#for the record it does make sense I just disagree with all of them

[lexirosewrites]

Wealthy omega Steve going on an arranged date each week to the same restaurant because his parents want him to find a mate.

Alpha Eddie who busks in the parking lot for tips and always offers him a cigarette and a shoulder to cry on after it doesn’t work out.

It takes them a while.

“Another one? That’s the third date this week, pretty boy. You going for a record or something?” Eddie asks, already holding his half-finished cigarette out for Steve to take.

He does. It’s his only reward for doing all of this.

Well, that and Eddie.

Eddie makes this easier.

Steve takes a long draw from it, craving the burn of nicotine more than he cares to admit to himself.

He craves Eddie’s company too, but that’s between him and the cigarette.

“Yeah, my parents are working overtime it seems. They’re bound and determined to have me mated off before spring.”

Steve laughs.

Eddie doesn’t.

“They sound awful.”

They are. Their insistence on old-fashioned values and treating their omega son like a burden to be rid of is proof enough.

“They mean well,” he says. “I think.”

Eddie hums thoughtfully. It’s clear that he disagrees.

Steve passes the cigarette back.

The alpha snubs it out on the sidewalk they’re sitting on instead.

“How long are you gonna keep doing this for?”

“Well, as long as it takes to find someone who’s interested, I guess. There’s not an exact timeline or any—”

Eddie startles Steve when he cuts him off with a growl.

He doesn’t look mad, but his forehead creases, deep frown, and sour scent speaks of irritation.

“Not what I meant.”

Oh.

“I don’t know, Eddie. They’re my parents… and it’s not like I’ve got anyone else knocking down my door.”

Even his dates aren’t interested once they’ve met him in person.

Steve always looks good on paper. He’s attractive and from an upstanding family, a decent investment at first glance.

But then he opens his mouth. That’s where their interest always ends.

Sometime between shaking hands and dessert, their eyes get bored and they start checking their watch more. They don’t bother to hide that they’re running out the clock, eager to be away from Steve.

He thought it would hurt less after a while, but it doesn’t.

“How many times are we gonna do this, Stevie?“

And now even Eddie is bored with him. It makes sense. They’ve been meeting up for months and Steve isn’t worth much for stimulating conversation.

It had to end eventually.

“I’m sorry. I— I didn’t realize I was bothering you. I can leave you to your gigging, man. Let me just—”

Steve reaches for his wallet, pulling out a thick wad of bills to shove in Eddie’s guitar case as an apology for taking up his precious time.

Compensation for the therapy.

“Hey, no— that’s not what I meant, baby. I just— ugh, why is this so hard to say?” Eddie groans, grabbing at his own hair in frustration.

Steve hasn’t the faintest idea what’s ailing Eddie. The guy is normally chill 100% of the time. It’s why Steve goes to him for comfort. He’s hard to shake.

“Sorry?” he tries.

“No, I’m sorry! I just can’t sit here for yet another evening and pretend like there are more fish in the sea for you or whatever,” Eddie explains frantically, his eyes begging Steve to understand.

Ouch. Okay. Point made.

Steve is unlovable, got it.

He stands, brushing off his slacks so his shaking hands aren’t as noticeable.

Keep cool. Breathe.

“Understood. I won’t bother you anymore then. I can park across the street next time too. Good luck with everything, Eddie. I’m sure your band will get signed soon, you’re a talented musician.”

Eddie shoots to his feet, almost tripping over his own lanky limbs in the process.

He grabs the sleeve of Steve’s dress shirt, stopping him from leaving.

“Don’t go on anymore dates.”

Jesus.

“Yeah, I got it the first time, thanks. I’m undesirable. Can you stop repeating it?”

Eddie looks like he’s been slapped, but he doesn’t say anything back. The bluntness must have caught him off guard.

Steve sighs, attempting to pull free from the alpha’s grip.

He almost manages it.

But then Eddie snaps back to reality and his eyes go wide for just a split moment before he kisses Steve right on the lips.

It’s unexpected to say the least.

It’s also probably the best kiss of his entire life. Too bad it’s from someone who just told him to quit dating because nobody will ever want to court him.

They finally break apart and Steve sways.

“Eddie… what in the actual hell are you—?”

“I love you! I love you— I’ve been in love with you for months, but you insist on going on all these dates with alphas who have no taste and they keep breaking your heart and leaving me to pick up the pieces, but I don’t want to keep handing them back. I want to keep you, Steve. I want to be the only alpha you go on dates with.”

Steve stops trying to run away.

Instead, he yanks at the collar of Eddie’s shirt, tugging him into another, longer kiss.

This is love, huh? Makes sense.

His lips are warm and so is his heart. Patched up once more and encased in a body other than his own

No more arranged dates.

“That was a ‘yes,’ in case it didn’t translate.”

Eddie’s face is flushed and his happy smile is infectious.

“I don’t have the kind of money your usual dates have, but I had this really cute guy way overtip me earlier. Can I buy you dinner, pretty boy?”

It’s the first of many.

[hotheadedhero]

Like 'em Big

AN: I have so many stories to write but I had to do this. Blaming being sick, m'kay? Fever has got me bad and these meds got me loopy. Thinking we need some good, silly fun in our lives, right? Plus, now that I've watched Rise, I'm hungry for some big Raph appreciation. I know I ain't the only one

Part 2

All characters are aged up

Raphael x Reader

Warnings: near peril, easily smitten, possible errors due to fever (what kind of fever is up for deliberation🥴)

Cutting right to the chase. You like big dudes. That doesn't necessarily mean muscles, either. You just love you a big man - someone with a bit of something-something to them. More to love, you know? Given your track record with the greater world, it shouldn't be all that much of a mystery. Cats? Get yourself a tiger that you can cuddle into. Jumpers? Comfort central, baby. Beds? If you can't spread eagle then you see no point. The old-age saying does declare that the bigger the better, so who are you to disagree? How true that is may be up for debate but it’s merely as simple as understanding what your preferences are.

However, this makes dating a difficult ballpark to play in. No matter how tall, jacked, or voluptuous someone is, it never feels like enough. Human biology and genetics can only go so far in the conceivably possible sense. You just want to be absolutely engulfed when you get a hug. Is that such a crime? Apparently, it is. Unfortunately, you also seem to come across the worst jerks when you attempt to date within this set of criteria. One might argue it's your karmic justice for being so superficial and picky but a woman has needs. Not those kinds of needs, either. Get your head out of the gutter.

All hope seems lost and after yet again, another failed date, you decide to call it in for the evening and make your way home. A fresh failure and another wonderful outfit gone to waste. By no means is it anything flashy but you put a lot of work into it: pencil skirt, turtle neck sweater, and a nice pair of boots to compliment the look. The whole shebang! All of that effort for nothing. This is the last time you spend three hours doing your hair and makeup. Block after block, your feet grow heavier with every step. What you would give to come across a mountain-like man you can climb who is also a kindred spirit. Perhaps this dream guy will forever be that - a dream. Men like that don't just fall out of the sky.

"Look out!!"

The sudden shout almost scares you into tripping over and you look behind yourself, wishing you hadn’t. Two very large, very dangerous-looking figures entangled in battle, those of which are approaching your helpless little self. You quickly duck as the giants hurdle over you. One falls on its side whilst the other claws and skids against the ground, regaining its balance. It shakes its head and locks onto you, a guttural snarl rumbling past its jowls. Such a creature is surely from the stuff of nightmares. An indescribable nightmare whose sights are set on you. The smart option would be running away but it's as though your shoes have melted into the pavement. Pawing into the tarmac, the beastly thing growls and lunges for you. Great. This is how you die: torn limb from limb by a demon dog. Well, assuming your clothes join you, at least you’ll look like a total babe in the afterlife.

"Oh no ya’ don't," the other one yells from behind the predator, grabbing it by its tail. “Pretty ladies are not food!”

With a mighty tug, he pulls it back and swings it as far away from you as possible. You release a shaky breath, legs trembling beneath you. That was far too close for comfort. The fight isn’t quite over, however. Just as it approaches him, the green goliath swivels on his feet, full 180, and whacks the creature's jaw with a closed fist. His speed alone has you in awe but the force is astounding, practically earth-shattering. It completely knocks the air around you and pushes you onto your backside.

When the dust clears, the first thing you see is your saviour panting, his spiky shell(?) pointed towards you. Just past him in the distance, you notice three more figures in blue, purple, and orange taking a closer look at the unconscious tyrant. You swear one of them pokes at it with a stick. Witnessing strange beings such as this isn't entirely new. Anyone who's watched Chateau Pretenche knows about the celebrity chef turning into a grotesque pigman. To describe it in one word? Horrifying. It's just whether people choose to believe it genuinely happened or if these bizarre entities exist. Being up close and personally observing it now puts your scepticism in check.

As the humanoid turtle calms, he turns to face you, recapturing your attention. A red mask sits over his eyes and there’s a noticeable snaggle tooth poking past his upper lip. Typically, the prerogative is keeping out of sight but it’s much too late for that. He gradually advances towards you. You watch him warily and he keeps his movements slow for that very reason. It wouldn’t be a shock if you were to try and make an escape. He wouldn’t blame you. Currently, all he wants to do is make sure you weren’t hurt during that fiasco provided you don’t suddenly come out of your bewilderment and run off. You have good reason to but he just saved you. Either that or he’s as ravenous as that beast and wants you all to himself. The irrational conclusion remains as such - irrational - when he descends to one knee and outstretches a hand. There’s an irrefutable kindness in his eyes; a caring nature that can’t be replicated in the face of savage brutes.

"You okay?" he asks.

You continue to gawk without a word but, bit by bit, you reach out for his offer. Your fingers lightly trace the centre of his palm before comfortably trusting the proposal. His hand engulfs yours completely and Raph hopes to mercy that you don’t realise how sweaty he’s getting. He can feel his heart beating like crazy. He wonders how much of that is the adrenaline from the fight and how much of it is being in the presence of such a beautiful gal. As he helps you to your feet, he rises to his own. Someone of his stature shouldn’t be capable of being this delicate but he is. It has you running through a loop and you unintentionally stare at the remarkable behemoth.

Quite pathetically, you nod, unable to verbally respond to his question. How can you? You are effectively starstruck. Once you gloss over the turtle-y features, all you see is the sheer size of him as he towers over you. Height, width, the magnitude of those arms! All of it is glorious. You can hear the universe asking, “You want a big man, huh? How about one who isn’t human?” to which you answer, “Who gives a damn?”. If the only way a man can be this big is not to be human, so be it.

Amidst a whisper, your mouth moves on its own, "You're beautiful."

"What?"

"Huh?" Blinking out of your trance, you realise what you’ve said and giggle sheepishly, "I mean, you're be... ba... booming! Totally awesome with the whole- uh... saving thing." Nailed it. 

He blinks right back down at you. This is certainly a first. He can feel his face heating up and he withdraws his hand lest you endure the wrath of his bashfulness, opting to hold the back of his head. At this moment, he seems to look anywhere but you.

"Heh. Gee, thanks." His humility is adorable and you’re glad he doesn’t question your initial statement. He turns to you once more, regaining some composure. "You sure you're okay, though? That thing was pretty scary looking."

It’s clear that you haven’t sustained any physical injuries but even bearing witness to something so unsightly can have lasting effects on one's mind. His brows furrow gently in concern down at you and it occurs to you that there’s a soft heart under all of that shell and muscle. Bonus points. This makes you smile for the first time in front of him and Raphael is sure that the streetlights got brighter.

You laugh fondly, “Yeah, I’m okay. Thank you.” Twiddling your fingers, your lips purse up in his direction.  “Is there any way I can repay you?”

He places his hands on his hips and chuckles cutely, “Just doing my duty, ma’am.”

He may be indulging in his alter ego - the Red Angel of Preventing Harm - but it’s not every day he gets paid thanks when he saves someone. It’s also not every day he gets to save such a pretty woman, either. You, however, can’t just leave it at that. There must be some way in which you can properly thank him. Ulterior motives include getting to know this already loveable lug better but shh. It feels like the odds are finally turning in your favour and you won’t let this slip away from your grasp. That’s when it hits you.

Muttering under your breath, you erratically search through the confines of your little handbag. You are certain that you had one in here somewhere. In the spare pocket maybe? Ah! Found it. Fumbling to take the lid off of your pen, you hold out your hand, gesturing for his. He slowly complies, to which you jot down a series of digits on his palm accompanied by your name and a tiny 'x'. 

"Gimme a text sometime," is the last thing he hears before you disappear around a corner.

Oh? Oh. Ohhh. Wow. Getting your number is the last thing he expected. Did he get hit on the head during that scuffle or something? Was everything from the last few minutes a dream? He bores holes into the writing on his skin, scanning it over and over, scared that it’ll disappear if he so much as blinks. A dumb, wobbly smile not so gracefully decorates his lips as he trudges back to the turtle tank. He takes his seat but it’s obvious that he isn’t all there. Being so caught up in his rose-tinted bubble, he doesn’t register his brothers' voices. In an effort to gain his attention, Michelangelo jumps onto his shoulder, partly intrigued by what their leader is so absorbed by.

"Oh me gosh!” the young brother screams in shrill excitement, “Raph's in love!"

Careful not to smudge the neat ink, he’s quick to hide his hand against his chest. "That's crazy talk!”

Donatello sniffs the air and mockingly covers his nose. "The overwhelming manifestation of your nervous stink indicates otherwise, dear brother."

"I got a girl’s number!” he continues to defend, feeling his face go all kinds of red. “'Course, I'm nervous but that don’t mean I’m in love."

Lies and slander. It was practically love at first sight. He just doesn’t like the idea of his brothers knowing that. It’s easy pickings to be made fun of.

"Don't worry, Big Red. Lucky for you, you got a guy who knows all about the charm." Leonardo points both thumbs at himself as he falls back into his seat and props his legs up on the dashboard. "First, you just need to..."

The "helpful" advice drowns out as the large snapper opens and gazes at his palm again. He just can't comprehend how a gorgeous individual such as yourself could take one look at him and give him your number. It's puzzling but he supposes there’s a first for everything? That also doesn't mean he won't text you. The only thing getting in the way of that is fear. Raphael thinks he’d rather go toe-to-toe with that mutant dog again than have to face the risk of embarrassing himself. To anyone who knows him, it’s no surprise that he caves under pressure. No. He will do it! A chance like this is one in a million.

Oh boy. What could possibly go wrong?

[aesethewitch]

Ghosts 101

Spirit work has always been the ultimate base of my spiritual and magical practices. Some of my earliest clear memories are of encounters with spirits, and I’ve always had a talent for sensing them. In a horror movie setting, I’d be that person who gets the weird feeling in the hallway right before all the doors slam shut at once, feeling the shift in the air before whatever ghoul’s around makes its mischief.

