#for some reason every time i try to do SU stuff with my style it just looks like peribytes

[nugatorysheep]

Fuck the haters and happy birthday to this dumb fat bastard

[a-student-out-of-time]

Let me try and break it down as best I can (Im sorry for speaking so much, but I do enjoy these sorts of talks.)

I don’t have any issues with Teruko. Yeah, she’s an edgelord, but I do tend to have an affinity for Fangan protagonists who are on the crazier side (shocking, I know), not to mention that I understand why she is that way; her life is fucked.

Xander is fine and all, but nothing I haven’t seen before, but I know Aliza likes him, so I’m not about to badmouth her boy.

Charles is fine because he reminds me of post-DR1 Byakuya, Still a bit of a self-entitled jerk, but cooperative and a major help when it counts, and I like that.

Ace takes every personality trait I hate from both Kazuichi and Leon and mashes them together in one character, and I utterly despise it.

I admit that it is impressive what Despair Time is doing with Arei, even though it’s probably not gonna amount to much, because it bothers me that so many killing games, including the source material, DONT DO THIS. The only time Danganronpa built up a character to be an asshole, then redeemed them in a way that i thought was done well, was Fuyuhiko. And when Arei showed signs of trying to do better, I really admired that, so now I’m cool with her, even though I hated her at first.

Rose is an insanely uninteresting character among everyone else in this cast, and I don’t know why, but i also don’t want to badmouth her because I know Paper-scrap likes her.

Hu is okay, but she reminds me of an over-friendly relative that I have in real life that I don’t really like being in the company of. Like, she assumes things about me, and then spreads that misinformation. Also, the stuff that happened with Nico made me cringe so hard. Like, I GET that she didn’t understand the proper etiquette for this shit, but I am in this scene and I don’t like it.

Eden is okay, but whatever.

Levi? Also okay, but I’m scared of him.

Fuck Arturo, he’s just really annoying for no reason.

I actually really liked Min, and she had a really interesting design, despite its plainness, but she died way too goddamn early and that was kind of a turn off for me (as in a turn off for the series, not…whatever else that could be construed as)

David is David, we don’t really need to say anything here. But yeah, he’s a pretty okay twist villain for me.

I don’t really know what to say about Veronika, she’s just sus as fuck.

I want to like J, but something just sort of turns me off her. I guess she’s just the wrong sort of stubborn? I dunno…

Whit id a little annoying, and I’m struggling to figure out what purpose he serves in the narrative. He feels like the game’s Kokichi, just…less important?

And Nico, while again, I empathise with Nico, kind of freaks me out.

//Yeah, I can understand that

//I enjoy DT's cast overall and I appreciate their depth, but I get why someone would find a lot of them annoying or just okay. Of course, it's still Danganronpa, so some similar character archetypes are bound to crop up in some capacity. It's the story's style of intrigue and overall mysteries that I find more engaging.

//I feel like, if you look at DT on a purely surface level, it loses a lot of its charm and it does end up feeling samey in a lot of aspects. But the foreshadowing and subtle mysteries with the setting, the characters, the storytelling and even the Tumblr blog are so cool and they hint at much more going on than just another killing game.

//But even with that in mind, yeah, this cast can be really annoying sometimes, so it may hamper the experience ^^;

//Point is, I like what they're doing and I wanna see where our story is heading regardless of my predictions.

[2n2n]

lodurloft said: Also men’s hakama must be trousers, while Tsukasa’s is undivided for unknown reasons lol Smth between men’s and women’s hakama Amane likes strange things. Ah, maybe that’s why Tsukasa barely could walk firstly

read everything I say here in the meekest, mousiest little voice imaginable as I'm feeble and not an authority, and websites sortof contradict or refer to different eras and I can't sus out every reliable source </3:

Not the case as far as I know! Hakama being split-legged or open had to do with whether or not physical activity was expected of the wearer, mostly. Split hakama might be worn for horseback riding or some vocations, kendo, shootan arrows, way way back… but gosh take anything I say with a grain of salt too, as much as I try to read hither and yawn, hakama change so much over the years and I'm not sure what AidaIro were 'going for', or what's circumstantial ...

Actually so interesting but I've noticed that in very first fanart and MMD model after Tsukasa's debut (but before his reprise), people assumed his hakama was split and drew it as such, assuming that he was in the more physically useful kind … I think you see more split hakama in anime/manga not because of men, but because characters are typically sword fightan and arrow shootan and being active and wearing them in that manner. Tsukasa was seemingly 'a shounen villain' so I think people drew a natural conclusion. It's really fun and flirty that actually, Tsukasa's hakama is a formal sort, and has less of a sports vibe and more of an elegant occasion vibe. It's really fanciful ... and sortof funny that this guy dressed for, a wedding or something, shows up and floats all around.... I wonder if Iro intentionally played with expectations there?

Kikyo for instance wears a split hakama because she fires arrows and has a physically taxing lot in life...

but there are still some interesting gender differences with hakama with sortof might apply to Tsukasa, but I'm so hazy on this … I wish some genuine expert could weigh in lol … but it appears men's formal hakama traditionally are striped, while women's are solid colored? Men's hakama are also generally sashed lower on the body (at the hips) while women's sash at the waist, just below the chest.

Aida's gradually raised up Tsukasa's hakama irresistibly. Though I don't think this hakama raising is a diegetic detail (as in, I think in 'flashbacks' or 'redraws' we'll still see it high up, so it's not as if Tsukasa HIMSELF is CHOOSING to wear it higher, but that Aida eventually decided that a higher sash was appealing and suited him more, and is probably retroactively 'how he always wore it')...

though it's not exactly as high as most women's, nor as low as most men's, which I think is cute….

he cuts such a nice hourglass figure ♥ I sometimes see JP fans referring to 'Tsukasa's breasts' lol....

I'm assuming 'cuz the boys are from the 60s etc, that they're more around the time hakama weren't common wear in everyday occasions or work, but by the 70s were coming into a kind of fashion again for stuff like even school ceremonies like graduating … if it's Amane's choice, it's sooo fascinating ....

Anyway I do think Tsukasa has a girlish swag about him intentionally. While the hakama's skirt style isn't gendered, all the upskirt shots and billowing and twirling that gets drawn is wwwwww

coincidentally Amane's gakuran embellishes his shoulders, giving him a masculine silhouette. I think this is intentional lol.......... but maybe I'm crazy... idk .... its my blog......

[clorofolle]

Longish rant about gluten free restaurants and the way they handle contamination under the cut!

Today I went to a pizza restaurant that offers gluten free options. I ask if there's a separate menu I can choose from, get told that nah, but also it's up to my discretion, depending on how much I react to contamination, to choose wisely. He gives me a short list of very bland/simple pizzas and says those are guaranteed contamination-free, while every other topping gets made in block but I can put them on the gluten free pizza base.

I'm blown away - it's hard to find people in food service 1) knowledgeable enough about contamination to understand that different people might take a different approach to them, and 2) honest enough to tell you how their process works!

I don't show symptoms/don't feel sick from a little contamination, and do blood work yearly to make sure I'm not accidentally ingesting too much gluten, and I've been 100% clean n good since I was a kid. I have an Extremely rigid gluten free diet at home, precisely so I can account for a little bit of contamination the few times I eat out. I never eat things with wheat in them of course, but I also can afford not to care if there's been indirect contamination in tools, kitchenware, frying oil etc. I know this because I've been celiac since I was a kid and know how I work by now.

So when I place my order and another guy comes out and tells that No, Actually I can only choose from those three bland pizzas, they have a responsibility, they cannot put toppings that they can't assure are not contaminated in the slightest, even if I take full responsibility, that's really disappointing!! Like I'm not gonna give the restaurant shit for it, it's good that they care about this stuff, and the guy was absolutely just doing his job.

But also - it very much feels like them trying to tell me how *my* health thing works. I wonder what kind of weird system they have in place - I suppose there's gotta be some legal reason for them to be soo strict about this, maybe they can legally be sued if they served that pizza as "gluten free"?

The best way I've seen a restaurant handle this, was saying that they offer burgers "with gluten free bread". So they can't say it's "gluten free burgers", and most sensitive individuals can avoid that place. But also, the other ingredients don't CONTAIN any gluten, per se, it's a way to say "there COULD be some contamination", and it's really smart, imo.

Fun thing is - pizza restaurant I went in didn't even have a second oven just for the gluten free stuff. I can tell bc my pizza had the classical "circular aluminium container" shape. And AFAIK, that's another actual red flag for very sensitive individuals, because Neapolitan style ovens are not usually kept too much clean, and there's like flour all around inside them (if your pizza gets a burnt bottom, it's probably bc of a dirty oven). So like uhh? You only have one oven? And you couldn't put a non-fried vegetable and cheese on my pizza?

Anyways I hope they find some legal loophole to get ppl like me more yummy pizzas. Because I actually LOVE when places are upfront about possible contaminations - it helps me keep count. I've definitely had places that claimed to be "gluten free" and then what I received had me doubt they even knew what that meant. A good compromise CAN be reached.

[oo0-will-of-the-wisp-0oo]

On ai- I think one of the main distinctions between editing something and having ai produce it is one requires. Effort, and actual time/thought behind it. Spending a minute feeding a database prompts until you get something you want is nothing compared to the countless hours put into a piece, be it writing/art/etc

You could argue that by virtue of posting something online, people sort of sign away on what people do with their art, but even in such cases you cannot deny that ai companies went about collecting data in malicious and deceptive ways- often without any time to genuinely revoke consent.

With ai art, people can replicate someone's style, which can then threaten their own personal brand/livelihood. This becomes more apparent when you know that a major part of the actors strike was specifically against ai owning the rights to people's image/voice indefinitely. An actors entire workplace existence hinges upon the fact that they will be paid to be somewhere and say and do something- this gives them the security of an income, but it also gives them the right to turn down any works they don't agree with/don't want to be a part of. By removing the actual *actor* from acting, the company can get away with not having to actually pay someone, let alone pay someone a living wage

I think the biggest reason I, and many others, are against ai, is for the same exact reason people would be against reposting art instead of reblogging, or the reason we used to get all the warnings against online piracy: it will directly hurt the creators that spent countless hours working on something. The difference between piracy and ai, however, is ai hurts creators that are just like you, and your community, and it will continue to do so if left unchecked

It is a very big win that ai generated works cannot be copywrited, bc it means that people will not be able to profit off of something they did not truly make. It would be unreasonable for someone to launch a TV show where the premise was ai, or the script itself, or the actors, and then try to claim ownership over it, and insist that they make a profit off of it, that no one else can use it, when in truth they had no part in the actual creating of the show

This is kinda a mess, and im open to more discussion/providing links to stuff mentioned later, but hopefully this is kind of an insight into why ai isn't. The best

Yes! Thanks for the discussion!

I think you’re responding to my previous post: https://www.tumblr.com/oo0-will-of-the-wisp-0oo/748487000957550592/any-of-my-people-interested-in-discussing-ai

If I were to use AI, I would be 100% honest about. Also I would charge less in most cases.

The reason being is it feels to me like it is providing me with images/information, and therefore helps me save time. I prefer to use it as a tool, though rather than use it as a means to an end. At least with the few AI I’ve experimented with, I’ve noticed that the program/algorithm kind of does a half-ass job on it’s own and the final piece would need to be edited to my satisfaction - especially text prompts. Using only text-prompts produces pretty substandard results. I find whatever the AI spits out usually needs to be edited, sometimes rather extensively, or else it’s unusable. And it takes up more time than I like for the program to process. I don’t just want to text-prompt and keep whatever gets developed.

There are some AI that you can use a photo or drawing of your own as reference. AI Arta is one of these. I’m playing around with Bing and Picsart, too. And of course EVERY app seems to be providing its users with its own AI (although usually using original products such as Dall-E or Midjourney, is what I find)…

Also, my original link on my blog said AI can’t be copyrighted… However I’ve found at least Dall-E allows you to make a profit: “Subject to the Content Policy and Terms, you own the images you create with DALL·E, including the right to reprint, sell, and merchandise — regardless of whether an image was generated through a free or paid credit. Oct 29, 2023” - although perhaps this still doesn’t mean it’s under your own copyright… I’m not sure about that.

I’ll just finish this reply to you saying I think everyone should keep discussing AI. Thanks again for your own input. I figure the more it’s talked about, the more we’ll figure out how to use it. I don’t want to snub people who are completely for or against it. I WANT to hear what people think about it. If I learn something I didn’t know before because of keeping an open mind, that’s a good thing.

Hope what I’m writing is comprehensible, it’s after 5am. I should get to sleep! lol

Here’s a website where the opinion is that AI won’t “take over” people’s jobs/artistry, but it will make their jobs more efficient for them.

[godtier]

AI art detection methods: a starter guide

so here it is, my starter guide on how to detect AI art.

to set the tone of this guide: i am not really the type to go full-ass pitchforks and torches and call someone a bad person or dumb for liking, reblogging, or even using AI art for inspiration/mood board/etc purposes without knowing that it was AI generated in the first place.

it has become incredibly difficult to detect these things as the models are becoming more and more accurate with certain subjects. it's why i decided to write this guide in the first place. i take these situations as learning opportunities, to use corpo speak lmao, and so i don't think there's any value in shaming anyone for liking/reblogging smth "SO OBVIOUSLY AI."

they might not have known, so teach them!

after all, everyone starts somewhere, so it's best to help teach when you can! do not use these methods to bully people or falsely accuse people because i will know and be very disappointed in you. >:(

so if you are concerned about reblogging something that is AI-generated, for whatever reason it may be, i can provide some quick[citation needed] tips that i use to detect it with some level of accuracy. this is especially useful when people don't tag their pictures as AI-generated.

