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calumcest · 4 years

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i want to teach you a lesson (in the worst kind of way)

me writing 5.6k in 4 hours and pretending my essays/presentation/exams/dissertation don’t exist? it’s more likely than you think

thank u jex for listening to me scream abt this for the past 4 hours and for always being the sweetest and most encouraging person in the world you are truly such a positive influence in my life

also this is based off a prompt i got i think in 2014 never say i don’t provide! i would link the post but honestly it’s just got my 16 year old self’s embarrassing screams on it so frankly i would rather not so instead i will provide you with a screenshot of the ask under the cut

[ao3]

“Who’s that, sir?” Lily asks, jabbing at the window.

“The new PE teacher,” Michael says.

“He’s cute,” Sarah says, and a couple of the girls nod vigorously.

“He’s also twice your age,” Michael says. “Go on, off to your practice rooms.” The girls groan, but one by one pull themselves away from the window and start to wander off. Michael stays by the window, one eye on the girls to make sure they actually go where they’re supposed to and one eye on the new PE teacher, who’s dividing the class up into groups and handing out footballs. He is kind of hot, Michael supposes, if you’re into muscular guys who are clearly good at sports. Which Michael most definitely is.

Michael Clifford loves his job.

Sure, the staff room politics can get a bit exhausting (although Michael would be lying if he didn’t admit to loving all the drama he wasn’t personally involved in), and the kids can drive him up the fucking wall, but at the end of the day, there’s nothing he’d rather be doing than teaching.

Except today. Today, when a good portion of 10C has somehow exploded into an argument over whether or not Julia snatched a guitar when Sam was about to take it, he thinks he’d rather be a human guinea pig for infectious diseases, or something. It probably pays better, anyway.

“Sam,” he says sternly, and he turns to look at Michael, anger written all over his face. “There are plenty of guitars in the cupboard. Let Julia have that one.”

“But sir, that’s the only one which-”

“I don’t care,” Michael says, holding up a hand, because he’s perfectly aware that it’s the only guitar which stays in tune longer than thirty seconds. He’s been begging for a budget increase since the day he joined the school. “It’s one lesson, it’s not an exam, you can deal with it for forty-five minutes.”

“But Mr Clifford-” Lucy pipes up, ready to defend Sam.

“No, Lucy,” he says firmly. “I want all of you in the practice rooms, now.” Sam glares at him furiously and stomps off without an instrument in his hands, Lucy and Pip running behind him to one of the practice rooms outside the main classroom. Michael decides he’s got enough on his plate without inserting himself into hormonally-charged teenage drama, so he lets them go, rounding on Noel and Olivia, who are still arguing with Julia, Brandon hovering awkwardly nearby.

“I don’t want to hear anything else about this,” Michael cuts in, and Noel and Olivia round on Michael instead.

“Sir, she stole it from-”

“He was about to pick it u-”

“I don’t want to spend my lunchtime in detention, and unless you two do I suggest you get your instruments and go to your practice rooms,” Michael says curtly, trying to refrain from pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance. He’s getting a stress-induced headache already, and it’s the first lesson of the day.

“Fine,” Olivia spits, full of the kind of melodrama only a fifteen-year-old can summon, and Michael tries not to roll his eyes as they stalk off to one of the practice rooms at the back of the classroom without so much as another glance in his direction. He’s pretty sure he hears one of them mutter fuck you under their breath as they walk away, and he feels momentarily bad before he remembers they’ll have forgotten about it by their next lesson.

“Don’t do it again,” is all he says tiredly to Julia, who nods meekly, and scampers off to join her group in one of the other practice rooms at the back of the classroom. That being sorted, Michael turns back to the rest of the class, to find about eight of the girls gathered at the window, chattering excitedly.

“That doesn’t look like composing a short piece on three instruments to me,” he says, wandering over, and a bunch of the girls look back at him with a look of excitement on their faces.

“Who’s that, sir?” Lily asks, jabbing at the window and leaving a mark. Michael peers over their heads to see a distant figure standing on the field with a class that looks like it might be 7A. All he can make out is that it’s a guy, with what looks like a mess of dark brown hair and a couple of tattoos on his (very muscular, Michael notes with approval) arms that he’s waving around, clearly explaining something.

Michael vaguely remembers Paula, the headmistress, saying something about a new PE teacher starting this week, but he’d been too busy whisper-explaining to Luke why Magic: The Gathering was a great game and he should definitely play it with Michael to remember what she’d said the guy was called.

“The new PE teacher,” he says, hoping they won’t ask what he’s called.

“He’s cute,” Sarah says, and a couple of the girls nod vigorously.

Huh, he thinks, pushing himself away from the window and heading to the first practice room to make sure Noel, Olivia and Brandon have calmed down a bit. Sarah’s kind of right.

-------

Michael has a free period fourth period, and even if he usually wouldn’t be seen dead on the field, it’s a beautiful day, and it is on the route to the staff room. Well, it’s on a route to the staff room, at least, and if that route happens to be five minutes longer than simply walking through the building and over the quad, then Michael doesn’t need to know about it. He could do with the exercise, he tells himself. It’s nothing to do with the new PE teacher.

When Michael gets down to the field, the PE teacher’s gathering up the footballs from the previous lesson and stuffing them in the big netted bag that’s been threatening to break for about five years. He turns around after picking up the last one and spots Michael (who is definitely not staring) cutting across the top part of the field. He raises a hand, and Michael’s not really sure if he’s waving or telling him to get the fuck off the field, but then he’s gathering the bag in one hand and jogging over, and Michael’s absolutely not watching the lines of his muscles as he makes his way over.

“Hi!” the guy says, grinning widely, and fucking hell, he’s even hotter up close. He’s got dark brown eyes, crinkled at the corners with the brilliant smile currently gracing his full lips, and his dark hair is curled, falling into his face slightly. “I’m Calum. Calum Hood. I’m new.”

“I’m Michael Clifford,” Michael says. “I’m not.” He curses inwardly as soon as the words have left his lips - he should be legally restricted from talking to hot guys, honestly - but Calum laughs, laughs, and it’s not fake, if the twinkle in his eyes is anything to go by.

“I gathered,” he says. “So, what do you teach?”

“Music,” Michael says. “You’re PE?” Calum nods.

“Music’s my second, though,” he says.

“Oh?” Michael wants to die. Of course hot PE guy can teach Music, of all things. He was literally crafted by God to upset Michael.

“Yeah,” Calum says, with a smile. “I mean, I’m sure I’m nowhere near as good as you, but I play guitar, and a little piano. Bass is my real love, though.”

“Bass?” Michael says, trying his best not to imagine Calum’s long fingers flying across a fretboard.

“Yeah,” Calum says. “I played in a band, for a bit, but, y’know.” He gestures at himself. “Clearly didn’t work out.”

“That’s pretty fucking cool, though,” Michael says, genuinely impressed. “And hey, bassist to secondary school PE teacher is an upgrade.” Calum laughs.

“Fuck you, man,” he says, but he’s grinning, and Michael feels a warmth spreading from his toes to his cheeks. “Hey, are you heading to the staff room?” Michael nods. “Mind if I tag along? I’m still finding my way around.”

“Sure,” Michael says, shrugging and hoping it conceals the fact that he kind of wants to turn back to the safety of his music room and bang his head on the wall until he forgets someone as perfect as Calum Hood exists on the same planet as him.

“Sweet,” Calum says, beaming at him as he holds up the bag of footballs. “Let me just lock these in the shed and I’ll be right with you.”

Yeah, sweet, Michael thinks, as Calum turns on his heel and jogs away from Michael over to the tiny shed in the corner of the field which houses all the outdoor equipment. Not like Michael’s already head over heels in love, or anything.

Sweet.

-------

Calum’s officially introduced in the staff room at lunchtime on his first day, but Michael has lunch duty on a Monday so he misses it. Luke and Ashton tell him Calum’s a big hit in the staff room, “really charming, and have you seen his arms?”, which just puts Michael in a bad mood, because he now has competition.

It’s three days before Michael bumps into Calum again, in his free second period, which he’s spending catching up on all the marking that was due, like, two weeks ago and is still unfinished.

“Hey, Michael!” Calum says cheerfully, sitting down opposite Michael at the desk that he’s entirely covered with a careful class-organised system of marking. “Oh, shit, are you busy?”

“No,” Michael says immediately, because what’s his job compared to conversation with the hottest guy in Australia? “What’s up?” Calum shrugs.

“Just wanted a chat,” he says. “Haven’t seen you in a few days. You been hiding from me?” His eyes are twinkling as he says it, and it makes Michael’s stomach flip, because it’s pretty friendly for a guy he’s met once. If Michael were anyone else, he would say Calum might almost be flirting. Maybe Calum’s just like that, though. Maybe it doesn’t mean anything.

“Been catching up on marking,” Michael says, indicating all the papers on the desk. “I’m literally going to stop setting homework, I swear to God.”

“Can’t say I relate,” Calum says, with a grin. “Perks of being a PE teacher.”

“Yeah, but you have to deal with, like, concussions, and shit,” Michael says, capping his pen.

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and all that,” Calum says breezily, and Michael snorts.

“Typical PE teacher,” he says. “I could have had my leg cut off and my PE teacher would have made me keep running.” Calum smirks.

“Well, you have another leg, don’t you?” he says, and laughs when Michael scowls. “I’m kidding. I’d let you do push ups instead.” Michael rolls his eyes, but he’s grinning.

“How generous,” he says. Calum grins back at him, and Michael’s heart does a fucking backwards somersault, or something ridiculous.

“That’s what you get for saying PE teacher is an upgrade from bassist,” he says.

“Hey, that’s just the natural order of things,” Michael says. “It’s not my fault bass is at the bottom of the musical food chain.”

“What’s music without the rhythm section?” Calum says, stretching, and Michael tries his best not to stare at the sliver of skin that’s exposed under his shirt.

“Acoustic?” Michael offers, and Calum huffs out a laugh, bringing his arms (and shirt, Michael thinks wistfully) back down.

“Fuck,” he says agreeably. “Guess my band could have carried on without me.”

“What kind of music did you play?” Michael asks. Calum shrugs.

“A bit of everything,” he says. “We started on All Time Low, Fall Out Boy, that kind of a thing, got more Radiohead and Tame Impala vibes as we went on.” Jesus Christ. Michael has literally died and gone to heaven, because there is absolutely no way a man this perfect exists anywhere other than in Michael’s imagination.

“Mate, I fucking love All Time Low,” Michael says, and a smile unfurls on Calum’s lips.

“Have you heard their new album?”

“Yeah,” Michael says. “Fuck, Monsters? What a fucking tune.”

“Right?” Calum says enthusiastically. “And Basement Noise?”

“Fucking sick,” Michael agrees.

“You’ve got good taste,” Calum says approvingly. Michael opens his mouth to say something - you’re just saying that to get in my pants is on the tip of his tongue - but he’s interrupted (or possibly saved from eternal embarrassment) by Ashton sitting down heavily next to him.

“Hey, Michael,” he says, throwing a dimpled smile in his direction. “Hey, Calum.”

“Hey, Ashton,” Calum says. “How’s the Year 10 clay project coming along?”

“Oh, you know,” Ashton says, leaning back in his seat and pushing his curls out of his face. “Two busts have been decapitated so far, so we’re doing pretty well, all things considered.”

“Nice,” Michael says approvingly.

“I know you’re talking about the decapitations, Mike, you don’t fool me,” Ashton says knowingly. Michael scowls.

“Was it Sam?” he asks, needing to know who to high-five in his next lesson.

“No, Noel,” Ashton says.

“10C? Short kid, really fucking fast?” Calum asks. Michael shrugs. How is Michael supposed to know how fast he is? It’s not like Noel’s Naruto running through the music room.

“Yeah,” Ashton says, because apparently Noel’s Naruto running through the art room.

“He’s really fucking good with a ball,” Calum says, and Michael bites back an awful innuendo with a lot of difficulty. Not in front of Ashton, he tells himself.

“He’s lacking a passion,” Ashton says. “He’s good at art, but he messes around too much.”

“Same with Music,” Michael says. “He’s got a temper on him, too.”

“Well, maybe I can get him to channel it into football,” Calum says seriously. “Kids need an outlet, and something they feel like they’re good at. He needs something to be proud of.”

Fuck, Michael thinks, as Ashton enthusiastically responds in kind, staring at Calum as he nods along to whatever Ashton’s saying with a thoughtful frown. He’s definitely in love.

-------

Calum and Michael fall into a bit of a routine.

They don’t share a lot of free periods together, only the fourth on Monday and second on Thursday, but Michael will wait at the corner of the field for Calum to finish clearing up after his last lesson and they’ll walk to the staff room together, sitting and chatting shit for an hour about nothing in particular.

Michael learns that Calum’s got a sister, Mali, who’s in the music industry and whom he’s incredibly proud of, and that he’s half-Kiwi, half-Scottish, and grew up in western Sydney, not too far from Michael. He learns that Calum loves dogs more than he loves either bass or football, loves his dog (Duke) more than he loves anything else on the planet, likes playing Fifa and eating ice cream, and that his biggest fear is not having an impact on the world. He learns that Calum genuinely loves teaching, that Noel’s finding his feet with football and he’s really enjoying it, and that Calum almost went professional with football.

(“Is there anything you aren’t fucking talented at?” Michael says grumpily, when Calum tells him that. Calum laughs.

“Asking cute boys out,” he says, throwing Michael a grin, and Michael’s stomach flips.)

And so he also learns that Calum’s gay, and that he’s been single his whole life.

(“Are you serious? Michael says incredulously. Calum shrugs.

“I’m not a blushing virgin, Michael,” he says, seeing the look on Michael’s face, and Michael scowls.

“I didn’t say you were,” Michael says sullenly, but he’s secretly more than a little jealous of these nameless, faceless boys that have had the honour of fucking Calum Hood.)

Of course, Michael’s not the only one in the school to notice Calum.

A majority of the girls, and a good number of the boys, sing Calum’s praises to Michael every opportunity they get. He hears them talking in the corridors when Calum breezes past, smiling at them but eyes lighting up when he brushes past Michael (which Michael tries desperately not to think about when he’s staring out of the window daydreaming in the middle of a lesson). The staff are no better, either - Brenda and Caroline have been gossiping about Calum’s muscles so loudly that Michael only half-jokingly threatened to file a sexual harassment suit against them on his behalf.

