#for it to be about fighting with someone you love because of literally nothing they’ve done you’re just reacting to ways people have

[ilostyou]

the great war is such a uniquely vulnerable song

[suosgirl]

Helloooo! I was wondering if you are taking requests for Wind Breaker?

If yes, can I ask for a story or headcanons about Suo meeting and getting curious (and eventually falling for) a f.reader who is like a princess for Shishitoren?

In my head it would be funny to see Suo challenging and interacting with Choji and Togame (who are already threatening Suo to stay away from the reader). I mean, he can be kind of mean when he wants, and still wear a smile.😆

Thanks for hearing me out!

And let me say, I realllyyyy love the way you write!🩷

Shishitoren's Princess (& Her Guard Dog) | Hayato Suo x Reader

Word Count: 7471

୨ৎ Read me before interacting!

୨ৎ Pairing: Hayato Suo x Reader feat. Shishitoren (literally most of them), Jo Togame, Choji Tomiyama, Mitsuki Kiryu, Haruka Sakura, Akihiko Nire

୨ৎ Warnings: mdni, f!reader, manga spoilers, ooc (definitely ooc sorry ah), angst, harassment, swearing, kissing, miscommunication – if I’ve missed one, I apologize + please let me know!

୨ৎ Note: oh my goodness – I'm actually so sorry for how this took me (and how long this is ૮꒰◞ ˕ ◟ ྀི꒱ა). I loved loved loved this idea so much, and thank you for the sweetest words! I really hope this is somewhere in the ballpark of what you were requesting! Thank you again for the amazing idea! I love you!

You hadn’t meant to cross over to their territory – truly. It’s just that Togame had mentioned that his favorite Ramune flavor had been out since last night, and Tomiyama had been going on and on about this new snack that just wasn’t available at the usual corner store that you guys frequented, so you found yourself with a mission on your mind and your wallet in your hand.

Pretty, perfect, caring adorable you. With a smile that could heal any scratch and a heart that seemed to never run empty. You were the pride and joy of Shishitoren – their mascot in every sense. 

You knew everyone by name. If someone asked, you could name at least 5 things about each person from the top of your head. You could name their allergies, their likes and dislikes, and even their interests – all because you listened to them.

You were attentive and warm – quick to lend an ear if someone was having a bad day or offer advice if they asked.

And it was scary how well you could tell if they were in the dumps – it becomes a running joke that you have some kind of emotional superpower when it comes to them. It takes just one look, one look before you’re bringing them to a secluded corner and asking them if they’ve got something weighing on their minds.

You knew their personalities, knew their stories, knew their hearts. 

The only time anyone avoided you was when they knew they did something wrong – because they knew you’d be pulling them by the ear and scolding them. And, as much as some of them wanted to get mad, they just couldn’t bring themselves to – because having someone care for them so fiercely was a feeling that not many of them had ever experienced, and from the bottom of your heart you truly cared.

After every fight, they knew you’d be the one to patch them up. Bofurin had the townspeople, sure, but Shishitoren had you. You, who would set up tables in the Ori with every inch of space taken up by ointments, antiseptic spray, gauze – the works. Whatever injury they had, as long as not severe, was taken care of by you. 

If it was serious and required hospital attention, you were the one bringing them there – eyes sharp and tongue at the ready to yell at anyone who dared to treat them differently or deny services.

And these boys … they had the utmost respect for you. You, who had nothing but love to give, never expected a single thing back. You cared for them, genuinely, and saw them as your own brothers to fuss over and worry about and love. 

You were family – and honestly, Togame and Tomiyama were just glad to have met you after their fight with Bofurin. 

You’d moved to this side of town just a little after the whole thing, and when you’d gotten lost in the dark alleys with your phone on 1% and tears in your eyes, it was Tomiyama who walked you home. He’d talked your ear off the whole way, of course, but he was surprised at how you were able to keep up with him. You were actively responding to him, asking questions, keeping the conversation going – and Tomiyama liked that. 

And when you’re delivered safely to your front door, you ask if you can exchange contact info. His eyes light up, and he’s quickly saying yes and that he’d love to hang out with you again.

He doesn’t expect you to reach out to him the next day though, asking if you can give him a thank-you present for going out of his way the day before. 

And when you show up to the Ori, with a bag of assorted goodies in your hands, you’re met with more men than you could count, all with eyes staring wide at you.

They expect you to run away, honestly, because they know what they look like. They know that you’re probably a sweet girl, sure, but they were a gang – plain and simple. A gang working on reform, sure, but a gang nonetheless. So, if you were to drop your little goodie bag in fear and run for your life, well, it would probably be the most appropriate response.

Instead, what you do is gasp, point an accusatory finger at Tomiyama, and exclaim, “WHY didn’t you tell me that there would be more people here?”

You quickly hand him the bag, muttering out an “I’ll be back”, and in less than 30 minutes you’ve got your hands full with 5 more bags, packed to the brim with even more snacks.

With Togame, it takes just a little bit longer for him to warm up to you. Not that he doesn’t already like you – it’s just that he’s, well, a bit more reserved and a bit more quiet and observing (a lot more quiet if we’re comparing him to Tomiyama). 

It’s when, during a fleeting conversation, he mentions that he plays Go with the elderly men at the public bath – and he watches you perk up at his words. Immediately, you’re asking if it would be alright to play with him sometime, and while he’s hesitant, he ultimately says yes at the sight of your bright eyes and wide smile.

He admits that he thinks you’re just bluffing, until you actually plan a day to play, and now you’ve got him thinking that maybe you’re good? Maybe, you’re a secret Go prodigy or something? Maybe you’ve got a secret or two up your sleeve and –

He wipes the floor with you. Absolutely demolishes you. But you’re happy about it, laughing at the result, and he’s confused because you didn’t win? Did you … did you know how board games work?

You’re quick to tell him that you enjoyed it because you got to spend time with him, got to know who he is as a person because of how he played. 

You leave him standing on the street, a bottle of Ramune long forgotten in his hand (his prize for winning) and his mouth open in surprise.

And when you notice he’s not next to you anymore, you turn around with a smile on your face as you ask, “Don’t you feel that you know me a little bit better too?”

Yeah, they were glad that you got to see them as they were now, with hopes and dreams and emotions. They don’t dwell on the idea of you meeting them before then – they don’t want to. Because if they thought about it too long, they’d have their answer.

You deserved to be happy and healthy and protected. You, who filled a hole in Shishitoren that they didn’t even know existed. 

And now you were an irreplaceable part of their lives, so precious and so important that they began to understand Bofurin. They had you – someone that they would do anything in their power to protect – to keep safe from harm.

You were Shishitoren’s Princess.

After that, Tomiyama and Togame were stuck to you like glue. Always thinking about you, always concerned, always wondering where you were. 

You’re running late and they haven’t got a text letting them know why? They’re out on the streets, danger flashing in their eyes and prepared for the worst. However, when they see that you’ve been distracted by a stray cat on the road, all they do is let out a laugh and join your side. 

They hear you sniffling and see that your eyes are shining with tears? They’re immediately on you, asking who did this to you, with a promise to make them pay for it tenfold. “You can’t really beat up allergies,” you laugh, before sneezing into a tissue. Immediately, the Shishitoren boys are rounded up, their eyes focused and determined – to get you allergy medicine.

You were everything good in the world, bottled up into someone who could make even the rainiest days seem a bit more brighter and the hardest challenges a bit more bearable – and they didn’t want anyone infringing on their happiness.

So when Hayato Suo, from Bofurin, comes across you one fateful day – they’re absolutely livid. 

You hadn’t meant to cross over to their territory – truly. It’s just that Togame had mentioned that his favorite Ramune flavor had been out since last night, and Tomiyama had been going on and on about this new snack that just wasn’t available at the usual corner store that you guys frequented, so you found yourself with a mission on your mind and your wallet in your hand.

And honestly, you loved them, you did, but the way that they treated you like a delicate little flower sometimes felt a bit too stuffy.

What? Did they think you just patched people up for fun? That you knew how to medically treat someone just short of a nurse because it was your hobby?

You’re too absorbed in your thoughts to realize where the directions on your phone are taking you until you’ve already passed the train crossing border that connects Bofurin’s and Shishitoren’s territory. You’re spit out onto a street that you’ve never seen before, but you shrug it off.

When you find the corner store, you make quick work of your shopping list, even grabbing some items for yourself, before you’re out the door.

It’s when you’ve barely taken a few steps down the street that you feel it – the staring on the back of your head.

While you were in the store, you’d felt their eyes on you, but you’d ignored it, hoping that it was just a fleeting moment of curiosity. Now, you see that it was the eyes of a predator stalking their prey.

You pause, before quickly taking out your phone and sending a quick text to Togame and Tomiyama – they just need one small clue and they can fill in the rest – so you send your location. 

And when you finally turn to face your stalker, you snap a photo of their face. For insurance, you assure yourself. Just in case. 

He’s taller than you, with a smirk on his face and his hands in his pockets. You feel uneasy at his presence, and you look up and down the street to see that no one’s around.

Damnit damnit damnit. 

“You’re really pretty, totally my type. Could I get your contact information?” he’s asking, but the tone that he’s saying it in doesn’t leave any room for objection.

“No,” you reply, simple and straight to the point. Then, you stay standing there, and you wait. 

“Never turn your back on an enemy.”

Togame had said this briefly, once, while the both of you were watching everyone spar.

When the man takes a step forward, you take one back, maintaining the distance between you and him.

“Oh come on – it’s just your number. Don’t make this such a big deal.”

He’s holding himself back and you can see it. You can see the way his hands are twitching by his sides now and the way his breathing is starting to speed up.

“Always keep an eye on your opponent~! You wouldn’t wanna miss anything!”

Tomiyama’s words run through your mind next, and you will yourself to maintain your facade.

You’re starting to get just the slightest bit worried now, though. It really shouldn’t be too much longer, you think. Any minute now. 

But a minute passes by, Togame and Choji aren’t here, and the guy’s got his hand wrapped around your wrist so tightly that it’s starting to throb.

“Please – leave me alone!” you yell out, but it’s going through one ear and out the other. He’s smiling down, dark and sinister, and it’s then that you remember something so crucial that you can’t believe you forgot it.

“Kick them, um, down there. It’ll hurt, a lot. But that’s a last resort type of move, alright princess?”

Those self-defense lessons are paying off, Togame. 

You make a mental note to thank him when he gets here.

You kick the man, hard, and when he releases your arm you step back as fast as you can, but – 

The plastic bag you had once held in your hand, now filled with the sloshing liquid and the broken glass of Togame’s Ramune bottle, causes you to slip.

Your hands shoot out and you close your eyes in anticipation of the fall that never comes because strong, warm arms are holding you up.

You let out a sigh of relief – finally. You’re brought to stand, but before those hands can leave your body, you’re swiftly grabbing them to wrap around your waist and leaning your head on their chest.

“Geez, took you guys long enough –”

The sight of a black jacket cuts you off. Black, with green embroidery.

You quickly push yourself off, eyes wide and cheeks red because you had just initiated a very intimate hug with someone who was a complete stranger.

“I-I’m so sorry! Oh my gosh – I thought you were someone else!” you blurt out, hands covering your mouth – and he looks as caught off guard as you are.

His eye is wide, mouth open just the tiniest bit, and – he’s cute.

“Wow, I don’t get thanked like that too often,” he smiles, and you’re mortified at his playful reaction.

“I –,” You open your mouth to apologize again, but he’s got a hand on your shoulder, quickly cutting you off.

You look up at him, and the smile’s still there, but it’s different now – it’s frightening.

“Would you mind stepping to the side for me? It seems some people just don’t know when to quit.”

You hear shuffling behind you, and you’re quickly brought back to the situation at hand. Nodding, you get out of his way, and it’s as soon as you step past him that you hear a sickening thud and a groan of pain.

When you turn, you’re relieved to see that the man who’d been harassing you is on the ground, and if you were to guess, probably out cold.

“Wow… You made quick work of him,” you don’t try to hide the awe in your voice and Suo finds it both endearing and concerning that you’re praising him.

Concerning mainly because, well, you don’t seem to be the type to leisurely enjoy street fights. 

And now you’re right in front of him, inspecting his face and body to make sure there aren’t any cuts that need to be treated or any injuries that need tending.

It’s second nature at this point — ingrained in your body and soul.

Cute, he thinks, very cute that she thinks he touched me.

“Do you see anything wrong, love?” he jests, enjoying the way you’re so diligently scanning him from head to toe.

“No, I don’t think—”

You are, once again, mortified by his teasing. No one at Shishitoren spoke to you like this, and sure they called you Princess, but to you, it held the same value as sister or friend.

“S-sorry, force of habit… ah, thank you for saving me! I sent my friends a message but —”

You’re cut off by the sounds of two distinct voices yelling "Princess", and Suo’s quick to prepare himself for another fight.

However, when he sees Togame and Tomiyama run around the corner with panic in their eyes and desperation in their voices, he’s just confused.

And when they spot the two of you, with an unconscious body on the ground, it gets even more confusing. Because why are they walking over here and why do they have scowls on their face and —

“Princess, what were you thinking?”

Tomiyama and Togame are all over you, Togame’s hand gently grasping your chin to move your face from side to side, and Tomiyama’s got his hand on your wrist, softly thumbing at the bruised skin.

“I’m okay, I’m okay.”

Suo’s observing all of this, and he’s trying to rack his brain for any information about you. God, he really wished Nirei was here right now.

He’s never heard that name before or seen your face, so this must be a recent development. But with the way they’re fretting over you, you’d think that you’d all been childhood friends or something because the way that they’re worrying over you is definitely not normal.

You try to push their hands away from you, embarrassed that you have an audience, but they don’t let up so all you’re able to do is grumble and huff as they inspect you from head to toe.

“... He hurt you,” Tomiyama whispers, and you grab his wrist before he starts stalking toward the body on the floor.

