#for example the nicest person i know is my dad

[newwavesylviaplath]

i think some of us are forgetting that humans are multifaceted beings. i keep seeing people saying that him going out/potentially cheating with sutton automatically makes him a bad dad and horrible person that treated deb like shit along with a whole more slew of accusations on his character. if his relationship with sutton really did from an affair, that's shitty. it doesn't mean he's the worst ever. we don't know this person. from all accounts he is the nicest man in hollywood. maybe it's just my upbringing but i don't think we need to string him up. you don't have to like him anymore obviously. i just think it's ridiculous that one wrong move gets people who claimed to be your fans rallying against you. idk i know for my mother for example cheated on one of her partners years ago and im close with others who have been on both sides in similar situations aswell. the reason i bring this up is because we can recognize that people make mistakes no matter how old they are. i just don't think we should be discrediting everything hugh has ever done to the point where we are calling him a shitty parent and saying he is 'abandoning his kids like his mother did to him'. that is an objectively INSANE statement to make about a man you have never met before. idk i think some of us need to realize that people doing something terrible doesn't undo every good action they've done.

[thekittyburger]

I'm seeing a lot of negativity on here that I thought was usually reserved for twitter so I just want to say,

Just because you're a man, it doesn't mean you're a monster. This goes for all cis men, trans men, other queer men, men of colour, religious or not, old or young etc.

You're still valued <3

[naughtyneganjdm]

Threads of Desire: A Christmas to Remember - Chapter 1

Summary: After dreaming of becoming a big time fashion designer, Y/N finds herself miserable working under her best friend Maggie Greene after being in her shadow for years. Maggie has everything that she ever wanted. The job she always longed for and she's dating the man of her dreams, Negan Smith. Christmas time is said to be the most magical time of the year. Will she finally escape Maggie's shadow and get everything she ever wanted or will she realize that life may have been perfect all along with her loyal friend Daryl Dixon at her side?

Characters: (in chapter 1) Negan Smith, the reader (OC), Maggie Greene, etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/61111030/chapters/156141661

Warnings: Alternate universe, swearing, angst, third person reader, female reader, reader wants to be a fashion designer, New York City is where they live, Maggie is kind of a bitch in this (sorry Maggie fans), dad Negan, Christmas Themed, etc.

Notes: This Christmas story is going to be a little different than my past ones. The two main love interests in this story are Negan and Daryl. This might draw some Neggie shippers and I do want to warn you while Negan and Maggie are together in this, their relationship isn't the healthiest. I want to put that out there ahead of time. Plus, Maggie isn't the nicest of people in this story. Pre-warning.

Y/N as always meaning your name or whatever name you want to put in for this story! Thanks for checking it out! I will try to update this as often as possible on days that I don't post Love's Second Chance.

Most people strive to have the job of their dreams. A job where you could go and a full days’ worth of work would feel like nothing because you loved what you were doing that much. That was supposed to be the case for Y/N. After going to school for years to be a fashion designer, this was promised to be the job that she had always dreamt about. That’s at least what her best friend Maggie had promised her when she took the job. Maggie and Y/N had gone to school together. Even though the two of them were very different, they seemed to make good friends. At least that’s what Y/N tried to tell herself all the time. A lot of people had actually questioned how Y/N continued to have a friendship with Maggie because others viewed it as a one-sided friendship. People claimed Maggie was self-centered and selfish where Y/N would do absolutely anything for her, but it wouldn’t go both ways.

Of course Y/N would always defend Maggie. Suggesting that people didn’t know Maggie like she did. And she always used this job for example as to why Maggie was a good friend. There was often a few key details that she would leave out. That was because she knew that if she told anyone about it, they would insist Y/N drop her as a friend immediately. The problem was? During their college years together, Y/N had grown incredibly close to Maggie’s family. During those years, Maggie’s father had grown very sick and had asked Y/N to watch over Maggie because she needed some direction. Of course, she had promised to take care of Maggie for her father Hershel. Which meant she felt responsible for Maggie in some fashion after Hershel died.

The unfortunate thing is that people were right. Maggie did take advantage of their relationship. During their school years, Y/N was always the better student. Helping Maggie get through her classes. Where Y/N thrived, Maggie barely just made it through. And right when they were about to graduate, Y/N was doing everything she could to get an internship at the company Vixen. It was the hottest, rising fashion design company in New York. All throughout college, Y/N had admired the man in charge of the company. Guy Vixen was her inspiration for actually becoming a fashion designer. She loved his work and dreamt to be like him when she finally got her foot in the business.

Maggie on the other hand? She really had no direction. It seemed like Maggie was a drifter, going where the world would take her. But they both applied for an internship at Vixen. It was Y/N’s dream to work there and be able to work beside Guy Vixen. Maggie did it just for the hell of it. When Y/N was applying, Maggie was there. So it just seemed to work itself out that way. Originally? Neither one of them thought they would get a callback. It was just a dream scenario that was highly unlikely.

But? Almost immediately Maggie had gotten a call back. Guy Vixen himself wanted her to come in and do an interview with him. Y/N never received a call. It wasn’t until after she started working at Vixen that Y/N had learned that Guy never looked at people’s art first. Talent at the time didn’t matter to him. What mattered to him was someone’s social media presence. The kind of impact that they had to the world. At the time they applied? Y/N had a smaller following because she focused mainly on representing her art. Maggie had a much larger social media presence. It didn’t feature her art in any way, but it was more of a lifestyle presence. So Maggie received that call back not because of her designs, but because her personal social media account had a significant amount of followers.

Guy had decided after looking at Maggie’s social media that he liked her look. And after his interview with her? He hired her on immediately. Not as an intern, but as an actual paid employee. Back then? Y/N had gotten upset. Not because Maggie had gotten the job, but because Maggie had ‘accidentally’ made a mistake that helped her in getting that job. When Maggie went to the interview, she grabbed Y/N’s portfolio instead of her own swearing that she had confused the two. According to her, Maggie was late for the interview and just grabbed the first portfolio she saw assuming that it was hers. Because of Maggie’s look along with Y/N’s designs, Maggie had easily gotten the job.

When Y/N approached Maggie about her showing Y/N’s work as her own, Maggie insisted that she didn’t realize it until after Guy had looked at the portfolio and handed it back to her. Something about that never sat right with Y/N. Maggie explained that after Guy insisted on hiring her that she would have looked stupid if she told Guy that the designs weren’t hers. So she didn’t tell him.

After that happened? Their relationship was on shaky water. Because of that, Maggie managed to get Y/N a job at the company as well. Promised Y/N that she would be in a job where they were partners. Swore up and down that Y/N would be an important part of the company where she would be able to grow. And threw the idea of working beside Guy Vixen in her face. Of course, she would want to take that opportunity. It was her idol after all. When Maggie convinced her to take the job, she hinted that it might be possible that Y/N would be able to do even better than Maggie in the future.

Before going into the job, Maggie labeled them partners. After she accepted the job? Y/N realized that she wasn’t Maggie’s partner. No. She was Maggie’s personal assistant. And even though that infuriated her, Guy Vixen was dangled in her face. Maybe there would be that chance that he would see how hard she was working and she’d get hired on too.

Four years later? That never happened. Guy after this long didn’t even know who the hell she was and Y/N was in the same exact position she was when she got here in the business. Remaining loyal and continuing to be Maggie’s personal assistant. Guy didn’t even know her name. Nor did he look at her more than once or twice. Truthfully? Y/N felt invisible.  

In those four years? Maggie had become incredibly successful. Her position at the company was a highly sought after one and she was doing very well for herself. But? The thing that people didn’t know was that Y/N often was the reason behind Maggie’s success. Most of the time, Y/N had helped Maggie with her designs. Stirring up ideas and helping Maggie to put the final touches on things. Even though Maggie was a terrible friend, that promise Y/N had made to Hershel years ago lingered in her mind. She didn’t want to make Maggie look bad. Plus? If Maggie remained in the company, there was always a chance that someone could see that Y/N had talent too. Though? After four years, Y/N should have realized that was never happening.

What that meant for Y/N was she often did the work that Maggie didn’t want to do for the company. Which was pretty much everything except for the public events and the parties that Maggie was meant to attend. Maggie wanted the publicity and the attention. But she didn’t want to spend the time working on the things that needed to be done. Even when Maggie would have interviews for certain magazines or news sources, it was always Y/N preparing her beforehand. Creating mock interviews and answers for Maggie to memorize. And they would have to work on it for an ungodly amount of time. Just so Maggie didn’t fuck up.

At the end of the day? Y/N knew that made her pathetic. And she understood that. But she had those hopes that one day she would stand out to Guy. At first she just allowed herself to stay hidden, but over the last year or two she had been doing things in attempt to get him to notice her. Hoping that he would finally see her as a person and not some random stranger standing in his way in the middle of the hallway at the office. That hope that she would one day become something just stuck with her, so she never gave up. Hoping that one day a miracle would happen and she’d finally get credit for the designer that she was. The talent she was capable of sharing.

Today had been a very shitty day already. And it was only ten in the morning.

Y/N was exhausted. She had started work at seven. But there was so much to do before Maggie showed up in the mornings. There was almost a list of chores that would have to be done that Maggie put Y/N in charge of, every single day. If she didn’t get them done? Maggie would often have a shitty day and that wasn’t something that Y/N was keen on. Because if Maggie had a bad day? That meant that Y/N had an even shittier day. So there was never time to sit and relax. Enjoying the day only happened after work hours.

Since they had lived in the city, Maggie had fallen in love with a coffee shop that she had found the week she had gotten the job at Vixen. So that meant every morning Y/N was expected to go out and get Maggie her favorite latte at this coffee shop. Being Maggie’s personal assistant? Yeah, that pretty much made Y/N her slave. And today? The coffee shop was running behind. So that meant she had to wait in an incredibly long line before Y/N could even get to the office. Maggie’s order was also very specific, so it wasn’t like it was something that she could just get quickly. The biggest problem though? This shop was five blocks away. That meant it put Y/N completely behind on her duties for the day. Which meant she had to rush through the New York City streets once she got the latte. And it was snowing. So not only did she have to fight prime time traffic to walk through, it was so much worse because of the weather. Which meant by the time she got back to the building, she was soaked. So not only was she tired and stressed, but she was also freezing. In her rush to the office, Y/N had almost been hit by a taxi that wasn’t paying attention to pedestrians. And that made her drop her coffee so she had nothing to warm up with either.

Rushing to Maggie’s office was hard. If it wasn’t the traffic of the people on the streets or the cars, it was waiting for the elevators to get where they needed to go. The office was in one of the tallest towers in New York where they were on a higher level. Because Maggie was one of the higher up employees, there was a special elevator that she got to take that would avoid all the stops. However, for Y/N who had just a simple job with the company? That meant she had to wait at the community elevator. And that took forever too. Being smashed into a very tiny space with many people wasn’t exactly her favorite thing to do every day.

Normally, Maggie got to the office anywhere between ten and eleven. Usually, it was around quarter to eleven. So there was a hope that Maggie still hadn’t gotten back yet. Once she reached the top floor, Y/N was quick to make her way out of the elevator toward Maggie’s office. Thankfully when she reached it, she saw that it was empty which gave her a huge sigh of relief. Most everyone in the office was always busy with their own things, so they wouldn’t have noticed Y/N coming in late. They probably rarely even noticed her in the first place.

Setting Maggie’s latte aside, Y/N gathered the things that Maggie would need for the day to make sure that she was prepared. There was an important meeting that Maggie had to attend this afternoon. Once those items were together in one place, Y/N sat down and started to go through Maggie’s messages, writing down the notes that she knew would be important. When she got to the e-mails, the sound of the door to the office being pushed open was heard. That did bring a certain amount of dread to Y/N, but she didn’t pull away from what she was doing. Still being incredibly focused, Y/N just kept scrolling through.

“I have almost everything set up for you,” she felt rushed, wishing that she was done by now. Her face flushed over with a warmth and her heart started racing. Truthfully? She fully expected Maggie to start having one of her shit fits. “I am so sorry that it took me this long, but you wouldn’t believe the day that I have been having. I was…”

Mid-sentence, Y/N felt the strength of someone pulling at the arm of her chair. A shocked breath fell from her lips when the weight of someone much smaller than her jumped into her arms. Scrambling to keep them from falling, Y/N pulled them close. Their arms hooked around Y/N’s shoulders tightly. A giggle filled the air when the familiar bright green eyes of the little girl in her arms pulled back.  

“Jordyn, you scared me half to death,” she exclaimed, the first smile she had all day tugging at her lips. Wrapping her arms back around the eight-year-old, Y/N gave her a big bear hug. This little girl was someone that Y/N had met when she was just a baby. Brushing her fingers through Jordyn’s dark hair, Y/N felt a sense of joy for the first time today. “My gosh. You know, it is so good to see you! It’s been way too long. I almost couldn’t take it.”

“It’s been three days,” Jordyn reminded Y/N with a tiny laugh when she pulled back from the hug. Hopping down from the chair, Jordyn ran back around the desk into the arms of her father, Negan Smith. Picking Jordyn up, Negan groaned when he balanced her in his one free arm that he had. Stealing a quick glance at Negan had a lump developing in Y/N’s throat. “Daddy, I scared her.”

“I saw that baby girl,” Negan smirked, nuzzling his nose in against his daughters. “That’s not very nice.”

“Oh, that’s not her fault,” Y/N stood up from the chair that she was seated in to playfully tickle at Jordyn’s sides. A boisterous laugh escaped Jordyn with her burying her head at the crook of Negan’s neck. “You know three days is just way too long for me not to see you.”

“I agree,” Jordyn wiggled in Negan’s arms, her green eyes locking with Y/N’s when she kicked her feet about. “We should make this a daily thing.”

“A daily thing? Well, I wouldn’t complain about that, but I don’t know how your father would feel,” Y/N winked, her gaze finally meeting Negan’s. In that moment Negan appeared to be smiling at that interaction the girl were sharing together enjoying the way that they were talking. There appeared to be a sense of awe in his hazel eyes. “What are the two of you doing here?”  

“Daddy got breakfast and coffee for Maggie,” Jordyn explained gagging at the idea of coffee, managing to get Negan to set her back down on the ground. Looking to Negan’s other hand, Y/N’s eyes fell upon the drink carrier that he had along with the small bag that was sitting at the center of it. Lowering back down into the desk chair, Y/N nodded her head and attempted to give half of her attention back to the e-mails hoping to finish them before Maggie got here. “Daddy got me a hot chocolate. They added peppermint to it and because they said I was special they added mini marshmallows. It’s really good. They even drew Santa on the side of my cup for me.”

“No way!” Y/N worked hard to give the same kind of energy back that Jordyn was giving her, just like she had always done. Jordyn tugged at Negan’s jacket, holding her hand up for her cup and Negan set down the carrier that he had. Putting the bag beside it, Negan handed Jordyn carefully her cup and Jordyn came over to show Y/N. Observing the cup Y/N’s got wide and she wanted to look as impressed as Jordyn clearly was about the hot chocolate. “That is so cool!”

“I thought so too,” Jordyn moved in beside Y/N to look at the screen observing all the words that were on it. Behind her big green eyes, Y/N could see confusion. “Whatcha doing?”

