#fit and fat and fine with that
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"they're not graceful", "they're not elegant", "They're not angelic"
-and i took that personally (as a challenge!)
#flight rising#frfanart#fr everlux#my art#quick doodles#literally the closest dragons you can get to a biblically accurate angel#this was mostly just for some practice#(...and take a break from the monster of a piece i've been working on for like 2 weeks now :') )#but this was also drawn with just the slightest bit of spite >:t#and i know they already explained Light being more about scholarship and knowledge#but even so i think the funny little worms fit perfectly fine into the 'angelic' category#like look at some of the new genes they released with!!#and freaking cherub!?!?!??! HELLO!?!?!??? AM I THE ONLY ONE SEEING THIS!??!?!?!?!??!?#*banging my pots and pans* WAKE UP PEOPLE!!!!#anyways the new Light gecko-bugs are good 👍#and some people are cowards#(and if i see any nasty behavior in the notes. i WILL block on sight -.-)#hey look i even got it done in time for a fat dragon friday!
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Girl please stop romanticizing obesity, it will literally kill you eventually (and I know it’s not the first time someone says it to you). Like are you even ok? Romanticizing being immobile & being humiliated on the street? Why would you even aspire to this? For some attention of questionable men on this app? Girl they don’t deserve you. This message comes from a place of concern, it is not intended as an insult. You said you want a career in the future, maybe focus on that, I’m not sure how possible it is do all that while being immobile or having whatever condition.
omfg 😭 i apologize for writing little stories to get myself off, i guess?? lmfao. i have a fetish. i state clearly in my bio that this is what to expect. sorry im horny posting anonymously on tumblr.com ???? stop being weird when u don’t even belong in these spaces
#this is so silly#like i really have any choice but to focus on my career#and i’ve literally said before that i don’t plan on reaching immobility#i really doubt i could. i have tummy issues and am literally allergic to garlic#and i’ve also definitely stated before that what i do requires me to have some level of fitness#permits went thru and i have. a massive project out in west TX in september#also. why does this person assume i’m not doing it for myself??#i was fat before posting here. and i will be fat after#i love my body and i’d love it even more if i was bigger#but i’m fine where i am and i’d be fine losing 50lbs too#tho i don’t wanna be under 200lbs bc that’s where body dysmorphia starts#i am predominantly attracted to fat women so. let me be that pls lol#anon. we have one life and i’m genuinely blessed to have attraction to smthn outside of the norm#this variation is normal within a population and i will have a normal life despite what ppl like you think#talk#ask
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I lived, bitches.
#pain isn't too bad so far but I assume that will change tomorrow because day of you usually still have some anesthetic in your system#also I'm PRETTY sure they fucked up and gave me too much anesthesia because I've had surgery five other times and never been hit this hard#including the major ankle surgery a year ago which was fine#and they clearly wanted to move me out but it took well over an hour for nausea to stop#at least the nausea has finally stopped though#and they had to keep putting the nasal cannula back because I wasn't breathing deeply enough on my own and my O2 stats were too low#so yeah I think the anesthesiologist did not do Fat People Math correctly in the same way that manufacturers of plus size clothing#sometimes try to make it bigger all over and fail at making a garment that fits#surgery itself was apparently fine and very textbook
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Singing in the rain ☔️
@swine-designs is hosting a huskerdust DTIYS for their birthday, but seeing as it is ALSO my birthday and I love drawing Husk, I had to enter 💕
#hazbin hotel#huskerdust#angel dust#husk#hazbin husk#swine designs DTIYS#honestly couldn’t get husks face to look right but I gave up after hours of trying#couldn’t quite get the colours how I wanted but the effect I wanted is there so it’s fine#also rip fat nuggets because he’s in the origional in between them#but because I like to give husk a tummy he no longer fit…#they are hosting it on their Instagram but if anyone wants to see the origional I’ll happily send you it#our birthday is the 15 so I low key spedran this ahahaha#also shoutout to the artist at con who said they loved how I draw husk#I will cherish you in my heart forever
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I should be neither surprised nor upset that my workplace does not stock plus size dress uniform pieces on site nor do they seem to understand that a womens xl does not actually really qualify as a plus size.
#my one coworker who holds on to uniforms for our department just said oh i have this xl on hand it might work!#and i had to say to him like. okay. that simply does not mean what you think it means#so then i go to the closet where the full stock of extras is#nothing above a xxl#again i know better than to let this make me feel like shit. and yet!#and they don't have a size chart for it either!!! lmao of course!!!! so i just have to guess. which shirt it is from this brand#and hope that the size chart I'm finding online (because I have to go search it because again they don't know anything about a size chart)#matches the product we use.#it's a dress shirt with no stretch so I can't just MAKE it fit I have to know it's going to fucking fit#ANYWAY IT'S FINE! LOL LOVE BEING APPARENTLY THE FIRST FAT PERSON EVER TO WORK HERE OR SOMETHING
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i start a new job (my first "real", full time job) in the new year, and while financially (and employability-ly) im excited, im really dreading it. and ive built it up so much in my mind that just thinking about it triggers an anxiety spiral. really i know its just gonna be. awkward, difficult, maybe embarrassing. but not the end of the world.
my new medication (sertraline / zoloft) is finally at a point where the majority of the day, im not anxious. still anxious at times, it hasnt been a magic bullet, but a lot better. adjusting to it and coming off escitalopram was awful though.
the past 2 nights ive been very anxious, almost panic attack -like. not sure if thats a med issue or something else.
i had an alright holiday period, there was of course some triggering going on (unavoidable around my stepdad, and my mum tries to micromanage it so much that it makes it worse) but overall it was ok. i hope everyone also had an at least ok holiday! (and if you didn't, im sorry & its over now!)
