#for me I'd say... 6/10?
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If you have a real life person as your pfp, I don't care if it's Taylor Swift or something, my subconscious will assume you look like that irl. Sometimes my subconscious even assumes that I look like my pfp irl. And if your pfp is not a real life person... Tbh my subconscious still assumes you look like that irl.
You know what, tag yourself... How close in appearance do you think you are to your pfp? Interpret how you will
#for me I'd say... 6/10?#like. if you REALLY needed glasses and you weren't wearing them we'd sort look the same#tag game
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Another year's gone by, huh... I sure drew a lot.
I've been playing around with color a lot more this year.
#I was using my old template assembling this but I saw people I follow were using this one so I switched LOL#This year I had a streak where I was posting one art a day and it was like... for 6 months#You may think that's an incredible feat but really what was happening was early on circa May-#-on Saturdays I would neglect my health just to sit and draw for like 10 hours so I could dissociate from my life#And then I'd queue it all up so it wouldn't just be me spamming stuff on tumblr#It was the most unhealthy I had ever been tbh mentally and physically it was not good for me#I think... I think for like July 90% of the art was queued up from June because a lot of the stuff from June was leftover from May#What I'm saying is I'm glad that part of my life is over with now and for next year I hope that I never let it get like this again#It probably means you'll see less art from me but I see it as a good thing#Insanity Draws#Insanity of Mojiru#Summary of Art
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#just need to bitch about my new job for a minute#first of all - so lucky and happy to have a job i will say that#been unemployed for two months and i need something to pay the bills#but...the fucking 'no one wants to work' of it all is such bullshit#so this new company starts you at $13/hr#not great but considering i live in rural america it's way worse around here#they're remote but their definition of remote is that you can only work from your house no where else#you get two days off per week but it's not two days back to back#if you're full time you get extra holiday pay but there are no holidays off#if you're part time fuck you you just have to work#full time employees get 10 vacation days and 6 sick days#part time you just get so many unpaid hours off#like...i'm working part time because i'm hoping to get actual work in my field#but you're telling me if i was full time i'd get /16 days/ of paid time off per year?#but also i'm not allowed to go anywhere else while i work??#like i have family just out of state that i could pop over and see on a long weekend or even a short one#but i don't even have two days back to back so i just can't go see them without taking time off#and like...probably i can just use a vpn and it won't be a big deal#and i'm hoping this is a super temporary thing and i can actually use my degree#but like /fucking hell/ of course no one wants to work in conditions like this!#i know it's work from home and there are some perks to that but not enough to make up for everything else#also not them telling me during my interview that after training you don't have to be on camera#but during out first day today being told we have to 'earn the privilege'#bitch please it's fucking chat support#i am just so tired of employers thinking that it's a privilege for us to work for them#it's a privilege for you to have me honestly#oh and also if you run out of days off you don't get unpaid time off#they just start giving you strikes#like our trainer is really nice and great but also she's trying to sell this 10 days off as some kind of amazing thing#in the us that's /fine/ if you also get the holidays off!
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My dog has been having senior moments, such as randomly forgetting what she's doing or trying to walk into a street, and I've been calling her "Mr. President" when it happens.
Like, "No, Mr. President, we can't walk into oncoming traffic. That's how we get killed!"
#it makes me sad that she's so old. and it's only in the past couple months that she's been doing this.#she's still overall very physically healthy. we go on walks almost every day and as long as she wants to.#and she eats well and takes vitamins and her teeth are kept clean and her claws trimmed and her coat clean#but she's slipping a little mentally#she's 11 which is old as hell for a dog her size. the vet said golden retriever mixes (which is what i assume she is) usually live to 10.#and she's not even started going white too much. just around her snoot and a little on her paws.#so when i take her in the vet always assumes she's like 6#but I've had this crusty old lady since shortly before i was even legally an adult#and I'm scared for when she does die because my other dog dying damn near made me commit suicide#and like I've said. I've had her a lot longer.#if she were a person she'd be going into middle school. like.#and she's had her share of weird health things. she's had a thyroid issue since she was 4. she has a weird skin condition.#she's had a couple surgeries and has scars from being attacked by random dogs (not my fault. she's well trained)#she's fallen a couple times recently but the vet says that's normal for her age#she went blind then wasn't blind and is going blind again#her hearing is starting to get shit too#I'm just so worried about her. this dog is a person to me. she's more real than my family in my mind.#and my cat is cool and all. but she's not a people. she's just a cat.#i guess the best i can hope for her is she lives the rest of her life comfortably and can die peacefully in her sleep#i think I'd completely come unglued from reality if i lost another dog to surprise everything cancer#but that's what I'm most scared of#because it came on so quickly and no one caught it despite me being that person who takes their dogs to the vet over a cough#she's sleeping right now and making goofy ass dog dream sounds. and i know i won't hear that any more sometime soon.#dog#old dog#senior dog#clio#joe biden mention
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I forgot to live blog the rest of my reactions lol. Shit came up but, I did finish listening the album.
If I were to do a ranking off of the first listen I'd say:
Chk Chk Boom (easily the biggest banger off the album. Great production. Everyone sounds good for the most part. Phenomenal energy and it's definitely going to be in my regular rotation. Excellent choice for the title track.)
I Like It (Feels very classic boyband to me. I wasn't sure how I felt about it when it first started but, I go on board very quickly. Definitely also going to be in regular rotation.)
Runners (another bop. Some of the lyrics are cringey but, I can get past it. I always love high energy SKZ so, a no brainer)
JJAM (I'm going to be real, these might some of Stray Kids's cringiest lyrics lol. Outside of the chorus, it's a really solid and fun song though.)
Mountains (I put it under JJAM because JJAM had higher highs to me and at least took risks. I do like Mountains but, I do think it's not that exciting of a song.)
Stray Kids (very sweet and hearing them do the Stray Kids ablib made me emotional but, overall, it's not that interesting of a song.)
twilight (a beautiful song but, I'm not a big ballad person so, it unfortunately ended up last.)
#overall I'd give it a 6/10 right now#i liked it but stray kids definitely has better in their discography#I'd say Changbin is doing it for me the most this era so i give it to him but Jeongin is a very very close 2nd#if we cound slash it would be my second favourite song#trap stray kids >>>>#they should highkey do more trap music it suits them#the festival version of ccb slaps too#ate live blogging#rj talks
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My mom got home and immediately handed me an ipod classic and said "[Patient] told me her ipod won't hold a charge anymore, so I told her you might be able to fix it, or at least show her how to rip the music library onto her computer"
and I said . "I've told you to stop telling people I can help them with technology ."
And then I noticed the ipod actually still had a full battery (but I'm sure, like my barely functioning ipod classic, within a few seconds-minutes the battery would die), so I glanced through the menus, mostly because I still feel very nostalgic for using ipods & find the tactile buttons/audible clicking/whirring to be a lot more appealing than keeping music on a purely touchscreen torture nexus, but I was also curious about how recent the music this patient listens to is
So I said . "Oh hey, she has Rick Astley on here!"
And after a few minutes she goes . "I have that fucking Rick Astley song stuck in my fucking head." and I laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed
#erin talks#text#footnotes:#1) I do actually keep music on my phone; there's 8848 songs on it & my phone regularly informs me we have less than 10% storage left#& I say <3 eat my entire ass [company] . I've been using spotify in recent yrs so I can use my music apps for audiostories#2) I know you can replace ipod batteries but it requires shit like soldering wires & I don't feel comfortable trying that#& I think I'd have to drive at least 2 hours to find someone I could pay to do it for me . which would still run the risk of destroying#the components that aren't being mass-produced anymore & are difficult to find#3) I unironically like never gonna give you up & used to listen to it for fun when I was really little . same with careless whisper#4) I wasn't Trying to get the song stuck in her head or annoy her when I said it but it was a fun side effect <3#5) I tend to really like songs she hates from her days of working retail & songs being overplayed#my favorite mj songs are the ones that are like . the equivalent of if I had a kid & they loved new rules by dua lipa#I genuinely like them tho it's not me trying to torture her 😭#6) I know everyone born in the 80's onward has the whole 'parent tells ppl they can help with technology thing'#but this specifically is bc when I was like 12 my laptop kicked the bucket & I had to find a way to save 4000+ songs from my ipod#I was very proud that I figured out a solution & didn't have to redownload all that music but like truly all you have to do is google#to see if a program that can do what you want . plz don't tell ppl I can figure anything out let them think I'm a dumb vapid zillenial 😭
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OMGGGGGGG
the first kiss was so cute!!! perfect!! james was so sweet and gentle w her😍😭😭
can’t wait to see there dynamic from now on
Thank you gorgeous! I held onto this so I'd have something to post this last part to, hope you don't mind <3
part 1 | part 2 | part 3 │ part 4 │part 5 │ part 6 │ part 7 │ part 8 │ part 9 │ part 10 │ part 11 │ part 12 │ part 13
roommate!James x fem!reader ♡ 1.5k words
James is buzzing while he makes breakfast the next morning. Golden morning light pours in through the front windows, brightening the kitchen and warming his back where he stands in front of the stove, the buttery smell of pancake batter wafting up from the pan. He’d gone to bed later than usual last night and slept hard but woke jittery, desperate to do something about the commotion in his chest.
A run hadn’t done it, nor had replaying the previous night in his head, and now he’s convinced he won’t be able to rest until he can kiss you again. It’s your fault, really. Your little sighs, your careful touches, the way you’d tugged at the roots of his hair when he asked you to, like all this time you’d only been waiting for permission. You’ve fucked him. James will never be able to get over it. Now, all he can think about is getting more.
He’s made more pancakes than a family of five could eat when he hears the stair creak.
“Good morning,” he says, turning around just as you pad into the kitchen, quiet as a ghost.
Your eyes are bleary, but they still manage to widen slightly as you take him in, along with the precarious tower of pancakes beside him. You’re in that sweatshirt he loves so much, sleeves hanging limply from your hands and hem hitting just above your knees.
“Morning,” you say, softer than soft.
“How’d you sleep, lovely?”
You shrug, not quite looking at him. “Fine. You?”
James grins. “Beautifully. You want some pancakes?”
Your gaze goes again to the stack beside him, and he can practically see the quip brewing in your eyes. Doesn’t seem like I have much of a choice. Are you planning to feed an army?
“Sure,” you say in that same quiet voice. “Thanks.”
James studies you, intrigued. “Great. C’mere, sweetheart.”
He plates up a few pancakes, keeping one eye on you as he does. You seem disinclined to look even in his general direction, finding distractions with the stove, your plate, the weather outside.
“How’s this?” He turns around with the plate. You take it cautiously, by the complete opposite end to avoid any possibility of making contact with his hand. James’ heart warms at the way your fingers just peek out from the sleeve of your sweatshirt to grasp the plate. He wants to kiss you until you don’t know what day it is. “Too many? Not enough?”
“This is good.”
“Yeah?” He doesn’t let go of the plate. He tilts his head, trying to catch your eye, but you evade him. He has a hunch that if he were to touch your face (and god, does he want to) he’d find it burning hot. “Are you alright?”
Your eyes flit up to his for a half a second before fleeing again. You hum, the sound tense and pitchy. “Mhm.”
“You sure?” he asks, matching your soft tone. “Don’t go getting shy on me now.”
You look like you stop breathing.
And ordinarily James might feel bad, but post-kiss James cannot be prevailed upon to treat you as cautiously as he ordinarily might. Unfortunately for you, your secret’s out. You’re lovely, you’d said, voice soft and breathy and mere inches from his own mouth, I like having you around. I do. I really like you. Also unfortunately for you, post-kiss James knows things.
He slips his palm alongside your face, working his hand behind your ear and letting his fingers burrow into the hair behind it. You melt, leaning into the touch. Your eyes meet his.
It’s grueling work to keep from smiling. “What’s wrong, angel?”
“Nothing’s wrong,” you say, still quietly but now with more of yourself in your voice.
“Really? Because you’re acting like we’ve just met.”
“Don’t you—don’t things feel different to you?” You seem almost distressed, eyebrows hooking upwards just slightly, pretty eyes imploring. Your voice softens again, now more with intimacy than reticence. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to talk with you about.”
James lets his smile loose, thumbing at the skin behind your ear before letting you go. “We can talk about anything you want,” he says simply, grabbing his own plate and leading you into the living room.
You’ve got a perfectly good kitchen table but almost never use it, each preferring to eat your meals on the couch. He flops down, careful not to tip his pancakes onto the cushion as he crosses his legs underneath him like you’re at a sleepover.
“So, have any fun dreams last night?”
You smile. It’s as heart-stoppingly lovely as always, and James thinks his own probably doubles in magnitude in response.
“A couple,” you admit.
“Oh? What about?”
Your smile goes sheepish, bottom lip slipping in between your teeth as if to impede its progress. You fork clinks against the plate as you start cutting up your pancake.
James’ brain short-circuits.
“You were in my dream,” he blurts.
Your eyes flit up to his warily. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. It was one of those weird, super vivid dreams where nothing really happens, you know?” You seem to relax a bit. James douses his pancakes in syrup, starting to cut them up as he talks. “We were here, and someone had spilled something on the rug—probably Sirius, to be honest—and it made this huge stain. I’d tried to pour baking soda on it, but the whole box had collapsed and it got everywhere. We were both sitting right there scrubbing with literal toothbrushes, and I think I was worried you’d be upset with me but you were just laughing.” His heart warms at the pseudo-memory, the hazy feeling of contentment that had permeated the dream. The sound of your laugh, exactly as sweet as in real life. “Your hands were totally covered in baking soda, and the rug was ruined, but we were both laughing our heads off.”
You’re smiling again, a small, knowing thing. “Had you said something to make us laugh?”
“No,” he says honestly, “I think it was you.”
James is aware that he’s barely functioning. It’s almost too much to talk and cut his pancakes at the same time while you’re looking at him like that, like he’s the loveliest thing you’ve ever seen. It makes it both a relief and a disappointment when you drop your gaze.
“Do you think the stain might’ve been a premonition?” you ask.
He raises his eyebrows. “How do you mean?”
You laugh, and he’s instantly spellbound, caught somewhere between fantasy and reality. It takes him a second to realize you’re touching the edge of his plate, tipping it up. James looks down. It had been nearly falling off his lap, his pancakes cut up into tiny pieces and syrup pooled near the rim.
You look up at him, seraphim with the morning light brightening your features and the hint of a smile playing on your lips. He thinks of how soft they’d felt on his the night before, the way they’d fallen open like welcoming him home.
“You were almost spilling syrup onto the rug,” you say, that rare and beloved teasing lilt to your voice. “It would’ve taken more than baking soda to get that out.”
“See?” he asks. “You know how to talk to me just fine.”
You look surprised, then self-conscious, though not nearly as bad as when you’d come into the kitchen a few minutes ago. He covers your hand with his to keep you from going anywhere. Sets his plate on the coffee table.
“Can I kiss you?”
Your eyes are wide. “Again?”
“Yes, again,” James laughs. “And again after that, preferably. Only if it’s okay with you.”
You shake your head, looking something akin to bewildered. “Yeah. Yeah, please.”
He starts to lean toward you, and you meet him halfway. Already, it’s a bit different. There’s no tentative stillness, no slow yielding. Your lips are pliant and eager, parting and closing around his like you’re trying to get as much of him as you can. Your fingers wind in his hair without instruction, and James responds by placing his hand in that spot you’d seemed to like it so well last night, the material of your sweatshirt soft beneath his touch. You taste like his pancakes, the syrup sweet on your tongue.
“Keep talking to me,” he murmurs, kissing the corner of your lips worshipfully, “okay?”
Your voice is breathless. “Why?”
“Because I like you.” He tugs at you, wanting you closer. “And I think I’ve put in the work for you to warm up to me, if it’s all the same to you.”
You make a tiny, amused sound. “Fine,” you say. You grow bolder, kissing your way up his cheek, the top of his eyebrow, until your nose is nestled in his hair and your lips are caressing his forehead. “Consider me warmed.”
James grins, unable to help himself. He thinks that becoming your friend didn’t go quite as he planned, but he feels as though he won in the end.
#roommate!james potter#shy!reader#roommate!james potter x shy!reader#james potter au#james potter#james potter x shy!reader#james potter x reader#james potter x fem!reader#james potter x y/n#james potter x you#james potter x self insert#james potter fanfiction#james potter fanfic#james potter fic#james potter fluff#james potter imagine#james potter scenario#james potter drabble#james potter blurb#james potter one shot#james potter oneshot#marauders#marauders fanfiction#marauders fandom#the marauders#hp marauders#marauders x reader#marauders au
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i want to do 10 things at once but my body says lie down and pass the fuck out.
#frustrated bug noises#it's. 5 pm.#the no bitches meme but my body @ me with energy#body says no#brain says no#i can't even take a nap those don't work for me#cursed to just ride it out#for 6 more hours cries pathetically#trying to laugh about it because otherwise i'd get too frustrated right now#i wanted to doodle and read and finish writing a silly little thing but my brain is fuming and i can't#even focus on anything#huuuuGHHH#i have like. 5 WIPS and 10 different ideas but if i can't then it's all useless and i'm staring into space and#thinking about it is hard because i want to be doing it instead#melts into the ground and fades from existence
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(BEWARE: LONG ASS POST AHEAD. LITERALLY 3500 WORDS. IT TOOK ME TEN WHOLE MINUTES TO READ OVER AGAIN, AND I WROTE THE DANG THING. AND BEWARE THE GIFS IF YOU'RE ON MOBILE. SORRY)
ok here's the cornplating essay of all my thoughts:
1
CHARACTER & DIALOGUE ANALYSES (aka, vi v. silco):
we know that this is vi's childhood home. how betrayed vi must've felt to see that huck literally led silco, vi's NUMBER ONE OPP, to the only place she felt comfortable being, were she to have died from sevika's stab. it's no wonder she calls him a "filthy traitor" when she sees him in s2 -- yes, he helped cait get the potion to heal vi, but he also did so just to sell them right into silco's hands.
silco dangling the shimmer above the homeless, and laughing at their desperation -- THIS is what silco wanted to make of zaun!! at this point, he wants zaun's independence so that people like caitlyn will stay out of his business as he exploits pretty much anyone he can get his hands on, and he does so by targeting the vulnerables -- homeless here, kids in his shimmer factory. idk how to tell y'all this, but silco represents all of the billionaires that we hate in IRL society -- yes, he may love jinx, and may be an appropriate father figure to her. doesn't mean he's not #1 opp for the entirety of zaun.
"vander's prodigy" -- his FIRST WORDS. do you notice how silco is taking out his years-long grudge with vander against a GIRL? one who just got out of prison for 7 years, having been wrongfully thrown in? he's grown to hate vander, he hates vi because of her association to him and bc she protected him in the cannery, and NOW he hates vi bc she is the only person capable of unlocking powder from out of jinx. that's why he freaks out so badly when he hears she's back ("from the dead?!?!!" (s1e4)). he knows that jinx could lose her loyalty to him, if she realizes that her sister never intended to leave her in the first place.
(i'll never not believe that silco was a narcissistic parent to jinx -- he loved her, but in a very fucked-up way. he purposefully tried to separate jinx from vi. JINX FROM VI, BASICALLY HER MOTHER FIGURE FOR HER CHILDHOOD. all bc he holds a grudge against vander. he cherishes jinx's loyalty to his "cause" (exploiting the undercity for his and his friends' personal gain) more so than he does being her father.)
"what have you done with my sister?" "i freed her...she's more than i ever imagined" -- like i said, silco's a big, fat narcissist. parents "imagining" lives or jobs or roles for their children is a pretty narcissistic thing to do. truly loving parents would support their children in whatever they choose. only narcissists try to pigeonhole their own children this hard into roles they never wanted (jinx specifically rejects the "zaun's hero" role in s2). IN CONTRAST -- vi never imagined anything for jinx's life except that she'd have a better one ("i want powder to have more than that and i'm willing to fight for it" (s1e2))
(PARALLEL SCENE TO ABOVE -- jinx approaches silco after having stolen the gemstone, and hugs him -- silco's gaze shifts from jinx to the gemstone, and then back to jinx. he's also trying to figure out which he cares for more. this is where the "is there anything so undoing as a daughter?' line comes from -- he's trying to figure out what to do. and pls correct me if i'm wrong, but i don't think we ever get a definitive answer on this? he negotiates a free zaun with jayce, and then jinx kidnaps him, etc. ...)
"i'm gonna find her, and erase whatever fucked up delusions you put in her head, but first? i'm gonna bring your bullshit empire down all around you." -- BUCKLE UP. this is the line from these scene: 1) vi specifically states that her first priority is to destroy silco's empire. she's known that he is evil and exploitative and cares little for the people of zaun, except as possible puppets or workers. in fact, she's known this for seven years, and apparently so does the rest of zaun. ("he worked for silco?" "uh, they all do, how does anyone not know this?" from caitvi stillwater scene). she's been worrying after her sister for seven years, and even still, she understands that silco IS the kingpin, the hingepoint, the KEY to all the shit that happens in zaun. if vi had it her way, she would've killed silco first before reuniting with her sister (this might've messed up jinx more, but vi hasn't seen jinx & silco's relationship yet, so she dk), but the flare switches her plan, and she MAKES GOOD ON THE PROMISE SHE MADE YEARS AGO. 2) vi knows silco's character, and that's why despite not having seen the man for seven years, she knows that he's groomed jinx into sharing his own opinions and forcing her into his cause. the cannery ensures that vi knows silco likely better than most of the undercity does, and that's exactly why she loathes, abhors, hates him so much. 3) i will never understand the people (including vi defenders) that say "vi never cared about zaun". HELLO?????? she DOES. tell me ab these quotes from vi -- "why? they've [piltover's] got plenty while we're down here scraping together coins. when did you get so comfortable living in someone else's shadow?" (s1e1) // "why answer to them? these are our streets, someone should remind them of that!(s1e1) // "they won't stop! we need to fight back. and if you won't, i will" ... "what i don't understand is how you [vander] can work with them!! [enforcers]" (s1e2) // "what? you wanna negotiate with him? this is insane, did you learn NOTHING? you can't talk to him. he hates you, everything you stand for. he will never back down." (s1e8) // "you [jayce] wanna make silco pay for what he's done?" ... "silco controls the undercity with shimmer. shut down his supply, and it's only a matter of time before his own people turn on him." (s1e8) // "you've always been a part of this. you just never had to look it in the eye. one dead kid? there's hundreds more where he came from, thanks to silco and thanks to people like you, who stuck their heads in the dirt." (jayce: "this is over.") vi: "not for me." (s1e9). tell me -- why does she beat up the jaw guy in prison? bc he works for silco, her #1 opp and part of the reason zaun is suffering so badly. tell me -- why does she accompany caitlyn to the council hearing? bc she's hoping that they will listen to a zaunite's perspective and will actually do something about it. tell me -- why does she find jayce to go destroy the shimmer factory? bc she understands that that's the way to take silco's empire down. 4) this is why no one should be surprised that vi joins cait's strike team in s2 - vi would love nothing more than to destroy anything & everything related to silco's empire. what was cait's plan? jinx, shimmer, agents loyal to silco. the jinx part hurts, yes, and her wearing the enforcer badge is a little iffy, but if it helps her to eliminate shimmer and silco's goons? the things that she witnessed ruining the undercity when she was 15? sign vi right up. if that's what the badge stands for now, she'll wear it (i guess?). (also, reminder that vi's champion title in league is literally "vi: the piltover enforcer"). 5) in summary, vi is just as much a firelight as ekko is bc she has ALWAYS fought to protect people from shimmer and silco. (who do you think ekko learned his sense of justice from ????!?!?!?!?!!?)
"you don't know your limits, girl. it's what got vander killed, it's what drove your sister away, and it's why i'm here right now." -- silco acknowledges vi's power. that's why she's his #1 opp - because she's one of the only people that can truly stop him (by stopping jinx from helping him, but also by beating his goons and then HIM up). silco, ever the lying manipulator, tries to pin all the blame, all of vi's guilt and shame on her power, in an effort to suppress it. he knows if she can't separate her power from her guilt, that she won't want to engage with it at all. luckily, vi doesn't give him any credence, bc like i said earlier, she knows silco's character. "yeah well -- you talk to much." QUEEN SHIT
2
FILMOGRAPHY ANALYSES:
zaun's "savior" - this could be a reach, but seeing as this show has a LARGE number of other christian allegories (jinx's baptism; viktor in season 2), i think vi's first view of silco after years being posed like THIS is a reference. silco hands shimmer to the vulnerables as if he is providing them salvation. his dialogue confirms this - "i freed her", right as he releases the shimmer into their hands - he would think himself jinx's savior (again, narcissism).
