#first time drawing miku somehow??

[nenekonemo]

i really like miku’s NT design :3

[heyimkana]

24 Hours with You (Satoru Ver.) - Ep. 2

Series Masterlist Chapter Summary: The second episode of a mini-series where you’ll live through the hours you spend together with your husband, Gojo Satoru. Pairings: Gojo Satoru x Female Reader Genre: Domestic AU, Fluff, Romance, Humor Word Count: 9K Warnings: no plot, just a compilation of fluffy scenes that you share with your whipped, super annoying husband, Satoru. there's a bit of a smutty scene but it's not explicitly written.

Episode 2: Daylight

07.04 AM

The morning sunray seeps through your windows, kissing your skin with familiar warmth. The red roses Satoru bought you yesterday greet you with their sweet scent as they sit prettily in a glass vase that glimmers like crystal underneath the light. You take a quick scan around, expecting the worst but surprisingly, besides the bedroom, your place is still recognizable despite the drunk antics that you and your husband did last night after finishing a whole bottle of wine to yourselves. 

Your work doesn’t start until nine, and although usually, you would leave at 8.15 to avoid the risk of turning up late, after noticing what day it is, you reckon that traffic won’t be so bad. Plus, your home is only around ten minutes away from your office anyway. It’s the main reason why Satoru insisted on buying this condominium in the first place—to give you more time to yourself (and for him to cuddle with you on the sofa because you always look so snuggly in the morning). Maybe you can take it easy today. Brushing your teeth and changing your nightgown into an oversized hoodie (Satoru’s) and a pair of comfy sweatpants, you get yourself to work.

Among the clutters on the floor are your cocktail dress and Satoru’s expensive suit and tie, scattered all over the carpet, giving you a quick flashback of what happened after you arrived home from the fancy restaurant he took you last night. The exchange of heavy, scorching kisses in the elevator… Your spine pressed flat against the wall with his head between your thighs the second the front door was shut close… A bottle of red wine tasted directly from each other’s tongue… And…

You glance down at your hands, feeling heat flaring in your cheeks as your eyes land on the thin, but quite noticeable, purple bruises that circle your wrists like dark bracelets.

Last night was… wild. 

“God, we’re not young anymore,” you mumble to yourself, shamefaced, as you head toward the kitchen. There are empty plates and half-filled glasses left abandoned on the aisle, and a pizza box that you ordered at two in the morning for an emergency snack (Satoru always gets hungry after sex), but it will only take you a few minutes to clean everything up, so everything’s fine.

Today’s start isn’t so bad.

The condo that you and Satoru bought together felt too spacious and grand at first. The neat white walls somehow screamed lonely, desperate for human touch. But after living here for three years, three whole years of a happy marriage with occasional fights that never lasted a night, it felt truly like home—the kind that you’ve never had the joy to experience before. 

Silly Polaroid photos of the two of you are plastered all over the fridge. A collection of your favorite novels sits on the bookcase among healthy pileas that tumble elegantly over the shelves. Satoru’s favorite Hatsune Miku figures are there too, despite your constant begging to just throw them away, but that’s marriage, isn’t it? You just have to compromise on every single thing. Even when the color of Hatsune’s stupid hair—why does it have to be turquoise of all shades?—ruins your aesthetic.

A huge, beautiful mural showcasing the map of the world can be found painted on one side of the wall. In some countries, there are words written by colorful markers, telling a story of the memorable journeys you’ve had together. Satoru’s messy handwriting used to be there but you scrapped them all because drawing a bunch of arrows pointing at different cities and writing down the words “We did it here” or “We also did it here” and “We toooootally did it here” with wink faces on the sidedon’t exactly seem appropriate, especially since Megumi’s son often comes by to visit his favorite uncle. (The word ‘favorite’ here is self-proclaimed. Megumi never said that. His son also never said that. Satoru is just delusional.) 

You catch a whiff of your husband’s perfume, still somewhat lingering close, a sweet reminder of your chaotic days in high school and the moment your romance bloomed during your college days. Oh, also, coffee. You’re gonna need a lot of that if you want to get through all of your work meetings today. The smell of freshly brewed coffee is one of your favorite scents in the world and you smile to yourself as you pour it into your mug. 

“Someone looks happy,” Satoru sniffles as he places his chin on your shoulder, long arms winding themselves around the dip of your waist. And cuddly, he adds in his head. Though he always finds himself swooning seeing you in your cocktail dress or work attire, he adores this look the most. Messy bun, bare face with acne patches on your chin and nose, his hoodie covering your body to the middle of your thighs. You're precious.

He won’t say this to you though, not today.

“Someone sounds a bit grumpy.” You tilt your head just enough to peck him on the cheek. “Took you long enough to finish.”

“Well, it would’ve only taken me ten minutes if somebody was kind enough to lend me a hand.”

“What, your two hands aren’t enough?”

“They don’t feel as good as yours.” He’s pouting. Even if you can’t see it, you can tell he is. “I didn’t finish, by the way. Thank you for asking.”

A chuckle escapes you. “Honey, you finished, like, four times last night.”

“You’re missing the point,” he sighs. “I don’t think I’ve told you this but…” He turns your body around, making you face him with your cup between your hands and your back leaning against the kitchen counter. He’s still in his boxer shorts, you notice, but he’s made the effort of throwing on a green pastel shirt, hanging loose on his body and unbuttoned to his chest. Satoru rests his palms on the surface, trapping you between his arms. “I think I’m getting so dependent on you now that I can’t even cum on my own.” 

“You can’t do anything without me these days, actually,” you comment, running your mouth without realizing that he’s desperate for your sympathy. He gives you a look, staring flatly at you. “And I can’t do anything without you, my love,” you add with a smile, tapping his cheek. “There. Happy now?”

“Wouldn’t kill you to say it once in a while,” he answers, and you roll your eyes. “I’m just saying, I used to do it so easily, you know? I didn’t even need to look at actual porn to jerk off. I was so in control of my body. Just had to picture you naked on your knees with my di—”

“Careful.”

He cuts himself short. “—and I’d be done in, like, two minutes.”

“I see. And here I thought today was going to be boring,” you reply, sarcasm running thick in each word.

“But these days…” His eyes droop. “It hasn’t been that easy. Sometimes I couldn’t even, umm… get it hard,” he admits, blushing. It’s a bit of a confession that he’s been trying to keep to himself for a while.

“What, really? Like, at all?” 

He sheepishly nods. “There’s this one time when you were away on a business trip and it had been so long since we had sex so I wanna… You know…”

“Play with your carrot?” You suggest, taking a sip of your coffee. “Rub the eggplant? Stroke the banana?”

There’s a momentary silence where he just looks at you, unamused. 

You, also, stay hushed. 

Then, “Caress the fresh zucchini—”

“I think that’s enough, babe.”

“Oh, so when I say it, you don’t like it. But when you say it—”

“You’re not saying it at the right time—You know what? Forget it.” Satoru pushes himself away from the counter, fuming and you laugh. 

Catching him by the wrist, you whirl him back to you. “I’m sorry. You’re just so cute. I think this is the first time I’ve seen you act like this.”

“Can you be serious, please? This is actually very important to me.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” You stand on your toes, kissing his pout away. “I’ll pay attention, I promise. Tell me what’s on your mind.”

“I’m a bit scared,” he says, his shoulders sagging. He looks like a sad puppy. A giant, 193cm tall sad puppy. Even your puppy didn’t look as depressed as him now when she was on the verge of death. “What am I going to do when you’re away for two weeks and I can’t even jerk off once?”

You know you don’t have to jerk off, right? Your mouth is itching to say the words. “Two weeks aren’t even that long.”

“Of course, they are!”

“Okay, so you can’t jerk off for two weeks. What is the big deal—”

“What’s the big deal?!” He gasps, as dramatically as ever, one hand slapped against his chest. “You’re asking me what’s the big deal?! What if this is a sign of early erectile dysfunction?!”

Hereeee we go. “From someone who came four times last night, what are you saying?!”

“Excuse me, are you a doctor?” His voice drops, his face solemn. “Are you an urologist?”

You sigh. “No.”

“Do you have a penis?”

“Satoru—”

“Do you?”

You’re rubbing your head, headaches incoming. “You wouldn’t have married me if I had one now, would you?”

“Not true but okay. Anyway—”

“Wait, hold up, what does that mean—”

“The point is,” he puts pressure on his words, pinching your nose so you’ll stop talking. “No penis, no opinion. Also, multiple studies by Chinese researchers have shown that in order to avoid getting prostate cancer, men should release their sperm around two to four times a week. And—” He holds up a finger in the air, shutting you down before you even begin to open your mouth. “When you orgasm, your brain releases a surge of dopamine, right? I need that, especially when you’re not around to help me manage my stress.”

You press your lips together, as tightly as you can, afraid that you’ll break into another bout of laughter if you don’t. “I see.” It’s so hard to keep your voice away from shaking. He’s so serious, it’s almost out of character for him to be this serious. “So you’re, uhh… You’re stressed, huh?”

“Oh, I am, baby. I’m so stressed out.” He swats his bangs out of his eyes, pushing back his hair. “Look at me. I just woke up and I look like this. You think it’s not stressful to look this handsome every day? I have to work twice as hard as anyone else in my building just to be taken seriously. Especially by the CEO.”

“You mean your daddy.”

“My CEO.”

“Who’s your daddy.” Right after you hear yourself saying the line, you snort, failing to contain your laughter. “I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you. I just had a flashback of the time when you said those words to me in bed and—” You wipe a tear away, your body shaking from your titters. “God, that was cringe.”

Satoru narrows his eyes. “So you are laughing at me.”

“Yeah, but not because of the things you’re saying right now.” The more you try to explain, the more he seems insulted. “Sorry. Continue.”

His nose flares. He would’ve been vexed if you didn’t look so adorable holding back your giggles. “All the other workers think I’m not fit to be next in line—to lead the company. They think I get everything I want just because I have a pretty face and I’m his only son.”

Well, I mean, they’re not wrong, you ponder to yourself, though you know if you mention it out loud, he’s going to cry. “They’re jealous of you.”

“And then of course there’s that guy, Kenjaku, who clearly wants to take my place so he’s been trying to get close to my dad,” Satoru clicks his tongue in annoyance. “Can you believe they went golfing together? Gol. Fing. My dad never even let me touch his golf club!”

Oh, he’s ranting. He’s so upset, he’s ranting like a tired housewife and it’s hilarious. “I’m sorry, sweetie.” You spread your arms, offering him a smile. “Do you want a hug?”

“Okay,” he mumbles cutely, moving toward your embrace with his lower lip jutted out. He goes down to his knees, tangles his arms around your waist, and nuzzles his face against your belly. 

“I think they just feel intimidated by you.” You land a hand on his head. For some reason, his hair is always extra fluffy in the morning. “Smart, charismatic, and sexy? They don’t stand a chance against my husband.”

Usually, you would have him go back to his feet (figuratively and literally) right away after hearing such words, but Satoru only lets out a small hum—responding but not quite agreeing—as he buries his nose deeper in your fabric. Seems like this one is serious. “Toru, you’ll be okay.”

“I can’t do it without you, babe,” he says, his voice muffled by your hoodie.

“What, getting that promotion without people judging?”

“No. Cumming.”

“Oh, we’re going back to that.” You chortle lightly, stroking his strands. “Okay, listen.” Cupping his cheek, you lift his face to meet your gaze. “You don’t have erectile dysfunction.” You return the small space between you, your lips curving up beautifully as you bend down and give him a light kiss on his forehead. “And next time, I’ll take care of your needs. Promise.” Noticing how his eyes take a quick look at the kitchen counter, you add, “Not right now, Satoru.” 

“Meanie.” Your husband groans, playfully biting your hand. “And how are you planning to take care of me the next time we’re separated from each other?”

“I’ll do something to help you, uhh… do whatever it is you need to do.”

His eyes light up. “Will you FaceTime me and give me a strip dance with Closer by Nine Inch Nails playing in the background?”

That’s… oddly specific… “And why does it have to be that song, if I may ask?”

“No reason, really…” He averts his gaze. “Just… You know, it makes me think about you…” He seems a bit shy.

Wait. Shy? Satoru is?

How does the song go again?

You tear down my reason  It's your sex I can smell  You make me perfect  Become somebody else  I wanna fuck you like an animal

You send your husband a blank stare. Look at him. This pervert is asking you this while acting like an embarrassed schoolgirl standing in front of her crush. “If it’s not too much to ask,” he says, so cutely as if he was asking you to make him his favorite dish for dinner.

Of course, it’s too much to ask, are you insane? “Or,” you suggest calmly with a forced smile. “We can do slightly more romantic stuff like calling each other on the phone and—”

“DO PHONE SEX?” Stars in his eyes. There are stars in his eyes.

“Uhh…”

“Please say yes, please say yes!”

