#for how much i love medics i dont make much of em

[elfelt-valentine]

my collection of guys is ever growing

[luvforemikai]

Meant to be

synopsis ~ paul and y/n have been together for some time now. making commitments most people dont. but those commitments might end up being too dangerous in the end when y/n's life is on the line.

warnings ~ pregnancy, death, blood (i think thats it. lmk if there's more)

-----------------------------------------

Y/N and Paul Lahote were seen as twin flames. Inseparable. Destined to be together. You both knew this too and never doubted it.

2 years into the relationship y/n had just found out you were expecting. This was a special moment for you because you'd always talk about how you wanted kids with paul. It seemed a little rushed to have kids at the young ages you were so both of you decided to wait. Now was the time. One pregnancy test changed your lives forever.

About one month in, y/n and paul were beyond excited to they started talking about baby names right away. "How about.. Lily for girl or Liam for boy.." Paul said. He wanted something simple. Basic. Easy to pronounce so there would be no problems down the road. "Mm no, i was thinking something more different. Like.. Natalina for girl or Hasini for boy" Y/n wanted something special. Unique. Rare. Known between only them. You didnt care about pronunciation. There was no problem with correcting people if they ever got it wrong. After all this was your first child together. Y/n wanted it to be special. Paul may have had a few objections with the name y/n chose. Something cultural so their child can always remember where they come from. Paul wanted short and simple names like Diamond or Rose. Either way, you still had 8 months to firgure it out so there was no need to rush.

"Paul! Lets go, we're gonna be late!"......"I'm coming! Do you really think I'd miss my babies ultrasound and gender reveal?" You both pecked eachother on the lips and head out the door, excited to find out the gender of your baby... "It looks like you two are having.. a girl!! Congratulations!" Said the nurse. We both were beyond excited. Paul kissed y/n on the forehead.

9 months into the pregnancy, y/n and paul were overly excited. Sadly sam had to pull paul for some patrolling. You didnt mind much, sam was really generous towards the two of you the entire pregnancy. Emily coming over helping you with the basics that you couldnt get done because of your swollen pregnant belly. It was a nice gesture. But that day you had to get out of the house. You were craving food badly. You asked Emily to leave so you could get yourself something to eat. "You go easy on yourself y/n. That baby will be coming any day now. Rest." Emily said concerned. "I will Em. Thank you, now please go, you've taken really good care of me". You two hugged and Emily headed out the door. You had a tough time slipping your shoes on but you finally did it. Heading out the door you got bad contractions that stopped you in your tracks. You decided to sit this one out and wouldnt risk it.

Sitting down watching tv, you get a text. You look at it and its paul.

P - "I'm gonna be coming home late baby, there's some rogue vampires in the area that we have to keep an eye on. I'll be home soon, hopefully. Keep the doors locked, and call me if you need help. I'll come as fast as i can. I love you."

This scared you considering paul was killable. Especially when it comes to vampires. But you remained calm and rubbed your swollen belly, smiling.

A few hours pass and you're in extreme pain. Contractions are closing in. You didnt think much of it, thinking it was simple braxton hicks. Up until your water broke. You called paul a dozen times but he wouldnt pick up. Afriad for you and mostly your baby, you called an ambulance, not caring about vampires. While medics were getting you on a gurnee, you grabbed a folded piece of paper on your nightstand, putting it in your pocket.

Here you were at the hospital, giving birth to your baby girl. Paul no where in sight. You're alone and surrounded by nurses. The last push and you finally see your baby girl. She had brown eyes and a ton of hair. She was sat on your chest when suddenly you felt a wave of drowsiness. Your lips started to turn pale and your eyes were rolling. The nurses called a code blue and brought in defibrillators to wake your heart. But it was too late.. the nurse took the baby to the nursery.

Paul is in the woods and shifts back into a human with the rest of the pack. They make their way to Emily's. When they arrive emily is there and she looks defeated. "Hey Em. Weren't you supposed to be with Y/n today?" Paul asks. There's silence between everyone and Paul's heart drops. "Whats wrong." "Is it y/n?" "Did something happen?" The pack members bombard emily with questions. "I got a call. Y/n was rushed to the hospital, something was wrong". Paul freaks and pulls out his phone. Seeing the dozen missed calls from y/n..

Paul storms into the hospital asking nurses and doctors where you are. "Are you paul lahote?" A nurse asks and she gives him a sad look. "Y/n had her baby but... she died of complications im sorry". Paul looks purely shocked. "What?" He asks. "I can show you to her if you'd like" the nurse says. Guiding him to your room. You lay there lifeless and paul breaks down. The nurse attempts to leave. "Wait. Is the baby fine, where is she" paul asks with tears rolling down his cheeks. The nurse guides him to a separate room where she then brings the baby in. She hands paul your child while he smiles. She then pulls out a folded piece of paper. "Y/n had this in her pocket when she was picked up in the ambulance. She made it known that we had to give this to you.". She gives him the paper and quietly leaves.

"Dear paul, the love of my life. If you're reading this, then things didn't go as planned. I was undecided on making this but if something happened to me i didn't wanna leave you alone and confused. You already know this but my mom died during my birth and the pain my father felt was too much to bear so he took it out on me. I dont want you to become that pain and sorrow my father was. So this note is your closure. If i dont make it please protect our baby girl like you once did with me. I want her to have a stable and loving family. Something i did not have. I trust that you'll be there for her through everything. Birthdays, boyfriends, marriage. Everything that i wont see. Please live your life knowing i died loving you with everything in me. Every date, every hug. Every kiss, has meant more to me than anything. You've made my life a thousand times better. And for that i would never forget you nor die without you on my mind and in my heart. I always knew we were meant to be, even in death. Now please. Be happy and dont hold yourself back. And tell our daughter, RoseEmika Lahote that her mommy died loving the very best of her."

Paul wiped a tear from his wet cheeks and smiled. Holding our daughter, he told her "Meant to be".

-----------------------------------------

Maybe i cried during this, maybe i didnt. Im pretty proud of this. Considering its my first fanfic and all

[prettyboypistol]

I love your writing so much!!! Could i perhaps request... to dom the boston man again... i dont really care when or where or how or what i just really wanna SQUEEZE HIM!! thank ya kindly continue doin what your doin

TF2 Scout x M!Reader || Daddy Issues +18

[Bottom!Scout/Top!Reader][Drunk Sex][Semi-Realistic Mentions of Prep Before Sex][First Time][Mildly Rough Sex]

Mentions of: - VOMIT(nothing graphic) - DRUNKEN HAZE INTO A MAKEOUT - DUBCON(both of yall are consenting, but drunk)

A few shots of tequila into a neutral zone day had you and Scout looser and over in a much better mood than usual. While Scout had devolved into an ego contest with the enemy Scout, you sat there merely watching him as you idly chatted with the other team's Sniper. He was a lot more friendly than your Sniper was- ever the isolationist he tended to be. Nevertheless, Sniper chuckled and leaned closer to you with a knowing glint in his eyes.

"Y'know, I'm not one to judge, but there's a good chance you might get lucky with him if you play your cards right." He murmured lowly, as if the words he spoke were dirty and filthy for public manners. They were, in a sense, but still. This was a meetup of men who openly murdered each other for fun and for money, acting as if they were good friends.

You chuckled and rolled your eyes. "Yeah, just like how my Spy nearly stabbed you not 20 minutes ago for offering to buy him a drink?"

"I just need to work him a bit." Sniper retorted. "I can tell he loves the danger of a survivalist- he's just too wound up to admit it."

"Wait, really?" You asked as you furrowed your brow. "How do you know that?"

Sniper laughed.

"I stole a few psych books from my Medic a while back to occupy my time with, one was a psycho-sexual connection thing all about how people get off to things that bother 'em. Like how your Spy just needs a man like me to throw him around." Sniper chuckled and dropped his voice a tad as he noticed your gaze land on your Scout again. "Or how Mister "pay attention to me" over there wants to call you Daddy."

You jolt away from Sniper, which nearly caused the stool you sat in to fall over behind you. You look at him incredulously, perhaps with a little glare, and make a tad flustered goodbye as you left your seat.

"Just try it out mate." You heard him say from behind you- that stupid smile still probably on his face. You didn't have time to spin around and flip him off, as Scout bumped into you with a slurred smile. Ah hell, what's one more shot?

Well, one more shot had you coming to as you felt a slight bit colder, your back was up against a wall, and there was a wet sensation in your mouth and over your lips; was that your tongue in your mouth? The noises around you blurred together strangely as you tried to figure out where you were. It sounded like another person was with you, a little bit at least. Your world still spun around slightly.

"-been waitin' for ages to do this-" You heard a voice say as a warmth pressed further against your chest, more than it already was, anyway.

"Scout?" You muttered, you felt your jaw have weight that you never knew it had before. God, you felt tired.

You pushed the body away from you, moving to sit down on the nearby bed to get a grip on your world before you did anything stupid.

"You okay dude?" Scout asked as he sat down next to you. You wanted to kiss him so fucking bad jesus christ-

"Sorry, my head's a bit fuzzy, I- uh, I need to sit down for a second." You breathed slowly as your vision finally started to make sense.

"Awe, drink too much?" Scout chuckled. "I'da thought you puked it all outta you a few minutes ago!"

