#for both themselves and for others
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me, a person who loves black and white solutions, yes or no answers, and clear right or wrong decisions, yet keeps willingly choosing jobs where everything is highly subjective
#pickle pontificates#if you knew me like I know me you would Not think my two main things should be writing and human interaction#the amount of times I have gone to check on a writing-related thing and the answer is (shrug emoji)#or a professional is like ''man idk'' or ''you think I memorize all that?'' or ''so and so says this but I hate him so just don't do it''#and I'm like why am I here. I should be doing math#(I am aware math gets weird the farther you take it but it's a different kind of weird)#why did I pick a field where the answer is always ''it depends'' without fail#but it's because attempting to wrangle things with subjective rules into something functional is an alluring battle to me#and also it's probably good for my character development#you can see that I'm clearly comfortable enough to post an egregious sentence fragment on the internet#I would not have been brave enough for that ten years ago#and I do think getting comfortable with dissonance imperfection and subjectivity is one of the most important things a person can do#for both themselves and for others
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"superman is overrated" "no batman is overrated" they both are. and with your help, we can finally kill them ! by signing up for just a small monthly donation to me, Lex Luthor,
#also superman would tell you that superman is overrated and batman would tell you that batman is overrated#so again. really a standstill. why pit these two white men against each#other ... they'd BOTH kill themselves for you if asked ...
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incrumbsiderate
#ethan winters#mia winters#mithan#rose winters#rosemary winters#T4T MITHANN!!!!!!!!!!!!#chris redfield#chris is trying to stand up for mia#waow... what a strong and independent woman.........#mia was about to bite chris head off#my favorite dynamic is chris and mia absoulutely hating each other but restraining themselves because they both mutually like ethan
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QUICK NO ONE'S LOOKING
(See readmore for thoughts, cope, bonus, etc.)
Anyone else up thinking about Ratio's big, strong, secure arms and how warm and all-consuming they could be in a hug or embrace. :/ Anyway
I just wanted to draw them being cute and seizing a sliver of a moment where they could have some PDA silly time without actually having any eyes on them. They're public figures and working adults with very clear boundaries between public persona and private life (to varying degrees of "in a sad way"), so while it may be in Aventurine's nature to constantly blur lines for various agendas and self-preservation (read: play "the flirt" without an aligned goal), I believe that in an actual relationship they'd be fairly private.
It's kind of fun to break your own rules, though! Ratio would be more upset about the consequences, though. He's a little bit of a hypocrite, which is devastating for someone of such discipline, but nobody's perfect.
I'm of the mentality of, "If you're tired of working on it, then just post it!", so here are some fun peripherals that I didn't feel like adding:
Some staff in the background sweeping up to evoke a blended sense of fragile privacy and liminal time.
A laptop on the aquarium/bar/counter because there's something fascinating about seeing people on their work laptops in public.
The rest of their clothes (casual friday)
#hsr#dr. ratio#aventurine#aventio#ratiorine#my art#hsr fanart#there's nothing profound about this I just like drawing cute fluff. I'm having fun with my Gay Working Adults Romance#epic universe! still have to get on a conference call with ten people kind of thing#i'm always thinking about how both of them control the personality they convey very meticulously#how it's a survival mechanism for aventurine but some... other thing for ratio....#it's practicality and discipline and ideals.#it's also ''midnight on a sunday'' so i am going to schedule this to post at a ''normal hour''#and then ''go to bed''#what wip do i work on next. the answer is probably nothing i've already started#my art: hsr#aventurine doing his evil flirting thing to rile people up 🤝 ratio trying to ''be in character'' on the IPC broadcast and making his and#aventurine's work partnership ''seem blurry and messy''#= manufactured youtuber drama#they're going home and ratio's going to bake some fish dude!!!! aventurine is LLLLLLITERALLLYYYYY turning on the radio#and helping him peel carrots.#and most importantly#they are NOT googling themselves ���
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s9 noodles and leftovers
#drew these all today! It’s a Christmas miracle#recently rediscovered skylor. she’s very important to me#like for those few weeks or whatever when all they had were the leftovers and then they saved the world and then they saved each other#again sooooo stupid silly brick characters but also. they were all they had. pretty sure that does something to a friend dynamic#something something found family finds families yadda yada. I think both Lloyd pix and Nya all see themselves in her. I think pix especially#The latest outsider of the group and the newest :)#anyway merry Christmas#skylor is so bad at family game night she’s never done that shit in her life#she thinks everyone are making up rules on the fly to mess with her. she is right!#ninjago#ninjago lloyd#lloyd gardamon#my art#ninjago nya#nya smith#ninjago skylor#skylor chen#ninjago jay#ninjago cole#ninjago zane
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PENELOPE FEATHERINGTON transitioning into Bridgerton blues
#bridgertonedit#tvedit#perioddramaedit#bridgertonblr#dailybridgerton#userteresa#userseeleybooth#tusereste#bridgerton#penelope featherington#she also has those two grey dresses which stand out specifically bc they're not part of the transition#she wears them at the market and then the day of their first kiss#so i think the grey symbolizes her losing hope and how that loss of hope allows for colin and pen to be more themselves than they normally#allow. like how they're both putting on performances but when they take those performances off with and only with each other...#that's when the magic happens!#mine#greatest hits
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ruin me all you want, i don't mind if it's you.