I mention this right out of the gate so that you, the reader, know that most of what I know about ghosts (and spirits in general) comes from personal experience. Not books, not videos, not other people’s work. There’s a lot of UPG in this little essay. Just keep that in mind as you read.

If there’s something you disagree with or have different experiences with, I’m not surprised! Everything in the realm of spirits, including ghosts, can really only be theorized about. Disagreeing opinions, experiences, and theories are very, very welcome. Drop ‘em in the replies, reblogs, or my inbox. Or, if you want, make a post of your own and tag me in it. I want to see them!

Anyways, with that lengthy UPG disclaimer out of the way, let’s get to the good stuff.

What is a Ghost?

I think it’s important to note, though kind of obvious, that ghosts are a sub-category of spirit. All ghosts are spirits, but not all spirits are ghosts. But what is a ghost, exactly?

As with most things, theories differ. In general, ghosts are thought to be… well, dead people. Some folks think that ghosts are the soul, essence, or spirit of a person who has died. Others believe that ghosts are just a fragment of a person’s spirit. But I’ve also seen theories stating that ghosts aren’t really ghosts, they’re echoes or imprints of human energy that once existed in a place.

Then, there are folks who think ghosts don’t exist at all. I can’t really blame them; empirical, repeatable proof of ghosts is tough to get in order to be satisfying in a scientific way. The only reason I personally believe in ghosts is because I’ve had several encounters that can’t otherwise be explained. Plus, for me, it goes hand-in-hand with other types of spirit work. Ghosts being real just makes sense with the framework I use to engage with the world.

So, obviously, there isn’t one single, concrete answer as to what a ghost is. We can only theorize.

My Theories

My personal theory aligns more or less with one of the more common theories. I think that ghosts are the lingering spirits of living beings who have died. Note I say living beings — some people think that only humans can become ghosts, but I think that any living thing can become one. In the case of plants and trees, ghosts behave somewhat differently than animals; but that’s a whole other conversation to be had. For the sake of this post, I plan on focusing mainly on human ghosts.

The way I understand it, ghosts are the whole, complete essence of a person that lingers in the physical realm for a time after their physical body no longer functions. I believe there are also energetic imprints — energy left over from the living, often (but not always) caused and fueled by strong emotions and lingering ties of memory in a place. These imprints can seem like a haunting, but the key difference is that they aren’t sentient. They may echo when you call, but they won’t give answers that are intelligent or timely according to questions asked or stimulus provided by the living. Sort of like recording a ringing bell; playing the bell’s chime back doesn’t ring the bell again. It just plays the sound it knows.

Now, death does funny things to the mind. Depending on the circumstances of the death, a ghost might have full awareness that they were alive, have died, and are now a ghost. I find this is most common for people who died of old age and long-term diseases: people who knew they were nearing the end, for one reason or another.

Ghosts formed from more sudden deaths, on the other hand, are likelier to not know what happened. They may figure it out given time, or they may never learn the truth. As with most other things dealing with individuals, the exact circumstances vary. No two ghosts are exactly the same. Some people don’t become ghosts at all, I’ve found! They simply move on.

Another important aspect of my theories on ghosts is that I think they fade. Unless they’re continually tied to a space, fed a steady supply of energy, and purposely kept in the physical realm, I believe that they can’t sustain a form here. Without a physical body to keep the spirit, soul, consciousness, or whatever we are, a ghost is gradually pulled into the more ethereal side of things. The astral plane, the other side, the afterlife, et cetera; I’m not sure, personally, where they end up. Maybe it depends on what they were attached to in life, maybe it doesn’t. Who knows!

I think this is where I draw the distinction between ghosts and ancestor spirits. “Ancestor spirits,” in my practice, aren’t individual people from my past. Rather, they’re a sort of collective consciousness made up of all the people who came before me who are connected to me through familial, cultural, and blood ties. I like to believe that ghosts become part of that collective when they fade out of the physical world. All this is to say, ghosts are just people who are dead. They won’t be around forever unless they’re bound and kept “fed.”

On Hauntings

The first half of the things everyone wants to know is: How do we know when a ghost is actually present? It’s a good question, one that’s hotly debated in ghost hunting circles. For the sake of argument, I think we need to define the word haunting first.

To be clear, a haunting isn’t just when a ghost is present. A ghost just passing through or lingering for a little while doesn’t necessarily make a haunting. That would be better described as a presence. A haunting, in my opinion, is a long-term, sustained presence of a ghost or imprint.

And the first step to dealing with a haunting is to determine whether the place you’re in is actually haunted. You don’t have to have super sensitive psychic powers to detect the presence of ghosts. Some folks might have an easier time of it than others, but anyone can learn how to discern when a ghost is hanging around.

It’s important to note that commonly-reported signs of ghost presences and hauntings are also symptoms of other issues like mold, electrical issues, pressure changes, carbon monoxide, stress and anxiety, noisy neighbors, animals outside or in the walls (including bugs), sleep apnea or insomnia, and more. It’s important to consider mundane reasons before leaping to magical, spiritual, or ghostly ones.

With that in mind, let’s say that you’ve ruled out all the mundane possibilities, and you’re still left wondering whether that place is capital-H Haunted. How can you tell?

In my experience, there are a few signs that will stick out:

Disembodied sounds, such as voices, knocking, and walking

A pervasive chill or prickling feeling, particularly on parts of the body that are covered

A feeling of being touched, poked, or prodded

Visual disturbances like mist or shadows

Sudden smells that can’t be explained, such as perfume, tobacco, or food

Batteries in things like phones and cameras draining very quickly

Now, note that even with these signs, a lot of these things can happen with spirits that aren’t ghosts. The only way to know for absolutely sure that you’re dealing with a ghost and not a mischievous, physical-realm-poking non-human spirit is to make contact and ask.

My fellow sensitive individuals may experience other signs during a haunting. Depending on where your abilities lie, you might experience stronger sensations or detect signs of a haunting earlier than others who haven’t trained these senses.

What Causes a Haunting?

It’s hard to say. Some people (particularly ghost hunters with big TV shows who need to make those viewer numbers go up) say that ghosts stick around because they’re pissed off or had some tragedy befall them in life. Trauma ties them to their surroundings, trapping them between life and death as a specter, or something like that.

Honestly, all that tells me is that these guys are trying to sell you something (their show). I’ve met maybe two ghosts that were like that, and they had extremely good reasons for it. That’s not to say there aren’t traumatized ghosts out there; just that they aren’t nearly as common or the only explanation for a haunting.

I’m personally not sure what causes some ghosts to linger over others. I think it does partly have to do with emotion, but it may also have to do with the amount of energy the person had left when they died. For example, the ghost of my great-aunt faded within a couple weeks after she died, because she was old, tired, and ready. On the other hand, the ghost of a guy I went to school with who died in an accident a few years ago is still lingering on the train tracks where it happened. It’s an extremely individual thing.

Another part of lingering ghosts and hauntings, I think, is interaction with the living. Without a physical body, the ghost has no native source of energy. Part of working with ghosts, for me, has been learning how to share energy (mine or from other sources) with ghosts to help them communicate, interact, and continue existing. When the energy runs out, they fade. With a steady supply of energy sources, a ghost could theoretically haunt a place indefinitely.

So, what causes a haunting? I don’t really know for sure! What causes a haunting to linger? A steady source of energy, I think.

Making Contact

So, you want to talk to a ghost. Cool! You’ve got a ton of options at your disposal.

There are the witch-typical methods of spirit communication, most of which would work fairly well for talking to ghosts. I’ve talked a little bit about spirit communication methods before in a more general sense, but I find that ghosts don’t always respond well to divination.

In my experience, simpler tools are better. Unless I knew for a fact that a person understood tarot in life, I would be unlikely to use it to talk to their ghost. Tools you can easily explain that provide clear answers would likely serve you best for most ghosts. My biggest suggestions are pendulums, which are easy for ghosts to understand and manipulate, and ouija boards. Yes, yes, I can hear the gasping and booing already.

Listen. Ouija boards are not evil. Ouija is a game. But talking boards really are good tools for talking to ghosts. Again, they’re easy to understand and manipulate. Plus, you can get really clear answers from a talking board if your ghost is chatty.

There are other tools that have been popularized by ghost hunters that may come in handy, too. Personally, I’ve had success with voice recorders catching EVP (electronic voice phenomena) and, on one notable occasion, a ghost box.

Honestly, I’ve had little use for tools like these outside of ghost hunting scenarios where we’re trying to prove ghosts’ existence in a scientific sense. Voice recorders catching wisps of voice in the background are super cool, and I definitely would suggest having one on hand when doing a ghost adventure. But they’re not great for in the moment communication, since you have to stop a recording to listen back to it and then react who knows how long later.

Where ghost boxes are concerned, I’ve only had the one opportunity to try it out. We were in a location I knew to be haunted thanks to previous visits, and it did seem to work okay. I’d like to try it again sometime to see if it was just a fluke or if it’s an actual, viable thing to use. With any tool commonly used in ghost hunting TV shows (or that’s otherwise Popular By Spectacle), I always approach with serious skepticism. Those shows are all about creating a reaction that can be captured; and when they don’t receive a response, they’re liable to make shit up for the cameras. It’s annoying, especially when a tool might really be useful but it’s shrouded in the very necessary skepticism around these shows.

Now, my personal go-to method to connect to ghosts is to just… talk to them. I don’t usually need to use any tools for it. But I’ve spent many, many, many years honing the skills needed to do this. It’s worth learning how to do if you plan on working with spirits, but it does take effort to get good at, even if you have an innate talent for it. If you can, take some time to develop a sense for spirits. Learn what spiritual presences feel like for you. You may not get immediate results at first, but the skill of sensing energy can apply across the board. And even if you get no “real” response, you can still talk to the ghosts.

When you go to communicate with a ghost, just remember that they’re still a person. They’re not a spectacle, though they are fascinating. Not all ghosts are going to want to talk to you. Not all ghosts are going to like you. Be respectful. Treat that ghost like you’d treat any stranger out in the wild. Don’t be an asshole.

On Mediumship

This is mostly just a brief note, since it’s an adjacent topic that I’ve gotten questions about before.

Not everyone who talks to or works with ghosts is a medium. A medium is a particular career or path that describes someone who acts as a connector between the living and the dead. I tend to think of mediums as the telephone in a conversation — relaying messages back and forth. I used to do medium work all the time. It’s an exhausting path that requires a lot of self-discipline and solid boundaries dealing with both the living and the dead. I don’t do it anymore, though I do still communicate and work with ghosts regularly.

Just keep in mind that you don’t have to take on the title or mantle of “medium” in order to talk to, work with, or research ghosts.

Ghostly Q&A

I received a handful of questions about ghosts in the run up to posting this; thank you everyone who sent in a question! If you’ve got a question and want my perspective on it, feel free to drop it in my inbox or in the replies/reblogs of this post.

From @moonmargaritas: “How do you tell the difference between nervousness at discerning the presence of a ghost (new practitioner who still gets jitters 🤙) and sensing actual hostile intent?”

This is a really great question! This is something I had to work through myself when I got started. And honestly, I still get jitters sometimes many years later! It can be scary, even when you’re used to it.

The biggest piece of advice I have is to learn how your body experiences nervousness or anxiety. Where does that sit in your body? What kind of feelings to you experience?

For me, nervousness is a sort of itchy tingling around my shoulders and tightness around my ribs. It also manifests as the feeling of being watched or observed too closely. It’s easy to misattribute those feelings to a ghost’s presence — tingling and feeling like something’s watching? Those are classic ghost interactions! But I know that’s what anxiety feels like. That’s how I feel when the lights go out too fast or I hear a branch snap in the distance.

Once you know, you can work past those feelings and focus on what’s actually happening with the ghost (or spirit). I think of it like knowing when someone’s mad at me. Are they mad, or am I just anxious? It’s the same idea.

And, as a note, ghosts with hostile intent are few and far between. I personally don’t think that most ghosts, even the nastiest ghosts, can actually hurt you; they don’t have the energy resources for it. The ones that do are obvious, and you won't really have to question their intentions. However, you can always work with the communication methods mentioned above to determine the ghost’s feelings and intents. If you’re worried about negative interactions, a bit of salt and rosemary in a little pouch placed in your pocket goes a long way for protection.

From anonymous: “What’s an unusual way people could use to communicate with spirits? Like an expected divination tool or something we should pay more attention to.”

Hmmmm! Honestly, I think that classic, actual call and response is underrated specifically when it comes to ghosts. Yeah, we’ve all seen the Ghost TV Guys call out for a knock or a word or whatever, but when they get a response, they wig out and don’t do anything with it. It’s annoying!! Because genuinely, saying “tap once for yes, twice for no” and asking questions is a really, really solid way to communicate with a ghost when you have no other tools that will work on hand. I’ve had ghosts lead me to important places and objects within houses doing this. I think more people should give it a try without falling prey to the over-the-top reaction of “DID YOU HEAR THAT?!”

From anonymous: What advice would you give someone dealing with a haunting?

For a run-of-the-mill, regular old haunting? Let it run its course. Most hauntings, when left alone, will fade. However, if you’re inclined to talk to the ghost(s), get them to leave quicker, or get them to be less intrusive in your life, there are a few things you could do.

To talk to them, choose a method of communication and try to reach out like I described above. Get to know them if you can, and set some ground rules. If they won’t (or can’t) communicate with you, and you really want them gone, I would probably recommend a gentle banishing ritual. Something that doesn’t scream “get out” so much as kindly say, “It’s time to move on.”

Or, if you don’t want the ghost gone, just a little quieter at night or out of your bedroom, you could set up wards or activity-dampeners around specific spaces. Choose ingredients and spells that protect against unwanted spirits or just unwanted activity. Keep it activated all day long or just at night while you’re trying to sleep.

Thanks for Reading!

Posts like this are usually put on my Ko-Fi as exclusives first, but since the questions in this one came from Tumblr, I decided to post it in both places at once! (:

With that said, if you did enjoy this post, consider throwing a couple dollars at my tip jar. Tips, commissions, and shop purchases get you 30 days of access to my entire backlog of exclusive posts and upcoming ones. Monthly members get continuous access plus extra benefits! All support helps me keep the lights on, so it's very much appreciated.

If you've got Ghost Questions, shoot 'em my way! My inbox is open.

[letmeoutofthebasementt]

Hyunjin in relationships

So, right off the bat, Hyunjin can definitely be prone to using certain...Tricks in relationships? This is the real pisces man energy tbf. But he can be prone to manipulation to get certain outcomes from things in the relationship. Like, he may be prone to playing the victim or withholding information from his partner that he knows his partner will dislike. He'll drop hints and do certain things to get what he wants from his partners. He can also try and adopt certain behaviors or traits he knows his partner likes/of people his partner is close to.

