#for dramatic effect 😜

[blackberrysummerblog]

Hi all! Thank you @rimeswithpurple, @cutestkilla, @thewholelemon, and @forabeatofadrum for the recent tags! I can’t believe it’s already this late in the year. It’s not Sunday yet, but I’m working tomorrow so I’m just going ahead and posting early so I can feel like I did something. I know tomorrow can be a hard day for some, but here’s wishing a very Happy Mother’s Day to those of you to whom it applies, and a peaceful day to those for whom it’s a little more difficult ❤️

I’ve been relatively busy with my writing this week (GASP) so I have a couple of things to share. First, some Baz POV from the second chapter of The Field Trap—things are looking up at last:

Eight snakes and a dragon. I knew he would be wet when he came blustering in—it’s why I unpacked his rucksack and laid his spare clothes out by the lit stove—but I still wasn’t prepared for the sight of Simon Snow’s ridiculously thin t-shirt and uniform pants cleaving to his body as though they’d become part of his skin. His chest is heaving, his curls are dripping in his eyes, and he’s holding aloft a brace of four large rabbits that he’s already cleaned.

Honey, I’m home, he’d said, and I know it was a joke, but if I wasn’t dead before, I certainly am now.

“Wipe your feet before you come in any farther,” I say shortly. “Dry clothes are by the fire.” I turn my back and hear him laying down the rabbits and his bow and arrows. Two loud thumps signal his shoes coming off, and then there’s the slushy sound of wet cloth rubbing against itself as Simon makes his way over to the fire.

“You laid my clothes out for me,” he says, like he’s awestruck. I bite the inside of my cheek and stare up at the ceiling, trying not to visualize what’s going on behind me as I hear his sodden clothes hitting the floor. “Baz?”

“What.” Who am I kidding, I’m very much visualizing all of it.

“You can look.” His throat sounds dry. I shake my head, eyes squeezed shut now with the effort of holding my fangs in. “Do you not want to?”

I try to think about everything I told him earlier. He’s going to end up following the Mage to the end of our world someday, and I’ll have to stand with my family. I think about my fangs, ready to burst from my gums at just a hair’s more provocation. I think about how inexperienced with all this I am, and I feel hopeless. And yet…

I turn around.

My second share is from the piece I’m doing for COBB, which I’m really happy to say that the first 5000 word chapter is completely written for. I feel strangely…competent? LOL. Here’s a bit of Dev POV:

And he did. I watched with a cold sort of horror as my cousin, always the more powerful magician of the two of us, stood on our balcony and asked the universe for a handsome man with blue eyes, golden skin dusted with stars, and curls that were neither fully blond nor brown. He would be strong, brave of heart, and make the best sour cherry scones in the world (sour cherry? That’s not even a real type of scone, I wanted to say). Instead I’d said, “That doesn’t sound impossible,” in spite of the sparkly-sounding skin. Baz had given me stink-eye as only he could and can, before adding the coup de grace: “He will have the blood-red wings of a dragon, and a tail.”

It had taken all I had not to burst into laughter at that, but my headstrong cousin was already pressing rose petals into the potion and blowing his breath onto them as he tossed them out into the night air. “Baz,” I’d admonished, but the spell was cast, his heartbroken wish already caught by the breeze and curling up, up, towards where the full moon hung heavy and silent in the sky.

Have a great week everyone! No-pressure tags: @drowninginships @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @nightimedreamersworld @arthurkko @artsyunderstudy @facewithoutheart @iamamythologicalcreature @aristocratic-otter @tender-ministrations @valeffelees @mooncello @confused-bi-queer @beastmonstertitan @prettygoododds @youarenevertooold @raenestee @roomwithanopenfire @asocialpessimist @hushed-chorus @papierhaikuphoto @stitchy-queerista @orange-peony @brilla-brilla-estrellita @ivelovedhimthroughworse @bookish-bogwitch @c0nsumemy5oul @aceumbrellaheroes @larkral @letraspal @stardustasincocaine @cows4247 @shrekgogurt @j-nipper-95 @ic3-que3n @ileadacharmedlife @wellbelesbian @carryonsimoncarryonbaz @onepintobean @theearlgreymage @imagineacoolusername @mostlymaudlin @shutup-andletme-go @sailorblossoms @hertragedyconnoisseur @yellobb @ionlydrinkhotwater @alleycat0306

[fleurlumii]

BOY DAD ASHER HEADCANNONS!!!! (because it’s Father’s Day where i live rn so yea why not :3)

Oh and I decided to color-code these now too cause they look more fun that way

- Boy dad Asher who has an ongoing, very fierce rivalry with his son over which of them is Babe’s #1 (they assure them that they’re both #1 but the boys tend to get a lil bit too competitive, especially their son lmao)

- Boy dad Asher who plays pranks on David with his little boy as his willing accomplice (i.e one time during Halloween, they tag-teamed through Asher ringing on the doorbell & distracting David while his little boy quickly scurries inside as soon as David opens the door to steal all his trick-or-treating candy)

- Boy dad Asher who buys a toy pistol for his son (along with some cool matching mini shades too) & they both play pretend as the most badass Shaw Security duo who serve as Babe’s most trusted and loyal bodyguards. their little boy makes sure that he won’t let any harm get in Babe’s way whatsoever, even going as far as to “shoot” anyone who tries to talk to them (even Asher himself, who gladly complies with a dramatic grunt as he “dies”) with a daring “bang bang!” sound effect

- Boy dad Asher who tears up a bit (either from laughter or bewilderment) after hearing his son trying to imitate his deep, raspy voice while talking to the other adults in the pack. he feels a great sense of pride if they tell his son “you’re shaping up to be just as an amazing Beta as your father!”, though he snorts a bit if they mention that he might even overthrow David as Alpha

- Boy dad Asher to attempts to teach his little boy how to play Destiny after he sees him playing it, though it proves to be quite difficult for a five-year-old kid to comprehend quickly & easily. so instead, his son just watches him play all while cheering very loudly whenever he kills someone and calling their opponents “very mean” names through the microphone (Asher loves his opponents’ reactions to thinking they got obliterated by a little kid)

- Boy dad Asher who lets his little boy ride on his back on his shifted form and they go on long runs outside. sometimes they come back home really late at night so they have to do their best to move as quietly as they can to not wake Babe up (they don’t do a very good job at that with all the loud shushing, giggling, and bumping into things despite their heightened wolf senses)

- Boy dad Asher who (very loudly) sings along all sorts of songs in the car with his little boy with the windows rolled down. the songs could literally range from something as silly as Baby Shark, whimsical Disney songs such as Circle of Life from The Lion King & You’re Welcome from Moana to something as passionate as Wake Me Up Inside by Evanescence and Alone by Heart

- Boy dad Asher who, after his son gets into trouble at school for getting into a fight with some bullies who were picking on another kid, sees him hanging his head and holding back tears with a small bruise on his little cheek which breaks his heart (it reminded him a bit of Darlin’ when they were younger). he hugs him tight and assures him that he did the right thing (and jokingly asks if he won after ensuring that he’s okay)

- Boy dad Asher who pauses for a brief moment before letting out a soft chuckle and simply ruffling his son’s hair after declaring that he “wants a super duper cool scar too” after seeing the one on his chest

silly 😜

[kendsleyauthor]

Cliff and Oliver sharing a bed!!

(And Zia if you want 😉💓)

((MORE LIKE Oliver and Zia sharing a bed and the bed is Cliff and they all care deeply and tenderly about each other 😜 Anyway, OT3--))

The Hunter, The Healer, and The Harlot

“I swear, Oliver, if you don’t hold still, I will put you to sleep for a long, long time.” Zia snatched his wrist and spoke through gritted teeth. Pursing her lips, she waved her other fingers over his forearm, gradually knitting the wound shut.

The cut had been unfortunate collateral damage during a dead-end mission. There were no more fairies to be rescued at the warehouse a couple of towns over, but there had been lingering armed guards and a close call. Oliver had slashed himself escaping through a shattered window.

He had haphazardly healed it himself, and Cliff wasted no time in getting him back to the Safehouse—and Zia. She pitched a fit when she saw the poor healing job. Cliff had ushered them to his room since it was closer to the entrance than the healing ward.

“Good to know I’m not your worst patient, Zee.” Cliff rested his head on the pillow, watching the pair of fairies on the nightstand. A soft smile quirked on his lips as they squabbled.

“You’re a close second,” she groused, throwing a narrowed-eyed look at Cliff. “And much harder to hold down.”

“I’m not trying to be difficult, just look what I mean—” Oliver yanked his arm away, eliciting another agonized groan from Zia. “How come when I do it like this, there’s always a scar?” He murmured the healing incantation and waved a hand over the half-healed cut.

“Because you’re doing it wrong!” Zia wailed in distress and buried her face in her hands. She peeked between her fingers. “Cliff. Help. Please help before I strangle him.”

Oliver paused mid-spell to scoff. “Strangle? Sure You’re too sweet to—” The rest was cut off as Cliff sat up halfway and snatched him from the nightstand.

Any resulting protests died when Cliff pinned Oliver gently to his body, just below his chest. The squirms subsided almost immediately. He doubted Oliver would move even if he weren’t pinned on his back. 

“There,” Cliff said, flashing a smirk at Zia. “Shuts him up every time.”

“You do this to shut me up?” Oliver said, halfheartedly offended. He hummed. “Never mind. I won’t complain.”

“Seems effective.” Zia cracked a smile at the sight, flitting over. “Turn his arm over.” She nodded as Cliff flicked a finger and presented the back of Oliver’s forearm. “Perfect.”

She practically straddled Cliff’s index and middle fingers to reach the wound—inadvertently leaning over Oliver and sandwiching him between herself and Cliff. Oliver, for his part, contentedly turned his head to rub his cheek against Cliff’s shirt. Then he peeked up at Zia, and Cliff spotted the corner of a dizzy smile on his lips.

“I have something incredibly inappropriate to say,” Oliver announced. He sighed. “But I think I’ll just savor the moment.”

“And we thank you for that.” Zia seemed in much better spirits now that she didn’t have to strangle him. 

As she spoke the incantation, Cliff gingerly brushed her side with his thumb to keep her steady in her awkward position. She unabashedly leaned into his touch, and he swore he could feel her breathing slow to match the pace of his steady breaths beneath her. 

When she was finished, she flopped over beside Cliff’s hand and gave a heavy sigh.

Cliff chuckled and ran a fingertip across her forehead to swipe her hair out of her eyes. “I think being around Oliver makes you more dramatic,” he said.

Oliver, freed from Cliff’s hand, sat up and touched the healed wound. There was no trace of it other than a faint redness. “You’re incredible, Zee,” he sighed. “You should come with us next time.”

“So that you can comfortably throw yourself at every shard of glass in sight?” Zia laughed wryly. “No thanks.”

He waved her off. “Sharp objects can’t resist me, that’s not my fault. But really, really. The three of us would make such a great team. Think of it! The hunter, the healer, and…” Oliver put a hand on his chest and smiled prettily. “The harlot.”

Zia gave a beautiful whoop of laughter. “They’ll sing songs about us for generations to come.”

“See? It’s a good idea.” Oliver inspected the back of his forearm again and looked slightly less enthused. “You know… this actually would have been a great spot for a scar.”

Cliff delicately grabbed Oliver’s wrist and squinted. “You’re not wrong.”

“Stars.” Zia’s grin dropped into exasperated annoyance, but the aggravation didn’t quite reach the light in her eyes. “I’ve had enough. I’m heading back to the ward.” She stood on Cliff and stretched her arms and wings. “I prescribe you both with bed rest. Goodbye.”

“Oh, please. You know you’re in no mood to fly off.” Oliver stood and was by her side in an instant. “Why don’t you stay?”

Her face flushed. “I couldn’t.”

Cliff felt like a very dramatic play was being enacted on his torso. He cupped a hand beside the pair of them. “You could,” he said. “Plenty of room.” But he wasn’t holding his breath—Zia behaved as though the healing ward was her only source of oxygen.

She bit her lip and looked between them. “I don’t know…”

“Zia, dear.” Oliver took her hand. “You were in the ward before we left, you were in the ward when we arrived, and I’m sure you will be in the ward when Cliff and I meet some embarrassingly stupid death. You’re the best healer in the world, and all we’re asking for is a few moments for you to rest with us. Please.”

The melodramatic dumbass even kissed the back of her hand and clutched it to his chest, hitting her with the most pathetically puppy-eyed look in existence.

She gaped at him a second, and then gave a bemused laugh. “Fine.”

“Are you kidding me?” Cliff sat up a little, making the two fairies lose their footing and slide down a few inches—he dropped a hand to stop them. He pouted at Zia in particular. “I invite you to take a break all the damn time, and he gets a freakin’ yes just like that?”

She shrugged. “He’s very convincing.”

“You were pissed at him just a second ago!”

Oliver threw his arms around Zia’s shoulders, hugging her tightly. “She got over it. Besides, look at me. Who can stay pissed at this face?”

Cliff rolled his eyes.

Zia grinned teasingly. “I can leave if you’re that offended.”

“No,” Cliff said immediately.

He cupped both hands around the fairies and laid back down. After a brief pause to contemplate where to set them, he brought his hands higher and tucked the fairies near his neck.

As he eased the pressure, he smiled faintly at the sensation of them adjusting around each other and settling against him. His eyes fluttered shut at the sound of their hushed laughter and bickering about whose limbs should go where.

When they finally stopped moving, Cliff brushed a thumb down to feel them. He recognized Zia’s pixie cut and the scars on Oliver’s wings.

Cliff let out a slow, contented sigh. He couldn’t keep them safe every second of the day—but here and now, he could shield them from the world behind his hands.

((A/N: Your Honor, I love them.))

[quantumfizz]

Completely Uneducated Internet Opinion after seeing Oppenheimer and Barbie

The Barbie Movie focuses on a very specific lens of misogyny that doesn't show just how pervasive and horrific it really is, and it's painfully obvious that it's selling a brand of feminism that isn't too alienating to the status quo and is very "Oh well! The Kens will have as much power as us girls do in the real world ig. Get it? 😜" It just leaves a sour taste in my mouth, but it's about as politically aware and active a multimillion dollar Warner Brothers film based on a Mattel IP can really be. I appreciate it more as a celebration of embracing all the terrible flaws and aspects of being a woman in a misogynistic world, and an abstract being deciding that it's all worth it because of the joyful and meaningful experience of being a woman and not just an idea.

