#first thing i do that’s solely bc it make ME happy
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eros-legacy · 4 months ago
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being a lesbian is perhaps the most selfish thing i’ve ever done
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sleepyagent · 2 months ago
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Fuck, only imagining kissing you still makes my heart jump a bit🤡
#delete later#clown#mine#feelings#her#i keep imagining you w sb else to prepare myself from the inevitable days but all im doing is borrowing grief from tmr which isnt#really helpful and i instead should be happy for n with her annieway#she deserves the world and be treated best#what a cliché thing to say but i get that it can still be true because why is it that things that r too sweet r deemed fake#im just quite sappy and i dont really say things i dont mean#ik i will love you for as long as i live even if it eventually transforms into a different kinda love#it will persist in a different form bc that just seems to be the kinda person i am or how love is for me#id keep caring and id keep wanting the best for you#parts of each person i came to love remain as parts of me annieway#i can never truly lose them nor can they#omfg lol crying while having covid just makes me feel like im choking or drowning tf my nose holes r completely blocked whats this lmao#kinda funny feeling tbh#sorry for being the odd one out of the two of us im already trying to make sure that nearly all i do is solely out of platonic feelings#so our friendship isnt “tainted” or driven by my inferior intentions or whatever but can stand on its own#which is as important to me as ppl not abandoning friends for a romantic relationship#or that ppl i come to fancy or could fancy value me enough as a friend first#im rambling#how long till it isnt this kinda love anymore#how long till i can be happy with and for her when she finds sb is everything she wants or needs and who treats her the way she deserves#sounds patronising of me tbh#idealising even#also have to keep reminding myself: this is just any other flirting with friends nothing to it any other flirting w friends with no intent#cuz i do value her as a friend as well#am i playing myself
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lowkeyrobin · 1 month ago
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Readerxfive where the reader gets their tongue split? (You know when it looks like a snake tongue because it's forked) his and family's reactions. Pls and thanks.
ooo okay okay ; also btw I just did this as a preference cause I could do a whole oneshot on this & it just kinda worked out better that way, hopefully that's okay! (these can be taken as platonic or romantic unless i made some kissing jokes lmao) ; I also do not know much about this so sorry if anything is wrong / incorrect ; thanks for requesting, hope you enjoy! ; also some are missing bc I don't rlly know how to write for them yet I apologize :((
TUA ; tongue split
includes ; diego, klaus, five, umbrella! ben, viktor, sparrow! ben, fei, & jayme
warnings ; language, mouth stuff / talk idk
disclaimers ; when I use the /p or /r it can be interpreted as platonic or romantic, romantic as yk cute in a romantic way or platonic in a "awe my sibling / friend is so happy" way
masterlist
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DIEGO
"eugh wtf..."
he switches up rlly quick tho
"that's actually really cool"
he's so interested by it / wants to know everything about it
begs you to do weird tricks with your tongue since you kinda have two (in his eyes) now
"yknow I could've done that for you for free"
"and if you did it wouldn't have even been sterile. you haven't cleaned those knives practically ever."
KLAUS
"ooouuuu look at you, snake child!"
he's obv into alt fashion (kinda) / non gender conformity so he loves having a friend / sibling / lover who's super cool like him!
if you hold things in your mouth with it (somehow) he's watching
kinda grossed out but so intrigued by it
like it's not everyday you see someone with a split tongue yk?
"how did you not die doing that? you couldn't make me do that blacked out"
FIVE
silently looks at you like 😐😬😐😟
"what the hell? are you okay???"
even if you've been talking about wanting to get your tongue split for a long time, he's convinced you got it against your will
after realizing this was solely your choice of how you wanted to express yourself, his expression morphs to more of a 🤨😊🥰
he doesn't really understand alt fashion / body modifications but he's obviously supportive, as long as you're happy
he usually catches you rubbing your tongue over your teeth on both sides since the inside of your cheeks move some
"fun, huh?"
"yeah, it's cool"
UMBRELLA! BEN
thinks it's so cool since he never really got to do crazy teenager things when he was alive
he likes seeing you able to express yourself the way you like because you're your own person
lowkey proud of you for doing it since he knew you'd been wanting to for a while but you had to get the guts for it first
honestly kinda concerned that it hurts a lot or something cause for a while you can't stop messing around with your tongue
but it's more like loosing a tooth, you're okay 💪
VIKTOR
again, super supportive and thinks it's really cool
he loves seeing you express yourself the way you want too, it's really sweet
loves watching you move your tongue around in all different ways and shit lmao
"wait- do it again"
THAT LITTLE CHUCKLE.
for the vik lovers /romantic ->
"wait, what's it gonna be like to kiss you?"
"you wanna find out???"
