#for one its weird it even matters… since none of it is real?

[got7doubleb]

stupid fuckers be fighting about who should top/bot in fictional ships!

SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

[wolfiesmoon]

Ratted out

sometimes friends and family accidentally (or purposefully) reveal things they shouldnt :)

characters featured: Leona, Kalim, Jade, Jack

ufff idk whats wrong with me but i ended up creating an entire (unrelated to this fic) movie plan related to twst this is mentally stable activities, truly

also unrelated but the new event got me SCREAMING how do they look so good😫

ᐟᐟ☆๋࣭ ⭑໑ Leona Kingscholar

when hanging out with your boyfriend Leona, a little lion boy suddenly jumps him and he immediately lets you go

who is this child???

"Uncle Leona!" the boy clings onto him and you can feel the annoyance eminating from Leona

it's like its own aura thats how annoyed he is🥴

so his nephew (you presume) looks to you all of a sudden and asks "who are you?" with an innocent look on his face

"I'm his lover...?" you said, a little unsure. But when you looked to Leona, he had a look of pure horror on his face...? What is even going on?????

"What?! No way, you're dating Uncle Leona?!" the kid got all excited and ran off somewhere before you could stop him

"...What have you done?" Leona hissed at you through clenched teeth, holding his forehead

you do realise you just revealed that he's dating you to the most big mouthed child in the world, right? that his whole family will know in a matter of minutes, right? that you've basically just invited yourself to every future family gathering at once, right?

and sure enough, in a few minutes he got a surprised text from his brother which he left on read 💀

"Damn brat..." he muttered under his breath, you still confused over what just happened

ᐟᐟ☆๋࣭ ⭑໑ Kalim Al-Asim

let's be real babes there is nothing for his siblings to rat him out on because he immediately told his family he was dating you

however....😈

his siblings happened to overhear a little something...

"Hey, hey." one of Kalim's younger brothers pulled your sleeve, wanting to tell you something

"yes?" you answered absentmindedly, thinking he's going to start talking about a strange thing he saw today or something

"Kalim's gonna marry you." he whispered to you, looking around to make sure no one heard

You laughed a little. "If you think so." you pat his little head

"No, he was like, asking mom if he can marry you soon. We heard it." another one of his brothers joined in after hearing the tea being spilled

"What?! Really?!" you're both extremely surprised and happy and mad at his brothers for ruining the surprise right now

oh well, what's done is done, and now you know Kalim is SERIOUS about you

that gets you thinking about wedding stuff now...🤔

What none of you know tho is that Jamil overheard all of you

"Okay, maybe we need to scrap the whole surprise wedding proposal thing..." he sighs, making a mental note of it and preparing to dissapoint poor Kalim

ᐟᐟ☆๋࣭ ⭑໑ Jade Leech

jade is like... oddly nice to you after you first meet him

you're a little wary of him considering his reputation but he hasn't done anything weird at all so... might as well accept his gifts?

one time he approaches you with jade in tow and you think absolutely nothing of it since they're together like 90% of the time anyways

"Hello there, are you enjoying your lunch?" he just sat down next to you without asking if he can at all 😔

"Uh, yeah, I suppose." you didn't really know what to tell him and it seems he doesnt know how to continue the conversation either so u just kinda... stare at eachother while Floyd casually steals a bit of ur food

"Maaaan, aren't you like, supposed to be crushing on Little Shrimpy or something? Then taaalk about stuff, I'm bored." Floyd looked bored when he saw the two of you didn't start talking about weird stuff

Jade simply smiled at you, telling you to ignore Floyd

But on the inside he was planning approximately 10 ways to... get rid of someone without others noticing

or alternatively, just beating the everloving crap out of his twin brother if the first plan is not a possibility

"Do you have a crush on me?" you wanted to know now...

"That's for you to think about." he smiled oddly eerily, but then just started talking abt something mundane 😥

ᐟᐟ☆๋࣭ ⭑໑ Jack Howl

You're visiting him for the first time because you got curious what his family is like

OF COURSE HE'S AN OLDER BROTHER IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW

his younger siblings immediately ambushed you with their little sniffer noses as soon as you stepped in the house🤔

"Who are you?" they asked, always curious about anyone that Jack brings over

When you told them who you were, they immediately ran away to "TELL MOM" and were literally screaming that the two of you are dating so loudly that the whole neighborhood could hear

You could also hear some woman (who you presume is his mom) laughing from somewhere in the house so uhhh.... atleast she isn't mad about it?

You looked back at Jack who seemed more annoyed than anything

"Aren't you gonna... go stop them?" you asked, raising a brow.

"Nah, I was gonna tell mom I'm dating you anyways. I'm just mad that they beat me to it." he crossed his arms, huffing in annoyance

"Actually, speaking of, isn't me dating you kinda a big deal? You told me before that wolves have one partner for life." you actually got kinda nervous, i mean, you gotta impress his family good now

"It is. But I think everyone's just happy I got someone at all." Jack looked at his overly excited siblings who were still celebrating

"Wow, that's sad." you sassed him 😝

"...I shouldn't have brought you."

[yaymiyas]

THE TALK

warning: yandere!isekai!crown prince, he is very mean in this, female reader

a/n: this is TECHNICALLY not a part two to the introduction but it sort of is….. it jumps from the conversation to the breakfast……..enjoy! ALSO ALSO ALSOOOOOOOO technically its female reader bc you got reincarnated blah blah

looking at the fragments of bacon he didnt want to eat, he let his fingers drum against the edge of the white plate. the fact that you, the daughter of a whore, lover to none, and nuisance to all, was right beside him made his food hard to swallow. the two of you sat in the dining room, and while he sat at the very end of the table with his back facing the door to the kitchen, your usual spot would be that of the opposite side. right across from him, back facing the entering door, but it seems after the poison didn’t hit quite deep enough in your veins, it did affect your brain because, for some reason, you thought it was brilliant to sit directly next to him. you weren’t as talkative as he would have thought of you, ever since you have learned of the activities he had decided to partake in, you started to demand his attention. at first, it didnt bother him much, since he himself started to believe that he was focusing solely on gracie that your suspicions were bound to grow, and grow they did.

for weeks, months, up until the poisoning you were all up on him. he was certain that you were attempting to skin him alive and wear him as a coat it was all mildly unpleasant but more irritating. saer never had a taste for you; rather, he actually hated you. to no one’s fault but his own fathers, he was forced to marry you out of pregnant promises. your father, sir tudor, wasn’t the poorest dope saer’s father has ever seen, but he was the loyalist. he worked on the gwynn estate, doing a multitude of things for the family, automatically gaining the trust of the duke and then the king himself. at the time, king gwynn was more fascinated with how a man with such little knowledge could become his most loyalist man, but that he did. following the pregnancy of both the queen and your mother, he decided that the best course of action was to marry his second unborn son off to the unborn daughter of a freeloader.

an icy shiver runs down saer’s back, forcing him to shake his shoulders and head. looking up from your half eaten plate, raising your head to the sudden movement. he was quiet the whole time, poking at the small slivers of bacon like they were the nastiest things on earth. you werent surprised that he wasnt talking; no, you were actually relieved. it wasn’t because he wasnt attractive or anything, he certainly does look like the main lead; its just the talk you had prior to the breakfast that was replaying in your head. cynthia and amanda didn’t give you much information, since, from the looks of it, they didn’t want to say too much. either their heads were on the line or yours were. you never thought about asking tily, even though she was the one that brought you down here. it just felt too weird knowing she was the one who weirdly had something against you. from your fading memories of ‘obsession falls’, you remember reading online forums and tweets about the whole thing. it seemed like the only real crime edina committed throughout the whole book was wanting her husband to love her. she did everything he had asked of her, from the way she talked to her style of clothing, even to what letters she can reply to. in olden standards, she seemed like the perfect obedient wife. this might have been your first mistake, but you didn’t read too much on saer or his backstory, so you never really understood the reasoning for his hatred of his wife, but you knew it was deep and it was boiling.

clearing your throat, you believed it was a better time than ever to clear the air and get to your point. you never understood why edina allowed things to get as deep as they were, but she was made just to be killed. it sucks that no matter what you do or say, saer will always hate you because you are edina.

“saer,”

“ae.”

that stupid nickname. shutting your eyes tightly and fighting back against any light to seep through, you sighed heavily. the whole time, saer had been watching you carefully. even though it was from the corner of his eyes, he was indeed trying to calculate your next moves. it was kind of silly that your sudden change in physical response is making him antsy, but how can anyone fault him? the last time the air-headed cunt decided to change the way she was reacting, gracie was suddenly engaged to alastair and smiling in his face about it. it was enraging. other than the fact that you were in his life to begin with, knowing that the reason he couldn’t slit the throat of his ex best friend was all because you decided to breathe. those two minutes were the longest two minutes of his life. he watched as your head dropped down on the table, making a very sudden and loud noise with it. saer had sternly told any and all servants to leave the two of you be if any loud, disruptive noises were heard. he even double checked that he sent your nosey maids, cynthia and amanda, home around that time. he knew that if they were present in the building, you weren’t going to eat that poison.

it was infuriating to watch them care about someone as lowly as you. not just them, anyone. reading gracie’s letters, asking how you’ve been and to see you before she even utters a word about him, was beyond hurtful. it felt as if his whole world was falling apart, all because you decided to have superpowers and not die. this was the only way to get back at you. he has tried strangling you. he has tried slaying you. each attempt was caught by either maid, cynthia, or amanda. it made him sick to see you get dotted on. seeing the frilly outfits they were making you wear, as if you were a porcelain doll not worth anybody’s touch. you were disgusting. a disgusting being that deserved to die. so why. why were you here? why were you looking at him like he had done something wrong. 

“enough with the causalities, i would like a divorce saer.”

[newtkive]

pixels [newt x reader - modern text au]

ch. 1 - the gc birth

in which two online friends navigate a romance through a minecraft groupchat with their stupid friends

or, newt, the quiet, stoic boy, and y/n, the bubbly girl both curse the world for keeping them apart, but at least they can send each other cute emojis and hope the other doesn't notice their blossoming feelings.

warnings: strong language, mutual pining, none really.

➥ m.list

__

notes: hi :p im very new to writing on tumblr (but ive always been a reader) so pls bare w me! and im trying to revert back to being 14 (im 23 lols..) so im revisiting my old favs including the maze runner/thomas (bc i binged the artful dodger and now im obsessed again). there will be non-text chapters in the future as well, when everyone eventually meets. this will be newt focused so enjoy !! also everyone is like a realistic age from 23 to 28

__

THE GLADE

[ 7:45 PM ]

alby added minho, y/n, newt, tommy, and gally

alby: Hello, guys.

minho: wtf is this

newt: uhhhh

tommy: hi :3

y/n: so this is why you asked me for my # in private

gally: i didn’t consent to this when i gave you my number

newt: don’t give strange men your number y/n

tommy: oh that’s y/n?

alby: Wait, Newt you had Y/N’s number already??

newt: yea

tommy: o.O

y/n: i gave it to him like two weeks after we met lmao

tommy: SO HE HAD YOUR NUMBER FOR A YEAR AND I DIDNT????

y/n: well he asked and you guys didn’t :p

newt: lmao

minho: ik he smug as fuck rn

not u asking for a girls number lmao simp

newt: stop

y/n: we all talk in discord anyways so i didn’t really think about it

plus you guys are friends irl so idk

it felt kinda weird to insert myself heh

minho: we’ve known you for a year and a half y/n

we play games all the time

call all the time

we even send packages and shit

you’re very much considered our irl friend

y/n: REALLY?? 🥺🥺

tommy: internet friends are real friends 😍❤️

minho: the heart eyes are crazy

but yes dude

newt: of course you’re our close friend. just cuz we live near each other and you’re a bit far away doesn’t mean we don’t adore you

minho: ADORE IS CRAZY LMFAO

but real ig

y/n: AWWWWW YOU GUYS LOVEEE MEEEEEE

hahahahha

HAHAHHAHJFIEKMGOR

I LVOE YOU GIYYYYSSSS IM PUTTING ALL OUR MINECRAFT BEDS TOGETHER LATER

gally: i do not want my bed to be infested by you guys

minho: gally sleeps in the corner

gally: no i dont i sleep in my mansion

y/n: cherry blossom mansion*

gally: and you sleep in a shed

y/n: cherry blossom shed* its pink and that matters.

tommy: love you y/n 😊🥰

y/n: love you tommy <3333

minho: that’s actually nasty stop now

y/n: u mad ur unloved

i love how the gc name is our minecraft town name :((

newt: aw it is

minho: can we talk about why tf this was made when we have a perfectly good discord

alby: I’m done with Discord.

newt: you got your shit hacked didn’t you mate

minho: mate 💀💀

british people so crazy

alby: Yes maybe..

