#flower is a thot jokes

[ang3lc]

the voices were whispering about poly!141 romancing a burlesque dancer!reader, this was a lot fluffier than i intended it to be, but here are some thots...

﹥ simon first sees you at a performance he’s dragged to, fully expecting to be unimpressed.

﹥ the second you step on stage, he’s captivated—not just by how you move, but by the power and command you radiate.

﹥ he becomes a quiet regular at your shows, always sitting in the shadows, watching intently. no cheers or whistles, just the unwavering focus of a man completely in awe. no, that's not drool on his balaclava, what are you on about?

﹥ when he finally speaks to you backstage, it’s brief but genuine: “you were brilliant out there,” his presence lingers long after he’s gone.

﹥ simon shows his care in subtle ways, like walking you to your car or standing by when someone gets too pushy after a performance.

﹥ his intensity can be overwhelming, but his quiet reverence makes you feel seen like no one else ever has.

﹥ johnny is the loudest, most shameless fan in the crowd, whistling and cheering without a hint of restraint.

﹥ when you glance his way mid-performance, he gives you a cheeky wink that’s more charming than annoying.

﹥ after your first show, he’s waiting backstage with an absurdly large bouquet of flowers and a grin that could light up a room.

﹥ he shows up to every performance after that, leaving little notes and even bringing snacks to win over your crew just to have an excuse to be around.

﹥ when you’re stressed, johnny knows exactly how to pull you out of your funk, whether it’s cracking the worst jokes you have ever heard or reminding you why you’re amazing.

﹥ his energy is infectious, and while he’s a goof most of the time, his loyalty and admiration for you run deep.

﹥ kyle notices you for your confidence onstage, but it’s the person you are offstage that truly hooks him.

﹥ his first interaction with you is understated—a warm smile and a thoughtful question about your routine that catches you off guard with its sincerity.

﹥ he doesn’t overwhelm you with attention but instead takes the time to understand your world, asking about your inspirations and the work behind each performance.

﹥ kyle’s gestures are small but meaningful: bringing you tea (or coffee, if you prefer. either way, it's just right.) during long rehearsals, sharing playlists he made just for you, or songs he think you should dance to (in private, though it's too soon to admit he wants that)

﹥ he’s the steady presence in your life, always knowing when to step in and when to give you space.

﹥ watching your shows, his pride is quiet but palpable, his gaze full of admiration that makes your heart race. when he sees you nail a move you were struggling with at rehearsals, he knows to reward you later.

﹥ john isn’t the type to fall easily, but something about you draws him in—your grace, your confidence, your unapologetic authenticity.

﹥ he doesn’t approach you immediately, choosing instead to observe, waiting for the right moment to move on you.

﹥ when he finally does, his words are simple yet deliberate: “you’ve got a way of commanding a room.” there’s a weight to them that makes you realize he sees you.

﹥ john is the one who steps in when things get chaotic, offering calm solutions and unwavering support. a strong hand to guide you.

﹥ he’s protective without being overbearing, ensuring you’re taken care of without trying to control your life.

﹥ his affection reveals itself in quiet moments—holding your hand late at night, his voice low and rough against your ear as he confesses how much you mean to him.

﹥ together, the four of them create a healthy mix of support and chaos that makes your world feel complete.

﹥ simon ensures you always have a safe place to land, offering strength and stability.

﹥ johnny is the light that chases away any shadows, making you laugh even when you think you can’t.

﹥ kyle notices the little things, ensuring you’re always cared for in ways that matter most.

﹥ john is the anchor, grounding you with his steady presence and unwavering reliability.

﹥ they tease each other constantly—johnny and kyle competing to cheer the loudest at your shows while simon mutters about “bloody fools” in the corner, john's too lost in the way your hips move to care about any of their rambling.

when the spotlight fades and it’s just the five of you, you feel surrounded by a warmth that makes you realize you’ve found your permanent home—in their arms, in their hearts.

mlist | @honestlymassivetrash

[elrielffs]

How the next two books will go according to antis:

Gwynriel: Azriel telling Elain like, "Hey I know we almost bonked on solstice but I've only been lusting after you for two years now. Even though you don't like your mate you should be with him because Rhsyand daddy told me you should. People hate Cassian for this but will love me for it so begone THOT. I NEED MY MATE." And then Gwyn will be to Azriel like,"Hey, I know you can't look at me and I can't look at you without both of us thinking of the worst day of my life and you didn't give a shit that I was in the BR but we are both Canythian! and your shadows like me and I have PLIABLE BONES to bear all YOUR CHILDREN! And even though you've known about me for years and never checked up on me, I'm your mate!" And they have kinky sex that fixes Illyria and Nesta becomes High Queen. Nesta rejects the bond with Cassian and dates Eris. No mention of Emerie in these theories ever so she's just there to go yah GIRL POWER.

Elucien: Elain will be like,"Oh Lucien, I know I've wanted nothing to do with you these past few years but that's because you're so sexy. Azriel Scmhazriel. You could totally beat him in a duel! I see the error of my ways AND IM SO SORRY I DIDN'T BABY YOU AND IMMEDIATLEY GROVEL AT YOUR FEET. I know you participated in my trauma but that's okay. :) You're are sweet baby angel Lucien. I never made my own choices and I won't now! I'm ready to leave the life I've built behind for me here with my family, nephew, gardens and friends to go to the Human Lands. Oh Jurian? The guy who made a gang rape joke about me? Yes, he will be my bestie cause god knows those two dark wraiths only spent hours with me and baked with me aren't my friends! They're Rhysands friends and Vassa and Jurian are YOUR friends so it's okay. Oh we need to go to Day Court because Helion is your daddy. I like it here. I hated Night Court even though I said I'm apart of it! Black does NOTHING for my complexion. Oh Koschei? Zap. Done. Let's go steal Spring Court from Tamlin cause I like flowers." And Lucien will be like,"Oh Elain, even though I can't stand being around you and constantly compare you to my ex and traveled to a whole nother continent, I'm ready to accept your groveling for not immediately being a good little mate. I've never done anything bad ever. I have no agency. I'm just a wittle baby. Vassa? Nah, I hate her pussy boooooo. Only your majestic mate pussy can make me happy. Nothing else. Nope. Not at all. Helion's my dad? Oh well I gotta go be close to my family so we are going to Day Court but not you Elain. Your family sucks! Nesta said so. She was going to be my mate first you know but she would have turned me down instantly cause she doesn't understand I'm THE BABY and my happiness is all that matters." And Lucien becomes High Lord of Day and Elain High Lady of Spring and Koschei is handled in two pages.

FIN.

[mochinomnoms]

KEY

types: ☀️multi-chapter/collection;🌕one-shot;⭐drabble;💫headcanon

content:💕romantic; 🌸 platonic; 🍬fluff; 💔angst; ❤️‍🩹hurt/comfort; ❤️‍🔥suggestive; 🔥nsfw

