#for the last 22 years at least
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I think that what the disco elysium people said about Harry and Kim was the best way to put it. "Somewhere in the multiverse, Kim and Harry kiss." Because they're both so full of *potential*, both for wonderful and terrible things, and you *know* that in some worlds they full on hate each other. Harry can be a full on fascist; he's definitely been aggressive/racist/homophobic before the amnesia, there's no way Kim's entertaining his bullshit in that kind of playthrough if he makes no effort to change. And on the other side, Kim can be an absolute terror despite his calm facade- repressed, unflexible, patient with Harry only because he's a fellow cop, a committed *ex-moralist*. There are so many potential outcomes, so many different ways for them to fuck up, so many new and unique ways for them to be terrible together.
But then there's the multiverse where everything works out and nobody says the awful things they're thinking and maybe instead of pushing beyond Kim's boundaries by trying to can-open him, Harry helps him work through the repression and fear of change, and on the other side maybe Kim doesn't get frustrated by Harry's sheer chaos and just tries to be some stability in his life instead. They have *fun* together. They're playing board games. They wear matching jackets and sit on swings together whistling. And in that universe, maybe they get to be happy.
#for the last 22 years at least#oof#idk this is just my thoughts bc i keep seeing so many people like how could kim ever hate harry or thinking he has infinite patience#but thats not true lol in some playthroughs he fucking hates him#the racisl slur?? the fascism?? the homo-phobia??#and then on the other hand a Harry whose seriously all about communism might not be too keen on mr moralist stickinthemud#disco elysium#kim kitsuragi#harry du bois#ywah idk why i try to come up with coherent meta when im sick#also in some universes they fuck real nasty 👍 i dont know#DE rambling
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As the cabin came into view again, Goldie couldn’t stop thinking about how this had to be the coldest night they’d had in weeks and her feathers were turning into little icicles. With the small amount of sunlight left, she could see her breath on every exhale. It was so cold she was getting exhausted much faster than she should’ve and Goldie knew she’d be sick in the morning...if she made it there at all.
May I present...the Ice Queen of Dawson. ❄️
This has been a long time coming, but I finally finished this set of three drawings last week that I've been wanting to draw for the longest time for @lettheladylead's running in circles (the above drawing specifically comes from chapter 4 - it's the exact moment that Goldie sees the cabin again on the way back from trying to get back to Dawson). (Will also say that these are a very happy belated birthday gift to you! :D)
There were a few moments from the Klondike chapters that weren't necessarily major story moments, but the descriptions of them (and especially of the environments/lighting) caught my eye and my heart, and made me want to highlight the beauty of the Klondike, and so here we are.
For this scene in particular, her walk back to the cabin, I got a very vivid image of it while reading it, a sort of tragic twist on a "winter wonderland" and on Goldie looking all icy-pretty, and the angst of the Ice Queen naturally came in to play.
Will post the other two drawings over the next two days - up next: a king in the morning light.
#DuckTales#Goldie O'Gilt#scroldie#my art#Goldie my love go get some warmth#for real this has been one of the most intense catch-22s of my life#bc I've been wanting to draw these since before we met in nyc carro#but it was a busy time and then last year was also very busy#but it also became a catch-22 of 'do I catch up on tumblr first or reading running in circles first or on drawing for it first' 😅🙃#and that just made me procrastinate all the more and I am very sorry for that#but yeah it finally sorted itself out and so now I can *finally* finish reading it! 😄🥳🤩😍#there's at least one more quick drawing I wanna do during my reread to that point but it should be quick#also shoutout to yourself carro and your in-fic descriptions and your own fic art ✨#they helped me a lot with these drawings ❤️😌#tagging scroldie bc Scrooge put her in this situation and I mean it's them#and shoutout to the Rosa comics for environment references#running in circles
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At least twice a week since July I've had people thanking me for my neuroendocrine cancer education and telling me how often they use the resources I built them :') idk imposter syndrome is ever present and in healthcare you can even have thoughts of "Man, am I spending too much time educating/researching on poorly understood cancers?"
