#for a rewrite that will stay forever in head and constantly changes by the day

[erionlextib]

Travis HCs because he deserves them:

• Ain’t no way he isn’t younger than the rest of the group (except Vylad, because dead people don’t really age per say), he gives me the vibes. Perhaps like 18-19 or something

• He wears a mini pony tail to keep his hair out of his face when he’s fighting and what not (or just in general because he finds it quite annoying)

•he has a few freckles..? (not like many, there’s like 6 or 7 in total)

•dimples (that I don’t know how to draw)

•He lives in the tree house along with Vylad and Laurance. Aaron sleeps either at his little set up camp, or sometimes at the tree house when the weather gets rough. (A big ass tree makes for a big ass house)

Travis does eventually get his own place, although it’s on the island. he also claims the little cave on the mountain as his own

• He can shapeshift (cuz witchcraft + demon abilities and whatnot, plus if the imps and his dad can shapeshift, so can he ), but not extended periods of time. He’s a) not very good at witchcraft and b) part human so he struggles a bit more w/ that stuff

It doesn’t really bother him all that much before the rest of the cast scoops him up, as he (canonically) lives in an isolated cabin, in the mountains, away from any sort of civilization (the closest being the town, which just about hates him and still isn’t all that close). Who the hell does he need to look human for? The snow? The trees?

He mainly uses his human form only to sneak in and out of the village to get foods he can’t find in the forest (fruits and vegetables imported from warmer regions, meats when he can’t catch anything) and his (fully) demon form when fighting mainly his dad and his dad’s imps (just to look a little more intimidating)

• When he becomes part of the group though, he becomes kind of insecure; he fears rejection and is scared that if they see what he actually looks like they’ll change their minds on him and hate or hurt him and he’ll be all alone again.

This leads to him pushing his limits and often hiding away whenever he needs a moment to regain his strength. Until the moment w/ the Demon Warlock on the new island, only Aph knows. When she found him (Enki Island), he wasn’t expecting to find a human so far away from the village. Took him a while (most likely longer than in canon) to believe that she wasn’t his father or one of his imps, to which he changed to his human form and apologized profusely when he realized.

• His human form is mostly made up by him in an attempt to look more like his mom. Like in Canon, he has a couple different forms, but his “natural” forms are mixes between a human and a demon. They just kinda change every once in a while depending on his environment, health, ect. *, so he never really looks quite the same. Both his human and demon forms (as well as any other form e.g animals, other people, ect.) are forms he physically has to shift into/require and use up energy to be in

*e.g climate/weather may determine some aspects like horn size and skin color; dark energy/vibes (like those around the nether, or his father) or high stress situations makes him (his natural form) look a little more demonic as his body reacts to the energy around him, while he looks a little more human in relaxed, light hearted situations where he doesn’t feel in danger or when there is overall good energy/vibes (like the energy Aph emits when she heals stuff) and that sort of stuff

Like a defense mechanism (kinda like how some animals try to make themselves bigger in the face of a threat)

• Canon was wrong, he is not.. like that.. no. His mom taught him better than that. He respects women very much.

•He’s socially awkward, and definitely comes off as a little weird and blunt and overall just a little off. (He’s really sweet, just not smooth with his delivery)

• His mom was a really big inspiration for him growing up and he really strives to be like her and he’s deathly afraid of becoming like his father (canon I’m pretty sure, but thought to include it anyway)

• He’s really good friends with Vylad and Aaron; they are like partners in crime, and bond over not being very good with words/social interactions.

When Aaron died and Vylad went off with Laurance to the nether, Travis felt at just about his worst in a long while. He would barely go out (specifically after Aaron’s death, but got worse after Vylad and Laurance’s disappearance), often staying in his room for a few days on end until Katelyn and Luci would drag him out to get some fresh air and get his mind off things. Sometimes they also went with Aph as she was in a similar boat. Travis got closer to Katelyn and Luci during this time. He also started hanging out more with Aph so that neither of them would feel so alone (*coughcoughnotalonebuddiescoughcough*)

•He steps outside and within 10 minutes he is sun burnt and on the verge of a heat stroke /hj

He can be outside for short periods of time before getting some symptoms of heat exhaustion (the amount of time he is able to be outside lengthens the longer he stays in Ru’aun as he starts to adapt to the climate)

When he first got there he was not vibing. Like At all.

He protects his skin a lot, so he gets less sunburns

•Since there is no such thing as AC in this era, as a welcoming gift, Luci took it upon herself to put a spell on Travis’s room so that it would stay colder (aka it’s like a freezer now), so he actually gets sleep at night. Vylad and Laurance like to hang out there when it’s too hot out during the day, although it gets too cold for their liking after a while

Anywayyyyy

Here’s also a small drawing of him I made to try out a new stylus that inspired this entire post

[mamashenanigans]

October is almost upon us and I’m planning out my contributions for One for All October!

Thoughts?

#1. Halloween one-shot: Yoichi and his brother live alone and have since as long as he can remember. His brother was a hard working man that had climbed up through the ranks and was able to afford them a nice house in the mountains. Yoichi always believed his brother was too overprotective and he “loved too much”, his greed culminating in his possessiveness over his own kin, but as a sickly young man, it was something the younger had accepted as his reality. After a terrible, sudden blizzard traps the two brothers in their mountain side home for over a week, and their food running low, AFO decides to attempt to trek out to the nearest home to see if they have any provisions. He tasks Yoichi with continuing to call for help through the radio or whenever the cell signal returns. Yoichi waits dutifully, but anxious, over his brother’s return. The cell signal is sporadic and, for only a moment, he is able to speak to someone about their predicament before it is cut off. After staying up all night, he falls asleep only to awaken near nightfall the next day. His brother finally returns, but is changed. His greed has turned into gluttony, but no matter how much he eats, he complains of an insatiable hunger. It comes to a head when the person Yoichi had gotten ahold of arrives and is killed and devoured by his older brother. AFO has turned into a Wendigo and Yoichi is able to lock him in a room. Now Yoichi has to decide if he should kill the beast his brother has turned into…or if he’d rather he be alive…regardless of the costs.

For the Halloween story, I am researching the Wendigo folklore of the Algonquin-speaking peoples of North America for this one-shot. I will not be doing the “Hollywood” idea of Wendigo, though I have to admit the whole “locking AFO up” is loosely inspired by a plot point in the movie “Antlers”. I suppose this one-shot could be considered a “reverse vaulting” prompt. I especially like this quote from Marlene Goldman’s ‘Rewriting Apocalypse in Canadian Fiction’(2005):

“The wendigo is seen as the embodiment of gluttony, greed, and excess: never satisfied after killing and consuming one person, they are constantly searching for new victims.”

The backdrop for the story represents the Wendigo typically being associated with the cold, winter, the North, famine and starvation.

Plus, I had a comment on ‘Alternatives’ asking for a cannibalism universe and I felt that if I was going to do it, it would probably be better in a separate one-shot.

#2. Modern Vaulting but there’s no Vault: Yoichi has always been the weaker, sickly little brother. He was too young to remember it, but his older brother would often remind him of how their mother, dying from an accident, begged AFO to always take care of his baby brother--no matter what. At 15 years old, Yoichi is finally blessed with being able to stay home alone, although for only a short time, when his brother and his girlfriend, Inko, decide to go out for their Anniversary. The occasion had another purpose, Inko reveals she is pregnant. Although at first perturbed that his brother wasn’t giving him regular text updates, AFO is obviously distracted—until they finally arrive home to find Yoichi unresponsive. After dying twice in the hospital and being revived: Yoichi slowly recovers, but his brother never does. Now, it’s 15 years later and Yoichi is about to turn 30 with a 14 year old nephew. Yoichi has grown up believing his older brother’s over protectiveness as “normal” and is excited when he is finally allowed to stay home alone for the first time in forever, but with his nephew in tow. What he doesn’t realize is that he isn’t babysitting his nephew, it’s the reverse. Upon overhearing a conversation and finding this out, Yoichi finally has the opportunity to start the teenage rebellion he never had against his older brother, but he doesn’t realize how obsessive his brother has become with both him and the idea of “order”. There’s no real vault here: only the unbreakable vault of will and arms of his older brother smothering Yoichi for 30 years.

This one is going to be weird and angsty and weird. Modern and no Quirks, but AFO is just as platonic-yandere as ever, but even more-so given the circumstances. Although Yoichi has to deal with his physical illness, he has no clue his brother has been battling a mental illness, made stronger and more apparent after almost losing his little brother. AFO becomes obsessed with Order and that things have to always be done a certain way. He needs ritual in his life or else he will snap. There’s going to be a lot of ridiculously creepy stuff that poor Izuku gets roped into including AFO’s daily, and multiple times in a day, checking of his brother’s vitals which he has written down in textbooks for YEARS so he can “compare”. Yup. I’ve thought up a real creeptacular doozy. Hell, who am I kidding?! This is Halloween material too!

#3. Stepford Brother: This is honestly just a plot bunny at this point and will only be written for the event if I have time. The idea is that Yoichi grew up in the overbearing care of his possessive older brother. That is until Yoichi finally is able to attend college as his major requires him to be on campus more often than not much to AFO’s chagrin. There, he makes friends with two other young men: the 2nd and 3rd users. They can tell that the relationship between the two brother’s is codependent and unhealthy. Their reasoning starts to get through to Yoichi, but the younger brother has been so programmed by his older brother that he can’t quite shake it off. Yoichi doesn’t attend classes for a week and his friends are unable to make contact during that time. That is until Yoichi suddenly starts to communicate back to them…but something is off. They finally decide to march up to the Shigaraki brothers’ home…only to discover that Yoichi…isn’t the same as he once was.

Stepford comes from “Stepford Wife” which is a term inspired by the story and films called “The Stepford Wives”. In the stories, once independent minded, strong women suddenly become docile and ���perfect housewives” for their upper middle class husbands. It’s revealed that they were being replaced by robots. In this story, Yoichi is not being replaced by a robot, but is instead being brainwashed, possibly by a Quirk, that his older brother has acquired, to make him the “perfect little brother”.

Welp, those are my three story ideas for One for All October! Let me know what you think!

[cryingoverafictionalcharacter]

Pinky Promise

Summary: Fred and Y/N have been rivals for a while, but no matter if it was pranks, or quidditch or something else, they always had their limits to not hurt the other. In fact, for the past few months Y/N and Fred have been growing closer, and even developing feelings for each other, but everything changes when one of Fred's pranks go to far, and he needs to find a way to fix it to save their relationship.

Warnings: Swearing, Fred being kind of a dick, Reader getting angry, confrontation, some angst, kind of a lot of angst actually, ends in major fluff though, also humor because I may not not how to spell but I’m hilarious.

Word count: 2.7K

A/N: comin at cha with ANOTHER ENEMIES TO LOVERS FRED WEALSEY FIC??? Why am I so uncreative? Idk, anyways I hope you enjoy!

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You were beyond furious. You didn’t think there was a strong enough word to describe how angry you were, and you were pretty sure if you were any angrier steam would be coming out of your ears. And the reason for all this anger you may ask?

Fred Fucking Weasley

You stormed through the hallway, heading straight to the dining hall. It was late, and you barely anybody would be in there, but you knew he would be. 

You stopped in the doorway, scanning over the tables until your eyes landed on a familiar mop of red hair. Locking your eyes on your target, you stomped over, clutching your bag tightly in your right hand.

“Oh shit- what did you do this time?” You heard Lee whisper to Fred, as you got closer, but you paid him no mind, eyes locking with Fred’s, who had that same stupid smirk that he always did. It made your blood boil.

“Good evening love, how’s your night going?” Fred asked nonchalantly, as if you were friends and not life long enemies.

“I have to say, it was going quite well, until I found this” You seethed, slamming your bag onto the table in front of him. “Say, does this bag look familiar to you?”

“Nope, can’t say it does” Fred shrugged, but the glimmer in his eye said differently.

“Really? Why don’t you take a closer look” You insisted, grabbing the bag off the table, flipping open the top, and flipping it upside-down, causing an eruption of water to fall from the mouth of the bag.

The water continued for what felt like forever, pieces of paper and pens falling out with it as the contents emptied out onto the floor, soaking yours and Fred’s shoes, but neither of you made a move.

After the water had finally stopped, you threw the bag into his lap, causing him to look down at it, a thoughtful hand on his chin.

“You know, now that I’m looking more closely at it, it does look a bit familiar” He said simply, and judging by the nervous looks on George, and Lee’s face when they saw you, you for sure had steam coming out of your ears now, but you kept your composure.

“Oh, well that’s good. You see, I’m trying to solve a bit of a mystery of who could have done this. Would you have any ideas?” You asked, crossing your arms in front of you.

By now, most of the cafeteria had cleared out. They have seen you and Fred get into heated arguments before. But this was different.

This was going to be fatal.

“No clue, but I have to say whoever thought of it is a bloody genius” He complimented, giving you a grin.

“Genius you say? So you think, flooding my one bag, and ruining all my homework, as well as my ten page essay that I’ve been working on all month, that’s due tomorrow... is Genius?” You asked, the calmness in your voice adding a coldness to the room that shot straight to everyone's bones.

And judging by the now terrified face Fred wore, he was feeling the effects of your voice as well.

“Oh, I see there's been a mix up, I’m actually George-”

“You are fucking not! Don't get me caught up in this” George interrupted, standing along with Lee to flee the scene 

“So sorry about him, Y/N, he can’t be helped. Try not to go to hard on him-” Lee started, but a quick glance his way shut him up instantly “Actually on second thought, do what you see fit, see ya Fred”

With that, George and Lee practically sprinted out of the dining hall, leaving you standing over Fred, who suddenly felt very small.

“I swear, I had no idea your essay was in there, if I had known I wouldn’t have-” Fred started apologizing, but was quickly cut off when your hand slammed down on the table beside you.

“You see Fred” You said, taking a seat on the bench next to him. “I think you did know. We’re in the same class, you’ve seen me working my ass off trying to get this essay done, and you’ve even asked for my notes, which I refused because of this kind of shit you pull” 

Fred swallowed thickly, his heart beating out of his chest at your anger. He had seen you angry before, and he’s been cross with you a few times as well, but those died down fairly quickly, and most of the time there weren't to many hard feelings. And you were right, he had seen you working on that essay, both in class, and at two in the morning in the library.

“Now” You continued “We’ve had out little quarrels in the past, you prank me, I prank you, you hit me with a quaffle at quidditch, I hit one back at you, nothing too serious. But this” She paused, picking a sopping wet pile of papers off the floor, and plopping it in front of him “Is really really fucking low. Did you know, I was already failing this class?”

The question put Fred on the spot, and he felt his heart sink to his stomach. He had always known you to be extremely smart and quick minded, so to hear you weren't doing so well in that class came as a surprise.

“Yeah, I’m failing because, fun fact, I’m fucking exhausted. I’m staying up till three in the morning every night, trying to get caught up in classes. I’m writing back and forward to my family constantly because they’re going through financial problems again, Umbridge is constantly writing me up for no reason, and on top of all of that, I still need to be worried about this” 

Your voice was beginning to shake a bit, and you both knew you were about to cry, but you were determined to keep the tears in until you were done. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction.

“So... Fred, consider this little rival, or fight, or whatever the fuck this is, over. I’m done, you win, just please, for the love of fuck, leave me alone” 

With that, you stood up and left the dining hall, quickly wiping the stay tear that snuck out on your way. All the while, Fred sat in shocked silence. He had always seen your little back and forwards as friendly competition, and had even thought they were a bit flirty at times. In fact, you two had been getting a bit closer these last few months, and had even started hanging out as friends. But now, he had royally fucked that up, and he needed to fix it.

The next day, you were exhausted. You had spent a lot of the night crying, which you hated but all the pent up emotions just came flooding out. Yes, you were absolutely pissed at Fred, but most of all, you were hurt. In the last few months, you’re arguments had died down a bit, and you found yourselves hanging out from time to time, always accidentally, but you enjoyed his company none the less.

You had even begun to like him a bit, maybe even more than a friend. He was nice, and charming, and wicked funny, and always tried to make you smile, but now, after seeing how careless, and almost mean he had been, you knew you needed to shove those feelings down. So you did. 

Your first class was potions, which of course you had with Fred. He sat behind you, and for a while, he made the class bearable, passing notes back and forward. But now you were absolutely dreading it.

Fred was sat in his usual seat, waiting for you to walk in. He had come in early, hoping to get the chance to talk to you, but when you walked in just as class began, he knew he would need to try a different approach.

Not even five minutes into the class, you felt a piece of paper land beside your elbow on your desk. You looked down, finding a folded up piece of paper, which you immediately knew was Fred's.

You could feel his eyes burning holes in the back of your head, but instead of turning around, you simply flicked the paper off your desk, returning your gaze to the chalkboard. A few minutes later, another piece of paper, this time on top of your notebook. Again, you flicked it off. 

Finally, five pieces of paper later, you smacked your quill down and picked up the newest piece of paper from your desk, unfolding it and looking it over, Fred watching you closely as you did

Can we please talk? I’m sorry

You finally turned around to meet the boys gaze, his eyes instantly lighting up at the change, but his spirits quickly fell when he saw your face, not angry, or frustrated, but sad.

You had had enough, facing the boy, you placed the paper back onto his own desk right as the professor dismissed the class, quickly slipping out of the room before Fred could follow you.

You avoided him like the plague the rest of the day. You didn’t have many other classes with him, and the ones you did share you made sure to find an empty seat far away from him, you even skipped lunch, choosing instead to read in your next class. 

You even skipped the class where your essay was due, not wanting to show up and hand over nothing, you decided to spend the rest of the day alone, and try to redo your assignment, even if you now only had a day to do it.

