#first-rate hospital
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
nnngggg i think i'm allergic to this new medication too :(
#inconclusive because i'm on so many steroids and antihistamines as it is but i have those vibes#am i swallowing weird or do i just not usually pay such close attention to the feeling of swallowing in g-rated situations?#it feels like it's working though so it might be one of those balancing acts with other meds or desensitization protocol time#i only took a half dose for the first day so perhaps it'll be clearer tomorrow (but hopefully not of course)#and there's the whole thing where i'm out of inhaled steroids because they discontinued flovent... there's a lot going on#i feel like i'm beating the hell out of my body which was already struggling so much and is really trying its best :(#(fyi i'm PLENTY familiar with anaphylaxis and do not need to rush to a hospital)#(but this is. a bummer if true.)#the symptoms
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ok I'm Probably going to stfu now thanks for listening to my rambling
#This is the first time I've been able to breathe in days. I can feel literally thing aside from my constant 120bpm heart rate again#(<- I measured it. Genuinely surprised I survived without cbd or a trip to the hospital)#Anyway yeah I'm in a bit of a state right now. Band aid ripped off. It makes me yap. Sorry#*literally anything#not literally thing
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I can't believe I walked into my first (ish) day of work at a new part time job today and basically said "why are you all so white" 💀💀💀
#i'm working in a forensic hospital#and the first thing they did was bring me to rounds#which was a meeting with like all of the psychiatrists and nurses and stuff#and literally everyone there was white (or perhaps white passing- i dont know everyone's ethnicity)#and afterwards my boss asked me if i had any questions or thoughts#and the first thing i said was that everyone in that meeting was white#WHY DID I DO THAT???#I mean. I was trying to call attention to the fact that maybe they should be employing more diversely#especially given the fact that they're treating a highly racialized population#(black and indigenous peoples are incarcerated at higher rates in canada)#But. it really wasn't my place to say really.#i'm just there as a research assistant to help them build their database#my opinions on the people they hire really have NO weight#though. it was bugging me in particular that one of the nurses was talking about a patient being agitated#and calling another person names#and the nurse was like 'and he called him everything other than a white man!'#and i'm just there like 'okay why does that matter? 😭'#i didnt bring that up though. not good to complain about your new fucking coworkers#i also dont think i explained my reasoning for mentioning that we had a really white group very well#i started fumbling when i acknowledged that there could have just been white passing people there#and then he asked me to explain what that term meant 💀💀💀
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I fucking hate Oregon it's filled with white goyim who pride themselves on how progressive the state is, when in reality they are just ignoring, speaking over, and driving out minorities.
#filled to the brim with performative activism#its fucking sinister#did yall know its also rated rock bottom in states regarding the treatment of mental health for young people? the 51st. below 50.#and I have first hand experience of that lmao. twice. and I can tell you its fucking awful for jews especially#twice hospitalized that is#literally got abused starved neglected drugged with g-d knows what#definitely not just something 'for anxiety' it was a fucking heavy ass sedative#anyways i hate it here and i have got to get out
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
stick with you
Written by soft_satan
Words: 5929
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV)
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Characters:
Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley, Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Howie "Chimney" Han, Bobby Nash, Isabel Diaz, Christopher Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Maddie Buckley, Original Female Character(s), Original Characters
Additional Tags:
Whump, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Impalement, Hospitals, Getting Together, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, Hurt Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Impaled
Summary:
Eddie licked his dry lips as he reached for his radio, trying to keep his movements slow and delicate to prevent any more damage to himself or Buck. “Diaz to Captain Nash.” “Go for Nash,” came Bobby’s quick reply. “You two okay? Where are you?” “We’re in a bit of a sticky situation here…” “We’re a shish kabob, Cap!” Buck chimed in. Eddie rolled his eyes.