PLEASE NOTE: this is not, by any means, meant as a catch-all, 100% success rate way of detecting AI art. learning models are trained off of existing art styles, after all, and you may come across a legitimate artist whose style is widely replicated by algorithms. this can give the perception that the artist is the one faking it.

check your work before accusing anyone. in fact, don't do public callouts unless you have irrefutable proof. a hunch or coincidences are not irrefutable proof. it'll save everyone a lot of headaches if you end up being wrong and you could also potentially damage someone's career (and risk getting sued for it).

a lot of these steps come with the expectation that you will do some legwork to figure out if something is actually a generated image or not. it's not always the same every time and it will rapidly change depending on what model is used and what prompts are used. these are guidelines, not tenets.

anyway, in no particular order:

one: stylistic and subject consistency

if you see a post in which several images are presented in a way that suggests they are a set (i.e.: the same subject at different angles), check for consistency.

a bouquet of flowers should not have the flowers positioned in different ways or omitted entirely between shots, especially if you suspect it's meant to be presented as photography. most photographers won't rearrange flowers between shots unless they're trying to achieve a specific sort of effect. in short, if it's just a few aspects of the subject that are omitted but the general piece looks "the same," it's probably not a photo. if it's presented as a hand-drawn piece, rearranged or missing pieces are also a flag; speaking as an artist, if i were to redraw something at a different angle, i wouldn't omit stuff that should still be visible in the new angle.

it is also good to check the artist's blog for consistency in style; if they are posting a lot of really detailed landscapes in one style and then posting anime-style stuff in another, that can be a flag.

that's not to say that artists cannot have multiple styles (i do!) but it's exceedingly rare that someone who is a wizard at photorealistic ethereal landscapes would also be a wizard at big tiddy animu waifus and amazingly smooth calarts style cartoons. i'm talking like "this looks like it was a cel from an anime" and "this looks like a painting in the louvre." that level of dissonance.

dissonance is key; if it seems weird, be a little wary and look into it further.

two: lighting

AI models often struggle with lighting A LOT. no matter what the subject is, the lighting will oftentimes be incorrect in a lot of pieces. this can be hard for people to notice, but the light source should be consistent.

let's look at an example:

this fellow has a gigantic sun lighting the background. we can see that the background objects (such as what i think are trees?) are lit with that in mind for the most part. however, the foreground appears to be lit from the right (subject's left). with a light source that gigantic in the background, even in a cartoonish style, one would think the subject would be more in shadow, like this:

as a side-tangent, this is why a huge rule of thumb with photography is that the sun should be in front of the subject, unless you're going for a stylistic choice like this. reason being is the sun overtakes the entire frame when in the back.

of course, actual real-life artists struggle with this too! in which case, your best bet is to look at the artist's previous posts and see if there's consistency, as in point one.

three: types of mistakes and other common traits

so one way to check if you suspect a piece is AI generated is to look for the commonly known mistakes or "tells." you want to drill down, basically, from easiest to hardest to detect/notice:

on human/humanoid subjects, the most obvious one (to the point of it being a meme) is how the fingers/toes look. such as too many/not enough, but not done in a deliberately stylized way (i.e.: an anime waifu drawn in the style of genshin impact having 4 fingers is likely not a stylistic choice since it's not a typically cohesive thing to do since everything else will look more "realistic." by contrast, a cartoony phinneas & ferb-style character may be expected to only have 4 fingers and simplistic clothing or accessories).

too many/not enough arms/legs. legs that appear where they shouldn't (i.e.: a character sitting cross-legged but then an extra leg somehow hanging down off a chair, etc).

blurry/uneven lines. this one might be hard to visualize, so the best way i can describe it is when you copy and paste something in photoshop or even MS paint and then move it over slightly. it creates a jagged edge:

here's our happy example man that i drew using a touchpad lmao. he's v happy in the first picture!

but then in the second picture, we can see that he's sprouted a new arm (incidentally, he's still happy)! but it doesn't look right, does it? it's because i copied a selected area and pasted it, then moved it down slightly.

you will find a lot of AI art will have aspects to it that look very similar to this, typically in areas where there's a lot of repetition, like grass or clouds.

weirdly detailed "bloom" or "smoothness" to the point of something looking very artificial, even for an artificial subject. the willy wonka knock-off installation in glasgow used images that are very obviously AI generated and embody this weirdness pretty clearly:

"bloom" is basically a term for nearly airbrushed-looking lighting. look closely and you'll see that everything has this sort of "sheen" or "glow" to it in a way that makes it look very strange and unnatural, but not in a way that looks handmade.

impossible geometry and/or landscapes that don't make logical sense. this one is probably one of the harder ones to detect because it often requires staring at an image for a bit, like a hidden object puzzle. to use the willy wonka knock-off pic again, the waterfall itself doesn't make sense:

where is the water coming from? it appears that it's coming from straight above just going by the direction of the "strokes" there, but as we see, there is no water source feeding this waterfall. it looks like the AI sort of started to create a waterfall on the rocks/grassy part above but got distracted or something halfway through (which is something that happens a lot with algorithms, oddly enough).

background objects that look fine at a glance, but when taken apart individually, are very odd/slapped together.

at a glance, this looks to be just a stock image of someone's drawing of a bunch of US currency and whatnot. but looking closer:

sure is a square-looking dollar bill there!

and on the other image, it appears as though the currency strap is melting/merging into the bill...? along with a coin? or something?

to another point similar as above, algorithms will also do a lot of "like with like." that is to say, they have a hard time delineating between objects when those objects are close to the same color or shade and also positioned very close together. it's often why fingers can merge together into a mush/stump on humanoid subjects. so for that currency strap example, it's a cream-ish color that is very close to the light green seen on the dollar bill design's negative space. this is likely why the algorithm merged them together; it doesn't know exactly what it's doing, so objects will bleed into each other as long as it still gives the impression of the goal object/output.

four: don't beat yourself up over it

in closing, a piece of AI art will almost always look "confident." it'll also almost look perfect and skilled in that way when first looking at it. and though it may be distractingly perfect in that first glance, it will likely look incredibly imperfect when you look closer. imperfect in the way an algorithm would mess up.

that's honestly a large part as to why many people don't pick up on what pieces are generated vs not. these pieces are eye-catching and skillfully presented enough to the point of people not noticing the finer details. the more "technically skilled" a piece is, the more often that people will gloss past the mistakes. how many times have you seen posts where someone says, "i find new things in this piece every time i look at it?" that's why. we're wired to look at the big picture, literally. and that's not anyone's fault. so don't beat yourself up over it or think you're an idiot if you weren't able to tell the difference.

remember: this is an insanely new thing. while image generating itself isn't necessarily new, and programs like photoshop and other image editing software have been using algorithms for many of their functions for probably well over a decade now, this specific type of image generation is still fresh. and it's constantly changing. unless you're in the tech space, you may not even realize the advancements being made, and that's okay! you can always learn more. just be alert and aware, as this will also help you combat a far more sinister issue, which is deep fakes and other false info being spread. double-check everything.

so those are the main methods to start with if you want to try and improve your generated image detection abilities! i hope this post was informative and helpful!

[the-firebird69]

We're going after his companies and the ones he took from other individuals who lost to Stalin and we're making sure Stone doesn't get them and taking factories or taking ammo ordinance and all sorts of stuff that these people just leaving laying around cuz this guy's a f**** or something we don't know why we go in there grab it it's just sitting there and this guy's assholes are so lazy and lame don't defend themselves like he doesn't. We're having huge lots my son says it they're so stupid and so pissy and lame just going there and sending Stars clean out anybody that does anything and going and raid the living s*** out of the areas all of them we're going to start doing that now there's no reason not to it's such poops and it looks like people getting back at them for what they did siding with Tommy f

Thor Freya

Thanks for being such a bother okay Trump. You're such a loser Mr Merrick and by the way most of your lawsuits people are suing you for what you did and assuming you for what happened out there cuz I see what your wall did and other things and assuming you for being at the wrong place at the wrong time meaning you're not there like it shows in the movie because you left earlier this afternoon and the wave came in from something else yeah the first drop. Now you're telling people that you're here and you're thinking that we're going to have a tizzy cuz you're a moron we have a tizzy cuz you're here and you're annoying and you're an ugly piece of s*** and you're asking for a fight and if you come over we're going to hit you with something that's pretty much it so what you're doing is advertising you're here to people want to kill you you do it all the time they kill you which is great it's like free you like this hostile 4 year old child I'm sorry this morning is a little kid he said what's to prevent me from reaching over and just punching your head in it says it's hard and I don't think that's really true it was just like Tommy's going to eat it so he started feeling pretty bad he started yelling people started kicking him those are on the corner and someone hit him right in the face with a frying pan flattened his face. The real story what happened at the waterfront is different it's falling behind you is going real slow came to a standstill so you checking your phone and was afraid of you and was going to turn around cuz he said something stupid and you heard this from them we heard what you said and we're after you not him he's checking on something else they told him what he said why and it says cuz he doesn't care about you you're an idiot. So he left mad and went the other direction back to fisherman's Pier and he was checking on something then he went back out and he's going along the walkway where he was told not to go by Billy z and out of the water came a guy he said can you help me I'm working on these boats so he walks over like some kid and Billy z popped him for Rooney's playing again that's what he said it was for really to revenge because Trump doesn't do anything but annoy people. And yeah is the fat guy too with these stupid looking woman who is Terry cheeseman and it's amazing a lot of boats no damage at all and some had damaged in weird places like someone was going by and there's an idiot and that's what it was there's a bunch of people that left went out to see and died I thought it would be safer or they could escape it by going north or south they found out it was a very big storm and very violent. We handed each and every one of them and we still do and then people bothering him like this a****** outside he's getting ready to yell at people any good shot by Tommy F this morning and his backup running around being a dick and it's going to go out there to the prison I'm trying to take the quarters cuz he find out where they are and that he took them

Hera

Great job and narration and I like it lots

Zues

We like it a lot too it's the sink to the point and colorful and you know my style and you know why it's so different but she's a girl too a woman and she's growing into a beautiful woman now and she's coming into her rulership ahead of you so watch out

Thor

Leave a lot to say but he's got to flip his chicken things but she's a great person this is awesome

Freya

We wish you the best and we know he's on a timer and everything always gets messed up so we're going to start this in a minute Olympus

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 316: We've Had One, Yes, But What About Second Explosion

Previously on BnHA: Deku was all “[powers up like whoa because it’s time to end the fight]”, and he saved Overhaul from getting not-shot, and then smashed up Nagant’s arm with the power of his new rechargeable super knees. Nagant was all “yoooo this kid is crazy strong whaaaat, it’s like he’s some kind of protagonist or something.” Deku was all “I AM A PROTAGONIST, ACTUALLY, DO YOU WANT TO JOIN FORCES AND FIGHT BAD GUYS WITH ME?” Nagant was all “ah shit why the hell no -- ” and then AFO was all “SURPRISE” and everyone was all “?!?!?!” and AFO was all “TIME TO EXPLODE NOW” and made Nagant explode because he’s an absolute fucking dick. And then Hawks showed up, because Horikoshi just wanted to stuff as many plot points as humanly possible into a single chapter I guess.

Today on BnHA: Hawks is all “good job giving motivational shounen redemption speeches Deku but I’ll take it from here” and screams very earnestly right in Nagant’s face until she finally wakes up. Nagant is all “oh hey it’s my successor, you seem surprisingly unfucked-up from your own HPSC tenure, how did you manage that?” Hawks is all “fandom is going to love hearing this one, but basically it’s because I’m very upbeat and also I had the world’s best role model Endeavor to look up to,” and I swear this man stirs the pot on purpose, but damn it I still love him so damn much. Overhaul is all “HELLO AGAIN, JUST A REMINDER THAT, THE BOSS!!” and Deku is all “MAYBE TAKE TWO SECONDS TO REFLECT ON HOW YOU TORTURED A LITTLE GIRL,” which, thank you, lol. Nagant is all “btw AFO’s hiding in a house in the woods”, and so Deku and the gang go to the house in the woods. Video recording!AFO is all “hi I’m AFO welcome to Jackass” and blows up the house. Sometimes I wonder if this manga is just a weird dream.

