#for context: she serial cheated

[f1uckinghell]

the evil ex gf who basically fucked my life has been making appearances in my social vicinity for the first time in like... 10 (?) years and I hate it. I don't want this person anywhere near me, near my friends, I wouldn't even want her near my worst enemy tbh. and I really want to stop thinking about her and how traumatic the relationship was. 😐

[losersiren]

𝘍𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘩 𝘔𝘦𝘢𝘵

"𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒍𝒊𝒑𝒔 𝒎𝒐𝒗𝒆, 𝒔𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎."

CW: Fem reader (she/her), Time-appropriate misogyny, underlying themes of comphet, implied cannibalism, weird behaviour (?), cheating (in a sense?). N: To the two sapphics that wanted this, Merry Christmas!

New town, new neighbourhood, new people, and the sense of unfamiliarity hits you before the fresh air can as you open the mustard yellow cab door. 

Suburbia. 

Picture-perfect houses lined up perfectly as if they were soldiers waiting for an order from their sergeant; the lawns are flawlessly mowed, with no imperfections seen, just like the housewives inside those soulless clone houses. How…dull. Your hand unconsciously grips the metal door as your jaw clenches. Your heels hit the concrete when you finally get out of the taxi, too focused on the sight in front of you in a less content fashion.

In any other circumstance, moving into such an established community would be a blessing. Especially with the rise of Suburban houses and nuclear families after World War Two, people were scrambling to settle down before, god forbid, another war started yet again. You would have to be demented not to take an opportunity like this by its horns and celebrate. But you weren’t here to settle down with a beau in tow to populate this “great nation.” No. In this context, this place would be your collar for the foreseeable future; one misguided risk, you made one tiny mistake at your job, and now you’re on time-out.  

A journalist from the big city trying to make a breakthrough, which in itself is pathetic enough, but to add fuel to the flame, you’re a woman trying to achieve that unattainable dream. Getting into a male-centred field of work should've been nearly impossible, but you dipped your toes in it at the end of the day! Which is more than most could say; maybe it was your persistent attitude in your youth that gained your spectacular references or how you constantly pestered the journalist's office for a month straight to get a job since you were more qualified than 90% of the men in that fucking building. Still, you were placed into the “woman's” section. Which was an old rundown storage closet with a rotten-wooden desk in the middle of it…

Fast-forward to later, you were given only the bottom-of-the-barrel stories to research, and god, were you tired of them, you might’ve possibly “burrowed” one story from one of the rookie's desks; it's not like he could do any better than you. You quickly sift through whatever was attainable for you. Passing through possible big stories you knew you had no chance to break through quickly, such as “unknown serial cannibal still missing, when will they strike again?” or “Local government official caught embezzling after the war.” No, the story fitting your position was “Local priest fights allegations of using church money for the devil’s lettuce.” It's a perfect scandalous piece that is easy enough to get information on and would get your name somewhat out there.

You took that story and ran with it, and it turns out the more you looked into the story, the more the allegations had truth to it. This story would be your breakthrough! You would be among the first women to break through that glass ceiling! Yet, when you walked confidently into the office with an article written and sources in your hands, you left with a broken spirit, your article being taken by a male co-worker and a transfer to Pennsylvania. Your boss shouted at you in that box of an office, demeaning you in every way, but what stuck to you is when he scoffed out that the only thing you could handle was “the housewife section” in a newspaper nobody reads and that would be your only legacy other than dying a washed-up old woman with nothing to her name.

And here you were where you belonged. 

“Miss, the meter is running here. You just going to stand there or…?” a ragged, aged voice calls to you from the driver's seat. “Oh! Right…sorry sir…” You acknowledge him, breaking out of your dissociation, and march toward the cab's trunk, fighting with your heavy leather suitcases to get out of the damn thing. “Ya know, a young lady like yourself shouldn’t be doing all that work…your husband going to help you with that?” the taxi driver questions you as you struggle instead of assisting you. “Don’t have one,” you quip back as you huff, finally getting the second one out; his eyes give you run down, full of judgement. “Well, you aren’t going to apple butter a stud with that tone, that’s for sure; smile more, doll,” the older gentleman snorts as you give him the money you owe him. 

As the car drives away, you turn to see your already-furnished house, partly given to you by some distant relative who brought property. You barely even know him, which is why you have to pay rent. But who are you to look a gift horse in the mouth? 

As you take in your new life, your eyes bounce from the russet brown asphalt shingle roof to the moss-green mowed lawn. A sigh escapes you as your eyes finally drift to your neighbour's house; it's nothing too shabby; it's nearly identical to yours, sparing a few minor details such as colour and different window positions. Your curious eyes wander through one of the windows in your line of vision at a woman in her early to mid-twenties, skin so pale you could almost mistake her for a Jane Doe in a morgue. Her blonde hair resembles hay you would see decorated inside a barn, and her eyes are as lifeless as a cloudy blue sky before it rains. Her thin fingers scrubbed away at porcelain plates dazedly, hunched over just a bit over her sink so that she could compromise for her taller-than-average height. Once aimed at the dishes below her, her eyes now meet yours; her movements stopped like a deer in headlights. 

You goan, she probably thinks you’re giving her the royal shaft. Well, that’s it for first impressions. You give her a smile and a small wave, hoping she doesn’t misconstrue your curiosity for something worse and rush into your new abode. Her murky blue eyes clear the more they follow your figure, fading into your house.

-

Love.

It’s simple yet complex to comprehend. Since the dawn of time, humans have expressed love through multiple forms of media, languages, and art. Yet, despite all this knowledge of the emotion, it never resonated with Annabeth. No matter how many romance novels or novels she read in general about the topic (much to her mother's dismay), it never clicked. It didn't click when boys started paying attention to her in high school, and it didn't click when she debated the pros and cons for each boy in her grade to have an answer when her friends asked her about what boy she had a crush on. Maybe she was just broken; the emptiness of her heart matched her stomach when her mother took meals from her to have a figure to attract whatever city boy would come waltzing in their small town—born and raised to be a housewife, to have children then die like the cattle at her meemaw’s and peepaw’s farmhouse. So she adapted, pushing aside her heart-racing anxiety that should’ve been the flutters of butterflies in her stomach anytime a man romantically talked to her. All that is in the past now…she changed her “habits”…she has a husband, a good home, and he has an excellent job for the both of them.

At least up till now. 

The house next to her was always empty except when, once in a blue moon, the owner would come for a few days or even a month to check up and maintain the property. She didn't know the man well, she doesnt even remember his name – so when she felt eyes on her, the lonesome woman didn't expect you… 

There you were, staring at her in your grey blazer and matching skirt; your shoulder pads, as did your belt, accentuated your figure. Your eyes…such an alluring sight that they froze her on the spot, hypnotizing her until you retreated into the building. The breath she didn’t even know she held slipped out of her mouth, and her heart drums rapidly against her ribcage like it never had before.

One blink.

Two blinks.

What…

The soapy rag slipped from her hand, causing warm water droplets to splash on her face. This action snapped the blonde out of her trance-like state. 

Her pupils expand, her eyes frantically move left to right, and there’s a flare-up in her flight or fight senses, yelling at the housewife to do something! Anything! as if her body is unconscionably sending signals throughout her body to make a move, but the question is…for what reason? Annabeth thought of the most rational reason she was feeling such a strong emotional response, and of course, the only logical explanation was that she just really wanted to be your friend.   

The back of her hand wipes her once-damp cheeks.

Yeah, that’s the only possible answer.

The next few weeks became a blur of events, from immediately baking you sweets the next day to “welcome” you into the neighbourhood and telling you if you ever needed anything to holler at her. To her inviting you to dinner with her husband to help you get “accumulated” more into such a new environment from the bustling city– she’s an idiot. God, she’s a grade-a dumbass for even thinking that she could pull something off like this; why is she even nervous? 

The nail between her top and bottom teeth snaps, yet another fingernail lost to the unknown anxiousness of the night. The dinner went well, right? She hustled away on the food for a day or two and put the excellent cutlery out—you laughed throughout the night, talked to her, and complimented her. You wanted her opinion on topics, which barely happened to her in the first place! This night was…no, it is a smash, so why did she feel she was doing something wrong? Guilt in the back of her head slowly crept up like the common cold in an elementary school.

Heels clack against the title-checkered floors in the kitchen, and there you were, hand resting on the kitchen door frame, holding an empty wine glass by its stem. Your lipstick smeared onto the clean surface of the rim, and a small liquid of red wine remained in the cup. She didn’t notice you at first, too lost in her turbulent thoughts, till you said something.

“Mary,” you softly say, attracting her attention immediately.

It took her a second to recognize and respond to the name, but Annabeth did.

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you; your husband just told me to tell you he’s resigning for the night,” you inform her sluggishly.

“Ah…” She exhales “..bless your heart, you didn’t hafta go through such a fuss just to tell lil’ ol’ me,” the blonde sputters, leaning against the kitchen counter, her bony finger tucking an out-of-place hairpiece behind her ear. “Does he always leave you to wash the dishes without helping ?” You griped, a crease forming between your brows as you set your wine glass on the counter closest to you. “ innit my duty, ya know, as a housewife or something,” she jokes, but you make your way toward her; “at least let me help…it’s the least I could do after you’ve given so much of your hospitality to me.” As you make your way to her, the more of you ingrates itself into all of her senses, the way your perfume smells so divine, the way the summer season has kissed your skin, and the way your lips move, sounding out every word that leaves them. 