#this caption applies for both of them dontcha think uwu#they'd ruin themselves for each other#like they ruin all of us......#i hope i gave u smth to crie about lmao#satosugu#jujutsu kaisen#geto suguru#gojo satoru#stsg#jjk#jjk fanart#look at geto's flowy hair he's a true disney princess loool#meanwhile gojo's hair is a pain to draw askfhnsij
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two sides of the same coin
#itadori yuuji#ryomen sukuna#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#my art#jujutsu kaisen fanart#brainrot incoming (pls don’t mind me)#one thing sukuna and yuuji have in common is that they’re both absolutely miserable#sukuna is utterly selfish and yet it only made him hollow inside and now he’s just killing time waiting for death to come#yuuji is completely selfless and yet it’s only made him suffer and bc of that he’s been constantly trying to check out of life#and I think the funniest but also the most painful thing about these two is that…#despite that they’re vastly opposite they might be the only people that can understand each other the most#imagine them having a heart to heart lol maybe then they would realise some things about themselves
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9 days, 12 dead.
#just a small quick comic of your typical fight between lovers. they never admitted so#reiterating my thoughts on ww to be the type to cry out of frustration like a child bcs he doesn't know how to deal w his emotion#(only bcs he never had the chance to sort that out)#i think he'd be an angry crier as bad as vash or even worse#ppl (and wolfwood himself) just never knew bcs he doesn't show it until [VASH THE STAMPEDE] and then it shows a LOT#crying competition: wolfwood wins#a fight where both of them are not even mad at each other but themselves...#ww for letting himself love to the point of murder (vash hates that) vs vash for letting himself be loved to the point of murder...#does this even make sense#trigun#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#vashwood#trigun maximum#myuminjiart
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if i had a nickel for every time i drew grif and locus with a pomegranate i’d have two nickels which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice
#YOU TWO. IN THE MICROWAVE. NOW !#i am so sick of them aughhhghhgg they are best friends to me. they both hate themselves but also they can help heal and accept each other#DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE VISION#just two guys sharing fruit or whatever#guys. i really am proud of this one. i am cringe but i am free.#rvb#red vs blue#my art#dexter grif#rvb locus#samuel ortez#logrif
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smoke and mirrors
#trigun#nicholas d wolfwood#vash the stampede#vashwood#tsunosagun art#ok adding to the tags cuz i unironically love explaining my own art bfnejfs#smoke cuz literal smoke but i also wanted to have a sense of ephemerality#and mirrors cuz of how they both see themselves in each other (but in such different ways) and it drives me bonkers#also in case it isnt clear thats ww's hand but still vash's body in the smoke in the 2nd pic..#taking comfort in the idea that their similarities mean its like he carries ww within himself.. still there even if only figuratively
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Hmmm just gonna spit this headcanon out in text post form since A. I don't think I could exposit it well enough in image form and B. It's not actually textually/thematically substantiated and I don't like actually staking my stuff on just vibes alone*
But anyway. I'd say it's pretty evident that all the islanders forgot their names, right? King obviously. Because why the hell else would he do that, but also Siffrin No Middle Names No Last Name.
