#for all one of u who read these tags LOL
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forgot to tell u guys my unemployment era has ended
#got hired at a vet clinic by my house !!!!#i really like it so far i think im gonna get a lot of hands on experience#also decided i am going back for my masters before vet school#hoping to boost my GPA (and get more volunteer opportunities)#anyway yeah just a lil update#for all one of u who read these tags LOL#jess talks
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My Bg3 Party with the cutest barbarian and 3 pathetic guys.
#baldur's gate 3#karlach cliffgate#wyll ravengard#astarion ancunin#gale dekarios#boi I love them#pathetic is affectionate I swear#mostly#not when Gale fucks up his cantrips tho#bitch get ur magic right#Guess who Im playing as#WRONG! Im playing 4 diff campaigns ah-hah#as all 4 of them#well one is over lol#I love their interactions I can't help#they cute#and dumb#constantly recycling this party over and over#I love shart and lae too but for now Imma finish those 4#did u really read all these tags?#mycryptidart
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Happy Birthday King! 👑✨ May you have the sweetest and most entertaining dreams 🐥💜
Random Notes:
I think he would be so happy if he gets invited to Super Smash Bros lmao He's gonna have so much fun with his opponents.
I'm still amazed at how him being Disciplinary Committee Leader is so win-win for him. He loves his peace and quiet, so he'd be satisfied when no commotion happens for the day. But then he also loves fighting, so he'd gladly bite to death any fodder who does cause any commotion/does any crowding (it lowkey still does annoy him but still-- hahaha). It's reverse "damned if you do, damned if you don't"!
That panel with multiple Hibirds is them being able to sing the Namimori Middle School anthem in full, rather than only the first part. I remember reading somewhere that he had this problem where Hibird can't sing the full song skdjfbjhsvf
The panel with Kana - tried thinking of a dream that would give him the doki dokis. A death battle invitation would do the trick and a nice change of pace from the usual of hunting Kana down for sport. My monkeybrain.exe went oonga boonga after this thought. Wow, i love it when my fave khr canon chara and my fave khr oc beat the shit out of each other 🥰🥰🥰 So wholesome!
The one with the huge flying Hibird is based on this keychain LMAO
#khr#katekyo hitman reborn#hibari kyoya#khr reborn#kusakabe tetsuya#khre#khr oc#oc#ninomiya kanako#einart#i was gonna yap it all in the tags but then i realized#it's gonna be so long so i just put it under “keep reading” so it'll be easier to type and format for me lol#this piece is also me experimenting with how i want my webcomic colors to look like#i was planning on just finishing this wip comic i had b4 with him getting bamboozled but then#it's his bday so i held back LOL and i'll just save that one for another time#and start a new drawing#(i just realized i have a lot of wip comics with him on it)#(thats how u know who the favorite boy is hahaha)#einhighlights
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I'm kinda tired of dungeon meshi fans blatantly misinterpreting Kabru's goals, motivations, and character so they can ship him with Laios...like obviously it's awesome if you enjoy Laikabu but can you nooot twist Kabru's intentions for involving himself with the guy who constantly triggers his monster trauma and pisses him off so bad he gets brain damage so that he turns into "the guy who wants to suck Laios's dick" as his entire character? I've even seen people cut off Kabru's words to make it seem like he is admiring Laios because it would disrupt that narrative
#how can you think marcille hates laios and kabru wants to fuck him that's not.......canon.....#every time I see stuff of them it’s people being like 'oh kabru loves it so much when laios reminds him of his traumatic past'#be it his eyes/monsters/or the succubus thing 'he just HAS to fuck laios'#kui was noooooot intending for kabru to be lusting after that man!!!#i love laios but come ON why dont you actually care about KABRU tooooo#for l4bru to actually work one of them would have to suppress a big part of themselves and its ALWAYS on kabru it’s so insufferable#it's just like how some people misconstrued fem!toshiro blushing about laios to be her crushing on him when it was obv the same discomfort#but it made the microaggressions even worse because of the gender difference AS WELL as the culture difference#SIGH#i prommis ryoko kui did not create kabru so he can think about sucking laioss humungous donger all day fhsdkfhskjh#L4ikabu is the worst case I’ve seen of people twisting things for their ship because it’s literally just not true…#blatant misreading of the text goes crazy!!!!#like sure they're foils but what about the actual dynamic...w8 don't think about that actually cuz yoikes lol#obviously not threatening anyone who ships them please just stop saying it's canon oh my g#pwease actually read what kabru says he lays it out really clearly and has a super interesting backstory that drives his actions 🥲#i dont expect anyone to read this because im not using a tag but if u do then...🫢😯#i dont understand y ppl like it so much when laios ignores kabru so hard KABRU DESERVES BETTER#I’ve never felt like this about any ship before wow it just makes me 🫷
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i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,
if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."