"That- what? That's not how being drunk works?" You mumbled out as you snagged Scout's water bottle and took a few sips. The room temperature water never tasted better to you as the lingering taste of burning booze in your throat washed out for a moment.

You turned to look at Scout properly once you finally gained your vision back well enough to understand where you were. Scout had taken off his shirt and scooted closer to you with a weak smile.

"Do you still wanna do this?" Scout asked softly. You nodded, impulsively pushing Scout onto his bed with a rather forceful and overpowering kiss. Scout whined as he wrapped his gangly legs around your waist, the friction made your cock throb in need from an erection you didn't know you had.

You finally took the pleasure into your hands, intentionally seeking out your release as Scout whimpered and moaned from your touches. You could feel the bumps of Scout's ribs through his chest as his heart pounded in his chest.

"You've got my full attention babyboy, tell Daddy what you want." You groaned softly against Scout's neck as you placed a rather claiming kiss to the runner's throat. The words seemed to have an effect on Scout, as he thrusted his hips against you with a squeak. As you pulled away, your boytoy let out a protest, but you grabbed his face with one of your hands and glared at him with a domineering edge.

"Always whining like a brat to be looked at, well? What do you want?"

"Oh god- yeah, uh-" Scout spluttered. "God, I need you inside me."

With a few awkward shuffles and a removal of Scout's boxers and your drawstring pants, you were guided to Scout's ass as he retold the story about how you two stumbled through a mini enima-esque ritual which resulted in you puking into Scout's bathroom trashcan and Scout nearly passing out due to laughing too hard. Scout handed you a jar of vaseline, as he devolved into a little fit of giggles as he remembered the sight of you.

Although, the moment your finger pressed against him and slipped the first knuckle inside, Scout stiffened and gasped at the cold touch of the lube and your hands. You knew what to do, you've had sex before with other men; Scout acted and whimpered as if he hadn't.

"First time, prettyboy?" You laughed.

"I mean, with a guy like you, yeah." Scout nodded into his pillows.

"Alright, I'll be a little kind with you."

"Nah nah, fuck me up! I can take it!" Scout goaded as he pushed his ass deeper against your fingers with a groan. "I've been doin' this to myself for ages! Also- can I actually call you Daddy? Please?"

Well, who were you to deny your babyboy?

It was rather quick before you pressed inside of Scout, with the sweet gangle of limbs and attitude whining at just the head of your dick inside him. You weren't massive or anything, but the whimpering certainly boosted your confidence.

Little thrusts were protested against as Scout begged for something deeper and gut-twisting.

You laid against Scout's back as you set a mean and harsh pace, your mouth right by Scout's ear.

"You've got Daddy's eye, c'mon, what's it you've been wanting to say?" You couldn't help but tease as Scout barely slurred out a coherent sentence between his moans and whimpers as he jerked himself off haphazardly.

"Oh god- oh fuck, Daddy jus'-t!" Scout wailed as his bedframe rattled against the wall. The resulting banging on the wall from a rather unimpressed Engineer, but you paid no mind as the tight squeezing around your dick was more desirable to think about than the lecture you were gonna get tomorrow.

"That's it Scout, say my fucking name."

Scout let out a silent scream as you pulled his hair. With a keening whine and choked gasp his body shuddered as his orgasm knocked both of you for a loop. The feeling of Scout around you, the way he begged for you to ruin him, hell, even the shots you did loosening your inhibitions culminated in you pumping only a few shallow times as you pulled out to shoot your semen over Scout's lower back with a sigh of relief.

You didn't drink that much, hopefully you both would remember tonight.

And even if you didn't, the mess you both woke up to was more than enough of a reminder.

[ma-lark-ey]

Lark Liveblogs Literature: THE SUNSHINE COURT BABYYYYY LETS GO JEAN

to begin: THE COVER???

The fucking NARCISSUS/DAFFODIL. Stop stop stop. Nora stop. She said it wouldn’t be a sun but I WASNT READY.

RESILIENCE. FIRST BLOOM AT THE END OF WINTER. NEW BEGINNINGS AND REBIRTH.

warning in advance for how many reaction images will be in this post. Miss Nora Sakavic has a way of making me unable to verbalise how devistated I am so I turn to goofy photos.

Also, just so we’re all on the same page:

it’s 1:20 AM. My roommate IS asleep. I am fighting the demons (downloading this book) but i am winning (it is queued on my kindle)

ITS DOWNLOADED LETS GO

Okay so context is that my Kindle is at 10%

I tried to go to bed and read this in the morning but I am

SO NOW I HAVE FRANTICALLY FOUGHT A WAR (figured out how to get this book) AND I AM READY FOR BATTLE (to cry over Jean)

ONE, TWO, THREE, LETS GO BITCH!!

Also my kindle cord is too small for me to properly lay in bed so im literally about to lay on my stomach kicking my feet like a middle schooler WISH. ME. LUCK.

CHAPTER ONE:

oh we’re jumping right in okay. god. hi baby :((

OH. I am just adding onto my #1 Riko hater agenda right now.

“The golden rule— not where the public can see” DIE. LITERALLY DIE TETSUJI

“The lack of broken fingers this time” THIS TIME??? JEAN. JEAN.

im so.

RENEE!!!

“and he had wasted them texting Renee a heads-up.” Nora please we’re only four pages in bro

Renee i love you im marrying you please give me a kiss. Mwah Mwah Mwah. She said “Bitch. Lay back down.”

currently also reading a batshit raven!neil fic and just. on the ground. about all of this.

stop the way I literally went “who the fuck is Nathaniel” Im too transgender for this.

Me, seeing the Abby content we need in this world:

Jean dont call that hellscape home bbg

Renee beating self worth into this man. ily

“Jean couldnt remember the last time he was allowed to wear color” LITERALLY KILL ME

Nora I need you to be less good at describing pain please and thanks

NOT THE BITING

DADMACK DADMACK DADMACK DADMACK!!

he fr be moving this man like a doll. love you wymack

tied him up with racquet laces I. h. lays on floor softly crying.

NOT THE DADDY ISSUES

Jean fr out here plotting 50 ways to kill his brother. he fr though Neil was the problem. no girl Neil just has no tact and autism rizz. Kevins the fucking snitch

no one:

Jean @ the Moriyamas;

“that man is years overdue for a head-on high-speed collision” YOU TELL EM DADMACK

CHAPTER TWO:

Jean please just sleep like a normal human man. God.

Even Jean be out here like “Kevins a little Chihuahua ass drama queen. Bitchboy. Wet cat man.”

Kevin: look, bro, if the 5’3 twink with enough daddy issues to make riko blush and chugs ‘fuck around and find out’ juice for breakfast can escape the moriyamas and not die, so can you.

Testuji. Testuji when I catch you. Tetsuji

Jean what the fuck makes you think anyone but Andrew Minyard will ever tell Neil what to do. Girl.

“If I am not a Raven, who am I?” A MOTHERCUCKING TROJAN BABYYYY

“I have to go to my next class.” I forgot they were in college deadass. Neil is straight up my age im gonna throw up.

Okay. It is. *checks time* 3 AM. I cannot keep my eyes open, which means i must put Jean away for sleep.

ITS IS NOON THE FOLLOWING DAY. I HAVE SLEPT. I HAVE TAKEN MY MEDICATIONS. TIME TO HYPERFOCUS BABY.

KINDLE SAYS WE HAVE 8 hrs 27 mins LEFT IN THIS BOOK. IM SAYING GOODBYE TO MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY. I’LL SEE Y’ALL AT DINNEE TIME. ITS JEAN TIME.

Hiiiiiii Thea….

“Good morning, Paris.” Now, the average man will see this as a reference to his frenchness. but real ones know Paris is prince of Troy, the man who married Helen of Troy & started the Trojan war.

do y’all think Jean has a french accent wait wait wait. obviously itd be very slight at this point but is it there. necessary question.

Assessing Thea like a fucking state exam right now. Neil could not have cared less about your ass I am gaining so much information

Hate of my life Riko moriyama.

CHAPTER THREE:

JEREMY FUCKING KNOW HI BAYYYBY

the way I literally got up and had to pace and stim for a moment even though I fully expected this. autism. my roommate is concerned. not really. she’s used to this she watched me read TKM and dramatically reenact the Ichirou Car Talk.

wow??? AFTG team actually seems happy and well-adjusted and friendly with each other??

Random Note: I’m currently watching Blue Exorcist & one of the main characters is a girl name Moriyama and I’m literally just sitting here like “This girl is way to nice and innocent to have that name.” Because she literally is the nicest girl to ever exist. Why is she cursed with the same name as my mortal enemy (Testuji)

“Tonight’s experiment was the icing on the cake, an invaluable experience no matter how it ended.” Jeremy, my love.

He has empathy… Never before seen footage. Y’all get the cameras!!

He’s so shaken about Jean,,, holding you so gently Jeremy. Here as a guy who knows nothing at all about Jeremy since I’m. so new here. but god.

Jeremy: are you sure a Raven can abide by Troja—

Kevin: Bro Jean is so pathetic he’s a bottom fr. He never disobeys an order

Jeremy: I. Okay you didnt have to say it like that, bro.

I will literally never stop respecting the Trojans strat in the final they really said. “If these fucks can win the championships with nine players, surely we can.” and then willingly got their asses handed to them.

