#for the crp movie I STARTED

[just-a-creep-babe]

Bestie i am in need of assistance, i tried posting on my blog and its been ten hours and not a single like :<

(the post was how i need a proof reader and someone to help with brainstorming and a couple general outsider views) for a fanfic i'm writing i want it to be generally big, maybe larger than 50k-70k words (not sure yet) right now i mainly need someone to help with brainstorming. i was hoping you could help??? It's a "Jason The Toymaker" fic, and if you can't find the time to help it's perfectly fine, but if anyone else would like to help my dms are always open! there are a few (negotiable) requirements though.

i don't have much of a deadline but i'd like to get the first chapter out in like 4 months give or take so there's some time i guess in case you need to think about it or anything, i haven't really thought of a schedule yet but that's something that can be worked out.

(also have you seen the creepypasta movie yet?)

Ahh I’ve got my hands pretty full atm so I don’t think I’d be much help with how inconsistently I’d be able to communicate ^^;

BUT!! If anyone’s interested, please check em out!!!

[the-s1lly-corner]

Various crps x reader who is also a killer

(Yaps)

Characters: Jeff the Killer, Slenderman, Laughing Jack, Eyeless Jack

Notes: reader is GN, established relationships, headcanon heavy for eyeless jack and laughing jack, readers motives for murder are not given- left up to the readers

CWs: canon typical violence, death

Jeff

He enjoys being able to go out and kill with you, its almost like a bonding moment between the two of you! maybe even a date! as dark as it sounds you two might even make bets about your... activities... or try to one up each other on what you managed to get done in a night- who did the most, who was the scariest, and so on and so forth. in a way it reminds me of the dynamic between chucky and tiffany valentine, at least in one of the movies.. particularly where he watches tiff kill that one couple on the waterbed(?), bride of chucky. bear with me its been a moment since ive seen the movies so my memory is a bit fuzzed! hes a little smitten with you when he sees you do your first kill in front of him or if you do something particularly spectacular

Slenderman

whether or not youre an official proxy, he doesnt feel this way or that about your habits. it does come in handy when keeping unwanted visitors out of the forest, though! he always keeps a metaphorical eye on you to make sure you dont get in over your head in a fight. he doesnt usually step in until youre truly in danger, or you cant run away. not that he wouldnt finish the intruder off if you ran away, that person was going to die one way or another... he watches you so closely as you work, observing your movements and behaviors throughout the entire ordeal... its almost like how people watch bugs

Laughing Jack

he doesnt think murder is all that bad, i mean it was exposed to him and taught to him through Isaac- add in that i personally headcanon that he doesnt fully grasps but mortality is.. things can get a little messy fast when the two of you pair up together. i hope youre desensitized to gore because hes going to be showing you what hes done, and hes going to excited and looking for your praise. similar to slenderman he watches you work, though he never really... stands back and lets you do it alone- he jumps right in if things start going south for you

Eyeless Jack

you can offer to collect "food" for him but hes going to be firm and set a hard boundary that he wants to be the one to do it. he likes at least having some form of control over it as well as choose who hes going to eat- on top of not wanting you to involve yourself with his mess... even though you were already killing... he has mixed feelings, he kills in order to survive whereas your motives may be a little different- this may actually be one of the only scenarios where it wouldnt work if you do it for fun or even for no reason

[foressfaction]

The puppet theory CRP/slenderverse HEADCANON

WARNING: mentions of suicide, death, mutilation, sensitive back story topics and more.

What even is a Proxy, proxies to me are anti hero coded beings whose mind fell so weak they physically had to rely on a higher ranked being or entity. In this case, The Operator. And no this is not Slender man. The Operator is more lanky and disoriented. It has a neck that can extend and a mouth only shows when it is pissed off. It looks more like a dead tree. It communicates through static well like the slender man, but also uses telepathy to get into its victims minds. Sometimes the biggest indicator that it is around is a faint ringing noise and strong wind out of nowhere even if the weather is clear.

Its killing tactic is different from the slenderman, gathering its followers and proxies to do the job for it, taking in the weakest minds and turning them into emotionless killing machines with no mercy. It ruins their lives from the very beginning just to act as the hero in the end.

I focus on Toby a lot and like to think that it all fell into place with him ever since he was 4. He was unlucky enough to already have a form of schizophrenia and began to see this figure and draw a lot. It made him think it was a friend therefore he had to listen to it and fall for its tricks. Eventually it started to wreck his life by being the reason his sister died and why his dad was so morally fucked. It was putting an influence onto him and his family. At first it just wanted Toby to commit s*icide but bro was strong as fuck. Around his later teen years it got worse. After his sister's death it took control of his even weaker mind than before and put bad shit into his brain. It drove him to insanity and he ended the life of his father due to pue anger and brainwashing.

How does he qualify for the puppet theory? In the rewrite, a couple of snobby kids assaulted him and cut the operator symbol into his lower stomach due to the bullying of him drawing it everywhere himself. It had been carved inro him by a third party source, immediately making the influence of the operator extremely strong. The gateway was wide open now. It was like some unknown ritual. After that his hallucinations, nightmares and vision became more visceral and morbid.

Cutting to after the death of his dad, he was “taken in” as you would say, by that I mean he passed out cold in the middle of the fire he set to his neighborhood only to have a very vivid dream of the entity taking him somewhere. It took control of him then and practically saved him from being burned alive. He woke up in sweat in the middle od rhw woods somewhere with NO recollection of anything before the fire. That and a newly freshened carved symbol on his upper left arm. He now had two.

What exactly is the puppet theory and does it only affect proxies?