‼️ content warnings at the beginning of each work ‼️

MULTIPLE/EVERYONE

Two's Company, Three's a Crowd, and Six is a Riot (OB!Boys)☀️💕💔❤️‍🩹

Twin joins Yuu in NRC💫🌸

HEARTSLAYBUL

Riddle Rosehearts

Jokester Partner💫💕❤️‍🔥

Frustrated Yuu⭐🌸

Trey Clover

a floral inconvenience: zinnias & cosmos 🌕💕🍬❤️‍🔥

francesca: “And I'd be the immediate forgiveness in Eurydice”🌕💕❤️‍🩹

Sleepwear Thots💫💕❤️‍🔥

Grumpy morning riser💫💕🍬❤️‍🔥

say you can't sleep, baby, I know 🌕💕🍬🔥

Cater Diamond

Ace Trappola

francesca: “If I could hold you for a minute / I'd go through it again”🌕💕💔

Frustrated Yuu⭐🌸

Finding you in your world⭐💕💔

Deuce Spade

Frustrated Yuu⭐🌸

Finding you in your world⭐💕💔

SAVANACLAW

Leona Kingscholar

Ruggie Bucchi

a floral inconvenience: dahlias 🌕💕❤️‍🔥

Jack Howl

OCTAVINELLE

Azul Ashengrotto

a floral inconvenience: lavender🌕💕🍬

francesca: “And flew like a moth to you, sunlight, oh, sunlight”🌕💕🔥

francesca: "Y al contemplarla en su mirada (wa-la-la-la-la-la-la)"🌕💕🔥

Shrimpy Chronicles (Masterlist)☀️🍬💕

Shrimpy Chronicles: The Delights of being "Zuzu"🌕🍬

Shrimpy Chronicles: Accidental Polycule⭐💕🍬

Jokester Partner💫💕❤️‍🔥

Jade Leech

The Private Thoughts (not) of a Moray☀️💕❤️‍🔥

a floral inconvenience: teonanácatl mushroom🌕💕❤️‍🔥

francesca: “Be like the love that discovered the sin (Lover, be good to me)”🌕💕

Shrimpy Chronicles (Masterlist)☀️🍬💕

Shrimpy Chronicles: First Mating Season🌕💕🔥

Jade's bad taste in jokes (pt. 1)💫💕

Jade's bad taste in jokes (pt. 2)💫💕🔥

Shrimpy Chronicles: The Drop-Off🌕🍬

Jade really likes piercings💫💕🔥

Feminine Jade⭐

Immovable object vs. Unstoppable object⭐💕

Valentine's Date (PTM)⭐💕

Finding out Jade's a simp (PTM)💫💕

Flower Gift (PTM)💫💕

Soft Thoughts and Soft Suggestions (PTM)⭐💕

Floyd Leech

a floral inconvenience: lavender roses🌕💕🍬

Shrimpy Chronicles (Masterlist)☀️🍬💕

Shrimpy Chronicles: First Mating Season🌕💕🔥

SCARABIA

Kalim Al-Asim

Jamil Viper

francesca: “It ain’t workin’ ‘cause you’re perfect”🌕💕🔥

Jokester Partner💫💕❤️‍🔥

POMEFIORE

Vil Schoenheit

a floral inconvenience: marigolds🌕💕🍬

Jokester Partner💫💕❤️‍🔥

Rook Hunt

Epel Felmier

IGNIHYDE

Idia Shroud

a floral inconvenience: blue hydrangeas🌕💕❤️‍🔥

Ortho Shroud

DIASOMNIA

Malleus Draconia

Dork loser in love💫💕

Lilia Vanrouge

Silver

a floral inconvenience: gardenias & peonies🌕💕❤️‍🩹

Sebek Zigvolt

a floral inconvenience event: stargazer lilies🌕💕❤️‍🩹

Jokester Partner💫💕❤️‍🔥

NRC Staff/Other Characters

Dire Crowley

Divus Crewel

Mozus Trein

Ashton Vargas

Sam

Grim

[euphoricfilter]

babe i need night thoughts about sucking jungkook choco chip kookie (nipple) that looks so good ohgod. im obsessed with his body. wanna kiss wanna bite wanna suck every inch of his skin. his mole, his abs, his plumpy lips his everything ohgod. let me have him for the night

ask and you shall receive, dw i got you babes 🏃‍♀️

. • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆. night short #11

tonight’s night thot is all about body worshiping

maybe jungkook is the type of person to be slightly obsessive over his partners body. curious hands touching you in places that had you slicking up, fingers digging into your flesh, loving the way it moulds under his hands

however, i think he’d become a little whiny when it came down to him and his own body being loved just right

it would start off as a joke, you tying him up. wrists bound to the bedpost as you sit between his spread legs, cock straining against his boxers

you’d start with the mole under his lips, a featherlight kiss. and he’d chase after you, neck craning to try and bring you back for something longer, messier. and that would be your cue to become a bit of a tease, trailing your lips lower, over his jaw and down his neck.

you’d paint his skin red with your love, the rawest, almost feral form of worshipping as you sink your teeth into the side of his neck. love bites digging into his flesh, a path of little divots from your teeth trailing down his chest

he’d obviously squirm when you lave your tongue over his nipples, sucking them until he moans ever so pretty. your thumb brushing against the one that isn’t in your mouth, because you’re not that mean, and would never neglect him. not when he would sound so delicious, your name slipping past his lips over and over until his hips are bucking upwards, desperate for any sort of pleasure to his poor cock, anything to sate the animalistic need to have it shoved down your throat

and maybe you’d take your time with him, kissing down his body like he’d done to you so many times, relishing his pretty skin, almost flawless, though you always would find yourself loving the constellation of scars and impurities that painted his body, proof that he was human. a kiss pressed to all the places you knew he looked at in the mirror and frowned at, because to you they were the most beautiful things

and maybe you kiss the insides of his thighs before you pull his underwear down, fingers digging into his hips as he ruts his cock into your throat. you’d pull out just enough for him to cum on your tongue, pushing yourself up his body until your lips meet his and his own seed coats his lips shiny and he pushes the mixture of his cum and both your saliva back into your mouth with his tongue

of course you’d give him a sweeter kiss after, let his hands free so he can love your body as much as you’d shown you love his. both your bodies littered with evidence of your lust, blooming flowers of red and purple and barely there teeth marks scattered pretty over both your bodies. because maybe jungkook was as obsessed with your body, as you are his

night thoughts masterlist

that behind the scenes of the CK shoot had me clawing at the walls, and i need jungkook to know how pretty he actually is 🚶‍♀️

[imdoingsortagay]

request for valentines day celebration!! prompt 4, 6 and 12 with emo!wanda x reader. where wanda is trying to hint (kinda new avenger) reader that she’s likes them 🤭🤭 fluffy emo!wanda is my fave

The secret admirer

warnings: fluff , mention of some avengers, stucky ( being gay for a bit)

a/n: mwah enjoy <3

“ Looks like someone got some new things from their secret admirer,” Natasha says as she walks into the kitchen, met with the view of some of the prettiest bouquets of flowers accompanies by a fresh plate of french toast. 

“ Roses are red, violets are blue, I know I can't rhyme, but I want to date you,” you read aloud to her, smiling a bit at the cheesy pickup line the person left for you. 

In the past couple of weeks, someone in the compound had been leaving things for you, planning it when you least expect it and you haven’t been able to figure it out. 

“ There are flowers in the front of your door y/n” 

“Who from?” you ask her, reading some papers from a meeting.

“I think that you have a secret admirer.” Natasha taunts as she brings the flowers to your room, confused as to why someone would leave flowers. Being past widows, neither of you were even aware that people did this but you took the flowers in your room for a pop of color.

“ Are you sure that you didn’t send these Natty? I promise to let you down easy if you do” you jokingly tell her.

“ Oh sweet y/n,” Natasha starts off,” I think we’ve established that the only chance that I’d consider to date you is if you were the only other person on earth”. 

“ Ouch Romanoff, my heart,” you dramatically say. Both of you had been good friends, meeting each other in the red room, escaping together, and now in a team together protecting the planet from any sort of threats. All this time together meant that you only saw her as a best friend which both of you were fine with as Natasha had her eyes set on a certain agent at shield.

“ You are you dumb y/n-” 

“ Calling me dumb Natty? Says the one who-” 

“ Hello to both of you,” Wanda says as she walks into the kitchen, looking at the bouquet of flowers on the counter while she witnesses both of her teammates bicker like children. 

The younger brunette tries her best to hide her smile as you observe the flowers. 

What you didn’t know was that Wanda had been the one who was leaving you all of these messages, too shy to admit the feelings that she had for you with a fear of being rejected. A quick google search leads to her leaving presents in your room, and kitchen but you seem to struggle that it’s her. Wanda even left a bit of clue that might help but even those don’t seem to help.

“ So who got the cute flowers?” Wanda curiously asks, looking at the amazing job the florist did with choosing flowers related to love. The roses and tulips bring life to the boring kitchen. 

Natasha out of boredom decides the moment to be quiet to look at the conversation between you too. In her own little investigation, everyone on the team besides Wanda and Sam were the two people left as to who the fuck was sending you all of these things. She assumed at first, Tony would do something like this because he has money to spend for days and he denied it. Bruce only saw you as a friend, Clint has a whole family with kids that he’s very happy to deal with, and Bucky has something going on with Steve that she’ll have to investigate another time while sweet Thot’s heart seemed to belong to Jane foster. 

Wanda seemed to forget that Natasha was in the kitchen with you too as she giggles at the little jokes you throw into the conversation, failing badly at trying to hide the crush but can you blame her if she doesn’t have any sort of experience with it? 

“ y/n you are too funny,” Wanda says placing her hand on your shoulder, wondering if the article on dating is doing the trick to woo you,” always making me laugh”. All Natasha can do is cringe, feeling bad for the younger redhead with her very terrible attempt at flirting. A couple more attempts at flirting, some jokes made by Wanda, and more awkwardness before you leave the kitchen to make your way to train with Clint. Wanda was about to leave as well to try to get the next set of items ready when she was stopped by her teammates who was smiling like crazy, holding in her laughter.

Now all the cheesy sticky notes left for you make sense now.

“ Natasha,” she starts off. 

“ Witchy that was some of the worst flirting I’ve ever seen-” Natasha says before laughing.

“ It’s not that bad Nat, have you seen whatever the fuck Bucky and Steve have been doing?” She asks, a little embarrassed that even the black widow knows about her crush on you. 

“ I did not expect you out of all people to send my y/n those gifts, the only thing that confirmed it was the flirting. Also those pickup lines are so cheesy where did you even get them?”. 

“ not the point,” Wanda tells her before trying to look in the fridge for food but the mighty black widow stops her. Though Wanda can use her powers to just move her, it’s too early to be doing that and she’d have to be lectured by Stark about the use of her powers to mess with people. 

“ It’s been a couple of weeks now Wanda, so when do you plan on telling y/n about your feelings before I don’t know, they just get tired of all the gifts?” Natasha asks the younger woman. They might not be as close but she would hate to see the young woman heartbroken after all of the things that she’s experienced in life so far. At that moment she decided it would be a good idea to help her out with stuff like this.