"...yeah"
SPARROW! BEN
like Diego, repulsed for a moment
lowkey didn't realize what was happening for a second LMFAO
"oh wait, that's cool"
asks you a few questions and life returns to normal
but he finds you toying with the split tongue a lot pretty cute /platonic or /romantic
like you're so happy about it and he's just like 😊
FEI
"oo, that's nice. any aftercare you need to take care of? ill help you. you need some Tylenol?"
so nice lmfao
she finds it so interesting
she asks a handful of questions
also finds the messing around with your new tongue pretty cute /platonic or /romantic
she's just happy that you're happy man
lowkey wonders how different it is for you now, just in general lmao
JAYME
you're alike now kinda omg 🗣🗣
she's got snake venom, you got a snake tongue
she finds it so rad
little fistbump when she first sees "haha, nice dude!"
so obsessed with watching you do little tricks and move your tongue around
lowkey the cool older sister (or wise friend or lover) who encourages you to follow your little alt dreams because she kinda can't with being stuck to the academy
damn you reggie with that dress code...
she absolutely loves it tho
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fleurriee · 1 year ago
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FLEURR CAN YOU DO
“you make me want to be better. you make me want to be good.” - grumpy
“i knew there was a big softie under all that tough exterior” - sunshine
with neteyam? i live for ur work
i didn’t know whether you wanted neteyam to be grumpy or sunshine, so i’ve gone with grumpy bc sometimes he just looks like a grumpy cat 😩 tysm for the request, im glad you’re enjoying my work anonie!!! 2k drabbles!
pairing ; neteyam x fem!reader
synopsis ; you were all sunshine and rainbows, and neteyam couldn’t help but feel like he was a thunderstorm threatening your happiness.
themes ; fluff, slight angst, grumpy!neteyam x sunshine!reader
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Neteyam was a hardened warrior - the entire clan knew that. He’d grown up with the tough training of his father, day in and day out doing drills and archery and gun work until it bled him dry. At first, he remembered thinking that it truly was going to be the death of him, but as the time went by, and he went through more sessions, going up higher in the ranks until he finally became respected by his elders, he grew to somewhat enjoy it.
And, whilst that should be considered a good thing - because their clan would always be needing more warriors like their prince - it slowly started to change him. His true personality never changed, but whenever he was in public, surrounded by others, he kept up this tough exterior that allowed others to realise that they shouldn’t mess with him. He wasn’t entirely sure why he’d decided on doing it in the first place, maybe it was just something that happened naturally - but all the same, he couldn’t stop doing it now.
There were times where his tough exterior came in handy, too. People never bothered him nearly as much as they used to, too scared to try and spark up a conversation just in case he’d bite back and send them off to do intense, exhausting training; whenever Lo’ak got in trouble and ended up starting fights with others, all he really had to do was show up and glare them down, and they’d go scurrying off.
He basked in that kind of attention, but not when it came to you.
You and Neteyam weren’t mates, but you weren’t far off - Neteyam would make sure of it. The two of you had been seeing one another for a little while now, after having met through his youngest sister, Tuk, after he’d picked her up from one of your lessons. As soon as his eyes lay upon you, he’d fallen, completely smitten and head over heels for you. Right then and there, he knew there was no one else even in the line up for him.
At first, it was hard for him to truly get across how he’d felt about you. You were all sunshine and rainbows, smiling giddily and greeting everyone you came across, whereas he felt like a black cloud, destined to ruin your mood.
But, somehow, you’d managed to fall for him, too, and he never ended up thundering down on you - instead, he only seemed to make you shine more.
Not many people knew of your relationship - his family knew, instantly noticing a subtle crack in that harsh exterior of his, more so whenever you were nearby, and your family, too. Neither of the lot had any objections, thankfully, and they let you be yourselves in your own time.
More often than not, the two of you would find yourselves running off, away from the growing crowd and into an expanse of the forest that was so much more calmer, much more serene. It gave peace to his mind, able to block all the other raging thoughts within his head and just focus solely on you.
That was all he ever wanted to do.
Now, as the the moons started to show, shining down upon your resting figures, and the wind cascaded against everything around you, kissing a gentle breeze across your skin therapeutically, you lay your head comfortably against Neteyam’s legs. His hand was coursing softly through your hair, massaging your head every now and again until you felt like you were just moments away from sleep.
“I’m sorry,” he spoke up for the first time in a while. His voice was just a mere, quiet whisper, barely audible if you hadn’t been listening to your surroundings.
Opening your eyes, you noticed how he seemed to be struggling to look at you, focusing on anything else that he could. His eyes were halfway closed, soft and saddened. It broke your heart to see him like that.
“What for?” you questioned, your own voice now slightly broken.
A deep sigh racked from the back of his throat, seemingly contemplating his next words, licking his lips before he spoke. Still, he wouldn’t look at you. “For not being able to give you everything you deserve.”
In an instant, you’re sitting up, moving your body around until you’re facing him. Your tail curls subconsciously around his leg, almost as though to comfort him without words. “What are you talking about?” you ask him, a breathy, unbelieving laugh falling from your lips. “You already give me enough, ‘teyam.”
Your soft words ring through his mind, echoing from one corner to the other until that’s all he can hear - because that’s all he needs to hear. To him, you’re absolutely everything, his everything. You deserve the entire world and more, but, sometimes, he can’t help but feel as though he isn’t giving you enough. So, hearing you say it started to bring him back to his senses - if he wasn’t, surely you would’ve left him by now, right?