That isn’t exactly what you have in mind, but can you even decline when he’s like this? Telling him no right now would feel just as awful as when you (because of Satoru, of course) accidentally revealed the truth about Santa to your nephew, giving Megumi a hard time feeding his son who started a hunger strike as he went into depression mode for three days. (This is a horrible comparison, by the way. One child was asking about Santa while this one is asking for the opportunity to whisper “I wanna fuck you like an animal” in your ear when you’re a hundred miles away from home. Two totally different cases, but you know Satoru will behave the same way as your nephew if you reject his wish. Probably even worse.)

With your head throbbing, you murmur, “Maybe just a little…”

“Promise?” He holds up his pinky, grinning from ear to ear.

All that positive energy you had this morning? Drained. “Promise…”

“Yaay~” 

As you break into a cold sweat thinking about the unfortunate event that will soon befall you (aka the phone sex), Satoru, is already back to his giddy and frisky self. Well, as long as he’s happy, I guess. 

“What are you having?” He asks, jumping back to his feet. “Coffee?”

“Mm. You want some?”

“Nah. I’m craving hot chocolate.” He reaches a hand toward the high drawer to get hold of his favorite mug, looming above you and intentionally knocking his chest against your face as he traps you in between. He giggles when you glare. He’s childish that way.

“How very girly of you.”

“It’s to relieve my stress.” He pokes you in the stomach. “Also, liking hot chocolate doesn’t make me look girly.”

“Sure, but trying on my skirt does.”

“Babe, come on,” Satoru whines, his earlobes turning scarlet. “How many times are you going to hold me on this? I was just messing around!”

“Honey, you were alone in our bedroom, wearing my maxi skirt and checking yourself in the mirror.”

“It was a dare from Suguru.”

“And taking selfies.”

“So I can send some proof to Suguru.”

“Not the point, Satoru.”

“That is the point! Babe, can’t you see? Saying no to the stupid dare would’ve made me seem less manly than he is.” 

“So you’d rather put yourself in a skirt?”

“Well, duh!”

You can’t find the logic in his excuse, you really can’t. “In my defense, though,” he adds. “I thought you were gonna be out for a little longer.” 

“What would’ve happened if I were? Gonna put on my thong next?”

“No,” he scoffs, trying to regain whatever amount of dignity he has left. “Also, it’s not like you’ve never done something embarrassing before. Remember that time when we went to Megumi’s birthday dinner and you ended up telling his nana a dick joke?”

“That was also you.” 

“No, no. I meant, that one with the salaryman meeting a guy in a horse costume—” His realization falls upon him. “Oh my God, it was me.”

You shake your head, amused. “It’s okay.” You turn to face the counter once again, placing your mug on the surface before you reach forward to grab a bit more cream.   “After being married to you for three years, the only thing that will surprise me is if you grow another head. Anything else, I can manage.”

“Why does this sound comforting and insulting at the same time?”

“Because it’s both.”

With his lower lip protruding, Satoru hugs you again from behind, his chin settled on the top of your head this time. This is why he claims to be all stressed out whenever you’re away. He’s so keen on physical touch that he can’t bear even a few inches of distance between you when you’re around. He reaches up to open the counter, grabbing a jar filled with cocoa powder. His chest is pressing against your spine, his other arm never leaving your waist. “I think we run out of sugar,” he says. “Wanna drop by the mart after work? I’m gonna have meetings all day today, but I can ditch the dinner party.”

“You’re not coming?”

“Hell no. Suguru’s hosting. He makes the worst parties.”

“Isn’t he the guy who’s rumored to be in love with you? I heard about it from Shoko.”

“Yeah,” Satoru snickers, very childishly. “I was the one who started the rumor by putting a note on his desk that said ‘I wish one day you’ll look at me the way you look at your wife. Your silver hair and pretty blue eyes have captivated me from the moment I laid my eyes on you. I dream of tasting your soft lips every night.’ It was so easy to copy his handwriting, I just couldn’t help it. Yuki found out about it and she started gossiping and by the end of the day, everyone knew. I took the note away before he noticed. Suguru never found out I did that, didn’t even know what was going on. He was so confused when people tried to cheer him up. I saw Choso giving him a pat on his shoulder, saying ‘We all love you for who you are, never change.’ And Suguru was like, ‘Uuuh, thanks, but I don’t want to be a salesman forever.’ And so both of them were confused.”

Your mouth twists into a grimace. “You are evil.”

“I prefer the term genius,” he corrects you, seemingly proud of his deed. 

“Also, soft lips?”

“Aren’t they?” He seductively raises an eyebrow. To be fair, yes, they are. Even on the coldest night, they’re still as soft as a butterfly’s wing. He has claimed many times that he only used a lip balm if necessary but you don’t buy it. There must be witchcraft involved. He puckers his lips, ready to kiss you and make you experience the thick jealousy you have of his pretty mouth—because, really, all these lip balms you have and your lips are still chapped during winter. You dodge, pushing your palm against his face instead. The big puppy that he is, he licks it.

“I think I’ll be out of the office around seven today,” he informs as you scrunch up your nose in disgust, wiping his saliva away.

“Okay. Pick me up first?”

“Like you need to ask,” Satoru smiles, granting a cute kiss on your forehead. He dabs his thumb on the corner of your lips, rubbing off a little bit of sugar from the leftover doughnut that you enjoyed with your coffee. He cleans it off his digit with his tongue, randomly ruffling your hair as he makes his way to the living room. 

“Oh, wait, almost forgot,” he says, retracing his steps.

“Hmm?”

Satoru snatches a jar from the counter—the one that you just used, filled with cream—and puts it in the highest drawer, the closest one to the ceiling. “Just a little payback,” he sniggers. “For giving me blue balls this morning.”

With him being 193 cm tall, he simply needs to stand on his toes for a little bit to reach it, but you? “I think you’re gonna need a ladder.” His teeth flash in an irritating grin. “Enjoy your creamless coffee for the next few weeks, Sweetcheeks—OUCH—BABY, THAT’S MY KNEE!”

“Grab the jar.”

“Fine.” He retrieves it with a grumble, handing it back to you. “But I’m reporting you for domestic abuse.”

You raise your wrist, showing the actual bruises he left on your skin. “I’ll see you at court then.”

“Babeeeeeee~”

***

07.21 AM

“Satoru.”

Your dear husband has been lying down on the couch for the past ten minutes, a head of velvety hair—which somehow still smells pleasantly like your favorite shampoo—resting on your lap. With a pair of round glasses perched on his nose, he turns deaf ears to everything that’s going on, focusing on nothing but moving his thumbs to win the next round of Momotetsu. As his eyebrows wrinkle in deep concentration, Satoru punches the buttons on his Nintendo Switch, glaring at the screen and swearing under his breath.

“Satoru.”

“Wait, babe, I just need to choose this card and—NOOOOOOOO!” He launches himself forward, sitting up with his mouth gaping, his eyes shaking in horror. “Did I just—yep, lost a million yen. Fuck this game. A Martha card?! A fucking Martha card?! Oh, I’m gonna—” He slams his console against the cushion. Repeatedly. He’s 29, and he throws a bigger tantrum than Megumi’s three-year-old son. 

“Watch your blood pressure, Honey.”

“Who even invented this game?! Stupid as shit. Babe, do me a favor and don’t ever let me play—” His phone rings before he can finish. Throwing one glance at his screen, Satoru mutters, “Oh, great. Here we go.”

The name Dumbass Monk is written on his phone. You wonder who it is.

Satoru answers through gritted teeth. “Fuck you, Suguru.”

Ah, yes, of course.

“No, how the fuck should I know that the card was gonna choose me?!” he barks, his voice bouncing off the walls. “I wanted it to choose you—oh fuck off, asshole, you’re broke as hell, you smell like wet socks, and your wife hates you. Wait, what was that?” He suddenly switches his voice, doing his best impersonation of a nosy old lady talking about the latest gossip. “You don’t have a wife? Not even a girlfriend?” He maniacally cackles. “I don’t know, man, I don’t think I’m the loser here. Unlike you, I’ve got a super hot wife who loves me unconditionally.” 

You flip a page of the book you have sitting on your lap. “Only ‘cause you’re rich.”

“And—” Satoru continues yapping on his phone but he makes sure to poke you on your side for your unnecessary comment. “She’s not just hot. She’s a complete package. She smells like daffodils, she makes me breakfast every morning and she looks so fucking gorgeous when she fucks—”

You slap a pillow against his head.

“—feeds me cookies,” Satoru finishes lamely, wincing, one hand raised in the air as a form of surrender before he takes another hit. “No, I’m not gonna pay you, idiot, you won purely by luck!” He then gasps, his jaw dropping low. “Did you just call me a monkey? Oh, that’s it—” 

Satoru is on his feet, shouting, growling, fingers jabbing and clenching as his mouth runs wild. You can somewhat hear the other man’s voice, giving you enough idea of what they’re arguing about although you can’t make out every word. Suguru’s tone is always soft and melodious when he speaks, but his insults are truly on another level. Chuckling to yourself at the strings of expletives that tumble out of their mouths, you watch your husband yell until blood pools on his face, “Fine! Don’t come crying to me when you have erectile dysfunction, which, based on all the non-existent sex you’ve been having, I know you will! Good day!” Suguru is still calling him names when Satoru ends the call with, “I SAID GOOD DAY!”  

You flip another page of the novel you've been trying—and failing due to someone’s endless shouting—to immerse yourself in. “Seems like you two are close.”

“Oh, he can die, I don’t care.” Angrily, he tosses his device away, landing his head back on your lap with the loudest groan he can muster. “Whatever. I’m still a better player than he is.”

“Of course, you are, honey,” you respond, your hand naturally falls back to his hair, caressing it like you’re stroking a cat’s fur. 

It only takes a few seconds before your husband stops shaking in vexation, even looking a bit sleepy from your comforting touches. “Were you talking to me before?”

“Mm. There’s something I wanted to ask you.” Placing a bookmark in between the pages, you close your book and set it down on the coffee table next to you. “About before, when you told me about your co-workers. How did you know that they’ve been thinking about you that way?”

He blinks, not expecting you to return to your previous conversation. “Aaaw, honey, are you worried about me?” From wishing someone to suffer crucially from impotence to wiggling in joy like a thirteen-year-old girl at the slightest sign of affection, your husband really does have an emotional range of a teaspoon.

“Of course, I do. You’re my husband.”

His mouth curves upside-down, his eyes glimmering, “Babeee, that’s so sweeeet.”

Though you're not so sure why he’s so happy when you just stated a fact, you let him be. “So what happened?”

“I heard them chatting when I passed by the smoking room one afternoon. I don’t smoke—you know I quit a long time ago—so I didn’t know they were ganging up on me and talking shit about me behind my back. Isn’t it gross for a bunch of thirty-year-old men to gossip?” His face scrunches up in disgust. He, the same man who spent two hours on the phone talking to the Dumbass Monk about the recently hired secretary, Maki Zenin (who’s apparently so strict and vicious that, in Satoru’s words, “Almost made me cry in fear when I arrived late at my lunch meeting last week.”), actually had the audacity to ask that question.

"What did they say?” You ask him.

“They said if it wasn’t because of my family name, I would’ve never gotten promoted to C-level.”

“But that’s not true!”You catch him off guard with your sudden fervor after spending the last conversation acting so dull. “I’ve seen how much you worked for this! Satoru, you earned that position fair and square!” Your husband might act frivolous almost every hour of the day, but there were times that he missed his sleep trying to come up with a new marketing strategy to promote their upcoming products. There were hours spent with him taking one conference call after another with his clients, even at two in the morning from the comfort of your living room due to the difference in their time zones. He’s the CEO’s son, true, but he worked just as hard, if not more, as everyone else in the company.

The more it sinks into your brain, the more irked you become. “Who said this?” You snap. “Huh? Who talked shit about you behind your back? I want names.”

Satoru lets out a chuckle, his eyes thinning into a line. It’s been a while since he last saw you being this protective of him. It reminds him of the old days in high school when you, despite acknowledging yourself as being his archenemy, were always quick to defend him when someone threw shade at him. “Honey, relax—”

“Was it Naoya? Or was it Toji? It was Toji, wasn’t it? Oh, that bitch—”

“It wasn’t Toji,” Satoru says, holding you by the hand in a futile attempt to calm you down. “Though you could still punch him if you want.”

“Why, did he do something to you?”

“I just hate his face.”

That’s very Satoru behavior of him that you don’t even bother to comment. “Nobody talks shit about my husband. If they think you get things done easy for you, it’s because you’re so smart, you make things look easy.”

He sits up, turning around to face you with warm, round eyes. “You think I’m smart?”

“Are you kidding me? You’re the smartest man I know.” You give him a light punch on his chest. “If I were your dad, I would’ve still given you that promotion, regardless of our relationship. You’re just that good at your job.”

“That’s…” He swallows. “This is the first time you’ve complimented me like this.” It’s a surprise to him, a very pleasant one, causing contentment to fill his heart.