The way… 

“Please…” Her soft hands stop you from coming further, the young woman’s voice timid yet light as a feather, “At least let me keep something of my hometown and give ya some southern hospitality. Yer real nice for looking out for me, but I don’t mind it.” She changes the subject so that you can no longer interject. “It’s late out. Do n’tcha got work in the morning, you mentioned earlier.” As if reality hit you, your eyes widened. “Ah! I forgot, gosh, I'm such a ditz; thank you again for your hospitality. You didn’t have to do anything; I really appreciate it.” you say in a hurry, and unbeknownst to you, the woman in front of you is heating up more than the fireplace in the next room. 

“No, thank you! For coming over and entertainin’ me,” She insists while fiddling with her frilly apron nervously. “I’m worried we’ll go on all night in a gratitude cycle if I don’t leave now. I’ll see you soon…I mean, we are neighbours,” you laugh.

“Mhm, I’ll see you…” Annabeth nods 

You smile and thank her again for good measure, then make your way out of the kitchen, but before you leave, you stop at the archway. 

Her breath hitches 

“Before I forget…and feel free to say no since you’ve done enough for me already, but you are the only person I know in this town. I was wondering if you don’t mind helping me with my work; clearly, I'm not a housewife, again, you can say..”

“I would love to!” She exclaims in excitement, “I mean…ahem, I would love to, anything to help,” 

“Then I'll see you soon,” you smile at her; by god, it's radiant.

When she hears the front door close and footsteps fading into the background, she squeals excitedly, having to bite her pointer finger to keep her voice down. She’s downright flush. The colour has finally seeped into her life, and it's like a rainbow after a rainy day; you, you are…you are something. She can tell you’re a great friend.

With newfound enthusiasm, she finishes cleaning the dishes in record time, finally putting down the wet rag before something catches her eye. The wine glass you left is still in the same place as before; she reaches for it and inspects it carefully. Usually, she would’ve washed it right away, but she doesn’t…she just stares at it, almost burning a hole in the damn thing. Yeah…she needs to wash it…dazed she grabs the damp rag near her, but that doesn’t clean the glass. No, her mouth moves without warning as her tongue caresses the rim where your lipstick was once stained. She was taking in the flavour of your lipstick and you, in a way, creating more smudges than there were in the first place.

There was a creak of a bed upstairs, a slight noise that snapped her out of whatever haze she was in, and her fingers twitched. Right, her husband. Her eyes automatically move toward the meat cleaver hanged. No, she changed; she has a new life now…she can’t. She looks down at the wine glass in her hand and bites one of her fingernails.

What is she doing?

And why…is her heart racing again?

She washes the cup but doesn’t put it back in its rightful place; instead, she hides it like a secret treasure. Finally, she resigns for the night, making her way up the stairs, and she hears it again: her husband moving in his sleep, causing the bed frame to creak.

Her fingers twitch involuntarily at her side.

It’s okay, though.

Now she has something to look forward to; she’ll see you soon.

End notes: What?...no! I wasn't gone for.... almost half of the year, hahaha... On a real note, every time I wrote, I felt like it was slop that should be burnt at the stake, but then it hit me last week that I'm literally writing for practice. I'm going to write slop, and that's okay!!! I also felt like I did too much for this fic, so I had to rewrite it so many times. But! in the holiday spirit! I'm back! I tried to write a country accent and input some 50s slang, but I don't know if either worked LOL!!! WATCH Carol (2015)!! Okay, I'll shut up now hehe

[jessica-problems]

I need you guys to understand just how bananas this one character arc in the manga murcielago is. okay so imagine the following: for the first 22 chapters, this character, Chiyo has appeared on panel almost EXCLUSIVELY in the context of having sex with her girlfriend, the main character, Kuroko. She barely has any personality outside of being a girlfriend.

So far as we see in half a dozen entire arcs, she doesn't even know about the crazy action hero shit that her gf gets up to at work, or that Kuroko regularly cheats on her. We don't get a single glimpse into who she is as a person. The framing would have us believe that she is just the latest in the string of vulnerable woman that Kuroko has taken advantage of. I'd written her off as a flat cliche ages ago. But then, after 22 chapters of doing almost nothing but get head, Chiyo suddenly reveals that she knows exactly what's going on. She hears that Kuroko is going to investigate a cult full of evil lesbians, and she's like "My girlfriend is a horny idiot. she's gonna fall for every trick they have. She needs my help." Then she pulls out the samurai skills that she's apparently had this entire time, and kicks in the cult's front door to keep her girlfriend under control.

It's like the manga was using the misogynist cliche to hide her in plain sight. If they were always planning to flesh her out, why bury the lede? It's just such a unique move that I don't know what to make of it. It feels like a plot twist, but it's not. It makes perfect sense that the girlfriend of an eight foot tall serial killer would also be pretty wild.

[ewingstan]

Worm and other media that won't just let you shoot the Joker, part 1:

Worm comments on the structure of stories, especially superhero stories, in some interesting ways. There's a lot of stuff that happen in superhero comics for no real reason than that it needs to happen for the story to be interesting; a huge amount of Worm's worldbuilding is devoted to taking these things and making the fact that they have to happen an explicit in-setting constraint. For instance, superhero stories tend to have more powerful heroes face off against much more powerful villains than their less-powerful allies, to the point where it seems like super-powerful threats are coming to earth every few weeks just because it wouldn't be interesting to read that comic otherwise. It gets weirder when you compare what villains end up visiting the cities of uber-powerful heroes vs the cities of less powerful heroes: Gotham mostly just has to deal with serial killers while Metropolis is a magnet for evil gods. Worm plays with this by having the Endbringers exist only because the big hero needed something to fight in-text: it changes "powerful heroes need powerful villains or else it wouldn't be interesting" from a Doylist justification to a Watsonian one. Then there's the fact that so much of the horrible conflict in Earth Bet is explicitly caused by Gods making sure the powers they grant people lead to increased conflict, the fact that one of the most powerful characters does what she does because the plot path to victory says she needs to, etc.

But the big one is Jack Slash, and how he's only able to get away with his bullshit because he has plot armor as a secondary power. As WB says here, "Jack's a reconstruction of the Joker type character in the sense that you can't have such a character take such a high profile position in the setting, without having there be a cheat." The Joker and similar characters are only able to keep being relevant threats in their stories because the narrative bends to let them win and stops them from being killed. Jack Slash is only able to keep being a relevant threat because his power makes the universe bend to let him win in the same way. Not only does this make for an interesting obstacle (its almost like they're fighting an authorial mandate!), but it skewers the use of similar character's plot armor and how unrealistic and unsatisfying it makes their stories.

But wait, what does it mean for a story to be "unrealistic" in the context of superpowers? Is being unrealistic in those contexts actually a problem? For that matter, what does it mean for a narrative to bend to let someone win? Its not like there's an objective way fighting the Joker would go, which the author is deviating from by letting him survive.

[Stuff under readbelow contains spoilers fo, the movie Funny Games and the book Anybody Home?]

Maybe we could say that if characters like the Joker were real, and put in the situations they are in their stories, they would end up being killed really quickly. But is that a reasonable way to judge stories? A narrative where such a character is killed unceremoniously to satisfy a need for realism isn't any less an expression of the author's deliberate choices than a story where the character keeps showing back up to satisfy a desire for fan-favorite characters. And while Jack Slash's arcs help show why deviating from "realistic consequences" in the service of keeping a character alive can make a story exhausting and screw with an audiences' appreciation of stakes, it doesn't make a strong case against the concept of villains having plot armor in general. A story isn't necessarily worse just for being constructed to keep the villains alive—all stories are constructed, and sometimes being constructed that way makes for the best story.

That becomes more clear when you take the premise of Jack Slash as "killer who wins because the mechanics of the universe says so" and make clear just how much "the mechanics of the universe" really just means "the story". Which is how you get Peter and Paul from Funny Games.

I'd highly recommend watching Funny Games (though for the love of god check content warnings), as well as Patricia Taxxon's review of it that I'm cribbing a lot from here. But to summarize, Funny Games is a movie written and directed by Michael Haneke about a family's lakeside vacation being interrupted by the appearance of two murderous young men, who capture them in their own house and slowly torture and kill them off. At least, that's what it seems to be about initially. It marketed itself as a somewhat standard entry in the genres of torture porn and home invasion thrillers, and played itself straight as one for the majority of its runtime. But then one of the two villains of the pair, "Paul," starts talking to the audience.

It starts small: after crippling the family's father and revealing that he killed their dog, Paul has the wife look for its corpse outside. While giving her hints, he slowly turns back towards the camera and smirks, before turning back. In isolation, maybe it could be interpreted as Paul smirking at Peter, seeming to look out at the audience only because of clumsy blocking. But then it happens again. Paul tells the family, who are completely at their mercy at this point, that they're gonna bet that they'll all be dead within twelve hours. When the family refuses to take the bet, asking how they could hope to win it when he can clearly off them all whenever they wish, Paul turns towards the audience and asks "what do you think? Do you think they stand a chance? Well you're on their side aren't you. Who you betting on, eh?" The audience is being acknowledged; their role as someone invested in the story is being examined by the ones introducing the stakes.

But the biggest moment comes near the end, when the mother grabs the shotgun she's being threatened with and blasts Peter. Paul startles, grins, and then hurredly grabs a tv remote and presses rewind. The movie itself suddenly rewinds to right before the mother grabs the gun, and plays again with Paul grabbing the shotgun right before the mother reaches for it.

