#for once in your whole fucking life
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confinesofmy · 1 year ago
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my favourite thing about hannibal nbc is that will graham was already very traumatised when the show started. not yet from the gore or the abuse and gaslighting nor from the illness that nearly killed him, but from a lifetime of experience as an autistic person.
he's on-guard at all times, deeply aware that he's different from other people and that sometimes people find him so very interesting that they feel like their interest should outweigh his bodily autonomy. he meets othering from his coworkers with the grim acceptance of a man who fully understands the intricacies of how they are excluding him but also knows he can't stop them. you can see the miles of hurt in almost everything he does, every interaction he has. well, not so much with hannibal after he gets comfortable around him but that's a different post.
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 20 days ago
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Look what we've become.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#Initially I wanted to do a 'Mutiny' quote to follow the 'Luck runs out' quote.#But the musical earworms demanded a different blood to be drawn. And I think it works just as well.#Alright. It's time to confess something. I really struggled with this comic. I didn't want to draw it. Then I didn't want to upload it.#Because I knew I would be here in the tags writing and backspacing for hours trying to articulate my thoughts.#I'm going to talk about death and grief in the tags today so this is your WARNING to look away if you aren't in a headspace for it.#Sometimes in media there are scenes and characters which land on topics so specific to your wounds that it reopens them all over again.#Because here's the truth. When you've known someone like this for nearly your whole life...it doesn't matter how bad the fight is.#You always think 'We'll always have time. One day this dust will settle and we'll rebuild the bridge.'#And then the fucker dies!!! He dies and suddenly there will never ever be time to repair the rift.#Someone you loved died thinking you hated them. And part of you did just a bit. But love and hate aren't mutually exclusive.#He's fucking dead and you are left with so many broken and unfinished pieces between the two of you.#Jiang Cheng loses Wei Wuxian thinking that WWX thought they hated each other.#He's a younger brother who will one day be older than the person he lost.#Who has no one else in the world who understands those feelings of love and hate and grief.#I can't be normal about this character. I don't think he even heals me. Zero catharsis to be gained here.#I just look at his sour grape ass and think 'shit that's a little too close to home.' JC is my discomfort character.#I'm probably going to regret being this vulnerable in the tags in like. An hour. So. sorry if you see this once and never again.#EDIT: Yeah sorry this took 4 hours to muster the courage to post. Surprise update!#EDIT 2: You guys were being too nice to me on my sad comic to point out the spelling error. I have fixed it now B'*)
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mmelolabelle · 5 months ago
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Rhaenyra getting her marriage back on track and seemingly successfully navigating the “We kissed, is it weird now?” situation with Mysaria. All romantic relationships were where they should be. Nothing out of place. Nothing strange or exciting coming along to fuck up the war effort. Wait, what’s that —
IT’S ALICENT HIGHTOWER WITH THE STEEL CHAIR
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shannonsketches · 9 months ago
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he's so important to me
#i guess i need to watch the anime but super's manga has just been a self-indulgent fever dream for me from start to finish#100000/10 absolutely perfect so validating so extremely catered to my tastes and headcanons and analyses and humor#so fucking funny and emotional and intense and goofy and beautifully drawn#my beautiful son getting to finally fucking see his HARD won character growth fucking shine and choose love and choose to be loved!!!!!!#Goku just being Goku Vegeta being Team Dad Piccolo being Team Grandpa Bulma being a fucking superstar keeping everybody organized and fed#god i love this squad i love this series i love these dumbasses and their struggles and their triumphs and their stupid childish bonding#I love that Toriyama just spent the last several years reminding the class that DB as a whole has always been an ACTION-COMEDY about LOVE#and I'm SO sad that the z anime really never did it justice in that sense because of having to fill time with dramatic tension but god. GOD#THE MANGA HAS ALWAYS BEEN SO CLEAR ON THAT THESIS.