#flaming hot cheetos literally

[thatonegrimm]

✨100 Follower Special 2k✨

💪 Huntrix vs. You: Training Day

Summary: When the Huntrix girls invite you to a “light training session,” you expect a warm-up. What you get is pain, sweat, and the Saja Boys crashing the scene in various states of panic, snack warfare, and overprotective boyfriend energy. Between chaotic sparring, flaming Cheetos, and bonding by bonfire, one thing becomes clear: surviving training day means earning your place—and maybe a marshmallow to the face.

-----------------------

“This isn’t training,” you panted, bent over with your hands on your knees. “This is hazing. This is murder.”

Mira didn’t even glance up from her squat hold. “Your form’s collapsing. Reset your stance.”

“My legs are collapsing.”

Across the field, Zoey twirled her dagger in one hand while dramatically yelling, “PAIN IS JUST A SIGNAL THAT YOU’RE ALIVE.” She high-fived a tree and turned back toward you. “You’re doing amazing, sweetie!”

You weren’t.

You were absolutely dying.

“Come on,” Rumi said calmly, standing in a perfect warrior pose like this was yoga with violence. Her spirit blade floated behind her, gently pulsing. “This is just the warm-up.”

You whimpered. “The what—”

Zoey launched herself into a roll across the dirt and came up grinning, twigs in her hair. “This is so fun! I haven’t bullied anyone into core strength in months.”

“Focus,” Mira said sharply. “You’re the one who asked for this.”

“No, I jokingly said I wanted to learn how to fight like a badass.”

“And now you will,” Rumi said, brushing off her sleeves. “You’re dating a squad of literal demons. You need to protect yourself. Or at least survive sparring night.”

You didn’t argue—mostly because you didn’t have the lung capacity.

Somewhere in the distance, you heard yelling.

A moment later, the Saja Boys arrived in full dramatic flair.

Jinu was first, running full-speed down the trail, chest heaving. “I told you not to trust them!”

“They’re not evil,” you called back weakly.

“No,” he said, pointing at Mira. “But she’s got trauma and blades. That’s a training hazard!”

Mira raised an eyebrow. “Tell that to my success rate.”

Abby arrived behind him, already stretching. “Can I help? I brought protein bars. And ice packs. And—”

“No,” Rumi said smoothly. “This is between us and her.”

Baby arrived with hot cheetos and a GoPro.

Mystery did not arrive. He simply appeared in a nearby shadow and stared at Zoey.

Zoey waved. “Wanna spar later?”

Mystery blinked once.

The Saja Boys gathered in a loose cluster, all varying shades of worried and extremely protective. You stood in the center of the field, sweat-soaked, half-dead, and already regretting every choice that had brought you here.

You straightened slowly, groaning. “Alright. What’s next?”

Mira cracked her knuckles. Rumi’s blade began to glow. Zoey yelled, “SPEED ROUND.”

“Oh god.”

-----------------------

Mira tossed you a wooden practice sword.

You fumbled it. Barely caught it by the hilt.

She didn’t blink. “Good. You’re slower than expected.”

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

Before you could respond with sarcasm, she lunged.

You barely managed to raise the sword in time. The impact rattled your wrists. She moved like lightning—no hesitation, no mercy.

“Form up,” she said, already stepping back. “Use your hips. Tighten your guard.”

“Tighten my— I’m falling apart, Mira!”

Zoey whooped from the sideline. “YES! BATTLE CRY!”

“Focus,” Rumi called.

You couldn’t tell if you were sweating from exertion or terror. Possibly both.

Rumi stood nearby, arms crossed as her spirit blade hovered lazily behind her like it had opinions. She studied your every movement with calm detachment. “Your instincts are good. Don’t second guess.”

“I'm literally guessing everything!”

“You’re improving.”

You weren’t sure if that was encouragement or psychological warfare.

Mira came at you again—this time faster. The impact of her strike knocked your knees loose. You stumbled, hit the ground hard, and wheezed up at the sky like it owed you money.

“Still standing,” Mira said.

“I’m laying down!”

“That counts.”

-----------------------

Across the field, the Saja Boys watched in varying degrees of silent agony.

Abby paced in a circle like a stressed coach. “Should we call timeout? Is there a timeout? I can’t watch her get hit again, bro.”

“She asked to train,” Jinu said, arms crossed but eyes twitching every time Mira swung. “Let her finish the drill.”

“She’s gonna die!” Abby protested.

“She’s not gonna die,” Baby said, filming from the top of a rock. “Probably.”

Mystery appeared silently behind Jinu and whispered, “She just blinked with only one eye. That means brain trauma.”

Jinu cursed. “Okay, that’s it—”

He took a single step forward and instantly froze when Rumi glanced in his direction.

She didn’t move. She didn’t speak. She just looked.

Jinu stepped right back.

Romance arrived late, holding a smoothie. “Why does she look like a war criminal and a gym teacher had a baby?”

“She’s winning,” Baby replied.

Romance watched you get knocked into the grass again.

He winced. “...But at what cost.”

-----------------------

You finally hit the ground for the third time in five minutes. Mira backed off, sword down.

“You need water,” she said.

“I need a new body,” you croaked, rolling onto your side.

Zoey practically skidded over, dropping to her knees beside you and pressing her face close. “You’re doing so good! You haven’t thrown up or passed out or cried blood yet!”

You blinked at her. “Are those your metrics?!”

“Also fashion,” she said, adjusting your ponytail. “But that’s a separate workshop.”

Rumi walked over with a towel and a bottle of water. “You made it through the warm-up.”

“That was the warm-”

“Let’s rest. Then we’ll do live sparring.”

You groaned.

Behind her, the boys looked ready to riot.

Rumi turned slightly. “They can join if they want.”

Five distinct male voices: “Nope.”

You squinted. “What, scared?”

Romance raised an eyebrow. “I don’t fight beautiful people. It’s a personal policy.”

Abby crossed his arms. “I’ll fight if there’s a hug after.”

Jinu muttered something about liability.

Mystery just disappeared again.

-----------------------

Live sparring started with Mira nodding once.

That was your only warning.

You’d barely lifted the sword before she came at you again, curved blade sweeping low. You dodged. You actually dodged.

“Better,” Mira said, and meant it.

Rumi stepped in next, blade humming faintly behind her. She didn’t swing—not yet. Just circled.

“You’re flinching less,” she said, voice calm as ever.

“I’m flinching constantly,” you panted.

“Less.”

Then she lunged.

You weren’t fast enough to block—but you did pivot, managing to duck the blow and slide behind her.

For a moment, the world narrowed. Just you and her.

She turned, not attacking. Watching.

Her voice softened. “You’re stronger than you think.”

You blinked, still catching your breath.

“You don’t have to fight like us,” she continued. “But you do deserve to feel like you’re not just waiting to be rescued.”

The words hit harder than any sparring blow.

“I didn’t ask to be protected,” you said, low.

“I know,” she replied. “That’s why you’re still standing.”

Then she came at you again.

-----------------------

Romance stood up. “Okay. That’s enough. She’s gonna pass out and I just got her to moisturize last night.”

“Sit,” Rumi snapped.

He did. Instantly. Muttering something about girlbosses and trauma.

You swung, blocked, and—miracle of miracles—managed to tap Rumi’s shoulder with the hilt of your practice sword.

You gasped. “Did I just—”

“You landed a hit,” she said, lips twitching like it might be a smile. “Barely.”

“I’ll take it.”

Then Zoey sprinted in out of nowhere, yelling “CHAOS ROUND!” and tackled you both into the dirt.

-----------------------

It all escalated very fast after that.

Baby joined in immediately, launching a handful of flaming Cheetos into the air like a battle cry. They caught fire mid-arc—because of course they did—and he shouted, “FOR THE SPICE GODS!” as Mira tackled him mid-snack.

They went down in a blur of limbs and swearing. Abby screamed “NO FRIENDLY FIRE!” and power-lifted both of them out of the blast zone like they weighed nothing. Mira shrieked. Baby kept chewing.

Rumi tried to call for order, only to get a water bottle thrown at her head. (It was empty. Probably.)

Jinu attempted to mediate—arms raised, voice calm, diplomatic instincts activated.

“Let’s all take a breath and—”

He got a dodgeball to the chest so hard he flew back a full meter. That ended the diplomacy.

Romance sat on a bench and live-commentated the entire disaster like it was a runway show.

“Ooh, Abby’s going for the overhead throw—excellent form. Mira's back up—yes, queen, block him with your trauma. Wait, is Baby biting people again—? Incredible.”

And Mystery?

He didn’t join the chaos. Didn’t even flinch when a piece of flaming snack debris landed an inch from his foot. He just appeared at your side—already there, somehow—offering you a cold bottle of water like he’d been waiting for this exact moment. It was open. You hadn’t seen him open it.

“You did well,” he said, his voice low and calm, eyes glowing faintly beneath the curtain of his bangs.

You took the bottle, still breathless, and narrowed your eyes at him.

“Are you proud, or are you plotting something?”