They're 'pretty sure' they've 'always' been 'Just Siffrin' 'as long as they can remember'. It's a pretty cruel twist of the knife to say that they don't even get to keep their birth name as a memento, which is why I'm saying as such.
My utterly unsubstantiated claim is I think it'd be cute to say that Sisyphus *is* the name Siffrin initially picked, assuming the myth of King Sisyphus is recontextualised as idk, just a play or something in the setting. But I like the idea of Siffrin going 'oh shit 🫵 he's just like me fr' at a tortured fictional character long before the irony kicks in.
As for how Sisyphus -> Siffrin. I think that chronic mumbler and emotional doormat Sif just did not correct people who misheard the name during their time travelling, and went through enough places with incompatible phonologies (pronounceable sounds in the language) without ever really writing it down that it just got kinda. Changed until it was unrecognisable, and Siffrin just went with it until the earlier pronunciations slipped out of their swiss-cheese brain. And they just kinda don't remember any of that.
Also, something something the horrid realisation that Siffrin also named themselves after a King. Just not as blatantly.
*(though I think there's something here about Siffrin, a guy from a belief system that seems to thoroughly disincentivise autonomy and self-motivated choice continuously having their hand forced to make changes/choices they don't want but have no choice but to... It's not solid enough to really back this up tbh, but it informs it.)
Anyway.
#theres also something one of my french-speaker friends said about siffrin's official pronounciation being the feminine way to pronounce -in?#which i dont know enough about to really corroborate and theyre busyyyy and havent started the game yet so i cant really ask#im sure someone else has already voiced this easy-to-come-up-with headcanon anyway but just in case nobody has i decided to post it#isat#isat spoilers#in stars and time#isat siffrin#isat loop#i also personally picture sif (and loop especially) being more hostile to the concept of changing themselves after The Encounter#both of them being big grudge-holders and that 'want' to control your own destiny being clearly against how they interpret the universe#as for whether they should be so hostile? probably not! but they appear to be anxious in fear of some kind of divine retribution should#they like. ever even dare to Want. and uh. well. that certainly went well for Loop. not sure they'd be gung-ho to do it again#so Loop being able to go 'oh well it wasn't my REAL name' as a salve for having to make a new identity AGAIN....#while sif is explicitly clinging to it as an anchor for Who They Are If Nothing Else.. they can upset each other and also mirabelle i think#lucabytetalks
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Percabeth in a battle:
perfectly synchronized, it’s them against the world, fighting each others battle as well as their own, have a secret unspoken code while batting, back-to-back whirlwind of terror
Solangelo in battle:
Will: carrying a stretcher with injured camper across the battlefield with Kayla
Nico: summoning an army of skeletons to absolutely destroy an enemy
Will: (shouting) You’re gonna burn out!
Nico: (yelling back) No you!
Kayla: these bitches.
#pjo#pjo hoo toa#percabeth#solangelo#will solace#nico di angelo#percabeth are the married couple that have their weapons hidden in their partners armor#Like Percy will blast someone with water and then turn around and Annabeth is behind him and stabs the same guy#No one can get past them#And solangelo is over there annoying the hell out of each other and everyone around them#Separately they’re extremely helpful/deadly#But together they can’t get anything done because they’re both stubborn and care more about making sure the other is safe than themselves
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Steve can see it in Max. That same loneliness and ache that he finds in himself. For him, it’s result of his parents leaving with no intent to return to him unless absolutely necessary.
He knows he was an accident. Or rather a mistake as his father used to call him when he was particularly angry. But it made sense to him. Steve's the reason his father had to marry his mother. He left him "trapped." And maybe no one says it out loud, but he can tell his mother feels the same way too.
But they must keep up appearances, right?
Which is what Max has been trying to do since Billy died, El moved away, and it's been just her and her mom. But she's been going about it through a different route - pushing people away all while pretending things are fine. But Steve sees the way she picks up the broken pieces of her mom and tries to put them back together - Steve's had to do the same thing before.