“It’s okay um – oh, I don’t know your name, but he helped me out! Everything’s fine – really! Please, let’s calm down,” you plead, and all it takes is one look at your anxious face for the both of them to ease up.

Now, Suo really wants to understand.

“Suo … thanks for protecting her. This idiot didn’t tell us she was crossing over into your territory. It’s our fault, sorry,” Togame explains, one hand scratching the back of his neck and the other draped over your shoulders.

Suo takes a moment to respond. Who would he be, after all, if not an instigator?

Because — who were you? You – who could turn the Shishitoren leader and his second in command into mere puppies with your sweet voice. You — who had them running like their lives depended on it. 

“Ah, I’d save a sweet girl like her any day,” Suo says, testing the waters, and he gets the exact reaction he was hoping for.

Togame and Tomiyama stiffen up beside you, as you gasp in surprise at his words. 

And suddenly, there’s a shift in the air – and it’s deadly.

You sense it, of course, because who wouldn’t be able to feel the heightened electricity and the low hum of buzzing coming from Togame’s and Tomiyama’s chests?

And you, ever the de-escalating expert, quickly blurt out, “Ah, wait! I need to go back to the store! Give me like 5 minutes!”

Before they can get a “no” out, you’re already out of their grasp and beelining it for the convenience store.

It’s silent for a moment, with just Suo, Tomiyama, and Togame looking at one another.

Finally, Togame breaks the silence.

“Look, Sakura’s a friend –”

“And Ume-chan too!” Tomiyama chimes in.

 “ – and I hope we’re not stepping on your toes here but don’t get any ideas.”

Suo knows he should stop. He should probably apologize, and let them know it’s not what they think. That they’ve got it all wrong. But … he really can’t help it – not with the way that they’re hissing at him like cats. It’s adorable – and you’re adorable.

He was never really good with holding back his tongue, anyway.

“I think she can make her own decisions, don’t you?”

Togame and Tomiyama do not take kindly to his words, and so it begins – a passive-aggressive verbal war.

“Ha, right. It’s been fun, eye-patch-kun, but we really oughta take her back home. You know, so that we can patch her up,” Togame says, and though there's a smile on his face, Suo understands the underlying message behind his words.

She got hurt in your territory, under your patrol.

Suo smiles back at him.

“Ah, sorry! I wasn’t quick enough to save her, but I’m glad I was able to sort this out before things got out of hand,” Suo replies.

All you guys do is blow things up out of proportion – with violence.

“If we’d been here, she wouldn’t have gotten hurt in the first place.”

“Hm. But you probably would’ve gone overboard.”

“Watch it –”

“Ah, sorry!”

It’s when Tomiyama finally opens his mouth that Suo realizes he’s been uncharacteristically quiet, and when they make eye contact, Suo’s smile deepens – because Tomiyama looked like he was ready to maul Suo into pieces, like a true Lion.

“Ume-chan and Furin are our friends,” he says, eyes darkening with every word, “but she’s our family – I think it’s best if you stand down.”

It’s at that moment that you come racing back towards them, your hands full of goodies and a grin on your face as you exclaim, “I got it! I got it!”

You hand Togame his Ramune, Tomiyama his snack, and … you hand Suo bottled tea.

“Sorry, um, I wasn’t too sure what you liked – but this is my favorite drink! Ah, um, if you don’t like it … Suo … I won’t be hurt. But you strike me as a tea lover so –”

You’re bouncing on the balls of your feet, hands wringing behind your back as you ramble and Suo can’t help the sweet smile and the small laugh that escapes his lips before thanking you.

And as soon as he’s done, you’re being whisked away back to your territory – back to your home.

As you walk through the passing, with Tomiyama’s arm intertwined with yours and Togame’s arm draped over your shoulders, you briefly turn around, just to catch one more glance of Suo.

He’s standing there, smiling as he raises his hand to wave at you. You smile back at him with a glossy look in your eyes before Togame softly flicks your forehead.

Your attention is on Togame now, pouty and dejected, before turning your head indignantly as you begin to lecture him about how you’re supposed to thank someone when they help you, and that it’s the nice thing to do.

In the heat of your lecture, you miss the way that Tomiyama and Togame also turn back to look at Suo.

In the darkness of the tunnel, Suo swears he can see their eyes glinting, and his smile only deepens. 

Their eyes, daring and territorial, only say one thing.

Ours. Ours. Ours. 

He had to admit, he wasn’t expecting this turn of events but he was intrigued now. 

And, it’s only after the three of you disappear that he realizes he never learned your name – your real name.

So, when he volunteers to take over the patrol where the Furin territory ends and the Shishitoren territory starts, who can blame him?

What Suo doesn’t know, though, is that after this little incident, you’re permanently banned from walking alone ever again.

(Of course, you’re not actually banned. But, you are given a scolding afterward – which, in your eyes, is rich coming from Togame and Tomiyama, but sure, whatever.)

🫧𓇼𓏲*ੈ✩‧₊˚🎐

The next time Suo sees you, it’s when he least expects it. 

You’re in Bofurin territory, with a small first-aid kit on your lap as you tend to the child in front of you. You’re smiling at the sniffling little boy as you wrap some gauze around his ankle, your fingers adept and swift, as if you’d done this countless times before.

“See? That wasn’t so bad, was it? You’re so strong!”

You ask him how it feels, and the little boy beams up at you, the tears in his eyes long gone and instead replaced with immense gratitude.

You smile down at him, playfully scolding him to be more careful as you pat his head softly.

And then Suo sees you hand him a lollipop — a lollipop — and it’s the cutest thing he’s ever seen.

So, really, can you blame him for sneaking up behind you and whispering into your ear?

“What brings you to Bofurin territory, princess?”

You yelp in surprise, before turning around so fast that Suo worries if you gave yourself whiplash.

Once your blush has gone down and the surprise of seeing him wears off, you explain that you’re here to get some bread for Tomiyama from the Cactus bakery.

He’d been saying that he wanted fresh bread, but there weren’t any in Shishitoren that you knew of. And as soon as he mentioned the Cactus’s Anpan over on Bofurin's side of the tunnel, well, who could blame you for taking that opportunity to not only do something for him but also for yourself?

Which, of course, was to hopefully run into Suo.

“He sent you all the way over here to pick up bread for him?”

“Hm? No, of course not. This is a surprise for him!”

“I see – I was wondering why you didn’t have your guard dogs around…”

“My guard dogs?”

“Oh!” you laugh and Suo thinks it’s the most pleasant sound he’s heard in his life.

“You mean Tomiyama and Togame? No, they don’t know I’m here. It wouldn’t really be a surprise if they knew, right?”

Suo’s starting to see it now – why they care for you so much. But he wants to know more, so he asks about the kid you were tending to.

“Ah — I saw him playing with some kids and he took a nasty fall. I didn’t think it was right to let him go home without care, so I patched him up. I hope that’s okay?”

Suo finds that he really likes talking to you. He likes how expressive you are, how kind you are, and how thoughtful you are. And he finally learns your name. He likes that about you too – it’s cute.

So, naturally, he offers to escort you to Cactus – purely just to keep an eye on you, he convinces himself.

And when he escorts you back to the border, all your goodies in one hand and his arm in the other, well – 

He doesn’t care enough to find justification for his actions. He just really liked you – plain and simple.

When you let go of his arm, he’s already grieving the feeling of your body pressed to his side. 

You were warm, soft, and he’s sure that if he ever got the chance to taste your lips, sweet.

“Let’s exchange contact information! That way, you can be my guard dog when I’m here,” you say as you pull out your phone, and Suo’s so so glad that he ran into you today.

When he adds your contact to his phone, he puts you down as Princess.

When you add his contact to yours, you put him down as Guard Dog. 

🫧𓇼𓏲*ੈ✩‧₊˚🎐

After that, you and Suo try to meet up. But… well…

You don’t see the point in trying to hide it. You were, after all, your own person. You could think for yourself, make decisions for yourself, and speak up for yourself. You were so open to loving and the Shishitoren boys knew this – so why should you hide it?

And when you had something on your mind, you were determined to make it happen. So, you don’t see why it would be any different with Suo. You had met him twice now, and you wanted to keep seeing him. To keep talking to him. To maybe even date him.

But to Shishitoren, this was equivalent to losing you – and they could never let that happen.

So Shishitoren never lets you see him – and it’s not like they’re barricading you inside the Ori or blocking the entrance to the border (though, they’ll admit that the thoughts crossed their mind in one way or the other).

No. They do it in a way that they know will make you stay with them – by acting like big babies.

The first to fall was Arima – 

You’re about to leave to meet up with Suo when Arima runs into the Ori, cries of pain leaving his lips as he whines at how much it hurts. You drop your bag immediately, texting Suo a panicked text about how something came up and that you’re sorry but you’ve gotta cancel today. 

You have Arima sit down, all your supplies laid out next to you as you ask him what happened and – 

It’s a paper cut.

But he’s babbling about how deep it is and how much it stings and it takes forever to just disinfect it and wrap a bandage around it before you realize that half the day’s just flew by for a minor injury.

Second was Kanuma – when he got a bad haircut.

Third was Sako – when he suddenly, out of nowhere, began asking you for advice about how you would approach someone who you used to look up to but lost respect for, who you vowed to fight and win against, only to lose against them and have them apologize to you (you, obviously, struggled with what advice you could even give him).

Fourth was Tomiyama – when he lost his favorite pair of sneakers.

Fifth was Togame – when he lost an eating challenge for the first time.

“It’s for the good of Shishitoren,” they say as they prepare the next victim.

Eventually, you find yourself tending to almost all of Shishitoren’s wounds, whether physical or emotional, and you just can’t believe that they’re fighting against you and Suo so hard.

But, in between all of that, you and Suo still manage to sneak in hushed phone calls and sweet texts.

Always asking about how the other’s doing, always talking about how your day went. He looks forward to it, he realizes, laying in bed as he hears you start to slur the ends of your words, drifting off into sleep.

And you send him photos all the time – it could be of a cat you came across while on the way to the Ori, or a drink that you tried that you liked – and with each text, with each phone call, Suo finds himself becoming smitten with you. 

You, who would remind him to drink water and to at least eat something small to get through the day. You, who had perfect memory and would follow up with the things that he’d talked about days ago, just because you were interested and curious (he’d mentioned that there was a tea spot that he frequented in Makochi, and it only took a day or two later for you to bring it up again, this time with all sorts of questions and comments like “I looked at what they serve! Which one’s your favorite?” and “I’d love to go there with you sometime, Suo – if I ever get the chance”. He’d only said the name of this tea shop once, but you remembered). 

And sweet, kind, loving you – who seemed to know whenever he had a particularly tough day. You were so attentive to him, which was surprising because all your interactions were never in person, but it seemed that you could understand his mood just based on the extra second it took for him to answer the phone or the way he responded to your text. And the thing was that Suo was great at masking his emotions – an expert, even. But you, who could just sense these things about other people, were giving him the chance to open up if he so chose to. You never pressed, never battered him for an answer. Just a simple – “I feel like there’s something on your mind, but if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s okay! Just know that if you ever need a shoulder to lean on, I’ll be there for you Suo.”

And, above all, you never stop trying. You never stop trying to escape the clutches of Shishitoren to see him – though you apologize every time your plans get thwarted as if you both weren’t expecting the same outcome.

But Suo doesn’t see you again, for months – not until a huge fight breaks out, and you’re honestly the last one he expects to see rushing onto the aftermath of the battlefield with a backpack filled to the brim with medical supplies and a determined look on your face.

They didn’t know Shishitoren was going to get involved and fight alongside them, didn’t know that the aftermath was going to be this bad. But if Suo had known that you’d be running to meet everyone afterwards, well – 

🫧𓇼𓏲*ੈ✩‧₊˚🎐

He sees you a mile away, and he’s so relieved that you’re not hurt. That you’re up and moving. That you’re here. But he’s also surprised and caught off guard because – why were you here?

It’s then that he sees your bag, sees the way that you’ve got your hair up and out of your face, and the way that you’re scanning everyone up and down so fast that your eyes never stop moving. 

My little nurse, Suo thinks, rushing to the injured like the sweet princess she is.

Little did you know that as he was fighting, there were only 3 things revolving through his mind – Bofurin, Makochi, and you. He fought to protect those 3 things that were so very dear to his heart, and to be greeted with the sight of you after winning? Well, it couldn’t be anything less but a sign of his hard work. A reward, if you will.

He sees you run up to Umemiya, serious and purposeful, as you open your mouth and wait for a response. Umemiya, though very confused, gives you an answer that you seem satisfied with because you nod, then thank him, and now you’re running towards Suo, and you make eye contact, and he can’t wait for you to dote after him and take care of him and – 

You smile at him, scan his body, nod –  and walk right past him. You never stopped for him, actually. You just kept moving. Just kept walking.

And Suo just watches – he watches as you make your way over to where Shishitoren is laid out, watches as they all let out a sigh of relief when they see you safe and unharmed, watches as they start talking animatedly to you as you start setting up for aid.

And you’re standing there with a pained look in your eyes as you nod at their words halfheartedly, more focused on the injuries that they’re sporting on their bodies than the words coming out of their mouths. You’re going from person to person as fast as you can, and although Suo can’t hear you, he can read your lips as you tell every single person – “I’m here now. It’s okay. Thank you for fighting. I’ll take care of you.”

He watches as you get to Tomiyama and Togame, and sees the way your eyes start to water as they pat your head and tell you that they’re fine – even though you have eyes, you can see how hard they’ve fought. Instead, they’re fondly thanking you for coming all this way just to take care of them.

And suddenly, everything got a bit too real for Suo. A bit too scary.

Because he didn’t realize how hard he’d fallen for you, in between those two fateful meetings, the constant late-night phone calls, and the never-ending texts.

It hits Suo like a train. He wanted to be the one that you search for in the crowd. He wanted to be the one that you’re fussing over. He wanted you to patch him up. He wanted you.

