#I know this is nothing compared to what fat people have to go through

[lesenbyan]

you know, I might be Stepping In It, but I really hate people's tendency to "you're lucky" when finding out someone's naturally skinny really piss me off.

I'm not saying there's not privilege to being skinny, there absolutely is in this fatphobic world. But as someone who has spent literally over half my life wishing I could gain any fucking weight ever it makes me so fucking mad. I've tried working out, I've had physically demanding jobs, I've tried, back when i could afford it, eating as much as I could handle. I have literal dysphoria about being skinny.

and then when I Go Off at a coworker for being the second person in a week to tell me I'm lucky- while wearing braces digging into my joints bc I am physically too small to wear them right but they don't get smaller- I'm told "oh but you have to realize we never considered the other side" sure! but I'm still allowed to get pissed! you would be too!

[cressidagrey]

It's a Love Story - Chapter 4

Summary:

Azriel's shadows find their master a wife.

Azriel would just really like his heart not to get broken again.

And Sky...well, she's just really surprised that that far too handsome male is interested in her at all.

Warning:

Rhys Bashing (as usual), I classified this as Azriel x OC, even when it't technically Azriel x Sellyn Drake (but we kinda know nothing about Sellyn Drake other than that she writes books so Sky is kinda an OC), Cassian is kinda a good guy for once, Azriel has a horrible time, as usual... Stuttering, toxic families (For once I do not mean the IC), Self-Esteem Issues, Secret Identity, Body Image Issues, Fat Shaming, People being utterly horrible.

If any of this triggers you or makes you uncomfortable, please take care of your own mental health and don't read it.

In that moment, Sky’s brain didn't function. 

She just sat there, staring at the gorgeous, gorgeous male across from her. She couldn’t think. Not when he looked like that. Not when he looked better than any figment her imagination had ever come up with…

He was…the most beautiful male Skylar Alden had ever seen. 

Everything about him was perfection. From his inky black hair, to his high, chiseled cheekbones, to his...his strong broad body that looked like it was just made to be pressed right up against hers. Gods...he looked like he was made from her deepest fantasies. He was...he was…

And then he gave her a slow, soft smile and her breath caught in her throat. 

Cauldron, he was  beautiful. Like every perfect fantasy she had ever had come to life. 

And he smelled even better than he looked, the scent of cedar and mist so mouthwateringly delicious she wanted to lick it straight off his damn skin. How a male could look this sinfully gorgeous and smell just as delicious, she didn't know. And he...he was smiling at her. Smiling at...her.

And she could feel the bond.

She could feel it.

Something…just clicked into place. Something in her chest shifted and it felt right and perfect and she just knew. 

Sky just knew that nobody else would ever come close to compare to him…

This was the male for her. He...he was hers.

Hers.

Her mate. 

Sky was a hopeless romantic. Maybe she needed to be that, so that she was able to write love stories for a living.

She loved love. She loved the whole fairytale, happily ever after fantasy. And looking at the male in front of her, it was like he came straight from the pages of her books.

But things like this didn’t happen to girls like her. She knew that. She knew that so well. She… he wasn’t going to want to…

Sky wasn't attractive enough, not interesting enough. Why would he choose her? Why would this gorgeous, gorgeous thing of beauty want to be with...someone like her?

It wouldn’t make sense. She wasn't...she wasn't anything special. He could do so much better than...than her.

She was so awkward, so plain. He was just...way out of her league.

“What’s wrong?” He asked her. Even his voice was perfect. One hand reached out for her, and she weakly registered the violent scars that covered it. They looked like they must have hurt. And then he seemingly thought better about it. “You…were happy.Now…”

That was the problem. She couldn't stop her stupid thoughts. They just kept on running through her brain, making her feel...feel self-conscious. Insecure. She was...she was just a mess. Always had been.

And she opened her mouth to respond but no word left her lips, her throat closing as she tried to say even a single sounds.

Tears shot in her eyes. Why? Just for one…just for one fucking time Sky didn’t want every word that left her mouth to be a fight.

But it was. And she tried to say a single thing but her body didn’t allow her, and her heart reatcheted up because she knew that she looked like an idiot but…She couldn't move. Couldn't...couldn't do anything but just sit there and cry like the pathetic, stupid mess she was. She didn't deserve him. He was...he was perfect. And Sky was just...useless.

He was just staring at her, looking...worried, probably so confused about why she was being like this. 

Stupid. So stupid. Like she always was. The tears kept falling, and she felt pathetic. So, so pathetic.

Her eyes closed as she fought back a sob, biting her lip so hard she tasted blood. It was...it was too humiliating, being like this in front of him. She probably looked like a total freak. She...she just wished he didn't have to see her like this.

He shouldn't have to see her like this, see her being an absolute mess because she didn't know how to act like a normal person. She could feel him move, and her breath hitched. He...he was probably about to leave. She...she didn't blame him, really. She was an embarrassment.

But then a warm, broad hand was on top of her own trembling fingers, covering her with his own. Her eyes flew open from the shock, her lips parting in surpris, his gorgeous eyes fixed on hers as he gently stroked the back of her hands with his thumb.

“Take a deep breath, love. It’s alright,” he soothed her softly. “It’s alright.”

She could feel her heart flutter as his voice washed over her, warm like a balm over a burn. It just made her want to cry even more, because he...he was being so nice. So gentle with her, even though he probably thought that she was being utterly ridiculous.

“I…I….I am so….so…sorry.” Her stutter was so bad. Clearly at its worst. Worse than it even was when she didn’t have enough sleep.

She felt tears sliding down her cheeks even harder, her vision getting blurry as she tried to avoid his eyes. Her stupid, stupid stutter always got worse when she was upset. Like her brain shut down and she just...lost the ability to form basic sentences.

She tried to calm down, tried to stop crying, but it just kept going. The tears didn't stop, and god, she must've looked completely pathetic.

"I'm s-sorry." she sobbed, her voice a wretched, strangled sound as she tried to stop the shaking that wracked her entire body. She just wanted...she just wanted to be calm. To be normal.

And he had probably even heard Claire. Had probably heard every barbed word her sister had thrown in her direction.

The thought made her want to wail as the tears fell harder, her breathing growing laboured and uneven. He would never want her now. Not after she had embarrassed herself like this. Not after she just...sat here and cried and stuttered like an idiot.

She tried to pull away from his grasp, but he didn't let her, gently taking her hands in his. His fingers felt so warm on hers, and his touch was so, so gentle. It just made the tears fall even harder, an ugly, broken sound wrenching from her throat.

Sky wanted to stop, she wanted to stop crying and being so hysterical, but her stupid, worthless brain wouldn't co-operate.

And then suddenly he enveloped her against a broad chest, strong arms settling sround her. He was hugging her

It was like every fiber of her being froze, her heart nearly stopping as she felt his arms encircle her. It was like...like some kind of dream. He was hugging her, hugging her like she was precious to him, like he...he truly cared about her. After all of Sky’s awkwardness, and stupid, pathetic crying...he still was holding her like this.

“Breath,” he told her softly. “It’s alright. Whatever is wrong, we’ll fix it.”

She took a deep, trembling breath, his scent washing over her. It was like he was everywhere, his arms tight and yet gentle around her, his broad chest pressed against hers, his cedar and mist scent in her nose. It just...it just made the tears fall all the more harder, a small, broken sob wringing itself from her throat.

Of course, his scent was just as amazing as he was. And it made her feel...feel safe. Like nothing could hurt her as long as he was there, like he would protect her from everything and anything. 

She buried her head in his chest, trying to block out the rest of the world as she held onto him so tightly she was sure she was probably hurting him. But still he didn't move, still he let her cling to him as she cried so hard it made her shake.

For once in her life Sky felt delicate in his grasp. She wasn’t thin at all, but against him…she felt small. She felt so safe pressed against him.Secure. Like she could let him hold her forever as she sobbed so hard she was practically convulsing. She knew he probably thought she was being pathetic, but still...but still, he was hugging her.

It was like she couldn't breathe. Her heart was hammering so hard against her ribcage that it hurt to even draw in oxygen, her emotions completely overwhelming her. 

She could feel his fingers running through her brown curls, and the touch just made her cry even harder. She must have looked so awful, so miserable, but he just...he just held her like this. Like she mattered to him, like she wasn't a total, pathetic mess.

And finally…finally Sky managed to calm down.

It took a long while, but eventually, the sobs eased into small, shallow breaths as she curled up against his strong chest. Sky still felt...awful. Like a total idiot. But at least the tears had stopped.

“I….i am sor…sorry.” She managed to bring out.

“There is nothing you need to apologise for,” he told her gently, one hand still delicately rubbing her spine.

“I…I cri…cried all o…over you.”Her voice sounded scratchy and broken from all the crying, and she was so deeply ashamed of it. He probably thought she sounded ridiculous. But she took another deep breath and pressed on, trying to speak through her tears, her stupid stutter still making it hard for her to even form a single word.

He held out a handkerchief for her and she whiled away the tears.

She blinked a few times, staring at the piece of fabric. He...he was giving her something to dry her tears, because she was such a pathetic mess that she had completely soaked the front of his shirt. Shame made heat rise in her cheeks, but she took the handkerchief from him.

She dabbed away at her wet lashes, her voice weak and raspy as she spoke. "T-thank you," she said quietly, still not being able to meet his eyes. She still felt so humiliated, but also so, so grateful that he was still here, that he hadn't left yet.

Sy knew she probably looked completely dreadful, all red-eyed and blotchy from all the crying, her hair mess and tangled from where he had run his fingers through it. 

She wanted to curl up and die from the shame of it all. Of being such a stupid, messy, emotional wreck. She must have looked like such an idiot, but somehow, somehow he was still here. 

"Will you tell me your name?" he asked her softly.

Sky felt her heartbeat quicken as he spoke, as his voice washed over her. Of course. Of course he didn't even know her name. She had been so caught up in her little pity party that she hadn't even introduced herself yet. A fresh wave of tears filled her eyes, but she blinked them away as best as she was able.

"S---Sky," she managed to bring out. She grimaced at her stutter.  "S...Sorry." She didn't dare to try and say anything else. Didn't dare to try an ask him for his name, because otherwise she was going to stutter even more.

"There is absolutely nothing you need to apologise for," he repeated fiercely. "I am Azriel."

His words made something in her heart quicken, her stomach fluttering in a way that it shouldn't. A small, shaky breath left her lips at the sound of his name, and she couldn't help but repeat it to herself quietly in her head. Azriel. His name suited him perfectly.

She looked up at him, finally looking at him properly, only to find that he was looking right back at her, those deep, hazel eyes fixed on her in a way that made her heart stutter in her chest. She probably looked awful, a total wreck, and yet he was still looking at her like that.

She opened her mouth to try and speak, but only a tiny, broken squeak left her lips. So she tried again, forcing the words out from between her lips. "Azriel." His name felt so good on her lips, even if her voice broke on the second syllable, but still, she had managed to say it.

He smiled that beautiful smile of his once more, and the sight of it made her want to cry all over again. How was it that this perfect male was still here, was still looking at her like...like she was something precious? Like she was anything other than a total wreck?! She just...she just wanted to die from the humiliation of it all.

"Tell me what's wrong." It wasn't as much a statement as much as it was an order. "You were happy. And then you just..."

She sniffled, trying to stop herself from crying even more than she already had. It was hard, her eyes blinking as tears continued to well up and fall. "It's..." She took in a raspy, stuttering breath, her lips trembling. "It's ju…ju…st...just me being...being stu…stupid."

"Somehow I find that hard to believe," Azriel responded, his voice flat. "Take a deep breath. And then tell me what's wrong so I can fix this."

She blinked a few times, looking at him. He was so...straightforward. Direct. So commanding, but also so gentle. Like he actually cared. She felt...she felt so, so unworthy of that. She didn't deserve his kindness, not after acting like a complete lunatic. Still, she obeyed, taking a deep, shaky breath before trying to speak.

"You...You de…de…deserve bet…better than…than me," she whispered. Her voice was quiet, little more than a whisper, and she felt her throat thicken as she spoke. It was true, and she...she couldn't believe he was being so gentle with her. Not with how ridiculous she was being.

He stared at. "What."

She looked down, focusing her eyes on her hands that were clutched in her lap. His own hand was still resting gently on the nape of her neck. "I...I am..." She took a deep breath, forcing herself to try to explain. "You...You…you are…you. And I…I am…me.” He was so handsome. And she wasn’t beautiful in the slightest. 

Sky blinked a few times, trying not to start crying even more than she had already done. It was just so...hard. So hard to admit how...how unworthy she was of him. He was amazing, and she was a total mess. 

A complete emotional disaster.

And he was going to realise that one day and leave or cheat on her with her sister and that was going to crush her heart and...

She tried so hard to blink away the tears that welled up in her eyes. She knew...she knew that this was just a temporary thing. That he was only being this kind to her out of pity. He would see how awful she truly was, and he would leave, just like everyone else did.

"Cauldron, Love, they really did a number on you," he breathed.

She sniffled, wiping the tears that fell from her cheeks. She knew that. She knew that she was unloveable. That there was something fundamentally wrong with her. And she hated it. 

"You…you'll cho…ch…choose s…s…somebody el…else and…and I get it b…but it's go…going to h…hurt and..." she croaked out.

"I am not going to choose somebody else," he cut her off. "You are my mate."