“ Would you help me out, Natasha? I know that we aren’t close but you know y/n better than anyone and I just want to make this as perfect as possible, like I know that it’s alot to ask so take all of the -” 

“ I’ll help you out witchy with your crush and reveal,” Natasha says which elicited a smile from Wanda. Using what she learned from Sam and Bucky, Wanda holds out her hand to give the older woman in front of her a fist bump instead of a hug but she is relieved when Natasha fistbumps her. 

“ One more week and I’ll make sure y/n will know about your crush,” Natasha ensure her teammate before they head to her room to make up a plan. 

After two hours of romantic plans, Clint joined in and with so many questions that Wanda asked, the plan was finally formed and Wanda could not wait for it to happen.

A week full of busy meetings, training with the senior avengers, Wanda catching Steve and Bucky going at it in the supply closet on accident ( poor girlie ) leads to the both of you spending the weekend at one of Tony’s many cabins near the compound.

As much as Wanda wanted to tell you about her feelings at the compound, she wanted to make sure that it wouldn’t be interrupted by anyone coming in or their pets.

“ So tony just let us borrow it for the weekend?” You ask while you drive together to the cabin.

While you are confused, you are are very happy to take a break from your Avengers stuff, always happy to spend time with the brunette woman. Being earth’s mightiest hero’s left for no free time but when there was some, you’d always take it to spend time with Wanda.

“ something about needing us to bond more since we’re the only two who haven’t spend time alone,” Wanda lies to you , while everyone in the team very much is aware your super close to each other.

“ weird ,” you comment as you pull up into the drive way, always amazed at the size of these cabins and question why the man always needs to go big. Wanda gets her stuff and quickly heads in first before you do, happy to be greeted with a array of desserts, all of them your favorite ones and one last note with a quote that you had said to Wanda when you first met.

“ Wanda maximoff,” she tells herself, “ you are a very pretty girl, you got this, pietro would tell you that you got this.”

You walk into the cabin a couple of minutes after to see Wanda standing in the kitchen next to an array of desserts, getting hungry at the sight of them.

“ WANDA HOW DID YOU DO ALL THIS ?” You say in an excited tone.

“ I wanted to talk about the admirer of yours actually,” she starts off while you sit down at the table along with her.

“ oh that ? Yeah I don’t think it’s Natasha but she’s been spending a lot of time with you , why ?” You casually ask her.

“ well it’s because -“

“ cause she’s only done this once with Bruce and while I know you wouldn’t hurt a single fly, I will throw you out side of a window if you-

“ i dont like Natasha , i like you" she interrupts your ramble before there’s silence between the two of you, the young woman in front of you mad that she didn’t get to do her plan.

“ me ?”

“ you’re so hot your hurting my feeling that I can’t deal, “ she says to you , while you chuckle at the choice of lyrics she uses. Wanda decides to take this opportunity to go towards you , life you of out of your chair to kiss you.

Not the way that she would of imagined it but it’s a memory she’ll cherish forever

[helloheyhihowdyheya]

Misattribution of Arousal | pt. 2

Fratboy!Peter Parker x gn!reader

Masterlist

Words: ~3k

Warnings: Let me know if I missed anything, but this can be read as a gn!reader. Gets suggestive. Kissing. Fluff

A/N: This is a continuation of this fic. Thank you for the love on the last part – Fratboy!Peter does something to me lol. Hope you like it!

Thanks as always for reading!! Love to hear your thoughts (and thots) <3

It’s not long before you’re leaving a spot open next to you for Peter when he rushes into class a few minutes late. Though you didn’t sit near the back before, you did now so he could easily slip in the seat to your left without disturbing too many others

And so that you could laugh at his little comments without the professor hearing

A little breathless as he removes his backpack, he asks, “What’d I miss?”

Wordlessly, you point to your notes for today’s lecture. The only thing you have written besides the date is “What’d I miss? - Peter” – already knowing what he’d ask

Peter stifles a laugh behind the back of his hand while a smile rises on your face. But any confidence you felt in that moment disappears as he grabs your pencil. His fingers brush against yours before writing something below your question

“You”

He whispers, “That was an easy answer”

With your face hot, you still stare forward, pretending to focus on whatever the professor’s saying. But the heavy weight of his gaze drags down your resolve. To remedy the heat licking up your spine, you try to distract him

“Might be on the test,” you joke, a breathy laugh following your words

Though of course, you could sense the smirk rising to his lips, always winning this back and forth between you two

“Guess I’ll just have to study extra hard, then”

Any witty remark you could’ve had dies in your throat – couldn’t even look him in the eyes for the rest of class

Peter usually ends up taking pity on you in these moments, which much to your annoyance (and sometimes flattery) happens way too often. He’ll tone down the flirtiness and let you breathe before making some other remark that leaves you struggling to face him

--

One time, you joke that he gets off on it. He just laughs, letting the silence to your accusation speak for itself, which only fuels your overactive thoughts

--

Some days, you’re doodling in the top corner of your notebook, random shapes and lines – the occasional flower here and there

Those are Peter’s favorite because he’ll doodle his own flowers in between yours. Usually, by the end of class, he rips off the corner of the page and thanks you for the bouquet 

He laughs it off, teasing you for not focusing in class or something, but you see the way he slips it into his folder for the class. So you eventually doodle flowers on your paper more often, sometimes on his too (when he actually bothers to open up his notebook)

--

And you’d go to his basketball games!!

You didn’t really have a reason to attend before besides general school spirit, but now…

Peter would invite you, quite unsure you’d even want to go – unsure he was a good enough reason to get you to come

But you did show up, bought popcorn and a drink, even subtly adding some of your school’s colors to your outfit

Part of you feels a little out of place in all this, but the look on Peter’s face when his eyes catch yours while jogging onto the court soothes any worries as you watch him

And boy do you watch him. The way he effortlessly gets around other players, how his arms flex when lining up his shot, the sweat slowly beading along his forehead keeps you from looking anywhere else the whole game. After he makes an impressive shot, sometimes his eyes will find yours with that annoyingly beautiful smile

After some games, he’d go back to his place to rest or go out to celebrate with his team. But other times, he’d search you out after exiting the locker room

You raise your hands to keep him from getting his sweat on you, but that just spurs him further – which you’re not too upset about because it means him trying to get you and keep you in his embrace. You’re laughing, trying to push him away but only half-heartedly as most of your mind is on the way his hard body presses against yours

Peter pulls away but only a little as he asks, “Wanna get ice cream?”

And you do. Anything to spend a minute longer with him. And something to cool yourself down

--

One day, it’s in the lulling silence between the two of you in the campus coffee shop that Peter asks you. 

In between conversations, when neither of you have fought your words up your throat and out just yet, the silence had felt comfortable for a short time. In that brief window of time between friends and realizing that you’re actually starting to fall for him. But it’s different now, your nerves over-firing all the time around him, so this silence is like no other as of late: coursing into your muscles to keep you tense and nervous, even making you jump when Peter asks,

“Are you coming to my party on Friday?”

Your eyes blink up from the swirls of your drink to his, only beginning with “Um…” while your brain tries to catch up

You knew his frat house threw parties often, Peter leading most of them with wide arms and his usual grace. He’d mentioned you coming to them before but hasn’t ever asked outright. If how shocked you are by his bluntness rises to your face, he doesn’t acknowledge it. You liked Peter, being with him, but at a house of drunk people you didn’t know – that wasn’t exactly your element

As you balanced the decision back and forth in your head, he just watches, giving you an amused sort of look that doesn’t help your focus in any way. You hold your drink close to your body as you answer

“I don’t know, I might need to catch up on things – especially since someone’s been taking up plenty of my free time,” you pointedly say to him

In the short moment of him smiling, you think he might let you off the hook. But no

“C’mon, I can actually show you around the place. And you could meet my friends if you want”

Tilting your head, you ask, “Won’t you be busy hosting or… wanting to enjoy yourself and party?”

The laugh he lets out isn’t quite like one that follows something funny. More like he’s laughing at you for a bad joke. “I’d enjoy myself plenty just hanging out with you. Promise,” he says, holding up three fingers. “Scout’s honor.”

That makes you giggle. “Were you even a boy scout, Peter?”

His body leans forward along the table, his hand coming up to ruffle his hair before resting his head on his fist. “If you come Friday, I’ll show you my patch collection”

Smacking his arm, you shake your head. “You do not have a boy scout patch collection in your frat house.” You’re sure his wide grin matches your own, and there’s no way you can say no to him, to anything he’d ask of you in that moment

“Okay,” you sigh, “but if you weren’t an Eagle Scout, then I’m going to be a little disappointed”

He whispers a soft “yes!” under his breath, leaning back in his chair. You roll your eyes at his cheering, earning a soft tap from his foot against your leg under the table

--

Your roommate, watching you unable to decide on what outfit to wear to this, helps you get ready. Something cute? Something revealing? Your roommate leans toward the latter, “Make him start drooling the second he sees you”

Compromising on something in between, you walk out the door into your campus’s night air hoping it’s good enough for… what?

