#food is highly questionable - alien one

[omgfangirlland]

The Shadows That Nurture 6

Enjoy Chapter 6! Ch8 will be a look into what has been happening in Ghotam and Ch9 will probably follow the first episode of Invincible.

We're slowly approaching the main timeline age, so if ya'll want a specific character to make an appearance or would like to see a specific plot line this is your time to speak now or forever remain silent /j

Masterlist || First || previous<< Chapter 6 >>next

He is crazy- he can’t just- He-!

You couldn’t even know where to begin telling what happened. One moment you were relaxing, enjoying the sun, living the dream- and then this old, 6 feet and 2 inches of pure muscle, alien-man thing just up and kidnaps you. Omni-Man kidnapped you with a simple “Hello, kid. Let’s go home.” You were more shocked than angry, to be honest, the man was just spewing nonsense as he flew you across the states.

Now, Nolan wouldn’t call it kidnapping- why, he’d never! He was just- cleaning up the streets, helping a homeless kid, even though he knew where she lived- it was adopting without all the other steps!

He was meticulous in his watching, not stalking, but watching, observing. When Cecil first called him, bringing to his attention a mysterious flying person coming and going from NYC, he was ready for a villain, an alien preparing to overtake NYC, anything but a tween kid shakily flying, almost hitting buildings and nearly being taken down by other flying heroes.

He knew she was no threat; he told Cecil as much- but he kept coming back. Something kept making him come back, just to look, to make sure she didn’t hurt herself or others- he kept telling himself. He knew deep inside why he came back every day for a year, it was the same reason why he married Debbie, it was the same reason why he couldn’t bring himself to hate his son.

Sure, she was living well, but the food she ate, if she remembered to, wasn’t sustainable, she needed home-cooked food, she needed socializing and training, she needed- she needed a family and stability. Nolan took the initiative to pack her bags and everything in her little apartment and move her into his and Debbie’s house, in the room next to Mark’s. And then, he took her.

You didn’t put up much of a fight if one at all, but really what could you say or do when Omi-Man has deemed you his and his wife’s kid, the man spoke of her highly, his son too, but still- He kidnapped you, you wouldn’t just stay- “And Debbie is making this roast beef with baked potatoes-“…

Some would call you weak, others would say you can be easily bought, but this was the greatest roast beef you had tasted in a long while. “This is amazing food, Mrs. Grayson.” You could play along for a while. The woman just smiled and thanked you, insisting on you calling her Debbie. The offer of ice cream made you sure you could play along for a long while.

She wasn’t initially happy with Nolan coming with a random kid under his arm, but one look at your disheveled appearance and wide eyes made her rethink everything. A daughter wouldn’t hurt, two kids would make the house happier, and you reminded her of those scuffed up little kittens, she didn’t have it in her to let you go without a meal at least.

Over dinner, you answered every question they threw at you, from your name to Mark asking if you like comics, but when they asked your age, you just shrugged. “Around 13-14? Can’t quite remember, I haven’t celebrated my birthday ever, mom just told me how old I was and then-“ Your body went rigid.

You were telling too much, getting too comfortable- but, maybe this was your chance at a true family. Can’t back down now, you could always just leave if you really wanted. The two adults understood as soon as you tensed up, Debbie immediately acting as her hand soothingly rubbed at your shoulder and back while they let you decide whether to continue or change the subject. “She died when I was five.”

She smiled at you softly, apologizing for prying and giving their condolences, something not even Alfred did. All Nolan saw was an opportunity to grab you and never let go, to give you what the father that clearly wasn’t in the picture never gave.

Mark just grabbed your wrist, a sad frown on his face. “I can share my parent with you. I know I’d be sad if mom or dad were gone. We can be siblings!” His bright smile was contagious, making you smile just as bright before your hopeful eyes met Debbie’s. She was sold a while back, as soon as you called her pretty while calling Nolan a bum and asking how she had the misfortune of marrying a brute, making the man grumble as he sat you on the couch, your hopeful glance just set it in stone.

Despite having a room all to yourself, you wanted to push. They were different to the Waynes, that was clear. They were warmer, talked to you, and it all felt so much better. So, you wanted to test the water by asking Mark if he’d be willing to share his bedroom with you tonight, not wanting to be alone. Not when you had the opportunity to soak in any attention they give you.

The boy was excited to have a sleepover in his room, eager to show you all the comics and toys he had- and neither Debbie nor Nolan could say no. Not to two pairs of puppy eyes. The adults were sure this weakness to saying no wouldn’t last… Hopefully.

Spending the night with Mark was amazing, it was everything you thought Dick and the other would give you. He showed you all his comics, letting you read all of them, and as the night settled and the stars were high in the sky you taught him about them. In the end, you both fell asleep in the pillow fort you made, comic books lying open around you. Your plans of escape quickly went out the window, this family thing with them felt like it was worth trying. You liked NYC, but maybe Chicago is where you belonged. And if the adults heard you two giggle and fuss around all night, they didn’t say anything.

By next week you were a Grayson, thanks to Cecil’s string-pulling. Looks like Nolan knew exactly what to say to make the man agree.

Tag list: @bat1212 @trashlanternfish360 @shycreatorreview @syrooo @a-lurking-fae @alittletiredcry @kittzu @plsfckmedxddy @blackhood1229 @nxdxworld @leeiasure @dandelion-delusion @lovebug-apple

my greatest fear is misspelling a name and tagging someone who has never seen this 🫠

[ozzgin]

do Xenomorphs pass the harkness test genuine question

I've seen a reddit thread arguing that they wouldn't, because they view humans as merely food/incubators. In my opinion, it's entirely plausible.

Does this character have human intelligence (or greater)? Depends on the Xenomorph. According to the wiki, "most Xenomorphs appear to possess an intelligence level equivalent to that of a typical primate." This refers mostly to the lower ranks, i.e. the drones or warriors. The Queen, however, is shown to have an advanced social behavior and understanding, much closer to humans. Additionally, there's always the chance of inheriting their host's properties, so a highly intelligent Xenomorph wouldn't be out of the equation. It would be interesting to see how a Deacon or Xenomorph evolved from an Engineer would behave, given it'd have a much more advanced starting point.

Can it talk or otherwise communicate with language? It has been shown that Xenomorphs can at least minimally communicate with each other. It is also hypothesized that they operate under a hive mind controlled telepathically by the Queen. Another snippet from the wiki regarding their communication: "There is evidence that the Xenomorph hive mind also includes a collective memory that passes along even at a genetic level. Through the tests conducted on Ellen Ripley, it is revealed that the memory passed from Ripley onto the new generation of Xenomorphs allows them to read and understand different languages. Events on the LV-426 colony and the USM Auriga show that the species excels at observational learning." Therefore, I believe a Xenomorph who has had the time to observe human behavior would most likely be able to understand certain cues.

Is it of sexual maturity for its species? Absolutely. We're talking about adult Xenomorphs here, the last cycle of their lives.

To summarize:

For 100% ethical certainty, go for a Xenomorph Queen. They're intelligent, can communicate, and are fully developed, sexually mature organisms.

Warrior and Drone Xenomorphs are grey areas, but hey, it's fiction. No one's going to stop you from being lewdly disemboweled by an aggressive Alien.

Facehuggers fail every criteria, so I'll be giving you a side-eye.

Take your hands off the baby Xenomorph,  rampallian! They are for gentle nursing and loving only.

[aeristudios]

updated 03/23/25

Here are a list of fics that I plan on releasing soon. I will try and be more consistent with releasing them on time (life just gets in the way). I will put a general release time unless I have a specific deadline. Any wips that I put down in my docs I will update here :)

Series

Regrets (seventeen series)-musician!Joshua x reader x bf!Dokyeom ⤷ angst, smut, fluff, romance, lovers to exes, 18+ —He was the one that broke your heart and said he wasn't ready to commit. Now, years later, when you've finally moved on, he writes a song about you, pushing you back into his orbit and into the spotlight. release date: spring/summer 2025

Fated Strut (seventeen series)-greek god!Jeonghan x model!reader ⤷ fluff, angst, smut, fantasy, doppleganger au, 18+ —In a whirlwind fashion show, a part-time model's life takes a mystical turn when she becomes the muse for the captivating Greek God Jeonghan. Unbeknownst to her, she shares a deep connection tied to his past. As their chemistry ignites amidst secrets and rivalries, will love conquer their complicated fates? release date: pt 2 coming spring/summer 2025

Fix On (Ateez series)- OT8 x reader ⤷ fluff, angst, smut, organized crime au, 18+ —“FIX ON!” an agency specializing in providing a myriad of services, from legitimate security solutions to discreet assistance in more questionable endeavors. Dive into the world of these 8 men with a highly special set of skills. release date: summer/fall 2025