So, he starts sticking around a little longer. Offering her more rides to the arcade and around town to pick up groceries when she needs to. Sometimes he'll tell her about a new recipe he's been trying for a casserole and pick up the ingredients, pretending like the milk and butter he bought will spoil by the time he drives home from her trailer.
Of course, they both know it's a lie, but Max humors him and plays along. She'll let him cook dinner while she picks up the bottles her mom left on the floor, dumps out the overflowing ashtray, and feeds the dog. Usually, Steve will ask her what she's learning in school and linger a little longer than usual in hopes that she'll say more than the usual, "I don't know. A bunch of boring stuff."
But lingering has gotten a lot of things out of Max such as her love for Kate Bush, a story about El and how much she misses her, and short quips about Lucas before she gets a sad smile on her face. Steve doesn't really know what to say most of the time, but he hopes that just being there will help.
Unfortunately, lingering and just being there has led him to his current predicament of none other than Eddie "The Freak" Munson sitting on the hood of his car glaring at him as he walks out of Max's place. Steve jumps a little, startled by the figure on his car and becoming more hostile as he sees the expression on his face. He shoves his hands in his pockets and slows his pace. "Is there a problem?"
Eddie snorts humorlessly. "Christ. You're really going to pretend like there's nothing wrong with what's happening?"
Steve's brows furrow, entirely missing whatever point he's trying to make.
Eddie stands up and stalks toward him. "I see you, you know. Always lurking around when her mom isn't home. Coming out of her trailer late at night."
Steve laughs, finally understanding the absurd conclusion he's come to. "Jesus, man. You're delusional."
Steve doesn't expect it, but Eddie sharply shoves his chest and grits, "I don't fucking lie to me, Harrington."
Steve holds his hands up. "I'm not," he firmly states. "Nothing like that is happening here. I'm glad you're looking out for her, but it isn't like that."
"Do you expect me to believe that? Maybe this is why you're always hanging around Henderson and the other kids."
Steve crosses his arms and his jaw tenses. "I'm not a fucking pervert or a pedophile if that's what you're trying to say. I'm just looking after them."
"Why?" Eddie asks, dramatically opening his arms, "Why would King Steve adopt a group of misfits to take under his wing? See, the math isn't adding up."
Usually, Steve would just brush it off and tell the person to fuck off and mind their own business. But his parents have just left town again without leaving a note and Max had snapped when Steve tried to help her clean the place because it looked worse than usual, and he was just generally feeling like shit and angry at his parents and Max's parents for not being there. So he broke, "Because I don't want Max to end up like me! I don't want any of those kids to grow up without a role model. And god forbid if any of those other kids' parents fuck up, and they’re left with only me. I need them to know that I'm there for them! Because sometimes it feels like whenever the world goes to shit, I'm the only one who is there, and I plan to stay there, okay?!"
He finishes his rant breathing a little heavier than usual and noticing that a few of the lights in the trailers have turned on around them. He looks around and awkwardly nods to the people glaring out their windows. God, he needs to get a grip.
When he turns back to Eddie, he notices the conflicted expression, jaw dropped, eyebrows knitted together, eyes searching him as if he's still wondering if he's lying.
A door creaks open behind them and Steve curses under his breath as he hears Max say, "Eddie, leave him alone. Do you really think I would hook up with my damn babysitter? Jeez."
"Language," Steve quietly lectures as the door swings shut. He runs his hands over his face and takes a deep breath. It's been a long fucking day.
A hand lands on his arm and tugs him away from Max's trailer. Steve glances up at Eddie, leading him across the way. "Where are we going?"
"My place," Eddie says.
"Why?"
"So we can talk."
God, the last thing he wants to do is talk to Eddie of all people, the guy he's been actively avoiding since Dustin started worshipping the ground - or rather tables - he walks on. But he lets himself be pulled away in the trailer and practically deposited on the couch in the living room.
He glances up and comments, "That's a lot of mugs."
"My uncle's, but that's not what I wanted to... Christ," Eddie says, pacing in front of Steve and tugging his hair in front of his face. The anxious display makes Steve feel even more tired, but he lets him pace. God, what is he even doing here?