Its a truly incredible moment, in that its the perfect way to forcibly take away the audience's suspension of disbelief. It forces the audience to acknowledge that they're viewing a story, not something happening to a real family. After their moment of catharsis against the villains, Paul makes the confront the fact that the movie will end however the creators want it to, and if they want the villains to win they'll will regardless of how little sense it makes. Fuck you, we can go from being set in the normal world with normal rules to the villains traveling back in time with a tv remote, because a story does whatever its creators want. Haneke just decided to make that obvious in the most jarring way imaginable.

But maybe the best way to illustrate Funny Games effectiveness at this type of artful unveiling is comparing it to its less-effective imitators. I've recently finished Anybody Home?, a recently-published book by Michael J. Seidlinger. It has the conceit of being narrated by an unnamed mass-murderer, guiding a new killer in their first home invasion. I started reading it before I watched Funny Games, and even afterwards took a while to realize the unnamed narrator wasn’t just a pastiche of a Paul-like character but was actually supposed to be read as Paul himself. Seidlinger was having his book be a sort of unofficial sequel to Funny Games, narrated by its star. Once I realized, a lot of the books details suddenly clicked. The big one was the constant references to “the camera" and the idea of murder being a performance for an audience, one that needed to be fresh and original to make “the cults” enjoy it. Take these passages from page 77:

If it happened, it would perturb. It would create suspicion. It wouldn’t end up ruining the performance, and yet, it could have derailed our casing. The camera can have all it wants; either way, it’ll make it look better than it really was. It’ll strip away the cues and other planned orchestrations and it’ll show the action—the actuality of each scene, each suggestion…

This is a spectacle, above all. The craft pertains to keeping and maintaining a captive audience; behind the camera, you’ll never know how it happened—the trickery that made the impossible possible, the insanity so close to home. It is spectacle.

Through online activity, the son made it clear that something is happening at home, yet we cannot be certain if he has noticed the camera.

These all point to the idea that the murders are being viewed by an audience rather than just by intruders, that this is a performance for said audience's benefit more than anything else. But notably, it also reinforces the idea of these characters having an existence outside of the camera: the camera shows the action and "strips away" the cues behind it, the victims have a life outside the camera such that they could plausibly sense that the camera is now here. The victims are sometimes described as playing into their role, but always metaphorically; always as if normal people start acting like characters when put in certain circumstances. Whereas Funny Games posits that characters will behave however the author wants them to, denying the claim that stories are realistic simulations of hypothetical scenarios.

The whole thing is predicated on the idea that there needs to be a guide, that the villain of a home invader movie is really in danger of something going wrong. Paul/The narrator keeps giving directions on what needs to be double checked, what needs to X, and its completely against the spirit of the role Paul served in Funny Games. If something goes wrong for the villain they should just be able to rewind and do it over, because the story was written for them to succeed. Anybody Home? throws out Funny Games theme of the story being on rails, of the winner being whoever the author wants it to be and the events following whatever the author wanted rather than what would "really" happen. It throws out the whole idea that it’s all just a story, by supporting the idea that the characters have lives not captured by the camera—or more relevantly, not captured on-page.

Because Seidlinger using the language of film in a book leads to different things going on with the fourth wall. The way Funny Games and Anybody Home? make the camera explicit are just different, and the former does it much more interestingly than the latter. Seildinger’s characters aren’t looking back at the reader, the fourth wall is never actually breached. Funny Games has Paul look into the camera to address the audience, making clear how it’s a story being set up for the audience's benefit. Anybody Home? invokes the idea of a camera tracking everything home invaders do in general, having it be a third-party force that’s itself an unseen character contained within the story, observing the intruder's crime rather than the reader. Why is it still a camera, if we're in a book rather than a movie? A character in a book talking about a camera watching them does not convey any of the same meaning as a character in a movie suddenly looking into a camera and smirking at the audience!

By the end, you realize that this is caused in part by the book's bizarro take on how horror movies exist in this world. It reveals that in its setting, all horror movies are adaptations of real home invasions, which get recorded by unseen mysterious forces. Killers enter a home and enact violence, are filmed by some supernatural camera, the footage gets leaked to the public, and then the killers sell the rights to the work to studios. The events of SAW really happened, but the movie was just an adaptation. Funny Games really happened, but the Paul in the movies was just an actor playing the Paul narrating this book. The killer's victims eventually realize that they're "victims," but not in the sense that they realize their characters in a story, only in a sense that they realize they got sucked into their world's magical realism bullshit.

Ultimately, while the book does the same trick of being all about how horror stories are “for” us, it gets rid of all the tricks that made it work for Funny Games. It even strips it's in-universe version of what made it special; Funny Games is just another adaptation of a real home invasion. All the meta stuff that makes it interesting in its genre are just gestured at as aesthetics.

So what makes Jack Slash in Worm succeed where the killers in Anybody Home? fail? Both are constructed to be entertaining for a 3rd party who stand-in for but aren't actually the audience; the entities in Worm, the cults in Anybody Home?. But Jack Slash doesn't mix his metaphors. Worm may turn various real-life factors affecting a work into in-story mechanisms of the world in the same way Anybody Home? does. But it doesn't also base itself off a text that takes in-story mechanisms and breaks them to force the audience to see the various real-life factors affecting the work. In effect, WB pulls off a trick Seidlinger tries and fails because WB wasn't taking another metatexual story and stripping it of what made it interesting.

Though that introduces the question: can such meta-moves be mixed? Can you have a text where story conceits become explicit plot mechanics the characters are aware of, while also having characters really look at the camera and tell the audience that its all just a story? Can you actually sell it and make it something interesting?

There is one story that tries this. I don't know if it pulls it off, but it certainly makes a lot of interesting moves that create a fascinating whole. It even comments on the Joker in the same way Worm does, having a character who seemingly cant die because the roll they play in the story is too impor—

Ah fuck.

Continued in part 2.

[sexysapphicshopowner]

🤎 Context/AU (Alternate Universe): Modern AU- You and Sevika are coworkers turned best friends at her mechanic shop. She's having a little trouble telling you...something. She uses her Secret Santa gift to you to tell you.

🤎 soft!mechanic!Sevika x bubbly!mechanic!reader

🤎 CW/TW: lesbians being lesbians, Sevika is Sevika but you make her feel things...she's not sure what to make of that, blossoming relationship, pining, christmas, santa, fluff, pet names, first kiss, mistletoe, suggestive talk (you gotta close your eyes though), no use of y/n, not proofread

🤎 A/N: I know I should be writing part 2 to 'Our Love' but this idea (and Sevika period) is giving me serious brain rot. Enjoy my probably ooc ass version of Sev. This sucks ass, butttt I'll make up for it with a better post later, I promise!!

🤎 Notes: most times, I will be explicitly writing a black reader. this is not one of those times. this is a fully ambiguous reader save for the gender- female. I'm a firm believer in the beauty of Sevika's scars so to keep them in this we'll say she's a surviving burn victim.

🤎 Word count: 2.7k

🤎 You were one of the first people to apply for work when Sev first opened her shop

🤎 It was basically run by the two of you the way you became quick friends

🤎 You had come in, already dressed in a worker's jumper, the top half off and wrapped around your waist with a black cami on

🤎 If it weren't for how you were dressed, she wouldn't have even realized you were here about the job posting because she was too busy focusing on how pretty she thought you were

🤎 You started the same day

🤎 It wasn't like you two didn't notice each other, but you both put into your heads that it would be unwise for you to let your attraction go anywhere due to you guys basically running a business together

🤎 So every time you caught yourself drooling over Sev as she worked under the hood of a car, muscles rippling, grease covering her in smudges here and there....whew boy, let's just say you take a lot of....water breaks

🤎 She's no better either

🤎 The way her eyes follow your curves every time you bend over to pick something up

🤎 She stares at your lips whenever the two of you are talking, be it inside or outside of work

🤎 Speaking of which, you guys hang out- a lot

🤎 Within the first month of you working for her, she had already invited you over for dinner- as a friend

🤎 Once you guys become besties, you're over her place more than your own

🤎 You two will talk about any and everything together

🤎 At some point you call yourself trying to ignore your raging crush on your best friend and get a girlfriend

🤎 It ends in you being cheated on serially

🤎 You go to cry at Sev's the night of the breakup

🤎 This is the first time....something happens between you two

🤎 You're both drunk of your asses, you moreso than her

🤎 She's watching you intently as you curse out your ex and ramble on about all the things she wasn't meeting the bare minimum with

🤎 It's not until you've been silent for a while, lips no longer moving, that Sevika looks back up to your eyes, the two of you now dangerously close to one another

🤎 "What's wrong? I was listening I swear," she starts to defend herself

🤎 Your pupils are blown, your eyes glassy and your face flushed- whether from the alcohol, your proximity to Sevika, or a combination of both, you were too inebriated to tell

🤎 You reached up, fingers just barely grazing her jaw as you spoke

🤎 "Your face is so....you're beautiful..." you slurred, fingers ghosting over the scars that were etched into the lower left side of her face, trailing down her neck and disappearing underneath the collar of her t-shirt.

🤎 Her ears burned red hot as she just let you talk

🤎 You continued to slur on, but she chalked it all up to you being drunk until you said some words that made her heart beat faster in her chest

🤎 "'M not....s'posed to....I think....I like you...." you whispered as you leaned against her chest

🤎 Had you been a little more sober, you would've noticed the way her heart started to beat out of her chest at your words.