I am once again reading the Bean version because I think it was actually the best out of all three translations last week. and that is surprisingly including Viz’s. “faux” is not nearly as entertaining as “knockoff”, and also I have literally no idea why Caleb thought Deku was saying the Third’s lines lol

oh hey, Endeavor’s here too! not that you’d ever be able to tell from this first panel lmao

glad you received All Might’s call, mysterious unidentified glowing smudge

oh snap he says he’s weaker in the rain. is that why AFO told Nagant to attack then?? except that as we discussed the other day, I believe that AFO fully intended for Nagant to lose the fight, so him giving her info that would give her an advantage doesn’t really fit in with that. maybe he wanted Deku to be separated from Endeavor and the rest for maximum angst, though

btw Deku’s eyes are unsurprisingly back to the new normal here

alas, the angst continues. I say, pretending like I’m not totally eating it up each and every week and writing essay after essay about it lol

anyway so apparently Hawks can’t actually fly lmao. he was just yeeting himself with style

for some reason this is the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever seen omfg. wave to Hawks, kids! say “bye, Hawks!”

j/k of course Deku is catching them. -- except???

wow so he was just running on fumes there at the end. well, good to know there is actually a limit to his shenanigans, particularly regarding this new “knockoff” 100% OFA. it will definitely not alleviate any of the discourse, but it’s good for my own peace of mind because it’s solid confirmation that he still needs his pals in order to win this thing

anyway, but on to the rest of this conversation, which is basically Deku deducing what we all deduced last week -- AFO implanted some sort of trap into Nagant when he gave her Air Walk. though I’d still like to get the actual details from AFO and/or Horikoshi, because this was particularly wild even by quirk standards lol

omgggggg

she still has a face after all!! so it’s confirmed, Horikoshi has no idea what “blowing up” actually means. we might have guessed, based on what happened to Toga in the MVA arc, and also based on everything Katsuki does ever, but shhh

so now Hawks is all “NAGANT PLEASE WAKE UP, IF I SHOUT MY NAME AT YOU WILL THAT DO THE TRICK”

this is actually kind of touching though because even though we all know (or most of us acknowledge at any rate) that Hawks is a pretty caring person, it’s rare to see him actually panic over someone’s welfare like this

oh shit Horikoshi is really doubling down on it

I wonder how much Hawks knew about what really happened between Nagant and the HPSC. regardless, he probably sees her as a kindred spirit of sorts, and I’m more than happy for Deku to pass the redemption torch onto him now that he’s on the scene. like no offense Deku but they actually know each other and stuff lol

DAMMIT NAGANT CAN’T YOU SEE HOW LOUD HE IS YELLING

apparently being freed from his HPSC shackles has finally given Hawks the space to embrace his own inner shounen protagonist. is there anything more shounen than trying to motivationally scream someone awake when they’re lying in your arms inches from death?? 100% guaranteed to work

!!! IS THIS NAGANT’S POV OMG

SO SHE IS ALIVE. THANK GOD. Horikoshi doesn’t want to meet with my emotional distress lawyer today after all

love how she’s all “just gonna stir up the weekly Hawks Discourse pot here by implying that he probably committed a lot of Atrocities just like I did, so now people can get all hopped up about that, even though there’s no evidence he’s ever killed anyone aside from that one horrible ‘damned-if-you-do...’ situation with Twice.” no one asked for your provocative speculation young lady!! trust me Nagant, our rabbles don’t need the rousing lol

but nice save there with the “so how are your eyes so untainted” well you see it’s because even when he was following the HPSC’s orders he always went to great lengths never to go against his own moral compass. which just to be clear was incredibly difficult, and led to a ton of pain and suffering on his part, because the life of a spy is basically just one impossible situation after another. but in spite of that he never stopped trying to do his best to help people. I don’t really know where this tangent came from or is leading to, lol, but anyway p.s.a. I love Hawks a lot and he’s a good kid dammit

oh shit??!?

how is the League always able to swing all these fancy forest mansions. where do they find them. how many do they have

so Deku’s dropping them -- very roughly, not sure if he was reacting to finally getting AFO’s location, or if his energy really is giving out -- and now Nagant’s saying that AFO hired other villains as well. well of course he did. gotta keep chipping away at OFA’s ninth successor little by little

now Nagant is asking Hawks how he’s able to keep making “that” face. I assume she’s again talking about the fact that he somehow didn’t let the HPSC wear down his spirit

oh my god???

thanks for stuffing this chapter to the brim with good nutritional Hawks Feels, Horikoshi. what a good. he just keeps on trudging forward undeterred no matter what bullshit comes his way. what a steadfast little guy. I WILL PROTECT YOU FROM DISCOURSE MY SWEET SUNSHINE

lmaoooo

“SPOTTED THIS DUDE JUST CHILLING OUT THERE ON THE ROOF WITH NO ARMS, SEEMED PRETTY SUS” good job Endeavor

anyway so you don’t really need me to tell you that Overhaul is immediately starting in with the “BUT THE BOSS WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE ME TO THE BOSS YOU PROMISED YOU WOULD TAKE ME TO THE BOSS” stuff again. but I will go ahead and tell you anyway. so yeah. he’s doing that

OMG YOU GUYS LOOK AT DEKU’S “of all the fucking assholes to just randomly drop in on my life once again why did it have to be you” FACE THOUGH, OMG

fun fact, if you go back to chapters 124 through 160, there was an entire story arc where Overhaul imprisoned and tortured a little girl. yeah, I know!! suuuuuuuuper evil. anyways just an interesting little anecdote for you all that’s somewhat relevant to the current situation

OMG, YES. FUCK YES, DEKU

THEN WHAT ABOUT SPARING ONE FOR HER!!! YES!!! EXACTLY!!! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, SOMEONE GETS IT

HERE’S THE PANEL OF DEKU SAYING THE EXACT SAME THING I’M SAYING LOL

(ETA: so apparently there’s some discourse about this because some people are interpreting this as Deku saying “you should apologize to Eri”, which would obviously be a terrible idea even if Overhaul actually wanted to do that, because Eri shouldn’t ever have to see him again. however I just want to point out that there is a HUGE difference between saying “it would be nice if you could direct that feeling of regret/being sorry towards Eri as well”, vs saying “you should also apologize to her.” all Deku is doing is rightfully pointing out that Overhaul has hurt way more people than just his boss, and if he really is remorseful, then he should extend those feelings of remorse to Eri and the rest as well. it’s not a directive to take any specific action, and I’m 1000% sure no one at U.A. would let Overhaul within 100 miles of Eri ever again.

tl;dr “try feeling remorse sometime” =/= “do you want me to fly you over to U.A. right now to surprise the little girl you traumatized”, lol.)

[slings an arm around Deku’s shoulders] you’re a good kid. I like you. I don’t know if I tell you that enough, but it’s true

meanwhile here is Overhaul’s “spare... a thought... for Eri...???????” face sigh

the struggle is real y’all

(ETA: and that’s... the last we ever saw of Overhaul, I guess? well all right then. I assume Deku will make good on his promise, so we know he’ll get that little bit of closure before going back to jail or whatever, and I confess I’m more than fine with leaving the rest of it open-ended, especially given his character’s history. I think this was pretty generous all things considered.)

lmao holy shit

All Might what did you do to those tiki torch guys?? did you thrash them. did you give ‘em those hands. did you deliver their own asses to them complete with a sticker reminding them Amazon Prime Day is on June 21. we missed out goddammit

so Endeavor, who wasn’t the one he was asking, is telling him that they captured (well let’s be real, Deku captured, give the credit where it’s due) Nagant and Overhaul. and so I guess they’re going to take Nagant to the ER now

fire is no one’s weakness

-- oh my GOD I scrolled down and audibly gasped

[is politely but firmly approached and asked to remove my arm from Deku’s shoulder by the physical manifestation of all this Dekuangst] “we’re sorry, he’s not allowed to have visitors right now” oh shit, my bad. [goes to stand behind a police barricade]

lmao what. did you run out of room on the previous page

what an exaggerated fade to black lmao

-- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I actually can’t see what he’s reacting to so maybe I’m just seriously jumping the gun here lol, but THE HELL WITH IT. the next panel appears to be a cut to Haibori Forest, so I’m just gonna go ahead and declare that Deku ran off on his own all wounded to go have more Dekuangst, just like I manifested. now go call Katsuki goddammit

[scrolls three more inches down] oh

yeah so like I said, Deku is walking very slowly a few feet in front of Endeavor, who’s telling him to wait up. yep. we’ve all gotta be so careful to not just jump to conclusions. I know we’re excited but still

anyway, so! welcome back to Mt. Lady and Kamui Woods (ARE YOU GUYS DATING) and Edgeshot! have fun walking into this obvious trap lol

dammit Deku why are you so determined to tempt fate

[monkey puppet meme faces]

OH MY GOD THIS IS PURE GRADE-A CHEESY COMIC BOOK VILLAIN 101 SHIT AND I’M HERE FOR IT

that’s such a weird way of clapping who claps like that

unlike certain other people who shan’t be named, AFO doesn’t feel the need to inexplicably take his shirt off when recording sinister villain monologues. I think we’re all pretty grateful for that

high fives to everyone who called it!! yep yep

anyway so this whole scene has major booby-trap vibes, which I’m enjoying immensely even though I don’t think anything is really going to come of it lol. probably just another long-winded AFO Speech. but wouldn’t it be funny if like the ceiling started lowering down to try and squish Deku afterwards lol

(ETA: well the explosion was still pretty funny too ngl.)

ffff

[“Dekuangst is the trap” intensifies]

anyway so yeah. he’s just hitting up all of his usual villain talking points. we get it, you’re so smart and you see right through the thin veneers of society and people who don’t conform are left to fend for themselves and labeled as villains and history is written by the victors, and blah blah blah dude are you just jumping randomly from one soundbyte to another lol. literally what are you talking about. what does this have to do with you blowing up Nagant

-- holy shit??

[”Dekuangst is the trap” intensifies MORE?????]

LOL WHAT

BRO. WHAT IS WITH YOU. DON’T YOU KNOW HOW TO LAY ANY OTHER KIND OF FUCKING TRAP GOOD LORD

“YOU’RE NEXT” THE CALLBACK?? THE PARALLELS?? THOUGH WHEN ALL MIGHT POINTED HE MADE IT LOOK WAY COOLER. AFO’S POINTING JUST LOOKS LIKE SMOKEY THE BEAR

HAS ANYONE CHECKED IN ON KAMUI WOODS I HEAR HE IS WEAK TO FIRE?? THE ONLY ONE WHO IS, APPARENTLY

r.i.p. to this particular forest mansion. don’t worry they have a ton of backups

remember last week when I said maybe AFO thinks explosions are gauche. well never mind. he fucking loves explosions

anyway so that’s the end of BnHA, everyone. hope you enjoyed. it was a good ride while it lasted. see you all, good luck in your travels

[cyndavilachase]

I’m Looking Forward Now 💖Thank you and good bye

So, it’s been a little over a week since Steven Universe Future ended… 

I’ve been hesitant to write this, honestly, but I’m tired of holding myself back from properly expressing myself in fear of appearing overly invested in the media I consume, even in private. Writing helps me organize my thoughts and feelings, and I feel like these thoughts in particular may resonate with many, so I want to share them. I want to talk about what Steven Universe has done for me personally, both as an artist, and as a person.

I’ve been around since the day the first episode of the original series aired. I actually remember when Steven Universe was just a logo on Wikipedia’s “List of Upcoming Cartoon Network Shows” list, back when I was a freshman in high school. It piqued my interest, but when commercials finally dropped for it, I thought it was going to be bad because of the way marketing handled introducing Steven as a likeable character. There was still something about it that made me want to give it a chance though, so I went online and watched the pilot before the first episode's release. I was hooked immediately. I knew I was going to love it, and I did. I fell so absolutely in love with Steven as a character, and the world that he and the gems lived in. I became obsessed. I was always so excited for new episodes to come out. Little did I know what else it would do for me as I went through my adolescence alongside it.

As the show progressed, it was evident that what I wanted out of a western animated childrens’ cartoon was finally coming into fruition: this show was becoming serialized. There was continuity, there was plot, there was character development-- it was getting deep. It was pushing the groundwork that Adventure Time laid out even further (thank you, Adventure Time).  

I will give credit where credit is due: earlier western childrens’ cartoons I grew up with like Hey Arnold, and Rugrats, among others, also touched on heavy topics, but Steven Universe was able to take similar ideas (and even more complex ones, concerning mental health and relationships) and expand on them outside of contained episodes and/or short arcs. These themes, which were a part of the show’s overarching story, spanned across its entirety. Continuity was rampant. 

What did this mean? It meant kids cartoons didn’t have to be silly and fun all the time and characters weren’t just actors playing a part in 11-minute skits. Steven and the gems would remember things that happened to them, and it affected them and how they would function and play a part in their story. This was a huge deal to me as a teenager. I always wanted the cartoons I grew up with featuring kid characters to feel more. In my own work, I often felt discouraged when combining a fun, cutesy western art style with themes as dark or layered as anime would cover. I always thought it had to be one or the other because an audience wouldn’t take a combination of the two seriously enough, based on discussions I had with classmates, friends, and online analysis I read at the time. Steven Universe proved to me otherwise. This show was opening the door for future cartoons exploring in-depth, adult concepts. I felt so seen as a kid, and was inspired to stick with what I love doing.

I was actually very worried about the show’s survival. It was in fact immensely underrated and the fandom was miniscule. Then in 2014, JailBreak dropped, and it’s popularity exploded. Part of it was because of the complex plot and the themes it was covering like I mentioned, but also because of its representation. 

I remember when fandom theorized that Garnet was a fusion due to grand, tragic reasons. Turns out, she’s simply a metaphor for a very loving w|w relationship. This was huge. I cannot stress how important it is that we continue to normalize healthy canon queer relationships in childens’ media, and Steven Universe finally was the first to do that proper. Introducing these themes offers the chance for a kid to sit there and ask themselves, “Why is this demonized by so many people?” I asked myself exactly that. Ruby and Sapphire were my cartoon LGBT rep. They were the first LGBT couple I ever ecstatically drew fanart of. I was dealing with a lot of internalized homophobia at the time, and they showed me that I was allowed to love women and feel normal about it. The process of overcoming this was a long one, but they played a part in my very first steps into becoming comfortable with my sexuality. I could go on and on about it’s representation in general-- how it breaks the mold when it comes to showcasing a diverse set of characters in design, in casting, and in breaking gender roles. It’s focus on love and empathy. Steven himself is a big boy, but he's the protagonist, and the show never once makes fun of his weight, or any other bigger characters for that matter. It wasn’t hard to see why the fandom had grown so large.

Fandom was always a joy for me. It was a hobby I picked up when I was in middle school, like many of us here did. I would always cater my experience to fun, and fun only. I only started getting more deeply involved in SU’s fandom when I had just turned into an adult. During the summer of 2016, between my first and second year of college, I drew for the show almost every day non-stop when the Summer of Steven event was going on and posted them online. This was a form of practice for me in order to become not just more comfortable with experimenting with my art, but also to meet new artists, make new friends, and learn to interact with strangers without fear. I dealt with a ton of anxiety when I was in high school. When I was a senior applying to art school for animation, I decided I was going to overcome that anxiety. I made plans to take baby steps to improve myself over the course of my 4 years of college. Joining the fandom, while unforeseen, was definitely a part of that process. I started feeling more confident in sharing my ideas, even if they were fan-made. I fell in love with storyboarding after that summer, when I took my first storyboarding class, and genuinely felt like I was actually getting somewhere with all of this. I remember finally coming to a point in my classes where I could pitch and not feel hopelessly insecure about it. I was opening up more to my friends and peers. 