"I'm sorry," Eddie blurts out. "I'm just..." he trails off and rushes over to grab a stool a few feet away before dragging it in front of the couch. He sits on it but his leg still holds that nervous energy as it rapidly bounces up and down. "I jumped to conclusions, and it was really shitty of me, man. I just... didn't believe what Henderson was saying about you and thought 'Oh, this makes way more sense than Steve Harrington being a good dude.' And I'm sorry to accuse you of that. And I... I didn't know about your... parents and stuff. Like I knew they were away a lot because of your parties but... I just never connected the dots. And I'm sorry. No one deserves that shit, man."
Steve doesn't know what to do this whole interaction, especially with it coming from Eddie Munson who he doesn't think he's ever talked to before this moment, but... he needs to hear it. God, he needs to hear it.
Of course, he can't let him know this, so he does what he's best at and brushes it off. "It's fine. You were just looking out for the kids. And really just ignore what I said back there, it isn't that big of a deal."
Eddie worries his bottom lip before he blurts out, "I know what it's like." He pauses and takes a deep breath. "I mean, I know what it's like to have... absent parents. But in my case, eventually, my uncle Wayne took me in, and I can only imagine if he didn't." He gives him a pointed look and lowers his voice, "Do you have someone like that?"
A big part of Steve wants to leave right now, and he knows there's nothing stopping him. But a bigger part of him needs to stay. Needs to talk about the emptiness in his house that he can never truly escape at the end of the day that he can’t talk to anyone about. Because he's not supposed to be weak. He's supposed to take care of the others. So he admits, "No, I don't have... anyone like that. Except Robin but..."
"That's different," Eddie finishes the thought for him.
Steve nods. He loves Robin, but he loves her as a platonic soulmate and not as a parent figure in his life. "You know, I once had this basketball coach in middle school - Mr. Weston. And I remember looking up to him so much. I wanted to be just like him, and I would go to his office during lunch and ask him for advice or talk about dumb shit that my father would never talk about. But he never shamed me for my questions. And sometimes he even packed an extra dessert for me." Steve smiles at the memories and runs a hand through his hair, remembering the day he got the news. "But one time, when I went to his office, he had this look on his face. And I just knew it was bad news. And really, it wasn't bad news to him because his wife was pregnant. But she wanted to move a few states away to raise the kid closer to her family. And it wasn't his fault, you know? It wasn't like he purposely chose to move away from me, but I felt like I was abandoned again."
Steve wipes a tear from his eye and puts his head in his hands. "God, I don't know why I'm even telling you this story. Sorry."
"Don't apologize," Eddie says quickly. He pauses and shifts on the stool, his gaze being far away. "I remember him. He was one of the only gym teachers that defended me against all the shitty middle school bullies. He was a good person.”
Steve nods. God, he was a good person.
Eddie continues, “I'm sorry that he left. And I bet he still regrets leaving you behind."
Steve leans back against the couch and looks away, shaking his head. "I bet he forgot about me."
"You're kind of hard to forget."
Steve looks at Eddie and sees a slight blush on his cheeks as he shakes his head and waves his hands as if trying to make the comment go away. "What I mean is that there's no way he's forgotten about you. Someone who you used to have lunch with all the time to the point of giving you free food... Nah, man. He remembers you. I think you may have been as important to him as he was to you."
The thought breaks away at a wall Steve had built up long ago. "Thanks," he practically whispers.
Eddie just smiles at him, small dimples appearing on his cheeks.
"You didn't deserve it either, you know," Steve says. "The absent parent stuff. Even with Wayne, they should've been here too."
Eddie's smile falters a bit as he swallows and looks at the ground. "Thanks," he mumbles. He looks up at Steve and comments, "Getting sappy with Steve Harrington. Who knew."
"Yeah, getting sappy with Eddie Munson," Steve echoes back at him.
Eddie laughs, "I'm surprised you even know my name."
"You're kind of hard to forget," Steve says easily.
That same blush comes back to Eddie who shifts in his chair a bit as if he needs to process the information with his whole body.
