#for the last time low empathy does not make you a bad person

[serial-serializednovelreader]

Nova’s Notes - North and South Weekly - Chapter 4

In which Margaret gets another unpleasant surprise…

“He was gone. The house was shut up for the evening. No more deep blue skies or crimson and amber tints.”

Lovely use of “show, don’t tell” here. It parallels Henry's idealized description of the country from last chapter and in turn, parallels how that idealized version has, as Margaret predicted, dissipated. And in another sense, her idealized version of Henry coming to visit -- where everyone left the visit happy -- has also dissipated in turn.

"How different men were to women! Here was she disturbed and unhappy, because her instinct had made anything but a refusal impossible; while he, not many minutes after he had met with a rejection of what ought to have been the deepest, holiest proposal of his life, could speak as if briefs, success, and all its superficial consequences of a good house, clever and agreeable society, were the sole avowed objects of his desires."

I can definitely see why she assumes this is a man/woman difference (that was obviously an assumption of the time), but that isn't why lol. This is just a coping mechanism and Henry's issueTM! It's dangerously close to Henry thinking Margaret is not missing her friends at London just because she smiles and acts happy around him. *However*, she has something else to say a couple of sentences later I want to highlight:

"Then she took it into her head that, after all, his lightness might be but assumed, to cover a bitterness of disappointment which would have been stamped on her own heart if she had loved and been rejected."

I think this passage right here marks one of the key differences between Margaret and Henry, and potentially what makes them incompatible in a romantic sense. Yes, she does have that initial thought of "how could he act so happy and focused after being rejected what's up with that", but she reflects -- she takes a second to empathize with him -- and realizes that it's probably a mask to hide his feelings! Would Henry have had that same moment of self-reflection? From what we've seen of him, no, I don't think so. Maybe later in his arc, but not currently.

I'm not saying she can't be in a romantic relationship with someone who can't feel the same kind of empathy as her (low empathy people deserve love too!!!), but I think it's more a matter of the reflection part. Her taking a second to rethink her initial assumptions before reaching a conclusion. Being in a relationship with someone who always assumes they know you best when, in reality, they jump to the wrong conclusion would be very exhausting. So far, Henry has not taken her perspective seriously, or taken what she's had to say at face value several times! Meanwhile, in this quiet way, she's making sure to rethink her conclusions to see him in the best possible light.

"Oh dear! how she could have loved him if he had but been different, with a difference which she felt, on reflection, to be one that went low—deep down."

And then there's this sentence between the two I just analyzed...

Live footage of me reading this:

Margaret, you are SO funny, I love you so much. I mean, you're not wrong but...also?? Yeah, I definitely feel a bit bad for Henry here, oof. It goes to show that you can't force romance or compatibility! Either someone will love you for who you are, or you'd have to have a whole personality transplant to make them love you...yikes, that sounds bad. I just mean the right people will love everything about you!! Surround yourself with those! And to be fair, Margaret does love him, just not romantically.

"Margaret had to shake off the recollections of what had been done and said through the day, and turn a sympathising listener to the account of how Dixon had complained that the ironing-blanket had been burnt again; and how Susan Lightfoot had been seen with artificial flowers in her bonnet, thereby giving evidence of a vain and giddy character. Mr. Hale sipped his tea in abstracted silence; Margaret had the responses all to herself. She wondered how her father and mother could be so forgetful, so regardless of their companion through the day, as never to mention his name. She forgot that he had not made them an offer."

I feel so bad for her here!!! She's just trying to organize her thoughts, but -- as usual -- she has to turn a listening ear to her mother's ever-present IssuesTM. She can't even get a break for a second because her dad isn't responding. I wonder if hearing Henry's name mentioned would actually be better or worse for her to hear; though I do know I would hate for my mom to be talking about someone's fashion choices right after I had to reject someone! Also, "She forgot that he had not made them an offer." LOL Margaret, yes that is one way of putting it.

When Mrs. Hale leaves, Mr. Hale asks for her to talk to him about something "very serious" to the family...Margaret is worried:

"Mr. Lennox had never had the opportunity of having any private conversation with her father after her refusal, or else that would indeed be a very serious affair. In the first place, Margaret felt guilty and ashamed of having grown so much into a woman as to be thought of in marriage; and secondly, she did not know if her father might not be displeased that she had taken upon herself to decline Mr. Lennox’s proposal."

Ahhh, again, feel for her here! She shouldn't feel ashamed of being a woman of marrying age, though I guess that is rather strange for her since she hasn't had the chance to be around her parents in so long. It must feel weird to go from a child to suddenly an woman who can get proposed to and have your dad talk to you about it. But she shouldn't feel guilty and ashamed. :(

As for the second point, does she really think her father would force her to accept Henry's proposal? Or does this just mean he would have rather she waited for him to decline it for her? Either way, oof, I hope this wouldn't have been the case. He should let her take care of it!

That's when Mr. Hale drops two bombs on Margaret -- that they must leave Helstone because he's no longer going to be a minster.

Wait...WHAT?! Where did this come from? Is it because of Frederick? No? Then why...

"'Margaret, I will tell you about it. I will answer any questions this once, but after to-night let us never speak of it again. I can meet the consequences of my painful, miserable doubts; but it is an effort beyond me to speak of what has caused me so much suffering.'”

So, he's able to speak on this whole situation that he's apparently caused (it sure sounds like this is a decision he made from this passage)...but only for one night? I don't like that very much. If you're going to make a life-altering decision like that which will affect your entire family, I don't think you get the right to be like "we can never speak of this again after I initially tell you." For one thing, that's not a healthy family relationship and will definitely lead to communication problems later. Secondly, it puts an unfair burden on Margaret to make her bottle up all of her emotions about this change after just one night of being able to voice them! And what of her mother? Will she be able to speak of her feelings, or will she -- as usual -- just pass all of this on to Margaret's ear? Then that's doubly unfair to Margaret and also unfair to Mrs. Hale!!!

“"You could not understand it all, if I told you—my anxiety, for years past, to know whether I had any right to hold my living—my efforts to quench my smouldering doubts by the authority of the Church. Oh! Margaret, how I love the holy Church from which I am to be shut out!' He could not go on for a moment or two. Margaret could not tell what to say; it seemed to her as terribly mysterious as if her father were about to turn Mahometan."

Ok, so this definitely confused me because...what doubts Mr. Hale?? You have some anxiety and that's it? You explain nothing. Also, don't like that he pulls a "you wouldn't understand". Then make her understand!!

Back to the confusion, this post helped me understand the reason behind the mystery (tl;dr, for controversial religious reasons) and this post has notes which speculate specific reasons why Mr. Hale may has his doubts in the church (tl;dr, the act of uniformity and the book of common prayer).

Also, Mahometan means "Muslim" -- which I also found out from this last post I linked -- so basically this shock is as "mysterious" to her as if her father suddenly changed religions!

“"I have been reading to-day of the two thousand who were ejected from their churches,”—continued Mr. Hale, smiling faintly,—“trying to steal some of their bravery; but it is of no use—no use—I cannot help feeling it acutely.'”

I guess I can understand why he's using this situation to try to help him relate, but I feel like this is a bit incomparable. One case is people being forced from the church, while the other is someone choosing to leave the church due to anxiety and other doubts. It seems a bit...unfair to compare the two. Am I the only one who feels that way? I know everyone has different struggles but...I don't know. Just weird to me.

“'But, papa, have you well considered? Oh! it seems so terrible, so shocking,' said Margaret, suddenly bursting into tears. The one staid foundation of her home, of her idea of her beloved father, seemed reeling and rocking. What could she say? What was to be done? The sight of her distress made Mr. Hale nerve himself, in order to try and comfort her. He swallowed down the dry choking sobs which had been heaving up from his heart..."

Thus far, we haven't seen Margaret cry since she was a lonely child, heartbroken at the thought of being far from her home. And here she is again, just past an adult and crying again at the prospect of leaving her home: this time forever. This time, it also comes with the added knowledge that her father is the one to do this and it changes her idealized version of him. It seems that Henry isn't the only one showing his true character and bursting her bubble today....yikes.

The only good news is that her father does try to comfort her and push down his feelings. He's her father, it's his job to be there for her!!! She may be technically an adult (if you count 18 as an adult, which I really don't -- that's still a child/teenager for me, but that may be my age talking lol), but she still needs her father!! So far, she's the one who has had to bear the emotional burdens of her parents, so it's nice to see a role reversal (and the one it should be) for a change.

The bad news is is that he tries to comfort her using a religious reading which she's too upset to pay any attention to (understandable). The text itself -- summed up -- basically is from an ex-clergyman that states that preaching the word while having doubts is not actually good and dishonorable to God. It is then better to set aside the ministry than it is to continue it. For Mr. Hale, he is able to gain strength from this, but Margaret's sobs bring him back to reality.

“'Margaret, dear!' said he, drawing her closer, 'think of the early martyrs; think of the thousands who have suffered.' 'But, father,' said she, suddenly lifting up her flushed, tear-wet face, 'the early martyrs suffered for the truth, while you—oh! dear, dear papa!'"

While Margaret is upset beyond measure, that doesn't mean she's not going to speak her mind. And yep, she's thinking the same thing I am! Comparing his own inner conflicts to matyrs -- those who have died from persecution of their religion -- well, that's...yeah I can't complete my thought either. I don't really know what to say to that, honestly.

“'I suffer for conscience’ sake, my child,' said he, with a dignity that was only tremulous from the acute sensitiveness of his character; 'I must do what my conscience bids. I have borne long with self-reproach that would have roused any mind less torpid and cowardly than mine.' He shook his head as he went on. 'Your poor mother’s fond wish, gratified at last in the mocking way in which over-fond wishes are too often fulfilled—Sodom apples as they are—has brought on this crisis, for which I ought to be, and I hope I am thankful."

Ahhhh it's his conscience that suffers, well in that case...NOPE, still a strange comparison. He uses self-deprecation to make Margaret feel sorry for him (seriously, bearing your own angry thoughts was such a hardship for you, but you actually should have given up your home sooner if not for your "cowardice"? Ok.). THEN, he goes on to blame his wife and say her continual asks about a promotion he hasn't received in 20 years has "brought on this crisis", but he's thankful anyway.

Ok, this gives me LOTS OF FEELINGS but....let's backup really quick. Imagine you have a spouse with a job (in this economy? Congratulations, honestly). It's not a great job, but it's a job! You assume at some point, your spouse will get a promotion so you and your two children can get a bit of a better living. The place where you live is fine but it's not the best it could be. (Plus you may be a *little* selfish and want more comfort, but some of it is genuinely to give your family a better life). Twenty years pass and....nothing. No promotion, no change. People who aren't as ambitious or don't study as much your spouse get promoted, but your spouse doesn't. Everytime you bring it up to your spouse, they tell you to "be happy where you are, they're happy!" or just brushes off your concerns. So, you get more pushy about it. And what happens? Still nothing.

Then one day, out of the blue, they come up to you and tell you: I quit my job and also it's your fault I quit because you asked too much of me for wanting me to promote! So yeah, we have to leave our house, but I feel better about my own inner turmoil now so YAY :) How would you feel about that? I'd imagine not great...

Now, obviously, he's not going to tell his wife exactly that, but still? I feel like blaming it on your wife is so immature. I know in my analysis of Chapter 2, I did side with Mr. Hale and think Mrs. Hale was putting too much pressure on him...but then I got context. And the context I received changed my perception of this a bit. Do I still think it's right for her to constantly complain about their house and tell him to promote? No, not really. Do I think it's her way of showing love (in the sense where she says "you could do so much better than this job! I believe you're better than these other guys that got promoted!" -- which I don't consider that the best kind of love to show to your spouse but I do think that's her way) and that she doesn't deserve actual *blame* when he's the own making the life-altering decision here? Also, yes.

To be honest, I think it's a complex situation; both parties are wrong in some places and both parties have correct points. The reason I'm being hard on Mr. Hale is because he's making such a life-altering change to the entire family without telling them -- that's not fair and anxiety doesn't excuse it. As someone with anxiety, I avoid difficult conversations and conflict whenever possible, but I wouldn't avoid it here! While I doubt he would've been able to just "talk things out" with his wife about his doubts (so far, she doesn't seem the type to be a sympathetic ear in a situation like this, though I'm open to changing my mind), bottling his doubts up until it became this also wasn't the answer.

What I do love from a reader's standpoint is that this isn't black and white for me!!! I get to see all sides and I understand their viewpoints, I love it. :D

"'It is not a month since the bishop offered me another living; if I had accepted it, I should have had to make a fresh declaration of conformity to the Liturgy at my institution. Margaret, I tried to do it; I tried to content myself with simply refusing the additional preferment, and stopping quietly here,—strangling my conscience now, as I had strained it before.'"