I don’t want to make another.

y/n: or your old ass doesn’t know how to

minho: LMAO REAL

alby: Gonna ignore that. But I am getting too old for it. I have a new promotion at work so that means I won’t have time to play with you guys as much anymore. So I decided to make this groupchat in hopes to talk to you guys more to make up for it :)

minho: every group always has the old head with the job 💀💀

newt: minho admitting he’s jobless

minho: you work at a library be so fr rn

newt: i have an income. you have a room in your grandmas basement. we are not the same.

gally: LMFAOOOOOOO

minho: stfu :////

y/n: AWWWWWWW ALBYYYYYYY

tommy: YAAAY!!!!

im going to text you guys all day

tell you every meal

every thought

every interaction will be meaningful and glorious

newt: you are 24 years old you don’t have to do all that

minho: no fr im turning off my phone if he starts this shit

why not just do it before in the discord ??

tommy: easy access now and i tried before but stopped since no one really replied..

y/n: i say we all do it :D i will too tommy

newt: ok second thought that’s fine

minho: .

gally: that’s wild.

y/n: YAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!! NEWT YOU GO FIRST

newt: first with what

y/n: say what u ate today

newt: didn’t say i’d do it.

tommy: i ate muffin, monster energy drink, and hamburger :3333

you guys next

minho: that’s all you had bro..

y/n: hot cheetos and french fries and coffee :D

minho: ??????? BRO

how are you guys alive

y/n: it's my day off and no class so i just wanna rot in bed and that means no cooking

newt: please eat and drink water.

like for real and document it

y/n: ok wait

there

tommy: yum!

minho: y/n..

newt: cereal does not count

y/n: I DONT HAVE ENERGY TO MAKE ANYTHING OKAY

im a 23 year old broke college student my fridge is bare

newt: alright what do you want?

y/n: wym?

newt: like if you could pick.

minho: that’s so cruel 😭😭 just making her imagine it

i like it go on.

tommy: i want chick fil a

minho: i knew you hate the gays

tommy: I AM THE GAYS?????

y/n: ugh that does sound good

mmmm chickem sandiwh waffle fry I Want that Os mYch

newt: that’s what you would order?

y/n: mmmcm yeahshhhhh

newt: ok

minho: that’s it?

i thought soemthing would happen

tommy: me too

like a spell! magic 🪄

y/n: sigh

my cereal tastes bad now

newt: well it is cocoa puffs.

minho: L cereal

y/n: DTOP SAYING L ITS SO ANNOYITIGJNGGGGG

minho: she so madddd 😂😂 L

newt: you're annoying minho

minho: youre just saying that bc shes saying that

newt: no ive always said it. and i will continue to. youre fucking annoying

minho: who bought you your coffee yesterday

newt: ???

myself

and i paid for yours too

im the one with an income

minho: .

well i didnt think youd remember that well.

newt: it was literally yesterday.

minho: yeah but ur old

newt: IM THE SAME AGE AS YOU

minho: yeah but im 🤗✨ 26 ✨🤗and youre... 26😬😔

tommy: guys stop fighting

newt: we aren't fighting

maybe this gc was a bad idea

tommy: NO!!!!!!!!!

y/n: NOOOO!

tommy: this is like y/n is here w us irl

y/n: awwwwwwwwwwwwwww

minho: no it's not. we would smell a foul stench if she was

y/n: i ahte you sooo bad.

wait there is a knock at my door im scared

newt: answer it

minho: aren't you supposed to say don't open the door for strangers ????

newt: well usually yes

y/n: no im not expecting company

newt: just do it pls

y/n: ok :D

minho: bruh..

i hope she gets robbed and u feel bad forever newt

newt: why would you want that

minho: bc she owes me money

newt: YOU owe ME money

minho: yes but i have a good reason she just wanted robux

tommy: Y/N DONT DO IT!!! I HAVE SEEN DATELINE

y/n: :o....

tommy: Y/N?????????

OH GOD THEY GOT HER

minho: why would she text a silly face if she got got

tommy: clearly its a surprised face

maybe its not her

its like those cut out magazine letters murderers use

y/n: who got me chick fil a!!!!!!!!!!

minho: me

newt: you literally did not

minho: shut up

y/n: newt it was u i see ur name on the receipt

newt: well

y/n: :(

newt: what why are you sad?

minho: im hungry too

y/n: u spent ur money :(

newt: you're hungry are you not?

minho: she's not but i am

y/n: yeah but..

i feel bad you shouldn't have

newt: just eat it or i'll be mad

minho: i think i want red lobster

newt: it's really no big deal y/n

y/n: thank you newt :(((((

newt: you're welcome

go eat and watch ur show or smth

minho: i owuld love to eat and watch a show rn <33 ohhhh im starving

newt: can you shut up

gally: im muting this gc if this means i have to deal with your guys' shit more than usual now.

minho: thank god

newt: good

tommy: good

y/n: good

the food is good too <3

newt: good.

_

lmk if you want to be tagged!

[back2bluesidex]

Welcome To My Favorite Place ✨

Hello, this is Nika. Welcome to my masterlist.

Here you will find the byproducts of my sleepless nights and wild imaginations.

Most of my stories are for mature audience. Hence, if you are a minor, you need to stay away from my blog. Some stories may have triggering concepts, please proceed upon reading the warnings carefully.

Hope you have a good reading. 💕

Check out my membership exclusive masterlist for stories that I post only on Patreon.

Themes:

Angst - 💔, Fluff - 💖, Smut - 💋

KNJ

Series/Drabble-series/Twoshots

None yet.

Oneshots

Next level, space level 💋💔

Summary: How can Namjoon deny you when you are ready to give yourself to him?

2. Forbidden 💋

Summary: You know it's forbidden but you don't care, not when your professor is more than ready to ruin you.

3. Bus Ride 💋💖

Summary: Namjoon has a massive crush on his coworker and it takes all his self control to survive a bus-ride with her.

4. Seven Minutes 💔

Summary: Namjoon goes around the world in a day in just seven minutes.

Drabbles

Idol!Namjoon X Author!Reader (Meet cute)

Lover - (Fluff)

Enchanted - (Angst with happy ending)

KSJ

Series/Drabble-series/Twoshots

Taste of a Poison [Twoshot] 💔💋

Summary: Relationship with Seokjin is as toxic as it is addictive.

Part 1 , Part 2 [Discontinued]

Oneshots

Wanna be yours 💖💋

Summary: A peaceful, dreamless sleep is all you wanted after a long and boring office party but life has different plans and that plan includes the CEO of your company.

2. 20 Years Late 💔💖

Summary: Seokjin could count on his fingers the things that haven't changed within these 20 years of his life, and one of those is you..

Drabbles

By the Sea - (fluff)

You Belong with Me - (Fluff)

Broken Heart Over Whiskey Glass - (Angst)

Meanie - (Smut)

MYG

Series/Drabble-series/Twoshots

1. Slide 💔💋

Summary: 

"I can see the pain in your eyes I don't wanna say that I'm God, but I'll take you to heaven if you die"  

Alternatively, 

You would go back in time and fall in love with Yoongi over and over and over again even after knowing that he would never once be yours in any of the timeline.

Oneshots

Call Me Oppa 💋💖

Summary: Yoongi has a weird kink... Maybe you'll find it out soon enough.

2. Haegeum 💋

Summary: Banning Yoongi from your bar has its own consequences.

3. Spotlight 💔💖

Summary: No matter how much you run away from Yoongi, Yoongi always comes right back to you.

4. Give Me A Taste 💋

Summary: Yoongi is down bad for you, he has been missing your taste crazily. Thanks to unexpected turns of events and a cancelled show, he can finally satiate his hunger for you.

5. One of the Girls 💋

Summary: Min Yoongi has been threatening your father. But that's not the problem. The problem is that you wanna get fucked by him.

Drabbles

Best friend!Yoongi X Fem!Reader (Angst)

Delicate - (Implied SMUT, Fluff)

Great War - (Angst)

Girl Crush - (Angst)

JHS

Series/Drabble-series/Twoshots

I Fell First but He Fell Harder [Series](Completed) 💔💖💋

Summary: You have been with Him since the beginning. To you he was the only person that existed in the world, in your world. But to him, you are another pair of hands that clapped after each of his performance. Will it change when you secure a job in his dancing academy?

2. Broken Glock [Series] (Completed) 💔💖💋

Summary: Hoseok is cold hearted, that's what everyone says. He is made of stone, no emotion runs through his veins, everyone believes it. Everyone but you. Because you have seen concern in his eyes and felt warmth in his touches. You have seen the real him, someone he doesn't acknowledge to be. And that's what has made you fall for him even though you believe you are nothing but a paid employee to him. But the reality is different. You're the only one that makes Hoseok a sane human being, he loves you with all of his heart, so much so that now he has started pushing you away from him to keep you protected from any harm. But will you two survive without each other? What if you can't? And what if you won't?

3. Dear Darling [Mini Series] 💔💋

Summary: After his bride flees from his clutches and reaches the realm of mortals to reunite with her lover - Hoseok has no choice but to chase her. Upon his arrival to the land of obnoxious humans, he crosses paths with you. You are a small, driven mortal who walks with a load of despair on her back. You are nothing but a delicious meal to him and he wants nothing more than to suck your life out of you, find his runaway wife and return to his kingdom. But much to his dismay, you ruin his plans, make him do what he never imagined doing in 600 years of his life - like making him fall in love and keeping him bound to you.

Oneshots

1. Attention 💋

Summary: A very jealous Hoseok fucks you into oblivion.

2. Fleeting [Birthday special] 💔💋

Summary: It's his birthday and you got a surprise for him but maybe not of the good kind.

3. Let's get engaged [Enlistment Special] 💖

Summary: Hoseok is enlisting but he has some pending works to complete beforehand.

4. Not Jealous 💋

Summary: You know Hoseok is sulking and you know how to cheer him up.

5. Cold war 💔💋

Summary: In which Hoseok fucks you for all the time he has lost due to his own mistakes.

6. Soju Bomb 💋

Summary: Hoseok doesn't like soju usually, but he discovers he likes the taste when the drink is spilled on your body.

7. Fool's Gold 💔

Summary: Falling for Jung Hoseok is... Fool's Gold.

8. Not a Dream 💔💖 (Please don't read it. It's my very first fic and it's very cringe! I, myself, don't like it.)

Summary: She thinks she is not good enough for him. She thinks she has nothing to offer. But she doesn't know she is all he wants. But why?

9. Your Lips, My Lips - Apocalypse 💔💋

Summary: You are lonelier than anyone he has ever witnessed. Your loneliness comes with an intensity that matches his, maybe that’s why he is so attracted to you? Maybe that’s why he wants to give you his final moments of existence?

10. Heeled Boots 💋

Summary: A little something about Hoseok's heeled boots from MAMA 2022.

Drabbles

Teardrops - (Angst with an open ending)

Afterglow - (Angst with happy ending) [A Girl Crush followup drabble]

PJM

Series/Drabble-series/Twoshots

Lightning [Mini-Series] 💋💖

Summary: You don't understand why you find Park Jimin everywhere you go. Also, why his eyes stay only on you.

1.1 Like Crazy - A lightning sequel 💋💖

Summary: Jimin wants to make you his and he will get in done tonight.

2. Oh So Reluctant [Twoshot] 💔💋💖

Summary: For the past eleven months that you have been married to Park Jimin, he has not looked at you the way he has been doing today. And there is sinister in his eyes.

Part 1, Part 2

Oneshots

1. 25 and Virgin 💋

Summary: You are 25 and virgin but maybe your crush slash senior Park Jimin can change that tonight.

Drabbles

Wildest Dreams - (Angst)

Cruel Summer - (Fluff)

KTH

Series/Drabble-series/Twoshots

None Yet

Oneshots

Baggage 💔

Summary: After six months of parting your ways from each other, Taehyung receives your handwritten letter. An unexpected one.