I'm still struggling to decide on format, but I'm currently compiling my research and resources to make a self-guided cancer education resource for my team. I really enjoy my job rn but I think focused cancer education would be nice to springboard into later in life once I finish learning about the inner guts of the ACA. I'm finally healthy enough to consider higher education, but the catch is my employer insurance is the only reason I can get my medical care...and leaving for school to be able to focus more officially on cancer education means I'd lose that medical care security :(
#Creepy chatter#Idk I think I want another few years at least in my field since I can sample each medical specialty but oncology is my babygirl#The emails I get from the NCI..boy you would not believe the insane breakthroughs we've had in just this year#Literally modifying cancer cells to 'I hope we both die' to themselves + treatment resistant cells#Hi hello we are learning to hijack cancer evolution to make it kill itself with a series of kill switches#But first I want to understand this busted but improving system and how to protect affordable care for the most vulnerable populations#I learn the jargon. I break the jargon. I make an education series. Repeat lol...#Anyway biochem is my fun thought for a major and then focusing it into an oncology arm#Or maybe just cellular biology to learn more about immune checkpoints + mRNA revolutions#Last time I seriously thought abt going back school I was 22 and got diagnosed with Forever Expensive Sickness#🧍Me when I...me when I want to work w cancer closer but my health is too expensive to maintain w school 🧍🧍#So I focus in the ACA until I can do school ig ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ do good where you are rn and all that#Cw medical#Cw cancer#Sorry forgot my tags lol...during my work day it's easy to forget
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Went through the tag to chronolize the journey so far :)
#sleep swap au#barely drew anything for it last year????#skeh#3/22/23#or uh…#3/23/23#this was fun! drew half of it while waiting to start work#some small middle school boy said “you’re good at drawing! whilst walking away and up the stairs with his friends???#fucking??? sweet children??? I’ll be riding this high for a week at least..
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Anyone else mourning their time now—as if it’s already passed—but it hasn’t. I’m here?
#i don’t know#it feels like limbo kinda#when I was 22 it felt—well I still a#am???#i still am 22 but last year it felt so weird? I kept FEELING like I was already 23#and i would get so surprised when I remembered—hey you just turned 22#and now Im gunna be 23#and it feels like yes—that’s right#THATS the age I’m suppose to be—that’s the age I’ve been ALL ALONG even now just a few more days#but—idk why am I sad? I don’t care about that—maybe birthdays just make me sad?#22 felt like limbo—I got a new job—I want a different job—I want to see the beach#eww I’m still 22??? that feels fake#i DONT like that age one bit—never felt right#i felt 21–21 at least felt real—I want 23 to feel real too#and all this is just me being weird in the head#i should have asked for the week off
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at this rate, the first long-form work of fiction I'll have finished since 2018 will be a Lockwood and Co fanfic. I'm actually quite tempted to print myself a copy to celebrate this feat after I'm done writing this fic (and done editing, and all that).......
#(i'm not counting the short story collection i did last year)#anyway it is CRAZY that i've written at least 30k words in a week and a few days. at least i know now that i CAN do it lol#REALLY tempted to print a copy for myself when it's done actually!!! i'm quite proud of things i figured out#like the original characters i've added the character arcs and the themes i'm trying to weave into the story#also i do really really want the satisfaction of holding my own writing in bound form#writing adventures#songbird's year of feeling 22#i'll have to figure out logistics like cover design fonts etc etc later but the idea of it is very attractive indeed
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is anyone else just soooo fucking tired of applying for jobs or am i the only unemployable piece of shit on the block lmao
#WHY do ALL the job listings look fake now#like last year when i was searching i could apply to a dozen a day and be certain that at least a quarter of them would get back to me#now it really just feels like im throwing my resume into the void and waiting for someone to throw it back#im just so fucking tired and i know im only 22 and i have lots of time but my god i job search every day and every day i end up in tears#because it just makes me feel so worthless. god. damnit.