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vi and silco are intentionally framed as being at odds. a couple examples:
they're obviously framed as enemies here, but it's one versus 5, or 6, or more. vi is strong on her own (cait is behind her, but not in frame); silco is only strong in how many people he can manipulate to serve him (sevika & jinx both acknowledge this in s2e2 - sevika: "i can't believe you're [silco] dead, and i'm still mopping up your messes". // jinx: "big baby couldn't do it himself." sevika: "couldn't do much himself. about now he'd have me all over the lanes, running his collections" jinx: "building his weapons" "making his deals" "exploding his enemies")
vi approaches him (again, knowing her power) and later, silco lets the shimmered, new goons approach her (his inherent weakness). the camera is angled to let us see how puny silco is when compared to vi's fist, and she clenches "him" in her grip
wide shot, with vi and silco at either end, silco left, vi right. vi's in the light - good, illumination. silco & his goons are in the dark - evil, concealment. the border btwn light & dark falls perfectly down the middle. dare i say - vi and silco are also foils? and guess what that shot transitions directly to? jinx, the subject of the dialogue, the subject of both of their affections, the girl who is literally on the fence/border/edge of choosing between these two. notice how symmetric jinx's shot is? she's not sure which half of her being is correct, true, honest.
jinx walks up to the edge, takes a look left at the gemstone (silco's side, his plan/cause), and right at the flare (vi's side, as her protector, with zaun behind it) that she was given YEARS ago. clearly, she always held on to some smidgen of hope that vi was still out there. AND WE ALL KNOW WHAT SHE CHOOSES -- that's why this scene is so powerful, because we see the two people jinx loves most in the world being at odds in every possible way, and whom does she choose? her sister. to roaring, swelling, beautiful music and filmography
jinx is also right at the edge, at a physical precipice, representing the metaphorical precipice. she seems to live dangerously like this (her airship base having no protections whatsoever). we see both jayce and viktor in similar positions, after they think their lives are over, and that they've lost all agency. the twist is -- this is one of jinx's ultimate acts of agency. silco, or vi? and she chooses vi. her power in this choice is shown by her physical height, in this world (which plays into the extreme zoom out later) -- she is at the utmost power/has utmost agency in this moment, to show who she loves more, and who she seeks.
match cuts from caitlyn looking up -> jinx looking down -> caitlyn looking back up -- match cuts between these two are WAY more common throughout the show than you might think. showing them both as foils -- caitlyn tries to target the systematic/institutionalized issues by hitting at their core/root (why she's willing to go down into the depths of the undercity in the first place), and jinx tries to escape them by ascending above, by distancing herself (vi wouldn't have either of them any other way, btw)
shimmer barefoot shot -- STAY WITH ME -- some would say that this emphasizes the "brutish"-ness of these new shimmer-transformed mutants (? idk right word), but i'm simply reminded of hitchcock's Psycho (1960), and how we only know that slashes actually landed because of the way we see the blood fall around the woman's feet. bare feet are a sign of vulnerability, again reinforcing the fact that silco targets the most vulnerable in his community to do his bidding
vi turns around (which gets a double shot, one of them an extreme close-up, if you look closely), turns away from silco's lying words and does what she knows best: punches, at the base of the rebar -- it pings upwards, and topples the whole building. this is exactly her power - she finds the hingepoint (silco), and strikes at it directly, literally "bring[ing] [silco's] bullshit empire down all around [him]". SHE MAKES GOOD ON HER PROMISES.
for the first time, silco is forced to look upwards, at the metaphorical empire he's built, and how easily it can be toppled by one singular girl.
the blank, black screen - they knew they had an emmy-winning scene. the blankness (except for music chords) is like a visual palate cleanser - it primes us to pay full attention to whatever happens next. the silence does the same - our ears are also tuned in, perked up, etc., just to see what audio cues they drop on us.
the framing of jinx's three shots right before the climax -- they look like they were animated, and then deliberately flipped upside down, which i love. jinx is about to have her entire paradigm of life, her entire worldview shifted, based on how this effort goes. she's choosing vi, and that's about to flip her entire world upside-down, bc for the last seven years, all she's been told about is how her sister left her. the gemstone is now no longer visible, despite having been in her hand just moments earlier. extreme close-up as jinx replays vi's words, showing that she's making her decision.
immediate flip to right-side-up medium shot --> BEAUTIFUL, expertly done zoom out to ULTRA WIDE establishing shot, to all of zaun, with jinx at the center. this is no longer a family matter - what happens in the next act will affect all of zaun. she is the key, she's the true hingepoint of zaun (which we see play out in s2). jinx's blue hair, and then flare, are the only real bits of color, aka of life.
match cut of vi & silco in same position, facing opposite directions (silco left, vi right, again) -- still opps. also, vi has people she can actually rely on (cait helping her up), while silco is virtually alone, without his status as zaun's druglord dictator.
orbital shot around jinx (2 clips stitched together) - another film way of saying that everything in the rest of her life (AND the rest of the plot!!!) LITERALLY revolves around her. this is a life-changing decision. ghosts of mylo and claggor remind her of the life she once knew (as do the film scratches/bits of her psychosis), which she is actively calling back by lighting the flare.
shaky cam going in & out of focus, showing the wildness of silco's blind rage (3 clips together) -- again, this is his true character. he slaps his henchman (like all villains don't hesitate to do), kicks a homeless guy to death. he's mad bc vi has outsmarted him, escaping his attempts to remove her permanently
the purple sign flickering (silco's empire is crumbling around him) cuts to the spotlights that the enforcers have set up on the bridge -- all is about to be illuminated to piltover (silco's villainy, marcus'/enforcer corruption)
cait & vi like bullets, then shooting out of whatever tunnel thing they were in - they are the sniper's shots that could take out silco & his empire. however, they don't know that marcus is waiting exactly to take them out.
overhead, wide-angle shot of silco standing in the midst of the "eye" of the sign -- again, all is about to come into sight, to be illuminated (one of the brightest shots of this whole sequence, may i add? my laptop is BLARING at me alskdfjsalkfja)
the walls of silco's empire may have crumbled, but marcus is erecting new ones, right at the border into piltover. silco's empire has spread far enough that one loss does not ensure defeat (but, cait & vi don't know that yet)
3
MUSIC/LYRICS:
i clipped the original video based off of when "guns for hire", the song, started and stopped playing. this scene is literally cut to the music.
chris cornell has a pretty good youtube vid where he breaks down the chords of this song, as well as a few others.
i'll give my rudimentary musician's analysis:
despite us basically hearing the instrumental to the chorus from the very beginning of this scene (without the full drama of the strings), we never resolve to the major key until the climax, when jinx pulls the flare. our brains are smart - intuitively, we all know (we've heard in numerous other songs) that a minor key has an equal relative major, yet, up until the climax, the backing music tricks us into thinking we'll just stay in the minor key the entire time. the reason the song is so eargasm-y & chill-inducing is bc we finally go there - we resolve this minor verse and pre-chorus into a decidedly major chorus climax. they visually and sonically give us so much space (and of course, a classic violin, high-strung high note to add tension) right before hitting the climax -- again, prepping us for some massive release, which they FLAWLESSLY deliver on, with such a visually and aurally FULL climax.
(in the actual song, there's a bass pedal tone and then the violin to deliver the tension, the expectation of release)
additionally, right as vi punches the tower, we hear the music sort of bend downwards a half-step - something that also tricks our brains into expecting the resolution back up the half-step, to the key we started in. it gives off an eerie feel.
right at the climax, the violins are in an ascending line, one that peaks at "world's", in the lyrics. the bass is simultaneously dropping, and staying low. the simultaneity of those two creates the "swelling" adjective so often used to describe music. the beginning of the climax is still slow enough (fastest moving notes are the eighth notes in the cello, which provide us with a sense of motion)
second run-around of the chorus is in has another set of violins going in double-time (arpeggiated sixteenth notes). it matches the beginning of silco's tantrum, builds tension as we begin to wonder if vi will even see the slare.
then it drops as the chorus ends, and we're back to the "bare bones tracks" of the piano instrumental, and a high violin tone, and twangy bass (? idk). repeating measures in music often signal either a build-up or a resolution, and seeing as we've already hit the clear climax, this must be the resolution! and it is :)
i swear not enough people care enough to look up the lyrics to this climactic, cathartic, release of a song. literal eargasm EVERY time, regardless.
"kiss your perfect day goodbye" - jinx flare scene - jinx is decidedly choosing to disrupt the status quo, which, honestly, had been working out for her pretty well. silco rage scene - he's lost his chance at eliminating vi, his #1 opp.
"because the world's on fire" - vi and silco at odds, still. enforcers at bridge scene - everything's fucked up - enforcers are working under a corrupt sheriff, silco's empire threatened, and vi & caitlyn now have to warn piltover as quickly as possible.
"tuck your innocence goodnight" - jinx orbital w/ mylo & clag ghosts - she lost her innocence the night she accidnetally blew up the cannery, but she's willing to revisit it now, in hopes of vi showing up.
"you sold your friends like guns for hire" - obviously this can bc about huck selling caitvi out for shimmer, but it's also about silco! he doesn't really have any friends - he only has mercenaries, "guns for hire". he lost his friends the moment he chose to let his rage and grudge fester instead of figuring out how to forgive vander. also! "right as your marionettes cut their strings and run away" is a lyric later in this song that goes right along with the idea that this line pertains to silco.
"go play with your blocks" - referring to childlike innocence (vi & jinx lost long ago), or false illusions of grandeur (silco's dreams of his zaunite empire).
"and now you'll pay when these walls come tumbling down" - again, everything will be illuminated, and that'll hurt literally everyone involved. the corruption was sealed long ago.
keep in mind! this is all a culmination of editors, storyboard artists, animators, musicians, and writers, who clearly must've communicated over and over again on exactly how they wanted this scene to go down, on what tone they wanted it to have. and it delivered, in every possible way. beautiful in every single regard.
~~~
i should just make a youtube video using this as the script, shouldn't i. 😪😪😪
full guns for hire scene
bc i feel like people only ever talk about the climax! the climax is GOOD because of all of the musical, tonal, and character buildup*
#vi defender on main I DON'T CARE#i scored a 5 on the ap lit exam exactly so i could come for all the idiots who lack media comprehension#i'm also no film student but i DO know a thing or two!#i'm sure others have had similar thoughts but the only creator's thoughts i've seen on this scene is schnee on youtube#6 hours just for a tumblr essay......🚬🚬🚬 this should've just been a youtube video#.....#yes i used an online mp4 to gif convertor. and what about it?????#RIP TO ANYONE ON MOBILE#how many times can i say “vi; silco's number one opp”#i love caitlyn bad but this whole scene she did nothing except give vi a very smart idea. like go queen give us nothing#all in all i DO think it's important to analyze this scene as a whole soooo many people just watch the climax#but SIR. how are you going to APPRECIATE the climax without the build-up?!?!!?!?!!?!?!?#not me originally saying i'd write this up after dinner 💀💀💀 girl the demons would get to you !!!#arcane#arcane season 1#vi arcane#vi character analysis#silco character analysis#guns for hire#jinx character analysis#......on a scale from 1 to 10. how obvious is it that i'm currently unemployed
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Post Tension | Charles Leclerc x McLaren! Reader
Summary: Back in the same country, Charles realises that the most important thing isn't winning; it's that he was wrong.
Warnings: Swearing, female reader, Verstappen! Reader. Tooth-rotting fluff.
This is the final part!
Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3
Main Masterlist
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YourUserName something in the orange tells me we're not done
7,956 comments
User 1 excuse me, miss thing?!?!
User 2 not miss verstappen posting this on media day when charles and her were spotted in the background of each other's interviews
francisca.cgomes that silhoutte pic is serving 🔥
User 3 just me or does that bear have a ferrari hoodie on
User 4 he is not the love of your life. he is literally just a guy. hit him with your car
→ User 1 nah 'cause does anyone else think charles would run her off the track if she got ahead of him again
→ User 5 wtf that's his girlfriend? he wouldn't try and hurt her
→ User 6 he did push max in a puddle once
lilymhe @ alex_albon why don't you buy me this stuff
→ alex_albon because you don't support McLaren
→ YourUserName excuse me?!?! what is this betrayal
→ lilymhe @ YourUserName i can explain
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User 7 mum and dad putting those cheating rumours to rest
User 8 y/n a stronger woman than me because i would've keyed his car for implying i was sleeping with my teammate
→ User 9 actually it was arthur who implied that
→ User 10 don't drag baby leclerc into this. he was fighting in the trenches alongside us for his otp
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scuderiaferrari P4 and P8. A strong weekend for the tifosi 💪
tagged: charles_leclerc, carlossainz55
6,459 comments
User 9 i can't decide what i want to ride more
User 10 scoring some points in azerbaijan. well done, team
charles_leclerc why are you not posting the photos of me being #1 wag
→ YourUserName because this account doesn't post papaya, liefje
→ charles_leclerc no excuse
→ lilymhe because you are not #1 wag, clearly i am the only wag for @ YourUserName
→ charles_leclerc defamation
→ YourUserName @ lilymhe you tell 'em, bby
→ alex_albon i leave you alone for two seconds and you're stealing my girlfriend again
User 11 be still my beating heart
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mclaren P3 and P5. roll on the points for team papaya (ft mclaren's #1 wag)
tagged: YourUserName
7,321 comments
mclaren we apologise for interrupting your regularly scheduled papaya posts with a splash of red but you'll never guess who this racer was looking at to make him smile like that
→ maxverstappen1 sickening
→ charles_leclerc i am honoured to be awarded such a prestigious title by team mclaren
→ landonorris does this mean i can stop pretending to like y/n now?
→ charles_ leclerc @ landonorris no
→ YourUserName @ landonorris no. you're my emotional support pookie
User 11 so proud of our papayas. they did so good this weekend
User 12 i'd let y/n hit me with her car
liked by charles_leclerc
victoriaverstappen couldn't be prouder of you! 💕
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liked by victoriaverstappen, kellypiquet and others
maxverstappen1 a disappointing dnf but very pleased for the less-famous verstappen 🧡
8,066 comments
redbullracing still made us proud. we'll come back stronger in france
kellypiquet well done y/n. p was cheering you on
→ YourUserName tell her i'm coming over for a pizza party soon! 🥰
YourUserName i swear he loves me really, guys
→ charles_leclerc well he threatened to run me off the track if i didn't fix things so i'd say he does
→ maxverstappen1 for legal reasons, this is a joke
→ YourUserName ah, so that's why you apologised. not because of your undying love for me
landonorris feel like that should say the more talented verstappen
liked by YourUserName, charles_leclerc
danielricciardo don't let this fool you. the man was close to tears when y/n was p1 with just one lap to go
→ danielricciardo and then cried when her tire burst
→ danielricciardo and then cried when she finished p3
→ maxverstappen1 i'll sue you for defemation
→ User13 the Grid seemed to have learned a new word this week
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YourUserName ik houd van je
tagged: charles_leclerc
6,124 comments
charles_lecerlc je sais
→ YourUserName never going to let me forget that one, are you
→ charles_leclerc no
→ maxverstappen1 no
→ danielricciardo no
→ landonorris no
→ arthur_leclerc no
→ pierregasly no
→ victoriaverstappen no
→ lilymhe no
YourUserName how about everybody get off my dick
→ YourUserName my only friends here are the lovely ladies thirsting over my hot boyfriend with me
→ User 14 you tell 'em, honey
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charles_lecerlc as the people on twitter say, i would let y/n hit me with her car
8,593 comments
maxverstappen1 my eyes 🤮
→ charles_leclerc look away! i was going to block you for this
→ maxverstappen1 block me forever
YourUserName wow, not even a tag.
→ charles_leclerc everyone knows who you belong to, mon amour
→ YourUserName yeah, the guy who invented ice cream
→ landonorris @ charles_leclerc at least you know what to do if the racing thing doesn't work out
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Thank you for all the support shown on this series. I never expected such a response when I posted my silly little fic.
I've had so much fun making these. I have a few more ideas coming up but not loads so if you have any, please do request and I'll try my best to do them justice! <3
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Tag list: @mehrmonga @luvsforme @lemon-lav @missenclod @halleest @formula1mount @k4marina @evie-119 @letmeseeyougotowork @sleepybrokenmelle @eiaaasamantha @tinyhrry @janeholt3 @allywthsr @callsignwidow @raizelchrysanderoctavius @prudyhoo @valentinanappipage @leah-also-known-as-creatoronwp @delululeclerc @e-nonsense @scott-mccall-could-lift-mjolnir @butterfliesflyaroundmymind @bloodyymaryyy @kqliie @lifeless-firefly @woozarts @silverxxs-world @personwhoisther @eugene-emt-roe @anthonykatebridgerton @qualitygiantshoepsychic @entr4p3 @carpediem241108 @forevercaffeinated-lee @xyzstar @theendofthematerialgworl @geniusalpaca @chfiosr
#formula 1#f1#formula 1 smau#f1 smau#formula 1 social media au#f1 social media au#social media au imagine#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 headcanon#formula 1 one shot#formula 1 fluff#formula 1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 drabble#f1 headcanon#f1 one shot#f1 fluff#f1 x reader#charles leclerc#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc drabble#charles leclerc headcanon#charles leclerc one shot#charles leclerc smau#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x verstappen reader#max verstappen
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Destination: Motel Feelings
Pairing: Tyler Owens x plus size!reader
Summary: Two friends. One bed. What could possibly go wrong?
Warnings: it’s just a whole lot of smut, with a droplet of fluff. Cursing, use of pet names, self-esteem/body image issues. Oral (M & F receiving), unprotected sex (P in V), pretty fluffy sex overall.
“At least this motel is cleaner than the last one,” you mumbled as you entered the main lobby.
The motel was small, as most were in bumbfuck, Oklahoma, but it would have to do for the night.
“Who’s bunking with me this round?” Boone asked.
“Dexter’s with you. Dani and Lily are sharing, and then it’s me and Tyler,” you answered.
Since the six of you traveled together regularly, you’d made it a point to rotate sleeping arrangements to make it fair. This week was your week to bunk with Tyler. You always hated when it was just you and him, not because of anything he did, but because of how awkward you felt the entire time.
It wasn’t your fault he was gorgeous and charming and funny and smart…the combination of which made you want him with an unhealthy desperation. He was your favorite person to be around, but never alone. You needed a buffer to keep you from being incredibly awkward, or gods forbid, telling him how you felt.
You were certain Tyler wouldn’t be mean about your feelings or make you feel bad, but you were equally certain you weren’t his type. You’d met a fair amount of guys that looked as good as him, and not a single one of them was ever interested in you. You weren’t ashamed of your body, but you weren’t exactly comfortable being the only overweight person in your friend group.
You'd long since accepted the curves that came with puberty, curves that had only grown as you'd gotten older. Not a single part of you was what you would deem small, other than perhaps your height. You had large boobs and the back pain to accompany them, along with hips and an ass you were convinced could stop traffic. Your stomach had long been your biggest hurdle--and your main point of self-consciousness. Suffice it to say you were soft...and Tyler was very much not.
"You don't sound excited to be sharing a room with me, darlin'," Tyler teased lightly from behind you.
You chuckled in response. "I think I'd sell my kidney to stay in a hotel room without any of you for a week."
The rest of the team laughed while Boone and Dexter stepped up to the counter to check-in. Dani went next, grabbing room keys for her and Lily. The four of them went upstairs to throw their bags down, with a promise to be back in the lobby in 10 minutes for dinner.
You and Tyler smiled at the older woman behind the counter as you gave your name to check-in. The woman frowned slightly as she looked at her computer screen.
"Is everything alright?" Tyler asked gently.
"Well, it seems there was a bit of a mix up," she began. "We actually only have one room available."
"That's fine," you reasoned. "We only need one."
The woman nodded, but her expression still looked mildly uncomfortable. "It's--uh--it's a single."
You froze, contemplating the meaning of her words.
"Is there a couch?" Tyler asked, saving you from the discomfort.
She nodded, a look of relief crossing her face. "There is!"
"Then we'll take it," Tyler said with a smile.
A few minutes later, the two of you had your keys and were on the way upstairs to your room. You unlocked the door and barked out a laugh as you took in the space.
Tyler stepped in behind you and let out a low groan. "That's the couch?"
You laughed harder. "I didn't know they made couches that small. It's comical."
Tyler sighed and tossed his bag onto the freakishly small couch. "It's only for a night, right?"
You winced slightly. "At least two...possibly three."
"Shit," he mumbled.
"Ty, I'm not making you sleep on that tiny thing. You're over 6 feet tall...I don't even think you'll fit."
You both turned your attention to the bed on the other side of the room. Somehow, the queen sized bed looked dauntingly small to you.
"I'll, uh, take the couch," you offered.
"This thing looks like it's older than we are," Tyler muttered. "I wouldn't want my worst enemy sleeping on this thing, let alone you."
Your phone buzzed in your pocket, likely a text from Boone or Lily reminding you about dinner. "We'll figure it out after dinner. I'm starving."
Tyler nodded his agreement and followed you back down to the lobby where the rest of the team was waiting.
**********
By the time dinner was over and you'd said goodnight to the rest of the team, you'd nearly forgotten the predicament awaiting you in your room. Reality smacked you in the face the moment you opened the door and stepped back into the small space, a deep sigh settling in your chest.
"Why don't you get a shower first and I'll figure out how to make this work," Tyler said gently.
You just nodded, not wanting to consider the most logical solution to this particular issue. You grabbed your bag and entered the bathroom, shutting the door behind you. You made quick work of your shower and nighttime preparations, slipping on an oversized t-shirt and a pair of very short shorts.
You stared in the mirror for a moment, lost in a wave of self-consciousness. Every dimple in your thighs was visible, the soft flesh jiggling with your movements. You'd forgotten to throw a pair of pj pants in your bag before leaving home this time, so the shorts were all you had. You sighed, knowing it wasn't gonna get any better than it currently was, so you grabbed your bag and went back out into the room.
Tyler was lying on the floor, a singular blanket and pillow his only form of bedding.
A light laugh accompanied your words as you took in the sight before you. "What the heck are you doing?"
Tyler looked up with an uncomfortable shrug. "Sleeping on the floor. What does it look like?"
"It looks like you're insane," you said lightly. "I don't even want to know how disgusting these floors are...I would much rather sleep on the couch than let you sleep on the floor all night."
"Having sat on the couch already, I can promise you the floor is more comfortable."
You scoffed. "Impossible." You crossed the room and dropped onto the couch with an oomph. "Jesus--this thing is a rock."
Tyler laughed at your obvious discomfort. "I told you. There's no way I'm letting you sleep on that thing. At least one of us needs to get a good night's sleep."
"So why don't you sleep on the bed and I'll sleep on the floor."
Tyler glared at you. "Not happening, sweetheart. My mama raised me better than that."
You rolled your eyes. "No offense, Tyler, but I think you're a little too old to sleep on the floor these days. You're gonna wake up with a slipped disk and a hernia."
His laughter brought a smile to your face. "I'm not that old, (Y/N)."
"Well I'm definitely that old--and I'm a year younger than you."
He smirked as he pulled himself off the floor. "You're taking the bed, you muppet."
Your jaw dropped, a choked laugh escaping your throat. "Did you just call me a muppet?"
"Yes I did and I don't regret it." He grabbed his bag and rushed past you to get to the bathroom before you could find something to throw at him.
"Muppet," you murmured under your breath. "He's the muppet."
"I heard that!"
"Get in the shower, Owens!" you laughingly yelled back.
You unceremoniously dropped onto the bed, a sigh breezing past your lips. You were tired and the thought of having the entire bed to yourself was a pleasant one...until you sat up and looked at the makeshift bed on the cold, hard, unforgiving floor.
You knew there was no way you could let him sleep on the floor. While the comments about his age had been a joke, you were both in your 30s now and sleeping wrong could genuinely fuck you up for days. You absolutely couldn't make him sleep on the damn floor.
You glanced at the empty bed beside you and groaned. Sharing a bed with Tyler ranked very highly on your list of most horrifying situations. There was a high probability you would actually combust from embarrassment alone. What if you did something weird in your sleep? What if you kicked him or pushed him out of the bed? What if you accidentally tried to cuddle with him? You would die of mortification.
While you were contemplating all the ways this could go horribly wrong, Tyler came out from the bathroom clad in his boxers and a scandalously tight white t-shirt. You bit your lip, looking away from him hurriedly. You could feel the blush heating your cheeks and you prayed he wouldn't notice.
You cleared your throat quietly before gesturing to the bed beside you. You couldn't quite meet his gaze as you said, "You're not sleeping on the floor, so you might as well take half the bed."
