#for better or worse (mostly worse) i give a shit about this franchise

[stillness138]

really tho when i finish the iceberg/conspiracy wall in some suitable to publish and possible to comprehend manner, it's over for cdpr.

it's all connected. all their mistakes and the game wild hunt could've been if they didn't constantly make the worse decision on hand. it actually is that simple; they did run out of time for most of act 3, they do have a teenage boy ass boner for triss, and they did make the climax of blood&wine a nonsense mess to justify an epic bossfight.

the answer for everything is a straight white man who wants to make money.

[ladymirdan]

I have always been on the fence about Female Space Marines, and that is mostly because I'm not happy with my own assigned gender (and the fact I like submissive men and dominant women and space marines are extremely sub almost all of them, fight me about it)

But like, seeing the outrage over female Custodes. I'm urging, no begging, GW to release them.

I want every crying, “lore expert” who never read a single book, but just binged some loretuber who read straight off a wiki that never held canon info in the first place, (man im heavily dyslexic and I have no spare time to speak off, but even I at least get the audiobooks), I want these dudes to just burn their armies in rage. (and leave the hobby, dont forgett that very important part)

“Dont make Warhammer political”, get the fuck out of here. 40k was created by a bunch of nerds so angry at Margaret Thatcher they created a satire so heavily influenced by Monthy Python that I'm convinced John Cleese got paid off in cool minis to keep him from suing them.

Warhammer didnt go woke, it was always made by the left. We look at the older stuff and forget that it was created in a different(worse) time, and they have consistently tried to do better.

Look at old Forum posts about Graham McNeill. “Wäääh, why is he always writing about women, communist cuck McNeill” (not those exact words but general sentiment)

Like, I give McNeill so much shit today for how all women he writes about face horrible fates (but to be fair, what men doesn't have a terrible fate too). But I have even forgotten that some of this stuff is about 25 years old.

Seeing Warhammers official page block people who acts out in the comments about this, seeing them double down on the fact thar Custodes can have any gender. Seeing authors of the franchise, new and old back all of this. Im feeling Vindicated.

Gods, I wish this is the last straw for the alt-rights too stupid to realise they are being satirized.

And in the famous words of Games Workshop:

[tamelee]

i just saw a posts about novels that went like

sarada told sasuke he has lipstick stain, sasuke tries to wipes it off and she says he doesn't have one and sakura doesn't wear lipstick.

how do they defend this novels with their lives? it confirms sasuke never kisses sakura and doesn't know if she wears lipstick or not and kisses someone else who wears lipstick. it also confirms naruto likes to wear lipstick XD.

Please. These novels are ridiculous. Kishimoto already confirmed they’ve never kissed in Gaiden. Twice. 

(* something nicer = meant the forehead poke)

Though I wouldn't believe anyone if they said they actually like these novels, because the story (or lack thereof) is complete shit, but it’s fine if they do. A good story isn't the intention unfortunately. I genuinely wish that people understood what exactly it is they are defending. I’m writing a post for someone who asked something regarding canon, but I need to take brakes from it because it pisses me off that this happens constantly to franchises— not just Naruto. 

And in this case it’s even worse, or perhaps it’s just a prime example, because Jun Esaka (writer for some of these novels) made such a fool of herself on twt by making it all too obvious what her intentions were by writing them. (If it wasn’t already obvious.) First, when people pointed out the many flaws, she admitted that it’s “just her story” and “just her interpretation” (she had only read 'Naruto' for the first time a few months before that), but when other ss-shippers started to defend her and said she was a better writer than Kishimoto (as there’s 0 love between SS when he writes), she basked in that glory and went along with it. Even to the point that she completely disrespected Kishimoto, the story, the craft, openly made fun of other characters (mostly Hinata) and ships like NH and demanded her other novels to be animated as well. It’s unprofessional af. And then when fans asked her for a nsfw novel for SS she agreed and told them to harass the company about it. (She didn’t say ‘harass’ exactly, but come on you can’t be that dense given their reputation with staff.)

What are they defending? 

How can you defend anything when the motive is so obviously just personal bias/gain and/or financial profit to a company where both in this case don’t give a shit about the original story. It's not about shipping though, it happens all the damn time to all my favorite franchises and I'm genuinely sick of it. And it's not even about a writer writing about what they want either because I already expected that, but Esaka did her absolute best to try and disprove the bond between Naruto and Sasuke and change narratives completely even for individual cases for the sake of telling her "story". SNS-moments weren’t romantic to her and she quite literally made fun of it by copying them in her story to point out its "irrelevance", but give them to her het-ship and now all of a sudden it is romantic???? She basically calls Kishimoto a liar because ‘Sasuke Retsuden’ in particular is a direct response to ‘Gaiden’ (made by Kishimoto). She blatantly tried to disprove anything he said and indicated about her ship. She wrote about characters that, yes, have the same name as those in ‘Naruto’, but are so out of character it hurts. It took me months to recover my lost braincells. 

I don't think my post about it is still up, but to name a few things in that novel if you're interested: Sasuke resents Naruto and his test-tube daughter because he’d rather travel with Sakura, his wife whom he loves so much. But he has to do stuff just because Hokage Naruto said so and his daughter wants to stay in Konoha so he has no choice but to comply. Being apart from his wife-(did we mention he loves her so much? because he does. so much.)- makes him feel so very lonely and he misses her body so much because he knows it so well. He fails to do anything other than being jealous about the women-deprived prisoners going after the new hot doctor, Sakura, who is his wife btw. that he loves a lot in case you missed it. and he rather stares at trees that remind him of her than helping his friend Naruto who’s apparently dying from his own chakra or whatever kind of bs. Sasuke lets himself be bullied by prison-guards that aren’t even Shinobi, for having long hair and looking like a girl, though Esaka makes sure to mention how so very handsome he is and he looks like a cat. Sasuke loses a battle against an overgrown lizard and tries the same damn jutsu 4 times(!!!!) before realizing it may actually not work, I think because he forgot how to fight, but he can however create anything from ice like Elsa (Frozen), or from dirt like some Gaara-hybrid to make Sakura a ring because he loves her so much ofc… oh and he’s now a healer too. Sasuke sacrifices people’s lives even when it’s not necessary at all bc ig Esaka thinks he's a killer, and also he wouldn’t mind being brought back with Edo Tensei if it means he can stay with Sakura, because fuck everything they’ve been through in the original story, yeah? They also immediately forgive the bad guy cuz he's so relatable even though he just murdered I dunno how many people. SS kiss while an injured Naruto is squished in between them because SS-shippers have some sort of “Naruto has to watch our ship being in love to really make it legit because that’ll learn him for getting in between!”-kink (that's real actually) and according to Esaka, Sasuke is so worried about his daughter and in fact did meet up with them during those 10+ years because he loves them oh-so-much and fuck you Kishimoto that’s why. 

Be so fr right now. It’s such a joke. And these are just the few things on the top of my head that I remembered ;-; ...

Again, what are they defending exactly? It would be nice to just have a genuine fan of the story write an actual story. No other motive other than "I really like the story and would love to explore some options while respecting Kishimoto's work because it'd be fun!" Except, that's unfortunately not very marketable and ffs it's just sad. (I know there's a Kakashi version and I personally really want to know more about his role as Hokage and what he's done etc, but alas.)

[jacksprostate]

Howdy jacksprostate can you give us some thoughts on the narrators father/upbringing? Im curious on how you interpret what the book/movie gave us in terms of his absent dad

Also i love ur posts btw and thank you for replying to like all of my fight club art 😭 It genuinely pushes me to make more for the community so i thank you

Howdy :)

The narrator's father is an important, ever present, and completely lacking figure in the book and movie. (Obligatory disclaimer I mostly focus on the book) Here's some things I've been thinking about:

The chapter detailing fight club, its start, its rules, is intertwined with fatherhood. As the narrator explains his first punch with Tyler, as he looks upon his new disciples, as Tyler reads out the rules:

"Maybe self-improvement isn't the answer. 

Tyler never knew his father. 

Maybe self-destruction is the answer."

"Me, I knew my dad for about six years, but I don't remember anything. My dad, he starts a new family in a new town about every six years. This isn't so much like a family as it's like he sets up a franchise. 

What you see at fight club is a generation of men raised by women."

You have the lines, Tyler’s in the movie, the narrator’s in the book, you have:

"My father never went to college so it was really important I go to college. 

After college, I called him long distance and said, now what? 

My dad didn't know. 

When I got a job and turned twenty-five, long distance, I said, now what? My dad didn't know, so he said, get married. 

I'm a thirty-year-old boy, and I'm wondering if another woman is really the answer I need."

You have:

"Tyler was fighting his father. 

Maybe we didn't need a father to complete ourselves. There's nothing personal about who you fight in fight club." 

And you have his boss; his boss he blows up, Tyler constantly tells the narrator how he could do it, Tyler’s words come out against his boss about how he could shoot up the office, begging to be punished, using the copy machines, begging for more than nothingness; you have:

“The problem is, I sort of liked my boss.

If you’re male and you’re Christian and living in America, your father is your model for God. And sometimes you find your father in your career.

Except Tyler didn’t like my boss.”

You have: 

“I am Joe’s Broken Heart because Tyler’s dumped me. Because my father dumped me. Oh, I could go on and on.”

You have, Tyler’s words in the mechanic’s mouth:

“"Your father was your model for God.

…

If you’re male and you’re Christian and living in America, your father is your model for God. And if you never know your father, if your father bails out or dies or is never at home, what do you believe about God?

…

What you end up doing … is you spend your life searching for a father and God.

What you have to consider … is the possibility that God doesn’t like you. Could be, God hates us. This is not the worst thing that can happen."

How Tyler saw it was that getting God’s attention for being bad was better than getting no attention at all. Maybe because God’s hate was better than His indifference.

If you could be either God’s worst enemy or nothing, which would you choose?

We are God’s middle children, according to Tyler Durden, with no special place in history and no special attention. 

Unless we get God’s attention, we have no hope of damnation or Redemption. 

Which is worse, hell or nothing?

Only if we’re caught and punished can we be saved.”

And we have Tyler using paraffin, so the narrator can be in Heaven, chided by God.

So like, what does it all mean?

A generation of men raised by women. His dad franchises, he’s not sure if another woman is really what we need. Men with no male models. Men with shit fucking fathers who are fighting them with impersonal proxies. Men who know they're destroying themselves because they have no constructive examples to follow because every single man just fails every son.

And that IS important. It's important to note there is misogyny in the fact that men demand male idols and refuse to even borrow women, but can I condemn them for the same thing I know matters to myself? Can I condemn them for wanting to see men who aren't shit, when I want to see women who aren't shit, when I want to see both not fucking failing their children? Shit fathers fuck over everyone, I don't think it's wrong to see that problem. It's classic male to say it by implying women are lesser, so fucking classic, but it IS true — they're in large part like this because men fucking fail everyone including each other and themselves. There is a gaping, wide fucking asshole where decent men should be, and they’re throwing fits about it rather than stepping up, but I think it’s notable that the narrator DID break the cycle. He’s not franchising. 

And man, the Christian thing. Your father is your model for God because that is the point. Patriarchal religion serves a damn purpose. The father anoints himself as God, tells his children to have unbreakable faith, then disappears. What a shit fucking father. Isn’t disillusionment inevitable? When you can’t find him in his petty figures, not in your father, not in your boss?

Truth is, he says it twice. He likes his boss. As a person maybe. He’s around. But he’s absent too. He doesn’t give a shit. Just like his fucking father, he’s putting him in shit situations, telling him that’s just how it is, and expecting him to, what, be happy with it?

He likes his boss, but a part of him really wants to kill him. He likes his boss, but he begs his boss to do something, anything other than indifference. And he doesn’t. So the narrator invents his own boss, his own father, his own God, and he kills his boss, and he’d kill God and his father if they weren’t already practically dead and gone. 

Dead and gone, even if they're there, he could beg them to care and they wouldn't. Society is set up for them to be the ultimate judgement, the hallmark by which you can measure yourself, the ruler for your fucking life, especially as a guy. And you get nothing. Indifference at best. Be the best son, disciple, worker you can, your boss God father doesn't give a shit. Self improvement isn't the answer. Wouldn't it be better, to know God, your father, your boss cared enough even if it's just to hate you?

Wouldn't it be great to track him down, tell God, "I am stupid and bored and weak, but I am still your responsibility."

He externalizes all that violence, it’s always Tyler who wants to kill his boss, who says he wants to be God’s enemy. And Tyler is his stand in boss father God, so just like the others, he leaves him. Even his fantasies can’t imagine better. 

And honestly, yeah. Myself, I’ve got a pretty good dad. He loves me. He’s been around. I still hate his guts. He abuses my mom and I hate his fucking guts for it. If you asked my brothers, maybe they wouldn’t have that “but”. What he does to my mom is so baked into society that he may as well be a five star father. He’s not beating us. He’s still here. Can it really get better? I have friends that love their dads. But I don’t have any friends that love their dads that don’t have shit moms. When it’s not the choice between bad and worse. The bar is so low. What does that mean for us?

It’s so easy to point at all this and be disturbed and angry about this pathetic fucking white man letting his daddy issues result in terrorism, and like, yeah. But god, fucking everyone has daddy issues, and we shouldn’t. He’s right that it’s a problem. What to fucking do.

Fight Club sits as a “how to NOT deal with several major crippling problems in society,” obviously. But what are we doing to do? It’s not up to me, obviously. I’m not a man, father, not even someone who could raise her standards for the man she partners with, because I don’t do that shit. And hell, you raise your standards and men say you’re killing them and shoot up all the women in an engineering class because jobs are making them too uppity. So. It’s up to them, whether they decide that the fallout of having such a shit father means they should, I don’t know, change something. But as it is, father as God, boss as father is baked into society, the paternalism is extensive and everywhere. It’s baked in.

The narrator is a product of so many issues. A little clown car of a vehicle for them. I don’t really need to consciously think about what his upbringing and absent dad was like, because really, as he accurately assesses, “if his parents weren’t divorced, his father was never home, and here he’s looking at me with half my face clean shaved and half a leering bruise hidden in the dark. Blood shining on my lips. And maybe Walter’s thinking about a meatless, painfree potluck he went to last weekend or the ozone or the Earth’s desperate need to stop cruel product testing on animals, but he’s probably not.” 

Most people, on an overwhelming scale, due to how the world is damn designed, do not need to consciously think about what his upbringing and absent dad was like, because damn if it’s not relevant even if your dad was home.

[x0401x]

Hi! I've only watched the anime for Tsurune and I LOVED the first two seasons but after reading some of your Tsurune posts it got me curious. How different is the anime adaption from the source material? It sounds like an entirely different thing! I really liked the first season, but apparently it was a disaster? In what ways, if you don't mind me asking? Should I read the novels instead? I'm sorry for so many questions or if you've answered these already

Oh.

Oh, holy shit.

This is not the kind of ask I was expecting to get in the year of our lord 2024.

I’ll start by saying that you’re totally right. It sounds like an entirely different thing because the original work and the anime adaptation are, in fact, almost entirely different from each other. If you ever look for reviews of volume 1 on Japanese sites, the comment you’ll see the most from people who also watched the anime is “it’s so different from the novel that it might be best to just view the two as separate stories”. If I had to estimate how much of the novels was actually included into the animation, I would say 5% to 10%. I’m being pretty generous here.