🤎 Actually, had you been a little more sober...you wouldn't have said that, but shhhh....

🤎 You were out like a light afterward

🤎 It wasn't until that night that Sevika started to get worse with hiding her feelings for you

🤎 She was taking you on more...friend dates

🤎 Buying you flowers because she knew you liked them and "I know you don't have anyone to get them for you right now, so..."

🤎 If you have a hobby like reading or maybe art, she's buying you new sketchbooks and supplies or she's getting you the newest editions of your favorites- all signed because hello??? she's that type of bitch fr

🤎 She gets you guys matching bracelets for your birthday after 2 years of friendship- yes, it's been that long now

🤎 Then comes Christmastime

🤎 You talked her a long time ago into doing Secret Santa with the peeps at the shop

🤎 She doesn't really see the hype, not having much experience with Christmas and it's traditions given her rocky relationship with her father, but she does it (only for you though)

🤎 This is the second annual Secret Santa for the shop

🤎 Just your luck, you don't end up getting Sevika like you wanted

🤎 That's okay though because Sevika got you

🤎 And you know she got you because of how much she's suddenly stressing the secret part of Secret Santa

🤎 Last year, she told you who she had gotten immediately, the two of you picking out your gifts for your respective people together and everything

🤎 Not this year

🤎 This year she doesn't tell anyone, not you, not anybody in the shop- and you know it, you asked around about it

🤎 She racking her brain trying to decide what to get you

🤎 Doesn't help that you're starting to render her useless

🤎 You're catching her spacing out while staring at you more often

🤎 She gets this fuzzy feeling and this misty look in her eyes whenever you're around

🤎 You kinda have an idea that she likes you back, you play into it

🤎 6 months ago, you had started returning her actions- buying her little gifts, making her lunch everyday because she'd forgotten one so many times that now she 'doesn't even have to worry about it', you plan a few friend dates yourself, you cuddle up to her more often whenever you two have your annual movie nights every week

🤎 It's all making her think maybe you know, but...last she checked you kinda liked someone

🤎 You hadn't told her who, even though you knew it was her, but in her mind she was competing with whoever this mystery crush was

🤎 She just wants you to look at her the way she looks at you

🤎 Back to Secret Santa though

🤎 The Christmas party is fast approaching and you still have no clue what the hell you're gonna do to figure out what Sevika's gotten you since you know she's your Santa this year

🤎 You've tried begging, bribing, snooping, everything at this point

🤎 She's keeping her lips locked tighter than a chastity belt at this point

🤎 The party is being hosted at Sevika's penthouse this year

🤎 You aren't allowed to help set up

🤎 You are not happy about that fact

🤎 "Relax, sweets...can't have you snooping in the gifts while we put them under the tree. You might accidentally see whatever your Santa got for you," she teased, running her finger playfully down your cheek

🤎 It was a trick. Your gift is in fact not under the tree

🤎 You decide to play her at her own game

🤎 If she wants to flirt and do all of this stuff for you, you'll do a little something for her as well

🤎 Everybody knows Sevika's got a thing for your body

🤎 You two are best friends

🤎 Best friends.

🤎 You know...those best friends that share a bed like they're a married couple

🤎 The touchy ones that make people question if they're actually secretly in a relationship

🤎 She's never shy about grabbing or smacking your ass- I mean you aren't shy about doing the same to her so it's fair

🤎 The two of you will regularly poke each other’s breasts in passing 

🤎 Whenever she’s driving you to you guys’ “friend dates”, she has to hold your thigh- will 100% make up some lie that it’s for your safety (“How does you caressing my thigh make me safer, Sev?” “You’re asking too many questions here, sweets. Do you want me to move it?” “.....no.” “Then let’s ride.”) 

🤎 So, with all of that known, you decided to show off said body for the party tonight 

🤎 You wore a form fitting dress that was advertised as a sexy Mrs. Claus dress 

🤎 The soft fabric clung to your body like it was practically painted on, the cute little fur trimmings not helping cover the fact that the hem stopped right at your mid-thigh 

🤎 The spaghetti straps and plunging neckline were hidden underneath your dramatic (faux) fur coat 

🤎 You topped it all off with a Santa hat and your matching bracelet Sev had gotten you 

🤎 Needless to say she wanted nothing more than to see what you had on under that coat when you were the last to arrive to party- a detail you made sure you kept since she refused to let you come over to help with set up for the party 

🤎 Her jaw actually dropped when you finally did take your coat off 

🤎 You teasingly closed her mouth, smirking almost knowingly at her, “You’ll catch flies, hotshot.” 

🤎 She’s flustered all night 

🤎 Not only because you seem to be genuinely flirting with her, but because she knows what she has in store for you

Sevika was a bundle of nerves every time you looked up to catch her staring at you. You were drinking a glass of champagne, talking to...someone...she didn’t know, she was too busy looking at you to figure out which of her employees you were fraternizing with at the moment. 

The time to exchange gifts couldn’t come any sooner for her. 

She had been trying to work up the courage to just tell you that she’s in love with you for weeks now, and you with your games weren’t making it any easier. 

You’d take all her gifts with such a grateful smile, throwing your arms around her neck, pressing a kiss to her cheek, but then the very next day you were talking about your mystery crush again. 

You hadn’t said anything to the effect that you didn’t like all the advances she had been making, so she knew you at least felt...something for her...but she needed you to know exactly what she felt for you. 

You looked up to catch her looking at you again, throwing her a bright smile before you excused yourself from conversation with Danny and his girlfriend who’s name you forgot the second he’d introduced her, moving across the living room to go talk to her, “Hey you.” 

Boy if you could feel the way her heart was pumping and how sweaty her hands were the second you walked up. 

It took her a few moments- which you noticed- to find her voice, but she managed to smile back at you, “Hey yourself, Ms. Social butterfly. You’ve talked to everyone already.” 

You gave a soft shrug, “I mean, it’s not that hard to talk to them, I do work with them all, save for the people who brought their partners. Besides, I haven’t talked to you yet, hence why I’m over here.” 

“Hm, true, true....How come you didn’t bring your little secret crush? Not serious enough for that yet?” 

If only you know, huh? 

You gave a half-hearted shrug, “It’s...complicated.” 

“I see. W-” before she could continue, the alarm on her watch went off, signaling that it was time to exchange gifts. 

Seeing as she was hosting this year (you had hosted last year), she was in charge of pulling every gift from under the tree and giving them to whoever’s name was on them, that person then trying to guess who bought their gift. 

You didn’t get anything. 

There’s no way you couldn’t have been chosen. And no one else had gotten their gift from Sevika. 

With everyone else focused on their gifts, she pulled you aside into the kitchen, once again fdgety and nervous, “So...” 

“So?” 

“About your gift....before I....before I give it to you...I have to say a couple of things....” 

“Yeah?” 

She looked at you for a few moments, you could see her contemplating in her mind what she wanted to say. 

She had spent hours in her mirror rehearsing this moment, yet now that it was here, she couldn’t remember a single word she had wanted to say to you. 

She blinked as your hand came up to cup her cheek, “Huh?” 

You gave a soft chuckle, stroking your thumb over her skin, “I said what’s wrong? You’ve been acting all weird with me all night. You’re nervous. Just tell me, babes, you know I’ll love whatever it is, especially if it’s from you.” 

That did not help her calm down. 

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before looking back to you again, “Okay, so...I know that we’ve been really good friends for....a while now....but lately I’ve been thinking and....I....I like you...you’re nice...and you’ve managed to make 2 years feel more like 20...so...what I’m trying to say is that I....I’m-” 

Your lips pressing to her cheek in a fleeting kiss cut her off as she stared at you baffled, sputtering. 

You giggled again when she couldn’t come up with something to say, pointing above her head, “Sorry, couldn’t help myself.” 

She looked up to find herself standing underneath a sprig of mistletoe. Her cheeks flamed red as she looked away, pulling a small box out of the pocket of her slacks, “Here.” 

You eyed her for a few seconds before opening the box, gasping softly at the necklace inside. 

You knew that necklace anywhere. 

She told you about it the first time you slept over at her place. 

She had drawn up the design years ago, saying she was going to get it made when she fell in love with a girl. 

You were not emotionally prepared for more than a n ‘i like you’ tonight. 

Neither was your makeup when you started crying. 

She looked up worriedly, “You don’t like it....” she mumbled under her breath, sounding so unbelievably hurt. 

“No, Sev....I love it.....I love you.....” 

“You do?” 

You chuckled through your tears, “Yes, you idiot. Who’d you think my secret crush was? I thought you would’ve gotten it when I said ‘she brought me flowers yesterday’, but instead you brought me an even bigger bouquet the next day as if you weren’t the only person that had gotten me flowers.” 

She rolled her eyes, “Look, I just knew that I really, really liked you, and if I had to compete with someone else to show you how I felt, so be it.” 

“You’re cute.” 

“And you look like a drowned rat, stop crying sweets and let me put the damned thing on for you.” 

You rolled your eyes, turning around anyway as she took the dainty necklace to clasp it around your neck. You punched her in the shoulder, “That’s for saying I look like a drowned rat.” 

She took the jab in stride, pulling you closer to her as she lifted your chin with her other hand, “You’re the prettiest little drowned rat I’ve ever seen...” 