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UGH my queue has been running on empty for like the last month but im not invested enough to stock up again. the immediate likes and interaction is so much more fun
#idk how i was like 95% queue for so long in like 2018-22#like barely would personal post thats CRAZY#maybe its bctwitter has been so awful to use for the last year#anticipating having to say all my silly things here#to be fair i feel okay posting anything here twotter definitely makes me feel like i have to be funny or be saying something controversial#or at least conversation starter-y?#like ur losting for engagement 100% of the time there or at least i am bc i feel silly when no one likes my tweet#on here a 0 note post is neutral#on twitter the view count sits there mocking me like#SIX HUNDRED PPL SAW THIS AND NOT A SINGLE ONE CARED ENOUGH TO DROP A LIKE!#anyway.#personal
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:]
#ra speaks#personal#it’s silly but my labmate who I’m TAing for/is taking over a class while our advisor is on sabbatical#emailed to double check my pronouns before she put them on the syllabus#and idk it’s just so relieving to explicitly say yeah I use any pronouns you can put he/she/they if that formats easier in the space for it#and like I’ve had Any Pronouns in my email signature for the last year but tbh idk if I ever directly emailed this labmate so she legit#has probably never seen that#anyways :] so so glad she double checked before putting she/her or whatever for my pronouns without asking#like yes my gender is weird enough that she felt the need to ask perfect#at least I think the asking is a good thing. it probably is Santi is nonbinary too even if he/they is easier to explain#no one is a transphobe until proven otherwise always see the good in people or you’ll turn into your parents beans#you don’t want to be a jaded 22 yo that will just suck
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Hey everyone this guy in his early 20s is having consensual, kinda spicy sex with women in his age range. that’s straight up p***ph*lia and we should turn him into the collective’s punching bag of the week, for woke reasons of course
#like the posts were cringe bc 22 year old straight man are just kind of inherently cringe#and the jokes were funny like it was ok to make the jokes.#but at some point youve gotta let it go#what you should NOT do probably is harass some random guy & paint him as some kinda s*x pr***tor over literally nothing#and to be clear i dont think (at least i hope) that this situation will turn out so dire for the guy#but this shit happens all the time on the internet to people who do NOT have the social shield from repercussions that cisness#heterosexuality whiteness etc afford.#and like we should probably not make it a commonplace accepted thing to turn a random person on this anonymous website into the#meme du jour. idk just a thought#god this is the last time I express a genuine opinion on tumblr. the level of clarity & explaining i had to try to reaxh just so my words#dont get twisted#personal
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Just remembered it's my trans birthday and now I'm sitting on my balcony happy crying
#lav rambles#im two!!#15 year old me was surprised i made it out of high school#hell 19 year old me is surprised i made it to 22#and im so fucking proud of myself#i have my own place#friends i adore#im going into my junior year of college#i got all FUCKING A'S last semester!!!!!!!!#im genuinly happy most of the time?#at least not super fucking depressed#and when i do spiral i have the tools to handle it#im studying something i love#can see a pretty clear future for myself#thats still flexible enough to be realistic#im activley working on my personal relationship with sex and romantic love#and still happy being single#for the most part#im doing really well and im really fucking proud of that#OH MY GOD and i have a great relationship with my mom???#we had a night out last month and got dinner and a show#and it was fantastic!!#i was so excited for it!#i dont really#care#about my dad#and i think thats okay#i miss his side of the family#but not him#okay im making this my journal BUT im proud of myself
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This is real I watched them tweet it myself
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(Marvin tweet originally posted by @seafemme on Twitter all credit to them I just saw it and went hm. Wow. That’s about whizzer for sure)
#falsettos#whizzer brown#Marvin#falsettoland#march of the falsettos#christian borle#andrew rannells#fake tweets#coming up with whizzers response was hard tbh#also it was tweeted on March 22 bc that’s the day they first met in the fic I’m writing so it’s an important day for them :)#I might remake this if I think of a better whizzer tweet tbh#anyways uhh I haven’t hyperfixated on anything this hard in like at least a year and a half if not longer#also in my heart his username is @marv_in_trousers but that was too many characters#I just like the double usage of in#also coming up with screen names for them was hard??? I feel like Marvin wouldn’t get the new fangled tech and would just write his name#also I didn’t wanna come up with a last name yet#sue me#anyways someone pls talk to me about falsettos I’m going ballistic having nobody to discuss it with#I parasocialized with whizzer too hard and now I can’t write him accurately#also this takes place in a weird mashup of their time lines but in the present don’t think too hard okay#memes#original content#twitter
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i have found out that theres not better feeling than finding, as corny as it sounds, a list of things to live for that i made when i've been at the peak of feeling suicidal and then going thru it months/years after that. makes u realise bad times always pass. always
#suicidal mention#it's happened to me at least three times in the last 10 years and i#just found one i made in july 22 and the fact that i have already done like half of those things in less than year... maybe i will stay#alive a bit longer 👍🏽
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Austria coming in with another masterful execution of law!