Studio 54 (seventeen series)- OT13 x reader ⤷ fluff, angst, smut, 70's au, 18+ —You're in New York City, standing outside the infamous Studio 54 in the late 1970s. The iconic disco club is alive with pulsating lights, vibrant colors, and the electrifying energy of the nightlife. The air is thick with the scent of sweat, perfume, and the promise of a good time. What trouble will you get into? release date: summer/fall 2025

DJ Johnny's Station (NCT series)-select nct members x reader ⤷ fluff, angst, smut, a myriad of aus, 18+ —Have you ever listened to a love song and it reminded you of someone? Did it make you feel those feelings of the happy-ever-after or a tragic breakup? DJ Johnny is going to play 7 songs that will tell stories of love—and heartbreak. release date: finish rest of series by end of 2025

The Athlete (seventeen)- OT 13 x reader ⤷ fluff. angst, smut, football au, —summary coming soon but it's based in the universe as The Athlete release date: starting summer 2025

Secret Society (seventeen)- OT13 x reader ⤷ fluff, angst, smut, fantasy au, magic au, —summary coming soon! release date: winter 2025

Club Eusexua (seventeen)- multiple members x reader ⤷ fluff, angst?, smut, sex club au, 18+ — Club Eusexua— an exclusive club specializing in providing our members with an out-of-world experience courtesy of our specialized aphrodisiacs release date: TBA

Oneshots

title TBA (exo)- alien!Baekhyun x communications officer!reader ⤷fluff, angst, smut, aliens au, space au, 18+ —summary coming soon! release date: May 2025

His Lovely Bones (seventeen)- paleontologist!Jun x author reader ⤷fluff, angst, smut, opposites attract au, dark academia au —summary coming soon! release date: spring 2025

Lover Boy (seventeen)- ex bf! Mingyu x reader ⤷ angst, smut, lovers to exes au —the last person you wanted to spend Christmas vacation with was with your ex boyfriend from college. But here you are, and old feelings are starting to service again. release date: spring/summer 2025

See You Space Cowboy (seventeen)- bounty hunter!Wonwoo x fugitive!reader ⤷angst, smut, lovers to exes, space galaxy au, organized crime au, 18+ —summary coming soon! release date: summer 2025

Food Wars (seventeen)- chef!Mingyu x chef!reader ⤷ fluff, angst, smut, coworkers to lovers au, 18+ —You and Mingyu are rival but friendly chefs competing for a spot to be an executive chef at a new location in Madrid. This position would change your life; no matter how attractive he is, you WILL get that spot. (note: this is a rewrite) release date: summer 2025

untitled fic (seventeen)- gardener!Dokyeom x reader ⤷ fluff, angst, maybe smut?, single mom au, childhood friends au? —summary coming soon release date: spring/summer 2025

untitled fic (ateez)- vampire!Hongjoong x vampire!reader ⤷angst, fluff?, smut, vampire au, royalty au, horror —summary coming soon release date: October 2025

If you have any questions about my wips, send me an ask so I can yap with you :)

[davenweenie]

I was doing a little rewatch of TWD (as every sane individual does) and here is how I think Lab Rats characters would be like in a zombie apocalypse. God, this is so niche.

Donald Davenport: would not survive, too high maintenance, would lock himself in the lab and eventually run out of food OR would get bit by a walker that sneaks up on him.

Tasha Davenport: probably would adapt eventually but in the way that either Michonne Grimes or Carol Peletier do. They adapt because of the losses they go through.

Douglas Davenport: was born for the apocalypse, would probably be the Daryl Dixon or Rick Grimes in this situation but a lot more relaxed and more talkative.

Leo Dooley: would survive but takes a while to adapt. Definitely the Noah of this storyline (probably because Leo’s actor’s brother played Noah 😭) still very funny, dark humour activated and would be a very important asset to the group. Potentially becomes some type of engineer or builder in the community.

Adam Davenport: part of me wants to say he’d survive easily but at the same time, I feel like he’d get himself killed doing the dumbest shit possible like getting sick from drinking contaminated water or accidentally shooting himself while cleaning a gun. I truly want him to survive but let’s be realistic here.

Bree Davenport: would survive, no questions asked. Her speed is awesome for supply runs and she will never be bit because she’s too fast.

Chase Davenport: would adapt the quickest because of his intelligence, his super senses are great for hearing walkers from miles away and he automatically knows how to do everything because of his super intelligence. Would find a cure for the virus like almost immediately though to be honest.

Additionally, the EF

Skylar Storm: same as Bree, would never be bit, would adapt super fast (like hello, alien who adapted to human customs almost immediately)

Kaz: has read so many zombie comic books and thinks he knows everything but actually takes a while to adapt. Becomes one of the doctors of the group and because of that is highly valued. He’s also great for starting campfires too.

Oliver: would take a while to adapt, vomited a few times when he saw a walker being killed or when he killed one. Also highly valued because he’s a doctor. I feel like he’d have a similar development as Father Gabriel tbh. Also very useful for creating clean water for people.

[shutupineedtothink]

X files 2x01 mini analysis/review!

Ok theres just some stuff I have to get off my chest about this ep. Which was stellar BTW.

I have to admit, the s1 finale was good but didn't reach the high highs of eps like beyond the sea and tooms for me.

But this one delivered at the top of s2 which is exactly what you have to do to kick off a second season.

Also pleasantly surprised that they aren't just immediately back on the x files by the end of the episode! I wonder how long this will play out but I hope it's another episode or two at least.

Some superficial stuff first: thank actual Jesus they put Mulders hair back the way it was, his terrible military haircut in the last few eps of s1 was so not it. I was instantly like omg his hair is back thank youuuuu

Loved the location change in this ep, basically putting Mulder in a bottle while Scully hunts him down.

RIP Jorge I only caught a little bit of the Español but my guess is he was saying there's aliens out there dude

Ok backtracking a bit - i loved the scene of them meeting in the parking garage at Watergate of all places. Scullys like what do I have to do to get you to talk to me bro and he's just looking soooo worse for wear. I normally love the chiaroscuro thing they do with the lighting all the time but this was a little intense on the shadow on her face. I love that she sort of not ruffles his hair but lays a hand on his head before she leaves. She's trying to comfort 12 year old Mulder in that moment.

Speaking of 12 year old Mulder, we see the full flashback to his sisters abduction. And I think we're meant to assume the same aliens show up at the station. That was wild and very spooky.

Love all the little espionage moments from Scully mainly in this ep. Getting the paper from the surveillance guys by scooping fish food into it? A+. Shaking the tail at the airport? A++. I love how determined she is to find him as soon as she figures out he's gone.

Meanwhile, Mulder is on his own, but speaking into the recorder- and we only learn he's been speaking to Scully the whole time after he says her name when he's going through the initial autopsy observations. At first I was like oh, he's assuming that she'll be conducting the actual autopsy at some point so that's why he's talking to her. David also does this great tone shift where he’s trying to be very scientific and methodical with his observations in the beginning but then you can hear his voice start to break down with fear and doubt when he says her name. Anyway, after that I realized no, I think we're meant to take it that he's been talking to her through the recorder the WHOLE TIME. he feels more lost and alone than he ever has but she'll never leave the back of his mind from now on. 😭

It really speaks highly of a two hander show when you can separate those characters for the majority of the episode and it not only still works but it still works really well. And I think it’s because you feel this magnetic pull from both of them always trying to get back to the other, whether it’s Scully literally searching for Mulder or Mulder talking to Scully through the recorder.

Bouncing back to Mulder and the recorder, I LOVE that he’s like I’ve been looking for these aliens my whole life but what would I actually do if they showed up? Such an important question for him to ask, and he finds out real quick.

I love that when Scully finally shows up she doesn’t have much to do except wake him up and get him moving - but he would be soooo dead if she hadn’t showed up. He’s basically half out of his mind, and without her there to be like come on we gotta go, no we can’t take this dead body, no we don’t have time for the print outs, come on you can’t find proof if you’re dead - he would’ve never made it. So you know. Partner shit. Obsessed.

The car chase through the jungle was WILD. Some of the shots of that fucking truck bouncing around were so ridiculous but yeah I loved it. I had to wonder, how did they get on a plane after that? Did they just roll up to the airport in that truck and leave it there? Did they switch vehicles first? Change clothes? Use fake names? Like how covert did they have to be to get out of there. I had a thought midway through S1 that a fun fic series would be their plane rides/car rides home after each case and what they would talk about and that would certainly apply here.

Ok final scene in the basement. First of all, where the fuck are they that they’re in this janky dark room with the most disgusting looking sink behind them listening to surveillance tapes. Whatever I get it, Mulder’s in the FBIs doghouse but that room seemed excessively gross. The lighting tho? Peak as always.

