#for me I'd say... 6/10?
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cripplerage · 11 months ago
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If you have a real life person as your pfp, I don't care if it's Taylor Swift or something, my subconscious will assume you look like that irl. Sometimes my subconscious even assumes that I look like my pfp irl. And if your pfp is not a real life person... Tbh my subconscious still assumes you look like that irl.
You know what, tag yourself... How close in appearance do you think you are to your pfp? Interpret how you will
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the-insanity-of-mojiru · 4 months ago
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Another year's gone by, huh... I sure drew a lot.
I've been playing around with color a lot more this year.
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eccentriccryptid · 11 months ago
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#just need to bitch about my new job for a minute#first of all - so lucky and happy to have a job i will say that#been unemployed for two months and i need something to pay the bills#but...the fucking 'no one wants to work' of it all is such bullshit#so this new company starts you at $13/hr#not great but considering i live in rural america it's way worse around here#they're remote but their definition of remote is that you can only work from your house no where else#you get two days off per week but it's not two days back to back#if you're full time you get extra holiday pay but there are no holidays off#if you're part time fuck you you just have to work#full time employees get 10 vacation days and 6 sick days#part time you just get so many unpaid hours off#like...i'm working part time because i'm hoping to get actual work in my field#but you're telling me if i was full time i'd get /16 days/ of paid time off per year?#but also i'm not allowed to go anywhere else while i work??#like i have family just out of state that i could pop over and see on a long weekend or even a short one#but i don't even have two days back to back so i just can't go see them without taking time off#and like...probably i can just use a vpn and it won't be a big deal#and i'm hoping this is a super temporary thing and i can actually use my degree#but like /fucking hell/ of course no one wants to work in conditions like this!#i know it's work from home and there are some perks to that but not enough to make up for everything else#also not them telling me during my interview that after training you don't have to be on camera#but during out first day today being told we have to 'earn the privilege'#bitch please it's fucking chat support#i am just so tired of employers thinking that it's a privilege for us to work for them#it's a privilege for you to have me honestly#oh and also if you run out of days off you don't get unpaid time off#they just start giving you strikes#like our trainer is really nice and great but also she's trying to sell this 10 days off as some kind of amazing thing#in the us that's /fine/ if you also get the holidays off!
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hwanghyunjinenthusiast · 9 months ago
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I forgot to live blog the rest of my reactions lol. Shit came up but, I did finish listening the album.
If I were to do a ranking off of the first listen I'd say:
Chk Chk Boom (easily the biggest banger off the album. Great production. Everyone sounds good for the most part. Phenomenal energy and it's definitely going to be in my regular rotation. Excellent choice for the title track.)
I Like It (Feels very classic boyband to me. I wasn't sure how I felt about it when it first started but, I go on board very quickly. Definitely also going to be in regular rotation.)
Runners (another bop. Some of the lyrics are cringey but, I can get past it. I always love high energy SKZ so, a no brainer)
JJAM (I'm going to be real, these might some of Stray Kids's cringiest lyrics lol. Outside of the chorus, it's a really solid and fun song though.)
Mountains (I put it under JJAM because JJAM had higher highs to me and at least took risks. I do like Mountains but, I do think it's not that exciting of a song.)
Stray Kids (very sweet and hearing them do the Stray Kids ablib made me emotional but, overall, it's not that interesting of a song.)
twilight (a beautiful song but, I'm not a big ballad person so, it unfortunately ended up last.)
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reinemichele · 1 year ago
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My mom got home and immediately handed me an ipod classic and said "[Patient] told me her ipod won't hold a charge anymore, so I told her you might be able to fix it, or at least show her how to rip the music library onto her computer"
and I said . "I've told you to stop telling people I can help them with technology ."
And then I noticed the ipod actually still had a full battery (but I'm sure, like my barely functioning ipod classic, within a few seconds-minutes the battery would die), so I glanced through the menus, mostly because I still feel very nostalgic for using ipods & find the tactile buttons/audible clicking/whirring to be a lot more appealing than keeping music on a purely touchscreen torture nexus, but I was also curious about how recent the music this patient listens to is
So I said . "Oh hey, she has Rick Astley on here!"
And after a few minutes she goes . "I have that fucking Rick Astley song stuck in my fucking head." and I laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed
#erin talks#text#footnotes:#1) I do actually keep music on my phone; there's 8848 songs on it & my phone regularly informs me we have less than 10% storage left#& I say <3 eat my entire ass [company] . I've been using spotify in recent yrs so I can use my music apps for audiostories#2) I know you can replace ipod batteries but it requires shit like soldering wires & I don't feel comfortable trying that#& I think I'd have to drive at least 2 hours to find someone I could pay to do it for me . which would still run the risk of destroying#the components that aren't being mass-produced anymore & are difficult to find#3) I unironically like never gonna give you up & used to listen to it for fun when I was really little . same with careless whisper#4) I wasn't Trying to get the song stuck in her head or annoy her when I said it but it was a fun side effect <3#5) I tend to really like songs she hates from her days of working retail & songs being overplayed#my favorite mj songs are the ones that are like . the equivalent of if I had a kid & they loved new rules by dua lipa#I genuinely like them tho it's not me trying to torture her 😭#6) I know everyone born in the 80's onward has the whole 'parent tells ppl they can help with technology thing'#but this specifically is bc when I was like 12 my laptop kicked the bucket & I had to find a way to save 4000+ songs from my ipod#I was very proud that I figured out a solution & didn't have to redownload all that music but like truly all you have to do is google#to see if a program that can do what you want . plz don't tell ppl I can figure anything out let them think I'm a dumb vapid zillenial 😭
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strxngersmind · 1 month ago
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i will simply. Never. depend on anyone again after all this actually.
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mono-blogs-art · 2 months ago
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finished affair :) it was pretty good overall. crazy chemistry going on there. but overall INSANE plot decisions. and definitely the worst finale of any gl i've seen thus far even though it had a happy ending... but oh brother that was rough.
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nathaniacolver · 3 months ago
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(BEWARE: LONG ASS POST AHEAD. LITERALLY 3500 WORDS. IT TOOK ME TEN WHOLE MINUTES TO READ OVER AGAIN, AND I WROTE THE DANG THING. AND BEWARE THE GIFS IF YOU'RE ON MOBILE. SORRY)
ok here's the cornplating essay of all my thoughts:
1
CHARACTER & DIALOGUE ANALYSES (aka, vi v. silco):
we know that this is vi's childhood home. how betrayed vi must've felt to see that huck literally led silco, vi's NUMBER ONE OPP, to the only place she felt comfortable being, were she to have died from sevika's stab. it's no wonder she calls him a "filthy traitor" when she sees him in s2 -- yes, he helped cait get the potion to heal vi, but he also did so just to sell them right into silco's hands.
silco dangling the shimmer above the homeless, and laughing at their desperation -- THIS is what silco wanted to make of zaun!! at this point, he wants zaun's independence so that people like caitlyn will stay out of his business as he exploits pretty much anyone he can get his hands on, and he does so by targeting the vulnerables -- homeless here, kids in his shimmer factory. idk how to tell y'all this, but silco represents all of the billionaires that we hate in IRL society -- yes, he may love jinx, and may be an appropriate father figure to her. doesn't mean he's not #1 opp for the entirety of zaun.
"vander's prodigy" -- his FIRST WORDS. do you notice how silco is taking out his years-long grudge with vander against a GIRL? one who just got out of prison for 7 years, having been wrongfully thrown in? he's grown to hate vander, he hates vi because of her association to him and bc she protected him in the cannery, and NOW he hates vi bc she is the only person capable of unlocking powder from out of jinx. that's why he freaks out so badly when he hears she's back ("from the dead?!?!!" (s1e4)). he knows that jinx could lose her loyalty to him, if she realizes that her sister never intended to leave her in the first place.
(i'll never not believe that silco was a narcissistic parent to jinx -- he loved her, but in a very fucked-up way. he purposefully tried to separate jinx from vi. JINX FROM VI, BASICALLY HER MOTHER FIGURE FOR HER CHILDHOOD. all bc he holds a grudge against vander. he cherishes jinx's loyalty to his "cause" (exploiting the undercity for his and his friends' personal gain) more so than he does being her father.)
"what have you done with my sister?" "i freed her...she's more than i ever imagined" -- like i said, silco's a big, fat narcissist. parents "imagining" lives or jobs or roles for their children is a pretty narcissistic thing to do. truly loving parents would support their children in whatever they choose. only narcissists try to pigeonhole their own children this hard into roles they never wanted (jinx specifically rejects the "zaun's hero" role in s2). IN CONTRAST -- vi never imagined anything for jinx's life except that she'd have a better one ("i want powder to have more than that and i'm willing to fight for it" (s1e2))
(PARALLEL SCENE TO ABOVE -- jinx approaches silco after having stolen the gemstone, and hugs him -- silco's gaze shifts from jinx to the gemstone, and then back to jinx. he's also trying to figure out which he cares for more. this is where the "is there anything so undoing as a daughter?' line comes from -- he's trying to figure out what to do. and pls correct me if i'm wrong, but i don't think we ever get a definitive answer on this? he negotiates a free zaun with jayce, and then jinx kidnaps him, etc. ...)
"i'm gonna find her, and erase whatever fucked up delusions you put in her head, but first? i'm gonna bring your bullshit empire down all around you." -- BUCKLE UP. this is the line from these scene: 1) vi specifically states that her first priority is to destroy silco's empire. she's known that he is evil and exploitative and cares little for the people of zaun, except as possible puppets or workers. in fact, she's known this for seven years, and apparently so does the rest of zaun. ("he worked for silco?" "uh, they all do, how does anyone not know this?" from caitvi stillwater scene). she's been worrying after her sister for seven years, and even still, she understands that silco IS the kingpin, the hingepoint, the KEY to all the shit that happens in zaun. if vi had it her way, she would've killed silco first before reuniting with her sister (this might've messed up jinx more, but vi hasn't seen jinx & silco's relationship yet, so she dk), but the flare switches her plan, and she MAKES GOOD ON THE PROMISE SHE MADE YEARS AGO. 2) vi knows silco's character, and that's why despite not having seen the man for seven years, she knows that he's groomed jinx into sharing his own opinions and forcing her into his cause. the cannery ensures that vi knows silco likely better than most of the undercity does, and that's exactly why she loathes, abhors, hates him so much. 3) i will never understand the people (including vi defenders) that say "vi never cared about zaun". HELLO?????? she DOES. tell me ab these quotes from vi -- "why? they've [piltover's] got plenty while we're down here scraping together coins. when did you get so comfortable living in someone else's shadow?" (s1e1) // "why answer to them? these are our streets, someone should remind them of that!(s1e1) // "they won't stop! we need to fight back. and if you won't, i will" ... "what i don't understand is how you [vander] can work with them!! [enforcers]" (s1e2) // "what? you wanna negotiate with him? this is insane, did you learn NOTHING? you can't talk to him. he hates you, everything you stand for. he will never back down." (s1e8) // "you [jayce] wanna make silco pay for what he's done?" ... "silco controls the undercity with shimmer. shut down his supply, and it's only a matter of time before his own people turn on him." (s1e8) // "you've always been a part of this. you just never had to look it in the eye. one dead kid? there's hundreds more where he came from, thanks to silco and thanks to people like you, who stuck their heads in the dirt." (jayce: "this is over.") vi: "not for me." (s1e9). tell me -- why does she beat up the jaw guy in prison? bc he works for silco, her #1 opp and part of the reason zaun is suffering so badly. tell me -- why does she accompany caitlyn to the council hearing? bc she's hoping that they will listen to a zaunite's perspective and will actually do something about it. tell me -- why does she find jayce to go destroy the shimmer factory? bc she understands that that's the way to take silco's empire down. 4) this is why no one should be surprised that vi joins cait's strike team in s2 - vi would love nothing more than to destroy anything & everything related to silco's empire. what was cait's plan? jinx, shimmer, agents loyal to silco. the jinx part hurts, yes, and her wearing the enforcer badge is a little iffy, but if it helps her to eliminate shimmer and silco's goons? the things that she witnessed ruining the undercity when she was 15? sign vi right up. if that's what the badge stands for now, she'll wear it (i guess?). (also, reminder that vi's champion title in league is literally "vi: the piltover enforcer"). 5) in summary, vi is just as much a firelight as ekko is bc she has ALWAYS fought to protect people from shimmer and silco. (who do you think ekko learned his sense of justice from ????!?!?!?!?!!?)
"you don't know your limits, girl. it's what got vander killed, it's what drove your sister away, and it's why i'm here right now." -- silco acknowledges vi's power. that's why she's his #1 opp - because she's one of the only people that can truly stop him (by stopping jinx from helping him, but also by beating his goons and then HIM up). silco, ever the lying manipulator, tries to pin all the blame, all of vi's guilt and shame on her power, in an effort to suppress it. he knows if she can't separate her power from her guilt, that she won't want to engage with it at all. luckily, vi doesn't give him any credence, bc like i said earlier, she knows silco's character. "yeah well -- you talk to much." QUEEN SHIT
2
FILMOGRAPHY ANALYSES:
zaun's "savior" - this could be a reach, but seeing as this show has a LARGE number of other christian allegories (jinx's baptism; viktor in season 2), i think vi's first view of silco after years being posed like THIS is a reference. silco hands shimmer to the vulnerables as if he is providing them salvation. his dialogue confirms this - "i freed her", right as he releases the shimmer into their hands - he would think himself jinx's savior (again, narcissism).
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vi and silco are intentionally framed as being at odds. a couple examples:
they're obviously framed as enemies here, but it's one versus 5, or 6, or more. vi is strong on her own (cait is behind her, but not in frame); silco is only strong in how many people he can manipulate to serve him (sevika & jinx both acknowledge this in s2e2 - sevika: "i can't believe you're [silco] dead, and i'm still mopping up your messes". // jinx: "big baby couldn't do it himself." sevika: "couldn't do much himself. about now he'd have me all over the lanes, running his collections" jinx: "building his weapons" "making his deals" "exploding his enemies")
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vi approaches him (again, knowing her power) and later, silco lets the shimmered, new goons approach her (his inherent weakness). the camera is angled to let us see how puny silco is when compared to vi's fist, and she clenches "him" in her grip
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wide shot, with vi and silco at either end, silco left, vi right. vi's in the light - good, illumination. silco & his goons are in the dark - evil, concealment. the border btwn light & dark falls perfectly down the middle. dare i say - vi and silco are also foils? and guess what that shot transitions directly to? jinx, the subject of the dialogue, the subject of both of their affections, the girl who is literally on the fence/border/edge of choosing between these two. notice how symmetric jinx's shot is? she's not sure which half of her being is correct, true, honest.
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jinx walks up to the edge, takes a look left at the gemstone (silco's side, his plan/cause), and right at the flare (vi's side, as her protector, with zaun behind it) that she was given YEARS ago. clearly, she always held on to some smidgen of hope that vi was still out there. AND WE ALL KNOW WHAT SHE CHOOSES -- that's why this scene is so powerful, because we see the two people jinx loves most in the world being at odds in every possible way, and whom does she choose? her sister. to roaring, swelling, beautiful music and filmography
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jinx is also right at the edge, at a physical precipice, representing the metaphorical precipice. she seems to live dangerously like this (her airship base having no protections whatsoever). we see both jayce and viktor in similar positions, after they think their lives are over, and that they've lost all agency. the twist is -- this is one of jinx's ultimate acts of agency. silco, or vi? and she chooses vi. her power in this choice is shown by her physical height, in this world (which plays into the extreme zoom out later) -- she is at the utmost power/has utmost agency in this moment, to show who she loves more, and who she seeks.
match cuts from caitlyn looking up -> jinx looking down -> caitlyn looking back up -- match cuts between these two are WAY more common throughout the show than you might think. showing them both as foils -- caitlyn tries to target the systematic/institutionalized issues by hitting at their core/root (why she's willing to go down into the depths of the undercity in the first place), and jinx tries to escape them by ascending above, by distancing herself (vi wouldn't have either of them any other way, btw)
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shimmer barefoot shot -- STAY WITH ME -- some would say that this emphasizes the "brutish"-ness of these new shimmer-transformed mutants (? idk right word), but i'm simply reminded of hitchcock's Psycho (1960), and how we only know that slashes actually landed because of the way we see the blood fall around the woman's feet. bare feet are a sign of vulnerability, again reinforcing the fact that silco targets the most vulnerable in his community to do his bidding
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vi turns around (which gets a double shot, one of them an extreme close-up, if you look closely), turns away from silco's lying words and does what she knows best: punches, at the base of the rebar -- it pings upwards, and topples the whole building. this is exactly her power - she finds the hingepoint (silco), and strikes at it directly, literally "bring[ing] [silco's] bullshit empire down all around [him]". SHE MAKES GOOD ON HER PROMISES.
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for the first time, silco is forced to look upwards, at the metaphorical empire he's built, and how easily it can be toppled by one singular girl.
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the blank, black screen - they knew they had an emmy-winning scene. the blankness (except for music chords) is like a visual palate cleanser - it primes us to pay full attention to whatever happens next. the silence does the same - our ears are also tuned in, perked up, etc., just to see what audio cues they drop on us.
