#for christ's sake bro like get normal

[c0ffeejelly1]

I know where the hole is!..I think.

-Bros the type to let you take control during his first time

Cw: smut smut smut um smut (virgins, like both of y’all soo) fem dom, thats all. (ALL CHARACTERS ARE TIMESKIPPED VERSIONS 🙏🙏 so basically of age.)

* “A-are you sure about this, babe?..”

* He felt like his heart was sinking to the deepest depths of his stomach with each passing moment.

* Is this a heart attack? Is this how it feels? Is he having one right now??!

* He was panicking. How the hell did he get himself into this position??

* “I mean, I don’t want to force you to do anything you might not like..”

* Who was he kidding? He knew damn well you wanted this! But he’d just never...

* “..we could always just..reschedule?”

* Reschedule? Seriously?

* Who the hell says, 'reschedule’ in this type of situation???

* What had he gotten himself into...

* He could practically feel his brain going into overdrive, the stupid word ‘error’ repeating in his mind.

* Why was his heart trying to wrestle its way out of his body?? Did it want him to die?!

* Is this organ failure? He doesn’t want to die!!..

* And the drips—no gallons of cold sweat running down his face like a marathon...

* Is this normal?!? Sweating this much??

* Could you see this? Was his face clammy looking??

* God, he hoped you were blind to his nervousness...

* This was such a stupid idea.

* And all because of his big ass, egotistical, lying, good-for-nothing mouth.

* If only he’d just said the truth to you...

* The truth that he’d never done something like..this.

* Something so intimate..something so deep..something like having-

* “Are you nervous?..”

* His eyes immediately open wide.

* Why were his eyes even closed to begin with?!

* This was so embarrassing..he could feel the blush on his cheeks rise even more as he avoided eye contact with you.

* “M-me?! Noo…not I’m nervous! I-I mean-..nervous I’m not! Ha..so let’s just um..”

* He gulped loudly.

* Are gulps supposed to hurt your throat?

* He’d have to look that up later...

* ..but back to the problem at hand!

* You were getting suspicious, which wasn’t good!

* And his arms remained laying either side of your head—not because he was experienced and knew what he was doing. No.

* only because he needed something to stop himself from collapsing down onto you like a nervous wreck.

* He was shitting himself.

* How was he supposed to do something like this to someone as gorgeous as you?

* And to think you were willing on your back presenting yourself to him in just your underwear...

* The way your bra would cup the two fruitful breasts he had no shame burying his face in, hiding the sinful buds he’d never seen in his life—actually, there was the one time he caught you in the shower, so maybe this wasn’t going to be his first time seeing you so- fuck. He’s getting distracted...

* But then there were your undies that shielded away your most vulnerable parts..and to think, you were giving that to him?.. Him????

* He doesn’t even know what he’s doing, y’know?

* You should know by now that he’s all talk, no action! He can’t touch you!

* The thing is..he’s never actually had sex! Okay?! He admits it!

* It was a lie!

* But you were just talking about how you want your first time to be amazing. He just-…

* He just didn’t want to seem lame to you! I mean, look at you!

* You were so beautiful..and he was just..there?

* And to think you wanted him to- to-..put his D in your P?? He’d probably finish on the spot!

* Just imagine how embarrassing that’d be...

* “Baby..”

* His head perks up at the pet name, his eyes meeting yours.

* “You’ve..never done this before, have you.”

* Fuck.

* Well

* It was good while it lasted, boys.

* He tried his best.

* Now he can finally crawl into a hole and die.

* He can’t lie to you when you look like this! You're practically naked, for Christ's sake! And he was in his boxers and- shit.

* Had a raging hard boner...

* He didn’t know a thing when it came to making women feel good...

* He’d watched sex videos before. Yes, he wasn’t a prude, but still.

* Did he know where exactly the hole was?

* …

* No.

* So how was he supposed to-

* “Lay on your back.”

* “..What.”

* “I said lay on your back.”

* “But then how am I gonna..“

* “I’ll do it.”

* “..y-you’ll wha-“

* How did he get himself into this mess?

* How did the only piece of clothing covering his most precious area end up on the floor?

* How did he find himself covering his mouth with the back of his hand, trying to stop the sinful sounds from escaping his lips..

* How did your mouth feel so good?

* “Ah..f-fuck baby..slow down a little..”

* His chest only moved up and down frantically, his breathing becoming heavier as his hand found a place in your hair. He was falling apart and was so close already...

* The way your tongue would flick at his tip, teasing it as you looked at him for a reaction.

* The way you would suddenly take him whole, causing his back to arch slightly and his head to fall back into the pillow behind him, a stuttery whine leaving his mouth.

* And then there were your hands..the way they would wrap around his cock so nicely, quick strokes being made, and the occasional massage of his balls.

* Fuck it was 'so good..’ as he would say it.

* you sure you were a virgin?

* This doesn’t seem like virgin behaviour to him...

* He was so deep in thought, so dazed that the only thing he could think of was coming undone.

* He felt good..way too good, so good that-

* “Baby!- w-wait..mhf!..ah-..I’m gonna cum..”

* “Y-Your mouth-..fuck..so good..sogoodd..”

* Then you stopped.

* ..why did you stop?

* Did he do something wrong? Why did you just...

* He felt his thoughts come to a halt as he watched you pull off your undies, his eyes wandering down to your..oh wow. You really were going to do this.

* You gently place a hand on his chest, using your other to grip his cock, causing him to suck in a breath at the sudden contact.

* He was sensitive and on the verge of finishing just from a slight touch..it was adorable.

* Your hips ride up above his pelvis just right enough for the lips of your pussy to wet his cock with your juices.

* Were you trying to kill him here?

* All he could do was watch and whine softly as he hoisted himself up with his elbows.

* He wanted to be inside you.

* Wanted you to take him

* Be his first, just as he was about to be yours.

* He needed it badly, and so you gave it to him.

* Sweaty, hot, messily.

* You were so beautiful...

* The way you held your tits from bouncing up and down while riding him, a hand still placed on his chest as your head slightly tilted back from the pleasure you were receiving.

* He was making you feel this good..him.

* He felt so embarrassed with the sounds that were falling from his lips—the whimpers, whines, and moans of your name—all just for you.

*Fuck he loved you.

* He was so in love...

* He couldn’t hold it in anymore. He could feel the coil in his stomach begin to tighten as his cock twitched inside of you.

*He was gonna cum

* And you knew that.

* You both did

* “Y-you’re so..t-tight..fuck.”

* “How do you f-feel this good?”

* “So beautiful..h-how did I ever deserve you?..”

* “Fuck d-dont clench around me like that baby..”

* “I wanna cum for you baby..please..”

* “I’m so glad you were my first time..”

* “D-don’t..say things like that..it’s so dirty..”

* “I-i can’t baby..i-I’m gonna-“

* A wonderful first time for both of you, if you ask me.

Characters I had in mind while writing this

REIGEN (mob psycho 100)

All might, present mic, DENKI, sero (my hero academia)

Hinata, NISHINOYA, KAGEYAMA, yamiguchi, bokuto (haikyuu)

ITTO (genshin impact)

POLNAREFF, mista (JOJO’S bizarre adventures)

Kagami, MIDORIMA (kuroko’s basketball)

Sanemi, HAGANEZUKA (demon slayer)

METAL BAT, king (one punch man)

GOJO (jujustu kaisen)

JEAN, Connie (attack on titan)

LEORIO, kite (hunterxhunter)

ONIZUKA (Great teacher onizuka)

Any character you would like

[toomuchracket]

Atpoaim 2. Im so obsessed with the parts where Matty seems genuine. Let’s discuss… How does GF fit into it all? Maybe it’s her and George that come in at the end, laughing their heads off. Maybe there’s a clip of her sitting next to the closed suitcase, having a casual conversation with Matty inside it, as if she is used to it. Maybe Matty mentions her when talking to that artist about the importance of relationships.

yes to absolutely everything you said - maybe when matty's hand pokes out of the suitcase you're like "you meet jenna ortega at snl ONCE and now you're pretending to be thing? christ" lol. also think you'd be sharing the joint with matty in the bit where he's smoking into the ceiling vent so it's both of you looking panicked when the door goes (that frame actually almost made me piss myself laughing), and he'd be sitting between your legs snuggled into you when they're all singing shania twain and whatever backstage. i also think that on YOUR birthday they release a special episode of atpoaim subtitled like "an alternate perspective" or "reflections of a muse" and it's literally just a whole episode of you!! and a lot of it is just alternate camera angles of the things matty has already done so you're in frame or focus, and you fleabag talk/react to camera in the most self-aware ways. like when he's watching that vid at the start of ep 1, the focus is you with the covers pulled over your head going "for fuck's sake", or his mirror sections are you looking dead at the camera going "me when i'm normal" or "it's giving kendall from succession, no?", or saying "bro thinks he's taylor swift" when matty gets into the suitcase, or doing an "oof" grimace at anything he says that's a bit weird. and then there's like whole sections of just you - maybe you're out on the street and a group of fans spot you and say hi, and you say hi back then once you've passed them you turn to the camera totally deadpan like "it's so fun knowing that some of those people probably want me dead". or like a clip of matty ranting to you about something inane and you're reading a book going "mhmm" "yeah" "uh huh" "agreed" at regular intervals and then mouthing along to whatever he's saying because you've heard it so many times, or one of you making faces when he's trialling song lyrics on you. and like maybe the end is him on the laptop in bed with you lying next to him and you just slam it shut after a few minutes and just drag him to you and the screen fades to black there lol. and people love it! it's fun! <3

[harurio]

guardian ep2 !!!

@oneiro-nautical hell yeah beloved

ah yes. he fell fifty feet off a building but he's climbing out of a bush with a bit of a backache. definitely no secret superhero identity here. very convincing 👍

oh zhao yunlan Suspects.

and zhao yunlan is Right

LI QIAN NOOOO BABY PLEASE DON'T DO THAT okay okay good

god this poor girl.

so now we're cold opening with the are you single. normal heterosexual man conversations between normal heterosexual men. 'you're so talented and considerate you'd be a real catch dude <3_<3 in a bro way of course'

i don't know how much of an effort my man shen wei is making to conceal the overwhelming all-encompassing love radiating from his face whenever he looks at zhao yunlan but if he is making any effort at all it is failing miserably. man's smitten

they're gonna go out on a daaaaaate they're daaaaaaaaating

i ship xiao guo and lao chu. buzzcut and baby. grumpy and sunshine. you agree

i feel so bad for cats in movies they so often look like they really terribly don't want to be where they are

evil guy in the hospital is kinda cute though. but he knocked out baby guo so i don't like him

the combo gaze lift and jaw clench................ look all im saying is shen wei can get it. also i am clearly not alone in this opinion

lmao

on a more serious note. zhao yunlan be nice to her for christ's sake she didn't kill her grandma*

on a less serious note. shen wei looks fine as hell with the wind in his hair

'i'm willing to exchange my life for his.' oh i feel it already that is foreshadowing and i Do Not Like

*or did she

grandma ;-;

ooh it's our old friend mr cloak n dagger who is definitely not shen wei in a bedsheet and a mask no way no sir

holy shit grandma took the sleeping pills so li qian couldn't. that's so fucking sad. damn.

i do like how apparently xiao guo unconsciously gravitates towards lao chu at the slightest provocation. like a kitten imprinting on a grumpy old dog

the waist on shen wei in that suit hot damn

aaand here he is again (mr black cloak)

wish i understood the characters on the gamepieces this mysterious evil guy is playing with while evilly plotting. i feel like there's some symbolism i'm missing

in conclusion: ass ogling? in my bromance cdrama??? it's more likely than you think

[peaky-shelby]

OKAY SO I’VE BEEN MIA BC I JUST FINISHED GRAD SCHOOL AND I DIDN’T HAVE TIME TO READ THE LAST SEVERAL CHAPTERS. I’M BACK AND HOLY SHIIIIIIIIT BRO. 

Okay I’m only going to go into ch 14 for all our sakes lmao. Having Neymar come with Ky to pick Taylor up from the airport is everything that healed my little heart. I know I’ve said it before, but her relationship with Ney is just the most wholesome and I love it. “Man, just kiss already. You can cut the tension with a knife.” She laughed, embarrassed at herself and leaned on Kylian’s shoulder, hiding herself. Like this encapsulates everything I love about this trio. The safety they both feel in being open in front of Ney is just **chefs kiss** to me. Surprising her with Leo, Ramos, and Kimpembe has me squealing like a child, but the real star of the show is Taylor’s reunion with Luna. My god I love this kitty. 

The conversation between her and Verratti was perfectly awkward. Like we know he feels bad about how everything went down and like…he absolutely should and I love that Taylor made him squirm a bit. It’s exactly why I love Taylor as a character-her stubbornness and intensity is both her gift and downfall, but god when she uses it for her benefit it just makes me so happy. 

“What about short term?” he mumbled to her lips, giving it a light bite.“You” she said in a quick breath

OKAY RIP ME WOW. 

I’m conflicted about Galtier’s offer with the youth league. Because on one hand, I love that it would allow her to stay coaching in a sense, be close to Kylian and the rest of the boys, but I also remember how much she hated the whole system of how players are treated. “You can hep us build the foundations” like homie that’s not how this works….but okay. TYPICAL KY GETTING IN HIS HEAD THAT SHE DOESN’T CARE ABOUT HIM. CHRIST ON A STICK KYLIAN GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS. Their argument in the car is easily my favorite bit of writing thus far. It’s so fucking hilarious and on brand for the two of them to confess these big emotions while arguing like this and all while Taylors driving for the first time here lmao. 

“I did not make a pause! My lips are still moving—you cut me off—and for you information it’s the kind of logic that I can find other teams like psg, psg is replaceable—you are not!” she stopped the car abruptly in front of a red light, Kylian moving a little forward. Silence. Just the car sounds filling the emptiness. He looked at her in awe, he wanted to kiss her right there and then.

Like I’m sorry WHAT!!! OW MY HEART I LOVE IT. “psg is replaceable-you are not!” That just causes me goosebumps because it really shows the depth of her feelings. 

They’re finally happy. Like finally. I’m glad she took the job, but I worry that her reservations from the past assistant coach job will resurface and she’ll be unhappy again. ugh. 

Him referring to her has his girlfriend for the first time…oof. She’s better than me because I’m pretty sure my brain would short circuit and an Error 404 message would just pop up lmao. Like they were building new routines together that weren’t involving only their bodies but their hearts too. Domestic fluff like this shit is what I liiiiiiiive for. 

(K about to get sentimental and shit for a sec) Kylian speaking to the medics about her condition…this hit home. As someone who lives with a chronic illness that affects literally every aspect of how I’m supposed to live my life I really connect with Taylor in this capacity. It’s so hard to explain a version of life that is so drastically different than what is considered “normal” to others. I’m sure Kylian is wildly frustrated by her lack of sharing, but when you historically have to be the only one you yourself can rely on for shit, it’s hard to share that burden onto someone else…especially if you love them because you never want to give your shit to someone else. But that’s what she does. That quick little peck and “good to know you want to share it” from Kylian may have seem like such a throw away moment, but as someone who’s lived Taylors experience with this, it means everything. (K done with gross feelings now MOVING ON)

Of course I knew you were going to write Ney getting hurt…but god fucking dammit it hurts. Ney really feels like her family. Her brother. And hearing both Ky and Ney say “I’m tired” in the context they are saying it, I just know it’s breaking her heart. It’s back to the reason she hated the higher ups in the coaching gig again. No respect for the players. But I fear this will  just add fuel to her flame hatred of how these players are being treated. 

“He’s gonna need you.” “I know.” Neymessi going strong. 

Ooooooooooooh apartment conversations happening….I was wondering if I missed the memo of them officially living together but here we go lol. 

AGH HER GRIPE WITH COACHING STAFF COMES UP AGAIN. Taylor thank god you’re telling him the legit ruth and not sugar coating shit….where’s Taylor in real life because homeboy needs to hear this shit. AND SHE’S DONE WITH PSG. I FUCKING KNEW IT. DID I NOT CALL THIS. OH GOD BUT WHAT DOES THAT MEAN FOR THEM?! OH NOOOOO. 

Awwww the key. The keeeeyyyyy. 

The conversation between Ky and Leo is perfect. Truly no notes. We love Uncle Leo in this house. “That part had it’s pleasure, but you can break records anywhere Kylian.” He shrugged, scratching the back of his head “it’s who you break them with that makes it special.”  I feel like this is then counterintuitive to the dilemma…idk yet I haven’t fully formed that thought yet. 

LILY IS THERE. OH MY GOD TAYLOR AND BETH. AHHHH. I love Ky and lily’s dynamic its so stinking cute. I can only imagine how that looked to the others though hahaha. Like some random little girl none of them have ever seen comes crashing into Kylian and he’s like so chill about it. I’m sure they thought he’s like lost his head or something hahaha. Oh interesting dynamic with Ethan and their dad. I’m intimidated by him. Did not expect him to extend that invitation to Taylor and her family…is this just me being suspicious? I’m not fully trusting it yet…

….british phone number….her leaving the youth league job….CHELSEA?! 😳

Okay that’s what I’ve got. God I’ve missed reading this fic and I’ve loved catching up with the past few chapters. Still the best fic I’ve ever read, hand to god. Mkay thats all ILYSM 😘

AAAAAAH I MISSED YOUUUUU

When readers disappear i get so worried they've given up 😭😭😭 I'm so happy you're still here!! YOUR NOTES ARE THE BEST AND YOU ALWAYS TAKE SO MUVH OF YOUR ENERGY IT MAKES ME MELT😭😭😭😭

I hope the final chapter will leave you satisfied 🥺

[romanarose]

Sunshine, Starlight, Sweetheart, Brightside Part 2

Steven Grant X Fem!OC

Masterlist

Fic Summary: Steven meets Sam and they strike up a quick relationship, both kindhearted and loving, they fall fast. But both have a lot going on. Steven had Marc and Moon Knight, and Sam has mental health problems of her own. Slowly, Steven starts to put together pieces of her story as Sam starts to get to know Marc and Jake.

Chapter Summary: Short chapter, Sam and Steven go on their first date <3

Chapter 1 : Chapter 3

Steven Grant X OC, Marc Spector X OC

WARNINGS: Smut, fluff, angst, talk of self-harm, scars, depression, suicide, family issues, abuse, stalking, sexual assault (past and an attempt latter in the fic, not by the Moon Boys of course), canon typical violence. The OC has a lot of *eMoTiOnAl DaMaGe* so like it's heavy. But also, fluffy. Things will get smutty in a few chapters.

REBLOGS HELP A LOT!!

Marc is a bro, we stan a hype man

My AO3 is Romana_rose, my wattpad is Romana7Rose, so if you'd like to follow there, you can! I have one Han Solo/reader smut one shot, a Moon knight song fic, an ongoing Han Solo fic that is gonna be like 40 chapters, and now this

Can you catch the Schitts Creek reference in this chapter?

Call her, or I’m taking the body and calling her myself 

 Marc was chastising Steven through the mirror in the living room “Stop! I’m going to, I just don’t want to be weird. It’s weird to call the next day isn’t it?” Maybe normally, but you already told her about me and moon knight and she didn’t run away so I think we are a little past normal 

“What if I freak her out?” Steven, trust me. She won’t be freaked out. I think she’s really into you.

 “Okay. Okay. I’ll call her”

Steven about had a panic attack listening to the phone ring, the suspense was killing Marc. He was preparing to pick up the pieces.

“Hello?”

“Oh hello, it’s me, uh, it’s Steven”

“Steven with a V! This is a nice surprise!”

Steven and Marc both relaxed “Just Sam! Hi!”

“And I was just wondering if I had to get into another fight to get your attention or if I should just ask you on a date”

Steven panicked, the conversation took a turn he hadn’t rehearsed “Oh, well, I was rather hoping that I could take you on a date…”

Marc swore he heard Sam giggle. Ask what she’s doing tonight But it’s a monday. Just do it “What are you doing tonight?”

“I volunteer with Big Brother Big Sister and tonight is my day with my little sister, but I’m free tomorrow?.”

I can hear her smiling She volunteers? Christ, she’s not going to want to date me, she has no free time as it is just ask her “Would you like to go to dinner with me tomorrow? If you have homework or plans, it’s no big deal-”

“Steven I would love to! I’ll get all my homework done when the kids nap, perks of working at a play school. I’m off at 5, would you be able to come by around 6? I’m sorry if that's too early, I usually go to bed pretty early, if it’s too early maybe we can-”

“6 is perfect, are you sure tomorrow is okay? If you have to be up early, oh god and I kept you awake so late last night” Oh jesus christ, both of you.

“Okay, okay, maybe the Masala Zone? It has good reviews and people say it has lots of vegan options”

“Were you… were looking up vegan restaurants?”

“Uh… yeah, sorry is that weird? That was probably presumptuous of me huh.”

Oh for fucks sake shut up

“No no! I think it's very sweet, actually. Well, I’ll see you at six tomorrow?”

“See you at six, Steven”

The date went, as Steven told his fish later, swimmingly. Steven was head over heals and it seemed Sam felt the same. Normally, Steven would doubt everything he said and over think all her body language, but she seemed just as nervous as him. And she beamed at him, that’s what calmed Stevens fears. She never looked away from him other than nervously looking down at her food when she blushed, but her eyes didn’t wander. She even listened intently when he went on a long tangent about Egypt. It was a long, long tangent. But she continued to look at him like he was the most important person in the world. She even asked questions that showed she had been paying attention. 

When he walked her home, Marc was yelling at him to kiss her, but he couldn’t bring himself to make the first move. He would simply die if he tried to kiss her and she moved away. Or worse, she didn’t want to be kissed and he still kissed her. He wouldn’t be able to forgive himself for that. They got to her doorstep.

