#fj1

[stripedstarsblueflags]

i didn't win the wheel: episode 6

would you believe me if i said i thought i was ready for how depressed doing this series was going to make me, but i was wrong? i am stupid. i am actually stupid.

Logan (in the most deadpan, empty, listless voice I have ever heard and I've worked with middle schoolers): "We will be playing a mini football– foosball– ah, game... and first to five– whoever wins–"

[he looks up at Alex, then points to the camera]

Logan the Game Show Host: "⭐⭐ Gets to spin that wheel ⭐⭐"

jesus christ, i remember starting this series, first rewatching it all, and realizing that i could literally watch everything drain out of logan episode by episode. i just.. legitimately forgot how quickly that happens. how few episodes there are. let me TRY to find something good... anyways, The Bit is back. at this point in the show logan is doing pretty much all the introductions, so alex has very much settled into his role of "can i play with this while you're talking? okay thanks :)". logan actually tries to direct his attention to the camera more than once as he's introducing it, because alex is just fidgeting away... but it's not restless or hyperactive or excited. it's like he's matching logan's energy. logan is dejected, lifeless, bored; alex is an absolute mirror right in the very introduction of the video which, um, not a good look if you're the editor. and then logan does his little thing and looks right at alex, even as he's moving away, and then *all of the sudden* there's this brilliant smile and he's actually laughing... and alex, who at first only laughs a little (because logan's dark cloud is raining on them both today) meets logan's eyes and hears the laugh and THEN his sunshine is back. look at how quickly he glances from logan back to the camera... it's like he's just unexpectedly been given his cue. oh! look at that! this is actually fun?? we're having fun?? listen to him i think we're having fun!

sorry to dash your hopes, alex. after the one glint of laughter, logan is immediately locked in, i mean look at him he's practically gritting his teeth. meanwhile alex isn't quite having fun– he's losing by a lot– but he's trying to sort of jumpstart some fun anyway. the whole time he's making his little noises like "aaaAAA!" or "oooOOoo" that don't really mean anything, but it's kind of like when you're trying to get your dog to do something it doesn't want to do... you put all the emphasis in your voice and pretend that the bath or whatever is actually THE BEST PLACE EVER and SUPER SUPER FUN just to get the task over with. to get participation. and logan is... well, he's participating in the game, but he's not participating in alex's game. and alex seems awkward and alone and like he's trying too hard, because he is. because he's expecting a little bit of banter, a little bit of anything from logan's side that he can sort of coax into something eventually, because if anyone can bring logan out of his shell it's alex. but right now he's left with nothing. logan's doing what he's told. he happens to be alongside alex. that's all alex is getting.

ugh, thank god that's over. we're warming up a little! only took the most painful game of foosball i've ever secondhand experienced. alex spent the whole time losing, but not only did he not really lock in, he also didn't stop talking for more than five seconds for, like, the whole game. "what team are you, by the way?" straight up asking useless questions just to get something. i said earlier that alex's exuberance comes out extra when he's around logan– subconsciously or consciously– but this is a very solid, definitive example of what it looks like when it's intentional. he's nearly embarrassing himself. he sounds like an absolute goofball because he's trying so hard to bring the energy up. because they've done this before, they've played together, they've connected, they've had fun, why can't it be like before? why can't they find their own little world away from all the shitshow around them just for three minutes like they used to? he's trying too hard and he doesn't really know how and it shows.

but look, we got that little win celebration. FINALLY. some emotion!! never mind the fact that there's literally no eye contact... hmm, wonder how alex will react to this?

[Logan is declared the winner, cute little transition graphic]

Alex: "Disgusting defeat..."

Logan: "5 - 1... I'll give it to you, I had a little practice trial before–"

Alex: "To be honest with you, I don't think it owuld have made a difference."

Logan: "A little..." (cuts himself off because he's laughing)

aaaaahhhhh that's refreshing. okay. you know what this reminds me of? episode two. "you're a lot better at golf than me, so i expect you to do well." neither of them approach these challenges with the arrogant, hyperbolic confidence of carlos and charles (which is always hilarious and adorable between those two but anyways) but they're generally pretty confident. competitive, like all drivers. i have yet to see a put down from one to the other stronger than the infamous wink of episode one but i can only count two instances where they're putting themselves down. logan did it first when alex was getting distracted by his own anxiety. and here alex does it. why? because he spent the whole damn game trying to break the ice and WHEN DID IT BREAK? at the win. at the hands-in-the-air, the cheering, the laughter. so now he's going to go after that feeling like he's cracked the case. he exaggerates not only his own defeat but also apparently his skill level? logan tries to sort of put them on an even plane and alex is like hell no i ain't messin with this self confidence moment. he's found some momentum, he's running with it, he's not going to drop it now. still fidgety but now turned almost all the way in to face logan. no eye contact, but not gazing all over the place either, he's listening. he's listening carefully. knowing the moves to make. and you know what?

