#for the record i don't know any susie

[rosegoldendaydream]

i love it when fanfic writers write stuff for their online friends because it usually looks like

Susie, my dearest friend, I love you so much, you mean the world to me. I'm so glad that I met you. You're the best thing in my life. I'm so excited to see you in real life in four months. I hope you know how much I appreciate you. Anyway, here's 7k of your favorite characters fucking, daddy kink, bdsm, blood kink, knife play, necrophilia, spit as lube. I hope you'll like it!

[inkdemonapologist]

[BatIM Cthulhu AU] A couple of doodles from session two, which UNSETTLED SAMMY A LOT ACTUALLY...

There have been small changes, throughout New York -- doors opening on the wrong side of the street, houses ending up just a block away from where you remembered them -- but the only people who can even tell seem to be those who remember Carcosa. Joey, Sammy, Henry, Jack, Peter, and Norman all experienced the strange shifting realm when a Mardi Gras party attempted to bring dread Carcosa to New Orleans, but Susie wasn't there. She can't see the changes we see, and the entire rest of the city agrees with her. That door was always there? The car was always that colour. That's where I remember the address being before, and there's no record it was ever different.

She trusts what the boys are reporting must be true, that maybe there are changes she can't see or remember, and both she and Sammy are terrified. These are only little things, but as more and more of the city slips into the world of the King in Yellow, what else might be rewritten...?

Anyway EVERYONE'S HAVING A GREAT TIME. If you're here for Out Of Context Quotes from our session, I have some of those too, here, under the cut!!

[Sammy is played by me, Joey is played by Boo (inkyvendingmachine), Henry is played by Maf (inkcryptid), Jack is played by Mochi (whatyouwantedmetosee) and Thren (haunted-hijinxer) is our GM!]

[Jack] I love how detective Pete is for a guy who is NOT a detective. [Sammy] He just got assigned that by Joey Drew and now it's true. [Joey] Exactly! That's how it works.

[Sammy] The idea of JDS having its own employed detective is really funny to me. "Why do you need that? You're an animation studio." "Well, you know, things come up,"

[GM] Everybody went home I believe, except Joey went to the Studio, which is like home,

[Sammy] Do we have any plan, other than just go in to work, [Jack] I though you were gonna say "other than go insane"...

[Joey] If Prophet's not the one going for the ink, then why is Sammy going for it?! Do they have a SECOND prophet situation??? [Jack] PROPHET...... TWO!!! [Henry] Prophet 2: Electric Boogaloo [Sammy] *tiredly* We don't need any more Prophets..... We don't need any more Sammys..... we have enough.....

[Jack] You just need to sip some ink and tell them it's the wrong number. Like, you've got the wrong guy. [Henry] New stone, who dis?

[Sammy] It was the false king who called through the ink, not our Lord! [Joey] Interesting... [Joey] Joey's going to ask Bendy if he can... feel this? Is he getting calls? *dad voice* Is someone calling you? Don't put your number on the internet!

[GM] Bendy says he wasn't made to be a receiver the same way Sammy was. [Jack] So technically, it's "New Sam, who dis"!

[Joey] Okay, Joey's going to note this all down in his... Notebook Of Nonsense That Plagues Them,

[GM] I'm choosing to believe that whenever Norman called in, he gave some sort of outlandish excuse, and whoever answered the phone didn't... write it down... [Sammy] Like the heckin', grian excuses-- [Joey] "I'm cutting my grass, with scissors" [Jack] Yeah!! He's cutting his grass! With scissors! In winter!!! [Sammy] And then Sammy's like "Do we know why he called out?" and the receptionist is just like "No We Have NO Idea" [Jack] With the most tired sigh. Second only to Grant.

[GM] Fun fact, Norman would answer the phone. [Sammy] Norman actually was just like, "ohhhhhhh i know THIS is some supernatural bullshit happening, I'm gonna stay home"

[Joey] Joey's going to ask Estelle if he looked like-- and give a vague description of Avedon. [GM] .............................. [GM] She is SO impressed that you knew this. [Joey] *delighted cackling*

[Jack] I love how cute Joey is about this kid. Just like... the cool Bendy Uncle! He's not related at all, but, [Joey] I feel like this is kind of how Joey just gets around kids? Maybe Joey does really want kids, just, y'know, doesn't know how to do it when gay? [Sammy] Obviously that won't happen, so-- [Joey] Yeah, [Sammy] --so then you START AN ANIMATION STUDIO, that's the only other option! [GM] Yeah, then all kids are your kids!

[GM] Alright, you've made many phone calls. [Joey] Yeah, [GM] And you only rudely hung up on one of them!

[Sammy] Sammy can surely track that down; he's used to digging up musicians. [Jack] Jack's there to assist with the Talking to People in a way that makes them want to cooperate with you, and not run in fear!

[GM, speaking for Peter] *lists all of the information Peter's dug up* And that's about what he managed to get, today! [Joey] And nothing weird has been happening... to him? [GM] WELL, OKAY. ABOUT THAT,

[Peter] Could you describe again, the strange person who was at the party? What was that guy like? [Joey] *thinking very hard* Which... strange person...? I mean... Denis was there?

[Norman] Try not to fall in a swamp this time. [Joey] I'll let you know if I find one! [Sammy] There's fewer of those in New York, so, I think we're good. [Jack] I mean, you never know,, [Sammy] ...yeah, that's true..... [Joey] HEY, Joey will let him know if he finds one!!! [Sammy] If LAKE PONCHARTRAIN opens up in the MIDDLE OF NEW YORK CITY, that will certainly be something to let all of our friends know!

[GM] Make a social-type checks to have a word with them beforehand! [Sammy] I don't know, if I should do that,,, [GM] SAMMY can make an Appearance check! [Sammy] *laughing* LETS SEE IF IM HANDSOME ENOUGH to get let in!

[GM] Everybody's like "You guys!" You're greeted with nostalgia, and eagerness! and people are trying to small talk you, I'm guessing Sammy's not going for that. [Sammy] I mean, you can try to small talk.... AT him... [Sammy] He doesn't... y'know... it's like playing a game of catch where you throw the ball to somebody, and they just hold the ball. [Sammy] Like.... okay! [GM] I did the thing! [Sammy] Cool, catch successful. [Jack] No give, only throw!

[Sammy] Look, I was trying to drink ink this morning, so I feel like this is a step up.

[Sammy] Sammy will enjoy it! We should do this more often! [Sammy] "We should do this more often" says man who will always be too busy to do this more often,

[GM] They're impressed that, at a job where there was a gunshot right in front of the stage, the thing you want to ask about is where they sourced their music. [Sammy] I LOVE that Sammy's reputation is such that this makes perfect sense to them.

[GM] His name is Alan Leroy. [Sammy] Okay, Leroy works, because then I'll remember it, because of Leroy Jenkins. [GM] This is what's been going through my head the entire time, too...

[GM] They say he's a crazy-talented musician who blew into town a year or two ago? He's really nice and easy to get along with, and when he really gets going he can make sounds come out of his instrument like you've never heard! [Sammy] These... are all.. compliments that would be really impressive except that they can all be interpreted in really concerning ways.......

[GM] If Jack wants to look harder, he can.......... [Jack] I'm doing it, Jack can make little a bad decision! He hasn't made any yet this season!! [Jack] *rolls* That's an extreme success. How much sanity do I lose!!

[Henry] We're ghost hunters. The, the pale guy is a ghost, we're goin' after him. Ghost hunters. [Henry] ...This is why you don't let Henry lead the conversation!!

[Jack] It's occurring to me that we don't know if this guy is alive??? [Joey] YUP! This is a good time to find out! [Henry] Fun! [GM] When have you EVER gone up to somebody's house and found them dead inside? [Jack] Jack hasn't yet... [Henry] The very first scenario! [Sammy] Yeah it was a pretty bad situation as I recall, we were briefly accused of being involved! [Jack] Maybe you guys. Jack's different, though.

[Joey] We wanted to make sure he was doing alright. .....does that need a Fast Talk roll? [GM] Yeah, I was about to say-- [Joey] *rolls* *STARTS CACKLING* [GM] What did you do, do you roll a three again? [Joey] I DID ROLL A THREE! :D THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I ROLLED! [GM] I thought it was the Three Laugh!

[Henry] Henry is tired. Henry rolled a 93. [GM] Well he's out late, you know, he's a family man! He has normal hours, he hasn't been staying up late, living at the studio for the last few years! [Henry] He's regretting not accepting Joey's offer to just go home. [Joey] *muttering* See, Joey knows best!

[GM] Okay, so you guys notice, right off, that the car isn't there. [Sammy] UM. HM. [Jack] Which car did we take again? [Joey] The Mercedes... [Jack] *relieved* Okay good. [Jack] .... I MEAN, NOT GOOD, BUT...

[Joey] No, no I think it's OUR car... it's just... more yellow now... [Jack] I don't like that that means it's getting yellower... [Joey] ...........................So when do we take the sanity hit? [GM] Yeah, that would be now!

[GM] The woman says she's looking forward to when he has his own ship, and they can sail away together! [Henry] [Henry] ...I'm married,...

[Joey] Joey has his face pressed to the window-- no, he probably has the window down, it doesn't matter how cold it is -- and... CAN the window go down? Hold on. [Joey] *sounds of typing* "Car... door... window... down... history... when."

[Henry] Okay, these dice are BANNED. I rolled a 90! [Jack] What if you subtly replace the dice...? [Sammy] With slighty yellower dice!

[Joey] OKAY! There ARE rolling windows, so Joey does have the window rolled down, and he's intensely watching the colour of the car. [Joey] AND ALSO, he's STILL sitting in the middle seat, he's just going to lean over someone to do this. [Sammy] Ah. It's probably me.

[Jack] No, no, Pete and Jack can get kidnapped later and take some massive sanity damage together. ✨Cute date ideas!✨

[Joey] Joey's going to inform Norman that they're going to come over, they need additional eyes on something, [GM] Well, he's good at keeping eyes on things! [Joey] So they'll be over soon. [Sammy] I like how Norman gets a heads up, but with Peter we just show up at his apartment. [Joey] Exactly! [Jack] That's because Joey's kissed Pete. When Joey and Norman kiss then that's -- not good for Sammy, probably. [GM] At least Pete and Sammy are neutral. Non-reactive. [Sammy] Norman and Sammy are "it's complicated" on Facebook.

[Sammy] Okay, we gotta go get Linda, so Susie's not alone, [Jack] We're just playing "how many NPCs can we force Thren to play at once!" How many can we shove in the back of this car.

[Jack] Jack's gonna get home and find out his cats are different colours, [Sammy] Oh NO, [Jack] Comes back and Beans is a tortie now. [Sammy] Or Beans is just an orange cat, [Jack] Oh no! Her braincells! [GM] She needs those! She has all of them!!

[Joey] Depending on who's the affected party, Susie or them, it is actually useful to have a second, like, [Sammy] Someone to compare with? Yeah. [Henry] We don't know WHO the control group is, but ONE of us is the control group!

[Joey] As trusted as Norman is, he isn't one of Joey's... white-knuckle-clutched-keepsakes of a person,

[Sammy] *sarcastic* Okay, everyone ready to go to sleep? That's not a scary prospect right now, right? That's something that we're all really confident about doing? Cool, that's great. [Henry] Yeah, yeah, that's definitely not gonna, it's gonna go great...! [GM] Nobody's even cut their hand on a slick stone! It's fine! [Henry] NO ONE BETTER CUT THEIR HAND ON A SLICK STONE! We got enough problems!! [Joey] (Looking at you, Prophet!)

[Henry] Is Joey,,, sharing this plan with anyone? [Joey] ouo Has anyone asked him?