A pause. A slow blink.

“Yes,” he replied.

-----------------------

After the chaos died down and Zoey stopped threatening to bench-press Abby with “girl strength,” the group finally collapsed around a bonfire Abby built with terrifying speed.

You curled up in a blanket, exhausted but buzzing from adrenaline.

Rumi handed you a cup of ginger tea. “You kept up. You didn’t quit. You’re one of us now.”

You smiled faintly. “Is that a compliment or a threat?”

“Yes,” she said.

Romance flopped down beside you, draping a hoodie over your shoulders like it was a cape.

“You look wrecked,” he said sweetly. “It’s hot.”

You leaned on him. “My everything hurts.”

“You should let me kiss it better.”

Jinu threw a marshmallow at his head.

After the chaos died down and Zoey stopped threatening to bench-press Abby with “girl strength,” the group finally collapsed around a bonfire Abby built with terrifying speed.

You curled up in a blanket, exhausted but buzzing from adrenaline. Your muscles trembled from exertion, but there was a strange pride blooming in your chest. You weren’t dead. You hadn’t even cried. Not visibly, anyway.

Rumi handed you a cup of ginger tea, still steaming.

“You kept up. You didn’t quit. You’re one of us now.”

You smiled faintly, voice scratchy from overexertion.

“Is that a compliment or a threat?”

She sipped her own tea without blinking.

“Yes.”

Romance flopped down beside you with theatrical groaning, then gently draped his hoodie over your shoulders like a cape.

“You look wrecked,” he said sweetly. “It’s hot.”

You leaned on him with a quiet groan.

“My everything hurts.”

“You should let me kiss it better.”

Across the fire, Jinu—calm, composed, covered in grass stains—flicked a marshmallow at his head with perfect accuracy. It hit Romance squarely in the forehead and stuck.

“HEY!” Romance yelped, flailing slightly. “You nearly gave me a concussion!”

“Behavior,” Jinu said flatly, not looking up from tending the flames.

Zoey wheezed, clutching her stomach as she fell off the log. Mira, cool as ever, silently confiscated the entire bag of marshmallows. Abby was already roasting three of them on a long stick, humming what sounded like a workout remix of a lullaby.

Then Mystery appeared beside you again, as if summoned by the smoke. He didn’t say anything—just dropped a snack-sized bag of your favorite chips into your lap without fanfare.

“You didn’t die,” he said mildly, almost like praise. “Well done.”

You smiled, finally relaxing into the soft sprawl of bodies and blankets and flickering warmth. Someone passed around roasted marshmallows. Someone else was arguing about who had the best footwork during the chaos tackle.

And you? You weren’t just enduring anymore.

In that moment, in that circle of chaos gremlins and battle queens and overprotective demon boys, you belonged.

-----------------------

A/N: no hunters, demons, or cheetos were harmed in the making of this training montage. reader’s pride, however, is in critical condition.

M-List

Taglist: @honey-and-sweetdreams @lyunsafebubble

[kdh-tally]

Saja Boys Food Preferences

Prompt : Saja Boys Try Human Food for Real (comment from @mythosmaiden)

Author's Note : The order was randomized i promise! Stay till the end for a short Bonus ;D Also I've noticed (i copy my work from a google doc into tumblr) a lot of my formatting changes (specifically indents :( )

Romance-Saja: 

A sugar fiend

A sugar demon

Sugar

I do think he would have the BIGGEST sweet tooth out of all the Boys.

Would it be a stretch if I said that the “Soda Pop” song was influenced by him?

Imagine (when he’s still a demon) him being so oddly passionate about energy and brightness in human songs

Maybe it’s because it was something he never got to experience…

Anyways!

At first, it started slow. 

He would definitely have tried chocolate as it fits with his whole romantic concept but then it becomes a craving he needs to fulfill everyday.

He would steal some of Mira’s food from her fan mail whenever he could and only become more obsessed.

But then someone handed him a crème brûlée (yk cause it’s french? and France is the city of love? And Love = Romance?) at a fan event, and it was over for everyone.

The type to have an organized snack drawer of his favourite sweets.

You have the candy in one drawer, the snacks in another and then a whole other section for chocolate.

At this point it isn’t even a snack drawer, it's a whole damn closet.

“This must be what heaven tastes like~” he hums, walking to the dorms with Mira and Abby

“Romance, that’s literally just sugar and fat.”

“Exactly.”

Fans now have photos of him sneaking off to cafés in full disguise. 

There’s footage of a mysterious man inhaling cupcakes at a bakery in Seoul. 

Fans know it’s him and they’re right but he denies it anyway.

He tries to get the others hooked so he doesn’t feel alone but they have their own addictions.

“Come on Mystery, just try the strawberry cheesecake. Just a bite.” he tries to feed him.

“I said no.”

“I always knew you hated me” 

Baby-Saja :

He’s already made a name for himself.

His tastebuds are comparable to Bakugou’s from MHA.

High tolerance to spice.

As seen in the movie this guy was HAPPILY downing a bottle of hot-sauce. 

He was literally kicking his feet. (TimeStamp on Netflix - 1:10:16)

As a result of this, he must add spice or hot sauce to anything.

It sounds weird to others but since he was a demon his taste buds are haywired and don’t work like they’re supposed to.

I imagine him on live eating icecream or something and he gets comments like “What flavour is that?”

Bro will deadass look into the camera and say “Jalapeno”

Who in the world made Jalapeno Icecream and why on earth is bro eating it???

In one of my past posts I mentioned that he would share his snacks with Zoey.

Zoey probably has a decently high spice tolerance (thanks to Mira) but it is NOTHING compared to Baby’s.

“You said these were flaming hot cheetos!” she whines as she hurriedly drinks a tall glass of ice cold water.

“Yea,” Baby shrugged, tossing a few more into his mouth. “They’re flaming hot” he pulls out a cheeto that is literally on fire.

Mira and Baby would have competitions

In the airplane scene, Mira’s ramen says Spice Queen so I heavily believe she loves spiciness as well.

Her tolerance isn’t as high as babies but she will go up against him solely out of spite.

“Are your taste buds even real?” Jinu would ask, watching him top raw chili peppers with habanero flakes. “They are. They’re just stronger than your whole bloodline.” “K.”

One day on tour he was forced to try some average cookies and almost turned back into a demon because of how bland it was.

He has a shelf in the company kitchen labeled. “DO NOT TOUCH. BABY’S FIREPANTRY.” The only person allowed to look through it is Mira because he respects her commitment.

Mystery-Saja :

He would act like he didn’t care about food at first.

Would side eye Romance for trying to feed him sweets and watch Baby warily as he basically burns his tongue off.

Though most of the demon powers faded, he still doesn’t need food to really survive. 

Maybe they only have to eat like once a month or something before they begin starving.

Anyways

He ends up learning everything through Zoey

I wouldn’t say he cares for one specific food but more so food from a specific culture. 

Said culture being american food style foods.

Burgers, Fries, Fried Chicken (gnarly), Tacos, Cheese Fries, Steak.

Big, messy and more or less very VERY unhealthy.

He’ll still act like he doesn’t care about food. He claims he only eats to survive. 

Catch this man in the kitchen at midnight microwaving leftover pulled pork Zoey brought from some food place downtown.

“I thought you didn’t like barbecue.”

“I don’t.” His chewing is the only sound in the room “...It’s fine I guess.”

Zoey smirks. He blushes. She walks away before he can defend himself.

He now goes to Zoey for food now because she always seems to know the best places to eat nearby.

“Hey! I found this place that sells suuuuper good Philly cheesesteak. Taste it and tell me if it’s good.”

“For what?”

“Is it a crime to want to share this experience with my darling coworker?”

He has no response to that and stuffs the food into his mouth.

Heaven.

He can be found watching long tutorials on how to make a Mexican packed Burrito bowl from scratch. 

No one questions it..

Abby-Saja :

The least picky

Somehow the most willing to try absolutely everything, no matter how strange.

The type to try Balut (developing fertilized duck) or Casu Marzu (maggot cheese)

Doesn’t necessarily care for food but wants to enjoy the human experience so he tries everything.

Fried crickets? He says they taste like chicken.

Boiled frog legs? He says they taste like Swamp style chicken.

Balut? Crunchy surprise chicken.

Notice the pattern?

Mira would dare him to try a Durian and at first he’s against it. 

This honestly comes as a surprise cause he hasn’t minded all the other things

It was the odour that put him off though,

“It smells like toxic sewage” he’d complain before trying it.

He loves it.

He says its sweet and rich and creamy.

Mira is watching this in disgust btw.

He’d have a fan from Thailand deliver him a suitcase of dried insects to try out.

He thanks them profusely 

Of course this confuses everyone. 

He has a whole list ranging between sweet, savoury and down right horrid (but still somehow good?)

He’d spend days trying out each insect and rating them, loyally updating fans on his discovery.

“This reminds me of peanut butter” he’d say while eating out of a bag of crickets.

The group is heavily disturbed. 

“Why do you do this?” Mystery eyes him while eating out of his own bag of caramelized pop-corn.