So what prompted this was actually the bishop offering to promote him (what his wife had wanted), but he would've had to make a fresh declaration of conformity (basically, restating his vows/creed to the church and its doctrine) and that seemed to be what turned him away. Again, this is HIS decision, yet he's passing the blame on others. And instead of just refusing the promotion...he asked to resign instead. Oof.

She asks him the next obvious question: when is this all to take place? He says next Sunday is his last sermon. It's sudden, but for Margaret:

"...[l]ingering would only add stings to the pain; it was better to be stunned into numbness by hearing of all these arrangements..."

It's sad that she has to take comfort in what she can, and the only comfort she has is that everything is happening so suddenly that at least she can be shocked and numbed from the pain she'd feel (and will likely feel later on once this shock wears off). :((

The next obvious question arises: what does her mom have to say?

“'Margaret, I am a poor coward after all. I cannot bear to give pain. I know so well your mother’s married life has not been all she hoped—all she had a right to expect—and this will be such a blow to her, that I have never had the heart, the power to tell her. She must be told though, now,' said he, looking wistfully at his daughter."

He hasn't even told his wife yet?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!! There's absolutely no excuse for this type of behavior, I'm sorry. No matter how bad your anxiety is, you can't just *not tell your wife* about a LIFE-CHANGING decision like this!!! If he really wanted to not give pain to his wife and give her "less comfort" than he feels she deserves, I feel like there's some kind of compromise between hating your profession and then quitting your job and moving houses without telling her first!! Just me? Ok. I also don't like the way he's looking at his daughter after saying he doesn't have the heart to tell his wife, but she does need to be told...hm....

“'Where are we to go to?' said she at last, struck with a fresh wonder as to their future plans, if plans indeed her father had."

It says a lot about how far her trust in her father has fallen that she's not even sure if he's made plans for what happens after they leave Helstone. She probably feels like the only rational one in this situation, and with how much she's had to solve problems for her parents lately, I can kind of see why!

Luckily, he does have a plan: they're going to move to Milton-Northern, a manufacturing town. But Mr. Hale has one more issue...

"'Only help me to tell your mother. I think I could do anything but that: the idea of her distress turns me sick with dread. If I tell you all, perhaps you could break it to her to-morrow. I am going out for the day, to bid farmer Dobson and the poor people on Bracy Common good-bye. Would you dislike breaking it to her very much, Margaret?'”

Yep, just what I was worried about. So while Mr. Hale gets to go out and say his goodbyes (probably seeming like a hero/martyr while doing so as that's how he's been portraying himself throughout this conversation), Margaret gets the very fun job (/s) of breaking the news to her mother that not only is her husband NOT getting a promotion, he has quit his job and they will be moving to a manufacturing town where he can get another job! I'm sure that will go over very well, considering how calm, composed and non-whiney her mother has been up to this point (very hard /s).

I also hate that he asks her if she would dislike doing this because it's an illusion of choice. It seems like a way out. But, even if Margaret says "yes, I'd rather not," she's probably still going to be forced into it regardless. And after all of his conflict beforehand, it would make her feel horrible to refuse now. I know he cares about and loves his daughter, but he's letting his own inability to communicate effectively with his wife overshadow that.

Pro tip: if you ever get to the point where you're letting your own child break bad news to your partner -- and it's not due to an emergency or some sort of disability you can't overcome on your end (even then, there are still ways to communicate through those circumstances, but as an example) -- then you're doing it wrong. It's very hard to sympathize with Mr. Hale here.

"Margaret did dislike it, did shrink from it more than from anything she had ever had to do in her life before. She could not speak, all at once. Her father said, “You dislike it very much don’t you, Margaret?” Then she conquered herself, and said, with a bright strong look on her face: 'It is a painful thing, but it must be done, and I will do it as well as ever I can. You must have many painful things to do.' Mr. Hale shook his head despondingly: he pressed her hand in token of gratitude. Margaret was nearly upset again into a burst of crying."

Of course, as I suspected, she feels obligated to take on her father's problems and once again, becomes the one taking on emotional burdens for the family. She puts on a brave facade, but is still very close to tears all the while. She talks of him having "painful things to do" and acting as if this hardship is little in comparison, but honestly -- I don't see what could be worse than what she's about to do. Quitting? He's already done that. Moving itself? They're all going to be a part of it; it won't be his own burden alone. Saying goodbye to his congregation? Sure, that will be difficult, but at least he has the option to walk away if they ask too many questions; Margaret won't have that luxury. And of course, Margaret can't (or doesn't want to) acknowledge the crux of the matter: that he chose to do this, fully knowing his wife would have to know about it at some point in the process. The fact that he probably decided early on he would have Margaret take on this burden instead of him is honestly pretty cowardly and sucky of him to do.

Margaret is sooooo much better than me because I think I would just say no! Sorry, I love you, but you decided to do this to us, so find the courage to tell mom about it!!! 🤷‍♀️ I understand why she agrees to it though: even with her trust broken, her dad was still her hero for such a long time and that feeling will not just go away in the matter of a couple of minutes. Plus, she's already gotten used to taking on her parents' burdens, so this is just another mark in a long list. Not to mention her compassion for others in general. I do admire her for taking this responsibility on -- I just know it's not her responsibility and wish her dad would do the right thing!

Margaret does try to ask her father about the possibility of surviving at Helstone without her father having a job, but that is quickly shot down. She's given a reality check that Frederick needs their money for him to survive living abroad and there's also the matter of Mr. Hale's wants:

"'I must do something! I must make myself busy, to keep off morbid thoughts. Besides, in a country parish I should be so painfully reminded of Helstone, and my duties here. I could not bear it, Margaret. And a hundred a year would go a very little way, after the necessary wants of housekeeping are met, towards providing your mother with all the comforts she has been accustomed to, and ought to have. No: we must go to Milton. That is settled. I can always decide better by myself, and not influenced by those whom I love,' said he, as a half apology for having arranged so much before he had told any one of his family of his intentions. 'I cannot stand objections. They make me so undecided.'”

I think it's a little funny (not funny in a haha way) that Mr. Hale, after all of this, has the nerve to go "I need to move there because it's best for *me*. The jobs there are best for *my needs* where I won't be reminded of *my failure*." Buddy, I hate to tell you this, but the literal last thing you should be thinking about is yourself in this situation. You should be looking for a place that has good work -- yes -- but also will be a good place for Margaret and Mrs. Hale. Aka, your family. Remember them??

Now, from what I've heard about North and South, this book is about labor relations and overcoming prejudices about manufacturing towns (I think??). I'm not trying to say Milton can't or won't be a good place for them to live (I know it probably will be better than they think it is!), I'm just saying the fact that he starts off this passage with listing the criteria *he needs* to live in a town is wild to me after all of this. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, considering it was his own needs that pushed him to do this in the first place. He also mentions the comforts his wife needs, but that almost feels like an excuse or afterthought compared to how much emphasis he puts on his own needs/wants.

Also, the last part of his speech to Margaret is ridiculous to me. That's supposed to be a half-apology? That is one of the worst apologies I've heard yet! And that's after hearing Lennox's love confession (these two have GOT to communicate better because Margaret needs better men in her life, geez). Also "I cannot stand objections. They make me so undecided." ???? Pfft, YEAH, no duh! Obviously, objections will do that, that's what they're for!!!! They're supposed to make you rethink and reevaluate what you're doing before it's too late. Which, in your case, would've been a much better option than doing what you did, Mr. Hale!!! But instead, you chose to follow only what you wanted and didn't think of the family that needed you.

I have no doubt that this decision will likely work out better for them in the end, but it easily couldn't and for me, that's what bothers me so much! Packing your family up just like that and arranging this before telling them anything is just so inconsiderate to me. I understand needing to quit your job for your mental health, but....not like this.

Mr. Hale then talks of how he heard of Milton -- from Frederick's godfather, Mr. Bell who owns property there. I want to highlight this specific part:

"'Well; I had reason to suspect—to imagine—I had better say nothing about it, however. But I felt sure of sympathy from Mr. Bell.'"

So...you're not even for sure whether Mr. Bell will help you or not -- you just felt like he had sympathy???? And he also told you of a job opening for a private tutor from a Mr. Thornton (who I know will be important later!!!!). That's....not the solid plan I would've hoped for. He has a recommendation letter (basically), but still. I suppose there are worse plans to have, but like -- is there any guarantee of a home with that plan? I would not be assured at all if I was Margaret.

This is where Margaret's prejudice shows.

“A private tutor!” said Margaret, looking scornful: “What in the world do manufacturers want with the classics, or literature, or the accomplishments of a gentleman?”

Don't turn into a judgy-pants here, I know you're better than your mother!!! I assume part of her arc will be learning that manufacturers deserve as much of an education as she does, though I had hoped she would already know that! To be fair to her, she has been raised in an environment where her entire family is somewhat judgmental of anyone "beneath" them, so I can understand why she wouldn't exactly see beyond that. She may be more sympathetic and practical than her mother and aunt, but prejudices and biases from how she was raised are quite easy to emulate.

Mr. Hale is actually the reasonable one here (though whether it's genuine or out of interest to convince Margaret his plan is a good idea is unclear), stating that many in Milton want to learn and are actually better than men from Oxford, who don't acknowledge any deficiencies in themselves. I agree with that sentiment!

Mr. Hale again brings up how different it is from Helstone and it's a good thing because they can't be reminded of it -- Margaret can't help but agree, though she lists several reasons why she does not want to live there (mostly from what's she heard from others -- that it's "bleak" and "discordant"). I myself find running away from your problems and then blocking out anything that could remind of that problem to be borderline unhealthy (it can be healthy and work in some cases, but to not talk about it at all is a red flag), but what do I know?

Margaret asks when they're leaving and Mr. Hale replies that it will be two weeks from now. She is, of course, stunned again. but takes it in stride. The only problem is that her mother knows nothing of it!

He replies by lamenting how much easier this would all would be for him if he were by himself and not married. I think that's key to highlight here because while he doesn't seem to have a problem with Margaret (though he does emphasize the "alone" part), he does seem to have a problem with Mrs. Hale and that's where his conflict arises. It sounds like they have some marital issues to work on...

Margaret asks for time to tell her mother -- until tomorrow night. Then, she says:

"'Oh, papa,' cried she with sudden passionate entreaty, 'say—tell me it is a nightmare—a horrid dream—not the real waking truth! You cannot mean that you are really going to leave the Church—to give up Helstone—to be for ever separate from me, from mamma—led away by some delusion—some temptation! You do not really mean it!'”

I think Margaret has entered the "denial" phase of grief here, and I don't blame her one bit! It's so much to take in, and this is all on the same night she was proposed to by someone she only saw as a friend. Needless to say, she's going through a lot emotionally. And I think when she speaks of her father being "separate" from her and her mother, she means emotionally and spiritually, not physically. Because what he is doing will lead to this kind of division, whether he can see it or not. I know personally I would not be able to talk to or see my parent in the same light if they did something similar!

"Mr. Hale sat in rigid stillness while she spoke. Then he looked her in the face, and said in a slow, hoarse, measured way—'I do mean it, Margaret. You must not deceive yourself in doubting the reality of my words—my fixed intention and resolve.' He looked at her in the same steady, stony manner, for some moments after he had done speaking.'"

Oooooooh, this one rankles me. So he's entitled to lament and wish he wasn't married and was all by himself to do as he pleased (which is probably emotionally devastating for Margaret to hear, by the way), but she's not allowed to wish this wasn't real? To cry out for her dad for comfort on the same night she's told she has to leave her childhood home? Wow, not very kind or fatherly of you Mr. Hale. This definitely does not raise my opinion of him.

Margaret stares back at him and sees he is indeed serious. She has no more to sa and she decides to leave the situation. This is probably for the best because I imagine she needs time alone. However, Mr. Hale has one more thing to say:

“'The blessing of God be upon thee, my child!'”

Am I the only one who read this and thought "after all of this you have the audacity...?" Like, yes, of course, as a Christian, he's free to say this. But I see him saying this in the authority of a minster and...he's not anymore. Or he's almost not. The other problem I see with this is if he's blessing her because he feels she "needs it" after her outburst...no, no she doesn't. She didn't do anything wrong. She handled it as well as could be expected. I don't think an 18 year-old is going to just smile and nod at this!! Heck, an adult wouldn't -- just look at how Mrs. Hale is (probably) going to react! He's so worried over her reaction he won't even tell her himself! So yeah, for lots of reasons, this rubs me the wrong way.

“'And may He restore you to His Church,' responded she, out of the fulness of her heart. The next moment she feared lest this answer to his blessing might be irreverent, wrong—might hurt him as coming from his daughter, and she threw her arms round his neck."

Honestly, I saw her response and was like "AS SHE SHOULD!!!" Of course, Margaret is too kind-hearted and loves her dad too much to let that stand, so she makes up for it by hugging him. I love her for that!

