#for my astigmatism you see
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ermmm so when are you gonna play fortnite with me? ♡
#pwincess#☝🏼🤓#pushes up glasses#for my astigmatism you see#i dont see#again because of my astigmatism#anyways#puppy girl gamer unlocks new game obsession#fort has been in rotation for like almost 2 months so we can safely say its here to stay#im so good at games bls play with me
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beautiful bright moon
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by far the coolest piece I've done so far, Day 6 of Linktober and Inktober: Mask and Golden
click for better quality
#my art#inktober#linktober#inktober 2023#linktober 2023#oot#ocarina of time#young link#ocarina of time link#link oot#keaton mask#majoras mask#link majoras mask#sorry for all the tags#just wanna cover all my bases#its so hard to see the screen rn my astigmatism is so bad rn#i think my eyelid is also swelling up again which is part of why my astigmatism seems worse than usual lmao#had pain in it all day#if you read the tags on my last post its like the same thing lmao#but yeah#this piece was really fun to do#im typing this at 4 am atm#having trouble sleeping and this was the perfect thing to get my mind off all the anxiety i was feeling#tho advice for anyone out there like me do not stay up till 4 am please XD#im just absolutely insane lmao#im afraid imma fall asleep and miss my therapy appt.#its at noon#idk if ill be able to wake up in time lol#but back to the piece it actually came out better than i imagined#ignore the hand tho that was the last thing i did and it killed me XD
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took like a year but finally did a proper ref for this guy lol
made him a lil more fucked up bc like. he blows himself up with experimental magic more than anyone probably should no it wasnt just bc i wanted to draw more bandages shut up
#oc#original character#character design#digital art#blazingart#oc: avalon rainier#through blurry vision and everything bc my right eye decided to kick the astigmatism up to 1000 which is fun#at least i THINK thats what it is. its mildly concerning i might actually have to go see someone abt this bc its my good eye lol#my left eye is a lazy eye and true to its name it does basically nothing#but my right eye has (or had now idk) perfect vision so it never rlly bothered me#except for mild issues with depth and smaller fov on the left#uh. sorry you didnt come here for an eye rant LOL
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I forgot to buy desk calendar for 2024, so in a perfect creative decision to make my life harder than it already is, I think why not make my own monthly calendar because ready made one never have the illustration I like anyway.
So, here it is. A little bit late for january, but I'm so happy with this one.
#if you see the frame is slightly askew look the other way#i have astigmatism#straight line is a pain in my ass and apparently I can never take a straight photo either#been trying to make peace with green so why not draw a bunch of lotus#mysterious lotus casebook#li lianhua#watercolor#my monthly calendar#tiny's art
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it was SO FUN to be outside the club with my neighbor waiting for the Uber under a pernicious SNOWFALL trying to know what the FUCK a damn toyota camry looked like... Literally
Uber: *approaching* are you [my legal name]?
Us: "... are you toyota camry 2022?"
#you would think “but the plaque number!” babygirl. it was snowing. it was dark. i have astigmatism. i couldn't see SHIT.#he was. such a pleasant guy btw. my neighbor was a lil wasted but i can't drink so i was in charge of our well-being#technically i CAN drink. but didn't seem like a smart idea to both be hammered in the middle of the warning due to snowfall#im older than her and im the eldest sister in a latino family so that means im a mother not a sister. those instincts don't die#she's the nicest girl she so interested in my culture. she's the one who told me about latino nights😭#teaching her salsa and reggaeton was... truly an experience... she was really like “you guys really move your ass a lot” 😭😭😭#woke up. and still is snowing. a lot. just saw someone walking like... jumping more than walking tbh. woah.
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pro tip: if you think you have adhd then don't start a master's program before you even get a diagnosis (also you need a stronger prescription, you have astigmatism, and reading glasses aren't gonna cut it)
#i can handle one class just fine but 2 classes??? im killing myself#im working too so its like i never have time for myself and its just a neverending well of assignments and work plus i hate the schedule#why is everything due at 10:59 and why is it due in the middle of the week but i have to come back the next 2 days and write responses#one of my classes will trade out a disucssion for the week with an assignment thats due at the end of the week and i like that sm better#the other class makes use do a discussion and an assignment in the same week#and usually they're all due at the same time so i go to work and then go home do my homework and then do more homework on the weekend#then go back to work do you understand my problem#anyway my mom casually confirmed that i have astigmatism recently which ???#but my eyesight is fine but driving in the dark is hell and its not b/c of the dark!#any kind of bright light blinds me like it could be a sunny day and i won't be seeing shit for that entire drive omg#just realized that this might be the cause of an increase in headaches wait...#ok back on track: adhd consultation (maybe) in a month and a half!#i don't have a therapist so im hoping my doctor can help? or at least refer me to somebody that can help b/c looking is hard omg#where the therapists at omg#moon posts#long one today because i am procrastinating so i can give up <3
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duckduckgo is nice (i like the ui options) but the fact that image search is... like that... and there's no way to change image preview sizes so they're, you know, not just the thumbnail, is really frustrating...
