#for herself but she feels it for shauna too

[shaunamilfman]

Shauna Shipman NSFW Alphabet

pairing: Shauna Shipman x f!r note: minors dni

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

your ass isn’t going anywhere. she’s picked the position she wants to lie in, and you will be there until she decides you're done. she can be very sweet and caring, but she’s not great at the emotional part of it (anything to do with actually communicating her feelings), so she just grabs on for a while and hopes it suffices. holds you tight, runs her fingers through your hair, traces shapes on your back, the works. won’t talk unless pressed most of the time.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

her thighs. she used to resent how toned they were from all of those years she was forced to play soccer–just another thing she could grumble about underneath her breath when she was mad at Jackie–but she’s grown to love them. loves the way she can use them to wrap around your hips and keep you where she wants you, whether that’s in bed or just cuddling; it doesn’t matter. Shauna also loves the way your head looks between her thighs and the way they squeeze around you.

She likes your hands, always has. Shuana enjoys how capable they are. likes to watch the way your fingers wrap around handles or tap absently against things when you’re bored. of course, she likes them the most between her legs.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

she loves when you’re messy, especially when you’re covered in her. sometimes she grabs a fistful of your hair just so she can better rub herself over your face. she’s not even trying to get herself off. you’re just too clean. shauna loves when you pop your head up after eating her out just so she can smear herself all over your face better. dragging her thumb along your lips so all you can do is taste her. she likes to make you sit there, just dripping with her as she recovers. she worked hard to get you so messy. she’s going to enjoy it.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

I don’t think Shauna Shipman is familiar with the concept of shame when it comes to things that get her off unless it involves Jackie. 

she has far too many thoughts about threesomes and refuses to acknowledge any of them. thinking about them means considering the implications of what having the two of you mouthing at her skin is, and Shauna Shipman is not about to do that.

if there was anything other than that, it would just be so ridiculously violent that she knew she couldn’t actually do it without serious injury, but she usually just finds a way to modify it before she springs it on you.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

slept with Jeff so she’s not completely inexperienced, but it’s not like she knows much about women. she’s very well versed in getting herself off and figures it can’t be all that different. pretends to know a lot more than she does and would not react well if you mentioned that fact.

knows what she wants and gets it. she texts you for a hookup, and you say you’re busy? shauna shipman has sent three attachments. all of which are enticing enough to get you into the car. it’s overkill, truly. one would’ve been enough, but she’s thorough.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Shauna likes to ride. your face, your fingers. it doesn’t matter. Shauna wants to be on top.

she loves to sit on your face. there’s just something about being able to look down at your face buried between her thighs as she fucks your face that gets her going like nothing else, especially with how prone and vulnerable you look beneath her. you can’t pin her hips down as easily as you can when she’s on her back, and she enjoys knowing she’s the only one that gets to decide when you get air.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

shauna’s not that goofy in general, but especially during sex. sometimes you may catch a smile or two and an occasional laugh during slow, early morning sex, but that’s few and far between. she has a goal in mind, and any laughter makes her feel like you’re not taking her seriously.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

shaves her legs fairly often just to keep Jackie off her back. everywhere else just gets shaved when she remembers to. 

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

romance doesn’t always have as much of a place in sex for Shauna as other emotions do (jealousy, anger, possession). it’s not to say that she’s not romantic in the moment. in fact, it’s some of the only times she properly communicates, babbling confessions about anything and everything in the bluntest way possible as her nails scratch down your skin.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

constantly. all the time. shauna’s cunt hates to see her hand coming. doesn’t like to take her time like she might’ve if you were the one stimulating her. masturbating is only ever to soothe an itch for Shauna, quick and dirty until her thighs clamp around her hand and she can go back to her business. washes off and goes back to whatever she was doing like nothing happened.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

so possessive. she won’t admit it, but as angry and jealous as she gets when she sees someone come up to you, she also gets turned on. she already knows how the night’s going to end, your head between her thighs in the cramped quarters of her back seat as you struggle to get a hand between her legs to get your fingers inside.

wants to bring a knife into it. she thinks a lot about holding a knife to your throat as she makes you do whatever she wants. has a recurring fantasy of making you back up into the wall and plead with her not to kill you. it always ends with her pressing it against the delicate skin of your neck and slowly making you slide down to your knees.

likes to bite, which is obvious. if she’s close enough to sink her teeth in, she will. bites you hard enough that you bleed a few times, and though it was honestly an accident, she can’t deny how much it turned her on to watch.

it goes without saying, but she wants to chase you down and catch you.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

any place but a bed, for the novelty but also for the risk. fantasizes about someone walking in on the two of you and seeing that you're hers. those fantasies always involve you on your knees, her thighs pressed so tightly to your ears that you don’t even notice anyone else coming into the room because you’re so focused on getting her off. she doesn’t like to acknowledge the fact that it’s usually Jackie who walks in.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

jealousy, anger, obsession (either way), and attention. she thrives on intensity, on knowing you want her just as much as she wants you. needs you to match her freak. fighting is nothing but foreplay, angry words spit in your direction that she wants you to take out on her.

the better question is what doesn’t get her going.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

as much as she somewhat enjoys her jealousy, you can’t ever bring up someone else while you’re hooking up. she does, often referencing whatever girl stood too close to you and pissed her off, but you can’t ever or she’s done. she also doesn’t like to be made to feel lesser than you for any reason.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

shauna definitely has a preference to receive rather than give when it comes to oral. she likes to watch you between her thighs, brushing your hair out of the way so she can really see your mouth work. there’s something about the way you’re entirely focused on her when you’re going down on her that nothing else can match. the way you can’t really look at her, can’t talk to her, can’t do anything but make her come.

she can give. she’s good at it even. shauna would prefer to use her fingers, just because of how much she likes to watch. she needs to be able to use her mouth to leave little marks everywhere to stake her claim. what she doesn’t want is to see you try to cover them up the next day. that’s just not allowed.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

fast and rough 90% of the time. she’s always got something to prove (mostly to herself). she’s got you on your knees in the backseat of her car before you’ve even realized that she wasn’t taking you home first.

she indulges in slow, loving sex when the mood strikes her, but that’s nothing she would really enjoy all the time.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

shauna shipman invented quickies. wants you anywhere and everywhere she can have you. she gets turned on at the drop of a hat and isn’t shy about telling you about it. 

she does enjoy getting to take her time with you, though. likes to grind against your thigh and enjoy your wandering hands as you make out until she’s so worked up she’s desperate for it.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

goes without saying. half of the time she barely thinks things through before she’s going for them. that’s just who she is, and she’s not planning on changing.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

doesn’t last long. she’s so easy. she can go forever and ever, though. loves to be overstimulated. she’ll have tears running down her face and still want more.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

shauna shipman’s vibrator is her best friend. they know each other intimately. when it finally dies on her and she has to buy a new one, she briefly considers holding it a funeral before deciding that would be dumb as shit. threatens to replace you with the vibrator whenever you’re teasing her.

she doesn’t have all that much experience with other toys, but she’s definitely not averse to using them. likely to bring up the idea first if she thinks you’ll be at all amenable.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

shauna’s not that big into teasing just because she’s too impatient to really commit to it. she’s only teasing herself when she’s teasing you. does enjoy watching you squirm a little, though.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

she’s not that loud. more of a gasps and sighs kind of girl, but has been known to get loud if the vibes are right. if you turn her down for sex for reasons she doesn’t consider “valid” (busy or engaging in a hobby), trust that she’ll be shouting her pleasure from the rooftops when she stalks off into the room to grab her trust vibrator.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

secret love for sleep morning sex, but she’ll never ever admit it. she’ll roll her eyes and groan, but it doesn't stop her from murmuring your name in breathy little sighs as she lazily rolls her hips up.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

boxers wearer shauna shipman my beloved. buys bras and underwear almost solely based on practicality and what’s comfortable but has a few racier things shoved in the bottom of her drawer to bring out to manipulate you into forgiving her crimes. someone’s got to remind you why you put up with so much shit.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

ridiculously high. if she’s not doing it, she’s probably thinking about it.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

if anything, Shauna feels more energized after sex, but if you keep her in bed long enough, she’ll grumble her way to sleep. she really enjoys feeling you pressed up against her afterward, even if the two of you are so hot that your combined body heat just makes her sweatier.

[puppyscatorccio]

hi!! first time requesting .. forgive me if i mess up a little!!1!1!

omega!shauna trying to babytrap alpha!reader by cutting a hole in a condom.,.,, and alpha!reader finding it and punishing her with spankings or something..,,.… 🤤

i love this so much, actually. / mdni, (attempted) babytrapping

shauna who thinks she's so sneaky, cutting and poking holes in all the condoms you have. in her mind, she totally thinks her plan will work, that she will end up "accidentally" pregnant and you will be a happy family together.

except that she's not nearly as smart as she thinks she is, because the moment you reach over for a condom, you instantly notice something is off. you look a little closer and see all the little holes she poked on them, how one of them even has a full hole that was probably cut with scissors.

"shauna, did you do this?" you ask just to make sure, and the sad, guilty puppy look on her face instantly tells you everything. her only excuse? "i don't want you to leave me or something... besides, don't you think it'd be good? we could be a family!"

you don't listen to it, of course. shauna was trying to do something behind your back, you can't let her go unpunished for this.

she's apologizing and huffing the whole time, but she doesn't disobey when you tell her to bend over your knee. she knows that she deserves it, that she's been bad and that she should be glad you're only spanking her and not doing worse. she knows, but she's disappointed that her plan didn't work.

shauna who makes such a huge mess on your lap just from the first hit. she's instantly soaked, panties ruined from how wet she gets when you spank her. it's not the first time you've done it, but you're being so much rougher than usual and it's driving her crazy.

when it starts to hurt too much, her ass red and raw, she tries to wiggle out of your lap and even cover herself with her hands. "i'm sorry, i won't do it again, i'm sorry!" her apologies are pointless, you don't plan on stopping anytime soon, but you do let her catch her breath for a few seconds, even letting her think it's over before surprising her with another hard spank.

by the end of it, she's left sniffling and wincing in pain, everything feeling like too much at once. you soothe her with kisses and even a few caresses, acting sweet but reminding her that this was necessary.

has she actually learned her lesson? ...no, probably not.

[puppybutcher]

thinking of my roots in classic lit tumblr and imagining a frankenstein inspired au.

shauna as adam, the creation, and jackie as john "jackie" victor frankenstein. tfem jackie.

it's purely a hypothetical. jackie feels uncomfortable with what she's doing but she gets so deep into it that she can't stop. if she doesn't think about this, her passion project, then she can't breathe, she can't think. everyday she's not sinking herself into adam, her first man, she's wallowing in her own misery. wasting away, slowly.

what was meant to be her adam becomes her eve. she models it after the women she loves, the women she admires, the women she wants to be. it's an accident. a happy accident, nonetheless. she's always craving companionship, and if her adam would be that, then she would make her adam as perfect as possible.

"shauna," she starts to call her. shauna learns fast, loves literature and loves to hide away with jackie's books. sometimes jackie worries about shauna outgrowing her. it's companionship, though, however fragile it might be. shauna loves her, she thinks; she notices the glances and the staring. maybe she loves shauna too—after all, she spent so long clay under her thumb carving the details of shauna's face as perfect as she could.

adam, shauna, adam, shauna. the creation flits between the two names jackie's given her. there's almost a resentment she feels towards her creator. she sees it when jackie recoils at the way she looks sometimes, almost as if it were unnatural. shauna looks nothing like jackie; yellowing eyes, translucent sallow skin; tall and awkward. and who is jackie, anyway? hiding her away like this, keeping her under the pads of her fingers like shauna's nothing more than just science. shauna's living, breathing. jackie made shauna, but figuratively shauna's still incomplete. shauna wants to make herself. being jackie's can't sate her, not with the stories and tales she reads from jackie's bookshelves.

[thechosenthree]

[chasingfictions]

2x04, Old Wounds

[lingeringscars]

i just think there is something about how nat could never forgive herself for javi sacrificing himself for her. she was worse than all of them because she let this kid, her somewhat boyfriend's brother, her own family, her friend, die in her place. it was supposed to be her, she heard the cries from javi and watched him die nonetheless.

but now she didn't watch. she didn't watch at all when it came to lisa. she stole the fish. she intervened with her family. she died in her place. nat healed a part of her when sacrificing herself for lisa. it wasn't right. it wasn't her time. she didn't want to go, but she got to finally pay forward javi's sacrifice in a way that she's never been able to do and always been punishing herself for. she got to heal her inner child by saving lisa. ( the irony is that it may not have happened had she not gone to try and save lisa to begin with. not tipped her off to something happening. these are the consequences of the girls actions. they wanted a hunt through the woods, they got one. they went after shauna and called off services, nat pays the price. misty tries to solve the problem the way she has been but she's not a perfect serial killer and she missed. they covered up the wrong guy at the end of last season. they killed the wrong person at the end of this one. ).

travis didn't break the pact, but neither did she. she did better. (btw travis was on the plane <3)

[megalony]

Touchy Situation

This is my newest Evan Buckley imagine, which will have a follow up, based on an idea I had after seeing the new episode.