I’ve still got my work - long pause - I still have you - I gasped - I still have myself. I LOVED this line. Because a) our boy is back, mostly. B) I love that he doesn’t look at her when he says I still have you, he’s futzing with the tape player thing, but her head snaps up toward him so fast. And c) when he says I still have myself, we know he has his confidence back. Trust no one, but trust your partner and trust yourself. It’s Mulder and Scully against the world baby, and I’m ready for it.

Again, not so mini review but there you have it. Cheers to s2!

[syrakhanistan]

((What if the desert place at the end of PMMM and during Rebellion… isn’t Earth?

What if it’s the Incubator homeworld? It would explain the complete lack of human habitation, the level of devastation, and the amount of Incubators and their technology there. A species like that probably doesn’t have need of traditional dwellings or cities; they don’t even need food from what we see (they eat from the Quintets’ lunch boxes predominantly out of social etiquette).

What if it’s the last planet in the universe? Or one of the last planets? And the Incubators trapped Homura for the Madoka plan as a last ‘Hail Mary’ at the end of time itself?

Of course, it could just be a random desert, or Earth in the far future. But… we still know very little about the Incubators or where they come from, aside from the fact that they’re space aliens, likely a hivemind species, and they’re concerned about preventing the heat death of the universe - which likely indicates a Kardashev Type 3 or even further type civilisation.

And even if this is all just speculation and whatnot - I still wonder about the nature of the alien species. Did they evolve into a hive mind, or did they just spontaneously become one? Were they always rat-cat like creatures? Did they come from a single highly advanced society, planet or nation, or are they some sort of alliance? Are there different types of Incubator that perform different roles within the hivemind? Are there Incubators that have nothing to do with the Magical Girl programme, and instead attend to other facets of the universe?

So many questions, so little time…))

[most-datable-datable-bracket]

ROUND 2 MATCH 47

Polly propaganda:

"Polly comes across as a party girl. She's wild, she likes sex, she likes drugs, she likes drinks. She is besties with Scott and Vera. She loves pulling pranks. She's fun all around. But as you get to know her throughout her endings across the three games, you discover a deep sadness within her. She's a chess master. She loves Russian literature. She's actually kind of a genius. She had a hard life but she won't let that stop her afterlife. Her secret ending in the first game about how she actually died (which she lies about all the time) absolutely broke my heart. She's just so nuanced and layered. She brings out the best in the player characters because she wants them to understand that you can have fun and goof off and it not be the end of the world. She has lots of backstory and she's major plots in both the first game (Prom) and the third (Roadtrip). I highly recommend playing the games because experiencing her secret endings in both is just absolutely heart wrenching."

Jaal propaganda:

“His romance is all about trust gained, vulnerability and making each other feeling safe and he's SO sweet throughout. Player character (Ryder) arrives unannounced on the planet where Jaal's species live, and he joins them to assess their intentions. He's slow to trust (last aliens that they made contact with literally started a decades-long war against his people) but after a while he can start to open up (he responds well to Ryder trusting him and not intervening in certain scenarios, choosing to help his people rather than just finish a mission, honesty in general). He's curious about everything, eager to share knowledge on language, food, biology, culture, literally anything that comes to his mind. He likes tinkering and understanding how things work, he writes poetry and he sews. If romanced, he invites Ryder to his home to meet his mother(s) and the rest of the family, tells them "You make my heart sing" and asks them if they want to be together. Eventually he will take Ryder on a date to his favorite place on the planet to confess his love (player can agree to an intimate scene but it progresses the same even if they say no to him). After they officially get together he'll start using pet names like "Darling one" or "dearest" or "amazing heart" or "You are the light that we all follow, that I follow". Plus, after Ryder meets her, his mother starts doting on you and sending you emails to ask questions to make them feel 100% welcomed in the family (especially since Ryder is human and they face public scrutiny for being of two different planets/species). He's constantly smitten for the player character and not afraid to make it clear for everyone in the general vicinity.”

[nellasbookplanet]

Book recs: vampires

Listen, vampires are a classic for a reason, but they have also been done to death (pardon the pun) to the point that finding books that are creative with the premise can be a bit of a slog through tired old tropes. Hopefully this rec list can be to a bit of help for all vampire fans out there wanting something fresh!

For details on the books, continue under the readmore

Previous rec posts:

Really cool fantasy worldbuilding

Really cool sci-fi worldbuilding

Dark sapphic romances

Mermaid books

Sci-fi vampires:

Fledgling by Octavia Butler

Octavia Butler my beloved, literally you cannot go wrong with one of her books. Fledgling follows what at first seems to be a ten-year-old amnesiac girl, who finds out she is in fact a decades old vampire on the run from others of her kind. The vampires here are a separate species from human, not supernatural, and are as a whole very fascinating and unsettling. Come in prepared for fucked up power dynamics.

Blindsight by Peter Watts

Vampires and aliens and questions of the nature of consciousnesses, oh my. Not a vampire novel so much as a scifi novel about aliens in which there also happens to be vampires (one of which is captain of a spaceship sent to explore an alien ship just entering the solar system). Another example of vampires as an entire separate species, but more horror focused than Fledgling. No, seriously, this book will fuck you up, highly recommend if you're okay with a lot of techno babble and existential horror.

Peeps (Peeps duology) by Scott Westerfeld

Young adult. Vampirism as a sexually transmitted parasite that turns most people into bloodthirsty monsters. Cal is an asymptomatic carrier working to find other infected before they hurt people, including his own former girlfriends. But there is something else lurking in the dark, an ancient enemy of the vampire parasite...

Post apocalypse vampires:

The Hallowed Ones (The Hallowed Ones duology) by Laura Bickle

Young adult. Katie is an Amish girl eagerly awaiting her rumspringa, when she gets to try out the outside world. But before she has the chance, something happens to the Outside; a nearby town is wiped out, and something evil stalks the night. To protect their community, the Amish elders decide that no one can leave and no one can enter the sacred ground that makes up their home. That is, until Katie finds an injured young man and decides to help him.

The Company of Death by Elisa Hansen

Wild mix of genres, where a zombie apocalypse has struck and vampires gather up humans to keep their food source from going extinct, a robot travels across America with a young man she's tasked to keep safe, and former-vampire-hunter-recent-zombie Emily teams up with Death himself to stop the apocalypse. Features bi and ace characters! Bonus rec: the author also runs the youtube channel Maven of the Eventide, where she talks about various vampire media. Check it out!

The Immortal Rules (Blood of Eden trilogy) by Julie Kagawa

Young adult. Another zombie apocalypse (well; feral vampires) scenario in which vampires gather humans up to keep their food safe. Allison Sekemoto hates vampires, but when she ends up on the brink of death and is offered a way out, she has no choice but to take it. Hunted by a mad vampire and forced to flee the relative safety of her city, Allie must enter the post-apocalyptic outside world and team up with the free humans roaming there, seeking a cure for the undead plague that ravages the world.

Urban fantasy vampires:

Certain Dark Things by Silvia Moreno-Garcia

Queen of fucked up gothic horror, Silvia Moreno-Garcia, comes for vampires in this gritty novel following Domingo, a garbage collecting street kid in a Mexico City where vampires walk the streets. His life gets turned upside down when he meets Atl, a vampire descendant of Aztec blood drinkers who’s on the run and needs all the help she can get.

Sunshine by Robin McKinnley

Urban fantasy on a level of its own, where dangerous magic exists alongside humans. It keeps you guessing and much is left unexplained; if you want clear answers and explanations to everything you might be disappointed, but if you want a world that feels mysterious and dangerous and lived in you'll probably like it. It follows a baker who, after getting kidnapped by vampires, gets embroiled in a dangerous struggle and has to team up with one of them to survive. The vampires here are really inhuman and unsettling.

The Coldest Girl in Coldtown by Holly Black

Young adult. After vampirism swept the land, special Coldtowns were built to quarantine anyone bitten, whether they have turned or not. After having survived a massacre at a party in which her ex-boyfriend got bit, Tana sets out with him and mysterious vampire to reach the nearest Coldtown, not knowing if she’ll ever be able to leave it again.

Modern vampires:

Let the Right One In by John Ajvide Lindqvist

Swedish literary novel set in the 1980s. Follows twelve-year-old Oskar, a troubled and bullied boy who befriends his new neighbor, Eli. But there’s something strange about Eli, such as her only coming out at night. Also available as two separate movie adaptations (I highly recommend the Swedish original; the American remake is perfectly adequate standard horror fare, the original is a masterpiece).

Woman, Eating by Claire Kohda

Literary novel following Lydia, who’s grown up as a vampire under the thumb of her mother, who’s been obsessed with self-hate over their existence as blood drinkers. Finally on her own for the first time in her life, Lydia moves to London hoping to make it as an artist. But surviving alone as a vampire is harder than expected. Slow and fairly light on plot, but utterly captivating.

