#fooj

[hottakehoulihan]

So many of my bad-but-novel food experiences are because I was doing it wrong and didn't have guidance.

I've heard it asserted that in Japan, customers will sometimes ask the waiter "how should I eat this" (something that might get you insulted in the US) and get a sincere and useful answer that helps maximize their enjoyment.

It sounds fricking wonderful.

I don't know "baked ziti" and I'd probably just use this stuff as a replacement for lasagne noodles; it seems like it'd work quite well.

For bread cheese/Finnish "squeaky cheese" I went from thinking it was awful and pointless to loving it once I learned how you can cut it into cubes and dunk it in your hot black coffee for a while and then eat it when it's warm and a bit melty (and the coffee is good too! Just a bit of pleasant added flavor! An improvement on most coffee that isn't top-tier and not a downgrade ever.)

I have a bunch of examples but I also have work to do so I'll skip to the punchline:

The "doing it wrong" for balut was trying it for the first time while sober and unfamished.

Dan and I bought a thing called “long ziti” from the local Weird Bargain Store, largely as a joke, but…. I have never had a more unsettling pasta experience in my life. They wouldn’t bend enough to cook from top to bottom simultaneously, and while they were cooking boiling water kept spouting out from the tops of them out of the pot, like a boiling pipe organ. Then they were so long and floppy and hoselike that we couldn’t pick them up with anything other than tongs, and then they were so long and unwieldy that it was basically impossible to sauce them without them all slithering out of the bowl like wet snakes. They then proceeded to cool down almost completely within the the seconds it took to walk to the living room. Eating them was like eating a bowl full half melted drinking straws.

[hottakehoulihan]

Eating animals

I owned a book--twice (I don't know why I keep giving it away and haven't had it on hand for years)--called "Unmentionable Cuisine".

Because food is good. And there were some recipes in it that sounded amazing.

Two that especially spring to mind:

1: You catch the mice in your winery that have been eating the musty grapes and lapping up spilled wine and chewing on fragments of claret-soaked wood, and you carefully clean them and roast them over a small fire made of smashed well-used wine barrel staves, and serve them with a wine reduction sauce maybe? Sounds fiddly and not super likely to work well, but the recipe is itself pretty.

2: You remove a few bricks from your kitchen's cinderblock floor and put a wire grate over it, and you put any veggie trimmings down there that you don't want and also some water and you keep a guinea pig or two down there. Eventually, when it's grown, you add the shredded meat to a dish; a full-size specimen is a meal for two, properly stretched.

I know intellectually that people would recoil from these dishes like I might recoil from a wichetty grub, a seagull, or an otter. (And I would eat those things, I'd just have to overcome an illogical resistance) (for all I know, they're super delicious. I think pigeon is delicious.)

I know intellectually that I shouldn't be surprised when I encounter someone who recoils at the idea of eating sheep.

But mostly it's a WTF moment for me, that anyone who is as a general rule okay with eating animal flesh would decide that somehow dogs and cats are specialler than cows and pigs? Horses are sacred in a way that sheep aren't? Bird flesh may be eaten only if it is chicken or turkey?

People pretend to believe absurd things all the time--even to themselves--and that's just a fact of modern life we have to cope with when pussyfooting around folk who are scared--say--of having their receipt have three sixes on it in a row, or of acknowledging any validity in the evolutionary record.

I can only assume it's the same sort of thing. The disgust at not-our-culture notional or actual dietary differences is real.

But it's not because of the food.

Its just bog standard picky eating and willful insularity.

I will try to have charity towards people who have illogical taboos,

but only to the extent they have charity toward those who don't share them.

That sounds like a good general rule, actually.

[schadentekkers]

[jupiterjunebug]

Zsj's ability to drag passion out of Sanada is so funny to me. Who will win? A carefully crafted icy exterior? Or an annoying british bitch with the third most damaged roots in the company? The answer probably won't surprise you actually.

[hottakehoulihan]

The "MyRecipes" link is broken/renamed to hide from us, but here's the recipe for Utah Pickle Pie. Reportedly, it tastes like a sour pickle-flavored mincemeat. That does...not sound good, but I'd try it:

Utah Pickle Pie

[rennarita]

[elitehoe]

No ichiban sweet boy with TMDK 🥺

[naritaren]

Fujita but against Gabe. 😐

[fagcrisis]

jr tag league lineup goated as fuck i cant wait for despewato

[war-dawrgz]

clark connors x ftm!reader | what he don't know

minors dni [16+]

word count| 2,027

warnings| Bathroom Sex, Public Sex, Caught, Degradation, Vaginal Sex, Unprotected Sex

p.s| I was very very high when I wrote this and did not check it over

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

You are chatting with Tito, Zack Sabre Jr, Kosei Fujita, and Shane Haste when Clark comes up to you, putting your drink on the table next to Tito, grabbing your hand and pulling you away from the group without saying a word. You can hear Zack chuckling about how your pup got needy as you are pulled away. You try to question him but he glares at you once and you immediately shut up. He pulls you through the crowd of the bar, leading you to god knows where. He pulls you into the men’s restroom, not even bothering to lock the door or pulling you into a stall. He pins you against the counter where the sinks and mirrors are, glaring dangerously at you.