It's never for malicious reasons, moreso trying to...Keep the peace, I guess? Trying not to get his partner mad at him, and trying to keep his partner happy and content, but the manipulation aspect still isn't very good. With that being said, it's also something that can be broken in a sense? Like if his partner calls him out and makes him realize it's not something healthy to do in a relationship then he'll definitely make that attempt to stop.

He likes planning things for him and his partner to do. Like he'll plan out these grand plans for him and his partner to do, and all these things he wants to get them/do for them. Like the type to take his partner out on these really well-thought-out very personal dates.

He both does and doesn't like making decisions about the relationship. Like he likes the fact that his partner may trust him enough to let him decide on big things or even little things in the relationship, but he's also afraid he won't really get it right, and doesn't want to disappoint his partner.

He can also be mildly controlling though? Not in a major or bad way, but he wants certain things done a certain way and if they aren't he's convinced hell will freeze over. He also wants the best for his partner, so a lot of the time he'll try to give advice when unprompted? But again, it's something he'd work on if his partner wanted him to.

He's very happy when he's with his partner. Like, when he's with his partner he's all smiles and adoring looks. It's almost like he worships the ground his partner walks on. He wants to celebrate every little thing they do, because to him all of it is absolutely magnificent, and he tries to be very positive in his partner's life.

His partner is nervous about a job interview? He's their professional hype man, hyping them up at home and talking to them on the way there about how he's sure they'll do good. His partner doesn't get the job? Clearly whoever chose not to hire them doesn't have good decision-making skills.

He's pretty much blind to his partner's faults. If there's an issue, it's obviously his fault. His partner is a fucking psycho? Well, there's more psycho people out there, and they can work past it. Highly delusional.

He especially likes when his partner succeeds though. He feeds off it almost. Because he knows that they'll get the recognition they deserve, and if they don't...More of an excuse to celebrate them. He's happy when his partner is happy, and sad when they're sad.

He hates conflicts though. He avoids them like the plague. Which is interesting, because I can definitely see him with somewhat of a temper. But he's the kind to just shut up and ignore it when his partner makes him angry, if at all. He can have a temper with other people, but with his partner? Non-existent. His partner could literally verbally assault him and he wouldn't say anything back because he doesn't want to rock the boat or risk losing them.

This is definitely where the aforementioned manipulation can come in. Like his partner is screaming at him and then here come the crocodile tears, or even real tears because let's be real here he's very sensitive, because he just wants it over with.

He hates arguing about things. His mentality is more like: "Well, we're different in this aspect so why can't we just respect that? I don't want to fight. Can't we just agree to disagree?"

He has a horrible track record with relationships, especially when it gets to the point of like...Domesticity. Probably because of the avoidance of fights. There are bound to be fights in relationships, but he still fights for his life to avoid them. They also just make him very emotional, and he's a very sensitive person who can't handle being screamed at.

It also doesn't help that, like I said, he's highly delusional. He expects perfection from his partners, and he also is highly delusional, so if his partner somehow manners to shatter this like...Delusion he has, or his image of their perfection (Though the image of perfection part is hard because his partner could run a man over and in his mind the man deserved it) he's just highly turned off by it. Plus he gets the ick very easily early on.

I'm also getting that he's HIGHLY turned off by his partner being like "Desperate" or wanting him too much. Honestly, all this combined probably means he attracts very toxic people who don't give a shit about him. And like I said, he adopts traits from his partners, so it wouldn't be a stretch to say he picked up that manipulation from all his manipulative partners in life. He probably thinks it's normal since it's always happening to him. Either that or that's just how he is, I dunno. That's my inference.

I'm getting a very traditional vibe here. Not in a sense of like, "Oh I need a woman who's a submissive little doormat", but rather he likes to take care of his partner. He likes to make sure his partner can lean on him, and doesn't want for anything or have any worries. And trust me, he has MONEY so he can do that. Like he spoils his partner to no end. You know Captain-Save-A-Hoe? That's literally Hyunjin. Like the end part in particular is SO Hyunjin. (He may attract gold-diggers because of this though.)

Fuck that what they talkin' about I save a hoe Yeah baby, what's up you wanna get your nails done? Come on let's go down to Lee and Kim Nail's, yeah We can get your nails done, get your hair done What about your kids? How many kids you got? Two? Oh, that's cool, yeah, we can go feed and cloth them kids We can go down and get the hookup at Durant Square Yeah baby, I do anything for ya Want you phone turned on? I can get it turned on to my name Matter of fact I get you a cellular phone and a pager We can get that package deal down there at Cellular One Baby, I'm, I'm here for you, I got you

Also, that's ANOTHER thing. He's def the type who you could baby trap with kids that aren't even his. Like you can have a five-year-old when he gets with you but he'll stay no matter what because he doesn't want your kid to be without any type of father figure since his partner is a hoe. (Same thing happened to a friend of mine who’s like…WAY too empathetic) Which is frankly WILD.

It’s also kind of like how Hyunjin let Felix use his card and (To my knowledge/memory) didn’t seem very mad when he full on lost it

But we're getting off track here.

He also probably wants to have a familiar family structure in the future. Him, his spouse, two kids, and a dog with a white picket fence and a nice little SUV. Obviously not that exactly, but to really put it in perspective.

He's also the type who bends to his partner's every whim in both a good and bad way. His partner jumps and he doesn't even ask how high he just fucking ascends. No hesitation. He's definitely the type who'd be easy to just...Use in relationships, and he'd let you because at least he has a use. (This is making me a wee bit sad.)

He also probably tries to emulate his parent's relationship. Granted, it was probably a good example, but he also probably thinks that anything that strays from that is inherently bad. (Though he'd internalize that.)

That's another thing. I can see him being very critical about his partners but idealistic at the same time, and internalizing all of that.

He works really hard for his relationship to work. He pushes through anything that happens, and works like his life depends on it to make it through, and there's that like diligence here. It's both a good and bad thing. Like his partner could be BEATING ON HIM and he'd still be trying to work it out with that "I can fix them" mentality.

When he's with someone, they become his entire life. Like i'm talking he neglects his relationships with his friends/family because he's pouring his all into his relationship, and when it falls apart he falls apart. He'd even cut off friends if he feels like his partner dislikes them. Because he feels like that's what he has to do.

Odd little detail, but he's probably going through a breakup right now, actually, or it's actively ending. So that's...

In relationships, I see him being very very insecure. (Even though he's Hwang motherfucking Hyunjin) Like i'm talking, he's very easily jealous and is convinced his partner is going to trade him in for a better model if he does one thing wrong. He holds his partners to high standards, but also convinces himself he's not good enough for them or enough for them. But he never voices this. He pretends to be all confident and secure, but really he's out here having a mini panic attack if his partner laughs at the joke of another guy a little too hard because he's convinced his partner is about to leave him for someone funnier or smarter or nicer. And then he mentally spirals while outwardly seeming like he's perfectly fine, and all of a sudden he's convinced his partner is going to dump him any second.

He's probably been cheated on a lot. And by a lot, I mean A LOT. His exes were also probably very...Verbally abusive? Maybe physically, but definitely verbally abusive. (I feel so bad for Hyunjin) and I can probably count on one hand the amount of partners he's had that were ACTUALLY into him. (Not even in love with him, just into him.)

Poor baby

He moves fast in relationships. Like, i'm talking if his partner proposed on the first date he'd say yes and get married the next. Like, he just decides "Yeah, this is my person. I want them, i'll have them. They're mine." And then BOOM he's asking them out and they're together.

He moves quickly in relationships, but also moves on just as fast. Breakups absolutely WRECK him, but he moves onto the next best thing in like half a business day or something. He's a quick mover. With that being said he also has a bad habit of going back to his shittiest of shitty exes if they so much as blink at him.

So, these two flew out of the deck together. (The fast moving and the next section), so it's safe to say they work hand in hand.

He ignores his intuition and pushes it down. He listens to his heart, and nothing else. He also listens even more to his delusions. His delusions mask anything. His partner could murder someone and he'd find a way to spin it in his head like they're the victim. (I wouldn't be surprised if he's held someone down while they're in jail because he's that type)

Unconsciously, he pushes down any kind of red flag he gets. Like, my partner just squeezed Bangchan's ass? Well, clearly that's an issue with me. I caught my partner cheating? Clearly I was lacking. My partner just got arrested for shoplifting? Well, they shouldn't have made the clothes so expensive. My partner is mooching off of me? Well, i'm being useful.

This has been genuinely saddening to make, but yeah, that's the conclusion of this reading. Someone check on my man Hyunjin.

Astrological ver.

[seeingivy]

lacy, oh lacy

actor!eren x f!reader

**part of my method acting series

content: oopsie. mentions of blood/injury. I think drinking is like briefly mentioned at one point.

an: ok. ok. the song line up in this one is so random i swear.

songs mentioned: peace by taylor swift, city of stars by ryan gosling and emma stone, promiscuous by nelly, lacy by olivia rodrigo

previous part linked here

--

You return home and stay there for an entire month, despite protests from Danny and Sareen. But anytime they try to push back, you remind them. 

Your older brother split his head open because someone threw a brick through his window. Because of a situation they got you involved in. 

Granted, they’re not fully to blame since you did agree to it, but Levi and Hange vehemently disagree. The two of them were very passionate about the fact that managers have a responsibility to protect their artists and the fact that Danny and Sareen even asked you to do something like this has them fuming. And by them, you mean Levi. He yelled at them on the phone after the pictures dropped. 

Regardless, your contract with them won’t be over until the end of the year. The only way you can terminate is if you break the deal with the record company, but then you have to promise them majority royalties that you make with any other songs you release until the two years are up. 

Which isn’t bad. You could just not write music for two years. But there’s some sense of loyalty, a need to maintain face so someone else does sign with you later on, you’ve proved you’ll be loyal. And that your records won’t suffer because of internal politics. 

But for now, all you’re focused on is Colt and Falco. 

Falco, who is quite literally a human cat (in the cute way, not the Catoru Gojo way), is currently nestled up in your lap and fast asleep. After two hours of playing Rocket League, which you actually suck at, and then another two hours of arguing about how stupid the game is (cars playing soccer???), he finally passed out. 

Colt knocks, the scar along his hairline bright red, as he hands you a bowl of cereal and settles onto your bed with his laptop. Which he’s been doing often lately - lingering around in your room, never leaving you alone. Hovering. 

He’s applying for summer internships, because apparently that’s a thing that normal people and not celebrities do. Not that you would know anything about that. 

“Thanks Colt.” 

He gives you a hum as he types away on his laptop, his jaw clenched in concentration. But all you can do is stare at that bright red line near his golden blonde hair and how angry it looks. There’s four sets of stitches in place, the area around the entire mark so pink and swollen. And he’s blinking too hard, eyes squinting at the laptop even though the brightness is all the way down. Meaning, his head is still hurting. You make a mental note to call the doctor again tomorrow. 

“Y/N.” 

“What?” 

“Quit staring.” 

“I’m not staring. And stop being so loud, Coco is sleeping.” you whisper. 

“Were you born yesterday? He’d sleep through the apocalypse if he had to.”

You bring your hand down to Falco’s hair, soft under your touch, as he snores into your legs. 

“Not lately. Y-yesterday, he came into my room crying in the middle of the night. Said he had a nightmare of glass shattering but it was just someone parking across the street.” 

Colt looks over, his glasses resting against his nose, and gives Falco a worried look. 

“He just- he was there when it happened, that’s all.” Colt murmurs, voice all quiet.

“You never told me what did happen.” 

Colt closes the screen of his laptop and sets the computer in between you, as he readjusts on his side. His hand is now in Falco’s hair, making a mess of his already matted hair. 

“I-I was sitting in your room.”  

“Huh? Why?” 

“I do that when I miss you. Just sit in here, with Chelsea and all these god awful posters you have.” 

You smile, reaching forward to squeeze his hand which he rolls his eyes at. 

“You’re cute. You miss me?” 

“Shut the fuck up.” 

“Okay, Jesus.” 

“Falco came to sit with me too. Also, he totally ate chocolate on your bed and spilled some on the carpet.” 

“Remind me to kill him when he wakes up. Is that what’s under that god awful rug you guys put in here?” you respond, grating your teeth. 

He ignores the comment all together and keeps going. 

“I kept getting a lot of texts from my classmates and stuff like that, like a few hours after. About the pictures of you and the rumors and all that. And I called you and Eren picked up and he told me about how you came to him, all bloody and cold. He told me that you were finally sleeping so he didn’t wake you. Said to call him back if I needed something.” 

Sweet, sweet Eren. 

“And then I heard it. This rustling, by the side doors. Now, I know that Sandra putting the trash cans back is really loud from your room, but it was Friday. Trash day is on Tuesday. So I peeked my head out the window to see what the noise was and that’s when they threw the brick. It went through the glass and hit me.” 

You clench his hand, which he shakes his head at. He’s rubbing small circles into your skin as he keeps going, his voice so hollow it bothers you. 

“I fell over. Started bleeding onto your carpet and Falco finally noticed. And, and he was holding my head trying to stop the bleeding. He figured it was the right thing to do after how much Grey’s Anatomy you’ve forced him to watch. Mom and Dad came in and I told them to call Eren and not you, because you were probably still asleep. Eren sent us a security detail super fast, he said it’s the one he’s been using since he was a kid so we can trust them. They got here in like twenty minutes and did the stitches on me.” 

You look at him and he wraps his arms around you, Falco meshed in between the two of you. And you stay that way for a while, in each other's embrace, as the guilt sits with you. And when Colt falls asleep too, you reach for your notebook and scribble the lyrics down. 

As long as danger is near And it's just around the corner, darling 'Cause it lives in me No, I could never give you peace

You slide out of their embrace, leaving the two of them tangled on your bed as you hike your knees to your chest and sit on the floor to write properly. And when you lift the rug on the ground out of curiosity and piece it all together - that they’re covering up the dark, brown mark of Colt’s blood on your carpet, you keep writing. 

I’ll give you my sunshine, give you my best But the rain is always going to come if you’re standing with me  Would it be enough if I could never give you peace? 

Your phone buzzes three times and you reach for it, sliding it open to read the notification. 

eren: attachment, two images 

eren: saw you earlier today. ur face card is insane. 

You open up the picture, one of him and Lana in Los Angeles with a billboard of you in the back. You had seen them on Twitter, Spotify putting up big pictures of the Ribbons album cover, with Multi-Platinum in shiny letters right next to it. 