It only affects proxies, as youd have to have some form or relationship with the entity, good or bad. The theory goes as expected. The entity can take control of the proxy, like a puppet, it can make them do unspeakable things that aren't limited to just killing. It gets darker from there… mutilation is just one example of how it can use its human puppets to end people. (i'd feel like some of the crime scenes would look like the death scenes from the Terrifier movies if you've seen those films)

The puppet's eyes will go white and emit a soft glow. It'll speak in a different language usually from decent. For Toby it's German. It will make him go non verbal and responsive to anything mortal. Its literally just the operator taking physical form to harm people. It will hurt those that proxies might care about using their own bodies. It has no mercy. If it wants you dead it will go as far as using someone close to you to satisfy that need.

If a proxy had been controlled multiple times eventually their eyes would fade. They will stay white, usually starting in one eye rather than both at the same time. Once you start seeing that sign in a proxy it's considered too late unless a damn miracle happens.

When under the influence of the operator, Proxies might hurt or even eat small animals, walk on all fours, make feral noises, attack at random, go nonverbal and more. I can't go into too much detail. For Toby, he cannot keep weight on, he has hypermobility, unlimited stamina and of course cant feel pain.

If someone were to harm the proxy while they are being controlled, it would only hurt them and limit their human body when back to normal. The operator will not feel it or let that stop it from getting what it needs done.

For example, if you were to shoot Toby multiple times when he's trying to attack you, it wont do shit.. But when the entity decides to dip, he's left with the wounds and the physical limit of having them. Like any other person would if they were shot.

Being a puppet grants the proxy temporary immortality as well until it wants to replace them. There's so many times Toby really should have died but woke right back up like nothing and would just stare in disbelief that he survived that.

Is there a way to stop the control or restrain an influenced proxy? Yes actually. Even though the operator gives a human certain inhuman strengths, it's still limited to a human body. So rope, physical restraint and maybe multiple hits on the head will take one down. It's really not hard if you can just get them on the ground, taking their weapon source also works. Obviously taking limbs off will make the operator immobile in the body so it would be forced to leave and find another vessel.

It's safer to use the method of tying them to something or leaving them alone tied in the woods somewhere till the proxy comes to after the possession. However they will have no recollection of even being controlled.

There's times where Toby would wake up after slaughtering someone and their mutilated body is the first thing he sees. He knew he did it, but does not remember. And that tears him from the inside out.

I can honestly go on about his personal feelings with living as a puppet but it would be useless. He hates it, that's about all.

In short, the theory is just a morbid way to think about Proxies. Ofc not all proxies are puppets, but that's up to who you like to write about and have hcs for.

Disclaimer: I came up with this headcanon on my own but that's not to say others don't have very similar ones to mine. I'm not gatekeeping it. You guys can take it and run, just don't plagiarize my writing.

[cr33pz-mck3nna]

Fandoms I am willing to write for:

The following fandoms are ones I am willing to write for, the accepting of your request depends on the prompt and the character, if I am comfortable with the request then I will write for them.

Creepypasta(my main fandom if u can't tell lmao)

Slashers/Horror movie killers or survivors

FNAF(Movie or Games, not comfortable with the book au yet until I read the trilogy)

Gravity Falls(I will only write Bill, Ford and Stan for x reader or romantic requests)

Deadpool and Wolverine(have yet to watch the movie but I saw when #deadpool started trending and now I'm hooked on pepperoni hold the pedo(Krueger reference) and the furry-)

Genshin Impact

Demon Slayer

My Hero Academia(only if characters are aged up or pro heroes/villains)

Tokyo Revengers

Record of Ragnarok

Castlevania(the Netflix series)

Dead by Daylight(all hail Ghostface and Legion)

Resident Evil

Dress to Impress(Lana lore theories, let me know if I should start uploading my fits)

Hazbin Hotel

Helluva Boss

Twisted Wonderland

Obey Me!(I will not write for Nightbringer so please specify)

Please be made aware: If a Character is in a specific ship or has a ship I agree with then I may deny x reader requests and I will not accept x reader requests for child characters (such as the MHA teens, the tokrev teens before the timeskip, child crps) unless both the character and the x reader are teens, I will not accept anyone younger then a teen for any requests then a random blurb or headcanons(you BEN x reader's are safe for now.

[claudiyerrr]

i saw you were taking crp matchups and I JUMPED at the opportunity! your writing is GORJUS!

ALRIGHTY THEN!! here’s some stuff about me! sorry if I write too much i have a bad tendency to ramble oopsies..!

im a 4’9 cis girl with golden brown hair, dark blue eyes, freckles, button nose and a septum piercing. my body is mid-size with a bit of tummy— just squishy!! :3

my personality is very outgoing, silly, kind, extroverted, and a bit loud. i have been told I’m very “sunshiney” and cute, and i have a very high pitched voice for someone my age. im extremely extroverted and try to talk to as many people as i can!! i love making friends and being friendly to those around me. i can also be described as “weird” but I really don’t mind cuz everyone’s a bit weird! as i said a bit ago, i ramble a ton and I actually make friends that way just by talking non stop heheheh. i have adhd and suspected autism :P !

my hobbies are: baking, singing, collecting cute things, shopping, drawing, writing songs, gaming, and making jokes!! im very involved in theatre classes cuz im a whimsical little fellow and most of my roles are comedic! my favorite thing to bake is cakes and I make homemade frosting! (secret recipe hehe) i also am a hopeless romantic and enjoy romance mangas with cute fluffy storylines! did I mention i love cute things??

likes: bunnies, DESSERTS, SWEET STUFF, anything cream-filled, parties, cats, jumping spiders, horror movies, forensics, and PINK!!!

dislikes: spicy or bitter foods, hateful people who are just mean to be mean, bigoted folks, my town 😞, caterpillars, things with WAY too many legs, big empty rooms.

EEEEKKK thank u sm for the opportunity to send this in it’s totally long but I hope i added the right information GRAHHH!!! im super excited to see what u come up with :3

i have a male preference as i am heteroflexible! HAVE A TOTALLY GOOD DAY!! <333

Omgosh firstly thank you so much! Also, neurodivergent forensic science besties?! Anyways, I hope you like it!!