[Joey] Let's send Henry then! [Henry] Alright. Send Henry to Carcosa! [Sammy] *exasperated* yeah that's fine.... [Joey] It's not FULLY sending him there! It's just making a connection. [Joey] A little bridge! [Sammy] Uggghhhh... Sammy doesn't think we need any bridges to Carcosa. [Sammy] We've got enough Carcosa. [Sammy] Put some back.

[Sammy] This is what happens When You Give a Joey a Dream Spell.

[Sammy] We can't actually guarantee that New York isn't going to sink. That's not out of the question. [Jack] Is the Joey Drew specialty NOT "promising things that aren't necessarily things you can promise??"

[Henry] Actually, before Henry leaves he's going to give Joey a hug. [Joey] He doesn't get to leave. [Henry] Oh. [Joey] But Joey will take the hug!

[Henry] You know this man gives good hugs. You're getting a good Henry hug. [Jack] Gonna crunch all of Joey's terrible, very bad bones. [Henry] He's gonnna try not to crunch all of Joey's terrible bones! [Henry] But, I dunno. [Henry] Roll for damage.

[GM] The lurker knows this is serious, but he's also excited, because he has heard what a slumber party is from Henry's kids.

[GM] Now it is Friday, the 28th of December. [Sammy] Okay. Cool. Let's all make an effort to not ring in the New Year in Carcosa. That's MY New Year's Resolution: Don't Be In Carcosa.

[patiann345]

I'm flabbergasted, I'm shocked, I'm disappointed, and frankly? I'm indignant.

In a series with so, so very little in terms of representation in canon, a series that had what I THOUGHT was 2-3 confirmed POC (we'll get to that 2-3 bit btw), 1 Jewish man, a handful of women who's writing is hit-or-miss, and no queer characters because according to one of the creators "their identities don't matter"... (Tell that to the straight characters like Henry, Thomas, Allison, Susie, Linda who's not even a character and didn't need to exist in the first place-)

Preview for that graphic novel dropped! Spoilers!!

Norman Polk is white.

I'm. astonished. For the record, because I know someone will likely bring it up, I am aware that there was never a point in the series where it was ever actually confirmed that Norman was a black man. But it was very much the consensus for most people that he was coded to be POC. To see this is just.. it's disheartening.

Dreams Come to Life seemingly (egg on my face for thinking Norman was black ig???) had 3 POC characters; Norman, Thomas, and Jacob. This was... maybe changed to 2 later on, as JDS went back on coding Thomas as a black man (an announcement they made in a Discord server of all things?? Never publically???) which they may have gone back on again later since the wiki (not official, for the record) recognizes him as black.

3 characters, and we're now down to possibly one; I say possibly because it depends on how Thomas is represented in this book. If he's black, we've got 2. If he's white?

One. One character who's never made an appearance in the games; only in spinoff material in a book. One.

In the simplest way I can put it, I'm upset. There's lots more I can talk about here; how I think this opening is a disservice and bastardization of the original writing for cutting so much out, how while it can look worse (I've read a good handful of fnaf books I KNOW it can look worse) I can't say it really looks any good, how Buddy looks like he's 12, how the yellows are garish and piss-looking. But what has me the most upset is Norman, because he was 1 of 2-3 POC characters, out of a cast of dozens upon dozens. And sure, there could be more. But we only had 3 confirmed. Maybe 2.

And now we may be down to one.

I actually spoke with my partner a few nights ago about how nervous I was about the graphic novel. Because of how the cover looked, I wasn't expecting anything great. But I knew there was a chance they'd double down and be like 'Nope, actually Thomas is white, always was' I was anticipating that, and I still am. And I looked at them and told them something roughly along the lines of- "I can live with them making Thomas white, cause of them trying to back-peddle once, I wouldn't be surprised, but I don't know how I'd handle them whitewashing Norman."

I still don't know how to handle it. To say I'm disappointed is an understatement. People have done amazing designs of Norman for AUs and personal headcanons. Hell, all the staff really. And a majority of them, you'll find, are black. Almost everyone thought he was black. Not this pale Afton knock-off (seriously his hair looks greasy as hell, I know it's a stylization of the lighting but it looks gross)

I'm just throwing my thoughts out here for anyone who cares. Maybe most people won't mind, and fine. Again, it wasn't stated, it was seemingly coding, but clearly, we were wrong because he's paler than the fucking moon. But this is upsetting. This is genuinely upsetting to see. We have so little rep in this series, and the number is somehow dwindling.

What. the Fuck.

[omgsuperstarg]

Shut up and Drive- Toto Wolff x Assistant! Reader

Another one shot with the Capricorn King Toto Wolff. I hope yall like it and subscribe for more

This short is based on this video with him and his lovely wife Susie!!! Ughhh I live for them soo much, they're such a cute and POWERFUL COUPLE!!!!

Alright!!! Let's burn some rubber!!!!!!!!!!

As one of Toto's assistants, it's stipulated that you keep him on track of his appointments and all drama that entails throughout the day. You had your fair share of chaos and it always goes on overdrive on a race weekend. Right now the team is currently in Miami for another Race for the 2023 season and with the sweltering sun and hotter cars it was shaping up to be another fun weekend.

This is your outfit. imagine the Mercedes shirt replacing the blouse

Your gloves

You were multitasking between your computer and Toto and Bono as they analyzed data before the race kicked off when suddenly your best friend and Mercedes' Social Media moderator Jessica approached you.

"Y/N just the girl I wanted to see, I have a fun assignment for you," She says smiling evilly

"Oh boy, I know im gonna regret life choices ", I respond playfully scared.

"Don't worry love, you're going to be doing this assignment with Toto so you'll be safe. How do you feel about driving around the BOSS", she says wringing her hands like a bond villain.

"What are we waiting for, LETS GOO!!", you say pulling her towards the beloved team principal.

Once Toto was caught up to speed, both you and Toto proceeded to the vehicle with your cell phone out to capture it all.

Entering the car, you strapped in your seatbelt and began to record your POV.

"Okay guys, here I am bout to be driven around the track by my Boss. If you don't hear from me again you know who to look at", you say while flipping the camera to show your boss.

"Don't worry, you'll be completely fine and ill even drive slow", the statuesque man sounds while patting my shoulder in a comforting way.

"You say that now but I know the gears be running in your head on ways to torment me. I can feel this is your hazing ritual for me since I'm new," you say while giggling. Your face however is still sceptical, the car begins moving as you begin to further document your trip and that's when the chaos starts.

Toto pumps the gas without warning and the speed was astounding like any adrenaline junkie you begin to cheer in delight.

"Wooooo, this is what im talking bout. It's official I'm petitioning for Toto to be a stunt driver!!", you say as your body slightly moves with the car as it turns.

"I wonder if the fans petitioned you to be James Bond, cuz you have the vintage look of the early movies but a lot more gentlemanly. "you say as you whip your head to the statuesque Austrian.

"A few times, I thought about acting, but I figured it wasn't my place.", he says wistfully.

"Alright boss man,it's the final turn. Give me some speed and remember, if I aint feeling some kind of G force you going too slow."you say while giggling.

You take notice of his playful smile,which resembles a wolfish grin. You couldn't help but snap a picture to remember the moment. This should be one of the main pictures of the post. Sadly, all things must end. Finally, it's your turn.

You decided to wear your fingerless leather gloves for this moment and connect your phone to the car's radio since you have the perfect song in mind.

"Okay, now I have one of my lovely assistants to take her little spin round the track," the leader responds with his Austrian accent shining through.

I'm lovely?!?! Aweee sir, you flatter me, but I hope you don't mind if I put on a little music for us to cruise to, "you say, smiling in glee.

So you turn the radio up and started off slow. After the road was clear, I went full-on fast and furious.

You were hitting those turns like the drivers on the track.

"I hope you're enjoying yourself boss", you state while keeping eyes on the road and jamming to the song on the radio. "I can truly say that this is an experience. I love your touch of the gloves and playing Rihanna is quite fitting for the situation", he speaks with his joyful laugh filling your ears.

"I never thought you would be a Rihanna fan", playfully gasping at his statement. You can thank my eldest daughter for that", he says.

"Are you sure you're not a driver?", the boss man playfully asks. "No, I wish. Maybe if I have gotten into it from a young, now I would've been turning heads but I'm happy where I am, I still get to be in a world I love with the most chill team EVER!!", you say getting a little emotional.

The car slows down as you return to the pits, wishing the time wasn't over. After exiting you gave Toto a hug thanking him for a great time as well as for putting up with your crazy fun.

"I enjoyed it and I sure as hell wouldn't mind doing a carpool karaoke with you the next time",

"I've already made note of it sir and Im looking forward to hearing THAT VOICE", you say as you conclude your heart-to-heart heading back to the garage to observe the good chaos of race day.

[future--ghost]

I started thinking about Sammy Lawrence again. He genuinely means so much to me because he's such missed potential. The creators of Bendy proved that they COULD write good characters, but just don't. If time constraints are an issue, maybe you should deviate from your formula? Susie/Malice is a good character. She has development throughout the chapters, even if we don't explicitly see her much. Her actions resonate through the studio, not to mention that we can get her audio recordings from the past, each one showing her going from an excited, up-and-coming Alice to an angry, betrayed, bitter woman, who's about to become a victim to Joey. I WISH they'd explore Sammy more as a character. He could genuinely be so interesting. A talented musician who won an award, alongside his old friend and musical partner, Jack. Jack, who was a singer, and the sweeter of the two. Jack who can no longer form coherent sentences, nor can he sing any longer. Sammy, who has a more stable body than the rest of the lost ones, but who has lost himself to madness. One of the first overtaken by the ink. One of the first to be pulled into the depths of insanity by Joey's creations.

He could he so tragic. Sammy's belief in the Ink Demon "saving him from the inky abyss he calls a body" has always been considered dumb. How had he come to that opinion? That's something I'd see every once and a while after the release of chapter 2 of BATIM. After BATDR, I remember seeing a character analysis of Sammy's belief in the Ink Demon and how in BATDR, we saw a more manipulative and egotistical Ink Demon. It could be possible that the Ink Demon took advantage of Sammy's desire for his old body back to return to his former self. It'd be easy, wouldn't it? A sleep deprived musician who's been one of the first victims of the Ink. Spiraling downwards, even writing one last song, before the breakdown that marked the end to his former life. (Lighter Side of Hell was the last song Sammy composed before he broke down and was consumed by the Ink, I think.) I can't find the post, but I really did love that one, because ever since I've thought about him more.

Something I've thought about his character that has definitely sprouted from BATDR is Sammy's ability to compose in the form we see in the game. His body is made of Ink. INK. Ink doesn't hold a stable form. No matter what you do, it won't. It's not like skin. Skin will at least be soft enough to touch things, but inky will ripple at the touch of a string. Why might I mention strings? Sammy's favorite instrument is the Banjo, as he said in the Sammy Lawrence Hot Topic Twitter Takeover in 2017. Banjo is a string instrument, but an ink body wouldn't be able to use a string instrument. Sammy Lawrence physically cannot compose without damaging the ink body. The string would most likely cut through the ink. Not to mention all the other string instruments in the Music Department. He can still use other instruments, like percussion, right? It depends. The frequency might cause ripples in the ink. It depends on how it works. Personally, I'd like to think Sammy has a far more stable body, as his anatomy is not as see-through as the other lost ones. Sammy has a "skin" of sorts. The lost ones are just kind of bones, with ink dripping down. So Sammy may actually have a body under the ink, who knows! But my main point is that both Sammy and Jack are incapable of doing what their jobs and livelihoods were. Sammy can't compose his new body, which hinders the ability greatly. Jack can't sing. He was the more vocal of the two.

That's just a small bit of what they could think of. Idk that's just kinda been what I think about when it comes to Sammy.