I hope you will all like it, feedback is always lovely.

Taglist: @justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyje @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35 @supernaturalstilinski @kyky9103 @wutheringhearts2275 @gay4hotmilfs @itshamleth @chaoticnosleepinfluencer @gs29 @wh0reforsmutstuff @mel-vaz @natashamea18 @chrisevansdaughter @alexandra848484 @deena-beena-weena @targaryenluvs @kpoplover-19 @marvelmenarebeautiful @gillybear17

@zoeybennett @mrspeacem1nusone @zephyrmonkey @estella-novella @eleventhdoctorsangel @kniselle @senjoritanana @shauna-carsley @dottierose @cfdhouse51 @darkfemme1 @rainechase45 @lolalolsstuff @jupiter1700 @ashdoctor @an-aliens-ghost @lunaroserites @houseoftwistedspirits @callsignwidow @winterreader-nowwriter @reneinii @bellsbomb @western-pyro @itsgigikay @harry-satellite @midsummereve1993 @babyqueen17 @buckyyyismahhlife @sammiejane22

Evan Buckley Masterlist

Summary: Evan is having a hard time adjusting to the new Captain who seems to have a vendetta against him. But things get even harder when (Y/n) goes into labour and they end up having a preemie baby.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Are you feeling any better?" Evan leaned his head to one side and pressed his hips back into the counter. His eyes dragged up and down (Y/n)'s frame while his fingers began to tap against the glazed kitchen counter.

He could see the little things in (Y/n), like the way she was arched forwards rather than standing up straight. That meant she still had some back pain, and the way she kept shifting and leaning her hips from side to side told him the odd pains in her stomach were still present.

He could see the tiredness in her eyes and the far off look in her eyes told him she just wanted to go to bed and sleep. He would guess that (Y/n) didn't feel great today.

"A little."

"Really?"

(Y/n) looked over her shoulder to find Evan's brows raised and his arms folded over his chest rather than holding the counter. And when she noticed his fingers were tapping against his biceps, she couldn't help but shiver. He didn't believe her, and she couldn't blame him.

"Well enough for work." (Y/n) corrected herself and turned round so she was facing Evan.

He crossed the small distance between them and reached out to curl his hands around her hips, pulling her closer. His thumbs glided up and down her hips, noticing that she was wearing her work clothes which mainly consisted of black leggings and a maroon top with the dispatch logo in the right corner.

He wasn't so sure she should be going back to work yet, but if (Y/n) said she was going then he knew her mind was made up. Evan wouldn't be surprised if she came home feeling drained or like she had over-exerted herself, though.

"It's only a short shift, right?" If she suddenly told him she was doing a twelve hour shift, Evan would start protesting, that would be far too much. She would be throwing herself in the deep end after having just over a week off work.

"Yeah, only until eight." Leaning back, (Y/n) looped her arms around the back of Evan's neck and tucked herself into his embrace.

She tilted her head down to bury in the crook of his neck, feeling each deep breath he took while he leaned down and pressed his lips to the top of her head. She couldn't stop from closing her eyes and when Evan pressed his hips back into the counter, (Y/n) leaned further into him, letting him hold her weight for her. But it only made her feel worse; she felt like she was about to fall asleep standing up.

Her lips curved up at the corners when she felt Evan turn his hand and worm his fingers beneath her shirt. She didn't have to look to know exactly what he was doing. And she was right when she felt Evan press his hand against her bump.

He was exactly the same when they'd had Rowan. Always wanting to cling to her, hug her and have a hand on her bump somehow, even during the night he reached out for her. This time around was no different, except for the fact that they knew what gender the baby was.

When they had Rowan, they kept it a secret to find out, but this time hadn't been quite as smooth sailing. (Y/n) had had one or two problems and they'd ended up finding out the gender when the nurse told them by mistake. Not that they were too annoyed, they were excited and it meant they could get the spare room ready and get a few things in that didn't have to be gender neutral.

They were having a girl this time.

(Y/n) began gliding her fingers up and down the back of Evan's neck but when she finally opened her eyes, she blinked and took in what Evan was wearing. He wasn't in his usual jeans or even his jogging bottoms or gym shorts. He was in starched black trousers and a black shirt, and when she tilted her head back, she noticed the fire station logo over the left side of his chest.

"You're working today?" She didn't think Evan was heading to work today, it should be his day off, unless (Y/n) had gotten confused.

It had been off-putting to have time off work, it set (Y/n) back and made the days jumble up. But it meant she had been home every day to take Rowan to school and pick him up, they didn't have to worry about childcare while she had been off.

The only worry had been about the baby, since (Y/n) had time off due to a placental abruption.

"I swapped with Harry at work, I do today, he does my shift tomorrow. That way I can take you to your scan." He spoke quietly against the top of her head where he pressed his lips again, but when they parted and he looked down, Evan saw the frown etched onto her lips.

"But, but you said Gerrard hates people switching shifts."

"Doesn't matter, we've agreed and that's enough. I want to take you."

He hated the perplexed look that came across (Y/n)'s features, and he knew exactly why she was worried. Gerrard didn't like Evan; he took an instant dislike to him when he started two weeks ago, and when he learned that Evan was Bobby's son in law, it got worse.

If Evan tried to talk back or voice a concern, it was thrown back in his face that his father in law was no longer in charge and he couldn't slack anymore or get 'special treatment' as if that happened anyway.

But it did mean that if Evan- or anyone else on the team- had a problem or family issue, they couldn't expect Gerrard to understand. He didn't like people taking early leave from one shift and coming in early for another to make up the difference, whereas Bobby didn't mind. He didn't like people swapping shifts or needing to leave for family situations. He expected everyone to be robots and do their work to peak performance and if he asked them to stay late, he expected them to stay.

"I don't want to get you into trouble-"

"You're not getting me into trouble, baby. Harry didn't care about changing shifts and it's not against the law, Gerrard can't stop us. Besides, I want to make sure my girls are okay."

Evan didn't want (Y/n) thinking she was going to get him into any trouble when she wasn't technically doing anything. They all knew if Evan had any other Captain, swapping shifts wouldn't be an issue, especially because it was to take his wife to an appointment.

Gerrard was just being vindictive and Evan wouldn't rise to it or let him dictate or feel bad about wanting to be there for his family.

"What about Rowan?" (Y/n) pressed her chin into Evan's chest so she could look up at him. She watched the irritation about Gerrard fade from his features which softened into a smile.

"Maddie's gonna pick him up today, she said he can stay for dinner with her and Jee. It's all sorted, I promise." He had already made sure childcare wouldn't be an issue before he asked Harry to switch shifts. Maddie would get Rowan from school and have him at her place so he could spend some time with Jee and when (Y/n) finished her shift, she could pick him up.

"As long as you don't get into trouble."

A shiver tore down her spine when Evan's hand unravelled from her stomach and he trailed both hands up her sides. His fingertips tickled her skin until he finally settled his palms on either side of her neck with his thumbs tracing along her jaw. He tilted her head back and leaned down until their noses brushed and his smile was almost touching hers.

"It's all sorted," He murmured quietly before he pressed his lips to hers, stealing whatever oxygen she had left in her lungs.

He smiled against her lips which parted enough for Evan to slide his tongue into her mouth and trace across her lips. He tried not to shiver and shimmy on the spot when he felt (Y/n)'s hands leave his neck and trace down his sides instead until she was holding his hips to steady them both.

Evan wouldn't have (Y/n) worrying about this, which meant he wasn't about to to tell him as long as they agreed and changed the rota on the system, then it was okay. But if anyone asked for shift swaps Gerrard usually said no or agreed if they went on cleaning duty, and Evan had done his share of cleaning.

He was taking (Y/n) to her appointment tomorrow to make sure she and their baby were okay. And he didn't care what Gerrard said or thought about that.

The memory of this morning flooded Evan's mind and worked as the only thing that kept him sane and quiet.

A stern expression flooded his face while he clasped his hands together tightly behind his back. His fingers pressed into the back of his hands until his knuckles were turning white and pins and needles were shooting up and down his nerves.

He wanted to go home. He never wished to leave shift early and he never wished to stay home and not come into work at all, but Gerrard was changing things. Evan didn't do well with change in any aspect, but these last two weeks had honestly made Evan consider transferring to another station or even changing his job.

He couldn't handle being under Gerrard's reign of terror for much longer, and it hadn't even been a month yet.

"Look at this sorry excuse for a team." Whatever Gerrard said next went in one ear and out the other for Evan. As soon as the Captain was walking towards the end of their line up where Hen was, Evan let his mind wander.

He tried to picture (Y/n), the way she had leant on him the morning, the feeling of her arms cocooned around his neck or her fingers running up and down his waist to try and tickle him. The feeling of her lips on his, her smile, the swell of her stomach, anything. Just any part of (Y/n) to take his mind off where he was and why he was so irritated.

Evan tried not to think too hard about the shift swap either. He wished Bobby was still in charge. Bobby would have let Evan leave tomorrow lunch time, take (Y/n) to her scan and then come back on shift. Evan wouldn't have needed a swap if Bobby had been in charge.

And although he was grateful to Harry for agreeing to the swap, it was still annoying. Now, Evan was going to come home after Rowan was already in bed and he wouldn't get to cuddle him or read him a story before bed. He wouldn't have time with Rowan until he finished school tomorrow afternoon.

Evan was brought back to the harsh reality he found himself in when he heard Gerrard's voice boom through the station.

"Where's Anderson?" The older man scanned his eyes up and down the team all stood in a row like they were in the army talking to their drill sargent.

"Not on shift today, sir." Eddie tried to keep his voice neutral, but he thought it would have been obvious. The correct number of staff were working today, Gerrard had seen them all. Was it not clear enough that Harry was in fact having a day off if he wasn't here and they weren't a man down?

"What?"

A shiver crawled down Evan's spine and he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before he stepped forward and tilted his head in Gerrard's direction.

"He swapped shifts with me, he's working tomorrow, I'm on today."

"And you didn't run this past me first?" Gerrard rose a brow, but Evan didn't look at him. He looked at the logo on the fire truck directly behind Gerrard so he didn't have to focus on his new Captain who he had a growing dislike for.

"Didn't know I had to, sir."

"This is the third time you've changed shifts in less than a month, Buckley. What's wrong with you?"

Evan steeled his neck and locked his jaw to stop himself from wincing or giving anything away. Gerrard had clearly checked up on him, probably on all the team. It would be on the rota that Evan had either swapped shifts or finished early one one day and stayed late on another. Bobby never minded and no one in head office ever said anything. They didn't care as long as the job got done and people kept their hours.

"My wife isn't well." He couldn't stop the defensiveness from seeping into his voice or his upper lip form curling up in distaste.

He had valid reasons which he didn't have to disclose to Gerrard if he didn't want to. He didn't need permission to swap. He and Harry changed the rota, they both agreed to it and it was all done without a fuss. But Gerrard liked to make a fuss, and he liked to show up his team and make them uncomfortable.

"She'd better be dying for you to have this much time off. This is the last time, understand?"

When Evan took a step forward and dropped his hands from behind his back, he suddenly felt Chimney grabbing his bicep and yanking him back towards their line. He knew what Evan was about to do. He could see his brother in law was ready to lunge, and he had every right.

But no one wanted Evan getting himself into trouble or getting suspended today, he had to keep his calm.

Evan shrugged off Chimney's hand and turned on his heels, stomping against the polished floor in a huff, aiming for the locker room. He had to be away from that so-called Captain before he took his head off.

(Y/n) wasn't well and she was pregnant, if Evan needed time off to look after her or take her to appointments then he had every right to do that. And there was no reason for Gerrard to be so rude and dismissive.

Evan wouldn't stand for it.

***

The grimace plastered onto Evan's face slowly morphed and faded out when he took another bite of his food. He wanted to go home. He wanted Bobby to come back to work and be back in charge.

Last night he and (Y/n) had Bobby and Athena round for dinner and Evan couldn't help but say how depressing Gerrard was making every shift. It wasn't just the team as a whole who were feeling let down and beaten up, Evan felt like he was being persecuted.

When Bobby was in charge, Evan didn't get special treatment, everyone could see that, even the new recruits or the people who came in on bank just to fill a slot when they were short staffed. Everyone knew Bobby was fair and sometimes he even went harder on Evan, but he knew exactly when to draw the line.

Unlike Gerrard.

Evan didn't know what to do, he didn't know how he was going to get through these next few days, let alone weeks if Gerrard stayed in command for much longer. He might have to change stations, ask for a temporary switch until they either got someone else in charge of the 118 or Bobby came back to them.