#Just all about Restorative Justice and Community and CARING even when you wish SO MUCH that you didn't care but yoU DO GODDAMMIT!!!#SUCH a great series I'm so sad it took losing mr t for me to finally read it but my god I needed to read it now and I'm so glad he wrote it#and i'm SO glad he wrote it Exactly Like This#once again rip to a legend i'm caught up and crying it's so perfect it's SO everything I've wanted to see onscreen and embedded in canon#and canon isn't everything but it still feels gREAT to be SO 1:1 on the same page with an author re: how you interpret your blorbo yknow???#been rotating this man in my head for 25 years and Mr Toriyama just mWAH kissed me on the forehead about it#anyway enough tag rambles I'm off again aklsjla#bonus for that kenpachi shit and letting him say 'sorry dude I can't be cold and numb anymore but this is still cathartic as fuck lol' like#mr t i hope you see the HIGHEST tier of heaven for that (and obviously for like everything all of it the whole life you led)#dbtag
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ovaruling · 1 year ago
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maybe a hot take but please don’t have or stop having children if you have an active eating disorder/body dysmorphia (including binge eating, not just restrictive disorders). seriously
thinking you’ll be the exception (because you’re So self-aware, unlike those Other disordered women) and won’t give your dysmorphia/eating disorder to your child is pride before a very slow and terrible fall
it never ever works. you’re never ever immune. i mean, such a huge reason of why there are so many of us now is bc our moms thought the same thing lmfao. didn’t matter how well-intentioned they were. no matter how much they tried to separate Their Problems from Ours. here we fucking are
i know it’s not women’s fault to begin with, but the reality is that those of us affected do incubate, nurture, and pass on the virus in the Current Way of Things
the buck needs to stop here. this isn’t a game. think of all the things your mother probably thought she was expertly hiding from you that you still picked up on and were profoundly affected by in a terrible and formative way. it will happen to you, too. don’t think it won’t.
if you know that you’re not solidly and confidently recovered, you have a responsibility to stop that buck and not actively attempt to create a child who will observe, mimic, internalize, adopt, and inherit your lifelong life-ruining behavior. the selfishness is breathtaking honestly
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total-drama-brainrot · 9 months ago
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Alenoah, where Noah cares about Alejandro, more than Alejandro's family did:
Noah: I will now torture you.
Alejandro: Kinky!~
Noah: I think you are brilliant and beautiful.
Alejandro: Wait!
Noah: You deserve to be cared for and loved, despite your mistakes.
Alejandro: No!
Noah: Your feelings and needs are valid, and deserve to be heard.
Alejandro: I need a safeword! 😳
Real.
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yuridovewing · 4 months ago
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this sequence in the sandy amv makes me insane. btw. dovekit and ivykit’s blissful little kitten ignorance, just happy to enjoy each other’s company, the soft light coloring and shading of the kitten images. and then the harsh transition to dark shading over their faces, each of them standing apart, having been torn from one another due to their horrible mentors.
ivypool’s look of resentment and disgust towards dovewing for the cards she was dealt, and dovewing is just…. tired. she was distanced from ivypool so young, any chance they had to confide in one another is gone. now ivypool is just one more angry face, one more cat who’s expectations dovewing has to manage. she wants to help ivypool but it’s a thankless task and ivypool hates her for it anyways.
there’s no winning for dovewing
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superkitten-poison · 4 months ago
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to me velvette doesnt lie about *being bisexual* for attention but she lies about being bisexual *for attention*. like admitting to being attracted to women would make her a dyke and manly and f/f relationships dont even count bc her internalized misogyny goes so crazy she subconsicounsly does not see women as full people and needs men to validate her own personhood, and since men hold most of the power, surrounding herself with men is in fact a means to power. so one way she feels she Can have sexual contact with women is through excuses: it's for attention, for convenience, as a power play. but never because of her own desires and it can never mean anything. can you imagine? two women in a loving relationship. who would want to see that?