You bit your lip, looking away, “You’re gay.” 

“As are you, your point?” 

“My poi-” 

“Look at me when you talk, sweets.” 

She knew what the fuck she was doing. 

Even still, you brought your eyes back to hers, your voice soft as you whispered breathily, “I love you...” 

“I love you too....” 

“So....” 

“So?” 

“What now?” 

She looked back up to the mistletoe above her head, pulling you forward so that it was over you now, “I show you how to actually kiss under the mistletoe.” 

Kissing Sevika was instantly your new favorite thing. 

She tastes like bourbon and cigar smoke with a hint of cinnamon. 

Her hands went straight to your hips, pulling you flush against her, her lips were surprisingly really soft- you had yourself to thank for that for helping her “discover” lip balm- sucking you in and drawing all the air from your lungs. 

You had a giddy almost drunken smile as she smirked down at you, “I think that may be my new favorite tradition.” 

🤎©️ All work belongs to sexysapphicshopowner. Do not use or repost my content in any way without my consent or permission. Thank you! 🤎

🤎 Taglist 🤎:

@certainlynotasimp @trafalgardvivi @love-sugarr

[squanchys-standup]

ts leaving Joe CHEATING ON HIM and writing songs about it for being depressed is so gross fucking god. I have depression, and when I have deprresssive episodes (I'm a teen, for context) I do my best to hide it, but I am extremely unsocial and numb, and my gf does her best to help me (we actually both have depression) and I don't know how I would have survived otherwise. Joe desrves so much better.

i feel so bad for joe.

(i’m hoping to watch kinds of kindness soon which has him in it. i’ve never seen anything else with him before)

joe has been so mature throughout all of it. when the breakup “leaked” ig you could say. he knew he’d start getting lots of media attention from swifties. so the only thing he would post was palestine fundraisers.

meanwhile taylor was lamenting, even tho she was already now with someone else??

taylor made herself the victim while she was cheating on a man’s who’s biggest fault was a chemical imbalance.

taylor’s also like a serial cheater and nobody talks about that.

i have depression as well, we’re in this together

xx

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

I keep coming back to the Gale&Gwen regency au I read from you and can't get it out of my head aidnajdiakkd any stray headcannons from that? I know next to nothing about this kind of au but those two have bewitched me body and soul

Also, I don't know if you answered this already but– Why Clara? I'm curious cause it's very close to my own name and I find it very very cute lol

Thank you so much! I feel like whenever I make a headcanons most people read and forget them. I'm so happy to hear you enjoy it! And yeah, I've got a few things more up my sleeve. Admittedly though, these are more just notes to myself on how to properly structure this if I ever do write it. (Or scrub the serial numbers off to make it something original. Lol)

Gale x Gwen (Single Mom!Tav) Regency AU (for context)

I've been thinking about it more (and doing some more research) and I do think the only way this resolves in a way that doesn't feel like a total dues ex machina is if Gwen's husband was previously married

Obviously messier than if he just dies, but I think that works better for a novel like Tenant of Wildfel Hall than what I'm going for here and modern sensibilities in general

At the very least, Clara wouldn't be considered a bastard since Gwen would have entered the marriage state under the presumption she was actually married to him

Plus, this can pull Astarion into the plot more as a side character, actively using that law degree and time on the shadier side of London to do some more digging to help Gwen get out of this

Gale too can have a hand in helping Gwen find something to allow her to leave her husband

Also debating if Gale proposes dueling Gwen's husband as a parallel to his duel with Mystra

Gwen is obviously opposed to this as duel are illegal in England at this point and Gale would be charged with murder at best and die at worst

Gale sees it as something noble, but Gwen argues there is nothing noble about dying. Not to mention, it rather defeats the purpose of her wanting to be free from her husband not just for her own sake, but to be with Gale.

Gale's redemption comes from putting his ego aside and actually listening to what his love is asking him to do

Gwen also needs to learn to rely on and put her faith in others, not just Gale, but her friends who wish to support her

On a lighter note, Gale has absolutely read all of Gwen's rather risque novels and while they may be looked down upon by some of his peers, he will defend their merits

Of course once he realizes Gwen actually wrote them, there are some scenes he can't help but look at in a different light

Gwen doesn't make a lot of money off her writing, but it's enough to scape by a living considering how little she can rely on her husband

I'm also so soft thinking about Clara coming over to visit and Gale absolutely doting on her, letting her to wild in the library

Gwen is obviously there to observe, ensuring Clara remember her manners, but also feeling this sense of relief at seeing Clara so relaxed

Morena would also want to take the opportunity to get to know Gwen, distracting her with kind, witty conversation so she can actually relax knowing Clara is being looked after

And that's not even touching how Morena would encourage Clara to actually join the conversation at dinner and listen to her rambles just as she did Gale's when he was a boy

Morena would also pick up on her son's feelings immidiately and while she cannot condone cheating and doesn't want to see her son hurt, she also sees how happy Gwen and Clara's very presence makes him

There has to be a ball at some point, or at least a public assembly

Astarion pesters Gwen to go just to get her out of the house and actually meet some people (and give him some quality company while he is *forced* to be in the country)

This, of couse, doesn't help the rumors surrounding him and Gwen considering he put her up in the cottage which only spurs Gale's jealousy

Cue the absolute yearning on this man's face as Gwen dances and Gale is all too aware of his injured leg

At some point he forces himself to push through it and ask her to dance because he can't stand it

Gwen declines, but she also doesn't accept any one else as they remain with each other for the rest of the evening

Also debating if Gwen's husband shows up at some point

He of course has heard the rumors about her and Astarion, but now he starts to hear about her growing friendship with Lord Dekarios, possibly more

I just need a confrontation between him and Gale

This might be the thing to spark Gale and Gwen actually starting an affair

Up to this point they've managed to keep their hands to themselves for the sake of propriety, but a reminder of just how awful Gwen's situation is, is enough for her to want to stick it to her husband and Gale to disregard any sense of obligation towards the marriage state

Tensions are high is what I'm getting at

As for your other question about Clara. I honestly just like the name. No other reason. Lol

If you have specific questions about this AU or thoughts please let me know! I'd love to ramble more about this.

[storieschats]

ACOTAR reactions: ACOTAR grand final leaves only one question: is being in Feyre's head what anyone really wants?

Note: Check out previous reactions here. Feel free to comment, reblog, like and talk to be about books whenever! We have finished the first book everybody!!!

Book 1 Page 419 of 419

What's happened so far: So there were the 3 tests: in the first one she had to kill a worm, dune style, in the 2nd she had to solve a riddle that she only managed with the help of Rhysand with whom she made a deal at the end of the 1st task that she would spend 1 week with him every month in exchange for him healing her from the wounds she got from killing the worm. Then the last task is to kill two innocents plus Tamlin and she realises she can do it because Tamlin has a heart of stone and won't die. So she wins the tasks but doesn't break the curse because loopholes buttt after being tortured for a while she discovers the solution to the riddle and manages to break the curse but dies so to save her, the high lords turn her into a high fae. She and Tamlin return to the mansion. The end!

What I thought: Honestly, it was a strange book for me in terms of whether or not I enjoyed it. I think my highlight was the last session when I was on page 300, these last pages were meh for me I guess. But I think in general it was...ok.  Yes I think in general I liked it.

Positive points:

I had never read anything with fairies or fae before so this was a nice novelty for me! I really liked when weird and unusual fae came into play, the ones that actually make you think of real world mythology.

I really like that point in stories where people are taken into this magical world and learn things and have to adapt so I liked the part where she lives in the mansion and starts to learn more about this whole world that was unknown to her!

Amarantha was a good villain! Rest in hell, my girl!

I liked that Feyre killed those innocents in the last task. Most books would have found a way for the main character not to do the ‘dishonourable’ thing and I liked that this one went against expectations. It took a chance and I think it became better for it.

Negative points:

Feyre makes stupid life decisions and is annoying. Like don't go after the Suriel, Feyre goes after the Suriel, don't go to the festival, she goes to the festival, don't leave, she leaves, don't come back, she comes back. And I think that made me dislike Feyre a bit. Also, I kind of knew the answer to that final enigma, or at least I had a better guess than her for god's sake. I found her a bit insipid too to add to the annoyances... Poor Feyre anyway, she has characteristics I like: she's brave and kinda ruthless, but still not my most beloved character.

Tamlin has spent the whole book being a nice person and I'm 99.9% sure he's going to do a 180° in the next book which is annoying me beforehand because he gives 0 indication of having some horrible hidden personality trait in this book. I wish romance books could be ‘and well I found out at the end of it all, that when our lives weren't in danger I didn't like him that much so it was off to the other guy I liked better’ instead of ‘and then I found out he was a controlling serial killer who probably cheated on me and so my only option is the other guy’ ugh.

Final Star Rating: ⭐⭐⭐ I think it just about reaches 3 stars for me

Predictions and final thoughts: Obviously, Tamlin is going to be horrible in the next book and she's going to fall in love with Rhysand in those weeks that she lives with him. The next villain should be King What's-his-name who wants to reclaim the human kingdoms.

The book says that Amarantha dies and it even shows her body and everything but it's fantasy so who knows.

The deal was a bit weird just because why? Why force her to go there with us if we are not the bad guy. Also I had heard of the lap dance while drugged scene on the internet and I didn't know it was in this book/series but honestly with the context it's not.....very..... horrible. Like I think I realise what he was doing... I think.