Evan glanced to his left and rose a brow when he watched Eddie lean back in his seat and subtly pull his plate closer to the edge of the table. Gerrard was complaining- yet again- about something, whilst they were having lunch. And they all knew he had a tendency to spit when he was eating and talking.

A small grin wormed onto Evan's face at Eddie's little movement, and he tried to let his mind wander, which was never a hard task with a hyperactive brain like his.

Both elbows pressed down on the table and he hunched forward, noticing that with both his feet tapping against the floor, it made his knees jostle and bang into the table. No one seemed to notice. It was a good job Evan sat on the opposite end of the table to Gerrard or he would be told off for that too.

Everyone had their dedicated seats at the table, and Evan used to sit next to Bobby. With Gerrard in Bobby's seat, Evan had switched to sit at the other end of the table, adding as much space between him and the Captain as possible. Everyone thought it was the best solution.

When Eddie heard Gerrard begin to nit-pick at the food, he leaned to his left and looked over at Buck.

"It's almost as good as Bobby's spag bol."

"Almost?" Evan jested even though he didn't feel in the best mood right now. He didn't seem to be in a good mood at all, even when he went home he couldn't seem to switch off or get out of this mood. But being around (Y/n) and Rowan helped; it helped a lot.

He managed a smile when Eddie grinned and stabbed at his food with his fork; Evan had been doing most of the cooking while Bobby wasn't here. For Bobby's birthday this year, (Y/n) had booked him onto a cooking course as he loved cooking, and he had taken Evan along with him. The pair of them had a lot more fun than they expected.

Evan ate another mouthful, near enough clearing his plate before he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket.

They weren't supposed to be on their phones while on shift, not even when they had hours to kill between calls on a slow day. But everyone checked them when they could and it was dinner time, Evan would take a phone call if he had to.

He pushed his seat back, scraping the legs against the floor when he realised it was Maddie calling him. She didn't usually call when he was at work unless there was some kind of emergency. Working at dispatch meant Maddie and (Y/n) both called the 118 to give them pointers and let them know about serious situations and collisions.

"Buck, can you talk?" Maddie's voice was oddly quiet like she thought Gerrard had super-human hearing.

But it was the catch in her voice that caught Evan's attention and he knew that slight scratch in her tone. She had been- or still was- crying. Why was she upset? What had happened?

He got up from his chair and stepped across towards the sofa in the corner of the annex just past the stairs. He wasn't talking to her with the rest of the team listening in and Gerrard watching with those beady little eyes that made Evan uncomfortable.

"I've got time… Mads, what's the matter?" Evan slumped his hips against the back of the sofa and crossed one leg over the other while his free hand curved around his chest. It made him look like he was trying to give himself a comforting hug, but he didn't care. He could feel himself bubbling up with panic, he could just sense that something wasn't right.

"You need to come down to the hospital, now."

"Why, are you okay?"

The silence he was met with made Evan realise that this wasn't about Maddie. She would be a bit calmer if she was at the hospital because of an injury or problem with herself. Maddie was always detached whenever it was something wrong with her or she had an issue. When family were concerned, she lost her nerve a little.

Thoughts and rambling circled around in Evan's mind as he tried to deduce the problem. It couldn't be something to do with Jee, or else Maddie would have called Chimney first, not Evan. And she doubted it would be something to do with Rowan, who was at school, or else (Y/n) or the school would have gotten in contact with him.

That only left (Y/n).

"(Y/n)'s water broke, she's gone into labour and- and they can't stop it." The hitch in Maddie's voice showed she was about to cry, but her words broke her little brother completely.

Evan couldn't help the tears that blurred his vision or the way his face dropped like he was suffering from a stroke.

This wasn't right. It wasn't possible. (Y/n) hadn't been well lately, but she hadn't had any signs that she would go into labour. She wasn't even thirty weeks pregnant, if she had the baby now they would be extremely premature, they would all have a big fight on their hands.

They couldn't have their baby now; they got to thirty nine weeks with Rowan and he had been perfectly fine. (Y/n) had no issues and a smooth labour with Rowan, why was this time any different?

"Buck?"

"Text me the ward details, I'm on my way." He wasn't sure how he managed to stop his voice from wavering or crackling like static. But when he heard Maddie murmur her agreement, he ended the call and stuffed his phone into his pocket.

She could send him the details so he knew what part of the hospital he had to get to. He wasn't sticking around here, he was going straight to his wife. She needed him.

His feet felt oddly cold and numb in his boots when he wobbled back towards the table. Everything seemed to blur in front of him, he could see shapes and colours but everything was dotted with spots twinkling in front of his eyes. Each breath started to run away without him and when he wobbled to the left, he suddenly felt Hen reaching out for him.

Her hands grabbed his arm and his lower back, steadying him before he fell into the table or into a heap on the floor.

"Buck, woah, what's going on?" Worry was very much evident in her voice as she pushed up from her seat to stand beside him.

"I have to go."

His voice was raspy and he couldn't look anywhere but down at his empty plate that was spinning in circles before his eyes.

"Your shift isn't over." Gerrard barely looked up from his plate before he went back to hacking away at his spaghetti, eating as if he had been starved for a week. Despite telling Evan earlier that the food was unnaturally spicy and the mince tasted off; anything to irritate him.

Evan could of killed him then and there. Bobby wouldn't have queried it. He would have seen the distress on Evan's face and told him he could go without question. He would of asked what was wrong and tried to help rather than sit there and dictate.

Evan glanced his watering eyes around the team, barely able to suck in a proper breath which caused Hen to place her her hand on his chest to try and prompt him to breathe.

"What's happened?"

"(Y/n)'s having the baby."

Both Chimney and Eddie shared sideways glances with each other. That wasn't good. They all knew (Y/n) was nowhere near full term. Before Bobby left he had marked it on the calendar in his office when (Y/n)'s due date was. He had been getting ready to arrange more staff for that month so Evan could have his time off and Bobby could also take some leave to see his second grandchild.

Eddie ran his hand down his face, silently doing the mental math before he took a shuddering breath and looked over at Hen. (Y/n) was nearly three months early if she was indeed going to have the baby today. None of them wanted to think what the odds were that this would turn out okay.

"Go." The little nudge Hen gave Evan was enough to make him charge into action.

He stumbled away from the table, boots skidding along the floor before he pounded down the stairs, almost toppling over more than once on his way down. He had to go, (Y/n) needed him. He had to call Bobby and tell him what was happening. Wherever Bobby was, whether he had a new assignment or whether he was at the chief's office, he had to know and come down to the hospital.

Evan had to find someone to look after Rowan when he finished school.

"You're no longer acting Captain, Wilson. You don't get to dismiss people from work. He still has to stay on shift or he gets reprimanded-"

"You heard him, his wife's in labour."

The dark look that crossed Hen's eyes matched the way her lips curled up and she clamped one hand down on the back of the chair in front of her. While her other hand moved to hold her hip that cocked out to the side. Did Gerrard not have a heart? What if his spouse had been rushed to hospital, would he not want to be there from the start?

"And she will see him in-" He put his fork down to glance at the watch strapped to his wrist. "Three hours, when he actually finishes."

"She's not even hit thirty weeks yet, that makes the baby extremely premature. He has to go." It took a lot for Eddie to refrain from slamming his hand down on the table to emphasise his point.

Being in labour before thirty-three weeks was classed as very premature, so (Y/n) being below thirty made her extremely high risk for complications and it didn't give the baby the best of odds. How could Evan be expected to stay at work when his wife was in risky labour? How could he be told he had to carry on working?

His mind would clearly and rightfully be elsewhere and if he wasn't concentrating at work someone could get injured. Evan couldn't stay here agonising for three hours that were better spent being with his family.

The team moved over to the balcony just in time to see Evan hooking his bag onto his shoulder before he slipped behind the stairs towards the back door. He was heading out into the car park to get to the jeep. He was in a rush, and none of them blamed him. All their thoughts were drifting away with him, wishing him luck despite the irritation written across Gerrard's face.

No one could expect Evan to stay.

***

"I-I'm sorry-"

"Don't say that." Evan wiped his hand across his eyes, ridding hundreds more tears that didn't seem to want to stop falling from his eyes.

He hated when (Y/n) said that, especially right now. She kept trying to say sorry as if she had done something to provoke labour. She hadn't done anything wrong and Evan wouldn't sit and listen to her plead and say how sorry she felt when she didn't have to. She had nothing to feel bad or guilty about.

He inched the chair closer to the bed and pulled (Y/n)'s hand closer to his face so he could press his lips to her knuckles. He started to run his hand up and down her arm when (Y/n) tightened her grip on his hand and leaned forward on the next contraction.

Every now and then, Evan looked over at the monitor across from him. They were monitoring the baby's heartbeat, to make sure she was okay and that her vitals didn't suddenly drop or fade out. That constant wavy line and the quiet drumming beat kept Evan's own heart going.

"You're doing so good," He murmured against the back of her hand while he ran his fingers up and down her arm in a constant rhythm.

They had been in this position before, but that had been entirely different. They had been prepared for labour, they were ready and excited and had no issues when they had Rowan. Labour had lasted fourty hours with Rowan, this time it was barely more than nine.

Rowan had been fine when he had been born, none of his organs were too small and under-developed. His lungs were prepared to breathe on their own, his stomach had been developed enough to take milk orally. Their baby girl wasn't going to be the same. She wouldn't be able to breathe unaided. She wouldn't be able to feed properly, or regulate her heartbeat or her body temperature. She wasn't going to survive outside an incubator.

Evan turned his head back to look at the midwife when (Y/n)’s hands tightened around his own signalling she was having another contraction. He cringed when (Y/n) started pushing and her scream rebounded through his ears and made a shiver run down his spine.

She pulled Evan's hand up until she could press it against her chest and her eyes followed him as he got up from the chair and perched down on the edge of the bed to be closer to her.

It reminded her of how they'd been when they had Rowan. (Y/n) had constantly been moving around the room right until she was ready to push with Rowan. And they both ended up on the bed, (Y/n) sat between Evan's thighs. They had been happy. They had been excited and content and overwhelmed. They weren't crying in fright, screaming in agony and suffering broken hearts at the prospect of having a poorly, premature baby.

He leaned over, curling his left arm around her waist and he let (Y/n) lean into his chest while his lips attached to the top of her head.

Part of Evan wanted to let go of (Y/n)'s hand and move down to feather his fingers across her stomach instead. She was only six months along, and Evan couldn't get his head around the prospect that her stomach wasn't going to get any bigger than this. They had barely gotten into the phase of feeling the baby move and kick, and now it was all over.

"Okay, the head's born now, well done. Take a breath, and we can get ready for the next contraction."

Part of (Y/n) was desperate to smile when she watched Evan lean over her stomach as soon as the midwife spoke. He kept hold of her hand and his other hand stayed on her waist, but he leaned down to look at their second baby.

They were going to be so much smaller than Rowan.

Evan had a picture from the first time he got to hold Rowan right after his birth. He wanted to do the same again, have a picture of him holding his baby girl for the first time. But if he did, those pictures wouldn't be comparable. His daughter was going to be miniscule, compared to Rowan.

She was going to be tiny, wrinkled, helpless. Evan doubted if she would fit in the palm of his hands.

"That's it, push again (Y/n),"

"You're almost there, sweetheart." Evan nudged his nose against (Y/n)'s and pecked her lips before he moved round a little. He leaned across so (Y/n) could lean her back against his chest a bit more. His arms cocooned around her waist and his fingers stayed oddly still against her stomach.

Evan's mind was going a mile a minute. So many thoughts blundered about in his head. What would he do if this situation didn't go the way they were hoping for? Maddie had gone to get Rowan from school and look after him for the rest of the afternoon, and she said he could stay with her and Chimney tonight.

If their baby didn't make it, how could Evan call her and explain that? How would he tell Bobby and Athena without breaking down? What would he say to Rowan? Their boy was only five, he wasn't going to understand any of this.

Tears tracked down (Y/n)'s face and she felt like she was on fire when she heard the midwife say that the shoulders were born. Then the arms.

It felt like she was being electrocuted and like her legs had been burned off at the thighs when all the weight was suddenly pulled down from her stomach. Their daughter was no longer safe and protected with (Y/n), she were fending for herself now. (Y/n) hadn't protected their daughter like she had done with Rowan. She'd failed her.

Her body slumped back into Evan but she couldn't hear whatever he said, even though she could feel his lips moving against her neck and his voice vibrated against her skin. His arms tightened around her waist in a comforting, broken hug as he held her tightly to his chest and started to sway them side to side.

Her shaking hands moved up to hold onto Evan's forearms that grounded her and kept her calm when she felt like she was about to disappear. She let her head flop back on his shoulder and her wet lips smothered his neck as her nails punctured into his arms.