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frogaroundandfindout · 5 months ago
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Bruce comforts Stephanie in her final moments (Batman #633)
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faaun · 1 year ago
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Jack Marsh (2005), Friendship Otherwise - Toward a Levinasian Description of Personal Friendship
#saw carnation lily lily rose by john singer seargent irl today. it was basically at my doorstep all along idk why i never went to see it#it was placed at a corner in the gallery. me and my friend sat down and sketched the paintings of beautiful naked people quite badly. paper#provided by tate britain. she told me about how she couldnt look her boyfriend in the face after a harrowing film about war. when i say the#interview was informal i mean the person who was supposed to be my boss told me let me get you a cider and then he said after#50 years of life he knows people are inherently good and it only takes a little bit of kindness to save this world. he said he tricked#his wife into keeping the baby and then he said he quit his job at a US bank to help people find meaning and in it#he would have liked to find meaning. instead he started climbing with his friends. he said he chews his cigarettes because its a habit from#when he had to hide things from people. the entire time i felt uncomfortable and incredibly enlightened. this is my friends mentor. she has#his pattern of pauses and expletive and penchant for ends-justify-means attitude. i do think im not very clever#but maybe one day i will love you enough to make up for it. i wrote code i dont understand staring at the final error i thought about how#we both thought of how when we're too old to remember the voices of our friends we would like to stand in the pathway of the LHC beam pipe#cut it open and eat light in the freezing cold vacuum (kills you long before radiation will) the invisible puncture wound unfolding dna#back to the start larger than you ever were. you go to heaven once youve been to hell. my friend is in my bed#practicing calculations of eigenvectors by hand and she is uninterested in a visual proof you are uninterested in incompetence#we catch a train this is your kind of burden you tragic hero wincing at that word you only do this because you have to. im the only one#who can. i am a coward in this for the fucking poetry. the visual proofs. the pretty numbers. an architect who was horrible at maths wanted#to be a philosopher and accidentally ended up neck in deep in 70th Error On Visual Studio Code i want to kiss your eyes before we say#goodbye we both know there is no love in the way there should be. I still have your dress in my wardrobe. i hope you make art.#you think im alright head-wise i think you fucking hate me i think ill never be so clever you want me to tell you my idea?#if you wanted more of this world i would have liked to kiss you harder. we cant both be like this. im sorry i cant be with you the whole wa#the love is gone if you have to ask it. his breath catches his eyes feel stiff it is -1.9 kelvin he is near the beam pipe i miss holding#his hand i miss her singing voice i miss his hair and i found the antonym of pain thank you for carrying me home.
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ratatatastic · 2 months ago
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He looks so different with glasses 😂 did not recognize him at first
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terribly funny how much more generic he can get with a thick frame of raybans like ive always believed the whole glasses as a disguise would never work irl but i got punked so hard that when i first saw him in glasses i was like "oh another man" glossed over him then felt the same sensation as when i forget to buy milk at the store, swiped back, scrutinised this for far longer than im comfortable admitting publicly and went "oh my god THATS MY MAN GIRL WHAT ARE YOU DOING"
#ask#i went “maffhew where the hell have you been loca”#she is but a beautiful female protagonist “shackled” by a thick pair of glasses#to me she is even more beautiful with the glasses#but also just another man#ive specifically seen this type of man in so many fucking places...#the fruity english teacher that also teaches the creative writing course because he genuinely enjoys spoken word#the one where you walk into his class see the open class layout... look up at him... look at his fit and go#huh... itd be rude to ask if he has a husband but... you know...#the class where you can tell hes in because you can smell his maple syrup candle from the courtyard#despite there being a whole gym between you and the building hes in because his door is always open and anytime the building door opens#you smell a whole wiff of autumn... it is in fact summer... and always summer where you are...#he doesnt talk about his lovelife at all doesnt even mention anything about it#but everyones curious but hes cool and you dont want to make him uncomfortable so you dont ask but you know you know?#its why you squeal in glee when he shows up to open mic night at the blackbox in the 300 building with his husband in tow because once again#he adores spoken word and gave extra credit to anyone who preformed and he wants to support his students#and hes just so smiley and giggly all night because he finally gets to be with his secret husband and its so perfect and theyre so perfect#and he also your dad because you have daddy issues and having a male figure in your life whos queer and supports you is so important-#you know what!! i think we know a little too much about each other i will stop now!!!! you get the idea!!!!!