Fred only saw you again after class by the forbidden forest. He had found you pretty easily, you weren’t in any of your usual spots, so he knew this would be the next best spot to check. As he approached you, he found you had changed out of your uniform and were now in some joggers and a sweatshirt, sitting with your back against a rock as you scribbled in the notebook in front of you.

You chewed your lip as you tried to rewrite your essay, looking to your textbook and back every few second, before messing up on a word. Frustrated, you scribbled out the paragraph you had been working on and threw your notebook and quill to the side, resting your elbows on your knees as you held your head in your hands.

You quickly snapped out of it though when someone behind you cleared their throat, getting your attention and making you jump out of your skin. Panic surged through you, expecting a teacher, or worse, Umbridge, but the fear was soon replaced by irritation when you made eye contact with none other than the very red head you had spent all day trying to avoid.

“What do you want Fred?” You asked, turning back to face the forbidden forest, away from him. 

He didn’t answer, instead you were met with the sound of grass shuffling beneath his feet as he got closer, taking a seat before holding something out to you, causing you to look over at him.

It was your bag from yesterday, but now completely fixed and dry. It looked like brand new. 

You took the bag from him and looked it over, going over the seams and the straps before finally opening it, finding your notebooks, pens, and homework assignments all neatly tucked inside.

“How did you- When did-” you rambled trying to find the words and you shuffled through your belongings, finding them all intact and dry before finally turning to look at him “Why did you do this for me?”

Fred wasn’t expecting that question, but he still answered, looking down at the grass.

“I felt really bad after yesterday, and not just because of that stuff you... anyway, I know I went too far, and I shouldn't have done it in the first place, but I wanted to have a reason to talk to you I guess, and I did it in the worst way possible, and I wanted to make it up to you. I’m sorry”

You looked at him, before turning back to the bag, noticing there was something missing, but before you could say anything Fred continued.

“I was also able to save your essay, it took a while but it was all there. I was going to give it to you in class, but you didn’t show up so I turned it in for you and said you were sick. I got to read some of it by the way, its really good and I would be surprised if you-”

Fred was cut off by you moving your bag to the side and turning to face him, wrapping your arms around him to pull him into a hug. 

Fred was too shocked to move for a second, but quickly found himself returning the embrace, wrapping his arms around your waist and hugging you closer. You sat like that for a minute, your face buried in his neck as a thousand emotions flooded over you. Finally, you pulled away, looking him in the eye.

“I’m not saying I’m not entirely grateful” you started “But you could have just come and talked to me, why did you feel you needed to do that to talk to me?”

At this, Fred’s face began to heat up a bit and he looked back down, fiddling with the grass. He was hoping to fix your friendship and move on, maybe one day growing to be something more, but now he was faced with the choice to tell you his feelings, or lie, and he didn’t want to deny it anymore.

“We’ve always had our little competitions and stuff, ever since we were kids, and for a while we really hated each other. But then, these last few months I got to know you a lot more, and I always knew you were funny, but you’ve got a wicked sense of humor, and you’re super smart, and are always helping people, and you’re always kind to everyone you meet, and I thought I might have had a crush or something. And I didn’t really know how to interact with you in a not competition way, and I didn’t want to freak you out, but after the bag, seeing how it hurt you, it broke me. And I realized that I liked you a lot more than I thought I did”

Fred looked up at you, waiting for your reaction. Were you angry, upset, happy? Your face wasn’t giving him any signs, but then, a small smile crept to your lips, and despite how hard you tried to fight it.

You laughed.

“I’m sorry” You started, trying to fight the laughter bubbling in your chest “I’m not laughing at you, I’m not, it’s just-” Another laugh. “God were just a bunch of idiots aren't we?”

Fred was looking at you like you’d gone crazy

“What do you mean?”

“I like you too dumb ass” You confessed.

“You... oh... Oh!” Fred exclaimed, finally putting the pieces together. “Wow, I really fucked up didn’t I”

“Oh for sure” you nodded, causing Fred to let out a groan, shaking his head before looking back to you, a smile on his face.

Without thinking, you leaned forward, closing the rest of the space between you and pressing your lips to his. Fred returned the action, bringing a hand to the back of your neck to pull you in closer, deepening the kiss.

After a few seconds, you both pulled away, each with goofy smiles on your faces.

“Does this mean I’m forgiven?” Fred asked.

“Only if you promise to never do it again” you said

“Deal” Fred answered quickly, holding out his pinky to you, which you wrapped your own pinky around, shaking on the agreement.

“Wow a pinky promise, that's some hard core shit” You joked in a serious tone.

“Hey, if it means I get to spend more time with you, I’d pinky promise to anything” Fred replied, to which you gave him a feigned shocked expression.

“Anything?! Aww, you like me like me” you teased, laughing as Fred playfully pushed your shoulder.

“Shut up you like me like me too” Fred argued

“That is true” you nodded, before smiling and grabbing the front of his shirt, pulling him into another kiss, smiling as he pulled you even closer.

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A/N: Heeey, so I was hit with the biggest surge of motivation today and I literally got two weeks of homework done, deep clean my room, and wrote this, so if I go dark for a few months its probably because I’ve used my adrenaline budget for the year lol.

But seriously, I know this fic gets a bit... deep ig? Idk, I’ve been going through it recently and I wanted some angst that would actually reflect how I would react in that situation if you know what I mean? Like I see a long of angsts where the love interest does something really mean, but a simple apology solves everything and yeah. No hate if that’s your writing style, its just not my thing, and I wanted to express my emotions through here, because nobody directly fucked up an entire month of my work but it certainly feels that way sometimes.

Anyways, rant over, I hope you enjoyed! Feel free to leave any feedback or recommendations you may have.

[dirtycccat]

things that remind you of them w the demon bros+ (un)dateables

highkey tw for some unhealthy behaviors and uhhhhh maybe sensitive stuff idk just keep that in mind

lucifer

an impromptu orchestra concert in an abandoned church. a forgotten off key piano found at the back of an antique shop. tradition worth more than luxury. 

the crackling of fire. glittering glasses of wine. changing a vinyl with naked hands, brushing the dust off its hard body. a cold hand touching  the back of your neck in passing. whispered words of affection in the ear of your sleeping beloved.

running on air. falling with your lungs full of fire. trying to rebel against fate, against the inevitable moment the ground will break your bones for trying to cheat the laws of nature and its gods.

the heavy weight of perfection bending you backwards. counting down the moments until it will finally break you. measuring your worth in work, in being good at, in being useful, in being needed.

sticking up with family, with rules, with loyalty despite your own desires. acting like you’re the first but always putting yourself second. 

being afraid to dare to be selfish and to love. being scared of your own devouring passions. waiting for your beloved to take the first step and running the whole way to finally meet them.

mammon

the fluttering of wings in the silence of a white september afternoon. a sea of crows watching your every move from atop a nearby building. finding a black feather on the ground and keeping it in your pocket for good luck.

the friction between leather seats and leather jackets. heavy cologne mixed with the scent of sweat and leather. the purr of a motor. finding a half empty pack of cigarettes in the pocket of your old jacket.

winning second place so many times you’ve given up on first. still dreaming of clawing your way onto the top of the podium sometimes. 

the heavy burden of capitalism of having your worth monetized. having to constantly show the word you’re worth something. selling your soul for value. 

wanting everything you could never have before. overspending, oversharing, overwhelming. being too much but also never enough. 

finally being someone’s number one. strong arms holding you while you cry. a reassuring presence, a constant in your life 

leviathan

imposter syndrome. feeling like you’ll never fit in, like you’ll never be good enough.

replacing real life with dreams. looking at life from the outside. living inside your head.

playing games until 3 am on a school/work night. letting your passions consume you. still feeling guilty of not doing anything measured in money or public approval. calling all your hobbies guilty pleasures because you still care about what others think despite appearances.

finding comfort in the solace of the ocean. sitting at the bottom of the pool holding in your breath and your tears. crying in the shower. letting the water wash you clean and reborn. 

letting someone in. being accepted for what you are and the little you can offer. vast depths hidden by shallow waters.

satan

rage. pure unfiltered rage. the desire to stand up to authority figures.  clenched fists, heavy calming breaths, tightly closed eyes. tears of anger, of not being right, of never being good enough or smart enough.

subtle jabs. heavy sarcasm. veiled ironies. cruel eyes and bloody smiles.

putting your nose in a cat’s fur and smelling home. holding a small being full of love and feeling fulfilled. finally feeling like you want to protect and not just destroy.

having to put a book down after reading a certain line that perfectly described that unknown feeling you’ve had all your life. rereading the same line again and again and feeling the knot in your heart and stomach loosening. knowledge as power turned into knowledge as a way of truly becoming yourself turned into a shelter of understanding guarding you from the anger.

swearing in other languages under your breath. reciting poetry aloud by candlelight while drunk on wine and desire. heavy whispers full of hot meanings in the ear of your lover during dinner in languages spoken only by you two.

finally getting the happy ending you’ve always read about. finding your anchor. being a better you for your beloved. improving and helping each other with their shortcomings. balancing each other.

asmodeus

perfectly done make up that had you wake up 2 hours earlier than the others. using concealer to hide a pimple or any imperfection. pants too tight to walk in. the sound of heels in an empty hallway. 

caressing your desire while taking a hot bath. focusing on carnal needs, on your senses, on what you feel, on the present. drunk kisses. flirting with strangers at moonlit bars. red lipstick stains on blushing necks.  

drinking a glass too many despite the warning in your head. drinking to forget yourself. drinking to escape your fears, your inhibitions, your shortcomings. drinking to become the perfect you the others always expect to see you as. but also drinking to be selfish and feel good for yourself and yourself only.

the sad knowledge you’ll never be the best ever again. being compared to others and ending up comparing yourself to them. knowing your worst enemy is yourself, but trying to hide that fact with mean jokes and confident airs. feeling afraid of being known, but even more afraid of having no one knowing the real you.

beauty at a price. happiness sold for beauty. cruel beauty that devours its worshippers. 

the reassuring hands of a stranger holding your hair as you let it all out, the alcohol and the guilt. crying with your head on the cool toilet porcelain after you came home from a party that you thought would help you escape. 

help and love coming from where you least expect it. noticing the little things. noticing the person behind the character.

beelzebub 

an unknown hunger gnawing at your insides. trying to fill the empty inside but always choosing the wrong meal.

feeling satisfied after a good meal on a good day, feeling bursting on a bad one. devouring until you can’t. still feeling empty, still needing to fill yourself up but knowing it is useless.

feeling breathless and weightless after a run. being high on adrenaline and feeling like you can do anything. the smell of a sweaty used gym and leather boxing gloves. 

falling in love so slow and easy it feels like a meeting in the middle of an already drawn path.  

belphegor

living just to pass the time. living for others. living but forgetting how to live. being told to do better, to be better, to just get up and do something.

sleeping in. falling asleep at 6 am after a night of insomnia. hearing the world wake outside when inside you’re just going to bed.

strong emotions with no release. feeling full without escape.  dark humor. saying too much, revealing too much, being to much so you hide.

getting away with shit because you’re the smallest and feeling no guilt. 

the feel of fresh bedsheets. being covered in a blanket just right. feeling warm and protected in the comfort of your room.

love that comes like a question and an answer. love that feels heavy despite it’s light.

diavolo

a commanding tone bringing silence to a room. respect earned justifying the respect you were born with.

luck of birth. being born with a silver spoon. being sheltered, being always different, being untouched by the world outside and its people. 

being born with a burden. accepting your prescribed fate. believing in legends and asking yourself if you’re the hero or the villain of your own story. realizing that life is more complicated than fairytales.

abandoned castles. ivy walls and moss floor. a lit figure at the window of an empty mansion. the creaking of old staircases at night when you’re home alone. feeling like you’re from another time.

a strong hand squeezing your thigh under the table. the reassuring warmth of your lover’s presence in a time of need. being loved and not just desired. finally being touched where it matters.

barbatos

unwavering loyalty. living to serve. giving up on your individuality.

a shadow following you at night while you walk back home. sharp eyes locked onto yours from across the room. 

passive aggressiveness. hiding behind a smile. an impenetrable facade of public politeness.

the ennui of knowing too much, of living the same day, of being hungry  for a breakthrough. knowledge as a burden but also as a gift.

knowing everything about others but no one knowing anything about you. making small thoughtful gestures that remind others of your deep knowledge of their habits and wants.

finally being noticed and seen for yourself alone. getting the surprise you were craving. being taken care of.

simeon

living different lifetimes through your writing and through books.

the smile of a pretty stranger in the train that will forever visit your dreams.

a handwritten message in cursive on the fridge. a hastily written poem on the back of a receipt.

being the outsider. the watcher. being the director of the play of your life and not the actor.

tea that s just hot enough to warm your insides. falling asleep on an armchair with a book in your hand. sunkissed skin. the softness of summer. the fluttering of invisible wings.

ageless wisdom.

rewriting a cursed tale of history. going against tradition. trying to carve your happy ending. succeeding.

solomon

knowledge coming at the price of youth and life.

a thirst to know. devouring books. staying up until 5 am reading. eyes burning dry. feeling like you’re still not doing enough. head full of little nothings. feeling like you will never know anything however much you try read or learn.

notes in the margins of a book you took from the public library. wondering who is the person behind the words. fleeting attachments to the wrong people for the wrong reasons.

being the outcast. the kid at the back of your class reading a russian novel in the original language underneath the table during math class.

a house in the middle of the woods with smoke coming from its chimney. rituals in the dark. wet moss on your soles, the moon lighting up your eyes. the silence of night on a full moon. 

whispering prayers and praises to the earth under your breath as you go. feeling drunk on fire. noticing the magic around you. kissing the earth. finally grasping the knowledge you sold your soul for. asking yourself if it was really worth it and having no answer.

love as an adventure. finally feeling and not thinking. giving up on reason and embracing your heart’s guidance.

[animalluvr999]

Willex Week: Music Day

*crashes through wall* I’m sorry did someone say it’s Music Day???? my time has come

Yes hello I have a Willex playlist that is 7.5 hrs long and I don’t regret it one bit

It is also 64% Taylor Swift songs (which is honestly less than I expected so that’s something)

I’m gonna explain my whole thought process behind it (because it has a ~narrative~) under the cut

Ok so we start out with songs that I feel describe/follow their canon relationship. Enchanted/Everything Has Changed is when they meet, Fearless is when they scream in the museum, and for Delicate through Starlight they’re at the HGC (ep 5). You get the idea. Forever & Always and Haunted are specifically when Alex is angrily drumming (right before the Chemistry Scene, ep 7)]. Afterglow is the start of ep 8 [special mention: Rewrite The Stars (with Alex as Zac Efron and Willie as Zendaya) happens at “I still would’ve followed you” (3:12 in the song is when Alex gets jolted)]. Don’t Want an Ending is their last conversation (in ep 9).

Then we get into Sad Willie Hours (which is in between canon and post-canon). (true pain is imagining Cornelia Street as a sad song)

And then we get into the whole narrative I have constructed in order to tie the playlist together. A narrative consisting of 100 songs. (It’s not clownery if they’re in love)

This Love: Alex comes back! The topic of so, so many fanfics. They finally start dating! I’m not exactly sure of the timing here, but relatively soon after they start dating they both panic and get worried that they’re too “messed up” for a relationship (Alex’s anxiety, Willie’s Caleb-owns-his-soul problem). They don’t break up, they assure each other that it’ll be okay, but that definitely introduces some doubt? I guess? Which sets us up for our next plot point...

Now or Never: ok so the next plot point in this narrative is that Caleb is defeated (? or at least is no longer going after Julie and the boys) and the band is signed for a tour. Alex and Willie talk, Alex suggests maybe they take a break since either long-distance or dating while touring is gonna be hard and Willie deserves to get to be free rather than have to follow the crazy schedules of touring. And maybe Alex kind of wants to tour with his band and be there for them rather than constantly running away to be with Willie. Plus with the whole “are you sure you wanna date me” (see peace) both of them agree that maybe taking a break is for the best, and if they wanna get back together when tour is over then they can. 

And then it’s time for Sad Willie Hours part 2 (me: I love Willie, my happy sunshine boi. Evil Kermit: make Willex break up so that you can have Come Back... Be Here in your playlist)

it’s time to go: so Willie’s just been moping around LA for a couple... days? weeks? Who knows, that’s for you to decide. But he finally decides to head off to NYC in order to have some fun, maybe try to get over Alex and go sightseeing or whatever. And essentially he has a whole Hot Girl Summer moment.

Stay Beautiful, Superstar, and Superman: Willie realizes he’s definitely not getting over Alex, but he’s just gonna chill and have fun and admire Alex from afar. He’ll be patient and wait until tour ends.

The Way I Loved You: now we get Alex POV. He is definitely missing Willie, but has maybe also found someone? But he isn’t feeling it, he wishes Willie would spontaneously come and ask for him back or something. Which Willie does! (betty) 

Then they get back together. Are there 13 songs that all revolve around “they get back together” (as in fit within the conversation of ‘I want to get back together with you’ and the emotions associated with that convo)? Yes. Am I going to change that? No.

From here (Call It What You Want) to the end of the playlist, they just get to vibe (and by vibe I mean be happy and in love)!!! Not a whole lot to explain here. 