The first picture is of Eren and Lana blowing kisses towards the billboard of you and the second is Eren choking Lana a few seconds after. The photos are live, so you hold down and watch Eren and Lana move in the picture, Eren’s laugh coming through. 

you: please don’t choke my wife. she’s too hot to die young. 

eren: i hate you guys. i really do. 

you: are you jealous? 

eren: you were mine first >:P

eren: how’s falco? he hasn’t responded to my text since yday :/ 

you: please stop texting my thirteen year old brother. you’re such a loser. 

you: idk. he had a nightmare last night about what happened. i don’t think he’s taking it too well. 

eren: it’s hard. he’s still so little. how’s colt?

you: his cut looks like it hurts and he keeps squinting at his computer still. i feel like he’s trying to put on a brave face for me or something. 

eren: he’s older than you and he’s always taken care of you. he’s going to do that still, and you should just let him. how are you? 

You pause. 

You’re sick to your stomach. Because all you’ve been able to do is read what people say about you online. And what gets you, is that everyone thinks you’re so fake. And you think so hard, read so much into what they’re saying, that you almost start thinking it’s true. 

Is the “I’m a small town Canadian girl an act?” You haven’t lived here in years. And you can’t say you’re not famous anymore  - because you’ve literally broken records before, multiple times over. And you’re not really a fraud anymore, despite the fact that you still feel like one. You fake relationships, your friends don’t like you, and…and…..

You’re fake. Your mistakes are on display and some people think you deserve to die for it. 

eren: where’d you go?

you: sorry. im trying my best to hold on. i was just writing a song. 

eren: LEMME SEE. 

you: no. 

eren: LET ME SEE. 

You take a picture of the lyrics, messily scribbled in your book and send him a picture. And then nearly a minute later, Eren’s name is flashing across your screen and he’s calling you. You quickly walk into Falco’s room and take a seat by his little balcony, sliding the call open. 

“Hi Eren.”

“Oh, Y/N. Sweetheart.” 

And at the sound of him calling you that, of him calling you sweetheart still, has tears burning down your face and tiny sobs leaving your mouth. 

“If the rain is always going to come if I’m standing with you, I’ll just hold an umbrella.” 

“Eren.” 

“That’s how they feel about it too. Both of them. I know it’s different when it’s me because I understand, because we’re used to this, but they love you. You are enough for them, even if you come with this thing behind you. That you can’t control, mind you.” 

“I know that, Eren. But I want them to have that, I want their lives to be peaceful and I want Falco to sleep through the night without waking up. I don’t want to give Colt to get hurt because of me-” 

“Every time I call them, all I hear is them worried about you. That you’re going to pull away from them, because you’re scared of hurting them. And-and I told you how much it sucks when you’re on the other side of that. Granted, Zeke’s a sick fuck who did it to mess with me but…please don’t do that to Colt or Falco. You’re going to actually hurt them if you do that. Pull away.”  

You pause, taking in Eren’s words. Eren and Zeke. Zeke got canceled and stopped talking to Eren all together. Insulted him, made fun of him, and didn’t say anything at all. And, and it hurt him so bad that when Eren told you, that he was crying. 

No. You’re not doing that to Falco or to Colt. God forbid they feel like they’re unlovable because you can’t let them in.

“You-you’re right, Eren. Thanks. That-that actually helps.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah. I-I didn’t even realize. I forgot that this has happened to you. Are-are you okay? I know this type of thing can be triggering, I should have asked before.” you respond. 

He’s quiet. 

“Eren?” 

“Yeah. It-it wasn’t easy.” 

“I’m sorry. I should’ve-” 

“No, no. I don’t mean like, it wasn’t easy and you shouldn’t have come to me. It was more…eye-opening I guess. It hadn’t happened in so long that I forgot about it. It was a harsh reality check when it was you of all people knocking on my door. I hate that I can’t protect you from these types of things.” 

“I’m sorry, Eren. You-” 

You pause. What do you say? What do you say to him when this is all he’s known? All he’ll ever know? And when you know all too well that there really is nothing he can do? 

“You don’t have to say anything, Y/N. Knowing you’re here with me is enough.” 

Fucking mind reader. You hate it when he does this. 

“God. Quit reading my mind.” 

“Can’t help it. I know you like the back of my hand. And I am saying that in earnest. This shit sucks, I’ve dealt with it forever. But you make things easy. Your presence is enough comfort, okay?” 

There’s a beat on the phone call. He doesn’t speak and you don’t either. And you can feel your cheeks burning. 

“Eren?” 

“Hm?” 

“Since when do you call my brothers?” you ask, sniffling. 

“Ah, you know. Since it happened. But in all fairness, Falco calls me first most of the time.” 

“How many times have you talked to him?” 

“Like every day or every other day at least. Kid is so ridiculous.” 

“Eren. You don’t even call me that much.” 

“Do you want me to?” 

“No, it’s not the same if I have to ask you to do it. And plus, your new best friend is probably going to get all mad at me.” you tease, trying not to laugh. 

“Oh, don’t be like that, sweetheart. I’ll call you more, yeah?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Don’t say yeah like that.” 

“Like what?” 

“God, Y/N. Quit flirting with me or I’m going to fall in love with you.” 

Your heart does a somersault, a cartwheel, a back handspring, and everything in between. Eren throws blankets over your barbed wire and shamelessly flirts with you after like it’s nothing. 

--

The song comes out in the middle of your preliminary press tour for Ten Things I Hate About You and instantly becomes a hot topic the interviewees focus on. You’ve been stuck working all day. You can’t even comment on whether or not the song is about you if you wanted to. 

Historia released her latest single, for her new and upcoming album, called Lacy. And everyone thinks the song is about you, that it’s a response to dorothea. And when you get home from the warm lights nearly cooking you on the stage, you immediately run and pull up the video on your computer, Yuuta and Rika taking residence in your room while you do. 

The music video is simple, a black and white video of Historia and Eren in a recording studio, singing the song. Eren’s nimble hands are plucking the strings of the guitar and Historia’s sweet, soft voice is carrying the vocals. 

Ooh, I care, I care, I care Like perfume that you wear, I linger all the time Watching, hidden in plain sight And ooh, I try, I try, I try But it takes over my life, I see you everywhere The sweetest torture one could bear

You keep listening, focusing intently on how anyone could even connect the song to you. Granted, from what you’re gathering, the song is about someone Historia knows that she idolizes, focuses on so much that it makes her feel bad about herself. Like an obsession. 

You are put into constant competition with each other, down to the time your records come out. People make it a point to comment on who would become a triple threat first - her or you - or pigeon hole the tiniest details into some big feud between the two of you. The only time your song leaves the #1 spot on the top of the charts is when Historia releases a new one, the only time her movie falls in popularity is because yours comes out. 

But that doesn’t mean it’s about you. 

Ooh, I care, I care, I care Like ribbons in your hair, my stomach's all in knots You got the one thing that I want Ooh, I try, I try, I try Try to rationalize, people are people But it's like you're made of angel dust

You freeze. That’s where the connection comes in. The ribbons in your hair. Not only is your record literally called Ribbons, but the entire tour, press, even the cover of the album is you with varying colors of ribbons in your hair. 

If that’s true, then…Historia stopped talking to you because of it? Because people pit her against you one too many times and it makes her feel bad about herself? You reach for your phone. 

you: eren. 

eren: y/n. what can i do you for?

you: is lacy about me? 

eren: just saw ur lip sync battle with sukuna. i’m inconsolable. 

He’s changing the subject. Though, you were waiting for him to bring that up. Your final stop on the press tour before finishing and returning to filming was doing the infamous lip sync battle - with you and Sukuna against Yuuta and Rika. And in true Yuuta and Rika fashion, they did a super lovey dovey rendition of City of Stars, from La La Land. Which only made it funnier that you and Sukuna just sang Promiscuous and made it rain dollar bills on each other. 

you: i’m sure your heart is very broken. but quit changing the subject. 

eren: it is. i’ll never love again. 

you: eren. answer the question. you know how much this entire hisu thing has bothered me. 

eren: i’m sorry, sweetheart. you know i can’t talk about things historia told me in confidence, as much as i want to. 

you: eren. are you seriously telling me that historia stopped being my friend because OTHER PEOPLE were comparing us? that’s so stupid. 

eren: don’t pigeon hole the lyrics. you don’t even know if it’s about you. and even if it is, give historia some slack. this entire thing we do is complicated. and she’s always felt things so deeply. 

you: you’re a traitor. you’re supposed to be on my side. 

eren: sometimes being the devil's advocate is being on your side. 

you: don’t quote me back to me. being annoying isn’t a good look on you. 

You throw your phone back and replay the song. Four times, each time doing exactly what Eren told you not to do and pigeonholing the lyrics. But you keep going over it in your head. That if it really is about you, then the way you are, the success you have is so obsessive for Historia that it made her start hating herself. That she feels like she can’t compare, so much so, that she’d avoid you all together. 

It stings. You were girls together. 

The last time you talked to Historia was months ago, when you were still taking your month off and staying with Colt and Falco. And even that was an exception to her normal radio silence and the miles she put between you two. 

The call came in the middle of the night, right after you made sure Falco and Colt were both asleep. What you were expecting was Eren - who was too overprotective and kept calling to check if you were okay. But instead, Historia’s name and the picture of the two of you - fast asleep on the couch on the Attack on Titan set - was flashing across the screen. 

“Y/N?”

“Hisu? Is it really you.” 

She awkwardly laughs. 

“Yeah. Hi. I was just calling to check up on you. I would take time off to come see you like everyone else but I’m stuck on set.” 

“No problem. I-I’m staying home anyways. With Coco and Colt.” 

“That’s nice. I’m glad, you-you never were one to take a break.” 

You pause. 

“So. Um-” 

“You’re okay, right? I-I saw the pictures. The entire thing is really shitty and I’m sorry it happened to you.” 

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay. How are you?” 

“I’m about to go on release my album in a few months. Then go on tour. ” 

“Yeah, I’ve been watching all the press. You’re amazing, I-I’m really excited to listen, yeah? I’ve always been your number one fan.” 

There’s a beat. She doesn’t respond right away and the silence sticks in your mind, even if it’s only for a few seconds. 

“Thanks, Y/N. You’ve always been really sweet.” 

“You too, yeah?” 

“Listen. I have to go. But take it easy, yeah?” 

“Okay. Bye Hisu.” 

It’s static. 

You reach for your phone and pull up the chat between you and her and text. 

you: just listened to lacy, hisu. another hit, once again. 

And after you can’t help but think about it. Are these the compliments that hit like bullets on skin? She never responds. You take that as a yes. 

--

You stare at the screen, eyes focused on the texts. That have been bothering you for a few days. Five texts, all left unanswered by Eren. 

Your novelty is wearing off. Eren’s done talking to you. 

You’re making it up. You’re making it up and it’s only because you’re so used to his quick witted responses that it’s bothering you. That he hasn’t responded yet. You read them over again, double, triple checking what you said. 

you: saw this ugly toad ceramic at the store. reminded me of you. 

you: i’ll buy it for you. 

you: i think jean is going to propose to mika. and i know they’ve literally been together since we were fifteen but we are ONLY TWENTY TWO. 

you: it’s been a while since we’ve seen each other!!! 

you: armin and i were thinking of coming down for your birthday! meet all ur lil set friends and see connie again and stuff :’) 

It sits with you in a weird way. Because you know that he responded to Armin an hour ago, about his birthday. And said that it was best that you both didn’t come just because of how busy it was, that he’d probably only get to spend an hour with you guys. 

Armin is insistent on going anyway. And you just miss Eren. Sukuna pads into the room and finds you like this, with your phone flat on your bed and the way you’re leaning over the covers and staring intently at it. 

“Just climb in, why don’t you?” he mutters, falling flat on your bed. 

“Hello to you too. Why are you in my trailer?” 

“Bored. Lonely. Horny. Take your pick.” 

You roll your eyes and side shuffle to make room for him, his stupid musky smell enveloping the air. What you were expecting to be an unpleasant co-star was anything but, because you and Sukuna have slowly been sweeping hearts. 

From the way you guys argue during press, how Sukuna shamelessly flirts with you, to your shared need to fight with each other - you’re quickly ramping up the popularity around the rom-com you aren’t even done filming. 

“So. What the fuck are you staring at?” 

“Nothing.” 

“Talk.” he says sternly, lifting his hand to knock on your head. 

Absolute caveman. 

“Can I ask you a weird question?” 

“Sure.” 

“How are you so blunt?” 

He turns over, a look of confusion spread on his face. You follow suit and turn over too, eyes focused on the tattoos that litter his skin. All the way around his neck and his arms and on instinct, you nervously reach for your own. 

“Are you tired of being a pushover, Y/N?” 

“What? I’m not a pushover, I’m just-” 

You stop. Maybe not the word you would use, people pleaser seems more like the explanation for it. Maybe if you cared less about Eren, about what he thought of you, it would be easier. Maybe if you wanted him less it would be easier to be his friend.  

“I’m going to tell you something and you can’t repeat it to anyone, doll. I’m trusting you here, okay?” 

“Okay. I promise I won’t tell anyone.” 

“I learned quickly that you can’t let anyone have a pull on you. Because when you do, you’ll do anything. Believe anything. And it’ll be your downfall if you let it.” 

You take in his words. And he doesn’t talk for a while, eyes focused on the brown ceiling of your trailer. 

“I went a long time without doing what I felt was right. What people were pulling me to do this and that, what I had to do. And when I reached a certain point, I didn’t even know who I was anymore. Hundreds, thousands of people loved me and I didn’t even know who I was looking at in the mirror.” he says. 

“Well, I hardly doubt it was thousands, Sukuna. You’re quite irritating.” 

He brings his hand down on your face, laughing. His face is uncharacteristically soft and he resembles Yuuji too much. Granted, they are fucking twins but the expression - it’s one you’ve only seen reflected on his face and never Sukuna’s. 

“You’re tolerable when you’re like this, Y/N. You’re always such a pain in the fucking ass.” 

“You’re normal like this. It’s nice. You should do it more often.” 

There’s a beat. And he’s thinking. 

“Being blunt is the only way I’m sure. That I’m being myself, because that’s what’s coming to mind. And in a place where almost everyone is lying, trying to pit everyone else against each other and bring them down for entertainment, honesty is the only way I make it out.” 

You nod, sinking in his words. Thinking back to Sukuna, when you met him. When he was on again and off again with Hyla, how he said that he would just get pulled so deeply into things that he didn’t even realize what was going on till he was out of it. That it was blinding.

“So what was bothering you?” 

“Ah. You know, the whole Historia thing.” 

He laughs. 

“Lacy, oh lacy. Skin like puff pastry.” 