Companions of the Night by Vivian Vande Velde

Young adult. After Kerry saves a young man from three attackers who claim he's a vampire, she's drawn into a dangerous game and forced to work with a manipulative vampire. Pre-cursor to the modern ya vampire genre, Companions of the Night utilizes many of the same tropes but in very different ways, making it a unique experience.

Historical and fantasy vampires:

A Dowry of Blood by S.T. Gibson

Dracula inspired novella, following Constanta, who’s turned from a medieval peasant to an undead bride. As time passes the relationship between Dracula and Constanta grows all the more strained and potentially dangerous. Teaming up with his two other consorts, she seeks to unravel her husband's secrets. Sapphic and polyamorous.

The Gilda Stories by Jewelle Gomez

Having escaped from slavery in the 1850s, young Gilda is taken in by a vampire, and eventually finds herself turned as well. Consists of a series of novellas following Gilda throughout the centuries, from the past to the present to the future. It’s also sapphic!

House of Hunger by Alexis Henderson

In a world where the rich drink blood to preserve their health, Marion applies to a position as bloodmaid in a notorious noble house far from home. Suddenly showered with luxuries and debauchery, Marion soon gains the interest and favor of Lisavet, countess of the house. A fresh take on the idea of vampires and deliciously dark sapphic romance.

Bonus AKA I haven't read these yet but they seem really cool

The Hunger by Whitley Strieber

Ancient vampire is on the hunt for a new partner, none of which tend to last long.

My Soul to Keep (African Immortals series) by Tananarive Due

I keep seeing this one described as a vampire book, and once stumbled on the description "almost a vampire book" and listen by now I'm simply curious to see what it's about.

Team Human by Justine Larbelestier & Sarah Rees Brennan

Young adult. As far as I can tell, a satire on typical ya vampire romances.

The Madness Season by C.S. Friedman

*chanting* vampires in space vampires iN SPACE

The Lost Girls by Sonia Hartl

Young adult, sapphic. Three vampire girls turned and abandoned by the same vampire get together to stop him from turning yet another girl.

The Balance of Fates by Raquel Raelynn

Young adult, sapphic. A girl enters a competition against vampires and werewolves, complicated by her feelings for one of her vampire competitors.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Oh my god I was thinking of potential crossovers with Dune and just remembered Aro exists. Like if you drop any other character in Arrakis you would have a very hard time to get them understand the setting but Aro can read minds with a touch. By the way what do you think happens when a vampire eats a Sandworm, which venom is stronger? Or can a Bene Gesserit or Paul survive vampire venom with their witchy powers? I am thinking a starving Carlisle tries to eat one because there is no goddamn animals in that planet and immediately regrets everything.

Aro would have a leg up in that sense and the "he is virtually indestructible sense". Though I imagine he'd be very sad on Arrakis where everyone's blood tastes like this weird blue shit (canonically, in Twilight, humans with substances in their bloodstream/medical issues are notably less appealing than others).

But onto your questions

What Happens When a Vampire Eats a Sandworm

The thing about vampires is they seem to be extremely adapted to Earth. Their main food source is human (hooray, it's plentiful) and in a pinch they can subsist off animal blood, namely the Cullens seem big on mammals so we don't know if things like fish or lizards work out for them.

An alien sandworm with completely different blood that also produces a highly toxic hallucinogenic wunder venom that lets people see the past and the future and develop psychic powers? I don't think that's even going to smell remotely edible. We're not even talking animal edible, we're talking Carlisle would try and would vomit.

So, it's not so much that the worm's venom is more powerful it's just that... whatever vampires use to process the blood they ingest (do they still have livers? the world will never know) it's probably not going to like what that is and the vampire in question is going to vomit. The same way they do when they eat other materials they're not supposed to eat.

As to whether they'd trip balls or not... Well, probably not, but we don't know. Again, vampires vomit up other substances they can't consume, and we have no mention of any ability to get drunk or in any way poison themselves. Probably because they don't have livers the way we do and use something else to process/purify their blood intake. So, my guess would be no.

Can a Bene Gesserit/Paul Survive a Vampire?

No.

The thing about vampires is they move so fast that they could kill them long before they do anything. Their shot would be in that Paul specifically could foresee it happening extremely clearly, and simply choose the actions such that it doesn't happen, and the Bene Gesserit might maybe sort of kind of be able to guess it will happen and try their best to avoid it.

If the vampire's sitting around they can try to use the voice, but this may not work on vampires, as there's a very physical aspect to it that might not sound right to a vampire's ears.

So if a vampire makes them go splat, they're going splat.

But What About Venom?

Venom's a different story and the answer is probably yes. The Bene Gesserit, and Paul as well, are highly trained to be able to psychicly purge poisons from their bodies. This is how/why Jessica survives becoming a Reverand Mother and why only Bene Gesserit survive this process. Paul is notably trained in this as well.

Given we see that the venom can be sucked out in canon by Edward, I imagine a trained Bene Gesserit would have more than enough time to be able to purge it from their bodies with minimal/no side effects.

[sephirthoughts]

Hi! I hope you had a good day today.

For the ask game, what are your thoughts on 5 and 9 for Sephiroth?

I did, thank you! I hope you had a good day, too!

ON TO THE BURNING QUESTIONS

5. Sephiroth is such a wonderful layer-cake of pathologies, it's so fun to dissect the impacts on his personality. He is autistic-spectrum, hyper-intelligent, alienated, deeply insecure, and feels he has no 'place in the world'. Despite his insistence, under Jenova's influence, that he's the chosen one and meant to rule the world, he has rock-bottom self-esteem and almost no sense of self. He knows he's different but he has no idea who he is. Add being raised in a lab, horribly abused, and treated like a weapon rather than a person his whole life, and there's not a lot of Sephiroth left.

This would affect his living space in that it'd be generic, impersonal, highly functional, basically empty, serving its purpose as a place to rest, and nothing else. Has place to lie down, has place to shower, has place to dress=meets criteria. I doubt he'd notice if there were even blankets on the bed. It's a Sephiroth storage container, more than a living space. Which is terribly sad and now I am sad. BOOOO ME

Whether he's messy or not is another question. He honestly strikes me as someone who hates disorder if he ever thinks about it. The problem is, he does not think about it. He has executive function issues (see: his bout of manic hyperfocus in the archives, where he had books just strewn everywhere and didn't eat or sleep or bathe for days), and is generally unaware of anything pertaining to his own self-care, including messiness/dirtiness, unless they become a nuisance that disrupts his current fixation.

When he was being raised in the lab, he was a child, so there were people who cleaned, cooked, washed his clothing, etc., and in SOLDIER they definitely had people to take care of those kind of domestic things, so they could focus on training. Hence, he never learned to clean up after himself.

All of this wouldn't matter much, in a living situation with custodial services, but if left to his own devices, his combined lack of awareness, neglect of his own needs, and inexperience with such things would create a perfect storm. He'd forget to take the garbage out, never pick up after himself, not do the dishes, have takeout boxes everywhere, and have no idea that dusting, mopping, vacuuming, etc. even exist as concepts. I think his living space would be kind of awful. But he wouldn't notice.

That is, until Angeal comes over, has seven simultaneous brain aneurysms, leaves and returns with Zack and cleaning supplies, and they spend the next ten hours deep-cleaning the place, while Sephiroth insists it's not that bad.

9. This accords so nicely with number 5! Because he'd be a terrible roommate.

-He'd be quiet, courteous, and never have parties or eat your food, but he'd leave stupid long silver hairs all over everything (the less said about the bathroom shower drain the better), never clean up after himself, and act confused when asked to do so.

-He is definitely the type to always be forgetting his house key. Like, he may as well not have one.

-He leaves that stupid, ultra-sharp, nine-foot-long sword just LYING AROUND WHEREVER. Someone is going to lose a foot.

-He thinks he's a great cook and likes to share his talent with people, and he's too sweetly sincere and excited about it, so you can't bear to break his heart, and you wind up gritting your teeth and smiling through a plate of sticky, pasty, mushy pasta, with sauce made from frankly baffling ingredients (you put walnuts in the marinara? ohhhh...how…interesting. is this an anchovy?).

-He casually says absolutely horrible, emotionally devastating things, without realizing they're horrible. Example:

person: my mom was so forgetful, she always used to burn the garlic bread and she'd mix up my brother's lunch box and mine half the time

sephiroth: haha yeah, i know what you mean. on several occasions, Hojo forgot to send someone to change my IV, when he left me strapped to an exam table in the basement lab for multiple days, and i nearly died of dehydration and malnutrition

person:

sephiroth: parents, right?

-Lastly, Sephiroth absolutely never wears a shirt and in fact doesn't even own one. This is not an annoying habit, this is the habit that makes all the other ones worth putting up with.

