#for exactly this sort of testing purposes

[rabbiteclair]

had a long discussion about the difficulties of testing credit card errors in production, namely that doing so would require me to have a credit card that is a valid number, absolutely won't get somebody $600 in actual charges if we use it to test, and will get errors from the payment processor if we try charging it, and my boss just... pulls out a comically large stack of credit cards from under his desk like 'oh you could've just asked if all you needed was a bad credit card. the only thing is that most of these have been reported stolen, is that an issue?'

this makes my life a lot easier, so I'm just gonna not ask questions.

[fawnhunter]

cregan stark aka mr attitude adjustment.

sometimes cregan needs to check himself, and make sure ur good too

this is part of a series which at the moment also includes benjicot blackwood. if there's anyone you'd like to see done next please let me know! general NSFW content warning, talk of impregnation.

lalala cregan stark lalala tom taylor...can i just preface this by saying he causes the ultimate brain rot. i look at him and my brain just goes " big man in pelts and amour big man in pelts and-" anyway!

to me cregan stark is the physical embodiment of non sexual dominance. i mean we all know how well the men of the north treat their women, like they are queens even if they wear the crown or not. and being with the lord of winterfell himself only makes things better. He walks into a room and he demands control and attention, and when people see you his pretty little wife hanging off his arm it only makes him feel that much more powerful.

back to the n.s.d thing, lets just says he's a natural "father" figure. i can see him falling for someone who needs some... light correcting... are u following me. finding love with someone who may be a bit mouthy. who isn't afraid to look him in the face and disagree with him, to offer a different opinion from the other daft cunts int he room. someone who will watch him train, who will watch him knock new coming knights onto the ground without flinching away.

i just think he would find excitement in someone with a little fight in them. someone he can back into a corner with his body mass alone, looking down his nose at you no matter how much to try to stand tall in front of him. staring you down into submission until you don't have a peep left in you, giving him the talking space to tell you how exactly things are going to go from here on out. [nsfw]

its hard to imagine actual angry sex with cregan, a man made of honor like that would never try and apologize with his cock before he does so with his words. however, i can imagine jealous, possessive, and passionate sex with cregan after his honor towards you has been tested. maybe someone eludes to you having an hard time producing heirs, suggesting someone else. or maybe they have the audacity to marry you off or send you away for some sort of gain for winterfell. all of a sudden there's knocking on ur chamber doors, and ur being pushed into ur room instead of opening the door properly.

from there the evening existed entirely of hot and heavy breathing accompanied by his harsh grip moving along ur skin. he touches you with purpose, like he's trying to leave some sort of trace of him on ur skin. teeth biting into ur neck, the feeling similar to that of a wolfs fangs leaving bruises on ur skin after a harsh nip. if it was up to him he would've torn ur shift away from ur body and throw it into the fire, leaving you bare before his eyes for the rest of time. his war torn hands run up along whatever parts of you he can reach. his touches are desperate in the way he pushes you into the chaise, in way too much of a hurry to move both of you to the bed it seems. fingers prepping ur sweet cunt while muttering words of owners ship and adoration into ur neck. his hair tickles ur skin as you begin to claw at the part of him you can. its clumsy and desperate, the kind of intercourse where you know there's something he's trying to get off his chest but he just doesn't have the words to say it. its when he finally sheathes himself inside of you that he tells you all about the lords who dared to speak of you to his face. heavy girth pumping in and out of you while his voice gets louder and louder, crying out ur name over the sounds of lilted moans. making sure all the lords and ladies down the hall know that you won't be going anywhere. especially away from him.

this is my first work for cregan i love him so much that wolf of a man. my ask box is always open tbh i love to yap especially abt hotd

[mypoisonedvine]

i can't remember if I sent something like this to you before. but a drabble where Jonathan crane is helping a student or fellow colleague test a new drug they made. however, the drug instead acts like an aphrodisiac making the reader completely pliable to jonathans wants...

YOU DID AND I WANTED TO WRITE IT AND IM SO GLAD YOU SENT IT AGAIN!!!

warnings: dubcon cause of the drug, breeding kink, spanking, kinda rough/aggressive, housewife and misogyny kink hehe

"Please, please," you whined as you tugged him closer by the lab coat, pressing your thighs together to try to hide the arousal running down them. "Please, Dr. Crane--"

"I don't know what you need," he panted, "tell me what you need, I'll try to help."

"I need... need you to--" you choked out, knowing you couldn't just say what was in your head: touch me, fuck me, need you inside me right now, need you to breed me--

He pulled you a little closer, looking at your face, and you whimpered as you looked up at him. "You're burning up," he noticed, pressing the back of his hand to your forehead, and you worried your knees would buckle.

"F-fuck, please," you begged again, "touch me more."

"Where?" he asked, but there was a sparkle in his eye that made you think he might already know what was going on. "Tell me where, and I'll help you."

You tried to grab his hand to guide it between your legs, but he pulled away.

"I want to hear you say it," he insisted.

"My pussy," you blurted out, "fuck, please-- I need to--"

He snapped suddenly, turning you around and bending you over the lab table in an instant. "I know what you need," he decided suddenly as he roughly stripped you, getting as much of your clothes out of the way as you arched your back and whined for more. "I know what you fucking need," he said again before smacking your bare ass harshly, making you shudder and pant. "Need to be filled."

"Yes," you breathed.

"Need to be fucked," he continued, and you whined.

"Yes!"

"Need to be bred."

You gasped as he pressed his cock against you, teasing your opening like you weren't already desperate enough. "H-how," you choked out, "how could you know I need that? Did you know the drug would do this?"

"No," he answered, "this is what you all need. You're just usually too afraid to admit it."

He plunged into you with a sigh, your whole body shaking as he started to fuck you-- not too hard, but not exactly delicate either.

"I didn't know what was in that drug you tried," he went on, "but I suppose whatever it is finally made you realize your purpose. To be bred and claimed."

"Oh god, Crane," you blurted out.

"I think you can call me Jonathan now," he laughed as he leaned down over you, holding your hips tighter. "We might as well be on a first name basis, if I'm gonna get you pregnant."

You purred and arched your back, everything in you crying out for exactly that.

"Such a cute little career woman," he chuckled, "but you're no better than this, are you? Still need a man to fuck some babies into you. Did you always want it to be me? Or will anybody do?"

You'd had a crush on him before, sure, but not exactly the type that makes you want a child-- that was definitely the drugs talking.

"Gonna get you so fucking full," he promised with a groan, "gonna give you every drop until you're pregnant-- think that'll help you calm down?"

"Yes," you sobbed, "fuck, please--"

"Can't wait to see you like that," he smiled, "full with my baby. Tits all swollen and sore... so needy and wet all the time from the hormones-- sort of like this, hopefully a little more rational, though. You're gonna make the prettiest housewife, sweetheart, now that you finally know your place."

[amphitriteswife]

Foolish love

Pairing: Jonggun x reader

Source: Lookism

Summary: visiting Jonggun in jail

Genre: angsty. Sort of fluff idk tbh

Warmings: it sucks ass and its short but uhh its one of my 101838227 concepts about him

.

.

.

‘I love you.’ Jonggun sighed as he heard the words leave your mouth. His hands were finally free of those annoying handcuffs. His body still healing from injuries and damage he took during the many he fights he experienced some days ago. Most of them were patched up or in bandages, the only one being visible was the bruising near his right eye. Really, your words made him tired, but to you it was different. Your words were full of emotion, they were genuine. Something Jonggun knew himself. Yet he still thought it was foolish. Love is foolish.

Jonggun already saw how Love made one of his pupils blind, he was talking about Eli Jang. Someone he favored for a long time over Johan or Samuel. Eli had the motivation, the talent, the strength to walk in the footsteps Jonggun had. Yet he threw it all away for a woman. And look where it got him. Eli experienced even mire problems, questioning his own morals, all for the sake of his family and daughter. One can understand why, one can sympathize, and one can relate. Yet Jonggun still never understood why he would throw it all away. How foolish of him.

Just as how he thought that Eli’s love for Heather eas foolish. He considers your love for him foolish. Something you shouldn’t have for him. Something you never should’ve had since the beginning. What he wanted was someone who could kill him. Someone that could handle him in a fight. Admiration. Motivation. Money. Will power. When he met you, you had it all. You still do. You put up a fight he never experienced. He didn’t have to fight so many others to get to the main point. It wasn’t a fights based in purposes or goals. Just seeing who was stronger. Who could really tear off one’s skin. Who had more experience. Who had more power. Who had more stamina. Both of you didn’t get to lose, nor win as the fight was broken up. But it didn’t go to waste. No matter where you went or what you did. Jonggun saw pleasure in chasing you and taking every opportunity to test you once again. And every time he looked even more unhinged, even Goo admitted that he found him creepy sometimes.

The open mouthed smile. The white ray of teeth. The salvia still hanging off it. And every time he was in UI state, which made him look even more demonic. Jonggun was a devil who had good morals. Sometimes. Yet did a lot of questionable things. He was crazy, yet that’s the sole purpose of why you found him attractive. Isn’t it weird? How do did you ever come to love someone like him?

‘You’re foolish.’ Is what he said. He didn’t even sound angry. Nor sad. Nor disappointed. It was just a deadpanned sentence. It didn’t hold any meaning. Any emotion. Nothing at all. It sucked. It really did. It’s not like you wanted to love him either. His piercing eyes that most found chilling wete beautiful to you. The creepiness of them always made you very intrigued. Even now, when you’re pouring your heart out he’s uninterested. Perhaps a cold prison does really fit him. But the same could be applied to you, you met him there exactly 3 years ago after all. Together with Charles, a man who was just a cleaner of the prison who caused all this mess. Even to you it was all vague and unclear, the only reason you ever went along with Charles was for Jonggun. It was all for him. Everything was.

‘You suck. If it was up to me, i could do anything for you.’ You told him bluntly. It made him raise an eyebrow. He never noticed how attached you were to him. Perhaps he never noticed it all. Why did it even matter? It’s not like you ever wanted something with him to begin with. It’s not something you expected. He’s a loyal person, just not a romantic. But that’s enough. Because although his loyalty laid with Charles, yours laid with him. It’s funny isn’t it? He called you a fool, yet he’s the foolish one for not noticing how the two of you were so similar…yet so different. Seeing him against the other side of the glass in a dark blue uniform. It brought back lots of memories. Yet this time you felt much more saddend. You weren’t in love with him. But you loved him. You wanted him to be happy. To finally be free from Charles, yet when it happend it wasn’t what you thought it would be…how disappointing.

Jonggun on the other hand laughed a little at your sentence when he thought about it. You would do everything for him? How loyal. But truly, that’s not something he wanted. He wanted to be left alone, he declined your offer to see him many times, every time he didn’t even mention why. What an ass. Sometimes he didn’t even show up. Even now when you’re in front of him, pleading and confused. Tears streaming down your face, begging him to at least let you help him. He still only apologized for making you cry without giving you an answer to anything. He always left you in the dark, only telling things that seemed necessary. He could only just stare at you from the other side of the glass with hand pressed against yours, just the thick glass in between both the hands. He only told you some words you couldn’t even understand. Something you still don’t get. Not why. Not when. Now how. But you’ll still follow them anyway. He knows it and so do you. No matter what jonggun says. You’ll always follow them. Just like how he follower Charles’

‘Wait for me.’