(other than two semi-out-of-place clumps:

So It Goes, Come & Get It, and Don’t Blame Me are there because I have a pole-dancing au where Willie dances to them and I couldn’t not include them oops

seven and It’s Nice To Have a Friend: so I read a songfic of seven so now it’s a Willex song for me so I couldn’t not include it so I put INTHaF with it so that these two songs could vibe as an AU for my AU, but INTHaF could also just be them as ghosts rather than a childhood-friends to lovers thing. Idk just let me have my songs))

[princessjungeun]

Just The Way You Are: Chaeyoung x Reader

Request: Can I request a twice chaeyoung scenario where her and the fem reader are in a relationship and the reader is upset cos she’s feeling insecure about her looks

I based the reader’s kind of off of my own...i’m sorry if you don’t like that. You know what i’m going to say but what is a request if i don’t include it. If you don’t like it, I’ll rewrite it. 🥺💕

CW: negative body talk...kinda? I didn’t want to not include a warning but I think it’s ok 🥺

It’s not unusual for idols to date non idols, it’s just less likely to happen. Most idols prefer dating someone that has a similar life to theirs, it’s easier that way. Idols understand each other’s crazy and hectic schedules, they understand everything that comes with their job, and they are used to the cameras being on them constantly.

You met Chaeyoung through a childhood friend, Yeri. It was Yeri’s 19th birthday where you first saw Chaeyoung. You happened to like Twice a lot, you listened to their songs with your younger siblings a lot. This was the reason you became too shy to actually talk to Chaeyoung. You just admired her from afar and stayed close to the friends you knew well like Sohyun and Suhyun.

Later that week Yeri convinced you to go on a blind date with Chaeyoung. You didn’t know why you agreed but in the long run you were forever grateful for not only her. But also Twice’s unnies for encouraging her to go through with it too.

You and Chaeyoung have now been together for almost three years. At first Chaeyoung honestly didn’t think it would work out. There were so many things about dating an idol that she thought it wouldn’t be easy to understand. However you proved her wrong. You were always understanding of her work schedule.

Unlike some people she’d met in the past, she didn’t need to tell you where she was every hour of the day. If she was going to be late she’d text you but if she didn’t you still didn’t mind. You trusted her and you knew that if anything was wrong she’d tell you.

However, being with an idol wasn’t all peaches and cream and applesauce (if you don’t get it google it).

Because you were with Chaeyoung, there was a certain amount of attention on you as well. People recognized you very quickly after JYP released a statement regarding the “scandal” that was your relationship. Like Jihyo and Momo’s, there was not much spoken about it after a few weeks. Many fans adored and supported the two of you.

However there were trolls online and sometimes even in person that made it a point to tell you that they didn’t support you. Often times they commented on your physical appearance. You were taller than Chaeyoung and unlike her, you didn’t dance your behind off for hours on end. This being said you weren’t the slimmest girl in the world but you definitely weren’t what they said you were either.

You scrolled through your phone and read the comments. People finding everything to pick on from your hair to your legs and arms, your stomach, your height, anything.

Now you were second guessing your outfit choice, a cropped t shirt and a pair of jeans. Looking at your reflection in the mirror you pulled your shirt down more and your pants further up. The internal battle of do i wear this and risk people making more comments, or throw on a sweatshirt to avoid it, filled your mind.

“Hey are you ready to go?” Chaeyoung popped her head in your room. You shook your head not taking your eyes off your reflection “no...i’m gonna change my shirt.” Chaeyoung asked “why it looks good?” You laughed and turned back to your closet “maybe on you...not for girls like me.”

“Hey” Your girlfriend turned your around a hand resting on your waist. “What’s that supposed to mean?” You responded “I’m just saying it’s easier for girls with beautiful bodies to wear things like this.” You pulled your shirt off and tried to turn around to put on a much baggier shirt.

Chaeyoung once again turned your around “baby...what are you talking about?” You sighed, shirt in hand. Looking down at yourself you said “i’m just not...my body isn’t-” You gestured to Chaeyoung’s body “that...it’s not beautiful.”

Chaeyoung stepped closer to you and asked “how could you say that?” You walked around your room as you talked “easily. My body isn’t beautiful. It never was. It never will be. I’ve accepted it. My thighs aren’t thin like they want. My arms aren’t like that. I don’t have six abs...I’m just here.” Your voice cracked on the last word.

She pulled your back to her front and she stood in front of the mirror. Softly she kissed up your shoulder blades to the side of your neck, sending shivers up your spine. She asked you “why don’t you see how beautiful you are. Your skin glows no matter where you are. You have abs too jagi-” She traced over the small outline of abs you had. “Your legs are my favorite thing too...they’re so long. I’d kill to be as tall as you. And your strong arms hold me when I just want to feel safe and loved.” She turned you back around, placing her hands on your still unclothed waist.

“You are so beautiful Y/N. I’m not going to tell you what to wear, it’s not up to me. But I want you to know that you are so beautiful you don’t need to hide yourself. You’re beautiful like this. Just they way you are is beautiful.” Her words were genuine and you could tell by the look in her eyes. You nodded and pulled your favorite white t shirt, the one with a strawberry over the heart. It was a gift from Chaeyoung on your first christmas you spent with her.

You looked at her and her eyes brightened when she saw the shirt you chose. “My pretty girl!” She kissed you on the cheek and hugged you happily. You told her “I love you Chaeng.” She simply hummed and dragged you along so you two could head out to your date.

It was little things like this Chaeyoung didn’t think much about but to you they meant the world. She always made you feel so loved and special. You never felt this way with anyone else. This was one of the many reasons you loved Son Chaeyoung.

[thewnchstrs]

it’s that time of the month again!

Dean X Reader

The Witness(part 1): you’re witness to a murder committed by a flying broomstick. the police don’t believe you, but two handsome FBI agents that show up to your door seem to be more open-minded | @thewhitejournal

Wildest Dreams: she works in diner and he’s constantly traveling. After meeting he can’t seem to stay away away from her. | @spidey-babe-parker

Professional Environment: you’ve had the hots for your boss, Dean Winchester, since day one. You always do your very best to please him in any way possible. What happens when one day, you don’t? | @teddybeardoctorr

Trust: you are in need of help and your first choice is two people who don’t like you. | @lonelyandlovelorn

Rescue You: my name is Y/N. I’m the outcast of my witch community. This is the story of how I rescued Dean Winchester, the story of how he saved me. | @jay-and-dean

Fighting For a Future: Y/N help Dean contain Michael in his head. they now share a soul, but Y/N has pushed Dean away. Can Dean fight her stubborn streak? or will they lose their fight before they can even begin? | @flamencodiva​

Deal. | @bad268

Don’t Go Changing: it was never supposed to end up like this. You find out the truth about Dean Winchester. | @sunlightdances

Hurricane: with one of the most dangerous serial killers on the loose and in your tracks you have no choice but to rely on the help of the police to ensure your safety. It doesn’t hurt that the detective in charge is the one of the most skilled there is and probably, well, definitely the most charming one you have ever seen. Or that his flirting with you takes your mind off the danger waiting for you right around the corner. | @angelkurenai​

Abandoned: Dean is forced to be a single father after the reader left them. Three years later she shows up out of no where.| @i-write-about-anything​

Supernatural Series Rewrites | @adorable-dean-winchester

Ride With Me: alternate universe (AU) in which the reader is a horse rider who goes to a ranch in Arizona, owned by Bobby Singer and his wife Ellen, to gain work experience. A heartwarming series about a cowboy who falls for the girl, letting go of the past and the importance of family. | @katehuntington

When Your Past Comes Knocking: a demon hunt goes bad and the boys learn something about your past. | @vicmc624

Cheater, Cheater: Y/N and the boys go on an unusual hunt. | @okayhowmuchforthearm

Old Love, New Love: it’s been four years since Dean Winchester broke her heart, now that he has to work with her, how will old feelings resurface? | @mypassionsarenysins

Sam X Reader

Please... | @georgialouisea​

Stay With Me: Sam wants you to stay and of course you agree, but with Dean and hunting, can you really? | @multifandomaestheticsblog​

Good: Sam’s having a hard day. Reader makes it better. | @slytherkins

Life: The Game | @missmarrinette

Secrets: a drunken night with your boyfriend, his brother and your best friend ends in a lot of your secrets getting out | @supernotnaturalcas

Adjustments: hiding an illness isn’t easy, especially when you’re still learning about it. | @kittenofdoomage

Crossing Parallel Lines: after searching through hundreds of lore books and wanting to go on an a new adventure, the reader accidentally ends up somewhere she never expected and with people she never expected to meet! | @swiftlymoniquesblog

Lean on Me | @deansmyapplepie

Nightmare: after waking up from a nightmare, you and the Winchesters head out to help another hunter. | @crispychrissy

Sleepy Confessions | @team-free-will-oneshots

Three’s a Crowd: you are the girl Sam lives with between s7 and 8 and you are happy together until Dean shows up and forces you to leave. | @supernatural---imagines

In the Studio | @spn-and-daddy-issues

Marriage Mishaps: the Reader and Sam find out about some shocking news that could affect their relationship. | @syven-siren​

Thunderstruck: what happens when the reader comes into contact with Amara? | @fandomoneshots-imagines

Cas X Reader

Winter’s Eye: season 13 canon tells you how AU!Castiel’s story ends, this is how it begins. The deranged and damaged iteration of Castiel we met in the apocalypse universe - an obedient soldier to Michael’s cause barely in control of his vessel’s frayed and erratically firing nerves whose inherent kindness toward humankind appeared entirely obliterated - wasn’t always an unfeeling angelic weapon of interrogation. Once, he sympathized with the plight of humans; one, he loved. | @webcricket​

The Memory Remains: Y/N’s memory had been erased, but a car crash brings more pain than just the physical. | @iwantthedean​

Sharing a Bed | @spilledkauffie​

Cat Got Your Tongue?: Castiel x male reader headcanon for each of them bringing an animal home w/o the other one knowing? Reader brings a corgi, Cas brings a cat? | @just--another--daydreamer 

Paint Cans | @sauntered-vaguely-downward​

Small One: Cas takes care of his newborn Nephilim daughter. | @alexwritessupernatural​

Roman Holiday: Sam and Dean have been making you feel small and unimportant lately, like more of a hindrance than a help. When you leave to spend some time on your own and nurse your wounded feelings, your favorite angel shows up to ease your mind and heart by accompanying you on an off-the-cuff vacation. | @shittyelfwriter​

Alone Time: when the boys head out on a hunt, you decide to have some relaxation time. | @forever-trapped-in-my-dreams​

You Okay? | @fictionalabyss​

Snap Crackle Pop: Introducing Cas to pop rocks | @swlbarnes​

Lebanon: After bringing your dad back with the pearl, many things were changed in the timeline. You find your husband, Cas, but he doesn’t remember you. Based on 14x13. | @supervengerslock​

Beautiful: An insecure Castiel shows reader his wings for the first time | @dabakook101​

Sharing is Caring: You and Castiel share a bed…and a little more. | @fanfic-scribbles​

Other Pairings

One and One Make Three: Friends are always there for you. Through the good times and the bad. After a night out with two of your best friends, catching up and celebrating the end of a chapter, you can’t help but wondering what lies ahead for you in the next. Start a family like Jared? Find another acting job like Jensen would? Little do you know, your best friend is harboring a huge secret and one decision was about to change your life forever. |  Jensen X Reader | @supernatural-jackles

Piercings: Sam and Dean let their younger sister get another piercing, and are a little surprised by her choice. | Winchester!Sister | @to-write-ornah

Chuck Tailors: Chuck is a custom tailor and is making the suits for the groomsmen in cousin Castiel’s wedding. When two strapping men walk into his shop, he can’t help but hope he might make more than just a suit for one of them | Dean X Chuck | @atc74

Fade Into You | Jensen X Reader | @sinatrababyy

Back To Sleep: Jared arrives home after filming and the only thing on his mind is you. | Jared X Reader | @princessmisery666​

Delirium: After one too many sleepless nights, a certain Nephilim begins to grow concerned for Y/N. | Jack X Reader | @just-imagine-1​

Demon Dean: The Mark of Cain has turned Dean into a demon and Sam and the reader try to save him. | Winchester!Sister | @winchestergirl23​

Dying of a Broken Heart: Jensen says something to hurt the woman he loves and he will do anything to fix his mistake. | Jensen X Reader | @pecanpieandgreeneyes85

Non-Pairings

No Second Chances: Y/N and Sam try to save Dean from the Mark of Cain, and Dean is not too happy about it | @winchester-books​

Fandom Letter From Castiel, School Struggles | @to-my-beloved-fandoms-2​

Sibling Jealousy: Reader has known the Winchesters for a long time, almost two years before Cas entered their lives. After that, since Reader was the only one actually teaching the angel about humanity customs and stuff like that, properly, they developed a closer relationship, on the parent-kid way. But it was never verbally acknowledged. Now, with Lucifer’s child on the way, life stabs some sense and realizations onto Reader, but there’s no time for feelings in this house | @no-te-lo-voy-a-dar

Death Isn’t The End | @foreverwayward

Imagines

Imagine being best friends with Jared, Jensen and Misha | @thwiso​

Imagine you’re Sam’s lover and you’re standing face to face with Lucifer who possessed him a long time ago | @istigatorawrites

Imagine stargazing with Rowena | @multifandomfix​

Imagine being in love with Dean but being told Cas is your soulmate | @writing-of-an-angel​

Imagine meeting Sam at a book store | @writtenwinchester

SPN headcanons | @dolly-face03

Being Lucifer’s child and meeting Sam and Dean Winchester would include... | @lotsoffandomimagines

Imagine playing with Sam’s hair when you’re bored | @dumbbitchenergy17

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

FOREVER TAG LIST

@spnbaby-67 | @octo-cow52 | @luciferslucille | @anti-social-club | @search-bar | @mellorine-paprika | @thepocketshoelace | @jaremish | @the-salty-asian | @the-hufflepuff-hunter | @robynannemackenzie-blog | @mersuperwholocked-lowlife | @lilreethi | @find-sammys-shoe |  @caswinchester2000 | @damnedimpala | @thelittlestwinchestersister | @lauren-novak | @adeanmon | @tmiships4life | @spnficgirl

DEAN TAG LIST

@mccartneywinchester | @resanoona

WINCHESTER SISTER TAG LIST

@resanoona | @mccartneywinchester | @bunnyandy12 | @breereadsthings | @slytherinrising

[bowieandqueen11]

Wedding Bells / Reddie Imagine

Request: omg I loooovveedd your richie x male reader!! do you think you could do a fluffy hc of richie & a male reader (or eddie) getting married? like richie is getting nervous & bill (or others) are comforting him? thanksss :))) 

I did an Eddie wedding imagine as my first ever one on this blog, so it seems quite fitting to rewrite it for my OTP! <3

All comments are very much appreciated!

Not for the first time in his life, Edward Kaspbrak was afraid.

His hands were shaking, less from realising his inhaler wasn’t in his second fanny pack or the fear of what his mother would do if she realised he had kissed Richie Tozier down by the quarry by the age of 16, but from the perception that people in the pews were starting to stir with restlessness and that at any second the love of his life would walk through those double doors, and he was a sweating, shaking mess.

His best man Bill clapped him on the shoulders suddenly, ruffling his hair and making him jump. ‘Stop sweating it Eddie Spaghetti, Richie’s always running late, it only makes sense that he will be late to his own wedding-’

‘Beep-Beep Bill’ Mike whispered from the other side of Eddie, nudging Bill slightly on the shoulder, earning a small eyebrow raise in reply. ‘Although he d-does have a point Eds,’ Mike added. ‘The amount of times Richie’s been late to Losers’ meetings down by the Barrens when we were kids now makes sense. Although, all the Losers k-knew that you two often s-sneaked off for little a little lover’s rendezvous whilst your mum thought you were round mine. E-e-even Georgie knew, so I wouldn’t be so w-w-w-worried. He’s loved you forever. Plus, he has Ben and Bev to help him get r-r-ready’.

Eddie blushed slightly, wringing his hands and tilted his head back to face the door.

‘I’m nervous, Bev, I don’t think I can do this. What if he’s changed his mind. What if Myra storms in and objects. Or even worse Sonia Kaspbrak herself returns from the dead just to stop me marrying her son- oh jeez, I’m definitely going to be sick,’ Richie blurted.

Beverly turned from fixing Richie’s sleek black tie to grin at him in the mirror. Bev stood up, deciding his suit was done and instead fixating on the little tufts of hair that just wouldn’t lie down straight on top of Richie’s head, ignoring the heated and worried looks Richie gave her over the tip of his glasses.

‘Trust me, if you’re feeling nervous, just imagine how asthmatic boy out there feels.’ Bev chuckles slightly whilst Richie bats his hands towards her shoulders, holding in his own chuckle as Ben knocks on the door, ready to lead Richie down the aisle. 

‘It’s been nearly thirty years since Eddie kissed you that night we fought IT in Niebolt house, Richie, since you changed the loser on his cast to lover and he didn’t stop gushing about it to me and Mike for weeks afterwards, and in all these years no killer clowns or manipulative mothers or literally forgetting the two of you existed have been able to keep you two apart for very long.’

Richie looked at himself in the mirror one last time, imagining the young boy who used to wave at the young boy he’d heard in his kindergarten class was the strange hypochondriac with the dead father through his bedroom window because he’d stopped and spotted him and thought he was lonely. His young mind not yet afraid of consequences or danger or in-laws, built up the courage to climb the tree outside his house and reach out to tap on his window before nearly falling out of it when his mother ran out the front door threatening to call the police. That was the day Eddie had realised he felt a strange, scary but right feeling, almost as if the part of him that had been lacking or missing or longing for something in this dreary town had just been waiting for this new, fearless boy with the buck teeth and the tilted glasses who would stay by his side as he worked through his loneliness and repressed emotions until he started to realise you needed to take the risks in life. This day of realisation was the day he had proposed to him.