[sagevalleymusings]

Man or Bear? Is a Stupid Dichotomy, but No One on Tumblr Will Believe Me

So there’s this meme that’s been going around… ‘which would you rather run into alone in the woods: a man, or a bear?’ I’ve heard a couple of variations on the answer (which of course is always ‘I choose the bear’) - at least someone would believe me about the bear attack, it depends on the bear… I’ve even heard the variant where a man will answer, well it depends on the man or the bear, but then if you ask the question, alone in the woods with a woman or a bear, well there’s no question!

Here’s the thing. I hate this thought experiment. For a lot of reasons, and I worry this essay will be nothing but me circling the point like a vulture if I try and write it without structure so as a spoiler, here’s the main three reasons: it treats violence from men against women as a personal threat and not a systemic issue, it continues to perpetuate the narrative of violence as heteropatriarchal, and it completely ignores race, even though race is highly prevalent when talking about gender and violence in America. 

Are you ready to get into it?

The Violence is Unstated but it isn’t Subtext

Whether they mean to or not, when thinking about the man or bear prompt, people are primed by the language to come to a specific conclusion. People are thinking about men and bears as two things in a set and priming themselves for the belief that if it is a choice between the two, we are assessing the threat of two different apex predators. Everyone knows why you are asking this question, so everyone whether they realize it or not is answering as though what you meant is obviously, ‘would you rather be assaulted by a man or a bear?’ All of the responses hinge on the assumption that one of the two will assault you. We are less primed to think immediately of violence if the question is ‘would you rather be alone in the woods and run into a man or a blobfish’ for example. 

But even that phrase, ‘alone in the woods’ evokes a long history of horror media and potentially even an evolutionary fear of predators. What about the question, ‘would you rather be alone in a tiger enclosure with a man, or with a tiger?’ ‘Would you rather be alone at a pet food store with a man or a coyote?’ 

Because if we’re being honest… I think I’d rather be assaulted by a bear too. And it has nothing to do with thinking that men are more physically dangerous. If my options are to be assaulted by a man or by a bear, at least a bear is alien and inhuman. It’s assaulting you for food, or for defense of her cubs, but a man would be deliberately causing another person harm, with the intent to terrorize. A bear is more likely to kill you accidentally, but there’s something about psychological violence that makes it more frightening even though it is less deadly. 

And from what I’ve seen, the responses do seem to know this. Posts that actually get into the why talk about the fear of being followed home, the frustration with not being believed, the long-term psychological damage of the consequences of rape without Roe V Wade, the jeering catcalls and general lack of empathy… it’s never about the physical danger or threat of death that a man could bring, but all the things a man could bring that a bear literally could not, which are ultimately more frightening and insidious, precisely because they are not physical.

In previous iterations of this essay, I spent a long and arduous time proving why, when people cite that bears are more violent, it’s a faulty comparison. And I want to still get into that, but I don’t want to lose sight of this point. I agree that if my options were to be assaulted by a man or a bear, I would also prefer a bear. A bear can only kill you. 

But the question isn’t ‘which would you be assaulted by’ it’s ‘run into alone.’ And because we are talking about one while meaning the other (foreshadowing) it absolutely encourages the assumption that running into a man alone is inherently a risk. I’ve seen people say this explicitly in response. I don’t like that this thought experiment leads to people talking about men as inherently violent, and I want to get into why I have a problem with that part.

But before I do, I want to be very clear that this is going to sound like me saying #notallmen, but I do take violence against women very seriously. I have never been more than casually groped by a man, which is relevant here when talking about lived experience, but I am still a woman and so I do understand the psychology that goes into having to take active precautions against violence from your fellow humans in a way that men just do not have to think about. But in the socioeconomic climate we find ourselves in, I think it bears considering that some women are thinking about male violence… a little too much. 

Crime Statistics and White Hegemony

I’ve talked about this before, but there is a difference between ‘men commit more violent crimes’ and ‘men get convicted of more violent crimes.’ But when it comes to talking about rates of violence, we talk like we are speaking about the former while using the rates of the latter. And it cannot be left unsaid when talking about rates of conviction that black men get convicted of violent crimes at much higher rates than white men. 

At the same time… there has been a real and genuine shift in our conversations about consent in the last forty years. Some of the numbers have not caught up yet but it’s important to bear in mind that violent crime of all kinds has been steadily going down for a long time. Part of the reason we don’t talk about this is because the American hegemony is reliant on prison as a form of capital and population control, and so politicians have a vested interest in keeping you specifically afraid of the dangers of violent outsiders.

It can still be propaganda even if it isn’t Mexicans specifically you are calling rapists and murderers.

This can be really hard for people who have been subject to violent crime to hear. And the numbers are pretty disappointing, even still. Patriarchal violence is real and present in America. But I will stand firm in my conviction that although violence from humans does represent a danger in the world, the way in which we talk about violence as an act men specifically do against women specifically is unhelpful for combating both systemic violence and personal violence. And even though we don’t think we’re doing ‘white women’s tears’ we absolutely are, because our statistics about violent crime in America come from conviction rates, which means we are basing our fear of all men on black men in specific. 

When is Personal Violence Systemic?

I’m going to circle back to this point about violent crime, statistics, and racism, but I want to tangent briefly to talk about statistics normalization. 

I saw one post early on which cited some actual numbers, and claimed that bears killed 8 women in North America between 2020-2022, while men killed 12,000 women in that time. 

So about that population density…

There are approximately 800,000 brown and black bears in North America, the populations responsible for those 8 deaths. Meanwhile, there are approximately 225,407,000 legally adult males in the United States and Canada. That means that the ratio of deaths per bear in North America is 0.001% per bear. And the number of murders per adult man in North America is 0.005%. That does still mean that you are five times more likely to be murdered by a man than a bear, but… that is absolutely a zero percent chance of being murdered no matter what. Does that mean I think personal protection against that slim chance is pointless? Not really, they mostly never get used but do help when they are. But it’s important to bring up how rare it is already because there is another factor here that we’re not taking into consideration. It’s called negativity bias.

Have you ever seen a bear in the wild? Probably not, right? There’s not that many and they’re mostly in the forest. I would guess that a majority of people who actually do see a bear in the woods do get attacked by that bear. You’ve been in the woods with a bear, you just didn’t see them. The majority of the time, bears don’t care about you. You are a predator, and they’re an enormous mammal that just doesn’t have the energy for that fight. Bears get a reputation as violent animals much for the same reason that sharks do - because they are a dangerous predator, and if you do see one, that’s already a step too far.

So… Have you ever seen a man? Sounds like a dumb question, you presumably have a father. But go on this journey with me. There’s a likelihood that if you are inside of the North America demographics we’ve been talking about this whole time, you do not live in a female-exclusive commune that kicks little boys out of their den the second they stop breastfeeding, yes that is a real thing. 

In which case, there are probably men you interact with. Dare I say it on a daily basis. Rural towns look safer on the surface but in fact when you adjust for population they are not, they just have less people and therefore less opportunity for disruption. This is why we have to adjust for population when we do demographics in general, but the fact that bears and people do not share the same social sphere means that adjusting for demographics does not truly normalize these two numbers. We are literally comparing apples and oranges. Are you more likely to be assaulted by the guy ringing up your groceries, or the lynx that just gave you a warning growl?

You are far more likely to die in a car crash than a plane crash, even after normalizing the data for per vehicle, per passenger, per mile, or per trip. But we don’t act like that’s true because for most people most of the time, cars are incredibly safe - millions of people drive millions of cars safely every single day. The risk is negligible not because the number of automobile accidents are low - they aren’t. It’s negligible because when accounting for daily risk, cars occur in our daily life so frequently that we stop thinking about it as dangerous.  

The risk of being attacked by a random man is, genuinely, also negligible. Choosing literally any adult man on earth to find yourself alone in the woods with versus any bear, you are physically safer choosing the man, statistically, not that you needed me to point that out because it’s the one thing the MRAs have figured out about this thought experiment and they won’t shut up about it. 

But none of that matters emotionally, because of the negativity bias. Men are more likely to be the perpetrators of violent crime. Not by as much as you would think, and more on that later, but what this means is that if something dangerous has happened to you, it was probably done by a man. This is why the response to #notallmen was #yesallwomen. We become primed to believe men are threats not because they are, but because if we’ve experienced harm, it’s been by men. And that negativity bias is a bias. The hundreds of normal interactions you have in your day to day are normal. 

But just because most men are fine doesn’t really change how people feel about it, does it? All of this stuff is subject to context, and if your context is negative, your conclusions will be negative. It depends on the man, it depends on the bear. If you see a polar bear at even twenty miles, you’re dead. Radio the base to warn them and pray to your god kind of dead. Polar bears are extremely territorial and more importantly they’re so much larger than us that they think we’re prey, which is not true of any other species of bear. I would rather be stuck in the woods with Ted Bundy than a polar bear, at least I have a chance of taking Ted Bundy in a fight. But if I have to choose between a sun bear and Matt Walsh, I’m definitely okay chilling with the sun bear. Hell, there is a long list of men no longer in my life right now that I wouldn’t choose before a sun bear. So believe me, I do get it. 