[krispdreemurr]

might as well lay things out on the record

i believe the endgame ship is suselle. they are ending up together. they are kissing on purpose. I do not see Kris ending up w any characters who have been introduced or like... rly any other canon pairings

in terms of crushes, tho:

-kris has a crush on susie but has no desire to act on it given like. wanting Noelle to be happy, self deprecation, being honestly content just being best buds with Susie forever, the player situation etc. susie does not know about this and I think is still sorting out what friendship feels like so. (i have softened somewhat since early fandom days abt krusie now that ch2 happened and also the weird misgendering girly-susie ppl have vanished lmao. just don't think it's endgame and alas don't think toby fox will write poly)

-ralsei has crushes on Susie and Kris but will act on neither. Susie is a lesbian and Kris is horrified by the entire concept/is too aware of what Ralsei represents to consider it. sorry ralsei

-berdly has a crush on susie. Susie is still a lesbian. he may attempt to flirt w Kris and Kris will find it incredibly hilarious then kick his ass at smash again

-noelle we know about. she is powerful and gay

-susie is just happy to be here :)

[theresawritesstuff]

Maisel: An 18 year old Esther announces at Yom Kippur that she’s changing her last name to Weissman-Bruce. Chaos ensues.

So, little personal author fun fact... While my situation was different from Esther's growing up, I very likely would have taken my step father's family name had I not gotten married right out of high school. So stepfather/daughter stuff like this is definitely has a place in my heart.

Love the prompt! Enjoy the chaos ❤️

Yom Kippur 1976

"I changed my name."

The table fell silent for quite possibly the first time in family history. Certainly the first she could remember.

"What?" her mother asked finally, swallowing down her bite of food.

"I changed my last name. I'm not Esther Maisel anymore," she repeated.

More stunned silence followed.

"When?" Mama wondered.

"Just before fall registration. I had been thinking about doing it for a while and it seemed like as good a time as any. Save the hassle of changing it later with school records, signing up for classes, eventual diplomas…"

Papa Abe nodded sagely to himself at her logic. "I do not miss the clerical errors of academia. The number of spelling mistakes I caught at Columbia…"

Pop finally got over his shock enough to speak. Unfortunately.

"What do you mean you changed your name? You're a Maisel."

"Not legally anymore," Esther countered into her wine glass. "At least not according to a lot of paperwork I had to file."

"Don't get smart with me, young lady. This is serious," Pop warned.

"Too late," Chiam muttered under his breath, prompting his mother to choke back a barely stifled laugh.

"What'd she say?" Grandpa Moishe adjusted his hearing aid.

"Esther changed her name," Ethan replied casually, returning to his chicken.

He was the only one who wasn't surprised. 

Because he was the only one who already knew.

Grandpa Moishe nodded, satisfied with the answer. "Oh. Good for you, pumpkin."

"I always thought the matching sibling initials was a weird trend," Grandma Shirley chimed.

"So what are we calling you now? Deborah?" Grandpa asked.

Esther groaned. "God no, there's so many Debbies on campus already."

"Are you one of those transexuals, honey? Because we'll still love you no matter what," Grandma Shirley promised.

Ethan nearly spit his drink across the table, earning a pat on the back from Kitty beside him.

"Just as long as you don't go parading around in an ill fitting suit," Grandpa amended.

"Nope. Still Esther Grandma. Not that kind of name change," she replied.

"How do you two know what a transexual is?" Ethan wondered, fighting back a laugh.

Grandma Shirley's eyes lit up at the chance to tell the tale. "We saw that movie! The one with all the singing and the thrusting. It was very sparkly. I think there were aliens at one point?"

"I don't know. I fell asleep around when Meatloaf showed up," Grandpa admitted, unimpressed.

"We thought we were going to see that new boxing movie."

"It was not about boxing."

"The songs were catchy though!"

"Very catchy."

Susie barely concealed her amusement as she looked pointedly across the table at Mama.

"That's so going in your act," she muttered knowingly.

Mama gave her friend a look. It was true, but not the time.

"You can't just change your last name," Pop insisted indignantly.

Her stepfather scoffed. "Why not? I did."

"Stay out of this, Lenny," Pop barked.

"We're in my house," Lenny reminded him.

"And she's my kid," Pop spat back.

Lenny tossed down his napkin and started to stand, the limits of his patience finally reached.

"Oh shit," Uncle Noah breathed, preparing for a scuffle to break out and looking a bit too excited about it.

Mama put a hand on Lenny's arm in an attempt to keep the peace. "Joel–"

"I changed it to Weissman-Bruce," Esther blurted over the mounting chaos, bringing the table to another uncharacteristic standstill.

"What?" Pop looked like he might have an aneurism.

"Really?"

Esther turned at the awe in her stepfather's voice.

"Yes."

Lenny swallowed, his eyes getting misty as Mama squeezed his hand, looking between the two equally touched.

Oh shit. Of all the people she expected to cry during the course of this conversation, her money had not been on Lenny. 

Herself, maybe. 

Grandma Shirley had been the front runner. But Lenny…

"Cool. Welcome to Team Hyphen," her little sister Lilah quipped, looking up from her book.

Esther couldn't help the breathless laugh that escaped her. "Thanks Birdie," she whispered.

"We'll teach you the secret handshake later," Ari offered, earning himself a light smack on the back of the head from Mei.

He gave Esther a wink across the table all the same, the lovable little mensch.

She smiled and gave him a nod in agreement.

It would have been so easy to resent her half sibling, to blame him for the way her relationship with their father had disintegrated over the years, for taking him away from her and Ethan. 

But she was smarter than that. She'd learned pretty quickly that the kids aren't the ones responsible for their parents' choices. 

And frankly she'd take her little brother over Pop just about any day of the week these days.

"You traded my name for his?" Pop growled, gesturing derisively to Lenny.

Mei turned to glare at him. "Joel–"

But Lenny wasn't the only one done with putting up with Joel Maisel for the evening.

"For fucks sake Pop, not everything is about you!" she cried.

"Language, young lady," Grandma Shirley gasped.

She barely registered the rebuke, venting, "It's not like I'm the only one left to carry on the family name for the next generation or some bullshit. You've got two sons. That's their job!"

Ethan looked up mid-bite. "It is?"

"That and dispatching really big bugs," Kitty confirmed in mock sympathy.

"Esther!" Grandma Rose reprimanded.

She rolled her eyes. "Grandma please. I was raised by two of the most foul mouthed entertainers in the country and had Susie as one of my primary babysitters. That is not the worst thing that has been said by a member of this family by a longshot."

"Why am I getting dragged into this?" Susie wondered through a bite of kugel.

Ari looked up. "Wait, what's our job?"

"Procreation and extermination, apparently," Ethan chuckled.

"College first," Mei reminded him in a veiled warning.

"What brought this about?" Mama wondered gently.

Esther exhaled a sigh. "I just…I'm going to be a scientist someday. And Mama, as much as I respect the work you've done to build your career, I can't walk into every classroom, interview, and workplace and hear 'oh hey just like the foxy comedienne who tells all those dick jokes! Say, you kind of look like her too'. I just can't. It's already hard enough getting anyone to take me seriously. I have always been a Weissman anyway. Papa Abe has said so since before I could read. It will make things easier and it just…felt right. So I did it. I didn't know how to tell you before."

"It's okay sweetie," her mother reassured her, taking her hand.

"So why tack Bruce on the end? People know his name too, you know. Why not just leave it at Weissman?" Pop demanded.

Her mother glared at him.

"You wanna know why?" Esther laughed mirthlessly. "Because he's earned it. I've earned it. Lenny has been more of a father to me in the past 14 years than you ever have been."

"What are you talking about? I've been there for you!"

"You've been in Chicago on and off for almost my entire childhood!"

She shook her head, so fed up she wasn't sure if she wanted to laugh or cry.

"And you know what? I get it. You felt like you had to follow Mei when she got her residency because of true love or whatever and yeah Mei is amazing. I get you not wanting to give up on that. And then Ari came along and that made things complicated. I get that part now.  But as a little kid all I knew then was that Daddy left. Again."

To his credit, Pop did look genuinely pained by her reply. "I split my time as best I could..."

"For a while, yeah," she admitted. "But it only took a few years before it felt like you stopped trying. Even when you were here it never felt like you cared. You'd check in with Ethan but sometimes I wondered if you even remembered I was there. And don't say you didn't know how to talk to me because you never even tried. Meanwhile, Lenny…" 

She blinked back tears thinking about all this so openly. "God, even when he was going through hell fighting for his career, dodging obscenity convictions by the skin of his teeth, staying sober when it would have been so much easier to fall off the wagon, he always was there for us when we needed him. He always cared. Always. And he never once stopped trying to do right by our family. He's the one who actually taught me how to ride a bike instead of just saying 'here watch your brother do it'. He's the one who helped me with my debate homework when the thought of public speaking made me want to hurl and let me talk his ear off about music and dumb science fiction novels and what Karen said in home economics and didn't laugh when I had to wear headgear for six months. I had braces by the way. But you wouldn't know that because you ran off to Chicago and left us."

"Esther…"

"I visited. I called. I'm here now. I–"

"So that just makes it all okay? I'm supposed to feel grateful? Honored to share your name because you decided to waltz back to New York now that Ethan's back stateside?"

She shook her head, getting up from the table.

"I'm still your father."

"No. No you're not."

"Esther."

"I need some air."

"Esther!"

"Joel." Mei put a hand on his arm. "Let her go."

It was Susie who eventually broke the silence, reaching for another piece of challah.

"You guys always did know how to throw one hell of a break fast."

The fall air was a welcome reprieve from inside as she collected herself on the fire escape. 

"Room out here for one more?"

She smiled slightly as Lenny came to sit beside her on the cool metal.

They let the sounds of the city fill the silence between them, Esther eventually letting herself slump against his shoulder.

"I didn't mean to tell everyone like that. It just…" 

"It's okay, sweetie," he murmured, wrapping an arm around her.

She nodded, sniffling as she wiped at her face with the back of her hand. "I don't care what he thinks. As far as I'm concerned he lost his fathering privileges a long time ago."

"You're an adult now. You get to decide what your relationship with him looks like."

She nodded again. Somehow it didn't make her feel better.

"What you said back there…"

"I know you haven't always been perfect but at least you've always tried. You did the work. You never stopped trying to be there for us. And you've owned up to your mistakes. I don't think he's ever done that."

She swallowed, looking up at him shyly.

"Is…is it too late to ask if I can call you Dad?"

Lenny smiled softly, hugging her tighter. "You can call me whatever you want. But Dad would be pretty fucking great."

"I've wanted to for a long time," she admitted. "I did once. Not to you, just to myself for a little while. Trying it out in my head back when you and Mama first got married. I slipped up and called you dad when I was talking to him over about… I don't know, some plans we had for the weekend or whatever. He took it about like he did back there on a smaller scale. I still wanted to call you Dad but I was little and wasn't brave enough to stand up to him. I was afraid I'd slip up and set him off. I guess I grew out of that."

"You and your mother sure know how to throw down a tirade when someone pushes you hard enough, I'll give you that," he chuckled. "But I'm proud of you for standing your ground. I mean it."

"He just makes me so mad sometimes. The way he just pretends everything is fine and normal no matter how long it's been."

"Oh I get it." Lenny shook his head. "We've had a tenuous truce over the years for the sake of you kids but…"

He let out a sigh through his nose.

"For what it's worth, I've always considered you and your brother my kids, no matter what you called me. Just as much as Kitty and Lilah."

"I know."

"You gonna be okay?"

Esther nodded. "Yeah."

He leaned over to kiss her hair before getting to his feet. "Love you."

He paused at the window before climbing in.

"I'm not saying you have to forgive him or let him in your life in any capacity you don't want to…But try not to stay too mad at him forever. It's not good for your health."

She heaved a tired sigh, knowing he was right.