Those are the only 3 words he told you before leaving on his own regard, he still had time left. Even the guards were confused. But it’s Jonggun. He’s never one to speak much about his feelings or emotions anyway…so once again you’re left in the darknwith unanswered questions and uncertain feelings. What a jerk…a jerk you loved.

Thank yall for readin :P 🩵🤍

[skzhua]

a price i'm willing to pay | part 27 - play pretend?

MASTERLIST

pairing: ceo!bang chan x entrepreneur!reader

genre: social media!au, arranged marriage, fake relationship, fluff, angst.

warnings: swearing, might have suggestive bits.

summary: following a scandal threatening the survival of your business, you have no choice but to associate yourself with a competitive company.

Needless to say, you were stressed. Even if Chan’s building was not that far from yours, the few minutes you had to wait for him were agonizing. Moving your knee up and down, biting your bottom lip as you stared at the time, picking the skin around your nails… There wasn’t a thing you weren’t doing in attempt to calm yourself.

“You good?” Changbin questioned you as he was heading out for his own lunch break.

“Yup, never been better,” you sent him a thumbs up but by the look on his face, he was not convinced in the slightest.

“I’m going for fried chicken; do you want me to bring you some?”

You swooned at the gesture but shook your head no. “Chan and I will eat together.”

The disappointment was obvious on his face but he smiled nonetheless, waving at you as he walked out. You almost felt bad until you remembered the messages exchanged with Chan. You had no idea what he wanted to talk about. Did he want to discuss your future projects? Was he regretting collaborating with you? Or worst, did he want to divorce you after realizing he made a mistake?

So many things ran through your mind that you didn’t take notice of Chan standing tall in front of your desk, blazer slouched over his shoulder. Once your eyes set on him, you swallowed thickly upon taking in how fucking handsome he was. There were times you could refrain yourself from such thoughts, but you were all over the place today.

“Really? You’re checking me out right now?” he sighed in disappointment, although he still had a hint of amusement in his tone.

“I’m not,” you argued even if you knew the blush on your face would betray you.

“Sure, sweetheart,” he chuckled. “Shall we go?”

“Where?”

He perked an eyebrow up. “To eat..?”

“Right,” you cleared your throat before gathering your jacket and purse clumsily.

There was no denying it; this was the cutest sight Chan had had of you so far. Still, he tried to not let it show through and guided you out to the café nearby. You chose a booth that was a bit further from the other tables so you could have some sort of privacy. You sat down, legs jittering under the table, and motioned the seat across from you for Chan to sit on. Only, as is he was intentionally testing your patience and making you even more nervous on purpose, he shook his head and walked to the lineup at the cash register. From there, he sent a small smile to your direction but you could only roll your eyes. This was one of the instances where you would remember why you despised him in the first place.

It only took him a few minutes but he finally sat with you as he brought along with him two carrot muffins and two lattes. You would lie it you said you didn’t find adorable how he remembered your usual and that he ordered the same for him. Nevertheless, this was not what you were here for.

“How was work this morning?” he asked after taking a sip and you deadpanned at him.

“Really? That’s what you’re going to say first?:

He sighed. “I don’ know how to bring the subject into the conversation smoothly.”

“Just say it as it is, it's killing me how I have no idea what you want to discuss about.”

His gaze softened before he cleared his throat. “I know you said to never bring it up again, but it's been on my mind for months and I think I'll go crazy if I don’t have answers.”

Your body stiffened. You knew exactly what he was referring to. The question was why would he bring it up now, after months since it occurred. If it bugged him so much, you would have maybe let him speak.

“What are your questions?”

He seemed surprised and somewhat relieved to see how calm you remained. “Why did you say to not talk about it again? Are you ashamed of it?”

“Ashamed of it?” you repeated. “No, of course not. It's just- I wasn’t thinking straight that night.”

“So your solution to something you caused was to ignore it,” he scoffed. “Does it mean you regret it?”

“Wasn’t it obvious when I ask you to not mention it again?”

His jaw clenched and he took a sip of his latte as a temporary distraction. “Is it that bad that we kissed?”

“We're business partners, Chan.”

“To you, that’s what we are. But I would have hoped after the year we had, you would maybe consider me as your friend at the very least.”

You gulped at his statement. The thing was, you never knew in what category he fitted. At first, it was your rival. Then, a business partner. But with time, you saw your relationship with him to a level you never thought it would reach. You sought to him for comfort, you would call him at random times to get your mind off things, you would actually enjoy your silly fake dates, and — although you would never admit it out loud — the posts you made about each other online made your heart swoon. He was never your friend, but he wasn’t someone you hated anymore.

“Another thing,” he continued after seeing you would not answer. “If you have something with Changbin, it was never my intention to come between the two of you. Heck, I was even a replacement for him that night since he couldn’t come.”

“That’s not true,” you were quick to correct.

“Why did you invite me over the one time he wasn’t going to be there, then?”

You groaned in frustration. “You and Changbin are two totally different people. In no way did I ever think of you as replacement for him. And to answer your question, it’s because he hates you.”

He took a second to register what you said before speaking again, hesitantly. “Do you have something going on with him?”

“Alright, jealous boy, I think we covered enough ground here,” you tried to dismiss the topic but, clearly, he had no intention for you to do so.

“Y/N, do you?”

You thought for a moment, which in itself would have sent Chan's mind into a whirlwind of overthinking, but you responded. “Wonhee thinks he does have feelings for me, but I don’t see him like this. If so, it would have happened long ago.”

He struggled with containing his satisfied smile. “And, are you seeing anybody?”

“If you don’t count, then no.”

His eyes lingered on yours for a moment which inevitably made you self-conscious of your words. You didn’t think before speaking, and somehow, it felt like you said the right thing. Still, you had no idea what you were implying with this. Did you want to be with him for real? Or did you say that because, in a way, you are seeing each other? The latter sounded like the most likely to be, but the first one had a ring to it that was melody to your ears.

“That’s all I wanted to discuss,” he ended up responding, much to your disappointment. “Just let me know if you do begin to date, because-"

“I won’t.”

He frowned at your interruption. “What?”

“We're married, I'm not going to hoe around for no reason.”

“We're married on paper, Y/N.”

“It doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. If you are uncomfortable with it, I won’t. Besides, you’re not so bad of a husband.”

His cheeks turned pink while his smile grew, showing his dimples in the process. He sent a wink your way as to tell you he knows what you meant but in all honesty, this took him aback quite a lot. And this was the moment he knew his feelings were definitely stronger than what he had originally thought. In a way, he was grateful you didn’t seem to catch onto his very flustered self. However, a part of him wanted you to know he took this compliment to heart.

“I should get going,” you broke the silence, showing him the time on your phone. “Thank you for the latte and the muffin.”

“It’s nothing. I can walk you to the company.”

You pondered for a second and smiled. “Would you mind?”

“Of course not.”

So, a few minutes later, you were strolling around the city towards your company building. The streets were rather calm, surprisingly, and the little noise there was simply made your surroundings the more welcoming. Today was just perfect.

“We can stop playing pretend, you know?”

His voice caught you off guard. “Come again?”

“You understood me the first time, Y/N,” he breathed out, stopping on his tracks. “How long are we going to keep pretending you and I aren’t something more than just a public relationship? Because, I'll keep going.”

You were out of words, speechless. How could he say something of that sort in such a bold way? You never had the time to think if this would go any further, mainly because you avoided the thought the times it did pop up in your brain. Chan was never the man you'd take interest in, even less in a romantic manner. Not only that, but you had very strong negative feelings towards him not so long ago. But again, the evening strolls with him were always something you looked forward to. The way he'd make the stupidest joke was both something that annoyed you and cheered you up. His crazy sudden dates filled you with adrenaline as you couldn’t wait to see what prepared just for you.

And the kiss at the sleepover. The way he looked so beautiful in the dim light. The softness of his lips that you still think of from time to time to this day. The gently cuddles he gave you the next morning while eating your breakfast…

“I doubt we've been playing pretend this whole time,” you said in a small voice, taking a step towards him.

He took a step closer as well. “Have we not?”

“I don’t think so…”

Crash.

In the middle of the sidewalk, not a care in the world, you were kissing him once again.

“Sunghoon?”

The latter jumped up from his seat, straightening his posture as Jisung arrived at his front desk with a smile plastered on his face. “How can I help you, Mr. Han?”

“There is a last-minute appointment this morning with Miss Park Yoonchae.”

Sunghoon looked at Chris' agenda before frowning. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I'm sure,” he answered with a roll of his eyes. “She'll be here at 10, you can send her over right away.”

“Important meeting, I see?”

“Depends of the outcome.”

And as told to Sunghoon, the woman dressed from head to toe in designer clothes was standing before him at ten o’clock sharp. As he would always do, he argued a bit with Yoonchae as she was not marked in Chan's schedule. Nonetheless, he did let her through when receiving a deathly glare from Jisung across the room.

“Mr. Bang should review his front desk staff,” Yoonchae muttered under her breath before coming up to Jisung with her innocent eyes. “Hannie! It's been a while!”

“It has.”

“Is Christopher available right now?” she asked while the man was escorting her to the big boss' office.

“If it isn’t, it must be for an emergency. Otherwise, he’s here,” Jisung affirmed, opening the door wide for the girl to walk in.

Chan was there. Only, he was not alone. Not only was Changbin sitting comfortably across him, but so was Minho. Both of the men turned around at the sound of someone entering and frowned when they took notice of Yoonchae.

“Oh, it was today, wasn’t it?” Chan asked as if the answer was not obvious already. “Yoonchae, right?”

“The one and only,” she smiled, even if her displeasure was evident.

“I apologize for my unprofessionalism; I swear it was not intentional. I can see you next week, if that works for you.”

“No.”

“Oh, well-"

“I didn’t come here today for no reason,” she sighed out, walking up to his desk. “I have an offer.”

“Miss, we're kind of in the middle of-" Changbin began but was quickly shut.

“I'm sure you can wait ten minutes or so.”

Chan and Minho exchanged looks before the latter nodded and gestured for his friend to follow him outside the room. Satisfied, Yoonchae smirked at the boys as she took their latest seats, sprawling her coat on the chair next to her. Jisung sent a thumbs up to Chan, and closed the door.

“What did you come here for?” Chan questioned in a forced way.

“Ad you may know, I have a very influential presence in the media.”

“I am aware; proof of it being the atrocious review you made of my wife and I's products.”

“I have millions of followers,” she went on to say, ignoring Chan’s remark. “Many of which could become potential customers of your brand.”

“What are you getting to?”

“I want to become an ambassador of Bahng Fragrances.”