[minthe-lover]

Polyamory in lore olympus

okay! so you know how I'm a desperate bitch for poly rep... guess I needed to add the word good in front of that cause this shit isn't it.

So one thing that I just need to say.. is I'm confused where the fuck rs is doing her research, cause a polyamorous 'pod' isn't a very common term and has the exact same meaning as polycule. Cause rs has proven to not be one to actually do alot of research, so it feels weird that she used a term like that.

Now another thing is that Poseidon wasn't polyamorous before... I could only really find two thing that point towards that. The first being a joke about him looking a second wife.. which in context is clearly just him using it to edge on hades... and it's never mentioned again.

That and the end of season 2, with the one panel of a bunch of people including Amphitrite hugging Poseidon... I assumed this was just his children. I really don't dislike Poseidon being poly I think it could've been really good rep but rs either did have him being poly since the beginning and just never actually put any thought or time into saying it... or added it after the fact to lampshade and earn more points for being inclusive.

You know what.. it may be the first... but given that we have Persephone saying the identical line as leuce.. and Hades just.. didn't correct her? like come on hades I know your a horny fucker but also Poseidon is now someone whos being actively bigoted against whenever someone saying he's a cheater.. and you don't stand up for him if the person is making you horny? Also it just retroactively makes all the bitching that hades does about his brother cheating gross... cause hades is now basically blaming Poseidon for how OTHER people wrongfully view his poly relationships.

Now something that just really piss me off.. is that this is being confirmed by hades just saying he's poly.. besides one panel of him hugging his partners, we haven't actually seen him being polyamorous. Why was does he still only have one wife, why haven't we seen any of these other partners... and why aren't we learning this from Poseidon himself.

It just... annoys me, am I supposed to applaud at the fact that hades said the word polyamous? We just have Poseidon, Amphitrite and then bunch of nameless and basically faceless people... it just feels so half assed. You just had a wedding scenes.. have Poseidon and his partners be together during that.. have him mention his partners while they did the dumb best man bit. Like have us learn that Poseidon picked hades as his best man over zeus multiple times.. that would be a sort of funny way to learn about it.

Just a little bit more... it wouldn't be that difficult. It really fucking hurt when you have like four separate hetero-normative monogamous relationships that you give so much time and thought into but any level of queer relationship is completely fucking ignored. It's so fucking clear that these are just here to make this comic look more progressive when it just fucking isn't.

Like rs you went out of your way to make Athena and Hestia gay and then just never actually did anything with it... And now Poseidon is the same. You have multiple kinda unnecessary chapters learning about how Aphrodite and Hephaestus got together just so we can have the name drop of Kassandra really... But you don't have at least one chapter actually about either of the queer relationships in this comic.

Also I just think it's important to talk about Zeus with this. I've seen alot of fans say that Zeus is polyamorous because hes a serial cheater.. which is just a wonderful unproblematic stereotype/s. While I don't see as much of that directed at poseiden... he's very much repeatedly labeled as a cheater by the story, so again either rs planned for him to be a poly character and decided it would be... funny? if he was unchallengedly called a cheater repeatedly.. or again Rs retroactively made all the characters that call him a cheater just assholes and also decided it would be best to pick a cheater to be the polyam character.

This really just leaves a bad taste in my mouth, cause polyamorous people have so little representation and most of it is pretty shitty or stereotypical and lore olympus a story so focused on monogamous romances had a great chance to actually make something good... christ one chapter of just Poseiden and his relationship could be enough to make it good. Instead we have a character repeatedly labeled a cheater and then have someone else tell us he's actually poly.

[joesalw]

I saw some swifties speculate that Joe was cheating on Taylor because of her songs on folklore and some of her lyrics but if Joe actually cheated on her she’d be making his life more of a living hell, let’s be honest here. Also if we’re going by TS lyrics she’s also a serial cheater but I guess her fandom just likes to look for context in some of her lyrics and not others.

ohhh they will call her girlboss, hot girl shit for cheating on calvin and tom but at the same time they will be sending death threats to joe based on some baseless speculations that he *might've* cheated

[wcrldcfvtlvs]

Life and Blog Updates

Hey guys, just wanted to fill you in on what's been going on with me and tell you guys updates for my blog and characters. I'll talk about the blog/characters first and then move onto my life which is going to be under read more so if you don't wanna read it you don't have to but I like to give context so you guys can understand why activity is so minimal over here.

The Blog/Characters:

I'm changing how I write Rosalie when she's older. She's going to still be nice and approachable on the platonic side of things; however, in terms of romance, she's going to be heavily guarded and very cautious with who she gives her heart to. Meaning: plotting romantic connections is a must.

I recently just changed her lore with my NPC Nathaniel Lee where she was basically used for s*x and was only viewed as an excellent intimate partner. This affected her mentally heavily and caused her to run away from her home to really change and reflect on how she is as a person. Having questions like: Why am I not good enough, Why can't I find a partner will love me for me and not just my body. And that's just putting it simply. I'd really like to explore this side of her, in both platonic and romantic ways. Someone who can help her gain a backbone, some self confidence and even a form of independence.

As for other characters, they'll be the same, but I really wanted to push out information for Rosalie because she's my first OC that I really developed and put all my heart and soul into and I wanted her to be appreciated as such.

My Personal Life:

The emotional fucking roller coaster I have been on this fucking month is unbelievable and I will tell you right now, IF I GO THROUGH ANYMORE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT, I'M GOING TO BECOME A VILLIAN AND MAKE IT EVERYONE'S PROBLEM. HELL WILL RISE, THE SKYS WILL RAIN BLOOD AND THE SEAS WILL OVER TAKE THE LAND. I'M SO FUCKING SICK OF EMOTIONAL DISTRESS.

Anywaaayy, now that's over. Let's get into what the FUCK I've been dealing with, grab your popcorn, drinks, snacks and silence your cell phones because MAN OH MAN, DO I HAVE LORE.

I recently had to have a very heavy conversation with one of my irl best friends. He hurt me more than any person has. I had to address some things and explain boundaries. I'm waiting for him to talk to me about it. It's been radio silent from him, and I'm very worried that I might lose a friend I've had for over 7+ years, coming up on 10 years. This friend has seen me at my best, lowest, and everything. I want to fix things between us and grow as adults. BUT I CAN'T DO THAT IF HE WON'T TALK TO ME!!! I'm a Taurus; I'm impatient as fuck. I can wait for him, but at the same time, MOTHERFUCKER TALK TO ME.

Moving on.

My boyfriend and I have decided to have a long-distance relationship. Now for those who know me on a personal level, they know the lore about my ex Angel and I. For those who are new? Lemme break it down for ya. I had a relationship with a guy in the Army who won me over, knew everything that happened to me in past relationships and the bitch still decided to break me to the point of me wanting to go back to the lobby.

With my current boyfriend, he has given me so much respect, loyalty, and love that I wanted for years. However, he's joining the US Navy. I'm so proud of him for doing that, bettering his life, and becoming a better man and person. But the same time I'm anxious as fuck because I did long distance with Angel and he did not respect me at all. He ( Angel ), serial cheated on me, manipulated me, gaslit me and was very abusive.

Now, I didn't know Angel before the Army but I know my boyfriend before the Navy and I know people change. Hell I'm a living example of it. My best friends know it, my parents know it, and my extended family knows it. I don't fuck around when it comes to my feelings. To quote Sir J. Cole the third:

" Fool me one time shame on you, Fool me twice, can't put the blame on you Fool me three times, fuck the peace signs, Load the chopper, let it rain on you "

I swear to god y'all. I'm putting a lot of trust into this man. I love him so much, I respect him, BUT ON ME?????? I CAN NOT TAKE ANOTHER HEARTBREAK BEFORE I LITERALLY GET VIOLENT. ( disclaimer: I will not get violent, I will just be utterly destroyed and I'll probably become an old lady who lives with a bunch of dogs and reads romance novels to fill a void ).

Anyway, we had a very long conversation, and I decided to commit to a very long distance relationship and have the end goal be that we get married. I'm not actually worried about him, I'm more worried about people who won't respect our relationship and will try to come between us. I trust him, I don't trust other women and men who are in the military. I've lived that life, I know how disrespectfully can be. Hell my own mentor walked a very dangerous line when we were stationed in Korea and now he's no longer married. His wife doesn't live with him, they don't talk and it was all because of his actions in another continent/country. SO yeah, I'M VERY WORRIED.

But yeah, that's where my mind has been, that's what has been going on. And it felt only right to share because I like to give context and assurance that I'm not in the void and going ghost. On the upside :') I'm starting school next week, so activity will be slower because I really wanna focus on classes and raise up my GPA so I can take remote classes and hopefully start working again so I won't be broke city.

[willothewispwisteriadawn]

I WISH BORIS HAD BEEN THE ANTAGONIST OF THE GOLDFINCH

Okay Boris Pavlikovsky take based on people requesting it from this post where I said I’m like 90% sure my take on him is 🔥, meaning I could tell immediately he’d be popular as hell and yet he’s the subject of my biggest critique of the novel.

The short:

I’m extremely mixed on Boris and was for most of the book, especially at the end. His usage within the story just was an odd roller coaster. Now, I think I’d summarize it this way— I wish Boris had just been treated as an incredibly nuanced antagonist. I get that Donna Tartt books don’t fully deal in hero-villain terms but let me explain!! He would have been very heartbreaking, compelling, and unique as an actual antagonist.

