#for real though i did very much get more done the past week without also needing to do the comic update

[someone-always-cares]

[ID: a drawing of a computer popup style notifications titled "SAC BOOK" with a loading bar like 80-90% done with the description "book kickstarter preperation in progress!". below is is a traditionally drawn sketch that has been scanned and shaded digitally, of the artist holding a clipboard titled "burnout avoidance strategy" and staring at it with their tongue out. next to them is the words "we'll be right back!" end id]

okay so little better rested currently so brief update! so realised that there is still a fair bit that needs doing but making regular comic updates does take up about half or more of the time i have to work on art stuff, so i've made the decision to swap around kickstarter preperation and comic updates on my priority list!

unfortunatly the struggles of making comics while having a day job means that trying to do both will just make me burnt out and make both projects half assed so i'm pausing the regular comic updates to put my focus on preparing to print the comic. can't burn the candle at both ends, you'll just burn yourself and get wax all over the carpet

current (self imposed) timeline estimate: work on (and hopefully finish) preperations in july, have the kickstarter be live in time for august (so i can advertise it in the 3 conventions i have that month), resume comic updates in august also (hopefully. again, 3 conventions. will let you all know how it turns out) and print everything in september!

[cillianhead]

Hey hey, I just found your blog and I really like your writing - especially Sitting Pretty since I'm a sucker for those Crane fics. :3

Would you maybe be up for some kind of comfort/fluff fic with Crane?

I am always up for some comfort/fluff when it comes to Dr Jonathan Crane. He's so babygirl <3

Anyway, I hope you enjoy.... thank you so much for your request!

Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby || Jonathan Crane x Reader

warnings: none really, some brief mentions of violence, crying, angsty but also fluffy and comforting at the end, not really anything that bad to be honest, sort of non-canonical to anything that actually happened in the films.

It had been around a week since you had seen your boyfriend of three years. This was the longest you had gone without seeing Jonathan, without even hearing a peep from him. You even went to his work, he hadn't been there either. You knew what sort of dangerous work he did outside of Arkham and also within it, you knew the dangers and the risks he faced every time he left your apartment. You were still hopelessly devoted to him, despite the bad things that he has done and continues to do. You knew he would never hurt you. Him being gone felt like someone had ripped your heart out... like your soul was slowly being eaten away. Where was he? Was he even still alive? No. You mustn't think like that.

It was only a week, maybe he just needed some time away. Though he would've at least taken time off work, surely? His work told you he hadn't called in sick but he was supposed to be there. But he wasn't.

You hadn't cried. You found yourself growing more and more numb to the absence of Jonathan. It was like your body trying to reject a foreign object, trying to spit him out of your heart. It was painful and agonizingly slow, you knew you could never get over him, especially if you never got to say goodbye. His things lying around your apartment were a painful reminder of the fact he was gone. And he probably was never coming back.

You hadn't slept, at least not very well, in four days. You'd barely been eating either, maybe a stale cracker or two every now and then but you couldn't bring yourself to eat any proper meals. The best you could do was stare at the tiled wall as you stood in the scalding hot shower, trying to burn away the grief.

With the growing hunger and the fact you barely slept, paranoia was also sprouting within you, like some sort of sickly weed. You were worried that if Jonathan had been captured, whatever got him, was coming for you next. Every tiny little noise, every rumble, or car horn outside sent you running to the comfort of your shared bed. The one that smelt like him. You really couldn't sleep. Every shadow looked like some sort of evil horned figure ready to devour you whole, your eyes wide and frozen, helplessly full of fear. You thought about how Jonathan would assess this situation, how nerdy he got when you were afraid, in its own way you found it comforting the way he explained the body's reaction to fear and the way he explained the mind's power over the body.

The sleep you did get would be full of nightmares or vividly heartbreaking dreams. There was one you couldn't get over, a dream so sweet, more like a memory than anything else. Jonathan coming home from work, taking off his clothes and crawling into bed with you. His hands caressed your back softly, arms cradling you like you could shatter at any moment if he held you too tight. It felt so painfully real, that even when you began to wake up you could still feel him there. Still feeling his arms around you.

"Jonathan..." You whispered a sigh of relief, his arms pulled away from you as your heart raced with joy. Sitting up and looking around to find yourself just as alone as you had been for the past week. That's when you began to cry. "Jonathan..." You sobbed into your hands, you couldn't fall asleep after that. It was four in the morning, and the room was pretty much pitch black as you cried to yourself like a baby needing its mother.

Even more time passed. You were hysterical, you didn't pick up your phone when your friends called, you didn't leave the house, you didn't eat, and you most definitely didn't sleep. You were in bad shape, to say the least. It was that time of the year when the rain began to pour, your glass walls showed the bruised sky and the lightning it unleashed upon Gotham. You didn't work, Jonathan insisted on you staying at home, for him to provide for you. You were pretty happy staying at home and doing as you pleased. But now... it felt so different, there was no one to come home to you. You were pretty certain that the love of your life had died and you were going to spend the rest of your time alone. You knew you could never love again.

As if the sky knew how you felt, it only rained harder, it rained for days and it never stopped. You sat on the couch with a blanket draped over you as you lifelessly stared out at the dark sky. It was the middle of the night, and you thought about sweet nothings you and Jonathan shared. You thought about how lucky you were to see that side of him, so lucky you weren't on the other end, seeing the scarecrow, full of fear toxin. You thought about Jonathan humming while he made you pancakes, thought about the way he wrote you love letters almost every morning before he left for work, thought about the way you both were ready to get married soon. You remembered him holding your stomach while you brushed your teeth before bed and saying in that beautiful voice of his; "One day, you and I, are gonna have a bunch of beautiful babies and we'll live far far away from here. Everything will be perfect."

You sobbed and nothing brought you out of it. The pain in your chest was unbearable, no stupid fucking sad song or badly written poem could ever express it. There was no comprehensible word in any language that could truly explain away the agony you were in. You were no longer paranoid that something was going to come and hurt you, in fact, if there was someone or something out there coming to get you, you'd happily let it come in and put you out of your goddamn misery.

It was two soft raps on your bedroom window from the fire escape that caught your attention. You froze and stopped your crying, listening for it again, wondering if maybe you were just hearing things.

It's when you hear them again that you manage to stand up on shaky legs and wander into your bedroom that you see a shadow, leaning its weight against the window tiredly. It was him. With all the energy you could muster up, you ran to the window and slid it open before grabbing ahold of him and pulling him into your bedroom. You felt like you were going to have a heart attack.

"Y/N," Jonathan whispered. You didn't say a word, just turned on the lamp to light up the room. If this was a dream, you were going to try and enjoy every second of it. If this was the only way you could see your Jonny then you would take in every moment. "I... I missed you." And when you turned around, ready to scold him, ready to scream your lungs out at him for being gone, your heart broke all over again. His clothes were torn and covered in dried-up blood. Jonathan's neck was covered in bruises in the shape of handprints and his eyes were tired and void of any life. "Jonathan..." You whimpered, approaching him, he winced a bit as you placed your hands softly on his face. "Where have you been? What happened to you?" You were going to be angry at him before but now you understood... it wasn't his fault. He was soaking wet and you could see he had been crying too.

"I... I can't... really remember... I was drugged..." He mumbled, Jonathan's fingers curled around your waist and pulled you into a bone-crunching hug. He breathed you in, embracing you again was the only medicine he needed. Holding you was the only thing that could tell him was truly okay. "The Batman got me... I don't know how I managed to escape... just ended up here... I've been walking for days."

"Jonny..." You were crying as you sat him gently down on the bed. "I thought you..." You whispered. The strength was not in you to say it. "I thought you were..."

"Dead?" Jonathan croaked out, his voice was hoarse in a way that told you he had spent days on end screaming, from the torture he had been put through. "Yeah, me too." He said dryly.

You helped him undress. The clothes were pretty much useless so you tossed them on the floor in a pile to throw away later. "Let me clean you up..."

"No." He said. "Not right now..." Jonathan shook his head as he grabbed you and pulled you into his chest as you laid down in the bed with him again. "I just need to feel you..." His voice broke and in the process, your heart broke too. You could hear how defeated he was. "Need to feel you there." You understood, not saying another word as you clung to him. You listened to the sound of his heart, ear pressed right against his bare and bruised chest. You heard him sniffle, immediately causing you to pull away. "Oh, baby..." You cooed sadly, brushing a tear off his wounded cheek. The dam gates were open now as he began to cry, wincing at the salty tears mixing in with his busted face. "I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry that happened to you... I was so worried... you're here now... you're here with me... my baby."

"I thought about you every second," He sobbed. Jonathan looked like a helpless little child at that moment, his blue eyes were pitiful. "I thought I was going to die... thought I was never gonna get the chance to say goodbye to you..."

Together you sat crying, both with relief and sorrow as the rain poured outside, the heaven's crying with you. Everything felt okay again, for the both of you, now that you were with one another. "It's okay, Jonny." You tried to console him. Things had happened to him before, he'd been beaten up or caught in dangerous situations but he usually came home shrugging it off, this time you could tell he was severely traumatized, you could tell this was going to take a while for him to get over. Jonathan had that thousand-yard stare, that mischievous fire that usually lit up his eyes had been extinguished and now reflected the dreary weather outside. "I love you, baby, it's okay... nothing's ever going to hurt you again." You whispered, he leaned in, pressing a kiss to your lips. You kissed him as gently as you could, knowing his lip was swollen and split open, you could taste the metallic blood from his mouth and the saltiness of his tears.

"Y/N..." Jonathan wept, his face now buried in between your neck and your jaw. "It hurts." The tone of his voice was the most heart-shattering thing you'd ever heard.

"I know, my baby," You hushed as you laid back down again, caressing his hair that was still wet from the rain. "Nothing will ever hurt you again." You reassured once again. "Nothing's going to take you from my side."

You cried your own tears of sadness, relieved he was back in your arms, relieved that you were there to take care of him and nurse him back to health. The morning sun had begun to rise by the time you two had properly nestled into your bed, skin pressed together, legs intertwined. Jonathan slept in your arms, you held him like a baby, you couldn't sleep, too happy to have him in your arms again.

"As long as you're with me, you'll be just fine..." You whispered softly into his hair.

-

[rowanisawriter]

2024 —my year in writing

last year, i wrote more than i ever have like literally in my whole life. this year i beat my record by about 200k words. i am writing A LOT and it’s all because of you.

yes, you, reading this now. anyone who kudos’d or commented or liked or reblogged anything i wrote, and followed me here and on ao3, and ranted in my dms and added me to servers. you, reading the weird things i write, the things i can only write and only i can write, seeing it and liking it and coming back again and again for more. thank you :)

so here’s my 2024 summary:

words written: 358,963

fics published: 74

my favorite fics:

real world (stardew valley) - a story about parenthood and roads not taken. genuinely the most important story to me, a diary entry as much as fanfic

pilgrimage (bg3) - a story about two people without a past as they work toward an even more uncertain future. i also have no past because of a strange upbringing so this story is kinda personal to me even though it’s about a cleric and a vampire

novel (hades) - a story about looking for adventure and finding love and family instead. i had so much fun writing this and posted weekly without pre-writing which was a challenge but it all worked out

patchwork self (datv) - a story about finding pieces of your brother in yourself. i wrote a lot of structured fic this year and i think this one flowed the easiest and was the most precise in how it delivered the message i was trying to get across, also it’s gen which i never write

my most written pairing: thanzag with 11 stories! not surprising since ive spent most of the year humiliating myself over thanatos

my most used tags: romance, introspection, character study

what i learned: i learned above all to trust myself! this year i wrote and completed three multi chapter fics that i didn’t prewrite and posted week by week until it was done. i’ve never been able to do that before but this year i just did it and didn’t overthink it, and i trusted that i could finish the stories and i did lol i can do anything i think i just have to trust myself a little

what i want to write next year: i would like very much to write something original, i have a loose idea so i just need to sit down and write so my goal is really small and simple, hopefully i don’t let myself down

[botanist-cool]

Minis of 2024!

