#follow for more terrible budgeting advice

[mihai-florescu]

Earlier today I made a purchase that wasn’t necessary

[hispanthicc]

I'm glad to hear you're feeling better now after your break up. I love guys like you whose weight gain has a direct landing in their bellies. Everything else on them is normal size, back, face, legs, feet, arms, hands. But when they turn around, there's this great big belly. Your watermelon belly looks astounding!

Well, I wouldn’t say that I feel better even though it was a few years ago. it was a 5 yr relationship and I was 100% planning to be with him for the rest of my life. Then he just threw me away lol. I’ll never get that time back and I still struggle with a lot of the harsh things he’s said to me and also a lot of his actions afterwards. In fact I got triggered a few days ago cuz I was going through my blocked list on a certain site and I saw him. His pfp pic was changed to a pic that showed his face. 1. I always had to beg him to send me a selfie. 2. He’s always been kinda ashamed of what he’s into and definitely was embarrassed to be seen with me or take pictures with me, especially in the end. So it kinda hurt my feelings I guess, but I’m just sensitive. I also feel terrible for even having any feelings about him at all but it takes a while to fully get over things. But he’s blocked on everything and I wish him the best. Every once in a while the photo cloud will show me a pic of him and I get triggered all over again. But at this point I’ve deleted everything.

I’ve mostly moved on and even my mom said that the best way to get over it and forget is to find someone else and that definitely was good advice. Unfortunately, though that hasn’t completely worked the way I would’ve liked and the past week has been a lot emotionally. I’ve been feeling lonely and horny, I’ve also just felt very left out. Some of it’s my fault cuz anxiety and sometimes just funds lol. I also suck at getting close to people. Abandonment issues or whatever. I also don’t just dive into anything it takes me a long time to just be like I’m okay and ready but I can’t and don’t expect anyone to wait for me to be ready and of course the consequence of that is they move on lol. Which is fine and dandy or whatever but I’m just experiencing a lot of emotions lately that I’ve never felt before and I don’t know how to handle any of it.

Anyways gaining and focusing on my body has definitely helped a little cuz I do feel a little more confident sometimes. I lost a lot after the break up and that definitely made me hate myself but I also thought maybe he’d come back if I did but he said I didn’t match his aesthetic (LOL) but he didn’t come back in fact after he dumped me he went to London lol. Literally within weeks. Didn’t even tell me which I guess he didn’t have to in retrospect but he kinda led me on for months making me think we’d get back together. Idk I was ignoring a lot because I wanted to be with him so bad.

Anyways fast forward I went to a film festival in Canada which got me inspired by life again. Enrolled in grad school the following year. Finished the first year and here we are.

I think I noticed I started to gain again during my first semester back in school. Like one day I just woke up and I was bigger. I noticed it in my face write away. It’s kinda hard gaining on a student budget lol but I did the best I could.

I’m not like super big or anything but I’m more filled out all over. Most importantly though, I feel very cute and pretty.

Sorry for this long ass post I know you probably didn’t want to hear the personal stuff. But it’s the internet. The land of over sharing.

[bitchy-peachy]

Advice Somewhat and Some Shit to Sensitive Haters Stalking My Posts

My area is getting ready for those wonderful Trump import tariffs.

A cheap deodorant in a local pharmacy that costed $3.45... Now costs $8.45. Saw it just this morning.

Yes, that's how local businesses are preparing for your totally-going-to-lower-prices Cheese Puff Papi's economic plan.

Pretty sure certain people will blame democrats for it but hey, republicans love to break it so democrats can fix it. I don't even know how this shitass party still gets votes but then I see its either rich people that get big tax cuts and brainwashed people that were unfortunately taken advantage of through disguised lies that vote for this crap.

Also including racists and phobes because that's another tier in this dumbfuckery cake of ignorance.

I want my mutuals to be ready for what's coming next year. I've lived long enough to know shit will get bad for everyone that makes under a certain level of money in their finance bracket.

I want you to buy stuff that's necessary before these businesses keep hiking up prices and I want you to be try to only use money for necessities. Even I have cut my budget in wait to see what happens next.

I'm somewhat ok financially (for now. Now I will have to recalculate everything with the potential and percentages of Trump's Tariffs looming over all of us) and unlike the 6 times bankrupted god, I know how to actually use and administer our finances without destroying my whole family and leaving us in the poor house.

I will probably have to write a guide at this point cos I even know survival skills after natural disasters as well as the banking system... A bunch of simple acquired knowledge that I never thought would be so necessary with what's coming up ahead.

This morning was a wakeup call and reminder that we need to take things seriously to prepare ourselves and our families. We'll need to save, stock up, be a little more frugal

I'm frugal af as it is until I have "fun funds" accumulated to finally relax. People think we only got to "survive" rather than actually "live". Don't ever let someone tell you you can't have nice things and good food and a good quality life just cos you are poor. Rich people act like our existence is to do cheap work for them while only eating stale bread and drinking contaminated water. They see everyone that isn't wealthy as part of their serfdom to do their bidding.

You deserve better.

Anyways, I'm rambling but right now... These times up ahead are a challenge even for me who has survived homelessness and natural disasters that lead to darkness for 6 months. I now feel like I'm in school again doing mathematical exercises and sorting to be ready for another terrible event looming up ahead (we never can catch a break, huh?)

I joke around a lot on here about maga getting what they voted for but the reality is that they're not the only ones getting effed up for them being so painfully stupid and completely lacking in basic critical skills when voting.

I want my mutuals that are in vulnerable situations to do everything to be safe. This is the best advice I can give for now because I sincerely want those that can be potentially affected to be mentally and emotionally ready. I'm here for my friends and even though I'm ranty I am still strangely at ease that we will as a community be fine.

On to another subject.

It's obvious to everyone that follows me that I despise maga. Especially with my relative ones that think I'm morally obligated to help them mitigate the consequences of their own actions. They can't even admit when they fuck up and can't handle confrontation with facts so I don't see a point in saving them. Considering how they voted, they really don't give a shit about me or my own family.

The help that was going for them will go for other people that are flying in next week that definitely need more help than my relatives. My relatives can ask Trump for help in their housing, medical bills etc since they spat on my help by endangering my entire family that falls almost into every category Trump wants to fuck up and make "illegal".

If I do this with actual blood relatives... Imagine what I do to strangers trying shit with me as if I owe them friendship, activism or my time.

I've been ranted at and blocked 5 times over the past week by maga that just can't handle shit I had to tell them. They also mostly approached me so they're the ones going around like the biggest Loser Winners on everyone that isn't pro Trump.

Most recent fun times was a loser calling me mentally ill (weird, cos I'm pretty sure the one that studied criminological psychology is me and not some unappealing mediocre male that reblogs naked women that will never fuck him) and after he raged he blocked me.

I'm online for fun and friends so I do act unhinged and unprofessional af. Why am I gonna bore myself online with a professional veneer (and before some useless maga tries get me "fired". I retired ages ago, sweetums. LOL) when I'm supposed to just relax on here?

I like explicit horror and cats, rats and bats. I write weird shit. I don't have to act like I'm at work all the time with proper diction and I'm not the only "shitlib" that is like this online. One of my best friends who plays horror games with me is surgeon and we both cuss like truckers and have slumber parties.

Meh.

Despite all this, I am appreciative of me, a retired old goth witchy lady, being fake diagnosed by someone with impressive 5th grade level knowledge. I gave easy to find facts and it somehow hurts people into calling me "retarded". I'm done being nice to your ilk and will be giving out just as much shit back as you have done to me.

There's nothing worse in an election than an uninformed voter in an echo chamber. You guys got fed your "facts" from echo chamber social medias and outlets. It's not my fault my factual words hurt you. It's your own for not waking up out of that propaganda induced coma. A lot of you don't even know what communism and social democracy actually are before calling everyone you don't like those things.

After these elections, I now know there's no helping you. You're too far gone and our side is truly packing up and leaving you behind. Blocking, avoiding... We are done as we should have been ages ago.

If you go low, I will go lower. Tired of only one side playing nice and getting trampled on and then you hypocritically clutching at your pearls at the slightest pushback.

We will be meaner and you deserve it. You had it coming. And I'm saying it nicely on here but I've called some yall literally fucking country destroying dumbfucks that actually hate everyone, including America. (that "patriot" some of you have on bio along with Christian crosses will never fail to make me laugh. You guys hate America so much you might as well wipe your ass with the flag. Well you already do put it to your genitals with the undies and swimsuit lines with flag print. Yikes)

But what do I know? I'm just a shitty lib (not really. A lot of libs hate me cos I'm pro guns and support answering violence with even more violence meh)

I don't hate to say "I told you so". In fact I love saying it now.

Now that both of these things are outta the way, I will relax and watch some horror movies in my list. Might live post some of them.

PS: To my haters... I have a statcounter on my blog. Stop being stupid.

[leam1983]

Designing Better Fantasy Schools - A Compromise

Let's say you don't care about the associated politics and the baggage that comes with the Wizarding World. Let's say you're willing to more or less commit social suicide by saying you don't much care about J. K. Rowling's politics and just want to focus on all things Harry Potter. How can you still improve on the basic framework without leaving it behind?

I've already mentioned Marvel's X-Men as a more cogent example and Ursula K. LeGuin's Tales of Earthsea need no introduction either, but let's play Devil's Advocate and figure you want to write Potterverse fanfic that strips away all that Meritocratic, Neoliberal, Boy's School for Billionaires feeling the franchise has. What's your best bet?