A small smile starts to make its way onto his lips, the edges curving up just the tiniest fraction, something you wouldn’t have spotted if you weren’t intently admiring him. Shaking his head to himself, he sighs breathily. “It’s just…” he tries, struggling for the truth in the words he wants to scream out loud. He was never good at this, but he’d try for you. “You make me want to be better. You make me want to be good.”
With a sympathetic smile upon your lips, tilting your head to the side admiringly, you tut at him. “‘Teyam, you are good. You’re the best you can be - I love you just the way you are.”
Surprise courses across all his features, all his senses, until he’s sure there’s never been anything else he’s ever focused on in his entire life. His eyes widen, ears standing high and tail flicking wildly behind him, like it has a mind of its own.
I love you just the way you are.
For a moment, you don’t even realise what you’d just said to him, too caught up in the moment of reassuring him to fully comprehend anything else. But, after a few seconds past and he doesn’t say anything, just continues on staring, you repeat your own words in your head.
I love you just the way you are.
I love you.
You and Neteyam had never said those three words before - and you definitely hadn’t said I see you - because you were still in the fairly early stages of your relationship. However, that didn’t mean to say that you didn’t still love him - you just thought it was too early to actually say them out loud.
For the longest time, you knew for certain you’d felt this way. How could you not - he was Neteyam Sully, the mighty warrior and future Olo’eyktan. You knew you’d always love him, no matter what, but you hadn’t exactly planned for him to find out in such a way.
Mouth open agape, reading for some form of explanation to come his way, you never got to fumble for an excuse. No - Neteyam wouldn’t let you. Instead, he’d eventually come out of his shocked reverie, placing his hands delicately on the sides of your face and pressing one of the most gentle kisses upon your lips, immediately swallowing your words.
Warmth tingled down your spine, accompanied by chills, basking in the affection he was radiating. Your eyes fluttered closed as he pressed his lips against your own, but it didn’t last long.
Too quickly, Neteyam pulled away, smile brighter and eyes shinier than you’d ever seen them. “I love you, too, sevin (pretty).”
Cheeks darkening at his same admittance, a giddy laugh escaped from your lips in pure bliss. This was Neteyam Sully - one of the scariest, most intimidating Na’vi within the Omatikaya clan - and, here he was, confessing his love for little, old you.
As you gazed at one another lovingly, neither of you quite being able to believe the situation you’d found yourselves in, you send him a teasing smirk. “I knew there was a big softie under all that tough exterior.”
He rolls his eyes at you, pushing away playfully as he listens to your beautiful laugh. There was nowhere else he’d rather be in this moment, he’d decided, and he slowly started to learn that he didn’t care if others saw him like this. If it made you happy, he’d do anything.
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animeomegas · 2 years ago
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Imagine the naruto boy's alpha going on anaesthesia for whatever reason (e.g. a dentist appointment or for an injury) and then they wake up from it and see their mate beside them and goes "damn can I date you?" bc they're still high from the drug and have no idea who their mate is😂
You blearily blinked at the room comprised almost solely of a dazzling and blinding white. Automatically, you squinted and turned your attention to the thing, no, person, sitting next to you, thankfully not wearing white, to give your eyes a reprieve.
All thoughts about where you were or why you felt weird flew out of your head as you really looked at the mysterious person. He was the most stunning person you'd ever seen.
"Wooooow," you said, trying to sit up. Your voice sounded different to how you remembered... Oh well.
The mysterious man's hands shot out to support you. He was touching you. This angel of a man was touching you! It was clearly your lucky day!
"Careful," he said. Even his voice was attractive, how unfair was that? "The mednin said not to rush trying to stand."
"You... are the most sexy person I've ever seen," you said honestly, trying to maintain eye contact with the man. It was hard because your eyes kept slipping. "Are you single?"
...
Naruto:
The man immediately burst into peals of laughter. He was howling so hard he almost slipped off his chair.
"Am I single?!" he repeated in between gasping breaths and cackling laughs.
You huffed. How rude. It was only a question!
Chouji:
"No, I'm not single," the main said softly, cupping your face gently. You whined at the thought of the beautiful stranger slipping from your grasp.
"None of that," he said, bopping you gently on the nose. "I'm not single because I'm married to you."
It took your brain a few minutes to process his words, but when you did, a big dopey smile lit up on your face. You were married to this man!!!
"Wooooooow!!!" you said again. "Does that mean I can kiss you?"
"When you're mouth is all healed, you can kiss me as much as you want."
Shikamaru:
The man stood abruptly, making you jump.
"Botan!" the man shouted, startling you once more. A second man walked briskly into the room.
"Nara sama? You called?" the second man asked.
"They don't remember me," the first man hissed, his scent becoming distressed. You felt an urge to comfort him, but your legs didn't want to cooperate and you couldn't get to him. "What happened to them? I thought you were just taking teeth out?!"
The second man held up his hands in a placating gesture.
"Confusion is very common after the kind of medication, Nara sama," the man sounded nervous. Why was he nervous? "Give them a few hours and they will be much more coherent."
Your brain was too fuzzy to make out what they were talking about. Why were the two men here again?
"Ohhh, I get it," you said suddenly, the pieces clicking together. Both of the men turned to look at you. "This man is your mate and I have to fight him if I want to date you, yes?"
Both of the men blinked at you, but you just nodded to yourself. That made perfect sense.