“Xavier stumbled when he got the next serve off, and the Fox guarding him gamely hauled him back upright before running for the ball. It was a simple gesture, but it endeared Jeremy to them” I dont remember if this bit was described in tkm so i’m going to guess that’s Nicky or Matt. Aaron would fucking never.

Nah because like. Yes this proved to the Trojans how resilient the Foxes were, but it was also a message to the audience, yk? Like we know the Foxes were getting shit for their quick rise to the top after they pulled their shit together, but I personally think that the Trojans did this both for their improvement & for Foxes’ publicity. This game proved to the public at large how devastatingly *good* the Foxes were, because of their small size. The second best team in the league crumbled playing the same conditions the Foxes did *every game* and got to championships with. They proved that Foxes were, in fact, a D1 team who earned their keep.

oh hes got daddy’s money. Well. not. officially. yo what I mean.

“it was always best to have a paper trail” Neil Josten would have an anuerysm hearing those words.

Bye Jeremy I’m. Love you so much. Why do you feel like a sixty year old man in your early twenties.

“between seven and twelve students.” yikes.

“unfamiliar and accented voice.” I WAS RIGHT I FUCKING CALLED IY HES GOT AN ACCENT BABY FUCK YEAH

“you ever feel like— like you’re making a choice you cant come back from? But even knowing everything could go completely sideways, you’d make that choice every time?” okay so coming out allegories i could make aside, Jeremy is so… where to start with him. He reminds me of Percy Jackson. Endlessly loyal and selfless to the point its a bit stupid but endearingly stupid.

CHAPTER FOUR:

Okay so we’re alresdy hateflirting. noted.

Its also extremely sunny today in Podunk Hicksville where I live so it feels very On Brand.

“Jean had seen that smile in a half-dozen broadcast… He could picture it too easily, and he dug his fingernails into his own face in vicious warning.” Awww you think you can best the gay worms in your brain. goodluck with that Johnny.

“isn’t that reason enough to keep living? To rediscover simple delight one moment at a time,” keeping this quote for eternity

“enough sunlight to chase away Evermore’s shadows. They are willing to take a chance on you. Aren’t you?”

Kevin Day autistic king. taking this hesdcannon to my grave .

“the conspiracy theorists were working overtime” no girl they just aint stupid.

THEY DESTROYED HIS POSTCARDS…

CHAPTER FIVE:

I want to start keeping record of all the times Jean is like “[name] wasn’t decent enough to [thing]” because its SO funny. We LOVE a petty king.

also keeping track of all the insults he throws at Neil.

Neil likes to think he’s SUUUUCH a loner boy no friends angsty “dont speak to me” resting bitch face ass motherfucker. In reality he is a jack russell terrier — ceritifed jack russell owner who’s dog thinks hes soooo big and bad but said dog literally cries when you dont let him in the bed or say hi to people on the street

Jean is SOOOOOO dramatic 😭😭

Jean: Why would you let Kevin do this.

Neil: let him?? He did that on his own.

Jean: you’re proud of him for being a problem, arent you?

Neil: oh you fucking know I am, bitchass

“but other than his outstanding murder charge there was nothing interesting about that Fox.” i’d consider that very interesting information, Jean. Youre just deranged

“with milk, juice, and vodka dominating one shelf” that’s Aaron, Nicky, Andrew/Kevin in order. Im correct.

“There was an entire drawer dedicated to cheese.” Yeah that sounds like Nicky.

“Half the drawer was full of mini candy bars. Jean threw them all into the trash” bro Andrew is going to kill you in cold blood and not even Neil can save you.

Jean is SO dramatic. Give him Kevin’s crown.

Jean @ Neil during the final: ARE YOU WITHOUT INTELLIGENCE????? ARE YOU STUPID??? DO YOU WANT TO DIE??

Seeing the media coverage of the championship is the food I needed thank you Nora for this. I am eating it up. om nom nom

The sportscasters referring to athletes with their first name is batshit. What. why. huh. Absolutely not.

CHAPTER SIX:

Renee protecting Jean from discovering Riko’s death through media & not through them…

Everytime boys start fistfighting in this series I hear Roxanne from Megamind. “Ladies, ladies, you’re BOTH pretty.”

a) Jeans reaction to finding out was exaclty what I expected

b) I’m FASCINATED to know who called campus security. Jeremy?? Renee?? Someone in Fox tower???

Neil was gentle with someone other than Andrew? I didnt know he knew how to do that…

NEIL. NEIL JOSTEN. YEAH BABY

HES ROOMING WITH CAT AND LAILA??? YES YEA YES YESY

the Jean-Renee dynamic is so fucking important to me. MLM/WLW solidarity. theyre besties.

THEYRE SO IMPORTANT TO ME BRO.

Literally snuggling Jeremy

Oh he’s got Fox potential. Hiiii Jeremy. Give me the traumadump bbg

THEY/THEM??? DO MY EYES DECEIVE ME OR IS THIS AN HONEST TO GOD THEY/THEM PLAYER OH ILL CRY. ILL CRU RIGHT NOW

CHAPTER SEVEN:

Oh Jean. you’re about to have such a gay awakening babe i can feel it in my bones.

A FUCKING YOYO??? I LOVE HIM

“A mite bit hecked up” PLEEEASE JUST SAY FUCK /ref

OH HE WAS IN LOVE WITH KEVIN. INTERESTING INTERESTING INTERESTING.

autism coded lookingg motherfucker (stares at Jean.)

The chaos of Cat and Laila’s house is so fucking cute. Its about to be two lesbians and their distrustful pitbull rescue in this bitch and im ready for it.

CHAPTER EIGHT:

watching normal people discover the cult that is Evermore. Finally someone having a normal response to that madness. What the FUCK.

wait theres actually a cardboard dog i thought it was fanon joke.

oh my god there is actually a fucking cardboard dog. i.

jeans brain just got actually shattered by this living room. he cannot comprehend this.

Cat & Jeremy, realizing the cult rumors are real: I THOUGHT YOU WERE KIDDING! I thought it was joke! I even wrote it down in my diary! “Kevin made a very funny joke today!” I laughed at it later that night!

Okay, last night; I went to bed at 2:30 AM 45% through (college my beloathed). we’re back in business.

Jeremy is so disturbed all of the time. goofy ass.

“Loving something is not enough,”

“When was the last time you enjoyed playing?”

“ Irrelevant.”

Whats his shirt look like Jeremy. Jeremy whats the shirt look like. Jeremy. Whats the shirt look like.

Okay so I’ve reached my image limit for this post and I dont have fun reaction images on my laptop. so now I will post this & reblog with the rest of this book.

[maxiemcsoda]

Hand over some Teruya/Kinji headcanons‼️

hihi! sorry for takin so long on this!! i was doing splatoons grand festival all weekend!!

but yes i can give u some of my thoughts on these guys >:)

adding a read more bc it got a little long whoopsie

ok so first off! my sexuality + gender hcs for them;

- kinji is transmasc and nonbinary (they/he) and he's gay (mlm, nblm, nblnb), his identity causes him some distress due to his role in the church and his father being generally unaccepting of queer identities (he also hides his true identity when at home, hopes peak is the first time hes publicly himself)

- teruya is agender (he/him) and gay as well, he does not struggle with his identity, but he did take a while to realize he only liked boys/non-women. he rly thought his dad wanted him to marry a woman, but it turns out his dad is very pan and doesnt care who he dates as long as hes happy :)

ive got a couple different scenarios that i have different scenarios based on what happens in them and ill just list some stuff from all of em

firstly the general stuff that happens no matter what !

- teruya is initially appealing to kinji simply because he's loud but not in your face about it (usually), kinji also really respects that teruya stands very firm on his beliefs

- teruya also has a really good memory, so he remembers gifts and things that kinji likes, he just gives him stuff he likes every now and then, and kinji finds it really sweet

- teruya also makes silly accessories for kinji, theyre all tacky and rainbow themed but he doesnt mind :)

- they both really enjoy healthy food so they end up bonding over that

- kinji eventually gets adopted into teruyas friend group (haru, satsuki, kiyoka), they got along in the gambling extra event (minus kiyoka), so i think theyd be friends!

- kinji ends up close with kiyoka who can see right through him, she KNOWS he likes teruya, but she wont pressure him (too much)

- also teruya just thinks that kinji is so pretty :)

next up is the stuff i have for the ch 3 survivor au (i will get/have gotten to a lot of this in art, so ill probably have less here)

- teruya is initially stuck with kinji because he is the only one who has medical knowledge (they say this ingame), and due to this he ends up being the closest with kinji

- despite teruyas lil breakdown in ch 4, kinji still ends up defending him in the trial due to having gone through something similar previously, and this is kinda when it clicks for real that teruya might like kinji more than he thought

- they both bond over how much they value family, teruya with his dad and kinji with the church kids being the most valued people in their lives. they both respect this about each other immensely over it

- teruya and kinji grow closer after being kind of outcasted in ch 5. teruya had recently lost his two friends, and tsurugi, rei, akane, yuki, and mikako are either standoffish, not willing to get close, or out of commission for one reason or another. they get much closer in this chapter

- they dont actually become a thing until after they escape

now i have stuff that happened if there was no killing game

- without the killing game, they would just be more of acquaintances longer, since the game isnt there to push them to interact

- eventually kinji is the first to realize he does like teruya, and this causes Internal Religious Conflict for him. being a catholic priest means that you cannot love anyone above anyone else your love must be equal. along with this, if kinji chooses to stop being a priest while in high school, he will no longer be able to attend hope's peak, as he would basically be giving up his title.