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the framing of jinx's three shots right before the climax -- they look like they were animated, and then deliberately flipped upside down, which i love. jinx is about to have her entire paradigm of life, her entire worldview shifted, based on how this effort goes. she's choosing vi, and that's about to flip her entire world upside-down, bc for the last seven years, all she's been told about is how her sister left her. the gemstone is now no longer visible, despite having been in her hand just moments earlier. extreme close-up as jinx replays vi's words, showing that she's making her decision.
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immediate flip to right-side-up medium shot --> BEAUTIFUL, expertly done zoom out to ULTRA WIDE establishing shot, to all of zaun, with jinx at the center. this is no longer a family matter - what happens in the next act will affect all of zaun. she is the key, she's the true hingepoint of zaun (which we see play out in s2). jinx's blue hair, and then flare, are the only real bits of color, aka of life.
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match cut of vi & silco in same position, facing opposite directions (silco left, vi right, again) -- still opps. also, vi has people she can actually rely on (cait helping her up), while silco is virtually alone, without his status as zaun's druglord dictator.
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orbital shot around jinx (2 clips stitched together) - another film way of saying that everything in the rest of her life (AND the rest of the plot!!!) LITERALLY revolves around her. this is a life-changing decision. ghosts of mylo and claggor remind her of the life she once knew (as do the film scratches/bits of her psychosis), which she is actively calling back by lighting the flare.
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shaky cam going in & out of focus, showing the wildness of silco's blind rage (3 clips together) -- again, this is his true character. he slaps his henchman (like all villains don't hesitate to do), kicks a homeless guy to death. he's mad bc vi has outsmarted him, escaping his attempts to remove her permanently
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the purple sign flickering (silco's empire is crumbling around him) cuts to the spotlights that the enforcers have set up on the bridge -- all is about to be illuminated to piltover (silco's villainy, marcus'/enforcer corruption)
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cait & vi like bullets, then shooting out of whatever tunnel thing they were in - they are the sniper's shots that could take out silco & his empire. however, they don't know that marcus is waiting exactly to take them out.
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overhead, wide-angle shot of silco standing in the midst of the "eye" of the sign -- again, all is about to come into sight, to be illuminated (one of the brightest shots of this whole sequence, may i add? my laptop is BLARING at me alskdfjsalkfja)
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the walls of silco's empire may have crumbled, but marcus is erecting new ones, right at the border into piltover. silco's empire has spread far enough that one loss does not ensure defeat (but, cait & vi don't know that yet)
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3
MUSIC/LYRICS:
i clipped the original video based off of when "guns for hire", the song, started and stopped playing. this scene is literally cut to the music.
chris cornell has a pretty good youtube vid where he breaks down the chords of this song, as well as a few others.
i'll give my rudimentary musician's analysis:
despite us basically hearing the instrumental to the chorus from the very beginning of this scene (without the full drama of the strings), we never resolve to the major key until the climax, when jinx pulls the flare. our brains are smart - intuitively, we all know (we've heard in numerous other songs) that a minor key has an equal relative major, yet, up until the climax, the backing music tricks us into thinking we'll just stay in the minor key the entire time. the reason the song is so eargasm-y & chill-inducing is bc we finally go there - we resolve this minor verse and pre-chorus into a decidedly major chorus climax. they visually and sonically give us so much space (and of course, a classic violin, high-strung high note to add tension) right before hitting the climax -- again, prepping us for some massive release, which they FLAWLESSLY deliver on, with such a visually and aurally FULL climax.
(in the actual song, there's a bass pedal tone and then the violin to deliver the tension, the expectation of release)
additionally, right as vi punches the tower, we hear the music sort of bend downwards a half-step - something that also tricks our brains into expecting the resolution back up the half-step, to the key we started in. it gives off an eerie feel.
right at the climax, the violins are in an ascending line, one that peaks at "world's", in the lyrics. the bass is simultaneously dropping, and staying low. the simultaneity of those two creates the "swelling" adjective so often used to describe music. the beginning of the climax is still slow enough (fastest moving notes are the eighth notes in the cello, which provide us with a sense of motion)
second run-around of the chorus is in has another set of violins going in double-time (arpeggiated sixteenth notes). it matches the beginning of silco's tantrum, builds tension as we begin to wonder if vi will even see the slare.
then it drops as the chorus ends, and we're back to the "bare bones tracks" of the piano instrumental, and a high violin tone, and twangy bass (? idk). repeating measures in music often signal either a build-up or a resolution, and seeing as we've already hit the clear climax, this must be the resolution! and it is :)
i swear not enough people care enough to look up the lyrics to this climactic, cathartic, release of a song. literal eargasm EVERY time, regardless.
"kiss your perfect day goodbye" - jinx flare scene - jinx is decidedly choosing to disrupt the status quo, which, honestly, had been working out for her pretty well. silco rage scene - he's lost his chance at eliminating vi, his #1 opp.
"because the world's on fire" - vi and silco at odds, still. enforcers at bridge scene - everything's fucked up - enforcers are working under a corrupt sheriff, silco's empire threatened, and vi & caitlyn now have to warn piltover as quickly as possible.
"tuck your innocence goodnight" - jinx orbital w/ mylo & clag ghosts - she lost her innocence the night she accidnetally blew up the cannery, but she's willing to revisit it now, in hopes of vi showing up.
"you sold your friends like guns for hire" - obviously this can bc about huck selling caitvi out for shimmer, but it's also about silco! he doesn't really have any friends - he only has mercenaries, "guns for hire". he lost his friends the moment he chose to let his rage and grudge fester instead of figuring out how to forgive vander. also! "right as your marionettes cut their strings and run away" is a lyric later in this song that goes right along with the idea that this line pertains to silco.
"go play with your blocks" - referring to childlike innocence (vi & jinx lost long ago), or false illusions of grandeur (silco's dreams of his zaunite empire).
"and now you'll pay when these walls come tumbling down" - again, everything will be illuminated, and that'll hurt literally everyone involved. the corruption was sealed long ago.
keep in mind! this is all a culmination of editors, storyboard artists, animators, musicians, and writers, who clearly must've communicated over and over again on exactly how they wanted this scene to go down, on what tone they wanted it to have. and it delivered, in every possible way. beautiful in every single regard.
~~~
i should just make a youtube video using this as the script, shouldn't i. 😪😪😪
full guns for hire scene
bc i feel like people only ever talk about the climax! the climax is GOOD because of all of the musical, tonal, and character buildup*
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inbabylontheywept · 4 days ago
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we need to get you on Man Vs. Food. (The show)
Massive piles of food have nothing on the one who can eat massive piles of raw ingredients
Back when I was in scouts, our group participated in a mini-triathalon every year. I think it was a half mile swim, then 10 miles on bike, then 5 miles running. So waaaaaaay less intense than a normal triathlon, but still a pretty brutal experience. If I tried to do that today, I would have an extremely bad time.
Traditionally, the night before the triathlon we'd all go to a Golden Corral in the city and eat a few steaks before hand. For funsies. But we arrived late at night that year, and the Golden Corral was closed, so we tried to find a 24 hour buffet, and the only one we could fine was for Chinese food. It had a name like "Jiangs All You Can Eat Spicy Chinese Food."
We went. It was some of the most incredible Chinese food I've ever eaten. I'd only ever had Panda express Americanized Chinese food before, and this was, like, genuine Sichuan stuff in apocalyptic quantities.
So we ate, and we ate, and we ate, and we ate, right until our our entire faces went numb from the spicy, and then at the end, just to polish things off, me and another scout that we'll call Scrapper went and got a plate full of crab rangoons. I think we could fit 5 of them on the plate, by placing them kind of like the dots on a dice.
We were talking on the walk back, when Scrapper said you know, it would be kind of a bad idea to have a full on crab rangoon eating contest like, 4 hours before the race.
(At that point, it was midnight, and the race was at 4 am.)
And I said: Yeah.
Then we walked a little further. And he said: You wanna do it anyway?
My fatal flaw is that I have never met a bad idea I didn't like. Of course I went in. I wouldn't be me if I didn't. I'd say before the contest even started, he ate around 8 plates, and I ate around 6, but when it came to the Crab Rangoon battle, I downed 6 plates (approximatel 30), and he gave up after 5 (approximately 25). So he won on total plateage, but I won on pure rangoon volume. Total amount of rangoons eaten was like, 55 rangoons. Two more and I think I would've been a viable candidate for narcan.
We joked that we'd added a fourth event to the Triathalon: The Crab Rangoon-a-thon.
We later (approximately 4 hours and 15 minutes later) learned that we'd actually added two events to the triathalon. The Crab Rangoon-a-thon, and the who-can-poop-the-fastest chase. There were porta potties set up between every event change, so as soon as we finished, me and Scrapper would bolt to the potties, and if there were sounds of Great Suffering happening in one stall, we'd occupy the one next to it to that one and assume it held the other person. Then we could try and match pace. If we arrived and it was silent, we'd assume that we beat the other out prepare for single combat, knowing we only had a minute or two to set up camp before Terrible Noises would begin next to us.
There were more than two porta-potties between stations, but I think everyone else kind of avoided using them because we sounded so insane. We'd make noises of Godly Anguish, then, you know. Fart. Then we'd laugh. Then we'd scream like wounded animals again as the next convolusion hit us. I've never had poops like that before or since. They folded me in half like a frightened lobster. I'd feel a surge, and then I'd feel this terrible pressure againt my chest, and it would take me thirty seconds to realize it was my own knees. I pooped so hard I pulled my back. I feel lucky to be alive.
Scrapper did wind up beating me by like. 20 seconds though. He skipped the bathroom for the last run and just kind of pain-waddled those five miles, and I just couldn't catch up. It was 13 years ago and I am still devastated. He did soil himself though, right after the race. So. At least I made him pay dearly for the win.
Anyway, yeah, I bet could dominate in a show like that. Sign me up.
461 notes · View notes
moonstruckme · 9 months ago
Note
OMGGGGGGG
the first kiss was so cute!!! perfect!! james was so sweet and gentle w her😍😭😭
can’t wait to see there dynamic from now on
Thank you gorgeous! I held onto this so I'd have something to post this last part to, hope you don't mind <3
part 1 | part 2 | part 3 │ part 4 │part 5 │ part 6 │ part 7 │ part 8 │ part 9 │ part 10 │ part 11 │ part 12 │ part 13
roommate!James x fem!reader ♡ 1.5k words
James is buzzing while he makes breakfast the next morning. Golden morning light pours in through the front windows, brightening the kitchen and warming his back where he stands in front of the stove, the buttery smell of pancake batter wafting up from the pan. He’d gone to bed later than usual last night and slept hard but woke jittery, desperate to do something about the commotion in his chest. 
A run hadn’t done it, nor had replaying the previous night in his head, and now he’s convinced he won’t be able to rest until he can kiss you again. It’s your fault, really. Your little sighs, your careful touches, the way you’d tugged at the roots of his hair when he asked you to, like all this time you’d only been waiting for permission. You’ve fucked him. James will never be able to get over it. Now, all he can think about is getting more. 
He’s made more pancakes than a family of five could eat when he hears the stair creak. 
“Good morning,” he says, turning around just as you pad into the kitchen, quiet as a ghost. 
Your eyes are bleary, but they still manage to widen slightly as you take him in, along with the precarious tower of pancakes beside him. You’re in that sweatshirt he loves so much, sleeves hanging limply from your hands and hem hitting just above your knees. 
“Morning,” you say, softer than soft. 
“How’d you sleep, lovely?” 
You shrug, not quite looking at him. “Fine. You?” 
James grins. “Beautifully. You want some pancakes?” 
Your gaze goes again to the stack beside him, and he can practically see the quip brewing in your eyes. Doesn’t seem like I have much of a choice. Are you planning to feed an army?
“Sure,” you say in that same quiet voice. “Thanks.” 
James studies you, intrigued. “Great. C’mere, sweetheart.” 
He plates up a few pancakes, keeping one eye on you as he does. You seem disinclined to look even in his general direction, finding distractions with the stove, your plate, the weather outside. 
“How’s this?” He turns around with the plate. You take it cautiously, by the complete opposite end to avoid any possibility of making contact with his hand. James’ heart warms at the way your fingers just peek out from the sleeve of your sweatshirt to grasp the plate. He wants to kiss you until you don’t know what day it is. “Too many? Not enough?” 
“This is good.” 
“Yeah?” He doesn’t let go of the plate. He tilts his head, trying to catch your eye, but you evade him. He has a hunch that if he were to touch your face (and god, does he want to) he’d find it burning hot. “Are you alright?” 
Your eyes flit up to his for a half a second before fleeing again. You hum, the sound tense and pitchy. “Mhm.” 
“You sure?” he asks, matching your soft tone. “Don’t go getting shy on me now.” 
You look like you stop breathing. 
And ordinarily James might feel bad, but post-kiss James cannot be prevailed upon to treat you as cautiously as he ordinarily might. Unfortunately for you, your secret’s out. You’re lovely, you’d said, voice soft and breathy and mere inches from his own mouth, I like having you around. I do. I really like you. Also unfortunately for you, post-kiss James knows things. 
He slips his palm alongside your face, working his hand behind your ear and letting his fingers burrow into the hair behind it. You melt, leaning into the touch. Your eyes meet his. 
It’s grueling work to keep from smiling. “What’s wrong, angel?” 
“Nothing’s wrong,” you say, still quietly but now with more of yourself in your voice. 
“Really? Because you’re acting like we’ve just met.” 
“Don’t you—don’t things feel different to you?” You seem almost distressed, eyebrows hooking upwards just slightly, pretty eyes imploring. Your voice softens again, now more with intimacy than reticence. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to talk with you about.” 
James lets his smile loose, thumbing at the skin behind your ear before letting you go. “We can talk about anything you want,” he says simply, grabbing his own plate and leading you into the living room. 
You’ve got a perfectly good kitchen table but almost never use it, each preferring to eat your meals on the couch. He flops down, careful not to tip his pancakes onto the cushion as he crosses his legs underneath him like you’re at a sleepover. 
“So, have any fun dreams last night?”  
You smile. It’s as heart-stoppingly lovely as always, and James thinks his own probably doubles in magnitude in response. 
“A couple,” you admit. 
“Oh? What about?” 
Your smile goes sheepish, bottom lip slipping in between your teeth as if to impede its progress. You fork clinks against the plate as you start cutting up your pancake. 
James’ brain short-circuits. 
“You were in my dream,” he blurts. 
Your eyes flit up to his warily. “Yeah?” 
“Yeah. It was one of those weird, super vivid dreams where nothing really happens, you know?” You seem to relax a bit. James douses his pancakes in syrup, starting to cut them up as he talks. “We were here, and someone had spilled something on the rug—probably Sirius, to be honest—and it made this huge stain. I’d tried to pour baking soda on it, but the whole box had collapsed and it got everywhere. We were both sitting right there scrubbing with literal toothbrushes, and I think I was worried you’d be upset with me but you were just laughing.” His heart warms at the pseudo-memory, the hazy feeling of contentment that had permeated the dream. The sound of your laugh, exactly as sweet as in real life. “Your hands were totally covered in baking soda, and the rug was ruined, but we were both laughing our heads off.” 
You’re smiling again, a small, knowing thing. “Had you said something to make us laugh?” 
“No,” he says honestly, “I think it was you.” 
James is aware that he’s barely functioning. It’s almost too much to talk and cut his pancakes at the same time while you’re looking at him like that, like he’s the loveliest thing you’ve ever seen. It makes it both a relief and a disappointment when you drop your gaze. 
“Do you think the stain might’ve been a premonition?” you ask. 
He raises his eyebrows. “How do you mean?” 
You laugh, and he’s instantly spellbound, caught somewhere between fantasy and reality. It takes him a second to realize you’re touching the edge of his plate, tipping it up. James looks down. It had been nearly falling off his lap, his pancakes cut up into tiny pieces and syrup pooled near the rim. 
You look up at him, seraphim with the morning light brightening your features and the hint of a smile playing on your lips. He thinks of how soft they’d felt on his the night before, the way they’d fallen open like welcoming him home. 
“You were almost spilling syrup onto the rug,” you say, that rare and beloved teasing lilt to your voice. “It would’ve taken more than baking soda to get that out.” 
“See?” he asks. “You know how to talk to me just fine.” 
You look surprised, then self-conscious, though not nearly as bad as when you’d come into the kitchen a few minutes ago. He covers your hand with his to keep you from going anywhere. Sets his plate on the coffee table. 
“Can I kiss you?” 
Your eyes are wide. “Again?” 
“Yes, again,” James laughs. “And again after that, preferably. Only if it’s okay with you.” 
You shake your head, looking something akin to bewildered. “Yeah. Yeah, please.” 
He starts to lean toward you, and you meet him halfway. Already, it’s a bit different. There’s no tentative stillness, no slow yielding. Your lips are pliant and eager, parting and closing around his like you’re trying to get as much of him as you can. Your fingers wind in his hair without instruction, and James responds by placing his hand in that spot you’d seemed to like it so well last night, the material of your sweatshirt soft beneath his touch. You taste like his pancakes, the syrup sweet on your tongue. 
