#for anyone wondering this is my bestie so yes i am going to call her a filthy freak

[lavenderovercast]

if u write keigo x reader feather teasing i’ll love u forever (yes im being horny on main)

SENSITIVE TOUCH

here you go, you filthy freak (and for the rest of you simps, too <33) summary: on an idyllic morning with keigo, you discover just how sensitive his wings are to touch. pairing: keigo takami x gender neutral!reader warnings: 18+ content, !! MINORS DNI !! tags: wing kink, (light) praise kink, sub!keigo, teasing, clothed dry-humping, light begging, fluff, gender neutral!reader, pre-established relationship, keigo being desperate. like rly desperate, damn near disgustingly desperate

It’s an accident the first time that you do it. 

You and Keigo had been seeing each other for a few months now. That meant it was only natural to get more handsy with each other as your relationship progressed, just like it was natural for you to spend nights over in his apartment when the stars would align your schedules. Keigo had always been particular and protective when it came to his feathers and wings, but he made it clear enough to you that he didn’t mind your touch. At least, when you touched the largest of the feathers at the edges of his wings, never confident enough to move your hands any further. 

On one of the lazy mornings that you were rarely allowed to indulge in, did your hands finally roam across his wings. Beside you, Keigo had an arm curled over your torso, his face buried in his pillow. From the slow rise and fall of his body, you had the feeling that he was at least half-awake, likely scrolling through his phone mindlessly with his free hand. Half awake yourself and wanting to wish your partner a good morning, your fingers roamed across his back. 

It was a good morning, one where the pair of you could soak in each other’s company and the sunlight shining through the half-open curtains of Keigo’s balcony door. You were quiet as you ran your hands across the smooth expanse of Keigo’s lower back, slowly lifting upward. Your fingers trace the outline of his spine, grazing against old scars and firm muscles that flex as Keigo carefully adjusts his grasp on you before tilting his head to nuzzle his face into the top of your head. 

His lips press against your temple, and you’re almost certain that such a loving gesture will be followed by the sweetest of good mornings. The type of greeting that comes off of his tongue in a soft rasp full of sleep that drives you insane. Maybe you’ll get lucky, and Keigo’s awake enough to add a flirty comment to the end of his sweet greeting. Instead, Keigo gives the tiniest of gasps, so tiny that you don’t catch the sound, when your fingers reach the feathers at the base of his wings. 

The feathers at the base feel small and soft, especially in comparison to the feathers of his that you have touched. Considering how they feel against your fingertips, you figure that these are his downy feathers. They’re pleasant to the touch, and encourage you to let your hands roam up his wings. You can feel the featherlight bones that connect his wings to his spine, the feathers feeling almost thin and weak before going stronger as your hands move further up his wings. 

Almost as though you were tickling him, the plumes flutter and shift underneath your touch. It makes your lips quirk up into the tiniest of smiles. You notice that the feathers grow in both size and sturdiness the further up his wings that you go, and you find yourself letting your hands roam back down to the base. Keigo melted into your touch, his body nearly slack as you stroked your fingers through his feathers like it was no big deal. 

To him, it is very much a big deal. But he doesn’t want you to stop, because he’s never felt this close to heaven before. The sensation is beyond pleasant, running little shivers and tingles across his spine and skin. His cock is beginning to throb to life, and you haven’t even touched it. The blonde’s face grows warm with a blush as he presses his face into your hair, a low, pleased groan rumbling in his chest. The sound is unexpected and sudden to you, causing you to come back to reality. 

Your hands stop immediately as you snap away from your former observations and admiration of the man. Worry gnaws its way into your gut as you tilt your head up to look at Keigo. You can feel his fingers digging into your oversized shirt, barely grazing against the sensitive flesh of your back. From this angle, Keigo almost looks frustrated, his eyebrows furrowed and jaw clenched. 

“Kei?” You question, your voice filled with worry as you pull your hands away from the blonde. “Are you okay? I didn’t upset you, did I?” One hand slips up to cup his face and make the blonde look down at you, but his fingers slip around your wrist and hold onto you gently before you can. The action makes your breath catch in your throat, your pulse beginning to quicken. You don’t know what’s going on through his head right now. 

You hear Keigo draw in a shaky breath, and then swallow. And that’s when you realize that his breathing has grown ragged in the minute or so that passed since you began. Keigo even feels warmer, like a heater pressed against your body as his gaze flicks down to yours. His pupils are dilated, leaving a thin ring of gold encasing their edges. 

“Please don’t stop,” Keigo breathes out shakily, his voice muffled by your hair, that he still has his face pressed against. He almost seems to be breathing you in. “That… That felt good. Really good.” He continues, the confession taking you by surprise. You furrow your eyebrows together as you slowly piece together why Keigo had been so selective with who could touch his wings. Considering his reaction…

… oh. 

  … OH. 

If the groan that he had let out just moments ago hadn’t given you enough clues as to why he wanted this so badly, then the roll of his hips against your own sure did. You could feel his erection press against your thighs, your legs loosely entangled with his own. The gesture alone is enough to make your stomach do a flip, heat quickly taking the place of your previous anxiety. Swallowing thickly, you carefully slip your hand away from his grasp with a soft nod. 

“Okay, baby,” You coo affectionately. “I’ll give you what you want.” It’s only when both of your arms snake around the man again that he seems content, a breathy sigh that sounds closer to a groan leaving his mouth. Your hands take their original place against his wings, brushing against those divinely soft feathers of his at  the base of his wings. 

Cautiously, perhaps even experimentally, you navigate your hands across those feathers, watching and listening  for Keigo’s reaction. His hips jerk against yours again, a soft motion that makes you dig your teeth into your lip. His feathers flutter under your touch as your hands roam away from the base, and to the underside of his wings. 

The second that your fingers graze against the underside, Keigo knows he’s a goner. He whines and bucks his hips again, tightening his grasp on your shirt. That fire in your belly grows stronger with the action alone, so you shift your weight so you can throw a leg over his hip; semi-straddling the man. Although the pair of you were on your sides, Keigo had no complaints about the awkward positioning. 

“Ohhh…” He gasps in a way that you’ve never heard from him before. His voice has raised in pitch, sharp and whiney as his hips begin to grind against you properly. You feel his head pull away from yours so he can press his face against the pillows, if only a little, as he digs his teeth into his lip. “F—fuck, that feels so good,” 

“Does it?” You question with a playful little smile tugging your lips up. Your question is birthed from genuine curiosity, and the desperate need to satiate your lust and his. You don’t fully understand why his wings would cause this kind of reaction from him, but you do know that you love the outcome so far. “I’ve never seen you so needy before, Kei.” 

“S—Sensitive feathers,” His voice strains into a near squeak as your fingers rub against a particular spot on the underside of his wings that has his eyes rolling back. The roll of his hips against you only grows faster, more desperate. You fucking love it. “Feels like you’re… You’re touching my…” His sentence is cut off by the way he suddenly tilts his head up and groans, the sound deep in his throat. 

But you don’t mind, because you fucking love that you can work this reaction out of the number two hero, out of your partner, out of your lover. Keigo’s head dips back down, allowing you to see the way that his golden eyes are nearly swallowed whole by his pupils. Sweat adorns his brow now, his expression one of frustration, desperation, love and lust as he gazes down at you. You want to give him everything, and yet nothing at all so you can continue to draw out this perfection rolling off of him. 

Your fingers continue to brush against his feathers, idly and gentle. Even though you can see his reaction now, you can hear and feel how good you’re making him feel, you don’t know just how crazy you’re driving him. Keigo’s mind is all but blank, his face flush with both embarrassment and want. It’s scary to be vulnerable like this, and yet he trusts you. He trusts you and he loves you, and fuck, does he just want to slam you into this goddamn bed underneath him before his dick explodes in his boxers. 

And then your fingers stop, and his breath catches with a harsh whine. “Baby?” He questions, confused. “Why… Why’d ya stop?” His hips don’t stop moving against you, though. They might slow, but he can’t give up the friction that would keep him from going fucking crazy. The way that you’re smiling up at him both confuses and excites him in a way that makes his pulse rise. 

“I wanna hear you tell me…” You breathe out, tilting your head up to leave featherlight kisses across his neck and collarbone. Keigo shudders and whines at the contact. He doesn’t think that he can last much longer, not with the expression on your face, or your body against his, or how fucking fantastic he feels now. How badly he wants your fingers on his wings again. “How much you like it, baby. And I wanna hear you beg for me to keep going, if you enjoy it this much.” 

The words roll off his tongue without hesitation. He whines and presses his face back into your hair as though it’s the last time he’s ever going to see you again. “Fuck… Fuck, please, please keep touching my wings,” He gasps, his voice coming out whiney with desperation. “No one’s ever… Touched there, and it… It feels like heaven, Baby. Your fingers are… Fucking divine.” And, if you really wanted him to, he would babble about how wonderful of a Deity you would make, because your touch truly is divine. 

In his eyes, you are fucking perfection. A perfect, merciful deity that presses their fingers back into his wings again, your touch feeling calculated as your fingers massaged through the feathers with ease. Sparks ran up his spine and across his sensitive flesh, making him groan as he continued to buck his hips against you. He knows he’s close, and if he wasn’t so desperately horny right now, he would be embarrassed. But he can barely think, barely breathe right now. 

“That’s my good boy.” You praise, and that’s what tips him over the edge. Keigo gasps as his hips stutter and jerk against you, his cock twitching as he finally reaches his much needed release. He groans your name as his head tilts back again, eyes shutting tightly as thick ropes of cum coat the inside of his boxers. 

When you look up at Keigo, his face is one of sheer ecstasy. It’s an expression that you’ve never truly seen on his face before. His feathers ruffle and shudder underneath your touch as you watch the man, happy to let him buck his hips into you at a near brutal pace before they come to a stutter, and then a stop. There’s a moment of quiet between the pair of you, the room filled with the sound of Keigo panting as he tries to catch his breath. 

“Kei…? Did you just cum?” You question, nearly cringing at how suddenly and boldly the words leave you. Keigo looks embarrassed, his face now a furious shade of red that spreads to his ears as he glances away. And then he furrows his scruffy eyebrows, a shy smile tugging his lips upward. He’s trying to save face for the fact that you just made him cum without even touching his damn dick. Nevermind the mindless humping that he just did against your thighs. 

“Not my fault I’ve got the best partner in the world,” He mumbles affectionately. “Who should probably look into becoming a massage therapist, while they’re at it. Your touch is lovely.” 

You huff and shake your head at his shenanigans, a grin on your lips. “I think I’d prefer to be your massage therapist.” You tease before moving your hands to playfully push at his chest. “Go get cleaned up, Bird Boy. I’ll be here.” 

“I’m getting back at you for this.” Keigo grumbles in response, his tone playful as he nuzzles his head against your head one more time before unwinding himself from your arms. As he slinks off the bed, you watch the avian man head toward his bathroom with a shit-eating grin on your face. 

“Sure. After you clean up.” You re-emphasize, giggling when Keigo turns his head back to you to pout at you from over his shoulder. And then he’s turning on his heel, headed back for his original destination. Although this was your first encounter with the man’s wings like this, you feel very certain that it won’t be the last.

[greg-montgomery]

hi fay! okay so my demented brain thought of dbf!hotch 😭 what if him and reader just stopped seeing each other (he was the one who ended things because he was too old for her or some dumb reason like that lol) & she leaves to go on a date while aaron is at her house hanging out with her dad 🫣🫣🫣 he pretends to be indifferent, but on the inside he gets so damn jealous thinking about her seeing someone else 😩 especially when she looked so pretty in her outfit </3

hiii bestie <333 dbf!hotch is my weakness 😫🫠

this isn't smut but it's still nsfw so minors please don't interact!

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

“Has anyone seen my lipgloss?” you called from upstairs.

“I can see one here on the table, honey,” your dad answered, taking the glittery tube into his hand. “Is it pink?”

“Yes!” you said, and Aaron could hear you running down the stairs to get it.

Your dad leaned in to whisper in his ear, “She has a date.”

Date. The word felt like a knife to his stomach. Had you moved on this quickly? You were getting ready to meet with another man while Aaron hadn’t slept in days, regretting the decision of your breakup.

Maybe he deserved it; he was the idiot who had let you go after all.

“Hotch,” you said, surprised. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

Being addressed as ‘Hotch’ by you felt foreign to him. It was a big change after being called ‘Aaron’, ‘baby’ and ‘my love’.

“Hi, Y/N. It’s good to see you again,” he said, trying to cover up the fact that was completely breathless. Saying that you looked like an angel would be an understatement, seeing you in that pretty dress.

It looked suspiciously similar to the dress you had worn the first time the two of you had slept together. Aaron could recall every detail of that night, your dress included. He remembered the way his hands had traveled under it, finding your panties absolutely soaked; the way you kept shivering when he’d run his tongue over the hickeys on your neck; the way you had moaned his name for the first time when his thumb had finally touched your aching clit.

As you walked closer to get your lipgloss, Aaron stared into your eyes, trying to figure out if the girl he had fallen in love with was still there.

Your dad handed you your lipgloss and you lost no time before putting on some. No other man was supposed to find out how that liplgoss tasted. No one but Aaron was supposed to know it tasted like fresh, sweet strawberries.  

“I should go,” you announced, snapping him out of his thoughts. “I don’t wanna be late.”

Aaron curled his hand into a fist, running his thumb over his knuckles, in an attempt to calm himself down. Everything inside him was screaming at him to get up, grab your arm and steal you away, but he knew he had no business getting involved into your life anymore. You were his best friend’s daughter. You going on a date should have meant nothing to him.

“Is he here already?” your dad wondered.

“Oh he’s not picking me up,” you said, a little embarrassed. “I’ll take the bus.”

That fucker had the chance of going out with a gorgeous girl like you and he didn’t even bother picking you up from your house?

“I’ll drive you,” Aaron offered, before even thinking about it.

“Hotch, you don’t need to-”

“It’s no trouble,” he said. “I was leaving anyway.”

As he got up, your dad covered his hand with his own and spoke softly enough not to be heard by you. “Thank you. I’ll be much calmer knowing you’ll be looking after her on her way there.”

Aaron felt guilty at your dad’s words, thinking of all the things he had done to his precious daughter in that same car he was about to drive you with.

“Of course.”

--

One thing Aaron could always count on you to be was a fucking brat. He could tell by the way you were walking towards his car, or by that cute little pout he was dying to kiss.

“Get in,” he said, sternly, as he opened the door for you, leaving you no room for attitude.

“I am getting in, no need to yell.”

There she is, he thought, fighting back a smile.