I think this passage shows how kind she can be even in the face of such emotional stress. Yes, she says things in the heat of the moment (as I've been told and have figured out, she tends to lash out when she's upset, especially when she feels attacked), but she doesn't let them stand. Could she have walked out in this moment? Yes, and I honestly wouldn't have blamed her for it. Instead, she chose to hug her father and show him she still loves him. It's a powerful moment and shows a lot about Margaret's character!

The moment is quickly broken when Mrs. Hale asks for Margaret. Mr. Hale reminds her of her promise and she agrees, walking away "in a stunned and dizzy state"...

As a final note, I want to make it clear again that I don't blame Mr. Hale for wanting to quit his job for mental health reasons. If the job was too much pressure on him and he felt the need to leave -- that's valid. No one should be forced to stay in a job they hate! However, my problems are with the fact that he never communicated this and chose to bottle it up to the point of quitting his job and arranging for his family to move behind their back, fully knowing they would hate it. He didn't tell them because he didn't want them to influence his decision, which is just...if you can't trust your family to give you guidance: that's bad. I think it was really just an excuse for him to do whatever he wanted, knowing he would get away with it. Finally, my biggest issue comes in with making Margaret tell her mother -- his wife -- of this. That is truly a horrible move on his part and very unfair to both his daughter and his partner!! If he's willing to take all of these steps, he should at least commit to telling both of them. So, yeah, just wanted to make it clear that I don't blame him for why he quit his job, just more how he went about it and the current fallout.

I imagine this next chapter will see Margaret telling her mother of the move...let's see how that goes!

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Image ID in alt text and under the readmore.

[Image ID. White slide with a screenshot of Dr. Brennan, portrayed by Emily Deschanel, on the right. She is surrounded by several text boxes which read,

"- doesn't understand social cues/expectations - low empathy (at the beginning of the show) - got a job in her main interest - show's creator confirmed (post-series) that she was written to be autistic!!!"

"According to show creators, her character was inspired by an autistic woman"

"oh she so autism"

"have you seen her"

"brennan is kind of the CLASSICAL womanautism character. poorly socialized. very literalminded. indifferent to consuming media. a hyperspecialist in her field. bad at dealing with her emotions. finds it difficult to accept perspectives outside of her own in any respect but especially in science and religion. very kind and caring but it's filtered through layers of pragmatism! bones is the autismcoding show and she is the queen of it. her special interest is bones. i don't know if she's gonna get many submissions because i'm pretty sure tumblr isn't a very big Bones Fandom website but. she was based on a friend of the show creator who was diagnosed at the time with Asperger's 'cause this was 2005!! but the network didn't want to canonize it so that the show could still appeal to a larger audience. anyways. Dr. Temperance "Bones" Brennan is the Autism Queen"

"In the classical sense she is a genius, but also along with that she has almost zero personal skills. At first it seems it's done to keep people at arms length, but as that desire fizzles away it becomes quite clear that she just doesn't understand. She doesn't pick up on social cues or sarcasm or jokes usually. She also at times attempts to joke around like she's seen others do and does it incorrectly making people upset instead."

"Saw the ask about her and yeah I think she should get in because she's my mom's blorbo and my mom is pretty cool :)"

"All you have to do is watch a single episode and you'll see it. I'm not super aware about what makes people autistic but just going off what I think I know: Brennan is not very good with interpersonal relationships, but each unique one she has is completely unique in her interactions. The way she speaks and her movements and her mannerisms make it clear she sees the world differently. She was the weird kid in school (more than just being a foster kid). She has found her Topic: anthropology-specifically human bones. She is very detail oriented in this matter and uses her observation skills to solve huge mysteries from hundreds years ago or last night. I believe she has been repeatedly coded as autistic and I am like 90% sure I read an article where her actress (emily deschanel) confirmed that was how she approached the character." End ID.]

[mad-scientist-showdown]

so maybe donnie propaganda has been emphasizing his war criminal tendencies a little too much in explaining why he fits the mad/evil scientist character. but. my god he loves his family so much it’s so obvious in canon that it’s easy for us to not mention it to others bc it just seems so ‘of course he does’ for us but I get why people who’ve never seen rise would just think ‘bro why’s he trying to kill his family all the time he doesn’t really sound like a good person’ SO:

a large portion of all his inventions are made in an attempt to keep his family safe and/or happy. his bed decked out in guns and lasers was so when any of his family members slept in it, they’d know for certain they’d be safe and nothing could hurt them. He made portable escape pods that could be easily carried around in a collapsed form and deployed to eject anyone from a bad situation easily (this saved Leo’s life). Even the stuff that caused conflict/hurt his family were made with good (if misguided) intentions, like making his bros smarter or the gifts that were made to encourage them to act ‘safer’ in battle (stop Leo from joking around in combat, have Raph plan ahead, don’t let Mikey crash into things)

also if you’ve ever had a sibling you can’t say you also wouldn’t make a death machine after they eat/drink the last of something you wanted. realistic sibling behavior fr fr

Yeah don't worry, I at least fully get that his actions that show him "not caring for his family" are exaggerated for the comedy and not to be taken like, at face value. We see that all the time in fiction, especially cartoons, it sounds really ridiculous to me to actually have a problem with a character because of that, and especially in the mad scientist tournament where we celebrate it anyway.

It's also not great when people confuse low empathy for "not giving a shit" and then villanize it and equate it with "bad person" :/ trust me I am familiar with this. Btw even if he was actually what he is accused of I would still support him, even more <3

Also I have siblings so can confirm. Realistic sibling behavior fr fr

[sticksbatnix]

I know its super late, but on your Batman Beyond thoughts, I always wonder where all these powerful and weird looking misfit teenagers become Jokerz?

Or like does Bonk have parents, if so did they care about his death?

You make a very good point here, anon.

The show, as great as it is, fails to elaborate much on The Jokerz's past as a whole. Sure, there are tidbits here and there but more should have been added to properly explain how and why they joined The Jokerz in the first place.

Sure, make the point they were dumb teens who didn't know better, but there's more than that, there always is.

So let's explain it further by the five W’s.

Who, What, Where, When, and Why.

Who?

Who are the characters presented to us?

Ghoul, DeeDee, Chucko, Wolf, and Bonk.

And whoever other teenager dressing up is similar to either The Joker or Harley Quinn herself.

What?

What is happening to these characters and the people around them?

Simple, a group of misfit teenagers go out of their way to cause chaos and mischief wherever they go. Of course, lacking general empathy, causing property damage, and directly or indirectly murdering people whether they were innocent or not. And to be stopped by either law enforcement or by The Batman.

Where?

Gotham City, more specifically Neo-Gotham City.

The various old and decrepit buildings of what Gotham City was like before were long forgotten. Likely, used for the citizens of Gotham who couldn't afford the luxurious apartments and homes near and within Neo-Gotham.

When?

The future.

A time beyond Batman’s prime in time for a new Batman to take place. Just in time to handle the new and chaotic criminals that run or fly freely across the city. New technology, new law enforcement, new drugs, and new opportunities to cause havoc upon the citizens of the futuristic city.

Why?

Many reasons, few predictable, others reasonable, and the rest unexplainable.

Throughout the show, it's shown that various teenagers who go into a life of crime have rough backgrounds. Abusive or neglectful parents, low income, bullying, or even the corruption of authorities.

Bonk’s death, while brief, shows the cruel reality that many of these young criminal teenagers would face. Yes, they may be having fun, but over time they’ll be able to face life-threatening situations that may end their life. It could be painful, it could be painless, or it could have long-lasting effects if they survived. In Bonk’s case, he made the fatal mistake of going up against The Joker, paying dearly for it, and dying with a permanent smile on his face.

His body might as well be disposed of near or in a trashcan. I doubt DeeDee would go the extra mile to deliver his body to his parents, but if they did I can't imagine the horror his parents would have finding his corpse laid out on their front porch. Now, whether or not they cared for Bonk is unknown, but judging his brutish personality I could only speculate he cared for himself and likely hated being seen as lesser than everyone else. Especially his parents.

The other Jokerz can be speculated as well.

Ghoul came from a rich family, likely running off to live a life without rules and regulations. I've written a few scenarios about this on this blog about this. His family likely disowned him because of his involvement with The Jokerz as I never see them visit him when he's captured.

DeeDee are related to Harley Quinn, now whether they know about that is up in the air. But it's obvious they were inspired despite how much their ‘Nana Harley’ despised them for it. They seem to enjoy the limelight of joining forces to cause havoc and chaos all at once despite everyone telling them not to.

Chucko is a bully who loves inflicting misery on others. Likely joined The Jokerz to bully others without consequences and cause mass amounts of destruction. Whether or not he came from a bad family, it's clear that Chucko enjoys bullying others he sees as lesser than him.

Wolf was human before being spliced with hyena DNA and became the rabid creature we all know. It's possible that he felt a clear connection with animals, specifically dogs, rather than with his own family. Maybe he felt like being a dog/hyena made him feel more complete rather than living his life out like a human.

And we already talked about Bonk.

God knows about the other Jokerz members.

Sometimes I wonder what would happen in the next ten years for these characters and where they’ll be then.

Would they be dead? Would they get proper help and move on? Would they still be in jail? Would they change their whole gimmick and become like the villains from the past?

This reminds me, I found an artist on Devianart who specifically drew The Jokerz gang if they took part in the inspirations of past villains. Ghoul as Scarecrow, Wolf as Killer Croc, and Bonk as Bane. It's very creative and I feel like it should get more attention for how creative they all were.

Nonetheless, The Jokerz gang should be talked more about not only for their missed potential but for their capability to do so much more.

[sunderingstars]

Lyra, Sagittarius, Fornax, and Puppis for the ask game!! ⋆˙⟡♡

hello beloved mootie !! (づ๑•ᴗ•๑)づ♡

(based on this ask game)

lyra ⟡ when do you feel most at ease?

⟢ daydreaming or reading in bed. i’ve spent a lot of time making my room somewhere i want to be, so getting to lay down at the end of a long day and relax with my mood lighting is so nice (plus, my bed is comfy as hell (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝)♡). finding a good book makes the experience ten times better, especially if my cat decides to visit and cuddle. on the go, listening to music always makes me feel better, even if i’m somewhere that stresses me out.

sagittarius ⟡ what is something random that most people don’t know about you?

⟢ i have an incredibly extensive daydream universe — i’ve had a daydream narrative for pretty much every part of my life, and can categorize them by year. my favorite has probably been sophomore through senior year of high school, where my daydreams focused on a somewhat canon-compliant, sci-fi au for rei todoroki & nana shimura from my hero academia! right now, i have a sideblog focused on my current narrative, which includes a half-original, half-self insert based plot.

fornax ⟡ what quality does a person need to have for you to instantly like or click with them?

⟢ kindness & empathy. if someone is aware of the horrors of the world but continues to make an effort to be kind to others, i have a lot of respect for them. this can translate into many different situations (i.e. being nice to animals, thanking customer service workers, taking care of family, etc.) but the common thread is having empathy for others. i tend to gravitate towards introverted and low-drama people as well!

puppis ⟡ what's the most stupid / disappointing / bad movie or tv show you have ever seen?

⟢ my mom and i sometimes watch corny b-movies together, so if we’re talking “so bad it’s good” territory, i’d have to say the sharknado series or anything in that “b-movie monster takeover genre” — they’re definitely a guilty pleasure!

⟢ however, if we’re talking about the stuff that grinds my gears, my hero academia fell out of favor with me years ago due to some writing issues (especially the endeavor redemption arc and general direction) and i stand by the fact quirkless deku would’ve been a more impactful narrative.

⟢ also, as a tolkien fan rings of power is very disappointing. there’s a lot of inconsistencies and lackluster creative directions that i think could’ve been avoided by sticking closer to the source material. i’m aware that the creative team may have run into copyright or licensing issues with the silmarillion and i’m all for bringing new ideas to the table, but i still think better plot & character decisions could’ve been made.

bonus ⟡ good movies and tv shows i like

⟢ at my core i’m really not built to be a hater, so i figured i’d share some movies & shows i like after ranting in the last section!

⟢ movies: the lord of the rings trilogy (2001-2003) and annihilation (2018). these are some of my favorite movies of all time, and are a masterclass in adaptive plot, characters, and music — they’ve heavily shaped my interests and growth as a person, and i highly recommend them to any fans of genre fiction.

⟢ shows: hunter x hunter (2011), arcane (2021), and andor (2022). these are my top three shows at the moment. hunter x hunter is hands-down my favorite anime of all time, and the rewatchability of arcane & andor is insane. like lotr, these shows are also masterclasses of their mediums and genres, combining some of the most beautiful character development i’ve seen with the screenwriting i wish rings of power had.

thank you for indulging my yap session! 🪐

[selfproclaimedunicorn]

if you're still taking questions for that tav ask meme: 8, 17, 22, 26!