You feel awful once you notice that even though you constantly thought of him this way, you never spoke your appreciation out loud. “Satoru, I’ve always admired you.” You rest your fingers on his knuckles, apologizing. “I know you complain about having to wake up early to go to work every morning, but despite your flippant attitude, you bear a deep sense of responsibility. You always manage to surpass people’s expectations—surpass mine and I already thought highly of you.” You give him a squeeze, smiling more with your eyes than your lips. “You make me proud. Every day you make me proud.” 

Satoru mirrors your expression, a soft blush painting his cheeks as his joy engulfs him whole. He wraps his arms around you, sinking his nose in your hair as he pulls you close. “You’re not throwing compliments at me just to cheer me up, are you?” He whispers and it’s only during times like this that he lets his vulnerability show. Satoru always shines like the brightest star, his eyes brimming with confidence, but there’s still a part of him—part that he conceals from everyone else except you—that needs to be consoled. He’s still a little boy who wishes for a gentle pat on the head and you always give the warmest one.

“I’m not complimenting you, I’m telling the truth. But yes, I am trying to cheer you up.” You return his embrace, your hand sliding up and down his back. “I wouldn’t have said this if you were okay ‘cause I know it’s gonna boost up your ego even more. You’re already annoying the way you are, so…”

He titters. “Can we stick to you being nice to me?”

You echo the noises he made, returning the space between you just wide enough to kiss his cheek. You cup his face with your fingers, your thumb caressing his cheekbone. “I’m sorry people said mean stuff about you… Are you okay?”

“I am now.” His smile is softer than the clouds. He leans close, cutely nuzzles the tip of his nose against yours. “This is why I need you in my life. You act aloof around me but you always think about me more than you think about yourself. You pretend to be ignorant, but you never fail to notice all these efforts I made. You care about me more than anyone else.”

Watching him put your feelings into words makes you feel flustered but you don't deny it. Not when he speaks only the truth. “I can also kick everyone’s butt for you.”

“As someone who has witnessed your heroic tales in high school, yes, you can, one hundred percent.” You feel his smile forming on your skin as he kisses your temple. “But just having you around me right now is enough. And it’s fine. I don’t care what anyone else thinks about me, at least not anymore. As long as you’re proud of me.”

“I am,” you say without missing a beat. “I’m proud of you, Toru.”

He takes away your hand that’s been warming his face, kissing your wrist while he maintains eye contact with you. “That’s all that matters to me.”

Your stomach swirls at the intensity of his gaze, his voice—just above a whisper—bears the same kind of tenderness and affection he portrayed on the day he asked you to marry him. His lips rub against your veins, the softest kiss against the softest skin. Your hand seems tiny in his grip but it’s a perfect fit. Every part of you is when it comes to him. 

“So, uhh…” You clear your throat. “What are you going to do now?”

“I guess I’ll just have to keep doing my best so I can prove them wrong.” His grin returns. “I’ll make my wife feel even prouder of me.”

He replies to your little chuckles with a kiss, light but sweet. Despite your heart wanting more of his touch, of the heat of his lips against your own, you focus on the matter. “Why have you never told me about this before?”

“Because I never cared about it too much,” he replies with a shrug. “Work only feels overwhelming when you’re not around. When you’re with me, no matter how stressful my workplace is, I’ll feel at ease instantly.” He lays his forehead on your shoulder, rubbing his face against the fabric. “So, don’t leave me, okay? If I have to go out of town, I’ll have you hide inside my suitcase so I can carry you around.”

You chortle lightly. “And if I have to go?”

“Well…” He pulls away, his eyes fixated on the shape of your lips as he caresses them with his thumb. He looks back at you, his fingertips resting on your nape, holding you still. You find your breathing stalled as his own fanned your lips. “I guess I’ll just have to convince you to stay.”

And when he kisses you again, you know that he doesn’t mean with his words.

***

07.34 AM

“Bunny!” Satoru calls from the bathroom, his voice reverberating loudly through the hall. “Baby, come over here!”

Standing in your apron with your hands moving to fetch your chopped onions from your kitchen aisle, you try your best to focus on your cooking while answering him at the same time. “For the last time, Satoru, I’m not interested in taking a shower together with you!” You sprinkle some pepper into the dish, wiping your sweat away from your temple with the back of your hand. You take a glance at the digital clock nearby. “Not when we have to leave in an hour!”

“But I’ll let you shape my hair!”

“Not interested!”

“I’ll even let you give me a mohawk!”

“Not intere—oh shit—” It’s a given, really, that you’d accidentally pour too much salt into your cream soup from all this diversion. Taking a deep breath, you start to glare at your ceiling as you chant don’t get angry, don’t get angry inside your head. This is the reason why you try to keep him off the kitchen floor as far away as possible whenever you’re making food but even when he’s meters away from you, he still manages to annoy you somehow. 

“Babe, I couldn’t hear you. Was that a yes?”

“NO!”

***

07.41 AM

“Oooh~ Something smells good~” Satoru chirps, popping back into the living room with a toothy grin and a white towel wrapped around his hips. It’s hanging low on his body, showcasing very distracting V-lines that you (secretly) adore. You look away. No good can come from staring at your husband’s lean, perfectly shaped stomach at this time of the day. 

But then you catch a glimpse of the scratch marks you left on his back from last night, your face aflame since you can barely remember how hard you dug your nails into his skin. Satoru always likes it when you’re not careful with him—just like how you love it when he’s rough with you—but were you really that… desperate to keep him close, clutching onto him like that?

You shake your thoughts away. “Dry your hair properly,” you mutter, keeping your eyes on the plates you’re currently setting on the dining table. “I just mopped the floor.”

“Okay, Mom.” Dabbing a smaller towel against his hair, Satoru walks closer to your spot and pulls back a chair.

You eye him cautiously. “What are you doing?”

“Taking a seat, what do you think I’m doing?”

“You’re not gonna wear your clothes first?”

“Do I have to?” He takes a sip of your half-finished coffee, smacking his lips before he throws a naughty grin. “I mean, I fucked you right here last night. Surely you won’t mind eating breakfast with me only in my towel?” Before you can say a word—and you have lots to say—Satoru adds, “I’m just giving you a chance to ogle at my body as much as you want as you enjoy your food. I know you’re too embarrassed to ask, so you’re welcome. And if you’re willing to take a day off, I can be your dessert too.” 

You make a face. “Gross.” 

“And yet, you don’t deny the fact that you’re planning to stare.” Peering into your eyes, he places his chin on his hand, resting his elbow on the table. The haughty look he displays on his face is supposed to irritate you, but what it does is make your heart pound harder. “You’ve seen and touched these babies for years, and you still can’t get enough? Babe, come on.”

“You seriously calling your abs your babies?”

“Yep.” He wiggles his eyebrows. “But if you play nice, I’ll let you call them—”

“Just eat your breakfast.”

***

07.46 AM

“Babe?”

“What?”

“I have something to say but promise me you won’t kill me after I said it.”

“Okay…” You look up from your plate, feeling a bit concerned. “What is it?”

Satoru has never looked this serious in his entire life (because face it, Satoru and the word serious don’t really belong together now, do they?). 

Taking hold of your hand, he gently squeezes it, providing the comfort that you might need.

“This soup is salty as hell.”

***

07.58 AM

With the taste of salt still lingering thickly on his tongue (and a bump on his head, a masterpiece done by your fist), Satoru steps inside the bedroom with a yawn, his fingers scratching his undercut. He unwraps the towel from his waist, tossing it onto the sheets without care.

Your husband smiles the second he notices the way you’ve prepared his clothes so neatly on the desk, all the way from his tie, his belt even down to his socks. His dress pants are ironed to a crisp seam, and his phone is fully charged (after being married to him for three years, you’ve learned all of his little habits). You’ve selected a matching dark tie to go with his suit, one that he recalled was given to him as a gift during last year’s anniversary. He loves it. He loves how you always buy the things he needs instead of what he wants, even when he, himself, didn’t realize how essential they were. But what makes him the happiest is when he sees the way it makes you smile so warmly every time he wears it, like a painter landing a final stroke on her masterpiece. For someone who doesn’t speak romantic words so often, your little gesture never fails to portray what’s on your mind. You love him and it shows. 

“I’m being spoiled, huh?” Satoru mumbles to himself, nothing but elation in his chest. He spots the little notes you left him on the same table, your handwriting scribbled on a piece of paper. “Ooooh~ A love note?”

Dear husband, If you leave your wet towel on the bed again  I’ll kill you.

“Not a love note.” Wincing, he immediately retrieves the towel from the bed, his mind playing a traumatic flashback of you scolding him about it for two hours straight (because suddenly it wasn’t just about the wet towel, was it? The forgotten toilet seat. The countless jackets hanging on the coat rack because he kept grabbing a new one. The pile of hentai doujinshi piling up on the coffee table. All of them.)

With the thought of skipping today’s work lingering in his head, Satoru forces himself to dress. As he turns around to face the mirror, he captures a brief look at the kiss marks blooming on his neck, ones that you painted on him last night. They’re faint because, unlike someone in this condo, you make sure to always be considerate of his appearance (though Satoru wishes you weren’t), but even the lightest shade of red seems vibrant on his fair skin. 

Although he acts nonchalant most of the time, your husband is quite the possessive type, so it’s a given that he likes the idea of having his marks on you. He gets a kick out of watching you struggle to hide the love bites he left on your neck, even more so when someone notices it. But, of course, nothing beats the feeling of having your marks on him. If you allowed him to, he would’ve worn every bite and bruise like a medal. Proudly. Contentedly. The same way he exhibited every present you’ve given him. Satoru just loves the idea of having a wife—of having you as his wife—and he would showcase that to the world in every second of his life if he could. 

He traces the bruises with his fingertips, drowning himself in the thoughts of you gasping against his ear, your teeth grinding against his neck as he pushed your knees further against your stomach with every thrust of his hips. He wasn’t lying when he said you looked absolutely gorgeous during sex. The way you parted your lips. The way your eyebrows stitched together in pleasure. The little noises you made when you breathed out his name as you bounced on his lap—

Satoru looks down. There it is again, the ache between his legs. Funny how you’re already so distracting even without doing anything—or being in the same room for that matter. Sighing, he grouses, “Guess she’s right. No signs of erectile dysfunction.” Willing his indecent thoughts to go away, he tucks his hands into the sleeves, buttoning up his shirt before he circles his tie around his neck.

“Satoru!” He hears your voice resonating from the bathroom. “Toru, can you come here for a sec? I need your help!”

“Oh, now she’s calling me to have sex with her.” He rolls his eyes. “After I finish taking a shower. So much for playing hard to get,” he scoffs. It’s ironic that he says this because right now he’s the one who’sacting that way. With giddy hands, he unfastens his tie, rushing to take off his pants again and almost tripping on his way out. He dashes toward the bathroom, opening the door while he strives to keep his excitement in check.

“WHOA!” You yelp in surprise, your body nude and drenched, hiding behind the door with only your head peeking out. “Why are you naked?!”

He frowns, confused. “Cause we’re about to have sex?”

Now you’re confused. “Uhh, no?”

“Why did you call me then?”

“I forgot my towel.”

“You’re asking me to get you your towel?” He sounds so appalled as if that thought never occurred to him when it’s supposed to be the first thing that should pop out in his head. Before you can respond, however, his mind, delusional as always, answers the question for him. “Oh, I see,” he smirks. “You’re using codes.”

“What?”

“‘I forgot my towel’—isn’t that, like, our code for ‘let’s have sex in the shower?’”

“Satoru.” You hold yourself back from ripping the silver strands out of his head. He’s testing your patience. Again. “We don't have any secret code.”

“We don’t?”

“Nope.”

“Oh…” It almost feels a bit cartoonish the way his shoulders sag upon hearing your words. There he is, a 29-year-old male standing in front of you in all his naked glory, saddened to his core over the fact of not having a cipher for sex. Well, for three seconds anyway. “So… You wanna make this our secret code, effective immediately, or—”

“Get the damn towel.”

With a stomp, Satoru leaves the bathroom only to return with your towel in one hand and his eyes squinting in a glare. Being the brat that he is, instead of handing it directly to you, he lets the thick cloth fall to the floor just a few inches away from where you’re standing. 

“Oh, you’re so annoying.”

“Isn’t that your secret code for saying you love me?”

You throw a jab to his stomach.

***

08.24 AM

Pushing your hair out of your coat, you call out your husband’s name. You examine your appearance one more time in the mirror, tidying your strands until they frame your face perfectly. The condo is fairly clean. Your stomach is full though you can’t seem to wash away the saltiness of your soup just yet. You’re only seven minutes late from your original plan, which isn’t bad. You’re all set. 

“Toru, you’re ready to go?”