Tyler raised his eyebrows even though he knew you weren't looking his way. "You sure, sweetheart? I don't wanna impose."
You shrugged. "We're adults, Ty. I think we can manage to share a bed for a couple nights without making it weird."
He noticed you still hadn't met his gaze, a fact he chose to ignore. Instead, he opted to use the moment to his advantage, blue-green eyes sweeping over your form, noting the exposed, soft flesh of your legs. He had twin urges to sink his teeth into your thighs and feel them wrap around his head until he couldn't breathe. He quickly shook the image out of his head before those impure thoughts could make their way below the belt line.
"We can put a pillow in the middle if you want," he offered sweetly.
"The bed is a little small for that--besides, we only have three pillows on this damn bed and I'm using two of them."
Tyler chuckled as he scooped up his pillow from the floor and placed it beside yours. He lowered himself onto the bed, feeling the mattress dip with his weight. "Why do you get two pillows and I only get one?"
"Because you like to sleep as flat as possible like some sort of psychopath."
Tyler laughed heartily, his grin widening as he took in the small smile gracing your face. "A psychopath?"
"Retaliation for calling me a muppet."
He laughed again, smacking you gently with his pillow. The action earned him a glare, followed by a slow, teasing smirk. His mind went blank as you finally made eye contact with him. Your pupils swallowed up nearly all of your irises thanks to the dim lighting and the singular lamp on his bedside table cast the prettiest glow on your skin. The only thought that crossed his mind was the word 'radiant'.
He swallowed thickly, forcing the word back down his throat before he could blurt it out. You'd never once given him an indication you felt the same way he did, and the last thing he wanted to do was make you uncomfortable.
"Alright, weirdo. Turn off that light so we can go to sleep," you murmured, breaking the spell of the moment.
Tyler did as you asked before settling more comfortably into the bed. You laid on your side, back to him, and he felt the urge to run his fingers through your hair--yet another urge he immediately suppressed.
He rolled over so his back was to you and let out a soft sigh. He had to admit he was tired, but being in the same bed with you and not touching you was almost painful, enough so that he wasn't sure he'd be able to sleep.
"Goodnight, Tyler," you whispered softly, keeping your eyes trained on the wall, even though you desperately wanted to look at him one more time.
"Goodnight, (Y/N/N)." He paused. "Just do me one favor."
"Hmm?"
"Keep your icy ass feet away from me."
You laughed, swinging your leg back to plant your foot against his bare calf. He swore and nearly jumped at the sensation.
"They're like icicles!"
You giggled. "They're not that bad you drama queen."
He rolled over enough to glare at your back. "That's drama king to you."
You shot a matching glare over your shoulder before you both burst out laughing. You swatted his arm affectionately, trying not to marvel at the firm muscles beneath your palm. "Go to sleep."
He smiled as he faced away again. "Goodnight, icicle."
He heard your breathy laugh as you murmured, "Goodnight, drama king."
**********
The exhaustion must have kicked in at some point because you could barely remember falling asleep when you awoke in the middle of the night. It took you several moments to orient yourself, having forgotten where you were.
In those moments before lucidity settled in, you could feel a radiating heat at your back and you instinctively curled into it, pressing against something very firm.
Then you felt it--breath gently blowing against your neck, something heavy draped across your middle, and someone's very large body pressed against you from head to foot.
Tyler. His name slammed into your brain, pushing you firmly into wide-awake territory. You quickly realized it was his body wrapped around yours, his breath caressing your neck, his arm holding you tightly against him.
You laid there, utterly frozen, as you contemplated what to do. His grip on you was surprisingly firm, preventing you from simply rolling out of his grasp, and there wasn't much room on your side of the bed to escape to anyway.
Somewhere in Tyler's subconscious, he must have felt the shift in your body and the urge to ease your tension was one he couldn't ignore even in his dreaming state.
His grip on you tightened even more, pulling you back against his chest. He pressed forward into you and you shifted slightly in an attempt to distance yourself. In doing so, you wiggled your ass right against his semi-hard member, eliciting a soft groan from Tyler's lips.
With absolute horror, you felt him start to harden even more, the urge to melt into the floor growing with each moment. You didn't want him to wake up and be mortified, so you tried to move away from him without waking him.
Your movements stirred him into awareness, the current situation coming into focus as he awoke. You felt the moment Tyler woke up fully, his body going rigid against yours before rolling away from you with shocking speed.
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, (Y/N)," he muttered in embarrassment. "I-I didn't mean--shit. I'm sorry."
"It's okay," you murmured, trying to diffuse the situation. "You were sleeping--it happens."
He groaned and rubbed his face wearily. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."
His voice was low and pained, the tone making your chest ache. "You didn't. It's alright." You reached out a hand to brush against his arm. "Hey...look at me."
His body remained tense beneath your fingers. "Ty," you urged.
He finally turned to look at you and he found himself surprised at your open expression. You didn't look angry or upset, in fact, if he didn't know better, he'd say you looked intrigued.
"No more apologizing," you ordered when he opened his mouth with a clear apology on his lips. "I didn't mind."
Your eyes widened as you realized what you'd just admitted, a bright pink blush quickly deepening your skin.
Emboldened by your words, Tyler leaned towards you slightly. "Which part? Me holding you? Or my obvious physical attraction to you?"
You exhaled sharply. "Your what?"
Tyler's eyes scanned your face and he was certain he saw a whole lot more than intrigue written there--he'd even say it was desire. "Oh come on princess. You felt my reaction..."
You blanched further. "It's-it's a physiological response--"
"To you," he added firmly. "A physiological response to you."
Your mouth opened and closed in an embarrassing representation of a fish before you finally pushed out one word, "Me?"
Tyler smirked, looking around the room. "You're the only one here, sweetheart."
You looked down at yourself before looking back at him, repeating the motion twice before you sputtered, "You-you. No--you...no way. You can't."
He smiled at your fumbled words. "I can and I do. I've never met anyone who makes me feel the way you do."
"Physically?" you gasped in disbelief.
He chuckled. "Physically and emotionally, actually."
Your draw dropped further. "What?"
Tyler stood up and moved to your side of the bed, kneeling down in front of you. "Let me make this very explicitly clear, (Y/N). Yes, I find you attractive. Yes, I want you. Yes, I think you're incredible. No, I don't just wanna fuck. Yes, I want to be with you."
You stared at him in silence for a long moment. "Am I dreaming?" you whispered.
He shook his head and gently brushed a thumb against your outer thigh. "We're both wide awake, baby."
"Are you sure?"
He chuckled. "That we're awake? Very."
"No--that you want me."
Tyler grabbed both of your hands and squeezed them between his. "I am completely certain I want you in every meaning of the word. I would, however, like to start with getting to know you...biblically."
You let out a breathy laugh. "I would ask if you're drunk, but I already know the answer."
"Sober as a priest, darlin'."
"So you're just insane then?"
He cocked his head to the side. "I've never felt more sane in my life. I've wanted you since the day you walked into my life, (Y/N). Only way I'm walking away now is if you tell me you don't feel the same."
You stared at him, a look of confused wonder on your face. Never did you think Tyler Owens would be saying this to you...but here he was, literally on his knees, telling you everything you've wanted to hear for so long.
"Of course I feel the same," you said softly. "How could I not?"
He smiled as he slowly pulled himself up, but instead of rising to his full height, he began to slowly crawl onto the bed, forcing you to lay down to accommodate him.
He stopped once you were fully trapped beneath him, lips so close you could feel his warm breath. "Stop me if this isn't what you want," he whispered.
You lifted your head to close the gap between you, lips pressing firmly against his. He groaned into the kiss, immediately deepening it.
You slid your tongue along the seam of his lips, silently begging him to let you in. He obliged, tongue meeting yours with fervent passion. He tangled his fingers into your hair with one hand, while the other slipped under your shirt to gently rub at your hips.
You were inclined to allow him to kiss you until you passed out from lack of oxygen, but he finally pulled away just enough to suck down a lungful of air.
"If I'd known kissing you felt like that, I would have done this years ago," he murmured.
You chuckled breathlessly. "I haven't been kissed like that in a long time--perhaps ever, if I'm honest."
"Then allow me to make a promise. I will kiss you like that every day for the rest of your life."
You gasped. "That's...a rather intense commitment, Ty."
"Five years, (Y/N)."
"I'm gonna die in five years?"
Tyler chuckled and shook his head. "God I hope not. I meant, I have wanted to do that for five years...so no, it's not as big of a commitment as you'd think. I'd think of it more as an honor."
You stared at him in silence for a moment. "Who taught you to talk like that?"
He grinned, but you could see a light blush dusting his cheeks even in the dark room. "I, uh--I've read a lot of those books you told me about."
"Books I've read?"
He nodded.
"I had no idea."
"Well I knew how much you liked them and I was curious...so I started reading one and I couldn't stop. They actually gave me some ideas for things I'd like to do with you."
"I'm not quite sure why that's so hot, but it is. So if you could please kiss me again, I'd appreciate it."
Tyler grinned, leaning down to press his lips to yours. You sighed into the kiss and pulled him even closer to you, desperate to feel as much of him as you could.
He felt the same way, right hand sliding farther up your side under your shirt, exposing more of your flesh as he went.
His thumb brushed the underside of your breast and he groaned into the kiss as he realized it meant you'd forgone a bra. He moved his hand to properly cup your breast, kneading the supple flesh before brushing a thumb over your peaked nipple.
You gasped softly and you reached for the hem of his shirt to tug it off. He allowed you to remove it and proceeded to reach for yours. A wave of self-consciousness hit you and you grabbed his wrists to stop him from lifting it further.
"Maybe we keep it on?" you said softly.
He looked confused. "Why?"
You didn't answer right away. You didn't want to admit to the feelings of self-doubt or acknowledge your body image issues, but you also didn't like the idea of being fully exposed to him. Especially now that you could see exactly how well-sculpted he was.
His eyes scanned your face, looking for an answer to his question. You weren't making eye contact with him, but you weren't telling him to stop, which only added to his growing confusion.
"Do you want to stop?"
"No!" you said quickly. "I just--I don't..."
The confusion on his face was almost endearing. He wanted to see you, touch you, kiss you...and he couldn't understand why you didn't want him to.
"Am I making you uncomfortable?" he whispered.
You shook your head immediately. "It's not you at all, Tyler. It's me."
He frowned. "I don't understand."
You let out an exasperated sigh, realizing you really would have to be straightforward. "I don't really like the way I look without clothes on." Your voice was low, barely a whisper, but he still heard every word.
Realization hit him like an EF5 tornado. "Who made you feel that way?"
The harsh tone of his voice surprised you, so much so that you finally made eye contact with him again. His eyes were dark and there was a hint of simmering anger in them.
When you didn't answer, he asked again. "Who made you feel like you weren't beautiful?"
You exhaled slowly. "Do you want a list?"
His nostrils flared and he balled his hands into fists. "No one has the right to make negative comments on your appearance. No one, including you. I'm sorry anyone ever made you feel like you weren't a fucking prize, but that's their loss. If you don't feel comfortable showing me your body yet, then I won't push you, but I need you to know I want to see every inch of you...so I can worship every inch of you."
Your lips parted in surprise as you let his words sink in. There was no hint of deception in his voice or his gaze, and it gave you a surge of much-needed confidence.
You sat up just enough to pull your shirt up and over your head before letting your back hit the sheets. Your pulse was racing, breathing ragged, and you couldn't quite make yourself look at him.
Tyler was silent as he beheld your exposed torso, gaze sweeping appreciatively over every dip and curve, mentally marking every spot he wanted to spend extra time on.
He finally looked back up at your face, noticing instantly that your eyes were trained on the ceiling. "Baby. Look at me."
The dominance in his voice, while gentle, left no room for argument. You met his adoring gaze and the last dredges of worry left your body, taking the tension along with it.
He watched your body relax and a small smile formed on his lips. He leaned forward so he hovered over you once more and murmured, "You are absolutely exquisite."
With those four words, you melted, becoming a pliable instrument to his will. He kissed you softly before beginning his descent down your jaw, your neck, to your collarbone, and finally to your breasts.
"I think I'll stop here for a while," he mumbled against your soft skin.
You let out a breathy chuckle as you slid your fingers into his hair. He was true to his word, not a single inch of skin left untouched by either his mouth or hands.
The growing need for him was starting to become more prominent, the slick gathering between your thighs almost to an embarrassing level. As much as you were enjoying the attention he paid to your breasts, you needed to feel him elsewhere.
Before you could voice the need, Tyler continued his descent down your stomach, kissing every little mark he found. He reveled in the feeling of softness beneath his hands, wanting nothing more than to touch your body forever.
"Tyler," you whimpered, need evident in your voice.
He chuckled against your skin. "So impatient."
You squirmed slightly, desperate for some form of friction, a need he, himself, was also feeling. He hooked his fingers in the sides of your shorts and you lifted your hips to allow him to remove the last scrap of fabric from your body.
The sound that slipped past Tyler's lips could only be described as a growl. "That tiny bit of fabric was all that was between me and all of this?"
You nodded, unable to speak as he slipped a finger between your folds to collect your slick. He brought the finger to his mouth and sucked it clean, moaning softly at your taste.
"I knew you would be delicious."
He dropped to his knees off the edge of the bed, then grabbed your hips and tugged you towards him. A squeal of surprise escaped you, which brought a smirk to his lips.
"I wanted a better angle." With that, he threw your legs over his shoulders and dove into your pussy.
Your moans immediately drowned out any of the other sounds in the room, and even the ambient noise from outside. Tyler was incredibly skilled with his mouth, even more than you'd always imagined.
His tongue swirled your clit as he slipped one finger into you, gently curling it against the soft, spongey spot that made your toes curl. Your hips jacked off the bed in response, causing him to drape an arm across your abdomen to hold you in place.
"More, Tyler," you begged.
He grinned and added another finger, increasing the pace of the thrusts and his ministrations on your clit. Your hands clawed at the sheets as you neared your peak, desperate pleas to not stop mixed with your moans of pleasure.
Tyler, of course, did not stop. He wanted you to cum as much as you wanted it. He could feel how close you were, your pussy was squeezing his fingers so tightly it was becoming harder to move them. You kept trying to move your hips to grind on his face for even more friction, but he held you in place.
With a final flick of his tongue, you fell over the edge, waves of pleasure filling your senses. Tyler didn't stop until your moans turned to soft whimpers and you squirmed away from him.
He crawled back onto the bed, watching you as you came down from your high. He was certain you'd never looked more beautiful. When he said as much, you blushed deeply and averted your gaze.
"Oh come on, princess. Don't get all shy on me now."
You giggled lightly and looked at him again. He looked so damn good it was nearly offensive. You reached for his boxers with a murmured, "May I?"
Instead of answering, he stood up and removed his boxers quickly. You bit your lip at the sight of his very large member. The man gave off big dick energy, so you really shouldn't have been surprised.
You licked your lips absentmindedly as you looked at him. You pulled yourself up into a sitting position and flicked your gaze to his face. He was surprised by the hunger evident in your expression and he suddenly felt his need for you intensify.
He took a step towards you as if to crawl back on top of you, but you shook your head. "Lie down," you commanded softly.
The look in your eyes had him obeying immediately. As soon as he'd laid down, you climbed onto him, straddling his thigh. Your soft hand wrapped firmly around his cock and you began to stroke him slowly, earning soft sounds of enjoyment from him.
You smirked as you took in his expression, pleasure evident on his face. You lowered yourself, taking him into your mouth with a soft moan of your own. His hand was instantly in your hair, grip tightening as you started moving.
You swirled your tongue around his head before sucking tightly. You relaxed your throat and continued to take more of him into your mouth until he hit the back of your throat. Anything your mouth couldn't take, your hand pleasured.
His moans spurred you on and guided your motions. You picked up on the subtle things that seemed to provide him more pleasure and you focused on those. Your own enjoyment was evident in the moans you made around his cock and the way you occasionally rubbed your pussy against his thigh, desperately seeking some relief.
Tyler could feel his orgasm fast approaching, but he wasn't ready to cum yet. With a strong tug on your hair, he lifted your head off his cock. You whined in annoyance, a small pout on your face when you met his gaze.
"Sorry, baby, but I'd like this to last."
Your expression softened and you shifted your body to straddle his hips. You leaned forward to kiss him deeply. He met your lips hungrily, teeth nipping at your bottom lip before his tongue delved into your mouth.
You gently brushed your pussy against his cock, eliciting needy moans from both of you.
"I don't think I can wait any longer," Tyler murmured.
"Me neither," you admitted. You sat back up, an odd expression he couldn't name on your face.
"You alright, sugar?"
You bit your lip. "Could I...could I ride you?"
A wide grin spread across Tyler's face. "'Course you can."
You weren't accustomed to being on top, but it was something you really wanted to try with him. You gripped his cock and slowly lowered yourself down onto him, gasps and whimpers leaving your lips as you took all of him.
Tyler's grip on your hips tightened, a low groan leaving his throat as he watched his cock disappear inside you. You shook slightly, so he rubbed soothing circles into your hips and whispered, "Just relax, baby. I've got you."
You nodded and took a deep breath, allowing your body time to adjust to his considerable size. You placed your hands against his chest, using them for leverage as you lifted yourself up and dropped back down onto his cock.
The sensation was incredible...and the control was utterly intoxicating. You started to move faster, spurred on by the way his fingers dug into your flesh and the sounds of pleasure escaping his parted lips.
After several minutes, your thighs began to burn and your motions slowed. Tyler noticed your energy waning, so he pulled you down flush against his chest and kissed you deeply. He thrust up into you a couple times before flipping you onto your back.
"Let me take care of you," he murmured as he began to slowly thrust into you.
His movements were slow and calculated, leaving you utterly breathless. Your nails scrapped along his shoulders and back, moans slipping past your lips with each thrust. "Tyler..." you whimpered.
He nipped at your collarbone in response to his name, the sound coming from your lips was easily the most beautiful thing he'd ever heard.
He pulled himself up onto his knees, tugging both of your legs up to rest against his chest. The new position elevated your hips at just the right angle for each thrust to press firmly against your sweet spot.
The chorus of broken moans coming from you mixed with the sounds your mingled bodies made to create the most intoxicating symphony Tyler'd ever heard.
There was not a single thought in your head other than the overwhelming pleasure you were on the receiving end of. You were lost in it--in him. Your nails dug roughly into his biceps as you clung to him with all your strength.
Gasps of his name left you, along with desperate pleas to keep going. Tyler pushed past the pain in his arms as you drew blood, his sole focus on making sure you reached your peak. He watched your face contort in pleasure, chest heaving, eyes closed, moans dripping from your open mouth.
"Look at me," he whispered.
Your eyes fluttered open, taking a moment to focus on his blue-green ones. The moment your eyes met, you fell apart with a fractured scream of his name. The muscles of your core clenched tightly around him, forcing him to a slower pace.
Tyler watched you in awe, utterly enraptured by the sheer magnitude of the moment. Your legs shook as he took them in his hands and gently lowered them back to the bed.
Your hands had fallen from his arms, but you now reached for him. "Ty."
He leaned forward, placing both his palms on the bed beside your head, caging you beneath him once again. His thrusts had slowed considerably, but you knew he needed his own release. You could see it in the tension lining his jaw and the desperation in his eyes.
You nipped his jaw affectionately, earning a low chuckle from him. "I want you to cum inside me," you murmured.
A deep growl rumbled in his chest at your words. His pace immediately picked back up, now chasing his own release. "You feel incredible, baby."
You sighed sweetly, fingers touching his tanned skin and tangling in his hair. "So do you."
His moans mixed with pants of your name, and he dug one hand into the hair at the nape of your neck, clinging to you desperately. "I can't get enough of you. So perfect for me."
You moaned softly at his words, loving the praise coming from him. You could tell he was close as his thrusts became more erratic.
You pressed kisses to his jaw and the column of his throat before whispering, "Cum for me, Tyler. Please, baby, I need it."
Tyler groaned loudly, hips stuttering as he spilled his seed deep inside you. He moaned your name against your lips, thrusts slowing to nothing. He kissed your jaw before collapsing on top of you, heavy pants leaving his mouth.
You kissed the top of his head and rubbed your fingers soothingly over his back. You could feel some of the marks you'd left on his skin, a slight embarrassment sinking into you.
"You were incredible," he murmured against your skin. "So much better than I'd imagined...and I've imagined it a lot."
You giggled lightly at his admission. "I might have imagined it once or twice myself."
He lifted his head to look at you, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "And? Did I meet your expectations?"
"No," you said honestly, a small smile on your face. You saw his smirk fade slightly as you moved closer. "You exceeded them."
The tension in his face eased to a genuine smile. He pressed his lips against yours in a sweet kiss that still managed to make your toes curl.
Tyler slowly lifted himself off you, softening cock sliding out of you along with your mixed spends. You let out a soft whimper, which earned you a sweet smile and a loving kiss.
"I'm coming right back, princess. Just wanna clean up."
You watched him walk away to the bathroom, leaving you to wonder if you should try and get up too. After all, you needed cleaned up just as badly as he did.
He saved you from having to make that decision when he came back moments later with a warm washcloth. Your expression softened considerably when you realized he'd brought it for you.
"What's that face for?" he asked softly.
"Just appreciating how sweet you are."
He smiled. "I'm gonna pretend you didn't think I was just gonna leave you here with this mess." His tone was light, though slightly chastising.
"I've never had someone take care of me after sex," you admitted, a soft blush gracing your cheeks.
Tyler looked surprised as he slowly began to clean you up. "Clearly you've been sleeping with the wrong men."
You chuckled softly, even as you winced from the over-stimulation between your legs. "Looks like I made the right choice this time."
Tyler made sure you were completely clean and dry before responding. "I think we both did."
Your eyes brightened with emotion and you reached for him in a silent plea. He tossed the rag behind him towards the bathroom before crawling back into bed.
He grabbed you firmly, pulling you into his chest. You curled up against him, head resting against the muscle of his pectoral. You felt him brush his fingers down your arm, the movement affectionate and possessive.
You kissed his chest, a small sigh leaving your lips as you settled in. You felt the exhaustion coming to claim you and you could tell by Tyler's even breathing that it was coming for him too.
As you closed your eyes, your foolish brain began to overthink every moment of the night. You wondered if he would regret his choices in the light of day, or if he would want to actually have a real relationship with you.
Tyler felt the tension in your body and his grip on you tightened. "Turn your brain off, princess."
You inhaled sharply before letting out a soft chuckle. "How'd you know?"
"I know you. I can practically hear your brain overthinking," he teased. "Whatever your anxiety says is wrong. I'm in this for the long haul, okay?"
You exhaled heavily as if releasing all those negative thoughts. "I love you, Tyler," you whispered so softly he had to strain to hear.
His heart skipped a beat and a slow smile spread across his face. He nuzzled into your hair, his grip on your soft body tightening. "I love you too, princess."
The soft words of affection were the last you shared before falling asleep in each other's arms.
**********
The morning light shining in through the windows woke you, a groan of annoyance leaving you as you tried to block out the light.
Tyler's responding grumble sent shivers through your body, making you curl in closer to him. You felt his lips graze your forehead, as he said in a voice heavy with sleep, "Mornin', darlin'."
"Don't wanna," you groused.
Tyler chuckled lightly. "I know baby, but we gotta."
"Five more minutes."
He kissed your forehead again before untangling himself from you. "I'll give you ten. I'm gonna jump in the shower."
You whimpered as his warmth left you, but you quickly rolled over into the spot he'd just vacated. You sighed softly as you curled up, the residual heat from his body warming you.
He chuckled again and thought to himself that he could get used to this--waking up beside you. You looked even more beautiful in the morning light and he found himself excited to tell everyone he came across that you were his. He kissed you one last time before going to shower.
You heard the shower turn on and you debated the merits of joining him. You didn't want to get out of the warm bed, but you also knew you had to. A nice hot shower with the man of your dreams did sound rather enticing.
You groaned as you pulled yourself out of bed on slightly unstable legs. You slowly made your way to the bathroom, slipping in quietly. You could see Tyler's outline behind the glass, his back to you as he reached for his body wash.
You crossed the short distance, opening the shower door and stepping inside. "Mind if I join you?"
Tyler turned to you with a grin. "I'd love it, actually."
You reached a hand out for the body wash and washcloth he held. "Let me."
He smiled and handed them to you, but when you stepped closer, you saw the marks on his biceps--crescent moon shaped scabs. "Oh my god," you gasped. "Did I do that?"
Tyler's eyes followed your line of sight. "It's not a big deal, princess. They're badges of honor, as all marks from you are."
You bit your lip, clearly unconvinced.