Steven took her hand in his and stepped closer “You look really, really beautiful tonight. I mean that.”

Sam dodged her eyes to the floor and smiled from one side of her mouth “Thank you. I think you look amazing.” She met his eyes again “You are very, very handsome” 

Now it was Stevens turn to blush. Kiss her, you idiot

Sam took another step closer and put a hand on his face. With a nervous smile, she moved closer and Steven wrapped a hand around her waist; He pulled her  close as they closed the gap. It was perfect, she was perfect. At first, he was worried that he would smudge her lipstick, but as she deepened the kiss he did too. Feeling bold (in no small part thanks to Marc’s goding), he pressed his tongue through her mouth that she opened to him, and pressed her against the wall of the building. 

Sam put a hand on his chest and Marc mentally thanked Marc for keeping them in shape, despite Steven never so much as running. Very, very, carefully, Steven moved a hand to the small of her back, there he kept it, not wanting to push her. He attempted to put every bit of this moment into his long term memory, he never wanted to forget the taste of her mouth or the feeling of her nails gently scraping along the hairline of his scalp. She gently tugged on his curls, and he inadvertently pulled her closer to him, wanting badly to be closer, free from the multiple layers of clothes required for the winter. He wanted to strip off every garment and tear into her, to feel her nails down his back like they were on his scalp.

When the kiss broke, Steven thought she might be the most beautiful person he had ever seen in his life. 

“Thank you” he whispered

“For what?”

“I was beginning to think I would let this night end without kissing you” He pulled her in for a hug, and Sam thought she might burst into tears. He held her so gently, but with so much passion; it was a juxtaposition of feelings that he somehow worked together. 

“I’d invite you upstairs, but I have a test tomorrow. Can I see you later this week?”

“I would love that” Steven felt like his heart might explode. Despite the cold weather, he felt completely warm. As he walked down the street and almost felt like skipping, he felt like a child. You did it Stevie, you had a successful first date I suppose it was a second date, technically No, last night was hanging out, this was a date. And it went great. She’s beautiful Steven. Oh, isn’t she just stunning? Her hair is the prettiest shade of auburn I think possible. And it’s naturally curly too. You notice that? Today it looked like she straightened it and then curled it but last night it had that natural curl. I suppose that's the red hair. And her eyes are so blue I could look at them all day You were looking at them all day oh god, was I being weird? Don’t second guess yourself. She looked at you like you hung the stars. Relax. It went well. Why are you so supportive all of a sudden? Marc was quiet for a moment Come on, don’t stop talking now. She cares about you. She makes you happy. And that makes me happy. This could be good for both of us. I don’t want to just… take your life Marc. It’s your body, technically. Stop, no. Don’t even worry about that, I told you months ago I would leave you alone, and I haven't exactly done that. I just want you to be able to live your life. I don’t know why we still have the suit but I don’t want whatever is happening to interrupt your life. It’s our life, Marc. Maybe she wants to date both of us. Slow down there buddy, you’re not even her boyfriend yet, officially. Don’t get ahead of yourself. I think that ship sailed.

*************************************

Chapter 1 : Chapter 3

Thank you so much for reading!!

I'm adding this latter, trying to reformat to make it easier to read and I want to say thank you for al the support, I love Sam and her journey and I'm getting close to her stories climax and things are going to get rough for a minuet and going back and rereading the old chapters... oh man, Steven and Sam are just lil babies

[absolutepokemontrash]

The Seven Demon Lords’ Pet Human

So I’m quite fond of the idea that the lesser demons see MC as the brothers’ dumb pet human up until MC is revealed to be a five star badass who can control the brothers on a whim. But Himiko isn’t okay with being referred to as anyone’s “pet”, and after a very bad day, she’s going to let the brothers know that.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Genre: Half Crack Half Fluff

Warning: This story features my MC, who uses she/her pronouns, if that makes you uncomfortable no harm no foul, see you next time

“Just their pet human,”

“Aw, they let their cute widdle pet walk around all by herself~.”

“The brothers’ new pet looks so delicious…”

Himiko Nanami was not one for demeaning nicknames. She had told Luke over and over again that the reason people kept calling him a chihuahua was because he gave them a reaction, but she just couldn’t follow her own advice. A pet… the brothers’ pet… what complete and utter shit.

She had forged pacts with the seven lords of Hell. She had escaped death more times than she could count. On her first day at RAD, she had gouged out a demon’s eye with her headband for trying to eat her. She had walked Cerberus and survived. Himiko was no dainty little pet.

It was a tragedy that some of the demons that wandered the halls of RAD couldn’t see that. Not all the demons were irredeemable anti-human trash, some were quite sweet. But it only took one weird squishy grape to make Himiko refuse to eat the rest of the bowl. That’s how that saying goes, right?

It was supposed to be a good day, it was a Friday for Christ’s sake! But no, the world at large was conspiring to make Himiko’s forehead vein burst.

First period with Satan went normally for the most part, until the two paired up for an assignment and Himiko decided to give Satan a few pats on the head. A few snickers coming from a few rows behind her drew her attention, and right after Satan left to use the bathroom, that’s when she heard it. The first comment of the day.

“Aww, a pet petting her master, how sweet.”

When Satan returned, Himiko was holding a broken pencil.

To her credit, she didn’t dignify those idiots with a response, but their comment managed to burrow its way into her brain and settle there right when she snapped the pencil.

Second period shouldn’t have been so shitty, Himiko had friends in that class. Friends other than the brothers and the other exchange students, but no. Everything sucks in the Devildom.

Paimon had so sweetly offered to share some of his chips with her when he heard she had skipped breakfast. Himiko was in the middle of happily chowing down when some asshole decided to ruin the cute friendship moment.

“Geez Pai, I thought you’d be more responsible than that~.” A demoness a few rows ahead cooed. “Feeding other people’s pets without asking~.”

Paimon choked on the chip he was chewing on while Himiko gave the demoness a bone chilling glare.

“Sh-she’s not- I’m not-”

“How about you mind your own fucking business?”

The demoness only rolled her eyes and turned back to giggling with her friends. It was truly a shame that at least 60% of all the demon ladies in the school were incredibly mean and/or homicidal, a shame for Himiko because she’s a raging bisexual.

With her appetite lost, Himiko forfeited the rest of the chips to Paimon.

Lunch went by as normal as it could have gone. She sat with the brothers as usual and happily watched their antics. When she left the table to throw her trash away was when all hell broke loose.

“-Pet,”

“-Pet…”

“-Pet.”

“-Pet!”

All those damned whispers reached Himiko’s ears and if she had any less patience she would have pulled her hair out and screamed. When she got back to the table, she spent the rest of her lunch period in silence.

What’s worse was that her next class was with Solomon, and the only seat available was next to him. Great…

“Grouchy today, ms. Nanami?”

“Annoying today, mr. Wizard?”

Solomon let out a quiet and carefree laugh and rested his head on his hand. “Oh Himiko, you know I’m always up for being a little annoying.”

Himiko rolled her eyes and tried to pay attention to the teacher. “Whatever…”

Class went on, but Solomon didn’t let up on his quiet pestering.

“Himiiiiii, tell me what’s wrong, I won’t laugh.”

“Go to hell.”

“Poor choice of words, you’re there with me.”

“I hate you.”

“So mean, I’m just trying to help. Solomon the Wise is known for giving great advice!”

Himiko turned and looked at the immortal sorcerer next to her and saw his pitiful attempt at what looked like puppy dog eyes. She rolled her eyes again and turned back to her work.

“I thought you were known for ordering a baby to be sawed in half.”

“Hey!” Solomon huffed, crossing his arms. “The baby did not get sawed in half. The saner of the two women got to keep the baby, I was being smart.”

“Sure, sure.” Himiko couldn’t hold back a bit of a smile. To her own surprise, Himiko began to weigh the pros and cons of actually telling Solomon what was going on. Hm, on one hand, Solomon was the only other human that might possibly understand what Himiko was dealing with, on the other hand, Solomon was a known shifty bastard and could barely be counted as human at this point. In the end, human solidarity won out.

“Solomon,” Himiko began. “Have you ever gotten called a pet before? Like a demon’s pet..?”

Solomon thought for a moment, then shrugged. “Probably. I’ve been alive too long not to have been called every name under the sometimes lack of sun, but I’ve always been more widely known as someone who makes demons into his pets.”

“Mmm, sure.”

“But fret not Himiko, those closest to you know the truth. You’re no pet.”

Not exactly the heaps of comfort Himiko wanted, but at least Solomon answered truthfully and didn’t say anything that would get on her nerves-

“I don’t know why you’re so upset about that nickname though, you’d look amazing in a collar.”

For what happened to poor Solomon right after he said that, let’s just say a palm reader could read Himiko’s future off Solomon’s face.

In fourth period, Himiko had to hold herself back from bitchslapping someone else who decided it would be a good idea to test her. A quick word of advice to anyone in the Devildom who would like to survive an encounter with Himiko, never, ever, fuck with her headband.

“You fiendish demon!” Luke yapped, trying to help get Himiko’s headband back from the nasty awful no good demon who decided to pluck it off her head and hold it out of reach. “Give that back!”

“N’awwwwww, pet buddies!” The taller demon laughed and dangled the headband a little closer. “So cute! Someone get a picture for Devilgram-”

Luke slammed his foot directly into the demon’s kneecap. The demon practically shrieked and doubled over only to be met with Himiko’s knee in his gut. She daintily plucked the headband from his grasp and quickly pulled Luke out of the room.

“Are you okay?” The moment the two were far enough down the hall, Luke began to fuss over Himiko like a tiny nurse. “You didn’t get hurt, did you?”

“No buddy, I’m fine.” Himiko held out her hand for a high five. “Up high,”

Whack!

“Down low,”

Woosh!

“Too slow.”

“Hey!” Luke whined. “No faaaaaiiiiir!”

———————

No one wants their human to be grumpy, especially not the brothers, so when Himiko spent the rest of the time until dinner holed up in her room, they were a tad concerned.

“My human’s all saaaaaaaaad,” Mammon rested his chin on the table and whined. The rest of the brothers sans Asmo were sitting at the table awaiting dinner. “Himiko said she didn’t wanna play the Game of Life, and it’s like, the one game she’s good at…”

“Yeah, she’s been pissy all day.” Belphie added before quietly yawning. “What’d you do, Mammon?”

“Me?!” Mammon sputtered, practically scrambling out of his seat and pointing an accusatory finger at his brothers. “I didn’t do shit! What about you idiots?!”

“Well, let’s look at what we know,” Satan said, waving off Mammon. “During first period we partnered up for a project, I left to use the restroom, then when I came back she looked upset. During lunch when she left, she came back and didn’t speak the rest of the lunch period. Any theories?”

Beel raised his hand, and Satan nodded to him. “Himiko has terrible separation anxiety now, she can’t go too long without us.”

Satan gave Beel a few nods, then turned to the others. “That’s one guess. Anyone else?”

Mammon raised his hand, and Satan promptly ignored him.

“Oi! Pay attention to me!” Mammon stuck his hand in the air and waved harder. “She’s angry because she’s failin’ a class! Every time we’re not distractin’ her, she remembers!”

“I would have heard if she was failing a class.” Lucifer finally piped up from the head of the table, his face was buried in RAD’s newspaper. “You on the other hand, Mammon, are failing three of your four classes this semester.”

Mammon slid back into his seat and scratched the back of his neck. “About thaaaaaat, I need money for uh… for new books n’ pencils n’ shit. That’s why I’m failin’, you’ll lend me money, won’t ya big bro?”

Lucifer didn’t get to respond as Asmo burst into the door of the dining room with a pot of pasta that was almost half his height. “DINNER IS SERVED~!”

As everyone settled in to eat, Himiko finally made her appearance and plopped herself down in her usual seat next to Mammon and helped herself to the pasta with rosé sauce.

“It’s good! It’s good right?” Asmo peppered the group with questions about the food and how good he did. Himiko had to admit, this was damn good pasta. Smooth, creamy, cheesy, all that was missing was garlic bread. In a matter of minutes Himiko had cleared her first bowl and was going in for seconds.

“So Himiko,” Satan said as Himiko continued to shovel pasta into her face at a pace that could rival Beel. “We’ve noticed you’ve been looking a little upset today, care to satiate our curiosity?”

Himiko paused mid bite, which wasn’t doing wonders for her appearance considering she had sauce on the tip of her nose. But still, how sweet of her boys to notice, it made her cold dead little heart swell with love.

“Oh you know, just idiots at school not worth my attention.”

“What have they been saying?” Asmo asked, his voice unusually stiff.

“They’ve been calling me you guys’ pet.” Himiko grumbled. “How ridiculous is that?”

The clattering of forks and the chewing of food halted as the boys went completely silent. Himiko shifted uncomfortably in her chair as she looked around. Had what those demons said been a greater insult to the boys than she-

“Pfff- HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Mammon erupted into laughter and the rest of the brothers followed suit.

“G-Geez,” Belphie snickered, feigning wiping a tear from his eye. “Humans are so sensitive.”

“Excuse me?!” Himiko gripped her fork so hard she was sure it would leave indents.

“I mean, don’t take this the wrong way, Himi,” Levi said between bouts of cackling. “But you are a teeny tiny little normie human surrounded by well… us.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?! That I should just roll over and take it!?” Himiko immediately turned and pointed at Belphie. “Don’t you dare.”

Belphie’s mouth was open to make a comment about Himiko’s poor choice of words, but the pact activated and any words died in his throat. Belphie flipped her off and Himiko returned the gesture.

“Himiko,” Beel was sweet enough to not laugh at Himiko’s predicament. “It’s not that big of a deal. Besides, people love their pets.”

As sweet as Beel thought his words were being, Himiko really wanted to send him to bed without dinner.

“Yes, yes, Beel’s right.” Satan took a deep breath and collected himself after his laughing fit had finally ceased. “It’s nothing to worry about, Himiko. It shouldn’t be bothering you. Just don’t listen.”

Himiko somehow gripped her fork even tighter as she levelled her ice cold glare at Satan. “Thank you so much for demonsplaining how I should deal with and feel about the very human problem of people seeing me as some toy.”

The venom in her words seemed to snap the rest of the table out of their giggly stupor, and Mammon gave Himiko a few pats on the back.

“Ah don’t worry about it, Himiko. I’ll fight any bastard who says anythin’ like that.” Suddenly realizing he hadn’t been a tsundere for five whole minutes, Mammon went red and snatched his hand away. “Ya know, just because you’d probably use the pact and order me to anyway…”

“I’m not a dere~” Levi began to softly sing, Himiko perked up and grabbed Mammon’s cheek.

“A tsun-tsundere~”

“Not that song again!”

That should have been the end of that whole debacle. Himiko’s decent mood had been restored and all was well! The gang chatted amicably for the rest of dinner. Himiko made sure to heap loads of praise on Asmo for his amazing pasta. She felt a part of her die when she went in for fourths and the spoon scraped the bottom of the pot.

Too bad nothing ever goes smoothly in the Devildom.

Since it was Asmo’s night to cook, it was Himiko’s night to do dishes, so she got up and began to clear the table. As she began to collect the unused knives, Lucifer, not looking up from his newspaper, handed Himiko his plate.

“Thank you, pet, that’ll be all.”

Himiko stopped dead in her tracks and her grip on the plate tightened. “Repeat that, Lucifer?”

“Thank you, pet, that’ll be all.”

A tiny smirk spread across Lucifer’s face, which only served to make Himiko’s blood boil. If he thought he could make a joke about that while she was still mad he had another thing coming.

As quick as a flash, she had whipped the plate straight at the ground, shattering it into dozens of tiny pieces, before Lucifer even had a chance to say anything, Himiko was standing in front of him with a frigid glare on her face.

“Lucifer, put your hand flat on the table and spread your fingers. Keep quiet.”

With no choice but to obey, Lucifer slapped his hand down on the dining table, though, the glare he was giving her wasn’t any less murderous. Not caring, Himiko’s gaze remained cold and calculating, she turned to the other brothers, who were rooted in place from sheer shock. “Stay.”

“I’d just like to get something out there to you seven,” Himiko said calmly, holding one of the knives in her right hand and waving it around like it was the most casual thing in the universe. “I, am no one’s pet,”

Himiko turned and slammed the knife right between Lucifer’s middle and index fingers, imbedding it deep in the table.

“Arm candy,”

The second knife was slammed right in between Lucifer’s middle and pointer finger.

“Or accessory.”

The final knife went between his index and pinkie finger. Himiko’s next words were slow and deliberate as she stared the strongest of the brothers directly in the eyes.

“I am your friend, and equal, I won’t accept being anything less, whether it’s a joke, or not. You agreed to those terms the day we made our pact, didn’t we Lucifer? Have you changed your mind?”

It was so quiet you could hear Henry 2.0 swimming around in Levi’s room upstairs. No one dared to breathe as the seconds ticked past.

Finally, Lucifer responded, his voice tinged with exasperation. “No Himiko, I haven’t.”

“Good,” A small triumphant smile appeared on Himiko’s face as she removed the knives from the table and finished up cleaning the table. “That goes for the rest of you boys too, got it?”

“Y-yeah…”

“Mhm.”

“Yes…”

As Himiko walked into the kitchen to do everyone’s dishes, they quietly reminded themselves exactly who they were dealing with. Himiko Nanami was no dainty little human, no no no, she was the one master to rule them all, and by god was she going to make sure no one ever forgot.

——————

AAAAAAAA THIS WAS SO FUN TO WRITE!!!! I really need to write more stuff with Himiko! Inspiration struck at like… 10 this morning and I just ran with it.

Now on one hand, I can see that people might think that Himiko overreacted to Lucifer’s little joke a tad. Buuuuuuuuuuut she’s gotta shut down that shit early, right? She doesn’t want “pet” to be the next “chihuahua”.

Lucifer’s probably trying to stick his nose back in his newspaper as he wonders whether he’s incredibly enraged or unbelievably turned on.

Hope you all enjoyed! Now back to the regularly scheduled shitposting.

[thismustbefakeme]

I Want To Hold You Hand (Part 3)

Summary: The morning after your first date with Bucky.

A knock at your door sent you rolling off the couch and onto the floor with a yelp. Lifting up onto your forearms you stared bleary eyed at the offending slab of wood.

Another knock sounded and you groaned, struggling to untangle yourself from the quilt you had been burrowed under.

When the third string of knocks came, you started to wonder how far away from your new apartment in Washington you’d have to travel to hide a body.

Staggering across the tiny living room like a drunken zombie, you reached the door and yanked it open with a snarl.

“WHAT?”

“Good Morning Sleeping Beauty.”

Your eyes settled on the man in front of you and you blinked blearily up at him. Maybe you were still dreaming, because Sam Wilson was standing at your doorstep with a shit eating grin and two cups of coffee. He lifted his coffee laden hands to your eye level, shaking them gently.

“Did you forget you agreed to go jogging with me?” He asked.

“Uh….yea I figured my currently appearance would have clued you in Bird Boy.” You snapped grabbing one of the coffees without asking which was meant for you and taking a large gulp. The heat burned your throat but the caffeine would help you clear your still sleep addled brain.

"That's Captain Bird Boy to you."

Sam, as usual, was nonplussed by your attitude. He sauntered into your apartment as you stepped aside to give him room to enter and made himself at home on your couch.

“Just give me a minute to get changed and I’ll be ready to go.” You mumbled drinking more of the scalding liquid and began to make your way to your bedroom.

“Had a little too much fun on your Date with Buck-nasty I see.” Sam crooned from behind you.

You skidded to a halt on the hardwood floors and spun to face him with an angry finger pointed his way.

“Don’t make me pour my coffee on you.”

Sam laughed loudly raising his hands in mock surrender, “Calm down, Sparkles. I’m only teasing.”

You felt your face heat as the nickname he had given you left his lips. One drunken rant about how much you wished having glittery skin like Edward Cullen was a thing and it had stuck.

But that reminded you-

“YOU TOLD BUCKY ABOUT TWILIGHT!”

Sam’s laughter made you stomp your foot like a petulant child, you downed the rest of your coffee and detoured to the kitchen to dispose of the cup.

“That wasn’t cool Sam. That breaks like several laws of the bro code.”

“He wanted to know what your interests were so he could have something to talk to you about. What else was I supposed to say?”

Your inner romantic swooned at the realization that Bucky had gone to Sam for topics of conversation, but you quickly stuffed her back where she belonged and all but growled out the next words.

“I dunno, something NORMAL Samuel. Like maybe my history with the former SHIELD or skills we have in common. Maybe tell him about my excellent cooking skills or that I’m a cat person for christ sake!”

“He can find all that out on his own time. You never would have told him about those films, it was my civic duty. How else would he understand your codename?”

“CODENAME!?” You snapped, horrified.

The shit eating grin that spread across the mans face made your blood boil. You stalked back towards him, stopping with your hands braced on the back of the couch.

“You did not.”

“I absolutely did.”

“You did NOT.”

“I really did.”

You could NOT kill Captain America. You could NOT kill Captain America. You could NOT kill Captain America.

“I hate you.” You bit out.

“You love me!”

You scoffed and turned on your heel and practically ran to your room. You were hoping a few minutes of chill time would keep you from breaking several laws and most likely committing treason by murdering the new symbol of America.

As you dug through your dresser for a pair of leggings and a sports bra your phone started ringing, the vibration setting causing it to slide across the bedside table. You grabbed it before it could drop to the ground.

“Hello?”

“Morning Doll.”