Your husband is still yawning when he meets you in the foyer, carrying his handbag with his shoulders sagging forward. He’s dressed sharply in a white button-up shirt, combined with a black suit that accentuates the broadness of his shoulders. He looks handsome. He always does.

“Well, well, well, hello, Mr. CMO,” you snicker, pulling him by the tie while seductively batting your eyelashes at him. “Do you have time to spare? I would like to have a private meeting with you.”

He’s so tired, he doesn’t have the strength to keep up with your flirting, which says something since it’s usually the other way around. He spreads his arms wide open, his pout turning more prominent by the second. “Come here.”

“What?”

“I need my twenty-second hug.”

So, apparently, Satoru believes in this theory he found recently on the internet that said when you hug someone for, at least, twenty seconds, your body begins secreting the hormone oxytocin which is known to boost the immune system and reduce stress. He said that but you know that he’s just doing it so he can squeeze your ass, and that’s a fact, not a theory.

“Fine, but don’t grope my ass.”

“As long as you don’t grope mine.”

“I literally never did that.” You bury your face in his chest, tangling your arm around his waist. Satoru’s warmth is really one of a kind, or maybe he’s just as warm as a normal human being and you’re just too intoxicated by his scent that you stop making sense. No matter what the reason is, it’s comforting to be in his arms and if he doesn’t make a big deal out of it every time (acting like you’re the one who desperately wants to embrace him), you’d probably spend hours of your day just��hugging him like this.

He buries his nose in your strands. “Your hair smells different.”

“I used your shampoo.”

“Yeah? That’s hot.”

You close your eyes, basking in his warmth and enjoying the smell of his perfume. He’s wearing a different brand today, just for a change, and although it’s not as sweet as his other one, this somehow feels much more comforting. Soft and fresh, reminding you less of summer and more of spring this time. “You smell different.”

“I used your perfume. And your bra.”

You’re not sure if you’re laughing over his terrible joke or his deadpan delivery, maybe a bit of both. Nuzzling your face against his chest, you titter, “Yeah? That’s hot.” 

And he’s not sure if he’s smiling over your reply or the way you just sounded so cute giggling like that—no, definitely both. He tightens his arms around your shoulders, squeezing your body against him until you start pounding your fist against his chest, begging for a time-out before he steals all the air in your lungs. “I think we should just skip work today,” he mutters as he releases you. “We can watch a wildlife documentary and count on how many times Benedict Cumberbatch mispronounced the word “Penguin” as ‘Pengwings.’”

“That sounds productive. If you want Maki to kill you.”

He shudders in fear, pulling you back to him. “Just for that, I’m gonna need another twenty.”

Though you feel the urge the roll your eyes, you let him tug you back into his arms and rest his chin on your head. After all, he’s your personal teddy bear. You can spend your eternity just sinking into his embrace like this.

“Satoru?”

“Hmm?”

“Your hands are on my ass.”

“Yeah, but I’m not groping them.”

“You are now.”

“Well now that you mentioned it, I just have to, don’t I?”

You break away, giving a playful slap on the chest. “Enough, we’re running late.”

“Where do you find the energy to go to work every morning?” He asks with weariness in his eyes. “I am this close to throwing myself back to the bed.”

Funny how literally an hour ago, he promised you that he’d work harder to make you feel even prouder of him. “Well, I guess, it all started when I turned into a fully grown woman.” You smiled at him, fixing his tie before you dealt with his collar. He might be the youngest person to enter C-level in his company, but he still dresses as clumsily as a five-year-old if it wasn’t for you to keep his appearance in check all the time.

“I’m a fully grown man too and I still wish I could lay around all day,” he sulks.

“You’re a man-child.” Tugging on his tie, you pull him down until your lips meet his in a chaste kiss. “But I love you. Body, mind, and soul.” You beam at him with your widest grin. “How’s that for your energy booster, Gojo-san?”

To your surprise, Satoru answers you by tossing his handbag to the side and dipping his head down once more to re-attach your lips together. He kisses you with the same fervor he had last night, tongue sneaking inside to taste the minty scent of your toothpaste. You gasp against his mouth, fingers fisting the fabric of his suit as you struggle to maintain your balance. Can’t help but take a couple of steps back from how hard he’s kissing you, you stop only when your spine meets the wall. “Satoru—” You attempt to push him away by placing your hand on his chest but he clamps his fingers around your wrist, bringing it over your head.

With his body pressed against yours, you wonder if he can feel your palpitating heartbeat beating against his own. There’s no stopping him when he gets this aggressive with his kiss and it’s not like you can find any willpower within you to stop him. Fortunately for you, he breaks away, wetting his bottom lip once as his eyes still glaze over your bruised ones.

“Spirits lifted,” he smiles against your lips, sending blood to pool in your cheeks. “Thanks, babe.”

When he lets you go, you find it almost impossible to stay composed. Three years… Three damn years you’ve been married to him and he still knows how to make your knees buckle with a single kiss.

“Babe?”

You push yourself away from the wall, your fingers tangled in your hair when you try to fix it. “W-what?”

Putting on his sunglasses, he casts a smirk, “You might want to fix your lipstick.”

“Oh, I hate you.”

He pecks your cheek. “I love you too, baby girl.”

***

08.32 AM

Despite you being the better driver—better as in I’m not gonna try and bribe an officer with a brand new iPhone whenever I get pulled over or threaten him with my family name when things don’t work out my way—Satoru always insists on having his hands on the steering wheel every time you’re with him. “A gentleman wouldn’t let his lady drive, especially when she looks this pretty in that skirt,” he always says, and yes, maybe this is his gentleman sidetalking—even when the said gentleman had put on the same skirt and caressed his own butt in front of the mirror a few days back. But honestly? You know this is just a part of his master plan to control the music playlist for the next ten to fifteen minutes.

“We’re not listening to Hatsune Miku again,” you say, putting on your seatbelt. 

“Oh, we totally are,” Satoru cackles, his fingers sliding up and down the touchscreen. He has seventeen different playlists consisting of more than a hundred songs in total, all taken from his favorite albums. Which is not much, really, considering Hatsune Miku is featured in around two thousand songs by now (a fact that you, honest to God, don’t care but he keeps reminding you of).

“Satoru, if you play one more Hatsune Miku song, I swear I won't put out tonight.”

“Well, if I have to listen to cookbook again—”

“Jungkook.”

“If I have to listen to cookbook one more time then I won’t put out tonight.”

“That's fine with me,” you shrug.

“Fuck,” he clicks his tongue, desperately jumping to the next option. “Okay, uhh… Oh, I know! You’re not getting my credit card ever again.”

You have one finger hovering above the screen. “So which Hatsune album are we listening to today?”

He sends you a dead stare. “Do you only love me for my money?”

“Oh, honey…” You rest your palm gently on his face, cupping and stroking his cheek. “Of course, I do.” You give him a tap that goes a little too hard than you intended but then again, he kind of deserves it. “Now, drive.” 

Satoru doesn’t even have the energy to come up with a retort. Exhaling in defeat, he kicks in the gear while you, with your face crumpled in repulsion, try to pick the least insufferable Hatsune Miku song. Unfortunately for you, Satoru catches a title that steals his attention.

“OOOH go back, go back! I want to listen to that one!”

You sigh, selecting his song choice. “It’s too early to listen to—” Beaming with joy and oblivious to the hatred you have for that one song, Satoru sweeps in and cranks up the volume until you feel your ears ringing from the inside. 

“Oh my God—” You flinch. If his loud nagging didn’t bust your eardrum, this definitely will. “Does it have to be this loud?!”

“Of course, my goddess is singing!” He shouts, grinning from ear to ear. He starts singing along, just as loudly, if not more. At this point, you swear there are people jogging on the sidetracks looking at your car with their faces contorting into frowns. 

 “I’m the number one princess in the world, so that's how you'll treat me,” he sings, slamming his hands against the wheel, head bobbing to the beat. “Oh my God, this is the soundtrack of my life!”

Still scowling, you have no choice but to listen further to the lyrics.

It's not like I'm acting selfish, I'm not asking for much  I just want you to think from the bottom of your heart that I'm adorable I'm the number one princess in the world  Notice me! Hey! Heeey!  Keeping me waiting is out of the question  Just who do you think I am?  Whatever, I think I could go for some dessert!  Yes, right now!

You grimace. “It really is.”

***

10.54 AM 

11.45 AM 

01.10 PM 

01.29 PM

02.05 PM 

02.29 PM 

03.22 PM 

04.02 PM

05.28 PM

06.11 PM

07.06 PM 

***

AN: Thank you so much for reading! I'm so sorry for the amount of cringe that you had to suffer through while you were reading this 😭

[yanderepalace]

YAHOO THANK U ^_^

Can u write miku with an escaped darling...

Yandere!Hatsune Miku with an escaped darling

warnings: kidnapping

a/n: ngl I had a lot of fun with this one, enjoy!

Miku had resorted to drastic measures out of sheer desperation. She didn’t want to take such actions, but she felt she had no choice.

As a busy idol, Miku was accustomed to constant attention. She struggled if your schedules didn’t align or if you dared to spend time with friends or family instead of her.

Miku didn’t handle that well.

At least she was kind enough not to keep you bound in a dingy basement like some other yanderes might. Instead, she set up a whole room for you in her house, complete with lots of entertainment, a comfy bed, and even some of your missing belongings!

You could do whatever you pleased within the room, but Miku made it very clear that you were not to leave. She kept the doors locked at all times.

She was the most doting captor you could ask for, always asking if you were hungry or needed anything, and she’d get you whatever you asked for.

She expected you to be happy with her, she really did.

When she returned that one fateful night after an exhausting day of training, she wanted nothing more than to nuzzle into your unwilling arms for comfort.

Entering an empty and silent home, she didn’t want to believe it at first. She thought someone must have taken you away, but upon investigation, she found the door lock broken from the inside.

Her teal eyelashes held back tears from stifled sobs as she realized you had abandoned her. Miku’s heart was broken.

Despite feeling shattered, Miku couldn’t wallow in self-pity. She had to find you.

Her blood ran cold thinking about what could happen to you out there. God forbid something should happen where she couldn’t save you.

Not wanting to draw attention to herself, she quickly put on a baseball cap and sunglasses to hide her recognizable appearance. Fans running up to her was the last thing she needed.

When she finally caught up to you, she didn’t get physical immediately.

Upon seeing your frightened appearance, she was reminded that you had left her of your own volition.

Coldly, she stared at you and asked what she did wrong. What could she have possibly done to make you want to leave her?

Miku’s once expressive features were now dull and dark, sending a shiver down your spine. You almost felt bad.

You tried to explain that you knew she loved you, but kidnapping was not the way to pursue a relationship.

It might as well have gone in one ear and out the other. To her, you were clearly not in your right mind if you would leave her like that. Why would she listen to anything you had to say?

At least not until you were back home, safe with her once again.

Somehow, she became even more doting over you. She subconsciously believed that you left because she wasn’t good enough.

Her affections was almost overbearing. The amount of gifts and treats you received, the smothering attention from the blue-haired singer—all just efforts to win your heart.

You instilled a paranoia in poor Miku. She constantly second-guessed herself, wondering if she was doing the right thing, worrying if you were plotting another escape, and fearing if you secretly hated her.

She’ll just have to try even harder, next time.

[celluceta]

✭ Law, Bepo, Penguin, Shachi & Ikkaku finding out you like Vocaloid + headcanons ✭

Hi there! Here are some silly headcanons I've been thinking about the past few days. I've been listening and drawing Vocaloid a lot lately and this idea popped in my head, so I hope you like it!! A good friend of mine helped me with this💚

Please keep in mind that english isn't my first language so there might be grammar errors🫠

I had a lot to write about Law and Bepo...

Also I won't be talking about UTAU that much since I'm not very familiar with them,,, sorry.

���Please keep in mind these are MY headcanons! If yours are different, that's perfectly fine! Feel free to drop them in the comments if you want🎐

⭐Gender neutral reader⭐

Law

Ok so I headcanon there is a common room in the Polar Tang, with a couple of long sofas and where every member of the crew has their own little space somehow, like walls covered in posters and shelves filled with, books and even plushies of marine animals and their hobbies.

You were spending one morning there, listening to your favorite Vocaloid playlist in a den den mushi (you know, like the ones that appear in film red) when Law arrived, looking for a medicine book he didn’t have at his office.

Normally he would have just walked out the room, but as your den den mushi started playing Tokyo Teddy Bear, his eyes couldn't help but rush to look at you.

You noticed it and glanced at him as well. As your eyes met, he quickly looked back, grabbing the book and heading out the room.

"You like Vocaloid, captain?"

It took him a few seconds to answer before leaving you there. "Why would I do? It's a waste of time".

You were confused but didn't think much about it.

Until a couple of days later, when you walked past the door of his office and heard something familiar...

"Shinkai shoojo mada mada shizumu"

You couldn't believe it. You opened the door and looked at him with a smirk on your face, meeting with his shocked, flushed red face.

"IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!" He shouted at you before you left the room giggling, hoping you wouldn't tell the rest of the crew.

He's not the biggest fan, but since Bepo is, he ended up liking a few songs. He would never admit it out loud though, he thinks it would ruin his image.

I can't stop thinking he listens to the most edgy Vocaloid songs... . ...

You know, Lost One's Wheeping, Ghost Rule, Aishite Aishite Aishite and more.

Definitely enjoys Kikuo more than any other vocaloid producer. Also Wowaka.

Nobody knows about this, but he knows the whole lyrics of The Disappearance of Hatsune Miku.

Bepo

Do I have to say it?

Seriously, do I have to say it?

This guy's OBSESSED. He's been listening to Vocaloid for years.

Maybe even before leaving Zou.

Everyone in the crew learned about Vocaloid thanks to him, so when he discovers you also enjoy it, he'll go so excited you'll get trouble understanding what he's saying. You'll see his eyes shining as he's speaking.

One day, on a karaoke session they decided to have not so long after you joined the crew, he started playing Ring no Shitensi.

"Oh, I know this one!"

And his sprakling eyes rapidly landed on you, his lips drawing a bright smile on his face.

He runs into you, not midning the music still playing as he holds your hands and starts talking to you so fast you can barely understand him.

You glanced nervously at Penguin and Shachi for a moment, and they just lifted their thumbs, telling you it was normal.

His favorite producers are definitely Mitchie M, Kinoshita and Livetune.

No matter how many redesigns Miku gets, he'll always prefer the first one.

He knows all the producers mentioned in Kagamine Let's Say the P Names. All of them.

He's one of those people who blast christmas music once it's October 1st, but instead of Mariah Carey it's just Snow Miku songs.

He has a space in his room dedicated exclusively to his lightstick collection, and he knows all existing choreographies from the concerts.

Obviously, in their karaoke sessions, he'll just sing Vocaloid (and Uta) songs.

He has dragged Penguin and Shachi with him, and the rest of the crew knows the lyrics of at least one song or two. Knowing about Vocaloid is inevitable when he's around.

When he discovers a new song Law might like, he eagerly shows him. Law always says he's not interested, but he ends up listening to it on repeat when he's alone.

And he's just as obsessed with UTAU as he is with Vocaloid.

Penguin & Shachi

I feel like instead of them reacting to you, you'd react to them.

Like, again, on a karaoke session, you'd see how they sing along with Bepo, and that just surprises you.

"I didn't know you guys liked Vocaloid!"

"You never asked" They said to you with a playful smirk.

They are glad you also enjoy the music, but don't mind as much as Bepo. Shachi would maybe express it better than Penguin.

Sometimes they join Bepo with the lightsticks, specially if he's playing classics as World is Mine or Luka Luka Night Fever. They ended up learning the movements from watching the bear.

Huge. Deco*27. Fans.

Also they enjoy a couple of Mitchie M and Neru songs, but leave the edgy ones to Law.

Would have a whole discussion over what Miku's voicebank is better on a daily basis.

"V4 pronunciation is way better, man"

"Yeah but it doesn't sound as robotic as V2. What's the point of Miku if she doesn't sound like a robot?"

Shachi's a Rin fan while Penguin prefers Len. Sometimes they tease each other like little kids over who's better, but at the end of the day they both enjoy the twins.

Not that much to say about these guys, just average fans.

Ikkaku

(so sad there aren't more GIFs where Ikkaku appears😭 but this one's fire anyways)

Short because she doesn't really care about Vocaloid that much.

She would be like "Oh that's cool" and continue what she was doing. She just doesn't care at all.

Definitely the most chilled listener among all of them.

V Flower and Gumi. That's it.

She doesn't listen to Vocaloid that often, just from time to time when she remembers they exist.

At first she was like "Wth are they doing..." whenever Bepo, Penguin and Shachi danced with the lightsticks, but now she's gotten used to it.

Has no problem listening to Bepo talk about Vocaloid for quite the long time.

But the bear made her hate Snow Miku songs. She wouldn't have if he didn't played them on repeat from October until the next one is released.

She actually enjoys some of the classics.

Specially Magnet.

You know why... 🧡🤍🩷

[lizaluvsthis]

SMG4: CEO OF RIZZ

To where you needed an alternative title, "Boopkins needs some Rizz"

Person: Hey L- *gets crushed by a piano*

HGG OKAY.... SO... first off I just WOKE up. And our usual spot again is that the coffee shop keeps appearing in the episodes.

(Cough- Brewing Romance is still on the line so when you keep seeing the coffee shop getting shown by the episodes, you'll be darned to not stop thinking about Brewing Romance...)

Three and kaizo are shown, which made it very clear that some of us headcanon three as an uncle and kaizo as the nephew XD

So boopkins has a date with this famous girl and three helps boopkins get his rizz in order to achieve his restaurant getting popular.

No... NO... NOOOOOOOO PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS JUST A COINCIDENCE... PLEASE DEAR GOD- I JUST REDREW THIS MORDETWI MEME... IS THIS A F-CKING MESSAGE?

TELL ME THIS IS A COINCIDENCEEEEE *shakes the person who put it there on purpose*

I noticed the igloo...

... LUKE- LUKEEEEEEE????????????

HOW THE HELL DID I PREDICT THIS JUST BY DRAWING THREE WEARING THE CASINO OUTFIT-

There is just no way... @shygirl4991 SHAY... SHAYYYYYYY?????? THEY KNOW.... THEY'VE SEEN...

Thus... the western hat worn by four still remains there...

I somehow found this one very interesting, I mean- I wouldnt be a shock if it's miku already. Since somehow it's boopkins, and the girl he'd been the one to date are something from fictional stuffs. I never guessed miku but I guessed that it was some anime related.

Then we get- to see this...its a side to side comparisson of how four and three act alot like this when they needed something.

Here comes the begging strategy... so if you put two and two together, they ended up giving them what they wanted with the same "fine" to make that person shut up.

This also leads to how three is never that much aware that his actions in public is drawn attention that he is less destructful and is in his soft side.

Like how he did the same in SMG4 during that time before they both got stuck on an elevator? Three gave him a chance to stop his whining ass. Like he didn't even argue or straight up complained to the blue man, he just basically gave him what he wanted.

This portrays the same thing Miku does as she goes back and returns to the date she has with boopkins.

It'd be a shock if I were to say I weren't that much very cultured on anime stuff but Umaru used to be my favorite childhood show.

Its funny that miku has interests on being a fan of other animes since again- miku is a vocaloid character who sings songs out on public.

When boopkins gave out his moral lesson about "just you being you" and "you dont have to change who you are even tho you're not that much of a gigachad" or sh-t

Because we have three- WHO IS DEFINITELY DONE WITH HIS CRAP- I wouldn't be suprised to this honestly- we already know how SMG3 reacts when boopkins is there, and even with those comments about how he has beef with him about "boopkins bein a loser, he really thinks he's part of the crew"

We pretty much understand how Three isn't a much fan on fiction anime stuff or is even a weeb. Just by looks of Boopkins, he's the one who shows as an openly hearted and a very generous, loyal, kindest creature to have.

But three thinks it's a sh-t because no one else is perfect and that this doesnt matter too much at all to him since EVERYONE is broken enough already.

Which defines him as the emo person in question:

"What the hell is the meaning of life, when you know nothing ever changes shit with where we all still suffered?"

Three is just so desparate enough to run his business and would literally want its popularity get expanded for newcomers to try and welcome themselves from the cafe, mostly enough he'd do anything and EVERYTHING with this power.

That calls out for another hyperfixation.

I never have much to say in this but I somehow found the episode a bit on the neutral side between good or bad-

The episode is... well.... i dunno- interesting, but somehow with attempts on making boopkins "uncharacterize" himself to be a rizzler is weird, but this definitely shows why boopkins doesnt have that kind of rizz SMG3 has.

... *suddenly remembers SMG4 singing that gyatt to rizzler song*

AH-AHEHE-M UHH...

A-anyway- again- my point stands out that Three definitely haz rizz, and Four definitely is lying to the fact that he says he 'doesnt' during the elevator episode.

I'd think about wanting to put Three on a rizz attempt on four still XD (people are gonna go crazy on this)

[twnj]

Fit like a'day! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Sup!

A'right, mate?

...hello 👋 😊

Welcome to my (mostly) Naruto blog-of-sorts!✨️

I do a bit of drawing and dabble in writing on occasion 🎨✏️📖

Where can you find me?

Mainly here tbh.

Twitter - twnj91

But if you search twnj (or time-waster-no-jutsu) you can pretty much find anything I've done on the net for the last 20yrs (please don't judge me...).

🌟Main fandoms are Naruto, Harry Potter, MCU, DragonBallZ, ATLA (and anything else that takes my fancy) 📖

🌟Main ships are Shikatema, SNS, Shikajin, kakasaku, romione, Vegeta/Bulma, Sokka/Suki- if it's written well, I could be convinced of any ships if I'm honest 😅

Thank you to @cafekitsune for the lovely dividers

✂️ See below the cut for my Artwork masterlist 🫡

🎨Artwork Masterlist (In no particular order)

Grandmaster by notquitejiraiya ♟️❤️

I'm not pretending.

Nah, You're Good.

Dragon

I am not weak- redraw

Taste

Shikadai Birthday headcanon

Shikamaru 18th Birthday

Fucking Hell, you're beautiful

Just being a good Second

Good kid, good man...

Daydreaming

Keep looking at me...

Ruin Me

In the hotel lounge

Crouching Kank

In the hotel lounge Tem POV

By the pool redraw

You don't want to fuck him...

Do something for me

If you say so...

Military Oath - Headcannon

Short back and sides - Headcannon

Reunited in the rain

One stranger however

Somehow, he was here.

Headcannon Shikamaru watching her

Answer machine

Cover of 64

Douche

Teach me something new...

Locked eyes

Look at me - original

I want you to have me...

Draw-ish

Recommendation

Tell me what you do want

Metalhead choji - Headcannon

Why are you sorry?

Time doesn't stand still for the living

That's a horrible this to say...

Nevahööd of them - Headcannon

I am not weak - original

Ice bucket

I have a banner...

I think I just need more sleep, man... - Headcannon

First kiss

Shut the door, Temari... - original

Terrible Second

He's really gone.

Daydreaming - original

Notoriety- then and now

I want that...

Fucking idiot

Go fuck yourself.

She ruin you...

On the metro

...do you enjoy it..?

By the pool - original

In the hotel lounge - original

Bullshit

Naruto 🍃🍥

The Night Sky Passing By - Kintou

Shikamaru Scottish AU - singing

Shikamaru Scottish AU - session

The Huntress - A.N.B.U by Servenna and Sillysnowden11 here

Accidental PDA - Wrong time, Worse place by eeveleon here

Blood and Gold by Majsasaurus

Butch F1 Temari

Trenches - No One Cries for Unknown Soldiers by Majsasaurus here

It's been a long time - No One Cries for Unknown Soldiers by Majsasaurus here

Boruto 🍥🌀

Chromatic Aberration

Guiding- Sway by Clumsydragon28

Neck kiss - Sway by Clumsydragon28

Chocho - Spice Unites by Clumsydragon28

Spices Unite - Headcannon

Olympics - Inojin 100 metre schlong p.1

Olympics - Inojin 100 metre schlong p.2

Olympics - Chocho

He has the hunger...

Tongue piercing Inojin

Getting her nails did.

The Daily Lug blog 🦻

The Audiologist

Other 🤷‍♀️

Katie Morag inspired Scottish Miku

[jessie223]

My tmnt iteration!!

(name is undecided so far)

The humans!!

These are mainly based on 2012, with mixed elements of the rottmnt!

Here's the list of them from oldest to youngest, I with a short description of their personalities

🍕

- Donnie / 14 / He/it / The Leader not by choice

- Mad scientist, all the way, not in an evil way, but in a silly Frankenstein way. Sort of forgets it has siblings due to how obsessed he gets with things, means well though, he makes them things as a way of affection. It's the oldest child, but a bad influence. Raph is the only one who keeps the gang alive whenever Donnie tries to lead anything. Donnie never wanted to be a leader, but it was Just because it was the oldest.

🍕

- Raph / 13 / He/him / The medic

- He's sort of like that grumpy dad that says he doesn't want a dog, but like two days later he spoils that dog and carries it like a baby. Raph puts himself in a bit of a care giving role, still mostly serious, but it slips through when worried about his brothers or really excited about something. His relationship with Mikey is not like 2012, where it's bickering and annoyance, it's more like "what are you doing on the fridge mikey get down-". He wants to be the leader, since he thinks it would make his brothers listen to him more, but he's been reluctant to ask for it since he's not sure if he'd be an actual good leader on missions and such.