You snort. 

“I can’t even tell if that’s a compliment or not. Aren’t puff pastries really dry and crumbly?” 

“I think she meant to say pasty. Like a ghost.” he responds. 

“I don’t know, Sukuna. I guess I feel bad. That we’re always in competition and that it seems like my mere existence just makes it hard for her.” 

“Y/N.” 

“Hm?” 

“You know what Historia does when she puts you on a pedestal?” 

“What?” 

“Gives herself no room to stand next to you. And leaves you up there alone.” he says, the tone in his voice definitive. 

You pause. 

“When the fuck did you become so wise?” 

“Beauty and brains, Y/N. There isn’t a thing I can’t do.” he responds, giving you a stupid smirk. 

--

The pictures drop on Twitter three weeks later, on your last week of filming, and give you a bittersweet reaction. The first one, when you see it, makes your heart drop. Maybe even break a little. 

Eren and Hyla, all curled up on a yacht kissing each other. Eren looks great, phenomenal even, and people make no point to keep that information to themselves. He’s getting more and more fit as time goes on, the stupid sunglasses he’s wearing, and his hair long again - people are going feral for Eren Jaeger. And Hyla is Hyla - gorgeous, brilliant, and beautiful. 

Granted, this entire feeling is on you for making the assumption. That Eren taking care of you after the Ricky thing, that you guys constantly text again like you used to, is any inclination that he likes you. Especially when he started slipping away. 

It’s simple. Eren’s your best friend. Nothing more, nothing less. You dropped the ball and let him go and now he’s someone else’s. 

You’re fish together because you’re friends, because you get each other. And that alone is a testament to your relationship. That it can’t be replaced. 

But it doesn’t make it sting any less. Especially when he gives you no warning beforehand. 

But in a nice, karmic way, the second picture makes it all better. It’s Eren throwing up over the side of the boat. Right after kissing Hyla. 

Eren and his sensitive stomach save the day. He’s trending for both how great he looks and for how ridiculous it is that he literally vomited after kissing his girlfriend. 

“Sukuna. Come here.” 

“Hm? What do you want?” 

“Let’s send him a picture.” you say, pointing at the pictures. 

Sukuna, in true Sukuna fashion, has printed out both pictures and framed them for the trailer. 

For Sukuna, the entire ordeal is priceless. Because Eren and Hyla being together is funny, but Hyla being so atrocious that Eren throws up after they kiss is even funnier. He’s already tweeted so much about it that everyone’s dying over Sukuna and how petty he is. Truly, the only person who could get away with this. 

You debate addressing the elephant in the room with Eren. Granted, calling a model like Hyla an elephant is almost ironic but, you digress.

If it was a big deal, he would give you a warning. So you shouldn't. But maybe you should tell him you don't care and that it's okay that he's with her.

What are you saying? He doesn't need your permission. Ignore, ignore, ignore.

You put the frame against the mirror, making sure Eren can see you and Sukuna laughing in the reflection as you take a picture of the frame. And the fact that Sukuna’s not wearing a shirt, that he’s leaning all over you, should trigger some type of reaction. Or you at least hope it will. 

“Give him hell, doll. Stupid prick.” he says, shuffling away back to the other side of his trailer. 

You give him a smile as you slide open your phone, sending him the picture. And then you follow and plop onto Sukuna’s bed, which has him nearly trying to cut off your circulation by smothering a pillow in your face. 

A gentleman. 

you: eren jaeger, the man that you are 

eren: FUCKING STOP. JEAN IS ALREADY DOGGING ME ON TWITTER. 

you: an instant classic. you are never living this down, my friend. 

you: the fact that connie has said nothing yet is almost concerning. this has him written all over it. 

eren: tell sukuna i will kill him. he’s got his dirty paws ALL OVER YOU TOO

you: possessive much? 

eren: i am a simple man. and you two together has been a sore spot for me since i was sixteen. there’s only so much i can stomach. 

you: protect your peace, king. this movie is not going to be easy for you. 

eren: WHY?????

you: has a lot of smooching. and you KNOW sukuna gets carried away. 

eren: blocked. I hate you. 

eren: never talk to me again. i refuse to come to the premiere. 

you: hehe. 

eren: do NOT hehe me. im going to cry myself to sleep. do you relish in my pain? 

you: a little bit. sweet dreams!!! 

eren disliked a message. 

Sukuna leans over and reads the messages as Yuuji and Rika walk in, with Yuuta and Annie in tow. You give them all a smile as they fall onto the bed with you two, stuck in their own conversations. Annie and Rika are talking about Rika’s birthday that’s coming up and Yuuji’s too busy trying to swipe Annie’s phone, for god knows what reason. 

“This is insane. He’s all but fucking another girl on a yacht but talking to you like this? After ignoring you too?” Sukuna mutters, glaring at you. 

“It’s not like that. We-we’re just friends. And it’s funny to joke about it.” 

“You’re just friends. Yeah, and I’m the Thirteenth Disciple of Jesus, Y/N.” he responds, bitingly sarcastic. 

“You and Judas would get along.” you respond. 

“You’re being stupid. I’m not buying you ice cream when you come to me crying when he stops texting you.” 

“You would. Begrudgingly, probably while hurling a bunch of insults at me, but you would.” 

He reaches forward and flicks your forehead. A telltale sign that even he knows he would, because he isn’t rejecting the notion. Yuuta scoots over and flicks Sukuna’s hand off, giving you a smile. 

“What are you arguing about over here?” he asks, giving you a warm smile. 

“Eren.” 

“Oh, I just saw the pictures. Poor guy.” Yuuta says, an awkward hand rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Yuuta. Got a question.” you say, propping up on your elbows. 

You explain the whole situation to Yuuta. That you and Eren dated. And then you didn’t. And then he saved you from Ricky, that you guys were texting again, but he’s dating Hyla now, full on and out in the open. And then let him read the texts and ask him. 

“Now tell me, Yuu. Who is in the wrong?” 

“Sukuna.” 

You give Yuuta a glimmering smile as Sukuna rolls his eyes, reaching forward to headbutt both of you down into the mattress. You both protest and smack him off, giving him the finger. 

“The only person on this Earth who is more goo goo ga ga and down horrendous than you is Yuuta. You picked a biased person to intervene.” he says, seething. 

“Did not. I don’t even know what you’re talking about.” 

“Oh, quit playing dumb, doll. Yuuta and Maki are worse than you and Eren. Break up, make up, argue loud as fuck in the middle of the street, just to be kissing in the park the next day.” 

“You just don’t get it. You can’t relate to the situation, Sukuna. Sometimes you just can’t stay away. Have you ever been in love?” 

“Every time I look at you, doll.” 

“Ugh. You’re disgusting.” 

“You love it.” 

The bell rings outside the trailer, signaling the call time for set, and Sukuna makes it a point to give you his warning. 

“You’re treading on thin ice, doll. And when you fall, it’s going to be no one’s fault but your own.” 

“For someone who claims he’s not a disciple of Jesus, you sure like to act self righteous as fuck all the time.” you respond, pushing him into the food cart near the directors chair. 

Sukuna rolls his eyes as he drags you by the arm to your chairs, propped up, as you watch Yuuta and Rika take their marks, with Annie and Yuuji in the back. Sukuna’s glaring at you, bloody murder, unable to drop what he’s talking about. 

“Look. Even for normal people, it’s never a good sign to be friends with your exes. And I bet he’s already being suspicious as fuck, despite the fact that he puts this whole goofy best friend persona on and flirts with you once in a while.” 

“He does not. He-he’s not like that, all calculated and manipulative. You know him, he’s like a walking cheeseball.” 

“He was a walking cheese ball. But at some point, you become the people you surround yourself with.” 

“Okay, Sukuna. I fucking hate it when you’re all cryptic as fuck. You go on and on about how fucked up the people Eren’s around are. But you never once say what they actually do.” 

He frowns, glaring at you. 

“Why do you think Connie and Eren are fighting?” 

You pause, thrown off by the question. 

“Connie and Eren aren’t fighting. They’re like best friends. Connie’s even going to be in his next movie, Sukuna.” 

“You said it yourself. It’s weird that Connie hasn’t commented on Eren’s whole vomit-gate moment. They’re filming a movie together, but they haven’t taken any pictures. And I can bet you ten bucks that Eren hasn’t said shit about him being there.” 

You don’t respond. Because he’s right. Eren hasn’t said anything about being there. And Connie hasn’t even talked to you in weeks. 

“It bothers you, doesn’t it? That he’s pulling away?” 

“Eren isn’t pulling away, Sukuna. He just has a girlfriend, it’s obviously not going to be the same between us as before.” 

“Bullshit. You know he’s pulling away. What does he do? Forget to text back once in a while but then flirt to make it better? Tell you you’re pretty when pictures of him and Hyla drop? You’re ignoring every gut feeling you have about him because you want to keep him around.” 

“Fuck you, Sukuna.” you respond, warm tears filling your eyes. 

This is what you hate about Sukuna. His persistent need to point out things you so blatantly choose to ignore. That he pokes holes in what you and Eren have, valid holes that bother you at night, that only validate what you think is true. 

You need Eren more than he needs you. You like Eren more than he likes you. And he’s going to leave you far behind, at the end of all of this. 

Sukuna reaches forward, fingers swiping the tears off your cheeks as he rolls his eyes. 

“Stop fucking crying.” 

“You’re so rude.” 

“I’m not rude. You’re just a bitch.” 

You smack his face out of your space. 

“When you’re ready for it, I’m here to help you. There’s nothing I do better than revenge, doll.” 

You scoff. 

“Save your unadulterated rage for the camera. And don’t get too excited when I lean in to kiss you.” he responds, tucking your hair behind your ear and giving you a wink as he slides over to his mark. 

You’re going to kill him. 

--

Six weeks of freedom from Sukuna and you’re hiding in the bushes with Armin, Annie, Connie, Sasha, and Marco next to you. Hands locked together as you watch Jean and Mikasa in the distance. And you make your best efforts not to cry, to not fully sob at the second time you’ve been able to witness a love so warm. 

It’s all so soft. So warm, so sweet, so much like Levi and Hange’s vow renewal that it makes your heart swell, to the biggest of shapes, for the two of them. 

Mikasa is getting engaged. Engaged to Jean, who has always been so sure of her. So quick to run to her defense, to love her like it’s his second nature. They’re going to be together, by each other's side, drunk at award shows and holding hands in taxis for the rest of their lives. 

Mikasa is wearing a white dress, soft and willowy, with her low cut Doc Martens. You convinced her that you just wanted to take her out for brunch, drive by the ocean a little bit before you leave town again. Because Jean had approached you, all squirrel like and antsy, and showed you the beautifully ornate ring he had gotten her and asked you to help her. 

And Jean. Sweet Jean, he’s fumbling with the box in the pocket as he talks to her. You can’t hear what they’re saying, but you can quickly tell that Mikasa is comforting Jean. That he’s stumbling over his words, his feelings, but she’s standing there and holding his hand. Walking him through them. 

And then Jean’s on one knee. Smiling up at her so hard he’s squinting, soft tears falling out of his eyes and her surprised expression. And she brings her hand up to her chest, right over her heart and falls to her knees to meet him, the two of them hugging each other so hard that it makes your chest squelch. 

“Crybaby.” Marco mutters, reaching over to swipe your tears. 

“Shut up.” 

You look back at them, at Jean and Mikasa lying down in the grass tangled in each other's arms, and can’t wait any longer. The five of you - Marco, Annie, Armin, Sasha, and you - run up and pile on, the six of you crying in each other's arms, pink faces. Armin snaps a polaroid picture of Jean and Mikasa - her hands wrapped around his face and the softest look on his face when he smiles back at her. And then one of you and Marco crying, holding each other for good measure. 

You reach for Mikasa’s hands the second Jean finally lets her go to hug Armin and Marco and your eyes are positively burning. 

“Oh, Mika. I’m so, so happy for you.” 

She’s crying. Her cheeks are pink, her eyes are red, and she has the full marks of love on her face. The softest kind of love. 

“Thank you, Y/N. You-you’re a treasure. I love you. Thank you for not letting me wear that ugly green dress earlier.” 

You laugh, wrapping your arms around her, and press a kiss to the side of her face. 

Your heart aches. For green eyes, brown hair, and a soft smirk that no one else gets to see. For snarky comments, for shameless flirting, for every hurt feeling in your chest being smoothed over like it was nothing. 

Jean and Mikasa make you long, long so ruefully for this feeling. The way they look at each other, the way he keeps tissues in all his pockets because she gets sniffly outside, how Mikasa is the only person who can handle him. The feeling you used to have. 

You’ve decided then and there. You’re going to get him back. And luckily for you, you’re flying to Seattle and in nine hours you’ll be there with him. On his birthday, with all this love you’re going to share again. 

You’re fish together. You’re not swimming forward without him. 

“Hey. Where’s Con? We should get ready to leave soon.” Armin asks, pointing at his watch. 

You look around at the crowd of you, Marco holding Mikasa’s hand in his as he admires the ring and gives Jean a smile. 

Where is Connie? 

You shrug as you tell Armin to stay, to keep taking pictures of the two of them, as you march around the garden, looking around for him. And you find him, knees hiked to his chest, crouched over with red eyes and a pink nose. You immediately reach for him and place your hand on his shoulder, which he immediately flinches at and then releases.

“Connie?” you ask, caught off guard. 

He relaxes when he realizes it’s just you and aggressively wipes the back of his hand against his nose and smiles. 

“Hey. My bad, they just got me too emotional in there. Fucking saps they are, I just love them so much.” 

“Okay. Con, are you okay? You-you don’t look so good.” 

He smiles again and it doesn’t reach his eyes. He’s sweating and…green. He places his hands against your cheeks and squeezes, his voice soft when he talks. 

“Always the type to worry, aren't you? I promise I’m fine, Y/N. Help me finish packing because I actually didn’t start.” 

“Huh? We leave in like an hour.” 

“Exactly why I need your help!” 

He stands up and pulls you along with him, your arms linked together, as you recruit Armin and Marco to help you pack. And you ignore the feeling, as you climb on the plane, nestled in between Armin and Connie, and focus on the important thing. 

Brown hair, green eyes, and the soft smile. 

You’re getting him back.