But this process, unfortunately, came to a screeching halt. 

My life completely, utterly crumbled under me in the Fall of 2017 due to a series of blows in my personal life that happened in the span of just a couple weeks. My mental health and sense of identity were completely destroyed. All of that confidence I had worked for-- completely ruined. I was alone. I nearly died. My stay at college was extended to 4 and half years, instead of the 4 I had intended. I lost my love for animation-- making it, and watching it. I could no longer watch Steven Universe with the same love I had for it beforehand. It’s a terrible thing, trying to give your attention to something you don’t love anymore, and wanting so desperately to love again. I dropped so many things I loved in my life, including the fandom.

Healing was a long and complicated road. I continued to watch the show all the way up until Change Your Mind aired in the beginning of 2019, and while I still felt empty, that was definitely a turning point for me with it’s encapsulation of self-love. I was hoping James Baxter would get to work on Steven Universe since he guest-animated on Adventure Time, and it was incredible seeing that wish actually come true. The movie came out and while I enjoyed it and thought highly of it, I was still having issues letting myself genuinely love things again, old and new. It was especially difficult because cartoons were my solace as a kid, when things got rough at home. I remember feeling sad because the show ended, and not getting the chance to love it again like I used to while it was still going.

By the time Steven Universe Future was announced, I was finally coming around. I was genuinely starting to feel excitement for art and animation again. I wasn’t expecting there to be a whole new epilogue series, but happily ever after, there we were! Prickly Pear aired, and the implications it left in terms of where the story was going did it. I was finally ready to let myself take the dive back into fandom in January of this year. My art blew up, something I wasn’t expecting considering my 2-year hiatus. Following this, I was invited into a discord server containing some of the biggest writers, artists, editors, and analysts in the fandom. I had no idea there were so many talented people in the fandom, some already with degrees, some getting their degrees-- creating stuff for it on the side just for fun. The amount of passion and productivity level here is insane, and so is the amount of discussion that has come out of it.

I didn’t realize it at first, but it was actually helping me gain back the courage to share ideas. I lost my confidence in pitching while I was taking the time to heal, and graduating meant there would no longer be a classroom setting I could practice in. This group helped immensely. 

I have made so many friends through this wonderful series, and I have so many fond memories talking to like-minded creatives, getting feedback and a myriad of sources for inspiration, as well as all of the memes and jokes and weekly theorizations that came about as we all waited on the edges of our seats for episodes to air. I needed this so badly, I needed to get back in touch with my roots, when I would go absolutely hog-wild over a cartoon I loved with people who loved it as much I did. Future has been a blessing for me in this way. I graduated feeling like I was back at square-one, but now I feel like I’m on my way again.

It’s 2020 and while I’m doing great right now, I am honestly still recovering from the total exhaustion that followed after graduating a few months ago, and finally leaving the campus where my life fell apart behind. Needless to say, watching Future was like looking into a mirror. Watching one of my favorite characters of all time-- one that grew up with me-- go through so many of the same things I went through not too long ago was absolutely insane to watch unfold. It’s such an important thing too, to show a character go through the process of breaking down over trauma and all the nasty things that come with it, and to have them go on the road to healing. Steven got that therapy. He wasn’t blamed. The gems were called out. The finale was everything I could have ever hoped for. The catharsis I experienced watching it was out of this world.

As I continue my own healing journey, I will always look up to the storyboard artists, revisionists, and designers that I have been following over these past 7 years, as well as the new ones introduced in Future. It's been such a joy watching these artists release their promo art for episodes, talk about their experiences working on the show, and post the work they've done for it alongside episodes airing.

Thank you Rebecca Sugar, the Crewniverse, and the fans, for making this such a truly wonderful and unique experience. Thank you for reminding me that I am, and always will be, an artist, a cartoonist, and a fan. Thank you, my followers, for the overwhelmingly positive response to my artwork. I have had so much fun interacting and discussing the show with you all again over these past few months. Steven Universe and it’s fandom will always have a special place in my heart, and it will always be a classic that I will return to for comfort and inspiration for decades to come. I am sad that the cartoon renaissance is over, but so many doors have been opened thanks to this show. I am so, so excited to see what this show will inspire in the future, and I hope one day I get the opportunity to be a part of that. 

Goodbye Steven, thank you for everything. I wish you healing, and I wish Rebecca and the team a well-deserved rest. ♥️

-Cynthia D.

[faelapis]

i wanna talk about characters having “writer clairvoyance,” to borrow a term from lindsay ellis, and how it doesn’t make characters smarter.

one of the most common complaints about... pretty much any piece of media, is that the characters aren’t smart enough. this is often literal, people want the characters to be adequately intelligent and observant to answer their most burning questions, to explain plot points you think bears questioning.

but like... there is such a thing as doing that too much. if people acted irl on the level of writer clairvoyance hyper-awareness some want fictional characters to act, you couldn't walk out the door without someone being like "hang on... why are you carrying a bag? i've never seen you carry that bag before :/"

 let's say you were a fictional character, and something WAS up with the bag. there's a plot-relevant ancient scroll in it which will let any wish you make come true or whatever. 

if you’re the type to care about realism - the vast majority of people irl would not question you carrying a bag. the audience screaming that someone needs to ask about the bag or take it from the protagonist to find the secret scroll? that's because you, the audience, already know about the scroll. 

you have access to information about what’s suspicious or bears questioning - the characters don’t. you screaming that it’s “so obvious” or how “stupid” the characters are doesn’t always mean unrealistic writing. unless the character is acting comically suspicious, there's no reason anyone would think to ask about every little thing. they’re busy living in the world, not solving it.

therefore, as a general rule, i think the reason characters ask questions is more important than asking “enough” questions to satisfy an audience who are approaching this as a mystery to be solved, which the characters aren’t.

also - sometimes, even if a character doesn’t know something, and are aware that they don’t know it... that doesn’t mean every question is worth asking. 

it all comes back to character motivation. not just if they know that there’s something to question here, but do they CARE? is this something the character actually wants to know, or just the audience?

there could also be other factors obstructing a well-placed question. like whether they have know the right person to ask, and feel like the person will answer it.

i’m going to take steven from SU as an example here, because i have seen a couple people acting like he’s this silly naive boy who doesn’t question anything.

number one: he does. quite a lot, actually! 

they’re just questions that make sense to his character - he cares about the questions, and have enough information to ask them - instead of questions only those with 4th wall writer clairvoyance would ask. 

for instance, steven (above) asks the crystal gems to confirm whether his mom shattered pink diamond, because this is something deeply upsetting to him - he wants it not to be true. he wants to believe in a perfect mother idol he can live up to. he questions lapis taking the tower, because he doesn’t think gems should fight each other. he asks bismuth to watch garnet, because he’s naturally worried about her in her current state.

steven tends to ask why people are doing things he thinks are bad, because he wants to believe in them. again, caring about something is paramount to asking. a bunch of random weird magical stuff around him happening, is often as mundane to him as the bag example. he’s used to being weirded out and traumatized, as well as not knowing things. so he’s not gonna question every time a monster shows up. sometimes, he’s just “used” to stuff that the audience thinks he isn’t, because they see him first and foremost as a child.

as in some of the gifs above, steven questioning things can also be subtle - quick moments where his expression shows that he feels or realizes something is wrong, not always as literal questions. in these gifs, he questions what he thought he knew about pink’s shattering, and the surface-level utopian nature of the zoo.

also, there are times when you can tell steven is too frustrated to ask a question, or knows it won’t be answered. this is a big thing in episodes like “steven’s dream” and “lion 4,” where he knows the gems will keep hiding things from him, so he essentially says f you and seeks answers on his own. 

and... he has every reason to think that! there are plenty of instances where the gems chastise steven for wanting to be involved in gem stuff, especially early in the show. on the emotional side, them hiding things insults him, and so, he starts to go behind their backs, against their wishes, and to seek other authorities.

a big theme in a show like SU is also that there is no authority who has the answer to everything, even when you wish there was. 

i think a real issue here is that the audience is frustrated they don’t get to know everything... but the characters don’t either. they just know their own perspective, which is inherently flawed. that is a sublime writing style - a lot of stuff is just implied, perhaps only to be guessed or assumed from the soft worldbuilding, because the world is “bigger” than the characters. this is generally well-done and consistent. it’s thematically sound, how there are no true experts who know everything, or know to question everything in this sassy, ooc way.

personally, i also think it often is better writing to limit a character’s questions, because it shows awareness of the difference between what the audience vs characters know, and their motivations. i think emotion should precede it (and yes, sometimes, characters are too emotionally distraught to notice every little thing, this is normal and doesn’t indicate bad writing.)

it also often just makes for lazy media criticism - well i can think of something the character (living in the moment, stressed out of their mind, trying to survive) should ask, so it’s bad writing that they don’t!

...i’m gonna go ahead and say it would be bad writing if they questioned everything, regardless of motivation, relationships, human flaws, and emotion. 

also, having a character actively ignore their emotions and act like a logicbro is often a defense mechanism to hide how afraid they are of being wrong. ahem.

personally, i can think of more examples of the opposite of “not questioning enough” - the character asks something, or is questioning something in an overbearingly sassy way, and i have no idea why. it seems to just be so the writer can show off how “smart” they are for being right, even if they don’t have a real reason to reach the conclusions that they do. or to be "self-aware,” like making a “wtf, that doesn’t make sense!” 4th wall breaking joke with no subtlety.

i’m guessing a big reason i’ve seen this complaint several times with steven now is that i think the “norm” in cartoons, especially ones with a certain “witty” humor, is leaning towards being too sassy and questioning, beyond what a normal person would ask. this is a big issue with shows like gravity falls and atla - characters will ask things just to show off how smart they are, just for the writer to vent about something they want to question, to ask about plot only the audience would ask about, or just to set up an answer. they often ignore the flow of a scene, or the emotion, because the characters don’t “really” live in the world. they just exist to be sassy / “intelligent.”

often, i’m frustrated that there’s no organic motivation behind a given question, and they’re oft asked far too conveniently - “okay, the shittiest parts of our audience wants to be handheld, lest they call something a plot hole... so we need a scene where a character says ‘x doesn’t make sense!’, so then we can have another character explain why the plot is good, actually.”

so that’s my little rant for today. there are certainly times where something should be questioned and the characters in a given piece of media don’t... but i also think a lot of the time, the audience just has generalized frustrations when they don’t like a show, and are looking for any way to express that. they want to intellectualize it, so they’re grasping for a way to vent about how stupid they think the characters are.

[apollostears]

boyfriend | k. bakugo

anime: my hero academia

pairing: katsuki bakugo x black!reader

creator: maya

warning(s): swearing

headcanons on bakugo as your boyfriend. it’s a sfw vrs. there will probably be a standalone nsfw vrs. coming out soon. xx also these were not supposed to be this long💀

* photo not mine*

bakugo was not someone you really associated with.

when you first transferred, you acknowledged his presence and thought he was mighty fine, but then he opened his mouth and you were like 🤨

dealing with him takes a lot of energy and it was not energy you were willing to spend, so you kinda just avoided him.

but as usual, niggas can’t keep they mouth shut, and it wasn’t long until you had ended up on his radar.

it was after a sparring session, your first official one with the class, and that’s when he got to see you in action.

after seeing you fight, mans was hella intrigued by you.

when you first came, bakugo didn’t understand what made you special enough to join the hero course.

and since you didn’t talk to him, he didn’t bother you.

until you made your official debut and he was 🤩😯🤯

that made him want to fight you, to see who was stronger seeing as he officially saw you as a worthy opponent.

so long story short, he quickly found out why it was best to leave you alone.

by no means were you scared of him, but he didn’t know that and when he started fucking with you, all bets were off.

bakugo literally had no idea what he was getting into and he was not prepared for the moment you dished his shit right back to him.

japanese was still a little difficult for you, as you had a tendency to forget some words, but you understood and spoke it well for the most part.

and when you were hype about something, both english and japanese words would be flying out your mouth.

after he, and the rest of the class, experienced your semi-irritated side first hand, bakugo was definitely hooked.

it was like a moth being drawn to a flame, he would not leave you alone.

he would try to be subtle about it, but to you and everyone else who knew him (i.e. izuku and kiri) they knew that he had a crush.

y’all were literally day n’ night. most of the time you would be minding yo business and then here he would come, talking shit.

eventually, that changed and y’all were just talking shit just to talk shit.

atp, everybody either wanted y’all to fight or to fuck.

so how did y’all start talking??

easy. with a little game of spin the bottle: 7 minutes in heaven style.

both you and bakugo were competitive and not one to back down from a challenge.

so when the bottle landed on him, kiri knew exactly what to do to push his friend into confessing his feelings.

he said that bakugo would be too pussy to kiss you.

my god did that work.

after mina also betted against your ability to carry out the task at hand, the two of you went into the closet to prove your classmates wrong.

because you guys are psycho’s, y’all went in there angry af at each other to mask the obvious embarrassment you both were feeling.

“you’re such a fucking dumbass” you cursed, arms crossed and a glare on your face.

bakugo scoffed and mocked your stance. “me? says the one who landed on me, shithead.”

you rolled your eyes. “ain’t nobody told yo bobble headed looking ass to sit there.”

cue bakugo looking shook af because he knows he did not just hear you call him a bobble head.

after that, all bets were off.