I'd suggest looking elsewhere around the world - and specifically, while ignoring the other named schools in the canon. The way they're presented, we can assume that every other institution from Beauxbâtons (a terrible name thought up by someone who doesn't speak French) and Uagadou (Wow, Joanne, did you just look at an Atlas map of Africa and pick the capital of Burkina Faso at random, and just strip one syllable?) all follow the same basic setup as Hogwarts - or at least the same basic setup as other paid-for, private schools.

My advice? Go public. A well-thought-out Wizarding World should have included the notion that not every kid will have the chance to make it to an independently-financed institution, and that several will, in fact, be forced to attend wizarding classes in the same Brutalist hallways as their Muggle peers.

It does strip the setting of its Neoliberal undertones, as wizards and witches can't simply Hammerspace their entire society into Non-Euclidian streets and byways the Muggles can't access. It requires closer coordination with Muggle governing bodies and strips magic of its status of a golden goose that has to inexplicably be kept out of Muggle hands.

As that's another thing: for how Edwardian JKR's wizards and school headmasters are, they're still resolutely Medieval in their anticipation of Muggle rejection and persecution. Assuming magic, in this universe, is in some way tied to natural forces, then you'd figure Muggle scientists would've accidentally discovered the ability to Apparate without a wand or a spell, and would've just labeled it as teleportation. You'd figure that someone born without magic would have seen some spell-casting take place at some point and would've said "Hey, this is neat! Paired with some of our own tech, this could solve so many problems!"

Enmeshing both worlds closer also fixes several worldbuilding problems. Let's say Rowling's gonzo bit of lore about wizards and witches dropping deuces on the spot and then whisking them away with a spell is canon, don't you think most of them would actually welcome the addition of modern plumbing? Legacy includes toilets in the student lavatories, but the professors have no definable living spaces!

Setting your story in the public sector fixes that issue. Teachers only work in their professional spaces, and go home after classroom hours, just like the students would.

Then again, this raises another question: why cling to the Potterverse at all? Politics aside, the setting reflects something that even the most skilled fanfic authors don't bother reckoning with, which is that it really is meant for a tiny sliver of its total readership. The Canadian kid with parents working a nine-to-five won't ever receive a letter, not when there's hazy, improperly-defined "other local schools" that serve as Budget Hogwarts. The American kid who grew up on everything Potter isn't a potential target either, the American concept of a boarding school tends to evoke places like West Point Academy, as opposed to refurbed mansions packed with kids.

Do a little research, and you'll realize that British boarding schools are, more often than not, looked back onto with regret. Youtuber Lindybeige has a very lukewarm summary of his boarding school years, with the general sense being that it had a stultifying feeling. Compare and contrast with early-2000s fanfic that present Mall Goth Hogwarts students as surviving in this context, and you're left rolling your eyes. All these 'sonas crapped out after an overdose on My Chemical Romance wouldn't have lasted a week at Eton College during the heyday of British boarding schools.

So - destroy the concept altogether and rebuild it from scratch. You're an underprivileged inner-city kid with a weird scar on your forehead, and a class trip to the zoo takes a turn for the worse. In the days that follow, the principal asks to meet with you more often than usual, and offers that you'll start to work with "specialized educators".

There's an unusual trip to the hardware store for some cookware and some Chemistry sets you associate to late High School classes, and an introduction to new classmates. To the School Board, you're moved to a different class of student - the Arcane Enabled. Common-subject classes are still with your old classmates, only now you've got new classes that enmesh spellcasting with core disciplines you're still in need of learning. Defense Against the Dark Arts with a side of Ethics, Potion-making with a side of Chemistry...

In this new version of the setting, identitarian politics are a non-issue. Trans students are shown that there are ways for them to use magic to alter their gender, some merely Veil-based for Enbies in the lot, and others more permanent. Goblins are entirely emancipated and "House Elf" is now a paid position that's rapidly growing out of fashion - and Wizards, crucially, have evolved in tandem with the Muggle world. Your educators all drive cars and own smartphones and tablets, they all can work their way around a computer - but they're also able to do slightly more with these things than a Muggle can. You realize that being a wizard doesn't shut you out from the wider world, and finally figure out what was so special about particular channels, TV shows, movies or other media productions your parents love; as the Muggles aren't shy about mythologizing their magic-slinging peers.

At that point, you again have to ask yourself the all-important question: why cling to Potter at all? The concept of a second secret and shadowy world comes complete with so many risks of added toxicity and of enshrining elements that might seem quaint or antiquated but that actually hide their lot of relational or sociopolitical conflicts; that you're left wondering why Modern Fantasy clings to it at all.

Wouldn't things be simpler, fairer, even, if the Ordinary People always knew?

[xydexxunicorn]

Words of Advice for Young Furries

[reposted from my Twitter thread, December 23, 2020.]

I was recently asked if (as someone who's been around Furry fandom for decades) I had any advice to give to young furries (as Furry fandom keeps growing and our age demographics keep trending younger).

This dovetailed with another comment about how younger furries (or folks new to the fandom) sometimes make missteps—not out of malicious intent, but simply not knowing any better. Everyone was a newbie once, after all. So after some pondering, I have a more verbose response:

If you're new to Furry fandom and worried about what people will think, in my experience how people react to furries always says more about them than it does about furries.

Popularity is overrated. Do what you enjoy instead of worrying about likes and retweets and follower count. Find your own niche.

Clout is simply another name for Imaginary Internet Points. That and two bucks will get you a coffee at Dunkin Donuts.

Furry fandom is what you make it, and the fandom you build depends on who and what you support. Surround yourself with good furries, and be one yourself.

Don't tolerate racism, transphobia, sexism, &c. in your social circle. Speak out against it, because ignoring it doesn't make it go away.

Nobody likes awful people. Don't be one. If you support awful people, then you will end up attracting more awful people. This is a hard downward spiral to break out of once it starts, and it's not pretty. Don't let it start.

Every few [years/months/weeks], someone will propose an alternative to Furry fandom with a new name for whatever reason. It's a terrible idea that folks keep slapping a fresh coat of paint on. Avoid it. We've seen it before, and it always end up an embarrassing disaster.

Fursuits can be expensive. Artwork can be expensive. Tip people who create things for you.

Conventions can also be expensive. Budget accordingly. Tip housekeeping and restaurant staff.

If you don't know anyone at a convention, volunteering is a good way to meet new people.

A costume is not consent. Don't harass or molest fursuiters. No, seriously; it's not cool or funny.

Furry fandom continues to be an amazing and creative community that has repeatedly shown itself to be a force for Good. No matter where your path within the fandom leads, use your powers for Good.

In conclusion:

Be good, stay safe, have fun. 🦄💕🏳‍🌈

[kessielrg]

[Zelda] Please, Protect the Arts: Part 1

Notes: I have an outline for this story, but I don’t know how I’ll pace out when I write the chapters proper. I won’t be uploading this to AO3 until it’s finished either way (I think), so please enjoy it now. There is not a particular version of Link and Zelda in mind, I just want to play with the characters a bit. Link is partially mute.

Rating: K

Word Count: 1,593 words

Next | AO3

- - -

There were two things that Zelda disliked: people who used their strength to hurt others, and when her father listened to lobbyists with money instead of the people any new law actually effected. That being said, Zelda kept a close eye on the politics her father was involved with. He would sometimes joke that she was the only campaign manager he’d ever listen to. 

And, like most politicians, he was lying. 

Zelda’s father only listened when she was truly annoyed by a certain law, and he only truly followed her advice when he got enough citizen approval to follow through. By then it was too late to change the other politician’s minds as well, leaving the bill to usually go in favor of the wrong party. It was frustrating. It made Zelda wish she never went into politics herself.

She would though.

She was too furious with the world not to.

The notes from the last state-wide conference sat on her father’s office desk. Zelda hadn’t meant to spy on them. She had actually come into his office to get a spare pencil. Her father kept a lot of spare pencils in his desk drawer- enough so that it was the only thing allowed in that particular drawer. The Manila folder with the conference notes didn’t seem important at first, and Zelda had almost dismissed it. It wasn’t until her eyes caught the word ‘education’ that Zelda took a double take.

Curiosity soon became her enemy.

“You can’t let this arts grant -or lack thereof- go through!” Zelda demanded as she stormed to her father.

The poor old man, who sometimes wished he had his daughter earlier to better keep up with her energy, turned his gaze away from the chessboard to Zelda instead. He gave her a tired smile to counter her unbridled anger.

“I’m afraid that decision is not entirely my own,” he reminded her. “If anything, it’s out of my hands. That decision mostly rests with the board of ed.”

Zelda slammed her hand down on the chessboard as she looked her father dead in the eye. “You know that’s a lie.” she seethed. “Especially when you know as well as I do that the wording points toward one particular school.”

Her father gave a heavy sigh, and left that at his only answer. Zelda followed his gaze to where she had accidentally knocked over a knight. Peering over it was the queen, just two moves away from creating a checkmate.

. . .

When Zelda was mad, she went to the library. It had been a way her mother taught her to manage her anger. A place where silence had to be maintained. A place where you could transfer that anger to a protagonist that kept making terrible decisions in the first act of a fantasy trilogy. A place where things could be alright in the end, as long as you had the patience to see it through.

If only real life could work like that.