You’re also right about the first season being a disaster. I remember that when I first watched the first episode of S1, by the moment that the series title came up, I immediately thought to myself, “This won’t sell well. 3k DVD copies, give or take”. And turns out I was wrong. It actually sold around 2.7k, which is even worse than what I had predicted. It did so infamously bad that many fans were worried about the second season before it came out, and some people were being rather foul-mouthed about it, which was a shock for me because you don’t usually see Japanese fans not following fandom etiquette. However, there was much more effort put into S2 than S1, thankfully. There’s also the whole thing with the arson attack, which pulled in people’s interest and support for the series. Overall, it did fairly well, I believe. I would never say that S2 does the novel any justice, but it was light years better than S1. That’s something everyone agrees to, even those who enjoyed S1.

Still, though. Even with S2 being far more successful than S1, that’s technically not so big of a deal, considering S1’s tragic underperformance. The series is known here in Japan mostly because of its association with the arson, but not many people are really into it. I would say that it has a niche audience consisting of 1) people who were already fans of KyoAni to begin with, 2) novel readers and 3) people who practice Japanese archery. As for the overseas audience… barely anyone has ever even heard of Tsurune, be it the anime or the novels. Many people who do know the anime have dropped it by S1, and the reason I see being pointed out the most is that it was “boring as hell”.

Other than this, I’ve noticed something in common when reading comments on S2 from Japanese Twitter. One thing people say a lot (and I do mean a lot) is that they didn’t like S1, but after watching S2, they were able to see that “KyoAni was, in fact, taking this franchise seriously”, so they gave it a second chance. This is meant as a compliment, but although it’s not backhanded per se, it’s kind of underhanded. I mean, who wants to be told, “Thank God you got your shit together this time around”? It’s good that S2 changed people’s opinions on the series, but the fact that it had to be changed speaks volumes about what people thought of S1.

Now, as to whether you should just read the novels, I would say yes. It’s literally the only way to know what Tsurune is truly about. But I have to warn you that, if you loved the anime, you might have to prepare yourself to see the things you loved about it either not being in the novel or taking a completely different turn in it. If you’re able to handle that, then by all means, go ahead and give the source material a try. It’s honestly one of the most unique novels I’ve ever read, and I’ve read just about every light novel out there. The depictions of Japanese archery and Zen go way deeper and you’ll learn much more about the characters, so I’m sure you’ll have a fun time!

[rallamajoop]

Resident Evil 5, and why ‘Man who punched a boulder that one time’ is not a personality

Since I’ve already talked about Resis 2, 3, and 4, it’s probably about time to tackle RE5, which may be relevant to the greater state of the franchise for two reasons. For one, after the success of the RE4 remake, RE5 may well be next up in that queue. And considering the franchise’s recent trajectory, with all that RE8, too, owes to the original RE4, it’s worth asking whether something much like RE5 (for better or worse) may well be what we have to look forward to in RE9.

RE5 certainly sold well – to this day, it remains one of the best-selling titles in the franchise. Cynically though, I can’t help but wonder how much of that was simply the franchise coasting off the reputation of RE4 – a game is still cited as one of those titles-that-redefined-the-genre, whereas RE5 doesn’t have much legacy beyond being ‘the racist one’, or That Time Chris Redfield Punched a Boulder.

To give credit where it’s due, by reputation RE5 was a lot of fun to play with a partner (as it was intended), though it may be more notorious for how frustrating it was to play without one, depending on the infamously-awful partner AI as a stand in. Running away from your own AI partner as they try to waste the good healing items on you when you've only got a scratch is apparently a regular part of the single-player experience. I’m stuck saying ‘by reputation’ here because I haven’t actually played RE5 myself, and thus everything below should probably be taken with a pretty big grain of salt.

What I can tell you is that, experienced purely via let’s-plays and cutscene compilations, this is easily the most boring numbered entry in the whole RE franchise.

The biggest single problem here is its protagonist, Chris Redfield, who’s be reimagined for the new console generation as a huge, muscular slab of a man, and with all the personality of a sheet of cardboard, not-much-enhanced by such exciting dialogue as, "There's one thing I do know. I have a job to do, and I'm going to see it through."

This is not a problem unique to Chris: Jill, in her few actual scenes, fares no better. ‘Dedicated para-military professional’, ‘designated good guy’ and ‘wants to save the world from bioweapons’ are perfectly good character traits. They should not be someone’s entire personality. This is a game that does that classic Winter Soldier trope where Jill comes back from the dead brainwashed by the villains, and somehow manages to make it boring. That shouldn’t be possible, but with Chris and Jill, RE5 has pulled it off.

Not all the heroes are as bland as Chris: Sheva gets to be friendly and upbeat and a dedicated para-military professional. But despite being the designated local, she’s entirely here to support Chris, with no real plot of her own or personal investment in his mission. I mean, she does have some history with this other local squad leader guy called Josh, and there’s a bit where he might be dead or something and you have to go find him, but then he’s fine, NBD. Josh himself is about as interesting as Chris, and I can’t help but suspect he’s in this game mostly as a response to criticism that the only other notable black character (Sheva) was a light-skinned woman with a British accent, after which no-one had the guts to actually do anything with Josh for fear of accidentally being offensive. He's just there.

As usual for RE, the villains are far more memorable than the heroes: Wesker is here to leave no scenery unchewed in his usual ridiculous anime-villain way, and Excella… well, you can’t say she doesn’t have personality. But their plan is the usual uninspired dreck: do wildly unethical experiments to bring about the apocalypse and/or next stage in human evolution, get revenge on Umbrella by doing the exact same shit Umbrella always did, blah blah blah. You’ve seen it all a hundred times before.

Like so many RE titles, RE5 opens with a clear thesis statement: appropriately for a co-op shooter, this is a story about partnership. Chris’ reaction to meeting his new ‘partner’ Sheva is heavy with regret over the loss of his old partner, Jill. So, this is one of those Learning To Love Again kind of stories, where Chris has to learn to trust someone new, right? Or maybe Chris will have to make hard decisions between going after his brainwashed old partner, Jill, or backing up his new partner, Sheva? Nope! Maybe this theme comes through for some in the gameplay, but it sure doesn’t go anywhere in the narrative. Chris discovers Jill is alive and brainwashed all of one boss battle before Jill is rescued, immediately un-brainwashed, and promptly left behind again (because, like, she’s injured now and Chris has to trust his new partner, or something). So like so many RE titles, the opening thesis statement goes nowhere.

The other big problem with this game is the complete lack of atmosphere. You can (and RE frequently does) get away with bland heroes just fine if the setting has enough personality to carry the title, but RE5 doesn’t have that going either. There are probably writers out there who could tell a gripping horror story about a hardened para-military team hunting monsters in open spaces in bright sunlight, but they sure weren’t writing for RE5. The RE series at large is never more laughably absurd to me than when it’s trying to go full military shooter, and RE5 is doing that as hard as it can.

I haven’t yet touched on the big controversies this game arrived with, because lord knows I’ve got no special insight into how to respectfully portray African people and an African location. But I think it's safe to say that mindless waves of zombie-uncontacted-tribesmen waving primitive shields and clubs probably isn't a great way to represent Africa's native population. It's not like you're going to meet any un-zombie native tribesmen. Zombie is apparently just their default state.

Still, even from my limited, white-Australian perspective, what stood out most was just how irrelevant the African setting is to the greater plot. RE’s 2 and 3 were set in a (named) American city, with an American pharmaceutical company as its villains. RE4 was set in a Spanish village, with a pseudo-medieval cult as its villains. RE5 may be set ‘somewhere in Africa’, but both its hero and its villain are white Americans. There may be some vague faff about Wesker researching a particular local virus, but for all plot purposes, Africa is little more than an unfortunate bystander, an indifferent battlefield for foreign white people. The only African people worth talking to have guns, and are already working for Chris’ organisation. Jill of RE3 had to watch her home city and her own friends and colleagues fall to the zombie plague, but no-one pays more than the briefest lip-service to the broken communities or human casualties in RE5 – after all, there are bigger things at stake than a few African villagers, Chris has a missing white friend to find! Besides, there’s always, like, wars and famines and shit breaking out in Africa, it’s just a scary, violent place in general. The zombies probably didn’t even make it any worse, amirite?

Yeah, fuck that nonsense. The entire African continent exists to this game as an exotic location where lots of people can die without the player having the feel too bad about it.

Nothing in this game adds up to even the sum of its parts. The reveal of Jill’s face doesn’t produce a ‘omg, it’s Jill!’ reaction from the audience, it gets a ‘wait, who’s this generic blonde lady?’ The mind-control device Wesker uses on Jill is unrelated to any of the biological research he’s been using to turn other people into zombie slaves, it’s just a glowing mechanical thing that can be easily removed. There’s a document you can pick up which spells out a backstory for Sheva that is honestly more interesting than anything going on in the plot, but which fails to provide any insight into how an African-born native who was apparently educated in America has been walking around the whole game with a distinct British accent. The progenitor virus – the nominal excuse for the whole setting – is apparently nothing that Umbrella's researchers haven't already known about for decades.

Is there anything to recommend this game for? Well, Sheva is so much my cup of tea that she’s been turning my head ever since I first ran into a picture of her in some random gaming magazine sometime back around 2008, and I cannot even properly resent this game’s love of showing me close-ups on her ass (it’s a very nice ass, okay?) But after being saddled with such terrible gaming AI, she’s stuck being one of the more widely hated characters in this franchise, and she has so little story of her own that enjoying Sheva doesn’t get me very far.

Oh, and there's Chris' "Heavy Metal" alternate costume. That's certainly something.

RE5 is obviously reflective of the direction the franchise was already taking towards action and away from horror, but probably owes much more to Capcom chasing popular trends. Military co-op shooters set in sunny, arid locations populated by disposable brown people were in at the time, never mind whether that fit the Resident Evil brand. And though the game was a big sales success, it also led directly into the disaster that was RE6, which just about killed the franchise (though being forced to go back to the drawing board for RE7 inarguably did the series a world of good in the long run).

As successful as the remakes of 2, 3 and 4 have been, it’s hard to see the case for remaking RE5. Since 2009, the era of co-op mechanics being shoehorned into everything has come and (thankfully) gone – what was a controversial new direction for RE then isn’t likely to go down much better now. Though it’s now 14 years old, RE5 still looks like a modern game in a way that even the original RE4 doesn’t, and it can’t boast any of the first four games’ reputations as genre-defining classics. Is it possible to reimagine a title like RE5 enough to bring it more in-line with the other recent remakes without alienating those who remember the original fondly, campy co-op nonsense and all? Is it worth courting another round of ugly, racist controversy just to regurgitate a remake of a game so widely considered the franchise’s shark-jumping moment, and which was more of a sequel to the (so far un­-remade) Code Veronica than any of the previous remakes? That’s ultimately up to Capcom to decide, but my money’s on a ‘no’.

Since the semi-reboot of RE7 and 8, Capcom has already returned to much purer survival horror, and then again transitioned into a more action-focused experience a la RE4, effectively speed-running their way through early franchise history again in just two games. Is a continued shift back towards action in some RE5-style follow-up inevitable?

There are good reasons to wonder if that’s already the plan: Chris’ section at the end of RE8 was heavy on the military-shooter-isms, and there’s plenty more in the endgame and on the internet rumour mill to suggest he’s set to be the lead again for RE9. But speaking personally, ye gods do I hope not. Three more games since RE5 have not made Chris any more interesting to me as a character – not unless they’re willing to commit to the increasing hints he’s on the edge of going completely off the deep end into irredeemable villainy, and I doubt Capcom have the guts for that. The last thing this series needs is a new case of military-shooter-itis.

RE5 may not be the worst game in this franchise, but for my money, it’s easily the blandest. I can't speak for the whole fandom ‒ I can't even speak as someone who's actually played the original ‒ but I for one would prefer to see it left firmly in the past.

[that-darn-clown]

hello i come to you bearing gifts (my rambles about the Security Breach era of the Rewrite)

so, a few important things to note:

the Glamrocks, at least, in their canon form, don't exist. they do have Equivalents, though

Malhare (Glitchy Rabbit Boy) DOES exist..but he's a lot less powerful. he's more a rogue computer program (that's also a small piece of Afton's soul/conscience) that can only manipulate electronics. what he does to Vanny is less outright mind control and more along the lines of him manipulating a Very fucked up and traumatized young woman and then asking her "Aren't you tired of being nice? Don't you wanna go APESHIT?" and her answer being yes.

Vanny and her father have much larger roles in the lore. specifically, they are related to one of William's '87 victims (the Toy Bonnie kid, Terrence, specifically). Vanny is the kid's niece, and her father was his older brother.

Vanny and her father's last name is Warren. that's a fun Easter Egg that i'll let you find out yourself ;]

WHO'S READY FOR GEN 2 AFTON AND EMILY KIDS?? (Cameron, Gregory, and Cassie)

things are Very different. Mike and Sammy decided to do a small reboot of the franchise, just for nostalgia's sake and to give the local kids a place to hang out. the animatronics are quite different, but they're like. rebooted versions of the OG animatronics + just regular Blackjack (the lone survivor of Henry's attempt to finally end everything. yes, he's still sentient).

all of the games are rather different. Help Wanted (original) is more like a collection of smaller Fazbear-Related games (that, in the lore, was used as a way to connect the old Fazbear brand with the reboot) that the player can choose to play through (with Malhare being inside a Tomogatchi-type game of sorts) and having two major protagonists (Summer/Tape Girl and Vanny's father, Bill. although he sucks). Security Breach now Actually has five "nights" (days that Greg spends at the new restaurant mostly on his own; the player would have to complete various tasks to get through the "nights" and be able to leave). Ruin is just Cassie exploring an abandoned Freddy's building (specifically the Fnaf 2 building) and unknowingly being led towards Vanny by Malhare mimicking her friend's voice (Gregory). she doesn't die, thank God. haven't figured Help Wanted 2 out just yet, but it involves Mike's older son, Cameron, having A Bad Time (maybe it'll be similar to a Fnaf 4 situation, where nothing's real and it's a nightmare/dream, except it's lore related stuff and paranormal in nature. i'm also keeping the whole theme of "What Makes You So Special?" because it still fits with the personality i have for Cam: a child with popular parent(s) who just tries to keep out of the spotlight. Cam doesn't know why he's getting involved with the Paranormal Shit out of nowhere, nor why it's happening in his dreams).

Vanny is a copycat killer, but she was kinda still manipulated by Malhare. y'know; a mix of canon and what i think would be a cool idea.

so now: A Brief Plot Summary Of The Games!

Help Wanted: Summer tries dealing with the paranormal Glitch Hare on her computer while trying to figure out why he's here. We also learn, apparently, that William is MARGINALLY (note the word choice here) a better father than Vanessa's father.

Security Breach: Charlie would like to relax and enjoy her afterlife, but apparently William's trying to kill his grandson so she's having to team up with a sentient robot fox to keep this gremlin from dying. How does she team up with the fox? By possessing the other robots for brief periods of time to warn and give advice to her nephew (? in a sense) to keep him from dying.

Ruin: Cassie just wants to explore an abandoned building, William's still pissed that Vanny didn't kill his grandson so now he's trying to get her to kill an Emily child (this would only end even Worse for him because Sammy WILL go ballistic if his daughter dies), and Charlie has to help her niece NOT get killed (the mask this time around is a Puppet Halloween Mask that Charlie can possess at will, and she speaks to Cassie while she wears the mask).

Help Wanted 2: Autistic preteen who also deals with selective mutism has The Worst Fucking Time while dreaming, and does not understand why the spirits of dead kids (and his dead grandfather, who is currently being tortured in hell) are so desperate to want to speak to him as he sleeps.

Random Animatronic: What makes you so special?

Cameron, stressed the fuck out and trying to do things:

like. this kid doesn't know what's happening. for reference: Cam is around 11-12. Gregory and Cassie are closer to 6-8.