"Baby." His voice was stern enough you immediately turned your attention to his face. "I'm okay. I promise."
You relaxed, the clear calm in his expression easing your worry. "Okay."
He grabbed your hips and tugged you towards him, a little smile on his face. "Besides, you've got a nice bite mark on that pretty collarbone of yours...and some finger shaped bruises on these sexy hips."
You looked down to where his fingers grazed your skin and realized he was right. A light blush crept up to your cheeks. "I have to admit...I quite like the idea of you marking me."
Tyler grinned wolfishly. "Now you know how I feel."
You giggled softly, allowing him to press his body more firmly against you, lips seeking yours for a gentle kiss.
When he attempted to deepen the kiss, you gently pushed him back. "We need to actually bathe, remember? The team's expecting us for breakfast soon."
He groaned. "They can wait."
"Tyler!" you yelped when he pulled you back in, pressing a warm kiss to your lips.
You could feel his cock begin to harden against your abdomen, his hands roaming your body like he wanted to memorize it. You sighed softly as he gently messaged your skin, your need for him growing with each passing moment.
"Come on, princess. Let me make you feel good," he begged against your ear, fingers dangerously close to your core.
"Please," you whimpered.
Tyler grinned, nipping at your earlobe, then your pulse point, focusing there as his fingers dipped into your dripping pussy. A soft moan of pleasure left your lips, head tilting back to lean against the cool tiles.
"I'm thinking we might just skip breakfast all together," Tyler murmured.
You laughed breathily, grabbing his face to plant another kiss to his swollen lips. "I think I'm okay with that."
Tyler spent the next 45 minutes making you moan his name as he gave you overwhelming pleasure. He also used up all the hot water in the entire motel, which you discovered when the two of you finally made it out of your room to meet the rest of the team.
"Dude, I had to take a freezing cold shower," Boone was grumbling as you and Tyler walked downstairs.
"Me too!" Dani chimed in. "Someone must have used all the hot water."
A sheepish smile graced your face as you overheard their conversation. Tyler let out a quiet chuckle, hand squeezing yours gently.
Lily made eye contact with you, noting your expression, your's and Tyler's wet hair, and the hold he still had on your hand. A knowing grin spread across her face. "I think I know exactly who used all the hot water."
#tyler owens x reader#tyler owens x reader smut#tyler owens x plus size reader#tyler owens x plus size reader smut#plus size!reader#twisters smut#tyler owens smut
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She pestered an aunt I don't think I've seen in over 20 years to text me to confirm I received these Crucial Amazon Pajamas, amazing
Was briefly baffled by a package I didn't order appearing today and had my suspicions, but blocked voicemails from Mom confirm she bought me pajamas? I'd have preferred if she used that money to pay back whoever she owes most recently. But. Well. She sent 'em.
Honestly Amazon pajamas are a huge step up from the last gift she sent me like 5 years ago that had me genuinely freaked out wondering who the fuck was anonymously sending me soft pornography
#if you put a gun to my head and 6 photographs of white women in front of me and demanded i tell you which one was aunt erin#i'd have to eat that bullet#i mean on the one hand these pajamas are the only christmas present i've gotten in....6 years? more?#so like. thanks.#but they're from the worst person in my life so like. this changes nothing.#ima be real here. the only thing going for Mom for me these days is that dementia doesn't seem to have hit her yet like it's hit Dad#she's the Gaslight Queen so obv nothing she says is useful OR true but like. she doesn't sound any different than she did 10 years ago#Dad still talked to me like i was 7 when i was 23 but Dad's conceptions of like. linear time have always been suspect.#confusing me for a nephew/cousin i didn't know existed is new this year
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Time Traveller AU part 12
Part 1 is here. Part 2 is here. Part 3 is here. Part 4 is here. Part 5 is here. Part 6 is here. Part 7 is here. Part 8 is here. Part 9 is here. Part 10 is here. Part 11 is here. Time Traveller au masterlist is here. Check out my MASTERLIST for more!
You and Silas stared at each other.
"What do you mean "okay"?"
You nod. "Okay, I'll marry you."
He looked at you suspiciously. "Why?"
"Why not?"
"That is not an answer." He frowned, making you sigh as you turned your body to face him completely. "Look, you're going to pay me anyways right?" He nodded. "So, I need the money, and well... lets just say I have nothing else left to lose. Maybe I'm just bored."
Bored? More like pissed at the universe and I will not let it beat me to the ground anymore. I wont go out without causing chaos and maybe if someone tries to kill me again, I will perhaps consider disrupting the historical timeline to make the universe itself combust and unravel. If I'm suffering, I'm taking the universe along!
Silas gave you an incredulous look, before shrugging in defeat. "Very well, then."
"Wait-" You stop him from getting up. "Why did you choose me? Actually, why do you need a wife?"
He rolled his eyes, standing up, you following along. "Come on, Silas. Tell me. Is it cause I'm pretty? Smart-"
"You dressed as a man."
What?
"What?"
He looked down at you. "What? You didnt think I'd spot you in that poor disguise at the newspaper office that day?"
Silas saw me that day? He recognised me?
"How did you even-" He scoffed. "I'm intelligent. And I have eyes. I notice everyone and everything." He turned around and began walking away.
"Wait!" You ran after him. "That still doesnt answer my question! You're marrying me because I dressed like a man? What- you're attracted by that-"
"Stop talking." Silas cut you off abruptly. "I chose you because you work at the newspaper, not because you're a man."
"Oh. So you need someone to write out articles singing your praises?Cant you just pay someone to do that?"
He rolled his eyes. "No. I dont need someone to sing my praises. I need you to be the mole there. I want you to report everything that happens at the paper, specifically about the murders thats been on going these days."
Murders? Murders-
"The White Chapel murders?" He nodded. "I need the papers to focus on them, not on me or who I am marrying. I need them to put the pressure on the cops to catch that sick bastard! Not idolise him with that stupid alias-"
"Jack the Ripper." You finish for him. He breathes heavily, anger radiating off him. "Yes, that. Because its only causing people to either admire him for killing off those prostitutes or fear him, letting the idea of them terrorise them!"
"I see. But... why do you need to get married to me for that? I mean, if you pay me, I could just report to you everything from there, including his letters."
Silas looked at you in slight annoyance, as if mad that you couldnt figure out his motives.
"The papers are focusing on me and my marriage. If I get married, the news will only run for a week or two before diverting their attention to the papers. And before you ask why I'm marrying you specifically instead of someone much better suited to my tastes-" okay, not gonna take that insult to heart. "- I told you, you work at the paper, which means you'll report everything to me. And if I were to marry someone more influential, the papers will continue to write about us for longer. But you? You're a nobody- believe me, I checked. You have no family, dont come from nobility, so no one will talk about you. "
Great. "Wow, you do know how to flatter a woman."
Silas smirked. "Trust me, "a woman" would be flattered-" You shot him a glare before he could finish off his joke.
-
Silas and you got married later that night. He arranged an out-of-town priest, some official documents, and two witnesses for the vows, which were his butler Cadbury and his wife, Erin, who acted as the best man and maid-of-honor. It was obvious that Silas wanted to keep this ceremony a secret, and he told you that the time will come to break the news.
When the priest asked him to kiss you, SIias pulled a face and said to skip over that part because you had bad breath. You did not. Jerk.
But you were glad you didnt had to kiss him, so you didnt bother kicking his shin. Maybe nearly dying so many times has made you grow a pair, or maybe its the fact that you dont actually consider this a real marriage because a Nikkah (an Islamic wedding) ceremony did not happen, so technically, you're still single, but you're surprised at how... calmly you've come to terms with everything.
Silas let you go back to you house, because the marriage was the still a secret so there's no use keeping you around at his place. Besides, he needs you to continue working on the murders.
Honestly, you do kind of want to find out who Jack the Ripper is. Any historian worth his salt, dreams of this very opportunity you've been given- to find out the man behind all the horrendous, gut wrenching murders.
Colin watched you get up from your desk and go to the corner office where Will was working on the murders. Poor Will. Colin pitied the lad- he had to deal with the gruesome details of the murders, write out the articles in details that are just pallatable enough for the readers, only to be rejected by the editor who wanted the front page news to be about Silas FitzGeorge.
What were you doing there? Colin didnt think it was best for you to go in there, after the depressing weeks you'd barely pulled yourself through. Grisly details of a killing spree might not be what you need at the moment.
"Hey Will!" You walk in his office, changing your voice to that of a man.
"Holmes." He acknowledged you briefly, his hair a mess as well his desk. If anyone knew how giddy you were everytime someone in the office called you Sherlock Holmes, you'd be labelled a loser for sure.
"Still working on those murders, eh?" You walk closer to his desk. "Any leads on who the mystery man might be?"
"No." He glared at you. "I would, if the coppers were to do their job and the editor published my work, but noooo. God forbid we miss any details on that FitzGeorge fella and his tragic life. Cry me a fucking river-" Ah, a fellow Silas hater. You can work with that.
"Let me help you." You offer him. Will raises his brow, before scoffing. "Unless you can somehow have the editor publish my articles, I dont think you can help me. Besides, I dont need an amateur disturbing me because he's just wants to see a dead body."
Amateur? Pfft, I'll have you know I was a minor celebrity on Wattpad at just age 11 when I wrote Sherlock Holmes fanfics-
"How about this? If I can convince the editor to post your work, will you let me help?"
Will stares at you, studying you for a moment.
"Fine."
You walk out of his office and go to your desk where Colin is already waiting for you.
"Hey, Colin." You greet him, sitting down as you pull a blank sheet of paper from your drawer and start writing on it.
"Hey... Sherlock. What were you doing in-" He leans down to read what you're writing. "Jack The Ripper- why are you writing about him?"
You shrug. "Why not? He's an important figure to talk about and needs to be caught. If the papers bring enough attention to him, it'll put pressure on the authorities to work harder to catch him."
"I get that, but- I mean, you already have the FitzGeorges to write about and what about other douches in high society?" Colin tried to persuade you.
"I'll write about them too, in fact. Dont worry about it. I'm going to bring you some real dirt soon." You tell him before picking up the pen again, but Colin grasps your wrist, stopping you.
"Y/n, I just dont think that you should be working on this right now-"
"Colin." You cut him off, freeing your wrist. "I'm grateful for your concern for my well being, but I assure you- I am not made of glass. I can handle my business. Besides, this is something that has intrigued me. Let me work on it, please." You say before returning to writing down your points on the homicidal maniac.
-
After work, you changed out of your disguise and went to the antique store on Regent street, or what was left of it.
You knew there was no chance, but something inside you hoped that your time machine had survived.
The store was burnt down, and since the interior was mainly made of wood, most of the antiques had burnt to ashes or at least, damaged beyond repair and could not be sold.
You stood outside the ruins off the store, the property was sealed off and guards stood outside it, not letting you in.
"Please, I just need to-"
"Like I said, miss. We were given specific instructions not to let anyone in." The guard cut you off, annoyed by your insistence.
Before you could argue again, someone walked up behind you.
"Y/n." Henry looked at you. He was dressed well, his hair combed and face shaved, well kept as he usually was but his eyes.... he had bags under his eyes. Like he hadnt slept in days.
"What are you doing here?"
"Oh, um- I just wanted to see if my stuff is still there."
He nodded at his guards to step aside, leading you inside the shop.
"Look around. See if you can find it." Henry's tone was flat, as if he already knew.
Still, you looked around. You searched the whole place, not even finding the remains off your machine. And how could you? It was made of mostly plastic and very cheap metal, its not like you had funds to make it indestructible.
Or incombustible.
"Satisfied?" He asked you when you finally stopped looking for it.
You huff. "If you'd just given it to me before-"
"Y/n." He cut you off. "I lost my store. I lost my employee who was working in here, who was blasted to pieces. I lost more money than you can ever imagine and you have the nerve to stand there and try to blame it on me? After I'd given you the courtesy to look through my property to put your mind to ease?"
He admonished you, all while barely letting his rage slip through his voice. He was holding back from blowing up on you, but it did not help because you still felt small.
Because he is right. He lost an employee. He lost money. He lost too, and yet you have the audacity to complain to him like he was somehow at fault.
And he wasnt. Its not like he bombed his store.
"Do you know who did it?" You ask, diverting your eyes to avoid his piercing gaze.
"No one "did" it. It was an accident." Henry looked at the floorboard. "Apparently, there was gunpowder in some of the artefacts that came from China that day. The employee probably didnt check it when he put it on the table, next to a candle. Then one got lit up and it set off all the others, blowing up the whole store."
That... sounds like a big coincidence.
"Henry, are you sure someone wasnt behind this-"
"Y/n, I dont have time to entertain your wild theories right now. I have to deal with insurance and other things. Please leave." He cut you off abruptly.
Without giving him another moment to bruise your self esteem, you stormed out of his store. By the time you reached home, it was dark, which wasnt the best idea with a murderer on the loose- as the boys made it clear.
"Do you have any idea what he's capable of?! Have you seen the crime scenes?!" Liam yelled at you.
"No. But its not like I'm a prostitute, so he wont hurt me." You answer from your seat between Benjamin's legs, who insisted on brushing the knots out of your hair and placing some essential oils in your hair.
Liam looked at you like you'd grown two heads. "How would he know that?!"
You leaned forward, frowning. "Okay if you're saying that you cant the difference between a prostitute and me, then thats just insulting to me and to you as a police officer!"
Shepherd suppressed a chuckle as he handed a drink to Liam to calm him down. As they continued to joke around, you mind went to your time machine.
Sure, you could try making it from scratch again. It'll be difficult, and not just because there isnt enough technology to make the whole thing by yourself, but also because the mere idea of building a time machine could have you lobotomised.
So yes, one of the reasons why you agreed to marry Silas was because of his money that would not only let you buy expensive raw materials but also allow you to have a space to make the machine in secret.
Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Colin left to see who it was, returning moments later with a huge box in his hand.
"Its for you." He set the box down and handed you the letter that came with it. You read the letter while the boys opened the box-
"Tomorrow. 7:30 pm sharp.
Dont be late, missus."
The "missus" part gave away that it was from Silas. What was he planning? Were you supposed to go to his place or was he going to pick you up? What was going to happen tomorrow?
"Woah! Who is this from?" Shepherd asked as he looked at the fancy dress in the box. He pulled it out of the box, the gown flowing down effortlessly. "It looks expensive- this is expensive, right? Its expensive." He stated before repeating his question to you. "Who is it from, Y/n?"
You folded the letter as you saw them all looking at you. "I... I might have a date-"
"With who?" Benjamin asked sharply.
"I-" You sigh. "I'll let you know after the date. Lets see how it goes first."
"Oh, come on! Just tell us!" Liam probed, but you took the dress from him, putting it back in the box and taking it to your room, not noticing how silent Colin had went.
-
You stood in front of the mirror, looking at your reflection while Ben did your hair. Wearing the black velvet gown that had a white blouse and long skirt underneath, puffy regency era sleeves and a belt at the bust, you looked elegant.
Seeing as you had no jewellery to pair the outfit with, Ben styled your hair down, curling the locks and putting a dainty black silk bow on the back, trimming the front of your hair so that they framed your face.
"There's a carriage waiting for you!" Shepherd informed you before going back to gushing about the rich fella you'd managed to bag.
You turned around for Ben for the finishing touches. He smiled softly at you, taking your hands in his and squeezed them gently.
"Dont force yourself to do anything you're not comfortable with, hm? Just because he gave you this dress doesnt mean he can do anything he wishes." You nodded, returning his smile. "And remember, you have me and the boys to beat anyone who upsets you, Y/n." He winked making you giggle.
Standing outside the carriage, you looked up and waved to the 3 boys standing in the window before getting inside.
"Ah, I hope she knows how to use that knife I gave her." Liam mumbled, making Shepherd yell at him.
"You gave her a knife?!"
"What? She needs to protect herself when there's a murderer on the lose-"
As the two continued to bicker, Benjamin went to his room and packed some scissors and razors in a small bag, before leaving the room.
"Where are you going?" Colin asked, finally speaking for the first time that evening. Sitting on the sofa chair, he'd been nursing on a drink the entire time you were getting ready for your drink. He kept quiet, pretending to be to engrossed with reading the paper to notice you getting dressed for your date night.
"I... have a client." Ben said, putting on his top hat and leather gloves before wearing his coat.
"This late?" Colin raised a brow.
Ben gave a nod.
"He... he needs a haircut urgently."
Colin stared at him before sighing, picking up his drink.
"Alright. Be careful. Its foggy out there."
-
Sitting inside the carriage alone, you wondered where the buttler was taking you. Since Silas isnt here with you, then its likely that you're being taken to him at the FitzGeorge estate.
You take a deep breath, fiddling with the velvet of your dress. So tonight will be the night he announces his marriage to you. Or maybe not. I mean, if he did plan on doing that then perhaps he'd be giving you some pointers on how to win over his family? To get their approval? It was a big thing for high society, if not for someone who is loosely attached to royalty.
Maybe thats why he called you over tonight. To soft launch you to his family, something like- "hey, this is Y/n, a girl I fancy. I think she might be the one." so that it seems a lot more believable when he does introduce himself as your husband, probably a few weeks or a month from now.
Yes. Silas doesnt seem like the type to just spring up the union on his family out of nowhere. He is English, he is noble, he wouldnt be one to cause a scene.
The carriage stopped after sometime, and you could hear people chattering outside. Your door suddenly opened, but before you could step out, someone stepped in.
It was Silas.
He sat across from you, wearing a formal dress black suit, his hair styled properly. If your dressing didnt give it away, then his did- it was definitely a black-tie event.
He gave you a nod of acknowledgement, looking you up and down.
"Here, wear this." He handed you a velvet lined box. Opening it, you saw a beautiful pearl necklace and matching tear drop earrings.
"Oh, this is... beautiful." You said in awe. "You could've sent this along with the dress, I would've worn my hair differently-"
"No, I didnt want to risk you running off with it." Silas casually insulted you as he began opening the door. "Wear this and dont talk to me or approach me in there."
"Wait, what?" You looked at him confusion.
Silas huffed in irritation. "I'm going to go back inside. You'll walk in after five minutes, and when you do, you will not talk to me, or approach me or do anything that gives away that you know me."
"Silas-" But he left before you could question what he was on about.
So... he wasnt planning on announcing his marriage to you tonight? Wearing the jewellery, you followed his instructions and exited the carriage exactly five minutes later.
But instead of seeing the FitzGeorge house, you were standing in front of a... palace.
A palace you're seen quite a few times.
Buckingham palace.
"What am I...?" You whispered to yourself before composing yourself as other guests began walking past you.
As you ascended the stairs to the entrance where guards stood, you wondered if they'd let you in. Surely, without Silas by your side or an official invitation, they wouldnt let you in. You watched a few guests holding an envelope with a royal seal, an invitation they showed to the guards before being let in.
Heart pounding as you feared the embarrassment you're about to face, you reached the guards who looked at you for a few moments, trying to recognise you before their eyes fell on your necklace and they let you pass.
Ah, so thats why he gave you the jewellery. If you looked like you belonged there, then you probably did.
Why am I here though?
You looked around and saw many people inside, all belonging from high society. This definitely wasnt the place where Silas was going to announce his marriage. So why did he invite you here?
Maybe he wants me to use this as an opportunity to get dirt on high society?
Yes, perhaps, but how would this serve him? Is there a specific person he wants me to get dirt on? Someone I need to write about in the papers?
Silas, what game are you playing?
You spotted him standing in the corner, talking with his cousins and uncles, though you noticed many girls looking at him. Of course, he still is the "most eligible bachelor" to them. If they knew how rude he was, maybe they'd change their opinion.
Walking through the crowd, you began listening on conversations, trying to pick up on interesting bits. It was the usual obnoxious bragging about their wealth, some scandals here and there, disturbing comments about women, etc. Nothing particularly interesting.
Fortunately, you werent bored for long as the royal butler announced the arrival of the hosts. It hadnt truly hit you where you were standing until you heard her name-
"Her Majesty, Queen Victoria-"
Queen Victoria. The Queen Victoria.
You could feel goosebumps raising on your skin, your eyes widening as you realised you're looking at one of the most iconic figures in history. Alive. She's alive and she's walking right in front of you-
She's short. They were right about that. Standing next to her husband, Prince Albert, she looked even shorter. But she looked incredibly happy, full of youth as she stood next to him, unlike all the paintings who depicted her as this angry old widow.
She looked absolutely beautiful.
Her children stood behind her in order, all smiling at their mother. Her daughters, you recognised them all, looked just as beautiful. You recognised her eldest, Edward VII, a 20-something old boy who would end up being hated by his mother and blamed for his father's death. He looked nervous, standing beside her and you could see he was just itching to leave her side and avoid any more scrutiny.
The Queen began speaking.
"Thank you everyone for joining us on this pleasent occasion." She looked around. "Tonight, we are going to welcome a member to our family, even though he has always been a part of us. But now, we will make things official."
"Silas FitzGeorge." She called suddenly. You saw Silas step forward in front of the queen, bowing his head curtly before looking at her confidently.
"You're my cousin Georgie's grandson, and I have no doubt when I say that if he were here tonight, he'd be just as proud of the young man you've become as I am. Our families may have had some issues in the past, but I have always accepted you as a part of me. Over the years, you've only proven me right with how capable you've become on your own, without seeking a helping hand in your adversities. You have made us all immensely proud, as well as your predecessors for being the first man in our family to attend Oxford university. Watching you start businesses and expand your empire, I have no doubt that you will only continue to make the royal family and Britian proud. Therefore, I would like to offer my support and make good on my promise that I made to you when you were a child."
She turned around and a servant handed her a document.
"I hereby make Silas FitzGeorge, the Duke of Westminster."
Oh. Ohhhhh. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh-
This was Silas's dukedom ceremony. Why is this a huge deal? Because his grandfather, Prince George was once estranged from the royal family and stripped off his royal duties and benefits when he married Sarah Fairbrother, which meant their descendents were all illegitimate and not recognised by the crown.
But tonight, with Silas becoming a duke, its like a welcome back to the family. That too, by the same woman who had in essence- ostracised his family.
And with Dukedom comes other benefits, money, property, influence. Not to mention that Silas has become the duke of Westminster, as in THE WESTMINSTER! One of the wealthiest dukedoms to get, and also where Westminster palace is, the place which is the meeting place for the Parliament of United Kingdom. It'll allows Silas to have a say and play around with politics.
This is a huge gesture by the queen, and if Silas wasnt the most eligible bachelor before, then he definitely is one.
You watched the queen sign the documents first, before giving it to Silas who signed it. Everyone cheered and clapped for the young duke before stopping as Victoria began speaking again.
"Now, I would like to share more good news." She smiled at Silas, who stood beside her now. "I would like to announce the new duke's betrothal to my daughter, Helena."
What?
The guests clapped again as you saw Silas looking ahead, purposely avoiding your gaze. The queen beamed as she looked back at Helena, who was blushing.
So this is why Silas didnt want you to talking to him. He knew he was going to marry Helena, and he didnt want anyone to even doubt that he's associated with you in any way. Is this his way of telling you that the sham marriage between you two has ended?
Victoria encouraged Silas to say a few words.
Silas looked down briefly, a small smile playing on his lips. "Oh, wow. I am grateful that her majesty has awarded me dukedom. I dont have enough words to express how thankful I am to you." He looked up and you saw a mischievous glint in his eyes. "However, I was only informed of this ceremony and not of my betrothal beforehand."
The queen's head snapped in his direction, as did all of the royals, but Silas continued speaking unfazed.
"I wish I had been told about this earlier to avoid this awkward situation uhhh..." he chuckled nervously, but you could see he was anything but nervous. "I am honoured to be even considered for the princess's hand, your majesty, but I'm afraid I am already married." He announced, looking straight at you.
The hall interrupted into gasps and whispers before they parted the way to let Silas make his walk to you.
With a charming smile, a dimple on his left cheek, he approached you, pulling you into his arms as he leaned down to press a kiss to your temple.
"Hi, sweetheart." He whispered loud enough for the onlookers to hear. Your eyes widened, your face flushed at the feeling of everyone's eyes and at his word.
"Si-" The words died down your throat as he placed an arm around your back and pulled you close to his side, showing you off.
"This is Y/n, my darling wife."
With Silas's announcement, the hall went silent once again. Your throat went dry at being put in the spotlight, and your eyes flickered from one guest to another, until finally falling on the queen's, who looked... pissed.
Finally, it was Prince Albert who broke the silence and announced dinner had been served. As the guests began walking out of the hall, Silas lead you out of the palace and to the carriage where his grandmother was waiting for you.
"Go home, now. I'll see you soon." Was all Silas said to you before whispering something to his grandmother, who beamed and nodded, patting his cheek.