Taking Ben’s arm, Richie wished only that Stan could be here to witness something he constantly told Richie was only a matter of time (granted, with a big eye roll), before Richie was comforted by his own realisation. 

They had all made an oath to each other.

Once a loser, always a loser. They were family, all of them, and family are together no matter the circumstances.

Having stepped into the Church, and seeing the face of his fiance turn from anxiously sweeping the guests into a gaze of adoration and complete devotion once he had spotted him, Eddie knew that whatever the future held for them, in Derry or elsewhere, as long as they were together he would be alright.

And for the first time in his life, Edward Kaspbrak wasn’t afraid.

[choicesfanatic86]

Through the Storm: Part 1

DISCLAIMER:      All characters belong to Pixelberry Studios, except characters  unique to my story.  Those belong to me. ;)

PAIRINGS:  Riley (MC) x OC, Riley (MC) x Liam, Liam x Riley (MC) x OC, Olivia x Drake, Bertrand x Savannah, Maxwell x OC

SUMMARY: Riley Lawson returned to New York a broken version of herself after a failed whirlwind romance.  Years later, she has put the past behind her and rebuilt herself into a successful event planner who is happily enjoying her fast-paced New York lifestyle.  However, just because she’s put the past behind her, doesn’t mean it won’t come back to haunt her.  When an unexpected letter turns up on her doorstep, she’s forced to face the people and feelings she ran away from all those years ago.

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PERMANENT TAG LIST:  @umccall71​ @drakelover78​ @jamielea81 @bobasheebaby​ @speedyoperarascalparty @hopefulmoonobject​ @theroyalweisme @gardeningourmet​ @jlouise88 @hamulau​ @traeumerinwitzhelden​ @blackcatkita​ @mrs-simmy​ @kaitycole​ @alwaysthebestchoice @mfackenthal​ @trr-duchessofvaltoria @pbchoicesobsessed @liamxs-world @flyawayboo​ @devineinterventions2​ @ranishajay​ @jayjay879​​ @alepowell @greyeyedsmile14​​ @mspaigemoore​​ @princesaakl @annekebbphotography @angelicfangirl  @katurrade​ @cordoniaqueensworld​ @ao719 @kingliam2019​  @custaroonie​ @lovemychoices​ @texaskitten30 @harlequinash @smalltalk88  @pixieferry @thatspicegirlssong 

Tag List for TTS Only:  @herladyshipxx  @captainkingliam  @cocomaxley @queencatherynerhys​ @spetstoof​ @grapefrults @pessimystic-fangirl @dralenamax @hhiggs @penguininapinktuxedo @topsyturvy-dream @diamond-dreamland @pnhanga @ladynonsense​ @mrsdrakewalkerblog @crookedslimecreatorpasta @liamxs-world​ @flowerpowell​ @bruteforcebears @withice​ @jared2612​ @darley1101​ @sleeplessescapades @leelee10898 @craftytacotrashdream​ @eileendannie​ @bella-ca @x0valkyrie​ @sunandlemons​

11/26/29 - Here we go again.  I bet you’re wondering why I’m rewriting/revamping TTS? Five months ago I got a critique about TTS saying that the reader felt it wasn’t realistic enough.  For them, things felt rushed and kind of disjointed (examples they gave were the beginning/agreeing to go to the wedding; glossing over Drake/Olivia’s relationship; Riley’s relationship with Paul; Maxwell and Andy’s engagement.  I’ll admit, my heart hurt a little because I had put so much time and energy into it and had been getting so much positive feedback that I kind of got blindsided by that critique. With everything that was going on in my life, I kind of just ignored it and moved on thinking that I’d address it when I had more time.  Of course, I didn’t really get back into writing again until recently.  So, I took the opportunity to reread TTS and I found that the reader who shall remain anonymous (lol!) was correct.  It was rushed . . . I did do a disservice to such awesome characters like Paul and Andy and Maxwell and even Olivia!  So I’m gonna do right by this critique and rework it so that it is a bit more realistic.

So?  What does that mean?  The plot is going to change.  Eek! I know.  Scary.  But the general premise will remain the same.  Plot twist - I already have the ending written and that won’t change.  But Riley’s time in Cordonia will be a bit different. :)

I really hope you guys decide to continue to follow along!

If you want to be removed from the tag or be tagged, please message me! :)

                                          PART 1 - LIFE GOES ON

“Oh my goodness,” I whispered.  “Roxy, you’re a magician,” I sighed as I inhaled the delightful cinnamon aroma permeating from my warm cup of cappuccino.

Roxy winked at me.  “I know what my best customer likes,” she chuckled.  “It’s been ages since you’ve swung by for a visit.  I had to make it just perfect for you.”

I smiled brightly at the owner of the coffee shop.  Roxy’s Coffee Shop had become a second home to me over the last two years.  I had stumbled across it back in college when I first came home to New York.  I was in between mid-term exams and needed somewhere to decompress before heading back to campus and happened upon this little hole in the wall café.  It was love at first sight.  Sure, there were a bunch of mainstream coffee shops scattered across the city, but there was just something that drew you in at Roxy’s.  For one, they had the coziest little set up going on.  The lighting is dimmed just right and the chairs are extra cozy – which is perfect when you want to get lost in a good book or in my case a really tough crossword puzzle.  Another thing?  Roxy makes THE best cup of cappuccino this side of the Hudson River.  I couldn’t count how many times I found myself huddled in a corner sipping a cup of Roxy’s perfectly brewed coffee after a long day of classes.

And that’s just where I am today – snuggled in a plush, brown chair at the far corner of the shop, steaming cappuccino in one hand and the New York Times in the other.  This was the life.  I brought the cup of cappuccino to my lips, savoring the delicious taste as I sipped it slowly.  “I’ve missed this,” I sighed happily.  “I’m sorry I haven’t been around as much,” I offered.  “Business has been crazy, and . . . well . . .you know how it goes when you’re your own boss,” I explained.

“Do I ever . . .” Roxy agreed.  “Stay as long as you like.  I’ll be sure to have Gus bring you a refill when you’re done,” she smiled.

“Best Barista Ever,” I exclaimed.

“Just you today or is that handsome hunk of man joining you?”  Roxy asked waggling her eyebrows.

“Just me,” I laughed.  “Paul’s in Boston.”

“Too bad,” Roxy winked at me.  “I’ll leave you to it,” she motioned toward the crossword puzzle page in front of me.  “Mmhmm, she chuckled.  Only girl I know that does the New York Times Crossword in pen,” she shook her head as she went off to tend to another customer.

Sighing, I leaned back into the chair getting myself comfortable.  Roxy had been right.  I hadn’t stopped by in at least a month.  After all, it had been just as long since I had an actual day off.  I was about due for some nice rest and relaxation.  When Alicia offered to do my consults for the day, I jumped at the opportunity to breakaway for a little while.  I was going a bit stir crazy in the four walls of my office.  Don’t get me wrong, I loved my job and I loved being my own boss even more, but I seemed to constantly be moving at the speed of light.  I started Savvy Events right out of college and despite the rocky start I had trying to get it off the ground, things have been booming every since.  

I loved the hustle and bustle of my fast-paced life.  My weekends were spent planning and coordinating some of the trendiest events in New York City.  So I wasn’t planning parties for the Kardashians just yet, but I did plan a party for one of the girls from Sex and the City once and it got featured in Glossy magazine.  That was pretty epic.  Mostly though, I found myself catering to high-end business professionals who were just too busy to plan parties themselves – corporate galas, year-end celebrations, weddings.  You name it; I pretty much could plan it.  My weekdays were just as busy – filled with client meetings, scouting visits, and designing sessions.  It wasn’t easy, but it kept me busy, the money was great, and I was really, really good at my job – if I do say so myself.  

Admittedly, there were times when I missed how much downtime I used to have.  I sometimes longed for the days when I could randomly decide to wander aimlessly around the city and discover all of the little idiosyncrasies that New York had to offer.  But the Riley back then didn’t have as much responsibilities as I do now.  Man, just thinking about how much has changed over the years makes me nostalgic for life pre-business.  I’ve come quite a long way from the days when I was waiting tables at that dingy little bar out in Brooklyn.  I couldn’t help but smile when I thought about all the late night shifts I spent working at Upscale.  I snorted at the memory.  Upscale . . . what a totally misleading name.  There was absolutely nothing upscale about that crummy, little bar.  The patrons were a bit too touchy, and my manager Craig was a giant ass.  It wasn’t all bad though.  My coworkers were fun and the tips were a dream, especially when I was trying to save up enough money to get back into college.  And if it wasn’t for that oh so glamorous waitressing gig . . . my life would have turned out pretty differently.  Hell, I never would have met him.  Had I not picked up that last party the night he walked into the bar, I never would have met the man that turned my life upside down.  I never would have had the opportunity to cross off so many items on my bucket list.  I never would have gotten to see the world outside of my tiny little studio in Brooklyn.  I never would have fallen in love.

Ouch.  Let’s not go there.  It had been months since I had even thought about him. I closed my eyes at the thought, clinging onto my cup just a tad bit tighter.  My heart had a slight twinge . . . of pain?  Regret maybe?  I shook my head, mentally chiding myself for letting myself go there again.  I was doing so well.  What had it been three months since I last thought about him?  Or them?  That had to be some sort of record.  They say time heals all wounds, and I was slowly starting to believe it.  It had been two years since everything had happened, and I refused to allow myself to ever be that weak again.  I’ll never let myself revert to the girl I was back then.  I came back to New York a ghost of my former self.  I remember feeling like the aching heartbreak would stay with me forever.  I thought that I would be doomed to a life of wallowing in my never-ending grief.

It still amazes me that I was somehow able to pick up the pieces of my broken life and glue them back together again.  It was a long and hard road that took many months, but here I am . . . almost as good as new.  Were the fractures still there?  Oh yes, of course.  Once something was broken, you couldn’t just pretend that it hadn’t shattered into a million pieces.  The cracks of my former life . . . as much as it killed me to still admit it . . . were still dancing along the surface of my rebuilt life . . . although faded they were still very much a reminder of everything that happened all those years ago.  

God, how tragically sappy.  The buzzing of my cell phone thankfully interrupted my thoughts.  Looking down, I saw my boyfriend’s name flash onto the screen.  I couldn’t help but smile.  Here I was dwelling on the past when my future was calling.  Paul had been away for the last three weeks facilitating a corporate merger between two well known companies.  Headquarters for both companies were based in Boston, and although his law firm was centered in New York City, they wanted him to go out and meet the clients directly in their neck of the woods.  He’d been flying in and out of Boston for the last few months.  I missed him something fierce when he was away, but we’d been getting by through countless text messages and many FaceTime sessions.

“Hi, Handsome,” I answered.  “I wasn’t expecting to hear from you until later today,” I murmured.

“Hey, Gorgeous, I know . . . but I just couldn’t let a whole morning go by without hearing your voice,” he responded.

“Well, lucky me then,” I smiled.  

“Luck you indeed because I also happen to have a surprise for you,” he said.

“Ooh,” I hummed.  “What kind of surprise?” I could feel my smile grow wider.  Paul was something special . . . he was funny . . . sweet . . . caring and oh so thoughtful.  He spoiled me.  A lot.  And I didn’t know exactly what I did to deserve snagging a guy like him, but I was certainly thankful for whatever powers that be that found us winding up together.

“Guess who was able to book an earlier flight and is flying in to see you in exactly three hours?” He said in a sing-song voice.

I was grinning so big my cheeks were starting to hurt.  “Shut up!” I exclaimed.  “Paul, that’s the best news I’ve heard all day.  And you know what?  You’re just in time for movie night,” I almost squealed.  “They just haven’ been the same without you these last few weeks,” I laughed thinking about what it’s been like him without the last few weeks.  I had used my best friend Andy as my stand-in date and she was less than thrilled at my movie selections.  “I’ve had to resort to spending movie nights with Andy and you know how that goes,” I chuckled.

“Oh, I have a funny inkling about how that went down.”  He chuckled.  “Let me guess, she demanded it be a sci-fi flick?”

I groaned.  “YES!” I exclaimed.  “She tried to get me to watch Deep Impact three times,” I sighed.  “I told her that I had no desire to watch a movie about a giant asteroid pummeling down to Earth, but she scoffed when I suggested Legally Blonde,” I said with a slight chuckle in my voice.  

Andy had been the first friend I made when I moved back to New York.  We found ourselves in the same creative writing class at Hudson University and instantly bonded over our love for all things French.  Before you knew it, we were inseparable.  I loved her to bits and pieces, but she drove me absolutely crazy.  For every similarity we had, there were at least two differences.  For one, I was an absolute neat freak . . . whereas Andy seemed to leave a trail of clutter wherever she went.  Even our taste in movies differed astronomically.  Andy was all about action-packed sci-fi thrillers, whereas I leaned more toward the cheesy romantic comedies.  Despite our differences, and me wanting to throttle her a time or two, she and I became tremendous friends, and I absolutely, positively couldn’t imagine what life would be without her.

“Let’s just say that last movie night resulted in a full blown popcorn fight,” I laughed.  “That I ended up cleaning all by myself,” I sighed.  “There were many a moment I wanted to shove a handful of popcorn in her mouth just to keep her mouth busy,” I chuckled.  I paused for a moment, before clearing my throat.  “It’s been a long few weeks, Paul.  I’ve missed you,” she murmured.

“I’ve missed you so much, too, baby.  Remind me not to leave you this long again. Next time, I’m packing you up with me,” he laughed

I grabbed the newspaper and threw it in my tote bag.  “Careful … I just might hold you to it.”

I glanced down at my watch and was a bit surprised with how much time had flown by.  “Ah damn, if you’re coming home in a few hours I should head back to my apartment.  Get things cleaned up a bit.  Maybe we can do dinner at Russo’s tonight if you aren’t too jetlagged?  Then maybe catch up on all our movie nights we missed while you were gone?”  I asked hopefully.

“Anything you want, babe.  I honestly don’t care what we do as long as I get to see your gorgeous face.”  

I could feel my cheeks grow hot at his compliment.  This guy.  My God, was he a sweet talker or what?  I got that our relationship was still in the honeymoon stage so to speak – we had only been exclusively dating for eight months after all, but man, did he know how to sweep a girl off her feet or what?  Butterflies?  Nope, I had full blown moths fluttering around in there, and somehow, he also managed to make me go weak in the knees each time I saw him.  

Admittedly, I wasn’t exactly keen on the idea of going out with him at first, but I’m very glad that he was able to wear me down eventually.  Yeah, the frequent trips to Boston were hard, but we were making it work.  And surprisingly, we hadn’t even had a single disagreement since we first started dating.  Our relationship was easy.  Comfortable even.  And well . . . normal.  God, how I craved normalcy.  Those were things that I never had with him.  Then again, I don’t think there was anything really normal about my relationship with him.  Ugh.  I’m doing it again.  Just stop.

Paul’s voice broke through my internal struggle.  “There’s ah … something I wanted to talk to you about, too.  Been thinking a lot about it while on the trip, and was hoping to run it by you today.”

“Oh?  Okay, that sounds good,” I replied, as I waved a quick goodbye to Roxy.  “I’ll see you in a few, babe,” I smiled as I tapped the end on my phone and left Roxy’s Coffee Shop.  

The trek back home wouldn’t take me long as I only lived a few blocks away.  There was so much I needed to do before he got in, but I was pretty excited to see Paul.  FaceTime was great, but nothing could replace seeing him in person or hearing his laugh right across from me.  We had met about a year after I returned to New York.  I had finally picked myself back up and moved on from my time in Cordonia.  I had reenrolled in college, finished my last semester and earned my Bachelor’s Degree in Business. Shortly after I graduated, I went to my local credit union and asked for a loan to start up my own business.  It was a gigantic risk at the time – after all, I had no backup plan if I failed miserably.  They started me off with a modest loan which I used to get the foundation of Savvy Events created.  Even with the loan, money was tight.  To cut down costs, I was working out of my apartment with only a single laptop and my design book.  

Paul’s law firm was one of my very first clients.  I’d been hired to coordinate an event honoring the firm’s newest partner – Paul.  When I went in to meet with him for the initial consultation, I found myself surprisingly attracted to him.  I hadn’t dated anyone since . . . well since Cordonia, and it wasn’t like I was looking to date again.  My heart was pretty shut off from jumping into ANY relationship, and when I met Paul and felt a little spark, I tried my best to snuff it out.  I didn’t NEED a relationship and I certainly didn’t WANT one.  Especially after the shitshow that had happened back in Cordonia, but there was something about Paul that kept drawing me in . . . even though I wanted none of it.  Paul was tall, slender with touches of gray in his dark hair.  He was just under ten years older than me, and he had an air of sophistication that was very fitting of a corporate attorney.  I tried my best to ignore the growing attraction between us.  It was my first major gig and I could not screw it up by being attracted to the guest of honor.  That would be a big no-no.  I wanted to keep things professional.  I also didn’t want my newly pieced back together heart, broken again.  I tried so hard to pretend that there wasn’t anything between us . . . but each meeting had me falling a lot more in like with him than I wanted.  He was sweet, charismatic and genuinely interested in knowing more about me.  That’s why, I wasn’t all too surprised that when the party was over he had asked me out to dinner and wouldn’t accept no for an answer.  

I agreed to a single dinner and made it clear that I wasn’t looking for anything serious.  I didn’t go into a lot of detail, but just gave him the rundown that my heart had been smashed to smithereens and there was no way in hell I was going to fall down that black hole again.  He was oh so patient and understood completely.  That single dinner turned into a standing weekly date which then turned into frequent movie nights throughout the week.  Eight months later, I’m still in major like with him.  LIKE.  Not love . . . I mean, yes, there have been moments when he does something so amazingly, sweet that I go all heart-eyes on him . . . but love . . . yeah, no.  Thanks to him, I don’t really think I can ever “love” someone so freely again.  If there was anything that I learned from my time in Cordonia it’s that love is a four letter word that makes you weak . . . and I’d be damned if I would allow myself to get swept up in that whirlwind again.