The long:

I want to like Boris a lot because of his positive qualities. His dialogue is so charmingly good (I was so impressed by Tartt’s writing of someone who is speaking a second/third language and may write a whole post on that). Boris is also characterized by gratitude and loyalty to the people who’ve done right by him such as Theo, the folks from his backstory such as Judy and the Muslim preachers, and his guys— Cherry, Shirley, Gyuri. He recognizes kindness and responds to it in a way that is just so likable. He even cries when he thinks of his betrayal of Theo and says that he can’t stand what he did, knowing that Theo was only ever generous and good to him. Finally, Boris was a good foil to Theo, optimism vs dread. Boris’s optimism and love did save Theo at points, and it provides a very believable basis for their friendship.

But my problem is that Boris’s flaws were a little TOO big to have been so under-commented on. His vices crossed from palatable things to things that you really can’t take lightly, at least as lightly as I think this story did at the end. To summarize some things: 1) Boris beat his girlfriend (and casually assumed Theo had beaten Pippa) and is of the opinion that this is sad but necessary since sometimes “women deserve it.” 2) He is a serial cheater who rarely visits his wife and his own babies but has a girlfriend in Antwerp and is implied to buy escorts/prostitutes fairly regularly, which is further unconscionable since the reason he hurt Kotku was that she was potentially cheating on him! 3) Boris has ruined and ended countless lives. Anyone who runs a cartel has. But he was also introducing the kids at his school to drugs since they were too nervous to deal with adults. And maybe it’s because I know someone who died by a heroin overdose, but I just saw Boris as a indirect murderer throughout the book. He is against direct, cold-blooded murder, sure. But there comes a point where you have to take the domino-effect implications of your own actions seriously. It’s not even just the cartel. It’s minor things that show he doesn’t care about indirectly ending lives. He lost his license from drunk driving, then gave Gyuri cocaine WHILE GYURI WAS DRIVING. So, well, blatant lack of concern towards the lives of everyone else on the road. 4) while he did help Theo in ways, he really ruined him in other ways. The drugs and alcohol. But also getting him accustomed to thievery and sexual activity at a young age (I was pretty disturbed by Boris’s attraction to certain women because they were over the legal age and his way of romanticizing these relationships to Theo. I get this isn’t exactly uncommon talk among teen boys, at a level. But it reached icky too-far points in context. Then we see Theo get in this kind of relationship later, with Julie).

To summarize this: I was thinking that Boris shows that a person can be a good friend without being good for his friend. If that makes sense?

Boris loved Theo, saved his life, spent years planning how to make things up to him— but he was also emblematic of a very bad era of Theo’s. Now, I can love deeply flawed characters. Heck, I loved everyone in The Secret History. But the thing is, I think characters who reach this level of flawed are only fully likable when I can approach them knowing they were indeed wholly lambasted by the text itself. It’s a comfortable place from which to feel empathy.

For Boris… that didn’t come through well to me. It started to at points, for sure. Theo definitely comments on Boris’s flaws. And I think there’s a really dirty sort of filter on the events of the story where Boris is concerned. But to be honest, it wasn’t enough for what this guy was doing. I was most disappointed when Theo started to really get at him in the hotel room, only for the scene to shift into a moment that lifts Boris up. I liked the idea of Theo breaking away from the attitude of his father and of Boris. But then *bam* Goldfinch. Now Boris is all right again. The problem is— while making good from the bad is a great lesson and I agree that even our low points have meaning in a divine scheme— that doesn’t mean our bad actions were good, actually. It’s just that goodness was able to work with what we did. But our wrongs are wrong. Boris returning the painting shows some redemption and that Theo’s woes and miserable life story did have meaning. But Boris’s cheating, drug dealing, thievery, and violence are still evil mistakes. Not good because they worked out.

This return-of-The-Goldfinch moment is further muddied by the fact that Boris had something to gain financially by returning the finch. Now he’s loaded with cash, and that was a motivating factor in the return. I guess the lesson is that good pays and in a much better way than evil. And Boris did learn this. He was so fixated on how to get what he wanted sneakily, by beating the system, that he didn’t consider that he could come out on top by doing good. The lesson may be that good is not without opportunity itself. Still, the moment does swerve from fully critiquing Boris’s wrongs, and he’s never really treated fairly for them in my opinion.

So back to my point. I wish Boris had been just treated as the antagonist of this novel. I think that this would have been an awesome direction and could have happened while keeping his personality in-tact. All the pieces were there but the trigger never pulled.

An antagonist is merely someone stopping a protagonist from getting what he wants or what is good for him. An antagonist doesn’t have to be fully villain-y. It can be a rival sports team, for example. I think Boris would have made a great, very nuanced antagonist with sympathetic intentions. It would have been fun to see him fight so hard for Theo’s good that he doesn’t see that he’s preventing Theo’s redemption. Again, a lot of this IS already in the text, but I wish it all had followed through. I wish that Boris as an antagonist who only wants what’s best for the protagonist was his eventual and clearly stated characterization. It would have been compelling, to me, if the end had been Theo against Boris on the grounds that they both are so certain what’s best for Theo’s life. Boris would not want to be in this position, but is sure he has to be. Honestly?! HE HAS STRONG REASONS FOR THINKING THIS. He watched Theo try to kill himself many times. Imagine how traumatizing that would be, how much you wouldn’t trust your friend because you’re so afraid of losing him.

For a bit, I thought the reason Boris didn’t want to return the Goldfinch had to do with him viewing it as the thing that would fix Theo and mend their relationship. I thought maybe his connection to the thing was that he considered it a panacea like, if it were back in Theo’s hands, they could return to boyhood. I thought maybe he didn’t want to let go of the painting because it represented his own redemption and a happier side of Theo; he’s convinced that if it’s given to the authorities, he’s lost the fight and Theo won’t ever find happiness again. I think the in-book reason for Boris not wanting to return the painting was literally just fear of the cops. But it would have been interesting if he just didn’t have faith that Theo would be okay if it was released.

The end even covers the idea that our hearts are not always something to be trusted. Sometimes the things that you do out of love aren’t good. I do believe Boris got Theo on drugs partially because of love (but also wanting company in his own lifestyle). He didn’t want to see Theo suffering; he felt upset when Theo was sick or in pain. So his answer was to give him ecstasy or vodka or weed or coke so that his friend would relax and smile again. But obviously this isn’t right. It’s very wrong. And is it just me or did the book treat this as an oddly benevolent act? (In fact, it also just seems “generous” when Boris said he was just giving drugs away at school because he liked being liked— but that’s FURTHER basis for a sort of well-meaning antagonist. He’s generous but in awful ways at times. I wish this were commented on as such, as evil born from a good yet disordered heart, rather than just “Boris is generous.”)

I also thought for sure that Boris would have a come-to-Jesus moment where he’s like “maybe this is all wrong,” only for him to be advised against this feeling by Myriam who has a plan for how he can get what he wants for himself and Theo, quick and dirty. Was I the only one who felt Myriam seemed efficient in a Devil-like way? The text really puts demon/snake symbolism on her, and Boris trusts her so much and this isn’t expanded upon. It should have been used!

Bottom line is that some things done in this book are serious. Really serious, not character quirks and they felt a little too casually handled when it came to Boris. The book does seem to go “yes he’s a mess” here and there. But not in a way that rises to the proper level, in my opinion. I do get that he shows there’s good to be found in bad people, and that fate can use broken human beings! But I kind of wish I wasn’t left with a feeling of the book going, “lol Boris, that beautiful scoundrel” when the man in question was a woman-beating, cheating, drug lord.

Like I said, I’m mixed. But I think I’d have loved him if he was just, up front, the affectionate antagonist of the whole novel. I think he would have made a great overarchingly dark figure, whose motivations stem from how close he’s come to losing Theo. That would have better married his positive qualities with his negative ones. It would have combined what we know of him as a selfish, often violent figure with his good intentions. I just want him to be depicted for what he is and let his vices lead up to an actual boiling point— while letting him keep his kind aspects too.

[zalrb]

Dawson, Lucas, Dan: ranking from best to worst with a couple of words on what makes one better or worse than the others.

All three being the pretentious nice guy archetype

The ranking can be about them being a better character or you liking them more. Your choice

(I don't know why I love Dan and despise the other two)

I don't know why when I saw Dan, I thought you meant Dan from OTH and I was like, why would Dan be in this? And then I had to be like OH, they mean Humphrey!

So, this is an interesting question... I think I have to work out how I feel about them first.

The thing about how I view Dawson is that yes, he's insufferable, yes, he's self-centered, yes, he pisses me off but he is the most human character to me out of all three of them? Like, I knew Dawsons in high school (except it was white boys and their music and their guitars and not movies)

Dawson really is that teen boy and he acts like he's fifteen/sixteen/seventeen etc. which actually makes me less hard on him than other characters (and less hard on a lot of the DC characters in general) because I just feel like I'm watching an actual insufferable teenager, like I feel like I'm watching actual growing pains, of course the issue is that Dawson doesn't change.