"Maybe just a little longer?"

Lenny chuckled. "Okay. You've earned it."

"Hey...Will you let me know when he's gone so I can have some honey cake?"

Lenny nodded. "I'll send someone out with a big slice in a few minutes. That way you don't have to fight Susie for the last bit."

She smiled genuinely at that.

"Thanks Dad."

Lenny nodded, looking a little watery again at hearing her say it. 

Finally.

"No problem kiddo."

[elacular-kink]

Poly-techhic 3.5 A: Oops all feelings

This is a pretty direct sequel to chapter 3. It's a very short scene where Maya asks Olivia about her relationship with Susanna now that she finally has The Context. This includes No Hiccups, sadly.

Character Sheet

TW: Religious trauma, Shame (remembered, discussed), Abortion (discussed), Emotional meltdowns (remembered), Shitty teachers (remembered), Kids/teens dealing with kink stuff (remembered), Self-loathing (remembered, discussed), Complicated romantic feelings

"Hey, Liv!" I said while we were lying in my bed together. "Now that I know about Susie's cute hiccup thing, can I know the full story behind you and her?"

Liv sat up and pursed her lips for a moment. "I guess you can now, yeah. Well, it started in preschool. I only remember parts of it because we were so young, but the main thing I remember is that it was the first place where a lot of people started getting sick of my hiccups and telling me that. Teachers and other kids. They'd do things like try and make me drink water or hold my breath, even though I told them I knew that nothing worked. They didn't listen to me. And every time a new person tried, they didn't listen to me either. But I could feel that Susanna was watching me. She always was, but she never talked to me, and she never tried to cure me. So eventually I just came up and asked her why she was staring at me, and she yelled 'You're scary!' and ran away. So I guessed that that made sense. I assumed it was a racism thing." It was kind of crazy to me to imagine a four-year-old being able to "assume it was a racism thing".

"But one day we had a substitute teacher who was really really bothered by my hiccups. And she kept trying to cure me, and after water and holding my breath, they got weirder, and she kept touching me and trying to drag me places and I started crying, and then Susanna yelled at her. She yelled about how nothing cures me and said that if she didn't stop trying to, she'd beat the teacher up. So Susanna and I both got sent to the corner. I asked her why she was scared of me, and she said it was because she was scared of the hiccups. When I asked her why she'd never tried to cure me then, she said that just because she was scared of them didn't mean that they shouldn't exist. And then out of nowhere she just yelled 'I'm gonna be brave and face my fears!' After that, we were best friends. She was always around me, especially when I had the hiccups, and if anybody tried to cure me or give me crap about them, she'd yell at them or hit them. Susanna got in trouble a lot.

"At the end of that year, my older brother got expelled because he was too autistic for them, so he and I were both sent to public school. That was probably a good thing, and I was happy to go to the same school he was, but I didn't realize Susanna wouldn't be going there too until it was too late. We left the church too, so I couldn't find her through that either. So all through elementary and middle school, I still had the same experiences, but no Susanna to protect me or get angry at people for me. That's part of why I realized being honest was important. Even if a lot of people didn't listen to me when I said that nothing cured me or that I didn't like being touched, some people would listen, and they'd know that I always said that, so I'd have a sort of paper trail. A court record, I guess. That's also why I learned how to get pretty good at muffling my hiccups. I don't like doing that when I don't have to, though, so I usually avoid it these days.

"Then in high school, I saw Susanna again. As soon as I did, I hugged her, because she said I could hug her any time. She was really confused and angry, but when I told her who I was, she remembered me right away. I was confused too because she acted like she didn't want me around, but then I remembered how she'd stared at me and run away from me when we were little, and I figured that she might just be scared of me again. But she'd decided to face her fear then, so she'd probably do it again now. And we had a bunch of classes together anyway, so I was going to spend time with her. I tried to reconnect with her with things I remembered her liking. Some of them worked, like talking to her about computer games. Or video games more broadly. But others didn't work, and I didn't understand why until later. Like, one of her favorite things to do when we were little was to play doctor when I had the hiccups and give me examinations. I never minded that, but when I asked if she'd like to do that again, she nearly exploded. I knew it wasn't really age-appropriate, but that still didn't make any sense to me until I learned about her hiccup fetish.

"Even though she acted differently, she was still the same Susanna Jane Butler I remembered. She'd get between me and anyone who tried to give me shit about my hiccups. Actually, she wouldn't let people give me shit about anything, even when I was the one who was wrong. That's something I still feel like I have to be careful about; not letting her act like I'm always right. Or convince me of that. When I say that I'm always right, I'm mostly being facetious, but there's a part of me that really believes it. And I think there's a part of her that really believes it too.

"She was really serious about catholicism still and got into arguments all the time with people about gay marriage and abortion. She's really embarrassed about that now. I was sort of able to guide her away from that. For the abortion thing, I ended up finding out that restricting access doesn't actually decrease the number of abortions that happen. Since she actually thought it was about wanting people to not kill babies, that made a huge difference to her, and it got her started changing her mind. Gay marriage was harder because there's nothing objective or numbery about that. It was also harder because she's gay, so I think she figured that if it was something about her, that something was probably bad. It's fucked up. Telling her I was bisexual didn't help. It just made her try to convince me to only ever date men and tell me I was lucky I had that option." Olivia frowned. "Susanna can be a real asshole when she gets envious of people."

"Jesus. So she was way fucking worse in high school." Imagining her like that, I knew I would have hated her fucking guts. "Uh, not that I'm not happy you did, but why the fuck did you keep hanging out with her?"

"Because she was still my best friend. I'd never had anyone who was as good a friend as her. And she was still a good friend, even if it wasn't the same as before and even if there was a lot more harder stuff than there used to be. She'd still do things like protect me from people who were mean, share her food with me, give me her sweaters when it was cold, and sing songs for me when I got overloaded. She's always been good at helping me with sensory overload. Part of it is probably that her little sister has some cognitive issues and has meltdowns kind of like mine, but she was good at it in pre-k too, so I think she might also just have always had a knack for it. Susanna's a person who always tries to do what she thinks is right. She tries way too hard a lot of the time, and when she's wrong it's really annoying and stupid, but when she's right and when she's helping people, it makes her someone really really special.

"When I learned about her hiccup thing, I don't remember exactly what set it off. It seemed like nothing to me. Susanna would probably remember it better. But at some point in junior year, Susanna flipped out when I tried to hug her, then ran off and locked herself in a bathroom. That's kind of her default panic response, I think. When I found her, she was crying. She only cried once or twice when we were in pre-k, and I'd never seen her cry in high school, so I knew that something was serious and bad. She said that I shouldn't come near her and that she was bad and evil. I told her that was stupid, and she yelled at me that that was because I didn't know the truth. So I told her that I knew that she was gay and she had a crush on me and that was fine. I was right, but, um..." It was rare for Olivia to use a filler word, and her flat face twisted into a small cringe. "That didn't help. That didn't help at all. So we fought a bunch. She actually had some grievances stored up. She doesn't do that anymore, especially not to me, because that's something I fear a lot. But she'd let small things that she felt were unfair for her to be upset about build up and they burst out. I started crying too, and crying almost always gives me the hiccups, so she came out of the stall she'd been hiding in and tried to run away, but I grabbed her and asked if she wanted me to leave her alone. She didn't say yes or no, she just screamed. And then we both got taken to the principal's office. The principal tried to get me to drink water, and she said 'That never fucking cures her you stupid piece of shit!' So she got suspended. I just got detention.

"I missed her like crazy the whole time she was away. And when she came back, I told her that. She told me that she missed me too, but that I needed to know the truth about her and she'd tell me after school. After school, we climbed to the top of a tree so we could have some privacy. Once we were there, she told me about her hiccup fetish, and she broke down crying, talking about how she'd been using me and doing bad things to me even back when we were little, and by never trying to cure me and letting me hug her while I had the hiccups, she was objectifying me and abusing me and...honestly, at some point I stopped hearing the words. Because she was saying a lot of things, but underneath it was really just 'I'm a bad person and I made you dirty' over and over and over again. So I told her that she wasn't a bad person and that she didn't make me dirty. I told her that I didn't feel like she used me, and I didn't mind if I turned her on. I even kind of liked it now that I knew about it. And I guess after that we were sort of dating.

"It didn't take me very long after that to realize I was aromantic. It was honestly a little frustrating because I knew I wanted to be with her, but I couldn't really give her the thing she wanted. I didn't know a lot about polyamory back then, so I didn't realize we had options, but I knew I couldn't give her what she'd want from a 'girlfriend,' so I told her I couldn't be that. I was really clear that we could still have sex though. It took her a while to understand that. But once we were actually fully having sex, I really liked it, and I've liked doing that with her ever since. So she's not my girlfriend and I'm not hers, but she's still my best friend. And we have sex. A lot."

"...damn." I scratched the back of my head. "I knew you two were kind of married, but that's some soulmate-type shit."

"That's stupid, but I get what you mean." I snorted. "I'm an atheist. Susanna says she is too, but she's really just an uncatholic. That's a really specific kind of thing. And to the extent that she still believes in god, I think she might believe something similar. That we might have some kind of divine connection or something. I don't think that. But I know that I love her, and I've never loved anyone else more than her. And I know that I like spending time with her more than anyone else." She took a slow, deep breath. "I've been learning that she isn't enough though. Not for me. And I'm not enough for her. And that's scary. But learning it is a good thing. Because we shouldn't just have each other. We should have other people. Other people we share, and other people who are just for us. Even if we do spend our whole lives together like I'd like to, I'm so glad that we'll have other people too. Even if I don't know who all of those are yet. So I guess what I'm saying is..." she smiled at me. A real, big, serious Olivia smile. "Thank you for being one of our first people, Maya."

Holy shit, marry me.

"No." 

I froze. "...fuck, did I say that out loud?"

"Yeah." Olivia didn't look particularly bothered, but I knew that didn't necessarily mean she wasn't.

"Shit, sorry." I rubbed my face. "Uh...for what it's worth, I didn't really mean you. I sort of meant...your relationship? That, uh...that's probably not better?"

"I don't understand what you meant, but I know that that's the kind of hyperbole you think and speak in." After an awkward moment, Olivia started talking again. "I'd like clarification on why you said that, though."

"Honestly, I'd like that too." I laughed weakly. She stared at me. Fuck, she could make eye contact hard when she wanted to. "...I'm catching feelings for you two. And when I do, that's scary, because I've kinda steamrolled people with 'em before."

"I won't let you do that to me," Olivia said without even thinking. "That might mean breaking up with you at some point, but I don't see any reason that it would as of now. And Susanna definitely won't let you do that to her."

A laugh forced itself out of me. "Yeah. I think that'd be kinda like trying to steamroll one of those fuckin' cement poles that stick out of the ground at Target. Or something."

"For now, though, I'm having fun with you." Olivia's big, real smile came back. "And I'm so glad to have someone I can talk about Susanna with for real now. So I'm really happy you like her. And I really like that she likes you back."

I shook my head and sighed. "Yeah. I like that too, Liv." I hovered an arm over her shoulders and she leaned into my side, letting me wrap her up and cuddle her. "Yeah. I like that a lot."

[desultory-novice]

(Warning, inadverdently long ask) On characters being represented, do you think that the fanbase downplays Magolor's redemption too much? Like don't get me wrong, Magolor being treated as completely innocent is also an issue, and he still has his vices, but I feel like the other extreme is a problem too. Maybe it's just a vocal minority, but I've seen people say that Magolor is outright faking being redeemed both before and after the release of the Magolor Epilogue (though Star Allies did not help).