Hi all! I've been minipainting for... about a year and a half now so I'm here to share some random minis from this year I've been painting! Just know... I haven't sealed 99% of them cause... Well.... Didn't know! LOL I'll hyperlink videos as well. Let's get started! January:

The Erinyes Bards, boy these minis were a LOW point for me. I was actually quite disappointed in them. But I remember trying to really do shading without using a wash and honestly... I don't think I did well at all.

Feburary:

Ahhhh the Skyshroom Druid! I actually painted four mushroom druids in the style of various Tears of the Kingdom mushrooms! Has a lot of learning to do with THINNING MY PAINTS! LOL I do love the group as a whole though!

March: The Lizardfolk Assassins! See this time is where I believe I began to find my stride in general. I started painting once a week and really began to practice throughly.

April:

The BEHOLDER! This mini is in some CURRETLY DESPERATE NEED for a touching up. Specifically on the tendrils which, because it's not sealed, lost a lot of paint. HOWEVER the eye and mouth were highlights and big points of pride at the time! I'm sincerely proud of this one!

May: The Gold Dragon! It's actually NOT DONE yet... I need to do the eyes and honestly... that's about it. And reup the paint a tad. Otherwise, almost ready to seal! However now that I have MULTIPLE GOLDS I may touch it up and make it POP a little.

June:

Greek Columns.... I was trying to learn to make a marbling effect and honestly bit off more than I can chew. Not very proud of them.

July:

MY BABY RATHIAN! I love you Rathian! That being said, she's ALSO NOT DONE and needs touch ups! But I was very proud of the dry brushing I learned and the great shading I was able to do. I fully intend to paint a Rathalos one day.

August:

The Gnome Scouts and Juvenile Kraken! I'm actually most proud of the FROGS specifically! I got real good shading on them, solid highlighting, and a lot of great color work.

September:

Personally, MY BEST DRAGON TO DATE the Coastal Dragon, and my first Space Marine! I'm still very proud of both of these minis to this day!

October:

TALK ABOUT GROWTH! With the Aboleth, Mouse Knight, and Chaos Warrior I really practiced edge highlighting, shading, color theory, and shading with a lot more care than ever before! And I'm VERY proud of them!

November:

Again, we have a lot of growth with my Dragonborn Smithy, War Elephant, and League of Votann! Specifically with color theory! Using better colors and mixing colors to shade, highlight, and make these minis pop!

December:

This month! Finally got to the Orruk Cruel Boi, the Skaven, and starting basing my Tyranids! You can see on the Cruelboi and Skaven my highlighting is so much crisper! And my paints are NICE AND THIN on the tyranids! Honestly... Holy shit there's such a difference and so much growth in these past 12 months.

Over all... I've grown so much in this hobby over the past twelve months and I'm super gosh darn proud! I have done great! And I hope to continue doing amazing! I can't wait to continue!

[dragonmarquise]

Super Indulgent Canon x OC Ship, Part 1: Vinyl and Nunchaku

I finally, FINALLY managed to get one of these done. Long story short, dealing with a lot of irl nonsense the past few weeks, especially with my job. I think things are starting to get better? :u

Anyways!! Based on that poll I made a while ago, I’m starting off with the butch lesbians, yesss :D For reference, Nunchaku is one of my Devil Theory OCs!

(Also there might be some typos or weird grammar, I skimmed over this to double-check, but I probably still missed something. Let me know if I did!)

I guess first off to clarify, Vinyl in my headcanons is a more masculine lesbian, but also admittedly doesn’t label herself as butch. Like, she knows the label fits herself, but she just doesn’t use it out of preference. Though also doesn’t mind if people call her that (as long as they’re not trying to use it as an insult of course).

Plus she and Nunchaku have an ongoing thing of calling themselves “a pair of bad butches”, so there’s that too, lol

Anyways, starting off with how they met! Which is not the same as “how they got together”, because they technically knew each other before the events of the game (emphasis on technically), but only get together sometime afterwards.

We of course know from Faux’s real name being Teun Vogelaar that most of the characters are going by street names. For my headcanons, Vinyl’s real name is Florence, and she goes by Flo as a nickname. Meanwhile, Nunchaku’s real name is Roxanne, but she goes by Rox. What I’m getting at is, they met each other in their normal everyday outfits and going by their names/nicknames, so they don’t make the connection between themselves and their street rep until later. Much later in Nunchaku’s case.

(From here on out, I’ll use the nicknames Flo and Rox if it’s about them outside of doing writer stuff, and with their street names for writer stuff like the events of the game.)

So, Rox first meets Flo at the music store that Flo works at. She was just passing by and saw Flo, who she thought looked really cool! Though, Rox doesn’t have much of a reason to go into a store like this (keeps digital files and CDs of music she likes anyways). Still, she ends up passing by the store a couple of times over the course of a week, just to see Flo for a few seconds.

Eventually Rox realizes what she’s doing is going to look really damn creepy if Flo hasn’t noticed her already, so she finally gets the nerve to actually go into the store. They talk! For a bit! Friendly customer-employee small talk! But even that is enough for Rox to realize, “Oh crap I think I have a crush on her shit shit shit what do I do?!” She takes a look around the store, and grabs a record at random, thinking it’d be rude to leave without buying anything. Rox pays for it, she and Flo get to talk about the record she picked out, and then she leaves.

And then Rox ends up going back to the store again and again. She’s continuing to be on friendly terms with Flo. Though she has a crush on Flo, Rox really doesn’t want to push things too hard and come off as a creepy customer. In the end she’d be happy with just being friends if nothing else! Meanwhile, because of these visits, she’s slowly amassing a collection of records that she can’t even play. Nevermind the fact that most of them are genres she doesn’t listen to, lol

Eventually they do end up on a nickname basis. Flo mentions one time that she’s also a graffiti writer, and Rox is like hey, me too! Flo doesn’t mention that she mostly works with FUTURISM at the time, because she prefers to call herself a freelance writer even before the events of the game. Meanwhile, Rox doesn’t mention that she’s specifically part of Devil Theory, because she’s very much aware of their reputation in New Amsterdam’s graffiti scene.

That being said, Rox mentions how she’s part of a small crew with her bros and that they used to have turf in Mataan before getting kicked out by other crews. She doesn’t include the fact that they took over Pyramid Island as their new turf, because that would have definitely made it obvious she’s part of Devil Theory.

However, Flo does have her suspicions because of what Rox said, since to her knowledge Devil Theory is the only crew who were recently kicked out of Mataan. But in her mind, it’s all just speculation. And besides, Flo has genuinely been enjoying talking with Rox whenever she stops by. From Flo’s point of view, they’re still customer & employee and all, so it’s friendly in a cordial kind of way. Surely Rox isn’t a Devil Theory asshole! Plus, given she now knows they’re both writers, she was thinking of ask Rox to do a graffiti session with her.

But then, a bit before the games, Flo finds out that Rox is, in fact, part of Devil Theory. The way I was thinking about it, she finds out when she’s doing reconnaissance on Pyramid Island for FUTURISM, and ends up seeing Devil Theory without their masks. Then realizing that Nunchaku and Rox are the same person. And boy is she pissed about it.

A few days leading up to the game’s story, Rox still stops by Flo’s store. Flo tries to keep quiet about knowing who Rox is, especially since it’d be a horrible idea to start an argument about it in the store. To her manager, it would just look like she’s going off on a customer for no reason. Still, Flo is now more on the curt side with Rox, who takes a few days to notice. Then Rox is worried that she’s been annoying Flo and wonder how (or even if) she can fix things.

But then the events of the game happen! Flo/Vinyl helping out with Felix’s memories, joining up with BRC, them beating Devil Theory and eventually Faux, etc.

Vinyl ends up taking a lot of satisfaction in helping beat Devil Theory during the crew battle. Finally getting to take these jerks down a peg, in a way.

She’s disappointed in Rox/Nunchaku, wondering if Rox being nice in the store is the real Rox, or if that was just her messing with Flo. At the least, Devil Theory has been dealt with, and now BRC can focus on helping Felix.

Then near the end of the game, she sees Devil Theory getting thrashed by Faux. Admittedly she thinks, “Oh, damn, even those guys didn’t deserve that.”

That leads into the postgame, and thus them actually getting together. But of course, with Nunchaku being part of Devil Theory and Vinyl still not being happy about that, there’s some things to work out first. :P

For a while after, Devil Theory are being monitored by DJ Cyber and FUTURISM. DT got thrashed by Faux near the end of the game, but they’re still not being let off the hook for being involved with Faux and the police in the first place. So this is being done to make sure they’re not starting any further trouble. It’s something Cyber should have put a stop to sooner, but he was unfortunately caught up in his plan to revive Felix.

Then by this point, DT is either disliked or outright hated by the rest of the writers in the city. DT have the good grace to accept it, because looking back on everything this is the least they deserve. Nunchaku is of course included in this too.

Vinyl is sort of on double duty for both BRC and FUTURISM on this too, keeping an eye on Devil Theory and reporting if they’re planning something bad. This is half as a favor to the DJ and her new crew, and half because she’s still pissed about Nunchaku being in Devil Theory. Deep down she’s hoping that DT, and especially Nunchaku, can genuinely turn over a new leaf after all. Though at the same time, she’s pessimistic about that actually happening.

Nunchaku notices that Vinyl in particular seems to really hate her. Vinyl’s practically stalking her to make sure she’s keeping out of trouble, keeping a much closer eye on her than the rest of Devil Theory. That being said, Nunchaku also doesn’t think anything of it other than she deserves it after the snitching and other stuff Devil Theory did together.

Eventually things come to a head and Vinyl directly confronts Nunchaku over what happened and making sure she’s truthful about doing better. She does see Nunchaku feeling genuine guilt over what happened, especially once Nunchaku admits how stupid it was to trust Faux/the police in the first place. Devil Theory wanted an easy way to get to the top, and they paid the price for it already. Nunchaku specifically mentioning, “Well, whatever, even if you don’t believe me, it’s not like I’m gonna go straight back to what we did before,” convinces Vinyl she’s at least trying.

Towards the end of that conversation, Vinyl also encourages/threatens Nunchaku to be honest to the “record store gal”. Nunchaku questions how Vinyl “knows” Flo, Vinyl refuses to answer and says that “Flo” has had her suspicions about Nunchaku/Rox. If she’s serious about changing for the better, then Nunchaku needs to start by admitting to her misdeeds as a writer to Flo.

Nunchaku is pretty nervous and hesitant at this point. She just thinks Vinyl is good friends with Flo and hence why Vinyl is being so “protective”, not realizing they are in fact the same person. After further prodding from Vinyl, Nunchaku eventually agrees to it, thinking it’s only fair.

The next day! Nunchaku-as-Rox stops by the music store, asks Flo if they can talk privately after she’s done with work. Then in the afternoon, they have a heart-to-heart talk and Rox basically spills her guts to Flo about everything: being a part of Devil Theory, the snitching and backhanded stuff they did, their involvement with the game’s events, etc.

Flo admits she knew for a while who Rox really was (to Rox’s shock!!), but is glad that Rox finally told the truth herself. Flo makes it clear that she’s disappointed in Rox and won’t forgive her for what she and Devil Theory have been doing. However, if Rox and them make an honest effort to be better people, Flo will still appreciate it. Rox is relieved to say the very least, and thanks Flo for the mercy!

Later on, Nunchaku gets a chance to explain what happened to Vinyl. She also thanks Vinyl for pushing her to speak with Flo. And yes, Nunchaku still doesn’t realize Flo = Vinyl. Vinyl actually picks up on that during this conversation, but decides not to comment on it for now. So then Rox and Flo are at least back on good terms during Rox’s visits to the music shop.