She blinked, her heart stuttering in her chest at his words. It felt...it felt like a dream. It didn't feel real. There was no way, just no way in Hell that someone like him was her mate. She was...there was absolutely no universe where she deserved him.

"That means that until you tell me to disappear off the face of this earth, you are stuck with me," he told her softly. "That means, that I will always choose you. I will always be on your side. I will protect you and I will shelter you."

She just stared at him as her heart hammered so hard against her ribcage that she wanted to pass out. Was he....was...was he being serious? Even as broken and awful as she was...how she had just completely fallen apart in front of him....he was still...he was still saying that she was...was his mate? That he would...that he would always choose her? Protect her...shelter her?

Her side...nobody had ever seemingly been on her side.

"I..." She was at a total loss for words. Him...him wanting to...to protect her? To shelter her? It was everything she had ever wanted. But she was so, so terrified that it was all...temporary. That the moment he saw her for all the broken, damaged things that she really was...that he would leave. Everyone always left.

He lifted his hand and she leaned against it as he cupped her cheek, wiping away even more tears. "You are my mate," Azriel repeated softly. "And if I had dared to approach while your sister was still there, I probably would have wrung your sister’s neck for what she said to you."

Sky felt a small, trembling smile begin to curl at her lips. He...he was her mate. She still couldn't believe it, but there it was. He was her mate, and he actually wanted her. Not only did he want her, but he was willing to...to defend her. To protect her. To stand up for her, even against her own sister. It was more than she could ever have asked for, more than she had ever hoped for herself. And the thought...the thought of that nearly made her cry all over again.

"It's…It’s bet…better to just…to just let Cla…Claire get it out of her sys…system and not inter…in…interrupt her," she said weakly. "She runs out of steam eventual…eventually."

"You shouldn't let her speak to you like that," Azriel said softly, his hand still resting gently against her cheek. "You shouldn't have to endure her venom."

She swallowed thickly, her throat tight. She knew that, she knew that she shouldn't let Claire speak to her in such a horrible way, that she should defend herself. But...but it had just never happened. She had always been too caught up in her own head, too afraid of...of doing something wrong. Of making everything worse instead of better. Because it always seemed to end up worse whenever she tried to stand up for herself.

But...but hearing him say it....hearing him tell her that she didn't have to put up with Claire's horrible words...it made something flutter in her chest. Something akin to hope. The thought that maybe....maybe she didn't need to listen to Claire's vicious words, that maybe...maybe she could stand up for herself after all.

"She's the fa…fa…favourite," she said weakly. "Always…s wa..was. The pret…prettier one."

She sniffled, her stomach twisting at the thought of it. Claire had always been the preferred one, the one that everyone adored. And Skye had always been...well, the other one. The one that nobody wanted to be around, the one that everyone was constantly criticizing.

"She's bone deep ugly," Azriel snapped right back. "There is nothing attractive about her at all." She could just stare at him.

She blinked at him, almost in shock at his words. No one ever said things like that about Claire. Everyone was always so busy praising her beauty and her grace and her charm, but never a single one of them would ever say a single negative thing about her. But here was Azriel, outright saying that Claire wasn't attractive at all. It was...it was hard to even wrap her head around.

"You say tha…that now," Sky said weakly.She swallowed thickly, her heart clenching at the very thought of him ever changing his mind. She knew....she knew that it was a very real possibility. He might think her worthy of him now, but as soon as he got to know her....how pathetic and broken and damaged she was. The thought of losing this....losing him...it made her stomach twist painfully.

She sniffled again, wiping tears away from her cheeks, her voice weak and broken. "You won…won't think tha..that..." she whispered. "When you...when you know me more. You'll think I'm path…pathetic, too. Just like Claire does. Just like every…everyone does."

The words felt like acid in her throat, like a knife twisting through her heart. She knew that it was true, that he would think her pathetic, too. He was only being so kind to her now because he didn't really know her yet. Once he got to know her....once he saw all the broken pieces that made her up....he would realize just how unworthy she was of him.

"I think that you spent your whole life being talked to like that, and that no fucking accolade you ever got was something you take seriously." Azriel's words were harsh, and they made her come up short. 

Sky had always thought that maybe...maybe the next time she achieved something her parents would be proud of her. That they would finally tell her that she had done well. But it had never happened. They were never proud of her accomplishments, no matter how good they were. She was never good enough for them, never anything enough for them. They always just...just told her that she needed to do better. That she had the capacity to do better. That it was her fault she hadn't.

And when she had published her first book...she hadn't wanted them to ruin that for her. So she had kept it a secret from them. Then the 2nd. And the 3rd. Book after book after book. People liked what she wrote. People bought her books. And still it felt like...it wasn't real.

No matter how many books she sold, it never felt like it counted. It never felt like she had actually achieved something. And no matter how much money she had in the bank, no matter how well she fed herself or kept a roof over her head, it just...it all felt like it was built on a fragile foundation. Like it could all come falling down around her at any moment, leaving her alone, cold, and broken. 

Just like how this mating bond could seemingly break just at a snap of his fingers.

That feeling only got worse when she thought about the bond between her and Azriel. It was so new, so fragile, and she knew that he could break it if he wanted to. He didn't have to keep it, didn't have to stay by her side. He could just...just walk away and leave her in the dust. The thought made her stomach clench painfully, her eyes stinging with more tears.

"I don't want your sister. I want you," he told her softly. "You are my mate, Sky. Turn me down if you don't want me, but don't do it because you think that I don't want you. Because I do. I have never wanted anything in my life more."

His words made her heart sing, the warmth of them filling her chest to bursting. She...she didn't think she had ever been wanted in her entire life. Her parents had always been so quick to shove her aside, to tell her that she was worthless and a failure. But Azriel....he actually wanted her. He actually saw something worth keeping in her. It was more than she had ever dreamed of, the thought so impossibly perfect that it made her feel like she was going to burst into tears all over again.

Sky just stared at him, unsure of what to say, how to respond to such an open expression of adoration from him. She had never been good at accepting compliments or affection, her automatic response was always to push it away. But here was Azriel, telling her that he wanted her, that she was his mate. And how could she even think about pushing that away? How could she even consider rejecting the best thing that had ever happened to her? It was an impossible thought, one that left her feeling awed and speechless.

So instead of saying anything, Sky simply reached for him, wrapping her arms around him and hugging him tightly, burying her face in his neck. She felt safe here, in his arms, like nothing could hurt her as long as he was holding her close. And in that moment, she felt more than anything that this, this was where she belonged. 

In his arms, with Azriel as her mate. It was everything she had ever wanted, and she was determined to hold onto it as tightly as she possibly could.

"I won't ev..ever turn you down," she whispered. "I was waiting for you for de…decades."

"Decades? Try half a millennia," Azriel responded.

Azriel's words made her heart stutter in her chest, her stomach twisting with butterflies. He...he had waited for her for so long?

All that time, he had been waiting patiently for his mate, and that mate had been her? It was more than she could even wrap her head around. She had always thought that no one would ever want her, that she was destined to be alone, and yet here he was, telling her that he had been waiting for her for centuries.

So Sky just clung to him, her eyes stinging with a fresh wave of tears. She couldn't believe it, couldn't believe that she was actually so important to someone. That she had actually been....been wanted by someone.She felt so unbelievably lucky, and all she wanted to do was hold on to this feeling for as long as possible. This feeling of being loved and wanted and...and worthy.

She sat back, even when she wanted nothing else but to keep being held by him, managing a weak smile. Sky couldn’t help but stare at him, couldn’t help but take in the black hair and dark hazel eyes that glinted green…and then her gaze snagged at the pair of massive, ferocious wings that sprouted from his back.

“You are Il…Illyrian?” she asked, surprise colouring her voice.

She didn't know why she was so surprised. Maybe because because there weren’t a lot of illyrians that lived in Velaris…maybe because he really didn’t seem to match the picture that most books she had read about them and their culture painted about them. 

His wings were… magnificent. Azriel’s wings were so massive, so huge and powerful, and they seemed to span an impossible distance even when  he had them folded carefulyl against his back. 

“What gave it away?” He quipped, though the ere was a grimace on his face. “I am not…whatever you may have heard…”

She flinched slightly, feeling a small pang of guilt at her reaction to his wings. She knew that Illyrians had a reputation for being brutal and ruthless, but she hadn't meant to make Azriel feel uncomfortable or ashamed of his heritage. 

"I am sor…sorry," she said sheepishly. “I was…just su…surprised. There aren’t a lot of Il…Illyrians around Velaris. I've never seen wings like yours before, j…just read about them. They're beautiful."

She looked up at him, hoping that he could see the sincerity in her gaze. She didn't want him to feel like she was judging him based on his species, or that she was scared of him just because he was Illyrian or a lesser Fae. 

“I…I got some River Nymph blood some…somewhere down the line,” she told him.”It’s the family s…scandal.”

He chuckled at that, even as he mustered her.“Your eyes,” he realised aloud, and she nodded

She blushed slightly, her heart leaping at the thought of him noticing such a small detail about her. To know that he had taken the time to observe her eyes, to notice the faint turquoise hue that came from the bit of River Nymph blood flowing through her veins, regardless of how diluted it was…It made her feel like he truly saw her, not just the broken, damaged parts of her, but everything that made her who she was.

“Gre…Great grandma from my dads s..side,” she explained. “I was the only one who got the eyes…and the bendy bones.” She had always been seen as the odd one in her family. The outcast. Growing up, it had been hard to know where she fit in. Her parents had always been so focused on her brother and her sister, on their achievements and successes, and she had always felt like she was just...there. Just existing in the background, never quite good enough to be noticed or noticed for all the wrong reasons.

“Tell me more,” Azriel requested softly, reaching out to hold her hand again.

“More of what?” she wondered, blushing slightly. 

“More about you. I want to know everything.”

Her heart skipped a beat at his request. He...he wanted to know more about her? He actually wanted to listen to her, to hear what she had to say? The thought was almost enough to make her cry all over again. No one had ever asked her about herself before, no one had ever expressed an interest in her life or her thoughts. She had always been the one listening to others, never the one being listened to…especially not with her stutter. 

”I am not that interes…interesting,” Sky said weakly.She had always been self-conscious about what she liked and didn't like, always been afraid that others would judge her for her preferences. Even the thought of telling Azriel what she enjoyed doing for fun made her feel nervous and unsure. She didn't want him to think she was boring or uninteresting, and yet...and yet she also wanted to be honest with him. She wanted him to know who she really was, even if that meant showing all her quirks and flaws.

“I write boo…books for a..for a living,” Sky told him “R…Romance novels. And I have a cat named Hector that’s …that’s ador…adorable.”

Azriel grinned at her. “I can’t wait to meet him.” She blushed at that thought. 

She had always been nervous about talking to people, about opening up and letting them know who she was, but with Azriel...it felt different. It felt right.

“What…What do you do?” Sky wondered quietly.

“I work for the High Lord,” Azriel answered. “I…gather intelligence, I guess you could say.”

"Intelligence?" she asked curiously. She had never heard of anyone who did something like that before. It sounded like a dangerous job, one that required a lot of skill and training. Azriel nodded, his expression serious. 

"Yes. I gather information about...about threats to our court. About the dangers that lurk in the world around us."

She shivered slightly at the thought of some of the dangers that Azriel had to face on a regular basis. On the things that he was confronted with every single way…He was doing what was necessary to protect their people from harm. SHe knew that it must took a lot of courage and determination to do a job like that, and she couldn’t help but feel a wave of respect for him.

Sky took a deep breath, "Is it....is it danger…dangerous? Gathering all that…all that information?" She asked nervously. "I…I mean, do…do you ev…ever...get hurt?"

Azriel's expression darkened, and he hesitated for a moment before answering. "Sometimes," he admitted. "There are always risks involved in what I do. I have been injured before, but I have also been very lucky. I have survived so far."

She shivered at the thought of him being hurt, of him being in danger. Sky couldn't bear the thought of him being harmed, of him being in pain. She wanted to protect him, to keep him safe from all the horrors of the world. It was a feeling she had never experienced before, this overwhelming need to protect someone else. But with Azriel, she felt it with every fiber of her being. She would do anything to keep him safe, to make sure he never got hurt again.

Sky took his hand in hers, gripping it tightly. "Please…Please be careful," she whispered, her eyes full of fear and worry. "I…I don't want an…anything to happen to you." I don't want to lose you. The words were unspoken, but she knew that he could hear them in her voice, in the way her fingers trembled against his.

“I am careful,” he promised her seriously. “Besides, I am not exactly on my own,” he told her seriously.

She raised an eyebrow, curiosity getting the better of her. "You…You're not on…on your own?" she asked, surprised. "Who…Who do you work with then?"

A moment later…she got her answer in the form of wreathing shadows, that welled up behind him.

For a moment Sky could just blink. 

Then: “You are a shadowsinger?!” She breathed in wonder. 

She had read about it, of course…when she had a whole phase of thinking how cool it would be if she had some kind of special powers. Sadly, there never had any manifested. No shadows for her…or mind reading either. 

Azriel chuckled softly at her reaction. "Yes," he said simply. "It's a useful skill in my line of work."

She stared at him in awe. She had read stories of the fabled shadowsingers, of their ability to control shadows and use them to do their bidding. But she had never actually met one before. They were…stupidly rare.” But clearly Azriel was one. 

“Do…Do they…talk to you?” She asked him curiously.

Azriel nodded, a smile tugging at his lips. "Yes, they do," he said. "They have their own personality and quirks, and I can communicate with them in a way that no one else can. It's a unique connection, one that I…I have grown to cherish."