“Just finishing up going through some of Maggie’s e-mails for her,” Y/N explained, clicking away her e-mails and turning to face Jordyn again to give her the attention she deserved. Really, she could get back to them at any time whereas she actually enjoyed the time that she spent with Jordyn.  

“Where’s Maggie? Shouldn’t that be her job?” Negan’s deep, raspy voice stammered as he made his way to the other side of the desk to take a seat on the edge of it. Yeah, it was Maggie’s job, but Y/N really wondered if Maggie knew how to do it. Turning to Negan, Y/N felt her heartrate quicken. Just the sight of Negan took her breath away. With his beautiful hazel eyes. His extremely prominent dimples. Along with his charming smile and chiseled jawline. His facial hair was salt and pepper colored. His dark hair was slightly messy from when she assumed he pulled his hat off from coming inside from the snow. And then there was his cologne. God, he smelled good.

“She should be here soon,” Y/N forced herself to look away from Negan not wanting to gawk. Motioning Jordyn to wait, Y/N got up from where she was seated to go for her bag. Coming back, Y/N lowered back into her seat and started digging into her bag. Pulling something out, she went to hand it to Jordyn. Holding it out had Jordyn’s eyes growing big. “I saw this the other day at the Christmas market in Bryant Park. I thought you would like it.”

“Oh my God,” Jordyn grabbed the nutcracker that Y/N had picked up for her and turned it to face Y/N. It was a very ugly nutcracker which was something that Jordyn had been collecting ever since she was little. Nut crackers that no one else would want to buy. “Daddy look! It’s so ugly!”

“I see that honey,” Negan laughed, reaching out to grab the present that Y/N had gotten for Jordyn. Sweeping his finger over the nutcracker made a low rumble of an amused sound fall from his throat. “What do you say?”

“Thank you Y/N,” Jordyn hopped up to give Y/N another hug. Squeezing tightly to Y/N this time, burying her head against the side of Y/N’s neck. “You’ve added more to my collection than anyone. You always find the ugliest ones.”

“I don’t know if I should be proud of that or not,” Y/N teased, patting faintly at Jordyn’s back while she held onto her. “I just know how much you love them, so I’m always sure to keep an eye out for them every Christmas.”

“You’re too kind. You know that, right?” Negan stammered from where he was seated on the edge of the desk, his hand reaching out to place in over Y/N’s shoulder. It had her turning to look at him with Jordyn still in her arms. “You should really come over to see her collection at some point. We have these shelves that we made special for her to display them. She’s very proud of it.”

“It looks amazing,” Jordyn leaned back, throwing her hands out in the air dramatically. “You gotta see it Y/N.”

“One day, I’d love to,” Y/N winked noticing the way that Negan was stroking at her shoulder before giving it a firm squeeze again.

“I know you see Jordyn all the time, but it’s been a while since I’ve gotten to really see you. You know, other than in passing when we’re switching off Jordyn. Too long really,” Negan admitted, a muscle in his jaw flexing when he let his hand drop at his side. “I used to see you all the time when you and Maggie were living together in that apartment. Ever since she moved into her new apartment in East Village, I rarely see you anymore.”

“Yeah,” Y/N swallowed down hard feeling her chest aching at the thought of Negan. Being around Negan was very hard because this was another example of what Maggie had done to be a bad friend. And everyone close to Y/N knew it. Everyone except Negan of course.

Back when they were in school, Y/N wasn’t completely sold with fashion design when she started her first year. Fashion design was something she had always told herself that she wanted. But when she was younger, she loved making movies. It was something that she had found incredibly fun and did as a hobby. And she’d do it all. Create the costumes. Make the scripts. Film. Edit. Act. Everything. It was an art that also came easy to her. Just for so long, Y/N thought she enjoyed fashion design more. So when she went to college, she made a promise to her family that she would test out the idea of maybe getting a film degree if fashion design didn’t go through. Which led her to Negan.

Negan was originally Y/N’s film professor that she had taken a class with in her first year. That was eight years ago. At the time? Y/N hadn’t really heard much about Negan. It was an intro class and most of the boys that were in the class were losing their minds before Negan got to class about who their professor was. But it wasn’t because of what he did for the film industry. No, it was because Negan was originally a professional baseball player. And apparently a very good one. For years, he thrived playing that sport up until he got a really terrible injury where he was forced to retire young. Using the money that Negan had made through the years, Negan decided to focus his time after that on creating films. He had the resources and the money to do it, so he just went for it. And? He ended up being very good at it. What he had done had caught the attention of some big names in Hollywood. Which led to Negan winning multiple awards before he even reached the age of thirty. After meeting the love of his life and getting married, Negan had settled down. Decided to work less on films and put a lot of his effort into teaching. It meant that he got to be with his wife and spend more time with her.

From the moment that Negan walked into that classroom on the first day, Y/N had the biggest crush on him. Everything about him appealed to her. Negan wasn’t like most of the professors that she had. Right from the start he had the mouth of a sailor which made him slightly more fun than the others. And he was so relaxed in the way that he taught. He took things seriously, but he made things enjoyable for people. He dressed casual, he’d interact with his students and get to know them. He was a fun professor and it didn’t hurt that he was incredibly good looking.  

Of course, there was an age gap between them, but her crush was innocent in the beginning. Negan was married. And he talked about his wife all the time. Almost every class somehow his wife Lucille would be brought into some kind of discussion. And he was so excited to talk about their daughter that they had just had. That’s probably what also made him more appealing to Y/N. How good of a father and a husband he seemed to be. She had never seen a man love something so much and it just showed in everything that he did. She found Negan very sweet and she was charmed by him.

During those years, that was the class that she looked forward to the most. And she did amazing in that class because she wanted to stand out to Negan. During that first year, they would talk all the time. Even hours after class. About the film industry. Her future plans. Negan’s family and his past. They clicked really fast. A few times after class, Negan had even introduced her to Lucille and Jordyn when they would drop by to see him. And in some classes? Negan happily brought Jordyn in with him, strapping her to his chest in her baby carrier while he taught. It was adorable.

So even though her heart was set on fashion design, she kept taking Negan’s classes because she enjoyed them so much. During the second year at school, Negan’s wife had ended up getting pancreatic cancer. Unfortunately it took her quick and Negan was devastated by the loss of his wife. He would have meltdowns at school to the point she started helping him out with his classes. And when he wouldn’t show up to classes, she would come to help him with Jordyn. That’s why she was so close to Negan and Lucille’s daughter. Jordyn was still very young when her mother died, so Y/N helped to raise Jordyn.

Eventually with her help, Negan managed to pull himself out of his depression. There was one discussion in particular that made Negan get his shit together when she made him realize that while he was in pain, Jordyn needed him. And he had to fight for her. After that time period and the dedication Y/N had put into helping Negan, they became super close. Closer than they probably should have been.

At the time, she thought they flirted constantly. They spent most days together sharing meals and taking care of Jordyn together. Jordyn had latched on pretty quickly to Y/N and Negan would pay Y/N to help take care of his daughter even though she didn’t want his money. Most months, she would collect the money and then return it to one of Negan’s jackets when he wasn’t paying attention.

During her last year of college, Negan had convinced her to be his student teacher. Around that time she was seriously considering going into film by Negan’s suggestions. He always told her that she was too good to waste her time on fashion and he promised to help her in her career. During the years they spent time together, Negan never made a move on her. And she always assumed it was because she was his student. Maybe he was just being professional. There was a hope that when she graduated, something more would have come from their relationship. There had been a few times where they had near kisses and she thought they were on the verge of having something develop between them.

One day Maggie came to see Y/N while she was working late with Negan checking papers. At the time Maggie knew how much Y/N liked Negan. Hell, she was pretty much in love with Negan. And Maggie had already met Jordyn. Especially with how often Jordyn and Y/N were actually together. But that didn’t stop Maggie from flirting with Negan the moment she entered that room. At the time, Y/N hadn’t thought much about it because even though Negan was flirting back, that really didn’t mean anything. Negan flirted with pretty much everyone. That was just the kind of personality that he had.

A few weeks later, Negan showed up to Y/N’s apartment that she shared with Maggie. There was a big bouquet of flowers in his hands. When she opened the door, her mind immediately made up all kinds of scenarios about how Negan finally realized how he felt about her and that’s why he was there. To confess his feelings for her. But instead? They were for Maggie. It devastated Y/N. After Negan left that day, Maggie promised she wouldn’t let it go any further because she knew how Y/N felt about Negan.

That promise lasted a whole three days before Y/N came home to the apartment she shared with Maggie to find Negan and Maggie having sex on the couch together. It broke her heart. The man she had been in love with over the last four years was smitten with her best friend and Maggie accomplished to snag the heart of Negan in less than a few days. After that? Her heart was broken. Maggie had done a lot of shitty things in the past, but never something this big.

More than anything Y/N wanted to run away, but she didn’t have the money to get an apartment in the city alone. So she stayed. Depression ate away at her and the passion she had for things were gone. Now she was being forced to listen to Maggie and Negan having sex all the time. And truthfully? That was so hard to take. Knowing that her best friend had landed the man that she had been in love with for four years. With Y/N being upset, Maggie tried to explain that she couldn’t help herself. Negan was just too charming and she fell hard for him. Swearing that Negan was relentless in trying to get with her. And in attempts to make Y/N feel better, Maggie insisted that Negan wasn’t really Y/N’s type anyways. That eventually she would find someone better.

So not only did Maggie get Y/N’s dream job, but she also got Y/N’s dream man too. Maggie and Negan had been dating now for over four years. And for four years, she watched the man she loved be hopelessly in love with her best friend. Even though so many times she wanted to run away, to finally give up on Maggie, the promise she made to Hershel always lingered over her head.

Now, she was Maggie’s personal assistant and she rarely saw Negan other than when she would drop Jordyn off or pick her up. Or if she had to run some kind of chore for Maggie that involved Negan. What used to be a friendship where they would hang out almost every day slowly drifted when Maggie started dating him.

“I mean it, I really miss seeing you. You should come over and we can have binge night with the little one. I’m sure she’s told you, but she’s started to get obsessed with supernatural television shows. And she’s had her eye on one for a while,” Negan winked at Jordyn before nudging faintly at Y/N’s shoulder. “I also got some cool video games that no one else will play with me. We used to play together all the time and I miss it.”

“What? Maggie doesn’t play video games with you?” Y/N wondered and immediately it drew a deep raspy laugh from Negan’s throat. Placing his hand in over the center of his chest, Negan’s nose wrinkled and he shook his head. “I’ll take that as a no?”

“That’s definitely a no,” Negan agreed with her, his dimples growing more visible with his laughter. “You know she hates that shit. Big time.”

“She always yells at daddy when he plays,” Jordyn informed Y/N with a sigh, heading over to the couch in Maggie’s office after snatching her nutcracker back from Negan. “She thinks there are better things he can do with his time.”

“Sounds like Maggie,” she admitted with a weak a smile noticing the way that Negan was staring down at her. “Is something wrong?”

“You looked soaked,” Negan replied back, outstretching his hand to touch at her hair to feel that it was wet beneath his fingertips. “What happened?”

“Oh, Maggie likes me to pick up a certain coffee for her in the morning,” she nodded toward the cup that was sitting on the desk. “It’s a shop about five blocks away. It just started snowing really bad, but I’ll be fine.”

“You’re gonna get sick,” Negan commented, getting up from the desk to pull his thick winter jacket off. Setting it aside for a minute, Negan started to pull off the red flannel shirt that he was wearing revealing a white t-shirt underneath. Motioning her to stand, she immediately shook her head and Negan hushed her. “Take the shirt off and put this on. It will keep you warm.”

“I shouldn’t,” she admitted looking to the shirt that Negan was offering her. Without further talking, Negan reached for her and pulled her up from the chair. Gasping out, she almost fell forward when Negan started to open the sweater jacket that she was wearing. Getting it off her, Negan motioned her to wait and headed over to the window where the heater was near it. Hanging it over the side, Negan moved back and motioned her to turn around. Thankfully she had been wearing an undershirt beneath that sweater. “Negan?”

“Hold your arms out,” he instructed her with a warmth flooding into her cheeks. Doing as she was told, she allowed him to pull his shirt up over her body and she let out a long sigh. Once it was on her, she immediately smelled his cologne that she had become heavily attracted to whenever she would smell it outside in public. Maybe it was because she was so attracted to Negan and that was his scent. Either way, the shirt smelled really nice and it was warm when she pulled it in closer to her. “Good?”

Instead of saying anything, she simply nodded. Turning her to face him, Negan caressed over her shoulders as if he was waiting to warm her up, “It would be really nice if you could join us for Christmas this year. I know that you’re gonna be alone and Maggie talked about it. I’d love having you come over to the house. Jordyn would love it too.”

“Yes! Very much so!” Jordyn agreed with her father, kicking her feet a bit and giving that same cheesy over the top smile that Negan would often give Y/N. Even though Jordyn had some of her mother’s features, there was so much of Negan inside of Jordyn. Both in her attitude and her physical appearance. “I have some presents for you.”

“You didn’t have to get me presents sweetheart,” she insisted with a frown, knowing that she felt strange about this whole situation.

“Of course I do,” Jordyn retorted with a firm shake of her head. “You help take care of me when daddy needs help. You always have. And you’re with me multiple times during the week. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Well that just won me over,” Y/N felt a warmth flood throughout her body. Heading over to the couch, she sat down next to Jordyn and squeezed her arm tightly around Jordyn’s shoulders. “You are so special. And I love you very much.”

“I love you too,” Jordyn hooked her arms around Y/N to squeeze her tightly in her embrace. Negan was watching them from afar with a weak smile tugging at his lips. Heading over toward them, he pushed his hands into his pockets and let out a long sigh. “Daddy says it all the time too. He doesn’t know what he would do without you.”

“I’m sure he would be just fine,” Y/N suggested since their relationship was nothing like it used to be since he started dating Maggie. The only thing she was to Negan was a prominent female figure in Jordyn’s life.  And even though they weren’t together, she was still very much helping him to raise Jordyn. “He has Maggie.”

“You and Maggie are vastly different,” Negan alerted her with a tip of his head. If only he meant that in a way that would actually mean something to her. That was something that Y/N had originally wished for from the beginning. “I can count on you. Maggie is…well she’s Maggie.”

“Am I hearing my name?” a voice interrupted their conversation and it drew Negan to look back over his shoulder to see that Maggie was entering the space. Moving through the office, Maggie reached her arm out to hook it around Negan’s shoulders when he turned to embrace her. Bringing their lips together in a lingering kiss, Maggie hummed against Negan’s lips and it forced Y/N to look away. There was always that sense of jealousy that lingered when Y/N saw the two of them together. “What were we talking about?”

“How different you and Y/N were,” Negan responded truthfully, his mouth hovering over Maggie’s. A smile tugged at his handsome features before he peppered a few more kisses over Maggie’s lips. “Mhmm, I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” Maggie dragged her palms down over the center of Negan’s chest. Y/N looked to Jordyn who rolled her eyes and went back to playing with the present that Y/N had gotten her. “What are you doing here babe?”