It's also funny that Ken as a character eclipses and overshadows a lot of the film, since the whole thing is about feminism and the name of the film IS Barbie. But much like feminist causes in the real world, the audience focuses more on the men involved lol. A lot of that comes down to Ryan Gosling's fantastic performance though. This man understood the assignment like no actor ever has before.

Also, the costuming and set design are god tier and exactly what we need to see more of in a media landscape dominated by shitty looking CGI from un-unionized and poorly treated sweatshop artists. If you like good looking movies, watch this movie.

Ken does take over the screen whenever he's there, but Margot Robbie shines in this thing. The comparison can't NOT be made between Barbie and The Truman Show (Gerwig iirc says it was one of her main inspirations and it shows), and her performance as Barbie discovers the world she's lived in and her existence itself is a flimsy ideal is so moving. Because like Truman, she chooses personhood and freedom over certainty and safety. She chooses to become a real woman not despite the many disadvantages and pain that comes with it, but BECAUSE of the experience. She learns that there is beauty in cellulite and stretch marks and wrinkles, there is beauty in aging, there's an entire world of experiences and emotions that as a doll she could never achieve and truly feel. And seeing someone CHOOSE humanity is such a wonderful thing.

The film also indulges in the kind of campy silly shit we expected, and I can see how some viewers view it as inconsistent and jarring when it's juxtaposed with moments like America's speech. But despite how half-stepped and steeped in a very specific advertiser friendly brand of Hollywood/corporate liberal feminism this film is, I appreciate Greta Gerwig even trying to do this in the first place. If even one woman or girl comes out of this being more critical of the world around them and the ways misogyny affects us, then I'm happy. If even one man or boy comes out of this being more critical of the world around them and the ways misogyny and patriarchy affects THEM and how they view and treat others, I'm happy. You are Ken-ough (sweater now available via Mattel for $86.99 while supplies last btw).

Oppenheimer is...what you'd expect of a Christopher Nolan biopic of Oppenheimer. It looked nice on 35mm film but it's also got the sound quality issue every fucking Nolan film has, where if you don't have the exact setup he wanted for the film then so many bits of dialogue will be drowned out by music or be otherwise unintelligible. The effects showing one woman with radiation burns were so laughably bad, it was like she let a bunch of Elmer's glue dry on her face and it looked so goofy that it ruined the weight of the scene.

For a film that really tries to show how paradoxical and complicated Oppenheimer was, it doesn't exactly sympathize with him to the extent I've seen people say it does. The film shows he's a dramatic, dismissive, egotistical asshole that refuses to explain his convictions and at times you (and other characters) wonder if he even has any. And his hypocrisy is constantly pointed out by many characters. The prosecutor in the security hearing asks how and why he suddenly decided to have moral qualms about nuclear bombs when he was eager on the Manhattan Project and outright helped decide which city to drop the first bomb on. Strauss's belief that Oppenheimer wants to be a martyr seems true, whether it's (as Strauss believes) out of pure ego or (as his wife says) that he honestly believes that receiving every punishment possible will somehow lead to him atoning and being forgived.

Also if you're watching a Nolan film you're already coming in with low expectations for women characters and this is no exception. Florence Pugh's character exists to show tits, talk briefly about communist ideals only to be talked down to by the more well-read Oppenheimer, fulfill a "methinks she doth protest too much" shtick with her always tossing his flowers, show tits again, break down when he says he can't see her anymore, and then kill herself to add to his sorrow. I do like that his wife immediately looks at him and says that he can't do things like have an affair out of selfishness, disregard other peoples' feelings, and then be surprised when his behavior ruins peoples' lives and fucks him over. His wife is incredibly based and Nolan does a good job portraying how miserable she was as Oppenheimer's wife.

The film showcases his lack of empathy or regard for others until it comes back to fuck him over outside of the affair. He builds Los Alamos knowing that local indigenous tribes come up there for burial rites because they're less important to him than The Big Picture and building the bomb. The civilian lives in Hiroshima and Nagasaki are something he's prepared to destroy for the sake of this experiment and usher in a new era of scientific discovery (again, nothing is more important than that Big Picture). The lack of regard for the Japanese people, the indigenous tribes of New Mexico and the other civilians in the area is (imo) intentional because the film is about Oppenheimer. It's about how he put them, his family, and everyone around him aside to follow what he's worked in his entire life: theory. Real tangible lives were something he did weigh, and ultimately decided were worth the cost if it meant a) proving this theory b) furthering scientific knowledge and c) ushering humanity into a new era of understanding. And as disgusting as it is, it's interesting to see a film trying to dissect why and how one human being made that decision and seemingly came to regret it.

Anyway while both films are completely different animals in different universes, I think I prefer Barbie because when I cringed, it was during parts I was meant to cringe. And Oppenheimer has the scene where Floremce Pugh (naked obviously) asks him to read the Bhagavad Gita and they start fucking as he says the "I am become death, the destroyer of worlds" line and thus robs it of its actual historical context AND cheapens not just Oppenheimer as he originally quoted it...as well as cheapened the Bhagavad Gita as a whole bc. Dude. Now I want a Bollywood movie where a character reads the Bible while a woman rides him and shows tiddy for superfluous bullshit reasons.

[stoookes]

Okay but that Starc Pollard fight video is so unhinged lmao 🤣

1) first of all, the fact that Starc was at RCB when this happened hahahaha I don't ever remember him doing anything of the sort while playing for Australia or any other IPL team, these are very clearly the effects of VK's company 🤣

2) Pollard almost throwing the bat at Starcy 😆😆😆😆that was so dramatic and unnecessary. And then obviously following it up with shit talk, because it's not like either of them are adults 🙄

3) The between overs drama!!! The way VK immediately rushed to Starcy's defence and confronted Pollard! Feisty little kitten, it's so in-character of him to square up with an alpha twice his size 😜

4) Pollard's hand curling around VK's neck like that unf 🥵🥵🥵 and VK throwing it off. Feisty omega ftw!!! Also, Yuvraj glaring at Pollard when he touches VK... looks like someone is possessive 😏

5) It's eternally funny to me that Rohit was the non-striker for this whole episode 😆😆

6) This was 2014... which means Yuvraj Singh, Chris Gayle, and AB de Villiers were all at RCB too. Add those three to Rohit, and that means that's four boyfriends of VK on the same pitch!

7) VK beefing with the umpires as usual 😂

8) The on-field DJ playing Deva Shree Ganesha, which is a devotional song, throughout the fight ahahahahah🤣🤣🤣🤣

It’s a bloody whirlwind! 😂

Also, you think Yuvraj is mad about that grab you wait until Patty sees another alpha trying to manhandle his omega 😡

Love Rohit just staying WAAAAY out of it 😂

But it’s definetly the match that bonds Starcy and VK 🥰🫶 We Stan omegas defending omegas

[missroserose]

no one calls you honey when you’re sittin’ on a throne 👑

So, yeah, those big dramatic swooping movements you use to generate momentum on static pole? Have a…predictable effect, on spin.

Guess who was so happy to nail her initial combo that she forgot about that. 😜

[iridescent1206]

Entry #1: In a Glimpse

Good evening everyone! Today starts the first entry of the 1206 literature collection blog ~

The one we will feature is a flash fiction about rain (not mainly rain, but it does play heavily on the story's dramatic effect) titled "In A Glimpse" which I wrote as an entry for our literary folio last January this year.

Why is the theme of the flash fiction "rain"?

In my childhood, I was always fascinated with the rain. Everytime I look at it, there is this unexplainable loneliness, happiness and nostalgia that flows in me whenever I see rain, that is why I love the rain.

It is beautiful and lonely.

But to be frank, the main reason why it came to me to write this flash fiction is because on 01-10-2023, it was raining hard that day and I could only stare at it while waiting for it to slown down. My mind wandered again and so that's how "In a Glimpse" was born!

Although, I wish we were given more freedom to write these flash fiction stories a bit longer since it felt constricted... but also, it was challenging, so it was a good experience to test us students.

And yes, sad, tragic stories are my forte 😜

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

In A Glimpse

A young Cuyunon girl from Palawan National School clad in her white school uniform grips her royal violet umbrella tightly under the rain. It almost seem like as if she was a robot, no emotions present on her face, silently staring at the downpour on the road and walking through Rizal Avenue. The traffic light from green turns red by the second and the passerbys kept flooding the pavements and streets, which made unbearable and incessant noise for her.

Suddenly, a kid from the pavement opposite to hers flees from his mother's arms and rushes toward the ball that bounced all the way to the middle of the road. Without warning, a vermillion car that appears out-of-nowhere speeds through the street, the driver appearing to be out-of-control and its wheels screeching making all everyone shut their ears. It heads where the small child is, and the latter only keeps his focus on the red ball. In a panic, the young school girl drops her umbrella and sprints through the heavy rain, reaching her hands out to the child, pushing him so that he won't meet his untimely death. In a second, life flashed before her eyes and all went black.

The last thing she could remember is that her body was hit hard by an object that it felt like she was thrown away and rolled on the ground before lying like a lifeless body, blood gushing out of her skin and bones. A tear drop falls from her eye and murmurs her last breath under the cold, heavy rain, "Is this... how I will end? If so, I'm glad".

==END==

[melodygatesauthor]

for the fruit emoji asks (hope it's cool to do send more than one at a time 😜):

🍓🍊🍏

thank youuuuuuuu ❤️

Yay! Alright here we go:

🍓 What’s a fic you’ve written you feel is underrated?

That's a good question and I'm not really sure. My favorites that I've written are Just You (Kylo Ren X Reader)(non-con story read at own risk), and The Recruit and the Hunter (Kapkan X Reader). I love them both for very different reasons, and they seem to be doing well enough in their respective fandoms so I don't know that they're underrated, but they hold a special place in my heart and I love to see them thrive.

🍊 Who’s a character you don’t write for that often, but keep meaning to write for more? (They’re so interesting! But maybe you have trouble pinning them down, or keep getting distracted by another blorbo…)

Jake Lockley is a big one. When I made my February Fluff and Fuck challenge I didn't add him in there because I didn't know anything about him, now I wished I had added him. Thatcher from Rainbow Six Siege is another one I'll be writing about before long, and our baby Benny Miller I hope to give some attention to in the near future.

🍏 Is there something you overuse, whether it’s a certain phrase, trope, or piece of punctuation?

All the FUCKING TIME.

I use ... sometimes too much for dramatic effect.

"Cunt clamping down in waves" when describing an orgasm. Best way for me to describe it but I use it a lot.

Those brows be furrowed constantly, you know what I mean?

That man...yeah that one right there...he's shooting hot white ropes when he comes.

My bigger blorbos are BIG and I mention it frequently...broad shouldered, tall, looming, big hands, strong arms e.t.c.

Oh, and I almost ALWAYS have something happening while people are talking. Like it can't just be:

"Hello." He said.

"Hi." She said.

It has to be:

"Hello." He said, walking over toward her.

"Hi." She said back, clasping her hands together nervously.

[gargalesisandchins]

actually 😏 you’re walking away for dramatic effect 😜

[zepskies]

Oh yes, this one's a rollercoaster for sure lol.

Starting at the beginning, Emily teasing his was cute. And Carla has no right to be upset. She left him at hos lowest, married a bastard and now she has no ground to feel bad thay Beau is trying to move forward.

Honestly yeah, that's how I basically felt. We don't get too many of the details from the show, but she likely gave up on him. I didn't like how they implied that she was right to leave him. But it was important for both Beau and Carla to make peace with both of their choices. (And Beau does deserve someone who will be more patient and understanding with him.)

Is Emily trying to be a matchmaker to her between them? That means she approves!! This is great!! I really liked how to played out the kidnapping and her getting kidnapped with Emily instead of Denise. I was hoping you'll do this and when I read it, I loved it (I love angst and drama).

Hahaa yeah she basically is -- both teasing him and trying to get him to make a move. 💕 And thank you! I thought it was more effective to push the characters to where I wanted them to go (and it's more dramatic 😜).

I remember Beau's red tear strained eyes and it breaks my heart every single time. She is taking care of Emily even though they are literally bound and gagged. She truly cares for Emily and I'm really loving how their relationship is evolving. They already had an incident to share, but now their bond will get stronger (hopefully) with this whole scarringly traumatic event. But they have each other to lean on to, which is very important.

Ugh God, this episode always makes me cry for that reason. 😭

The reader's doing her best to protect her like she would her own kid. She already has a special place in her heart for Emily for sure. And they will come out of this stronger. 💕

This hug is special for me. It is so sweet, it's kind of like a small representation of how Beau is, he won't leave his daughter, he'll always love Emily, but now, he's also making room for someone new in his life as well. He's moving on while holding the best thing from his past with him. And Emily making room speaks volumes.

I love everything you said here!! This is exactly what I was going for. Thank you for picking up everything I was laying down. 😘

This kinda feels like he said everything he wanted to, without saying a lot. But why won't they kiss!!! You really love to tease, don't you?!! I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE NEXT PARTS!!!!!

Yep, pretty much!!

Ahaha sorrryyy. You'll see in Part 8! (Just released yesterday.~)

Take Me Home - Part 7

Pairing: Beau Arlen x F. Reader 

Summary: You are another lost soul at Sunny Day Excursions. You’re aiming to settle in Helena, Montana, where Beau Arlen is the new sheriff in town. But you’ve both got a past you’re running from. 

AN: For everyone who has Easter plans tomorrow (Happy Easter!), I decided to release this part a bit early. And yes, we’re at that part of the season 3 plotline…

Word Count: 6.6K

Tags/Warnings: Major angst, survival situations, violence, hurt/comfort.

❤️ Series Masterlist

Part 7: On the Edge of a Knife

Beau returned home that night with a large pizza for Carla and Emily. He’d already eaten with you an hour ago, but true to his legendary appetite, he still found room for a slice of pepperoni. They got comfortable around the fire out in front of his trailer.

“What held you up?” Carla asked.