FUTURISM and Vinyl are still keeping an eye on Devil Theory, but by now they’re proving they really have turned out a new leaf. They’re still jerks and pick fights every now and then, but definitely not nearly as bad as they were before. Vinyl takes the opportunity tofinally tell Nunchaku that she’s the same person as Flo. Nunchaku isn’t mad about the revelation. If anything, she’s just incredibly embarrassed that she never noticed sooner, lmaoooo

Nunchaku apologizes for it even though she doesn’t have to, but Vinyl admits it’s kind of funny, Vinyl: “How many black women with blue hair have you seen around here?” Nunchaku: “… I mean, there’s that one lady in Eclipse. Then that’d be her, you, and uh, ‘Flo’.” Vinyl: “Okay, but still! You really couldn’t tell me and Flo were the same person this whole time? Same voice and all? The only difference is that I tie my hair back into a ponytail instead of a side ‘fro while I’m working.” Nunchaku: “Well, like, I didn’t wanna end up, like, being racist or something!!” Vinyl: “… Racist??” Nunchaku: “Like, assuming two black women had to be the same person just ‘cuz I think their hair and voices were similar!! Most people would totally think it’s racist if I thought that, y’know?!” Vinyl, holding back laughter for Nunchaku’s sake: “Damn, I think you overcorrected yourself on that one.”

Banter aside, they end up being friends from this point on!

Nunchaku is ultimately happy with this turn of events. She didn’t expect she would be able to repair her relationship with Flo/Vinyl at all, and had given up any hope she had for it!

The two of them hang out as friends, sometimes with the rest of their respective crews and sometimes by themselves. During this, Nunchaku kind of lets go of her crush on Vinyl, being content with just being friends with her. Like I mentioned earlier, she almost gave up hope on being able to fix things, so she’s sure as hell not going to be pushy and potentially ruin things now!

… unfortunately, the opposite happens with Vinyl. She grows to love Nunchaku after being able to hang out with her, learning more about her, and seeing that Nunchaku is less “pure evil” and more “jerkish goofball”. Especially the goofball part comes out a lot more as they continue hanging out.

So then! This leads to a particular story bit where Nunchaku is pushing herself to get better as a writer, and especially for combo high scores in all the boroughs. It’s to the point where Vinyl is worried for her health. She ends up challenging Nunchaku to a special score battle. Whoever can get the highest total score across the whole city in a certain amount of time wins! And for the prize, then winner gets to ask of something of the loser!

Vinyl wins and asks Nunchaku out on a date. Nunchaku nearly faints from hearing that, but yeah, they’re dating now, hee hee.

Admittedly I basically just outlined at least three (maybe four??) fics I was planning to write for this ship, whooooops :P

Moving on! Now to talk about their interests/hobbies/activities as an actual couple.

They eventually sort out Nunchaku’s impromptu record collection, mainly getting her a record player and records for genres she actually likes! Vinyl uses her employee discount plus the store’s trade-in feature (only doable since Nunchaku never even opened the plastic wrap on most of them) to help. Thus Nunchaku gets an appreciation for music played on vinyl, “It really does have a different quality! Whenever I heard people say that, I thought they were just being pretentious, y’know?”

Also it turns out Vinyl has an out-of-control collection herself, for plushies specifically (the idea for this came from one of @mechanical-magician’s headcanon posts!!). Many, many plushies in a small apartment, lol. Nunchaku helps her set up shelves and cases for all of them!

Nunchaku has her own little workshop in a junkyard/scrapyard in the city, where she works on random projects and putting together/taking apart stuff for fun. She and Vinyl hang out there too!

Besides graffiti art, Vinyl is into art in general. She sometimes makes sculptures for displays and such! Nunchaku helps her out with putting stuff together sometimes. Also random ideas. Granted, Nunchaku isn’t exactly artistically inclined, but Vinyl finds her to be a fun source of inspiration for more out there sculptures (example: metal spider tree).

The two of them go on little trips around the city, looking for cool places to hang out, new spots for graffiti, or finding scraps for either Vinyl’s art projects or Nunchaku’s mechanical projects. It’s fun to look around the less traveled parts of a city you thought you already knew well. Never know what you’ll find!

Nunchaku has a personal project to recreate DJ Cyber’s vehicle! Just the vehicle part though, not the dream machine. She’s been unsuccessful in getting a decent prototype working, nevermind finishing the whole thing. She could pull it off if she had at least schematics of DJ’s vehicle, but of course he’s very protective of that information. Vinyl helps with Nunchaku’s vehicle project, but I’m not gonna get too into that because that’s a whole other fic outline, lol

Sometimes the person you date/marry is also your best friend at the same time, and I like to think that kinda happens with Nunchaku and Vinyl :>

Vinyl has dimples when she smiles, and Nunchaku thinks it’s very cute. :3

Nunchaku learns more about art and music through Vinyl, and Vinyl in turn learns more about anime and video games through Nunchaku. In particular, Vinyl getting back into Pokemon after not playing the games since she was a kid. She’s got a lot of catching up to do!

Okay so in my Devil Theory headcanons post, I mentioned how Nunchaku is good at stealing things without getting caught. Vinyl points out that sleight of hand tricks Nunchaku uses for pickpocketing can be used for close-up magic too. So then Nunchaku gains a new hobby from that, lol

Also mentioned in the other post, Nunchaku is crane and forklift certified. She figured it would look good on her resume, and hopefully be impressive to other people. Vinyl thinks it’s genuinely cool, and Nunchaku is ridiculously happy that someone actually thinks so!

Another one from the other post: Nunchaku has been interested in learning about welding, and getting to help Vinyl with putting together sculptures (especially ones made out of metal) has given her a chance to practice with it. Vinyl is also encouraging her to get certified for it!

They also do skateboarding stuff together for fun, at a local skatepark in the city. They end up becoming “skateboard aunties” to a bunch of kids who hang out at the park and look up to them. And then that eventually leads to them outright supervising a kids’ skateboard club. It’s not something either of them really planned to do, but they’ll admit it’s pretty fun, lol

When they eventually move in together, Nunchaku asks if they can maybe get a pet tarantula, or maybe a pet python, she’s always wanted one of those as a pet. Vinyl says in response, “Why not both?”. So yeah, they end up with Rosemary the tarantula and Lavender the python. And then eventually Paprika the centipede, plus two geckos named Cinnamon and Nutmeg. They love their pets!

And that’s it for now! If I think of anything else, I’ll add to this post. Heck, feel free to send asks of scenarios and other stuff with these two, maybe that’ll be inspiration for some neat idea! But oh boy, this was already a lot more than I intended to write, lol…

[rockinlibrarian]

Two AO3-Writer Year-End Surveys that astonishingly don't have THAT much overlap in questions.

And I believe they were both originally meant to be "Ask Me a Number" Games so they wouldn't be as long as this is? But I'm using it as a proper yearly wrap-up. And I've done so for the past two years at least. So there.

I apologize to whomever wrote these surveys that I no longer have your info because I just dumped them both in a Scrivener file. I'm pretty sure I personally got both sets of questions from @uniasus. So that's sort of credit. Anyway, to begin:

I better put it under a cut for length, even though I'm afraid no one will click through. You can click through and THEN skim! I give you permission!

Survey Set 1:

How many words have you written this year? 36,643 new words POSTED to AO3. Don't even know how many words I've WRITTEN. But it's more than that.

2. How many works did you publish this year? Seven. And this year I didn't even update any previously posted ongoing fics.

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)? Mayyyybe "The Beginning of Something Else Entirely"? Because it does a really fun job of combining characters from two different fandoms, and some of those characters were quite complicated to write and I think I pulled it off.

4. What work of yours has the most hits? This is always weird to answer when you've done Yuletide and inevitably the work that WILL have the most hits— and kudos, and comments (judging by one year's previous Yuletide at least)— will get them all in the very last week of the year. But AS IT CURRENTLY STANDS, the answer is "New World Symphony" — by a lot (936), actually, so maybe the Yuletide fic WON'T be able to catch up.

5. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected? I have a kind of complicated answer for this, involving my two new multichapters, because it's not so much more feedback as "not the feedback I expected). When I started "The Beginning of Something Else Entirely," I thought it would get more attention than "New World Symphony," because it's Gen and a post-season-4 fix-it, as opposed to the latter with its controversial ship. But even AFTER I posted the former, "New World Symphony" got way more kudos (and, as you see above, hits). Someone on the TUA Discord pointed out that it's about finding a niche— something can be more generally appealing, but it's got loads of competition that way, people may never find it— whereas they're going to come LOOKING for your weird ship if they also ship it. ON THE OTHER HAND, though, I'd also figured "The Beginning of Something Else Entirely" would get relatively more attention from TUA fans, because it's a bigger fandom than Legion…but instead, Legion fans came out of the woodwork to be the primary readers of that one! Now if they'd just go and read "The Magic Man of Oz" while they're here…!

6. Favorite title you used. If you stick only with titles I've actually PUBLISHED… possibly "Viktor Squares a Love Triangle" in "Beginning of Something Else Entirely." But my absolute favorite title I wrote this year is for Chapter 5 of "New World Symphony": "Fugue for Strings and Synth." It is SUCH a good title you have no idea. Maybe in three years when I finally post Chapter 5 of "New World Symphony" I'll say it again.

7. If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most? No use of song lyrics this year. I don't think. I may have made lyric references without thinking about it too hard, since I do that in real life, but nothing's standing out, and nothing in the titles. No Sound of Music ones since I didn't update "Captain with Seven Children"…

8. Pairing you wrote the most for this year? Um, Fiktor. Still. A couple just platonically, even. And I worked really hard to keep the platonic ones that way! If you ask I can still point out the places where my shipper heart was poking through…

9. Favorite pairing you wrote for this year? Well, obviously Fiktor as far as / pairings go. But & pairings I can't narrow down, because I found so many fun ones combining the Legion and TUA characters for "Beginning of Something Else Entirely." Those characters were destined to meet! On the obvious side, the Chaos Couple of Lenny & Klaus is RIGHT THERE, but I'm probably proudest of pairing up Allison & Syd, who just— their relationships with their powers and their similarly checkered pasts, they're so good for each other, especially with Syd's post-Astral-Plane growth to lead the way. And speaking of the astral plane, Oliver Bird & absolutely anyone.

10. What work was the quickest to write? "Brother and Also Brother Home for Christmas" literally took me an hour, and part of that was just watching the commercial it was based on a few times. Somebody on the TUA Discord server pointed out that the Folgers Incesty Christmas commercial was practically a ready-made Fiktor fic and as the only Fiktor writer there, well… I responded. —I started filling this out before I spontaneously posted "Did Anyone Ever Tell You You Look Just Like Aubrey Plaza?" which was probably physically written in even less time, but I'd been telling it to myself in my head for a few months already so I'm not sure that counts?

11. What work took you the longest to write? No idea, especially since two are multichapters that are still in progress.

12. How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year? Well besides the two I started posting this year, there's "Captain with Seven Children" and "Tesseract" which are still slowly in progress, a couple more bits and pieces side works for the Legion/TUA crossover now-series, aaaand… I think that's it? How many is that?

13. What’s your longest work of the year? "The Beginning of Something Else Entirely" at 18,377 words posted so far, and that's not even counting the additional 2,248 I've drafted. Then again, "New World Symphony" has a LOT drafted, so with its 12,655 posted… no, with draft chapters it still only comes to 18,305, so "Beginning" wins.

14. What’s your shortest work of the year? That would also be "Brother and Also Brother Home for Christmas" because it's a retelling of a 30-second commercial. Unless you count "happy birthday," which is a piece of visual art and therefore appears on AO3 as having a Wordcount of 0. It technically has a wordcount of 12, which is still the shortest, but @destinyandcoins wrote those words, anyway. See... some number below for more.

15. What WIP are you taking into next year with you? ALL OF THEM.

16. What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag? For just this year, it's a tie between "Remix" and "TUA Masked Author Summer Remix 2024 (Umbrella Academy)," with two each, because I did two remixes for said event. And otherwise none of the fics had ANY overlapping tags! … For all time, it's still "Backstory." …oh, after I added "Did Anyone Ever Tell You You Look Just Like Aubrey Plaza?" I double-checked because I thought there might be some overlap with "Brother and Also Brother," but no, I tagged one "ficlet" and the other "flash fiction," and only one of them as "crack" even though they both probably count. And apparently "Brother and Also Brother" is the only one I tagged "pseudo-incest" in. Because they're NOT brothers in "New World Symphony," I guess. It might be… pseudo-pseudo-incest?