Ough sb is one of my favorite eras for the rewrite, I remember when we were at ren Faire and you explained some of the plot to me!! Anyways. My beloveds as always, sweet bebbies

[a-tale-never-told]

So how did you enjoy the prologue? Any favorite characters or least favorite yet?

//Well, there is a lot to cover with this, so I guess I'll share what I like and what I thought could have been done better. Spoilers ahead for those who did not see the game//

//So one of the things I did like in the prologue is the characters and how they interact. Well, almost all of them since the entirety of them is supposed to be a new cast of characters that we have never seen and heard before, and I have to admit and give credit where it's due, the cast is almost near great for me, with a few exceptions//

//I think my favorite character so far has to be either Yoruko or Hibiki because those two are the ones I can relate to the most honestly. Yoruko is your resident tsundere, except she's more than that, and also the most realistic person here, especially during the beach scene. I honestly find her pretty compelling as a character so far and her crush on Sora is honestly pretty heartwarming to see//

// Hibiki is actually a better Hiyoko in my opinion. Yeah, I just said that. I get that she's supposed to be the "mean girl" of this game, but honestly, she's surprisingly tame compared to people like Hiyoko or Celeste. I know that people are not the biggest of fans about how she treats Kanade, but it never really bothered me or annoyed me because most of the time, she isn't really saying anything truly harsh, except for one time when she went overboard, and that Kanade is such a bland and boring character that I couldn't care less//

//Also, I have heard and said much worse than Hibiki, so. I can definitely see why Mod Bubbles likes her a whole lot, and I'm super happy she got the character development she should have gotten in the game. Runner-ups are Setsuka, Shinji, Iroha, Sora, and Hajime for me, mostly because they are the most chill people there for the most part//

//The island setting is also neat, and considering that this is on both the island and the cruise, I would find myself enjoying this. Monocrow is an okay host. Obviously, he's inferior to the quirky, sadistic Monokuma. But I do like how Monocrow at least has some standards for the most part, like how he criticized Syobai for stabbing Sora//

//But sadly, when there are the joyful things in life, there are, of course, the cursed things that are meant to suffer and this prologue has a few of them. So let's talk about them.

//First is Yuki's voice acting. I'm dearly sorry to whoever voiced him, but what is that voice coming from that character's mouth?! You have a high school-aged teen, why does he sound like a 12-year-old boy?! I know that this is rather nitpicky, but I will argue that Yuki is supposed to be the same age as these guys, perhaps even older considering the events of the last game. So why does he sound like that? It makes no sense! Other than Yuki's, the voice acting is pretty damm great for this game, and props to those that gave it their best effort//

//Second is Yuri, good lord Yuri. Where do I even start with this piece of perverted shit? Y'all thought that Teruteru was awful? Oh, he doesn't got anything when compared to Mr. Cosmonaut over there. I'm not kidding when I say that half of his dialogue and the entirety of his character is mostly him simping over women like a Mineta-esque clone of him, and shitting on Yuki and the dudes for.... being dudes. What the hell is this?//

// I believe Linjulij (Linjulij? I don't know how you spell his name correctly) lost a bet with some Russian men in Saint Petersburg and got so enraged about losing 200 bucks to these pricks, and decide to write and make Yuri into this perverted, man-hating asshole just to spite them. At least that's my theory, I have zero idea of what Yuri's character was supposed to be. He's so bad that he might be one of my most hated characters in this franchise, to the point that when he opened his mouth, I told him to shut the fuck up every. single. time. That's how bad he is to me//

// I think we all need to stop classifying Teruteru as the resident pervert in this franchise because there are characters that are significantly far worse than him. And people still think he's the main pervert? What? What the hell are you smoking, guys?//

//But the worst aspect to me of this prologue, was the early reveal of Mikado as the Mastermind so early on. I don't about you guys, but I am personally not a fan of this kind of writing when they reveal things far too early in the overall plot or story. We just got into the prolouge and already, we know he's the mastermind. Why don't they just kill him already when he's there? It would have been so much easier for Mikado as a character if the reveal that he was the mastermind came during or at the end of the first trial. That way, it's revealed semi-normal and feels natural. Have Mikado try to gain the trust of the students a bit by acting as their protector and savior, manipulating them untill he's revealed in the first trial. That way, the fear of being with the mastermind feel more deep as they thought this guy was going to protect them, only for him to be the person behind the whole operation//

//Don't get me wrong, this sort of twist is unique and can work, it's just that the overall execution of it was just bad and not really satisfying to me at all. It could've been handled far better than it had originally played out. It was unnecessary to reveal it like that, and it was completely unnecessary to have Rei and Teruya here just to show up and warn them, and then get their ass kicked by Mikado. That's it. What was even the fucking point of them being there aside from warning them and then just disappearing?! God, this frustrates me looking back//

//Other than that, I will say that the concept itself is at least unique and far different from any Fanganronpa I've seen or heard of before. And the decision of Mikado being a contestant is again, while flawed, a pretty great twist in all honesty. It just sucks of how the execution of it could've have been handled better than it did. That's just my thoughts though//

//Overall, despite those massive fuck ups, I did really like the prologue and it serves as a decent opening to the game in general. I was originally going to bring up Syobai and his character in this, but he's a topic for another time. The verdict? Not a bad start for this game. Let's just pray to god that the rest of the game is better going forward.//

[chambergambit]

thinking about jj abrams career for some reason. his skills as a director lie in 1, fun action set pieces and 2, manipulating nostalgia to create emotional investment. i personally think this is done best in Super 8, a film that was in many ways a precursor to Stranger Things, but is now mostly forgotten, so i’m gonna talk about Star Trek instead.

Star Trek 2009 in incredibly fun and rewatchable, but deliberately side-steps the franchise’s philosophical ideals (specificall, examining what an ideal society would look like and what structural inequalities we would have to address to get there). this is because abrams doesn’t care about the franchise or its ideals, and only did the movie in hopes that the nerd cred it gave him would land him a Star Wars movie in a future (a move that, for better or worse, worked). he openly stated this in a daily show interview he did as promo for the fucking movie. jon stewart was absolutely baffled and it was hilarious. i remember watching the interview when it aired and thinking "...that does not bode well.”

i was right. abram’s utter inability to give a shit results in Star Trek Into Darkness, which directly betrays the franchise’s philosophical ideals, banking entirely on what abrams thought adiences liked about previous Star Trek movies and wanted to see more of. he very lazily just tried to remake Wrath of Khan without considering what made WoK not just work, but matter. 

Star Trek Beyond kinda miraculously manages a return to both fun and ideals. unfortunately, only already invested fans cared, and i don’t think we will return to this particular side of Star Trek for a very long time. 

[spewagepipe]

On 2022

I got onto making my awards early this time, which has had the bizarre side-effect of making it a lot bigger and longer than usual. Anyway, let's see what cool stuff people managed to make in spite of the death throes of capitalism.

The Only 2022 Video Game that I Actually Played in 2022 — Warhammer 40,000: Darktide So, yeah, I still don't really keep up with new releases – I probably spend more time trying to pare down my backlog list than I spend reading headlines. But I played a fair bit of Darktide just at the end of the year here, and so far... uh, well, it's not exactly my cup of tea but it will probably do the job of "Left 4 Dead Clone" for a decent while. It runs like shit on my old PC, and the boltgun is the only weapon that satisfyingly kills things, but I've still had worse.

The Best Left 4 Dead Clone that I Played in 2022 — Remnant: From the Ashes At the end of the day, though, I'd still rather be playing Remnant. I don't care for the weird way that Remnant handles equipment, but it has a much wider array of satisfying guns than Darktide, and my PC can actually run it smoothly.

The Best Video Game that I Played and Finished in 2022 — Metro Exodus So I'm only three years late in giving Exodus its due, and I actually feel pretty good about that. I'm sure some of the franchise fans felt like Exodus lost too much of what made the original Metro 2033 unique – and I can empathize, since the Librarians remain my favourite enemies in any video game – but those people are mostly wrong. What it loses in perceived quirkiness, Exodus gains in its distillation and refinement of sandbox gameplay.

The Best Video Game that I Owe an Apology To in 2022 — Disco Elysium I started playing Disco Elysium this year, got a fair way into the game, and then life intervened and I had to set it aside for a while. Unfortunately, other games also intervened and I never got back to it, in spite of it being probably the single best game I played all year! An extremely close runner up for this one was Outer Wilds, which was also completely mind-blowing and which I did dirty in the exact same way. But as for Disco: the writing in this game is absolutely unsurpassed, even by its spiritual predecessor (and one of my GOATs) Planescape: Torment. But beyond that, it's just doing amazing things with fundamentals of RPG design, stuff that even the tabletop sphere should take note of. Plus it's an actual RPG – like, you role-play in it, it's not just a tactical/action game with a character progression menu.

The 2022 Video Game that I'm Most Hoping to Play Soon — Iron Lung So, this year wasn't... "great" for video games, but there were still plenty of gems in the rough, so much so that I actually had to give some serious thought to this category. It might seem odd to pick a game that takes less than two hours to play over giants like Elden Ring, but while I continue my internal debate over whether I even give a shit about FromSoft's latest exercise in masochism, Iron Lung has me genuinely gripped and excited to see how much fear can be wrung from a game where there's no risk of an instant game-over monster kill.

The Best 2022 Superhero Movie of 2022 — The Batman As various Batman stories continue to struggle to paint their fundamentally reactionary hero as... a hero, The Batman delivered a better and grittier mystery/detective story than we've seen on the big screen before. With Marvel tripping out of the starting gate on its next "saga", this film provided some blessed redemption after DC's own repeated failures to launch.

The Best Not-Superhero Movie of 2022 — Nope I had planned for this category to be the best not-superhero and not-horror movie, but I didn't see all that many new movies this year and I don't really plan to – seems they mostly look like shit anyhow. So instead I've got to widen up the category and hand this to Nope, which is as much as, or even more so, amazing movie about movies and spectacles as it is a horror film.

The 2022 Tabletop Game that I'm Most Excited to Play — ISS Vanguard I don't feel as guilty about being a few years behind the curve when it comes to board games, since it takes a long time for them to percolate through the community and establish any kind of consensus opinion that can be used to justify a purchase. But when my good friend started to describe this game he had backed, I was drawn in by the enthusiasm – here's hoping that the epic star-trekking campaign can live up to the hype.

The Best Tabletop Game that I Played in 2022 — Inis A close runner up was Nemesis, a game that so consistently generated great stories that every time I play it I feel somewhat compelled to redesign it as an RPG in the hopes of distilling that essence. But as for our real winner, Inis is a 2016 game that I probably never would have given a second thought to, but that has had me consistently cackling with glee every time I play it. Victory always seems to come from a stealthy surprise, even after long, brutal conflicts of attrition.

The Pandemic Legacy Season 0 Award for Tabletop Campaigns that I Still Haven't Been Able to Play Because We Live in a Plague-Ridden Hellscape — Pandemic Legacy Season 0 At this point, I think trying to arrange for a "once a month" in-person meeting is a fool's errand. I'm going to wait for a gap when the numbers are low, and we're going to play as many back-to-back games of this as we can in the hopes of powering through it before the numbers surge again.

[lifestreamsblog]

Samurai Maiden for Switch Review: Don’t Believe the Hate

So, it’s been a while, hasn’t it? I’ve been to heck and back. I’ve:

Lost my apartment

Caught Covid and nearly died

Had acute kidney failure

Went into cardiac arrest and had to be resuscitated

Had a stroke

Had pneumonia and nearly died

Have had lung problems ever since having pneumonia

...Long story short, I’ve been through so much shit, it’s a fucking miracle I’m even alive today.

Anyway, now I’m back, and just in time to see the internet dogpile on one of the better Yuri games to come out recently. Oh, joy. Yes, if a bunch of hateful reviewers are to be believed, Samurai Maiden is one of the worst games ever to grace the Nintendo Switch! With horrifying issues that will plague gamers everywhere, including:

Horrible translation

Fake-feeling relationships between characters

Subpar quality

Fan service

High cost

Total anarchy that will melt your favourite politician, and replace them with HitlerStalinMao(TM)

Needless to say, people HATE this game.

Aside from the high price, the aforementioned points are all blown out of proportion at best, and downright wrong at worst. Here’s my two-cents:

Samurai Maiden is a beat-em-up developed by SHADE LTD and published by D3 PUBLISHER for the Nintendo eShop and other platforms. The game is done in the style of Oneechanbara and Senran Kagura. Unlike Oneechanbara, this is a Yuri game. Unlike Senran Kagura, it’s actually amazing and full of potential.

Let’s start with the one I hear complained about the most:

The Translation:

I speak some Japanese, and I can tell you that the translation is mostly accurate. It takes some liberties here and there, and at times, it makes puzzling choices, but it’s not the OH NOES THIS SUCKS BEYOND BELIEF!! that all the other reviewers are saying. Honestly, I’ve seen far worse! But...let’s address the elephant in the room:

The game dares to make the protagonist from Gen Z! How dare they!

First-off: the girl in question is in motherfucking HIGH SCHOOL! And, you know what generation is in high school in 2022? GEN Z! The Japanese says something similar to properly date the girl, so it’s what we in the linguistic community like to call “localisation!” It’s a common and necessary practice to properly make a game accessible to the audience the game is being translated for. This should be applauded, not vilified.

Onto the next matter:

Relationships Between Characters:

Let’s look at a very famous and popular franchise for a moment: Senran Kagura. This franchise is famous for its lesbian fans. However, as a genderfluid person who is attracted to any gender and spent many years identifying as a transwoman who was a lesbian, I can safely say that Senran Kagura’s relationship dynamics have always been a HUGE TURN OFF! Here’s why:

Sexual desire and instant physical intimacy is ALWAYS the norm

The women are always falling over each other in awkward ways

There is no real time for anybody to develop feelings

So...if all lesbians only care about skinship and sex, this game may be accurate. But, we know this is not the case. In fact, emotional connection and support is just as important! This just isn’t the case with Senran Kagura; if anything, that is the franchise with fake-feeling relationships.

Samurai Maiden, by comparison, sees relationships grow organically. There is love at first sight, but that happens lots in the real world as well. The truth is, in this game, there’s no instantly jumping into the arms of the protagonist, nor is there the opposite with the protagonist jumping into the arms of one of the supporting women. The protagonist shares stories and experiences with the other women, and they grow fond of each other.

In my world, this is called a healthy relationship, not an unrealistic one.

Okay, what about...

Mechanics:

Like any beat-em-up in the 3D space, this game involves a lot of running around and beating up baddies. The supporting cast is there to help. Of course, you need to equip your party members, and give them commands, but this is not at all unusual in this sort of game; to expect anything else is unrealistic. The mechanics, according to one of my partners, are neither amazing, nor are they awful; it’s somewhere in the middle. According to her, this game is loads better, mechanically-speaking, than Mitsurugi Kamui Hikae, a Steam game which plays like garbage. She says a much better comparison would be Oneechanbara. So, again, the other reviewers are dumping on Samurai Maiden for a nonexistent issue.

And now...for the one everybody is yelling about:

Fan Service

Have you seen Senran Kagura? The fan service is beyond obsessive. Anything in Samurai Maiden is beyond tame by comparison. See what I wrote about relationships above.

I rest my case on this particular issue.

Now...Onto the only talking point where everyone else is actually correct for a change!