Thank you! Lol, I just finished my first run of the game last night & I am rotating my Tav around in my brain because of it

8: After Act 3, what does their life look like? What are they talking about at the reunion party?

She did not join the adventuring guild she'd been trying to join before the tadpole thing (even though she definitely totally qualifies now & they're over her companions dying in said tadpole thing since she helped save the world), but that's fine because she's adventuring on her own! Mardora doesn't need a group, she can go out on her own to make the world a safer, better place in the name of the dwarffather (& if Shadowheart is also doing the solo adventuring/exploring thing then maybe they link up sometimes. Y'know, for old time's sake). She also maintains a decent relationship with her dad & her mom's family, so breaks between adventures will be spent catching up in either Baldur's Gate or Eartheart (or with one of the other game companions if they feel like letting her stay over for a few days).

17: Do they have any enemies outside of the main plot? Any friends?

No enemies (unless you count some low level monsters/goblins/duergar she could potentially be pointed at with all the righteous fury of your average hill dwarf), yes to friends though! They got a bit distant after Mardora left home, but she does try to maintain her friendship with her bestie from her pre-adventurer life. The send each other letters for a while, but maintenance did get pretty hard when she was unexpectedly on the road for, like, 2 months to try & stop a cult/fix Peepaw Withers's mistake/get rid of an illithid tadpole...which is not even addressing how hard that maintenance gets when she literally flies off into the sunset to help Lae'zel free the githyanki people from Vlaakith.

22: How is your Tav's relationship with their family? Their parents?

Mardora is "what if mommy issues was a person?" The feelings there are very complicated--she loves her mom, but there's also resentment there because "what do you mean I was lied to for over 50 years? What do you mean I have to put my early dwarf!adulthood on pause to take care of a dying woman?" But she's also, like, 53/in the equivalent of her 30s, so she's enough of an adult that she's got a lot of empathy to extend to the memory of her mom.

She's fairly close to her mom's siblings, but it's also kinda complicated there too. "How much of the lying were they complicit in because of Tradition™? How much was just them not knowing what was going on?" Her Uncle Doltharn did tell her the long & short of everything after a while though & supported Mardora in making steps towards her dreams even if they took her away from home--so he's good people & she has the least conflicted feelings about him.

In terms of her dad, they're kind of more friends than family given she didn't meet him till...like 4 months before the start of the game? It's a bit awkward, but they get on. They are, ironically, both clerics of Moradin, so that probably helped bridge some gaps.

26: Give us one of your Tav's secrets!

When she was dwarf!10 she stole a stuffed tressym from a merchant because she thought it was cute. She felt so bad about it that three days later she snuck it back into the shop.

[sharonrb]

Okoye x Attuma: For the Love of You pt 5

No warnings here

Chapter Nine

Namor stood on the beach; watching as Shuri flew the jet low over his head deliberately, going back to Wakanda. Their meeting had gone bad, with him being who he is, Namlr. ‘Bye Namor, we will not ever speak this way again,’ resonated in his mind. He knew exactly what she meant. Never again, will she ever come to him, for anything anymore. His dealings will be with the King of Wakanda, M'Baku, from this day forth.

It could have been different, also ring loud in his head. What did he expect; how this would play out? After he deliberately came to Wakanda, to kill the Queen. Did he really believe; Shuri would eventually forgive him, for drowning her mother? And right in front her; showing no empathy, as she screamed for her mother.

His biggest mistake was underestimating Shuri. He felt she was naïve, and innocent; easily manipulated, that her being Queen, she could be intimidated. But he now realizes; her brilliant mind would be his downfall. Two sayings he quoted to her, when he held her in Talokan; he ignored in this quest, to rule over to powerful nations.

First, his ancestors would often say, only the most broken people, can be great leaders. He broke her, and she led a few; into battle, and won. Secondly, without the Black Panther, Wakanda would fall. He didn’t understand the resilience of the Wakandans; nor the ability of Shuri. She tried to recreate the heart shaped herb, to save her brother. And unknown to him, he gave her the missing ingredient, she needed inside his mother’s bracelet. Once again, the Black Panther lived. The Black Panther is the symbol of Wakanda, and not one person.

Shuri had confided in him, about how she felt; losing her brother. He stomped on that information and took the last of her family. The one who carried her for nine months; and gave her life, nurtured her and protected her, knew her better than she knew herself. No, there is no going back from such a betrayal. He let out a huge breath, knowing whatever hope he had; was dash there on the beach. The very one he met with her mother, as she pleaded for the return of her daughter. And all along, she had the upper hand, sending a rescue for Shuri and RiRi, while he laughed in her face, making her feel helpless. He gazed up into the sky, taking in the quiet of the night.

Shuri flew the jet back to Wakanda; she could have kicked herself and spared herself, the humiliation of asking that creep for anything. But Okoye’s life was more important; then her pride. M'Baku was right, it was a waste of time, and energy. Why didn’t she see this, when he talked of burning down the surface world, and suggested they do it together? Because, he overheard her say something in grief. And then demanding Wakanda help Talokan, or her would destroy it. Not to mention, one of his guards try to kill her when Nakia came for the rescue.

“Hmmph,” she expressed. “Who gave them that order, Namor?” Everything he does, is about what he wants or needs; not the benefit of others. He's smooth and his words or manipulative; he says the right things, but in his heart is another. She meant it, he can deal with M'Baku; she has other things to think about.

Meanwhile.

The Talokan prison was unique. It sat upon an underwater hill, overlooking the Capitol city. Its structure was unusually designed; long beams made up of granite rock, sand, and seaweed, that was one row after another. The cells were enormous spheres, and their material; were almost the same, as the water balls and grenades, used to attack Wakanda, but sturdier.

The cells hung from the beams, by seaweed and sand, twisted into reinforced ropes. The doors were four long bars made of vibrainum, and a small window with three small bars. Though the prison had been there forever, it hadn’t been in use for years. The Talokanils, pretty much followed the laws put in place, by their K'uk'ulkan.

So therefore, Attuma was the only prisoner these days. Now, a young dolphin happened to be swimming by, and Attuma in one of the cells; and found it strange, since no one has been placed in there for years. It swam back to its group, communicating what it saw, and curious to why?

The word spread, as all the sea creature affiliated with the Talokanils; found this an abnormally. Word got back to a herd of whales Tmay and Attuma’s pet was in. He heard the commotion, and went to explore for himself; passing over, and saw it was his master, then called out to him.

Attuma was laying down meditating. This was the only thing he could do; without going stir crazy. He thought he heard Tmay, but wasn’t sure; until he called again. He swam to the door, looking out and seeing the giant pass over. Tmay came up to the door, his huge eye staring at him.

Attuma reached out and touched him, sensing him stressing, Tmay swam away. Attuma floated there gripping the bars for a few moments; then went back to lay down. Just as he got comfortable, he felt this shaking, like an underwater quake, and explosions, as the apparatus being torn apart. Everything went into chaos; the prison came crashing down. He felt his cell, being pulled away through the water, as it moved away from Talokan.

Attuma took this time to bust out, something he hadvbeen contemplating since his imprisonment. He kicked the door loose with one blow. He the saw the guards chasing, but some of the orcas, and whales were running interference. The guards finally gave up, as the herd of Tmay formed a shield as Attuma and Tmay made their getaway. Attuma grabbed hold of Tmay's flipper, as they sped on towards Wakanda.

Namor returned to find the guards, and Namora in a uproar. She swam to him, to inform him of Attuma’s escape; and how it was done. He told them to mount up, that they were going after him. They called to the Orcas, whales and dolphins, for their rides, but none responded. That’s when they knew, the creatures were aiding in the escape. Namor grew angry, but knew it wasn’t much he could do for now. He would use this as a way to break the alliance; if M'Baku did not return Attuma to them.

“What do we do about the animals?” Namora asked.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“They refused to perform their duties,” she said.

“What do you think we should do, Namora?” he asked. “Something that will not, bring every sea creature down upon us, with a wrath; even I could not defend against.” Namora stared blankly at him, pondering the chaos Talokan would be thrown in.

“Right,” she said, then left.

Okoye isn’t doing well; Attuma will get to her, but will he be in time? Once she is gone, he will be left with no purpose, but to return broken hearted, and beg for his forgiveness. He will, but there will be some conditions, he will have to abide by. Yes, this may work in his favor after all, Namor thought to himself.

Attuma hung on as Tmay sped towards Wakanda and Okoye. All he could think about; is finally, he can hold her in his arms, feel her lips on his, their bodies touching each other, completing the bond between them, and becoming one in mind, body and soul. He will never leave her side again.

He grew dark, thinking about what Namor will attempt, once he knows he has escaped. He will use this to break the alliance, and try to start a war between the two kingdoms. Namor had this perception of Attuma; that he was intellectually challenged. And the fact, Attuma allowed him to continue with this thought. But in reality, Attuma truly was highly intelligent; and little did Namor know, he has been studying their bylaws. So, when the time comes, and Namor chooses to force the Wakandans into a war; Attuma will invoke one of those laws against Namor, and he will not be able to refuse.

Shuri made it back into Wakanda and landed on the platform near the lab. She told Ayo and Aneka to go home, and get some rest. There was nothing more, any of them can do right now. M’Baku had already left, with instructions to call him if anything develops. Shuri went into her lab, trying trying, what she could do to free Okoye from this hold.

“Griot run that sequence once again,” she ordered her AI.

“If I may say, Princess,” he said.

“Yes, speak,” she told him.

“If Attuma will come, as M’omee Zasanda says; shouldn’t we prepare for his arrival?” Griot asked.

“What do you mean?” Shuri asked.

“He is a sea person am I correct?” He asks.

“Yeah, so what are you saying?” She was confused.

“He will have to escape to get here, and that will mean; no preparation. He will have none of his equipment to assure his survival, nor supplies, he will need to sustain himself on land. He will soon perish after assisting Okoye, if not before.” Shuri realized, what Griot was saying is true. Attuma will not have anything to keep him a live; due to his expedient getaway.

“Griot, tell me. What are the chances, he will escape, and make it?” She asked.

“I calculate it is ninety-nine-point ninety-nine percent; he is on his way now.” He informed her.

“What? Griot, are you sure he escaped, and coming? She asked.

“I detected a disturbance from the area of the Talokan sea, whales and other sea mammals were on the rampage, I am receiving. The new alert warnings; you set up on the land near Talokan tonight, are working.” She wasn’t sure they would, since they hadn’t been tested until now. She went about making plans, for Attuma's appearance.

“You summon me?” Namora enter the room; Namor sat at the table.

“Yes, I did. I need you to prepare our army, we’re going to Wakanda to get Attuma,” he ordered. “If there is any resistance; we will attack.” Namora stood for a moment; a grim expression donned her face. Namor had been looking down, while he told her what to do; but looked up at her, realizing she wasn’t moving, and saw her face. “Is there something wrong, my child?”

“Yes, K'uk'ulkan,” she answered. “Much of this is wrong.” Namor has always had a softness with her, even when she has over stepped the boundaries. But this, is a touch of questioning him, something she has done one time too many. He rose to his feet, and approached her; she stood her ground, having enough of all of this.

“And tell me Namora, what is wrong with so much of this?” He asked. She could hear the anger in his voice, though his face didn’t reveal it.

“We have an alliance with Wakanda, coming to them with an army; will present an act of aggression,” she said. “When I came to you; angry you had bowed before the Black Panther, and yield. Remember what you told me?” His eyes brows furrowed.

“I told you; the Black Panther had a right to kill me, but she did not,” he said.

“Her right; because we attacked Wakanda, and you killed her mother.” She reminded him. “But she did not, and why is that K'uk'ulkan?” What was it you told me, and convince me; your decision to yield was the right thing to do?”

“Her empathy for our people, and that the surface world will come after Wakanda,” he said to her.

“And when they do, what did we promise Wakanda?” She asked. “The ones we caused, so much pain and death?” His eyes narrowed more than they had, as the conversation progress. Namora regurgitated the things he told her, after the battle with the Black Panther; which remains a sore spot in his existence.

“I am not sure why all of a sudden, you are defending these surface dwellers?” He snapped at her.

“Because, you told me to trust you on this, and I did. I realized, it was best for Talokan, to have Wakandan; not only protecting our waters from above; but our very presence. Something, we really do not deserve.”

“They killed two of your sisters, remember how angry you were?” He says to her.

“Yes, I was very angry, and afraid; if they could find us, they could send their whole army, and attack Talokan. But they did not, even after what we did to them. I was wrong about them.” She told him.

“So, what is it you suggest we do?” He asked of her.

“Not this, not this again,” she said. “We have no idea their true power; but they know ours. And then there is Attuma, he will not come without a fight, K'uk'ulkan. Are you prepared to battle him?” Namor came closer to her, lowering his head; until he looked her in the eyes.