They were important to him.

So Sky did the only polite thing. “It’s…nice to meet you.” She greeted them, holding out a hand. 

Azriel's shadows seemed to pause for a moment, as if taken aback by her greeting. Then they swirled around her, brushing against her skin in a gesture of introduction. 

She couldn't help but smile at the sensation of the shadows brushing against her skin, their touch neither hot nor cold. They seemed almost sentient, like they had a mind of their own. It was both strange and fascinating at the same time. "Do you have…a name?" she asked curiously.

Azriel chuckled. "No, they don’t have a name. It's just...the shadows."

She nodded in understanding. They did seem…weirdly alive. And they were so responsive to Azriel's commands, so attuned to his needs and desires, that it was hard not to think of them as a separate entity in their own right.

But still…as she wiggled her fingers and the shadows wove between them, she couldn’t help but wonder…

"What...what d…do you wan..want from me?" Sky asked him softly. What did he want? What did he expect? 

Azriel's expression softened, and he reached out to cup her cheek gently in his hand. "I want...I want whatever you are willing to give me," he said quietly. "I want to be there for you, to support you and protect you. I want to make you happy, to make you feel loved and cherished. And I want...I want to be your mate, if you'll have me."

Sky bit her lip, leaning into his touch. "I…I want that t…too," she admitted quietly. "And I really want a family one day. I want kids," she told him. 

"I want that too," he said softly, his voice full of warmth and love. "I want everything with you, Sky. All of it."

She couldn't help but smile at that admission. Hearing him say that He wanted the same thing, hearing him say that He wanted to build a future with her...it was like a dream come true. And then Skylar Alden who had always overthought everything in her life, made this one decision: "Then take me home."

[fatphobiabusters]

Hey, I wanted to ask if you maybe have any book recs about nutrition that aren't steeped in fatphobia? my friend is trying to learn more about nutrition and change her eating habits, and i want to give her a gift

We spoke separately on this, sorry for the late reply but I can now officially recommend a book for your friends next birthday!

Gentle Nutrition: A Non-Diet Approach to Healthy Eating

Absolutely 10/10 would recommend. It's from a registered dietician, has plenty of sources!

I can't summerize or even list all the topics covered. Here's just a sample:

Introducing intuitive eating, recognizing diet culture, the thinness obsession, the types of hunger we feel, what factors actually contribute to health, diet cycling, hunger cues, why BMI is BS, how to make small changes gradually, the effects of weight stigma and stress on the body.

And so much more.

It introduces so many concepts and issues we touch on here on the blog and questions people have about health and some fat issues. (Not every single issuse but it does tackle the health based fatphobic arguments just by the process of tearing down diet culture. Even mentions medical neglect/fatphobia. Other literature is out there on the full scope of fatphobia and its harms.)

I'm particularly interested in this section. I'm delighted by graphs and then the explanations for them!

Theres so much I want to directly beam into people. My primary complaint is I wish there was MORE advice for people with body cue reading problems. There is some advice but more would be nice.

I also appreciated this:

Im someone who has good textures and bad textures (mild compared to some) but ask me which ones and I'd be stumped because I tell you dishes I like but otherwise ??? So this helps me think.

While flipping through it I keep finding more things to gush about this really is such a good starting point because it will touch on so many weight and diet culture topics.

This is disjointed because this book covers so much I want to try and encourage peopleto check it out but my brain go Brrrr from excitement. It's not perfect, nothing can be but it's just so nice to have a book I can recommend that covers both what you want and doesn't shy away from the complex web of diet culture. It tries to met a new reader where they are and I just Brrrrr. You know?

-mod squirrel

[foodfightnovelization]

ROTTEN: Behind The Foodfight

Holy chips! It's an exciting time to be a Foodfight! fan, because ROTTEN: Behind The Foodfight is finally out! This really is THE definitive documentary on the insanity behind the movie, and it finally answers the question of just what was going on behind the scenes during production. Since I helped out with research (and I even get a short line of dialogue at 45:19) I've already seen everything that was shown off, but had to keep quiet until all the interviews were conducted and the documentary was finished. But now it's out and everything has been made public, the cat's out of the bag (the Fat Cat Burglar?) and I can talk about all the production material that's been shared.

Before I get into any of that though, I'd highly recommend you watch the documentary for yourself. It's insanely well researched and put together, and having worked together with Ziggy Cashmere (the documentary's creator) I know how hard he dedicated himself towards making this all possible. If it weren't for him, the most interesting Foodfight! discovery would've been finding the novelization, and we would have never gotten any real insight into how this movie came to be. It's also a documentary that really speaks for itself- I don't want to say too much about what it reveals since it's all expressed far better through its narrative and the interviews with people who actually worked on the project. My favorite is the interview with texture artist Mona Weiss- she tells such horrifying stories about how she was treated by Larry and other crewmembers, yet does it all with a sense of humor that makes it clear she's enjoying getting to talk about her crazy experiences. It's clear Foodfight! was an unmitigated disaster from start to finish, and there's nobody to blame for that but Larry Kasanoff himself. The movie was rotten from the top down and despite the countless talented animators and artists working on it, nothing could fix the fact that it was fundamentally mismanaged in the worst way possible. I think the quote from producer George Johnsen summarizes it best: "Foodfight! was a good idea that unfortunately lost its way during production. The technology, the art, and the direction were not in sync. Many very talented people gave their all to make the picture, but more understanding of process from the top was needed for it to succeed."

But if you saw the documentary, you already know all that, right? So instead, let's talk about the behind-the-scenes material that's finally been shared! You can find everything I'll talking about HERE on archive.org-

It's worth following the link and checking it out for yourself- there's so much it'd impossible to discuss everything. Artwork, storyboards, bloopers, models, a nude render of Lady X, an interview with Larry Kasanoff, the list goes on and it's still being updated! Despite the documentary already being out, people who worked on the movie are continuing to share new material! It's pretty incredible- for the past year I've ran this blog all I've really had to discuss are two tie-in books, and now there's so much Foodfight! material I can't even keep up with it.

I mean LOOK at all this, isn't it fantastic? The character art by Jim George showing off just how much better these designs originally were, the countless environments showing off just how stunning Marketropolis could've looked as well as the strength of the core idea "what if a supermarket came to life at night", and insanely detailed storyboards for a 7-minute pitch reel that was used to sell the movie to investors. Normally, I'd be ALL OVER this because it's all just incredible, but there's something far, FAR more fascinating than any of it.

There are even multiple drafts of the script (one from 2005 and one from 2007 respectively) and normally I'd be insanely fascinated by those too, making extremely detailed posts explaining the differences between the drafts and how they compare to the novelization, but there's something else that was found that blows ALL of this out of the water and is easily one of the most monumental lost media discoveries of ALL TIME.

That's right, a rough cut of the ENTIRE movie from 2005 has been found, containing nearly ALL the completed animation from earlier on in production. I mean, that's mindblowing right? We first got sent this around a month ago, a little while before the documentary came out, and I literally stopped everything I was doing at work to just sit and watch this. This is the closest we're ever going to get to the "original" version of Foodfight! after all- only 7 minutes of footage was ever actually made before they switched to mocap, made solely for the aforementioned pitch reel, and this workprint contains practically all of it! On top of that there are some great storyboards in here, as well as some truly hilarious ones cobbled together from 3D renders, and the plot is far better than what we ended up with, a lot of the more inappropriate jokes being absent. This rough cut is actually pretty similar to the novelization in that regard, and it also contains scenes that we'd previously only read about in there.

For example, in the novelization there's a snowmobile chase through the mountains, with Brand X soldiers on snowmobiles and a heavy avalanche close behind. This scene was completely left out of the movie itself, but in this workprint it's here! ALL the previously novelization-exclusive scenes are included, and this rough cut is seemingly based on an even earlier draft of the script than that- here Brand X are still defeated by a flood, whereas by the time of the novelization it'd been changed to a lightning storm. There are SO many exciting differences in this workprint, the snippets of original animation we get to see are SO good, and it's SO much better than the movie itself that I think it by far deserves the crown as the DEFINITIVE version of Foodfight! There's so much in it I want to discuss, that there's no way I can fit it all into this one post...so stay tuned, because in the next few days I'll be doing a FULL analysis of the 2005 workprint, pointing out all the extra brand mascots not in the finished film, and generally just gushing about how amazing it is.

I mean, this is it. Just take it all in for a second- the original footage was considered lost media for over a decade, and now it's practically been found in its entirety, embedded in an early cut of the whole movie...isn't that just phenomenal? All the mysteries have been unraveled, all the questions have been answered, and now we can relax, take a deep breath, and watch Foodfight!...the REAL Foodfight! Make sure to enjoy it, and join me next time for my analysis!

[contentloadingandstuff]

(NSFW) Perfect Match - Tighnari x Fem!Tighnarian!Reader

A/N: Here's the third fem reader post for the few that happen to be on this blog. It's been some time since I last wrote a fic like this, but it's always nice to have a switch of perspective. As usual, and especially with this one as fem reader is not my forte, I'd really appreciate any thoughts and feedback you might have. Enjoy! CW: Tighnari is a little feral, reader and Tighnari go into heat, the usual smut.

Tighnari is such a contrast. Daily, he's quiet, patient and gentle (unless the circumstances demand something more than words), but when the heat grows, he turns just a little bit feral with you. 

The reason? Simple - he loves you. Oh, yeah, and the hormones also play a part in melting his needy brain. 

You've been together for some time now and Tighnari's instincts gave you the tag of his mate and he acted accordingly long before really acknowledging this. And, speaking honestly, he doesn't mind acting a little instinctual as long as you're fine with it. 

Keeping you close and protecting you is what he is meant to do with you as his female. Tighnari frequently takes the initiative in simple, everyday matters. Need to get out of a crowd? He's already holding your hand and guiding you safely through the people to a quieter place. When cuddling in bed, he always shifts to be the big spoon, security your smaller, warm body in his hold, close - just as you should be. If there is any imminent danger, you'll quickly find yourself gently pushed back behind him by his arm.  

He'll get possessive at times too. When he notices any other male forest rangers eyeing you with the curiosity you've got accustomed too - ears and a tail as beautiful as yours draw attention, obviously - his hand will make its way to your hip and stay there. When it's the heat season, Tighnari will also get quite defensive with you. If anybody is as little as unkind to you, he will step in to get them off your back. With all this comes a little bit of obvious suspicion, but simple communication is always enough to ease his worries about any of the other men you’re colleagues or friends with. 

Does it all bother you? Oh, not at all! How could it when every inch of him just radiates this unexplainable male allure you can't get enough of? 

There's something fascinating about the way he carries himself that you can't quite explain. It's how decisive he is, it's in the unique tone of his voice, it's in his subtly dominant nature. Your eyes pick up seemingly trivial things that you can't help but marvel at. You love how strong he is, be that due to his Vision or just how he is - nothing makes you more excited than being picked up (and pinned down too!). He does this with such ease too…

Being a young hybrid, Tighnari has his needs that, if not satiated, make him grumpy and quite irritated. If you're not feeling like it, he'll understand - as any good partner should. Which doesn't mean he won't be disappointed, mind you. A horny Tighnari significantly increases your chances of stumbling upon him furiously stroking himself or hearing his needy moans in the night as he blows another unsatisfying load. 

Even though his hand was enough to keep his lust at bay, it was hardly satisfying. Luckily, the days of jerking the edge off are gone now. Why cum into a tissue when he can empty his balls inside you? Compared to his hand your fertile, warm and wet pussy feels like absolute heaven…

… And his fat, pulsating cock is the ideal extinguisher for the fire in your womb. Your hybrid nature leaves you just as prone to bursts of irresistible arousal as him. Your heat might be a single month at the start of the year, but living alongside a fellow tighnarian makes your brain buzz with hormones. 

Between the two of you, there's a simple rule - when you're horny, you fuck. He knows well that when his thoughts wander, there's no way of fighting them off. That's when he'll signal his needs to you. Looking at you with those smug bedroom eyes, for example, is a clear sign that Tighnari would like to see you on the bed head-down-ass-up in the immediate future. 

Usually, it's your smell that catches his attention. His sensitive nose can pick it up flawlessly each time. Your scent is gentle, with only the slightest hint of musk included in the mix. You'll find Tighnari cuddling especially tightly in the mornings or after physical activity when your pheromones are at their strongest. It won't take much time for his hands to wander and his cock to harden. 

His scent is the perfect moisturizer for your pussy, yes, but it's also a little bothersome. Because. It. Is. Everywhere. On the pillows, on the couch, on the chairs, inside every room from the bedroom down to even the closet. In the first two months of the year it's just straight up impossible to ignore it or distract yourself from your husband's pheromones. Sometimes you're wondering if your ancestors were idiotic enough to not breed by themselves,  forcing evolution into giving them this neuron activation upon catching a whiff of dick or pussy. 

For example, doing laundry is tricky to do without getting flustered or horny. Tighnari’s musk is, obviously, the strongest on his clothes. So whenever you pick up one of his shirts or boxers and your sensitive nose finds just how strong his smell is, you suddenly become flustered and very interested in what's under the pair he is wearing right now. 

Luckily for you, Tighnari is a good husband and will fuck his cute little wife senseless when she needs it, and you’re more than glad to return the favour when he is in need. It's a simple instinct. You're his mate, and he is yours. Your scents are impossible to ignore, sending the more primal parts of your brains a simple message - you're both young, beautiful, healthy and ready to breed. Around him, your pussy clenches at nothing, your womb longing to be filled with baby-making cum, and around you his balls ache from all the creamy, virile seed he is making for you. 