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countess-of-edessa · 7 days ago
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idk what exact conclusion to draw about this but of all the families who have ever adopted children that i have known of, only three adoptees (two who are sisters) who really still like and are on good terms with their family. and one of those families had at least one older adopted child who ended up involved in such dangerous things as an adult and was threatening the lives of their then-infant daughters so they had to cut contact with him. literally every other adopted child i have ever known or whose family i have known have gotten into drugs, gotten teenage pregnant, gotten into crime, or all three, in families where that behavior was as discouraged as possible and in environments where none of their peers displayed similar behavior. and these kids were pretty much all adopted as infants, not as older children after experiencing traumatic events. i mean, i assume the subconscious trauma of being separated from one's mother could influence how the brain develops but idk. i'm not anti-adoption by any means obviously but i feel like there has to be a way to develop better outcomes for kids who are adopted.
#other than the three girls i mentioned every other family who adopted that i know of is currently raising the child of their adopted child#because the mother is unable/on drugs/more interested in chasing men#or the son is in jail or was#i guess it does make sense since I see so many adoptees complaining endlessly online about how bad their lives are#because their adoptive parents didn't emphasize their birth culture enough or because their adoptive parents weren't rich#and a birth parent ended up getting rich (real complaint i once saw!) and how they hate the implication there should ever be any gratitude#and honestly im going to be fucking for real.....first of all everyone should have gratitude to everything in their life all the time so yo#don't need to be more grateful to your parents than a bio kid but like im thankful my parents have provided for me and raised me#even though they weren't perfect#and second of all i understand its not good that your birth mother had to give you up for some reason that's very unfortunate#but it is good that when that bad thing happened you were adopted by fairly good parents#(the assumption in all of this obviously being that your adoptive parents aren't like evil but if that's the case that's just growing up#with bad parents which happens to a lot of people)#but if that's not the case then yes you should be glad that when a bad thing happened to you another thing happened to make it less bad#like instead of living in an orphanage forever you got to be adopted by (going by literally all the people who are like this that i know)#upper middle class parents#it's like if you're walking on a tightrope and it breaks but there was a safety net so it catches you and then everyone is like Thank#Goodness For That Safety Net! I'm Glad The Safety Net Was There!#and you're like NO because if you say you're glad the safety net was there it's the same thing as saying you're glad the tightrope broke an#it was bad the tightrope broke so fuck you#and it's like no.......those are two separate things#and also be so fucking for real the life of like a youngest daughter in rural China or Guatemala is not as good as the life of a#middle class American child. in situational terms it is a net positive. but i can understand why that is a bit of a mindfuck#when the children who would be your peers are half a world away and you have luxuries and opportunities they could never imagine#but people who complain that specifically Americans adopted them because they decided (as people who lived in America their whole lives)#that they would have been better off in rural China or whatever..................that is for sure not true#you know why i know#because people from there who get enough money to send their kids out won't stop sending them here!!!!!! do you know how many Chinese#nationals went to my prep school so they could get into American colleges???? the upper class Chinese dream is to get the hell out lmao
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butchnavi · 20 days ago
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i miss stupid rafaela
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camgoloud · 8 months ago
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you ever just. become overwhelmed by a sudden out-of-nowhere wave of tenderness and affection and longing for reconnection directed towards someone to whom you no longer speak for Very Good Reasons