i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,
i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ʘ‿ʘ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason
#crazy that the mindset some people on here have is that theyre the only ones allowed to post their opinions#ive repeated this a lot on this blog but i rlly think people forget that the person on the other side of the screen is in fact a person#if ur harassing people and publicly making fun of them then ur just as bad as any real life bully#that shit isnt as funny or harmless as u like to pretend it is#not once have i ever targetted anyone or went on someones blog to harass them over my opinion#yet people think its fine to do the same to me and treat it as if its like. revenge or something#like ? me saying 'i dont like toxic yaoi' is not equivalent to someone going on someone elses page and going 'how tf do u like toxic yaoi'#I DONT CARE !! all ive ever done is sit in my own little bubble and had opinions and that makes people mad#honestly though the people who will publicly talk and post abt it are significantly meaner#and i want to act like im not bothered by it because i know most of them r just angry that someone has a different opinion#and they want all their followers to bandwagon off of them (idk why maybe for validation or whatever-same reasons anyone would bully)#but seriously if u actually do think that something i said was out of line and crossed thise boundaries- just fucking tell me ?#im a person bro. ur solution to disagreeing with me shouldnt be 'lol im gonna post abt this and make everyone harass them'#have a conversation with me dude i dont bite ? if u cant talk to me like a person then just dont fucking say anything wtf#its so cowardly to be like 'well no i didnt wanna say anything to u cuz i didnt wanna be rude.. so instead i publicly made fun of u!'#LIKE WHATTTT STOPPPPP </3333#ok anyway this post wasnt supposed to get THAT serious.#MY POINT IS just be considerate of other people and dont base ur hatred off of assumptions#ur deflecting the blame onto someone else because u dont want to admit that ur just a fucking bully lol#being inconsiderate on here is something ive also been guilty of back when i first joined the fandom and was clueless#but grown ass adults who have been on here way longer r still doing that shit which is crazy#and i cant say anything because they have so much leverage over me and idk if its on purpose or if they dont even realize#ok im putting fandom tags cuz i want people to see this sorry. this is my one post thats actually targetted but its at a lot of people#so if u look at this and think 'hey i do that' pls evaluate urself<3#i mean its also targetted at everyone who does this anonomously so i dont know who it is OKOK IM DONE BYE SORRY HOPE THIS IS UNDERSTANDABLE#watch nobody read this fr#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#meows post
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I’ve been really thinking of reopening my art shop soon… I’ve been taking some practice doodles (hence all the posting lately) while I shake off my rust and I’m finding things I enjoy working on again. I miss trying my hand at more dragons/OCs and colors. my shop’s so broken rn lmao but that’s a problem for a later date it’s just nice getting back into art
#my mental health is starting to improve a bit#took a couple years but I found some meds that finally work better for me#ofc things aren’t 100% but I was really in a pit for a while#like ‘did not leave my house in months and slept 14 hours a day’ kind of pit#so. any improvement is better lol. but nah I’ve been making real improvement and im doing better. a lil shaky sometimes but that’s expected#diagnosed with chronic fatigue too. which is unfortunate but not unexpected. i am indeed god’s sleepiest soldier#i feel like a raisin slowly rehydrating but considering i was in a desert before any hydration is welcome#just learning how to enjoy things again overall#one thing I just couldn’t get myself to do (and enjoy) was art. doodles here and there but nothing to post#and it’s kind of funny because I feel like that downtime actually gave me a chance to think about what I wanted to work on#even when I wasn’t actively practicing#just paying attention to things I guess. enjoying art styles#i genuinely think my experimenting with stained is helping me learn colors#i spend hours in the scryshop im glad it’s paying off lmao#i want to tackle bigger things but i just gotta ease myself into the hang of things again#for now im having fun and that’s coooool. thank you all for your nice comments#i read all tags while kicking my feet and giggling. thank u all#that’s the update on Me tho. more to come hopefully#starting next month/julyish I will have a significant amount of time to dedicate to drawing which i intend on doing#so who knooowwwsss#rambles#funny enough coloring has become my favorite part of the process now. it used to be lineart. now lineart annoys me LOL#i also feel like i kinda lost my ability to write which has been frustrating but im focusing on art first#anyways that’s a whole different tangent rant over
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I did some Papercraft today 'cuz I saw someone else's Papercraft Miku and Teto and immediately wanted my own Negidrill to have on my desk at all times.
Link for Miku template
Link for Teto template
I didn't know a Neru one existed until AFTER I left the library (printed them out there 'cuz my at-home printer sucks) so I think I'll try to make Neru sometime to complete Triple Baka.
Link for Neru template (and many others)
THIS tutorial was super helpful for making Miku but Teto didn't have one. Therefore I messed up her drills a little at first but I'm just glad that she's complete and not a disaster, hahaha. xD
This is my first time making Papercraft characters and it's fun. Unfortunately Miku and Teto's heads easily fall off so there's no way I can do stop motion animation with them or anything or move them around too much, but I enjoyed this. They're cute. ^^
Their arms being outstretched like that was a total accident and how the paper itself wanted to bend, so I took the opportunity to make them touch hands lmao. They probably can't get any closer than that without dying (their heads falling off) though LOL. Idk what else to pose them doing but they'll definitely chill on my desk full-time I think.