17. Your favorite character to write this year? I THINK it may still be Oliver Bird. He just keeps consistently delighting me, enough that I felt the need to squee about how much I love writing Oliver Bird on social media several times. There's also a character in my Yuletide fic that I kept having to STOP myself from squeeing about how much I loved writing, being that it's STILL A SECRET that I WAS writing them. I'll tell ya later.

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year? I had a lot of trouble getting into Diego Hargreeves's internal voice when I first started trying to write his scene in "The Beginning of Something Else Entirely," but once it clicked I ended up really enjoying it! I also found writing David Haller's alters butting in to a conversation to be an interesting challenge, but that one really did feel more like a puzzle, a challenge to overcome, than that it was actually giving me trouble.

19. What’s one pairing you want to explore next year? I don't… know really? No, that's not true, I have been thinking a lot about the father/daughter aspects of Oliver Bird and Syd Barrett. Maybe it's me still missing my own dad; and I'm writing this crossover full of crappy or at least absent dads in both sources, EXCEPT for this foster-father relationship that was only established in one episode and never got to be explored further, but now that they're living together again post-Astral plane, I just feel like Syd and Oliver are going to be hanging out a lot, especially since she's been avoiding David— Oliver's really the closest thing to a best friend she has at Summerland now (though also now she has Allison!). I did throw that soup-making scene into Chapter 2, but I love the idea that it's just COMMON for them to be doing father/daughtery stuff around all the time, and maybe you'll see more of it in the chapters to come.

20. Which work of yours have you reread the most? None are really sticking out. Either "New World Symphony" or "Beginning of Something…"

21. How many kudos in total did you get this year? Again with I KNOW I'm going to get a boatload in this last week on the Yuletide, and I just posted another new fic that has gotten two kudos in the twenty-four hours since I posted it, so— as of me writing this it's 156. Oh, and that's just on new fics! I got a lot of kudos on old fics, too! ("The Invitation" is still going strong at #1)

22. Which work has the most comments? Currently (again, Yuletide people are so good at leaving comments, so this may change in the next week) it's "The Beginning of Something Else Entirely" with 36! And most are from Legion fans! Holy Legion fans Batman! To cross your Marvel/DC streams!

23. Did you do any collaborative works this year? Yes, technically! The TUA Masked Author event was focused on Remixes, and I did TWO! One was an elaboration on a drabble written by @faithfulcat111 , the other was an actual piece of VISUAL ART based on @destinyandcoins' "Notes from Nowhere" when I realized I could actually do art for it that didn't require me to draw people!

24. Did you write any gifts this year? YES BUT I CAN'T TELL YOU WHAT YET. Unless you count the remixes, which were also kind of gifts for their original writers. I mean I would have considered a remix of my work a gift at least.

25. Did you receive any gifts this year? Yes! TWO! One proper Yuletide gift and a BONUS one in Yuletide Madness! I do a happy dance! But I can't actually read them for another couple of days! I'm still so delighted though!

26. What’s your most common category? Gen

27. What do you listen to while writing? This year I listened to my Legion playlist (combining the actual score-soundtrack with the needle-drops) a LOT lot while writing "The Beginning of Something Else Entirely," because Viktor is also listening to it in the story. But to be honest I listened to the Legion playlist a lot when I WASN'T writing, too. IT'S JUST SUCH A GOOD SOUNDTRACK!

28. Favorite work you wrote this year? Eh, tie between "Beginning" and "New World Symphony." Depends on what I'm more in the mood for. That goes back to the one I reread the most question, doesn't it.

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year? Okay, the next survey breaks this question down farther, into beginning lines, ending lines, dialogue, and funny bits, so see down there, but I guess I can put my favorite lines that aren't any of those four things here:

He giggled, and Five set a new goal for the week: to make the little Russian boy laugh at every opportunity. —that was my ship threatening to slip in the otherwise platonic "What's In a Name?"

Less hopeless than he thinks? What did that mean? He'd have to deflect and think about it later. —Just the right amount of a look at the way Klaus works.

Blonde, conventionally pretty. The kind of girl she used to have to Rumor studio execs into not wanting as their lead. —Allison's first impression of Syd is just exactly what she would think.

[Allison to Syd Re: the Birds]: "You're their daughter?" Syd startled, then slowly broke into a wry smile. "Well….Yes." She nodded sharply, as if she'd only just decided this. "In a way. The Birds have been second parents to me. Sometimes more literally than others." --Because! Like I said in #19 above. I just feel like Syd genuinely considers the Birds to be her parents now, and she's maybe not put it into words until this moment.

It wasn't like someone could sneak up on Viktor. Especially not someone with his own musical motif— a high, looping piano, melodic lines joining in canon. —there is so much potential for the ways Viktor's powers could work, and I love coming up with new ones.

"OH." Cary's eyes lit up. He started shaping an imaginary sphere in his hands. "I invented— but I didn't, you see, that's the fascinating part— this orb came from the future to kidnap David and warn him about this— catastrophic future if he didn't— well, I don't know, but I do know my own work, and I could tell I invented it— but that future never happened and I never did invent the orb, but the orb itself," he emphatically tapped the table, "remained." —It's just so Cary, and I've missed writing Cary.

On the lower level was a big round atrium with a large tableau in the center: a hill of real plants and trees and taxidermied mountain goats, as if the building in the middle of the forest couldn't bear to remain separated from the forest by anything as silly as walls. —sometimes I write good description. Actually is this good description or just nicely metaphorical description?

"And, Viktor—” She leaned in. “When I say 'power,' I'm not just talking about the ability to manipulate energy waves. You have power just by existing in the world— in a society. In a family. You've always had that power, even when you felt the most powerless. What you choose to do— or not to do— can have huge effects on those around you, whether you realize it or not." —Melanie is directing this right through the screen at ME.

"Not me. I don't get to be loved. I don't get to be happy. I am…fated to wander from universe to universe, alone. I can't even get annihilated from existence properly!" —best single line of angst I wrote this year.

And the whole of Viktor discovering smart phones in "New World Symphony."

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year? I don't know. I am tempted to answer with some interesting facts I learned while writing my Yuletide piece. Oh, here's one: when I was first writing David and Viktor's conversation in "Beginning" Chapter 2, and suddenly realized I'd been writing Divad instead of David Prime the whole time.

ALRIGHTY THEN, here's Survey Set #2!

1.How many fics have you worked on since January? Maybe…9? 10 if you count "happy birthday" as a fic? I have a couple side things going on in the "Beginning of Something Else" crossover universe that I'm not sure how much count as separate. —Actually one of those was "Did Anyone Ever Tell You You Look Just Like Aubrey Plaza?" which I just posted.

2. What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year? It's not something new to ME, but I never POSTED a fic written in script form before "Brother and Also Brother Home for Christmas."

3. What piece of media inspired you the most? (This can be the fandom you wrote the most for, the one that spawned the most ideas, the one you thought about the most, etc.) I guess Umbrella Academy, by sheer numbers.

4. How many fandoms did you write for this year? Just three (and two of those in the same fics). Or at least I POSTED fics for just three— worked on some others.

5. What ships captured your heart? Um, nobody new. I'm still not a shipper, and I'm still inexplicably obsessed with Fiktor.

6. What characters captured your heart? All…of them? I've never written so much Klaus before this year, and he kind of writes himself, which is quite fun, so maybe I'll go with Klaus.

7. Did you write for any new fandoms or ships this year? Nope. Spoilers for Yuletide I guess— yep it's one I've written for before. But I have quite a few obscure or at least rarely-written fandoms on my list so don't get cocky.

8. What fic meant the most to you to write? I think— I think this question is making me oddly uncomfortable actually. It's probably "The Beginning of Something Else Entirely," because it was my response to TUA Season 4 and there was so much negativity around so I was like "No, see this? I've got an idea. I'm gonna make it work. It's gonna be great." And I think I put a little too much on its metaphorical shoulders, and I got a little desperate, like I was going to save the fandom, but nobody actually cared so I got all Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria about it, like everyone was yelling "STOP TRYING TO MAKE 'Everyone loves Beginning…' HAPPEN! IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!" But then, like I said above, the Legion fans found it and made me remember everything I loved about it, so now I'm just writing it for the fun of it again.

9. What fic made you feel the happiest to work on? Conversely, "New World Symphony" was really just for my own enjoyment, and it's very happy because things are actually working out WELL for everyone for once, so I think that one was the most pure enjoyment.

10. What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing? Not sure any really fits the bill. Getting the Yuletide fic in on time was satisfying for that reason, but also unsatisfying because I know I could make it better if I just had more time…!

11. What fic was the most difficult to write? I don't think the fic ITSELF was difficult to write, but real life and the writing of my Yuletide fic were vying VERY hard for my attention. It was down to the wire, and I really wish I'd gotten more of the fic done BEFORE the last minute when I've also been prepping for Christmas.

12. What fic was the easiest to write? Not actually sure. Oh, now that "Did Anyone Ever Tell You You Look Just Like Aubrey Plaza?" exists— that one. Like I said, Klaus writes himself, Lenny almost writes herself (she's so much more crass than I am that it does take a LITTLE work to get in the mindset), and this totally crack conversation between the two of them definitely wrote itself.

13. What were your shortest and longest fics posted this year? See 14 and 13 in set 1.

14. What were your go-to writing songs? As 27 in the first list said, I listened to the Legion playlist on shuffle. But if I had to pick just one song, at least to start, I'd usually go with "Darkness (Full Suite)" because it captured the whole mood best, and was also instrumental so perhaps better for writing than the needle drops. Though if I was putting the playlist on and NOT necessarily trying to write, I usually started with "Undiscovered First." For no reason other than I love it. (I just looked at the comments on that YouTube video and 2/3 of them are "Who's here from Legion????")

15. What was the hardest fic to title? "The Beginning of Something Else Entirely." I even put up a Tumblr poll.

16. What's your favorite title of the year? See #6 in Set 1.

17. Share your favorite opening line: "Klaus had more experience with the Afterlife than any living person, and this wasn't it." This is the only one I don't feel compelled to give multiple answers for, because how can you beat that?

18. Share your favorite ending line: My ending lines suck in comparison. Plus I have this problem of extending my natural endings with little epilogues. For example, I think my answer to this is from "What's In a Name?" which emotionally ends with, "They could make of themselves whomever they wanted to be," which is a GREAT closing line on its own. But then I add this little scene:

The three giggled through the keynote speech, drawing a cumulatively bizarre caricature of the speaker together. Ben had started the doodle, then encouraged the others to collaborate. It was silly and subversive and utterly language-barrier-demolishing. The tall blonde boy who’d joined their table waved impatiently backward at them, keeping his eyes dutifully on the keynote speaker. “Tyst! Our lecturer is speaking!” Ben added the tall boy to the doodle.

—which I ALSO love, actually, but it's much less of a closing line. Also, yes, that was Luther making a little cameo there. Don't know how subtle or not it was. I figured pointing out that his nametag had a Swedish flag and an aerospace symbol on it would be a little too obvious. The other ending vying for this answer is from my Yuletide story, which has even LESS of a standout ending line and is more like Very Short Concluding Scene than Epilogue too, but I love the imagery of it. Tell ya later.