"Come on, Y/n. Its getting late, now." Sarah said as she lead you into the carriage, taking her seat next to you, completely unaware of the eyes that had been following you since the moment you'd left home.
-
Silas returned inside, seeing his uncles smirking with pride at the game he'd just played but instead of going to them to celebrate his victory, he went to Prince Albert and Queen Victoria who seemed to be arguing in a low tone in the corner while the guests were being seated in the dining hall.
Clearing his throat, he got their attention.
"Your majesties, I am so sorry for not informing you about my union with Y/n. Its just my wife is terribly shy and we wanted to keep this marriage a secret. But I understand how this creates an embarrassing situation for the crown, and I would like to humbly turn down my dukedom-"
"No." The queen cut him off, her eyes void of any emotion. "The dukedom was awarded to you for your achievements, not because you were asked to marry my daughter. Helena is not something to pawn off to just anyone."
Silas offered a sympathetic smile. "Of course, your majesty. I'm sure you'll find a better suitor for the princess." He took his bow before turning around to enter the dining hall while Victoria stared at his back.
"Are you really still going to keep him as the duke of Westminster?" Albert asked his wife.
She was fuming. But only Albert could tell.
"What choice did I have?" Victoria asked, still glaring at the young boy who dared to play her. "If I took the dukedom away after announcing it publicly, it would've been a far more embarrassment for the crown. They would call us "cheap"."
"We cant let him get away with it." Albert whispered. "Its Westminster. We may rule it, but the duke will still be able to influence the government."
"You think I'm not aware he wants to play politics?" Victoria snapped, before softening her tone. "I wont let him get away with it, Albert. He's just a boy. I am a queen. I wont let him or anyone humiliate us."
Silas sat down besides his cousins as his uncles raised their glasses to him. He sipped his drink, a satisfied grin resting on his face. He knew exactly what he did. Even though no one actually told him that the dukedom came with marriage to the princess, because how callous would it be to ask him to marry her when no one would give up the opportunity of becoming the queen's son-in-law, Silas knew he was expected to marry Helena.
But no one said it. No one asked him. Its the English, they never say what they mean outright, choosing to read between the lines and do what is expected of them, because its more artful, more honourable this way.
Not that Silas could care about traditions. Why would he, when he planned on exacting his revenge?
The queen only came to offer her support when he became successful enough on his own. Where was she when his parents died and his sister was left to take care of him? Sure, Victoria attended the funeral and "promised" to take care of him. But she also said she'd only do that if he proved himself. His grandmother and his sister, Daisy were the ones who raised him.
And now, years later when he got into Oxford without using his family name, without saying "I am related to the queen", when he used his skills to create a powerful business empire that has the potential to influence the British industries, she wants him?
Sure, Westminster has its benefits, but Silas doesnt need Westminster. Westminster needs Silas. He could topple over the government and even shut down Britain herself with just his influence alone. Being a duke just has given him a public platform, an acknowledgement and most importantly, backing from the crown.
And you? Marrying you wasnt just because you happened to be around. Oh no. Silas has plans for you, plans to use you and further his revenge. This is just the beginning.
-
Sarah dropped you back at your place after you insisted that you needed to inform your flatmates of your departure. She gave you a disapproving look when she found out you were living with 4 men and was very determined to have you move in with her and Silas at the FitzGeorge estate, but you were able to persuade her to let you stay the night at home one last time.
"There's something I need to tell you guys." You fiddled with your thumbs as they all sat down in front of you.
"I um... I'm married."
"What?" Shepherd asked. "And you still went on a date?"
"I went on a date with my husband-"
"And who is that?"
You took a deep breath.
"Silas FitzGeorge."
Everyone except for Benjamin broke into laughter.
"Yeah, good one. Seriously, who is it?"
You frowned. "Seriously. Its Silas FitzGeorge."
As you began explaining your situation, even showing them the jewellery that you definitely werent wearing before you left, they started to believe you.
"Y/n- you cant- you cant marry Silas. You cant just marry someone you barely know!" Colin argued.
"What? Havent you heard of "love at first sight"?" You ask but he was unamused. Sighing, you shrugged. "Look, its a marriage that will benefit us both mutually. He gets people nagging him to get married off his back and I get to use his money and influence to get dirt on high society! Besides, I can leave him anytime I want."
"Then leave him now, before its too late." Ben said, standing up as he approached you. He took your shoulders and gave them a firm squeeze. "If its money you're worried about, I'll help you. I can provide for you, Y/n. Dont get into bed with these rich bastards, you dont know how selfish they can be. I- I- dont want you to get hurt-"
"I wont, Benny." You grab his arms, assuring him. "Silas and I are working together. If I go down, so will he. He wont hurt me, he cant. Its too risky for him now, you know? He announced our marriage tonight in front of the queen!"
As you began telling him about how you met the queen and all, Colin quietly left the living room to pour himself another drink, something to knock his brain out so he doesnt have to think about you and Silas.
-
Next day, before the sun even rose, you had packed up a few of your things to go live with the FitzGeorges. All the boys were awake at that time, though Colin's eyes were bloodshot from apparently drinking the wrong liqour, so he sat quietly on the sofa, watching you.
Liam and Shepherd took your bags to put it in the carriage waiting outside, while Ben pulled you in for a hug.
"I'm just moving out, Benny! I'll still see you guys." You laugh, patting his back.
Ben kissed the crown of your head before tucking it under his chin, arms tightening around you. "Just know that you will always have a home here, with us. Dont hesitate to reach out for help. And if Silas or anyone every hurts you, I dont care how rich they are, Y/n. I will take care of them. You just- just come back to us, hm?"
You pulled away from him, wiping a lone tear from your eye. "You're the best, Benny." You whisper before going to Colin, who just stared at you with red eyes.
Leaning down, you poked his cheek. "Kinda wish you werent drunk when I said goodbye, but I guess it makes it easier." Colin continued to stare at you. You grabbed his hand, smiling gratefully at him. "Thank you for everything, Colin. You saved me. Truly." You gave his hand a firm squeeze before leaving, missing him mumble something under his breath.
The carriage took you to the FitzGeorge estate and you were a little disappointed to see only Sarah waiting to welcome you. Its not like you wanted Silas to make a grand gesture to welcome his bride, but you were kinda hoping he was going to ease you into his world while explaining the events of the previous night.
Sarah showed you around the house before leading you to Silas bedroom.
"Cadbury has already placed your bags in there." She turned to you. "This will be your space too, so do make changes to the place as you please."
You smiled shyly at her. Honestly, you dont know whether Sarah knows that Silas only married you for personal agenda, but she wasnt surprised when Silas announced you were his wife.
Sarah looked at you and she placed a hand on her chest, touched.
"Oh, I am so glad you're Silas's girl."
Silas's girl?
"When Silas told me he married you, I was only mad that he did it behind my back! But I suppose it is understandable... these FitzGeorge men always liked to make a statement when it came to love." Sarah said, fondly remembering her late husband.
Sarah continued to gush about you enough for you to know that you dont need to kiss her ass. You have her approval.
When she left, you looked around the large bedroom, Victorian and dark academia was the aesthetic. Wooden panels lined the room, the shelves were stocked with thick books, a study table in one corner, an ottoman chest seat in front of the bed. The entire room was illuminated by the large windows that opened into the balcony, overlooking the large gardens and the cold air of London.
Standing at his balcony, you couldnt help but wonder...
Silas definitely has to HAVE a mega douchebag personality if this was where he was raised.
I mean who wouldnt have an ego trip if they woke up to a view like this, a butler named CADBURY who probably brings him his bland tea and tells him about all the proposals he had, and Silas would just wave a hand in dismissal, telling his butler to reject them all on his behalf.
Silas lived like a king. Or at the very least, lived like the 1% of Britain.
Returning back into the room, you looked at the interior before a grin formed on your face.
Time to snoop around, Y/n. You made your way to his desk.
Lets see what secrets you're hiding, husband.
-
Silas walked in on you folding your clothes and placing them in his closet.
"What do you think you're doing?" He huffed, loosening his tie. He was still in his clothes from last night, having just returned home after celebrating with his uncles and cousins.
You turned to him, faking enthusiasm. "Hello to you too."
Silas rolled his eyes, sitting on his bed. "Dont touch my things." He began untying his shoes.
"Why? You worried my poverty would taint them?"
He looked you dead in the eyes.
"Yes."
"Haha." You close the closet and turn to him. "We need to talk."
He looked at you miserably. "Cant it wait-" "No."
"Fine, then. Go on, I'm listening." He leaned against the headboard while you took your place on the foot of the bed.
"Why didn't you tell me last night that we were going to the palace? Or that you were going to announce our marriage?"
Tired eyes looked at you. "I didnt want to risk you getting cold feet."
Okay. Fair enough.
You gave him a nod. "Fine. Still would've liked a heads-up." "I'll keep that in mind for next time. Good night-" He began closing his eyes when you spoke again.
"No. We still need to talk about our situation." You looked at your lap, smoothing your dress before looking at him again, only to find his tired eyes studying you.
"Silas, who knows that our marriage is not... real?"
"It is a real marriage. We signed proper documents and all." He told you. "What you mean to ask is who knows our marriage is like mutually beneficial business deal? The answer is- no one, except for my butler and his wife, who wont say a word. And I want it to stay that way."
You raised a brow. "So... what exactly is the image you're trying to sell to the world? That we're a young couple, madly in love?"
He shrugged. "Sure."
"Silas." Your tone turned serious. "If you want people to believe this fairytale you're creating, then you need to get your stories straight. And involve me in it too!"
He tilted his head at you before sighing. "Fine. Lets say... we met two months ago."
"Where?"
He grinned. "Ballet theatre. Near Oxford university."
"Ballet theatre- are you trying to use your grandparents story?"
He shrugged. "So what if I am? Besides, people will love it."
You glared at him, but he continued on with his story. "So we met at the ballet theatre, you fell madly in love with me the first time you saw me. Your exact words were- "Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father, have I died and went to heaven to witness the utter beauty of an angel-"
"I have seen rodents looking better than you." You cut him off.
"You're ruining my story." He scolded you. "Fine, we can say that after you were mesmerised by my beauty, you stalked me for a few weeks until I finally said yes out of pity-"
"Silas."
He raised his hands in surrender. "Alright, alright. I'll leave the details to you, just remember- we met at the theatre. Thats the most important part of the story."
"Okay, I'll add my version of the events, which you can read in the papers in a day or two." You stood up, walking over to the vanity. "I will be going to work from tomorrow. I'll tell your grandmother I'm going to visit some friends, and you'll drop me off at my old place where I'll change my clothes and then I'll go to the office."
"Very well." He turned his head to look at you. "But after you're done writing about us, continue working on the White Chapel murders."
You hummed, turning around. "Dont worry, I should be able to get access to the letters in a few days. Wait- Silas, didnt you say your friend owned the paper I worked for?" He nodded. "Well, can you ask him if he could let me, I mean- assign Sherlock Holmes to work on the case? You could bribe him with giving an exclusive interview about your marriage for the papers, in return, he has to let me work the murder story."
"Consider it done." Silas said, putting his arm over his eyes.
"Um, Silas?"
"What?" He asked, annoyed.
"Where am I to sleep?" With Sarah in the house, its not like you can occupy another room. It'll raise suspicion.
Silas removed his arm to look at you, before looking at his large bed.
You shake your head. "I am not sleeping in the same bed with you-"
"I wouldnt want that either." He said, grabbing a pillow. Your heart warmed at the gesture. He really was going to leave his bed for you, like the true gentleman-
Thud.
You looked at the pillow he'd thrown on the floor.
"There." He pointed before returning to bed.
"You want me to sleep on the floor?"
With his eyes closed, he replied. "You say that like you expected me to sleep on the floor."
"Well-"
"Its my room, my bed. Why would I sleep on the floor?"
"I dont know, whats the word- chivalry?!" You huffed, grabbing the pillow and walking near the closed balcony window. It was cold but you'd rather sleep with a pretty view than to wake up to Silas feet landing on your face.
Muttering curses under your breath, you soon fell asleep with your back turned to Silas. A few minutes later, he got off the bed and dropped a blanket on your sleeping body.
And they say chivalry is dead. He thought to himself, returning to his bed.
-
The next day, while dropping you off to work, you brought up the previous day's convo.
"I need something." Silas's gaze flickered from the window of the carriage to you. "What do you know about Henry Blackwood?"
Silas' looked bored again. "He's a fellow businessman, invests in people rather than companies, likes to keep his operations in the dark, which means he has secrets. His shop blew up some time ago, allegedly a "technical failure" but... I think someone did it."
"You think so too?" You asked, hopeful. "Do you know who?"
Silas shook his head. "No. His enemies, like his operations are secret. All I know is someone did it to send a message to him, blew up the shop deliberately while he was out."
A message?
"I want to get dirt on him." You watch Silas raise a brow at you. "Just... get me close to him, or to his people. I saw him talking to your uncles, maybe they know something?"
Silas shakes his head again. "My uncles talk to anyone who has money. Henry wouldnt ever invest in them, they couldnt manage a business for the life of them."
"And you? Would Henry invest in you?"
Silas nodded. "He's tried. I wasnt interested." He cut you off before you could even suggest the idea. "And I'm still not interested. But I'll get you close to him."
"Thank you." You settled back in your seat before remembering another request. "Silas?"
"What now?"
"Can I have some money?"
"Here's a pound-" You glared at him, making him sigh. "How much?"
"Mmhm, oh I dont know... just enough to buy a small house-"
"And why do you need a house?"
You looked at him dumbfounded. "Well, when our marriage goes to the sewers, I would like to have a roof over my head."
"And what if I say I dont intend on ending this marriage?" Your blood ran cold at his words.
"What?"
Silas tilted his head at you before chuckling. "Why have you turned pale? If anyone should be horrified at the prospect of staying married in this mismatch, completely unbalanced relationship, it should be me. Struck down, caught out of the lake in his prime, of both beauty and brain-"
"Oh God, please stop talking before blood starts pouring out of my ears."
"So you agree your voice is irritating enough to do that?" Silas remarked smirking.
"Shut up." You flared your nostrils at him. Why does he have to ruin my mood this early in the day?
He chuckled victoriously, looking out the window. "I'll get you the house. You dont need money for it." He looked at you, already knowing you'd be confused. He grinned, pointing to himself. "Duke of Westminster-" he then points at you. "Duchess of Westminster."
Of course. Now that you're married to the duke, you have a whole lot of land in your hands. You really can have a house anywhere you'd like.
The carriage stopped. "Off you go now, wife."
Entering the office, you were first greeted by Will, the man in charge on working on the White Chapel murders.
"Holmes! How did you do it?" He shook you by the shoulder gleefully. "How did you convince the boss to post my story next?!"
I married his friend. "Oh, I just... promised him an article. Once I give him that, we can work together on the murder story."
He nodded, ushering you to finish off your article first before helping him.
Making your way to your desk, you spotted Colin. "Hey, Colin-" But he walked right past you, as if he didnt hear you.
Maybe he didnt. You shrugged, sitting down at your desk as you began writing down the news about you and Silas.
-
"Oh, Mr Holmes has definitely written most accurately about you Y/n!" Sarah said as she read the papers at the breakfast table. "He calls you the "fairest maiden in town" and "beauty with brains"- oh, I couldnt agree more!"
You smiled, sipping your tea sheepishly while Silas rolled his eyes. Its been 3 days since you wrote an article announcing your marriage to the world, and the editor decided to post it on Sunday, when you and most of London had off from work, all tuning in to read "how the most eligible bachelor bagged the fairest maiden in town."
Sarah ate some of the dishes you'd prepared today. "These are absolutely delicious, Y/n! Silas, your wife-" A maid came in to inform her that there's someone at the door to meet her. As Sarah excused herself, you got up from your seat to serve Silas the food you'd made on Sarah's request.
Silas picked up his fork and took a bite, a smile forming on his lips.
"Have I ever told you how good of a cook you are?"
You blushed, looking down. "No-"
"Then why do you keep cooking?" He dropped his fork on the plate, pushing it aside. "Stop using my kitchen." He smirked as he drank his tea, watching rage take over your face.
"Listen you twat-"
Sarah came back rushing in, a worried look on her face. Silas immediately sat up. "What is it, nana?"
"The- there was someone here from the palace." She gulped. "They sent flowers and a letter congratulating you two on the marriage. They... they said they'd like to meet Y/n and- and welcome the new couple officially."
Silas understood Sarah's worry. The palace never writes to them. In fact, the last time they did, it was years ago when his parents had died.
Getting up from his seat, Silas wiped his face with a napkin before dropping it on the table. "Then we'll let them. We shall host the Queen."
"Si-" But he took her by the shoulders, easing Sarah's worry.
"Dont worry. This is our home, nana." We have the advantage.
Silas left to start making arrangements for hosting the queen at the estate, while Sarah ran around the house with the staff to prepare for the event that is a week from now. Seeing as you couldnt be of use there and everyone was too busy to give you any pointers on what to say or act when the queen arrives, you left the estate to explore the town. Or more specifically, return to the blown up vintage store.
Yep, you're still hoping your time machine survived.
When you arrived on Regent street, you saw the same men still guarding the store, so they probably still wouldn't have let you in. But you also saw Henry, who was leaving the store and in his carriage.
Deciding to follow him, you sneaked into the back of someone's carriage and rode it before jumping off it when it got near Henry's carriage. Fortunately, you didnt have to follow him for long as he got off on Piccadilly street soon and strolled into a place called "The Gentlemen's Club" and from the looks of the daunting bouncers standing outside, you knew you couldnt just stroll in like Henry.
You watched the people who seemed to walk into the club, mostly men, all dressed formally and looked like they were a part of the high society. You saw some women too, though most of them dressed scandalously, so you assume they were there to provide entertainment.
As the sun began setting, more and more people started entering the club and just when you were about to leave, you saw Henry walk out of the club, a frown settled on his face. You werent expecting him to leave the club so soon, not when more people had started going in there, to rave or whatever. If Henry was here for pleasure, then he came out too early. If he was here for business, then most of the club goers have just begun entering, which means that whoever he wanted to conduct business with was already in there. Someone who works at the club... maybe even owns it?
As you turned to leave, you felt someone bump into you.
"Watch where you're going!" The blonde haired woman shrieked at you before crossing the street to go to the club.
You huffed. Everyone's got a giant stick up their-
You whipped your head around, feeling someone watching you. And thats when you spot it- a shadowy figure of a man, standing in the window of the club, on the second floor. Henry? No, he left. Then...?
The shadow didnt move, staring at you until it creeped you enough to make you leave.
-
Silas finally sat down after working all day. Cadbury brought him his evening tea.
"How are the preparations coming along?" He asked his butler. Cadbury informed him of the arrangements he's made and the guest list he's written down that needs his approval before he sends out the invitations.
"And the seamstress will come tomorrow to make a gown for Miss Y/n-"
Silas cut him off. "No need. Send the seamstress to me first. I'll let her know what kind of clothes need to be made for the event, then she can take Y/n's measurements."
"As you wish, sir." Cadbury said, but Silas could see something troubling the young butler. They werent that apart in age, and both of them had practically grown together, each reading the other person well.
"What's the matter, Cadbury?" Silas set his teacup down.
Cadbury took a deep breath. "Its just- I dont understand why the palace is suddenly coming to visit you, after what happened at the dukedom ceremony. It was certainly... humiliating for them, so why would they be coming to welcome Miss Y/n into the family?"
Silas grinned. "They're coming to see who I replaced the princess with." He picked up his cup. "They couldnt break me down, so they're going to try their luck with the missus. There's another reason why the queen is coming, but you let me worry about that."
Cadbury looked concerned. "Then we should prepare Miss Y/n to make no mistakes."
"Dont worry, she wont." Silas smiled, making his butler even more confused. "Speaking of, did you observe her when she was cooking in the kitchen today?"
Cadbury nodded. "Yes. And as you'd said, she didnt touch, let alone cook with bacon or wine despite my insistence that its your favourite. She replaced the meats, and didnt use any alcohol at all!"
Silas chuckled, his eyes gleaming with intent. "Perfect. Just as I'd suspected." He looked at Cadbury again. "Are there any leftovers from the food she'd made?"
"Yes. I was about to throw it out-"
"No. Bring them to me. I'll eat them. If Y/n asks, tell her you fed it to the dogs and then they got violently sick." Cadbury was confused as he left to bring him the food. He thought that Silas didnt like your cooking, at least from what he'd heard him say to you.
Oh. Maybe the young duke just doesnt want to acknowledge that he enjoyed your food.
-
A week passed by quickly and the day of the royal dinner came. You were freaking out because Silas had barely spoken two words to you about how to act or what to say, just telling you to act as yourself and he'll take care of the rest.
"What the hell...?" You muttered, watching your reflection in the mirror. Okay, you're not a conservative, but even you knew that this plunging neckline was a little too much skin for this time period, especially in front of the queen!
You were wearing a white satin and lace gown- wedding gown, if you were being honest. All that was missing was a veil, but you guess that would be a little too much on the nose. The dress was beautiful, no doubt, but it was missing a whole lot of cloth around the neckline, the tight corset making your chest puff out slightly more with a snatched waist. Your collar bones looked prominent, but you would credit that to the bland food served in London. Seriously, why do they act like vampires when it comes to adding garlic?
"Your husband had this dress designed specifically for you, madame!" The seamstress told you as she added her finishing touches. "He must love you a lot!" You resisted the urge to roll your eyes as you wore the jewellery he'd sent for you.
Yes. Thats why I sleep on the floor while he sleeps in his bed. Hope he suffocates under those plush sheets. My backache is the sign of our true love.
"Oh, who did that to your hair?" You heard a voice behind you and you turned around quickly.
"Benny!" You squealed, watching Ben, Liam, Shepherd and Colin enter your room. "Ah, I'm so glad you all came."
"Of course we did. There's free booze-" Shepherd smacked Liam on the back of his head. "We're here because we're happy for you."
"And because they wanted to see the queen." Colin said, rolling his eyes, making the other two bicker with him.
"How's Silas treating you? Are you happy?" Ben asked in a low tone as he fixes your hair.
Oh Ben. He reminds you so much of Qasim. "Yes, Benny. Silas is very good to me. I couldnt be happier."
Ben had a sad smile on his face as he nodded.
Just a few minutes later, Silas entered your room. "Y/n. Gentlemen." He nodded to them, before pulling you aside. "I need to talk to you."
You looked at him surprised. Silas was concerned. He was nervous about something. You've never seen him break a sweat.
"What is it, Silas?"
"The queen is onto us."
"What?"
Silas looked at you exasperated. "She knows about our sham marriage." He casted a look to the boys, who were pretending like they werent trying to hear what he was whispering to you. Silas pulled you close by your elbow to whisper. "I have a source telling me that the queen knows you... you're not a Christian. That you're a Muslim."
You pull back to look at him wide eyed. "How- how did she- how did you-?"
"I suspected, you confirmed it now. But she knows. And she's coming here tonight to expose us. If she tells everyone tonight, then she'll be able to take away my dukedom and she will make our lives hell!"
Your throat went dry. "What- what do we do?"
"There's a way." Silas grip on your arm tightened. "We get married for real."
You tilted your head in confusion before shaking your head at what he was implying. "Silas, no-"
"We get a Nikkah."
A Nikkah? If... if you get a Nikkah with him, an Islamic wedding ceremony, then you'll be married to him for real. No- no, the only reason you'd agreed to his proposal was because you knew it was a fake marriage, it didnt really affect your conscious because it was a sham! But-
"No. Silas-"
"Y/n, please." Silas pleaded. "Dont make me beg. If the queen finds out, everything I've worked so hard for, it'll be for naught. She'll take it all away. Dont you- dont you want to help catch the lunatic behind those murders? Dont you want to make a difference by writing? If you dont do this, if you dont stand by me, we'll both be done for!"
You looked at him conflicted, your resolve starting to break as he continued to talk. "My sister, my parents, my grandfather... my family... they need me, Y/n. They need me to pull this off, for me to reinstate our honour, for me to remove the stain and stigma from my family's name. Please, I'm asking you to do this for me... for my family." He swallowed thickly, his eyes boring into you with intensity. "You once told me you lost everything. I'm telling you now that I'll lose everything if we dont do this. Will you let me lose everything, Y/n?"
Lose everything? Everything?
You shake your head. "No, Silas. I... I wont let you lose everything."
10 minutes later, there was an imam in your room. Silas had somehow managed to find an imam in London to marry you two off. But you suppose when you're so rich and well connected, you can find anyone.
This is happening. This is really happening.