After wrestling with my thoughts, I found myself standing on the front stoop of my apartment building.  It was the typical New York City brick-built walk up.  It was in a pretty good area near a lot of shops and markets.  It was also ridiculously close to the subway making it so easy to find yourself in any one of the other boroughs of the city.  Because of that it was obscenely expensive.  I mean, two bedroom apartments in New York are already obscenely expensive, but one in close proximity to the subway typically broke the bank.  Thank God for Andy.  Without her splitting of the rent, we never would have been able to afford something in this area.

I climbed up the three flights of stairs to my apartment unit, all the while, butterflies floated around happily in my stomach.  My mind raced to what I was going to wear to our early dinner tonight.  It also drifted to what Paul wanted to talk to me about.  He seemed a bit vague about it.

“Hey,” I said happily as I walked through the front door.  I threw my keys onto the island in the kitchen.  Andy was sitting on the floor furiously typing away on her laptop.  Papers were strewn all around her in different piles.  

“How’s the thesis going?” I asked, eyeing a few of the crumpled, wadded up paper next to her.

Andy stretched her arms over her head, yawning.  “I’ve been at this since seven this morning and got all of one page done.  You tell me.”  She snorted.  

Andy was an English major who had earned her Bachelor’s Degree two semesters ago.  Her educational goals were much loftier than my own.  She wanted her PhD.  I just wanted to get the hell out of school.  It had already taken me a bit longer than expected to get my degree, and I didn’t have the funds or drive to continue any further beyond my BA.  

Andy was in her second semester of Hudson’s Literary Studies MA program, and I didn’t envy her in the slightest.  While my life had become consumed with all things Savvy Events, her life was consumed by her thesis.  I didn’t understand why someone would willingly spend so many hours of their life working on a paper that could either make or break your educational endeavors, especially when there was going to be more schooling and papers waiting for her on the other side of her MA.  She’d still have at least four more years in her doctoral program.  I internally cringed at even the thought of it.  Andy had mentioned a few times that she’d probably have to move out of state to pursue the PhD program that she wanted.  I didn’t even want to think about what that meant for our friendship.  

Andy had been my saving grace when I first moved back to New York.  And if I were being honest, she was the only friend I had for quite a while upon returning.  When I had come home to New York, a lot of my college friends had graduated and moved out of state.  Even my old coworkers at Upscale had found new jobs and moved on with their lives.  A lot changes in six months.  I was left in a state of limbo, not really having anywhere to go or anyone to turn to.  Meeting Andy was a blessing that I so desperately needed at a time when I wasn’t really sure what to do with my life.  

I never really told Andy what happened to land me back in New York, and being the godsend that she is, she never pushed or pried.  I vaguely mentioned that I had been traveling out of the country for a while, and she assumed that I had been a part of some foreign exchange program.  She never prodded and I never corrected her because . . . well . . . talking about Cordonia . . . and him . . . would just reopen the wounds that had taken so very long to heal.  I wanted a clean break from all things Cordonian.  I left no contact number or forwarding address.  I wanted them to forget I ever existed, and to be honest, I wanted to forget they had ever existed, too.  

“Hey, one page is better than nothing right?”  I popped open the refrigerator grabbing a soda can out of it.  “Want one?”  I said as I held up a can to offer Andy.

“I’m good.  I’m wired on three cups of coffee right now.  I don’t think my body can handle any more caffeine right now.  So how was your day off?”

“It was fantastic.”  I sighed happily.  “Paul’s flying in today . . . in a few hours in fact.”

Andy cocked her eyebrow.  “Really?  I thought he was going to be gone for nearly a month?”  

“Me too, but I guess his negotiations must have wrapped up quicker than expected, so he’s flying back.  We’re doing dinner tonight at Russo’s, so you’re on your own tonight okay?  Looks like my movie partner is back in action,” I chuckled as I made my way toward my bedroom.

“Thank God!” Andy exclaimed.  “Your taste in movies is horrendous, geeze,” she sighed.  “Wait . . . does that mean you guys are planning on coming back here and having some post business trip loving, because I was planning on working until at least eleven tonight.”

“Andy!” I yelled, turning away from my doorway.  “Seriously?” I narrowed my eyes at her.

“I’m just saying!  Every time that man goes away on business, you can’t keep your hands off of each other when he gets back. I mean, I get it, you’re still in the honeymoon phase of your relationship … but can you may be spread the lovey dovey googly eyes crap at his place tonight?  I do not like being the third wheel,” she said pointedly.

“Stop it,” I scolded.  “And we aren’t that bad,” I chided.  “I mean . . . yes when he comes back from his business trips we are quite happy to actually be together in person again . . . but we hardly push any hard limits . . . we always keep it to a nice and comfortable PG-13 level, thank you very much.”

Andy waggled her eyebrows.  “Sure, you keep telling yourself that.”  

I rolled my eyes and threw my balled up jacket at her head.  “I’m going to go get ready for tonight.  Get your mind out of the gutter.”

As I turned into my bedroom and started to rummage through my closet for something to wear, I heard Andy enter my room behind me.  "Hey, before you go off to get all glamorous for your date …  you got mail today.  Seems pretty fancy . . . and it looks like it has some sort of foreign postmark.  Cor-something?  I can’t make out the rest,” she said as she squint her eyes to make out the lettering.  

My hand clenched on my closet’s door, an unsettling feeling forming in the pit of my stomach.  “Foreign?” I asked, turning to stare at Andy, my jaw clenching.  “What do you mean foreign?  What’s it say?” I asked, abandoning the clothes in my closet.

Andy had the envelope in her hand and looked at it again.  It was a cream-colored envelope.  She scrunched up her face again.  “Well, the postmark looked weird, and I had to sign some sort of funky slip of paper to acknowledge that I received it,” she shrugged.  “I can’t really read the full postmark.  Look,” she motioned to the envelope.  “It even has a fancy red seal on it.”  

My heart beat faster in my chest and my legs felt like they were turning into noodles.  A wave of emotions washed over me.  Foreign postmark . . . red seal . . . it couldn’t be.  Could it?  Not after all this time.  I mean . . . it’s about two years too late to be reaching out.  The thoughts hummed through my head as I eyed the envelope in Andy’s hand.  

I cleared my throat, trying to steady my voice.    “Does it say who it’s from?”

Andy shrugged nonchalantly, as if the letter she was holding wasn’t the ticking time bomb that it was.  “Nope, just some sort of insignia.”  Andy handed me the envelope.  “Does it look familiar?”

I swallowed hard, my eyes dropping to the seal.  My fingers traced the wax seal on the envelope.  Did it look familiar?  Of course it did.  I’d seen the crest hundreds of times during my time in Cordonia.  Bertrand and Maxwell had made sure that I was familiar with all of the court’s seals and crests.  I wanted to speak, but my voice cracked a little in the process.  How could this happen?  Fifteen minutes ago I was so excited that Paul was flying home . . . . now all I felt was absolute dread.  The butterflies from earlier were gone, replaced by a gnawing feeling of anxiety.

“Ri?” Andy questioned.

I lifted my head.  “Hm?” I asked as I felt my eyes glazing over.

“Does it look familiar?” She asked again.  I could sense the impatience growing in her voice.

“Y-yes,” I replied softly.

I could feel Andy’s eyes boring into me.  “Well?  What is it?” She asked.  “Who’s it from?”

I licked my lips nervously, and cleared my throat.  “It’s the family crest of House Beaumont from Cordonia.” I replied softly.  My chest felt tight, and suddenly I couldn’t breathe.  I braced myself on the arm of the couch, trying to sit down.  I tried my best to remain composed, but I could already feel hot tears pricking my eyes.

Andy scrunched her face up in confusion.  “From where?”

[shikyus]

Rewrite The Stars

Pairing: WooSan (Wooyoung x San)

Genre: angst, fluff, soulmate au

Word count: around 1250 i think??

This was inspired by the song Rewrite The Stars by James Arthur and Anne-Marie 

Enjoy~ ^-^

They say that soulmates are not something that can be changed, that you would undoubtedly fall for the person that the universe assigned you and live a long happy life together. And yet, why did San feel like everything was going completely wrong when, a few years ago, he had to watch his best friend get in a car and leave town with his so-called soulmate? He should’ve been happy for him, right? Should’ve congratulated him, right?

He heaved a deep sigh in the silence of the night, eyes landing on the old picture of him and his best friend, Wooyoung, that was barely visible on the moonlit desk, feeling that familiar ache in his heart and the sting in his eyes. He brought his knees up and placed his chin on them, letting the tears run freely down his soft cheeks as his mind drifted away to all the bittersweet memories.

Him and Wooyoung grew up together, went through everything together, discovered the world and unraveled its secrets together. He could still remember the day he turned 16, when Wooyoung gently kissed his cheek and told him they would be together forever, no matter what. He could also remember how he had foolishly trusted him, put his hopes in him, let him have all of his heart, only to have him leave a few years later. He could still feel the excruciating pain of that time when Wooyoung had come over, excitedly ranting about how he had finally found his soulmate, telling him all about how they had already been on a date and held hands and how everything had been perfect. From then on everything started going downhill. Wooyoung would be constantly talking about his soulmate, reassuring San that he would soon find his too, and San had to sit through it all, fake his smiles and be a good friend. After a while they started drifting apart, mostly because of Wooyoung spending more and more time with his beloved, while San cried himself to sleep almost every night, not being brave enough to confront his friend about the issues they were obviously facing. By the time Wooyoung decided to leave town with his soulmate, they were already acting like strangers and San thought it would be easy to forget him, but, oh, he was wrong.

There he was, 2 years later, still crying in the middle of the night, not able to let it go. He tried so hard to find somebody to replace him, to make him feel again, to make him happy again. He gave up quite fast, coming to the conclusion that he probably didn’t have a soulmate, or if he ever did have one, then they were obviously long gone.

He slowly wiped off the tears and put his earphones on, deciding that music would help him calm down and, eventually, fall asleep. After a few minutes of listening to old sappy love songs, he could already feel his eyelids getting heavier as his tired body finally relaxed, giving in to the sweet bliss of sleep.

The next morning he woke up with a major headache, took some pills for it and made a half assed attempt at cooking breakfast, deciding to give it up in the end and just go grab brunch at a place nearby. He put on some comfortable clothes, grabbed his keys and went out. He locked up and as soon as he turned around his eyes landed on a way too familiar car. It took him one too many seconds to figure it out, but as soon as he did he felt a multitude of feelings pass through him: shock, curiosity, disbelief, anger.

He looked to his left, only to find the owner of the car sitting  in his old swing. He blinked a few times as they made eye contact, still not being able to believe what he was seeing, taking a few cautious steps back as Wooyoung got up and started slowly approaching him.

“Hello, Sannie…”, he said with a pained smile on his face, when he got close enough to be heard. San’s heart was breaking into a million pieces again just at the sound of his pretty voice, as he was staring at him, frozen in his place, still trying to figure out what exactly was going on.  

“Woo… Wooyoung? Is this a dream? Is this some kind of sick joke?” San finally said through gritted teeth, still not knowing what to make of the situation.

Wooyoung seemed sad and resigned, but his eyes widened at San’s words as he quickly answered, voice slightly cracking in desperation.

“No, no, Sannie, I swear it’s not a joke or anything like that, I-… look, I know I have no right to be here and you have all the right to be confused, shocked, angry, you name it, but please, please hear me out. That’s all I ask of you Sannie, please hear me out.”

San took a moment to gather his thoughts and consider, as he looked at his best friend. He obviously looked more mature now, but San could still see the hopeful child that had once been there. He was so conflicted, as a big part of him told him to stay away, leave and never look back, but the other was whispering sweet words of better days and hope. He sighed as he rubbed his temples, already feeling the headache coming back. With one last look at his fidgeting friend he finally made up his mind.

“Okay, I’ll listen to what you have to say”, he said as he turned towards his door and unlocked it, opening it for Wooyoung, “but I really hope it’s worth it, Wooyoungie, I really do.”

He entered after him and made his way to the couch, sat down and motioned to his friend to do the same.

“You probably have a lot of questions right now, like why I am here, what happened to my… soulmate, and all that, so here we go…” Wooyoung said, voice wavering thinking back on it all. He told San everything about the sweet times and then about the bad ones, about the violence he went through and how hard it had been to finally let go, he told him all about it, both of them breaking down halfway through. They cried and they laughed, they shared beautiful memories of their sweet past, and painful ones form the few years they had been separated, and after an entire day of sharing stories and reconnecting, they found themselves hugging on the couch, finally finding their home again.

“Sannie?” Wooyoung asked, breaking the silence.

San hummed in acknowledgement, as he looked at his friend questioningly.

“Do you think we could grab some blankets and go stargazing on your roof?”

San smiled fondly. Wooyoung had always liked stargazing and it appears like that never changed.

“Yes, of course~” he said, grabbing his friend’s hand, as he got up and started heading upstairs.

That’s how a few minutes later they found themselves cuddling under the starry night, finally feeling at peace. And yet San’s mind was still full of questions and insecurities, thinking of how it all happened so fast. He decided on one more important question and turned to look at Wooyoung as he hesitantly whispered.

“Wooyoungie… So what now?”

That’s how he found said boy already staring at him, a fond look on his face as he answered simply.

“Now we make our own fate…

Now we rewrite the stars.”

[lisinfleur]

Falling to Pieces

Author’s Notes | You guys giving me the chance to fix Ubbe's broken heart. Or mine. Man, these days were the hardest days of this series to me. My beloved bardic prince, killed. My sweet cripple becoming a monster and dear Ubbe so lost in the middle of all this shit. It's good to be able to rewrite these scenes and give him something to stick to. To fight for. Thank you for this! Universe | Vikings Pairing | No pair, Ubbe, Little Sister! Reader Info | Viking Age AU, platonic love, requested by anon for 5CW4 Words | 1602 ⁑ Warnings: ANGST, fluffy.

You couldn't say what moment of that terrible nightmare was the worst: if seeing that arguing starting; if foreseeing what was to come; if watching as Ivar's ax was flying towards Sigurd's chest; if standing there, looking at your beloved brother lifelessly laid in the middle of that boat-like grave, watching as everyone was placing an offer to the gods for his way to Valhalla as tears were staining his murderer's face.

Your heart was in torn but something more than your heart was made into pieces that evening.

You always loved Ivar over all of them.

Like Ubbe had Hvitserk, you had your crippled older brother as your favorite. In love with his brilliant mind, you always understood his rage due to his condition - after all, what man could stand all the shit he was into and have no feeling about this?

You were always with him, you stood for him dozens of times, but yet, you never hated Sigurd at all. Instead, you could see his reasons and understand his own behavior, maybe the same way you could understand Ivar's. And it even made you feel kinda guilty he wasn't the favorite of your heart, even you loved Sigurd as you loved all the others. He was lonely, after all. And it was sad. It was all.

There was no need for that situation to reach the point of no return. No reason for Ivar to do what he did.

However, you knew Ivar enough to see into his eyes he wasn't crying for regretting what he did. He wasn't crying for taking your brother's life. He was angry. Furious with himself for losing control of his own actions.

He knew what he did was terribly wrong but there wasn't regret in his tears. Only the anger of being unable to keep himself under control. Only the frustration of ceding to Sigurd's insults and showing himself weak in front of all the other men that were watching that awful spectacle of horror. And it broke you inside one more time.

There would be no more of the beautiful songs you liked to dance while Sigurd was playing. No more of the laughs you shared with your bardic brother when he wasn't fighting Ivar. No more even of those stupid fights you were so used to.

And more than that, your belief that Ivar could have a heart into his chest was broken. He wasn't really only angry about his condition and all the challenges he had to face every day of his life. There was something more into his heart than the frustration of being crippled in a universe that was constantly charging him from his physical skills. He was cruel. He was cold and artlessly cruel and something into him was evil, after all; capable of anything.

Even the cruelest things...

"Y/N..." your older brother called your name.

Ubbe's voice woke you up from your trance and you noticed there weren't anyone around anymore. Sigurd's body was already covered along with the offers, causing that site to look like the grave of a hero, a nobleman among yours indeed. But yet, a grave. A place where you never thought you would see one of your beloved brothers in a long time.

"You shouldn't be thinking this much, sis. Come... Let us take some water and rest, you need it," he said, softly touching your shoulders, intending to conduct you away from Sigurd's grave.

"I don't wanna leave him," you mumbled with your voice trembling, stumbling at the words "Not yet. Not this soon..."

Your throat closed again. Those stupid tears weren't stopping to pour from your eyes causing Ubbe to sigh, frustratedly. You, from all his brothers, shouldn’t be passing through this much pain and he wished he could protect you from everything.

But he couldn’t.

"Neither do I, sis. I wish things were different. I wish he was here, complaining about how stupid Ivar is for us to make him stop talking that way. I wish it was only another of those stupid fights in between our brothers... But we cannot change what happened." he said, wisely.

Sadly.

"I want my brother back," you mumbled again, sobbing "I want to wake up from this dream, Ubbe. I want this nightmare to be over! First mother, then father, now Sigurd... Who'll be the next to leave me? When will this torture stop?" you sobbed again, unable to stop the sobs from swallowing you, feeling Ubbe's arms around you, pulling your head against his chest, causing your cry to become even stronger, finally winning your will and breaking you into tears against his leather vest. "I don't wanna lose you all... I can't handle it... It hurts!"