#dogpost#personal#hs' anxiety#i also got my helix pierced today which is cool. not nearly as painful (or as long lasting) as IM HRT lol so it was fine#i had to shop for some nice clothes for work though which as a short fat autistic trans man is awful as always. took me 3 hours to find -#- pants that fit me. and i still have to get them hemmed
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i’ve been avoiding buying clothes for a long time bc Ugh but i’m doing it today bc i need some new basic things before going on this fancy cruise with my parents. dropped $300 in the first store. why is everything in the world so expensive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#telling myself this is fine bc i haven’t bought myself new shit in years#and none of my jeans fit right anymore#so those are necessities#i still need to go to the shoe store bc my sketchers are like ten years old#and i got them at bealls#so i need nice clean sneakers and maybe some nice flats#idk how my parents will feel about me wearing my docs on the cruise even though i think they’re nice#fuck it! it’ll be cold so boots are normal and acceptable right#this suuuuuuuucks this suucks so bad#also i don’t consider myself to be that fat#like i definitely am a little bit but im really not that big i think im kind of average maybe a little above#but im consistently the largest size at these stores#how does anyone bigger than me buy clothes#like this is so ridiculous#im a 16/18/XL in women’s an L/XL in men’s#like this is a normal average size to be; and yet they only stock up to a 16 usually. i found one pair of pants in a 20#unbelievable shit happening at the gap
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tw for weight talk again etc etc :/
#so my grandmother wants a pair of my jeans for something. idk. so my mom is ordering a pair#and i sent her the size of the jeans i like and have worn for a few years now#and my mom was like well this is the size from a few years ago! dont you need a bigger pair??#why does she feel the need to point out that ive gained weight. the jeans still fit perfectly fine.#shes just gonna force me back into my starving and pacing around in my room for hours era#my mom singlehandedly has destroyed my entire view of weight and health#she had weightloss surgery and still calls herself fat and ugly etc#when at this point im larger then her#it makes me want to bang my head against a wall#it feels both easy and incredibly hard to fall back into old habits
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the difference between these two 🥺 both??
funny story though. my roommate is still taking food but my memory is so bad when it comes to things i don’t eat myself (adhd)
when i talk to friends and family about the situation the first thing they ask is, “are you sure you’re not sleep eating?” which is adorable. they wanna believe, even if for a second, that maybe i’m not truly at fault for making myself into such a cow 🥺 i get it bc im getting very fat even with the thievery but at the same time. im literally being gaslit
#by my roommate#every time j bring smthn up she’s like ‘oh??? that’s crazy??? wow’#snd she’s a bad liar but i’m such a pushover bc#i have had the fridge so filled with food i look like such a pig i can’t blame her#it’s FINE#but how cute. i wanna start sleep eating 🥺#funnel me in my sleep? make me confused as to how i’m gaining so fast?#i wanna ask someone why i’m having such a hard time moving around when im not eating a lot more#cuddle up to me n change the subject if i bring up how fast we ran out of heavy cream this time#<3#talk#ask#does this count for that tag?#what if my feeder gaslit me. in a cute sexy oh u cow kind of way#i swear the funnel moves after each night and i wake so full but obviously im just forgetting where we put it each day#it’s getting hard to fit through the doorway#obviously i’ve just been lazier than normal. no way im getting that fat#we knew i’d have mobility problems but so early on? i just need to get out#it’s not because he’s started to pump more calories into me anyway he can
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I see this and my brain just starts making the dial up noise
#rob lopez#røb#strawberry park#loveliveserve#youtubers#youtube#just 😵💫#no thoughts just tummy#men with tummies >>>#the way i would let this man do anything he wanted to me#this man soooo fine#daddddyyyy#ironic that i took this from the fat vs fit reaction episode#because once again#tummyyy#🙂↕️😮💨
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you know, I might be Stepping In It, but I really hate people's tendency to "you're lucky" when finding out someone's naturally skinny really piss me off.
I'm not saying there's not privilege to being skinny, there absolutely is in this fatphobic world. But as someone who has spent literally over half my life wishing I could gain any fucking weight ever it makes me so fucking mad. I've tried working out, I've had physically demanding jobs, I've tried, back when i could afford it, eating as much as I could handle. I have literal dysphoria about being skinny.
and then when I Go Off at a coworker for being the second person in a week to tell me I'm lucky- while wearing braces digging into my joints bc I am physically too small to wear them right but they don't get smaller- I'm told "oh but you have to realize we never considered the other side" sure! but I'm still allowed to get pissed! you would be too!