“Keep talking to me,” he murmurs, kissing the corner of your lips worshipfully, “okay?” 
Your voice is breathless. “Why?” 
“Because I like you.” He tugs at you, wanting you closer. “And I think I’ve put in the work for you to warm up to me, if it’s all the same to you.” 
You make a tiny, amused sound. “Fine,” you say. You grow bolder, kissing your way up his cheek, the top of his eyebrow, until your nose is nestled in his hair and your lips are caressing his forehead. “Consider me warmed.” 
James grins, unable to help himself. He thinks that becoming your friend didn’t go quite as he planned, but he feels as though he won in the end.
2K notes · View notes
akawifeyy · 2 months ago
Text
silly girl | smau (LN4)
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description: the life of a comedian is full of laughter, but the biggest punchline? your experience with love.
tropes: chaos galore, he's obsessed with her, sunshine x sunshine, age gap (23 and 25), comedian!fem!reader
face claim: faith collins
trigger warnings: suggestive content, some mature jokes, swearing
| note: hehehe i love this fic 🫶
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@ yourusername: dallas was incredible, i had the best time laughing with you all! a recorded video of tonight's show is posted at the link in my bio if you couldn't make it. see you next weekend in austin 😘
tagged: @ standupcomedy
comments (2567):
@ user1: Amazing shows! I went to Night 2 and I couldn't breathe, I was laughing so hard. Wish I bought tickets for the other two nights.
-> @ user2: sooo real, i got to see her in miami and i felt like my heart was going to explode from laughing
@ user3: Incredible job, so proud 💖
@ user4: Mother has fed us during this tour, I never want it to end
@ yourbffusername: SCREAMING CRYING, I love you SO much Y/N
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@ f1: Just 3 more days until COTA! How are you gearing up for the Grand Prix?
tagged: @ mclaren, @ mercedes, @ redbullracing, & 6 more
comments (49584):
@ landonorris: Can't wait to be a cowboy again 🤠
@ user5: COTAAAA MY BELOVED
@ user6: so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@ user7: No because I'm actually a second away from crashing out because I just realized @ yourusername's show is at the same time as the Austin GP
-> @ user8: wait nonono you're joking 😭 i bought tickets too
10/19/25 at Y/N's Show (Transcript):
Y/N L/N: I feel like if I don't bring this up, the masses are going to come at me with pitchforks. (clearing throat) Today's a pretty big day in Austin. Um, Formula One is having its COTA Grand Prix.
Audience members: (whooping)
Y/N L/N: Yeah, looks like we have quite a few F1 fans in here. I'd kind of consider myself one, but please don't ask me what DRS stands for off the top of my head or what Ferrari's strategies are during races, because I wouldn't be able to tell you. But anyways, I found out that I scheduled this show at the same time as the GP.
Audience member: (loud yelling noise)
Y/N L/N: (breaks down laughing) Yep, I know. I'm sorry. I didn't realize. But I totally get it. Seeing a bunch of rich, hot men drive around in circles? Like, aw man, where did my pants go? I swear they were just on. (continues giggling) Seriously, though, some of those drivers? It should be illegal how attractive they are. Charles Leclerc, Lando Norris. Oh God, don't even get me started on Lando Norris.
Y/N L/N: (eyes widen dramatically) I never liked brunettes or Englishmen, but he might just make me change my mind.
Interview with Lando Norris (2025):
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Interviewer: Have you seen the clips from Y/N L/N's most recent comedy show here in Austin?
Lando Norris: (laughs) Yes, I heard about it!
Interviewer: Thoughts?
Lando Norris: She's very funny. I like her sense of humor. But as for relationships, I have to focus on my racing, so I can't get distracted. Sorry!
10/20/25 at Y/N's Show (Transcript):
Y/N L/N: So... Yesterday's show. (makes popping sound with lips) Some of y'all, I feel like I need to ban you – and before you boo, let me explain why. I made jokes about Formula One drivers, and how hot they are, and a select few of you decided to out me? (mock gasp)
Y/N L/N: Yeah, I know! Fucking Lando Norris was interviewed about me! Isn't that insane? This ultra-rich motor sport driver was asked about some redhead girl who yaps for a living. And he called me funny? I need to put this on my resume.
Audience member: You two need to date!
Y/N L/N: The matchmaking is insane. Oh God, wait until my mother hears about this, then I'm actually cooked. I'm 23 years old, I have a lot of biological time left, but you're vultures! When is it going to end? And don't say, "When you get married to Lando Norris", because it's not happening. Sadly.
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@ ynupdates: Contrary to popular belief, Y/N did have a boyfriend! This was way back in 2019 to 2022. His name is Emmett Ellgren, and they dated for three years until their mutual split. Since then, Y/N has poked fun at the relationship, but no substantial details have been released about their break up.
tagged: @ yourusername
comments (2942):
@ user9: HELP i forgot about emmett he's such an npc 😮‍💨
@ user10: emmett is no longer relevant to the lore
-> @ user2: The real man we should be paying attention to is Lando Norris
-> @ user8: i know omg 😭
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comments (3842):
@ user11: They're both silly gooses, I'm scared to see the havoc they'll wreak together in McLaren 🥲
@ user12: i'll believe it when i see it
@ user13: Lando is too immature to have a stable girlfriend
-> @ user3: which is why Y/N's perfect, they'll be immature together 🥰
-> @ user4: This just proves you've never watched one of Y/N's shows before lmao
Y/N's Instagram Story (2025):
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comments (8521):
@ user13: OMG OMG OMG IT'S STARTING
-> @ user14: I'm so glad I get to be alive during the LandoY/N era
@ user12: It'll be so funny if this turns out to be from Oscar or something 🙃
-> @ user15: HELP
Text Messages between Y/N and Lando (2025):
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@ landonorris: P3 in Mexico! Awesome results
tagged: @ mclaren, @ f1, @ yourusername
comments (64312):
@ user16: ALERT ALERT Y/N HAS BEEN TAGGED
@ user13: guys i'm actually gonna combust 🫣🔥
-> @ user17: They're together, it has to be
@ yourusername: nice sombrero 😋
-> @ landonorris: Thank you!!!
Text Messages between Y/N and Lando (2025):
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@ yourusername: hola mexico 🇲🇽
tagged: @ landonorris
comments (3846):
@ yourbffusername: Looks so fun!
-> @ yourusername: yes it was incredible
@ user10: laaandoooo i see you 👀
@ user18: How does it feel to be living my dream
@ landonorris: So glad you could make it, had a lot of fun talking to you
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@ f1gossip: It is rumored that comedian Y/N L/N and McLaren driver Lando Norris are together, after Y/N posted a photo of her receiving paddock passes, and the pair responded to one another's posts about the Mexico Grand Prix.
tagged: @ yourusername, @ landonorris
comments (1293):
@ user9: i'm waitinggg
@ user10: this is worse than the wait for reputation tv
-> @ user18: clowning so hard i know 😖
@ user19: HAVE ANY OF YOU GUYS SEEN LANDO'S INSTA STORY? 🤯
Lando's Deleted Instagram Story:
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comments (235):
@ user20: OMGOMGDSDKLSDDNS
@ user21: my eyes are not deceiving me, this is y/n
@ user5: Y/N IS THAT YOU 😳
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@ landonorris: OK OK yes I give in, we are together. Happy one month, @ yourusername, I love you to the moon and back!
tagged: @ yourusername
comments (34852):
@ user21: classic Lando accidentally posting the wrong thing and outing himself
-> @ user22: idk what else we would expect from chaos incarnate 😭
@ yourusername: love you too, muppet 😘
Interview with Lando Norris (2025):
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Interviewer: So, you've just recently announced that you're dating Y/N L/N!
Lando Norris: Yes, I'm really happy about it.
Interviewer: Any plans to bring her to the next race?
Lando Norris: Maybe, we'll see. (laughs and smiles) The paddock is a lot cheerier when she's there, so hopefully, fingers crossed. I'm very, very lucky to call her mine.
─── ୨୧ ─── THE END ─── ୨୧ ───
409 notes · View notes
anthropwashere · 4 months ago
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She pestered an aunt I don't think I've seen in over 20 years to text me to confirm I received these Crucial Amazon Pajamas, amazing
Was briefly baffled by a package I didn't order appearing today and had my suspicions, but blocked voicemails from Mom confirm she bought me pajamas? I'd have preferred if she used that money to pay back whoever she owes most recently. But. Well. She sent 'em.
Honestly Amazon pajamas are a huge step up from the last gift she sent me like 5 years ago that had me genuinely freaked out wondering who the fuck was anonymously sending me soft pornography
15 notes · View notes
empressofthewind · 2 months ago
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Rating Death Note characters by how much I'd trust them to watch my drink at a bar
(Saw someone do this with Teen Wolf and loved the concept. Here is the original)
Light: 10/10. If we're talking Normal!Light, I think he'd be very trustworthy on this front. Taking Kira!Light into account might change things, but I don't think drink spiking is even a consideration in that scenario; if he wants me dead, I won't be making it back in time to finish the drink anyway.
L: 0/10. I adore him but he does not care enough about anyone to bother doing this for them. I'd come back and he'd be like "yes I watched your drink" while it's sitting 20 feet away from him and he's staring soulfully into a coffee cup. May even spike it himself just to study me under the effects of a drug.
Misa: 5/10. Depends on the circumstances. If Light didn't like me (or, in her eyes, liked me a little TOO much) she is absolutely not looking out for me. Otherwise I feel like she'd happily do it but may get distracted.
Mello: 7/10. I think he'd do it provided that I could offer him something in return.
Near: 3/10. Listen. I DO trust him. I just don't trust that his presence is enough of an incentive for someone not to spike the drink.
Mikami: 11/10. If he sets his mind to something, by God he will do it. He is guarding that shit with his life.
Takada: 7/10. She's not really a girl's girl but I'd trust her if she had reason to look out for me.
Sayu: 9/10. I couldn't rate her a 10 since she's a child for half the series, but older Sayu has for sure got my back. Would buy me another one if anything happened to it.
Soichiro: 8/10. Generally speaking, I'd say he's the most trustworthy on this list. Loses points because he may try to talk me out of drinking in the first place.
Matsuda: 6/10. Would very enthusiastically volunteer to do it but would be so anxious about it, I'd feel like a burden on him. He is not enjoying himself at the bar as long as he has this task to worry about.
Task Force: 10/10. I think any of the other Task Force members would be super reliable. Mogi would be one of my top picks out of anyone on this list; no one is coming within a 10-mile radius of my drink on his watch.
SPK: 10/10. Similarly, I think all the SPK's surviving members would be very trustworthy. If Ill Ratt is in the mix, the rating drops to -15.
Watari: 9/10. The guy kind of sucks, but I think he'd do it. Loses points anyway for doing fucked-up experiments on children.
Naomi: 100/10. Spaced out thinking about her and forgot what I was supposed to be rating her on.
Matt: 0/10. That man is watching his Gameboy, not my drink.
Rem: 10/10. Fiercely loyal, and has no reason not to look out for me. May even kill anyone who tries.
Ryuk: 0/10. Absolutely not. He would let someone spike it just to see what happens.
Higuchi: -1000/10. He is the one spiking it.
495 notes · View notes
fatecantstopme · 3 months ago
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Destination: Motel Feelings
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Pairing: Tyler Owens x plus size!reader
Summary: Two friends. One bed. What could possibly go wrong?
Warnings: it’s just a whole lot of smut, with a droplet of fluff. Cursing, use of pet names, self-esteem/body image issues. Oral (M & F receiving), unprotected sex (P in V), pretty fluffy sex overall.
“At least this motel is cleaner than the last one,” you mumbled as you entered the main lobby.
The motel was small, as most were in bumbfuck, Oklahoma, but it would have to do for the night.
“Who’s bunking with me this round?” Boone asked.
“Dexter’s with you. Dani and Lily are sharing, and then it’s me and Tyler,” you answered.
Since the six of you traveled together regularly, you’d made it a point to rotate sleeping arrangements to make it fair. This week was your week to bunk with Tyler. You always hated when it was just you and him, not because of anything he did, but because of how awkward you felt the entire time.
It wasn’t your fault he was gorgeous and charming and funny and smart…the combination of which made you want him with an unhealthy desperation. He was your favorite person to be around, but never alone. You needed a buffer to keep you from being incredibly awkward, or gods forbid, telling him how you felt.
You were certain Tyler wouldn’t be mean about your feelings or make you feel bad, but you were equally certain you weren’t his type. You’d met a fair amount of guys that looked as good as him, and not a single one of them was ever interested in you. You weren’t ashamed of your body, but you weren’t exactly comfortable being the only overweight person in your friend group.
You'd long since accepted the curves that came with puberty, curves that had only grown as you'd gotten older. Not a single part of you was what you would deem small, other than perhaps your height. You had large boobs and the back pain to accompany them, along with hips and an ass you were convinced could stop traffic. Your stomach had long been your biggest hurdle--and your main point of self-consciousness. Suffice it to say you were soft...and Tyler was very much not.
"You don't sound excited to be sharing a room with me, darlin'," Tyler teased lightly from behind you.
You chuckled in response. "I think I'd sell my kidney to stay in a hotel room without any of you for a week."
The rest of the team laughed while Boone and Dexter stepped up to the counter to check-in. Dani went next, grabbing room keys for her and Lily. The four of them went upstairs to throw their bags down, with a promise to be back in the lobby in 10 minutes for dinner.
You and Tyler smiled at the older woman behind the counter as you gave your name to check-in. The woman frowned slightly as she looked at her computer screen.
"Is everything alright?" Tyler asked gently.
"Well, it seems there was a bit of a mix up," she began. "We actually only have one room available."
"That's fine," you reasoned. "We only need one."
The woman nodded, but her expression still looked mildly uncomfortable. "It's--uh--it's a single."
You froze, contemplating the meaning of her words.
"Is there a couch?" Tyler asked, saving you from the discomfort.
She nodded, a look of relief crossing her face. "There is!"
"Then we'll take it," Tyler said with a smile.
A few minutes later, the two of you had your keys and were on the way upstairs to your room. You unlocked the door and barked out a laugh as you took in the space.
Tyler stepped in behind you and let out a low groan. "That's the couch?"
You laughed harder. "I didn't know they made couches that small. It's comical."
Tyler sighed and tossed his bag onto the freakishly small couch. "It's only for a night, right?"
You winced slightly. "At least two...possibly three."
"Shit," he mumbled.
"Ty, I'm not making you sleep on that tiny thing. You're over 6 feet tall...I don't even think you'll fit."
You both turned your attention to the bed on the other side of the room. Somehow, the queen sized bed looked dauntingly small to you.
"I'll, uh, take the couch," you offered.
"This thing looks like it's older than we are," Tyler muttered. "I wouldn't want my worst enemy sleeping on this thing, let alone you."
Your phone buzzed in your pocket, likely a text from Boone or Lily reminding you about dinner. "We'll figure it out after dinner. I'm starving."
Tyler nodded his agreement and followed you back down to the lobby where the rest of the team was waiting.
**********
By the time dinner was over and you'd said goodnight to the rest of the team, you'd nearly forgotten the predicament awaiting you in your room. Reality smacked you in the face the moment you opened the door and stepped back into the small space, a deep sigh settling in your chest.
"Why don't you get a shower first and I'll figure out how to make this work," Tyler said gently.
You just nodded, not wanting to consider the most logical solution to this particular issue. You grabbed your bag and entered the bathroom, shutting the door behind you. You made quick work of your shower and nighttime preparations, slipping on an oversized t-shirt and a pair of very short shorts.
You stared in the mirror for a moment, lost in a wave of self-consciousness. Every dimple in your thighs was visible, the soft flesh jiggling with your movements. You'd forgotten to throw a pair of pj pants in your bag before leaving home this time, so the shorts were all you had. You sighed, knowing it wasn't gonna get any better than it currently was, so you grabbed your bag and went back out into the room.
Tyler was lying on the floor, a singular blanket and pillow his only form of bedding.
A light laugh accompanied your words as you took in the sight before you. "What the heck are you doing?"
Tyler looked up with an uncomfortable shrug. "Sleeping on the floor. What does it look like?"
"It looks like you're insane," you said lightly. "I don't even want to know how disgusting these floors are...I would much rather sleep on the couch than let you sleep on the floor all night."
"Having sat on the couch already, I can promise you the floor is more comfortable."
You scoffed. "Impossible." You crossed the room and dropped onto the couch with an oomph. "Jesus--this thing is a rock."
Tyler laughed at your obvious discomfort. "I told you. There's no way I'm letting you sleep on that thing. At least one of us needs to get a good night's sleep."
"So why don't you sleep on the bed and I'll sleep on the floor."
Tyler glared at you. "Not happening, sweetheart. My mama raised me better than that."
You rolled your eyes. "No offense, Tyler, but I think you're a little too old to sleep on the floor these days. You're gonna wake up with a slipped disk and a hernia."