"Shh..." he muttered.

And you felt Ubbe's fingers softly sliding through your hair as he kissed the top of your head, keeping you against his chest, into his embrace.

"You won't lose us all, Y/N. I'm here, with you. We'll go over it together. I'm here for you, sis... I'm here for you."

You knew he was there…

But for how long?

For how long would you have Ubbe's chest to cry like a lost little girl, or his hands to caress your hair and his words to comfort your heart? For how long would you be able to hide into his arms from the whole terrifying thing the world around you was becoming since all that shit started?

"Promise you won't leave me, Ubbe," you asked, raising your teary eyes towards his face.

The blue eyes you always thought were beautifully different in your older brother's face. All of you had blue eyes like your father. But Ubbe's were different from all your brothers'. His eyes were... unique. They were never able to lie but now, they were full of a mixture of feelings you couldn't really decipher for the first time in your whole life. Ubbe's eyes were always a window of his soul, but today, they were confused. There was tenderness, but also darkness and sadness into them.

He opened his mouth to answer, but no word came out and instead of speaking, he cupped your face with both of his hands, caressing your cheeks, looking into your eyes for a long moment before kissing your forehead and touching his on to yours, approaching your eyes even more from his own.

"I can't promise what I can't fulfill, sister,” he said, causing your heart to clench into your chest.

You didn’t want to deal with the idea you could lose everyone around you like you just lost Sigurd. Or Ivar…

But Ubbe kept talking, and you tried to find any comfort in his following words.

“I won't tell you I'll never leave you, for the gods are the ones who choose our fate. I can't tell you I won't find my way to Valhalla before you, or even, you won't find your way before me. But I can promise you I'll always fight to come back for you. I'll always fight to be by your side. This I can promise."

His words sounded wise again, despite the fact it wasn't the words you wanted to hear. Yet, they eased the fear in your heart. You could still lose him. He could still disappear, like Sigurd, or your mother, or even your father before her. But you knew now he would be fighting to come back for you and even if he was defeated, you knew he would try his best.

You felt the tears rolling down your cheeks, wetting his fingers before he wiped them with his thumbs softly sliding over your skin. And you raised your hands caressing his face, touching his beard and softly pulling him into an embrace, hiding your face in the crook of his neck. Your eyes looking at Sigurd's grave from over Ubbe's shoulder, seeing the flags in his standard fluttering with the wind as if they were dancing for one of his forever silenced songs.

You would miss him. You would miss Sigurd awfully and nothing would ever be able to restore your faith in Ivar after what he did, so as nothing would ever be able to fulfill the empty space Sigurd left in your heart. But you still had Ubbe. You still had your older brother's dedication and his promise to fight for you to rely on.

"Wherever you go, take me with you, brother," you asked, softly pulling away from the hug to look at his face once again. "I'm scared and hurt. But I feel safer when you're around."

Ubbe nodded, passing his hand over your shoulders and looking at Sigurd's grave one more time before taking you with him back to the tents.

You wish this war to be over, but there were still things to be done before you could come home. And even then, to come home would not be the same without mother to receive you or Sigurd's songs to make your days happier.

Sadness started taking your heart again, but Ubbe's hand softly pressed your shoulder and you saw him smiling small at you.

Maybe that was the feeling in his eyes. Maybe he was as lost as you were and it was your presence giving him the strength to keep going such as his presence was the only thing pushing you to move forward.

You nodded, smiling back in a simple and sad curve on your lips.

If he could fight for you, you could fight for him as well. And so, it would be a good reason to stay alive.

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[ebaeschnbliah]

KILLING  THE  BEST   FRIEND

________________________________________________________________

After the events shown in Sherlock BBCs ‘The Final Problem’ it really looks like the connections between ‘the skull’, the ‘best friend’ and ‘sacrifying/killing the best friend’ are one of the most important components of the whole story. If not the most important at all. And on a metaphorical level it makes all the sense in the world too.

If you like, enjoy this idea under the cut …

Four cases, four characters, four different stories and each one circles round ‘the death of a best friend’.

a scientist (Frankland)

a detective (Sherlock)

a friend (anonym)

a sister (Eurus)

The Hounds of Baskerville

Little Henry witnesses how his father is murdered by Bob Frankland, his best friend. The scientist and Henry’s father are compared to Sherlock and John.

HENRY: Well, mates are mates, aren’t they? I mean, look at you and John.

For a subtext-reading I recommend @sagestreet ‘s ‘Follow the dog’ meta.

The Reichenbach Fall

JIM: Your friends will die if you don’t. SHERLOCK: John.

The showdown on Bart’s roof leaves two ‘dead’ men behind. Each of them forced the other one to commit suicide. And by doing this, Sherlock kills John’s best friend …. himself.

The Abominable Bride

EMELIA: Swiftly now. No Tears.

A ‘faithful sister’ asks an anonymous friend to kill her. This starts a war which divides ‘the world’ and lets loose invisible armies, raging furies, a monstrous regiment, a mysterieous cult ... subdued for a long time and not allowed to raise their voices. 

The Final Problem

There are no dog bones in the well as expected. What emerges out of the water of the well is the skull of little Victor, who once had been Sherlock’s best friend. 

In TFP the human skull in the hands of Sherlock’s best friend John, closes the circle backwards 

to the skull on the mantlepiece in the living room of 221b Baker Street

to Sherlock, who introduces that skull as ‘friend of mine.’ and

to John’s question ‘So I’m basically filling in for your skull?’  

The ‘skull’ and the ‘friend’ are merging into one another …. thereby connecting Victor, John and RedBeard.   (More on that topic X)

And then, there is Eurus, the ‘other one’, the sister who supposedly put the skull/the friend in the well. Eurus, who wears a knitted cardigan very similar to John’s jumper. Another connection.

The ghost and the skull

a sister can be called a nun

a headless nun is a sister without a head, without a face, without a skull

Sherlock once had a case … code word ‘headless nun’

a headless nun can be a very effective ingredient of a ghost story

Sherlock accuses Mycroft … ‘You turned my sister into a ghost story:’

Sherrinford is the abode of ‘ghost sister’ Eurus

and in the well at Musgrave Hall lies a skull … 

A headless ghost sister and a skull without a body. This still untold story seems to be all about some dramatic division in the past and because of that it almost screams for an end with a ‘reunion’ of skull and body. Of head and transport? Of intellect and emotions? Because ‘just a head’ - even the most cleverest one - isn’t able to exist on its own forever? And eventually the neglected ghost of a body, treated like transport, necessary but annoying, for far too long ….. awakens, begins to stir and demands to be heard. 

In other words: .... a snowcaped mountain starts rumbling, becaus it actually is a volcano ….

“Sherlock Holmes, again, must have sexual impulses because human beings tend to -- most human beings, not absolutely all, but that's the majority. The fact is, he decides to put all that in an iron box to make his brain work better. Of course, the fact that that iron box bounces around and shakes and bangs from the inside is what makes the story interesting. He wants to rise above us like a snowcapped mountain, but he's actually a volcano, and that's where the story is. That's where the story is. You know, you shove Irene Adler in front of him, and he just falls apart like most men would.”

Steven Moffat on Sherlock (IGN interview, February 2014)

On a metaphorical level, what does Irene represent in this story? Sexuality. Irene is Mrs. Sex.  I wrote about it in ‘Explosive ... it’s more me’.  Jim Moriarty - Mr. Sex - represents Sherlock’s very own sex drive. Irene and Jim, both are gay and it looks very much like both are returning by the end of TFP.

Experimenting with  metaphors

The metaphor creates the world - the time and place; the who, what, when, where and why. Metaphor literally means to "carry over," to substitute one thing for another. To describe one thing by means of another. To describe something that is unknown by the use of things that are known.  (Metaphors in story writing and moviemaking)

Exploring the story told in Sherlock BBC has always fascinated me. And this fascination multiplied since the day I started to suspect that there’s maybe more to discover in it than the already highly interesting, coded subtext …. that even the surface level of that story might consist of carefully crafted metaphors used by the creators to paint a picture. The picture of Sherlock painting a picture inside of his own mind. A picture of himself.

SHERLOCK: Oh, hello again, Archie. What’s your theory? Get this right and there’s a headless nun in it for you. ARCHIE: The invisible man could do it. SHERLOCK: The who, the what, the why, the when, the where?  (TSOT)

That this story isn’t only told from Sherlock’s POV but - for the first time in history - Sherlock Holmes himself has become the storyteller. And all the stories he creates and tells himself inside his head - on a mind stage - are presented through Sherlock’s own metaphors, acted out by different characters, clothed in varying costumes, hidden behind masks, some distorted, some made visble by mirrors. 

The truth of the matter is that the underlying universal structures of great stories hide some amazing bits of wisdom concerning who we really are and who we were really meant to be, and what we can do to become fully realized human beings - but to keep these amazing hidden bits of truth potent and relevant, the metaphors that express them have to be constantly renewed and kept fresh - i.e. the underlying story and message stays the same but the costumes and other outer trappings have to keep changing with the times.  (Metaphors in story writing and moviemaking)

Metaphors in storytelling have been used since humans are telling their stories. And inventing, creating or rewriting stories can also have a great healing effect that should not be underestimated. 

In oral and written language, using the medium of picture imagery, metaphor speaks directly to our imaginative faculties, bypassing our rational brain. Such metaphoric byways and pathways enable us to explore the ideas, forces, and powers that lie behind or beyond our rational thought. Metaphors reach deep into our soul imagination and, simply stated, “touch our heart.”  ... In Antoine de Saint-Exupéry’s book The Little Prince we learn a simple secret from the fox:  “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; What is essential is invisible to the eye.”   (Therapeutic Storytelling)

Basically, this is the advice that Ella Thopson, the changeable therapist, gives at the beginning of the story, in PILOT/ASIP:  “.... and it will help so much to write about everything that’s happening to you.”

Metaphors of ‘change’

There exist some key metaphors to express change and inner transformations, that are present in the literature of all world cultures (X).

Transitioning from caterpillar to butterfly

Awakening from the dream of reality

Uncovering the veils of illusion

Moving from captivity to liberation

Purification by inner fire

Going from darkness to light

Moving from fragmentation into wholeness

Moving through life events as a journey or path

Returning to the source

Dying and being reborn

Unfolding the tree of our life

It seems that more than one of those examples can be discovered in Sherlock BBC. 

The metaphorical killing of the ‘best friend’

As the saying goes: ‘Old skin has to be shed before the new one can come’. Before any significant change can happen, traditional opinions and views must be challenged, altered and overcome. In The Big Question I tried to work out the core problem Sherlock seems to be dealing with:

There is friendship and there is love, between Holmes and Watson. Ever has been … unchanged … for more than hundred years. I guess no one would deny that. But a loving friendship is not the same as a romantic and sexual relationship.  

If the traditional relationship between Dr. John Watson, the ‘fixed point in a changing age’, the eternal ‘best friend’ of Sherlock Holmes should change into a romantic and sexuell relationship, it makes sense that on a metaphorical level:

first the facade needs to go

then the ‘best friend’ can be killed

to finally make way for the ‘lover’

And if this change comes to pass through Sherlock’s own investigations, deductions and conclusions, it makes also sense that it is Sherlock who sacrifices himself in his role as Mary/facade and then shoots John/best friend in his incarntion as Elsa/Eurus …. just as it happens at the end of TST and TLD.

Sherlock’s ‘I love you’ confession in front of a mirror, directed at a mirror, followed a little later by the statement of his former facade ‘I know you two; and if I’m gone, I know what you could become’ ... happens in the very next episode. 

A fitting and promising developement of a story that deals with the reunion of intellect and emotion and the metamorphosis from ‘best friend’ to ‘lover’.

Nonetheless, S5 would be highly appreciated at this point. :)))

I leave you to your own deductions. Thanks @callie-ariane for the scripts.

January, 2019

@gosherlocked @raggedyblue @sarahthecoat @possiblyimbiassed @spenglernot  @loveismyrevolution @sherlockshadow @sagestreet

​

[mysticharleyquinn]

Hrrmph! A Hartnell Era Meta

I’ve just finished the William Hartnell’s run as The Doctor and the first Doctor’s run in Doctor Who, so I figured I’d write a meta about the characters and the acting instead of the production. So, let’s start off with the man who would make sure Doctor Who shone like the star it’s meant to be: 

Have you ever thought what it's like to be wanderers in the Fourth Dimension? Have you? To be exiles? Susan and I are cut off from our own planet - without friends or protection. But one day we shall get back. Yes, one day. William Hartnell was the perfect choice for Early Doctor Who. We first meet the Doctor in An Unearthly Child and he’s a far cry from the man we’re used to be. This is The Doctor at the very beginning of his life and he has yet to understand the compassion that drives him and his future incarnations. He kidnaps Ian and Barbara (more on them later) and whisks them away to the stone age, and during their first adventure he almost kills a caveman! In The Daleks he purposefully sabotages the TARDIS just so he can explore this strange planet that he’s never been too before, the gall! He starts to soften overtime during the first season but The Aztecs give one of Harnell’s most memorable lines:  You can't rewrite history. Not one line! By the end of Season 1, he’s come to think of Ian and Barbara as family just as much as Susan is his granddaughter. His character has been evolving over the stories and Hartnell is a master performer, able to bring the character to life with his indignant outrage, soft and gentle, and later down the road absolute comedy gold. With Season 2 comes a changing of the guard. Susan (more on her later) has left the TARDIS on Earth and that leaves the Doctor, Ian, and Barbara traveling alone for an unknown amount of time.  Then in The Rescue comes a series tradition: The Orphan in the TARDIS. Vicki is all by her lonesome in the 25th century until she meets Ian, Barbara, and The Doctor. From then on she’s practically adopted by the Doctor. Vicki coming aboard provides a vital element towards The Doctor’s character. Gone are the days where he’s a rough and calloused old man, instead he treats Ian and especially Barbara like his own children, doting on them and constantly making sure that they’re alright. When Vicki comes along, his mischievous side comes out. You can feel the chemistry in the actors when he’s on screen with them, and The Romans highlights how glorious Vicki and The Doctor’s relationship is. That is until The Chase happens and we’re suddenly losing Ian and Barbara. The Doctor is devastated, he sounds heartsbroken. “I HAVE TRIED FOR TWO YEARS TO GET YOU TWO BACK HOME!” He’s roaring at them in total anger, calling them idiots and stupid but we at home know how much he’s hurting. Vicki promises that she won’t leave and that she’s staying with The Doctor, and in turn gain a new companion: Steven. (Definitely more on him later) The final episode of Season 2 is “The Time Meddler.” And this is extremely important because it shows off for the first time another member of The Doctor’s species: The Monk.  The Monk has already changed history, and instead of a villain he’s more treated like a naughty child. The way The Doctor giggles and hoots with the Monk before rounding on him in righteous anger is a treat to see.  Now we move onto Season 3, where most of his stories are lost but they are some of his best. The Myth Makers shows Vicki being lost to the Trojans in a whirlwind of chaos, and it’s just Steven and The Doctor in what is doubtlessly the masterpiece of Hartnell’s first era: The Dalek’s Master Plan The prologue of Mission to the Unknown sets up the scene of what is one of the grandest stories and shows how desperate Doctor Who was to push the envelope and go to such exotic locations. Galaxy 4 already took us to an alien world, and sooner than that was The Web Planet, but the Master Plan shows everything coming together. Hartnell is in top form here, but the devastation weighs heavy on his heart. “ What a waste. What a terrible waste.” And we see him at his most broken and defeated in The Massacre with a somber soliquity after Steven storms out of the TARDIS: “My dear Steven, history sometimes gives us a terrible shock, and that is because we don't quite fully understand. Why should we? After all, we're too small to realise its final pattern. Therefore don't try and judge it from where you stand. I was right to do as I did. Yes, that I firmly believe. [Steven leaves the TARDIS] Steven... Even after all this time, he cannot understand. I dare not change the course of history. Well, at least I taught him to take some precautions; he did remember to look at the scanner before he opened the doors. And now, they're all gone. All gone. None of them could understand. Not even my little Susan. Or Vicki. And as for Barbara and Chatterton — Chesterton — they were all too impatient to get back to their own time. And now, Steven. Perhaps I should go home. Back to my own planet. But I can't... I can't... “ Soon after that, Steven returns and the infamous Dodo Chaplet joins the TARDIS, and his character quickly returns to the grandfatherly figure we all know and love. I would like to skip ahead to his final story, and one of the most important in Doctor Who history: The Tenth Planet. Not only does it introduce the Cybermen, but it introduces the one concept that would change the foundation of the show forever: Regeneration. In hindsight, the signs seem to be there. The Doctor was at the heart of The Dalek’s gigantic time bomb in The Master Plan and during The Savages he’s had his energy drained more. Maybe one starts to think this was planned.  “This is not the end...” He staggers towards the TARDIS and changes into a new man. He started out as an old grump in a junkyard, but he leaves with his head held as high as he can, the warm and loving grandfather. Of course, no Doctor is complete without his companions, and The Doctor has plenty of them. Let’s start with the first of them: His own Granddaughter, Susan Foreman.   