Especially regarding the "Old Friend" mask. Its a minor thing, but I die a little on the inside whenever someone brings that up as one of Magolor's "sins" or even proof that he has not changed. Or when people claim that it's a major slap in the face to Taranza, even though we don't even get Taranza's opinion on the matter! As far as we know, it could easily be a innocuous tribute to Taranza's late friend (of course, I like to think the mask might even be Taranza's own idea). It doesn't help that Taranza is also portrayed in a one-dimensional manner regarding the loss of Joronia/Sectonia (again canon does not help), and his character has even become the subject of mockery among the fans over their own collective take of the character.

Fun coincidence- I almost brought the Joronia mask thing up when writing my Blorbo post!! I think it is something that, like the Star Allies skit with Susie and Meta Knight, some people are judging it from outside the actual perspective it is being presented to us.

(And I'll never like when bringing in outside context is being used to claim a character is a horrendous bastard. >_> It's KIRBY. View it through a different lens if it helps you creatively but don't twist it into something it's not and then talk like you're preaching canon.)

Now, I'm not sure I've necessarily run into the people who are downplaying his redemption (or maybe I'm mistaking them for people just having a little laugh at Magolor's expense. But like you said with Taranza, it can get tiresome when characters are played for the saaaaaame joke over and over again) but I think it would be silly to do so with ANY serious intent at this point.

He's definitely not innocent of all misdeeds - he lied to Kirby and the others long before the crown literally sunk its talons into him(1) - but he is a victim. And to say that he would fake his redemption after DX is just plain false. We have evidence he regretted the Master Crown incident and wanted to be free of it and despite feeling like he didn't deserve rescue, Kirby RESCUED him and in the process made him realize how important their friendship truly was. That's all canon.

-

(1) I will say if you buy into the wild but not without evidence HC that the crown already had Magolor fairly well brainwashed by the time he landed on Halcandra, you can view him as slightly more innocent. Course, at a certain point, you have to decide how much you're going to exonerate him for doing/saying under his own right mind and if you do that too much, then you're basically admitting his entire personality in RtDL was just the Master Crown talking through him.

-

Back to the mask, to say that the very SIGHT of the Joronia mask or the Max mask would traumatize Taranza or Susie is... kinda silly, also. Do these people think that after someone dies, you just throw away everything that reminds you of them or shout angrily at someone who shows you a picture or a memento of the deceased? Grief comes in lots of different forms, yeah but...

I'm going to get personal for a moment but after my father died, my mother was grateful whenever an old friend dug out or recovered a photo or recording of dad, or posted their memories of him.

Let's just make this clear:

The mask is a tribute

That's what Merry Magoland IS! The whole park! It is decorated to look like Magolor but under the surface, the whole thing is a tribute to Kirby, Kirby's friends, and all they've been through!

...I sometimes worry with the "Ooh, Magolor did the mask to prank Taranza and now he's crying!" "Ooh, DMK corrupted Sectonia and now Taranza is crying or wants to kill him!" that maybe...I dunno... It's hard to explain but it doesn't make me feel great that Taranza always gets caught up in this kind of thing... It just feels kinda...

We do have to fill in the blanks about how the characters would respond to these things because the game doesn't tell us, but like I said up top, it feels very out of bounds for the tone laid out in Kirby the game series to assume that this act of Magolor's was done to harm Taranza or that Taranza would feel harmed by it.

Let's get Doylian for a second! 

All the masks were included by HAL Labs as a purposeful celebration and a fun form of fanservice so the players could see their favorite characters, including characters they hadn't seen in a long time or never got a clear look at! Their creation was entirely positive!

...Does it now make sense to say that in universe, these masks would TRAUMATIZE a character who saw them? That the character responsible for making these masks was intentionally being a sneaky little bastard by doing so? If it does, I encourage you to carefully re-read the above paragraph. Thanks!

[zukkacore]

⭐⭐ pls pls pls share thoughts about who can blame a girl

Thanks so much for this!!! Tbh it's fun to talk abt Who Can Blame a Girl b/c its so short n sweet so it does kinda feel like the one that takes up the least oxygen but i am. proud of it and it is cute but to be fair it also is kinda uncomplicated in my mind so i'll see if i have any thoughts...

(For the record im very "she let me hit b/c i use his pronouns interchangeably" about dyke!Jace. I don't care how she's referred to really. In fact, for most of this i just use he bc idc. In case that's confusing.)

It's a song rec in the notes but actually the inspiration for Who Can Blame Girl is b/c i'd had the song Susie Save Your Love by Allie x n Mitski stuck in head for like forever (That and like A Ton of Chappell Roan) and the song is basically about this girl who is like. In love with her friend who is asking for a ride b/c she needs a break from a shitty boyfriend. Which. Zarajaceporter anyone. I just was really taken with this idea of Zara being very taken by Jace in this kind of... vulnerable, messy, unpalatable state i guess? B/c Jace is so buttoned up and curated at Aguefort. And like. I don't expect everyone to get on the dyke!Jace train but obviously i'm very taken with her and love her she is the soft butch of my life < 3

I guess what i CAN talk about is that. I think it was a fun thought experiment to kinda. Be in Zara's head. I have so much affection for her in canon and i think she just has this very playful, impish, yet ultimately very kind center to her based on how she interacts with Fig that is very heartwarming and as much as i love to torment Jace and put him in Situations, I do think the person who could understand and empathize with his situtation the most truly is zara.

I've talked abt the parallels between Vampirism and Jace in his post shatterstar state. They're both liminal undead existences that are based on this fundamental want that if satisfied would bring harm to others and make the people they love hate them! And like. Zara is very kinda uncomplicatedly Good in FHJY but it was fun to play around with the interiority of a warlock vampire who is in a relationship with a celestial! The whole Thing sort of revolves around this weird unspoken arrangement that concocts out of the blue when Jace calls zara. Zara is all about agreements. Negotiations that you make with the people around you. So when it comes to the gender stuff:

Jace is quiet. “No one would ever want to see that. I—I’m not brave like you, Zara. You’re always you, and—My life is petty, and small, and I—” His voice breaks. “I—I’m comfortable keeping things the way that—” “Hey. You think I don’t make compromises?” says Zara. She's thinking about that word—brave. Jace has no idea what it takes for a vampire like her to "be herself" in a way he imagines. “I make compromises every day.

It's like. This ties so into my belief that pre-shatterstar jace is egoless. He doesn't want to rock the boat. He's comfortable, until Porter comes along. In a way, Zara is unflinchingly herself. She's a hot goth vampire and she's not shy about that. But I think she'd have to reconcile with. Just living in a world that is afraid of her existence. She's free from Jace's POV, but she's not as free as he thinks. She has to be at peace with the idea ther her very existence is just going to be an abomination to some people (and like. It's dnd so i don't know how popular that attitude would be but we have seen religious zealots in text so im sure those people exist). And she's talking about gender stuff but she's also unwittingly kinda speaking to the shatterstar part of his life. Be unflinchingly yourself. You want to live. And sometimes, people will hate you, or you will do harm.

Meanwhile, what is Zara getting out of this time with Jace? Some sort of connection? I think feeling a connection was very thrilling for Jace. That's why he asks, "You felt it, too?" But what does Zara want?

I feel like Zara's motivation is summed up here. Initially, it was curiousity and obligation. She liked seeing him in a state she never had. And he needed a favor, so she felt like she ought to come through. But this is the real reason:

"We can drive for as long as you want. My entire night is free. Obviously"

To me, this is her expressing patience. Patience that she's willing to extend b/c she feels for Jace. But it's also expressing loneliness.

I very much did contrive this bc I'm just a silly billy who has been wanting to write something about Jace n Zara hooking up in a car. And like. I'm cringefail and writing hookups is hard so im always obsessed with what the emotional throughline is for a scene like that and like. I kept coming back to Zara and her celestial lover. I think it's Zara wanting something tangible and messy and faulty.

and yet Zara for a brief terrible moment wants this, with her, over transcendence, over ethereal, ascended, over purity and goodness because this is real , it’s mundane, it’s here , it’s something she doesn’t have to wait for every time her lover comes calling, if anyone knew how desperate Zara truly is they’d never see her the same way again

Like. It's tangible and present and we don't KNOW what a relationship with and angel would be like. But it sounds so... pure. So sterile almost? And textually in FHJY Zara is very mature and healed, but I was like. The idea of a warlock finding a relationship so tantalizing that they would be willing to fuck up their other contracts was just so delicious to me. And Vampires are all about temptation.

Zara can’t help herself, she wants —the same dark want that compels her feed, the same hunger for something she knows is going to destroy her, destroy everyone around her—and seriously, fuck Porter anyway, how could he ever want Jace as profoundly and completely as she feels herself wanting right now,

Like!!!! Yes Zara is better than this but im toxic and want to reduce her to the gutter w the boys! As if it's my fault! I'm not gonna quote the hornier parts but like esp the stuff about like. Zara reconciling with darker wants that—she's not as bad as Porter, but she's a vampire, it's about consumption, about taking, about predation, about desire (it’s also about penetration. lol). She's doesn't let that shit rule her, its there, she does stumble. Like. Was it a good or bad thing that she left it open-ended at the end? I mean. It's good for us for sure. I want them to get into a messy situationship in the wake of Jace's messy breakup with Porter (yes. In my mind this is THEE breakup from IYWD too. The real one).

But like. It was always going to be open ended. Zara did him a favor. This is a contract. There's always a give and take in a relationship. He'll be there for her too at some point. That's how it works.

[cherry-blossom-qf]

Necro, who was the kindest person in your life? And what was the hardest sacrifice you've made— literally or figuratively?

Apple Core, what was your most challenging experience as a Sensei?

Prince, O lord of fashion, which if your fits and/or forms is your absolute favorite?

Magomon, what's your opinion on Tamers in general?

Officer, my good sir, what was the toughest case you've helped or had to solve? Any solo cases?

UT, what are your favorite holiday traditions in the Underground and Surface world?

🩸: "There hasn't been a sacrifice thats been that hard for me to perform. The only thing I truly regret sacrificing is my ability to smell normal ever again. Seriously, I tried bathing multiple times and used every single perfume, cologne, all the scent products... AND I STILL CANT GET RID OF THE ROITING CORPSE SMELL!!

As for who's the kindest person I know? Well... the obvious answer would be Kirby... but there's also this snowman that has been helping me with my research, perhaps I could talk about them some other time."

-

🍏: "Most challenging things as a sensei? Well, to perfectly honest, it's the students that are, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, require a lot of patience from me. For example; I have this one student who is just, again I mean this in the nicest way possible, a stubborn wanna-be-cool-guy.

Don't get me wrong, he does have a lot of potential to be a Skylander and I can see him becoming one in the future... BUT he's just has a really bad habit of wanting to do things all by himself because he's 'so cool' with his high running speeds and cool dragon sword, only to get his ass handed to him one way or the other. I thought Blades' cockiness when he became a Skylander was bad, that student takes the cake!!!"

-

👑: "Favorite outfit? My goodness!! That's like picking between my own children!! But... if I had to pick just one.... like, you holding a knife to my back and forcing me to pick just one, then I'm gonna pick the robes I wore to my wedding. They were so sparkly and beautiful, I truly felt special on my special day~! As for forms, the Prince Form is my favorite. I like the height boost, elegance, and a sense of power in that form, hehehe~"

-

🎩: "My thoughts on Tamers? Well, I have said before that there have been tales and legends of humans being involved with digimon. I've always found it fascinating, as those legends have told of humans granting digimon power they could never get on their own. I kinda wished to see something like that happen one day... Little did I know that I was gonna get a human myself, hehe!!