2. Like a Brother 💋

Summary: Taehyung has always been someone out of your league. Honestly, he isn't even your type. But that doesn't mean you haven't felt weak at times.

Drabbles

Rainy Day [A Baggage Drabble] 💔

Snow on the Beach - (Fluff)

JJK

Series/Drabble-series/Twoshots

Trouble [Twoshot] 💋

Summary: It's not that you don't like your hot rommmate, you just choose to stay away.

1.1. Trouble 2 💋

Summary: It's not that you don't like your hot rommmate, you just choose to stay away.

2. Novice 💋💖

Summary: The need of some extra money lands on you a weird job. But you are not complaining, not when you get to fuck Jeon Jungkook.

2.1. We Need Practice 💋💖

Summary: Jungkook wants you to ride him and you are too bad at that.

Oneshots

1. Desire 💋

Summary: Jungkook hates you, you hate Jungkook but sometimes desire is more important than hatred.

2. Monitoring Duty 💖

Summary: You are tasked with monitoring Jungkook's weverse live tonight, which starts with you trying to shove ramyeon down your throat and ends with Jungkook confessing that he likes you too.

3. Seven Days a Week 💋

Summary: Jungkook promised himself that he will be fucking you right seven days a week.

4. Bad Idea 💋

Summary: Accepting Jungkook's invitation to watch him train topless was such a bad idea.

5. In Motion 💋

Summary: You are finally letting Jungkook set everything in motion. And he is more than happy to show you what he has to offer.

6. Standing Next to You 💋💔💖

Summary: Your and Jungkook's relationship is all about dark rooms, shadows, rendezvous and secrecy. It pains you to even think that you can't claim him as yours in front of the world. But Jungkook is always there to set your fears free because he loves you even more than you love him.

7. Closer To You 💔💋

Summary: You know that you and Jeongguk are completely different individuals from every possible aspect, and there is no future of this relationship but you can’t push him away, not when he only wants to come closer to you.

8. Darling, can I be your favorite? 💋

Summary: Your close friend bagged a hot boyfriend. And that said boyfriend is more interested in you than her.

9. Gin and Tonic (ft. Kim Mingyu) 💋

Summary: If Jungkook is pungent as Gin then you need Mingyu as Tonic water to soothe your throat.

Drabbles

Idol!Jungkook X Reader (Establish relationship, fluff)

The Way I Loved You - (Angst with happy ending)

Gorgeous - (SMUT)

Tolerate it - (Angst)

Return the Favor - (SMUT)

Fortnight - (Fluff)

OT7/Multiple Members

Series/Drabble-series/Twoshots

Where Do Broken Hearts Go? - ft. JJK & JHS 💔💋💖 [Series] (completed)

Summary: Jungkook stripped your emotions naked, left you bare in the chilly wind of despair and self-doubt with an unending heartache. You tried your hardest to move on from him, to live for yourself but failed miserably. Each night you had to come back to your empty home where memories and broken dreams were scattered all around the floor, until one day a little angel and her unbelievably beautiful father came into your life. Finally, when you find yourself healing, maybe falling too, Jungkook had to show up! Again!

2. Hard Luck - ft. JJK & KTH 💖💋 [Series]

Summary: You have a good face, a nice body, a fat amount saved in your secondary bank account, a stable job that you love, loving friends and family, you are good in bed. You have almost everything other than a good luck in love. Sleeping around with random dudes don’t feel enough when your friends are getting married and having kids. If you are being honest, you have started getting bored of this prolonged singlehood already.  Your last light of hope fades away when your work crush, aka the hot guy from the legal department, Kim Taehyung (with whom you might or might not have slept once, okay! twice!), asks you to set him up with your work best friend (who, apparently, is the most asked out woman of the company). But what you don’t know is that the CEO of the company has taken a liking to you and has set out on a mission of winning your heart.  But wait… Taehyung might have started developing feelings for you in the process of receiving your help!!!

Oneshots

1. Best Fucking Friends - JHS & PJM 💋

Summary: Guess, your dumbass ex-boyfriend did the right thing for once by dumping you. Your best friends are more than happy to fuck you into oblivion.

2. The More, The Merrier- KTH & JJK 💋

Summary: Taehyung should definitely feel angry or at least disappointed seeing you already trying to sleep with someone else, that too, his best friend. However, what he feels is insanely turned on.

Drabbles

Happily Ever After - KNJ & JHS (Angst)

*Disclaimer: All the pictures are taken from internet and pinterest (ktvjeon). I don't own the edits.

[yellowocaballero]

hi!! loved New Wave & its Jason addition, was wondering if you have any Opinions about the weird characterization of Jason in the comics/fandom?

Oh Jesus. You are talking to a certified fanon Batfam hater jkaljdsfkljsdf. In some senses, yes I do.

I see more 'good or at least interesting' depictions of Jason than I do pretty much any other Batfam character. A lot of the best Batfam fic has an extremely strong Jason POV. From a group dynamics perspective, having a Jason is important. Jason is important: his death irrevocably altered Batman as a series, marked a serious turning point in kid sidekicks and comics as a whole, and created a few pretty good storylines.

It's hard to say 'what's the real Jason characterization', because he constantly cross-contaminates himself. Jason's character is little more than the lens through which he's viewed, and what comes afterwards. Pre-Crisis Jason is indistinguishable from Dick. Post-Crisis Jason isn't that different either, until they decided to kill him, at which point they very quickly gave him all of his character traits we know him for today. Retrospectives on Jason for twenty years were of both this pre-post-humorous angry/impulsive version and The Dead Kid nostalgia, and now they're colored by his Red Hood anger and 'glory days' nostalgia. And then we've had the Batfam-ization of Batman comics and none of that matters anyway, because they're blorbos now.

@lazuliquetzal has remarked several times that the real problem with Red Hood is that you can use him for drama, like, once or twice - that he's a very good foil character for one or two very specific storylines. I agree. I think further usage of the RH as a villain should be separated from the Batfam, since you can't reconcile his pro-killing stance with the Batfam non-killing stance. Give him a different story if you want, but I think it's hard to slot the actual Red Hood character back into the Batfam. Not even sure that you should.

I think the main thing for me is that I don't understand why the 'good end' is always 'Bring Jason Home!' - why reconciliation is mandatory, why what we want is him moving back into the manor and having family dinners. Why. He's 19. Let him live by himself in his shitty apartment and smoke weed and shittalk his dad. He's an adult, he doesn't have to talk to any of you if he doesn't want to. He really doesn't want to. There is more than one way for a family to function, and it doesn't have to look like family dinners.

Regarding fic: obviously the softening and defanging is boring. There's an entire genre of stories where 'Jason hates Tim until he actuall meets him, at which point he's blasted by Tim's #woobie and starts taking care of him", but in the '10s the biggest conflict with Jason is that he irrationally hates a fourteen year old who did nothing wrong completely to the point where he keeps on trying to kill him. For a decade he was just melodramatic yelling. I think people are more interested in writing cute dynamics than they are characters, and Jason is forced into the sympathetic family dynamic as a result. Comics now do this too, because, fandomization,

Young Jason stories are also entirely whump, which is obviously boring. I've mentioned this before, but a big part of my thoughts behind the NW!Jason fic are just that there are a lot of 'Jason comes to the manor' fics, and in very little of them do Jason and Bruce actually like each other. It's pure whump and family bonding over any actual interest in the characters. Thing about whump is just - put in literally any character there, it doesn't matter. Pick anyone. Who cares.

This is all ignoring the number one biggest thing for me, which is: the fandom is obsessed with Jason, and I am sick of Jason, it is all Jason. Even Tim is worse off in comparison, because he gets moe blob'd so Jason can take care of him. Go write the women. Seriously. Jason's a whump magnet and it's exhausting, go write Cass Cain having a character arc.

TL;DR: Batfam fanfic only cares about cute brotherly fluff and whump and it is so fucking bad, man.

[st4rgzer]

Can you write a about the reader loving Matt sm but knowing he doesn’t like her back. Liek don’t have a super happy ending but also don’t have a super sad one. Do it inspired by me and …

UNREQUITED (matt sturniolo)

summary: the reader experiences some unresponsive feelings from a special someone

genre: angst

cw: taylor swift references maybe…? Is that a warning? Other than that I really don’t think theres much

a/n: as always, @iha8you ‘s request, ly, also dw you’ll get him🙏

This winter had been hell for me, it was always my favorite holiday, the cool air, snow, when it rained and I got to stay home playing boardgames with my mum, or I finally got to read that book that had been collecting dust on my shelf for ages now that it was dark and rainy. No, none of it this year. Every time I hung out with him I held my breath, in fear I’ll do something wrong, take too much space, become too much of a liability. Its stupid, just stupid, I’m his best friend, known him since i was 16 years old, but he seemed so much more older, and wiser.I belittle myself next to him, instead of just letting go, I take a mental note of every little gesture he does that correlates in any way to me, every choice of words, I save them to then divulge them later. It’s draining, not knowing if its just all in your head. If you’ve got it wrong…

“y/n? Hellooo, are you there” i snapped out of my meditative state.I was cross legged on my bedroom floor with two of my closest friends, I didnt even remember what we were talking about anymore.

“yeah sorry i was just distracted” I sighed tying my hair back into a low ponytail and resting my hands on my knees

“we were talking about Matt? Y’know you actually have a chance with him, did you see the way he talked to you earlier?” My friends were only feeding into my delusions, the other nodded in agreement. Even if he did actually see me like that, i dont know what i would do, we’ve been friends since highschool, everything would just be too weird and messy, it wouldn’t be right, no, not with me, not with him.

“No, guys, stop, you’re all just talking nonsense and it just makes everything worse” I groaned, placing my head between my hands.

“C’mon, who could ever leave you?” She says giggling, looking over at my other friend, it wasn’t funny, not in that moment at least. I felt despaired, I know it’s obvious I like him, maybe no one actually takes it seriously when i throw in some extra compliments once in a while of some flirty remarks, but I never try to hide it, except the real thing of course. I know my love should be celebrated, I shouldn’t settle for someone who just tolerates it, but I keep going back to the same thing, always, no matter how many people I see, no matter how many excuses I make to not hang out, its like a moth to a flame, I know im bound to get burnt, trust me. My friends keep convincing me, I feel petty having to listen to them try and make me feel better. Sometimes I come close to actually getting serious then I just think its a waste of time, he just always assumes im fine when my eye contact becomes non existent and my words get mixed up, I dont think he notices it at least, I dont think he ever notices. I guess this means im just doomed, It doesn’t matter how many times my friends reassure me, how many “glances” i pick up from him, Im never going to be one of his main concerns, unrequited. Im always just dimly lit, just enough. I should start trying to accept, settle, “always the bridesmaid, never the bride”.

a/n: this is kind of sht i wrote this at 1:00am, I’ll write more with requests🙏😊😊

[artbyblastweave]

Curious if you'd say you've ever seen a superhero work that genuinely deserved the alt-history genre classifier, and otherwise at what point its even possible to use it vs going 'this has decades of in-universe history but doesn't deserve to be called alt-history for [REASONS]'

Only one I can think of off-hand that has enough granulated timeline-development would be Wild Cards, but curious if you think others qualify and/or if you think WC doesn't qualify

I can't really comment on Wild Cards extensively (haven't read that much of it) but I can comment on a few other works. To briefly be the guy who talks about the same three works all the time:

Watchmen I think totally qualifies- Nixon is on his fifth term, electric cars are ubiquitous due to Dr. Manhattan's ability to synthesize lithium, Vietnam is the 51st state, the zeitgeist is consumed by pirate comics, and everyone in New York got murdered by a giant fake squid. And superheroes are real.

Unfortunately I also have to note that The Boys flirted with this; among other things, superheroic "intervention" resulted in the Brooklyn Bridge getting destroyed during 9/11, Prescott Bush and some of the other Business plot guys got wiped out during an attempted superheroic field test in World War 2, The War on Terror is being fought primarily in Pakistan, and Dakota Bob is president because George Bush Jr. killed himself playing with a chainsaw. The fact that none of this really pans out into a tangibly different society is deliberate, as part of the comic's drumbeat that superheroes, while roundly bad, also fundamentally don't matter, and are at best able to make things bad in different ways without really changing the shape of the structures that produced them.