One thing that having an incredibly hot PE teacher has done wonders for, though, is school morale.

It’s the only reason Michael’s standing at the corner of a wet field on a freezing May afternoon, wrapped in a thick coat and scarf and somehow still shivering, huddled between Luke and Ashton, whom he’d bribed-slash-threatened to join him because he didn’t want to be too obvious about it.

(“Mike, I don’t think you could be less obvious about being in love with Calum if you tried,” Luke had said, rolling his eyes, but then Michael had pulled out his trump card - he’d give Luke his coveted spot in the corner of the staff room - and Luke had agreed to go.)

“I fucking hate you,” Luke mumbles into the scarf currently covering a good half of his face. “I’m so fucking cold. This is not worth it to get you laid.”

“Fuck you,” Michael says automatically, eyes on Calum. He’s shouting encouragement and tactics at the Year 12 football team - not that Michael can hear it above the cheers and boos from the rest of the school and their opposition - but he looks so fucking good, brow creased as he focuses on the game.

“Are there usually this many people at football games?” Ashton asks, looking around in wonder. “There aren’t, are there?”

“How d’you expect us to know?” Luke asks, exasperated. “We’re not usually at football games either.”

“We’re being good friends,” Ashton tells Luke, a little sternly, and Luke huffs, but doesn’t say anything else.

Their team scores, and the crowd erupts into cheers, because it’s now only two minutes until the end of the game and they’re two-one up, so it’s unlikely the result will change. Calum still looks determined, though, muttering something to Ben, the Year 12 captain, who nods and jogs back across the bitch to prepare for the kick-off.

“I hate this,” Luke whines after a minute, because that’s apparently as long as he can keep quiet without reminding everyone how miserable he is. “This is why I’m a Maths teacher.”

“Shut up,” Michael says, and then the final whistle blows and Calum’s face is finally relaxing, tension dissipating from his posture as he cheers with the rest of the crowd.

“Calum looks really good tonight,” Ashton says, sending a glance in Michael’s direction.

“Alright, fuck me, I guess,” Luke grumbles. Ashton rolls his eyes.

“You’re such a fucking bitch sometimes,” he says, but he looks around furtively before snaking his arm around Luke’s waist and giving it a quick squeeze.

“Everyone knows you’re fucking,” Michael comments, still staring at Calum. “You don’t have to be sly about it.”

“No they don’t,” Luke says, leaning into Ashton’s touch.

“Yes, they do,” Michael says, and then he forgets what he was going to say next because Calum makes eye contact with him from across the pitch and gives him a huge grin, and Michael’s stomach bottoms out. “Fuck, he’s grinning at me.”

“Well, grin back, idiot,” Ashton says, so Michael does. Calum holds his gaze for a moment, and then turns back to his team, leaving Michael feeling a little unsteady.

“I’m in love,” he declares, for the nintieth time that week.

“We know,” Luke says grumpily.

-------

Michael’s halfway through marking 8A’s elements of music test when there’s a knock at the door. He looks up, expecting to see Luke or Ashton, not Calum. He looks out of place in his football kit in the music room, and Michael’s brain short-circuits as it tries to reconcile a hot man in Michael’s music room.

“Hey,” he says, sticking his head around the door. “Am I disturbing you?”

“No,” Michael says, because Calum could walk in on him taking a shit and wouldn’t be disturbing him. “What’s up?” Calum steps into the room, clicking the door shut behind him, and throws himself down on a seat opposite Michael’s desk.

“So,” he says. “You know All Time Low are here next weekend?” Michael nods. He’s planning on going with Luke and Ashton. “I might have got two tickets to Sunday night.”

“That’s sick,” Michael enthuses. “Who are you going with?” Calum throws Michael an odd look, somewhere between exasperation and amusement.

“Well, I was hoping you’d want to come?” he says. Michael blinks.

“Me?” he says.

“Yeah,” Calum says, and there’s definitely a hint of amusement in his tone now.

“I, uh.” Michael’s not really sure how to speak without saying yes, please, and please let me suck your dick while I’m at it. He swallows, hoping it’ll make the words disappear from the tip of his tongue. “I’d fucking love to.” Calum grins, looking relieved, and Michael realises that he must have been nervous . Something about that sends a thrill coursing through his veins - he’d made Calum nervous, somehow.

“Sweet,” he says happily. “Text me your address? I’ll pick you up at five.” Michael just nods, not really trusting himself to speak, and Calum pulls himself up out of the chair, throwing him one last smile before he leaves the room.

Fuck, Michael thinks, as the door swings shut behind Calum, pulling his phone out to Google how to fall out of love with a colleague.

(It doesn’t help him at all.)

-------

Next Sunday comes around faster than Michael had expected, given how much he’s been thinking about it.

Luke and Ashton had been a little incensed when he’d told them he was no longer going with them but with Calum.

(“What?” Luke had said crossly. “Michael, you already bought your ticket.”

“Yeah, but it’s a choice between third-wheeling you or one-on-one time with the love of my life,” Michael says dramatically. “What do you expect me to choose?”)

At five to five, Michael’s sat in his living room, leg jiggling nervously as he checks his phone every two milliseconds just in case he’s somehow missed a notification from Calum in the time it’s taken him to blink.

Calum, though, doesn’t even text to say he’s arrived, just rings the doorbell at five on the dot, scaring Michael shitless.

“Hi,” Calum says, smiling, when Michael opens the door. He’s wearing a Nine Inch Nails shirt and straight-leg blue jeans, which should look incredibly nineties and not good at all, but somehow makes Michael want to drop to his knees right there and then. Although, he supposes, that’s what Michael wants to do regardless of what Calum is wearing, so it’s probably nothing to do with that. “You look gorgeous.” Michael has to bite his cheek to check whether he’s still alive and not, like, ascended to heaven.

“Thanks,” Michael mumbles when his mouth floods with pain and it becomes clear that yes, he is actually still alive, feeling heat rise to his cheeks from the sheer intimacy of this moment with a colleague-slash-friend-slash-soulmate-but-he-doesn’t-know-it. He’s so used to seeing Calum in the context of school that it feels strange to see him in normal clothes, standing on Michael’s doorstep.

“Are you ready, or, like, d’you want me to stand here all evening?” Calum says after a moment, and Michael steps out of the house with a scowl.

“Fuck you,” he says, trailing behind Calum as they walk to his car.

“Maybe if you’re lucky,” Calum says, and Michael chokes on his next breath. Calum, however, doesn’t seem to notice, as he’s getting into the car and starting the engine. Michael takes the opportunity to splutter for a second, re-learning how to breathe for the first time in twenty-five years, and takes a deep breath before getting in the passenger side of the car.

“What d’you reckon’s going to be on the set list?” Calum asks, reversing out of Michael’s driveway and setting off down the street. Michael hums in consideration.

“Aside from the obvious?” he says.

“No, Michael, tell me that Dear Maria’s going to be on the set list,” Calum says sarcastically. Michael scowls.

“I’d punch you if you weren’t driving,” he tells Calum, and Michael sees him grin in the dim light.

“I’ve found my shield,” Calum says, running a stop sign. Michael squawks as they swerve into the road, grabbing onto the handle on the door. Calum rolls his eyes. “Don’t be so dramatic, I’ve seen how you drive.”

“Fuck off,” Michael says, scowling, but he can’t deny it. Speed is more important than safety, is his motto - mainly because he always sets off at least ten minutes late.

“So?” Calum prompts. “Set list?”

“I hope Monsters,” Michael says. “But honestly? I’d love some of the older stuff on there too.”

“Yeah, I miss Stella being on the set list,” Calum says wistfully.

“You saw them when Stella was on the set list?”

“Yeah,” Calum says, a tad smug, and okay, fuck him.

“Fuck,” Michael says, and he can’t even disguise the envy in his voice. Calum just laughs, throwing Michael a glance, and his eyes are glittering in the sunset, making Michael’s heart hurt a little bit. “You don’t deserve that.”

“Hey,” Calum says, aiming for affronted, but he’s still grinning. “Don’t antagonise the driver.”

“I can antagonise you all I want,” Michael says. “You’re not going to kill us on the way to an All Time Low gig.”

“Might kill us on the way back, though,” Calum points out.

“Yeah, well, I can probably die happy, then,” Michael says, with a shrug.

“True,” Calum agrees. “Good music, pretty boy in the passenger seat, what more could you want?”

“Exactly,” Michael says emphatically, and it takes him until Calum’s started talking about the merits of Nothing Personal as compared to Don’t Panic to realise what Calum had just said.

Michael’s in the passenger seat.

-------

The show, as expected, is amazing.

Michael’s seen All Time Low, like, five times now, and they never fail to disappoint. He voices as such to Calum on the way home, running on a high of adrenaline and having seen Calum jumping in the pit, screaming the lyrics to every single song, which had only made Michael’s whole being-in-love-with-the-hot-PE-teacher situation a little more difficult to handle.

“Right?” Calum enthuses, speeding along the almost-empty highway. “I’ve heard it so many times, but Therapy live just hits different.”

“God, I know,” Michael groans, tipping his head back and closing his eyes, letting the memory flash in front of his eyes. “I actually heard the full band version live, once.”

“Yeah?” Calum asks, a tinge of envy in his voice. Michael savours the moment.

“Yeah,” he says, a touch smugly. “It was fucking sick.”

“I can imagine,” Calum says. “I told Alex that they should play it like that tonight, but-”

“Hang on,” Michael says, cutting Calum off, because he cannot be understanding this correctly. “Alex who?” Calum suddenly looks a little guilty.

“Uh,” he says.

“Alex who, Calum?”

“Gaskarth?” Calum offers after a moment, and Michael gapes at him.

“You know Alex Gaskarth?”

“Well, y’know, I used to be in a band, and we opened for All Time Low, and-”

“You opened for All Time Low?” Michael asks. Calum chews on his bottom lip.

“Yeah,” he says. “I’m- look, I’m sorry for not telling you, okay? I got the tickets through Alex, but I thought if I told you you might just want to go for them, like, you wouldn’t get it, and-”

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you know All Time Low,” Michael huffs, sinking down in his seat. Calum throws him a worried look, so Michael adds: “I knew there was a reason I kept you around,” which makes Calum smile as he turns into Michael’s road.

“Fuck you,” he says, but the concern is fading from his face as he parks on the road by Michael’s house this time. They both get out of the car, and then Michael hovers awkwardly by the little path that leads to his house.

“You’re a traitor,” he says, when Calum rounds the corner of his car and comes to stand opposite Michael. He’s lit up in the orange light of the streetlights, dark brown hair surrounded by a halo of amber, and Michael doesn’t think he’s seen a prettier sight in his life.

“I had to make sure you were coming for me,” Calum protests, a smile playing at his lips. Michael blinks at him.

“What do you mean?” he says, nonplussed.

“Well, y’know,” Calum says, shrugging.

“I don’t know,” Michael says. Calum looks at him oddly.

“Wait,” he says. “You...you know this was a date, right?” Michael gapes at him.

“Are you- wait, what?” Calum’s face falls, and he takes a step back, and no, no, no, that’s not what Michael wants. “Wait, no, I-”

“Fuck,” Calum says, laughing uncomfortably as he cards a hand through his hair. “I probably should have made it clearer, huh? I did say I was bad at asking out cute boys.”

“Me?” Michael’s voice is a good three octaves higher than usual. “You think I’m cute?” Calum smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

“Michael, I’ve been flirting with you since, like, the minute I saw you,” he says.

“You have?”

“Jesus Christ,” Calum mutters, and then seems to pull himself together. “Look, I’m sorry if I, like, overstepped, made things uncomfortable, whatever. I’m happy to keep it professional, and-” he cuts himself off when Michael laughs. “What?” he says, and it comes out snappy.

“Are you serious?” Michael says, and he’s grinning now, so much he thinks he probably looks a little creepy.

“You’re kind of being a dickhead, now, you know that?” Calum says, a little sharply.

“No, Calum, I- fucking hell,” Michael says, and a bubble of manic laughter escapes from him. “I’ve been kind of in love with you since, like, before we met.” Calum looks at him for a moment, expression unreadable

“Before we met?” Calum asks carefully.

“Yeah,” Michael says, nodding. “10C pointed you out, in first period, and I kind of stared at you for half the lesson.” Calum says nothing for a moment, just keeps looking at Michael, and it’s starting to get a little unnerving, when-

“Oh,” Calum says, and a small smile is creeping onto his face. “You- wait, so, like, I didn’t misread it? You do like me?”

“I mean, I did just say I was kind of in love with you, but sure, I like you," Michael says, and Calum grins, lit up by the streetlights and his happiness, and Michael thinks he’s found space in his heart that he didn’t even know he had since meeting Calum.

“So,” Calum says. “This was a date?”

“This was definitely a date,” Michael agrees, feeling his stomach flip pleasantly at the words.

“Would it be cliché to kiss you goodnight?” Calum asks, and Michael grins.

“Definitely,” he says, “but I’ll kill you if you don’t.” Calum grins back, and takes two steps forward to close the space between them, bringing a hand to Michael’s jaw and pressing his lips to Michael’s gently. It’s chaste, sweet, slow, languid, and Calum kisses like Michael’s the only thing that matters in the world. He smells like mint and pine and vanilla, pressed close to Michael’s chest, slipping an arm around Michael’s waist, and Michael groans into the kiss as he thinks about Calum’s long fingers splayed across the small of his back.

“Too much?” Calum asks, breaking away, and Michael shakes his head, pressing his forehead against Calum’s shoulder.

“Not enough,” he says, because he doesn’t think he’s ever going to get enough of Calum Hood. Calum pulls him in for a proper hug, pressing a soft kiss to his temple, and Michael’s glad Calum’s got strong arms because he feels like his knees are about to give in.

“Do you want to come in?” he mumbles against Calum’s shoulder.

“Is that a proposition?” Calum says, smile evident in his voice.

“Do you want it to be?”

“Maybe.” Michael swallows. Jesus Christ.

“Then it is.” Calum pulls back and looks at Michael, suddenly serious.

“Hey,” he says. “This isn’t- this isn’t just sex for me. I really like you, Michael. If you don’t want to, that’s okay. I want something more with you.” Michael grins.

“Have I got to repeat the whole ‘kind of in love with you’ thing again?” he says, and Calum grins back.

“Alright,” he says, and Michael hears his car squeaking to indicate it’s locked. “You’re making the excuses when we turn up to school tomorrow, though.”