“Protein.”

“You don’t need to work out?”

“Spiritual protein.”

“You’re a demon??”

“Demonic protein”

“What does that even mean—”

He is now the food vlogger in the Saja Boys.

Seems like the type to do a mukbang but not because of the asmr. Really just because he knows his fans want to see just how far he’ll go with his food.

There are compilation reels of his chaotic reviews.

Some of them feature Zoey cause she’s the least bothered.

Jinu-Saja :

Seeing as he was human before, he seems like the type to cling onto the food from his past life.

A traditionalist in the culinary sense.

Maybe cause eating traditional food reminds him of what he could have had with his mom and sister, before everything went wrong. 

Or maybe not 🤷

“Why are we eating scorpion skewers when there’s rice and kimchi in the fridge?”

“Because the scorpions were on sale, Jinu,” Abby says, chewing.

After learning how money worked in the human world the boys either became shopaholics (Romance and Baby) or very frugal (Abby and maybe Mystery).

He tries to explain and introduce the boys to korean staples

Kimchi-jjigae, Tteokbokki, Bibimbap, Bulgogi, Jjajangmyeon, etc.

The boys do not get it

The girls do.

He turns into a male wife for Huntr/x. Cooking for them everyday just so he can see SOMEONE appreciate the traditional food.

He didn’t know how to cook at first. As we know from the movie, he was served food and never seemed to have to make it himself.

However I can see him forcing himself to learn how to do it. Kinda like to take his past back in a way. Maybe make his mom proud.

To Jinu it isn’t just food. It’s control. It's the ability to create something and call it his own.

It’s the first time in 400 years that he could put something into the world that didn’t cause destruction. 

Rumi would find him heating up and plating Banchan in the middle of the night. She’d jump up to sit on the counter beside him, just watching.

“Need help?” she’d offer but he’d shake his head

He enjoys the peace that comes with reviving memories. Memories he actually enjoys. 

Now when he cooks he doesn’t see the castle life he greedily enjoyed, but instead a group of his closest friends fighting over food.

Mira -> “This is almost as good as my grandma’s…”

Jinu -> “Really 🥺?”

BONUS : Huntr/x

Zoey : The honorary food guide, bringing random snacks for Mystery (and the others i guess) to try. Also loves snacks

“Here. This one’s American BBQ chips. It’s mid.”

“I found you some boiled snails Abby!!!”

“We’re out of hot sauceeee :(“ 

Mira : The spice queen. 

Not as talented as Baby but is the closest second.

Often borrows the least spiciest food she can find in Baby’s stash.

She will however, eat from Mystery’s snack closet though.

“It’s alright I guess,” she scoffs as she eats another chocolate covered strawberry.

Rumi : The picky eater. She judges everything.

Well everything except Jinu’s cooking

“The texture’s all wrong,” she grumbles while forcing a piece of kimchi down her throat.

“It’s just pickled cabbage Rumi,” Jinu would point out

“It’s gross it what it is”

“You don't like it? 🙁” 

“Jinu no…..”

[myunghology]

VIVID BAD SQUAD — with a girl crush! ( fem. reader if you couldn't tell, reader is mentioned to be known all over the school / aka. pretty popular due to their looks and smartsss! the reader in an and akito's sections are the same, but the one's in kohane and toya's aren't. )

i. kohane azusawa — you were classmates in miyamasuzaka. definitely left a lasting impression on her during the first day of school, blushed from how you approached her immediately despite not knowing her, too. lunch buddies!! feels bad for your friends since you've basically left them all alone to fend for themselves to be with her TT. but she's sooo thankful you're there, you may or can be a bit mean to people who try to talk shit about her for being shy, but that's just for her own good. it's so obvious to everyone that you love her so much but kohane herself can't see it. these lesbians bro... good for them. good for them

ii. you definitely had beef with akito when you two first met alongside with an. you probably still do until now, you really don't get along. to the point you've almost gotten into a physical fight with him just to defend kohane. whenever kohane goes "well, akito-kun said..—" you and an both cut her off before she even completes her sentence, saying, "SO WHAT?!" akito calls you both, 'kohane glazers'. as a joke, don't worry. please don't hurt him anyway, toya personally thinks he deserves it. starts giggling to herself once she finds out you've already paid for her coffee, right after complaining that you shouldn't have, by the way.

iii. has a full on gay panic when she sees you. which is every single freaking day because you're classmates.. adores how you can be so confident about yourself and not be so arrogant at the same time. kohane's literally your princess, which is your nickname for her on your phone's contact list! she needs saving because she literally can't take eyes off you in class, and whenever you catch her looking at you, you just respond with a smirk on your face. and she DIESSSS. definitely has a playlist dedicated for you with the main song being flaming hot cheetos by clairo.

i. an shiraishi — her soul literally LEFT her body the first day she saw that you two were classmates. this girl had wanted to befriend you so bad since forever, but couldn't get the actual chance to because so much people were already swarming around you EVERY. TIME. she saw you. it made her eye twitch, best believe akito and mizuki teased her for it in their first year. now that they're classmates in their second year (well not mizuki) and with you nonetheless, oh brother.. akito occasionally gets a head smack by a book from an whenever he says you aren't all that, and he shuts up immediately.

ii. definitely tried convincing your homeroom teacher for you guys to be deskmates. if it doesn't work.. well! let's just say she is yanking pulling your current one out of their desk just to sit beside you. just kidding. maybe not. only if it's akito. and all of your classmates are like she wants that damn cookie so bad wtf.. and if that doesn't work part 2, then she WILL be clinging onto you during recess and lunch, let's face it, u're never gonna get rid of her <33 definitely giggles to herself and tells kohane all about her experiences through chat with you during those free moments in class. maybe even misclicks and sends it to the vbs gc and toya seens and replies with a 'that's nice, shiraishi".

iii. everytime this girl gets flustered i guarantee you she literally hits the person right next to her. she slaps and hides behind the person and starts giggling like a little kid before jumping around, as long as you aren't there. is a "[name] can you help me with this?" type of person for attention. but she actually does need help, let's be honest. in special times, you're actually the one who initiates helping her <3 as long as you aren't busy, then you're good!

i. akito shinonome — i smell jalosi (jealousy). 50% because you're literally perfect and 50% because of how much people are hogging your attention. THIS GUY DOESN'T EVEN KNOW if he loves you or if he fucking hates you. akito literally starts getting red once you offer help when you see him struggling in math or english. you definitely helped him with his english essay but didn't wanna show you because he made it about you. ughhhh twerp. he's so weak when he's in love someone kill him. EXECUTE THIS GUY NEOWWWW. nene definitely accidentally found out because she was arranging papers to give it to the teacher and was like.. "huh this is familiar.. WAIT..."

ii. unconsciously buys you lunch. this guy probably bought you cup noodles and a sandwich before because you were too busy to eat. he'll grumble and complain under his breath about why the teachers are bugging you so much to the point that you can't even eat lunch dude. you repay him by giving him free english lessons but it usually doesn't work because he spends most of it's time by just staring at you.. bro's cooked if you give him a practice assessment. he does go into grinding mode once you get mad at him for paying attention.. even toya thanks you personally for that bruh

iii. literally excuses you once he notices you get uncomfortable from all the crowds. "oi, she's busy. go elsewhere." and just drags you out. he's realllyyy helpful too. you don't even have to ask, because he's already carrying all of the binders that were on your hands just seconds ago. HE DOESN'T EVEN SAY ANYTHING IT'S ANNOYING and it makes you panic whenever you see them GONE as if they fell down without a sound. looks out for you in any possible way he can and you don't even notice?? literally fixes your pens, notebooks, books without you looking when it was just a mess earlier from you stressing and crashing ouuuutttt...

i. toya aoyagi — another one who helps you whenever you need to carry stuff. he is suchhh a sweetheart towards you even though you two are in the same grade. toya is your number one glazer you could do nothing wrong in his eyes bro just doesn't care. you both could be studying together but he gets a slide for looking at you the whole time because he's already covered the topic you're talking about. unlike SOME ginger.. he usually invites you out to lunch together if akito is somewhat busy, and he likes bringing you to the weekend garage as well <3.

ii. instinctively pats your head. brother doesn't even know WHERE he got this habit he just has it. he could cheer you on doing something random with a "nice one!" and when you come back he'll Pat your head. someone who has extra everything in school supplies. literally the classes' own bookstore at this point became what. so obvious that he's rich, the type of lover boy who'd give you his most expensive pen if you ever ask for one. and once you return it he doesn't let ANYONE borrow that pen ever it's crazy. probably also the campus crush along with you but is horribly oblivious. your class is doing his moves for him bro trust it either goes batshit or the opposite.

iii. toya doesn't wanna be mean or anything but mizuki has noticed this about him whenever someone's confessed to him. if ever you're in the same room, the girls confession to him will just come in one ear and exit out the other because he only looks at you whilst doing so. and he feels bad every single time, because how can you be so distracting to the point that he can't even hear his own classmates confession for him. by the time he realizes, the girls body was bowing down right in front of him, handing him a box of chocolates?? like what. the most she'll get from him is a muttered "thank you.." and not even a confirmation if he likes her or not. even though she could already tell from the way he looked at you.. but it would be nothing to be sad about.