"Is she okay?" (Y/n) was surprised she managed to speak when her throat was tightening and tears were streaming down her face.

She thought labour was going to feel the same as when she had Rowan the first time around. (Y/n) didn't expect it to be over so swiftly and it broke her heart to know this had been easier because their daughter was significantly smaller than their first baby.

"She's a strong one. Here, you can have a quick cuddle."

Tears began to stream down (Y/n)'s face when the newborn was settled on her chest. She couldn't stop the way she started to cry and struggle for air, even though she wasn't the one who had the breathing problems.

Her trembling hands moved to cradle her daughter who fit perfectly in the palm of her hands. She didn't care about the midwife hovering beside her, making sure the little baby could still breathe and was still wriggling. All (Y/n) cared about was the life resting on her chest and Evan, curled around her like a security blanket. With the tip of his finger delicately but shakily brushing across his daughter's cheek.

(Y/n) all but mewled and tucked her face into Evan's neck when their girl was taken from her chest. That wasn't long at all, but at least she'd gotten to hold her for a few seconds.

"I seem to remember you saying you cut the cord with your first. Would you like to do the honours again?"

The midwife was leaning over the end of the bed and she looked over at Evan with something tender in her eyes. It almost made him wonder if she had been in this position before, if she herself had experienced a premature baby. The look in her eyes made Evan feel like they could relate to her.

When Evan looked down at her, (Y/n) nodded and managed to lean forward enough to let him move from behind her. She would be okay if he let her go, just for a little while.

His took the medical scissors from the midwife and tried to stop himself from shaking. She held the cord up where she had clamped it off and Evan cut it just like he had done with Rowan and a handful of other newborns that he delivered whilst on shift. But this was different. It would always be different with his own children.

As soon as the cord was cut, Evan was left shaking, barely breathing as he leant over the end of the bed. His eyes glued to their initial midwife as she stole the baby from the bed and moved over to the incubator in the corner of the room. Evan knew in a minute or two their daughter would be rushed down to the neonatal unit.

(Y/n) swallowed harshly as she watched the midwife scribble Baby Buckley onto a wrist tag, along with the date and time of their daughter's birth.

They didn't even have a name for her. They thought they had another three months to come up with a name they both agreed on. But now their girl was here and they didn't know what to call her. Baby Buckley was going to have to be sufficient until (Y/n) and Evan had some time to think.

They hadn't been expecting her so early.

***

"Mum," Tears began to flood (Y/n)'s eyes again, causing yet another headache to well up behind her eyes, but she did her best to push them away.

Her arms opened out and she could feel herself trembling when Athena hurried over to her and wrapped her up in a hug. Athena kissed the side of her head and held (Y/n) as tight to her chest as she could, like she was trying imbed her step-daughter into her chest to keep her safe.

"Oh, honey. Are you okay?"

(Y/n) didn't know the answer to that, so she kept hold of Athena until she moved to sit down on the bed beside her. When Athena gently let go of her, (Y/n) leaned back and reached her arms up when her dad leaned over her. His arms secured around her, pulling her into his embrace while he kissed the top of her head.

"Hey sweetheart, we stopped by the neonatal ward on the way up." Bobby cupped the back of (Y/n)'s neck and pecked her temple again as he spoke. He felt his heart exploding in his chest at the hope that bubbled up in her eyes.

"Is she okay?" (Y/n) hadn't been able to get down to see her baby yet, that one little cuddle was all she had. The nurses constantly reassured her that she was okay, but it wasn't enough. And Evan hadn't left her side yet to go and see if she was okay.

He had texted Bobby and Maddie the moment their baby was born and Bobby and Athena came straight over. But Evan had asked if they would stop by and see if they could see and check on the baby first, Evan didn't want to leave (Y/n) alone just yet.

"She's stabilised and settled in an incubator. All set up on a breathing tube," Bobby felt the shiver than ran down (Y/n)'s spine and he hated to see the way her lips wobbled before she started to cry again.

This wasn't how any of them thought their day would turn out. Bobby didn't think he would get a frantic call from Evan just after dinner saying he was rushing down to the hospital. He never thought he would have a premature baby in the family, it was just taken for granted that things had been fine with Rowan and they all expected it to go smoothly with the new baby too.

"We'll take you down to see her soon." Athena rested her hand on (Y/n)'s thigh to try and calm her down.

"Is Rowan okay?" (Y/n) looked between both parents, praying they had heard from Maddie and knew if he was alright. He loved spending weekends with Athena and Bobby or going out with Maddie, but he didn't usually spend the night away from home during the week. He would know something was wrong because he hadn't been told about this sleepover, it was sprung on him.

"He's fine, honey, and we'll take him this weekend so you both can stay here and focus on the little one."

Bobby nodded, about to chip in and agree and try to calm his daughter down, but when he looked up, he frowned. Evan looked panic-stricken. His teeth were pulling at his lower lip, his eyes were hollow and dark and he was looking between Bobby and his phone like he had just received an alert about the end of the world.

When Evan ticked his towards the door and began to tremor his foot against the floor, Bobby nodded. He pecked (Y/n)'s temple again and smiled at Athena before he followed Evan outside into the corridor.

"Buck, everything okay?" Bobby's hands found his hips but he was taken back when Evan looked like he was going to explode. The word 'no' rambled from his lips before he thrust his phone at his former captain before his hands tangled in his hair.

The younger man began to pace up and down, scratching his scalp with how tightly his fingers were knitting into his curls. He could feel his breaths running away without him and tears were welling up in his eyes again, but he didn't know what to do.

For a few moments, Bobby stayed silent as he looked over the text messages that had been sent to him. For starters it was wrong that Gerrard was messaging Buck during a time like this when he knew exactly what was happening. And secondly, what he was saying was utterly horrid.

"Okay… Buck, calm down-"

"Bobby, he's telling me I have to go into work tomorrow. He said if I don't turn up he'll suspend me without pay."

Evan tried not to raise his voice, but he couldn't help it. The first few messages he could ignore. The ones saying he had been wrong to leave shift early and would have to make the time up, Evan could ignore that. But it was the ones that followed and the email that reiterated the same thing which sent his blood boiling.

He was trying to make Evan go to his shift in the morning. He wanted Evan to do a twelve hour shift the day after his premature baby had been born. Who did he think he was? Why did he think he had the right to do that? Why on Earth did he think Evan would agree to this?

"Look at the end of the message!" Evan's voice was seething and he leaned over Bobby's shoulder to hastily scroll to the last tangent message he received from Gerrard.

*… you haven't been authorised any leave and as such, you need to turn up to work as normal tomorrow.

"Work as normal! Is he being serious? This is an emergency- she's not even an hour old yet-"

"Buck, I'll sort it." The commanding tone in Bobby's voice cut off Evan's rambling that was taking away his breath and making his face turn a dark shade of red.

Evan couldn't 'work as normal' when his wife had just had a baby. A baby who was in the intensive care unit and would be there for the foreseeable future. Evan's baby wasn't going to be leaving this hospital for at least six to seven weeks, that was almost two months. Evan would have to split his time between home, hospital and work and he had no idea how that was going to work. Normal was never going to be an option from now on.

But he knew one thing for certain; he was not going in to work tomorrow. He had just had a baby, he was entitled to two weeks leave and Bobby and Athena were entitled to one week of leave for being grandparents. None of them could be forced to work.

He shifted his hands down from his hair to dig his nails into the back of his neck, bending his elbows out at his sides to try and expand his chest and take deeper breaths.

Why couldn't Bobby still be in charge? Why did Gerrard have a vendetta against Evan? What had he done to deserve any of this?

"Alright, now I spoke to Sue over at dispatch, normally they don't give maternity pay or leave until thirty-eight weeks, but because (Y/n)'s already had the baby, they've agreed to start her on leave and full pay from now, as normal. She'll just have to go back to work a bit earlier but we can sort that when the times comes."

Bobby had called Sue the moment Evan called him, someone had to tell her that (Y/n) wasn't going to be back to work for a while.

The policy for maternity leave was that (Y/n) shouldn't get paid any leave until she was thirty-eight weeks pregnant, then she could take her leave and be off work for the agreed period of time. But (Y/n) wasn't on leave because she was ill, she had already had the baby and Sue was understanding as well as sympathetic.

(Y/n)'s maternity leave would start now, which meant that she would be going back to work nine weeks earlier than original, since she was taking it nine weeks early at the start. But that was okay. As long as (Y/n) got paid and her leave was secured, it didn't matter when she went back to work.

"And me?" He almost dreaded to ask. He didn't know what he would do if it turned out that Gerrard was in the right and he had to go back to work tomorrow.

He wouldn't. Evan wouldn't be able to leave (Y/n) or their daughter, but he didn't know how long Gerrard would keep him on suspension if he didn't turn up. And he couldn't afford suspension without pay.

"You're pay is different, as soon as you have a child you get two weeks paid leave from the day of the birth. Just like with Rowan. Gerrard can't take that away from you so I'll have a word with the Chief and make sure it's amended on the rota. It's going to be fine, I'll sort it out."

When Bobby handed him his phone back, Evan shoved it in his pocket and looked up at his father in law. Bobby's hands moved to his shoulders and he started taking deep breaths, coaching Evan to do the same.

There was no need to panic. Now that bobby wasn't in charge of a station, he was around the chief and the department a lot more than before. He would go straight there tomorrow and make sure that Evan was put on paid leave, not suspension. After those two weeks, Bobby would help him work out a system where he could work and visit the hospital.

And all the family would help with looking after Rowan so they didn't have to leave their daughter alone at the hospital. They would all make it work, Gerrard be damned.

"Why's he doing this to me?" Tears began to bubble over in Evan's eyes as his chest tightened. "He t- he tried to stop me being here, he's trying to get me back on shift… Bobby, she might- if she doesn't make it-"

"Hey, don't think like that. She's here, she's being looked after and we're gonna go and check on her in a minute. She's strong, we'll make sure she's okay. As for Gerrard, we can sort that too."

Bobby didn't know why Gerrard was being vindictive against Evan, he didn't know whether it was because Evan had ideas and stood out on shift. Whether it was due to his bold ideas and his methods or his personality or simply because he was Bobby's in law. Whatever it was, it couldn't continue and the team weren't going to let it happen. They would do whatever they could to make things easier for Evan and his family.

Pushing forward, Evan deadlocked his arms around Bobby who gladly reeled him in for a hug.

"I wish you hadn't resigned." There was no malice in Evan's tone, but the raw agony laced into his tone was enough to cut Bobby's heart strings and make him cling to Evan tighter.

He shouldn't have resigned so quickly. He should have taken the time to think about it and choose his options. He should have talked to the chief and made sure there was a suitable replacement rather than leaving and letting Gerrard slip back into the position of Captain. He had unintentionally made things ten times more difficult for his family, and he was utterly destroyed by it.

"Me too."

He couldn't change what had happened, no matter how desperately he wanted to.

And now Evan was stuck bearing the consequences.

[rhiannonsknife]

hc of yj characters asking fem!reader out for valentines?

— VALENTINE‘S DAY WITH THE YELLOWJACKETS

— it’s february, so valentine’s day is coming up, yellowjackets s3 is coming out, and it’s my birthday month!! if you don’t have a valentine yet, consider this your invitation for us to all be each other’s! 💌

SHAUNA SHIPMAN

৻ꪆ shauna spends weeks rehearsing how she’s going to ask you out for valentine’s day. she writes and rewrites little notes, practices lines in her mirror, and almost talks herself out of it half a dozen times because she’s convinced you’ll say no or think it’s silly. even though you’ve given her zero reason to think that.

৻ꪆ she eventually settles on something lowkey but heartfelt: she spends hours preparing her attic room, decorating it with string lights, candles, and little paper hearts she cut out herself. it’s simple but so intimate, so very her. the effort shauna put in is obvious, and she hopes you see that.

৻ꪆ when you arrive, she’s practically buzzing with nerves, immediately giving herself away. she ushers you up the stairs to her room, watching your face carefully as you take in the space: on her bed, there’s a handwritten letter waiting for you, sealed with a little heart sticker. she insists you read it, standing by your side the whole time. as you read, you notice her mouthing the words. she’s memorized every line.

JACKIE TAYLOR

৻ꪆ jackie is not about to settle for a basic valentine’s day ask. i mean, it’s jackie taylor. she doesn’t do things halfway, especially not when it comes to you.

৻ꪆ while you’re in class, she sneaks out to decorate your locker with perfectly arranged hearts and ribbons (color coordinated, obviously). inside, there’s a bouquet of your favorite flowers, a handwritten note, and a coupon for ‘one valentines dinner date with jackie taylor’. she delivers the whole thing while casually leaning against the lockers, looking completely unbothered but making sure there’s an audience.