Aaron could feel you practically vibrating on your seat. Yes, he was a profiler but he was also a man in love, which meant he knew you like the back of his hand. You were expecting him to make a scene. And even though his jealousy was eating him inside out, he would not reveal himself.

“Where are we going?” he asked.

You told him the name of the restaurant and he started the car.

“Mmm…” he said, smirking. “Nice place, romantic.”

“Very romantic,” you added. “Paul picked it.”

Paul.

Aaron was gonna kill Paul with his bare hands.

“He must have good taste then. You’ll get along great.”

He could see the hurt in your eyes, as you turned to look at him. “You think?”

“Yeah,” he simply said.

Thankfully the silence during the rest of the ride didn’t turn awkward, since the road to your destination wasn’t long.

“We’re here.”

“We’re here,” you repeated, stalling getting out of the car.

“Well…” Aaron said. “Have fun. And stay safe.”

“Thank you.”

The logical next step was you getting out of the car, but that didn’t happen. Instead the two of you stayed inside the car in silence.

You took a look at him with the corner of your eye. “I’m going.” Your tone was borderline threatening.

“Okay.”

Your hand touched the door handle so you could exit the car, but last minute you turned to face him.

“You stubborn old man, I can tell you’re jealous! Why don’t you just admit it?” You slapped his arm softly enough so it wouldn’t hurt.

“Jealous?” he scoffed. “I drove you to your date, sweetheart.”

“Oh please! I can hear you fuming.”

“I’m doing just fine.”

“Just admit it!”

“Y/N.”

“Come on, I caught you staring-”

Aaron grabbed your face with one of his hands, squeezing your cheeks together to make you stop talking. “Shut up,” he said. And you did.

Not that you had any other choice anyway; his mouth on yours, stealing away any other word you had prepared to throw at him.  

He pulled away just enough to look into your eyes. “I’m gonna burn him alive, before he has the chance to even look at you in this dress. Is that enough for you?”

“More than enough.” You smirked and let your lips fall on his once more.

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday my lovely readers :) We’ve reached the episode that rocked me to my very core. Honestly haven’t been this attached to a ship in a very very long time. Years passed without this level of attachment. Bringing out sides of me I didn't think existed. Like doing reviews. But our ship is something special even when they rip our hearts out. I blame Eric and Melissa LOL They are INCREDIBLE in this episode. The both of them. Brought their A game and then some.

This ep legit affected my mood for 3 weeks no joke and utterly destroyed me. I needed extra days to decompress before did my mini. The fandom was so lovely about that too. Love this fandom so much. I still don't know how I got that out tbh lol Also God Bless my bestie D for going through that with me. I got to watch it early that day which normally didn’t get to. Was usually after work. I remember D wanted to stop me but didn’t cause she couldn’t tell me why..

I had to go to a company meeting after and pretend I wasn’t devastated. Be a positive fun leader when inside I was dying. I did a good job my team had no idea lol But damn that was tough. Never been happier for a 3 week break than after this one. We all needed it. Let us begin. And thank you all again for going through this heartbreak with me. Gif count was rough for me so I fit in everything I could and made a ton.

6x06 Secrets and Lies

We start out with Lucy looking as stressed and anxious as we’ve ever seen her. Laying in bed but most definitely is not resting. The brutal toll this situation has taken becoming visible. When Tamara asks how stressed she is from 1-10? Lucy answering 19….Ooof....Could not be more relatable if she tried. When I get this laser focused I too am a nineteen. Her person has been radio silent for days. Her last contact with him was a massive knock out drag out fight.

This is the most time they’ve spent apart since they got together. Like I stated last review other than 6x01 they've scarcely been away from one another. Her UC mission in 5x21 yes but doesn’t really count. They talked every single day. So it’s truly the longest they’ve been apart. No wonder she is at a 19. Poor Lucy. Kills me. Such a wreck without him. Tamara asks if Tim is still ghosting her? Lucy tries to defend their situation. Not well but she sure tries lol

Lucy is barely keeping it together and it shows. I love that we get a shot of her pin-up board from that BTS video. The cupcake poster hehe Hopefully that makes a triumphant return in s7. Tamara doesn’t want to add to her stress... But let's her know she wants to move out. With friends from school. Worst timing ever. It makes sense but the timing is horrendous. Lucy takes so many hits this season. It’s almost worse the second time around somehow.

This time Lucy goes to an actual adult about Tim. Not useless Nolan who was painfully inept for her. Couldn’t fit it in but we see her touch her tattoo when she approaches Angela. *heart clutch* I love Melissa for doing it every time though. So subtle yet impactful. Nice little mini gut punch to start the scene. This was the right call though. If anyone knows Tim like her it’s Angela. Lucy asking if she should alert Grey? Honestly she should've but here we are. That would've been a whole other set of problems though...

Lucy feels like she’s going insane so Angela validating her helps. (at first) You know she finds this behavior of his incredibly alarming. We can see the immediate worry painted across her face. That’s her brother. She loves that man like he’s one. What sucks is that, even though Angela is empathetic, she doesn’t fulfill the needs that Lucy is going for. Which is reassurance and 'Hey let’s do this together.' A united front. Hoping since he is acting off Angela's reply would be 'Let's find out why as a team.' She is protecting her but Lucy is in a heightened emotional state and doesn't see that. Only see's being shut out further from Tim.

Angela plays her cards very close to her chest. Like a good detective would. Sadly Lucy wanted more solace than just ‘Trust him.’ That’s all she’s been doing for days. Poor woman is going out of her damn mind with worry. Even tells Angela as such. The reply she gets back not what she wanted… She wanted her detective gut and friendship. Unfortunately she just gets the former. That short lived validation she got earlier dying off quickly. Lucy is so damn upset when she takes off from the convo. Knowing if she sticks around she’s going to cry on shift. My damn heart. Melissa be killing me. Holy hell.

Angela scaring the crap out of Tim is hilarious. Serves him right tbh. This episode had me so upset and twisted, I couldn’t even enjoy scruffy Tim in a leather jacket. You know something is wrong when I can’t gawk over this man. Angela has zero trouble finding him. Because well it’s her. This is why Lucy enlisted her. She needed the best to help her. Such best friend behavior from the minute she enters his car.

Drinking his soda, calling him out, and asking WTF is going on? I adore her brazen bravery. This is why we love Angela Lopez. Willing to get herself fired for him. That she can take the hit not Lucy. I mean she’s not wrong….Angela could easily live off Wes. She would hate it but she could. It's a more viable option. Says it can be ‘Wine o’clock for her.’ LOL I always enjoy them. More of them in s7 please writers.

Tim doesn’t argue with her reasoning. Starts to explain the whole Ray debacle. Why he can’t just let him go. What he has on him. That he needs to catch him in a new crime. So he has reason to actually arrest him. Once Tim fully explains Angela just replies. ‘I’m in.’ Tim is shocked because of course he is ha Even though she is his best friend he can't believe has his back like this. Oh my broken boy. He double checks and asks if she’s sure? Her reply being the absolute best. ‘Yeah. I got your back boo.’ Hehe Lucky she’s your best friend my love.

We rejoin our bestie duo at the docks. Scoping out Ray on whatever back door deals he’s doing. She is studying Tim hard in this scene. It’s the best. Angela tries to impart some logic to Tim. Saying he’s followed Ray for two days and nothing. Asking how long he’s going to do this? Tim replying the most Tim Bradford reply. ‘As long as it takes.’ Angela is on her game today and doesn’t let him get away with it. Saying he’s just going to walk away from his job? From his relationship with Lucy? All to arrest a guy he hasn’t thought about in over a decade?

Something isn’t adding up for her and she is letting him know it. Angela gives her patented look. Knowing it’s something more. There’s a reason she’s such a good detective. Woman knows how to get to the root of things. Tim has only given her surface info at this point. Definitely not enough to justify this crusade he’s currently on. Let’s him know Lucy would understand why he lied on the report. She would even commend him for it really. We know she would. She love his soft heart so much. Tim agrees and says she would still get in trouble for knowing and not reporting him to IA.

A risk she would gladly take if you’d let her Timothy… It’s here Angela digs a little deeper. He gets a second stare. Tim finding it aggravating and telling her as such. Angela let's her next truth bomb drop. Saying he’s doing it to protect himself as much as her. That there’s something he’s not admitting. Mic drop. Nailed it and Tim knows it but won’t entertain it further. Has him dead to rights and he knows it. We then get the glorious BFF line. Like it or not she is. lmao Has your number just like your girl.

We return to Angela’s for Tim to break our hearts some more. Theme of this episode. One punch after another. Literally no time to breathe unless you check out during the other SL's. Which I did tbh.... They’re alone so she probes Tim further. Knowing that it has to be so much more than a report. He wouldn't let Ray get under his skin like this if it was that shallow. That he's bearing the weight of something on his soul. Tim gives in and begrudgingly explains what happened. That he had been squad leader most of his tour. That he was looking to move up to Sergeant First Class. Only caveat was he couldn’t have any rampant criminality in his unit.

Ray was in the way of this. Tim decided to keep it within the squad if they caught him themselves. He did an unsanctioned mission… Oh Timothy….He explains how Ray called in an air strike on them. Did this the minute he knew he was trapped. Schmuck would rather take them with him. Such a cowards move. The way Tim describes the air strike. Ugh my heart. His eyes filling up as he depicts how the world imploded around them. Eric is a master of emotion here. So expressive. Looks like he is right back there, with the most haunted look on his face. He thought he was going to die. Being so vulnerable I wanna hug him.

He and Mark were lucky though. The Humvee took the hit for them. But Henderson and Coyle were ripped apart….Ugh and now we see what he’s been bearing. That he led his men to their deaths. Their loyalty and faith in him had cost them their lives. All because Tim was in pursuit of a promotion. For personal glory. Explains why he wouldn't praise himself or take awards pre-Lucy. Or advance his career before her either. He didn’t feel he deserved anything good. Because the last time that was important to him, he got two of his men killed. Imma go cry now.... My poor broken boy. The PTSD is so real.

Eric continues to rip my heart out. Telling Angela there was so much blood. I can't imagine seeing that. They for sure thought Ray was KIA. No way he survived. It’s the way he catches his breath, tears in his eyes in this next part. I'm so upset for him. The way he points at himself when he says leadership. The failure and shame he feels for what he did. When we found out it would be his military background I was excited. I knew it would be dark though. Whatever this was. But my god. I wasn’t expecting it to be this. But makes perfect sense why he’s kept it from Lucy. He can’t bring himself to forgive what he did. How could he expect Lucy to? To still look at him like he’s the same man she fell in love with?

The deep rooted shame is evident in this scene. This is quite the weight to keep on your soul. One I’m sure he’s never told anyone. Not even Isabel about I bet. My guess is he buried it once he was state side. Like most do with trauma. Hoping it would never resurface. Sadly not how trauma goes... The way he tells the story it’s for the first time. You can tell. He’s right back there re-living it all. This scene gives us so much insight to Tim as a person. Why he is the way he is as a cop. As a person. It explains why he lost his damn mind in 2x01 over Lucy falsifying the report. Probably brought him right back there.

This is a very revealing scene. It makes sense why he shoulders things alone. It’s punishment for what he did. Doesn’t think anyone could love him enough to shoulder it with him. That breaks my damn heart. This ep makes me so emotional. *sad sigh* Nothing scarier than the person you love seeing you at your worst. With his background of abuse, it makes sense why he’s hidden this from Lucy. He doesn’t feel worthy of the comfort she would bring him. Only shame that he made a mistake. Tim is very self loathing and this is why. Coupled with his childhood it makes so much sense why he is the way he is…This one is emotionally heavy af. All his unchecked trauma barreling through like a bullet train in this ep.

Lucy arrives home and Tamara is there to take care of her. Saying she ordered pizza. I love this. She needed this. Lucy leaves the room to drop off her stuff. We hear a knock at the door and it’s Ray.... Earlier he scanned Tim’s vehicle and got Lucy’s address. Which made me sick to my stomach. I knew him grabbing it was going to end this way. Best way to get to Tim is through his heart. When Tamara opened the door and it was him..The hairs at the back of my neck stood up. Tamara calls out for Lucy. She emerges and goes into protect mode right away. Eyes on Tamara first but also hating her gun is locked up.

Heart was in my damn throat the entire time. Lucy handles herself like the bad ass we’ve all come to know and love. Commend her for keeping herself composed when she was terrified. I also adore her not putting up with any of his scare tactic BS. Her line about the only call she’s gonna make is for the ambulance. Like hot damn Lucy. Way to protect Tamara and yourself. It's true she could take his scrawny ass easily. I long to be the confident BAMF she is.

Doesn't hurt she’s still got the rage burning from being in the dark. So not only is her life being threatened now Tamara's is. This is Lucy's FINAL straw. It’s now bled over in the worst way. Not only that but she still has no idea what’s going on. We can see that mama bear come out loud and proud. It’s one thing for her to be involved it’s a whole other thing with Tamara dragged in. This is what pushes her to reach out To Tim. To cut his crap. Whatever this is has now endangered an innocent life. One she loves fiercely and will die to protect.

Lucy RAGE calls Tim and unleashes hell. As she should… Demanding to know where his ass is. Tim knowing he can’t hold her back any longer. So he lets her know. I mean Lucy is million percent done with this crap now. With his behavior, him cutting her out, all of it. So very very done. Rightfully so. I do love him answering ‘Hey, what’s wrong?’ Knowing she wouldn’t be calling unless something was. He for sure would’ve dropped it all to go to her.

But she was way too pissed to see that fact. She shows up like a bat out of hell. Biting his head off immediately saying 'Does she look ok?' No….she does not. Forever love Angela escorting Tamara out of the room. Mom and dad about to have it out so let's go. The concern all over his face kills me though. This was the last thing he wanted to happen. The very thing he was striving for by shutting her out backfired horribly. Not only did he endanger her but Tamara too.

It was Lucy’s final straw and she is showing it. These were the types of fights that are needed though. As much as this hurts she is fighting him to save them. Because he is worth the bother and effort. Just like he stated in 5x08. Asking why her and Chris never fight?They’re fighting against each other to protect one another it kills me. Also you know your ship has chemistry when even their fights are lightning in a bottle goodness. Just as amazing as their happy stuff. I can't speak enough to their fantastic on-screen chemistry. Even though this fight is fiery and hurts to watch it's hurts so good to watch them hash it out.

Tim explains who Ray is and Lucy don’t give a single fuck. It’s not who he is that has her raging. It’s him cutting her out that is. I love the movements Melissa does in this scene. I know she had an interview about her being mad. Thinking she was awkward. It wasn't at all. Was so real. I think she nailed it. Her body language is on point. How she stamps her foot. Shouting how who Ray is doesn’t explain why he iced her out. At all. She is VIBRATING with anger. Yelling at Tim to stop protecting her. Which he won't. That is like asking him to stop breathing tbh. He would rather die than not protect her. Ugh his reply of ‘ I can’t. I won’t.’ They’re at odds with the deepest part of their souls. Of who they are.