Heteropatriarchal Assumptions

But the thing is, I would absolutely say it depends on the woman and it depends on the bear. I was living with four people, and the cops showed up because the two women got into a fist fight. My ex girlfriend was abusive. I moved three hundred miles because a woman was stalking me.

Women can also be violent. To quote from me: Women are less likely to be reported as perpetrators of violent crime, more likely to receive smaller sentences or warnings for the same crimes, and more likely to use methods which aren't considered assault (like emotional abuse). And when you look at self reports instead of crime statistics, the gender gap is much lower.

I had this complaint about #metoo when it first came around and people started posting the corresponding hashtag #believewomen. For starters, it doesn’t take almost any kind of queer domestic experiences into consideration. It’s hard to talk about for example partner violence in lesbian separatist circles where they firmly believe that violence is a male only behavior. The few times I tried mentioning people I knew who weren’t women who’d been raped or assaulted by women, I was told to sit down and shut up, because this conversation was about male violence against women and nothing else. And yeah, sure, it is… but it shouldn’t be. 

Which I think is a good opportunity to circle back to negativity bias, because I did check those murder rate statistics by the way. 

The number of women murdered in the United States and Canada between 2020-2022 was nearly exactly 12,000 - it was 12,075. This isn’t women murdered by men by the way - it’s all women murdered, regardless of the gender of the perpetrator. I can’t say for certain how many women were murdered by men specifically (most crimes are more frequently in-group violence), but I can say specifically that only about 78% of the perpetrators were men.

And also 77% of the victims. The number of men murdered in the same time frame was 44,715. Over three times higher. The numbers from our ‘man or bear’ folks deliberately remove the 6 men killed by bears and over forty-thousand men murdered in the same time frame. 12,000 looks pretty scary if the number you are comparing it to is 8. But it doesn’t look very large at all if the number you’re comparing it to is 44,000. 

‘Men are murdered at disproportionately high rates compared to women’ is a thing which at this point would feel true if I said it, but again we’re looking at conviction rates. I got these US numbers straight from the FBI. Both the US and Canada notoriously have a high number of missing and murdered women. 

Wait, I think I’m missing a word in there… oh right. Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women.

Oops All Racism

That’s right I’m talking about race again. I find it almost offensive as a white woman when I hear other white women talking about the threat of violence as an epidemic. The demographic info everyone is sharing about murders disproportionately represents people of color in the perpetrator column and the victim column. That 12,000 number just isn’t about me. We cannot have this conversation unless we are willing to look at intersectionality. I will 100% always and without reservation believe a black or brown woman when she says that she feels threatened. But I extend less grace to my fellow white women. We have been tools of white hegemony for a long, long, long time. America’s system of oppression, including patriarchal oppression, relies on our fear of male violence to maintain control.

I cannot help but have a conspiratorial voice in my head whispering that it serves white hegemony to keep me, a white woman, afraid of men in general while pretending that it’s not black men we’re talking about. From a practical standpoint, a fear and distrust of all men has not and does not lead to white men being convicted at the same rate. Even if you use the language of feminism to justify that fear. What it does lead to is continued reliance on a criminal justice system which fails to arrest for crimes committed, fails to convict for crimes arrested, and disproportionately punishes people of color and black men in specific as an extension of slavery. 

If I find myself alone in the woods with a black man, let’s be real here… the threat in that space is not the man. It’s me. 

So What Now?

In conclusion, I think that painting men as the target of our ire in a conversation about patriarchal violence is the wrong tactic, because it teaches a fear of personal violence that from a sociological perspective bears out in increased policing of black and brown men only. I believe that the conversation we should be having about male violence is about politics and systems and not about personal interactions. 

Brock Turner served half his sentence. Bill Cosby’s conviction was overturned only three years after the court case. Harvey Weinstein’s case is going to retrial right now. All of these people are household names - deeply vilified by most of the country. But it doesn’t matter. They are still free from consequences. 

People are not the problem here. Systems are. Systems which privilege the rich and powerful, which give the benefit of the doubt to the perpetrator, and which discourage restorative justice. Post #metoo, we’ve genuinely made enormous strides on interpersonal relationships. It simply is not the case that the average person will refuse to believe you if you tell them you are the victim of a crime, even sexual assault. But in the court of law, a jury is legally required not to believe you unless the evidence is overwhelmingly otherwise. 

I hate the thought exercise ‘man or bear’ because it highlights that there is a real problem but does nothing to attempt to solve it. And at this point in the conversation I am done underlining believe women in bright bold sharpie. I know where people stand by now, they’ve had plenty of time to figure this out. But I don’t need Mitch McConnell to get it in his bones why I’d cuddle with a black bear than spend five minutes in a room alone with him in order to get some fucking laws passed around here. And I think that while we focus on the fear of personal violence broadly, we lose some ability to control what laws exactly we’re talking about. Are ankle bracelets a safe and effective means of reintegration? How do we divest funds from overpolicing and into community care? Has increased security in secluded parks (where the question ‘man or bear’ is relevant) actually increased safety, or has it merely increased state violence toward vulnerable populations such as racial minorities, unhoused people, and persons with mental health issues? 

Yes we need to fix patriarchal violence in our country. And we have been. We’ve literally been watching this happen for years. And it’s for that reason for me that I think the man or bear thought experiment feels like a second wave argument in a fourth wave era. Feminism cannot continue to be about protecting women from men without taking into account the ways in which intersections of privilege affect those relationships, including the ways in which white women have power in this society and ‘man or bear’ completely flattens a lot of the conversation and work we’ve already been doing. 

I believe in our ability to have nuanced conversations about violence, and ‘I’d choose the bear’ isn’t it. 

[seeyouonsaturn]

294 selfship questions

RED ❤️

part 4/5

🍚 - What are the “staple” foods you and your F/O make?

Make is an overstatement, but I'm German, so. Bread. I just buy it at the store though. Going out and need to pack lunch for the trip? Bread. Snack at home? Bread. And don't any of you come near me with that cheap ass raw toast /lh

Otherwise I'm also a pasta enjoyer. Just throw some sauce over there and go.

As for Prowl. Energon. Poor guy fr he can't even have bread. I'm so sorry baby.

🍫 - Do you or your F/O have a sweet tooth? What are your favorite treats?

Do I need to mention Prowl not eating earth foods every time LMAO

Me though, absolutely. I eat entire jars of nutella in one sitting. With a spoon. I was way worse as a kid/teen with it, but that doesn't mean I stopped. I'm a snackerrrr. Big fan of milka or kinder chocolate, and also those soft baked lemon cookies my grocery store has.

🍎 - You and your F/O go apple picking. How does it go? Do you get up to any mischief? Are there any particular treats you get (i.e. apple cider, caramel apples, apple pie)?

I'm definitely winning here because Prowl can just lift me up instead of me having to climb up and down ladders all day! My feet will not be touching the ground, I live in the trees now. I WILL take a break and just snack on an apple or two up there. If we find a tree sturdy enough to hold his weight too, you're not seeing us again until the end of the day, at which point we will return with a bounty of apples.

I don't care much for cider or caramel, but oh hell yeah sign me up for some fresh pie! I love apple pie. Man now I kinda crave it.

🍓 - What do you find cutest about your F/O? What do they find cutest about you?

Prowl just finds me cute in general, because humans are cute when you're a giant robot. I'm just a little animal to him. He especially loves it when I'm sleeping and make little noises or start twitching a little - which I get, because when my cat does it, I also think it's the most adorable thing.

I just love his little smiles so much. And his laugh, man I love his laugh, it's such a rare thing and it's so precious to me.

And also the way he sometimes messes up with earth terms or culture things because he's just not from here. It's adorable. Mallowmarshes ilysm. Literally ever since I was 13 EVERY TIME I see marshmallows my mind immediately goes "mallowmarshes". That's just what those are called to me.

🍒 - Can you or your F/O tie a knot with a cherry stem in your mouth?

I very much can not (i cannot knot). As for Prowl, I highly doubt he'd have THAT much dexterity considering how utterly TINY a cherry stem would be for him. But he could probably just Processor Over Matter that thing into a knot. I feel like that's kind of MORE impressive honestly.

🍅 - Have you or your F/O done anything to deserve getting tomatoes thrown at you? Will you throw tomatoes at each other regardless?

I mean I do selfship with a cartoon motorcycle alien I feel like that'd do it lmfao

And then there's my puns. I do deserve to get tomato'd for my puns. Not even sorry.

Prowl... probably, yeah. But I will not allow it. I will shield him with my tiny human body. Come at me.

