#for the record this isn't something I'm like fixated on or even took that personally really

[blujayonthewing]

me: oh my god thank you for introducing me to pad thai by the way, it's SO good, we have it all the time now and it makes me think of you 🥰 friend: oh, I mean, there are other things too....... me: ..... okay well first of all we're cooking it at home, not just failing to be adventurous at restaurants, but also I was trying to casually connect with you as my friend over a small experience we shared that had a positive impact on my life but I guess I can just shut up instead

[ca-suffit]

i agree when it comes to female characters whatever their origins, I think the showrunners did the best they could. I did find weird that anne rice never wrote any queer female characters, it's all subtext. the books are really filled with sexism and while anne rice wrote the mayfair's witches, with a main female characters it's still full of incestuous rape and I couldn't believe amc took the decision to make an adaptation of those books. Just the whole stuff with 13 years old mona mayfair... I really never understand why anne rice wasn't comfortable with her female characters. anyway we could still have merrick in iwtv. they could change some elements of her plot.

tw csa

Anne Rice included a lot of themes that are popular and common still in modern stories and ppl tend to not understand the main difference of why ppl take offense to Anne's writing and not others. Case in point, this thread I responded to the other day on twt:

Here is the source (from her official website) for what OwlsGoldberg was referencing (thnx to them for sharing this link in the thread too) "O.K. I just read a book I recommend. It's called THE DEADLY FEAST by Richard Rhodes. The book centers around a man named Carleton Gajdusek. Carleton Gajdusek is a Nobel Prize winner and he's in prison--apparently for fondling a 14 year old in a shower. I have not seen the court record and I'm not in any way qualified to judge what goes on. All I want to say is that I highly recommend that you get the book. That the contribution of Carleton Gajdusek to medicine and to science has been fantastic and that I personally am looking into the whole question of child molestation, children's rights, because it concerns me. I remember being a young adult, and I remember being real angry that I wasn't allowed to do things that other adults were doing. I was working full time and I was living in a rooming house and I didn't like being classified as a teenager, because somebody wanted to sell me something expensive. I know I sound angry--I am. I am angry. But we've got to revise our concept of teenagers in this country. If we want to stop the crime in this country we've just got to realize that 14 and 15 year old people are adults, they are not children. And leading them to believe that there is a fundamental difference between play killing and real killing."

That's not even all of it for that twt thread, but u get the point. Nobody can ever criticize anything with Anne Rice without ppl saying it's just misogyny or ....whatever that accusation of queerphobia for a cast member is about (there was no clarification who that's referencing but I'm guessing it's Sam Reid bcuz this fandom rides hard for white queerness in him / Lestat at any chance, especially in order to silence other issues). It's always easy for these ppl to erase everything about anything else except "victimization" of a rich white woman. This only happens within the fandom too, as most ppl outside it don't respect Anne Rice at all for her behavior or writing....and that's without even knowing the depths of this kind of stuff. U couldn't pull this crap on any person on the street, they'd rightfully think ur terminally online and fucking weird.

Anyway, back to the point about themes. Anne Rice had repetitive themes that ppl will argue are for "the genre." The thing is tho....it has to still serve a purpose to the story to be any good. Most of the time (at least for my knowledge of TVC books), there isn't a reason to have these things present. She simply has a fixation on them and a lot of them are things that hurt women just for the sake of doing it. The reader is also uncomfortably made to feel like this is all supposed to be ok too, which is the main issue ppl have. It's not critical or intentionally envoking horror and dread....it's just saying "this is what being a girl/woman is" and giving the message to love ur abuser (most often a very old white man in TVC), which many survivors of a lot of things find triggering af.

Mentioning Merrick too, that's a character I rly liked and yet was wasted all over. The book with her name is narrated by David Talbot, this elderly, white, British pedophile, and we spend more time hearing his gross thoughts about her as a child and other similar shit in his life (always with underage poc) instead of spending time with her in her own head as an adult. Or Louis, for that matter, who is also more who the book is about than David, yet Davis is our narrator.