Tim will never stop protecting her. Just as she will never stop trying to help him. Been in her DNA from the jump. For him to not let her is just as painful as Tim not protecting her. *sigh* This is where their intense need to protect each other backfires so badly. Sounds romantic and sometimes it is. But in these type of moments, it shows the cracks in their already fractured communication. It real though. Communicating is HARD. Especially when you both come from abusive homes where that wasn't taught. If you aren't taught healthy communication you're just not going to do it. Simple as that. It's like a muscle that never gets used. Then when it does it feels so unnatural and painful.

These two are going to be the death of me. Hell they already have been. They have so much to work on in s7. It’s insane. I'm excited for it though. Lucy then brings up how Lopez was read in but not her. She is HIS PERSON. If anyone should be read in it’s her. Consequences be damned. Yeah Angela does have less to lose but that is NOT the point. Tim is clearly not getting that fact. I adore Lucy grabbing his hands during the end of the scene. Mirroring back she 'Can’t and won’t' not help him. Telling him she is over being to good girlfriend. He’s going to let her in NOW. Oooh lord. You Tell 'em Luce.

Their OP to foil Ray goes off without a hitch. Tim tells him it’s over. That there isn’t an air stroke to save him this time. Ray tells Tim ‘I am the air strike. I’m about to blow up your whole life.’ *grumble* It’s so true on many many levels. Watching Tim be so stoic in his IA investigation kills me. Wish could've fit this in. Eric be out here again making me emotional af two eps in a row. You can see the tears in his eyes but the rest of him is controlled. That military background of his coming in clutch.

it pains me to watch him lie and have it destroy him. I remember I saw people saying how could he lie? That’s not like him. Um no. This is very like Tim. Not to lie but to protect those he loves. If lying protects Lucy and Lopez that’s what he’s going to do. He has a history of being a little gray for those he loves. Isabel is a good example of that. All that went down with Detective Murphy was similar to this. ‘Some things matter more.’ Once again rings true with him. Tim is believed over Ray. Because even if Tim doesn’t want to believe this he is the better man.

Better reputation and Percy closes the investigation. Have missed him. But whoever he’s around it’s not good. Love the actor though. What happens after is rough to say the least. Never seen Grey as disappointed in Tim as he is here. Reprimanding him and having to report him to Pine SUCKS. R.I.P. Metro Tim. I loved you so…It’s killing Tim to have Grey look at him this way. Deeply respects him and to be scolded by him cuts him. Just dismisses Tim without further comment or fight….

God almighty the song playing in the background. I don’t even remember it. I only watched this scene once. I think I blacked out a lot in this moment. The immense shock rocked my system. Suffice to say it’s beautiful. The piano, the haunting oohs and lyrics are the perfect backdrop to this devastating scene. I felt this building anxiety watching this scene. Waiting for the hammer to drop. When she pulled him into her arms *phew* It was first breath I had taken in nearly two episodes. These eps had me on the razor's edge of sanity. I love her waiting outside for him and instantly pulling him into her arms. Just like Tim did for her in 5x22. I'm fine.....Imma cry as I write this. Horse heaven playing in my ears right now. Adding to my emotional state. These two getting me all weepy.

I’ll be honest I thought if a break up was coming, it was coming from Lucy the first time. Which is why this devastated me like it did. Having the full season in hand now. Makes total sense it’s Tim. At the time I thought would be her. But that wouldn’t be like Lucy at all. After everything he put her through. The secrets, the lies and shutting her out. She had every damn right. But she loves this man unconditionally. So unconditionally. Everything Lucy does in this scene is a reflection of that unconditional love. There to pick up his broken pieces despite all of that went down. Look at her in those gifs above.

Especially that second one. First time she took a breath too. So grateful to be here for him in this moment. I truly thought ‘Oh. Maybe we’re ok... She’s hugging him.’ Encasing him in her arms. Trying to absorb all of his hurt. Supporting him the way he sought out days previous. Gently cradling him against her. It's the tender way she nestled her fingers at the back of his head that gets me. Tapping into some ship crack for me there. *phew* Honestly thought with her being there for him they would make it out unscathed. I truly did. The chemistry from this hug is unreal btw. Tim doesn’t feel worthy in the least. The way he slumps against her. Doesn’t really hug her back like normal. Can't see Lucy is so willing to absorb his hurt and pain. To love him through this. This hug is beautifully tragic.

Lucy releases him and he looks as broken as I’ve ever seen him. 4x09 x 1000 tbh. He shirks away from her. Hands in his pocket. So disgusted and ashamed with himself. Something l've learned in Pilates is posture and the importance of it. When you stand tall and at full height. You are confident and sure of yourself. When you are slumped it presents a lack of confidence, shame, and feeling unworthy. His posture is screaming that. Like he feels he shouldn’t even be in her presence right now. He crushes me with how he says he lied about everything.

Then sarcastically almost sardonically follows it up with ‘But hey it saved my job….’ The amount of disdain in his voice is gut wrenching. The whole reason he was in this Ray mess was to further himself. To keep his career intact. He saw a promotion and went for it at all costs. What he just did lying to IA was to be that same man again. (In his mind) To put his career first over what’s right. Risked people's lives again as well. People he loves. Sickens him ten years later he’s doing the same thing all over again. Even though it's so different this time. There is still nobility in it with saving Lucy and Lopez. But this man can't see that right now. Doesn't see any good in this situation or himself.

Lucy does her best to sympathize. Telling him it was an impossible situation. If it had been her she would’ve done the same thing. Thing is if it had been for Tim yes she would’ve without question. But he can’t see the forest for the trees atm. He is drowning absolutely drowning in his self-loathing. Tim continues on with the painful self flogging. Telling her she would’ve never been in his position. Putting her on a pedestal while he makes himself very very small. That OTP line from 6x03 from him 'You could never disappoint me.' That is true. The problem is he doesn't realize he could never disappoint her either. Tragically Tim doesn't view it that way. Only sees he's not worthy.

Lucy once again tries to pick up his pieces. Telling him he thought he could handle it. He was wrong but made it right. It’s like she can sense him pulling away in this moment. Doing her best to calm his fears about himself. Trying to do what she’s always done in years past best. Build him up. Soothe him. Sadly she isn’t gaining an inch of ground with him. He is stuck in how he feels and there is no budging him. Tim is morose saying he wishes it was that easy….We can see the incredible amount hurt on his face. Telling her he just lied to two men he deeply respects. He is coming undone rapidly and Lucy can see it. I adore her putting her hands on him. Trying to right his ship.

Ground him to her in this moment. Because once again it's something she’s done so well in the past. Tim is spiraling so hard he can’t see her gesture for what it is. Tells her he just betrayed everything he thought was right about himself. *heart clutch* Lucy can’t stand him talking down about himself. Tries to interrupt but Tim won’t allow it. Lucy graciously nods and lets him get it out. Especially when he tells her how hard this is for him. She is so wonderfully understanding it makes my heart ache. Tim feels like he is a bad guy. Thought he had gotten past this and was sucked back in so easily. Truly believed he had become a better person since then. (He has) Ray was right he was gonna blow up his entire life.

He just exposed Tim for the fraud he already felt he was. Bringing his greatest sin to light. Bringing up feelings of not being deserving. Of inadequacy. His abuse background pulling into the station and not leaving. Tim is back to a place of massive self loathing. Saying he has been lying to himself for years. Thinking he’s gotten better when he hasn’t. To him he reverted back to the man he thought he left behind. Not only that he put his person. The woman he loves at risk to cover up his past. To cover up his shame. It’s hitting him like a freight train of terrible realization. Continuing on to say he can’t go back to the way it was. I was hopeful when he said ‘Right now.’ Then followed it up with maybe never….

Lucy had been nodding along. Being so wonderfully empathetic and understanding. She was with him till he said that. Then she is hit with her own terrible realization. He’s leaving her. She is losing him. In the same parking lot where he told her to take a risk. Where she expressed her concern over losing him if they did. Worried about losing the most important relationship in her life due that risk. The same spot where he told her 'Unless it is.' A giant stab to our collective shipper hearts.

It's why Lucy is in a state of utter shock. As we all were tbh. She shakily asks him if he’s breaking up with her? When he said I’m sorry. I remember having to pause. Freak out and cry. I recall chanting ‘No no no….’ To myself repeatedly. My dog was very alarmed. Because I was distraught af. I couldn't believe this was really happening. My happy place was being decimated before my eyes.

Look at the range of emotions on Tim's face before he delivers that line though. Eric you why you doing this to me? They blow this scene out the damn water. it's so visceral. and raw. He looks like he's about to have a breakdown before he delivers that line. Battling with himself about it. There's a desperate need to want to stay with her. But his self doubt and hatred wins out knowing he isn't deserving. Do I think he came out thinking he was going to do this? A little. I think the more he spoke about it and himself the decision was made. He wasn't going to be be talked off this ledge.

The way Lucy replies after this rips my heart out. This break up feels like death by a thousand paper cuts. Months later and this hurts just as much as the first time. Lucy doesn't hold back in the least. Telling Tim he doesn't get to do that. Her line about using it as an excuse is so spot on. This Ray situation has hit VERY close to home for Tim. An insanely sensitive subject for him. It's rubbed against a wound that never really healed properly. Just was buried in the back of his mind.

He doesn’t have the capacity or emotional maturity to handle it. So he ejects out as a coping mechanism. Lucy calls his ass right away for it. It’s so painful to her that he is doing this excuse. Because it feels like a crappy cheat to them. To her. It's truly a cop out and our girl deserves better than this. Especially after all they’ve been through together. All that rapport and trust they’ve built over the years. It’s an insult to who they are as a couple and the relationship they’ve developed. Sadly that all vanishes in this moment. It’s stunning Lucy and straight murdering my feels.

Her ‘That's not okay.’ is a dagger to my shipper heart. The way she continues to repeat herself cause she's in shock. Ugh.This goes down as one of the most painful breakups I've had to go through. Lucy is so upset he is going this route. Melissa had a great interview (quite a few actually.) About the lie line and using it as an excuse for Tim. She noted Lucy is upset cause how he’s acting isn’t them. That they get to have these conversations. Not only have them but recover and grow from them. It’s what she expecting from him in this moment. It's what she expected from his 5x08 Mantra going into this relationship.

She is telling him I’ve got your back. I’ve got you. What are you doing? What happened to ‘Unless it is?’ Lucy continues to vehemently disagree with him. As she should. The worst part is Tim says ‘I know.’ Like he knows what he’s doing is wrong. Knows to eject after everything isn’t ok. Yet he can’t stop himself. He is not emotionally mature enough to handle this conversation properly. Also too blinded by his own self-hatred to see the unconditional love she is showing for him in this moment. God this is painful.

Tim then comes in with the breakup line of ‘You’re an incredible person.' Lucy can’t believe this shit . She really can’t. That Tim is is doing this to her. To them. Even though Tim is being genuine with his statement. You can hear it in his voice. Doesn't do anything to soothe the wounds he's causing. Once again Melissa crushing it with the upset body language. The mannerisms are so on point. Maybe it's because I'm Italian and I use my hands when I'm upset. I do exactly what she's doing. Why I appreciate it so much. It's so real.

It's a cop out what he is doing. 'It’s not you it’s me' schtick. We see the anger building in Lucy. She can't even look at him in the second gif. For him to toss away what they have is painful enough. To do it based off a cliched excuse is destroying Lucy. Thinking what they had was worth so much more than this. Thought they worth the nasty fights. No way she knows fully what happened or she would figure out why he's really doing this. That’s what makes the rest of Lucy's replies so god damn tragic. She is trying to hold onto him for dear life. But is only being pushed away in return...

Tim continues to push forward with this breakup. Letting her know she deserves better than him. It's SO much deeper than that but it's the only way he can convey it right now. Her ‘Oh my god…’ This is her worst nightmare. Her biggest fear come to life. This is why she hesitated starting this relationship. Why she was so afraid of risking her most important relationship. It's unfolding before her eyes and she can’t stop it.

Like a bad dream she can't seem to wake up from. We all wish we could...Tim has never felt worthy of Lucy’s love, light or praise. This reaction just proves that. It's been building for a long time and this is the final result of it. It’s not logical but a trauma brain rarely is. The amount of emotional and physical abuses he endured growing up left it's mark. Has him truly convinced Lucy could never love him knowing what he did. Tim feels he does not deserve her comfort, support or love.

Punishing himself and denying what he need most because he feels unworthy. Thinks he has made a mistake so grave there is no coming back for him. No way she could love him if she knew. So he like Angela stated earlier Tim is protecting himself. Pains me to watch. Now as I've said before it's not to excuse but to explain his side of it. I understand why he's doing it even if it's fucked up.

He doesn't give Lucy much more than she deserves better. Tells her it's why he's walking away. This man feels so undeserving of the love she has to give. In his mind he thinks he’s doing her a kindness. To separate herself from such a shameful and broken man. That she could do better than him. To Tim he made the biggest sin and can’t live with himself about it. He can't envision a world where Lucy would love him through it. The tragedy is she already was in this scene.

Lucy isn’t hearing any of it. Full on panic spiral that I shared in this moment. Her ‘Don’t do this. Why are you doing this?’ Is the most soul crushing part. She can feel him slipping through her hands. Like sand rushing through her fingertips. She can’t hold onto a grain of him. Can only stand there as he gives up on them. His face in the third gif...Knife to my soul. *screams into a pillow* It's killing him to walk away from her. Eric and his expressive eyes has me bawling. The quiver in his bottom lip as well. Gah it hurts to watch them both in so much pain. It’s the way she pulls away with one hand, but is clutching his other hand for dear life, that really gets me in that last gif.

Asking him once again why are you doing this? I shared that sentiment in this moment.. Tim stands firm in his decision to end them and rip all of our hearts out. Eric had a great quote about how Tim handed this whole thing. ‘He is impulsive and he reacts instead of thinking things through. And it can come out as a bit too strong.’ He feels he is a burden Lucy therefore he is removing himself. Not thinking about the damage it’s going to do to her. The immense regret he’s going to feel when he regulates a bit more.