With Ben, Colin, Liam and Shepherd as your witnesses and Cadbury and his wife as Silas's witnesses, the imam began the Nikkah ceremony.
Am I really getting married?
You watched the imam ask Silas some questions, and you tuned them out except for one.
"Are you a Muslim?"
You looked up. A flicker of hope! Yes! If Silas isnt a Muslim, he cant marry you! The Nikkah wont happen, or at the very least wont be real because he's not Muslim! He cant marry you, this will still be a sham marriage, a paper marriage and your conscious will be clear and you wont feel like throwing up-
"Yes. I converted an hour ago." Silas informed the imam. "I took my shahada, in sound mind and state, of my own will without any pressure or coercion."
No. Oh no-
"Do you take Y/n to be your wife?"
"I do."
"Do you take Y/n to be your wife?" The imam repeated.
"I do."
"Do you take Y/n to be your wife?" He asked again.
"I do." And with that, Silas signed the Nikkah contract. The officiant then turned to you.
"With the agreed mahr, do you take Silas to be your husband?"
"Mahr?" You whisper in a daze. The officiant looks confused. "Do you not know what your mahr is?"
Mahr is a gift to the bride given by the groom. It is a symbol of the groom's promise to care and provide for the bride. You're more surprised that Silas even knew what Mahr is.
"It must've slipped my mind to tell you." Silas looked at Cadbury, who handed him a document. "For your Mahr, I give you Westminster palace." You looked at the document, he really had signed it over to you!
"Silas..." You say in disbelief, your hands trembling a bit. He smiled reassuringly at you. "You wanted a house. Here's one."
House? He gave me a palace!
"Do you take Silas to be your husband?" The imam asked you. You stared at Silas, at his content face. He didnt have to sign over a whole palace to you, much less one which he'd just gotten from the queen!
And he looked perfectly content with his decision. Not a shadow of doubt. He... he trusts you? Trusts that you'll maintain this union? Wont run out on him- wont betray him?
"I do."
Does he believe that this marriage will last?
"I do."
Does he trust you?
"I do."
You signed the papers, your eyes still in a daze as Silas smiles charmingly at you before pulling you close to hug you. You hear everyone clap around you as he leans down to whisper in your ear.
"Thank you."
-
Silas escorted you to the dining room where all the guests were waiting. You were still quiet and in a trance as you walked by him, with your hand around his arm.
He's surprised it didnt make you suspicious with how quickly he'd found an imam. Truthfully speaking, Silas knew you were a Muslim when he first proposed to you. He had his doubts, which were confirmed by his observations especially with your aversion to foods that were forbidden for Muslims. And yes, the queen had also found out about you being a Muslim, but only because he spread the rumour to them.
The Nikkah documents, the ceremony, the Mahr, he had already planned it the moment he found out that the queen was coming over. And the reason why he waited until the last minute to spring this out on you was so that you would be pressured into saying yes. He just couldnt risk you taking time to think this through.
You may still be under the impression that Silas chose you because it was circumstantial or whatever, but he chose you to be his wife precisely because you were a Muslim. Oh he has plans to use you.
You're everything the English monarchy hates, what it stands for. You're not prim and proper, despite your best attempts. You work, that too disguised as a man, and you're far too strong willed and determined to prove yourself unlike the British high society women.
He knows the crown wont be happy to have Muslim bride in the family, much less a Muslim duke who just so happily signed off Westminster palace to his wife.
A Cheshire grin graced his lips, which people mistook for glee for being with his blushing bride. He's going to have fun ruffling the queen's feathers. He's going to tilt the palace upside down.
Curtsying to the queen, Silas immediately noticed and took great pleasure in the queen's displeasure at your dress. Yes, he specifically chose a wedding gown that showed too much skin for the conservative monarch.
"Your majesty, this is Y/n, my sweetheart." Silas introduced you so lovingly, you couldnt help but be flustered as you avert your eyes to the ground.
"Its an honour to meet you, your majesty." You manage to say without throwing up.
Victoria casted one unamused look to you. "Very interesting choice for clothing."
Oh shit. Shit. Shit. She hates it. I knew it-
Silas's hand gently grasped yours. "Thank you, your majesty. I chose it for her after being inspired by a painting my love gifted me. Ah, let me show it to you."
You already knew it was the stupid portrait he was talking about, and you wanted to hide away into a corner as you saw the disapproval on the queen's face- God, she doesnt mask any emotion, does she?
The queen turned to Silas. "I have heard a rumour and I would like you to address it now." She said, glancing at you.
Silas nodded, leaning down to press a kiss to your temple. "Why dont you go and help nana with the guests? I'll be right with you."
Sarah was introducing to the guests, but your head was preoccupied with Silas and the queen. They are definitely talking about me-
"Y/n, this is Mr Blackwood." You stared at the familiar face. "Oh please, Sarah. No need to be formal with me." He smiled charmingly. "Besides, miss Y/n and I have met before."
"Well, thats wonderful! You two talk- I have to find my troublesome grandsons before they embarrass me!" Sarah left you with Henry.
"Congratulations on your wedding." He said with exaggerated joy, though his eyes expressed anything but that. "I'm sure he offered you a lot of money for putting up a show. I just wish you'd told me about it before."
"Excuse me?" You frowned. "I'm not putting up a show."
He raised a brow. "Really? You expect me to believe that a FitzGeorge wants to marry you? Out of the blue?" He throws a look to your gown. "That this wedding dress wasnt him trying to just convince the world that you're his wife?"
Your jaw ticked. "You're right. This dress is Silas's way telling everyone we're married. Because we were married on paper before, but I have an imam, 4 witnesses and a Nikkah document stating that Silas and I are married, both in the eyes of the law and God." You watched Henry's face fall. What use was it lying when he already heard of the rumours. Rolling your eyes, you turned to leave, only for him to reach out and grab your arm.
"Why are you doing this?" Henry asked you, looking for any signs of you lying. He didnt find any. "You know you dont belong with him-"
"Oh? I dont?" You snapped. "Who do I belong with? No, go on. Tell me."
He pulled you close, looking into your eyes. "Me. You belong to me. You know it, you felt it- we have something. We have-" He lowered his voice. "I can give you everything you want. Whatever you'd lost in my shop, I'll find it again. I'll travel the world for it, just- come to me. Leave Silas."
"That is the most pathetic thing I've heard come out of a man's mouth." You yanked your hand out of his grasp, walking away from him. The next time you saw him, he was busy talking with Victoria's heir- Prince Edward VII.
"Sweetheart, there you are!" Silas grabbed you, pulling you along. "I was just telling her majesty about how we met. You remember, love?" He shot you a knowing look.
You nodded, remembering what you two had practised. "Yes. We met at the ballet theatre near Oxford. It was love at first sight-"
"Ballet theatre?" Victoria's voice was sharp. Your heart dropped as you tried to follow up on your lie. See, this is why you two should've discussed this because its hard to lie on the spot!
"She's an amazing ballerina! Ah! I was immediately charmed by her art! She bewitched me!" Silas said cheekily and you wanted to smack him for saying "bewitched" because this is still Victorian era and sure, they dont have witch trials anymore, but why would he risk even the accusation when it is literally the queen's ancestors who had a major part in burning up "witches" in the 1600s!
Look, people back then were dumb and evil, which is a really bad combination.
"Is she now?" Victoria looked at you now, with those piercing eyes. "I would love to attend a show of yours. See what these FitzGeorges fancy so much."
Oh she knows. You can see it, hear it in her monotonous voice that she knows Silas is lying.
And yet this dumbass continues to lie. "Of course! We'll host you for... Christmas eve?"
As Victoria left, you glared at Silas. "Why would you say that?! I'm not a ballerina and you invited her to watch me dance? Do you want to get caught?!"
Silas tutted at you. "You worry too much. Its not that hard, you know. Besides, you have my grandmother to teach you. Ah yes, nana will love it-"
"Silas!" You stopped him. "I cant learn ballet in a month!"
"Not with that attitude-"
"We will get caught. You will be caught, and I will be embarrassed and- and- I wont let anyone make a fool out of me, Silas!" He pulled you into his chest, shushing you.
"I wont let anyone make a fool out of you either, Y/n." He pulled your head back to look at you with those deceptively charming eyes. "You carry my name next to yours now. You're my wife now, and by association, your dignity is my dignity now. I wont let anyone make a mockery of us, Y/n."
You looked up at him and you believed him. How could you not, when lying comes so easily to Silas?
He watched Sarah console you, promising to help you learn. Silas his his smile as he picked up his glass, enjoying his plan falling into place.
Ah, it would be a pity to see your heart break when the entire theatre laughs at you.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/3ae74e5ff0642a9a3d3daaefd55891a7/93706a5591c59a95-e7/s540x810/ab385b818a13492ed884e085a3ed66d96a9b785e.jpg)
Thoughts????
#time traveller au#yandere x darling#yandere#yandere male#male yandere#yandere boyfriend#soft yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere x y/n#silas my oc
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fuck-me eyes and first times (roman godfrey x reader)
WARNINGS: 18+, piv sex, loss of virginity, inexperienced sex?, oral sex (female receiving), mutual masturbation, awkward real moments lol, dry-humping, use of contraceptives, drunk driving, Roman using his powers for good?, blood, FLUFF, a dash of angst
summary: you've been unlucky with your first times all your life-- but tonight, you're sleeping with the equivalent of your shooting star.
word count: 12,140 (i love you guys, do u see)
PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 11
a/n: FINALLY THEY’RE FUCKING ISTG?? tihiii this is a bit of a different chapter!! i'm dead tired of reading smut where everything goes perfectly the first time and they barely communicate, so hopefully this will be a bit more realistic (hopefully!!) sorry for the wait, and hope you enjoy!!!!!!;)
The first time I broke a bone, I kicked my foot into the wall in a fit of rage.
The first time I got an A on a test, I cheated by writing the answers under my skirt.
And the first time I lost a friend? That was the story of how I got here in the first place.
To say my track record for first times was bad, was an understatement. I didn't see myself as an angel of the world. However, as I glanced to the side for a brief moment at an intersection, I looked directly at the man who'd often joke he was the devil. Roman had spread out in the passenger seat, still a little drunk as his long legs rested against the dashboard. It didn't matter how many times I told him to take them down, that if I were to crash his car he'd fold in two and die-- he didn't care.
We were still a little intoxicated from the party, but I was in a better condition than him, which was why I was driving; something he'd never let me do if he wasn't in this state. Roman's head lolled back against his seat, his eyes closing as he hummed along to the music. Space Song by Beach House was always my favorite song to drive to at night, and I was glad he seemed to like it as well.
The first time I heard this song, I had been driving home after getting introduced to Letha at a party. I was over the moon, happy to have finally found a person in this wretched town that I could enjoy the company of. I had been so dreadfully bored of all the others.
Letha was a good hugger. A good listener-- never scared to tell the truth, especially as we grew closer.
"Roman is my baby cousin, I love him to death, but damn he can be annoying," she had said, smiling at me as she leaned against the kitchen counter. "The amount of friends I have lost to him is just crazy. Every single one seems to fall over like dominoes whenever he's around, and honestly? I don't get it. Maybe it's because we're related and all, but there has to be a fucking limit to how many times something like this can happen? How many times can he sleep with my friends and get away with it? Him doing that is the same as me sleeping with Peter, it's just not okay! I would never fucking do that! This situation is becoming hysterical, to be honest."
I remember frowning-- "Hysterical?"
"Yeah... If I wasn't so pissed at him, I'd just laugh at the absurdity," Letha's green eyes remained kind despite the heaviness of the topic. "But at the end of the day, I'm glad I get to keep you to myself. My previous friends were nothing compared to you."
Letha's words were sweet, but something felt off. I smiled as I spoke, hoping to keep my query a light one; "What do you mean, keep me to yourself? Gonna chain me up, Letha?" I gave her shoulder a nudge as she laughed.
"Not like that, you freak! I mean that Roman doesn't seem interested in you at all, so I feel safe that you'll stay. And if he were to be, you'd never do anything like that to me," She put away her empty can of beer, and something in her eyes shifted just a smidge-- I wouldn't have caught it if my senses hadn't been sharpened by the mention of his lack of interest in me.
"... Right?" Letha asked, urging a response. It seemed to dawn on her that she sounded on the brink of bitterness, and she broke out into an even wider smile to compensate; "You don't seem like the type to sleep with my cousin, but maybe I'm wrong?"
"Never," was what I had answered that night.
Never... Gosh, I was delusional to think I could behave.
Once again, I glanced at Roman at the next red light, watching the way one strand of hair strayed from his stylings and laid in a soft wave over his forehead. He opened his big, green eyes, smirking as he realized he was being watched-- "Eyes on the road,"
It was embarrassing how fast I blushed. I quickly nodded, gripping the steering wheel harder as I fixated on the red light above us. "Was it the next intersection I needed to get off on?" I asked, hoping not to linger on the subject of my peeking. "Could you maybe turn on the GPS on my phone just in case you fall asleep?"
"I'm not sleeping," Roman prompted, holding out his hand to take my phone.
As I reached for it in my back pocket, I felt it vibrate as the lights turned green. I gave Roman my phone, in a rush to not miss the light even though we were the only ones on the highway. "Who's calling?"
Roman didn't answer me-- I pieced together who it was when he started greeting my mom.
Oh no.
I freed one hand from the steering wheel, trying to get a hold of my phone as Roman quietly laughed at my attempt. I didn't succeed; "Yeah, she's here," he said, grinning as he motioned for me to keep driving. "I hoped to have her stay over at my place tonight, as my mother is desperate to meet your lovely daughter."
I rolled my eyes, mouthing a simple fuck you. Roman had to bite down on his lip to suppress a laugh-- we both knew his mom was out of town and that his intentions were far from anything as pure as to introduce me to her.
My mom seemed flustered by his pleasantries on the other side of the phone, but I couldn't make out the specifics of what she was saying. It didn't sound like she was objecting, though.
Roman nodded along as he turned down the music on the stereo and (finally) removed his legs off the dashboard. "No, of course, I wouldn't dream of giving your daughter any alcohol! Yes-- Yes, we were at a party just now, but we're both sober as rocks!" He glanced at me, mischief dancing in the green of his eyes.
The look on his face now was priceless. Although he was lying to my mom right up her face (her ear?), he still looked damn charming as always.
"Uh-huh..." Roman mumbled, now reciting his phone number at her request. "We'll probably be up having dinner, so you can call me anytime if you have any questions!-- Yes, I know it's late to have dinner, but my mother is European like that. Your daughter is in good hands, don't worry!"
I rolled my eyes once more, knowing how fond my mom was of him and how easily she'd eat all of this up. When Roman finally got off the call, he broke out into a string of laughter-- "Your mom is so damn sweet, but I can tell she's terrified we'll have sex. It seems you've taken after her,"
"I'm not terrified!" I whined, turning left to get off the highway.
He snorted; "I was two seconds away from telling her I have a stash of condoms, and that she shouldn't worry about having to take care of a mini-me when you leave for college,"
I did my best not to blush-- this conversation was getting more and more suggestive. "Shut up," I mumbled. "I'm not terrified."
Roman's eyes softened as he sat back in his seat and watched me drive his car. I knew I was giving away my true feelings regarding the matter with the way I was anxiously tapping my fingers against the steering wheel. I continued; "I just had you locked in a closet trying to convince you I'm not. It's not that big of a deal,"
"Relax, I'm just teasing you," Roman ran his fingers through his hair, gazing into the rearview mirror to check how messed up it had gotten. His red car had an open roof, after all. He sighed, trying to choose his next words wisely. "Not a big deal, you say?"
"Well..." I was unsure whether to be honest or not.
Roman nodded, looking out at all the trees passing us by. His silence was unnerving, and I turned up the music to tune it out. I couldn't stand this. Something in him switched; Maybe he was upset that I said it wasn't a big deal? Or maybe he was realizing it was a big deal to him? I needed to change the subject; "This is the right direction, no? I feel like I'm just driving deeper into the forest--"
"I've never told you this, but after the first time we kissed, I kept having the same dream where never left the seven minutes in heaven closet," Roman placed his head in the palm of his hand as he leaned his elbow against the car door, sighing. "Over and over, every night. Nearly drove me mad. And in the dream, there were no seven minutes, no time limit. So it was just you and I, and we were going at it like fucking crazy."
I held my breath, my eyes widening further with every sentence. What? Was he drunk-rambling or was this something else?
Roman sighed again, attempting to relax as he closed his eyes and stilled in his seat. Like this, I could nearly mistake him for being asleep. "It all started with me wanting to fuck you," he mumbled. "But every night, at the end of the dream, I got greedy... Because suddenly, I also wanted you to love me."
Had I not been good at keeping calm, I would've probably crashed the car into the nearest tree. I didn't get much time to process, to feel the weight of his confession, until Roman snapped out of it like a character taken straight out of an animation, now sitting up; "Turn here,"
I drove up to a huge gate, stopping the car as I tried to steady my breathing. "Roman--"
"Two seconds," he said, getting out of the car to walk up to the intercom. He was as good as normal now.
I was left still gripping the steering wheel for dear life, my mouth opening and closing as I tried to find the right words. I watched as Roman typed in a code, and the massive gate slowly opened as he jumped back into the car.
My breath was still held in my chest as I turned to him, eyes wider than plates of expensive china.
Roman glanced back at me with an innocent smile; the mood had completely switched. "Breathe," he cooed, reaching forward to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. "It's just a mansion." With a sharp intake of air, he glanced at the backseat and the crumbled-up hot pink crop top we had brought with us (stolen, actually) from the party-- "A mansion with a possibility to put that anomaly in the fucking laundry."
I turned towards it as well, returning to my mind at the sight of the obnoxious colour of the top-- Knowing I had made him cum into the fabric of it merely an hour ago still felt like a triumph.
... Was it maybe my turn, now?
。゚•┈୨♡୧┈• 。゚
And he was right-- this was an absolute castle of a house. I had suppressed the truth about Roman's wealth for as long as I could, not wanting to think about it in case my mind went haywire about it, but now it was smacking me in the face.
Still, Roman's hand on the small of my back was a comfort as he led me through the mansion on the most impromptu show-around I've ever witnessed. "This is the room where I learned how to shoot darts," he mumbled, pointing at the small dents in the wall. "I didn't know the darts were actually stuck to the wall and not the printed dartboard I hung up..." He bent down, picking up the painting his mother had hung up to cover the indents.
I couldn't help but laugh, clinging to his arm as we moved from room to room. The mansion was gothic, vampy, but that might've just been my imagination playing with me. The tall ceilings were intimidating, yet beautiful-- judging by my surroundings, there was no denying that everything around me cost a fortune.
I was yanked out of my trail of thoughts when Roman led me behind a red curtain by one of the big windows in the next room, and I giggled as he wrapped it around us. My back was pressed against the wall, engulfed by both the curtain and Roman's embrace; "This is where I learned how to French," he whispered, smiling as he pressed a kiss to the corner of my mouth. "And it was horrible. She fucking bit me and I squealed like a girl."
If Roman was trying to distract me from what he had said in the car, he was certainly doing a good job. The mental image of his first French kiss kept me beyond entertained, and we both continued laughing as he got us out of the wrap of the curtain.
However, it was the walk up the circular stairs that truly made it dawn on me who I was dating-- Roman Godfrey, the future heir to a billion-dollar company. Fuck. I stared up at the painting above us, the one of him and his mother posing with a rather regal-looking background. He couldn't have been more than fourteen in that picture, and I could see his classic intimidating stare through the painting and the way he clutched the chair his mother was posed on. It was clear that the boy in the painting didn't want to be there at all.
Roman turned, realizing what I was looking at; "I fucking hate that one," he grumbled, giving my hand a squeeze. "I refused to smile at that age. I look like I'm on the brink of killing myself."
"Not true," I squeezed his hand back. "Give yourself some grace. How old were you?"
"Fourteen,"
There you go. "Judging by the painting, I think we could've been friends at fourteen,"
Roman stopped in the middle of the curved stairway, his brows drawing together. "How so?"
I shrugged, trying not to focus on how much taller he was than me. If I thought about it for too long, I'd jump him. "Because I wore all black for about a year. If you refused to smile, and I refused to show any joy, I think we would've been a killer duo,"
Roman blinked twice before cracking into a chuckle. "That's unexpected,"
"Bet,"
"You're all... cute and bubbly now,"
"You think?" I wasn't sure how much I agreed. "The girl that's fucking around with her ex-best friend's cousin?"
Roman had to bite down another laugh. "What do you mean, fucking around? I haven't as much as touched you compared to how I could've,"
Oh.
Oh God.
I held back a shiver, staring up at him as he resumed leading me up the stairs. "But... you have touched me,"
"Sure," Roman proceeded to get a proper look at me in the darkness of the night when we reached the second floor. The green around his widened pupils practically shone-- it was impressively cat-like. "Impossible not to, with those fuck-me eyes of yours."
"Hey!" I wasn't sure why I was protesting, but I knew his snicker egged me on. "I don't have... that!"
I could see that Roman was on the brink of cooing at me, and he sucked in a sharp breath as he sunk his teeth into his bottom lip. I hadn't seen him this amused in a while. "Right," he purred. "You don't. Not a trace at all." With a short kiss on my forehead, he moved away from me and started walking down the dark corridor. "Keep those fuck-me eyes in the hallway, and I might let you sleep tonight."
I sighed before gearing up into a walking sprint to catch up with his long strides-- If only he knew that sleep was the last thing on my mind.
。゚•┈୨♡୧┈• 。゚
When we finally reached Roman's bedroom, I couldn't believe the size of it. My room was nothing in comparison. I had certainly not expected the posters-- there were many rare classic horror films and some bands I was sure his mom probably loathed. However, I was surprised by the lack of half-naked models on his walls which I had always imagined; I let out a short, relieved breath. "Your room is nice,"
Roman hummed, throwing his jacket on a chair nearby. "Not too boyish for you?"
"Nah," I mumbled, walking up to the posters on the opposite wall. There were a lot of movies I hadn't seen yet-- still, I couldn't help but laugh a little when I saw The Godfather. "It's very you."
"How great that you like me, then,"
"Lucky for you, yeah," There was something about this room that I couldn't help but love-- this was where Roman woke up and fell asleep. This was where he probably spent most of his time. I wondered whether the pillows smelled of his going-out cologne or the lighter one he usually wore to school. I wondered whether he'd been caught smoking in here, whether he'd done coke with Peter on his desk, and how many girls he'd had up here. By the likes of it, I somehow doubted anything like that ever happened at his place. If he had waited this long to have me over, I decided it was highly unlikely he'd invite someone he didn't know very well.
I clasped my hands behind my back, taking long strides as I scanned the many posters on his walls.
Roman sat down on the chair by his desk, spreading out as he watched me with a smirk. "Not what you expected?"
I turned to him, my brows drawing together; "Why? Are you nervous or something?"
"I'm not nervous," Roman huffed, folding his arms over his chest. Now that I was looking straight at him, it was clear that he was. "I'm simply asking."
A knowing smile crept up my cheeks-- it felt like I had the upper hand, for once. "You're nervous,"
"Am not!"
"And now you're fidgeting,"
I was correct; Roman's right leg had given into a slight bounce. He rolled his eyes, muttering curse words under his breath. "It's not every day that I have girls up here, okay? I'm never here, stuff always happens at someone else's-- well, now your room. Because this is, like... my lair,"
I had to bite back an amused smirk; "Your evil lair?"
"Bingo. This is where I dissect people and stuff," He pointed to the table next to him. "So... yeah. Your opinion matters to me, I guess."
"Oh, does it now?"
"On some things, sure,"
I nodded, focusing on how the moonlight was dipping into the dark brown of Roman's hair. He didn't have to be so pretty all the time, did he? How rude. "Such as...?"
With a shrug, Roman now gazed at the tall ceiling. Like this, he almost looked bored. "Your opinion of me is the one that comes to mind, I guess,"
"My opinion of... you?" That was new.
Roman met my eyes again, this time with a new emotion-- his head was slightly tilted to the side, and he was looking at me through his brows. I had a feeling he didn't intend the look to be as intimidating as it was. "It fluctuates,"
"My opinion?"
"Yep," he said. "Some days, you look at me like I'm everything. And then, the next day, I'm the biggest asshole in the world."
My lips drew together in a tight line-- this was unexpected. "And here I thought I was the only consistent thing in your life," I mumbled. "I don't know, Rome, every couple has its ups and downs, no? But I don't want them to make you doubt what I feel for you. Because... you know, right?" I started taking wary steps across the room. "You know I adore you, there is no way you've managed to miss that?"
With a sigh, Roman sat back in his chair with a smile. "Sure, I know that," he murmured, watching my every step with anticipation. "And I bet that tree you carved our initials into can attest."