There's a lot more I could write but I'd never stop tbh. It's clear to most everyone who isn't finding excuses that Anne Rice just wasn't a good writer and had so many issues with misogyny and a lot of other things. I've never seen any other author excused so much from criticism, especially one who was so obviously known in life as being a rly unlikeable person, particularly to her own fanbase. If it weren't for other ppl, there wouldn't even be a fandom for her work. She v much almost destroyed it by herself.....but she's dead now, so ppl have been quick to start rewriting history and accusing others of anything they can think of to avoid criticism. Just like she always did.

[nycrollasintreatment]

3/20/2019 (1)

At first I had no intentions on contacting you. The only reason I am is because I'm following Dr. Beth's advice. She told me not to go to far into the darkness. It wouldn't be far fetched for me to go to Queens Hospital Center and say "It wouldn't be too far fetched to talk myself into self harm."

There's a lot I can say about my trip to Venture House. One thing I will say is it was important for me to be around people. Luckily it was a night they were open late. 

Currently it's 2:19 a.m. and I'm not remotely tired. I think the best place for me to start was that audio recording. Looking back I regret not being in the room. It talked about mistakes and learning from them. It was my way of telling you I was aware of what you would soon bring to my attention. Even though you listened, it's safe to say the focus wasn't going to be on that. I outlined the core of why I'm in therapy.

Once I was done with what I came to say, a transformation took place. My memory isn't the best but I remember you being turned towards the side a majority of the time. Once you said you wanted to talk to me about transference, you didn't have to be an expert in psychology to pick up on the transformation. The only real comparison I could think of is gang stalking. It's really hard to make that comparison because gang stalkers consciously know what they are doing. Because of my paper trail it wouldn't be difficult for me to remember everything that led up to this point. 

After making my way home, the first thing I did was make posts to social media. A change of heart has led me to take them down. They were starting to get dark. One of them dealt with a theme of only being capable of making women hate me. After this fiasco it feels like I have it in me to put a gun in a woman's hands and make her pull the trigger. In many ways the last thing I said wasn't a joke. Steve Brody wants to kill himself because hate is the only thing that seems real.

I have a good reason to be suicidal. In one of the tweets I mentioned taking on the theme to Say Anything. You're well aware of the times I knew I fucked up. It may have been a change in facial expression or something you said. What's scary is you're normally a nice person. 

In another tweet I said if the tables were turned, not only would it have been our last session, I would've went for the jugular and took away any reason you had left to live. I actually stared at the train tracks reminding myself this wasn't the worst case scenario.

The thought of putting a belt to the door has crossed my mind. God know I can talk my way into a noose right now. I told myself I can't do that. There are a lot of ways that I fucked up. It's difficult to look at some of the positives. Your body language pointed to me being a piece of shit. She probably assumed that I crossed that line. Truthfully it would've made me more suicidal. 

I really didn't want to write to you in fear that I'd say something that would make you want to cancel the appointment. I'm ambivalent about there being one more appointment, but I'm convinced that it should be our last one. It really isn't about the emphasis you put on transference. It's more about what you bought up at the tail end. I've been struggling for quite some time to find my place in the real world. You were right about therapy being a professional setting. One thing that's keeping me from making a trip to the E.R. is I've already got the ball rolling in terms of finding a replacement. Ultimately my goal is not to repeat the same mistake. I'm guessing my best bet is a male therapist that's on the more liberal side.

As much as I talk about suicide, it feels like one thing that would draw me one step closer is making a list of all the things I've said. After what happened in Australia I took steps in the right direction. I followed your advice of getting back on the horse after the holiday season. Before this hit the fan I was fixated on what happened between me and Alex in College Point. As bad as I feel now, there's a little comfort in knowing that I'm not on Michael Jackson's level of sick.