Btw Mesmerizer Papercraft definitely exists and I even saw "Who Knows" Teto, and someone also made SV Teto. So if I'm motivated I might print those out and build them too. ^^ (You should try it. It takes like an hour or more per character and after the first time, it's straightforward to do.)
#papercraft#not tagging as my art since it's different from the usual#hatsune miku#kasane teto#not sure if i should tag as negidrill#i still have ideas to draw for them but i'll draw them later#if my mind lets me#very occupied with rl events and very mad at the us govt rn so#papercraft for now#for those who read all my tags this is lowkey the official 'canon' appearance for my Mikuteto AU charas#chimera Teto and android Miku i mean. they're based on the original canon appearances but#i think i'll take one or two traits that i associate with their later/newer versions#in particular i guess pj sk Miku wears white and I really like that color#(for the purpose of contrasting with Teto's black/dark gray)#also i usually see UTAU Teto as shorter than Miku in my head#but for the purposes of my story Teto might be the taller one#someone drew it that way and i really liked it so i'm 'canonizing' it in my head#if u have no idea what i'm talking abt dw. just my own fantasizing. idk how OFFICIAL official i'll make it like writing it in the story#i just personally think chimera genes might make Teto taller lol#aesthetically i like the image a lot so i might go through with it#anyway it makes me happy to have AU Mktt on my desk even if they're lacking the wings#i love and care them#(intentional grammar error)
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Happy Halloween Month, wish you were here!
Rip 😔 another soul(player) lost
(/lh)
Hello again! I do apologise to everyone for my absence; I have been going through a lot of real life things. I received your other ask inquiring about my well-being; sorry that I did not answer it, but I am well! I've finally got some semblance of a plan together for my life.
I've returned to university and finally figured out what path I want to take. I am a creative person, and touching other people with the stories I tell and the art I create is something I believe I was born to do. (Emphasis on the 'other people' part. My art is important to me because it is for others, and I enjoy fine-tuning my work to evoke specific emotions in those who view it.)
I have been busy with other projects, but October is my favorite month, and Halloween is my favorite holiday, so I'll likely be around, if not on this blog, then on my main blog or other sideblogs. I am keeping my main blog a secret, however; I enjoy the anonymity of this blog, and I enjoy the lack of bias it provides to my followers. To everyone here, I am just the Seer of Heart, and that's all I intend to be.
When Homestuck comes back around in my hyperfixation rotation, I'll return here and begin to post again, but I thought you all deserved an update. Thank you for your care <3
#ao pesterlog#((on the topic of aspects im going to take the front and ramble a little in the tags here#((im an osdd system which means i have multiple personalities (aka alters)#((and we've classpected some of our system friends - every alter has a different classpect!!! which is SUPER interesting to us#((it definitely means we contain multiple classpects as well. we're not all just the seer of heart. we have others too#((im pretty sure space is one of them but i dont know which of us it belongs to. i know who the seer in our system is and it isnt him#((me? im a life player hands down.#((the seer says i should stop introspecting in the tags lmfao. PEOPLE CONTAIN MULTITUDES!!! and we are people!!!#((regardless. we all find the seer's work really interesting so we all tend to participate a little bit here and there with his directions#((we love this blog and we really wanna get back to it! we've just been super busy </3#((anyways thanks for reading this if u did lol. go get urselves a cookie. and some water. that shits important <3
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*explodes* Yup I drew James again, I need more project meridian lore please im begging
Old drawing undercut! (because it's old and from 2 years ago)
This was made in 2022! I spent not a lot of time on it and it turned out looking kinda shitty- Kinda happy with the improvements but there's always more to come!
Bit of an update, i started listening to podcasts! All brainrot material- of i end up listening to all of them before i pass out or lose interest i will come back with fanart <3
#Istg one of my friends said he has the matpat pose????#I have anger issues if you cant tell#redacted asmr#redacted james#kiwikiwisketch#Sorry to my moots that actually follow for me for content and all they constantly see is how down bad i am for lore#istg i was gonna lose it#I was very lazy to do both pieces but very determined in both#can't wait for blake to bazinga this place up ngl#lol look who's reading the tags#jk luv u#kinda funny how a character that shows up so rarely has such a dedication to him#hats off to them tbh
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I'm being a rebel and requesting Ikesen Masamune and barefoot 💜
send me one and a character u__u
hurricane (prompt: barefoot)
masamune; 1,813; fluff and... that's it; @violettduchess is quite possibly one of the only ppl who can get me to write for a fandom that i had no plans in joining BUT HERE I AM FOLKS. here the fuCK i am.
he has always been a hurricane.
there are moments in a person’s life big enough for a single choice to put them on a completely different path, and then — there are those moments, much smaller moments, adding up to that one, bigger, monumental, life-changing moment. this is one of the latter.