“Jordyn and I decided to bring you some breakfast,” Negan answered, nodding over toward the bag that they had brought along with the coffee. “I guess it’s more so brunch now and it may be a little cold, but…”

“That was very sweet,” Maggie brushed her fingers through Negan’s short beard, lifting up just enough to nuzzle her nose against Negan’s.

“Although, I think Y/N went out to go get you coffee. So I can probably just give the coffee to Y/N so she has something to warm herself up,” Negan gazed back at Y/N sitting with Jordyn, but Maggie grabbed Negan’s chin firmly forcing him to look at her. Kissing him a few more times, Maggie was making sure to draw it out and it had Y/N’s heart pounding inside of her chest.

“Don’t be ridiculous, I think I would love your coffee way more than anything else,” Maggie released Negan and headed over toward the latte that Y/N had gotten for her. Holding it up, she stepped on the foot lever to get the trash to open. Dropping it in the trash had Y/N’s lips parting. She wanted to say something, but instead she bit her tongue when Maggie rubbed her hands together and moved to grab the coffee that Negan had gotten for her. Of course Maggie didn’t think to give her the latte because that wasn’t the way that Maggie thought. Taking a sip, Maggie paused and by the expression over her face, Y/N knew that Maggie hated the coffee. “This is fantastic. I’m so glad that you got it for me.”

“If that’s her liking it face, I’d hate to see what her face looked like when she hated something,” Jordyn lifted up to whisper in Y/N’s ear. Both of them giggled which drew Maggie’s attention to them. How close Y/N was to Jordyn was always something Maggie was uncomfortable with after she started dating Negan. Because Maggie never bonded with Jordyn like Y/N did.

“What are you wearing?” Maggie wondered, her eyes narrowing when she observed Y/N’s body slowly. Looking down, Y/N noticed that Maggie was talking about Negan’s flannel that she was wearing. Staring at it a moment of scrutiny. “Don’t let Guy catch you wearing that. He will throw you out for the day and I need you here.”

“She was cold. She got soaked being outside,” Negan pointed out in Y/N’s direction which had Maggie looking her over more thoroughly. “So I just gave her my shirt. I thought it would be better for her to be warm instead of having her freeze. The last thing that you want is your assistant getting pneumonia.”

Cringing, Y/N hated to hear Negan refer to her as Maggie’s assistant. That was what she was though. So maybe she needed to get over that. Maggie sold it to her as her ‘partner’ but she was just a glorified slave. Embarrassment flooded her veins. Four years ago Negan thought she was good enough to sell to film studios to hire her on. Now she was working as someone’s personal assistant. He probably thought she was pathetic. Then again, he probably really didn’t think about her much to begin with.

“You always have to be so logical,” Maggie muttered, stepping forward to reach out and palm in over the side of Negan’s face. His long eyelashes fluttered leaning in closer to her to meet her halfway. Humming against his lips, Maggie smiled and then back stepped toward her desk. In just the small amount of time with Maggie being there, she had made it very obvious to stress to Y/N that Negan was hers. Setting her personal items down, Maggie moved over toward the couch to take a seat on the opposite side of Jordyn. Upon seeing the ugly nutcracker that Jordyn was playing with, Maggie’s nose wrinkled and she reached out to grab it. “I’ll never understand why you love these things so much.”

“They are so ugly,” Jordyn blurt out excitedly, kicking her feet a bit when she pointed to the nutcracker that Maggie was now observing. “They’re so ugly that they are cute.”

“I told you hun, she’s always had a thing for them,” Negan reminded Maggie getting her eyes to lift to his from where she was seated. “The uglier things are? The better for her.”

“It’s because I want to prove that even the ugliest things are loveable to someone. You can’t just leave them there for no one to buy,” Jordyn exclaimed with a frown reaching for the nutcracker from Maggie. “I like my collection.”

“I know you do baby,” Negan lowered down, outstretching his hand to brush his fingers through his daughter’s dark hair. A moment passed where all of them were silent. Clearing his throat, Negan looked to Maggie, offering up one of his charming smiles. “Are you ready for tonight?”

“What’s tonight?” confusion flooded Maggie’s green eyes and she looked to Y/N to save her. Only, Negan didn’t give her the time to do so.

“That event at the school,” Negan reminded Maggie, his head bobbing about. “We’ve only talked about it a million times. The one where potential donators come in and they get a feel for what the school can offer. We have people come in from influential jobs to talk about how their classes got them in the career they are in today. We’ve talked about it a lot hun.”

“Oh, right. That,” Maggie’s mouth parted into the shape of an o. It was obvious that Maggie was trying to come up with some kind of response. Shifting on the couch uneasily, Maggie slid further away from Jordyn and bit down on her bottom lip. “I’m sorry Negan, but an important meeting with a client came up tonight. Guy and I are supposed to meet them for dinner.”

“When did that happen?” Y/N panicked, reaching for her phone to pull out her calendar. “I have nothing in the schedule.”

“It only was just confirmed with me when I was on the elevator to get up here,” Maggie explained to Y/N, holding her hand out to get Y/N to lower her phone down. “Guy was on the elevator at the same time and he reminded me of it. It’s a very important client and he wants me to be there.”

“Maggie,” Negan frowned, his jaw flexing and visible disappointment filled his hazel eyes. “You knew about this. About how important this was for the school. You were one of the big names on the list for people.”

“And I’m sorry this turned out the way it did, but work is more important,” Maggie stressed to Negan throwing her arm about in the air while she spoke. “I’d love to go to this with you because you know how much I love going places with you, but this is one thing I can’t get out of. You’re a big enough name.”

“But I’m for the film department. You were supposed to be the lead for the fashion department Maggie. That’s two totally different areas. People coming for that aren’t gonna wanna see me,” Negan stressed, standing up slowly. His hands pressed in over his hips, his body language showing that he was unhappy. “If you were gonna cancel, you should have told me long before today. That way I could have gotten someone that could replace you.”

“I can’t help it Negan,” Maggie defended herself placing her hand in over the center of her chest, her head shaking swiftly from side to side. “This only came about today. If I would have known that it was going to happen, I would have told you.”

A grunt escaped Negan’s lips and he rolled his eyes. A muscle was flexing at the corner of his jaw as it often would when he would get irritated or angry with someone. Maggie was waiting for some kind of response from Negan, but at this point? She wasn’t getting it.

“You know how it is Negan. Around Christmas time, my job gets really busy,” Maggie tried to defend herself realizing that she was losing in her defense with her last-minute cancelation. Looking around the room, Maggie’s green eyes locked with Y/N’s and she gasped. Snapping her fingers, she got Negan’s attention and pointed at Y/N. “Make Y/N go instead! She works here too. She knows my job inside and out. I guarantee she would be able to give the speech.”

“Maggie, they wouldn’t want me,” Y/N responded immediately realizing that she was a no-name. Whereas people actually knew who Maggie was. Sure, she knew the speech inside and out because she had written it for Maggie. As well as made a pdf along with a video for Maggie to share. There was no question that she knew this whole thing more than Maggie ever did, but that didn’t excuse that no one would want her over Maggie. “I’m a no one. No one even knows my name.”

“But you work hand-in-hand with me,” Maggie countered, standing up from the couch. Waving her hand back and forth between Negan and Y/N, Maggie was desperately trying to get the two of them to agree. “Y/N, you know that you knew this stuff.”

“She might have something to do tonight,” Negan stressed, shaking his head. It was obvious that he was still upset with Maggie. “This is very last-minute Maggie. For me, for her.”

“She never has anything she has to do,” Maggie defended herself and it had Y/N huffing out. Looking to Jordyn, Y/N noticed that Negan’s daughter was just watching the whole situation play out in front of her. “Come on Y/N. You know just as well as I do that if I need you, no matter what you are available.”

“It’s my job,” Y/N stressed to Maggie who grumbled under her breath and then lowered her head into her hand. With how Negan was reacting to things, it was obvious that Negan didn’t think she was a good enough replacement for Maggie. “He doesn’t want me there.”

“That’s…that’s not true,” Negan replied back with a sense of empathy over what she just said. “I don’t mind you coming, but…”

“Then it should be fine,” Maggie interrupted him so she could stop any worries or negative thoughts about the idea that she came up with. “All we have to do is have her replace me. I assure you that the speech is going to be great.”

“I don’t think you’re realizing why this is upsetting to me,” Negan grumbled under his breath noticing that Maggie didn’t seem to realize where the problem was. “I don’t have a problem with her stepping in. My problem here is that we promoted you. People are going to expect you to be there. And dropping out of things last second is not really cool Maggie.”

“Oh no, I understand that,” Maggie assured him, stepping to him and placing her hand in over the center of Negan’s chest getting their eyes to lock. “I understand that I will have to make it up to you. And if I didn’t have this last-minute meeting, I wouldn’t be doing this to you.”

“A lot of people are going to be disappointed,” Negan thought aloud, lowering his stare to watch Maggie stroking at the center of his chest. It didn’t take much to see that gradually Negan was getting less angry with Maggie. Sighing loudly, Negan shrugged his shoulders with his eyebrows bouncing up. “You do owe me Maggie.”

“And I intend to follow through,” Maggie whispered lifting her hand to tap lightly at Negan’s nose. Tugging at Negan’s jacket, Maggie got him to lower down enough so she could steal another kiss from his lips.

Separating, Negan sighed loudly and looked to Y/N. Throwing his hands up in the air, he seemed at a loss for words, “Are you available to replace Maggie tonight? If you came to the event, it would help me out. Having someone to talk is better than having no one to talk. I’d owe you one.”

The look in his hazel eyes were almost pleading and it made Y/N’s throat go dry. Giving a small nod of her head, Y/N knew that she couldn’t turn Negan down when he was asking her for a favor, “I’ll find a way to make time.”

“I’ll text you over the details as soon as I can. Thank you for doing this Y/N,” Negan stammered, his dimples prominent while he thought of something more to say. “I just have to find a way to make it make sense to the board.”

“It’s really not that big of a deal honey,” Maggie reached out to squeeze over Negan’s shoulders and then headed back toward her desk. Negan went to say something to bicker back with Maggie, but the way he slouched forward showed that he knew that it would have been useless to do so anyways.

“I think me and Jordyn are gonna take off. We are supposed to meet one of her friends at Bryant Park for some ice skating,” Negan informed the two of them, reaching out to help Jordyn up from the couch. “We’ll make sure to drop this guy off first though so we can make sure he can be with rest of your collection.”

“Thank you again!” Jordyn boasted, running to Y/N to give her another big hug. “You always have the best gifts.”

“And you always give the best hugs,” Y/N hummed, giving Jordyn one final big squeeze. Standing up from the couch, Y/N gave Negan a nod not sure how she should say goodbye to him at this point. When they were close, they were hugging all the time. Now, it just felt awkward. “I hope you both have a good time.”

“Oh, I’m sure she will,” Negan curled his arm around his daughter’s shoulders pulling her in closer to him. “Thanks again Y/N.”

“I’ll call you tonight after everything,” Maggie waved goodbye to both Negan and Jordyn as they worked their way out of her office. There was a fake smile plastered over Maggie’s features when they looked back at her from where they were standing by the elevator. Once they were on the elevator and it was closed, Maggie finally relaxed and slouched forward. Looking to the latte that Negan had gotten her, Maggie groaned and shoved it out toward Y/N. “Take this. I don’t want it.”

“Well I don’t want it after you’ve drank from it,” Y/N muttered, her eyes looking down toward the cup with disgust. “We’re close Maggie, but I’m not really interested in sharing germs with you.”

“Oh please, my germs are perfect,” Maggie pushed the drink further toward Y/N who had to grab the cup otherwise it may have spilled everywhere. “I don’t care what you do with it. Just throw it away. That was disgusting. I can’t believe you allowed me to throw away my other latte for that.”

“Maggie, I can’t make you do anything,” Y/N countered moving over toward the trash to throw away the latte that Maggie no longer wanted. Almost immediately after throwing out the latte, Y/N gasped when Maggie threw her the bag of food that Negan had brought for her. Luckily she caught it after fumbling with it for a moment. “You want me to throw this away too?”

“You can eat it. I already had breakfast,” Maggie explained searching for something in one of her drawers. “I’m sure you haven’t eaten yet, so it’s perfect for you.”

“Thanks Maggie,” Y/N set the bag on the corner of Maggie’s desk. Moving over toward the couch, Y/N knew that her laptop was on the coffee table that was in front of it and there were a lot of things she had to get started on.

A loud, exaggerated gasp was heard making Y/N jump when she looked to Maggie who had shot up from the seat that was at her desk, “Damn it Y/N! Couldn’t you have at least wiped off the seat? We should have gotten you a towel or something with how wet you were.”

“Sorry Maggie,” Y/N apologized, fighting hard to avoid rolling her eyes at her overreaction.

“And you didn’t even get through all the e-mails?” Maggie stammered provoking a long sigh from Y/N in response. Great, today was obviously headed for a shitty day. “You’re slacking a little bit.”

“It took longer to get back to the office this morning with this storm and walking,” Y/N explained, getting comfortable on the couch and preparing her laptop. “Also, Negan and Jordyn showing up distracted me for a few.”

“Those sound like excuses Y/N,” Maggie suggested, tapping her fingers on the desk. Suddenly it felt like Y/N was being scolded by someone of authority and like Y/N was a child. “You know what I say. If you have to make excuses about things not being done it means that you’re not taking your job seriously and I need you to take it seriously.”

“I’m not being dismissive with my job, Maggie. I assure you I’m taking things very seriously,” Y/N declared with an uncomfortable sound. It felt like her throat was closing up with Maggie’s green eyes still staring out at her. “What do you want me to say Maggie?”

“I want you to tell me it won’t happen again,” Maggie stressed and it had Y/N faintly laughing. “Is that funny? You know that you only have this job because you were my best friend Y/N. I could probably find someone that is more eager to have this job.”

“No, it’s not funny at all,” Y/N bit down on her bottom lip, getting angry that Maggie was now threatening her position over a few unanswered e-mails. Maggie would be lost without Y/N. So even the idea that Maggie would threaten her job was amusing in itself. “Sorry Maggie, I’ll make sure to get things done faster from here on out.”

“See to that,” Maggie breathed, her eyes going back to the screen to skim over the things that were still left on the computer.

From the couch Y/N stared out at Maggie. After four years at this company, Y/N didn’t even have a desk. She did most of her work from Maggie’s couch or used Maggie’s desk whenever she wasn’t there. Even though Maggie had gotten her this job where they were supposed to be partners, they weren’t even close.

In this moment, it was hard not to consider life and her choices. A promise to Maggie’s father had caused Y/N to become a slave to her best friend. One where she did all the work to make Maggie look good. All Maggie was in this company was a face. Y/N wasn’t really sure what Maggie really did other than share what were mostly Y/N’s designs and ideas. Y/N did everything for Maggie and she didn’t even make a quarter of what Maggie did in terms of salary.

There were moments where Y/N considered if she should really keep putting up with this. Putting all her efforts and talents into Maggie when she didn’t get any recognition whatsoever. Why had she wasted this much time doing this to begin with? For some reason today, everything was just hitting Y/N harder and it was stressing her out more than normal.