“What was that?” His voice is low, you can tell that it is full of anger but you don’t know why.

“What was what?” You ask softly, trying not to feel turned on by the look that he is giving you. 

“You know what I’m talking about. Cozying up with Fooj… Fooj of all people.” You can’t help but chuckle softly causing Clark to grab your jaw and force you to look at him. “It’s not fucking funny.”

“It’s not like that, Clarkie. I was just chatting with them, haven’t seen them in a while. We were just catching up.” Clark lets out a low growl, “What? You know something that I don’t?” 

Clark doesn’t respond, instead he licks your neck, instantly shutting off your brain. He smirks before littering small hickeys on your neck. Your hands curl around his shirt, trying to pull him closer. He growls against your skin, 

“Gonna show that fucking kid that you’re mine.” You nod excitedly, not entirely sure what he means. He sucks a dark hickey right in the middle of your neck, right where everyone will see it. You try to warn Clark about leaving too many marks but it falls on deaf ears. He keeps sucking marks on your neck before biting right where your shoulder connects to your neck. You yelp at the pain, grabbing at Clark to pull him away but he stands his ground. 

“Cl-Clark.” You whine out, he pulls away from your neck, smirking as he looks at you.

“Yes, sweetheart?” He can’t help the cocky smile that plays on his lips, he knows that you are right where he wants you. 

“Need you.” His smile only grows, 

“You have me.” 

“Come on, Clark. Please, I need you.. Bad.” He pecks your lips, giving into you. He quickly pulls off your shirt, shoving it into his pocket so it stays clean. Next he pulls your pants and boxers, letting them pool at your feet. You drop your hands to the waistband of his pants and try to get them undone when he flips you over, bending you over the counter. You blush dark red, whining at how easy it is for him to manhandle you. You hear the familiar sound of Clark undoing his belt, you look in the mirror to see Clark staring at you. He moves to the side so you can see him smoothly pull his belt from his pants in one swift movement. You put your hands behind your back thinking he wants to tie your hands together with the belt but he just smirks at you. He puts his belt around your neck, pulling it so it resembles a collar and leash. You whine as you look at him through the mirror, his smirk only grows as he gets behind you. He pulls his pants and boxers down to below his knees, pulling on the belt harshly to pull your head back. 

You whine, hands flying to the edge of the sink to stabilize yourself. Clark chuckles as he rubs his cock along your sex. A high pitched whimper leaves your throat as he teases you. He pushes into you oh so slowly, smirking at you in the mirror. 

“Please Clark.”

“What do you need, angel?” You moan at the pet name, one of your hands flying to your face to guard your flushing cheeks. 

“Just hurry the fuck up.” Clark tugs on the belt hard, you whimper as it tightens around your throat.

“Language pup. Or is that another reminder I need to fuck into you.” You quickly shake your head, whispering out a soft apology. Clark kisses your shoulder, “Good boy.” 

He puts his other hand on your hip, rubbing it gently before thrusting into you. Your eyes widen, your mouth falling open with a loud moan as he bottoms out in you in one go. You claw at the sink, whining Clark’s name. He doesn’t give you a moment to think before starting to thrust into you, fast and hard. You try your best not to look Clark in the eye but every time that you look away he tugs on the belt. 

“There we go. Keep those pretty little eyes on me.” You can’t help but smile at the sound of his voice. You clench around his cock as you study him in the mirror, you think he looks fucking godly. His hair is half-up half-down, his eyes are darkened with lust, his lip is nestled between his teeth, and his arms. Fuck his arms. He has the belt wrapped around his hand once, pulling it taut, his biceps are flexed. 

“F-fucking shit.” You are pulled out of your staring session as he hits your g-spot. He smirks at you, repositioning his hips so he can hit that spot with every thrust. “Fuck yes, Clark.”

Neither of you care if you are loud, forgetting that you didn’t lock the door. You moan loudly as Clark smacks your ass hard. He smiles widely as he sees his red handprint on your otherwise flawless skin. He gently rubs your ass to soothe it, you whine softly at the gesture. You clench around his cock again, your moans getting higher in pitch, and much louder. A tell tale sign that you are close to coming but Clark doesn’t stop. In fact he wraps the belt around his hand one more time, putting his hand on the back of your neck and forcing you head onto the counter. He pounds into you with an inhumane amount of strength and speed. 

You are so caught up in how Clark is making you feel that you don’t notice Gabe slipping into the bathroom. Clark meets Gabe’s eyes through the mirror, smirking at the younger man. Clark leans down over you, pressing you further into the counter, growling loud enough for Gabe to hear.