“you know what, you got a lot of fucking mouth.”

you smirked, knowing full well he was right and that he just couldn’t handle you. “sure do. what the hell you gonna do about it?”

at the time, neither of you would realize it, but y’all were most definitely horny af.

bakugo, now closer to you and his arms uncrossed, held a devious glint in his eyes.

“let me show you.”

and BOOM! y’all was kissing.

like...KISSING!!

it was a little rough at first, with you in shock and bakugo kissing you like a rabid dog.

but once y’all got that rhythm, y’all GOT that rhythm.

the kiss was aggressive passion. like feelings of bottled up desire lit on fire (bars 🔥)

homie did a little boom boom pow on yo ass with his firecracker hands when he was caressing yo shit and that was a top tier move right there.

y’all were definitely in that closet for more than seven minutes until iida came and broke y’all up.

after that, you guys were somewhat dating.

neither of y’all wanted to admit the feelings you had for one another, so you guys just did relationship shit without the label.

kissing in private was a big one because hormones. sometimes y’all would hold hands or cuddle, but v rarely.

bakugo would always carry your bag during school and he’d also carry your lunch tray. not that you asked but he’s such a manly man that he had to do it for the sake of his ego.

instead of holding hands, you guys would link arms and you would lightly press into him. bakugo highkey liked that shit but wouldn’t tell you.

eventually, you guys escalated to seeing each other at night for longer periods and that turned into you spending the night in his room for the first time.

it was also the first time you guys cuddled frfr and bakugo ate. that. shit. UP!!

but because he’s a shy baby, he began to distance himself from you and that made you hurt ngl.

so, figuring that y’all were ‘done’ you did you and hung out with other people.

one of those people was todoroki. the two of you had a platonic relationship, but a strong bond and when bakugo caught y’all akikik’ing, he ain’t like that shit.

that was the reason why he had asked you out rather aggressively in the common area on a thursday afternoon.

once you guys had officially established your relationship, it was like nothing ever happened. he was still carrying yo shit and kissing you in private, but the vibes were different.

the two of you were more gentle to each other.

more loving.

he was still an asshole and you as well, but in an endearing way. bakugo became more open to loving you and more open to claiming you.

he would mainly call you ‘his girl’ or ‘his person’ (you let him watch GA one time and that was the outcome) when referring to you in person to someone else.

gone with your actual name and in were those nicknames. you’d call him ‘su’ ‘katsu’ ‘suki’ ‘honey’ (if you want something) and ‘baby’

bakugo would crucify you if you called him by his real name and vice versa.

your man is a lowkey spoiler. meaning, he spoils you on the low low and in a very subtle way. you don’t really like people buying you stuff nor are you the type to ask anyone for anything, so bakugo does what he needs to do without your permission.

he doesn’t make a big deal about it, but whenever it’s your time of the month and you feel extra shitty, he dials back on being an asshole a bit. or he’ll use his palms and pop little firecrackers on your stomach/lower back to help with cramps.

if you wearing his clothes helps (even if it actually doesn’t and you just say that just to get them) he’ll let you wear his stuff, no problem. he tried to get them back once when you were done but you almost bit his hand off so that didn’t work.

he hates whiners, but he loves when you whine for him. whether it’s for attention or for cuddles or kisses, he lives for it because period you is the only time he’s gonna see that shit. once you’ve figured out that you can get away with mostly everything if you whine, you start doing it a little more when you’re off your period.

besides being on your cycle and taking care of you, bakugo does little acts of service for you as well.

being black in a country that is predominantly not black, is hard and finding hairdressers is even harder.

somehow, with the help of his mom, bakugo was able to find a hairstylist that would do well when doing your hair and that was one of your favorite surprises from him.

like you deadass shed some tears and he was highkey confused but proud because he’s that nigga.

best believe he goes with you to every appointment just to make sure she don’t fuck shit up with his baby’s hair. he don’t got time to watch you cry and commit a crime.

as we all know, mans can cook. you love his food but he (and class 1-A) is absolutely feral for yours. anytime you cook, whether it’s soul food or any other type that you learned to make, he falls in love all over again.

since you love his food, sometimes he’ll make you some meals or snacks. especially if you’re stressed or sad.

this actually turned into him cooking for you + bakusqaud cause they complained about how he never cooked for them. then it turned into him being one of the cooks for the class when you guys alternate cook days.

he was pissed about it but was a little excited to A) woo his classmates and B) make sure they get the right nutrients to be strong and worthy heroes.

bakugo cares okay...

anyways...dates for y’all are planned out when bakugo takes you out, but if you take him out? he never knows what to expect.

once, y’all went to a zoo but it was a petting zoo and bakugo bought lost his shit when the sheep came up to him for food. you definitely have pictures of him angrily riding one of the adult horses.

and he totally rode the bull to prove a point. he won and you unlocked a brand new fantasy.

y’all are so in sync, it’s fucking insane.

there was one time where someone had said some slick shit to you, bakugo was not around, and somehow this man had popped up hella quick like his spidey seneses was tingling, to put that person in they place.

you were like 😦🤪

another time is when you both do/act similarly. bakugo can be v chill and reserved and sometimes you are the same way. the entire day, y’all move as if you’re one.

and honestly, bakugo loves the idea of you being a female version of him. it makes him so proud to see you act like him.

but don’t get it twisted, mans definitely acts like you too. he’s picked up a lot of terms that you use and he uses them like it’s natural.

not too much and not too little, but just enough that it fits and has the right impact everytime.

now, onto the more softer shit

i don’t see bakugo as being the type to automatically share his deepest, darkest secrets with you. nor is he the type to be openly vulnerable.

you weren’t the type either and two hard-ass people were not going to make a healthy relationship. but....shit changes.

the first time you guys saw each other’s vulnerability was when the attack against the camp happened. y’all were only dating for four months, but had started to form a bond.

you weren’t there when he was taken, having to be forced to stay in the classroom with the others. you were unbelievably worried when it was announced that bakugo was the target of this attack.

you tried not to worry because bakugo can take care of himself, but he shouldn’t have to. and after waiting for what felt like hours, you found out that they had taken him.

you didn’t remember collapsing on the floor and crying your eyes out with kirishima comforting you. every moment up until you and the others had went to rescue him, were a blur.

after you guys had got him back and after all might’s fight with all for one, you broke down again and gave bakugo a bone crushing hug.

“i’m so sorry.” you had whispered, that being the only thing able to come out of your quivering lips.

the others had continued to walk ahead to give you guys some space, but you figured bakugo didn’t want to talk since he didn’t hug you back. just as you had went to remove yourself from him, he had wrapped his arms around you in a tight embrace.

“don’t be sorry shithead. okay? don’t be sorry.”

his voice was muffled a bit from his lips being on your shoulded, but you heard him and a short sob escaped your lips at the fact that he was comforting you when you should be comforting him.

but your hug was enough comfort as it allowed the boy to feel safe since getting taken and he had shed a few small tears.

after that, things were different. bakugo wouldn’t tell you, but you knew that things were different. he was more aggressive and driven to be the best, but he moved as if he had a weight on his shoulders.

you didn’t know it then, but it was guilt. guilt because all might lost his powers trying to save him because he wasn’t strong enough to get away. after finding that out, you reprimanded him so hard (lovingly).

he needed to know that he was strong but that what happened with all might had nothing to do with him. and after you all got your provisional licenses, but he didn’t? that’s when he really broke.

it hurt you to see him this upset and you knew then that you would do everything in your power to prevent him from ever feeling like that, again.

you guys really grew closer those two months. at that point, y’all really were inseparable.

okaaa out of the sad shit!

he pushes you at the same amount he pushes himself. bakugo wants you to be successful and he knows that you do as well. your ambition almost the same as his, if not higher.

you guys train together a lot after hours. most of the time kirishima joins in and that leads the rest of bakusqaud to do the same.

anything that you ask him to do, bakugo will do it. mans is so whipped for you!!

you get him to do sheet masks with you every other night. and you’ve got him on a skincare routine that was good at first, but now bad for you. because when you wanna be lazy, bakugo will scold tf outta you before you give him the pouty face. at that point, he’s washing your face for you and wrapping your hair up as you fall asleep in his arms. 🥺

bakugo is definitely on your ass about your hair. especially if he paid for it? oh yeah baby, you keepin that shit in til he sees it getting raggedy. but he actually loves being apart pf your wash day routine.

you didn’t have to teach him, he just observed you and one day, when your arms were getting tired, he casually swooped in with a kiss of his teeth and did your hair.

you absolutely went to sleep and the sight alone caused bakugo’s heart to melt. that was one of the times he knew that he loved you.

speaking of love, there were several times bakugo knew that he loved you but he didn’t say it.

he knew that he loved you when you made him breakfast one morning over the summer, during the time he was working himself in the ground to get his provisional license. the bright smile on your face gave him energy despite being drained. that was one time he knew.

the second time was when you had met his mom. y’all were dating for seven months at the time and you really wanted to meet his parents. so, with a permanent scowl on his face, he took you and it was something.

“oh suki look at you!!! you were such a smiley baby!! why you so grumpy now?!” you cooed, gushing over the baby picture of him at ten months.

bakugo frowned, sitting across from you with his dad on the other side of him. “i’m not grumpy.” he gritted out, looking like a complete grump.

“he wasn’t always this way. katsu used to be a very happy baby. you wanna see him at his second birthday? oh it was so cute!” mitsuki exclaimed, flipping the pages in the book to get to where she needed.

seeing you bond so well with his mom made bakugo feel some type of way. despite their dynamics, he respected his mom and definitely held her in a high regard. that was the second time.

and the third time was on your one year anniversary.

it was something simple seeing as you had started your period that same day and were feeling like absolute shit. you felt so bad for being the reason why you guys had to stay in, but bakugo wouldn’t hear it.

“but suki we could go out and sit on the roof!” you whined while simultaneously curling into him for comfort.

just from that action alone, he knew you wouldn’t have the strength to actually move around just to go on the rooftop. your body was hurting and you felt like you could die, no way were you moving.

“relax princess. no need to get your blood rushing anymore than it already is.” bakugo teased, a knowing smirk on his lips.

with squinted eyes, you pinched the skin on his ribs causing him to flinch away from you. “fuck you katsuki.”

“love you shithead.”

*record scratch, pause* wait what?!

bakugo looked calm af but on the inside, mans was wilding. he deadass couldn’t believe he said that shit. like who tf?

you had a look of surprise and awe on your face. completely taken aback by his abrupt confession that you couldn’t really process it.

but you definitely felt it.

with a smile and kiss on his cheek, you drew even closer to bakugo and nuzzled into his side. “love you more suki.”

yeah...he definitely loved you

*join our taglist:* @sweeneyblue1 @knjkitten @simplyskz-maya

[chicoriii]

Season 4, Episode 4 - Mr Pigeon 72

I have no idea where to start. This episode has some good things and some extremely stupid.

Marinette isn't still completely fine, but I prefer when she deals with it through being hyperactive than being a whining crybaby.

I know people don't agree with me, but personally I don't buy the whole revealing identity to Alya. It's not a problem with Alya herself, I would say the same about every single character who is not named Alix Kubdel at this point of the story. I haven't written anything in my post about Gang of Secrets, because I thought it would be undone in some way at the start of the next episode. The creators did nothing to explain why revealing identity of Ladybug to anyone was super dangerous and would result in a catastrophe in seasons 1-3 and the first two episodes of S4, but it's magically fine in episode 3. Only Alix made sense to me, as she will be the rabbit Miraculous holder, so she is destined to discover identities of everyone sooner or later and Marinette is aware of that. While it's not necessary to learn identity of anyone to other temporary Miraculous wielders, including Alya. Also that reveal hasn't been foreshadowed in season 3, while the show usually does it, especially if it's about something as important as that! More, in late S3, it's been shown that Alya still can't resist to not talking about Marinette's love life with Nino, despite she asked her to not do it. Now the girl, who is overly excited about superhero stuff, has no problems with even accidental revealing anything to Nino or someone else. She's even "stealing" Bunnix line that she's great at keeping secrets (sorry but you, the creators, haven't shown us that she's indeed is before!). This is why I think that reveal hasn't been planned before they started writing season 4.

But okay, I can deal with it, even if I don't buy it, but things these happened in Mr. Pigeon 72 are even more inconsistent with previous seasons. I have been worried about it, so it doesn't surprised me. For some reason Guardian related-things that have been kept in a secret before from everyone minus current Guardian and the future Guardian, are now fine being done in front of Kwamis (remember, they haven't been allowed to learn about making potions before!) and a civilian who is just a temporal Miraculous holder, not someone who is supposed to be trained to be a new Guardian. You can say - new Guardian, new rules, but why? Marinette has been portrayed as someone who respect authorities, she has never questioned any Fu's rules. It wasn't even said in the episode that she's going to change the rules. I hate that the writers don't even bother to explain us what's going on. Probably they don't bother about consistency, they think the audience is going to be too excited about Alya knowing Ladybug's identity and helping Marinette to question anything about it? How Alya could be allowed to learn the Guardian secrets? She is just best friend of the protagonist, she is not one of the main characters to get that special treatment. I makes zero sense to me. Especially since Su-Han will be introduced in episode 6 and he should help Marinette with understanding the Grimoire, Alya isn't necessary here for any other reason than fanservice.

In my opinion the way how they discovering how to make charms that protects from akumasitation was the most stupid thing that happened this season and one of the most in the whole show. Marinette who is the new Guardiand and portrayed as someone extreme intelligent and creative couldn't find the solution for days, but Alya with zero training magically discovered it in a few hours at worst. And when she told her the solution in not even very clear way, Ladybug did it immediately with no effort. That was so anticlimactic. At least the animation was fine, but other aspects of it was just a big disappointment, and I was looking forward for it. Thank goodness it's just the beginning of the season, I hope later important events of the season will be better written and portrayed.