“No one disobeys orders and a decree, then escapes the trial,” he said. His voice calm, but ominous.” She stared him in the eyes, and saw something she didn’t like; this alarmed her. “So, to answer your question. Yes, I am ready to battle; even Attuma, if I must. I have to let all of Talokan know; I am not to be withstood; if so, there are dire consequences.”

“You,” she said. “It’s all about you. Attuma was right, you give the pretense you are doing what is best for us. But it is your needs, your wants that drive you. We are the excuse you use to pull it off.” Namor was on her before she could breathe, his hand raised to back hand her.

Tears filled her eyes, as he lowered it; and turned away. Without another word, she fled into the water, and swam away. He turned, lowering his head; never had he lifted his hand, to harm any of his people. Why now? What was fueling this insanity? Then the answer came to him, like a light bulb brightening a room.

If he allowed Attuma to get away with his defiance of the law and order in place. What would stop another Talokanil feel its alright to challenge his authority? Look what just happened with Namora, her refusing to carry out his order. No, they all, Wakandans and Talokanils; have to know who he is, K'uk'ulkan, the Feather Serpent God.

Shuri checked in on Okoye, after preparing for Attuma arrival if Griot is correct. They haven’t been able to pick up on his whereabouts, since the estimated time of his escape from Talokan. They will have to be patient until her gets there, and assist him then. She stared up and one of her display and newest creation.

“This will work well, if everything goes as planned,” she whispered to herself.

“Princess,” Griot interrupted her thoughts.

“Yes,” she replied.

“Okoye’s heart rate has dropped,” he told her. She turned to look at the monitor, and saw a significant decrease. She rushed in and saw she was barely breathing, even with the oxygen mask. She felt that hopelessness resurfaced.

“Attuma, where are you?” She said to herself.

Okoye could hear the pain in Shuri’s voice and wished she could fight her way out of this, but she felt, this was something weapons of war would not defeat. She could feel being pulled into a mist rising up and encircling her. This was not good, she sensed.

Attuma felt this huge dread wash over him. He knew it had something to do with Okoye’s condition. She was sinking into the darkness, the one where there is no returned. He moved to the back of Tmay and hopped onto his tail, then commanded him to toss him as high and far, as possibly. He did.

Attuma flew into the air, and a great distance from where he once had been. He pressed his arms close to his body, making himself a human missile, cutting through the air. He had not tried this before; but understood how Namor felt flying. It was exuberating. He could have done this forever, but without his rebreather; he was going into distress. He guided his body back into the water, and swam with great intensity to get to his destination, Okoye.

“Didn’t Namora pass on my orders?” He asked, one of the warriors, seeing no one was assembled in the meeting hall for his speech.

“No K'uk'ulkan, I have not seen her,” he was told. He looked around, to see if he could find her. “Look for her, and let her know; I want to speak with her. One of the warriors overheard him, and came to him.

“K'uk'ulkan, may I approach?” He asked.

“Yes, you may,” he was curious to what he wanted. “I heard you were asking about Namora?”

“Yes, you know anything about her whereabouts?” He asked.

“I heard a group of warriors talking about her saying, she was leaving forever,” he told him. “And then she swam away on one of the orcas.” Namor’s whole body shook, his heart nearly pausing. He remembered the day she was born, and her excitement to be picked for his training; when she became of age. Now, she’s gone to parts unknown.

“What was that?” He asked, surly he heard wrong.

“They said she told them, she was leaving; and never coming back,” he repeated. “Something about done with this, and not wanting to see the two people she loved the most, killing each other.” Namor thought through what was told him. Then looked at the person, and fanned them away; he looked at the newly elected second in command.

“You are my General now,” he told him. The two he had given the most to; have been his biggest disappointment; and betrayers. “Send out a search party, and bring her back. You will come with me to Wakanda, get your army prepared. We leave very soon.”

“Yes, K’uk’ulkan,” he gave the Talokanil salute, and sped away to carry out his orders. Namor went to her dwelling, just in case; what was told to him was a falsehood. And she was there sulking from their earlier encounter. She was not there, but evidence of her departure showed. She had indeed, gone from Talokan. He would make the both of them a public example; no one rebels against him, and not pay the price in doing so. He went back to his quarters to prepare for their journey; focusing on the easier one, Attuma.

Chapter 10

Okoye sunk lower into obscurity; and the idea was, nothing could be done on their part to help her. Ayo, Aneka, Nakia, lingered at her side; while Shuri continued trying various sequences, that may break, or reverse, what was going on. But all were a failure, she was witnessing the same occurrence as her fight to save her brother.

“Griot, is there any other variation we can try?” She asked, but knew they had tried everything.

“No, Princess, all have been run. Okoye’s heart rate is slowing down to forty.” Griot revealed. Shuri left the lab without a word, and hoped it was true, Attuma is on his way. He was their only hope now.

Attuma raced towards Wakanda and to Okoye; as fast as Tmay could carry him. Now, Attuma was never one of patience, and not one at the time of desperation. He swam to the back of Tmay again and got on his tail, and by instinct the whale swung him out of the water as far as possible.

Again, Attuma tighten his arms close to his body, giving himself that better propulsion. This cut down the distance between Wakanda and himself. When he felt the distress from lack of breath, he lowered his head and cut through the water with enormous speed. He was a man on a mission, and sparing none of his abilities; time was of the essence.

M'bandi laid by the banks of Okoye’s first interaction with Attuma. She had been there all night, waiting for some reason. But somehow, she sensed him coming; and called out to him. Tmay heard her in the distance, and rushed under Attuma, flipped him one more time into the air, and towards the banks. Attuma could see Mbandi waiting for him. He landed inches from her, mounted her, and guided her along the banks. He needed to get where the warriors of the river tribe were, and seek their help to get to Okoye.

Okoye felt herself being pulled into darkness, it was quiet and cold; she could hardly see inches in front of her. There was a small speck of light before her; she had the urge to follow it. The closer she got, the larger it grew; until she walked through it, and unto another place.

“No,” Shuri put her kimoyo beads on her chest, trying to revive her dear friend. Ayo called M'Baku, informing him of Okoye’s change of condition. He rushed over to be there for the women, if things went bad.

Attuma made it to the where the warriors guarded the border. He slid off M'bandi, weaken from not having his mask. One came to him, as he was on his knees trying to tell them that he needed to get to Okoye, but none spoke his language. One called the Palace informing them of his arrival, and him trying to tell them something.

“Attuma is at the river tribe, and he is not looking good,” M'Baku informed Shuri. She rushed from Okoye’s side, and into her lab. There was nothing more she could do for Okoye, and hoped Attuma could.

“Go to the platform, when the jet arrives, place this mask on him immediately,” she instructed, her two lab assistants. Then went to the jet simulator, and sent one to get Attuma. He laid on the ground barely alive, when the aircraft came and hovered over him. The beam lifted him aboard and whisked him away, and landed on the platform near the lab. The lab assistants rushed aboard and immediately placed the mask on him. Soon he had regained some of his strength, and gestured he needed to get to Okoye. They didn’t understand him what he was saying, but only went by what Shuri had instructed. To bring him directly to her.

Okoye looked around and knew she was somewhere, but not sure where. The coloring were shades of blues and purples. In the distance she could see her home. She slowly made her way there, looking for her dear pet rhino, Mbandi; to come running anytime, to meet her with that long-wet tongue against her face.

Attuma was brought to Shuri's laboratory, she was happy to see him. She grabbed his arm, and raced to where Okoye’s laid, expired as far as they knew; but hoped he could work some type of miracle to revive her. He entered to room, and looked upon her lifeless body. His heart breaking at the sight, but waste no time gathering her into his arms. He cradled her head with one hand, looking at her beautiful face.

“You all may want to leave,” he said. But gestured with his hand.

“What is he saying?” M'Baku asked.

“Griot,” Shuri called out to her AI, but when Attuma pressed his mouth to Okoye’s but, and begin to hum, everyone exited quickly, not wanting to feel the siren effect. It first started off low, then crescendo into a song more than a hum. A song that told a tale of them, and the life ahead; for just the two of them.

“Okoye,” his voice flowed through the air, caressing her ear. She was in front of her house, walking towards it, and getting ready to go on the porch. But she turned, to see him running to her; after hearing him calling her.

“Attuma?” She questioned him being there. Was this another out of body experience she has been going through, since the merging. Or was it just a dream.

“Okoye,” he was just a few feet from her, but wasn’t allowed to go any further. She would have to choose to come to him, and back to her life. “You need to come to me, if you go into your house; you will never see any of us again.” She looked at her house, then back to him.

“What are you saying?” She asked, bewildered. So much stranger than life occurrences. “Why would I not ever see anyone again, if I go into my house?”

“Because, this is the place you all go for the tonality of your existence,” he explained. She gasped.

“The Ancestral Plane?” She asked. “I am dead?”

“Not yet, but if you go inside your house, you will be,” he told her. Now, she understood why M’bandi wasn’t present. She looked about her knowing, but needed confirmation. “Is this a dream?”

“No, my dear warrior, this is real. I am here to bring you back to us, and complete our bond,” he told her. “But it has to be your choice.” Okoye stared at her house, as it beckoned to her, then looked to Attuma with his outstretched hand. Finally, a chance to feel him, she walked into his arms; hearing the beautiful song he was singing to her, and just for her.

She opened her eyes and focus them, as his face became clearer. He had this beautiful smile, that lit up once their eyes met. He lowered his head, removing his mask, and kissed her for the first time in reality. She moaned from the passion that exuberated from him.

The energy that coursed between them was powerful. He raised his head, parting their lips, and placed the mask back on; his eyes never left hers. Slowly, the others entered the room, hearing the song had ceased; they were elated to see Okoye alive and well.

“She will need to regain her strength, but she is alright, and we are now mates,” he told them. Okoye translated what he said.

“Tell him I made something for him, when he can spare the time,” Shuri told her. Okoye told him.

“Alright everyone,” M'Baku said. “Let’s give them their privacy. There will be plenty of time to play catch up later.” Reluctantly, they did as what was told, but understood what he was saying. Attuma was too into Okoye to noticed they had left, his eyes continued gazing into hers. He sighed a huge relief, having her there in his arms, the vibe completed.

“How did you get out of prison?” She asked.

“You remembered coming to see me?” He asked, surprised. He knows the ritual of the vibe, but never actually experienced it. Some things, that may happen; could be new to him as well.

“Yes, I remember everything,” she told him. “I remember your kiss each time.” Attuma smiled. Of all that happened, she mentions their kiss.

“Nothing more?” He asked. She went solemn, trying to recall her everything.

“Each time I came was for a reason, but you would always warn me to go back. That’s when you would kiss me, and I wound up back here,” she told him.

“As you become stronger, you will remember more,” he said. “Now rest my warrior.” He laid her head down on the pillow.

“I am not a warrior anymore,” she told him, he could hear the sadness. “I was stripped of my positioned, by the Queen when you took the Princess. I promised her I would protect Shuri, but I failed.”

“But we fought on the ship,” he was confused.

“Something Shuri had created before I was demoted,” she explained.

“Maybe something you might want to explore?” he suggested. She thought about it, they already have a name. Maybe even recruit more to form another branch of their military. “Once a warrior always a warrior,” he told her. “Let me go see what the Princess has for me. Rest, I will return.”

Shuri was having Griot to analyze, and monitor Okoye’s progress when Attuma entered. She went to one of her glass displays, and showed him her latest creation. A suit made just for him, to be out of water for periods of time. It had the similar covering over their gills, which held water. But instead of the mask, it had the nose spectum, and tubes extending from them to the suit; circulating water through the nose.

“Try it on,” Shuri told him. “I need to make sure it fits, how comfortable you are in it, and most of all; if it works properly.” Griot set the translator for each of them. Attuma begin to strip down which shocked Shuri.

“No, no, hold on.” She stopped him. “In here,” she took him to a private room. She forgot how wild and free the Talokanils are, unlike the Wakandans. Well, some other tribes outside the five main ones; do have their rituals. Attuma reappeared in his suit, looking quite different from what he had looked before. Full body suit with the added apparatus to breath on land. “Nice,” she gave him the thumbs up.

“How will I mate with my warrior, with this clothing covering my body?” He asked. Shuri's eyes darted about, not quite sure how to address this question.

“I think maybe you should work that out with your mate,” is the best answer she could give him. He left her to deal with her embarrassment. Boy, is he got it for Okoye, she thought.

Okoye had drifted off to sleep; her body finally shutting down, to recover from the trauma it went through. Attuma came in and sat beside her, gazing upon the one he fought so hard to save. He leaned in and kissed her lightly on the forehead.

“Sleep my warrior, we have plenty of time now,” he told her. The suit was already regenerating his diminished strength; used to get there, and bring her back from the brink of death. It was not an easy task, so much could have gone wrong.