Dark mood instantly lifting at the sound of Bucky Barnes’ smooth voice, you smiled as you traded your sleep shirt and shorts for your work out clothes. You kept the phone perched between your shoulder and ear as you worked to get ready for your run.

“Morning to you too, Sergeant Barnes.” You said, butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

“Did ya’ sleep well?”

“Like the Dead.”

“That’s good to hear. I wasn’t sure that would be the case after I left ya'.”

An embarrassed giggle escaped you as you remembered snuggling up to him on your couch after getting home from the roller rink. The TV had been turned on, but you would have been unable to say what had been on. You’d been too busy getting lost in more kisses and soft caresses. You had even been fully prepared for things to progress further, but just as you thought you would combust if he didn’t touch you more he pulled back. Your body had been at full attention and you could tell he was similarly affected. But he had just kissed your forehead, said it was getting late, and left shortly after.

You had been so hot and bothered, even the cold shower you had forced yourself into after he had left hadn’t calmed you down. You’d spent some time pacing your apartment, in a towel, trying to convince yourself that showing up at his apartment at 2am begging ‘take me now’ was probably coming on too strong. A sleeping pill had done the trick shortly after.

The man was going to be the death of you for sure.

“I wouldn’t have minded if you had stayed.” You said walking into the bathroom in search of something to tie your hair out of your face.

Bucky chuckled and the sound made you flush, “You deserve more than a first date lay Doll.”

You stopped still at his words and felt your chest warm with affection. No one you had dated had ever said something like that to you before.

Fuck maybe they did things better in the 40’s after all.

“What in hell is taking you so long Sparkles?”

You almost dropped the phone when Sam stepped into the doorway. You glared at his reflection in the mirror.

“Sam is there?” Bucky asked.

“Unfortunately.” You groaned, “I have to go Buck. Forgot I had plans to go running with our 'Fearless Leader'.”

Bucky chuckled softly, “Sure thing Doll.”

“I’ll see you later?” You asked not really wanting to hang up. Sam was wiggling his eyebrows in the mirror and you resisted the urge to kick him.

“Of course. Maybe we could grab dinner tonight?”

“I’d love to!” You blurted swatting Sam away as he tried to lean in to listen to the conversation.

“How about take out at my place? There’s a really good Chinese restaurant nearby.”

“Sound’s great, I’ll come by around 7?”

“That’s good with me, I’ll let you go Doll, I can hear Sam practically flapping his wings.”

Sam let out an OOF as you elbowed him and headed out of your bathroom and back towards your living room in search of your shoes.

“Ok yea. I’ll see you later.”

“Can’t wait.” Bucky replied before disconnecting.

You put your phone in your pocket, and stepped into your shoes trying to ignore Sam’s hovering. Mind racing a million miles an hour thinking about the possibilities of a whole evening in Bucky’s apartment, you felt the anticipation grow in your belly.

“Bucky and Sparkles sitting in a tree-“ Sam started to sing as you made your way to the front door.

You stopped, plastering a fake grin on your face, and opened the door wide. And with a swing of your arm that would have made Vanna White proud you gestured to the Washington streets outside your apartment.

“I’ll give you a five minute head start.” You said simply.

Sam blinked at you, his teasing grin dropping from his face. He searched your face as if he couldn’t figure out if you were serious or not. Certain your face looked slightly psychotic you uttered a final word.

“Run.”

[anthi-tsak]

Yall really see the Mlb fandom be arguing over two scripts that we don’t even know what is happening in those episodes, you’re gonna have Thomas Astruc cursing on Twitter that made me almost die yesterday from the lack of oxygen bc I couldn’t stop laughing. You’ll see toxic 12 year old’s making the fandom more toxic by accusing ladybug and cat noir and that “their show” is being destroyed ( I mean that’s they’re job anyway to make the fandom more toxic let’s be real here). You’ll see hate over two characters that ARE ONLY 14 FOR GOD’S SAKE THEY’RE F KIDS BRUH IMAGINE HAVING THOSE RESPONSIBILITIES IN YOUR TEEN AGE WHEN YOUR MENTAL HEALTH IS GOING DOWNHILL EVERYDAY LIKE BRO STFU. ITS NORMAL FOR THEM TO ACT THAT WAY. LIKE TRY TO UNDERSTAND THEIR FEELINGS.

LIKE FOR REAL CANT YALL JUST BE MATURE FOR A LITTLE AND ENJOY THE ANGST WE’RE GETTING LIKE ISN’T THAT WHAT YOU WANTED? WHAT? IS IT TOO HARD FOR YA AT THE END AND NOW YOU’RE BLAMING THE CHARACTERS FOR WHAT IS HAPPENING? HUH?

Oh yes I of course want to see my favourite characters be happy, of course I want the show to have good development. IM A LADYNOIR STAN JESUS CHRIST. Do you think i didn’t want them to be happy and just get together? But the only thing I get is angst and things turn the other way around?

Like you have to get it in your head that this season started with angst and it’s gonna end with angst and maybe sadness idk you remember the Last attack of Shadowmoth synopsis RIGHT?

Bruh prepare for the angst bc yall’s immature a$$ is not ready for it.

There’s a reason why this is happening. There’s a reason why we have and a season 5 next ( let’s not talk about season 6 and 7) like the show is not ending now, there’s a continuation in this show the season 4 it’s not the end.

I don’t wanna sound rude but at the end this is the truth. If you have any other opinion you can tell me ofc.

Also thanks to those people who are actually trying in this fandom and understand every character and the meaning of the show. Those people deserve a big bravo bc they literally fight over toxicity saying facts and making this fandom a little better everyday.

Thank you if you’re still reading have a nice day and try to avoid toxic people, don’t let them ruin your day<3

[nicknellie]

Anonymous requested: Alex has a really bad day. His anxiety playing up and just things generally going wrong. It’s the end of the day Willie and Alex are having a sleepover and are in bed. Alex breaks down and Willie comforts him.

Okay, I love this so much, thank you for sending it! I really hope I did it justice, I always enjoy writing Alex’s anxiety and supportive Willie. Sorry it’s taken me so long to get around to writing it, life got in the way. Thank you for the request, anon!

TW: anxiety, homophobia

All the Love in the World

From the moment he woke up, Alex knew that it wasn’t going to be a good day. He knew it because he could barely find the strength to open his eyes and when he eventually managed it he wanted nothing more than to close them again, curl in on himself and stay there in bed unmoving for the rest of the day. He knew it because he was exhausted like he hadn’t slept in days, his mind racing to catch up with his body but not quite making it. He knew it because he felt sick to the stomach and his head was buzzing with indescribable tension and nerves.

Alex had days like this sometimes. Days that just didn’t feel worth it. Why should he get out of bed and get on with his day if his head was spinning, his eyes watering, his breathing hitched, his hands shaking? It was a day where his anxiety was needlessly heightened, overpowering from the moment he woke up, a dull ache in the pit of his stomach reminding him to worry. Reminding him that anything and everything had the potential to go wrong. Reminding him that it would feel like his fault.

On days like this, Alex just wanted to stay in bed. He hardly felt like he could move, let alone carry on with his day like there was nothing wrong, suffer through talking to people and put on a brave face. He wanted desperately to pull the bedcovers up over his head and lie there in the dark with nothing but his own company, but he knew he couldn’t. If he tried, his parents would come upstairs and force him out of bed anyway. They’d make him go to school, ignore all the warning signs, tell him to get on with it.

So, with more effort than it should have been, Alex dragged himself from the bed, rubbed his tired eyes, and made himself get on with it.

He opened up his chest of drawers to find something to wear but was quickly reminded that he’d forgotten to do his laundry. He cursed himself, remembering that his mother had told him to bring his clothes down the night before and he hadn’t done it. His alarm clock told him that he definitely didn’t have enough time to put on a wash – he’d have to wear clothes that hadn’t been washed.

Reluctantly, he fished yesterday’s t-shirt and a pair of jeans from his wash-basket. It wasn’t the worst thing in the world, he knew that; he’d only worn each thing once, they weren’t stained or dirty and they didn’t smell bad. He knew that nobody would even bat an eyelid. But the feeling of putting on the slightly crinkled clothes, cold against his skin, made him cringe. It was like he could feel the dirt against his skin, though he knew there wouldn’t be any. There was something painfully uncomfortable about it but he didn’t have a choice.

Feeling itchy all over, an uncomfortable humming sensation spreading through every inch of his body, he opened his bedroom door and he made himself get on with it.

Breakfast was waiting for him in the kitchen, as where the rest of his family. Alex sat down and poured himself a bowl of cereal, his father skimming a newspaper to his right, his mother frying something on the hob, and his little sister Lily wearing more of her cereal than eating it.

“Morning, Alex,” his father said, peering at Alex over the top of his glasses. “You’re up late. What took you so long?”

“Don’t know,” Alex mumbled with a shrug. He kept his eyes on his food, not wanting to engage. If he bothered trying to talk to his parents today he knew it wouldn’t end well.

“What was that?” his father pressed, slapping his hand where it rested against the table. Alex winced and withdrew it into his lap. “Speak up.”

“I just woke up late,” Alex said. He hoped it would be enough to shut his father up, but he knew that was wishful thinking for a day like today.

“Don’t you take that tone with your father,” his mother scolded, not bothering to look at him as she did so. “It’s not his fault that you can’t pull yourself together in the morning. That’s on you, Alex.”

Just like everything else, he thought to himself. It wasn’t a surprise that his parents were being so hard on him – that was pretty much routine by now – and on a normal day he could cope with it. But today didn’t feel like a normal day. Today felt like he could feel everything too much and was completely numb at the same time, like he had a million thoughts whirring through his head but his mind was totally empty, like he was going to cry but didn’t have enough of himself present to make any tears flow. So he just ignored it all because what else could he do?

“You should start running in the mornings, Alex,” his father suggested, folding his newspaper and setting it down, crossing his arms over his chest. Alex could feel his stony eyes boring into his head, but he still didn’t look up. “If you want to keep your place on the cross-country team then you need to start putting some actual effort in. Although I’m surprised they still want someone like you on the team anyway.”

Alex felt tears well up in his eyes. He couldn’t do this today. He couldn’t.

He said nothing, but clearly his dad wasn’t happy with that. “God’s sake, Alex, you’re really going to cry at that? What is this, some pathetic attempt to convince us you really are what you say you are? You think acting like a prissy little girl is going to make us think you’re queer? Christ Almighty, Alex, you’re not. My son is not gay. Man up. You’ll never get anywhere in life if you’re a goddamn emotional wreck.”

He wiped at his eyes, hoping it was discreet, knowing it wasn’t. A quiet sob escaped him but it sounded loud as a scream in the tense silence of the kitchen. He heard his mother tut, his father scrape his chair back and stand up, and even Lily’s giggles subsided as she realised that her big brother was crying.

“I wish I didn’t have to call you my son,” his father said. The disdain in his voice rattled around in Alex’s head, echoing over and over like some cruel broken record. A moment later, the door slammed and Alex was left alone with his mother and sister.

“You know not to upset him, Alex,” his mother told him. “He’s very stressed with work at the moment, he doesn’t need you and your nonsense adding to it.”

“Sorry,” Alex said, voice hoarse. His mother didn’t reply.

He opened his eyes – he didn’t know when he’d closed them, but the light in the kitchen was far too bright when he opened them again and he fought the urge to shut them – and looked out of the kitchen window. It was pouring with rain outside, wind heaving trees this way and that, the clothes hanging on the washing line at risk of blowing away.

“Can I have a lift to school please?” Alex asked. “It’s raining.”

Alex’s mother peered out the window herself, groaned at the drenched laundry on the washing line, then turned back to Alex with a sour look on her face. “If you’d got up on time then maybe I could have taken you. But no – your father’s got to work and I’ve got to get Lily ready for school. Make your own way there.”

“It’s hell out there,” Alex protested weakly.

His mother picked Lily up from her chair, the five-year-old covered in Coco Pops and with a huge smile on her face, looking so unlike her bitter mother that it was hard to believe they were related at all.

“You’ll be fine,” his mother said. “You’re going to hell anyway.”

Without another word, his mother left the room, Lily waving at Alex over her shoulder. Alex hung his head, rubbing his knuckles against his temples, trying to ground himself, trying to think. Maybe he could get a lift from one of his friends, he considered. But his house wasn’t on the way to school for any of them and he didn’t want to annoy them by making them go out of their way to get him. Besides, they’d probably just tell him to walk. It wasn’t like the school was that far away, it was only a little rain. He wasn’t that pathetic, he could handle getting a bit wet. What did it matter?

He shook his head to clear his addled thoughts, finished getting ready for school, found an old coat and headed out into the rain. He just made himself get on with it.

Even though the walk to school was short, it wasn’t made easy by the rain. It blurred most of his vision, soaked any part of him that wasn’t covered by the coat – within three minutes his jeans were plastered to his legs and his face was numb with cold. At one point, a car drove past his and sent an icy puddle spraying up at him like a tidal wave. He spat rainwater out onto the pavement and wished for the rain to subside, just for a little bit. Of course, it didn’t.

When he finally arrived at school, he pulled his coat off and shook out his wet hair like a dog. A group of girls beside him shrieked as the water splashed them, but he didn’t have the energy to apologise. He just made his way to his locker, trying to move quickly as if that would make the day go faster, get it all out of the way.

He arrived at his locker and saw Luke waiting for him there, a bright smile on his face that disappeared as soon as he saw the state Alex was in.

“Bro, you’re a mess,” he said as soon as Alex was close enough to hear him.

“Thanks,” he deadpanned.

“Did you walk here? Dude, it’s practically a storm out there.”

Alex shrugged, trying to play it off like he didn’t care. “So? A little water won’t hurt me.”

“You’re shivering,” Luke pointed out. “And you’re soaked. Dude, you can’t go around in wet clothes all day, you’ll get sick. And you’re a nightmare when you’re sick.”

“It’s fine,” Alex said dismissively. “I might have some sweatpants in my PE kit. I’ll wear those.”

“Why did you walk anyway?” Luke asked, leaning against the locker beside him.

“My parents couldn’t take me.”

Luke’s expression morphed into something Alex was too tired to identify. There was confusion in there, concern, maybe a bit of anger. None of it made sense to Alex though, so he opened up his locker so he’d have somewhere else to look.

“I would have taken you,” Luke said, clapping Alex on the back. The touch made his skin crawl and he squeezed his eyes shut to try and dispel the grim feeling that had settled between his shoulder blades. “You should’ve just called.”

“My house isn’t on the way for you,” Alex pointed out.

“So? You know I would have come for you, Alex, don’t be dumb.”

Alex’s heart sank. Was that what he was? Did Luke really think he was dumb for not calling him? Though Alex was starting to feel a little stupid himself. What had he been thinking? Had he really let his stupid anxieties get to him so much that he’d misjudged his friends so harshly? Maybe he was as stupid as Luke said.

“Alex,” Luke said softly, pulling him back down to Earth. “Don’t get lost in your own head, buddy. Okay? Just go and get changed. You’re fine. I’ll see you in class, bro.”

He headed to the changing rooms, not really paying attention to anything going on around him and hardly remembering the journey once he got there. Hurriedly, he pulled his waterlogged jeans off and tried to brush any lingering water off his legs, but it was impossible. He settled for being a little bit damp and pulled the joggers on. They were a thousand times more comfortable than the jeans, the first bit of good luck he’d had since he woke up. As he left the room, he shoved his hands into his pockets, and felt something in one of them.

It was a small scrap of paper. He didn’t remember putting anything in his pockets, so he pulled it out to inspect it. He recognised the handwriting immediately and for the first time that day a smile tugged at his lips.

I love you!

Willie’s messy scrawl filled most of the page, surrounded by tiny love hearts. He must have slipped it into Alex’s pocket the last time he’d been wearing these joggers. It made Alex’s heart flip, remembering that Willie was somewhere in the school and this note was proof that he loved him. Somewhere nearby, Willie was wandering the halls (or more likely skating through them and being sent to Principal Lessa for it yet again) and Alex would get to see him soon. That, he knew, would brighten even his darkest days.

For a moment or two he let himself be happy. He’d see Willie and everything would feel fine. Willie had that effect on Alex – just one moment together could force any worry out of his mind.

But then he realised that it was a Friday. The one day of the week where his timetable clashed so awfully with Willie’s that they had literally no chance to see each other. They didn’t share a breaktime, they didn’t share lunch, there was no chance they’d even pass each other in the halls. Any hope Alex had held dissipated like air from a burst balloon. He was back to feeling like today just wasn’t worth it.

Without thinking, he pulled his phone out and quickly texted Willie, asking if he could sleep at his house that night. It would be good for a lot of reasons – he would have to spend the evening with his parents, he’d get to hold Willie for as long as he wanted to, and all the day’s stresses would finally leave him and he’d be free. All he had to do was get through the day.

Willie replied quickly, saying of course Alex could sleep over, he’d be looking forward to it. It was something to be happy about, Alex knew. Something for him to look forward to, to be excited by. But his anxiety got to it before his excitement could – what if Willie forgot, what if he changed his mind, what if Alex was somehow made to go home instead? All of a sudden his mind was buzzing again, a thousand possibilities being hauled through one by one, each less likely but more troubling than the last.

Just as he started considering the possibility that Willie had only said yes as some cruel joke, that their whole relationship was built just to embarrass Alex, he knew he had to stop. He knew he had to force himself to concentrate on something else, ignore every curse his brain threw at him. The school bell rang, signalling the first lesson, and Alex made himself get on with it.

School was decidedly not good. In his first lesson, Alex was surprised by a maths exam he’d completely forgotten to study for. His head was swimming the whole time and he only answered four of the questions, leaving the rest blank or filled with scribbles and half-finished equations. In his second lesson, the teacher asked for homework to be handed in, and Alex realised he’d left his on his desk in his bedroom. The teacher threatened him with detention which made Alex’s heart beat so rapidly that he could feel the blood pulsing in his neck. The only reason he got out of it was because it was the first time he’d ever left his homework and luckily the teacher was feeling kind.

But his third lesson was the worst. He arrived with most of the class long before the teacher, and all the other students were so loud. They were laughing and shouting and throwing things around, making so much noise that Alex wanted to clamp his hands over his ears and shut his eyes and stop moving. It was physically painful and he couldn’t take it. Before the teacher had even arrived, Alex was out of his seat and heading as fast as he could to the toilets.

He locked himself in a cubicle, leaned back against the wall and slid down to the floor, hands covering his eyes. His breathing came out in ragged strips, burning his chest. Hot tears were leaking down his cheeks and every time he wiped one away three more replaced it. He couldn’t feel his legs, if he had tried to stand up he knew they wouldn’t have held him. His hands were shaking so violently that he had to press them harder against his face to still them, knowing he’d probably leave a mark. Every time he moved felt like an excruciating amount of effort.

It felt like it would go on forever.

By the time he regained feeling in his legs, his hands stopped shaking, his eyes weren’t watering and his breathing was even, he had missed the entirety of his lesson. He forced himself up from the floor, feeling disgusting as he realised that the floor of a school toilet was probably one of the most unhygienic places on Earth. But he checked himself in the mirror one last time, ignored the receding blotches on his face, and headed to lunch.

The rest of the day passed largely without incident. He wasn’t hungry, so spent most of lunch pushing food around his plate. Julie, Reggie, and Luke gently encouraged him to try and eat something, but they left it alone when he told them he couldn’t. His final lessons dragged on and on, but he comforted himself with the knowledge that soon it would be just him and Willie and he could forget the dreadful day he’d had.

He met Willie at the entrance of the school after his final lesson. The rain had cleared and there was a tiny hint of the sun peeking through the clouds, glinting on the wet pavement. Alex’s heart swelled when he saw Willie waiting for him, skateboard in hand, hair tucked under his helmet, beaming. He walked over to him and didn’t bother saying anything before pulling Willie into the tightest hug he could.

Willie chuckled in his ear, gripping him with just as much force. “Miss me, hotdog?”

Alex could only nod, burying his face into Willie’s hair.

He felt Willie press a gentle kiss to his neck. “I missed you too. But I’m here now. Just us two.”

“Just us two,” Alex echoed.

The further away they walked from the school, the more Alex’s heart lifted. Hand in hand with Willie, he listened to him talk about his day, ranting about the cool stuff he’d learnt in history and showing him photos of the latest project he was working on in his art class.

“Recognise this guy?” Willie asked, swiping onto a picture of a portrait. The guy in the picture was laughing, his head tipped back and his eyes closed, blond hair fallen over his face. The background was dark, dotted with twinkling lights in every colour of the rainbow. Alex felt himself smile, in awe of Willie’s talent, loving him more every second.

“That’s me,” Alex said quietly.

He knew exactly what picture Willie had used as a reference. It had been taken when the two of them had gone to a carnival for the night – Alex had been laughing at Willie, who had somehow managed to get candyfloss all over his face while eating it. The portrait version captured the pure elation and giddiness Alex had been feeling at the time perfectly, better than the actual photograph had managed. He had no idea how Willie could paint the way he did, like the paintbrush was an extension of his arm, natural and easy.

There were no words to describe the way Willie made Alex feel, so he settled for, “I love you.”

Willie blushed daintily and squeezed Alex’s hand, tucking his phone back into his pocket. “I love you too.”

They arrived at Willie’s house soon enough. Luckily for Alex, he kept plenty of clothes at Willie’s as well as a toothbrush and a pair of drumsticks, so he didn’t have to go home and grab anything before coming. The two of them changed into more comfortable clothes (and if Alex stole one of Willie’s hoodies rather than simply using one of the three he kept there, that was his own business) before deciding to be lazy and tuck themselves into Willie’s bed together rather than heading all the way back downstairs.