The first reaction of Chan was to scoff out a laugh. There was no way the person who bashed on every beauty item she found would want to work with him. However, when her face remained unchanged, his own smile fell.

“You were serious.”

“Very serious.”

“I'm afraid I can’t do this.”

It was her turn to scoff. “Mr. Bahng, in all due respect, I think you have no choice.”

“My company's success does not rely on your reviews. An even better reason to refuse is the way you treated my wife.”

“I have nothing but respect for your relationship, but let’s be honest here. You are not actually together.”

Chan shook his head in disbelief. “How can you make such an assumption?”

“Because Jisung told me.”

In the split of a second, Chan froze in place. Either she was playing with him, or she was telling the truth.

“Jisung would never do that.”

“Oh, but I have text messages at hands to prove it. I can post them online whenever I please,” she giggled, holding her phone up high. “So? How about we work together, Mr. Bang?”

taglist 1: @lenilla15 | @muddy-waters | @nanaspalette | @nattisbored | @popcatx0 | @vanblack95 | @aestheticsluut | @thanxxskz | @minhoino | @taetertotsv | @luvscrazy | @lethallyprotected | @foxinnie8 | @jisuperboard | @jihanlovic | @soobin-chois | @jinxwhore28 | @purplelandsworld | @yeojoongiee | @smugrogerina | @jaehyunicecream | @urmomlikeslinotoo | @syprosight | @thesassy-mia | @chaotic-world-of-the-j | @heartsforlevi | @miyakoa | @seungincore | @skzsilentcryy | @owotalks | @hanjsquokka | @evermourning | @bangchansbae | @qweebarse | @linosllvr | @kpopsstuffs | @tinyelfperson | @jabmastersupriseee | @imsiriuslyreal | @chrizzztopherbang | @ilovejeongin_007

Copyright © 2024 skzhua. All rights reserved.

[a-world-with0ut-dr34ms]

Hi, please, please, please! I need a premise where Simon finds a pregnancy test in the house he shares with his wife believing it is hers, upset and anxious he asks her for explanations, without giving her the time to give an answer. The test was his girl's sister's ❤️ :')

A Good Father

Ghost x Wife!Reader

Ghost is anxious about being a father.

SFW, Extreme Fluff, Husband!Ghost, Wife!Reader, Comfort, Pregnancy Scares, Domestic, Softness, Vulnerability, Awkward Conversations, Innocent Misunderstandings, I'm reluctant to say there's humor, Scarcely Proofread, Drabble

Personally, I do feel like Ghost would be flustered if he found out his wife was pregnant with his first child. HOWEVER, I don't think he would act rude or distant or cold. Not on purpose. This is how I interpret that I guess. And thank you anon, this was an interesting topic. If you have anymore please don't be shy! ^^

Masterlist

It'd been an accident when he found it, and the kind of accident that could put a man six feet under if you weren't careful.

It was a sunny and rare fall day in which Simon had been let off work before you for once; a welcome change to his usual routine, as he'd been looking forward to surprising you.

He started with the kitchen, knowing it had been one of your least favorite places to clean. He washed and put away the dishes before wiping down the counters, making quick work with sweeping before mopping. In the blink of an eye he'd already straightened up the living room, which made the dining room light work in comparison. All that had remained was the bathroom, your second least favorite room to clean.

When he arrived home and saw you were gone, he'd thought to himself -- What would be a better surprise than coming home to your man and a clean home? It hadn't been as often as he liked where he was given such an opportunity, so he jumped at the chance without question the second the idea popped into his mind.

There hadn't been much to contend with, a few misplaced clothes and some used towels. He'd just begun picking things up when he'd suddenly heard something small clatter against the bathroom tiles. Finally he saw the tiny, long piece of white plastic sitting tucked between the toilet and the counter -- A pregnancy test.

At first glance Simon froze, unsure as to what exactly he was even looking at. It hadn't been every day he was faced with these sorts of things; you'd only recently broken the record for being the longest relationship he's been in. So when he saw it, his mind hadn't wanted to jump to conclusions. Not at first...

...But when he picked it up off the floor and felt the thing in his hands, it was as the whole world had stopped. His brown eyes skimmed over that red plus sign at the corner of the test and reality felt anew. A positive result.

A number of emotions ran through Simon, though none could be more certain than the sudden shakiness to his grip and the tightening of his jaw. A pang of nausea coarsed through him, soon followed by a sudden guilt for that. He must have stood in that bathroom for a solid three minutes before his thoughts had somewhat gathered...

Pregnant. You were pregnant, and you didn't tell him. Why? Had you not planned on keeping it, or were you simply just waiting to break the news to him?

Robotically, naturally, Simon finds himself continuing with what he was doing before, throwing the test away and continuing with cleaning. He hadn't known what else to do really; anything else and he may just storm out and call you about it.

But no, he wouldn't do that. He couldn't. His emotions are just out of sorts now and he's confused. There wouldn't be a point in channeling that confusion into anger and taking it out on you, especially since you're the one with the answers.

The final thing to clean had been the mirror. As Simon began to wipe the glass down, he caught a glimpse of himself in the reflection. There he sees the battered husk he barely recognized at times. A father.

It felt unreal. Both too good to be true and a waking nightmare. He'd always dreamed of being a father some day, perhaps, in a different life which allowed him to be a part of his child's world in the proper way that he had desired. Some parts had been out of spite of his own father, having had some subliminal need to prove to a ghost what a real parent looks like. Other parts of him genuinely longed for a family of his own, and something he could be a part of from the start and see through to the end. To be a father would make him the happiest man alive.

Yet he wasn't ready, not now. Not in ways in which he felt he could really be of any use to you and your child. He feared every bit that could replicate his own childhood into his life today. There had still been so much of himself he'd felt needed to be set right before bringing someone into this world under him. He'd just wanted this moment to be perfect...

Simon didn't bring it up when you got home. Seeing the excitement on your face to see him nearly made him forget about the whole ordeal entirely. But it lingered on his mind like a heavy weight, and you could see it.

You asked him if he was OK, and despite himself he'd told you he was fine, only tired. He'd hoped that perhaps you might bring it up yourself, though you don't, merely continuing about the evening as usual.

Dinner was awkward, mainly do to Simon's stoic behavior, even moreso than usual. He stayed up to watch a movie with you, though he hadn't said much at all during it, forgoing his usual jokes and one-liners.

It hadn't been until you'd crawled into bed next to him that he finally spoke, though it hadn't been what you expected to hear.

"Do you think I'd make a good father?"

The question catches you off guard and you laugh and little, rotating yourself in his arms and resting your chin on his chest to look at him. From there you've felt his fluttering heartbeat dancing anxiously against your palms.

"Of course I do, Si'," you say. "Why?"

He's quiet again. Even in the dark you know those brown eyes are sifting through the room, looking anywhere but where you are. His hands over you shuffle slightly, and he sighs. "I have my doubts sometimes."

"I don't know why," you smile. "You're one of the best men I've ever met. I've always thought you'd make good "dad" material."

Simon can't help but smile. "Is that right?"

"I mean you've already got the dad jokes down," you tease. "What more do you need?"

You both laugh lightly to each other, and Simon feels a warmth grow in him that only you seem able to bring forth. Even when you know something is on his mind, you go out of your way to make him smile first. It's these reasons he loved you.

"Is this your way of saying you're interested in... trying?"

Unsure of what ruse you were playing now, and no longer being able to hold himself back any longer, Simon sits up, signaling to you that this was about to become something much deeper than anticipated.

"No," he says rather coldly. Too blunt for what he'd intended.

"Oh," you say, unable to hide the disappointment in you tone. You then look up to him, confused. "Is something the matter? You've been acting odd since I got home."

"I'm just wondering when you're going to break the news to me."

"The news?"

"Your first step into motherhood."

You pause. "My... what? What are you on about?"

"I found the pregnancy test."

You pause again, audibly making a confused "oop" noise as you tried to figure out what it was your husband was talking about. "Pregnancy test?"

The confusion in your tone now only makes Simon pause. "Yes," he says. "A pregnancy test. A positive pregnancy test."

You're sitting there racking through your brain now, trying to recall when it was you took this said test. Having brought it up, all the thoughts Simon's had little time to sort through can't help but spill from him now.

"I'm not mad," he leads with. "I'm just... I wasn't...

"Oh!" You interject suddenly, a light bulb going off over your head. "That was my sister's!"

"...Wha'?"

"My sister came over this morning. She didn't want our mom to find it so I said she could do it here," you explain, before chuckling. "Though I'm gonna have to yell at her later since can't clean up after herself... Didn't mean to spook you though, love."

Simon sits there silent and frozen, still processing the last minute. "...So you're not pregnant then?"

"No," you laugh. "Not that I know of anyway."

No. He won't be a father after all. If he'd felt his emotions swirling earlier, they've torn into a twister now. He won't be a father.

It disappointed him, despite his reluctance earlier. Had he been looking forward to it more as the day went on? This was for the best, nonetheless. Now at least he could breathe again.

"Fuckin' hell," Simon lets out a heavy sigh, a boulder of stress dropping from his shoulders like a landslide. "Don't scare me like that, love. Y'nearly did me in with that."

You smirk, climbing back onto Simon until your legs were straddling him against the bed. You lean forward, letting your nose brush his and his breath detail his presence to you in the dark. Before you've kissed him, you linger there for a spell, simply marinating in the moment.

"I still think you'd make a wonderful father, Si'."

You feel him sigh, his body sinking comfortably beneath you, as you've felt his callous palms cup your cheeks gently.

"You'd make a beautiful mother."

"I'm still up for trying," you say. "If you think we're ready, I mean..."

Simon pulls you in, until your lips have found his, locking in its familiar ways. Between the soft pecks he'd left, he spoke to you softly, holding you close.

"We're not getting any younger."

(╹◡◠)

[schrodinger-swriter]

I saw you were doing a fluff alphabet! Hmmm, how about C, E, I, J, M and F for Vox?

C, E, I, J, M, F for Vox

Another character that I am at the moment to grasp onto, in terms of understanding characteristics and writing them.. but nonetheless I am willing to take a crack at writing him! I hope you enjoy, Anon, and I personally give you permission to smite me if this is too OOC!/lh

CUDDLING:

Cuddling him is... odd... I enjoy the idea that his body constantly has a faint buzz.. though most of the time when he's not experiencing high energy or emotion, it's hardly noticeable. He prefers being the big spoon, oftentimes pulling you close with your back to him. Sometimes the soft vibrations of his body is soothing, so be sure to take any moment you can to initiate a cuddle session!

EMOTION:

Going off of how he reacts when hearing Alastor's return, he can be prone to losing control of himself every now and then. Though, I think that's more so in line with his annoyance and anger rather than all his emotions. He seems like the type to want to come off as.. casual.. in a relationship. He may be devoted to you, but rarely does he drop his walls and allow himself to be completely raw with you. Sometimes he may become irritable when he's been made to examine changing trends so he can best pin point how to promote himself and his tech, though... may become a little snappy.. but in terms of affection.. He wouldn't pour his heart out, but he wouldn't shut you out. Perfectly average in this regard.