Namor swam into the Capitol city of Talokan, descending on the throne. He announced they will be going to Wakanda; only to retrieve Attuma, and bring him back to stand trial for treason. And if the Wakandans stand in the way; they will have his wrath rain down on them. They will suffer worst than the previous attack.

“Liik’iK Talokan,” he repeated three times with his people repeating back. Then he grabbed his spear, and swam out, heading for Wakanda; he warriors flanking him, and others following him. Once they had passed. A cloaked Wakandan warship, that sat above Talokan; may its appearance, then another, and thereafter a third.

“This is Captain Wabungobo, Sir, he spoke into the ship’s radio. “It’s as you predicted; our sonars picked up a massive number of figures heading towards Wakanda.”

“Wait for my orders,” M'Baku told him.

“Yes, My King,” he replied. M’Baku went to the window, their Queen had been water bombed, and killed. It will not go unanswered this time, if they choose to attack. Namor has no idea, what is in stored for his people, and him. Never again; will Wakanda suffer as before, and not answer in like manner.

Links:

Okoye x Attuma: For the Love of You pt 1

Okoye x Attuma: For the Love of You PT 2

Okoye x Attuma: For the Love of You pt 3

Okoye x Attuma: For the Love of You pt 4

Taglist

@Pixieyosi

@skysynclair1919

@misslackey

@dillie600

@pikapuff-31616

@christina831

[s0lar-ch3ri]

a tiny ramble on luz's character: the symbolism i saw when she just stood there (spoilers obviously, for both season 2 and 3)

so i've been watching fan vids of the ending for toh and in this one reaction vid i was watching the death scene in a sense and i just had to over analyze it

for context, after belos is removed from the heart, he tries to lie again to luz and it starts to rail, the boiling water melting his human disguise. shes still in this titan form, clearly being as strong as ever, probably getting close to the level of the collector imo, and yet she doesnt do anything as he talks to her. she just stands, blank faced and doesnt move a bit (image shown below, low quality since its from the yt vid)

she just glares him down, not a word. she expresses no emotion other then annoyance, or maybe hate, and thats even just from looking at small details that we get.

yet here phillp is, giving it one last try, one more chance to trick her again. he shows a fake expressing of concern, later on worry that boils to anger and rage. unlike luz, he shows a ton of expression. hes using emotion, a very human concept, as a way to make her believe that he wasn't in the wrong, that he can be trusted, that he can be forgiven in a sense. he talks a lot, repeating with "better" words parts of sentences to show how good it is that she saved him and that wild magic is bad. however, he wasn't always this expressive. infact, the amount of emotion he shows here plays into how luz has reacted before!

i found the screenshot of when hes talking to hunter (its eclipse lake btw, around 1:15) and he seems not so smug but rather relaxed and welcoming. looking from hunter's eyes, this is really his uncle, and his uncle has always looked out for him, hasnt he (no he hasnt lol; also so do note that in hollow mind hunter does hesitiate before going through the memory with the portal door, like he'd take the eyeball monster over going through that again??? (i will be analysing him next hes just so ever))?

now heres an image of when he was talking to the collector in the mind scape. his energy is less familial and cozy but like an adult entertaining a child, he seems so smug and more like someone who you talk trash on others to. the energy he has for the people he surrounds himself with changes with who said people are. however, the amount of emotion he shows isnt excessive like the scenes with luz. even in elsewhere and elsewhen, he's shown more emotion when talking to her then with other characters.

this is how he knows her, the excitment and high energy, want to save everyone luz is how he has seen her. not to mention, he notices how lilith is getting concerned and starts talking differently. i know i keep jumping around with belos, but ill get back to luz soon!

another detail of lesser emotion with belos: we've seen him mostly wearing a mask. now, obviously the mask would hide his face and any form of emotion, but the mask noticiably has no mouth. all it shows is eye holes, lines to represent eyelids id presume, and nose holes. the mask cant show any kind of emotion at all due to the lack of detail. as such, we've only been able to tell his emotions through the tone of his voice, the way he speaks, etc. he has no need for emotion here.

from what belos has seen, luz has shown much emotion and empathy, so he plays into what he thinks is her weakness, pulling her heart strings with a fable that he believes surely she'd fall for. belos is good at manipulation because his style of how he does it changes with whoever he talks to, but one unexpected detail has stopped him now: this human has managed to change in such short time.

however, luz is very expressive even after everything, even in battle, even at the last battle. she always puts her best into whatever she does because she cares (its similar to the papyrus: blink motherfucker post basically, she always puts 110% into whatever she does). shes the main character because shes a very caring person and would never do anything to harm the innocent, making her a very good mc for the show! she speaks out against belos and his evil that one time at the night market because she wants to do the right thing for these people, because she cares for them.

she could just put him out his misery now. she could just kill belos just out of her hatred. yet she doesnt. because shed be stooping down to his level, killing someone because you simply dont like them. in this scene, belos finds sp,ethomg (ok ik ruining mood with that but the mispelling is just too funny, i meant to say something) he never expected, luz just does not care about him. she doesnt care to listen to him, doesnt care for his fate, and will not care in the end. she knows he doesnt deserve the respect of a response.

she doesnt even look at him, she doesnt have the care to now. and why should she? hes hurt many people, and tried to put her on his level of awful, comparing them as if theyre remotely similar. another thing by the way, when trying to use sympathy fails, belos switches to blame, saying how horrible shed be if she didn't help him now.

in this scene, he says "we're human, we're better then this!" with the irony of him being the least human hes ever been. this is pretty noticable, but theres more irony than just this. this is also the least human that luz the HUMAN has ever been. shes constantly been given that title, one example being eda telling luz that her life is great because "shes friends with luz the human"! yet shes harnessing the titan in her, and we see her doing things like eda and king do. and a big human thing we have? emotions and empathy. we sympathize with each other because we care and are run by our emotions, and thats a pretty key part in what makes us human. however, belos uses this against those around him, with promises of things that they desire in a sense. belos has lost any sense of humanity just to fulfill this savior complex (ill be doing more analysing so ill explain this later but no its not like a hero complex) while luz has became more humane with her journey, taking in how what she's done has affected those shes with, understanding them. luz being human is what makes her better then having to stomp him out, needing the last hit. she already did enough and doesnt need to care anymore about defeating him, because even if the rain didnt kick in and he was able to keep his human disguise, he would still lose.

tdlr: luz simply ignoring belos can be very over analysed by my neurodivergent ass, and the reasoning why is simply because when shed care once now she does not.

[dullweapons]

PROS  &  CONS OF DATING MY MUSE.   /    RAY CADELL 

PROS :

hot demon ??? that will simp over you ??? sign me up ???

likes physical affection - will give cuddles , kisses , hugs !!! sometimes he just touch you -- hand on your shoulder , hold your hand , brush hair out of your face . and if your not one for touches he will ask permission -- and if the answer is no he will respect that !!!

stronk........can and will carrying you when you tired

takes notice of your hobbies and interests -- will get you things for said interests because he supports what you do . if you want to learn how to duel then he will show you . and if you want him to get into your hobbies with you then he’ll give them a try! want him to play music with you ? sure give him a guitar ! like collecting bugs ? well guess he’s grabbing a net ! 

will buy you so many presents its insane.......flowers when your first wake up.......your favorite snacks.......that book you were thinking of buying?? too late he’s already got it for you . need a component for a potion thats half way across hyrule ? he got you - 

probably said ‘ i love you ’ first and will say it a lot because he wants you to know it . as hard as it is for him to expresses himself , love isn't on that list . he will make damn sure that you have his heart . ( ps he really likes to be called ‘ baby ‘ so pls do so ) 

will adjust his work , sleep and eating schedule to see you more !! maybe even pick a date night and works his hardest to make it romantic af . 

will protect you from any dangers ! pretty much will be your guard dog and will fight anything that dare hurts you . 

is actually really playful ! enjoys to tease and make his partner smile when he can

good in bed . 

will probably commit war crimes for you

CONS :

bad with emotions........can’t process his own what makes you think he can do other peoples ? ray has low empathy so he can’t really understand your feelings ( ie; can’t place himself in your shoes ) but he thinks logically why you may feels sad.............which doesn’t always work.........you’re going to need to be very clear and direct with him . 

is easily embarrassed . it takes him a little while to work up to physical displays of affection in public . yes , he’ll say i love you first but he’s not gonna reach for your hand first until a good while into the relationship . 

oh lord he’s clingy..........like really fucking clingy . im so sorry if you’ve caught his eye cause now you can’t get rid of him . probably shows his affection so much that it becomes suffocating . ( mostly because he wants you life time with him to be full of love and happiness , since your muse will die and he will go on ) 

more than likely has built up this perfect version on you in his head that can do no wrong . he’s done this with sahar - she's no longer a human anymore but an idol

but this man is walking war trauma and does suffer from C-PTSD related panic attacks / flashbacks . this causes a lot of the cons you see on this list . he won't take any sort of ‘ you're a good person ‘ talk . barely will talk to you what happen to him . he has nightmares where he wakes up screaming - he’ll think it's completely different eras from time to time and not recognize you . it's a lot to handle and he doesn't want to burden you with it . 

you are going to have to ask ana what he’s feeling because he is the king of resting bitch face and lord of the blunt affect . she’s really the only one who knows how he expresses himself ( albeit very little )

you’re not allowed to die . you are not allowed to put yourself in harms way ( unless you have proven yourself capable ofc but even then he’s hovering over you ) . you die from natural causes or by his hand . ( he sees that last choice as the most romantic thing he can do in some twisted way ) 

will probably commit war crimes for you even if you say no

[lackablazeical]

Hello!

A. Why does Cuddle's teeth get bigger every time I see her

B. Her eyes also are getting bigger I think

C. Will we ever get a cuddles and raph fusion and the other duo? I think it would be fun for cuddles and raph's fusion to be a complete plush toy body with plush spikes yet the scars are like hard and burnt fabric that has similar texture to Raph's skin, like how some plushes have pure hard thread for details like noses and small scars!

D. I understand your stance on proship is a full no, and I respect that 100%, proshippers can die in a pit. But I'm curious, why do you depict minors in such abusive relationships? I mean, I understand that this is your au and creative liberties know no bounds however concept wise I am fascinated! These are late teens, 15 - 17 last I saw on the ref sheets, yet they are put into extremely gorey and torturous situations and abusive to others, including family. My question is what inspired you to make such a dark ass au? The concept and designs are beautiful, but what inspired you to make it go so dark for minor aged characters? Logically speaking I don't think I could ever see these characters behave this way before seeing your au, and I don't mean to sound rude at all! I do adore your au and characters and writing style, I'm just so curious how you decided to put these young characters in such terrible life positions. It's similar to the torture extent of Like Father Like Son, putting child/teenaged characters into situations that you would see in someone's deepest fears or in a rated R film. Why did you choose to do that? And again, I'm genuinely asking, because even as a horror fanatic, I can't see anyone putting characters to such harmful extremes. /genq

Hi!

A/B: I am inconsistent and don't put effort into drawing her cus I Do Not Like Drawing Her 💃💃💃💃 (I have a design for her the works that I like a lot more that hopefully WILL be more consistent lol, I am so sorry to any miss cuddles enjoyers)

C. Yes!!!! There are gonna be Donnida and Rizu (Raph+Chizu) fusions, then after that I was hopefully planning to do some other combos!!! But omg YES that would be so cute IWHIWJF Raph with little button eyes, ill take 10 please

D. Yes, absolutely completely against proship, I fucking hate proshippers, they all need to choke on forks, yes.

As for your actual question, a few different reasons.

One, I just. Didn't really care to change their ages very much from actual canon. I'm a minor as well (16) so I tend to have characters that are around my age LOL. It's just never crossed my mind that. The minor characters being involved in dark things would like. Add to the horror, I guess? Maybe cus I'm one of said minors IAHWIEBF I have no idea.

Two, I just. Like dark topics LOL. Always have. My interests involve bondage, taxidermy, body horror, etc etc. I just put a lot of that into my work, I love drawing gore and making art w/ dark themes (even bigger bonus if it means I also get to contrast it w/ bright visuals) addams family as a concept is honestly quite dark when you look closer at some of the jokes and situations, I'm just not very good at comedy so that kinda got lost which is a 'my bad' moment

Three, i didn't want to make light of specific topics so I keep and present them dark (for example, Leo stalking Usagi. I'm not gonna make light of stalking and abuse to keep a more lighthearted tone. I'm just not. So. Yeah). I think it's in bad taste to present certain things like that more comically, and I'll take the L of diverting from the source material a lot for it.

I wouldn't compare it to LFLS really! Lfls is a wonderful fanfic made by a wonderful person, but I think. What we try to achieve and the points/ideas we present are very very different, ya know? Hers is angst with a point, I'm just here to get groovy/j

I like the dark topics and I like presenting them as such, ISHDIFBFJ. Maybe it's just my low-empathy talking, but I like what I've done and I'm gonna keep improving it! I just. Idk, I enjoy it. About as simple as that!