I've been to at least two S.A.A. meetings. After sharing you this truth I'll begin to wrap things up. As fucked up as I feel, what I'm telling you the God's honest truth. My agenda during our last meeting was to quit beating a dead horse and dive into some sensitive issues. I told you about a trigger word that left me "bound and broken on the floor". It relates to why stopped going to S.A.A. after two meetings. It feels like one of the best things I can do is go back.

During the official meeting sharing time is limited. At some point I'd like to share with the circle the hole I'm in right now. There was a natural high I was riding. The bottom line is I wanted to tell you everything. It wasn't really the words you used, it was your body language that really put a chill down my spine. This would be the point where I share on social media scenes of seppuku and Hari Kari.

I've written quite a lot. Before allowing myself to take a step back, I'd like to say one last thing. It would've been one thing to tell you hurtful things with the intention of hurting. I never wanted to hurt you with words. I imagine that you have nothing but hate for me because I liked you. That's the part that's always going to haunt me. In the end of The Butterfly Effect there's a scene where a boy says something hurtful to a girl. The girl runs away crying but it's evident that he did it intentionally so she'll be out of his life. It'll spare her from tragedy later. Now would be a good time to have those powers. God knows there's some dirt in everyone's consciousness.

I went from refusing to send an e-mail to finding some way to allow myself to sleep. In closing you can take my advice. Don't respond to my e-mail. Have someone call to say my appointment has been cancelled. That'll put more of an emphasis on the memory of the last time we saw each other... 

Hey Chris. I hope you will read this despite your request not to respond.

I am sorry for the way our last session made you feel. I have no negative feelings towards you at all and genuinely feel our conversation was in the best interest of the treatment. Some things that were said/written cannot be unsaid but I do not feel anything was done with malicious intent. I do agree that we should not continue treatment, however, I do not want this to end with bad feelings. I sincerely wish you all the best and hope that the next part of your journey is an amazing one. I am attaching referrals for some male therapists that I found online and hope that you will have a great experience with someone new. 

Please confirm that you got this message and are doing okay.

All the best

Gabi

3/20/2019 (2)

There was a specific moment when I knew it was game over. After sensing it when you mentioned "getting past the transference" I went home and googled the darkest songs. One of the songs I discovered for the first time was Mr. Crowley by Ozzy Osbourne. Under normal circumstances I would've steered clear from anything related to Alister Crowley. Even though I was impressed with the song on a melodic level, my instincts still told me to stop playing it. There had to be a driving force to get me through it. The writing was on the wall. This meant that I needed a new soundtrack. My week was mostly spent finding new song on the Music Choice Metal channel. The part of me that wanted to live knew not to play that noise in a state of shellshock...

Glad to hear you are trying to change the music. You are the pilot of your own life and no one from the outside can change that. Choose to keep fighting and try not to look back at your time here through a negative lens. Please let me know if you need any help finding a new therapist or if there is anything else I can do.

3/25/2019

Hey Chris. Seems like you've been thinking about this a lot. Best advice I can give you is to put this behind you without negativity or regret. Again, no bad feelings on this end, just do not think this is the best fit for you. I'm glad to hear you have been reaching out to others for support. 

These were the names of therapists I had sent you in an attachment earlier. It says online that they take medicare but I guess call and ask. If you go on psychology today you can search by zip code and find a convenient location.

(this e-mail ends with therapist referrals)

3/26/2019

The real reason why I internalized it is I was brutally honest both online and off. You finally saw me for who I really am and your reaction scared the shit out of me.

I actually opened up this e-mail app to share with you a video that's helping me through this recovery phase.

https://youtu.be/5rOiW_xY-kc

ZocDoc was the only resource I knew of to find a medical professional. Thanks for letting me know about Psychology Today.

After going to my third S.A.A. meeting, someone offered me a ride home. After filling him in on what bought me there, he said "You didn't go there for that!". I told him that it didn't happen right away. 