Logan: "I mean you did score an oggie to lose, little own-goal.. but, uh–"

Alex (laughing): "Oggie..."

Logan: "Little oggie, oggie..."

(Alex is still laughing)

Logan: "But you know the deal. That means... I get to spin that wheel–"

(he and Alex immediately start laughing before he can completely round off the sentence)

it fucking works. it did take me a while to figure out what oggie meant because i'm culturally inept and even more so when it comes to anything to do with sport. anyway, it's a silly word, and alex has such a low threshold for what he finds funny (even LOWER if it's said by logan) that he can't help but laugh and repeat it to himself, and then because he's laughing logan goes ahead and repeats it again. looking over at him to catch the smile on his face. and of course alex can't even hold the eye contact because now he's flustered, because he wasn't ready for happy logan today and he doesn't know how to play it cool at the best of times... also standing that stiff with his hand on his hip so he can continue to face like 80% towards logan? is not playing it cool? logan smiles and alex remembers how head over heels he is. love to see it.

Logan: "So. Let's get into it."

Alex (frat boy Logan voice): "boom. spin that wheel babyyy"

(brief moment where he clearly has no idea what he just said)

Alex (normal voice): "What?"

(surprised and hysterical burst of laughter)

first of all, alex leaning into logan (while logan puts his own hand on his hip to make room) and putting his chin in his hand is fucking adorable. alex in general is adorable but can you imagine him acting this way with literally anybody else? even george? think about it the answer is no. moving on:

sometimes alex reaches the point of his silliness where nothing he says makes sense, even to his own ears. on team torque logan is obviously pretty used to the glittery moments of nonsense, but this is so random and so stupid that logan's laugh sounds like he was very much caught off guard, and then alex is laughing at himself and they're both cracking up and they have to visibly switch gears to focus on the wheel as it gets to a prize. because after all this they've finally gotten to ✨their space✨ and it's surprising because neither of them thought that was going to happen today! and it's a relief! but it's at the end of the activity. and we've gotten to a point where ✨their space✨ can only exist in little bubbles, little pre-designed staged moments when they're not in real life anymore they're just in a video. and then the video ends and real life is back and how are they supposed to keep pretending like the world isn't falling apart for one of them? how is that space sustainable in the real world?

so basically alex had to jump through eight and a half hoops to get to this point and it's over as soon as it's begun. because he doesn't get to have this part of logan in a way that he can keep. that part is off-limits to him, closed off by the neglect and the depression and the constant self-deprecation that is unspoken but visible from a mile away. logan's losing f1, he's losing his seat, he's losing his team, and alex isn't even comprehending that he's losing logan. he's not giving up his prompting or joking even when it gets awkward, even when logan might even consciously be shutting him out, because he's not willing to except that this is ending prematurely. "it ain't over til it's over" well alex fucking needs that. he needs every last second of logan he can get before they're torn apart and he doesn't want to spend those seconds looking at him between iron bars but that's what it feels like. because logan isn't allowed to have happiness and alex isn't allowed to have logan.

fucking hell

episode 7

[lilakartoffelbrei]

Mira trifft ein Einhorn

[artistocrazy]

@hetalia-aushun-week Day 6 - Marriage

(No one said it had to be their marriage) 👀

[pennylane714]

What are your opinions on the three episodes so far???? I miss you guys reviewing it

I'm really enjoying it so far! We have actually been reviewing these episodes on BabyKay47's YouTube channel the last couple weeks. In fact, we are live right now, discussing this week's episode "Bye"

https://www.youtube.com/live/w-uzZKzLyuI?si=ecVO_KNFbsr4-Fj1

[cc1959sworld]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Sold.