Price

Samurai Maiden costs US $59.99+tax for the standard version, and US $74.99+tax for the deluxe version. These are AAA prices for a mid-tier market game. This is standard issue when it comes to D3 PUBLISHER. But stop and think for a moment: this isn’t a large-scale developer or publisher. And they’re not obscene with microtransactions and DLC like the people behind Senran Kagura. They are genuinely trying to fill a niche market and charging enough money to make a little profit. They know their game won’t sell millions and will likely only sell in the tens of thousands, so they charge more to ensure they can make more games! Not everybody in the industry is a greedy capitalist nightmare; some of these people genuinely love making games! If you’re going to complain, why not hold the people behind Senran Kagura to account; they have so much DLC, you’d think you’re dealing with those behind Dead or Alive.

Now that I’ve covered all the main bases, I want to discuss something I find important:

Voice Acting:

Unlike countless other games featuring Anime women, most of the characters don’t have those cutesy voices that make them sound extremely unrealistic. This is SUCH A BREATH OF FRESH AIR FOR ME! In fact, the mature voice of the protagonist actually makes me take her seriously as a person! Her companions are hit-and-miss, although none of them have that cutesy, high-pitched whiny voice that you ALWAYS hear in these types of games.

All in all, Samurai Maiden is a competent beat-em-up with realistic lesbian relationships that doesn’t shove DLC, microtransactions or endless fan service down your throat. It’s a refreshing breath of fresh air for me, given how much utter drivel you see on the market out there for this sort of concept. Truthfully, I don’t play games very much these days, preferring to watch one of my partners play instead, but I actually enjoy this game. And I’m going to keep on playing it. And I hope it gets sequels and becomes a franchise, because for me, this game is like if Senran Kagura were actually done right!

FINAL SCORE: 8/10: Don’t Believe the Hate

[theonewiththefanfics]

Don’t Worry, Darling (one-shot)

Synopsis: Falling in love with a co-star is something that can hurt, especially when it seems like they’re talking to other people behind your back, but falling in love with a co-star and being unable to help when they’re sick, is even worse.

Pairing: Harry Styles x fem!Reader

Genre: angst, fluff, SMUT 

Warnings: COVID-19, sickness, swearing, SMUT (fingering, m going down on f, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it))

Word count: 11 968 (yoikes)

Please note I’m not trying to make light of the pandemic or the virus and those impacted by it. It’s a very real and serious thing, which is why I decided to use it. Please stay safe and healthy, follow the local health guidelines and if you have the ability please get vaccinated. Let’s keep ourselves and one another safe, frens :)

When Y/N got the call she’d gotten the role of Jack’s ex-wife who’d disappeared in mysterious circumstances, she was over the moon. As a Marvel alumnus, she was excited to work with Florence, as she’d loved Midsommar, and knowing she was going to be one of the new faces carrying the next Marvel chapter, she wanted to get to know her. Having played Tony Stark’s adopted daughter since the age of six, she was very protective of the franchise but was excited to see where it’d go.

      Then Shia LaBeouf, Chris Pine as well with Dakota Johnson’s announcements coming soon after, Y/N got even more stoked, and with Olivia Wilde leading all of them, she was sure the movie would be a hit.

      Shia and Dakota had to drop out due to scheduling issues (which Y/N couldn’t lie – she was kind of happy Shia couldn’t do it), and that's where Harry Styles took over the role of Jack with Kiki Layne Dakota’s Margaret.

      Now, when Y/N had seen Harry’s picture next to the re-cast e-mail the whole production had been sent out, she might’ve had a little (a massive, like a ginormous) freak-out. As much as she’d grown up listening to classic rock, due to Robert Downey Jr. and Iron Man, she’d been an avid One Direction fan. Like to the point, it might even seem a bit creepy. Y/N had sort of grown out of the obsessive phase of it all, but most definitely admired the solo albums they’d been able to produce, and when Dunkirk came out, she was excited to see Harry join the acting world, with the amount of talent he had.

      The first table read was sort of awkward, and definitely the weirdest one, given how a pandemic had started, and everyone was at their respective homes using Zoom. 

      Y/N and Florence had been the first to join the conversation about half an hour before the official beginning, and by the time everyone else did, they were crying from laughter and had to excuse themselves from their computers to collect whatever remaining composure they had. 

      “You two alright?” Oliva Wilde had raised her eyebrow, as the women re-joined, still chuckling. “Will we have to use body doubles for the scenes you two are in?”

      “No!

      “Nohooo!” both of them yelled through laughter. “We’ll be as professional as professionals are. Which is very professional.”

      Then Y/N made the mistake of glancing at Florence’s square, and the two busted out laughing again, spewing apologies in between, but no one seemed to really mind. In fact, it looked like they appreciated how casual and open everyone was being, hoping the set wouldn’t be stiff either when they moved onto filming.

      And for the two women, it wasn’t really. Actually, they grew closer than ever. The amount of time Florence spent in Y/N’s trailer was to the point that the two started to talk about just moving in together. After scouring the nearby apartments for rent, they settled on a three-bedroom apartment, as two-bedroom ones were non-existent. 

      When Harry grew closer to them as well, given how he spent quite some time with both women, they suggested he move in as well.

      “You know, what? I changed my mind. You’re taking away our closet, and I don't like that,” Y/N pouted, watching as Florence lifted a pile of her clothes and moved it to her room. “That’s not very ‘treat people with kindness’ of you.”

      All he did was flick a finger at her forehead, which Y/N swatted away with a smile. When he’d double-checked about moving in with them (which, mind you was the seventh time, and half his stuff was already there), the two women were ecstatic. They got along amazingly on set and basically having a sleepover with friends every night suited all of them quite well. 

      At that moment, Y/N was sitting on the edge of her bed, knitting while Harry painted all of their toes and Florence put on facemasks.

      “Wine!” Y/N suddenly exclaimed, almost knocking over the light blue nail polish bottle as she jumped up, throwing her needles back on the bed. “We need wine!”

      “Do not ruin my masterpiece!” Harry hollered after her, as she waddled away on her heels, toes separated by foam and hight up in the air. She even had to manoeuvre around the carpet to avoid any hairs and fibres that could get stuck inside the still wet lacquer.

      It took her a second to find a bottle all three of them could enjoy, given their tastes were so different – Y/N preferred sweet and red, and didn’t care if it was a three-dollar bottle from Target, Harry had a bit more of an expensive pallet, giving preference to something with a more of a lingering aftertaste and in the higher ranges of price point, while Florence liked rosé and white wines.  

      Taking two glasses in one hand and the bottle with a third glass between her fingers, she shuffled back to her room when she heard the two muttering something in low voices before Harry whispered harshly, “I’m not telling Y/N that!” 

      “Won’t me what?” Y/N’s question made him and Florence spring back where they’d been engaged in a heated conversation when she re-entered the room, putting the wine bottle and glasses on the nightstand.

      Florence waved her off, giving her a smile, she didn’t believe in. “Nothing. Now come on, Harry will do your fingernails now, and I think it’s about time the mask came off.”

      And that’s when Y/N’s heart dropped. She’d been in the industry long enough to know how fake people could be, how they could put on smiles so inviting and friendly while hiding their true intentions behind them. She just didn’t think two people she’d found so genuine and sweet would be like that.

      And the thing was – it wasn’t the first time she’d heard the two whispering like that and hushing up when they saw her enter the room or even come somewhere near to them. 

In the beginning, Y/N had chalked it up to the two being closer, given they had to spend more time together, so they knew one another better, but this time sort of solidified it wasn’t the fact the two were closer, it had to deal with Y/N specifically.

      So, she started to distance herself. She’d had enough users in her life to last her for the rest of it. Y/N excused herself from the movie nights they had on most Fridays, she no longer joined in on the cooking sessions and mostly spent time in her room, or on work calls.

      When she re-entered the flat, four weeks after their falling out, they watched as she nodded to them, and went inside her room, closing the door, much like she’d been doing for the past thirty days. 

      “Do you think she knows?” Harry asked, brows furrowed and bottom lip between his teeth as he hoped the doors would open, yet, obviously, they didn’t. 

      “Well, I haven’t told her, and unless you did, then I doubt it…”

      Harry stood up, running a hand through his hair. “I’m gonna talk to her.”

      “You think it’s a good idea?”

      “No, but if she’s upset maybe she needs to talk to someone.”

      “Or maybe she wants to be alone.”

      Harry bit his lip thinking over Florence’s words. When he was upset about something, he himself did like to kind of retreat and become a little bit of a recluse, to sort out his emotions before anyone else tried to jump in and help with it, but the thing was – Y/N’s distancing started the night when she’d walked in on the two of them arguing, and it’d been about the girl in question herself, so he shook his head. “I’ll just ask if she’s alright.”

      He took a deep breath and went to enter the room he hadn’t seen in almost a month. “Hey.” Harry poked his head through Y/N’s door, making her swirl around in her chair. She looked adorable to him. She’d changed into a big fluffy nightgown, the hood up, a headband pushing hair away from her face with a green facemask covering her skin. The domestic life flashed through Harry’s head like a freight train, as it was something he craved, but pushed it away. There was no daydreaming before figuring out what was in front of him in reality. “You okay?”

      “ 'M fine.” She shot him a quick smile. “Why? Did Olivia send something new for the script?”

      “Um, no, ‘s just you’ve been, I dunno – detached a bit?”

      “Look, Harry… I may be younger than you, but I’ve been in this industry longer than you or Florence.” Y/N stood and shrugged before crossing her arms. “And the thing is – I don’t care for shit like that. So, you two can gossip and whisper and talk whatever you want about me behind my back. Everyone else is doing that so, you’re not that special. But’ I’d prefer if you did it somewhere else besides my room, my space, and I’ll say this once, but very clearly – we’re not friends. I don’t need friends like you. We’ll be civil and we’ll do our jobs, but…” Harry’s heart broke at her eyes, seeing the pain in them as she nodded and made sure he understood where she stood. “We’re not friends.”

      She didn’t leave any room for argument. When Harry left, Y/N didn’t even look over her shoulder to see him exit.

      The next couple of mornings she didn’t see them leave nor come back, seeing as Y/N had the week off from filming, but the morning of the seventh day was awkward as hell, given how all of them had to go and get tested, and well, they had their allocated time slots one after the other. Usually, they’d take one car together, but this time, Y/N drove off on her own, while Harry and Florence carpooled on their own.

      The tests were always nerve-wracking. If one person went down, the whole production did for at least two weeks. And as much as she hated going in alone, she was glad no one was with her in the car, because as she stepped out, a certain notion swept over her that this would be a lot different than usual.

      A doctor dressed head to toe in protective gear motioned for her to sit down, as another processed her ID and work ID. Her leg was bouncing up and down the whole time, and he eyed her. If she could see his lips, she was sure they’d be pursed. “Anything wrong?” He handed her back the IDs before moving to the table where a set of large q-tips seemed to lay in sterile packs.

      Y/N sighed, biting her lip and nodded. “Woke up with a sore throat and a small cough appeared on my way here as well. I wiped and cleaned everything down at the apartment I’m staying at and wore gloves and a mask the whole time.”

      “Anything else?” the doctor asked, writing down each word as Y/N said. “The feeling of breaking bones, fever, muscle pain, eyes hurting when you look up, lost sense of smell or taste?”

      “No, nothing like that. Just a sore throat and a small cough.”

The doctor let out a large sigh, probably from having to wear a full-on hazmat suit. “Alright. Just for safety reasons, so we know who’s a potential contact person, who are you staying with?”

      “Florence Pugh and Harry Styles. We’re renting an apartment together.”

      “Do you know if they’ve had any symptoms?”

      “No,” Y/N shook her head honestly. “And I haven’t really interacted with them this past week, as they’ve been on set, and I didn’t have any scenes to film, and by the time they get back, I’m already asleep, and I’m still asleep when they leave so there’s been no direct contact. We have our own kitchenware, so there shouldn’t be any direct contact. I think.”

      That last bit was half-true, seeing as she hadn’t been asleep when they came back, but she might as well have been. The second Y/N heard the door click, she’d place her headphones on or leave the room, only glimpsing the two faces falling as she did that.

      The doctor clearing his throat and motioning for Y/N to open her mouth so he could take a swab and then to do the same for both her nostrils, was what brought her out of it. She was so used to it, it was like nothing at that point. “Okay. We’ll need you to stay in the car while the test is being run, and if it comes back positive, you’ll be placed in a separate flat, as to not endanger the rest.”

      Her ‘alright’ was barely audible. Fuck. It just felt like the universe was against her. First, the two people she’d gotten closest to were whispering behind her back and being fake to her face, now she might have a super contagious virus to which there was no medicine really, nor was there a vaccine, let alone the thought she’d have to miss filming for potentially more than two weeks.

      The thirty minutes of wait were agonizing, her leg bouncing up and down. Y/N’s eyes kept watching the line of cars slowly move forward through the tent and then settle behind hers. She knew Harry was about five cars away, and she was glad he wasn’t closer. They weren’t really allowed to get out of their vehicles while the tests were being run, and Y/N didn’t think she’d be able to not look back at him through her review mirror. 

      Two more minutes passed when finally, one of the med students in the full hazmat suit came up and knocked on her car window.

      “Miss Y/L/N?”

      “Yes?” 

      “ID please.” It was standard so that no med info got leaked. The only reason she had to rummage through her stuff was, because she’d bite the little plastic card in half if she didn’t throw it somewhere deep inside her bag.

      “So.” The man sighed, and he didn’t need to elaborate. Y/N understood, but still, he had to confirm it to her. “Your test came back positive for COVID-19. The production has been informed, and for safety reasons, everyone will have to self-isolate for two weeks.”

      Y/N’s head slammed against the back of the seat. “Fuck. Okay.”

      “Because so far, you’re the only positive case, you’ll be placed into quarantine. We’ll need the address you’re staying at, and if you need anything from your apartment, we can send someone over to grab a few things. You’ll have to follow the black SUV right there.” He pointed further down the lot where indeed a black SUV stood. “They’ll take you to where the quarantine apartments are. Is there anything immediate you’ll need?”

      “I – uh – I need my pills, my birth control that is. I take it every evening. Computer, chargers. That’s the most immediate I can think of. Maybe some food? I didn’t get the chance to eat breakfast.”

      Even through the mask, Y/N could see the man smile. “Well arrange that. In the meantime, here’s the number for the coordinators who’ll get you the rest of your things and deliver them to you.”

      “Thank you. I’ll call my assistant, and she’ll drive down to the apartment. She knows where everything is.”

      “Have you been in close contact with her?”

      “Just through the phone. She hasn’t been on set in almost a month, as I told her only to come when it’s an emergency… Guess this is it.” Y/N let out an awkward chuckle.

      And truly that was it. With one last motion as to where the SUV stood, she started back up the engine, reversed out of the spot and followed the car to where the ‘Don’t Worry Darling’ production had set up a few quarantine apartments, specifically for actors and crew, speed-dialling her assistant Anna and letting her know of the situation.

      “Shit, girl,” she’d cursed. “That sucks.”

      “Tell me about it.”

      “Okay,” Anna huffed. “Do you have a spare key for the apartment by any case or do I need to go down to the lot and ask Harry or Florence?”

      “Both of them will be at the apartment, given how everything’s shut down, so they should be able to open the door for you. Hopefully, if both of them are negative. If not, call me, I’ll tell you where we hide the spare. Thank you, Anna.”

      “Of course.”

      As Y/N pulled up behind the SUV, a man and a woman in face guards and masks stepped out. She ended the call and stepped out as well, pulling on a cloth face mask, an envelope in their hands, which they handed to her.

      “Your flat’s on the third floor, 367. When you have the list of things you need, forward them to us, and we’ll gather your things.”

      Y/N nodded and gave them a tight smile. “Thank you. I’ll be as quick as I can.”