Worm is in kind of a weird spot here- it objectively is an alternate history, countless things are different, whole nations are gone, we see a lot of alterations to the culture- but it gives limited airtime to a lot of the specifics of how things got to where they are, beyond the broad clusterfuck generated by the parahumans. To some extent, the fact that the world is radically different is downplayed until the back half because society at the start of the story is Stepford-smiling through an immanent apocalypse- and, you know, the immanent apocalypse is ultimately kind of the relevant difference from our world. But on the whole, I doubt there's a really tight worldbuilding document documenting all the ripple effects on the dramatis personae of history. The story's pretty vague about, for example, what the American presidential lineup has been since Reagan, what electoral politics look like in a world of Capes. It's vague about basically everything else in that nitty-gritty, concrete-details vein.

I do think that all of these, Worm in particular, highlight a major issue you're gonna run into when trying to do alternate universe stuff with capes, and it's that, first of all, doing really robust, thoughtful and fleshed-out alternate history is already really fucking hard, requiring a strong command of the history and culture of maybe up to the entire world, depending on the scope of your project- and superhero stuff already suffers from really strong American provincialism, so the depictions can get stupid fast if you aren't careful. Then on top of that the nature of the cape genre is that you're going to be following a pretty pared-down central cast; authorial and audience bandwidth will be tied up with what's going on with these specific guys over the course of their story, which can get in the way of a birds-eye view of their world, unless you're specifically structuring the story in a way to dodge that issue (which, you know, I get the impression Wild Cards did.)

I also think a commonality in the above works is that a lot of the alt-history changes are instrumental, included not as the result of the author trying to hyper specifically model falling dominoes from a specific point of change, but because they help the work to make its point. I doubt Alan Moore has a one-hundred-page forum thread detailing the fallout of America winning the Vietnam War, but such a thing would be beside the point- which is that God being an American Agent would fuck shit up geopolitically, regardless of the specifics. I mean a lot of this is vibes-based already, right? In objective terms the MCU has been an alternate history for years, but it doesn't claim that label, doesn't market itself as such, so it isn't. I think it comes down to whether you decide to wear that outfit on the runway, and how well it hangs on you once you've opened yourself to judgement on those grounds.

[mdhwrites]

Why TOH really doesn't want a theme of discrimination.

Every demon in the show is depicted as evil, dumb or as good... because they don't want to be a part of demon culture.

That's the thesis and it's not an over exaggeration. In the main cast, the only demon of the DEMON REALM is Hooty who is treated as slow, less intelligent than the other members of the cast, and as a joke by the writers as he never elevates himself above being simply comic relief. Association with him seems to be the earliest sign that Lilith is meant to be seen as a joke and her relationship with Hooty ostracizes her from the rest of the cast. Makes her appear weird because she's the only one who can like the bird tube.

Otherwise, they're all antagonists. Most of them are just one note villains for that matter. In S1, every demon with a real speaking role is a villain. The monster hunters, Warden Wrath, Tibbles, the basilisk, the publisher for King and even Boscha if her third eye denotes demonic heritage. Anyone who we see at least as neutral are pretty much just background characters. The ones from the prison in the first episode are really the only ones who get a moment of heroism.

Now you might say: What about Bat Queen? She's the richest person on the Isles and she... Isn't a demon. She's a palisman. Made by, or at least for, a god with the insinuation they give. Bare minimum: Not for any demon known to the Isles. So she doesn't count.

There ARE witch antagonists in S1 thankfully. They're Matt, who goes on to obviously be a good person at heart, Amity who... Duh and Lilith who is also redeemed. None of this happens to any of the demons though even if ostensibly this is their world since the entire dimension is named after demons.

Which, as a note, also is part of why saying TOH is anti-colonial means ignoring an entire race.

Even KING, who should have been the demon representative in the main cast, was then retconned not to be one. Worse yet, only once that retcon began did the show start treating him with any real respect. As a demon... He was just a dumb comic relief character as far as the show is concerned.

So when we FINALLY get a reoccurring demon... It's Kikimora. That should be all I need to say there.

Now the final argument: Vee. Vee is a good person, right? She's not a villain or antagonist, just a good person. And you would be right. The framing on Vee is the problem. As the ONE genuinely just good demon, we have to evaluate how she is different. She is different... Because she rejected the Demon Realm. Her parallels with Luz are even supposed to make it clear that she is better at being a human THAN LUZ. Which has the awful implication, if we want to say TOH has anti-discrimination theme, that the only good demon, is a domesticated demon. One who wants to be a human.

That's. Fucking. Awful.

And just to cover my bases: Yes, discrimination is more than a race thing but the concept of discrimination on race is actually pretty much the only one ever brought up. The fact that no one gives a shit about ethnicity or sexuality or gender actually hurts the theme because you have to project those things onto the show instead. And any allegory to discrimination is explicitly done through races. Fantasy races but that still frames it as a racial issue so its theme on anti-discrimination is going to struggle to branch out beyond racial lines because it effectively ignores that any other form of discrimination might even EXIST.

And for the finale!... I don't think any of this is on purpose by the writers. Yes, they bring discrimination into the show but just like how real life conflicts will often ignore the complexities of all the groups present, such as us referring to all Native Americans as one whole group rather than their separate tribes and histories, the show effectively forgets about the demons. They're just there for flavor because if literally all of the characters of the demon realm were elves, it wouldn't feel like it fits the name at all. It adds spice to a scene and adventure if you have demons of all sorts and sizes.

But the witches are the conventionally attractive characters who are easy to latch onto and so they are the main cast. Everything that looks other becomes a target for villainy because of that juxtaposition. Unfortunately, none of this helps any sort theme of inclusivity. That we are supposed to look past the outer shell and see the person within, regardless, race, gender, sexuality, etc. like that.

Instead, TOH tells a very basic fantasy story and in doing so, falls into the fact that a lot of classic fantasy was written by racist white dudes and the fact that the term demon is charged due to LOTS of religions that paint them out as wholly evil. Without actually interrogating these concepts, it can be easy to fall into them.

So yeah, I think this is a theme people need to stop trying to apply to TOH.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[branmuffins22]

Every once in a while, I come across an Owl House fic in which someone does something romantic/sexual with someone who isn't their established partner, and I see it tagged as "Cheating". Which, in the context of that fic, is almost certainly exactly right! (I wouldn't know for sure, I don't really read these fics.)

But I can't help but imagine the leadup to this, how this situation comes about in the first place. And wonder how, at no point, did the previously-involved character bring this up to their established partner. And wonder how, at some point, they decided that doing these things with someone who isn't their established partner is bad, and wrong, and "Cheating".

The Boiling Isles were made to have few or none of the usual biases which brought about our cisnormative, heteronormative, amatonormative, allonormative, perisex-normative, etc. society. Some real-world biases remain, like ableism, classism, and (although it's quite different from its real-world counterpart) racism, but they're mostly reserved for the real jerks, not applied on a wider scale. In all, it's an absolute queer haven, and I somehow doubt that polyamory is where they draw the line.

Since the most recent ship I saw with this was Luz/Viney (cheating on established Luz/Amity), let's imagine two scenarios.

Scenario A:

Viney sends Luz some Signals: she wants something romantic and/or sexual from her. Luz, oblivious as she is, doesn't notice the implications until things have already progressed to a certain point with Viney's desparation to get the point across and/or mounting inability to reign in her impulses, so something has already been done, by Viney, to Luz. Stolen kiss, slap on the ass, whatever, doesn't matter. They're impulsive teens, so everything feels like the Most Thing. Luz talks to Amity about it in a panic, because of COURSE she does, those two are modern media's single most communicative leading ladies. Amity is like "Oh shit, but did she mention me?" because she's also kind of a massive lesbian, and Viney is the triple threat of Confident, Competent, and Chaotic. Even if Amity has no particular feelings for Viney (which is admittedly pretty likely), she must still admit that Viney is a hell of a catch. So far, she has no reason to feel anything but happy for Luz, and doesn't understand why Luz is panicking. Luz, having grown up in the modern, compulsively monogamous United States, is confused as fuck about Amity's seemingly blase attitude toward this development, and says something like "But isn't that/wouldn't that be cheating???" and Amity is like "What? Cheating how? Who's being cheated out of something? Viney? Me? You?" 'Cause like. Nobody loses. Luz gets to kiss or whatever with Viney and also kiss or whatever with Amity. Nothing about one says she can't do the other. Hell, dating someone who's dating someone is a great way to get to know someone, and a great way to gauge mutual interest, should you ever want to date someone. Luz predictably brings up that whole weird monogamous people thing with like. Assumed exclusivity, or whatever you call it. And Amity is like "Okay, but I don't own you??? I can't control everything you do and dictate who you can interact with and how, because what the FUCK, that would be super evil and controlling and manipulative and weird. And way too much like something Odalia would do." And Luz is like "Oh shit. Wow. Polyamory. Awesome. Once I'm done disavowing all notions of infidelity, and figure out my own feelings on the matter, will you hold my hand for moral support as an excuse to come along with me when I get back to Viney about it?" And Amity is like "Hell yeah. Let's fucking go." And then they do and maybe something comes of it but who fucking knows or cares because they Communicated. Like they are wont to do. Sike, actually. I care, and I think Viney/Luz/Amity is AWESOME.

VS

Scenario B:

Viney sends Luz some Signals. Luz reciprocates these signals immediately, despite herself, because she's an impulsive teen, I guess. One thing leads to another, and WHOOPS, now Luz is in some kind of not-strictly-platonic relationship with Viney, even though she was already in such a relationship with Amity. Luz internally berates herself for her infidelity, all the while still doing said infidelity. She doesn't tell Amity because she's way too deep now, it would ruin the relationship, or something! Amity finds out anyways and becomes so heartbroken that she breaks up with Luz on the spot and probably drinks herself into a coma or something. I don't know, this isn't really my subgenre. Luz only realizes her mistake after it has already cost her the love of her life (whom she already knowingly and willingly betrayed, somehow), and I dunno how much further into this scenario I need to go for you to get the point.

Which of these do you think is more likely? Which of these appeals more to you, personally? Which of these completely butchers the existing characters and their dynamics for the sake of a "hey wouldn't it be fucked up if ___" hypothetical? For the record: you and I might disagree on any or all of these.

I dunno. Maybe I'm just too poly for this. Or not allo enough for this. Or too much of a multi-shipper for this. Or haven't actually read the fics in question enough for this. Or haven't felt the touch of another recently enough for this. It sure has been almost a decade. Gosh. Who can say.

[belphegor1982]

Scanlan with 17, if you feel so inclined ✨

(17. Tending to an injury/wound/illness from the Put That Guy in a Situation™ Ask Game/Prompt list)

*rubs hands* You know, it just so happens that I had an idea floating in my head and that I was able to use it for your prompt. Thought it might be a nice little 1,000-word story, maaaaybe 2,000, but instead have this 6,100 word behemoth! Thank you so much for the opportunity to write for these characters 💜 I'll post it on AO3 ASAP!

—

Friends in Low Places

“—og! Grog! Scanlan! Can you hear me?”

There’s a voice in Grog’s ear, piercing through the fog, and he makes an effort to shake the cobwebs because Pike almost sounds scared and she never does.

It works, and he realises a few things in rapid succession:

Pike is calling through the earring.

They were all fighting some big beast with lots of teeth and claws. Now they’re not. (At least Grog isn’t.)

They were in a cave, deep underground, and the fight happened right next to a really big drop. Presumably Grog is still in the cave, just… a lot lower.

And last, he’s covered in rocks and pebbles and dirt like a blanket, curled up on himself around something warm and small –

Oh, that’s another thing: Scanlan is alive, too. His breath is coming hard and fast against the middle of Grog’s chest, tickling the scar tissue there, and he’s clutching Grog so tight Grog can almost feel the sting of nails. (Grog likes to think he has really thick skin, so that’s saying something.)

“Guys, speak up if you’re okay – or at least alive,” comes another voice, sharper. Vex.

Grog feels Scanlan move around a little.

“I don’t know about ‘okay’,” he croaks, like the inside of his throat is coated in dust, same as Grog. His voice makes a weird echo in the earring. “But, uh, the other thing, I guess.”

Scanlan is one of those people who often uses more words than necessary. Grog doesn’t mind; that’s just how he is. Besides, Scanlan being tricky with words is a good thing more often than not.

Still, Grog unlocks one of his arms to touch his own earring and says, “We’re good.”