His laughter brought a smile to your face. "I'm not that old, (Y/N)."
"Well I'm definitely that old--and I'm a year younger than you."
He smirked as he pulled himself off the floor. "You're taking the bed, you muppet."
Your jaw dropped, a choked laugh escaping your throat. "Did you just call me a muppet?"
"Yes I did and I don't regret it." He grabbed his bag and rushed past you to get to the bathroom before you could find something to throw at him.
"Muppet," you murmured under your breath. "He's the muppet."
"I heard that!"
"Get in the shower, Owens!" you laughingly yelled back.
You unceremoniously dropped onto the bed, a sigh breezing past your lips. You were tired and the thought of having the entire bed to yourself was a pleasant one...until you sat up and looked at the makeshift bed on the cold, hard, unforgiving floor.
You knew there was no way you could let him sleep on the floor. While the comments about his age had been a joke, you were both in your 30s now and sleeping wrong could genuinely fuck you up for days. You absolutely couldn't make him sleep on the damn floor.
You glanced at the empty bed beside you and groaned. Sharing a bed with Tyler ranked very highly on your list of most horrifying situations. There was a high probability you would actually combust from embarrassment alone. What if you did something weird in your sleep? What if you kicked him or pushed him out of the bed? What if you accidentally tried to cuddle with him? You would die of mortification.
While you were contemplating all the ways this could go horribly wrong, Tyler came out from the bathroom clad in his boxers and a scandalously tight white t-shirt. You bit your lip, looking away from him hurriedly. You could feel the blush heating your cheeks and you prayed he wouldn't notice.
You cleared your throat quietly before gesturing to the bed beside you. You couldn't quite meet his gaze as you said, "You're not sleeping on the floor, so you might as well take half the bed."
Tyler raised his eyebrows even though he knew you weren't looking his way. "You sure, sweetheart? I don't wanna impose."
You shrugged. "We're adults, Ty. I think we can manage to share a bed for a couple nights without making it weird."
He noticed you still hadn't met his gaze, a fact he chose to ignore. Instead, he opted to use the moment to his advantage, blue-green eyes sweeping over your form, noting the exposed, soft flesh of your legs. He had twin urges to sink his teeth into your thighs and feel them wrap around his head until he couldn't breathe. He quickly shook the image out of his head before those impure thoughts could make their way below the belt line.
"We can put a pillow in the middle if you want," he offered sweetly.
"The bed is a little small for that--besides, we only have three pillows on this damn bed and I'm using two of them."
Tyler chuckled as he scooped up his pillow from the floor and placed it beside yours. He lowered himself onto the bed, feeling the mattress dip with his weight. "Why do you get two pillows and I only get one?"
"Because you like to sleep as flat as possible like some sort of psychopath."
Tyler laughed heartily, his grin widening as he took in the small smile gracing your face. "A psychopath?"
"Retaliation for calling me a muppet."
He laughed again, smacking you gently with his pillow. The action earned him a glare, followed by a slow, teasing smirk. His mind went blank as you finally made eye contact with him. Your pupils swallowed up nearly all of your irises thanks to the dim lighting and the singular lamp on his bedside table cast the prettiest glow on your skin. The only thought that crossed his mind was the word 'radiant'.
He swallowed thickly, forcing the word back down his throat before he could blurt it out. You'd never once given him an indication you felt the same way he did, and the last thing he wanted to do was make you uncomfortable.
"Alright, weirdo. Turn off that light so we can go to sleep," you murmured, breaking the spell of the moment.
Tyler did as you asked before settling more comfortably into the bed. You laid on your side, back to him, and he felt the urge to run his fingers through your hair--yet another urge he immediately suppressed.
He rolled over so his back was to you and let out a soft sigh. He had to admit he was tired, but being in the same bed with you and not touching you was almost painful, enough so that he wasn't sure he'd be able to sleep.
"Goodnight, Tyler," you whispered softly, keeping your eyes trained on the wall, even though you desperately wanted to look at him one more time.
"Goodnight, (Y/N/N)." He paused. "Just do me one favor."
"Hmm?"
"Keep your icy ass feet away from me."
You laughed, swinging your leg back to plant your foot against his bare calf. He swore and nearly jumped at the sensation.
"They're like icicles!"
You giggled. "They're not that bad you drama queen."
He rolled over enough to glare at your back. "That's drama king to you."
You shot a matching glare over your shoulder before you both burst out laughing. You swatted his arm affectionately, trying not to marvel at the firm muscles beneath your palm. "Go to sleep."
He smiled as he faced away again. "Goodnight, icicle."
He heard your breathy laugh as you murmured, "Goodnight, drama king."
**********
The exhaustion must have kicked in at some point because you could barely remember falling asleep when you awoke in the middle of the night. It took you several moments to orient yourself, having forgotten where you were.
In those moments before lucidity settled in, you could feel a radiating heat at your back and you instinctively curled into it, pressing against something very firm.
Then you felt it--breath gently blowing against your neck, something heavy draped across your middle, and someone's very large body pressed against you from head to foot.
Tyler. His name slammed into your brain, pushing you firmly into wide-awake territory. You quickly realized it was his body wrapped around yours, his breath caressing your neck, his arm holding you tightly against him.
You laid there, utterly frozen, as you contemplated what to do. His grip on you was surprisingly firm, preventing you from simply rolling out of his grasp, and there wasn't much room on your side of the bed to escape to anyway.
Somewhere in Tyler's subconscious, he must have felt the shift in your body and the urge to ease your tension was one he couldn't ignore even in his dreaming state.
His grip on you tightened even more, pulling you back against his chest. He pressed forward into you and you shifted slightly in an attempt to distance yourself. In doing so, you wiggled your ass right against his semi-hard member, eliciting a soft groan from Tyler's lips.
With absolute horror, you felt him start to harden even more, the urge to melt into the floor growing with each moment. You didn't want him to wake up and be mortified, so you tried to move away from him without waking him.
Your movements stirred him into awareness, the current situation coming into focus as he awoke. You felt the moment Tyler woke up fully, his body going rigid against yours before rolling away from you with shocking speed.
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, (Y/N)," he muttered in embarrassment. "I-I didn't mean--shit. I'm sorry."
"It's okay," you murmured, trying to diffuse the situation. "You were sleeping--it happens."
He groaned and rubbed his face wearily. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."
His voice was low and pained, the tone making your chest ache. "You didn't. It's alright." You reached out a hand to brush against his arm. "Hey...look at me."
His body remained tense beneath your fingers. "Ty," you urged.
He finally turned to look at you and he found himself surprised at your open expression. You didn't look angry or upset, in fact, if he didn't know better, he'd say you looked intrigued.
"No more apologizing," you ordered when he opened his mouth with a clear apology on his lips. "I didn't mind."
Your eyes widened as you realized what you'd just admitted, a bright pink blush quickly deepening your skin.
Emboldened by your words, Tyler leaned towards you slightly. "Which part? Me holding you? Or my obvious physical attraction to you?"
You exhaled sharply. "Your what?"
Tyler's eyes scanned your face and he was certain he saw a whole lot more than intrigue written there--he'd even say it was desire. "Oh come on princess. You felt my reaction..."
You blanched further. "It's-it's a physiological response--"
"To you," he added firmly. "A physiological response to you."
Your mouth opened and closed in an embarrassing representation of a fish before you finally pushed out one word, "Me?"
Tyler smirked, looking around the room. "You're the only one here, sweetheart."
You looked down at yourself before looking back at him, repeating the motion twice before you sputtered, "You-you. No--you...no way. You can't."
He smiled at your fumbled words. "I can and I do. I've never met anyone who makes me feel the way you do."
"Physically?" you gasped in disbelief.
He chuckled. "Physically and emotionally, actually."
Your draw dropped further. "What?"
Tyler stood up and moved to your side of the bed, kneeling down in front of you. "Let me make this very explicitly clear, (Y/N). Yes, I find you attractive. Yes, I want you. Yes, I think you're incredible. No, I don't just wanna fuck. Yes, I want to be with you."
You stared at him in silence for a long moment. "Am I dreaming?" you whispered.
He shook his head and gently brushed a thumb against your outer thigh. "We're both wide awake, baby."
"Are you sure?"
He chuckled. "That we're awake? Very."
"No--that you want me."
Tyler grabbed both of your hands and squeezed them between his. "I am completely certain I want you in every meaning of the word. I would, however, like to start with getting to know you...biblically."
You let out a breathy laugh. "I would ask if you're drunk, but I already know the answer."
"Sober as a priest, darlin'."
"So you're just insane then?"
He cocked his head to the side. "I've never felt more sane in my life. I've wanted you since the day you walked into my life, (Y/N). Only way I'm walking away now is if you tell me you don't feel the same."
You stared at him, a look of confused wonder on your face. Never did you think Tyler Owens would be saying this to you...but here he was, literally on his knees, telling you everything you've wanted to hear for so long.
"Of course I feel the same," you said softly. "How could I not?"
He smiled as he slowly pulled himself up, but instead of rising to his full height, he began to slowly crawl onto the bed, forcing you to lay down to accommodate him.
He stopped once you were fully trapped beneath him, lips so close you could feel his warm breath. "Stop me if this isn't what you want," he whispered.
You lifted your head to close the gap between you, lips pressing firmly against his. He groaned into the kiss, immediately deepening it.
You slid your tongue along the seam of his lips, silently begging him to let you in. He obliged, tongue meeting yours with fervent passion. He tangled his fingers into your hair with one hand, while the other slipped under your shirt to gently rub at your hips.
You were inclined to allow him to kiss you until you passed out from lack of oxygen, but he finally pulled away just enough to suck down a lungful of air.
"If I'd known kissing you felt like that, I would have done this years ago," he murmured.
You chuckled breathlessly. "I haven't been kissed like that in a long time--perhaps ever, if I'm honest."
"Then allow me to make a promise. I will kiss you like that every day for the rest of your life."
You gasped. "That's...a rather intense commitment, Ty."
"Five years, (Y/N)."
"I'm gonna die in five years?"
Tyler chuckled and shook his head. "God I hope not. I meant, I have wanted to do that for five years...so no, it's not as big of a commitment as you'd think. I'd think of it more as an honor."
You stared at him in silence for a moment. "Who taught you to talk like that?"
He grinned, but you could see a light blush dusting his cheeks even in the dark room. "I, uh--I've read a lot of those books you told me about."
"Books I've read?"
He nodded.
"I had no idea."
"Well I knew how much you liked them and I was curious...so I started reading one and I couldn't stop. They actually gave me some ideas for things I'd like to do with you."
"I'm not quite sure why that's so hot, but it is. So if you could please kiss me again, I'd appreciate it."
Tyler grinned, leaning down to press his lips to yours. You sighed into the kiss and pulled him even closer to you, desperate to feel as much of him as you could.
He felt the same way, right hand sliding farther up your side under your shirt, exposing more of your flesh as he went.
His thumb brushed the underside of your breast and he groaned into the kiss as he realized it meant you'd forgone a bra. He moved his hand to properly cup your breast, kneading the supple flesh before brushing a thumb over your peaked nipple.
You gasped softly and you reached for the hem of his shirt to tug it off. He allowed you to remove it and proceeded to reach for yours. A wave of self-consciousness hit you and you grabbed his wrists to stop him from lifting it further.
"Maybe we keep it on?" you said softly.
He looked confused. "Why?"
You didn't answer right away. You didn't want to admit to the feelings of self-doubt or acknowledge your body image issues, but you also didn't like the idea of being fully exposed to him. Especially now that you could see exactly how well-sculpted he was.
His eyes scanned your face, looking for an answer to his question. You weren't making eye contact with him, but you weren't telling him to stop, which only added to his growing confusion.
"Do you want to stop?"
"No!" you said quickly. "I just--I don't..."
The confusion on his face was almost endearing. He wanted to see you, touch you, kiss you...and he couldn't understand why you didn't want him to.
"Am I making you uncomfortable?" he whispered.
You shook your head immediately. "It's not you at all, Tyler. It's me."
He frowned. "I don't understand."
You let out an exasperated sigh, realizing you really would have to be straightforward. "I don't really like the way I look without clothes on." Your voice was low, barely a whisper, but he still heard every word.
Realization hit him like an EF5 tornado. "Who made you feel that way?"
The harsh tone of his voice surprised you, so much so that you finally made eye contact with him again. His eyes were dark and there was a hint of simmering anger in them.
When you didn't answer, he asked again. "Who made you feel like you weren't beautiful?"
You exhaled slowly. "Do you want a list?"
His nostrils flared and he balled his hands into fists. "No one has the right to make negative comments on your appearance. No one, including you. I'm sorry anyone ever made you feel like you weren't a fucking prize, but that's their loss. If you don't feel comfortable showing me your body yet, then I won't push you, but I need you to know I want to see every inch of you...so I can worship every inch of you."
Your lips parted in surprise as you let his words sink in. There was no hint of deception in his voice or his gaze, and it gave you a surge of much-needed confidence.
You sat up just enough to pull your shirt up and over your head before letting your back hit the sheets. Your pulse was racing, breathing ragged, and you couldn't quite make yourself look at him.
Tyler was silent as he beheld your exposed torso, gaze sweeping appreciatively over every dip and curve, mentally marking every spot he wanted to spend extra time on.
He finally looked back up at your face, noticing instantly that your eyes were trained on the ceiling. "Baby. Look at me."
The dominance in his voice, while gentle, left no room for argument. You met his adoring gaze and the last dredges of worry left your body, taking the tension along with it.
He watched your body relax and a small smile formed on his lips. He leaned forward so he hovered over you once more and murmured, "You are absolutely exquisite."
With those four words, you melted, becoming a pliable instrument to his will. He kissed you softly before beginning his descent down your jaw, your neck, to your collarbone, and finally to your breasts.
"I think I'll stop here for a while," he mumbled against your soft skin.
You let out a breathy chuckle as you slid your fingers into his hair. He was true to his word, not a single inch of skin left untouched by either his mouth or hands.
The growing need for him was starting to become more prominent, the slick gathering between your thighs almost to an embarrassing level. As much as you were enjoying the attention he paid to your breasts, you needed to feel him elsewhere.
Before you could voice the need, Tyler continued his descent down your stomach, kissing every little mark he found. He reveled in the feeling of softness beneath his hands, wanting nothing more than to touch your body forever.
"Tyler," you whimpered, need evident in your voice.
He chuckled against your skin. "So impatient."
You squirmed slightly, desperate for some form of friction, a need he, himself, was also feeling. He hooked his fingers in the sides of your shorts and you lifted your hips to allow him to remove the last scrap of fabric from your body.
The sound that slipped past Tyler's lips could only be described as a growl. "That tiny bit of fabric was all that was between me and all of this?"
You nodded, unable to speak as he slipped a finger between your folds to collect your slick. He brought the finger to his mouth and sucked it clean, moaning softly at your taste.
"I knew you would be delicious."
He dropped to his knees off the edge of the bed, then grabbed your hips and tugged you towards him. A squeal of surprise escaped you, which brought a smirk to his lips.
"I wanted a better angle." With that, he threw your legs over his shoulders and dove into your pussy.
Your moans immediately drowned out any of the other sounds in the room, and even the ambient noise from outside. Tyler was incredibly skilled with his mouth, even more than you'd always imagined.
His tongue swirled your clit as he slipped one finger into you, gently curling it against the soft, spongey spot that made your toes curl. Your hips jacked off the bed in response, causing him to drape an arm across your abdomen to hold you in place.
"More, Tyler," you begged.
He grinned and added another finger, increasing the pace of the thrusts and his ministrations on your clit. Your hands clawed at the sheets as you neared your peak, desperate pleas to not stop mixed with your moans of pleasure.
Tyler, of course, did not stop. He wanted you to cum as much as you wanted it. He could feel how close you were, your pussy was squeezing his fingers so tightly it was becoming harder to move them. You kept trying to move your hips to grind on his face for even more friction, but he held you in place.
With a final flick of his tongue, you fell over the edge, waves of pleasure filling your senses. Tyler didn't stop until your moans turned to soft whimpers and you squirmed away from him.
He crawled back onto the bed, watching you as you came down from your high. He was certain you'd never looked more beautiful. When he said as much, you blushed deeply and averted your gaze.
"Oh come on, princess. Don't get all shy on me now."
You giggled lightly and looked at him again. He looked so damn good it was nearly offensive. You reached for his boxers with a murmured, "May I?"
Instead of answering, he stood up and removed his boxers quickly. You bit your lip at the sight of his very large member. The man gave off big dick energy, so you really shouldn't have been surprised.
You licked your lips absentmindedly as you looked at him. You pulled yourself up into a sitting position and flicked your gaze to his face. He was surprised by the hunger evident in your expression and he suddenly felt his need for you intensify.
He took a step towards you as if to crawl back on top of you, but you shook your head. "Lie down," you commanded softly.
The look in your eyes had him obeying immediately. As soon as he'd laid down, you climbed onto him, straddling his thigh. Your soft hand wrapped firmly around his cock and you began to stroke him slowly, earning soft sounds of enjoyment from him.