Susie has been lots of fun to travel with, and the power she grants me and Marxamon has been incredible (tho I wish evolving into Crownedmon was so mentally scaring and painful)!! I could have never asked for a better human partner!! Me and Marxamon are her 'goodiest boys'!! 'Goodiest' is not a grammatically correct word, but I let it slide because she gives me hugs and pets!♡♡♡"

-

🚔: "Funnily enough, my toughest case was actually my first solo case!! The case of Artie Flopshark, a poker guru that was supposed to be dead, as he was killed by Flint Paper. According to some of the records, Artie's bank account was still active, depositing and withdrawing money regularly as if he was alive. And there had been reports of Artie being near abandoned graveyards across the country. Flint Paper couldn't track him down for the life of him, so he assumed it had been some kind of 'witchcraft' that made this guy untraceable. So Flint gave the case to me since I'm a mage and stuff (witchcraft and my magic are obviously two different things, but I let it slide). Sam and Max had a lot of faith that I could handle this on my own, so I took on the challenge just to make them proud. The weeks of trying to find this guy felt like the longest weeks of my life! But I was able to find him.

Long Story Short; It turned out Artie Flopshark was revived as a zombie like monster by a bunch of teenage wizards that were messing around with dark arts (kinda sounds familiar). When the wizards successfully revived him, they freaked out and left him behind. Artie was able to get a hold on that dark arts book that they coincidently dropped and used it to get around the county's graveyards. He was hosting nightly poker nights to get his funds back for his new undead life, inviting all sorts of creeps and ghouls to play games of Texas Hold'em. In fear of being killed again by Flint, Artie used magic to keep himself untrackable from any living being on earth. Which I was able to work around the effects because I'm not from earth, hehe~!!

I felt kinda bad for him since even mentioning Flint Paper made him scream in panic, so did Artie a favor and helped him get a restraining order on Flint. I got my paycheck and a celebration surprise from Sam and Max that they planned for me for completing my first solo case, a VIP trip to The Inventory for drinks, dinner, and poker."

-

💙: "Well damn, ol' gunner boy spoke in whole paragraphs! Ok, favorite holiday.... I gotta give it to Halloween, dude. Monsters seem to enjoy Halloween a lot, and I can see why, as my best memories here are sometimes related to Halloween. Like on our first trick-or-treating, Frisk dressed up as a witch and made me their little 'black cat' by dressing me in a black cat onesie. I was carried around in their backpack as we went around the neighborhood. And when I got my monster form perfected, me and Frisk did even cooler matching costumes! Mario and Luigi, Dipper and Mabel, Steven and Amethyst, Freddy and Bonnie, heck we even Sans and Papyrus a few times! (which the bros really liked)

Even though I moved out of Toriel's house after I got married, Frisk and I still go trick-or-treating together every Halloween with our matching costumes. And Frisk hasn't grown out of trick-or-treating just yet, so we'll be continuing this little tradition of ours for a few more years! And I'll be enjoying every moment."

-

🦋: "Man I sure do love being involved!" -he said to no one.

(Congratulations Blaze, you changed my QnA formatting just for this ask! Eff you and have a nice day!)

[agentravensong]

I feel this is a little mean, but the Youtube Theory Crew feel like they are way behind Tumblr Theory Crew in both breadth and depth of their analysis of the game.

You know what? Fair.

I mean, some of those people are actually on tumblr (Dorked at least) and there are specific which I'd say some of them have covered more in-depth than any tumblr posts I've at least seen. For example, there's HalfBreadChaos's element video, Jaru's shadow crystal video, and Andrew Cunningham has what is in my mind the definitive DeltaRune narrator video with everything we have as of Chapter 2.

But I can definitely see where you're coming from. Like, on the one hand, I think the tumblr theory community can be so wide in their breadth (partly because it's a lot easier to justify typing up a rambly tumblr post about random details than scripting recording and editing a whole YouTube video about such details) that there's probably a lot of stuff it gets obsessed over that isn't really relevant. But it does also allow for catching on to things the YouTube theorists miss; like, no one's made a video focused on the water stuff in DeltaRune yet as far as I know (though the original ocean.gg observation that originally led me down that road was brought to my attention by a HalfBreadChaos video). Maybe I'll be the one to do that. Maybe.

And in terms of character analysis in particular, I think the tumblr theory community has the YouTube theory community beat by a mile. Not to say I'd agree with the takes of everyone in the tumblr community, but it at least feels like there's a lot more thought and focus on it here. Like, I don't think I've ever seen a Youtube video that really Gets Noelle, Susie, Ralsei, or the Kris - Susie - Noelle dynamics the way certain people here on tumblr do (though if people have recs, I'd love to hear them!). I'm pretty sure tumblr caught on to the idea that "hey, maybe Kris's red eyes and knife trick doesn't mean they're going to go around killing everyone in Chapter 2" way faster than YouTube did.

And while I haven't watched, say, Jaru's Spamton analysis video (and I get how it must suck to put so much into a project like that only for a bunch new canon info to drop and potentially upend a lot of it), that's because of how turned off I was by his Frisk & Chara takes and other vids I've vagueposted about here.

(Also the fact that Jaru made that whole Frisk - Chara - Kris video and just casually implied via attributing a line of narration to Frisk that he hadn't even heard of NarraChara? Like, it's one thing to not believe it, but to just take for granted that Frisk is narrator implies he did literally zero research on other people's takes on Chara that would have least made him question that.)

(Also he made a video about whether DeltaRune was a different timeline or an entirely separate universe to UT and decided it was a different timeline because otherwise there was no way to justify how similar the two were, only to admit later that he hadn't even thought of the alternate explanation of them being parallel universes? A very popular sci-fi concept? And, even worse, when people were bringing it up in the comments, he refused to give it genuine consideration until it was the only way to make his Sans theory work? Like, how am I supposed to believe you're actually willing to be proven wrong like you say you are after that?)

The only exceptions to this character analysis point in my mind are Dorked, who, again, is also a tumblr person, and Andrew Cunnigham's videos on Kris specifically. He gets them.

It was interesting listening to those podcast videos and seeing the places where I heartily agreed with the Youtubers' takes (like how most of them agreed that pianpian does not disprove that Kris can play piano - though they were mainly countering another YouTuber, Two Left Thumbs, in that section), and then the places where I was kind of disappointed by their analysis. Like, my man Andrew being kind of surprised at Noelle's growing relevance to the story, as if she isn't equal with Kris in being at the thematic center of the narrative (in my opinion anyway).

And then the whole thing where they were talking about how the dark worlds work and largely seemed to come to a consensus that their histories are backloaded in when the fountains are made... I talked about this in a tumblr server already so I'll just copy-paste that. For context, someone else brought up the topic and was talking about how they dislike the theory because:

there's no way to prove it or disprove it. Very simply: if they darkworlds didn't exist before they were made then there would be no NARRATIVE reason to have it be a function of them to just make shit up about their histories. Functionally it is identical to if they had always existed.

To which I added:

"i feel like making it so the dark worlds only exist when a fountain's made also takes agency away from the darkners in a way that makes them less compelling as characters. "like, when i posted about how noelle's interactions with spamton as detailed in the bluecircle secret page is pretty good proof that spamton and, by extension, the dark worlds, were around before the fountain, there were a few people in the notes who said they hold to the other theory and that the dark worlds were just drawing on that history when making spamton. "and i didn't response to any of them, but, like... that's just less interesting to me. i like the idea that spamton, as a character with agency, was reaching out to lightners and had this moment of connection with noelle. if they were actually just random emails that later "became spamton" or whatever... first of all, it really doesn't feel like it's written that way, the writing makes it feel like those emails were sent by someone with some agency, and secondly... it's lame. imo."

I get that it complicates our understanding of what the fountains actually do (Queen does say the Knight "deigned to create this world" that day, for example) and the exact relation between the darkners as characters and the items they're supposedly derived from, so I wouldn't necessarily say it's the easier, obvious answer... but at this point, if you actually look at all the evidence, I think it has to be some variant of "the darkners have always been sentient in some form and the dark worlds existed in some form before the Knight started making fountains". And a lot of tumblr people already figured that out, for both that reason and the more thematic reason I talked about.

And this is all without talking about the wide gulf between UT tumblr and YouTube theorists. Like, there are genuinely great UT analysis vids, talking not just about lore, but characters and themes. But, like, you know that tumblr post that goes ""undertale's meaning finally explained" actually, youtube man, tumblr user girl16378 figured it out years ago"? That post is spot on.

TL;DR, the tumblr and YouTube UT/DR theory communities have different strengths and weaknesses. They're both huge, and there are great thinkers and shitty takes in both, so your impression of both is gonna largely come down to which creators you happen to see.

That being said, I totally get it, anon.

(also subscribe to andrew cunningham and halfbreadchaos. and dorked. do it.)

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Ring in the New Year

A/N: I know it's February, but I had this idea, and I wanted to run with it. I hope it's a good one. It's just a one-shot. It's kinda smutty.

18+ MINORS DNI

Summary: Steve and Eddie spend News Years Eve ringing in '87 while everyone else spends it with their families. Robin walks in on the aftermath.

"I'm so sorry, Steve!" Robin exclaimed. "You know I want you there but my uncle Erwin is coming and he already missed Christmas so of course, he can't miss Christmas. You know he feels about your father, and of course, I keep telling him that you're nothing like him, but he doesn't believe because he's heard about King Steve. I mean, it was all from me, so I am so, so sorry. You know mom and dad love you. If they could, they would totally choose you over Uncle Erwin, but Erwin is dad's brother, and if Grandma were still around, she would disapprove of dad's decision because they're brothers. Family is more important,  she would say. You're our real family, Steve. . .Are you laughing at me, Steven Edward Harrington?"

Steve was stacking video tapes on their shelves while Robin ranted on. He wanted to see how long she could go on for, to see if she could beat her record and she almost did. She was so close.

"I'm really not mad, Robin. Like always, I'll be fine," Steve said grinning.

"How long ago could you have stopped me?" Robin asked him.

"From the very beginning?" Steve replied.

"I hate you. You weren't timing me again were you? I hate it when you do that," Robin said, glaring at him.

"Your middle name is Edward?!" Eddie exclaimed, popping up from behind the shelf.

Steve and Robin jumped, screaming. The video tapes in Steve's fell as he stumbled backwards.

"Jesus, man! When did you get here?!" Steve exclaimed. "And don't do that!"

"Probably about the same time you started timing Robin," Eddie grinned. "And you didn't answer my question. Your middle name is Edward?"

"Yes, my middle name is Edward," Steve said rolling his eyes as he began to pick up the tapes.

"You've taken more years off of my life!" Robin exclaimed, hitting him, and stormed into the breakroom.

"Ah, she'll get over it," Eddie said giggling. "You know. . .Edward is my name. Has it always been your middle name?"

"What? You think I've become so obsessed with you that I changed my middle name to your first name?" Steve asked, incredulous.

"I didn't say it, you did," he replied, rocking back forth on the balls of his feet with his hands behind his back. "You are always hanging out with me."

"You're always showing up at my house!" He exclaimed as he finished stocking the shelf.

"You could have kicked me out or called the cops at any time but you didn't!" He exclaimed in a sing song voice.

"Yeah, I only did that because Dustin loves you so much and because the cops are probably tired of looking at your ugly mug," he said with a smirk.

"Wow, you're as deep as the river in Egypt with your obsession of me," he said, leaning towards him.

"What are you doing here, Munson?" Steve asked.

"I came here to talk about the fact you're practically stalking me. Showing up to my club meetings, to my house. . .it's a serious problem Stevie," Eddie said mockingly.

"Well, you have your club meetings at your house where I drop the kids off to play your game of Danger and Dragons," Steve replied. "And if anyone is stalking anyone, it's you. Afterall, you showed up at my place of work."

"Likely story, Other Eddie, and let's call it even with mutual stalking, shall we?" Eddie asked, pausing as he followed him to the counter and leaned against it, watching Steve move behind it. "So, from what I've heard is that you are going to be alone on New Years Eve too?"