- kinji suffers from religious trauma, despite the fact that he finds comfort in his religion. this is because most of the guilt weighing on him is caused by his father, so they are rather estranged.

- this trauma isnt something thats fixed relatively easily, but to keep it short, teruya does eventually try to help him become his own person and cope with the trauma. teruya's free spirit really helps this.

- after graduation, kinji would likely prefer to be a pastor over a priest so he can have more freedom with romance.

- he also ends up working at otori mart with teruya, and they have a lil garden together at their home :)

one more extra thing! topic of marriage and kids!

- in any au where kinji lives, so like all of the above, teruya is intending to ask kinji to marry him, its just whether or not the killing games happening defines if he gets to or not

- when they do marry, kinji takes teruya's last name

- in a very specific branch of the kinji survivor au, which i call foundation baby au (this au hinges on mikado never starting the sdra2 killing game), kinji and teruya have a child (through a surrogate mother, setsuka!) named Takara!

- teruya wants to be a good dad like his father, and kinji already likes to take care of children, so its only natural that theyd want one of their own

- Takara calls teruya "papa" and kinji "daddy"

- they raise takara in a way where they can choose their identity and whether or not they believe in religion. takara has found out that they identify as nonbinary and gay (like fathers like child) and that they do want to take part in kinji's religion, they just dont do it as much

- takara interacts with everyone at the kisaragi foundation in some way, theyre like their big mostly-happy family!

- kinji and teruya are very good parents!!

[knizuu]

Talk to me abt uhhh anything- Fang, Petey, OC, idc. ANYTHING U WANT💖💖

PLEASE IM GENUINELY INTERESTED IM NOT DOING THIS JUST CUS U LET ME- /gen

I get so nervous writing asks wtf

DUDE IM SO DUCKING HAPPY +omg same </33

COUGH well imma go in order lets go with the

FANG🫧….

SIGHH I LOVE HIM SM. tbh I see how people react to the recent idw miniseries which left the Hooligan fans really sour </33 to me, though, it wasn’t too bad?? I see how it works and honestly the only sad part to me is WHY DID HOOLIGANS BREAK UP AUH but im so used to “sonic canon ew” so like-I should’ve expected that sigh. So I can reason with how excited people headcannon/draw/make whatever of the guy it’s really cool since we all kinda agree? Like even with such a variety we all take the guy lovingly <33 which is sweet :> like its pretty chill-WHCIH IS FUNNY because Im actually really scared in small communities <- i made a post bout it once i-I EAT UP ANY FAN MADE FANG CONTENT FR i love all fangs really [so far] ^ ^ tbh even my school knows that-I did pottery of him, drawn him, spoke of him, my teacher saw a drawing of Fang I did and HE QUOTE: I was looking for that [SIR I GET IT IM PREDICATABLE/silly]

PETEY💠

Ok as much as heartfelt I feel about Fang-Petey is just some other freak of nature my family knows. I’m NOT EVEN JOKING-MY MOM SANG ABOUT HIM WHILE MAKING LUNCH/GEN GEN GEN-cough. Idk why but ever since my brother [the first dog man fan obviously] inserted dog man into my family [by 1. SHOWING MY FANART/BOOKS TO MUM 2. LETTING ME SING THE MUSICAL ALL DAY LON-/positive fs] its been insane/sILLY because-who expected everyone to say “Papa Petey” [i do NOT know how some typo made mo-ok my mom has a Petey problem/sILY AGAIN] in the car-at home…NOT ME THATS WHO. WHY IS PETEY SUCH A NORMAL THING IN MY HOUSEHOLD/positive sigh

OC🌸

OKK well they are ALMOST a wasteland but I have an original story to bring some ocs to life ^ ^ [including-sigh vague mention-the space dog lady and red haired lady ocs i have :3] ESSENTALLY: I’m calling it Brink of Bryony!! [Bryony is about a flower but in plot idk a city??] it’s just a human loser [red haired lady MAYBE] meeting alien folk [Cordella is there…i showed her ONCE] like my self insert hehe [Norolist] because OH NO beeg mister evil guy wants to take over Earth and this NICE alien people gonna protect it! That’s the entire thing, very unserious lmao. Pyrexavul is my precious <33 I don’t think I shared him?? I’ll share em all sometime hehe im too lazy LMAO. So yes yes I’ve been into making that story recently :> !!

ANYTHING🦐

OK SO my Luxury AU has been MANIFESTING MOI cuz i decided: why yes I WILL make a fic bout it!! Yknow just remaking the lore[cough this means me rewriting the first book of DogMan] and putting some stuff into one work ^ ^’ SO FAR I’m really getting into the vibes but what’s crazy is how I turned what I THOUGHT was oughta be a comedy-to a tragedy. No like I KNOW IM GONNA WRITE CUTE STUFF I WILL I JUST-….also might’ve included grief, addiction, ETC I dont even know how I got there 🙂‍↔️but it’s been fun! Especially since it makes me go down a nice study check with me lmao [I’ve been learning the medical field, laws, how media handles stuff, types of _, etc] hehe rubbing my hands together imma be so happy to write it all hehe and with that I’m learning about my characters a lot better! I thought of it more one noted because its a good start but now im actually learning more bout em :0 !! Love reworking stuff, redesigning, it’s been a huge part of me since idk when ^ ^’

COUGHHHH i think that all works out!! TYSM FOR ASKING I CANNOT EXPRESS THE WHIMSY I FEEL RN <33

[b0nkcentral]

Hihi!

Love your art!!

I was wondering if you had any scout head cannons you're comfortable with sharing? :3

YES of course!! and EEK thank you so much!! been trying to do art everyday, and i know ive got some requests (sorry other people for not doing them), but artblock is a bitch. do feel free to ask for some more headcanons on any of the mercs, or how theyd react in certaint situations!! writing is a biiiit easier for me! anyhow, here are some random scout hcs!!

He has crooked teeth! he also has buck teeth, but hes had kinda crooked teeth (not the worst) since being an early teen! mostly because of his wisdom teeth coming in.

Hes terrified of pyro. i know this is pretty much canon, but even the pyro on his own team. he has actively turned a corner, met pyro face to face, and screamed in terror.

He absolutely HATES wearing socks and shoes. scout is 100% a barefoot kinda guy. probably has to trim callouses on his feet from running around barefoot as a kid so much.

He probably hangs in engies workshop a lot! often makes fun of him and calls him an old fart, but its all out of love! he also definitely moves dells tools every once in awhile just to mess with him.

He has vocal stims! it doesnt happen much, because hes usually able to run off his excitement or excess energy, but every once in awhile youll just hear him mutter “bonk” or “wuhnananana”.

Unlike medic and engie, he absolutely hates storms. thunder scares him a bit and lightning terrifies him. he will refuse to go outside if theres a thunderstorm because hes fully convinced he’ll get struck by lightning.

He doesnt drink! sure he drinks his really shitty and probably corrosive energy drinks, but he isnt a big fan of alcohol! same with coffee. the taste just fucks with him and he overall just doesnt like the both of them.

anyhow, ive got a few more if you want em, but i dont wanna make this list too long!! hope this is alright!

[frownyalfred]

ok like. i have not Minded omegaverse for a long time so i had no real Objections to coralverse and have actually very much enjoyed it!! but aLSO. thanks? for acknowledging my Biggest Real RL hangup abt omegaverse (ie. The Bits.) in your latest chapters. its so small and so silly. but god i do love an acknowledgment of WHY, physically, one would not know what a person would present as (w/o invasive medical tests) Until Presentation. idk! i, A Trans, appreciate it idk. IDK. like i know irl that Bits dont mean a whole lot but it is Nice, for me, to have em acknowledged in fiction. idk! im still figuring it out but your fics make the brain go happy brrrr so thanks <3

You’re welcome! It’s one of those opportunities to really delve into the “science” behind the a/b/o universe and it’s been very interesting!

For example, the internal growth inside of Jason that was only visible on ultrasound, and only when he was weeks away from his presentation.

Since I chose to go with single sex omegas, sans anal sex or reproduction, this made the most sense. So a pup would really have no idea how they’d present until very close to their presentation, hence why Bruce could likely smell a hint of it in Jason’s scent — he was probably smelling those small biological changes his body was making ahead of his presentation heat.