He was in love with you.

And he shuts down – completely.

He goes silent, uncharacteristically so, to the point that Sakura and Nirei are starting to get worried.

“What’s wrong, Suo-san?”

“Suo, what’s the matter with you?”

It goes through one ear and out the other – no response, no indication that he’s even present at the moment.

It’s when you’re patching up the last member of Shishitoren that you feel the heat of an eye on you – and your body reacts before your mind can.

Suo’s name is the only thing running through your mind as you finish up as fast as you can – and you’re off.

You’re making your way to where all of Bofurin is sitting, just barely slipping out of the grasps of the Shishitoren boys.

It’s Togame, with his long limbs, who reaches out and puts a hand on your shoulder and it’s Tomiyama, with his fast reflexes, who has your hand in his.

“Princess, no–”

“Let me find Suo.”

“But you don’t even –”

“Choji, Jo – let me go.”

They hesitate. You’d never spoken to them like this before. Never used their first names before. Never been so cold before.

But they weren’t fools. Even if you tried to hide it, they’d seen the way you sneaked off to talk to him or the way you thought you were hiding your phone when you were responding to him. Anytime they’d bring something up that had even an inkling to do with Suo, you were excitedly adding in your input – all while stumbling over your words as you tried to be mysterious. 

(They’d done a test, actually. All they did was bring up the word tea and you were fighting for your life as you kept accidentally saying Suo’s name when talking about your friend. 

“Ah, Su– AH, I mean, my friend really likes this type of tea.”

“Oh! That’s S– my friend's favorite place in Makochi!”

They didn’t have the heart to tell you because, well – you really sucked at lying.)

And they realize, with heavy hearts, that you were never theirs to lock up in the Ori. You were so kind, so lovable, so sweet, because that’s just who you are as a person. 

You were protected, sure, and healthy, sure, but you weren’t happy.

You, who were the embodiment of everything that Shishitoren was working to protect, had made a choice and they weren’t respecting it the way that you respected them – and they were being, well, selfish.

And when they finally let you go, you sigh in relief. Making your way over to where Suo’s sitting, you yell out over your shoulder, with so much spite, so much anger, and so much love – 

“You act like I’m never coming back – stop whining like puppies!”

Togame’s and Tomiyama’s eyes widen in shock before they both laugh lightly at your words in disbelief.

You really knew how to scold them.

“... she’s talking about you.”

“... nah, she’s definitely talking about you.”

🫧𓇼𓏲*ੈ✩‧₊˚🎐

When you made your way over to Suo, you were met with guarded and curious stares from all of Bofurin. Too focused and too determined, you brush it off. You knew about the fight that they had with Shishitoren, sure, but you thought that they had patched everything up? And Shishitoren had fought with them for this big battle, so why the curiosity?

If only you knew the real reason everyone was staring at you.

Instead, you find yourself running past all of them with Suo’s name falling from your lips, and when you see him, he doesn’t respond.

You pause, dejected, before repeating his name.

No response. 

Now you’re worried – and scared.

You recognize Sakura and Nirei, based on how Suo had described them briefly, and you immediately begin asking them what happened.

“Sakura, Nirei – is Suo okay? Did he get hurt? Does he need first aid?”

You’re met with silence – and shock.

“H-huh? Do we know you?”

“U-umm – sorry, have we met before?”

You pause at their response, looking at them confused.

You blink once, then twice, then three times – before glancing at Suo.

Unresponsive and unperturbed.

You introduce yourself slowly, giving Sakura and Nirei the chance to remember you – because they must’ve heard your name at least once, right?

They hadn’t.

And now you’re standing there with hundreds of eyes on you, as you come to terms with the fact that maybe … maybe you’d been wrong this whole time.

You clear your throat before timidly asking a question that you fear you already know the answer to.

“Did he um… did he not tell you about me? Uh… about us?”

And suddenly – everything goes to shit.

Shishitoren rises up in arms, walking over to where you are because why did you look so confused and why was Suo ignoring their beloved princess – 

All of Bofurin is staring at you with their mouths wide open, processing the words you’ve just said –

Sakura’s spluttering, desperately trying to form words as he continues to just point back and forth from you to Suo with shaky hands – 

Nirei’s got his notebook in his hand, flipping through it like a madman because how could he miss something like this, and had Suo ever talked about you? – 

Suo’s unresponsive, still – 

And then, to top it all off, Kiryu gasps because he’s finally solved it. He’d seen a text on Suo’s phone, so brief and so quick, but he was sure that the person Suo was texting was – 

“Oh! You’re the one he’s been texting! You’re Princess!”

At Kiryu’s words, you snap. 

And no one, not even Togame and Tomiyama, had ever seen you this angry, this upset, this livid.

You weren’t expecting him to go around screaming your name all over Makochi, but what you did expect was at the very least maybe his friends to know. Was that so absurd? You never tried to hide your feelings for Suo from Shishitoren (They tried so hard to stop it) so why wasn’t it reciprocated? Did he not feel the same way? Had you looked too deep into his actions and created a fantasy in your mind? Did you not really know him as well as you thought? 

Or worse – had he been toying with you? 

Oh, you were pissed – and poor Suo didn’t have a clue.

You go to stand in front of him, eerily calm and sickeningly sweet as you call his name one more time.

“Hayato Suo.”

Now that – that brings him back to his senses. You watch him blink in succession as he grounds himself, before his eye darts to you, to Furin, to Shishitoren – and he quickly puts the pieces together before letting out a stiff laugh.

“Ah – I was hoping to introduce you properly to everyon–”

“Am I a joke to you, Hayato?”

Suo freezes at your words. 

How could you, who had unknowingly wormed your way into his heavily guarded heart, be a joke?

But he realizes now – and he feels, for one of the few times in his life, stupid.

Because you love with your heart on your sleeve, and Suo loves with his heart tucked away.

And really, Suo should’ve known, because you’re you — you who gave Shishitoren something to protect and to hold close to their hearts, safe from danger and harm’s way.

You press on, fighting through the anger and the embarrassment and the fear you feel rising inside of you.

“Tell me Hayato, answer me. Was I? Hm? Did you have fun?”

“No, I –”

“Every call, every text – did that mean nothing to you? Was I just being delusional?”

“Wait I –”

You’re so close to him now, softly jabbing your finger into his chest as your words begin to get more and more shaky.

“Do you feel powerful, Hayato? Making a Shishitoren girl fall in love with you–”

You stop yourself, teary-eyed and vulnerable, and you feel so stupid. Because what hurts more than anything is giving someone all your love, all your time, all your energy – all for it to have been for nothing. You thought he felt the same, truly. But now? All you wanted was to walk away from all of this, walk away from Bofurin, and never ever look back.

He grabs your hand, desperately, as your words sink in. He wants to – no, needs to make sure that he’s not just hearing things. That he’s not just imagining it.

“You … love me?”

You pause, taking the chance to actually look at him. You see hope on his face, and you furrow your eyebrows in response.

“... is this another joke? Of course, I love you, you idiot. You would’ve been the first one I ran to but your leader said you guys were all patched up already so I –”

Everyone’s eyes turn to Umemiya, who shrivels under the attention and wordlessly mouths an “I didn’t know!”

But your eyes are only on Suo’s, and Suo’s is only on yours.

And Suo lets you see him, truly see him, for who he is. He doesn’t shy away from your stare, doesn't put on a mask, doesn’t push his feelings into the box that’s been his safe haven for so many years. 

Your eyes flicker with uncertainty and fear, but you convince yourself to try one more time. Just one last time. 

“Hayato Suo, I really do love you,” you whisper, so slowly, so hesitantly, so scared.

Then, with everyone’s eyes on the both of you, Suo slides one hand to the small of your back, and the other to cradle your face.

He wanted to learn how to love with his heart on his sleeve – just like you.

“… again.”

“… I lov—”

His lips cut you off, and honestly, you’re not even mad. Not when he’s pulling you flush to his body, his hand slipping to the back of your neck, and your fingers grasping at the collar of his jacket.

Black, with green embroidery.

“I love you, too – but I’m afraid there’s too many eyes here for me to show you how deeply I feel for you, Princess – I hope you’ll forgive me.”

Dazed, all you can manage is a soft nod and a flutter of your eyelashes before pulling his lips back to yours.

Suo smiles into the kiss. He was right, you were as sweet as he thought you’d be.

[mbappebby]

pairings: jude bellingham x girlfriend!reader (face claim: gracie adrams)

in which: everyone starts to hate on Jude’s girlfriend just because she is a “normal girl”

requested: yes, by anonymous: jude bellingham x gf reader (fc gracie abrams) where they’ve been together for years and she gets hated on by people on social media because shes a normal girl (she works at vogue spain because of real madrid) and people call her a gold digger ect social media au please.

yourusername

Liked by judebellingham, trentarnold66 and 98,529 others

yourusername: just another day at work🤍

tagged: voguespain

view all 14,648 comments

username You ain’t one of the models love💀

username What does Jude see in her?!

username Such a gold digger😂

username So pretty!!💗

username How is Jude dating her?🤮

judebellingham ❤️ *yourusername liked this comment

username Not even bothered to reply back🙄

username Genuine question, what does Jude see in her?

username What’s with all this hate?! Just because she’s a normal girl with a normal job!!

username She’s literally only working for Vogue Spain as she lives there with Jude🙄

username You aren’t one of the models😂

username Gold diggerrr🤮

comments have been disabled

//

yourusername added to her story 21s

Seen by 120,738 viewers

Replies:

username Such a gold digger💀

username Why is Jude with you, seriously!!

username Just a normal girl, while he’s a footballer🙄

username Don’t listen to the hate Y/N, there’s many fans who love you as you make Jude happy!!💗 *yourusername liked this message

username Ughh just leave Jude alone!!

username He doesn’t deserve you😂

//

yourusername

Liked by camavinga, vinijr and 113,630 others

yourusername: life lately💗

tagged: judebellingham jobebellingham

view all 15,638 comments

username Jude doesn’t deserve you!!!

username Going to go after Jobe when Jude dumps your ass?😂😂

username such a gold digger💀

username All this hate is so stupid, leave the girl alone!!

jobebellingham 🤩

yourusername lil broo❤️

username You ain’t a model love😭

username Jude needs to dump youuu

username Don’t listen to the hate Y/N!!🤍

judebellingham babyy❤️

yourusername I love uuu❤️

username Such a cute couple, fans need to stop all this hate!!!

username Jude doesn’t deserve youuu!!🤮

username Just leave him alone🙄

comments have been disabled

//

judebellingham

Liked by trentarnold66, k.mbappe and 762,018 others

judebellingham: It’s awful to see what many people have been saying about someone you love and means a lot to you, just because they have a “normal job”, Y/N is someone that has worked hard to get the job she has, we got together after she started to work for Vogue Spain, it had nothing to do with me and she did it all on her own. Y/N means so much to me and all this hate has just gone out of hand and it’s not just unacceptable, you aren’t one of my fans who have been leaving awful comments this past few days. Myself & Y/N are going to take some time off social media for a bit, all I ask is just for you all to be kind and respectful and I’ll see you all soon🤍

tagged: yourusername

view all 24,927 comments

username We love you Y/N!!❤️

username Y/N is such a lovely person, it was awful to see all those comments..

username You know you’ve gone too far when Jude posts something..

username Y/N & Jude are so cute!!!💗

vinijr No hating on my little sis🤍

camavinga She’s prefers me actually :)

k.mbappe Nah, she’s my little sis!

judebellingham and she’s my gf so I win😊

username Awhh, all the boys🥹

username How can anyone hate on Y/N?!

username I love the friendship she has with the boys!!

trentarnold66 Come visit bro, I wanna see my sis!

yourusername brb just buying a ticket to Liverpool :)

judebellingham I’m here too?

username Haha Trent & Y/N😂

username I love how everyone thinks her has a little sister!!🥹

yourusername I love you❤️

judebellingham I love you more❤️

username Cutest couple!!

username I will fight someone who says anything bad to Y/N!!

[darkcircles4lyfe]

What are your thoughts on the recent chapter?

This is a pretty vague ask but I’m pretty sure I received it yesterday. If not… oops?

I’m actually so excited for the next—that is, the second to last—chapter as someone who was deeply affected by chapters 391-395 and who just loves Toga Himiko in general, so so much. I’ve really grown to love Ochako’s arc too and I’ve come to trust the process here. I didn’t know about everyone freaking out until after I read 428 officials yesterday, and I’m not worried like that. We’ve been in this type of cliffhanger situation multiple times before.

The news that the end of Himiko’s and Ochako’s fight wasn’t recorded hit me hard, just like it hits Ochako, because the world doesn’t get to know who Himiko really is. There’s nothing Ochako could say on her behalf that would compare to actual footage of her pain, anger, joy, love, sorrow, and sacrifice.

…which is to say, Himiko does not serve as a martyr, a tragic, cautionary example. I’ll remind you that that was what the PLF reporter wanted her to be, and she was controlling and patronizing. Let’s think about this as a choice Horikoshi is making, to discard the only ammunition he had to make Himiko into an example and have it be even remotely compelling and satisfying. Boom, gone. There’s no footage. Why?

On the other hand, this is actually an advantageous turn of events if it turns out Himiko survived, because more calculated actions can be taken to keep her safe. I’m starting to see this as a turning point not necessarily for society as a whole, but for the hero profession and its purpose, wherein under Hawks’ leadership the hero commission could become the exact opposite of what it was. It’s no accident that the first half of this chapter is devoted to showing how the next generation and the public were both ~so inspired~ by class A’s actions in a way that mimics the chain of inspiration that motivated class A to begin with. Only this time, Ochako and Izuku are deeply uncomfortable with it! They don’t want this chain reaction to keep going the same way forever. These people look at them and have no idea what they’re actually going through or what they’ve seen. Future heroes who don’t know the real story. That’s very upsetting. Now they are starting to see firsthand how a pattern of collective forgetting is perpetuated. It won’t change until someone like Himiko is actually saved. No bright future without a place for her in it.