Also I find it absurd that Rena Rough is walking with a page from the Grimoire like it's just an ordinary book and she's talking about it in front of a random civilian, like things that are written there are nothing special. She or Ladybug are not careful about Miraculous lore anymore. Not to mention that they are giving hints that Rena is very close to Ladybug in public, suspiciously close. And now with them being too careless, that's not hard to suspect that Rena Rouge is someone very close to Ladybug, maybe even as a civilian. Shadow Moth knows Rena Rouge's identity, and it's easy to him to learn who is Alya Cesaire's best friend if he doesn't know it yet, after all his son is in the class with her. Marinette has always been super careful and serious about her duties before, why that sudden change with zero explanation? It's just very out of character to her in my opinion.

I didn't like the akuma battle either, it's now the worst fight of the season in my opinion. It was so short and felt very lazy. I only liked that Plagg got some action and interaction with Ladybug (though it should be suspicious for her that he managed to reach to her that fast). He should be aware now that Alya knows Ladybug's identity but he acts like nothing happened. Not a word about it being unfair towards his kid or something, weird.

Thankfully the rest of the episode is generally more or less fun to me. It was nice to see Marinette and Kagami interacting again. I loved Kagami in the episode, although it was a bit weird to me that she isn't seemed to be affected by her breaking up with Adrien. Like her crush was very shallow, so she managed to recover herself from it very quickly. While it's been shown that Luka is hurt, despite Lukanette always seemed to be much more shallow than Adrigami in my opinion. But maybe it's because she's so down to earth, so being less emotional makes sense for her character. I liked how her attitude was opposite to Marinette's hyperactive: "No, I don't want to be in a relationship with Adrien again, he disappointed me, just let me live!!!". And she's another character who said that Marinette and Adrien are made for each other. I'm not surprised that Kagami sees it now when she tried to be with him and that didn't work. She's observant, sees more than many other characters. It seems she's an Adrienette shipper now. It's also good that her issue with Adrien wasn't resolved that easily and too fast. They need more time, but I'm sure they will be friends again.

So, we've gotten shirtless Adrien. I remember seeing a tweet of Thomas in which he answered to a question if there will be a beach episode and he said we will get something similar. I wonder if he meant this episode. Oh, they just remembered that Adrien is supposed to be allergic to feathers. It seems Adrien has allergic reactions only when it's somewhat related to the plot. When it's not, he's completely fine.

The reference to the famous Umbrella Scene™ out of nowhere in a random episode? It probably means something. I can see "reverse crush" supporters interpreting it as a proof to their theory, especially since this time Adrien did something clumsy and Marinette is laughing because of it (actually both of them). Or maybe because it's the first episode of season 4 with Marinette and Adrien interactions, they decided to be that much gracious for Adrienette fans, to compensate lack of it in the first three episodes. Oh wow, Marinette managed to propose spending more time together to Adrien without stuttering. Probably because she has done it spontaneously. Marinette is the most nervous when she's planning and thinking what could go wrong too much. This time she had no time to it, so it went more smoothly. It's like they building development of their relationship, but it didn't seem in Guiltrip (that's episode 11 chronologically) that something changed.

Seeing screenshot above, you can easily imagine how great friends they could be, being very comfortable around each other and laughing together, if not Marinette's anxiety. We need Adrienette development so much to get more moments like this.

Oh and I just realized that it's also one of the veeeeery few episodes with no real Ladynoir at all (the only other one I remember is Style Queen). So if there was no Adrienette it would be an episode without interactions of two main characters at all (although we almost got Ladrien). It could be another reason why this episode is that nice for Adrien and Marinette ship.

After seeing overly excited Marinette dancing in the rain, I can't believe she can manage completely give up on Adrien. It doesn't look like this at all.

Also we've seen three photos of Adrien wearing THAT scarf. It could not mean nothing different that foreshadowing that he's going to discover the truth about it somewhere this season. But I have no idea what Ladybug's mask with shining eyes could mean.

I don't know what to think about the episode. Despite absurd Guardian-related things, I still liked it much more than Gang of Secrets, but I have no idea if I generally enjoyed it more than other episodes of this season or not. At least it's an episode without stupid drama, which is amazing.

---------

I'm currently less active on social media, because my internet connection is very unstable, it often works very slowly to the point I'm not patient enough to visit Tumblr. Also I block spoiler tags again, because I don't want to see spoilers from the episodes those are going to be released very soon, as I feel that they reveal too much to me once more. We're currently in a marathon of the new episodes and since watching them is the more more enjoyable, the less I know about them, I decided to try avoid spoilers as much as I can. The only bad thing is that I can't be read discussions about the new episodes, reblog them and adding something from me until Optigami will be aired.

[weaselbeaselpants]

I have a lot to say and not enough time to say it. It hurts, but ya’ll know what this is about so if you want my full fandom retrospective opinion thing guys, here.

I’ve been following Vivienne’s art and career since I found her on dA in 2009. I’ve basically grown up with her and have a wide range of opinions up and down her collective work. I must stress that I do not know her as a person and no matter how critical I get in my personal time if I somehow met her in real life or converse with her online again (like, back in the day we went back and forth. She was pretty nice to me), I’d be humble and congratulate her for her success.

Critique does not, EVER equate to attacking people.

But

the reason I don’t call myself a VivziePopVivzmind-fan is the exact same as to why I don’t like the proud use of ‘anti’. Let me try and explain -

The vast majority of Viv fans are just that: fans. Viv’s one of their favorite artists and they’re happy for her and obviously defensive when some mouth breather pops into their fan discussion calling her and all of them trash. Quite a lot of the Hazbin fans I know in my circle of friends are all pretty accepting and agree on the problematic notions and implications of her work.

HOWEVER, there’s a vocal minority in the VivziePop fandom that were and still are toxic. Their specific interest in Viv back in the day was toxic...and now that she’s moved on into a successful career I doubt they’ve gone away, considering the things I’ve heard. These people - they’d flood Viv’s comments sections and stuff with messages like they were talking to her when they weren’t and they’d unironically call her a god in a way that feels like gaslighting, ex: “I’ll NEVER be as good as you Viv! My art is just sooooo unpopular oh god you are incredible no one will ever like you as much as meeeee”. It made me uncomfortable. It made me not want to be around her because these people took Viv’s role in their lives so seriously and their demand for her attention...it struck a nerve.

These same fans have been around long enough to see actual shitlords - the likes of Kiwifarms and tapatalk wikis - come in and actually harass Viv. Viv’s been sent revenge porn by sick freaks who think they’re funny and believe she deserves it. No. In my non-name fan bystander opinion, Viv’s got some shit to work on, but no one deserves raperevenge porn. EVER. It was genuinely bad and yes Viv and her base have every reason to NOT TRUST these communities. Unfortunately, when these incidents happened, these particular fans took it upon themselves to gatekeep the fandom and act like Viv’s unofficial guard against any kind of decenting opinion of her, all without her say so.

((to the critics who will be all “but Viv or Faust said THIS to their fans-”, like I said, Viv’s far from perfect but regardless of how much she prolly wanted people to side with her I’m gonna guess that she didn’t want people sending transphobic death threats to DollCreep. Again, and this is coming from a bystander here, I have a feeling Viv knows about some of the toxicity but doesn’t know how/want to address it - which is a conversation all it’s own.))

This particular breed of VivziePop “fan” holds so much toxicity in her fandom(s). They aren’t the only cause, but they’re there. They feel entitled to her attention and her approval. They creep me out. Having spoken to other much-less critical admitted fans of Viv around me, these fans appear to creep everyone else out and put the rest of the fandom on edge. They’re gatekeepers. They’re creeps. Like the bronies and SU fans of yestertodayyears, they know harassment exists and that people have crossed the line - so they think any means is necessary to prevent that is automatically good. I could pile together all the incidents and folks who’ve had bad runs ins with this aftershock of Viv-obsession, but I do have a life of my own and this post is already stupid long so I’ll just list out the biggest examples and provide receipts when asked.

Critical blogs have gotten RAPE and death threats because they don’t like Viv’s art. HonestZoophobiaCriticisms, a blog I interracted with back in the day, def got one. Now Viv’s opinion of crit-blogs is that they’re “bad takes” but I can assure you she doesn’t want that shit being said on her behalf.

I’ve seen young artists get blacklisted from sites and forums cause they so much as post a redesign. Viv and co get told through the grapevine that someone’s making hatespeech and so preemptively block said person (prolly cause they’re in the middle of WORKING and can’t deal right now) only to find out after the fact that no, it was just a kid drawing their version of her characters. There’s serious miscommunication issues within the fandom about who’s ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and once you get the actual staff involved in this game of telephone you’re begging for trouble. The problem acknowledged, however, it’s souly from the “Viv never did anything wrong camp”. No word is said about how ugly the fandom is under the surface it’s all one type of person’s fault and not complicated’. Blah

I’ve only ever had ONE obsessive ‘fan’ who’d stalk me, mock me, and then redraw my art just to get attention from me. That shit fucked with my head. As a follower hundreds of miles away from Viv who’s agreed/disagreed with her through the years - I absolutely believe her when she says she hates ‘creeps’ and that she doesn’t want anyone in her fandom spreading hate on her behalf. It’s the one thing about her I’m POSITIVELY sure of. Whether she believes that said underlying harassment exists and/or is even a problem within her fandoms is anyone’s guess. That’s not what I’m here for. I’m here to write stupid blog entries like this, talk about fandoms and media and how they and the real world affect one another, and rb fan art I like. I’m cautiously optimistic fan with a side of salt.

Mixed opinions and critique within a fandom CAN and SHOULD exist. Hazbin Hotel has been greenlit by a studio! It has a product line of merchandise you buy. Helluva Boss is getting eight more episodes this coming year (yeeee:3yeeee). Two of Viv’s properties are now products. Nothing is immune from critique. And in critique you will find a lot of people who are not ‘nice’. Critique or analysis doesn’t have to be nice. There will be, in Viv’s words’ ‘bad takes’ on her writing. Maybe they will be actual CinemaSins-styled bad takes or maybe Viv is just mad that people don’t love and feel inspired by her characters the way she wants them to - it’s a fact she’s going to have to get used to.

((TBH, I’m pretty sure she’s already realized that criticism of all types need to exist. It’s just that, again, her and the SpindleHorse staff are kind of overwhelmed by all matter of takes and opinions coming their way they kinda can’t deal weeding out the fair ones from the assholes, so she lumps them all together.))

Shitposters, ironic fans, unironic fans, critical fans, just critics of Hazbin and Helluva CAN and WILL exist. They should exist and not feel threatened by the megafandom. There are people out there who are one step further and rightfully bothered by Hazbin/Helluva’s use of incorrect symbols, portrayal of certain topics, and the response by creators. These people have strong opinions and are actually disgusted by Viv. They deserve to exist too and should not be vilified because, like me, they’re commentary doesn’t consist of anything personal towards the people at Spindlehorse or the fans of her works. They can rant, they can be professional, they can be petty and they can be fair. But they will exist. You have to deal with it.

I am an ADD/OCD ridden autistic woman with serious anxiety issues who has no one to talk to half the time and so only HAS my fandom to communicate with. But that’s just it - it’s a fandom. A community. You have to learn to not think souly of yourself and of others in a community. A fandom doesn’t exist just for you or any one person. You have the right to be angry and defend or be offended. And it’s in the spirit of that that I ask, prrraaaaaay even, that I please

NOT BE CALLED AN “ANTI-ANTI” for not liking the moniker?!

I DON’T TO BE AN “ANTI”. Not ironically, not unironically. ‘Anti’ should be for politics and shit like pedophiles, necrophiles, nazis, serial killer stans, Trump, racists, antisemites, terfs, animal abusers, rapists, and antivaxxers. Anti should only come into critical media analysis when these ethical issues follow suit IN TO fandom discussion. ((EX: Anime and MLP proudly waving their cp and non-con into the public eye; Hazbin appropriating cultural symbols which are not satanic; Basically anything that concerns John K or Butch Hartman.))

If your DNI list unironically consists of the entirety of one fandom:  CONGLATURATIONS! You have done the exact same thing these particular creepy Viv fans have done: monopolize the conversation. And yes, people I’m referring to, IT’S STILL A PROBLEM EVEN IF YOU’RE FIGHTING RACISM/SEXISM/HOMOTRANSPHOBIA.

There are hundreds of Vivziefans who ARE more critical, accepting of faults, interested in discussion and especially rewrite and redesign stuff who would LOVE to engage with you and give you a follow. There’s hundreds of people who no doubt agree with you!

But the thing I’ve seen these very proud AntiHazbinVivzieHelluvaWhatever blogs do is lash out at fans for continuing to like Viv and consume Viv’s art in a healthy way. What the actual fuck is your problem?

I get it. Say a crazy Hazbin fan gets on your case for even SUGGESTING Viv could be homophobic ((”SHE’SBIANDWORKSWITHGAYPPLblahablahblah”)). They get in your face, make some callouts, try to rile up support against you, leave disgusting harassment throughout your social media? Absolutely ban worthy. After that it’s perfectly understandable why you don’t want to engage with anything HHHBZPVivzierelated because you’re so fucking tired of being labeled an abuser or “just jealous” for having an opinion on a show you don’t like. I’m with you!

But,

A fan agrees that something in the canon is bad or that Viv did something they don’t like?

A fan likes your silly shitpost meme?

A fan asks if they can like Hazbin and follow you at the same time? 

A fan does fan art of something you don’t like?