the moon is heaven bright, swinging low in a full-bellied sky, and insomnia had plagued you till you’d come into the inner gardens for refuge. at least here, it felt like you were stuck between the pages of a waking dream. so… sleep-adjacent, right? right.
you swing your feet off the edge of the pristinely mopped wooden walkways, your sketchbook propped in your lap, a charcoal pencil gliding over the smooth, moon-bleached pages. you let your hand take the drawing where it wants, and these days, there’s only one place that your hand (and, subsequently the rest of your mind and body) seems to want to go.
masamune.
he appears as fish-tail flicks of your wrist bring him to life on the pages, each sketch fluid and overlapping with the next, almost like the depiction of dance — the crinkle at the edge of his eye, the curve of his hand as he rests it on the hilt of one of his blades, the strong, graceful slope of his shoulders and back, the crescent moon curve of his lips as he smiles, ever light, ever teasing, in your direction.
“ah… is that what i look like?”
his voice makes you jump, and even now after all this time, it sets your heart racing in your chest as you whirl around to find his nose inches from yours, that self-same smile hinged across his damnably gorgeous lips.
“w-wh — why aren’t you sleeping?” is your stumbling, cobbled together response to being jump-scared in the middle of his castle pagoda, but it’s the best you could come up with. he only leans back, chuckling, his arms tucked into the long thin sleeves of his kosode as he casts his eye up towards the full moon, his expression for once devoid if mischief or calculation. it’s strange, seeing him like this, so still and so quiet, and something about it makes you go still too, wondering if this is what its like to be caught in the eye of the storm, where the quiet is only ever momentary and destruction dances just beyond where your mind can reach.
“i could ask the same of you, kitten. so tell me… why aren’t you sleeping?” he grins as he joins you, propping one arm on a bent knee, watching as you gather yourself, palms pressing to the pages of your sketchbook.
“i… i couldn’t sleep.” you look down at your own knees, and it strikes you then that your feet are still bare. you can’t help glancing at masamune, and sure enough, his feet are bare too. no wonder i hadn’t heard him coming.
but something about this sets you off, the sight of his bare feet next to yours, and even though it shouldn’t be so tantalizing a thing — the flicker of bare flesh, the hint of skin unseen— you feel like one of those ancient victorian maidens, blushing at the sight of bare ankles.
you can’t help it; you start to laugh.
and masamune, sitting beside you, finds himself transfixed, held still by the sound of your laughter, pouring from you like rainwater from a stream. so clear and beautiful it sets his body arrack with shivers.
“what?” he asks, quirking an eyebrow, “is there something on my face?”
at this, you pause, stifling your giggles with a hand pressed to your lips, and you look at him. your eyes meet, and not for the first time, you feel yourself falling into them — into him. even like this, his one blue eye is something of a miracle, a thing of celestial majesty. it wasn’t until you’d met him that you’d realized what blue eyes look like up close — up close, they are the shattered light of a millions stars, fractured and reformed and singing through a universe of endless dark to end up here, shining out from him and landing on you, and god — he’s looking at you like all those million, billion years of starlight had traveled the expanse of every galaxy just to look at you.
just to see you like he does now.
“no… there isn’t,” you say, whisper, more like, reaching out a hand to trace your thumb over the lid of his closed eye. he doesn’t push you away. instead, he leans in closer.
“then, what’s so funny, kitten?”
you simply shake your head, trying to swallow down your belly-full of laughter, your mind showing you a strobe-quick flash-forward of you trying to explain the concept of foot kinks and websites that cater to such 500 years in the future before deciding — no. alas, tonight is not the night you try to educate one date masamune on the intricacies of body part kinks. though no doubt he’d take it in stride. no — that thought too, you tamp down before you’ve the mind to follow it down into a deep, dark rabbit hole from whence you might never recover or be recovered.
“tell me, please…” he grins, a grin that is simultaneously plea and pleasure, and in it, you can hear the knife-sharp promise of desire, “i’d like to know if something other than me has the power to make you laugh so much.”
“it’s just —” you bite your lips, fighting for the words, “we’re both barefoot.”
he blinks. and you can tell that whatever he was expecting the answer to be, this is clearly not it.
you track the flitter of emotions as they dance in quicksilver steps across the planes of his face — surprise, confusion, amusement, all painted porcelain perfect on the dark of his brows, the faint twitch of his lips. finally, he settles on a sorted of muted bemusement as he cocks his head at you.
“and… do people of your time tend to sleep with socks on?”
“no, it’s just…” you blush again, unable to help yourself.
“just what?” his voice is light, and he is still.
you swallow, hard,
“just… it’s weird — i mean — it’s not like i haven’t seen anyone else barefoot before just… this was — you’re just — and i —” you trip over your words in a hurry and end up tumbling through into incoherence so fast all you can do to styme the flood is to clamp your mouth shut and pray.
oh god please… tell me this is a bad dream.
but when you open your eyes, masamune is still there, watching you with that singular eye of his, expression inscrutable. and still, he doesn’t move.