There was a knock at the door that drew both of them to look up. Guy Vixen stood at the door, gazing upon Maggie. As always, the owner of the company was dressed in something unbelievably expensive. Vibrant colors added emphasis to his look making sure to always have him stand out. Guy was originally an English model that took advantage of the sources he had and became one of the most successful fashion designers in the world. No matter when you saw Guy, his appearance was always perfect. His nails nicely manicured. His dark hair gelled to perfection. You couldn’t miss him in a crowd. That was for sure. Not just because he was a good-looking guy, but also because he wouldn’t let you miss him. He had to be the center of attention no matter where he was.

“Well don’t just look at me with those doe eyes. Are you ready?” Guy had been holding the door open, his hand waving at Maggie to get up.

“Of course,” Maggie stood up quickly, fixing the dress that she was wearing. Smoothing it over her hips, Maggie moved around the desk and gave a big smile. “Let me grab my notes.”

Watching Maggie’s movements, Y/N knew that in the corner of the room was the drawings for the presentation that Maggie was supposed to do. Yesterday they had talked about them since Y/N had finished them off for Maggie, but it seemed like Maggie was oblivious to them.

“You,” Guy snapped his fingers at Y/N to get her attention. Well that was a first. Usually Guy was oblivious to her existence. Now? Guy’s brown eyes were gazing her over and she felt her heartrate quicken. Suddenly Maggie’s warning was repeating in her mind about what she was wearing. “What are you wearing?”

Damn, Maggie was right. Looking down, Y/N tugged at Negan’s shirt that he had given her to wear in order to warm up, “It’s flannel?”

“Cute,” Guy simply stated, his head tipping to the side. A surprised expression flooded Maggie’s features that Guy would even say something like that to begin with. “It’s very vintage.”

“Thank you,” Y/N offered up a weak smile, not sure how to respond since that wasn’t the response that she was expecting.

“You ready?” Maggie outstretched her hand to grab a hold of Guy’s arm.

“Yes darling, let’s go,” Guy started to lead Maggie away, but Y/N cleared her throat.

“Maggie,” Y/N called out to Maggie who looked frustrated that Y/N would even call out to her in the first place. “Are you forgetting something?”

“What could I possibly be for…” Maggie started, but Y/N nodded over toward the corner of the room where the materials for the presentation were. A sudden realization flooded through Maggie and she swiftly headed over toward that corner to grab everything. “Yes. You were right. Wouldn’t want to forget these.”

As they were leaving the room, Y/N started to go back to work only to hear Guy whisper, “Who was that again?”

“It’s my assistant,” Maggie muttered under her breath and hearing that made Y/N let out a tense, muted laugh. And there it was. The true label that Maggie had always planned out for her. Y/N was a fool to assume anything else. And each day only proved to her how she was going to be stuck in this very role until the end of time.

----

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[zuko-always-lies]

Azula's Strong Emotional Empathy Skills

Often times, people assume that Azula is bad at empathy, or at least emotional empathy. However, I would dispute that, and argue that her compassionate empathy skills in particular are actually extremely strong and off the chart, at least when it involves someone she cares about.

ATLA gives several examples of Azula showing off her empathy skills. The first comes in "The Crossroads of Destiny":

Azula: We've done it, Zuko. It's taken a hundred years, but the Fire Nation has conquered Ba Sing Se. Zuko: I betrayed Uncle. Azula: No, he betrayed you. [She stands up from the throne.] Zuko, when you return home, Father will welcome you as a war hero. Zuko: But I don't have the Avatar. What if Father doesn't restore my honor? Azula: He doesn't need to, Zuko. [She puts a hand on Zuko's shoulder.] Today, you restored your own honor.

She notices Zuko is uneasy, and does a pretty good, if not entirely successful job trying to reassure him and make him feel better.

Next we come to "The Awakening":

[Meanwhile, back at the Fire Nation Capital, Zuko feeds turtle ducks in a lake with some bread. Azula joins him.] Azula: You seem so downcast. Has Mai gotten to you already? Though actually, Mai has been in a strangely good mood lately. Zuko: I haven't seen Dad yet. I haven't seen him in three years, since I was banished. Azula: So what? Zuko: So, I didn't capture the Avatar. Azula: Who cares? The Avatar is dead … [Zuko looks away.] unless you think he somehow miraculously survived.

It's easy to miss out on this with where the scene ends up going, but what's actually the inciting reason for the scene to happen in the first place is that Azula knows Zuko is out of sorts, and wants to reassure him. She knows exactly where he is likely to go when he's sad or anxious, the turtleduck ponds which reminds him of Ursa, and easily finds him there. However, in her attempts to reassure him, she begins to suspect that he's hiding something from her, and the scene gets derailed.

Next up is "The Beach":

Zuko: [Cut to closer view of Zuko and Mai. Angrily.] Doing nothing is a waste of time. [Rises from his seat next to Mai.] We're being sent away on a forced vacation. [Walks over and grips the railing of the boat.] I feel like a child. Azula: [Frontal view.] Lighten up. So Dad wants to meet with his advisors alone, without anyone else around. Don't take it personally.

Azula instantly tries to reassure Zuko here, although she's less skillful about it than in some other cases.

Next up is the famous "Azula apologizes to Ty Lee" scene. As I've argued elsewhere, Azula is very skillful in comforting Ty Lee there. She knows exactly what she needs to say and do to make Ty Lee feel better.

Then, after Zuko gets kicked out of the party, we get this scene

Azula: I thought I'd find you here. Zuko: [Side-view.] Those summers we spent here seem so long ago. So much has changed. Azula: Come down to the beach with me. Come on. This place is depressing.

Azula's empathy is really impressive here. She apparently not only realized that Zuko would end up in a bad funk and cared enough to do something about it, but she also knew exactly where he would go in his depressed emotional state.

We then have the famous "fireside" scene. Azula isn't always the nicest person here, but her ability to understand the emotions of others is on full display:

Zuko: [Turning around.] For so long I thought that if my dad accepted me, I'd be happy. I'm back home now, my dad talks to me. Ha! He even thinks I'm a hero. [Close-up of Azula, who smiles.] Everything should be perfect, right? [Aerial view of campsite.] I should be happy now, but I'm not. [Turning back to the others.] I'm angrier than ever and I don't know why!

Azula:[Frontal view.] There's a simple question you need to answer, then. Who are you angry at? Zuko: [Close-up.] No one. I'm just angry. Mai [Side-view of the three girls.] Yeah, who are you angry at, Zuko? Zuko: [Close-up.] Everyone. I don't know. [Becoming frustrated.] Azula: [Frontal view.] Is it Dad? Zuko: [Close-up.] No, no. Ty Lee: [Frontal view.] Your uncle? Azula: Me? Zuko: [Close-up.] No, no, n-no, no! Mai: [Close-up.] Then who? Who are you angry at? Azula: [Camera pans left, past Ty Lee, to Azula.] Answer the question, Zuko. Ty Lee: [Close-up.] Talk to us. Mai: [Extreme close-up.] Come on, answer the question. Azula: Come on, answer it.

Finally, we have this scene from Nightmares and Daydreams:

Azula: Hello, Zuzu. If you've come for a royal hair-combing, I'm afraid you'll have to wait. Zuko: So I guess there's a big war meeting coming up, huh? And apparently I'm not welcome there. Azula: What do you mean? Of course you're welcome there! Zuko: Oh, yeah?! I guess that's why no one bothered to tell me about it! Azula: Oh, Zuko. Don't be so dramatic. I'm certain Dad wants you there. You probably just weren't invited because it's so obvious you're supposed to be there. Zuko: Well, were you invited? Azula: Of course! I'm the princess. Zuko: And I'm the prince! Azula: Exactly, so stop acting like a paranoid child! Just go to the meeting. Zuko: Forget it! I'm not going!

Although Azula instantly moves to try to comfort Zuko, this is in many ways her least successful scene. She struggles to contain her frustration with Zuko's behavior.

Still, overall Azula displays an impressive record, and shows very strong compassionate empathy skills. However, it's only toward the people she's close to, as she has no reason to display them toward enemies.

[his-tamine]

life update :3 (a little vent-y)

sooo, been over 200 days since the house caught fire and we had to move. obviously, a lot of stuff's been happening. can't go into deep details for fear of someone I don't want to find this, finding this, but I'll say this much: FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've very rarely mentioned family on here (for obvious reasons - this account is NOT made for that lol) but here goes. tw for pretty heavy topics: mentions of abuse, father issues, health issues, transphobia & financial issues. I turned 18 Feb 21st, literally just almost 2 months before the damn house caught fire. Meanwhile, my brother's still a minor. MEANING, I narrowly escaped the custody battle my mom & dad are in. But unfortunately, he's still stuck in the middle of it. :( My pops was not really the nicest person to me when I was a kid -

whooping my ass whenever I did anything wrong, no matter how minor the offense was.

Telling me that he loved God more than he loved me, because "You're God's gift to me. God is the one who gave you to me in the first place," when I was four.

Telling me that if I didn't start being ok with receiving physical affection from family - which he knew made me uncomfortable - I was "going to grow up to be a S3R1AL K1LL3R" (yes he said that.)

Telling me that "God doesn't make mistakes," and that he "made me into a beautiful young woman for a reason" after I came out to him personally at 14 - big mistake 0/10 stars, would never do again. You get the idea. And those are the tame examples I could think of. So, I finally cut him off. As soon as my mom, brother, & I were in our new place, I blocked his number and haven't talked to him since. I was sick of him not respecting my boundaries, and repeatedly demonstrating that he thought of me as nothing more than a possession. Tired of him making me feel crazy all the time too. But now he's fucking with my mom & brother. Intentionally not paying child support till the last minute possible - & then making it in as small of payments at a time as he possibly can (yes he can afford it btw.) Trying to force my brother to go over to his place, even when my brother does NOT want to - which has begun giving my brother psychological issues & issues with school, mirroring the ones I used to struggle with bc of that bastard. My mom is juggling all sorts of things, & I really at least wanna try to help financially by getting a job, but I can't yet because: she says that I'm only 18, & shouldn't have to get a job to help out (I disagree.) I don't have an ID bc she wants me to wait on my legal name change - which costs a pretty decent chunk of change - reason is bc she "wants me to have as easy an early adulthood life as possible" (love her.) AND, I haven't actually graduated - No, I dipped in 11th bc school was hell (not exaggerating,) & instead just decided to pursue a GED, that I haven't been able to work towards bc of the shit show that is life in midwestern america. So I've been very depressed, exhausted, & hopeless. The least I can do is clean up our house while she's at work, & get this - some days I don't even have the physical energy to do THAT! I do not know what the hell is wrong with my body currently, but it absolutely sucks. & I'm really tired of just taking up space all the time. She's dealing with health issues too, & I'm always worried ab her. Idk what the hell to do, but something's gotta give. Everybody needs a fucking break. I keep trying to shoo away all the dark thoughts, push myself as often as possible, & keep my fingers crossed, but jfc... Sorry just needed to yell into the void for a sec. I'll live, I'm sure - I've survived worse. Sometimes things just suck. But I like to think that someday they won't. :,)

[kdramajunkie-101]

Let me preface by saying, I am not trying to justify any of Do Kyung's actions. This is simply an analysis on his character. Yes, he's done bad things and should face the consequences. With that being said, I hate how his mental health is being handled in the drama. Not the way it's written per se but how a few characters handle it.

His Dad

Literally, all of what Do Kyung is facing right now stemmed from how he was brought up. Having to be perfect at everything and putting on a facade for the cameras. His dad showed NO interest in him beyond his "offerings." An example being: "Is he good enough to be my heir?,"is he good enough to commit such a crime?" He has also had to prove himself in his own family, and that can cause a person's psyche to become altered and disrupted. His dad, to me, is also a victim, and I'll expound later in Chairwoman Jo's paragraph.  Him calling Do Kyung a monster is quite ironic as well. Who could've created such a monster, I wonder? Let me guys know if you ever come up with an answer.

His Mom

She's a victim as well. She's very submissive and lacks agency. Her helplessness and naivety are actually quite scary as this makes her a tool that the father can use at any time. Her scene in the prison where she visited Do Kyung actually had me tearing up. That was what led me to even start writing this. Just her one statement, "You disobeyed your dad." That just showed how she herself can't do anything without approval from the dad. I don't even think she realizes the damage she's done to the poor child. Her also just moving on with her life after seeing her son breaking down in front of her just goes again to show how disconnected she really is. And even at the funeral, she looked like she had so much to say, but she just wasn't able to. Her entire marriage, all she's known, is serving her husband and being a "good wife." Of course, nothing else will come before that. Not even her son.

Do Kyung

Do Kyung making such a choice is understandable, to say the least. As someone who has struggled with mental health. Such a method has always been seen as the way out. Notice I didn't say easy. Because such a choice is NEVER easy. Poor guy wasn't even being treated while he was locked up in prison. Everyone putting the blame on him for EVERYTHING was so unnecessary and unfair as well. He was a jerk, evil, and downright nasty, but no one with mental health issues should be placed in such an environment.  Especially without proper medication and care.

This is dedicated to the worst character of the show in MY OPINION.

His Doctor

Ohhhhh I was fuming when he called him a psycho. I was so annoyed. Do Kyung was a patient. He was actively seeking help in an environment that ostracized mental health issues. Yes, he may not have been the nicest or taken his medication all the time, but he was still trying. He was doing the best he could in an environment that wouldn't allow for much growth. And for someone whom he was supposed to trust and tell his entire life to say something like that was just downright nasty. No matter if he was a psycho or not. If the doctor had felt that he was a threat, then he should've reported him to the necessary authorities. Disrespecting a patient is never the right thing to do. I was so elated when Do Kyung beat his a** up. Leapt from my chair in joy.

Final Character

Chairwoman Jo

This is kinda hmmm. Like I think everything that we're seeing and all the characters in the Noh family all have their respective issues due to her. In a flashback, we could see that she treated Suk Min similarly to how he treated Do Kyung. Talk about generational trauma. Of course, Suk Min would've replicated what he was taught. In this specific scene, she was talking about sending Suk Min to prison for a crime he had committed because he had gotten away with "too much." This literally shows that she had been sweeping all of his wrongs under the rug as she wanted someone picture perfect to take over her beloved company. Suk Min was never enough for her, similarly to how Do Kyung wasn't enough for him. She didn't care much for them.

I think that she saw an opportunity to right ALL her wrongs through Do Hee. Do Hee to her was a new slate. All the things she did with Suk Min and Su Ahn could've been "erased" by raising Do Hee in a less restrictive way. As she was able to do all this, she decided to give Do Hee the company. I think that was very wrong. Of course, Suk Min didn't create the company, and it isn't "his" looking from it at a more Western perspective. As Chairwoman Jo built it from the ground up, however, she had Suk Min training ALL his life with only one thought in mind. Him owning the company and carrying on her legacy. And for her to throw such a curve ball, of course, he'd be upset and pissed off. This is not me justifying all the rubbish he's done, though. I'm just saying I would be very upset if I were in his position. As such, I think Chairwoman Jo is kinda the biggest villain in a sense. Because all these "monsters" were created through her training and teachings. Plus, episode 12 ending kinda proved me right in a sense.