Zelda and her father had come to an ultimatum; if she was able to convince the board of education that the art program should resume its regular funding (or receive more), then he promised he’d make sure the budget cut wouldn’t go through. Zelda had accepted the challenge without thought. It wasn’t until she got to the library that she realized she had essentially signed the budget cut bill herself. The young woman let out a whining sigh to herself as she thumbed the spines of the books she passed. She didn’t know how important the arts were to properly support them. She herself had only taken music lessons for the school credit and not from genuine interest. Even then, she had no idea on how it applied to her life after- other than a feeling of fleeting satisfaction as her fingers fluttered over a well cared for harp.

Thinking of music and budget doom almost made her tune out the sounds of a wind instrument being played. When it did register, it took Zelda a few moments more to realize she wasn’t simply thinking the tune. No, no, no. Someone was actually playing music in the library. Partially furious at the breech of silence she had been told was mandatory, Zelda went after the sound.

Her search brought her to the very back of the library. Residing there were study rooms. Sitting in one of them was a boy not much older than she was, and he was gently playing a tune on a small, handmade, wooden ocarina as he looked over the thin book he was reading. The sight immediately made Zelda recoil. How on earth did he sneak a music instrument in, however small it was, and how had no one told him to stop yet?

“He’s pretty good, isn’t he?” a voice asked from behind her, making Zelda jump. Her fingers accidentally knocked against the study room door as she whipped her whole body around. It was just a librarian. Zelda offered up a rather guilty smile in return.

“It’s a bit disheartening to see him practice here.” she admitted. “Is there no room for him at the music center?”

“Well, I don’t know about that,” the librarian mused, “But he’s welcome here regardless.”

Zelda nodded in understanding. But something egged at the back of her mind. She realized what it was soon enough.

“You don’t know his name?”

For this, the librarian gave a rather sheepish shake of their head.

“It’s never come up.” they admitted.

“Never?”

“Never.”

Zelda now gave the librarian a funny look. How was it possible to never know a patron’s name? At the very least it would have been on the library card…

The librarian caught on to her expression pretty quickly.

“He doesn’t talk.” the librarian went on to amend. “At least,  not very often. He just comes in every Friday, sits right there in that room (it’s got better sound protection from what I’ve heard- gets booked for meetings often because of it), and just plays away from whatever sheet music he’s brought in.”

“Really?” Zelda questioned. She turned to look back at the boy- her blood ran cold in seeing that he was staring right back at her. Apparently, the sound proofing wasn’t that good either way.

The two kept eye contact for what seemed like forever. The boy’s dark blue eyes held a sort of hidden wisdom; as if he saw a lot of things but were never part of them. Zelda wondered what stories he could tell. She wondered what kind of gossip he knew.

“It looks like he’s taking a break now.” the librarian then noted from over Zelda’s shoulder. “You might be able to go in and talk to him if you want.”

“I think I might.” Zelda nodded, not once turning her gaze away from the boy.

Her body moved on its own. One moment Zelda was aware that she was outside the study, and the next she was sitting down opposite of the boy. In his hands was the ocarina still. And surely enough in between them on the table was sheet music. In trying to figure out which piece it was, Zelda noticed a familiar logo. It was the same as the school that the budget cut bill would affect. A part of Zelda’s chest tightened.

“You go to the Hylian School of Arts?”

The boy looked at her, blinked, then casually looked down at his sheet music. He looked back up at her again with a nod.

“You must come from a pretty affluent household.” Zelda mused. She was prodding, she knew it, but she had to see what this boy knew. “HSOA is very thorough with its application process.”

To her surprise, the boy shook his head.

“A scholarship then?”

For this, he nodded, and part of Zelda already understood why.

“If you don’t mind,” Zelda went on, “Can I have your name? There is a rather broad budget cut planned for your school, and I promised my father (a local representative of the state) that I would create an argument against the board of education to keep that funding. If I knew your name, we could work together to build a case. What do you think?”

The boy thought about it longer than Zelda was anticipating. Eventually, she started to ruffle through this sheet music for a blank page. Unceremoniously ripping off a generous piece from the corner, the boy withdrew a pencil that had been inside a backpack hidden under the table and wrote something down. Zelda wasn’t able to see it until he handed it to her.

‘Wednesday, 1:00pm. Room 115.’

“This isn’t your name.” came Zelda’s first, very confused, remark.

The boy smiled at it- it carried notes of mischievousness and a special kind of cockiness. He got up from his spot, gently placing the ocarina down in doing so, and gestured for Zelda to follow him. Zelda raised an eyebrow, but did so anyway. Together he led them out of the study room and back through the library. The boy’s path seemed certain as they reached the kids�� section, but faltered as he searched the rows for something in particular.

A small noise resembling an ‘ah-ha!’ escaped his lips before he pulled a book out. He gave it to Zelda with a careful look of contemplation. He studied her reaction as she looked over the title: Rumpelstiltskin.

“Oh, so you think you’re funny, do you?” Zelda soon snarked at him. 

His only response was a wide, boyish grin.

[b1ueoff1ine]

Prompt List

Here is a list of prompts that I have for you all to use in your requests.

Long Prompts

Prompt 1:

One evening, a young man knocks on your family's front door, seeking shelter from the brutal magic-fed thunderstorm. He is soaking wet and shivering from the cold, so you offer him blankets, a cup of tea, and a spot by the burning fire. He thanks you for your hospitality and tells you that he is on his way to the {character name}'s manor, the home of one of the wealthiest families in your county. You speak of your distaste for the {character name} family and their varied businesses, making the wealthy wealthier and the poor poorer. The young man says nothing and, once the storm has subsided, leaves your home. The following day, you go to the town center to gather food and materials but are stopped when a large carriage comes clattering down the road. The townspeople part to make way for it, and whispers pick up as people gossip about the carriage's inhabitants. Suddenly, the carriage door opens right in front of you, and you stumble back and fall to the dirt ground to avoid being hit. Grumbling, you see a hand extend in front of your face, offering assistance. When you look up, you spot the familiar features of the young man you welcomed into your home last night as hushed voices rise to declare, "{character name}."

Prompt 2:

You're a teacher who loves her job and her students. However, when your contract isn't renewed due to budget cuts in your district, you find yourself at a loss. Luckily, a friend of yours knows of someone looking to hire a tutor with just your qualifications. You go to the interview and realize the job is to tutor and mentor the son of a renowned tech billionaire. The son has had behavioral problems in school and was threatened with expulsion, so the single father decided to hire a trained professional to assist in his son's issues. The more time you spend with the small family, the more you realize that the son's behavioral problems stem from his poor relationship with his father. The billionaire is smart, innovative, clever, handsome, and stubborn. He initially disagrees with your analysis, but then eventually gives way to your advice. The longer you spend in the role of caregiver to both father and son, the more you start to feel like this is where you belong.

Prompt 3

After a car accident nearly took your life, you wake up from a coma. In the six months since the accident, everything has changed. Your best friend, who was behind the wheel when you crashed, is dead. All of your other friends have graduated and gone off to college without you. Meanwhile, your mom is busy working three jobs to pay your medical bills. You sit in your room in the rehab facility feeling a deep loneliness and depression that you never could have expected. One day you meet a new patient on the ward: a handsome man who shattered his leg and thinks his life is over, too. The two of you work through the healing process together, growing closer each day.

Prompt 4

When you were young, you were friends with a neighborhood boy who liked the same things as you. Both of you were dirt poor, but it didn't seem to matter; as long as you had each other, there was always a make-believe adventure right around the corner. He grew up to be a billionaire, and, now that he's wealthy beyond imagination, seems to have forgotten where he came from. You haven't talked to him in years, but a death in the family brings him back to the old neighborhood, where you reconnect and reintroduce him to the life he left behind.

Prompt 5

Life is hard, especially for a single mother, but you've made the best of it and took a new job as the secretary for a billionaire. A terrible tragedy rocks his world and you're there as a shoulder to cry on as he heals. During the healing process, however, he finds you are more important to him than he originally thought.

Prompt 6

You are trapped in the elevator of your office building with a handsome executive when the power goes out in the city for a few hours. You get to know each other a little during that time, and the attraction is strong. He's evasive about what he does for the company, and it's not until power is restored and you're back at your desk that you realize he's the billionaire CEO… and he's emailing to ask you on a date.

Prompt 7

You are a young girl on a student scholarship at a very high-profile British university. One day at the uni pub you meet a handsome young man with whom you feel in love at first sight. Next day, you open the newspaper only to discover you have been out with the {Crown Prince(loki) or CEO of the largest company in the state(norman or otto)}.

Prompt 8

As a senior detective in the special victims crimes unit, you are hunting down a serial killer who targets young college women. The clues lead you to a reclusive billionaire with a "devil-may-care" attitude. But something is off. It's just too neat when all fingers point to him. However, you can't help but question your motives as you find yourself drawn to him in ways you've never felt before. Can you put aside your own desires to find out if he's really a serial killer or will your passion get in the way of doing your job?

Prompt 9

You are a single mother who works as a waitress at a nightclub to make ends meet. The one thing you can't stand are people who get everything handed to them, like the rich, snooty patrons you have to wait on night after night. However, when a handsome and charming clubgoer becomes smitten with you, you find yourself drawn to his enigmatic way. After a few coffee dates, you wonder if this could be the one, but then you learn that he's actually the club's billionaire party boy owner—a man you've heard about and hated from afar for years. He swears he's changed and that he has fallen for you, but you're not convinced: Can you trust him to leave his partying lifestyle behind to become a family man?