There’s an assortment of relieved noises in his ear. Instead of trying to make out what Vex, Vax, Percy and Keyleth are saying (that would take too long), he zeroes in on Pike’s voice. It shakes just a little still when she asks, “Do you think you can climb back up?”

Good question. Grog unfolds completely – realising in the process that he’s been wrapped around Scanlan, who also slowly lets go of him – and looks up.

And up.

Not that he can see all that well in the dark, even with the dull light of some of the weird worms Keyleth said are attracted to warm spots, but man, this cliff is high. And, unfortunately, way too steep to climb.

“I don’t think so,” says Scanlan, his head tilted real far back, and Grog remembers gnomes can see pretty well in the dark. “I can’t even see you guys.”

“Man, this is deep. How the hell are you still alive?” There’s wonder in Vax’s voice. Now that Grog thinks about it, yeah, that’s a good question.

They’ve been hired by a local mine owner to kill a monster that mangled and munched on some miners; nobody was sure what it was, other than pointy, dangerous, and probably hungry. After two days underground the S.H.I.T.s finally found the thingy – a big beast with long spikes on its tail and fangs that had to be worth a lot of gold each. Grog, who still had no idea what it was except ‘a future corpse’ (and didn’t really care), called it ‘the thingy’. Then, since it just wouldn’t die, apparently, not without trying to take all of them with it, he called it ‘that fucker’ as he hacked at it with his great axe, grinning all the while (gods, whaling on monsters is fun). And then none of that shit mattered, because it scuttled back and swept its tail behind in a wide arc, aiming for the spot Scanlan stood at a safe distance hitting it with magic (and hitting them with healing spells).

Grog completely stopped enjoying himself or wondering what the creature was called. Instinct took over. He bolted between the spikes and his friend and the giant tail knocked them both over the edge of a drop.

Neither of them died, so clearly it was the best decision.

“What happened to the thingy?” he asks as Scanlan opens his mouth to answer Vax’s question. That seems more of a pressing concern.

“Oh, it’s dead,” comes Keyleth’s voice, then some shuffling as Grog pictures her nudging something heavy with her foot. “Yup, very dead. Ew.”

“I’ll put a handful of fangs into the bag of holding,” says Vex, sounding like she’s not exactly looking forward to it, “so we can show them to Barandiaran and get paid. A couple of those spikes, too. Doesn’t look like they’re venomous, but they might be worth something. Oh, and Keyleth picked up your axe, Grog.”

“Hey, thanks, Keyleth.” Grog feels a little naked without his great axe, but at least he knows it’s in good hands and he’s gonna get it back soon.

Scanlan, who’s been looking a little put out that Grog cut him off, crosses his arms and looks vaguely upwards, in the direction Grog assumes the rest of their friends are.

“Yeah, that’s nice. What about us? How do we come up?”

“I’m not sure you can,” Percy remarks, sounding distracted, like he’s thinking hard. Just as Grog and Scanlan glance at each other in alarm, he continues, “So I guess we’ll have to go to you. Do you see a way out?”

“Hah, yeah sure, we… Wait.” Scanlan peers towards the back of the cavern which, to Grog, looks exactly like the sides of the cavern – utterly dark. “Hang on, I think we actually passed this way earlier on our way up. It’s not far from where we last set up camp to lunch-dinner-whatever.”

“Are you sure?”

If it was anyone else than Pike who asked, Grog is fairly sure Scanlan would have said something snarky; but Scanlan is funny about Pike. Even in the dark at a foot of a cliff, where she can’t see him, he beams like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

“Sure I’m sure! I dropped an apple core not far from here – pretty sure I can find it again if nothing ate it in the meantime.”

“Do not move,” says Vex, almost as sharp as when she demanded a sign of life from them. “Seriously. Stay put, we’re coming down to meet you. You’re closer to the way out anyway, we’ll be retracing our steps.”

“Sure you’re both okay?” Pike asks. “Not hurt?”

Grog smiles. As usual, he took some damage in the fight, scuffs and scrapes and things – he’s definitely gonna have new scars on his shoulder and his thigh – but he’s super tough and he heals fast. And apart from a few bruises of his own Scanlan doesn’t move like someone who’s injured.

They both reply in the negative. Scanlan’s answer is longer and more flowery. Pike says, “…O–kay,” a little uncertain, but it sounds more like she’s still worried rather than her usual disconcerted and/or amused response to Scanlan being Scanlan. Then, because she’s the best, she adds just for Grog, “See you soon, buddies” before the earrings go silent as they walk away and out of range.

The scratch on his thigh is smarting a little and sending tingles down his leg, so Grog makes himself comfortable on the ground while Scanlan stares up the cliff with a funny look on his face.

“That really was a hell of a drop, huh.” He looks back at Grog and smiles. “Thanks, bud. I think I would’ve looked like one of those fancy holey cheeses if you hadn’t been there.”

Grog shrugs. “I mean, it’s not a big deal.” Then, as Scanlan gets a look on his face like he disagrees and it is a big deal, “Hey, by the way, did you do somethin’? ‘Cause for a second there I thought we were gonna go splat.”

He registered sensations as they fell, other than the wind whistling in his ears and his body trying to curl into the tightest ball imaginable to protect his insides and Scanlan’s. A muffled voice against his chest, a warm tingle enveloping him, the impression that the world slowed down for a couple of heartbeats before he crashed into the ground. Either he developed powers – which he doesn’t rule out, maybe he is a secret wizard and just didn’t know it till then – or Scanlan used his own.

It’s hard to see in the mostly-dark, but he thinks Scanlan looks miffed at the ‘no big deal’ for a second before he shakes his head and grins.

“Well, yeah. I had one spell left in me and I wasn’t about to—what the hell, Grog, is that blood yours!?”

His face went from smiling to shocked in the middle of his sentence. Grog frowns and looks down.

Oh.

Yeah.

Shit.

The scratch on his leg isn’t very big, but turns out it’s a lot deeper than he thought. One of the thingy’s tail spikes must have gone deep into the meat of his thigh. It doesn’t hurt more than the kind of injury that takes care of itself with a bit of rest, so Grog honestly hasn’t noticed till now, but it’s bleeding steadily, probably has been since their fall. There would be a little puddle of blood on the ground under his knee if rivulets weren’t slowly trickling down the slow incline and around the bigger pebbles. The back of his trouser leg is warm and sticky almost down to the top of his boot.

“Huh,” says Grog, blinking down. At least that explains the pins and needles in his leg. “That’s, uh. Not. Good?”

“Not good, sure, let’s go with that.” Scanlan hurries closer and starts rummaging around Grog’s belt and trousers. Good thing Grog isn’t ticklish.

“Lookin’ for something?”

“Yeah, the bag – where is it?”

“I don’t have the bag,” says Grog, who doesn’t like that Scanlan’s usual grin disappeared. Scanlan’s always smiling. “I gave it to Keyleth, and she gave it to Percy.”

“Gave it to… Why?”

“He wanted to keep working on a ‘project’ bigger than his pepperbox. Said he needed the bag to keep the parts.”

“Okay, but you don’t happen to have a healing potion on you, do you?”

“Nah, they’re all in the bag. That’s also why I gave it to Keyleth: you lot need those potions way more than me.”

Scanlan stops frisking him and stares up at him.

“I guess, but what happens when you need one and you don’t have any on hand?”

“Then Pike heals me, gets me back up. Or Keyleth, or Vex, or you. I mean, you have magic, right?”

“Sorry, big guy,” Scanlan says slowly, “I’m beat. I don’t have anything useful left – most I can do right now is try to send a message thirty feet away or hurt somebody’s feelings, and neither works on rocks.” He searches his own pockets and adds with a grimace, “Damn, I don’t even have the fun stuff on me.”

“What fun stuff?”

“Just straps and ribbons and things.” Grog blinks; Scanlan shrugs. “You never know when you’re gonna meet somebody who’s down with a bit of bondage. But they’re all in my pack, and I put my pack in the bag of holding –”

“Why’d you do that?”

“Because it was heavy and I wanted to move quickly in case we found the thingy, or the other way around!”

That’s… a good reason, Grog muses. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that not everyone has his muscles and endurance.

Scanlan stands there for a second, his hands in his pockets, slouching slightly. He bites his lip, looks at Grog’s leg, and shrugs off the leather vest he uses as armour. Then he starts to undo the few buttons on his shirt that aren’t already undone.

“Uhh,” says Grog, baffled, “what are you doing?”

“What does it look like? I’m stripping.”

“Okay, but why? Oh, you mean you wanna, like, bang?”

Grog knows Scanlan likes having sex, a lot. Which is fair; so does Grog. Having sex is awesome. But this is Scanlan, his second best little buddy, the guy who never balks at going with him to houses of lady favours, one of the very few people he knows who never talk down to him or treat him like he’s too stupid to understand things. Grog loves him a lot, and the thought of having sex with people he loves is too weird to contemplate.

Also, while a few girls Grog had the best kind of naked fun with had dicks, he’s never been with a dude, and he has a feeling it’d be kinda weird, too.

So he sits up straighter and tries to recall the words Pike taught him in case someone was interested in him and he wasn’t.

“’Cause if you do, I am sorry,” he says, sounding out each word carefully, “you are a great person and I respect you very much, but I am not attracted to you like that.”

He must have got it right on the first try, because Scanlan chuckles as he takes off his shirt.

“You don’t know what you’re missing, buddy. Don’t worry, though, I will do my best to live with the sting of rejection.”

He eyes his shirt, then Grog’s thigh, and makes a whole-body eh gesture before walking right up to Grog. “No, my big, incredibly sexy goliath friend, I’m not trying to woo you. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’d totally be DTF if, you know, you were interested and I’d get to not be dead by the time we’re done, but that’s not why you’re getting a strip tease.”

“So?” asks Grog, still puzzled. It was warm in the part of the cave where they fought the thingy; Keyleth said it’s because of some gas that makes it smell like walking into a fart at times. But Scanlan usually gets cold way before he does. Why did he take off his clothes?

“So, while we’re waiting for the others to waltz back in and save the day…” Scanlan stops, cocks his head to the side. “By which I mostly mean Pike. She’s amazing like that. Hopefully she still has energy for some spells left – but failing that, a bag full of healing potions works, too. Anyway,” he adds, crouching in front of Grog and trying to wedge the shirt under his thigh as gingerly as he can, “while we’re waiting, you’re getting a bandage so you don’t bleed to death. Or rather the funny word Vex said that time, way back, before Pike came into the picture… You know, the thing she tied around Vax’s arm when he got stabbed bad… What was it – sounded kinky, like pourniquey, or… Tourniquet! That’s it!”

The triumphant grin turns into a grimace when he has to pull on his shirt with all his might to fasten it properly. He’s so small there’s almost not enough material to tie a really tight knot, even when Grog gives him a hand and pulls on the sleeves as hard as he dares. So Grog also keeps his right hand firmly on the wound, half at Scanlan’s insistence and half because of a dim memory from when he was really young, of seeing a fellow member of the Herd clutching a gushing wound to keep the blood inside while other people ran for a healer. His father made him watch so he’d toughen out. Grog guesses it worked.

When they’re done, Scanlan takes a step back and a satisfied look at his handiwork with his fists on his hips.

“There you go. Deluxe bandage. I’ll be taking that shirt back when you’re done with it, though. That’s imported silk from Marquet.”

Grog watches the blood slowly seep into the fabric, dark on white, and frowns.

“Scanlan?”

“Yes, bud.”

“Do you really think I’ll bleed to death? ‘Cause that would be a shitty way to go.”

Scanlan’s eyebrows go up, his smile goes down. He goes to sit on Grog’s left and elbows him in the side.

“What? No, Grog, come on. You’ll probably go out fighting dragons and hydras, only you’ll be so old by then people will wonder How the hell is he still alive and still so awesome? Also, who is that extremely handsome gnome bard who seems so chummy with him? Do you think they’re single? Unless you’d prefer to die peacefully in your bed, surrounded by your kids and grandkids. That might not be so bad, either.”

“Pssh, are you kidding me?” Grog scoffs. “That last one sounds lame. I prefer the other one, it’s badass. Plus I’m a dude, so it’s not like I can have kids, right?”

Scanlan scrunches up his face.

“I mean. You don’t get to, you know, grow them inside you, but you do get to help make ‘em if you want some. As far as I know that’s the fun part anyway.”