-------

A few students give them strange looks when they get out of Michael’s car in the morning.

“Is this seriously the sportiest thing you own?” Calum grumbles for the fiftieth time, picking at the green hoodie and black jogging bottoms that Michael had chucked at him that morning.

“Quit complaining,” Michael says, locking the car behind them and starting across the car park to the school. “Green’s your colour.”

“Oh, that’s why you picked it,” Calum says, jogging a little to catch up with Michael.

“Yeah,” Michael says with a grin, unashamed. Calum shakes his head, but he’s grinning too.

“I’d kiss you right now if I could,” he says, as they turn into the building.

“What’s stopping you?” Michael asks, as they make their way up the stairs to the staff room.

“Uh, code of conduct? The contract I signed when I joined the school?” Michael rolls his eyes as he pushes open the door to the staff room.

“Morning!” he chirps, heading straight for the desk Luke and Ashton are already sat at, Calum in his wake.

“Morning!” a few people in the room chorus over the general buzz of post-weekend chatter.

“Hey,” Luke says loudly, frowning. “Why’s Calum wearing your clothes?”

The room goes still, and Michael just grins.

#malum #lashton #5sos fic #5sos slash #5 seconds of summer fanfiction #bro the way i can just knock out 5.6k of fic in 4 hours but spend 3 hours reading a singular academic article #do i have a brain? debatable

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perfectdisastcr · 4 years

Text

name: ashlee

star sign: virgo

height: 5′1

what’s your middle name: nicole

put your spotify/apple music on shuffle. what are the first 6 songs that popped up?: 1. do you know what i’m seeing by panic! at the disco 2. imagination by shawn mendes 3. hey look ma, i made it by panic! at the disco 4. i feel like i am changin’ by cub sport 5. steam powered giraffe by steam powered giraffe 6. heat of the moment by asia

ever had a poem/song written about you?: no, but that is the dream

when was the last time you played air guitar?: at a college football game when I was a freshman back in 2012

who is your celebrity crush?: where to begin? these are some of my faves; aaron taylor-johnson, aubrey joseph, ben barnes, bill skarsgard, casey deidrick, charlie cox, david casteneda, david tennant, james marsden, joe keery, keanu reeves, nick jonas, paul wesley, penn badgley, rami malek, robert pattinson, sam claflin, shawn mendes, and tom ellis

what’s a sound you hate; sound you love?: incessant chewing with your mouth open; rain and thunder

do you believe in ghosts?: sure, no reason not to

how about aliens?: yes, this universe is far too vast to not expect life outside of our planet

do you drive?: yes, and i actually love driving

if so have you crashed?: i’ve been in a rollover wreck, and other minor fender-benders, but never when i was behind the wheel

what was the last book you read?: currently reading the lost causes of bleak creek by rhett and link

do you like the smell of gasoline: it’s alright, i don’t hate it for short periods of time

what’s the worst injury you’ve had?: none, besides minor cuts, scrapes and bruises

do you have any obsessions right now?: wonder, the latest album by shawn mendes

do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?: i used to, and maybe i still do a tiny bit, but recently i’ve been doing a lot of meditation and observation of my own life and have started a habit of forgiving and forgetting for myself, and that includes the feelings i get when i think people have done me wrong. life is too short to hold grudges in my opinion, so i’ve learned a lot about accepting the good and the bad feelings, and working on moving on and letting go, no matter how hard that is

in a relationship?: no, and fun fact, i’ve never been in a relationship

tagged by: @the-soldier-and-the-reporter (thank you!!)

tagging: @ncwperspective, @idcnticxl, @stellaeforged, @crovnprince, @ittybittylittlebit-hot, @stcrlightx, @florxdexcerezos + (literally if you’re reading this, i want you to fill this out and post it so i can learn more about you!! and don’t forget to tag me please!!)

#outoftrash #{ always knew you'd be the one to understand me | tagging games }#[if you see this; i want you to do it!]

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kodigriffinofficial20 · 4 years

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As promised here is the filled out version of the character sheet. I know it has been a whole day later but here it is.

“Extremely detailed character sheet template”

Character Chart

Character’s full name: Benjamin Rose Steven Rodgers

Reason or meaning of name: “Benjamin” was his grandfathers name (on his fathers side) “Rose” was his grandmothers name (on his mother’s side) and because his last name is Rodgers the family wanted to put Steven in there somewhere because of Captain America.

Character’s nickname: Captain of America.

Reason for nickname: He was in the military and because of last name and rank of Captain he was dubbed “Captain America”

Birth date: November 30th 2030

Physical appearance

Age: He is 29 at the beginning of my book.

How old does he/she appear: 25ish-ish

Weight: 265

Height: 6 foot 3

Body build: very muscular.

Shape of face: I don’t know, think Steven Amell-ish

Eye color: blue

Glasses or contacts: neither.

Skin tone: kinda light but tans well. Think Alycia debnam Carey

Distinguishing marks: I don’t remember any right now.

Predominant features: I don’t know what this means.

Hair color: brown

Type of hair: I don’t know, very over grown and long. you would have to read the book to understand why.

Hairstyle: I don’t know, very over grown and long. you would have to read the book to understand why.

Voice: kinda deep but not like James earl jones. Again think Steven Amell

Overall attractiveness: Again think Steven Amell mixed with Chris Evans and a little bit of grant gustin? I don’t know that’s what I see when I picture him anyway.

Physical disabilities: can’t draw, afraid of heights, overly sarcastic, bad luck, gets injured a lot, kinda clumsy.

Usual fashion of dress: prison clothes for now.

Favorite outfit: pajamas.

Jewelry or accessories: watch, AR-15, shotgun, .45 ACP, 9mm, m4 carbine, and Kevin.

Personality

Good personality traits: loyal, stubborn, fight till last dying breath, survivor, sarcastic, funny, a leader, wise, adapts well, a good friend, trusting, trustworthy, and Macgyver like.

Bad personality traits: stubborn, sarcastic, trusting, puts himself into danger to often, not cautious enough, unlucky, clumsy, self deprecating, impatient,

Mood character is most often in: sarcastic anger and story telling indifference.

Sense of humor: sarcastic, self deprecating, light hearted.

Character’s greatest joy in life: Kevin.

Character’s greatest fear: Heights.

Why? Because heights are freaking scary man, that’s why.

What single event would most throw this character’s life into complete turmoil?

There are a lot of different things that could happen that could do that. But I can’t say any of them without spoiling the book.

Character is most at ease when: petting Kevin while reading him a book.

Most ill at ease when: when Kevin takes to long to come back from his outings.

Enraged when: a crop dies or an earthquake happens.

Depressed or sad when: one of the birds dies or When thinking about everything that has happened to him.

Priorities: escape

Life philosophy: survival and petting Kevin (which was a new addition)

If granted one wish, it would be: freedom from where he is

Why? Because he doesn’t like it there

Character’s soft spot: Kevin or an old friend from the Army named Flash.

Is this soft spot obvious to others? If it’s Kevin than no because there are no others. If it’s Flash than yes it’s very obvious.

Greatest strength: his gun abilities.

Greatest vulnerability or weakness: heights.

Biggest regret: going to prison

Minor regret: not asking some questions of Certain people.

Biggest accomplishment: Winning the Medal of Honor/silver star/Purple Heart.

Minor accomplishment: Saving America

Past failures he/she would be embarrassed to have people know about: none that I have put into the book or can think of.

Why? Because I can’t think of any.

Character’s darkest secret: I can’t tell you that.

Does anyone else know? Not even me.

Just kidding, but no, literally no one on planet earth knows but me.

Goals

Drives and motivations: survival

Immediate goals: getting out of there.

Long term goals: finding out what happened then finding Jimmy and getting revenge.

How the character plans to accomplish these goals: by blowing stuff to smithereens and walking out and then hunting him down and shooting him in the face.

How other characters will be affected: they will also be shot in the face.

Past

Hometown: Denver Nebraska USA

Type of childhood: Nice? I don’t know what the question wants from me.

Pets: one golden retriever when he was six but it died when he was 13.

First memory: going to court with his father

Most important childhood memory: his parents dying when he was 14

Why: because his parents died when he was 14

Childhood hero: his “uncle” Greg

Dream job: Army soldier

Education: high school

Religion: Christian

Finances: very good.

Present

Current location: undisclosed location in in the USA

Currently living with: Kevin

Pets: several birds

Religion: Christian

Occupation: none

Finances: none

Family

Mother: dead

Relationship with her: none but before she died it was very good

Father: dead

Relationship with him: none but before he died it was very good

Siblings: none

Relationship with them: none

Spouse: none

Relationship with him/her: none

Children: none

Relationship with them: none

Other important family members: none

Favorites

Color: blue

Least favorite color: yellow

Music: Dan+Shay

Food: Chicken Alfredo, fried chicken, steak, mashed potatoes and gravy, cheddar and broccoli soup are his favorite foods.

Literature: anything by Jules Verne or Kodi Griffin

Form of entertainment: reading

Expressions: “We’ll burn that bridge when we come to it” or when asked how things are done or how he did that he replies “fermentation”

Mode of transportation: truck or walking

Most prized possession: Kevin or AR-15

Habits

Hobbies: working out, reading, meditating, listening to music, and writing in a journal.

Plays a musical instrument? The drums but that was a long time ago.

Plays a sport? American football back in high school.

How he/she would spend a rainy day: playing in the rain or on his bed reading with Kevin.

Spending habits: none anymore.

Smokes: absolutely not.

Drinks: occasionally but not really.

Other drugs: absolutely not.

What does he/she do too much of? Danger, working out, and reading.

What does he/she do too little of? Safety

Extremely skilled at: shooting, fighting, blowing things up, surviving, getting hurt, and petting Kevin.

Extremely unskilled at: doing nothing, waiting, art, and cooking.

Nervous tics: sarcasm and biting nails.

Usual body posture: that of a soldier but sometimes a teenager.

Mannerisms: Not really sure.

Peculiarities: I don’t know.

Traits

Optimist or pessimist? A realist which I guess means he leans more on the pessimist side

Introvert or extrovert? An introverted extrovert?

Daredevil or cautious? Daredevil

Logical or emotional? Logical

Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat? Methodical and neath

Prefers working or relaxing? Working

Confident or unsure of himself/herself? Confident

Animal lover? Yes siree

Self-perception

How he/she feels about himself/herself: wants himself to live confident about his looks and doesn’t care what people think about him or his looks.

One word the character would use to describe self: fighter

One paragraph description of how the character would describe self: “A survivor until the bitter end. A fighter for freedom, peace, justice, and the American way. And if all else fails kill everything I see and be the last one standing.”

What does the character consider his/her best personality trait? His sense of humor

What does the character consider his/her worst personality trait? Judge of character.

What does the character consider his/her best physical characteristic? Eyebrows

What does the character consider his/her worst physical characteristic? Hands

How does the character think others perceive him/her: He doesn’t care about what others think of him because he is his own man and his own self worth is what truly matters.

What would the character most like to change about himself/herself: the way he approaches certain things

Relationships with others

Opinion of other people in general: doesn’t like them all that much. yes people are needed but most of them he don’t care for

Does the character hide his/her true opinions and emotions from others? Yes

Person character most hates: jimmy

Best friend(s): Flash and Kevin

Love interest(s): none, at any point in my book

Person character goes to for advice: none maybe Kevin

Person character feels responsible for or takes care of: Kevin

Person character feels shy or awkward around: none

Person character openly admires: Kevin

Person character secretly admires: Kevin

Most important person in character’s life before story starts: Flash

After story starts: Kevin

#writebler #writing templates #writeblr positivity #writing resources #write #writers #writing #free write #writer #writeaway #l writes #my charcters #character template #characters #original character #fictional characters

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orderoftheavengers · 5 years

Photo

Infinity Wand

Summary: I recognize that "Endgame" is now a movie. But given that it's a stupid-ass one, I'm electing to re-write it.

Ashes to Ashes, a new Dark Lord

The Avengers' final school year ends on a low note, with Thanos turning half of the world's population to ash with a flick of his Infinity Wand. Not only are half of all living things now gone, but Thanos has evened out the number of Muggles, Wizards and non-Human Beings in the universe, leading to the loss of almost the entire Muggle population.

Thanos now rules the planet with his Infinity Wand. Muggles were exposed to the magical world overnight, in the most horrifying way possible. Imagine preparing for a zombie apocalypse our whole life, only to suddenly instead see half your family crumble to ash, followed by a grape giant declaring himself your new Dark Lord.

All wizard schools are taken over by Thanos's minions, with a not-quite-dead Professor Squidward named the new Headmaster of Hogwarts. All the surviving students and Avengers must pretend to obey the slimy new Headmaster, and plan their continued fights in secret.

No Trust, Liar

Tony Stark and Nebula are left stranded in the ruins of Salazar Slytherin's palace, with no transportation. (Milano, the dragon that the Guardians of the Realm's house sits on the back of, was disintegrated by Thanos.) The two Slytherins develop a strong bond, and adopt each other. Tony teaches Nebula the Muggle sport of paper football, and Nebula drapes blankets over Tony after he's passed out. Just before they die of starvation and exposure, an unusually powerful vampire appears out of nowhere, hauls them each up in one arm, and flies them back to Hogwarts.

A tearful reunion follows in the Avengers' tower. Tony then lets out two years worth of rage at Steve Rogers, before collapsing to the floor and being taken to the Hospital Wing, where Bruce has to give him a literal sedative. That's when

Pepper lashes out at Steve for lying to Tony about his parents, and everything during the drunken Quidditch brawl. Rhodey tries to pacify her; as a military student himself, he guessed early on the real reason for Steve's lie, hence why he was so forgiving when they reunited during the Infinity War.

Steve then goes to the Hospital Wing, where Tony is still seemingly out cold. Steve finally pours out a real apology, warts and all, no excuses, with real emotion and tears. Mad-Eye Fury ordered Nat and Steve to stay quiet about Tony's parents, because Nick, like Stephanigus Strange , deduced that Tony was one of the world's most important defences against Thanos, and didn't want Earth's best defender getting sidetracked and killed on a quest for revenge. Steve never let Fury's orders stop him from doing what he wanted, and he admits now that the only thing stopping him from telling Tony was that he was a coward and he was selfish. He was afraid of Tony going after Bucky, or simply refusing to loan Steve his resources to look for him. He didn't write Tony a real apology after the "Civil War" because Steve has spent the last seven years shielding himself with corny cliches and heroic trappings. Tony wakes up while Steve is starting to cry, and states plainly that he doesn't think he'll ever be capable of forgiving him.