If your response to any of these ^^^ things is to get LOUD and accusatory, Vivsplain them about how they’re an absolutely awful person to ever question YOUR opinion, or just block them without a second thought? You’re a petty, vendictive shit and you also need to learn to let things go. I’m sorry but you do. As I already said, Viv’s work is a brand at this point, not just the work of a singular person. As such, there are gonna be mixed opinions and you can’t judge every single one of these people by what they like. You’re a shitty critic with a shitty attitude and yes that will demean the value of what you’re saying. This is bad because, if you’re trying to point out how Angel Dust’s abuse IS handled terribly; gay rep in Viv’s work is weak and terrible; the show appropriates closed practices; the fandom makes excuses for predatory artists and creepy behavior and individuals who have sketchy pasts - I’M WITH YOU. WE NEED TO BE TALKING ABOUT THIS SHIT. JUST BECAUSE THESE ARE ADULT CARTOONS SET IN HELL MEANS THERE SHOULD BE ANYTHING CLOSE TO 2013 PONY-TUMBLR. <<<---- this shit is as important to me as it is to you and I really don’t like being called an abuser or apologist for saying “hey maybe blowing up at ppl for the shows they like ISN’T the way to go about this”. 

But I have, just like the good old days of 2015 Zoophobia of yore, been blocked because I admit to being tired of ‘Anti’ being equated to ‘critical’. Same with hater.

Critical DOES NOT = Anti+Hater. I’m fucking tired of people saying it does and I’m tired of people taking up the term as some weird form of fandom reappropriation. It’s stupid.

Tl;dr: Once upon a time, I was in a budding fandom for something I liked made by an indie artist I watched on dA. I wanted to be a bigger fan than I was already, but was told by toxic people within said fandom that I couldn’t be part of it for reasons they’d made up in their head about my ‘motives’ against Viv. My admiration for Viv or what I liked about Zoophobia didn’t matter because I thought the story was really rushed and people weren’t being truthful with how they really felt about it - ergo, I HAD TO GO. 

Flash forward 8 years later- My opinion of Viv’s body of work has changed but I still find myself in love with her style and some of her characters. I want to be on a forum or service that gives a healthy look at the problems there are with this series and fandom...and I’m met repeatedly by petty bs where people are again at each other’s throats. And yes, I do think it’s causing more harm than good especially when you insist there’s a “x person shouldn’t be trusted” mentality when fighting actual fucking racist, xenophobic, predatory bullshit.

[hext00ns]

please tell me everything you can about ok ko because i wanted to watch it when it was on tv but i never watch tv so i've only seen like two episodes

Okay okay there’s a lot I can’t tell you cause it might not look it on the cover but this is totally a show best experienced by going in blind

This show at its core really is about a boy named KO who wants to grow into an amazing hero. Honestly? I made the connection the other night but ok ko is basically western BNHA

This show definitely has the whole “friendship is magic” thing going and ik some people don’t like that trope but honestly? Ok ko does it best ngl. And just like SU the show doesn’t hold back from allowing its characters to have complex and real emotions

Much like many modern cartoons it’s a show that starts out with an episodic formula but slowly develops and underlining plot as secrets reveal throughout the show

Honestly? I think a reason why I love this show so much is cause it has the same vibe as an early 2000s CN cartoon (which imo is one of the best cartoon eras ever) like something about ok ko really does feel like the best aspects of early 2000s CN and modern CN mashed together into one show. Even my friends who watched only two episodes and honestly are way more into anime and aren’t cartoon freaks like me agree with that statement. I’ve been trying to figure out why I feel that way with the show and I have a couple ideas from story to animation to characters but either way the show is amazing

Speaking of animation it’s animation IS FANTASTIC I actually have seen people complain about SU and KO’s animation style before and honestly? I don’t get why. People have called it unprofessional looking and lazy but???? I think it’s beautiful????? Giving priority to the story board art instead of the model sheets gives it this amazing feeling that’s kinda hard to describe like everything movies with this flow that’s original to it alone. Obviously this style isn’t for every cartoon but I think it works beautifully for ok ko

ALSO THERES GAY SHIT!!!!!!!!! And like three cartoon crossover episodes!!!!!!!! Which are all amazing. And there’s so many references to other anime, videos game, cartoons ect that every episode I lose my mind

Also???? The world building is kinda fucking amazing as well?????? Like they never dive much into why the world is the way it is but honestly they don’t need to cause it all feels so well crafted and real

There are also a few running gags in the show that are a riot and the way everyone in the show says “sorry” is literally my favorite thing ever yesterday at work I said “sorry” the way ok ko does and I just sat there for a moment like did I fucking just say that

But I would be remiss if I didn’t talk about the ending. Obviously nothing spoilery but I think it’s important to warn for people going in blind. This show was cancelled. If I’m honest, having your show cancelled these days isn’t as hard on the show as it was in the past. Most the time these days the high ups will walk in, tell you you have only one season left to wrap things up, and leave you to it. That sucks. It sucks and I hate it so much. But it’s a lot better than the treatment other cartoons got in the past. Cartoons like Invader Zim and Shezow who were in the middle of working on their next season when they got the boot, leaving half finished products that will never truly see life like they were meant to. Or you get fucked the way Randy Cunningham did in where you set up an interesting cliffhanger but then are never green lit for the next season so you can resolve what you set up. It’s really sad because these days many creators talk about making sure seasons are condensed in their stories because they never know when their last season may be. Thankfully shows like Star vs, SU, and even ok ko were given one last season to do their best and wrap everything up that they could. Of course this is where many people that don’t do two seconds of research start making assumptions saying that it’s the writing staffs fault for endings being so rushed and that they’re bad at their job or some dumb shit like that which honestly makes me really mad cause these people don’t have a choice they don’t have a say in that kinda stuff. But they do their best with what they have. Ok KO’s end does feel kinda rushed but not as bad as say SU probably because SU just had so much world building and character stuff they had to cram into that final showdown. However ok ko does something I’ve never seen a cartoon do that was kinda brilliant? There’s this strange mix of I don’t like the ending of ok ko but also I do. I don’t like it cause I know it’s not how they wanted the ending to go I know there was so much more meant for this show and I’m so upset they didn’t get the chance to tell the story how they wanted to. But also the ending is beautiful the final two episodes made me cry for different reasons they really did take a bad thing and bring something good out of it. The final message they give in the last episode is a very good one and a very real to life one and I’m sure it’s what everyone in the crew was feeling at the time. It’s extremely melancholy

Honestly this was the fastest I’ve ever binged a show on my own before. I think it only took me two weeks or so and honestly if it wasn’t for work I probably would have gotten through it faster it’s just so good and hard to put down I often found myself staying up way past normal just to watch another episode

This has definitely become one of my all time favorites for many reasons honestly some you can see from above and some I didn’t mention. Either way I highly recommend this show it’s fun beautiful and full of heart and love

[softboyscully]

Public School Stuff I Wanted to Share

public school is both beautiful and horrifying am i right

so ill just go by the grades i guess

Kindergarten, first year

i did kindergartden at a catholic school in a relativly big city so this one’s got some shit

we went to church every wednesday, me and best friend (lost track of her when we moved, wish we’d stayed in touch, she was awesome) would giggle the whole time, pretty sure we made fun of jesus once, can’t remember why, possibly the hair

i had the nicest teacher, she was (as i remember her) young, blonde, and super sweet, that was the first and last year i ever had naptime

SPEAKING of naptime

i never slept during it

once i found what i remember being a nut of some sort on the ground, probably came off someone’s shoe

i grab it, turn to sarah (my best friend), say something about putting it up my nose

sarah, apparently having common sense, says, “no dont do it!! we’re supposed to be sleeping!!”

i put it up my fucking nose

try to get it out, just push it farther in

im crying a little bit now, that shit hurts

go up to my teacher

“you’re supposed to be asleep!”

“i have a nut up my nose and it wont come out”

teacher tries to get it out, but it wont budge

just. sends me back to my mat

that was it

the art room was tiny

like re-purposed broom closet tiny

there was a copy of the mona lisa in the hallway, someone had drawn ray bans on it with a pencil, never got replaced

there was a creepy-ass basement i went down to after school, we ate cheeseballs and sandwiches with some kind of meat, mayo, and that kinda yellow bread

someone broke his leg down there once, think an older kid threw him at the ceiling or something

we learned how to play Silver Bells with actual bells in music class

Kindergarten, second year

i remember these two teachers as the evil step sister-type look, but it might be my little kid imagination

but seriously they were horrible

we learned stuff in a room that was more middle-school styled, except everything was green or black and it was v dark

me and sarah attained a new friend, john

honestly i think we would’ve stayed friends for a while if i didnt move away

i have two vivid memories

one is of me really wanting to go home, so i walked by the teacher’s desk and did a fake sneeze

they laughed at me and told me to go sit back down

the other is  john leaning his chair back and then falling, so me and sarah went to help him back up

it was funny, so he did it again

and again

me and sarah were laughing, had the time of our lives

after the maybe fifth time the teachers said “john can get back up by himself. sit down and stay there.”

one of the reasons we moved was bc i got sent a letter from my fourth grade buddie

most of the words weren’t spelled correctly, many letters were backwards

my mother was horrified

ofc now we know it was probably a learning disability 

1st grade

this is when i moved

beginning of school i was ASTOUNDED we didnt have uniforms, one of the best things ever to happen to me

nothing wrong with this teacher, she was cool

thing is i was a little shit

told everyone my dogs died (they did but i was maybe three when it happened, i remember it not)

all my personal narratives were bullshit (only one sticks in my memory, wrote it about celebrating christmas AND hanukkah with my dad’s friends who were jewish, i have never even met those friends)

had a crush on this kid, best friend (she was terrible and helped wreck me emotionally) told me to kiss him in music class. me being a stupid ass bitch, i did it, aND HE GOES TO THE TEACHER AND CALLS ME OUT. at the end of class she gets both of us to stay for a bit, AND I DENYIED EVERYTHING. i walked across the fucking classroom, kissed him on the cheek, ran away giggling, told my teacher i didn’t do anything, AND GOT AWAY WITH IT. i’ve embarrassed myself further with this child but thats another story

2nd grade

i loved this teacher but honestly he was absolute shit

like. all he did was play the guitar and sing with us

never actually taught us stuff???

middle of the year, my mom goes in for a parent-teacher conference, he tells her i dont pay attention is math.

“what do you mean?”

“she doesn’t listen, she just takes out a book and starts reading.”

“........have you.... tried taking the book away?”

“sure, i could try that.”

“o....kay”

he also told her i’d be a girl who’d grow up to love spellcheck (which i do lmao)

like ???? why not just??? teach me to spell????

there was this one dude who one day showed up, gave me a pink stuffed cat, and then asked me where i lived

funniest thing was he lived on the same street as me

something that is vivid in my memory is showing up to class one day and realizing that i was wearing my regular clothes over my pajamas

also we had fish

every day someone else was in charge of feeding them

one of the times it was my job, i grab the fish food and walk over to the tank only to find all of the fish floating on the top

i screamed “THE FISH CAN FLY?!?!?!?!?!”

everyone ran over, all of us scarred for life when Mr. G walks over and goes in the most normal voice ever “no theyre dead”

we held a funeral

the cause of death is still undetermined

3rd grade

this year just draws a blank for me

all i know is that whoever the teacher was, they neglected to teach me how to tell time from a clock

also we learned the Cotten Eyed Joe dance in gym around here

4th grade

i had two teachers this year

one was the same one from 1st grade, the other one was a total bitch

made a girl named hannah ball her eyes out once, never apologized

i was (and am) and avid reader, so my reading skills were high above average

instead of being proud of me she told me i was weird, not normal, and too smart for a 4th grader, so i MUST be cheating. 

she was the start of a lot of self confidence issues for me ngl

this was around the time i went and got tested for ADHD (me and my grandmother almost broke down on the highway but thats another story), Mrs. M (the nice one) was super supportive when i told her why i was leaving early but Ms. S (bitch) told me ADHD wasn’t real and i just wanted to be special for once

she sucked, Ms. S

5th grade

this is getting super long so this’ll be the last one i do

but my teacher..... Mr. F was A+++++

he legitimately taught me math

we had i guess like,,, a buddie class we switched with sometimes

the teacher of that class was Mrs. R, who had crazy red hair and many freckles

at one point she referenced a meme and my entire class started screaming

also there was another Mrs. S (to differentiate this one will be called Mrs. Su)

she was kind of crazy

she was the astronomy teacher and she told us many times that the moon landing was faked

once she handed out sunscreen and had everyone put it on their whole body (this was in december, fyi)

Mr. F also hosted an ‘archeological dig’ which sounds cool but in reality he had a bunch of arcade prizes from his childhood buried in little flower pots we dug into with plastic spoons

also heres some stuff i cants pinpoint the time of/happened in multiple grades:

someone held a who-can-scream-the-most-like-a-goat contest

a guy named Makenzie won

remember we planned it while the teacher left the classroom so the teacher walks back in and one by one everyone in the room starts screaming, there was some applause, a few kids got a standing ovation

we cleaned out our desks in the middle of the year, i found 3 socks and a dog treat in mine

like how the fuck did any of those things get there

and where’s the fourth sock

b o t t l e f l i p p i n g

but no seriously there were at least five water bottles stuck in the ceiling in the cafeteria

my sorta friend charlie was obsessed with paper airplanes

one time he might’ve broken the world record for longest time in the air but he was counting in his head and it was at recess so there was no video

four square and gaga ball would be played no matter the setting, time, or conditions and it was super competitive

like if you could get to king in four square you got the everlasting respect of everyone

and everyone was super educated on four square special rules, special plays, that kinda shit

no but guys i grew up with bus stop, candy store, haunted house on mondays, haunted mansion on fridays, zombies was fair game unless it was Zach, Ryan, Chrissy or Vee

me and one other guy named andrew were the only known pjo fans, had the time of our LIVES making refrences

“HEY ANDREW IM NOBODY”

“I HAVE WAITED YEARS FOR YOU, NOBODY, COME HERE AND FACE YOUR DEATH”

“hey annabeth, i thought you looked like a princess when i first saw you. i printed out a picture you sent me casually and kept it with me. i snuck along on a quest so i could save you, endangering myself immensely. i held the sky for you. when you talk about your crush on luke, i get jealous. beckendorf understood, but hes dead.”