So that is that. My little two cents on a few characters and why I think Do Kyung isn't the biggest of villains. Poor kid needed love, and that wasn't given to him. Still, he was disgusting jerk, but he needed love. If he was given that care and affection, maybe he would've been different. If Suk Min, his dad was given more love and care and approval, maybe he would've been different as well.

[dnpanimationstudioclone]

Val & Sid🔻🪞

    For my rewrite, I definitely want Sid and Val to meet and talk. 

My Sid’s pretty much the embodiment of adolescent rage and revenge at its finest, his desire for revenge against bullies drove him to the deep end, costing him his own life and almost costed others lives as well. 

My Val in my version got quite wronged by Danny(unintentionally) his recklessness and anger fighting Vlad led to him accidentally injuring Valerie’s dad, leaving him unable to keep his job. Ever since she’s been putting herself in danger and sacrificing a lot to get payback on not just Danny but the other ghosts, she deems a threat.

He’d honestly sympathize well with my Val, seeing her anger very justified and wanting to stop her from going too far and making the same mistakes he made. He also wants to help save Danny from her wrath, while he doesn’t hold it against Val for being angry with Danny, he’s still his friend and understands from his end he meant no harm and is trying to make things right and def doesn’t deserve to die.

Val- Why shouldn’t I get back at Phantom!? He’s done nothing but hurt me and I didn’t do anything to him then! AND I KNOW MY DAD DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO DESERVE WHAT HE DID! Why shouldn't I give him a taste of his own medicine!?

Sid- How do you think I ended up like this? 

Val-…

I think it’d be a good part of both their development.

Sid at this point understanding the costs of revenge and even trying to help someone who at an earlier part he would’ve considered a bully. She was possibly also one of his targets during his revenge pranks with Danny(from my ep rewrite which can be found in his links) He finally sees the world's not all black and white, but many shades…of gray. He also has a habit of jumping to conclusions and assuming only the worst in jerks and bullies, and also relates to Val there as well(her assuming only the worst in ghosts). With Val being a former A-Lister and wasn't always the nicest person, he realizes there really could be more than meets the eye and that people can genuinely change and grow.

For Val, she’s having to see one of the worst case examples of what can happen to her if she keeps continuing this path of revenge and blind rage and how it can easily cost her everything or worse, make her into someone worse and end up continuing the vicious cycle( he who fights monsters or in this case she who fights ghosts). She also ends up realizing atleast that with ghosts, it’s also not always as black and white like she thinks, meeting a ghost that actually sympathizes and relates to her…even if it doesn’t make her stop hunting, it atleast makes her realize she shouldn’t just deem all ghosts as evil and dangerous, or that they deserve to all be wiped out.

Ngl I can imagine Sid’s mantis half really respect and even want to help Val or atleast leave Phantom for her to take out. He has a code for personal arches. I can even see her call Val “ladybug” for her color scheme and can be a formidable predator to insects like the Praying Mantis🐞

He respects her “as a fellow hunter for vindication”. And at this point, she’s also gotten good development and changed her attitude, making her no longer the type of target he’d go after unless provoked by her first.

Overall I think they really could benefit from meeting each other.

I can honestly see Tangled, Nothing Left To Loose fit them very well, Sid trying to discourage Val on her vendetta quest.

Here's info on my versions and how my Sid died

Valerie

Sidney

How he died

[mental-health-advice]

Hi, I just wanted to vent and ask for advice. I'm a 14F, and I've been struggling with anxiety. I haven't been diagnosed, or even tested because I can't tell anyone anything that I've been struggling with. I've never cried, it started when I cried after I got hurt at a sports game and my dad told me to stop crying. I can't remember if he said this, but I remember the words "you're embarrassing yourself" that could be the start of my deprecating thoughts. I struggle with self love sometimes. I just look in the mirror and I think to myself that I look ugly. I even look back at old photos and videos I thought I looked good in and just see some ugly girl. I'm not exactly the most social person, but I don't have trouble talking to most people. I tend to be loud and boisterous(?) during class with my friends and with boys I like. I'm not here to talk about boys though. I just feel all this pressure on me which I put on myself. I have to be the smartest, the nicest, not a mean person although I have mean humor sometimes. I have to not say anything because my brother is having anxiety etc. issues and my parents think I'm the "normal" one. I have to be cool, and I've started to crack. I cry every second day. I used to not cry for a year, have one bad day, and cry for 5 minutes. I was 10-13. Am I in the wrong? Is something messed me up? My parents aren't abusive, they tell me and my brother they love me all the time. But one time I didn't get any information about an award at my school and my mum questioned it. She didn't think I wasn't going to get an award because I get them all the time. Because of my intelligence which I put pressure on myself for. I can't talk to anyone and it makes my parents upset and I have no solutions. Even now I'm trying to cry but I'm thinking that I'm being dramatic, and I'm not worth being able to cry and I'm thinking that I have no problems worth crying. This isn't helping the weight on my chest and in my throat go away even though it usually works. I just feel so worthless sometimes and I wonder if Im a poorer version of myself that I used to be. Am I really the best me? Because I can't help but feel that past mes would hate seeing me as I am now.

The thing I'm asking you guys is what to do? Im not able to try counseling because I can't talk to anyone. Please help if you can, but if you can't don't worry about it. Please respond though so I know you have no solutions.

Thanks,

M

Hey there,

Firstly, there is always a solution/s to any problems that a person may have, sometimes you just need to think outside of the box to find them!

It is quite normal to cry, even on a regular basis and so I find it unusual to hear of a person who may not cry for a whole year only to then have a bad day or two, cry for a short period of time and then not cry for another year or so. I am not saying that this doesn’t happen, but crying is a healthy way of getting through life and especially if we are having (like you mentioned) a really bad day or if you are struggling with something or feel as though everything is just way too much and you just need an outlet of some kind to release what may be building up or erupting from inside of you.

It must have been so difficult for you when your Dad mentioned to you that when you cried after being injured at a sports game, that he told you to stop because you were embarrassing yourself. Sometimes, crying can just be automatic. So for example something happens or we get hurt either physically or emotionally and so our immediate reaction is to cry. This is OK. This is normal. And so maybe it was more to do with your Dad feeling uncomfortable with the fact that you were crying, even though in life, there is nothing wrong at all with crying and it is something that we all do and at times cannot control.

I am so sorry that you feel as though you cannot speak up to your parents in regards to your own struggles due to your brother having his own anxieties and other things going on for him. It’s important to know though that you are important too though and your parents won’t love you any less for allowing yourself to tell them that you struggle with anxiety yourself but often feel like you have to be completely OK and/ or the normal one. Often when we have siblings who struggle and it is known by our parents, we can often feel overlooked or not get as much attention as compared to our other sibling/s due to our parents feeling as though we do not need as much because we are OK and normal. This is why it’s important to try to be as honest as you can with your parents because as you already said the cracks are starting to show, and so wouldn’t it be easier to let them know now before you begin to feel worse or things start getting worse for you? It’s never too late to put your hand up to your parents or anyone really and just say ‘help’ or ‘I’m not OK either’, so I would gently recommend you talking to your parents if you feel able and comfortable in doing so – even if it’s through a letter if this is easier for you to do.

In regards to struggling with self-love, it sounds as though you may have low self-esteem and so you look down upon yourself and everything that you do and see about and within yourself. So it may be beneficial to work on building up your self-esteem slowly – I say slowly because if we do anything too fast then we can easily become overwhelmed which will only worsen the situation.

So, how can a person build up their self-esteem?

You could try to do things like each week or day thinking of one thing about yourself that you actually like. It could be in regards to your personality or something about your looks. So for me, one thing I really do like about myself is my hair – I don’t know why but I just do and feel as though I’d be lost without it!

Another idea may be to write out a list of positive things about yourself. So, what are you good at? What qualities do you have about yourself? Are you a caring and kind person. Are you better at one thing over another. What do you enjoy doing. What are your favourite hobbies or interests. Writing out positive things about yourself (and they could include anything) can be really helpful and especially re-reading through them when we are really struggling, it can also help us to think about other things we like and can re-enforce to us that we are actually an OK person and there is nothing wrong with us at all!

Also trying to be kind to yourself and allowing yourself to feel whatever emotion that comes up. So whether this is anger, sadness, happiness or joy. Allow these emotions to come and go and remind yourself that any emotion you are feeling is OK and is completely valid. Meaning that it’s also OK to cry, about anything, big or small. We all find ourselves crying at different things depending on the person we are inside, so never doubt or feel like you shouldn’t be crying yourself – it’s OK and is a valid thing to do whenever you need to!

I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going well!

Take care,

Lauren

[notasapleasure]

Sneak peek: Brassian (Andor) saga AU

Soooo. I thought I'd post the first three chapters here and let everyone just have a say, if they want? I will answer questions on whatever you like, no really, you want an essay, I can give you an essay.

I think probably the key thing is like...in this setting the essential community aspect of Ferrix can't be the Icelandic community as a whole, because to make it a story just about the Norwegian 'empire' coming in would mean either making it the usual 'noble viking pagan vs. xian creep missionaries' story (YAWN) or setting it later, like, several centuries later, which takes it away from the genre I'm playing with most, which can still include monsters and zombies and far-flung adventures at foreign courts. So Brasso and Cassian are outsiders in the Icelandic farming community, as are all the people you'd associate with them in terms of the good guys on Ferrix - Salman and his family (smiths), Bix and her family (wise-women), Maarva and Clem (well. you'll see.). The Ferrix community is the group of weirdos who don't quite fit in. &lt;3

In terms of the kinds of weirdos they are, well, I'm building a lot of it on specific examples from the sagas and tweaking details here and there. Ask me about any of it that piques your curiosity, please!

Thanks to @notfromcold for tagging me in the last sentence meme. This is somewhat more than a last sentence, but hey!

Also - it's first person, because Brasso decided it was going to be first person. And probably needs CW for period/setting typical bigotry and abusive parenting at the least - the trope of the coal-biter (a lazy son who disappoints his good viking parents before growing into a hero in his teens) is a common saga trope, but I've combined it with the 'son of the slave woman' trope (in a way that isn't 'wow I'm secretly a prince'), so Brasso's family isn't the nicest. It's emerged from various collective fanons I think, around his dad maybe/probably being a jerk and him having approximately a million sisters. Also from the saga stuff you can ask about if you want.

The Saga of the Coal-biter and the Skraeling

1. Coal-Biter

I was born the year they discovered Vinland the Good. My father was pleased - at long last he had a son to take his name. He had such high hopes for trade with the new land, and for me. His wife would have liked me more if I'd been hers, but she agreed to raise me alongside her brood of daughters nonetheless, and she was not unkind.

My sisters doted on me and scolded me by turns like the seething flock of geese in the yard - I would be their beloved plaything one moment and a hassle, a cuckoo to be resented, the next. Of course, I didn't know what a cuckoo was as a child, and my mother grew up far beyond the lands where they are found, so I only learned about these birds whose oversized young take over a nest and transplant the sitting chicks when I first travelled to Norway. But it was the same for me, nonetheless - I was disproportionate in that little house filled with fine, willowy people. I grew strong and broad, tall and dark, and my step-mother said I was of the people of Thrall, not like her children, born to the line of Snoer and Erna. Bearing that in mind, I could have done worse than be named as I am - Brastr, from my size and manner, became the more familiar Brasso.

At least, this is what my sisters liked to call me - my father found it babyish and inappropriate. I was still too young to know when his pride turned into scorn, but as I grew and grew, and remained perplexed by his obsession with 'going viking' or great deeds of a 'manly' ilk, he began to curse me and say I would never amount to anything. He would have disowned me, I'm sure, only he had paid handsomely for Sigurd, the priest of Thor, to confirm I was his when I was born, and then he had shown me off to all his peers at the public assembly, as my step-mother later told me. It would have been embarrassing for him to have gone back on such a confident announcement, I suppose.

So he called me Coal-biter. He came in from the yard one morning and, with frost-cold hands, claimed he was trying to wipe the dirt off my cheeks.

"I asked you to sharpen those knives for me boy, and you've spent the morning rolling about in the ash instead!"

I was sitting by the central hearth, away from the draught of the door, close to the good light so I could see what I was doing as I worked. He was right, I had not sharpened his knives. Truth be told, I did one and then realised how good it would be for whittling the small piece of driftwood I'd salvaged from the beach. I used the beautifully clean new blade to follow the contours of the wood, feeling the layers of it soften when I peeled then back as the callus on my thumb hardened. I still didn't know what shape lay within the salvage - something twisty and cunning. A fox, maybe? - but my father stopped me from finding out. He slapped it from my hands into the fire, and the knife landed in amongst the embers too - its bone handle was engulfed by clean new flames.

My cheeks burning - from the cold of his fingers, from the shame I felt whenever he wiped my face like that, from the anger at losing my project - I glared into the features of this old man who had once been a fearsome pirate and warrior. He didn't scare me, not even then, and I think that's why he came to hate me so much.

"Ash-boy! Coal-biter!" he barked, pinching my cheek and slapping my forehead. "You sit here in the dust all day with the women, getting under their feet while they do the work they need to do. Your skin is filthy with it, your hair is black as soot!"

I made some meagre complaint - "That's just its colour. You liked my mother's black hair!"

Naturally it got me another slap to the face.

"Pick it up," my father seethed, pointing to the metal blade glowing among the flames.

I shook my head and set my jaw. He loved to make impossible demands and I had learned to just ignore them.

He repeated himself, his green eyes bulging, his beard yellow from fire smoke, his mouth stinking from his rotten teeth.

"I already sharpened that one," I told him, reaching for the next knife and the whetstone.

I don't know how the stalemate might have ended - with him forcing my hand into the flames, with me stabbing him with the blunt old blade? - had my eldest sister not stepped in with the tongs and plucked the blade from the fire. She said nothing to either of us, but dropped the ember-red knife onto one of the flat stones they used for kneading bread and walked back to her weaving with a sigh.

Oh, our father would bawl and hollar at her too, but he wouldn't lay a hand on her, not when he hoped to find her a husband at the next local assembly. He left me to sharpen the knives, but he only ever called me Coal-biter after that.

A nickname like that spreads - he didn't spread it himself, that would be too shameful as well, but the serving men and women knew that gossip like that could get them an extra measure of cheese or milk or meat when they were on an errand to the nearby farms.

Have you heard about old Ásbjörn's son? He's a Coal-biter they say, yes - slow to speak, disobedient, spends his whole time lazing about the hearth, never does the jobs he's asked to do. No doubt it's down to his mother - what did Ásbjörn expect from such a creature? He might as well have fucked his horse.

I've heard them say it - I've pointed out that it takes a certain kind of imagination to come up with fucking a horse as an alternative to a serving woman, and asked them how they came to know so much about it. There's not much point picking on the servants though - I can let them take their entertainment where they find it.

So what if I was called Coal-biter? I preferred working at the fire to working out in the fields with Ásbjörn - the fire transforms things, it takes matter and makes it something else, turning wood to charcoal and rock to metal. In the fields it's damp and windy. You have to ride to get there, and I outgrew these little horses before I reached my teens. I feel top heavy on them, exposed and awkward.