Medium Prompts

Prompt 1

You're a woman fleeing an abusive marriage and you meet your husband's billionaire boss. You fall in love and your husband learns the hard way that abusers don't win.

Prompt 2

You are lost in the middle of the jungle with your clumsy and absent-minded co-worker. Under these adverse circumstances, you get closer than you ever thought you would.

Prompt 3

You make a great team—one is the driver, another takes the money, and you are the lookout. The three of you have been successful bank robbers for six jobs now. As the police begin closing in, you find yourselves in conflict—one never wants to stop, the other wants out of the game, and they are both in love with you.

Prompt 4

You've had foreign language students before, but none as handsome as the son of a billionaire inheriting all of his father's wealth. When he asks you to be a translator for a trip he's about to take, you're all in.

Prompt 5

Your dream is to sail around the world and he has the yacht to do it. The only problem is: You're the new maid hired to keep the yacht spotless while docked.

Prompt 6

{Month} {Day}, it’s snowing but the first buds of spring have already peeked out, and you lay bleeding on the ground.

Prompt 7

 “We aren’t blood related but you’re the most important family member of mine, you know that right?”

Prompt 8

“I know we didn’t talk much but either way I just want you to know, you were a big part of my life and I’m thankful for every second we got to spend together.”

Prompt 9

A billionaire loses much of his wealth in a legal battle with your family. To your mutual surprise, what begins as hatred turns into romance as you find a way to give him back the fortune he lost.

Prompt 10

"You can't go in there," you tell him, before he informs you that he owns the museum and can go anywhere he pleases. Since you're a museum guide, he asks for a tour, and you both recognize a spark happening.

Prompt 11

You hate his materialistic ways but a billionaire's charm wins you over when, following an airplane crash, you are stranded for weeks on his family's private island.

Prompt 12

You're boarding at a school overseas, and most students are going home for the holidays. You can't afford the trip, so you've decided to stay despite the fact that you miss your family. A charming classmate whose father is a teacher at the school invites you to join him and his family for Christmas. During the break, you relearn what Christmas, and love, are all about from a new perspective.

Prompt 13

On each of the 12 days of Christmas, you receive extremely thoughtful gifts from a secret admirer. You and your best friend search to find this mystery person, but you soon realize that it was your best friend the entire time.

Prompt 14

Your part of the Avengers, and when it's up to you to find the villain at an event, you find they aren't what they seem.

Prompt 15

He's a reclusive billionaire and you are a model hired to be his guest for the evening at a local charity function. He initially has nothing to say to you, but begins to admire you for who you really are inside. Romantic sparks ensue.

Short Prompts

Prompt 1

"Focus on me."

Prompt 2

"Because I love you!"

Prompt 3

"I can't lose you..."

Prompt 4

“Can you just please listen to me! Just this once. Please.”

Prompt 5

"It was inevitable, but I regretted it every step of the way."

Prompt 6

You’ve been bumping into the same stranger for months. Finally, you decide to say hello.

Prompt 7

Well, that was a New Year’s Eve kiss you won’t forget any time soon.

Prompt 8

After you move to a new city, you fall in love with your realtor while buying a new house.

Prompt 9

A college professor and their teaching assistant hit it off a little too well.

Prompt 10

Your husband accidentally sends you a text meant for his mistress.

Prompt 11

"Touch her and you're dead."

Prompt 12

"She's like glass. Break her and you're the one who's bleeding."

Prompt 13

"What happened?"

"I broke/snapped. Just like I knew I would."

Prompt 14

"You don't deserve to have the weight of the world on your shoulders,"

More prompts coming!

[winelimos]

Using Wine Tours to Experience Napa Valley Exploration

Napa Valley, located in Northern California, is one of the world's best wine regions. The breathtaking vineyards, hilly landscape, and rich history of winemaking in Napa Valley have made it a destination that casual tourists and experts of wine must see. Beyond only offering excellent wine tastings, Napa wine tours enable guests to immerse themselves in the region's rich history, dynamic culture, and beautiful natural setting. This post will take you through the fundamentals of wine tours in the region and provide advice on making the most of your trip and insights into what makes Napa Valley so special.

A Review of Napa Valley Wine Cultural Property

In recognition of the region's excellent soil and temperate temperature, European immigrants began cultivating grapes in the 19th century, which is when Napa Valley's winemaking history began. The first commercial winery was established in the 1960s, and the industry quickly grew from there. But there were also challenges around the turn of the century, like the terrible effects of the laws of prohibition, which practically destroyed the country's wine industry.

Around the turn of the century, when quality overtook quantity as the top priority for forward-thinking winemakers, Napa Valley's reputation began to soar once more. The famous Paris test the same year, in which Napa grapes defeated French wines in a blind tasting, cemented the region's reputation across the globe. Today, Napa Valley is home to over four hundred wineries that attract wine lovers from all over the world with their diverse range of wines.

How to Plan a Wine Tour

An ideal Napa Valley wine tour should consider your interests, budget, and time limits. With so many vineyards to choose from, it can be challenging to know where to start. You may plan the perfect wine trip with the assistance of the following advice:

Doing Research and Scheduling Meetings: Start by visiting the vineyards that most appeal to you. Napa Valley is known for its Cabernet Sauvignon, but it also makes excellent Chardonnay, Merlot, Pinot Noir, and other wines. If you want to visit wineries, make plans well in advance, especially during the busiest seasons of the year. Since many vineyards require appointments, booking early ensuring you won't miss out on your preferred choices.

Think About Taking a Personalized Tour: Should you be a first-time visitor to Napa or simply want to unwind and observe everything, you could want to consider booking a guided wine tour. Many firms provide transport-inclusive tours, allowing you to unwind and enjoy the wine and scenery without worrying about driving. Guided tours occasionally provide access to unique tastes and behind-the-scenes encounters that you might not otherwise be able to enjoy.

Approach With Care: It's best to avoid visiting too many vineyards in one day because wine tasting is a very sensitive experience. To ensure you have enough time to savor each sample and take in the surroundings, it's best to limit your visits to no more than three or four wineries. Remember to drink plenty of water in between samples to keep your palate clean.

Explore Outside the Wine Areas: Don't miss the other sights in the valley, even if wine tastings are the main attraction of any Napa visit. By participating in one of the various cellar and vineyard tours that wineries provide, you can learn more about the winemaking process. You can also go wine picking in the autumn, attend educational seminars and enjoy delicious food pairings.

Best Wineries to visit and Activities

In Napa Valley, there are many varieties of vineyards, and each one has something unique to offer. Here are a few highly rated vineyards and tours:

The Mondavi’s Winery: One of the most well-known wineries in Napa Valley, Robert Mondavi, offers a range of tours and tastings. The vineyard's architecture is stunning, and it offers instructional tours that illuminate the art and background of winemaking.

The Amorosa Palace: This beautiful winery with a historical vibe not only makes some of the best wines in the region, but it's also rather beautiful. The tour takes you through the armory, the wine cellars, and the dungeons of the castle.

Vineyards Carneros:Winery Carneros is the place to come if you like sparkling wines. The castle of the winery, typical of the French countryside, overlooks the valley and provides a stunning backdrop for the sparkling wine tastings.

The leap Stag's Mines for Wine: Renowned for its Cabernet Sauvignon wines, Stag's Leap made history that same year when it took home the Paris Tasting trophy. The winery offers small-batch tastings and tours of the vineyards which produce these highly regarded wines.

The Experience of Wine Service: Consider the Napa Valley Wine Train for a unique perspective on the wine country. On this vintage clothing adventure in the valley, savour delectable dinners and wine samples. It's a leisurely approach to discover the region and taste some of its finest wines.

Making the Most of Your Travels

There are many sites and things to do in Napa Valley besides wineries. It's worth visiting the charming communities of Calistoga, St. Helena, and Yountville; each has a unique vibe and excellent places to dine, shop, and have fun. After a day of gathering, unwind in the amenities of the valley or go on an early hot air balloon ride to get a close-up look at the vineyards. Regardless of your interest or level of wine knowledge, a Napa Valley wine tour is sure to be unforgettable. From the world-class wines to the magnificent environment and rich history, Napa Valley reflects the essence of California's wine country. Raise a glass to the amazing landscapes, diverse range of cultures, and excellent wines that make Napa Valley a singular tourist destination.

[bethany-thinking]

Read Along: For Women Only: The Loneliest Burden

If somehow you see this, I'm not a serious blogger. Just someone sitting here reading my old marriage books to see how they sound after almost 20 years of happy marriage mostly due to not following the advice in these books. I'm starting with For Women Only because it has a cute modern cover and claims to be scientific. Now I'm in Chapter 4: The Loneliest Burden: How His Need to Provide Weighs Your Man Down, and Why He Likes It That Way.

This chapter is a bit concerning on the onset with it's theme that men feel a need to be the sole provider that must be met by their wife, because since this book was originally published in 2004 the cost of living has gone up astronomically.

I just checked on Zillow for 3 bedroom, 2 bath homes in my city (a very average mid-size city in the south), the lowest price appearing is $176,000 and looks like it would cost much more to actually live in, the first ones that the photo looks okay are in the 250ks and there really isn't much of anything until you get to the 300ks. Let's go with 300K as an average though I'm wondering if that's even easy to find in the current market.

