#for me honestly sometimes i get so discouraged because I don't feel as sexy or as appealing as so many of the gorgeous folks that I follow

[rubenesque-as-fuck]

Hi! I'm considering starting an onlyfans. I'm not scared of making content but I am scared of failing at it.

I have so many thoughts scrambling thru my head about it and whether I should or shouldn't.

Hey there! I don't see a question here, but I'll answer anyway. I'll start with a caveat that, if you're US-based at least, it seems possible that having an OnlyFans or engaging in any other sort of SW could turn out to be a much riskier venture in the near future if the current fascistic clownshow about to take office gets it's way. So do with that what you will.

As for worrying about failing, I guess that it all depends entirely on what you would consider success vs. failure in that sort of endeavor. I even don't know if I'm the best person to ask, since I'm probably not what you'd consider wildly successful at being a SWer from a business (or popularity) perspective. I have a very small group of lovely recurring subscribers, but on average still make less than $100/month from my OF. Still make enough to also have to pay taxes on it though! I also only promote on Tumblr, and since I tend to lean very silly/niche a lot of the time it's often difficult to get very many reblogs. So due to my lack of wide demographic appeal, I mostly just try to use it as a creative outlet for weird outfits, bad puns, and as a desperate effort to stay in touch with my own body. So like, if that's in line with your aims I say go for it. But if you're defining success as making a lot of cash, then I am not the right dude to ask.

[supernovadragoncat]

I wanted to ask you about this since I find you to be one of the more understanding people in this fandom... I'm not writer but I can't help but feel these pointed comments about dark fics (BTW: not talking about Littlefeather's posts; 100% think she's right and fully support her decision) can discourage and alienate writers and readers who do enjoy reading fucked up dynamics and themes. I don't want to enter a fandom that is already made out to be some 'freak fandom' by the larger ASOIAF fandom only to find people lowkey judging others for enjoying darker aspects of an admittedly fucked up canon ship, you get me? I feel like there's SOME policing going on and I just don't see the need to look down on people for enjoying these fics if they are properly tagged or make these little comments about how we somehow we don't truly get the dynamics. Sometimes I want to read about Sandor being a creepy stalker and sometimes I want to read about Sandor having a secret affair with his Queen lol. Why limit the pool? Am I being sensitive?

Hi Sweet Nonny!

First of all, you’re not being sensitive at all. There will always be a place for you and everyone in this fandom. I don’t mean that in a kumbaya way. I mean that in the sense that fandom and shipping should be a fun and enjoyable experience. It shouldn’t be mired in negative feelings. Not for you, not me, not for people who like drastically different things. No one.

Your preferences and triggers, the things that make you squeal with delight and the things that make you “nope” out immediately—they are all valid. Everyone deserves to feel included and safe to explore this ship however they like. That doesn’t mean, of course, we all align, but just that there’s a spirit of respect and understanding extended to others, whether or not they enjoy the same flavors of the ship.

I'll put the rest under the cut since I've apparently written you a novella, but I want to say that I value you in fandom, whoever you are, and thank you for coming to me with this ask! ❤️

The topic of dark content versus light content is one where I do honestly see both sides of the discussion. This is also a complicated discussion because it’s not just a matter of preferences, but very often there needs to be parallel discussions about triggering content as well as kink shaming. That’s where it can get unwieldy—trying balance these facets in a fair and reasoned way.

When discussions of fandom trends come up, it can create a sense that parts of fandom are being ostracized. I empathize with that feeling and I have felt it when these topics are raised. When you’re on the receiving end of “why is this trend/thing happening in fandom?”, it can feel like your preferences are being policed or that you’ve been voted off the island, so to speak.

In 2013/14, there was the great Sandor woobification debate where the fandom tendency to show the softer side of Sandor was hotly debated. After Game of Thrones brought in a lot of new fans in 2011 and 2012, there was the show!sansan vs. book!sansan debate. There were many debates about “how sexy is too sexy?” re: Sandor headcanons (there was bearded insta-thotty Sandor; then that time when several of us fell down a WWE rabbit hole). The rise of Modern AUs. The debates about dark fic and kinks.

All of these were discussions where people undoubtedly--myself included in more than a few--felt like they were not shipping “correctly.” Of course, that’s silly. It’s a ship. You can do whatever you want as long as you’re kind and you tag things properly, which most people are and do. And yet, the best of intentions can still go awry.

