#for everyone is for no one

[mk-wizard]

Spider-Man 2017: It COULD have been perfect

Now that I have calmed down today... I want to make it clear that I don’t hate the 2017 Spider-Man cartoon (which I will call 2017-Spidey for simplicity). In fact, I do like it. I just don’t love it. What I hate is how it being FA (for all ages) ruined it. If it had been allowed to be mature, take itself seriously and really be superhero show instead of a kid’s show, it could have raised the bar and no, I am not exaggerating. And to prove my point, I am going to list its best point of being rated FA ruined each of them. Note that I will not waste my time talking about the bad points. Period.

I will also give a heads up that there will be a spoilers ahead.

1- It had fresh new ideas that worked. - This show tried to do a lot of things differently which I have to admit wound up working really well. To be very honest, I liked that 2017-Spidey’s Harry Osborne rose out of his father’s shadow and not only became the Hobgoblin, but also a hero who stood up to his dad (which is a moment all Harry fans were waiting for) and found peace with himself for a change. It was a nice surprise and the way Harry’s characters development progressed was actually pretty decent. In fact, Harry’s my favourite character in the show for that reason. I even liked that for once, Dr. Conners was a bad guy because this version of him worked in the story being told. His motives made sense and watching him be bad was entertaining. Truth be told, him selfishly testing on himself was always a not so virtuous motive anyway.

-But it tried too many new things at once, so the good new ideas got drowned out. - Due to being FA, instead of concentrating on the three new good ideas it had (Harry-Hobgoblin and Villain Conners were two of them) and making them great, it was fixated on novelty. There was always a new character, a new villain of the day, a new version of an existing character and a new something which is a formula used in cartoons for preschoolers and younger. The show became disorganized and episodic format would constantly get broken. It started to feel like a borderline toy commercial like an outdated 80s Saturday morning cartoon. Most of the episodes could be classified as empty filler.

2- It gave an origin story to Dr. Octopus and showed his progression towards villainy. - One of my favourite character arcs in Batman the Animated Series was Two-Face’s in which we saw him start off as Harvey Dent to becoming the iconic villain. When I heard that 2017-Spidey was going to do this with my favourite Spider-Man villain Dr. Octopus, I was elated. Seeing him be Peter Parker’s teacher in the beginning of the series, so that the two of them form a bond and then have become the villain of Spider-Man yet still have that kindness towards Peter Parker would have been one for the ages.

- But he along with his story arc were reinvented, rushed and crashed. - I know I said this in another article, but I will say it again here. They aged him down to be 19 and in doing so, diminished his character into that of a rude, arrogant and unkind egoist. Unlike the reinvention of Harry Osborn into a heroic Hobgoblin, the reinvention of Otto Octavious as a young, mean-spirited sadist doesn’t work because part of what makes Dr. Octopus special as a villain IS his age and life experience. He needs to be an adult the same way Harry needs to be Norman’s son. Without his adulthood, maturity and lingering humanity, he’s just a generic villain not complex nor sympathetic. Young Otto would have worked better as a flashback version where he is that mean smart kid in the beginning, but then finds his compassion and patience as a teacher while the current day version of the doctor would be a kindly adult man with haunting trauma.

3- It finally brought Miles Morales to television. - This is the third new good idea in my opinion. Miles Morales is one of Marvel’s best new heroes because he is humble, he is his own man, and he is a genuinely good person. Also, his mentor-student relationship with Peter Parker is heartwarming. They have a big brother and little brother dynamic. His story arcs are worth telling and have shaped him as a Marvel hero. At this point, he should appear regularly in the media.

- But he was held back. - I also said this in another article that Miles needs to be younger than Peter in order for his character and their dynamic to make sense. If they’re the same age, Peter comes across as condescending and a know-it-all especially when Miles gets labeled as “Kid-Arachnid” and plays as second fiddle. Officially, Peter and Miles have eight years difference at least in the comics, so if Peter is a teen here, Miles should be a child. If it means not giving him his powers yet, so be it. It is ok to foreshadow instead. Miles is not “less than” Peter Parker nor is he just another Spider in some Spider-Themed-Fantastic-Four (there was really no need for Ghost-Spider or Spider-Girl). He’s the next Spider-Man. That merits respect and recognition in every media.