Beau sighed and first wiped a bit of sauce from his face with a napkin. He admitted there was an altercation between you and your ex-boyfriend, Michael Hadley. Beau happened to be there in time to settle things down and help patch you up after you fell through a glass coffee table.

“Oh my God. Is she okay?” Emily asked. Beau noted her concern with a smile.

“She’s fine. Some minor cuts and bruises,” he said. “But I had to encourage the guy to leave town. If he’s got any sense, he’ll get gone.”

Emily looked relieved at that. Then she eyed him with a suspicious smile.

“And you just happened to be in the neighborhood?” she asked slyly, voicing the thought that Carla hadn’t wanted to.

Both women watched him closely, but Carla knew the tell-tale signs of Beau covering his embarrassment, giving his daughter a wry look.

“All right, smart Alec. Why don’t you break out the extra sheets I got in the trailer? We’ll set up the bed and the couch.”

“If you can call that glorified bench a couch,” Emily muttered with a grin. 

“Ey!” Beau called after her, though he watched her go in amusement.

After a couple more hours of chatting and catching up, showers taken and plates washed, Emily headed for bed. The adults stayed up for a while, bundled in warm coats as they sat together by the fire.

Beau remembered what Emily told him days ago; that he hadn’t needed to be a perfect man for his wife and daughter. They’d just needed him to be a bit more honest about what he was going through, to let them in. After what happened today with you, your patience and understanding with him…he was beginning to get what she meant.

“I’m really thankful for you helping us,” Carla said. It unearthed him out of his own head.

“Yeah,” he replied with a nod.

Admittedly, he was still a bit distracted. Besides how he left things with you (which still made heat crawl up the back of his neck), he still had Avery and that stolen money to worry about. Otherwise known as the reason Carla and Emily would have to cram themselves in his little trailer.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Carla prodded, laying a gentle hand on his arm.

“I just got a bad feeling about all this,” he confessed. “It’s like in Houston with Randy.”

“No,” she shook her head. “You can’t go there.”

“It’s too late,” he replied. “‘Cause it feels the same. Like something’s…something is comin’, and I’m powerless to stop it.”

“Randy’s death was not your fault,” she reminded him. Just like you had.

Beau looked over at her with a humorless quirk of his lips.

“We both know that’s not true. He was my partner and I let him down. And then…then I wasn’t there for you, or Emily. I don’t blame you for leaving me.”

Carla couldn’t help it, but a part deep inside her had been regretting that choice. Her eyes burned with unshed tears. She managed to blink and keep them at bay, though she let out a shaky breath.

“Well, you’re here for us now,” she said. And yet, she could’ve predicted his next words like clockwork.

“It don’t make up for the way I checked out,” he said.

Carla licked her dry lips and swallowed down the emotion clogging her throat. She didn’t cry often. She could have an ironclad grip on her emotions when she needed to.

It was part of what made her a good lawyer. She knew Beau had sometimes gotten frustrated with that aspect of her personality in the past, because he was the opposite.

The man kept a good lid on things for his job, but at heart, he was driven by his passion, his anger, his love, and right now, his bone-deep guilt and shame.

She knew he’d been drowning in it for a year and hadn’t known how to pull him out. Every time he pushed her away, it had hurt her, hardened her, making her will to try again less and less. So she left him. 

It was the choice she made, and she knew she had to live with it. Just like marrying Avery.

Carla laid a hand on Beau’s over his knee. She made sure he looked her in the eyes when she said this.

“I forgive you. For all of that, okay?” she said. After a moment, he nodded. This time, she felt like he actually heard her.

“But I’m telling you, this thing with Avery…this isn’t over by a long shot,” he told her. “I’m not saying that to scare you. You understand that?”

“Yeah,” she nodded, even though those tears from earlier were working their way down her face. She wiped them away hastily.

“I’m not gonna let anything happen to you two,” Beau said, in a firm, reassuring tone.

It worked, and it didn’t. Carla nodded again. “I know.”

He sighed through his nose and squeezed her hand. His gaze shifted away, back to the bonfire dancing in front of them. His eyes stung at both the smoke, and the emotion rising in his chest. He steeled himself.

“Carla, I’ll always love you…”

She smiled slightly, brushing the remaining tears from her cheek.

“Though I sense a but coming,” she said.

When she said your name in question, Beau glanced back over at her and nodded. Carla had been his first real love, besides Daisy Harlow in the eleventh grade.

But you were unexpected. How quickly, how deeply you’d gotten under his skin was too hard to ignore. And at this point, he didn’t want to.

Meanwhile, Carla stared at her ex-husband in bemusement. She slipped her hand from his and folded hers back in her lap.

“What’s she like?” she asked. Half of her was genuinely curious. The other half would rather not hear his answer, but she supposed it was only fair. She was the one who moved on first.

Still, the flicker of Beau’s soft smile stung, just a little.

“She’s special,” he said. “Resilient, like you. And smart to boot. You know she’s a college professor?”

“Yeah, Emily told me,” Carla said. 

Beau’s smile dimmed when he noted the resignation in her voice. She gave him a knowing look. 

“I have no right to complain,” she said. “And you deserve to be happy too, Beau.”    

He considered that with a nod. He wasn’t sure if he believed her, but for your sake…he would try.

“Can you promise me something?” Carla asked. 

“Name it,” he said.

“I know Avery is in this thing deep. He lied to me and he created this mess. Even when this is over, I don’t know what’s going to happen between us. I know I’m asking a lot of you, but please, look out for him,” she implored. Beau uttered a wry chuckle and rubbed at his chin.

“He is in this deep. And he’s being stubborn about it,” he said. “I might not be able to help him walk it back, but I will try.”  

Carla released another sigh and nodded in response. She supposed that was the best she could hope for. 

A few days later, you walked up and down the grocery store aisles with a basket in one hand and your phone against your ear with the other.

“Okay, I’ve got all manners of junk food and chick-flick movie watching snacks, including Reese’s cups, ice cream, frozen pizzas, and no less than three bottles of wine,” you said. “Am I missing anything?”

“I don’t think so, hun. That sounds very comprehensive,” Denise replied.

She was at work, and you were still getting ready for the fall semester. It was only a little over a month away, which meant you were excited, and also nervous.

You had five classes on your roster. You’d also visited Carroll College yesterday to set up your office with all your books, both textbooks and your favorites in fiction and non-fiction (but mostly fiction). Much Ado About Nothing was front and center in the Shakespeare section of your shelf.

You also wanted to at least try and relax for the rest of your summer. Denise was all too willing to help. You’d always had a good relationship with your aunt, albeit distant, since you’d lived in different states.

Living so close now just made you realize how much you two had in common. It was nice to find a friend in her, not just someone who would try to mother you in your own mother’s absence. 

“Yes! Good. Then get ready to brainstorm what movies we’re gonna watch tonight, and in what order,” you said.

“Oh, don’t pretend like you don’t already have a color-coded checklist,” Denise quipped.

You laughed. Yes, she knew you too well. “Okay, maybe I do, but you still get a vote.”

You turned a corner in the aisles and nearly ran right into Carla, who was pushing a cart. You both jolted in surprise and recognition.

“Oh, hi! I’m sorry,” you said, at the same time she said, “Sorry, I…”

You two did the polite, nervous laughter people did when put in awkward situations. You noticed all the food she had in her cart—enough to feed a family of three for the week.

“Yeah, finally getting around to doing a grocery run,” she said. “Beau’s trailer leaves much to be desired in the form of amenities, so…”

You adopted a more amused smile. “Yeah, he’s not much of a cook, is he?”

“Do frozen fish sticks count?” Carla remarked.

“Only if there’s expired tartar sauce, according to Emily,” you joked. The two of you shared a laugh that was a little more genuine. You chatted for a couple minutes more before you parted with amiable handwaving. Then you realized that your aunt was still hanging on the line.

You sighed and put your phone back up to your ear. “Hey, sorry.”

“Was that who I think it was?” Denise asked. She was probably trying to be cryptic, if Emily was in the room with her.

“Indeed, it was. Doing a nice family-sized grocery run,” you whispered back, to make sure you weren’t overheard. You brought your basket of junk to one of the checkout lines.

“When was the last time you heard from him?” Denise asked. She must’ve heard the heaviness in your voice. You both knew exactly who “him” was code for. Beau friggin’ Arlen.

“Not since we said goodbye last week,” you replied. And the memory of that kiss had been torturing you for days. It had also been the fuel of many…late nights with yourself.

Speaking of which, need some more AA batteries, you thought with a warm blush.

“Okay, forget candy. We should get cheesecake,” Denise proposed.

You smiled. “You know what, that’s a damn good idea. Definitely cheesecake.”

You hopped out of line to do just that. You knew it probably wouldn’t be as good as Chicago made, but you went over to the bakery side of the store and hunted for the most good-looking cheesecake you could find.

“Hey, if you want, stop by here later,” your aunt said. “Em is here. We’ll grab lunch, make it a real girls’ day.”

“Sure,” you agreed. You hadn’t seen Emily in a week or so either. “Where are you thinking? I’ve been wanting to try that Indian place down the street from your office.”

“Sounds good to me. Come over after you drop those groceries off at home.”

“Okay, will do. I’ll see you guys soon!” you said. 

Beau knew that he was going to be working straight through lunch. What he, Jenny, and Cassie had discovered in the past 24 hours was deeply unsettling. 

Not only was Walter Sunny Barnes’s son, but Paige was alive. She’d been found in the foyer of Sunny’s home, brandishing a knife, convinced the married couple were in it together on her kidnapping. Sunny claimed she’d had no idea her husband had taken the poor girl and kept her in a shack for days.

According to Paige’s testimony, Buck Barnes had tried to kill her. And since she was alive, it meant Walter had lied in confessing to her murder. It was also likely that he hadn’t killed Mary or Luke either.

That wasn’t even the worst of Beau’s headache.

He rubbed his face in frustration after getting off the phone with Carla. Thanks to this whole business of Avery’s stolen cryptocurrency, she was being followed. 

Fuckin’ hell, Beau thought. The next time he saw Avery, it had better be with handcuffs, or he was going to start working on his punch list for real. Instead, Beau grabbed his cell and called his daughter.

“Hey, Dad,” she answered on the third ring.

“Hey, honey. You doin’ all right? You good?” he asked. Maybe he was coming on a little strong, but worry was a living thing inside his gut.

“Yeah, totally. Just doing some research…but guess who’s coming to have lunch with us later?” she asked.

Her tone was leading him somewhere, and Beau thought he knew the destination. His lips curved with a half-smile. When he guessed your name, Emily confirmed.

“You’re welcome to join us. If, you know, you wanted to,” she teased.

Beau’s smile twisted with disbelief. Was his daughter trying to set him up? And better yet, it seemed like she liked you well enough to do it. While the thought warmed him, his smile dimmed.

“Wish I could, but uh, I got a lot of work here to do. I’m just…checking up on ya, like dads do,” he said.

As much as he wanted to see you (and he really, really did), he wasn’t lying. He needed to follow up on the man who’d trailed Carla to the drycleaners this morning. And he already had Jenny and Poppernak looking into finding Buck Barnes. He’d fled the scene after Paige and Sunny were picked up at the Barnes residence.

“Well, okay, consider me checked. We can talk later if you want,” Emily said. She sounded a bit disappointed. Beau felt guilty for that, but he’d make it up to her tonight. Maybe he’d bring home some takeout so Carla didn’t have to cook again in his tiny kitchenette.

“All right, honey. If not, I’ll see you tonight,” he said. “Just…don’t go anywhere by yourself, okay? Make sure Denise or Cassie’s with you. Matter of fact, I’ll pick you up from there today.”

“Yeah sure,” she said. Though he didn’t think she really heard the warning in his voice.

“‘Kay. Bye, Dad.”

She hung up, leaving Beau still feeling off-balanced. Until news came in from a fellow officer: while Paige had been brought to the hospital, Sunny Barnes had been brought into the station for questioning about her husband.

“Sorry I’m so late. I started cleaning my apartment and lost track of time,” you said, walking into the office of Dewell & Hoyt. Denise and Emily waved at you from their respective desks.

“That’s okay. We’ve been busy here,” Denise said. You looked at the large pinboard on the wall filled with news clippings and pieces of evidence. Bleeding Heart Killer, read many of the subject lines.

“Ech. Still working on this?” you asked.

“Unfortunately,” said Denise. She grabbed up her purse and went over to kiss your cheek in greeting. “But we might’ve gotten a huge break on it. I’ll tell you all about it when I get back.”

“Get back? Where’re you going?” you asked.

“To get the food! I already placed the orders,” she said, patting your arm. “I’ll be right back.”

You gave her a narrowed look. “I was going to pay for it—”

“No need!” Denise sing-songed on her way out of the office. It had you smiling, shaking your head. You looked over at Emily and tossed a thumb over your shoulder.

“Careful with her. She can be devious,” you said.

Emily smiled and stood up from her desk. She went over to sit with you on the small couch near the center of the room.

“I’m actually glad you’re here,” she said. “I’ve kinda got a question for you.”

“Kinda?” you echoed with a smile, but you pat her on the knee. “What’s on your mind, honey?”

Emily looked a little unsure. It had you giving her your undivided attention.

“It’s about my dad,” she began. Your smile slowly fell, but now you were really listening.

“Okay,” you nodded.

Emily opened her mouth to reply, but before she could, the lights in the entire office went out.

Natural light still came in from the large windows at the front. It was odd though. The weather outside, while chilly, wasn’t cold enough to create an outage. You hadn’t heard anything fizzle when the lights went out either.

“That’s weird—” Emily said.

The back door burst open with the sound of hinges breaking. Both of you gasped and stood from the couch. You slipped a hand into your purse to find your phone, and then the first contact you could think of.

You were about to press the call button when a tall man with broad shoulders stepped through. He was older, balding, and his clothes and neck were stained with blood.

Buck Barnes.

“Buck?” you gasped. “What…what’re you doing here?”

He didn’t look like the easy going, kind-hearted man you knew at the camp. Now, he looked haggard, injured, and dangerous, like a wild animal.

“Hush up,” Buck held up a silver pistol in his right hand. “And drop that phone, nice and slow.”