"Yeah, Dustin and Claudia will still be in Ohio with Susie's family. Max went with Lucas and his family to visit his extended family. It would be weird to spend it with my ex's family and with her boyfriend's family," Steve said. "So, yeah, I will be alone."

"What about your family, Steve? What about your parents?" he asked softly, knowing the answer he was going to get.

"Oh, you know. . . Dad's busy with work and mom's. . .," Steve trailed off, waving his hand as if he wanted push away the conversation.

"Trying to stop your dad from filling a whore's hole with his special cream filled goodness?" Eddie asked.

"Dude?!" Steve exclaimed, scrunching up his face and pinching his nose. "Never say that again!"

Eddie could tell that he was struggling not to laugh and he clapped his hands in victory.

"Stevie, you should know that I will be alone for New Years Eve as well. Uncle Wayne will be working that evening. Want company?" Eddie asked.

"If I say no, are you just going to come over anyway?" Steve asked.

"You know me so well, Stevie, and you say you aren't obsessed with me?" Eddie asked with a knowing grin. "I will be there at 9:30 with bells on. Wear something pretty."

"Ugh, you're still here?" Robin asked coming out of the breakroom.

"Robbie, you know you love me," Eddie said blowing a kiss as he began to leave but then he paused. "You guys want to hear something funny? My middle name is Steven."

"Really?!" Robin and Steve exclaimed, sharing a look with each other.

"No. . .it's James, but wouldn't have that been really weird?" Eddie said laughing as he left.

"I hate that man," Robin said.

"No, you don't," Steve replied.

"Ugh, you're right, I love that silly, silly man even if he is trying to steal you away from me," Robin said.

"By the way, you don't have to worry about me being alone for the holidays, Robin, it looks like I will be spending New Years Eve with Eddie," he told her.

"WHAT?!"

On December 31st, 1986 Steve Harrington prepared for his one and only guest. He had handmade pizza in the oven, a movie for them to watch while they waited, and had dressed to impress. He wore his most tight fitting jeans, a blue sweater that was just as tight, and a string of his mother's pearls around his neck. Eddie did say to wear something pretty. He knew his mother wouldn't care but as he tugged at them he couldn't help but feeling he was doing something naughty.

Steve checked his watch, it was very close to time for Eddie to be here. He looked at himself in the hall mirror, checking over his appearance. He had grown out his hair since Spring Break, now a bit longer than it was when he worked at Scoops. He also went back to wearing lip gloss. He no longer cared about what his dad thought about what he wore. He thought it made his lips look nice.

Steve heard Eddie before he knocked, the sound of bells giving him away, and then came his knock. Was he knocking to the tune of "Master of Puppets"? Steve still couldn't believe that he recognized the song. Shit, maybe he was obsessed with Eddie. He opened the door, a confused look was sure to be on Steve’s face, and laughed when he saw the bells draped over Eddie's vest.

"I told you I would be here with bells on and I see you decided to wear something pretty. Just for me, Stevie?" Eddie winked knowingly.

"Thought it would be funny," Steve replied, blushing.

"Yes, funny. . .hum," Eddie said, looking him up and down, pausing. "Is the bell boy allowed inside the lord's stately manor?"

"Yes, jeeze, just come in," he said, pulling him into the house.

Steve smiled as he watched him move around house, bouncing as he did so. He had been looking forward to this moment since Eddie invited himself over and he wasn't sure why he felt so strongly about this man. He couldn't think straight with him around. He hadn't had a best friend like this. . .well, he never had a best friend like this. Eddie was, in every sense of the word, his best friend. One wouldn't think that this man wouldn't fit so well into his life but he did. Maybe it was possible to have more than one platonic soul mate. It was ten minutes before midnight when all that changed.

"So, is this the first time Steve Harrington won't have someone to kiss at midnight?" Eddie asked softly.

"No, I didn't have anyone last year either," Steve said.

Eddie winced, remembering that Nancy and him had broken up in October of 84 then he had spent many a dates trying to fill the void.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better I've never kissed anyone at all," Eddie said.

"Really?" Steve asked. "But you've told me about the - "

"The one quickie I had in the bathroom at the Hideout. Yeah, he didn't want to kiss me on the lips," Eddie said looking down at his lap. "It was super awkward when I tried. You want to take one for the team and plant one on me, big boy?"

Steve looked at him thoughtfully and then looked down at his lips. They were very soft looking and plump. . .very biteable. Shit, did he want to kiss him? As he thought about it he knew that, yes, he did want to kiss him.

"Sure, I would be a terrible host if I ignored the needs of my guest, wouldn't I?" Steve asked and Eddie laughed.

"You certainly would," Eddie giggled. "You'd tell me first if it turns you gay, right?"

"Nah, I thought I would wait and tell Robin before telling you first," Steve said sarcastically. "Just leave you sitting there hanging."

Eddie laughed and nudged him in the side as they turned to the screen to watch the ball drop. Eddie turned to Steve, the other man doing the same.

"I'd understand if you want to back out," Eddie said softly.

"Nah, man, I'm good," Steve replied.

5! 4 ! 3! 2! 1!

They leaned towards each other at the same time, hearts racing as their lips connected. Steve was right, Eddie's lips were soft and they felt right against his. He cupped Eddie's face and deepened the kiss, touching his tongue against Eddie's lip. Eddie opened his mouth and allowed Steve’s tongue entrance. Eddie tasted like the beer and pizza from earlier with the hint of cigarettes he had smoked before he came over.

Heat pooled into his belly, yearning for Steve to have Eddie closer to him. It was like Eddie had read his mind because a second later the metalhead was straddling his lap, his fingers curled into Steve’s hair. Eddie rocked his hips, grinding down onto Steve’s crotch. That's when Eddie decided to pull away and as he did so, Steve bit lightly at his lip. He caught it gently between his teeth and then let it go, causing Eddie's lip to make a smacking sound as it slapped softly back into place. Eddie's lip wet, red, and swollen.

"Happy New Years, Stevie," Eddie whispered, leaning his forehead against his and they both opened their eyes. "Huh, the powers out. Did we do that?"

"Yes, the kiss was so good it caused the power to go out. Did you forget about the storm going on outside?" Steve asked.

"That kiss made me forget where I was and obviously you thought that the kiss was good too. . .hellooo, big boy," Eddie grinned and then paused. "Or has it just been a while?"

"No. I mean, yes, it's been a while. . . I enjoyed the kiss. I enjoyed kissing you," Steve said, pausing. "I don't know what that means for me, if I like guys or if I just like you. I do know that I would like to kiss you again."

"We should get some light in here so I can look at your face when I kiss it all over," Eddie said softly.

"Well, it's going to get cold in here, we should start a fire," Steve said wiggling his eyebrows.

"If you're suggesting that we start a fire in our pants. . . I would say yes to that, but it wouldn't create light, sadly," Eddie said. "It would be a sight to behold your golden glowing jewels."

"No, I meant we should start a fire in my dad's old study," Steve said.

"Baby, if you wanted to burn down your dad's study you should have just said. You didn't have to seduce me or knock out the power to do it," Eddie said.

"There is a fireplace in there," he replied with a blank expression on his face.

"Well, in that case," Eddie said, jumping up and promptly tripped over the coffee table.

Steve sighed and pulled out a flashlight from the end table beside the couch. He shined it on Eddie's ass that was sticking up in the air.

"Are you okay?" Steve asked.

"Yeah," he said with a groan. "But this no way in implies what I will be doing later."

Once he helped Eddie up, they grabbed a couple of beers and headed into the study. Steve got the fire going and then went to grab a few blankets along with some pillows. They sprawled out in front of the fire with their beers, drinking and laughing. Eddie was the one to explain to him about Bowie and bisexuality, that it was okay to like both. Steve thought about it and all the times he's noticed a guy without actually thinking about what it meant. He definitely had a thing for Tom Cruise and Judd Nelson. Shit, Harrison Ford too. Eddie climbed into his lap and kissed him hard when he told him about that last one. They made out in front of the fire, beers empty and Eddie straddling Steve. They had to break apart to breathe, Steve whining at the loss of contact.

"Do you want to - I mean, we don't have to - unless you do - it's been a lot tonight and I really like you," Eddie said. "I'm willing to wait."

"Eddie," Steve paused, running a hand up his back. "I want you to fuck me."

"You've got condoms and lube?" Eddie asked.

"Upstairs in my room," he replied.

"When I get back I hope you will be wearing nothing but those pearls," Eddie said with a lewd grin.

Steve grinned as he stripped down completely and laid on the blankets, his arm underneath his head. Once again, Steve heard him before he saw him. . .the jingling of bells coming from the hallway. Eddie entered the study wearing nothing but the bells. After a heated debate, Eddie chose not to wear the bells.

"I'm only looking out for you, babe!" Steve exclaimed.

Eddie pressed his full body against his, kissing him softly. Steve’s hands shook slightly as he placed his hands on Eddie's ass. He broke the kiss and looked down at Steve with a raised eyebrow.

"We really don't have to do this," Eddie said softly.

"No, I want to. Does it make sense that I am nervous about how excited I am?" Steve asked.

"Are you that eager to take my dick, sweetheart?" He asked.

"Shut up and fuck me, Munson."

By the time morning came, the power had returned to the Harrington home. Robin had been dropped off by her mother with a load of food for Steve from last night, opening the front door with her key.

"Heyy, dingus! My mom felt super guilty about not having you over last night so she made sure that you had plenty of food, I think, to feed an army. Hopefully, Munson wasn't too bad last night. Steve? Are you still in bed? Lazy ass! Just kidding, my soul twin! You, of all people, deserve to sleep in!" Robin rambled on as she placed the food in the kitchen and climbed the stairs.

Robin frowned when she entered Steve’s room and found that he wasn't in his bedroom. Where was he? She knew he was still here, his car was in the driveway. She began checking all the rooms, calling out for Steve. Robin opened the door to the study and shrieked.

"What the fuck?!" Robin exclaimed.

Eddie laid slumbering halfway on Steve’s naked back, snoring and drooling while Steve also slept on. They were both naked except for a string of pearls around Eddie's neck. Robin could clearly see a large bite mark on Steve’s ass. She wished she hadn't noticed, she wished she couldn't see. Eddie groaned and lifted his head, glaring up at Robin, then he grinned.

"By the power of my lips and dick I have successfully made Steve gay for me!" Eddie said proudly.

"Don't lie to her, Edward," Steve groaned, sat up and pulled the blanket over the both of them. "I have discovered some things about myself last night. It being that I am bisexual. Yeah, definitely bisexual. Oh, and I am completely obsessed with Eddie!"

"I fucking knew it!" Eddie cheered.

"All this time, I thought. . .I thought you were trying to steal him away to make him your platonic soulmate," Robin said.

"Don't worry, Robin, he's just my boyfriend," Steve said and then looked at him. "You are, aren't you?"

"Yeah, Robin, you have nothing to fear, he is nothing more than my boyfriend," Eddie replied with a grin.

"Thank God," Robin sighed in relief.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed! Unfortunately, my brain short circuited when I was trying to write them fucking in front of the fire and I was unable to write the smut in detail.

[top-tier-tickles]

Bendy (BATDR AND BATIM) NEW/UPDATED Tickle Headcanons

To celebrate the arrival of Bendy and The Dark Revival, here are some Bendy tk headcanons. Some new, some are updated from the last headcanon batch. Enjoy!

SPOILERS FOR BENDY AND THE DARK REVIVAL!!!