"I will win," you solemnly promised the second man. "You obviously don't treat him right, and I can't ever forgive such a crime."
Kiba:
"Yes," the man grinned, leaning closer to you. "Totally single."
"Best news I've heard all day," you slurred, leaning in too, until your noses were bumping.
"Yeah?" the man asked. "If you wanna date me you have to say why you think I'm the sexiest person ever."
"Pfft, that's easy," you said, happy to hear that was all you had to do. "I think your arms are so sexy, like... like powerful snakes but sexy, y'know? And then your face, why is part of it red? Mysterious... Sexy people are always a bit mysterious, so there's stuff to talk about after sex, that's how it works."
"Oh? What makes you think I'll have sex with you?" the man asked, but he sounded like he was having fun. Good, that meant you had a shot.
"What if I said please?"
Kakashi:
"Hmm, I might be," the man said, turning the page of a book you couldn't make out the title of. How could he be so sexy with most of his face covered? Also, how did he sneeze with the mask on? Unless...
"You should date me," you said confidently. "People must discriminate against you because you don't have a nose, but I love you anyway. I still think you're hot."
"Ah," the man turned he full attention onto you, the book lowering. "What?"
"It's okay, I'll keep your nose secret," you whispered, patting him on the thigh. Oh, and his thighs were glorious. You gave one a quick squeeze. Yes, very nice. "I'll also let you sit on my f-"
"Okay! You should try and get some rest," the man interrupted you, pushing you back against the bed. The little bit of his face that you could see was now turning red. Was this man sick?
"You're too pretty to be sick," you mumbled, already drifting back to sleep. The last thing you heard was a little strangled choking noise.
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loving-august · 2 years ago
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๑𓈒 ' . 𑇛 I'D STILL CHOOSE YOU.
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PAIRINGS. diluc ragnvindr x fem! reader
SYNOPSIS. in which diluc notices your worries about the people around you.
GENRE. angst to fluff hurt/comfort
WC. 1.05k!!
WARNINGS. none, slight profanity, insecurity, gossips, bodyshaming
NOTES. hello! this fic will be new expansion to my fandoms hehe I hope you guys will like it just as much I enjoyed writing this fic. blame diluc bc of him I made a decision to create for genshin characters smh /j + reblogs are highly appreciated!
LINKS. navigaion | genshin impact masterlist | taglist form
๑𓈒 ' . 𑇛 REBLOGS ARE HIGHLY APPRECIATED!
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Being the richest bachelor in mondstat, Diluc is expected to do what nobles do. The way he greets, acts, and accomplishes every job perfectly. He received a vision at the age of 10 and became the youngest captain in the knights of favonius at the age of 14. Of course, he is now just a mere businessman taking care of the winery in the morning or protecting the entire mondstat at night time. His past is yet to be told.
Rich parents of noble women across nations often visit him in hopes to have their daughter as the groom. Yet, he refuses to tell them as he tells them that he has no sole interest in having a relationship with any women. Or so he thought.
You happened to see him in his dark knight duties one fateful evening. You were ambushed by hillichurls while you were on your way to the outskirts of mondstat, your home. You came out from work a bit too late than usual.
You accidentally punched him as you thought it was some treasure hoarder coming at you. You apologised so sincerely that it wasn't some bad guy.
"Master diluc?" You asked.
Shit. He cursed himself.
"Than-"
"Don't say a word about this." He sternly said. And you did.
You scratched your neck awkwardly, "I will. Thank you again!" You walked away from him. To be honest he was scary earlier, barbatos how could this happen to me?
Little did you both know, a certain bard was witnessing the scene. A playful smirk grew into his face. "Huh, may the wind guide each other." He whispered. It's a rare scene to see Diluc in this kind of situation. Maybe the dear archon barbatos, also known as venti would be part of playing cupid.
A time has passed since your first encounter with Diluc, Venti's cupid duties came into reality. He was very happy for you and Diluc and he even played a small tune for the two of you. As much as Diluc appreciated the gesture, he would not change the way he treats venti in his tavern due to his wine addiction. As well as Kaeya, the wonder duo never fails to give Diluc a headache.
Soon enough, you opened your eyes to the noble world. There is a lot of catching up to do. All the stereotypes were shown on to you, the mannerisms on talking, acting, and greetings to fellow nobles. It was hard. As someone like you had no experience on such acts.
You found yourself in your shared rooms with your lover. With your eyes all puffy and red due to crying. You couldn't take it anymore.
"How can Master Diluc find someone so…common.."
"I expected him to choose a noblewoman from liyue."
The voices of other people in mondstat broke your heart. To hear such a thing about Diluc, you felt responsible. Instead of making him happy by his side, you could only be giving him a bad name by just existing beside him.
It felt so wrong.
What you didn’t was that you fell asleep on the vanity where you cried yourself with dried tears on your cheeks.
Diluc just recently returned home from his darknight duties. You were completely aware of his schedule as if its the back of your palm. Why would you know all about it? Of course diluc would tell you things about him, he’s that devoted to you. Adeline, the head maid of the manor, greeted the master of the manor. “Good evening Master Diluc.”