🌹 - What’s the most romantic thing your F/O has done for you? What’s the most romantic thing you’ve done for your F/O?

Another rather difficult one, because I don't really have a story for us. I don't selfship in the sense that I am writing a story; it's more real to me than that. I don't want it to be that sort of make-believe. So there's no lore. Plus, I've never been the type to care for those cliché romantic performances some couples do, it feels way too-much and fake to me. Performative. And also kind of uncomfortable because how do I even react to that.

So I suppose, the best answer would be just that he was here for me. He was always here for me, even when I wasn't even thinking about him, he never left me. He just waited for me to come back to him for 13 years, all while remaining with me no matter what, and I can't think of anything that's more romantic than that.

I don't really know what he'd consider to be the most romantic thing from me. Getting the ring, perhaps. It's a rather cheap one, because I'm poor, but it's in his colors and advertised as a wedding band, so that's good enough for now. What do I care about expensive stuff anyway; it's symbolic. I'd be happy with a plastic ring from a gacha machine so long as it connected me to him. And maybe one day, if I can afford it, I'll get a proper one with his name engraved too. It may seem silly from an outside perspective, but he's been with me for 13 years, and it feels right to me. I want him with me always. And I want a physical reminder that we belong to each other. And a promise that I always will be his, no matter what.

🥀 - Has your F/O ever broken your heart? Have you ever broken theirs?

Well I mean he did kind of kill himself so 😔✌️

I would never intentionally hurt him, but given that my lifespan is barely a fraction of his, we were pretty much expecting the opposite to happen at some point. But nooo, he had to go yeet himself into the Allspark and get me widowed at the ripe old age of 13. I mean, I understand why he had to do it, and I would have done the same. But the grief remains nevertheless.

🍁 - Have you changed from when you met your F/O? Have they?

Oh, very much. Who's still the same person they were when they were 13? I'm very different. Writing it all down would be an essay in itself, because it's been way over a decade, and that's a lot of time for someone to change. But I did become the person I am today because of Prowl. He is in everything I do, and I like to think he'd be proud of how I turned out. You can peep that essay here, because I did in fact write it.

Prowl is still on his journey of self-discovery he started over a million years ago. He's still learning to be a team player, to be less selfish, and to find a sense of inner peace. He's getting better at it every day though. He's a wonderful person. He may not be perfect, but he's trying, and that's all that counts. I'm very proud of him too.

🚗 - Do you have a car? Who’s the better driver?

Prowl is the vehicle. Motorcycle not car, but still. It's very convenient (unless it's cold out, because I'm freezing my ass off).

It works out really well because I can't drive. I spent over a year taking driving classes, it's not happening. I am incapable of taming a car. I do have a loyal little scooter I've been driving since I was 15 (it's even got an autobot decal) but anything bigger ain't happening. I do know traffic laws, which Prowl is still learning, so basically he does the actual driving and I make sure we're not breaking any rules.

Being able to drive a motorcycle would be so awesome though. I'd save up to get a Prowl replica. But then I would also not be normal about my vehicle lmao

[wolf-among-mechs]

🛸🍜 for the ask game.

- Star Captain/Colonel Hazen, @is-the-battlemech-cool-or-not

Greetings Star Colonel. Somehow I was expecting you to ask me about my thoughts on a mech. You are free to do so as well of course. Nevertheless your choice of questions are still quite fun.

🛸 Is there a "canon rumor" theory (e.g. hyperspace weirdness, aliens, Phantom 'Mech Ability, time travel, alternate universes, the Lost Cameron) that you believe in? Or perhaps have experienced?

I have to admit that most of these rumors, these wild flights of fancy have an explaination. That is not to diminish anyone else's beliefs. But rather... I have already spoken about how in Kuritan space I was believed to be an Oni, an ogre of ancient terran myth on the planet Yance at first and then beyond. To the point where shinto priests put up paper wards to keep me away from settlements.

For a long time in the inner sphere the remains of General Kerensky's exodus fleet was still out there in space. That turned out to be very real. Many thought they were aliens at first. It came as a bit of a surprise that I was a descendant of them. In truth actually, to me when I was told of the clans when I had proved myself to the Dragoons in full, it felt like a strange myth. I was not sure what to think for a very long time. After a few years I was honestly ready to dismiss it as some sort of... Story to explain the founding of our company.

But as for what I currently believe... I feel a lot of uncertainty with hyperspace travel. What is to say that the next jump does not take you somewhere where a different choice was made at some point? Do you exit in the same reality that you left? There are so many decisions made every day big and small that the amount of deviation to the reality you left it is so highly unlikely you will ever notice. That thought troubles me.

I am also pretty sure there are aliens out there. Ones that could talk with us. Communicate. Like in holovids. They have got to be out there and figured out their own hyperdrives right? Something to transport them between stars. I get that space is big, mind boggingly big as one author once put it. But is it that big? Looking around the stars of the Inner Sphere the miracle of life is not a single isolated incident on Terra. It brings to mind an old... I do not know if proverb is the correct term. But I have seen it in litterature.

"Two possibilities exist: Either we are alone in the universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying."

🍜= what is your favorite food?

Now for something a bit mundane. Food.

There are few things quite as satisfying as pizza or a kebab after when you return to the hangar in a condition to eat. Battles do take a lot out of you so something like that is good to get you on your feet. And water. So much water. Even with a cooling suit my mechs are always very hot.

Remember to rehydrate fellow mechwarriors.

But if we're talking favourite... Probably Rasalhagian sushi? It is probably slightly perplexingly specific. If there is a complaint I do have about sushi it is that is not very filling. And Rasalhagian food is maybe a bit bland sometimes. They smoothen over the others weakness quite well. If you have not had it. It consists mostly of the same things you would find for sushi plates but also variants for smoked herring and lobster. Which do have a different flavour profile entirely than salmon. It also a few different side dishes. Potato, gravy and meatballs are of course one of them. It is Rasalhague after all.

[figandthewasp]

@tiarnietalks PLUTO IN AQUARIUS!

We ride at dawn Alien Witches!

248 years in the making!

Aqaurius- fixed Air- ruled by Saturn & Uranus.

“All geniuses are misunderstood; that's built into the definition of the word. To succeed, one must develop thick skin regarding our basic need for approval. To hold the truth with which everyone agrees is easy; to hold one against the tide of popular assumptions is vastly more arduous. How does the psyche adapt? There are healthy answers, or all geniuses would be mad as well as misunderstood, & they are not.” Steven Forrest

Pluto has been in & out of Aquarius since March 2023, showing us glimpses of what the future may hold, but today, November 20th 2024, he has made his full ingress into Aquarius where he will stay until January 2044!

1777 was the last time Pluto was in Aquarius!

This fixed Air archetype can be highly rigid, questioning everything, often needing proof; there is an intellectual superiority complex & a very black & white mindset. Just look at the division that happened in the world when Saturn was in Aquarius in 2021-2023! Family breakdowns & separations because of opposing views, cancel culture, etc. Aquarius isn't all butterflies, hippie communes, & rainbows my friends, that's Pisces energy but there will be a deep compelling urge for equality, freedom of speech, brotherhood & a love of humanity rising within this transit!

Aquarius energy is the loner, the eccentric, the rebel, the genius, the individualist; often seen as crazy & highly misunderstood. Einstein & Elon are both seen as crazy, definitely ahead of their time, have their North Node in Aquarius & are the true pioneers, wayshowers, & inventors. Like them or not, this is Aquarius.

Science, new technology, new medicines, new ways of living life, sci-fi, space, aliens, the esoteric & time travel all belong to Aquarius.

There is an objectivity & detachment to the Aquarius archetype, which is great for giving perspective, & we are going to need a lot of that over the coming 2 decades!

Watch group think & be discerning!

Pluto in Aquarius sees a BRAND NEW WORLD!

Collectively, the world will never look the same again.

We are going to witness things we have NEVER seen before, I mean it's already happening! AI, robots delivering food, drones, cloning, the metaverse, far right. Within days of Pluto's 1st ingress back in 2023 we saw the creator of the AI software quit! Umm, yeah, can't make this shit up! Things are accelerating! What's real & what's not! Its worlds within worlds. It feels like a HUMANITY REBIRTH to be honest! A full breakdown of society precedes the breakthrough of a new one. It's big. Remember, Pluto destroys, he exposes the TRUTH, you can't hide from Pluto, & Aquarius is the seeker, so this new phase of destruction & excavation is going to be HUGE! People will be more accepting of who anyone IS or wants to be, thank the lord; it's gonna get weird though, so be prepared for that! I believe people will embrace who they really are more too, especially if they have been doing the work on themselves & have a stable understanding of their psyche, traumas, patterns ect, if not they may feel isolated & allow fear, confusion & control to take over. Pluto will be in the first decan of Aquarius until 2031!! The Lord of Defeat, the 5 of Swords, which represents conflict, destruction, competition & disagreements. OUCHY! Aquarius is ruled by the Star though representing faith, hope & renewal! Pluto in Aquarius makes a supportive trine to the South Node in Libra until January 29th 2025, really assisting us in clearing all that karmic debris, it might even feel like a huge hangover or an exciting new space opening up! As Pluto trines the South Node of fate, he makes a sextile to the North Node in Aries, offering an opportunity to grow into more of who you are, to cast OFF the old & truly shift gears, entering brand new terrain! I love this aspect for us! On the micro, look to your Aquarius house, this is where you will be injected with creative originality, where you are being asked to reform, transform & revolutionize that part of your life. What rules of your own must you break?