#buddie#911#911 on abc#buddie fanfic rec#buddie fanfiction#first kiss#getting together#rated t#fluff#fluff and angst#emotional hurt/comfort#hurt/comfort#hurt evan buckley#hurt eddie diaz#angst with a happy ending#whump#hospital#love confessions#5 10k
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
I just found one of those tiktoks of the spotify playlists that say stuff and one of the slides had one of chonny's songs I'm gonna go into a corner now to calm down
#azzichats#this hyperfixation is gonna put me in the hospital with how high my heart rate gets when seeing related stuff#or im gonna go crazy guess which happens first
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
indefinite hiatus from tumblr [where 'indefinite' does not mean 'forever', merely 'a week? two weeks? a month? who even knows at this point']
still be available for DMs for a bit at least, but I'll not be checking my notifications or dash. tag me if you want me to see something in ??? time :)
love y'all
#been thinking about this for a bit anyhow#hopefully by the time i return i will have my life together! ha. ha.#hopefuly by the time i return i will have a cat. i have no idea of the likelihood of this#edit oh look the tags are becoming a mess#tw sh#tw suicide#16% mortality rate they say#i want to die and i want to harm and i don't want to eat ever again pls and thankyou <3 but i will be fine.#for some definition of fine#and yeah not taking a hiatus from discord yet tho i probably will in a bit#i don't even know lol im just here and existing and not wanting to be#i found a knife in my room i didn't know i had when i was cleaning up stuff. i gave it to my mum tho so there's nothin in my room etc#i mean. not like i don't know ways to harm and/or die with what i do have. thanks brain. but a) messy and b) parents would notice#honestly tho i do not see myself surviving until my twenty-first birthday. i just don't. not without at the very least a stint in a psych#hospital. which i DO NOT WANT if i can help it#but how to get that across to parents i wonder. they know about almost everything (almost).#they vaguely know im somewhat suicidal. but not to the extent it is. nor about the actual attempt. and that i shall not tell them. based on#the way they reacted to hearing i harm. nope. not telling them that.#anyway! can you tell i need a break from things xP#personal#just. yknow. keep me in your prayers#also yeah if anyone wants my discord just DM me for it
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
Just as with nature walks, I am not to be trusted unattended in a library. I went in to pick up one book and left with four others with two on reserve.
#I’m so upset though! in the ENTIRE COUNTY no library had A First Rate Tragedy#there one cd audiobook in like. porthcurno. or bodmin or somewhere beginning with P or B#I like to be able to hold books ya know?#but. yeah. every single book I got today was history in some manner#Sagittarius Rising; Cornwall during The First World War#a collection of Cornish History Essays; Modern Cornish Grammar and a history thereof#and a biography abt Pellew bc I actually can’t not read more after the little snippets in Truro During The Napoleonic Wars#luckily I may be sent to hospital (I guess unluckily) depending on how this appointment goes#so I’ll have PLENTY of time to read#estoy emocionado#new books! new books!#*used books! used books!#if I have to start IV antibiotics I REFUSE to be bored while doing so
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
so glad making fun of The Good Doctor has come into the popular zeitgeist bc frankly they got away with that shit for way too long
#I only watched one (1) episode of The Good Doctor lmao#I stopped watching when the opening scene was an entire hospital board was blatantly and openly violating the ADA and the one person#who said anything didn't even point out they were violating the ADA or just being Morally Wrong he was like oh but this Autistic is special#like????? hello???? what the fuck do you Mean he went to med school and graduated like everyone else why the fuck does he need to be#a goddamn savant to get the job he's literally trained for what the fuck#and obviously I know this shit happens irl cause like autistic adults have an 80% unemployment rate for a Reason#but the narrative wasn't addressing this as a systemic problem it was framing it like not that they were wrong on principle but that they#were wrong about this one specific autistic person#and that's not the point!#and this guy who stood up for this one single autistic person and not autistics in general is treated like a goddamn hero and martyr as if#it's not the goddamn law that people should be treated equally#holy SHIT#and that's only like the first 10 minutes
2 notes
·
View notes
Photo
PRIMA PAGINA Usa Today di Oggi giovedì, 25 luglio 2024
#PrimaPagina#usatoday quotidiano#giornale#primepagine#frontpage#nazionali#internazionali#news#inedicola#oggi state#columnist#stars#catch#living#washington#assassinate#kennedy#rally#first#care#backup#after#case#neve#extended#hospital#rate#account#club
0 notes
Text
oh tracy chapman we're really in it now....