Your matchup is. . . Ticci Toby!

While hanging out at a mall one Friday night, security comes over to your friend group and informs you that the mall’s closing up and you need to leave.

Not even realizing the time, you huff in a bit of annoyance because of how much fun you were having there and reluctantly leave with your friends. Once you’re back outside, the friend who drove you all there leads you back to their car.

You guys talk about your favorite purchases and other stores you wish you had the time to hit before getting kicked out for the night, but soon enough you grow a little carsick and decide to watch the horizon outside the car.

Rolling down the window, you rest your cheek in your hand tiredly and stare out into the foggy woods boredly until you spot a flash of orange. A lanky boy with brown hair poking his head out from behind a pine tree waves and you gasp in surprise.

Turning back to look at your friends, you interrupt them frantically, pointing out the window to where you saw the boy, only to see nothing. “You guys seriously didn’t see him?!”

They look at each other in confusion before shaking their heads much to your disappointment. You doze off trying to figure out what the guy was doing out there, after all, he seemed pretty young and didn’t have a hunting rifle or anything in his hands.

“[Y/N], you in or what?” one of your friends snaps you out of your thoughts as you hold your gaze on the dense woods as the car continues driving. “Sure, I’m down,” you answer, not knowing what you were now in on, but not really caring either way.

Pulling up to their house, everyone starts to get out and you take your shopping bags before getting out as well. “So, a sleepover?” you find yourself looking all around into the distant darkness with a small lip bite as your friend group stands beside the car under the streetlamp. After a few “yeahs” you all head inside and decide to sleep in their large living room.

Some of your friends set up snacks for a movie while others get pillows and blankets from unoccupied rooms. You try to help out and pitch in, but everyone seems to have things under control and just asks you to pick out a horror movie.

Slumping down on the couch nonchalantly, you scroll through a few movies before hearing a knock at the living room window and shuddering in response. Looking outside, you see the same brunet boy with orange goggles and do a double take as he points to the TV.

Looking back at the screen, you select the horror movie he was gesturing at as he nods excitedly, you return his excitement by mouthing a “thank you” and smiling, although a bit shaken up that he followed you to your friend’s place. He seems harmless, but you contemplate telling your friend at some point that night even if it annoys them.

As the rest of your friends file into the room, you greet them before looking back at the window and seeing that he’s not there anymore. You didn’t know why, but you almost felt upset that he left. After the movie, everyone starts falling asleep and before you know it, you’re the only one awake.

Deciding to bring some of the dishes to the sink for your friend, seeing as they’re sleeping, you hum to yourself softly before hearing another series of light knocks, this time from the window on the far side of the kitchen

Going over to it skeptically, you open it to be met with bright eyes behind those same orange goggles. “H-Hi, I’m Toby…”

You stick your head out the window and reach to shake his gloved hand, “The name’s [Y/N], nice to meet you Toby.”

He hesitates but shakes your hand with a twitch and from there, you two talk for a while, just getting to know each other until you see the sun start to come up.

He lets you go so you can catch some zs and waves goodbye, saying that he’ll see you around with a little wink. You wink back with a small blush; He seems cute.

*

*

*

Random headcanons:

- He found your house when your friend drove you home the next day, but you didn’t know until a week later when he showed up at your back door with a wave.

- You guys don’t take long before confessing; Maybe a month or two of being friends. You both grab each other’s hands, beaming with blushy faces while talking about how it was love at first sight.

- If you ever have plays for your theater classes, he’ll drag Hoodie along to record it for you so he can watch the whole time. Toby definitely cheers the loudest out of the entire crowd at the end, even throwing a bouquet of flowers that he hand-picked from the forest up onto the stage for you to catch!

- You’d both love gaming together in your free time and I can see him convincing you to play Work at a Pizza Place with him on Roblox. Let’s just say this kleptomaniac likes to burn innocent kids in the pizza ovens 💀

- I feel like you’d both cuddle facing each other and he’d enjoy playing with your hair and connect the dots (your freckles) with his fingertip. He might squish your belly or chubby areas, but it’s not in a teasing way! He just loves every inch of you.

- After the first time you surprise him with a cake, Toby would love it so much that he’d ask to help you out the next time you bake. He tries so hard but 100% screws up in tiny ways, which makes him get all shy and cute. You refuse to tell him the frosting’s secret recipe while the cake’s cooling, so he’ll wait right outside the kitchen against the wall so you guys can still talk as you finish up the cake.

- He’d enjoy reading romance mangas with you and you both squeal and kick your feet over the cutesie moments in them together.

- He’ll pick you up cute trinkets from any missions he goes on. They’ll probably have blood on them but he tries to remember to wipe it off before giving them to you.

- If you need someone to look over the lyrics of a song you write or listen to you sing it, Toby is not your best bet if you’re looking for brutally honest constructive criticism. It’s not that he’s dishonest, he just thinks the songs are perfect because you wrote them.

- His kisses are really soft and he likes to kiss all over your face especially. He tries to only use the unscarred side of his lips to peck you despite you not being grossed out about it. Toby’s just trying to be polite to his first girl.

- You guys definitely have deep moments and crying sessions after you find out he’s a killer and he relates to your strong dislike of bigots and hostile people in general.

- He may or may not try to show you caterpillars he finds in hopes of getting you over your fears. If it backfires and you freak out though, he’ll gently put it back and hug you while apologizing profusely.

- Toby absolutely adores the height difference between you guys because you’re only up to the middle of his chest when you two hug!!

[mcuamerica]

That "Fantastical" Four Movie

Pairing: Chris Evans x Fem!Reader

Requested by anon: Can you write a fluffy one about Chris Evans (like there's another Chris out there)  and a female reader that has CRPS…. Fluff about him taking me being worried and bringing me home and taking care of me. The meds they put me out with makes me drowsy and I sleep a lot…. (Read the full request here.) 