I’m excited because this chapter directly confirms Ochako’s awkward, overly cheerful mask for what it is, as it finally starts to crumble. In hindsight, she’s probably done this a lot in the past as well. It casts her whole character in a new light. She and Himiko are so much alike in this way.

I still have high hopes for this storyline because of how much it resonates with me as a queer allegory. Of course, Himiko is also literally queer, but I mean the symbolic stuff about her quirk and her family’s rejection. As a trans person who spent a long time in the closet convincing everyone around me that I was a normal, happy girl, whose pain and rage only festered and grew stronger, who was perceived as selfish and destructive, who was determined to live for myself but still doubted if I had any future at all… I see Himiko’s story as so perfect, so real, that I can’t imagine it ending poorly. And it doesn’t have shit to do with canonizing that ship, either. I’m not worried.

[arlathvhenan]

I think it’s weird that people try and point the finger at Solas for being racist and bigoted when I don’t think I could name a single character in DAI who isn’t?

Except maybe Cole and he’s the exception as he’s a spirit who’s newly crossed over and therefore can’t possibly have been shaped by the world’s prejudice.

But as for the rest, has no one listened to their dialogue? Even at their most well meaning, each character has had their actions and world view shaped by a certain form of prejudice. Casual racism is kind of everywhere in Dragon Age.

Just look at Dorian. He says some genuinely racist things to Solas over the course of their banter. And remember that Dorian is an incredibly privileged man who was born to and benefited from the culture that built itself on the ashes of another civilization and enslaved/abused/dismantled the personhood of the survivors for generations. Tevinter is actively a slave state, and at no point does Dorian really give the impression that he’s all too bothered by it. He outright denies the personhood of Spirits, an assessment we definitively know to be not just inaccurate but deeply immoral.

Then there’s Bull. His banter with Solas reveals so much about them both. In particular, it reveals that Bull looks down on pretty every other culture. He holds up the Qun, an ultra authoritarian nightmare state, as the pinnacle of civil order and admits that he thinks the world would be better if they simply conquered and subjugated everyone.

Even Cassandra, Blackwall, and Varric, as much as I love them all and consider them genuinely good people, have their prejudices.

As for Solas, I’m honestly not sure you can call him a racist? It’s just a gross misreading and oversimplification of his character. People point to his plans for the Veil as being genocidal. But they aren’t. Solas hasn’t set out to wipe all Non-Elves from the face of Thedas. He’s not trying to purge the world of all other races. He’s trying to fix a mistake that he made long ago, one which has left the world in a state he can only perceive as nightmarish and doomed.

I feel like people forget that Solas was only back in the world for about a year prior to Inquisition, and in that year he likely experienced nothing but violence and cruelty. The few redeeming things the world had left before he put up the Veil are all but gone. His people have been scattered, subjugated, and enslaved. They’ve had everything taken from them by this new world he helped create, and that clearly horrifies him.

Solas is absolutely misguided, and he’s absolutely stubborn. But racist? I don’t really think you can call him any more prejudiced than the rest of the characters, except in his case we’re talking about someone who is quite literally from another world. He is as alien to the world and its people as they are to him. And still he shows care and respect to others, despite how awful they’ve been to him.

He respects Cassandra and comes to enjoy her company despite how hostile she was towards him at first. He genuinely befriends Varric, reads his books, jokes with him. He never attempts to fight with Sera, despite her being an outright bully towards him. He shows compassion for Blackwall. He even comes to show respect for Bull and Dorian, despite their various ideological differences.

So, bigoted? No I wouldn’t say he is. Bigoted implies that Solas is incapable of tolerating a worldview outside his own, which is demonstrably not the case. Solas can and does accept the arguments and opinions of others. More than once he concedes to Varric. If you’ve played a Dalish Inquisitior who either befriends or romanced him, he changes his opinion about the Dalish, too.

The only subjects he won’t budge on are the ones that a person really shouldn’t?? He sure won’t entertain the idea of slavery being anything but a horrible atrocity, and that’s a bad thing? He’s a hardliner when it comes to Spirits being recognized as people, because they are and it’s the morally correct stance to have. Again, why is that a bad thing?

What is it with people taking characters who have been made victims by either society or circumstance and are vehemently anti-slavery and trying to cast them as monsters who go too far? I keep seeing it in different franchises cough gameofthrones and it’s starting to make me genuinely uncomfortable.

[thief-of-eggs]

could you do some snowjanus headcanons for their life together had they both decided to runaway together after the whole mayfield situation. (i love this ship so much and your writing is just chef’s kiss.)

ok ok i don’t have time to format this into a fic rn BUT i’m so glad you asked this because i literally love the idea of them running off together, SO-

- While Mayfair’s body is still cooling, Coriolanus formulates his plan. There’s nothing left for him here, and it’s only a matter of time before he’s found out. Hurriedly, Coryo explains to Sejanus he’d recently discovered that someone had told the Captain of Sejanus’s treasonous plans, which means he’s just as damned as Coryo. Sejanus is quick to agree to run- he too has nothing left for him here after all, and clearly he can’t make much of a difference, based on how things went with Billy Taupe. He’s still shaky from their night, but Sejanus still thanks Coriolanus for watching out for him, for protecting him and keeping him safe. Coryo feels guilt gnaw at his chest, but reasons that at least he’s making it right. Even if he’s throwing everything away to make it that way.

- Coryo finds Lucy Gray in the crowds of the tavern, and pulls her aside. He offers her two options- either she come along too, or he writes a confession, leaving the gun with his fingerprints for the peacekeepers to find. He was already condemned, and so is Sejanus, but at least they can save her. Tearfully she agrees, thanking him for taking care of her, and turning to Sejanus to make him promise to take care of Coryo from now on too.

- They leave under the cover of the moon, after Coryo plants the gun close to Mayfair’s body, after he writes a damning letter to Tigris and leaves it in his things at the base. They quickly gather a few belongs and leave when their fellow peacekeepers are sleeping.

- Out in the forrest, they quickly fall into the brawns/brains dynamic. Sejanus is the one trekking onward, the one helping carry their things when Coryo tires. Meanwhile, Coryo is the one mapping out their course, is the one deciding when to rest and when to hunt, is the one watching the skies for hints of rain.

- They don’t talk about their relationship at first. And things start slowly between them anyway. Through them sharing body heat as they curl up together under the stars, Coriolanus grumbling the whole time, but then melting when Sejanus wraps his big warm arms around him. He tries to fight it, but he always ends up the little spoon.

- Sejanus kisses him first. It’s as they’re halfway across the mountains, after they’ve been sitting in front of the fire for a little while, chatting freely about life back home. They’re both more unguarded than ever, and Coriolanus shares a bit about his family’s burdens- and then Sejanus is saying how he’d always suspected Coriolanus was hiding something, and Coryo says he’s always hiding something, but he’s trying to stop that now. And then Sejanus is gazing at him, and Coryo is looking back, and when Sejanus kisses him, it’s tentative and questioning- but Coryo doesn’t push him away.

- They don’t know where they’re headed, but they keep on going. Unknowingly, they’re headed in the direction of district 13- but it’s a while before they begin to recognize that. It’s slow going on foot, and Coryo is certainly not built for life in the wild- but Sejanus thrives. It’s like he was made to be in the trees, made to wander the earthen floors. His smile is so much more dazzling out here under the brilliant sun, his laughter so much louder without the confines of the captial to hold it in.

- They start to kiss more frequently. All the time really. They walk side by side, hand in hand. When Coryo tires, he leans his body into Sejanus’s as they walk, and Sejanus will turn his head to plant a kiss onto Coriolanus’s head.

- The night that Coriolanus confesses to Sejanus about the jabberjay is a cold one. They’re settled just beyond the mountains, with the cover of trees surrounding their little campfire. Coriolanus watches the flames as he confesses it all, leaving no detail out, beginning with his tarnished family name, and ending with his desperation to save himself from the noose. He won’t look at Sejanus, too afraid that he’ll find the warmth in his friend’s eyes washed away. When he’s done, it’s silent. For a long while they sit in the weight of his words, until finally- Sejanus takes his hand.

“We all do things we aren’t proud of to survive,” Sejanus murmurs. And Coriolanus feels a single tear roll down his cheeks. Sejanus doesn’t know how true his words are.

- Their trust is rebuilt slowly. Sejanus, so kind and forgiving and understanding, doesn’t hold Coriolanus’s actions against him. But there’s certainly a wedge driven between them now, one that takes a while to be chipped fully away. But once it is- once Coriolanus has proven himself time and time again that his loyalties lie with Sejanus now- through throwing himself between Sejanus and a bear, through staying up with him all night after he’s been poisoned by a bad bit of fruit, by repeatedly offering up their only food so that Sejanus can keep his energy going- after all of it, their relationship begins to bloom. With no secrets holding them back, their feelings are free to grow wild.

- The first time they have sex is in the middle of a rain storm, under the cover of a fallen tree that they arrange into a temporary shelter. It’s messy and muddy and Coriolanus is shivering by the end of it- but his heart is warm in a way he can’t begin to explain, his chest so full once they’re done, when Sejanus holds him tight in his arms, when he kisses the top of his head and whispers how he hopes to never lose Coriolanus

- The day that they reach the border of district 13 is a clear one. They see the rubble clearly before them- and Coriolanus warns Sejanus that they not get any closer, but Sejanus treks onward anyway, noting that the rubble isn’t nearly as drastic as the propaganda he’d been shown back in 2.

- They’re greeted fairly soon by armed guards. Confused and tired, Sejanus and Coriolanus willingly go with them, following them into the depths of district 13’s base. Nothing makes sense to either of them anymore- hadn’t there been no one left here? But no- the base is teeming with life, though certainly not enough of it to fill the many halls.

- Theyre questioned, and questioned again. After deeming that they’re no threat to 13, and after deciding that there’s no where else for them to go, they’re given a mini history lesson on district 13, explaining everything from the end of the war till now.

- Sejanus and Coryo talk that night, in a guest room that they’re given to share. They talk and talk and talk, and eventually, they both agree. There’s no where else for their weary legs to take them, no where else for them to push onward to.

- They agree to stay, and district 13, still shaky in their numbers from the war, eagerly accepts them, desperate for their insight on the capitol, and any information they might hold to help bring them down one day.

- It takes Coriolanus a while to fully see the capital as the enemy. It’s a process of unlearning on his part, a process of seeing the bad that he’d been surrounded with his entire life, and accepting it for what it is. Sejanus helps him adjust, helps him work through his confusion and his frustration. District 13 never pushes them, always patient with the two of them on how much they’re willing to share.

- They’re both entered into their military program, though Coriolanus is soon transferred to their weapons team. After a while, Sejanus is promoted to medic, where he begins to study medicines and diseases. District 13 becomes an unlikely home for them both, a place where both of their talents are encouraged and fostered.

- They stay in the same dorm, having received the same benefits as that of a married couple. Each night they fall asleep in eachothers arms, each morn they wake to soft kisses and gentle touches.

- Sejanus tells him he loves him frequently. Coriolanus doesn’t say it back for a long while, but Sejanus doesn’t hold him to it. Eventually, though, he does- in the softest moments between them, in the most passionate, in the most tender. That is when Coriolanus feels he has the freedom to speak his mind, and that is when he utters the three heavy but blissful words back- “I love you.”

- Years later, Lucy Gray and the Covey find their way to them, having unintentionally followed the same path through the mountains. They bring life and music to the rigid district 13, and Sejanus and Coriolanus weep when they first see them.

- Eventually, after years of serving and living in district 13, after proving their loyalty again and again- they’re entrusted with the care of a newborn girl, who’s father had been lost in a small round of flu, and who’s mother had died in childbirth. They name her Rose- in honor of Coriolanus’s mother, in honor of the one good thing he can hold dead from his family legacy. She takes on the last name Plinth, the same name that Coriolanus himself takes on. The final shedding of his family’s legacy.

- The three of them are a happy unit, with auntie Lucy Gray playing a large role in her upbringing. She’s taught to love music and color, to be compassionate to all around her, to fight for what she believes in, and to always tell the truth.

- Years and years later, Sejanus notes that he and Coriolanus don’t have an anniversary, seeing as they’d never officially gotten married at all. They talk to the officials in 13, and soon plan a modest wedding, with Rose as the flower girl and Lucy Gray as their main performer.

- The words “I love you” finally come freely to Coriolanus, just as they’ve always come freely to Sejanus. He doesn’t feel the need to protect himself anymore, doesn’t feel the need to be on constant surveillance, constant watch. He can allow himself to curl up int Sejanus’s arms, can allow himself to feel everything for the man he’d so clearly been in love with for a long while, back since he’d first laid eyes on him-

The boy with the bag of gum drops from so long ago, new to the districts, and in desperate need of a friend. Now Coriolanus’s faithful husband, his loyal protector, and the loving father of his daughter.

[vigilskeep]

omg thank you for the support... feeling emboldened to return and be gay in your inbox but i was just thinking about how neve might actually feel a bit put off by a more uncaring/cold assassin rook. she has that conversation with harding in the ign gameplay where she says that authorities being corrupt is how she is employed essentially, but given her character descriptions, i feel like she very much does care a lot and corruption is something she Really Wants To Fix, Actually. but authorities being corrupt is actually great for business for an assassin. i mean lucanis was literally introduced to us as "the magekiller" and one thing we know about him is he specifically targets corrupt magisters. like taking down corrupt officials is definitely great for neve, but i feel very interested in the toxic yuri potential of her butting heads with someone who doesn't care about saving the world beyond putting down an obvious threat because their background relies very much on the world being broken. if this makes sense? femme fatale rook also adds an extra level of distrust which is fun! but there's also so much yuri development potential here... learning to care through neve or rook always secretly caring and neve bringing that out in them. cynic4cynic and all that. this doesn't have to be about a romantic relationship either, it's interesting to me even for a platonic neve/rook relationship!

and this also could be a potential point of contention for neve and lucanis, depending on his own world views. this group being referred to as a found family makes the idea of them not getting along (at first at least) pretty interesting to me LMAO anyway yeah if lucanis shares this kind of view then it really is as you said: (crow rook voice) no lucanis you're not insane. and neither am i.