Something therapy has taught me is we are ruled by our nervous system. Anxiety, stress, fear etc Tim’s was haywire in this moment. All of them going off at once. Not thinking clearly. Acting out of fight or flight. He took the flight option unfortunately. The tragic way he grabs her head and gives her the saddest head kiss. Shattering all of our hearts in the process. It’s the devastated look on his face when he strokes her hair and takes off. One final gut punch from him. It's like he’s leaving behind his greatest treasure and can’t bear to be around it any longer. Lucy is clutching to him until he departs. *snifffle*

The man actually thinks she is better off without him. Truly believes that. Even if Lucy had succeeded it keeping Tim, this would've reared it’s ugly head again down the road. This breakup ruined my friggin life. I kid you not. They were my happy place. My consistent happy place. And now that was gone. It affected my mental health a little too not gonna lie. I think I was in mourning for three weeks. Honestly I still am. Low key will be till they're fixed. Those three weeks were unbearable. But also needed. Thank you again to my bestie D for being my mourning partner through out that. Kept me sane.

That being said I think this will push them in the best direction. A healthier and stronger one. I truly believe that. I recently broke up with a friend who I had been friends with for ten years. It was very hard on me but time. Boundaries were being pushed and it wasn't healthy anymore. My therapist pointed me to a wonderful book called ‘Goodbyes and good boundaries. ’ While It helped heal my heart it also has really good pieces in it. Stuff made me think of this very ep tbh. Sure that wasn't her goal LOL But my brain is always in a Chenford state of mind in some way or another.

First one that made me think of them. ‘Health cannot bond to unhealth.’ As much as it wasn’t fair for Lucy. And god it wasn’t after everything else this season. Tim was in such a radioactive state staying with her wouldn’t have worked anyway. He was radiating turmoil. Lucy can do a lot for him but not this. He NEEDED therapy so much. There are things you learn in there that only your therapist can help you with. He was unhealth and Lucy was trying to keep her empathetic healthy self to him. It was never going to work. Not unless Tim put in some work. Which he couldn't at this point in time.

“Relationship often die not because of conversations never had but rather conversations needed but never had.” Another good one made me think of them. Tim was not ready in the least for the adult conversation required of him in this moment. Or their entire relationship really. They both danced around the issues a lot. 6x02 closest we got. Even then it was one sided. Thus them dying in this moment. Despite Lucy’s damndest to keep them afloat. Remind him of what they’re fighting for. Of why they started this. This breakup was painful af. Despite how this wrecked my world it’s going to be good for them in the long run.

I will say Lucy in that last gif was all of us in that moment. It was a soul crushing moment that decimated this fandom. Still blows my mind Melissa and Eric were surprised just how insanely devastated we were. Why they did those lovely posts during the three weeks. To thank us and to hold on. Growth is coming. They’re going to be even better after this. Doesn’t mean this didn’t hurt like a SOB and won’t long after they reunite. Curse you Eric and Melissa. You are incredible to evoke such emotions out of us all.

Thank you for going through this with me again. It wasn’t easy but they always worth it. Appreciate any and all comments, likes or reblogs I get. I shall see you all in 6x07 :)

Side notes non chenford

Balian doing the creepy bed thing again. Just have to note that.

Also can’t believe they didn’t end the ep with their breakup. There is a whole minute or so of I don’t give a shit after that scene. I was so distraught they could’ve had Nolan walk into a wall and I wouldn't have noticed.

[softguarnere]

HEY BABY GIRL!!!!

It's your girl, your sweet cheese, your good time gal (someone please shut me up omfg). Now...you know i am a Joe Toye lover, and if you've seen me recently...he is the only man on my mind. I was wondering if you might indulge me a little with a Joe Toye x reader where they're besties since young and both end up being paratroopers together but then something happens and he thinks he's lost her but she's actually fine and maybe like fluffy reunion...idk tbh i'd take anything you write and eat it up so do whatever. Love youuuuu xx

Seven

Joe Toye x reader

A/N: OMG BELLA I MISSED YOU!!!! 💖 WELCOME BACK BABE! And of course we have a fic with a T Swift reference for you hehehe (This is written for the fictional depictions from the show - no disrespect to the real life veterans!) Thanks so much for the request, and I hope you like this 💕 Warnings: mentions of war, death

You would kill him if you knew where he was right now. And yet, here he is. Trying to reassure and comfort your mother while sipping coffee from her finest set of teacups. The same teacups, he’s now realizing, that you used to serve him water in as children, calling it tea while the two of you played house, discussing the workplace as if you had any idea what went on there, while the adults around you struggled through the lack of those very places during the thirties. It could just be a coincidence, but after spending most of his life around her, Joe Toye would like to think that he knows your mother better than that.

“And you know how hardheaded she is,” your mother is ranting, cutting a fresh slice of poundcake and placing it on Joe’s plate. “She isn’t going to listen to me. Or anyone for that matter, now that her mind is made up.”

Oh, Joe knows exactly how hardheaded you are. In no small part thanks to the times that he accidentally clobbered that very head during neighborhood football games.

“(Y/N) feels good about this, Mrs. (Y/L/N),” Joe says, unsure of what he’s supposed to say during your mother’s hour of need. She’s right, after all – your mind has been made up, and it will not be changed.

“But do you?” Your mother fixes him with a hard gaze, raised brow and all.

You were with Joe when he went to enlist. He had watched your eyes sparkle when they fell onto the sign stating that women should inquire within about an exciting new opportunity that would allow them to serve their country like never before. And he had been by your side when you both left the building, both holding papers and smiling at the thought that you would be becoming paratroopers – together.

“Yes. (Y/N) is strong. She’ll be good in – “

“Joesph,” your mother interrupts. The façade finally falls as she collapses into the chair across the table from him, head in her hands. “She’s my baby! What if something – oh, God forbid! – happens to her? I couldn’t live with myself.”

Joe is by her side in an instant. When he announced that he was joining the Airborne, everyone had clapped him on the back and congratulated him. You have not had the same experience. While everyone keeps assuring Joe that he’ll do great things, the same people have been cautioning you to be careful. Some have even warned you that you should just give up now. And it’s all only served to strengthen your determination, with every underestimation making you more sure that this is what needs to be done.

All that is to say, Joe has no clue what to say to your mother. She needs to be comforted. But he’s out of his depth.

“I’ll watch out for her,” he finally manages.

Beneath the comforting hand that Joe has placed on her shoulder, your mother freezes. Watery eyes gaze up at him. “You – you will?”

“Of course.” The two of you have grown up together. You’ve always been friends. Why would he stop looking out for you now?

Your mother throws her arms around his neck, wrapping him up in a tight hug. “Oh, thank you!”

Joe is struggling to come up with something more to say when the sound of the front door opening and shutting saves him. Your footsteps echo through the front of the house as you call out in greeting.

“Ma! I’m home!” Stepping into the kitchen, you cross your arms, leaning onto the doorframe as you let out a loud sigh. “Wow, you would almost think that Joe is the child that you’re sending off to war instead of me.” You smile, and anyone could see how much you love your mother.

She wipes her teary eyes and pats Joe’s arm as he stands, returning to his seat. “I’m going to miss having someone around who doesn’t get into trouble all the time,” she teases as she cuts a slice of poundcake for you.

Something about the change of topic tells Joe that she would rather not have you find out about their conversation. His watching over you can be their little secret. And a job that he’ll readily accept.

After all, he tells himself as he watches you laugh at something your mother says. You would do the same for him.

--

The adrenaline from taking Brécourt Manor still hasn’t worn off yet. Joe is laughing at something that Guarnere said as they head back down the road. Something about this moment makes him feel invincible. This is why he chose to become a paratrooper, he realizes.

More men and women have congregated in the town since he’s been gone. Finally glancing at his watch reveals that he’s been gone most of the day. Wow, really? It didn’t feel like the assault took that long at all. At least it kept him busy, instead of sitting around here, waiting.

Joe scans the crowd, hoping to catch sight of you. When he doesn’t immediately spot you, he stops one of the other female paratroopers as she passes.

“Hey, Lilian. You seen (Y/N) around?”

Lilian pauses, her pretty green eyes widening slightly. “Oh. No.” She bites her lip, holding back something more.

“What is it?” Joe presses.

Her hesitation is not a good sign. Then she blurts out, “No one has seen her since the jump.”

“You mean – “

“She was supposed to be in my drop zone – but she wasn’t.”

The reality of it all sets in. (Y/N) didn’t reach the drop zone. Did she even make it out of the plane? God, he promised your mother that he would look out for you. Yet, here he is, with no clue where you might be.

He may have only just reached Europe, but he’s already failed his mission.

--

The dust is settling over Carentan when the incongruous cheer and subsequent peel of laughter hits Joe’s ears. Somewhere off in the distance, someone is celebrating. Meanwhile, he’s guarding Doc Roe as the medic moves along the streets, inspecting the bodies strewn over them to see if there’s anybody still alive that he can help.

“Thanks for doing this,” Roe says as he stands once more, moving on to another body.

“Hmm?” Joe snaps his attention back to the moment at hand. “Oh, no problem.”

Except there is a problem. He’s trying to catch a glimpse of every face as Doc Roe checks the bodies. He tries to make out names on dog tags, dreading that one of them might belong to you. He couldn’t stand it if he found you here, like this. What would he tell your mother? How would he ever erase that awful image from his mind? Of the little girl that he once played house with, lying motionless on these cold streets? It’s no better to imagine you going down in a plane doing a fiery corkscrew as it nosedives to the unforgiving soil of a foreign land. But at least he didn’t have to see that.

The terrible job done, he follows Roe back to the rest of the company. Despite everything that just happened, a few smiles can be expected, along with congratulatory words. But this is more than that.

A small group of men mill about, talking, smiling, as they watch a smaller group of the female paratroopers huddled together in a group, all talking loudly and looking excited. From the corner of his eye, he can see Doc Roe glance at him, but before the medic can ask what’s going on, the crowd parts and Joe freezes.

There, in the middle of it all, is you.

“(Y/N)?” It comes out louder than he means for it to, and his feet are already carrying him, double time, in your direction before he realizes what he’s doing.

You look up, your eyes widening. “Joe!” You launch yourself at him, throwing your arms around his neck and pulling him in close.

Something rushes through Joe’s chest like a flash of lightning, too many feelings at once. There’s shock, relief, and something that he can’t quite name. Not caring about getting written up for fraternizing, Joe hugs you back, holding you close, lest you slip away from him again.

“Jesus Christ. I thought I lost you,” he says into your hair.

“I’m fine, as usual. Can’t believe you would doubt me like that.” Your voice is light, teasing, but your grip on him tightens. The usual confident swagger doesn’t leave your voice, but you admit in a quieter voice, “I, uh – I missed my drop zone. Had a hell of a time trying to find the rest of the company. But here I am!”

When the embrace ends, Joe still isn’t ready to let go. He leaves his hands on your shoulders, studying you. And you, for your part, hold onto his webbing. “I was just worried about you, is all.”

You nod. “I was worried about you, too. I – “

“Easy Company!” A booming voice interrupts. “We’re moving out!”

Quickly, while everyone is distracted, you raise yourself up on your tiptoes and press a kiss to his cheek. Heat rushes to Joe’s cheeks. He feels his eyes widen. You just smile at him, casual as can be.

“We’ve been friends since we were seven. You can’t get rid of me that easily, Joseph.” Then, you rejoin your friends, leaving him to replay the scene over and over in his mind.

He turns to watch you go, unable to move his feet from where they suddenly appear to be stuck to the ground. He’s held in place by the weight of his realization – the emotion that he couldn’t name was love, for you.

[back2bluesidex]

I'm Foive!

Anyways

Okay I have 2 songs

These two. Make it angsty but give it a a happy ending.

Um.... Member 🤔...... Jimin 🤷🏻‍♀️ ✨✨

Teardrops - JHS

Pairing: Music producer!Hoseok X Assistant!Reader

Theme: Angst, unrequited love au, friends and collogues to could be lovers.

Song: Teardrops on My Guitar

Word count: 1431

Warnings: Allusions to Hoseok being a fuckboy, an emotional confession, indirect rejection, open ending.

Minors and Karens Are Not Allowed in this Blog!!

A/N: Finally! Finally it's here. I have talked to bestie @phenomenalgirl9 and changed the member to Hoseok because why not. Idk how is it, since the song is not really something I choose to hear. Hope you like it tho, my girl.

“Really? You asked her out?” your eyes go wide with Hoseok’s admission. 

“Yes. What’s with the expression, Y/N?” He chuckles, brushing off the evident displeasure on your face. 

“U-uh not-nothing. You are strictly ‘no string attached’ type of guy. So.. I am just surprised.” you look down on your lap. 

“I know right? But..” Hoseok looks away from you. His eyes wander in the empty space of the studio as if he is trying to picture her there. 

“She’s irresistible. She’s beautiful, she’s funny, her knowledge of music is better than anyone I have ever worked with. And her cooking.. Umm.. delicious. But above everything. She understands me, she matches my vibe completely and I- I love spending time with her, I just love talking to her about anything and everything.” he pauses for a bit and then continues to break your heart, “I like her, Y/N. I really do.” 

You stare at him and wonder how he could never see that he does all of those things with you too.

Yeah, you probably are not as beautiful as the woman in question but you make Hoseok laugh more than anyone else. You have been assisting him for the past two years because your knowledge of music certainly pays off. You are a decent cook and you never shy away from bringing new recipes that you experiment, which he enjoys wholeheartedly. And about talking.. Hoseok probably never counted how many late nights you have spent with him over phone calls, empty beer cans on the terrace, half-eaten cups of ramyeon in his studio, cold and stale fried chicken at his house, talking about everything starting from overbearing loneliness to the smell of fresh paint.

And still.. He doesn’t see you, even when you are always right beside him, always within his reach. Is it because you never climbed his bed? Is it because he never thought you were eligible enough for that?

Tears start forming in your eyes and unlike other times, you can’t blink it away. Your eyes are so heavy that it’s hard for you to even move your eyelids freely. And as a result, teardrops start falling on your jeans. The droplets get soaked in the material, providing them a darker shade than their original tone. 

It takes Hoseok a few minutes to make out that you are crying. And when he does, he starts panicking. 

“Y/N.. are you? Oh my god. You are crying.” Hoseok reaches for face. He cups your cheek so lightly as if you will be bruised if he puts too much pressure into it.

You move your face away from his grasp. Angrily wiping your tears away with the sleeve of your sweat shirt, you voice through your choked throat, “Yes, I am crying. But don’t ask me why. I might not be able to hide it anymore.” 

Partially being hurt as you moved your face away from his thouch and partially being confused about your behavior, Hoseok decides to pull the truth out of your lungs. 

“What? What are you hiding?” he asks carefully. 

A sarcastic laugh bubbles in your throat unwillingly, “Really? You are really asking me that?”  

“Y/N, I don’t understand anything. Please tell me what’s wrong. Why did you start crying as soon as I said I like…” Hoseok’s voice disappears in the thick air when realization hits him. 