[morp]

hello this is very random guy very random person never seen or been to this blog before. i would like to request a *checks notes* 🍌🍊🍇🍑🍎🍍🍌🍉🍈🍒 (there are two bananas in this ask game LMAOOO)

Hello very very random stranger i do not know. Your asks, as requested, behind a readmore because theres a lot. Enjoy, very random stranger

🍌Three headcanons about how magic works in your lore

Well i. Dont have too many magic headcanons im afraid. Uhhh

You can use too much of any given magic, and it can have disastrous effects on you or a whole Location

Magic residue! Is a thing! A particularly brutal elemental something can linger with a dragon for years or even their whole life. A super effective element will cause more pain and suffering and complications, obviously, and theoretically multiple elements together can leave their residues behind at once, which can make everything worse or better or both at the same time!

thats all i have, im sorry 😔

🍊A dragon you like based on looks

All of them. Obviously. But bear witness to the first project I ever had that I used a gem gene for, Morpho (she/her) <3

🍇A dragon you like based on personality

Observe my favorite doctor in my lore. Stuxnet (it/he/they), dragon turned not dragon after Forbidden Portal incident, it’s sketchy and generally unnerving and would probably murder you if you made too much eye contact but would also probably murder you if you made too LITTLE eye contact, kind of a “keep in your periphary vision” type beast. But hes also extremely trustworthy, you can trust him with your medical needs and they will deliver the best care they can give. A mostly well meaning little freak with only a touch of medical malpractice

🍑Show off an expensive regening project

Observe. Wildclaw gene and butterfly. Thank you notn 🙏 (they/them btw)

🍎Show off a Special-eyed dragon

Tyrion, my Necromancer (they/them). The skin clipping is unfortunate but works for them, the sword has eyes now

🍍Favorite (& second favorite, etc) Elemental Festival and your reasons why

Number one is PLAGUE!!! PLAGUE NUMERO UNO🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠🦠 I’m absolutely biased as a Germ myself but I Adore Riot of Rot, the apparel is almost always a banger and I always need 484847384 of em. I mean. Proto-wings anyone? Rotted mane???? Beloved

Second one uhhhh. Fire. Good orange stuff👍

🍌A dragon + their theme song

You get my Horizon Aspect lad, Lan (he/him), and this song :)

🍉Favorite dragon breed to draw

Snapper. Absolutely snapper. All the way snapper. Lmao

🍈A dragon you hate (/pos) based on personality/lore

DionaeaMuscipula (she/her). She did unhatched egg experiments in the Seedscar. How dare you do that. How dare you leave a perfectly good baby with trauma and some very bad Arcane and Nature residue and then fuck off to avoid the criminal repurcussions of this actual crime

🍒Show off a fodder rescue

Iota (they/them). Another Necromancer, I sniped em during a push and originally intended to exalt them. Then I got attached. I love them very much

[owomonsterwrites]

Blue team & dad!Johnson headcanons

I know it was @jackthunderboltyt who asked for this, BUT I cannot find the OG ask. im tagging you forgive me, m'lord I might make a little fic but I ran out of ideas sooo here you go!

Sergeant Johnson is blue teams' dad. No argument. Just saw these hyper-lethal teens and went "they're mine now

This is sad because I can't find any content about Johnson and his augmented murder hobo children”

Shhh dont mind the discrepancies, sam is alive and well nothing bad ever happened to him shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Johnson is more or less a glorified babysitter for some oversized murder children to others but to him, he's their dad 

He does act like a dad, maybe the “im gonna count to three and…” or the “ya dead? No? You're fine.” kind of dad. While handing them medical equipment or something 

Has been called dad. Likely by sam or john “dad- I mean sir!” johnson cherishes these moments. 

Calls them his family and kids ‘“yeah, the kids and I just got back from one hell of a mission.” 

Corny dad jokes. All the time. Kelly loves them. 

Has totally said shit like “that's my kid!” “that's my son/daughter!” or “you go get em kiddo!” he's so proud of them 

Brags to others about how cool his kids are “yeah.. Those are my kids, they're great ain't they?” and elbows the person then points at whichever kid it is

I think blue team began to view him as a father figure during tsilent storm or the battle of seoba 

Sam. sam, sam. Sweet boy. Baby boy. Sam and johnson have a back-and-forth commentary relationship, it's so fun. With sams enormous sense of humor, and johnsons loud-mouthed banter. great combo imo. 10/10. I hear johnson saying “I sure as hell didn't as for you two cents!” and sam quips back nonchalantly “good thing I've got more than two cents” 

Has walked into one of their rooms and said “are ya winning son?” or something and they look at him deeply confused 

Because of sams lack of care/trust for anyone outside the spartan program, it took him a much longer time to warm up or even care for johnson than his other siblings. Perhaps when he saw that john, kelly, Linda, and Fred trusted him he felt he could let his guard down some

I think that johnson hosts them small bday parties if they want it. They deserve it :)

Linda is like the weird emo child in the corner to johnson./j He loves her very much, even though she will appear out of nowhere and scare him half to death

Johnson has many many many family photos of them all together ( yes jack, you can include Miranda in this if you'd like to hc that Miranda is like their mother! Ik in ur au johnson and Miranda are dating so-)

Johnson  takes bets on which of the kids will win against kelly in a race or who would win in a sparring match against sam (Hint its none of them) johnson does it because he knows they like to compete with each other

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

HIIII!!!, can I have a Percy Jackson and a Demon slayer matchup plz

my name is Rex, ima just do bullet points cause they are easier for me and also gonna dm a pic of me cause im kinda shit at describing what I look like🧍🏽‍♀️

Age:17

Gender: Non-Binary

Pronouns: They/Them

Skin Color:carmel or like a neutral tan

hair: changes a lot, my natural hair is a curly mullet thats like faded blonde. But right now they are red Faux locs

Body type: I dont really know you to describe it but its like a chubby hourglass/thicc? I have hip dips on me though🧍🏽‍♀️And I have a large chest

Height: 5’4 short king🫡

Personality:

MBTI: ENFP

- I like to hang out with my friends a lot and can be very social at times, but then social battery runs out and im tapped out

- I take pictures of everything cause I just like having a bunch of memories

- Im always sleepy cause a I stay up super late, so sometimes i show up to school in PJS

- Im really into visual art. I want to be a fashion designer in the future, and I just like fashion in general

- Speaking of fashion I have a bajillion aesthetics, I can’t pick one to stick with so I try em all

- I can get pretty insecure sometimes about myself, but then 3 seconds later im like “Im the hottest bitch here” its very odd

- I have Anemia so i get nauseous and dizzy easy which sucks

- I also have ADHD so i can ether hyper focus, get hella distracted and space out, or get really overstimulated

- I can get fired up about issues or stuff I care about very easily, like its a bunch of bottle uped feelings spilling over

Thats kinda it for me🫡

Hi Rex! Thank you for your request! Sorry it took so long. I hope you like your matchups!

In Percy Jackson, I match you with...

Will is a lot like you in that he’s social while also having a social battery that runs out quickly. He’s good at hiding it but social situations wear him out easily.

Knows lots of tips and tricks for helping manage ADHD, both from a medical perspective and first-hand experience. He’s also really good at helping you with your anaemia.

Loves looking over your latest creative project. Whether it’s a fashion design or something more traditionally artsy, he likes seeing your creativity come to life.

Will also loves hanging out with you and an assortment of friends. He also loves making memories and being able to share them with those he cares about. Life as a demigod is dangerous and often short so he wants to make the most out of every day.

Please take lots of candid photos of him. He’s really photographic, even if he’s aware of the camera but when he’s oblivious, he seems almost ethereal.

In Demon Slayer, I match you with...

Much like Will, Tanjiro enjoys hanging out with you and his friends. He’s got a more resilient social battery than most but is happy to follow your lead and have a break when you need one.

Your personal cheerleader! Tanjiro loves everything about you (yes, even your mood swings) and will tell you how much he cares about you. It’s hard to feel insecure when someone’s constantly hyping you up.

Thinks your tendency to hyper focus and then get easily distracted is endearing. If you’re focusing on something for too long, Tanjiro will make sure you take a break and have a drink and something to eat.

Really soothing when you get overstimulated. He’ll move you away from whatever has caused your overstimulation and sit with you until you’re feeling better.

He’s got a relaxing presence that isn’t overbearing. Sometimes when he’s sitting with you, it feels like there’s no one there. But be rest assured, Tanjiro’s there if and when you need him.

[claggorstuff]

(male because i don't see any male readers on your page so far)

claggor x male!reader but Claggor is sick and feeling insecure and reader is taking care of him, making sure he knows how important he is

Oh my god i didnt even see this but ill most def do it !

Claggors taken care of by male s/o as hes sick !

Claggor x male reader

Fluff

I walked into the last drop expecting it to be busy as ever, and well, it was, but vander seemed to be rushing and scampering around nervously, so I of course went up to him expecting a soft smile to greet me, instead he sighed and shook his head

"Hey kid, I know yer excited to see claggor but hes real sick.. and im too busy takin care of him and runnin the bar for a quick chat. You best run along before ya catch what he got.."

"What?! Whats he got?! He isnt too sick is he?"

"No no, there aint no doctors needed but lets just say we've had to empty a few buckets.."

"Well I dont care HOW SICK I GET. Im gonna go help him!"

"Uh- you sure kid..? He really aint well.."

"Thats all the more reason to help."

I flew down the stairs to see claggor, and as expected he was in his bed pale and weak, I hastily stumbled over and he opened his eyes, red from tears, my love was probably in unimaginable pain.

"Agh damn.. I really didnt want you to see me like this.."

"Claggor. Youre sick, you need help.. and youre no weaker than anyone else in this state babe."

"Yeah yeah.. I just- I just dont want you to see me weak at all." He shielded himself with his arm, nervously

"Youre not weak. Not to me."

I felt his forehead and went to the sink they used for washing out the cups used at the bar, grabbing a dish cloth and soaking it in cold water, and going back to him pressing it on his forehead

"Hey.. you don't gotta do this now Im fine.."