FAMILY:

Unfortunately, sinners cannot reproduce so having biological children is out of the question. He doesn't much care for children, anyway. He seems like the type to think about being a father, and idealizing it, but not going through with having the child because of work. It sounds sad when it's put like that, but is it exactly wrong? He's so caught up in maintaining the image of the Vees and keeping his own company afloat that outside of the fantasy here and there, he doesn't want children.

INJURY:

It's here he would exercise his status as an overlord and as one of the Vees, by putting an end to whoever had the nerve to injure you. Actually, if it's public knowledge that you and him are together most sinners would know better than to cross you, especially if they aren't an overlord themselves. When it comes to actually interacting with you, I think he would make sure you receive the very best care that money and power can provide, ensuring your recovery is smooth and swift. He may be a little emotionally distant, but that's only because he's beside himself with rage at the nerve of whoever harmed you.

If he's the one injured I think it would play out similarly. Assuming he doesn't deal with the person himself. Wouldn't play up his pain, or down play it either. He would not want to be babied, and he might try to get back to work as soon as possible. After all, trends are ever changing and fleeting. He can't bare the idea of falling behind and possibly being overtaken by a certain radio demon.

JEALOUSY:

He gets jealous... a lot, and when he does things can get ugly. A lot of times it results in him trying to show off and prove why he's better than the other person, and why he's more worthwhile. His screen tends to bug out and buffer while trying to turn the situation into his favor. With Vox it's best not to 'test' him and make him jealous on purpose, unless you're comfortable with the fact that Vox is going to try to run the other person into the ground. Be it literally or with their reputation. Definitely the type to physically pull you away from someone and take you to his side.

MARRIAGE:

Going off of the above and the Injured segment, I think he would make it clear to everyone in Hell that the two of you are an item. A package deal. A couple. If it means having to put a ring on you to put it through everyone's skulls that you're his and his alone, then he might just consider it. Sees it more as a power move of sorts rather than a commitment, whether that causes it's own set of issues is up to you!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for purposely violating boundaries that weren't communicated in order to test a friend?

My friend (32F) has this habit of bottling things up until she can't take it anymore, then blows up. It's a complete disaster. Anyway, I (27F) didn't know that until it happened. We had been friends for half a year, and she blew up at me for, idk 🤷‍♀️ to this day, I have no idea what she was mad about because she spoke very vaguely about what bothered her because she didn't even remember it, from the bits I comprehended, I assumed she was upset about my sense of humor, and wrote a whole AITA about that because she didn't previously mind my jokes at all and engaged with them. The final verdict was ESH, but does it matter if it turned out she's mad about something else?

Anyway, we made up but we set boundaries between us. One of her boundaries was not to joke like that in front of coworkers, but she said it was okay to do it in private. And I made her promise that she stops bottling things up and tell me immediately when somethings bothers her, because in many cases, turned out most of the things that upset her were misunderstandings. And in case it's not a misunderstanding, I need her to let me know so I can stop these behaviors.

Anyway, I knew some certain jokes bothered her, so I didn't make them again even if it was just the two of us, despite her supposedly being okay with it. Instead, I changed my sense of humor completely. I made sure not to use insults as a joke. Thing like, "you're going to drink milk, aren't you?" "If you bring milk to my counter I won't bill it" because she's lactose intolerant and keeps drinking milk and regretting it later. And things like "wear your seatbelt because if I get a ticket for it you're the one who's gonna pay it" (we carpool in my car)

However, since it was a misunderstanding and that the jokes themselves aren't exactly what upset her, I ended up making her mad again simply by interacting with her normally. She broke her promise by not communicating with me, however, this time I was very attentive of her reactions and body language that I started seeing patterns. I knew exactly how she laughs things off and starts joking around when she's in fact, angry. and I made a mental note of the things that made her react that way. They were things like, telling her I care about her, reminding her of things she forgot (without joking about how forgetful she is), asking her questions to understand her more as a person and attempt small talk, mundane things like that that I assume she took the wrong way. This continued on for 2 months.

Personally if she wanted me to stop, I will, even if I find nothing wrong with it, but I continued on purpose because I wanted her to communicate like she promised she would.I could theoretically be the one to communicate, but I refrained this time since I was already questioning if this friendship was worth it. It's tiring being the only one to communicate all the time, so I tested her by violating those "boundaries" to see if she was going to say something. Her last straw was when I told her I care about her health and she need to rest instead of waiting for me to finish my work by standing behind me, which bothered her, even though she complains about back pain after a long shift. To make things clear, she wasn't even standing behind me to talk with me or anything, she just did it for no reason when she was supposed to wait for me by the exit which has seats she could rest on. Apparently she insisted she was just waiting for me, which had me confused since she never did that before, and I asked her "why?" and she blew up at me for making her "sit alone" when she wanted to "talk with the girls" even though she never said that. She said she was just waiting for me? She could've explained and I would understand instead of lying and blaming me for not understanding what she wanted to do.

She ended up blowing up at me again because she "told me to stop these sort of things" even though she literally didn't and I was waiting for her to explain why she doesn't accept these behaviors, she was angry to the point of not wearing her seat belt 10 minutes prior getting home and opening the door before the car stopped to get out. Lucky for us it was nearly 2 AM and the street was empty, otherwise she would've caused a serious accident. The area she lives in is very dangerous to drive in and she admits that.

She never spoke to me again and I thought good riddance.

(Additional information: this friend is too attached to me, despite what this post might indicate. She's more interested in making this friendship work than I am, but isn't taking the initiative to communicate and expects me to magically read her mind. She avoid communication like the plague and blames me when things aren't working between us. That's why I made her promise to communicate with me in the first place, she could have refused but she didn't because i would end the friendship otherwise.)

TDLR: My friend promised to let me know if certain behaviors bothered her, but she didn't keep her promise. I picked up on what behaviors bother her becauseI learned how she pretends something doesn't bother her. But because I wanted her communicate, I didn't stop in order to test her but instead she ended up endagering our lives in her anger. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[shanastoryteller]

happy birthday!

can I request some more hokage's daughter or marrying rich please? or anything else Naruto!

a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5

The first part of the exam is a joke.

Sort of literally, because thanks to Naruto the Konoha Twelve all know the real purpose of the test, but also because Sasuke is able to answer all of these questions without even cheating. He knows Naruto can too, and the only reason Sakura even passed is that her theoretical knowledge is so advanced that it carried her past her mediocre ninjutsu and truly abysmal taijutsu, so this is a walk in the park for her.

Hinata, Neji, and Shikamaru are able to answer on their own as well and everyone else had already decided on their cheating strategy beforehand. The answers might not really matter, but they have to keep up appearances here.

When they get to the Forest of Death, Naruto leads them up to the trees, then says, “I’d ask if you were followed, but I figure you’d find that insulting.”

Sasuke has no idea what she’s talking about until the air next to her shimmers and then Itachi is sitting there. “You insult me all the time.”

“Aniki?” he asks incredulously, then glares at Naruto. “I hate when you don’t tell me the whole plan.”

Sakura pats him on the shoulder sympathetically.

She shrugs. “He’s just backup. Just in case. Remember-”

“Keep an eye on Gaara, don’t let him kill any Konoha shinobi, and if he looks like he’s loosing control or if I need backup, send a clone,” Itachi says. “Are you going to tell me why you’re so worried about Gaara in particular? He’s got a high death count, but that’s not exactly unusual.”

At least she hasn’t told Itachi everything either.

“You can trust him,” Sasuke says, even though Naruto knows that, even though he wouldn’t be here if she did it.

Even with those she trusts, it’s hard for her to lay all her card on the table, to trust them with everything. In a lot of ways, she trusts her parents. But she doesn’t tell them – well, most things.

Naruto looks away guiltily, then gives a short nod, but doesn’t say anything.

Sasuke sighs. “He’s like Naruto.”

Itachi is a genius. He understands what he’s saying immediately and his eyes widen. “That’s not in his file.”

If Itachi doesn’t know, then Minato probably doesn’t either. He would have told his Anbu. Sasuke knows that Naruto had worried that he’d hid it from her deliberately.

“I could be wrong,” Naruto says, even though she’s not, even though she wouldn’t be this worried and going to this much effort if she doubted herself at all. “He’s not exactly like me though.”

“His seal,” Itachi says. “It doesn’t keep them completely separate like yours does?”

Sasuke keeps his expression relaxed from years of practice.

“Right,” she says. “So don’t try and fight him head on, okay? We’ll help you.”

Itachi presses his lips together then nods, disappearing in a swirl of leaves.

“Come on,” Sakura says, “the sooner everyone else collects a scroll, the sooner we can get to the tower ourselves.”

Naruto nods, forming the Ram and a half dozen copies of his best friend pop into existence.

Meeting up with everyone would draw too much attention to themselves and splitting up to keep an eye on the teams is asking for trouble. Luckily, Naruto’s shadow clones are able to bridge that gap.

Not that she’s supposed to know how to do those, but Sasuke has lost count of the number of Naruto’s secrets he’s keeping.  

[johnwickb1tsch]

bittersweet ~ a yandere!John Wick x fem!reader sunshine/grump coffee shop AU... Part 28 all chapters

⚠⚠Trigger warning: mention of past terminated pregnancy, NOT Reader. If details of this will bother you skip the section that starts with “One day he lets you sit in as he repairs a tattered copy of The Wind In The Willows.” You can pick up again at “-He gives you run of the house.”  I’ll give you the brief gist of the plot point in the end notes.  Also mention of possible suicide, NOT Reader.

-As he prepares dinner you sit at the island, you are enjoying a glass of wine and watching him cook. His hands are like poetry, no matter the task at hand. He is slicing peppers, and offers you a piece from across the island. After your previous experience, you should be wary accepting any tidbit that color from this man, but in an act of trust you take it, your lips brushing the tips of his fingers.

It is sweet and crisp and juicy between your teeth, and you sigh to yourself.

This is what you could have had, all along.

Watching you with a small smile, he twirls the knife in his hand absently like it is an extension of his body.

You do not take it as a threat. He simply seems…content, and you wonder if you dare trust any of this at face value.

He goes back to cooking, and you watch him with your wine in hand. It is a tasty Cabernet from Chilé, and maybe you shouldn’t drink too much of it, but then again…what do you have to lose at this point?

Your eyes cast around the cavernous room while John bustles at the stove. The scene is so domestic you could cry, because you realize this is what you’d hoped to share with him before it all went to hell.

You cast your eyes down, to find the razor-sharp Japanese paring knife is now sitting in the middle of the island by the cutting board, easily within reach.

It's really the first mistake he's made in the keeping of you, since he let his guard down enough to let you whomp him with War and Peace.

You stare at it, thinking.

Is it an opportunity? What exactly would you do with it, that would achieve any sort of useful end? It hits you like a ton of bricks for some reason, when you realize that despite what he’s done to you, you have zero interest in hurting John.

You hadn’t even liked hitting him with a book.