With each step, you get closer to the house, passing other students dressed up for the night, you’re not sure what you’re trying to do. Impress him? Get him to kiss you? Not be too embarrassed to show you around at least…

Music grows louder as you near the frat house, seeing colorful lights stream out from the windows. Just as sneaking thoughts start worming their way through your mind second-guessing this whole thing, you spot him

Peter’s out in front of the house, leaning back against the wall, bobbing his head to the music and sipping from a cup. In the swaying shadows of the lights, he looks beautiful like this – and then he sees you

Instantly, everything about how he holds himself changes. Pushing off the wall, arms stretched wide with that electric smile, he walks toward you

You’re not sure whether you’re relieved that you won’t have to search through a sea of bodies to find him or dreading how nervous his intense gaze makes you

As the distance between you two dwindles, his eyes drag down your body, making you shrink a bit. Maybe it’s the outfit, but he’s like this with you all the time. It’s how he has to be to any girl here

Your hands clasp in front of you, your fingers picking at your nails. Perhaps Peter notices because he grabs your hand in his, sending your skin aflame with his hot touch, and brings it up

Dramatically, he holds it as he bows with a dumb smile, saying, “Welcome to my great estate”

Giggling and embarrassed, you weakly try to pull away, but he holds tight for a moment – like if you pull again, he’ll let you go in an instant. As if he’s asking if you really want to leave his touch

But you don’t so you let him hold your hand as you say, “Peter, you’re ridiculous. I’ve already been here before”

Shaking his head, he fake tsks at you. “Sweetheart…”

Oh my lord. What did he just call you? Wait, shit, he’s still talking

“That was the traditional Boy Scouts greeting, don’t go disrespecting it. And you haven’t been here in its prime time, so I’ll have to reacquaint the two of you”

All you can do is laugh, your mind too fuzzy to think of a good response when that pet name for you rolled off his lips so beautifully. Not that you were focused on his lips

The feeling of him squeezing your hand brings you back, your eyes focusing on the way his head tilts slightly at you, his gaze never leaving you

Clearing your throat, you finally manage to say, “Show me the way, then”

Peter shifts to the other side of you, and the way your stomach drops at the chance of him letting go of your hand shocks you, your heart thumping against your ribs. But he just moves your hand from one side to the other, entwining your fingers with his while walking through the door

You’d been to parties, have become acquainted with loud and stuffy places full of people you don’t know, but the sheer intensity of all that feels tenfold against your chest. You knew his fraternity was made up of a lot of basketball players, but the amount of towering men walking through has you feeling just as small again

For a split second, someone bumps into you, disconnecting your hand with Peter’s as swaying bodies swallow you farther away. Standing on the tips of your toes, you try finding him again, but you can barely see or hear anything

You’re left following the crowd, pushing through until you find the kitchen. Feeling sweat start to form along your skin, you find anything cold to drink, standing off to the side. Though the rest of you feels warm, the part of your skin that he touched feels just a bit colder without him next to you

In the corner, focusing on the people in front of you, you’re trying to calm your heartbeat. And hoping that Peter would somehow find you 

Though with everyone so close and the music too loud to hear another person even if they were yelling next to you, you found it difficult to find peace

Not until you spot him once again

It’s his flopping blonde hair that you first see, recognizing the twisted strands of sunlight as they move toward you. Then his warm eyes as they scanned the crowd

You look next at that usual smile that had started feeling like a familiar comfort – like discovering your new favorite song you wanted to replay for hours on end – but he isn’t smiling

No, his mouth’s set into a straight line, his eyebrows drawn together as his head whips this way and that. Abrasive thoughts in the back of your head tell you not to, that he wasn’t really looking for you. But still, you raise your hand, hoping to grab his attention 

And once his gaze finds you once again, a tightness visibly escapes him, loosening his shoulders as he pushes through to you, not letting anyone stop his momentum until the two of you are face to face

“There you are,” he yells, though it feels like a caressing whisper against your cheek

“Here I am,” you tell him, unable to hide away from his infectious smile that brings one to your own face

“Yeah,” he breathes out. You can only tell by reading his lips, but you find it hard to drag your eyes away from his mouth after that

Not until he asks, “You okay? You look a bit flushed”

Peter pressed the back of his hand against your forehead, checking your temperature with those worried creases adorning his face again. The sheer tenderness brings a shaky breath from your lungs

“Here, let’s go upstairs,” he says, eyebrows raised as he grabs your hand again, holding tighter than before

A pang of apprehension – of guilt – hits your chest. “Shouldn’t you be down here hosting and being with your friends?”

As soon as your question hits his ears, he gives you a soft smile, rolling his eyes as he leads you through the crowd once more. Every time he looks back, making sure you’re okay, a tang of butterflies swirling in your stomach starts up again

The misattribution of arousal theory isn’t lost on you in the moment, and you refuse to be confused like those people. Clearly, your bodily arousal is coming from the suffocating party rather than the handsome man glancing back at you with stars in his eyes

That same inner voice from before raises worries that every pair of eyes watching the two of you might be assuming that Peter Parker’s taking you up to his room, all alone, to make you another one of his one-night stands

But you feel the way his thumb rubs against your skin as you climb the stairs, feeling the callouses he brushes along the dips and curves of your hand – finding yourself unable to care too much about what they all think when he fits so right against you

Outside his door, he knocks a few times, ensuring no one else has snuck in to use it before pulling you inside. All the once deafening noises become muffled behind the closed door, in a world far away from the one you found yourself in with Peter

The clicking of the handle’s lock being pressed clangs through your body, making your eyes widen. Was this what he actually wanted from you? You chewed on your lip, debating the situation in your head in an instant

But once he looks at you, he explains with a sort of breathlessness you haven’t heard from him before. “I just didn’t want to have some drunk couple trying to get it on while we’re talking, I didn’t mean to imply…”

Seeing him as the one flustered for once, his cheeks flushed as he tries to ensure you weren’t uncomfortable brings a surge of something – pride, softness, pure happiness in this uninterrupted moment – to your chest

“Makes sense,” you say, sitting down on his bed, taking another sip of your drink to soothe an ache in your throat… trying to soothe the pulsing that Peter seems to pinprick your body with

“Want another drink?” he asks, gesturing his head to the cup you hold

“I’m okay.” You shake your head, a smile rising across your face. “I’ll have to pay you back for another drink then,” you joke

“You never had to pay me back for the first one,” he says, walking in long strides to sit next to you, the mattress dipping with his weight and pulling your body closer to his

A tightness creeps up your throat, unsure where this comes from as you say, “What excuse would I have had to see you then?” You hope the giddiness, your frayed nerves, don’t show on your face

But he’s staring so intently at you from only a few inches away that he has to notice. But he doesn’t point it out, only whispering, “Let me take you out, sweetheart”

If it weren’t for the dull beats of the music and shouting voices coming from below, you would worry that Peter could hear your heart hammering throughout your body or the hard swallow that scratches its way down

Maybe he does hear it because now he’s only a breath apart from you. Softly, you whisper, “Then we’d have to go on another date so I can repay you”

Still closer now, you’re able to pick out the shimmering specks of color adorning his eyes, and you’d spend as long as he’d allow committing each and every one to memory

Against your lips, he mutters, “Oh, wouldn’t that be a real shame”

You aren’t sure when your hand found its way to his hand pressed into the mattress next to your hip or when it creeped up to his forearm, but it seems every inch of yourself magnetically pulls to him in the most addicting way

Even still, his eyes flick between yours and your mouth – now parted in shallow breaths – with his eyebrows raised, silently asking you the question your body is practically begging from him

At the weak nods you gave him, he asks, “Yeah?”

Your nods turned excited, desperate, as you whispered back, “Yes”

Surging forward, his lips are on yours, his hands pressing down against the fabric of your clothes, his chest pushing yours back. Like he can’t get close enough to you, not in this moment or ever

But the little noise that erupts in the back of your throat satisfies him enough as you lean until your back is flush against his bed and body over yours, his mouth moving as his tongue dips past his teeth and against your bottom lip

You’re not sure how long the two of you stay like this, a push and pull between your bodies, when he tilts his head back. As his forehead’s resting against yours, ragged breaths filling the space between you and a spreading warmth filling an empty space between your ribs, you smile

You smile until your cheeks hurt and he’s grinning back at you – like he’s content not being in on the joke, or maybe just that he knows the exact reason why you’re so happy because it’s the same reason he is

And you let him take you out on that date, with a promise to pay him back with another

--

@reidslovely​

[orangepanic]

(Asking politely) directors commentary on The Uniform Bet?

In response to this ask (I'm slowly working through my asks y'all, thanks for your patience!)

Thank you for asking! This is a fic I rarely get questions about so I'm delighted.

I wrote The Uniform Bet as a gift for my friend @chiefbeifongcanrailme. She's maybe the #1 Lin Beifong fan ever, so right away I knew Lin was going to be the center of the fic. I also knew I wanted it to be fairly NSFW because, well, Lin deserves it. But I couldn't really settle on a ship. Lin and Commander Bumi? Lin and Mako? Lin and General Iroh? All worthy relationships that don't get much attention. Then I remembered my audience, and her brilliant fic, Chaos, in which Lin is hot and everyone wants to bang her. And I thought, why re-invent the wheel?