This awareness, awareness of you being ripe for the picking, makes you irresistible for him. 

Although Tighnari's cock might be average in size, what he lacks in length he makes up for in sex drive and pure ferocity. He can fuck fast and he can fuck hard. He won't be stopping himself from manhandling you - you'll surely be surprised by just how strong a male like him can be. Whatever playful resistance efforts you may make and regardless of how much force you put into them, Tighnari will just growl and pin you down every single time. 

Primal play always gets him hot and bothered. In bed, he's the natural lead. He's the hungry predator, and you're his cute little prey. Struggle all you can, but at the end there's no escape from a thorough breeding. His hybrid stamina lets him cum again and again with barely any downtime between powerful orgasms that fill your insides with warm cum. 

His go to position is prone bone. Having your smaller, feminine body pinned under his weight, your hands locked under his and your pretty mouth desperately biting the sheets as he forces his swollen knot in and out of you drives him positively feral. Doggy style is also quite fun. Grabbing your tail and pulling it away to reveal your tight little asshole and drenched pussy lips is extremely satisfying. Sometimes he grabs your head and pulls it back, thoroughly enjoying the sight of your long ears folding in submission. 

While he isn't too much into receiving oral, he won't ever pass up the opportunity to feast on your pussy. If you give him the chance to, you'll find Tighnari greedily lapping at your folds, drinking up your scent and arousal like a parched man. When you sit on his face, you'll have a nice view of his cock, swollen, twitchy and overflowing with precum, just waiting to nestle in between your warm lower lips. How can this sight make you anything but absolutely crazy for his dick? You'll often find yourself locked in a sixty-nine with both of you furiously licking each other with your rough tongues. If he couples it with a passionate fuck afterwards, you'll be lucky to have your pretty legs work in the morning. 

But it is in January and February when your lust really makes an appearance. These two months are usually taken out of the calendar for you two - being apart from each other during your heat after having tasted what having a mate feels like is torture. Not even the best toys can replace him - they won't ever mimic his warmth, his desperate and frustrated groans, his arms locking your body in place or his ears, trembling and folding from the pleasure as he breeds you. 

His instincts tell him to pump a litter or two into your womb, and he'll announce his needs to you, whether you decide to go through with it or not. A condom or a pill is an absolute must if you want to be safe - it's usually very difficult to keep yourself from letting the lust take full control. It's absolutely not because your pussy milks him and throbs so much, desperate to suck him in just that millimeter deeper and get absolutely pumped with his baby making milk and end up leg locking him. 

Mornings with Tighnari are always fun, regardless of the season. You'll sometimes wake up to the sensation of him rubbing his length along your ass, moaning your name softly into your ear and asking, begging to be let in. You usually let him - it's not like you're not guilty of blowing him awake either. Whoever is the “waker-up”, they can certainly expect a wonderful, lazy morning breeding.

Thanks for reading!

[therossgarden]

I am so so so so so TIRED to see people fatshaming two perfectly healthy girls because they have round faces. It’s disgusting.

The actresses of Mai and Azula are on point for their roles. Hell, if they were chosen there must be a reason, it’s not like there’s no Asian actresses out there they could choose from.

People can’t accept that Azula can have a characterization beyond “crazy and sadist sicko”. She’s a perfectionist. She’s an asset to her father. She’s jealous of Zuko’s birthright and of how it might take what she has away. Those are things that OG Azula too had. The only difference is that we actually see it in season one and have a background on her, rather than writing it in a rant. And what has been added only makes her a more complex character, given the change in the family dynamic as well.

And Mai? The actress is talented, she delivers a good Mai, and does justice to the character. She’s 17 and at the beginning of her career, of course it won’t be perfect. She gets to grow. Thing is, you guys won’t let her, because a square jaw scares you so flipping bad that you feel the need to shame her for it.

Everyone is a body positivity advocate until a girl with a rounder face shape is cast as a character in a live action you are NOT forced to watch? Seriously?

I’ve seen so many people on the internet calling them all sort of names, fatshaming them, insulting their work without even focusing on the acting. And I’m like, what’s to fatshame there? Let me tell you: nothing.

If I have to put it through your thick head like this, so be it. Even though I hate talking about and comparing bodies.

This below is a picture of Azula’s actress.

She has the face card, she has the jawline, and she has a fit, enviable body. And you still have the audacity to “fat-shame” her?

These two pictures are in costume. Again, face card and an enviable body. She even has the expression for Azula. You see a girl with a rounder shape of face and will automatically go “no she’s too cute to be Azula!!” Dude. No. When she will actually deliver as the crazy girl we know, she will devour. She will, and you all will switch back because that’s what you are, slimy switchers.

And now, onto Mai’s actress, a very beautiful girl with talent and looks. She is literally so pretty, and you dare hate on her? You dare shame her for how she looks? From what I’ve heard she’s a minor, too, so this makes you 100000% more slimy and undeserving of any sympathy in my book.

This is her, this is the girl.

She’s literally so pretty. Maybe she hasn’t got the same facial structure of Mai, but she delivered all her lines she had in the little screen time and with the discutibile scenes she was given. She was good. But you see a square jaw, a rounder shape of face, and are immediately triggered.

And you can’t even use the stupid argument of “she’s fat”, because this is literally her.

A very normal, very healthy young woman. Not as skinny as OG Mai? So what? She’s still a fricking thin girl. Nowhere as “fat” as you haters make her to be.

I shouldn’t have to explain common sense and basic decency to grown adults, and yet here we are.

This is honestly so frustrating. In the year of 2024 you can’t possibly justify insulting girls like this, with no shame. It’s absolutely idiotic and shows very a big lack of brain cells. I see you, haters, behind your device, with your insecurities and shame for yourself, laughing at two girls who made it farther than you ever will. You can critique the acting once you’ve seen it in full potential. Until then, shut your tramp up. This is very small dick energy of you.

I don’t see why I should treat you with kindness when you are so eager to make this kind of jokes about pretty and in shape girls you are very obviously jealous of. Go touch some grass, incels.

[baratiddyappreciator]

Hey honey bun sugar plummmm!! Could I get a baki characters with a s/o who has a fat ass (me)

Why of course, thine blessed thiccness will be appreciated!

Baki:

He's more of a tits guy (mommy issues, we all know this) but he absolutely doesn't complain about a bit more cake either. Be it a bubble butt or just genuine cake, he does not mind in the slightest.

That is his ass, thank you very much, so catching others staring or trying to cop a feel will very much wind up in him dishing out swift justice. He's chill about most things, and he doesn't mind others appreciating you as a whole, you're stunning, he knows it, but when they're being gross and pushy about it, that's when he'll step in.

He's got a habit of grabbing people's hips when he walks passed them, he may or may not cop a slight feel with you though. He doesn't mean it to be creepy or pervy, but he can't help but admire the curves you graced him with.

He's got his own cake as well, don't forget that, so the two of you walking side by side out in public earns a lot of stares for many reasons, but the fact that the two of you combined are an entire bakery might also have something to do with it.

Kozue:

Girl is flustered. Literally everyone around Baki that she ever met was cheeked up, and she knows how to appreciate a good behind, but she's a lot more shy about it than, say, Chiharu or Katsumi.

Worried about wardrobe malfunctions? Not while she's around, she is on it. Doing it to be considerate? Absolutely, of course. But was she also watching your ass before the wardrobe failure? Maybe. Perhaps. Perchance, even.

She's the kind of person to look through clothes online and show her friends when she finds things that she thinks would suit them or that they would like, so if you mention wanting something to accentuate your butt a bit, she'll pull out an entire folder.

Lord help her if she catches you in swimsuits, she won't know what to do with herself. Does she admire openly? Does she touch? Please help her lmao.

Hanayama:

Firm ass admirer, but in private. Only he is allowed to admire your ass, that's final. You don't get to stand while he's sitting down, he'll pull you straight into his lap and keep those big meaty hands on your waist, trapping you in place. You don't get up until he lets you.

He won't spank you, but he will give you light taps every once in a while. Just know: he absolutely wants to wind up and slap the soul out of you, but he won't because he doesn't want to hurt you.

You wanna wear clothes that accentuate your butt? It had better only be for his eyes, he's not going to tolerate other people looking at your buns, those are his to admire.

There will be times where he just lays down with you, acts super sweet and everything, and then just grabs your ass. For no reason. It's like watching a cat stare at something on the edge of a table before they knock it off.

Admires your ass while clothed, and while naked. You aren't safe from him, even if you're sitting down, because no matter how strong or heavy you might think you are, you are nothing compared to his strength.

Chiharu:

A menace. He will walk up to you and smack your ass so gotdamn hard that you just won't know what to do beyond pass away on the spot. He sees nothing wrong with it, and he will continue to do this. There's no rhyme or reason either.

Are you getting nasty with him? Don't let him near your ass, because he will bite you, it will hurt, and you can't even get mad at him because he does it out of sheer love.

Steal his pants. I'm serious, steal them. Just walk out with them on, he'll practically break his own neck doing a double-take. They look great on you, and they're incredibly comfortable. It's a win-win!

Feel free to torment him by returning the favour by the way, he knows he can be a bit much, but he can take what he dishes out and more.

Katsumi:

Problem child. He'll use any excuse he can to get at you in general, he's very touchy. That being said, we have seen how efficient this man is at slapping things. He slaps you once and it's over. He slaps your butt and you're going to need ice.

He's also the kinda guy to bite your butt, for no reason. Fresh out the shower? Chomp. Trying to relax in shorts? Chomp. He doesn't even try to explain or justify it, he just does it.

Much like Chiharu, you can return the favour. Unlike Chiharu, he's going to play up every little bit of his response. Did you slap him back? Oh he's going to moan and whine, and by the time you get him to shut up, you're both laughing so hard neither of you can breathe.

He will try and get you into a karate uniform from the Dojo. Is it for personal reasons? Mayhaps. He thinks that it'll look good on you either way, either way he'll get a nice look at his precious in a karate uniform.

Jack:

I don't want to say that he doesn't care, but he just doesn't make a big deal about it. He thinks you're stunning and perfect just the way you are. Does he appreciate a bit more to hold onto? Sure thing! Is he going to start grabbing at you randomly? Not really, no.

Does he occasionally admire? Oh absolutely, he managed to bag you, he's going to admire you every chance he gets. He's a bit dense, but he's not blind.

That being said, if you dress up all nice for him, all of what I've previously said goes straight out the window. He is LOOKING (respectfully) and he is going to be touching, mentally prepare for that fact, because once he starts he's not going to stop for a while.

Lord help anyone that dares to even think of copping a feel or admiring while he's around. He may be pretty, but this man is a solid 8ft tall and has a natural glare that could kill an army.

Kosho:

Also doesn't make a big deal out of it, but you know that he loves ass just by looking at him. He'll admire, he'll touch, and if you're laying on your stomach, he'll use the booty as a pillow in a rare moment of relaxation.

If you really want to drive him wild (re: insane) then wear some tights around the house. He's going to behave himself, he swears, but if you bend over one more time he cannot be held responsible for what he's about to do.

Which is to say that he'll slap the soul out of you and then drag you back to the bedroom. Will you emerge alive? Who knows! He doesn't, and you probably won't either.

Kureha:

He cares, but he's a bitch, so he'll make it seem like he doesn't. That being said, he's so incredibly obvious about his stares and his little hand twitches while he definitely doesn't fantasize about grabbing a hand full that it's almost comedic.

He lowkey (re: highkey) worries about your back, so sometimes he'll just walk up, grab your waist and start rubbing little circles into the base of your spine under the pretense of being bored and wanting to see what you're doing.

He will buy you clothes and expects you to wear them, because he likes they way they look on you. Even if you only wear them around the house for him, he'll be pleased.

Why yes, he is jealous, how did you know? If he catches anyone even so much as glancing at your butt, he's going to glare them into another dimension.

Retsu:

Virgin monk is a virgin, and he was raised not to stare because that's rude. That being said, he can't help it, he thinks your butt is beautiful and he'll outright tell you that whatever you're wearing looks flattering. Has he said this while you were naked? Yes. Yes he has.

Once he gets more comfortable, he's all about grabbing and squeezing at your hips, thighs and butt, though it's all in good fun, he means well by it, and he absolutely appreciates you letting him do this.

He has such comfy pants, much like Chiharu, so you should absolutely steal them from time to time. You know those things are flattering, you've seen them on him after all.

If you ever want someone to watch your form while you're doing squats or lunges, he's your guy, because unlike the others, who would absolutely take this seriously and not just use it as an excuse to stare at your butt the entire time.

[prying-pandora666]

The Gaang’s Favorite Foods

Aang is an ovo-lacto vegetarian. He still consumes milk and eggs, just nothing that requires killing an animal. Being more used to getting nutrients from a variety of plant foods including nuts and seeds, supported by nutrient rich bison milk and whatever eggs they eat in this world, Aang’s diet is surprisingly diverse and not as restrictive as it first seems. People have and still do eat this way. He loves egg tarts!

Sokka is a growing teen boy, used to a high-fat diet of primarily fish, mollusks, large ruminants, marine mammals (and their blubber), full fat milk, eggs, blood, etc, and only minorly supported by additional foods like seaweed, berries, tubers, perhaps the occasional imported flour or rice. He is going to need a LOT of animal meat and fat. Especially organs. The cookbook says he loves dried salmon collars.