19. Share your favorite piece of dialogue: Conversely, my dialogue is my favorite part of my writing, because it tends to come easiest, and is basically hearing the characters in your head so— I have a lot of contenders, but I think I'm going to go with this scene (first speaker is David Haller, I add since he doesn't get a tag until far into the conversation):

"I heard about what's going on with you and your wife. And all I can say is, time travel sucks ass." The irritable jitters were back. "Hey, let me pose a scenario for you guys. Is it cheating to hook up with a future version of your own girlfriend?" Diego and Luther exchanged a glance. "What, like…in the future?" "Whenever. She came from the future. You went to— time travel. It's confusing, is what I'm saying." Luther frowned, and drew in the air as if connecting the dots. "Well, is that really different than hooking up in the future without time travel?" "That's what I said! But if there's also a version of you in her future, who's very different from you now—" "So you're cheating on yourself?" Diego clarified. "No, they broke up. And that future ended up not happening." "So it's a separate timeline." "But they're still the same person," Luther offered. "Wait, no. That's like saying our Ben and Sparrow Ben are the same person." "But aren't they? In a way?" "No." "But you're talking about two versions of a guy who was raised differently from birth," David said. "I'm talking about a potential future version of the same girl." "So she was going to turn into the future one?" "She didn't. But she could have, is the thing." Diego shook his head. "Damn. Time travel." Luther looked sympathetic. "I'm sure if you just explained to her—" "Hah. Too late for that. She's gotten all kinds of new ways to be pissed at me since. This is where Divad used to butt in to remind us that we're fundamentally unlovable, but no, he's trying to self-actualize or some shit now don't even think of it, Divad, it's my turn, we need to be angry."

I love it for so many reasons. First, it just flows nicely, like you can hear these guys having this "philosophical" discussion, it's just how it would go. Second, I kind of lied about the first speaker, because it IS technically David, but he switches to Dvd during the first sentence (find the moment!), and it amused me that Diego and Luther are completely oblivious to the fact that this guy's alter personalities are having an argument right in front of them. Third, the seeming randomness of the topic, which sounds theoretical at first, unless you know (or until you realize) that it's not theoretical, and this has been nagging at David— or at least at Dvd— for a year or so and suddenly he's talking to someone ELSE facing time-travel-complicated-fidelity-issues so he can't resist getting an outside perspective.

Runner up: every single conversation Oliver Bird has with anyone whatsoever. Wait, I'm going to give you a preview of "Beginning" chapter 4, because this is exemplary of one of those times I just kept squeeing "I LOVE WRITING OLIVER" after:

"She's right, you know." "What?" He turned to see Oliver Bird poking his head out of a room. "Your— what should you call her. Conscience?" "You heard… Delores?" "Is that her name? Old-fashioned, but charming. Our Lady of Sorrows. Martini?"

20. Share your funniest line: Hard to choose, first being that I don't know that I'm the best judge of my own humor; second being that they inevitably are probably all in my Yuletide fic, which is the only straight-up comedy I wrote this year. Again, I'll get back to you on that.

21. What's something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story? I answered the first part in 30 above, but it DID change the story a bit, in that it made me way more aware of which of David's alters might be fronting at any time, and I realized I could do more with them intentionally. For example, the scene at breakfast referenced two questions ago.

22. What writing programs did you use? Did you write by hand? I keep most of my stuff in Scrivener, because I love the ease of adding interconnected files and pages, particularly as I tend to write out of order. I compile it into Word before printing and/or posting it. And I do write by hand, usually in the middle of a draft, when I have the basic shape of the chapter/work down and need to fill in the gaps. I also edit by hand.

23. If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year? What drives me nuts is that I had an answer to this— I remember distinctly feeling "Wow, was THAT satisfying to write!"— but I forget what it was, now. Maybe Viktor and David's conversation in "Beginning" chapter 2. Talking to a guy with a dissociative disorder was REEEELY enlightening for Viktor on a lot of levels.

24. Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic? When I posted my Yuletide entry, I went to bed. It FELT like a special thing to do!

25. How did you recharge between fics? I was so busy in real life I don't think I noticed much. I just wrote whatever I felt like writing in the moment.

26. Did you create fanworks other than fic? *preens* as referenced in 14 and 23 in the previous survey, I made an Art!

27. How many events did you take part in? (bangs, exchanges, ship weeks, zines, prompt memes, they all count!) Two! The TUA Masked Author and Yuletide!

28. If this were an awards show, who would you thank? First I'd like to thank @versaphile for doing all the research and posting it on AO3 on How the freak to write David Haller (Not to mention the deeper characterizations of his alters in "When My Fist Clenches…" which I was probably drawing on even subconsciously). And secondly, to Guest User Valerie, who's most recent comment on "Beginning…" was just what I needed to hear to stop feeling like it was all Pointless, made me feel motivated again. And thirdly, @sunnymarbles, who was sitting across the room most of the time I was writing and gamely put up with me speaking my thoughts out loud and occasionally asking them questions like "Which one of these concepts is funnier?" and also supplying a made-up brand name for my Yuletide fic.

29. What's left on your to-do list for 2024? My annual round-up post of life events and media reviews!

30. What would you like to write next year? Continue "Beginning" and "New World Symphony" and maybe get back to "Captain with Seven Children." And as I've said for like the past three years now, I SWEAR I'm going to update "Tesseract" and finally post "Child of Hypnos"! But maybe this time I mean it!

[whimsicaldragonette]

ARC Review: The Broposal by Sonora Reyes

Publication Date: January 21, 2025

Synopsis:

In this Latinx adult romance debut from National Book Award Finalist Sonora Reyes, two friends enter into a marriage of convenience to save one from deportation—but everything changes when they unexpectedly fall in love. Alejandro (Han for short) has never been in love. He purposefully keeps his heart at arm’s length from anyone who might want it, which he lets his family and friends think is due to commitment-phobia paired with a heavy dose of emotional constipation. Now, though, he's coming to learn that it might have more to do with his fear of looking too deeply inward, whether that be his sexuality (he's straight, right?), or the looming anxiety about being undocumented in an increasingly hostile environment. On the other hand, Han’s roommate and best friend, Kenny, is stuck in a soul-sucking relationship with a woman who wants nothing more than for Kenny to ditch Han and marry her. Kenny can't stand being alone, and has always been afraid of being punished for making the wrong choice, so his girlfriend happily makes most of his decisions for him. But when she forces his hand and makes him choose between their relationship and his best friend, he finally knows without a doubt who the correct choice is. But things aren’t as easy as they should be with Kenny's ex out of the picture. When Han loses the job that had promised to sponsor his work visa, it leaves the two of them anxious as ever. In order to give his best friend a chance at security (and ok, maybe to make his ex a little jealous), Kenny asks Han to marry him. But neither of them are prepared for the very real feelings pretending to be madly in love stirs up.

My Review:

★★★★

This book was a lot heavier than I was expecting which made it difficult to read in the past few weeks, while everything we've taken for granted is so heavy and in so much upheaval. I was like I'll read a queer book to help ease my heart but that… didn't work so well.

Parts of this did in fact ease my heart and make me forget about current affairs. Kenny and Han had such a great caring relationship, and the scenes between them were great.

I would get really into the story and forget the real-world happenings, and then ICE would be brought up and it would be a gut-punch reminder of oh, right, that's what our world is like now. And then I'd get sucked into the story again.

Han being undocumented and scared about ICE discovering him, enough that he couldn't go to the hospital when he broke his ankle so it never healed properly, was hard to read, especially in our current political atmosphere. And the way that was used to threaten him was horrid.

I really liked how most of the characters were Latinx. It immediately created a sense of community that added some much-needed comfort to the book.

Kenny's abusive ex Jackie really threw a wrench in things, and it was hard to watch him trying to stand up to her. She was just so over-the-top evil, though. The second half was hard to read because she just wouldn't go away.

Also, I felt like a lot of situations were glossed over so we didn't really have to delve into feelings or have heart to hearts. Kenny and Han would just suddenly fake a fight or make a joke and run away? That was a little weird. I just wanted them to open up emotionally. I mean the reasons they struggle with that are good, so I understand why they didn't, but it was frustrating.

For all of that, it had a lot of heart and touched on a lot of issues that I care about. I couldn't help but like Kenny and Han. And I really liked Letty. They should have been on page more.

I think I might have had an easier time really getting into the book and enjoying it more if we weren't living in the times we are living in.

The audiobook was really well done. The narrators did a great job bringing Kenny and Han to life. Listening helped with the immersion and with forgetting about the world.

Overall, this was a really good read. I would just recommend saving it for a time when the country isn't in such upheaval.

*Thanks to Forever and Hachette Audio for providing an early copy for review.

[bellsofficialbalaclava]

it genuinely isn't talked about enough, the scene in MW3 where Price directly threatens Yuri and the scenes that happen immediately afterwards.

"Alright, you're good. For now." [still aiming point-blank at him]

"Hurry up. If you die here I won't wait for you." He was NEVER like this in previous missions. He refuses to even look Yuri in the eye as he says this as if too disgusted to see his face. A reasonable argument could be made "but they're on a mission, he doesn't want to get sidetracked!"

As I said, this makes sense. But the word choice? That seeping sense of disgust into his voice? That wasn't accidental. He wasn't just miscommunicating there, he was pissed the fuck off. For a while there, he genuinely did not give a rats ass if Yuri died under his watch, and secretly hoped he would. Sure, on a tactical part he knew he'd probably die if he had to do it alone. But he's human at the end of the day- on a more personal, emotional level, he hated him.

And the way, at Yuri's death, he finally shows some kind of "remorse" for being too harsh after learning about his past. He panics almost (though not the same) as much as he did when Soap died. Something like "No, no, no! Stay with me! Please! We can make it out of here, Yuri! Come with me!"

And Yuri sacrifices himself. He says it's a waste of time. To chase Makarov, himself can just die here. There's no time. Ending WWIII is more important than a dead comrade.

And again, yes, it's true that Price spends a lot less time wallowing in grief over Yuri than he did Soap, significantly less. But he only knew Yuri for.. what, 2 weeks? A month at very most? And most missions, they weren't even together. Soap, on the other hand, he'd known for years- since right after he passed Basic. Soap was almost a son to him.

But he STILL. He STILL felt bad for Yuri, after everything he did. He didn't see Yuri as an "enemy" of sorts since he found his explanation plausible and trusted he no longer had associations with Makarov. Even after Price's whole sentiment about how taking a human life is a very complex moral subject and shouldn't be the default, about how everyone has consciousness and that should be respected- Yuri sacrificed himself to die in pain, ALONE, in a COLLAPSING BUILDING, for the "greater good."

Because let's admit it. Without medical attention within the next 15 minutes, Yuri would be dead. He NEEDED immediate attention. It was him, or Makarov. You couldn't choose both.

We don't even get confirmation at the end of what TRULY happens after Makarov is killed. Is Yuri given a burial? Does the entirety of WW3 end (discarding the Peace Treaty, which already "officially" ended it)?

Also, did anyone else notice the big red "DISAVOWED" banner across TF141 was removed for the last mission, after saving the President?

That HAS to mean something. It can't have been lazy scripting to "forget" conveniently to put it there.

Does Price survive with his injuries? Nikolai, Soap, Ghost, Roach, and Yuri are all K.I.A. Price is the sole living member of the 141 remaining, and he's injured. Do they get a proper burial? Are they ever even found, or are their corpses left to decay? If it's the former, how long does it take before some official comes in to scout the building and finds Makarov dead, officially marking him as deceased on government files? Plus, let's be real here- would his death be marked a suicide? It kinda looks like it- but Price "conveniently" bleeding out from broken glass nearby, the SAME GLASS from the hole Makarov fell down from, is quite suspicious.

Does the TF141 get new members to replace the old? If Price survives, does he retire after this and never go on another mission again, since he's "done what he had to" in his own eyes?

We know that, officially speaking, Price was NOT ordered to kill Makarov post-Treaty. That was a personal decision, driven by spite and hatred alone. It was personal, no longer for "keeping everyone safe" but on a PERSONAL level, he had no "moral" or "political" backing for himself, it was an emotionally driven attack based on spite incarnate- the European Union would have some.. choice words to say about that, to say the least. If he lived, anyway, which is statistically and biologically improbable without urgent medical care.

Back to *IF* he gets found, dead or alive. Is he remembered as a hero? Forgotten and disregarded? Is Makarov's death written in history textbooks, or just some scrabbly handwriting in the corner of a used sticky note?

Despite the seemingly "straightforward" ending, I have so many questions. It's not a cliffhanger, but it feels like it was. I was so absorbed in the plot that I didn't notice how low-grade the graphics were.