“ikr we’re literally the best of friends”

“RIGHT”  

also the first time we finished mark of athena we were in the same classroom and we individually dropped the book, stood up, looked at each other, and screamed “WELL FUCK YOU TOO RICK RIORDAN”

[holylulusworld]

The date

Summary: To get hold of Brock Rumlow, his nemesis Steve Rogers is not holding back. He will cross lines if he has to, even if this means to use Brock’s sister to take him down.

Pairing: Cop!Steve Rogers x Reader, Brock Rumlow x Sister!Reader, Sam Wilson, Nick Fury, Wanda Maximoff, Pietro Maximoff, mentions of Bucky Barnes

Warnings: angst, undercover work, investigations, shy reader, flirting, lies, mentions of abandonment, mentions of drug abuse, angry Sam

Love Undercover Masterlist 

“What shall I wear?” Standing in front of your drawer you don’t know which outfit you shall choose to go out with an attractive man like Steve. “I am bad at dating, Wanda…” Whining you look over your shoulder.

“Your clothes are a nightmare for any fashionista, but I’ll find something for sure.” Getting up, Wanda pats the head of kitty before she stands in front of your clothes, clueless.

“Wanda?”

“Shit, Y/N. Only shirts, jeans and sneakers are in there. Do you have a skirt or top?” Rummaging in your drawer your friend curses, not able to find anything wearable for a, as she would call it, hot date.

“I want to have a coffee, not seduce Steve, okay. I don’t think he’s that into me…” Rubbing your arm nervously you look at the only dress you own. “How about the blue dress? It’s new…”

“It’s old-fashioned, I mean old…” Wanda mutters but you like the dress. You found it at the flea market, it’s from the ’40s, hugs your curves and reminds you of the pictures of your grand-grand-mother.

“I like it! This is the nicest piece of clothing I own…” Getting the dress out you look into the mirror. “I like blue too…”

“Fine, it looks good on you, Babe. Let me find the matching make-up and maybe heels…” Now Wanda opens her huge duffle bag to get make-up, heels, and everything she will need out.

“Why do you have three pairs of heels and stuff in your bag?” Laughing you watch Wanda’s features darken.

“You never know when your best friend calls for an emergency. Now have a shower and I’ll iron the dress and prepare everything else. You will rock this date for sure…”

Nervous, no beyond nervous you look in the mirror. The woman looking back doesn’t look like you. The dress hugs your curves, the heels let your legs look way longer and you like it, but the make-up is not your style.

“I’ll wear the heels and I like how you curled my hair but…” Grabbing a tissue you remove the red lipstick. “Less make-up, Wanda, this isn’t me. I shouldn’t look like I want to get laid or anything…”

“Gosh…doll…” Smirking Wanda uses the nickname Steve used. “I bet you dreamed of getting laid but Steve the whole three days.”

“No…” Flustered you glance at the woman in the mirror once again. “Less make-up, but I like the rest, Wanda…thank you.”

“Anytime, Babe. Now let me fix your make-up and hand you some condoms.” Giving Wanda a bitch face, you shake your head. “Come on, just do it with Mr. Hottie. He called you doll…”

“I don’t even know him, Wanda. I can’t just jump his bones or something. You know I am not like that.” Whining you glance at the condoms in Wanda’s hands before she stuffs them into your purse.

“I know, holy Y/N. Now shut your cute mouth and listen to me.” Taking your hand in her hands Wanda takes a deep breath. “Sometimes you meet a guy and you just know you want him to rail you into the mattress. Better safe than sorry.”

“WANDA!” Removing the condoms, you toss them at your friend. “I won’t have sex with him after knowing that guy for five minutes!”

“But…” Giving you a wink Wanda puts a condom back into your purse. “He saved your and kitty’s life, Babe. Who could ever compare with a hero saving your cute ass?”

“He saved me…” Feeling the heat creeping into your cheeks you giggle. “His hands were so strong, and he smelled so good. Manly…no musky or something. I wanted to sniff at him but this would’ve been weird, I guess….”

“Holy…you got it bad, Babe.” Smirking Wanda pats your cheek. “I bet he will pop your cherry soon enough.”

“WANDA MAXIMOFF!” Enouncing every letter, you point a finger at your friend.

“Just saying…”

----

“Steve, you can’t be serious! You want to go out with that poor girl and then what? Torture her between drinking coffee and giving her puppy dog eyes?” Sam is furiously gesturing with his hands. “I will call him, I swear.”

“You will not bug him right now! He still needs time to recover, Sam. This is the best way to get close to Brock Rumlow! If I pretend to like his sister, he might invite me to the inner circle or, she will give me information about her brother.”

Sam inhales sharply, not wanting to imagine what Steve has planned or which line he will cross to get what he wants.

“Steve, Director. Did you have a look at her file? Did you know she got shot shortly after Rumlow Sen. kicked her out?” Pointing at the picture in the folder Sam glares at Steve.

“Steve, you are my friend, my partner but I will not stand at the sideline and cheer for you while you abuse this girl. She went to enough shit in her young life!”

“This could all be a cover, Sam. Maybe Rumlow’s father wanted a doctor to take care of his men. She leaves the family, studies freely and comes back anytime he needs her to fix a wound.” Steve tries to reason with Sam, but his friend won’t have it.

“If you believe this sweet girl has anything to do with the mob, you are a lousy cop for sure. Steve you are blinded by rage and guilt. I know it should’ve been you going undercover and bring Rumlow down. Bucky jumped in as you were with Peggy at that time.”

Sam closes the files, shoving it toward his friend. “Before you hurt that girl and cross a line, you should have a close look at her file and the life she’s living.”

Tapping his fingers onto the folder Sam sighs. “Until you tell me that you won’t use her, I am out of this. I’ll take a few days off. I can’t believe you want to use her to get Rumlow. She means nothing to that bastard, you know that.”

Grabbing the door handle Sam looks over his shoulder, giving Steve a cracked smile.

“You desperately try to fix what happened to Bucky, but that’s impossible. All we can do is doing our job but not the way you want to do it. For me the bad guys are bad, the good guys are good. Sometimes we have shades of grey, but you, my friend will turn darker than black if you act like Rumlow…” The door slams shut behind Sam and for the first time, Steve doubts his plan.

“You should meet up with the girl, try to poke her a bit. Maybe she will tell you something useful, maybe not.” Fury glances at the information Sam gathered. “Wilson may be right, Steve. Keep it low. If she has no contact, leave her alone.”

“It’s only a coffee, Nick. I saved her life and she wanted to thank me.” Rubbing his bearded chin Steve remembers the way you felt against him. He can still smell your shampoo and his mind wanders to your hands on his chest. “I will not marry her to bring Rumlow down.”

“Good, that’s good.” Fury doesn’t like the way Steve stars at a picture of you. “We don’t need anyone suing us for seducing an innocent girl.”

“You look amazing, doll.” Steve can’t take his eyes off you. Wearing a dress looking straight as if you jumped out of a 40’s advertisement, matching heels and your hair in curls you look like you put a lot of effort into impressing him.

“I don’t know…” You are not as self-confident as the women Steve usually goes for. Flustered you tug at the seem of your dress, doubting your appearance.

“Wanda insisted I have to wear a dress on a date. I…I think I am overdressed…Sorry…”

“Never apologize for looking beautiful, Y/N. I mean…” Licking his lips Steve rakes his eyes over your body, admiring the swell of your breasts and the tiny scar at your left knee.

“I am bad at stuff like that. I only have one dress…” Shrugging you smile as Steve pulls the chair for you. “Thank you…”

“My pleasure…” Steve slowly doubts he can stay professional. He needs to remind himself this is an investigation, not a date with a pretty girl. “What do you want to drink?”

“Is tea okay? I am not into coffee that much…” Giggling you can see the look your savior gives you. “I didn’t want to tell you when you asked me for coffee…”

“Noted, doll. You don’t like coffee, but you like tea and cats…” Smirking Steve leans closer, brushing his fingertips over your hand on the table. “Anything else I need to know, Y/N?”

“Uh—I don’t know…” Wrinkling your forehead you don’t know if you can tell Steve you only have Wanda in your life. “I am a loner, I guess…” Rubbing your hand over your dress you try to calm your racing heart.

 Steve looks at you with those ocean blue eyes and you are sure Wanda was right. You will fall for him for sure …

“Loner? Such a lovely young lady?” Steve squeezes your hand and your breath hitches in your throat. “What about good friends…?”

“I only have Wanda. Her mom and mine were friends when we were little. After my mom died, I had no one left and Wanda’s mom, she offered me shelter.” Ashamed you dare not to meet Steve’s eyes. “I was grateful, but it was cramped for sure.”

“I see…I am sorry for your loss.” Nodding you give Steve a cracked smile. “My mom, she…gosh…” Rubbing your forehead nervously you glance at Steve.

“You can tell me anything, doll. I work as a social worker.” Steve starts lying to you the moment you opened up to him. He knows that you will tell him anything if you trust him enough.

“She loved me, but she loved drugs more…” Blurring out the truth you believe Steve will run for the hills now, instead, he takes your hand to kiss your knuckles softly.

“I tried to help her but my stepfather…he’s not a good man.” Sniffling you swallow hard. “Here I am babbling about my life.”

“That’s quite alright, Y/N. I like to listen to you. Maybe you want to tell me more, one day.” Steve waves at the waiter, knowing he shouldn’t push you right now. “Don’t hold back, Sweetie…”

“You are nice, Steve but I don’t want to bore you with my stories. How about you tell me something about you?” Blinking a few times Steve looks at your lips, licking his own before the spell gets broken by the waiter taking your orders.

“I am a simple boy from Brooklyn. Honestly, I hate that I had to leave it for work.” Nodding you lean closer, listening to Steve’s words. “Where are you originally from?”

“You will laugh…” Giggling you look around the café. “I would never laugh about you, Y/N.” Covering your hand Steve searches your face as you lean closer.

“Minnesota. A sleepy town called Biwabik.” Steve’s brows furrow. According to your file, you are born and raised in New York.

“Interesting.” Rubbing circles into your skin Steve searches your face for any kind of lie. “How was life in Biwabik?”

“I can’t remember, Steve. I was like three when mom moved to New York, dreaming of a career at the Broadway…and shit…” Covering your mouth with your hand you mumble an apology. “Sorry, I tend to curse while remembering my mom and our life…”

“Broadway…huh? She was an actress or a singer?” You picked Steve’s interest and he pushes your buttons to get more information. Anything he can use against Brock or find out more about you.

“Nah, she wanted to become a costume designer. She had talent, tho…” Watching the waiter place your orders you thank him before you clear your throat. “But before she had the chance, she caught the wrong man’s attention and…”

“Your stepfather?”

“I think that’s enough about past dreams and my mom’s life. How about I tell you about kitty?” Chuckling Steve hides he’s impatient to get to know more about what happened to your mother and your connection to the Rumlow’s but again…he needs to slow down.

“Right! How is the little furball?”

“I adopted her, Steve. She eats for two and …” Squealing you give Steve a wink. “I’ll be a mom soon…”

Steve chokes on his coffee, and his eyes immediately land on your stomach. His hopes shattered he takes his hand off yours. “You’re going to be a mom soon…”

“Yeah! According to the veterinarian, kitty is pregnant. I’ll have more than one kitten soon…” Smiling you take a bite of your cake and Steve nods, hiding the relive washing over him.

“Kitten…that’s great, Y/N. I am more a dog guy, but cats are cute.” Now you narrow your eyes, glaring at Steve.

“I think, we shouldn’t see each other again.” The words floating out of your mouth make Steve’s heart drop. For a moment he forgot this is all fake.

“If you can’t admit you love my kitty, you are not the right guy for me…oh…crap…” Hiding your face in your hands you curse yourself.

“Hmm…I like kitty, Y/N. Maybe I can visit her next time?” Next time, Steve said next time and your heart starts to flutter. “We could have dinner at this nice Italian restaurant I know in Brooklyn.”

Steve offered you his jacket as he walks you home. One arm slung around your shoulders he debates to see you again or just check if Sam was right about you.

But investigating your past with your help will be way easier…right? Lost in his thoughts he barely recognized you stopped in front of your apartment complex. Your look up at him, innocently and he can’t help himself.

Before his mind can stop him, he cups your cheek and presses his lips to yours. It’s the perfect kiss to you and you melt against Steve.

“Doll…I had fun. I’d like to see you again…”

“I’d like that too, Steve…” Shrugging his jacket of you smile one last time at him before you unlock the door. Like a gentleman Steve watches you close the door.

He can’t see you press your back against the door, sighing. You feel like you are walking on air and know for sure. You are falling hard for Steve and you don’t even know his surname…

Steve waits for a while, sending Fury a message while two pairs of eyes watch him slowly turn to enter his car.

“I want to know everything about that guy, like yesterday.” Brock clenches his jaw, slams his hands onto the steering wheel as he must watch Steve drive away while you look out of the window, smiling.

“We won’t get her back if she has a relationship and friends she can rely on.”

“All I can say is that she met him after work and that he saved her life. According to my sister, she’s head over heels for him, boss. Maybe it’s better this way…”

Gun pointed to his head Pietro falls silent. “I’ll try to find out more, boss but Wanda doesn’t know I work for you, she can never know…”

“We have a deal. Fulfill your part and I’ll keep my word…”

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