Warnings: Needles mentioned, reader has CRPS (feeling of extreme pain - I think), brief hospital stay, fluffy Chris.

Disclaimer: All my works are FICTION. Nothing pertaining to the characters and/or actors are to be taken as fact. I do not own characters (unless I create an OC, in which I will be sure to mention), actors, tropes, or titles. I do not agree to my works being reposted or published on any sites, even if credit is given. Enjoy!

You and Chris were cuddled up on his couch, watching The Lion King, with Dodger laying on the floor below the two of you. It was going really well until the pain started. Chris noticed when you let out a small whimper and shifted against his chest. He frowned down and shifted to sit up when he saw the pained expression on your face. 

“We need to get you to the hospital, yeah?” He asked, pushing your hair from your face. You responded with a simple nop and winced when he helped you up. He grabbed his keys and your bag and got you in the car. He made sure for you to know that you were going to be okay and that he would be next to you the whole time. He wasn’t going to let anything bad happen. 

And he was by your side as much as he could be. He didn’t want to leave you when they put you under and administered the nerve blockers to your spine, but they wouldn’t let him in the room for that. Once you were settled back in the hospital bed, he held your hand until you woke you. 

“Hey, baby, how are you feeling?” He asked when he finally saw you open your eyes. 

“Hmm? Chris?” You muttered and rubbed your sleepy eyes. You were barely awake and on meds, so you couldn’t really comprehend much. 

“Yeah, hi darling.” He said and gave you one of his iconic soft side smiles. 

“Your smile is too cute.” You muttered and reached out, poking his cheek. “But not hot. At least not as hot as you were in that “Fantastical” Four movie.” You giggled and leaned your head back against the pillow. “I bet that’s why I love you. Because of that movie. I was brainwashed.” You said, almost seriously, causing a chuckle to leave Chris’s lips. As much as he was worried about you, he liked to know you weren’t in pain anymore. 

You arrived back at Chris's place and he helped you get settled in bed the next day. He always had one of your favorite movies or shows on as you recovered from the meds. Once you weren’t as loopy, you assured him that you felt a lot better after the nerve blockers and he didn’t need to worry so much. 

He was worried anyway. He got you your favorite take out, ice cream, candy, and chips. He had Scott bring over your favorite blanket from your apartment and even had him grab the Bruins hoodie you stole from Chris a while back. Once you were all cuddled into Chris’s chest, watching yet another Disney movie, as Dodger laid at the end of the bed, you felt better again. Not only because that pain was gone, but because you were laying with the love of your life and you knew he wasn’t going anywhere.

Main Masterlist

[lumiistarpersonal]

What inspired you to create your oc? For Jennifer and Florence

Which canon characters (if any) do the oc have good relationships with? Why those characters? For Jennifer

Which canon characters (if any) do the oc have bad relationships with? Why those characters? For Florence

many questions so it’s gonna be a long ass post! unfortunately, the readmore feature is glitched for me and whenever i add it it deletes and duplicates stuff. i will add the cut as soon as i can <3

tws/cws: possession (mention), abuse (non-in-depth description), murder (mention) (let me know if i missed any <3)

very long post ahead!

answering the questions for both:

what inspired you to create your oc? jennifer was actually created a good while ago, she originated as the antagonist in a story i worked on in 2019/20. when i joined the crp fandom again earlier this year i wanted to make my own story and decided to revive jennifer for that. her old character is much different to her and is actually more similar to florence. jennifer’s old character was manipulative, violent and obsessive.

florence is newer and was an idea for the reasoning of keeping jennifer as a killer in the story. i have an interest in possession and the supernatural (i do believe in ghosts actually, #boogara gang). and story wise, the idea of someone else using your body to do horrible things is quite horrifying.

answering the questions for jennifer:

what canon characters do they have good relationships with? jennifer is part of a small friend group, all of who she has good relationships with, at least at the start of the story. she also has a good relationship with her older sister. a lot of her good relationships get ruined throughout the story though.

what gestures do they really appreciate? how do you get on their good side? jennifer’s love language is words of affirmation and appreciates those gestures wether they be platonic or romantic. to get on the good side of pre-florence jennifer is easy, though throughout the story she gets more and more paranoid and isolated and at that point it would be basically impossible.

what does your oc admit to be their guilty pleasure? what actually is their guilty pleasure? jennifer would never in a million years admit to a guilty pleasure, she finds the idea of having one embarrassing. a guilty pleasure of hers is watching those cheesy bad romance-ish movies for teenagers (think like twilight and stuff similar), she doesn’t think they are any good, she just finds them entertaining and they are usually funny as hell to her (though unintentionally on the directors part probably)

is your oc dating anyone? if so, who? she has dated people in the past, but as of canon she doesn’t. she does however have a crush on her best friend and rooomate <3 jennifer is a bisexual disaster and we love her for that <3

answering the questions for florence:

what’s something they’ll never understand? of course, florence will never understand how to be a good person and she has no desire to understand. she’ll genuinely never understand how to have good morals.

what canon characters do they have bad relationships with? the worst relationship florence has with a canon character is the one with jennifer. florence is… well abusive, simple as that. she is manipulative towards jennifer and does whatever she can to make jennifer less resistant. their relationship is toxic on a good day

has your oc ever lived above their means? considering florence has always been rich, i don’t think she could’ve spent more money than she could afford. other than that, she just isn’t very materialistic and didn’t care much for spending more money than necessary when she was alive

what’s something your oc counts as unforgivable? she surprisingly enough considers most serious crime (serious crime being any form of violence towards another) unforgivable, including her own. anything that’s violent against another is unforgivable to her, she just genuinely doesn’t care that what she does is unforgivable. she very well knows she’s a terrible person.

what crime is your oc most likely to commit? what crime would they most likely get arrested for? of course, the crime she is most likely to commit is murder, which she already has done more than enough. however, as it is now she probably wouldn’t be arrested for it. if she attempted to commit any other crime she’d be way more likely to get caught.

what was florence’s first kill? i haven’t too much thought into it yet, but i think the first time could’ve been either voluntary or involuntary manslaughter and she simply liked the feeling it gave her. i doubt the first time was planned out the way her other murders are. it also probably wasn’t as violent or brutal as she has done later down the line

[develation]

A Lifeguard's preach- please read

Okay, hi, welcome to my Ted talk. So surprise for some of you but I work as a lifeguard, and I have some things to say about my experience for the 2 years I've worked as one.