Goddamn it. "You're never going to let go of that, are you?"
As I finally approached him, Roman led me between his legs with a gentle hold around my waist. "Nope," He pressed his lips against my clothed chest, his fingers slowly digging into my top. My arms draped around his neck, and my next words were muffled against his hair; he reeked of his usual cinnamon-flavored cigarettes-- "But sure, if the tree ever starts talking, it will agree. You know I'm crazy about you,"
"Crazy is the keyword here,"
"Oh, shut up," I muttered, pulling away to get a proper look at him. Roman was so damn beautiful-- I had missed the sight of him in the past twenty-four hours I had been unsure of the state of our relationship. "I still can't believe you thought I was going to break up with you... Do you know how shitty you would have to be to drive me to that point?"
Roman pulled me back in again, enjoying the scent of my perfume with his next deep inhale; he pressed a short kiss to my neck. "Let me be paranoid," The next kiss lingered for longer, the warm exhale through his nose grazing my skin.
"But I don't want you to be," I tried. "I don't ever want you to doubt us like that. Never, ever again."
Roman stilled. With a sigh, he spoke; "Okay... but that's where you step into what people in my family call a deathtrap," He motioned for me to sit down in his lap, and with wary movements, I draped my arms around his neck and sat down, allowing him to place a sweet kiss to my cheek. "Deathtrap?" I echoed.
"Deathtrap," Roman shifted, placing one arm around my waist as his free hand traced small circles into my thighs. "Otherwise known as... hope." And just like that, it was as though his mind went elsewhere, as though something in his eyes shifted.
However, I'd had enough of that-- I wasn't having any of it tonight. Knowing Roman saw hope as a deathtrap made my heart burn. Wary of not being too abrupt, I slowly placed a finger underneath his chin, catching his attention. "If you don't want to harbor any hope of your own, I'll lend you mine," I whispered, gently nudging his nose with mine.
Roman's pupils dilated as his hot breath fanned against my upper lip. I could smell the beer on him, the cigarettes, yet the most prevalent was the anxiety-- it brushed upon my skin, and caressed my heart. "All of it, Roman," My hand went back into his hair, stroking through the softness of his locks. "All my hope, all my love... it's all yours to borrow. To keep, to mold, to steal, to hold, for as long as you like. It's not a trap of any kind. You're safe with me."
That was all it took, and so he gave in; with the smallest of sighs, Roman closed his eyes, relishing in the moment. "You make me feel... you make me feel," he echoed, almost in disbelief. "It's a painful thing, is it not?"
I dared to let my hand brush down the side of his face, my thumb gently ghosting over his closed lid to feel the softness of his lashes against the pad of my finger. "It doesn't have to be. It could feel really, really good,"
Roman let out a shaky breath against me; "I want that for you," he said, opening his eyes. The green in his eyes shone in the white shimmer of the moonlight, illuminating the intent in his words. "Want to make you feel good... in every way possible."
Something about the drop in his voice nearly made me shiver-- I couldn't allow myself to, not in his lap. It took a few seconds for me to notice that I was holding my breath, staring back at him with a look on my face which I hoped didn't give away too much. Maybe I had misinterpreted his words? Maybe Roman meant that in a romantic way?
However, with the following upward curve of the corners of his mouth, so small I could barely notice it, I knew my intuition had been right. Roman definitely meant that in a different way.
... I needed to listen to my intuition more, didn't I?
Roman's hand on my thigh lifted, now removing the vial of blood around my neck to place it on the table nearby; he proceeded to put his palm against my cheek with the gentlest touch, softly caressing my skin with his thumb. This was when it dawned on me that we were alone. Completely alone. Possibly for the first time ever. No interruptions, with no one to hear anything. Had this been a month ago, that fact alone would've been enough to make me jump off his lap, and I would've probably paced up and down along his room with nervous steps to soothe my anxiety. Being alone with him meant that I wouldn't be able to contain my need for him, I was sure of it.
But now? I believed Roman could do that for me. Soothe me. He could calm me down like no other. Now, I knew he wouldn't run off after getting what he wanted-- because now, I knew that what he truly wanted was me.
"Could you let me do that?" Roman breathed, the green of his eyes finding my lips. I was confused as to how I hadn't melted into his lap already. "Make you feel good?" He leaned forward, just a few inches, now brushing the pad of his thumb across my bottom lip, transfixed. "Or... are you sure you want to do this? Have your first time with someone like me?"
There was something about the fact that he was even asking-- the old Roman would never. "Who else would I have my first time with? It's always been you," My lips parted in a soundless intake of breath, my gaze darting to his plush, pink lips. Like this, I could almost feel them against me; we had kissed so many times that my body remembered the sweet push of his lips simply by gazing at them. Still, I was afraid it would never be enough, and every kiss was as thrilling as the first one. "Just being with you like this feels good already."
Roman hummed, absentminded. "Not what I'm getting at,"
"I know," I breathed. "But I can't help but worry that--" I had to clear my throat, swallowing. Why was I getting so damn nervous? It was getting harder to breathe, and I was sure my cheeks were flushing. "Well... That I won't know what to do."
With a sigh, Roman bit down on his lip to hold back a laugh. "It's your first time, you won't have to do much," Despite his lids hanging heavy over his darkening eyes, I could see the want building in him. "I'll take the lead, okay? You just relax." He steadied me with his palm over my cheek before leaning forward-- my body hitched with caution as he brushed his lips across mine, slanted, until I allowed myself to give in.
The soft pillow of Roman's lips was the sweetest pressure I had ever known. I could feel my blood heat with the intent of the kiss, and I suddenly got the urge to cross my legs to calm myself down-- I knew I couldn't. Roman's breath fell softly against my cheek as my hands went up into his hair, tugging gently at the tips of his dark locks as I kissed him back with my lips slightly parted, moving against his as though he was whispering me a question.
Maybe I didn't hear it-- maybe it was a warning? Had he actually whispered something, or was I imagining things? Because with the next second, Roman hooked his arm under my knees, lifting me off the chair as I yelped into the kiss. It didn't take long before I eased, telling myself he had lifted me many times before, and that he would never drop me. Never, ever. Roman smiled against my lips, humming just slightly as he carried me bridal-style across the room. It felt silly, cliché, until it dawned on me-- was he playing the cliché out for me? Was this what he perhaps imagined I wanted, something pure, something classically virginal?
In the few seconds our kiss was broken, Roman placed me down on the bed and watched as I giggled; it was impossible not to laugh as the recoil of the springs threatened to bounce me up in the air again. He tsked, now grinning as he made space between my legs, drawing me closer before he kissed me once more. It was bolder this time, pressing the soft fullness of his mouth against mine-- there was nowhere else for me to go but to him.
My hands wove into Roman's hair again, pulling him closer as my heart thumped hard in my chest. Was this really happening? Or was this maybe something I was imagining, maybe the alcohol hadn't left my system yet? "Rome--"
Before I could continue, his lips were on mine again like a magnet, drawing us together, unable to separate the magnetic forces long enough to let me speak. It was confirmed; he was definitely here. This was real. There was an urgency to Roman's stubborn kisses-- you're mine, just accept it. Being kissed into submission was something I had never imagined was possible, yet here I was, my lips parting with a soft whimper, feeling his tongue against mine; it filled me with a complete and utter satisfaction, a final statement.
I wanted him to devour me. As I coiled my fingers around Roman's dark hair, tugging him closer, I so desperately wanted only that. To melt into him, to become one-- was that maybe the core concept of sex which I had misunderstood all up until this exact moment? Just the thought of being connected with Roman like that, knowing he could possibly be inside me-- that thought had never evoked the physical reaction in me before as it did now.
Well, fuck. I realized I was screwed before it had even happened.
Sucking in a sharp breath, the silk of Roman's expensive duvets kept me grounded as he softly groaned into my mouth. His tongue circled mine before gently sucking the tip of it into his mouth, and he listened to my whimpers as he withdrew shortly after, a lone string of saliva still linking us. I was unsure why I was left so speechless, why every little thing he did made me feel like my body was on fire, but I knew there was no rationality in need. The innate need ravaging through your veins. There was no way to make sense of it, and I was certain Roman was aware of that too. Yet suddenly, he was near-motionless, blinking twice as if he was a little lost on what to do, which I immediately thought was odd--
Oh. There it was. I was wondering when that would happen.
So... Roman wasn't lost. Far from it. Flustered might be a better word-- I felt his erection poke into my stomach, and it made me realize how big his pupils had gotten. That was quick. "Uh... Surprise?" He awkwardly cleared his throat as his green eyes nearly devoured me whole. "Fuck it, there's one thing I want to do before we go on. It'll take a second."
I held my breath-- with Roman, that could mean anything. "... Okay?"
"Don't look so scared," he teased, getting off the bed and walking to his nightstand. In my head, I wondered whether he was grabbing condoms, or whether he was about to impose something kinky on me. I was ready to start my rehearsed lecture on going slow with me, that it was my first time and everything, until my mind blanked at the sight of a... candle?
Roman got a lighter nearby, looking back at me with a trying smile. "You once said that me and sweet don't go together," he explained, lighting the candle. "On our first date, I believe, if we can call it that. The blackmail part of it was probably not ideal, but it counts in my head. Anyway, I thought you might be right about the sweet part... but it doesn't mean I shouldn't try to be."
I was afraid I'd melt much, much faster than that candle. "Don't tell me you went out and bought that candle just for this?"
Roman shrugged, hoping to brush it off. "Well... I was determined to prove you wrong. And I had a candle for my first time, and I guess it eased me a little. But, uh... I think this is actually a funeral candle,"
"I see," I had to contain a laugh. Sitting up, I reached for his fingers as I longed to touch him again; "Well, no one's dead yet, but the night is still young."
Unable to hold it, Roman snorted, placing the lighter back on the nightstand before he interlocked our fingers. "I'm never doing anything like this again, so I suggest you cherish it,"
"What? But now I'm growing fond of the funeral candle, you're breaking my heart!"
Roman rolled his eyes, sinking down on the bed again, and he brought our intertwined fingers above my head. "If that's what I need to do to get you in my bed, I'll buy the whole fucking candle company,"
There was something exciting about the fact that Roman genuinely could. It wasn't just an empty threat. If he got high enough one night, I was sure he'd know who to call. I was surprised to feel he was still hard now that his erection was pressed up against me once more, but I didn't get much time to think about it-- Roman freed one of his hands, and he managed to make his way under my top as he kissed me once more.
My breath hitched against the soft push of his lips as it hit me that I might have to get fully naked for this. Fuck. Okay. Yet my anxiety eased at the thought of him being fully naked too-- I found my hips keening up against him, my need for friction growing with my arousal.
Roman smiled into the kiss; it was a ravenous feeling. "Impatient?" he asked, barely leaving my lips.
"Yeah," It was merely a breath-- I felt his hand ghost over my bra, slowly tracing the hem. I could barely think, too excited to function anymore.
"No need," Roman pulled away, letting go of the remaining hand above my head as his fingers now toyed with the edge of my top. "We have all the time in the world."
His tone was enough to bring scarlet to my cheeks, but I nodded, swallowing when he bunched the fabric up in his hands and lifted it up and off of me. I raised my arms, pouting just slightly at the loss of contact-- who would've thought I'd get more drunk from kissing Roman than the beer Peter gave me earlier?
With a sigh, Roman's eyes consumed me; the smirk with which he looked down at me only made me more flustered. "Rome," I whined, reaching my hands out for him. "Stop that, get back here. This isn't anything new." That was true-- me in my bra wasn't a sight he hadn't seen before.
Roman tsked, sending me a stern look. "You're disturbing my thought process,"
"Your thought process?--"
"Yep," he said, shrugging. "I'm just thinking about how I want to cum right..." Roman trailed a line across my lower abdomen with his finger, using a touch so light it immediately made me squirm. "... here."
The squirming quickly turned into a small shiver, and my hands went straight to my face as my blush deepened.
There was a change in Roman which was noticeable by the way he lost his smile, lost in whatever images he had in his head as he now leaned back down, pressing eager kisses to the apex of my collarbones. His lips trailed down my body, his fingers digging into the sides of my waist-- his mind was gone. I tugged at his hair as he inched further away, and I whimpered at the sensation of his tongue tracing a circle around my belly button. I never expected myself to like anything like that, but damn-- heaven. This was heaven.
I was reminded of how much bigger Roman was than me when I was suddenly yanked to the edge of the bed, and I could only yelp as I did nothing to fight it. His hands trailed down the sides of my hips, now hooking his fingers around my panties, not yet taking them off-- instead, he was kissing me through my soaked underwear, humming.
Christ, this was something I could get used to. I managed to register the fact that he wasn't on the bed anymore, and I propped myself up on my elbows with the last remaining power I had to confirm my suspicions. Roman stopped for a moment, pulling away to glance right back at me; "What?"
"You're... kneeling,"
"... Yeah?"
It didn't register in my head. "You don't kneel for anyone," The Roman Godfrey didn't get on his knees for anyone in the world. In my mind, he thought the world should be kneeling to him, and that he would never stoop so low.
However, the look he gave me in return told me everything I needed to know. Come on, now. Roman pulled my underwear off as he spoke, peeling it down my thighs; "I kneel for you," To him, that was as simple as a fact. The most logical thing in the history of the universe. He didn't even seem to deem the subject worthy of a further conversation, now grabbing my hips to bring me even closer to the edge of the bed as I let out a small squeak. Roman led my legs to hang over his broad shoulders as he leaned forward, rings of desire around his eyes as he licked a broad, flat stripe up my sex.
Fuck-- I did my best not to mewl as my fingers reached for his hair once more, twirling into the soft curls of his hair. "Rome--"
At this point, I was sure he wouldn't hear me no matter how loudly I spoke. Roman sensed I was about to start keening against him, and he pulled my legs back and held my thighs in place as he slicked his tongue in between my slit, mouth moving as though he was pressing deep, heavy kisses against me. I whimpered, my grip on his hair loosening as I felt my conscience slip into its usual drugged-on-Roman state. A very, very dangerous state of mind, if you ask me.
Giving me some time to breathe, Roman moved to leave soft kisses up along the crease of my thighs. "Keep your legs like this, okay?" he said, slowly trailing one hand up my thigh. Roman's finger teasingly tapped my clit, and he turned to watch the thin line of slick connecting the pad of his finger to me. It was hard not to squirm, and I brought one hand up to my mouth to hopefully suppress any noise. "Rome, what are you?--"
Oh. My breath hitched as he eased his slicked middle finger into me, careful to go in with slow strokes. I whined against my hand when Roman's mouth returned to me, sealing his perfect lips around my swollen nub, adding pressure. It was almost too much-- I felt myself clench around his finger when he curled it upwards, just as his lips covered my mound, sucking me in.
"Christ," I breathed, reaching down to grab a hold of Roman's hair, the slick sounds of his mouth making goosebumps appear along my skin as I contained a shiver. "Shit, Rome, it feels-- so, so good--"
My mindless ramble came to an end with the next hitch of my breath; Roman added another finger, humming against me as an answer. With how nervous I was, it was a tight fit, and the sting that followed made me instinctively tighten my fist in his hair, my skin straining over my knuckles. It was hard to keep still, a string of whimpers escaping my lips.
My hands shook as Roman continued slowly stroking his fingers into me. I wondered whether he could feel my anxiety seeping into my lust-- it was becoming so real. Roman's green eyes darted up at me, stilling his fingers, giving me time to adjust. He pulled away from me, leaving his digits in me as he spoke; "I'm not gonna last long if you tighten up like that later,"
His words conjured a deep blush to my cheeks, and I brought my hands up to my face to hide. "Sorry," I breathed. "I don't-- don't know what's happening."
Roman shrugged, placing a wet, gentle kiss against the inside of my thigh. "You're nervous. It's normal," His hot breath ghosted over my soaked sex as he moved to the other thigh-- "I think it'll help if I make you cum like this. You'll relax more. And I'll keep my fingers in, get you used to the feeling... Unless you want them out?"
For a man who said he didn't deal with virgins, he certainly knew how to talk one down from the cliff. I let out a shaky breath, peeking down at him past my fingers; "N-No, it's okay,"
Roman seemed to be holding back a laugh; "You look a little spooked,"
"I... do?" Knowing my boyfriend, I knew he probably found that incredibly hot.
"A bit. Wanna stop?--"
"No!" That was a little too quick. Fuck.
Roman chuckled as he proceeded to bite down on the inside of my thigh with a teasing smirk-- I squeaked, clenching around his fingers. "Good," he purred, leaning forward to press a short kiss to my clit, drawing out another squeak from me. Something told me he liked the sound of my pleasured panic. "It's been some time since the last time you let me do this. I've missed the taste of you."
"... It's been, like, four days,"
Roman let out a groan, and I could see in his eyes that it was building in him-- the innate lust. "A fucking eternity," he breathed, a new rasp appearing in his voice. With that, Roman didn't lose a single second leaning back down, slicking his tongue between my folds, returning to suck down on my clit with a moan.
Oh, well-- I knew I was done for. Still, knowing his goal was to make me cum, knowing I didn't have to hold back, I let my hands wander back into his hair with a whimper of pleasure. It didn't take long before I clenched around his fingers again, the burn of the stretch subsiding with every flick of Roman's tongue.
"Fuck," I breathed. "Fuck, fuck--"
Any attempt to speak dissolved into incoherent cries, teetering on the edge while pleasure surged through me like a relentless wave. Still, it didn't take more than two more sucks to ease me over, and I felt my climax drawing out long and slow against Roman's mouth, tightening around his fingers with a whimper.
My head lolled along the duvets as I tried to catch my breath. With every time Roman did this, it only got better-- it was hard to believe that was even possible. I came to my senses when I felt his fingers slide out of me, the twinge of pain having long passed.
"Fuck," Roman said, a laugh to his voice as he pressed kisses up along my stomach, getting up from the ground. "Best fucking pussy in the world."
God-- I hid my face again, my blush deepening. That dirty mouth of his. "That was so good," I purred, reaching out for him; "Come here, Rome. I miss you up here."
Chuckling, Roman shook his head, motioning for me to scoot further up the bed. "Just a sec," he said, walking back over to his nightstand, opening his drawer again and shuffling around. I did as told, watching him with a sigh; he was right, that orgasm had relaxed me. However, my zen didn't last long-- I suddenly felt all my muscles tightening when I watched Roman bring the fingers he just had in me to his lips, absentmindedly sucking on them as he now held up a silver wrapper with his free hand as though that was the most normal thing in the world. I also spotted a clear bottle which I could only assume was lube.
What the fuck? The sight of him doing that made me want to disappear into the bed-- why was the sight so... thrilling? It must've been the look of enjoyment on his face. "Oh, that's hot," I mumbled, my eyes immediately widening with the realization of what I had just blurted out.
Roman cocked a brow as he unclasped the vial of my blood around his neck, placing it next to the candle before he got back on the bed, now trailing the residue of spit and slick on his fingers across my thighs. "Well, you taste nice,"
"Not that nice?"
A hum; "Wanna try some, make up your mind?" he asked, a teasing smirk spreading across his plush lips as he brought his hand up to his mouth, wiping off the remnants of my slick to coat his fingers.
I shivered, grimacing— "No, thanks," Hoping to distract Roman from trying to convince me, I sat up, reaching for the buttons of his shirt. Frankly, I had enough of being the only one that was undressed.
Roman hummed, following my hands with his eyes, grinning from ear to ear as he threw down the condom and the lube somewhere on the bed. "More for me, then," he mumbled, licking my slick off his fingers as he kept his gaze on me-- it didn't take long before he pushed me back down on the bed, unbuttoning the last of his buttons with ease I could never match.
My heart had probably never worked this hard before in my life. "Rome," I tried, watching him discard his shirt. Fuck-- he was gorgeous. I could feel myself blushing in an instant, shamelessly looking him up and down; I knew he didn't mind. Why was I reacting like this? Roman being breathtakingly handsome wasn't news? "I think... I think--"
"You're still thinking?" Roman's hands gripped my waist as he leaned down, kissing up my torso as I whimpered beneath him, reaching for his hair again. "Stop thinking. No thinking."
"No thinking?" I echoed, giggling as his eager kisses reached my neck, getting ticklish. "You're asking for too much." Now that he was finally close again, I draped my arms around him, trailing my fingers across his broad shoulders with a sigh. Being skin-to-skin like this was my favorite thing in the world-- being connected.
Roman hummed, his erection once again pressing into my lower abdomen. "Either you stop thinking of your own volition..." he said, pulling my chest up against his. "... Or I'll have to fuck your brains out. Your choice."
I shivered, feeling my mind start buzzing. That was a damn easy choice. "That sounds rough," I mumbled, my breath hitching as Roman pressed a kiss to my ear. "You said you'd be gentle..." To be completely honest, this was the part I was nervous about-- would he maybe not be able to be? I was a little scared he'd be like one of those horror-story guys Letha had told me she'd been with, one of those guys that just slap you all of a sudden or start choking you cause they've seen it in porn and think that's normal behavior.
Roman pulled away, hovering barely an inch above my lips; his breath grazed my cheek, and the green of his eyes were glazed over with a look of confusion. "Am I not being just that?" he asked, nodding to the candle.
Oh-- I turned to the supposed funeral candle.
It allowed a sweet kiss to my cheek, the tip of his upturned nose pressing into my cheekbone; "Trust me. I wouldn't want to hurt you, you know me,"
He was right-- from the very first moment we got together, he had told me just that.
Still, it was only when I felt Roman's lips against mine with the softest of pressures, that I pushed my concerns away. It was the sort of kiss that made my heart burn, the sort of kiss that made my hands trail up into his hair to keen him closer. I pushed all my thoughts of horror into a heap, churned it in my mental grinder, processed it, and allowed the product of it to slip past my lips; "I want you," I breathed, feeling myself grow needy against him.
Roman hummed, a small roll of his hips onto mine following-- I didn't expect it to make my breath catch in my chest. "I want you too,"
Something in me ignited; I wanted him to do that again. Disoriented, I reached down for the zipper of his jeans, moaning into the kiss that followed. "Want you more,"
Roman smiled; "Not possible,"
At this moment, I was thankful to be made up of solid matter-- if not, I was sure I'd have melted straight into the bed, a puddle of pure horny. I wasn't sure when Roman lost his pants, too consumed in the kiss to function. My state of arousal only heightened when my hips bucked up, feeling the hard outline of his cock between my legs; I was suddenly reminded of the time we did something similar in an alleyway on our first day. But this was different-- this was a direct contact of his clothed length brushing up against my clit with repeating strokes, a motion which had my breath hitching as my nails dug into his shoulders.
Roman let out a soft groan, nipping at my neck as he ground down against me. "This," he breathed. "This is what you do to me. I wanna be in you so fucking bad."
With the next roll of his hips, I whimpered; the buzzing of my mind refused to still. "Have me, then," was all I managed to say, tugging at Roman's hair as the tips of my fingers burned.
What followed happened so fast, I barely registered it. I heard the ripping of the silver wrapping in the midst of our heated kiss, adrenaline and dopamine coursing through my veins as every little sweet word rolling off Roman's tongue filled me with that familiar warm feeling I always got around him.
For this, it was all worth it. All the drama with Letha, all the tears, all the pain-- it was all worth it.
"You're everything," Roman whispered, rubbing the head of his cock along my soaked sex as my hands skimmed the muscular range of his back. "You're my everything, do you know that?"
God, how I wanted to be one with him. Wanted him in my head, wanted him in me, wanted to melt into him and become one single entity, never to part. From the first moment I met him, from the first moment I laid eyes on him in class, from the first moment he smiled at me, I knew it was Roman. It would always be Roman, it would always, always be Roman for me, and knowing he thought the same of me as well, that I was his everything-- all my longing, everything, had been worth it. Because I was his everything too, finally, just like he had always been mine.
However, as Roman angled his cock and gently pushed the head in, kissing my cheek with the sweetest touch, I didn't expect the painful, sharp sting-- I wasn't sure how loudly I gasped, how far my nails dug into his back, but I was really damn certain that this hurt.
Roman was out of me within the blink of a second; "Shit," he breathed, a panicked look in his eyes. "Should've-- Should've warned you."
The sting remained as I did my best to breathe through it. "That's a stretch," was all I managed to say, stroking over where I had scraped his back.
"I'll take that as a compliment," Roman mumbled, scanning me. He didn't seem bothered by the crescent moons my nails were leaving behind. "You okay?"
"Yeah..."
He cursed under his breath, leaning down to press a kiss to my forehead. "I forgot about this part... My brain doesn't work when you're naked," Roman sighed, reaching for one of the hands I had on his back. "If you want to go on, I might know a way to make it a little easier."