Alex had planned to try and be fun that evening, for Willie’s sake. He didn’t want to be boring and quiet, letting his bad day get to him when he was with Willie. He wanted to have fun and be fun, not the moping emotional wreck he felt like. But it was easier said than done. Sure, being with Willie had already cheered him up immensely, but when he finally got to rest for a moment he thought he might break. The weight of the day caught up with him, every crushing thing his parents had said, every bitingly cold raindrop, every loud noise in the class he’d skipped. He felt as tired as he had that morning when he’d pulled himself from the bed.

He couldn’t make himself be fun that day.

“What are you thinking about?” Willie asked, running a hand through Alex’s hair. The touch was soothing and soft – it tore down the final remnants of Alex’s resolve.

He cuddled up close to Willie, laid his head on his shoulder, and he cried.

Willie didn’t say anything. He just looped his arms around Alex’s back and held him close. He gently stroked Alex’s hair, rubbed small circles on his back, pressed the occasional soft kiss to the top of his head. That was what Alex loved about Willie – there was never any pressure, Willie would let Alex do what he needed to in his own time. If he needed to cry his eyes out for some impossible amount of time, Willie would let him and he would hold him while it happened.

Eventually he calmed down enough to speak. Releasing the tears had left a hollow feeling in his stomach (though that might have had something to do with the fact he hadn’t eaten since breakfast). He felt guilty, selfish, like he should have just bitten his tongue and kept his emotions inside.

“I’m sorry,” he croaked, throat dry.

“You don’t need to apologise,” Willie told him reassuringly. “I don’t mind. I just want to be here for you.”

“You don’t want me to explain?” Alex asked. Usually when he broke this way people demanded an explanation from him, made him tell them everything he was thinking, forced him to move too quickly and too far. But Willie, of course, was different.

“Only if you want to,” Willie said. Alex propped his chin on Willie’s shoulder, angled so that he could look him in the eye. All he saw was honesty, adoration, care… things he wasn’t used to seeing when he was in such a state. But he knew he could always count on Willie to show him exactly what he needed.

He took a deep breath and slowly he told Willie everything. He told him how he’d felt awful since the moment he had woken up, how his parents had only made it worse, how the rain had dampened his mood, how he’d found Willie’s note but been crushed when he realised he wouldn’t see him. He told him about the failed test, the missed homework, the panic attack in his third lesson, eating nothing at lunch and how he was dreading the next time he had to go home.

And all the while, Willie just listened. He never interrupted, never offered an unhelpful opinion, never told Alex he was being silly. He just listened until Alex was finished.

“Look at me, Alex,” he said then, voice low. Alex did as he said. “None of this is your fault. Please tell me you know that.”

Tears brimmed in his eyes again, but still Alex nodded. He hadn’t known it before, but he believed everything Willie said. It Willie claimed it wasn’t Alex’s fault, then it wasn’t his fault.

“Your bad days will come and go,” he continued, wiping a stray tear away from Alex’s cheek. “But they’ll always be followed by good ones sooner or later. You can stay here with me for as long as you need to and I promise I’ll try and make every day as good as it can possibly be for you. You are loved, Alex.”

Alex sniffled weakly. “I know.”

“Maybe today did suck,” Willie said, “but look at where you are. You made it through. You got through this awful day. You’re still here, Alex, you’re still fighting. You did that all by yourself – I wish you hadn’t had to do it alone, and I’m sorry I wasn’t there, but you did it. I’m so proud of you. You made it, that’s what matters. You made it and I love you.”

Though he didn’t feel like he had a lot of strength left, Alex leaned up and kissed Willie’s cheek gently. He didn’t feel like he could speak, so that was his thank-you. Willie beamed at it, and Alex felt his spirits lift. He laid his head back down on Willie’s shoulder and nestled further into the bed.

“I mean it, Alex,” Willie whispered. “I’m proud that I get to call you my boyfriend.”

Alex had no idea how to reply, so he didn’t. He knew Willie knew that he loved him in return. That night, the two of them fell asleep to the sound of each other’s breathing, wrapped in one another’s arms, holding each other with all the love in the world.

[nocturnal-milk-dud]

Black Lace and Wine

Next

Pairing: Benny ‘Borracho’ Magalon x Reader

Summary: When you accidentally send a nude during a night of heavy drinking.

Rating: R?

Warnings/notes: Alcohol consumption; inebriation; sexual content; swearing; Maurice Compte’s arms; I know nothing about what crime scene technicians really do or what their work schedules are like, that’s not what y’all are here for anyway; listen. i told myself just have it be a oneshot. why are you writing this like it’s going to be more than that? here we fucking are. Benny deserves more fucking content, okay? He deserved more in the movie and he deserves more now. If you’re on the taglist and don’t want to be, or aren’t on the taglist and want to be, let me know.

Word count: 1470

It was a good night. You were out celebrating with your team. The case was closed, the bad guys put away, and you didn’t have to take the witness stand. 

You hadn’t found anyone to go home with which was a bit disappointing, but it wasn’t the end of the world, all you needed to have fun was yourself, anyway. You were feeling yourself that night, giddy and warm from the booze. You put on some sultry music and took off your dress, leaving yourself in a pair of lacy black panties and your knee high boots. You looked yourself up and down in the mirror and smiled at yourself, biting your lip. You felt sexy, you felt good. Maybe it was just the alcohol, the success of the case, but you didn’t care. Life was good, and so were you. You set your phone up and started taking pictures: one straddling a chair, your bare back to the camera, hair pulled over your shoulder, turning your cheek coyly to the camera. The next you had your knees bent up on the chair, arm draped over your chest, eyes cast down demurely. You kept going, all the poses you could think of in every room of your apartment. You drank more, too, cracking open a bottle of red wine. The last one you took was of you lying on your side on the couch, hand playing with the lip of your underwear. You placed your empty wine glass on the kitchen counter and walked back to your bedroom, flipping through the pictures on your phone. Was it the wine talking or were they all amazing? You clumsily unzipped your boots and kicked them off before falling into bed and selected the last photo you took. You tried to edit it, but your phone froze. You should have known better than to keep hitting buttons, you should have just waited. But you kept tapping away at your unresponsive phone, and when it finally did respond, you watched as the screen flashed through all of the selections you had unconsciously made. One of which was to share the picture. You’d never sobered up faster in your life. You sat up in your bed, urging your phone to work faster. Who did you send it to? When you saw the name, you threw your phone away from you and put your head in your hands. You tried to tell yourself that it could have been worse. You could’ve sent it to O’Brien for Christ’s sake, but it didn’t make you feel better. You got up and put a shirt on, suddenly feeling uncomfortable, and tried to settle yourself.

“Okay, bright side: there’s no case right now. You have some paperwork, but you can easily work around their hours, you’ve done it before,” you said to yourself. In fact, you’d always done it. It was actually a suggestion your boss had made when you took the job. She said Nick and his crew got the job done, but they weren’t people you wanted to be around if you wanted to get yours done. She’d said it with such a final tone that you’d taken it more as an order than a suggestion. That separation didn’t exist in the field though, and your work there made you understand her stance on the office work. You didn’t have to report to Nick, but that didn’t stop him from trying to interact with you. You wished it did. Your first day he’d introduced himself, standing too close, smelling of alcohol, cigarette smoke, and cheap cologne. You had made quick work of that conversation, breaking away as soon as you could. That was also the day you met Borracho for the first time. Benny.

“Borracho,” you said, letting the r’s roll over your tongue. “That means ‘drunk’.” 

“Estoy muy borracho,” you muttered to yourself now, hiding your face in your hands. You looked over at your phone where it sat disturbingly silent. Maybe you hadn’t actually sent anything. He would’ve responded if you had, right? You picked up your phone carefully, like it would explode if you jostled it too much, and checked your messages. Yep, there it was. Of all the pictures you took, he got the one with your tits out and your hand almost in your underwear. You let out a feral groan and threw your phone away again, planting your face in a pillow, determined never to show it again. You couldn’t help but wonder why he hadn’t responded to it--of course you were grateful--wait, were you grateful? Which was worse? A response or silence? You couldn’t decide. 

“Maybe he’s asleep like a normal person because it’s two in the morning,” you mumbled into the pillow. You knew that was bullshit, though. It was a Friday night and they’d just closed a successful case. You gasped and sat up on your elbows, eyes wide. Would he show it to the others? No, you decided. They may not be the nicest group of guys but they were better than that. You got ready for bed, deciding you would just ignore the situation, praying it would somehow sort itself out. 

                                           ------------------------------

Borracho was true to his nickname when his phone went off. He fumbled with it and unlocked it to see your photo, and almost choked on his beer. He coughed and sputtered, alcohol dripping down his chin onto his shirt. Borracho set his glass down and wiped himself clean.

“You okay, Borracho?” Connors asked.

“Take it easy, bro,” Z said. Borracho nodded, waving the two of them off. He glanced around him, making sure no one would see over his shoulder, and looked at the picture again.

“Fuck,” he breathed, his eyes sliding over your form, careful not to miss an inch. “Borracho!” Nick called, startling him. He almost dropped his phone on the floor. “You comin’?” 

“Yeah,” he said, tearing his eyes away from your picture and finding his breath again. 

                                           ------------------------------

A week went by. You had almost forgotten about the picture, but there was a voice in the back of your head that nagged at you. Borracho had never responded to it. On the one hand, you were grateful, but was he unimpressed or something? That was a sexy photo, you were sexy...right? Of course you were. If he wasn’t interested, that said nothing about you. It was a week of you arguing back and forth with yourself over your level of desirability. You would see a reflection of yourself in the bathroom mirror or the elevator door and your lips would be pursed tightly, your eyebrows knitted together in a permanent state of confusion. You would rub the wrinkles out from between your eyebrows and unscrew your jaw, remembering all the times your mother would tell you your face would get stuck that way. 

You always arrived at the Sheriff’s Department long after Nick and his crew were gone and you worked into the early hours of the morning, leaving before they arrived. It wasn’t a perfect schedule and neither was theirs, but for the most part it worked. And every day you were grateful when you weren’t called out to another crime scene, but Christ, paperwork was tedious. Tonight was like any other. You pulled into the parking garage as the sun fell low and made your way into the building, heading for the elevator. The door started to close and you caught your face in the reflection, tightened up once again. You worked at it as a hand stopped the door and it slid back, letting Borracho step inside. You moved perhaps a little too far to the side, backing into the corner, gripping your bag tightly in front of you. Borracho nodded to you and pressed the button for his floor, taking his place to wait. Was it just you or was the ride longer? Was it just you or was there less air? He’d seen you naked. Well, almost naked. And he’d said nothing. Were you breathing too loudly? Were you breathing too fast? Was your heart rate normal? Was it always that warm in there? Were your thoughts always that loud? 

“Shut the fuck up,” you whispered to yourself.

“What?” Borracho asked, turning to you. 

“Nothing,” you said, “just left something in my car.” You cleared your throat. 

“Looks like we’re both forgetting things,” he said. “Had to come back for my jacket.” You noticed now that he was wearing a short sleeve button down over a white t-shirt, and you noticed too how the sleeves hugged his arms. Okay, it was definitely too hot in that elevator. The door finally slid open and Borracho started for the hallway. 

“You look good in lace, by the way,” he said over his shoulder. You hoped he didn’t see you drop your bag.

Taglist: @massivecolorspygiant @vanthrefrigeration @madlyhowling @lettherebrelight​ @funtasi @m1sund3rst0od @girlpornparadise​​ @1zashreena1​​

[jubilantwriter]

It All Began with a Big Crash

(AO3)

Summary:  It's the one year anniversary of Boyfriend and Girlfriend's growing relationship, and Boyfriend absolutely, totally, DID NOT forget that today is that special day. And yet, that one single DID NOT FORGETTing leads to a domino effect, resulting in quite possibly one of the best nights of their lives.

After all, what's the point of a performance if no one's having fun during it?

Word Count: 7154

(A/N:  Happy 1st Anniversary of Friday Night Funkin’!  I literally wrote and edited this all in one day.  Got home at midnight, started writing, and then I posted it at 10 am, took a nap, went to work, AND NOW I’M HERE ON TUMBLR :D  Anyway, FNF has been a big comfort for me these past months, so it’s only fitting that I put myself through hell to get this little bit out.  I hope you all enjoy!)

\\\\

Now, Boyfriend isn't a forgetful man.  This thought crosses his mind as he stands up abruptly after paying for his lunch and racing for the door.

"Be-!"

"Eep!"

CRASH .

But sometimes things... slip from his mind, and while he's not one prone to panic, THIS is something worth panicking over.

"-EP.  SHIT.  SORRY!"

"My dishes!"  A blonde server kneels on the ground, surrounded by the clumsy carnage created by Boyfriend inadvertently crashing into her on his rush out.  She glares accusingly at him as the boy jogs in place.  "Again, really?!"

"Sorry, sorry!"  He waves his hands in front of him before looking over his shoulder.  "I'll pay for the dishes and shit uh, later!"  He dashes out the door as she calls out behind him.

"That's what you said LAST time!"

Well, last time he was dirt poor, but now that he's pretty famous around town, he's actually got the moolah to pay for damages!  So yeah, next time!

...Is what he meant to tell her, but he's already busting into the conveniently placed flower shop, panting as he looks around wildly for help.  The florist in question glances at him completely unbothered by his entrance.  

"Forgot an important date again?" she quips, staring back down at her phone as she drapes herself over the counter.

"BAP!" he says defensively, because he DIDN'T forget!  It just... slipped his mind a little.  In his defense, he'd gotten so used to being with Girlfriend that it felt ... normal!  Like they've been together for YEARS and being with her just felt so right, and every day was the greatest day of his life because he had her by his side.  So yeah, maybe the days slipped past him in a blissful sort of way, like when he gets super focused on his music or some arbitrary task, and the hours slip by and suddenly it's the next morning!  It's kind of like that, but with a girl who makes him smile and laugh and forget that life is supposed to be difficult and hard, and not fun and invigorating.  And to think they've only been together for a year...

...A year.

...Wait.

Shit.

SHIT.

He's doing it again!

He bustles over and slaps a fifty on the counter.  "Bop!" he announces in a rush, tapping his fingers impatiently as the florist holds it up to the light. 

With a low whistle, she puts it back on the table.  "Wow, you're really going all out this time, huh?"  Before Boyfriend can respond to her sarcasm, the florist calls out to her partner in the back.  "Flower!  Miku's lil bro is back at it again, dropping a fifty and hoping for the best."

"Again?"  A husky voice makes its way over as a familiar bush of thick hair pops out from beyond the doorway.  "Boyfriend, you should know by now that apology bouquets are at least a hundred."

"Ba- skida- AUGH!  It's not an apology bouquet!"  He stomps his foot, irritated to break out the English but knowing full well it’s a matter that needs clear communication.  So not really a waste of words, just a waste of energy on two ladies who will give him shit regardless of the noise he makes.

"Oh yeah?  What's the occasion?"  The taller florist - Lily, hilariously enough - leans forward with a smirk as Flower keeps her deadpan stare.  

"It's for my anniversary!"  He crosses his arms and harrumphs as Lily whistles again.

"Damn, and you didn't invite us to the wedding?  Harsh."

"No, not that-!  Ugh, you know what I mean."

"Do we?"  Lily and Flower exchange a look before Lily's smirk widens.  "I dunno, you don't give us the dirt anymore.  Remember when you'd come in here all the time, red in the face trying to get apology bouquets for that one boy?  What's his name-"

"Pico," he answers, a bit flustered as the memories rush through his mind before shaking his head, "and he liked them all, by the way!  But this isn't about him-"

"No, it's about your new girl, right?"  Flower cuts in, leaning against the doorway with a bored expression.  "What's her favorite color?  It's not green, is it?"

"It's red, and please can you make it quick?  I dunno when she wants us to meet up, so...!"  He flashes them two thumbs up and is about to bounce, but Lily grabs the collar of his shirt with a chuckle.

"Not so fast, dumbass."  She pulls him back to the counter as he whines pathetically.  "You really think a fifty is enough for an anniversary bouquet?"

Oh no.  He starts to sweat, feeling his wallet tremble in fear.  They're doing it again.  "What do you mean?"

"What do I mean, Flower?"  Lily turns back to the shorter florist as the other makes a thoughtful hum.

"One hundred, at least."

"Yeah, at least one hundo."  Lily holds her hand out.  "C'mon, cough it up, shorty."

This is beyond unreal, but at the same time, it is completely expected from people who teased him relentlessly since he was a kid.  "If it wasn't for Miku, you guys wouldn't even be here!"

"We're only here because of convenience, please."  Lily snorts as the boy continues to struggle.  "So you aiming for an apology bouquet or an anniversary bouquet?"

"Just cut me a deal, please?  For old time's sake?" He clasps his hands together and bats his eyelashes.  "I'm still that cute little kid who used to pretend to be like Miku!  Who could forget good ol' Mikuo?"

"One hundred."  Flower cuts off the potential reminiscing and steps up to the counter.  "Or it's an apology bouquet."

Grumbling miserably, Boyfriend digs around in his pocket and manages to snag something.  He pulls out his hand and counts out four quarters.  Quietly, he puts it on top of the fifty.

Flower and Lily both look at it silently.

"...Well," Flower begins, slowly taking the money, "I did say one hundred."

Roll with it roll with it roll with it-

"Yeah, and uh, four twenty-fives makes one hundred, right?"

"What, are we speaking French now?"  Lily asks with a sneer.

"No," Boyfriend begins, blinking slowly, "pretty sure we're speaking English." 

"Oh my god."  She slaps her hand over Flower's.  "We are not doing this."

"I gave you one hundred," he argues, sweating miserably as he turns up the confidence.  

"He did give us one hundred," Flower agrees.

"You are not giving this to him.  You know he didn't even plan this!  He's too stupid to pull a slick move like that!"

Boyfriend just smiles and gives them a double thumbs up.

"It's not like anyone else is gonna be coming in to give us another job."  Flower hums and stows the money in the register, much to Lily's chagrin.  "And besides, if I get bored making it, I'll just take a nap."

"Flower-!"  Before Lily can protest even more, Flower disappears into the backroom, no doubt to either work on the bouquet or take that nap.  Lily turns back to Boyfriend and glares, jabbing a finger against his chest.  "Be back here in a few hours.  You're taking whatever the hell she makes for you, stingy little bitch."

"That's all I have on my person!"

"We accept credit and debit."

"I have bills to pay."

"You're such a little-!"  Lily makes a strangling gesture with her hands before grabbing and shaking him.  "You better give this girl a helluva anniversary."

"I'm trying!"  He backs up and shoots the tall florist finger guns before vacating the premises.  Okay, one thing down.  Next: chocolates.  Easy-peasy.  What place sells heart-shaped boxes of chocolates and other cutesy, anniversary items?

Boyfriend makes a beeline for the local grocery store and spends only a total of thirty minutes there, making the proud purchase of a box of chocolates, a little teddy bear holding a heart, and even a balloon that says, "I Love You".  Score!  Damn, he's doing great so far.  And it was such a quick purchase!  Maybe Miku's friends could learn a thing or two about making quick sales instead of harassing him over every little thing.

What's next, what's next...

A place for dinner, right!  Girlfriend loves the local bar.  Great food, a nice atmosphere, open mic nights, a server who's familiar with them...

A server that he crashed into and made her drop all those dishes to the floor... like that other time he did it to her and held up the service for a sizable amount of time...

He gulps.  Hm.  She's probably still mad at him too.  But uh, huh.  He's not sure what to do.  Maybe, maybe...

He takes out his phone and dials a familiar number.  It rings only twice before a gruff, annoyed voice answers on the other side.

"I'm busy, the fuck you want?"

Without missing a beat, he gets on his metaphorical hands and knees.  "Pico, can I ask a favor, please please pretty please?"

"Wow, English.  Must be desperate."   There's a loud crash on his end before Pico's voice yells at a pair of playful, young laughter.  "Hey- hey!  Watch it!"

"Pico, so uh, could you-?"

"Hey- give me that!"   More raucous laughter fills the line as Pico sighs.  "Sorry, Bee, don't think I can help ya today.  I was supposed to just watch these two kids 'til Lila came back, but then I got a call from a pal who needs help at her joint and- Skid, Jesus fucking Christ -"   There's some shuffling and a grunt as a playful squeal rings a little too close to the phone.  Pico continues as though nothing happened on his end.  "-and so basically I'm double booked for the night."

"Oh, okay."  He tries not to let the disappointment seep into his voice, but another sigh from Pico suggests that he heard it regardless.  

"Look, I'm real sorry, wish I could help, but a line's formin' and I can only do so much."   Pico grunts and a soft thump is heard.  Two voices chatter away distantly in the background, but Boyfriend focuses solely on Pico.  "Why?  What happened?"

"Well, today's me and Girlfriend's anniversary, and I wanted to take her out but-"

"Can't figure out a place to take her?  C'mon man, you- Jesus, you two, slow down, I'm comin'- you already know one."

"Yeah, the bar but-"

"What, ya worried about 'bout lines or somethin'?  I know it's busy and shit, but I'm sure Serv will get ya guys' a table easy.  It's just you two, you'll be fine."

"Okay, but-"

"Oh my GOD, what the HELL is THAT?!"  

A faint, childish voice answers Pico's horrified question as Boyfriend listens in.  "That's Moloch!"

"...MOLOCH?"

A roar sounds from Pico's side of the phone call.  The voice - uh, Skid, was it? - laughs excitedly.  "Yeah!  He's our friend!"

"He lives in Skid's attic!"

A demonic voice nearly blows out Boyfriend's eardrums.  "GET ME OUT OF HERE!"

"...Does your MOM know about this?!"