I started spending time at Pakkur's forge whenever possible - he taught me how the fire worked, but I didn't really want its mysteries explaining. Instead I made myself useful scavenging old iron for Pakkur to reforge: I pulled the clinkers from wrecked boats and scoured the assembly grounds for lost items. It's amazing what the great and good leave behind after their courts are done and the silver has been exchanged - I've found brooches and pins, coins and buckles. Even a sword knop once - it had a little gold on it, Pakkur said, so we pierced it and looped a thong of leather through the back and I gave it to my step-mother to wear around her neck.

Maybe I should have given it to my birth mother, but I didn't think she'd be allowed to keep it. We don't have slaves anymore in Iceland - you hear that a lot. But when, like my mother, that's what you were before you were brought here, the freedom doesn't mean much. She's a servant, she could maybe be a servant in another household, but even now she doesn't like to speak the language - unless it's to complain about the cold - and she doesn't socialise with the others. I know so little about her - only that she was brought to this place that is so far from her home and so different to it, and the anger she holds in her heart about this isn't dimmed even when we exchange brief, shy smiles across the yard.

What could I do? It's my step-mother who was equipped to deflect my father's attention away from my work at Pakkur's, it's my step-mother who made sure I was dressed well and fed well. I knew she would appreciate the necklace, too - she learned that her position was in no way threatened by me or my mother now, and it meant she felt able to pity me somewhat. So when my father threatened to hand the farm over to his son-in-law she persuaded him to wait.

It was a kind gesture, though I didn't want the farm - I didn't really want any of it. I dreamed of worlds beyond my homeland where there were other things to do, things that weren't farming or feuding. Where I could go to the places called towns and see new faces on every turn, not the same old cast of petty smallholders.

2. Skraeling

Speaking of new faces, I was a teen when Maarva and Clem returned from Greenland with their curious cargo. It gave the whole island something new to talk about.

How should I describe Maarva and Clem? I hadn't known them terribly well before, they left Iceland first when I was young, excited by the prospects of the new land Leif Eiríksson had discovered.

As a kid I heard the rumour that Maarva had been a chieftain's daughter - somewhere remote and peculiar and filled with giants, like Gotland - and she'd certainly been married before Clem, but I imagine she'd have been terribly young. She'd travelled, so probably her first husband had been a trader in the east. At the summer assembly she used to tell us stories of elephants and lions, giant gold-hoarding ants and men with dogs' heads. She said she'd seen it all.

At some point she must have been widowed and left reliant on the mercy of a Norse colony far away, east and south, down near the centre of the known world. It was here she'd met Clem.

With his deep black skin, Clem was an enigma to most of us - he spoke Norse well, but saved his words for Maarva by and large. He was handy with the law, which he memorised as soon as he got here, and a fast friend of Pakkur's. He valued the old and the new equally, because in our society all was novel to him. He found our gods quaint and never tried to explain his own. He wasn't quick to violence, but the first guy who called him blámaðr to his face lost his leg below the knee in the duel that followed. After that, everyone was just happy to call him Clem.

Clem didn't tell stories of exotic animals or ferocious gladiators, but sometimes, in a wistful moment, he would describe stranger wonders: great round buildings shining inside beneath gold ceilings, like each one had a sun captured in the rafters. Lands where sweet fruit grew to the size of your fist, not like the fingernail-sized blueberries we foraged for, and where the air was as warm as our hot springs but scented with exotic flowers and perfumes rather than sulphur. Regular days and nights, good weather and plentiful food - it all sounded as absurd as Maarva's cynocephali and Blemmyes. I don't know that any of us believed Clem and Maarva's stories - few of the adults took this odd couple entirely seriously, and we tacitly picked up on that. But I've since seen those things Clem described, and I've ridden an elephant just as Maarva told me was possible. There was more of the world on their little farm, it turned out, than on the whole of my island home.

And there was even more of it when they came back from Greenland.

The stories had been coming back about skraelings for years, and we all knew them and repeated them and embellished them:

Don't play at the harbour, I heard a skraeling stowed away and it lives in the rocks and eats children!

They have one giant foot and they hop from stone to stone! They use them to crush grapes as big as your head and make wine that doesn't give you a hangover!

Their eyes are big and black like a seal's and if you look into them you'll fall under their spell!

Well. That last one might have been true.

Maarva and Clem brought back a skraeling child, or so we all supposed. When he finally chose to tell his story it went beyond the borders of even our knowledge of the world and our imaginative capacities. But for the first while, he was a skraeling to us, a boy rescued from his own land following some kind of disagreement at a trading meet.

Maarva's version of the story was all breeze and bluster; Clem's was cagey and lacking in detail. But what I first heard from our servants when they came back with timber bought and cut from Maarva's woodland, was this:

Our settlers had travelled from Greenland to Leif's trading outpost in Vinland. The skraelingar came with cloth, hide and food to swap for iron. On the occasion Maarva and Clem went with a party to trade, someone had resolved to swindle someone and soon blows were exchanged - no two people agreed on which side started it. The locals used flying rocks and sharp stone arrows with deadly precision, but they had no swords, and even those who weren't proud of it didn't deny that the Norse colonists had the upper hand.

In the telling, our servants claimed it was a blood-bath - the children who heard the story had nightmares for weeks. With relish, the servants described a boy abandoned amidst the carnage, sitting bewildered among dead bodies, too astonished to flee or fight back. Maarva had taken pity on him and adopted the child rather than leave him to starve in the forests of Vinland.

Later, when I was cynical enough to reconsider the context for Maarva's pity, I also heard a version where she single-handedly drove the skraelingar out of the camp. Something about beating a sword against her bare breasts, advancing upon the enemy and nearly tripping over the boy who had been knocked unconscious by one of the flying weapons. I was never brave enough to ask her about that take on events.

They called the boy Andar, claiming he stopped breathing when they found him and that Clem returned his breath, andar, to him. The boy soon made it clear he already had a name and it was Cassian. The nickname Kass - locked box - was a compromise he made with reluctant Norse tongues, but Clem was careful always to articulate the full word, and Maarva did try, when she remembered.

Cassian brought trouble to the Norse settlement in Greenland. He had not asked to be adopted or rescued, and presumably saw his new situation in a rather different light to how it was intended. Apparently, he made such a noise with his screaming and fighting that livestock miscarried and milk turned. The other colonists said he was a curse and he was the source of skraeling magic that was going to bring about their ruin. Maarva and Clem stood by him, but when, in an inarticulate fury, the boy smashed up a boat and an outhouse, they had no choice but to move away - or face the harsh vengeance of their neighbours.

So Maarva, Clem and Kass the skraeling came back to Iceland, and the unwary among us fell under a spell.

3. Tern

As a teen I'd grown tall, but hadn't yet fully broadened out, and I felt like there was nowhere on the island I could hide - I towered over most of the scrubby birch trees and spindly rowans, and no matter how poor the summer weather was, my skin darkened like roasted rye under the long hours of daylight. I was still a Coal-biter to the other boys, to my father and his friends, but when my sisters had visitors the women would gather behind their looms and giggle at me, whispering things behind their long white fingers. It made me uneasy, and I didn't know why, so despite the weather I resigned myself to staying in the outfields with the sheep, or I combed the rocky river beds for lost fish hooks I could take to Pakkur.

Pakkur was dark, maybe like me, though he claimed not to know where his family came from before settling in Iceland. He preferred to say that black was the colour of the forge: it was fitting that his hair and beard should be charcoal black and steely silver, and of course his skin tanned like leather in the blast of the furnace. He said it was a sign I should learn the craft too, but I never did respond well to anyone suggesting a path for me.

I was capable of all I had been tasked with, but it all somehow felt hopeless. I didn't understand where it was meant to lead. Wandering the riverbeds took me away from future concerns - farms and families and all sorts of distasteful responsibilities - where all I did was let my eyes comb over the different coloured rocks, seeking a tell-tale anomaly in the texture or tone that would bring my attention to a lost twist of iron.

During one such meditation I had wandered far from my father's lands, meandering inland through the lava-fields that ringed Clem and Maarva's farm. Maarva Kerski had a great big wolfhound called Bí, and when I heard barking I flinched, assuming I was about to be scolded for trespassing.

I knew Bí couldn't outrun me anymore - he'd been an old dog when they'd left for Greenland with him, and no one had expected him to return with them. But he still had a bark that could cause landslides - and maybe I had finally learned a guilty conscience from my father's strict lessons. I stood still as a tree in the middle of the stony beach and scanned the grey, craggy landscape for a grey, craggy dog.

When I finally spotted him, Bí wasn't even looking at me. I saw his long tail wag urgently by his shaky legs. He was poised at the edge of the lava field, facing into the uneven terrain with single-minded intent. Again he barked, and I saw when he did that a bird rose up from the rocks with a scream. It hovered momentarily and Bí barked again, and then the bird dove with fury and the small yell that followed was muffled by the breeze.

Without hesitation, I struck out towards Bí, eyeing up the furious bird as cautiously as he did. It was summer, and the terns had been nesting along the river. I knew the spots they used and I knew how to deflect their attention when I was egg-hunting. I also knew when it was better to avoid these areas because the eggs had hatched and the adults would defend their chicks like a hail of spearheads.

Someone in the lava field had not known about this, apparently. The tern dived again, and again I heard a miserable cry.

By now I think I'd guessed who it was, and I pitied the stranger who had come to this land full of murderous birds and abrasive, treacherous rocks. Until then I hadn't seen the boy. I'd heard all the stories and listened with weary exasperation - at least they'd found someone more peculiar than me or my mother to gossip about. I wasn't introspective enough to draw a deliberate parallel between this abducted boy and my mother's own past, but maybe I linked them subconsciously.

"Where is he, Bí?" I stumbled over the crumbly boulders until I could see what Bí could see. Curled  in a crevasse, arms over his head, was the boy I had heard called Kass. It was too far to see if he was injured or trapped, but the tern attacked him so relentlessly I could see he wasn't going to get up even if he could.

I pulled my sheepskin vest up over my head and shoulders, thinking of Maarva's story about the Blemmyes whose faces were in the middle of their chests. Had she told the story to the boy? Is that what he'd make of this tall, brown-skinned stranger stumbling headlessly towards him?

Slowly, carefully, I picked my way over the rocks, taking care not to step on fresh moss that would slip away under my weight, or to rely on thin, brittle spires of lava that would disintegrate if touched. No one in their right mind came out in a lava field, ever - where had Kass even been going?

As I drew near, I proved a more alarming prospect for the tern, and it changed tack to dive at me. I cursed as I felt its weight on my vest, its beak plucking at the sheep's wool, wings battering my hands and head. I shook it off and it came again, catching the skin of my hands with its claws or its beak.

"Bugger off!" I snarled, and when I was next able to concentrate I saw the boy Kass staring up at me with those dangerous big eyes the stories had warned us about. He was a handful of years younger than me I guessed, with sallow skin like mine and round, deep irises of a brown so dark it seemed black when I first looked. There was blood on his face, but the cuts were on his arms. His trousers had torn and his knees and palms were grazed, but he still looked like he might run rather than go anywhere I told him to. One small hand tightened on a fistful of gravel and stones and I stood still and shrugged beneath my ridiculous shield. Getting a handful of grit in the face for my heroics wasn't exactly what I'd bargained on. The tern battered me again, and again I flapped around to drive it off.

To my surprise, the boy's distant, fearful expression shifted slightly - like a glacier in the weeks before it calves, when something is about to slip. His lips twitched and he laughed. He pointed to his neck and said something in a strange, melodious language and laughed again.

"No, I don't have a neck," I said, with less good humour than I should have. "The terns pecked it away. Are you coming, or not?"

His eyes narrowed mistrustfully again, and to my surprise he repeated some of my words: "Coming? Not with you." He shook his head.

"Back to your home," I said in exasperation, expecting another collision with an angry bird at any moment. "To Maarva and Clem." There was a bark from behind, and I belatedly added, "To Bí!"

He winced, and I knew to expect the tern again, so I mostly deflected its blow this time. Kass studied me with more seriousness than I think anyone in my life had shown me to that point.

"Home," he said gloomily, and then reeled off a list of words that might have been synonyms - or curses. "Coming to Bí, ok," he finally stood up and brushed the dirt from his clothes, and I slipped off my vest and held it out to him, squinting up at the sky nervously as I did.

"Wear it - it's thick, their beak doesn't go through the leather."

His skinny arm dipped with the weight of it when he took it, but he held on and looked up at me piercingly. "Me..." he swung it over his head as I'd worn it. "But you?"

I shrugged again and waved my arms for good measure as the tern circled. It gave an angry shriek and swooped close to my hand, but not close enough for me to knock it away.

Kass watched and then beckoned me down to his level with a gesture.

I didn't follow at first, but when I finally crouched down, trying to explain that the bird would attack anyway, he put his foot on my leg without asking and scaled me like I was one of my father's horses, wrapping his wiry limbs about my neck and chest and making sure the sheepskin covered both our heads.

"Hup!" he laughed in my ear, and I had to laugh too as I got to my feet. He didn't weigh much back then and I was already strong, so I hooked my arms under his knees and hoisted him to a more comfortable position before beginning to pick a way back to Bí at the edge of the lava field.

That was my first lesson in how he got away with so much - he'd do what he wanted without asking, and be so utterly charming (not to mention right) that you couldn't be mad about it after the fact.

When we reached Bí the boy made no effort to get down but laughed delightedly as the old dog barked and bounced stiffly about my feet. He shouted "Hup!" again and I had to indulge him like I indulged my nieces and nephews - I broke into a lumbering run across the riverbed, moving quickly enough to make Kass shriek with happiness but not so quickly that Bí was left behind. We staggered and giggled our way like that back to Maarva and Clem's homefield, and I set him down to check the cuts the tern had given him. Bí circled around and then flopped in a dusty patch of earth in the doorway, his pink tongue lolling and his tail patting happily against the ground.

A house-keeper came out with a paste to clean the scratches and grazes Kass had suffered, and he turned sullen and wooden-faced until I took the stuff from her and she went inside with a sigh. He was a stoic patient, watching me flick grit out of the frayed skin of his knees and palms and not flinching at all (I noticed his eyes well up, but pretended not have seen it). By way of distraction, I gestured to myself with the rag. "Brasso. That's me. I live over there," I flailed an arm in an unhelpful manner. "Ásbjörn's farm," I added, out of grudging, cultivated habit.

His eyes flicked to the horizon and then he tried the word out: "Brasso." It was refreshing to hear my name spoken without reprimand or warning, and the pronunciation gave him no trouble.

I wasn't as cosmopolitan as this young thing, though. He pulled his grazed hand from my grip and pointed firmly at his sternum, holding my eyes with determination. "Cassian," he said.

It had an unfamiliar cadence, and it took me a few tries - "Kass-een. Kassa-en. Kass. Í. An. Cassian."

It was worth the embarrassment of getting my tongue tangled when he beamed and nodded at my eventual success.

Clem rode into the homefield while the boy was still laughing at my pronunciation, and the first I knew of this was the way Cassian's face stilled again and he turned silent and watchful. It didn't have the same sullenness as when the house-keeper had come out, though, rather it seemed a silence of waiting, of respectful curiosity.