#every single bill is overdue. my aunt dipped into her 401k because our trailer was about to be taken#a 600 dollar electric bill because the rates are up so much since we're in a 24/7 heat aversion and have 85%+ humidity constantly#water theyre trying to work with us but thats also overdue and the money we used to do a partial payment is money we don't have#car payment is & its fucking up REAL bad. 2 out of 4 o2 sensors are bad and shes kicking real bad anytime she idles and drives#and now shes getting stuck between the first and second gear. even parked its trying to throw into gear automatically#but driving from a light and it either barely creeps or it LURCHES real bad and is randomly accelerating and struggles to slow down#which. each sensor is about 50 to 70 bucks. we don't know which ones are fucked so its crossing fingers. my uncle is going to put her up#on blocks when we can scrape it together and im going to change two because i live 30ish minutes from a real store with a car#so we cant go without one since we literally only go to the store to get a day or two of groceries since. cant fucking afford anything.#still have hospital shit and bills and paperwork#paperwork with the company my dads driving under and they keep fucking with his paycheck#and now his air is struggling to work in the truck which is dangerous since#hes already got congestive heart failure & is working hard manual labor in extreme heat#and the power in the trailer keeps going off because the weather and blowouts from everyone using it#its 10:35pm and its 94f in here still. earlier it was 98 in here as outside is even worst and muggy#& our air doesn't work. my aunt had one (1) window unit that we're using with the doors shut but it doesn't do shit#and im still stress over my mither since she just had her fucking heart attack and none of this stress and conditions is helping#and my 'i want to cut everyone off leave me alone' isolation tendencies is in full swing#but. whatever. all cool and super 👍👍#I'm sorry for being quiet for a bit and coming back with a tag rant that ill delete later but. man.#anyways. updating the gfm's now and im sorry i haven't been on enough to keep more consistent.#thats been really selfish of me. ive set an alarm to remind me to update them and reblog for spread so hopefully going#forward they'll be more consistent. please remember to reblog even if you cant donate.
1 note
·
View note
Text
Unspecified issue that im going to blame on my pika hospital rating time in a non linear order 4/10
I had to go to the ER twice since they didn't believe me the first time
Despite being afab between 4 women nurses and 1 male nurse the guy was the only one who came back like 4 times to my room to make sure I got an ultrasound and the
women kept trying to brush me off and say it was just period cramps [i am not on my period fuck you], etc thank hell for that guy. He also drove my hospital bed [since I could not fucking move more than like 2 feet] like a damn racecar and took some really smooth corners and that was very fun. Actually the way he handled it makes me think the [3/4] girls that treated me had like an ongoing rumor about shitty care or something
Another girl failed at putting in my IV twice and brought over "the IV guy" who was about to go on lunch break and they literally had to ultrasound my veins to find a good spot i sincerly apologized like 5 times for "having the shittiest veins in the west"
I had to lie multiple times and say my pain was a 9 in order to get pain meds. Yes I did want to cry but that's like a 7.5 I was not dying and whoever decided a 10 was crying obviously never has had chronic ankle and knee pain [or any chronic pain but y'know. Those are my chronics]. Despite sending me home for period cramps the first time in the ER I said my pain was at a 7.5 and they didn't give me Jack shit [they had to bump up the pain medication they gave me to be stronger so I don't think it woulda worked anyway, just maybe delay how long it took for me to beg to be taken back to the ER]
I was supposed to see the Garfield movie and had to have minor surgery like 3 hours before so womp womp [I am able to refund the tickets and am determined to see it in theaters]
I GOT ICE CUBES?? THEY GIVE YOU ICE CUBES?? brings it up from a 4/10 to a 6/10 honestly bitches love ice cubes
My assigned nurse read fanfiction and I told her about that one 400 chapter batim fanfic and she reaffirmed the name of it like 3 times shes definitely into that shit Good luck gal. I also said "i read this Hermitcraft fanfic-" and she immediately went "HERMITCRAFT??? Oh we are not on the same sides of ao3" and I'm still very unsure of what I implied or what she implied by that so I just transitioned into telling her about my sonic death fanfic from 2019
In the waiting room the second time I went they were playing a horror movie that used a theremin [that one famous no hand instrument] and the movie played the same 4 note creepy audio clip like 7 times in 30 seconds with no dialogue in between each time. What was. What was that excuse me?? Also it was like 11 pm at this point
So yippee me irrational [?] fear of my useless organ I forgot the name of exploding being the thing to have a risk of permanently fucking me over was Not the thing to bring me to the hospital. Here's doodles from my hospital visit taken in approximately shitty lighting that I mind my damn best to save with filters
Also you made it this far read the alt tags
#it was not in fact caused by pika but i do have pika so fuck you you do not need to know why i was in the hospital#the trip both fully solidified why i fucking hate hospitals and why hospitals are usually the best option#like i think i would have had pernament damage/bled out/had an ambulance called if i didnt insist on going back to the ER within an hour#and my nana insisted on going with me to be a karen since shes had cancer like 3 times so i actually got treated this that time yippee#fuck you to the two girls that saw me the first time i went to the er [where i had to wait 2 fucking hours] and thought i was just absolute#-ly fucking insane and bonkers or some shit. they used medical terms to call me a liar to my face. second time i went the wait was only lik#15-30 minutes at the most?? even if i had to stay overnight thats fuckin better than 3 hours#i also took the uh anti anxiety shit they offer before a surgery so i do not remember anything unfortunately or else i would have rated tha#the post surgery girl did listen to me when i said crackers were too salty and got me jello in my preferred color though!!#talk talks#also the read more is weird because ✨ clickbait in the middle of a run on sentence ✨#also i turned reblogs off so my friends that reblog my items. please just leave me an ask in my inbox i do not want my hospital experience#going all over tumblr i want it to stay on My Account#forgot to mention i specifically mean the like 3 people that reblog with a matching rant in the tags. ill know its about this post dw
1 note
·
View note
Text
Man but the notes on that post really are just tumblr showing they have no idea how anything works.