I also think James Van Der Beek managed to convey something that Chad physically can't do (unless he's across from Sophia) even though Lucas is supposed to have that same quality as Dawson just more brooding

Dan ... oh, Dan. The thing about Dan other than the fact that teenage Zal loved Dan is that he actually has some charisma because Penn is charismatic, that's how come he had to tell everyone in season 1 of You that Joe, the serial killer, is a bad person. It's just Dan's charisma is pretentious, sardonic charisma where Penn's delivery can be very dry but also very funny but also, Dan, you're an ass, and the chip that he does have on his shoulder that comes out in sarcasm actually makes sense in the context of things that he had to put up with in school and from the other characters. Plus he can have self-deprecating humour in at least the delivery if not the actual dialogue

and despite the fact that he is actually a terrible writer, which is one of my favourite things about Gossip Girl, he does love "culture", he does love art and literature and cinema and music in a way that doesn't make me want to punch him in the face. And when we get to see more of that side of him it's in relation to Blair who challenges him about his taste so it actually comes across as less pompous because he's getting shit for it

Of course, the more the series goes on, the worse he gets as a character.

Lucas is ... lmao. Oh, Lucas. So, the thing about Lucas is that he's terrible. LOL. And the show actually does acknowledge his faults to a certain extent except it's not framed as faults with the character, it's framed as mistakes he made

because it's supposed to be the hero's journey of Lucas losing his way and then finding it again so he's fundamentally meant to be this kind and loving and compassionate good person

and it's like, Lucas, you cheated on Brooke with her best friend and when Peyton was like, I really need to protect my friendship with Brooke, you slept with Nicki despite waxing poetic about how much you loved Peyton then you left town without saying bye to Brooke or Peyton and just wrote a cowardly letter, YOU COULDN'T EVEN GIVE THEM TWO SEPARATE LETTERS then you came back to town and started dating Anna who lives next door to Brooke only to realize that you're in love with Brooke who is sleeping with Anna's brother, so you break up with Anna then go over to Brooke's house RIGHT NEXT DOOR to confess your love and then don't and then you do confess FIVE MINUTES BEFORE BROOKE IS LEAVING TOWN then you spend so much time pursuing Brooke and telling her that you love her but then you actually supposedly love Peyton and then you break up with Peyton because she wouldn't marry you, get drunk and try to sleep with Brooke and when that doesn't work, you get engaged to your editor and are actually going to marry this woman even though you're supposedly cosmically in love with Peyton the entire time????? You are a fucking MENACE. LEAVE WOMEN ALONE.

Not to mention the slut shaming and the "I can fix her" attitude and Chad is too... Chad

to be the kind of soulful, brooding, poetic, profound, conflicted hero Lucas is meant to be so he looks disingenuous outside of the sweet/sincere Brucas scenes and a couple of moments with Haley, so Lucas is kind of just like a pedestrian fuck boy and we're supposed to pretend otherwise?? And that makes him hilarious to me but also annoying?

So this is all to say it goes:

Dan

Dawson

Lucas.

[lightofraye]

This is unrelated but... opinions on Ariana Grande?

Hi anon!

Uh.

I...

Um. Like... in what regard?

Her music? She's okay.

Her acting? Meh.

Her voice? STOP DOING THAT UP AND DOWN THING.

Her serial cheating and breaking of marriages? Guh, I wish she'd stop. Can she be single for a few years?

I... need context!

Or was this enough?

[flytohurt]

Hi, sorry if this is a weird question or you've answered it before, but what do you think about all the stuff with Darby and Hawlee? I like Darby but people bring it up all the time and I never know what to think.

i’m sorry this took 400 years to answer. i’ve been trying to find a way to answer it that won’t just cause an eruption of hate in my inbox but honestly it’s gonna happen regardless so whatever lmao

the short version is i think it was a bad relationship that she used for extortion. i’ll explain why under the cut if you’re interested. i know myself & some of my mutuals left twitter to get away from this subject, so this is probably the only time i’ll be responding publicly about it.

to put the extortion claim in context, they trained together & he immediately got booked for bigger indie promotions. by the time she first came out with her claims, he was already signed with AEW & had been on PPV. when she named him over a year later, he was coming off his first championship run & starting to get momentum with Sting. she still hasn’t gotten anywhere in her career, & i think it’s pretty reasonable to say it would hurt to see someone you started out with being so successful if you’re not the kind of person to use that as motivation to better yourself.

Darby also has no known pattern of abuse, there’s no corroboration to her story from anyone who was close with them (not even a vague “yeah i remember how horrible he was to you”), & he was cleared in the internal investigation by TK. the industry as a whole has started taking allegations like that far more seriously post-Benoit so i really don’t believe they would have cleared him if there was any doubt. a still-up-&-coming company can’t afford a hit like that.

this is just speculation but if he really was cleared by text messages or DMs like some have reported, then it’s within reason that she was trying to get him to help her get a push somewhere, & if he said no, probably said she’d retaliate, ruin his career, etc.

on to the SA bit. i would like to be very clear that i am not saying she was outright lying - i wasn’t there & didn’t have any connections to him at the time to know 100% for sure.

however, it’s completely valid to not want to be with someone whose sexual desires don’t line up with yours. Darby is very likely demisexual. he’s been open & forthcoming about needing to really be in love before wanting to have sex, & otherwise it’s not on his radar. that doesn’t really check the box of a sexually violent individual.

i also know from personal experience that what may be interpreted as coercion can be incorrect when you’re emotionally fucked up, & disconnected from your partner. your own mind/body can be just as disconnected & one will be trying to tell you what you may not be consciously aware of yet.

of course this is only my experience but my ex & i had nearly an identical relationship to what she described. he would scream & hit/break things, serial cheated on me, & took out his own frustrations on me. we’d have fights that escalated to physicality on occasion, & i became emotionally abusive back to him as a result of all of that. i would disassociate, shut down completely, & not speak to him for fear of instigating a fight. he would threaten to leave me because we weren’t having sex, would even be physically aggressive about it, but it wasn’t actually about sex.

after well over 5 years of reflection & even talking to him about it recently, he was really just desperate for affection & he considered intimacy to be sexual. my body reacted negatively to him & i misinterpreted what was happening, because my definition of intimacy was different. i no longer wanted physical intimacy because there was no real connection in our relationship anymore. we just didn’t know how to not be together & kept digging ourselves deeper into the hole with the on again/off again pattern instead of just accepting it & finding partners who actually aligned with us.

i don’t like PK but i do think she was right in her response. people change & grow from their mistakes. being the person who was married to him at the time all this came out means she’s the one who’d know him best at this current point of his life. & that’s all that matters in my book.

[fizzigigsimmer]

I might sound like a hater but i think neither Tommy and Carol did anything wrong by hating Nancy and calling her a slut. They were just warning Steve about her being a serial cheating priss and not only he ditched them he didn't listen and look at where it got him...

I understand this feeling. To be fair slut shaming someone so publicly, especially within the context of a small town in the 80s, isn’t cool. Even if Nancy had cheated on Steve it’s hard to quantify the ramifications that would have resulted from having those words painted where the entire town could see. That’s one more thing that really frustrates me about this scene and how the Duffers play it.

These are not just some hurtful words that Tommy scrawled in a bathroom stall, he wrote them on the movie sign where the entire town could see it. And we know it was up there for at least a day. In reality this would have changed Nancy’s entire high school experience. Her mother would have been asked about it at the grocery store. Her father would have been asked about it at work. Everyone at school would be talking about it and they would know that she had cheated on Steve (Because Tommy or Carol would have told them) and that mark of slut would have followed her everywhere she went in Hawkins until the day she left town.

And that’s awful and not something I would wish on anyone in reality. Because while I don’t like how Nancy treated Steve, I don’t expect teenage girls to have it all together. And for this character in particular, I can definitely empathize with the extreme trauma she’s been through. The fact that Nancy made mistakes while figuring out her complicated romantic feelings is not my issue with the character or the show.

My issue is with the shallow writing. It’s just EVERYWHERE but particularly when it comes to the character of Nancy. Tommy calls Nancy out as a “slut” in front of the whole town basically, but other than some initial hurt and embarrassment Nancy doesn’t face any consequences from it. Cause the moment isn’t about Nancy at all. The Duffers don’t care enough about women for that lol. Calling Nancy a slut is abouy Steve, so we can watch Steve litterally clean up his act. Get it? And while Nancy is out there “girl bossing it” and emotionally cheating on the boyfriend she settled for with the guy she’s waiting on to step up, Steve is the only one we see facing consequences.

We’re told that Steve loses his popularity and the figurative “crown” because everyone in school knows that he caught Nancy and Jonathan having a moment in her bedroom and they presume (correctly) that she’s stringing them both along. But they don’t even take the time to fully develop that or do anything interesting with it. They’re too interested in getting to the part where they can humiliate him and beat him up to do much more than tell us, oh yeah people think he “turned bitch” for sticking with Nancy. But Nancy herself is never called out for her behavior. She doesn’t suffer any social consequences that the audience can see. Why would they do that when it would get in the way of her being a Girl Boss? The narrative goes so far out of its way to excuse her actions and frame her romance with Jonathan as romantic and inevitable when really everything she’s doing is juvenile and selfish. But to the Duffers this is just how you write a Boss Babe.

The narrative disconnect between Steve as the Reformed Asshole who must suffer a thousand hits if he’s allowed to live, and Nancy as a Boss Babe who can do no wrong, is actually kind of hilarious. It’s so bad. 😆

And that’s honestly why I don’t like Nancy as a character very much. She was a really shitty girlfriend, and I want better for my faves even if the D-bags don’t lol. In a perfect world Steve would have talked things out with Tommy & Carol, and when Nancy broke his heart Billy would have been there to kiss it better 😉