“Good evening to you too,” Diluc greeted back.
He went straight to your shared rooms, not giving any mind of eating for tonight. He was busy eliminating abyss mages around mondstat. When he opened the door, first he saw you sleeping uncomfortably on the vanity table. He immediately removed his coat and placed it on some chair and carried you carefully. Making sure that you were not awake. How long have you been asleep? Your neck is probably sore because of the restricted sleeping position you were in.
He sighed as he saw you still in your morning clothes. He can’t imagine wearing all the heavy clothing from daylight to night time. That's why you've woken up? "Did I wake you up darling?" He asked.
you got up and he followed. "No, you didn't. I just felt my position changed." You groggily replied while rubbing your eyes.
Diluc was observing you. He noticed that you were secretly wiping off the direct tears on your face while pretending to rub your eyes after you had just woken up from a long slumber.
He was worried. Maybe he has been busy lately since he has a wine business to attend to. Not only the wine business but also his secret duties at night time at mondstat. The abyss order has been showing up lately.
"y/n, can I ask you a question?" He started. You looked at your hands, not looking at his worried eyes laid upon you. "uh, sure. What are you trying to ask?" You replied.
Something is not sitting right. The way you said it was as if you changed your sentence and the way you speak. this is not the y/n he used to talk to. A hint of guilt punched at diluc. He HAS been busy. He should reschedule his time for you after this. He felt accountable for your well-being, since he was the one who asked you to live with him and as his lover, it is his duty to take care of you.
"Is something bothering you lately?" He asked. There, he asked for it. Although he expects you to lie to him. You can't lie to him after all.
"No, nothing's wrong dearest, I'm just tired..that's all," you answered and gave him a small smile.
Diluc uses his thumb to wipe off rye excess tears from your face, "No you're not. It breaks my heart whenever you lie to me. Tell me the truth my love, whatever you say is valid, after all it made you feel this way," He slowly opened his arms for you to be able to rest on his chest while wrapping his arms around you, "if you feel like I'm slipping away from you, don't worry."
"I'd still choose you."
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© 2022 loving-august. All Rights Reserved. Do not repost. Do not plagiarize. Do not share on other platforms. Will get slapped if u do.
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corvidae-00 · 10 months ago
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Tsudere /sub touch starved Jax in heat that pretends to hate the reader but does things to secretly be with them x a fem happy but smart Uzadere that loves being in the circus.She loves adventures,animals,cute things,fighting,food ect! lots of energy too but can be pretty insensitive and a little selfish with a little crush on jax. I feel like at first jax would completely reject liking her then he would be extra mean,then Maybe subconsciously know he likes her amd hates the feeling lol. cus he copes by trying to not have feelings and tries to act "tough". its pretty obvious that the reader is in love with him but his dumb ass cant catch on . She gives lots of compliments which makes him flustered and mad ( he is mad bc he thinks nobody likes him that much, he is mean to her to make her go away but it doesn't work ) but he pretends not to care. the reader would definitely confesses first tho. Sorry for such a long request its just that not many people write jax in this sorta way so i had to be detailed lol. also if you don't wanna use female pronouns you can make it non gender ofc 😅tysm for even reading such a long thing! and you don't have to do this at all lr you can switch it up. Anything is VERY appreciated tho😊 also i feel like max would be a massive virgin due to how annoying he is...he definitely a horny bitchless rabbit-
AHHHH! MY FIRST ASK ;0; Thank you!!! And i personally LOvE Jax- like its an issue 0-0 but im so happy to write for him first! your request is amazing and i truly love it! i hope i did it justice!!! i hope you dont mind HCs! if you did want a story just hit me back up in the answer box and ill write a lil something for ya! ;)
MDNI BELOW THE CUT+ Warnings: Smutty smut themes, bottom Jax <3- Cussing, swearing, the norm
The Reader definitely brought light to the Circus, when she first appeared she was the TALK OF THE TENT, everyone was happy to finally have someone around to liven up the place- > besides jax- the little shit made it his sole duty to make sure Reader was the punchline of his jokes or somehow always "in his way" and the Reader often got the butt of the assult. > Jax being Jax when the feelings for reader started to arise- he got scared- a little worried- upset even. More at himself than you but still pretty pissy- this just made the tourment wose oh lord- > Reader found this fun, more ways to annoy and poke and proad at Jax, finding his constant target on the Reader absolutely hilarious > Reader always calling the oblivious rabbit pet names!!! *Toots, Fluff butt, Shnookums (Only because it pissed Jax off and everyone would laugh), babes, Etc Etc, > Jax STILL oblivious to the reader ;0; taking it as her teasing him and pushing him and oh no we cant have that!!!! Jax haaates it. Secretly likes it HATES IT- >Despite the tension between the two Jax would often threaten Caine or sneak the other circus members things of value to be around reader. not knowing why- HE IS MADLY IN LOOOVE he wanted to be around Reader!! SMUT >Jax in heat is something i dont think even he saw coming- like they are digital code- BUT DAMN- > Stuck in his room alone humping a pillow and pulling his ears over his face embarrassed beyond belief at his own actions > Reader was coming to annoy Jax concerned why she didnt see him at breakfast (His favorite meal of the day may i add- >Knocking on his door reader had a shit eating grin "Sleeping in pookie?" She calls through the door only a groan and a loud huff was the response she got >Thats rude. Reader thinks and just assuming he is having one of his man period days- Reader enters his room- and boy is the sight she sees amazing- Jax face down and ass up with a pillow under his hips, face flushed a deep purple and his overalls down to his waist- > Reader and Jax are just staring at eachother with wide eyes >"G-GET OUT!!" "Nah i dont think i will" >Lets just say reader helps the little bunny get the relief he was so looking for- >They dont argue as much anymore-
----------------------------------------------------- THANK YOU FOR READING!!! I hope you enjoyed your request and it was too your liking! im still getting back into writing so its a slow process!! let me know what you think!!! thank you so much!!! <3333
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lovemyromance · 3 months ago
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Antis: Elriel can't be endgame because SJM always gaslights us and tries to make us think a couple is endgame when they're not!!