      With a sigh, she took her bag and entered the complex. As much as she’d only had a small cough in the morning and a sore throat, walking up those flights of stairs made her winded more than it usually would. Maybe it was the knowledge she had a sickness, or maybe it was stress about missing work and putting everyone on lockdown, or maybe it was the combination of it all with her falling out with Harry and Florence on top.

      She placed the key in the lock and twisted, revealing a studio type apartment, and it was so bare it made her heart clench. As much as she felt awkward being around Florence and Harry, their flat was a bit messy, had little pieces of clothing thrown around, giant knitted blankets on the sofas, a candle always lit whenever someone was home. Harry’s shoes were typically all over the place while Y/N’s make up was scattered around everywhere. Literally. Florence and Harry had gotten back early one morning from a night shoot and found her looking under the sofas for one of her lash glues as she started to get ready for the day. They’d made that flat their home for the time being. This… this was nothing like that.

      She threw the keys on the small kitchen counter and shrugged off her jacket. They was going to be a long two weeks. At best.

 ***

       Back at their place, Florence and Harry were pacing around, having heard the news that someone was positive, and everything had to shut down for the time being, yet Y/N was nowhere to be seen when a knock at the door disrupted them.

      Harry was there and flinging it open in a matter of a second, only to be stopped by Anna instead of Y/N.

      “Hey.” His brows furrowed as she and two people all wearing masks and gloves entered. “What’s going on? Is Y/N alright?”

      Anna sighed, nodding her head for the two strangers to go towards the woman’s room. “She was the one who tested positive for the virus. Gave me a list of the things she’d need while in quarantine. We’re here to pick ‘em up and get them to her.”

      “And she’s not doing that here?”

      “Per the safety instructions, she’s been placed in a separate flat in self-isolation.”

      “She could’ve done that here. We’d be fine with it,” Florence butted in, arms crossed over her chest. “We’re more than willing to take care of her. She’ll need someone to help her.”

      “You both tested negative.” One of the people piped up, carrying a box of books and yarn. “I’m sorry, but she’ll have to quarantine separately until she’s no longer infected. She’s under the supervision of doctors, and she knows if an emergency happens, they’ll be there in ten minutes tops. I’m sorry, but this is how it has to be.”

      Harry sighed, nodding as the people exited their place, but before Anna could leave, he took hold of her bicep. “Hey, can you please tell her to call me? I just wanna talk.”

      “I uh – ” Anna furrowed her brows, showing Harry that Y/N hadn’t said anything to her about the falling out they’d had. “I’ll uh, yeah. I’ll do that.”

      With that he was left to close the door and just wait for… anything.

 ***

       In the two hours Y/N had spent in the apartment, she already felt like going insane, having been left alone with her thoughts, so how she was going to do another two weeks after finally getting back into the rhythm of work was beyond her. She didn’t have any of her knitting supplies, didn’t have any of her books (yet), and most likely there was no reason to look at her script anymore, as she’d made up her mind about a lot of things. 

      There was a knock at the door, and Y/N instantly had a mask on her face and gloves on her hands. She peeped through the peephole and when she saw boxes lined in the hallway, three people in masks and faceguards at least six feet away, only then did she open the door and give them a wave.

      “Everything should be here, but if you need anything else just pop me a message.” Anna then pointed at a bag that sat atop everything. “There are the most important things, so you don’t have to rummage through everything and a pizza is on the way while I do some grocery shopping for you. And umm, there’s a paper you need to sing that you know you need to be in self-isolation and that you understand what happens if you’re not.”

      Y/N hoped all of them understood she was smiling underneath the mask, grateful for having them help her out like that. “Thank you. So much.”

      She rushed inside found a pen and signed it, moving between the boxes to place the papers on the stairs so that they could be safely retrieved. With that, the two assigned people left, leaving Anna to say goodbye.

      “Call me.” She pointed at Y/N. “No matter what, even if you just wanna talk for five seconds.”

      “Will do.” Y/N nodded and gave her a thumbs up. “If I could, I’d hug you.”

      Anna sighed, cocking her head. “Same. And umm, Harry told me to ask you to call him.”

      “Yeah, uh thank you.” She knew he probably wanted to talk, so it wasn’t that big of a surprise, but it still made her stumble on her words. “Take care, Anna.”

      “You too.”

***

       The next two days Y/N spent worrying as to how to present her decisions to the cast and crew. She felt worse with every hour, and with that had come her thought process, but as much as everyone was going to be impacted by what she was going to do, Olivia would be the one dealing with it most, so later that night she hopped on a Zoom call with her director.

      “Hey, girl.” Olivia gave her a warm smile, and Y/N almost melted. God, she loved that woman. She was like the older sister she never had. “How are you doing?”

      “I’m alright. Feelin’ kind of woozy from time to time, throat’s killing me, and I’m fairly certain I’m getting abs from how much I’m coughing.” That made both of them chuckle before Y/N bit her lip and ran a hand through her hair. “Look,” she sighed, looking at Olivia. “The reason I called you is that umm… well, I think it’d be a lot more cost-effective for you to re-cast me. We’ve barely shot one scene with me. I’ll be out of commission for two weeks, as a minimum. It could get worse. And I’m definitely not going to be back before I get two negative consecutive tests.”

      Olivia shook her head, running down her hands over her face and then through her hair. “Y/N, I really don’t want to do this. There’s a reason we cast you. You’re amazing, and yours and Harry’s chemistry is off the charts. We’re all quarantining for two weeks, and I’m sure you’ll be fine in no time, back on set and killing it like you always do.”

      “You don’t know that.”

      “Of course, I do! Nothing’s gonna happen to you.”

      “All I’m saying it could take up to a month to get those two negative tests. By that point, you could’ve shot at least a fourth of my scenes. Olivia…” Y/N gave her a small, sad smile. “I know you know I’m right. I hate to pass on this, but I won’t hinder the production. If you want my input, I’ll help with the re-casting, if it takes the guilt away.”

      “I still feel like shit this is an option we even have to consider.”

      “’S not your fault. You didn’t get me sick. We should be happy it’s just me, not someone else or more than one person.”

            ***

      For two more days, it was radio silence from Y/N, and Harry and Florence were anxious messes. If they could distract themselves from the falling out while on set, then now, having to be cooped up inside the apartment with pretty much nothing to do, was so much worse, not to mention Y/N declined all of their calls and left their messages on read, leaving the only option for checking in either through Anna or what she decided to share on her social media, which wasn’t a lot. But the thing was, Harry knew his best bet was to call Y/N in the middle of the night. Disorientated and barely awake, she probably wouldn’t look at the caller ID once. And he was right.

      A bleary face appeared on his screen, eyes squinting as she tried to block out as much of the light as possible. “Hello?” Her voice was scratchy, and Harry’s heart clenched at just how much pain her throat must be in, let alone how she was feeling as a whole.

      “Hey, there, lovie.”

      It took her a second to comprehend the person who was speaking, and she’d be lying if she said hearing Harry’s voice didn’t bring her some sort of joy. “Hey, H. Are you alright? Why are you still up?”

      “I couldn’t sleep. Kept thinking about you.”

      Y/N hummed, rolling on her side, and immediately regretting it as the action elicited a coughing fit. “Yeah?” she asked hoarsely. “ ’Nd what about me?”

      ‘How shitty I feel about everything’, ‘I miss you’, ‘I’m so fucking terrified’, but instead he asked, “How are you doing?”

      “Alright,” Y/N croaked out before her body was racked with coughs once more. Harry’s own chest hurt just hearing them. “Fever’s finally down, so I’m getting some sort of sleep. Throat’s killing me though, and they’ve hooked me up to an IV. They’ll be coming in two hours or so to change the bag. How are you?” she asked quietly. “How’s Florence?”

      “She’s alright. Upset. Just like I am.”

      Y/N’s brows furrowed. “Why’re you upset?”

      “Are you kidding me? You’re sick, alone in quarantine and… and we can’t help you. I can’t help you.”

      A genuine chuckle escaped her. “Didn’t know you had a medical degree, Styles. Could be my personal nurse. Fetch me my water and shit.”

      “No, but at least I’d like to be there for you.”

      “Harry…” 

      “I like you,” he said after taking a deep breath, hoping that the break he’d heard in Y/N’s voice as she’d said his name wasn’t just because of the sickness, but because her heart thudded just as fast as his when he thought of them together, that her mind reeled with the possibilities of where their futures could take them and that whenever they touched, she could feel the electricity that ran through his fingertips, igniting his whole body. “That’s what Florence and I were whispering about all the time. Is that I’m madly crushing on you, and I couldn’t gather the courage to say it to you.”

      A strong coughing fit made her drop the phone on the bed and lean over, as she gasped for breath, and through it all, all Harry wanted was to be there. Fuck him possibly getting the virus, as long as he could make it easier for her in some way. 

      “ ’M sorry,” Y/N whispered, trying to keep her voice as low as possible as to not aggravate her throat. “Harry, I’m so sorry.”

      “Hey, there’s nothing to apologise. You’re sick, you can’t help –”

      “No,” she shook her head. “I’m sorry I assumed you and Florence were talking bad behind my back. I never should’ve done that. And this is not an excuse, I’m not trying to shift the blame from being in the wrong, but I like you too.” She gave him a shy grin that he thought was as bright as the sun. “I really like you too, Harry. I think that’s why it hurt so much to hear you two whispering ‘bout something. And thinking it was about me, and it was something bad, hurt even more, ‘cause I really connected with Flo, and I kinda, well I kind of fell for you. Hard.”

      “You did?” His tone was like he didn’t believe what his ears were hearing.

      “Yeah. A lot actually… I – I really like you, Harry.”

      He couldn’t explain how his heart expanded in his chest while simultaneously was being crushed by his inability to help, by the distance between them, while the hope that glimmered in his eyes at Y/N’s words made her heart break as much as his was, when he asked, “So you won’t resign?”

“Harry,” Y/N made her voice as tough as it could sound with her condition. “I told them to re-cast me not because of you. I’ve been on enough sets and worked with enough pricks, and still gotten the job done. Genuinely, this is not because of you or Florence. I just – I just don’t want to hold up production. You’ll all be out in what – twelve days or something? I’ll be here for at least twice that, if everything goes the way it’s going right now.”

      “I don’t want anyone else to play Larie. You are my Larie,” he muttered, which made Y/N smile, but in a true Y/N fashion she just wanted to make others feel better. 

      “You do know Jack murders Larie in the middle of the night.”

      Harry’s mouth opened like a fishes’ while Y/N’s mouth pulled up in a grin. “That’s – that’s not what I mean, and you know it!”

      Both of them were laughing now, all tension having evaporated. 

      “I know.” She bit on her lower lip. “But um… we’ve gotta be practical. I sent Olivia my resignation letter already, and she signed.”

      She saw Harry sigh and throw back his head at her words. 

      “ ’M sorry, Haz. I didn’t want to but –”

      “I know.” His smile was gentle, understanding. “You always put everyone before yourself. God, this just sucks major ass.”

      “Trust me,” Y/N started before being interrupted by another major coughing fit. “I –,” she took in a breath. “I know.”

      Her heart cracked seeing Harry’s face and his green eyes, the eyes she’d gotten lost in more times than she’d ever admitted being lined by tears. “I wish I could help you.”

      “But you are. Just by – by talking to me, by keeping my mind off things. You’re helping me more than you’ll ever know.”

      “When you get out, I’m taking you on a date.”

      Y/N couldn’t help the smile that bloomed on her face. For the first time in a while, she felt good, despite being sick. “Is that a threat, Styles?”

      “It’s a fucking promise.”

      That night she fell asleep listening to Harry talking, seeing as it became harder and harder for her to do so, so he just took over, telling her stories that lulled her to dreamland where he was there, and she could touch him. 

      The following days she also had calls with Florence and the rest of her cast to explain the situation, but she wasn’t doing much talking anymore, and one night they’d even seen her almost throw up from coughing so much, which broke everyone’s hearts. They were lucky the only Covid case before Y/N had been a light one, so witnessing just how brutal it could be, made everyone appreciate what they had, but at the same time, feel as helpless as ever.

      A week and a half in, that was when shit really hit the fan. Despite her feeling shitty the previous days, now Y/N woke up from the feeling as if she was drowning. She’d fallen asleep while talking with Harry on FaceTime, his features illuminated on her phone. At first, she thought it was just her dream still lingering and causing that effect, but when after a minute or so her lungs still remained on fire, she knew she had to dial the doctors.

      In five minutes’ time, an ambulance was at her door, and it was a miracle she’d been able to get out of bed to open it because the second she did, her whole body pretty much collapsed into the arms of one of the nurses. 

*** 

      “Come on,” Harry muttered into the phone, pulling on a pair of trousers as quickly as possible and a knitted sweater he took from the floor as he immediately tried to redial her, having heard the call drop. “Come on! Pick up, Y/N!” Her voicemail answered instead.

      “Damn it!”

      It took Harry seven minutes with the way he was driving to get to her assigned isolation place, only to be greeted by red and blue flashing lights, an ambulance right in front of the entrance, and it took Harry five seconds to feel his heart drop as a team of three doctors wheeled out a gurney on which lay Y/N, face covered in a mask, an IV stuck inside her arm while a huge plastic cover domed over her body.

      Without even thinking about himself or his safety, Harry jumped out of his car, rushing towards the ambulance.

      “Sir.” One of the doctors extended a palm towards him, keeping him back as Harry tried to get towards the inside of the car. “Sir, you can’t be here.”

      “Is that Y/N?” Harry felt like he was spinning out of control, and his mind was dizzy from not being able to take in a proper breath. “Is – is that Y/N?” 

      “Are you family?”

      “I –,” Harry so desperately wanted to say yes, to say he was her boyfriend at least, but he couldn’t lie. “No, I’m just her collegue – friend! I’m her friend. Is she alright?”

      “Okay, well is there anyone we can contact from her family?”

      Harry nodded, knowing that her mum and dad were on her emergency contact lists. “But her family is out of the country, and they won’t be able to fly out with all the restrictions in place.”

      “Alright.” The doctor sighed before looking back inside the car. In a way, Harry was happy he couldn’t see Y/N because he was sure if he did, he’d completely break down and crumble to the ground. “We’ll contact her parents, but if you could leave us your number as an emergency contact on place that’d be a lot of help.”

      “Okay, uh…” Harry took in a deep breath, held it for five seconds and then let it out before reciting the number he used while in the USA and his permanent UK number as well, so he could be reachable anywhere and at any point in day or night, no matter the time. 

      “Well keep you up to date.”

      And with that, the ambulance doors shut, and they rushed away, the vailing of sirens echoing in the dark night, leaving Harry with a hand in his hair, tears streaming down his cheeks and without a clue as to what to do.

***

      In the end, Harry had gone back to his car and cried for what felt like ages, but instead, it was just twenty minutes. He pulled himself together but was still shaking as he made his way back to the flat where Florence basically ripped open the door. Seeing his face told her everything she needed to know.

      “She’ll be alright,” the woman muttered as she soothed Harry by rubbing a palm up and down his back, letting him hide his face in her shoulder. “It’s Y/N. She’d pull through an atomic bomb.”

      They spent the rest of the night and the following day on the couch, glued to Harry’s phone waiting for any sort of updates. From time to time a text message came from the hospital letting them know what procedures were being done on Y/N, that her parents have been informed, and if necessary, they’d allowed Harry to be the main contact person because of his proximity to their daughter.

      Three days later and the quarantine for the rest of the cast and crew ended, yet when they returned to the set, everyone was in low spirits. Especially, Harry – he was miserable. Every moment spent not reciting lines or acting was occupied with the thoughts of Y/N, how she was doing, was she improving, was she still breathing, how he wanted to just ditch everything and run to her, to help in whatever way he could.