You smirked as you took in his expression, pleasure evident on his face. You lowered yourself, taking him into your mouth with a soft moan of your own. His hand was instantly in your hair, grip tightening as you started moving.
You swirled your tongue around his head before sucking tightly. You relaxed your throat and continued to take more of him into your mouth until he hit the back of your throat. Anything your mouth couldn't take, your hand pleasured.
His moans spurred you on and guided your motions. You picked up on the subtle things that seemed to provide him more pleasure and you focused on those. Your own enjoyment was evident in the moans you made around his cock and the way you occasionally rubbed your pussy against his thigh, desperately seeking some relief.
Tyler could feel his orgasm fast approaching, but he wasn't ready to cum yet. With a strong tug on your hair, he lifted your head off his cock. You whined in annoyance, a small pout on your face when you met his gaze.
"Sorry, baby, but I'd like this to last."
Your expression softened and you shifted your body to straddle his hips. You leaned forward to kiss him deeply. He met your lips hungrily, teeth nipping at your bottom lip before his tongue delved into your mouth.
You gently brushed your pussy against his cock, eliciting needy moans from both of you.
"I don't think I can wait any longer," Tyler murmured.
"Me neither," you admitted. You sat back up, an odd expression he couldn't name on your face.
"You alright, sugar?"
You bit your lip. "Could I...could I ride you?"
A wide grin spread across Tyler's face. "'Course you can."
You weren't accustomed to being on top, but it was something you really wanted to try with him. You gripped his cock and slowly lowered yourself down onto him, gasps and whimpers leaving your lips as you took all of him.
Tyler's grip on your hips tightened, a low groan leaving his throat as he watched his cock disappear inside you. You shook slightly, so he rubbed soothing circles into your hips and whispered, "Just relax, baby. I've got you."
You nodded and took a deep breath, allowing your body time to adjust to his considerable size. You placed your hands against his chest, using them for leverage as you lifted yourself up and dropped back down onto his cock.
The sensation was incredible...and the control was utterly intoxicating. You started to move faster, spurred on by the way his fingers dug into your flesh and the sounds of pleasure escaping his parted lips.
After several minutes, your thighs began to burn and your motions slowed. Tyler noticed your energy waning, so he pulled you down flush against his chest and kissed you deeply. He thrust up into you a couple times before flipping you onto your back.
"Let me take care of you," he murmured as he began to slowly thrust into you.
His movements were slow and calculated, leaving you utterly breathless. Your nails scrapped along his shoulders and back, moans slipping past your lips with each thrust. "Tyler..." you whimpered.
He nipped at your collarbone in response to his name, the sound coming from your lips was easily the most beautiful thing he'd ever heard.
He pulled himself up onto his knees, tugging both of your legs up to rest against his chest. The new position elevated your hips at just the right angle for each thrust to press firmly against your sweet spot.
The chorus of broken moans coming from you mixed with the sounds your mingled bodies made to create the most intoxicating symphony Tyler'd ever heard.
There was not a single thought in your head other than the overwhelming pleasure you were on the receiving end of. You were lost in it--in him. Your nails dug roughly into his biceps as you clung to him with all your strength.
Gasps of his name left you, along with desperate pleas to keep going. Tyler pushed past the pain in his arms as you drew blood, his sole focus on making sure you reached your peak. He watched your face contort in pleasure, chest heaving, eyes closed, moans dripping from your open mouth.
"Look at me," he whispered.
Your eyes fluttered open, taking a moment to focus on his blue-green ones. The moment your eyes met, you fell apart with a fractured scream of his name. The muscles of your core clenched tightly around him, forcing him to a slower pace.
Tyler watched you in awe, utterly enraptured by the sheer magnitude of the moment. Your legs shook as he took them in his hands and gently lowered them back to the bed.
Your hands had fallen from his arms, but you now reached for him. "Ty."
He leaned forward, placing both his palms on the bed beside your head, caging you beneath him once again. His thrusts had slowed considerably, but you knew he needed his own release. You could see it in the tension lining his jaw and the desperation in his eyes.
You nipped his jaw affectionately, earning a low chuckle from him. "I want you to cum inside me," you murmured.
A deep growl rumbled in his chest at your words. His pace immediately picked back up, now chasing his own release. "You feel incredible, baby."
You sighed sweetly, fingers touching his tanned skin and tangling in his hair. "So do you."
His moans mixed with pants of your name, and he dug one hand into the hair at the nape of your neck, clinging to you desperately. "I can't get enough of you. So perfect for me."
You moaned softly at his words, loving the praise coming from him. You could tell he was close as his thrusts became more erratic.
You pressed kisses to his jaw and the column of his throat before whispering, "Cum for me, Tyler. Please, baby, I need it."
Tyler groaned loudly, hips stuttering as he spilled his seed deep inside you. He moaned your name against your lips, thrusts slowing to nothing. He kissed your jaw before collapsing on top of you, heavy pants leaving his mouth.
You kissed the top of his head and rubbed your fingers soothingly over his back. You could feel some of the marks you'd left on his skin, a slight embarrassment sinking into you.
"You were incredible," he murmured against your skin. "So much better than I'd imagined...and I've imagined it a lot."
You giggled lightly at his admission. "I might have imagined it once or twice myself."
He lifted his head to look at you, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "And? Did I meet your expectations?"
"No," you said honestly, a small smile on your face. You saw his smirk fade slightly as you moved closer. "You exceeded them."
The tension in his face eased to a genuine smile. He pressed his lips against yours in a sweet kiss that still managed to make your toes curl.
Tyler slowly lifted himself off you, softening cock sliding out of you along with your mixed spends. You let out a soft whimper, which earned you a sweet smile and a loving kiss.
"I'm coming right back, princess. Just wanna clean up."
You watched him walk away to the bathroom, leaving you to wonder if you should try and get up too. After all, you needed cleaned up just as badly as he did.
He saved you from having to make that decision when he came back moments later with a warm washcloth. Your expression softened considerably when you realized he'd brought it for you.
"What's that face for?" he asked softly.
"Just appreciating how sweet you are."
He smiled. "I'm gonna pretend you didn't think I was just gonna leave you here with this mess." His tone was light, though slightly chastising.
"I've never had someone take care of me after sex," you admitted, a soft blush gracing your cheeks.
Tyler looked surprised as he slowly began to clean you up. "Clearly you've been sleeping with the wrong men."
You chuckled softly, even as you winced from the over-stimulation between your legs. "Looks like I made the right choice this time."
Tyler made sure you were completely clean and dry before responding. "I think we both did."
Your eyes brightened with emotion and you reached for him in a silent plea. He tossed the rag behind him towards the bathroom before crawling back into bed.
He grabbed you firmly, pulling you into his chest. You curled up against him, head resting against the muscle of his pectoral. You felt him brush his fingers down your arm, the movement affectionate and possessive.
You kissed his chest, a small sigh leaving your lips as you settled in. You felt the exhaustion coming to claim you and you could tell by Tyler's even breathing that it was coming for him too.
As you closed your eyes, your foolish brain began to overthink every moment of the night. You wondered if he would regret his choices in the light of day, or if he would want to actually have a real relationship with you.
Tyler felt the tension in your body and his grip on you tightened. "Turn your brain off, princess."
You inhaled sharply before letting out a soft chuckle. "How'd you know?"
"I know you. I can practically hear your brain overthinking," he teased. "Whatever your anxiety says is wrong. I'm in this for the long haul, okay?"
You exhaled heavily as if releasing all those negative thoughts. "I love you, Tyler," you whispered so softly he had to strain to hear.
His heart skipped a beat and a slow smile spread across his face. He nuzzled into your hair, his grip on your soft body tightening. "I love you too, princess."
The soft words of affection were the last you shared before falling asleep in each other's arms.
**********
The morning light shining in through the windows woke you, a groan of annoyance leaving you as you tried to block out the light.
Tyler's responding grumble sent shivers through your body, making you curl in closer to him. You felt his lips graze your forehead, as he said in a voice heavy with sleep, "Mornin', darlin'."
"Don't wanna," you groused.
Tyler chuckled lightly. "I know baby, but we gotta."
"Five more minutes."
He kissed your forehead again before untangling himself from you. "I'll give you ten. I'm gonna jump in the shower."
You whimpered as his warmth left you, but you quickly rolled over into the spot he'd just vacated. You sighed softly as you curled up, the residual heat from his body warming you.
He chuckled again and thought to himself that he could get used to this--waking up beside you. You looked even more beautiful in the morning light and he found himself excited to tell everyone he came across that you were his. He kissed you one last time before going to shower.
You heard the shower turn on and you debated the merits of joining him. You didn't want to get out of the warm bed, but you also knew you had to. A nice hot shower with the man of your dreams did sound rather enticing.
You groaned as you pulled yourself out of bed on slightly unstable legs. You slowly made your way to the bathroom, slipping in quietly. You could see Tyler's outline behind the glass, his back to you as he reached for his body wash.
You crossed the short distance, opening the shower door and stepping inside. "Mind if I join you?"
Tyler turned to you with a grin. "I'd love it, actually."
You reached a hand out for the body wash and washcloth he held. "Let me."
He smiled and handed them to you, but when you stepped closer, you saw the marks on his biceps--crescent moon shaped scabs. "Oh my god," you gasped. "Did I do that?"
Tyler's eyes followed your line of sight. "It's not a big deal, princess. They're badges of honor, as all marks from you are."
You bit your lip, clearly unconvinced.
"Baby." His voice was stern enough you immediately turned your attention to his face. "I'm okay. I promise."
You relaxed, the clear calm in his expression easing your worry. "Okay."
He grabbed your hips and tugged you towards him, a little smile on his face. "Besides, you've got a nice bite mark on that pretty collarbone of yours...and some finger shaped bruises on these sexy hips."
You looked down to where his fingers grazed your skin and realized he was right. A light blush crept up to your cheeks. "I have to admit...I quite like the idea of you marking me."
Tyler grinned wolfishly. "Now you know how I feel."
You giggled softly, allowing him to press his body more firmly against you, lips seeking yours for a gentle kiss.
When he attempted to deepen the kiss, you gently pushed him back. "We need to actually bathe, remember? The team's expecting us for breakfast soon."
He groaned. "They can wait."
"Tyler!" you yelped when he pulled you back in, pressing a warm kiss to your lips.
You could feel his cock begin to harden against your abdomen, his hands roaming your body like he wanted to memorize it. You sighed softly as he gently messaged your skin, your need for him growing with each passing moment.
"Come on, princess. Let me make you feel good," he begged against your ear, fingers dangerously close to your core.
"Please," you whimpered.
Tyler grinned, nipping at your earlobe, then your pulse point, focusing there as his fingers dipped into your dripping pussy. A soft moan of pleasure left your lips, head tilting back to lean against the cool tiles.
"I'm thinking we might just skip breakfast all together," Tyler murmured.
You laughed breathily, grabbing his face to plant another kiss to his swollen lips. "I think I'm okay with that."
Tyler spent the next 45 minutes making you moan his name as he gave you overwhelming pleasure. He also used up all the hot water in the entire motel, which you discovered when the two of you finally made it out of your room to meet the rest of the team.
"Dude, I had to take a freezing cold shower," Boone was grumbling as you and Tyler walked downstairs.
"Me too!" Dani chimed in. "Someone must have used all the hot water."
A sheepish smile graced your face as you overheard their conversation. Tyler let out a quiet chuckle, hand squeezing yours gently.
Lily made eye contact with you, noting your expression, your's and Tyler's wet hair, and the hold he still had on your hand. A knowing grin spread across her face. "I think I know exactly who used all the hot water."
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shanastoryteller · 2 months ago
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Happy Valentine's Day! I love your work! fma? Something with havoc? Or something with Leon from Merlin?
a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11
They spend a lot of time talking with Ed, but not that much time talking about him, comparatively. It's like the bar is it's own private space, somehow separated from the real world and all its accompanying complications. It's like Ed's pulled a piece of Resembool into Central through the force of is presence alone.
Which means Havoc's not expecting it when they're all at the office working late, except for Roy for reasons the rest of them are trying not to worry too much over, and Maes leans against his desk and says, "So. Edward."
His head pops up, looking around, but it's just the rest of their office who's also staring at Maes.
Maes rolls his eyes. "We're not bugged right now. It's fine."
The right now should really concern him more than it does. "Okay. What about him?"
"You're the one that knew him first, right?" he asks.
He nods warily.
"Did you know about his brother?"
Havoc stares. Like anyone could know Ed without knowing Al. The two of them had been joined at the hip as kids. They still were, really, since Ed is willing to tolerate city life so Al can teach at the university. "Alphonse? Yeah. What about him?"
"Did you know that he's an alchemist?" Maes asks.
There's a beat of disbelieving silence and then Havoc's laughing in his face.
He can't help it. Maes is dumbfounded and everyone else is looking at him like he's crazy, but it's ridiculous. Does he know that Al is an alchemist? Does he know that Alphonse Elric is an alchemist?
"Jean," Riza snaps finally and he waves at them, wiping the tears from his eyes and forcing himself back under control.
"Hughes, man, come on," he says. "Are you messing with me? Yeah, of course, they've been doing alchemy since they were knee height. They redirected the town river before I'd left. On request, but still."
"They?" Breda repeats. "Are you saying Ed's an alchemist too?"
They can't be serious. Has it never really come up? He casts his mind back, but Ed doesn't do alchemy at the bar. Well, not that he's noticed anyway, and Ed's good enough that he wouldn't notice if Ed didn't want him too. "Ed's the scariest alchemist I know."
Sure, both of the Elrics could bend bedrock to their will and transmute seemingly anything out of thin air, but Al at least had the restraint to ask if that's something he should do before acting. Ed rarely bothered.
Roy had been a weapon during the war, like all the other state alchemists. But they should all count their lucky stars that the Elric brothers had been too young to be drafted.
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i-cant-sing · 7 months ago
Text
Time Traveller AU part 12
Part 1 is here. Part 2 is here. Part 3 is here. Part 4 is here. Part 5 is here. Part 6 is here. Part 7 is here. Part 8 is here. Part 9 is here. Part 10 is here. Part 11 is here. Time Traveller au masterlist is here. Check out my MASTERLIST for more!
You and Silas stared at each other.
"What do you mean "okay"?"
You nod. "Okay, I'll marry you."
He looked at you suspiciously. "Why?"
"Why not?"
"That is not an answer." He frowned, making you sigh as you turned your body to face him completely. "Look, you're going to pay me anyways right?" He nodded. "So, I need the money, and well... lets just say I have nothing else left to lose. Maybe I'm just bored."
Bored? More like pissed at the universe and I will not let it beat me to the ground anymore. I wont go out without causing chaos and maybe if someone tries to kill me again, I will perhaps consider disrupting the historical timeline to make the universe itself combust and unravel. If I'm suffering, I'm taking the universe along!
Silas gave you an incredulous look, before shrugging in defeat. "Very well, then."
"Wait-" You stop him from getting up. "Why did you choose me? Actually, why do you need a wife?"
He rolled his eyes, standing up, you following along. "Come on, Silas. Tell me. Is it cause I'm pretty? Smart-"
"You dressed as a man."
What?
"What?"
He looked down at you. "What? You didnt think I'd spot you in that poor disguise at the newspaper office that day?"
Silas saw me that day? He recognised me?
"How did you even-" He scoffed. "I'm intelligent. And I have eyes. I notice everyone and everything." He turned around and began walking away.
"Wait!" You ran after him. "That still doesnt answer my question! You're marrying me because I dressed like a man? What- you're attracted by that-"
"Stop talking." Silas cut you off abruptly. "I chose you because you work at the newspaper, not because you're a man."
"Oh. So you need someone to write out articles singing your praises?Cant you just pay someone to do that?"
He rolled his eyes. "No. I dont need someone to sing my praises. I need you to be the mole there. I want you to report everything that happens at the paper, specifically about the murders thats been on going these days."
Murders? Murders-
"The White Chapel murders?" He nodded. "I need the papers to focus on them, not on me or who I am marrying. I need them to put the pressure on the cops to catch that sick bastard! Not idolise him with that stupid alias-"
"Jack the Ripper." You finish for him. He breathes heavily, anger radiating off him. "Yes, that. Because its only causing people to either admire him for killing off those prostitutes or fear him, letting the idea of them terrorise them!"
"I see. But... why do you need to get married to me for that? I mean, if you pay me, I could just report to you everything from there, including his letters."
Silas looked at you in slight annoyance, as if mad that you couldnt figure out his motives.
"The papers are focusing on me and my marriage. If I get married, the news will only run for a week or two before diverting their attention to the papers. And before you ask why I'm marrying you specifically instead of someone much better suited to my tastes-" okay, not gonna take that insult to heart. "- I told you, you work at the paper, which means you'll report everything to me. And if I were to marry someone more influential, the papers will continue to write about us for longer. But you? You're a nobody- believe me, I checked. You have no family, dont come from nobility, so no one will talk about you. "
Great. "Wow, you do know how to flatter a woman."
Silas smirked. "Trust me, "a woman" would be flattered-" You shot him a glare before he could finish off his joke.