4- It had interesting story arcs that could have been very badass. - While some story arcs just came out of nowhere like the Maximum Venom final arc, some arcs were actually really great. The Jackal saga was my favourite and made me a Jackal fan, so was the goblin saga and even the spider-island story had great bones and truly chilling premises. There were bio-engineered horrors, super robots, the mob, a pandemic and cultism.

- But they were diluted in order to be “for all ages”. - These sophisticated story arcs were turned immature with an art style was too cute, too much comic relief, progressing too fast and not letting the characters act serious or realistic in the situations they were put in. These arcs became forgettable, dumbed down, unenjoyable and went just as soon as they came. Since I also brought up comedy, I have to be blunt as someone who has been reading Spider-Man comics for years, Spider-Man is NOT a comedy, and the titular hero is not a clown. The Spider-Man comics touch a lot of serious topics which it handles with care, it has action scenes that can get very brutal, and Spider-Man is constantly making tough decisions that always have consequences for better or worse. His quips actually reinforce how dark and stressful his life is. He is always joking, so he doesn’t have a breakdown and sometimes, he still has one anyway. In a way, Spider-Man is Marvel’s Batman except his element is light. Everything got kickstarted due to the death of Uncle Ben after all.

And this is why 2017-Spidey was only an ok cartoon. Being rated FA roadblocked it from being a perfect modern Spider-Man cartoon and I really hope that Marvel learns from this. FA does not work.

Thanks for reading and as always, stay safe.

-Mary

PS: I heard a rumor that Spider-Man: Freshman Year is being cancelled and to be very honest, after seeing how and why 2017-Spidey flopped, maybe it is for the best. I feel very bad for people who may lose jobs but shows that bomb will cause you to lose your job anyway and keep you from getting rehired in that same field. Perhaps Marvel should take a break. If it means that its next cartoon will not be for small children, but it will be great, I can wait.

[desperatepleasures]

one time I used the ben affleck smoking reaction image in the family group chat and my mom replied with the funniest possible response which was: "mommy doesn't know who the guy is???" and that phrase has not left my brain since. I'll see blorbos on my dash that I don't recognize and I'll be like well it seems mommy doesn't know who the guy is.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Knowledge Revenge.

[kiddokori]

Donate eSims through Connecting Humanity or Crips for esims for Gaza

Visit gazafunds.com to be given a random gofundme to donate to

Email your representatives (if you live in the US) using afsc.org

Donate to the Palestine Children’s Relief Fund, Medical Aid for Palestinians, or Pious Projects to help provide mutual aid

Learn more at decolonizepalestine.com

[marzipanandminutiae]

"hey why are all the barrier garments like linen shirts or chemises or combinations going away?"

"oh we have more washable fabrics now! you don't need to worry about sweat reaching your outer clothing when you can just chuck it in the washing machine!"

"cool!"

[100 years later]

"so uh all of those new washable fabrics are leaching microplastics into our water, and the constant machine-washing wears garments out faster. they're also not really sturdy enough to be mended, so we keep having to throw them out and now the planet is covered in plastic fabric waste that will never break down. also it turns out that the new washable fabrics hold odor-causing bacteria VERY well. so could we get those barrier garments back please?"

"sorry babe linen now costs $100000/yard and since it's been so long without them, nobody knows how to adapt barrier garments to the current styles anyway"

"..."

"maybe try this new $50 undershirt made of Special Sweat-Wicking Plastic Fabric! :) :) :)"

[beepboopappreciation]

Is this anything

[wasabi-gumdrop]

local ladies man’s signature move totally useless against autistic monster enthusiast. more on Kabru’s fumble era at 6

[tuttle-did-it]

David Tennant for Prime Minister, please.

edit- Since this is getting so much attention, edited to include descriptions of screenshots.

This woman has lost her fucking mind.

Jo, are you okay?

[foccaccia]

the worst part about being an adult is thay its no longer socially acceptable to just roll down a really big hill and then run back up it and roll back down again. "oh is this a syphilis metaphor" passerby would ask. "is this for a tick tock". no i just wanna come home covered in dirt and scratches and bask in the the solace of childlike mirth

[starbuck]

i say i like tragedies and everyone’s all like ‘why do you like sad stories? are you depressed?’ and never ‘how was the catharsis? was the catharsis fun?’

[skipppppy]

Congrats?

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

whens megatron coming back

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The math just adds up!

[skipar00]

fuck it I was persuaded to post

New Orleans Miku