“so…” and finally, finally, the stillness breaks — he cracks it open like an eggshell, stretching himself out as he leans back, propping himself up on his elbows, lengthening till he’s splayed out over the gleaming wooden boards of the walkway, his face bathed in ghostly moonlight.
“i’m not the first man you’ve seen barefoot, hm? that is a problem.”
your mouth drops open and for a moment, you gape at him wordless and fish-like, and he laughs as he turns to look at you.
“tell me his name — i’ll have his head in the morning,” he says, in a voice so casually serious that for a moment you think he might actually mean it.
“masamune!”
and then, he’s laughing too, a big, bright, uproarious thing that shakes his entire body like the foundations of the earth. it is deep and rich and lovely, warm and sweet as sun-kissed honey. you let yourself be swept up in his laughter, dropping into silent giggles, and then something louder, letting your shoulder bump into his, your bodies finally touching and then —
there’s a flurry of clothing, a shifting of weights. you find yourself pulled into him, tipping towards him like inevitability.
your sketchbook lays forgotten on the walkway next to you as masamune holds you close against his chest.
“ah… i really don’t like that…”
an entourage of tingles frissons through your body at his words.
“don’t like what?”
“the fact that you’ve seen someone else barefoot before. it bugs me.”
you peer up at him, lifting your head ever so slightly from his chest. he’s looking at you, and the sunrise-blue of his eyes are shadowed with something darker now, something decidedly less innocent than just the thought of bare feet.
“then… what will you do about it?” you ask, feeling the heat of his body, the solidness of him, the rightness of you between his arms.
“hm… are you teasing me, kitten?” his voice is gravel and earthquake and you’re emboldened by the sound, by the way his pupil dilates, the black hole at the center of every galaxy — gravity made solid, made real.
“yes,” you breathe, leaning up like a dare and he meets you gloriously, his lips hard and pressing and soft and pulling. there’s a fire unspooling at the base of your spine, stoked by the heat and truth of him, so close, too close — you break apart gasping. he grins, lynx-like and wolfish as he grazes his teeth along the column of your throat.
“good,” he says, sighing into your flesh as you arch up into him, your fingers curling into his hair as he flips the pair of you over. he pulls you beneath him and he is storm and thunder, he is rain and wonder — he is water to your desert skies, the sunlit days to all your moonless nights.
and as he makes to rend you into pleasure, into nothing more than ache and belonging, he pulls back with a bone-deep growl, a sliver of hesitation, of self-preservation.
“are… are you sure you want this?” that you want me? the echo is not lost on you.
and it’s not the first time he’s asked you the question, and you have a feeling that it wouldn’t be the last. but you reply as you had, once upon a time, in a distant, sun-drenched afternoon, when you’d been telling him about one of your favorite poems from your time.
you smile, tug him down for a kiss.
“yes,” you say, like you’d done on that long-ago afternoon, “i want you — i want this, masamune. because�� I love you.”
“i will love you when you are a still day… i will love you when you are a hurricane.”
#ikemen sengoku#ikesen#ikemen series#date masamune#ikemen sengoku x reader#ikesen masamune#date masamune x reader#ikemen sengoku imagines#ikemen sengoku headcanons#ikesen imagines#ikesen headcanons#floofy floof floof#OKAY but the feeling of tagging a REAL HISTORICAL FIGURE LFMAO#vi i blame u for all the bullshit im about to rain on this damn fandom LOL i havent played these games in YEARS i tell u#is this IC? IDK WHO KNO WHO CARE lol#i hope u liked it u_u#ALL CREDIT WHRE CREDIT IS DUE that last line comes from clementine von radics#i love her poetry pls go read it; this one comes from her collection called 'mouthful of forevers' its SO GOOD GO READ IT#doNT tease me with humans as metaphors for natural disasters man i will fucking GOBBLE that shit up#i love it almost as much as i love sky/star/sun/moon/ocean/general astronomy anaologies
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it's actually, genuinely, honestly hilarious that in a fandom where popular ships include characters who are biologically related, characters with a 10+ year age gap who met when one was a teenager or even a child, and characters who have tried to kill each other, people hate on a friends-to-lovers ship with a <2 year age gap where the characters have a deep emotional bond and plenty of romantic subtext, because "they're siblings". my brother in the force they are literally not.