-
Silas and you got married later that night. He arranged an out-of-town priest, some official documents, and two witnesses for the vows, which were his butler Cadbury and his wife, Erin, who acted as the best man and maid-of-honor. It was obvious that Silas wanted to keep this ceremony a secret, and he told you that the time will come to break the news.
When the priest asked him to kiss you, SIias pulled a face and said to skip over that part because you had bad breath. You did not. Jerk.
But you were glad you didnt had to kiss him, so you didnt bother kicking his shin. Maybe nearly dying so many times has made you grow a pair, or maybe its the fact that you dont actually consider this a real marriage because a Nikkah (an Islamic wedding) ceremony did not happen, so technically, you're still single, but you're surprised at how... calmly you've come to terms with everything.
Silas let you go back to you house, because the marriage was the still a secret so there's no use keeping you around at his place. Besides, he needs you to continue working on the murders.
Honestly, you do kind of want to find out who Jack the Ripper is. Any historian worth his salt, dreams of this very opportunity you've been given- to find out the man behind all the horrendous, gut wrenching murders.
Colin watched you get up from your desk and go to the corner office where Will was working on the murders. Poor Will. Colin pitied the lad- he had to deal with the gruesome details of the murders, write out the articles in details that are just pallatable enough for the readers, only to be rejected by the editor who wanted the front page news to be about Silas FitzGeorge.
What were you doing there? Colin didnt think it was best for you to go in there, after the depressing weeks you'd barely pulled yourself through. Grisly details of a killing spree might not be what you need at the moment.
"Hey Will!" You walk in his office, changing your voice to that of a man.
"Holmes." He acknowledged you briefly, his hair a mess as well his desk. If anyone knew how giddy you were everytime someone in the office called you Sherlock Holmes, you'd be labelled a loser for sure.
"Still working on those murders, eh?" You walk closer to his desk. "Any leads on who the mystery man might be?"
"No." He glared at you. "I would, if the coppers were to do their job and the editor published my work, but noooo. God forbid we miss any details on that FitzGeorge fella and his tragic life. Cry me a fucking river-" Ah, a fellow Silas hater. You can work with that.
"Let me help you." You offer him. Will raises his brow, before scoffing. "Unless you can somehow have the editor publish my articles, I dont think you can help me. Besides, I dont need an amateur disturbing me because he's just wants to see a dead body."
Amateur? Pfft, I'll have you know I was a minor celebrity on Wattpad at just age 11 when I wrote Sherlock Holmes fanfics-
"How about this? If I can convince the editor to post your work, will you let me help?"
Will stares at you, studying you for a moment.
"Fine."
You walk out of his office and go to your desk where Colin is already waiting for you.
"Hey, Colin." You greet him, sitting down as you pull a blank sheet of paper from your drawer and start writing on it.
"Hey... Sherlock. What were you doing in-" He leans down to read what you're writing. "Jack The Ripper- why are you writing about him?"
You shrug. "Why not? He's an important figure to talk about and needs to be caught. If the papers bring enough attention to him, it'll put pressure on the authorities to work harder to catch him."
"I get that, but- I mean, you already have the FitzGeorges to write about and what about other douches in high society?" Colin tried to persuade you.
"I'll write about them too, in fact. Dont worry about it. I'm going to bring you some real dirt soon." You tell him before picking up the pen again, but Colin grasps your wrist, stopping you.
"Y/n, I just dont think that you should be working on this right now-"
"Colin." You cut him off, freeing your wrist. "I'm grateful for your concern for my well being, but I assure you- I am not made of glass. I can handle my business. Besides, this is something that has intrigued me. Let me work on it, please." You say before returning to writing down your points on the homicidal maniac.
-
After work, you changed out of your disguise and went to the antique store on Regent street, or what was left of it.
You knew there was no chance, but something inside you hoped that your time machine had survived.
The store was burnt down, and since the interior was mainly made of wood, most of the antiques had burnt to ashes or at least, damaged beyond repair and could not be sold.
You stood outside the ruins off the store, the property was sealed off and guards stood outside it, not letting you in.
"Please, I just need to-"
"Like I said, miss. We were given specific instructions not to let anyone in." The guard cut you off, annoyed by your insistence.
Before you could argue again, someone walked up behind you.
"Y/n." Henry looked at you. He was dressed well, his hair combed and face shaved, well kept as he usually was but his eyes.... he had bags under his eyes. Like he hadnt slept in days.
"What are you doing here?"
"Oh, um- I just wanted to see if my stuff is still there."
He nodded at his guards to step aside, leading you inside the shop.
"Look around. See if you can find it." Henry's tone was flat, as if he already knew.
Still, you looked around. You searched the whole place, not even finding the remains off your machine. And how could you? It was made of mostly plastic and very cheap metal, its not like you had funds to make it indestructible.
Or incombustible.
"Satisfied?" He asked you when you finally stopped looking for it.
You huff. "If you'd just given it to me before-"
"Y/n." He cut you off. "I lost my store. I lost my employee who was working in here, who was blasted to pieces. I lost more money than you can ever imagine and you have the nerve to stand there and try to blame it on me? After I'd given you the courtesy to look through my property to put your mind to ease?"
He admonished you, all while barely letting his rage slip through his voice. He was holding back from blowing up on you, but it did not help because you still felt small.
Because he is right. He lost an employee. He lost money. He lost too, and yet you have the audacity to complain to him like he was somehow at fault.
And he wasnt. Its not like he bombed his store.
"Do you know who did it?" You ask, diverting your eyes to avoid his piercing gaze.
"No one "did" it. It was an accident." Henry looked at the floorboard. "Apparently, there was gunpowder in some of the artefacts that came from China that day. The employee probably didnt check it when he put it on the table, next to a candle. Then one got lit up and it set off all the others, blowing up the whole store."
That... sounds like a big coincidence.
"Henry, are you sure someone wasnt behind this-"
"Y/n, I dont have time to entertain your wild theories right now. I have to deal with insurance and other things. Please leave." He cut you off abruptly.
Without giving him another moment to bruise your self esteem, you stormed out of his store. By the time you reached home, it was dark, which wasnt the best idea with a murderer on the loose- as the boys made it clear.
"Do you have any idea what he's capable of?! Have you seen the crime scenes?!" Liam yelled at you.
"No. But its not like I'm a prostitute, so he wont hurt me." You answer from your seat between Benjamin's legs, who insisted on brushing the knots out of your hair and placing some essential oils in your hair.
Liam looked at you like you'd grown two heads. "How would he know that?!"
You leaned forward, frowning. "Okay if you're saying that you cant the difference between a prostitute and me, then thats just insulting to me and to you as a police officer!"
Shepherd suppressed a chuckle as he handed a drink to Liam to calm him down. As they continued to joke around, you mind went to your time machine.
Sure, you could try making it from scratch again. It'll be difficult, and not just because there isnt enough technology to make the whole thing by yourself, but also because the mere idea of building a time machine could have you lobotomised.
So yes, one of the reasons why you agreed to marry Silas was because of his money that would not only let you buy expensive raw materials but also allow you to have a space to make the machine in secret.
Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Colin left to see who it was, returning moments later with a huge box in his hand.
"Its for you." He set the box down and handed you the letter that came with it. You read the letter while the boys opened the box-
"Tomorrow. 7:30 pm sharp.
Dont be late, missus."
The "missus" part gave away that it was from Silas. What was he planning? Were you supposed to go to his place or was he going to pick you up? What was going to happen tomorrow?
"Woah! Who is this from?" Shepherd asked as he looked at the fancy dress in the box. He pulled it out of the box, the gown flowing down effortlessly. "It looks expensive- this is expensive, right? Its expensive." He stated before repeating his question to you. "Who is it from, Y/n?"
You folded the letter as you saw them all looking at you. "I... I might have a date-"
"With who?" Benjamin asked sharply.
"I-" You sigh. "I'll let you know after the date. Lets see how it goes first."
"Oh, come on! Just tell us!" Liam probed, but you took the dress from him, putting it back in the box and taking it to your room, not noticing how silent Colin had went.
-
You stood in front of the mirror, looking at your reflection while Ben did your hair. Wearing the black velvet gown that had a white blouse and long skirt underneath, puffy regency era sleeves and a belt at the bust, you looked elegant.
Seeing as you had no jewellery to pair the outfit with, Ben styled your hair down, curling the locks and putting a dainty black silk bow on the back, trimming the front of your hair so that they framed your face.
"There's a carriage waiting for you!" Shepherd informed you before going back to gushing about the rich fella you'd managed to bag.
You turned around for Ben for the finishing touches. He smiled softly at you, taking your hands in his and squeezed them gently.
"Dont force yourself to do anything you're not comfortable with, hm? Just because he gave you this dress doesnt mean he can do anything he wishes." You nodded, returning his smile. "And remember, you have me and the boys to beat anyone who upsets you, Y/n." He winked making you giggle.
Standing outside the carriage, you looked up and waved to the 3 boys standing in the window before getting inside.
"Ah, I hope she knows how to use that knife I gave her." Liam mumbled, making Shepherd yell at him.
"You gave her a knife?!"
"What? She needs to protect herself when there's a murderer on the lose-"
As the two continued to bicker, Benjamin went to his room and packed some scissors and razors in a small bag, before leaving the room.
"Where are you going?" Colin asked, finally speaking for the first time that evening. Sitting on the sofa chair, he'd been nursing on a drink the entire time you were getting ready for your drink. He kept quiet, pretending to be to engrossed with reading the paper to notice you getting dressed for your date night.
"I... have a client." Ben said, putting on his top hat and leather gloves before wearing his coat.
"This late?" Colin raised a brow.
Ben gave a nod.
"He... he needs a haircut urgently."
Colin stared at him before sighing, picking up his drink.
"Alright. Be careful. Its foggy out there."
-
Sitting inside the carriage alone, you wondered where the buttler was taking you. Since Silas isnt here with you, then its likely that you're being taken to him at the FitzGeorge estate.
You take a deep breath, fiddling with the velvet of your dress. So tonight will be the night he announces his marriage to you. Or maybe not. I mean, if he did plan on doing that then perhaps he'd be giving you some pointers on how to win over his family? To get their approval? It was a big thing for high society, if not for someone who is loosely attached to royalty.
Maybe thats why he called you over tonight. To soft launch you to his family, something like- "hey, this is Y/n, a girl I fancy. I think she might be the one." so that it seems a lot more believable when he does introduce himself as your husband, probably a few weeks or a month from now.
Yes. Silas doesnt seem like the type to just spring up the union on his family out of nowhere. He is English, he is noble, he wouldnt be one to cause a scene.
The carriage stopped after sometime, and you could hear people chattering outside. Your door suddenly opened, but before you could step out, someone stepped in.
It was Silas.
He sat across from you, wearing a formal dress black suit, his hair styled properly. If your dressing didnt give it away, then his did- it was definitely a black-tie event.
He gave you a nod of acknowledgement, looking you up and down.
"Here, wear this." He handed you a velvet lined box. Opening it, you saw a beautiful pearl necklace and matching tear drop earrings.
"Oh, this is... beautiful." You said in awe. "You could've sent this along with the dress, I would've worn my hair differently-"
"No, I didnt want to risk you running off with it." Silas casually insulted you as he began opening the door. "Wear this and dont talk to me or approach me in there."
"Wait, what?" You looked at him confusion.
Silas huffed in irritation. "I'm going to go back inside. You'll walk in after five minutes, and when you do, you will not talk to me, or approach me or do anything that gives away that you know me."
"Silas-" But he left before you could question what he was on about.
So... he wasnt planning on announcing his marriage to you tonight? Wearing the jewellery, you followed his instructions and exited the carriage exactly five minutes later.
But instead of seeing the FitzGeorge house, you were standing in front of a... palace.
A palace you're seen quite a few times.
Buckingham palace.
"What am I...?" You whispered to yourself before composing yourself as other guests began walking past you.
As you ascended the stairs to the entrance where guards stood, you wondered if they'd let you in. Surely, without Silas by your side or an official invitation, they wouldnt let you in. You watched a few guests holding an envelope with a royal seal, an invitation they showed to the guards before being let in.
Heart pounding as you feared the embarrassment you're about to face, you reached the guards who looked at you for a few moments, trying to recognise you before their eyes fell on your necklace and they let you pass.
Ah, so thats why he gave you the jewellery. If you looked like you belonged there, then you probably did.
Why am I here though?
You looked around and saw many people inside, all belonging from high society. This definitely wasnt the place where Silas was going to announce his marriage. So why did he invite you here?
Maybe he wants me to use this as an opportunity to get dirt on high society?
Yes, perhaps, but how would this serve him? Is there a specific person he wants me to get dirt on? Someone I need to write about in the papers?
Silas, what game are you playing?
You spotted him standing in the corner, talking with his cousins and uncles, though you noticed many girls looking at him. Of course, he still is the "most eligible bachelor" to them. If they knew how rude he was, maybe they'd change their opinion.
Walking through the crowd, you began listening on conversations, trying to pick up on interesting bits. It was the usual obnoxious bragging about their wealth, some scandals here and there, disturbing comments about women, etc. Nothing particularly interesting.
Fortunately, you werent bored for long as the royal butler announced the arrival of the hosts. It hadnt truly hit you where you were standing until you heard her name-
"Her Majesty, Queen Victoria-"
Queen Victoria. The Queen Victoria.
You could feel goosebumps raising on your skin, your eyes widening as you realised you're looking at one of the most iconic figures in history. Alive. She's alive and she's walking right in front of you-
She's short. They were right about that. Standing next to her husband, Prince Albert, she looked even shorter. But she looked incredibly happy, full of youth as she stood next to him, unlike all the paintings who depicted her as this angry old widow.
She looked absolutely beautiful.
Her children stood behind her in order, all smiling at their mother. Her daughters, you recognised them all, looked just as beautiful. You recognised her eldest, Edward VII, a 20-something old boy who would end up being hated by his mother and blamed for his father's death. He looked nervous, standing beside her and you could see he was just itching to leave her side and avoid any more scrutiny.
The Queen began speaking.
"Thank you everyone for joining us on this pleasent occasion." She looked around. "Tonight, we are going to welcome a member to our family, even though he has always been a part of us. But now, we will make things official."
"Silas FitzGeorge." She called suddenly. You saw Silas step forward in front of the queen, bowing his head curtly before looking at her confidently.
"You're my cousin Georgie's grandson, and I have no doubt when I say that if he were here tonight, he'd be just as proud of the young man you've become as I am. Our families may have had some issues in the past, but I have always accepted you as a part of me. Over the years, you've only proven me right with how capable you've become on your own, without seeking a helping hand in your adversities. You have made us all immensely proud, as well as your predecessors for being the first man in our family to attend Oxford university. Watching you start businesses and expand your empire, I have no doubt that you will only continue to make the royal family and Britian proud. Therefore, I would like to offer my support and make good on my promise that I made to you when you were a child."
She turned around and a servant handed her a document.
"I hereby make Silas FitzGeorge, the Duke of Westminster."
Oh. Ohhhhh. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh-
This was Silas's dukedom ceremony. Why is this a huge deal? Because his grandfather, Prince George was once estranged from the royal family and stripped off his royal duties and benefits when he married Sarah Fairbrother, which meant their descendents were all illegitimate and not recognised by the crown.
But tonight, with Silas becoming a duke, its like a welcome back to the family. That too, by the same woman who had in essence- ostracised his family.
And with Dukedom comes other benefits, money, property, influence. Not to mention that Silas has become the duke of Westminster, as in THE WESTMINSTER! One of the wealthiest dukedoms to get, and also where Westminster palace is, the place which is the meeting place for the Parliament of United Kingdom. It'll allows Silas to have a say and play around with politics.
This is a huge gesture by the queen, and if Silas wasnt the most eligible bachelor before, then he definitely is one.
You watched the queen sign the documents first, before giving it to Silas who signed it. Everyone cheered and clapped for the young duke before stopping as Victoria began speaking again.
"Now, I would like to share more good news." She smiled at Silas, who stood beside her now. "I would like to announce the new duke's betrothal to my daughter, Helena."
What?
The guests clapped again as you saw Silas looking ahead, purposely avoiding your gaze. The queen beamed as she looked back at Helena, who was blushing.
So this is why Silas didnt want you to talking to him. He knew he was going to marry Helena, and he didnt want anyone to even doubt that he's associated with you in any way. Is this his way of telling you that the sham marriage between you two has ended?
Victoria encouraged Silas to say a few words.
Silas looked down briefly, a small smile playing on his lips. "Oh, wow. I am grateful that her majesty has awarded me dukedom. I dont have enough words to express how thankful I am to you." He looked up and you saw a mischievous glint in his eyes. "However, I was only informed of this ceremony and not of my betrothal beforehand."
The queen's head snapped in his direction, as did all of the royals, but Silas continued speaking unfazed.
"I wish I had been told about this earlier to avoid this awkward situation uhhh..." he chuckled nervously, but you could see he was anything but nervous. "I am honoured to be even considered for the princess's hand, your majesty, but I'm afraid I am already married." He announced, looking straight at you.