After that, the pieces fell into place mostly on their own. While I don't have quite as much of the "the Gaang were all one big happy family and they all married each other" headcanons as some folks, I do like the idea that Lin and Bumi have known one another a long time. I love them as a 40-year friends-to-lovers arc that starts with them each thinking it's a joke until it's somehow not a joke anymore, and pretty much always write them that way. They're dynamic ships itself.

Of all the characters in this fic, I obviously know General Iroh the best. Because I've largely made him up. And while I love him to death, his style is the exact opposite of Bumi and Lin's sarcastic teasing. Even in a good mood he's too serious. So right off the bat in the first chapter I had Lin and Bumi yukking it up and Iroh having none of it. The rest of the plot sort of fell in around this dynamic. So, what situation would Bumi and Lin let roll off their shoulders that Iroh would take too seriously and pout about?

Going alone to a wedding.

I headcanon Iroh as the romantic. He wants to date someone. Badly. He wants to throw flowers at their face and shower them with kisses and love them forever and ever and ever like the dork that he is. A wedding he's alone at is like a knife in his heart. Lin and Bumi, however, would I think care a lot less about the context. Neither married. A wedding wouldn't mean as much as not having a specific person in a specific relationship. This quickly became Lin and Bumi thinking thoughts about a relationship with each other while Iroh makes lonely sad faces at the world. Which brings us to Mako. Guess who else would be alone at a S4 wedding? This is too easy.

And that was largely it. Combining the principles of a) Lin is hot and everyone knows that, b) Lin and Bumi are thinking thots but won't say them, c) Iroh is sad and annoyed, d) Mako is single and oblivious led me to both the idea of the bet between Lin and Bumi about which pathetic single firebender they could get a date for first as well as Iroh's counter-plan to get the two of them off his back. Mako, who had zero to do with the set up, is mostly along for the ride here. Lin wants to walk with him? Hot. Lin wants to get fucked against the wall of her hotel room? He's not complaining. Share Lin with Bumi? Weird, but he could get used to it. He's a nice guy, and it's better than not getting laid at all.

But because it's me my hand slipped and Iroh wound up with a love match of his own at the end. Completely unintended side plot.

Ask me for a Director's Cut commentary of any fic.

[sebsxphia]

Sebbie honey?? Might I offer a Preacher!Rhett thought/thot on this lovely Friday evening?? (lol). It's not much but I hope it's something.

It's been kind of a long day and you're really, really feeling it. You've got aches and pains everywhere, even in places you can't even name. You've been dealing with alot all day long and on top of that, a thunderstorm is rolling in so all you wanna do is sleep when you get home. It's literally all you can do to get in the front door before you find Rhett in the kitchen making dinner. Luckily the babies are with a family friend and you don't have to worry about them mobbing you when you stumble in, but the cat thinks otherwise when she's curling around your ankles.

Rhett immediately sees the look on your face and draws you right to him. "S'matter lamb?" he asks.

You tell him everything that's happened and once you do, Rhett tells you, "gimme one minute Lamb and I'll help you get settled."

He hurries to finish dinner (you honestly got a little nervous when he was cutting up the bunching onions for the chicken thighs that were going in the oven because he was going so quickly) and immediately leads you upstairs to the bathroom. He runs you a hot bath and pulls one of the jars that has one of your special dried flower mixes in it and just lets you kinda relax.

But you bet your ass that pretty soon the scent of the bath mix and seeing you naked in a steaming hot bath drives him absolutely nuts!!!! I'm a firm believer that Rhett's favorite position in the bathtub is the mating press (I don't doubt either that that's how some of the babies were conceived, that man has sperm that are practically indestructable, lol) and it's the one way he makes sure that every last ounce of stress is thoroughly fucked out of you and you two have a running joke that he's "performing an exorcism" (lol).

I know that last part probably came out weird Sebbie, it's been a day and I need my favorite cowboy to do unholy things to me (lol).

oh my love please! this is everything! 🥹 mating press in the bath too?! please, that’s so fucking real! your body is warm and fucked out thoroughly, it’s all you need, and all i need rn pls 🥺

thank you so much for this sweet thot my love! 💌

[hederasgarden]

Ivy........I have come bearing some thoughts and maybe the occasional thotty thot.......dare I say for Sentry?? I know Thunderbolts hasn't come out yet but I'm weak for this man and I will be even weaker when Salem's Lot gets released in October (lol).

You and Robert Reynolds have your own little place way out of the way from NYC along with the rest of the Avengers, but it's nowhere on earth........it's in fucking Asgard of all places (lol).

-Your engagement rings were made by the dwarves after Thor and Jane commissioned them for you. Both of them glow when you and Sentry are near each other, his is gold and its in the shape of a Nordic knot but yours is silver and the diamond looks like a flower, just like Galadriel's ring in LOTR

-You and Robert have one of the best houses in Asgard. Outwardly it looks like a typical Viking stave house but inside it's like a huge timberframe with all the space you could ask for. There's tons of space for books and especially when people stay over

-Normie loves to go absolutely BONKERS!!! That little floof of a corgi will nest anywhere and everywhere in that house, will run all over the yard and bring back the WEIRDEST shit you can think of. One time he brought back a rock that turned out to actually be a rock giant's pet (lol)

-Your shared bed in that house is so comfy and cozy especially during the winter months (lets face it Asgardian winters are no joke). It's got its own little woodstove which keeps the whole house heated nicely, however you blushed a little when Robert woke up to reload it with wood and you realized he was butt ass naked

-Robert Reynolds is definitely a naked sleeper. He loved the feeling of being warm and cozy under the blankets but also the feeling of it on his skin. You're basically his cuddle-bunny when you're in bed together and he loves when you have skin on skin time with him

I know next to nothing about Sentry but this was adorable! I too am excited about Salem's Lot and Thunderbolts for Lewis!

Ask me anything! Come talk to me!

[losersiancebeepbleh]

BFDI Fairytale: Flowerlocks and the Three Finalists

Warning: This is a crackfic, so be prepared for characters acting OOC. I’m not trying to bash anyone, but crackfics just be like this, you know. Also, warning that there’s mentions of death and knives here, though there’s no actual gore. Also, there’s dead memes, so be warned.

Also here’s the Wattpad link to it if you prefer reading it on Wattpad for some reason:

Anyways, here’s the story:

********************

Flowerlocks and the Three Finalists

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Flowerlocks, who was taking a stroll through the woods. Now, this story takes place during BFDI, back when Flower was still more of a thot than Pencil and Match.

"Wait, what was that?" Flowerlocks asked angrily, glaring at the narrator.

Nothing. Also, you shouldn't be able to hear me.

"Uh, fine, whatever..." Flower said, continuing on her way.

Anyways, Flowerlocks soon stumbled upon a cottage in the middle of the woods. Being the thot she was, she decided that her next course of action should be breaking and entering. (Don't try this at home, kids!) However, she didn't really need to break anything, since the door was unlocked, so it was more like... just entering. (Seriously, you need to lock all your doors when you leave the house, or else a Flower could end up invading your house! And you wouldn't want that to happen, now do you?)

The first thing that greeted Flowerlocks as soon as she opened the door were three bowls of food lying on a table. Flowerlocks, who had been disappointed that she didn't have to break anything to get in, decided that this was the perfect opportunity to make up for that. So she tried to eat their food.

The first bowl of food had spicy Despacito Doritos in them. Flower recognized them from a commercial where Firey Underwear sponsored them. She decided to try them.

"Ugh!" Flower yelled. "This is too spicy and flavorful! My taste buds can't handle all the memes!"

After her tongue had calmed down from the spiciness, she decided to move on to the next bowl. Inside it were leaves. (Yes, Leafy is a cannibal. How else do you think she stays eternally young?) Flower took a bite, despite the ominous aura radiating from the leaves.

If the Despacito Doritos were too flavorful, then the leaves were too flavorless. They tasted like emptiness, the void, and the destruction of the universe. (No, it's not because Leafy sucked all the life out of them. It's because that's what spinach actually tastes like irl.)

Anyways, after Flower finally stopped feeling empty because of the spinach, she moved on to the next bowl. It had Yoylecake on it. She tried a bite.

"This is delicious!" Flower said, "It's not too flavorful, nor is it too flavorless! It's just right!" And then she ate the whole Yoylecake because this takes place before Ruby taught her how to be not mean. She also turned metal because Yoylecake, but she didn't really care.

Now, the author doesn't like how both the chairs and the beds were too hard/soft in the original fairytale, so she decided to replace the chairs with something else. Instead of finding chairs, Flowerlocks found a closet with three outfits.

"Wait, hold on!" Flower protested. "Objects don't wear clothes! Well, with the exception of my Non Slip Shoes So Ha! (™), of course!"

Uh, well, this is a human AU.