SORRY FOR THIS. but also thank you for supporting the lesbianism.

YES...

the thing that i certainly believe about neve is what’s been emphasised over and over in marketing: she’s a cynic, but a cynic with a heart of gold. she may be our hard-boiled detective who’s seen the worst of people and the worst of her city, but that’s never made her love her city any less or fight for it any less. she’s intensely idealistic in her ambitions and her commitment to the job, putting her own comfort aside to doggedly pursue any mystery she’s taken on.

i think that conflicts delightfully with an assassin who is more self-preserving in what they are willing to take on and has no such high ideals or sense of community, but has it in common with neve that they’ve come face to face in the same way with the worst of people. they could make each other better—neve could definitely stand to take better care of herself and perhaps even take more direct action, and this type of crow rook could probably do with a moral or two beyond World Destruction Is Bad—or worse! i really like your read on crow rook being dependent on the world being broken, and corruption being good for business. i also think the kind of worldview that the crows teach is that nothing ever really can change. it doesn’t matter what you do or who you kill, because someone just as corrupt will always take their place. there are no moral obligations because there is no fixing the world even if you did try. i’d be so curious to see neve’s impact on that... whether she could get them to believe in something, or their jaded outlook would rub off on her

neve definitely has trust issues and high walls up for whatever reason (i still believe in venatori ex-husband theory) so i love the idea here of really playing into that and making a rook she actually shouldn’t trust. i love that for you. yeah why put this all on her. why make anything easy

i’m definitely interested in lucanis and neve’s dynamic. they have a lot of similar worldviews when it comes to, say, the venatori, but i wonder if neve necessarily approves of lucanis’, uh... impulsive and destructive approach, to dealing with that kind of problem. or if lucanis’ sympathies necessarily mean he takes the shadow dragons’ chances of achieving anything seriously. super excited to see them interact

[klemsk-a]

TL;DR

S2a undermines the concept of redemption so badly it makes me want to cry.

Megatron changing for the better is interesting because it’s complicated. He used to be a warlord, a tyrant, people suffered directly as a consequence of his actions. Unfortunately ES fails to show us these consequences. The closes we have are Starscreams words and that is far from showing us anything.

There are no flashbacks, no actual conversations. Nothing but the present and most of it is from childrens perspective.

This lack of nuance is frustrating. For all we know Megatron might’ve acted exactly the same, but changed factions therefore he is a good guy know.

And this “autobots = good, decepticons = bad” morality is so on the nose in s2a it’s actually kind of pathetic.

The new season needed a villain, and all the hatred for cybertronians apparently evaporated (everybody else just had a change of heart ig and the only 2 people who actually disliked them are dead) and the cons were “always” bad so it doesn’t matter.

It allows the writers not to think about Megatron and problems accompanying his redemption because his victims are terrible so… it’s all fine, don’t worry 👍.

Perhaps it isn’t this way and I majorly misinterpreted the show.

The existence of the chaos terrans really makes me doubt it tho. It also makes me incredibly mad.

Aftermath literally comes into existence, has no idea what’s going on, who is everyone and they’re all fighting. So he does too. And immediately gets called terrible, basically the evil version of the terrans.

WHAT KIND OF MESSAGES IS THAT?

That because you aren’t from a perfect family you’re evil? That is what I got out of it.

Terrans = whole Emberstone = good

Chaos terrans = broken Emberstone = bad

For a show about acceptance and empathy that is a terrible plot point 😀

The episode with Aftermath and Jawbreaker (was extremely boring imo but that’s not important) gives you the impression they’re going to further develop Aftermath. Have him questioning orders and thinking about his choices. But no, he STOLE the entire water from a cave in one tank (how did he even manage???)

Spitfire is an even worse example.

On her first day alive, she gets told that if she wins a race she gets to go on an autobot mission.

She wins, by endangering Alex, and they tell her she won’t get the reword. It’s all understandable but the writers clearly don’t know anything about raising children or children in general.

Yes Spitfire did a bad thing and has to be taught that her behaviour was bad. No they cannot be mad at her for not immediately understanding and agreeing with them. That’s why children (especially toddlers) are infuriating. They don’t know better so you have to teach them, but they will find a loophole to help them get what they want (obviously depends on a child but we are rolling with Spitfires personality). Now depending on what they’ve done to get to it you either reward them or punish them. Because they don’t necessarily understand what they did wrong, even if it’s obvious to you, it can be hard to explain in a way that satisfies a child.

Spitfire lashing out and attacking Twitch is common for kids who believe that someone got something they deserved. It’s especially common if a kid has problems with aggression.

That could’ve been an interesting character development and a good message. Sometimes children won’t be easy to deal with (as all the terrans are, sure they can make bad decisions but ultimately they don’t cause much problems), sometimes they have unpleasant personalities or behavioural problems but it doesn’t make them evil. Being there and loving a child isn’t enough to raise them, discipline is needed and so is patience.

But no.

Aftermath and Spitfire are chaos terrans so they are evil by proxy. Too bad lol.

Twitch and Thrash needed to learn everything. So did Nightshade, Hashtag and Jawbreaker. There was a great deal about self discovery.

Aftermath and Spitfire already have alt modes (at least Spitfire I don’t actually remember Aftermath) and they are just terrible, no good people.

Case closed, problem solved.

Oh. And then they died so…

Unlucky 🤷‍♀️

Redemption in media, especially kids media is important. It sends a message that you can in fact mess up in life, make a couple (hundreds) of mistakes and still come out on top.

But redemption is earned, and it can be (and often is) hard to changed for the better (as opposed to changing for worse).

You shouldn’t change for those you have hurt but so it won’t happen again, so you won’t hurt others again.

Some will come back, some will not.

It IS important that you try nonetheless.

Because no matter what explaining isn’t excusing and no one is born evil.

This show is so FRUSTRATING to me because I cared, and still do obviously (I wrote two versions of this but accidentally deleted the first one so had to write one again).

I really hope S2b will be back on track about acceptance and redemption.

I think Starscream deserved better but sincerely hope they (autobots) will get a hold of him, and him and Megatron will actually talk.

At least let Starscream have his father-daughter relationship with Hashtag, please 🙏.

[chainoftalent]

Full Nagito Yandere Alphabet

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

So fucking intensely Nagito Komaeda can not do things in halves. He is constantly leaving gifts and love letters and trying to have conversations. Once you're living with him he's even more lovey with constantly cooking food and basically willing to reshape his entire house to whatever whim his angel might have next. He's rich after all! Why shouldn't he do literally everything he can for you!

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

While he’s not one for personally doing violence, he does what he must to keep his beloved safe. While he’s unlikely to just straight up stab someone, he’s more than happy to start rumors, sabotage social standings, steal things, or place traps down. Nothing that can be led back to them of course. If the threat persists despite all the chances they’ve had to back off, then well, Komaeda is pretty rich and has a Yakuza contact at the end of the day, he’s more than happy to pay for worse things to happen to any fool in his way. Besides, the sheer despair anyone would feel at losing the chance to have such a beautiful beloved must bring forth quite wonderful hopes afterward. Truly, he’s doing this so everyone can shine even brighter.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

The problem with Komaeda is he doesn't view it as mocking but like, it totally is. He thinks he's just stating the truth of the situation that a person such as yourself has no chance against the Despair of the outside world, your hope's too feeble, like candlelight it glows so brightly and yet so easily is it extinguished by a single breath. In other words a lot of belittlement and basically being put down as weak and helpless. Beyond that, he's trying to conform to their beloved's standards but is really creepy about it, so expect to wake up in an exact duplicate of your own bedroom but just higher quality because he's pretty rich and also a lot of locks on the door that definitely was not there before. He wants a smooth transition of being able to take care of such a wonderfully talented person without much struggle and what better way to do that than with your already existing routines? Really, it would probably be easier to handle and come to terms with if he was crueler because that's at least not this level of creepy.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

Nothing specifically sexual, he is disgusted by the sheer thought of tainting his beloved. However, he will constantly attempt to help with hygiene because he desires to be of service. It's going to be a fight to be allowed to do things like brushing your own hair or dressing because he's going to insist his beloved doesn't need to bother with such petty tasks. Things like showering he'll be more hands-off with unless you neglect yourself. He can't have his beloved not bathing after all, so if he needs to carry his beloved to the tub and scrub their hair for them he will, and once that barrier is crossed it's going to be an even bigger fight to prove you don't need to want his help. He's also desperate for physical affection and touch, so don't be surprised if he suddenly grabs your hand or touches your face, though he will quickly retreat and start self-deprecating if it gets called out. The furthest he'd probably go would be to steal a kiss if he was feeling desperate, and then he'd spiral into one of his really bad rants and self-deprecation afterward.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

They try to play down their luck cycle to not scare their beloved, but besides that Komaeda’s an open book as long as you actually ask him things. He’s not one to just volunteer his history unprompted but a simple question could easily lead to you learning the wildest things about him. While he’s pretty vulnerable in that way, he’s also used to suffering and pain while being vulnerable so it’s not really a good way to try and make him leave, jabbed words about his trauma just roll off his back. He’s probably said worse to himself then you can think off anyways.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Negatively, sighing about how its so beautiful to see their hope but how they're going about it all wrong. He'd try and talk you down at first with those sharp words of his, but if that doesn't work Komaeda is stronger then he looks. He will grab you and force you to stop if he must, such despair.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

It’s not really a game, Komaeda would love to just have a normal happy life where he can serve and help those he cares about. However, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love escape attempts, seeing you struggle and gather so much hope, seeing you try your best even in conditions like this warms his heart and he encourages his beloved to do their best, he’s certain they can do it eventually. Being caught does bring about punishment though, just because he likes it doesn’t mean he actually wants you to get out.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Definitely anything that involves physical violence, Komaeda is completely willing to start chopping off limbs if he gets pushed too far. All while he babbles about how it's for their own good and the hope it will give them for pushing through this despair will be so amazing.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

A happy life for as many years as they have left holding their beloved and feeling loved. He wants to see you grow and change and hold your potential in his hands. He wants you to love him oh so deeply, and he hopes the despair his inevitable death will cause you to bring about the most glorious hope to ever shine. He wants domestic bliss.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

He thinks other people are after his angel's hope, wanting to take it, snuff it out, hurt them. He can't abide it, no one else deserves this hope! So he does his best to isolate you for your own good.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

Extremely sweet and loving, practically worshipping them and always keeping some form of contact with them. He wants their hope so badly, he wants them to smile. He's shy about initiating affection though, he is scum after all, is scum like him really allowed to kiss an angel's cheek?

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

Komaeda has to be really careful with his courting, his luck could strike at any time after all. Love letters constantly get lost, and confessions constantly get interrupted. He has to make them come to him so he tries to be subtle, spending as much time around you as he can without creeping their beloved out, often suggesting books they like to read, normally they prefer mysteries but they’ve been finding such good romance novels these days to recommend. Slow and steady wins the race for Komaeda, though if something extreme were to interrupt him he’d drop all pretense and go for a kidnap. Take a threat on your life or a shitty home life though to force his hand like that though, letting you experience the suffering of normal life only helps your hope grow and he has no desire to stifle that growth for no reason.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Komaeda is a lot more dominating when alone, while he tends to make himself small and obedient in public but in reality, Nagito is in charge. Sure he voices it like how it's in service to his angel, but at the end of the day he decides your meals, he decides your clothing, he decides when you wake up, he is in charge. For his angel's own good of course.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

At first, it would just be with words, scolding them for taking risks or talking down to them like they couldn’t possibly understand the danger of the world. As he gets closer he gets touchier, likely to forcibly grab your arm though he quickly let’s go and starts going off about how unworthy he was to grab his beloved like that. Once kidnapped or moved in with he takes on a lot more psychological-based punishments like isolation or gaslighting. He especially enjoys cutting his beloved’s hair a lot as a punishment, how his beloved’s face crumples as he cuts their hair, how they’ll wear this mark until it grows back, it’s such despair, and it creates such good hope when you get all bouncy that it’s grown back to how you like it.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

So many rights, he gets final say in everything, he may make it sound like you have a choice, but you never do. The best you'll get is a nice room and good food, but beyond that, it's up to Nagito.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Incredibly patient, Nagito has no problem waiting, but even his patience isn't limitless. Try to not push him too hard or he may think he needs to do something drastic.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

The despair would break Komaeda hard, but eventually, he would recover, all despair leads to hope, and if this is the biggest despair of his life, then it'll, it'll bring him an even greater hope! He has to believe that!

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

Yes, but it had to be done so he doesn't regret it. His angel needed to be brought in and protected and nurtured! Sure it feels wrong for scum like him to take care of someone so ultimate like that, but it's his duty! He just wishes they'd understand it's for their own good!

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Trauma for the most part, he sees himself as someone in service to a greater good and is used to great tragedy. As such he needs to protect himself by smothering the object of his affection to make sure they too do not leave him.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

He doesn't like it, he tries to comfort them or explain what's going on but will sigh it's of no use and will leave until they've calmed down. Likely bringing them some nice tea to give them to help them relax. Isolating yourself is impossible though, he is always there and while he respects your privacy but as your caretaker he is in charge y'know, he will go into your room whether you like it or not.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

Komaeda is Rich Rich Rich, he is much more likely to buy someone off then to actually engage in the more bloody side himself. He basically has infinite money, why not bribe everyone around you to make it easier for you to fall into his hands?