The hall interrupted into gasps and whispers before they parted the way to let Silas make his walk to you.
With a charming smile, a dimple on his left cheek, he approached you, pulling you into his arms as he leaned down to press a kiss to your temple.
"Hi, sweetheart." He whispered loud enough for the onlookers to hear. Your eyes widened, your face flushed at the feeling of everyone's eyes and at his word.
"Si-" The words died down your throat as he placed an arm around your back and pulled you close to his side, showing you off.
"This is Y/n, my darling wife."
With Silas's announcement, the hall went silent once again. Your throat went dry at being put in the spotlight, and your eyes flickered from one guest to another, until finally falling on the queen's, who looked... pissed.
Finally, it was Prince Albert who broke the silence and announced dinner had been served. As the guests began walking out of the hall, Silas lead you out of the palace and to the carriage where his grandmother was waiting for you.
"Go home, now. I'll see you soon." Was all Silas said to you before whispering something to his grandmother, who beamed and nodded, patting his cheek.
"Come on, Y/n. Its getting late, now." Sarah said as she lead you into the carriage, taking her seat next to you, completely unaware of the eyes that had been following you since the moment you'd left home.
-
Silas returned inside, seeing his uncles smirking with pride at the game he'd just played but instead of going to them to celebrate his victory, he went to Prince Albert and Queen Victoria who seemed to be arguing in a low tone in the corner while the guests were being seated in the dining hall.
Clearing his throat, he got their attention.
"Your majesties, I am so sorry for not informing you about my union with Y/n. Its just my wife is terribly shy and we wanted to keep this marriage a secret. But I understand how this creates an embarrassing situation for the crown, and I would like to humbly turn down my dukedom-"
"No." The queen cut him off, her eyes void of any emotion. "The dukedom was awarded to you for your achievements, not because you were asked to marry my daughter. Helena is not something to pawn off to just anyone."
Silas offered a sympathetic smile. "Of course, your majesty. I'm sure you'll find a better suitor for the princess." He took his bow before turning around to enter the dining hall while Victoria stared at his back.
"Are you really still going to keep him as the duke of Westminster?" Albert asked his wife.
She was fuming. But only Albert could tell.
"What choice did I have?" Victoria asked, still glaring at the young boy who dared to play her. "If I took the dukedom away after announcing it publicly, it would've been a far more embarrassment for the crown. They would call us "cheap"."
"We cant let him get away with it." Albert whispered. "Its Westminster. We may rule it, but the duke will still be able to influence the government."
"You think I'm not aware he wants to play politics?" Victoria snapped, before softening her tone. "I wont let him get away with it, Albert. He's just a boy. I am a queen. I wont let him or anyone humiliate us."
Silas sat down besides his cousins as his uncles raised their glasses to him. He sipped his drink, a satisfied grin resting on his face. He knew exactly what he did. Even though no one actually told him that the dukedom came with marriage to the princess, because how callous would it be to ask him to marry her when no one would give up the opportunity of becoming the queen's son-in-law, Silas knew he was expected to marry Helena.
But no one said it. No one asked him. Its the English, they never say what they mean outright, choosing to read between the lines and do what is expected of them, because its more artful, more honourable this way.
Not that Silas could care about traditions. Why would he, when he planned on exacting his revenge?
The queen only came to offer her support when he became successful enough on his own. Where was she when his parents died and his sister was left to take care of him? Sure, Victoria attended the funeral and "promised" to take care of him. But she also said she'd only do that if he proved himself. His grandmother and his sister, Daisy were the ones who raised him.
And now, years later when he got into Oxford without using his family name, without saying "I am related to the queen", when he used his skills to create a powerful business empire that has the potential to influence the British industries, she wants him?
Sure, Westminster has its benefits, but Silas doesnt need Westminster. Westminster needs Silas. He could topple over the government and even shut down Britain herself with just his influence alone. Being a duke just has given him a public platform, an acknowledgement and most importantly, backing from the crown.
And you? Marrying you wasnt just because you happened to be around. Oh no. Silas has plans for you, plans to use you and further his revenge. This is just the beginning.
-
Sarah dropped you back at your place after you insisted that you needed to inform your flatmates of your departure. She gave you a disapproving look when she found out you were living with 4 men and was very determined to have you move in with her and Silas at the FitzGeorge estate, but you were able to persuade her to let you stay the night at home one last time.
"There's something I need to tell you guys." You fiddled with your thumbs as they all sat down in front of you.
"I um... I'm married."
"What?" Shepherd asked. "And you still went on a date?"
"I went on a date with my husband-"
"And who is that?"
You took a deep breath.
"Silas FitzGeorge."
Everyone except for Benjamin broke into laughter.
"Yeah, good one. Seriously, who is it?"
You frowned. "Seriously. Its Silas FitzGeorge."
As you began explaining your situation, even showing them the jewellery that you definitely werent wearing before you left, they started to believe you.
"Y/n- you cant- you cant marry Silas. You cant just marry someone you barely know!" Colin argued.
"What? Havent you heard of "love at first sight"?" You ask but he was unamused. Sighing, you shrugged. "Look, its a marriage that will benefit us both mutually. He gets people nagging him to get married off his back and I get to use his money and influence to get dirt on high society! Besides, I can leave him anytime I want."
"Then leave him now, before its too late." Ben said, standing up as he approached you. He took your shoulders and gave them a firm squeeze. "If its money you're worried about, I'll help you. I can provide for you, Y/n. Dont get into bed with these rich bastards, you dont know how selfish they can be. I- I- dont want you to get hurt-"
"I wont, Benny." You grab his arms, assuring him. "Silas and I are working together. If I go down, so will he. He wont hurt me, he cant. Its too risky for him now, you know? He announced our marriage tonight in front of the queen!"
As you began telling him about how you met the queen and all, Colin quietly left the living room to pour himself another drink, something to knock his brain out so he doesnt have to think about you and Silas.
-
Next day, before the sun even rose, you had packed up a few of your things to go live with the FitzGeorges. All the boys were awake at that time, though Colin's eyes were bloodshot from apparently drinking the wrong liqour, so he sat quietly on the sofa, watching you.
Liam and Shepherd took your bags to put it in the carriage waiting outside, while Ben pulled you in for a hug.
"I'm just moving out, Benny! I'll still see you guys." You laugh, patting his back.
Ben kissed the crown of your head before tucking it under his chin, arms tightening around you. "Just know that you will always have a home here, with us. Dont hesitate to reach out for help. And if Silas or anyone every hurts you, I dont care how rich they are, Y/n. I will take care of them. You just- just come back to us, hm?"
You pulled away from him, wiping a lone tear from your eye. "You're the best, Benny." You whisper before going to Colin, who just stared at you with red eyes.
Leaning down, you poked his cheek. "Kinda wish you werent drunk when I said goodbye, but I guess it makes it easier." Colin continued to stare at you. You grabbed his hand, smiling gratefully at him. "Thank you for everything, Colin. You saved me. Truly." You gave his hand a firm squeeze before leaving, missing him mumble something under his breath.
The carriage took you to the FitzGeorge estate and you were a little disappointed to see only Sarah waiting to welcome you. Its not like you wanted Silas to make a grand gesture to welcome his bride, but you were kinda hoping he was going to ease you into his world while explaining the events of the previous night.
Sarah showed you around the house before leading you to Silas bedroom.
"Cadbury has already placed your bags in there." She turned to you. "This will be your space too, so do make changes to the place as you please."
You smiled shyly at her. Honestly, you dont know whether Sarah knows that Silas only married you for personal agenda, but she wasnt surprised when Silas announced you were his wife.
Sarah looked at you and she placed a hand on her chest, touched.
"Oh, I am so glad you're Silas's girl."
Silas's girl?
"When Silas told me he married you, I was only mad that he did it behind my back! But I suppose it is understandable... these FitzGeorge men always liked to make a statement when it came to love." Sarah said, fondly remembering her late husband.
Sarah continued to gush about you enough for you to know that you dont need to kiss her ass. You have her approval.
When she left, you looked around the large bedroom, Victorian and dark academia was the aesthetic. Wooden panels lined the room, the shelves were stocked with thick books, a study table in one corner, an ottoman chest seat in front of the bed. The entire room was illuminated by the large windows that opened into the balcony, overlooking the large gardens and the cold air of London.
Standing at his balcony, you couldnt help but wonder...
Silas definitely has to HAVE a mega douchebag personality if this was where he was raised.
I mean who wouldnt have an ego trip if they woke up to a view like this, a butler named CADBURY who probably brings him his bland tea and tells him about all the proposals he had, and Silas would just wave a hand in dismissal, telling his butler to reject them all on his behalf.
Silas lived like a king. Or at the very least, lived like the 1% of Britain.
Returning back into the room, you looked at the interior before a grin formed on your face.
Time to snoop around, Y/n. You made your way to his desk.
Lets see what secrets you're hiding, husband.
-
Silas walked in on you folding your clothes and placing them in his closet.
"What do you think you're doing?" He huffed, loosening his tie. He was still in his clothes from last night, having just returned home after celebrating with his uncles and cousins.
You turned to him, faking enthusiasm. "Hello to you too."
Silas rolled his eyes, sitting on his bed. "Dont touch my things." He began untying his shoes.
"Why? You worried my poverty would taint them?"
He looked you dead in the eyes.
"Yes."
"Haha." You close the closet and turn to him. "We need to talk."
He looked at you miserably. "Cant it wait-" "No."
"Fine, then. Go on, I'm listening." He leaned against the headboard while you took your place on the foot of the bed.
"Why didn't you tell me last night that we were going to the palace? Or that you were going to announce our marriage?"
Tired eyes looked at you. "I didnt want to risk you getting cold feet."
Okay. Fair enough.
You gave him a nod. "Fine. Still would've liked a heads-up." "I'll keep that in mind for next time. Good night-" He began closing his eyes when you spoke again.
"No. We still need to talk about our situation." You looked at your lap, smoothing your dress before looking at him again, only to find his tired eyes studying you.
"Silas, who knows that our marriage is not... real?"
"It is a real marriage. We signed proper documents and all." He told you. "What you mean to ask is who knows our marriage is like mutually beneficial business deal? The answer is- no one, except for my butler and his wife, who wont say a word. And I want it to stay that way."
You raised a brow. "So... what exactly is the image you're trying to sell to the world? That we're a young couple, madly in love?"
He shrugged. "Sure."
"Silas." Your tone turned serious. "If you want people to believe this fairytale you're creating, then you need to get your stories straight. And involve me in it too!"
He tilted his head at you before sighing. "Fine. Lets say... we met two months ago."
"Where?"
He grinned. "Ballet theatre. Near Oxford university."
"Ballet theatre- are you trying to use your grandparents story?"
He shrugged. "So what if I am? Besides, people will love it."
You glared at him, but he continued on with his story. "So we met at the ballet theatre, you fell madly in love with me the first time you saw me. Your exact words were- "Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father, have I died and went to heaven to witness the utter beauty of an angel-"
"I have seen rodents looking better than you." You cut him off.
"You're ruining my story." He scolded you. "Fine, we can say that after you were mesmerised by my beauty, you stalked me for a few weeks until I finally said yes out of pity-"
"Silas."
He raised his hands in surrender. "Alright, alright. I'll leave the details to you, just remember- we met at the theatre. Thats the most important part of the story."
"Okay, I'll add my version of the events, which you can read in the papers in a day or two." You stood up, walking over to the vanity. "I will be going to work from tomorrow. I'll tell your grandmother I'm going to visit some friends, and you'll drop me off at my old place where I'll change my clothes and then I'll go to the office."
"Very well." He turned his head to look at you. "But after you're done writing about us, continue working on the White Chapel murders."
You hummed, turning around. "Dont worry, I should be able to get access to the letters in a few days. Wait- Silas, didnt you say your friend owned the paper I worked for?" He nodded. "Well, can you ask him if he could let me, I mean- assign Sherlock Holmes to work on the case? You could bribe him with giving an exclusive interview about your marriage for the papers, in return, he has to let me work the murder story."
"Consider it done." Silas said, putting his arm over his eyes.
"Um, Silas?"
"What?" He asked, annoyed.
"Where am I to sleep?" With Sarah in the house, its not like you can occupy another room. It'll raise suspicion.
Silas removed his arm to look at you, before looking at his large bed.
You shake your head. "I am not sleeping in the same bed with you-"
"I wouldnt want that either." He said, grabbing a pillow. Your heart warmed at the gesture. He really was going to leave his bed for you, like the true gentleman-
Thud.
You looked at the pillow he'd thrown on the floor.
"There." He pointed before returning to bed.
"You want me to sleep on the floor?"
With his eyes closed, he replied. "You say that like you expected me to sleep on the floor."
"Well-"
"Its my room, my bed. Why would I sleep on the floor?"
"I dont know, whats the word- chivalry?!" You huffed, grabbing the pillow and walking near the closed balcony window. It was cold but you'd rather sleep with a pretty view than to wake up to Silas feet landing on your face.
Muttering curses under your breath, you soon fell asleep with your back turned to Silas. A few minutes later, he got off the bed and dropped a blanket on your sleeping body.
And they say chivalry is dead. He thought to himself, returning to his bed.
-
The next day, while dropping you off to work, you brought up the previous day's convo.
"I need something." Silas's gaze flickered from the window of the carriage to you. "What do you know about Henry Blackwood?"
Silas' looked bored again. "He's a fellow businessman, invests in people rather than companies, likes to keep his operations in the dark, which means he has secrets. His shop blew up some time ago, allegedly a "technical failure" but... I think someone did it."
"You think so too?" You asked, hopeful. "Do you know who?"
Silas shook his head. "No. His enemies, like his operations are secret. All I know is someone did it to send a message to him, blew up the shop deliberately while he was out."
A message?
"I want to get dirt on him." You watch Silas raise a brow at you. "Just... get me close to him, or to his people. I saw him talking to your uncles, maybe they know something?"
Silas shakes his head again. "My uncles talk to anyone who has money. Henry wouldnt ever invest in them, they couldnt manage a business for the life of them."
"And you? Would Henry invest in you?"
Silas nodded. "He's tried. I wasnt interested." He cut you off before you could even suggest the idea. "And I'm still not interested. But I'll get you close to him."
"Thank you." You settled back in your seat before remembering another request. "Silas?"
"What now?"
"Can I have some money?"
"Here's a pound-" You glared at him, making him sigh. "How much?"
"Mmhm, oh I dont know... just enough to buy a small house-"
"And why do you need a house?"
You looked at him dumbfounded. "Well, when our marriage goes to the sewers, I would like to have a roof over my head."
"And what if I say I dont intend on ending this marriage?" Your blood ran cold at his words.
"What?"
Silas tilted his head at you before chuckling. "Why have you turned pale? If anyone should be horrified at the prospect of staying married in this mismatch, completely unbalanced relationship, it should be me. Struck down, caught out of the lake in his prime, of both beauty and brain-"
"Oh God, please stop talking before blood starts pouring out of my ears."
"So you agree your voice is irritating enough to do that?" Silas remarked smirking.
"Shut up." You flared your nostrils at him. Why does he have to ruin my mood this early in the day?
He chuckled victoriously, looking out the window. "I'll get you the house. You dont need money for it." He looked at you, already knowing you'd be confused. He grinned, pointing to himself. "Duke of Westminster-" he then points at you. "Duchess of Westminster."
Of course. Now that you're married to the duke, you have a whole lot of land in your hands. You really can have a house anywhere you'd like.
The carriage stopped. "Off you go now, wife."
Entering the office, you were first greeted by Will, the man in charge on working on the White Chapel murders.
"Holmes! How did you do it?" He shook you by the shoulder gleefully. "How did you convince the boss to post my story next?!"
I married his friend. "Oh, I just... promised him an article. Once I give him that, we can work together on the murder story."
He nodded, ushering you to finish off your article first before helping him.
Making your way to your desk, you spotted Colin. "Hey, Colin-" But he walked right past you, as if he didnt hear you.
Maybe he didnt. You shrugged, sitting down at your desk as you began writing down the news about you and Silas.
-
"Oh, Mr Holmes has definitely written most accurately about you Y/n!" Sarah said as she read the papers at the breakfast table. "He calls you the "fairest maiden in town" and "beauty with brains"- oh, I couldnt agree more!"
You smiled, sipping your tea sheepishly while Silas rolled his eyes. Its been 3 days since you wrote an article announcing your marriage to the world, and the editor decided to post it on Sunday, when you and most of London had off from work, all tuning in to read "how the most eligible bachelor bagged the fairest maiden in town."
Sarah ate some of the dishes you'd prepared today. "These are absolutely delicious, Y/n! Silas, your wife-" A maid came in to inform her that there's someone at the door to meet her. As Sarah excused herself, you got up from your seat to serve Silas the food you'd made on Sarah's request.
Silas picked up his fork and took a bite, a smile forming on his lips.
"Have I ever told you how good of a cook you are?"
You blushed, looking down. "No-"
"Then why do you keep cooking?" He dropped his fork on the plate, pushing it aside. "Stop using my kitchen." He smirked as he drank his tea, watching rage take over your face.