They sit in the moment for a bit before Eddie gets a somewhat serious look on his face and offers, "You know, I'm definitely not a parent figure or anything, but I'm always here and around to talk about that whole thing if you need to."
Steve's heart beats a little faster at the sheer genuineness. "Same here," he can't help but offer in return. He glances down at his watch and sighs, "It's getting late, so I better..."
"Right," Eddie says, standing up and leading him to the door. "Do you need water for the road or anything?"
Steve smiles and pats him on the back without thinking too hard about it. "I'm good, man. But thank you. For everything really."
"Sorry for being an asshole," Eddie apologizes again.
"Usually that's my line," Steve accidentally voices before cringing a bit, wondering further why Eddie's been so kind to him.
But as he opens the door, Eddie comments, "I don't know. It seems like Dustin was right about the whole reformed jock thing. Maybe your crown really has fallen - which is a good thing by the way."
Steve slightly smiles at him before he turns to leave. But he can't help but say, "I wonder what the neighbors will think about me leaving your trailer so late."
Eddie groans then laughs. "Sorry to ruin your image."
"I wouldn't mind," Steve replies, honestly unsure what he means by that. "Goodnight, Eddie."
"Goodnight, Steve," Eddie says, that same blush on his cheeks, only this time Steve isn't sure if it's something he said or a result of the cold night air.
In bed that night, Steve feels a slight weight lifted from him and can't help but feel like he’s a little less alone.
#steddie#eddie munson#steve harrington#stranger things#steddie ficlet#leave it to Eddie to tell Steve the things he needs to hear#sometimes it just shakes me to the core when I realize how alike they are#like yes. they absolutely have their differences#but at the core they have similar experiences that they need to process#and really I think they need each other#because they’re both so willing to die for others and see the worth in everyone but themselves#but put them together and that worth goes back and forth#I just see them learning a lot from each other#and it’s a really beautiful thing#ANYWAYS#hi guys. thanks for sticking through that massive tag rant thing 💛
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feast (ID in alt)
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#tw blood#im posting this so late because october escaped me Suddenly.. hello....#i wanted to make it a photoset with this other vampire vw wip but i don't think i'm finishing it any time soon and the mood of it is#completely different anyway. also i don't think i ever shared anything about my vampire au on here !!! it's all old art by now so im shy lo#but maybe i'll do a photodump of it. long story short vash is a vampire since birth and ww is a human vampire hunter that turns during thei#travels together due to EoM experiments + getting vash to drink from him at some point.#humans turn once they get bitten but bc ww has been experimented on#& got bitten by a bunch of human turned vampires thruout his hunts he thought it wouldn't be a problem for vash to drink from him but alas.#theyre both ok though theyre traveling together definitely not hating themselves for what theyve become and feeling guilty for what theyve#done to each other. theyre completely normal about it. the biting part is really appealing to me in vampire aus so i draw it a lot but#in reality vash only drank from ww once and ww mightve done it twice under the realization he might actually die otherwise#since he wont drink from humans after being turned.... he's combatting the 5 stages of grief at all times#if this is all nonsense im sorry DMGKSDF I'M NOT good at explaining and this au came from nowhere in the depths of my mind its a mess#ruporas art
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Just remembered that Satan in the "A World of Our Very Own" devilgram says that he believes he was "born in order to meet MC" and it always sounded incredibly cheesy to me but then I thought about it a little more and--
Originally, Satan was just a small glimmer inside Lucifer's consciousness until Lucifer's wrath reached its peak with Lilith's death which, in turn, resulted in Satan's birth
MC is a direct descendant of Lilith after she was reborn as human
If it weren't for Lilith's death, neither of them would be here
Both of their existences are directly intertwined with one another, so in a way Satan's right
They have always been destined to be a part of each other's lives
#lilith's death is like a looming shadow that both are intrinsically tied together by#and that to this day shapes almost all moments of their lives#it's a shared pain that runs deep#yet neither of them ever actually experienced it for themselves#and yet they're the only ones that can fully understand the suffering it causes the other#i love satan & mc's relationship so mucchhhh#obey me#obey me swd#obey me satan#obey me lucifer#obey me lilith#obey me mc#mel's starry musings
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