I did at least try to go for some difference then other 'dark turtle' AUs I've seen! No hate to any of them, they get all the hearts and flowers from me, I just wanted something different and hopefully. Achieved that! Yay! :D

[rigaudon]

highly controversial (esp for tumblr) take under the cut, brought to you by me, less than 24 hours after running out of my antidepressants

i hate the continued trend of "quirkifying" (thing i made up just now) mental illness, but I especially hate how recently tumblr has latched onto, specifically, adhd and autism and turned them into personality types that people slap on a name tag to show off how unique they are. I hate that being neurodivergent has become the go-to excuse for terminally online people to justify their shitty behavior. I hate the sentiment that being unmedicated is something to be proud of. I hate that wanting to be fucking normal is a cardinal sin, because ew why would you want to be like those boring neurotypicals.

I hate it. I want to be normal. I started taking medication for ADHD when I was four years old and I have never, not once in my life, thought it was a Fun Thing To have. I hate that I've spent the last 15 years slowly coming to terms with the fact that I'm probably--no almost definitely--autistic, but am still vehemently opposed to it and unable to reconcile that fact despite all the evidence. I don't want to be autistic. I don't want to have adhd. I don't want to make these things a part of my identity that I share with people in the same breath as I talk about my favorite video games or dnd class.

It's not fun. It's not a cute, exclusive club you get to be part of.

It's miserable and alienating and people don't take it seriously. Because you're just lazy and not trying hard enough. Why haven't you done this task you promised you'd do six months ago. Why did you fail out of college? Why did you squander that once-in-a-lifetime opportunity? Why don't you finish anything you start? Having a low attention span isn't an excuse to not communicate like a normal person. I've had to tell you this five times why can't you just remember? Why can't you save any money? Why are you so fucking weird? Don't you ever think about anyone other than yourself?

Why can't you Just Be Normal?

I would give anything to just be a shitty, irresponsible person who makes bad decisions out of carelessness or lack of empathy. I would give anything to be a "boring neurotypical". Because I could work on that. I could become a better person. i could learn from my mistakes and have that actually mean something practically rather than just cognitively.

It's an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness. Accepting that my brain just does not work correctly and no amount of positive thinking, or bullet journaling, or time management skills, or even medication will fix it. It will always be a struggle. It will always be a ten ton weight shackled to my ankles that I have to drag behind me through any task that doesn't result in instant gratification. There will never be a permanent solution. I will never wake up one day and suddenly be able to do these basic fucking tasks that everyone else does without issue. I will always have to remind myself to brush my teeth, or to eat breakfast, or to take a shower, or to make sure my cats get fed. It will always be an ordeal to get the mail or to go grocery shopping or to keep myself from sabotaging every good thing in my life for the umpteenth time.

It's exhausting. I'm so tired. I'm so sick of fighting against myself every waking moment of every single day. I'm so sick of being told that I don't deserve any kind of accommodations or allowances or compromises and there is no excuse because "everyone else has to do these things and you don't get special treatment".

I don't want special treatment. I don't want everything different or "wrong" with me to be painted on my skin in bright red ink for everyone to see. I don't want to be reduced to a bunch of boxes so people can just glance at the labels and decide that's all they need to know about me. I don't want to stand out. I don't want to be different. I want to fucking blend in and be unremarkable and boring.

I just want to be fucking normal.

[undeadsides]

THE SIDES INTRODUCTION!

Divider credit: BenKeiBear and Anlain-Aishang

Note: my sides used to have older names, based off of how I used to hoard names. I used to hoard only names that started with "M"s, so I thought it'd be fun to give all my sides "M" names. I changed them so they could be different and because I do not hoard only "M" names anymore, but you might still see their old names floating around. My sides also use different pronouns, because I use many, many pronouns.

The name "Undead Sides" is a play on "Sanders Sides". However, I don't want to reveal my last name, so instead I used my common username on most socials: IncrediblyUndead.

Undercut are my sides, some information on their relationships, and other silly facts.

(Through out this, I will be referring to myself in 3rd person & using random neopronouns)

EGOTISM — Memphis, he/she

[Plain text: egotism in all caps in pink]

Logo: a hand-held mirror. It's a charm on Memphis' phone.

Memphis represents Revenge's egotism, confidence, (maybe unhealthy amounts of) self-love, and selfishness. She only cares about himself (& Revy) and is willing to do anything to get what Revenge deserves— whether that be through normal conversation or manipulation (... it's usually manipulation). He has a very black and white way of thinking, viewing Revenge and herself as better than those around them, along with thinking they can do no bad or make mistakes.

(Imagine a fusion of Roman and Janus, but if they were much more extreme in their self-confidence and selfishness, & you've got yourself a Memphis)

IMPULSE — Maddox (Madds), it/its

[Plain text: impulse in all caps in red]

Logo: an explosion (similar to the 💥 emoji), placed on both sides of its combat boots.

Maddox represents Revy's impulsivity, controlling a lot of xyr anger issues and violent thoughts. It makes quick judgements, before hearing the full story, and will hold grudges til the ends of the earth. It also represents a lot of Revenge’s self-perseverance, thinking that its actions are helping protect ore. Despite its aggressive and unsympathetic nature, Madds cares heavily for those it finds pleasant (or "not as annoying as everyone else", as it puts it) and will jump in harms way to protect them.

PARANOIA — Payne, xe/xyr/xyrs

[Plain text: paranoia in all caps in orange]

(Used to be: Mercury/Mercs) (also pretend thats yellow and not orange)

Logo: a weird wiggly swirl on xyrs choker.

Payne represents Revenge's paranoia, fear, and overall distrust of others. Xe controls a lot of Revy’s schizophrenic symptoms and intrusive thoughts, but does NOT represent pups schizophrenia. In a case of “ducking out” (something that is impossible in FMP), Payne’s removal would not get rid of Revy’s schizophrenia, but rather cool down a lot of Revy's fear. Payne has a lot of the same goals as Maddox, wanting to protect Revenge, but rather than wanting to beat the shit out of everything, xe would rather run away to get to safety. Payne also has very black and white thinking. Xe holds people xe finds dear as close as possible, while pushing anyone else as far as possible.

COMPASSION — Finnick, he/him

[Plain text: compassion in all caps in green]

(Used to be: Melvin)

Logo: clasped hands as a patch, over his heart, on his battle jacket.

Finnick represents Revy's compassion and care for everyone and the planet earth, along with xyrs low/no empathy. He tends to be objective, wanting to hear everyone’s side of the story and be fair, even when the situation doesn’t call for it. Despite looking unemotionless and sounding monotone, he is often referred to the “nicest” side out of the bunch. He can be overbearing at times with his care and tends to focus in the solution part of a problem, rather than the emotional part.

CREATIVITY — Wentz, or Xx_w3ntzz_xX, he + any neopronouns

[Plain text: creativity in all caps in light blue]

(Used to be: Medusa)

Logo: N/A, as a perler bead necklace.

Wentz represents Revy’s creativity, (potentional) logic, and love for horror, morbid topics, and sexual topics. Nya controls a lot of Revy’s infodumping and hyperfixations and love for research. He doesn’t recognise how his actions or interests can affect others, being loud and annoying and overtalking about not-so-acceptable topics, like what decomposing does to the human body or fetishes; though, nya doesn’t mean any harm. Woof tends to be sensitive to rejection, or what woof assumes to be rejection.

FATIGUE — Nyx, ey/em/eir

[Plain text: fatigue in all caps in purple]

(Used to be: Maven, they/them)

Logo: multiple Zs (similar to the 💤 emoji) as a pin on eirs beanie.

Nyx represents Revenge's fatigue and apathy, controlling a lot of xyr executive dysfunction and general tiredness, however, Nyx does NOT represent Revy's CFS/ME (in the same way Payne does not represent schizophrenia). Nyx tends to be disinterested in everything around em, more focused on emself. Opposite of Memphis though, who’s focused on herself due to viewing himself as inherently Better, Nyx is focused on emself because ey have no energy to care for other people.

My sides are all based on the colour of the rainbow, just like the Sanders Sides are. I do not have an indigo side (which is plot relevant in Flush My Psyche) and I/my self-inserts am the "orange" one.

Some tidbits:

All the sides, minus for Nyx, use canes that are decorated to fit themselves. Memphis' is focused on design and how it looks, rather than usability; Maddox's is falling apart, due to how often it hits things with it; Wentz's cane is decorated in stickers and charms; Finnick's cane has spikes near the bottom and a few political stickers; and Payne's cane has the occassional band sticker.

Nyx uses a wheelchair and occassionally crutches.

The concept of "dark sides" and "light sides" do not exist, as I never viewed any part of me as inherently evil or bad and wasn't raised catholic. (In fact, I'm actually an atheistic satanist so... there would be no way.)

Maddox and Payne could be viewed as on other sides of the same spectrum, both wanting to protect Revenge, but having different ideas on how to do that. They could also represent Fight or Flight: Maddox being fight, Payne being flight.

Maddox and Payne also have similar goals in mind: protect Revenge, any means necessary. Madds and Payne get along better than any of the sides.

Madds and Finnick tend to butt heads a lot— Madds wants to spring into action (usually, a violent action), while Finnick would rather wait until all facts and feelings are known and then make a judgement about action. They argue a lot about what's the best option in any scenario.

(Despite arguing, they will still drop everything for each other, even if they won't admit that outloud. Or know it, themselves.)

Despite Memphis', Nyx's, and Madd's standoffish behavior, the other sides still treat them with respect and care— often to their dislike (or indifference, in Nyx's case).

Nyx falls asleep anywhere and everywhere. It is no surprise to see the sides standing around em, like a shield, as ey sleep in public.

Wentz likes to type, and speak, in "scene speak". How co speaks in it is unknown. But co does it!

Wentz loves to gift people things! ... usually they're realistic and detailed paintings of Their Death. (In FMP, Wentz paints one of these gifts for c!Thomas... He doesn't appreciate it much.)

Wentz is an early 2000s scenester, Payne is a stereotypical myspace emo, and Finnick is a cripplepunk.

(They are these things because I am a cripplepunk scenemo)

Nyx dresses is comfy clothes and usually with lots and lots of layers, as ey has a hard time regulating eir body tempature. Plus, since ey is sleeping everywhere, it's important ey feels comfortable enough to sleep.

Memphis wears ""skimpy"" clothing, often with crop-tops and even smaller miniskirts. Her signature outfit is a tight, bright pink miniskirt, bright pink bra, a neon pink fluffy oversized coat, and fluffy pink knee-high platforms. He loves to go all out and be the center of attention.

Madds wears, like, the "mean, emo big brother" in any disney movie outfits. It especially enjoys wearing shorts that reaches its knees and a hoodie, because there is something desperately wrong with it. (Joke)

Memphis is the tallest side, Wentz is the shortest.

Wentz was the most recent side created! The other sides were made back in middle school or my freshman year of high school, while Wentz was made late 2019 - early 2020.

The sides used to have different traits, before I decided on their current ones:

Anxiety -> Delusion -> Paranoia

Morality -> Compassion

Logic -> Fatigue

Confidence -> Egotism

Violent Thoughts -> Impulse

Payne, Finnick, & Nyx used to be my only sides as I was trying to match the sides' traits in Sanders Sides, but later realised they're my sides and can be whatever I want.

None of my sides represent any of my disabilities or neurodivergencies, because I am uncomfortable with the concept of them "ducking out" & therefore removing my symptoms and traits. (Which is why Payne and Nyx do not represent schizophrenia or CFS/ME, respectively, but rather "control" them— in the same way Remus does not represent Intrusive Thoughts, but Creativity, and simply controls c!Thomas' intrusive thoughts)

(Using Remus is a bad example, as his character jumps around a lot.)

[outeremissary]

🌻🍁 Balthazar!

From this prompt list. Thanks for the ask!

🌻 What little things do they notice about people or the world around them that make them happy? What tiny little treasures do they find in the normal every day that makes the world seem a little brighter for them?

Balthazar has a powerful capacity for empathy despite being a not especially kind person, and he tends to notice people's moods and how they express themselves: the creases at the edge of the eye that give away a suppressed smile, the escalation of gesture as someone immerses themself in talking about a passion, the way the tips of the ears go red last when someone blushes. When he's only an observer, it's hard not to feel those emotions seeping in himself. He also gets a lot of joy from watching people exercise their skills, even if those skills seem mundane and not worth commenting on to the user. The deft movements of a confident cook. The clean precision of perfectly split log. The delicate movement of a brush across a canvas. The careful flick page flick of an experienced researcher. He's not the sort who would sit all day watching someone do something, but he does like to spectate for a time.

His feelings about people can be complicated, but there's something undeniably compelling about them- although he's still the sort who spends more time enjoying the follies and failings of others than the beauty of the mundane.