--

next part linked here

an, again: guess who is getting blocked on his birthday. eren no middle name jaeger.

taglist:

@k0z3me @kayleegomez @yihona-san06 @bsenpai @sweetenertea @mykyoon @violetmatcha  @rebeccawinters @cutiejg @bokutosthings @bookwrmm @mblrrr @wheredidmycrowngo @somethinginyoureyes7 @chilichopsticks @okaystopwhore @you-always-made-me-blush @itzmeme @firelordazulaaaa @whoami-72 @g-ghostly @intimacywithceline @erensmoodygf @cocomellxn @princess-ackerman @jaegerfiles @cacapeepee @squirrelspoetry @rui-0836 @moonmalice @invisible-mori @sofiasber @bbybeeb @timetobegone @tee4str @ttokki2 @leave-rae-alone @ec3lipsy @officialsimpp. @gojojang @yookayyo @lordbugs @multiplefandomthings @iobeyfandoms @camilo-uwu @justanotherkpopstanlol @mel-star636

[pixiecactus]

i know i sound like a broken record (sorry for being obnoxious, but this is a hyperfixation for me) but gendry is such a child and people just don't seem to see it at all...

i've to admit that the first time i read the books i thought that gendry was a 15 year old, but that still classified as a little child in my mind because i had the "big and mature" age of 16 years old back then, and i swore to myself that i was a completely different person at 15 than at 16, now i just look fondly back to those times and my actual childlike naivety.

now with me going back to read arya's chapters as a 26/27 year old, is just more apparent to me that gendry is a little child still, and i'm pretty convinced that he's even younger than 15 now, i'd say with a lot of confidence that he is surely a year younger than dany in the first book and daenerys was 13 years old in agot and that would make gendry a 12 year old in agot and in my mind.

he has led a difficult life, sure. he was probably an unwanted child and a bastard at that, and let's not forget that he was orphaned at a very young age, i'm pretty sure those facts all together could make a child mature a little bit more quickly than most of his peers.

but if you pay a little bit more attention when reading the books, you can see that, even when he has a lot of streets smarts, gendry is still pretty naive himself. you know, as some children can be and definitely are. and that's when i think that his bold behavior sometimes becomes a bravado most than anything.

i'd dare to say that when gendry involved himself in the arry vs hot pie and lommy fight, he didn't do it because, with him being the closer thing to an adult there, he felt the responsibility to deescalate the situation between some kids, you know, like an adult whose job is supervising children should do, but rather because he's a kid himself that hates bullies because he once was bullied too.

[insert here a parallel between arya and gendry about their sense of justice and morality and how they match]

of course, this post is not trying to convert anyone who believes gendry is 14 in agot, 15 in acok and asos and 16 in affc to the other side... you know, with believing that actually gendry is 12 in agot, 13 in acok and asos and being recently 14 in affc, but let me say that being 16 years old is an important age in the asoiaf universe because that is the canonical age of majority in the books, you can disagree with it or you can agree with it, but the thing is that is there... and if gendry is meant to be 16 years old or even older when brienne meets him in affc, why does brienne, who is an adult herself, describes gendry as a child, the book tells us that he even has "a boy's voice" when he should be classified as a man grown. It’s even said that gendry was younger than the age that renly had when brienne met him (but let’s put a pin on that info, because i’m not really sure myself of renly’s age back then or at all)

but this post is still biased because i’m a gendrya shipper and of course this post is self-indulgent too, like all the posts i make are. i just simply don’t know how to feel when people discard the possibility of gendrya being romantically involved with each other due to their age difference, when from the way i see it, both of them are children. if grrm wanted to show that gendry and arya were obviously in different parts of life due to their age difference, i think he could have written the things that happened at the peach a lot different than what we got in the books. and what we got with that, was gendry rejecting bella’s advances, the older men of the brotherhood insisting to the girls working there to leave the child (gendry) alone, and then later on… don’t pretend we don’t have gendry trying to get under arya's skin and make her jealous when he lies about wanting to sleep with bella on page. and this instance i'd say is an example of gendry lashing out, because he got reminded of the difference in social standing that there's between him and arya.

look, i don’t know how to explain things in english, i’d go as far as to say that i don’t even know how to explain things in my own mother tongue… but i do think that gendry was specifically tailored to be arya’s companion and possibly more, they just complement each other’s personalities so well and i believe that people are choosing to ignore that because of a misconception that gendry is a man grown and arya is a child, when both of them are in fact children and they are meant to be a demostration of first love (and there is a lot of age-gaps relationships that are actually more disturbing in the series as a whole)

as a conclusion, i want to say that gendry is a little guy, who is young in age and not so small in body size, but still a child nonetheless.

[sansacherie]

look. im not saying there isn't some very valid concerns about alicent being raised or that i disagree with them if its proven correct. lord knows the writers don't have a good track record.

but some of y'all still need to be reminded that a trailer isn't the series. we saw 2 minutes in which we only got so much of alicent, it's impossible for them to show everything. and yet some of y'all are talking with such certainty as if you got early access to the episodes and therefore everything you say is absolute truth and not still speculation at this point.

like im sorry but has it occurred to any of y'all that those clips (alicent advising caution, aemond calling her a fool for still loving the enemy- rhaenyra) happens BEFORE blood and cheese??

concerning aemond, i think a really plausible explanation for this scene that we haven't been able to watch the full thing because again it's in a trailer, it's him and ser criston talking about how alicent was in favour of peace talks during the green council and refused to consider the alternative of killing rhaenyra. considering what aemond has just done, of course he's going to be 100+ more defensive. him criticising the peace terms that would have spared both sides and prevented a war would come across as just as bad as him deciding to chase luke on vaghar.

a lot of you also seem to have forgotten that aemond is characterised as "unforgiving" so it doesn't seem surprising to me that he would hate the idea of these peace terms because in his mind rhaenyra does not deserve forgiveness. he's been waiting for viserys to die so he could punish her and her sons. this is very similar to daemon, who was ready to kill every single green during the black council. also note the word "our". people assuming that aemond is only using it in reference to him and ser criston, and yet because he used it the word "our" it's quite possible that he doesn't think his own mother is some double double agent and despite his heavy disagreements with her, he's still including alicent in that because by crowning aegon, alicent has clearly chosen him over rhaenyra.

i want to finish here about aemond by saying how boringly predictable it is that team black are comparing aemonds words about alicent to jace's words about rhaenyra. im sorry but that isn't a fair comparison. jace is talking to a lord (likely cregan stark) whose support he's trying to gain for his mother's cause. he's not going to be bad mouthing or criticising rhaenyra. cregan stark is a STRANGER to him. on the other hand this was a private convo between aemond and ser criston (ser criston looks ready to retire for the night). ser criston is probably one of the few people in the world that aemond trusts and because criston happens to be devoted to alicent and because aemond does love his mother, he feels "safer" making these points to him in PRIVATE rather than trying to publicly undermine her like otto did by keeping in the dark and according to deleted scenes, ready to marry her off AGAIN for allies even though alicent being unaware of all this makes no sense but whatever.

people also making these claims about alicent choosing rhaenyra based off her saying "this senseless war must end." it's so annoying how y'all immediate first conclusion was that alicent was only saying it out of a desire to spare rhaenyra...... as if alicent wanting the war to end couldn't have been about protecting ALICENTS remaining children/grandchildren and the realm at large.... mind you f&b alicent says something very similar which has the exact same point being made. "how many more must die to slake your thirst for venegance?"

[joyswonderland1108]

JK deserves better.

I can't believe i keep on coming back to talk about shitty subjects because this damn fandom can't give the boys a rest.

Feel free to disagree, feel free to fucking block me if you do strongly disagree but a gentle reminder, i am here for the tannies and the tannies only. With that being said, FUCK , and i mean this with all disrespect, them JK solos. Fuck all solos but this post is about JK so imma focus on what is going on.

Honestly i have a lot of shit to say but so little organisation in my head that this post might end up becoming a whole ass mess but bear with me. Now if you really do love JK this post will make a lot of sense for you.

Do i start off again by talking about the "world tour" rumors? Yes, let's do that.

World Tour

I guess i've already mentioned this in previous posts but i also want to add a small detail that JK himself talked about. I feel like there's this obsession with JK doing a world tour that is turning into an entitlement uncaring about JK really.. Army want JK to do a world tour, JK himself talked about it, said many times before that if he was to do a world tour it wouldn't be now, not enough songs, not enough time, he also talked not ONCE not TWICE about wanting to reunite with the boys in 2025.

Now the other detail that i wanted to add was the pressure, whether you like it or not, JK WAS pressured, he was supposed to release an EP but somehow in the process he was pressured to take more and that boy had to fucking record 5 songs in the span of a week, he also had a very condensed time frame to get everything ready to release a full length album, well what turned out to be a full length album. We've all seen it, his schedules were hectic AF to the point where JK looked sick at times in the airport, that boy was so fucking tired, Jimin also expressed concern over his health, and who are we to know better than them? The boys see him and know about him more than we will ever do and even they saw how it was fucking tiring for him.

In Suchwita JK mentioned that while yes a world tour is great but FOR NOW he wants to wrap it up with music shows (You'll have to excuse me i'm a whole mess so i'm not sure where to look for ss of exact moments i'm talking about my files are all messy but you know what i'm talking about.. hopefully) Now.. If and i say IF somehow there is a world tour announcement just know that this is part of the whole pressure. I don't even know how to explain it but if JK was pressured into releasing a full length album when he himself said WAY BEFORE that it would be an EP, then don't be surprised that he'd be pressured to do that damn world tour cause some ARMY can't shut the fuck up for the life of them.

Y'all seem to not give two fucks about this man's health, a world tour means even more hectic schedules for JK, instead of wanting that man to fucking rest, get healthy again, and actually wait for him, give him time to be ready physically and mentally, y'all want to rush him into giving you everything all at once because of your own enjoyment forgetting that he is not a machine, that he is a human being that is bound to break at some point.

You would think that after seeing how Yoongi looked tired af during his tour these people would have mercy on JK but no. And whether we like it or not, JK will have to enlist too and at the very least he should be well rested before starting his MS, burning him out and making him overwork himself just for him to have to do his military service next is actually cruel but let me guess, Army don't give a fuck about this now do they? They're still keeping in mind that baseless theory about JK enlisting way later.

Which takes us to the second point, MS.

Military Service

Just how many fucking times does JK have to tell y'all that he WANTS to reunite with the boys in 2025 for y'all to fucking understand that this is not about YOU it's about JK and his willingness to be with the other members. People just don't seem to realize how freeing it is to put MS behind your back, it's not just for Queer people, even if you're straight MS is very restricting for you so why on earth would JK want to be bound by a restriction for even longer?

And let's just go by these solos logic, JK is still young and doesn't have to enlist now, okay. By the time all the members will be done with their MS, JK will be of an age where he won't be able to postpone his anymore, and the result? All 6 members will be out ready to resume their group activities BUT JK. And then everybody will complain "How dare they resume their activities without their golden maknae" or they'll have to yet again set a hiatus and i don't think a hiatus is the first thing a group is looking for after their MS, a hiatus is the very last thing they think about when planning for a come back after MS.

I don't know if people see any logic in their very selfish thinking or..? Like please, do y'all even listen to JK? Do his words to you mean nothing? Is he just talking in an empty barrel? He has been telling us, not anyone else but US, he wants US to understand but somehow some people just can't seem to grasp at the reality of things. Is it that hard to support him on what he wants?

Moving on to the third point, and again i believe i did talk about this in a previous post or posts too but, those very disgusting song interpretations that for some damn reason is always coming from the hets (with all due respect to the respectful hets out there)

Song Interpretations

When he told Zane that the songs didn't reflect his real life i was wondering.. Did he perhaps see all those disgusting and disturbing interpretations of his previous songs aka Seven and 3D by het Army on Tiktok? It really had me thinking whether he just wanted to mention that because.. or did he really see those damned interpretations and he felt the need to put that in there just in case.

I mean when JK decided to show a more mature side of him, i'm pretty sure his intentions weren't for us to see him as your typical het fuckboy and exactly how is someone singing about sex making him a fuckboy? Since when does having a sex life makes you a fuckboy? Can't people committed to one person not have a sex life or..? Why does this boys always have to come here to clarify things?

Like can't y'all just be normal and at the very least do cute and funny interpretations instead of making it absolutely horrifying and i'm not even going to talk again about the photocards during Music Bank that fucking Tiktok Army gave a vile interpretation to..

The thing is, it doesn't stop at just ARMY there are other people who are as disgusting as some Army really.. Which takes me to my last point and i'm not even gonna say much about it cause this is worthy of a whole ass post that honestly i don't feel too much dedication for to make..

The Acquaintances

Do i have to say again that i'm here for the tannies and the tannies only? Well not just me but many of us are actually, so can some of you PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!! Stop hyping up every single person that in a way or another has had a connection to the boys?

Seeing a damn journalist ditch professionalism and acting like a 12yo stan in the name of JK is just so.. WTF? You know things? Good for you but how about you shut the fuck up and let JK or the company do the announcement. I'm tired of seeing JK come to us everytime looking disappointed that we already know about what he might've been excited to announce to us HIMSELF. It's just so sad to see him go like "Oh i guess you already know.." Like.. No baby we do not please tell us, like PLEASE stop taking the excitement away from him, i would absolutely hate it to want to announce something related to ME just for a damn stranger to do it in my place.

You got the opportunity to work with JK, or as a professional to know things about JK? Amazing! Good for you, but please, it is not your place to be acting like those fake tea accounts on the tl.. Keep it to yourself or at the very least make one good post about it and shut the fucking fuck up until whatever is supposed to come out does then you can hype it up all you want.

Same for anyone who is working with JK, y'all need to stop giving them too much clout because the moment they end up being problematic, know that it is your own damn fault that haters end up coming for JK because y'all can't seem to put a difference between JK and the people who work with him, you always link them together and put them in the same box which ends up being a green light for haters to lump him into the same category as those problematic people.

Yes it is decent to have respect for the people working with the tannies as long as they do deserve that respect, once they show their true colors we do NOT have to keep that respect, now i'm not saying we should fight them but simply there is no need to hype them up. JK is not the people who are working with him and the people who are working with JK are not JK. Stop putting a label on what are those people to JK, Scooter is a whole ass dick but just because he is involved in JK's album it doesn't mean JK is the same as him, this and that are two different things and same for any single person who is working with any member.

We do not have to bootlick people just because they are working with BTS because i repeat the moment these people show their true colors it becomes a whole mess and our boys end up being dragged into a hell fest of hate, UNPROVOKED.

With that being said, please have some respect for JK, hype HIM up, show HIM support and please respect his own decisions, HIS DECISIONS, not someone else's but his.

AND STREAM GOLDEN!!!