🍕

- Leo / 12 / He/they / the entertainment

- Basically if rottmnt Leo gave way less of a shit about literally anything. If the world was burning, Leo would want to look amazing while laying in a hammock sipping a sprite. He literally only does anything for the sake of their brothers. Kinda goes all out on the bedazzle, has the most knowledgeable about humans and the one who April met first. Leo is obsessed with music and wants to become a famous singer, but the whole mutant thing makes it difficult. They had thought about it a lot though. ALOT. Also a FNAF lore kid. He's somehow exhausted and hyper at the same time, they couldn't explain to you how that works.

🍕

Mikey / 11 / Any / The

- the littlest prick you'll ever meet (But it's cute so it's okay/j). The most excited about Ninja related stuff and the most excited about missions splinter sends them on. Tries really hard for splinter to think he's good enough. (Even though splinter is already incredibly proud of all of his sons). He's rejection sensitive and hasn't told anyone about it yet. Mikey is really good at acrobatics and uses it a lot when fighting. It's sort of like a special interest almost. Met Casey first when he was delivering pizza.

I will probably re work their designs slightly as I continue to draw them,

but these are the scrapped concepts I had for Donnie and Mikey if you wanted to know (Donnie went too much "Miku the world is mine" and Mikey went the sonic character cartoons route)

[untowardgloom]

Somehow my first time drawing Hatsune Miku.

[fdrsamericanflagduckfloaty]

Drop the Miku Binder TJ rant bestie

okay so like

i was just thinking about it, and, like, i think it's fucking nuts but also really weird how the hamilton fandom (which i'm in but i swear i'm not an uwu lams turtles shipper please) somehow took this CRUSTY, TERF-BANGED, UGLY, OLD, REDHEADED, RAPIST ASS MOTHERFUCKER,

and turned his ugly ass into this.

like damn what the hell- what- how???? okay like yeah, they're using daveed diggs as a base for this bullshit, which, okay, fine, but YOU DID NOT NEED TO ADD THE INFO. The idea itself is funny but also a bit weird, however im 99% sure Diggs himself wore that shirt. However, all of the extra info??? come on. Where'd the fandom get this istg y'all-

Also, also, they did something similar by making John Laurens (gay blonde dumbass) into an UWU turtles boy. ....why. Bi trash coffee gremlin tumblr over-worked sleep-deprived alexander hamilton. like yeah relatable but. why. small bean big sweater uwu innocent boy blushy short james madison. ...why. bro was stubborn and would pick a fight and was the 'fuck you' type of shy.

I just find it wild the fandom made this and it is the entirety of the fandom into one. There's the good sides, there's the bad, and there's this. Which encompasses the ENTIRE. FUCKING. FANDOM.

The fandom has its headcanons, it has its perks, but then you reach the side where everyone is just a wild fucking original character. They don't model the historical figures anymore- they're just OCs with the name 'Philip Hamilton' or 'John Laurens' or god forbid our third U.S president 'Thomas Jefferson' slapped onto it.

I'm also so confused as to how this is what the fandom is known for. We have some good fics, we have hella good art, we have a M U S I C A L , and then the first thought people have of the Ham fandom is Miku Binder Third President Founding Fucker Slaveowner Thomas Jefferson.

I also find it kind of offensive (almost put insluting oh my ufckjg-) that they made a founder become this but like he'd probably be really pissed so please keep fucking up his memory lmao he deserves it

But like... also why. What made them think of this.

Like yeah I write 20k word TR smut but you don't see me drawing it.

You don't see me making him an UWU e-boy.

...Eh I probably would for shits and giggles tbh

But like this is founding father Thomas Jefferson. Third Pres. Second VP. First Sec. of State. And he is a furry, ex-cocaine addict. Also btw do they mean John Laurens or John Adams as the former drug dealer part because neither are better but it'd really help

Also bro literally raped his 14 year old slave and had like 6 kids with her. He had her room DIRECTLY NEXT TO HIS. He RAPED HIS DEAD WIFE'S HALF-SISTER. AND HE'S A SAD UWU MAN WHO DID NOTHING WRONG?

Let's not forget this same person made a post saying Lizzie (the Queen) would be reincarnated as a horse when she died. I'm serious. Deadass.

However, it's also funny as fuck because this entire thing is a tarnish to Jefferson and I fucking HATE that bastard so like good job lol

At the same time though it's still super weird??? But insane??? Because how did this become one of the Tumblr exclusives??? like it's Tumblr history at this point. Twitter history. You cannot express any like for the Hamilton musical before you get the 'have you seen miku binder thomas jefferson' and it's like 'well shit'.

But also remember: THIS IS NOT AN OC TO FUCK AROUND WITH. Hamilton the Musical specifically gave you and presented you the founder. Thomas Jefferson. Played by Daveed Diggs. Just because it is played by a POC, but also modernized, and vastly different from the actual founder and President, does not mean that at its core it is NOT STILL THE SAME PERSON.

If you name it Thomas Jefferson, if you use the presentation of him given by Daveed Diggs, you are still using that white fucking slave-owning racist motherfucker, and that's the point of it all.

I find it stupid but funny but also insane, and I wouldn't care, unless I KNEW IT WAS SERIOUS. The artist made it seriously. They made John Laurens. They made Philip Hamilton. They did this seriously.

but like also look at this lmao

This meme of Thomas Jefferson in a Hatsune Miku binder really got trending on Twitter at one point

It's an infamous, hellish, classic meme of both Tumblr and the Hamilton fandom, and it deserves what attention it's got, but Jesus please never unironically make shit like this again, Hamilfans, we're stained by this we don't need another😭🔫

EDIT:

i have more

So like, I just remembered: it kinda romanticizes these guys??? The musical??? so like don't get me wrong i love the music but... it puts them into this light. This pink light. It paints Hamilton as an abolitionist who was outspoken about it. When, in reality, dude traded and sold slaves for his in-laws + wasn't all that outspoken about it + was against immigrants or migrants, WHEN DUDE WAS FROM THE ISLANDS. HE HAD SCOTTISH BLOOD. AND HE'S AGAINST IT? Hypocrisy at its finest.

Washington also owned slaves and ran his own plantation too, so he's not off the hook. Madison, the 'uwu small bean' of the fandom, also owned slaves and ran a plantation. So the main people of this entire fiasco are slave-owners. Perfect. But also I've heard Ron Chernow's book on Hamilton, the entire start of the musical, is a bit biased to Ham himself, so...

You could be saying 'but FDRsduckfloaty, Sally is mentioned!' yes. But however, not enough. Not more. It's not even implied more than potentially ONCE what he did, and I'm not sure it ever was! Cabinet battle 3 states it flat-out but it was cut. For your info, Ben Franklin and John Adams are the only two you can really like in the slavery aspect. Ben bought them but let them go for their freedom, and John detested slavery and was against it. Never owned one.

Jefferson did add a slavery clause to the declaration but it was discarded, and he didn't fight half as much as he could have. Maybe he did and since it was the 1700s he didn't have a lot of support, but surely he could've done something like, I don't know, call it out after his terms? Once you're done gaining your second term and out of office, they can't do shit to it or your presidency, since it's over.

So the musical itself has its own problem and the fandom is even worse. It blatantly disregards that a LOT. A hella lot of the amrev fandom + a small part of the ham fandom has called TJeffs out for it but I mean can we please not make shit like Miku Binder Jefferson and act like he wasn't an actual child rapist???

This video does pretty well at it. I will admit the tagline 'America then, told by America now' almost sends shivers down my spine for what it really means. But then again I find men not knowing they'd make it down into the history books for starting the world's global power and the world's economic powerhouse pretty interesting. Doing something big and knowing it's historical, but not that it's going to form a very, VERY large country, where you'll be honored down the road and called a Founding Father of an entire nation? Signing papers and not knowing they're the founding stones of a country and still looked up to today? Intriguing.

But like still fuck Thomas Jefferson lmao

there's a lot more videos on it that dig deep, but the point is, that Hamilton is a good musical with good songs but it's also very... complex, and a bit problematic, Thomas Jefferson is a little bitch, and you should stan 1776 before you ever stan Hamilton. 1776 does not do this. It is much more realistic. 1776 has Benjamin Franklin and that's an immediate win. Be more like a 1776, be less like a Hamilton.

[playroom-sekaii]

hi!! um this is my first time requesting something like this so I hope I get it right, but can I please have some regressor rin and caregiver miku hcs? if you do the virtual singers ofc!

Of course I'll do the Virtual Singers! This post'll focus on their "default" versions, but if you'd like posts for any of their Sekai variants please feel free to let me know!!

-I can honestly see all of the default Virtual Singers as flips with decently large age ranges (they're meant to portray a large range of feelings, so of course their ranges for things like this would be large as well!), but Rin normally slips to ~2-5, she and Len are both quite the little guys!

-Rin's quite likely to slip after a long day of performances, or if a song she's singing that day is especially sad or scary (such as those by mothy, she ended up very small after her and Len first performed Servant of Evil).

-Miku's actually quite a good caregiver! She takes care of the feelings of people all over the world, of course she can take care of little ones! She's more of a big sister caregiver when compared to people such as Meiko and Kaito, but she's working as hard as she can to be a good cg for her Rinrin! Sometimes she'll even try to get inspiration from her iterations in the Sekais to learn how to be a better caregiver, taking notes while watching L/n and N25 Miku-

-It's actually quite easy to tell if Rin's feeling small, though her voice is a key tell, she's a Virtual Singer after all! Her usual voice is more akin to her Power voicebank, though when she's small it's close to her Sweet one. Other than that, she's somehow even more hyper and relatively clingy, the moment "Miku-nee" leaves her lips she can tell. She's not really ashamed of regressing, it's just a thing she does, it's okay! She's trying to get a certain mirror image of hers to realize the same...

-Obviously, Rin still loves singing while she's small! She likes to put on little concerts for the others and her plushies, and Miku always makes sure to cheer her own, glowsticks and everything! Usually she'll sing happier carefree songs like Sweet Magic or once upon a dream, though sometimes she'll try to sing Miku's songs to impress her, doesn't she sound amazing? Miku is very proud <3

-Rin is still a bit of a prankster while little, trying to trick the others quite often. Miku isn't immune to this, usually with her Rin will try to sneak up and scare her or hide her things. Miku doesn't ever get too mad at her, but she doesn't want to endorse this, so she ends up lightly scolding her sometimes. She tries to put Rin in timeout, but she always puppy-dog eyes her way out of it.

-Sometumes Rin ends up a bit grumpy, she's usually quite happy though she can be pouty when things don't go her way, but Miku's always there to cheer her up! She spoils her a bit, but can you blame her? Anything for Rinrin! Even if she can't solve her icky feelings through giving her things, usually a song can! Rin forgets whatever she was mad about when Miku-nee starts singing <3

-Rin really likes arts and crafts, especially while small. She loves drawing and making things for Miku and the others, and Miku makes sure to keep every single piece she does. So what if she has a drawer overflowing with drawings or ten kandi bracelets, they were all made by her little one after all!

-Rin's quite the hyper little one, never really liking to take naps, but thankfully Miku's amazing at lullabies! Softer songs from her will always lull Rin to sleep, even if she ends up pouting over it when she wakes up.

-Rin is very cuddly when she's on the lower end of her age range, and Miku is always willing to give her little one what she desires! She's surprising strong, so she can give her uppies with ease! Rin is very satisfied, she's not the shortest anymore, and it's all thanks to her big sissy!

-Sometimes Miku takes Rin to look over the Sekais with her when she's small, and she absolutely loves it! Look, that's her! But different! And those kids are doing such cool things, like becoming idols and putting on plays, can we do those things too? Huh, some of the people that have made Sekais are also age regressors? Woah! She plays pretend games based on what she sees often, or she'll pretend that she's the Rin for a Sekai of her plushies or the other Virtual Singers :3

[clqveris]

stock dancing but it's all the fandoms i've ever been in

despite tumblr's accounts being called blogs, this is probably going to be the only "blog post" that I'll ever post. at least in the near future.

it's going to be a long one. disclaimer, it will contain some talk of things like fandom discourse, as well of mentions of Dead Dove topics, so scroll away if you need.

it will also be pretty personal, so I'm not adding all the tags for the fandoms and characters. this is mostly to those who know me.

I'll start at the beginning, in the best chronological order that I can remember. Not by order of appearance in the video, because I kept forgetting what came first when drawing the frames.

My Little Pony (Rarity) and Warrior Cats (Firestar)

These were my very first "fandoms." Before I even went to school, I discovered MLP on the television. I then proceeded to draw those stupid little ponies on the desk and some plastic containers. Thankfully it was with pencil, and not on any important containers and whatnot. Very glad I'm not a brony now, and very glad there was a human version so I didn't have to make a pony awkwardly dance.