[theflyindutchwoman]

It's been a while without the rookie so between the fanfics, the wishes for chenford and the ideas of what chenford could be and others shows who focus more on relationships, maybe it got lost that the rookie isn't as angsty that what some peoples think it is right now. Angela/wesley for the past 3 seasons, nolan/bailey in s4 with the ex husband, they got their up and downs but they don't break up. Once they have their endgames the show don't throw breakups for the fun or angst of it. The show priorites isn't relationships dramas, if it was they could have done SO MUCH MORE in s4 with chris,ashley and chenford. This is also why I respectfully don't understand peoples who think a breakup would be fun for angst because the only angst you'll have is them looking at each other for 3 sec if we are lucky like in 5x3 and then they'd be off doing their cops things. Waiting week after weeks for this would be boring and annoying as hell after waiting 5 years. And I know some peoples are worried about it, but a breakup wouldn't be spoiled.

Honestly, I just think people were simply stating what they wished to see. Someone asked them a question and they answered. It was about their preferences… I know that when I received a similar ask in the past, the logistics of the show didn't necessarily factor in my reply.

I can't speak for anyone who would like to see a breakup - or anyone else for that matter - but I think it's pretty fair to assume that what they want is a separation that makes sense, that is properly developed, with decent screentime and a real storyline that involves far more than just 3 seconds of pining here and there. The same way I want to see Lucy and Tim face some ups and downs : it's under the assumption that it is going to be written in a beautiful way and not rushed. And it is technically doable. Take episodes 5.08 to 5.12 for instance : Tim and Lucy had a fair amount of screentime dedicated to their relationship. The writers could easily use that same amount for a more angsty storyline or a breakup. Especially if it's related to UC : it could be linked to a case. A bit like 5.20 and 5.21. Though a shorter season does present a bigger challenge, that's for sure.

And you're right, the show doesn't really do 'breakups/reconciliation' storylines. Actually, it doesn't really do 'breakups'… Rachel, Gino and Isaac are still waiting for one. Jokes aside, the show did have a storyline like this for Wesley/Angela, but that was at the very beginning… I don't know if Bailey/Nolan broke up once it was revealed she was still married, but since it was solved by the next episode, I guess it's a moot point. Same with Nyla/James. And with her sleeping with her ex-husband, there was a reason to go there (though I'm grateful we were spared a 'who's the father' storyline). All these arcs could have been much more dramatic, that's for sure. So far, the show hasn't really leaned into that side. That's why I'm a bit sceptical that they would do a plotline like this. On the other hand, Tim and Lucy's relationship has been far more developed… So it wouldn't be completely beyond the realms of possibility either.

I also doubt that Eric would spoil something like that. More than once. Then again, this is the same guy who made a video last year with his new uniform, spoiling his promotion in the process. So who knows?! I have to say though, the timing of this makes me curious. As far I can tell, he only started talking about breakups after he was directly asked about his opinion on the matter. Not before. I mean, I may be wrong on the timeline here since I don't check his cameos. But that's the way it appeared to me. It could be that he received more information in-between… In which case, talk about perfect timing. That said, I get why some would rather be prepared or are worried. That's not my place to judge them.

(I won't take the risk of tagging anyone here, not in this volatile atmosphere, but feel free to pitch in or correct me).

[toastytrusty]

if u have any more romelukas headcanons to share I would love to hear them 👀 this ship is so underrated

oooooo okokok omg

to #me they started getting close before the gojo deal, with rome kinda seeking lukas out now and then when he needed to get away from Family Drama (tm), and lukas always let him because at least with roman around things are a little less boring. personality wise they keep each other in check really well, roman having a kind of delusional manic optimism towards the world and lukas having a much more nihilistic realistic worldview. they balance each other out yk. i think lukas probably had a thing for rome pretty early on but rome is so oblivious to both lukas' feelings and his own and also is on the aroace spectrum (ace panaroflux) and just. does Not pick up on Anyyything so they suffer the necessary queer situationship for like a year. rome is also probably very flippant and dismissive of lukas trying to connect, because he is just. so scared of attatchment and being genuine. but they'd do mundane shit like watch movies and play video games and go boating on that bigass lake. lukas would try to get rome to open up to him but he never would, not yet at least.

i think romes explosion on the mountain started a kind of a temporary fall out period; lukas realized rome was not like. in a good enough mental place or situation with his family to persue any real relationship so they both kinda back off but but it also makes lukas want the company even more bc he realizes how badly rome needs out of it.

after the gojo deal i think rome takes a lot of time away from the company and his family and everyone he knows in general, maybe for about a year, just kinda traveling the world and learning how to be a person without anyone else's influence, because he needs that. get a dog, eat some steak, yk. not talking to anyone, just off on his own. i think what would eventually draw him back is shiv's baby; it would probably take him a few months to actually see them, but once he did he would realize how badly he missed having people around him, and even though he didn’t regret his journey of self discovery, he knew he was done with it. after spending a few weeks with shiv and baby, he would find himself reaching back out to lukas, and eventually make his way to wherever tf lukas lives in sweden, and kinda just. never leaves.

i imagine roman would move in without ever really making it a thing? he would just show up one day and follow lukas around, and lukas would never really comment on it or ask where he was or why he suddenly wanted to stay. maybe he had a guest house or guest room waiting, hoping that rome would come back eventually. rome never reapplies for waystar or any of lukas' various assets, he is chronically unemployed and just. hangs out. they give each other something to do; hiking and late night campfires and general company through all things. it's like a petty unspoken challenge to see how long they can go without either of them acknowledging that there is anything past Pals going on. like gay chicken except they are actually gay. i see them as endgame in the way that they never really. Acknowledge? anything between them? they just kiss and hold hands and sleep in the same bed every night. but like, in a bro way. totally. don't think too hard about it. over time they come to understand each other better than anyone else and spend like all their time together.

i can totally see roman spontaneously proposing out of the blue one day, in the way he did with both tabitha and gerri, a kind of insecure need to be reassured that he isn't going to be abandoned, as well as having this kind of transactional perspective on relationships and being deserving of love. i feel like they could adopt a kid at some point, and compete to see who could be the better parent. roman would try sooooo hard to be a better dad than logan was and end up being really indulgent, and lukas would have to be the voice of reason. while roman would go for overcorrection to try and make up for his shitty childhood, i feel like lukas would be a lot more timid to be super involved, but would ease into it and do a really good job.

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #223

Are any of your friendships on a fine line? Nope! Very grateful for that.

If I search your room, will I find birth control? No. My pills are in the kitchen with my other meds.

Have you ever witnessed a birth? Only cats personally, other animals through videos that would circulate. I NEVER want to see a human birth, I don't even like seeing animals do it.

Are you often the last one to understand a joke? Yes, honestly. I wouldn't say always, but it definitely happens.

Have you ever slept in a tent, indoors or out? Yes to both. Never beyond my own yard though, haha. As kids, Dad would sometimes do it with us kids.

Are you mad right now? No.

Have you ever been on a farm? I have, briefly. We were picking up my sister from her friend's house, and she lived on a farm.

What are you listening to? I'm watching an episode of John Wolfe's Still Wakes the Deep LP.

Would you rather date someone five years older or five years younger than you? Older.

If you had to live off one type of fruit, which would you pick? Probably apples. I prefer strawberries and kiwi, but I more consistently enjoy apples.

How often do you drink Monster? I hate Monster. To be fair though, I'm not much better health-wise than Monster enjoyers, because after all, I fucking love Mountain Dew. So unhealthy it's not produced in I think the UK.

Are you short? I'm average height for a North American woman my age.

Can you ever get enough of mac ‘n’ cheese? I'm certain I could.

Are you allergic to nuts or dairy products? No.

Do you have trust issues? Yes, but they're not as bad as they were in the past. I also know that I tend to be maybe overly trusting towards women that appear motherly and very empathetic.

Do you think age matters in relationships? If a minor is involved, it absofuckinglutely does. Relationships with considerably large age gaps aren't for me personally, but adults can do what adults want in their own consenting relationships.

Has anyone ever called the cops on you? No.

Is the last person of the opposite sex you texted single? My dad is remarried.

Could you go a week without brushing your teeth? ... This is fucking humiliating, but I've done this. Executive dysfunction and debilitating depression. I paid for this though, I've had intense teeth work after this neglect, and it taught me good. I'm still not where I should be in caring for myself, but by god have I made progress.

Are you usually awake at midnight? Not usually, no.

Have you ever been peer pressured to smoke pot? No. I've never really been peer pressured, but even then, I've always been very good at sticking to my guns with this kinda stuff.

Do you ever actually drink milk alone? Yes, I love milk.

If you don’t have one already, would you consider getting an iPhone? No; I prefer Androids between the two.

What year were you born in? 1996.

Do you get jealous easily? Nah. I'm more prone to envy.

Have you ever done anything illegal? I've always been a person downloading shit illegally.

Do you use Twitter? No.

Who was the last person you hugged? My mom.

Do you listen to All Time Low? No.

Do you get leg cramps often? I've had a tendency lately of waking up and getting leg cramps? Especially if I stretch my leg even a smidge. It's not fun.

Have you ever met a celebrity? No.

Who was your first kiss? Jason, my first "real" boyfriend when I was 16.

What is your favourite food? I could say chocolate lmao, but that certainly doesn't count as like, real "food." My favorite *real* food is cheeseburgers, then I also like boneless hot wings and pizza and other unhealthy shit I shouldn't touch lol.

Do you use Skype? No.

Does it bother you when people have a collar turned up? The fuck should I care what people wear and how they wear it

As a kid did you like Barney, Baby Bop, or DJ more? Barney. I don't know what the other two are.

Have you been to the Bzoink Forums yet? I never had an account there, but I understand it shut down.

Have you ever pet a monkey? No.

Have you ever ridden a camel? No.

Do you like cupcakes? I do. I never knew I couldn't like cupcakes until my sister's husband made them for the kids, his are inedible to me.

Orange or lemon flavoring? Lemon.

Have you ever been to a Disney theme park? Disney World in Orlando.

Do you watch or listen to the news? No, shit's depressing.

What world issues concern you the most? A fucking lot, I don't even want to think of this right now.

Do you think that a woman can be an effective president? What a dumb fucking question.

Do you feel differently about love and sex now than you did at 17? OH YES

Would you ever join the military? Why or why not? lmfao hell no. Even if I was mentally well enough to join, I would never be fodder for the rich man's wars. They can solve their own goddamn problems without bringing violence into it. Maybe one day people in power will act like goddamn adults.

Do you or anyone you know play the violin? Not that I know of.

What is one of your favorite breakup songs? Maybe "If You Can't Hang" by Sleeping With Sirens, idk.

Are you someone who gets easily agitated by hearing someone chewing? Only if it's extremely obnoxious. Otherwise I don't tend to notice.

What's your favorite kind of oatmeal/porridge? Cinnamon apple. And it HAS to be cooked with milk, water is awful.

Have you ever ate a whole pizza in one sitting? No, at least, not a normal pizza. Maybe one of those smaller personal-sized pizzas you can get at the store.

What's something that always makes you cringe? Musicals. I wish I didn't have a cringe reaction to anything, cringe culture is so dumb.

What's something that always makes you emotional? Actually good dads. I didn't exactly get a great one.

What's your favorite pasta? Just normal spaghetti with tomato sauce and meatballs.

What's a social media site you have no interest in? Twitter.

Are you afraid of the dark? No.

Do you watch American Horror Story? No, I haven't for many years. I did enjoy the first season, though. Season two didn't do it for me (but I didn't finish it) and then I just didn't watch it after that.

Does your hometown have any urban legends/scary stories? My hometown is probably way too small for that.

What’s the scariest nightmare you remember having? I have some sort of condition where I have nightmares/terrors chronically so I could list plenty, but I don't want to. I just had one a few days ago that left me bawling to my mom.

Are you medicated? I've been bouncing between psych meds since fucking middle school.

Does your family/friends have a nickname for you? I mean, "Britt," but that's my nickname from everyone. My mom always gave her kids sweets nicknames though, and mine was "Twinkie." She still uses it occasionally lol.