@myunghology — kohane listens to clairo, an listens to girl in red, akito listens to iyaz, toya listens to daniel caesar when they're in love trust me bro.

[all444glo]

¡BOYFRIEND MATERIAL!

my headcanons of jared as a boyfriend cause i miss him 💔💔 take my meniscus instead 💔

…anyways

-flaming hot cheetos by clairo is definitely y’all’s song

-you braid his hair, only for him to take out cause it doesn’t “fit” him.

-he tries to be spontaneous but is terrible with keeping surprises. (literally cannot lie for shit)

-“baby, i just want to come pick you up so we can hang out, just bring your clothes…what?? no don’t bring just crocs—“

-meanwhile he’s trying to lure you out so he can take you out of town on a ‘whim’

-you all don’t argue often, but when yall do get into disagreements he will literally just go “you’re right im wrong” and will dead the whole thing

-…which can be a bit problematic but half of the time it’s because yall will forget about the reason y’all are arguing anyways.

-he’s so sweet and always manages to make time for you, and offers to fly you out to every away game, even though you say no almost every time

-90% of your tiktok drafts are him playing on your phone once his dies, many of them him forcing random ranking lists on you

-constantly forces you to play one on one with him despite you complaining everytime

“now Y/N didn’t you tell me you used to play?? why don’t you wanna play me i’m not even that good?”

-when he’s forced to be away for long periods of time he always tries to make it known that he cares for you

-you’ll wake up to your favorite meals being delivered to your job, little gifts on your doorstep, or even love letters in your mailbox

-your family loves him and has slowly started to shift from rooting for your hometown to rooting for the 76ers

-you all constantly watch musicals and you’re starting to think he likes them more than you

-he worships your body, often taking his time focusing on every detail, every curve.

-he constantly tried to find new ways to please you,new ways to make you tic. and boy when he did…he’d abuse it

-but he was still your sweet boy. he never wanted to hurt you, just test your limits

-he’d always check in on you, asking you if you were okay with the pace, or if you were feeling good

-little things to make you feel safe but also drive you crazy as well.

-he wanted to take care of you, you all met in college and even then you were career oriented.

-that’s why he fell for you btw

- you knew good and well you could quit your job any day and be good, but it was your passion.

-you loved that jared never made you choose between him or working, even though it did cause some conflict

i’m out of hcs but i hope yall enjoyed 🦧

[multiheadcanons]

WHAT THE MERCS CONSIDER WONDERFUL WEATHER

scout: scout is at his happiest when he first sees snowfall. and he is at his saddest when he watches winter leave. scout loves the snow. he feels like a kid again, and he acts like one, too. running and diving headfirst into snowbanks, dipping his bare feet in icy cold water. standing outside in a tshirt and shorts, big smile on his face. the snow will have him ready to face the day. he’s okay until the wind starts blowing. then he is immediately ready to go back inside. and his affinity for snow does not translate to rain.

soldier: soldier is an optimal fighter in all weather conditions. but he likes when it’s muddy. this man is a pig. he will strip to his skivvies and go lay in mud. especially if it’s hot outside. he also likes hurling mud balls at the enemy team. it’s funny when they slip on it and fall. and then he’s coming in with the shovel. soldier has one (1) designated mud pit that he is allowed to put water in from the base and roll around in it. the team even turns a blind eye during the summer months, when it’s absolutely wretched outside.

pyro: pyro is only hype for one weather event— rainbows. spring is their favorite season with the amount of precipitation, and the absolute bounty of prismatic light that comes from it. and with the grass seeming so lush after a fresh pour, pyro is incredibly pleased with their surroundings. the rainbow is just the cherry on top of a beautiful picture. they absolutely do not like the fact that the rain is one of the only ways to get a rainbow. it makes their job very hard.

demo: anything that is marginally wet and between 52 and 73 degrees fahrenheit is the optimal weather. you will absolutely see demo outside, enjoying the chilly air. and he likes the air palpable. the kind where you can taste the oxygen around you, when it’s tangy and it hangs thickly on your tongue. where moving through it feels like pushing through brush. he’s out there. he’s living in it. rain or shine, he’s out there, soaking in the moisture of his environment. makes him feel like a fish.

heavy: heavy loves a cold, clear day. not just chilly, cold. no higher than forty degrees fahrenheit. days where the sun feels fake because it's just so cold. cold, clear days that turn into icy, clear nights. sometimes he can convince engineer (and usually they get pyro in on it, too) to start a bonfire, and they'll sit out there in the cold, and drink a beer or two, and stare at the sky. sometimes other members of the team will come out, and toss something in the flame, and sit in the heat for a moment. but it's usually just them three. and they thoroughly enjoy themselves in the ice of the night, artificially warmed by the booze, and thoroughly warmed by the flames before them. they can stay out there until two in the morning before they're willing to put the fire out and return to the base.

engineer: the literal nanosecond that the radios start talking about storms and tornado warnings, you know this country bumpkin hick ass backwater ass flamin-hot-cheetos-neck ass yeeyee down the I-40 ass man is out there, beer in hand. we all know this, right? we know that he’s out there with a camera looking for the formations, right? this man is literally getting blown sideways by the wind. he’s clinging to a porch pole trying to keep himself grounded. and every time the lightning strikes, he’s whooping. until it gets too close. when he was younger, he used to hop in his truck and chase the storms. he’s a little too old, and a little too smart for that now, but he’s certainly not gonna go “shelter in place” either. he can look death in the eyes and come out of it unscathed. he’s not scared.

medic: in the early spring, when you're not quite sure if it can even be called spring yet; he wakes up early enough in the morning, and he walks outside with a cup of coffee, and he stands in the chill of the dawn, and he looks up at the sky, absolutely crystal clear, and he can still see the stars as the sky begins to glow a dim pink... he gets a feeling. a feeling in his knees. and he knows from the feeling in his knees that there will be precipitation. and, in about three hours, he is proven right, as the temperatures plummet, and clouds roll in, and a light mist begins. this dreary, wet, almost muggy if it weren't for the consistent chill running down your spine, miserably dogshit weather... is the doctor's favorite weather to be in. he's wearing just enough layers that he doesn't have to add anything, the misted rain feels good on his skin in the heat of battle. he is, in general, enjoying himself in this weather.

sniper: sniper thoroughly enjoys the dry heat of the summers in new mexico. it's lovely. almost reminds him of home. it is greatly beneficial that sniper has an insane heat tolerance. sniper doesn't start making comments about the heat until the weather is in the triple digits. then he lets out a long sigh, and starts fanning his face with his hat. otherwise, he just starts shedding layers until he feels better. he will not complain if there is any form of a wind blowing, as long as it's consistent. his tolerance for the heat will be even higher if he has wind and some shade. he just loves sitting under a tree on a hot, sunny day. he can fall asleep easily.

spy: it is not often that he gets this kind of weather, but there are days. in the transitions of the wetness of the ground, and the chill of the air, a fog begins to descend. and this fog is thick, and disorienting, and it’s perfect for spy. these are his ideal fighting conditions, hell, his ideal living conditions. in the brisk air, he can simply cloak and disappear in the clouded thicket. and he never seems to be frightened, or nearly as disillusioned as his teammates in the moist grey haze. he moves in silent confidence through the fog. and you just won’t know he’s there until his knife is in your back.

[live-laugh-legolas]

what are the spice tolerances of the fellowship? who snacks on ghost peppers without any reaction and who thinks black pepper is too spicy?

I was literally thinking about this the other day.

The Fellowship’s spice tolerance

Aragorn:

-He’s not great with spice

-He doesn’t get dramatic about it but his mouth is on fire

-The only reason he’s not great with spice is just not having it often

-He spends so much time in the wild; he’s not Sam who refuses to eat unseasoned food even in the middle of nowhere

-He is used to the blandest of bland food

-If he is served spicy food he will power through it because he’s too polite to ask for something else

Legolas:

-I will never give up my hc that he has literal grave mouth

-He will eat anything and be fine

-He might feel a bit of spice if he had a ghost pepper or something

-But he is less bothered by the spice and more just doesn’t get the point

-“why would I eat something that hurts?”