According to a mortgage calculator with a 20% downpayment ($60,000) that's over $2,000/month in a mortgage payment. Most budget advice says that your mortgage needs to be under 28% of your overall income so that would mean that you would need to make at least $7,142.86/month. That's a salary of $85,000 a year. Honestly, with the increasing cost of food, gas, and everything else it's questionable on whether that percentage is actually feasible. The average salary in my state is around half of that. That means a lot of families are going to need two incomes. Also, with rising rent prices, they likely will need even more income to be able to save for that downpayment and the necessary additional savings to ensure that they can handle repairs and other emergencies with that mortgage payment.

Honestly, this is a terrible burden to put on men. They should not feel solely responsible to provide for their families. We should be reassuring men that this is not their sole responsibility and that it's okay if they are not able to make enough income to support a family alone. Men should be reassured that income level does not directly correlate to hard work, intelligence, or reliability. If someone is married to a person that has the gifting or opportunities to make more than them it should be celebrated not seen as an issue whether it's the man or woman.

Also, this type of thinking is going to make it really hard for men to work in service related fields especially being pastors because we know those jobs don't typically pay well. Even if the church cares, the budget is often being created by an older generation that's out of touch with current market costs of living, the salary typically doesn't include any health insurance or retirement benefits, and the church may be really stretching to even offer even a modest salary.

Okay, with basic math out of the way, I'll start with chapter 4, in a new post! P.S. I don't personally like Dave Ramsey but since he's the king of evangelical financial advice, I plugged $85,000 into his calculator which is based on a 25% model with a 15-year-mortgage, and he says that only covers a $200K house. I had to put in 10K a month (120K a year) in the calculator just to get up to the $300K budget!

[thisisnotyellowldn]

How (and why) I started working for Ye (formerly known as Kanye West)

The year was 2018 and to my dismay I was waking up at 5am. That might not sound all that terrible to some - 5am is the hour of the entrepreneur afterall. It's widely known that a number of successful people wake up at ungodly hours of the morning in order to "seize the day". Nonetheless, I was waking up at ungodly hours for a much less exciting reason - coffee making. Yes, like Tyler, the Creator, I was once a Starbucks employee serving coffee as a barista to the tirelessly busy London commuters every morning and afternoon. And I had what my friends called "the graveyard shift". The "graveyard shift" took place at 6am and finished at 2am. I hated every minute of it.

I decided to make a change. After 4 months of serving coffee on the front line of London, I would hand in my resignation. It was in my contract that I was to give at least 2 weeks notice. So I did. I wasn't entirely sure what I was going to do, but I knew what I wanted to do. And that was to work for Kanye West (as he was known at the time) instead.

My friends advised me not to quit, explaining it was a terrible idea because I didn't have any money saved. Even though this was probably good advice to the average sensible human-being, I wanted to be anything but average. Not only that, I knew exactly how I was going to make a ton of money while I set out on my quest to be Kanye West's creative director.

I had graduated a year prior to working at Starbucks with a Bachelors Arts degree in graphic design. And I figured, that must count for something. So I decided to design some download cards with the help of Bandcamp. I set a goal in my head that I'd sell 16 of them in day at £10, giving me a daily budget of £160 - and I'd use these funds to finish an album I was writing at the time (the album is called 'Primary Colours'). Most of my friends were extremely sceptical, urging me not to try it. They said things like "if you were capable of doing something like this, you wouldn't be here". Call it stubbornness, call it a "burning desire", I was not in the state of mind to listen to any criticism, be it reasonably constructive or downright negative. I told my friends, "you'll just have to watch me do it".

The week I finally left my job, I won a flask due to selling the most promotional packs of Starbucks Coffee, so my ex-boss and colleagues knew I was destined for greatness.  I didn't sell 16 albums at £10. At least not on the first try. On my first day of sales, I was riddled with anxiety and even though I aimed to be out on the streets of Camden selling my first studio album "Summer With The Wolves" - I didn't make it out of my bed until 6pm. Nevertheless, I still managed to sell 4 albums at £5 each. And that's when I knew it was all possible. Even more so considering the fact that I hadn't even managed to print out the Bandcamp download cards - I was straight up selling codes from an excel spreadsheet. 

That year in 2018, from July to October, I would sell 1,500 download codes to the people of Camden. And then it happened. I was on my way home, completely exhausted, my lungs running on emergency oxygen from all of the talking I was doing to make sales. When I finally got back to my studio in Tottenham Hale, I realised the strangest thing had happened - Kanye West was following me on Twitter. I thought back to all of the potential actions I could have taken to have turned my dream into a reality (I was only 22 at the time). Then I remembered....In the two weeks prior to handing in my resignation I had tweeted Kanye West 3 times a day for two weeks. But then I also remembered that one time I pretended to be the late Virgil Abloh's social media manager in order to get a backstage pass at one of his gigs. Could it have been one of those things? Both of those things? Whatever it was that convinced Kanye West to follow me on social media, I was being followed by my childhood idol, and nothing in that moment (or for that entire year) could have made me happier.

I was already on my way to Los Angeles to sell my record in the states (I had bought a plane ticket one week prior to Ye following me). I wanted to see if I could replicate the same success I had in Camden over in America. My journey started in North Hollywood and ended abruptly somewhere in Downtown LA. And for some reason I was addicted to Starbucks Iced Mochas. When I realised I couldn't sell albums fast enough to cover both travel and accommodation I made my way back to London.

Fast forward to the summer of 2022, my commercial debut "Primary Colours" now well over 1 million streams, I found myself this time on my own stall in Camden Market selling an innovation of the download cards I was first selling before I jetted off to LA. This time, what I was selling was completely my own invention - I called them "digital vinyls". I got the call in September 2022 that I would be appointed Ye's creative director - and the rest, quite literally, was history.

Words by Benjamin K. Daniels (Founder @ Poridge)

[hillbillyoracle]

Stop Telling People to Get a Therapist

If you frequent online forums or social media spaces where people ask for advice, let’s talk about why “get a therapist” is an actively harmful response. 

Therapy is fucking expensive - even if you have insurance.

I don’t really get why people are so loathe to grapple with this fact. My partner has good insurance for our area and pays $240 a month in copays to see a therapist. Her psychiatrist is refusing to make changes to her medications until she signs up for a type of group therapy which will bring the monthly mental health costs up to ~$500 a month. Again - this is with insurance. This is a strain on our particular budget as two people with multiple disabilities and a dog with epilepsy. 

Therapy without insurance is wild. My partner saw a therapist who was out of network for a while and it was easily ~$1000 a month out of pocket. We could only afford it at the time because we stripped everything back and still dug into savings. 

And if you’re hearing those numbers and thinking “well that doesn’t sound so bad - wtf are you spending the rest of your money on?” one - you’re wildly out of touch with what most people make right now and two - you’re furthering the idea that people struggling financially have to prove themselves to other people before they’re worthy of being believed or taken seriously. That’s not progressive at all. 

When you tell someone who cannot afford therapy to get a therapist, it intensifies the shame of the person struggling. It is not an anti-capitalist response - it furthers the idea that well they just wouldn’t be in this boat if they made more money. It’s the toxic intersection of classism and ableism. 

They may already have a therapist. People shouldn’t be forced to disclose.

The assumption that anyone suffering and looking to the collective for help doesn’t have a therapist fuels this idea that therapists are basically magic pills. They are not. 

When you tell someone who’s already seeing a therapist that they should get a therapist - it’s defeating as fuck to hear. It furthers the feeling that they’re doing something wrong if going to therapy isn’t working - again intensifying shame. It also lets that person know, you’re not a person who understands the very real limitations of therapy and therefore aren’t really a safe person to confide in. When a person gets repeated responses like this from a community, I’ve seen it drive them away. It further isolates someone who is already struggling. 

Keep in mind also that therapy is covered under HIPAA, meaning healthcare organizations understand that even disclosing that someone is receiving it as treatment is private patient data. As individuals, we’re not beholden to HIPAA but I think it��s worth following that lead and respecting that whether someone is in treatment is private. Let a person decide whether to self disclose rather than making assumptions, pushing, or withholding assistance on that basis.

Not all therapists are good at their jobs. Many make conditions worse.

This is something long time users of mental health services are intimately aware of. Insurance drives which treatments are available and generally speaking they went all in on CBT in the 00′s and 10′s. Current research is beginning to show that it actually makes symptoms worse in people who’ve repeatedly experienced trauma and isn’t terribly effective in cases of personality disorders - which are much more common than previously thought. 

So when you say “go get a therapist” - you’re basically telling someone to go into an industry that currently doesn’t widely offer proven treatments for what they might be dealing with - or if they do it’s likely out of pocket and therefore only available to people of a higher socioeconomic status. 

In addition to that - therapists are human and like any profession, not everyone who decides to become a therapist is good at it. Many are downright harmful. The “go get a therapist” line also tends to make it out that all therapists are “good guys” when they’re really not. The institution itself has a long history of not respecting patients and you better believe that’s still present in education therapists get today. When I was enrolled in a social work degree, I was pretty appalled at how mentally ill folks were talked about and that attitude no doubt transfers to students. 

Therapy has historically been unsafe for marginalized groups and still is often inadequate for their needs.

Which brings me to the fact that therapy has a long history of being actively harmful toward women, folks of color, disabled folks, people of non-Christian religions or areligious, poor folks, and neurodivergent folks. The institution of therapy is still grappling with that history. The harm that it’s caused is passed down generationally so many are impacted by both it’s effect on their families and the short comings of the field today. 