"Sorta!  She thinks he's a rat."

"Hey hey HEY, back OFF-!  Sorry, Bee, I'll call ya later!"  

The last thing he hears is another roar before the line hangs up.  Pico will probably be fine - he's handled worse after all, and even Boyfriend's faced off a demon or two!  Maybe three, if that Lemon Man those two kids were friends with counted as well.  Man, demons are just everywhere, huh?

...Speaking of demons.  There’s one demon he really should be focusing on.  Like getting their dinner date set up at her favorite bar in town.  Even though he’s probably on that bar’s shitlist for knocking over their number one employee again .

But Girlfriend really does love going to that bar, and if it's for her...  Fuck it, he'll suck it up and take whatever Server-chan's got against him.  He'll just challenge her to a quick rap battle, win, and THEN they can have a nice dinner!  Yeah, that's what he'll do.  Lily's words replay in his mind as he walks off to his apartment to change into something nicer.

"You better give this girl a helluva anniversary."

Fuck yeah he will.

"Damn, after all these years, you still can't tie a tie."  Lily frets over his outfit as she helps him tidy up a bit.  A colorful ribbon now decorates the box of chocolates, tying it together with the teddy bear with the balloon also tied around its wrist.  He grabs the tied together present after she rolls his sleeves up to his elbow.

"Bouquet?" he asks hopefully as Lily dusts off his shoulders for the hundredth time.  

She huffs and shakes her head, blowing a stray hair out of her face.  "You're lucky Flower didn't take a nap halfway through.  It's her best work so far!  All for the low, low cost of $51, tax not included."

"There's tax?!"  He almost falls over, but Lily grabs him by the collar of his dress shirt.

"Chill out, we'll charge it to Miku's account."

"Oh, thanks."  He swats away her hands when she tries to tuck in the other half of his shirt.  "Fuck off, it's part of my style!"

"What, being sloppy?"

"The ladies love it."

"Your lady deserves better."

"But I'm the best there is!"

"Oh, God," Lily groans as her expression falls into despair.  "Egotism really does run in the family."

"Enough about the family ego," Flower pipes up, her hands full with a large, beautiful bouquet.  "These flowers need to be appreciated."

"Holy shit."  Boyfriend takes the entire bouquet, admiring the reds, pinks, and whites.  There's a smattering of small, lavender flowers here and there, making the other colors pop.  "Roses!" he points out, the only flower he recognizes.

"Yup, and there's also lilies, alstroemeria, and-"

"Don't waste your breath," Lily cuts in, covering Flower's mouth before she can list them all out.  "He won't remember any of the names."

A disappointed sigh escapes Flower, so he gives her the biggest grin he can muster.  "Yo, I still think it's hella bomb to look at.  I really think she'll love it!"

Flower perks up a bit, a small smile forming on her usually stoic face.  "...Cool."

"Alright, get outta here."  Lily shoves him back to the door with a grin.  "You got a hot date, yeah?  Go give her the night of her life!"

"Yeah!"  He waves to the pair before leaving.  "Gonna have a great night at the bar!"

Lily's smile falters as Flower's smile immediately disappears.  "...The what?"

"See ya!"

"Wait, Boyfriend!  You're taking her out to the fucking BAR?!"  

He doesn't have the time to turn back and answer Lily, so he goes along his merry way, bouquet clutched tightly against his chest with the bear.  Hopefully the incident from earlier today has been swept away.  He really doesn't want to have a rap battle with Server-chan, but if he has to...

"Boyfriend!"  A sweet, melodic voice pulls him from his thoughts as he looks over to see his beautiful, wonderful Girlfriend.  Her iconic look now sports a sleek, black jacket reminiscent of her mother's own jacket.  It looks stunning on her, and a soft, longing "beep" escapes him as she giggles and kisses his cheek.  "Hey, hun.  Happy anniversary!"

"Happy anniversary!"  He holds out his gifts for her to take, and he delights in her unabashed joy as she takes them.

"Oh!  This teddy bear is so cute, and these flowers are lovely!"  Another giggle escapes her as she points at the bouquet.  "Roses!"

"That's what I said!"  They both share a laugh before her smile settles into something soft and relaxed.

"Now I wish I got you something too..."  Girlfriend pouts a bit, but he kisses it away with a grin.

"Hey, don't sweat it!  Lemme spoil you for the night instead."  He offers her his arm, and she happily loops hers with his.  They walk into the bar together and are met with a familiar face standing behind a podium.  Despite being the hostess, Cassette Girl keeps her iconic cap on as she notices them and greets them with a lazy smile.

"Wooow," she drawls out, giving Boyfriend a knowing grin.  "Back again so soon?  And after that huge fuss you made."

"Fuss?"  Girlfriend gives Boyfriend a curious look.  

"Uhh, beep bah."

"Didn't tell her about your mishap, huh?"  Cassette Girl raises an eyebrow and shakes her head.  "Well, if you wanted to know, Serv got it figured out.  Called in a favor last minute, and luckily he was nice enough to help out."  

"Sorry about that," he says sheepishly, and Cassette Girl merely shrugs.

"It's whatever.  Not the first time you messed her up real good.  And besides, you're not even the first person to make her crash and burn for a hot minute."  

"Is this still about the fuss you guys are talking about?"  Girlfriend looks between the two as Cassette Girl chuckles.

"Yeah, but don't worry about it.  Lemme take ya to your seats.  Bar or nah?"  

"Nah, it's our anniversary date today!"

"And you guys are spending it here?”  She pauses for a second in thought before shaking her head.  “Alright."  Cassette Girl takes it in stride and seats them near the miniature stage.

"Oh, is it open mic night tonight?"  Girlfriend sits down, already excited for the night as Cassette Girl chuckles and hands them the menus.

"Nah, originally we had a band booked tonight, but their back-up vocalist got injured, so they called it off last minute.  It's gonna be a quiet night instead."

"Aww."  The pout on Girlfriend's face lasts only a second before her smile returns.  "Oh well!  Sometimes quiet is nice too."

"Right you are.  Anyway, your waiter will be with you guys in just a sec, so take your time.  We're not too busy tonight, so feel free to cause more havoc."  She flashes a grin before walking back to her station.  

Girlfriend waves goodbye and turns back to Boyfriend with a smile.  "Cassey is so nice!  I wish we could talk to her more."  

"Maybe we'll catch her on the street one of these days."  He cracks open the menu, perusing the contents before deciding on getting his usual.

"Maybe!  Should I try something new tonight?"

"Wouldn't hurt."

"But I don't know what to get..."

"Maybe we can ask the waiter?"  He looks around for their supposed waiter, but all he sees is an unimpressed Pico standing at their table.  "Oh!  Pico!  You're dressed like a waiter!"

True to his observations, Pico is dressed similarly to Server-chan; a black long sleeved shirt replaces his usual green sweater, and a pair of black slacks replaces his usual beige cargo pants.  The only splash of color on his outfit is the bright orange apron that all servers seem to wear as per uniform, and it absolutely clashes with Pico's own bright, red hair.  

"That's because I am the waiter, dumbass."  The bite from his remark is lost from the tired slump of his shoulders, and the ginger begins to resemble Server-chan with each passing second.  "At least for tonight.  She called me in for a favor, and I agreed to help."

The conversation from earlier today pings in Boyfriend's memory.  "Is this what you meant when you said you were double booked?"

"Yeah.  Told me some blue-haired douchebag steamrolled her on his way out, and she ended up breaking a whole buncha dishes.  She went out to go replace the whole set, so I'm coverin' for the rest of her shift while she takes care of it.  Now that I think about it," Pico fixes him with a stern, knowing glare as Boyfriend shrinks under his sharp eyes, "I kinda already know about a certain blue-haired douchebag."

"I'll pay her back, I promise."  

"You fuckin' better."  Pico looks over to Girlfriend and offers her a tired grin when she waves cheerfully.  "Hey, Red, he treatin' ya well tonight?"

"Yup!  He got me chocolates, a bear, a balloon, AND a bouquet!"

"Really spoilin' ya there."

"Only the best for Gigi, right?"  He nudges Pico playfully, the earlier irritation already melting away from his expression as he rolls his eyes and ruffles Boyfriend's hair.

"Yeah yeah.  Ya guys ready to order?"

Pico takes their orders and departs quickly, the couple watching him disappear somewhere in the bar as their collective thoughts gather on one thing only.

"Mm, Pico should wear uniforms more often, huh?"

"It definitely looks flattering on him."  They both hum before taking sips from the water Pico had set down earlier while taking their orders.  With no ginger to distract them, Girlfriend's attention centers back on Boyfriend as she smiles.  "Thanks for taking me out here for dinner!  I know it's not easy for us to go out on dates since my parents still hover, so I'm really happy that we went out like you planned!"

"Oh yeah, totally."  His easy grin hides the absolute panic he had for the entire half of his day when he realized he had nothing planned.  "I wish I could treat you out for something better, but nothing else is really happening around this time of year-"

"Except for Spooky Month!"  Two voices pipe up out of nowhere as the costumed duo surprise the couple.  

"Oh, goodness, hello!"  She laughs as Skid and, uh, Pump?  Stand by their table looking curious.  "How have you two been?"

"Okay!  Mr. Pico has been babysitting us since Mom's been busy with her work stuff."  Skid bounces on his heels as Pump looks up more calmly.  "We wanted to introduce him to Moloch, but..."

"He didn't like him too much.  He said Moloch is more scary than spooky."  Pump sticks his tongue out and laughs.  "Silly Mr. Pico!  He does not understand that Moloch is our friend!"

"Moloch?"  Girlfriend hums as bobs her head in thought.  "That name sounds familiar.  There was a demon that went missing months ago by that name..."  

"Oh, weird!"

"Moloch came to us months ago too!  But now he stays in Skid's attic."

"It's like a sleepover every day!"

"That sounds like fun!"  She giggles as the kids bounce around her.

Boyfriend watches with a smile before remembering that “double booked” thing that Pico mentioned earlier.  Were these the kids he was watching when Boyfriend called…?  "So why are you guys here?  If Pico is supposed to be babysitting you guys, but is working here instead..."  Boyfriend wonders how Pico manages to balance so many jobs at once.  He himself can barely handle the one!  

"Mr. Pico said that he didn't trust Moloch and wanted us to stay somewhere safer."

"Which is weird, because Moloch is our friend!  But it made him happier, so we came here with him."

"It's boring here, so Pump and I have been teaching lots of people how to spooky dance!"

"Oh?"  Girlfriend indulges them and smiles as they crowd closer to her.  "Can you show me too?"

"You don't know the spooky dance?"

"We should show her!"

"It goes like this!"  The pair of children do a little dance for her, and a happy laugh escapes her as she watches.  Boyfriend leans back and enjoys her happiness as the kids continue to chat with her.

"That looks like fun!"

"You can do it too!"  Skid tugs on her hands, and it's enough to get her to stand up.  "Just hold out your hands like this-"

"-and then you move like this!"  The two of them demonstrate one more time before looking at Girlfriend expectantly.  It takes her a few times, but the kids are surprisingly patient and more than happy to show her as many times as she requests until she gets it right.  The sight of her having so much fun melts his heart, and he sighs as he watches her enjoy herself.  

"Damn, look at you, meltin' into the table."  

Boyfriend nearly slams his face against the table, making Pico guffaw as he puts their meals on the table.  "Dude!"

"What?  Just spittin' facts.  Hey!"  Pico's hands come to rest on his hips as he glares at the kids.  Both Girlfriend and Boyfriend exchange a look, hiding their amused grins behind their hands as Pico takes on his caretaking role.  "Skid, Pump, what did I say 'bout botherin' the customers?"

"Uhh..."  The two kids freeze in place, looking at each other before looking at Pico.  "Don't?"

"And what are you two doin'?"

"Bothering your friends!"  Pump grins as Skid nods in agreement.  "They are not customers, right?"

A puff of a laugh escapes Girlfriend as Boyfriend nudges Pico.  "Yeah dude, we're your friends, not customers.  We should get a de-"

A glare is enough to silence Boyfriend, but Girlfriend's composure quickly falls apart as a fit of giggles escapes her.  Pico ignores her as he focuses his attention on his two charges.  "They're still customers."

"But it's boring here!"

"Yeah, it's too quiet.  You said there'd be music!"

"But there's no music, except for the soft elevator music."

"But that's boring too."

Both boys pout as Pico sighs and massages his temples.  "Look, I didn't know the band would cancel today.  After I'm done here, we can do something fun , okay?"

"Like getting candy?"

"Yeah, like gettin' candy."  The two kids cheer and run off somewhere before Pico can stop them.  "Hey-!"

"Damn, Pico, I didn't think you'd be good with kids."  Boyfriend snickers as he eats a fry, watching as Pico sighs for the umpteenth time.

"You call that bein' good with kids?"

"It's better than I'd ever expect outta you."

"Rude little bitch."  Pico snatches a few fries and chomps on them, ignoring Boyfriend's protests.  

"When do you get off, Pico?"  Girlfriend spins her fork around in her pasta before feeding the first bite to Boyfriend, keeping her eyes on Pico as the ginger hums thoughtfully.

"Technically nine, but I gotta watch the kids 'til ten.  That's when Lila comes back from her shit."

"Do you wanna come over for movie night?"  She looks over to Boyfriend who nods in agreement.  Pico laughs and shakes his head.

"Ain't this supposed to be ya guys' anniversary date?  Why the hell am I bein' invited?"

"'Cause it's more fun when you join us!"  Boyfriend pipes up, making his eyes go wide with hope, knowing how much of a sucker Pico is for his puppy dog eyes.  Like he predicts, Pico grumbles and looks away, a slight blush to his cheeks as he tries to regain his composure.

"Touchin', but nah.  It's y'all's day.  It's not my place to interrupt."  

"You wouldn't be-!"  A ringtone goes off in the middle of her sentence.  Girlfriend pauses, taking her phone out as her smile vanishes.  "Oh, just a minute."  She leaves the table quickly as she answers her phone with a faint, "Hi, Daddy..."

"Hm."  They watch her go outside before Pico turns back to Boyfriend.  "I hope you have somethin' really good planned for tonight."

"Well, I don't have anything planned, per se-"

"Oh for fuck's sake-"

"But!  Movie night is gonna be a thing!  Or, was."  Boyfriend frowns, not liking how it was her dad who called her.  Knowing him, he could be asking her to come home earlier than planned, ruining their romantic movie night.  "I was gonna play it by ear, y'know, in case something like that happens."

"Fair."  Pico crosses his arms and fixes Boyfriend with a stare.  "So how are you gonna save this night then?"

"Dunno yet."  Boyfriend bites his lip and scratches at the table.  "Like I said, I don't have much planned, so like..."  His eyes wander over to the stage.  A keyboard is the only instrument present on the stage alongside the stereos.  He blinks slowly at the sight of it, a hum low in his throat.  

"What?  Ya suddenly got an idea?"  Pico follows his gaze and whistles low.  "Gonna sing a love song?"

"What?  No."  A pause.  "Maybe.  I dunno."

"You dunno?"

"I don't really have a song lined up."  But it would be perfect.  She loves it when he sings.  Or raps.  Or does anything really.  And she did seem a little disappointed when she found out that there wasn't going to be a show tonight...

"You're a rapper," Pico supplies easily.  "Just freestyle."

"But I don't have any beats."  Which is true, unless he gets some help.  His eyes wander up to meet Pico's gaze.  "...Can I ask a favor?"

"Shoot."

"You still beatbox?"

And Pico smirks.  "Only if ya got a plan."  

Boyfriend looks around the bar, his eyes landing on the Spooky Boys and Cassette Girl.  Music flows behind his eyes as he maps out the beats and flows on the spot.  Fingers tap out the rhythm he wants to follow, and Pico taps his foot in tandem.  "I think," he says, watching as Girlfriend comes back into the bar with a gloomy look on her face, "I've got a plan."

Pico leans forward, and Boyfriend quickly whispers it to him before shooing the ginger away.  When Girlfriend takes her seat, Boyfriend takes it upon himself to buy some time for Pico as he keeps Girlfriend's attention on him.

"Something up?"

"Oh, it's just Daddy."  Her frown deepens, and Boyfriend can feel his heart drop from the sight.  She shouldn't be unhappy on their anniversary - of course her dad would ruin things for her.  "He wants me to come home early, says he doesn't want me to stay over too late since he doesn't trust you to keep your hands to yourself."

"Tch.  Your old man needs to lay off."  From the corner of his eye, he sees Cassette Girl wander to some backroom, only to reappear with a few more coworkers as one of them takes over her position by the podium.  Pico follows her next, helping her set up a couple of mics as she tests out the keyboard.  The noises catch the attention of the patrons, including Girlfriend as she turns in interest at the ruckus.

"What's going on?  Oh, is there a show happening after all?"  A small smile forms on her lips as she watches the prep.  "I wonder who they managed to get!"

"Yeah, I wonder."  Boyfriend lets her watch them for a second longer before taking her attention again.  "So how long can you stay out?"

"Mmm, at most, maybe an hour?  Daddy's imps will come and pick me up, regardless of where I am."  She puffs her cheeks out, which would normally be cute if she wasn't so distressed.  "Mommy was okay with me spending the night!  But Daddy won't even let me stay before midnight, so that ruins movie night..."

"Hey, don't worry about it.  We can always have movie night whenever."  He reaches over and takes her hand, giving it a firm, comforting squeeze.  

"But today was supposed to be our day."  She frowns again, holding onto his hand as she sighs softly.  "We were supposed to have a nice night doing whatever we wanted.  And now that's going to be ruined because my dad is being... himself again."

Random beats start playing.  It takes them both by surprise as they turn around to see Pico messing with... some kind of pad?  Is that a launchpad?  Cassette Girl shakes her head and points to some buttons before Pico nods and- ah.  So he didn't steal it from someone.  Clearly, it was Cassette Girl's own device.  

"What are they doing?"  Girlfriend watches with more interest as the two kids clamber onto the stage, Pico talking to them softly as they nod along to whatever he's saying excitedly.  He wags his finger like a metronome, and the boys both follow its movement before nodding furiously as he grins and pats the tops of their heads.  As Pico looks up from the boys, he meets Boyfriend's gaze and gives a small nod before standing up.

"They're getting a show ready for you."  Boyfriend grins when Girlfriend looks over to him bewildered.

"What do you mean, for me?"

"Heeeellloooo, everyone!"  Cassette Girl speaks into the microphone with her familiar drawl, getting the patrons to quiet down as they watch with rapt attention.  "Now, as you know, our booked gig for tonight ended up cancelling, but at the very last minute, we managed to snag another performer instead!  You may be familiar with his bright blue hair and obnoxious voice," a rumble of laughter rolls through the crowd, but he takes it all in stride as he waits for the intro to end, "but he's gotten pretty famous throughout these parts for his amazing freestyle rap!  Dedicated to his lovely Girlfriend of one year, we have Mr. Boyfriend, here to perform for one night only!"

"Boyfriend?!"  Girlfriend's eyes widen in excitement as he stands from his seat, grinning confidently as he winks to her.  It's not often he gets to perform for the sake of performing, so he wants to make this the best performance she's ever seen.

"You better give this girl a helluva anniversary."

As if he wasn't.

He takes the offered microphone from Cassette Girl as she takes her place behind the keyboard.  

"Heya, folks!"  He waves out to the crowd as the people who recognize him from his many rap battles cheer him on.  Girlfriend cheers from the crowd, for once enjoying the show as just a normal person, instead of being in the thick of it.  "Like Cassey said, this show is dedicated to my Girlfriend.  I started this whole career for her, and if it weren't for her, I never would have found this flow in my life.  I love her more than any song can convey, so I hope a show's worth of songs can get the message along.  Now are you ready to get funkin' lit?!"  

The crowd erupts into cheers as Girlfriend stands and cheers the loudest, her smile wide and bright as she pumps her fist in the air.  They wait for the crowd to calm down before Pico starts his beatboxing.  The beat begins slow, the notes sounding familiar as recognition settles on Girlfriend's features.

"Yo," he begins, holding the microphone close to his lips as he gets into the beat, "it's the remix."   Pico's beatboxing continues before Cassette Girl joins in with her keyboard.  The beat plays from the launchpad as the beatboxing ends, and that's his cue to start rapping.

"Don't look complacent, wearin' those rags, you ain't adjacent.  Lookie, I'm fly, and you look basic.  Look in her eyes, and I feel like takin' it for the win."   He meets Girlfriend's gaze with a grin as he waves his hand back and forth, pumping the crowd up as he continues to rap.

"Her dad be evil, no twin.  Skin purp' like the Sprite, sippin'.  He open his yap and you wouldn't believe it's the sound of an angel when he spittin'."   At Pico's cue, Skid and Pump join in with a chant of, "Go man go!  Go man go!"   They keep it up as Boyfriend continues to rap, the energy high and exciting as he performs for fun.

"Even though he look like a demon, hold my blue nuts as I battle for the takin'.  Of this girl, I just wanna hold her hand.  Look in our DM's and it's like candy land."   Boyfriend kneels on the stage and gestures for Girlfriend to come closer.  Without missing a beat, Girlfriend makes her way over, her head bobbing in time to the rhythm as she smiles blissfully.

"Yo, I really can't bust when her evil ass dad tryna make my ass be grass.  So I got one shot, learned to spit real hot, and it might just go like this."   As he takes her hand, he pulls her onto the stage and the Spooky Boys go quiet for his next lines.

"I don't mean no disrespect, but there's something about her I can't let go.  Baby, you know that I love you, even though my balls are blue."   The joke gets a giggle from Girlfriend, and it takes all his willpower not to stop rapping just to kiss her right there.