-He prefers to munch on poisonous berries he finds as they all walk that made Boromir have to shit every 15 minutes for a week

Gimli:

-I kinda wanted to say he isn’t good with spice because I could totally see him with the whole physical reaction to spice

-But he probably is the type to add hot sauce to literally everything

-So maybe he still gets real red and his nose runs

-But best believe he’s chowing down and having a great time

-Would risk his life for buffalo wings

Boromir:

-Surprisingly not bothered much

-Maybe not ghost peppers but normal to high levels of spice are fine

-However

-His mouth may be fine but his body is going to explode

-Don’t bother him about an hour later; he’s shitting literal fires of Mount Doom

-Send aid

-Never learns though and will continue to eat spicy food

Frodo

-It’s this one right here

-He’s the one who will munch on ghost peppers casually

-He likes the taste

-A ghost pepper is nothing to him

Sam:

-Not good with spice at all

-He gets all red in the face

-Nose running so much you would think the elvish river horses were coming

-He likes the taste; but he has a very strong reaction

-He would really like Flaming Hot Cheetos but it takes him a week to get through a whole bag

-And yes he’s crying the whole time but he won’t stop

Merry:

-He can tolerate a moderate amount of spice but he doesn’t really like it

-And I mean he doesn’t add spice to anything just for the sake of adding a kick

-He suffers through it a little but he does love Indian style food

-That shit rocks even if his mouth is starting to go numb

Pippin:

-I am indecisive about him

-On one hand I think he’s a sensitive little guy

-But he also loves to eat and won’t let some spice get in his way of a good meal

-So I’m going to rest on he is literally crying from the spice but won’t stop eating it; he’s hungry

-He won’t back down from being challenged to eat a ghost pepper

-Possibly needs medical assistance if he has too much spice

Gandalf:

-Nope

-Doesn’t even like mustard because he thinks that is too spicy

-Literally dies and comes back as a different version of Gandalf that’s how dramatic he is

-If it smells a little spicy he won’t even try it

[babyhatesreality]

hello hello! i hope you’re well!💕 imagine the following:

baby being a hot chip fiend.

the thought has not left me. i’m plagued with thoughts of it on the daily.😭

since katie cat is a modern little, the thought of her enjoying and munching away on takis or hot cheetos while steve and/or bucky just recoil at the spiciness of it just makes me laugh.

especially since steve and bucky were just raised in a completely different time, a stomachache waiting to happen for them, is literally just a casual little snack for her.😭💀

however, there’s also the possibility that at least one of them…bucky would like the spice.

OMG @spoopynortherndownwhore!! So this is hilarious for a multitude of reasons. The first being- I adore this idea and it makes me laugh so hard- you are a genius. Also I'm so sorry for the delay. The second- I am the absolute opposite of a hot chip fiend. Like some of the Taco Bell mild stuff is too much for me. So I have absolutely no idea how to write it because I am literally that person that get a whiff of a spicy scent and starts making faces like a two year old confronted with broccoli.

So all that being said....Imma make some stuff up because it makes me laugh and because you are amazing and I hope it makes you laugh!

This one time you were grocery shopping with Bucky, and a package of Flaming Cheetos caught your eye. You thought the cheetah with the fire behind him was pretty, so you asked if you could get it.

Bucky wasn't sure about this. "Baby, these are hot and spicy. I don't think you're gonna like 'em." But when your face crumpled with disappointment, of course he couldn't handle that. He tossed them right into the basket. "What the heck. Let's live a little."

Your cheering and giggles was all he needed to know it was the right move.

Once you got home, you were desperate to try them, but Bucky insisted on you eating a normal lunch first. Once you finished your pb&j and carrot sticks, you both decided to try them together.

At the first taste, your eyes widened from the burn, your nose wrinkled as it ran, and your tongue felt like it was on fire. And you liked it a lot. You didn't care for the burn, but once you got past that the taste was really good! You reached for another one, but your hand was intercepted.

Because Bucky, who had popped one in at the same time as you, was nearly gagging. He felt like his face was exploding, his guts were on fire, and he didn't even want to think about what was happening in his colon.

"Absolutely not," he wheezed at you, keeping a hold of your hand while snatching the bag. He put the offending fire chips from hell in the top cabinet above the fridge where you couldn't reach even with your step stool before grabbing the gallon of milk. He sloshed some into your glass quickly, before drinking straight from the jug himself.

Once he tamed the burn, he became aware that you were just watching him curiously, having not touched your milk at all.

"Didn't that burn?" Bucky asked, his voice still hoarse from the spice. You nodded.

"Yeah but it was fun!"

"FUN?!"

"Yup! Can I have another?"

"No, baby, I don't want it to hurt your tummy."

"Doesn't hurt!"

"It might not hurt now, but it'll hurt later. No more flaming hot cheetos."

"Dat's no fun."

"You'll thank me later."

"You didn't like dem, Daddy?"

"They're not gonna like ME, munchkin. Drink your milk please."

After you had obeyed and had a milk mustache, you tried again. "Dey didn't taste good to you?"

"They tasted fine, but that burn....yikes," Bucky mumbled as he wiped your face.

"I like da taste too!"

"The taste WAS good, but it's not worth it."

"Please, Daddy? Just one more?"

"Sorry Trouble, it's not happening again."

"But what if Papa like da taste? Can he has them?"

"Okay, now THAT'S a fun idea."

Later that night, Bucky had convinced Steve to try one, and relented on letting you have another- mostly so he could watch Steve's reaction to you having no reaction.

It went exactly how you think it would go.

Steve banned them from the house after watching you down three cheetos in a row in absolute horror.

When you asked what was going to happen to the rest of the cheetos since they weren't allowed in the house anymore, Bucky brushed it off, saying they'd take care of it.

What you didn't know, was after Steve had tucked you into your bed that night, he caught Bucky sneaking a handful of them in the kitchen pantry with a tub of ice cream next to him.

Bucky just blinked at him innocent. "Don't you judge me, Rogers."

"Fine, Barnes. But you either point your ass the other way in bed tonight, or you're sleeping on the couch."

[prettyguardian-sailorbiscuit]

RenGiyuu is a pretty underrated ship.

Literally a spicy sun with a calming moon.

The Red to one's Blue.

The Flaming Hot Cheetos to Cool Ranch Doritos.

Just a thought.

[ashdreams2023]

Idk if you still take any other characters for requests but if you have time also do a lucius malfoy hcs with a s/o who absolutely LOVES spicy food? They cant go one day with at least one snack/meal thats spicy (they like normal food too, the spicy ones is just more appealing to them) take your time ^^

Lucius Malfoy x reader who loves spicy food

Ok at first he didn’t think much of it, so what if you ask for chili flakes on some dishes or buy hot sauce every week because you use it on everything

Like ok, you want spicy ramen go ahead he’ll get sushi

Then he took a bite of your food once by accident and you were two seconds from floo calling snape for help

"How do you stomach this?!" "I just do!"

Literally watches you with both amusement and terry every time you get into one of your overlay spiced dishes

Lips red from sauce and not one drop of sweat, or runny nose, you looked completely fine

It has become such a common thing that the house elves now know how to make your food exactly like that each time

Sometimes he feels slightly bad when you two go out to eat and the options are just in normal level heat but you assure him that it’s completely fine

"It’s fine, plus there’s plenty of snacks at home"

Guilty of cringing at the muggle foods you bring with you when you go out shopping

"What’s that my love?" "Oh it’s a corn dog covered in hot flaming Cheetos, wanna try?"

Gets considered for your stomach a lot of times, especially if you get stomachaches which was a rare event

"You carry hot sauce with you?!" "What? You can never be overly prepared"

He may have a low tolerance for spice but he does like the tingle feeling on his lips when he kisses you after a meal

The way he had eaten way too much Asians food since he met you because of the spice ranges

"Hey I think you can handle spice much better now!" "Not as good as you my love"

[maypiles]

OMG 😱

Found your Jackson Wang reading through hashtags *chefs kiss* 👌 Could u please do a similar reading for NCT Taeyong? His love life? Thank you so much 🙏💓

Ohhhh my god, y’all are really out here summoning me to dive into the personal lives of K-pop royalty AGAIN???" 😭💕 First of all, anon, THANK YOU for finding my Jackson Wang reading through the hashtags and for the chef’s kiss appreciation. That was a whole spiritual novella, and now you’re asking for Taeyong’s love life? ICONIC TASTE. 👌(No cap idk who is that Taeyang yet but I feel it in my bones. ICONIC NONETHELESS) You’re giving me homework, and I love it. Let me light my candles, shuffle my cards, and prepare for whatever chaos spirit decides to drop on me. But like… warning: if this turns into another “secret marriage, betrayal, crying on balconies in Thailand” situation, I’m gonna need a moment to recover. 😩🔥 Stay tuned, babe. Spirit and I are about to serve up some piping hot tea. Let’s see what the cards have to say about your boy Taeyong. 👀✨

🌊🌻TAEYONG'S LOVE LIFE 2025💛☀️

ALRIGHT, BUCKLE UP, PEOPLE, BECAUSE THIS IS ABOUT TO BE A WILD RIDE. We’re diving into NCT Taeyong’s love life for 2025, and let me tell you, his energy? CHAOTICALLY HILARIOUS. This man is out here single as hell ASF but giving "I’m trying, okay?!" vibes, and SPIRIT IS NOT LETTING HIM REST.