"Hullo, made a friend have you, Cassian?" Clem dismounted and wandered over to us, his horse trailing after. He was tall, but he nevertheless always looked regal on the little horses. "You're Ásbjörn's son, aren't you?"

I stood and blurted out, "That's what he paid the priest to say, yes sir." I wasn't always so good at keeping my mouth shut in my teenage years - I was too accustomed to winding up my father, because it was so easy to do.

Clem just blinked politely. "Brastr, isn't it?"

To both our surprise, Cassian got up and stood between us. "Brasso," he corrected Clem.

Before I could explain that it was just a nickname, Clem opened his palms in apology. "Brasso. Of Harkastadur."

I nodded, wary of Clem's gentle expression and his scrupulously polite accent. I supposed he expected me to explain myself, so I shuffled and glanced at Cassian. "The terns were attacking him. I heard Bí barking and went to help."

Clem did not ask me how I came to be on his land, he just looked at Cassian and sighed. "Did you try to run away across the lava field again?"

The boy dipped his chin and scowled. Something possessed me to intervene, and I said quickly: "He was just by the river. The nests are well hidden this year. I guess...they don't have terns in Vinland?"

Clem smiled generously at my clumsy attempt to cover for a boy who probably didn't even realise that's what was happening. "They do have terns in Vinland. Leif's 'lucky' camp was plagued with them in the first year. Some artisan made a bunting of their corpses and we had to endure the smell of wind-dried sea-bird all summer."

I did what I did with my father and doubled down on a stubborn expression that defied the reality presenting itself to me. Unlike my father, it made Clem laugh and shake his head ruefully. "Look, as you're here and you helped Cassian out, I have some scrap iron you can take for Pakkur."

I glanced at Cassian, who studied me with renewed curiosity, perhaps wondering how I had managed to deflect a scolding he figured he was due.

"At least I know if he makes it across the lava field next time he'll find someone who'll take care of him," Clem said softly, noticing some frisson of hesitation.

I nodded dumbly, offered Cassian a little wave and followed Clem to the back of the longhouse. I was halfway home before I realised I'd left my sheepskin vest behind.

[thatblondeperson]

Hiyah,Woc!Stephanie anon here!!Sorry for taking a bit to get back to you,i kept forgetting to check the Timsteph tag to see if you'd awnsered😅But yeah,i'm here to explain why i love woc Stephanie and interracial Timsteph <3

Stephanie is an absolutely amazing character.She's an abuse victim who's kind and sweet not because she's 'pure' but because she works hard to be and is always allowed to hate her dad for abusing her and she's also very funny and a genius,as well as strong asf but still very feminine.I think you can see from all these points why she'd definitely be good rep for woc and i see her as jamaican/south korean specifically because we need more blasian rep!There's just something really nice about the thought of a female character who is biracial and not a stereotype but rather her own fully fleshed out character

And for Timsteph,Tim may not always be the nicest person(slightly off topic but i haaaate it when people use that to bash him,he's a 17 year old abuse victim who iirc has never been to therapy,i think he's allowed to be mean sometimes)but it's very obvious that he loves Stephanie and just wants what's good for her,even if he dosen't always know what it is.They had so many cute moments together and words cannot describe how much i love it when black girl are in romances with guys who treat them with the adoration they deserve(and girls too👀but JSHDHF).Also,Tim would absolutely love to learn about Stephanie cultures!!I can just picture him asking dumb but not offensive white boy questions😭

(Sorry for making this so long but i think i got all my points out and i hope you enjoy♡)

I genuinely think making Stephanie a woman of color is such a great concept, but it has to be handled delicately as you said, not turning her into a stereotype. There are so many fans out there who are POC who handle the headcanon with grace and make compelling posts about it! And then there's the subset of fans, most seem to be white, who specifically headcanon just Steph and Jay as black (and Tim as Asian) and a lot of that seems to be rooted in stereotypes and misunderstandings of the character.

I think like what you said, when you actually get into the layers of Stephanie's character and who she is, her character, there is a lot of good points to be made in favor of her being a WOC. I look at a woman like Chandler Kinney for example, since black headcanons for Steph can be fairly common and I was curious to see who I would see as her, and I'm like, yeah, I can see Steph.

Her intelligence, her determination, her compassion, her boldness, her softness. I think if it were to be done, I'd be happy to see it. I haven't seen any headcanons for Jamaican or Korean and I love that mix for her, I would love to see if you have any fancasts for her since I'm always curious for new takes!

Tim being Mr. Research on her culture is also so sweet, and just being very doting. Like, I'd love love that.

I love all your points you made and I so love all of this! Thank you for sharing, anon!! ♥ ♥ ♥

[your-resident-boat-person]

I think it also has a lot to do with the individual. Is this particular old person an asshole? If the answer is yes then nothing they say is of value. If the answer is no, then the things they say are probably informed by years of wisdom that could be imparted on you.

A good example are 2 of my grandparents. My moms mom, and my dad's dad. My grandmother is a bored old woman who likes to start in-fighting between her kids and grand kids. She's told lies that had my mom stop talking to her brothers altogether for half a decade. This shit only came out like a year ago and my mom is finally on speaking terms with them again now that they know what caused this was a lie. Even when she isn't being an asshole, and you're holding a pleasant conversation with her, nothing she's saying is really of value. She's just kinda talking at you.

My grandfather on the other hand, is a very different story. He wasn't the nicest guy, but his personality is very "good" if that makes sense. He was a mechanic, and his father was a mechanic, so he's been working on cars since before he was in kindergarten. He would always tell me that he knew fractions before they were taught in school because of wrench sizes, but when he finally learned them in school, it didn't really make sense any more because wrench sizes are kinda a different thing. Anyway, the point is that he has a lot of life experience, and he's eager to teach people and encourage them to actually think. As a mechanic, he had to figure out a lot of creative ways to fix problems. He actually invented this thing that runs on compressed air that automatically shakes up spray paint. He legit has inventions. And I have a really good example of this "outside the box" thinking. One day, the wind caught the glass door on their front porch in a way that whipped it open and slammed it shut, sending glass all over the front porch. Being the good (and very bored) child that I was, I offered to clean it up for them. I was given a bucket, a broom, and a dustpan. I was sitting there for half an hour trying to get that glass into the dust pan. They had a really big doormat that was essentially just a rug, and sweeping things off of it was difficult, and almost all of the glass landed on the doormat. I guess at some point, my grandfather noticed I was working on this way longer than I should have, and comes to check on me. He sees me sitting on the ground trying to sweep this glass into the dustpan, and very confusedly says "what the hell are you doing?" By this point I had made very little progress, and I was a little ashamed, and he procedes to do something that blew my mind. He picked up the door mat, and dumped the glass into the bucket. I had never even CONSIDERED doing that! I was given a tool to complete a task, and I had never actually put ant thought into what that task was, and how to complete it in a way that was easier. He accomplished in 5 seconds what I had been failing to do for half an hour. Because he just took a second to think about it.

Years later, my parents water heater was leaking. We have a pump in the basement for pumping moisture out, so thankfully, getting the water that dripped out of the water heater out of the basement wasn't difficult. However, we had to place a big bin under the valve on the water heater to catch the water, and we had to go down the basement and empty that bin into the container with the pump every few hours. If we didn't it would overflow and cause more damage. My dad is in his 50s, and he has a bad back, so this was difficult for him. So I go down the basement, and asses the problem. I think back to my grandfather and the doormat. I think, "we need get the water to the bin with the pump. Is there a way to do this without doing it manually?" So I found a hose for a vacuum cleaner, attached it to the nozzle that's dripping water, and I ran that across the room so it empties directly into the bin with the pump. Problem solved. My dad had never even considered doing anything other than emptying the bin manually. I did what my grandfather did with the glass on the door mat. I assessed the situation, and thought of potential ways to accomplish the task in a way that would require much less effort. It SEEMS simple, but no one in my family who had to go down and empty that bin ever thought to do anything else.

When my grandfather spoke, he spoke with purpose. He was trying to teach and give advice and impart wisdom that he was only able to gain over 70+ years. He doesn't want people to needlessly waste time when there is an easier alternative. He was speaking because he wanted the best for the people he was speaking to. My grandmother, on the other hand, was the exact opposite. She used her words to sow seeds of doubt and inflict pain.

Pro respecting elders in the 'listen to people with more experience than you' and 'don't discount people as automatically regressive or out of touch because of their age' sense. Very much anti respecting elders in the 'authority figures are automatically right' and 'children aren't allowed to disagree with their parents' way.

[xoluvx]

Hi love, anon here ❤️

Im going through a lot, and so is my best friend, but she's been through 10x what I've been through. Almost 2 years ago, I moved away because of family problems, and she's been having a lot of issues since then. Her mom has heart problems, and her dad isn't around. Ever. We've been best friends for 6 years now but I've been the only person really there for her. She was so happy and the nicest person you'd ever talk to. She was like a walking beam of light and joy. Every day, I miss her more and more, and I'm so grateful and blessed that I'm even considered her best friend to this day.

But I feel like lately, she's stopped trying, like with her classes that she rarely attends anymore. She doesn't talk to anybody or try to associate with anyone. And she's started to slowly drift away from me. For example, I texted her I love you and that I really care about her after we got off the phone about, once again, her boyfriend. And she said, "I love you too," "yeah," but then deleted the "I love you" message shortly after.

Her boyfriend treats her like shit, and she's always calling me crying about how he's mad at her even though she didn't do anything. I tried to convince her to break up with him, but shes too scared of being alone again.

I really feel like I should've never moved, but I also really needed to be there for my family. I want to help her but I don't know what to do and she won't listen to me anymore. I feel like such a bad friend, and I just feel so guilty about the fact that I left her knowing she had a lot going on. She almost died the other day because her boyfriend was speeding and literally almost crashed the car and got her hurt. I really don't like him, considering he makes her feel like the problem 24/7. But nobody over where she lives that I know can help her.

I desperately need advice, I'm struggling on my own as is, and I'm lost.

I apologize for the rant, but I also have nobody to talk to about this stuff because she doesn't want anyone I, or we, associate with to know about her problems.

Again, I apologize, and if you do get to this, thank you for taking the time to read it 🙏❤️

hi love 💖

wow.. that is a lot.. too much for one person to handle so thank you for being vulnerable and sharing this with me. i know it must have not been easy.

oh this is really difficult. i can understand you feeling worried for you friend and that situation she is in. i can also understanding feeling guilty and feeling like you've "abandoned" her. there are just some people who will not accept the help they need and it's truly disheartening for everyone involved in this situation.

you shouldn't have to carry that burden with you, love. there is only so much you can do for someone who struggles accepting help or flat out refuses to listen to a voice of reason.

i don't have much advice.. this is a very tough situation but i am sending you lots of love, positivity, and hugs!!! i know you need them baby 💖

don't be so hard on yourself!! you are one person. you are human and all your feelings are valid.

[kcyars99]

Opinion: Don't put rock stars on a pedestal - Dave Grohl warned us he wasn't a saint

The Foo Fighters frontman and 'nicest guy in rock 'n' roll' has fathered a child 'outside of my marriage'. Shocked fans ought to remember he always said he was only human

September 11, 2024 12:50 pm (Updated September 11, 2024 3:59 pm)

There goes our hero. Last night, on Instagram, Dave Grohl of Foo Fighters dropped the bombshell that he has fathered a child out of wedlock, and fans of his frills-free heavy rock band were devastated. No matter what you think of Foo Fighters’ music – and many would regard it as an appalling dumbing down of the post-punk onslaught of his previous group, Nirvana – Grohl is a beloved figure within music.

It isn’t just because he is regarded as embodying all the positives of rock ’n’ roll – in particular a belief in crunching riffs and mosh-pit-friendly melodies as a source of communal joy. It’s because he has served as an inspiring example of a nice guy finishing first. As anyone who has crossed paths with Grohl will tell you, he is approachable, appreciative of his fans and never gives the impression of being too big for his boots. The cliché about never meeting your idols does not apply to the Foo Fighters singer.

But clearly, he can be naughty as well as nice. Having cheated on his wife of 21 years, Jordyn Blum, and betrayed his three daughters, aged 18, 15 and 10, Grohl has shown that he is just another fast-living rock star who treats the world as his personal rumpus room. But the betrayal goes beyond the merely private. Nirvana, whom he joined as a drummer after their 1989 debut LP Bleach, stood against all the old bloated clichés of rockers as womanising bad boys. They represented something bigger than their music – a value system to which Grohl has given two fingers.

As the story plays out, there are suggestions on social media that Grohl is guilty of hypocrisy. The argument is that he dined out on his wholesome image as a rock ’n’ roll dad – purposefully playing up to the persona of regular guy from the suburbs who happened to front an arena-filling rock band.

That is certainly how he was perceived, and it explains the shocked reaction to the news of his extramarital exploits. Compare Grohl with a figure such as Mick Jagger. Imagine if the Rolling Stones singer admitted that he’d just sired a love child. Would anyone be surprised? Of course not – it tallies with his fire and brimstone image.

In Grohl’s defence, he has never pretended to be perfect. He barely mentions his wife in his 2021 autobiography, The Storyteller – judging from the book, the important women in his life are his mother, Virginia, and his daughters, Violet, Ophelia and Harper.

However he also admits to indulging in some of rock ’n’ roll’s oldest vices. In one chapter, he writes enthusiastically about travelling to Texas in the hope of visiting a strip club owned by metal band Pantera. He confesses, too, that, as Foo Fighters became successful, he abandoned the ascetic values of Nirvana and of the late 1980s alternative pop scene from which they had emerged.

“I felt liberated in a way that made me want to indulge in the things I had been holding back from all those years. And hold back, I did not,” he writes. He doesn’t go into details regarding what he describes as his “gluttonous debauchery” – beyond saying that “any timidity that I’d once had when it came to letting my hair down was gone”.

“Gluttonous debauchery” is hard to square with Grohl’s nice-guy image. But he never sought that label and seemed frustrated when I asked him about it back in 2011.

“I always felt it was kind of funny that I got the nicest guy in rock thing… I’m not a f**king saint, you know. If I wanted to be a priest, I’d be a f**king priest,” he said, promoting Foo Fighters’ Wasting Light album. “I always laughed at the nicest man in rock thing. Yeah, I could sit around in the pub and make you laugh for an hour. It isn’t that one-dimensional. I’m a f**king human being, you know.”

We now know how much of a “human being” he is. He is also a rock star with all the temptations of the world at his fingertips. Men in his position have been indulging their selfish side – and hurting those around them – since the dawn of the music business.

If we’re shocked that Grohl would stick his hands in the cookie jar, then it’s fair to ask who is to blame for that reaction. The singer for his private betrayal of his nearest and dearest? Or his audience for putting him on a pedestal he never sought and which, reading past comments, he never really felt he deserved? 



[dear3st-dead-diary]

Dearest Dead Diary~

Today is my day off work, I got a job through a series of odd events.

While on my cocain and amphetamines bender I slept with an acquaintance of mine to "lose his virginity" and I have little to no recollection of that other than having a three way and dragging him into it.