Saying, “just go get a therapist” to folks who are from groups like this actively ignores the harm the field has caused to them. If you’re not going to tell someone to go back to a partner who crossed their boundaries, mischaracterized their experiences, and pushed “solutions” to their issues that caused more harm than good - why would you tell a potential patient to? 

Also consider folks who need childcare to go see a therapist and how that complicates accessing it. Consider folks who are having so much difficulty functioning going to a therapist is their entire day - all for treatment that might not even help. Consider folks who live very far away from cities who have to travel for multiple hours. Consider rural folks who are still fighting to get internet access. Consider those people can’t just move. 

Consider that you might not know what factors makes accessing a therapist difficult or even damaging. 

It furthers credentialism -- a facet of classism. 

The only people who can become therapists are people who complete at least two degrees, undergo time afterward becoming certified, and then maintain certification through continuing education and fees - all of this costs a truly wild amount of money. Which naturally means therapists themselves tend to, on average, be from families with higher socioeconomic status.

Accepting that as merely the natural course for a treatment provider ignores that it’s unclear whether that level of education and credentials is needed at all levels of mental health services. Doctors vary in their training. Even among nurses, there are Nurse Practioners who sometimes have doctorates all the way to Certified Nursing Assistants who have about 6 credit hours of training with a skills test and lower requirements to continue certification. Nurses were considered optional and largely unpaid at the beginning of their modern history but quickly became indispensable parts of the medical system.

It’s interesting that mental health hasn’t created a similar system but not unsurprising given it’s roots in the West with wealthy men for whom it was largely a matter of curiosity - the first experiments were in sensory experimentation not treatment. That therapy as an institution continues to make that the bar for even becoming someone allowed to give mental health treatment is not a matter of quality assurance but rather a sign that therapy is still considered optional health care. Many therapists recommend calling hotlines when they’re not on the clock yet most hotlines are staffed by unpaid volunteers with minimal training. And anyone who has called one can tell you how unbelievably hit or miss they are. 

Mental health services rest on this very shaky foundation in part because they refuse to reexamine the degree they want people to be credentialed and it can stay shaky in part because it’s not considered a necessary service the same way other fields of health care are. Saying “just go get a therapist” is basically saying “only someone with multiple credentials is fit to answer this question” without stopping to consider whether that’s truly the case.

Not all upsetting personal experiences require a therapist and continuing to recommend it in all areas of emotional exchange institutionalizes labor that we should be doing for each other to build solidarity outside of the current system.

This one is pretty straight forward. Constantly referring people to commercial solutions for labor we historically provided communally undermines our ability to build systems and solidarity outside of those economic forces. Not everyone needs a therapist for what they’re going through. Community care needs to make a comeback.

So what do to do instead? 

Don’t reply. Examine whether you need to reply to the person at all. If you cannot give them advice on the subject matter they’re looking for without mentioning therapy then it might be worth skipping altogether. Often when people jump to say “what about therapy” it’s more a sign of their discomfort with the topic and their need to feel useful. Other people’s distress is not the place to be working out your hang ups and trying to feel good about yourself. Reflect instead. 

Speak from the “I”. Share your personal experiences about what did and didn’t help. Share that you care about them. Share your personal perspective. 

Resources. Consider pointing toward widely available or cheap resources you found helpful for this particular topic. Tag someone who might have those resources if you don’t. If you want to include more expensive options, be sure to include the price up front. 

Ask if they feel comfortable sharing more about what they’re already doing. Even if they don’t share that they’re in therapy, skip the conversation with strangers and broach it carefully with people you have a relationship with. If they share more, it might help you see how much they’re already doing and you’re less likely to recommend things they’ve already tried. 

Offer to listen. Say you don’t have answers or recommendation but you’re down to listen if they want to vent. If you go this route, having a little bit of familiarity with active listening can really help. 

[crayonurchin]

Do you know of any good guides, or have any tips or the like for using non-UV cure nail polish suitable for a person who has never once used it and would like the results to not be terrible?

Sorry this took a while to respond to!

Check out SimplyNailogical on youtube. She doesn't post as much anymore since she launched her nail varnish brand- but in her older videos she gives GREAT tutorials on very basic nail varnish work- from simple painting to more advanced designs and everything in between. Her videos are also SUPER funny!

From me, my advice is as follows:

Get a good top coat and a good base coat. It'll stop your polish from chipping as fast and make it much shinier.

You do not need posh brands to do nice nails. Cheap nail varnish can be just fine- as long as you paint it neatly and do layers.

Give yourself time! Get a drink with a straw and pop on a tv show or podcast. You want your polish to dry very well- which can take time.

Get a bottle of acetone and a clean up brush. If you paint on your skin or cuticle, it'll make clean up nice and easy.

Anyone trying to gatekeep this hobby by saying there's rules and brands you hAVE to follow is an idiot. It's just nail varnish. Find colours and styles you like that are in your budget and just have fun. There's loads of easy tricks to jazz it up- SimplyNailogical has great videos, and make it some 'you' time. That's all ;)

[nim-lock]

Art Career Tips, 2021 Edition

Here’s an edited version of my 2019 answered ask, because... this feels relevant. 

It is a problem of capitalism that folks equate their income as a judgement of their value as people; and let me preface. You are worth so much. You have inherent value in this world. Your income is not a judgement on who you are (plenty of billionaires are actively making the world worse). LARPing self-confidence will go a long way to helping you get paid more for your work, because clients will believe that you know what you are doing, and are a professional. 

& real quick—my own background is that I’ve been living off my art since 2018. I went to art school (Pratt Institute). I work in a publishing/educational materials sphere, and a quarter of my income is my shop. Not all of this information may apply to you, so it is up to you to look through everything with a critical eye, and spot pick what is relevant. 

So there are multiple ways of getting income as an artist; 

Working freelance or full-time on projects

Selling your stuff on a shop

Licensing (charging other companies to use your designs)

This post primarily covers the freelance part; if you’re interested in the other bits there is absolutely info out there on the internet. 

IF you are just starting (skip to next section if not applicable) dream big, draw often (practice helps you get better/more efficient), do your best to take "a bad piece” lightly. You’re gonna RNG this shit. At some point your rate of “good” works will get higher. Watch tutorial videos & read books. A base understanding of “the rules”; anatomy, perspective, composition, color helps you know what the rules are to break them. This adds sophistication to your work. One way you can learn this stuff is by doing “studies”—you’re picking apart things from life, or things other people have done, to see what works, and how it works. 

Trying to turn your interests into a viable career means that you are now a SMALL BUSINESS; it really helps to learn some basic marketing, graphic design, figure out how to write polite customer service emails; etc. You can learn some of this by looking it up, or taking skillshare (not sponsored) classes by qualified folks. Eventually some people may get agents to take care of this for them—however, I do recommend y’all get a basic understanding of what it takes to do it on your own, just so you can know if your agent is doing a good job. 

Making sure your portfolio fits the work you want to get

Here is a beginner portfolio post. 

Research the field you’d like to get into. The amount people work, the time commitment, the process of making the thing, the companies & people who work for them. 

Create work that could fit in to the industry you’re breaking into. For example, if you want to do book cover illustration, you draw a bunch of mockup book covers, that can either be stuff you make up, or redesigns of existing books. If you’re not 100% sure what sort of work is needed for the industry, loop back into the portfolios of artists in a similar line of work as whatever you’re interested in, and analyze the things they have in common. If something looks to be a common project (like a sequence of action images for storyboard artists), then it’s probably something useful for the job. 

CLIENTS HIRE BASED ON HOW WELL THEY THINK YOUR WORK FITS WHAT THEY WANT. If they’re hiring for picture books, they’re gonna want to see picture book art in your portfolio, otherwise they may not want to risk hiring you. Doesn’t have to be 100% the project, but stuff similar enough. If you aren’t hired, it doesn’t mean your work is bad, it just wasn’t the right fit for that specific client. 

If you have many interests, make a different section of your portfolio for each!

Making sure you’re relevant 

Have a social media that’s a little more public-facing, and follow people in the career field you’re interested in. Fellow artists, art directors, editors, social media managers; whoever. Post on your own schedule. 

Interact with their posts every so often, in a non-creepy way. 

If you’ve made any contacts, great! Email these artists, art directors, editors, former professors, etc occasional updates on your work to stay in touch AND make sure that they think about you every so often.

Show up to general art events every once in a while! If you keep showing up to ones in your area (when... not dying from a sneeze is a thing), folks will eventually start to remember you. 

Industry events & conferences can be pricey, so attend/save up for what makes sense for you. Industry meetups are important for networking in person! In addition to meeting people with hiring power, you also connect with your peers in the community. Always bring a portfolio & hand out business cards like candy. 

Active job hunting

Apply to job postings online.

If interested in working with specific people at specific companies, you could send an email “I’d love to work with you, here’s my portfolio/relevant experience”, even if they aren’t actively looking for new hires. Be concise, and include a link to your work AND attached images so the person reading the email can get a quick preview before clicking for more. 

Twitter job postings can be pretty underpaid! Get a copy of the Graphic Artists’ Guild Handbook Pricing & Ethical Guidelines to know your rate. I once had a twitter post job listing email me back saying that other illustrators were charging less, and I quote, “primarily because they’re less experienced and looking for their first commission”. This was not okay! For reference, this was a 64-illustration book. The industry rate of a children’s book (~36 pages) is $10k+, and this company’s budget was apparently $1k. For all of it. 

Congrats you got a job! Now what?