Warrior cats was a series I read for a long time. I don't remember when I dropped it, but I just ended up losing interest. It has been stretched out by a lot by now, I believe. Warrior cats was also the first fandom that I "participated" in, by using Amino. Somehow, miraculously, I got out unscathed. By that, I mean no "safe adults" or suspicious people approached me. Not that I would've fallen for it after listening to internet safety week. Firestar is at the end of the animation because, well, it's difficult to make a non-anthro cat dance the same way as people do.

It's funny, because these two are most associated with people becoming furries later on in life, and somehow I am the only one who doesn't take much of an interest in furries within my friend group.

LittleBigPlanet (Sackboy) and Vocaloid (Miku)

LBP wasn't something that I was really "in a fandom" for, but I definitely really enjoyed playing it with my best friend and even made my own username based on it. I remember playing LBP, LBP2, and LBP3, and the disaster that was LBP3 because after finishing the story, none of it would load properly. Tons of surfaces and props would just be missing. Still, it's a nice game to look back on.

I will be honest, this is probably the first Miku I've drawn. Vocaloid has just been a thing in my life since discovering it back... I don't remember when, but the first music that went in playlists of music I liked to listen to was generally made with vocaloid or other voice synthesizers. Miku has always been there, somehow.

*not to be mistaken with AI voice generators, as people actually agree to provide their voice for the voice synthesizers

Marvel (Winter Soldier), Pokemon (Misty), Yandere Simulator (stand in- Vera)

I never drew anything for Marvel, except for the above frame. My family watched it when I was younger, everyone watched it before it started falling off after the infinity stones thing got resolved. The only reason I put it here was because I definitely read fanfiction for it, and definitely thought there was something fruity about america and his best friend. I mean, you find yourself in the future and everyone you've ever known is dead except wait, your best friend isn't, but he's brainwashed and now you have to kill him, so you betray the government and all your new friends instead to try and reach him. Shame that kind of story was stuck in the mcu.

Pokemon was an interesting phase. I drew Pokemon in ms paint, but never any of the humans. I had (still have some) Pokemon plushes and watched the first Pokemon anime on Netflix when it was still on there. I also watched the one with Serena. This was also the fandom that I first discovered porn. And tentacles. So if you ask me why, it's because of Pokemon. It's rather funny, because once again, I seem to be the only one in the friend group who doesn't take an interest in Pokemon anymore.

Yandere Simulator was discovered in elementary school. Because it's been shown that the dev was found to be interacting inappropriately with minors, I have not drawn the protagonist of the game and instead used an OC of mine as a stand in. All you need to know about Vera is that he is not a good person. I used to draw for this fandom back in my Amino days, just a bit, but ended up dropping it because of more and more people pointing out his incompetency. Plus, the complaint that to do anything in game you would have to watch the videos on YouTube, thus making a blind playthrough impossible. As well as his "sex license" comment, which was more than enough to turn me away from that game.

That aside, YanSim was my first exposure to the "yandere" trope- the obsessive, possessive type characters. In the game, it was done in a very bland way, but I like the general idea of the trope. Its influence still drives me towards certain preferences of mine in other fandoms, but I'd rather attribute that to Araki, who apparently popularized the trope with Yukako. I guess this is probably where my interest in "bad things happening in fiction" started.

Don't Hug Me I'm Scared (Sketchbook), Don't Starve (Willow), Cookie Run (Roguefort Cookie)

Initially, DHMIS was going to be my second or third fandom on the list, but I realized that I got into it when I was old enough to have an email address, and not before. Hence, now it's down here. I ended up using that popular design of the human sketchbook to be recognizable. It was an interesting fandom, and also another from my Amino days. I don't know who came up with the idea of the sketchbook and the clock having a love-hate relationship, but looking back on it, they might've been cooking. I remember joining a discord server for it, having my phone get taken away, and then coming back and the server was about the grinch. I also remember that this was the first time I actually interacted with the community and talking to the others within the fandom, since the Amino community was pretty small. I look back at it and cringe, because there are so many things I did for attention. Instead of linking back to a person, I would put emojis around the link with sunglasses and pointing hands saying "This idea came from 😎 👉 this person." All that aside, this is probably where my interest in horror started.

The only reason I remembered that I was technically in the Don't Starve fandom was because I went looking in my folder of drawings and found some there. Then I remembered that yes, I had also read fanfiction for it. Mostly, though, it was a videogame that I played with my family. I ended up using the charcoal pencil brush here for Willow, instead of the pen, to mimic the artstyle just a bit.

Cookie Run is a fandom that I was in, and only get back in briefly whenever Roguefort is in an event. I also first discovered it due to an artist on tumblr who I followed for DHMIS. No idea where they are now because I can't remember the correct spelling of the username. Other than that, I just play the game, which I have been playing since before high school. Now I am out of high school. It was also the fandom that I believe was probably responsible for a good amount of my early art improvement, due to some art challenge where you drew every cookie. Overall, fond memories, but I'd rather not return to the fandom. Too much drama, too many people making big fusses over dumb shit. The Valentine's Day video being an especially dumb one, especially when you consider that maybe, putting in offensive stereotypes contributes to bad perceptions of real life people vs some ship between biscuits. I even remember asking, when I was younger, "Should I ship Pink Choco cookie with White Choco cookie or Hero cookie? I can't decide." Poor little me didn't know about multishipping, and the answer I got was that "Some people headcanon the Choco cookies as siblings, so it's safer to ship her with Hero." Well, now that I'm older, I have decided that I don't have the energy to act like fictional ships anywhere near the same level as real relationships and problems, and would probably ship both were I still interested in the fandom.

Team Fortress 2 (Sniper), Doki Doki Literature Club (Monika), Jojo's Bizzare Adventure (Kakyoin)

Yes, I was in the TF2 fandom. I barely played the game but I usually played as Medic when I did. I also realize that as I type this out, this might have been the original old men thing. Or at least, some of the oldest. I drew them a lot, and I wrote a fic that I orphaned some years later out of shame. It had a werewolf in it for some reason, and was multiple chapters. Although each chapter was only about 1000 words, compared to my current long-term multichapter fic which easily have 2000+ a chapter. Well, aside from that, I don't know why I liked Sniper the most. He throws piss in bottle and I will say, piss is something I avoid if I can. It's in my muted words somewhere.

I never personally played DDLC. I did watch playthrough of it, and seeing people's reactions to some of the stuff was always enjoyable. Yes, Monika was my favorite, and still is. I can't say with certainty why she is, but maybe I just found her the most interesting out of all the characters. This fandom I remember drawing for because this is where one of my OCs originated from, although that character I am only really remembering as I type this out, despite repurposing her.

JJBA. I cannot say that I look back at my time here happily. This is probably where I first started learning about the current state of fandom (ie, Not Good) and getting a bit of personal experience with it. At the time, I did enjoy it. I enjoyed talking in a ship server (A) about it, and another general server (B) about it. It was great and all, until A started blowing up. Which wouldn't be a problem if it didn't have a blacklist of topics that anyone could add to. They're useful in smaller circles, yes, but in large public servers, most things are going to end up being blacklisted. I remember dresses and "positive talk about mothers" being blacklisted, and eventually I got too anxious that I would say something on the blacklist to speak at all. B was okay, and I even tried to get over my fear of talking to strangers in voice chat by joining one during a whiteboard or something similar where everyone draws on the same canvas. I later ended up deleting all 200+ of my messages there and leaving. Why? Because the members of the server did not know the concept of "block and move on." "Scroll away." "Ignore things that you don't like online." A popular artist in the fandom was brought up and the people started trashing on them because of their wedding, which was apparently themed with the favorite JoJo ship. (But honestly, if someone wanted to theme their wedding to a ship I would respect the hell out of them.) The reason I ended up leaving that server was because they started saying stuff like, "It's creepy and weird, because the characters are minors so there's probably something wrong with that person," and implying such things over a JoJo ship of all things. (And, it gets into the territory of the "violent videogames are the cause of vioence" argument. Do you think that because I particularly enjoy using shotguns in videogames because I find them satisfying means that I want to go out and shoot real people with a shotgun? The state of gun control in the US is awful, and if anything, I want less guns.) And, generally, judging things by how "weird" they are rather than whether it harms or helps people is too arbitrary of a measure. Unfortunately, this was far from the last time that I would see serious accusations made on the basis of dumb shit, and now I am doubtful of most callout posts.

Other than that, at least I know all the Jojo references people complain about seeing all the time. Although, now that I'm not into JoJo, I don't actually see that many jokes about it.

Helltaker (Malina) and Weak Hero (Alex)

Malina gets two frames because she unluckily got the one that did not show her face. I can't say I remember much about the Helltaker community, but this was the community that I posted on Reddit to. Since then I have not used Reddit, but it was a good game and people seemed nice, at least from what I remember. Azazel was the one I drew the most, but Malina is a gamer girl, so I chose her for this.

I only remember Weak Hero because I saw that I drew a total of two images for this fandom. I discovered it on Webtoon, and joined a server which I have long since left, and that's all I can remember. Other than that, it was a webtoon with fighting and that's all I can say.

Omori (Omori) and Genshin Impact (Xinyan)

Omori was the first rpgmaker game I actually drew things for, although most of these drawings consisted of Sweetheart. Although I do like Ib and The Witch's House and Corpse Party, I never really went into the fandom. There wasn't much else to it, but the plot of Omori was good and it led me to discover one of my favorite artists, who, unfortunately, has left the internet. I wish them well.

Xinyan is here because she was and still is one of my favorites from the game. I wish she got better treatment from the game, especially gameplay-wise. I haven't drawn much for this game, due to the level of detail on outfits, but I did still play it for two years and read fanfiction for it. Lately I've just been watching videos for the story quest, though. Uninstalling it gave me 50+ GB back of space on my computer. About the Genshin fandom... JoJo may have been my first real bad experience with how online communities are, but this was my first time seeing how widespread it was. Lots of baseless accusations, fighting over headcanons, telling people awful things because they dislike a character... Well, the post that says the best way to enjoy fandom is to enjoy it with a small circle becomes more and more correct.

OC era (Left to Right- Aster @/sepialkali, Lucy @/hattiestgal, Alason @/moonlightguardianmoon, Zion @/sweet-pattycakes, Bisu/Sparrow @/monarch-orien, and Danaus)

For this one I realized that I had leftover blank frames at the end of the animation, and asked my friends for their ocs to fill in. This era lasted a very long time, and started because I discovered Tupperbox. Since then, my characters have become a lot less watered down as I drifted away from roleplay, and most of the things I do with them is just art now. Two of them are getting a sort of visual novel story thing made of them though, if that counts for anything.

Nu:Carnival (Kuya), Stardew Valley (Elliott), Wildfrost (Tusk)

Despite playing this game for a sizeable amount of time, the most I've done for this fandom was read fics and draw an event character once. Somehow, despite the bland gameplay, I have made a habit of continuing to play the game. I used Kuya because he's the only character I consistently roll for.

I first played Stardew Valley a long time ago without mods, and then forgot about it for a few years. When I came back to it earlier this year, I thought it would be funny to install mods that makes characters into crazy yanderes. It was definitely entertaining, although most of them were pretty standard. I will give massive props to whoever made the Elliott one, because they added events and schedule changes and a lot more than just dialogue changes. Anyways, the reason this is here is because I decided, on a whim one day, to start writing a very long fic for Stardew. This was at the beginning of the year, and it is not even halfway through right now. Then I lost interest in the game while retaining an interest in writing the fic, somehow.

Wildfrost I picked up near the beginning of the year. It doesn't have much of a story, and there's little fanart because of that, but the character designs are pretty good. I still play it daily, and Tusk is still a good unit, because it's basically free damage.

Honkai Star Rail (Peepaw Welt), The Greatest Estate Developer (Lloyd), The Coffin of Andy and Leyley (Ashley)

Honkai Star Rail remains on my computer, but I cannot find the energy to open and play it. Each new character becomes its own meta, and the gameplay loop isn't that enjoyable anymore. During the time that I did, however, I had my 50/50s ruined twice by Welt, which is why he is here. Otherwise I would've chosen Tingyun or Yanqing instead. Gameplay aside, I am lucky to have found a good community for this fandom through a ship server, as an almost complete mirror of the previous servers I was in for JoJo. They are what keeps me in the fandom.

TGED was a very short era that lasted for less than a month. During that time, however, I was afflicted by the demons, and drew and even wrote a decent amount (at least for my standards.) Funnily enough, what drove me away from it was the server I was in for it. This fandom is a very small one, and so the server had probably the majority of active fandom members that could speak English. What made me leave was the poor moderation and some immaturity from some members. Links to NSFW fanart was allowed in the same channel as SFW fanart, NSFW conversations wouldn't always be in the NSFW channel... Which, if it was an adults only server, would've been fine, but it is not, and I feel that this server is a genuine safety concern with the NSFW problem.