৻ꪆ jackie acts like she’s totally confident (you see right through her from the start), but the second you say yes, that fake composure cracks just a little. she’ll beam at you, maybe brush your hand, and say, “great. pick you up at 7?” on the inside, though, she’s screaming with excitement.

LOTTIE MATTHEWS

৻ꪆ lottie’s approach is definitely gentle and thoughtful!! she decides to ask you out during one of your shared moments of quiet: she invites you over to her house one evening, leading you through the back door to her spacious yard, where twinkling fairy lights are strung between the trees.

৻ꪆ you’re sitting together on a blanket, knees almost touching, when she finally brings it up: “i was thinking,” lottie starts, “i’d really like to spend valentine’s day with you. just us. would that be okay?” shes holding your hands with both of hers, glancing up at you from under her lashes hopefully.

৻ꪆ when you agree, lottie’s face lights up with the softest, happiest smile, the kind that makes her eyes crinkle at the corners. “i was hoping you’d say yes,” she admits, squeezing your hand before bringing it to her lips for a soft kiss. the rest of the night is spent planning your actual valentine’s date together: nothing too over the top, just something that feels right for the two of you.

NAT SCATORCCIO

৻ꪆ out of all the yellowjackets, nat is the least concerned with valentine’s day…at least, that’s what she tells herself. if it weren’t for you, she wouldn’t even think twice about it. but because it’s you, she finds herself secretly stressing over how to ask you out. she wants to do this right. nat spends way too much time trying to come up with the least awkward way to do it, all while telling herself she doesn’t actually care that much. (she totally does)

৻ꪆ after practice, nat catches you outside the locker rooms, leaning against the wall with her hands awkwardly hidden behind her back. “hey,” she says, trying to sound casual. “you doing anything for valentine’s? no? cool. cool, cool, cool. uh- wanna hang out with me? maybe?” it’s simple, direct, and couldn’t be any more nat until she pulls out a slightly crumpled bouquet of roses when you say yes.

৻ꪆ the gesture is so unexpectedly sweet coming from her that you can’t help but grin. before she can fully recover, you lean in and press a quick kiss to her cheek, and nat lets out a breath she didn’t even realize she was holding. she stands there for a moment, stunned, before a slow, lopsided smile spreads across her face. “yeah…okay,” she murmurs.

[vevobly]

Yellowjackets Jealousy Headcanons!

A/N: This has you being romantically involved with them in mind, but you can interpret it however you want. Devour and enjoy as always!

Jackie Taylor:

Jackie thrives on attention, especially yours. So when it goes to someone else? Oh boy, you are in big trouble.

Jackie would practically be steaming. Whether you're aware or unaware of what you're doing to her, she'd be pissed.

Her jealousy would be subtle but to those who knew her well, it would be clear as fucking daylights.

Jackie would either resort to making passive aggressive comments or trying to one-up the person she's jealous of.

Like, if someone compliments you too much—she would just appear out of nowhere and insert herself between you guys.

Now, I'm not antagonizing Jackie here! But I fully believe the girl has some sort of popular complexity. So when you hang out with someone she deems "beneath" her social circle, she gets especially jealous.

Shauna Shipman:

Knowing Shauna, her jealousy would definitely be felt more than heard. Oh, and she'd probably bottle it all up until she explodes.

She’ll watch the way you interact with others, her eyes narrowing whenever someone else makes you laugh or smiles at you in a way she doesn’t like.

Shauna won’t confront you directly (unless she's forced into a corner into doing that) about it.

But she will subtly manipulate certain situations so you spend more time alone with her.

Shauna will definitely feel guilty about it. And very insecure at the same time that she'll ask you stuff like — “you’re not… bored of me, right?

Taissa Turner:

Jealousy does not get to Taissa. And if it did, she would not be jealous openly. I mean, she's confident in her relationship with you.

But if someone does start "flirting" with you, she's immediately stepping right in. Cool and collective.

She won't lash out or anything like that, she'll just remind them (and maybe you) who's in charge.

If jealousy really does get to her? She'd just go up to you and discuss it. That's about it.

Unless she's extremely jealous, then she might start controlling your time with other people for a bit. No worries! It won't last for too long.

Van Palmer:

Van would act like she’s all cool with it, but she's not. She would get extremely protective of you in a certain way when she's jealous.

Like, this girl will joke about you “breaking her heart” but also hover near you whenever she senses someone else than her vying for your attention.

Now, Van trusts you. But her insecurities have their own little way of just wiggling into her head, especially when someone attractive or successful tries to get your attention.

She’ll become more affectionate with you, using that to ward off any people trying to make their moves on you.

If you question it, she'll just laugh it off. Insist you're being a little silly because she knows better than anyone else just how much you love her.

Natalie Scatorccio:

Natalie's jealousy is explosive, and she definitely would not try just one tiny bit to hide it at all.

She wouldn't be afraid to confront the person making her jealous. And this girl's anger is not something you want to be directed at you (unless you're into it).

Because Nat's anger comes out in sharp words or her just being destructive.

If you’re being too friendly with someone else; she’ll lash out and tell you “why don’t you just go be with them, then?” — better grovel for her.

Since Nat has issues with being abandoned or betrayed, she'd probably pull back from you emotionally. Just becoming distant or reckless to protect herself from being hurt, especially by you.

Lottie Matthews:

Lottie's jealousy would just be strangely calm. Similar to Jackie and Shauna, she'd be pretty subtle about it.

Like, she'd just give off vibes that make the person making her jealous uncomfortable. Just thus quiet unnerving way of making them back off without saying a word.

With Lottie, I feel like you wouldn't even know she's jealous unless she tells you that herself or you just know her too well to know it.

If the person she's jealous of isn't backing off. One way or another, this girl will stir you away from that person no matter what.

She'll make certain stuff up so you go far from this person. Like someone needing you for something and so.

Laura Lee:

This girl would just be battling her jealousy! Like, she'd try so hard to suppress any feelings of jealousy because she sees them wrong.

But she still can't help it get to her sometimes. She'll feel sad, hurt when someone gets too close to you.

Like, she'll pray for strength and try her best to rationalize her feelings, but then it would still get to her and she'll end up saying stuff like “I guess I’m just not enough for you”

Laura Lee would feel guilty as hell when she's jealous, and when she ends up saying those words to you.

I feel like Laura Lee would be the type to go out of her way to be even kinder and more supportive to you when she feels jealous, just hoping that makes you choose her over anyone else because of how loving and faithful she is to you.

Misty Quigley:

Now this girl, you just don't make her jealous ever, okay? Misty’s jealousy is intense and can literally turn dangerous if it flares up through the skies.

When Misty is jealous, she’ll go to extreme lengths. From manipulating situations to outright sabotaging other people trying to get close with you, she will do anything to get rid of any competition.

This girl would manipulate you so much. Mostly painting herself as a wounded person who has no one else but you.

Misty doesn’t like sharing your attention with anyone else. So when you do, she'll become increasingly clingy and demanding of your time.

If you even start spending too much time with anyone else, she’ll guilt-trip you and say things like “don’t you care about me anymore?”

[willowcried]

KNEE DEEP IN THE PASSAGER SEAT !

18+ MDNI. just random thoughts/hcs of mine at 3am. english is not my first language.

⠀✶⠀ shauna is messy. she gets pussy drunk in seconds. holds your hips down and my girl doesn’t stop until she’s had enough. physical contact can soften her up though. caress her hair and face and you can convince her to slow down for a little bit, but she will take the chance to slide her fingers inside you just to still them immediately. you groan in frustration, "dont be such a tease." your fingers tighten around her brunette locks. she rolls her eyes, hiding the fact that she loved when you called her out like that. "or what? you’re gonna beg?"

⠀✶⠀ jackie is shy, hesitant. even if she’s done this a couple times already, she’s still going to take her time. kitten licks? oh, yeah, a bunch. but just when she’s getting started. once she’s confident enough, worked up due to your quiet whimpers, she will slowly wrap her arms around your thighs and make sure to rub her nose against your clit as she plays with your entrance.

“like that?” she looks up at you, a cocky smile in her pretty face.

“oh, god.” your head falls back, not being able to bare the eye contact.

“not god, baby. just me.”

⠀✶⠀ lottie is careful. she studies you. what turns her on is knowing how to press her buttons. she’ll never say it out loud but she’s so proud of herself when you writhe beneath her. you feel her lips curling up against your sensitive skin, it makes you smile too, the wet sounds she’s creating as she slides one hand up, reaching for yours.

she will hum, moan and groan against your cunt just to feel your thighs squeezing around her head.

“you okay up there, princess?”

⠀✶⠀ nat is hungry. she hasn’t stopped thinking about it since the first time she tasted you. she can be demanding at times, but, boy, she will beg you to let her eat you out.

she tilts her head, eyebrows raised, as she steps closer to you. “come on, doll—i’ll do that thing.” she tries again to convince you, sounding nonchalant, even though you can see how she slides her hands into her pockets to hide their shaking from you.

“you wanna eat me out at 9AM in the fucking changing rooms!?”

she shrugs, looking around. “well, i don’t see why not. no one here.” she smirks as the realization comes to you.

you crossed your arms around your chest, leaning your back against the lockers. “you drove us here earlier on purpose, you little shit.”

also, she totally leaves marks on your thighs and hips.

[nataliescatorccioapologist]

Exploring all of the main Yellowjackets ships (and what makes each of them so compelling)

In honor of everyone fighting about which ship is the best in this fandom, I wanted to do a rundown of each of the main Yellowjackets ships and why they are all so interesting and believable in their own ways. I am only going over the most popular ships in the fandom (romantic pairings with more than 100 written works on ao3), so sorry if some of your favorite rarepairs are missing! And if you’re looking for a post all about how these relationships are so cute and healthy, this isn’t it (except for maybe Taivan). I’m mostly going to talk about how toxic, tragic, and tumultuous they all are, because that’s what we’re actually here for.

Jackieshauna

Jackieshauna is all about possession (in the best, most homoerotically intense way). Their dynamic is fraught with contradictory feelings that somehow exist alongside each other. Shauna idolizes Jackie’s magnetic influence, but she is also deeply resentful of her. Shauna adores Jackie, but she’s also suffocated by her. She feels like can’t live without Jackie, but she also can’t stand living in her shadow anymore. Jackie cares deeply for Shauna, but she also needs to own her; she needs to be validated by her position of power over Shauna.

The queer subtext in their relationship is so strong that it almost doesn’t feel like subtext at all. From the longing stares and the constant, almost hypnotic closeness to the way they interact with each other, the line between platonic love and romantic obsession blurs to the point of becoming indistinguishable. Their entire dynamic reads like a suppressed, unspoken desire, with both women using Jeff (and Travis eventually) as a way of redirecting their intense feelings towards each other. Shauna’s betrayal with Jeff doesn’t just feel like a “best friend stole my boyfriend” situation—it feels like she wanted to be Jackie, to consume her, to get as close to her as possible. And Jackie’s reaction isn’t just about the betrayal; it’s about the fact that Shauna was hers, and suddenly, she’s not. Jackie is so devastated by the knowledge of Shauna sleeping with Jeff that she no longer believes in love and loses her will to live entirely.

Shauna’s grief over Jackie isn’t just guilt; it’s, once again, possession. She talks to Jackie’s frozen corpse, hallucinates their conversations, braids her hair, does her makeup, eats her ear. It’s as if, in death, Jackie becomes more hers than she ever was in life. I just can’t get enough of the line, “I don’t know where you end and I begin.” Shauna eating Jackie is the ultimate culmination of this. It’s an act of worship—taking Jackie into herself, keeping her close in the most visceral way possible. But it’s also an act of domination—Shauna, who spent so long being beneath Jackie, is now consuming her, overpowering her in a way she never could while Jackie was alive.

There are so many layers to Jackieshauna; it’s love, admiration, obsession, ownership, codependency, resentment, and jealousy all wrapped up into one severely intense relationship. Their story is so tragic because it’s full of unspoken things—words that were never said, feelings that were never acknowledged, and a love that was never fully realized until it was too late.

One word to describe them: Possession

Their best scene: Their last fight

"Did I force you to live in my shadow, Shauna? It must be hard being this jealous all the time. You're so fucking jealous of me you can barely breathe."

“Are you quoting Beaches at me right now?”

“No…”

"I'm not jealous of you, Jackie. I feel sorry for you. Because you're weak. And I think that deep down, you know it. I’m sure everyone at home is so fucking sad to be losing their perfect little princess, but they’ll never know how tragic and boring and insecure you really are, or how high school was the best your life was ever gonna get.”

Taivan

Taivan is a peak golden retriever/black cat ship. Van is the golden retriever: loyal, endlessly optimistic (even in the face of getting nearly fatally attacked by wolves), and always trying to bring humor and lightness to situations, even when things are at their worst. She’s playful, affectionate, and follows Taissa around with unwavering devotion, even when Taissa is pushing her away or making choices that Van doesn’t agree with. This loyalty extends to Taissa’s sleepwalking, as Van’s support of her never falters even when faced with a darker, more dangerous side of Tai.