      “This sucks,” Florence grumbled, arms crossed over her chest as they took a break while re-setting already in for the fifth day of filming, eight since Y/N’d been in the hospital. “Can’t believe they won’t allow a phone in with her.”

      “It’s the same policy for everyone, but trust me,” Harry sighed and looked up at the bright blue sunny sky above. “The number of times I got out of my bed in the middle of the night and had the car keys in hand is ridiculous. And the number of times I’ve thought about breaking into that hospital is even more concerning.”     

      Florence let out a small chuckle and nudged his shoulder. “I’d cover for you if you did. As long as she doesn’t have to be there alone.” She hung her head, blond strands falling down to curtain her face. “Can’t imagine how scared she must be.”

      Harry just sighed. There really wasn’t anything he could say. 

      Something vibrated in his pocket, but he no longer furrowed his brows when unknown numbers called, knowing it was from the hospital. It was nerve-wracking though to pick up the call each time because he had to mentally prepare himself for the possibility of bad news, even though he always hoped for good ones. 

      “Yes, hi. Hello. I – oh,” he put a hand over his mouth and sagged down onto a chair. “Oh, thank god, thank you, doctor. Yeah. Yes, I’ll let her know, and someone will be there to open the flat. Thank you again. For everything.”

      He took away the phone from his ear and stared at the ground for a minute before leaping up and hugging Florence, laughter escaping his mouth.

      “What’s wrong?”

      “Nothing. Nothing’s wrong, it’s the opposite. Y/N’s out of the hospital.”

      “Oh thank god!” Her hands flew to hug him back.

      “She’ll have to stay in self-isolation until the two negative tests and will be monitored by the doctors, but she’s out.”

        Immediately he was dialling her, and Harry had never been as happy for the invention of a video call, because when he saw Y/N’s face light up the screen, as tired as she looked, it was the most beautiful sight that graced his eyes.

      “Hey, lovie.” His voice was soft and low as if anything louder would worsen her state.

      Her ‘hey’ was barely audible, but he heard it, and it made the weight of a boulder drop off his shoulders.

      “I’m so – I mean we all are so happy you’re back home.”

      Y/N smiled, shaking her head. “I’m happy too,” she whispered. “I missed you. Missed everyone, but most of all I missed you.”

      Harry was happy they were separated by a screen because if she was anywhere in a five-mile radius, he was sure she would be able to hear his heart beat out of his ribcage at her words. “How are you feeling?”

      “ ‘M alright,” Y/N tried to let him know. “Very tired.”

      “Then get back to sleep, lovie.”

      Y/N shook her head. “Wanna talk to you.”

      “I’ll keep talking,” Harry promised. “Like we did before, okay.”

      “Okay…”

      And so, he did. He kept talking as Y/N listened, and he watched as her eyes slowly closed before she drifted off to sleep. Even though Harry had to go back to filming, he didn’t dare end the call. He’d never end the call. 

***

      It took a month and a half for Y/N to get those two consecutive negative tests, to feel somewhat human again and when she did, she probably garnered at least seven speeding tickets with how fast she was driving down to the set.

      It was the most inconspicuous outfit she could scramble together, consisting of a hoodie and baseball cap, as she watched Harry as Jack lean down to peck the actress’s lips, then step into the vintage car and rev out in the driveway, while a dishevelled Florence started the scene from the side, eyes racking over Jack’s first wife, who was dressed the exact same way, hair styled like hers and even nails painted the same, her character putting all the puzzle pieces together. 

      “And cut!” Olivia yelled across the lot, nudging Y/N’s side and giving her a smirk. “He’s gonna freak. You’re all he’s been talking about on set. We almost had to put a ban on you as a topic,” she muttered that part so only the woman could hear while telling everyone to re-set, so they could do the scene from another angle, but not before asking the three actors to come and look at the monitors so they could understand how to move in order to keep the continuity.

      Y/N moved to the side, ducking her head down as Harry, Florence and Mandy, the actress that took over her role, all leaned closer to watch the monitors. Y/N had to bite on her lip to keep the grin away, as all of them analysed their movements and the scene, nodding along to what Olivia was saying.

      “Y/L/N, what do you think?” Olivia asked, grinning. 

      Y/N stepped forward a bit, seeing all of their shocked faces through her peripheral, as she pointed to the screen, lifting her head so that everyone could see her face fully. “I think it’s great, you might want to step to the side a bit more, Harry, when –” but she was unable to finish the sentence as he swooped her in his arms, lifting her basically off the ground, and burying his face in her neck.

      “Watch the hair! Daniele will have a fit if you ruin her masterpiece!” Y/N laughed, holding one of her hands on the base of his neck, the other tightly wrapped around his shoulders, but he just shook his head, and she could feel tears splash her skin.

      “Fuck the hair!” He let out a small chuckle, and she could hear the lump in his throat. “I’ve missed you so much. I was so scared.”

      “Same,” Y/N whispered. “Missed you like crazy. And your stupid, unfunny dad jokes.”

      “ ‘M hilarious, lovie, what are you talking about?”

      He finally set her down but didn’t let go of her waist, and she smiled cupping his cheeks. “A true comedian, that’s what you are.”

      “I know. Why’dya think I got that SNL slot?”

      But his eyes, as he gazed into hers once more glassed over.

      “Hey,” Y/N cooed wiping away the tears running down his cheeks. “Don’t cry. Please don’t cry, cause then I’ll cry, and we’re both gonna be crying messes, and then these guys will have to deal with that.”

      Harry sighed, leaning into her touch. “Happy tears, lovie. All happy tears.”

      The two looked at one another as if there was no one else in the universe. And for the two of them, there really wasn’t. Neither had to say what was on their minds, they already knew.

      His face was inching closer to Y/N’s, and heart started to beat erratically, not that Harry minded, as his palm rested in the middle of her back. In fact, his own heart mimicked the rhythm, but it stuttered when someone behind him cleared their throat and interrupted their moment.

      Y/N hid her face in Harry’s chest as he sighed at Olivia’s raised eyebrow. 

      “You’ll be able to smooch as much as you want, but we need him in hair and make-up.”

      “Oli-“

      “Now,” she let out a small laugh. “Before Daniele removes my head from my shoulders.”

      “Go,” Y/N patted his side. “I’ll still be here.”

      “Is that a threat?”

      She grinned up at him. “A fucking promise.”

      Harry dashed away like lightning, hoping that the quicker he was done, the sooner he could have Y/N back in his arms even if it was for a second, but her attention was taken by a woman with long blond curls, a flowing green slip on her figure; her steps unsure as was the wave she gave her, but Y/N’s heart melted at the sight of her.

      “Hey, Flo,” she whispered and brought the girl in a bone-crushing hug, holding onto her, trying to convey how much she regretted her words and actions, especially because they were unwarranted.

      “I’m so sorry,” Y/N said, and she nodded.

      “Me too.”

      Y/N shook her head. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry about. I shouldn’t have assumed.”

      “And I should’ve made sure Harry pulled his head out of his ass.”

      That made both of them laugh, and it was nice to do it not only without having to cough up her insides, but to do it with someone she’d connected with and had become great friends with.

      “He did that. I just hope if he wants to make another move, it won’t take me dying to push him to.”

      Florence pointed at her, a serious look on her face. “I’ll kill him with my bare hands if he does.”

      A small noise of someone clearing their throat from behind Y/N took both of their attentions for them to go onto the actress who’d been cast as her replacement, the woman coming forward and extending her hand for a handshake with a nervous smile. “Hi. I’m Mandy.”

      “ ‘S very nice to meet you.” Y/N tried to give off as open and accepting of a vibe as much as possible, because she genuinely wanted Mandy to feel respected and that she wasn’t a threat. “Before you think anything if you’re worried about me taking the role, don’t. It’s all yours, so don’t worry about that. I just stopped by ‘cause I hadn’t seen anyone in almost two months. Never thought I’d say this, but fuck did I missed people.”

      Mandy shook her head, her smile a lot lighter and brighter now. “I – uh thank you for that actually. I’m a huge fan of yours, and well, can only try and live up to what you would’ve portrayed.”

      “Well, I’m sure you’ll absolutely kill it, and I can’t wait for the movie.”

      It was great to see Mandy’s shoulders drop in relief. “Would it be too much if I asked for advice on the role?”

      “No,” Y/N laughed. “But I would say that you should make this role your own. It is yours. You are Larie now. And Harry’s Jack. Make it yours.”

      As she said that, she turned to watch Harry who was practically bouncing on his feet, green eyes flitting back to where she was standing, and when their gazes met, neither could help the smiles blooming on their faces.

       “You know he messed up a scene once and said your name?”    

      Y/N’s brows furrowed as she looked over at Mandy. “What do you mean ‘said my name’?”

      “It was a kissing scene. The wedding bit, actually. As Jack and Larie recited their vows, and he leans down to kiss her, he was supposed to say, ‘I’ll love you Larie, until the very end’. He said your name instead.”

      That hit Y/N more than a semi-truck wheeling a ton of bricks would. Yes, she knew Harry liked her, and he knew she liked him, but love was a big word, and for him to admit that, whether it was a flub or not, was even bigger.

      Harry was a private person. While he openly talked about what he felt, he guarded heart at the same time, much like Y/N did. But she had to wait until Olivia yelled cut for the day, and had to watch him make a mad dash for hair and make-up before running to the dressing trailer as he didn’t want to miss out on a second he could spend with her. Even as they walked up to their shared flat and he opened the door, his fingers stayed intertwined with hers.

      “How does it feel to be back?”

      “Kinda shitty, honestly,” Y/N laughed throwing the keys to the table and shrugging out of the jacket and taking off the cap, Harry immediately helping her and putting it on one of the racks. “I’ll have to move out, now that I’m not part of the movie.”

      “Why? ‘S not like the production is paying our rent, we’re doing it out of our own pocket.”

      “Yes, but now that I don’t have a job, I kinda need to look for one.”

      “And what says that you can’t live here while you do that?”

      “I –,” Y/N’s brows furrowed. “I mean nothing, really… I just… kinda thought because I’m not part of the movie anymore it’d be safer if I found my own place. But um… I think I have something else I’d like to talk about. Mandy,” Y/N dragged out her name a bit, a sly smirk appearing on her face, “told me you had a flub on set.”

      Harry’s heart was pounding underneath her palm where she’d grabbed onto the lapels of his dress shirt, so he couldn’t run away. 

“I’ve uh,” he let out a nervous laugh. “I’ve had a couple of flubs on set. Who hasn’t?”

      “I don’t doubt that. But she said you misspoke a name.”

      She made him look into her eyes and wouldn’t dare let their gaze break. “You said my name during the wedding scene. You said Y/N. Not Larie.”

      Harry looked like a cross between a deer in headlights and a fish out of the water, eyes wide with his mouth opening and closing, no sound coming out, which made Y/N worry a bit.

      She placed a palm against his cheek. “Harry? You alright?”

      “I – I meant it.” He let out a deep sigh and leaned down to press his forehead to hers. “And when I thought back on it, I don’t remember seeing her face or Larie’s face. It was yours. And the lips I was kissing belonged to you too. I was holding your hand, and you were holding mine. And I know it’s way too quick, for a wedding -”

      “Unless you threaten me with it –”

      “I –,” Harry stuttered before laughing, all tension evaporating from his body. “No, that I don’t want to be a threat. That will be a question asked with love and hopefully an answer given to it the same way.”

      Y/N nudged his nose with hers. “Well, we’ll see. I mean if you don’t kiss me what makes you th–,” 

      But she didn’t get a chance to finish the sentence before his lips were on hers, pressing with such gentleness, it made her weak at the knees, and she would’ve crumbled if Harry’s arms handn’t woven around her middle, fingers pressing into the sides, the pressure increasing with each second their mouths were connected. 

      Harry’s hand drifted up Y/N’s back and settled on her neck as if he could pull her any closer, her own palms slipping over his stomach, pecks and grabbing onto his jaw, fingers lightly scratching at the stubble that’d grown throughout the day. He had to shave every morning for the role of Jack, but each evening she’d see a small, darkened shadow across his skin, and Y/N would be lying that when she’d realised her attraction to him, she hadn’t thought about how delicious it would feel to have it leave small burn marks on the inside of her thighs. 

      Unconsciously, she clenched her thighs, trying to create some sort of friction which became more and more unbearable as she felt Harry moan into her mouth, tongue sweeping against her lower lip, asking for permission without words, which Y/N granted without a second to spare. 

      It was heavenly to have him so close to her. She did wonder if the sensation was intensified by the fact, she hadn’t been able to touch anyone properly for almost two months, but that thought vanished when his fingers skimmed underneath her hoodie, brushing against her heated skin. No. It was because it was Harry.

       “I –,” he was breathless as he pulled away, but Y/N didn’t let him get too far, her lips attaching themselves to his neck, making him groan in pleasure. “I don’t want to push this too far.”

      Her brows scrunched up, as she took a look at him. “What do you mean? If you think I don’t want this, then let me be perfectly clear – I do. A lot.”

      Harry chuckled, shaking his head. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m so fucking glad you do, but… Y/N you just got out of the hospital, where you were on a ventilator. I don’t want to make anything worse.”

      “Not your choice to make.” A devious smile appeared on her face, as she stepped a few feet away and lifted her hoodie over her head, making Harry inhale sharply. “So here are your two options.” Her hands went behind her back, unclasping her bra and letting it slowly drop to the floor, the green eyes that hadn’t left her now wide as saucers. “Number one.” She toed off her boots and popped open the button of her jeans. “We can stop this, obviously, just say the word, and I get to my room, start packing and looking for a new place. We can have some dinner and just chill. Or number two.” Y/N hooked her jeans behind her thumbs and slowly dragged them down her legs, revealing more and more of herself to Harry. “We can go inside your room and make up for the lost time. In every position imaginable, for as long as you want. But.” Y/N’s eyes glimmered with mischief as she made her way to Harry’s room. “I don’t think you wanna take the first option.”

      Harry ran a hand through his hair, turning it from the meticulously gelled hairstyle into a mop of messy strands. “You know you’re making it really hard for me to be a gentleman.”

      Y/N swayed her hips a bit more as she took another step closer to his room, the door meeting her back, and one of her hands went to the doorknob, pressing down on it. “Well, a gentleman doesn’t kiss before the first date, and definitely not like that.”

      He stood there, hands on his hips, eyes not leaving her body, as she cocked her head. “So, what’s it gonna be?”

      They were ten torturous seconds for both, hearts beating out of their chests, but it only took three steps for Harry to cross the hallway, his hand sneaking behind Y/N’s back and pressing down on the doorknob as well, revealing the inside of his room. It was messy, much like her own, but it wouldn’t take too much to rip all off the tossed around bedding leaving a whole bed to themselves. 

      “You. Are. The. Devil.”

      Her smile was nothing short of wicked. “I mean you can listen to the angel on your shoulder.”

      “I’d rather listen to you.”

      Together they stepped inside, and Y/N nodded. “Making good choices already.”

      “Can’t get on your bad side, can I now?”

      “I mean you can.” Her legs hit the back of his bed and she fell down on it, Harry leaning over, resting his elbows next to her head. “But bad boys get punished.”

      His nose skimmed over hers. Now he was the one smiling like a devil. “I’ll hold you to your word. For future reference, that is.”

      That kiss was nothing like their first. This was messy, and passionate, all tongue and teeth, hands grabbing everywhere possible to get the other unclothed. Or at least that’s what Y/N was trying to do, seeing as she was pretty much naked already, and Harry was the one still wearing too much.