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

His luck cycle is your best bet, but good luck figuring out how to utilize it. Best bet is hoping he gets bad luck that loses you without killing you. Beyond that if you play into his Hope obsession you might be able to make an opening but it'll be nasty if he finds out you're faking.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Yes but only in ways, he can justify. He won't hurt his beloved for laughs, but he will step on your hand as you crawl for the door and sigh about such unpleasantries before grinding his heel down until he hears a snap. Afterward, he'll be a lot more coddling and condescending while also putting the blame on his beloved for making him do it. Don't push him too hard with escape attempts and fighting attempts or you might find yourself missing a limb as Komaeda rambles desperately about luck and hope and yadda yadda. As long as you space out attempts and tolerate him when you're not trying to escape you should be able to escape that fate though, gotta be strategic and conform to the twists and dips of his mind and mood when it comes to fighting back and escaping.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

Immense worship, his angel is EVERYTHING, he will do ANYTHING.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

A year or so to build up the obsession after which point they'll start heavily inserting himself into his angel's life.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Yes, if they just refused to ever obey or bend to his will, eventually he will purposefully break his angel as much as he can so he can build them back up into true perfect pliant Hope. Do not push him to this point.

[funky-little-archivist]

Okay besties listen to me right now. Here’s how steddyhands can still win (real and true)

Stede and Ed clearly love each other very much, but they just can’t seem to stop fighting. They can’t seem to get on quite the same page, and this is a problem they’ve had from the start. They both want different things at the end of the day, and they just haven’t been able to reconcile that issue. Ed wants to explore non pirate life, which he’s never really had a chance to do, while Stede wants to explore pirate life for the exact same reason. I can’t really point at either of them and say that either of these things are wrong or they’re being intentionally malicious with each other. I also can’t point at the writers and complain about them stringing us along when all we want is for gentlebeard to be happy because this feels like very natural progression for both of them. As I said, they’ve been heading in this direction from the very start of the show.

So you know what I think they need? A stabilizing force. An anchor. A mediator. These are two whim-proned people who need someone to keep them grounded. And who’s sitting right there waiting for the chance to do exactly that? Izzy.

All season, apart from the parts where he was mourning blackbeard and the loss of his leg, izzy has been doing pretty much exactly that for both of them. Yes last season izzy was pretty much nothing but toxic for Ed, encouraging the worst parts of him. But he’s since come to regret that and was actively the one that stopped his downwards spiral. And he’s been coaching Stede, getting to know him better and teaching him how to pirate properly. This season izzy has really been encouraging both of them towards the goals they had at the start of season 1, in a way, making them the versions of themselves they want to be. But it does seem like he doesn’t intend for Stede to go off the deep end like Ed did either, as izzy discouraged him getting into the bar fight and kept trying to make him back down. I don’t think season 1 izzy would have ever done that for Ed. He’d have wanted blackbeard to defend his reputation. I think izzy wants them to be better, and as he said he actively approves of and encourages Stede and Ed’s relationship. He knows that they’re good for each other, and he doesn’t necessarily want to see them break up. But he also wants them to be the best versions of themselves.

And I’m honestly starting to think that’s what they need. As I said, they need a calming force, because both of them are very active passionate energies in their own way. But here’s the thing, I could be crazy but I’m actually starting to suspect maybe there’s a chance the show is going in this direction as well? I mean I could be reading too much into it, and listen I’ll be the last to put faith into this kind of theorizing again. But listen

How could it possibly not have been intentional to have izzy serenade Ed and stede’s first time together? It could have been literally anyone. It could have been frenchie, we’ve seen him sing before. But no, it was izzy, he got glammed up, showing his immense emotional growth and maturity compared to the first season, and had him practically sing his blessings for their relationship. And yes, maybe that’s all it was meant to symbolize, that izzy approves now and has moved on. Except he so clearly hasn’t moved on (we all saw that heart eyes stare he gave Ed in man on fire) and for me it’s the fact that he actually played an active part in their scene together, at least for the audience. He set the mood guys. In a sort of metatextual way, izzy was part of Ed and stede’s love scene.

And then there’s the fact that the show has been exploring non traditional non monogamist relationships for the entire season. I mean, already in season 1 we had Lucius telling izzy that they don’t get jealous when izzy tried to use that against him, but now we have olu and Jim actively celebrating each other’s relationships with other people despite still sort of being in some kind on non platonic relationship (shown by olu calling Jim babe during the safe space stand still scene). Olu, Jim and Archie sort of formed a straight up throuple? And then olu and zheng almost invited Jim and Archie to? Share a room with them?? Maybe? Whatever the case, it’s all fluid. And that’s okay! This type of relationship fluidity has been so normalized on the show, I don’t really see a reason for them to get precious about Stede and Ed being the only exclusive couple. At it makes sense, sexual fluidity has always been an integral part of the queer community and it’s so refreshing to see it represented here realistically. (Not to say that monogamy isn’t also accepted and valid in queer spaces but many shows have and will continue to represent that. It’s nice to see a representation of the less traditional, less “sanitized” side of queerness.) (edit: AND LET’S NOT FORGET SPANISH JACKIE! hell she was doing it before anyone else)

And hey as a bisexual myself I understand not everyone will like this allusion but I did see someone say that izzy is quite literally Ed and stede’s unicorn lmao. So. there’s that.

And not that this would be a perfect solution to all their problems either. I don’t want izzy to just continue to play custodian to Ed’s problems and add stede’s to that as well, not to mention that izzy and Ed have SO much work to do to fix their mess of a relationship. But I just think maybe all three of them can help balance each other out, mediate each side of the triangle. The dynamic would just be so satisfyingly perfect, and hey, a stool can’t hold up anything with just two legs, but with three it is stable.

Anyway, basically I’m starting to see it guys and maybe I’m crazy but maybe there’s actually a chance here. Again, I’m by no means saying this is 100% going to happen, and most likely I’m seeing things they didn’t intend. But from interviews from David jenkins and the cast, to subtext in the show, I think maybe there’s a non zero chance. Either way, I cannot wait to see what this show has in store for us in the last three episodes.

[depressoesssspresso]

James Potter X Reader

Literally don’t know how to use this app🫶 not revised so oops

You were sitting in the Great Hall trying to get some homework done when James, Sirius, and Remus walked. Sirius was in the middle of telling some story about him and some girl he’s been messing around with when you looked up and greeted them with a smile. The three reciprocated the smile and James gave you a hug as he sat beside you.

“What are you working on?” Remus asked as he motioned to your work. You sigh and drop your shoulders as they’ve been tense from being hunched over for hours.

“Nothing really. Just studying for the potions exam,” You say and you leaned your head on your boyfriend’s shoulder. Your head has been hurting for about a half an hour but you chose to ignore it. James leans his head on yours while rubbing your biceps in a comforting way. You rubbed your eyes and messaged your temples trying to relieve the tension.

“Are you alright?” James asks worriedly as he looks down at you. You sigh again melting more into his chest.

“Yeah, just tired” You answer with your eyes closed knowing what question he’s gonna ask next.

“Did you drink some water?” He questions.

“Did you drink some water?” You mouth along with him, smiling still with your eyes closed. Remus and Sirius laugh as James scoffs. You sit up and turn your him. He has a playful frown on his face and you lean in to kiss his cheek.

“That’s a little rude,” He says causing you to smile even wider. You can tell he’s fighting back a smile. Sirius lets out a playful groan.

“Here we go,” He mumbles to Remus who’s watching the couple in amusement.

“Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery my love,” You argue while pinching his cheeks causing his glasses to slightly slide down the bridge of his nose. He scoffs again and turns to his friends. He sides eyes you and releases the smile he’s been holding back.

“Anyways, Sirius don’t forget we have practice today for our game on Friday,” James says as Sirius rolls his eyes.

“How could I forget? You reminded me twice when we were walking here,” Sirius says as Remus laughs.

“Is today National Bully James Day?” James asks while dramatically looking around. You lean across the table towards Sirius as if you were about to tell him a secret.

“It’s okay Siri. James’ memory isn’t what it used to be. Sometimes he asks me where he misplaced his wand while it’s in his hand,” You jokingly whisper as you shot a quick teasing look at him.

“That happened one time. And it’s because I was in a rush to make it to practice, Y/N. If I remember correctly—which a matter of fact I do— I was to busy comforting a certain someone that I would still love them if they were a worm,” James protest as Remus and Sirius howl with laughter at the confession. You stick your tongue out at him which he does the same.

“I think the better question, Y/N, is would he love you if you never existed,” Remus pipes in, loving the opportunity to subtly piss his friend off. Sirius hums in agreement. You turn to James and raise an eyebrow.

“Well, are you not going to answer Jamie?” You teasingly asked with your arms crossed. James sighs and rubs his eyes.

“Bloody hell, not this shit again,” He says causing you to squint your eyes at him. “ First I gotta love her when she’s a caterpillar—“

“Worm,” Sirius corrects loving the look of frustration on his best mates face.

“—Whatever the hell. Now I got to love her when she doesn’t exist?” James asks incredulously. You gasp at his answer.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean, Potter?” You interrogate the raven haired boy. You knew at this point that you weren’t getting on his nerves. You knew that you were tap dancing on the poor boys nerves. But it was in good and fun. Always in good and fun. He takes a deep breath and shoots you the most sarcastic but loving smile. He holds up on palm in front of his face as if he’s reading something causing you to burst out laughing.

“I, James Potter, would love Y/N L/N in any shape or form, including non existing form,” He says in a monotony tone, “ My life would lack all meaning without her.”

“She is the blessing of my existence,” you whisper encouragingly.

“She the bane of my existence,” he teases in the same tone as he continues to “read” off his hand.

“I love her a lot,” Remus chimes in for James to say.

“She the love of my life,” James adds.

“I cried myself to sleep after she told me that she’s spending Christmas morning with her folks and will be coming over in the evening rather than spending the whole day with me,” Sirius teases as James gasped as if he betrayed him. Your eyes bulge as everyone except James laughed.

“Hey! That did not happen,” James protests and he playfully glares at Sirius. Sirius shoot him back a look.

“Uh yes it did. Did you forget we spent the holidays together? You told me—“ Sirius begins as James cuts him off.

“IN CONFIDENCE!” James interjects before the two boys burst in laughter. You coo and hug James.

“It’s ok Prongs. Real men cry. It’s very..um..brave to be that vulnerable,” Remus playful comforts his friends who is slightly blushing at the revelation of how clingy he is with his girlfriend. Sirius snorts.

“Should have seen this one then, Moony. Sobbed like a fucking faucet, that one,” Sirius says as you giggle. James frowns.

“ Seriously is today Gang up on James for no reason day?” James mumbles and you turn to him.

“Aww Jamie,” You coo at your boy while affectionately rubbing his check, “ I think you’re very brave.” James smiles at you and puffs his chest. Ego obviously regrowing.

“ ‘course I am, darling,” He brags playfully flexing his muscles.

“So so brave. I mean, just look at your outfit,” You deadpan causing Sirius and Remus to burst out laughing. James abruptly stands up causing you to giggle.

“Come on Sirius, we have practice,” He huffs.

[suzukiblu]

I love how Kenley isn’t in any way biologically related to Kon yet they’ve latched on to him just as tightly as Kon has to them. Kon didn’t hesitate to say that Kenley is all of theirs he will be included in this kid’s life and he’d fight someone on that

“Superboy literally just said the kid was his,” Barry says. Tim feels further stabbing itching. 

“Because they are,” Kon says. 

“. . . okay, but genetically . . .” Barry says, and Bart makes a face as Cassie glowers. Tim thinks longingly of birdarangs, but stabbing the Justice League isn’t actually going to help the situation. 

“‘Genetically’, I should be a megalomaniacal asshole in a penthouse with zero empathy who double-majored in evil robotics and evil-er business,” Kon says dubiously, rubbing Kenley’s shoulder soothingly, even though Kenley doesn’t look in particular need of being soothed. Tim figures he won’t split those hairs. “I literally could not give less of a fuck about ‘genetically’.” 

“To be fair Inertia’s a thing, but also fuck that?” Bart suggests, tapping a foot in a restless blur. “The only reason we should be worried about Kenley’s DNA is if we’re worried about it breaking, and Robin says it looks fine so far, so there’s nothing to worry about!” 

“Exactly,” Cassie says, folding her arms and setting her jaw. “Everyone’s fine. We just called you as a courtesy.” 

“Slightly more than a courtesy,” Tim says, because again, they don’t want the Justice League getting surprise-cloned here, but still.

[jamiesfootball]

After careful consideration and a lot of angry tags, I think I have pinpointed for me where Ted Lasso, especially season three, fails to succeed all the way at the themes it explores.

The narrative uses the deconstruction of toxic masculinity to paint their characters as being stronger for having let go of their preconceived notions of acceptable behavior - but the narrative also never lets their characters be weak or fragile without having toxic masculinity to blame. And there are a lot of situations in this show where you would expect someone to go ‘hey man, are you okay? Are you doing alright? because that was a shit thing that happened. it’s okay if you’re not okay.’

And it never does.

There’s an undercurrent in how scenes play out that suggests that the male characters should be strong enough to deal with hand they’ve been dealt. The narrative suggests that they’re the ones who need corrected. They can act better, but they can not be treated better themselves as a result. The male characters are allowed to express themselves, but they are not allowed to ask for anything back from the situation.

Which is why you can have a fight with your assistant coach, but when he comes back to apologize you don’t articulate how it made you feel. You don’t tell your friend how he hurt your feelings. You just accept it and move on.

The Diamond Dogs give advice on how to handle external problems with  emotional roots. They never discuss how they feel internally on its own merit.

The closest we got to a male character just having a bad one and expressing it without a clear source of external conflict? Jamie in the boot room. And that was played for laughs.