Then, as Grog nods and does his best to look knowledgeable, he gives him a funny look.

“Grog.”

“Yes?”

“You… do know how kids happen, right?”

“Obviously,” says Grog, who has little to no idea, but who’d rather get stabbed by a thingy again rather than admit it.

Scanlan shuffles forward to perch himself on Grog’s good leg, just before his knee, and squints up at him.

“Okay. Spill. Where do you think babies come from?”

“’That a trick question?” Grog scratches the back of his head and tries to dredge up relevant memories. The topic’s never been of much interest to him. “Well, sometimes ladies get big, so they go to the healer’s tent and, well, they make the babies, I guess.”

About a year after he came to live with the Trickfoots, Pop-Pop Wilhand tried to explain what that entailed exactly. His explanation was long, rambly, and full of embarrassed hemming and throat-clearing. He said something about a man and a woman loving each other very much, then segued into flowers and bees, and by the time he reached the tadpoles Grog had checked out completely. He listened politely, or rather waited for Wilhand to finish his speech so he could go outside and help Pike chop up wood. Wilhand did so with relief and the pleased look of someone having Done Their Duty, and Grog walked away wondering what the hell that was about.

Technically he could ask Pike about it, of course, but he won’t. Either she got the same talk and didn’t understand either, or she knows a lot more than him and he’d look like an idiot.

It’s always hard to read Scanlan at the best of times, but at least he’s not laughing at Grog, just staring at him like he’s expecting more.

“Uh-huh. Okay. But before that?”

Grog is sitting in a puddle of blood that isn’t even someone else’s, his thigh started throbbing while he wasn’t paying attention, and he hates feeling cornered like this. His patience has limits. He crosses his arms against his chest and says in a huff, “I don’t know, mate, that looked like none of my business, so I didn’t ask, okay? Nobody ever managed to explain that shit properly, anyway, so I figured it was magic. Just works and no one really knows how.”

Scanlan looks blank for a few seconds. Then he smiles widely, and to Grog’s relief it’s not the kind of smile that means he’s gonna say something snarky.

“It’s not magic, buddy – well, not that kind of magic, anyway. It’s just sex.”

“What?” asks Grog gruffly.

“People make kids by having sex.”

“You’re messin’ with me.”

“I’m not!” exclaims Scanlan, throwing up his hands in the air. “I promise!”

Grog pauses to think. “…Really?”

“Yep. That’s why I said helping make them was the fun part, not actually making them.”

He did say that. Grog thinks some more.

“So… a dude really can’t, like. Grow a baby.”

“If he has a vag and the right insides, sure he can.”

“Oh. Cool.”

“But you need at least two people to bump uglies for that. One of each set.”

Grog taps his finger against his chin. “So, uh. How’s that work?”

And Scanlan explains, matter-of-factly, with normal words and all sorts of expressive gestures, what goes where and how. It doesn’t sound all that complicated. Why so many people clam up and go red about it is just baffling.

But then something disturbing occurs to him.

“Scanlan?”

“Oi?”

“Do I help make a baby every time I visit a house of lady favours?”

“Nah,” says Scanlan confidently. “There’s potions and cantrips for that kind of stuff. These ladies are pros, they know what they’re doing.”

“And the ladies that aren’t pros?”

Scanlan looks thoughtful for all of two seconds. Then he waves the thought away. “Like I said, potions and cantrips. I’m sure it’s fine. If you don’t forget to pull out in time it’s all hunky dory.”

“Oh, good.”

Then he remembers he’s supposed to keep a hand on his thigh, to help the doohickey do its thing. After he presses his palm flat on the wound again, though, he lifts his hand again to glance at it real quick, and frowns.

There’s a lot of blood on and under his leg. More than before. His palm drips with it and some of it is seeping up on the back of his hand from between his fingers. The doohickey did slow down the flow, but Grog’s pretty sure that so much blood on the outside rather than the inside is a bad sign. So’s the tingling that started in his fingers and has been creeping up to his elbows in the last few minutes.

Nothing he or Scanlan can do anything about, though, so he doesn’t bring it up.

Scanlan is humming absently, still sitting on Grog’s good leg. He leans back and yawns, then mutters, “Where’d they go, by way of Wildemount? We didn’t take so long going up, right?”

Grog shrugs. Without the sun or the night sky it’s always hard to tell the passage of time, so he stopped trying. Maybe it’s night outside and his body knows it, hence the impression that the ground is leeching warmth from his bones.

“Gettin’ cold too, huh?” he asks with a jerk of his chin to Scanlan’s bare chest. Scanlan shakes his head.

“Gods, no. This place is more stuffy than the Nine Hells. Well, maybe not literally, it’s probably even hotter down there, but I’m not sure it smells worse. Like… farts and rotten eggs. Ugh.”

“Can’t be that warm if I’m getting cold,” Grog points out, lower than he means to. Wait, when did it get hard to speak at a normal volume?

And why are his eyelids so heavy all of a sudden?

Scanlan’s gaze whips up to his face then down to his leg so fast Grog has trouble following. He springs up and sits astride Grog’s other knee, close enough to press a hand on the wound, right next to Grog’s. His hand is so tiny that it immediately looks like he dunked it in blood.

“Shit,” he says in a tone so sober it sends a chill up Grog’s spine. With the other hand he touches his earring. “Guys, can you hear me? Pike? Pike, we need you here, fast, it’s… Ah, fuck.”

Nobody answers. They’re still out of range. Numbers are stupid and make no sense, but ‘five hundred feet’ suddenly sounds like a lot anyway.

Numbers are stupid; Grog isn’t. He doesn’t need to be able to count to weigh up the odds and see that they’re starting to look bad. Like, bad bad.

The shirt Scanlan used as a doohickey has gone almost completely red, for one. So has the hand he’s pressing into Grog’s thigh with so much force – for him – Grog actually feels the weight of it. Maybe Grog should worry more about the dark that’s creeping up on the edges of his vision, but at this point it feels like too much pointless effort.

“Hey!”

Scanlan snaps his fingers in his face, making him start awake.

“None of that, you’re not going anywhere. Come on, you just gotta wait for the others. They’ll be here soon. Guys? I’m serious, get your asses down here stat. Tell you what, I’m gonna keep talking till one of you replies. I’m going to annoy the shit out of you and you’ll hurry back here just to get me to shut up. How’s that sound?”

Still no answer. Scanlan throws his head back and lets out a string of very creative swears. If Grog wasn’t halfway gone he’d congratulate him.

Gods, it is a shitty way to go. Bleeding out in the dark after fighting a thingy he didn’t even get to kill. Fighting dragons and hydras when he’s really old would’ve been so much more badass.

Somehow, without meaning to and even without much breath left, the words must have passed his lips, because he could swear Scanlan turns pale.

“Stop it, okay? You’re not helping. Forget the thingy, you’re not dying now just because of… Godsdammit! Guys! Help! Pike!”

The last word sends a jolt throughout Grog’s body. Pike is kind and bright, fierce and strong; she loves drinking and fighting and helping people. She would get sad if he died, and the world isn’t right when Pike is sad. Scanlan gets it. He’s always trying to make her smile or laugh.

“Come on, buddy, please don’t – PIKE! Oh guys, thank gods, just – no, shut up, get the fuck over here now! Pike… Please…”

Scanlan’s voice cracks a little on the last word. Grog didn’t know it could do that.

The last thought that successfully takes shape in his brain is that maybe this isn’t such a shitty way to go, after all. He saved Scanlan from the thingy, and Scanlan saved them both from the fall; and sure, he’s not taking a big badass monster with him, but he’s dying with a good friend at his side. It would have been a bummer to die alone, in the ass crack of the world, with miles and miles of rock between him and the open sky.

Grog’s right hand goes slack and slides down from his thigh.

Scanlan makes a strangled noise.

“Grog, don’t you fucking dare—”

Everything stops.

* * *

“—og. Grog. Can you hear me?”

There’s a voice in Grog’s ears, piercing through the fog, and he makes an effort to shake the cobwebs because Pike definitely sounds scared and she never does.

…Wait. This feels weirdly familiar, like a dream he’s already had.

Time pauses, rewinds. Grog recalls a fight, a fall, a friend – yeah, that definitely happened. His right thigh aches dimly, and exhaustion is weighing his bones. That tracks. But also, he’s alive, which definitely doesn’t.

Plus there’s a wet nose that smells of bear nuzzling the side of his head.

Voices burst out (“Hey furball! Back off, let him breathe!” vs. “Trinket, darling, give him some space”), but as usual there’s only one Grog really pays attention to.

Sure enough, when he works his eyes open, Pike is crouching just in front of him, very pale but smiling, looking up at him with tears in her eyes. Her holy symbol is still glowing faintly from between her clenched fingers and her dark hair is falling out of her crown of braids.

“Hey, buddies,” she whispers. “Welcome back.”

Her voice quivers a little, but the small hand laid on his chest is perfectly steady. Maybe it’s the residual warmth of whatever spell she hit him with, maybe it’s just because he’s surprised and happy to find himself not dead after all, or maybe it’s because he just loves Pike a whole lot and he’s glad to see her – the last vestiges of cold leave him.

“Hi, Pike.” He frowns. “Did I die?”

She chuckles, and lets go of her pendant to wipe her nose on her sleeve.

“No. Well. Maybe just a little,” she says, still with that weird combo of big smile and wobbling voice. “You gave all of us a hell of a scare, you know.”

All of us?

Indeed, now Grog’s eyes focus farther than Pike in the light of a torch planted into the ground, there’s Keyleth, staring at him with wide eyes, shoulders trembling just a little; Vax, a look of naked relief on his face so stark it startles Grog; Vex, one hand gripping Trinket’s fur and the other grasping Grog’s good leg – whether to prop herself up or to physically make sure he’s indeed alive is anyone’s guess; Percy, both fists clenching and unclenching as though of their own accord, breathing much too deeply and carefully to be natural; and Scanlan, sat slumped near Grog, his face almost as white as his shirt was before he took it off. Blood coats both his hands past the wrists and his eyes are almost as shiny as Pike’s.

“Told you,” he says with a weak smile, “dragons and hydras. Not some random thingy in a cave that smells like farts and rotten eggs. Also –”

He holds up the bag of holding and fishes out a sparkling red bottle that he hands out to Grog.

“There you go, big guy. Bottoms up.”

The healing potion must be one of the really good ones. It goes through Grog like a trail of fire, energy fizzing to his fingers and down to his toes. He doesn’t usually need potions to heal, so it’s odd to feel flesh knitting itself up and blood rushing along his veins again. His limbs still feel weird, and he has a feeling he’s going to need some rest before he’s back to full health, but life and strength are flowing through him once more.

Turns out Scanlan was right: it takes more than a thingy to kill Grog Strongjaw.

Vex takes the empty bottle from him and the bag from Scanlan, who barely reacts, and asks, “Better now, darling?”

“Yep, all good,” Grog replies. It’s not really true, and he doesn’t miss a look from Pike that says she’s going to keep an eye on him no matter what, but it feels kinda true, and that’s enough for now. “So what now? I mean, we’re done here, right?”

“I suggest we find a safe place to camp before we head out,” says Percy, looking around as though he expects another thingy to leap out of the shadows. Which wouldn’t surprise Grog overmuch, really. This place sucks.

They all agree, and after Vax suggests they set up camp where they stopped earlier, pretty close from here, most of them leave to do just that.

To Grog’s relief, nobody fusses over him more. He’s not used to people worrying about him outside of Pike and Wilhand. It weirds him out. Vax slaps his arm with a smile and walks away, Trinket padding after him; Keyleth climbs back to her feet and pats his shoulder awkwardly, though her smile is warm and genuine; Percy gives him a nod before following her, his breathing normal again.

And Vex tightens the bag’s drawstrings and puts it in his hands.

“Grog,” she says. “Um. Listen.”

Grog listens.

“I know you can take a hit better than anyone else. It takes a lot to knock you down, like… a lot. And I know today was, well, an anomaly. But I was thinking… You should keep the bag. You know, full time.”

“Okay,” says Grog, who’s waiting to see where she’s going with it before deciding if it’s worth getting angry about. He loathes being coddled. But Vex also essentially said he was a tough motherfucker, so that makes up for it. “Why?”

“Because you’re not just tough. You’re the fastest of all of us, so if anyone needs a potion or something else from the bag in the heat of battle, you can just run and give it to them, right?”