[xotication]

☆,

biker! ken hcs! (& car! guy ken cuz why not??)

biker ken

he rides a ninja 400.

before meeting you, he was for sure reckless. but after the two of you got involved with each other, he promised himself he’d be a lil more careful for you

everyone knows riding a motorcycle is dangerous as fuck, so he never wanted to have you worried

sometimes there’s night where he may go a lil too fast & ends up getting chased by police..

he texts you & tells you to have the garage open so he can just come in & have you close it immediately.. trust, you end up reprimanding him

he always takes you on rides when the sun is setting. idc, he tells you it reminds him of you

does wheelies just to scare you

one day you ask him to teach you how to ride & he says “last i checked, you’re already good at that”

you were left confused until it hit you.. “that is NOT what i meant!”

whenever he gets hit on, he mentions you with so much quickness

if a girl does happen to ask for his number, he gives them yours 😭😭😭 they don’t even know until they text you

if he ever gets injured, the first person he goes to is you, even if he feels that you can’t help. you’re his sense of comfort

like boy could lose a whole leg nd he’d prob call you first to let you know LMAO

his friends hate you bc they say you made him “soft” but you disagree completely!!!

you fear for your life half the time you're his backpack

he speeds through the smallest little cracks between vehicles on the freeway

he uses anything as a ramp & you hate it

when he's making sharp turns he touches the fucken ground with his hand "look how close we are!"

whenever you're in your car & he's on his bike, he always gaps you nd you think it's so mean. yet, he laughs every time

sometimes when he picks you up, he makes sure to make the most noise ever. that's mainly how you can tell he's arrived

i feel like his wardrobe is all black. the only color he has are the clothes you buy for him bc you tease him for being too emo

you also buy him a pikachu skin for his helmet as a joke, but he ends up loving it

he plays deftones on his rides, that or cigs after sex idc.. maybe even sign crushes motorist.. i feel like he's always in his feelings LMAO

whenever you guys are stopped next to a bus or a big semi truck, he always touches it

records pop vids & sends them to you..

car guy ken!

i honestly don't know what kind of car ken would drive..

it's between a supra mk4, nissan 350/370z, or maybe a 2013 bmw 3 :>

i mainly see him in a supra ngl

but whatever car ken drives, he puts WORK into.

you love being around whenever he's working on his cars tho, he'll be all dirty with oils nd shit but its so rawr

ken gets excited over new car parts too

one time you bought him a carbon fiber front bumper and he damn near cried over it

he put starry lights on the roof of the inside of his car to give you something pretty to look at

he lets you keep your little essentials in his glove department or his arm rest

you leave a scrunchie around his gear shift & glosses in his cup holder, plus lil makeup wipes in the lil side compartment on the door

i fear ken has road rage.. he hates slow drivers and flips people off so fucken often

not only that but this man never goes the speed limit???

his car is all blacked out.. so flying down dark highways with his headlights off is his fav thing to do

he hates when you opt out for driving your car.. especially when there's other cars being loud nd making noise. he feels left out, like a puppy taken from its owner

"baby, i wanna make noise too.." with the biggest pout you've ever seen.

one day he suggests that you guys save up for miatas so that your cars can make cute faces at each other & date. it was the sweetest idea ever

car guy ken handles all your car troubles. he's like your personal mechanic

he does donuts in empty parking lots

he did a burn out in your exes drive way & you didn't find out until said ex texted you fucken PISSED

"ken what the fuck??" "what.." "you know what!" "nuh uh."

takes you to car meets so he can teach you more about different cars & the mods you can add to them

can tell a car from the sound the engine is making..

lets you drive his car once & it was the scariest thing he'd ever done

"SLOW DOWN PLEASE"

"i'm going 70!??!"

"this is my baby, i don't want you to crash..."

whenever a car passes him, he takes it as a challenge & gaps them.

[waltwhitmansbeard]

so i just read a post explaining why the op (and, according to the op, a lot of other people, even tho the post in question only had 32 notes, some of which were from people who disagreed with them) didn't like the cut to the crown keepers in last week's episode. while i'm totally on board with people not jibing with stuff that just doesn't work for them, i wanted offer some reasons why this seemingly hard pivot to people who are not the main characters of the story being told was a good decision to make (note good decision, not inherently the best decision, which i believe no one, including the dm, at a ttrpg table should ever be expected to make).

matt had an extremely powerful, extremely unexpected character decision dropped in his lap in the final moments of the previous episode. we don't know exactly how much time matt has between recordings, maybe a full week, maybe not, but either way, there's a very real chance that matt just did not have enough time to fully prepare a session to deal with fcg's death and what comes next.

sam now has to create a new character that a) is of a level with the rest of the party and b) makes narrative sense for him to be there. that takes time for both him and matt, and they might just need some space to work on that. when laudna died, marisha was willing to sit away from the table for several weeks because she knew that she wanted laudna to be resurrected, but sam may not want the same thing, and that's okay!

matt may want to fold the crown keepers into his main story, some or all of them—particularly dorian, whom both liam and the fans have been asking to return for a while now. dorian is clearly important to orym and the story that liam is trying to tell, and bringing the crown keepers in may be matt's way to do that.

matt—and dms generally—has always had to straddle a very fine line of making sure that his players are the main characters of their story who feel like their actions have real consequences and effects on the world, while also understanding that in reality, it doesn't make sense for half a dozen chucklefucks to have such an outsized effect on major cosmological goings-on like *checks notes* the potential release of a god-eater. this becomes especially true when you're on your third campaign set in the same world, and your players' previous ultra-powerful pcs are still around and definitely more adept and connected than their current pcs are. i, personally, think matt does a great job at walking that line, and one of the things he does that i appreciate is that he doesn't shy away from the fact that a) his players are powerful but not the most powerful and b) his players aren't the only one who care about what's going on in the world and who are taking actions to effect change. the current plotline re: ruidus is absolutely world-shaking and is causing all the divine girlies to cower in their demiplanes, so of course even the evil ones are going to be calling on their champions to help out. it makes more sense for opal to be involved (which, btw, matt has been hinting at for a while now) than not.

matt might need a fucking break! he's been doing this consistently for nine years now, and shit is complicated! handing over the reins to aabria for a week or two or three may be what he needs to not get burnt out.

dnd is an emotional game, and the entire cast might have been rocked hard by fcg's death. some space away for a week or two could help them process and regroup to get back into a story that is otherwise very stressful and action-packed.

or it's none of these! what do i know! i'm a random idiot on the internet! matt doesn't consult me on these matters! (though my dms are open if he wants to chat, i do have ideas)

i think it's tempting to think of the decisions made in and around critical role (or any ttrpg show) like those made for a television series, because the episodes are serialized and we love them so much. but this show is, first and foremost, a group of friends playing a game together, and not a carefully constructed narrative with the primary goal of entertaining an audience. the audience always has been and, frankly, always should be second to the wishes and fun of the people around that table. matt would not have asked aabria to step in and dm a crown keepers side arc if he didn't think it was a good decision for him and his players, and that priority is the correct one. we are being invited in to watch these friends have fun together, and that's a privilege that we're super lucky to have. as long as the cr story isn't doing things that are outright abusive or harmful to the cast or the audience, i don't think we should begrudge them the choices they make in the name of their own game.

again, it's okay if you're not vibing with the crown keepers! i didn't love the aeor arc of c2! not everything is for everyone! but i think accusing matt and the cast of narrative malfeasance is a bit much when, tbqh, they don't answer to us. they answer to each other.

[iolaussharpe-24]

I've realized something.

Brian Petsos movies don't have a lot of fans. Oscar Isaac fans like his characters in Brian Petsos movies. We don't talk about Revenge for Jolly!; we talk about Cecil. We don't talk about Ticky Tacky unless we're praising Lucien and/or comparing/connecting him to Anselm. We don't talk about Lightningface; we talk about how pathetic Basil is and compare him to Steven Grant. We don't talk about Big Gold Brick unless it's to bash it, talk about the cast, and obsess over Anselm. I didn't think this at first, because I just assumed I was the wrong kind of viewer for Petsos projects (I previously mentioned that they kind of reminded me of Jim Jarmusch movies), but the more I've looked around online at reviews and discussions, I've been finding this pattern of negativity. It seems like everyone just kind of agrees that Brian Petsos doesn't really make good movies, but Oscar Isaac makes them worth seeing at least once. And, yes, I am aware that there are things Petsos has done without Isaac, but when you search 'Brian Petsos' the first things that come up are the ones that Oscar Isaac is a part of. This includes The Letter Room, which was written and directed by Elvira Lind but Petsos does have a part in solely as an actor. Even on his IMDb page, there's little to nothing about him but half of the available information is, and I quote, "frequently works with Oscar Isaac". In my opinion, that's pretty telling on it's own. I'm not trying to be mean here, I just think this is kind of an interesting thing to note. If you disagree, please let me know. I'd be happy to debate this. Personally speaking, I've watched Revenge for Jolly!, Ticky Tacky, Lightningface, and a tiny bit of Big Gold Brick. (For the record, I know that Petsos didn't direct Revenge for Jolly! but he wrote and starred in it.)

One thing I will say in Petsos' favor: There's very clearly a lot of genuine passion and love in his work and it does show. Interviews with him, the proud displays of nonsensical strangeness, and the fact that he's able to keep making movies all reflect that. You can tell that the people involved are having fun and I think that's the most important part. I think his weakness (to me) is that his projects feel like they lack something. Revenge for Jolly! didn't feel like it was going anywhere for most of it's runtime. Like it wanted to be and do something but didn't know how. It had fairly decent moments... in the first half. But those moments only landed out of shock value, and they very quickly became predictable. (Also, what was up with that bar scene?) Ticky Tacky and Lightningface felt flat. Like bread that didn't rise. Maybe they needed more time to really explore their premises and characters. Like, if we saw Lucien and Claire together before he finds out about the cheating, or if we get to know Basil before the lightning strike. Both of these are about people going crazy, but without that sense of who they used to be, it doesn't really hit that hard and leaves you wondering 'what the hell did I just watch and why?' This is one thing I think Revenge for Jolly! understood, because we get to see Harry, Jolly, and Cecil before the inciting incident of the movie. We get a sense of their relationships with one another. I can't speak for Big Gold Brick because I haven't seen it in full so I'm not going to bother saying anything for the bits I saw either. That's just not fair for anybody.

[yuri-is-online]

Hello, it's hotarubi-sho anon again. Just saw that post on Taiga asking mc if she's "ditched this future" too and wondering what your thoughts are on that! My mind is blank rn bc I'm having a really bad tummy ache and need something to think about lol.

I have a lot of thoughts on the potential of it because I am a huge huge HUGE fan of romances that involve some kind of time travel shenanigans, the flavor of "I'd love you in every world/every timeline" never gets old for me. The angst of one person not remembering the other (or both of them) but they fall for each other all over again. A person crazy enough to end their alternate selves and take their place bc their loved is dead in their own timeline. A person willing to turn back time at a great cost bc nothing matter's more than their partner's wellbeing. Insane, I'll never not go crazy for these plots, if it's not at least this dramatic I don't want it (lol)

Wondering if the mc in the burning academy is from a "future she ditched". How is she connected to the time loop? Is she the cause? How does it happen the first time, does she do it just to save whoever was on the balcony? Why does Taiga have awareness about this when he can barely remember her? His messed up memory having something to do with experiencing loops would make sense. I feel like the Like Dove must have done something very terrifying in some future for his reaction now. And suddenly his importance has increased it's like I'm slowly being made to understand why he's the poster boy now lol.

So many questions and not enough answers I really hope Hotarubi chapter doesn't make it WORSE please answer some plot points instead.

See the one thing I want to disagree with is the idea the like dove does something terrifying? Because it's a dove... so what could it do shit on him? I see more reasons to be afraid of Peekaboo than the dove... but then again it is still an anomaly. Maybe he saw it during a particularly traumatic event that he struggles to remember so that's why he reacted so badly to it? (i am so sorry i abandoned you to your tummy ache I hope it got better)

I think whatever caused the timeloop likely started the previous year with the clash, as for why his memory is clear about it his memory loss seems to relate to the first and second year students. He knows who the third years are and has a solid grasp on things that happened during his first year at the school, it's the next two where things get screwey so I want to know more about those.

I don't want to say MC is the cause of the timeloop just yet? But not because I don't think that could be the case, I just don't have the evidence for it yet. I think The Hotarubi Chapter will answer some stuff, but likely make the questions we do have deeper. I think there's a chance that the chapter might end with Ritsu telling us he's finished reading the school's records about the clash and then that will be our set up going into Mortenkranken's chapter. Maybe anyway?

[666writingcafe]

An Outdoor Argument

AKA: The Girls Are Fighting

"Barbatos called. He wanted to let you know that he was on his way over here. Apparently he's set up a television interview for you tomorrow morning."

"When is he due to arrive?" I ask.

"A couple hours. I'll get his room set up in the meantime."

"That can wait. We need to talk." Lucifer gives me a weird look.

"Is that really necessary?" I nod, and he begrudgingly sits in the patio chair beside me.

"If it's about the way my brothers behaved this afternoon--"

"It's not that." I sigh. "I know you're upset with me."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Classic move from Lucifer: deny, deny, deny.

"Lucifer, we both know that isn't true." I lean forward in my seat. "I just want you to be honest with me. It's all I've ever asked from you." Jaw clench.

"I am not one to tell you what you can or cannot do, but I think you're allowing yourself to become way too distracted. You're the future Demon King, and yet you can't even get through a day's work without feeling the need to jump out a fucking window."

I will admit, that wasn't one of my finest moments, but I couldn't very well waltz out of my office and risk getting caught. I have Barbatos keep a close eye on me for a reason; otherwise, nothing would ever get done. Completing paperwork has always been a drag for me. I can never focus long enough. My mind wanders too much.

Lucifer, on the other hand, seems to relish in it. He'd be content being locked in his office with a few bottles of Demonus and cursed records playing in the background. Doing paperwork soothes his mind from the constant screaming that occurs inside. That's why I give him as much of it as I am allowed to.

But that's beside the point.

"At the end of the day, I'm still a demon. I can only resist temptation for so long before I start to feel twitchy. You can relate to that, can't you?" Eye twitch.

"I just think you should be acting with a bit more decorum, that's all."

I can't stop the laugh that escapes out of my mouth, nor can Lucifer help his eyes narrowing in frustration.

"This isn't funny, Diavolo."

"Oh, I disagree. It seems as though you expect me to believe that you and your brothers have never been distracted and failed to complete your duties as a result."

"I know that my brothers are not the best at finishing assignments. No matter how hard I try, I can never seem to get them to behave--"

"And what about you? I can recall a couple of times that you've turned in something late because you were preoccupied with other things."

"At least I came back to it when I was done."

"And I will do the same when I return." Crossed arms. "How does my desire to spend time with MC differ from you and your brothers?"

No response.

I sense someone hiding in the shadows. Interesting timing on their part, seeing as this conversation pertains to them.