Okay... so ... is any couple safe then? Is Feysand safe? Is Nessian safe? Who's to say Rowaelin will not break up some day? Who's to say Bryce won't leave Hunt for some random character that hasn't been introduced yet in CC4?
SJM is not writing these couples for the sole purpose of trying to gaslight her readers. Not to mention - ACOTAR IS NOT TOG OR CC.
SJM has said multiple times, the spinoffs will feature dual POV and ONE couple.
Please tell me how we go from Elain ignoring Lucien, to getting with Azriel, to leaving Azriel, and falling in love and accepting the mating bond with Lucien all in one book.
Please explain how we go from Azriel pining after Elain, getting angry over Rhys forbidding him away from her, to ignoring Elain and falling for Gwyn, discovering Gwyn is his mate (lol), and accepting the mating bond with her?
Just... use your brains for once, my friends. The excuses for why Elriel can't be endgame are laughable at best, and downright misogynistic at worst. Like are you really telling me:
Elriel can't be together because his shadows don't like her and they disappear - even though his shadows disappear around the entire IC whenever he's happy or comfortable? Even though they tell him when she's safe and sound in bed and help him put the necklace on her
Elriel can't be together because Elain will always feel a tug to Lucien - yeah we know the mating bond feels like a tug, Elain has done a pretty good job of ignoring it thus far though, and it hasn't even been broken yet. It hasn't stopped her from trying to kiss Azriel in the hallway?
Elriel can't be together because SJM never pairs them with their first love interest - great! Because neither Elain or Azriel are each others first loves.
Elriel can't be together because Lucien deserves a happy ending - great! Good thing he has Vassa
Elriel can't be together because Gwyn will be sad - Gwyn could be the priestess at their wedding and she would not shed a single tear because she doesn't want Azriel and nothing she has done shows she is romantically interested in him whatsoever
Elriel can't be together because she's miserable in the NC - No she is not. And if she wants to leave, nobody is stopping her. And if I say Azriel will follow her to the ends of the earth, then?? Next.
Elriel can't be together bc she doesn't have an Illyrian pelvis - Adoption exists, ask SJM (adopted herself). Also, your misogyny is showing.
Elriel can't be together because Elain is scared of Azriel's darkness - I'm sorry, has she whispered those words only in your ears? Because nothing in canon suggests that she can't handle his darkness. She stabbed the king of Hybern - she's fine
Elriel can't be together because she is secretly pining after Lucien - brother where?? Also, she has a very interesting way of showing secret pining by getting Nawsty in the corridor with the spymaster instead of her mate
Elriel can't be together bc SJM is a fated mates author - Okay, and if I say the Elucien mating bond is fake and Azriel & Elain are true mates? Then what? Because SJM faked a mating bond with Rowan before - don't see why she couldn't do that again with Lucien & Elain to keep him away from breaking Vassa's curse. If she can do the switching up love interest plot twist this many times, she can definitely do the fake mating bond switch up too. Give me a single reason why not?
Elriel is not suited for each other but Lucien and Elain's personalities are perfect - brother where?? Again?? Because they don't even talk so how do you know they'd even get along?
Elriel can't get together because with Elucien and Gwynriel we'd get 2 stories - this is by far the stupidest excuse but I'd like to counter by saying Elriel + Vassien. There you go. Trade you one redhead for another. Now what?
Elriel can't get together because Elain needs sunlight - she said that once. When she was confused about her visions. She sat in the window once. When she was still confused about her visions.
Elriel can't get together because -
Y'all better just come right out and admit you don't like Elriel because you like Lucien better than Azriel or you like Gwyn better than Elain - because otherwise it is getting downright embarrassing reading your theories.
It's one thing to just not like a couple - that's your right and full send, nobody's stopping you.
It's another to fully claim Elriels are delusional for thinking a couple that is currently obsessed with each other is not going to be endgame. It's another thing to use out of context canon text to support your PREFERENCE. It's another thing to claim we use Elain as a self-insert because we "want Azriel smut".
Like tf? If we wanted Azriel smut we wouldn't care who he ended up with. If it were up to my personal preferences - I'd actually want Elain with Eris because I think that would be way more interesting than both Azriel AND Lucien. If I thought Elain was a self-insert for myself, I'd keep her with Lucien because Lucien book 1 is still my favorite.