Oh. Yeah. That’s a pretty good reason. Good thing he didn’t get angry.

“As long as you don’t forget to take one yourself when you need it, okay?” Vex adds in a softer tone. “Anyone can need first aid at some point, dear. Even a barbarian built like a brick shithouse.”

“Right.”

She looks at him intently some more, as though there’s a question in there he’s supposed to answer. When it becomes obvious that he’s said all he wanted to say, she rises, winks at him, and leaves him with Pike and Scanlan.

Vex’s winks are something else. More often than not she uses them at other people like she fires her arrows, so being on the receiving end of a nice one for a change is a treat.

“What’s that on your leg?” Pike asks Grog as they all stand up.

Grog is about to reply ‘just some blood’, but then he remembers Scanlan’s shirt is still tied around his thigh and that’s why Scanlan’s holding his leather vest instead of wearing it.

“I forgot,” he says, “I did get first aid. Scanlan made a doohickey, look.”

Pike does look at the doohickey. Then at Scanlan. Then back at the doohickey, Grog, and then Scanlan again.

Scanlan stuffs his hands into his pockets.

“I mean,” he says just a little uncertainly, “I was tapped out of useful spells and I think that’s how you tie a tourniquet – but then again, you know, I’m a bard, if you asked me what rhymes with ‘tourniquet’ that’d be more my speed. Like, I might say ‘turning key’ but good luck fitting that in a song and it doesn’t really match the scans—”

Without warning Pike grabs him into a hug. An actual hug, so sudden Scanlan doesn’t even have time to say anything, and so tight he lets out a little breathless ooof. He goes an interesting shade of red. Although maybe that’s just because he just got crushed against chain mail.

“Thank you,” she murmurs, very quietly but so fiercely Grog has no trouble making out the words. “Just a minute more, and I wouldn’t have… He’d… Thank you.”

Well then. If Grog still had any doubt left that he really would have died down here without his best little buddies… He’s not afraid to die, as such, especially if it’s against something really badass or to protect someone he loves (which is not that many people). But he’s fucking glad he didn’t.

Scanlan looks at Pike (or rather the back of her head, mostly), looks at Grog, and, wonder of wonders, says nothing for once – just holds her back a little awkwardly, his vest dangling from his hand.

It doesn’t last long anyway. Pike lets go of him and steps back quickly, looking a little self-conscious, like she just only noticed he’s naked from the waist up. Chest hair or jewellery probably doesn’t count. And that’s funny, because she’s never like that around Grog, who rarely wears anything except his trousers, belt, and boots. Plus, now, the doohickey, which he manages to loosen but not quite untie; the knot is really tight and the congealed blood isn’t helping. So he shrugs it off for now and picks up both gnomes, setting one on each shoulder. Pike is a little heavier than Scanlan, because of the chain mail, but as usual it’s like carrying a couple of kittens.

There. Just as things should be.

“Hey, Scanlan,” he says, walking towards the others while Pike wipes her eyes and clings to his shoulder a little tighter than she usually does, “sorry your shirt got messed up.”

“It’s okay, buddy. It was for a good cause.”

“You know,” says Pike, “I think a tourniquet works better with a stick. I could teach you.”

“Well, not many sticks underground, but I suppose if needs be I can always use my—”

“Your what, Scanlan?”

“—flute! I was gonna say ‘my flute’! I am not risking the Cube just to make a dick joke, guys, come on.”

“Hey Pike, remember when Wilhand said babies come from birds and tadpoles? Turns out he was wrong.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. They actually come from people havin’ sex. Do you thinks he knows?”

“I… You know, I think you should definitely tell him next time we see him. Sounds important.”

“Pike? This Wilhand, he’s your… great-grandfather, correct?”

“Great-great-grandfather, why?”

“Oh, nothing. Hey Grog, be a pal and pass me my pack, will you, there’s a clean shirt in there. Also, tell me someone picked up my flute?”

Turns out Vax did.

Having friends, Grog reflects before they settle down around a campfire and take a flagon of ale from the bag, is indeed pretty great.

⁂

(uuughhh I'm still meh about the last sentence (it's been kicking my arse for the past two days at least) 😭 I'm waiting to see if/when my beta is available to look this over before I post it on AO3, but I will as soon as I can 💜)

EDIT oh!! I had fun with a 5e monster/NPC stat block builder and homebrewed a thingy :D Let me know if you think it's appropriate for a level 5-ish party! (ngl, I ripped the Deadly Leap feature from the bulette ^^')

What do you think? Total shit or could actually work?

[aredlemon]

A Part. Ao3

Summary:

Sure, it was only obvious that the breakup would hurt Patton. But did no one think about love itself?

Or

The others forget Roman is literally love but his bro comforts him

Notes:

First fic! Pardon me if it isn’t up to par but I wanted to get something for you out. (Also some shit happens in my real life, oh and procrastination)

Cw: oblivious/ignorant sides, slight Patton bashing, descriptions of someone looking sick, Remus comforting his bro, Roman has self deprecating thoughts.