If I'm gonna be brutally honest, the hot seat I found myself in can be compared to proposal fails on YouTube. I was living in a bubble, but I was happy. I thought beer and blunts at Friday Night Skate could fill that void but it didn't. 

That guy was right. There came a point where I saw you as more than a therapist. The ringing of the division bell had begun. 

That test you gave me didn't completely register at that moment. When it did sink in I found myself guilty as charged...

Hey Chris. Seems like you've been thinking about this a lot. Best advice I can give you is to put this behind you without negativity or regret. Again, no bad feelings on this end, just do not think this is the best fit for you. I'm glad to hear you have been reaching out to others for support. 

These were the names of therapists I had sent you in an attachment earlier. It says online that they take medicare but I guess call and ask. If you go on psychology today you can search by zip code and find a convenient location.

(therapist referrals)

3/27/2019

I just want to make sure of the understanding that I won't be seeing you today. I don't want you to make the trip for nothing. Please let me know that you have things in motion with another therapist.

All the best

Gabi

[chaos0pikachu]

I do have thoughts!

I will say, if we take Jojo's comments at face value and assume he's not trolling to avoid spoilers - which would be possible but ultimately disappointing but I've been routinely disappointed by gmmtv's shows and don't have rose colored glasses towards Jojo's work like some folks do - then I had assumed that Boston was bothered by the reality of Top and Mew.

Because Top "won", he got what he wanted the entire time - Mew's virginity. I'm not sure if Boston is fixated on Top or Mew tbh, I feel like Top's read on Boston last episode - which was deserved - was closer to the truth of the matter; that Boston does feel inferior towards Mew.

I don't like speculating to much because it could easily get kripked and if I have to much faith in the narrative I'll be let down. I want to infer that Boston's probably had some relationship baggage b/c his father is a politician and how cavalier he is about getting revenge porned.

Like, let's really take that in, someone Boston had sex with, recorded him without his consent and threatened him with it for money.

I don't think fandom is really taking that in, or giving it any weight bc people don't like boston so they don't care or think he deserves it. What I hope is the narrative isn't just going to make it No Big Deal and it's only foreshadowing about Nick's recording coming to light. Which again, is a huge violation of both Boston and Top. It's literally illegal lol I think it's a really distant concept for people but it's a horrible experience.

But I do think Boston could, potentially, view relationships as something inherently to keep at a distance b/c historically ppl have always wanted something from him or if he was always in danger of having his intimate moments blasted publicly and/or used against him. Which might be what makes Top appealing, that he needs nothing from Boston b/c he already has everything and also has things at stake to lose.

If Boston is fixated more on Mew, it may be because he feels inferior to him b/c Mew doesn't have baggage. He's the core of the friend group, he's easily liked and he has a romantic view of relationships that Boston clearly doesn't share whether out or cynicism or bitterness. Other characters keep telling Boston he's a bad person, and, he is lol he's a shitty friend, but not always for like legitimate reasons but b/c he sleeps around a lot (something that we know Ray and Top also do but no one calls them slutty, Nick even blames the revenge porn thing on Boston being slutty). I can't tell if this is on purpose in the narrative to showcase that Boston being promiscuous isn't a flaw - it's his selfishness and inconsideration - or if the show is going for the "sluts are evil" trope. I'm hoping for the former rather than the latter.

So I took the scene as Boston being upset about MewTop but if it was about Ray and Sand it might just be b/c Ray is the same as Boston - selfish, inconsiderate of others - and is jealous that Ray's finding legitimate happiness with someone new and seemingly good. Or maybe he feels Ray is betraying Mew if Boston is fixated on Mew.

It could be a lot of options honestly, but it depends on whether Boston is supposed to be an actual character in the show or a caricature.

So the question I have is: Boston, why?