Ask for like, 10% more than they initially offer and see if they say yes. If they do, great! If not, and the price is still OK, great! Often company budgets are slightly higher than they first tell you, and if you get this extra secret money, all the better for you. 

Make sure you sign a contract and the terms aren’t terrible (re: GO GET THE  Graphic Artists’ Guild Handbook Pricing & Ethical Guidelines) 

Be pleasant and easy to work with (Think ‘do no harm but take no shit’)

Communicate with them as much as needed! If something’s going to be late, tell them as soon as you know so they aren’t left wondering or worse, reaching out to ask what’s up. 

And if all goes well, they’ll contact you about more jobs down the line, or refer you to other folks who may need an artist, etc. 

Quick note about online shops/licensing and why they’re so good

It’s work that you do once, that you continuously make money off of. Different products do well in different situations (conventions vs. online, and then further, based on how you market/the specific groups you are marketing to), so products that may not do well initially may get a surge later on. 

Start with things that have low minimum order quantity and are relatively cheap to produce, like prints and stickers. 

If you are not breaking even, go back to some of the earlier portions of this and think about how you could tweak things as a small business. Ease of access is also very important with this; for example, if you only take orders through direct messages, that immediately shuts off all customers who don’t like talking to strangers. 

Quick resource that you could look through; it’s the spreadsheet of project organizing that I made a while back 

Licensing is when people pay you for the right to use your work on stuff they need to make, like textbooks or greeting cards. This is generally work you’ve already made that they are paying the right to use for a specified time or limited run of products. This is great because you’ve already done the work. I am not the expert on this. Go find someone else’s info.

“I am not physically capable of working much”/ “I need to pay the bills”

Guess who got a hand injury Sept 2020 that messed me up that entire month! I had a couple jobs going at the time that I was terrified of losing, but they were quite understanding when I told them I needed to heal. So:  Express your needs as early as you know you need them. Also do lots of stretches and rest your hands whenever you feel anything off; this will save your health later. Like, the potential of a couple months of no income was preferable over losing use of my hands for the rest of my life.

This continues to apply if you have any other life situation. Ask for extra time. Ask for clarification. If you tell people ahead of time, folks are often quite understanding. Know how much you are capable of working and do your best not to overdo it. (I am.. bad at this)

Do what MAKES SENSE for your situation. If doing art currently earns you less money than organizing spreadsheets, then do that for now, and whenever you have the energy, break down some of the tips above into actionable tiny chunks, and slowly work at em. 

The original ask I got in 2019 mentioned ‘knowing you’re not good enough yet’. Most artists experience imposter syndrome & self-doubt—the important thing is to do your best, and if anything, attempt to channel the confidence of a mediocre white man. If he can apply to this job/charge hella money for Not Much, then so can you! 

Check out this Art Director tumblr for more advice!

Danichuatico’s Literary Agent guide

Kikidoodle’s Shop Shipping Tutorial

Best of luck!

–

Once again disclaimer this post is just the ramblings of a man procrastinating on other things that need to be done. I’ve Long Posted my own post so that it turns into mush in my brain if I try to read it, but I wrote this so I should know this content. If you got down here, congrats. Here’s a shrimp drawing.

Yee Ha. 

My reference post tag My tip jar

[bookofjudith]

hello! as you might have noticed I orphaned all of my works!

this was entirely an accident. I am still very much active on AO3 and tumblr, and did not mean to dissociate myself from ANY of my ATLA works, if you’re coming from those! All of my ATLA works have been reposted onto my AO3 account and can be found below, as well! This sucks, but there isn’t anything I can do about it, unfortunately! So, I just ask that if you’re reccing any of my works, to double check that you’re sending people to the version that says “aeoleus”, instead of “orphan_account”. Thank you so much, and I’m so sorry for the inconvenience!

A Hundred Golden Suns

Ch 14/14 - COMPLETE

Zuko does not survive that first fateful Agni Kai.

But no matter how much Ozai strives to pretend otherwise, the Old Gods are not dead.

And the Old Gods are angry.

a cardinal hits the window

COMPLETE

The beginning of the end, though Sokka doesn't recognize it at the time, comes in the form of a text message.

Yue 🌙 at 2:41 PM i need u to help me dye my hair

what is that song you sing for the dead?

COMPLETE

(“You know,” Sokka starts. “Your dad told me I should talk to you. I feel like such a fucking asshole. Your dad- he lost your mom, and then he lost you, and he’s still giving me advice on how to deal with it.”

The moon doesn’t respond.)

Or: the beginnings of recovery.

how to disappear completely

COMPLETE

(And Zuko wants to laugh, he does, because he’s twenty-one, and he's the guardian of a five-year-old sister he didn’t even know existed until his mother died in a car crash, and he's legally responsible for his nineteen-year-old sister who’s been admitted for almost a year of her short life, and rent is due, and his temp job doesn’t pay nearly enough, and he wishes he had someone to help, but he has no clue where Uncle is, and no other adult has ever cared enough to help, and he’s tired.

He’s just so, so, tired.)

here, at the end of all things

COMPLETE

There are two options here, Sokka thinks, hanging half off the airship with a broken leg, firebenders surrounding them, Toph slipping through his hands.

To allow Toph to feel what his mother felt in her last moments, or to let his grip slide, and allow her to fall.

In the end, it’s not even a choice.

turn your face towards the sun

COMPLETE

Not for the first time, Suki desperately wished she had Aang’s ability to talk to the past Avatars. What would Kyoshi think of her? Would she see the weariness that settled deep into her bones, the static that crested over her brain, and scoff? Think she was weak, childish?

Or would she understand the guilt that settled like a rock in her stomach and remained there; the way sleeping on a soft mattress, eating a homecooked meal, laughing, feeling safe, felt like betrayal?)

An Ember Island interlude, featuring the beach, a bottle of sake, and three teenagers with the world on their shoulders and terrible decision-making skills.

(some day, I pray,) I’ll be more than my father’s son

COMPLETE

Zuko is seventeen years old when he stares at himself in the mirror and sees his father staring back at him.

Roll of Thunder, Hear my Cry

COMPLETE

(“You’re not sleeping,” Mai says softly. “How’d you know?” Zuko asks.

To be honest, he’s kind of gotten to the point where he’s surprised that anyone can perceive him outside of his necessary functions- he exists solely to sit in council meetings and shoulder the blame for genocides and famines and the suffering of one-hundred years. Doesn’t he?)

The war is over, but the fallout is just beginning. And where lightning strikes, thunder is bound to follow.

what did you sing to that lonely child?

COMPLETE

“So, to put this together,” Toph says to Aang in a highly-measured tone that she didn’t know she even had the capacity for. “You were sparring, you had Zuko on the ground, and you held flames close to his, you know, scarred face?”

put the weight on me

COMPLETE

“I think he’s sick.” Bato says flatly. “So unless you want the next meeting to include the Fire Lord puking all over the budget scrolls, maybe see if he's okay?”

Hakoda glances up the hallway, like perhaps Katara will appear and take over dealing with the prickly teenager. Of course, his daughter is off treating injured refugees with the Avatar, and Bato is still staring at him expectantly, arms crossed.

“Fine,” He sighs, and he claps Bato on the cheek before heading into the room.

Or: Zuko falls ill not long after Ozai's defeat. Hakoda sits with him and learns some unpleasant truths about his childhood.

the sins of the father

COMPLETE

Iroh often wonders how a child raised as Zuko was- in pain and rage and cold indifference- could turn out the way he did- kind and gentle and just.

Iroh often discounts himself.

Or: how Zuko came to realize that a father’s love shouldn’t need to be earned.

brave little soldier boy

COMPLETE

“Let the children sleep,” Iroh says softly to Hakoda. “And let us carry the weight of the world for a while.”

Or: the night after Ozai’s defeat

[jaskiersvalley]

Feral jaskier and himbo geralt are always lovely!!! “So many questions and not enough brain cells” was absolutely MAGNIFICENT

Nonnie, I am so happy you liked that line. It gave me a chuckle to write it too. Feral Jaskier and himbo Geralt are such a delight, I now feel the need to write a little more for you. Movie stars, stunt doubles and idiots ahoy!

Incidentally, this also seems to fit my @sugar-and-spice-witcher-bingo square ‘sharing a brain cell’.

Prompt: Sharing a brain cell Relationships (romantic/platonic/etc): Geralt/Jaskier, Lambert/Eskel/Cahir/Aiden Rating: T Content Warnings: None Summary: Geralt is the star of a TV series with Jaskier as his on screen arch nemesis. Thankfully that rivalry doesn’t carry into real life.  

The set was like a second home by that point. Geralt spent a good nine months of the year there, the crew feeling like family. It was their fifth season of filming, Geralt couldn’t quite get tired of the monster of the week format though. He loved it, loved how cheesy it was and the fact that it was a production that didn’t bait or bury their characters. The natural chemistry he’d had with Jaskier made it so much easier too. They had kissed on screen enough times that he was intimately familiar with the shape of Jaskier’s lips and the taste of the lip balm he wore. That had started three seasons ago and Geralt had been quietly wishing they could kiss away from the cameras too. So he had been planning, even seeking out the advice of those he trusted - namely Eskel and Lambert.