Your heart was in your throat, but you couldn’t just think of yourself. You subtly tried to pull Emily behind you as you set your phone down on the ground.

“You tried to kill Paige,” Emily accused of the man. It had you turning to her, your eyes going wide. When you looked over at Buck to gauge his reaction, you saw how his lips pursed.

“Sit down and shut up,” Buck ordered, gesturing with his gun at both of you. He drew closer and forced you and Emily to sit beside each other on the couch. There he grabbed a roll of duct tape from his pocket and began taping your shaking hands together.

“Why’re you doing this?” you asked Buck.

“I need some collateral if I’m gonna get the hell outta dodge,” he replied.

“Fine, but let Emily go. She’s just a kid,” you begged, as tears stung at your eyes.

Buck just continued taping you up. Thankfully not your feet, just your wrists. He moved to Emily next. 

“You don’t need her,” you tried again. “Come on, Buck. You really think Beau Arlen’s going to want to work something out with you if you take his daughter?”

“Oh, I’m bettin’ he’ll be more than willing.” Buck grabbed you and placed a strip of tape across your mouth, then on Emily’s. He hooked a large, calloused hand around your arm.

“Now get up.”

“What?!” Beau asked. His eyes widened in alarm. “Slow down, Denise. What’s going on?”

The more he listened, the more his heart plummeted into his stomach. He had to grip his work desk for balance.

It took him and Jenny under half an hour to meet up with Cassie and Denise back at Dewell & Hoyt, along with a forensics unit of officers. There was evidence of struggle in a turned over table and a broken back door lock.

Denise explained that she left you and Emily for just a few minutes while she went to grab a late lunch order. By the time she returned, the power was out, set off by the breakers, and you and Emily were missing.

Jenny found your purse on the couch, while Beau found your cell phone on the ground. He picked it up with a gloved hand. He’d seen you unlock your phone enough times to remember your passcode.

When he inputted those six numbers and unlocked the screen, he found his own name and phone number highlighted there. You’d been about to call him.

He squeezed your phone tight in his hand. He looked up and saw another officer pick up Emily’s backpack.

“No power means no surveillance footage,” Jenny said. “Okay, let’s think. Why take her and Emily?”

“It’s gotta do with Avery and the money he stole,” Beau said, grinding his teeth. “I needa find him.”

“Any idea where he might be held up?” Jenny asked.

“Carla will know,” he replied.

“Do you want me to go with you?” Jenny was quick to offer. She could see his rage bubbling.

“No,” he said, cutting her off with a swift hand. “Get a response team ready, but I don’t want anybody doing anything without checking with me!”

He was out the door before any of the women could stop him. Denise was in tears, both for you and for Emily. Cassie wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

“We’re gonna find them,” she promised.

You and Emily were in the backseat of an SUV. Buck was singing along to some country song, driving them down a highway to hell knows where. 

The tears had begun to dry on your cheeks. It didn’t mean you were no longer petrified, but for Emily, to give her support, you’d been able to keep breathing through it. She was still in panic mode, hyperventilating as tears streamed down her face.

“Y’all better quiet down back there,” Buck warned.

You grabbed Emily’s hands and met her frantic eyes with your calmer ones. You were hoping to reassure her, let her know that while you were scared too, you were with her. She wasn’t alone.

She squeezed your hands back, even though it made you wince. Your right hand was still injured. Again, you breathed through it so you could hold her back. You rested the side of your head against hers to try and help steady her further. If you could, you would’ve held her like a mother bear.

Emily leaned against your side and began to calm down, bit by bit. Meanwhile, Buck continued to talk your ears off—about country music, and how this particular song was the one he and Sunny danced to at their wedding. Though frankly, you couldn’t give a shit about anything that was coming out of his mouth.

All you knew was that it was nighttime, pitch black darkness by the time he pulled into a plaza. It looked like a gas station next to a bar.

Only in Montana, you mused. Though you perked up at attention when Buck parked and actually left the car.

Of course, he took the keys with him and put the child locks on the doors, but you tugged at the duct tape Buck put around your ankles when he’d forced you and Emily into this car. If you could get free, then you could shove your way into the front seat and unlock the doors.

Emily tried to help you. You winced as the tape tugged at your skin. At least I shaved yesterday.

She gasped around her gag when she saw a young man coming their way in the parking lot. You joined her in banging on the window, trying to get his attention.

“Oh my God,” you heard him say, muffled as it was through the window. You pointed at the front of the car, trying to communicate to him to break the window open there.

“Hold on, I’ll get you guys out of there,” he said. He went to the front of the car and tried at the door handles, but before he could get very far in his attempt to free you, Buck came up behind the younger man and grabbed him in a chokehold.

You and Emily screamed at him, but it was no use. You did your best to shield Emily’s eyes when Buck snapped the man’s neck.

Bad call, bad leadership, bad police work.

Beau felt the weight of his shame like never before—all while he held Carla and rocked her in his arms. She’d just arrived at the police station, after getting the news that her husband had been killed.

When he learned that Emily was taken, Avery tried to help Beau and the police confront the men he’d stolen the $15 million from, but Avery had gone rogue by bringing a gun into the equation.

Beau had just one chance to pull Avery out and send in his unit of officers on standby. Jenny had asked him what he wanted to do, hoping he would make the right choice.

Beau had been selfish. He wanted to see if the men would give up the location on where they were holding you and Emily, so he kept Avery in play. He’d thought the man would be fine with Tonya and Donno backing him up in the room.

After all was said and done, however, Avery lay dead in a pool of his own blood with a bullet in his chest. The criminals also hadn’t taken you or Emily.

By process of elimination, Beau now knew it was Buck. The man had already killed a hiker on his way out of the woods, where he’d been holding Paige.

Now it was a whole new manhunt.

“Beau,” Jenny said. “We have something on Buck.”

It prompted him to drag himself out of the dark spiral of his thoughts. He let Carla go, but kept a supportive hand on her back. She was still distraught, and understandably so—not just for her husband, but for her missing daughter.

Jenny gave Carla a sympathetic look. She beckoned him over though.

“Come see this,” she said.

Beau comforted Carla one moment more, rubbing her back, but she encouraged him to go with Jenny. She led him into another room where Cassie was waiting for them, and Jenny’s laptop was connected to a smart TV.

On the screen was new surveillance footage of a parking lot, outside a bar a few hours out of town. There was a green pickup truck parked next to a black SUV. Beau couldn’t see you or Emily, but he watched Buck drag the dead body of a man behind the truck.

“Buck was casing the lot for a car to steal,” Jenny said. “We’re guessing this unlucky guy found them.”

“It means they’re still alive,” Cassie pointed out. Jenny drew attention to the keys, or whatever it was that Buck dropped and picked up off the floor. It was hard to make out from the footage.

Cassie agreed to ask Cormack Barnes if he knew what the keys were for, considering he already had the keys to the pickup trick in his hand when he picked up the fallen set. Beau knew it was time to question Sunny Barnes again.

He headed down the hall to do just that, with Jenny on his heels. Soon though, he found himself slowing down in the hall, like his feet were made of rubber. That, and his heart was fracturing. Jenny slowed down with him, giving him a questioning look.

“It’s just…it’s the one thing we’re supposed to do. Protect our kids,” he said. “The one thing.”

“Hey,” she said. Her blue eyes were understanding. “You couldn’t have done anything differently.”

And yet again, they both knew that was a lie. Beau held a curled fist against his lips for a moment, as he tried to swallow down the lump of emotion in his throat.

“She’s gotta be so scared, Jenny,” he said. His eyes stung, but he tried to blink the unshed tears from his eyes. It wasn’t working.

“Both of them,” he said. “They’ve gotta be terrified. And every minute we waste chasing our tails just gives that twisted son a bitch a chance to do something to them—”

Jenny grabbed his arm to steady him. “I still think he’s keeping them alive for leverage.”

“Well, I hope you’re right, because there’s nothing stopping him from making an example from one of them,” he said.

But the moment it escaped his lips, he wished he hadn’t uttered the thought out loud. It was too much.

He felt like a failure of a father. That was already destroying him from the inside out. And though he’d vowed to himself otherwise, you got dragged into this too.

You’d already been through the wringer enough. Beau hadn’t even checked in on you in damn near a week since he left your apartment the last time.

Now, you’d been taken by the very same man who murdered your friend Mary. Beau hadn’t had the chance to tell you…

He hadn’t been able to tell you a lot of things.

And maybe, he’d never get the chance.

The pickup truck Buck stole had a small trailer attached, convenient for stuffing you and Emily in, along with the corpse he’d made of the truck’s owner.

On the long and bumpy ride down the road, you’d been able to search the dead man’s jeans and found a small pocketknife. You pressed a small button to click the blade open. You showed it to Emily, and then tried to cut her bonds.

You only got halfway through when the truck and trailer stopped. Moments later, you smelled gas. Buck was probably stopping for a refill on the pickup truck. You closed the knife and hid it in your hands. That instinct turned out to be a good one, because Buck slid the trailer door open.

You and Emily winced as the bright morning sun hit your bleary eyes. Not only had you not slept all night, but you’d gotten used to the perpetual darkness of the trailer.

“You girls behaving yourselves back here?” Buck asked.

You and Emily stayed quiet, but fearful. He stepped into the trailer to lower your taped gag, and then the girl’s. He uncapped a water bottle to give her some. It was a strangely humane thing to do, you thought.

But then you realized that he just didn’t want you two to pass out of dehydration. He was trying to keep you alive long enough to use you as bargaining chips.

“My dad’s going to find you,” Emily said, staring up at your captor. Buck chuckled at her cheek.

“You want water or not?” he asked.

“And when he does, he’s gonna kill you,” she said. Buck rolled his eyes and gave her a few sips of water. He offered the bottle to you next.

Instead of drinking, you used his distraction and proximity to pop open the pocketknife and jab it at his face. He pulled back fast, but you managed to sink the three-inch little blade into his neck. Buck backhanded you so hard, it made the side of your face crack against the back of the trailer.

Emily screamed and tried to catch you when you accidentally fell on her shoulder. When you recovered after a bit, blinking the black splotches out of your vision, Buck punched at the spot right above your heads and made you both flinch. By then, he’d taken the little knife out of his neck, even though it made a new wound ooze blood down his shirt.

“Forgot to check his pockets,” he gritted out. His anger then bled away, into a dark chuckle. “Gettin’ a little rusty.”

He poured out the rest of the water over your boots, but he didn’t make any further threats. At least, not physically. He stepped away and began to exit the trailer.

“Next time it’ll be gasoline and a lighter,” he warned. “Now both of you, shut the fuck up.”

Then he closed the door, casting you and Emily into darkness once again.

“You okay?” Emily whispered. You could barely make out her face in the dim light, coming from the smallest crack in the trailer door. You rolled your head her way so you could give her a smile.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you replied. Truthfully, your head was ringing and aching at the same time. Buck had knocked you out for a few seconds there. Plus, you were exhausted, and hungry, and parched.

“At least the gags are off,” she said. You nodded, letting out a sigh. You welcomed her to rest on your shoulder and tucked her wrapped hands under yours.

“We’ve just gotta keep holding out,” you said. “I’m sure your dad is on the way.”

Emily nodded in agreement. She believed every word of what she’d told Buck. She just hoped it was sooner rather than later.

It was much, much later.

Still, you and Emily were no better off. Actually, you were pretty sure this was worse.

Buck had driven you deep into the woods, then forced you to walk what felt like another half-mile until you reached a dusty old shack. He’d unlocked it and forced you both inside, kneeling in the dirt and dead leaves. Along with the duct tape already around your wrists, he’d tied you both up with ropes around the metal hooks hanging from the short roof.

Even with the gags off, it was hard to breathe in the hot, stuffy woodshed. It felt similar to being buried in a box and left to rot.

You weren’t sure how many hours it had been, but the sun was slowly inching by. If you had to guess, it was around mid-afternoon. You were sweating down your neck and back, now uncomfortable while kneeling in the jeans you were wearing. And sometimes, your vision started to blur in and out.

By now you were beyond hunger. Dying of thirst? Quite possibly.

“How’re you doing?” you asked Emily. She nodded, but she didn’t have much energy to talk either.

So instead, you tried to twist your wrists out of the rope. Very quickly you gave yourself burns, however. Buck had tied your bonds so very tight, not to mention the duct tape underneath.

What a fucking asshole, you thought. He could’ve at least left a bottle of water. Or some protein bars.

“How are they supposed to find us out here?” Emily asked. Her voice was small and coarse with exhaustion. You nudged her knee in comfort.

“The police will get it out of Buck, I’m sure,” you said. “Even if Beau can’t, damn certain Jenny will.”

You gave her a smile. Emily tried to smile back, but she didn’t quite make it there.

“God, I’m so thirsty,” she coughed.

“I know, I’m sorry,” you nodded, letting out a shaky breath. “All we can do is keep trying to get loose.”

You both tried twisting out of the ropes for a while, but it was no use. You were just going to bruise or cut your wrists further through the tape.

You knew that you and Emily had been in the woods for hours at this point, somewhere in the middle of the mountains. You tried not think about how unlikely it would be that someone actually heard you, let alone found you.

You knew you were the adult in this situation. You had to keep it together for the girl beside you, but after a while, a feeling of desperation and despair rose up again in your chest, no matter how hard you fought it all.

Tears welled up in your eyes, though you tried to breathe through it. Emily nudged your arm this time, giving you a comforting look.

“It’s gonna be okay,” she whispered. “I know Dad’s coming for us.”

Your lip wobbled, but you nodded and sucked in a breath. If she could be strong, then you could too…

And that was when you started to hear voices. You knew they weren’t just in your head, because Emily perked up too. You both called out the best you could to whoever was out there.

You squinted watery eyes when the door to the shed finally slid open.

Beau tested the limitations of Jenny’s SUV on his way out from the woods, and then back into them. 

At the very least, Buck was dead. 

Sunny had shot him—before they had gotten a location on you and Emily. Beau had been about to have a serious breakdown before Cassie called him. 

“They found them,” he’d told Jenny, with red and shining eyes. 

In another five miles, they reached the old cabin. Cassie had said there was a woodshed attached on the south side. Beau tore out of the car and sprinted up a hill, through a patch of dense trees, until he found the cabin and the shed. 