Grandfather and I don't come from Earth. Oh, it's ages since we've seen our planet. It's quite like Earth, but at night the sky is a burned orange, and the leaves on the trees are bright silver. Susan is a bit of an oddity. As the first companions along side Ian and Barbara, her time in the TARDIS is mostly unmemorable. I’ll be honest, the writing at the time never gave her the type of character she was meant to be. She would scream her head off like a frightened little girl and cling onto the adults for dear life.  We see later on that she’s starting to grow up, but her departure is perhaps her most famous.  The Doctor: During all the years I've been taking care of you, you in return have been taking care of me. Susan: Oh, Grandfather, I belong with you! The Doctor: Not any longer, Susan. You are still my grandchild and always will be. But now, you're a woman too. I want you to belong somewhere, to have roots of your own. With David, you will be able to find those roots and live normally like any woman should do. Believe me, my dear, your future lies with David and not with a silly old buffer like me. One day, I shall come back. Yes, I shall come back. Until then, there must be no regrets, no tears, no anxieties. Just go forward in all your beliefs and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine. Goodbye, Susan. Goodbye, my dear How does one speech dictate how a show will continue on? Susan’s importance in the episodes themselves might not have been very memorable, but it’s her departure that changes something in The Doctor. She isn’t someone to be coddled anymore, and even though it rips his hearts apart, he has to let her go. The scenes where he’s asking for Susan to fiddle with the controls and realizes she’s no longer there, it’s disheartening. Without Barbara and Ian, he’d be lost. Speaking of which...

Ian: There is someone coming. Barbara: Goodbye, Doctor! Thanks for the ride. Ian: Yeah, it was fun, Doctor. goodbye. If The Doctor is the soul of the show, then for the longest time Ian and Barbara were the heart. It is impossible to talk about one without mentioning the other due to how influential they are to this show. As I mentioned earlier, during their first adventure with The Doctor he kidnapped them and whisked them away throughout time and space. It’s Ian who first changes The Doctor’s ways and turns him into the moral champion of justice we would come to know him as. It’s Barbara who gives him a good tongue lashing when Ian is out. These two represent everything a companion should be. Smart, Dependable, and Curious. Every time Ian fights for his life for his friends, you can feel the desperation and later the joy when he wins. When Barbara believes they should help, no force in the universe will get them to stop.  Ian and Barbara quickly become family to The Doctor, and helped shape his moral compass that can be felt even into the current series. The ending scene in The Chase where they’re frolicking about modern London and just enjoying being home is a fitting send-off for two of the best.

After all. That's why he went out there, to find out where we are. Anyway, that man looks quite friendly now. He's probably showing him to the nearest town. The changing of the guard is a difficult thing. While I have no doubts that Ian and Barbara could have carried the show beautifully, they too had to leave at some point. Before that though, they brought the beautiful and clever Vicki aboard the TARDIS.  Hailing from the 25th century, Vicki marks a turning point in Doctor Who. She is the first companion to willingly be brought aboard during Hartnell’s Era (something literally every other companion bar Susan cannot lay claim too) and her chemistry with Hartnell is instantaneous. Although there are some moments where she’s nothing more than Susan Lite, Vicki quickly marks out her own character by being everything Susan should have been. She’s witty, funny, and bursting with curiosity. One of her finest adventures is in The Romans, a hilarious tale where she and Hartnell get along like a pair of mischievous school children, off to the capital and leaving the old fusspots lazing around.  Vicki was there on the cusp of a turning point, and her absence is painful and noticeable during The Master Plan and her mere prescience is sorely missed. Mercifully, we have in my opinion one of the First Doctor’s greatest companions. 

What a gorgeous specimen Peter Purves is. He is not only one of the longest male companions The Doctor had (Jamie has taken that spot) but he is one of the best early ones. Steven Taylor is one of if not the best companion the 1st Doctor had. He’s hot-headed, rash, trusts the Doctor implicitly but he’s not afraid to give him a good yelling when it boils down to it. Season 3 was a transformative year for Doctor Who. They were throwing everything at the wall to see if it stuck, with Steven being the sole constant through a whirlwind. His anger and grief after The Master Plan over losing both Katarina and Sara is palpable, and the sheer frustration about The Doctor’s insistence to keep History on course is ultimately forced him out. “Oh, no. You just sent her back to her aunt's house where the guards were waiting to catch her. I tell you this much, Doctor, wherever this machine of yours lands next, I'm getting off. If your researches have so little regard for human life, then I want no part of it.” During Him and Dodo’s run, he’s treating her like an exasperated big brother, scolding her and making sure she’s safe. During The Gunfighters we show off his impressive singing ability! Purves as an actor could do it all, providing the seriousness and drama when required and later making us bust a gut with laughter.  It’s only fitting that Steven is picked to make peace in The Savages and thus end his time in the TARDIS. His absence in my opinion is most noticeable even as new faces come and go.

No, it isn't. I'm crying this time. Oh boy. The Infamous Dodo Chaplet. Is she really as bad as they say she is? So much so that she’s most famous for dying of an STD and getting gunned down. No one can seem to have a high opinion of her, and I find myself in the middle. I don’t believe Dodo was an awful character. The Celestial Toymaker has shown however her almost incredulous stupidty but it’s marred by other stories such as The Gunfighters that dare I say she was even competent. She burst from the TARDIS full of gusto and adventure and she could shine when the time is right. She had the second shortest run of any of The 1st Doctor’s companions and it’s most noticeable in her departure. Not a proper goodbye, just a not stating she’d like to stay home. I feel like if given more time, she could have been remembered more fondly.

Ben: Hey, come on Doctor, wakey wakey! It's all over now. Polly: Doctor? The Doctor: What did you say, my boy? It's all over. That's what you said. No, but it isn't all over. It's far from being all over. Ben: What are you talking about? Now, Ben and Polly are most famous for being the 2nd Doctor’s companions, but they got their start in Hartnell’s Era and my word do they shine wonderfully. With only two stories under their belt with the 1st Doctor it’s agnozing we never saw these three together more because the results are wonderful. Both Polly and Ben’s performers are so full of emotion and character you can forget that they’ve only been with the TARDIS for two adventures. The Smugglers is a wonderful piece of storytelling that sets us up nicely for The Tenth Planet, and that serial really shows off how wonderful these two are. Polly’s indignant objections to the Cybermen and Ben’s clever methods of stalling and defeating them prove why they are instrumental for the 1st Doctor’s final installment. They’re a wonderful representation of the Swinging Sixties coming to life in the TARDIS and on Doctor Who.

Dalek Supreme: Rebels of London, this is your last offer - our final warning. Leave your hiding places. Show yourselves in the open streets. You will be fed and watered. Work is needed from you... but the Daleks offer you life. Rebel against us and the Daleks will destroy London completely. You will all die. The males, the females, the descendants. Rebels of London, come out of your hiding places. Cyberman: You must come and live with us. Polly: But we cannot live with you, you're different! You have no feelings! Cyberman: Feelings? I do not understand that word. Doctor: Emotions! Love! Pride! Hate! Fear! Have you no emotions, sir, hmm? For every good hero, there must be a good villain. And early Doctor Who gave us two of the best and most memorable. I’m not saying that the Daleks and Cybermen are the only baddies Hartnell Era Doctor Who produced that’s highly memorable. The Monk, the Celestial Toymaker, the aliens in Galaxy 4, there is a long line of baddies that are just teething with possibility. But these two are the most famous. The Daleks are a frightening force in the galaxy. First brought onto Skaro in The Daleks, they quickly established themselves as a universal threat with The Chase and finally The Dalek’s Master Plan. During both of the latter stories, the Daleks relentlessly pursued The Doctor and companions and carved a bloody gash through time and space that would forever leave audiences shaking at the core at how terrifying the Daleks could and ought to be. The Cybermen, while primarily famous for later serials, also had such a strong start. Trapped in a base in the antarctic, the first ever Cybermen are sympathetic and mean to the core. Mondas is dying, and they are desperate to save their home and survive. They have no emotion, for they do not need them. They resist the heat, the cold, and suffer no pain.  The humanity has been stripped by the early Cybermen, but ghastly images still remain. A human eye clearly visible, the human-hands and the bulk machines. The Cybermen were a representative of what humanity could become if pushed far enough to the brink. Their first and only outing with the 1st Doctor is bone-chilling. Marvelous work.

In Conclusion... Doctor Who started out as an educational show. That’s why the shift between historical and science fiction was so great, and why ultimately a science and history teacher (Ian and Barbara respectively) were the first ever companions because their job was to teach the audience. But Doctor who grew into something more than that, and through the years of William Hartnell’s time as the Doctor we visited breath-taking locales, explored strange and wonderful ideas, and in hindsight, saw the birth of a series that’s still going strong to this day.  Please watch the 1st Doctor’s run, I had thought that I would despise it, that the special effects would be old and hokey and the acting would be of similar quality. How wrong I was. If you’re willing to look past the budget and the cheap costumes, you will find something brimming with intelligence and life like no other.  Thank you for reading this. :)

[cdelphiki]

Fanfic writer asks: 1, 2, 5 (link it maybe), 7, 11, 12, 13, 20-23, 25, 28. Also, do you think fics should be fully written before the writer starts the publishing process? Why or why not?

Oooh, thanks for the asks.   Let’s see:

1. How old were you when you first started writing fanficiton?

It was earlier this year, just about a week before my birthday so technically I was 25.  

2. What fandoms do you write for and do you have a particular favorite if you write for more than one?

So far I’ve only published in the Batman fandom.  I’ve written in the MCU fandom and not published because they are still too drafty. (A Peter & Tony and a crossover between Batman and Avengers).  The batfam is my favorite, for sure.  Just love those kids.  

5. If you had to choose a favorite out of all of your multi chaptered stories, which would it be and why?

Life Happens, for sure.    I only have three long stories so far, and then kind of that little side fic to Life Happens, but out of the three I prefer this story.  The Missing Piece was my intro into FanFiction writing.  I had only ever written original works, so it was this nice transition to writing characters I did not make up.  Cracked Foundation was some random story that popped into my mind when I was working through the plot for Life Happens, actually, and was more of a distraction to me than actual story I loved and worked hard on. There’s a lot about it I really dislike.  Actually, I wrote all 20k words for that story in the span of a couple evenings, which probably contributes to my dislike for it.  Life Happens has been my baby for months now, and I’ve still not lost interest.  So yeah. 

7. When is your preferred time to write? 

Friday evenings, Saturdays, and Sunday early afternoon/evenings.  It kind of sucks because that’s also the time friends like to hang out, and I can’t do both. So really, I try to squeeze it in whenever I can.  Usually evening/night time is when I do the best work, though. 

11. Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?

Yes!  I added 800 words to a chapter of Life Happens based on feedback that it ended too abruptly and moved too quickly.  I have never and will never change the ending of a story, however, because people are mad at me that I didn’t write the story they wanted.  I will, however, write fan-service alternate endings.  (hint hint wink wink)

In my original work, I have also done major rewrites based on criticism.  That’s how writing works.  You get feedback and you respond how you see fit.  

12. Who is your favorite character to write for and why?

Uh, wow, that’s difficult.  I freaking love Damian to pieces.  Adore that stupid little brat.  But Tim now has a special spot in my heart because I’ve been stuck in his head so long, and Jason is so damn funny.  I think my favorite relationship to write is Tim & Damian, and that’s about as close to answering the question as I can get, because I can’t really pick between the three.  

13. Who is your least favorite character to write for and why?

Dick, probably.  Just because I haven’t quite figured him out.  Reading character studies on him has helped a ton, but I just never feel like I hit the mark well with him.  I still love him and would put him above all the other characters in the Batman fandom (excluding Bruce, I’d put him squarely between the three other boys and Dick).  I tend to just avoid characters I don’t know.  

20. Are there any stories you wished you’d ended differently?

Hmm.  Not so far.  

21. Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire?  What is it about them you admire?

Oh, this goes so against my shyness.  Eek. I can’t really order them.  Looking at my user subscriptions, I’m subscribed to ten people within the fandom, and they are audreycritter, autumnhobbit, bandgeek18, dawnseternallight, dreamersmyth27, fishfingersandjellybabies, lemonadegarden, lowflyingfruit, raberba_girl, and wingfeathers.

Okay, and I’ll just pick a couple to say why I love them so much, but I really do love all these writers.  I’m very likely to read whatever they post within the fandom, unless it’s just a ship I really cannot stand.  (sorry heh)  

With LemonadeGarden, I love the way her stories feel like a dance when you read them, swaying back and forth between dialogue and exposition and whatnot.  They are almost dreamlike they are so graceful.

Audreycritter was author of the first fanfic I ever read, and it’s what drew me into FanFiction in the first place.  I had been searching for a book about Damian Wayne, because while I love comics, I really wanted that inner dialogue and longer story, and came across Let There Be a Bruise on google. I was actually away at training for work, and I remember spending every single free moment I had reading through one shots on my phone after.  I was so entranced.  Audrey does Damian’s character justice and I love that about her.   

22. Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it.

Yes.  All of them.  There are aspects of all my stories I cringe at, even my current WIPs.  It’s just how I am with any form of art I do.  

23. Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?

It varies.  I have ADHD and sometimes listening to music helps me tune the world out and focus, and other times I get really caught up in the music and start paying attention to it instead.  Just depends on the day, what my mood is, and what kind of music I put on.  

25. Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?

Yes.  I’ve cried a couple times writing Life Happens.  By cry, I mean I teared up pretty heavily.  I did so many times while plotting it out, too.  Some of my whumptober fics have had the same effect on me.  I’m weird and love when that happens.  

28. What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fanfiction?

I can’t really think of anything, to be honest. I’ve only been writing FanFiction since March.  Maybe that Tumblr is such a great place to read about the various characters and learn more about what makes them tick.  

And finally, do you think fics should be fully written before the writer starts the publishing process? Why or why not?

I have done both ways and I see the pros and cons of each.  For me, the comments are what drive me and keep me motivated, so with my longer two works there is no way I would have found the ability to focus and stay driven to finish out the story if I didn’t have someone there reminding me that they want to read what happens next.  

But, when you write the entire thing out first, you can make sure the entire story flows well, nothing is mismatched, and the beginning and end lend themselves to each other.  So yeah.  Also, you don’t give the audience 10 chapters and get right to the climax then quit and leave every hanging forever.  I know we’ve all read stories like that.  

I don’t see an issue with writing chapter by chapter, as long as you keep in mind that it’s perfectly okay to go backward in the story and edit.  In ‘real’ fiction, authors are constantly revising earlier chapters to fit with how the story went, so there’s nothing wrong with doing so in fanficiton, even if you’ve already ‘published’ it.  

[bat-besties]

On Impossibility - 5

Chapter 1   Chapter 2   Chapter 3    Chapter 4    Chapter 6   Chapter 7   Chapter 8  Chapter 9

A popular!Logan and loser!Roman high school AU based on @2pointomg’s idea with eventual Prinxiety. 

impossible 

ɪmˈpɒsɪb(ə)l

adjective

·       not able to occur, exist, or be done.

Eg. It is impossible to fund both the sports and drama programmes with the school’s limited budget.

·       very difficult to deal with.

Eg. The situation which Logan Sanders, Student Body President, is in after he convinced the school board to cut the unsuccessful drama programmes is impossible.

·       (of a person) very unreasonable.

Eg. Roman Prince.

To Roman, nothing is impossible. Not following his older brother Patton to acting college, not being a loser taking on the school’s popular Student Body President and definitely not writing and performing an epic school play with no money and six cast and crew members.

Edited by @alpacasarethegreenestanimal, who has an amazing fanfiction on AO3! If you like superheroes, sarcasm and Virgil angst then you'll love this

@toolazytothinkofcreativename

@entitydark

@romanasanders

@barclays-sides

@cashmeredragon

@jughead-is-canonically-aroace

@immacrazyfangirl

@narniasfinestavengingsociopath

@featuredfander

@what-a-catch-joe

@mightaswellenthuseaboutbooks

@candiukas​

@whatamessofwords 

Logan had never been more productive. He was ahead on homework, debate preparation and extra credit work, more invested than ever in running the student council and had recently taken over running the accounts of Elise's band. Cutting out lunchtime as a break had greatly improved his efficiency, which was doubly true when he followed a traditional meal structure of seven or eight meals throughout the day, skipping the need for a proper lunch altogether. His parents had always tried to understand their unique son, so when he explained his new regimen to them they let him take a smaller dinner at his desk as well, providing that he promised them he wouldn’t work himself too hard. Logan wasn’t working hard enough – he taught himself basic ASL and studied Hamlet, watched Bill Nye on his laptop as he read essays on Cicero, then took up jogging every morning before school so he could join the track team. It may seem counter-intuitive, but two weeks on Logan had confirmed the hypothesis that losing Virgil was the best thing which had ever happened to him. 

Virgil leant against Logan's bright red locker, looking as though he was the fulfilment of the collective hopes of Simmons High and had fallen back to sleep. The position was much less comfortable than it looked, and the currents of conversation swirling past him were unnerving, but if he couldn’t see Logan coming then he would be engaged in conversation before he could run away.

There they were – those tapping soles in their regular rhythm cutting across the scuffles and pounding feet of the rest of the student body.

‘Virgil.’ succinct for once in his life, the single word from Logan was both an inquiry and an accusation.

Virgil forced himself to open his eyes slowly. God, Logan looked awful. He had lines under his eyes and his polo shirt had a tiny crease on the shoulder. To the outside eye he seemed fine, but Virgil knew that for Logan this was like rocking up to school in a dressing gown clutching a beer bottle. Why was he like this? Had Elise not checked he was fine after the fight, and had Joan not seen how exhausted he looked, and had the people constantly asking him for help not noticed how overburdened he was? He was with all these damn people the whole time, why hadn’t he asked a single one for help? Virgil hated that he couldn’t stand on his moral high ground when he saw his friend floundering in the waves beneath him.

‘Virgil?’ Logan’s forehead was creased with concern.

'Um, yeah. Well, I was just going to ask you something, but you look really bad man, is everything...Are you okay?’

'I am fine, not that it is any of your concern. What do you want?’