In these discussions, sometimes the topic becomes a monolith where, for example, something like Dark Fic™️ encompasses not just the content itself but the writers, readers, and artists who exist in that part of fandom. I think most of the time this isn’t intentional but is where the discussion can become hurtful. This is why Littlefeather’s post was so bang on—it tactfully decoupled the creator/consumers from the content itself, such that there were no value judgements being passed.

If I can offer a perspective from the flip side, imagine you’re scrolling the sansan tag on AO3 and you see an influx of sansan fics that are tooth-rotting fluff or domestic bliss sansan. If this isn’t your jam, it’s perhaps, at worst, annoying or eyeroll-inducing. However, imagine you’re scrolling the sansan AO3 tag and you see an influx of darker fics, especially fics that deal with a topic that is triggering to you. Even if you don’t click on the fic, it very well could still elicit a feeling that the ship isn't a safe space anymore or a general sense of unease.

My point here is that this topic is more complicated than just “don’t like, scroll on” or “dead dove, don’t eat.” Triggers are deeply personal and many times don’t manifest in ways that make sense or are predictable. This is why I personally espouse the mantra of “better to tag liberally than not enough, spoilers be damned” for dark fic.

“…Only to find people lowkey judging others for enjoying darker aspects of an admittedly fucked up canon ship, you get me?”

I get you completely and I think you’ve hit the nail on the head of what the divergences really boil down to.

First of all, no one—I don’t care how long they’ve shipped sansan—gets to lay claim to understanding the dynamic better than anyone else. Only GRRM gets to say that and, 10+ years from the last ASOIAF book, I’m not even sure he gets to say that anymore.

Everyone is drawn to this ship for their own reasons. For some, the darker aspects drew them in—a deeply traumatized man and a girl whose dreams were ground to dust. For others, the canon dynamics are fascinating from a psychological perspective. For some, it’s the BaTB dynamic. For others, it’s envisioning a happier, kinder future for two characters who’ve suffered so much.

There are many sansan shipers who are or were victims of abuse, domestic violence, and/or sexual assault and something about the ship is their way of working through the trauma. Someone once said that they were drawn to the ship because Sandor was the type of protector they wish they’d had when they were being abused. As the saying goes, you never know what battle someone is fighting or has just survived but is still healing from. Fandom may very well be their port in the storm.

However you ended up here, it’s valid. There isn’t a VIP entrance to this ship. We all get here how we get here, and it doesn’t really matter other than it’s cool that this ship means different things to different people. That should be cause for celebration, not division.

When there are people who come to this ship to escape dark things that’ve happened in their life or just to enjoy the love and romance, it’s probably hard to understand why some of us like and want to explore the darker, angstier side of the ship.

When you like and are attracted to the ship because of the complicated, fucked up aspects (I think we can all acknowledge the fucked-up parts of canon sansan), it can feel a bit disingenuous when others are baffled that this ship attracts people who appreciate the darker side.

Whichever side of the ship you like, you don’t need to explain yourself. You don’t need to justify to anyone why you enjoy what you enjoy. This is especially true of the darker side, which can be subjected to kink shaming. If you like creepy stalker Sandor, you never need to explain why you do and why that's valid. If you write creepy stalker Sandor fic, you don’t need to justify yourself to earn your place in fandom. If someone doesn’t like it, there are 4,000+ fics in the tag. I’m sure they’ll find something they like or they can write the fic they want to read.

Fandom dies without diversity. We need diversity of voices, interpretation of the ship, the identities and histories we all bring to the table, tropes, headcanons, themes. If we have one flavor, guess what? No one’s coming to the popsicle stand. It's amazing that the fandom keeps trucking on with the absolute breadcrumbs GRRM and GOT has given us. I credit that to fandom diversity and a willingness to accept new approaches to the ship.

Write shamelessly what you want to write (just tag it). Read shamelessly what you want to read. Draw shamelessly what you want to draw. Podcast shamelessly what you want to podcast. You get the idea...

If anyone intentionally makes you feel bad about it, block and carry on. I strongly believe in creating a bubble in fandom to exist in if you need to.

I hope this helped, nonny, and my ask box is open to you or anyone, anytime. Take care of yourself! Much love to you. ❤️

[icharchivist]

Yan for Danchou Belial? ... .//.