His rage returning, Tony adds, "Nice of you to finally give a real apology after two years though. Only took all your favorite friends dying." Rolling over he repeats, "No trust. Liar."

Last Hope, Crushed

For a brief moment, the Avengers think they had a chance to undo the Dusting Curse.

"Get Time Turners from the Ministry of Magic!" Nat says. "Use them to get our own set of Infinity Stones, fight Thanos, and bring everyone back!"

Since Hermione Granger was among the Dusted, she can't loan them her own Time Turner. But the Order of the Avengers, and their new allies, are able to break into the now Thanos-controlled Ministry....only to find that Thanos has destroyed all of the Time Turners, to prevent exactly what they were trying to do. Conveniently, everyone who knew how to make a Time Turner has been Dusted. And on top of that, he's also Dusted the Avengers' and Guardians' resident telepaths ("completely random" my ass).

Bruce screams at the purple bastard, "Why the hell didn't you just use the Time Turners, or the Time Stone, or all the stones, to make more resources, instead of killing trillions?!" just before Nat drags him out the window by the tail during their escape.

Worst Summer Ever

This following summer break is the worst the Order of the Avengers have ever had.

When the Dusting spell was cast, Clint Barton is at the family cottage with his younger brothers and sisters. His oldest sister is preparing a picnic, while Clint teaches his youngest sister an arrow spell. Having accepted his expulsion from Hogwarts following the UnCivil Quidditch Brawl, Clint is taking the rest of the school year off, and considering his job options. Then, suddenly, all of his younger siblings are ash. This breaks the Hufflepuff, who promised their parents before they died that he'd protect his little brothers and sisters. Clint drops his Hawkeye moniker and becomes Ronin the Barbarian. Outraged by the injustice of the Dusting Spell, Clint hunts down evil people, wizard and Muggle alike, with the Sword of Helga Hufflepuff.

Bruce Banner undergoes the most obvious change. After weeks of being unable to come out, the Wolf finally returns full force, after seeing half his friends Dusted. It takes Thor, Carol and Nebula to subdue the Wolf. Since both Wanda and Mantis are now dust, only traditional magical science can help the giant green werewolf. Tony teams up with Princess Shrui--who was not dusted--to help solve Bruce's dilemma. With the help of all his friends, Bruce slowly makes peace with "the furry guy," as both are now in 100% agreement in their fury and devastation. Bruce then undergoes a new transformation, becoming a humanoid, rationally-thinking werewolf. He takes on the name "Professor Wolf," and gains some new fangirls amongst the surviving Muggle population (mainly the Muggles who frequent DeviantArt and Fur Affinity).

For Tony and Pepper, there is a tiny grain of happiness, encompassed by more fear, when Pepper discovers she is pregnant. They plan to name the child after her eccentric, possibly-magical uncle Morgan. Tony gets them a cottage by a lake, near Bill and Fleur's place, walled off with protective spells. But everyone still lives in terror of Thanos. Tony's Slytherin will is temporarily snuffed out, save his determination to keep Pepper and the baby safe.

Steve Rogers, who during the Infinity War proved to have recovered from his out-of-character antics during the drunken Quidditch Civil War, is devastated by all the loss, especially Bucky crumbling to dust right before him. Steve often looks at his compass, inside of which he has stuck Peggy Carter's wizard card, not because he is abruptly obsessing over an old flame, but because he's wondering what someone he admired would be telling him to do now. He decides to start leading therapy groups, like Sam did. Steve occasionally goes on tangents about his own comparatively minor troubles, but this is a quirk the world has simply come to accept from the Gryffindor.

Thor is arguably in the worst position. His entire family has died one by one, plus the wise family owl Heimdall, and the mountain region of Asgard has been destroyed, along with three forths of the Asgardian population (first half were slaughtered by Thanos's army, and then half of the surviving half were Dusted). Since Hogsmede now has some extra space, the surviving Asgardians are able to get a new neighborhood there. Thor spends most of his time in his apartment above the Three Broomsticks, playing Muggle video games with his friends, and spiraling into alcoholism and overeating.

Natasha Romanoff locks herself up in the Ravenclaw tower and becomes a workaholic, obsessively monitoring the surviving populations around the world, and organizing remaining vigilantes still fighting to protect the innocent from Thanos. The only thing she does for herself is Metamorph her hair into a cool ombre sunset motif.

Carol Danvers isn't around much. "There are a lot of intelligent species in the magic world, and most of them don't have an Order of the Avengers." She keeps in touch with Natasha via the Floo Network, though. But Mad-Eye Fury didn't contact Carol for nothing. What makes her so special? Her connections. Nick knew Carol had a whole Realm of species to protect, and promised to only bother her with (living) humans if something that directly and immediately threatened all populations came up. Carol is now flying around the planet, rallying Vampires and other Beings in the effort to defy Thanos. She also gets a rather boss haircut.

Nebula plots her revenge on Thanos, while also checking on Tony and Pepper. When the time comes, Nebula is even in the delivery room.

Scott Lang is still trapped in the Spirit Realm, and thought to be among the Dusted....

The Ant-Nimagus Returns!

At the end of his last adventure, Scott Lang entered the Spirit Realm to collect ectoplasm (basically ghost-sh!t) to help his new ghostly friend, Ava Starr. Unfortunately the entire Pym/Van Dyne family was dusted, along with Ava, and Scott was left stranded in Limbo for the entire summer....

Then, just as the leaves were beginning to change, one of the Weasley family rats (Scabbers XIV) chews away at the magic veil Scott vanished behind, and finally opened up a portal wide enough for Scott to escape. Scott is confused and horrified when he stumbles onto the street and finds trees covered in Missing posters, accompanied by Ordinances signed by "the Dark Lord Thanos." And Muggle news sources talking about magic?!

Rushing to his ex's house, Scott is both relieved and frightened to be greeted by his now teenage daughter.

After the tearful reunion, Scott asks, "How many years was I gone Cassie? It felt like three hours."

"It was three months Dad," Casseopia Lang replies. "I had another fay growth spurt in that time."

(Cassie Lang is part nymph, and ages more quickly than her peers.)

"Wow, we're like, almost the same age now. This is awkward."

"Mom and Jim are dust."

"And depressing."

Scott finds his way to Steve and Nat, who are flabbergasted but overjoyed to find him alive. Scott is crushed to learn that all three of his crime-buddies are now piles of ash in the Slytherin common-room. Scott arranges the three piles into neat circles, into which he draws crude emote faces to represent how he best remembers each of them.

Scott is able to bring something to the table that even Carol Danvers lacks; knowledge of the Spirit Realm, which exists outside the Spacetime Continuum, and thus can be used for Time Travel. In fact, it turns out that this Realm was regularly used by the Ministry in the Manufacturing of Time Turners...

Lab Gang Learning about this new hope, Tony is at first apprehensive. By now, more months have passed, and Pepper has given birth to a baby girl. Tony doesn't want to lose Morgan or Pepper, or endanger more lives, in an attempt to defy Thanos. But a glance at a wizard-photo of him goofing off with his little Ravenclaw has him change his mind. Tony flies back to the Avengers' tower at Hogwarts, and tells Steve he's done letting resentment eat away at him, and presents Steve with a new shield. Since Steve has already given a full, satisfying, heartfelt apology and explanation, that the audience saw every detail of and didn't have to head-canon up for themselves, Tony's forgiveness makes perfect sense and has the exact emotional impact its writers intend for it to (breaks keyboard while typing). Now, the smartest wizards have to figure out how to use the Spirit Realm for time travel. Deep in Snape's old Potions dungeon, Tony, Bruce, Rocket, and Shuri--who was not Dusted!--all get together to brainstorm. The four geniuses exchange ingenuity and banter, and it is brilliant. Rocket, a niffler, is enamored with Tony’s chest amulet, and steals it, causing some health problems for Tony. This angers Professor Wolf, who chases the niffler/raccoon hybrid around the lab until he catches him and makes him into a violent chew toy. Shuri snags Rocket from the Wolf, and the amulet from Rocket. Struck with inspiration, the Wakandan princess makes some adjustments to the amulet, to Tony’s embarrassment and begrudging awe. This leads to a “eureka!” moment for the four of them, in regards to the Time Travel problem, and they finally get it solved. Meanwhile, Nat, using her metemorphmagus spy skills, finally tracks Clint Barton down in Japan, where he is slaying evil Vampires with the Sword of Hufflepuff (an opal-encrusted katana). He apparently also used the sword to try cutting his hair, hence his disastrous new do. Nat tells Clint they may have a way to bring his family back, and possibly even fix his hair. With this new glimmer of hope, Clint returns to Hogwarts.

Time Heist! Tony and Scott first attempt to use their combined Slythrin cunning to stal the Mind Stone from the Avengers' first battle with Loki, but succeed only in amusing shenanigans and observing Amreica's ass. Figuring it may be better to combine opposite skills, Tony and Steve then decide to try a Slytherin/Gryffindor team-up, and they go further back to the 1970s. There, they find help from the Maurauders, who are more than happy to break some rules and help with a heist, even for two guys they don't know. Steve sees Peggy, carrying on with her life, and watches her with a mixture of sad longing, and happiness that she's moved on. Tony meanwhile meets his father Howard, and discusses parenthood with him. Howard goes on about how "unqualified" he feels, and how he'd do anything for his coming baby, and Tony is reminded once more how full of sh*t his father always was. But since the bastard died an admittedly horrible death, Tony hugs and thanks him anyway, before yeeting off with the Stone. Steve starts to apologize once again, but Tony cuts him off. Tony's cunning and Steve's daring result in a success, and they return to the present time with the Mind Stone. Thor and Rocket travel to Asgard's past, to get the Reality Stone. Thor reunites with his mother, and sees he's still worthy of his hammer/broom, which he brings back with him to the present. Before he leaves, Queen Frigga tells him, "It's time to start being who you are, rather than who you're 'supposed' to be." "Are you telling me to step down from my throne?" "...step down? After your first five years were less than ideal? You're barely 1500 years old, my son. What I'm saying is, you could take a bit of time off to find yourself. A decade or two of vacation, having adventures with your rabbit friend, maybe. And you can even stay fat for a few centuries if you want. But why in the world would I be suggesting that you should throw away all you've fought for, just because of how things turned out over the last half-decade?" "I'm sorry Mother...living with Midgardians must've gone to my head. Though, I always was rather impulsive anyway." Rhodey and Nebula meanwhile travel to the Forbidden Forest, where Star Lord is about to steal the Power Stone from a heavily guarded cave. Rhodey and Nebula get along well, both now being close friends of Tony's, and both having been magically modified against their wills. (Rhodey, still a merman, must rely on his silver broom for transportation above water.) The pair interrupts Quill's opening dance number with Petrificus Totalus, and snag the Stone. Past-Thanos learns what they're up to, and almost follows them back to the present time, but Nebula kills her evil past self and past-Thanos, gaining some much-needed catharsis for herself. Past Gamora, however, stows away aboard Nebula's broom, as she and Rhodey fly back through the Spirit Realm to the present. Bruce gets the Time Stone from fellow a Ravenclaw, the Ancient One. Not battle or trickery is needed for this one; just honest, Ravencalw-to-Ravenclaw reasoning. When Bruce tells her about Strange sacrificing the Time Stone to save Tony, she realizes what this must mean, and hands the Stone over to Bruce. "But you must promise to return it, and restore the timeline." "I swear, my Lady, there is no one amongst the Order of the Avengers who would ever even consider messing up the Timeline for any reason, no matter how tempted they are." Nat and Clint go back in time to the palace of Salazar Slythrin, where Red Skull explains the trade for the Time Stone. Hufflepuff Clint naturally wants to be the one to die; he's already lost his family, he can't bear to lose his best friend as well. And he feels he deserves death, for the violent way he handled the loss of his family. But Nat, ever the pragmatic Ravenclaw, remembers that this death may not be permanent; and if god forbid it is, Clint's family will need him, and the world will need as many stable families like Clint's as possible, to rebuild. And she has a lot more red on her ledger to die for than he does. So she sacrifices herself. This apparent loss crushes the Avengers. The stereotype that Ravenclaws are just cold intellectual machines is BS; Nat was introspective and witty, and at the center of the heart of thee Order. And she never got to have a family. They sit in front of the Hogwarts lake, taking in her death.