Cassie and Cormack were talking to someone just out of Beau’s eyeline, but his gaze focused on his daughter. The moment Emily saw him, she brightened and ran to him. He met her in the middle, grabbing her tight and secure in his arms.

His tears burned in his eyes and fell as he held her, comforted her, rubbing her back. She held onto him just as tightly.

He struggled and failed to keep himself together. Relief wasn’t even the word for how he felt; it was beyond words.

And it was almost unreal to be able to hold his daughter and see that she didn’t look hurt, just shaken.

“I’ve gotcha, sweetheart,” he said. “God, I’ve got you.”

Letting out the deepest breath, Beau’s gaze ventured past his daughter and up ahead. There he found you, being supported by Cassie up the hill. Beau’s eyes widened.

You were rubbing your wrists. They looked raw. Your eyes were also red and watery when they met his. Your breath seemed to catch as well.

Your name fell from Beau’s lips, his voice breaking. Emily looked up at her dad and had to smile. She even made room for you when you came up on his other side. Beau still kept his daughter tucked against him, but he reached for you as well and brought you into his embrace.

He felt your body shaking with quiet, wracking sobs. His heart broke for it, but he soothed a hand over your knotted hair and down your back.

“Shh, it’s okay now,” he whispered in your ear. His voice was choked with emotion. “I’ve got you, darlin’."

Never gonna let you go again, he thought.

You nodded, sniffling, but you kept your face buried against his chest.

Eventually, you lifted your head to meet his kind, if tearful eyes. He was a mess, and so were you. He was right though; you knew that it was all right now, as long as he was here.

You looked over at Emily, who was still hanging onto her father. You touched her shoulder.

“You okay?” you asked through tears. She nodded back at you with a smile.

“Good,” Beau said. “Let’s get you two home.”

You realized then that you were clinging to him like…like he was yours. 

“Oh,” you uttered, releasing his shirt. “I‘m sorry.” 

Beau’s eyes widened at the way you pulled away from him, unconsciously lowering your gaze. He frowned, and he pressed a gentle hand to your cheek, so you’d look at him again. 

“Don’t you do that,” he said, his voice still a bit unsteady.

Almost every cell in his body said to pull you back in. To sink his fingers in your hair, and to kiss you.

But he noticed Jenny, Cassie, Cormack, and even his daughter watching with some kind of smile on their faces. You stared up at him, teary eyed and waiting.

Beau cleared his throat.

He hesitated a bit too long, warring with himself all the while. So he just stroked your cheek and guided you, along with his daughter to the car.

You and Emily were going home.

AN: 🫣 Lol please don't hate me for the little tease at the end there. But how did you like how all the action and drama of the kidnapping unfolded?

Don't think this is the finale though. We've still got some drama and fun things to come. (Also, I think it's funny how this next particular chapter is going to post on my birthday lol.)

Next Time:

“I’m the one who needs you to forgive me,” he said, gently squeezing your arm. “I promised myself I would keep you safe, that I wouldn’t drag you into this mess. And I couldn’t keep my end of the deal.”

“Stop that,” you said. You grabbed the front of his shirt. “How many times do I have to say it’s not your fault before you get it in your stubborn head?”

It came out a bit snappish, but the moment your eyes met his, you both seemed to realize where your passions had led you. Just inches away from one another.

“Maybe one more time,” Beau said, in a quieter, but no less heady voice. There was a hint of humor in his eyes. You couldn’t help but smile back.

You released his shirt and instead, took his face in your hands.

Ko-Fi Me ☕

Series Masterlist

Big Sky Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Series Tag List (Part 1):

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[supernaturalgirl20]

Love to Hate You

Part 7

Pairings: Max Phillips x f!reader

Warnings: Smut 18+, explicit, unprotected sex, oral (both receiving), angst, mentions of drinking blood, cursing, enemies to lovers.

Summary: You and Max have been working together for the last year and there is only one thing you have in common - you both hate each other! Now you are both in competition with each other for Ted’s job. Who will win? Who will lose? Will you both realise that’s there’s a fine line between love and hate?

A/N: ahhh ok so we are at the end of this series!!!! BUT it is not the end of these two 😜😈 (you will know what we mean once you’ve read it) Chloe and myself have had so much fun writing this and cannot wait to continue working together 🥰🥰

Part 6

Co written with @misspearly1

Comments and reblogs really appreciated 🥰

Exhaustion took its hold over your body as you pushed the button for the elevator; having spent the entire night working on your presentation - the one you had thought wasn’t needed anymore but Max made it very clear that the race for the company directors position was still on.

You’ll be damned if you’re going to let a vampire make a fool out of you. Making you fall in love was a step too far on his behalf and you're beyond the realms of being pissed off about it. Max had tried to call you last night along with a slew of messages but you’d ignored him, and planned to ignore him when you stepped out of this elevator. If he wanted to play dirty then fuck it, so were you. Although it hurts, it really does, you’re going to march out there with your held head high and nail this presentation, claim your prize and kick Max fucking Phillips to the curb.

***

The doors open with a ding and you emerge from the elevator to be met with a gossiping crowd lingering outside the main conference room, each of them making a fuss over something. What the hell is going on now? You wonder while walking towards Elaine, who looked surprised to see you. “What’s happening? Someone getting fired?” You ask, to which her eyes practically bulge out of her head in reply. “You don’t know?”

“Know what?” Confused, you shook your head with absolutely no idea on what she was referring to. Were you supposed to know about something? Instead of shedding any light to what on earth was going on, Elaine places her hand on your back and begins to push you forward through the crowd, prompting you to demand answers. “Elaine, what are you doing? What’s going on?”

“Just trust me ok, you need to see this.” You finally make your way to the front of the small crowd and shock causes a gasp to escape past your lips. Turning to Elaine you can feel your throat go dry, “What’s-”

“Max is having his presentation.” She cuts you off, wearing a proud grin. “He came in real early looking for you. I told him you weren’t here yet and, well, he looked worried. What’s going on with you two?”

“Nothing.” you say a little too quickly, prompting Elaine to raise her eyebrows in question. “Sure don’t look like nothing.” She narrowed her eyes, before explaining what was going on - finally. “Anyway, he pulled everyone into the room and started his big speech about the job position- you know what, just listen to him yourself, that would be so much easier.”

You turn away from Elaine and locate Max again, hands waving around in the air dramatically in typical Max style, before flicking your eyes over to Ted who’s sitting up poker straight in his chair looking rather aghast, confusion once again furrows your brows. The skin on your neck tingles and you can feel Max’s gaze on you and sure enough when you look towards him once more, his brown eyes are staring straight at you with a smile on his lips. Why the fuck are you smiling right now! Do you think this is funny Max?

“So as I was saying.” He begins. Now that you’re actually here to listen to what he says, Max turns his attention back to the panel briefly before maintaining your eye contact with his next words. “I’m handing in my resignation effective immediately.” What?...He’s resigning? “I’m gonna level with you all, this isn’t how this was supposed to go. I had planned to sweet talk to you all and show you this amazing plan of how I was gonna lead this company into the future but a couple of weeks ago things changed.” Still looking at you while he says this, your eyes begin to water while he remains serious. “I got to know this woman who I thought hated me and she completely changed my world. She’s stubborn as hell, she’s irritating at the best of times but she’s also funny and kind and would do anything for the ones she loves.”

Holy shit. Your eyes widen with surprise. Max means that, he really means everything he has just said. If the man had a heart in that chest of his, those words came from right there. You love this man, and he loves you. So much so that he is willing to give up the position for you to take over and lead the company to victory. Max sees your worth, though it seems others do not. Ted stands from his position, finger pointed at Max. “You mean to tell me you're giving all this up for a woman?”

“Exactly.” Max turns to face him with two affirmative nods. “But, she’s not just any woman though, she’s the woman.” Then, he turns to face you again, the smile reappearing on his lips. “The woman I’ve grown to love and realised how much she actually does for this company. Y/N is far better suited to this job than me. She has a passion for it that can’t be replicated. So therefore, I am out of the race. The job is hers.” With that final statement, he fixes his suit jacket and strides across the floor towards you. Eyes blown wide with lust and adoration, his hand comes to cup your cheek as his lips crash onto yours in a passionate, and really hungry kiss.

This isn’t how you thought today was gonna go, but you aren’t complaining in the slightest. It’s perfect. The way he delivered the news to you and everyone else was perfect. Mixed reactions about the decision scattered across the room behind his shoulders, but you didn’t care. Even if you wanted to care about what your fellow co-workers had to say about you being their boss, you couldn’t as Max began walking you backwards to the elevator like he has some place to take you. “Maxie?” You mumble into his mouth. “Where are we going? I have work to do.”

“I glamoured Ted to give you some time off.” Max breaks off the kiss to urge you into the elevator and as soon as the doors are closed, he reveals why he did that. “You and I are going travelling, toots. Everything’s ready for us to leave, all we have to do is get your suitcase packed then head to the airport.”

“What, really? You mean that?” You ask with an excited smile spreading across your face to which he nods in return. Multiple questions sprung to mind but you couldn’t let one spill as the doors reopened and Max hurried you towards his car, sounding more excited than yourself. “You’ll have a lot of work ahead of you with the new job position, but I want to show you the world first, baby.”

“Oh my God… Max.” Gasping with glee, you plant one kiss on his cheek then another on his lips before he is ushering you into the passenger seat of his car. In the backseat you could see two large suitcases, indicating that it’s going to be a long travelling trip that you’re taking. “How long?” You ask as Max climbs into the driver's seat and starts the car. “Six weeks...” He shrugs. “...Six months. Who knows toots. However long you want it to be.”

“Max, how long did you tell Ted? You can’t do that.” Worrying that you might not even have a job when you get back, Max leans over the partition with a smirk. “Baby I can do whatever I want. I don’t work there anymore.” He chuckles. “I took care of everything, don’t worry. Your job is waiting for you right here when we get back.”

“God I love you.” Smiling into the kiss on his lips, he kissed you back harder and nodded. “I love you too, toots.”

Six weeks or six months of travelling around the world, who cares? So long as you’re spending every second of it with Max Phillips at your side.

***

One hour later you stood at the front door to your home ready to start your new adventure. Max had just finished putting your suitcases in the car when makes his way towards you like he had ants in his pants. “Baby, did you lock your door yet? I need to take a leak.”

“No, not yet.” You reply with a giggle, but then gasp when he delivers a smack to your backside - a playful reprimanding. “Who’s laughing now?” He said before rushing into the house and you smiled. You found it funny that Max looked like he was a second away from his bladder bursting, but the fact that just a few weeks ago you would have despised Max for spanking you like that and now you love it is most amusing. Even now as you look back on the way you two once were with each other, you smile again.

Mentally going over everything and making sure that you haven’t forgotten something, nothing came to mind and you were really starting to get into the vacation mood. You wondered where Max is taking you first. He won’t tell you, opting to make it a surprise instead, you’ll find out once you’re at the airport and about to board the plane - in first class! All the effort he went through to make this happen makes you… aroused, and pleasuring him to express your gratitude is something you’ve been thinking about for the last hour, and that spank to your ass just a few moments ago has turned you on.

The door behind you opens quietly with Max taking a tip-toeing step outside. You don’t turn around and let him play whatever game he was up to because you liked it. You liked the suspense creeping up on you, but were taken by surprise when presented with a single red rose. “For you, my love.” He whispers against the shell of your ear, pressing his chest into your back. Taking the rose from his hand, you brought it up to your nose and took in the aromas with a hum. “Thank you.” You murmur, resting your head back to his shoulder and looking up into his beautiful brown eyes. “Did you really need to take a leak, or did you just go in there to grab the rose?”

A warm smile and a slow wink answers your question before his hands come up to rest on your hips with a gentle hold. You lean in, closing the little gap between your lips to kiss him, however he stopped you before they could meet. “Are we ready to go?” Max asks rhetorically, kissing your cheek once before moving away, but taking your hand and pulling you along with him to lock your front door. “Yes.” You nod, now pulling him along to the car hastily. Once inside, Max leaned over the partition and clipped your seatbelt in. “Safety first, toots.”

“Stop being such a gentleman.” Blurting that out upon feeling overwhelmed with arousal, he was making you feel so special with the little gestures and all you want to do is climb onto his lap and kiss him passionately like a cat in heat. “I hope this flight is a quick one.” You wink, shooting him a nuanced signal that he instantly picked up on. Crooking one brow and looking down at your body once, Max hummed ‘me too’ before starting the car. With his vampire abilities, he will certainly be able to tell that you're horny right now.

The car journey was thankfully a short ride, but with Max holding a hand to your thigh the whole time which only seemed to worsen your current state. Though, your vulgar thoughts were pushed aside when arriving at the airport and taking the suitcases out of the car to head inside. Checking in and going through customs can sometimes be a harrowing task to complete, airports are a crowded place, filled with thousands of vacationers, but that too was a short-lived experience. You and Max were sitting in a restaurant after thirty minutes waiting for the announcement to come through the tannoy. Europe is the direction you're heading for, Spain is the country you’re visiting first and it’s due to take off in an hour.

“We have time to eat something, what would you like?” Max asks, lifting up the menu to browse. The man was once human and he does enjoy food, but his preferred choice is blood, therefore you ask him if he is hungry. “Not for that just yet, toots.” He shakes his head before lowering the menu and waiting for you to figure out what you’d like to eat. “Maybe later.” Smiling as he winks, you took a look over the menu once and chose something light to eat. Consuming a heavy meal before a flight doesn’t sound appealing and besides, you can eat something on one of the two plane flights if you get peckish.

The hour passed by quickly and before you knew it, you and Max were boarding the front of the plane first. The smell of leather instantly enters your nose and you skim your fingers along the seats Max picked out for you both. It looked like a cubicle, a cosy cubicle for a couple to snuggle together inside of. A double white plush faux leather seat with a panel at the side for privacy, inside was lit up with soft lights and a small tv, with two cup holders and a long desk, which even had drawers for you to put stuff inside. It was the dream; even better than you expected first class to look like. Taking a seat first with Max joining you second, the amount of leg room available prompted you to slump in your position with delight, but then you found a handle at the side of the chair.