A lot of people have decided it's okay to crap on first responders lately, which is a subject I will lightly touch on. But pool lifeguards have been under-appreciated for a very long time. The pool I work at is like a mini-waterpark. We have slides, basketball hoops, a water playground, a lazy river (with tubes), an obstacle course, and concessions. Were not just your neighborhood pool, which means there are more dangers to look out for. Because you can tell yourself that things never happen, but that's a lie. Every day, things always happen.

So today I was walking my stand (grazing stands there called because you walk back and forth for 20 mins straight and then move to the next stand to do it all over again for another 20 mins. repeat that process for 2 hours on lazy river rotation). And this lady decided to sit right in the middle of where I'm walking. Now in lifeguarding, we have to keep a 10/20, which means 10 seconds to see someone and 20 seconds to get to them. And the zone I'm on is SCS which is the little kid playground, y'know, with TODDLERS AND BABIES EVERYWHERE. So in order to properly scan my zone and make sure none of these babies start choking on water, I ask her to move. And she looks at me and goes, "well you should have a sign there that says that." She moves, but did this lady seriously tell me that we should have a sign that says- "Please don't sit in the Lifeguards way. They are trying to make sure you and your child don't die." Like what?!

It's not just her, I alone have been disrespected so much on this job, it's stupid. I've had moms tell me to LEAVE MY ZONE and go get their kid because it will be my fault if they drown when the mother herself is on the other side of the lazy river. I've saved a boy and the mother said, "He was fine. I'm not filling out the paperwork, I just want to enjoy my last ten minutes here." Like, YOUR FUCKING WELCOME.

I am so sick of this. Do people don't even know the amount of training we do just to even work? I have at least 200 hours of training, and I don't even work the full year's cuz of school. It's not just CPR y'know? I know how to and train to handle Rescue-Breathing, seizures, chest compressions (yes, that is different from CRP), allergic reactions, heat stroke, burns, chemical burns (mostly for employees because we work with that stuff), Heimlich, Spinals (head, neck, and back injuries), eye trauma, and more. I, WE, may be no police officer or EMT, but we know our shit.

For working in general, while you're sitting in that cool water enjoying life. Where sitting there (or even worse, walking) in 2-hour rotations sweating our asses off. You can talk about those umbrellas we get on sitting stands all day BUT THEY DON'T DO CRAP. Because the sun MOVES in the sky. And most shifts are from 10:45 to 6:30, open to close. I have only worked 3 shifts that haven't been 7 or 8 hours long.

"What about lunch breaks?" well guess what, we don't get one! Every 2 hours we get 17 min breaks (15 guards on stand and 3 in break room at all times, that's how our rotation works) that could be interrupted at any moment because people don't drown on a schedule. My water bottle is broken (it leaks) from how many times I've thrown that thing when a long whistle goes off.

Just imagine, you're sitting there eating your well-deserved sandwich, slipping some water from your water bottle, chatting it up with the other guards. And then out of fucking nowhere- BRRRRRRRRRRRRR- *Hi this is adrenaline, I'm gonna turn all the way up now* "OH SHIT SOMEONE'S DROWNING FUCK FUCK FUCK-." And now you, your boss, and other 2 break guards are sprinting full speed across the pool deck trying not to trip over your own equipment. With your food and water bottle forgotten on the concrete of the guard-room floor. [It was a very sad day. I had ordered Jimmy Johns just for that...]

I have saved 8 people, all of them children. And every day, there are at least 2 saves, which means someone is drowning and a lifeguard has to jump in for them. Realistically though? There have been too many days for me to count where there were 8 or if not more saves. People take pool safety for granted, there fucking idiots who think that just because they're tall enough to go down the slide they can swim in the 12-foot deep catch pool. They think that they can go in the lazy river without a tube. Or that they don't need a lifejacket. Parents are idiots, who don't watch their children. In one of my saves, I watched a kid disappear underwater in front of me. One second they were above water and the next, just gone. It's not like the movies guys, there's no screaming or splashing. There's the weird doggy paddle, and then they stop making distance and are weirdly treading, and then they're gone. And then you have to pick out from the kids who are floating with their backs on the surface, the kids who pretend to drown for fun, and the adults who think it's okay to "test" the lifeguards.

Just today, within the first 20 mins of open we have a lady pass out. There's something horrifying about holding someone's limp body in your hands and them not waking up. Last year we had a lifeguard pass out from the heat on the lazy river. Just flop straight onto the pavement. In years past we had a woman have a heart attack on the deck. We kept her alive until EMS arrived but she died in the hospital 3 days later. There was another lady who busted her knee open and bled everywhere. Stuff always happens.

I make $10.86 an hour to save people's lives and get shit on while doing it. It's not everybody, I meet those parents who say, "Don't worry, I'll yell at them." Those kids whole actually put their tubes back and put back the tubes that everybody left right next to the corral. That one dude who filled up my water bottle with his water because, "I looked like I was melting and needed something good today". Those girls who say I'm pretty despite all my scaring and me having short hair (yes I have gotten judged for being a girl and having short hair). But most of the time, we are ignored and looked down upon.

Trust me, we don't mind small talk. Or making jokes, telling stories. We just want to be appreciated. And I just don't feel that most of the time. My bosses have been amazing to me, and they are one of the only reasons I come to work with a smile on my face. But above all that, I just want to fulfill the childhood-old dream of being a hero. Of saving a life. I know I'm not quite suited out for firefighting or EMT's or policing.