Bruce roars, and tosses a bench into the lake. The kids sitting on the bench, Teddy Lupin and Victoire Weasley, barely react, as they too were close with Nat and are mourning her. Even the Giant Squid is too sad to be bothered by the littering of his lake. "We'll bring her back," Steve says sternly, as tears stream down his face. "It can't be undone," Clint chokes. "Sure it can't," Tony says clenching his jaw. "Just like Time Travel and bringing back the Dusted is impossible. When this is over, we won't need the Stone anymore, and we'll still have Time Travel." The Un-Dusting Tony builds a new Infinity Wand for the Avengers' set of Stones. Naturally, he designs the wand with the same red motif as his own--but this isn't just Tony's diva ego flashing again. He has always seen it has his own duty to defeat Thanos. His mind is temporarily changed when he attempts to use the Infinity Wand, and nearly passes out just from holding it with all the stones. Only Professor Wolf is strong enough to wield it with relative ease, and even he howls with pain as he flicks it. Thanos (the real, current Thanos, who is not dead) senses at once that a new Infinity Wand has been created and used, and attacks Hogwarts. The Avengers prepare to face him themselves, Bruce still weilding the Infinity Wand in his furry green paw, when suddenly portals open up around the school. Stephanigus Strange is back, along with all of the Dusted! Steve Rogers is frozen as he watches Sam and Bucky fly towards him on their brooms, coming from the left and right respectively. Bucky stares at Steve with scolding eyes, and says, "I told you not to do anything stupid," before barreling into him with a hug. Meanwhile, an adorkable little Ravenclaw in a spider-themed cloak swings up to Tony, and begins babbling about how wild it is to be back from the dusted, only to be interrupted by a tight hug. "Oh, this is nice!" As Tony crushes his surrogate baby brother, his eyes meet Bucky's, who is stilll crushing Steve. It's a silent, wet-eyed, exchange of forgiveness between the two of them. Then Tony notices Professor Squidward raising his wand behind Bucky and Steve. In one slick movement, Tony shoves Peter behind him, whips out his own wand, and blasts Squidward into a thousand gory pices of sushi. Bucky returns the favor a moment later, blasting a Thanos-minion that was coming up on Tony and Peter, before leaping over and finishing the villain off with some loud vampiric slurping. Bruce searches desperately for Natasha, and can't find her. He has a sickening feeling she wasn't revived. Vision and Gamora aren't seen either.... But all of the other the Guardians of the Realm are back. King T'Challa leaps through a portal, roaring and changing into his panther form in mid-jump. Wanda Maximoff soars out of the Wakanda portal, no broom or wand, running purely on her own scarlet magic. A pixie buzzes over to Scott, and Hope Van Dyne reverts to her usual size. A white ghostly blur gradually solidifies into Ava Starr, emerging through a slightly irritated Stephen Strange. Valkyrie flies in on her Pegasus, accompanied by all of the Asgardians, including Thor's new eccentric friends from "Ragnarok." From the next portal comes Nicademus Fury and Maria Underhill, ready to kick ass, and not about to miss out on this epic showdown battle, because that would just be jackalope-sh*t. From the next portal comes Lady Sif, Sharyn Carter, Christine Everhart, Bill Foster, and Galaga Guy. From the next, Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Ron, Hagrid, and all of the main heroes from their generation (all having been Dusted). Portals open from wizarding schools around the world--Ilvermorny, Durmstrang, Beaubaxtons, Mahoutokoro, and Xavier's School for Gifted Wizards. From the final portal emereges Eddie Brock/Venom, Deadpool, and DarkWing Duck. And now the most epic battle in wizard history begins. Battle for Hogwarts The red Infinity Wand is tossed between the strongest Avengers during the battle, each of whom gets a turn using it against Thanos's original model. Bruce and the Wolf fight Thanos once more, now together, and wielding the red Infinity Wand. Professor Wolf is struggling to simply turn Thanos and his minions to dust, but it's one Infinity Wand up against another. As the two Infinity Wands blast against each other, a light begins to glow in the middle of the two spells. Bruce suddenly hears a familiar voice, half in his head. "Bruce, give someone else a turn." Natasha--or a ghostly version of her--is emerging from the middle of the two Infinity Wands' spells. "Priori Incantatem!" shouts Shuri, from her blue-and-silver panther broom. "Or something like it! Two sets of Infinity Stones blasting against each other, their past spells are regurgitating!" The moment of shock distracts Bruce long enough for Thanos to blast him to the ground. The grape bastard is about to pick up the other Infinity Wand, but spirit-Nat delivers a kick to his face. It's not a huge amount of damage--she only has the typical strength of a very angry poltergeist--but it buys enough time for Spidey to swing by and snag up the wand with his web. The little Ravenclaw trembles with the Infinity Wand in his hand; he's stronger than the average wizard, but maybe not quite strong enough to wield an Infinity Wand without harming himself. Thanos and his minions close in on him, and Thanos raises his own Infinity Wand towards Peter. The two Infinity Wands clash against each other once more, and another ghost emerges--Gamora. "I won't let you hurt another orphan!" ghost-Gamora screams, flying at her "father's" putrid head with her green fists raised. Below, past-Gamora watches in awe, as the revenge she's alwasy dreamed of starts to come true before her eyes. Seemingly all of the witches in the battle fly over and form a motherly wall between Thanos and Spidey, with ghost-Gamora and Nat in the lead. Valkyrie flies over on her Pegasus, and Ava Star comes running out of a Hogwarts castle wall. Pepper Potts is also there, with a new shinny purple broom and wand. Wanda Maxmoff and Jean Gray exchange a glance, silently admiring each other's red magic motifs, while Storm brings in some extra lightning for Thor. While the two Infinity ghosts of Nat and Gamora wrestle Thanos, Carol Danvers leaps over and snags the red Infinity Wand from Peter, just before the poor kid collapses. Thanos throws the two spirits off of him, and blasts at Carol. Now it's Captain Marvel's turn to have an Infinity duel with the Dark Lord. Thanos head-butts Carol, which does nothing to the vampire. An armada of dragons closes in, and Carol blasts them all with the Infinity Wand. She tries to turn Thanos and his minions to dust, but he stops her with his own Wand. Once again, two Infinity Wands clash. Carol's holding it against Thanos good, but one of the grape f**ker's minions delivers a cheap blast to her back, sending Carol spinning into the air, and the red Infinity Wand into Thanos's outstretched hand. The purple Dark Lord now wields both Infinity Wands. Worthy Thor raises Mjolnir, now in hammer form (it can switch between hammer and broom), in one hand, and Stormbreaker in the other, hoping his two weapons might be at least a momentary match for the two Infinity Wands. Unfortunately, Thanos instantly blasts Mjolnir out of Thor's hand, though Thor manages to keep a hold of the ax. A corny Mexican tune suddenly honks through the battlefield. Ant-Man's three friends are back, and they've made a quick heist on the way to the courtyard. They're flying in on their magical musical carpet. "Hey Scotty," Luis bellows, "Sorry we're late. Here, this thing's like a magical-sword vending machine or something, right?" And he tosses down the Sorting Hat. Scott, currently a giant ant, fails to catch the hat in his whale-sized pincers. But Janet Van Dyne flies by and grabs the Sorting Hat. Her daughter, in miniature-pixy form, soars into the Hat. Hope comes out, full-sized, wielding a Japanese-styled Katnana, with an elegant bronze handle shaped like an eagle, encrusted with sapphires: the Sword of Ravenclaw. Janet tosses the Hat down to Sam Wilson, yelling, "Pass it around!" Sam pulls out the Sword of Hufflepuff. "Isn't this yours?" he asks Clint, who refuses it. "I got my arrows." Clint says, blasting his arrow spells from his wand like a machine gun. Sam gives a curt nod. The young animagus then takes his Falcon form, clutching the sword in his talons, and tossing the Sorting Hat to Nebula. The blue chimera draws the silver, serpentine Sword of Slytherin--once her sister Gamora's personal weapon. Rhodey swoops by on his broom, slapping the Hat into the air with his merman-tail, and in midair, drawing the Sword of Gryffindor. There is one last weapon to be picked up. Mjolnir is lifted from the ground, with a clash of thunder. Steve Rogers is finally worthy to lift Mjolnir, now that he has finally owned all of his past faults and grown out of previous shallow idea of heroism, in a well-done arc that the audience saw in detail and didn't have to head-canon up for themselves (smashes computer and tosses it out the window). Everyone is now armed with some uniquely badass weapon, gathered behind the Cap. Holding the hammer and shield, Steve finally bellows, "Avengers, assemble!" Scott Lang is now in his largest Ant-Nimagus form, putting Them! to shame, tossing Thanos's minions aside like action figures. Assisting him is the Giant Squid. Hope speeds through the field with Ravenclaw's Katana like a samurai Tinkerbell, sending heads flying. Ava Starr runs through a string of Thanos's minions, ripping out their hearts as she does, making a bloody set of dominoes. She tries doing the same to Thanos, but his Infinity Wand makes it impossible for her to go through his body. Scott has also learned that the "going up Thanos's ass" trick won't work, since it turns out that Titans have no assholes. So he continues to kick ass as a giant ant. Pepper and Tony fight side by side on their badass Iron-brooms with the badass Iron-wands. Groot does his vine-of-death thing. Venom eats bad guys, while in the shape of a sexy woman. Bucky and Rocket are being closed in by a circle of Thanos's minions. So Bucky lets Rocket remove his metal arm. Bucky fights the foes in front of him with his human fist, wand, and vampire teeth, while Rocket rides the enchanted armor-arm like a broom, steering it towards villains that it strangles, punches, or pokes the eyeballs out of. (Bucky can control his arm even when it isn't attached to him.) Wanda Maximoff flies over (no broom required) to help Steve and Thor. The latter two hold off the blast from the red Infinity Wand, Cap using his shield and Mjolnir, and Thor using Stormbreaker and his other bare hand. Wanda Maximoff hisses at Thanos, "You took everything from me!" and with her bare hands, contains the original gold Infinity Wand with her scarlet magic. She puts all her effort into destroying it, with the image of Vision strong in her mind (har, har). She manages to make Thanos's Mind Stone crack, just a tad, and out of the crack flies the ghost of her lover. Tears well up in Wanda's eyes, but she doesn't let go. The ghosts of Gamora, Natasha and Vision join Wanda, each taking a hold of the wand and crushing as hard as their ghostly hands can manage. Finally, Thanos's Infinity Wand is destroyed in an explosion of light, that knocks everyone in a hundred mile radius to the ground. Inevitable There is one Infininty Wand left now. It is sitting in the middle of the courtyard. Thanos and Tony both make a dive for it. As they struggle over the wand, Thanos sneers, "I will destroy this universe down to the last molecule, and create a new one in its place." "They'll never accept you!" Tony snaps. "They'll never know." Tony's face says it all. After everything he's experienced, that is indeed a loaded phrase for Tony to hear. Thanos throws Tony off, knocking him into the castle wall. "I am inevitable!" he says raising his wand....only to realize he has no wand. Tony, bruised and bloodied, pushes himself up, and holds up the red Infinity Wand. "And I...am...Iron Man." No incantations are required for this killing curse; just pure unstoppable will. Thanos's fat purple jaw drops as his minions crumble to dust around him. The Titan's own will and power being abnormally strong, he resists the Dusting for a few moments of struggle. But then, both Gamoras--the ghost that emerged from the Infinity Wands, and the physical version from the past--leap at their "father" from opposite directions, the latter now wielding the Sword of Slytheirn. Past-Gamora stabs Thanos through the heart, and says just loud enough for him to hear, "For my real parents." Before he dies, Thanos sees himself in a field, facing a young Gamora, the child he orphaned and kidnapped all those years ago. "You love nothing," the green child says locking eyes with him. "And so you have nothing. You are nothing." She, the field, and Thanos's entire universe disintegrate, as the Titan crumbles into a pile of ash. You Promised When the dust settles, there is only one Gamora. The Infinity-Ghost has merged with the past body. She shakily rises to her feet, tears falling down her green face. "Gamora!" Peter Quill, who hasn't had a chance to speak to her yet, tears across the field to her. For a moment, it looks like they're about to kiss. Gamora chokes, "Peter..." and then knees him in the balls. She finishes with a hiss, "You promised!" Clutching his shattered bludgers, Quill retorts in a strained voice, "Hypocrite!" He is referring to the fact that Gamora couldn't sacrifice her sister to keep the Stone from Thanos. Gamora makes an admitting face, helps him up, and now they kiss. ...Mr. Stark? "We won!" Peter Parker shakes a barely conscious Tony, who is slumped against the castle wall. Half of Tony's face is burned, and the blue light from his chest amulet is flickering. "Sir! Can you hear me?" Everyone is crowded around Antonius Stark. It's unbelievable that an ordinary human wizard, with no extra powers, was able to wield the Infinity Wand at all, much less still be even a little bit alive after doing so. Tony's willpower is abnormally strong, even for a Slytherin. There was a reason he had Thanos's "respect." Pepper knows Tony literally will not rest, in any sense of the word, until he knows everyone is safe. "Tony, we're all gonna be fine." Pepper says keeling beside him. "You can rest now." The light goes out. Not our Steve! Tony is rushed to Wakanda. He has been declared "dead," but magical medicine is improving every day. Meanwhile, someone needs to return the remaining Infinity Stones to their proper time periods, to keep the timeline in tact. Since Steve Rogers is the only Avenger bland enough not to draw any attention to himself even if he tried, he is the perfect candidate. "Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone," Steve says to Bucky. "How can I," Bucky repeats, "You're taking all the stupid with you." Steve strides through the veil into the Spirit Realm, to begin his Time Travel.... ...and he doesn't come back when he's supposed to. "I don't know what happened!" Professor Wolf says in dismay. "He just missed his jump..." Sam notices someone on a nearby bench, and breathes to himself, "Oh, hell no...."

The old wizard sitting on the bench is hunched and wrinkled, and has a long old-wizard beard tied with an American flag styled bow.

“S-Steve?” Sam stammers. “WTF?”

The old wizard smiles. “I decided to try that 'life' thing Tony was always telling me about. So I stayed in my old timeline and got married to the woman of my dreams.” "Peggy?" Sam exclaimed. "She had her own full life after you! She had a husband and kids! I think her husband was a one-legged veteran! You're telling me you stole a one-legged vet's wife and erased their kids, so you could have a woman you kissed once 70 years ago?" "Maybe the one-legged vet wasn't ever her husband." Old-Steve retorts. "Maybe it was me, all along!"

Bucky interjects, “I don’t suppose in all those years you were with Peggy, you found any time to save me from being Hydra’s puppet, or being forced to kill all those people, like Howard and his wife?”

“Erm…" Old-Steve shifts on the bench.

“Speaking of Tony,” Bruce Banner growls, “Were you able to use this opportunity of time travel to bring him, Natasha, Vision, and all our other fallen comrades back?”

“I mustn't alter the timeline, fellas.” Old-Steve replies.

“Hey wait a sec,” Sam says, “You spent 70 years letting your wife clock into the Order of the SHIELD knowing the whole time she was working for Hydra and not even knowing it?”

“Temporal Prime Directive,” Old-Steve grunts.

Bruce, clenching his green furry fists, asks, “So did you ever bob your niece on your knee? You know, the one you snogged?”

“Adam and Eve were brother and sister.” Steve defends simply.

Bucky exclaims, "You couldn't use this time-travel to save anybody from any of the horrible things you witnessed over 70 years, but you were fine erasing Peggy and Daniel's kids?!"

"See," Old-Steve held up a hand to explain. “When we travel back in time, it makes a new timeline. So you don’t know for a fact that any of those awful implications are even true at all. I might have saved all of you in that other timeline I created, and stopped Bucky from becoming the Winter Soldier, and Tony from becoming an orphan--" "And abandoned me for a better version of me?" Bucky finishes.

Before Steve can reply, Bruce demands, “If it’s another timeline then how’d you get back to this one? That cop out doesn't work at all Steve!”

A familiar voice interrupts, "Seriously you guys? You really think that thing could ever be me?”

The real Steve Rogers–still the same age as he was when he went to return the stones–enters the field, his face crestfallen. “How could any of you believe that this bastardization with my face is the real Steve Rogers, even for half a second?”