"Fine? You have a HURL BUCKET! and youre barely able to sit up.. I think you need lots of care."

"Well youve always wanted to help.. but- seriously, youre gonna get sick."

"Dont care, youre the important one right now.."

"Important? Im hardly even sick.." He mumbled, coughing up phlegm, I frowned and kissed his cheek, he smiled a little with a warm redness spreading across his face, I ran my fingers through his hair and he just melted into my touch.. it was heaven for him and anyone could tell, this look, soft, melted, warm, it wiped the sad look right off my face, I saw mylo cooking some soup and sighed, thankfully someone was handling his food and that left me the time to get his spirits up, I grabbed some antibiotics I stole from some pharmaceutical type guy, looking through it to see any flu meds, cough meds, only finding something to help with his nausea, I got a shot glass and filled it up with water, handing the medication to him and watching him stare at it drousily

"Really I dont need this.. if you get sick we need to save the meds for you I'm serious."

"Claggor for the love of god youre sick right now! Take the damn meds. Youre too important to stay sick another day."

"Oh come on.."

"No truly. Youre the main helper for the bar here. And around the undercity as a whole."

"Look I dunno I just.. how much did these cost ya?"

"Stole em." And with those words he downed the ones he needed, one thing about him is he knows to make use of the things we steal, if they just lay around we eventually get caught. I still had plenty left over which made him smile, he was finally happy as he could be in his state. I gently kissed his forehead again and as mylo finished the cooking I nodded in glee serving up the warm liquid to claggor, feeding him with a smile, he just chuckled at my face and rubbed my hand, hopefully he'll get over this sick soon..

[some-pers0n]

Two things.

Number one, I'm here from your science party fic and oh my GOD? I adore how you wrote all of the mercs, especially Medic! He's a wonderful balance of silly, scary, and just...Generally unhinged. Wonderful. Amazing. Mwah. Thank you sm for feeding my science party brain.

Number two. I saw your ship post about them and the option to ask abt others. Taking you up on that,,,, what're the other tf2 ships you enjoy? Infodumping can get draining so dont sweat it if you dont want yk: I'm just curious!

!! Thank you so much!! I love writing all of the mercs so much,, and with Medic I put 110% of my effort and energy into  making him the manic and eccentric maniac that I know and love. What a little goofball. Same with the others. They're all so much fun to write with their wacky personalities and such. I'm glad I was able to give something to the other Science Party fans and make more propaganda for the ship. <3

Now for the ships. I've got a lot of neutral opinion, but I'll just ramble about some that I like quite a bit in particular, namely Red Oktoberfest, Sniper/Spy, Speeding Bullet, Napoleon Complex, Boots N' Bombs, etc. They're not going to be nearly as in-depth as with my Science Party ramble, but I just like em'.

Now, onto the others. I really like Red Oktoberfest. It's like Science Party, though I wouldn't say Heavy is nearly as unhinged as Engie. It's sweet and nice, but I prefer Science Party over it just because I prefer Medic and Engie's dynamic. Still really nice. I also love reading that one 13k word essay on Ao3 that goes into detail on all of the content on it every now and then.

Speeding Bullet is another one I like. I like the two of them just being together and goofing around. They truly are the ADHD vs Autism ship. I do like Sniper's more collected attitude and Scout's rambunctious behavior and the two of them butting heads. The ship also reminds me of how Sniper is only four years older than Scout, which is wild to me. I always think of him in his late thirties as opposed to being like...26 when he first meets the team.

In a similar vein, I like Sniper/Spy. I can see the two of them bickering with each other because of the other's lifestyle (Sniper throws jars at people and lives in a van while Spy is French), but overall having some sort of respect for each other because of their professionalism. They do care about each other, even if they don't like saying it.

Boots N' Bombs is a classic. I love how Valve just created an entire update and so much content for these two. They work really quite well together. It's amazing how well their personalities compliment each other and there's plenty of room for both humor and angst. They're really just neat.

Napoleon Complex is just neat. I like it. I find their personalities clash, but really match on another. Engie's laid-back and hardworking salt-of-the-earth nature and Spy's more up-tight and professional vibe is just nice.

Again, most of these I see as being platonic. I do like considering and watching others portray them as romantic, but I overall see them all as close friends. I've got a lot of writing ideas on all of those ships though.

Pyro I don't really ship with anybody mostly because I see them as That Guy. Not exactly a little sibling or somebody who can't feel love or show emotion, but I can't really...see them as ever being involved with anybody romantically. I am an unlabeled any-pronouns single Pyro fan. They just wanna be friends and have a tea party with the whole team.

But, now I suppose is the time where I let the two ships that've spawned from the depths of my psyche out onto the world. I should mention that I'm a delusional fanfic writer, meaning I that when I see a character, my first thought would be how they would react to another character. This is how you get rarepairs, folks.

With that being said, I like Merasmus & Medic and Pauling/Bronislava.

I'm not going to elaborate further.

[mushibashiraas]

🛒 I JUSR REALIZED HOW AWFUL AND ROBOTIC I SOUNDFJDJDJ LIKE. i come back after posting the ruggie fic and redoing my theme only to drop a to do list and dip againdjsjdjs ah. uh.

so life update ig? eh. i can talk more about my chronic migraines too since the life update is mainly about themfjdjdj oops. BUCKLE TF UP BC THIS'LL BE LONG (still dont know how to add the "more under the cut" thing on mobile tumblr. too lazy to get out my laptop)

this whole week has been insane! context: my migraines are triggered by bright light, loud sounds, motion-sickness-games (i.e. genshin, Identity V, etc.), weather pressure changes, rainy days/nights, storms, and dramatic temperature fluctuations..... but mainly the last four.

anyway. this week had the first and the second triggers. (and towards the end of this week is supposed to have the last trigger. yay!) one of the things that happens (IF i push myself to power through and "stay conscious" — more on that in a bit) is that i faint. like. not "faint for a couple minutes." nahhhh! i go out for like 10-40 minutes; normally the max is 20. but occasionally, a 40 minute episode'll occur and those are the scary ones.

on tuesday, i had a doctor appointment with my cardiologist pertaining to said migraines and fainting. while waiting to check in, i passed out and fell (i was standing at the time). and the staff and nurses were worried i hit my head so they called for an ambulance to drive me across the street to the hospital ER. i was there all afternoon and almost all night. i finally went home at 11pm. i'll spare yall of the more personal details (what tests were done, the overall experience, etc). all i'll say is that there's a reason why i hate hospitals and needles.

but the visit was long and tedious and terrifying and painful. i cried several times, as well as fainted a few more times between when i came to just as the paramedics arrived and a little after the technicians performed EKGs, etc. [like they usually do whenever someone is first admitted to the ER]. those fainting episodes were only a few minutes tho. not long at all. don't worry!

*sighs* anyway. that visit defined my entire week tho bc i ended up missing a day of work on thursday and a korean language class on wednesday. still felt the usual symptoms (most likely the aftermath) like dizziness, nausea, a heavy, sluggish feeling, soreness/headaches, loss of eyesight, etc.

hope this explanation helps??? i'll get back to writing and gaming soon. aaaaa i have a guaranteed yelan to get ready for anyway. heehee

EDIT: i forgot to add that yall shouldnt worry too much! sorry if i scared yall! these migraines and fainting episodes aren't manageable yet. even tho i can go to work sometimes, i cant drive, take horseback riding lessons (i used to take them), and go to/continue college,,,, i've had them since 2013?? 2014?? and am on medication for them as well as going to a neurologist and cardiologist who are both monitoring my condition and trying to help me and get them manageable so i can do all the aforementioned things i said i can't do.

also, it's not as uncommon as i seem to make it to be. several celebrities (look up Ben Affleck migraines) have chronic migraines, as well as several families/people/co-workers also have or have dealt with chronic migraines and passing out due to them. my own mom and older brother — altho they aren't biologically related to me — also have bad/chronic migraines. my family actually make jokes about my migraines and say i'm a walking barometer lol if anyone lives in the northeastern U.S. text me and check if a storm is coming. lol i can most likely tell you; if i migraine than yes. if i don't than no. lol /j but all jokes aside,,, again. don't worry too much for me. ok? i'm still functioning even if it's at low-HP/hu tao levels (a little genshin/gamer joke/comparison for yall). i'm still shino/em, someone who is so in love with jamil and xiao and rindou that they'll devote all their time and resources to taking care of them. heehee! ❤️❤️

[pwblogarchive]

June 2007

June 4, 2007

goodbye the longest year of my life.

sometimes i want to blow my head but not in a hottopic kind of way.

i am global warming.

i am toxic.

sometimes i am glad i saved everything for a rainy day.

i am a wish.

i am under your skin.

i love you and life:

separate but never equal.

fuck it.

its all okay.