      Her hands pretty much ripped open the shirt. It one of his expensive Gucci ones, she was quite certain of it, but it didn’t seem like he cared, as he shrugged it off, throwing it to land somewhere on the floor.

      Y/N sighed into his mouth as her hands were now freely allowed to run over his chest, over the ink embedded into his skin, over taut muscles that relaxed under her touch, and dig into his sides in an attempt to leave her own marks on him, much like he was going to do to her. 

      “Think you can take your pants off? It’s only fair.” Y/N muttered into his mouth and his own travelled down to her cheek, then neck and to her chest.

      “You mean my trousers?”

      Her lips quirked up and she shrugged her shoulders. “No, in this case, I meant pants the British way.”

      “And if I’m going commando?”

      Y/N pressed her hand against his chest and pushed him away from her. “You had nothing underneath all day on set?”

      “No! I wouldn’t subject the dressing department to that. But underneath this.” He looked down at his jeans and smiled at her. “I do have nothing.”

      “Well then? Get on with it!”

      Both of them were giggling, as Y/N tried to unbuckle Harry’s belt, his own fingers mixing with hers as he went for the zipper and the button. He nudged his head towards her. “Your socks and pants come off as well. Or we’ll be unevenly matched.”

      Y/N lifted her eyebrow, as she went for her own remaining pieces of clothing. “No socks during sex?”

      “No, what kind of a weirdo do you think I am?”

      “And if my feet get cold?” She threw them away somewhere.

      “We have a blanket.”

      As Harry removed his jeans and his own socks, Y/N slipped off the dampened piece of clothing that’d been on her, now both of them completely naked. 

      “Alright.” He leaned over her again, her arms wrapping around his shoulders and pulling them chest to chest. “Happy now?”

      Y/N deeply kissed him. “Very. But I think we can make each other even happier.”

      “Agreed,” Harry hummed. “Wanna get a taste first.” He attached his lips to her collarbones sucking a bruise there. “Can I?”

      She groaned at the feeling, knowing there be a pleasant ache that accompanied mark. “You can. Don’t have to, if you don’t want. No need to do this for me.”

      “And if it’s for me?” Harry was moving lower and lower with each word, wet tongue flicking against a perked bud, and making Y/N gasp. “What if I wanna feel you cum on my tongue, and what if I wanna do something I’ve dreamed about for months now?”

      His hands were kneading her breasts, mouth having left a trail of kisses down the middle of her stomach as it was moving towards where an ache that’d been left untreated made itself more and more prominent. 

“Then please, please, please do something, Harry.”

      “With pleasure.”

      Luckily for Y/N, she didn’t have to beg any more, as his mouth attached itself to where she wanted him most, tongue sweeping past her lower lips and licking up a broad, steady stripe.

      One of her hands went to fist into her hair and the other into Harry’s. “Shit,” she moaned. “Fuck, that feels good.”

      “Guide me.” He licked a circle around her clit. “Tell me how you like it.”

      “Mhgm, fuck, okay,” Y/N breathed out. “I – I mean you’re doing great on your own.” Her chest was heaving as if she was running a marathon, and Harry shifted her legs so that they lay over his shoulders. “But umm, like if you lick around my clit, but like really press down li – oh, fuuuuck, just like that.”

      The coil in her stomach tightened with each pass he did, just like Y/N had instructed, small tight circles just how she did with her fingers, only what took her sometimes half an hour, Harry managed to do in less than ten minutes, to have her toes curling and hands grasping anywhere they could find purchase to just keep onto something real.

      The vibrations from Harry humming sent shivers straight to her core. “What else, lovie? What else, do you like?”

      “If – if –,” Y/N panted, “if you suck on it, but like – fuck – shit! If you kinda keep a seal around my clit, that fuck! Yes!”

      The way Harry was eating her out was almost sensational, but what made it even better wasn’t that he just decided to do something and assumed, she’d like it, he asked, he wanted to learn and discover what made her tick and turn, or in this case – cum. 

      “Harry, ‘m close,” Y/N warned him, feeling the warmth slowly start to spread all throughout her body. 

      “I’ll get you there.”

      He let his lips go for a moment before slipping two of his fingers so that they pinched her clit and moved them slowly but tightly up and down it, while his tongue went to slip inside her hole, and that did it for her.

      With a gasp of air, Y/N’s eyes rolled to be back of her head, hips lifting up as euphoria exploded through her veins. Her mind went completely dizzy, and she was quite sure some drool also dribbled down the side of her mouth because she’d lost all ability to function.

      “ -o me, love,” Y/N heard as if through a fog, and then felt two soothing palms running up and down her legs. “Come back, love. There you go.”

      A drunken smile bloomed on her face, and she ran a hand down it, the same hand that’d grabbed Harry’s hair like a vice. “Fuck. You’re good, you know what you’re doing.”

      “Well, I’m certainly glad you enjoyed yourself because I thoroughly enjoyed myself.”

      She watched as he straightened out to sit on his knees, her legs still over his shoulders, cock slapping against his stomach, and when she looked down there was a wet patch on his side of the sheets, a sly grin morphing on her face. “You liked eating me out so much you came yourself?”

      “What can I say – bringing pleasure, gives me pleasure. And your cunt’s probably the sweetest I’ve ever eaten. But… do you think you’re ready for me?” Harry asked, kissing the inside of Y/N’s thighs and watching as she vigorously nodded her head, but he just smirked. “I think I need to test it out. Just to make sure.”

       “Harry,” Y/N whined as she felt his fingers skim the apex of her thighs, teasing her. 

      “Don’t wanna hurt you.”

      With that, he used one of his hands to open up her lips, his thumb pressing down on her already sensitive clit, eliciting a gasp before he allowed two fingers to skim her entrance and then slipped in.

      “Still so tight,” he said, watching as Y/N sighed and her mouth fell open, his fingers curling in a come-hither motion. “Told you needed to check if you were ready. What kind of a gentleman would I be now, if I didn’t make sure you could take it?”

      Y/N gritted her teeth. “I can take you.”

      “Don’t doubt it.” Harry left kisses along her leg, as he continued on with his movements, noting how her hips slowly started to grind down on his palm, so he pushed his fingers in deeper so that the heel of his hand could rest against her clit, making the pleasure intensify. “But I’d never forgive myself if I hurt you when all I wanna do is give you pleasure. And you weren’t stretched out enough. Not yet at least.”

      “Oh, god, Harry,” Y/N groaned, one arm thrown over her eyes as his fingers hit just the right spot.

      “That’s it? Right there?”

      “Yes, right there,” she moaned. “Just. Fuck! Just don’t stop, please, don’t stop.”

      “Gonna cum again?”

      “Yes, just – just curl your fingers and twist them a bit more.”

      And much like the first time, a couple more times was all it took. Her orgasm was even more powerful than the previous and fully knocked her breath out of her lungs. Her legs fell open around his shoulders, stomach and chest spasming from the intensity. 

      Gentle fingers skimmed up and down Y/N’s arms and featherlight kisses fluttered over her breasts, then chest, neck and finally were peppered across her cheeks.

      “Kinda spaced out on me there. You alright? Not too much?”

      “ ’M – I’m good. But I’m pretty sure you’ve killed me.”

      Harry chuckled, and Y/N leaned her head to the side so she could press a kiss against the closest of the swallow tattoos. “Hopefully not. I still wanna take you out on that date.”

      Her eyes landed on Harry’s left hand’s ring finger, where a golden band still laid. 

      “Oh, yeah.” He lifted the digits, still covered in her cum before pushing them past his lips and licking them clean. “Forgot to remove it. Hope the prop guys don’t kill me.”

      She hated how his eyes sparkled, absolutely knowing what that sight did to her, how it made her stomach flutter and heart thunder against her ribs. Y/N was sure with the force it was pounding, they’d crack. 

      “Well, if they don’t, I will.” She pulled him down, nails raking on his skin, dragging to rest on his ass as they bit into it. “Now get inside me.”

      “Condom.”

      “No, ‘m on the pill.”

      “I’m clean, I swear, but it’s still not a hundred per cent safe.”

      Y/N shook her head. “I’ll buy the morning-after pill. Just need you inside.”

      “You sure?” Harry placed a strand of hair behind her ear. 

      “Yeah. I mean I’m clean, and uh… I just wanna feel you.”

      He’d cum once already, and Harry would be dammed if he did it again before having the chance to know how heaven feels like. As gently as possible, he took himself, giving a few strokes before nudging the tip against Y/N’s clit, her sharp inhale stalling him until she nodded. 

      Her nails dug into his biceps, as he finally slipped inside her, making both of them moan at the feeling. Even with all of the stretching out he’d done with his fingers, and the two orgasms he’d drawn from her, the slickness helping everything to be easy and smooth, Y/N still felt a little sting.

      Harry’s head dropped to Y/N’s shoulders and even from under him, she could feel his thighs and stomach shaking, as he tried to hold his composure and give her a little bit of time to adjust.

      A couple of deep breaths later, she tapped his ribs. “You can move now.”

      “ ‘ya sure?”

      “Mhm,” Y/N nodded her head and pecked his lips reassuringly. “Please.”

      His dishevelled and sweaty hair shook as he nodded and slowly drew back his hips so that just the tip of his cock remained in her before gliding back inside. The sight alone was more than enough to make both of them explode, but they wanted to last longer than thirty seconds, especially for their first time together. There’d be quickies for later, now they wanted to have a proper shag.

      Bit by bit, Harry’s pace quickened, pearls of sweat gliding down his skin and dampening the sheets below them, much like it was with Y/N. Her leg slid up to rest around his hips, giving him a better angle and more leverage for him to strike the right spot, as he pushed her knee to rest against her chest, Y/N’s head falling back to the pillow.

      Her insides were shaking from the pleasure, and it was like an invisible force was pushing down on her chest, as she struggled for a proper breath. “Harry,” she dragged out his name, the word turning into a high-pitched whine.

      “I know,” he responded in the same breathless voice. He could feel her tighten around him and wasn’t sure just how much longer he’d be able to keep up the pace. “Touch yourself ‘f me, lovie. C’mon, use those fingers.”

      Y/N did as she was told. It didn’t give her that butterfly feeling like it’d happened when they’d been Harry’s, but it did make her cum faster, and the sensation of her gushing around his cock made him lose all self-control and he spilled inside.

      It wasn’t enough for Y/N, but she guessed she needed to settle for it. She knew that nothing really ever touched in the universe, that the closest atoms ever come to touching one another is when their wave packets overlap, much like she and Harry were now overlapping, his body lying on top of hers, skin sweaty and frame trembling as he came down from his own high.

      “I uh,” Y/N cleared her throat, finger tracing the outline of one of the butterfly in the middle of Harry’s chest. “When the people came to get my stuff, I umm, asked them to take your rainbow cardigan. Wanted something that smelled like you, so I didn’t feel so alone. Was the first thing I put on when I got out of my hospital gown.”

      She felt his body rumble with laughter and a kiss being pressed to her forehead. “I know. Saw Anna stash it inside the suitcase. I uh, I was the one who also put in one of my sweaters. Know how cold you always get.”

      She hid her smile against his collarbones. “Thank you. For thinking of me.”

      “ 'M always thinking of you… Will you knit me one though?”

      Y/N raised her eyebrow. “Knit you one?”

      “Yes. I know you knit –“

      “Everyone knits nowadays.”

      Harry drew himself back a bit, and she pushed away the matted down strands from his forehead, wiping away the sweat from underneath his green eyes as well. “Yes, but the point is – there’ll be a million other Gucci shirts and sweaters and cardigans. But I’d like to have one-of-a-kind made by you. So, I have something to sleep next to when you’re not next to me.”

      Y/N ran a finger along his jawline, biting away her grin. “It’ll probably have mistakes. I’m not that good at it. ‘M not a professional.”

      “Exactly.” Harry tilted her head up with a finger and their eyes met. “Which is why it’ll be perfect.”

      “The arms will most likely be different lengths in the end.”

      “Don’t worry, darling.” He pecked her lips before hugging her and not letting go. “It’s flawless for me.”

Tags (crossed out wouldn’t take):

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A/N: My tags are always open :)

P.S. please don’t repost my work without specific written permission onto other platforms :)

[beevean]

@mashounen2003

The whole thing with Fiona Fox (and Scourge, for that matter) is a mess, indeed. There's a lot of misinformation, as well as Flynn fans once again not wanting to admit their fav writer fucked it up big time. Long story short: Flynn tried to write an abusive villain (Scourge) and a reference to Joker & Harley Quinn (Scourge & Fiona), but never understood Harley was supposed to be Joker's victim

Flynn also grew fond of Scourge, who became his pet villain & a Mary-Sue. Scourge's abuse towards Fiona was shown, wasn't ambiguous, and unlike Penders, Flynn recognizes emotional abuse as a bad thing. But Flynn didn't do all the necessary steps to clearly send the message that Scourge was evil, so now everyone thinks Scourge is some anarchist sex-god anti-hero

Also, Fiona was portrayed as massively petty & mean; before Flynn's run, Fiona was painfully underutilized but had some interesting depth and the potential for an uplifting story. When Flynn turned her into Scourge's victim-- Sorry... "girlfriend", her personality changed completely. There are clues of Fiona having secretly been manipulated by Scourge since a long time before her "betrayal", but this all remained at subtext-level

As you probably already know, Flynn has a problem, not with his own ideas on morality, but with how he makes morality work in his stories' universe. He thought Sonic & the Freedom Fighters would think that traitors like Fiona are worse than genocidals like Eggman or abusers like Scourge. & his stories mirror some of that too. Scourge is undoubtedly a vile monster but is treated a bit better, while Fiona is just misguided and has untreated childhood trauma but is written as an alpha bitch

That's also why I don't like when fans wanna make Fiona a good guy again and they give her a "redemption arc" when, TBH, that's not the way to do it. More of that in this post in my "mashounen2003" blog: post/646874203783577600/a-couple-of-grievances-i-have-with-some-tails-x. I recommend to take a look at what I reblogged from other people about both Fiona & Scourge (use tags "Fiona Fox" & "Scourge the Hedgehog" if necessary).

Admittedly, I'm a bit biased in favour of many concepts from Archie (yeah, I'm a fake fan, I should feel ashamed, yadda yadda yadda), but I like Archie mostly for its potential, not so much for what was actually done with its concepts (minus a few genuinely great stories). I still dislike most of Archie but for its ideas' execution; its concepts are interesting. I'm willing to pair Tails with Fiona, but only after rewriting this from scratch and doing some "character deconstruction".