“Look at that, soon enough everyone’s gonna know that you’re nothing more than my bitch.” You whine at his words, not understanding what he means cause you still haven’t noticed Gabe. So Clark lets go of the belt and grabs your hair, forcing you head to see Gabe. Your cheeks flush bright red and you try to turn away from his gaze but Clark smirks, pinning your head in place. “Unless you think Kidd can keep a secret.” 

“P-Please.” Is the only thing that you manage to get out. Both men think you are talking to Gabe so they nod at you to continue. You clench hard around Clark’s cock, whimpering loudly. “C-Clark, ple-please.” Clark smirks down at you as he realizes what you are asking for. He tightens his hand on the back of your neck, chuckling darkly.

“Here you are moments away from having your reputation destroyed and the only thing you can think about is coming?” Gabe chuckles with Clark. Clark leans down, a snarl painted on his face. “Pathetic.” He spits out.

You whine out, unable to control yourself. You tremble under Clark, clenching continuously around his cock as you come hard. Gabe can’t stop the small moan that slips from his lips as he watches you fall apart completely under the person that he thought you have been domming for 4 months. Clark doesn’t thrusting into you as he cackles at you,

“Stupid fucking mutt.” You moan loudly, nearly coming again just from that. Gabe can’t help but chuckle, all of this time he thought that you were fucking Clark, that you were overpowering him, dominating him. But this whole time you’ve been nothing but a bitch for Clark. You try to lift your head, the cold marble of the counter becoming uncomfortable. But Clark pushes your head down hard, growling.

“Stay fucking put, bitch.” You whimper and nod as best as you can. Even through the mirror you can tell that Gabe is rock hard in his jeans. Your eyes glaze over from the pleasure as you think about Gabe fucking you. Clark can tell that you are fucked out and in your own little world but he isn’t stopping until he cums in you. Your lips spread into a smile as you think about Clark and Gabe double teaming you. Before you can stop yourself, you moan out a soft,

“D-daddy!” Clark bites down on your shoulder hard to stop from moaning loudly as he cums deep inside of you. Gabe isn’t as lucky, he lets out an audible growl and steps towards you and Clark. You giggle as you relax under Clark, your body warm from the inside out. Clark notices Gabe moving closer and he snaps, growling at the younger man to back off. Gabe puts his hands up and stops moving. 

You gently wiggle your hips, Clark gets the message and pulls out of you. He doesn’t bother cleaning up himself before pulling his pants back up. He gently flips you around, taking the belt off from around your neck. You giggle as he kisses all of the marks that he left on your neck, his beard gently scratching you in a way that makes you feel loved. He grabs some toilet paper to clean you up, you thank him softly as he spreads your legs and cleans your sex. Clark throws the toilet paper out before coming back to you and helping you pull up your pants. Then he pulls out your shirt and helps you get that on as well. Once both of you look presentable you turn to Gabe, a sheepish look on your face.

“‘M really sorry that you saw that Gabe.” You take a step toward him and he blushes bright red, taking a small step back, hands guarding his erection. Clark comes to your side, putting his arm around your shoulder,

“Don’t think you have to apologize, darlin. Gabriel clearly enjoyed the show.” He smirks at the younger man before kissing your neck. “Now why don’t we give him a minute to sort himself out?” 

Gabe whimpers so softly that you think you imagined it. Clark leads you to the door, clapping Gabe on the shoulder before he rushes into a stall. You wait outside the bathroom, telling Clark that he can go back to the table if he wants. Clark kisses your cheeks and promises you to have a new cocktail waiting at the table. You surprisingly don’t have to wait too long for Gabe, he comes out of the bathroom, adjusting his pants. He doesn’t notice you until you are pinning him against the hallway wall. It takes him a minute to register what is happening and who is in front of him but when he does, he smirks down at you. Before you can think he has you flipped around so you are pinned against the wall, looking up at him.

“There we go, think this is much more suitable for you.” You whimper softly. Shaking your head gently to clear your not so pure thoughts. 

“G-Gabe.” You squeak out, he nods at you to continue. “Please don’t tell the others. I can’t let them know.” He leans down and for a minute you think he is going to kiss you but at the last minute he pulls away chuckling,

“Don’t worry sweetheart, your secret is safe with me.” He smirks as he turns and makes his way back to the main area of the bar, leaving you in shock next to the bathroom.

[scarskelly]

Father and son, celebrating the end of New Japan shows for 2023 with a lovely pic together.

Bonus: the equally lovely edit Fooj did to include everyone.

[evanesce-art]

Certified Fooj Moment™️

[schadentekkers]

[jupiterjunebug]

Bets on if they actually excursion these guys btw

[rennarita]

[unlikelywrestlingfan]

BIG FOOJ TAPPED OUT CLARK ALDKJALSDKJALJ