The thought of stabbing him makes you physically ill.

Frowning at the thought, you cross your arms and sit back on the stool, glaring at the thing as though it had called you a filthy name.

Belatedly, you realize John is watching you from over at the stove.

It wasn’t a mistake.

It was a test.

You transfer your glare to him as he approaches, picking up the tiny but potentially deadly blade.

He says nothing, just washes and dries it before replacing it in the knife block, not the locked drawer.

You guess you passed.

-Later, over dinner, he asks, “Why didn't you pick it up?” 

“Because the thought of hurting you makes me sick.”

He actually smirks at you. “That’s nice to hear.”

You’re not sure if he’s baiting you on purpose, but your temper starts to rise. So much for a quiet evening.

“That’s not how I’m going to get out of here,” you declare, feeling brave.

Or stupid.

Hearing this amuses him heartily.

“Yeah?”

“Someday, you're going to let me go, because you'll realize it's the right thing to do.” 

He leans his elbows on the table, fixing you with that dark stare that pins you in your seat. “I already told you, kitten, I'm never going to let you go.” He says it sweetly this time, but you sense he is still absolutely serious in his conviction.

-The week that follows is a series of halcyon days, filled with the affection and attention from Mr. Wick that you'd craved all along. Something has shifted in him, and you're still not sure exactly what, or how to make it stay.

 You cook meals together in the mornings and evenings. He teaches you things about haute cuisine and international dishes that you'd never had any inkling or access to. The things you make for dinner some nights you've only heard of on tv or in magazines. He's tasted these things in their original countries, and tells you what stories he can, that don't involve disclosing the details of multiple homicides committed for astronomical pay.

You know he must be showing off for you. A man with a waistline like that does not eat like this regularly. A small part of you dares to wonder, is he actually trying to woo you?

You fill your days with time in the studio, and with him.

The brightly colored Dolce and Gabbana sundresses you’d coveted in Italy mysteriously start appearing at the foot of the bed every day. Floral prints in pink and red, and bright majolica-inspired designs with yellow acanthus curls and blue accents, as well as the dreamy azure and white azulejo tile patterns. You marvel at what he spent, to lay these at your feet. You don’t even care that he’s picking out your outfits, dressing you like a feminine doll—because they make you happy. You even go so far as to wear them in your studio, not caring if you get a smudge of paint or pastel on the brightly printed fabric. What does it matter now?

What does anything matter?

-One day he lets you sit in as he repairs a tattered copy of The Wind In The Willows. You discover he likes old children’s books best and he has dozens on his shelves. Something about missing out on a real childhood of his own, you reckon, and undoubtedly the artistry that went into them.

This is the day he tells you that he was almost a father himself once. That when he’d been a foolish young man (his words), he’d fallen in love with one of the ballerinas at the school for assassins where he’d been raised. When the inevitable this led to that with hormone-charged youths with no access to birth control, they planned to run away together.

He’d wanted nothing more at that time, but to just live a simple life with his little family. He just knew in his heart, that the baby would be a girl. He’d already named her, Irina, his little Irinushka. But the night they meant to leave they were intercepted by the other students, and separated by The Director of the school. Tatiana was forced to terminate her pregnancy, because a principal ballerina bearing baby weight was of no use to The Theater at all.

When finally they were allowed to see each other young fire-eyed Jardani wanted to try to leave again. He was willing to kill anyone who got in their way this time, brothers or not. But Tatiana was changed, a shadow of the girl he’d known, and she refused to go with him. She said it had all been a stupid mistake, and he heard the Director’s indoctrination echoing through his lover’s mouth. She began numbing her pain with pills, and wouldn’t stop, despite his pleading. She pushed him away, and a year later she died in a car crash during a mission running drugs across the city. John never knew if it had been an accident, or if she’d given up to the sorrow eating at her heart.

He tells you all this in quiet, almost impersonal tones as he weaves the kettle stitch binding on the book, as though it happened to someone else. The man he had been, you suppose, this Jardani Jovonovich. You imagine what he must have been like as a young man. You suspect he must have been heartbreakingly beautiful, and probably could have had women eating out of his palm and tucking their panties into his pocket at every turn.

Yet, all he’d really wanted was his little ballerina, and his baby Irinushka.

He did leave The Theater soon after, to become the notorious Baba Yaga, the infamous assassin John Wick who could kill three men with naught but a pencil. You listen to all this with horror and tears in your eyes, feeling as though your own heart has been run through a shredder, understanding even further exactly why this steadfast man finally cracked to pieces.

You doubt your own state of mind could have fared so well, for so long.

-He gives you run of the house, reasoning correctly that you won’t be able to get past the locks and bulletproof windows anyway. One day, when you cannot find him, you wander into the garage.  He is tinkering with his motorcycle, in a grease stained white t-shirt and ratty jeans that cross the wires in your brain a little. 

The sight of the machine fills your heart with what is perhaps an irrational amount of hope.

“Can we go for a ride?” you ask, thinking of that perfect day you once spent together. You have not been outside once since returning to Clear Forks, though you can tell from looking out the window that you've had a series of beautiful sunny days. They’re a thing not to be wasted in the mountains; fall will come quickly, and then winter before you can blink.

“Not today, sweetheart,” he sighs, actually sounding apologetic, wiping his hands on a rag.

You pout silently, but do not push the issue. You are learning to pick your battles. If you keep poking here and prodding there, someday, you will find a weakness to exploit. You must be patient.

When he is sweet to you, patience is not so difficult to come by. You know that is dangerous, but not quite what to do about it.   

The garage is a massive space, and you take the opportunity to look around. You should be scoping out possible tools for escape, but mostly...you're just curious. 

Is he succeeding in training you? You ask yourself this with what should be an alarming amount of detachment.

Looking past the Land Rover in the middle bay, you see something underneath a cover. Feeling emboldened by his mild mood that day, you walk over to peek underneath. 

The sight makes a quiet exclamation slip from your lips. 

“Is this the car?”

It is a matte gray Mustang with subtle black racing stripes. You don't know much about classic cars, but it looks fast as hell. 

“The car?”

You turn to find he is directly behind you. You didn't hear or sense him move at all. You wonder belatedly if maybe this is a sore spot you should have left well alone. 

“Um...never mind.”

“It's OK. You like classics?” 

“I...guess? It’s very pretty.”

He pulls off the cover, unveiling the machine in all its glory. “It’s a ’69 Boss 429. 375 horsepower, 450 pound-foot of torque.” 

You smile, having no inkling what that really means, but you can tell it makes him happy. 

“Can we take this for a ride?”

Luckily, he just chuckles at your transparency. 

“Maybe.” It would be harder for you to escape from a car, than from off the back of the bike, after all. He kisses your forehead, not replacing the cover, before going back to the bike. 

Somewhat heartened, you wander back up to your studio.

-On the third day, you start to dream about Helen.

It’s actually nothing new for you, communing with the dead through your dreams. You’ve never really thought it more than your own overactive imagination, visiting with your grandmother or your great uncles, even sometimes an old boyfriend who had since passed away. But this feels like something more, and frankly, it gives you the creeps.

At first, you are simply sitting together, an uncomfortable silence between the two of you. You can hardly blame her—you are fucking her husband, after all, if not entirely of your own choice.

But one night, she comes to you in a field of daisies. Extending one to you, she offers you a tired if not slight smile. There is a pleading in her caramel-colored eyes, and maybe regret too. She only says two words. “I’m sorry.” You wake with the haunted feeling that she knows she made him into this version of himself with the trauma of her loss, but she’s still passing the keeping of him on to you.

What does she want you to do? Save him? You start to cry quietly to yourself, because the dangerous man who was her husband is laying asleep behind you with his arms tight around you like you are his teddy bear, and you don’t know how.

.

.

Author’s note: The general gist of the TW section was that young John/Jardani and one of the ballerinas became pregnant and were going to run away from the Tarkovsky theatre. But they got caught and The Director wouldn’t allow it. She separated them, made Ballerina terminate the pregnancy, and Ballerina died the next year possibly of suicide.  Obviously, this left an impression on John.

[runscold-runsdeep]

Squeeze

Terzo X Omega - Dark Cardiophilia

Warnings/disclaimers: dark cardiophilia, fluff-ish, arguing, near death experience, heart failure, arithmetic heartbeat, demonic magic induced injury, Google Translate Italian for one phrase.

Word count: 800+

///Author’s note

I finally got it written!!! It’s short, and probably undeserving of a banner that took too much effort to make, but I wanted to scrub off the rust and get back into the swing of things. I’m gonna be adding a tag list to my fics from now on, so be sure to let me know if you want on!

🫀⸸⛧⸸🫀

The room was dark, the only light being the flicker of the TV displaying a horror film with Terzo scooted as close to Omega as he could, the mortal being curled up into the demon’s side. Omega enjoyed this closeness though, wrapping an arm around Terzo to keep him cozy. Despite the volume of the TV not being turned down low and Omega not having his ear pressed against Terzo's chest, he could still hear the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, occasionally quickening in response to the suspenseful moments in the movie.

Unable to resist the urge, Omega slid his hand down to Terzo’s chest, feeling the gentle, rhythmic beat of his heart against his palm, which made Terzo smile and lean closer to him. Despite his best efforts to concentrate on the movie playing in front of them, something about Terzo’s heart in that moment kept drawing his attention away. A sort of curiosity was nagging at him.

Ever since he was summoned and his natural talents for healing and caretaking were discovered, he found himself dedicating most of his spare time in The Ministry’s infirmary whenever he wasn’t with Ghost or alone with Terzo. The infirmary became a sort of sanctuary, a place where he could learn about the intricacies of the human body and its many ailments. However, amidst all the knowledge he was gaining, there were curiosities that lingered in his thoughts, and one of those questions kept pushing itself to the forefront of his mind. What happened if a heart was squeezed?

He tried to push this thought away once more. He would never test such a thing on his partner of all people. He would rather be sent to the ruthless hounds of Hell than to purposely hurt Terzo to answer such a ridiculous question… But at the same time, he also wanted to know how exactly Terzo’s heart specifically would react to such a thing. As he thought over this dilemma, his mind was clouded with conflict. On one hand, he felt a sense of guilt for even considering such a cruel experiment. On the other hand, curiosity gnawed at him, and whatever damage was done to his heart, he could always reverse it.

A purple light in the corner of Terzo's eye caught his attention, forcing his eyes away from the TV to look in the light's direction. Omega's hand was in a grasping position, aglow like ignited hand sanitizer. As Terzo's gaze lingered on the mysterious light, his lips parted to question Omega, but all that escaped was a wince. As Omega’s talons closed, a tightness formed in Terzo’s chest and a sharp pain began to shoot through his jaw and arm. As he felt his heart begin to stumble, his eyes widened, realizing now what Omega was doing. The sound of his pounding heart filled the room, drowning out all other noise as fear and confusion clouded his mind.

“O…Omega..!” Terzo gasped out, clutching at his chest and watching helplessly as Omega's claws tightened their grip around his heart, slowly squeezing it with his demonic powers, “Omega, s—stop!” He leaned against the ghoul, the pain and his failing heart causing his consciousness to wane.