Like what was the point of this whole mess in the end of episode? I’m not complaining, I love mess, but I genuinely don’t understand. Especially the moment that he revealed the information about photos of Mew and Ray - to Ray. Wasn’t the smartest thing to do I would say.

So we see Boston in this episode being fine. Like he’s spending time with Nick and chilling and doing nothing dramatic. Even when Mew and Top come across - he does that bombastic side eye thing

But ten seconds later he’s totally enjoying his time with Nick and doesn’t seem bothered at all

We have Mew calling him with existing news TM and okay Boston is not happy there. But later he’s again totally fine with Nick, asking to stay over for the first time and it doesn’t look like he’s plotting something.

Even when he catches Sand and Ray he seems surprised but not in a bad way.

Well, until Nick brings up the fact that it’s not the first time those two having quality time together

And than they partying their shit out and having fun until what? What triggered Boston so hard? Nick asking SandRay about their relationship status? SandRay being clingy? Ray asking to stay over?

Like he shifted from this

to this

without any reason?

And okay, Jojo’s explanation here is fine - that’s how Boston is, he hates seeing people happy.

But it’s not like Sand and Ray were that happy of a couple? I mean they were clearly wasted and enjoyed each other a lot. But so as Boston with Nick? And it’s not like SandRay have something Boston hasn’t. He literally has the same relationship with Nick - even better, because these two actually discussed their status. And while Boston doesn’t know about Nick’s obsession and him recording the car scene - from his perspective they are all great. So it’s not about jealousy. These two are way messier from his perspective

Okay, Ray moving forward from Mew wasn’t part of his plan - but his plan already failed? So it’s not about TopMew thing. And anyway Ray wasn’t that important part of a plan in a first place.

And Boston seemed okay with Sand before, why hurting him? The whole “Sand has a right to know” topic is hmm okay but it’s not like Boston being real about his feelings towards Top with Nick so. Not about justice also.

So is it somehow about Ray? Like really Boston just doesn’t want his alcoholic suicidal friend (can I use this word or) to have some happiness in his life? That’s just cruel and also unreasonable. Or it’s just Boston being drunk and high and not controlling himself very well? Those situations can escalate quickly it’s a fact.

Can please someone explain to me what was his thought process here? Any assumptions please?

Side note but if somebody looked at me like Sand I would be really scared and shut up immediately

In conclusion, Boston, go to your room and think about that behavior

[kaiparker-avengerssmut]

Their Doll 11

Silent scream

B.Barnes x Stark!Reader, S.Rogers x Stark!Reader

series synopsis:  y/n Stark, all records of her non existent, and yet Hydra still find her. When she is kidnapped by a certain super-soldier and no one believes her, she finds herself searching for unexpected familiarity in her not-so-distant past.

Series Warnings: smut, violence, torture, swearing

Chapter Summary: y/n gets shut up

Warnings: mentions of violence, swearing

A/n: The timeline in this has been altered, as there I things I wanted to include but I also wanted this fic to follow the storyline/timeline of Winter Soldier and Civil war.So for purposes of this fanfic, Peter Parker was discovered by Tony at a much younger age - when he was bitten - and has been an intern with him since, almost like a protégée.(For the purposes of this story Peter was bitten much younger too - more like when he was 9 or ten rather than 14/15)

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

"Fuck you." I snapped, mustering all the saliva I could before spitting it at his face. He flinched back when it splattered over his cheek, his fingers swiping through the spittle before he was shaking it from them and standing back to his full height.

"It appears this one is never going to cooperate. If she won't give us information, why let our experimentations on her possibly...benefit the girl the the future?" The general spoke menacingly to the guards behind me. "How about way find a way to shut her up?"

My heat thudded so hard in my chest it was like someone was punching me from the inside, all air knocked from my lungs before I was being hoisted up to my feet again with two rough grips on my upper arms. My chest heaving, I coughed a ragged breath before composing myself. The glint of the silver blade in the corner of my vision sent my eyes bugging out of my skull and my mind into a flat panic.