"You know, I think that you're jealous. You don't like that MC and I have grown close. It bothers you."

"You're free to do what you want. It's not like I can stop you." A dismissive tone. He's trying to keep his composure.

"You're one of my closest friends, Lucifer. I hate seeing you like this."

"Don't." He's getting close.

"Just tell me what's wrong. I want to help you--"

"Will you stop?!" Lucifer's chair scrapes on the concrete as he jumps out of his seat, his eyes flashing with anger. If I can just push him a little further...

"Tell me the truth."

"You want the truth? Fine. I am so sick and tired of you getting everything you want. I've had to bust my ass to get a mere fraction of the respect that you receive, and all you had to do was to be burn into fucking royalty for everyone to throw themselves at you, begging for the chance to fulfill all of your desires." I stand up from my chair, gently pushing it back behind me.

"Do you see me as competition, Lucifer?"

"How can I? Just by making your presence known, you've already won before anyone else even has a chance to play. There is no competition to be had."

I knew that Lucifer was pretty insecure as a result of his sin, but I had no idea that I was one of the reasons why. I mean, he's Lucifer Morningstar, once the most revered angel in the Celestial Realm. He has just as many admirers as I do, if not more.

"May I remind you that MC was practically head over heels for you from the moment they first saw you? You didn't even have to say a single word to them. I, on the other hand, was on their bad side for a very long time. The only reason they reached out to me the last time was because they didn't want to worry you unnecessarily. I had to get them to trust me before we could even be on friendly terms, let alone romantic ones."

"You still got to them before I did."

"Well, if we're talking about engaging in bedroom activities with them, so did most of your brothers."

"I'm not worried about them." I really shouldn't say what's on my mind right now. For one, it would be a much lower blow than my previous statement, and I don't like hitting below the belt. Also, we do have an audience, and I don't want them thinking less of me.

Then again...

I recall a conversation I had with MC while they stayed with me at the castle, one that occurred early on during their visit. Among other things, they mentioned that they hated feeling like they were a mere object incapable of making their own decisions.

I wonder...

I step closer to Lucifer, who's currently glaring at me.

I'm going to be profusely apologizing for this.

"Are you afraid that I'll fuck them better than you ever can?" Lucifer clamps his hands on my shoulders.

"MC is mine!"

"Lucifer Morningstar!" MC emerges from the shadows and storms over to us, making Lucifer let go of me in shock. They're pissed.

"MC, I--"

"Sit down." Lucifer hesitates. "Now." The power of their pact makes him do as he's told. Once he's seated, MC grabs both sides of the chair and leans over Lucifer rather closely.

"How dare you." Any anger Lucifer had on his face is replaced with immense fear. "I ought to punish you for breaking your promise."

"I'm sorry." The apology comes out so softly that I can barely hear it, but the regret on his face says it all. He knows he's fucked up, and he appears ready to accept whatever punishment MC has in store for him.

Question is, will they?

MC stares into his eyes, appearing to contemplate their decision. The tension between them is intense. Part of me feels like looking away in order to give them privacy.

"I accept your apology." MC gives him a quick kiss before leaning slightly back and tilting his head up. "And for the record, I don't like to choose." They let go of the chair and walk away from him, intent on heading inside.

A simple yet determined glance in my direction has me following close behind. Once we're away from prying eyes, MC turns to me and simply states,

"Well played, Diavolo." I shrugged. "Did I pass whatever test you decided to spring on me just now?"

Perhaps Solomon is right. They are too smart for their own good.

"Hold out your hand." MC extends the hand with the crest of the Sorcerer's Society on it out to me, and I gently grab it, positioning my free hand so that it hovers over theirs.

"I, Lord Diavolo, Demon Prince and heir to the throne, grant you, MC, Solomon's apprentice and future sorcerer, the Star of Gratitude." Once the star appears on their skin, I squeeze their hand softly.

"Thank you for not hurting my friend."

[arkhammaid]

Hi, I hope the writing has been going fine.

One of my most favorite works of yours is of girl Charles, have you ever thought about how would you go about writing a girl Max of you ever tried to? Honestly Max's life would be 100 times more difficult as a woman, people would have hated too much on his blunt and no-nonsense nature (something which they already do)

Also how was Deadpool and Wolverine, going through a movie burnout right now do you think I should try watching it?

hi there anon! sorry for taking some time to answer this. i haven't written so much the past few days, i just enjoyed the time being back home :) but i do hope it will go well once i properly start writing again!!

it has become a bit of a yap fest answering this ask so, more below the cut!! please excuse any grammar mistakes, i've been typing this on my phone

and as for fem!max... yes i have but i have no particular plot line/ship in mind yet. the idea didn't... dunno, grab me properly like fem!charles, not yet. i hope one day it will, because i know i could write something interesting.

while yes, i agree to what you said, i also have to disagree. fem!max would have her father throwing his weight around, a man who has many contacts, including the schumacher's. fem!charles had none of that, not even jules could've brought her so far like a father who is established in the motorsport world would have.

and of course, fem!max wouldn't be very different from actual max but do you really think red bull would just not do anything? they would be the team, who have the first woman who won a race, won several championships (later), they would invest in her and they wouldn't just idly sit by and watch everyone rip her apart

red bull would invest in her because 1. they see her talent, they see what she can do and they don't want that to go wasted, because they also see she can use that talent, 2. getting a woman like fem!max as a driver would fit their mentality, the motto of red bull. they advertise their drink not with typical advertising, they do it with world records and crazy attempts in all kinds of sports. it's their essence, it's captured in the "red bull gives you wings". having someone like fem!max would fit perfectly. 3. now the former two reasons, make up the third one. red bull does NOT want a pr perfect athlete/driver, like charles for example. they want someone rough around the edges, someone bullheaded, so with fem!max, they don't want a blond princess. considering max's personality, it's perfect (in some degree) for them, because they don't have to fake the toughness!!

rb pr would work so much harder to show who fem!max is. to show the world that max is an athlete, one of her kind, not just any woman within motorsport, she is THE woman. she's blunt, does not lie, values honesty and hard work (because she does it herself), is absolutely obsessed with racing and cars, and has some weird quirks like everyone else! red bull pr doesn't want a humble female driver, they want someone who represents their brand, so everyone immediately associates them with their driver, when they just hear the driver's name.

does this make sense? i really hope it does 😭 if anyone has any questions or wants me to elaborate (because i cut it down a bit), send me another ask!

and now, finally, deadpool and wolverine! yes, i can only recommend the movie. if you like deadpool 1&2, you will like this movie. if you like wolverine, you will also like this movie. and if you like marvel but think the mcu fell off ever since endgame, you will probably also like this movie 🤭

[slocumjoe]

What do you think the companions opinions of ghosts and supernatural things are?

You know, I've actually done this before, years back!

Looking back on it now, I have some differing ideas, having spent more time really thinking these dudes over and writing about them. So,

COMPANIONS AND SPIRITUALITY 2; ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

Cait; Surprises herself when she realizes this, but she believes in God. Not just agnostic, she believes in the Christian God. It never occurred to her until one day, when she caught herself and realizes that this was the belief she held. Her parents weren't religious, so it didn't make any damn sense to her. She just sorta defaulted to it. Obviously, Cait is not religious, but yeah, she kinda assumed a Christian mindset. Just never cared. Once she catches herself, becomes staunch atheist, but that shift was sudden and kind of wobbly. Its a "Wait, what do I actually believe in?" moment. As for cryptids, no. Maybe ones before the war. But as for the post apocalypse, anything is possible, so, why bother with trying to make it all mysterious?

Curie; Avid hater of cryptids and Aliens, but fascinated by religion. You ask her for her opinions on the topic, and she'll break off into a sociological discussion of the nature of religion and faith, and what's she's noticed in the apocalyptic modern era. You ask her if she believes in religion, and you can see her eyes go all blue screen of death, Ms. Nanny body or no. For one, the Ms. Nanny programming would never allow her to form an opinion on that. For two, the programming also kind of held everything in place. In a synth form, where her brain is looking for her own answer, but her instinct/programming remnant is looking for coded-in pre-recorded responses...it's a good way to send her into a kind of crisis. The move from metal to meat doesn’t do her any favors, here.

Danse; A loose agnostic. He sees no need to argue about it, but he doesn't believe, but he also doesn't...disagree? Danse's stance here is "we'll never know so what's the point." He tried religion, and he'll pray in...dire circumstances...but if you ask, he'll call himself an atheist. He'll also go into the sociology and go all nerd on you, but where Curie almost physically can't have an opinion, Danse doesn't have one and doesn't feel the need for one. If he needs God to be real, he'll hope for it. Otherwise, nah.

Deacon; would fuck with Buddhism. Would be that annoying dude at the Whole Foods check out buying hummus who holds the cashier at obligation-point to talk about karma. Normally this would be a Deaconism, an inside joke. Not here. This is a genuine Deacon. He'd also be very interested in all religions, but Buddhism is the one he's most likely to consider, if not partake in. Aliens and cryptids? Uh...Deacon likes to have fun, so yeah, but he's probably not a hardcore believer. He's just being a silly goose. Will double down and go full tinfoil hat to be obnoxious, but doesn't really put stock in it.

Gage; nah and nah. He was raised catholic and it didn't take. Or, maybe it took too well, or in the wrong way, depending on your perspective. He still privately considers Sunday to be special, but he doesn't act on it. Cryptids, also nah. Same reason as Cait. Have you seen what radiation does to animals? To people? Why the fuck would anything be surprising? "There was a giant moth the size of a man on my house!" Shit, that means the runoff from the nuclear power plant from up north has reached the watering holes. "I saw a large, hairy man!" That was probably Gage himself. Fuck sake. "There was a man with a goat head!" Thats a Pack member, which is arguably worse than what you think you saw.

Hancock; Religious in the traumatized way. The begging for God to kill you if you deserve to die but nothing happens, so clearly death is too good for you, kind of religious. Hancock has mental breakdowns in churchs, screaming at the remains of the cross in the middle of the burnt pews. Hancock is religous when thematically appropriate and suitably unhinged. Cryptids, he likes the fun of it, but seriously, if Hancock starts mentioning God and crucifixion, you need to check on him.

MacCready; Hardcore no on the religion, hardcore yes on the cryptids. This man would have Bigfoot bumper stickers. He would be on the reddit threads. I don't even know what to write here. Do I need to justify? You know. You know MacCready is a Bigfoot truther. Aliens? Don't talk to Bob about aliens. He'll hold you hostage in a story about the time he went camping up in [insert North Eastern Forest Here] and definitely saw [insert North Eastern Alien of Cultural Importance Here]. This man would go ghost busting.

Nick; religious, but like, very low key about it. He's not a praying man, but he does think the Big Man Upstairs exists. Mostly because there's so many times in his life where he's certain someone is laughing at him, and whatever dumb situation he's gotten himself into now. Does go to church every so often, and steps lighter in the ruins he finds. Aliens? Nope. Cryptids? Nope. Ghosts? Yeah, absolutely. He doesn't buy into those haunted house attractions, but he believes in the afterlife, and that some folks might get lost on their way there.

Piper; no religion. No aliens. No cryptids. Hard facts or fuck off. At least, thats what she says. But the moment something rattles in the basement at 2 in the morning? Piper is superstitious. She doesn't believe, but she's not gonna play chicken with demonic possession or alien abduction. Now, she has some ghost stories, but she doesn't think they're ghost stories. "Yeah, turned out the person I'd been talking to was legally dead for 30 years. Kinda weird." "Piper." "Say its a ghost and I'm throwing my drink at you. Who doesn't fake their death every once in a while?"

Preston; raised religious but didn't take. It's not that he believes in ghosts, it's that Preston has a good head on his shoulders. This man Knows when Something Is Wrong. Preston might not have the highest PER, but he knows when to get the fuck out of somewhere. Aliens, cryptids, whatever. Preston doesn't even know if ghosts are real. He just knows that some places don't forget what happened to them. If you're ever in a weird location, use him as a "back in the car right fucking now" meter.

X6-88; no religion, aliens, or cryptids, whatever. However. Very prone to believing tall tales. Myths. Legends. Mothman? Genuinely thought that was just a species of moth. He thinks they're bullshit, provided the info is being provided with air of literalness. If you open with "yeah, there's this story of a giant half man, half moth creature," he knows its a story. If you go, "There's a giant moth from Virginia that eats people", that's just what moths are like. Why would he assume there isn't a carnivorous moth? Gets very, very upset whenever someone pulls one over on him like this. By someone, I mean Deacon. Its always Deacon.

[lady-raziel]

For the record does the Watcher thing going on mean it's immoral to consume Watcher content now?

this is a strange ask, and i'm also aware that this was sent before the update video came out and the news might change whether or not you care, so assuming this is a genuine question that you're asking because you really want my take on it (people try to ask "gotcha" questions in asks all the time, so you have to take things with a grain of salt), i will answer this genuinely.

it is not up to me, or anyone else for that matter, to decide what media in your life is "moral" or not. morals are complicated. morals are squishy. morals can and should change as you grow and evolve and sticking to one steadfast idea of what is right and wrong has gotten a lot of people in trouble for basically the whole of human history. it's up to you to decide what you believe in, while taking care to make sure that the same things you're standing for aren't the ones you're going to fall for. it's really important that you make up your mind for yourself about how everything from your politics and religion to what you buy and yes, what media you consume, fits into your own sense of morality. big picture shit-- that's how you become a well-rounded person who doesn't get taken advantage of by the countless people who want to sell you their ideas of right and wrong to serve their own motives.

it's hard, i get it, to not just say "well, xyz group of people says this thing is bad, and i agree with them about other stuff, so i'll just go along with them." we all bandwangon to a certain extent, whether for the sake of convenience or to be accepted by those we respect or many other reasons. i do this too, certainly-- there's no need to share every opinion you have on the internet with everyone even if it's not controversial.

but please, if i'm able to impress on you anything that you can take away from my silly blog, it would be that you shouldn't let other people decide what media is "right" or "wrong" to watch based on THEIR moral sensibilities. Use your best judgement and decide that for yourself, based on what you believe. Someone is always going to disagree with you. Sometimes a lot of someones are going to disagree with you. Don't let that stop you from exercising your right to have your own opinion.

Consuming a certain type of media does not automatically make you a good and/or bad person. Lots of bad shit happens in the bible. lots of moral shit can happen in a porn-filled 50-part destiel omegaverse mpreg deconstruction of gender norms too. (i'm making that second one up, but i have no doubt someone will send me an ask later wondering if i'm referring to a specific fic. no. but godspeed.)

i'm pontificating now. i like to take small things and make them into big, important things. that's my poison of choice. but yeah. this is a question you have to answer for yourself if you want the answer to mean anything real.