That had been a surprise friendship that Geralt had discovered. Eskel was brought in as he stunt double for more tricky shots. Usually, Geralt liked to do his own stunts but falling off a horse at a gallop was a little beyond him. As was surviving Jaskier’s rather flamboyant fighting style. Just for a laugh Geralt had sat in on a few of Jaskier’s training session and he was so very torn between laughing his arse off and feeling sorry for Cahir who was doing his best to help them train for their fight scenes. For all his patience and expertise, Jaskier seemed determined to add his own flair. The number of times Jaskier accidentally smacked Geralt, Eskel and Cahir during training and on takes was truly staggering. It could have been a blooper reel all on its own.

Thankfully it was a short day, something about a number of the crew requesting the evening off. As it was towards the end of filming, they were within the time budget, it had been declared that they could all have the evening off.

“Just make him a home cooked meal,” Eskel advised. “Guys love that, trust me.”

“It work for you?” Geralt was a little sullen and sceptic. He didn’t think a home cooked meal was what Jaskier would want. On screen they were enemies with a terrible habit of falling into bed. The reality probably wasn’t so far off either. Though, at least, they had become friends after a rocky start.

“Would I be celebrating my fifth anniversary this evening if it didn’t?” There was no small amount of entertainment in Eskel’s face. “It’s not like my looks are what draw anyone in.”

That had been an unfortunate accident from before Geralt’s time. Some pyrotechnic stunt had gone horribly wrong and left Eskel with the scars. If it hadn’t been for those and the different coloured hair, Geralt was sure they could have been mistaken for brothers, if not twins. Still, now Eskel only worked on sets where Lambert was the one in charge of anything fire related. Which was just as well because Geralt liked Lambert, enjoyed trading barbs with him whenever their paths crossed. As Geralt’s fame climbed, he got to ask for more and more things in contracts and, as he was fond of Eskel, he asked for him as a stunt double whenever he could and then asked for Lambert if the set called for it. It was nice to have so much power and be able to work with those he liked. Interestingly, Cahir was fast becoming another person who Geralt got on with quite well. That wasn’t to say Geralt wasn’t scared shitless of him at the start. Nobody should know so much about fighting with so many weapons without having a very colourful past - one that Cahir refused to talk about. Still, the guy was good at his job and Geralt could talk to him, so his advice was sought out too.

“Just tell him. Bring him something you know he will like. Show an interest in him and his life outside of set.”

For the first time ever, Geralt felt that Cahir was in a rush. He wasn’t quite as patient and measured as usual.

“Excited for the evening off?” he asked, trying to be friendly. And maybe he was practicing Cahir’s advice on him so he could be sure it worked when he talked to Jaskier.

A soft, shy smile crossed Cahir’s face, making him look younger and much less severe. “That obvious? It’s my anniversary today. I want to make it special.”

“Maybe bring them a gift that they’ll like?” Geralt offered with an amused smile. “I have it on good authority that it works.”

Laughing, Cahir clapped Geralt on the shoulder. “Best of luck. Now go get your man.”

Finding Jaskier wasn’t an issue, Geralt just had to follow the sound of laughter and singing. Unsurprisingly, Jaskier was sat with a gigantic sparkler while Lambert was packing away. Those two were a dangerous combination at the best of times and Geralt knew Jaskier had, on more than one occasion, dropped by the writers’ room to posit new ideas that centred around more pyrotechnics. The ideas had obviously come from Lambert but they were mostly good so got used surprisingly frequently.

“Aha! My companion for the evening has arrived!” Jaskier hopped off the box he had been swinging his legs off and approached Geralt. “What say you? Dinner. You and me. We enjoy this rare evening off with some good company and good food.”

“Sounds good,” Geralt agreed readily, it saved him having to ask Jaskier.

Turning back, Jaskier waved at Lambert. “Enjoy your anniversary this evening! Make sure you can walk properly tomorrow though!”

Another anniversary. While Geralt had been feeling quite confident about asking Jaskier out, the news that it was yet another person’s anniversary somewhat ruined the idea. Geralt knew Jaskier liked to be unique, adored being different to everyone else. To ask him out now and share an anniversary with three people they knew, it felt a little less special. Mood taking a bit of a dive, Geralt slouched next to Jaskier as they walked towards the cars.

“Why the glum face?” Typically, nothing went over Jaskier’s head. “Would you prefer a night of solitude?”

Shaking his head, Geralt resigned himself to the knowledge that Jaskier would wheedle until he got the truth out of him. So he saved them both a lot of time and agony. “It’s stupid.”

“Nothing’s ever stupid, just needs to be valued correctly.”

“I wanted to ask you something. But make it special. It’s not special though, not today. Maybe I’ll try tomorrow.”

That made not a lick of sense to Jaskier and he frowned, bumping his shoulder against Geralt’s. “Just ask.”

“But it won’t be special. Three other couples we know have an anniversary today.”

A soft laugh from Jaskier pulled him from his grumblings. “So many people have their anniversaries every day. It’s not like one single day can be declared as only one couple’s.”

For someone so smart, Jaskier sure wasn’t putting the pieces together to solve just what Geralt was trying to say.

“But would you really want an anniversary when Lambert, Eskel and Cahir each have theirs too?” It was actually a little odd, now that Geralt thought of it. Three good friends all sharing an anniversary.

There was a moment of silence before Jaskier was rounding on Geralt, hands on his shoulders to stop him mid-walk.

“Dear heart, please tell me I’m hearing this wrong. Firstly, if I was so lucky as to have an anniversary, I wouldn’t care who I shared it with. I would love to simply have one, especially if you’re offering to have one with me. Secondly, please tell me you know why those three all have their anniversary date today.”

Mind whirring, Geralt tried to process everything Jaskier had just said. He picked the easier bit to reply to first. “They were on a night out together and met their partners at the same time? Bit like how people date within the same friendship groups or even date siblings?”

Face falling, Jaskier cursed under his breath. “And I thought I wasn’t being obvious enough. Oh dear. Geralt, those three, it’s their anniversary together. As in they’re all dating each other. And Aiden is at home, waiting for them. He got the day off today too.”

Geralt’s jaw fell slack. He couldn’t quite believe it. “They-they’re together?!”

“And they’ve not been subtle at all about it!” Jaskier was laughing. “I love you but you are so dumb, I swear.”

That forced Geralt back into the moment and he smiled. “I love you too.”

He didn’t expect an enthusiastic kiss out in the open but he really didn’t mind it at all. With a huff of a laugh Geralt returned it, arms wrapping around Jaskier’s waist.

“Come on then,” Jaskier finally said as he broke away. I believe we have our zero-th anniversary to have and make a solid start on new traditions. I think we should order takeaway as a treat for our anniversaries from now on.”

Laughing, Geralt linked their hands. He liked the idea of anniversary traditions. Jaskier most definitely had the best ideas.

[noahabaker]

Hey Noah, love your work! Been following you for some time now and really look forward to all the work you put out. My Q: I'm early in my career right now, working in an in-house role that is not the most creative (at least in my perspective). I'm similarly interested in working on cultural related projects, in music and art, and find that to be a nice release to be more expressive in practice. I'm wondering if you have any advice on how to get more projects along these lines?

Totally hear you, and thanks. Below are a few thoughts that might help.

1. Making work that people see (online, mostly) will lead to people reaching out to you.

2. Relatedly, doing work in one niche area (ie. luxury fashion branding, weird electronic music covers, small New York museum signage, modern art books, mainstream hip hop merch) leads to more work in that niche area. This is because of 1, and because clients can already imagine what you’d do for them which is comforting aesthetically and financially.

There’s danger here too — getting pigeonholed as a music designer and never getting any branding projects, for example. At the end of the day, you control what you show. So if you’re getting too much of one thing you don’t like but you still need the money, keep taking the projects but don’t show them in your portfolio/online.

3. If you don’t have work in a certain niche, you can make it yourself. Find a friend who makes music and do their cover. Do an art exhibition booklet for an exhibition of your favorite artists. This route isn’t for everyone. Certain versions of it (“Look at this sick fake Nike project I did!”) leave a weird taste in my mouth. But if you have the free time and the energy AND you want to dedicate it to graphic design, this can be a good “release” as you say and free you up to make some expressive work without the typical client process.

4. Often times these cultural projects will come along, but the budget or the deliverables will be disappointing in some way. Again, IF you have the time and energy, this can be a good place to push things beyond.

To use a real-life example, I was asked a couple years ago to “just layout the back cover” of a record that already had a cover. In speaking with the artist, it was clear to me that a more holistic design approach would improve the

By speaking with the artist about an overall concept instead of just throwing type on the back, we were able to get to something much more holistic and satisfying that involved printed innersleeves as well as center labels. Something I was prouder to showcase in my portfolio, too.

One more. Right out of school I took on a branding and web design project that I got paid poorly for ($500, I think) but still worked hard on, because I knew it’d be one of the few “real” branding projects in my portfolio at the time. It took forever, but it’s a project that I still get emails about.

That logic still holds now — I do work that pays terribly occasionally (almost all music does, by the way). I’m able to do that work in part due to my full-time job, which allows me to take on projects for non-monetary reasons. I recognize this is a very privileged position.

I largely disagree with absolutists who say you should never work for free no matter what. Your intuition on whether to accept or decline a project will get better over time, but you’ll probably make some mistakes before then.

5. Reach out to people who have access to these projects. Art directors or CDs at larger brands/labels, designers you admire. You can also reach out to “clients” directly — I once got a job by reaching out to a photographer who I really wanted to work with and asking if they needed website or book design. I do less of this now as the work comes at a pace I like, but it’s still really useful. People are flattered when you reach out to them in a complementary and helpful way! Brands may not respond as kindly.