"Too young to hold on and too old to just break free and run..."

posted by xo at 8:05 PM

June 6, 2007

“its easy to get older not so much wiser”

"pooh"

"yes, piglet"

"nothing, i just wanted to be sure of you"...

posted by xo at 8:40 AM

June 7, 2007

“fuck the palm readers, i love mirror breakers.”

i have an obsession with sitting inside a confessional in church and hearing someone else spill their guts for once.

id almost take an oath for it.

get me out of new york.

this city only gets me up to making bad decisions.

love, the last boy.

posted by xo at 10:40 PM

"the christian in christian dior, damn they dont make them like they used to anymore..."

if i bashed your head in how good would the secrets be that poured out.

posted by xo at 4:00 PM

June 9, 2007

“late night snack”

the light splashes in and out. its almost violent. everything rational inside of me tells me that its the dull white of a voicemail. but my eyes are playing tricks on me. i see it purple textured velvet. the tv is blaring whatever. i can see light is sneaking in the cracks everywhere of this suite. like vermin. take a vote, the eyes have it. there is too much space here. between me and everything else in this room. i wish i had a habit bad or not just to pass the time. just trying to fight the big black sadness.

June 9, 2007

“sic transit itum”

Theres an opposite to deja vu. They call it jamais vu. Its when you meet the same people or visit places, again and again, but each time is the first time. Everybody is s stranger. Nothing is ever familiar.

This isn't learning from my mistakes anymore so much as it is damage control. I might as well be trying to paint a house that's on fire.

Posted by xoat 11:33 PM

June 11, 2007

“counting sheep and you.”

tour life has got my fingers spitting from a pornographed philosophers mind. girls with bruises in designer patterns. too full off the diet pills to be hungry for iceburg lettuce and water lite when it shows up. i trapped you in my head a long time ago. i am a treasure chest filled with trash. two orders: one near tears and one beer tears. just put em on my tab.

dont you dare tell me about true fucking love. i spit and punched and blood for it. and now i want to sleep inside of it.

June 12, 2007

“cantsleepcantsleepcantsleep”

dont you feel bad for the suicidal cat thats stuck with 9 lives.

my head only goes from zero to rage.

like a domesticated animal giving into instinct.

carved our names into a tree

and i dont care that i saw it first in some movie.

i think ill always go back and see if it sticks.

i feel like the santa maria. like i got there just after the discovery.

heads like this are gonna go extinct.

posted by xo at 5:53 AM

June 14, 2007

“lullabye.”

everybody is dropping like flies.

the truth is i am a slave to my head and my thoughts, not the other way around.

i am the hand up the skirt of this moment. over underwear, under pants.

under medicated. underwhelmed.

me and you in a not so private corner.

duke it out with our lips and teeth.

ill find the love if its there between your cavities.

dust it off.

its a cold hard ride back from where ive been.

what ive seen.

and what ive done.

or how ive come undone.

apples that make your teeth bleed

love that makes my heart coma-

keep careful count of your tears in that corner-

the market is shit.

they arent going for what they used to.

keep em in a jar-

bury them in a wine cellar.

so you can remember when you felt like just a madman.

im a trust junkie.

i need a fix.

i have so much i want to say. none of it is eloquent or poetic- referencing change and belief- lies and betrayal. how sometimes this ride doesnt feel fun anymore, when the press is controlling it. i will post when i have formulated all of the thoughts. i am tired of constantly defending this, its enough to defend it to the world- but to defend it to believers has drained me. i am only human, a kind of lousy one at that. i am 1/4 of this thing that has felt magical to me for so long. i dont want to lose it. i hope this makes some sense.

i hope i am a boomerang on its way back not some stone sinking in the sea.

thank you to everyone who has stood beside this and me- in both the light and the dark. it means more than a handshake or hug or song,,,

on a good note. the video felt genuinely fun to make. so thank you for taking part in it. the smiles are real.

goodnight.

posted by xo at 11:49 PM

June 17, 2007

“i may be just a dime store prophet. but youre a dollar store whore.”

so i guess i am on the up. thunder on runways cant even kill the boredom. the tips of my fingers bruised from the letters on the typewriter. but if feels so much more final than this. and that is why i love it. and i said the last time i was put in handcuffs it was over a can of spraypaint. she said 'someday i want to spraypaint with you". and that is why i love her. in a backyard, lying on the couch on a sunday kind of way. one that is not explained or thought out. but runs up the back of your legs to the back of your head and crashes out of my mouth whenever you show up. what keeps your head together when you feel the tilt and spin of the world. what keeps those club jaws grinding in between the trips to the bathroom. the best week never. theyre taking stabs at me while im leaning and yawning, but sometimes YOU get through. pinpricks become blackholes and i feel my moods pulled into them. whats up with my obsession with your obsessions. been writing so much lately the paper is starting to add up. theres a part of me that wants to take a match to it sometimes late at night- the same part inside that cant walk next to balconies for fear that i am going to jump off of them.

i can make a mess of anything. but its strange to say when a stranger can bring you peace. you just swaying in the heat of the meet and greet. a face and a voice i dont know. just a tap on the shoulder and a "keep your chin up" from you. but there was a kindness there that brought me back. thank you.

June 19, 2007

so obvious but: i fucking hate this sugar free low carb diet world. i want the wild fucking west. i want love in handcuffs. i want more scars. i dont want this fucking future. meth bake sales to lower global warming. sweat shop work to burn calories. i hope this ship burns before it sinks. i hope this planes air goes bad before it crashes. i dont want this to be an affair anymore, i want to walk down the aisle with catastrophe. lets go to hell just for the weekend. your happiness is making me miserable. waste the time of my life. and if that mocking bird wont sing, im gonna buy you a diamond ring.

i only feel in love on the stage and on the side of a pillow. everything in between just makes me wish myself to pieces. please dont put me back together, keep me in a box under your bed.

June 20, 2007

i hate explaining my own interpretations to people. id rather you come up with your own- but this one seems to be pretty glaring....

there is a distinct difference between the idea "seasons change, but people dont" and the idea "everyone changes". this difference is simply the connotations of the two. in the former: the idea is brought forth that there are certain parts of you that are inherently there. forever. whether they are a part of your DNA or how you were raised- they are so deep and solidly rooted they cannot change. to me these are your ideals, your morality, your internal monologue. they remain constant though are defined differently as your mind and heart mature. to simplify, people who are kind have something switched on within them that will not change. on the other extreme malicious people will always be malicious. not to say there isnt gray area between the two- where someone who is kind can act maliciously and vice versa. obviously there are more rare examples where something can impact someone in such a tremendous way that it will cause a deep change in them. these remain constant through celebrity, through tragedy, through happiness, through loss. i can feel certain things in myself and ways that i know i will always feel- no matter what else changes around me. if you read my actual diary entries from when i was 14 to now, while the language and subject matter has changed- and hopefully has gotten a bit better. my subconscious impacting me and my decisions seems to remain faithful. however, what was meant by the latter "everyone changes, i used to be tiny", is the idea of growing up. honestly, i am not who i was a year ago or 5 years ago or 10 years ago. i think i would hate myself if i never changed. this is an experiment more than anything. if new cultures, people, and art didnt impact me and change me than this would be fraudulent. we expect any of our fans who have been with us from the beginning have grown and changed. i hope most of these changes are for the better, though i know i am human and make mistakes. sometimes i turn right when i should have turned left. but anything you loved or hated about me from the beginning have not changed- these are the things that make us each different from each other and either magnetize or polarize from others.

June 22, 2007

“the AMERICAN dayDREAMer - die-a-tribe”

when they rip the tickets i hope im on the ride with you. sleepless in seattle and pretty much everywhere else- wont bore you with the details, but actually i probably will. you dont have to be a train to come off track. dont have to have feathers to flee the coop. i dont gotta tell you about my adventures, i keep them in my head and forget them and remember them every once in awhile. i watch them on projector screens while you are talking about your magazine or countdown. were flypaper baby- but nothings sticks. molded from teflon and porcelain. doesnt take much shining around for you to want to get back under that rock you crawled out from. i found a point when i was searching for pointlessness. i found a love when i was looking for madness. gonna save your sweat for when we get to heaven. autocratic hearts and throats- tongues loving on the skin and words- listening too carefully and robbing them of their beauty. you only think im blooming when im wilting on the outside. dying to be dearly forgotten, not wrongly remembered. florescent yellow in the toilet bowl. i love holding strangers hands, pulses matching, beating just off the p.a. speakers. you dont have to sell me on how this isnt real, cause my guts are whats in deep not my head or my heart. sometimes i get the feeling when i walk into a room like im in some movie from the forties where ive been shipwrecked and marooned on a desert island, only to return to a life that is no longer mine. or maybe just a raft adrift, except i slept through the s.o.s. calls. the caveman frozen in ice analogy works as well, only i am too lazy to transcribe it. im projecting. im bobbing and weaving. im deflecting. only cos i want to mean more than all of this. i lost it at woodrow and nichols, brakes ground to my teeth. just a kid strung out on neon lights

June 26, 2007

dear man in the mirror: get over yourself.

i love it when people wonder how its gonna end.

my right hand is fucked.

boxers fracture im pretty sure and a cut down the front that we super glue every night.

if i shake you yr hand with my left thats why.

im clumsy-

with both actions and words.

what happens in vegas stay in vegas except for when brendon hit me with a bowling ball.

deaths just the other bookend on this thing, so who cares.