Now that the covid mask mandate isn't valid anymore we revert back to a law that got approved in 2019 I think... Its a law that prohibits you from masking your face! (literally just made bc of Islamophobia)... So now it's illegal in Austria to wear a mask in public! But also at the same time required to wear a mask if you tested positive! And when your in like a hospital and retirement homes! So now if you wanna wear a mask you need a doctor's note so that you are allowed to in public! :D
#Public includes stuff like trains and busses. University. Most Workplaces.#Not like it's still also a good idea to wear a mask even if you just have a cold or sth so you don't infect ppl etc#It's literally so dumb... Like last year it was still 'its illegal to not wear a mask' now it's illegal to do that?? What???#The law was a dumb law from the start they should have just removed it or at least work on removing it#I really hope the votes next year get our politics more normal again bc it was just absolute chaos the last few years#One dude tried to sell Austria to the Russians or sth like that and then that other dude took over and#Then ppl said that dude is also corrupt so there was an investigation and stuff so someone else took over#And then I think they didn't find something so a few other parties called to get him out of office and then he just quit I think or was#Bullied out and then we had a vote again but the other parties all had shit candidates for chancellor#And I think in the meantime we changed chancellor again as well??? Like I literally have no idea who was chancellor since Kurz (2nd dude)#And then in the middle of covid our health minister also quit I think? 😂😂#Oh and also a satire party (the beer party!) was really popular as well and that dude (Marco pogo) ran for president#Like he didn't get it but still he got like 3rd place with 8% of all votes#It's just all a fkn mess#OH RIGHT and then there was also a thing with an old Nazi song book that was used in the youth group of one party or sth like that#But I honestly can't remember if that was pre or post the Ibiza incident (selling to Russia thing)#Also I haven't fact checked anything in these notes. Be aware that it's 3am and I've been awake for 22 hours at this point.#And that my memory is bad so I might be conflating some stuff or miss remembering
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the Cashew beanie baby I've had for over 2 decades vs. the mint condition Cashew I found at a comic shop last august
Oh
#i dont remember exactly when i got my bear as a child#but judging by how long it was sold in retail ive had him for at least 22 years#hes not even the first one i got#i was so obsessed with the first one i got that my mom bought me 2 more just in case something happened to the original#smart move cause i eventually lost the original#i also gave the last one to my little cousin shortly after i got them cause she liked them#i loved them all equally and all at once when i had them all though#none of them were ever a back up in my mind just different
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eek!
#personal#you see intellectually i know its bad and only getting worse#and if i just started actually taking care of myself it would at least feel better even if it wouldnt actually be better#but this subconscious obsession with torturing myself is just too powerful#and all i want to do is scream out my window and grab people and shake them and make them hear me when i say that i am not okay#and finally actually be seen and heard#but any time i actually get close to that its terrifying and i pull away#coping? by sitting in my apartment alone running away from reality#its interesting how you fall into old patterns when it starts to get bad#because all ive ever been is alone#maybe for a while there i wasnt but that was a lie anyway#this is my natural state of being#so then i pose the question: if this is what ive always been then why is it so hard to be#shouldnt it be easy by this point? im 22 years old#or am i just approaching the breaking point? is this an existence meant to last?#maybe people like me just cant make it
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