I met his eyes as he brought the back of my hand to his lips; "I guess it's supposed to hurt a little, Roman, just... just do what you usually do, I trust you," Maybe I needed to push through it? I could take a little pain, couldn't I? That was until I remembered the pain again-- it made me clench. Ouch.
With a certain look I knew too well, he shook his head as he now wrapped his fingers around my wrist. "No. It's not supposed to hurt," he said. "And I said I wouldn't hurt you, so..." Roman trailed my hand down along my body, watching as my eyes widened. "In my experience, it helps if you... help."
"Help?"
"Help yourself, so to speak," Roman purred, his signature cocky smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. "Cause I doubt this will be your first time doing this."
"Doing what?-- Oh," As he placed my hand over my sex, he slid two fingers above mine, guiding me to rub my clit. Roman was right; it wasn't my first time doing that to myself. Still, this was a different feeling-- My hips immediately bucked up into our hands, and when Roman leaned down to kiss me, I knew I was done for.
Everything felt warm, everything felt right. "Just keep doing that," he whispered, sinking his teeth into my lower lip. "Wanna?-- Again?"
Roman didn't need to use more words than that; I knew what he meant. I nodded, feeling my cheeks redden at the fact that I was touching myself in front of him like this-- however, I didn't have time to think much about it.
Soon, I wasn't the only one touching myself, anyway.
"Should've used this from the start," Roman mumbled, cursing under his breath as he poured a dash of lube on his cock from the clear bottle nearby. "Got too excited... fuck." With a lazy grip, he wrapped his hand around his length, spreading the lube with slow strokes.
My mind was buzzing. I watched as Roman's lips parted, a shaky breath escaping him. "It's okay," I tried, rubbing mindless circles around my clit. "It's just me."
"Yeah, and I care about you," Roman's eyes were halfway closed as they met mine, darkened with growing lust. "Ready?"
I nodded-- yeah.
This time, when Roman's cock pushed into me again with the slowest of strokes, the pleasure from my clit dulled the sting. The only thing left to adjust to was the stretch; my breath hitched as my free hand went back up into his hair, wincing against his lips as his thick length stroked me open.
Roman cursed as his parted lips hovered above mine. He held me tightly against his body, watching out for any signs of discomfort before he spoke; "Shit... This feels better than I--thought,"
My head rolled back against the duvet, breathing against Roman with small heaves. "Rome," I whimpered. "Fuck, this is--" I didn't expect the feeling, didn't expect the tips of my fingers to burn more as I grasped at his hair, didn't expect the way my whole body reacted-- it was different from anything else I had ever felt or thought I could feel. Being filled up by Roman was...
It was everything.
Everything I had ever dreamed of.
It felt good, it felt right-- I moaned, clenching at the feeling of his cock slowly sinking into me at a steady pace, my body aching with love. This was as gentle as I bet anything like this could possibly be, and I squirmed a bit beneath him, adjusting to the feeling of having his cock inside of me.
Roman let out a shaky breath, containing the urge to pound into my warmth like I supposed he usually would. "Hurts?"
"No, no-- Ah,"
With his next thrust, Roman kissed up my jaw, keeping every stroke careful. "Want me to put it in all the way?"
"The-- There is more?"
"Baby..." he breathed, containing a choked laugh. "I'm only halfway in."
I was sure I was about to faint. How the fuck?-- No, I couldn't think clearly in this state. No more thinking. I decided to trust him; I knew Roman would pull back if it hurt, anyway. "Okay... Let's try,"
As Roman pushed in more of his length, the quiet moan escaping him blended in with my string of panicked whimpers. I didn't even know I had space inside me for more-- my eyes sprung open, my legs giving into a tremble. "Rome, I-- a-ah, this is--"
"Shh, look at me, breathe," Roman brought his hand to my face, guiding me to look into his eyes. His voice was soft, caring; "You okay? Is this too much?"
The shock was the thing that had gotten to me, I was sure of it. Because after a few more deep strokes, a few tighter circles around my clit, my fear eased as I realized this was a sensation I would be chasing for the rest of my life.
"Feels good?" Roman asked, his voice nearly breaking-- I imagined it was hard to not give in to the pleasure of the tight embrace around his cock.
Still, I could only nod, twisting my fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling him towards me to smother him with a heated rush of my lips against his, moaning into the kiss as I pulled my hand from between my legs-- it was starting to brink the line of overstimulation.
"Good," Roman muttered against my mouth.
The kiss didn't last too long; my shock was still coming and going in waves. "I'm-- we're having sex," I blurted out, my cheeks flaring red. The truth was hitting me like a blow to the head. The thing I had dreamed about since the first day I laid eyes on him was actually happening.
Roman contained a laugh, looking rather endeared by my realization; "Yeah, you're doing it, you're having sex... I'd give you a high five, but-- hah, that wouldn't work,"
Why were we laughing? Why was this... fun?
Caught between the fire in my chest, the twinge of humor, and the ache pulsing low between my legs, I whimpered as I realized I wanted-- no, needed more. Still, a small, meek call of his name was all I managed to stutter out.
Roman shifted, pushing my body so that my knees were bent at his sides; "Speak your mind,"
How was I supposed to conjure a cohesive sentence in this state? "I want-- you, more--"
"We're going-- hah, back to that?"
"Not that! More, Rome-- just, more, I need--"
He let out a breathy moan, smiling back down at me; he knew exactly what I meant. "Thank God," Roman's cock filled me over and over, his thrusts growing harder, faster as he found a steady pace to rock into me. "You're taking me so good, aren't you?"
My head felt like it was spinning. This couldn't be real. I couldn't possibly be as lucky as to finally sleep with Roman Godfrey.
His voice brought me back; "You're doing so well," he murmured, burying his face into the crook of my neck, muffling a quiet moan against my skin. It was the most magical of sounds-- my heart was threatening to beat out of my chest, and I was sure the warmth of skin against mine probably helped with the overheating of my brain. "Doing so, so well for me... I've wanted you like this for so long."
"Me too," I breathed, my hips keening to take his thrusts. "Wanted you-- since forever."
My words only seemed to reel him on; Roman hips snapped harder into me as I whimpered. "Forever?"
"Forever-- a-ah,"
Something in Roman's breathing changed. It was almost as though I could read his thoughts, feel his new reality form. Was it maybe the last push he needed to believe I was his till death? That there was a person out there walking this earth, breathing the same air, that could possibly want to be with him for an eternity? "Forever," he breathed, latching onto my neck with repeated needy kisses in an attempt to drown out the noises threatening to spill past his lips. "You and-- and I, forever."
As Roman's cock repeatedly pushed into me, I could only whimper; the stretch was still something to get used to, and my nails bit into his back as I tried to steady myself. "Forever," I managed to breathe out, hearing him moan into my neck at the sharpness of my nails against his back-- I knew he'd like that. I knew Roman too damn well.
"Forever," he echoed, breath washing warm against my ear as he raised himself, his cheek nuzzling mine in an intimate embrace.
I clenched around the girth of his cock, shivering. This was so unbelievably sweet, nothing I had ever expected from him. Roman was so much taller, and his broad build served as a comforting weight through the wave of new pleasure my body tried to comprehend. With the next surge of love washing over my chest, the next pump of Roman's cock, I felt my chin give in to an involuntary quiver as I gripped him tighter.
It was at this moment that it truly dawned on me;
I loved him.
I loved Roman Godfrey.
Tears swarmed my eyes as one of my hands went up into his soft hair, hoping he'd take it as an urging for him to kiss me again. I didn't want to have a chance to talk, to blurt it out and scare him away-- which is why, when Roman shifted and crashed his lips against mine, I only felt relief.
I was safe. I was cared for. And damn, I felt good.
However, what I hadn't expected, was for the shift of angle to brush past a spot inside of me I had only ever felt when Roman's fingers curled into me. But this was far greater, far more stimulating-- I let out a choked moan against Roman's lips, my eyes springing open as my head tilted back into the duvet, heaving for air as my legs gave in to a tremble.
I didn't have to look up at him to know the exact look on his face, yet I dared to take a peek; he was too hot to resist. And there it was, those parted, perfect lips paired with that dark look in his green eyes of victory. This is exactly what he had wanted to reduce me to all along, wasn't it? Roman's hair had never been this messed up (courtesy of my hands), and the sheer look of it nearly made my heart swell. "Good tears?" he asked with a whisper, scanning the look in my eyes.
Fuck, yeah. I could only nod.
Knowing Roman, I was wondering when he'd-- oh, hello, you. I was waiting for the eventual switch. A man like Roman Godfrey couldn't stay sweet forever.
At the sight of my tears, I knew something new in him ignited. He placed a hand over my mouth, placing more of his weight on me as his other hand pulled me tighter against him, the wet snaps of his cock pushing into me growing louder as I moaned out against his palm. "Listen to this," he purred, a sinister smirk tugging at the corner of his lips as he made me listen to the sound of our union. "This is sex, you're damn right. This is what you'll be craving from me."
God-- I squeezed my eyes shut, the continuous push of the tip of Roman's cock against my sweet spot inside sending my brain into a frenzy.
"I get why you've been reserved... You'll never be who you were before this again," With a grunt, the next snap of his hips only grew harder, knowing I could take it and adjust. It certainly didn't help the tremble of my body. "Gonna get you fucking addicted to this feeling. To me. Cause you've given yourself to me now, do you-- do you realize that?"
My wet lashes fluttered as I slowly dared to open my eyes, my heart thumping harder than ever before. If only he knew how addicted I already was.
"This is it," Roman breathed, the green hues of his gaze engulfing me; "This is us. This is you. This is who you are from now on. My girl... Only mine. Forever. Gonna help you cum on this cock, okay? Gonna give you the first time you deserve, h-hah--"
Something about the look in his eyes unnerved me, despite the hot nature of his words-- What? There were many ways for him to make me cum, surely, but the second my fingers started numbing up, my mind started flaring red with a passage from my most hated book;
The upir's ability to mesmerize is an ancient and powerful form of psychic influence, capable of bending a victim's will. This control often manifests subtly, with suggestions that feel like one's own thoughts. If one is being mesmerized by a upir, it is often accompanied by a stilling of one's inner monologue, or a numbing sensation. Prolonged exposure can lead to disorientation, memory lapses, and a gradual erosion of autonomy. The key to resisting lies in anchoring oneself to reality—through pain, strong emotions, or focusing on a meaningful object. Beware: once under an upir's thrall, distinguishing truth from illusion becomes a perilous challenge.
Beware.
Beware.
The last time my fingers had numbed up like this, was the time Roman forced me to tell him what had happened between Jasmine and I. It felt like the autonomy of my thoughts evaporated, seeped out of my ears, and disappeared into Roman's grasp.
However, at this moment right now, this moment of blinding pleasure and complete rapture of my soul and love, I wanted nothing more but this. I knew I wasn't being mesmerized of course, because upirs weren't real-- but as Roman kept my face still and my eyes on him, it felt like it. It was almost like I heard him telling me to cum. A few more thrusts were all it took, the complete transfixion of Roman's unnaturally dilated pupils swallowing me as I only saw green, green, green-- his hand quickly left my mouth to hear me cry out, a choked moan escaping me as the fear toppled me. This was an orgasm unlike anything else I had experienced, and I felt myself pulse around Roman's length, practically milking his cock as I struggled to grapple with the most intense climax of my life. "Fuck-- Fuck!" I whimpered, my nails digging further into his back as tears welled in my eyes.
The mere sight of it was enough for Roman to nearly buckle over, and I was ripped out of the trance, heaving for air as he spilled into the condom, teeth grazing my shoulder as he tried to bite back his moans of pleasure, hips keening into my tight warmth.
I slowly slid my hands off Roman's broad back, realizing we had both dripped sweat onto each other's skin as I hoped my breath would soon go back to normal. My body ached in a way it had never ached before, and I winced as Roman eventually pulled out of me with a sigh.
There was a long moment after he rolled off of me where we simply gazed at each other. I watched the heave of his chest, the way his brown hair laid over his dangerous green eyes, and wondered how on earth I had been so lucky as to have him fall for me too.
However, suddenly, amid my awe, a small droplet of blood gathered at Roman's nose. To my surprise, he was completely unbothered. The look in his eyes told me he had an inkling this would happen, and it further confused me.
I leaned forward to wipe away the blood pooling at his upper lip with my thumb. "You're bleeding," I echoed, aware that I was stating the obvious.
Roman's eyes softened; "Are you, though?"
"... What do you mean?"
Shifting, he wrapped an arm around me, pulling me closer as his other hand slid between my legs, sliding a finger against the wetness of my sex as I squirmed, a short giggle escaping me as I nuzzled up against him. Roman then scanned his finger as I continued to wipe away the stream of blood coming from his nose, watching as it smeared against his cheek. He hummed; "You didn't bleed. At least that's good?"
"I guess?"
Roman kissed my bloodied thumb, a shaky breath escaping him at the taste of the iron; "How was that for you? You okay?"
If only he knew. "You were great," I purred, nipping at his jaw. "It was lovely, Rome."
He let out a breath; "Thank fuck," Roman murmured, visibly relieved. "And you were really damn sweet. I knew those fuck-me eyes would be the death of me... Sorry if it got a little intense at the end, there."
"No, no, that was-- fuck, that was so hot,"
Roman smiled. My sweet boy. Another kiss; "But now, there's one thing I wanted to do." He propped himself up on his elbow, and I closed my eyes as he made sure I laid with my back against the bed-- I was too tired to focus. The ache between my legs refused to subside, making me worried about the state of my thighs tomorrow. They better not fucking cramp up with every step, similar to the day after a hard session at the gym.
And just as I was about to ask him to return to me, to stop doing whatever the fuck he was doing, I suddenly felt a warm, slick substance drip onto my lower abdomen. With a gasp, I snapped out of my drowsiness, only to be met with the sight of Roman holding the condom above my stomach with a devilish grin, letting the content pour down on me.
He chuckled at the sight of my widened eyes, my speechless state-- "Didn't manage to cum here, as I said... so this will do,"
"Roman, for fuck's sake!"
"What? You look good with my cum all over!--"
"Roman!"
"Fine!" he huffed. "Gonna go grab some wipes, I'll be right back. Anything else you need? Water?"
I wondered whether Roman realized how sweet he was being-- I glanced over at the candle flickering in the moonlight, the vial of my blood lying neatly next to it. The sight made my heart swell; God, how I loved him. It killed me that he couldn't know. I knew he'd run in the other direction if he did. "Water would be nice," I breathed, watching as Roman got dressed again.
It all hit me like a wave, now;
The first time I got my heart broken, I had been at fault.
The first time I got a black eye, I had swung the first punch.
But the first time I had sex? It had thankfully been with the man I loved. Still, I was sure the cosmic imbalance would catch up to me again and drag me back down into the dirt soon enough.
But not right now.
Not right now.
Here, I was safe with Roman. The universe couldn't get me now, no-- not with the equivalent of the moon lying next to me. He had returned to me in no time, holding me close in his nearly immediate slumber after having lent me a shirt of his to sleep in. The cosmos wouldn't dare to touch me now.
I adjusted the cover on top of us, kissing Roman's forehead; "Are you sleeping?" I whispered, poking his cheek with the gentlest of touches.
No response. Phew.
And just as I started to fade into sleep as well, I ran my thumb across the softness of his cheek. I connected our foreheads with a content sigh before I pressed my lips against his in a loving kiss. Roman looked so peaceful-- the universe wouldn't dare to take me now, wouldn't dare to wake him up.
"I love you," I whispered like I would be put to death if I awoke him. With one last glance at the candle, my heavy lids fluttered as my heart cried;
"I love you,"
(a/n: thank you SO MUCH for reading this monster of a chapter!!<33 if you've made it all the way down here, here are all the other chapters if you're interested!!<33 MWAH)
PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 11
tagging those that seemed interested!!<333
@mentallyscreamingsincebirth @putherup @corawithfanfiction @vladsgirlxx
@iamaslytherin0 @sexualparkour @the-universe-is-complicated @heavenly-bratt
@lafemme-nk @namiusedbubble @useyourwandbro @strmborns @literally-lani
@virgosapphire79 @star-girl-04 @veyzus @ddipotassium @pecxiebu
@mil88691 @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @katifefe @sn0wybowie-blog
@lilithskywalker @likecherriesinthespring @sadheartjellyfish @vadersangel
@shehangsbrightly @burningmiraclekingdom @dollforaswan @austinswhitewolf
@nico-velvet @shiiiii-okayyyy
#roman godfrey#hemlock grove#roman godfrey x reader#x reader#bill skarsgård#fanfiction#oneshot#bill skarsgard#fluff#angst#fanfic#highschool!au#hemlock grove fanfiction#THIS WAS SO LONG#I'M SORRY#AND I WANTED IT TO BE AWKWARD I'M SORRY#ARRRGHHH
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Sending Stone Messages
A list for me that I want to update as new ones come in! Which w/ Dorian back, hopefully not so much (But i think I found all of them so far)
Bonus Ep 6 - Orym gripping the sending stone while Dorian was away
Ep 16 Fearne - right after Dorian leaves
Ep 22 Orym — “We’re leaving Jrusar, heading southeast. Following the Treshi thread further. You’ve been missed. Hope you’re well.
Dorian — “Hey, sorry. Was sleeping. Thanks. Miss you guys too. Shit got crazy here too. Floating bar, I’ll tell you later.
Ep 31 Orym — “Hey friend. Missing you here. Could really use your special brand of optimism right now. Don’t know where you are. Hope you’re happy. Bye now.”
Dorian — “Hey! Floating bar got a little weird. Took awhile to land it. This side of the fam is keeping me busy. Miss you all too- Don’t die!”
Bonus Ep 33 - Sending stone falling from Orym's hand as he dies from Otohan
Ep 40 Orym — “Hey. Yios bound. Found them- their killers. Bigger than we thought. Read rough, Dorian. Eshteross is dead. Glad you’re not here, wish you were anyway.”
Ep 41 Dorian (via Robbie)— “Oh Orym~ My heart aches I cannot be there to help you. Find strength, stay steadfast. Sending you fairer winds. …. Is this thing on or-“
Ep 49 Orym — “Dorian. Update. People we’re chasing unleashing hell in a week. We’re headed there now. Odds not good. More tomorrow. Where are you?
Dorian — “Orym! With the rest of the Crown Keepers in Tal’Dorei. Opal’s getting a little dark. Little busy at the moment.. I don’t even know how to get to you.”
Ep 49 Orym -- "Hey buddy. I have a weird request from the other side of the ocean. Can you see the leylines? Is your night sky lit up? Ash says, "Hi." You'll know if you see it. Dorian -- "Yeah, it's, It's real colorful up here, too. I'd take it in and enjoy the display if things weren't so tense at the moment.. Tell Ashton I say hi."
Ep 49 Orym — “Listen, what’s going on over here is really bad. Get the group, get underground. Stay there until you hear from me again… Miss you”
Dorian — “I'll see what I can do. There’s plenty of places underground, I’m sure. It's a little hairy on this end too. You take care of yourself. Be careful”
Ep 59 Orym — “Dorian?? Can you hear me? what’s the sky look like where you are? Tell me you’re okay-“
Ep. 63 Orym — “Dorian. still alive, by the skin of our teeth. want to talk more. you know where Dariax is?’
Bonus I miss you - Ep. 79 "I really miss Dorian and sometimes I think that's okay and sometimes it isn't."
Ep 86 Orym — “Dorian, we’re alive. Been to the moon, going back. Find the tempest. If I don’t get the chance again, I’ve really missed you.”
Ep 92 Orym — "We're home. Can you hear me? I'm northeast of Bassuras. Can you get there? I'm... struggling. Sorry. Can you get here? Fuck, I miss you."
Ep 93 Dorian (Robbie back) - "I'll be there" Bonus 93 Fearne - "Wait, what are you doing here? How did you get here?" Dorian - "Well, I got your message." Ep 94 Orym — "Dorian. Dorian. Dorian, wake up. Dorian. Fearne and I outside the city, about 10 minutes. Need you all."
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DEAN WINCHESTER & EDDIE DIAZ PARALLELS ↳ Alternatively:
[Image ID under the cut]
GIF 1: A square gif of Dean Winchester from Supernatural 10x16. He is in a confessional booth, and the light from the confessional booth is shining on him, causing a crosshatch pattern to show across his face. He looks sad, saying: "There's things, there's…people, feelings, that I-I-I want to experience differently than I have before, or maybe even for the first time."
GIF 2: A gif of Eddie Diaz in 911 8x06. He is in a confessional booth, red orange toned, and he looks guilty. He looks down and then up, as he says: "I put my desires before his needs."
GIF 3: A gif of Dean in Supernatural 1x18. He is in a blue-green denim jacket and he looks down, saying: "He gave me an order and I didn't listen, I almost got you killed." Sam, offscreen, says: ["You were just a kid."]
GIF 4: A gif of Eddie in 911 5x17. He is in a black shirt, speaking angrily to his father (offscreen). Eddie says: "Why don't you tell them about the time you pulled your 10 year old son aside and told him it was time to step up, be the man of the house?"
GIF 5: A gif of Dean and Jack Kline in Supernatural 15x11. Dean cups Jack's face, searching his eyes, while Jack looks back at him.
GIF 6: A gif of Eddie and Christopher Diaz in 911 3x04. Eddie is speaking to Christopher and making eye contact with him, and puts his hands on Chris's shoulder.
GIF 7: A gif of Dean from Supernatural 4x10. It is close up on his face, and his eyes are teary, and he's shaking his head. He says: "How I feel...This...inside me...I wish I couldn't feel anything, Sammy. I wish I couldn't feel a damn thing." As he speaks, a tear rolls down his cheek.
GIF 8: A gif of Eddie in 911 5x13. It is a close up of his face, and Eddie's face is red from crying. There are tears in his eyes and he shakes his head. Buck, offscreen, asks: ["What are you afraid of?"] and Eddie replies: "That I'm never gonna feel normal again."
GIF 9: A gif of Aaron and Dean in Supernatural 8x13. Aaron is sitting at a rounded table with a drink. He awkwardly touches his nose and says: "I thought we had [...] a little 'eye magic' moment [...] I figured I'd wait until you were done with your meeting and then maybe we might..." Dean nods slightly and says: "Yeah. Uh, okay but no - uh, no moment."
GIF 10: A gif of Eddie and Father Brian from 911 8x06. They are outside, sitting at the juice bar table. The priest sips his coffee and says "You come here often?" Eddie leans in and waves his hand defensively, saying, "Oh, uh, listen uh, no offense, I'm straight."
GIF 11: A gif of Lisa Braeden and Dean hugging in 5x22. Lisa holds onto Dean, closing her eyes, and readjusts her hand to hug him tighter. Dean closes his eyes and leans in closer.
GIF 12: A gif of Kim and Eddie hugging in 7x09. Kim holds onto Eddie, readjusting her hands to hold him tighter. Eddie's eyes are closed and he's leaned in close to Kim.
GIF 13: A close up gif of Dean in Supernatural 3x10. He is listening to Dream Dean (offscreen), who says: ["He knew what you were. A good soldier and nothing else."]
GIF 14: A gif of Eddie in 911 5x15. He is on a hospital bed with a lot of wounds and bandages and looks weary. Offscreen, someone says: ["You got them all out. Staff Sergeant Diaz...you did good."]
GIF 15: A gif of Castiel and Dean from Supernatural 10x22. Dean's face is bloody, and he looks up at Cas, who is holding a knife. Dean says "We need you. I need you." Cas starts slowly moving the knife away.
GIF 16: A gif of Buck and Eddie in 911 4x14. They are at the hospital, Buck in a mustard button up and Eddie in a black tee shirt. Eddie looks forward, saying to Buck: "You act like you're expendable, but you're wrong." Buck looks at him when he hears this.
GIF 17: A gif of Dean in Supernatural 10x16. He is at the confessional booth, and he speaks for a moment before stopping. The shot of Dean is obscured by the pattern of the confessional booth.
GIF 18: A gif of Eddie in 911 8x06. He is at the confessional booth, and he speaks for a moment before stopping. The shot of Eddie is obscured by the pattern of the confessional booth.
CAPTION IMAGE: A screenshot of a discord message stating: "They’re the same person. Tragically, Dean was born in a show created in a pre-Glee world."
/end image ID
#spnedit#911edit#eddie diaz#dean winchester#janie makes stuff#*gifs#eddiediazsource#useraudrey2#useroli#usermimsi#911verse#usermadita#useralien#userarrow#userroh#ajlook#oneawkwardcookie#userbuckleys#cinematicnomad#rellylook#911 abc#spn#blood tw
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