"report to your local animal abuse people not to cops" local animal abuse people would be animal control. Animal control officers are cops.
"rabies is treatable if you go to the doctor right after the bite" rabies is PREVENTABLE, not treatable. There is no cure for rabies. If you suspect you came into contact with a rabid animal, you need to get a series of rabies vaccinations to prevent the virus from taking over your body. This is not a treatment and it only works if you go right away. If you show any symptoms of rabies it is too late.
"rabies is fatal in animals but treatable in humans" rabies has a 100% fatality rate and is not considered a survivable disease at this point in time. If you contract rabies YOU WILL DIE. The "treatment" in humans is called the Milwaukee Protocol, only 14% of people survive it, and it leaves you with massive brain damage and effectively turns you into a vegetable. You do not return to a normal life afterwards. Very few people who have undergone this process are capable of doing more than laying in a hospital bed and eating and breathing through tubes. To my knowledge only one person was able to live a semi-normal life after years and years of ongoing therapy and was not expected to have made it even through her first year after treatment.
I cannot stress enough how rabies is unlike any other disease you may be thinking of. It's required on a federal level in this country to vaccinate pretty much any domestic animal that comes into contact with wildlife for one reason and one reason only: it is not considered possible to cure rabies and the spread of disease would threaten all mammalian life including our own if allowed to continue to propagate.
36K notes
·
View notes
Text
The economic indicators speak of nothing less than an economic catastrophe. Over 46,000 businesses have gone bankrupt, tourism has stopped, Israel’s credit rating was lowered, Israeli bonds are sold at the prices of almost “junk bonds” levels, and the foreign investments that have already dropped by 60% in the first quarter of 2023 (as a result of the policies of Israel’s far-right government before October 7) show no prospects of recovery. The majority of the money invested in Israeli investment funds was diverted to investments abroad because Israelis do not want their own pension funds and insurance funds or their own savings to be tied to the fate of the State of Israel. This has caused a surprising stability in the Israeli stock market because funds invested in foreign stocks and bonds generated profit in foreign currency, which was multiplied by the rise in the exchange rate between foreign currencies and the Israeli Shekel. But then Intel scuttled a $25 billion investment plan in Israel, the biggest BDS victory ever. These are all financial indicators. But the crisis strikes deeper at the means of production of the Israeli economy. Israel’s power grid, which has largely switched to natural gas, still depends on coal to supply demand. The biggest supplier of coal to Israel is Colombia, which announced that it would suspend coal shipments to Israel as long as the genocide was ongoing. After Colombia, the next two biggest suppliers are South Africa and Russia. Without reliable and continuous electricity, Israel will no longer be able to pretend to be a developed economy. Server farms do not work without 24-hour power, and no one knows how many blackouts the Israeli high-tech sector could potentially survive. International tech companies have already started closing their branches in Israel. Israel’s reputation as a “startup nation” depends on its tech sector, which in turn depends on highly educated employees. Israeli academics report that joint research with universities abroad has declined sharply thanks to the efforts of student encampments. Israeli newspapers are full of articles about the exodus of educated Israelis. Prof. Dan Ben David, a famous economist, argued that the Israeli economy is held together by 300,000 people (the senior staff in universities, tech companies, and hospitals). Once a significant portion of these people leaves, he says, “We won’t become a third world country, we just won’t be anymore.”