Sam mutters, “Well it wouldn’t be the first time you were wildly out of character….” "WE WERE ALL DRUNK DURING THE CIVIL WAR QUIDDITCH MATCH!" (real) Steve exclaims. "Can't I ever live that down?" The false-Steve says, "No, but you can live with Peggy, in the past. The opportunity is still there, Rogers." Another familiar, snarkier, voice cuts in: "Hold on, I've got the remote." Tony Stark comes up behind Steve, half his face scarred with burns, and one of his robe sleeves flying emptily. In his remaining hand, his red Iron-wand is pointed at the impostor. "RIDDICULOUS!"

The old-Steve transforms into a younger Steve, dancing around the field wearing only a whipped cream bra and briefs.

Here's What Really Happened “A boggart!” a dazed Bruce realizes, watching the false "Steve" do a slow strip tease. “But it’s usually the moon for me…”

“Mine’s the Winter Soldier,” Bucky muses.

Sam finishes, “And mine’s a copy of the ‘Star Wars’ Christmas Special." "But all three of you were standing so close together," Natasha Romanoff--very much alive--enters behind Tony and Steve, arms folded. "So it had to take a form that would horrify you all at once." Bruce breaks out of his daze, and barrels into Tony and Nat with a giant furry green hug. "Nat! Tony!...how?" "Same as Gamora," Nat says, returning the hug. "I came out when the two Infinity Wands clashed. Steve made one tiny change in the timeline when returning the stones, to bring me a body. I have memories of falling to my death, even feeling my body hit the ground. But I also remember Steve popping out of a portal just before I fell to my death, and watching him have a badass duel with Red Skull. It's like waking up from a dream and not knowing what to believe." Tony pointed at her. "Don't go stealing lines from underrated movies like 'Frequency!'" turning to Bruce he explains, "I guess when I slaughtered Thanos's minions, I accidentally turned my amulet into a horcrux. I'm down one arm, but Shuri was able to pump some new life into my body with some donated vampire blood from Bucky and Carol, and as long as I keep this thing on, I'll mostly stay in one piece. But I can also take it off and turn into Tony the Unfriendly Ghost. It's pretty sweet, in an existentially horrifying way." "Don't lie Tones," Nat elbows him. "You'd never miss a chance to be the epitome of both angst and scientific advancement."

"Then...everyone's back?" Sam asks. "Not everyone," Wanda replies heavily, entering the field. Next to her is Princess Shuri. "The Mind Stone from Tony's Infinity Wand had to be returned to its original time period," Suri begins. "The Mind Stone from ours is destroyed, with the rest of Thanos's Infinity Wand. I tried to save him, I was sure he could live without the stone...." "It was always highly experimental," Wanda finishes. After some grieving, the Order of the Avengers all go out to the Three Broomsticks for a bittersweet dinner and round of drinks.

Epilogue: Tony Stark has finally found the perfect job for him, as the Defense Against the Dark Arts Teachers of Hogwarts. Tony was born for the job, on its two most important grounds: Iron Man is obviously the epitome of "defense against the dark arts;" and since being a D.A.D.A. teacher always means suffering some horrible fate at the end of the semester, this too is Tony's life in a nutshell. No teacher before has been willing to return for another semester, after ending their first one memory-wiped, disintegrated, locked in a chest, or soul-sucked by a Dementor. But for Tony, such things are the story of his life. He always has the summer to recuperate. He also has a new magical red-and-gold armor-arm, so that keeps him pretty entertained. More important though, he has Morgan and Pepper. "I love you 3000." Steve Rogers decides to indeed "try that life thing Tony's always talking about," but without ****ing the timeline. He returns to his home country, and coaches Quadpod (the explosive American version of Quidditch), at Ilvermorny School of Magic. Either Sam or Bucky will carry on his moniker as Captain America, and his embarrassing portrait in the Gryffindor Quidditch pit will carry on his inspirational speeches and moral lectures. Thor plans to find a proper new home for his people. Joining the Guardians of the Realm, he is on the lookout for any unclaimed mountain range or forest that can be called New Asgard. In the meantime, he has left Valkyrie in his stead, back at their burrow in Hogsmede. Nat is teaching Transfiguration, and Clint, Magical Archery. And "Professor Wolf" is in the dungeons, teaching Potions. Bruce can alternate between any of his three forms at will, and actually tends to teach in his boring, adorkable human form (with only the green tail). After curing Bucky's mind-control, almost saving Vision's life, and curing Everett Ross's near-fatal wounds in hours, Shuri finally has managed to fix Rhodey's legs. He has spent the last month going through the very long list of "asses that need kicking" that he's been accumulating since his accident. Wanda and Bucky are growing close, though Ava might make it a love triangle. Or she might simply be the couple's "little sister." Tony and Shuri are constantly competing to give Bucky a better new arm every month, and Bucky is... (cough)...stockpiling arms. (Dodges tomatoes.) Bucky, Tony and Nebula regularly have magical metal arm-wrestling contests. Bucky, Tony and Wanda are also all extremely protective of each other, after their guilt complexes regarding one another. Carol Danvers continues to patrol the non-Human societies of the planet, and is now dating Valkyrie. And Peter Parker is preparing for a trip abroad, and graduation. He's scared of adulthood, of no longer being dependent on Aunt May or Mr. Stark, but he will take it in stride. Notes: Willikers! Holy mustache! This was a trip. To honestly justify each characters' Sorting, I have to stick to their main defining moments in canon. I basically decided to keep the most iconic scenes of "Endgame," while giving it a better plot and climax. And ending. By god, the ending. By god, Steve Rogers. Many people online peg Steve for a Slytherin, and by the last scene of "Endgame," he seems every bit like a Rowling-esque, self-serving Slytherin bastard. I have only two arguments for still sorting him into Gryffindor. (1) the Sorting Hat never said Slytherins were selfish; just ambitious, cunning, and power-hungry. Steve's selfish actions in "Endgame" could just as easily be the result of a Gryffindor's impulsive stupidity and self importance. (2) Steve can be literally any House you want, because Steve has no consistent character at all. Not in the MCU. For this project, I chose to sort Steve going by the traits the films indented for us to see in him, and used as many mental gymnastics as I could manage to rationalize those traits with his actions in canon. I am nowhere near done with this series. I still have all of the supporting cast of "Black Panther" among other things. In the meantime, see the blog for more MCU characters at Hogwarts.

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backalley-requests · 5 years

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Hi! Can I please have a ship for the MCU and Harry Potter if you do that (it’s totally fine if you don’t) okay so I’m 4’11, have long black hair and brown eyes, I’m an ENTJ, I’m very sassy, blunt, and competitive. I’m very passionate about politics, football, and traveling. I tend to have a short temper (I don’t deal with bs), I can be very stubborn and hot headed as well. I love photography and I’m very sensitive (though most don’t see it) overall I’m just a pretty complex person. Thank you sm!

Here you go! And yes I still do Harry Potter, JK Rowling didn’t do anything new I didn’t already dislike her for. The series belongs to the fans now and as long as I can acknowledge the bad in it I can still cherish the good it brought to my childhood. Regardless! I hope you like it!

I ship you with...

Marvel

Sam Wilson

He’s an all American kind of guy and definitely loves football. The two of you spend your Sunday nights watching the games and placing cheap bets like who I going to do the dishes. It’s pure fun. You also host the Super Bowl at your house every year and invite every superhero within a one planet radius.

Your relationship is filled with a lot of short quips between each other, usually blunt jokes that poke fun at one another. They’re always harmless but have an edge of a competitive spirit. It usually results in harmless banter about who is going to lose to the other and meaningless taunts. “Oh you wanna go?”s and “in your condition? I’d beat you in a heartbeat”s.

He’s so used to giving and gives it his all for his friends and those he loves. It takes a big toll on him. Similar to you he wears that kind of burden so well that most never notice. You do though, because you feel the same way a lot. You’re sensitive and you see it when he goes overboard into helping you feel better. Sam pours his all into everything.

The two of you get to travel a lot, his work as the new Captain America sending him all over the world. At first he was apprehensive about having you come along, he couldn’t bare the thought of losing you, but you love traveling and him and the idea of having to sit at home was a fate worse than death.

You sent the Christmas cards. You’re more heartfelt when you write them and it gives an excuse to send your photography to all your friends and family. Sam doesn’t just dump that on your or anything, he hangs around and helps select pictures he thinks each person on would appreciate the most and the two of you end up coming up with the most unique set of Christmas cards anyone’s probably ever done.

Don’t even get me started on the Fourth of July. It’s probably the biggest holiday around. Lots of arguments over politics, you and Sam are a powerful combo, and overzealous American based competitions. Even when the country seems to be tearing itself apart you two manage to hold onto the American dream. You can disparage this country as quick as the next person but you take a day to indulge in what makes it full of hope: and one of those people is Sam.

“I don’t know if I can do it.” Those are the first words you hear as Sam tosses the shield onto the kitchen table. This wasn’t his usual warm greetings but the man had nothing else to say. He didn’t even know where to begin, had no idea how to admit he still couldn’t cope with losing his best friend. That no matter how hard he was trying to be Captain America that he didn’t feel like he truly was what Steve had been.

You stared, unsure how to handle it as you took a step forward. Whatever had happened today was a major setback in this whole operation. “What happened?” You knew it was a horrible transition period already. Sam looked nothing like the Captain America the world had grew to accept. The cards were stacked against him from the start. Nobody believed he was good enough and the public thought it was their right to scrutinize him at every turn. Usually he kept his head up about but something changed.

Sam hesitated to take any steps forward. The world may have been saved but things were far from over. “I stopped a robbery on broadway, I caught the perps and had them tied up before police arrived. And the hostage— she screamed at me, afraid I’d hurt her no matter what I did to try and mend her fears. And when the cops did show up they started shooting at me.” He was slowly breaking in front of you and you didn’t have any idea what to do with it. “They called me some imposter, insinuated that I was a common criminal. That there was something innate in me that would never be good enough. And they called for backup when I ran.”

The world was more uncertain that ever before. After the second snap and Tony’s sacrifice the world failed to pick itself back up and begin moving. “Don’t listen to them, alright? Steve had it easy. The government paraded him around like some show pony for the troops. He got a grandiose opening.” You racked through the memories as you tried to find a way to comfort him. “But you’re stronger. You needed to be. You show up as a hero in the worst time in history and you don’t get an introduction.”

“I just don’t know if I can do it.” Sam held back tears but you could see them in his eyes. But you were stubborn, and it killed you to see him like this. So you did what you always do, took this on as a challenge to make him realize he was good enough. “I don’t know if Steve made the right choice, if I’m even good enough for what he gave me! He’s a better man—“

“Don’t you dare say that, Sam!” You shouted back suddenly, it startled him. “You’re a million times better than Steve. Alright? He left. He got his happy ending. You’re still fighting for the living. You’re still here!” The idea that somehow he didn’t believe in himself killed you. You couldn’t even wrap your head around the idea. “Steve spent decades deciding who he wanted and after all that time he believed you were the best person alive. He believed in you. I believe in you!”

There wasn’t much more to say after that as Sam crashed his lips onto yours. It wasn’t exactly a beautiful kiss but it was killed with such a strong sense of love, duty and faith. “I love you, you know that right?” He has to ask. You were worked up to the point of angry-tears but managed to nod your head slowly. He wasn’t sure he’d ever find someone who believed in him as much as you did.

“I love you too.” You smiled softly, breathing slowly in and out as you stared down at the floor. “But for the record, and I really feel like I have to say it...” You looked up at him, your brown eyes wide and big, “I’d be a way better Captain America.” The smirk on your face was sudden and cocky. It was hard for either of you to really get too deep in your emotions and humor was the quickest way to ease the tension of the moment.

“Oh really now?” Sam asked back with a laugh. “What ever happened to your whole believe in me speech. Cause, and maybe I was wrong, but I thought you just agreed that I’m the better Captain America.” He had his arms out in a challenging way, daring you to tell him he was wrong.

“Well you’re better than everyone but me.”

Harry Potter

Ron Weasley

The two of you can go absolutely crazy over quidditch, cheering for your favorite teams is an excellent bonding moment. You’re both competitive and love sports, and what better pass time than the wizards for world’s biggest sports event? The two of you have different favorite teams so it’s always a competition to see who’s will do better that year.

The two of you are both very blunt, which is honestly something that Ron needs from a person in his life. He hates when people try and get all convoluted instead of saying what they just actually mean. Your blunt nature fits what he likes to a T, even when it upsets him. The blunt nature of the relationship can be a blessing or a curse for those who encounter the two of you.

Ron is loyal to a fault, which is something that’s good for you. When you get overwhelmed and let your emotions get the best of you he’s the kind of person able to withstand any emotion. If someone were to push you too hard, not expecting you to be as sensitive as you are, Ron is the first person to jump in. He can get a little aggressive about it.

You’re both hot-heads and tend to get into pointless stubborn competitons. Whether it’s a game or a debate, the two of you get into them often with the goal of winning. Some people interpret this as fights but the truth is that both of you know how to come down from them without harming the relationship. While you’re immovable when against each other you become unstoppable when both of you are on the same side. People tend to just give up.

Ron doesn’t quite get your photography and no matter how many times you explain it all he doesn’t really get it. But that doesn’t stop him from trying and getting envolved. He’ll buy you photography gifts, and they tend to be hit or miss. For a while he didn’t get why you took so many photos but down the road when you showed him all of the past moments of your lives he realized how beautiful it really is.

Both of you are really into politics. Given that Ron literally took up arms in the resistance against Voldemort it shouldn’t be any surprise that he really cares about the government and what’s going on with it. He’s less intelligent than you, but equally passionate. If I’m being honest, it’s another reason people dread going to your house for holidays since the both of you manage to at some point drag everyone into another conversation about important political aspects you two care about.

“Five sickles says that you can’t make it to the top of the quidditch tower and back in under a minute—“

“Oh easy, bet.”

“AND perform five 3 360s.”

Suddenly the challenge was a lot harder for you. You stood in the grass of the quidditch field, staring up at the sky with your broom in hand. Now it was a question of your ability to do some tricks and those were never your strong suite. As much as you adore the game you tended to focus on mastering the basics instead of showing off. But, a bet was a bet and you hated the idea of admitting you couldn’t do something. “Like I said, easy.”