And at once, Omega did, letting go of Terzo's heart and placing his large hand on the mortal's chest, taking in the pain he had inflicted. His own heart started to falter and ache now as he absorbed the injuries that had once belonged to Terzo.

Terzo closed his eyes, tilting his head back as he took in several deep breaths, trying to regulate his heart and his nerves before his eyes shot open, his head jerking to face his partner, glaring at him. “Tu... Tu fottuto idiota!” He exclaimed, “Wh—What the hell came over you?! You almost… you could have fucking killed me!”

Omega, who more than expected this reaction from Terzo, sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I know, and I’m sorry.”

“Why did you do that?” Terzo pressed his hand to his chest, as if trying to reassure himself that his heart was still beating.

Omega shrugged. “I was curious.”

“…You were curious.” Terzo repeated as he blinked at the demon, as stunned as he was furious. “You tried to kill me just to satisfy some curiosity?!”

“I mean,” Omega exhaled, pausing to choose his his words, “I wasn’t trying to kill you—“

Terzo glared at the ghoul, his white eye bearing a more intense coldness than it normally did, which made Omega cower just slightly.

“…I—I, uh… I wasn’t gonna push you that far. I was gonna stop before you reached that point. And I did.” Omega stammered, averting his gaze from Terzo’s.

Terzo huffed, shaking his head slightly as he curled back up with the demon, snuggling up against him. “Just… warn me next time you try something stupid like that.” He grumbled, “And look, I've missed a part of the movie because of you!” He complained, which forced a small chuckle from Omega as he pulled Terzo close.

“Want me to rewind it?” Omega offered, nuzzling his nose against the top of Terzo’s head.

“No, I’ll figure out what I missed later.” Terzo settled back into Omega’s hold as the ghoul draped his arm around him. Omega turned his attention back to the TV, feeling content at last even though his heart still throbbed and ached with an unsettling rhythm. He hoped that the discomfort would pass soon…

[butch-reidentified]

Pitching New Terminology: GLAP (Gamete-Linked Anatomy and Physiology)

A little while back, I remember seeing someone on here talk about 2nd wave feminist attempts to coin new terminology/alter existing terms as part of their feminism ("herstory" and "womyn" for example) + my wife and I have been talking a ton for a few months now about how language can feel so limiting, as counterintuitive as most people likely would find that. One of the things my wife brought up is that it bothers and bewilders her that "sex" can refer to biological categories, to the state of being male or female, but can also mean intercourse. She said this feels very male to her, and thinks that this word being used to mean both of these things (both of which are very charged concepts with heavy connotations - but only because of patriarchy) is not only unnecessary, but arguably harmful to the feminist cause as well.

Not only that, but sex (as in maleness/femaleness) is itself very much in contention these days - its existence itself is challenged in addition to its definition and the parameters of its categories. Even outside of gender identity ideology (GII) and the conversation surrounding transgender identities, there is a fair amount of inconsistency in what exactly people think makes a human being male or female, be it large or small gamete production, the presence of either a penis or a vagina, some sort of checklist-like combination of sex characteristics, karyotype, hormone dominance, the infamous pseudoscientific "brain sex," or something else.

I agree with Dr. Rashad Rehman's succinct statement that "sex is defined by gamete production," from his paper (which I've posted on several previous occasions and you can read at this link) refuting both GII and the catholic church regarding human sex biology & intersex conditions. As I've said countless times on this blog and he says in his paper, this manner of categorizing human beings as male or female does not require successful production of large or small gametes. Rather, it defines a human being's sex according to which of two overall developmental pathways their body follows; has your body (your anatomy and your physiology, as referenced in the GLAP acronym's A and P) developed around the "intention," so to speak, of producing large gametes or small gametes?

This is what led to the acronym GLAP (for "Gamete-Linked Anatomy and Physiology"), which I introduced in a recent reblog. She and I coined this term together to offer a more precise, better delineated alternative to "[biological] sex," and an alternative bearing zero denotative or connotative relationship to sexual intercourse.

By not only defining sex in relation to gametes, but placing the very word "gamete" at the literal forefront of the term itself, GLAP leaves little room for debate or misunderstanding when it comes to discussions of maleness and femaleness in human beings. The importance of this is well-stated in Dr. Rehman's paper, particularly in the following section containing two quotes from the writings of MIT philosophy professor Alex Byrne. The first of these two quotes references Brown-educated feminist scientist (and GNC lesbian!) Dr. Anne Fausto-Sterling, and the second cites Simone de Beauvoir's "The Second Sex."

[Please let me know if image description is needed; screen reader test worked on my end, but who knows?]

We believe this terminology has the potential to combat misinformation surrounding human biology as well as to open doors within the discourse pertaining to GII and transgender issues. We suspect - and hope - that removing the word "sex," thus removing the messiness that tends to come along with the word, could perhaps reduce tensions and reactivity in order to allow for conversations to be had that otherwise would rapidly escalate or be avoided entirely. Additionally, introducing a new term like this requires providing an explanation of its meaning and purpose, the process of which we believe will help facilitate such conversations. We also feel that the novelty and hint of silly-sounding-ness could support the goal of reducing the tension and emotional charge currently embedded in gender discourse.

[fallenhunnyapple]

After getting a bunch of questions from @ilikelookingatthings, its time to compile some more info about this AU! So here we are~ I might be rehashing some things said before for clarity and expanding on ideas

(the words are from Rule #34 by Fish in a Birdcage because it makes me insane and suits this AU a lot)

So let's break this down into separate parts.

Adam's Sexuality:

Adam is a closeted Gay man. This is something he's always been, but his pride and the enforcement of the Angels kept him from ever really pursuing anything while he was In Heaven. Lucifer was his first love and that memory is so deeply embedded into his heart that even without his memories, he still Feels the affection and attraction.

He doesn't have memories of the formative experiences that made him struggle in Eden and Heaven, but the internalize homophobia isn't going anywhere, and being the priest of a small town, he's faced with Homophobia often enough that he'll never feel safe being Out. Feeling attraction towards male constituents instead of the female ones made his sexuality very clear to him, even though he knew that if he were to feel any attraction it /should/ be towards women.

So meeting Lucifer and being faced with his ancient love, feeling unjudged by the one he's attracted to (Lucifer mentioned offhandedly early on that he's bisexual), of course he's still conflicted because this is Literally Temptation by the Devil himself, but he finds himself unable to repress everything when Lucifer is being so open and making him feel its Okay. Sure, its still to the Devil's own ends, but that doesn't make it any less supportive.

Adam's Ultimate Fate:

Adam is ending up in Hell. Whatever else happens while he's alive, there is no escaping that fact. Being in a sexual relationship with the Devil Himself is more than enough for eternal damnation. If it had been with a human, things may have been different, or they may not. He's Meant to stay celibate for this test, which incidentally goes against the very purpose of his creation, still etched into his soul despite not having the memories. And that in itself makes him more susceptible to being offered What he wants with Who he wants.

Lucifer makes it very clear to him at some point in the future that he wants him in Hell. Not as a way to spite Heaven, but because he wants _Him_, _Adam_ in Hell with him. And for the Years they have together, because Adam isn't being rushed to his grave or anything, he's allowed to live his full life, Lucifer will gladly push Adam further and further into Sin to ensure he'll come home to him in the end. Thwarting Heaven's plan is only secondary now.

Adam's Connection with the Divine:

The point of this test is to prove that Adam can be a Good Enough Person to make it to Heaven. The Angels are completely Hands Off. They're not meant to make him More than a Mere Human and interfering or speaking to him would potentially prophetize him and that defeats the Purpose. And once Lucifer gets involved, fighting over Adam's soul would make too much of a mess of things. They just have to hope that Adam makes correct choices and that ultimately, he does enough good to outweigh the bad and still ascends when the time comes.

Lucifer of course wouldn't be so keen on the idea. He probably knows that Heaven is Watching, but he would still do what he can to hide things from them. Adam is His now, he's decided, and he won't let them take him away.

Adam's Faith:

When Adam was dropped into the human world without his memories, he was more or less deposited outside a church so a priest took him in. He was late teens at that point, so he wasn't exactly Raised, but he was very influenced when the Church helped him when he was at his lowest and most vulnerable point. And he inherently had Faith because despite not having memories, he can still Feel it in his Soul that Heaven and the tales of the Bible are Real. So entering the Faith only made sense. Also as sort of a way to repay the Church for taking care of him when he needed it most.

He didn't really bother pursuing other interests or possibilities because he's fairly limited while living out of a Church, so it just makes sense to stick with what he was given instead of having to build up from Nothing.

Adam and Lucifer:

Lucifer goes into this whole thing with the plan to make Adam Sin enough to be condemned and disrupt Heaven's plans. It shifted from random impersonal sins to wanting to make Adam Sin with Him specifically when he noticed the now-human man Clearly had some feelings for him.

The thing is, Adam is at Such a base state, he's not all too different from how he was in Eden. Not exactly, of course, there are a lot of different factors. But there's still a sort of childish playfulness and naivete that is Endearing. Lucifer was Fond of Adam then and he finds himself becoming Fond of him now. Sure he's not going to jump into and real deep feelings or anything immediately, but its not /impossible/.

Lucifer doesn't hide the fact that he's The Devil for Long. Adam figures out very quickly that he's a demon and Lucifer never disputes that, letting him believe it for a time. But he doesn't lie about his name and he doesn't lie about his status. When Adam asks the right questions, he learns who exactly he's dealing with. Which would explain why he was able to walk on hallowed ground and why he could spray him with holy water from a super soaker and the most it did was tingle and sizzle a little bit.

Maybe there is some sort of Merit to Adam 'distracting the devil' as it were, but in reality, Lucifer wasn't actually... Doing anything or tempting anybody. Other demons use his name, but he personally doesn't want to deal with More Sinners in Hell, he already doesn't want to deal with the amount that's there, why would he try to tempt more? Adam is a special case because its at first to piss off Heaven and then because he genuinely just wants Adam to be by his side when he dies.

Adam will one day have his feelings reciprocated because Lucifer is a sap like that. And Lucifer will give Adam some of the first genuine affection he's ever had in his life, which only makes him fall harder. But they have plenty of time to figure themselves out.

Lucifer:

It started as a way to get back at Heaven, truly. But it didn't take long for his goals to change. Less about condemning this Holy Man and more about Keeping Adam by his side. He does spend a lot of time on Earth because of this. Which is very new to him. He hadn't really been to Earth before this, but the scope of hos exploration is very small, so he mostly just sticks to following Adam around and being a nuisance.

He doesn't spend _all_ his time on Earth, he's still in Hell. But he was rather isolated there, barely taking care of his own duties as King as it was, so his absence isn't really noticed all too much except for the people who Know what he's up to. Which basically amounts to Asmodeus and his publicist (an OC I have that's more or less a constant in every universe who has to deal with Lucifer's public image good and bad).