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Henry Stein:

Still super ticklish

Hasn't had much physical contact since being locked up by the Keepers

His death spot is the ribs and sides

His laugh is calm until you hit any particularly sensitive spots

He's the dad friend, so he's definitely good at tickling people

Either to cheer them up or to be an ass

The real him gets tickled by Linda all the time

Sammy Lawrence:

Doesn't really appreciate being tickled

(Mostly because he's ticklish as fuck)

Worst spot is his hips

Was wrecked by Norman, Susie, and Jack a lot back when he was human

The only person he actually tickles is Jack (or Henry)

Uses his smooth voice to tease people

Was actually recorded while being tickled once, but Sammy made sure to bury that audio log where no one would ever find it (spoiler alert Henry found it)

Susie Campbell/Alice Angel

Doesn't mind being tickled

Worst spot is her ribs

Mostly tickled Sammy because he was a grumpy man

After turning into Alice, she hates being touched

Try anything and she'll fucking kill you

Seriously

Not above tickling others still though

Jack Fain

Really ticklish

He's the one who ratted Sammy out about his ticklishness to the others

Which got his ass wrecked

Worst spot is his belly, actually

Despite liking the quiet, he loves the sound of laughter

As a swollen searcher, he doesn't interact with anyone except Sammy

Allison Pendle/Connor/Angel

Starts tickle fights with Tom ALL THE TIME

She usually wins, too

Death spot is her neck, oddly

Was hardened by the studio, but still retained that playful side

Tickles her teammates to cheer them up

Thomas Connor/Tom Boris

Tickling is one of the very few ways to fluster this man

Death spot is his belly

His laugh is very gruff at first, but the longer you tickle him, the more soft it gets

Tickle hugs are his specialty

Has used them on Wally multiple times cause he was tired of his shit (and vice versa)

As a wolf, he's a little less ticklish, but he likes being scratched on the ears and chin

Buddy Lewek/Buddy Boris

As both human and wolf, really ticklish

Worst spot is the sides

Dot would poke Buddy all the time as a human

Likes tickly tummy scratches

He's too polite to tickle someone (except maybe Henry)

Norman Polk/The Projectionist

Was dubbed the "Tickle Monster of Joey Drew Studios" when he was human

He's a very calm man, and his laugh reflects that

He's super ticklish though

Everyone in the studio has been tickled by him at some point

His reputation is so well known, that other employees would threaten to get Norman if another employee was pissing them off

Doesn't tickle anyone anymore because he's a projector

Joey Drew

Ehhhh I hate him but at the same time I don't

He's ticklish, but usually is a ler

Henry, Nathan, and Abby know this all too well

He's only been tickled a few times

But he was definitely a tickle monster to Audrey when she was little

Nathan Arch

He's pretty playful

He and Joey had tickle fights prove me wrong

He was too busy with all his shit that he didn't have a lot of time for his family

Bertrum Piedmont

Believe it or not, he enjoys tickling people!

He says it's his job to make people smile, and he can do that with more than just amusement parks

Hates being tickled though

He's a big man, so he's easily a good ler

Lacie Benton

She mostly observes the tickling

Has been ticked by a select few though

She's not really ticklish at all

But she'll laugh

And hit you with a wrench

Wally Franks

Poor bastard

Ticklish as hell

Counting his freckles KILLS him

Actually LIKES being tickled

He sometimes pulls pranks specifically to be tickled

Death spot is his knees

Audrey Drew

She's mostly a ler

Tickles Porter, Heidi, and Bendy a lot

And vice versa

Death spot is her hips

She'll either hit you or try to get you back

But know this....she WILL get revenge

Porter

LEE LEE LEE

FUCKING LEEEEEE

Tell me this goofy goober isn't hella ticklish

He LIKES it too

He's a walking death spot

He likes to start tickle fights

Heidi

Same with Porter

Only a little less ticklish

She likes putting little tickle twists on her games

Like if you're found, you get tickled!

Worst spot is her ribs

Betty

She's actually not ticklish

But she's a sweetheart ler

Tickles people to cheer them up or calm them

Her tickles are gentle

She occasionally teases, but they're always kind and never mean

Baby Benders (Perfect Bendy)

Cute little shit

He will sometimes ask for tickles by pointing at his belly

His death spot is his belly

Wasn't tickled until he met Audrey

And he loves it because he's touch starved

At first, he wasn't used to tickling and thought he was going to get hurt

But he quickly changed his tune

Wilson Arch

Ink Demon

Unlike his toon form, the Ink Demon doesn't like being touched

Once again, he only tolerates being tickled by Audrey

He might tickle someone instead of killing them if he's in a good mood

He's a monster ler though, and you'd probably still die

His death spot is still the belly, but the back of his knees are super sensitive too

ew.

Keepers

fuck these things

But for some reason I can imagine them tickling someone to weaken them and lock them in the Pit

Big Steve

Gentle giant fr

Likes belly rubs

He's a total tickle monster tho

He picks people up and wrecks them

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That's all of the characters that immediately come to mind! Lemme know if I forgot someone or if you want more!

[eridan-amporaa]

Ooo okay SO-

Skid and Pump being Light and Void works really well for them, conflicting aspects that balance each other out and benefit them both - Pump as a Seer is amazing and fits with him being the first character shown to be Stars'd and the unlock of Weird Supernatural Knowledge as a result

Skid as an Heir also has the double meaning of him being the "heir" to the cult, if his dad actually was the leader of it

Roy as a Thief is perfect, riling up others to make him feel better about himself. I could see his "quest" being him learning how to use it constructively

Ross as a Mind player is interesting -- he'd probably end up as the sort of "guide", stealing the information the group needs to actually complete the game

Susie as a Heart player. Yes. In classic Homestuck fashion, the heart on her shirt can even serve as foreshadowing to her role

Don't have much to say about Robert or Ethan, theirs seem fitting. I bet Ethan would have a laugh about the "made of doom" pun tho

Kevin absolutely fits as a Page, and it brings the idea of him having to reach his potential somehow. Also it's like the game itself is telling him to get a Life which I think is funny and VERY fitting for him

Mage of Space Streber... yeah that tracks. Especially with Space, Streber leads with the creation of the Genesis Frog, fiddling with them like his inventions until they're perfect. Him being a Mage also fits with how both of the canon Mages lost something but still do their things without it

Radford as a Prince of Time... ohohoho, now that's interesting. Him feeling like he's "running low on time" could factor into how he plays, worried that they won't have enough time to make the frog and stoke the forge, or that somehow he's going to do something that will doom them all.

The thought of Time could also be related to his family, like not having enough time to spend with them, not wanting them to grow up so soon, or maybe even the fear of his little sister not having much time left, if she has a series illness and wasn't just sick with a cold or something

There's also the more silly connection of him loving movies, which are Timeless

love all this analysis, there are actually a couple things i hadn't even considered in here! some bullet points for other stuff to go with these:

all of the characters have a counter to their aspect - skid n pump being Light and Void, rob and roy as Hope and Rage, etc. the only pair not included is breath and blood... hm. guess we'll see if there are any other characters to incorporate ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

there are also several class combos here - ross n roy being Rogue and Thief, streber n pump being Mage and Seer, etc. could result in some interesting duos combat wise, as well as some unlikely friendships!

on a similar note, the Knight is always supposed to help protect the Space player. susie n streber friendship arc!! (for the record im not changing any ages. highschoolers can be friends with adults sue me)

kevin absolutely hates his godtier outfit. Like, hell no. And he has to wear it in front of the kids AND his crush(es)?? hells to the no!!!! he grabs a spare pair of pants asap (also I almost made him a Bard of Doom... that would be so much worse LOL)

ross, being a rogue, would steal knowledge directly from the sprites. which is how he learns about all the stuff we know as observers (class/aspect pairs, active vs passive, etc.) this is also how he figures out how to godtier. susie is the one to point out that "hey, if we don't all godtier, we'd have to watch more people we care abt die and that would be Bad". so their main overall quest for a while would prolly be to get everyone to godtier

im stealing ur idea for roys quest it makes sense i love it

radford was at work when he had to play sburb, idk where susie/pump were but they were separated (skid n pump werent hangin out either tho). rob has his sister with him at home. his parents, along with susie's parents, will never be seen again - they got left behind. surviving parents/guardians/family r abuelo wonder, lila, ross's parents, roy's parents, rob's sister, and ethan's fam. they got lucky. the only guardians to die during the game r roy's parents and maybe abuelo wonder

yea rad is paranoid asf lmao poor guy (<- continues making up angst scenarios for him)

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Chortle headlines, anyone?

This is hilarious to me, because I remember that episode of Question Team. I think it was filmed during Acaster's sort of lost years, between Cold Lasagne and Heckler's Welcome, when he quit social media and almost quit stand-up. He did this round on Question Team that, to be really honest, I didn't even find all that funny (I did enjoy a lot of Question Team, but it could be hit or miss as it changed every round, and I thought James' was a bit of a miss). But James got so excited during it, he kept repeating that he'd stopped enjoying comedy but this was great, it was the most fun he'd had doing comedy in ages. I kept thinking that the obvious assumption is he's saying that for a joke, doing a bit on a panel show, but it he was so committed to it, and it was so accurate to other stuff that Acaster was saying around that time (talking in interviews about being disillusioned with stand-up), that I wondered if he maybe he did actually mean it.

...Apparently he meant it. Enough to base a whole new show on it. Good for him, I guess. I don't intend to watch but I hope everyone involved has a good time.

Two pieces of great news, I look forward to the release of both these things. If anyone has not yet watched Cunk on Britain/Earth, go fix that immediately.

The sight of this picture (plus names beside it, since Fern Brady isn't in the picture) is the first thing that has ever, in my entire life, made me even slightly interested in watching a food-based TV show. Not interested enough so I actually will watch it, but still. Someone let me know if Adam Hills starts yelling at DO'D to take a cow apart at any point, and then I'll tune in.

Frankie mentioned in his latest newsletter that he'd be starting a podcast soon. I got excited about that, because I think The Promethiad is the best thing Frankie Boyle's ever done; I think he works best just on his own, talking into a recording device. So I did experience a very brief split second of disappointment when I saw the promised podcast is not that, it's a chat-based thing. Then I remembered that Susie McCabe is the best, and it can never be bad news if Frankie Boyle and Susie McCabe are going to talk to each other about anything at all and record that conversation. I also like that, as stated in the body of that article, it won't have any format points or anything. Just talking.

I like Christopher MacArthur-Boyd too. I recently watched his special and was slightly disappointed by the first half as I'd read a lot about how funny he was and thought it didn't quite meet expectations, but then the second half was better, and I think if I'd gone in with normal expectations I'd have thought it was great. Also, I think he might be one of those people whom I liked better than his comedy. As in, I didn't absolutely love his stand-up special, but I did really like him, just his general approach to things, so I'd be happy to listen to him talk some more about stuff.

I have already subscribed the podcast, first episode's supposed to be out next week.

You won't get me this time, Chortle, I will not be fooled again. It happened like four times in 2022-2023 that I'd see something about Jonathan Pie, think "Oh this looks interesting, someone known for being a creative and angry political comedian but I'd never heard of it before, I must look this guy up", then I do and remember it's Andrew Doyle from GB News, and then I forget about it and get interested again the next time I see it. Not this time! Go away!

I so often hear jokes making fun of "comedian wins major award for show in which said comedian complains about getting canceled". I hear those jokes so often than I should be sick of them by now, I should consider them trite and overdone. But I don't think they can get overdone when the absurdly over-the-top thing they're making fun of keeps unironically happening. Guess we'll have to keep the jokes going for a while longer.

Hello Edinburgh I am an artist may I have cheap accommodation?

Genuinely, though, this seems like a very good thing. Good for them. Also, I booked my Edinburgh accommodation in November and got pretty lucky to find a place at a fairly reasonable price, compared to the stuff I've read about how overpriced accomodation during the Edinburgh Festival is (not as cheap as the prices quoted in that article, but still, not bad).

There were also a bunch of headlines about Elis James and John Robins doing some new thing that I don't understand, I wish they would go the way of Frankie Boyle and just record themselves talking with no plan.