Taissa, on the other hand, is the ultimate black cat: fiercely independent, emotionally guarded, and always trying to maintain control, even when she’s clearly struggling. She’s skeptical, calculated, and reluctant to accept things that don’t fit her worldview. This initially translates into her relationship with Van, as she doesn’t want to be vulnerable, but you can tell she feels such a deep love for Van that keeps drawing her back in; unable to hide this softer side of herself. Van softens Taissa in the best way, cracking open that hard shell and allowing Taissa’s vulnerability and warmth to reveal itself. The most telling moment of this is Taissa’s willingness to enter Lottie’s spiritual circle to support Van. For someone as practical, skeptical, and grounded as Taissa, this is a significant sacrifice of her usual hard-edged pragmatism. But her desire to be there for Van, to show up in a way that is vulnerable and supportive, speaks volumes about the way Van has brought out a warmth in her that no one else ever could. Taissa’s love for Van is not just a passive emotion—it’s an active, deliberate decision to let go of control. The fact that she does this for Van is a testament to just how deeply she cares. And the Doomcoming “I want to see you” scene? That girl loves Van with her entire being.

In the adult timeline, Tai and Van cope with what happened in the wilderness in opposite ways. Taissa obsessively looks to the future and refuses to look back, while Van remains stuck in the past, refusing to move on. When they reunite in Season 2, they’re able to meet somewhere in the middle; a collision of the past and present.

It is clear that these two will do anything for each other, whether it’s fighting off a pack of wolves, tying themselves to each other at night, or going on life-threatening expeditions just to support each other. They are devoted to each other in any form. I can't wait to see them fuck on a table in the adult timeline in S3.

One word to describe them: Devotion

Their best scene: I ❤️ you (in blood)

“This is how you’re choosing to say ‘I love you’ for the first time?”

“You’re kind of leaving me hanging here, lady…”

“I love you, too.”

Lottienat

Lottie and Nat are classic narrative foils. They contrast so sharply with one another, yet in those very contrasts lie hidden similarities that shape their dynamic. Natalie was raised in a trailer park while Lottie was raised in a mansion, but they both grew up lonely and neglected by the people who are supposed to love them. Both of them feel alone and unloved, but where Natalie learns to toughen up and rely solely on herself, Lottie begins to seek connection in something bigger than herself—spirituality and the Wilderness. Natalie is the pragmatist/skeptic while Lottie is the spiritual prophet, but they both want what's best for the group. Lottie and Nat are arguably the two most compassionate, empathetic survivors, but they wield this empathy in different ways (i.e. Lottie offering Travis hope that his brother is alive, Natalie offering support through the grieving process as she guides him towards accepting his brother is dead). Together, they are two halves of a whole, each offering something the other cannot.

Lottie is both Nat's salvation and her undoing. Lottie offers Natalie the hope, purpose, and sense of belonging that she so desperately craves in her lowest moments, but in doing so, she inadvertently sets in motion a chain of events that ultimately leads to Natalie’s emotional and physical destruction. When Natalie is more alone and outcasted than she has ever been in the wilderness after the card draw, Lottie grants her the title of the group’s new leader. With this new title, Nat finally receives the love and appreciation she has always needed, but she also receives the burden of being in charge of (and therefore responsible for the actions of) a group rapidly descending into darkness, only intensifying the guilt and trauma she lives with for the rest of her life. When Natalie is on the verge of suicide, Lottie rescues her and takes her to her wellness community, which leads to Nat discovering self-forgiveness but also places her on the path towards her untimely death.

Their dynamic is defined by Lottie reaching out, trying to hold Natalie, to nurture and protect her, while Natalie fights and resists. The hypnosis/sharing shack scene is so important. It's Nat finally surrendering to Lottie (and all that Lottie represents). It's Nat allowing herself to be held (thinking of the way she lays her head in Lottie's lap, and the way she and Lottie are embracing each other as they dance around the fire), to be vulnerable and receive the love and care she never thought she deserved. It's so tragic that Lottie begins to spiral again just as Nat is beginning to trust her.

There are so many great Lottienat moments: the hint of pre-crash banter in "You don't talk shit unless someone really deserves it", Natalie comforting Lottie in the middle of the night when they sleep in the cabin for the first time, "Did you read that on a fucking fortune cookie?", Lottie always offering Nat her blood, Lottie's "I just want you to be safe", the iconic bathtub truce scene, the coronation scene with Lottie kissing Nat's hand and Nat looking up at her with awe and tears in her eyes, Lottie keeping tabs on Nat over the years to make sure she's okay, kidnapping her before she could kill herself, Natalie regressing to her teen self in the sharing shack as she rests her head on Lottie's lap, Natalie's "I think it's time for you to stop resisting", and Lottie and Nat dancing together around the fire.

One word to describe them: Tension

Their best scene: The bathtub scene

"Good game, you fucking loser."

"You talking shit? You little bitch, you ended up with nil, the same as me. But fine, good game."

Lottielee

So much of Lottie’s life leading up to the plane crash was about shame and self-confinement. Her father made her afraid of her own mind, and she spent much of her youth suppressing herself through medications and a socially acceptable mask. Laura Lee is the first person to accept Lottie as she truly is. She’s the first person to offer Lottie an alternative to her father’s control. Where Lottie has only known repression and self-doubt, Laura Lee provides a safe space where Lottie is believed. Not only does Laura Lee offer Lottie validation—she offers her a sanctuary for expression. She’s not afraid of Lottie’s abilities or her spirituality; she sees it as a part of who Lottie is, something to be embraced rather than suppressed. Lottie’s relationship with Laura Lee is foundational to her entire character; her psyche, her self-identity, her motivations going forward, and her path in life. Laura Lee helps Lottie develop an assertiveness and confidence she had not been able to access before, which in turn allows her to ascend to the extremely influential figure she ends up becoming.

I think so much can be said about the importance of touch in their relationship. Holding each other’s hands to guide each other, embracing each other, placing a hand on the other’s chest and holding it there. Laura Lee provides a gentleness/tenderness in her touch that Lottie has been craving her whole life. The act of placing a hand on the chest is particularly significant. When Laura Lee touches Lottie in this way, it is a moment of emotional anchoring. The chest is where the heart is, where one’s truest self can be felt and expressed. To have someone touch you there with reverence is a profound act of acceptance and recognition. And this is something that stays with Lottie, becoming an integral part of her spiritual practices. When Lottie offers this kind of touch to others, she’s not just comforting them; she’s offering the same acceptance and safety that she first received from Laura Lee. It’s a form of healing, of passing on the love and belief that Laura Lee gave her, a way for Lottie to channel her strength into others and to demonstrate the kind of acceptance she once craved.

Lottielee is about nurturance and sustenance. I love the absolute awe on their faces when they look at each other. In a way, they have faith in and worship each other.

Laura Lee’s death is extremely impactful and devastating to Lottie, so much so that she still sees Laura Lee’s ghost even 25 years later. Echoes of Laura Lee exist in everything Lottie does.

One word to describe them: Acceptance

Their best scene: The lake baptism

"I saw fire— a light."

"That's the holy spirit, you've been touched."

Mistynat

This ship has got to be the most hilarious out of any on the show. On paper, it makes absolutely no sense. Natalie is dark, brooding, cynical, and emotionally guarded to the point of being downright cold in the adult timeline. She has carefully curated an emotional armor; an air of detachment and apathy that she uses to maintain distance from anyone that could possibly become close to her. In contrast, Misty is a perpetual ray of sunshine—a walking bundle of overzealous energy and bubbly optimism wrapped in frilly, vintage-inspired cat sweaters. She's needy, socially unaware, and often acts out of a desperate desire for affection and validation. Their personalities, seemingly at odds, create a rich, almost absurd juxtaposition that makes their interactions fascinating to watch.

At the heart of their relationship is a shared sense of longing. Both Natalie and Misty crave connection and appreciation, but they have no idea how to foster it in healthy, meaningful ways. Both of them have been deeply isolated throughout their lives, though for different reasons. Natalie’s isolation stems from her trauma. She doesn't feel worthy of love and she's afraid of hurting people, so she keeps everyone at arm’s length, often sabotaging any potential for intimacy. Misty, on the other hand, is isolated by her intense neediness and socially awkward tendencies. She becomes overbearing and obsessive, constantly seeking affection in ways that alienate others. This creates such an interesting dynamic when the two are together, as Misty is obsessively pouring all of her loyalty and energy into Nat, while Nat is constantly pushing her away and struggling to maintain a safe distance between them.

While Mistynat is definitely stronger on Misty's end than Nat's, I think you can see the soft spot Nat has for Misty. Nat is begrudgingly charmed by her. Christina Ricci has said that she thinks Natalie was the only one to show any kindness towards Misty growing up, and I couldn't agree more. There are moments when Natalie shows a surprising level of affection and understanding toward Misty, even if it's fleeting or passive. Nat protects Misty from Shauna after Shauna punches her ("It's not her fault! Misty did everything she could!"), she appears genuinely happy to see Misty at the reunion, and the line "We're all like this, aren't we?" is Nat realizing how alike she and Misty are; how they share the same trauma.

It is so heartbreaking that Misty, who saw herself as Nat's greatest protector and most loyal follower, was ultimately the one to kill her. And it will also be so heartbreaking to see Misty's obsession with Nat extend to her wearing Nat's clothing and taking on her persona in Season 3 as a way of remaining close to her. Here's to seeing more of them in the teen timeline this season!

One word to describe them: Unpredictable

Their best scene: Misty snorting Nat’s coke

"Misty! Get off my coke! Oh my god you're possessed!"

Lottieshauna

Lottie is the only one to truly understand and embrace Shauna (even the darkest, most suppressed parts of herself). While she has other close relationships on the show, they all accept only a portion of Shauna (the portion they’re comfortable with, the portion that doesn’t feel dangerous, the portion that Shauna displays to others because she knows it won’t scare them away). Jeff, Jackie, and even Taissa can’t fully comprehend the depth of Shauna’s rage, the thrill she gets from danger, her desperate need to be seen, or the fact that she wants an outlet for the violent impulses she keeps buried. But with Lottie, Shauna can be her full, unfiltered self.

Lottie doesn’t just accept Shauna’s darkness—she encourages it. She doesn’t flinch from the things that would make others recoil. When Shauna is discovered to be talking to Jackie’s corpse in the meat shed, Lottie is the only one to extend empathy and understanding to Shauna. She covers up the piece cut out of Jackie’s arm and gives Shauna Jackie’s necklace because she knows that it’s what Shauna needs. After the death of Shauna’s baby, Lottie risks her life to allow Shauna to take her rage (and her intense grief) out on her. In the adult timeline, Lottie’s goat trust exercise (not sure what else to call it lol) is what makes Shauna realize how she has been keeping the people she loves at arm’s length; and it is what lays the groundwork for true healing. Lottie always understands what Shauna needs.

Shauna initially resists Lottie’s influence, but as the story progresses, you can see her slowly being drawn in to her web. I think there’s something thrilling for Shauna to be seen and accepted for her true self (instead of all of the masks she puts on to be what others want her to be). Their connection is one of shared experience, unspoken understanding, and the potential for something both destructive and healing.

One word to describe them: Cathartic

Their best scene: The beatdown

"Shauna, I know there's a lot of pain right now, but let it out. Shauna, we need you, let it out."

Travnat

There’s only room for one heterosexual ship on this list, and that is undoubtedly going to be Natalie and Travis. Travnat is tragic, toxic, and narratively doomed in all of the best ways. Travis and Natalie are two people who cannot help but destroy themselves and each other. Nat and Travis are birds of a feather, which means they have a deep understanding of each other (an understanding they have never received from anyone else), but it also means they have a mutual capacity for self-destruction.

When Travis lashes out after his father’s death, Natalie sees herself. She recognizes that rage, that despair. It’s something that no one else in the group can fully understand or sympathize with, because they haven’t been through the same kind of loss and alienation. But Natalie does understand, and she is the only one who offers him any kind of empathy or care initially. Even when Travis resists, when he pushes her away, she remains steadfast, because, deep down, she knows exactly what it feels like to be abandoned in your pain, to have no one who understands the depth of your grief. It’s this shared history of suffering that makes their connection so strong, yet so toxic. It’s not just about comfort—it’s about two people who have never been allowed to heal properly, and who are only capable of hurting each other as a result. They have the same coping methods: numbing and distraction (whether that be through drugs, sex, or reckless behavior), which causes them to spiral and relapse into their old habits whenever they reconnect.