"I want to spend my life with her, even if her dad is evil or some shit.  Now spit it like this: we gettin' freaky on a Friday night, chyeah!"  The crowd goes wild as he scoops Girlfriend up in one arm, cradling her against his body as he continues to rap.  Her arms wrap around his neck as she leans against him, warm and happy in his embrace.

As she should be.  

The Spooky Boys return with the chant, pumping the crowd up some more as they cheer loudly with the rap.

"I just want to hold her tight, chyeah!  Her hair, her eyes, her thighs, yeah.  If I die, it'll all be worth it.  Just to get a chance to show she's worth it!"  He sways with the beat, watching as the crowd gets into the performance.  Besides him, Cassette Girl is grinning, nodding her head to the beat as she plays the mellow tunes on her keyboard.  Pico meanwhile focuses his attention alternating between beatboxing and playing the right beats on the launchpad, all while paying attention to the song and directing when the boys start and end their chant.  Despite the amount of tasks on his shoulders, he holds himself high and proud, enjoying himself with a smile as he moves with the beat.  Even the kids are enjoying themselves, bouncing on the spot and watching Pico intently for his cues.  A part of Boyfriend wonders if they're even paying attention to the lyrics or if they're too engrossed in the beats and sounds coming from the keyboard and launchpad to even care.

Not that it matters.

All that matters is that they're all having fun .  He looks out into the crowd and sees smile upon smile as they're all enjoying themselves to the music.  This.  This is what performing is all about.  The energy, the enjoyment, everyone losing themselves to the music and forgetting their woes and worries for even just a minute-

That's what makes it all so worth it.

He raps the chorus one last time before letting the beat peter out, Pico ending the song with his beatboxing increasing in tempo before ending it abruptly.  The crowd continues their cheers as Boyfriend yells into his microphone.

"You guys ready for more?!"

There's no doubt in his mind that he will absolutely be banned from the bar after this show, just with how rowdy the crowd is getting.  But it's all worth it in the end as he nods to his friends to play whatever beat that comes to mind.  He'll come up with the lyrics on the fly, all of them dedicated to Girlfriend as he sets her down and holds her tight to his side as they sway together.

He doesn't know how long they go for.  All the hype and excitement pushes him to continue, and when he looks over to see if Pico or Cassette Girl or even the boys look just a little tired, he's surprised to see them too excited to even consider taking a break.  The night is filled with raps filled with jokes and love as the clock finally strikes ten.  

Time to end the show.

"Alriiiight, everyone!"  Cassette Girl takes the microphone back from Boyfriend, panting slightly as she gestures to the crowd that grew during the performance.  "Unfortunately, that's it for this show!  Thanks for watching, hope you enjoyed your meals, and please, come back again when we host another gig or open mic!"  The crowd applauds as they all bow.  Cassette Girl pats his shoulder with a grin and turns back to help Pico clean up.  Girlfriend clings to his side, giggling and burying her face against his neck.

"Ohhh, that was so much fun!"  Her giddiness makes him laugh as he hugs her tight, covering her face in kisses as he breathes for the first time since the performance began.

"Did you enjoy yourself?"

"Are you kidding?!"  She laughs and picks him up, twirling them together in a circle before cuddling him midair.  "That was the most fun I've had in ages!"

"I'm glad," he admits, relief washing over him that their night was a success after all.  "Sucks we didn't finish our dinners though."

"I can get boxes for them."  Pico shows up next to them, both kids curled up in his arms as they cling to him.  "Or, uh, I can get Cass to get 'em for ya."

"Aww, are they tired?"  Girlfriend sets Boyfriend down to take a look at the kids.  "They did a really good job tonight!"  Skid lifts his head up, a tired but bright smile on his face as he giggles.

"That was fun!  I wanna do it again, Mr. Pico!"

"I'll think about it.  Remember what we promised before the show?"

"No repeating the bad words around mom," both boys respond, although Pump's words are muffled against Pico's shirt.  He chuckles and nods towards the couple.  

"I gotta get these kids home.  You guys get some rest too."

"We will."  Boyfriend stretches, feeling worn out from the show.  

"See ya."

"Bye, Pico!"  Girlfriend waves as Pico walks off, the two kids waving from Pico's arms.  "He really is good with kids, even if he won't admit it."

"He's always been protective of them."  They both hum, the thought sobering them a bit as they watch the ginger disappear in the crowd.  "We should visit him later and make sure he's okay too."

"Sounds like a plan."  Girlfriend smiles and takes his hand, swinging their arms between them.  A waitress comes by quickly, helping them pack their barely eaten dinners and shooing them out of the bar.  As they leave, Boyfriend passes by Server-chan, her expression still looking exhausted as their eyes meet.  But despite this, she smiles when she sees him, and he hopes she had fun too during his show.

He and Girlfriend walk for about five minutes before a limo pulls up beside them.  She sighs and turns to hug him tight, her face buried in his shoulder before she kisses him softly.

"Thanks for the lovely night," she whispers, soft and tender as the warmth from her cheek seeps through his shirt.  "It really was the best night of my life."

"I'm glad then," he whispers back, pressing a kiss to her temple.  "'Cause I'm gonna make sure I make every night the best night of your life from now on."

She giggles, pulling herself away reluctantly before climbing into the limo.  He watches as it drives away into the night, leaving him alone.

The night air is cold and brisk, but he finds himself warm regardless.  A smile wide and bright on his face as he stuffs his hands into his pockets, a tune coming out in the form of a whistle as he walks home.

What a night to remember.

[achillestiel]

the parent trap only works if you’re identical | part five (if this get’s any longer I’m putting it on ao3)

Tag List: @littlerachelbee @imthedoctorlove @deancas-handprint @castiel-loves-dean @wanderermatthews @thelahatiel @priscillahc @mridzyp @multi-fandom-dark-lord @thefantasyfiend @harmonyhelms @imlivingliferightnow ​ @kara-merlin @still-clowning-in-this-house @never-forever-more @continuezmesfilserrants @2musiclover2 @castiels-bitch @stjimmie @cmths5

“Well thank you for dinner but we should probably be heading out.” Dean said towards the end of one of, if not the most, awkward dinner of his life.

“Dad what about dessert?”

“Claire, we need to get going. It’s a long drive back to Kansas.” Dean said, sighing internally because he knew getting Claire out the damn house was going to be hard. 

“Dean, don't be ridiculous. You’ve been driving for most of the day.” Cas said. “We have the spare bedroom-”

“That’s my room!” Gabriel interrupted. 

“It’s not your room Gabriel. It’s the guest room. You have your own house with your own bedroom.” Cas said, giving Gabriel the bitchiest look Dean had ever seen. That was saying a lot seeing as he’d grown up with Sam. “Dean, why don’t you and Claire stay here for the night? Claire can sleep in Jack’s room and you can sleep in the guest room.” Cas suggested. Claire and Jack grinned at each other and Dean just knew they'd stay up half the night whispering to each other. Or plotting. Most likely plotting.  

No. Nope, Absolutely not going to happen in a million goddamn years. 

“Cas, we can just grab a motel if I get tired.” 

“Dad, I’m not staying in a motel if we can stay here.” Claire said stubbornly. “Plus Jack and I were already planning on making waffles in the morning!” Oh, Jesus Christ. These kids were going to be the death of Dean. And damn if both Claire and Jack weren’t giving him the puppy dog eyes. 

 “Fine. Fine. But we’re heading out in the morning Claire, I mean it.”

“After waffles.” Claire and Jack said in unison. When the hell did those two learn how to do that?

“Excellent, now that’s all sorted I’m going to head home as Winchester’s stolen my room. All the wine is gone anyways.” Gabriel asked, slapping his hand on his thighs as he got out of his seat

“See you in the morning Uncle Gabriel.” Claire said with a grin as Gabriel patted her on the head, ruffled Jack’s hair and gave both Dean and Cas pointed looks.  

“Good night Gabriel.” Cas said, giving his brother a stern look Dean didn’t understand. 

“Same to you bro. Good to see you Winchester, try not to keep this madam a stranger.” Gabriel said, nodding towards Claire.

“I’ll try.” Dean said, mainly to placate Gabriel. Gabriel gave them all a salute before heading out. “Nice to see Gabriel hasn’t changed at all.” Dean said once Gabriel had left. 

“No, he’s still the same annoying ass he’s always been.” Cas said. 

“I like him! He’s invited us to Thanksgiving this year.” Claire said. Yeah that’s not happening. Dean thought. 

“I’m going to teach Claire my secret yam recipe.” Jack said cheerfully. 

“Ah yes, Jack Novak’s secret yam recipe. Involving two whole bags of miniature marshmallows and a ruined casserole dish.” Cas said, shaking his head but giving Jack a fond look. 

“Sounds about as successful as when Claire tried to make apple pie on for Father’s Day.”

“What did you set on fire that time?” Jack asked Claire. Claire could stick her tongue out all she wanted but there were still scorch marks in their kitchen. 

“Yes well, Jack why don’t you and Claire clear up while Dean and I have a quick chat. After that, you can show Claire where she’s sleeping for the night. You two can watch a movie in your room.”

“Cool, how’d you feel about The Avengers?”

“Black Widow is a badass.” Claire said. “Rock, paper, scissors for who washes and who dries?” she then asked. 

“Oh Jesus.” Dean muttered as Cas motioned for him to follow him. Instead of going into the warm looking living room, Cas took Dean upstairs and into a spacious guest room. The walls were painted a deep, honey colour that matched the wooden furniture perfectly. Unlike Dean’s guest room, which was really a junk room, it was immaculately clean. Dean was about to make a quip about the cleanliness of the room before he stopped. In the corner of the room was the very turntable he had brought Cas for the first Christmas they had been together. Without saying a word, Dean walked over and glanced at the records neatly stored in their storage box. Bob Dylan, Fleetwood Mac and even the rare Otis Reading record that Dean had found at a vinyl fair. Cas had kept all of them. For a fleeting moment, Dean wondered if the note he’d hidden in the Bob Dylan record was still there. A hastily scribbled note saying I wasn't born to lose you. Oh, the irony. 

-

Cas watched with cautious eyes as Dean ran a hand over the box of records. Each one Dean had carefully picked out for Cas in another life. He had battled over getting rid of them for years. Gabriel had always said it was strange to keep hold of them but Cas could have never parted with them. When Jack was a toddler Cas had played all of them for him, smiling to himself at how Knocking On Heaven’s Door would always send Jack to sleep. 

“I think we need to have a talk.” Cas said, trying to ease the tension that had enveloped the room. 

“Um yeah.” Dean said with a cough as he straightened up, looking away from the records. “Cause apparently I’m cancelling my Thanksgiving plans with Sam to spend the day with my ex-brother-in-law, eating my body weight in mini marshmallows.” Dean said. “Cas...what are we going to do about this?”

“And by this you mean…”

“The kids. There’s no way Claire’s going to just go back to how it was before. Plus, Jack is an awesome kid. There’s no way I want to go back to how it was before. I mean, maybe Jack could stay with me during the summer?”

“And what? I get Claire during Easter? Christmas?” Cas asked, laughing at the absurdity of the situation. “We came up with this arrangement so the kids could live a normal life. What’s going to happen next, I have them for one year and you have them for the other? That won’t work.”

“No shit Cas but...did you see those two at dinner? They’ve only known each other for a few weeks but it’s clear they adore each other. Claire’s gonna be an even bigger pain in my ass after this. I don’t want to break my...our daughter’s heart when we separate them again and I’m sure you dont want that for Jack.”

“Of course I don’t! What do you honestly suggest then because not only did we come to this agreement to have the kids lead normal lives but it was also so we didn’t have to see each other.” Cas said because even though neither of them would say it, they both knew that seeing each other again would end in a huge fight and a lot of sex. 

"Then why did you ask me to stay?" Dean asked. Good question Dean, very good question. 

"Because it's late and you can't drive throughout the night when you've been driving all day." Cas said. Liar a small voice inside Cas said. As much as he annoys you, you still love him. 

"Oh." Dean said in a small voice. 

"Why? What do you expect me to say?"

"Nothing...forget it." Dean said. “You know, now that we’re here and I’ll probably never be here again. About that day you packed, why'd you do it? Why did you just hop on a train and leave?”

“Dean.” Cas groaned. “We were so young. We both had tempers, we said stupid things so I packed. Got on the train and you didn't come after me.”

“I wanted to but I didn’t think you’d want me to follow.” Dean said in a small voice. “Dammit Cas, you just had to send Jack to the exact same camp as Claire didn’t you? ”

“We haven’t spoken in twelve years, how on earth was I supposed to know where you were sending Claire for the summer? It might shock you to hear this but I can’t read your damn mind Dean. I didn’t send Jack there because a little voice in my head said ‘Oh Dean is sending Claire to this camp! Send Jack so he can meet the twin sister he never knew he had.’” Cas said.  "You are so infuriating, you know that right?”

"I'm infuriating?” Dean asked, looking highly offended. “What about the time you recorded over my Star Trek episode with a documentary on the life of Tomas Jefferson?"

"You have the whole series on DVD! Why did you need to record it off the SyFy channel?"

"You know why! It was the Trouble With Tribbles episode and that was on the DVD that Sam scratched when I let him borrow it!" Dean shot back. 

"Well, you set fire to the patio furniture! Don't even say you didn't because Eileen told me it was you and Sam the next morning." Cas said.

"You scratched the Impala!"

"That wasn't me, it was Gabriel. I lied and said it was me because he was already on his last warning from when he spilt red wine on the couch." 

"Yeah well, you did break my Captain Kirk mug." 

"No Dean, the asinine way you stacked kitchen items broke your Captain Kirk mug." 

"Yeah well, you...you…" Dean said and something inside Cas just broke. This man, this irritating and stubborn man had been the love of his life, his husband and the man he wanted to spend this rest of his life with. Twelve years hadn’t changed a damn thing. 

"Oh for god sake Dean, shut up." Cas said and even though he knew this was the worst plan in the world, even worse than his non-identical twins switching places, Cas pulled Dean in close, their lips crashing against one another. Oh god, it was like going home after a long trip. Cas knew this, knew it better than breathing. Cas still loved Dean more than anyone else in the history of the universe. 

"Cas this is the dumbest-" Dean tried to say between kisses. Frantic kisses that set Cas’ skin ablaze.

"Just shut up and take off your pants." Cas said before his brain could come up with a million reasons why this was a stupid idea. 

“What?”

“Dean, shut up and take off your pants.” Cas said before crashing their lips together again in a kiss that was more like a battle for dominance than anything else. 

“I can’t take off my pants if you keep kissing me.” Dean said as he pulled away and Cas just groaned because this man drove him so insane but all Cas wanted to do was kiss every inch of his body. "This is the worst idea ever."

"Worse than when you let Jo pierce your lip?" Cas asked. He could still the slight scar on Dean’s bottom lip. 

"That was not as bad as the time you wanted to make your own honey." 

"One bee flew in the house Dean, one."

"Bees don't belong in a house Cas, they belong in a beehive."

"Are you really trying to start an argument when we're about to have sex?" Cas asked. Thankfully Dean shook his head. "Good, now take off your clothes and get on the bed."

-

With The Avengers to mask the sound, Claire and Jack sat in Jack’s room as they called their Uncle Sam. After a few rings, he accepted the video call. Grinning at the pair of them with a warm smile.

"Hey kids...man it's weird seeing you two together. How's it going?" Sam asked. 

"Awesome. We made chilli and got them to sit in the same room." Claire said. 

Well, that's something Eileen signed. So what's the plan? 

Plan?

Yeah, the plan. You two are definitely up to something because Claire's involved. 

Why do you always think I'm up to something? Claire asked. 

Intuition

"Past experience." Sam intoned. "Where’re your dads now?”

“Guest room we think, we heard shouting in there about ten minutes ago.”Jack said. “Something about tribbles.”

“Is he still on about that?” Sam groaned. Just out of view on the screen, Eileen signed something to Sam. He groaned and signed back. 

“Hey! Winchester family rule, no covert signing.” Claire said. Sam looked back at her with a classic Uncle Sam Bitchy Face. “What did you say?”

“Ugh.” Sam said. “Fine, your aunt said that if they’re fighting there’s good chance they’ll end up having sex.”

“Ew! Gross!” Jack and Claire said at the same time. “Those are our dads.” Claire said, wrinkling her nose. 

“Yeah? And how do you think you two were made?”

“With a turkey baster and a very patient surrogate.” Claire shot back. “Wait...if they do...you know...do gross stuff, does that mean they’ll get back together?”

Going from past experience, no. They’ll just fight and make noises that, according to your uncle, only dogs can hear.

“That’s really gross Aunt Eileen.” Jack said. “As far as a plan goes, we don’t really have one. Come on, we’re twelve. We need help and Uncle Gabriel has gone home.”

“Good, his plan would have been awful.” Sam said. “Look kids, I know damn well that Dean still loves Cas and judging from what you’ve told us, Cas probably still loves Dean. Just let them fight it out, turn whatever movie you’re watching way up and see how things are in the morning. I know these two idiots pretty well, you can’t force them into anything.”

“We can’t play the long game here Uncle Sam. Dad’s making us leave in the morning.”

“After waffles.”

“Yeah, after waffles I’ll be shoved in the car and grounded until graduate.” Claire said. The four of them sat in silence for a moment before Eileen’s face lit up. 

Ok I have a plan but if it backfires then you do not get it from me. Claire, do you remember how to disable the battery on the Impala? 

“Yeah, I remember...oh...no car means not having to leave.” Claire said with a grin. “Aunt Eileen, you are a genius and never let anyone tell you otherwise.”

“I want no part in this part of the plan.” Sam said hastily. 

“Too late Uncle Sam, welcome to Team Parent Trap.” Jack said happily.     

[tscmu]

Some headcanons for the Hq boys and how they propose to their s/o?

HI YES THIS IS THE KIND OF STUFF I LOVE WRITING ABOUT PLS okay so u didnt really specify which boys so im gonna go for ones that i can picture proposing that sounded weird ok-

characters; koushi sugawara, satori tendou, kenma kozume, osamu miya + tooru oikawa oK LETS GO

koushi sugawara

- pls he’d make it so heartfelt and meaningful HHH I LOVE HIM~ - he’d want to make you feel how much he loved you, like actually feel it in your heart - i feel like he’d tell a FEW people, probably only get daichi to help AHAHAH - bruh asahi would probably have a mental breakdown and tanaka would snitch💔💔 - but he’d have an idea of what you both wanted i think, you wouldve spoken it over before defos - he’d want it to not be that public, just the two of you - so it’d be at like a hiking trail you both go on or something, a place that means loads to both of you but isn’t there for the world to see - and then...…came the day - he knew how much you picked up on little details so he had to be sneak sneak ten thousand™ - “hey, wanna go out on that one walk up *insert name of place idk*? ok ok ok i’ll get ur coat sugar” - EEEEEEEEEEE - he was trying his absolute best to keep it together - he knew you’d most likely say yes, so he wasn’t TOO scared, but it was still SCARY LIKE- - and then u got to the place he wanted to propose - it was this place where you always stopped, where there was a little bench (with your initials STILL carved into it from all those years ago) and it looked out over a nice view - “ooh, can we stop here again!” “u-huh i was actually gonna ask-” - bro he almost forgot the speech daichi read over to him about 20 times - but HE DID IT WOOOO - he didn’t want to make a MASSIVE deal out of it, the wedding would be more important to him but he still wanted to make you know how much he adored you - speech included lots of memories dating even back to before hed even SPOKEN to you i stg this man - AND U SAID YES!!! u have no choice. u did.