“Oh my, Max, look at this.” Pulling on the handle with excitement, the seat reclined. Feet lifted off the floor, your shoes were the first to be discarded and Max only chuckled as you got comfy before flagging down the stewardess for blankets. He too pulled his seat back and discarded his shoes, then thanking the stewardess and closing the little panel door, you both were satisfied to relax while everyone else boarded the plane. A short while later, the stewardess came back to ask that you wear your seatbelts as the pilot was preparing to take off.

As soon as the plane was up in the air, soaring above the clouds, you and Max took your former position of comfort and lay back in your chairs again, but this time putting the TV on to watch a movie. You had a short flight ahead of you first before arriving at Charlotte Douglas International Airport in one hour, where your next flight will take you to Madrid, Spain, and that flight is seven and a half hours long. Max should feed before that flight takes off as the last thing you want is a vampire going crazy thousands of feet off the ground. Lifting your head from his chest to ask him about it, surprise brings a smile to your face when seeing that he was asleep.

Looking peaceful as one can be when sleeping, the muscles in his face were still and beautiful, prompting you to place a kiss to the corner of his lips then rest your head back onto his chest. You didn’t want to sleep just yet, but you weren’t about to disturb Max’s deep slumber just to ask about taking a drink of your blood before the next flight.

I’ll ask him later instead…

***

Ten Hours later

Max startles awake beside you, eyes searching frantically until they land on you. “Hey, is everything ok?” The corner of his lip curves into a small smile as he stares at you. What is going on with him today? His eyes flicker along your face before meeting your gaze and he’s looking at you like he hasn’t seen you in years.

His hand gently cups your cheek, his thumb rubbing along your bottom lip. “You are so beautiful, amor.” A small laugh passes your lips and he looks slightly confused. “Max, did you just call me amor? Have you been practicing Spanish for our trip or something?”

His eyes blow wide and he quickly pulls his hand back before standing abruptly and rushing off to the toilet. He’s acting really strange. Maybe he needs to feed?

You shuffle out of your seat and make your way to the toilet knocking on the door softly. “Max, baby it’s me. Let me in.” After a beat, the lock on the door clicks and he opens it slowly just a crack - enough for you to push your way inside.

“Hey, you really need to feed. I haven’t seen you drink anything in hours. You can feed off me if you like?”

“No! I mean…I’m ok toots, honestly. I’ll feed once we get settled into our hotel.” Your eyes roam his face searching for answers but he pulls you into a searing kiss and all thought goes out the window.

Taking your seats once again, you order some food and drinks. He may not need food but I’m starving. You ask him questions about where you're going and he fills you in on all he has planned. Every once in a while you catch his gaze and he looks at you with such devotion. Like your the love of his life.

“I can no believe I have you in my life again.” He moves slowly towards you, his eyes focused on your lips until they meet in a soft gentle kiss. The kiss is like nothing you’ve had before. It’s slow and sensual and not at all like how Max usually is. He’s normally devouring you, hungry for sex.

Pulling away he kisses along your cheek before sitting back. “You sounded funny just then.” He hums as his eyes flicker to you. “You sounded like you had an accent.” Your eyes are narrow in suspicion but all he does is laugh. “Oh toots I think you’ve had too much to drink. Maybe you should slow down.

“Yeah…maybe..” Wait! What did he mean by again?

***

Max unlocks the door to your hotel room and you are in awe. He’d gone and booked the penthouse sweet and it was breathtaking. Opening up the balcony doors you stand against the railing and take in the beautiful scenery. Crystal blue sea and mountains off to one side.

You can feel him behind you as he wraps his arms around your waist. There is a faint sound of music from the street below and the cool evening breeze swirls around you. God, this is heaven.

He rests his head on your shoulder and lets out a contented sigh. You can feel the hard press of him against your ass and you push back a little, a groan falling from his lips. You have been waiting all day for Max to take you and you were so fucking horny, you’d let him take right here and now.

He pulls away a little and turns you into his arms so you are facing him. His arms slide around you again pulling you close, but instead of kissing you passionately and ripping your clothes off - typical Max style - he begins to dance. Dance?

Although, this isn’t how Max normally acts you can’t seem to find it in you to care. It’s sweet and romantic and you love him so much that this moment is perfect.

Max pulls away, just enough that he can look at you. He gazes into your eyes, rubbing his thumb over your cheek. His other hand slides along the curve of your waist - touching, caressing - like he hadn’t done this for an eternity. Like he hadn’t just had you writhing beneath him just 72 hours ago.

His eyes focus on your lips and you can feel the tension coming off him in waves as he leans in closer. His lips crash onto yours and what starts off slow and gentle soon turns hungry. You both pull away panting and you twine your fingers with his and lead him back into the room, where you begin to take off your clothes.

Once you’re bare before him his visibly gulps as his eyes take in your naked form. Your eyes flicker down to his trousers and you can see he’s painfully hard beneath them. You slowly walk towards him, reaching out to help him remove his clothes but before you can actually touch him, he mumbles something about freshening up and rushes off to the bathroom.

A worrisome feeling settles in the pit of your stomach. Max had been acting so strange all day - well, since he came out of your bathroom - and you needed to ask him what was going on.

When you approach the bathroom you notice the door is ajar slightly and you hear him mumbling something. Is he speaking Spanish? Peeking through the gap you can see him clear as day in the mirror but what you see makes you stumble slightly.

He has scars littering his chest and he is currently trying to cover them up. You don’t remember Max having scars. Or was I so caught up with lust I never noticed? You look closer and you think you can make out a faint scar over his left eye. What the fuck?

“Mierda. Deja de ser un idiota. Esa es tu esposa” Fuck! Stop being an idiot. That’s your wife. Once he has covered the few scars littering his torso he looks in the mirror, giving himself a pep talk. “Get a fucking grip, Pero. You have finally found her. After all this time. Do no fuck this up.”

Who the fuck is Pero?

To be continued….

Everything: @maievdenoir @amneris21 @hnt-escape @elegantduckturtle @harriedandharassed @jediknight122 @ayrusss @hayley-the-comet @sherala007 @alexxavicry @scorpio-marionette @donnaa @practicalghost @tanzthompson @beskarprincessjenny @littlemisspascal @icanbeyourjedi @thatpinkshirt @maryfanson @sunnshineeexoxo @misspearly1 @misspearlssideblog @athalien @its--fandom--darling @sara-alonso @doommommy @trickstersp8 @nembees @kaitieskidmore1 @mswarriorbabe80 @deliriosinrose @allthe-ships @tintinn16 @sirpascal @manuymesut

Max Phillips: @paulalikestuff @almaeunice @readsalot73

[foreignswaggersession]

Best of K-Pop 2021 - 10-1

All of these are SOTY material in my book...

10. Oneus - LUNA. I've been rooting for Oneus every since Bing Bing nearly topped my best of 2019 list. 2021 gave me two excellent title tracks from Oneus (and one awful one but we're gonna ignore). As with 2019's Lit, Oneus mixes traditional and contemporary music to great effect, but this time it's 80s pop so you know I ate it up. The way each version of Luna's chorus has different beat drops keeps it fresh throughout. Also, they had the great sense to leave the dance break off the album.

09. SHINee - Atlantis. Y’all can have View, but Atlantis is the summer sea epic that I deserve. Shinee picked up where Ateez left off, satisfying my previously unknown need for conceptual songs about the ocean. I can't tell you what SM was thinking with Don't Call Me, but they remembered who Shinee was for the repackage. Atlantis also has the best Minho rap in a title track since Lucifer - him saying “Atlantis” with 4 syllables is iconic.

08. aespa - YEPPI YEPPI. You know what, girl crush is great actually. I’m impressed but not surprised that SM figured out to elevate this generation of girl group k-pop – unlike their title track of the same name, Yeppix2 is actually the next level of the girl-crush genre. I love a confidence anthem, and this is the best one since Dalla Dalla. Nonstop hyperpop energy that adds 10 years to my life. Ok aespa, I see y'all.

07. Seventeen - Heaven's Cloud. Winner of my go-to serotonin booster award of 2021. Heaven's Cloud instantly became my favorite Seventeen song. The synths are literal heaven - boy groups, this is what happiness sounds like! Woozi was in his bag in 2021 I can't deny. Gimme your gimme your gimme your love love cloud.

06. SHINee - I Really Want You. Shinee being Shinee, we love to hear it. My favorite and most played song for most of the year. I literally cannot feel bad listening to this. Loud, brassy, shimmering funk music with Shinee’s undefeatable vocals. It's up there with Married to the Music and Dream Girl (should have been the title track, fu SM).

05. Seventeen - To You. I really didn't expect Seventeen to top Heaven's Cloud. And then I heard the teaser for Attaca, and I knew they were going to give me everything I wanted in 2021. To You hits all the beats of Heaven's Cloud but with a stronger beat, making it an intense and uplifting synth banger.

04. Golden Child - Spell. Sonic crack 😜. I don't know how else to describe how I feel when Spell comes on - I have to set a limit on how many times I can repeat this song so that my play metrics don't get screwed. The homies stole WJSN's music to great effect for Spell. Just pure glittery adrenaline, my boys are at their best when at 100% energy. Full8loom can’t miss - when Golden Child gets a Full8loom title track it's over for your favs I promise.

03. Key (SHINee) - Bad Love. Leave it to Shinee to outdo Shinee. I’ve been sleeping on Key’s solo potential – this blew every other solo out of the water. I'm genuinely surprised Key got better music that Kai or Taemin. Look at SM giving a sh** about the singers. Pounding 80’s beats are always welcome in my k-pop, and Key’s vocals make the song soar (the ending!!!). Everyone says this is copying the Weeknd, but I don't listen to the radio or go to the mall, so I don't know what y'all are talking about! Song must slap though, if it led to this!

02. Dreamcatcher - Poison Love. The only song to stay in my top 3 since January. I love edm dance tracks from the girlies (see Lovelyz's Temptation, f*cking love it), and Dreamcatcher has some of my favorite dark and bass-heavy edm b-sides (Sleepwalking and Silent Night are 👑). Poison Love is their best one yet - sleek, dramatic, and angsty. My previous best of year pics for 2019 (Woohyun - Just Look at Me) and 2020 (Pentagon - Asteroid) were synth edm tracks, so Poison Love was most poised to take the number 1 spot, at least until Shinee came back. But then...

01. Seventeen - Rock With You. I really thought Shinee would sweep my end of the year list, but I can't deny the hold Rock With You has on me. Seventeen has been giving all of their good songs to Japan ever since 2018's phenomenal Call Call Call. Not a bad decision, but as a result, I haven’t cared about a Seventeen Korean comeback since Thanks. Hit and Fear were good for like a week but had zero staying power, and I couldn't be bothered to buy or stream their 2020 K-releases. And in 2021, Heaven's Cloud was so good I completely forgot about Ready to Love. HOWEVER, with Attaca, Seventeen decided to give Korea the good sh** this time! Rock With You is now my favorite Seventeen song in a year that gave me my three favorite Seventeen songs ever. It's also their strongest comeback since Aju Nice (the good old days when Seventeen was fun). There's not a single flaw I can find in this comeback. The song is full of energy with hooks all over the place, the choreo is 10/10, everyone looks great (especially Jeonghan). Even though Shinee didn't take the top spot, I feel like Shinee is still responsible for this comeback - their return to k-pop encouraged Woozi and Hoshi and the rest of them to not flop in front of their favs. Seventeen is out here showing all these Super Junior clones with too many boys how it's done!

[honeybeecomebuzzingme]

N is gorgeous.

10 out of 10! Over 9000!!!

He is everything, the universe, oh so handsome.

I feel very happy 😌😸🥰💖💛🎶🖤😸

I'm a happy kitty. I feel confident and content.

One could say that I love him, and love all 😍💕

It's awesome to be polyamorous!!

I love everything about this 💞😻

Cannot believe how amazing N is after all this time - and so cool with everything - it's like he has a spiritual effect on me and how I see the world. He inspires me. He is an exceptionally humble person, deserving of all the love and adoration in the world. He is the catalyst.

And if I could remember the lyrics to the song or I'd say he's a zampony? Like I need to find that song. I wrote it in 2018, a very sappy dramatic song, and I would play it on guitar but it was also designed for cups of clapping as well. It's the first song I ever wrote on guitar and played for people in Wales and I believe it definitely described my path to meeting N and how he would impact and improve my life.

He changed my opinion on my poor old life... My poor old life

He makes me remember the words I could not keep. He is gold standard, an inspiration.

I would say he's my muse- N encouraged me to pursue my career and writing. He teaches me a lot, and I have changed a lot through his guidance, all his family have done as much as any of my friends - my Nakama. What's most important is that N has taught me to accept myself and this brings me confidence. He accepts me for who I am as a pansexual and polyamorous person. He doesn't pressure and I always have consent to everything as well which is something my ex fiancée's in the past were not always find of due to assumed spousal benefits. And I'll touch on that with writing Last part 2 or 3 depending on how much time I have.

Furthermore I will try to find more to the songs and poems I used to write to post on here.

That's all for now 🙂 I love my Nakama 🤗

Take it easy and drive safe 😜🐱

Go with the flow 💜💯🌃

[dean-winchester-is-a-warrior]

Thank you, my lovely!! I'm so glad the emotions and pain rang true for both of them.

I agree completely with you that in real life, NO ONE should be slapping ANYONE! (Are you listening Will Smith?! 😜) But yeah, I've used it for dramatic effect once before, and even though I don't condone it, just like the other time I used it, it felt like the truthful response from her in this case. 😊

I also agree that Dean is an idiot for not realizing that she was gonna need more from him. 🙄 I think likely, in his mind, coming to her when he was hurting (even though he ran away almost immediately) and the fact that he comes back to her all the time should tell her how much she means to him. Cause, you know, he's an idiot. 😄

But for her, of course, she just thinks she's convenient, just something he can utilize when he needs.

I couldn't imagine loving and then losing Dean Winchester, so having him walk out like that hurt my heart too. But it would be almost equally heartbreaking to think you were just one of many options for someone who was YOUR whole world.