Which is why you could be in a deep depression over losing your career of twenty years and part of your mobility, I guess. But also maybe that’s a problem of you not being able to let go, and maybe you should apologize for not moving on sooner? We should pity Roy for getting so stuck in his own shit all the time. Not because the man has lived an incredibly stressful and emotionally isolated life in a high pressure environment for so long he doesn’t have the tools to deal with it, but because the narrative would like us to know if he just stopped getting in his own way all the time, this wouldn’t be a problem.

Is your ex-wife seeing someone else, who happens to also be the person who was your marriage counselor? I don’t know man, relationships are hard. Don’t worry about how hard that must have shaken your trust in a profession that already made you feel skittish. Maybe you should stop obsessing over her and move on.

Your girlfriend can tell all your friends and coworkers how you’re too smothering. Yes, this is the ‘learn how to communicate better’ show, but that was on you, really. Good on you for apologizing for smothering her.

The women may have worrying relationships with people who love bomb them or turn out to be controlling, but Jane and Beard are just a bit weird. Don’t worry about it, Higgins.

You can take accountability for your actions, but if it was your email who was hacked - who cares? You apologized, and everyone is very proud of you. We won’t ever bring up how incredibly mortifying that must have been for you to realize, because something more mortifying happened to someone else.

You can show your emotions, but not the angry ones, not the bad ones - those you should get a hold on, no matter how warranted they are. The stronger you are, the more divorced from toxic masculinity you are, the less those things should matter.

Struggling with your abusive dad and how his relationship with you has literally scared you so badly that you keep looking over your shoulder, afraid he’ll be there? That is clearly the anger talking. This is definitely not a situation that calls for your pseudo-father figure to put his hand on your shoulder, look you in the eye, and say, “i’m really sorry to hear that, son, but you know we got your back. Ain’t nothing bad gonna happen to you while we’re here.” 

No no, this is a you problem and you can correct it by forgiving that man who hurt you. In fact, you thank him for motivating you. It was the anger that got you this far. It wasn’t getting up at 4am every morning for extra training. It wasn’t your mentor, the one invested all his time in helping you. It wasn’t the coach who gave you a second chance when you blew your whole life up to get away from that man. It wasn’t your own drive and passion and love for the sport that pushed you towards succeeding in a career you only had a one-in-a-million chance of ever getting. No, it was the anger that carried you. You should let that go. And hey - what if hypothetically speaking, he might try to be better too one day? You can’t hold it against him. You should let that go too.

Breakdowns and displays of crying are fine, but expecting people to care or show concern afterwards? The narrative doesn’t know her. The narrative will not validate that. We don’t see what happened after Wembley. We don’t see what happened when Isaac came back to the locker room after blowing up. What the show will validate, however, is moving on. Just be a goldfish, or forgive and forget. 

And finally-

Embrace your feelings, but not too hard - you can’t be trusted with them, actually.

Can you imagine that we actually got a scene of Roy telling Jamie that he was worried if either of them pursued Keeley it might ruin their friendship? Can you imagine? From the beginning they have butted heads. From the beginning, Roy has struggled to actually articulate his feelings, especially to the people they involve. And here is Roy doing exactly what the narrative has been teaching him to do - he voiced a feeling that was bothering him to the person who was involved in the problem. Unprompted. He did that on his own. After three seasons of being told that is what he should do when he has a problem, that should have been the moment of narrative reward. That would have been the audience’s release of tension: they’re still at odds, they’re still the same bull-headed people they’ve always been, but they’ve learned to talk about it. No matter what happens next, at least, they’ve gotten this far.

Instead the narrative rewarded him, and us, by having them fight it out in a back alley. Because they’re idiots, and they can’t be trusted to handle their feelings without someone else in the narrative (Keeley) setting them straight.

Yes, people backslide in real life all the time. But when the narrative backslides at the very end of the story - that’s just nihilism. That’s what this felt like - all that progress and promise that you can be better, and two of the people who struggled the most tripped at the finish line. The audience don’t even get to see them pick back up. I mean they’re fine now, I guess. They went for kebabs. I have to assume it worked out. I guess after that they found a way to be happy, but I would have preferred to see them find a way to be happy by way of their own actions. Not in a fanfic. Not by way of imagining how it went afterwards. Not by what’s implied in a montage. By the story actually showing me they could get there on their own.

And the worst part about all of this is that when the show gets it right? It fucking sings. The team coming together to repair Ola’s? That sings. Ted’s ‘ain’t nobody in this room alone’ speech? Wonderful. Trent telling Colin that ‘some people need time to adjust; it’s not fair, but they do’? So delicately wielded, so painful. Beard’s speech to Nate about stealing a loaf of meth? Chef’s kiss. Ted forgiving Rebecca when he learns why she brought him to coach Richmond? The tears in his eyes when he tells her ‘divorce is hard’?

The hug at Wembley.

That’s what I wanted, from start to finale. When the show knew how to wield its empathy, it wielded it like a knife, cutting into the deepest parts of your heart.

Which is why when it does mess up, it hurts so much worse. Because by season three, the show has sunk so far into the deconstruction of things that it’s forgotten that what it fixed were not the only problems those characters ever faced. The show zoomed in too close on the themes. It forgot that at its roots, the its biggest strength has been its empathy. And that to me is where the show failed.

[planetsstarsandmoons]

Random Synastry observations: partly based on my personal experience part 2

Mars trine venus: I love this aspect because the (physical) attraction is just there and it can, opposed to most aspects of attraction, grow steadily more powerful overtime. If you neglect it or cut the relationship off, it will not ‘fade’ or result in brooding tension that blows up in your face, it will simply become dormant. It’s always there. This aspect is a bit underrated, because it doesn’t represent the racey combination of most mars and venus aspects. The ideal example of this aspect is an end-game couple in a sitcom. ‘They’ve always been attracted to each other’, ‘they’re a couple now, funny jokes about their sexy time’, ‘they broke up and ~stayed friends but the attraction of course is still there~, still nothing to worry about or upset the plot for~~’ ‘okay one night then for a special episode’ ‘oh goshh what will these non-erratic people do now!!1!’ and then they realise the other was ~the one~ all along and, after an elaborate first two seasons for the audience to warm up to the match, the writers realised the audience was of course shipping them from day one, because the characters are just so compatible and have such good wholesome chemistry it’s too plain to see.

Lilith conjunct ascendant: Personal taste! I like it when someone’s presence and manner of physically existing seems to suit someone’s dark side so much, that that person can’t stop thinking about that someone. Morning noon and night- lilith is like an imprinter here. This aspect can definitely ruin marriages if the man’s lilith tightly conjuncts another woman’s rising. Think lindsey buckingham obsessively brooding over stevie nicks for almost 50 years. On one hand, ascendant can feel not embraced, but as if an interesting, ~dark~ but somehow pleasant liquid is literally ‘taking’ them. On the other hand, if they’re fighting, it will feel like lilith is trying to swallow ascendant in their negative energy. This aspect is especially grim when a man’s lilith conjuncts the woman’s ascendant. In the courting stage, that dynamic is so funny, because the man with the lilith will just be angry at you for no reason and look at you with these intense and protruding eyes, even when they’re not the plutonic type at all. I’m a sag rising, so I know that most guys who are two years older than me (year 2000) have this aspect with me. Without knowing their birth times, I can basically guess their zodiac sign based on how strong I think their lilith is conjuncting my ascendant 😂 you forget about them, go about your ascendant business and then you exchange looks and remember that they’ve ‘remembered’ (👹) you, so to speak. It’s not an aspect that makes the ascendant drawn to lilith (self protection) but more one that makes them take an interest in lilith.

Mars 2nd house: prolonged courting

Mars/venus 12th house or mars/venus in pisces : passive courting

Mars in 7th: passive aggressive courting 😂 no, that depends on the mars sign really, but it’s really the planet of aggression falling into the house of libra, which is the fall-sign of mars. It normally doesn’t matter, because venus x mars always creates a passionate and romantic aspect, but the overlay is really like mars bonking on the seventh house’s door while she’s in her beauty sleep. You have to understand it.. It has enemies to lovers potential that falls into the water because 7th house sees mars as their ideal fantasy and mars already has a crush on the 7th house person 😂

Pluto conjunct ascendant: some sagittarius risings of generation z are always going to have people their age, namely those with more natal plutonic influences, have a ~certain~ kind of attraction towards them in relationship. Their looks and appearance will stir something deep inside the pluto person, and the ascendant person will automatically see pluto as a grounding, dark intensity. It creates a lot of attraction, but if when young and underdeveloped pluto won’t know wether to hate ascendant and think they’re ‘cringe’ (because ascendant basically embodies and confronts them with their intense, darker and secret self. Even worse if ascendant is naturally confident..🤭 ) or be sort of intrigued by them. Girls growing up with this natal aspects easily got hated and called ‘annoying’ by everyone. Imagine them having this aspect with people their age for the rest of their lives 😭 I can do a whole post on natal pluto conjuncting ascendant and the experience of growing up with that 😂

Moon square saturn: there is such a blockade here to actually becoming something. This blockade is almost magical in the sense of how powerful and unmoving it is in itself. Moon and saturn are very unmoving and hearty heavenly bodies in astrology, so it’s understandable. I’m going to tell a story: I’ve had moon square saturn synastry in a way that most people don’t have this aspect: I had this aspect with someone in my student house whose sun was conjuncting my ic, we had a fourth house stellium in both synastry and composite, venus was conjuncting my moon and the rest of our compatibility indicated all sorts of no shame, reading each others minds, lilithane qualities, etc. We also clearly liked each other in whatever way, saw each other as soulmates (vertex conjunct north node people 😭), thought the other attractive, but ‘being together’?? Well, in the first months we just looked each other in the eyes for entire seconds~ like we were the lead characters in a season of Bridgerton and every time we felt some sort of romantic shift (after talking or something) we would literally RUN away 😂 and the courting stage was literally just that; being friends who were ‘moving away’, leaving the room, suddenly ignoring each other, shifting our position, not saying anything.. and bit by bit we became so purely aware of each other and the connection we had. When it went on long enough, we just looked at each other and immediately knew. The tension became worse and worse and the romantic subtext became the elephant in the room for us. Moon square saturn means deep and meaningful chemistry through the harsh nature of the square and the nature of the planets themselves, but of course it didn’t play out as something like venus square mars. Our connection became the elephant in the room, but the tension wasn’t sexual or playful romantic attraction. The tension had themes like karma, responsibility, ‘we should actually be together’, ‘why aren’t we romantically responding to each other’, ‘because we’re both too shy’. I almost felt this annoyance from the moon person. We couldn’t look at each other without immediately knowing and having that heaviness of moon square saturn. So it was kind of awkward, because we didn’t express anything concretely, but we both knew. And only way later we dared to cross the line, after basically being training-wheeling into having our first kiss. This is an aspect that really can’t be rushed in my opinion. It would just make the first date or cuddle etc super awkward. I wouldn’t say it’s a slow burn aspect because there is not really any burning here 😂 nor pining. That isn’t to say that your relationship won’t have any pining and burning (because we did have that) but this aspect doesn’t provide that. It provides a heaviness that makes both people apprehensive and inward about their feelings for each other. Anyway, I’m rambling here~~~ almost forgetting to say that once these people are together, their love is soo pure, and they will most likely never leave. The sense of (emotional) duty and rigidness in your romantic life is too heavy for that. When they break up, it will leave a looong period of heartbreak. @/lilmajorshawty once remarked that she saw this aspect a lot in older widowed couples that refused to ever remarry after their partner had died. Good luck if this happens to be a key aspect in your chart.

Moon in third house: so in theory, this aspect is not very karmic and can almost feel plain, because the third house isn’t seen as a romantic enough placement for the moon to be in. I beg to differ. In my experience, people love their moon third house overlays, including me. Finding a person you can intellectualise your emotions with right off the bat of meeting them, creates a cupido effect for most people. The moon-ness of the moon will bring out and safe-haven the vulnerability in third house’s thoughts and ideas, and draw out the underlying sentiment in their way of thinking. It’s like someone finally sees you! The moon will feel charmed by this level of friendship and openness, understood, seen, having a sense of comfort and communication with the third house person that takes them months to get even with their longtime friends. The house person will love to ‘house’ the moon this way and listening to the moon person open up will be second nature to them. I’ve seen that people can grow really important to each other with this aspect. Think of that one person you can always reconnect with, no matter what. Think of that one person ever that you’ve met with whom small talk actually went genuinely nice and smooth and pleasant, and not so small even.