So, I did what any rational person with my capabilities would do. I began to hum the deep melody - one a seldom sung - and a smirk crawled its way onto my now curved lips. Clearly, the general was prepared, but the two guards behind we weren't so lucky.

A desperate cry pierced my tune, harmonising with my voice as I heard the havoc I was causing. This was the first time I'd enjoyed a kill, the very first time I'd wanted to use my powers for such a horrific reason. I'd only ever used this part of my power a few times, but this was the only time I'd been fully lucid whilst doing so.

Some people want nothing more than to blow their enemies' brains out, and trust me when I tell you; It felt good.

However, luck was never on my side, and the General had come full prepared. He wasn't even affected, it must've been something to do with the funny earpiece he was wearing.

As my eyes met his, the General's face held non of the cocky, smug tones that I'd expect. No, the only word I could use to describe his old and crinkled features was pure ire, and it was directed at me.

"You conniving, vile little bitch!" He snarled, the flash of silver weeding a sense of utter and complete dread, tangled with fear inside of me, uprooting my confidence. I don't remember a lot after that, to tell you the truth. I know the blade sliced along my throat. I know everything was rained black. And that's about it.

...

Awakening with a gasp was the last thing I expected to happen. The sight of the blade risen in front of the general burned into my mind, almost as if it'd been scorned against my flesh. But here I was: awake, gasping for breath, completely surrounded by doctors I'd never seen before.

My hand instantly flew to my neck, a stinging sensation pulsing from the delicate skin. I hissed as my sweaty palm made contact with the bandage, the material corse and scratchy against my skin. As a doctor waddled over to me, needle in hand, I flailed desperately, a silent scream ripping from my throat.

Hang on a second-

Silent scream? I tried again, the shrill noise that should be tearing from me simply vanishing as it hit my throat. My eyes widened with the realisation, my bottom lip wobbling as I suddenly pieces together what had happened.

He said he'd have to shut me up, didn't he? The thought made me want to scream loudly, that the blade had touched my skin and left me with no defence.

They took away the hell they'd reigned upon me, something I'd wished I could be rid of for years, and now I was disappointed. Maybe this was their plan all along, that little voice in my head sang. The tears pricked at my eyes, which rolled back lazily as the scratch of the needle poked at my neck.

...

My calloused fingers ran over the cut tirelessly, trying to itch somewhere that I could never seem to find. I don't know how long I was sedated for, but since waking up the bleeding had stopped and there was now an offensive red line that slid horizontally across my neck.

Every time I touched it, it coaxed a wince from me, and yet that's all I seemed to do. It was like poking a bruise, I guess. The more it hurts the more you want to do it.

They'd returned me to my cell, clearly very little need for restraints against my weakened, starved and dehydrated body. I could see the flesh thinning on my arms, my ribs pressing painfully against my skin. Not only could I see the hunger, but I could feel it.

Manifesting, biting, gnawing hunger. The type that are you from inside out, devouring everything of you until the only thing you could think about was eating. Huh, I guess I was already at that stage then.

My eyes remained locked in place, glossy with the endless tears as I stared at the floor. If I really looked hard enough, the still wet blood smeared over the floors of the hallway resembled something close to strawberry jam. The thoughts of the sickly sweat substance spread over a perfectly toasted piece of bread, accompanied with a big glass of fresh orange juice and washed down by a large coffee made my mouth water. The booming rumble in my stomach made the groan, even more drawn out than expected when I remembered all I'd get to eat today: a small bread roll and a tiny glass of water.

Sadly, the sink in my cell did not contain drinking water. The liquid was so discoloured that I purposely avoided washing me hands, preferring to possible have my own germs coating my hands than whatever they were giving me. I'm not kicking you about, I genuinely think the water was filtered through a clump of fucking horse shit, mixed with fish guts and complimented with a hint of rotting fruit. If I could help it, I'd be dodging that water like the plague (if it didn't contain one already) for the rest of my life.