posted by xo at 12:28 AM

June 28, 2007

The world is your oyster, what does that mean? That I'm just grinding sand waiting to be sucked down by box dye blondes and chased with hynotik. .... dumb-luck, but there's no such thing as smart luck. Think It got us kicked out of vegas. Happy as a clam but how happy can clams be? Dreaming of being steamed or robbed of their only worldly possession, pearls, sounds like a total soccer mom fantasy- only with upscale spas and mugger fantasies. I am a starfish waiting to regenerate a point. Till then, I am kind of pointless. I got a bad rap for not caring but I still pay taxes and wear my seat-belt in back seats- though I'm considering changes. I am a fixer-upper. Feeling the buzz but too far off the hive for any of the other bees to get it. And man I gotta tell you, the years are like friends in your old hometown. They stop being so friendly. They only want to reminisce. And no matter what they keep moving and changing you whether you want them to or not. The doctor says I need to stop talking with my fist and do more talking with my mouth. I told him I was never too great at that either- that it was usually my mouths talking that had to get my fist involved in the conversation. He said well then I had better start throwing a good left or hope I can play bass one handed. Neither seems too reasonable right now. Thinking maybe I should just stop all together. I order every movie in hotel rooms just so I don't feel alone. Its a very home alone moment for me, you know without the holiday music and cute culkin looks, but I'm hoping you are catching my drift anyway. Yes, for those who wonder there are other journals online. Sometimes I kind of leave bread-crumbs to get home to them for you. Sometimes I just space out. I also have a pen and paper diary and some letters and what not that I have been typing on my typewriter. I've been working on other visual art too, nothing I like well enough to show anyone. Its more for my own piece of mind. Drive, fuck, and sleep safe. I'd like to know that you awaken in the morning with out a headache or blurry eyes. Love is in the air, just get ourselves the right equipment to grab it. Its like moths headed for the brightest light, which aint me. But I'm ready to sweat and run and get there. And just cause you got a scar on your wrist or a charcoal stomach, were supposed to get eachother? Cause I don't really even get me. I'm too busy calling everyone else crazy- in these late slurred debates on how everyone else is not exactly like us- to worry about you calling me crazy. Tho all the other rhymes for crazy work on me lazy, hazy, etc.

someone has some great pictures of this past week. if i find any, ill post some.

June 28, 2007

from pete's friends or enemies blog

June 28, 2007

“the pretend”

i never really appreciate the compliments people give me. i feel like people say them because they feel like they have to- "youre hot"- except in my head i dont see myself that way so it doesnt mean a thing. "you played great tonight"- except i probably didnt because its not really my thing. "i love your words"- except they only make sense to me out of patricks mouth. "i love you"- but you wouldnt if you knew me. and so on.

but the other day my friend told me: "you have an incredible sense of the pretend". and it made me shake. just in the way that its all i believe. i dont care too much for the ins and outs of the world we are inside. i like the one in my head far better. it is not chronological or pragmatic. but it meant alot to me.

as did this...

so i cant fully remember writing this entry. that is because my brain is scattered and resets all of the time. the only thing i save room for are faces and memories. maybe it is a collection of entries. but apparantly someone cared enough to remember or patch together an entry from a year ago... so thank you (i think they made little changes or additions here and there). its funny because i am in vancouver all over again, it rings so much more true now.

"and like florence nightingale and nurses through history. we fall in love with those were protecting and curing. we dream big and then wake up everyday and hunch over computer screens. and everytime we let our fingers go it amounts to a little more than the worlds smallest violin paying just for you. here i am half asleep between vancouver and salt lake city. can't remember the last time i had a conversation with you that wasn't from between the dotted lines of the highway. i don't want sheep or parrots. i feel like we have a vested interest in each other. it's love of sorts. you were there in the beginning, you've stuck around when everyone else climbed aboard, i hope you're there when it's gone. for all the times we've come off course, you have always served as a compass. steady. unforgiving. at times hard to find. but you were always there. this probablly isn't worth your time to read. but as long as you do we'll keep playing small, secret shows. we'll keep writing this. we'll keep ignoring what they say. this is we- everyone- the haters, the newbies, the so, the ckk, ock. a collective [[sigh of relief]]. everyone always asks what's the cure of growing up? this is it. it's you. the smiling faces screaming and 'doging' security in the front row. the kid that waits outside after the show until their hands are blue just to say hi. don't ever let me fucking forget it. we don't deserve this. but now that we got it. we will do our best to keep it like a kiss in the corner of our mouths. for our heads to your speakers, to your ears, to your mouths, to you, your fingers, to us, to our mistakes, to our heads and back. the new songs are coming. what if for one moment we became everyone we dreamed we could be? there is a buzzing from outside of this darkened room. as though if i walked down the hallway past their sleeping faces, red in the warmth of the afternoon. i would walk into the first day of my life. light gleaming off the windshield- like the wizard of oz after the color washes over everything. like i could start all over again- only with the same faces that are imprinted on my heart forever. and my same bed. and dogs. and ex- loves. and friends. save your troubles for another day, they wern't at the end of the hallway. baby boy, you're too busy writing tragedy to notice. we're shaping up to do big things. and you're nothing special. except.. what if you are? "

posted by xo at 8:01 PM

June 29, 2007

i never really appreciate the compliments people give me. i feel like people say them because they feel like they have to- "youre hot"- except in my head i dont see myself that way so it doesnt mean a thing. "you played great tonight"- except i probably didnt because its not really my thing. "i love your words"- except they only make sense to me out of patricks mouth. "i love you"- but you wouldnt if you knew me. and so on.

but the other day my friend told me: "you have an incredible sense of the pretend". and it made me shake. just in the way that its all i believe. i dont care too much for the ins and outs of the world we are inside. i like the one in my head far better. it is not chronological or pragmatic. but it meant alot to me.

as did this...

so i cant fully remember writing this entry. that is because my brain is scattered and resets all of the time. the only thing i save room for are faces and memories. maybe it is a collection of entries. but apparantly someone cared enough to remember or patch together an entry from a year ago... so thank you (i think they made little changes or additions here and there). its funny because i am in vancouver all over again, it rings so much more true now.

"and like florence nightingale and nurses through history. we fall in love with those were protecting and curing. we dream big and then wake up everyday and hunch over computer screens. and everytime we let our fingers go it amounts to a little more than the worlds smallest violin paying just for you. here i am half asleep between vancouver and salt lake city. can't remember the last time i had a conversation with you that wasn't from between the dotted lines of the highway. i don't want sheep or parrots. i feel like we have a vested interest in each other. it's love of sorts. you were there in the beginning, you've stuck around when everyone else climbed aboard, i hope you're there when it's gone. for all the times we've come off course, you have always served as a compass. steady. unforgiving. at times hard to find. but you were always there. this probablly isn't worth your time to read. but as long as you do we'll keep playing small, secret shows. we'll keep writing this. we'll keep ignoring what they say. this is we- everyone- the haters, the newbies, the so, the ckk, ock. a collective [[sigh of relief]]. everyone always asks what's the cure of growing up? this is it. it's you. the smiling faces screaming and 'doging' security in the front row. the kid that waits outside after the show until their hands are blue just to say hi. don't ever let me fucking forget it. we don't deserve this. but now that we got it. we will do our best to keep it like a kiss in the corner of our mouths. for our heads to your speakers, to your ears, to your mouths, to you, your fingers, to us, to our mistakes, to our heads and back. the new songs are coming. what if for one moment we became everyone we dreamed we could be? there is a buzzing from outside of this darkened room. as though if i walked down the hallway past their sleeping faces, red in the warmth of the afternoon. i would walk into the first day of my life. light gleaming off the windshield- like the wizard of oz after the color washes over everything. like i could start all over again- only with the same faces that are imprinted on my heart forever. and my same bed. and dogs. and ex- loves. and friends. save your troubles for another day, they wern't at the end of the hallway. baby boy, you're too busy writing tragedy to notice. we're shaping up to do big things. and you're nothing special. except.. what if you are? “

June 30, 2007

I have a new girlfriend

The iphone.

posted by xo at 4:46 PM

[spyderslut]

im barely holding it together

Ive by the skin of my teeth scraped together rent for the month, and put 200$ towards next month. Itll be a tight squeeze but Im probably not gonna be homeless. I have several large bags of lentils and wheatflour and oats that ive saved for just such an occasion. It wont be fun, but I wont starve.

But i havent been able to buy medication for close to a month now. Ive got my last couple estrogen patches on me and im gonna just be leaving em on there to try and get somthing outa them. My anti anxiety/antidepressant medication was really nice, meant I didnt just shut down nearly as easily, meant it was much easier to find the will to get outa bed and out of the house, meant I didnt think about wanting to die. But now ive gotta walk on eggshells, around myself. It is so fucking exhausting to be constantly careful/on the lookout for anything that could send you into a badthoughts (tm) spiral. But, ive managed to not do that. Ive not gotten out of the house as much and ive felt consistently worse just about every moment of every day, but no badthoughts (tm) But for how much longer? Many of the things I hold onto as anchor points arent unlimited. Once my last two estrogen patches start itching too much ill probably boil them in water and then drink it to try and get the last bits out, but eh? Maybe ill get some money for my birthday thats coming in the next week. It might even be enough to pay for another month of rent, probably at least for another months hrt/medication. But after that? I dont know. If I like to help people but am unwilling to accept charity myself, then that basically me saying that im better than everyone I want to help, and I am very much not.

I have both a Kofi and a fansly. If you would like to see somthing nsfw and give me money, then go to the fansly. If you would rather not see somthing nsfw, then go to my kofi.