Anyway, thanks so much for reading and reblogging this part. The 3rd and final part is up now. I hope you get the chance to read it soon. 😊❤️

Laughter Like Music Pt. 2

Series Summary: Y/N and Dean exist in completely different worlds. Can they ever bring them together?

Chapter Summary: It's been 3 years of trying to keep their relationship light and breezy, can they keep it up?

Pairings: Dean x Y/N

Chapter Explicit 18+/Warnings: Light smut, kissing, fingering, implied smut, angry!dean, jealous!dean, dean being an asshole, sweet fluffy!dean too though.

Word Count: 4,659

Series Masterlist

A/N:  So, this is the second part of my little prompt mini-series suggested by the beautiful @eevvvaa. You can find the first part above. ⬆️

The 3 prompts from her ask will be in bold.

The beautiful divider below and at the bottom were created by @talesmaniac89

Masterlist ---- Tag Lists

Three Years Later:

Y/N threw down her purse as she entered her front door, kicking off her heels and heading straight to the kitchen for a snack. Work had been long, and she was in desperate need of a pick me up. 

As she reached for the greek yogurt and strawberries, her phone buzzed, and she rolled her eyes. She just knew it was going to be her boss asking her to start early the next day. She pulled it out of her jeans pocket and started thinking up plausible excuses. When she saw who the text was actually from, her entire face melted into happiness.

Dean: Hey beautiful. I’m close by, wondering if you’ll be home this evening. I have surprises and I’d like to deliver them in person. 7:00 ish?

Y/N: Surprises? What are they?

Dean: Should I provide you with the definition of a surprise?

Y/N: *pouty face*

Dean: Will you be home?

Y/N: Of course! The door will be open!

Dean: Um, no it won’t! Please don’t tell me that you leave your door unlocked!

Y/N: Only when I’m expecting someone. 🙄

Dean: No, never. Jesus, never leave your door unlocked!

Y/N: Fine! The door will be locked and barricaded! Happy?! Sheesh!

Dean: I’ll bring my battering ram.

Y/N: Dirty! 😘😘

Dean: You’re a little idiot. I’ll be there at 7:00. Or close.

Y/N sent him a heart emoji to finish their conversation, completely unable to wipe the smile from her face. She was so excited he was coming. It had been over a month since she’d seen him. She wondered how long he’d be able to stay this time. She never had any idea. Sometimes he only stayed a few hours, and once he’d stayed for three weeks. 

For the last three years this was the way things had gone between them. Dean would stop by whenever he was in the vicinity, and had a bit of time to kill. As time went on the visits became a bit more frequent, but they were never regular, and they never lasted long enough for her. 

She didn’t know how Dean felt about their situation, because they never talked about it. She never pushed too hard about defining their relationship because she was scared she’d push and he’d run. So, she took what he gave. And as the years went by and she realized that she’d fallen head over heels in love with him, that became harder and harder to do.

But she was so happy when he was there. They had a lot of fun together, laughing and talking, sometimes for hours at a time. Dean still had the ability to crack her up and keep her in stitches. But they never talked about his hunting life. He’d tell her funny anecdotes from his life on the road with Sam, he’d talk about gross motels, or rude staff. But anytime she asked a question directly related to a hunt or about how he spent the majority of his life, he’d quietly steer the conversation in another direction.

It was extremely frustrating at times, but she tried not to let it get to her.

As well as still being able to make her laugh a lot, he also still had the ability to completely melt every molecule in her body when he kissed her or touched her. The sex was still mind-blowing between them, though now Dean knew every inch of her body like the back of his hand, and knew too, just where to press and how to tease to make her shiver and moan, leaving her desperate.

Lately the sex had started to feel more meaningful, as though they were sharing a deeper connection. Y/N shook her head, sure that it was just her overactive imagination. But about six months ago things had seemed to change a bit, after one night in particular.

It had been a very cold and frosty night when she’d been woken out of a doze on the couch by a pounding at her door. She’d rushed to open it, finding Dean standing there, covered in snow, blood, and bruises. She’d gasped when she saw him.

“Dean! Oh my god! What happened?” Her surprise made her voice squeak.

Dean just shook his head, fluffy snowflakes drifting down from his hair. She’d pulled him inside the door and started brushing the snow from his shoulders before she pulled his jacket off and tossed it on the chair by the door. 

She looked up into his face again, making note of the split lip and dark purple bruise on his left cheekbone. Something had hit him so hard there, that the skin had split and dried blood streaked down from the cut. 

She’d never seen the obvious physical damage that hunting caused him before. He kept pretty much everything about the hunting part of his life away from her as much as possible. Though, she still saw the effects at times, in the way nightmares would sometimes wake him up with a shout of fear or pain, or when she’d see his mind float away somewhere dark, storms gathering in his beautiful green eyes.

But outside of a few scuffed knuckles or the few old scars he had on his body, she’d never seen him hurt. Seeing the bruises and blood terrified her and made her want to cry for the pain he must be in. Then she remembered those old scars, and the fact that he’d been battling literal monsters his whole life, and she realized this was likely not the worst he’d ever looked. Probably by a long shot.

And she wanted to cry even more.

But she hadn’t cried, she’d reached her hand up to press against his cheek. “Dean? Baby, what happened?”

He had leaned into her caress, turning his lips to her palm and covering her hand with his. He shook his head.

“I shouldn’t have come here.” He said in a hoarse whisper.

But he didn’t leave, just pulled her against him and crushed her lips with his own. She’d tasted the metallic coppery tang of the blood from his lip as it split again and she pulled back fearing that she was hurting him. But he grasped her head in his hands and kissed her deeper, making desire, fear and sadness swirl around in her mind.

When he finally pulled back to breathe, she’d tried again to figure out what had happened to bring him there in such a state. 

“Dean, what happened?” A thought occurred to her and she panicked. “Is it Sam? God, is he okay?”

But Dean was quick to nod and flash a brief, unconvincing smile. “Yeah, he’s, Sam is good. He’s good.”

She’d breathed a sigh of relief, but confusion still plagued her. She looked up at him and he finally met her gaze directly so she was able to see the seemingly endless pool of pain and hurt that existed inside him and she couldn’t stop tears from falling then.

He’d shaken his head again, and a tear overflowed from his own eye. “I couldn’t save them. Not any of them.” He held his hands up in front of his chest, open and empty like something had slipped away from him. “They were basically just kids, and I couldn’t…” He trailed off and closed his eyes tightly.

Y/N thumbed away the runaway tear falling over his bruised cheek and reached up to kiss him again, at a complete loss for how to help him. He grabbed onto her like a lifeline, and when she pulled her mouth from his she held his cheeks in her hand, pulling his forehead down to hers. 

“Dean, I’m so sorry. What do you need? What…what can I do?”

Dean kissed her, featherlight and whispered against her lips. “You’re doing it.”

That night, she’d just taken him to her bedroom and stripped him and then herself. She’d climbed into bed next to him and held his body as tightly to hers as she could. He’d tried once more to say he shouldn’t be there, that he should go, but she’d shushed him and squeezed him tighter.

The next morning he’d been awkward and obviously embarrassed, apologizing for coming over unannounced like that and “whining about shit.” When she asked him if he wanted to talk about it, he just shook his head and gave her a sad smile. 

“Nah, I’m good sweetheart, think I’ve bitched and moaned to you enough already.” 

When she tried to contradict his reasoning, he just pulled her down to him and kissed her senseless before pinning her down and making her come apart, using only his mouth, a half dozen times. She’d had the sense that it was his way of thanking her, showing her his gratitude. But she couldn’t be sure. 

It was incredible and when he’d left her, later on that day, she was completely sated and exhausted. But it had also made her a little sad that he felt like he owed her something simply for being there for him. 

He'd stayed away over a month after that, ghosting her a bit when she texted. But eventually, he started responding more promptly and started to come back and see her, and he was his usual charming, silly self. 

She hadn’t mentioned the night again.

Now finally, after another month of missing him, he was coming over - with surprises. Plural. She couldn’t wait.

***

“Surprise!” Dean said as Y/N opened the door and he flourished a bouquet of daisies out from behind his back.

Beaming brightly, Y/N squealed a little and took the pretty, delicate flowers out of his hand. “My favorite!”

She stepped back so he could walk through the door. He closed it behind himself and grinned at her. “I know.”

“They’re so beautiful, thank you!” She stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek before turning away. 

But Dean grabbed her free hand to stop her. “Hey where do you think you’re going? I’ve got more, remember?” 

She turned back to him, a huge smile on her face. “I just wanna put them in water.”

“They’ll keep.” 

He pulled her flush against him and dropped his mouth to hers, kissing her deeply and leaving her panting as he pulled away. 

“Happy Anniversary, sweetheart.”

Y/N frowned at him. “What? What are you talking about?”

A look of mock horror spread over his face. “Ugh. I’m heartbroken that you don’t remember our anniversary. It was exactly three years ago today that I walked into a little police station in Fielding, Nebraska just in time to hear the dulcet tones of this ridiculously hot chick totally telling off this asshole cop.”

Y/N laughed brightly and shook her head. “You remembered?”

“Uh - yeah! How could I forget the day I had the best fucking bathroom sex of my life!”

Y/N laughed lightly but couldn’t stop a small twinge of sadness that he summed up their first meeting, something that had changed her whole life, as simply, incredible bathroom sex. 

But she gave herself a mental shake and told herself she was being stupid. He remembered the exact date they'd met, when she certainly hadn’t, and it really had been INCREDIBLE bathroom sex, so he wasn’t wrong. 

“And not only did I remember and bring flowers,” he held up his forefinger, noting his brownie points, “but - I made reservations at a very nice restaurant.”

Y/N’s squeal of delight was loud enough to make Dean laugh a real laugh, a sound that never failed to make Y/N’s entire being light up like a firefly. It was such a warm, rich, beautiful sound, and it was one she didn’t hear often enough. 

“Oh my god!” She gushed. “I get to put on a fancy dress and get wined and dined?”

Dean opened his mouth, no doubt to offer up the very dirty and rhyming conclusion to the wined and dined expression, but Y/N put her finger to his lips.

“Uh-uh! No!” She scolded. “You naughty boy you!”

Dean’s grin was definitely dirty and full of promises as he reached for her. But she bounded out of his arms.

“I’m putting these in water, and then I’m going to pour myself into something little and black. So, sit.” She ordered, pointing at the couch. 

Dean sighed deeply and obeyed. Half an hour later though, he was up and pacing, and looking at his watch.

“You know, I wasn’t lying. I did make reservations.” He called down the hallway towards Y/N’s bedroom before turning away and folding his arms across his chest.

“You’re such a drama queen.” Y/N said with a smile as she re-entered the living room. 

Dean turned to face her, an argument clearly forming, but all that came out was a puff of air. His eyes got round and then his face fell into a deep frown. 

Y/N looked down at the sleek black, sleeveless dress she was wearing. “What?” She asked, trying to see what was causing the frown. “What?” 

Dean took a couple of steps towards her. “Holy Shit!”

Y/N was panicked now as she twisted around to try and see the back of her, thinking maybe she had something stuck to her heel, or was there a tag she missed?

Dean walked slowly to stand in front of her. As she looked up at him, confused, his frown melted into a look of awe. “Incredible.” He said with a shake of his head. “You look incredible.”

Y/N felt herself blush even as relief made her laugh lightly. “Oh, well, thank you. I’m glad you like it cause it took quite a bit to get into this little thing.”

Dean’s hand shot out and clamped around her waist, tugging her roughly against his chest, and his lips lowered to hers. “Well, lemme help you out of it.” He mumbled gruffly against her lips before sweeping his tongue into the recesses of her mouth, pulling a dark moan from her throat.

But she pushed against his arms and pulled out of the kiss with a smile and a wagging finger. “No way, Mr. Winchester. You promised me wining and dining first.”

***

A few hours later they stumbled back through Y/N’s door, laughing and grasping each other. As Y/N turned the bolt on the door, Dean leaned back against it, slouching slightly and pulling her close to him. He chuckled as he rested his hands on the swell of her hips, letting his lips find the sensitive spot behind her ear.

“Are you drunk?” He asked her with a smile in his voice. “Should I not be taking advantage?”

Y/N laughed and then moaned as he nibbled on her skin and dug his hard, blunt fingertips into her fleshy hips.

“No,” she said breathlessly, “not drunk.” She pulled his face up to look him in the eye. “Just happy.”

A bright, warm smile softened his features and he gave her a brief nod. “Good.”

A gamine grin crossed her expression and she looked up at him coyly. “So go ahead and take all the advantages you want.”

With a low chuckle rumbling in his chest, he placed a kiss just below the corner of her jaw, forcing her head back as she sighed with pleasure. 

“Thank god!” He said against her skin. “Cause, as beautiful as you look, all I want to do is rip this dress off, right now.”

He moved his hands to grab and pinch the globes of her ass right along with the dress material. Y/N squeaked but then put up a finger. “Uh uh.” She shook her head, and then whispered up at him. “Don’t rip it.”

“K.” He said letting go of her with a smile. He turned her slowly to face away from him, and reached for her zipper. In an agonizingly slow move, he pulled the zipper down till her back was bare and exposed. The dress was designed with a bra built into the bodice, so there was nothing to impede his fingertips as they trailed ever so gently down her back. Gooseflesh spread across her skin and when he put his lips to the nape of her neck, a deep shiver wracked her body.

He continued to trail his mouth over her shoulder blades before pushing the sleeveless sheath dress off her shoulders, leaving her in only panties. A little instinctively, Y/N brought her two arms together in front of herself to shield her nakedness, but Dean wasn’t having it.

He straightened up so that she could feel him towering behind her, before he grabbed hold of her wrists and yanked her hands down to her side. Giving them a squeeze, which she knew meant to keep them there, he moved his hands back up her torso. 

One hand moved to her throat to wrap around it gently but completely, while the other hand pushed down the front of her panties. As he dipped the tips of his fingers into her slick heat, he dropped his mouth to the side of her neck. With his big hand wrapped around her throat he easily pulled her head to the side so he had full access to the long column of her neck. 

He began sucking and biting the delicate skin there, while his fingers plucked and pressed at the hard little button at her center. She felt like her body was being pulled tight between heated tension and bliss. Dean intensified the pleasure by slipping two long, thick fingers inside of her and pressing repeatedly on the soft spongy spot that he found so easily.