#i'm just saying. out of all the ships in the star war; sabine and ezra have one of the healthiest dynamics#right up there with kanera and bail and breha and obitine and maybe a few others. there are SO few 'problems' with it.#not that those 'problems' make a ship BAD when it's written well or in certain context.#just that out of all the ships to pick on; people choose THIS one?????#the one with character growth and found family and mutual respect??#the one with self-sacrifice and decades-long loyalty and obitine parallels and a jetpack chase scene????#what's there to hate???#and i would add a disclaimer about how if you dont ship them its fine as long as you dont bully but honestly?#i am so so tired of having to qualify my statements.#this is about the targeted hate. this has always been about the targeted hate.#and i don't care if someone loathes something i love as long as they they keep that loathing out of my personal space.#this has been a tag rant. thank you for reading.#btw i'm not being sarcastic about it being hilarious. it genuinely cracks me up to see people get SO hateful over this#for a reason that does not exist#as opposed to several other ships which DO IN FACT HAVE THAT OBJECTION.#like. oh my gosh. are you even listening to yourselves.#if u wanna have the don't-ship-siblings fight then puhLEEZE bring it to someone who ships siblings.#jessica's controversial star wars opinions#sabezra#(don't worry that this post is a vent because i'm getting bullied or anything. im not visible enough for that i guess lol)#it was written in humor not in hurt :)
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You don't have to reply to this, but I am very happy to stumble across a non-problematic Youjo Senki fanpage. 💖
Thank you very much!! I'll continue to do my best!
#ask#anonymous#not a daily post#“ask sent 3 months ago” oops#sorry again ;;#im cleaning up inbox ok. or trying to#this is the last one tho i just. needed to express how much everyone being very kind means to me#confession: sometimes i kinda resent this blog for no good reason. its kinda tragic#suffice to say i regret taking on this project sometimes and i get in these downer ass moods#but like. i remember there are people who do actually like the silly time im having here#and it makes me feel better. so i need to express that. thank you. to the people who sent messages to me but also just like everyone lol#if these tags read as kinda corny im sorry but i just am in one of those sappy moods yknow and i need to share it#sorry i love u all. as if its my fault </3 /j#anyway see u all tmrw for dailydegu once more. itll be the last day of huevember!!#it uh. might be late bc im tired
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We did it Carla, you got avenged!
#playing replaying#I always start with the northern hunter she's the least problematic dragon of the game for me lol#now let's pray for ankh's liver for a moment#she doesn't drink like at all#but I had to do the following cutscene with bull to celebrate it because if you don't drink you don't deserve closure with your companion#when it comes to something relevant for the both of you#I know it's not too deep and I'm totally projecting but#I don't think it's fair? I should be able to listen to him talk and sip some tea or whatever instead of having alcohol#'u don't wanna celebrate with alcohol? you're no fun go away'#wasn't bull one of the most understanding characters in the game tho lol#I guess we're drawing the line when it comes to alcohol#sry to those who read my tags I just found out and I had to vent for a moment lol
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15 QUESTIONS FOR 15 FRIENDS
Tagged by @sherlockig, thank u Alexz!!
Under the cut bc I got wordy and rambly as per usual lol.
ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Kind of? In that I more or less named myself after Izzy from our flag lol. Not that I'm going to tell everyone I meet that, but it is a big part of why I stuck with it after trying it out (that, and I've always wanted a name that had the letter zed in it, silly as that may seem.)
One of my middle names (that I had been using as a first name for a few years) is after my grandfather and aunt who also have that name as their middle name.
My deadname was after an actress famous in the 90s (tho tbh my mum apparently didn't choose it for that, she chose it bc she didn't find out my gender until I was Out and then was like 'aw fuck I don't have a name for this situation' and went with the first one she saw in a book of names a nurse gave her. It was only after that she remembered the actress when I was like. 4. that she changed and started telling ppl it was after that instead.)
And technically Holden is after the book character, but mum never actually read that book (and after I described it to her, said she has no interest in doing so lmao), she just liked how the name sounded and that was the one solitary name she for sure had on hand when I was born apparently. Could have saved us all time had she just used that one for me anyway!
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Couple of nights ago. I'm doing better abt missing my cat Nisha, but my phone will toss up compilations of pics of her to mark the year/month/etc and sometimes those still get me. It popped up just before I went to bed that night and I was already so tired that I just. broke down. Bc I know she's v loved and looked after w/my mum, but I do miss her goofy lil self a lot. She was my first cat that was given to me and meant to be mine alone, and there's something abt that first pet bond I guess.
3. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Nope, and it's not a likely thing for me. I've said before that that happening would be in a very specific situation, wherein I'm with someone who wants to dedicate the rest of our lives to raising a child, or god forbid more than one, tho I think I'd max out at two if I managed one at all tbh (and that's not even getting into the very complex for me thing of would I want to actually be pregnant ever (probably not, absolutely terrified of dying in childbirth and don't see myself getting over that easily), we have the funds to make that happen (and give the kid a good life, not just a decent one or 'could have been worse' like my own), and we feel stable mentally, emotionally, and physically (as much as one can outside of Life Happening of course) bc having a kid means putting allll of that first for them, ahead of yourself. Or at least I think it should mean that lol.
But that situation is incredibly unlikely considering my bigger goal in life is to wind up being a third for multiple couples while also fucking any of my friends who are down for it in a big poly ENM sort of thing for lack of better/more detailed definition (I know it sounds unrealistic and maybe it is to a degree, almost definitely is lol.)