"Oh ok," the now human Flower said, "But wait! Why would I try on their clothes if I'm already wearing clothes?"

Because, um, because you're a thot.

"Hey!" Flowerlocks shouted indignantly.

Just try the clothes on, please.

"Ugh, fine..." Flower said with a slight humph sound.

She tried on the first outfit. It was bright orange and yellow. When she saw herself wearing it in the mirror, she gagged.

"Why is this so bright? This is a fashion faux pas! This orange makes me look like a prison inmate!" She yelled, revolted. She hurriedly ran back into the closet to try on the second outfit.

She came back out wearing all black. She looked at the mirror in distaste.

"Ugh, I look like an emo teenager. This outfit is so dull and dark," Flower complained. "Why is this outfit so edgy? I'm going to change again." She went back into the closet for the third outfit.

This time, she emerged wearing a light blue dress. As she went to look in the mirror, she suddenly gasped and did a quick twirl in it.

"Not too bright, but not too dull," Flower said in satisfaction. "It's just right!"

Still wearing the borrowed outfit, she went upstairs. And as a testament to how much of a thot she was in BFDI, she decided to sleep in one of the homeowners' beds.

When she reached the second story, Flowerlocks saw three bedrooms. She went in the first one. It didn't really have a bed. It just had a fireproof metal box in the center. But Flower doesn't really have that much common sense, so she tried to sleep on it anyway.

"Ow!" Flowerlocks said, "this bed is too hard!"

That's because it's not really a bed...

"Oh shut up, narrator!" Flower yelled rather rudely.

Ok geez, fine! Anyway, Flower went into the next room. The room looked very emo, to which Flower scoffed. However, she just wanted to sleep, so she lay down on the coffin shaped bed in the middle of the room. However, as soon as she did, the mattress seemed to collapse under her, causing her to sink into it.

"Oh no!" Flowerlocks yelled, struggling to get out of the mattress before it threatened to pull her into the depths of the underworld. When she finally broke free, she looked at the bed in horror. "Now I know why it's shaped like a coffin," she muttered, "It's too soft, and not in the good way."

Flowerlocks went over to the third room. To her relief, it actually had a real bed and didn't look emo. She went over to the bed and lay in it.

"Nice," Flower sighed, "Not too hard, not too soft, just right..." And with that, she fell asleep.

Meanwhile, little did she know that the owners of the house had just arrived.

"Oh noio!" Bubble exclaimed, looking at the open front door. "Soimeone broike ointo our hoiuse!" (Translation: Oh no! Someone broke into our house!)

"Well, not really, since we didn't even lock the door," Leafy interjected.

"That doesn't matter, Leafy!" Firey said, annoyed, " Someone's in our house." He cautiously stepped inside, with the two other finalists following behind him. Suddenly, he gasped in horror.

"Somebody ate one of my Despacito Doritos!" Firey cried out in anguish. He ran towards his bowl of Doritos, holding it close to his chest. "How could someone do this to my baby!"

Suddenly, there was another gasp. A dark aura started coming from Leafy as she held her bowl of leaves. "Someone's been eating my leaves too."

"Woit, hoild oin! Whoiy are you oiting yoir oiwn koind?" Bubble asked, suddenly. (Translation: Wait, hold on! Why are you eating your own kind?)

Before Leafy could answer, Firey said, "Because she's weird."

"Oh no, Senpai thinks I'm weird," Leafy, who just so happened to be a yandere for Firey, muttered sadly.

Suddenly there was another gasp. "Oh noio! Soimeoine's boin oiting my Yoylecake and they oit it all up!" Bubble said, very sadly. (Translation: Oh no! Someone's been eating my Yoylecake and they ate it all up!)

After the three of them finished mourning their food, they went over to the closet. Also, the author was tired of having to write Bubble's accent, so she used her storytelling powers to make Bubble have a normal accent.

"Someone's been wearing my outfit!" Firey gasped.

One again, a dark aura surrounded Leafy as she said, "Someone's been wearing my outfit too."

"Leafy, why are you so emo? I thought this story took place during BFDI, not BFDIA/IDFB!" Firey asked curiously.

"Because I'm the author's knifu waifu," Leafy replies.

Suddenly, there was a wail and the two turned around to see Bubble. "Someone's been wearing my outfit and they're still wearing it!" Bubble cried.

Firey sighed. "Look, we've all had a rough day. Let's just go to bed." With that, the trio headed upstairs, where, unbeknownst to them, Flowerlocks was still sleeping.

"Wait," Firey said, feeling very annoyed. "Someone's been sleeping in my bed!"

"Um, Firey...?" Bubble asked, looking over at his "bed". "Are you sure that's a bed?"

Firey sighed. "It's the only fireproof bed I can find. Beggars can't be choosers, after all. Besides, I've gotten used to it..."

"Firey! Bubble! Come here!" Leafy suddenly yelled from the next room. The two of them arrived just in time to see Leafy clenching one of her knives.

"Someone's been sleeping in my bed," Leafy growled, as a shadow covered her eyes.

Terrified, Bubble made a little squeak and ran out of the room, leaving Firey to deal with Leafy. He nervously put his hands up defensively and said, "Leafy, please, put that knife down."

Leafy paused, looking from the knife in her hands, then to Firey, and then back to the knife. Finally, she put the knife back in her knife rack. "Okay," she said solemnly.

"Leafy! Firey!" Bubble's voice called out. Firey and Leafy both ran to Bubble's room.

"Someone's been sleeping in my bed and they're still in it!"

As Bubble cried, both Firey and Leafy set their gazed upon Flowerlocks, the intruder. Firey was planning on burning her and Leafy was planning on stabbing her. Just then, Flowerlocks started to wake up.

"Wha- Huh?" As Flowerlocks lazily blinked her eyes open, she took in the site of Bubble crying, along with the sight of Firey and Leafy glaring at her, their eyes twitching. "Oh crap," was all she could say before she bounced up and jumped out the window. She was still metal from the Yoylecake, so she didn't die. And she started running far far away from the cottage, having learned her lesson about being an unwanted guest.

She also still had Bubble's dress but don't worry, Leafy bought Bubble a new dress with all the money she made as an assassin- I mean what?

And they all lived happily ever after.

The End.

[gh0stswh0re]

late night thots 😏:

it's 3am rn, i'm still writing that fic but since it's so heavy on domestic stuff, i was thinking about wedding stuff with ghost.

he's definitely the type of guy that doesn't know anything about jewelry and ring sizes, but he wouldn't hesitate going around asking people. trying his hardest to be all sneaky and mysterious, and to not drop too many hints but legit everyone would see right through him.

but he'd definitely pick the prettiest ring to ever exist. he'd engrave his name inside it - ever heard that quote "i'll have my name burning on your skin for days"? yeah, that's his intention 100%. so no matter what happened, no matter whatever would get between the two of you - he could always remember giving you this little reminder of his love - of the promise he made to you; that he'd always make it back home to you.

he would start carrying a small notebook with him, and quickly scribbling something in randomly - hiding it before anyone could even catch a glimpse of what he was writing down. sometimes you'd caught him staring at you, sitting on the kitchen floor. he'd write a few words down before he looked up to you again - carelessly throwing the notebook away, before he cupped your face in his hands, pulling you down into the sweet embrace of his lips. other times, he'd do it when he was away from you, when he was supposed to be discussing the very important details of the next assigned mission - he'd stand in the corner, not paying any attention to the rest of his group or literally anything but his little project book. soap would start cracking jokes at him, but simon wouldn't even bother giving him the usual "cut the bs, sergeant" death glare. he was too busy trying his damn hardest to write down at least half decent, somewhat memorable vows or whatever you wanna call it - whatever it is, it was never really his thing but he's trying his hardest - for you. the thing is - he'd make up all these scenarios in his mind - running over each one, rethinking every single part of it, and when he'd actually propose to you, he'd just mumble a quick "wanna marry me?" not even giving you enough time to process his words, he'd pull you into a kiss - he knew the chances of rejection were slim, but it was never impossible and he just couldn't bare the thought of hearing it. when you'd pull away from the kiss his hands would be trembling, his entire body shaking - with anticipation mixed with fear, with tinniest bits of the most utter joy he's ever felt. the quiet whisper of your voice - "yesyesyesyes" - ringing in his ears - just about the sweetest thing he's ever heard. oh, and he'd give you that notebook.

he'd definitely buy you flowers each and every opportunity he'd get. he'd never let the old ones wither before replacing them with a fresh bouquet. he would also make a habit of buying you a different kind each time - unless it was roses - he would dare to buy you those more than once. after he'd seen how your eyes lit up that one time when he first gave you a single red rose - he picked it during a mission, tugging it underneath his jacket, which made it wilt hours before he finally gave it to you - awkwardly stretching out his arm towards you, "it reminded me of you" - what a cliche fucking thing to say.

[king-bee-sting]

can i get your thots on ❣️💓😆🎉 for zhongli & kaeya? that list is so cute djhfskd. also im glad you're having fun at pride, thats so cool !!