🌅🌅🌅🌅

SHUFFLING ENERGY:

First off, as soon as I shuffled the cards, I literally snorted. Spirit straight-up said, "IF HE EVEN HAS A LOVE LIFE." 💀💀 I mean, poor Taeyong is out here scheming like the world’s most timid mastermind, terrified of rejection and past heartbreaks, but also low-key ready to be someone’s romantic knight in shining armor. LIKE SIR, PICK A STRUGGLE. I saw the Five of Cups flash and immediately saw Taeyang standing in front of a seraphim angel (hmm so random.. DON'T JUDGE) and heard, “Shall not fret!” Spirit’s out here acting like his life coach, pushing him to grow a pair (Courage! Boldness! Step up, King!), but he’s out here overthinking.

💛💛💛💛

THIS MAN IS SUCH A ROMANTIC. He’s probably listening to love songs, getting all in his feelings, and I wouldn’t be shocked if Flaming Hot Cheetos by Clairo is on repeat. The lyrics scream "crush phase," and honestly, that’s the vibe. He’s sitting there like, “What if I just… upgraded my love life?” (LMFAO why do I keep thinking about video games? Is he a gamer or into gaming by any chance?) but also dying at the thought of making the first move. Spirit’s like, “TAKE THE CHANCE, BABE. STOP HIDING.”

☀️☀️☀️☀️

CARDS PULLED:

Let’s get to it: World, Ten of Pentacles reversed, Hermit (no kidding), Ace of Wands, Moon reversed, Ten of Swords (ouch), Two of Cups (ooooh), Nine of Wands (the struggle), Queen of Wands reversed (tea?), Chariot reversed (you ain’t going nowhere, King), Six of Cups (nostalgia, much?), Nine of Cups reversed (boohoo vibes), Seven of Swords reversed (spill the truth), Page of Cups (puppy love), Devil (spicy), Ace of Cups (OMG new beginnings?!), Knight of Cups (man’s about to risk it all), Knight of Wands (he’s TRYING, okay?!), and Judgment (this card wouldn’t leave my mind!).

BOTTOM: Justice (karma’s working overtime).

SPLITS: Empress (divine feminine vibes), Emperor (okay, soulmate energy?!), and Six of Pentacles (balance it out, babe).

🌊🌊🌊🌊

THE TEA™:

First of all, this man is hilariously, miserably single right now. He’s in hermit mode, probably journaling and making Pinterest boards about “the love life I deserve.” BUT THEN. THEN. Something sparks in 2025 (Ace of Wands), and it’s like he’s ready to shoot his shot. And guess what? It’s not some random fling—it’s real. Like soulmate potential (Two of Cups). BUT he’s terrified of rejection, of messing up things because that's literally what I heard spirit saying (Five of Cups, Nine of Wands), so he’s overthinking it to death. Taeyong, babe, TAKE A BREATH.

Spirit showed me this blond-haired masculine (which turned out to look 90% like him, BTW. Yes, ik ik I'm that gifted) on some small deserted island during what looks like a reality show??? Imagine gravel, sand, bright weather, and a random banner as tho some sort of a reality show (are we on "Two Days, One Night" vibes or something?). He’s laughing awkwardly, super embarrassed, because the manager said something hilarious. It’s playful, lighthearted, and low-key adorable.

✨✨✨✨

HIS ENERGY:

Y’all, Taeyong’s energy is SO FUNNY and infectiously playful. Like, if this guy is actually this goofy and fun, then this reading SCREAMS accuracy. He’s not just out here “finding love”; he’s doing it with childlike wonder. Spirit’s like, “It’s safe for you to love! Open up, babe!” but also karmic lessons everywhere. Whatever he’s stepping into romantically? It’s about learning, healing, and GROWTH.

🌟🌟🌟🌟

ORACLE CARDS:

This Could Be the One: Spirit is hinting that he’s already met someone who’s The Real Deal™.

Honeymoon: Are they going to meet during a holiday?! THAT ISLAND Y'ALL??! Or is there a dreamy vacation vibe coming?

Playfulness: Like I said, his energy is hilarious and adorable—he’s learning to embrace this lighthearted side because Spirit is URGING him to.

New Love: Spirit says YES to something fresh.

Romantic Feelings: Baby boy’s catching the feels, and it’s so CUTE.

Karmic Lessons, Forgiving, and Learning: Look, this is about healing from his past and stepping into something REAL.

🐠🐬🐠🐬

WHY THIS IS SO SWEET:

Spirit is gently bullying him to open his heart. He’s terrified of past mistakes (Five of Cups, Nine Swords), but this is his karmic lesson: to take a risk. And OMG, the energy of first-stage love. You know that fuzzy, giggly feeling when it’s all butterflies and stolen glances? YEAH, THAT. He’s dipping his toes into romance but probably panicking because its genuineness is so unfamiliar.

🐚🐚🐚🐚

WILD SYNCHRONICITY:

Also, can we talk about how Spirit literally showed me this blond dude in a white hoodie on an island, and it turned out to look exactly like him?! HELLO??? This isn’t even shocking anymore—I once sketched Fyodor Dostoevsky before knowing what he looked like BUT TURNED OUT I ACTUALLY SKETCHED HIM WITH A LETHAL ACCURACY (that was years before I got into spirituality and discovered my gifts), so yeah, my channeling skills are THAT girl. But still, this was wild.

🍨🍨🍨🍨

FINAL NOTES:

Taeyong’s energy is pure chaos but in the best way.

He’s ready to take a leap into love but needs to get over his fears first.

The connection feels karmic and healing, but also sweet and lighthearted.

This reading feels hilariously accurate because of how playful and funny his vibe is. HE'S SUCH A SUNSHINE!

Spirit’s like, “Take a chance, babe—it’s safe for you to love.”

So yeah, 2025 is giving “funny romance with soulmate vibes.” We’re rooting for you, Taeyong! GO GET THAT LOVE! 💖💖

(btw why is the reading so bright I'm not built for this palette but Taeyang's energy is taking over HELP-

OMG ANON LISTEN!!! 😭😭😭 So here’s the tea: I am definitely gonna check this NCT Taeyong out because HIS ENERGY??? UNHINGEDLY HILARIOUS AND HEARTWARMING. Is he an enfp?? Like, Spirit literally hit me with the giggle stick while channeling his love life, and I’m sitting here wondering HOW IS THIS MAN SO ENDLESSLY CHAOTIC AND ENDEARING AT THE SAME TIME???

I left K-pop behind like a distant relic of my youth, years ago, completely dusted and done. BUT THIS ENERGY??? I’m terrified I’m gonna Stan him soon. My retirement from the K-pop world might be OVER. 😭😭💕

Anon, if this reading is as accurate as it feels, I’m about to become his No. 1 fan. HOW IS THIS REAL?? Like, send prayers because I can already hear “Stan Taeyong” whispering in my subconscious. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! 😭😭😭💓

HOLY MOTHER OF EVERYTHING THATS UNDER THE HEAVENS 😭😭😭😭😭😭 Okay, like, hear me out—I CANNOT WITH THIS!!! NO WAY this reading isn’t the most accurate thing ever because what?? WHAT?!?! I literally went on Pinterest, right, just to get some pics of this Taeyong from NCT for the Tumblr post. AND THEN I SEE IT. I see it!!! HE HAS TATTOOS AND ONE LOOKS LIKE AN ANGEL??? 😱 EXCUSE ME, WHAT?? Is this why I literally channeled this guy earlier standing in front of a SERAPHIM ANGEL bathed in golden light, and this angel was telling him “You shall not fret”???? I’m absolutely screaming right now. Like, seriously—how is that a coincidence??? THAT'S DIVINE GUIDANCE, PROTECTION, AND BLESSINGS. BUT WAIT, there’s more. I found PICTURES of this Taeyong with blond hair, on an island, in the brightest of sunlight, wearing WHITE SHORTS. (Okay, close enough. Very close, Spirit. I see you.) AND THEN—AND THEN—out of nowhere, KRIS WU FLASHES in my mind’s eye, and I’m like “huh, that’s random, who cares??” But NO—turns out Taeyong’s in SUPERM, which has EXO MEMBERS, and I used to LOVE Kris Wu back in the day, so I’m like, WAIT A SECOND, IS SPIRIT TRYING TO TELL ME TAEYONG IS INVOLVED IN SOME WAY WITH EXO??? What’s happening right now, because this is CRAZY???!!! Like seriously, I'm SHOOOOCKED 😭😭😭. Spirit literally knows exactly what it's doing, and I’m here about to become a full-blown Taeyong stan at this point, like there’s no going back now. This is absolutely mind-blowing. I’m so shook I can't even breathe.

The umpteenth edit before posting:

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭 WHAT?? NO. THERE'S NO WAY!! So I’m over here, right, I found this pic of Taeyong's tattoos—literally DROPPED MY JAW, because I’m over here trying to connect it with the whole seraphim angel I channeled earlier. And then I literally look at the COMMENTS on the pic, AND WHAT DO I SEE?? A FREAKING 111 in the comments!! 😱 LIKE WHAT??? WHAT??? HOW IS THIS EVEN REAL?? 111, the angel number, like this was the universe giving me a freaking confirmation that everything I was channeling was spot-on? I’m literally losing my mind right now. I'm over here connecting dots I didn’t even know needed to be connected, and spirit is just THROWING signs at me like “Here, have this, and this, and this!” I'm screaming, I’m laughing, I can’t even—SPIRIT KNOWS WHAT IT’S DOING!!! 😭😭😭 I cannot. This reading is like a whole divine conspiracy happening right before my eyes, and I’m just HERE for it. There's no way in hell this is a coincidence. NO WAY.