Charlie and Lilith are not really on his radar. Sure he misses them both, but neither of them are actively in his life at that point, so his energy and mind are focused on Adam instead.

Adam's loneliness:

While his loneliness is certainly pronounced in the way he doesn't really have friends or true connections at the Church he lives and works at, it something much deeper than that. Adam has Always been isolated. Heaven was very isolating for him in ways he wouldn't know or think to express.

Adam was the first Human Soul in Heaven, but he wasn't Quite a Winner either. He was something More. He's in a position between the two that meanst he inherently felt Othered by both. That, plus his behavior and attitude made it incredibly difficult to make any real connections on Heaven. The closest was with his Exorcists, who respected and cared for him still as a superior so it never really went beyond that. Even Lute was still subordinate to him, even though he treated her most as his equal. But ultimately he was very lonely.

So that loneliness pervades into his Human life. He doesn't know how to connect with people, not really. And again, being in a position of authority over others makes him feel isolated again. He's the only priest at his church, so he doesn't have someone of his same rank to connect with either. And he's never had parents or siblings or any of those built-in relationships that teach you how to connect to people. He's a grown man who has always had to start from scratch.

And that makes it all the easier to fall into it when Lucifer offers him companionship. Not even sexual but just... Someone willing to talk with him and be silly and hang out.

[unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin]

Please make this into a fic au idea. A world where couples take on a third partner that is basically a stay at home spouse as a show of their wealth or success. This would either be with Becky and Seth or Brandi and Cody and it could easily be a Yandere sort of thing

Take Care Of You

Summary: In a desperate attempt to pay off your crushing debt you sign up for a new program that matches you with wealthy couples looking for a third.

An: this idea has been in my head since wrestlemania this year, and I’m planing on it being a multi chapter fic. People said they wanted this with Cody and Brandi, but I’d be willing to do versions with other wrestling couples(Seth and Becky, miz and maryse, Mox and Renne, Brit and Adam, etc)

Warnings: Yandere, Yandere!Cody and Brandi, sort of sexism but only to reader, they treat readers like she’s meant to be a homemaker but don’t think women in general should be, classism, controlling behavior, money abuse, they’re daughter Liberty is a baby in this, fem!reader, power imbalance

Taglist: @melissahausen @writtingrose @peachmango-kombucha @xkennyxomegax @fiskers7136 @bellalutionn @tummyyellin @thesusbunny

“God damnit…” you mumbled as you pulled yet another bill out of your small mailbox slot. It seemed like every time you checked your mail all you found were these stupid red envelopes telling you you needed to pay for something else.

You made your way up the two flights of stairs to your tiny one bedroom apartment, leaning back against the door to shut it. Your feet hurt from your 12 hour shift at the restaurant, you were sticky from spilling shit on yourself all day, and you desperately wanted to collapse in your bed before you have to be up on 5 hours for a shift at your second job of a local coffee shop, but you needed to shower first.

You walked over to the table, tossing your purse onto the couch and planing on tossing the bills into the already large pile of them, but stopped when you noticed another envelope you hadn’t read down in the lobby. A part of you wanted to ignore it, if it was another bill you could at least act like you didn’t see it, but it looked slightly different than the normal things you got. The envelope was a cream color and had a logo you didn’t recognize on it. The main thing you noticed about it was that your address and name and everything was handwritten.

You set the other stuff down and opened the envelope. Inside was a hand written letter.

Dear, Y/n L/n

Thank you so much for your interest in our program. After careful consideration we are delighted to inform you that you have been accepted! Please call the following number to schedule a consultation to begin the next steps.

Sincerely, Coast Connection Agency

Coast connection agency? You stared at the letter for a moment before it clicked in your head what exactly you were looking at. Months ago, probably 6 months ago, you had gone searching on the internet for any way to earn some extra money and you found this website. It was a new program, only a few years old and was extremely selective, but its purpose was to connect well off couples with a third partner. From what you read it was a bit like a sugar daddy/mommy situation, but the couples were…rich rich. The website said up front that NDA’s would be signed and that the relationship would be, on some level, a business deal.

If you were smart, you would have ignored the website completely. It was one of those ‘to good to be true’ things, or something you sign up for and end up on the news because you went missing, but you had been so desperate. You had just lost one of your jobs, behind on bills, house completely barren of food, and nothing but an overdraft fee in your account, so you took the chance and signed up. There had been application after application, most of it asking you about your financial issues and job history, you even had to take a personality test, and apparently you had done okay because you had made the cut.

At the bottom on the letter was a phone number, and with the letter was a pamphlet of reviews from others who had done it. Most of the reviews were positive, talking about how it helped them get out of debt and completely changed their way of life. One even claimed it helped him find his ‘soul mates’ and that he was so happy with the couple he was matched with. You didn’t necessarily believe in soulmates, and even if you did you highly doubted that they could be found in a relationship like this. But you couldn’t argue with the results, people seemed to be happy with what they got from the agency, maybe this was the step for you to take. You decided to call tomorrow after your shifts and pinned the paper to your fridge before slugging off to shower and finally get some sleep.

***************

“…and we have one final question for you, Ms. L/n,” the woman on the other end of the phone told you. You’d been on the call for three hours now, answering what felt like a hundred questions. When you’d called a week ago they had said you’d need to block out a large chunk of time for the phone interview, but you hadn’t expected it to be this long. You also were slightly surprised by the questions. They were all about your preferences in the relationship if they found you a couple. They asked about spending habits, restaurants you liked, if your drank, clothes you liked, brands you enjoyed, past relationships, what you would do in certain situations, if you’d be open to sex in the relationship, and everything else under the sun. You weren’t sure what you had been expecting but this wasn’t it.

“Okay,” you waited a moment for her to ask her question.

“Would you be willing to relocate for the relationship?”

You didn’t answer immediately, and your eyes drifted outside. You lived in a relatively small town, in one of the only apartment complexes they had. It was about three hours from where you grew up, and you had moved here for an old ex. The only reason you stayed was because it was too expensive to move again, leaving you feeling trapped in this town.

“…yes.”

“Wonderful! I think we have enough information to create a profile for you, and we will match you with a couple as soon as we can. Results will be emailed to you, but we always warn that the couple must approve the match before it’s sent to you and we cannot guarantee that a match will be made, so you understand?”

”yeah. I’m mean, yes, I understand,” you nodded though she couldn’t actually see you.

“Perfect. You have a wonderful rest of your day ma’am.”

“You too,” you said before the phone disconnected.

*************

You couldn’t believe it. You got a match.

After your interview you didn’t hear from anyone for two months, and you started to worry that you made a mistake. Luckily, they hadn’t taken any super personal info so you wouldn’t be completely screwed, but after the interview questions they knew a hell of a lot about you, which is what worried you. But one morning you happened to check your email and found one from the company.

Congratulations! You have been matched with a couple! Attached to the email is a photo and some basic information. If you would like to continue with the process please email back immediately.

You quickly opened the attachment and were met with a photo of what had to be the most picture perfect couple. It was a man and a woman, both dressed formally (it looked like they were at some sort of dinner party.) The man had bleached blond hair and what looked like a tattoo on his neck, though his head was turned in just a way that you couldn’t quite see it. The woman looked like the pinnacle of beauty. Her hair and make up was perfect, and her eyes had a shine on them that made them look like pools of honey.

You weren’t really sure how long you stared at the photo, it was so mesmerizing. They were both very athletic looking, muscles evident on both making you think they must do something in the health industry. It was also evident that they had quite a bit of money. From the clothing to the accessories and the food on the table in front of them, it all screamed luxury. You hadn’t worked at a lot of fancy restaurants but the meal in front of them probably cost more than your paycheck.

Next, you moved onto the written information. There wasn’t a tone, just a few snippets of their life and what they wanted out of the relationship. They were from Atlanta Georgia and want someone willing to come live there. They had a daughter, but no info about her was there. They are looking for someone who would take on house hold responsibilities and have a sexual relationship with both of them. You’d never thought of yourself as a homemaker, and children never felt like something that was on the table for you, but you didn’t hate the idea. And honestly, the idea that these two very attractive people had chosen you was a bit of an ego booster. You were good enough to get their attention.

You read over everything one more time before deciding to go for it. You typed up an email and sent it before you could chicken out. You had said you were interested in moving forward and at least meeting the couple. At the very bottom of the email they sent you was the names of the couple. Brandi and Cody Rhodes.

*****************

Unknown: hello

You frowned down at the message as you walked out of your shift for the night. You’d closed so you hadn’t had a chance to check your phone for a while, the message was sent hours ago.

Um, hello? Who is this?

You were shocked when the person responded almost immediately.

Unknown: sorry, should have introduced myself. It’s Cody, from the website. We got the green light to reach out to you

You stared at the message, shocked for a moment. It was him, the cute guy from the email. He was texting you, right now. You were stood still on the sidewalk when three little dots popped up as he continued to type.

Unknown: this is y/n l/n, right?

oh! Yes, it is. Sorry I didn’t answer sooner, I just finished my shift

You panicked slightly at the fact that you hadn’t responded sooner. What if he thought you weren’t serious about what was happening? If he thought you were rude and didn’t want to talk to you any more? Rich people can be so hard to predict when it comes to what will or won’t offend them.

Unknown: oh, are you heading home? We could talk when you get back home, I don’t want to keep you out longer than you need to be.

You sent a last message saying it’d take not be about 10 minutes before booking it home. You didn’t have a car and your town didn’t really have public transportation, the best was a bus that stopped rides at 5pm, so that meant you were basically running back to your apartment. Once you got there you were quickly getting up to yours and pulling your phone out again to add the number as a contact.

You: Okay. Im Home

Cody: good to know you made it back safely.

Cody: I have my wife Brandi here too. We wanted to get a conversation started since you said you were interested

You’re nervous we’re going crazy as you read over the messages. It’s seemed so weird, you were talking to some rich couple you’d never met before but they wanted to pay for you to live. Not only that, but also have a relationship with you. You almost felt… dirty when you thought about it.

You: it’s nice to meet you both

Cody: we’d like to cut to the chase, we are looking to get into something slightly quickly. We don’t want to rush you at all but we’d like to meet as soon as possible

You hesitated at his message. Should that be a red flag? They want to meet even though this is the first time you’ve ever spoken.

Cody: We’d be willing to pay for you to come out to Atlanta to meet. We’d pay for everything like the flight, hotel, food, even whatever you’d be missing out on from work.

You: I don’t want to seem rude or anything, but this is the first time we’ve ever spoken

When he didn’t respond immediately your heart sank. You shouldn’t have said that, god, why were you so stupid?

Cody: we understand your hesitation, we’ve just have been looking for a while

Cody: would you like to FaceTime? Then you could at least see that we’re who we say we are

You: um, sure. Just a warning, I’m a mess. I just got off shift.

Only seconds later the call for the video chat popped up on your phone. You took a second to take a deep breath and then pushed accept.

The man from the original photo you’d been set popped up on the screen. He was sat back on a couch wearing a sweats and a teeshirt, and next to him was the woman who was dressed similarly. After a second both smiled at you.