Natalie describes Travis as "my best friend, the only person I ever loved, the only person who ever really knew me." There is no denying that these two have a deep love for each other. In their light, playful moments in Season 1, you can see what might have been if they had connected before the plane crash. But now they have gone through so much of the same trauma that there is no way for them to be around each other without reminding each other of their shared pain. Nat is a constant reminder to Travis of the loss of his little brother, and Travis is a constant reminder to Nat of the intense guilt of what she did to survive out there. Despite this, they attempt to take care of each other over the course of 25 years. There’s a tragic dance between them: they push each other away, only to pull each other back in, over and over again. The more they try to heal each other, the more they wound one another, and this constant tug-of-war between love and destruction is what makes their relationship so compelling.

One word to describe them: Trauma-bond

Their best scene: Post-Doomcoming hug

"I'm so sorry, I didn't want to. I fucking love you, Natalie."

Jackienat

On an outward, surface level, Natalie and Jackie are polar opposites. Jackie is the classic queen bee—privileged, popular, and used to being admired. Natalie, on the other hand, is the rebellious outcast, rough around the edges and unwilling to conform. The ‘queen bee’ and the ‘burnout’. The ‘prude’ and the ‘slut’. Jackie cares too much, Natalie doesn’t care enough. But, in actuality, these are the cliche labels that have been placed on them/assigned to them by external sources. These are the false fronts they put on to hide the vulnerability underneath. Nat and Jackie are actually much more similar than either of them would probably care to admit.

At the core of their conflicts is jealousy. Jackie envies Natalie's ability to be carefree and unapologetically herself (you can hear genuine admiration in her compliment to Nat, “I love that you don’t care what anyone else thinks. You are so completely yourself). Jackie, for all her outward confidence, is constantly performing the version of herself that others expect, and she longs for the kind of authenticity that Natalie seems to embody. On the other hand, Natalie is jealous of the life Jackie represents—privilege, stability, being adored without having to fight for it. But they’re both deeply insecure in ways that mirror each other. Jackie isn’t as effortlessly perfect as everyone believes, and Natalie isn’t as indifferent as she pretends to be. They are both trapped by expectations, and neither of them truly feels like they belong.

If circumstances had been different, I think they would have actually been very close. Their humor is actually similar—sharp, a little sarcastic, but often disarming. They’re both sarcastic, raspy-voiced little shits and I would have loved to see them play off of each other a little more. My personal headcanon for these two is that they actually used to be very close friends when they were little but grew apart in middle school/high school due to societal expectations. Maybe Jackie used to be more carefree before she learned she had to be perfect, and maybe Natalie used to be softer before she learned no one would protect her. There was no huge falling out, they were just gradually pulled apart over time, placed into their respective roles, and now there’s a part of both of them that quietly misses the other but also feels like the version of themselves that once connected with each other is gone. They just don’t understand each other anymore.

And Nat being the one to lay Jackie’s bones to rest? Rejecting Travis’ offer to come with her so that she could have a moment alone with Jackie to pay her respects, release her jealousy, and apologize? Nat being the one to take Jackie’s position of leadership in the group (the queen bee) after she’s gone? Tragic.

They are the perfect enemies to lovers trope (or, in my opinion, friends to enemies to lovers) that unfortunately will never come to fruition.

One word to describe them: Jealousy

Their best scene: Nat apologizes to Jackie's bones

"You're lucky, you know? I think shit is going to get a lot worse out here. But you're already dead so, way to make everyone jealous of you one last time. I'm sorry, for what we did. Who knows, maybe you could be the reason we survive the winter, so thanks. Rest in peace, Jackie."

—

And if you’re interested, the most-written romantic pairings on ao3 at the time of making this post are as follows: Shauna Shipman/Jackie Taylor (1,564 works), Lottie Matthews/Natalie Scatorccio (1,202 works), Van Palmer/Taissa Turner (1,019 works), Laura Lee/Lottie Matthews (396 works), Misty Quigley/Natalie Scatorccio (258 works), Natalie Scatorccio/Jackie Taylor (185 works), Lottie Matthews/Shauna Shipman (182 works), and Travis Martinez/Natalie Scatorccio (120 works).

[shaunamilfman]

after midnight

pairing: jackieshauna x reader summary: You get a little too drunk at a party and end up kissing Jackie Taylor, who you mistook for someone else. Just to make sure that Shauna isn't too mad at you, you kiss her too. note: yeah, based off that twitter post.

You focus all of your attention on the ceiling fan, watching as the blades blur together in an endless loop. You’re strangely mesmerized by the action, letting yourself be drawn into it in the hopes it’ll distract you from your pounding headache or the anxious feeling in your chest. The sound of Nat clattering around in the kitchen breaks your concentration, slowly drawing your attention back to reality.

With a pained groan, you finally drag yourself out of bed, stumbling to your bathroom knowing that at least one of the things bothering you had a simple solution. You blindly reach into the medicine cabinet, briefly glancing at the bottle before dry swallowing the pills that will be your salvation from your headache. 

You lean against the sink with a sigh of relief, looking at yourself in the mirror before quickly looking away. God, you looked like shit. 

A sudden realization dawns on you, a sinking feeling filling your stomach as you slowly look back at your reflection. You turn your head to the side, your eyes widening as you catch sight of the unmistakable traces of lipstick along your neck.

You fumble around for a rag, drawing Nat’s attention from the kitchen as you knock a few bottles off the counter.

“Hey?” she calls out, unaware of your turmoil as you scrub at your neck to get the mark off.

“Hey,” you answer, hesitant and unsure as you take one last look in the mirror before joining her in the kitchen.

She grins as she catches sight of you, a quick flick of her eyes up and down your disheveled form before she slides a cup of coffee across the counter towards you without a word. You’re quick to grab it, almost downing it in your haste to get something, anything, in your stomach. 

The memory of last night hangs over you like a fog, each moment shrouded in uncertainty and a lingering feeling that you’d fucked something up. If only you could remember it. You’d woken up with a bitter taste on your tongue, serving as a stark reminder of your excess from the night before. You knew better than to drink like that, knew it always got you in trouble, but you figured you just needed a little courage and then… 

Then everything fell apart.

You were surprised to find yourself still in one piece this morning, so you supposed it hadn’t been a complete disaster. The text you had woken up to did a lot to assuage your nerves, but it was the lipstick stain on your neck that had you sure that the night had actually gone well. You weren’t quite sure how you pulled it off, but you quickly decided a win was a win. 

Now your problem was just piecing together how the night ended.

“So?” Nat prompts, drawing your attention as you warm your hands on the quickly cooling cup. “How did it go?”

“Funny you ask that, actually,” you begin, the words tumbling out in a rush as you brace yourself for her reaction.

Nat groans, propping her head up on her hands as she looks you over. “What's that mean?” She sounds interested despite herself. 

“So I may or may not be dating Jackie and Shauna now.”

She's quiet for a long moment, her jaw dropped as she processes the news. “What the fuck? How?” she finally manages to sputter, her voice tinged with incredulity.

“So I got, like, really drunk last night–” 

“I remember,” Nat says wryly. 

“Right. Well, you know how me and that girl from my math class have had this thing going on–” 

“I'm not seeing what this has to do with Jackie and Shauna.”

“If you would just let me finish…”

…

You finish what's left in your cup before leaving it on the table, looking around for her familiar jacket before you find her. 

Bingo. You spot her off further in, her denim jacket and blonde hair catching the dim light. It seemed a little darker than usual, honestly, but you figured it was just the light. You take a deep breath and try to steady your shaking hands before just stuffing them in your pockets. Now or never.

This wasn’t the most well thought out idea, you knew that, but it was definitely the best one you had. Toss a few drinks back and get enough courage to finally kiss Jenny from your math class. Easy enough in theory, right? She told you to come find her at the party, practically insisted on it really, but you were still so fucking nervous at the thought of it. The thought of her smile, and the way she always looked at you in class, gave you just enough courage to push through the crowd to find her.

You call out her name as you weave through throngs of partygoers, but the music plays so loud you’re not sure if she can even hear you or not. As you reach her, you take a deep breath before putting your hand on her shoulder and spinning her around. Was she a little shorter than usual? Whatever. Before you can second guess yourself, you lean forward and kiss her.

She makes a squeaking noise as you do, her hands slapping against your shoulders as she pushes you away. You stumble backward and nearly fall on your ass, a little offended as you look at her. 

Jackie stares up at you with smeared lipstick and wide-eyes as the gravity of the situation slowly dawns on you. Oh God, that was Jackie Taylor. You just kissed Jackie Taylor and Shauna Shipman was going to kill you. You were too young to die.

That definitely wasn’t Jenny. You’d definitely had one too many if you thought that Jackie looked anything like the girl from your math class.

“What the fuck?” Shauna spits, her jaw clenched and her hands balled up in a fist. She grabs a fist full of your shirt, pulling you towards her as she gets up in your face. You can smell the alcohol on her breath as she gets near, a mix of malibu and rage.

You try to stutter out an apology, but the words keep catching in your throat. It feels like your tongue just won’t cooperate with you, leaving you defenseless in your time of need. Her grip on your shirt tightens, her knuckles turning white as she gives you the meanest look you’ve ever seen another person make that wasn’t a TV serial killer.

“Shauna–” Jackie tries, stepping forward and putting a hand on her arm, but Shauna’s too mad to even entertain her.

“Did you seriously just do that in front of me?” Shauna’s so mad she can barely speak, the disbelief on her face saying more than words ever could. Her eyes are so intense, a fire burning behind them that makes you wish you could disappear.

“You’re unbelievable.” Shauna’s voice is low and dangerous, and you can feel the heat of her anger radiating off her. You can’t think of any way to get out of this situation without getting burned.

Unless…

You make a split second decision as you lunge forward at Shauna. This was a fucking disaster, but man would you have one hell of a story if you could live to tell it.

… 

“... and that's when I realized that I just kissed Jackie Taylor.”

“Holy shit, dude!” Nat laughs, her expression an equal mix of pride and amusement. 

“God. I know,” you groan, burying your head in your hands as you flush in embarrassment. 

“So what happened next?”

“So Shauna's got a fistful of my shirt, right? I'm realizing that, holy shit, she's about to beat my ass. So I do the only thing I can do.”

“What's that?

“Well…” 

… 

You lunge forward and kiss Shauna too, catching her by surprise. She’s frozen solid as you press your lips together, and for an instant you think she’s just going to punch you anyway. Shauna’s hand releases your shirt in surprise, her hands flailing for a moment before reaching up and resting on the side of your head. 

You’d read in a Wikipedia article once during a time of late-night procrastinating that it was virtually impossible for a human to snap someone else’s neck, but if anyone was capable of that, it would definitely be Shauna Shipman. Much to your surprise, you don’t end up dead on the floor; instead, her surprisingly soft hands cup your face with more gentleness than you thought she was capable of.

It’s nothing like the quick kiss you’d shared with Jackie; she’s aggressive and intense. Every movement is met with a swift reaction, as if she takes it as a challenge. Her lips are soft and taste like strawberry lip-gloss and you idly wonder whether it belonged to her or Jackie originally.

She bites at your lip hard as the kiss ends, enough that you’re sure she’s broken the skin. You can feel the sting of it long after she’s backed away, sharing a look with Jackie that you’re too much in shock to pay attention to. You’re left reeling, trying to process the rapid turn of events even though you’d been mostly responsible for them.

You manage to sneak a glance at Shauna, figuring that at least you would see it coming when she inevitably broke your nose. She gives you a dark look, and it’s hard to tell whether she’s flustered or angry.

“Shauna,” Jackie chides. “You don’t have to be so rough with her. She’s not going anywhere.” 

Shauna’s tense posture relaxes slightly at Jackie’s words, but not fully. They seem to have a conversation with nothing but their expressions, something that you weren’t fully privy to. 

Without a word spoken to you, Jackie steps forward and kisses you again. It’s better this time, more deliberate than the quick peck you’d managed before. It felt reassuring, a tenderness that your kiss with Shauna was sorely lacking. Her arms come up to rest behind your shoulders, pulling you chest-to-chest as she kisses you so gently you almost want to cry.

You can practically feel the weight of Shauna’s eyes on you, but it doesn’t seem nearly as heavy as it did before: less threatening, and more curiosity. Her gaze is unwavering as she assesses the situation, stepping closer toward you and leaving you caught between the two of them as your mind races.

Jackie breaks the kiss slowly, giggling as she has to press a hand against your shoulder to stop you from trying to chase after her. She’s close enough that your breath is mingling together, pulling just far away enough to speak as she gives Shauna a knowing look. “See? It doesn’t have to be a fight every time.”

“She’s okay, isn’t she?” Shauna asks, the question posed more as a challenge than any real attempt at concern. Her eyes search yours, trying to find out what you’re thinking without having to actually ask. You nod slightly, giving her the permission she seems to seek. She’s just as formidable as ever, but this time her approach is slower. More deliberate.

“Yeah,” you mutter simply, nodding dumbly as Jackie tuts and pulls your attention back on her with a single finger on your chin.