I think I am a degenerate because that thought seems fun to play with. Of course Danchou isn't his main interest, his 'true love' belongs to Cilius solely, but as a... 'fun' distraction? But he still prefers if the Singularity died (after all, killing Lyria kills Danchou as well), so less of the 'love' aspect of yandere and more of the violent aspect (and maybe a little of 'only I can do this to them')them.

Or maybe it's too much Tumblr again and I should poof, dunno 🤔

oh god. Nonny.

See this is the problem if you come and ask me about it because, while my heart of course only belongs to one person, i can assure you i totally indulged into the thought of "mhmmm Belial is totally having something for Danchou. Sexy."

But yes, basically, i feel like he could. totally see MC as a fun distraction. We know Belial is rather lonely, in his whole rant he went on about how mortals that can accept the primals will all die anyway, so there's nothing that really sticks for them, right? so in a way, even if he gets attached to MC, he knows there's a "date limit" to it. Maybe he can play around with it, maybe he can have fun while it lasts.

Honestly idk if you got into the Seraphic's missions but it's. Genuinely. WOW. Like it really got me in the crush right there.

Mostly he's interested in seeing MC getting corrupted, seeing how such a pure soul can move forward into something bad. the worst is that he tries to discourage MC from doing it and is really honest about how "if you go further down that path you will lose yourself" and when MC doesn't reply, he laughs because "but you're too far gone already, aren't you? That's reassuring. It means i don't have to worry about you turning back now." (here's the scene)

There's both a way where he seems to care that MC is losing themselves, while also being thrilled about the idea of seeing how MC would be once completely corrupted.

He def has a major curiosity for MC, maybe to kill time, and in way where he definitely is flirting. And personally i feel like the flirting is less the type he does to say, Rackam, where it's so disgustingly sexual you don't expect him to be geniune, there's truly something smooth and sly about it, like a snake slithering words into your ear to seduce you. It's sexy as fuck i hate this bastard so much.

Like genuinely i don't care he was trying to manipulate me this sentence live in my head rentfree:

Like. He's definitely playing around. He would be delighted if you died too considering how much you did against his beloved. And i think he loves Lucilius too much to even think someone else could come into the picture, or he convinced himself of that so much he wouldn't consider any other attachement he gets to be noteworthy.

But i do think he has.... a fascination with MC. That his slyness and manipulation isn't just out of pure destruction, but about some sort of delight about trying to charm MC. Perhaps having a little interest for them that could eventually develop into more yknow?

EDIT: and ALSO give it to Belial to ACTUALLY try to destroy everything he cared about. He acted like he was going to kill Sariel in order to remove the toxic power in him. Belial only focus on how he loves Lucilius that he activelly toy with the people he actually cares about, like Sariel, and hurt them, specifically to distance them from him so they don’t throw their lives away with him. Nothing says he’s not doing similar with MC.

Like think also about his Summon: considering the length he goes into to destroy Sandalphon if he's in your party, the fact otherwise he plays with MC when you summon him shows he doesn't consider MC fully in the "enemies i want dead" category like he does Sandalphon. Sometimes he wants to hurt you, sometimes he wants to charm you, sometimes he wants to help you. He has more interest in MC at least.

and. Truth be told, i do feel like it's cygames playing into some fanservice because Belial is their most popular chara, who's always overflooded with Valentine's chocolates during that season, who's everyone is begging to get playable, especially to flirt with him in vday... i think cygames didn't set it up at least in wmstb2 that way, that Belial was meant to only be devoted to Lucilius. but the possibility of having an interest to MC is especially this sort of fanservice of whoring him out to go "oh yeah if you want more of him he tooootally loves you in his won fucked up way. Buy our stuff."

a bit cynical, but therefore also something i genuinely think was supposed to be the reading of the Seraphic Quests: that Belial may have an interest into Danchou if you want to interpret it like that. Because cygames is generous toward self shipper and just give us enough food to create our own content.

And personally i do admit that when i'm in the mood to purely rotten toxic and disfunctional fantasy with a "i can fix him. Or he can make me worse. Both works" fantasy, those scenes come to my mind and i sigh lovingly.

..... so yeah i'm sorry i'm slightly down for Belial and it made this answer a little unhinged, my bad.