#clearly people want it as an option but 🤷 it's not#just telling everyone to zoom in or make the browser window smaller or enter mobile dev mode every time you search is also not ideal lol#idk i maybe found a userstyle for stylus that might let me do this (i hope)#frustrating because even w/ site blocker google images is PACKED w/ ai results#but ddg image search is like yup I sure do have an astigmatism#if i was uncertain before 😂#nadia rambles#so far it's my only qualm w/ ddg though#but is a problem because i do a lot—a LOT—of image searching#update: the userstyle did not work despite its own image examples showing larger thumbnails lol#*cries* i can't fucking see these ant sized previews
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I want so much to have more time for creative things... I barely have time to continue my Gremia/Damian fic (and despite lack of time I WRITE IT), I have so many ideas, want to tell about Byrgenwerth life of my favourite scholar four - Micolash, Rom(my little ginger sigma-female), Laurence and Caryll, explain my vision of their lifes and write lots of headcanons for them! Explain how Gehrman and Laurence met, how old is Gehrman in my opinion (at least how old he WAS during byrgenwerth era), who is Willem and why he is cool character, tell the whole story of Gremia! I realised yesterday that I see him as a complete complicated person with flaws, funny stories, good and bad sides, things that he likes and dislikes, his possible connection with other characters. I think I have the whole vision of a bloodborne lore by now!
Want to share so much! But time... :'^( I didn't even finish my comic (3 of 6 panels) yet but I still remember about it!
Yesterday I started new drawing again, don't like how I draw at all, I guess it's a sort of period of self-digging? I drew sketch for Micolash/Saint Adeline art but god it's so hard right now. That time of being artist (lol I am not tbh) again. No good line in 10 minutes of struggling wtf I need to sit, take a deep breath in, breath out and draw, learn, read guides, but TIME!!
I want to tell that I ship Micolash/Adeline (as MicoEdgar, both are good, just in different time of Mico's life), Laurence/Rom, Gehrman/Lady Maria, Gremia/Damian, Caryll/Rom in their young age and etс!! Iship lots and lots of things
And with my head full of ideas and cool stuff I have 1 fucking day to take rest of work, and tomorrow 31th of December I am gonna work and it will be hard (I couldn't even guess that life of florist is so hard)
SO!
I often got into depressive mood but husband and friends from Tumblr take me out of it just posting their stuff and being themselves and talking with me sometimes. Just know my mutuals that I may not talk with you but I love your works, what you write, post and everything... Just no energy. All I do is reblog and like your amazing stuff and what you reblog sorry
If you want - send me asks, because even if I am so busy, when someone wants me to do something (write, draw and ;alejfrwlemfgvew;) I'll do it with much more motivation than if I would want myself to do something!
Hope New Year will be great! I always got sensitive when it comes to New Year, cry often when it's 00:00 because I overcome with feelings - so many things have passed, those I deeply cherish in my heart and those I hate (but never really want to forget something! ANY experience makes us stronger and helps to survive). I hope you all will have wonderful year! Even if you feel bad - I have a belief that destiny leads us to places where we MUST be and it is always something that is best for all. World is living in balance with it's good and bad, I always say that. Just maybe we need to look around ourselves and look for good things that surround us but we don't see them/don't care about them/don't want to know.
#personal stuff#You WILL BE HAPPY AND JOYFUL I tell you so now go do your silly things :P#Absouletely useless fact - me and husband came to a conclusion that I am Micolash of our family :'D#And there are reasons for it xD#But nobody got hurt I swear#Only maybe my pride#:^)#I feel how my head becomes empty again#amazing feeling#i don't know if I am asocial or just shy or just introvert or all of them together#also FANTOMETTE my dear I didn't see your reblog of my post about astigmatism found it yesterday!!#can I say that it's cool that we both are wearing them now? xD (I don't know if you like it but I am thrilled)
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See the problem is im starting to draw things that i actually Like. Enough to feel that they deserve more than just flat colors. There is no solution to this! Regrettably
#… maybe ill do some tests tomorrow. i dont know.#ive mentioned it before but like. astigmatisms. make it hard to see light things on dark backgrounds.#I HAVE. DECIDED TO DEDICATE ALL OF MY EVENINGS TO DRAWING A CHARACTER WITH LOTS OF BLACK HAIR. AND BLACK LEATHER. DO YOU SEE MY PROBLEM#urgh idk i could draw more strive testaments. theyre considerably more. matte. what with not being covered (scantily clad) in leather.#but i like drawing old testament ;-; its. fun.#like i drew scared wet beast missing link testament tonight. i cant do that to strive testament. id feel kinda bad.#the kat goes meow
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You know, all of this eye strain and tension headache and migraine stuff ramped up when I finally ran out of my old regular contacts and started using the toric lens my eye doctor prescribed for my left eye. I have my glasses on today because it was getting so bad and my left eye is extremely annoyed with me. I keep feeling like it's refusing to focus until I manually "find" the muscle and force it to. I told her I didn't want astigmatism correction because I have the lowest possible astigmatism you can have and I have never had it compensated for. I didn't think anything of the toric lenses because it was six months before I ran out of regulars (don't ask how long I wear them for all of our sakes, it's way too long because they're fucking expensive) but damn if all this headache and light sensitivity shit didn't start after I gave in and wore the damn toric on my left eye.