Katara is also a growing teen girl, and considering what starts for girls around her age, she probably also has higher iron requirements. Heme-iron (from meat) is the most easily absorbed, and if it’s what her body is accustomed to, I imagine there’s going to be a lot of cravings there too. It’s possible she slowly converted to a vegetarian diet eventually, but there isn’t actually anything in canon to say that Katara and Aang didn’t just maintain different diets. The comics and cookbook say she likes soups and stews including sea prunes which are actually a type of mollusk.

Toph comes from a wealthy family. Although most of the Earth Kingdom relies primarily on staple grains (rice mainly, but also others), she likely had a decently diverse diet compared to others. Including plenty of meat (beef, chicken, duck, pork), a variety of vegetables, and even luxury items like refined sugar. According to the cookbook, she doesn’t like to eat her vegetables, which implies she had open access to meat for most of her life. She is fond of tea eggs.

Zuko comes from the wealthiest nation which is also in a tropical climate. He’d have access to a plethora of fruits the others had never even heard of! Tropical fruits, berries, coconut, and all the different dishes you can make with them. The nutrient-rich volcanic soil would also lend itself to farming, giving this country plenty of fresh vegetables and staple grains. However, culturally they seem to be a meat and seafood loving people, and spiciness is critical! Being a prince, Zuko would have even more access to all of the above than the common person. According to the cookbook, his favorite snack is sizzle-crisps which is basically fried and seasoned pork belly. He also sneaks Komodo-chicken to his uncle in prison.

BONUS:

Azula, like Zuko, is royalty in a nation blessed with great diversity of fruits, meat, seafood, and fresh veggies. We know she attended a harsh military academy which puts its students through rigorous survival training. Azula knows how to live off the land and likely can survive off of whatever petty things she can forage or catch. But being royalty, she is more accustomed to having whatever she desires prepared for her. She seems to have a bit of a sweet tooth, which can happen when you give a teen unfettered access to luxury goods like sugar. With her nation’s relatively advanced stage of industrialization, certain more processed foods and desserts are available to her. She is fond of cherries and in the comics she is a fiend for mochi!

[cocogum]

The Great Wave - Chapter 7 Review

‼️SPOILERS FOR THE CHAPTER‼️

Warning(s): unhinged behavior, fat shaming, unnecessary use of foul language, osamodas slander

This chapter made the stupid decision to edge me.

We come back to Yugo having an episode from the poison he just drank and he is going through it hard.

My guy is coughing up blood, eyes are turning red, body is shaking like a mad man, screaming in agony, and his wakfu antlers are even going crazy…

To top it all off, he’s now having a series of igniting explosions because of the dofus residing in him. Like you can’t make this shit up, my guy is literally creating explosions from the inside out. Look at the damages.

(damn, amalia is carrying this whole banquet. look at her saving these ppl what a queen ✨)

Which clown decided it was a good idea to poison a demigod in charge of six dofus and expect nothing abnormal or deadly to happen?????

Oh yeah, the blue-skinned cows.

I don’t care what anyone says. The osamodas family was in charge of the poison attempt, I don’t care if it was that Sadida woman’s idea since it’s obvious she’d know more about poisoning. The osamodas are at fault, the osamodas king told Aurora that they should wait and let them enjoy this last happy occasion. He also told Aurora that they knew about the marriage but weren’t invited?? Come on, they’re clearly at fault here!! They’re the ones who told the Sadida servant to do something about it and she improvised! But what these two bozos didn’t know, was how it would backfire on them. This is stupid to think about because they KNEW Yugo wasn’t a normal person. Poisoning Yugo is like trying to poison a deadly cobra. Or in this case, A FUCKING DEMIGOD. Either way, you’re gonna get jumped.

Like, OF COURSE Yugo’s gonna have a freakout and fuck shit up when his body had been messed with a deadly substance.

OF COURSE, he’s gonna hurt a lot of people around him if he’s around anyone.

OF COURSE, he won’t fucking die cuz of his divinity status.

OF COURSE, he’ll start ruining the kingdom these two fucking dumbasses want for no reason.

You can’t make this shit up.

These two are so bad at being villains, they don’t even know what the fuck they’re doing to people they don’t bother knowing more about. They don’t even know who their target is.

After understanding what kind of poison Yugo drank, which was the belladone, we now know why Amalia knew what was in the cup. She probably recognized the smell of it.

Amalia: “Adamaï…The belladone is the worst of poisons…”

According to how she describes it, this poison is so deadly that it kills the person or animal who drinks it in under ten seconds. The victim first drinks it and then foams at the mouth before collapsing and dying.

We’ve seen the same thing happen in another era of the World of Twelve and that was back in the Cire Momore backstory which was an event around the Dofus era.

The daughter of a queen tried poisoning her for all the suffering she’s endured and had the help of a painter to do it.

Gustave (painter): “I found the berries at the exact place you indicated.”

Princess: “Perfect. Do not forget to carefully wash your hands. The belladone is highly toxic.”

Based on this passage alone, we’ve learned that the belladone are purple berries that are so toxic, that they can even damage you if you don’t properly wash your hands after you pick them.

After that, during the banquet, the princess secretly poured the poison into her mother’s wine. But just before she could drink it, her dog suddenly jumped at her, causing her to drop the wine, which made the pet drink it from the ground instead.

The results were exactly what you expected to happen.

Once the dog drank it, he foamed at the mouth and collapsed, immediately dying from the drink.

So when we compare this instance to what happened to Yugo, we can see a huge difference.

Unlike what happened to the dog (or any mortal), Yugo is still standing but is terribly shaking, coughing blood, and having an episode. His body is trying to get the poison out of his system by coughing but his body is still alive.

The only thing Yugo can say while in this situation is “It hurts”. My guy is in severe pain but he’s still breathing, I don’t think anyone in the history of the krosmoz has ever taken the poison like this, let alone a divinity of all people.

Yugo: “Sor…ry. The…pain.”

Bro even has the time to say sorry while kneeling on the ground and holding his stomach. He’s literally at death’s door, grasping for life, his body trying and struggling to reject the poison, and he still finds the time to apologize for something that wasn’t even his fault.

What a chad.

Amalia: “Yugo…He should already be…”

Adamaï: “My brother isn’t like everyone! He possesses the six primordial eliatrope dofus, if he manages to take hold of himself, then he can take it…”

Even Amalia is shocked that Yugo is still breathing. But Adamaï over here is telling her that he WILL survive this if he can perfectly control it with the eliatrope dofus.

And we all know how that ended up for him the last time he used them…

So Adamaï flies in and takes Yugo away from the banquet before he actually hurts somebody.

Adamaï: “Yugo, you have to focus. Or else you’ll destroy your kingdom or end up killing someone!”

But bro is not listening cuz the second Adamaï pulls him up, dude just overcharged himself before exploding AGAIN.

JUST LOOK AT THE DAMAGE!! THAT LITERALLY LOOKS LIKE A CRATER!! You can even see how perfect the circle looks from this shot.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, the moment you’ve all been waiting for.

AMALIA FUCKING GROWING SOME BALLS AND JUMPING ON THE OSAMODAS.

Nah cuz this scene was what we needed! THIS was the moment we wanted to see ever since that blue-skinned woman started breathing in front of our screens!!

As soon as Yugo caused another explosion, this was it for the stupid clown ‘royal’ family. They signed their death sentences and Amalia is fed up with their bullshit.

Cuz trying to make her marry one of their relatives, being disrespected by them while her brother did nothing, getting told to leave her home and kingdom, being told that she should be replaced, sure she could manage all that.

She can take it. But seeing her husband being poisoned like that on the same day that a wedding was supposed to happen AND having the osamodas randomly being there to witness it, was the last straw before she finally fucking snaps.

She had just lost her whole family in a short period, she wasn’t going to lose her husband to some clowns.

(Also what the fuck were they thinking of poisoning her husband when she had already lost so much?? Did they really think this whole thing wasn’t going to backfire on them??? What a bunch of amateurs.)

And look at them just standing there looking 😮😱😱😱😧😮 LIKE OF COURSE SHE WAS GONNA KILL Y’ALL, YOU BOTH LOOK LIKE THE ODD ONES OUT HERE ‼️‼️

They even looked caught off guard when they saw Yugo causing explosions.

You got Aurora over here with her dumb ugly bat pet looking all shocked, covering her mouth as if she was surprised to find out her dad’s shenanigans wouldn’t work. And then you got animal king over here realizing he fucked up.

And right when they get confronted for their repetitive bullshit, they see literal death looking back at them with the most bloodthirsty eyes they had ever seen before.

Amalia’s so pretty in this shot ready to rip them apart 🥰🥰

Like yes queen, cut them to pieces, we’re about to have a barbecue 🤤🤤

As soon as they get caught red-handed, that’s when they suddenly turn soft and act like victims.

Fatty: “Stay back my daughter, this girl has lost her mind.”

“StAy bAcK mY DAUghTEr, ThIs gIrL hAs-“

Shut yo dumbass up little boy you knew something like this would’ve happened stop playing with me.

He’s over here acting like a random passerby when a second ago he told Aurora that they should wait a little more for something to happen.

So when he gets cornered by the very same girl who he had disrespected and ignored in Season 4 and wanted to be replaced so his useless trophy daughter can take the throne, now she’s suddenly “lost her mind”???

Fuck you.

Amalia: “YOU MONSTERS! I WAS READY TO CONFIDE YOU MY KINGDOM!”

Fatty: “I don’t know what you’re imagining, girl, but…”

That useless fat fuck KEEPS PLAYING THE CARD VICTIM EVEN WHEN SHE HAS EVERY RIGHT TO BLAME HIM.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME????

WTF IS WRONG WITH THEM?!!?

She has EVERY RIGHT and he’s over here HEARING HER say that she was ready to give him the kingdom but this fatso is too high up his own ass to hear her cuz he’s still delusional and telling her he didn’t do shit. Even when she was this close to giving it to him, this guy was not budging from the victim card.

If I could spit at anyone in my life, it’d be him. What a sad excuse of a man. I bet my own kidney Chibi can take him in a fight.

This is literally my favourite panel of this WHOLE volume so far.

Amalia: “You poisoned my husband.”

I love it so much ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

LIKE YES FUCKING KILL THEM RIP THEM APART THEY’RE JUST STANDING THERE LIKE PROCESSED MEAT READY TO BE CUT‼️‼️‼️‼️

DO IT ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

I just love how the more Amalia becomes enraged, the more her speech bubbles tremble and shake, implying that she’s slowly but surely becoming more unhinged and losing it.

Fatty: “Crazy girl…”

Takes one to know one, bitch.

This chapter genuinely edged me, I WANNA SEE SOME BLOOD ALREADY‼️‼️

YOU’RE CO CLOSE JUST KILL THEM‼️‼️‼️‼️

DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DOT IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DOT IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DOT IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DOT IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DOT IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DOT IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DOT IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DOT IT DO IT DO IT-

I PRAY that these poor excuses of antagonists DO NOT appear in volume 2. The chapter cover of the tenth chapter only features the Sadida servant who poisoned Yugo and she looks completely calm, almost like Yugo’s explosions and Amalia and Aurora’s fight have calmed down.

SO PLEASE TOT PLEASE DON’T PUT THEM ANYWHERE ELSE ANYMORE.

Seasons 3, and 4, and the great wave’s first volume are already enough. So cut it out. Let me have a day where I don’t get a migraine just thinking about what kind of dumbassery these fake osamodas will do in the next chapter.

[pr33tylul]

Request: y/n starts to feel self conscious around Harry and other people.

This request was suggested by @Fr3nch1e

House: gryffindor

Year: 6th year

(Ps No voldy moldy cheese so bambi and lily are alive in this but won't talk or come up 🤭)

(Another thing... STAN JAMES POTTER)

I'll shut up now.

Y/n stood there in her gryffindor dorm room that she had shared with her best friend Hermione granger. She couldn't help but to compare herself to her. She looked in the mirror looking at the reflection, she let a few tears fall. Just standing there in her undergarments sucking in her stomach. She looked away disgusted at her reflection . She put on her robes and looked in the mirror again. "Why couldn't I be pretty like Hermione?" She thought to herself. Hermione was perfect in every way. Why couldn't she have the body like most girls around hogwarts?

She had walked out of the portrait door as the bell to the first class had rang. She'd missed breakfast.

*

"Y/n where we're you? You weren't at breakfast Harry was looking everywhere for you?" Hermione whispered to her friend as they had worked on brewing a potion.

Y/n didn't look up at all as she could feel the chosen ones eyes dig into the back of her skull. "Overslept, sorry" she let out a nervous laugh.

Y/n knew Harry had notice a change in her behaviour, she knew Hermione did to. It wasn't like y/n to 'oversleep.'

"Is everything okay with you? You've been acting a bit different?" Y/n was quick to answer "different? Different how?" She let out another nervous smile. "Y/n I'm your bestfriend if you need to speak to someone you know I'm always here right?" "I know Hermione and everything is fine" she lied.

_

Y/n had sat at the gryffindor table uncomfortable. Ron was stuffing his face like normal, Hermione having her nose stuffed in a book and then Harry just holding her while eating. Y/n looked down at her plate as she started to put on some fruit and some bread. It didn't take her long.