I can admit I just. don't want to uproot the life I've been trying so hard to build for myself in so many ways, to have kids. I'll happily help babysit the kids of any friends tho and be the fun uncle that buys them junk food and lets them stay up late to watch movies. I think that's about the level of parenting of any kind that I can handle for now (also tbh I burned out on parenting bc my family admits they parentified the fuck outta me with my three younger cousins. It by far could have been worse, but I spent my teens spending most of my days after school helping look after them from the newborn years and on. Unless my above uber specific scenario happens, then I've probably had my fill of parenting for my lifetime.)
4. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED?
I played volleyball for a few years in elementary school, and we were made to participate in a multi-school track and field thing for most of middle school every year, but I was never amazing at them. Housemate and I have figured out I likely have undiagnosed asthma tho (turns out running or going out in too cold or hot weather shouldn't instantly make you gasp, struggle to breathe, and make you taste iron in your mouth, who the fuck knew? Not me, genuinely) so I think that might have a lot to do with it.
I also enjoy tennis and badminton and would love to try rugby, but I've never played any of those beyond a hobby with family/friends.
5. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
I do! Probably too much and not always in the best situations, but I've been working for years to hone when and where it should be used so I think/hope I'm a lot better with it than I was when I was younger. Tho even then, I did get adults who found it funny when I was sarcastic bc of how adult I seemed to a lot of them (their words, not mine lmao.)
6. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
I genuinely don't know. Usually I'm too busy running my script for meeting new ppl in my head and trying to maintain Common and Expected Etiquette to really notice much right away. I have found that after a bit of time/after the initial meeting has passed, I tend to notice colours ppl wear more often than others if I see them often enough, or hair colour. But I don't know if it counts towards this question at that point lol.
7. WHAT'S YOUR EYE COLOUR?
Kinda blueish grey? Some ppl say it's too grey to be blue, others that it's too blue to be grey. I had a lady at the ND DOT freak out abt not being sure if I should have blue or grey on my ID a few years back, and she finally just told me to put blue so 'she could stop feeling so confused.' Was a weird day and the first time I realised apparently they really do have a blend of both colours, enough for it to be upsetting lmao.
8. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
I can't choose between the two; I like both! I also like mixing them together when I write (a scary story with a happy ending, an ending that seems happy but is actually terrifying, so on and so forth.)
9. ANY TALENTS?
Writing? Maybe, I always list it bc it's something I know how to do and to (usually) do decently well. I can sort of draw? But not well enough that I think 'talented' would be accurate to describe how I draw lol. I'm not sure of anything else off the top of my head tbh.
10. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
In California, USA! We were there bc dad was in basic training for the Marines and then just got stuck at Camp Pendleton for years lmao (or that's how he always talks abt it anyway lmao.) Only was actually there until either: a. I was 3 months old, b. I was 6 months old or c. I was actually basically still a fresh newborn. Depends on whether you're talking to my dad, mum, or grandparents as to which answer you get, and at this point I'm genuinely uncertain as to exactly when mum left and took me to North Dakota but 6 months seems the most potentially accurate lmaooo.
11. WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?
Writing, drawing, reading (not enough but I'm trying to remedy that), napping, watching movies/fave shows, and giffing.
12. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?
Kind of? My cat Nisha had to stay in North Dakota after I moved, so my mum and her bf are looking after her now (and got her a little sister, a kitten who is getting so big already!, named Bella.) I help Housemate look after aer two cats as well, and I'd like to think the boys consider me like their fun uncle lol (aka I bend over backwards for them and let them steal my spot on the couch all the time, and will break out the treats if needed to corral them now and then. In my defense: they are the cutest lil baby boy cats and they deserve the world, even when they're being little gremlins lmao.)
13. HOW TALL ARE YOU?
Approximately somewhere between 5'3 and 5'4ish? I can't recall the last time I was actually measured, and most of the ppl I've been around were somewhere between those heights and I'm usually either slightly shorter or slightly taller than some of them, so??? I put 5'3 on my ID tho lol
14. FAVOURITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?
English bc it was easy and I liked almost everything we did in that class. All my general and more specific history courses were a close second, and my foreign language classes a close third.
15. DREAM JOB?
Ideally, I'd love to not have to work. But who wouldn't, so that said, probably something in a library or museum. I'd love to be a library page again, or help work the front desk/docent duties of a museum. Working at someplace like Mystic Seaport would be amazing too; I'd be happy to learn how to help repair/repaint ships that come in or just help do tours or look after artifacts and stuff (tbh they could hire me just to type up any random data entry work they need done for any/all depts and I'd say yes to the job offer lol.) Unfortunately there's fairly significant roadblocks to me achieving any of these jobs rn, but I like to keep them in mind, just in case.
Also, if I can have one dream job that would be even more unlikely and is slightly TMI probably but: paid third for a rich couple. I show up, look nice, [redacted], make sure they're both good for the night, then go back home to Housemate (if it wouldn't be a night they'd want me to stay over, which I wouldn't be against but also. That would require some overtime pay lol.) The chances of this one are...so unlikely it's stupid funny, but a man's allowed to have dreams right lmao?