Ron stared at you with a wild grin on his face. He knew you were always up for a challenge and he was always up to doing something fun. It was truly a deadly combination. “Alright, I have the sickles right here. All you have to do is knock my socks off.” Perhaps he shouldn’t be daring his girlfriend to do something crazy but he couldn’t help himself and neither could you.

“Ready?” You asked as you nodded to his watch. “I don’t want you losing count and forcing me to lose.” You were honestly a little nervous but didn’t show it. You were stronger than that. What you really hoped was that no one came out and caught you guys fooling around on the Quidditch field, now that would be messy. Ron held up the watch and nodded his head.

“On your marks, get set, go!” And with that you went flying off. You decided to knock one spin upside down off the list really quick and managed to do that with some grace. You realized soon after that it wasn’t exactly fun, and was a little challenging to keep steady once it was over. “You got this, babe!” Ron shouted as you planned on how to get back at him for this. You got the next twist out of the way shortly before you got to the tower and then soon you made it close to around it. In an attempt to show off you used the final twist as you neared the other side, although this proved to be a mistake.

You lost your grip. The broom seperated from your body and sped off towards the stands as your body fell vertical. You didn’t hear anything aside from your own scream as you tried to reach for your wand. Your hand just got ahold of it by the time you felt a pair of arms grab you. You hadn’t even noticed Ron had gotten to you up until that moment as you clung tightly to him.

You winced when your broom hit the stands and broke straight through the seats and into the underside of the stands. You supposed you’s finally get the chance to find out what exactly was under those old things. You rested your head against his chest, neither of you saying much as you listened to his heartbeat. It was fast and scared and said more than enough.

“You didn’t let me finish.” You complained, trying to ease the tension with a joke. “You cheated.” You looked up at him and smiled as he neared the ground. Part of you felt that you would have been fine. You could have used a spell to summon the broom or something to ease your fall. Ron didn’t need to be there. But he was and it was actually really sweet.

Ron laughed, releasing tensed muscles in his body he hadn’t realized he strained as started to step off. And though he laughed he couldn’t stop holding you as if his life depended on it. “Yeah, I’m sure you would have. Do you want the sickles anyways?” He asked you. “An honorary win because I cheated?”

“Thank you very much, I’ll take those off your hands.” The real conversation occurred outside of language. The way you clung to him said thank you, and the way he held you, paired with his ever increasing heartbeat, said he loved you. Though the sickles certainly didn’t hurt.

#ship requests #mcu #harry potter #sam wilson #ron weasley

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kiwisimie · 6 years

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𝐆𝐞𝐭 𝐓𝐨 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐌𝐞 𝐓𝐚𝐠 !!

RULES: Post a pic of your simself with your traits and answer the questions!

TRAITS: loner, music lover, clumsy

tagged by: the great @honeybeqr

✩ QUESTIONS 1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? um just esther is fine 2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? mum, wife, goldfish, and esti 3. BIRTHDAY? 3rd july 4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES? um I don’t really read series but princess diaries and dork diaries are pretty fun 5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? honestly idk like I believe in the after life and there kinda has to something out there 6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? rainbow rowell 7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? I always force my dad to play capital when i’m in his car sooooo I guess its capital (?) 8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? vanilla and chocolate ( cant go wrong with the classics ) 9. WHAT WORD OR PHRASE WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? cool, good, um great as you can see my vocabulary isn’t that advanced 10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? japanese denim - Daniel Caesar, closely followed by broke - samm hemshaw 11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? pueblo, it means village/town in spanish 12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? i’m listening to the schuyler sisters as I write this 13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? modern family and the simspons 14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN? the princess and the frog, it has good songs 15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? not really i’m more of a lets play watcher 16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? disappointing people and death 17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? i’m very empathetic/sympathetic, I try to see things from the person’s perspective 18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? I tend to shut down a lot and just hide away suddenly 19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? I guess dogs but i’m not really an animal person 20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? summer for sure 21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? with stress? yes 22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? being able to fluently speak french 23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? um next 24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? dark brown 25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? its really dark brown so it just looks black 26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? my family 27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? once again me family 28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? my friends 29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? the half term 30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? fanfics, kpop, bullet journals and stationary ( an odd combo of things I know ) 31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? totally spies, les zinzins de l'espace, and ratz 32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? my brother, he’s a real g 33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? not really 34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? I cant with butterflies I panic a bit when they fly near me 35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT? I like having the memories when i’m in front of it but I do like being behind it 36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? playing instruments, reading and making sims 37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? fangirl by rainbow rowell thoroughly enjoyed it 38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? the greatest showman I think 39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? piano, some chords on ukulele and guitar, i’ve been taking violin lessons, and I have a clarinet from school that I have yet to play seriously 40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? any baby animal is my favourite animal 41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? anyone that posts is amazing 42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? teleportation because i’m a lazy bugger 43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? in bed listening to music or reading 44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? memes that my friends send me and being with people 45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? I play for my school’s football and netball team and we do loads of different sports during lessons 46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? orange juice 47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? I wrote little messages in all the Christmas cards I gave out last year 48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? I don’t think so, ooo do I love the feeling when you’re in a plane and your stomach does that thing when it goes down a bit ( I probably sound crazy ) 49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? ermmm slow walkers and being late for no reason 50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? no :( I really wanted to go to love yourself tour but I couldn’t get a ticket 51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? I don’t think I could ever 52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? an Olympian, still lowkey want to be one 53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? all of them 54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? exams and nearing everything I say and do ( I am a very anxious child ) 55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? kinda 56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? yes but i’m definitely not talented so you’re not hearing that any time soon 57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? not without informing the school because i’m a good child 58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? good question 59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? in a city that’s maybe in another country 60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? no and i’ve never had one 61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? a bit of both I think 62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER? sunrise, gotta love golden hour 63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? no as I am underaged 64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? depends on where I am and what i’m doing 65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? no but like all of my friends have 66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? there is a wide variety 67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? mi madre 68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? do webtoons and mangas count? 69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? how ignorant someone people are 70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? definitely real books, I have brought a couple 71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? music and maths 72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? yeah I have an older sister, two older brothers and a little sister 73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? tipp-ex, a clip-on light and a new moisturiser 74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 169cm whatever that is in inches 75. CAN YOU COOK? only like the basic things 76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? family, friends and clothes 77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? CUCUMBERS and AVOCADOS 78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? my closer friends are basically all female 79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? i’m your everyday heterosexual 80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? in the east of england 81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? my mum 82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? a few days when I went to went to watch the curious incident of the dog in the night-time ( that show was a lot to handle ) 83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? bestdressed I love her personality and her sense of style 84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? occasionally 85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP? tumblr, youtube, google keep and huji 86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE? we are get along nicely 87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? I don’t really have a favourite I find them all pretty entertaining 88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT? italy 89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 6 and 3 90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? unfortunately I am not that talented 91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? yes 92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OF THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? we always watch documentaries about the deep ocean in science lessons and that’s always interesting 93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? hecc no 94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? i’m like 99% i’m not 95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? yes 96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? when I raise my eyebrows they move 97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? more often then I would like 98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? forests 99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? ‘if you mess up no one’s going to notice unless you allow them to notice it’ my music teachers always say that for performances 100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? I think I can be pretty convincing 101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? Hufflepuff! 102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? all the time, it helps me sort out my thoughts and explain things to myself 103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? I am an introvert ( big surprise there ) and my personality type is isfj 104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? yes but i’ve always been inconsistent with it 105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? yes 106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? give it to some sort of authority ( like a teacher or the police ) 107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? sure 108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? very 109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? yes and I love them 110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? just my ears 111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? baz and simon ( that’s two I know ) 112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? no 113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? applying for literally everything 114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? not really 115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? I have glasses and I want contacts for when I do sports 116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? at some point in my life, yes 117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? I know a lot of people that are smart in different areas of life 118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? don’t really want that on the internet 119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? I always end up falling asleep 120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOUR CLOTHES? white, black, a lot of yellow, and red ( I have a lot more colour then I used to ) 121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? yes 122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? no but my school has been 123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 14 124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? ’ good-night, helen’ the only part of jane eyre I liked 125. DO YOU PREFER SWEET OR SAVORY FOODS? depends on my mood I encourage anyone how wants to do this to go for it :)

#about two weeks later here we are #and oh look its a new edit style #what a surprise #im sorry for all the grammatical errors I wrote both on my phone and my laptop #why is this so blurry oof #simself #get to know me

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omg-puddingpie · 6 years

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GET TO KNOW ME -

Thanks to @klauseconfessions for this lovely tag! :D I love feeling a part of these things whenever you include me! Like my idol has noticed me!

You have to make a simself and put whatever you wish on there. traits, about you stuff so we can get to know you lovely, beautiful people better! Please feel free to do it without the tag as well because I’m horrible with tagging and hate leaving anyone out. :3

questions

1. What is your full name? Chad

2. What is your nickname? Pinky, douchebag, Beaver, Pie

3. Birthday? January

4. What is your favorite book series? I don’t read very often. (I’m more into comic books) but I’ve always enjoyed John Gardner’s book ‘Grendel’, even before I knew how much this monster was cool and I’d even include in my drawings OR Sims game. XD

5. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? All of the. There has to be more in this world and there are evidence of both, so who knows?

6. Who is your favorite author? I honestly don’t have one but I love reading fanfictions.

7. What is your favorite radio station? Hardrock, sometimes country and even the ‘oldies’ station. (70′s, 80′s, 90′s)

8. What is your favorite flavor of anything? Banana

9. What word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful? Cool beans

10. What is your current favorite song? Weezer’s take on ‘Africa’ by Toto. I’m in LOOOOOOVVVVEEEE with this song. (Even made it one of my sims’ dedicated love song to their significant other. XD XD)

11. What is your favorite word? Dipshit

12. What was the last song you listened to? Rob Zombie ‘Dragula’

13. What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch? Castlevania, Breaking Bad, Supernatural

14. What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? Wizard of Oz and I’ll tell you why: Long story short, this is my mom’s favorite movie and when my siblings and I were kids, she always played this on Friday nights; we had popcorn, sodas, and a pizza while watching the movie. Now, as an adult, I watch it for the memories and it makes me happy. :3

15. Do you play video games? It’s an addiction really. XD

16. What is your biggest fear? Spiders. Bastards....

17. What is your best quality, in your opinion? My drawing abilities, tbh.

18. What is your worst quality, in your opinion? I’m too ‘real’ but if you want my honest opinion, you’re going to get it. I don’t see this world through rose colored glasses.

19. Do you like cats or dogs better? Cats

20. What is your favorite season? Winter

21. Are you in a relationship? Yes. Married and have children together, too.

22. What is something you miss from your childhood? Saturday morning cartoons, cereal and not having to worry about bills.

23. Who is your best friend? From the Sims community, @emmypess then there is my wife, kids and siblings.

24. What is your eye color? Natural is brown but I have these bluish gray contacts in at the moment. Goes good with the pink. XD

25. What is your hair color? Naturally brown, now it’s pink.

26. Who is someone you love? My wife and kids

27. Who is someone you trust? My wife, my family

28. Who is someone you think about often? Wife and kids and dinner for that night. XD XD

29. Are you currently excited about/for something? Christmas, my upcoming birthday and what the New Year will bring. (Hoping for another baby!!)

30. What is your biggest obsession? Grendel and anything Supernatural

31. What was your favorite TV show as a child? Gargoyles. No lie

32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? My wife

33. Are you superstitious? Ooooooh yes!!

34. Do you have any unusual phobias? Not really

35. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? Behind. I’m stupid shy of photos. XD

36. What is your favorite hobby? Drawing, skateboarding and doing crafts with the kids.

37. What was the last book you read? ......Do comic books count? XD

38. What was the last movie you watched? The new Halloween movie. :3

39. What musical instruments do you play, if any? .......My answer is a bit, ahem, adult but to be ‘serious’ I use to play the Violin as a kid.

40. What is your favorite animal? Capybaras

41. What are your top 5 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow? I can not pick. I love seeing a diverse screen of all kinds of sims. You guys are awesome! :D

42. What superpower do you wish you had? Oh man, flying would be nice.

43. When and where do you feel most at peace? At home with my wife and kids. I just love being around them.

44. What makes you smile? My family, my addiction to games, drawings and my sims.

45. What sports do you play, if any? I skateboard, play Basketball and use to play Football in highschool.

46. What is your favorite drink? Dr. Pepper

47. When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody? Psssssssh! I don’t know! XD

48. Are you afraid of heights? Yes

49. What is your biggest pet peeve? People who talk with their mouth full. I don’t need to see the Casserole you made last night, Susan. Fuck....

50. Have you ever been to a concert? Hell yes!

51. Are you vegan/vegetarian? Nope

52. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? A Veterinarian.

53. What fictional world would you like to live in? Shit, I’d love to hang out in Fabletown at the Trip Trap bar with my boi Gren and throw back a few. XD

54. What is something you worry about? I worry 100%. HARD not to when you have anxiety and constantly overthinking EVERYTHING! XD

55. Are you scared of the dark? Nope

56. Do you like to sing? Horribly but yes!

57. Have you ever skipped school? In high school, I ditched all the time. I’m STILL shocked I graduated on time. XD

58. What is your favorite place on the planet? Oregon or LA

59. Where would you like to live? Away from Cali (which is literally on fire right now) and move to Oregon or even Alaska. No lie.

60. Do you have any pets? Yes! 3 Cats, a Dog and a Beta fish

61. Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? Early bird. Up at 3am! 0.O

62. Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? Sunrise

63. Do you know how to drive? Yup

64. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? Earbuds

65. Have you ever had braces? No

66. What is your favorite genre of music? Rock

67. Who is your hero? My mom. She’s been such a strong individual and struggled for years to raise my siblings and I. I still don’t know how she did it but I’m forever in debt to her. She’s amazing.

68. Do you read comic books? Yes, yes, yes!!

69. What makes you the most angry? People who drive...so....slow. I’m not a speed demon but if you’re LOST, move the fuck over! XD

70. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? None? XD

71. What is your favorite subject in school? History or anything art related

72. Do you have any siblings? Yes! 4 sisters and one brother

73. What was the last thing you bought? The new Spyro Reignited game!!!!! My childhood!!! :D :D

74. How tall are you? 6′1″

75. Can you cook? I try but....it’s best if this dude stays OUT of the kitchen! XD

76. What are three things that you love? My family, my Sims, my life

77. What are three things that you hate? People who chew with food in their mouth, people who drive stupid slow or people who feel the need to advertise their business on Social media. No one cares that your period is heavy or you and your significant other are fighting. TMI.