"Is that all you're eating baby?" Harry looked down at her. "Yeah not hungry really. Guess that's what you get for oversleeping"

"So you're not gonna have a slice of butterscotch tart? Your favourite?" Ron had piped up into the conversation. Y/n shook her head as Ron raised his eyebrows. "Weird." He put a spoonful of jelly in his mouth. "Y/n you've been oversleeping all week. What do you do at night?"

She didn't answer Hermione's question. Y/n had carefully moved Harry's hand from around her waist and stood up. "I'll see you after class" she pecked Harry's lips then walked off.

"God Hermione what have you done to the poor girl. Class don't start for another 20 minutes." Ron had laughed while Hermione had rolled her eyes. Harry on the other hand had gotten up and followed her.

Y/n had walked into the common room. Y/n made her way to her dorm to the very same mirror she was looking in this morning.

She lifted up her top to see if she'd looked any bigger. Thoughts ran through her head. Did Harry think she looked overweight? "What was he thinking when he was holding me" she thought. Again tears sliped down her cheeks.

"Y/n?"

She turned to see her lover.

"Harry, shouldn't you Be at lunch?" She wiped the tears and tucked in her shirt. "What's going on? Why are you crying." He moved foward to hold her but she stepped back. "Why do you keep pushing me away?" His voice raised a little.

"Do I look overweight to you?" The question had slipped out. Harry's face had dropped when she said it. "No why would you think that?"

That was it. The tears just kept coming and coming.

"Out of all girls you picked me? Why? There's nothing pretty about me? You could of had Ginny she's perfect for you. Perfect body. She's bloody gorgeous unlike me." She took a breath "I hate myslef Harry. Look at me I'm a disaster!" She shouted. "I'm so fucking ugly, so fat and just disgusting" she cried.

"Y/n you have no idea how wrong you are. Love your perfect. In every way shape or form. Your not fat or ugly. Your beautiful. That cute little laugh you have, that smile" he walked closer to her. Wrapping her arms around her. "No one's perfect" she looked away from him. "But your perfect to me" He forced her to look at him. "I fell in love with you because of how nice and caring you are. How beautiful you are. I love every little thing about you and that includes your body."

Y/n had let out a little smile as Harry wiped her tears away.

"I love you, so much" y/n said pulling him into a kiss. "I love you too, always."

[writtenfangirl]

More of secrets and good luck charm. Pls.

Secrets and Good Luck Charms pt. 2

Someone asked for a part 2 so here it is! I hope you guys enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy writing this.

I've always loved reading people's comments about the things I write and the wonderful support my writing gets is honestly my biggest motivator.

Part 1

“I can’t believe this!” Charles thundered as he paced across his apartment. “How can they say these things about you?!”

“Hmm,” Y/N hummed, only half listening to her boyfriend’s rant.

She’d heard a variation of his rant before, his fury at the terrible things people were saying about her whenever Charles posts a picture of her or they’re spotted out and about by the paparazzi. She’d heard him say these things almost as often as she’d heard the horrible comments people say about her. 

Their barbed words never really bothered Y/N. She was never the kind to let the opinions of strangers get under her skin, especially since she’d heard far worse before. Unfortunately, her boyfriend wasn’t immune to the shortcomings of his so-called fans.

“This is despicable, cherie!” He cried out as Y/N mindlessly scrolled through her phone, “how can you not be bothered by this?”

Y/N looked up from her phone, stopping Charles from his pacing. “Cha, please stop pacing. You’ll make a hole through the floor.”

“Cherie, if you could only read—“

“I’ve read them. They post those comments on my profile too,” Y/N said, waving him away as she went back to her phone. 

“And you weren’t hurt?”

“I’ve read and heard worse.” And she truly had heard worse, sometimes from the people that mattered most to her. As someone who had always been a big girl, it always seemed like everyone in the world thought she wasn’t aware of what she looked like. She’d heard all the fat jokes, heard all the jibes and the little backhanded compliments that people thought would somehow make her lose weight but only served to do the opposite. The things people were saying in her and Charles’s comments section was tame in comparison to what she’d heard growing up. At this point in her life, she doubted these people could say something to her she hadn’t already heard before.

But Charles wasn’t used to the same things she was and though he took his own criticisms to stride, he couldn’t take the negativity directed at the love of his life in stride. His mouth flew open, his face gobsmacked. “Cherie.”

Y/N glanced back up again, her expression impassive. “Charles, I swear. Don’t worry about it. I’ve heard all of these comments before and I’ve heard even worse. The things they’re saying about me is nothing compared to what my family has said about me in the past. Look, I was prepared for this when we started dating. I am not some maiden in need of defending.”

Somehow, Y/N’s words didn’t soothe Charles. If anything, he looked even more horrified. “Y/N! You can’t be serious. What do you mean worse?”

“Oh, you know, worse. I promise, the things they’re saying are nothing compared to what I’ve been through growing up. I don’t mind it. Promise.”

“You can’t think I’d be okay with that, Y/N.”

“There’s nothing to be done about, Charles. It is what it is.”

“Still,” he frowned, “I’m sorry you have to go through this, Y/N. It’s not fair.”

“It really isn’t,” she said with a sigh of resignation.

“Well, I need to say something otherwise I’m no better than them.” He huffed before he took a seat beside Y/N on the couch. 

“You are so much better than them, Cha,” Y/N said as she abandoned her phone and pulled him into her embrace, his head nuzzling against her neck. He could feel her steady pulse, the smell of her heady perfume momentarily washing away his worries. “I’m serious. Don’t worry about it.”

“I should publish a statement,” he muttered against her, “I should say something.”

“You don’t think it might make things worse?”

“Do you?” He pulled away, peering at her from his lashes. “Do you think it will make things worse?”

“It might,” she shrugged. Charles wasn’t entirely sure how or why, but Y/N’s lack of a response, her impassivity and utter disregard for the situation, had his heart breaking. Was she so use to being treated this way that she’s grown immune to the heinous things people were saying about her? 

“Why aren’t you more concerned about this, cherie?” He frowned. 

Y/N smiled, a small reassuring thing that did nothing to quell Charles’ frustrations. “Charles, do you think I’m beautiful?”

“Don’t try to change the subject.”

“Humor me, babe, and answer the question. Do you think I’m beautiful?”

“Inside and out,” he declared without hesitation. 

“Does your family love me?”

“You know they do. Maman thinks you’re the daughter she never had and my brothers adore you.”

“What about your friends? Have they ever said anything bad about me to you?”

“No. They think you’re one of the best things to ever happen to me and that if I ever break your heart, I should get ready for a fight,” he grinned despite himself. 

“Then that’s all that matters to me,” Y/N said softly, her fingers curling around his dark hair before trailing down his neck, softly caressing him as if her touch could somehow dispel the demons plaguing him. “You’re the ones who matter, Charles. Not them. You and your family and your friends. I couldn’t care less about strangers on the internet calling me names.”

“But, Y/N, I can’t take it,” he frowned, relishing the feeling of her touch. His own hands found themselves on her waist, at the small space devoid of any clothing, his thumbs rubbing circles on her soft skin. “I love you and I don’t understand how people who are meant to support me can say such terrible things about you, the woman I love and who I fully intend to spend forever with. You don’t deserve this.”

She wasn’t entirely sure how she could reassure her boyfriend that she really didn’t care about the things people were saying about her. When she agreed to a relationship with Charles, she went in it with both eyes open. She understood what she had to give up to be with the man she loved and she was more than willing to give up her privacy and even her peace of mind if she could be with Charles. 

Truthfully, she hadn’t even thought about all the negativity. All she thought about was the anxiety that came with the territory of loving an athlete who competed in one of the most dangerous sports in the world. She hadn’t thought about what people would think about her. And, when the hate comments came pouring in, she really couldn’t bring herself to care. She didn’t have any space in her left to absorb the negativity, not when there were better things to worry about. 

But Charles had been so guilty. Y/N had only asked him to introduce her to his loved ones but it had been his choice to reveal their relationship to the world. He thought about the horrible things people were saying about her and struggled to take it. He saw Y/N as the beautiful, kind and fantastic person that she really was and he took any hate towards her personally. 

“It is what it is, babe,” Y/N said, trying her best not to sound flippant. 

“I wish I can do something. I’m really sorry, cherie. You don’t deserve this,” he sighed sorrowfully.

“Don’t apologize. You aren’t the one saying these things about me.”

“But I’m the reason why they say them!” Charles exclaimed. “If you were with someone else, they wouldn’t be saying these things. If I hadn’t told them about us then none of this would be happening!”

“Charles, stop,” Y/N said firmly, “don’t do this to yourself. Don’t torture yourself like this. I love you and I will never blame you for the actions of other people, do you understand?”

He took a deep breath. “I just wish there was something I could do. I got you in this mess. I should do what I can to get you out.”

One of the things she loved about her boyfriend was his tenacity and his single minded determination to accomplish something he wanted. He wasn’t going to let this go, not unless Y/N said something. She knew that if she told him she wasn’t comfortable with him releasing a statement, he’d drop it. But it’s not like the situation can get any worse and if Charles can feel better by doing this, then she might as well let him. “If you really want to say something, I won’t stop you. I love you and I support you in everything you do, including this.”

He peered at her from his lashes, his face turning hopeful. “You’re sure?”

“Positive.”

“Do you want to read what I’ll say after or not?”

She paused. Did her opinion really matter to him so much? “I can read it if you want me to.”

“Of course I want you to. Your opinion matters to me very much.”

Despite herself, she smiled. Charles’ compassion and consideration for her had her heart soaring higher than a kite. There was a time when she’d doubted his affection for her, when she thought Charles’s feelings for her to be disingenuous. Now, she wonders how she ever thought the worst of him. Charles, despite how perfect he may appear with his Disney-prince like good looks, amazing sense of humor and superior personality, was just as human as she was. He was as prone to his insecurities and self-doubt as Y/N was but that was likely why she loved him so much.

It’s easy to love someone for their perfections. It’s a lot harder to love someone’s flaws. Luckily for Y/N, she loved all of Charles with her whole tender heart and she rather suspected, with the way Charles was looking at her as if she hung the moon and the stars herself, that he loved all of her with his whole tender heart too.

[lastoneout]

CW: Discussions of weight loss, fatphobia, eating disorders, and cancer.

I still cannot get over how when I dropped 30lbs in part because I had a massive IBS flare for like two months that was so bad I was going to get multiple tests to make sure I didn't have cancer and yet I could not and STILL can't even mention it to a doctor(or most people) without them congratulating me. Like there are a few things a doctor can say that piss me the fuck off but congratulating me for dropping 30lbs during a period of my life where I thought I might be DYING instantly makes me hate them. I'm STILL having to say "I got really sick and lost 30lbs" to make people shut the fuck up. I was getting skinny so fast it was scaring my family AND me but whatever I guess being skinny is SO great and I should be thankful I went through hell that permanently changed my body in a way that I genuinely don't like!

'Cuz that's the other thing, I don't like how I look now. I gained like ~8lbs when I was in bed with the blood clot and ngl I started actually liking the way my body looked again. I don't like how I look rn, my fiance does(he loves how I look 100% of the time and I appreciate that endlessly) but even he admits I looked happier and healthier when I weighed 160lbs and now I kinda just look like I'm exhausted. When I got up to 143lbs I was looking in the mirror like "oh, I almost look like myself again, I forgot what it felt like to be happy with my body" like I looked healthier!! But nah the weight is already falling off because 135lbs is my new baseline and there's nothing I can do about that. (Also I hated how I had to get new knee braces made because my old ones don't fit anymore and I had to buy new clothes because the ones I enjoyed don't fit anymore and augh the only thing that is making me like my body rn is dressing butch, if I didn't have that I'd be going insane.) And I still have to deal with people acting like this thing that has legit ruined years of body positivity work is a good thing. Because at least I'm skinnier.

Society is so sickeningly "skinny positive" it legit disgusts me. And like this isn't even a drop in the bucket compared to what fat people go through, and it's why I'm so fucking passionate about fat liberation, I've watched tons of people I love completely destroy themselves to look more like me and I have to sit here and not only feel awful because I love them and don't want them to have to go through this but also because I know even looking like me wont be enough. Doctors still tell me to lose weight because I'm like a couple of lbs outside of "healthy" on the BMI scale, which is insane I weigh less than 10lbs more than I did when I was SIXTEEN atm and I can't say anything because I know they won't listen if I explain that even just being this thin is making me hate myself and feel like shit.

Fatphobia is so fucking evil. It absolutely destroys people. I genuinely baffles me that most skinny people can't see it because it's being used against us too, just in an affirming way and to me that is genuinely repulsive. Every compliment on my weight loss makes me want to punch through a brick wall. Knowing my story is going to be used to bludgeon other people with my condition becuase I lost weight without doing anything so "everyone" should be able to makes me so angry I could cry. It actually makes me feel sick to be praised for this, to know I'm a "success" story, to be lumped in with people who hate the people I love for the way their bodies naturally are, who want my loved ones to destroy themselves, who think I'm better than them when I am absolutely not.

Fat liberation is what we need to work towards, not "skinny positivity" or whatever, this is a systemic issue just like sexism and racism and homophobia and ableism and it must be dismantled if we want to create a better world for us all.

[jedi-enthusiast]

Similar Stories, Different Treatments: Anakin Skywalker and Abijah Fowler

Ok, so recently I've been re-watching 'Blue Eye Samauri' on Netflix and last night it dawned on me that, generally speaking, Abijah Fowler and Anakin Skywalker have very similar stories and actions...and yet their respective fandoms react to the two of them very differently.