19 July 2024
6K notes
·
View notes
Text
Innocents among you
Part Two to TRAITORS AMONG US
SIMON RILEY X FEM!READER TASK FORCE 141 X FEM!READER
Summary: Your torture is over, but is it really? There is only the torment in your mind now. The nightmares, the flashbacks, the flowers at your hospital bed and the tormentors awaiting the relief of your forgiveness.
Part 3!!
Part 4
If you liked this would you Buy me a Coffee?
---
You flatlined twice, almost as soon as you were handed off to the medics.
Committing themselves to doing CPR before bringing in the defibrillator for an electric charge to your sudden cardiac arrest. "Clear!" They restarted your heart just outside the hallway of your cell, Simon held back by Price as your heart stopped again within the same minute and panic ensued. Johnny and Kyle hearing the news, rushing up towards the hall, their footsteps probably the echo that you held onto as your heart rate picked back up.
Clearly, you lived.
You didn't have the luxury of going comatose immediately after. As you would've preferred.
You'd awoken hours after the medical team carried you off to the infirmary. Still on edge, still plagued by discomfort and cold, despite the lights of the recovery facility and the nurses that paraded around you.
Morphine wears off in about 6 hours, so you were up wailing in agony within the same time. Clearly no one expected you up so soon, but you hadn't slept in days, at least not more than an hour. Jerking up involuntarily, hands all over you to keep you down and steady, you could hear a familiar doctor's attempt to calm you down. But, the blistering pain that radiated from every pore in your body was ringing so loud, a present noise that blocked everything out.
So, at first, you'd been terrified, attempting to clutch onto the first thing you'd woken up to. But, you couldn't move, at least not voluntarily.
With the damage to your spine for countless hours, days, and what you had discovered to be two fucking weeks of endless torture, you'd undergone three difference corrective surgeries that would 'possibly' fix the nerve and circulatory damage done to you. It had left you nearly completely immobile since your admission into the infirmary. The doctors were quite astonished that you were even alive...
The nurses were patient enough with your panicked state to slowly ease you out of your stupor. But, at times it wasn't easy, especially when you didn't even know where you were at first. Since you couldn't see...
You were blind for about four days. Everything a tinted red for a few more after you'd regained your sight.
Fevers plagued you for the week, skin that was raw and inflamed from the severe cold and constant dousing from the pipes, you couldn't move if you wanted to.
The first thing you'd been graced to see were the multiple arrangements of flowers, lilies, white tulips, hydrangeas, roses...typical assortments of regret and remorse.
"Can someone throw these away?" had been your first words.
The nurse who had been checking over your vitals looks over at the flowers, the were all over the desk, even on the floor lining the windows, once they ran out of space to put them. It was beautiful. But, she knew why. Everyone knew why. You were quite famous here in the infirmary, as you were in special unit. "Of course."
They were out within the day. The room bare once more.
And then you saw them outside your infirmary window. Just a glimpse. Around the time you were still getting your sight back.
Seeing them for the first time since everything made bile build up in your throat, a screaming fear that created a pulsing headache.
Kyle, Johnny, Price and...you didn't see Simon.
Price was...a statue. Not moving an inch. His hand against his mouth, covering up the aching distress anyone could see on his face.
Kyle was pacing, back and forth and back and forth. Making an offhanded comment at one of them every few seconds.
But, Johnny was talking, pointing spitefully at someone out of your view.
He was there too then. Simon.
Turning away from the window, you couldn't look at them anymore.
"Don't let them in," you breathe out to your doctor as she sets down a trayed mug on your sliding table as she sits you up to drink a hot cup of tea, which you had requested. "Any of them. Please." You were still so cold, you couldn't imagine dealing with any type of cold weather for a while after dealing with this.
She's confused a moment, before turning to the doorway, where she recalled seeing the four men waiting outside in the hallway. She's seen them just sitting there for days now, they wouldn't beg or argue to come in, they'd just wait. It's not like you were cleared for visitors yet anyway.
Every morning she clocked in for the job, there they were. Sitting there like abandoned children, awaiting the moment the door would open to be welcomed inside.
It was like they never left.
Of course she knew who they were to you. Word spreads fast on the base. Especially for a Task Force as 'famous' as they were around here.