Sorry for the long chain of continues in your ask box. There are many things omitted by both Archie fans (because they skipped every comic issue before Flynn, they're spellbound by Flynn and can't admit he did something wrong) & Archie critics (because they just stopped reading after all the genuinely ugly shit, so they didn't look beyond that)

I'm still a bit conflicted myself. Flynn isn't like Penders, he's not an abuse apologist or rape apologist like Penders; Flynn did point out other characters' emotional abuse & crappy actions during Penders run; & Flynn's versions of Shadow -& the entire Team Dark- and Knuckles in Archie (not in IDW) are some of the best in the franchise (that's why fans accuse SEGA of keeping Flynn's hands tied 24/7 now). But... *sigh*

Flynn has good ideas, but he executes them poorly half of the time, and he's quite unprofessional. If the audience thinks something is really "cool" or a trend at a given moment, Flynn lets that "cool" or "trending" thing influence his work a lot. "House of Cards" happened largely because Marvel's "Civil War" event, as infamous as it was, also had record sales. Metal Virus was so stupidly depressing because The Walking Dead was still popular at some extent

And the same happened with Scourge & Fiona, albeit this'd only be evident 10 years later, when the 1st Suicide Squad movie was released. Jared Leto Joker was sanitized as hell, pretty much like Scourge; Harley was just arm candy for Joker while the abuse was never even mentioned (even though anyone who watched DC cartoons or read DC comics knows Harley is a victim and, not a long time later, gets away from Joker & becomes very much a hero), pretty much like Fiona and it was all because that "bad boy & bad girl" thing, devoid of the source material's context, was popular because there were many teenagers romantizing abuse. In Archie's case, Flynn fans lacked the context for Scourge's creation and didn't know about Fiona's previous appearances because they never wanted to touch the comics before Flynn's run (which I can understand, but still... they were still canon; moreover, Flynn outright referenced them time & time again until Archie's reboot)

I should have written all this on a post on my own blog. Once again, I apologize; I wrote this after being suddenly inspired & I didn't want that inspiration to go away. I also recommend reading "toaarcan" Tumblr account, maybe asking him about this; he can explain all this better than me, more patiently and in a more concise format, and he's useful as he has opinions different from the prevailing ones in the Archie-Sonic fandom and in the Sonic fandom in general. 

I had to put your askes like this haha

I appreciate the perspective of someone who has read the entirety of Archie, the good, the bad and the very ugly. I go by hearsay and posts of other people, which is not enough to form a complete analysis

Huh, Flynn turning another female character into an asshole? Apparently he did the same with Rouge (to be fair, such an amateurish mistake was common at the time :\). Also Fiona being treated worse than Scourge? Sheesh...

I would like to see his Team Dark and his Knuckles in Archie, especially his Shadow. I don’t like justifying his mistakes with “mandates”, but with Shadow I can believe that he had to change his personality to follow the current canon one :\

Also yeah, Penders... I’m glad that the dude was pretty much exiled from the franchise and we don’t have to worry about him again, because man, what little I know about him makes my skin crawl.

[androgynousblackbox]

howdy! regarding poppy playtime, there's a lot of shit associated with it. had a long day, so I dunno how to word it. not saying people can't enjoy it I literally have a poppy playtime icon. here's a video with all of the shit: https://youtu.be/E105U5d6i8w

here's a second video breaking down the apology whatshisface made to the animator and why his apology sucks. take from it what you'd like of course.: https://youtu.be/1PEgFzmvS2o

The guy who made those is precisely part of the issue I am talking about. A big part of the issue actually. He is fine throwing up Poppy Playtime but has an entire channel almost completely dedicated to FNAF and nobody seems to care about this obvious discrepancy. Whenever I comment about this on comment sections I get the same response "but Scoot didn't do anything wrong!" over and over again. That guy particularly can fuck right off. The moralizing only comes out when it's convenient to him. I am looking right now and I haven't found ANYTHING of him even adressing the Scoot fiasco. Maybe he does have a video somewhere being "uwuw but so many people work onthis franchise so that is why it's okay to support it uwuwuwuwu" or even worse "Scoot went through sooooo much, poor millionaire uwuw" but if he does I can't find it and, anyway, I don't give a fuck which is his reasoning for still defending, supporting and upholding Scoot's shit as if it smelled like roses. Like jesus fuck, watch that video again and count how many times this guy keeps talking about Scoot as if he were the superior indie developer and so much more principled, so much better than the guy of PoppyPlaytime. Literally licking Scoot's ass clean. My dude, you didn't even HAD to bring him up, but now that you did I can clearly see where your priotities lie. So, once again, according to some people. Financing the careers of politicians that will make the lives of marginalized people WORSE while profitting off the good will of those marginalized people? Totally fine. Very okay. Cash money even. You are a oversensitive snowflake if you have any issue with that! Selling too much merch, doing a movie deal (and other stuff we MIGHT mention but not really, it's mostly the merch, literally look most comments and it's going to be about fucking merch) and making too many plushies? Absolutely diabolical. Evil. Disgusting. Unacceptable for our super high standard. Can't do that. Bye bye. It fucks with me where some of these fuckers draw the line. I much prefer someone that doesn't give a fuck about either controversy over someone that clearly only gives a fuck about one but doesn't the other, and the one they don't care about happens to be the one that involves taking away human rights for people that aren't them.

Anyway, here is a Jim Sterling video about why Scoot Catwon sucks to clean the soul because, by god, I need it after even thinking about this bullshit again. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5WhJcljOA0

[animebw]

Short Reflection: RWBY Volume 8

To this day, it still amazes me that something like RWBY is able to exist. This show developed from the ground up, slowly transforming from a half-watchable webseries with awkward animation and writing into one of the best damn fantasy series in recent memory. It’s a show that perfectly straddles the line between Japanese anime and Western cartoon, taking the best parts of each and reforging them into something new and exciting. What started as an amateur effort from a mostly unknown team has grown into one of the biggest franchises in the Western animation fandom. Ruby Rose, Yang Xiao Long, Weiss Schnee, Blake Belladonna, and all their assorted friends and foes are as high-profile as the likes of Steven Universe and the Pines Twins, and it all started with nothing more than Monty Oum having a dream and Rooster Teeth deciding that dream was worth realizing. This show may not be perfect, but I have so much damn respect for what its accomplished and how it continues to push itself to greater and greater heights. And Volume 8 continues that trend by going darker and nastier than ever before. This is easily the bleakest volume since the fall of Beacon, a death spiral of intensity that puts our lovable cast through the fires of hell and leaves scars that may never fully heal. It’s one hell of a volume, and it easily ranks among this show’s best installments.

Things pick back up right where volume 7 left off, which is to say, Not Good. Ironwood’s paranoid desire to protect Atlas at any cost has descended into full-on fascism, and he’s gunning for Team RWBY at every turn. Qrow and Robin are in prison. Salem’s army is descending upon Mantle, putting the entire populace at risk. Shit is really, really bad, and pretty much everyone knows that things are likely only gotta get worse before they get better. With too many problems to fix, our protagonists are forced to split up; Ruby, Penny, Weiss and Blake sneak into Atlas to try and get an SOS out to the rest of the world, while Yang, Ren, Jaune and Oscar remain down in Mantle to get everyone to safety before the full weight of Salem’s forces touch down. As you might expect, things very quickly start going wrong for both these teams, and their mission grows increasingly perilous by the episode. No matter where they turn, there’s another problem to fix, another enemy out to destroy them, another threat that requires all of their strength to overcome. And as the pressure mounts and everyone reaches their breaking point, everyone is forced to ask hard questions about who they really are, and what they really want to be.

That sense of being overwhelmed is what sticks out most from this volume. There is so much stuff going on, so many moving pieces and long-gestating subplots bursting to the forefront. But while I felt that Volume 7 was sometimes too complex for its own good and didn’t have enough time to breathe, Volume 8 knows how to make all these threads count. Both RWBYJNR teams get good character moments that explore how the stress and trauma affects them. Ironwood’s continued descent into evil turns him into a terrifying antagonist. There’s time spent on the Ace-Ops as they grapple with the loss of their leader, Winter as she struggles to decide where her loyalties truly lie, the rest of the Schnee family trying to come together in crisis, Qrow’s lingering guilt over Clover’s death, Salem’s plans coming to fruition, Hazel and Emerald starting to question their loyalty to their queen. Meanwhile, Cinder and Penny's arcs take center stage, forming the volume’s emotional backbone for the heroes and villains alike. This is a messy, complicated war with people on so many different sides, all with their own goals and reasons for fighting, all of whom pose different kinds of threats toward everyone else. And the show does a fantastic job giving every faction a chance to be important and undergo meaningful development. (well, for the most part; Pietro and Maria kinda disappear halfway through the season again, which is a shame).

And holy shit, what development it is. While I don’t want to spoil too much, volume 8 feels like a climax point that RWBY’s been building towards for a long time. In the pressure-cooker of Salem’s assault, so many long-gestating subplots and bits of foreshadowing burst into glorious bloom. Dark secrets are revealed, people change sides, characters make earth-shaking choices that change the nature of their place in the show forever. Oh, and there’s death. Lots of death. Not just nameless background characters either; our main cast suffers a lot of casualties. Not even the fall of Beacon has a body count this high. More than anything, volume 8 feels laser-focused on delivering meaningful consequences, shaking up the playing field in ways that have been a long time coming and can never be reneged upon. Pretty much no one ends this volume in the same place they started it in; they’ve either died, suffered lasting trauma, or grown into the most complete version of themselves yet (sometimes all three!). And no side in this war is safe from those consequences, not the heroes, not the villains, not everyone caught in between. Everyone is changed irreversibly by the events of volume 8, for better or worse. And watching those changes unfold over the course of these fourteen intense episodes makes for some of the hardest-hitting, most emotionally gripping storytelling RWBY’s ever given us.

Of course, as good as this volume is, it’s still not perfect. While it’s mostly recovered from volume 7′s occasionally cluttered pacing, there are a few moments that feel like they breeze by too quickly. And the dialogue can be... very awkward at points. It’s the kind of dialogue where story function is prioritized over natural speaking cadence; conversations come off more like checklists of plot and character beats being ticked off and less like, well, conversations. it gets the job done, but too many times it feels like the writers are speaking through the characters to tell the story at you, instead of letting the characters speak for themselves and communicate the story to you. In retrospect, that was an issue I had with volume 7 as well, so maybe it’s one of the new writers’ growing pains as they adjust to fit Miles and Kerry’s style. On the bright side, at this point the VAs are all good enough to cover for that awkwardness through the power of their performances. Elizabeth Maxwell, in particular, does some fantastic work as Winter, and Taylor McNee experly carries Penny through some of the darkest beats of the season. But it’s Jessica Nigiri who deserves a special shout-out for her performance of Cinder; she fucking owns this season. In many ways, Cinder is the protagonist of volume 8, taking on fascinating new dimensions and growing into a truly terrifying antagonist. And Nigiri’s performance sells that journey, in all its complexity, menace, and even sympathy. I used to roll my eyes at her discount FMA Lust impression back in volume 2, and now she’s probably one of the best actors in the bunch. That, folks, is what we call growth.

I could go on for a while, talking about more things I really liked (Nora and Ren’s relationship development, the fantastic cinematography) and more things I had issues with (Poor Weiss has nothing to do all volume, one of the later deaths hits a wrong chord). But at this point, it’s all just nitpicking. Volume 8 has its faults, but the darkness of its narrative and the huge changes it makes to the status quo are still some of the best stuff RWBY’s ever given us. It’s probably my third favorite volume altogether, just behind 3 and 6. Plus, the way it ends makes me unbelievably excited for what happens next. We’re about to enter a very unusual chapter in RWBY’s narrative, and I can’t wait to see how it plays out. So until then, for being such an exciting, monumental climax, I give RWBY Volume 8 a score of:

8/10

Now let’s try and survive this hiatus intact, shall we? We really don’t need another Yorse to-

*discovers that Bloconut exists*

...god have mercy on us all.

See you next time!

[jostenneil]

as much shit as the show naruto gets, which is mostly justified, the show had some gems and interesting points (and it still is a standard even tho some ppl hate to admit it considering Naruto is still being compared to new shows). But I wonder how diff it would be if it was written by a better storyteller like togashi or a shoujo mangaka

I think Naruto is very much a series that over the years has come to garner mass criticism for the wrong things. Like it is without a doubt a terribly flawed series, but not in the way most people tend to posit because their complaints are often driven by misogyny and misery rather than any productive engagement with the text or the ideas it’s trying to posit. The reason that the series has lasted for so long in comparison to so many of its contemporaries is because the framework of the narrative itself is genuinely interesting and something that’s tangibly expanded upon as the plot progresses. The problems in Naruto compound and increase in degree of complexity as the story moves forward because more and more is being revealed about the root of the problems plaguing this war-driven, largely impoverished society. It’s the perfect breeding ground for canon divergence content, because there are so many set-ups and possibilities presented to us either explicitly or implicitly by way of the world naturally expanding.

Where Kishi primarily faltered was in his inability to comprehensively flesh out or resolve almost any of the conflicts or dynamics he created. He was pretty good at establishing the bones of a story (give or take a few worldbuilding errors), but packing on the meat tended to be a big problem for him (and this is also due in part to him sometimes allowing fandom influence to confuse him, so he didn’t fully deliver on ideas he originally had because he thought if people didn’t like them they weren’t worth pursuing). I often joke that Naruto could have turned out better had it been longer, because admittedly, in his defense, I don’t think he had enough time to properly address all of the ideas he created without giving into exhaustion first. That’s something that I think we started to see manifest as he was writing the Fourth War arc, because some of the plot progressions towards the end felt truly contrived and nonsensical, and obviously we’re all aware of how inconclusive the ending itself felt. Naruto as a story itself is a big set-up—if you made a line graph that charted the characters’ emotional well being across the course of the series, I think it’d be reasonable to say they start in the negatives and slowly make their way to the zero line by the end of the war. That should have been a huge turning point for the characters in terms of them feeling more confident in their visions for the future and how they want to work together to tangibly help the villages heal and evolve, but we were robbed of seeing any kind of development along that vein when Kishi decided to just end things with a time-skip chapter. It’s true the Blank Period novels exist, but many of them (not all, I stress, before someone attacks me) are filled with empty meaningless content that did nothing to address the actual problems originally created in Naruto’s world and only dabbled in trivial adventures for the cast as a marketing tactic to keep the franchise thriving. And I get it! Kishi was tired, he still wanted to milk the franchise, and signing off on other authors making up post-canon content was an easy solution. But at the same time, I often wish that the series had just. . . ended at Chapter 699. I firmly believe that a lot of the bad perceptions of the series that exist today are as a result of the lens that content Chapter 700 and onward forces us to look at the series through. The lack of proper closure for certain relationships before they were consummated, the non-existence of any tangible improvement in ninja society, the meaningless adventure arcs (which while very cute for the kids and a great way to keep the franchise alive, still do nothing for the story as a whole)—all of that has contributed to growing skepticism of this series and magnanimity of its faults because the conclusions cast a dark pallor on the potential, which often was not bad at all. Underdeveloped, maybe, but not so unfounded as people often like to claim it is.

And I agree, it would have been really cool to see! I think what’s admirable about a mangaka like Togashi (despite him not being without flaws, either) is that he’s very stubbornly dedicated to his craft and to how he wants to execute it. That’s a kind of grit that I think you absolutely need to have as an author, because sure, being open to criticism is good, but you shouldn’t make yourself so willingly flexible as to allow the story to escape your control. And Togashi obviously also had the advantage of largely being able to publish Hunter x Hunter on his own terms and his own timeline, whereas Naruto was Kishi’s first major series, so he was far more restricted in that aspect. I do wonder how Kishi might have fared had he been published in a monthly magazine, if he’d stuck to his guns about so many of his ideas rather than scrapping them in the face of fandom opinion, or if having a better support system in terms of staff may have allowed him to carry the series on for longer to where he could have properly resolved most of his plot threads. I think a lot of people would agree that while Kishi is certainly a man of many faults, part of what’s also shaped Naruto (and a number of other shounen) for worse is the environment within which WSJ series are produced. It’s not conducive to allowing for the best product to be put out, and at some point I think some authors just resign themselves to that fact rather than try to fight it because they’re tired and they need to make a living. Togashi is really lucky he got to hold the success of Yu Yu Hakusho as leverage so that he could publish Hunter x Hunter as he pleased, and thankfully it turned out to be a really well-fleshed out narrative as a result. (A similar reasoning could apply to many shoujo series as well, obviously, since a majority of the longer series tend to be published in monthly magazines where authors are given ample time to properly develop their plots.)