#personal;#i get it i GET IT we're not allowed to talk about skinny shaming.#I know this is nothing compared to what fat people have to go through#I know. I get it. I know.#but it's also so fucking invalidating to have to caveat my every complaint with 'other people have it worse'#like fuck maybe no one should be shamed for their bodies#maybe no one should be making off hand comments and assumptions about weight high OR low#like yeah the movement's not about me and i hate when ableds point out how accessibility can help THEM TOO so like#i get what I sound like#but I'm SO tired. I'm 29 and I've been trying to gain weight since i was like 13-15#I've never even managed to hit 130#I got close and then all my disabilities kept getting worse so then i couldn't work as much#and thus I can't afford food#so what i had built has been burnt#and I'm back to 120 and clinging with both hands to the hope I don't end up back at /115/ (I am 5'7". you can see my ribs)#like. I am NOT lucky. I can't sit or lay on a hard surface bc it hurts my bones#I can't cuddle well when I DO want to bc i'm just sharp bits#my proportions are so fucked that it's hard to find clothes that actually fit#like#I get it#I get what you're trying to say#but it hits trauma (ignored (JOKED ABOUT) eating disorder bc I'm skinny so it's Fine; repeated skinny shaming; etc)#and it's so exhausting not being allowed to be mad about it#If i had three wishes with no downsides the first would be to gain 50-100lbs and i've been saying that for over a decade#I'll probably regret posting this#ask to tag;
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None of my clothes fucking fit me anymore and I'm like leaning over the bathroom counter gritting my teeth going "this is fine this is fine this is fine" because I'm trying to dress cute for my night out but I haven't dressed cute in so long that none of my cool clothes fit me and I look ridiculous and I want to cry. I'm trying really hard to be okay with my weight but I have this really nice leather jacket I got for my birthday a few years ago and it's too small for me now.
#tw ed#I feel fine about my body until I realize how quickly I'm growing out of all my clothes#I've never been this size before I don't know what to buy#I can't order clothes online anymore and trying stuff on at the store isn't fun like it used to be because I don't like how I look#which is frustrating because like. I'm attracted to plenty of women who look like me!!#I don't think I'm unattractive or even unhealthily fat#but when I look in the mirror and I don't see a twig anymore it's like who is that. that's not me.#and I just keep gaining and gaining no matter what I do#but if I start restricting my diet I'm just gonna stop eating altogether and nothing is worse than that#I just wish I could still wear all the cute clothes I collected in my early 20s :/#that leather jacket being so tight. That's killing me#I don't even want to go out anymore :(#I need to go shopping and buy cute clothes that fit me. because all I wear most of the time now is t shirts and boy clothes#which is fine. but it's like this cycle of being frustrated that I own nothing cute and then buying nothing cute because I hate shopping no
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I lost weight since starting my job and I gotta say. I miss being thicc.
#other than my clothes not fitting I was pretty okay being a bit bigger#I looked fine I felt fine#and now it feels kind of weird having less fat on me#I miss having a fat ass and thighs
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I tried to encourage my cat to relax next to me on this conveniently cat-sized recessed platform by putting a pillow there. But I think Simon might be too big to use a standard throw pillow as a bed…
#Simon#my cat#he’s so large#not fat just BIG#he’s never used a cat bed or an enclosed cube or whatever#because they’re too small#he doesn’t fits so he doesn’t sits#he’s the size of a toddler and he sleeps in my arms#we’re both doing fine
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im aware that this is just like,,,the nature of food. but it’s kind of galling when something takes 5+ hours to make and the family member who had the least to do with its creation eats seventy five percent of it in fifteen minutes
#this is about my father eating like 35/50 of the pot stickers my sister spent all day cooking (there are four people in our family)#but it’s also about my father eating approximately the same proportion of the peirogis we make on Christmas Eve#(we being my mother sister and i while my father plays video games)#and also how my mother made him dinner and made me a separate thing i like very much the other night and he ate both#pretty much every day i eat five potato chips for breakfast and then like fifteen more for dinner lol#that’s fine no need to get fat over the summer#im buying a bathing suit from an asian company so i want it to fit my large American body lol#i wouldn’t want to have sons for many reasons but one being that men eat too much and it’s gross#And no men you don’t really need to eat that much sorry you’re not Michael Phelps and being male doesn’t mean you automatically need 4x#more calories than the average woman. It’s like maybe a little more than 2x + whatever’s needed when exercise is factored in#(Like 1200-1400 vs 2500-2800 i think)#If I had a husband and more than one male child I would need to make an honestly insane amount of food and then still not get to eat anythi#because it doesn’t matter how much you make. my mom makes a lot of food. If there’s still dinner and it’s something my father likes#he will just take all of it. I can’t imagine if there were other men in our family I think my sister and I would have starved to death lol
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cant find my og post of this but um. sometimes its not the fit of the clothes, some of you just dont like how fat people look in clothing <3
#not to say that designers and brands cant/dont fuck up how their clothes fit on fat ppl cause they DO#but most times how clothes will lay on a fat person will be different than a thin person. and thats FINE its OKAY we’re just as fucking hot#(more hot. actually)#.txt
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