So, here's my long ass post analyzing the two of them and why people react to them so differently.

----------

First, comparing the two characters...

So, assuming that y'all know me for my Star Wars content, you probably know Anakin's story but, for the sake of this post, I'll explain it briefly.

Anakin was born into slavery and lived as a slave for 9 years. Then one day he and his mother met two Jedi and a handmaiden, and his mother asked the Jedi to take Anakin and train him---which they agreed to do, so Anakin had to leave his mother. At 19 he had nightmares about and then witnessed his mother's death when he went back to Tatooine before being promptly drafted into war along with the rest of the Jedi by the Senate. After a harrowing 3 years of war and having his worst behaviors enabled/encouraged by the villain and his wife, Anakin begins to have nightmares about his pregnant wife dying. He then tries to prevent her dying, even though she's in perfect health.

We know a little less about Abijah Fowler's past, but we do know an integral part of it from this monologue:

"My country's history is one of manufactured suffering. I was a boy when the Tudors burned any food the rebels under O'Neill might think to eat. We starved. Everyone starved. Mouths on the dead stained green from chewing nettles---you get resourceful in a famine. My parents died early, left me and my sister catching rats. The rats ran out quick. Fed my sister on my blood, it kept her alive an extra two weeks. I didn't sleep for three days to protect her body from the starving 'til the ground thawed. I cut out her kidneys and buried her, fat cap on them like a pea. I haven't eaten a single meal since my mind didn't go to that bite. It was the last thing I ever did because I had to. I control my life now, every bite."

-----

From my point of view, Anakin and Abijah are very similar in their motivations.

Both of them started out as, assumedly, sweet and kind and caring young boys. You don't harm yourself to feed your sister and then cause more harm to yourself to protect her after she's already dead, if you're not. Similarly, you don't bring three complete strangers into your home because you're worried about them and then risk your life to help them, if you're not.

Both of them then went through great tragedies and likely felt completely powerless because of these tragedies and the circumstances they found themselves in.

For Abijah it was growing up during a famine, witnessing the horrors of famine and what people had to do during it, witnessing the deaths of his parents, being unable to stop the death of his sister, and being forced into cannibalism---of his sister and likely parents, no less---to prevent himself from starving. For Anakin it was growing up as a slave, having to leave his mother at a young age, witnessing his mother's death, and then being thrust into a war and witnessing the horrors of that.

Because of that powerlessness, both Anakin and Abijah hate the idea of them being powerless and their actions are made from a mix of anger at whoever they blame for what has happened---whether they're actually to blame, or whether they've done nothing---and refusal to ever be powerless again, or at least accept that they're powerless.

These motivations led them both to commit- (Anakin) -or attempt to commit- (Abijah) -mass murder, *genocide, **cultural genocide, and murder of their female main character counterpart.

*Abijah wasn't necessarily setting out to commit physical genocide, but he was willing to do so if the people of Japan weren't willing to go along with his plans.

**I do consider Abijah's plans as including cultural genocide, since he has a whole monologue about the people of Japan being "godless" and how he'd force them into Christianity- (Catholicism?) -if he succeeded in killing the Shogunate.

----------

Now, comparing fandom's reaction to the two...

For Anakin, he succeeds in causing Padme's death, destroying the Republic aka the only democracy in the galaxy, committing cultural and physical genocide against the Jedi, murdering an entire village of Tuskens including the children, and going on to oppress and enslave the rest of the galaxy for decades...

...in contrast, Abijah only succeeds in committing mass murder and fails in all of his other plans---and his success in committing mass murder is partially due to the Shogun's sons and wife locking people inside the burning palace.

But, despite all of this, if you look into how their respective fandoms treat them, you'd assume that it was the opposite.

Anakin is lifted up as this good person who had no agency in any of his actions or, if he did, then the people he murdered "deserved it"---he's loved by most of the fandom and everywhere you look you see think pieces about how Anakin was really a victim, how his actions were justified, how he's not to blame for anything.

Meanwhile Abijah is hated and his actions are labeled by the fandom as bad. He's a terrible person and he's seen as such. I've never seen a single post justifying his actions or trying to say he isn't to blame for his actions.

Now, this is not me saying that the Blue Eye Samauri fandom is wrong to view Abijah this way---on the contrary, I agree that his actions are heinous and he's a terrible person, there's nothing there that I don't agree with.

However, I do think it's interesting how differently both characters are treated when one of them is, unequivocally, worse than the other.

----------

Why is this?

Now, I'm going to preface this section with the disclaimer that part of it is because Anakin is the main character of his media and Abijah is not---however, I believe that this has a very small effect on how fandom treats them since, as we've seen with other characters, screentime doesn't really matter that much when it comes to whether fandom likes a character or not.

Moving on-

-----

I think a lot of it is just that Anakin is conventionally attractive and Abijah isn't.

Anakin and Abijah are both selfish, misogynistic, racist, have violent responses to most things, and have committed atrocities in the name of personal gain. The only difference between them---besides the obvious differences that come with the medias they're in---is that Anakin is pretty to look at and Abijah isn't.

It'd be even worse if Abijah was a POC or a woman, even if he was conventionally attractive---as proven by other Star Wars characters.

Mace Windu? Fandom hates him and makes him out to be a villain.

Saw Gerrera? Same thing.

Rey Skywalker? People hate her and say she's "unrealistic" or "too OP."

Reva Sevander? People fucking CRUCIFIED her!

None of these people even come near Anakin's level of "I'm a terrible person and I do heinous things because why not!" Mace and Rey never did anything wrong, and Saw and Reva did the things they did because of trauma/revenge and/or working to take down a greater evil---and even then, neither of them do anything near as bad as Anakin!

Yet they're hated and held to a higher standard and crucified in a way that Anakin isn't.

-----

Another reason is that people can project onto Anakin in a way they can't project onto Abijah.

With Anakin, they can twist the Jedi's actions to fit whatever trauma they personally relate to, they can shove characters like Obi-Wan, Ahsoka, Mace, Yoda, etc. into whatever archetype they want to fit their story, they can excuse away every atrocity Anakin commits because he's doing it out of attachment and they think attachment means love, etc.

Meanwhile it's hard for people to project onto Abijah because everything and everyone around him is harder to change to fit his narrative.

There's no one really around him that you can say manipulated, abused, or otherwise forced him into doing the things he did. The other characters don't really interact with him, so people can't say the characters "deserved" what he did to them. And he openly admits that he's doing things out of greed, whereas Anakin says he's doing things out of love when he's really not.

----------

In conclusion, Abijah Fowler and Anakin Skywalker are both people that experienced tragedy and became terrible people that did heinous things because of it---but people only justify one of their actions because they think he's pretty and project onto him.

They're the same person in different medias 🤷‍♀️

[codenamesazanka]

Shigaraki dies, and goes back in time. To the day OFA was transferred to Deku…

[part 1]

rough idea/summary [part 2]

•

It's the day of the UA entrance exam - late afternoon. Testing is over. Results, of course, haven't even begun to be calculated yet; they will be announced by mail next week. Nothing left but to go home.

And so Deku walks out the gates, dejected. He's going over the whole day in his head: all the questions he read and answers he's given in the written portions, every move he made during the practical. By his own calculations, he just barely passed the written exam... which is nothing compared to the big fat zero he's definitely getting from the practical.

So caught up in his bleak thoughts, Deku walks straight into someone. Embarrassed, Deku apologizes, even though he's the one who's been knocked to the ground. The other guy seems perfectly fine. Well, he's older and is dressed in all black and looks like a ghoul and is staring creepily at Deku, but he seems fine.

When the guy calls out his name - Midoriya Izuku - though...

D-Do I know you?

The guy gives a strange answer: I guess not. But let's talk.

The guy asks Deku if he just took the UA exam to be a Hero, and Deku answers in the affirmative. (Almost starts to ramble about, well, he took the exam, because he wants to be a Hero, yeah, but it didn't go so well... but stops himself in time. No need to tell a stranger all that.)

Why? The guy asks. Why does he want to be a Hero? 

That's a simple and easy question. Deku says, to help people. To save them. He wants to be like All Might, saving people with a smile. Deku gives his own smile here, because who wouldn't know of All Might and All Might's smile.

The guy has no reaction to that. He only asks again, Why? Why does he want to save people? 

This makes Deku think a little, but not too much. The answer is simple - because they need saving. When someone is in trouble, it's just natural to want to help, right? 

Is it?

Well—yeah. Deku finds that it's hard to explain his answer, which is clearly what this guys wants him to do. (Is this a secret UA exam? Judging his character? Determining if he's worthy???) Seeing someone having trouble, being in pain or going through something hard and difficult, it's only right to give them a hand. They should be helped, because... they need it.

So it's pity.

No! Not exactly. It's not judging them, it... shouldn't be that? - it's just... easing their burden. And the burden you'd feel as well. It's hard to see someone suffering, isn't it? Helping them feels better, for everyone.

So it's about your ego.

No!!! (Oh, Deku's so failing this part of the exam too.) He just wants to save people! Isn't that enough?

This time, the guy asks: What if they don't deserve it? What if they're done terrible things, things that are unforgivable? And they'll continue to do them, no matter what. Would you help those people, Midoriya Izuku, if they're in trouble?

It's a moral question that feels a little more complex than any entrance exam would require (so is this guy just... some random weirdo?) but Deku realizes he has the answer. He talks about - who else? - Bakugou, a friend, a bully, and someone who's probably never going to change. But one day last year, his friend needed help. He looked scared. He was in pain. At that moment, he needed saving. Deku wasn't really thinking about any of the stuff Bakugou did, or what he will do, in the future. All Deku thought was... that someone should be there for him. 

I don't know about forgiveness, or anything like that, and maybe it really is just a shallow answer, but... if someone looks like they need help, then I'll help them.

The guy is quiet for a long while. Not looking at Deku, just staring off into the distance. Deku wonders and rehearses how he'll make a polite excuse to leave, when the guy finally gives a huff. Says, Nothing has changed, huh?

Deku is very, very confused, but the guy only says nevermind, and turns to leave the same way he entered Deku's day - suddenly and bizarrely.

But when moving, the guy winces; there's a stiffness to him, to his arm; and Deku has to ask, Are you okay? Is it your arm? Do you need help? 

The guy says he's fine, and tries to dodge around Deku, but that only makes his wrist visible - with blood. Which alarms Deku, who tries to gently herd the guy toward UA. There's a doctor inside the school - a Hero, actually, with a healing quirk, it's really cool - she can help, she actually just helped me—

Their tiny commotion thankfully gets some of the staff - and All Might!? - to the scene, and just one word from Deku about the guy being hurt immediately has All Might carrying him off to Recovery Girl.

-

At the medical bay, the guy is utterly ungrateful. He says to All Might, You're as annoying as ever; but All Might takes it in stride, keeping his signature smile, even though Deku can see that he's confused and a little hurt.

Recovery Girl heals the guy. Then also brings attention to everything else wrong about the guy. You have multiple puncture wounds... And I see lots of blood, too much to be healthy, but it's all not yours, is it?

(Black is a good color to hide dried blood.)

Surprisingly, the guy answers bluntly and honestly. No.

At this, Deku can feel the atmosphere gets heavier, a little. All Might immediately gets more serious, asking if something had happen, if the young man - because in better lighting, he looked only to be a couple of years older than Deku - was in danger. Was it a Villain? Are they still in the area?

The guy refuses answering and tries to leave, but All Might blocks his path - with a showy flourish - and persists in trying to help. It's okay to tell him - All Might is here! There's no need to be afraid. He'll keep him safe. Evil will be caught and punished. Things will be okay. (Meanwhile, Deku watches Recovery Girl call the police.)

Unstoppable force vs. immovable object. Guy is a quick dodger and won't stop trying to leave, while All Might won't quit trying to get the guy to stay and talk.

Let's get your name! Can you tell us your name?

Fine, you want my name? The guy snaps. The family name is Shimura.

All Might freezes, and Deku sees something he thought was impossible - (Hero form) All Might's smile fading.

Shimura continues. But I don't want anything to do with you. So don't follow me.

Deku can just hear something shattering inside All Might. As he rushes over to All Might to see if he's okay, Shimura walks past them and leaves... but not before pausing at the door and saying something that breaks All Might again.

All For One is dead. I just killed him.

(A clattering sound. Recovery Girl's dropped her cane. Deku wants to grab it and give it back to her, but he doesn't want to leave All Might in his catatonic state either.)

Shimura says, I don't know if it'll stick, but if he does come back, I'll deal with it. You don't have to worry about him anymore.

Deku has so many questions. All Might, what's going on? Do you know Shimura-san? Who's All For One? Who just died? Are you okay?

Shimura gives a laugh at this. Says to Deku, so no one told you anything either. Says to All Might, better tell your successor everything, so he's prepared.

Prepared? All Might finally breaks out of his daze. But you just said...

It's me you'll need to worry about, from now on. Shimura says. You are Heroes. And I'm still a Villain.

Shimura walks out the door. And somehow, in the second between that and Deku running out to chase after him, Shimura has disappeared.

[allwormdiet]

Agitation 3.11

The problems involving this motherfucking bank are no longer limited to the exterior of said motherfucking bank

It has to be fucking alarming for your power to stop working for you when you're so used to it as a part of yourself. Can't even imagine.