Shauna huffs, finally closing the distance between you as she presses up against your back. “Good,” she whispers, her lips brushing your ear as she speaks.

Jackie rests her hand behind your neck as she pulls you into another kiss, somehow more demanding than the last. You can’t help but melt into it, immediately responding to the touch. Shauna laughs softly behind you, pressing a kiss against Jackie’s fingers before she finds her way to the side of your neck.

The two of them together are intense, overwhelming in a way that leaves you utterly breathless and lagging a half-second behind. It’s almost too much, but you can’t bring yourself to pull away for anything.

Shauna bites down gently, just enough to leave a mark. You gasp, the sound swallowed by Jackie’s lips. 

“Relax,” Jackie murmurs.

Then everything after that is a blur.

… 

“... I kissed Shauna too.”

Nat laughs so hard she nearly falls out of her chair. She manages to get out a few words in between peels of near hysterical laughter. “You kissed Shauna? Are you insane?” 

“Honestly, probably. I certainly felt like it at the time, Nat. But here’s the crazy part: she freezes, and for a second it’s like time stops, but then she kisses me back!”

“No fucking way Shauna Shipman kissed you.”

“Look, I know! That’s what I was thinking too,” You snicker, shaking your head. “So there I am, kissing Shauna and waiting for her to come to my senses with Jackie’s lipstick still on my lips. But then I pull back and see Jackie standing there just staring with this look of… I don’t know, I can’t even name it.”

“And?”

“So, Jackie says something to Shauna that I couldn’t quite make out and they just kind of nodded and before I knew it, Jackie was all over me too.”

Nat’s jaw drops as she leans forward to look at you. “Jackie too?”

“Jackie too,” you confirm. “Yeah, but it gets weirder. See, Jackie pulls away to look at Shauna again and there’s this moment where I’m like ‘Well, now they’re going to kill me together.’ But then they both just kind of smile at me?”

Nat breathes out slowly, eyes wide with shock. “What does that even mean?”

“I have no idea. I know something must have happened after that, but it’s all blurry after that. All the booze caught up to me.”

“What makes you think you’re dating them, then? It seems like you just got a lucky break that Shauna wasn’t close enough to a knife to stab your dumb ass.”

“See, that’s what I would think to,” you say, pulling out your phone as you scroll through your messages. “But I woke up this morning to a text in a group chat all like ‘hope you get home safe, babe.’” 

You hold the phone up for Nat to see, and she quickly snatches it from you as she looks through it. Her eyes scan the screen, her disbelief slowly turning into astonishment.

“Holy shit,” she mutters, slowly scrolling through the chat. “They both texted you. Jackie even sent you a selfie of her and Shauna together with a ‘we missed you at breakfast’ caption.”

“What?” You ask, leaning forward to read over Nat’s shoulder. That one was new– you must’ve gotten it while you were talking to Nat.

“I don’t even remember leaving?” You mutter.

“This is unreal,” Nat says, handing you your phone back as she lazes back in the chair. “You better figure your shit out before Jackie gets her feelings hurt.”

“Yeah,” you breathe out. “No kidding.”

You bite your lip before quietly admitting, “I kind of like it.”

Nat snorts, shaking her head slowly.

[gorgeys]

jackieshauna x fem!reader smut blurb!!

600 words i'm only on yj s1 but i couldn't stop myself from writing this...

lying in between jackie and shauna on jackie's bed feels like a dream.

jackie's delicate hands tug at your shirt, pulling you over to her side for a feverish kiss.  she kisses you desperately and with every fiber of her being almost like you're going to run away if she doesn't act quick enough.  her warm hands eventually find their way underneath your shirt and tug it over your head with one sharp jerk.

shauna uses the distance between the two of you to grab your face and turn it toward her.  she pulls you into a kiss that's much slower, but just as intense.  she holds you by the back of your head, nails digging into your scalp and tangling in your hair, while she sucks roughly on your bottom lip.  you're dazed by the time you feel jackie pressing herself into your back, her fingers creeping around your waist to unbutton your jeans and slide them down your hips.

before you know it, you're left stark naked in between them while they remain fully clothed.  you eagerly spread your legs for them and their hands seem magnetically attracted to your pussy.

jackie rubs your clit in tight circles while sucking on your tit, teeth grazing your nipple every so often.  she looks up at you through it all, her eyes full of desperation and unable to leave the beautiful contortions of your face.  she feels herself soaking through her own panties watching your jaw slack and your eyebrows scrunch.

"you look so pretty," she sweetly murmurs into your skin before leaving a soft kiss at the base of your neck.

shauna on the other hand has her eyes glued to your pussy.  she's lying on her side, propped up by her elbow, mesmerized by how her fingers disappear into your cunt.  you can hear her cursing under her breath when she curls her fingers and feels your walls clench around them.

"yeah, you like that don't you?" she says with a satisfied smile.  the incoherent sounds you respond with leave her head spinning and her other hand subconsciously dancing along your neck.  "she's so good for us, jackie."

jackie hums, now nibbling at your chest.  your hand tangles in her hair and she feels like she might cum on the spot.

"she's perfect," jackie practically whines, memorizing the way you mewl at her comment.

it doesn't take long for you to near your release, jackie's fast motions on your clit and shauna's fingers filling you up becoming way too much for you too handle. while one hand is still in jackie's hair, the other wraps around shauna's arm as she plunges her fingers even deeper and faster than before.

when you're finally cumming, your grip on the both of them tightens and your back involuntarily arches off the bed.  the loud, lewd moan that leaves your lips satisfies both of them.

"oh my god," jackie whispers, her eyes rolling back from just watching you, while shauna grins like a madman.  you swear you even hear a quiet "good girl" leave shauna's lips.

sharing the same brain, they both bring their fingers to their lips and suck the cum off of them once you've finally come down from your high.

your head still thrown back against the pillow, jackie and shauna exchange a glance of raw excitement.  they're thinking the exact same thing.

shauna's hand finds your bare stomach before she breaks the silence.

"y'think you can do that again for us?"

[lottiesgrl]

I hope your the right blog to send this to but can you do your headcanons of having sex with a completely feral shauna in the wilderness? How she fucks hard and rough, and how she likes to bite you like a wolf holding its pray still. ( bonus points if Lottie’s the one who’s shaunas fucking 🤭)

𝗶 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗮 𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗶𝗺𝗮𝗹

summary: drabbles about having sex with feral shauna

cw: heeavy nsfw, biting (r!receiving), scratching (both receiving), oral (r!receiving), vague strap on usage (r!receiving), fingering (r!receiving), primal dynamics, roleplay, general filth and smut

an: i usually don't put comments on my fics but this was right up my alley and WHEEEW. i enjoyed writing this one. wrote this all while listening to romeo's daddy by ethel cain so i linked it below for the best reading experience 😇 happy new year y'all

: ̗̀➛ you had already known that shauna had a tendency to be rough during sex, but you had no idea how intense it would get the longer the two of you spent isolated in the wilderness

: ̗̀➛ the first sign that something was changing was in the way that she held you. when she dug her nails into your skin, her grip was so tight that it was almost painful, crescent indents forming in your skin. you didn't mind the pain - if anything, you found it hot

: ̗̀➛ this is especially true whenever she catches one of the girls even looking at you in a funny way. you've always known her to be mildly possessive, but she would usually just sulk away, simmering in her insecurities until you'd reassure her that she was the only one you wanted, not anyone else. but now?

: ̗̀➛ now, shauna's jealousy is fiery. it's angry and red-hot, and the second she catches someone's eyes lingering on your body for too long, her fingers will curl around your thighs and grab at the flesh so that everyone can see

: ̗̀➛ she especially loves to feel the way your flesh molds around her hands when she's fucking you. when you take it from behind, she's got your hips in a vice grip, grabbing you and pulling you back in time with her thrusts. you're sure that there'll be bruises from where her fingertips pressed into your skin

: ̗̀➛ speaking of bruises, shauna absolutely loves to leave her mark on you any way that she can. whether it be fingerprints on your skin, hickeys all over your neck, or bite marks along your collarbone, she can't get enough

: ̗̀➛ her and biting oh my lord... she is a biter. she loves the way that your skin feels around her teeth, and she'll bite any inch of skin that's exposed

: ̗̀➛ going back to what i said about taking it from behind, she loves having you right where she wants you. when she fucks you from the back, she'll have a hand around your neck, tilting your head back, and her teeth will dig into the place where your neck meets your collarbone

: ̗̀➛ all about messy and nasty sex. she's sooo messy when she goes down on you, spit everywhere - all over your thighs, your stomach, and most importantly, your cunt

: ̗̀➛ she'll switch between kissing and biting your thighs as she makes her way up to your pussy, arms wrapped around them to make sure that there's no way you can escape from the pleasure she's about to bring you

: ̗̀➛ her hands force your thighs apart when they try to close around her fingers or her head, growling at you to "be fucking patient", while she continues to tease you and make you beg

: ̗̀➛ and shauna growling at you? yes. the words are coming from somewhere deep inside her chest, somewhere raw and primal and animalistic, and every time she growls in her ear you can feel a wave of arousal shoot through you. she chuckles low in her throat whenever she's fingering you and she can feel you gush when she growls

: ̗̀➛ SCRATCHING WITH SHAUNA. she's so turned on whenever she's fucking into you and she can feel your fingers raking down her skin leaving angry red lines in their wake

: ̗̀➛ she's a scratcher herself, running her nails up and down your chest hard enough for it to leave a mark. it starts as mindless groping and turns into her leaving scratches all over your chest and your stomach, something to remind you of her even after the two of you are done

: ̗̀➛ if you'd allow her, she'd 100% love the idea of a more primal dynamic or roleplay. it thrills her so much to chase after you, knife in hand, knowing that once she catches you, you'll be hers

: ̗̀➛ you're running from her and panting both from exhaustion and excitement, your pussy absolutely throbbing with every step you take. she's always been ridiculously fast, and it takes no time at all for her to catch up to you and tackle you

: ̗̀➛ you're both panting as she presses her knife to her throat, leaning in to kiss you. it's so messy and you can feel the cold metal of the blade and the wet earth around you and lord, it's so hot

: ̗̀➛ begging her not to hurt you and you can see a shine in her eyes as she quickly fumbles with your clothes to get you undressed and get her fingers in between your thighs

: ̗̀➛ who doesn't love a woman who's batshit insane?

[rose-without-thorn]

I think about this scene and "Jackie likes Poppies" a lot.

Jeff’s note seems to imply that he and Shauna were already hooking up, but her response makes me wonder what other advice she might have given him to help win over Jackie.

As Jackie's best friend, did she play Cyrano and help set them up? We know from the bedroom flashback that Jackie asked for her help early on, but what if she went further and guided Jeff through the early stages of dating?

After all, no one knew Jackie better than Shauna. So Jeff likely would've asked for help winning her over, and whether out of guilt or jealousy or both, Shauna agreed to help him.

I love the thought of picking out gifts for Jackie and planning dates she knows Jackie will enjoy, maybe even writing love letters and signing them as Jeff. To the extent that she's aware of her own feelings, the only socially acceptable way she can date Jackie herself is by proxy.

But more likely, she'd tell herself (and Jeff) that she's just being a good friend, and trying to make up for all the times she's been a bad friend. Jackie deserves the boyfriend of her dreams, and she'll do what it takes to turn Jeff into that boyfriend, even if it means doing everything herself.

Anyway, I tried writing this as a fanfic a little while back, but it turned out too sad, and I struggled to finish it. Maybe I will get back to it, but for now, I wanted to share the thought at least.

[shaunashpmn]

i find shauna and callie’s relationship so fascinating because i don’t entirely think shauna DOES see callie as jackie. i think she does a little, but more in the sense that she feels like she should be responsible for callie, but she can never quite do it right - same as with jackie. i think the main cause of their relationship being so tough is the wilderness baby. shauna physically can’t let herself get attached to callie because she doesn’t trust that she’s sticking around. it’s partly mental but also partly physical (ppd, ptsd etc). shauna never fully recovered from jackie, never really removed her from life in the way you usually do with someone who’s passed and so when she had callie, to shauna that was under the exact same circumstances as wb because she was still taking jeff from jackie and having a baby with her best friend+’s boyfriend.

as for the party scene, there’s definitely two factors - callie bears some physical resemblance to jackie (teenage girl, thin, midlength hair, big eyes) and is also wearing jackie’s uniform. shauna KNOWS it’s jackie’s uniform she’s seeing, and she KNOWS she hallucinates jackie, so the obvious presumption is (as she says) “jackie?”. we see her get angry with callie when she realises that she’s not jackie, which is think pretty much sums up their relationship.

shauna doesn’t see callie as jackie - she sees callie as the version of jackie that she could have been, the version of her firstborn that he could have been, except that the capacity of love and trust she had for both of them is gone and callie is just too late and just not the real thing.