Emoji Prompts: ❣️💓😆🎉 (Kaeya&Zhongli)

Kaeya:

❣️ What makes them blush/gets their heart pounding?

Whenever you innocently react to whatever innuendo he's made. Honestly, the way you laugh at what he's said and just look at him with those shining eyes of yours, he can't help but get warm. You've had your fair of troubles and challenges, yet so untouched by the wear and tear of life at the same time. To have someone so pure by his side always manages to get his pulse to go up.

💓 How do they act when they realize they’re in love/have a crush?

He gets a lot more direct with his approach. He's very open with his feelings for you. Once he figures out the way he feels towards you, he'll immediately and seriously ask you out. Whether or not you think he's joking is up to you.

😆 How do they make their s/o laugh?

Gossip. Harmless gossip he makes always makes you laugh. You'll be walking through Mondstadt and he'll lean in close to your ear andmention how Miss Nancy, the local granny, totally smuggled some of her flowers into the city. So illegal. How scandelous. Or he'll just indirectly and/or directly insult his adoptive brother. How he whole asses his insults always make you laugh in both amusement and shock.

🎉 Are they a fan of nicknames? Do they prefer cutesy, traditional or silly ones?

Honestly, does this man even know your name? All these nicknames are suspicious. Those prissy nicknames are his signature move. Darling, dearest, my love, and doll are all fair game with him.

Zhongli:

❣️ What makes them blush/gets their heart pounding?

Knowledge. Whenever his partner ever exposes just how deep their intellect goes, he gets impressed, proud, and swoons all at the same time. And if it's a topic you're passionate about, the way your face lights up and how you spew out facts left and right always get his blood pumping. You look so happy when talking about it, he can't help but get happy too.

💓 How do they act when they realize they’re in love/have a crush?

He's been around for a very long time. No doubt he's adapted the ability to have incredible control over his actions. The way he shows his pining affections is subtle. You'll find that you'll have a cup of tea prepared for you when you arrive, items of convenience always in his possession just when you need it, even gifts handed to you. He just saw something in a vendor while taking a walk and miraculously happened to have enough mora on hand. No biggie. Yes biggie

😆 How do they make their s/o laugh?

Very dry humor. He'll seemingly start one of his stories but then end up making an awful dad joke. But the cringe makes you laugh. And the sheer look of pride on his face when you laugh only makes you laugh harder.

🎉 Are they a fan of nicknames? Do they prefer cutesy, traditional or silly ones?

He doesn't use them often, really only uses them in privacy as well. And gentleman and nonbino's this man's country is seeping with tradition. He's going to pull out all the show stoppers. Dear, darling, love, all of em. However, Zhongli does enjoy privacy and rarely uses them in public. However, he enjoys your name above all and prefers that most of the time.

[weird-dere-fics]

No thoughts.

Only ✨thots✨ about Yukihira Soma on top of me, staring deep into my soul with those golden orbs of his as he pistons in and out of me.

Telling me how much he loves me and how I make him feel. Caressing my body as if I was the most beautiful flower he had ever seen. Stealing my breath away in a kiss before smiling down at me softly as sweat runs down his temple.

Dreaming about how well he would fill me up, how he would hold me as he gets closer and closer to the edge of rapture, how my toes would curl as I brace myself with him.

Imagining the way he would growl when I whine his name, begging, pleading with him to make me cream, to fill me with his own. Hearing him chuckle knowingly once it’s all over, wiping the drool that spilled from my lips as I clenched around him.

Sighing peacefully in the afterglow as he rests his forehead against mine, running his hands up and down my arms as he stays one with me, making sure nothing spills out.

Turning onto our sides and falling asleep still connected, cuddling into unconsciousness.

Waking up later to shower together, joking and playing all the while. Smiling and giggling as we change out the sheets and go to the kitchen to cook something together.

[shorkbrian]

Prelude - I need to stop catching sight of poetry on my explore page lol. This is entirely self-indulgent and very specific cause I’m rotting thru life rn and so if u dislike I understand lol. When I was in the hospital this last time it sucked rlly bad and like the awful horny degenerate I was I kept thinking abt Kirishima and soft sweet Sugawara idk lol

Pairing - Death god Kirishima x Reader

Warnings - Suicide, suicide attempt, no smut. Death. Drunk Drivers. Yandere but only a little bit and cause I can’t voluntarily accept love it has to be forced bc I cannot handle the thot of someone who is sane loving me bc there is no freaking way lol

Music - https://open.spotify.com/track/5Iy1wdO0tMaHwKnfFYtlel?si=-vqod-W6SHia8ui2Hdl_9g 

Adding this one bc it’s like one of my favorites and I wish god I wish and I hope that this year is better than the last amen lol also there’s nothing more sad to me than someone pleading and begging and crying for the year to treat you nicely like bitch u okay? no. the answer is no.

https://open.spotify.com/track/0xRO7EKgYKVB8zKIoiXMDD?si=HYBaiBzjRGmQwfCHgnTUxA

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“It hurts.” You had told him, as the entity sat at the end of your hospital bed.

He often sank heavily onto the nearest surface, as if his bones ached with the weight of his body. You saw him often during those first few days in the hospital, days spent puking up pills, every move you made monitored, doctors and nurses scolding you about the severity of your actions.

You didn’t think they could see the hulking figure that comforted you.

“I”ve heard that it’s supposed to.” The red god of death would think aloud.

“I don’t want it then.” Tears upon your cheeks, soft, misty. “Take it.”

“Your life?” A nod would affirm his question, but the red god would shake his head. “I am no thief. Not a hunter, simply a gatherer of souls. I won’t take what doesn’t belong to me.”

“Then it’s yours, have my life. A gift, from me to you. Don’t make me live it any longer…..”

His sadness would show in his eyes.

But the soul-crushing hugs that were provided were admittedly a tiny bit nice.

“You’re far too sweet for your own good. I’ll receive your life when the time is right, not before.”

“But I don’t want it!” You sobbed into his shoulder, the god seeming to be your only friend in the world.

Hands stroked along your back, soft shushing sounds as the god attempted to soothe you in the ways he knew how. Soft touches, kind truths. “Many don’t.  But it happens - life happens anyways. All you can do is find the things that make it less painful.”

“That’s not enough, it still hurts. I can’t stand it.” The sobs wracking your body didn’t stop the entity from holding you.

“I know, and I’m sorry.”

——

He’s patient and kind.

Surprising for a god who’s work involves collecting souls as if they were taxes. A job that should be bitter and tiresome, but the entity has infinite softness resting inside of him.

He walks with you, as you get “better“.

You watch him stop to marvel at flowers, to study the way dew drips from trees in little drops, eyes wide and wondering as crows startle from their perches and take off with noisy weeping.

This courtyard is drab and brown, a prison. Safe.

Yet the god of death treats the space gently, with respect. He thanks the old walls for standing, the worn stones beneath your feet. Their service is noted and appreciated. He’s so tender it almost makes you sick.

But you come to realize that he’s simply allowing himself to be vulnerable, to experience the earth and the beings in it.

For as soon as one recognizes vulnerability, which is so different from weakness or tragedy, one experiences a sense of tenderness. Without tenderness, pleasure means nothing. You need only look at the animals to see the truth of that. It is gentleness that distinguishes their playing from the actions they constantly take to ensure their survival.

You ask why he walks with you, why he is so focused on seeing you get “better“.

A soft smile, a meeting of eyes. “There is an end to your pain, sometime and somewhere. It’s most likely not here, not in this place at least-“ and he looks around, at the cold walls, the other sick patients, the staff. All human.

“-It will come. But for now, it’s enough to try and seek it out ourselves.”

You must look more sick than you really are, talking to thin air like that.

——-

Once you return home, the red god writes you letters.

He’s an old soul, an old god. You’re sure if you asked, he’d be able to recount the very first souls he reaped, a man and a woman, sinful and sweet but in love.

The letters help you get out of bed. What new stories or little quips the god has written pique your curiosity, even when you don’t want to move, don’t want to be awake or alive.

He tells you stories about certain souls, how each one is infinitely interesting, how they all interconnect.  How some of them struggle against him, however fruitlessly. But he’s not the one who brought about their death, he’s there to comfort and guide.

Other souls, (“souls like yours” he writes) welcome him, run to his arms like a long lost lover. Their death was terrifying by their own hand, and it hurt. He can’t take away that pain, those memories. The red god says he wishes those souls find peace wherever he must take them afterwards, or at least, some form of contentment.

“The meaning of life is to give life meaning, at least, that’s what seems to be the consensus.” You rip off that part of the letter, hang it on your wall by your bed.  The other letters you keep in your nightstand, content with the knowledge that there are souls out there like you

It’s hard work, creating meaning for yourself.

The red god takes to visiting you between each letter, says he misses you, the way your soul cries. He tells you that he wishes he could help you quiet it, quiet that raging, terrible storm that hurls you about.

You make him cookies - it’s the only way you know how to say thank you. It’s what your mother taught you, so it may not be right, but the god eats them nonetheless. He likes it when you eat with him, feeding you bites from his cookie, wiping chocolate off of your nose, making you laugh with stupid jokes and a mouth stuffed full of cookies.