“No way. No! Don’t tell me you-” 

“Yes. I am in love with you.” you finish for him. 

“But I know you have never looked at me as someone to be more than just a friend and an assistant. No matter how hurt I get seeing you with different girls every night, I sucked it all up, put a smile on my face and continued pretending that it didn’t matter.” you avert your eyes from him and stare at the ceiling, “but.. I can’t anymore. Now that you finally found someone to keep you company for more than just a night, I might as well move on and start afresh.” 

Hoseok’s heart hammers in his chest but he doesn’t know why. He knows you are right. He has never had any thought about what you and he could be. You are so precious to him that he protected you by drawing clear lines of boundaries. And Hoseok doesn’t like crossing boundaries, neither does he like when people cross them. But with you… he doesn’t know. He is not angry with you but with himself for unknowingly hurting you this bad. 

Keeping his eyes on your profile, he starts to speak, “I am so-” 

“Don’t say sorry. It’s not your fault that you don’t feel the same for me.” you cut him off. Even though your heart is shattered, you don’t want Hoseok to blame himself. “Can I ask for a favor tho?” you sigh. 

“Sure. Tell me what can I do?” Hoseok tries to reach for your hands but you move them away to wipe your face.  

"Can I take two weeks off? I need some time to calm myself down. We don't have much workload these days. So…" you mumble through your sniffles. 

"Y-Yes. Sure. You have a lot of piled up vacations anyway." Hoseok doesn't like the sound of it. What if you never come back? What if you leave this job? How will he even survive without his most competent assistant slash one of the closest friends? 

But he will let you go if that's what heals you. If that's what you want. That's that. 

--

The guilt of hurting you has been eating him alive. But what's worse is your absence in his life.

No one pesters him for his meals anymore, no one seems to know how exactly he likes his coffee, no one knows which beat would work the best in the background, no one picks up his calls in the middle of the night, no one covers him with a blanket when he falls asleep in the studio.  

All of a sudden, he is empty. 

His late night fucking sessions are only a temporary diversion now. He hasn't seen the woman he seemingly likes after the conversation he had with you that day. 

He tried calling you and texting you but each time he swiped his fingers through the keyboard, your tear stained face flashed in front of his eyes and he stopped. 

Suddenly Hoseok realizes, it's you who is more important. But the question is.. what does he actually feel for you? 

He doesn't know the answer but maybe he will find it out when you come back, maybe he will understand what it is when he gets to have a heart to heart conversation with you over some beer or coffee. Maybe? 

But, Hoseok's hopes die and fears take the shape of reality when after two weeks your resignation mail comes instead of you. 

– 

You cried and cried and mulled over what to do for the entire first week. 

At the beginning of the second week, you went on a tinder frenzy. 

On the second day of the second week, you ended up on your tinder date's bed. 

On the third day you started crying over Hoseok again. 

On the fourth day, you started looking for other job openings.

On the fifth day, you get called on an interview and get the job. 

On the sixth day, you type out your resignation mail. 

And on the seventh day, you hit the send button. 

– 

On the first day of the third week, you find your doorbell ringing. 

You are about to take the very first bite of your meal but someone has to interrupt.

You are pushed into a half amazed and half confused state when you find Hoseok on the other side of the door. You thought he would be more than relieved to know that you have quit. It would be awkward to work together after your sudden confession, especially when you know Hoseok doesn't like certain boundaries to be crossed (which you have clearly done with no remorse), thus, you quitting the job should be the best option from Hoseok's perspective. So, what is he doing here? 

When you let him in, he looks grateful. 

"Hey, can we talk?" He whispers staring intently into your eyes as if he has missed getting lost into you. 

"Yeah.. sure." You reply with a small voice. 

"I missed you." His voice quivers.

"Me too." You smile a little. 

You don't know where this is going but if it's Hoseok.. you are ready to get hurt for years and years. 

--

[harrywavycurly]

Life with Steve and Eddie: Random Convos

Masterlist: Here

A/N: Because sometimes you just need to ask your two guy besties some questions…some maybe be a little more random than others✨

“Why do boys not shower everyday?” “Uh do I look like a guy who doesn’t shower?…She’s totally talking to you Munson.” “Get fucked Harrington I shower everyday and sometimes twice a day…who’s the smelly dude in question?” “Yeah who’s stinking up your personal space with their lack of hygiene?” “No one I was just wondering…after a while you all just…get this smell…it’s weird.” “It’s just man.” “Pardon me? It’s just what?” “Yeah Eddie…it’s what?” “It’s just man smell…you know like when your after shave and shit wears off? And you’re just left with…your…scent…” “you call that…just man smell?” “Yes?…what? You’re gonna try to tell me it doesn’t make sense?” “No that’s the thing…it actually does…” “Munson making sense? That’s terrifying…” “you’re both a bunch of assholes.”

“Would you sleep with me?” “What the fu-” “I’m sorry what did you just ask us?” “I’m just curious…am I cute?” “Totally…adorable.” “She doesn’t wanna hear she’s adorable Harrington she wants to know if she’s fuckable you dick.” “Oh uh well yeah…yeah..you…are.” “Smooth Steve…really fucking smooth…and to think you were once upon a time such a ladies man…” “fuck off Munson I just wasn’t prepared to be asked if I’d fuck my bestfriend while trying to enjoy a day at the lake.” “I don’t want to know if you’d personally sleep with me Steve I’m just curious if I’m…attractive in general.” “Yes..you are a thousand percent attractive…to anyone that has decent eye site.” “Thanks Eddie.” “Steve?” “Yes I agree you’re very attractive.” “Dude relax she’s not gonna jump your bones Jesus go take a dip…” “sorry sorry I’m just…is there a reason you’re asking? Did someone say something to you?” “Yeah do we need to add a name to the ass kicking list?” “No…no it’s not that I was just curious that’s all.” “Promise?” “Yes Steve I promise…now let’s go swimming.”

“Can you feel your feet?” “Oh fuck.” “What’s wrong?” “Steve! Can you feel your feet?…mine are off.” “Oh fuck.” “My thoughts exactly…she’s a goner.” “We’ve been at this party what? An hour?…how is she already gone? It was your turn to watch her Munson.” “Watch her? I’m not a babysitter Steve that’s literally your job.” “I was gonna take over for the next hour you asshole we agreed!” “Oh look someone gave me a sho-” “no more shots for you missy…give that to Harrington he needs to loosen up.” “Let’s just…put her on the couch and get her some snacks and she’ll be fine for like an hour or so…” “Steven Andrew Harrington we are not going to force feed our drunk bestfriend snacks so we can party for an extra hour…Jesus man it’s just a house party you dickwad.” “You’re right…we take her home and tuck her in then come back.” “Exactly…gotta make sure she’s safe and sound then we can come back.” “You’re…you’re…gonna party without…me?” “Not the shaky lip…Steve she’s doing the shaky lip.” “Listen…we just want to reach your level that’s all but it takes us a little longer and you’re…well your feet are turned off right?” “Oh god you’re right! They are!” “So we need to get you home so they can recharge.” “Yes exactly what Eddie said…gotta get you home so your feet can get ready for tomorrow.” “Okay! My bed can fit all our feet.” “Fuck me…I knew she was gonna say that.” “Give it to me straight Harrington…We aren’t coming back are we?” “You know her bed is like quicksand…once we lay in it there’s no getting out till tomorrow morning..” “damn her and her magical fucking bed…I just wanted to get drunk…” “sorry Munson…grab her left arm I’ll get her right.” “She fucking owes us…” “oh she doesn’t owe us shit this is what friends are for.” “God I just love you guys.” “We love you too.”

[justallihere]

i'm going insane bc i was away for the weekend and left my phone alone (god bless) and came back to a whole chapter PLUS love declaration PLUS forehead kiss ?? omg.....

Mira is not letting Xaden rest like ever, I do wonder what Violet told her while Xaden was prepping her bath tho.

“Not if it bothers you, they can’t,” said Xaden. “I’ll make sure they keep it away from you.” 

oh he wants violet to be comfortable so baaaad he's the embodiment of "is the sun bothering you queen" and im so here for it.

i'm totally fine and sane over xaden washing violet's hair im not kicking my feet or anything and im definetely not crying over how soft they are and how much trust must violet have on him bc she's letting him touch her hair after it being threatned to be cut.

forehead touches are my faaaav so u can imagine how well fed i am after this chapter and for that i say thank you alli *dramatically bows*

Xaden not wanting her to feel like she wasnt love so he just declares himself to her had me weak, like it could've been this grand gesture but nothing between them has ever been planned or expected so he just winged it and it was perfectly what she needed. talk about soulmates !!

when u told us the declaration was gonna hurt i didnt have this imagined in my mind but im so glad it happened this way and not the way i thought it was gonna happen. it was so bittersweet !!

ALSO she def knows she loves him shes just not ready to admit it bc in no way in hell would she ask him to say after he declared himself if she didnt know she also felt something

also the way they first slept i know xaden neck was complaining

also violet reminded me of a cat who always try to get closer in their sleep. she just wants to cuddle !! and shes so real for that

Rhiannon is truly a bestie!! not her terrorrizing the love interest we love a ride or die bestie, even if sometimes she's unresonable

“You whisked her away before anyone could check on her.” 

bestie there was not one single part of her that wasnt broken what was the man supposed to do *cries* but i do understand her stress

SLOANE MAIRI !!! not her calling the king of tyrrendor her brother i love that for her !! she's a princess so true. also i looove xaden and liam's talk it wasnt too cheesy bc tbh they dont operate like that but it was so genuine !!

can the guards chill !!

Garrick is just like me!! i too love gossip and will put my hands on it as soon as i can. but garrick its been like 12 hours wait a little longer or violet herself will call u out again. but also not garrick begging xaden no rule to country and he's just like "no <3" love that for him his wife just got back running a country is very far from his mind.

“Is that what you told her to do?” Rhiannon raised an eyebrow. “Get over it?” “No, but you’re not her, are you?”

He's so ??!!

the development of violet a few chapters ago being like "he didnt hold me while we slept bc there had been no excuses for it in Aretia" to now being like "im gonna curl into your arms so hard you'll never escape" and honestly good for them !!

anywayyyy i LOVED this chapter

lol a lot happened this weekend, welcome back!!!

Xaden’s literal one and only concern is Violet and her comfort, fuck everything else. I’m totally not fine and sane about the hair washing so I guess we balance each other out 🫶🏻

They are very much soulmates!! Xaden didn’t plan to fall in love with her, of course he didn’t plan some grand declaration of it either, we’re just going with what feels right. Violet is a grumpy little kitten yes you’re right

Rhiannon is stressed as hell, like give her best friend back RIORSON where is she

Garrick needs both gossip and for Xaden to do his job and he’s getting neither of those things! Too bad so sad!

Thank you!!!! 🩷

[moonfurthetemmie]

I went to sleep thinking about Supernova so now you have to deal with them again

So after all hell breaks loose and they’ve been trying to find a solution to the problem for a while, Slash and Delusion are probably going to end up meeting up alone once in a while. Might not be intentional. Likely won’t admit to it when it is intentional.

Pretty much the only place Delusion and Slash could hang out safely *and* have Delusion’s aura suppressed so he can just chill and not worry about hurting himself by having negative emotions is probably going to be Delusion’s apartment.

Unless they, for some reason, go through the trouble of setting up a little secret place with a magic suppression field. But that’s so much troubleee

So slash just breaks into his apartment. Because that’s so much safer (sarcasm). God only knows how she managed it. Delusion doesn’t bother asking, he doesn’t care anymore.

It’s so weird for her to see him emoting like a normal person. She never saw this before she started breaking in, and while she’s not surprised he has the suppressor thing in his apartment, it’s so bizarre that it almost feels like danger

fortunately it’s not. At least, not inherently.

But then sometimes they just end up in a back alley alone and neither of them come home for a while so. Yknow.

also can I just.

Them having an almost soft moment, because feelings are getting to be so much. Delusion, who by now has completely given in to the feelings, asking if she’ll stay the night. He just wants her there. It doesn’t have to be anything else. She can leave whenever. She could leave at the crack of dawn if she wants.

Slash naturally wants to say no. It doesn’t feel right. She’s always been with Byte and Pluto and they’re going to be so worried when she doesn’t come home.

“Eventually, that won’t be problem,” Delusion says.

“…If you could promise not to brainwash them it’d probably happen a lot sooner.”

“I don’t brainwash anyone. I just help them see things my way. If they decide that’s the correct way, that is their choice.”

“Yeah, sure. Like all those people who protested JR’s methods suddenly preaching about how wonderful it is switched extremes in a week of their own volition. I don’t care what you call it. You don’t need to do it to Error and Nightmare.”

“And risk them taking you away? Or Nightmare leaving again? No.”

“You’re the reason he left in the first place, jackass.”

“…yes. I am. But I will make it right.“

eventually Slash agrees. because despite herself she does want to stay. Just this once.

Can I ALSO just

“One way or another, we’ll find a way to make this work.”

Delusion knows she doesn’t like his solution, but he’s willing to “help” her see how good it would be.

She knows he would. But she’ll introduce his head to a baseball bat if it’ll get him to just agree to do it her way.

Honestly their goals are pretty much exactly the same, it’s just the method of getting there that’s the problem.

The goal is for them to all just be chill, Slash can have her besties and an inadvisable boyfriend, Delusion will get to have his childhood bestie back and an inadvisable girlfriend, and also Delusion will clear them of charges from JR and help them hide from the rest of law enforcement so they can do whatever they want.

If they were all chill there’s the slight possibility that the horror squad would help him take targets out, but they’re a bunch of petty little shits so it’ll take quite a while before they even seriously think about it.