#‘out of nowhere’ she says like she hasn’t been doing a lot of reading/thinking recently about various tragic messy breakups#and the later regrets of the parties involved#anyway. tell me not to text her#it’s been over two years since the last time we talked… absolutely no reason to break that streak now. lord give me strength#she was really fucking mean to me! like objectively intentionally unwarrantedly cruel! it ruined an entire year of my life#and fundamentally changed me as a person on a deep level! there’s a lot of things i used to like about myself that i don’t think i’m ever#going to get back#and yet every once in a while we have to do the whole ‘maybe i could make things right’ song and dance 😔#the thing is most of the time i’m not even really angry with her anymore like enough time has passed since all the shit went down that#really i just sort of look at her behavior and feel sad. both because of the impact on me but also because of the ‘that’s really how you#felt you needed to act towards someone who cared about you? you couldn’t have just expressed your feelings in an honest and productive way#instead of just lashing out in the cruelest possible way and ruining the entire relationship beyond hope of repair?’#and i feel bad and sorry that it went that way and honestly i kind of pity her and hope she’s gotten some of her shit worked out#so i’m not like. actively pissed off at her anymore. but also i can’t think about her without thinking about the worst year of my life so 🙃#i don’t actually feel that trying to reopen that door would be very healthy for me at least#we did try a Reconciliation of sorts a couple of months after the initial falling-out and while it was kind of helpful for me in that she#like. apologized lmao. and affirmed that i wasn’t crazy and she did in fact On Purpose say the most hurtful things she possibly could have#said to me given the information she had at her disposal. and that i really had not done anything to her that could warrant that. etc.#it also left a sour enough taste in my mouth that i just don’t see a future where the two of us spending time together is enjoyable for me#and yet… the regret will always live inside me i think. maybe if i were a stronger person…#caseyposting
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arolesbianism · 1 month ago
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I wish So Bad that I could confidently recommend lob corp and library of ruina to people because they're both genuinely rly good games and I also need ppl I know to understand the insanity that is project moon but like godddd they are a fucking Investment. Both in time and in brainpower. I generally think ppl exaggerate how hard lob corp is but it's certainly not easy and when it does get hard it gets HARD. Also it literally requires at least one day 1 reset (basically a new game+) to fully beat the game and at this point I've done at least 10. And for lor I'm not nearly as far in and I'm just scratching the surface of the real game but it's a beast of its own. Also 100+ hours and also hard as hell. Like this game does not fuck around with its difficulty spikes it will make you use your brain and it will give you a damn headache in the process. It's also one of my favorite card combat games I've ever played with mechanics that just so beautifully complement each other to create a dynamic and interesting battle system that gives it a completely different vibe and feeling than any other deck builder games I've played to the point where it almost feels wrong to me to categorize them together. But also I am not even slightly joking abt the headache thing every time I play this damn game I close it with a horrible headache and have to take a multi day break. I think everyone should experience this with me <3
#rat rambles#for the record I have not played limbus company nor do I plan to but the cast is rly good and I know a lot of ppl vouch for it#let it be known if I ever do get around to reading limbus stuff I will become obsessed with outis shes so me bait#youre telling me shes a middle aged woman a war criminal and a bootlicker? sign me the fuck up#I <3 crusty dusty women who suck ass#also ofc don is also the beloved but thats a given#the real question would be which of the other limbus women would comsume my life#because theyre all contenders for characters that could make me go insane. for better or for worse.#also reason number 500 that everyone I know should play these games is that its sooooo fun to make project moon ocs#ofc I and I imagine most ppl mostly make nugget ocs (aka your employees and combat units in the first two games)#but like its just fun to make ocs in this world in general#the worldbuilding of this game is like 90% built on 'would that be fucked up or what?' and I adore it for that#theyll just be like yeah theres a whole faction that follows these things called prescripts which can range from super simple stuff to#literally impossible stuff and if you aren't able to follow them you will be killed and theres a guy whos job it is to hand them out and he#has to routinely inform people to their face that they have to destroy their lives or die and it eventually breaks him#and you go ok cool Im still not over the teleporting trains that dont actually instantly teleport but instead travel through pocket#dimensions over the course of thousands of years during which the passengers can be injured and mangled and feel pain but not die and it's#not uncommon for whole societies to be formed in them but once they arrive to their destination the state of all the passengers is#perfectly reverted back to their state uppon entering leading to them being none the wiser of anything that had previously happened to them#and they go yeah haha we liked love town too anyways wanna watch this robot have another mental breakdown#and you go fuck yeah and get your ass handed to you
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shock-micro · 2 months ago
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anyone ever have the urge to put a character in a time loop to see what happens. what sorts of self-reflection and discovery would they do with all that time. what would they try, knowing it's a time loop? would they stay strong? when would they break?
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