Pluto in Aquarius is just getting started & will be a HUGE topic of conversation over the next 20 years as we witness many new ways of living, innovations, realizations, inventions, humans or fake humans, quantum shifts, time travel, new galaxies, all of it, it's all NEW (knew) as we truly advance & evolve.  We have never been in this space before, there is mystery & magic. Expect the unexpected, hello, Pluto in a Uranus ruled sign. Shit is gonna get weird! Reform. Reveal. Radical anarchy! It's the revolution to evolution!

[uraharashouten]

What're your thoughts on Urahara being autistic?

Interesting question, Anon. I suppose whenever a character has quirks, this question must arise. So, fair enough; let's consider evidence, and how well he fits some typical traits of autistic-coded characters. I looked these up, so please forgive any oversights or discrepancies they might come with.

1. Social Difficulties. The character might have difficulty interpreting body language, facial expressions, or tone of voice, leading to awkward or misunderstood interactions. They might find small talk uncomfortable or unnecessary and may prefer more direct or in-depth conversations.

Kisuke actually seems generally good at reading people and speaking to their unvoiced thoughts.

He's generally good with small talk and jovial banter, as well.

2. Literal Thinking. Autistic-coded characters may take things literally and struggle to understand figures of speech, sarcasm, or jokes that rely on double meanings.

This one's a bit tougher to pin down, because while I certainly can provide examples of him using sarcasm and figures of speech, I'm not sure I can point to many that he must interpret from others. He can be pedantic, though, for the sake of mischief.

3. Focused Interests. These characters often have highly focused interests that they pursue with intensity. They may talk at length about their interests, sometimes to the point of alienating others who don't share the same level of enthusiasm.

If you were looking for a character that fit this characteristic, I would probably point you to Mayuri, who relentlessly and repeatedly pursues his special interest of creating life. Although we do know that Kisuke spent years trying to find a way to prevent Hollowfication, we don't really see him engrossed in that research except in a brief flashback. We also have developed fanon that he loses sense of time while focused on research projects, mostly from that anime-only TBTP episode in which Soi Fon stalks him. But otherwise, the only time we see him emerge unkempt and disheveled is when Rukia visits the shop so early she wakes him from sleep. So while I do enjoy leaning into the headcanon that he can become absorbed in his projects, we really never see him in that process. They're always presented as a fait accompli.

4. Routine and Structure: They may rely heavily on routines, schedules, or predictability in their day-to-day life. Changes to these routines can cause them distress or anxiety.

This characteristic might fit. He does wear the same outfit daily, even after Kubo released the NBFH chapter and every other character got a glow-up... except him. He's the same. At least get a haircut, my guy.

5. Sensory Sensitivity. Autistic-coded characters may be overwhelmed by loud noises, bright lights, certain textures, or strong smells. Alternatively, they may be under-responsive to sensory stimuli.

We don't really see him react negatively to sensory input, though we do know from Klub Outside Q&A that he has a bland palate and prefers rice. This might point to sensory issues with food.

His monotonous wardrobe might also be a comfort issue—he's basically in his pajamas 24/7!

6. Blunt Communication. These characters often say exactly what they mean without worrying too much about social norms or diplomacy. They may be perceived as rude, even though they don't intend to offend.

Oh my. I think if anything he has the opposite problem—indirect and evasive to a fault! His speech, too, is meticulously polite. He consistently uses soft, practically feminine-coded polite Japanese grammar, very diplomatic.

7. Difficulty with Eye Contact. The character might find eye contact uncomfortable or even painful, preferring to look away or focus on other things during conversations.

We don't see this during TBTP, but we do with the hat. It is a form of armor, in a way, to keep folks at a distance. This, however, has likely more to do with trying not to draw attention to himself for most of canon. He would prefer to avoid the spotlight; there is more room to maneuver in the dark. But he has no trouble making eye contact when he wants to be intimidating.

8. Emotional Expression. Their emotional expressions may not match what others expect. For example, they might seem to have a neutral or "flat" tone of voice or facial expressions, even when they are feeling strong emotions.

This... is the opposite of a flat affect.

9. Logical and Analytical Thinking. Autistic-coded characters may be exceptionally good at logic, analysis, or pattern recognition, sometimes to the detriment of understanding emotions or social dynamics.

Well, all right, you've got me there. I don't think I even need to spend time on this question. Next?

10. Difficulty with Change. They might find it hard to shift from one task to another or adapt to changes in plans or environments.

In terms of changes in plans and environments, I can't think of anyone more adept to the ground shifting beneath his feet, can you?

So! How did we do?

Points 3, 4, 5, and definitely 9 might have him on the spectrum... but that's less than five out of ten, and aren't we all on the spectrum? That's why it's a spectrum!

If he's a little bit of a jerk when it comes to being considerate and sensitive with peoples' feelings, well, I'm going to say that's just his personality.

[xenobean]

Get to know your mutuals!

Huh. I’ve never been tagged in a tag game before. Thanks for including me @bluemoyai

What's the origin of your blog title? I have lots of Xenomorphs on my blog (because I like them) and I love especially the first Alien movie. The bean part is because it sounds funny and my old (as in OLD) blog display name was “Coolio Beans” so I decided to Xeno-fy it a while back.

OTP(s) + Shipname: Hmm… I like some ships but the phrase “One True Pairing” implies that I am more invested in a specific ship than I really am.

Favorite color: I like most colours but I really love brown. 

Favorite game: Portal 1 & 2, Dialtown, (haven’t played yet sadly but I adore the characters and am quite sure I’d like actually playing it) BOTW, Silent Hill 2 and more

Song stuck in your head: Can’t Wait by The Living Tombstone. Though, it’s moreso just hanging around occasionally. I don’t get songs stuck in my head.

Weirdest habit/trait? Lots of other things but they either aren’t that weird or I just don’t wish to share them.

Hobbies: I enjoy writing, very occasionally drawing, reading, watching weird-ass movies, (If you want some ACTUALLY bizarre movie recs then hit me up) honestly just enjoying media in general, hiking in nature, and… I guess researching stuff to the degree I do makes it a bit of a hobby? I am WAY too good at googling, and I am persistent. 

If you work, what's your profession? I’m a student.

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be? I want to become a librarian or similar. Maybe get some money from my own written projects.

Something you're good at: I’d say I’m pretty good at writing, given how little I’ve practiced, but there’s room for improvement. I am very good at remembering information. I am a walking dictionary and trivia machine.

Something you're bad at: Accepting I don’t need to hold myself to such a high standard.

Something you love: I love stories. I especially love stories about the strange and bizarre. I adore tales of misunderstood monsters. The boundless imagination and creativity of humanity. 

Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: I assume you mean a specific topic. I know a little bit about a lot of things. I could definitely talk for a good long while about the Alien Franchise.

Something you hate: Ironically, hate… And human ignorance on a collective level. History is currently repeating itself and this is very much in part to ignorant policies, mindsets and a general tendency to disregard history. I think most of my dislike can be summarised as that.

Something you collect: DVD’s, mushrooms, plushies and weird bits and bobs.

Something you forget: Hmm… Strangely I’ve forgotten my answer, haha!

What's your love language? I don’t have one specific love language.

Favorite movie/show: Favorite movies: Deadpool & Wolverine, The Shape of Water, The Blues Brothers and many more

My favorite shows: The Newsreader, Doctor Who

Favorite food: I eat most things.

Favorite animal: I like most animals.

What were you like as a child? Definitely odd. I was very nerdy and loved learning and was definitely ahead of my peers, but I wasn’t aware of it at the time. Figured everyone was like that. 

Favorite subject at school? Language and history related subjects.

Least favorite subject: Math, don’t hate it but it doesn’t come to me naturally.

What's your best character trait? I’d say I’m quite open minded and reflective.

What's your worst character trait? Not valuing my own achievements as highly as the ones of other people. 

If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be? Honestly I am quite satisfied with my life. 

If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet? I genuinely can’t answer. This question is too hard. There are so many interesting historical figures.

Tag as as many mutuals as you want:  @anonymous428315516723114213 @tentabulge-torturechamber @screamerlove @gayvampcentral @mothmanphobia