So don't come around here and tell me Elriels are delusional for reading what is printed on the page.
It's not surface level reading if we look at a "Pool is 2FT deep" sign and believe it. We have NO reason to believe otherwise.
If you choose to doubt the words written on the sign -and dive in headfirst - that's your prerogative but something tells me you won't enjoy the results 🤷🏻‍♀️
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uriekukistan · 3 months ago
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hi i trust ur translations so i was wondering in 266 the first panel which is more accurate for what fushiguro says? “that's enough” or “you've done enough” ?
hi omg first of all thank you 🙏 actually i'm really glad to talk abt this bc it's such an interesting line. it's a very tricky translation honestly (megumi said the same thing in 251 and there were like 5 translations...), so this will be a bit long.
he says it twice in the chapter, but the meaning shifts due to context & a grammar structure that doesn't exist in english, even though he says the same thing. i'll put my translation first, and the explanation after bc idk who wants to read all that 😭
on page 1: "That's enough." on page 2: "But I've had enough."
also i HATE the "you've done enough" translation. i'll explain why in the rest of the post, but essentially, the focus of the sentence is megumi's feelings, not anything yuuji is doing...also the verb "to do" isn't even present here so,,,,,idk maybe that's just me.
basically what megumi says in japanese (もういいんだ), word for word translates something like "it's/i'm good already" or "it's/i'm good enough" (japanese omits pronouns often, so it's/i'm is up to context).
the thing that makes this translation tricky is the particle ん. it can be used for a few things, but in this case, it places an emphasis on how the speaker is feeling, which leaves the phrase up to interpretation a bit more, since it could be expressing a lot of different emotions. for megumi, i'd say it's defeat/resignation.
that's why there's so many discrepancies in translations, because translators are trying to find a way to carry that contextual emotion over into a language that isn't built to hold it. word for word translation here doesn't really do the phrase justice. it sounds very detached in english, comparatively
like megumi said the same phrase in 251, and it was translated several ways, but because of the very personal nature of the particle ん, i prefer "i've had enough," as a translation for this because it centers megumi and his feelings of defeat.
at the beginning of 266, i can see "that's enough," as a good translation because he's addressing yuuji directly and telling him that he can stop, basically. again, it's still very personal, so i don't really understand the "you've done enough" translation. the original sentence honestly doesn't have anything to do with yuuji. it's solely about megumi's feelings.
the second time, he actually says でも、もういいんだ (でも means "but" or "however" - not sure why it wasn't in the official translation 😀). the context has shifted to him talking about what he wants and what would make him happy, and the conjunction links the phrases together in contrast (then i'd be happy, but...), so personally, i'd go back to "but i've had enough."
hoping i didn't yap to much or that this wasn't boring.....i think things like this are a really interesting feature of the japanese language, and one of my favorite parts about it sjfkgh. unfortunately, it does mean a lot of things get lost in translation, or at least the full weight does.
thank you for asking tho omg i've been DYING to talk about this specific phrase
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minuteminx · 2 years ago
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My biggest frustration as a Preston fan in the Fallout 4 fandom is not actually the people who make hate content (that’s annoying and awful but my block button is a pretty great balm for that); no, it’s actually the multitude of people who “would like him if…” “would have been more willing to spend time with him if…”
Call me crazy, but aside from the annoying radiant quest mechanic (which can be circumvented if you 1. Listen to Radio Freedom everyone once and a while, 2. Don’t do the quests you’re assigned bc you’ll only get a couple at a time before it stops, and 3. Make sure your settlements are in good shape. You have so much less to do if you settlements are taken care of on the front end. If they have a high enough defense and they’re under attack? THEY DEFEND THEMSELVES. Imagine that. Anyway) I actually LIKE how the game handles Preston and the MM.
Maybe it’s just me coming from Dragon Age fandom, where in the very first game, my fresh out-out-of-orientation Grey Warden is asked to take the lead by someone with more seniority because the more senior person is riddled with grief, survivor’s guilt, and insecurity that they’d be able to do a good job… sound familiar? Preston asks you to be the General because after everything he has been through, he’s not ready to fill that role. He can’t stomach the responsibility because he is afraid he’ll mess it up, that he’ll let people down.
But the thing is, he still does the General Stuff. He is the one organizing, communicating with settlements, strategizing, expanding, recruiting, giving orders, etcetera, etcetera. The sole who agrees to be the General is honestly just a figurehead for the settlers and a sounding board for Preston’s ideas. At the end of the day it is not the Sole Survivor who settlers run to, excited to thank them for all their help and make donations. It’s not the Sole Survivor who is viewed as the face of the MM. It’s Preston.
Do I wish the game came full circle and acknowledged that? Oh yeah I do, which is why I’m writing fanfic. I think that Preston deserved a personal quest where you retake Quincy from the Gunners and get revenge on Clint. I think the end of his story should be the Sole Survivor acknowledging that he’s been the General the entire time and bequeathing that title back to him now that he is recovering and ready for it. That’s really all I would have needed to feel like his story was complete.