Even if some of them are too crunchy, or others too soft, all of them imperfect.

Imperfection is the essence of humanity, he tells you, and it’s more fun eating each cookie with the thought that you’re devouring your imperfections, making yourself whole again, filling up the empty spaces in your soul.

——

Eventually, the crawl back to your feet, rise with the unsteadiness of a toddler. You fall frequently, cry often, but you’re able to get up and try again.

Some days you need to bury yourself in sadness, let yourself feel and feel and hurt. Other days are not so bad, but still tinged  with regret and fear and sadness.

The red god is by your side, gives you something to cling to when you waver.

He is always there.

He will be there when you meet your end.

The god is in no hurry.

You question why he wastes his time on you, hours spent reassuring you, talking to you, tucking you in your bed and leaving glasses of water on your nightstand before taking his leave.

Home is a feeling, not a place. Home is with you - that’s what he tells you. You take his breath away, even though he might not even need to breath because he’s the god of death. HIs thoughts muddle and he trips over his feet and can’t help himself from wanting to hold you.

You learn that even gods yearn for home.

He’s capable of feelings and emotions just like any other human. He may be wiser, and older, able to draw from experience and a deep well of wisdom. But he still feels, and feels deeply.

Just as he gives the earth around him such reverence, he extends that same  attitude when he deals with you.

“Everything I see reminds me of you. When I wake and the sun creeps over the mountains, hesitant, it reminds me of the way that you rise - haltingly, yet it happens nonetheless. The flowers in the field that so steadily grow, you’re like ground they take root in, soft and unstable yet still tenable with the potential for growth. I don’t know, I haven’t exactly held such closeness with a human-“

He trails off, but you think you understand.

Maybe you don’t. It’s hard to relate to a god.

——

A confession occurs, and you’re surprised to learn that the blood-red god of death is in love.

“What did my hands do before they held yours? What did my heart do without all of this love? I can’t hold enough of you, I carry such love for you in my heart.”

With a frail, hopeless human nonetheless.

You don’t know what to tell him, how to explain that you can barely take care of yourself right now, meet your own needs.

But the red god seems to know, seems to understand the way your breath hitches and your eyes widen. One more hug, squeezed tight to his chest while he promises nothing has to change.

Things do change, even if you wish them not to. The world doesn’t bow to your whims, nor the death-god’s.

Innocent touches, his hand on your shoulder, patting your head, offering to rub out the tension in your back after you’ve had a crushing day - they don’t feel so innocent anymore.

The constant survellience still seemed kind, and you knew it was with your best intentions in mind that the god hovered so close, invading every aspect of your life.

But a creeping tendril of unease took hold, and you worried.

Everywhere you turned, he would be there, ready to support you, walk you through anything you wished.

Again, you questioned his commitment. Why? Why you?

“I can’t explain how fond of you I’ve grown. How heat blossomed in my chest as we grew closer. There’s infinite things I wish to say to you, ways for me to express my-my love, but I’ll just let you live.”

He neither killed you nor let you live.

Was it frightening? Maybe. But you had nothing to really live for, lost, searching for your own meaning in a big big world, floundering in an endless sea of sadness and suffering. You weren’t afraid of anything the god could, or would, do to you.

Until you woke up, not knowing where you were, in pitch black.

Arms encircling your shoulders, a soft body beneath your own, holding you tightly, a hand caressing your cheek.

A sun rose, on a strange new land, on the blood-red god gazing at you.

“There seemed to be so much more time for you. But accidents happen, Drivers drink and hearts give out. I was expecting you to grow old, for us to live and love like that, see how you grew through life.”

He looked around this new world, and you vaguely remember what had come before.  A walk along the sidewalk, blaring horns, impact, blood.

“But this will be just as nice. You can stay here with me now. Life can’t cause you anymore pain.”

You don’t feel comforted by those words.  There’s no way for you to know whether this new world would be better than the one you left behind.

[badwitchcoven]

Okay so thots on the newest episodes below, beware spoilers yada yada

We open on Belos and the Collector and wow, it seems their relationship is going through some stress as the Day of Unity approaches. The Collector is impatient to be freed and it seems like Belos could actually do so any time he wants, he’s just waiting until after the Draining Spell. It’s interesting since it frames their partnership as less both of them wanting the Day of Unity since that’d free the Collector as well as kill the witches, but instead Belos holding the Collector’s freedom over their head so they’ll work with him. Also a confirmation that Belos won’t make another Grimwalker until Hunter is killed so that’s interesting.

HAH Darius is suffering. He’s a dignified, appearance-conscious man surrounded by dorks, there is no escape from the CATs and their team cheer *hiss*

Luz’s palisman is an egg which is both thematically suitable and makes me need to chew on something like a rabid dog because why I was joking when I said what if we didn’t learn Luz’s palisman! Luz’s new outfit is great though, she’s really grown up so much and I love the ponytail.

Eda was so sweet to her kids, assuring them that things will be fine. And Luz making Raine promise to protect Eda is just– ugh, I love them they’re such a family. The way she calls them Luz the Human and King the Titan, it’s just such a subtle way she sort of reinforces that she loves them and the ways they’re different from everyone else on the Boiling Isles. And despite all the assurances King especially is still scared this is goodbye because he’s still just a kid as the adults leave the kids behind to infiltrate the palace to stop the Day of Unity.

Also the plan, the plan. Eda’s going to take on a coven sigil to replace Raine so her curse fucks with the spell and while as she notes it doesn’t matter that much practically speaking since her curse isn’t going away it’s still... it’s still such a violation of her bodily autonomy and her values and an insult to her as a Wild Witch which is a title she wears with pride, it’s just a huge sacrifice for her to make. Raine’s expression as Steve gives Eda the brand is exactly how I was feeling and you can tell Raine knows how horrible this is. I can now understand why they were so firm on not getting Eda involved with the plan.

Anyway, Luz and King head off to rescue Amity and meet Hunter, Willow and Gus. First of all, love the new looks (especially Willow) and second of all apparently Darius contacted them? Which means Darius had a way to contact Hunter? I have no idea how this happened. But it’s really nice to see how far they’ve all come and how well they work together.

So with Amity apparently she and her siblings tried to convince their mom and got grounded for it which makes sense for them to do while the other Hexside students do their own thing to prepare, they need to get rid of the Emperor’s foot soldiers (also the twins tried to burn down the factory which GOOD FOR THEM) and I can see why they’d send Odalia’s children to convince her. And then Luz shows up and it’s so romantic, the backdrop of vines and flowers as the sun sets and– they really went all out and then they kiss it’s so sweet and beautiful and you can tell a lot of heart went into it just by the animation alone.

And then the infiltration to try and convince Alador since he promised to listen to Amity more and then the fight scene and Kikimora who has only become more unhinged since her demotion!!! I actually noticed a sign of the switch Luz had Gus make though I didn’t know what it meant exactly at the time, at one point what looks like Luz does the little flash step Hunter does while dodging. Since she looked at her hands all confused I just assumed carrying around her palisman in her jacket gave her a new power or something but nah, that was Hunter wondering why he looked like Luz all of a sudden. The fight scenes were excellent though, I especially adored Willow going plant monster on everyone and Gus making the entire room go dark, they’ve come so far! Also we learn that Hunter being a traitor is now common knowledge since Kikimora calls him a turncoat.

I like how this is the second time King bonding with an older guy while working through his own issues about his dad has once again resulted in the older guy coming to an important realization. Like those characters who just go around accidentally mentoring children, King is going to son-figure all these people into being better. it’s pretty interesting how King was just chilling with Alador on the swings and then had to go “uh yeah, about that, there’s no after the Day of Unity”

Alador showing up at the last moment like a hero, I’m glad he’s finally on the way to actually doing what he should have been doing all along and protecting and listening to his kids. And then he explains the Day fo Unity to Odalia and it turns out she already knows? I was shocked! A great reveal! Odalia truly believes her family is going to be royalty in the new world (which tbf she doesn’t have the cultural context of what a witch hunter is but still the self-importance!) and it makes me wonder if there are other witches in the know as it were, but were told they’d be spared if they remained loyal. Anyway, Odalia is a monster willing to sacrifice almost everyone on the Boiling Isles for nothing! She sucks, even if her Oracle magic is cool.

Oh but the insight into Alador and Odalia’s relationship is... I hate Odalia even more now. It’s clear that her abuse isn’t limited to her children, working Alador all hours of the day and undermining his decisions and being just as controlling and manipulative of him as she is her children.

Also, the reveal that the Emperor knows about the Cats plan! How? How does he know?! Is there a traitor? Did he find some way to spy on them? There are ways of course but how?! Either way, it’s a good thing Luz is on the way to rescue them or at least alert them that they’ve been had.

[losersiancebeepbleh]

Tbh, I'm not sure whether I want a Flower redemption arc or not. I mean, if she does get a redemption arc, we get to see more Flower x Ruby, but we'd also have to stop with the "Flower is a THOT" jokes.