[patrickprincipe]

Les amis nos morts @ La Hopscène - BFM © 24.03.2023 Patrick Principe https://wp.me/p8baL8-fJ1 #Lesamisnosmorts #concertpics #musicphotography #concertphotography #live #onstage #loopmusic #abstracthiphop #triphop #instrumentals #electro #HipHopInstrumental #electronicmusic #BFM #BieredesFranchesMontagnes #lahopscene #lahopscène @les.amis.nos.morts @brasseriedesfranchesmontagnes @lahopscene (hier: BFM - Brasserie des Franches-Montagnes) https://www.instagram.com/p/CqQ_e2Lq2-_/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[paincorpsrarefinds]

2018 Hot Wheels Fast And Furious Nissan 240SX Original Fast 1/5

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[tiniigi]

[lilakartoffelbrei]

Bindungsangst

[madroots]

Monday 2/4/2019

Took a cutting from a flapjack but it ripped off. Gonna wait till it callouses over, hopefully it roots if not after a month or so I’ll just plant the leaf itself.

[genoviarpg]

¡DARLING CON BIGOTE! MUCHAS GRACIAS POR UNIRTE, DESDE AHORA JEAN-YVES JACOBY FORMA PARTE DE GENOVIA.

Todo parece estar en orden y bien desarrollado en la audición, la familia real te da la bienvenida a la tierra de la pera y la arena blanca natural. Por favor envía la cuenta de tu personaje en 48 horas, de necesitar más tiempo o tener cualquier duda, estamos a un mensaje de distancia.

OOC

Pseudónimo: 
darling con bigote

Edad: 
22

País/Zona Horaria: méxico gmt-7


Actividad (1/10):
 7

Triggers:
 pedofilia, incesto, zoofilia, cualquier tipo de abuso psicológico y físico

Contraseña: -removido-

   IC PARA MIEMBROS DE FAMILIAS

Familia:
 Jacoby

Parentesco: primer hijo de andrew y lady elissa

Nombre: jean-yves

Edad:
 20

Faceclaim:
 felix mallard

Rasgos de la personalidad: positivos: paciente, confiado, respetuoso negativos: impuntual, coqueto, orgulloso

Breve historia de vida: con el paso del tiempo sobreentiende es uno más de los niños que no tendrán respuesta sobre sus padres, al menos no los biológicos. primeramente le cuesta saber que ahora será parte de los jacoby cuando se crió con la gente del orfanato. luego, adaptarse a todo ese espectáculo que los rodea. su hermana es feliz y por eso lo intenta. la búsqueda ( que no lo lleva a ningún lado ) de la sangre de su sangre es olvidada apenas dentro de él siente ser hijo legítimo de la pareja. sería un ingrato si no los considera tal cual. no tiene más que ofrecerle a sus padres sino la lealtad y perfección que se espera: notas altas, alguien educado, bien presentable, adaptable y demás. un estilo de vivir lleno de lujos o merced de otros llega a ser abrumante, pero nada que no pueda controlar. desde siempre un interés algo irracional está ahí… el patinaje sobre hielo. ¿dónde? simple. primero quiere estudiar la misma profesión en búsqueda de aligerar la carga que el matriarca tiene con la familia; no le importaba tener la presión en los hombros. seguir los pasos y tener a todos felices sólo resta un pago social por parte de la familia hacia el muchacho: cada seis meses dejarle ir a hungría para su entrenamiento formal. ¿qué debe hacer? cumplir sus obligaciones en casa siempre así como las impuestas en su entrenar.

(Campo opcional) Datos extra relevantes:
 • contrario a su hermana él practica el piano como instrumento • tiene un san bernardo en hungría llamado Appa • ha pasado con lo largo de los años al patinaje artístico pese a su desempeño, aunque siempre se escapa para sólo patinar por ahí

[emo-and-confused]

AND THERE'S GONNNA EBE A C!TOMMY MIXTAPE COMING OUT SHORTLY AFTER?!??!?!? JJLKFAF DAKLSFJLKDF??AF/ 2LKS??s FJ1/1?/A -Random.

aksjdjdjfjfjfkg dope

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[cc1959sworld]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Golf gloves.

[patrickprincipe]

Les amis nos morts @ La Hopscène - BFM © 24.03.2023 Patrick Principe https://wp.me/p8baL8-fJ1 #Lesamisnosmorts #concertpics #musicphotography #concertphotography #live #onstage #loopmusic #abstracthiphop #triphop #instrumentals #electro #HipHopInstrumental #electronicmusic #BFM #BieredesFranchesMontagnes #lahopscene #lahopscène @les.amis.nos.morts @brasseriedesfranchesmontagnes @lahopscene (hier: BFM - Brasserie des Franches-Montagnes) https://www.instagram.com/p/CqQ_WvdqUGr/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=