Tagging (if u guys wanna, no obligation if u don't wanna/have already been tagged/etc!!): @starmoonchildfromthebeamsabove, @freebooter4ever, @willowenigma, @turtleduck-tales, @mash1972, @mysteriouslybluepirate, @turtles-on-turts, @cononeillbreastingboobily, @treesofgreen, @dianetastesmetal, @arsenicflame, @gydima, @king-bussy, @p0ochy, @crvwly, and anyone else following me who wants to!
#text post#ask box things#or adjacent to that at least lol#long post#tagging w/that to be safe bc I am stoned and wordy rn#apolgoies for that and kudos if you read the whole thing lol#I admit im not sure who all has already been tagged so apologies if anyone i tagged has already done this recently fjlsadkfjsla#if u have or if ur just not feeling it pls don't feel obligated!#tbh this is one of the first times in awhile where I had more ppl i wanted to tag than the expected amount and i almost just tagged everyon#but then i was like. hm. ill do the expected fifteen and offer it up to anyone else too in case anyone else feels like doing this!#probably for the best since this post is already so long im so sorry u guys fjkalsfjdsklj
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Being self aware is literally hell I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy
#diary#god I could rant about about this forever#tw mentions of assault in the tags dont read if that makes u uncomfortable#im kinda getting tired of people asking why i dont date 🤩 it sends me into a mental spiral hahahaaaaa#i just tell people im not looking for anything serious rn but its a big fat fucking lie because i DO want to date#but i think my nervous system is so shot from living with my dad still and he can be so emotionally abusive it's insane#it makes me not trust my judgement because shitty behavior is so normalized and i KNOW whats Right and Wrong but im so used to keeping the–#–peace because its a survival tactic for me and always has been#like when people like me i think one of two things usually:#1) they're genuinely interested in me and i hate myself so much i cant understand why anyone would like me#or 2) theyre interested in me for my body which is both easier to understand and terrifying because people in the past have hurt me because–#–they wanted to be with me. read between the lines for that one#because of how i grew up and what I've experienced i genuinely do not trust people. i trust no one fully and it kills me#i feel so fucking guilty all the time bc most people arent out to get you but that wasn't the case for me#i feel like i cant grow as a person because im stuck in a survival mindset. i KNOW why I people please and i hate it#i genuinely do love people and i want the best for them but its also ingrained into my head that if something is wrong it's My Fault#and there will be Consequences#back to dating though#there are so many reasons I do and dont want to date#i call myself a Helpless Romantic because there's no way I'll be dating in the near future. i cant just go on dates I have to know you for–#–a while and build trust. but what if it ends badly and im the idiot who cant take a goddamn hint and realise love isnt meant for someone–#–like me?#i grew up knowing my parents hated each other and “stayed together for the kids” whatever thet means. like that fucks with your mind#seeing my mom being mistreated by my dad made me snap out of the disney movie princess x prince charming daze everyone else was in as a kid#i realised very early on that relationships won't save you and can actually be the worst thing to ever happen to someone#theres more to this but ive already said enough lol. anyway
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seems like my heart does nothing but break lately
#oh my god dont read the tags. it breaks for everyone :( but on a more personal level#for my gf whos sinking deeper into something n i cant even help bc im a wreck myself but i am so so scared to lose her#still havent even been able to book a psych appointment n i rlly dont know where to go with all these ..em*tions#Guys i rlly dont understand one thing. how come one random freak whos in ur life at some point can derail a whole person like eons later#jeopardise their whole future just by crossing some lines for funz i really dont understand this#not fair not fair at all this is evil#and becasue u got unlucky someone wanted to be disgusting u have to carry the consequences#i rly still cant even say it i still cant even write it#i dont even know how . irl the only perosn i told in some capacity#is dealing with her own trauma and i hate that jsut being understanding is not enoughlike#Wow Lmao Its just Funny How it Shapes You. & U Can Never bury it forever becuz it will always catch up to you😂😂😂😂😂😂#AND THE PAST CAN NEVER BE ERASED 😃😃😁😁😂😂😂🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔪🔪#at least my gf has been taking steps to deal with it for.3 yrs and i just never even#LOL i feel like such a coward but the sh*me and the g**lt associated with the Thing..r so overwhelming i cant even admit it#what would i even do at the psych appointment like straight up what am i gonna say Lol#hai iam here to process something i dont actually remember probably becasue i was a child but imnot sure. n id rather#kms than tell u how i know 😂. So thats also why my heart breaks. for that little girl who was a ball of shame i guess and no matter#how much i cognitively.like rationally know its not my fault the ball of shame n guilt is still there#n it swallows me every time i vaguely start 2 think about acknowledging the Th*ng#or whatever. And thats just my end of the deal but my gf has it worse genuinely bc she remembers everything n still has to see the freak#n it went on for yrs n her family doesnt know n heres the worst thing hes a beloved family member a sweet boy with struggles of his own#well i hope he walks into traffic for doing what he did to her
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