It's official: I WILL NEVER RECOVER—

*dies*

[chiquititaosita]

hange y novia de mexicana

synopsis: Hange and a mexicana novia headcanons part 2

Osita note: hange is given gender neutral pronouns, mentions of erueri (idk how to say it lmao), Mexican culture, Mexican slang, also some baddie shit lol A LITTLE BIT OF NSFW(car sex, food play), generational trauma. Tias being exposed.

It’s their funeral again, but anyways here’s my lovely moots tag list @emomanswhore @roronoaswifey @roronoacherries @sanjis-all-blue @sanjisblackasswife @euphofic @noawithlove @luffyinlove @hqkalon @yourrfavzxri @abbyslev @hangespublicist @hangeslovers-world @azelmawrites @jujuyii @honeybleed @backwzzds @neptunes1nterweb @theemrsjaeger @chrollohearttags @cottonconnielvr @ginger4sugar @mommypieck @usopps-devotee @punktastics @kazushawty @etherealxmaya @forever-rogue @prncssmimi

- y/n is majorly a chismosa and so is hange

- they’re gonna fuck you the minute y’all leave from having dinner with your family in their damn car. “Does that feel good??” They’re gonna whisper in your ear as they’re in the drivers seat rubbing your clit as you nod whimpering yes.

- always touching your thighs!! NO REASON

- loves your kisses, and they love your physical touch. Always craving to touch you and to be close to you.

-they buy you pan dulce every time you come over. Because they know how much you crave for it.

- “hey!! I have this for you!!” They give you a bag of flaming hot cheetos with lime, slices in a bag. When you’re on your period. you just fry and hug them!!

- “hey do you wanna come over??”

- “I cant.”

-“why??”

-“my mom said I went out already three times today.” Which is translating that you need to come over this time. And they do.

-hange would be sooo confused the first time their gf says that but they get the hang of stuff quickly fs 😭

- when you do your thing and holding Hanges hand it’s adorable like yes. “Idc if we’re going out we’re holding hands the whole. damn. Time.”

-“that’s fine by me!-“ Hange is literally such a happy partner fr. They just love to be around you.

-Hange learns to keep extra grocery bags, when you notice this you’re like.. 😀😀

-“where did my partner go!?” You’re shook and pretty sure hallucinating.

-the minute at a carne asada when a new baby is born EVERYONES taking the baby. Even HANGE

-“mija when are you and Hange getting married?” hange tried to answer as they get cut off by y/ns tias.

-“CALLATE PUTAAAA!!” A drunk hange would say, when you’re out of the carne asada!! Walking into the car.

-“y/n don’t worry it’s okay.” Hange doesnt need you to stand up for themselves, but because it’s your family, if they misgendered hange on purpose you’re going a-wall on them

-“ no!! I am not letting you get disrespected! I have had enough of their bullshit and listened to them for TEN YEARS” You’d be pissed and established a fucking boundary between a group of your tias about hange and yourself as a couple, in general because those tias criticize every fucking thing.the minute they try to pick you up to calm down.

-you told and gave them that Latina stare. “Sit down.” They sat down instantly with your dad as they both cracked open a beer.

-“That’s why you can’t keep a man!! Because you got La pescado panocha!! You��re an alcoholic who has severe daddy issues, And you!! YOU DONT EVEN HAVE YOUR FUCKING PAPERS!! YOU FUCKING BORDER HOPPER HOMIE HOPPING ASS COCHINA!!”. They left within five minutes.

-“AND COME BACK WHEN YOU CAN HAVE PROPER ENGLISH!!” Hange just sits there and actually felt thankful that you didn’t have to do that but they are thankful. You’re a short chihuahua with a 6’5 Great Dane mindset.

- they obviously eat the FUCK OUT OF POZOLE!!

- and they love your cooking. “Oh mah god..” they’ll cover their mouth when they taste nopales for the very first time and they’re in love.

-even eating ramen noodles the Mexican way with tapatío or Valentina, lime juice and chilé powder. Mhm yummyyy!!

-now if you and Hange are in the car. You’re screaming in the car. They’re screaming bad bunny with you. Because yes!

-now when y’all live together. You’re the clingiest mf out there.

-“it’s bc of that chorizo!!!” Hange didn’t even know what that meant until they asked Connie, which instantly clicked into Hanges mind being the strap on!! ding ding ding!!’

-always satisfies your period cravings fr.

-“y/n HOW ARE YOU NOT BALD!?!?” This is Hange saying this as they get out of the shower using the drainage hair catcher and yes HISPANICS SHED A LOT OF FUCKING HAIR.

-“I don’t know genetics I guess.”

- sucks the chamoy and tajin off your Chi Chis

-when you told hange you eat pomegranates with tajin and chamoy They’re in shock. They’re gonna get you pregnant for sure!

-parent hange with mexicana mommy reader coming soon??!!?

- cooking with hange is intimate as well, because they’re always hugging you from behind leaving small kisses and love bites all over to label you as theirs.

- even hange drinking an agua fresca,their favorite would be mango for sure.

-even the grapefruit soda squirt they’re gonna buy so many cans of it.

- hange gets the hang of it, when going to a carne asada that Mexicans open their beers or soda bottles with just about ANYTHING AND EVERHTHING! from a kids toy to someone’s ass, or even a chair. It’s very rare to use a bottle opener. That’s what Hange brings a knife and a bottle opener.

-they love your Spanglish or. “AHH SANNAOFABISSHH!”

-they eat the chicken and cheese quesadillas you make in the fridge as a late night snack by reheating them in the microwave.

-one day you were sick and you wanted caldo de res . This mf called your abuela and ASKED THEM HOW TO MAKE IT EXACTLY AS IF ABUELA WAS THERE.

-“You made it for mee???” You’re tearing up with the rice and corn inside of the soup bowl along with the chicken. As you were on your period crying

-Now Hanges spice tolerance is manageable. But when you make them have anything they’ll slowly become immune to spicy things and love it. (They’re not spice god on tiktok okay.) but they’re an enthusiast.

-absolutely loves to spend time with you even if you’re always at home. They don’t care they’ll bring the fun to you!

-that’s why when y’all build blanket forts sometimes it heals both of your inner child together

-this also includes going to the grocery store at 3 o’clock in the morning to try some Mexican tiktok snacks or to have a day and y’all treat y’all’s selves on date night.

-and they kiss your lonjas (tummy rolls, this includes stretch marks and lunares)

-“dame un beso.” You’ll tell them and they’ll do it as you lean in. “Did you say give me a kiss?”

[mattlvr03]

Something, Somehow, Someday

Matt Sturniolo

Genre: Soft angst / slow-burn romance

Chapter 36: Sunscreen, Chaos, and the Only Adult Present

You knew it was going to be a day the second Matt sprinted back inside the house barefoot, yelling, “DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE THE BIG TOWEL IS?”

You were still packing snacks in the kitchen, double-checking the cooler like a mom heading out with toddlers. Except your “toddlers” were three grown men with the emotional range of golden retrievers and the planning skills of squirrels.

“It’s literally in the backseat of the car,” you called back, eyebrows raised as Matt popped his head into the kitchen, sheepish and already sun-screened like a six-year-old.

“Right. Cool. Just testing your memory.”

You shot him a look. “You failed.”

Nick entered next, holding a speaker, a bucket hat, and zero sunscreen. “Are we leaving or what? Chris said he was gonna leave without me like twenty minutes ago but he’s still doing his hair.”

“He’s been doing his hair for forty-five minutes,” you said dryly. “And no one is leaving until I know we have sunscreen, water bottles, and snacks that aren’t just flaming hot Cheetos.”

Nick pouted. “That’s kind of rude to the Cheetos.”

Matt snuck a hand into the snack bag, trying to steal a protein bar before you swatted him. “Matthew. You’ll thank me when you’re not dehydrated and passed out face-down in the sand.”

“Okay, mom” he said with a grin, leaning in to kiss your cheek as he dodged another swat.

By the time everyone was loaded into the car, the vibe was chaotic in the way only a Sturniolo-adjacent trip could be. You sat in the front seat beside Matt, holding the directions, while the three of them argued about which beach had “the best sand-to-vibe ratio.”

You didn’t even bother asking what that meant.

Once you arrived, the real work began.

Chris ran straight into the water with no sunscreen.

Nick refused to put his phone in a Ziploc bag.

Matt insisted on digging a hole that “wasn’t just for fun, it’s architectural.”

You sighed, sitting on the towel you’d carefully laid out, pulling your oversized sunglasses down.

“Boys,” you called. “If I have to come over there and apply sunscreen to all of your faces like you’re preschoolers, I will.”