[trulyyoursdevil]

My bestie dad had got new car so while chatting with her dad(Uncle) , I congratulates him and so he asked me to join him for lunch at home after our class . I given my nod and took permission from my mom for staying late there . After school we went there and it is simply wow red car 🚗. He took us for a quick ride and had icecream by the corner shop near his house. My bestie and uncle was having same icecream and it’s simply amazing . He kept licking while he was driving . She is playing naughty while we all laughed . We reached home and then lunch was ready . My bestie asked daddy for today’s special treat and uncle simply lift her up and kissed her gently , while putting down he said it’s my favourite food he prepared. I was so happy as I wasn’t expecting such surprise lately. I can see my bestie a little sad to hear it but she managed to pull me and hugged me . We three were there only As her mom was not around. While serving food uncle smelled my hair and teased me with word, NICE ! I always liked him as he is so nice and gentleman. We had our lunch my bestie got a call from her cousin as he is visiting him as they planned to meet somewhere in between . She forgot this as he is about to reach the place so she hurried away and asked me if I am ok to stay or her daddy will drop her home . She felt so sorry and I assured it’s ok I will manage. After she left in hurry this is my first all alone with her daddy in her house , infact I never visited anyone like this alone ever. Uncle asked me if I wana go home or stay for a while . I said it’s ok I can be here . He asked me to join the video game as we always play when I am here . We started playing the game and he is such a wonderful guy keep asking am I comfortable enough. I always feel home with him . After I lost the game , I turned on tv and started playing random channel, and played music. My favourite swift Taylor and I couldn’t stopped dancing slowly. He was watching me and smiling . I took his hand and we both started dancing . He is such a bad dancer but tying his best to match my tap . Then he hold me by my waist and we are enjoying the song. I hugged him closely and completely into his arms now . My first with him so intimate closer with him. He is gently scrubbing my back and dancing . I looked up after lifting my chin-up and he is looking into me . I lift my toes up and nodes him to kiss me . He kissed my forehead first and I melt like iceberg with his charm. Then he kissed my lips while holding me tight a bit. I loved it . Then he stopped and asked me am I comfortable and I said yes . He hugged me tight and the lift me up in his arms. Took me to sofa nearby . I was in my school dress . Kept me carefully over there and sit beside me . I moved myself and sit on his lap . Now I r facing each other warm breathes and he kissed me more passionately while admiring my beauty and smell. He kissed my sweet spot my neck and I get more warm with his each passing kisses . I took his hands and take him to my thighs under skirt and he start caressing slowly . Oh geez I loved his touch and the way he caressing remind me my daddy . He softly asked about am I ok if he open my shirt buttons . I said daddy I am all yours , he is so surprised and kissed my forehead again, I don’t know why I said and called him daddy but I did . He removed each button carefully and kept kissing softly . He kept my shirt open and looked into my white bra and my small boobs so meticulously. He simply kissed my supper left breast and said how beautiful they are . I asked aren’t they smaller than his daughter and he replied with smile , it’s not about the size ever for him , it’s the inner beauty and trust . I melt agian with his words . He reached my back to remove bra strap and now I am all upper naked , he took my bra and took into near his nose and smelled it. I was still in his lap and arms . He sucked my left nipples and then right one by one . I was moaning high in ecstasy . He started playing with fingers around my pink nipples . They were aroused enough and I was so high .

[hopes-memorial]

Easedrop hehe :3 I don’t care for which muse

Normally I'd do all of them, bestie, but gotta reduce it to two... sorry.

Amai x Gundham x Hajime

"Marin, you don't... no, they're... you don't... uh, let me talk already!" Rarely did they ever get annoyed when they were about to talk with Mari, but with how she was going on and on about the princess that she had bad history with and speculating on Sonia's company, they were getting a little annoyed.

"No, no... Gacchan isn't like that and neither is Hina-chan. They're both the sweetest guys ever. Gacchan has these adorable hamsters that are always with him that are called the Devas, and they're all so sweet! ... yeah, yeah, hehe, those are aaaalways really cute, right? Amai should make some for your skrong! Hm... but Amai doesn't know what they eat... you'll have to tell me later. Gacchan would probably really really like to see it, too! He loves aaaall animals so much and he always has so many treats for them with him and they all love him so much... hmm... it makes Amai swoon over him every time....

"Hina-chan is suuuuper cute, too, though. He's so sweet to me, and he always makes sure that Amai is taking care of myself. He needs to take better care of his own self-esteem, though... hm? ...Yeah... Amai is here to remind him that he's a suuuper sweet and perfect guy for me! And he is! He's so thoughtful and he has this perfect awkwardness that makes him just the cutest guy ever.... I just... it makes me want to be just hug him all the time! Aaaah, he's perfect, they both are. You have to meet them one day, Marin. You'll love them, too, Amai is sure of it... Oh, think Amai has to go, talk to you later."

Haruka x Yukino

"Yes, mother, I am more than enjoying my time at the academy. It has created quite a few wonderful experiences... one of which I would want you to bear witness to yourself if possible." Haruka's mother made sure to call everyday, though with how much there was to report on and how busy her mother was, she didn't always have the chance to yap about her lovely and perfect girlfriend to her mother.

"No, mother, this is nothing upsetting, quite the opposite in fact. ...yes, I suppose you could say that, though it is, in truth much more than simply a close friendship. I'm convinced that she is my soulmate.

"There is a kindness and compassion to her that I have never seen in another person before, and with her respect for the dead... I can hardly think of anyone more sublime than her. The air of mystery that surrounds her only makes me all the more enchanted by her, and her expertise with ghosts and spirits...." She sighs softly before listening and chuckling. "Perhaps I'm a little head over heels... though it simply cannot be helped, mother. Do you think... all right, thank you. Until we see one another once more," she says as she hangs up, not realizing that someone in particular had been watching her the whole time.

[toournextadventure]

Hi! Hope you're doing well! Just wanted to say that I absolutely love your Birb Reader and Wednesday series. They are both such simps for each other, I literally can't with the both of them.

Was just wondering if you were taking requests (HCs) and if so, you were taking any for the series but like as a seperate thing? Because all I'm imagining (especially with the whole idea of R being into boxing) is like she gets a call (maybe an unknown number) that she answers, or even a letter and it's from Kristi or Marcus (they used a different phone after realising R wasn't picking up Kristi's calls) and it just completely rattles her.

So she heads to the gym (I would imagine Nevermore has a gym, there's wolves at the school, and they need to let their rough and tumbles out somehow while human) and she just loses it on a punching bag. Like to the point where the stitching starts to rip and her knuckles are dripping with blood. Maybe Enid and the other furs are there and she tries to get her to stop, but R's too in her head to listen.

So Enid goes to get Wednesday instead (Enid won't mention how quickly Wednesday drops what she's doing to go to R, but she will mercilessly tease Wednesday for it later) and all she has to do is call Rs name, and put her hand on her shoulder. She's direct but gentle and it gets her to stop and R just breaks down at the concern she hears in Wednesday's voice.

Either she tells her what's going on or Wednesday doesn't press her for information (even though inside she's dying to know what got R that upset) and just cleans up her hands.

Sorry for the massive ramble and no worries if you don't take requests or HCs for the actual series itself. That was just an idea I had that would not leave my head! 😅 Thanks and thanks so much for writing such a great Reader series. Genuinely one of my favourites!

It is here because this is a PERFECT idea

Bestie listen, I am FLOORED with this because yes, I am ALWAYS wanting to do hcs or oneshots for this universe, I have SO MANY different ideas and I wanna know what ideas y'all have too! I love hearing it! If you have anymore PLEASE send them they're so much fun and are fantastic for worldbuilding!

Second, you have PERFECTLY CAPTURED Reader's personality and relationship with trauma. She tries so hard to be nonchalant and to stay strong for everyone but she's just a teenager too, she's still a kid, she can't stay strong for everyone all the time. She wants to be perfect and good and she's not but she can't let anyone else see it, and when someone finally does force her to stop being strong? Oh god it's like the sweetest hell

[darklydeliciousdesires]

Not One of Many - Chapter Twenty Eight.

A thousand thank you’s for your patience with this, guys! I am so bowled over with the popularity of this, I truly am. It was a risky undertaking, to write a modern day Alfie, but I’m glad you all seemed to enjoy him as much as I did writing him. 

Previous chapters - Prologue  One  Two  Three  Four  Five  Six  Seven  Eight  Nine  Ten  Eleven  Twelve  Thirteen  Fourteen  Fifteen  Sixteen  Seventeen  Eighteen  Nineteen  Twenty  Twenty One  Twenty Two  Twenty Three  Twenty Four  Twenty Five  Twenty Six  Twenty Seven

Tag list - In the comments

Words - 5,119

Warnings - 18+ content, adult audience only. Minors DNI!

“So, I’ve said to this girl, you don’t bloody come into my wardrobe and start calling the shots, no way, petal, not happening, and I don’t bloody care who you are, what agency you represent, or which rich footballer you happen to be getting your leg over, I ain’t having it!”

Models. Oh, if they even dared try and test Magda’s authority within her sacred space, how quickly they got shut down for it. The ELLE wardrobe department was her chapel, and she didn’t allow anyone to sully the sanctity of such. It also made for some very amusing brunch conversation, especially for Mimi, who was sitting next to Beth, meeting both Magda and Kinga for the first time. The former she found a little scary, but very entertaining, it had to be said.  

“So, darling,” Kinga began, dabbing her mouth on a napkin as she looked across at Mimi. “I hear from Beth that you landed a role at London Life and Style! How is that going for you?”

Mimi politely finished her mouthful of toast before replying. “It’s going very well, thank you for asking. I’m learning the ropes, mostly over office dynamics, who to be in with, who to avoid, and how to keep my schedule running for the most efficiency, timekeeping wise. But yes, I’m really enjoying myself.” For Mimi, it all felt so wonderful, sitting there at a lovely restaurant, enjoying food that she’d paid for, feeling so professional with the three powerhouse career women in her company, invited into their world and accepted as an equal.  

It was a real shot in the arm for her, to be someone on her own and not just one of a rich man’s three girlfriends. She saw the way people viewed her so differently now she was out there under her own merit, and she partly had Beth’s friendship to thank for that.

“For you,” she spoke a little while later, holding out something wrapped in pink tissue paper. “Sorry it isn’t wrapped properly, but here. I thought you’d like it.”  

“Oh, you sweetheart,” Beth hummed, stopping their little tour of the small shopping arcade, taking her gift and unwrapping it gently. There inside was a dainty silver bangle with a heart charm from the small jewellery shop they’d just visited. She’d wondered why Mimi had suddenly scurried to the counter without showing her the purchase she was about to make. “Mims! It’s lovely! Thank you so much!” she cooed, placing it on her wrist and pulling her into a hug. “You shouldn't have, though! Didn’t you mention your rent was going to be a struggle?”

“Not any longer! We found a fourth person for the last room in the house, so that’s saved me a hundred quid a week, and even more with the share of the bills, too!” Her original plan to share with friends in Notting Hill hadn’t been successful, losing out on the property. They’d since found a lovely townhouse in Islington to rent, though, the fourth person now making such a property a much more pocket friendly abode. It also only took fifteen minutes on the tube to get to work.  

“Oh, that’s great! I’m so pleased for you! Oh, and before I forget, Alfie suggested the 18th for our night out, if you and Josh can make it then?”  

Mimi nodded brightly. “Yes, I’ll put it to him when I see him later, but I think that should be fine! He’s a bit nervous, bless him, but I’m so glad he’s fine with the idea of me and my ex being friends. I mean, no disrespect to Alfie, he’s my bestie, but like I told Josh, I’m becoming more your friend now as we see each other quite often.”

She was right, too, Beth thought, since she did usually see Mimi once a week now, for brunch and shopping, or to go and ride the horses together, sometimes a mix of it all, as they were doing that day after their shopping trip had concluded, Beth driving them out to the stables for a couple of hours riding over the fields. After their lovely ride out, they returned to London to have a nice afternoon with Amira, meeting up for a coffee and a walk through Richmond Park before Mimi went out on her date with Josh, the women all taking a seat and enjoying the blissful warmth of the late summer sunshine.

“Isn’t it a bloody beautiful day, girls?” Amira chirped, adjusting her sunglasses, her face absolutely pristinely made up. She’d been on a photoshoot since the early hours of the morning, so had arrived in full glam to meet her friends, Mimi sitting with her bag in her lap, rummaging through all the free skincare samples she’d received courtesy of the company she’d worked the job for.

“Can I have these?” she asked, Amira waving her hand.

“Get in there and take anything you want!” she enthused kindly. “They gave me so much, and I’ll never use it. Beth, there’s some lavender setting spray in there, wait a minute.” Reaching over into Mimi’s lap, she rummaged, pulling the bottle out and passing it over. “Here, I know you love the smell, and I can’t bloody stand it, so go on! Oh, and try this lotion as well, it’s so nice! They gave me above five of the same one!”

“Well, first Mims treating me to jewellery and now you giving me skincare goodies,” Beth began, Amira comically continuing.

“Face mask, toning water, pillow mist.”

“I feel very spoiled!” she finished, laughing at the rate the products came her way. “You’re only doing this so you don’t have so much to lug home, aren’t you?”

Amira widened her eyes. “Ahh, shit. You caught me out!” The women shared laughter, Mimi finished with her raiding for freebies and handed Amira her bag back, falling into conversation as they caught up with one another. Beth was having fun doing just that, when the incessant ringing of her phone disturbed it.  

“I’m so sorry,” she began, polite as always. “If I don’t take it, they’re just going to keep on calling me.”

“No, it’s fine,” Mimi reassured her as she answered her phone. They chatted between each other while Beth took the call, her exclaimed cry of ‘what?’ making them sit up and take notice, Amira kindly shuffling her hair around to place a caring hand on her arm when she noticed tears pooling in her eyes.  

“Are you okay, chick?” she asked, as soon as Beth had finished the call.  

“No, I’m not. I’m bloody furious!” she began, Mimi quick to offer a paper napkin across the table, Beth thanking her with a sniff. “That fucking woman! She’s now taken to emailing one of my editors about me, apparently warning him off hiring me!” she took a breath, drying her eyes and swallowing hard. “That was Piers Taylor on the phone, editor of Southside City, one of the magazines I freelance for. Luckily because we’ve had a sterling relationship for many years, he paid it no mind, only calling to give me the heads up on it, but still! She’s interfering with my bloody work now, and I will not have it!”  

Amira shook her head, continuing her affectionate rubbing of her arm, while Mimi picked up her own phone. “This ends now.”  

“Mims, what are you doing?” Beth asked.

“I’m calling her, putting a flippin’ stop to this!” Opening FaceTime, she was connecting the call before Beth had a chance to stop her, but by the time Talia had answered, she wasn’t entirely sure whether she did want to cease what Mimi was about to do. “Right, you listen to me, and you fucking listen good! We had the grace to part ways with Alfie amicably and not try to wreck his new girlfriend’s life, and I’m telling you now, you need to do the same!”

“Mimi, what the fu...” This was as far as Talia got.

“No, I’m talking, right!” Beth and Amira shared wide eyes there, neither having witnessed that amount of ire come from their cheery little friend before, not ever. “What you’re doing, yeah, it’s bloody wrong! He isn’t going to get back with you, no matter how much you hate Beth. Interfering in her work now too? Spraying Alfie’s car? Like, what the fuck? Where do you draw the line?”

“I draw the line in stating to you what I did to Alfie, this isn’t coming from me! It really isn’t! I’m fucking done with being accused of something I haven’t had anything to do with. Now, will the lot of you just fucking leave me alone! I’m happy, I’ve moved on, got a new boyfriend, I don’t need this shit, Mimi! Don’t call me again, in fact, I’m blocking you. Piss off!”