Who’s some of your favorite YouTubers? I don't really watch Mark anymore, but Markiplier is still my favorite of all-time, I was fucking obsessed and he's still one of my biggest inspirations as a person. I love and respect him immensely. Some that are more relevant to me today include (in no real order) Game Grumps, Snake Discovery, John Wolfe, jacksepticeye, tarantula kat, NKFherping, Gab Smolders, others.

Do you have any phobias? Pregnancy, parasites (especially internal), vomit, general social phobia, whale sharks, slugs, heights (conditional), and I'm certain there's more I'm forgetting in the moment.

Are there any scented candles in the room you’re in? No.

Pancakes or French toast? Hmmm... I love both. I certainly eat more pancakes, though. I guess it depends on what I'm feeling at the time and how well they're prepared.

Did you have anything for breakfast today? Uh... what did I eat? Cereal, I think?

Are there any apps you’re addicted to? Not addicted, no. I have apps I like, but certainly no addictions to them. I know what addictions feel like, I'd know.

Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? Yes, a moose I got from a Cabela's store in Ohio that I named Brownie. I still have him and as I redecorate my room, I think I'm gonna sit him on my bedside table since it's kinda bare right now.

Do you still collect stuffed animals? Not so much anymore, but I CERTAINLY did growing up.

How do you feel about Spongebob? I love Spongebob, it has no reason to be as funny as it is for all ages imo lol. I don't seek out watching it, but it's on sometimes when Mom and I watch my sister's kids, and I enjoy it just fine. I watched it regularly growing up.

Do you have any nervous habits? Most prominently, I wring and knead my hands together. I avoid eye contact. I stutter. I sometimes even cry just because I'm uncomfortable. After getting gauges in my ears, me tampering with these became as common as messing with my hands.

Do you shape/fill in your eyebrows? No.

What’s your favorite comfort food to eat? Comfort food, ice cream. But my true comfort edible... thing is a drink, Mountain Dew Voltage.

What’s the last movie you watched in theaters? I literally have not been to the theater since I tried watching The Black Phone. I WANT to, badly, I was desperate to see the Barbie movie but didn't get to, and now I really wanna see Inside Out 2. We're just extremely in the hole money-wise right now, going to the theater isn't on our table right now.

Do you/did you ever have a Neopets account? Yes, I fucking loved Neopets growing up. I still love the art style and even tried making an account this past year, the naming system just annoyed me too much lmao, I gave up. I don't like adding numbers n shit to character names, it's just a pet peeve.

When’s the last time you were camping? I've never actually been camping.

Have you ever had eggs cooked over a campfire? No.

If you do drink, what’s your favorite alcoholic beverage? Sangrias. I only really like fruity stuff.

Are there any songs you’ve been listening to repetitively lately? I haven't been doing this too much lately, but the two I've been doing this most with lately is "Zwitter" and the full band version of "Los," both by Rammstein.

Do you have social anxiety? Severely. Severely. It's a lot more prominent offline than online, though. It is still very present online too though, especially when I'm dealing with unfamiliar people.

Have you ever had fried pickles? I have, but I don't think I've had good ones. To my memory, I wasn't impressed, and I know these are typically super adored.

Where’s your favorite place to go out to eat? Meh, depends on my mood. Most often I simply want McDonald's (I feel like I'm the only adult alive that genuinely enjoys McD's lmao), other times Bojangle's, but my favorite fast food place is actually Sonic, I'm just less often in the mood for it.

Cereal, granola, or oatmeal? I like all of these, but I definitely eat cereal the most.

[blackberrysummerblog]

Six Sentence Sunday

Thanks for the tag @captain-aralias! And thank you so much @aristocratic-otter, @shrekgogurt and @thehoneyedhufflepuff for tagging me on Wednesday. I’ve been a little down on myself this week for not getting more writing done, and I hate that I haven’t completed anything in a good month and a half. I guess that’s not true, I did manage to get my erotic gropefest entry in under the wire, I just haven’t been able to look at it since, lol. Anyway, no one wants to hear me whine.

I’d kind of like to talk about the crucible-marriage AU I keep posting bits from, but I doubt anyone needs to hear about my struggles with that either. The process has been very different from how I usually write, so maybe thinking out loud about it would help get me past the couple of issues I’m having and/or help me finish it, but I don’t know. I’ll hold off on unloading about it for now. In the meantime, so. No new writing to speak of, so I’m posting a little bit from earlier in the fic. It’s more than six sentences, sorry 😑 Simon discovered the Pitch’s pool and is gung-ho to get in, even though he can’t swim.

It’s true, the pool is well hidden, even from most of the house. You’d have to be looking out from the upstairs windows to make it out at all, and even then it’s fairly well obscured. It would be impossible to see if someone were skinny-dipping late at night, with the lights out…I cough, adjusting myself in my trunks. That line of thinking can only make things worse. I emerge from my own stall at the same moment that Simon thunders out of his, head and wings trapped inside his t-shirt. “Fucking hell!” he exclaims furiously.

I bite my lip. His legs and chest aren’t as pale as mine, but they’re a few shades lighter than his golden face and forearms. Simon’s thighs are thick and muscular, his shoulders and chest broad, but there’s just the faintest hint of pudge above the waistband of his trunks; Crowley, I would die for him. His curls are bouncing wildly over the top of the shirt’s neckhole as he careens from one side of the changing room to the next. Laughing, I grab him by the waist. “Snow! Breathe.”

He lifts his arms up and growls at me through thin white cotton. I pat where I think his cheek is and then stroke his shoulders. “Surely you get out of your shirts every night without help,” I say.

He struggles a moment, then stops once more. “I got overexcited,” he mumbles in an embarrassed voice. “I think one of my spikes is hooked in the cloth.”

“Let me check.” Fuck me, Simon Snow’s arse should be illegal. Not only is his decidedly bubble-shaped backside done every favor in the world by snug swim trunks, but said trunks are also resting low on his hips to let his tail swing loose. It coils firmly around my calf as I begin inspecting the lumpy, spiky heap of rucked-up cotton on his back. “Yes…here. I think I have it. Calm down and stay still, please.” Against my expectations, Snow actually does as I ask, though his tail does tighten its grip while I pick his wings free from the t-shirt. “There we go!”

Simon glances back at me sheepishly after pulling the shirt off. “Thanks, Baz.”

“Mm.” I rest my palm between his wings, feeling the taut muscles he must need to achieve flight. “You’re welcome, Snow.”

He turns toward me, close enough that I can feel the heat radiating off him as though he were made of fire. At this angle, he has to tip his chin up to look into my face, and I trace the underside of his lower lip with the pad of my thumb. His eyes flutter closed. ‘Baz…” he whispers.

“So,” I say, breaking away and digging through a bin by the door. “Water wings.” Snow recoils when I hold up a pair of bright yellow arm bands. I’m certain the vests we have wouldn’t fit his broad shoulders, never mind his very real wings. “Don’t give me that face; I’ll teach you how to swim!”

He fights me, and in the end the water wings prove sized only for the spindly arms of my young sisters, so Simon escapes through the poolhouse door, brimming with laughter and ready to sink.

Edited: I have literally no idea why tumblr keeps cutting off the parts of my posts where I write something after the snippet. I’m sorry I didn’t tag anyone, but I really do love reading/seeing everything you all post! It’s a bright spot in my day ❤️

[otakween]

Digital Monsters Card Game Ver. WonderSwan Color

Another stupidly named Digimon game. This one was so fun!! I technically started it exactly a month ago, but there was also a week break in there, so it took me around 3 weeks to finish.

Difficulty-wise this game was kind of strange. I feel like it was like 40% strategy and 60% luck. I guess a lot of card games are like that. I will admit, I did use some save state trickery to get through a few battles, but only because each one took like 20 minutes (real time) to beat and having to start from scratch because of one stupid move was devastating at times. In the end though, I got pretty darn good at the game and could hold my own without relying too much on emulator tricks.

Notes:

I'm totally not a TCG person IRL, so it's such a pleasant surprise to me that I'm loving these card-based video games! Of course they're not going to win in terms of things like story or visuals, but the gameplay is so satisfying! Most games let me zone out, but these really require focus and brain power.

Not a lot of people are talking about this game, but the gamefaqs are still really good, so kudos to the people on there. I also watched a bit of a German let's play lol

Not gonna lie, this game has a VERY steep learning curve at the start. It was my first vertical Wonderswan game so just figuring out the controls was tricky. I then had to learn a whole new TCG system because this Digimon game is different from past digimon games. I think I was most confused with what to do with the cards that assist in digivolving, even now I don't fully get them. I basically lost a lot at first while I was figuring things out. No perfect score for me!

You get a decent starter deck at the start of the game and you can auto-build decks which helps things be less overwhelming. I chose Terriermon because I love him. He served me well.

The UI for this game was really nice once I got the hang of things. I felt that decks were a lot easier to edit than past games and the cards were organized very nicely. I loved being able to pull up the card art which perfectly fit the vertical Wonderswan and the holo-cards were also a nice touch.

I never ended up beating Impmon...oops. This game has a lot of "optional" battles. There's one you can only beat after you've beat 80 battles but like...I have a life, so no thanks (I left the game at 25 battles).

Takeru was randomly the hardest opponent in the game and he was like...very early in the game. He was the one I had to use save states on the most I think. Tricky bastard.

You can obtain cards via passwords found on the actual IRL cards themselves and I think that's pretty genius. Of course, I just pulled the cards up online lol.

The option cards in this game allowed for a lot of interesting strategies. I liked that I could beat an ultimate at champion level by playing my cards right. It was also satisfying that if you beat a digimon of a higher level, their "loss points" would go down faster.

I think I'm done with the Wonderswan games, woohoo!! It will be interesting to see what other card games are out there on more modern systems. I give this one (not typing that name out again lol) a 7 out of 10!

[harrypotterfuryroad]

fjakdsfjkl they're checking children's genitals in Ohio & florida and y'all radfems totally sided with them to get it done, much like your calls for censorship silenced lesbian authors in the nineties (see the feminist sex wars/porn wars and/or struggles of the little sisters canadian bookshop).

wow, amazing. you STILL, even after fucking LINKING it, very obviously failed to read the whole thing. she absolutely described radical feminist ideology. and being well-read is something you guys pride yourselves on...that's pretty sad. i'm not even saying this is a premier source against your crock of shit ideology; i frequently cite many others. yet you failed--multiple times, now--to properly read the one single tumblr post i brought to your attention.

by far the most obnoxious conversation to have with you people is the "sex is binary" conversation. it's so eerily like talking to the scientologist freaks i grew up around, it's like a deja vu nightmare. biology is complex. also, it doesn't care. not "it doesn't care and that's why women are fucked by it!" no, it just doesn't fucking care. period. it's neutral. why in hell are you treating biological sex like it's spiritual...oh, that's right, because of your incessant and childish need to feel like a victim, which matters more than other people and certainly more than the truth. intersex people exist. you guys deny it alot, but they do. they're about as common as redheads. are redheads fucking fictitious, "harrypotterfuryroad"?

i am a cis woman, and i'm annoyed with what influence (feeble though it is, it's still important because you quite literally endanger lives) you've managed to have over the very important, real conversation about systemic misogyny. the irony is that you have made it harder to talk about. you have hindered progress. by oppressing women you have *omg you'll never guess, cue drumroll* fucking oppressed women.

as that post said, you don't own the definition of womanhood. society does. and it and i (hello, a cis woman born with your same genitals and born into the same oppression you've faced, not that it matters!) don't agree with you. get the fuck over yourself and grow up.

name one radfem that supported genital checks and follow that up by explaining why men belong in women's sports in the first place

and am i supposed to be shocked that anti-porn feminists were anti-porn regardless of who was producing it? are you shocked? did you think you had some kind of gotcha by saying that anti-porn arguments were coopted by homophobes? that horse is long past dead

she described it, sure, but she didn't define it. and a lot of those descriptive statements were total asspulls anyway. like, imagine you ask me what a square is, and i give you "it isn't a circle," "sometimes they're blue," and "they're related to trapezoids" as descriptive statements. all of these can be true, but they're not useful in gauging if i actually know what makes a square a square. so yeah i'm gonna go ahead and reject a pile of descriptive and spuriously ascriptive statements as a coherent definition, thanks. throwing out things like "TERFs think they're leftists" and "TERFs are inherently fascist" doesn't give any clear picture of what (again) a radfem is, especially with the implicit split between radfems and "TERFs"

and likewise i'll breeze right past your attention-grabbing link to scientology, i posted a few weeks ago about why that isn't productive without much more detail. i'm not treating biology like it's spiritual; i'm treating sex like it's binary. you're the one taking that spiritually by acting like i'm making some kind of individual moral judgment based on it. the redhead frequency thing is fucking stupid, because just like redheads still have hair, intersex people are still male or female (and they're also not there to be used as pawns by you)

also please tell me how it's been made harder to talk about systemic misogyny with specific examples because i'm curious about that

and finally the womanhood thing was the exact line that made it clear that the writer of that post had no idea what she was talking about. the boundaries that feminists have drawn around womanhood are really lenient and really broad. nothing about behavior or dress or class or race disqualifies you from "womanhood." there's no wrong way to be a woman except by being male, and there's no point in taking that personally

[my-time-at-brainrot]

my sandrock ocs and their pairings  :)

also a wip doodle of sonia and fang lmao

(current patch spoilers under cut)

Sonia and Fang, main save and also the one I care the most about lmao

Completely opposite personalities: Sonia has pretty much limitless energy, can talk for hours off of one tangent, very extroverted, just really excited to be around people and likes getting to know all sorts of folks, while Fang is... not any of that.