satori tendou

- i feel like he’d be kINDA similar to suga?? - a little less caring - he’d never actually pictured himself getting married tbf- - he never thought he’d actually find the right person so he just....gave up idk - BUT THEN YOU CAME INTO HIS LIFE- - even with you he hadn’t really thought about marriage, he was just focused on having fun with you, but then ushijima was like ‘...so, tendou. when is the wedding commencing between you and y/n.” and he just- - it was actually when they were sitting there he started to plan it - ushijima would SEEM like the worst person to go to, but he was actually quite good at this stuff - so in about 2 hours sat at the back door of tendou’s work, they had sketched out a sort of plan on the back of a spare napkin - there was one main thing he knew he wanted to talk about - how you always stuck by him, no matter what he did - he thought he’d seriously fucked up, and you would be back at his door the next day, smiling and chattering about this new café you heard opened down the road - god, he was terrified to even mention paris to you, but you were so up for the idea, it took him by shock - he didn’t take you for granted - so for once, he wanted to make you feel loved - they couldn’t think of a place to take you for ages, but then it hit them - you and tendou always went to wakatoshi’s games, ever since high school you both always made the commute if you had the time - and ushijima had a game coming up in two weeks...…. - when he mentioned it OFC U WERE DOWN PLS, you loved going back to japan - like ofc france was incredible but......... it was just lovely to see everyone again ;-; - since youd been there so much, you basically just got to stand right at the side of the court AHAHAH - so they won the game. obviously. its ushi and kags we’re talking abt here. are you kidding. then tendou started acting weird, which made u hella sus - it was the first time in what felt like years you’d seen him so...nervy - he kept fumbling over his words, you had to yell at him to speak up - but eventually he did it - he spoke abt how much you meant to him, how you made him more comfortable in his own body, how you stuck by him through everything - AND U SAID YES. AGAIN, U HAVE NO CHOICE. - and yes ushi and kags started cheering and the news outlets put u on the news i dont make the rules ok

kenma kozume

- ok mans is TERRIFIED - he’d quite genuinely never thought about marriage, throughout his years with you by his side it just...never crossed his mind - but it was when you were lying in bed one night, his arm dangled over you as you both drifted in and out of sleep - and it just hit him - why the fuck were you both still like this? - marriage was something you always expressed a love for, when kuroo got married you were basically in a trance the whole time - how was he so unaware? - people described kuroo’s proposal as pretty much perfect, he’d always been good at reading his partner, so he just used that knowledge to make something he knew they’d like - so, to kenma’s extreme distaste, he went to kuroo - oh my god kuroo fucking c r i e d - kenma was finally ‘growing up’ - so after about an hour of kuroo sobbing, they finally got down to business - after lots of.. lets say elaborate ideas from kuroo, and lots of no's from kenma, they finally came to a sort of compromise - since you and kuroo worked in the same department, he would text you on saturday simply asking if you wanted to catch coffee and talk about that one assignment - obviously, you said yes - not thinking anything of it, you just pulled on a jumper and jeans AHAH- - then you notice,,,why tf is he taking u to a beach at 7pm in march???? - #serialkillerkurooheadcanons - but u see kenma and ur like... wtf have u gotten yourself into- - have they been possessed?? who knowz - and then u get BLINDFOLDED LIKE WHAT - but then u snap back down to earth like why would they kidnap u- - as kuroo takes it off, kenma’s quite literally shaking - poor babie - he never really knew how to explain his thoughts properly, so the speech wasn’t anything extremely dramatic and/or romantic - but he did in a way tell you how much you meant to him - he spoke abt how you boost his confidence, have always been there whenever he needed you, and how you seem to always understand him when he’s being at his most blunt - therefore he thinks you’re his soulmate - PLSPLSPL IM CRYING

osamu miya

- i think he always knew he wanted to marry you - atsumu always embarassed him about it- - it got to the point you didn’t actually think he’d propose, you would just wake up one day and a wedding dress would be on the door - but it got to the point where tsumu was mentioning it significantly more when you went over for dinner - mama miya was always telling you how happy she was that samu picked you - even your own parents were being oddly warmer towards samu, whenever they phoned they asked how he was, etc etc - so you knew something was up - samu was always really polite to your parents, asked their permission before he even took you out on a date - ironic because you lived together but still- - so turned out, he actually mentioned proposing to you to them - they adored him for gods sake so of course they said yes - then tsumu thought he was acting weird, so he told his side - jesus christ they freaked out - his parents were always nervous about atsumu, who slept with random people on the weekends, and hadn’t been in a proper relationship since middle school - you were basically their god send AHAHA - so it was a massive deal when he wanted to marry you - it would appear that he didn’t really care, but in honesty it meant the wholeass world to him - like suga, he’d go for a location that meant a lot to both of you - christmas was a huge deal for both your families, they both came together and you had an incredible time - and last year some of the jackals came over, which was just hilarious - so what better time than christmas with your loved ones around you??? - it started off like a normal christmas, you had an incredible dinner ( cooked by none other than osamu ((with atsumu and bokuto attempting to sabotage it but just burning their hands on the pot)) ) then all played some games - but it was when you were all watching the basic christmas tv programmes when the atmosphere... changed - everyone was looking at you and samu, even sakusa looked excited - it was when his father muted the tv, and samu took your hand, your heart was basically beating out your chest. - he spoke about how he felt like, for the entirety you’d been together for, every day he seemed to fall more in love with you. you were like his rock, when things were even a bit off he could just come to you and you’d automatically make him happier even just by looking at you - bruh bokuto and hinata were sobbing in the corner

tooru oikawa

- surprising, but he never thought about marriage - he just kind of assumed he’d be one of those people that would be in a relationship for like a week then just.. move on to another person idk - that was until he ran into you - everyone, even his own parents, said he was a different person when he started dating you - it was ironic, you were quite similar to him - yet you made him rethink his fucking morals  - it was sappy asf - ANYWAY BACK TO THE TOPIC AT HAND - he took this proposal really seriously, he wanted it to be the best moment of your whole life - until the wedding ofc ofc - since you’d basically changed him as a person, he wanted this to just show his appreciation for everything you’d ever done for him - he wanted you to feel his love - and so he set about preparing a good proposal - he’d be like osamu, and definitely ask your parents first - your parents loved him anyway, they thought he was the best thing that’d happened to you for a long while - he basically knew what he wanted to do - nothing too public, but nothing too quiet - whats the point of proposing if some people dont see am i right??? - sometimes when you both either a) needed a break or b) you both had a period of time where you were free, you both just booked an impromptu holiday AHAHHA - #richkidtingz - so obvs he had to do it on one of them... it was ur thing after all?? - it was when you walked in the door, face red, and flopped down on the sofa next to him, he grasped the opportunity - “..got any spare holidays from work?” - you quickly went on a travel agent website and booked a three day holiday to brazil, leaving the next morning - it was one of your favourite places to just escape to, so it made sense for him to propose there tbf - it was as you both woke up the first morning there, still sleepy from the night before, you grinned at eachother. - “hey.. get ready quick, i wanna do something.” “wHAT-” - he didn’t actually know where to do it, he just called a taxi and asked for your favourite high street HAHAH - after about an hour of browsing around shops, your hand never out of his, you finally asked ‘what did you want to do?’ - his breathing almost stopped i stg, he didn’t realise how scared he was - but then... HE DID IT POGGERS - he stuck to what he knew he wanted to speak about, making you sob in the process ofc - and even all the locals congratulated you!!!

--------

HI THIS IS SO LONG IM SORRY BUT I LOVED WRITING IT PLS!! THANK U FOR REQUESTING da box is always open mwah

[glassartpeasants]

Not As It Seems

Overhaul x F!Reader (xChrono??)

Warnings: Hella angst, small hint of fluff if you squint, bro code broken

A/N: I want to thank @zuffer-weird-girl for letting me write this! I All credit goes to her and her Chibi AU! I love angst and this was too good to pass up this opportunity. If you want to learn more about Her chibi au go check her out she has some really amazing au’s so if your done with this go check her out! 

~~~

They’re all 11 

“Oh hey Kai, what are you doing?” Hari asked his friend who seemed to be lost in his own world.

“KAI!”

“Jesus! What do you want?” Kai said, finally snapping out of his daydream.

“Who were you thinking about?” Hari said, giving Kai a smug look.

“That’s none of your business now is it?” Kai growled at his friend who only laughed.

“You're thinking about (y/n) aren’t you!” Hari howled as he held his stomach trying to control his laughter.

“Lies! I am not!” Kai tried to argue but his face showed it all. His cheeks and ears were bright red.

“Sure you're not. Hey is that (y/n) over there?”

“WHERE?!” Kai turned his head quickly only to be disappointed when you weren’t there.

“YOU DO LIKE HER!” Hari put his hands on his knees trying to catch his breath.

“Fine, maybe I do feel a sort of attraction to her. Is that so wrong?” Kai huffed looking at his friend who had calmed down.

“No nothing’s wrong at all, i just like to tease you because i find it hilarious.”

“Wow, such an amazing friend i have here.” Kai rolled his eyes as Hari caught his breath.

“Hi guys!” Kai yelped as the sound of your voice startled him causing Hari to burst into laughter again. Tears rolling out the corners of his eyes.

“H-hey (y/n)! How long have you been there…” Kai shivered at the thought of you hearing his inner thoughts.

“Oh i just got here! Is Hari okay?” Kai turned to Hari seeming him breathing heavily on the ground.

“Yes he’s fine.” Kai pouted. What was so special about him? Why didn’t you care about him-

“Kai? Why is your face red?” YOu put your hand on his head thinking he had a fever.

“I- uh..”

“Your head is so hot! Are you sure you don't have a fever?” Your face showing worry. You were worried about him. Not Hari…

Him

~~~

They’re 16

“Chibi’s?”

“Yep! Chibi’s are the things that tell you who your soulmate is! But they cannot tell you your soulmate's name, that's against their rules.” The teacher answered. Kai and Hari sat at their desks and listened to the teacher tell them about what kind of future in romance they have.

“How does it work? Like is it someone random or is it someone the person knows?” Hari raised his hand out of curiosity. Kai was also curious. WHat if he got your chibi? You guys would be soulmates!

“50/50.” The teacher shrugged his shoulders as he answered the next person’s question.

“You know what that means hmm?” Hari moved his eyebrows up and down at Kai.

“Stop, you look like an idiot.”

“Rude much?” Hari only laughed as he looked at his friend who seemed to be lost in his own world again.

“So you think your soulmate will be (y/n)?” Hari said to Kai, making him snap his head in Hari’s direction.

“Shut up dammit.” Kai mumbled as he turned his head away from the snickering male to hide his red cheeks.

*after class*

“Hey guys! Did you hear about chibi’s?!” You asked excitedly as you sat next to them on the bench in the gym.

“Yeah-”

“Man they were so weird!” Hari interrupted Kai as he laughed with you. Hari was really starting to get on his nerves.

“They said it could be someone you know or someone you dont know! 50/50 pretty much.” Hari laughed as he nudged Kai. Trying to give him the ‘I'm setting you up to talk to her look’

“Really? Cool! What do you think about it Kai?” You said as your eyes gleaned up at him. HIs heart fluttered knowing that you asked him, not Hari.

“Interesting honestly.”

“Do you have anyone you want it to be?” You said nudging his shoulder as Hari chuckled at Kai. Kai got tense was at a lost for words the only thing that came out of his mouth was-

“Yes.”

“REALLY! TELL ME WHO IT IS!” You squealed happy for your friend.

“No, do you have someone?” Kai quickly turned the spotlight away from him and onto you.

“Yep!” You said without a care in the world. How could you be so calm?

“Can you tell me-”

“No! You didn’t tell me so now i won’t tell you!”

“I say that’s fair don’t you Kai?” Hari snickered as he saw his friend giving him the most intense glare.

Kai mumbled under his breath before turning to you. Seeing your happy face ranting about how cool it is and how you were so excited for your chibi was all worth the mystery.

~~~

They’re all 20

“Why are you so down (y/n)?” Kai asked you as he saw you cover your face in a pillow while laying on the couch.

“Is it so much to ask to just want my goddamn chibi?!” You growled, your face not leaving the pillow.

“Patience is key.” Oh who was he kidding! He wanted his too. Neither him, Hari or you got your yet and it was starting to piss him off. You two were obviously made for each other so why was it taking so long? 

Hurried tip toes try to sneak past Kai only causing him to turn his head where he saw Hari sneaking past him.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“SHIT! Don’t scare me like that man.” Hari yelled at him as he nervously laughed looking away from Kai.

“Are you hiding something from me?” Kai's voice lowered an octave making him seem more menacing.

“Kai calm down, let the man be.” You said lifting your head up from the pillow causing Kai to sigh.

“FIne, do whatever you were going to do.” Kai told Hari, sighing in the process. Why did he have to have such a weak-spot for you? 

“Oh cool, I’ll be back in an hour or two.” Hari said as he zoomed past Kai and out the door. He should keep a closer eye on him. He’s getting a little suspicious. 

“Kai don’t you want your chibi to come soon?” You looked up at him with sad eyes.

“I don’t know really.” Kai lied through his teeth. Of course he does. He just wants more proof that you two were meant to be together.

“Well i can’t wait. I really want mine soon.” You sighed as you put your head back into the pillow.

“Like I said, patience is key.” He’s such a hypocrite.

*two weeks later*

Why were you so sad every time you saw him? Did he do something wrong? Not to mention Hari has been acting up too. You both weren’t your normal selves and it was starting to piss Kai off.

“Mimic, can you tell me why both Hari and (Y/N) are acting so strange around me?” Kai asked.

“Shit if i know.”

“Thanks for the help.” Kai grumbled as he tapped his fingers on his desk in frustration. Sooner or later he was gonna confront both of you but he had to think of a plan first.

“Mimic get me a copy of (Y/N) work schedule.”

“On it boss man!”

~~~

*1 month later*

He finally had the perfect timing! A whole month was prepared for this moment. He was gonna confront you and Hari about your suspicious behavior.

As he walked closer to your room a weird sound came from your door. He quietly tip-toed to your door and pushed his ear against the wood.

His eyes blow wide at the sound of you kissing someone in your room! Who in their right mind dare touch his angel?! You were his and you had been from the moment he saw you!

‘squeak!’ 

Once again another noise that made his vision go red with rage. You even had your chibi?! And you never told him?! How long have you had it?!

“Hari~”

Shattered. Thats the best way to describe it. The sound of your voice calling out a name that wasn’t his. He wasn’t your soulmate,

His best friend was…

His whole world felt like it was shattering in front of him. For so long he kept his feelings bottled up inside waiting for the right time to confess. But now he would never get that chance.

His hands started shaking and even though he could help it but kick down your door. And the sight broke his heart further.

You both had your chibi’s. You were meant to be Hari’s, not his, Not now, not ever.

You both looked at Kai with shock and then sadness. Your eyes held guilt. There was nothing you could do even if you wanted to. You were destined to be with Hari. Not Kai.

Hari wasn’t much different. His face held shame and remorse. His best friend of year found out that you were his soulmate. He was hoping that Kai would have found his soulmate before Hari told him that you were his.

The room was dead silent. So quiet that you could have heard a pin drop. Both yours and Hari’s chibis looked up at Kai, sadness in their eyes as well.

“How long.”

“Kai I-”

“I SAID HOW FUCKING LONG HARI!”

“....I got my chibi first, the day you caught me sneaking behind you was the day I found out. (Y/N) found hers 2 days afterwards. Kai...I’m sorry-”

“YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MY BEST FRIEND! I TRUSTED YOU!”

“HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT IT WAS GOING TO BE LIKE THIS?!”

Silence plagued the room once more as the tension between Hari and Kai was so intense you could cut it like a knife.

“You were the only person I could trust…”

“What do you want me to do then Kai?” Kai couldn’t see it but Hari held on to your arm tight. He will never admit to him that all those years he too liked you but was willing to give you up just for Kai.

“Why didn’t you tell me (Y/N)?”

“ I didn’t want to hurt you…” You said as you refused to look at him.

“Well look where that got you.” Kai said venom in his words. You couldn’t even look him in the eye you were so overwhelmed with guilt. Tears started to flood down your face as you held Hari’s arms tighter.

“You knew I loved her.”

“You think i can change what’s been done Kai?! I can’t for your information and I’m sorry! Kai, you're my best friend for christ sake! I can’t choose which soulmate I get even if I wanted to!” Tears fell down Hari’s face as well. He never wanted this to happen. He only prayed that he would never find out.

“I want both of you to leave now.” You and Hari’s eyes were blown wide as you looked at Kai who shot you both the most terrifying glare you have ever seen.

“I won’t tell you again.” Hari knew what Kai would do if they didn’t hurry. HE snatched both your chibi’s and put them in his pocket before grabbing your hand and whisking you away from the room. 