Squeezing your shoulder, comfortingly. Feeling protective, your doctor spoke, "Of course," she slides the mug forward a bit, taking the teaspoon to stir once and lift it to toward your lips to sip. "Blow," she guided.
You did. And sipped.
And it was warmer than any blanket they'd wrapped you in.
---
Prior to being able to trudge around on your own, with the help of a crutch you'd been given to go to the bathroom by yourself finally, the nurses had sponged you down in bed. Your spinal surgeries led to you being at risk if they made efforts to remove you from your bed for anything more than a medical emergency.
Mostly, because you're terrified of the showerhead....and it's pathetic, but no one judges you for it as you opt for a sponge bath every time instead. Even if you're shaking as the water slides down your skin even now. The last thing you needed on top of all this was to develop aquaphobia.
Today was the first day you could do it on you own, limping your way to the bathroom with your crutch. The smell of bleach is much stronger in here, it stings your nose.
You stared at the metal stool left tucked at the side, walking around it as if it would pounce up and attack you, you try not to look at it. You'd been doing well without panic attacks for a few days now, just hold it together.
Taking a breath, you reach out to the handle for the spout, glancing up at the showerhead, before back down. Swallowing thickly when you begin to turn it before pausing, hearing the water rush up the pipe to spill out. Turning it back up just as quickly, shutting off the pipe, you inhale deeply, trembling now, hand up to the chilled tile to steady yourself.
You'll try again, you had to.
Drip...
Drip...
Unable to help yourself, the sudden rush of paranoia that runs through you is terrible, a hoarse cry leaves you. You shove yourself away from the shower stall, back ramming into the doorframe, catching yourself, and away from the showerhead as the water drips, slowly from the faucet.
Drip...
Drip...
As panic tightened its grip around your chest, your breaths quickly turned to short, sharp gasps. The room spinning, colors blurring into a dizzying whirlwind. You turn swiftly, nearly knocking yourself off your feet as the thudding of your own heart startles you, you can hear it in your ears, in your hands, in your feet.
You press a trembling hand to your chest, clawing over the area, trying to slow the frantic pace of your breathing, but it only seemed to escalate. The small room narrowing to a black hole of fear and suffocation, every gasp began to disorient you, turning lightheaded.
As tears welled in your eyes, you collapse against the side wall, sliding down to the tiled floor. Slamming your palm against your chest, once, twice, as hot tears leave streaks down your bruised face, you beg your lungs to expand and wait for your breathing to regulate.
Beginning to sob uncontrollably as you hit yourself in the chest again and again and again, waiting for the moment you found yourself able to breathe.
Why did this have to happen?
You remember the violent swing of the baton against your face, the sting it leaves afterwards, the immediate spotting of bruises forming. The memory startles you, receding back into yourself, back to that day.
"It wasn't me..." you cried loudly, in the empty room. It echoes against the tiles.
Simon wrapping his hands around your neck, staring you down as he squeezed, maliciously. You couldn't breathe as your lover shook with the strength he uses to hold himself back from taking your life.
"I'm sorry," you hiccupped. "I'm--I'm sorry," you're not sure when you crawled yourself into the corner, the lights of the bathroom flickering off dimly from your lack of movement. As you're drowned in darkness, the water dripping from the spout, the cold tile against your skin, it's too much. You scramble upwards, running out of the bathroom.
The automatic lights flicker back on inside, but you're too in your head to notice.
Stumbling down to your knees as you feel the rip of a ruined stitching tearing along your side. "Ah!" comes your startled cry. Making it to the side of your hospital bed, you fist your hand through your sheets, unable to stand yourself up.
Taking pained breaths against the sterile sheets, you bury your head in them, cursing whatever luck you thought you had in this life.
They were your family...
All you had for so many years...
As your breathing slows to distraught, agonized huffs of air, sniffling to yourself as you catch sight of your face in the metal frame of your hospital bed. The dark purple bruises beneath your eyes as the swelling gradually went down, the still bloodshot left eye of yours, the twelve stitches on the left side of your face. So gruesome you knew it would scar you for life, a permanent reminder on your fucking face.
Anger bubbled up inside you at the sight of it. At the memory that would always follow when you'd look at it.
Anger that you hadn't been able to properly feel until now.
Anger that you feared to have until today.
"Are you alright?" the sound of his voice makes you visible tense.
Simon.
He's here.