Both are the type to get absorbed into their work, but Fang gets in his own head over whether or not he's done something wrong to make Sonia stay away, but in reality Sonia kinda just forgot that she existed for a week lol

Tangentially related to the above: Sonia is so incredibly clumsy in day to day life. She trips over her own feet, falls out of chairs, stumbles when she stands in the same spot for too long, walks into walls, stubs her toes, etc. Fang first saw this after Sonia fell off of the observation table at his clinic, and thought that she had some type of balancing issue, but in actuality she just doesn't pay attention when she feels comfortable.

Because of this Fang is understandably Very Anxious about Sonia being involved with the Civil Corps, even though she is very much capable of keeping herself alive in combat situations

Sonia is usually the one making date plans, which both parties are happy about, though Sonia would like Fang to be more open about his needs.

sonia, preparing for a dangerous event: "nah dude, dude, dude i'm fine, i have hella plot armor i'm aight dude trust me"  

fang, remembering their last date at the saloon where sonia dunked her hand into blazing hot coffee after being warned that it was in fact boiling hot not once, not twice, but five times by owen: "...no."

As far as Fang's canon romance storyline goes: Fang slowly comes out of his shell over the course of Sonia's time at Sandrock, and their friendship (and eventual romance) is a very slow burn (that I still have to outline but I'll get to it when I get to it)

Sonia could not cook at all before coming to Sandrock. She ate raw potatoes out of the ground, dirt and all, "that's where the REAL nutrients are!" she would say. It was really only after Arvio's comedic failure with the Spicy Bean Paste that she gave cooking a genuine try. 

Fang was not aware of this until Juno joked about it during their first wedding anniversary. Something about Sonia putting in the time to develop a completely new skill on the off chance it could make him happy... made him emotional for a bit.  

There's one particular line from "Words to Betray the Heart" that say something about the Builder being so perfect and how Fang would be a burden on someone like that etc etc etc, and uh. Man. Can't really articulate it rn but in short it's rather important of a trigger for Sonia, so there's absolutely self esteem issues in both parties that have to get ironed out if this relationship can be healthy

Sonia did do the medical trials, and it went something like:

sonia: hm.

fang: ...

sonia: hey.

fang: ...?

sonia: i'm gonna drink all three of these at once.

fang: ?!?! 

sonia: *devours all contents of the bottles faster than lightning and passes out immediately*

fang: ?????????????? 

^ repeated for a comical amount of time until Fang finally bans her from FREE MED WEDNESDAY/FRIDAYS (TM)

Juno and Logan, the secondary save and heavily dependent on main story updates AND romance update in june/may :))))) so this is going to be rewritten without a question when the proper romance quests come out

so how normal are we about logan :)

Surface level: Juno is a Civil Corps monster hunter, Logan’s Pa was a monster hunter (and Logan is too lol) so they bond over sharing knowledge of the desert’s beasties and train together in remote areas of the desert.

Very early on, Juno develops a keen sense of... secrecy around Logan and the real nature of his departure and relationship to Sandrock as a whole, and ends up confiding in Elsie about his suspicions, but not much is really going on until Water Tower Moment (Gone Wrong)

Juno is, in short, the truest definition of orphan you can get. There is no one that ever knew his family, nor his parents’ names, or if he had any siblings. His memory only really starts around the time that he met Sonia, and being in Sandrock is only distressing him further about his lack of memories

That’s part of the reason that Juno is so drawn to Logan. The plot just doesn’t make sense to him. 

Can someone really love their Pa so much that the grief destroys everything they once loved? Can Juno ever know that type of love? (and other hurty questions)

Logan is tied to Sandrock, and keeps his hometown so near and dear to his heart. Juno... doesn’t have anything like that. If he died tomorrow, only Sonia would notice and care. No one else would even bat an eye. 

During the Duvos invasion, Juno goes missing. Logan is concerned, but quickly realizes that his concern is based in something more than simple comradery, and makes the super duper mega healthy decision to suppress his feelings. 

oh what’s this? oh boy oh boy! work in progress ocs!

Lily and Mi-an, the planned save for full release and a Builder power couple (and admittedly Mi-an the one I know the least about romance wise, but builder power couple cute)

With Yan arrested and awaiting trial in Atara, Sandrock is down a Workshop and Builder, which is especially bad news for the more remote villages around Sandrock. Sonia writes to her old friend Lily (her godparents’ daughter) and invites her to fill the position on behalf of City Hall. Lily is ecstatic and jumps on the opportunity.

Lily and Mi-an immediately hit it off and spend hours talking about various builder nerd stuff.

Out of the relationships I’m writing, this one is definitely the most casually, normally paced. 

Romance wise, they present a Heart Knot to each other at the same time, so they are on the same wavelength most of the time.

Mi-an has bouts of self confidence issues, but Lily is rather quick to hype her up and comfort her if needed

Similarly, Lily sometimes needs scheduling help, so Mi-an is happy to help coordinate commissions for Ultimate Productivity (So We Have Time To Watch Old World Romance Movies)

Armaros (they/she) and Owen, Schrodinger’s save (as in I have renamed this oc like 7 times and will probably rename her another 5 times) as well as the bachelor that I am going to take the most creative liberties with edit 4/23: mhm, i did in fact change their name an eighth time lmaoooo

Rose is completely, totally mute. They never spoken a word and never will, as it is physiologically impossible for them to verbalize their thoughts. No amount of “encouragement” will change this and they are very exhausted arguing this. 

Rose visited Sonia (former coworkers) in Sandrock about a couple months or so into her contract, and stayed at the Blue Moon during her week long visit.

Owen and Rose’s initial meeting is, well, awkward to say the least. It took Owen a little bit to catch on to why the blond wasn’t saying anything in response to him and only pointing to menu items, and he was very apologetic once Rose passed a note to him explaining themself.

Owen wouldn’t exactly admit that it was immediate love, but he was captivated by their general vibe and wanted to get to know them better

Of course, Rose did go back home to Highwind, but the two stayed in contact via letters. Owen writes very kind, cordial letters, and Rose writes in an elegant, poetic style. Soon the content of their letters would turn more romantic and emotional.

Rose has the special, unparalleled ability to quickly get people comfortable with them. Owen and Rose have similar warm vibes, but accomplish this through different ways. Owen talks to you like you’ve known each other forever, and Rose is a gentle attentive listener that takes her time responding/giving advice to someone.

Rose is pretty Church of Light religious in comparison to other ocs, so they do utilize some scripture and similar sentiments in their letters to Owen.

Until there is more Owen content, there’s not much else canon I can play with, so I will probably rewrite portions, but the general idea is going to be the same.

Bonus: a Rose and Fang interaction

Rose: :)

fang: ...Have needs, query X.

Rose: :|

fang: ...

Rose, holding up her notepad: (I’m mute. Please be patient with me. -w-)

fang: ...oh. (internally: thank you, peach...)

[frzngrapes]

30/07

My dear Keycie,

I spent the night unfollowing eating disorder and self harm related blogs on here, I logged out of my edtwt account and I deleted my thinspo Pinterest boards. I deleted MyFitnessPal, my weight tracker app and my fast tracker app. I came across a lot of triggering content at once and it was very long but it was necessary.

I have 500 followers on that twitter account, which isn't a lot but is more than my main Instagram's follower count. So it technically used to be my biggest social media platform. I started it two years ago and I don't think I logged out for more than two or three weeks ever since then, but now I'm gone for good. I'm not deactivating it even though I know I should, I feel there are too many important things there. It was like a diary to me, and I would share literally everything. Sometimes looking up words like "friends" "mom" or "crush" on it is fun, because I can find all kinds of different and contradictory stuff I posted during the past two years. I just feel like I should keep this archive.

Also it's a kind of "box situation" like I wrote about some time ago. I know a few months after writing about this I opened the box again. And it's still somewhere in my room even if I don't feel like using it at all. Maybe I'm just not strong enough to completely let go... But I think not having the account and the tumblr tags and the calorie counting apps on my phone is a good first step. I hadn't done anything as significant for my recovery as this in the past two years. Which, come to think of it, is a bit ridiculous. I've attempted to "recover" in the past, but never deleted the weight loss related apps from my phone before, maybe without admitting it to myself I was kinda lying about being dedicated to getting better. But maybe this time is the one right time where everything works out and I heal for real. The day I wrote about in my first ever blog post under the cherrysletters✿ tag.

I was listening to music when unfollowing the edblr accounts and Teen Idle by Marina came on and I fucking cried. Because it hit me, the fact I was suicidal, making myself puke and phased out all the time at age 16. I should have been, idk, having fun. Why did this all happen to me ? This was all so unnecessary. I remembered the fact I didn't think I would turn 17. I went back to what I wrote on here on my 17th birthday and I cried. It's not often I feel sorry for how I treated myself, but rn I really do. I guess I finally really snapped out of it. Not saying I will never be destructive to myself ever again, or that I am completely cured of whatever problem I used to have... It's just that I somehow only now realise I'm not sixteen anymore. And that me proudly fueling my ed was a long time ago, me actually planning on taking my life was a long time ago and now I'm eighteen and this is pretty much over, so I can sit back and think "Shit, that was a lot".

My mother being abusive towards me is over as well. Two months ago she apologized, admitted it was all very unfair and that I didn't deserve it. This is such a huge change in my life, feeling comfortable at home. Because since I started high school, I think what made me cry the most was my mother's word to me, or remembering them or remembering that she used to hit me. And I cried in front of her for it, a lot, from when I was 15 when I started realising it was messed up, to not long ago. But she never apologized before that day. In conversation I brought up the fact that the first time I opened up about being suicidal, she told me to go ahead and kill myself, and she said she didn't remember saying that. It really sent me spiraling I snapped yelled and cried and told her everything I had on my chest, and later she told me she was sorry for everything.

It brings me a huge sense of relief, for her to admit that she did something wrong, just like when during the 2021 gay pride some guy from my high school I seemingly didn't know came up to me and apologized for bullying me. It's like- a proof it actually happened and actually was wrong and not just me making shit up in my head.

I'm saying all this because now that I don't feel pain at home, don't self harm and try to eat normally, I can almost say I'm finally free ! "Almost" because I don't want to jinx it, and because I know my wellbeing works in waves of ups and downs. But like for now I feel like I can enjoy life without having to worry about a big dramatic thing. And I guess that gives me the space to reflect on what life was like not long ago, and that's why I cry. I don't have to cry about whatever's happening right now so get to cry a bit about how hard high school was, then I can move on and be happy for a bit.

xoxo, cherry 🌸