🍁 Where does your OC go when they need to have some time to themself? Would they ever have their own “comfort corner” filled with all the things they like? Do they have a favourite spot outside that feels like its theirs and theirs alone?

This is addressed a little bit in an ask I'll have to link later since it hasn't posted yet (I'm up wretchedly late tonight but none of you need to know how bad it is). There are a few places that he might go for solitary time. There's his room, of course, which is comforting, or for quiet focused time his study. He also has a favorite spot in the garden- one which is low traffic, tucked away on a footpath, and runs close to the ridge which overlooks the shore of Lake Tuskwater. There's a good wall to perch on there, little interruption, and one can see for many long miles across the Stolen Lands. It's a good contemplative spot. Similarly, there's a small balcony that opens for whatever strange reason out from a back hallway of the estate. Similarly secluded and good for watching, but easier to step back into shade or warmth. The garden corner probably feels the most like a space outside that's "his," as it's less likely to see interruption.

Balthazar's "comfort corner" would probably be his room or his study, both of which are organized according to his liking (incomprehensible to most people) and full of things that have caught his fancy: boxes of interesting jewelry, little knick knacks on shelves, tomes both old and new stuffed onto shelves. His bed is especially cozy. It has a lush canopy and soft sheets, and it's piled high with pillows. In the winter there are always several thick blankets and a fur throw on it. It's the kind of bed that when you climb into you never want to get out of...

[fullplaidponydreamer]

Meet Martez, the Twst Version Of Maria Robotnik

Name: Martez Rotron

Nicknames: Marty, Tez, Robot Boy

Age: 19

Birthday: July 1st

Starsign: Cancer

Species: Human

Sexuality: Bisexual

Height: 5'6

Hair: Curly Blonde

Eye Color: Light Blue

Family: None that he would talk about

Homeland: Space Colony

Twisted From: Maria Robotnik from Sonic X Series

School: Hourglass Academy

Class: 3rd Year

Dorm: Tetravania

Occupation: Student

Club: None (Poor boy is shy)

Best Class: Any Health, Bio or Science related classes

Dominant Hand: Right handed

Favorite Food: Sweets

Least Favorite Food: Anything spicy (Low spice tolerance)

Likes: Hiding in the library to read, Quiet Spaces, Music (Loves instrumentals especially), Nature, Animals, Space, Astrology

Dislikes: Hospitals, Needles, Medicine he has to take, Overly loud noises, Violence

Hobby: Star Gazing, Nature Gazing

Talent: Medical Knowledge/Empathy

Unique Magic: Warm Heart

Martez's Unique Magic Warm Heart is a power based upon Empathy. He is able to feel the emotions of those around him while also being able to allow them to gradually feel his in small bits. The downside of this ability is that when he uses it, his body temperature drops ridiculously low and he gets sick and needs to rest for a certain period of time which already adds to his frail condition currently. Usually he is good at being able to connect with people emotionally but it is mostly used to help when someone is hurting and they need help or when he is helping someone who is erratic and he cannot get to them with words so he has to use it as a last resort.

Personality: Martez is very much a pacifist sweetheart, a soft spoken person and a sweet caring individual. He likes to try and stay happy and bring others happiness when he can and he is always optimistic about any circumstance that he is put under. He is very understanding with people even those with the hardest shell and he has a severe amount of patience when handling a person and he always does his best to keep the peace. He is supportive of everyone and their dreams and he accepts everyone as who they are. If you commit bad deeds infront of him or are about to react to something violently he will always try and diffuse the situation with talking because he can't stand fighting at all.

Backstory:

Martez was the Grandson of great scientists within the space colony who worked on special projects of creatures and humans being mixed together in order to study life and their DNA. Martez was sadly one of the reasons the experiments took place because they were trying to find a cure for him for a disease that he had that made him physically weak and ill and they though they could do it using the test trials and creating new medicines. He hated the experiments however and wished it to end but he had no physical power to make it stop. So he tried make it easier by trying to befriend the test subjects and one of them happened to have been saphira. He and Saphira had grown quite close and Spahira shared with him that she heard things from the guards about the outside world and Martez would try and provide little stories in order to provide some sort of comfort even though he had not seen as much either. When it seemed thr experiments would get worse and Saphira and the others were in danger, Martez decided he had to do something so he helped Saphira and the rest escape. Sadly he realized that he was dragging her behind and he was dead weight for the griup so he sent Saphira off with the rest before they could get caught and provided them time to escape. When the two were separated, Martez had Saphira make a promise to him. And the promise was that saphira would enjoy the world for him. And that she would make her own life and explore everything that her and Martez never got to properly see. And that was the last that he had seen of her.... Until now. Martez had finally been able to escape his family and the space colony. And now is coming to Hourglass Academy to find his friend and finally live a new life.

[maschotch]

same anon as the morgan ask lol - no you’re so right about the weird vibes of hc’ing reid as transmasc. like if it was just sometimes… but it’s all the time, it’s disproportionately him, much more rare for hotch or morgan or luke or anyone to be transmasc. and like… people are always calling reid their /babey boy/ and it’s kinda the same with a lot of popular transmasc hcs, it’s young, skinny, white, shy or "socially awkward", "feminine" in some way, characters. it rubs me the wrong way. depends on the reasoning. but for reid it’s always,, "oh cause he looks young for his age, he has long hair, he’s so /cute/, he’s my baby boy, he’s shy and girls are shy" etc. like. classic infantilising of trans guys, classic transphobia against transmascs. nothing against some reidgirls but can they stop being weird about it? can they explain why they’d not hc hotch or morgan as transmasc, unless they’re doing t4t reid and someone? why i’ve only ever seen one hc of any of the women as transfem? & don’t feel bad about preferring to talk about hotch - i’m a morgan fan but i’m a (low empathy) prentiss fan first, i don’t mean that everyone has to obsess over morgan, i just wish people would appreciate his strengths & flaws & experiences & overall character a bit more in general.

admittedly i’m also the person who sent that last low empathy prentiss ask btw, big agree with all you say. of course i don’t mind that people have different opinions on her to me but just…. sometimes i’m like, did we watch the same show? a lot of the things they consider "empathy" moments from her are just being somewhat kind, and like, yeah i don’t think she’s evil so of course she has the capacity to be kind and exhibit some compassion. but every time she gives a grunt of disgust at a crime scene or whatever, it’s just to show that she disapproves of what the unsub did, not that she’s devastated or shocked in the way that many of the others on the team seem to be. and probably somewhere between having a shit relationship with her mother, the way she canonically has said she would change everything about herself to get approval from other teens when she was moving schools all the time in high school, and her undercover missions at Interpol… somewhere in all that, she clearly developed some acting skills, the ability to manipulate people, mirror and read people but *manually* rather than by having empathy. for her job, that’s necessary, idk how to say "manipulate" in a way that doesn’t sound that bad but i don’t mean it as inherently bad lol. and having less empathy would help her stay calm, logically analyse problems, not be fooled by people pretending to be upset, not have too much guilt get in the way of manipulating suspects (necessary to her job obviously), etc. however, it can diminish her ability to comfort friends from an emotional POV, might make her more impulsive/reckless because she doesn’t consider the effects it might have on herself and others, and it probably would contribute to how in those Lauren eps she just assumes her team members would be mad at her because she doesn’t *know* how they would emotionally feel about that. and maybe she does worry that she’s a bad person bc of her low empathy! who knows! i haven’t actually thought *that* much about it, i’m just kinda rambling about a few patterns i see, but i do think she has low empathy. and that you’re very right about the writers just… being inconsistant and weird with her character a Lot. i’m glad someone else sees what i see with her.

signed, the only morgangirl 😔 lmao

yeah :// like it’s tricky to be overly critical of trans hcs without being disrespectful or belittling people’s experiences (bc there are some people who i know identify with reid’s gender ambiguity (???)) but idk… it’s hard to ignore the pattern of the internet favoring their submissive breedable skinny white little twink as the main char seen as trans. like. what are we saying here lol

and yeah same thing w characters… you cant really fault anyone for preferring certain characters but when they take character traits/experiences/plotlines from morgan and give them to reid?? it just feels?? distasteful? like if youre gonna change everything about reid to make him/his backstory more like morgan, just… write about morgan? idk how to describe it. it’s like… if there’s a set of angsty tropes that are pretty standard—used by both official network writers and fandoms—that the showrunners divvy up between characters, and the fandom enjoys certain tropes that apply to certain characters, and the fandom’s favorite character is different, then they’ll give those same tropes to their favorite character without acknowledging the other character at all. idk if that makes any sense, but it’s just glaringly obvious when it’s the exact same type of skinny white guy that becomes the fandom’s favorite every time

but yes i am a very big fan of low empathy emily <3 i think it’s one of those “repressed lesbian jj” concepts that explains away a lot of the shitty character inconsistencies?? emily’s inconsistent bc she’s acting, bc she’s playing a part, bc her mask is changing as she tailors it to the group dynamic and her place within it. which is just FASCINATING to me lmao i love it so much. it’s something i’ve spent a lot of time thinking about, but despite that i feeel like i dont have a lot to say on it? it’s less like a “here’s a list of headcanons for this character” and more of a “here’s a lens to watch the show through.” it doesnt necessarily addd anything, it’s just a different perspective that imo makes things make more sense lol. i think she’s made peace with who she is and doesn’t spend too much time fretting over whether she’s a bad person. like i don’t think she’s answered that question necessarily, i just think she knows it’s kinda pointless trying to figure it out. n e ways yes i like that you also see it :)))

[mvsicinthedvrk]

Was that [YANG YANG]? Oh no no, that was just [ZHAO YUNLAN], a [CANON CHARACTER] from [GUARDIAN/ZHEN HUN]. They are [THIRTY] years old, use [HE/HIM], and [ARE NOT] aware that they are not actually from Washington DC. Too bad they can’t stray from this city for long.

this is zhao yunlan, taken mostly from the novel rather than the drama (since certain plot elements are vastly different i figured i would clarify). info under the cut! he's a supernatural investigator (of sorts) and kind of an asshole. details about his personality and potential plots under the cut!

how long has your character been here?

he believes he's been here for about 4 years!

what is your character’s job?

he will be working for the magnus institute, specific department tbd though probably artifacts/artifact storage. i might actually fuck around and make him think he's worked there for the last few years despite the building not being in the city that long lmao.

where has your character been pulled from in their fandom?

he is from the merit brush arc of the novel! no spoilers though so i won't mention anything else just in case.

has any magic affected your character?

his memories have been affected, but everything else is the same.

and any other information you might find useful for us and the other members to know!

first of all, he's a human mortal, but zhao yunlan has the ability to see ghosts, gui, yao, etc that other people can't necessarily see. his deal is that he'll treat them fairly and with respect but once they interfere with mortal business, he feels like it's fair game to impose consequences. but since he has this ability/experience, he bounces around in d.c. doing paranormal-related work.

he's unconventional and a little chaotic when dealing with any given issue, and tends not to tell anyone else what he's doing until he's already done it.

he has a knack for following trails of clues and also fully bluffing his way into figuring out the truth of a situation, even if he only had limited knowledge to begin with. i'd say most of his success is based on luck but he's also very perceptive so there's skill there, too.

he does not lack confidence, and he thinks he's very charming and funny. however, one of my favorite things is that he looks and acts way friendlier than he actually is, lmao. he might act buddy-buddy with someone in a public setting, but internally actually not give a shit about them. that doesn't mean he doesn't have friends, but, he appears to have a much wider social circle than he actually does. similarly, empathy is not the first reaction that he tends to lean towards, and instead may react more coldly than you would expect, especially if you've only seen the more amiable side of him.

in his free time he can be found playing video games at home (probably falling asleep in front of his laptop, actually) or out drinking with friends or coworkers. he chain smokes constantly and eats almost solely overly-processed foods. aka the height of his culinary ability is that he knows probably a hundred different ways to cook slight variations of prepackaged cup noodles. his house is a mess (his 'clean' clothes piles shift from bed to floor to chair depending on where he needs to sit, and cannot be visibly differentiated from his dirty clothes piles either).

he has a terrible temper and very low tolerance for bullshit, and will call people out on it constantly. however, he is a hypocrite :) and does not appreciate being called out on anything himself, so when his own bullshitting doesn't work he will immediately turn to very obvious flattery or flirting in order to change the subject.

looking for (re: plots): if anyone else has ethnically chinese muses looking for fake family? neighbors at his apartment building (he likely set off a fire alarm once or twice, and has probably left talismans on the wrong door every once in a while)? if any other muses work for the magnus institute in any capacity, we can figure out coworker plots too? either men or women he could have had (short-lived) casual relationships with, which probably ended poorly or awkwardly? friends who are either regular mortals (lazy stay-at-home-and chill friends, as well as friends who go out and make trouble) or friends who are actually upfront about being some variation of supernatural creature, because he'd take that in stride? or any other ideas you might have.