And if that's the case it means my glasses are also pretty much non-viable long term because again, she put the astigmatism correction in the left eye and it kind of hurts. The whole point of the glasses was to have a place to relax my eyes away from the contacts, but I haven't yet managed to wear them longer than three days. I just get to feeling lightheaded and strange. I'd go without either but I literally cannot see, so.
#I keep meaning to use another right eye lens on my left eye and see if it helps#it's just that if it doesn't I wasted a lens and those shits are expensive#but my whole contact life I have worn the same script in both eyes with no astigmatism correction#even though I have had astigmatism the entire time#I'm sure this eye doctor thought she was being helpful#but I am slightly in hell and I think she might be partially to blame#today I felt the back of my scalp tighten slowly like a drawstring being pulled#which is apparently 'just' a tension headache#anyway torics are built to conform to a weird eye shape and that means they have to sit specifically correct on an eye#or they fuck you over instead#i am feeling very fucked over yes everything is uncomfortable in my head and nothing helps#it's like a raccoon mask of ow#personal#i just needed to make words about it that's all
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I really like the concept of Akihiko wearing glasses...
I don't know why he wears glasses with his butler oufit when none of the other guys wear any, but I think it looks really cute on him
Also, I wonder how he would react to finding out he needs glasses? Like maybe he would start having trouble while trying to study, or feeling headaches while training, but it's hesitant to speak to anyone about it...
MAYBE he would aproach Mitsuru all worried like "I'm afraid the dark hour is having some sort of weird impact on me..." and she would take him to the doctors from the Kirijo group only to find out he's actually just nearsighted.
I love his little glasses so much 🥺😭
#i don't think he would even think about that#also it's not really obvious when you only have like 0.5 or 0.75#when i first put my glasses on i was like BITCH?? you guys seeing this everyday? and i only have 0.5#also i wore glasses before but it was only for astigmatism and it's very different from being nearsighted
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Honestly I can’t believe my eyes don’t even face forward in my head like how fucked up can one body be
#the misalignment should have been caught earlier but most doctors don’t really care tbh#last time I saw one she noted the astigmatism and I said can I have glasses and she said no#‘I know your eyes are fucked and you’re reporting double and blurry vision and I’ve assessed biological causes’#‘but I won’t give you the one thing that will reduce how hard your eyes have to work just to function. because I can’#it took me a year and a half to even come around to the idea of seeing a new eye doctor about it#I’m that used to being told no one can do/is gonna do anything about my symptoms#it was weird to have a doctor care. and when I asked soooo do you think glasses would help#she said oh DEFINITELY you need glasses. they will help a lot.#I wanted to cry#mb
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That vr46 is such a highlighter lol
#even from afar you can see it#imagine in sepang or whatever the lights will be reflected from the bike lol#my astigmatism ass will die
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sometimes i think about the fact that i need to pay to be able to see properly and than i'm like wow that's insane
#this post is about glasses incase you couldn't tell#everytime i go to the optometrist to check my eyes my eyesight is worse and that scares me so much#i went from my lenses being both positive to one being positive and the other being negative to both of them being negative#because my right eye is a lot better than my left eye i can still see without my glasses but still#everytime i take my glasses off and only look through my left eye i am shocked at how bad my sight is#can it be a lot worse? ofcourse! but i could also be a lot better#gosh and then i have astigmatism as wel#glasses#kj post
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how the hell do amateur astronomers map asteroids n shit. i can barely find the moon in my telescope
#i saw saturn shes pretty but like. eh.#my eyes are NOT GOOD my telescope is a COMPLEX MACHINE the moving parts KEEP MOVING and the sky? the entire sky? never stops moving either#standing in one place trying to focus on a single dot of light is entirely impossible#my knees hurt my back hurts im sure something bit me#i rubbed catnip all over myself to stop the mosquitos#the people mapping asteroids for fun are absolute maniacs#here track this relatively tiny non-luminous thing across the night sky we wont pay you either#my eyes are exhausted and a raccoon growled near me#my celestron has a SCOPE. uou would think it would be helpful. its not.#its cool tho. i dont know what magicery it uses but the laser pointer is always at the same point in the sky no matter where you look at it#unfortunately tho the on switch is a turn dial. the way to readjust it is also a turn dial. u see the problem here#so ur in the fuckin dark being eaten alive by bugs the counterweight mechanic is confusing at best and everything sucks#i love astronomy but the whole manual telescope thing aint for me#just give me datasets to analyze ill do that in search of extraterrestrial goldmines#me? and my eyes? no telescope on earth can accommodate for visual snow and astigmatism#god who thought it was a good idea to give the blind person a telescope as a gift#anyways. how does the mm system work for the lense pieces i feel like things got smaller on the 15mm than the 9mm
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