You don't turn to face him, if you did, you'd revert back to the person you were cowering into moments ago. "The door was open...I just--" he pauses, swallowing thickly. "Lemme help you up."
Hearing his footsteps suddenly moving closer, you speak fast. "STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" you scream over your shoulder, tucking yourself further away from him. "Do NOT move."
He stops in his tracks. You catch the sight of him in the metal framing of the bed, he's a blur in the metal, but you notice his mask is gone, he's Simon Riley now, not Ghost as he appeared to you in the interrogation cell.
"Don't you dare get any closer," you spat.
"I heard you," he spoke, carefully. Mouth opening and closing, before speaking again. "But, you don't have to be stubborn. If you stay there any longer you could tear your stitches."
"Whose fault is that?"
Simon shifts his stance on his feet, waits a second. "I know. And I can never begin to tell you how sorry I am for what I did. What we all did to you," he says, quietly. "The intel we discovered...or that was forged, it came from a source we've used a dozen times, (Y/n), we thought it was true. It had to be. We've never been misled before."
"So..." your nails bite into your skin, you make an amused sound, biting down on your lip for a moment, till it hurt. " That's what you came here to say, huh? What you waited days to--. Is this you justifying--"
"No, (y/n), that's not--"
"--why you tortured me, strangled me, stripped me, in that fucking cell, Simon?"
"We had to believe it, at the time..."
"Was I not a trusted source?" you argued. "Had I not proven more than a thousand times that you could trust me? I've fought next to you, laid in your bed, given you my love, my trust, I--" you shook with rage at the time and energy wasted on time family, this relationship, if the end goal was always meant to just be this.. "I thought that was at least half the reason you decided to marry me..." at the mention of your relationship, you could see the way Simon nearly lost his balance, hands coming up to run along his face. "You told me you would kill me in that room..."
"I was just talking, I wouldn't have--" his voice cracks as he whispers, trying to convince.
"When you left, I thought you'd come back to kill me any minute, or Price, to spare you. I waited to die for two days, terrified out of my mind. I wondered about heaven, not if I'd make it... but what it'd be like, what I'd be missing out on," you thought back to your time in that cell, a haunted expression Simon couldn't see. "While you all got a good nights rest, woke up for some bacon and eggs, and listened to the warden tell you that your prisoner was framed...for a crime you'd already punished her for..." you stuttered on your breathing, tears flowing silently.
Simon inhales deeply. "I could never expect you to forgive me. I-I had taken my hurt out on you, I thought you did it, I was so sure. I couldn't hear what you were saying, I just could see the evidence, and I--I'm sorry. I'm sorry, love. I'm truly--" he gets to his knees behind you.
"Get up."
"I can never tell you how sorry I am---"
"Simon."
"I never should've done this to you. If I could ever--" his voice rising with distressed breaths, you didn't have to look at him to see his face a mess of sorrow, tears that would mix into the stubble on his face.
"Simon!"
"--make it up to you. If you could ever find it in your to forgive me, (y/n). I'll spend the rest of my life--" he gets closer, reaching out.
Whipping around, stiffening completely as you feel the graze of his fingers across your skin, "DON'T TOUCH ME!" you shove your back against your bedding, your hand swinging and flying across his face. His head snapping to the side as he pauses, freezing up where he kneels, having completely forgotten your request to stay put. "What's the matter with you! Even now? Even now, you can't just listen to this one thing?!"
"I-I'm sorry..." He looks at you, finally seeing your face clearly and up close since it all happened. Finally he can see the bruises along your face, the blood that fills your eye, the dark bruise still around your neck.
Seeing him. He looks rough. Honestly, he looks terrible. His hair shaggy and falling over his eye. Dark circles with bags under them. Pale, and thinner than he should be.
His jaw clenches with guilt and he averts his eyes, you continue. "How could I forgive you for this?" you stare at him, "I could forgive you, if you hadn't let them chain me up like an animal. If you hadn't watched them drown me for hours, beat me black and blue and left me screaming for days. I could forgive you if you had just believed me even for a moment." you feign thoughtfulness. "How about you look at my face. My wrists. My legs! MY FUCKING SPINE, SIMON!"
"Nothing I can say or do, will ever make any of it ok, I know that. And I can't ask for you to ever forgive--"
"What could I possible owe you in this life, that makes you think I'd even think about forgiving any of you for the things you did to me?" you gritted out, angrily.