"Listen you twat-"
Sarah came back rushing in, a worried look on her face. Silas immediately sat up. "What is it, nana?"
"The- there was someone here from the palace." She gulped. "They sent flowers and a letter congratulating you two on the marriage. They... they said they'd like to meet Y/n and- and welcome the new couple officially."
Silas understood Sarah's worry. The palace never writes to them. In fact, the last time they did, it was years ago when his parents had died.
Getting up from his seat, Silas wiped his face with a napkin before dropping it on the table. "Then we'll let them. We shall host the Queen."
"Si-" But he took her by the shoulders, easing Sarah's worry.
"Dont worry. This is our home, nana." We have the advantage.
Silas left to start making arrangements for hosting the queen at the estate, while Sarah ran around the house with the staff to prepare for the event that is a week from now. Seeing as you couldnt be of use there and everyone was too busy to give you any pointers on what to say or act when the queen arrives, you left the estate to explore the town. Or more specifically, return to the blown up vintage store.
Yep, you're still hoping your time machine survived.
When you arrived on Regent street, you saw the same men still guarding the store, so they probably still wouldn't have let you in. But you also saw Henry, who was leaving the store and in his carriage.
Deciding to follow him, you sneaked into the back of someone's carriage and rode it before jumping off it when it got near Henry's carriage. Fortunately, you didnt have to follow him for long as he got off on Piccadilly street soon and strolled into a place called "The Gentlemen's Club" and from the looks of the daunting bouncers standing outside, you knew you couldnt just stroll in like Henry.
You watched the people who seemed to walk into the club, mostly men, all dressed formally and looked like they were a part of the high society. You saw some women too, though most of them dressed scandalously, so you assume they were there to provide entertainment.
As the sun began setting, more and more people started entering the club and just when you were about to leave, you saw Henry walk out of the club, a frown settled on his face. You werent expecting him to leave the club so soon, not when more people had started going in there, to rave or whatever. If Henry was here for pleasure, then he came out too early. If he was here for business, then most of the club goers have just begun entering, which means that whoever he wanted to conduct business with was already in there. Someone who works at the club... maybe even owns it?
As you turned to leave, you felt someone bump into you.
"Watch where you're going!" The blonde haired woman shrieked at you before crossing the street to go to the club.
You huffed. Everyone's got a giant stick up their-
You whipped your head around, feeling someone watching you. And thats when you spot it- a shadowy figure of a man, standing in the window of the club, on the second floor. Henry? No, he left. Then...?
The shadow didnt move, staring at you until it creeped you enough to make you leave.
-
Silas finally sat down after working all day. Cadbury brought him his evening tea.
"How are the preparations coming along?" He asked his butler. Cadbury informed him of the arrangements he's made and the guest list he's written down that needs his approval before he sends out the invitations.
"And the seamstress will come tomorrow to make a gown for Miss Y/n-"
Silas cut him off. "No need. Send the seamstress to me first. I'll let her know what kind of clothes need to be made for the event, then she can take Y/n's measurements."
"As you wish, sir." Cadbury said, but Silas could see something troubling the young butler. They werent that apart in age, and both of them had practically grown together, each reading the other person well.
"What's the matter, Cadbury?" Silas set his teacup down.
Cadbury took a deep breath. "Its just- I dont understand why the palace is suddenly coming to visit you, after what happened at the dukedom ceremony. It was certainly... humiliating for them, so why would they be coming to welcome Miss Y/n into the family?"
Silas grinned. "They're coming to see who I replaced the princess with." He picked up his cup. "They couldnt break me down, so they're going to try their luck with the missus. There's another reason why the queen is coming, but you let me worry about that."
Cadbury looked concerned. "Then we should prepare Miss Y/n to make no mistakes."
"Dont worry, she wont." Silas smiled, making his butler even more confused. "Speaking of, did you observe her when she was cooking in the kitchen today?"
Cadbury nodded. "Yes. And as you'd said, she didnt touch, let alone cook with bacon or wine despite my insistence that its your favourite. She replaced the meats, and didnt use any alcohol at all!"
Silas chuckled, his eyes gleaming with intent. "Perfect. Just as I'd suspected." He looked at Cadbury again. "Are there any leftovers from the food she'd made?"
"Yes. I was about to throw it out-"
"No. Bring them to me. I'll eat them. If Y/n asks, tell her you fed it to the dogs and then they got violently sick." Cadbury was confused as he left to bring him the food. He thought that Silas didnt like your cooking, at least from what he'd heard him say to you.
Oh. Maybe the young duke just doesnt want to acknowledge that he enjoyed your food.
-
A week passed by quickly and the day of the royal dinner came. You were freaking out because Silas had barely spoken two words to you about how to act or what to say, just telling you to act as yourself and he'll take care of the rest.
"What the hell...?" You muttered, watching your reflection in the mirror. Okay, you're not a conservative, but even you knew that this plunging neckline was a little too much skin for this time period, especially in front of the queen!
You were wearing a white satin and lace gown- wedding gown, if you were being honest. All that was missing was a veil, but you guess that would be a little too much on the nose. The dress was beautiful, no doubt, but it was missing a whole lot of cloth around the neckline, the tight corset making your chest puff out slightly more with a snatched waist. Your collar bones looked prominent, but you would credit that to the bland food served in London. Seriously, why do they act like vampires when it comes to adding garlic?
"Your husband had this dress designed specifically for you, madame!" The seamstress told you as she added her finishing touches. "He must love you a lot!" You resisted the urge to roll your eyes as you wore the jewellery he'd sent for you.
Yes. Thats why I sleep on the floor while he sleeps in his bed. Hope he suffocates under those plush sheets. My backache is the sign of our true love.
"Oh, who did that to your hair?" You heard a voice behind you and you turned around quickly.
"Benny!" You squealed, watching Ben, Liam, Shepherd and Colin enter your room. "Ah, I'm so glad you all came."
"Of course we did. There's free booze-" Shepherd smacked Liam on the back of his head. "We're here because we're happy for you."
"And because they wanted to see the queen." Colin said, rolling his eyes, making the other two bicker with him.
"How's Silas treating you? Are you happy?" Ben asked in a low tone as he fixes your hair.
Oh Ben. He reminds you so much of Qasim. "Yes, Benny. Silas is very good to me. I couldnt be happier."
Ben had a sad smile on his face as he nodded.
Just a few minutes later, Silas entered your room. "Y/n. Gentlemen." He nodded to them, before pulling you aside. "I need to talk to you."
You looked at him surprised. Silas was concerned. He was nervous about something. You've never seen him break a sweat.
"What is it, Silas?"
"The queen is onto us."
"What?"
Silas looked at you exasperated. "She knows about our sham marriage." He casted a look to the boys, who were pretending like they werent trying to hear what he was whispering to you. Silas pulled you close by your elbow to whisper. "I have a source telling me that the queen knows you... you're not a Christian. That you're a Muslim."
You pull back to look at him wide eyed. "How- how did she- how did you-?"
"I suspected, you confirmed it now. But she knows. And she's coming here tonight to expose us. If she tells everyone tonight, then she'll be able to take away my dukedom and she will make our lives hell!"
Your throat went dry. "What- what do we do?"
"There's a way." Silas grip on your arm tightened. "We get married for real."
You tilted your head in confusion before shaking your head at what he was implying. "Silas, no-"
"We get a Nikkah."
A Nikkah? If... if you get a Nikkah with him, an Islamic wedding ceremony, then you'll be married to him for real. No- no, the only reason you'd agreed to his proposal was because you knew it was a fake marriage, it didnt really affect your conscious because it was a sham! But-
"No. Silas-"
"Y/n, please." Silas pleaded. "Dont make me beg. If the queen finds out, everything I've worked so hard for, it'll be for naught. She'll take it all away. Dont you- dont you want to help catch the lunatic behind those murders? Dont you want to make a difference by writing? If you dont do this, if you dont stand by me, we'll both be done for!"
You looked at him conflicted, your resolve starting to break as he continued to talk. "My sister, my parents, my grandfather... my family... they need me, Y/n. They need me to pull this off, for me to reinstate our honour, for me to remove the stain and stigma from my family's name. Please, I'm asking you to do this for me... for my family." He swallowed thickly, his eyes boring into you with intensity. "You once told me you lost everything. I'm telling you now that I'll lose everything if we dont do this. Will you let me lose everything, Y/n?"
Lose everything? Everything?
You shake your head. "No, Silas. I... I wont let you lose everything."
10 minutes later, there was an imam in your room. Silas had somehow managed to find an imam in London to marry you two off. But you suppose when you're so rich and well connected, you can find anyone.
This is happening. This is really happening.
With Ben, Colin, Liam and Shepherd as your witnesses and Cadbury and his wife as Silas's witnesses, the imam began the Nikkah ceremony.
Am I really getting married?
You watched the imam ask Silas some questions, and you tuned them out except for one.
"Are you a Muslim?"
You looked up. A flicker of hope! Yes! If Silas isnt a Muslim, he cant marry you! The Nikkah wont happen, or at the very least wont be real because he's not Muslim! He cant marry you, this will still be a sham marriage, a paper marriage and your conscious will be clear and you wont feel like throwing up-
"Yes. I converted an hour ago." Silas informed the imam. "I took my shahada, in sound mind and state, of my own will without any pressure or coercion."
No. Oh no-
"Do you take Y/n to be your wife?"
"I do."
"Do you take Y/n to be your wife?" The imam repeated.
"I do."
"Do you take Y/n to be your wife?" He asked again.
"I do." And with that, Silas signed the Nikkah contract. The officiant then turned to you.
"With the agreed mahr, do you take Silas to be your husband?"
"Mahr?" You whisper in a daze. The officiant looks confused. "Do you not know what your mahr is?"
Mahr is a gift to the bride given by the groom. It is a symbol of the groom's promise to care and provide for the bride. You're more surprised that Silas even knew what Mahr is.
"It must've slipped my mind to tell you." Silas looked at Cadbury, who handed him a document. "For your Mahr, I give you Westminster palace." You looked at the document, he really had signed it over to you!
"Silas..." You say in disbelief, your hands trembling a bit. He smiled reassuringly at you. "You wanted a house. Here's one."
House? He gave me a palace!
"Do you take Silas to be your husband?" The imam asked you. You stared at Silas, at his content face. He didnt have to sign over a whole palace to you, much less one which he'd just gotten from the queen!
And he looked perfectly content with his decision. Not a shadow of doubt. He... he trusts you? Trusts that you'll maintain this union? Wont run out on him- wont betray him?
"I do."
Does he believe that this marriage will last?
"I do."
Does he trust you?
"I do."
You signed the papers, your eyes still in a daze as Silas smiles charmingly at you before pulling you close to hug you. You hear everyone clap around you as he leans down to whisper in your ear.
"Thank you."
-
Silas escorted you to the dining room where all the guests were waiting. You were still quiet and in a trance as you walked by him, with your hand around his arm.
He's surprised it didnt make you suspicious with how quickly he'd found an imam. Truthfully speaking, Silas knew you were a Muslim when he first proposed to you. He had his doubts, which were confirmed by his observations especially with your aversion to foods that were forbidden for Muslims. And yes, the queen had also found out about you being a Muslim, but only because he spread the rumour to them.
The Nikkah documents, the ceremony, the Mahr, he had already planned it the moment he found out that the queen was coming over. And the reason why he waited until the last minute to spring this out on you was so that you would be pressured into saying yes. He just couldnt risk you taking time to think this through.
You may still be under the impression that Silas chose you because it was circumstantial or whatever, but he chose you to be his wife precisely because you were a Muslim. Oh he has plans to use you.
You're everything the English monarchy hates, what it stands for. You're not prim and proper, despite your best attempts. You work, that too disguised as a man, and you're far too strong willed and determined to prove yourself unlike the British high society women.
He knows the crown wont be happy to have Muslim bride in the family, much less a Muslim duke who just so happily signed off Westminster palace to his wife.
A Cheshire grin graced his lips, which people mistook for glee for being with his blushing bride. He's going to have fun ruffling the queen's feathers. He's going to tilt the palace upside down.
Curtsying to the queen, Silas immediately noticed and took great pleasure in the queen's displeasure at your dress. Yes, he specifically chose a wedding gown that showed too much skin for the conservative monarch.
"Your majesty, this is Y/n, my sweetheart." Silas introduced you so lovingly, you couldnt help but be flustered as you avert your eyes to the ground.
"Its an honour to meet you, your majesty." You manage to say without throwing up.
Victoria casted one unamused look to you. "Very interesting choice for clothing."
Oh shit. Shit. Shit. She hates it. I knew it-
Silas's hand gently grasped yours. "Thank you, your majesty. I chose it for her after being inspired by a painting my love gifted me. Ah, let me show it to you."
You already knew it was the stupid portrait he was talking about, and you wanted to hide away into a corner as you saw the disapproval on the queen's face- God, she doesnt mask any emotion, does she?
The queen turned to Silas. "I have heard a rumour and I would like you to address it now." She said, glancing at you.
Silas nodded, leaning down to press a kiss to your temple. "Why dont you go and help nana with the guests? I'll be right with you."
Sarah was introducing to the guests, but your head was preoccupied with Silas and the queen. They are definitely talking about me-
"Y/n, this is Mr Blackwood." You stared at the familiar face. "Oh please, Sarah. No need to be formal with me." He smiled charmingly. "Besides, miss Y/n and I have met before."
"Well, thats wonderful! You two talk- I have to find my troublesome grandsons before they embarrass me!" Sarah left you with Henry.
"Congratulations on your wedding." He said with exaggerated joy, though his eyes expressed anything but that. "I'm sure he offered you a lot of money for putting up a show. I just wish you'd told me about it before."
"Excuse me?" You frowned. "I'm not putting up a show."
He raised a brow. "Really? You expect me to believe that a FitzGeorge wants to marry you? Out of the blue?" He throws a look to your gown. "That this wedding dress wasnt him trying to just convince the world that you're his wife?"
Your jaw ticked. "You're right. This dress is Silas's way telling everyone we're married. Because we were married on paper before, but I have an imam, 4 witnesses and a Nikkah document stating that Silas and I are married, both in the eyes of the law and God." You watched Henry's face fall. What use was it lying when he already heard of the rumours. Rolling your eyes, you turned to leave, only for him to reach out and grab your arm.
"Why are you doing this?" Henry asked you, looking for any signs of you lying. He didnt find any. "You know you dont belong with him-"
"Oh? I dont?" You snapped. "Who do I belong with? No, go on. Tell me."
He pulled you close, looking into your eyes. "Me. You belong to me. You know it, you felt it- we have something. We have-" He lowered his voice. "I can give you everything you want. Whatever you'd lost in my shop, I'll find it again. I'll travel the world for it, just- come to me. Leave Silas."
"That is the most pathetic thing I've heard come out of a man's mouth." You yanked your hand out of his grasp, walking away from him. The next time you saw him, he was busy talking with Victoria's heir- Prince Edward VII.
"Sweetheart, there you are!" Silas grabbed you, pulling you along. "I was just telling her majesty about how we met. You remember, love?" He shot you a knowing look.
You nodded, remembering what you two had practised. "Yes. We met at the ballet theatre near Oxford. It was love at first sight-"
"Ballet theatre?" Victoria's voice was sharp. Your heart dropped as you tried to follow up on your lie. See, this is why you two should've discussed this because its hard to lie on the spot!
"She's an amazing ballerina! Ah! I was immediately charmed by her art! She bewitched me!" Silas said cheekily and you wanted to smack him for saying "bewitched" because this is still Victorian era and sure, they dont have witch trials anymore, but why would he risk even the accusation when it is literally the queen's ancestors who had a major part in burning up "witches" in the 1600s!
Look, people back then were dumb and evil, which is a really bad combination.
"Is she now?" Victoria looked at you now, with those piercing eyes. "I would love to attend a show of yours. See what these FitzGeorges fancy so much."
Oh she knows. You can see it, hear it in her monotonous voice that she knows Silas is lying.
And yet this dumbass continues to lie. "Of course! We'll host you for... Christmas eve?"
As Victoria left, you glared at Silas. "Why would you say that?! I'm not a ballerina and you invited her to watch me dance? Do you want to get caught?!"
Silas tutted at you. "You worry too much. Its not that hard, you know. Besides, you have my grandmother to teach you. Ah yes, nana will love it-"
"Silas!" You stopped him. "I cant learn ballet in a month!"
"Not with that attitude-"
"We will get caught. You will be caught, and I will be embarrassed and- and- I wont let anyone make a fool out of me, Silas!" He pulled you into his chest, shushing you.
"I wont let anyone make a fool out of you either, Y/n." He pulled your head back to look at you with those deceptively charming eyes. "You carry my name next to yours now. You're my wife now, and by association, your dignity is my dignity now. I wont let anyone make a mockery of us, Y/n."
You looked up at him and you believed him. How could you not, when lying comes so easily to Silas?
He watched Sarah console you, promising to help you learn. Silas his his smile as he picked up his glass, enjoying his plan falling into place.
Ah, it would be a pity to see your heart break when the entire theatre laughs at you.
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Thoughts????
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