[britcision]

Not gonna lie, we’ve been watching YuYu Hakusho alongside the release of Delicious In Dungeon and uh

It’s been illuminating

Like on the one hand hoooooooboy you can taste the 90s animation techniques (and the Netflix version is somehow more strobey and seizure bait, and they’ve fucked random chunks of audio?? I have the dvds I can prove they’ve fucked around)

On the other hand… yeah, it really, really highlights what people have already been talking about with the Delicious In Dungeon - the pacing issues, especially with going shot for shot from the manga instead of embracing their own medium

Cuz I will stand by YuYu Hakusho being the best anime version of a manga I’ve ever seen. It’s true to the manga, but keeps up the pacing and fleshes things out by leaning more into the side characters, and particularly our audience surrogates, Koenma and George

The fights all pace well because we cut to the people watching them, so it’s not just repetitive punch punch punch shots (although we do get those)

Whereas this week’s episode of DunMeshi in particular…. Really suffered from skewed pacing on that fight

They had way too much time just standing around talking, both with the harpies and in between Falin’s attacks, and I’d bet even an anime-only fan could pick out which shots were literal panels in the anime because nothing moved to flow between them

Those shots of the separated groups especially; this is anime, not manga. Those people could have been moving, interacting, doing things instead of panning over a still

I get that it takes more time and money but this was a really significant fight and it does make me worry a little for season 2, because the red dragon fight also had some pacing problems (although to a much lesser degree) and season 2 is when the combat pops off

I really do appreciate them wanting to do a faithful interpretation of the manga and sticking close to Ryoko Kui’s vision, but anime is its own medium and by sticking too closely they’re not taking full advantage of that medium

You have more time to fill in an animated episode vs a manga chapter because your characters literally move and flow, and three panels of action happen in a second

They’ve been folding two or three chapters into each episode, but this week’s especially (ep 17) really played too close to that two chapter timeline, instead of taking out the important story beats and the time to fill and working out how to pace around that instead

(Funnily enough though, they actually nailed the exact same kinda pacing issue in the exact same episode for the Laios and Shuro fight; that one was fucking great, it was clear that action was ongoing even while we focused on other people, and it had good weight and emphasis despite being largely offscreen, just like the harpy fight should have been

I. Guess. They coulda put more work into that than the Falin fight? Cuz it’s a huge character moment but for fuck’s sake Chimera!Falin SHOULD be the bigger one! We the audience got hints but this was the REVEAL)

Honestly just… the 1000% disinterest in the harpy fight was jarring, and it leading immediately into the Falin fight that was basically stop motion without the time lapse didn’t help

Cutting to Marcille and Shuro on the shirt tear was fucking great though, chef’s kiss, someone out there is still watching over us, I just hope they work out a happy medium soon

I get that there’s lots of iconic and fantastic panels in the manga, I made a complete summary of every single chapter, but the anime shouldn’t be showing them as stills

The characters should be moving in between them, not snapping from one face to the next like a slide show

In a perfect world I’d also love some more little character asides and things a la YYH, but there just isn’t the same easy audience characters to cut to

But but but

Thistle reacting a la Koenma to some snippets of the bullshit in his dungeon would give me fucking LIFE he can’t be watching all the time for obvious plot reasons but I want him to find a veggie golem

I want him to see the kraken and find some leftovers and be searching for Delgal and plotting their dinner and wondering why he can smell something delicious and what is it and can he make that

Move the background stuff that got cut from the Tances’ episodes, cut to Namari and the twins hanging out and talking about leg guards, there’s SO MUCH supplemental material

It might be less one for one to the manga but it’d stop the weird dragging out and give us something more, something extra to appreciate the anime on its own merits

It’s nice to have an anime experience that is very close to reading the manga, but it’s something really special to have the anime shine and add to the experience on its own

Anyway next week is the shapeshifter and I’m so hype for that and wondering if they are gonna include just a smidge of meta knowledge since Kui did tell us whose impersonations are whose 👀

[elleloquently]

hey!! requesting an ellie x (female) reader where reader is just as stubborn, protective, and, perhaps, closed off as ellie is. maybe just some angst about how much they love each other but both find it hard to open up and be vulnerable considering they’ve both lost so much. happy or angsty ending up to you!!

| a/n : so sorry this literally took ages my goodness... i kinda went rogue with this one because i had an idea that i really wanted to use eek love ya <3

| c/w : angst, swearing - happy ending

cowboy like me - ellie williams

eyes full of stars,

hustling for the good life

never thought i'd meet you here

it could be love

we could be the way forward, and i know i'll pay for it...

despite the fondness that ellie held for you, she had barely spoke to you when you had first arrived in jackson.

it was almost like looking in a mirror.

she wasn't on patrol that day, but she heard the story that night. some girl they found, alone. the people she was with didn't make it.

ellie saw you, hands trembling but head held high. you were terrified and struck with grief, and despite your determination to seem unphased... ellie saw right through you.

always a survivor, even when you didn't ask for it.

a fighter.

"that girl's a fighter," the phrase always paired with a shake of the head and a chuckle, a gleam in the eye that seemed almost ignorant.

the fight was no longer your own, it was just guilt.

guilt of all the people you had lost, all of the people who didn't get to make it as far as you did. because if you didn't make it in the end, after everything, what would it all be for?

yeah. ellie saw right through you.

you would be lying if you said that ellie didn't also pique your interest - freckles that adorned her cheeks and nose and those green eyes that pulled you in and made you feel tempted to confess your every secret.

you wanted to know ellie.

that's where you came to a different standing, in which ellie was prone to avoid and you wanted to attach. you were tired. desperate to have someone to talk to that would understand everything. if you learned anything, it was that your life could end in an instant. you didn't want to waste time, humming about and stealing glances and never allowing your thoughts to become words.

ellie would disagree. she didn't want another person to lose.

despite the push and pull, the bruised flame of attraction simply couldn't draw either of you away. you had won ellie over. ellie had gotten the girl, and ellie refused to lose the girl.

you found solace in each other, a quiet partnership on patrol. you worked well together, always watching the other's back. the fatal flaw of feeling certainly played a factor, but it was disguised as nothing more than a job well done.

as time went on, you both defrosted with the season. smiles cracked in the daylight, longing stares under the moon. despite the stubbornness, neither of you were stupid. you could never be just friends.

"ellie," you called, looking for her throughout the house. "i'm going."

she appeared in the doorway as you were pulling on your boots. a frown was etched on her lips. "going where?"

you rolled your eyes. silly. "i have patrol this morning."

ellie's eyes widened in disbelief, "bullshit," she called. "we don't have patrol today."

you shook your head. "we don't, i do," you explained simply.

"with who?"

"with jesse," you answered with a sigh. you eyed ellie carefully, trying to gauge her reaction.

"bullshit," ellie repeated in a mutter, beelining for her jacket and shoes. you held back a groan, you knew this would happen, but still thought that it was worth a shot. you followed after her, determined after you spent all night preparing your argument. it was going to be a day off, but really you were still signed up.

"jesse and i decided that-"

"jesse and you decided?" ellie snorted, shaking her head.

you tried again. "ellie, you're on patrol every single day."

she faced you after pulling on her jacket, expression blank. "and?"

of course ellie was on patrol everyday. it made her feel useful. it gave her something to do. it kept her busy, alert. the more time she spent on patrol, the less time she would have to spend alone. thinking. remembering. the less time she would have to spend with her own regret.

"and you should take a break," you enthused, getting to your point.

you tried to go on patrol with ellie as often as you could. you tried to even take her shifts, but she never budged. you had to fight long and hard to even join her on patrol until she finally obliged, something about making sure you were safe. when you were with her, you felt better. if anything went wrong, you were confident in your ability to put ellie first. that was the last thing that ellie wanted. when you were on patrol together, at least she could ensure your safety.

you hated the way that your stomach twisted in knots every time that she had a shift without you.

"i don't need a break, and that's not your call," ellie reminded you. she knew exactly what you were doing.

"you're right," you said automatically. there was no point in arguing against it. "i just think that for today-"

"no," ellie interrupted plainly.

"come on. jesse is more than capable-"

"i know he is," ellie cut you off once more.

you pushed out a breath, determined to hold your ground without losing your temper. "what? and i'm not?" you questioned pointedly.

"i did not say that," ellie spoke, looking at you seriously. of course you were capable. more than capable. in fact, it almost scared her.

“what if i go?” ellie continued, giving you a tight lipped smile. “i’ll go with jesse.”

you frowned, causing ellie to sigh in defeat. you both knew that wasn’t going to happen. it was impossibly tense, trying to be in a relationship where you both tried to counter every possible action before it happened. jackson was safe, especially compared to everywhere else, but the burden of the outside made it impossible to let your guard down.

despite your love for each other, you felt like you were playing a part. it didn’t work, trying to be with someone without opening up, investing yourself fully.

“you’re not on the schedule,” you tried lightly.

“that’s funny, i think i originally was.” ellie raised an eyebrow, scanning your face.

you had to stick it out, you knew it and ellie knew it.

"come on, els," you tried. softer. "you've been so tired."

"i've been fine," ellie pressed. she was trying not to be stern, but she wasn't doing a good job.

you faltered, and ellie was quick to pick up on it.

your friendship, once upon a time, felt easy. it was built upon mutual understanding and respect. you went well together, until you ventured into a new territory. desperate to be closer but unwilling to open your hearts, you felt doomed. you once worked well together, but the more you began to care, the more it was a constant competition to protect the other.

you were both growing selfish.

"i'm sorry," you finally said, but none of the tension was relieved from ellie's features. "i'm sorry, it won't happen again."

your apology didn't ease ellie's nerves, as she looked more troubled than before. you didn't wait for her to speak again, and instead made your way to the front door.

"don't." ellie warned. your hand hovered above the doorknob.

you were growing tired of the dramatics.

"ellie, it's just patrol."

"so why the shift change?"

at this point ellie couldn't tell if she was truly still annoyed, or just stalling to keep you in her presence a little longer.

"i'll be back soon," you dismissed. when you left, ellie didn't follow you.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

the house was empty by the time that you had gotten back from patrol. ellie's place was empty too.

you spent about twenty minutes sulking about until you dragged yourself out of the house again, deciding to go to the tipsy bison.

a sigh escaped you at once when you spotted ellie, accompanied by jesse at the bar.

"hey stranger," you tried meekly, sliding into a seat beside ellie. ellie didn't meet your gaze, though her cheeks turned crimson.

jesse shot you an apologetic look. he mouthed good luck and patted your shoulder before quietly excusing himself.

you waited, hoping that ellie would speak but she didn't. the tense air was growing unbearable. you had been fighting it off for weeks, but the fight wasn't necessarily helpful if you both danced around every difficult topic.

"was he here to smooth things over?" you asked, no longer being able to handle the silence.

"yeah. but i'm not mad at jesse," ellie answered, giving you hope.

"oh, that's goo-"

"because obviously it wasn't his idea." ellie gave you a pointed look, and your heart lurched. at least she looked at you.

when ellie was on patrol, it wasn't a big deal. she did what she had to do and she did it efficiently. it was routine. when you were on patrol, ellie could only think of the million things that could potentially go wrong. she knew that you had already experienced the worst of what the world had to offer, you weren't a stranger to loss. however, ellie also had a glance into your heart, and she felt deeply that you deserved more than what the world had given you. her own pain made her feel hollow. she was resigned to it, almost fearful as if she were losing the fight for her own life. but for you? it wasn't fair. none of it was fair, and ellie wanted to make sure you would never have to experience anything like that again.

which made it so much more difficult when you were trying to do the same thing for her.

neither of you spoke about it, ever. too proud to admit your fears, too scared of the idea that if you said them out loud, they would suddenly become true. you grew fearful that resentment would grow in its place.

you swallowed hard. "i know it was stupid."

"you can't do shit like that. how am i supposed to protect you if you do shit like that?" ellie posed, shaking her head.

you frowned, eyebrows knitting together. "your job is not to protect me."

"isn't it?" ellie gaped at you, exasperated.

"no," you replied with narrow eyes.

ellie opened her mouth to speak, but quickly changed her train of thought. "then why do you act like it's your job to protect me? i don't need that," she snapped.

you gaped at her, not wanting to say something that you might regret but also knowing that she was right. it was an exhausting, endless fucking cycle and you just wanted to be able to feel like a person around her, and not like you constantly had to be on the defense.

ellie retreated when she saw the look your face. "i need to get some air," she mumbled, leaving you alone before you had a moment to protest. you quickly got up as well, blindly following along behind her auburn hair.

it didn't take you long to catch up, and you were tugging on her arm within a moment. ellie stopped in her tracks instantly.

"i feel like... like i don't know how to be... just a.. girlfriend?" you awkwardly ranted, looking anywhere except for at ellie.

ellie forced out a heavy sigh, rubbing her eye with the back of her hand.

"it was easier before. at least, i could pretend it was. now it feels like there's more on the line and i-" you hesitated, shaking your head.

"i wouldn't forgive myself, if something happened," ellie said flatly. "i couldn't."

"i know," you murmured. you knew that you loved ellie. ellie knew that you loved her. and yet, it felt terrifying to say it. to even utter the word in the light of day made you more uneasy than the thought of fighting off infected.

"i really am sorry," you said again. "it was plain dumb. i get so worried, and i feel like i need to control-"

"everything?" ellie finished, a small, sad smile upon her lips.

you nodded.

"i'm sorry i've been tough on you lately, about patrol," ellie mumbled. "i know you can handle it, i just get-"

"worried?"

ellie nodded.

the air was thick and ellie wished it was easy, being in love and accepting that not everything could be up to her.

"i didn't want you to like me," ellie admitted, earning a concerned look from you. "when you first got here. i just knew. and i didn't want to have to worry about losing you."

"you won't," you reassured her. ellie nodded and there was a mutual understanding, an unspoken sympathy for your shared fear. "but i'm scared too," you confessed, hating how weak your voice sounded when the words left your lips.

ellie looked uncomfortable at the sentiment, even though she felt the same way. "it'll be okay," she said, her tone unconvincing.

"ellie," you frowned. "i don't want to be scared to love you."

your words made ellie's insides feel like ice, and she felt like an idiot for all of the times that she had pushed you away instead of pulling you closer. denial wouldn't make it any easier.

"i don't want you to be scared," ellie mumbled, and she really meant it.

you thought that you were over being scared. you'd been face to face with monsters, those of infected and men, and you had managed. but something about ellie made you feel weak, weak in a way that she was your biggest soft spot and you didn't know exactly how to handle it.

you nodded quickly, wanting to laugh off the emotion.

ellie pressed a kiss to your forehead, glancing over your face.

"c'mon, let's get you home, yeah?" she said softly, wrapping one arm around you.

you obliged, on the condition of ellie staying, to which she said that she would stay as long as you would like.

you felt heavier and lighter at the same time, weighed down with the self conscious feeling that came from being vulnerable. lighter, because you were no longer side stepping at any indication of a serious conversation. sure you knew that ellie felt the same way, but being able to discuss it was just different. you loved ellie, and to love her fully was to accept your fear of losing her.

ellie had accepted that she loved you, despite how hard she tried to shut off that part of herself. it kept her human, it kept her alive and it gave her something to fight for.

"don't ever let jesse take one of my shifts again," ellie warned, but her tone was lighter now, more playful than serious.

"i won't," you grumbled, to which ellie kissed your head once more.