They groaned in unison.

“Don’t threaten us with a good time,” Nick muttered.

Chris shouted from the water, “I’m literally burning! Someone bring me the 50!”

Matt, already halfway buried in sand, gave you a guilty smile. “Can you bring it over? I can’t move.”

You stood slowly, dramatically, grabbing the sunscreen bottle like it was a sword.

“I am dating one of you,” you muttered. “So why do I feel like I’m responsible for all of you?”

“Because you’re the only one with a functioning brain,” Nick replied cheerfully.

You sighed as you knelt next to Matt, squirting sunscreen into your hand. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

“I know,” he said, eyes sparkling. “You still love me though.”

You grumbled something incoherent under your breath, but your hands were already smoothing lotion over his nose, his cheeks, his shoulders. His eyes softened, expression quieting for a moment as he watched you.

“Thanks for taking care of us,” he murmured. “Even when we act like we’re nine.”

You rolled your eyes, but your smile betrayed you. “Someone has to.”

By mid-afternoon, the sun had mellowed, the boys were sun-safe, and you had finally managed to sit down with a cold drink and a book.

Nick and Chris were building a sandcastle that looked suspiciously like a disaster. Matt was beside you, his hand laced through yours, head resting on your shoulder.

“I like you like this,” he mumbled, eyes closed. “All soft and in charge.”

You raised a brow. “Soft?”

“Like… glowy. Summer girlfriend energy. But also, like, CEO of our beach trip.”

You snorted. “So what you’re saying is, I’m the hot mom-friend.”

Matt smirked, turning to kiss your shoulder. “Exactly.”

And as the waves crashed and the sky started to blush pink, you couldn’t help but feel it — that bone-deep kind of love that came with sunburnt noses, sandy toes, and being the one who packed the snacks.

Because yeah, sometimes they were chaos.

But they were your chaos.

And you wouldn’t trade that for anything.

@mattspillowprincess 🤓

[w3ath3r-0f-sw34t3rz]

forcing myself to pick a top five (in no particular order except for no. 1) for my favorite artists. why? because!

top five edition because these were the artists who i'm not literate enough in, or who don't have enough, or whatever enough for the top ten. and because the other one was too long

madilyn mei

side quest song

partner in crime

the brink

at the cemetery

tho i'm a tortoise

mxmtoon

the idea of you

i hate texas

hong kong

almost home

cliché

ricky montgomery

my heart is buried in venice

talk to you

reptilia

line without a hook

black fins

the regrettes

monday

i love us

rosy

dummy

shapeshifter

jazmin bean

carnage

black dress

little lamb

it's not my fault (it's yours)

hello kitty

addison grace

everybody seems to love you

pessimistic

out of touch

slime!

kill the switch

destroy boys

drink

american river

i threw glass at my friend's eyes and now i'm on probation

crybaby

escape

clairo

bubble gum

bags

flaming hot cheetos

b.o.m.d.

how - demo

girl in red

rue

serotonin

watch you sleep.

you stupid bitch

we fell in love in october

lovejoy

it's golden hour somewhere

concrete

perfume

taunt

sex sells

mac demarco

watching him fade away

heart to heart

for the first time

my kind of woman

blue boy

jack stauber's micropop

pearls

fighter

choice

blood pump

cupid

frankie cosmos

sappho

rings (on a tree)

outside with the cuties

my i love you

fool

thank you for your time

[autisticempathydaemon]

Hello hello! I would love a matchup!

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why? - Playing with Bad Luck by Set it Off ... Its a kinda day/ its a kinda week/ Its a kinda year/ When you cut and paste/ When you're on your knees/ When you're out of tears (damn)/ examine every scar. i'm auditing my karma/ something just ain't adding up/ it's close, but no cigar/ i'm dancing in the dark cause/ every light keeps shutting off/ i'm playing with bad luck

What is your Enneagram type? - I'm an 8w7! also an ISFJ personality type

Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend.- I created a lot of stories and characters as a kid, most of them were knights or huge creatures

What is your go-to way to fall asleep? - I usually have a cup of tea and sit with my dog. On nights where I can't get my brain to shut up I'll play audiobooks/redacted sleep aid lol

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why? - Okay but something about the comfort/ reverse comfort audios hit a place in my heart I didn't think was in me. Like, I get why I like the healing audio cause the listener is getting doted on, and that's cute. (No matter how many times I listen to Gavin's comfort audios I will sob every time) But when I listen to a reverse comfort, it makes me love a character even more. Like the fact that they trust their listener (i.e., David breaking down, Gavin giving bits and pieces of his past to freelancer/ breaking down in the inversion, Milo injured, etc), makes my heart swell.

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.) - Okay, the character is made for the audience to not really like them, but Marcus (Project Meridian) sets a wave of anger in me I could never begin to explain like the manipulation tactics and gaslighting make me want to murder someone, BUT SOMEHOW IM LIKE "Oh I like Vega" which don't get me wrong also hate Vega at times but the way he acts with warden makes me love him

Tell me about that one book/movie/TV show you know all the words to. - does Redacted count "just gotta say ding dong the witch is dead fucking goes off and you better promise to play that at my funeral ALSO unrelated macho man unironically fucking goes off AND YOU KNOW WHAT actually IT IS related because you absolutely need to promise to play that at my funeral too back to back Macho man immediately followed by ding dong the witch is dead what do you say?" .... don't ask BUT IF NOT I also know pirates of the caribbean, the Grinch (live action), Mitchells vs the machines, Monty Python and the holy grail, too name a few

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend? - OH MY GOD CAN VINCENT BE MY BESTIE (obvi also love ash and guy but let me explain) Okay vincent is one of those guys who's sarcasm is top notch like homie could roast anyone without a second to waste. Also I feel like I could literally sit in silence with Vincent and it not feel awkward yknow

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.) okay, I will ramble about history like there is no tomorrow. for example, did you know that Constantine the Great considered himself such a great Christian that he called himself the "13th Apostle" on his tomb (which very few people have been able to see because you have to be closely enough related to him to enter) he didn't write his name on his coffin instead it says 13th apostle also he put the remains of the other apostles in his tomb because "he deserved it" ......anywayssss

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo. - flaming hot Cheetos and a sprite reset my life in a way that makes me want to achieve my dreams

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment. - The Balance, its so beautifully made, starting with a close experience to death, to cult antics, to AN UNEXPECTED CROSSOVER. its just made sooooooooooooo well

What’s your guilty pleasure in media, and why? - Okay cringy middle school emo/ animatic music from my past is engrained into my brain

And whatever else you think tells me about who you are! - i'm 5'2 and the youngest of a big family. I'm an artist and currently working on an illustration degree. I love love love voice acting. Thats about it! THANKS

You gave me so much to work with here, and yet it was a challenge. Like, I could have gone in so many directions. I think you could work so well with so many of the boys, but ultimately, it had to be Asher.

Your submission gives me the vibe of someone who’s loyal, unique, and confident, who knows what they’re about and always has something interesting to say even if you’re not particularly extroverted. I like the idea of pairing Asher with you because he would perfectly uplift you, pulling you out of your shell and giving you the stage to shine while also knowing when to take the reins and support you, in your education, social situations, whenever.

Your life would be so genuinely fun together- not just because Asher’s so fun as a dude but because y’all have so much in common. You two would have the same taste in music (that FOB fan boy) and pop culture. You’d be the tea drinker to his Monster Energy vibes, the perfect balance in the house to feed his bubbly nature but also ground him. Also, Asher should totally have a dog he can play with, so it’s even more perfect.

Song:

If you don't swim, you'll drown/ But don't move, honey/ You look so perfect standing there/ In my American Apparel underwear/ And I know now, that I'm so down/ Your lipstick stain is a work of arts I got your name tattooed in an arrow heart/ And I know now, that I'm so down

5SOS seems like just the sort of group y’all and Asher would like now, the group that was pop-punk adjacent and has evolved with its audience. This track in particular is a classic, and I can see Asher totally jamming out to this in the car, air-guitaring at red lights, and demanding applause from you when he’s done (which you’d give because he’s just that cute).

Runner-Ups:

Like I said, there were so many boys that could have been matched with you, so there were also too many options for runner-ups! I settled on Anton because he’d be so cute with a tea-drinking dog lover. He deserves a puppy and a partner who makes them a pot to share. I also like you with Guy because an artist and writer couple is just too cute to pass up.

note: thank you for waiting 🖤

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[abiiors]

literally fuck normal song titles. i want early 2000’s emo and midwest emo titles from now on. so when people ask me my favorite song it’s completely normal for me to respond with something like “i ate the pope he tasted like smoke” or “flaming hot cheetos bag in a costco at 2 am” and not be looked at like im insane

and like i would fucking love a song that has the same vibes as flaming hot cheetos bag in a costco at 2 am!!!

fuck regular names, songs should be named after weirdly specific vibes and feelings ONLY

[veryslowreader]

The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown

Orange Is the New Black: "Flaming Hot Cheetos, Literally"