TCOAAL was a game I watched a playthrough of when it first came out, and then I saw the chaos that happened when it blew up with the release of the second chapter. I personally found it very entertaining, with the way people didn't have a problem with cannibalism and murder and cults until they found out there was an ending with incest, and suddenly the game was a bad game you shouldn't play. Although if you look at the Steam reviews most people don't care because, well, it's only a game. This game also served as a bit of a precursor. I find codependency in ships interesting, but I am only slightly interested in the game. I don't think about it that much, for some reason. Maybe that'll change when more chapters are released.

The S-Classes That I Raised (Han Yoojin)

If you take a quick scroll through my account, you can probably tell that this is my current fandom. Funnily enough, the server that brought me into this was one I joined while trying to get out of TGED. I suppose it only worked because I read it on Webtoon awhile ago. This server is a lot better kept, although maybe it's because it's strictly an 18+ server. As well as that, it's a smaller community within the fandom, because the server's subject is inherently tied to one of the Big Dead Dove topics, so there's a lot less worrying about drama starting over that sort of stuff. To my mutuals, I will not talk about weird dead dove stuff that I'm into unless asked to, so don't worry about it. Some sort of codependency just makes me go crazy. Unfortunately, I was not able to fit him next to another image to make Tumblr make him smaller, and had to remove one of Malina's frames to fit the 30 image limit.

If any of my friends are reading all the way down to here, thanks! I'm very lucky to have you guys as friends, and I hope we can stay friends for a long time.

[vagun1ka]

LUKAMIKU AU (everything about it)

Somehow last autumn i fell into vocaloid rabbithole and ended up obsessing over one single ship: Hatsune Miku x Megurine Luka. I made up an AU to explore the romance between these vocal synthesizers.

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT (and WON'T) portray relationships between them as minor x adult ones! In my drawings both of them are over the age of adulthood or both under (if it's school au). Here's the list of things i did:

SETTING: The whole story happens in modern Japan. Vocal synthesizers (vocaloid, synth, utau, etc.) are real human beings living their life, most of them pursue career in music sphere but do in differently. There are giants of music industry sponsored by labels and agencies such as Crypton Future Media, YAMAHA Corporation, Internet Co., Ltd., etc. (it's basically companies who develop vocal synth software irl) and indie artists and musicians! Despite being part of different agencies many artists know each other and often record songs together. Vocaloid producers exist in the au as well. They usually are songwritters and composers behind many songs that human!vocaloid perform in agencies.

PLOT: Megurine Luka (29yo) joins Crypton Future Media music agency through an audition. She used to work at office so the whole music industry thing is still new to her. Hatsune Miku (25yo) who is a real pop star of crypton aims to guide her and acts as a senior to Luka, helping her get used to work. Miku's attitude leads Luka to develop a crush and after some time she confesses to Miku but gets rejected. The things however don't fall apart and two of them build friendship that may or may not lead to romance in the future. AU implies that Luka and Miku are both neurodivergent and Luka has ADHD! COMICS and other stuff: It is mostly in chronological order.

Before relationship: • Meiko talks about Miku in agency • 'hold onto me tight' (small animatic) • Talkshow interview (part 1) • Talkshow Interview (part 2) • 'crypton needs you' • tuna steak • 'it's nice to be friends with you' • about 'magnet'

In relationship: • relationship dynamic • Luka's executive dysfunction • tuna documentary • 'boats and birds' • Miku fell asleep on a couch • Luka and headscarves (small comic implied) • About sexual (Miku's) preferences • Miku got stuck in a sweater • Lukamiku kissing (+comic)

OTHER CHARACTERS IN AU: the au is flexible so i can put any vocasynth i want in it, even if it had no relation to cryptonloids. • MEIKO, KAITO and Kagamine Twins a.k.a. crypton family • GUMI and v flower, the popular singers in au ▸ flower and miku's first meeting (a comic) • Kasane Teto, Miku's friend and a good person • SF-A2 Miki and Piko siblings (+Kiyoteru Hiyama) • MAYU and Oliver cousins ▸ MAYU and Oliver videocall (a comic) • galaco a.k.a. MAYU's mentor

[willowthefoxxo]

HATSUNE MIKU COLORFUL STAGE OC!!!

HIDORA KEMOITO!!

now, BACKSTORY TIIIIMEEE!!! (it's still a bit wip tho so i might alter it later if i made any mistakes or wanna change something)

They chose his own name, going with the first name Hidora because it contains the Japanese word for fire, part of the word for dragon, and the word hidora translates to hydra, and she chose the last name Kemoito because they decided it was a good way to shorten kemonohito into a good name, since kemonohito translates to beast person and is the closest equivalent he knew about to therian.

Hidora is an online friend of Rui's who moved to Japan from ✨America✨, and managed to get into the same school as him. Aaand from there, he was eventually roped into the Wonderlands X Showtime troupe as a fifth member of the group. They made their own show outfit mostly by themselves with just a little help from Rui and Tsukasa, basing her outfit around dragons since he's a dragon therian (theriomythic if you're a person who cares about that distinction).

Hidora is usually fairly quiet, since she doesn't know enough Japanese to confidently speak it yet, but whenever he has Rui around to translate for them she is insanely loud and annoying. Possibly worse than Tsukasa. And he somehow has even less of a filter than Tsukasa, so there have been multiple times where Rui has had to refuse to translate for them.

Now, for the profile info-

VA: Willow Heartwood (me :3)

School: Kamiyama High School

School year: 2-A

Hobbies: Sewing, drawing

Specialty: Singing in a low register and/or really loudly

Favorite food: Takis

Least favorite food: Tomatoes

Dislikes: Having to do anything she doesn't wanna, homework

DOB: March 5th

Height: 175 cm

now for the little profile blurb thing:

Rui's online friend who recently moved to Japan, Hidora is very loud and chaotic and will never not speak her mind. They are absolutely insistent on making every one of their performances in-your-face and as memorable as possible, and often want to play the villain characters. Not many people outside of Rui and his friends ever talk to her, so to most other students they're just "That weird American in the back of the classroom who always has Takis", but that definitely doesn't stop him from single-handedly plunging the entire classroom into pure chaos the second the teacher looks away.

[revelry-in-severity]

I did some minor updating to the designs for everyone. And then proceeded to ramble about them because why not

Lingering in Remnants:

First of all, Miku kills it in the new outfit. Slay girl. Second of all, Ena totally gets on Akito's case about having so many colors in his hair even if she was the one to do for him. With Nene being the only one to not have more than one color in her hair, An has been trying to convince her to do something about it.

Somehow, everyone always ends up at their concerts. They don't know how it happens, it just does. Shiho does not approve even if it secretly pleases her to be selling out so many tickets. She and Akito get each other fired up so much for practice, poor Nene

Astral☆Imagery:

Mizuki is adorable. Look at them. With Mizuki's and Airi's expertise in in being online and in front of others, they attract a bit more of a crowd this time around. They also have the opportunity for some nicely filmed videos of their shows.

Just Airi hanging out with her kids

Chronic/Ally:

Now there is a large amount of potential here that I didn't realize before. I sort of mentioned it in some of the previous posts, but then I really thought about it. Honami and Touya. They are opposites. Touya is a pretty honest character and not much actually troubles him but put the honesty that can make others unhappy against someone who hides what she feels to make others happy? Or the fact that Haruka would be on with Touya emotionally most of the time? While Kanade would be with Honami. This is some great stuff right here

Also, Honami and Haruka are more athletic than the other two. I just want to see Kanade and Touya collapse around them by attempting something small.

Euphoric Echoes:

You just know there is so much guilt surrounding Tsukasa and Ichika. If they had been anyone else then it might not have been there, but the older brother and childhood friend hanging out when the sister who connected them can't? Oh yeah, there's definitely a 'is this replacing Saki' mentality.

But also Tsukasa and Mafuyu share the similarity of acting happy to make others happy- Mafuyu obviously doing it more than him. The difference between them and Shizuku however is that they act around people they know. They can guess how to act as needed. Shizuku doesn't get to know her many fans. She doesn't get to guess around, but she needs to have these interactions go over smoothly. With Tsukasa as a blueprint, she definitely has a higher chance of just knowing when someone is acting around her

I also don't have a WxS Miku for a reason, I was gonna combine her with the n25 Miku. Like have her have WxS Miku's speech patterns

Playhouse Collective:

Kohane takes her photography a bit more seriously but always ends up sending photos of things for Ena to draw because she thinks they look neat. But also, let's face it, Kohane and Minori are both more mentally stable than the other two. Rui and Ena won't know what hit them

It's also become a game of hide-n-seek between Rui and the Miya girls to see who can find the drones he sends after them first. The goal to get them before a teacher does

[pissdrinkerpiko]

How I found out I'm Utatane Piko kin

Ok guys I think it would be nice to explain how I found this out

I know it's surprising but I'm a new vocaloid (like I'm a fan for only 2 years), of course I already liked vocaloid songs before but I only knew about the cryptonloids + Gumi

So when I saw Project Sekai for the first time I was like "OMG HATSUNE MIKU???" and immediately downloaded it, and tbh I never really liked the proseka OC's so I just kept playing for the songs-

I used to watch a lot of project Sekai content on TikTok, and eventually I found out the vocaloid fandom on TikTok

I someone posted a vocaloid tier list and I tried to analyze it even though I didn't know 95% of the vocaloids at the time, when I saw me (Piko) there my brain immediately went NEURON ACTIVATION and I did everything to find who that vocaloid was

When I found it I probably entered the biggest hyperfixation on a character I ever had, to the point I could draw me 30 times a day and not get tired, and I was like that for MONTHS

I would constantly think that I could buy a Piko cosplay and dress it literally everyday

I also found out the DR (desired reality) community and tried to shift to a reality where I was Piko and lived in the vocaloid world literally everyday (I never succeeded btw) because that would make me happier than in the current reality

I literally refused to listen any song that didn't have a piko cover

That was also the time I changed my online nickname to Piko

Somehow it took longer than expected for me to find out I'm fictionkin, because I already knew what fictionkin was for years already

When I thought about that possibility, my brain automatically went "OH" and I realized

And I guess I was right because the hyperfixation fade out for a year already and I still feel the same way

THAT'S IT

[gotta-pet-em-all]

Hiya! Your intro says you like media analysis so I was wondering - watched/read/listened to/etc anything good lately? And/or got any recommendations? (OOC: this is freeform, answer it however floats your boat! Or if it doesn't float your boat, absolutely no worries, you can delete it! /gen)

Ough, that's a good one!

Since the delcatty's out of the bag, I guess I can be more open about how Plasma affected me. Since I was taken in so young, I didn't have much opportunity to learn how to think for myself, and I struggled with bodily awareness and identifying my own emotions. But... stories helped me realize how to feel again. I would use warrior skitty comparisons to try and contextualize my own feelings at first, but it wasn't enough.

Media analysis started as a project my therapist gave me, since I was getting frustrated with my inability to identify my own emotions, and our sessions were sort of hitting a plateau. Which is to say, they asked me how my day was, I yelled that I didn't know and started crying, and I'd spend the rest of the session on the couch snuggling my therapist's vulpix. (Baby Fluff was not very emotionally stable lol)

So I started looking for stories. I got a bit into vocaloid-- a couple favorites of mine are the medical anomaly, rolling girl, irony, yellow, and good kid medicine. It gave me words for what I was feeling, proof I wasn't the only one to feel these things. Suddenly I wasn't alone, I wasn't crazy or exaggerating, I had songs that spoke to me. Someone else out there knew what I was feeling and said it better than I could.

Hatsune Miku got me through some rough times, y'know? And the warrior skitty AMVs-- gods, that made up the rest of my music taste. I was never very good at art, except maybe in trying to copy the anatomy drawings because I was bored, but there were incredibly talented people out there. They told brand new stories, or put a twist on existing ones. I never knew there were so many stories out there!

And then there was anime. I couldn't handle anything with fanservice-- bear in mind at that point, I hadn't yet had The Talk, I just knew it made me uncomfortable. So I mostly watched kid's shows, and there was one magical girl show that looked cute.

It was, ah. Madoka Magica, if you're familiar with it. But the grief and hopelessness, the way the girls try to cope with pain and being fundamentally unsuited for something, the loneliness... and later, it's revealed that one character, who actually looked a lot like me before I cut my hair, had a heart condition and low self-esteem. She felt useless, she...destroyed herself for a chance to save someone who was kind to her. And then the bittersweet ending-- that the world can have love and hope even if it sucks. It made me think... maybe it was okay for me to live. It gave me a lot to think about, and holds a special place in my heart to this day.

I started making progress in therapy again. I'd walk in and say something like, "I think Mami Tomoe probably has a lot of guilt because she survived and her parents didn't" and somehow the conversation would turn to the fact that I wasn't taking painkillers like I was supposed to. And maybe it was because I felt like I didn't deserve it.

Just the weak herbal stuff back then, mind you, because ibuprofen scared the shit out of me, but... sometimes I would talk about a character and realize I was seeing myself through them, talking about myself through them, and I finally had a voice. They gave me a voice. So I want to help their stories be understood in return.