“Hi,” Cody greeted.

“Hi…” you gave a nervous wave which you immediately regretted. God, why were you being so awkward?

“You look pretty good for just getting off a shift.” You blushed slightly at his words and watched as his wife smacked him gently.

“Ignore him, he’s a flirt,” Brandi told you. “He doesn’t think about the fact that this may be awkward for you.”

You laughed slightly nervously but gave a little smile. The rest of the conversation got a little less awkward as you got to know each other. Most of the conversation was about you, them asking what you did full time and what you spent your free time doing. They were…nice, and they clearly loved each other in the way that they interacted.

“So, we’d really like to meet you in person.” Brandi finally said. “Like Cody told you we can pay for your whole trip and we can start to get to know each other better.”

“I don’t know, I don’t want to take your money if we don’t even know if it’s gonna work.” You admitted.

“It’s really not that much to pay for a trip, and it would be no strings attached. You could decide to not do anything and we won’t be angry.” Cody assured you. “We just think it would be important for us to talk in person. We travel for work but will be home for the week next week, we’d like to do it then.”

You bit your lip as you thought about the offer. You felt a little guilty about taking money, but a part of you loved the idea of being able to take a week of work and go on a trip without being worried about bills.

“Um… okay.”

Both of them smiled at your answer. “Perfect. We’ll get everything lined up and payed for!” Brandi excitedly said. “Do you have any preferences on what hotel you stay in or what airline you take?”

You shook your head. “It’s your money, it’s up to you.”

“Okay, we can talk about it more tomorrow, I assume you’re tired after your shift.”

You all said goodbye before hanging up and getting ready to go to sleep. As you brushed your teeth you realized that you felt slightly giddy after the conversation. It was like a school girl crush, they were nice and you felt good talking to them.

As you got into bed your phone pinned and you reached over to check it. It showed a notification from PayPal, someone had sent you $200 and you had a message from Cody.

Cody: enjoy a day off sometime

[d6volution]

Corporeal

Caine/Fem!Reader

caine wants to learn more about humans, so why not become one himself? surely, these new waves of emotions and new desires won't become an issue.

tags: mutual pining, eventual smut, fluff, human!caine, lingerie, reader is down bad for caine but won't admit it, implied masturbation.

Chapter Two.

(previous chapter.)

As an AI Caine didn't feel love, or even fear death. If anything the notion of both seemed more like entertainment to him.

This human trial was proving to be more complex than he initially thought, but what fun that would be? It was in his nature to be curious and seek out answers so that's exactly what he intended to do.

-----------------

The following day Caine waited til what he thought to be a reasonable time to show up at your door, but he just stood there. Hand hesitating to knock. A new feeling,  he thought.

"Oh! Need some help there Caine?" Kinger said, shufing over to him, lifting Caine's hand and helping him knock at the door. Kinger chuckled, "Always gets me too." And just like that he walked away. Perhaps everyone is right, he really is losing his marbles.

But Caine didn't have long to think about his strange and brief interaction with Kinger because you swung open the door. "Oh, Caine.. uh. what are you doing here?" You felt a little disheveled, trying to hide your form behind the door unconsciously. You usually had time to properly groom yourself before speaking with him.

He had to compose himself, clear his throat and remember why he was at your door in the first place, his persona switched on. "Gooood morning, y/n! I hope you're right ripe and ready for today, me and you will be going on a.. mini adventure of sorts!"

"Huh? Just us? Wait— why?" You almost didn't want to ask, afraid he'd suggest others to join.

"Now, now not too many questions, you'll spoil the fun my dear!" He said and patted your head gently.

You blinked and nodded, "Right.. well can I.. freshen up?"

"Of course, I'll be right here!" And he wasn't kidding, he'd stand at your door idly waiting as you shut it. You stared at your room with wide eyes, back to the door, "What the hell." You mutteted, was this some kind of prank? Did someone tip Caine off that you liked him? Why else would he be singling you out??

Maybe you're overthinking it. Definitely over thinking it.

You exited your room soon after, rushing out of the door you didn't realize that Caine was literally still standing in the same spot causing you to bump into him. He caught you mid way, large hands clutching your waist as he helped you up.

Soft, he thought.

"S-Sorry, Caine you really shouldn't stand that close to the door.." You said, a little flushed from embarrassment.

"Duly noted!" He held out his hand without speaking and the moment you grabbed it you were both teleported outside of the tent.

You still hadn't got used to that, your stomach was churning by you managed to hold it back. ".. What are we doing here again..?" You finally asked.

"Well, to put it simply you're going to be my little test bunny, y/n! Bubble isn't really any help at the moment.... and you! Well you're making my body react in all sorts of wacky ways!" He admitted.

"What.. exactly do you mean, wacky?" You said, trying to understand, knowing this all must be just as confusing for him.

"Well, I couldn't stop thinking about you last night. It was quite strange, I usually don't care too much about you all after hours but you were eating away at my mind, y/n!" He stopped and grabbed your shoulders dramatically and you flushed.

"And since that happens to be the case, I plan on keeping you by my side. For research purposes of course!"

This was.. a little messed up, in a sense. You felt torn between flattered and like he was playing with your emotions. But it could it really be helped..? You were stuck here. What else did you have to do with your time? Caine was the only one here you seemed to be the least bit attracted to so why not go along with it.

You cleared your throat, "Well, I see personal space still isn't a thing for you," You jested and he slowly let go of your shoulders, your mind briefly missed the contact.

"Personal space.. got it! Now, my dearest y/n, do tell me. I'm aware you're memories from before now are quite hazy but did you have any hobbies?"

What an odd question. Was he trying to .. get to know you? You had to think, "You're right.. it is hard to remember, but I know I loved being out doors. Walks, picnics... simple things like that were always nice. Though I'm not really sure that really counts as a hobby." You chuckled.

You laughed and he felt that pang in his chest again, he was silent for a moment.

"Yes, yes! All those things sound wonderful, hobbie or not you spend your time well! Come, let's go to the digital lake." He takes your hand without thinking, dragging you along towards the lake. You stumbled behind him, but kept up with his pace. You glanced down at your hands, and how his larger one dwarfed yours.

It made you think about other parts of his body, the way his fitted suit hugged his waist. Buttons struggling to keep his firm chest hidden away—

What were you thinking?? He's an AI. You scolded yourself before your thoughts could even lift off the ground.

"Here we are, I know it isn't quite the same but I think this should do just fine!" He snapped his fingers and a plaid throw blanket was laid out as well as a picnic basket. "Well don't just stand there , take a seat!" He said with a grin.

"I .. I wasn't expecting a picnic now." You said amused by his eagerness and plopped down next to him. You leaned over and opened up the picnic basket and there was nothing inside. "Caine?"

His eyes were busy, when you leaned over his gaze caught a glimpse of your cleavage, luckily before you made eye contact he was already looking away and tugging at his collar a little, "Oh , yes! What.. did you usually pack in your little basket?" His cheeks were dusted with the lightest tint of red.

"Hm.. sandwiches, water.. maybe other fruit on the side?" In the blink of the eye, pixelated versions of everything you named was now in the basket.

"Wow. That must be extremely convenient," You laughed a little, only now noticing the blush on his cheeks that seemed to be fading. "You're blushing.. does sitting out in front of a nice scenery do that to you?" You joked and he almost agreed, because you were the nice scenery at the moment.

"Oh, no no! It must be..sitting this close to you! I told you y/n this janky human body has a mind of its own!" Caine tapped at his baton at the ground a little, becoming fidgety. "Anyways, what a grand time this was! How about we head back? Our best bubble chef must be hard at work preparing dinner we wouldn't want to spoil our appetite too much now would we?" The words spilled from his mouth unceremoniously.

"A.. Already are you sure we just got here—" You tried to protest but he was dead set on ending the picnic so abruptly.

"Don't worry your pretty little head, we always have tomorrow after all!" He grinned and instead of taking your hands he made the bold decision to grab your waist instead. Teleporting you right back in front of your door.

"Well, until tomorrow y/n!" He tried to hurry off but you yanked him by the collar and brushed your lips against his cheek, and before he could respond you hurried into your room like a flustered school girl.

Gosh, what were you doing?

Caine was flustered, confused and utterly enamored. He didn't have a wacky comment to make, he simply relished in these emotions, though.. his thoughts flashed back to your chest and those feelings were amplified but now the feeling wasn't in his chest.. but somewhere lower. This human program was eating away at his base coding.

These desires were bubbling to the surface, and he'd have to... take care of it somewhere more private.

Unbeknownst to him you were having a similar issue. It didn't help that you were not only crushing on the ringmaster but you were touch starved as well..  in the emptiness of your room, away from judgement you thought about how it would feel if Caine was on top of you, touching you and praising you in that charming voice of his.

It wasn't fair.. it wasn't fair, you repeated. But he remained in your mind as you climaxed on your fingers to the thought of him..

You could only dread to think about what he'd think of you doing such a inappropriate thing with him in mind.

Little did you know he was doing the exact same thing while thinking of you.

(chapter three.)

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Warning: Manhandling

18+ MINORS DNI

After the boathouse and the defeat of Vecna (that bitch is dead and Max is just fine), Eddie kind of sort of figures out that Steve might possibly likes to be manhandled. He decided to test that theory. . .A LOT. He manhandles Steve constantly. He's pushed him roughly against the counter to reach around him to get a glass, grinning at him as he would do so while his crotch brushed up against the other man's. He's once held him face first against the fridge while he reached for something on top of said fridge. He's picked Steve up, set him roughly on top of the counter, and opened the drawers between his legs while holding a tight grip on Steve’s thigh.

It got to the point where Steve started getting in his way on purpose. Eddie had definitely noticed. Dustin had apparently picked up on it, too, but from his point of view, it looked differently. It was the last straw for Dustin, who had just seen Eddie push Steve up against a wall yet again.

"What the hell, Eddie?! Would you please stop trying to damage our babysitter? Hasn't he had enough concussions? I mean, I thought you guys were getting along! What is your - "

"Shut up, Dustin!" Steve said quickly. "He knows exactly what he's doing!"

"Ugh! I'm just trying to help you, Steve!" Dustin exclaimed. "Ugh, whatever. I'm riding my bike to the arcade. Eddie, do whatever the hell you want to him. I'm out."

Dustin made sure to slam the front door behind as he stormed out. Eddie turned to Steve with a gleeful smile on his face.

"I knew it! I knew since the boathouse! Steve Harrington likes being manhandled!" Eddie exclaimed.

"Yeah, you knew because you felt it on your thigh, jackass," Steve replied, blushing.

"I certainly did. Why do you think I called you 'Big Boy'?" Eddie asked, raising an eyebrow. "The house is now empty, and Dustin did say I could do whatever I wanted to you. . .Can I do whatever I want to you?"

"Yes!"

Eddie pushed him up against the wall, pinned his hands above his head, and kissed him roughly. Eddie grinned against his lips when he felt Steve go weak.