And from Kai.

~~~

Years later

“Hari...I think you could come see this…” Your voice was in shock as you looked at the tv.

“What is it-” Hari’s voice stopped once he saw what was on the Tv as well.

On the tv was a live broadcast of where you all used to live together. In the Shie Hassakai compound.

“It’s completely destroyed…” You hold your hand to your mouth as tears stream down your face.

“How did this happen.” Hari sat next to you as you watched the TV. Both your chibi’s snuggled up next together as they shaked watching the tv with you both.

Both of your eyes went wide once you saw what Kai had been doing all those years you guys were away. Kai started testing on a little girl who was supposed to have enough power to erase people's quirks. 

You both watched in horror as the man you both once knew became something you’d now fear.

Seriously though go check @zuffer-weird-girl out, Do it or I’ll break your kneecaps UvU

[lumiolivier]

The Good Old Days Chapter Eighteen: One Night in Paradise

A/N: Hi, friends! How would you feel about a little hurt/comfort/domestic fluff? Because that's what you're getting. Here. Have this.

ICYMI: Chapter 17: Party at Vanessa's

Holy shit, Old Man. This was beyond classy town. This was one of those hotels where I’m afraid I’ll get kicked out for not having freshly shined shoes. But if not because of the Old Man, then for Vanessa, I’m going to have to get used to tasting silver like this. Speaking of Vanessa, I think I might have gotten her out of her head for a second. Good. That’s what we’re here for. Anything I can do to scrub whatever her…delight…of a mother put in her head, I’ll gladly do it. Even if it means finally tasting a little bit of the upper echelons.

“Frankie…” her grip on my hand tightened, “How in the fuck did you swing something like this on such short notice?”

“You don’t need to worry about that,” I threw an arm around her, “I needed to take care of my girl and I’ll be damned if I don’t come through on that. A little power in this town goes a long way, baby. The Old Man taught me that. I got to learn that lesson the hard way, though.”

“How?” Vanessa wondered.

“Well…” I kissed her cheek, “I’m here with one of the biggest debutants in New York, aren’t I?”

“Oh, fuck right off with that bullshit,” she giggled, rolling her eyes, “You’re not with me because of your power, Frankie. We both know that.”

“Not necessarily,” I poked at her, “If the Old Man wouldn’t have sent me on that job that night, we wouldn’t have met. And we wouldn’t have this beautiful hotel to retreat to for the night. Shall we?”

“Yes, please.”

I went up to the front desk and waited for someone to notice I was here. A cute receptionist came up to me, “Can I help you, sir?”

“I have a reservation,” I told her, “It should be under Gregorio Alvarez.”

“Just a moment,” she checked the computer, “I’m sorry, sir. There is no reservation for Gregorio Alvarez here.”

“Are you sure?” This feels like the Old Man testing me. Even if it’s not, shit…I’m out a hotel room for the night. I suppose we could always make the trip back to Williamsburg. That wouldn’t be the end of the world.

“You know what?” Vanessa dug in her bag in search for her wallet, “I appreciate the effort, but I got it.”

“No,” I stopped her, “I got it…Could you check to see if there’s a reservation made under Francisco Mendoza?”

“Sure,” the receptionist checked her computer one more time, “I have one executive suite for Francisco Mendoza. Paid in full.”

“That’s me!” I started to relax. It might not have been the Old Man testing me, but I appreciate him making the reservation in my name. And executive. Damn, Old Man. You do love me.

“I just need a valid ID.”

“Sure, sure,” I pulled my wallet out and tossed my ID on the counter and let her look at it for a brief moment.

“Alright,” the receptionist pulled out a room key and handed it back with my ID, “Enjoy your stay.”

“We will,” I put my ID back and handed off the keys to Vanessa. I still couldn’t believe this was about to be a thing. I’ve never stayed in a nice ass hotel before. Not like this anyway. Even when we’d go back to Spain, we wouldn’t stay anywhere nearly as nice as this.

“Excuse me, Mr. Mendoza,” the receptionist stopped me. Shit…This was it. This was when I find out there’s another Francisco Mendoza in the world that runs a Fortune 500 and he’s in town for the night, “There’s a message for you that was supposed to be delivered upon your arrival.”

“Oh,” I took the envelope, “Ok. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” she smiled sweetly, “If you need anything, please let us know.”

“Will do.” I like her. She seems nice. Then again, she gets paid to be nice to people. I know what that’s all about. But with her, it seemed genuine. Good for you, honey.

“Well?” Vanessa leaned onto my shoulder as we got into the elevator, “Aren’t you going to open it?”

“I should do that, shouldn’t I?” I tore the seal on the envelope. It felt weirdly thick. If this was the Old Man floating me some cash, too, I might love him a little more. Huh…No cash. Alright. That’s fine.

Sorry to hear about your shit night, kid.

Hopefully, this will help a little.

Put it to good use.

What the hell…? I shook out the envelope and saw a bright yellow package in that envelope that said banana flavored on it. And it wasn’t candy. Jesus Christ, Old Man! I shoved the envelope and its contents into my jacket pocket. I love Vanessa dearly. Really, I do. But sometimes, I hate her curiosity, “What was it?”

“Nothing,” I squeaked. It was nothing. Just the Old Man being a bro. And by the looks of things, trying to help me get laid tonight. Not that it wasn’t a sweet gesture, but tonight kind of went to shit. I feel like if I mention sex to Vanessa, it’ll go one of two ways. She’ll either beat me with her purse or she’s going to get into it and it’ll be angry sex. We don’t need angry sex for the first time out.

“It didn’t look like nothing,” she smirked, “What was in the envelope, Frankie?”

“A note from the Old Man,” I pacified her, “He said he hopes this makes up for the bullshit that went down tonight.”

“Isn’t he sweet?” Something in her eyes said all she need to. She saw it, too. She knows it’s on me. It’s not like my brothers weren’t the same way.

When we got to our room, this looked like something straight out of a classy porno. Dim lights, a mixture of pink and red rose petals on the bed. And a bottle of champagne already on ice. Oh, the Old Man does love me. He does know it’s been a shit night. Although, he’s told me on more occasions than one that he had a soft spot in his heart for Vanessa, too. He knows what we’ve been through. He knew I wanted to deal with Vanessa’s family (excluding Veronica. Because I loved that little spitfire like she was my own.) like I wanted a fucking root canal. This was the break we both could’ve used. Especially after that mess.

I couldn’t help but wonder how much a night in this room would’ve costed me, but the thought of me being Vanessa’s rebellious phase kind of tickled me. Without another thought, she jumped onto the bed and made herself comfortable. Of all the times to be without a camera. That’s all this bed was missing. Vanessa stretched out in the middle of it amongst the rose petals. Look at it now. It’s perfect. And so is she. Going by the sparkle in her eyes, she’s waiting on me.

I tossed my jacket aside and crawled in bed next to her, pulling her into my chest, “So? Did I take care of you tonight, Vanessa?”

She nuzzled her face in my shoulder and shut her eyes, “Thank you, Frankie. I really hoped this night would’ve gone better, but…I didn’t think she would’ve dropped that kind of bomb on me. I shouldn’t be surprised, but…I just didn’t want to deal with her anymore.”

“I know, baby,” I kissed her forehead, “I know. And we don’t have to. Not for the rest of the night. For the rest of the night, it’s just you and me.”

“You weren’t there for the conversation, Frankie,” she shuddered, “It was fucking awful. It got to the point where I’m surprised she didn’t mention something about my biological clock ticking. And ticking even faster. You’re twenty-four, Vanessa. You have to further the bloodline, Vanessa. God forbid the family fizzles out because you didn’t pop out a baby. This shit’s fucking exhausting.”

“Yikes,” I held her tighter, “Can I ask you something without you getting angry and defensive?”

“Hell of a way to start a conversation,” Vanessa shot a quick glare at me, “Depends on what you’re going to ask me. If it does piss me off and get me defensive, can I bite you?”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time…”

“What did you want to ask me, you freak?” she threw her head back in sheer exasperation. I’m adorable when I’m too much.

“The other guy…” I wondered, “The asshole your mom tried setting you up with…”

“What about him?” Vanessa reached over for the open champagne bottle.

“Was he better looking than me?”

“Seriously?” she giggled, shaking her head. Again. I’m adorable when I’m too much.

“I’m just curious,” I shrugged, “Was he better looking than me?”

“He came from a prominent family,” Vanessa handed the bottle off, “Nose high up in the air. And that’s all that mattered to her.”

“But,” I reiterated, “I don’t care what he comes from. He tried moving in on my girl. That makes him a piece of shit in my book already. The fact that it was because her mother told him to move in on my girl makes him even worse. But what I want to know is was he better looking than me?”

“No,” she laughed even harder, warming me inside like nothing else, “You’re awful.”

“Sue me.”

“But…” Vanessa snuck in a slow, sweet kiss, “You’re wonderful…You’re wonderfully awful.”

“I try,” I took another hit from the champagne bottle. Normally, I hated champagne. It didn’t matter what kind it was. All of it tasted like shit. But this? I could be ok with this one.

“I love you, Frankie,” she took the bottle back from me. Only to put it on the nightstand.

“And I you,” I held her tight, making sure nothing would ever happen to her. Because if it did, that’d be on me. Don’t you worry, baby. I’m going to make sure you stay safe. As long as you’re mine, “Why don’t you get some sleep, ok?”

“I will if you will,” Vanessa bargained, “Even though the Old Man was kind enough to toss you a condom for tonight.”

“Not the right time,” I brushed her off, “I mean, if you wanted to, it’s not like I’d say no, but not like this.”

“I really do love you, Frankie,” she pulled the blankets over us, “You know…All things being equal…If I had to choose right now between the guy my mom handpicked for me and you…”

“I know,” I hushed her, “For the sake of your family name, you’d go with whoever the hell Victoria wanted you to go with. And I’d have to understand that. But we’d both stay up late at night wondering what might have been.”

“Oh,” Vanessa let it go, “Thank God. I was going to take the romantic route and say I’d pick you, but I’m glad we don’t have to have that long, awkward conversation. Thanks for being so understanding.”

“And you say I’m the little shit,” I giggled a bit.

“You know damn well what I was about to say,” she kissed my cheek, “Good night, Frankie.”

“Good night.” And I’d pick you, too, baby. Any day of the week. I’d be stupid to ever even consider throwing you back. You’re the best thing to ever happen to me, Vanessa, and I’m going to make sure you know that. Even if we don’t ever get married and run off into the sunset, I’ll make sure you know it.

The next morning, I woke up to the sun shining in through the balcony and the phone ringing in my ear. But I also had this little angel in my arms, so I wasn’t going to complain. And she didn’t even budge. Damn, Vanessa. Heavy sleeper. That might be a good thing. But I grabbed the phone. Sleep well, kariña. Sleep well, “Yeah?”

“There’s a call for you at the front desk, Mr. Mendoza…”

“Alright.” Who the hell would be trying to call me? And who would know I’m here? It might have been the Old Man, so it’s not like I could say no, “I’ll be down in a minute.”

Click.

“Frankie…?” Dammit, Old Man. You woke the baby, “Where are you going?”

“I’ll be right back,” I promised, “I need to go take a call at the front desk, ok? Then, I think you and I could stand to get some breakfast. Sound good?”

“Yeah,” Vanessa smiled, shutting her eyes again, “I’ll be waiting.”

“I sure as hell hope so,” I giggled, “I take you somewhere like this and you bail? That’s just dirty, Vanessa.”

“Go, asshole,” she laughed with me, “Don’t keep the Old Man waiting.”

She got it. She understood. I’ll keep her around. For as long as I can. I threw my pants back on and headed downstairs. What could the Old Man want from me now? He knows I’m here with Vanessa. He’s not trying to cockblock me. Which had me curious. What happened? When I got to the lobby, I grabbed the phone at the front desk, “Hello?”

“Get. Home. Now.” Wait a minute. That wasn’t the Old Man. How in the fuck would César know I’m here? But by the sounds of things, he’s pissed.

“What’s going on?” I knew better than to freak. But César knows I’m with Vanessa, too. And he wouldn’t cockblock me unless absolutely necessary.

“We had cops on our front door this morning, Frankie,” César filled me in, “And it was after Mama went to work. They said something about a missing persons report and that there’s a chance it could’ve been a kidnapping. So, they came knocking on our door. Care to explain why that might have been?”

“I…”

“You know what?” César was beyond pissed. He was at that scary calm place he got to when his anger could level a small village, “Tell me when you get here and I’ll explain what happened then.”

Click.

Oh, yeah. César’s pissed. But why the hell would cops be on our door for a kidnapping charge? None of us would even think about it. But I needed to get some things set straight. And only one person (who didn’t want me burned at the stake) could do that, “Excuse me…”

“Yes, sir?” Aww…It wasn’t the cute receptionist from last night. But I’ll take this one, too, “Can I help you?”

“Do you mind if I make a quick call on your phone, please?” I asked.

“Of course,” she allowed, “Go ahead.”

“Thank you,” I punched in the Old Man’s number.

“Hello?” the Old Man answered.

“Hey, Old Man,” I winced, “It’s Frankie. Shit might be getting messy. And I might be in need of some help.”

“What kind of help?” he wondered.

“Apparently, I had cops on my door this morning,” I explained, “I don’t know too many details, but shit might be going down soon.”

“Alright,” the Old Man backed off, “Keep me posted. And be careful, kid. I’ll stay by the phone today.”

“Thanks, Old Man.” That made me feel a little better. I’ll take it.

“That’s what I’m here for, Frankie,” he assured me, “You were right to call. And if you need someone to take care of it, let me know.”

“I will.”

Click.

What the hell went down at my house this morning? Regardless, I needed to grab the girl and get out of here before something like that happens here. I don’t need to be leaving somewhere like this with a girl like her in handcuffs. The elevator music on the way back up only pissed me off. Who the fuck would be sending cops to our door because of a kidnapping? Anyone that knew us would know better. We wouldn’t do something so stupid. Everyone that was ever with us was always with us willingly.

When I went back to the room, Vanessa was sitting up in bed, flipping through the TV channels, “So, what did the Old Man want?”

“We have to go,” I hated tearing her away from this, but unfortunately, we had to split.

“Is everything ok?” Vanessa jumped out of bed, following me out.

“No.” I didn’t want to get her involved, but it looks like Vanessa was about to get involved. Although, once we got in the elevator, I took her hand, “Some shit’s going down back home. Do you want me take you home or are you going to walk through the shit with me?”

“I’ll go with you,” she didn’t even hesitate, “I do not want to go back home yet. Not until I know there’s an empty house.”

“Alright.” If I’m not careful, I might be marrying this girl.

And so, we got back in the Old Man’s town car and headed back to Williamsburg. Vanessa held onto my arm the whole way back. She’s just as worried as I was. I don’t know if I should be all warm and fuzzy inside because she cares or be pissed at myself for putting her in this situation in the first place. I did give her the option, though. She didn’t have to do this.

[asterekmess]

S3A - E3

Hiya, back with another episode of the rewatch. I am...not looking forward to this episode. *deep breath* here we go.

Read More’s save sanity

Hey, so I know this is a really heavy first bullet point...but isn’t anybody else uncomfortable with the image of a black boy running around out of his mind with fury and bloodlust and going after little...white kids? Am I reading too much into this? I know Cora’s running around too. I just...whatever, I’m just gonna keep my mouth shut.

Straight from way too heavy to way too light. So that girl dropped a big jar of fireflies, but they say that fireflies that actually glow aren’t native to California, which would mean these are part of the whole magic thing going on, and at the end of the whole firefly thing they get rid of all the fireflies. So...what if someone finds that jar and opens it?

...nevermind the jar opened up somehow...

Okay, listen, I have a petty and biased hatred for this moment with Scott. Like...is it so hard to say, “I had to get the kids he was chasing away from him?” It’s not like they don’t have time..they just stand there in silence for a while. I also hate the savior pose he strikes there with the kids clinging to him. Like, I get that it’s a very common trope. I still hate it. I use the anti-scott tag for a reason, let me be salty.

why te fuck does Scott FLOAT in the intro?

Lydia has seriously emptied an entire bottle of ibuprofen? She should be dead. Or at least at a hospital. She’s too smart not to know how dangerous it is to take ibuprofen (even the recommended dosage) for too long at a time.

Lydia...Lydia knows about werewolves now. Did no one tell her about this whole escape plan for the betas? She could’ve helped.

Cue the shitty SFX running. Y’all look ridiculous.

Man, come on. Are you seriously telling me that Derek never played hide and seek with his siblings? Like, they’re werewolves for fuck’s sake. Derek never did fake chases through the woods? He tracked PETER for christ’s sake, all the way across town. He was like yards behind him before he got shot that one time.

This show relies a lot on character’s losing time and just finding themselves places. Jackson losing time, Lydia losing time. Lydia losing time again, but in a new way. Later, it’ll be Stiles losing time. I’m just saying, it happens a lot.

It’s fucking august in California. Does it actually get that cold? Poor Lydia’s nose is always red cus she gets forced to wander around in the dark and freezing. I can see her goosebumps when she kneels next to the pool.

I know it’s gotta be hell on her voice, but I think it’s so interesting the way Lydia screams and how it has to jump around the chords before hitting that one note. I don’t know why I find that so interesting. Guess it just reminds me of a wolf howl. Seriously, look ‘em up. Weirdly similar. GO  Holland!

What do you mean the last memory that she had of her mother, Scott? You should’ve told her RIGHT THEN. Right off the bat. There was TONS of time between her getting bit and when she died. You should’ve told Allison right away. Fuck you, you had all of spring break!

god fucking damn it now I’m crying again. Erica, sweetie...Derek honey...

I’m trying to get past the tears to enjoy this romancey stuff, with the candles and the lil lamps, and the LOTR references. I’m really trying.

This is totally not what I should be thinking about while watching the two of them make out, but like, so does Caitlin not go to their school? She just sort of appears a couple times, but Stiles doesn’t seem to know her. Maybe she went to the same school as Heather?

don’t like bugs don’t like bugs ew ew ew ew

Hi cora!

Isaac! You’re somehow feeling better, even though you were apparently out of commission like an hour or two ago...wait huh?

I gotta say, okay, listen I just can’t help it. I know this is serious, but that lil smirk on Isaac’s face? I don’t think he looks smug, personally, I think he looks like he’s about to go play, go rolling around in the grass and leaves, playing with a pack member. He’s been alone for so long this summer, what with Jackson leaving. he’s had no wolves to play with (cus’ we know Derek’s a grump). As worried as he’s gotta be, I bet he’s having funnnnnn.

I..uh..Cora what sound is coming out of your mouth? That..that does not sound like a wolf. That sounds like a wild cat of some kind. Wolves don’t make that screechy noise. They bark and growl, like the sound that came just before. That doesn’t even sound like a roar. Who gave you cheetah sounds?? You’re canine, not feline. Come on they did SO WELL with Derek’s sounds-- No. NO Do not tell me they gave Cora cat sounds cus she’s a chick. I’m gonna fight someone. (For those of you interested, if you scroll to the bottom of this webpage, you can listen to wolf growl snippets and they’re such good quality (I think the bark snippet is broken tho). Listen to those whimpers and whines too, fucking fascinating. I love wolves. Such beautiful animals.)

Cora with Isaac and Scott attacking her and growling at her: “Fuck you, I’ll bite you!” Cora with Derek just growling at her: “BYE bro!”

Stiles, honey! I missed you! Literally, just the sound of your voice makes me feel better.

Scott, Seriously, Derek just said you haven’t tracked either of them anywhere near the pool. You’ve both been following them all night! Yeah, they’re dangerous, but they couldn’t get to the pool and back in time to fight you! I”M GONNA SMACK YOU. DOn’t use that fucking patronizing tone of voice when Derek is TELLING YOU FACTS.

OUR fault? OUR FAULT? I’m gonna fucking *kicks a chair and storms off, grumbling* *Spins around, cus fuck it i’m gonna yell. it’s my post.* NONE OF THIS is DEREK”S FAULT. NOne of this is ISAAC’S FAULT. Fuck dude, I’ll even say that it’s not Scott’s fault! If it’s anyone other than the Alphas’ fault, it’s Allison’s, but tbf she thought she was helping.

DEREK SHUT YOUR PRETTY MOUTH. I swear to god.

ARE YOU FUCKING JOKING? DEREK WOULD NEVER SUGGEST MURDERING BOYD AND CORA. NEVER. He thought Cora was fucking dead and he just found out she’s alive! HE WOULD NEVER. NEVER. FUCK YOU. FUCK EVERYTHING. *Throws a plate* YOU KNOW YOU ONLY FUCKING WROTE IT SO THAT YOU COULD SHOW OFF SCOOT MCFUCKFACE’S SUDDEN FLIP IN MORALITY BY HAVING HIM SAY THAT “KILLING ISN’T THE RIGHT THING TO DO” OH REALLY Scott? REALLY? Killing is bad? YOU DIDN’T THINK SO WHEN YOU SPENT MONTHS attempting to commit PREMEDITATED MURDER of a GUY WHO WAS ALREADY DYING. MONTHS. Scott. FUCK YOU. FUCK THIS SHOW. 13 minutes in and I’m already about to chuck my laptop across the room. MY CAT WON’T EVEN CUDDLE ME ANYMORE I’M SO ANGRY.

And now I’m really fucking sad, cus’ I hate watching this poor girl get told she’s just hallucinating.

WHY does everyone go shopping at fucking 8 pm in Beacon Hills? What...Chris you don’t even have a day job.

I don’t...I don’t understand this scene with Isaac. Like..what exactly are they trying to imply? That he thinks she’s hot? All he’s seen is her raging around with fangs free and glowing eyes. And yeah, some people definitely think that’s hot. But like...that’s just so...what? I choose to read this scene as him just wondering about Derek’s home life. Like, “Since when do you have siblings? Why don’t you tell me these things? I have an aunt?”

WHAT DO YOU mean “Your world?” CHRIS YOU GREW UP AS A HUNTER. THIS IS YOUR WORLD TOO. He was YOUR dad. You’ve been a part of this WAY longer than Scott! Don’t blame the werewolves for ruining your life! THAT WAS YOUR DAD and YOUR STUPID HUNTER CODE’S FAULT.

OKay, listen, I have so many issues with this I need a therapist to mediate my conversations with it. FUCK YOU TW for bringing in Chris. I dont’ give a fuck if he’s experienced or trying to redeem himself. He is a HUNTER he has Slaughtered Derek’s kind for his entire life. He may want to do the right thing, but the right thing definitely doesn’t involved him Standing in front of Derek and forcing him to listen to hunter PROPAGANDA BULLSHIT. I’M SO FUCKING MAD. This was so inappropriate, holy shit. SO far beyond okay. Even the CONCEPT that werewolves wouldn’t be as good at tracking other werewolves as hunters are is fucking stupid. You said it yourself, Chris they can follow scent up to TWO MILES AWAY. Wolves can track their prey for weeks without losing the scent. Just because Isaac stepped on some footprints doesn’t mean he’s incapable of finding them. And what’s all this shit about them “Being able to rely on their human half”? NO? First off, minor detail. Werewolves aren’t half wolf, half human, dumbass. They’re all werewolf. AND The show has said like Ten TIMES that they can’t access their human form/the thought processes they would normally have during a full moon without an anchor, and Boyd and Cora are effectively anchorless on this moon. This is just utter bullshit and I’m so goddamn angry I don’t even know how to process it. “If you’re not trained like me you have no idea this print is Boyd’s” YEAH THEY DO. THEY CAN LITERALLY SMELL IT.  DEREK ALREADY IDENTIFIED THE TRACKS. FUCK you.

ALSO. Getting REAL SICk of people slicing their wrists every time they need a little blood for a ritual or for bait. YOU CUT THE MEAT of the arm. ON THE BACK. WHERE YOU WON”T HIT a VEIN. DUMBASSES.

WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK DO YOU MEAN NINE YEARS DEREK? YOU’D BETTER MEAN CORA WAS NINE YEARS OLD, CUS’ THE FIRE WAS SIX YEARS AGO. and what do you mean you don’t have a lock on her scent? you’ve been following it just fine all night! Wolves remember human scents decades later.

Booooo, i hate the entire concept of wolves going mad on a full moon. It’s lazy and boring. Wolves are not vicious animals, they’re shy as fuck. THey don’t attack without reason. Werewolves should be the same. Full moon’s enhance their wolfishness, so it should make them MORE SHY. The moon should enhance whatever they feel, rather than just making them mindlessly aggressive.

“Primal apex Predatory satisfaction”? seriously? Shut the FUCK up Chris, I’m really fucking sick of your hunter bedtime stories.

....i hate this woman.

Casual reminder that Isaac wouldn’t suggest Killing boyd. Ever. I fucking hate these writers.

yeah yeah, running scene. blah blah blah.

See, I never really understood those fics where Peter just refuses to give anyone any info. He tells Derek what’s up constantly. He didn’t lie or hold anything back when he helped Derek figure out what was up with Jackson or how Jackson needed Lydia to be cured. He walks right up to Derek and says “Hey, so those Alphas clearly want you to join them and that means they’re trying to make you kill your own pack” Peter helps Derek all the time. He’s just a dick while he does it.

Look, I love this moment with Peter, his “Let Scott be the hero of his morally black and white world. You and I, we live in shades of gray” lines are so good, and they speak so much to his character and personality. And he’s right. But I hate that they built the scene around Derek planning to kill his own pack, and following Scott around doing as he asks. I just hate what they do to Derek here.

The dog whistles suddenly have no effect on their hearing? Love it.

Take a second to bring up a plotline you won’t explain for ages. I vibe with that, so long as it is eventually explained.

OOh, suddenly BHHS has a football field?

Not gonna cry, not gonna cry. FUCK I’m crying again.

I just...dude I’m over here trying not to completely lose my shit and cry like a baby, and Stiles is in the middle of panicking and losing his oldest friend and he still puts the dots together. Like. Jesus christ this boy.

NOW Derek? You choose NOW to take Every Single Step down the stairs? JUMP.

...what is this a cartoon? Glowing eyes in the dark? one too many sets? Yeah, yeah, I get it, they’re supposed to look like fireflies.

Why did you stop to look at each other after blasting them? Just go.

OH, yeah, of course Scott has to be the one to hear the extra heartbeat. Scott. Not Derek. Not the ALpha who’s senses are heightened above the a Beta’s. Not DEREK the ALPHA who has a PACK, which makes his senses even stronger that that. No. Scott. The omega. Because he’s like an inch closer to the door. Yah. Sure. That makes sense. SUre.

Dude I wish my high school had that much backup supplies free for the teacher’s to grab. Also, I hate this woman.

WHy were the lights off in the boiler room if she was in the back grabbing stuff? That..what?

OH. I forgot, so Caitlin’s out of high school? She’s...what, 18? 19? Okay, fine, I’ll take that.

Oh stop faking Jennifer, fuck you.

Crying again. dont’ mind me. This is Derek. Not choosing to kill his beta or his long lost sister. Choosing to die himself instead. THAT is Derek (it’s self-sacrificing and it’s because he gives his own life no worth, but it’s still him.)

HOW IS IT DAWN? THAT WOULD BE like 6 HOURS of standing around! Or did the sun not set until like 10 pm? Hm? This show has no concept of time, and werewolves are very time oriented. Someone take away the show from the writers. They’ve lost their privileges.

I hate this. I hate that Isaac shouts for Scott. Not Derek. That’s just so fucking dumb. I’m so tired of it. I’m just so fucking sick of it.

I don’t even wanna look at this. I hate this woman so much.

YOU REALIZE that the third Virgin was Taken. The third virgin is DEAD. the sacrifices have been made, and now Jennifer has control over people. This is where she starts controlling Derek. Right Fucking Here. He loses his agency the moment they touch, if not the moment they make eye contact or he gets in range. I hate it. I HATE IT.

BOOM. Episode three, and Stiles already has the villain after next figured out. He’s past the Alphas now. 

Final Thoughts: I’m angry, I’m tired, and I honestly got very little joy or interest out of this whole episode. I hate what this show did to werewolves and how much insane Scott glorification there is and how every little thing HAS to be about Scott. Scott’s relationship with Chris. Scott saving the kids. Scott’s the one Isaac calls for. Scott’s the one who hears the heartbeats. I get that he’s the main character. I also hate that he’s the main character. It’s just so sad and pathetic and boring and just....ugh. I’m going to bed. I will try for another episode or two tomorrow.

(I promise I’m okay. Just go listen to the wolf howls for me in that link, huh? Listen to those beauties and imagine how amazing a wolf show could have been.)