“Oh my god!” Amira cried once the call had ended, covering her mouth with her hand. “Shit, babe. You really gave it to her!”

Beth was too stunned to speak for a moment, but when she did, it was with an observation that cut the lingering anger from the air entirely. “I think you channelled Alfie a bit there, using the words right and yeah as punctuation.” They all shared laughter, Mimi shaking her head as she slipped her phone away. 

While she might have felt better for chewing her out to begin with, something just wasn’t sitting right with her, that something being that she honestly, deep down, didn’t think Talia was lying. She knew when she was, and seeing her there on the screen, her vehemence had been so very clear. She knew that sharing such a doubt would likely upset Beth, though, so for the sake of her friend, put it away at the back of her mind, but made a mental note to broach it at a later time with her.  

“Right, well I’m going to love you beautiful ladies and leave you,” Mimi began, getting up. “Give me hugs, you gorgeous people!” They instantly granted her such. She wanted a long bath before going out with Josh later that evening, so was heading back to the front of Richmond Park, where they’d met up, Amira and Beth walking with her before turning back the way they came, Amira picking them up a couple of fresh coffees from the small outdoor cart by the main gate.  

“Don’t drink it yet, babe!” she warned, Beth about to take a sip. “It’s fucking steaming hot, I just burned my bloody lip on it!”  

“Appreciated, thanks,” Beth chirped, the women taking the small path that led them away from the main hub of activity, out towards where the many wild deer of the park grazed contently.  

“So, what articles are you working on at the moment?” Amira asked, falling into step at her side.  

“Right now, I’m up to my ears in researching about a huge one relating to what we’re learning is likely considered cult like activity, a group of people over in America we’re researching. Myself and Kinga are working on it as a team, in fact, since it’s such a huge undertaking.” Amira’s eyes widened.

“What, are we talking an expose or something?”

Beth nodded, raising her eyebrows. “Yes, so we need to get our ducks in a row. It points a finger at a certain prominent individual within the corporate investment world, hence why we have a lot of ground to cover, people to interview, you know, the usual. It’ll be the biggest piece in my career to date, and I’m even receiving advice from Steve as I go, over the legalities of such, since it’s obviously an undertaking with many legal ramifications.”  

“Blimey!” Amira exclaimed, looking bowled over by the magnitude of it, asking what she could as they continued to walk.  

Meanwhile, Mimi was keeping an eye out for her Uber, watching the car move slowly along on the app, thinking he was likely stuck in traffic leading down towards the entrance to the park, since a horse-drawn hearse had just passed by. She thought how grand it was, the beautiful, black horses with their full plumage, pulling the immaculate carriage containing a coffin covered in white lilies. What a fitting way to give someone an elegant send off.  

Noticing that through her own equine endeavours (namely riding out in the rain without her gloves on) she was beginning to get chapped fingers, she rooted around in her bag, having a look through the many samples for the tube of hand cream Amira had gifted her.  

“Avocado oil, eye cream, exfoliator, peanut oil. Oh, shit. I didn’t ask her if I could have one of those,” she began, muttering to herself. “Ahh, doesn’t matter. I saw she had another.” Continuing her search, something suddenly hit her like a thunderbolt. Peanut oil. It wasn’t something commonly used in skincare. It also wasn’t a sample size. As all the little pieces that didn’t make sense suddenly fitted together, Mimi’s eyes widened in horror.  

She was sure Talia wasn’t lying.  

The harassment had to have been coming from someone they both knew.

Beth was deathly allergic to peanuts.

“Oh, Jesus!” she gasped on a sob, turning at a run, almost knocking a lady behind her clean off her feet. “I’m sorry!” she called back as she ran flat out down the path...

“Awwww, Beth look at the baby!” Amira cooed as the women came to a stop to watch the deer in the middle distance, one of the small fawns haphazardly trotting along after its mother on brand new, shaky long legs.  

“Absolutely precious,” she confirmed, taking a sip of her coffee, glad it was now cool enough to do so. Immediately, she felt that something wasn’t right, her lips starting to tingle, her throat starting to itch. She swallowed, feeling her airway beginning to tighten, panic setting in.  

“Beth, what’s up?” Amira asked, grasping her arm gently.  

“Peanuts... in the coffee... something with nut extract.” she rasped, Amira’s mouth falling open.  

“Those stupid people! I told them one was for someone with a nut allergy and checked that nothing had bloody peanuts! Fuck! Right, give me your bag. You’ve got your EpiPen, haven’t you?” Beth nodded through a wheeze, her throat tightening dramatically, passing her bag over, Amira crouching as she opened it and began to root through. “Bloody hell, mate, you’ve got so much in here!”  

She frantically rooted through until she found the orange tube containing it, straightening up again, watching as Beth fought for air. “Is this it? Beth, is this what you need?” Her rapid nods through each panicked breath confirmed it, Beth reaching, a feeling of cold dread snapping through her when Amira’s face darkened in an instant, snatching the EpiPen away. “You took what was mine, so now it’s only fair I take something of yours. Bye.” Dropping her bag to the ground, Amira turned and ran, leaving Beth standing there, with no lifeline, nothing to stop her throat from rapidly closing. It was her... it had been her all along.

Blind terror hit her square in the chest, trying to fight for air, not able to get as much as her tingling lungs required, her tongue and lips inflating, falling to the ground, searching her surroundings for someone, anyone who might have noticed her drop, suddenly then hearing her name being screamed over and over.  

“Beth! Beth, I’m here, I’m here!” Mimi, thank the stars, she wasn’t alone. “Where’s your EpiPen? I know what she did, I bloody worked it out!” Grasping Beth’s bag, she upended it onto the path, searching, panicking when she couldn’t see it anywhere, the vital piece of kit needed to prevent her friend from going into full-blown anaphylaxis. At not seeing it there, she knew then there was truly no limit to what Amira was prepared to have done in the name of cold-blooded revenge, obviously swiping it before hightailing it away, leaving Beth to her fate. “It isn’t here, it isn’t here! Fuck, what do I do? Fuck!”

No. This couldn’t happen.

“Help us, please! Help!” Mimi screamed, trying to lift Beth’s head back to open her swollen airway. “She can’t breathe! Please help us, someone! I need an EpiPen!” Turning back to Beth, she clutched her hand, stroking her head. “It’s going to be okay, babe, it will! Try to keep calm.” Pulling her phone out, she called for an ambulance, just as she witnessed two ladies running over to them, a man coming from another direction. “It’s my friend, she’s having an allergic reaction and she can’t breathe! We’re in Richmond Park, about three minutes off the pathway leading from the front gate, first little path on the left,” she began to tell the operator after dialling 999. “No, someone took her EpiPen, please hurry, she can’t breathe!”

“It’s okay, I have one, I have one,” one of the ladies who arrived with her told her, pulling it from her bag, the operator hearing and telling her to stay on the line to assess her reaction once it was administered, telling her she was sending an ambulance right away all the same. Even through her frightened tears, Mimi breathed a sigh of relief as she watched the lady prepare it, plunging it down into Beth’s thigh, a few seconds passing before she heard her take a breath, her airways opening enough to allow it.  

Mimi was shaking so hard, the man who crouched with them took her phone, explaining to the operator that the pen had been administered, his words muted to Mimi as she sobbed, stroking Beth’s face. “Are you okay, are you alright?”  

“Yes... no... I... god, Mims! If you hadn’t come back!” she sobbed, pulling her darling friend into a hug, feeling dizzy and taking her to the ground with her when she lay back, the two women crying with a mixture of residual fear and relief. They had a little moment to fall apart before Mimi helped her sit up, the two other ladies assisting, the man asking if they wanted him to wait as well, and if there was anything he could do. They told him no, but thanked him profusely, the man handing Mimi her phone before wishing them all well and departing, continuing on his jogging trail.  

“Thank you so, so much. You saved me!” Beth exclaimed, swallowing, her throat sore and still a little tight as she reached for the lady who had administered the EpiPen, watching her take her hand with a smile.

“My little boy has an almond allergy, so I have one in my bag at all times, even when he ain’t with me! You alright now, though? How do you feel?”  

“Shaken up!” As rightly anyone would, going through such. The women, who Beth and Mimi learned were called Angela and Helen stayed with them until the ambulance turned up, the paramedics assessing her at the scene and decreeing it likely the safest option to have her looked over by a doctor. Mimi cancelled her plans with Josh while Beth was being checked, telling him there’d been an emergency and she’d call him later on, making a call then to Alfie, telling him of what had happened.  

She rode in the back of the ambulance with Beth, telling her that Alfie was on his way, Mimi the first person to see him after she’d popped outside the A&E entrance, Alfie bundling her up in a hug.  

“You bloody saved her life, treacle,” he told her a little shakily, squeezing her tightly. “I know everyone used to joke about you not being the sharpest knife in the drawer, but the way you put all that together. Fuckin’ ‘ell! I just can’t... and is she alright? Can I go see her?”

Mimi kissed his cheek, squeezing his shoulders, remembering whenever he was tense, that’s exactly where that tension went to. “She’s fine, she’s obviously quite shaken up, but she’s seeing the doctor right now. I just came out here to call her mum for her and let her know what had happened.”

The truth was, Mimi only had little guesses to go on with the evidence she’d witnessed, Beth being the one to fill them in over it all after the doctor had discharged her, deeming her well enough to go home, but remain vigilant for anything further. It was as the three sat in Alfie’s lounge, the man himself bundling Beth up in a blanket and a massive hug that she shared with them exactly what had happened after Mimi had left.  

“So, we were just walking along, talking about work and watching the deer, and I took a sip of the coffee she’d bought me, which I now know why she told me not to drink while we were up on the main path, because she obviously wanted to get me far away from anyone who could help, or see what she did. I felt my lips and throat itching and swelling, and she made like she was trying to help me, looking for my EpiPen.  

“When she found it in my bag, she asked if this was what I needed, and then told me that since I’d taken something of hers, she was taking something of mine. The way she looked, her face, god, the hatred! She ran off then, I suppose from her standpoint thinking she’d just committed the perfect crime. She knew, of course, that my peanut allergy is deathly, that I could die within minutes from anaphylactic shock. She knew that right from the start, back when I was here as a journalist and she offered me some peanut butter on toast, I explained it to her then.”

She took a moment, waving her hand, feeling teary again as she leaned back against Alfie’s comforting bulk, but equally reaching for Mimi’s hand. “I know it was Angela’s EpiPen that did it, but ultimately, you saved my life today, Mims. If you hadn’t had that little wondering about the peanut oil in her bag, then all of this could have taken such a turn. I owe you a huge debt. Thank you, I love you.”

Mimi’s lip trembled, shuffling closer and throwing her arms around her, Alfie jointly hugging them both. “Aww, I ain’t had a group hug off of a few beautiful ladies in a while now!” Both women reacted at the same time, but with different words.

“Oi, enough of that.”

“Don’t you be getting any ideas!”

They shared laughter, Alfie pinching Mimi’s cheek. “Nah. I got me a great woman, and one hell of a brilliant little bestie, here. Wouldn’t change that for the world.”  

Mimi stayed only for half an hour longer, both Beth and Alfie thanking her again and again, the former telling her she’d keep her posted in case the police wanted to take her statement, Alfie calling them not long after they’d seen her into a cab at their expense at the door. With her being a little shaky still and Alfie reluctant to take her to the station in light of such, an officer came out to them to take her statement, asking too for Mimi’s details, as well as what they could give him about Amira.  

Once it was just the two of them, they sat and quietly reflected on the gravitas of the culmination.

“It’s fucking knocked me for six,” Alfie lamented, rubbing a hand over his beard, Beth next to him, Cyril half lying in her lap. He knew something different was afoot with his mummy. “I don’t half owe Talia a fuckin’ massive apology, accusing the poor cow of all this, and she ain’t even had a hand in it. I mean I know, yeah, she wasn’t exactly squeaky clean in her behaviour, but she weren’t lying when she said she’d moved on from it all. But bloody fuckin’ ‘ell, for it to have been Amira, all this time?”

Beth felt for him, to have yet another ex behave in a way that showed loud and clear that ultimately, he hadn’t known them half as well as he thought he had. “I know, she had everybody fooled into thinking she was something she wasn’t. But look, I’m fine, and it’s over now, all of this that had been hanging over us. We’re free of her messing around, her stalking, everything she was doing in an attempt to hurt me. We’ll feel the shock of it for a while, but at least we have each other. And Mims. She’s become so important to me, and she’s testament to the fact that at least with some girls, you bloody did make fantastic choices.”

He smiled then, turning to her. “I made the best one when I knew it was you I wanted my future with, though.” In the months that followed, right up until and beyond Amira facing a judge for her actions, Beth would only continue to solidify that notion, too...

Epilogue

The Burj Khalifa; it was perhaps one of the most impressive masterpieces of modern architecture in the world, the impossible height deeming it the world’s tallest building, the view from the balcony upon the 117th floor testament to that, even if it had taken Beth Solomons three days after her arrival to be brave enough to venture out upon it.  

“Ahhh, look at that,” Alfie chimed from the apartment, smiling as he watched his new bride finally step out into the sunshine. “She’s found her balls!”

Shaking her head, she blew the steam from her coffee, taking a careful sip. “Yes, admittedly I perhaps should have conquered it upon our arrival, but better late than never!”

They were in Dubai as part of their honeymoon tour, fresh from spending a week in Bora Bora, stopping off for another week in the emirates for Alfie to check in on progress at his resort currently still under construction, the huge complex now two thirds finished. His most important endeavour, though? Enjoying the break with his wife, both of them actually setting aside their need to throw themselves into their careers and instead, enjoy their life together as newlyweds.

After the chaos with Amira the previous year, Alfie had decided to propose to Beth on her birthday, just a week after Hannukah. Their families had thought it was a little rushed, but had been very happy for them all the same, Beth’s darling bubbe decreeing it to be bashert. They’d married in a beautiful ceremony in New York, at one of the most stunning synagogues in Manhattan, before they’d had their reception at The Plaza, Alfie happy to fork out the thousands upon thousands to fly all of their loved ones out there first class.  

The wedding itself had cost an eye watering seven hundred thousand dollars, and Beth hadn’t protested a moment of it, like he worried that she might. She’d eased into being the fiancé, and then the wife of a multi-millionaire with ease, once she’d gotten used to it. In fact, Alfie was well underway to making his first billion at that point, so why not celebrate with a huge, luxurious wedding? As long as he’d let her buy him a pint and lunch a few days a week, and pay her way with what she could manage, all was fine in her mind.  