Simon's head drops, a slow, shuttering sigh leaves him. "I'll never stop trying to make this right. Never."
"...Get out, Simon."
"I'm sorry."
"Simon."
"I'm so sorry..." he reaches out again.
"Ghost."
He's silent this time, fingers tensing, out in mid air.
"I never wanna see you again."
"I love you, (Y/n)," he confessed, eyes feral and wide. Pulling at the ends of your slip.
"I don't want to hear that, Ghost," kicking away from him. "Stop it."
"I couldn't stop even as it happened--"
"Shut up. And get out," shaking as you sneered at his desperate attempts. "It's over, Ghost."
"And I took it on you. It hurt so much, I couldn't think," Simon's face twisted with agony and remorse. "I'm sorry!"
He was making you lose your goddamn mind, you broke. "GET THE FUCK OUT!" screaming at one another as overwhelming tears escaped your eyes.
---
It's quiet in your hospital room, it's empty now, the door closed this time.
The door knob turns and opens again a moment later. "Oh no, Ms. (L/n)!" luckily it was your assigned nurse, who takes your arm and fixes it around her shoulder before helping haul yourself up to your feet. "What're you doing on the floor? There's a call button for a reason," she scolds as you sit on the edge of your bed.
You're quiet.
Alarmingly so for your nurse, who notices the pulled stitching that creates a line of blood down your side. "If this is about what happened to you..." the nurse started, speaking carefully, pulling a lining of gauze from the side to press to your skin. You don't even wince at the pressure, even when she begins to clean and replace the broken stitch. "Don't let it break you. Not even further than this experience already has..." she says, while through the last stitch and prepping a bandage.
"I've been broken long before this," you whispered, looking towards the afternoon sun shining through your window. "This. This didn't break me, no," you admitted, before glancing up with glossy eyes, rage hidden beneath a profound look of sadness. "It destroyed me."
Her hand pauses at your side, your words startling, turning to see the tear that slips down your cheek. Knowing now how deep your scars were from this, before gently sliding the last of the bandage across your skin. "Do not think you are irreparable. That time can't heal your wounds."
"But, there's always reminders," touching the stitches on your cheek, "some things can't be forgiven."
"I never said to forgive..." the nurse interjected. "If you could, after all this, you're stronger than any woman that could be named."
You snicker at that, humming soundly. "That's an interesting thought. I guess I'm one of the weaker ones then."
"And yet, still the strongest I've ever met," she finishes. Pats your cheek, "click the button next time. Save us both the heart attack."
"Noted," you assured.
As she's prepping to leave for her rounds, you open your mouth, once, twice, before clearing it. "Is it possible, someone could help me out--the water..."
"Of course," the nurse says, quickly. "Don't worry, I understand. I'll get everything set for you."
As she walks away, you breathing out your appreciation, you take a long inhale, swallowing down the heaviness in your chest.
part 3 OUT NOW!!
Tag List:
@m3ntally-unstable @dreamsarenicer @ttsbaby01 @theweirdgeninistuff @shelbycillian @azxulaa @kthehoeforfictionalmen @amusling @v1x3n @nobodycanknoww @thesinsoflust @asexualbuthorny @poisonedsultana @blackhawkfanatic @character---obsessed @yunggoblin @teenagellamaangel @hanniebanggi @nym-phos @gastonlover9000 @lyssa-211 @doodle-cat16 @haven-1307 @kneelforloki @delphiakira @just-going-through-the-motions
#simon riley angst x reader#simon riley angst#simon ghost x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#ghost x reader#ghost angst#cod angst#cod x reader#call of duty#call of duty x reader#tw torture
6K notes
·
View notes
Text
Dad of Ireland’s first New Year’s Day baby thanks hospital staff for ‘acting fast’ after tot’s heart rate dropped | 8U375T9 | 2024-01-05 08:08:02 | January 05, 2024 at 09:08AM
Dad of Ireland’s first New Year’s Day baby thanks hospital staff for ‘acting fast’ after tot’s heart rate dropped | 8U375T9 | 2024-01-05 08:08:02 Read More … Check full articles at Source: ALPHA MAG
View On WordPress
#Dad of Ireland’s first New Year’s Day baby thanks hospital staff for ‘acting fast’ after tot’s heart rate dropped | 8U375T9 | 2024-01-05 08:#Politics#ShowBiz#Sport#Tech#UK#US#World
0 notes