But I'm still doing it. And I would like for others to just see me, instead of yelling at me for saving their child's life.

[r-ene]

02.27.22

- day 31/50

Sunday = give some time to family. we watched a movie after lunch, before we all had to attend to our different tasks. it's been awhile since i watched action films, and for the day we watched 13 hours.

tomorrow starts the second semester's exam week. and after this week, we have 2 weeks for lectures then comes midterms. hopefully all the rest i got to take me off my burn out would hold until the academic break.

today's productivity:

studied lecture notes for CRP

studied CRP with MIMS and Rau's Pharmacology for Respiratory Care ebook

Memorized special areas and lobes of the brain for NAP

completed additional notes for CRP from Rau's

found the Mandarin book I bought the other year and read a little (may be too excited for Mandarin classes next year, hahaha)

[fairestmusesismoving]

7, 8 maybe more Disney stuff?, 22

All this tea I have today... This is why I drink it in giant Tervis containers.7. Is there a word that you think people sometimes “mispronounce” in a way that you loathe? What is that word?Oooh this cut me deep uh... Okay so the vernacular in this area? We pronounce water as “wood-ehr”. And it makes me absolutely bonkers. I will sometimes pull out what little hair I have left. Between going to a Catholic school where they did insist “You will not speak like a Philadelphian, you will speak STANDARD ENGLISH!” and a public school where the teachers would just very nicely ask us to repeat ourselves until we got to the correct “water”. When my parents do it I give them that whole wall-eyed thing where my eyes do two directions at once.Yeah I hate my own accent that causes me to mispronounce things. I hate myself. I hate the way my voice sounds in my standard accent. My boyfriend has heard me do the full Philadelphian with the “WOOD-EHR” and he hasn’t tarred and feathered me too much for it but uh... Yeah. MY SELF SHAME!8. Unpopular opinion? (Disney flavored Tea)Alright this is super shots fired. While I adore Mary Poppins and pretty much worship the ground Julie Andrews walks on, I want to pretend PL Travers got hit by a truck due to her heavy antisemitism, ableism, and... it’s a long list. Saving Mr. Banks also sanitized her story beyond belief and I think it was highly irresponsible of Disney to do that.Like listen. I’m a woman. Yeah feminism awesome. The moment you try to uplift a woman who never spent time uplifting the other women in her life and went about intentionally crushing others due to whatever bitterness she held within herself, including intentionally ruining the life of her adopted son because he found out she only adopted him because she was the child of her favorite author and wouldn’t adopt his twins together because, and quote because the grandparents wrote it down, “the stars aren’t in align”, this woman should immediately be removed from anyone deserving a “Disneyfied” retelling of their story.Not to mention if you do watch that movie, the entire background you see for her father? She falsified the entire thing. Her father ran away from supporting the family and THAT’S WHY her aunt comes in to support her mother. Travers continued to blame her mother for why her father left them and eventually concocted this story. While no one can verify this because they’re dead now, when Mary Poppins became popular, some in Travers’ youth came forward to tell Disney she’s a fantastic storyteller...because she has this nasty little habit of trying to put glitter on dirt.I really hate when people try to ship Travers and Disney because they were REAL PEOPLE (please stop) and no seriously, the woman is Satan incarnate. I have often told people if I had a time machine and two bullets, it would be to find Travers after she wrote Mary Poppins and to make sure she’s not getting up. She’s a special blend of evil using excuses like “Black people didn’t exist in Australia so how was I supposed to know not to write them like that!” Yeah just. My Disney anger runs so very deep for the people who hail certain things and don’t bother to cross check.TEASIP  PL Travers is trash, trash, trash.22. Favorite thing a fortune cookie has ever told you? (Doesn’t have to be verbatim, but do you remember?)A friend of mine got one that said “You will have good luck.” and I wanted to punch him. I remember one telling me I needed to get rid of all of my fake friends right after I got CRPS and then people started leaving me.Damn cookie magic. I honestly didn’t need those people in my life and that cookie was right.

[iamjjmmma]

On Caring for Someone with Chronic Pain

I originally intended this as inspiration for those who are currently writing about this dilemma, and I wanted to give a few tips.

I care for someone with CRPS, which stands for Complex Regional Pain Syndrome. It’s one of the most painful conditions known to man, and those who suffer from it have a constant pain rate of eight out of a possible ten. Ten will render someone unconscious. Sometimes, I spend entire days with them, and the experience is something like this:

Each day starts with them waking up as if startled by some sort of all-encompassing fear. But you know it’s just the pain.

They’ll walk twenty feet, and then collapse, and then tell you they’re tired. But you know it’s just the pain. 

You’ll do their chores for them, and they’ll tell you not to try, they’ll tell you it’s too much effort, even though you keep on doing it anyway. You think it’s depression. But you know it’s just the pain. 

On bad days, on the days where the medications just don’t work, on days where they can’t take any more medicine because they’ll end up vomiting and passing out on the couch, it’s pure hell. It’s a horror movie, but a horror movie even the producers are too terrified to make. Writhing, kicking, constant crying. Screaming, screaming. And meanwhile, you scream, knowing there’s nothing you can do. 

And the pain you suffer?

It’s even worse. 

It’s an emotional pain, yes, but an emotional pain that becomes something else. Something that becomes its own monster. 

Caring for someone with chronic pain will push you over the edge. It will make every moment last a day. It will turn you upside down, inside out, rip you to shreds, and then toss you out again. It will drive your sanity over the absolute edge, knowing there’s nothing you can do. Nothing except stand there and watch them, and pray, and pray, and prayandprayandpray. You can’t even hold their hand or hug them. That’ll only make the pain worse, if that’s possible. It’s gut-wrenching, and on some occasions, I’ve even ended the day with vomiting in their toilet because of the sheer stress. 