Fast forward 2 months, that person because a friend of my roomates and thier friend group and now has hired me full-time at his company.

The work is interesting but back breaking and I've gained more muscle in 6 days than I have in the last 6 years going to the gym.

I'm slowly paying off my credit card although I keep having to use it because minor emergencies and inconveniences keep arising. So thats.. life I guess but damn.

Regardless, the job is high paying and I'm slowly getting better at it, I van officially say I work a job that's 100 times more dangerous than being a cop. (Acab lmao.)

I'm working with machinery I never even knew existed, like damn there be some specific ass machines in this world.

However, I keep sleeping with my boss. The money is good. Insanly good. And I need this job, I've never bled, sweat, nor cried so much on a job site in my life it is equally rewarding as it is back-breaking taxing.

Update: it's been a few days

I'm in a hotel, I keep having nightmares and I woke uo with the sheets of the hotel bed completely torn off and the blankets and bedding everywhere, I think I was tossing and turning. I don't know what these nightmares are, I can't remeber them but when I wake up I'm shaking and my heart is pounding.

I'm supposed to work today but, it's snowing so... I'm not quite sure, I'm currently sharing a big ass bed with my boss and I'm not gonna wake him up lmao. He's been getting on my case for "sleeping in" so.. it's my turn to wake up early and watch him panic.

Also this hotel is the NICEST hotel I've stayed in and it's only 3 stars??? It's so modern and you can tip the staff with a qr code, also the rooms feel more like a modern collage dork than a hotel so thats wild. This place was built last year so it's pretty damn new.

I've stayed in 5 star hotels before but this takes the cake. Also the t.v.s in here are 60 inches so.. hell yeah?!

I've been thinking if I should breakup with my boyfriends. I don't know why, I just.. feel like I need to start fresh, my libido has been low these past 2 weeks and I don't know why but I just... I feel like I need a clean slate. Both of my boyfriends love me.. but I genuinely can't feel it. I barely feel as it is and love is one of those emotions for me that.. doesn't full up right away.

I have a disorder where my emotions are low. I have morals and what ever but it's only learned from examples. I'm on the spectrum of just having low emotions in general, everything I feel is usually on suck a small scale.

But I still feel, it's just in small amounts, that has caused problems my entire life, but I'm good with people, I'm one of the few people who can say I actually love people, I enjoy socializing with people most days, I find people fascinating. I do earnestly like meeting new people. I think that's why I'm usually on the invite list for parties and events.

I said it was snowing but scratch that, it's a blizzard now. The company slogan says something about working through snow but in these conditions? I don't know if I'm gonna work today :(

I haven't talked to my dad in a couple of weeks, only a few texts here and there, apparently the lead signer of his band died. I never met her but she had a wicked voice and a really nice personality. I knew she was battling cancer. I hope she's somewhere nice.

I'm attracted to men, I'm terrified to date women, I'd rather date people who are bi or pan because I've had issues with the "do you ever wish I was a man/woman?" Questions to the point that it just gives me the ick.

I've only dated women who were older than me, I've never been able to relate to women my age until recently, I guess lockdown really put my generation on the same page. Thats advice I'm going to pass on to my siblings and younger friends, if you find it hard to relate to your peers, wait a bit, eventually everyone grows up. And some more than others, you never know who you'll he on the same page with years from now.

I've dated men younger than me by a few years, I've dated men older than me by decades. When I was 22 my boyfriend was 40. He's rolling I'm cash from his boyfriend who pays his 4000$ mortgage. Him and I are still friends.

I got back together with my ex who's 2 years younger than me. We dated for over a year and broke up for 9 months. In the spur of the moment I got back together with him but, I don't know if I love him truly, I don't know what thats spossed to feel or even look like, I used to model love after my parents but those fuckers split last year so it was all just fake lmao.

It's weird having your parents split as an adult while not living with them. They used to break up and get back together a lot when I was a kid, but they are like.. OVER over B-R-O-K-E-N broken UP. Like they don't share an address and are technically committing marriage fraud for insurance purposes broken up.

Anyhow. I was single mainly because live just felt like the fakest fucking front a person can do. Looking back that's the dumbest line of thought to think but in those moments when I was single and my parents split after decades of a front marriage. I really believed it.

My one boyfriend lives 4 hours away and the other is in the same city. I love them both, they love me, but I can't tell if it's real, in the literal sence. Like what if it's just been fake this whole time? I don't know. Is it worth it to break it off? I've been dating one on and off for 2 ½ years and the other one for almost a year.

I don't know. Maybe it's just... I don't know. I want a relationship that just feels unexpected, that's not predictable, something that feels unlikely and random. But that's just a fairy tale.

I see people who fit the ideals for a partner but they're taken, which is fine, good for them, I value the friendship I've worked hard to build with those people more than anything. I don't want to meet anyone on tinder or a hookup app, atkeast not romantically. I kinda just wanna bump into someone and we hit it off. I think my life is becoming more stable enough that if I bumped into someone and gave them my number I'd actually be able to follow through with plans to meet up and go for lunch.

Never thought I'd be able to say my life is "stable enough" but I guess things really do shift majorly the older you get. Anyhow, I'm thinking of touring collages and going back to school, or just taking the entrance exam but for the career paths I want to take I think I need to go back to school to upgrade.

Plus I'd need good enough credit for student loans and I'd need a working vehicle to take my practicum. I'm thinking of working as a mortician, or something like that. I've been medicated for a month now and this is the most ration and clear headed I've been in my life, although I'm still making "dumb" decisions but to be fair, with full intentions and a clear head.

I had a bad trip on shrooms a few days ago but it wasn't the worse I've experienced, and I'm still sane afterwards lmao. Considering I'm back at work and actually doing well enough that I might get a raise soon. But all things said I have no regrets, and I'd do it all over again. Maybe that's naivety or maybe that's my ego, but I don't want to regret anything I've done. I don't feel guilt nor remorse as strongly as the average person, if even at all, however, regret is something I refuse to live with. The standard "I could've done x-y-z. Better but whats done is done" brings me more peace thab to say I regret something. I think thats a quality I like about myself, with no regrets I make mistakes to learn and grow, and all I can do is what I think is the best thing to do for myself in the moment, even if it's temporary satisfaction.

I'm working on myself to make less long lasting mistakes *like doing a disservice to my friendships* and more miniscule short term oopsies. Like *taking shrooms on a whim that I know regardless of the trip I'd be fine to Handle*. And knowing my limits.

This year has been wild but it really took a 180 when I got medicated. I'm happy to say now, I feel rational and capable of taking control of my own life. I know this reads as contradictory but in hindsight I believe this is good, if I don't contradict myself I'm not growing. If I don't have regrets, I don't fear making mistakes, if I don't fear mistakes I'm not afraid to learn. And if I'm not afraid to learn, I grow and change.

Will I grow and change alone? Is it better for me to do so? I don't think that question is black and white. I think that question has 10 yesses and 10 no's and 11 maybes and 14 perhaps while endlessly answering itself to better suit whatever temporary gratification is needed in each moment of its application.

Anyways, my boss is awake and I need breakfast. The longer I write this the more I hate it.

Your mentally unstable

(And masking it)

- A

[ruminate88]

What marriage after toxic relationships looks like:

I talk about this a lot because it’s something I’m still trying to grasp a hold of…… so after my last relationship with my ex Andrew, he was so confusing and hurting me over and over! I cried so much over that man and kept trying to get answers from him and I felt like he would say things in the moment that he thought I wanted to hear, but I really felt like he just wanted to be done with me. Didn’t wanna spend time with me unless it was beneficial to him such as he needs nudes or something. 😝😭

I made the choice to stop contacting Andrew. Just don’t text him at all. Just leave him alone. He has a new girlfriend it’s obvious and he doesn’t love me. Yeah it sucked for me. I was in so much pain and confusion, but I moved forward with my life and 2 months later, is when I matched with my husband on the dating app “OK Cupid”. In the very first conversation I had with my husband, the atmosphere felt safe and healthy. It was the first time I did not feel anything toxic, I didn’t even know my husband yet. I didn’t understand Andrew was a manipulator that he had emotionally abused me. I had no idea!!! (I never heard of emotional abuse before)

three months I talked to my husband and I did tell him all about Andrew and Cody, but I didn’t understand that it was emotional abuse. Couldn’t explain that to my husband and at some point, my husband asked me to stop talking about my exes. I could tell that it was bothering him that it upset him and that he liked me and he wanted me to be over Andrew. I felt like my husband had my best interest at heart, so I listened to him and I started a relationship with him and I was moving on from Andrew…

OK, but a month after I start this relationship with my new man a.k.a. my husband, Andrew suddenly starts trying to FaceTime me!! I didn’t answer his FaceTime. I didn’t have a clue what he wanted. I was so nervous and shaking, curious, excited and just wondering who Andrew is and what are his intentions! 😓😳 I had to tell my new man about it and of course he wasn’t happy at all and he could tell that I was nervous so he offered to FaceTime Andrew for me!! wow!! my new man FaceTimes Andrew and tells me that he threatened Andrew to leave me alone and Andrew looked like he could cry…… That’s so weird… why would Andrew cry? I mean, Andrew broke my heart!!! cheated on me!!! Had a new girlfriend!! posted pictures of her on Instagram, when, he NEVER posted anything about me anywhere ever on any of his social media accounts! I was a complete secret the whole time we talked. He wouldn’t introduce me to his mom or dad and that sucked for me 😣 Why was I good enough for him to call babe and he literally talked with me for over a year… But yet I wasn’t good enough to know his parents or for him to tell his friends about me or to actually be with me. 😭😭😭 His actions never matched his words!! so how in this world could Andrew cry? Was he scared of my husband?

The fact that Andrew tried to come back, it shook me up and it hurt me so much. It made no sense at all!! In my attempts though to get away from Andrew, I blocked his number and I met my husband in person. 🙏🏻 we began to date, got engaged right away and then got married right away too. So now, I’m a wife to somebody and I STILL don’t know that Andrew was emotionally abusive. On my wedding day, all I could think about is I’m getting away from Andrew and he can’t stop me and he hurt me so much and I just want a new life 😣😓 but at the same time, I’m sad and confused and I know my husband is the nicest guy I ever met and we had a beautiful wedding and a beautiful honeymoon and I trusted my husband!!

After the honeymoon though, I’m super defensive all the time towards my husband and every little thing he does either triggers me or makes me upset and I overreact to my husband but I don’t know why 🥺🥺what in the world is wrong with me? For example, my husband was playing video games and there was girls online as well as guys that he was playing with and one girl in particular, kept getting online to play games with him... He talked with her over his headset right in front of me!!! I told him that made me uncomfortable that I didn’t like it and he said that it was just a video game, that he really didn’t even know her that she was way older than him and had 4 kids and they were just playing video games... He claimed he was not talking to her outside of the video game, but he knew I had been lied to and cheated on before. Why would he do that to me? My mom told me that there’s no way my husband was cheating that he works all day and comes home to me at night.(said he doesn’t have time to cheat) I should trust him but even my mom didn’t quite know what Andrew or Cody had put me through. 💔💔

another thing is, when I was dating my husband, a guy at his work was teasing him and painted our initials with a heart on the wall at work with spray paint and my husband took a picture of it, and for some reason, decided to take credit for it and sent it to me! Making me believe he made that for me… 😤 I believed him, but after we were married, one Valentine’s Day, we were out to dinner and my husband confesses that he never made that but that his group leader at work made it and he just took the credit for it… 😔 of course I was very very upset why my husband would take credit for that and why couldn’t he just tell me his group leader at work made it? There again, I feel like I’m being “lied to again” and it triggers me!!!!! SO, I overreact and I’m really really having a hard time trusting my husband… 😣 I couldn’t explain to him why it made me so upset that he lied about it when it’s such a small thing… or is it?

my husband continues to remain the same person. All the time he continues to come home at night after work and will even watch TV with me before getting on his video games. He says that he is trying to spend time with me before getting on his video games but he feels like it’s not enough for me.. 🥴 he just doesn’t understand that I’ve been neglected in all my past relationships. I’ve been used and I’m sorry that he feels he has to work so hard to prove himself BUT I’m just super hyper-vigilant!!!! I notice every little detail and every little shift in my husband’s actions or words. 😰

I consistently ask my husband if he’s OK all the time, is he happy in our marriage, does he love me and I consistently overthink everything he does or says towards me. the smallest thing, I question his intentions, and I always fear he has other girls (or even guys) on his phone he’s romantic with and on his computer too because I’ve never had a relationship where that wasn’t the case… ❤️‍🩹

What does it take for me to get over the past and embrace my husband as he is? He supports me financially, but he doesn’t support me in every area of my life as I would hope 😕 He refuses to go to church with me and he doesn’t help much around the house except pay the bills… I do everything, including taking out the trash. He has no responsibilities at home except for the bills which I know the bills are super important and his job is super important too. I’m not trying to complain , I just want to feel supported in all areas of my life, or am I overreacting?

this is all new for me and I’m uncomfortable to talk about it with my husband because last time I tried to mention anything about my past, he accused me of cheating on him and talking to other guys…… Well, if you’re accusing me, are you guilty??? I already questioned him from the beginning when he’s playing video games with a woman online after I tell him it bothers me… But I mean, it wasn’t like he was hiding it. 🤪 He was doing it right in front of me and explaining to me that he doesn’t talk to her outside of the game. There’s been a couple times i’ve went through his phone and couldn’t find anything. I have felt like I was going SO crazy! I consistently compare him to Andrew and Cody and I HATE it so much. 😣 When can I remove this wall that’s between my husband and I??

[nastymensimp]

Hello! So I've asked two people this already, but I was curious as to what you'd have to say about this. So can I get a platonic request for Red, Duck and Yellow where basically Reader(their friend) tells them that they have a crush on one of the others. For example, if Y/N told Red they liked Duck, or if Y/N told Duck they liked Red. How would they act upon learning about this info?

I apologize this took me a bit to get to. I hope you enjoy! I ended up doing a bit more for yellow but he's just my favorite of the three

Red

When you first mention that you are interested in someone it doesn't really peak his interest, until you say who it is

Duck? of all people? really?

He's not one to judge but it confuses him a bit, still supportive!

Not really good with his own emotions so he may not be much of a help but he tries

Defiantly made you sit next to him in the travel episode

Duck

Lord what were you thinking telling him

Kinda offended you don't like him, not in a way that he likes you more so in a " I'm better then all the others" way

But when he finds out its red? He gets an attitude

Once he gets over it he tries to be a wing man in his own way

Will " accidently" bump into you leading to you crashing into Red and walks away with the biggest smirk

Makes sure you guys have pictures next to each other in the family wallet

Yellow

Sweet boy is the best one to help you in this situation

You don't want the person to know? that's fine he can keep secrets?

But if you want to confess he'll help plan little ways to make your love known

Has decided he will be the flower girl in the wedding

If its Red he will be most excited about it, He views him as the sort of dad after all

If its Duck he gets a bit worried. Duck isn't the nicest to him, what if you end up like that?

He also worries you may end up forgetting him so please reassure him he still has a place in your heart

" Look! I drew you and Red/Duck holding hands!"