Pairings: none!

~~~

It had been only about a week since the breakup. Not that it mattered, the others were still furious. Rightly so. It was all his fault!

The window was open, a slight drift moving the curtains. The sun was setting, casting the room in a low, orange light. The floor was littered with tissues, an overflowing trash can not too far from them.

Roman lay on the bed staring up. His prince costume had long been discarded. His skin was pale, rosy cheeks stained with tears only accentuating that. His hair was disheveled, it looked to be less saturated than before.

“Why must you ruin everything…”

A chocked sob escaped Roman. His voice was barely above a whisper, throat aching after what must have been hours of crying. He let out a shaky breath before continuing his soliloquy.

“If only you had just…Done you *job*…”

Roman turned to his nightstand. There lay a letter. A love letter. Funny wasn’t it? How the one to call Thomas all those names was the same person who called him ‘love’. It didn’t matter anymore. Roman had failed at his sole purpose. Keeping Thomas happy.

———

Remus paced around his room. Not out of anxiety or worry. Janus had prohibited him from entering the living room after he brought in a second dead body. It wasn’t his fault the first one needed a friend!

“Wonder how he’s holding up…” he thought out loud.

Remus seemed to have been the only one to notice Roman’s sudden absence. He was his brother after all, plus Roman was his favourite person to annoy! The others seemed to be too preoccupied with Patton…That bastard. ‘Oh look at me so sad! I am feelings!’ Well, Roman was passion, love for fucks’s sake! It made Remus feel weird…He didn’t like Roman…but they were still brothers.

“That’s it” and with that, Remus quickly vanished from his room.

———

It was deafeningly silent. A tear made its way down Roman’s cheek. He didn’t even bother wiping it away this time, much too tired to move. He looked sick. White hairs had started appearing on his head, all colour having been drained from his eyes. There was no point in trying.

‘At least I won’t burden them anymore’, ‘It’s better like this’, ‘I deserve this’, thoughts like these were floating in Roman’s brain. His eyes slowly closed.

“I’m so fucking sorry Thomas.”

———

Few moments passed before Remus rose up. Morning star in hand, ready to cause trouble.

“Oh Ro-Bro~ Are yo-“ Remus was cut short.

The sight of his brother made his stomach churn, something not many things were able to achieve. No, that wasn’t his brother. His brother was lively, loud, happy…this…

A loud thud was heard as the morning star fell from his hands. Rushing to his brother he sighed in relief when the faint heartbeat and slight coldness of Roman’s breath against his hand alerted Remus he was still alive. He withdrew and placed a hand on Roman’s shoulder, shaking him lightly.

“Ro-Bro, get up.” Remus’ worries came back, since Roman didn’t seem to wake.

“Come on now,” he growled, “get up you fucker!” He shook him more violently, worry slipping into his voice despite his efforts to remain calm.

Why was he even so worried? Roman was still alive after all, and he probably would wake up…oh for the love of fuck! Remus allowed tears to spill from his eyes, voice coming out in a sob as he begged Ro to wake up.

———

Roman’s eyes slowly fluttered open. It must have been morning, perhaps early mid day? Whatever, it’s not like he really cared. His eyes took a bit to adjust to the light invading the room through the curtains. He felt light, almost as if he were floating. Was this a dream?

“Hmmmgg…Ro?” A voice startled him.

Turning his head ever so slightly he was met with Remus’ gaze staring down at him. It seemed as though he had just woken up, still rubbing his eyes. Dark circles framing them, still damp from tears cheeks accompanying them. He looked so…exhausted? Roman had never seen Remus like that, let alone crying. Roman looked at him, trying to ask what was wrong but his voice betrayed him. What came out was a slight whine, barely audible.

“Oh you fucker.” Remus dipped down and hugged him.

Resting his head in the space besides Roman’s head he wrapped his hands around the prince. He felt so relieved. Roman was ok. He quickly pulled back after a groan from his twin’s lips reminded him that he was crushing him. Sitting besides him, he helped Roman sit up on the bed, making sure not to move him too quickly.

Roman felt dizzy, as if his brain was melting in his head.

“What ‘re you doin’ here…?” He slurred out.

Remus stammered, bewildered. Was he really being serious? “You’re kidding right? Roman, you haven’t come out of your room in a week, I come in and find you barely alive, and you ask me why I am here!?”

He didn’t intend on sounding angry, let alone upset, but it happened to come out that way. But was he at fault? Roman was acting like such an idiot.

Roman jolted back a bit. He looked scared. Upset. Worst of all he looked sorry. Ready to break and start apologising, saying sorry for making Remus worry, sorry for being a burden, sorry for being a failure.

Tears spilled from his eyes. They had gained back some of their colour, same with his skin and hair, but he still looked sickly. He tried to speak, but all he could muster up was a faint “s-sorry”.

No, Remus must have misheard right? He all but lunged forward and embraced Roman.

“No. Stop. Just…it’s ok, I’m here” he said as Roman started to sob into his shoulder.

“Sorry for *hic* making you…w-worry” Roman’s words came out barely audible.

“Don’t be. You did nothing wrong, hear me? Nothing.”

Remus patted his twin’s back, humming softly to soothe him. Oh dear….He didn’t like seeing his brother like this. He missed the brave, annoying, over the top Roman. As he made a mental note to give the others a piece of his mind Roman spoke up, finally having calmed down a bit.

“You’re…not mad?”

‘Might as well have driven a dagger straight through my heart’ Remus thought. “No I’m not. Just…I’m sorry, I should have noticed sooner.”

Before Roman could protest Remus continued.

“Just, listen, you’re not a failure, a screw up, whatever. Thomas will find someone new. Shit happens ok? Just cause it’s a part of your job to be love doesn’t mean anything. That’s only a part of you. A part of the amazing Roman.” Remus chuckled. “The, very sadly, lesser of the twins~”

Roman chuckled and pushed Remus off of him.

“Fucker” he said while smiling. ‘Well, what did I expect?’ Roman thought. Remus was his brother after all, and as much as he wanted he couldn’t stay mad.

Plus, the teasing was a part of him, right?

Notes:

Hope you enjoyed! Again this is my first one so sorry for the bad writing. Also for the fact that it’s short, wanted to get it out this week.

-ARedLemon :)

[notvv0ltz]

Self

Alright everyone, this topic isn't going to be about an art but rather about self… Or selves (foreshadowing). I'm writing this because not much of people are describing their experiences in this complicated sense of self.

So, like… Originally this post was planned to go deep through my traumatic experiences, but then I realized that no one needs to hear that. And it was also mentally breaking to me, so I will mention things only briefly just to give a context.

Still, the warning stays the same: my opinion on such matter and use of terms may differ from your own, and it still stays as an extremely personal post from a mentally ill person, read at your own risk.

I'm a guy who lives in a much better place now with queer found family, but before that my life quite sucked. I can barely remember my childhood, but I know that my trust was betrayed, and I couldn't rely on people in real life at all for different reasons. Not going into details of this one, but I'll just say this: I feel physically unwell when people are angry at me, especially when they're gaslighting me, and that's not without a reason. There was also a time when one parental figure drank heavily since I was 4 and continues to do so in a "mild" manner. I also have a physical evidence that I was "too tired" when I was 6 already. Overall, there were situations which my brain perceived as not safe.

It all made me socially isolated and apathetic for a long period of time. And I also had a vivid imagination. So vivid that I could stare at ceilings for hours without moving. It became maladaptive at my worse periods of life and disrupted me from doing schoolwork. But out of every other ways to cope I could have at that time, this one was the most harmless.

This had its own consequences, though… Everything changed when I had a breakdown in teens and I started feeling someone patting my back, but no one was there. It was my character (if you know, you know), that since then lives rent-free in my head.

What that truly was is still unknown to me, like why he suddenly feels like a very real person talking to me and why his speech doesn't feel scripted at all. He progressed from being my protector from The Bad to someone with his own desires and urges that contradict mine. To someone who disagrees with me sometimes and gives me another perspective. To someone who feels differently. But at the same time, with a lot of similarities because, well, we share the same brain.

What did none of us expect is that there were times when he took control of the body. No one from outside notices anything different, but internally it was quite weird to hear myself in my head in a muted way, as if I'm in a backstage. And it was odd and agonizing even for him to control the body that didn't reflect at all his self-image. Every time it happens, we prefer to wait out when he goes back to the "backstage". He is very ashamed of his own existence, so if he ever makes an attempt to not hide, please be nice to him.

Even with such complications, I love him very deeply. Without him, I wouldn't survive, and I'm serious about this. He helped me to process emotions, "co-piloted" when I was in severe stress, he made me feel less alone and misunderstood.

I think, at it's core, it's a healthy coping mechanism. It's just that there are conflicts that are unresolved, and that requires a therapist. I also tried to fit in plural communities, but it did literally nothing good to us. We felt like we needed to qualify for the label and thought that I'm just asking for attention despite us documenting our "huh that's interesting" moments. Because I'm in a better state, the other guy in my head appears less, but that doesn't deny that I have something going on. I don't think that collapsing over a sudden change in feeling self means that we're just, you know, role playing. We should treat people in this confusing state better, even if it ends up that they weren't plural. The rampant fake claiming culture misses the fact that no person that didn't struggle in life would consider this label. You can easily make someone's health worse by not giving them a room to explore themselves and sometimes admit that they were wrong. So please, be kinder.

I hope this post wasn't a bit too much for this blog and was helpful to someone. I tried to cut off the details of my traumas, but it was crucial to note that without them nothing would've happened to me. I also prefer to use more broad terms over specific ones to describe our experience because we're still not sure what's going on. Thanks for reading.

[danpuff-ao3]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks for the tag @lizzy0305! 😘

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

118 altogether. Some old Marvel fics, some meta...107 of them are HP fics.

2. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently only Harry Potter, though I've got some old Marvel ones up.

3. Top five fics by kudos:

Oh hey! It's changed since I last checked...my Top 5 used to be all from the Yes, Daddy series, but a couple of others broke through! Now we have...

Daddy's Boy

Obscene

Daddy Knows Best

Breed Me, Daddy

Contempt

4. What’s your total ao3 word count?

749,120 as of now!

5. Do you respond to comments?

I do my best to! I've had a hard time keeping up with it lately, but my goal is to get to them all eventually...I want all of my commenters to know how very much I appreciate them!!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Haha...haha...huh. Idk. I write too much angst 😭 How am I supposed to pick? I think either A Matter of Time or In My Veins (In My Blood) are probably the worst 2, maybe?

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

...do I write happy endings? Jk, jk...Oh yeah! The Curse of Anteros for sure has a happy ending. A well earned one at that!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Sometimes! Collateral Damage got some hate for a certain twist 👀 Most of my dead doves get weird comments, because I don't pull my punches. The odd weird or rude comment scattered elsewhere. I try to handle it with grace, but honestly I'm a big ole sensitive baby so...🥲

9. Do you write smut?

Oh hell yeah 😈

10. Craziest crossover?

No crossovers really, though I want to write a HP + PJO crossover one day...

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of, and may it stay that way.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yep! And I'm super honored by it!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, not yet! But I'd like to one day.

14. All time favourite ship?

Snarry 4 life.

15. What’s a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Probably old ones from my earlier days, but anything I've posted within the past few years I fully intend on finishing. Even if smile with sweet surprise only gets 1 update a year 🤣

16. What are your writing strengths?

idk 🥲 umm...I write emotions pretty well I think. I write angst pretty well especially. I really care about the characters and portraying them as honestly as I can, and as real as I can, accepting all of their humanity, good and bad.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Hmm. I don't think I could write fluff to save my life...I've made some attempts but 😂 I struggle a lot with my work for various reasons, none of them easy to put a name to. I do have a hard time balancing the idea of...wanting to leave a lot to implication, but trying not to be so subtle people don't actually have a hope of catching on at all. (Thank god for beta readers.)

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I like it, but I worry about Google Translate failing me 😭

19. First fandom you wrote in?

Harry Potter!

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

For sure it's Contempt, and its counterpart Devotion. Truly the story of my soul. All of my feelings about Snarry poured into it. 20+ years of passion and devotion to this pairing! I'm not sure I could love anything more or be prouder of anything more. (Though I do think The Curse of Anteros is my best work, but Contempt/Devotion will always have my heart!)

Tagging: @perverse-idyll, @writcraft, @ac1d6urn, @loneamaryllis, @fleetingdesires, @greenmegsnoham, @lqtraintracks, @somnwritessometimes, @aeternumregina, @broomsticks, @thistlecatfics, @maesterchill, @wolfpants, @mintawasalreadytaken, @saintsenara, @the-paper-monkey, @ashesandhackles, and anyone else who wants to play!

[organ-market]

What Makes Monster Prom Special? | Love Letter and Review

By Ghost Emoji 👻

Monster Prom, 2018

In 2018, the first installment in the Monster Prom series exploded onto the internet and made some major waves in its wake. Monster Prom, developed by Barcelona-based studio Beautiful Glitch, is a multiplayer visual novel where you (and up to three other friends) run around school, courting different monster characters in hopes of asking your crush out to the big prom. Since its release, the game has spawned two sequels, with the third one coming soon. Its sequels take various different spins on this core structure, but it always remains a humorous, multiplayer romp that friends gather on a couch, or a Discord call, to laugh and have a good time. 

Monster Prom’s creator, Julián Quijano, was inspired by a different game with a very similar gameplay structure called The Yawhg, where rather than kiss hot monsters with your friends, you try to save a town from an impending evil. Monster Prom takes the multiplayer narrative adventure of The Yawhg and runs with it to blend internet humor and pop culture references with the hilarity of a multiplayer dating sim, all the while backed by the beautiful art of Arthur Tien.

To me, the game itself feels less like an actual game I want to play and more like a fun activity or experience to share amongst a group of friends. The game’s stated objective is to successfully ask out one of the game’s several romanceable monsters to the prom, but in truth I’ve never felt too bad about being rejected in the game. Winning doesn’t really matter as much as having fun with some close friends, and honestly, I don’t find myself playing the game alone anyway. For my group, it’s practically mandatory that we voice each of the in game characters. Getting into the characters, the weird scenarios, and making funny voices are what make playing Monster Prom so special to me.

Beyond the excellent writing, characters, and art, I think that is what makes Monster Prom resonate with so many people. It is beloved because it can be shared and experienced communally, which is what differentiates it from other visual novels that usually are much more solitary undertakings. The multiplayer aspect to Monster Prom is essential to its success. So even if your fictional monster crush tossed you into the gutter, you and your friends are still laughing along and are ready to play another round.

Spooky Academy, the setting of Monster Prom

That being said, the game is not without its faults. I really do wish the game had a save feature, at least as a contingency. It’s a real shame when the power cuts out, your computer crashes, or somebody has to leave early and you aren’t able to just pick up where you left off, especially if you’re already halfway through the game. This issue is exacerbated by the length of the games, which in of itself isn’t a real flaw. The games always offer a short and long mode, but even so, the game can easily take up 40-50 minutes even on the short mode, especially if you and your friends want to voice the characters (which I really recommend). The Monster Prom franchise as a whole isn’t really for everyone either. Humor is inherently subjective, so if you aren’t laughing at the jokes, you won’t be having a good time since comedy takes the front and center of this game.

Those general flaws are prominent throughout each of the games, so if you like one, you’re sure to like the other ones. The third game in the franchise, Monster Road Trip, is the only one that strays from the dating format. While romance takes a back seat, you instead try to balance your different stats, ensuring none of them reach 0. It’s also the only game where you can lose before its conclusion, and the only one where you lose collectively as a team. I’ve played about two or three rounds of Road Trip and that’s not enough for me to make a solid opinion on it, so for now I really recommend the first two games, Monster Prom and Monster Camp. There’s a tremendous amount of content throughout all the games and enough scenarios to ensure you won’t get bored anytime soon.

My advice for those interested in the game is to just grab the game with the cast you prefer, or even try out the free demos available on Steam. The games themselves are relatively cheap, all priced around $12 USD, but the first game goes on sale frequently for dirt cheap. It’s an interesting and exciting game, and I really hope more games like it follow. Multiplayer narrative video games feel like an untapped gold mine of possibility. You frequently see the genre explored naturally in the world of tabletop gaming, so I’m eager to see what the virtual world has in store for bold new storytelling.

-Ghost Emoji 👻

[edenfenixblogs]

Palm tree, daffodil, and cactus for the Ask Game!

(The villain question, the sibling question, and the “what are you currently learning about” question)

palm tree ⇢ do you have a fictional villain you shouldn’t like but love regardless?

Oh boy. Not technically fictional, but in his fictional representation — Ecbert from Vikings. He’s so compelling and his motivations and intensity is like that of a Shakespearean villain. I mean, just look at his monologue to Jesus in the church. It takes my breath away every time. Even without context.

I also find the real actual story of the real actual man to be fascinating. In general, I find early Anglo-Saxon era British history fascinating.

daffodil ⇢ do you have siblings? if yes, in what ways do you think you’re similar to or different from them?

I do! But none by blood. @will-write-for-food is my sister, who I met in high school. I also have a friend (it feels weird calling her a friend tbh. She’s just my sister) who I’ve had since I was 4 and she was five. She’s also biologically an “only child,” but that made our bond even stronger. Nobody but an only child understands how fucking boring summers are if you’re an only child like another only child. Several years in a row we lived together by force. I would sleep over at her house until her mom needed a break and then she would send us both back and to my parents and on and on we’d go. I was maid of honor at her wedding. I’m aunt to her children.

As for similarities: both my sisters and I are motivated by love and family and kindness and are naturally rebellious in a dangerous way. We can all be snarky and we are all funny as fuck. But we never wanted to do drugs or go out and do any of the dangerous things you saw teens do in movies. We all care deeply about making the world better and believe in the value of choosing kindness and love any time you have the chance—even if it means gritting your teeth and clenching your fist while doing so. But also, we would all fear the fucking world apart if you hurt anyone we love. We also never abandon our friends to prioritize romance. We all value friendship as its own distinct type of love and relationship that isn’t less important than anything else.

For my Since-Pre-k sister, we are really quite different people. She leans more conservative (not in a terrible way though) whereas I’m very leftist. She is extremely romance driven in a way that @will-write-for-food and I are not. Over all, I think she’s a lot more traditional and normative in her life choices than we are, but not in a judgmental way. It’s just how she is. And it doesn’t change any of the things that matter about any of us. @will-write-for-food and I are also much more intellectually motivated than she is. She isn’t dumb though! She’s very smart! She just doesn’t learn things for fun like we do. She goes out and does stuff instead. I value that about her. Whenever I get too in my head she is amazing at shaking me out of it. She’s also not super into politics. She’s very practical.

As for @will-write-for-food and I? Ooooooh boy. There is no way to fully disentangle this. She’s my other half. We are basically the same person. I’m much more optimistic than she is in general. And I’m also soooooooo much more humble. (😉😘) But she is so strong in a way that inspires me. She can keep her head down and keep moving forward in a way that is incomprehensible to me. I’m glad she’s learned to reach out more over the years and know that she doesn’t HAVE TO operate like a one woman emergency crew. But the fact that, when the chips are down, she *CAN?* It’s astounding to witness. She’s also funnier than me. Or anyone. She’s the funniest fucking person in the world. And if you think *I’M* patient?????????? You have all seen NOTHING. You don’t know the meaning of the word patience. None of us do. The word belongs to her.

As for a way I’m different than both of them? Aside from what was already mentioned, I think it’s pretty funny that they are both Irish Catholic with a big, loud Jewish found family.

cactus ⇢ something you’re currently learning (about)?

Interior design. (I got this ask a lot and will give a diff answer every time because I’m always learning a million things)