But it will change you.

It will change you, and it will change you beyond belief. It will change your entire aspect on life. All of the little pains you suffer, all of the toe-stubs, stomach bugs, and splinters, will be nothing to you. All of a sudden, everything everyone around you complains about descends to nil. And it will isolate you. Because you can’t complain, you can’t socialize as much. So you’re a little isolated, but you feel fine with it. 

Because you know the hell other people are going through.

Because you’ve seen it.

Because you’ve felt it.

Because you’ve embraced it.

That is what it’s like to care for someone in chronic pain. 

[wild-zamboni]

I found a discord group for people with crps. Do I talk about how I feel about my disorder and ways to cope? Of course not I start a big discussion on horror movies

[hellfireklub-blog]

Successfully revamped.

Here’s your new Discord Roleplay Server which includes every roleplayer around here. 

JRP, WRP, KRP, CRP, everybody is welcome to join the cult and even start your own.  You can take your chance by clicking this link and share this around to gather your best friends or your worst enemies in this gathering place we call the Hell-Fire Club. Every Friday, we host a movie time for all the members and even others; Movies are to be voted for or picked (if it’s your birthday, I guess). 

Every genre of muses is allowed (supernatural, etc etc etc).  This server beholds a few rules that ought to be respected, you can find them on the blog and in the server. Feel free to pass this around.

[jessefandomunited]

Wanna see what a fail I am??? Check this out >.<

So I had a CPR class today, I talked about waiting for it hours ago. So I get to it and i’m not really agitated or nervous, I had a hamburger and wifi so I was set.The class starts and this woman is trying to be really engaging and funny, which i appreciated, cuz it was a boring 4 hour class, however one of the first things they talked about was every bad thing that can happen while giving CRP (vomit , bones breaking ect). Now I do not have the strongest stomach, when it comes to people describing Me in a certain scenario (i enjoy horror movies with really fake looking stuff) but when people go into length describing exactly how everything can go wrong, I don’t like that, I can invision myself in that situation....and i don’t like it. So I start getting that feeling (people who pass out all the time know what I’m talking about) the light headedness, the fuzziness, the nausea all that jazz. Now easy fix right, Just yell out “HEY I’M ABOUT TO PASS OUT!” right? Wrong? I was so nervous because once I interrupted the class everyone would be looking at me and I would stop the entire class (which is long already) and possibly make it longer. However i soon decided me passing out would be a bigger distraction so, i did not yell out, even though time was of the essence...I rose my hand. Yes I am on the brink of being on the floor and I raise my hand to ask for assistance. Now the teacher calls on me and do you think i said “ hey i’m about to pass out help please.” ? No I said “ I’m sorry for interrupting but I have a very weak stomach and I am about to pass out.” Instantly the teacher is over to me an there are not really any places to lie down so she says, “ Here come up front and lay down on one of the CPR dummys.”........YES, this was worse than passing out . Now i had to not only awkwardly stumble to the front of the classroom, but lay down on one of the CPR dummy, while she kept talking. >.< OH boy, I was breathing really deeply and trying to get myself composed REAL FAST! Because I wanted to be up there as little as possible. Luckily there were no cute guys so..dodged that bullet.

[tirsu]

I got tagged by lovely @lullapiee

Rules: you must answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

the last…  

1. drink: Water

2. phone call: Mum

3. text message: My nieces, they started pre-school, so I wished them a good day.

4. song you listened to: P!NK - Fuckin’ Perfect

5. time you cried: Last Friday, I had so fuckin’ terrible pains

6. dated someone twice: Nopety no

7. kissed someone and regretted it: Nopety no

8. been cheated on: Nopety nope

9. lost someone special: Yes

10. been depressed: Today, just now

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: Nope!

favorite colors

12. Blue

13. Black

14. Green

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: IRL no, online yes

16. fallen out of love: Nope

17. laughed until you cried: Yes, I think

18. found out someone was talking about you: Yes

19. met someone who changed you: Yeah, I think

20. found out who your friends are: Yes

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: I’m not on Facebook

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: See above

23. do you have any pets: Not anymore

24. do you want to change your name: Nope

25. what did you do for your last birthday: I celebrated it with my family.

26. what time did you wake up: 7:50 (AM)

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping

28. name something you can’t wait for: My birthday and getting to surgery

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: Today

31. what are you listening to right now: Satu Silvo - Muistojen niitty (something like Meadow of Memories in English)

32. have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Nopety nop

33. something that is getting on your nerves: ATM, CRPS

34. most visited website: probably Finfanfun and Tumblr

35. hair colour: Dark brown

36. long or short hair: Short

37. do you have a crush on someone: Nope

38. what do you like about yourself: My hair, it’s so beautiful and thick

39. piercings: Yes, three normal (lobe) and two helix. I want one more helix.

40. blood type: Dunno.

41. nickname: Tirsu

42. relationship status: Not my thing really

43. zodiac: Leo

44. pronouns: In English she/her

45. favourite tv show:  Doctor Who, Murdoch Mysteries, F.R.I.E.N.D.S

46. tattoos: Nope

47. right or left handed: Righty

48. surgery: Hmm, six for now

49. piercing: Twice the same question? Oh well. Three normal (lobe) and two helix.

50. sport: Eh, probably floorball

51. vacation: What’s my favourite place to go vacation or where I was last time? My favourite place to go vacation is Nokia’s Eden Spa, last time I was on cruise. I don’t really care about traveling abroad.

52. pair of trainers: *cries*

more general

53. eating: Last thing that I ate today was cookie

54. drinking: Last thint that I drank today was water

55. i’m about to: Go to eat lunch and then it’s nap time.

56. waiting for: Getting to know when my next surgery is

57. want: To go sleep ‘cause I’m so tired right now

58. get married: Yeah no thanks

59. career: Well, I’m chef, but now I’m on sick leave

60. hugs or kisses: Hugs

61. lips or eyes: Eyes

62. shorter or taller: Don’t really care

63. older or younger: Maybe older...