Within minutes, she was convulsing against him, and squeezing her thighs tight around his hand as he continued to work her through her climax. 

As it ebbed away, Dean scooped her up into his arms and carried her to her bedroom. “That was only number one.” He promised.

Hours later, Y/N was cuddled into Dean’s side and relishing the supreme joy she found in feeling his bare skin, damp and hot against hers, as they cooled down. She was never more content and never felt more safe than when she laid like this with him.

She ran her hand absent-mindedly over the tattoo that sat just below his left collarbone. She’d asked him one time what it meant, but he’d just shrugged and said it was “part of the job”, and she’d understood it had to do with hunting, so he wasn’t going to talk about it. 

She glanced up at his face, supremely relaxed now, his eyes closed and a small smile tipping up the corners of his lips. She knew he wasn’t sleeping because his fingers were tracing loops across her back. 

She found herself desperate to ask him what he was thinking about right now. Most of the time she couldn’t manage to figure out what went on behind those perfect features. She wanted to know if this time between them had felt as different to him as it had to her. 

This time didn’t feel like sex, it felt like lovemaking. 

Every sweep of Dean’s hand had been a warm caress, every kiss had seemed charged with intimacy, stronger than mere sex, more than pleasure; in Y/N’s mind it felt like Dean was trying to maybe…show her his feelings. She pushed the thought away as silliness, he was simply a VERY good lover.

But she couldn’t shake the feeling and she thought maybe tonight would be the time to ask him about how he saw their relationship, and what he saw in the future. The thought terrified her, and she distracted herself from the idea by groaning softly and starting to get up.

But as she tried to rise she felt Dean’s arm tighten around her ribcage. “No.” He said gruffly and pulled her back on top of his chest. 

She laughed lightly and gave his shoulder a gentle slap. “I need water, you goof. You’ve left me thoroughly dehydrated.”

A cocky smile bloomed on Dean’s face. With his eyes still closed, he licked his lips and then let her up. “Fine, hurry back.”

She kissed him quickly and then bounded out of the bed as fast as her spent muscles would let her, grabbing up Dean’s t-shirt to throw over her naked torso. 

She ran to the washroom before hitting up the kitchen for two glasses of water and some of the strawberries she’d cut up earlier. She was gone no more than ten minutes, but it was enough time to unravel everything.

She came back into the bedroom, with her hands full.  “I got you some water too, and I thought we could use some food to replenish ourselves for…”

She trailed off at the look on Dean’s face; something in his expression gave her a warning. He was up, and standing by her dresser, with his jeans on unbuttoned.

She shook her head. “Dean, what's wrong?” She gestured to his jeans. “Are you leaving?”

He pursed his lips and looked at the ground, shaking his head. “No, I had to text Sam, didn’t wanna walk around naked.”

Trying to pull the atmosphere back to the soft, dreamy state that had existed before she left, she smiled and teased him. “Well, nothing I haven’t seen before.”

His face spasmed in a horrible imitation of his usual sunshine smile, and Y/N gave up. She sighed. “What’s wrong, Dean? Did Sam say something, do you have a case?” Her heart squeezed at the idea of him leaving again so soon.

But he shook his head. “N’ah, I’m fine. I’m good.” He looked up at her and she finally realized he wasn't upset or worried, he was angry. She’d never seen him angry before. Annoyed? Yes. Grumpy? Absolutely. But never anger like she could see now, burning in his emerald-hued eyes. 

“Let’s talk about you. How are you doing?” He asked in a brittle voice.

Y/N frowned at him as she sat the strawberries and water down on her desk. “I’m…good.” She said, frustrated that he wouldn’t just explain what had brought on this change. 

“Yeah, good?” He asked. “Are you, uh, seeing anyone? Or you know, dating, or uh, fucking any other guys?”

She felt like ice water had been dumped on her and her mouth dropped open. “Excuse me?” She asked in disbelief.

When Dean just stared at her, his expression thunderous, she threw her hands up. “Not that it’s any of your goddamn business, but no. No, I am not ‘dating’ anyone.” She said, using finger quotes.

The muscle in Dean’s jaw jumped wildly as he clenched his jaw hard, his next words coming out through gritted teeth, spoken quietly.

“Don’t lie to me.” He warned as he held up a small rectangular card.

Y/N squinted at it for a few seconds before she realized what it was, a card from a flower shop that had accompanied a half dozen tulips. The card read: Thanks for last night. Had a great time, let’s do it again.

Her eyes widened and anger and slight embarrassment flooded into her. “You’ve been snooping around my bedroom?”

Dean scoffed. “I wasn’t snooping. I was looking at the picture on your dresser and it was sitting right there. Out in the open.” His voice filled with anger again. “Like you wanted to get caught.”

Y/N barked out a humorless laugh. “Caught? Caught?” She ripped the card out of Dean’s hand and threw it back onto the dresser. “Caught doing what exactly?”

She crossed her arms over her chest tightly like a shield against the frustration that wanted to come pouring out. “Caught going on a shitty blind date that my boss set up with her fucking nephew? I didn’t wanna be rude, so I went, we ate bad food, he walked me home and I said goodnight. That was it.”

Dean shook his head in disbelief again, pointing towards the card on the dresser. “Obviously not for him! ‘Let’s do it again’ sounds like he got something from you and he was looking forward to getting it again. You gonna try and tell me you didn’t fuck him?” 

Y/N’s palm cracked across Dean’s cheek, the sound echoing around the silent room. He kept his head turned away from her for a moment before turning back to continue giving her the same harsh, angry, accusing stare.

Tears welled up in her eyes and she would have given anything to not cry, but she couldn’t help it. She was so angry and hurt, she just wanted to scream. But she forced her voice into an extreme, deadly calm as she spoke past the lump in her throat.

“How dare you?” Her voice rose slightly as she asked again. “How DARE you? You have no right trying to lay some kind of guilt trip on me, Dean Winchester. You disappear for months at a time, you give me no warnings you’re gonna show up, no promises on when you might be back.”

She balled her hands into fists to stop from hitting him again. “You saunter in and out of my life, and yet you have the audacity to stand here questioning my faithfulness? Faithfulness to what? You don’t give me anything! I know next to nothing about your real life. You won’t include me, you won’t talk to me. Tell me about what happens in your life as a hunter; tell me about the bad things.”

Desperation had her reaching her arms out towards him, but he took a step back from her embrace and her heart cracked.

Dean shook his head and his voice was hard as stone when he spoke. “You don’t want that shit, Y/N. I don’t wanna talk to you about it, I don’t wanna tell you-”

He cut himself off, resuming his silence and seething and Y/N threw up her arms and turned the tables on him. “So, what about you? What am I supposed to think about you?” 

She swallowed hard and continued in a quieter voice. “I have never asked you-” She swallowed again. “I’ve never asked you, because, quite frankly, I don’t want to know. But, I mean, how many women do you have, just like me, scattered across the country? How many other women do you share your life with? Do you actually share your life with them? Your real life? Are they other hunters, ones that you’ll allow into your world? Or are they all just like me? Women you can just roll up on, to wine and dine.”

Y/N saw a brief flash of hurt cross Dean’s face as she referenced their evening together and his gifts and she instantly wanted to take back the hurt, but her pride and anger wouldn’t let her. The hurt in her heart was aching and she needed to expel it.

“What are we doing here, Dean? What is the point of this? What does it even mean? If you won’t let me into your life, why…I mean, then we don’t have anything.”

Dean’s expression was cold as ice and full of stark anger. The silence was screaming with his unspoken words, but finally he simply walked past her and grabbed up the black and red flannel that she’d ripped off of him earlier.

She turned to watch him walk to the doorway where he paused to speak quietly.

“No, you’re right. This is nothing.”

He stormed away from her and as she heard the door slam behind him, she covered her mouth and sank slowly to the floor like she was melting. She tried to stop the sobs from welling up inside her but she couldn’t. The pain was sharp, real, and devastating.

She wasn’t sure how to get up again.

1 - Jensen RPF + Any/All characters Jensen plays. @lyarr24 @deans-spinster-witch @impalaslytherin @maggiegirl17 @akshi8278 @candy-coated-misery0731 @nt-multi-fandom @deanswaywardgirl @slytherinlyn314 @globetrotter28 @jensensgirl @perpetualabsurdity @tristanrosspada-ackles @djs8891 @muhahaha303 @kayyay1219 @emily-winchester @recoveringpastaaddict @mimaria420 @sacriceria @envyaurora95

2 - Dean Winchester Fics Only. @saikosheadcanons @lgranger67 @carryonwaywardgirl

3 - Any/All Fics (regardless of fandom/character.) @sunshineandwings86 @kazsrm67 @sexyvixen7 @alexxavicry

4 - Everything (includes fan vid/DOOL edits as well) @unabashed-lover-of-fictional-men @awkward-and-indecisive @maliburenee @supernatural4life2022 @spn730015 @b3autyfuldisast3r @kickingitwithkirk @waywardbaby @foxyjwls007 @deanwanddamons @deandreamernp @deanwithscissors @myloversgone @snowlovespie @leigh70 @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @charred-angelwings @hopefuldreamers-world @mysherlock221b @jensensgotyoudean @stixnstripesworld @thoughts-and-funnies @magssteenkamp @norman1967 @princessmisery666 @eevvvaa @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @deepsketchsupernaturalcowboy @b-i-t-c-h-i-e @twirpbunwarrior @mysweetlittledesire @waynes-multiverse @mrsjenniferwinchester @bernasaurus @jensenslady79 @courtn92 @avanatural @ellie-andthemachine @this-is-me19 @roseblue373 @katbratsupernaturalwhore @fanfic-n-tabulous

[ideasmithy]

#IWear: Sculpting with Colour I decided to wear purple to a casual dinner. My usual style to style purple would be to team it with striking pink and maybe hints of bright blue. It's a very dramatic colour. Not quite the effect I wanted . Also this shade, @nyxcosmetics #SuperCliquey Ruthless is the kind of deep bluish-purple that I get lost it. It overpowers my skin colour and the shape and texture of my lips seem to drown in it,making me look like I have thinner lips or just a line. It's severe and again, not what I was going for. And finally this format gets powdery dry, never a good thing for a rich colour since the lips look streaky or cracked then. So I added @maybelline #SuperStay Philosopher, which is a chalky looking pale-pink with no shine in it. Because of the contrast, the textures that were getting lost are better highlighted now. See the image on the top right. That's not light reflecting on my lips, it's ombre giving it that illusion. In the other two pics you can see how the colours really look. Oh and if you didn't spot it, bright blue is also in the picture - on my eyebrows. 😜 #style #styleblogger #styleblogging #beauty #beautyblogger #beautyblogging #fashion #fashionblogging #fashionbloggingworld #fashionisart #fashionblogger #makeup #makeupisart #makeupblogger #makeupblogging #colortheory #colourtheory #colourandlight #colorandlight #lipart #lipsonpoint #lipstick #lipstick💄 #lipsonfleek https://www.instagram.com/p/BrGaDZ2H63L/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1an6gr2nlfilp

[who-talks-first]

Gals gals gals I got to watch it live!

It was so amazing! The chorus was such a great anachronism and so lively. The actors knocked it out of the park. The award goes to the one older gentleman who played the prophet for scaring the shit out of me and Creon. I now know why everyone nuts over Oscar's zoom theater performances. Jesus fucking Christ. I didn't know the gal from Cold Case was a classical Greek actress. She was so wow. Fearless, daring Creon Trump to publicly execute her. Shit. Just shit. If ye be not a fucking pussy o king slay me now in the square so that the people of Thebes may witness thy absolute wisdom and judgment. Whatst doth thy kinglyness waitest for? Hades and I have not all fucking day, ye punk ass coward. Okay some* of that is paraphrased.

(* all )

I felt honored to get to be a part of it, even though I just watched passively. The families and other hosts, and even some of the volunteer speakers, said so many profound things. Common sense things that shouldn't have to be discussed but they are over and over and over and over and over. It's violently exhausting. But these people are so brave, so determined to do the right thing, bring the culprits to justice, make sure their children are remembered and respected and honored. That their legacies are not consumed by the vultures of hades to disappear into the aether as though they'd never lived. But to be honored in a tomb with the proper rites and offerings so that others can visit them and know them and remember them.

I got so emotional. I nearly burst into tears right at the beginning when Antigone described the situation. This was so heavy. I wish I had grown up with theater and other "high art" in my reach for consumption rather than a bourgeoisie luxury not to be consumed by someone as vulgar as me.

Those who don't remember history absolutely will repeat it, and every piece of media since man first spit charcoal at his hand on a rock tell the same handful of stories over and over like some kind of creative Groundhog Day timeloop and individually most people recognize the patterns but for some inexplicable reason the collective people cannot reconcile that theoretical fact with the physical facts in front of them and it's so exhausting. Frustrating. Infuriating.

Sorry I just. I have a lot of feelings about what I just saw. I just want to grab every person in power and shake them and scream at them until they admit that they do have a conscience, a sense of right and wrong and they know that they've sold their souls and it's time to recompense.

Sorry. Sorry I'm just worked up. This went from Oscar fangirling to fuck cops. (I figure it's apparent in my storytelling but in case any of my followers on this blog were uncertain, I am radically leftist and communist and you're welcome to block or unfollow me if that makes you uncomfortable. I don't focus on that on this blog because it's about entertainment and the comraderie of fandom and I don't wish to alienate anyone except for Trump apologists and bigots. I even tolerate Reylos to a degree. 😜)

See now I'm babbling. I'm sorry. This just really got to me.

Thank you to Theatre of War and everyone responsible for making Antigone in Ferguson a reality. You're all wonderful beautiful people. It was an honor to experience and be effected by this production.

P. S. My internet is shit out here, so I didn't bother recording or screenshotting anything, knowing it wouldn't turn out. I almost missed the climax when my signal cut out. But I got to see most of Oscar's dramatic performance at the end and hear almost all of it.

Thanks everyone for capping and gifing it all for me. 💋💕

Scenes from Antigone in Ferguson 8.9.20 // Oscar Isaac as Creon // Theater of War Productions