‘Well, I’ve joined Roman’s play thing and we really need money for costumes, so I was wondering if you could, you know find some to, you know, fund it.’

Logan stared at him wide-eyed, ‘Virgil – there is no money. I looked. I don’t know if anyone else but me has realised, but the school has to spend a lot of money ensuring standard of learning is maintained, and its extra-curricular fund is not infinite.’

‘OK, look, man, let’s do this another time, what time were you up last night?’

‘Don’t patronise me, Virgil. Let’s do this right now.’ Logan folded his arms and somehow managed to stand even straighter, ‘I have agreed to help a small group of people from my Spanish class go over verb endings before a pop quiz, and I do not want to keep them waiting.’

‘Fine – what about the debate team trip to New York, could that be made less expensive?’

‘No. And we can’t cancel – all five of us are counting on a national win or at least placing high out of the finalists for college.’

‘Well, the theatre kids need stuff for college too.’

‘I am fully aware of that.’

‘Well, then can we- ‘

‘There is no money!’ Logan quietened his voice after people looked round at his outburst, ‘I have checked, and re-checked, and checked again, and we can run debate, sports teams, bands and choir and assorted student-led societies. Nothing else. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get to Spanish.’

‘See you around.’

Something in Logan went slack at that smallest of amicable farewells. Then he drew himself up again. ‘Goodbye.’

Time to wade into the fucking river. ‘Logan, wait.’ The boy turned, ‘Um, we’ve been using lunch to iron out small details to maximise rehearsal time. It’s a good plan – I got it from you.’

Logan smiled a little, ‘Using dead time to work. It does sound like a good plan.’

Virgil cupped a hand at the back of his neck. ‘Would you like to join us? No big deal, just so you’re not sitting alone anymore.’

So, Virgil had noticed him – he had seemed too caught up in stirring up the theatre kids to louder and louder shouts of laughter with his little comments and observations. It was a nice gesture, but when Logan had spent so long as one half of a pair it was hard to be tacked onto Virgil’s new group: all loud, all weird and all on the outskirts of the social structure of the school. Besides, they wouldn’t want him there. He doubted Roman wanted him on the same continent as him, let alone the same lunch table.

‘Sorry, Virgil. I too have been maximising lunchtime efficiency. I – I am glad you at least learnt something from me. Well, I must be going.’

Virgil stood for a moment, watching the crowds rush past him and swallow up Logan. In that moment, he wished he could just let it go, ignore Roman and his crazy dream and Talyn and their beautiful designs trapped on the page, and Dahlia and her corny puns, and Terrence’s dancing, and Valerie’s evil laugh, and Kyle’s love of monologues. He wished he could let go of the memories of green plastic and blood rushing to his head, of the imagined scenario in which he could no longer paint and how much having that taken from him would hurt.

He didn’t want to dramatically run after Logan or tell him he was right and abandon his principles. All he wanted was to be lying on his bed, scrolling through Tumblr and to have Logan flipping through a book on his bedroom floor. Every now and then one would read out something interesting or amusing to the other, mostly they were silent. They might have film music on in the background and there would be a plate of Mint Oreos halfway between them, so that they could both reach. Perhaps later they would brainstorm ideas for Logan’s project, or come up with silly names for emo bands, or watch Cosmos for the fifteenth time and have twin existential crises afterwards. Perhaps they would have dinner with Virgil’s parents and tap Morse code on each other’s chairs beneath the table in one-word inside jokes. Perhaps they would just stay there forever, preserved in the golden afternoon sunlight as though in amber.

The school bell rang shrilly, and Virgil jumped, cursed, and ran to his first lesson.

-----------------------------------

It was ironic, really – Logan working on his Macbook in a comfortable suburban house worrying about money. It wasn’t impacting whether he’d eat or what he could afford to spend his weekend doing. It wasn’t part of his job at all to look at the school’s accounts, but Logan could not just stick to ‘salad bars’ or ‘laptops’. He had gotten this job (twice) to change things, and it had given him power and popularity, so he would do it properly. He had negatively impacted the lives of the theatre kids, and now he had to rectify that. Before, he had decided to follow logic: money for football, track and swimming meant college scholarships for the athletes and prestige for the school, which came at the expense of only fifteen people, and only six of these were really hurt by the decision. But now he would try something different – he couldn’t do the impossible Roman wanted him to, but for Virgil he would try his best to examine what he could do to help the play.

At least he had somewhere to start from: there was no money. How could he get some? Borrowing from a bank wouldn’t work, even if money could be made selling tickets. Fundraising, then. He knew enough by now to know that selling rainbow T-shirts to raise money for theatre may be seen as a slight. Moreover, those free T-shirts were part of a project which would be his legacy to the school which had accepted him: compassion, equality and empathy.  Fine, at $3 each if he could sell 50, then that was $150. It was a start.

He stared out of his window, down the darkening street. Bake sales? Eight people could make a lot of cake, even if two of those had baking skills so disastrous they had vowed to never try having any snacks but Mint Oreos ever again. Logan pushed away his laptop to lie on his bed instead. He closed his eyes. There was a calculus test tomorrow, and he had an essay due in he really should rewrite. However, his priority should be to help the people he was elected to represent.

--------------------

Mariana Sanders tried. She tried to tell her son he didn’t have to do everything himself, she tried not to feel hurt when he corrected her grammar or brushed aside her view on science even if she held a chemistry degree, she even tried to take his textbooks away from him when he stayed up at night working until he began to plead with her and she relented. His father was happy to let Logan do what he wanted, provided he seemed happy and in control, but she just wanted to understand what was making him happy and if he needed help staying in control. She stopped outside his bedroom door and knocked softly. ‘Honey?’

‘Vinegar.’ He sounded tired.

She pushed the door open and threw some papers at him.

‘`Sweet Pea' and `Pussy Cat': An Examination of Idiom Use and Marital Satisfaction Over the Life Cycle’’ he read, then smiled up at her. ‘We’re not married.’

‘Same principle.’ She was glad he was lying down, and his school stuff was away on its shelf, ‘Are you going to bed soon?’

‘Soon.’

‘Sleep is incredibly important- ‘

‘I know.’

She sat down on the bed and tugged on his tie. Sighing dramatically, Logan loosened it, then at a look from his mother removed it completely.

‘Everything alright with you?’

‘There’s a lot on. Still, you know me, perfectly in control of it all.’

‘Invite Virgil over tomorrow, you need a break and I miss his confusion whenever I slip an MCR quote into general conversation.’ She rubbed his arm, ‘I’ll get you guys Oreos.’

‘Mmm.’

Mariana frowned. ‘Logan, is everything alright with you and Virgil?’

That look. He had that look and she was knocked back years. ‘How did you lose your new astronomy book?’, ‘Are you sure that everyone is away on your birthday?’ and once, terrifyingly, ‘Where did you get that bruise?’

‘No. Just a slight disagreement, both he and I are men of principles…’

She pulled him into hug, and he broke off. There was a beat before ugly, racking sobs began to shake his body and he clung onto her desperately. ‘There, there.’ She stroked his back.

A single tear wended its way through Logan’s hair, though he was too upset to notice it. Mariana tried to blink it back. She was the mother, and she was meant to sit and be a rock, not break down alongside her son! But – she was upset for him and angry at him, and goddammit she was human too.

Logan couldn’t even think straight. ‘Mom.’ He had soaked the back of her top, ‘Mom.’

‘I’m here, Lo.’ She was crying openly now, ‘Lo, you idiot, I’m here. I’m here.’

[lilprincegoo]

updating my ficrec with some more fanfictions i've read lately!

baekyeol

A Streetcar Named Desire (M,  How did Baekhyun feel about having a one night stand with the cute junior from college? Terrible. How did he feel being Chanyeol’s rebound guy? Terrib-ler. Will Baekhyun stop himself from further digging his own grave? Not a chance.)

Angels Wear Pink (PG,  Rilakkuma designer Chanyeol’s main source of inspiration is the popular idol Byun Baekhyun. To express his gratitude, Chanyeol has anonymously sent his designs to Baekhyun for years, never intending for them to actually meet. Fate (and Kim Junmyeon) have other plans.)

All I Have To Do Is Find You (Among All The Noise In The World) (G, People dream about a recognizable, defining feature of their soulmate, something that will stand out to them only. For Kyungsoo, it is the most obnoxious scream-laugh and it haunts his dreams until he finally hears it in person at a soccer game and he discovers that Kim Jongin, their high school’s bear mascot, is his soulmate.)

Behind Blue Eyes (NC-17,  Baekhyun is, among many things, blind in love with Chanyeol. Chanyeol is, among many things, an asshole in love with Baekhyun. It only takes them a few years to understand how a relationship works.)

Close ain't close enough (NC-17,  Borrowing a shirt shouldn’t start a pack war. Chanyeol being unlucky, though, it kind of does.)

Come In, Stay A While (R,  Baekhyun is a workaholic forced to go on vacation. There, he meets a little boy and his dad.)

I was So Sure (PG,  There’s nothing left but the noises—nothing left but the explosion inside him, his heart breaking to the tiniest pieces as guilt showers him with the realization of what he just ruined.)

I'm ready for the fall (ready for the colors to burn to gold and crumble away) (NC-17,   Baekhyun is a vampire who hates humans for good reasons and Chanyeol is a human who hates vampires for bad reasons. While vampires get killed and beheaded and the culprit is nowhere to be found, Chanyeol meets Baekhyun again and suddenly everything he's always believed about monsters doesn't matter anymore.)

Let Me Down Gently (NC-17,  Chanyeol’s dog might be a little too in love with Baekhyun, and Chanyeol is too.)

On the Booze With Brahms (PG,  Chanyeol has never heard someone say puppy like the asshole violinist next door does.)

Plumeria (NC-17,  Chanyeol is not what you expect in a flower shop owner; covered in tattoos and red hair. Baekhyun is his new favourite customer.)

Puppy in Love (PG,  As weird as it may seem, Chanyeol is convinced that his dog, Toben, is in love with the Welsh corgi next door. Unfortunately for Toben, the small dog seems uninterested and snobs him every time. Just like his grumpy owner.)

The faults in Byun Baekhyun (M, Baekhyun and Chanyeol hate each other's guts. It's the start of a new college year, with hormones flying and emotions sinking, with idiots roaming and jerks slinkering. Chanyeol prays that he will survive the year, hopes that he can get closer with a certain guy he's had a crush on since forever. But what he wishes above anything else is that he doesn't get roomed with Baekhyun. However, scenarios can appear deceiving amd things never go as planned. What happens when Chanyeol finds a centain Byun Baekhyun stumbling on his door, horny drunk and smelling of sex? Why, nothing, of course) + sequel >The flaws in Park Chanyeol 

without you to hold i'd be freezing (M, Everyone around Chanyeol talks about how love hides behind every corner, but they are all wrong. The only thing that hides behind a corner is a short asshole who bumps into Chanyeol on a particularly busy morning and spills Chanyeol's coffee when he needs it the most.)

chankai

if your heart was a house, i'd be home (PG-13, to rewrite a story, you have to reach the end first)

'Til The Morning Sun You're Mine (M, Jongin had expected a boring summer helping out at his parents' guest house that they rent out to tourists from all over the world. His mother forgets to tell him about the tall, gangly guy who doesn't like to wear sleeves.)

kaisoo

Alpha Male (NC-17, High school is pretty dull according to Kim Jongin. Yet almost anyone would sell their mother to be able to live his life. He’s popular, outgoing and good at sports. Love letters are hidden in his locker constantly and every boy is jealous of him. Jongin is tired of the same monochrome life every day, so when a transfer student enters the class during second year, he sees an opportunity for his life to change. Except he never expected the quiet boy with globe like eyes to be so mysterious and intimidating at the same time. The new student seems to enjoy lurking around at night, which wouldn’t be weird for a teenager really. Except he doesn’t attend parties. He doesn’t make friends either. What a loser. Jongin will eat this boy alive, that’s the plan. So how come Jongin is the one who suddenly feels like a prey?)

Days In the Sun (M,  A tale of small town love between a daydreaming beauty and a lonely beast.)

electric heart (PG-13, Kyungsoo finds a Persocom in the trash and, against his better judgement, takes it home (because Jongdae is a bad friend and a terrible enabler)) it's discontinued, but definitelly worth reading

Et Lire Entre Les Lignes (M, Kim Jongin, stressed-out student by day and fanfiction author by night, is here to give you two very helpful tips about college student life. First: Let coffee become your best friend. Second: Don't accidentally sent your smut fic to your tutor. Except maybe if his name is Do Kyungsoo..)

Event Horizon (PG-13,  Kyungsoo is a space enthusiast and Jongin meets him and falls in love with the galaxies in his eyes.)

Get to Know Me (M, Do Kyungsoo and Kim Jongin despise each other.... at least that's what everyone in the school likes to think. After all, Kyungsoo is the school's top student and Jongin is the school's biggest problem. But no one knows that Kim Jongin has a math tutor. And no one knows the real Do Kyungsoo.)

Gridiron Love (M, Rule number one of talking to your hot, football-playing crush is not to pretend to be someone you aren't. Jongin breaks that rule anyway.)

marriage is the best form of friendship (PG-13, Jongin will never get tired of proposing to Kyungsoo)

Moonlight Love (NC-17, When Kyungsoo hates werewolves, but Jongin doesn’t know how to quit loving him.)

My Muse (PG, In which Kyungsoo wants to summon his ghosts in peace but a certain somebody keeps distracting him.)

pets are the best matchmakers (PG, It was the best job in the world yet in the Saturday evening, alone at the small clinic with a bunch of cats and dogs to groom, the tanned male felt a bit lonely)

royal (let me be your ruler) (G, In which Prince Jongin is determined to make Kyungsoo his princess and love rules kingdoms)

variations on a love song (NC-17, Kyungsoo is kind of, sort of, slightly, probably, mostly, head over heels in love)

No buts, just beauty (PG, Kyungsoo's always been told that he's ugly. Jongin takes the time to convince him otherwise)

Blind but not Oblivious (M,  Jongin is the school's bear mascot who always cheers and watches on as his hopeless crush dazzles on the football pitch. Too bad he's got social anxiety and is too much of a wimp to take off his mascot head whenever Kyungsoo so much as approaches him.)

Smells Like Teen Spirit (M, side!baekyeol,  “All kids our age want is freedom, and when they get it they do stupid things with it, but god, it feels better than anything." Kyungsoo looked down at Jongin’s beautiful face. He could imagine how good he would look with white smoke curling from his full lips, with wind whipping through his hair as gold light bathed his tan skin. Such careless, glamourous freedom. Kyungsoo felt like Nick from Gatsby, if Nick had ever cradled Gatsby’s head in his lap while Gatsby pulled him headfirst into his careless, glamourous world. “Soo, will you go to the party with me?”

Storm in a Teacup (M,  Ever since supernatural creatures gained access to earth, humans are provided with their personal Guardians to protect them from all sorts of monsters. Jongin is a vampire and is put in charge of Do Kyungsoo’s protection. But see, Kyungsoo really doesn’t want to be protected. He also has a passionate dislike for vampires. It’s less-than-ideal.)

Time Goes By [So Slowly] (M,  Jongin, leader of his pack and protector of his territory in the city, finds himself with a human bodyguard when a bounty is put on his head.)

Treacherous (NC-17, side!Baekyeol,  Kyungsoo and Jongin know they are quickly journeying into dangerous territory, because Jongin's best friend is Park Chanyeol, openly homophobic and sworn enemy of Kyungsoo's best friend, Byun Baekhyun. They go there anyway.)

Trust You The Most (M, Do Kyungsoo ran a shelter for hybrids, but had never really considered keeping one of his own. Kai was left chained to Kyungsoo's front doors, abused so badly that he wouldn't let anyone get near him. It's a slow process, learning how to trust someone again.)

sekai

Give You Everything You Want (Everything You Need) (R, When Sehun moved to a little town far from everything he'd ever known, he wasn't expecting get feelings for anyone. Even less for his daughter's annoyingly perfect kindergarten teacher)

way back into love (M, It’s been six years. It’s not healthy to count, he knows, but he does it without noticing, does it as though it’s his default function. It’s as natural as breathing. It’s been six years since they parted. Sehun’s just turned twenty-six, now. There had been a party, and he spent it with bandmates and fellow artists who drank more than they could bear; and, for the first time in six years, Sehun wasn’t a part of them. While he could hear Chanyeol’s voice, among many others’, shouting “shots!” repeatedly, he’d sought silence in the further balcony of Baekhyun’s penthouse, closed the door behind him and welcomed the quiet sound of the cold wind that reached the highest spot of the building. It’d been six years since his birthday had last truly felt like a celebration of his life.)

Where Your Heart Belongs (M, Sehun doesn't know where he belongs to. Jongin will show him.)

sesoo

Take My Hand (And My Heart Too) (PG-13, Slytherin Sehun Oh gets conned by his best friend, a certain Jongin Kim, into signing up for extra Potions lessons, accidentally blows a cauldron and gets himself bound by the hand to Ravenclaw’s Prefect, Kyungsoo Do, aka his long-time crush. Chaos ensues, and feelings, of course.)

OT-12

Spare the rod, and spoil the child!  (R, Chanyeol begins his fifth year at Hogwarts on the wrong foot; Baekhyun is an elitist prefect who cannot stay out of trouble for better or for worse (though mostly for worse, unsurprisingly); Yifan has one huge Hufflepuff problem and Kyungsoo is bored out of his mind. Meanwhile, Luhan despairs about Quidditch and life; yes indeed, the year is treating everyone well. However, something seems to be off, lately. Hogwarts is not in its usual state and it would take a little more than just curiosity for the inquisitive student to find out why.)