64. nice arms or nice stomach: Don’t really care

65. hook up or relationship: Well, neither

66. troublemaker or hesitant: Me? Hesitant. Possible partner? Not gonna happen.

67. kissed a stranger: Nopety no

68. drank hard liquor: Nope, I’m absolutist.

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: Not really

70. turned someone down: Yes

71. sex on the first date: Nopety nope

72. broken someone’s heart: Don’t think so

73. had your heart broken: Not romantic way

74. been arrested: Nopety nope

75. cried when someone died: Yes

76. fallen for a friend: Well, when I was 9 years old, I had crush on my friend, but that’s it.

do you believe in …

77. yourself: Hahaha, not really

78. miracles: Not really

79. love at first sight: Not really

80. Santa Claus: Well of course!

81. kiss on the first date: Nah

82. angels: I want to believe

other

83. current best friend’s name: Well, I really don’t have a best friend.

84. eye colour: Brown-green

85. favourite movie: Tangled

Tagging: @cumberbangers, @sorchathequeen, @memento-amare and @sherifffjones - do this if you want. (Too lazy and tired to tag 20, sorry)

[theoperaghostsstudent]

Get to know me tag

Tagged by @bookwormravenclawgirl ((Y’all should really follow her btw *finger guns*)) RULES: You Must Answer All Statements and Tag 20 Peoples

THE LAST

1. Drink: Water

2. Phone Call: My grandma

3. Text Message: I sent my grandpa the pictures he took using my snapchat so he could make them his phone’s background, lol

4. Song you listened to: Voices in my head from Be More Chill 

5. Time you cried: A little while ago

HAVE YOU EVER…

6. Dated someone twice: No 

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Yeah

8. Been cheated on: Yeah

9. Lost someone special: Yes

10. Been depressed: Yep

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Nah

FAVOURITE COLOURS

12. Blue

13. Green

14. Black

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

15. Made new friends: Yeah, and I’m really thankful to have them in my life

16. Fallen out of love: Yes

17. Laughed until you cried: Yep

18. Found out someone was talking about you: Kinda?

19. Met someone who changed you: “I believe that everyone that you meet changes you in some way so yeah.” - @bookwormravenclawgirl ((This is such a great answer so I’m gonna leave it, lol))

20. Found out who your friends are: Yep

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Yeah

GENERAL

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Practically all of them since I don’t usually add people I’ve never met

23. Do you have any pets: I have a pupper and a woofer, and I miss my angry betta fish that was fueled with rage

24. Do you want to change your name: No

25. What did you do for your last birthday: My boyfriend at the time took me to eat and then took me shopping and to watch a movie

26. What time did you wake up: Late afternoon because I’m a lazy piece of shit

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: I don’t even remember, but probably sleeping because of my pain meds

28. Name something you can’t wait for: To start college

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: A few minutes ago (I had to tuck her into bed since she was in too much pain to do it herself)

30. What are you listening to right now: I just started watching Game of Thrones, so you can only imagine what I’m listening to, like holy crap, wtf?

31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: No, I don’t think so

32. Something that is getting on your nerves: Anxiety and my condition (RSD/CRPS/AMP) *finger guns*

33. Most visited website: Tumblr

34. Hair color: Dirty blonde and ashe blonde? Idek

35. Long or short hair: Long

36. Do you have a crush on someone: 

37. What do you like about yourself: Uhhhhhhhh

38. Piercings: My ears

39. Blood type: O+

40. Nickname: ChuChu, Bella, or Clau

41. Relationship status:

42. Zodiac: Aries

43. Pronouns: Any are fine, but I mostly go with She/they

44. Favorite TV Show: I can’t really pick one?? Maybe Stranger Things?

45. Tattoos: Not yet 

46. Right or left handed: Right

47. Surgery: I’ve had a handful of them because of a reoccurring problem

48. Sport: I used to skateboard and surf, but now I can only really watch sports, so football.

49. Vacation: Once I went on a cruise, and that was fun

50. Pair of trainers: I don’t understand the question???

51. Eating: ......

52. Drinking: I had some water?

53. I’m about to: Take my sleeping meds or pain meds, so I have to decide

54. Waiting for: Season 2 for a few shows a like

55. Want: To help my family and my friend and their family

56. Get Married: I want to in the future...

57. Career: I want to be a dentist, but for now I’m jobless

58. Hugs or kisses: Hugs please

59. Lips or eyes: Eyes

60. Shorter or taller: Either?

61. Older or younger: Depends on the person?

62. Nice arms or nice stomach: ?????

63. Hook up or relationship: Relationship

64. Troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER…

65. Kissed a stranger: No

66. Drank hard liquor: Nope

67. Lost glasses/contact lenses: No, I freak out if I can’t see so I keep my glasses with me everywhere

68. Turned someone down: Yes

69. Sex on the first date: No

70. Broken someone’s heart: Most likely...

71. Had your heart broken: Yeah, but not for the reason you’d think? Idk, I’m stupid

72. Been arrested: No

73. Cried when someone died: Yep, and *Crying btw

74: Fallen for a friend: Yes

75. Yourself: ??

76. Miracles: Considering I’ve almost died plenty of times, yeah, definitely believe in those (and relying on them most of the time)

77. Love at first sight: Sometimes?

78. Santa Claus: Oh geez, I’m Jewish but I still like to imagine the guy is real, lmao

79. Kiss on the first date: No

80. Angels: Like I said, I’ve been pretty close to death, so yeah

81. Current best friend’s name: Malu, Nathan, Logan, Janelle, and one other person I’d like to add

82. Eye color: Light brown or just brown

83. Favorite movie: Either Trolls, Labyrinth, or the Princess Bride

Tagged: Anyone who wants to go for it, lol