It had truly been a lavish affair, Kinga and Magda acting as bridesmaids, and Alfie having Steve and Marcus as his groomsmen. His best man? Mimi. “Well, you are the best woman, ain’t ya?” he’d spoken upon asking her, his dear friend bursting into tears and hugging him as she’d accepted. Her actions in saving Beth’s life had truly cemented them as wonderful friends, Alfie standing there at his reception, watching her, Beth, Kinga and Magda dancing to Hava Nagila together, telling Steve and Marcus how unbelievably fortunate he felt, to have married a woman like Beth, and got to keep in his life someone he thought as highly of as he did Mimi.

They’d finally been able to set aside the events of the previous year just over three months previously, when Amira’s criminal case had resulted in her receiving a custodial sentence of fifteen years for attempted murder. It was what their legal team had anticipated she’d receive at best, of course all thought she should have received a heavier sentence for the cruel and vindictive premeditated plot to try and take Beth’s life, but within the legal parameters, and taking into consideration that Beth didn’t suffer any long-term harm or deliberation as a result, this was realistic. She wouldn’t be eligible for parole for at least ten, either.  

Amira was behind them, now, though, only a beautiful future ahead, Beth’s journalism going from strength to strength. Her work with Kinga to expose a cult had been one of the vital pieces of evidence to bring the figureheads of the organisation to justice for many offences, such as money laundering, human trafficking and slavery, Beth and Kinga having their names flushed to the forefront of gritty, British journalism, both even featuring in the documentary series that would air later that year, once the case had been brought to trial in America. Alfie had never been prouder of her.  

“It really is a stunning view up here,” she spoke, running a hand through her hair, the gorgeous, cushion cut diamond on her left-hand glittering in the morning sun. It still made him laugh, when he remembered her reaction to opening the box containing it and having him swiftly propose. Stunned didn’t cover it, Beth nearly scaring Cyril half to death after she’d screamed ‘yes!’ at about a thousand decibels.  

“Yeah, but it ain’t nothing compared to this one.” Turning her, he smiled, nodding. “Yeah, that’s the best view in the world for me. Whenever I’m looking at the missus.” She leaned in close, receiving the kiss he granted her with before he left her to it to go and answer his phone, Beth hearing him chatting to Marcus about how things were going with the resort.  

Sometimes, she still couldn’t believe that the decision to enter that high end bar in Chelsea to drown her sorrows in a bottle of wine she couldn’t really afford had put her on the path to where she’d ended up, but she wouldn’t change anything for the world. She was exactly where she needed to be. And then she made the critical mistake of looking down.

“Nope!” Back inside she speedily went, placing her empty mug down and wrapping her arms around her husband. Now she was exactly where she needed to be.

The End.

[bitletsanddrabbles]

Don't Tell Anyone

One thing that has always gotten me about Downton Fandom is that very, very many people insist that if something happens, the entire household - both upstairs and down - automatically knows about it. It's not just that secrets don't stay between one or two people, it's that they straight up don't exist. I generally see it as an intro to post-suicide attempt fic where of course the entire downstairs learns about it, no one would buy that 'flu' excuse, and they all realize how wonderful Thomas is and cluster around him and all become absolute besties (except Carson because he's awful)...which is, of course, the most realistic response to a suicide attempt ever. Especially in that time period. But I see it other places too and I just kinda sit there and go "Have you actually thought about that statement, or have you just embraced fanon so much you've forgot the program?"

Downton has secrets. Downton keeps secrets. There are things that happened downstairs that no one upstairs knows about. There are things that happened upstairs that no one downstairs know about. There are things that have never gone past three or four people knowing them.

And here's where a lot of people go "Oh yeah, like what?"

Well, we can start with the suicide attempt. Alright, that was a larger pool, but we have no evidence that it moved past - Thomas, Miss Baxter, Andy, Mrs. Hughes, Anna, and Mr. Carson downstairs and the family who were there and present with Carson came in upstairs. It's possible that Anna told Mr. Bates, but it's not a given. Tom and Violet likely found out, especially if they noticed his absence at dinner and bothered to ask (which seems likely with Violet). There's no reason for Edith to know, since Thomas was back on his feet by the time she came back from London, and there is no indication that Daisy or Mrs. Patmore have any clue.

For smaller pools, we have the rapes. Yes, plural. No, I'm not counting Pamuk because while that was highly dubious consent, she did consent. She even said so when her mother asked. The reason the rapes are plural is because you not only have Anna and Alex Green - kept firmly between Anna, Mrs. Hughes, and Mr. Bates...maybe Lady Mary, I can't quite remember - but where I come from drugging a man to have sex with him is rape as well, so you can toss Braithwaite and Branson in there - again, kept between the two of them, Mrs. Hughes, and Thomas which, hey! Look at Thomas keep that secret!

The best kept secret with the smallest pool is a pool of two. Thomas's conversion therapy is kept firmly between him and Miss Baxter. Dr. Clarkson learns at the end, but he's not part of the household and is good about patient confidentiality. Everyone else knew he was ill - even Mrs. Patmore could tell that without her reading specs - but only those two ever knew exactly what was going on.

The list continues. There is, infamously, the Pamuk thing. A lot of people have guessed about Marigold, but not everyone knows. Mrs. Hughes's cancer scare never went beyond her, Mrs. Patmore, Mr. Carson, and Cora. I seriously can not even remember all of them!

So yeah. Write your "the entire house knows about X" fanfic all you want, but please stop acting like everyone just...agrees with you on that point. As an author it makes me very edgy, because while yes, I love my readers and their comments and all of that and I never, ever want them to go away or stop saying what's on their minds, there is occasionally the feeling that I am inevitably going to be called on the carpet because the characters manage to keep a big secret and omg that would never happen at Downton!

And I hate disappointing people.

[didnt-hear-idsb-live-again]

Bestie I feel like you're one of the few who would understand my dilemma. I am living in boston near where I grew up, and while I would miss my friends and family, I feel such a need to move away. This city is just full of demons, like ex friends and childhood trauma and life trauma. But it's so hard and scary to leave the place I've called home and built a life in for so long. How did you do it?

oooof if that ain't me with Boston specifically 💀

Do you remember how when Taylor switched from Big Machine to UMG and explained why, she specifically said she chose to bet on herself and on her future? That's how I've looked at it every time I've moved - it was especially how I looked at it when going to and leaving Australia, which is what I've struggled with the most. Like, yes I've built a lot here, and yes there's comfort in so much of it. But it's not serving me as much as some other place could, and I had to choose to bet on the future and chase something that'll be hard, and require a lot of startup work and a lot of struggle, but could ultimately end in me being happier and more fulfilled than I am right now. And the initial struggle that may happen as the result of a move really is the investment that you're doing in yourself.

I won't disagree with you that it's hard and it's scary - it took SO long for me to build up the strength to properly leave Massachusetts and never look back. But! You're strong bestie, and you can do it. I also very strongly believe that your life feels longer and more fulfilling the more different eras of it you live. My wonderful beautiful roommate in Queensland said to me when I was sad about leaving there, "the more you get older and the more life you live, the more you will realize that your life was made to call a hundred different places home. You're not leaving anything when you leave one, you're just making your life richer. And anyone can find a home in any place if they let themselves." Boston might be a home for you now, and it may have been for a long time, but that doesn't mean that there's not a place you'll love so much more, and more experiences to fill up your life with are waiting for you. I hope this helps a little. I wish you such good luck and I love you!

[skzdarlings]

Hey darling :D

I haven't sent my usual play-by-play rants this time XD That chapter was to be digested in silence fr🧘‍♀️

A 10k word count is no joke so firstly, thank you for deciding to share this story with the fam <3 I can't wrap my head around the fact that there was supposed to be more, but you opted to make it a different chapter

So, dearest darling, I just wanted to say:

Each fic you do, the thing I find most exciting is the creative ways you dodge using 'y/n'. Let me tell you, I live for it. Like with the bodyguard au you decide to describe how he talks to mc instead of just simply slapping 'y/n' onto the sentence and calling it a day... and that just does it for me.

For this specific chapter I love how you used Jisung's and Hyunie's characters. Han starting the chapter literally made me go :( Partially bc he doesn't know his besties sleep in the same bed and have been doing so for the past 4 years. I wonder if they ever tell him...

With Hyunjin, ugh the character developed queen you are. Especially the part where mc is making sure he eats that cupcake ("You eat! You eat!"~Han Jisung) Tbh this chapter is so angsty bc yet again I go 😔 Sure, mc's life is basically hell but she has Felix... Who does Hyunjin have? :(((( I'm worried about him, does he have anyone he can rely on? :(

I audibly yelled when Felix caught mc with her hand in her pants 💀💀💀💀💀💀 I CACKLED! It was so funny to me like why couldn't a homegirl think of doing it under the covers😭😭??? Or in another bathroom of that humongous house

This brings me to the humanness of the chapter. A moment of silence for your ever-impeccable use of imagery🙇‍♀️ They're just kids. They really are just a boy and a girl at the end of the day. When Felix leaned over to peck her forehead I genuinely stopped reading for a second. The way he handles her so gently (most of the time hehe), coupled with the way she was counting the seconds.... Like darling be fr😭 How will I ever move on from this fic? I loved every description of how she clung to him because she didn't really know how else to deal with what she's feeling. And for heaven's sake Felix, KISS HER ALREADY! I love how I'm saying this knowing he can't. Ooh which reminds me, i loved the part where you said that crossing that line would have to be intentional. No not-so-accidental hanky panky here hah. For all the cliches that are allowed to slide in fanfiction, I once again love how you simply refuse to be ordinary.

Lastly, onto the smut hehe ;) The tension was everything to me. The build up was superb. All the times he rushed to the bathroom 😭😭✋ My favourite part was when he asked mc if Hyunjin had kissed her. I know that part wasn't steamy but if I was mc that would have told me all I need to know ✋ Anyways, you ate up every fic and it's author's pet with that mutual mast******** I would've physically died. The way you described everything fbdhgfjfjtjidbm

Separate sub-point for this bc the way SHE PUT HER HAND IN HIS MOUTH

🕳️🤸‍♀️💨

Hands were everything in this fic. And the way neither of them could finish without having physical contact with each other.

PLEASE SEND AN AMBULANCE

P.s: the way all it took was a 'shh' from him. That was personal. I felt targeted.

Ok, the end😂 These asks always end up being so long no matter how hard I try😔❤️

😭😭😭😭😭😭 this message is amazing, i so appreciate the time you take to write such amazing commentary!! it absolutely makes my day, you have nooo idea! 💗💗💗💗 i feel like i am so bad at replying to comments and just keep saying thank you hahaha but truly thank you thank you. those things you touched on were highlights for me when writing and i love to see what most jumps out at people too as readers. also hehe yes 🤭 the hand in the mouth was A Moment

thank you so so much again. comments like this really get me excited to write more 😊💗💗

[candiedapplez]

I ask you all of the questions from that one reblog. Good luck/nf/j

Omg ok this will be a while then tehehehehehehhe im not complaining though!!!! Heres the questions so u can look at the questions and the answers!

1.this one is OBVIOUS!!! A-90 and Opheebop!!! DUUUUUUUH!

2.lighter. Ive never used a match before

3.ew no!!! I don't want buggies crawling in my room while im sleeping!!!! However i have before!

4. Aaaaaa ive never really gotten into that stuff so i cant really give an answer-

5. A really dark brown!!

6. Oops i did that again???

7. Well idk ive used both and they are both work really well! however i do think scrunchies are safer for your hair, i use normal hair ties more often because scrunchies are more bulky and yeah i dont prefer that, but both are great!

8. Six. I have six.

9.NONE! COFFE IS GROSS BLEEEEEEGH!!

10. Ofc!!

11. Does drawing count?

12. Good day!!!!! I havent cried yet so-

13. Not too long ago, like an hour ago actually. I had pizza! (Incase u were wondering)

14. HELL YEAH!!!

15. Nope and i never want to be 😗

16. NoooooOoOoO-

17. Nope i have perfect vision muah

18. I DONT WANNA SAY TEHE! (Sry)

19. Yea ofc!!! But they probably wont turn out good…

20. Soda…. Ive never seen or heard anyone say pop before….

21. Plushies!!!! I have a unicorn plush my old friend (we dont talk anymore since she moved) gave me for my 7th bday!!!! Yes i remember when, yes i still have it! And its in perferct condition!!! Also there was this one kid who ig had a crush on my and he gave me a basket full of stuff for valentines day and i still have said basket-

22. I have no clue what this means? I guess sensitive?

23. Love it!!!!!

24. Eating :] (and joking abt pushing each other off probably/JOKE/JOKE/JOKE/JOKE)

25. Aaaa i use all of them but i use lotion most so ig lotion?

26. Idk what to say for this one aaaaaagh

27. Like 5 i think? Ive been getting better with my sleep time!!!!

28. Not anymore, our school last year said we could take them off, however i was SO insecure about my face (still am, but not as much as before) so i would wear it every single day. If i showed up to school without one people got surprised. I stopped wearing them this year, however.

29. Hot????

30. THE FUCKING WATER BOTTLES!!!!

31. Theres a lot, i dont wanna get into it 😵‍💫

32…… is that a thing? People have favorite towels??

33. Hm my school took us on a field trip to a high school so we can see animals if that counts… (i have pictures btw if u wanna see them! We saw pigs, sheep, cows and bunny! I didnt take pic of bunny tho 😢)

34. LITERALLY EVERY SIX THE MUSICAL SONG HOLY SHIT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS (the only ones i might mess up on are aywd and idnyl bc aywd is long and i dont listen to idnyl often)

35. Pst!!

36. Only once! My username used to have a 0 between the words (Candied0applez) but i changed it bc it made it sound like i candied no apples… but i was originally going to be called caramelapplez but i thought candied sounded better heheh)

37. The friend i mentioned earlier i met first day of kindergarden, her name is Alana, and this other girl Maya i met before kinder! We met eachother at a park and when we walked home we found out we were neighbors so we instantly became besties! (We still are to this day but she lives 30 mins away so i dont see her often-(

38. All…?

39. Sometimes!

40. Ice cream!!!

41. Empty. Coffee is gross

42. Hahahah yt, roblox and occasionally twitter!

43. HAND IT OVER BITCH!

44. Myself/j fucking donald trump 🤮👈🖕

45. NO ☺️

46. Oh god i dont watch any 🫢

47. | v

this actually was to the other girl i mentioned earlier! Maya! I found baby pictures of us when we were in 2nd-3rd grade and i showed her today!!!

48. Never and i dont plan on ever!

49. Never tried

50. GO AHEAD I GET SO EXCITED WHEN IM TAGGED IN SOMETHING AAAAA!

omg that took forever!!! Gosh i dont mind though!!! These were fun questions! Aaaaaaaa i enjoyed that tyty!