God the tension here is good. Amy's not much of a fighter, sure, not even compared to Taylor, but Taylor's making her feel like she's dying rn

Do people really paint Amy as some kind of suffering angel? Like I get that she's suffered, sure, she's a parahuman and the least-favorite child of New Wave and yadda yadda, but she's fucking mean. And honestly between her and her sister I get the impression that New Wave is uhh, not too big on treating criminals like they have human rights? Which isn't at all concerning when one of them is a lawyer.

...Man how do I get worse vibes off of New Wave than the Protectorate, I'm basically never on the side of government superheroes

You can't fool me Victoria Dallon, I know you practiced that landing

Also Jesus that's a lot of damage, couldn't you have just gone through one of the windows that broke already? Kid Win made that hole for nothing.

I know Amy doesn't do this (yet) but the fact that this is the first thing she threatens to do to a villain with a knife to her throat is fucking insane

Are the Dallons actually trained in hostage negotiation and conflict de-escalation? I hope they're not because otherwise I'd have a lot of really pressing and mean questions for their trainers

Also fucked up that Amy's threats involve destroying Taylor's sense of taste, giving her fatal diseases, or *checks notes* making her really really fat, what the hell girl

Hey Tattletale, love you Tattletale, please for the love of god be careful Tattletale

So people have written Tattletale and Glory Girl punching each other with their lips, right? If I'm picking up on some kismesis vibes there's no way other people haven't picked up kismesis vibes

(Sit. Stay. Good girl. Oh my god.)

Interesting that Tattletale seems willing to call Amy's bluff here, though I'm not sure how safe that is

Tattletale: you should know better than to make me monologue about something that'll help you

Glory Girl: yeah I know

Tattletale: but I'm gonna answer your question anyhow

Glory Girl:

Victoria continues to be a huge fucking nerd

Tattletale continues to be outrageously smug and also, tbh, isn't entirely wrong about the expectations of superpowers. She's lying like a rug of course but how should they know that?

Clever! And fucked up. And remarkably powerful on Amy's part, like holy shit. As if the cancer threat wasn't bad enough.

And all the while Tattletale is fucking up Panacea's play with nothing but a laser pointer, with GG too distracted by proving her wrong to realize it

Victoria what the fuck

I'm gonna try to be generous and chalk this up to being written in 2011, but hollllly shit this doesn't reflect well on the character or author

Current Thoughts

Okay so I'm not gonna dwell on the slur, much as I'd love to, let's just leave that one on the side

I find it fascinating that GG considers New Wave immune to the threat of dirty secrets, especially the part about "full transparency." We just saw her nearly kill a suspect on accident and then guilt trip Panacea into healing her to prevent a black mark on the team's record. Like maybe she theoretically believes that stuff as long as she doesn't think too hard about it, but this is absolutely hypocrisy on her part

Victoria and Amy both are just. Really showing their best selves in this arc. I'm not going to act like they're both monsters, they're not. As previously mentioned, they're teenagers in an extremely high-stress situation. Amy's got a knife to her throat and Victoria is extremely protective of her sister and they're facing down two relatively unknown villains on their own

...which I think just points more to the fact that they shouldn't be in this situation to begin with. Amy obviously didn't have much say about whether she'd be a hostage but she definitely didn't have to pick a fight with the villains who had lethally venomous spiders on all the hostages. Victoria, on the other hand, absolutely did not think about what she was doing before doing it, and punched a hole in the roof of what's probably an expensive-ass building in the doing. Is she gonna pay for that? Her millionaire boyfriend?

Next time: Tattletale proves she's the most dangerous Undersider, and nobody regrets this at all

[luvmyoui]

four - why?

previous masterlist next

gp!myoui mina x fem!reader

warnings: toxic relationship, cursing, infidelity, sexism, pregnancy, teacher x student thing (v brief), mentions of sex, tell me if there's anything else!

word count: 2,313

a/n: PLEASE tell me m if this is going too fast, i feel like it is but i need an opinion frm someone reading it, bcz i have a faint idea but i think im going too fast yk?

before mina’s birth, due to the ultrasound pictures, mina was thought to be a boy. unlike most intersex girls, there was nothing unusual about her anatomy. when mina was born, she was recognized as a male and grew up being treated as one. mina wasn't always as bad as she grew up to be, in fact it wasn't until she started spending more time with her grandparents that her view on others changed. 

mina’s grandparents were very old fashioned, they had strong beliefs and they tried their best to instill them in mina. due to the time spent with her grandparents mina eventually started acting the way they did and started to believe the same things as them. they believed that women were meant to stay home and take care of the children while her husband provided for her. their beliefs were passed down to mina who was the sole heir of the family, having had no cousins or siblings. 

7th grade, that's around the time where most hit puberty. the same was for mina, when she turned 12 she finally hit puberty, but it didn't go exactly as expected. 

“dad, my chest keeps getting fatter but i'm not fat, it’s like i'm growing boobs!” mina exclaimed to her father, she had never been more confused. what was going on?

the thought of mina being intersex had never crossed her fathers mind before the day this happened. It also could have been just the hormones from mina hitting puberty which was causing her to grow breast tissue. due to the fact that there could be 2 explanations to this mina’s father saw it best to have her tested. It may have just been her hormones, but just to be safe he decided to get her tested. 

when the results came back it was uncovered that mina indeed was intersex. this information came as a shock to everyone in the myoui family, especially mina. 

“does that mean my dick will fall off?! am i gonna become a girl?!” was what mina first said when she was told that she was indeed intersex and she was growing breasts. 

“listen kiddo, your penis isnt gonna fall off. and technically you are a girl, but that won't change anything. you're still you.” mina’s father replied, trying to comfort her. 

due to how many changes mina was going through because of her gender identity her parents decided to move to a new city to allow mina a fresh start. in mina’s new school she presented herself as a female saying that she didn't want to be trans and she would stick to the gender she looked like. 

mina had never experienced something like changing schools, she didn't know anyone there.  people had tried to bully her, tried to insult her. but it had always backfired, mina would never allow any disrespect towards her. especially from someone below her. mina often got into trouble, but her parents always bought their way out of it. 

mina always seemed to be stirring up trouble at school, her parents figured it was because she didn't have anything else to do. due to this thought they put her in boxing, she seemed to like starting fights so maybe boxing would work as an outlet for her anger instead of her classmates. when proposing the idea, mina was ecstatic, she could now learn new ways to beat up the kids in her school.

despite her hard and mean demeanor, mina fairly quickly rose to be the most popular in her school. It had always been like that, mina being the most popular and sought out student by others. being the most popular girl in her school and the prettiest, she had many admirers, majority of them being males. her many male suitors quickly diminished though, when she was caught in the boys locker room comparing sizes with the quarterback. 

ever since that day it was made known to everyone that mina had a dick, and a big one at that. 

mina’s popularity wasn't just among her peers, mina was also quite popular among the teachers. she always turned her work in on time and was constantly participating during class. not only was she an exceptional student, but the money her teachers were gifted during teacher appreciation week made them like her all the more. for this reason whenever mina would get into trouble with other students the teachers would often turn a blind eye or take mina’s side. along with being arguably the most favored student, there were many rumors that she was favored in other ways too. 

“hey mina, you know the new teacher, the hot one?” shawn asked, the quarterback of the football team and mina's best friend. 

“yeah, i have her for history, why?” 

“you’re always talking about how you can pull any girl in the school, so i dare you to fuck her and record it.” shawn said to mina and her eyes widened in shock, this was only their sophomore year. how early did he want her kicked out? 

“fuck, okay. by next month ill get you a video of that bitch sucking my dick.” mina responded, she would never turn down a dare, especially one that included fucking someone. 

and true to her word by the next month she had sent a video into the group chat with all her friends of the said teacher on her knees sucking minas cock. It made sense to them that the teacher would sleep with mina but to let her record it? everyone was baffled at how she did it. In response mina just said that the teacher obviously didn't know she was being recorded. the video for obvious reasons didn't make it out of the group chat but it did cause many unconfirmed rumors amongst the students. 

although mina was known for fucking around, and never taking anyone seriously, that all changed when she met y/n. y/n was different, her beauty was on another level. The moment mina laid eyes on y/n she knew she was done for. that was the moment her reputation changed from fuckboy to lovergirl. she pursued y/n for months before she was given a chance but even while pursuing y/n there was nothing more that mina would want to do. y/n was it for her, she knew she wanted forever with y/n. 

mina had never acted this way, she would skip out on parties to spend time chasing after y/n. she refused all advances from other girls saying she was taken, it might not have been official but the moment mina saw y/n she was taken. It wasn't like you were a nobody either, everyone knew the y/n l/n you were only second to mina in popularity. mina for some reason had never noticed you, too focused on her own life; she never knew of your existence until she saw you laughing with your friends at a party. 

dating someone like mina wasn't always the easiest thing, mina had this huge superiority complex. your relationship with her was always you compromising on things. she acted as if she owned you, you weren't allowed to have any male friends, but she was allowed to be friends with anyone. 

mina would never tell you, but she liked the power trip she got whenever she was with you. you were the perfect girlfriend, you never complained, and you always did what she said. mina never wanted to lose you, no matter how it seemed or how she treated you she knew that she’d never find someone like you. 

when you had first told her you were pregnant mina couldn't believe it, it was like a dream. she had always wanted kids, especially with you. You were her girl and you were gonna have her baby. she honestly had no bad intentions, she always loved kids, having a son was always something she wanted.

the day she was told you were pregnant she called her grandparents, they were in japan so she couldn't personally meet them but she wanted their advice. the one person mina respected the most was her grandfather, and now that she was going to have a kid she wanted his advice. her grandfather told her that she should treat her girlfriend exceptionally because she was carrying the next generation. he told her that having a son was the best gift she could be blessed with. 

with her new found advice and information mina tried her hardest to be an amazing girlfriend to y/n. she obviously wouldn’t lie and say she enjoyed staying up at night while y/n cried and vomited but she still loved y/n and her child on the way. sometimes she would question herself and why she was even doing all this, why she was missing out on sleep for this stupid reason. y/n could do this herself, why did she always insist on mina staying up with her. mina never voiced these thoughts but they stayed on her mind.

mina felt so accomplished when she found out that she had in fact gotten y/n pregnant, and not only that, y/n was also going to keep the baby. all of her friends were surprised when she told them and didn't believe that mina had in fact knocked up the y/n l/n. y/n was known for her reputation of being a virgin and never getting intimate with anyone, much less getting pregnant. 

when the baby was born and the gender was seen to be a girl, mina was incredibly disappointed. she knew that y/n could have another baby but mina knew y/n would never agree to it. she resented y/n, it wasn't the child's fault for being born the way she was, it was y/n’s fault. deep down mina knew that no one was to blame but she could help but need someone to blame. 

maybe that's what led her to seek comfort in the arms of another, y/n’s body wasn't as desirable as it used to be. you had gained weight due to the pregnancy and mina hated that, she would often make comments on your body and weight in hopes that you would change it. the change was taking too long and mina was getting tired of waiting. she had needs and if you couldn't fulfill them she would have to find others to. 

mina tried to tell herself that it was you who made her do this, it was you who forced her into doing this. she left the home when you were sleeping and left to go to a party, ‘this is y/n’s fault, it’s on y/n’ is what she’d repeat to herself. she found someone pretty in no time, and she dragged them up to one of the rooms not letting her lips leave their skin. 

as she fucked the other girl all she could think of was you, the way your eyes squinted as you laughed, the smell of you, the way you said her name. she couldn't do this. mina didn't realize it, but the tears were pouring out of her eyes and onto the back of the girl under her. she never hated herself more, she wanted to throw up. She hadn’t drank anything, but she felt sick to her stomach. she pulled out and pulled up her pants, the other girl was confused and as she went to ask mina what happened mina left. 

she went back to her shared apartment with you and showered, she needed to wash it off, she felt disgusted with herself. how could she have done this, she sat in under the shower crying to herself. she hated herself for what she had done, she never thought of herself as cruel but there was no other word to use for her actions other than cruel. 

her skin was all pruned up by the time she exited the shower, she laid behind you in bed crying quietly into your shoulder. feeling the wetness on your shoulder you slowly stirred awake and turned around to see mina crying. she refused to tell you what upset her but she kept repeating ‘i love you’ and ‘i'm sorry’. you had no idea why she was saying this but you just wrapped your hands around her as she buried her face in your neck. 

after that day mina changed, it was a confusing change, and it led you to believe that mina was now cheating on you. after that day mina started acting more distant. you didn't know what happened but you could smell perfume that wasn't yours on her clothes when you washed them. mina was confused, maybe if mina was a different person she would've found herself wrong and changed. but in the end mina was still mina and she kept the thought that you made her do it in her head. the cheating stopped, but the way she treated you stayed the same. 

the thought that mina was mistreating you never crossed her mind once, you were made to take care of children, to cook, and to clean. her telling you to do this was the bare minimum, in mina’s eyes she treated you amazingly. 

mina never treated you badly, she loved you so much and she would never mistreat a loved one. her wanting to become an idol shouldn't have been a surprise for you and you should have supported her. she was the victim in this situation. maybe she wasn't as present in her child's life as she should've been, but if that really bothered you then it was your fault for not saying anything. 

If mina really hadn't done anything wrong then why did she feel so empty as she boarded the plane to korea only accompanied by your words. 

a/n: lets ignore that mina never had a boy name and all the other things that don't make sense🤗🤗 also im sorry if this is bad i didn't know what to write😭😭

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