I'm not really sure why, but my head snapped up in surprise why the door sprang open, a single guard entering.

"The general requires your presence." He deadpanned, eyes cold as eyes and sharp as a knife as they stabbed through me. I wanted to fight back, stay glued to the spot and snap back some snarky remark, but in my current condition I almost couldn't bring myself to care where I was about to be taken, or why for that matter.

I stood without a word, silently following the man until we reached an unfamiliar metal door. I found it almost laughable, really, that they'd reduced my strength so much, that no one even considered putting me any sort of restraints anymore.

The door was pushed open with a child-like whine emitting from its rusty hinges, the metal scraping over the concrete floor painfully. The guard simply grabbed my arm before tugging me into the room, letting the door shut behind his with a hollow thunk.

"Ah, she has arrived!" The general's voice exclaimed, a deviant smile spreading over his thin lips. "And just in time to meet Mr Pierce, too." He said menacingly.

I felt embarrassed, exposed, stood before the room of men. My hair was a mess, tears streaking my reddened face, eyes puffy from crying and the only clothes a wore was a now-battered hospital gown. My eyes darted around nervously, trying to avoid the blonde man sat before me, chin resting in his palm as he surveyed me.

"Why is this one...important?" The man asked, eyeing me up and down before his eyes seemed to fixate on my neck. The scar.

"This," the general spoke, but Mr Pierce kept his eyes on me, "is Miss y/n Stark." Mr Pierce's eyes widened ever so slightly, but it was barely noticeable.

"As in Tony Stark?" Pierce pondered.

"The very same." The general smirked.

"She seems awfully...quiet, for a Stark." Pierce said with almost a hint of disgust, eyes still glued to my shaking frame.

"That's because we shut her up." The general snapped, awfully harshly.

"Is that the scar? How fresh is it?" Pierce jabbed his questions, curiosity clearly becoming him in the moment.

"Indeed. Our doctors here are very good, Sir. They had her all patched up and out of bandages in just three days." The general bragged, shoulders back and head held high as if he was posing for a portrait.

"I see." Pierce mused, brows furrowed in thought. "What do you plan to do with her? Now that she can't tell you anything?"

"Oh, trust me, sir. She wasn't giving anything up either way," he paused, striding over to me and yanking my head back with a fistful of hair, my back mow  pressed to his chest and his mouth at my ear, "isn't that right, sweetheart?"he clarified, and I didn't hesitate to nod my head as much as his grip would allow.

"So why isn't she dead?" Pierce gritted, seemingly annoyed. "It's not like Tony's attached to her, he never looked for her and I've never even heard him mention her."

"But then they'll keep coming. I don't want the avengers on my back, and I'm sure you don't either." Pierce hummed in agreement. "She's with them - her and that Captain America guy arrived together - so why not use her to send a message?" The general suggested.

...

That's how I found myself tied up, wrists bound and gun to my head as I sat shakily in a chair in the middle of the quinjet. I had no clue how long I'd been since that day, but I do know that I had been sedated once again. The flimsy hospital gown allowed a shiver to chill me, skin  forming goosebumps as I sat before the open door or the quinjet.

"You will tell them exactly as I just did. Got it?" The general pressed, pushing the gun into my head hard enough to make by head throb. Tears biting at my eyes, I nodded furiously, now determined to live with the promise of being free again. "Good. Soldat, make sure she gets back to New York without being seen, I'd hate to have to spill more blood than we intended." The general demanded, a figure rustling its way out of the shadows at the edge of the room. A gasp tore from my throat at the sight of him - clad in black leather and arm as silver as the moon. The soldier - my soldier.

But he simple stared through me, eyes blank and clouded in a coldness I'd never had directed at me from him before.

"And make sure you don't fail this time, soldat." The general snapped. The soldier nodded solemnly, the echoing of boots thudding filling both their ears as the general walked off the ship.