78. Do you have more female friends or more male friends? Guys

79. What is your sexual orientation? Bi

80. Where do you currently live? California

81. Who was the last person you texted? One of my coworkers regarding Thanksgiving. We have a 4 day weekend!!! :D

82. When was the last time you cried? Laughing cry last night at my wife’s family’s house for an early Thanksgiving meal. I love her family.

83. Who is your favorite YouTuber? THINK his name is IamKevin. He plays a lot of the Sims games and the things he says....XD

84. Do you like to take selfies? NO! XD

85. What is your favorite app? This app fro my local grocery store, where I can scan coupons and what not! (I’m such an adult/daddy sometimes. XD)

86. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? My mom is wonderful but I’ve been estranged from my father for 7 years now. My choice and it’s been the best thing I could have ever done.

87. What is your favorite foreign accent? Portuguese, English, Spanish

88. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? Ireland

89. What is your favorite number? 69. :P

90. Can you juggle? No

91. Are you religious? Yes

92. Do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting? Outer Space

93. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? In high school, yes. Not so much now.

94. Are you allergic to anything? This poor air quality lingering over California! XD

95. Can you curl your tongue? Yes

96. Can you wiggle your ears? No

97. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? Almost never but then it ends up biting me in the ass.

98. Do you prefer the forest or the beach? Forest

99. What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? Life is too short for drama. If it causes you stress, perhaps it’s time to either cut ties or fix it. Your health and mentality is never worth it, especially when you have others who depend on you.

100. Are you a good liar? Nope

101. What is your Hogwarts House? I’m not much for Harry Potter, tbh.

102. Do you talk to yourself? Sometimes! XD

103. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? introvert

104. Do you keep a journal/diary? No

105. Do you believe in second chances? It depends

106. If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do? that’s hard, tbh. We ALL wanna say we’d turn it in but I’ve seen those people turn in the wallet but keep the money sooooo....it’s hard to say.

107. Do you believe that people are capable of change? Depends

108. Are you ticklish? Kind of

109. Have you ever been on a plane? Yes

110. Do you have any piercings? Yes

111. What fictional character do you wish was real? Grendel from The Wolf Among Us. I’d LOVE to drink with this guy! XD XD

112. Do you have any tattoos? Yup

113. What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? Making my life much better.

114. Do you believe in karma? Yup

115. Do you wear glasses or contacts? contacts

116. Do you want children? I’d like more!

117. Who is the smartest person you know? My sister

118. What is your most embarrassing memory? Too many! XD

119. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? Yup

120. What color are most of you clothes? Red, Black and brown

121. Do you like adventures? YES!!!

122. Have you ever been on TV? No

123. How old are you? Going to be 30

124. What is your favorite quote? Never have regrets because at one time, it was exactly what you wanted.

125. Do you prefer sweet or savory foods? Salty!!

#my simself #tagged

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house-of-galathynius · 7 years

Note

P for Feysand please

this was in my inbox before i even liked that prompt post, but boy oh boy is this gunna be fun!!

Rhys is taking like women’s studies as a module (he’s a junior), for the content, Cassian decides to join, but for the actual women

Feyre is studying History of Art, but is disappointed about the lack of actual art

Feyre transferred from university in England to study in the US- she transferred half way through her freshman year

Rhys definitely plays a sport, probably something pretentious like Lacrosse (if this was in the UK, Rhys, Cassian and Azriel would 100% play Rugby.. because like any excuse to get muddy and beat each other up)

Feyre and Rhys meet at a party, Feyre’s awful roommate Ianthe drags her along- the party is full of douchbag football players. Feyre gets cornered by Tamlin (who is boring and just talks about himself), Rhys has been watching her throughout the night and finally decides to go save her

They go out to the garden and lie down on a trampoline (bc uni kids definitely have trampolines) and spend the evening talking and watching the stars (obvs)

Rhys absolutely loves her British accent and keeps asking her questions so that she can keep talking because he just can’t get enough of her voice

They stay up till dawn talking and when Feyre finally gets back to her dorm she had totally forgotten that she hadn’t wanted to go to the party in the first place and she falls asleep with a smile on her face and dreams of Rhys

Over the next couple of weeks Rhys just seems to appear everywhere, outside classes, in the dining hall, the library, the bookshop. He always seems to have a new way to spark a debate, they always spend ages talking but Feyre can’t even be angry because she’s so fascinated by Rhys

He finally asks her on a date!!! He takes her to a cute diner near the university, they’d been there for like half an hour when the door opens and literally all of the inner circle walk in- he is mortified- the inner circle proceed to sit down at their table and literally just take the piss out of Rhys and tell embarrassing stories for the next two hours. Feyre honestly thinks it’s the best date she has been on

After promising his friends he’d bring Feyre over for a game night, he proceeds to walk her back to her dorm, after saying goodnight to each other like 8 times, Rhys is about to walk away when Feyre pulls him toward her and kisses him!!

Rhys awkwardly stands there after Feyre pulls away, and even after she’s gone back into her dorm he stands there… because holy shit… if that wasn’t the best kiss ever

They continue to see each other after that, there are no more awkward kisses, but a lot of kissing generally

Feyre gets to meet the inner circle and they all love her, she becomes close friends with Mor and Amren (even though she’s grumpy 98% of the time)

Rhys and Feyre literally cannot get enough of each other, they spend as much time as they can with each other, even if it’s Rhys watching Feyre study in her room (where he will try his best to distract her, by kissing her neck or playing with her hair)

Exam season is the worst for both of them as they barely see each other, but when it’s over Rhys takes Feyre to his parents cabin (we all know what happens now….)

Feyre takes Rhys with her back to the UK to meet her father and sisters (during the summer), Feyre is more nervous than Rhys but her father and Elain love him, Nesta takes some convincing but eventually she starts to warm to him

Rhys graduates first, but stays in the area to be near Feyre. When Feyre eventually graduates he throws a huge party for her and invites her family (they’re already over for her graduation ceremony)

He then takes Feyre off to the side and (of course) he proposes to her!!! He is the most cliched person on this planet (fight me) and she’s crying and hugging him and saying yes a million times, Rhys is literally ecstatic and then everyone else is there and the party lasts all night

Okay…. so I got really carried away with this, but like I love them so much and I couldn’t help myself….

@misspatsyjanereads thank u for contributing x

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tgai-spock · 4 years

Text

Lines of ice from rolling waves and subtle villains

Run

Chapter 11

Several alarms began that morning, and a little after half six, the curtains lifted to reveal three people, in sports gear. Nyota, was sparkling, Christine, looked like she had the day before, and Spock looked almost the same, his hair still in a hat. Nyota wore black leggings with black trainers, and a black jumper of which she had pushed the sleeves up. Spock wore jogging bottoms and a black t-shirt. They, quietly departed the room walking past the people still asleep in their beds, except for Charlie. Charlie’s bed was still empty.

“Did Charlie come in last night?” Spock whispered and the others glanced back.

“I don’t know.” Nyota said.

“I don’t think he did” Christine whispered.

Outside was misty, thick air rolled over the field and they jogged around it. Spock didn’t know what he was doing. To start with he had jogged slowly, as that seemed easy, and he didn’t wish to outrun them. But half-way around the field he found he couldn’t keep up the slow pace. He had never done long term stamina work, and although due to his dual heritage he did have the same ability to keep up with human stamina, it currently wasn’t part of his exercise regime, at least not when it came to jogging. However he did know he could out walk any vulcan in the heat. So he was surprised at discovering, he currently could not out jog a human on earth. Still if had had been running he’d probably be more than several miles away from these humans.

He immediately decided that he had made a terrible mistake to embarrass himself in front of two very sporty people, he stopped to walk.

“You were doing so good for your first time” Nyota encouraged.

“Not the worst I’ve seen” Christine said.

“I want to go around two times, I’ll wait for you when I’m done” Nyota encouraged.

“Okay, thanks.” Spock said, and they jogged off together. Spock gave himself two minutes, jogged for two minutes, and then gave himself another walking break. The field was huge. There was a football field on the field, Spock half thought eight football fields could have fit on it. He was walking past the creepy forest, when he heard a creature behind him, panting. He stopped jogging and slowed down, and the creature came to a halt by his side. It was a large girl, 5 times the size of him, and a good half taller than him, wearing leggings, a long sports shirt, and an obviously large sports bra.

“Morning.” She said.

“Morning.” He replied.

“This your first run?” She asked.

“Jog, yes. Was I that bad?” Spock asked.

“No! I just got a magic way to tell.” She said and winked

“It is my first jog of the year… possibly my last.” Spock nodded.

“Aw! Don’t say that. Before the summer I could run 15 minutes at a time with for a good 2 hours. Ruined all my good work by not doing any exercise over the summer, and it doesn’t help that the vending machines outside of school are pleasant to use.”

“Oh you mean unlike that creepy vending machine?” Spock asked.

“Isn’t it just? This year they’ve add Taurus posters to it. That’s super insensitive there are kids who survived that who could attend school.”

“I’m no Taurus kid, but I’m just not going to buy sweets this year.”

“Thats probably smart thinking. During summer brake the second I ate a chocolate bar, I just couldn’t stop. It was so good, as I hadn’t eaten one for almost a whole year. Although, now I know, I won’t be making that mistake again.”

“Didn’t you go home for a holiday before summer? A winter holiday maybe?” Spock asked.

“No. You can. I mean some kids come here from other planets, and they can’t afford the space tickets back every holiday, so technically the school stays open. My folks live all the way down the country, so it’s a big drive, and they lazy as fuck. Plus my bestie was staying. We thought there was going to be a robot uprising at the time… can’t remember why. Anyway, I have got to run again, not that I got my breath back because I spent way too much time talking.” She jogged fast, and with good form, and halfway back to the school she stopped, she ran about four minutes at a time. Spock did a shorter run, but did some quality speed walking to catch up with her.

“I’m glad you caught up. I forgot to say” she panted.

“Say what?”

“You’ve got a massive hole in the side of your shirt.”

“What?!” Spock says surprised as she pointed to the side of his armpit. It was a fairly big hole, about 5cm’s wide, just enough for his sports bra to show. Although because his t-shirt was so baggy anyway it did just look like another under shirt from the angle he was, so he wasn’t too worried about it. Spock thought hard about how the hole could have got in his shirt.

“Happened to one of mine. You gotta put away your clothes in your drawers, theres a rumour that the schools infested with orion moths. Big fellas that eat clothes” she says and winks.

Spock frowns “this is literally a new shirt” he says.

“Ohh maybe it was the moths. I wouldn’t worry about it, everyone looks pretty well presented now, but give it another month and all the first years are going to look like trash.”

“Hmm. Well I’d prefer not to look like trash.”

“You got an extra sports top?” She asked.

“No.”

“Could always go into town. Theres a few good shops there.” Spock nodded considering it as Nyota and Christine passed them by, both bright red in their face.

“Have they even stopped? Jesus they’re going to have a heart attack. I’ve seen a kid have a heart attack trying to run this.”

“Really?”

“Usually when you run a tracked field several times you’ll get up to a mile, but this whole things 3k.” She gestured

“What? How much did I run? Actually” Spock said “never mind I started walking almost immediately.”

“It’s so far though it’s still a super healthy walk for you.”

“I guess” Spock nodded at her logic.

“I’m May by the way.” She said as her watch began beeping

“I’m Spock.”

Spock joined the others who had been waiting for him for about 10 minutes. They were panting hard, Nyota put her thumb up as Spock approached.

“You did so well!” She said, as though the oxygen from the atmosphere was leaving the planet as she said it.

“Thanks” Spock said “I thought you were going for a more casual jog, you seem like expert joggers.”

“I am trying to be an athlete” Christine nodded and wiped the sweat from her head.

“Nah” Nyota waved “just my daily 2k.”

“Nyota, that whole field is 3k, I think you did 6k.” Spock said.

“It’s what?” Nyota squeaked.

“It’s 6k.”

“Are you okay Nyota ?” Christine asked concerned “you want me to carry you back to the common room?”

“I’m fine!” She wheezed her face sweating as much darker shade.

The common room seemed to have an air of empty, there were other people up now, one who was eating a bowl of mixed fruit while studying by the table, another in pyjamas with a tray of chocolate, and coffee their phone playing anime as they departed for the beanbag room. Others were reading or heading our in gym clothes. Nyota turned sharply walked to the sink and put her head under it, gulping the water. She sat up turned sharply and walked back to their dorm room. Spock walked over and picked up a glass, and poured an ice cold water from the tap. Christine did the same, and they leant against the side as they drank.

“Are you going to do that run, walk again tomorrow?” Christine asked.

“I guess I could. I didn’t realise how bad at jogging I was, it would be good if I could get better” Spock said, “although I’ll need a new shirt, this ones torn.”

“Oh, I didn’t notice” she shrugs innocently.

Spock nodded “I’ll just need to get a t-shirt before tomorrow. I will probably have to head into town…”

“I want to go into town” Christine said her eyes sparkling.

“You’re welcome to come with me” Spock said shrugging “I don’t even know how to get out of this building.”

“Oh, no me neither actually.” She gestured with her hand as she talked.

“I’ve got science first, I could just ask the teacher after class.” Spock suggested.

Christine nodded “what class are you in?”

“2B I think.”

“Me too, I’m going to follow you there, I tried finding my divination group with a bunch of guys - and they were total wankers. Idiots, I ended up being 20 minutes late for my divination class.”

“I think they let us off for being late for our first lessons.”

“Yeah, but I’m trying to set a good impression, because I’m probably going to punch someone later and I need the rest of my schooling year to be spotless.”

Spock nodded confused “well its the effort that counts, so I hear. Whats divination?”

“Tarot cards and shit it’s my specialist subject” Christine shrugged as she picked up a sponge from the sink and washed her glass “I’m going to shower.” Spock nodded and waited a moment before doing the same.

[Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4]

[Chapter 5] [Chapter 6] [Chapter 7] [Chapter 8]

[Chapter 9] [Chapter 10] [Chapter 12]

#spock #trans!spock #trans spock #nyota uhura #Christine Chapel #star trek tos #star trek aos #star trek #loifrwasv #linesoficefromrollingwavesandsubtlevillains11

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