As is, I enjoy traveling with Preston in game. He is refreshing. He has a lot of hopeful commentary about the Commonwealth, a lot of sarcasm and dry humor, and it’s great. He actually gives you less quests when he’s traveling with you as a companion, too.
His romance is lovely. It is the only one with some additional dialogue if you do the flirts, successfully initiate, then back out when he asks if you’re sure. He will come back later and say “listen, I know last time we talked, you said you weren’t ready to move on, but it’s been a while now and I still feel the same about you. I was wondering if you thought you might feel the same about me.” He also is genuinely so happy and excited to be with you. He gets a little more flirtatious. talking about MM regulations not covering your little situation (little eyebrow wiggle included). He calls you babe and tells you to be careful. It’s just as rich of a romance as literally any of the others.
I’m not sure where I’m going with this, but I’ve been seeing a number of new posts in this vein lately and I guess I wanted to add my thoughts. 😌
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alma-amentet · 3 months ago
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Why do you dislike the DLC main story so much?
Not to argue or something, just wondering after seeing you ranting in the tags.
I just don't like it. It didn't meet my expectations. In the end, yeah, it comes down to preferences... Though I agree on 'bad writing', and it's just good to know I'm not alone in this.
You know, I'd like it. After all, I knew what I was messing into and didn't expect a happy ending, Age of Abundance (though it was in cut content, so...) or something. It could've been a beautiful tragic story of Miquella loosing parts of himself as a last desperate attempt to fix things but failing.
There are good rewrites, this is one of my favorites
But there are major things that I'll never accept as canon.
Promised consort Retcon. Makes no sense. Bad writing, and I will really die on this hill. Bc no evidence of this in the base game and a weird idea in general. Also how drastically they ruined the battle of Aeonia. Like... really? This feels like fanservice/trollery (assuming fandom's past fights). Horseboy's story should have ended with the festival (for me it did).
'Mohg beating allegations' and all that evil charm thing. First of all, no way he did, he's still an evil bloody cultist. Secondly, him being charmed makes it actually more problematic in some ways. I liked him as a well-designed villain acting on his own and Formless Mother's behalf, the new reveals ruin his character for me. Third, there are known plotholes (like others not acting this way under the charm or why would he travel to the Haligtree and back - could've stayed there or something). In the end, I think it's Ansbach who's a real charmer, charming the fandom. Luckily I'm not into handsome old men, so not buying it. He's devoted to his lord, that's all, no matter how wise and reasonable he may seem (still devoted, mind you).
There are other new bits of lore that look more OK... Though they have plotholes and contradictions, too (questioning ideas of godhood and the Shattering itself - that's what I can remember).
Much's been said in general, not gonna repeat (you can find it in my older posts and reposts). I see people analyzing and rationalizing new lore, enjoying the DLC. Good for them. Even envious at some point. As for myself, no matter how I miss my prev happy times in the fandom, now I see not much sense in discussing it, finding deep meanings etc. Loved to watch lore vids, now I mostly can't even if I want to. Maybe rewatching my older fav ones, but not most new ones. Some content is just upsetting. I'll need it anyway for my own AU and headcanons, so hope I'll find strenght, but not now.
Again, It feels like a joke or trollery, and if the authors themselves treat it this way, why should I bother wasting my time/energy?
There are some other details that are still interesting (like Marika's backtory n stuff), yet again, could've been a beautiful tragic story... but oh.
I used to be in kids/tween fandoms, which were silly by default, neither deep meaning nor dark complex philosophy. Yet some of them were making even more sense in writing, while others were not given high expectations right from the start, that's it.
Not leaving the fandom bc it's not done so easily, will even do some fanarts (finally. hopefully). I think I'll dwell solely on AUs / fixes / rewrites and some visuals without much context. Also on things I liked before the DLC and things I still like (like Maliketh/Marika), and filtering unsettling content as much as I can. But yes, you'll see me venting and supporting other people's rants. Untill my passion fades naturally and switches to something else.
I'll pick up the base game back when I can (my current PC won't run it by any chance), but will notbe buying the DLC. At least, for now.
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stick-ball · 1 year ago
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What would make for easier life for Neil? Living on the run with his mother(canon) or staying in Nest for few years ?
Okay listen, im sorry, but Neil's level of woobification is the sole and only reason i cannot respond to this in depth without retching blood. The only way the girlies will get me is over my dead body. So, instead I offer you this:
To cite a classic, Neil is gonna be fine either way. The kind of spirit he has will prevail what life throws at him, he's got the nerve and sheer determination to limit his focus at will, to imitate and conquer. Both paths will be dark, but neither will be stronger than his spirit.
Because his true and sole horror is Nathan.
So, instead of crying over the delusional, sociopathic, murderous psycho (can you feel the love?) that is Neil Abram Josten, I want to consider what would change for others if he ended up at the Nest.
Andrew- that ship would probably never set sail, so there's that. I am not gonna go all teary eyed over this bcs the last thing I wish on Andrew is the Nest tbh.
Jean - would have a partner, he wouldn't be the cast aside to both the Ravens and the Sons of Exy at once. That would mean more nerve, less suicidal thoughts.
Kevin - is more likely to end up dead than with a broken hand but that's bcs he's not important to the plot anymore in this scenario. Alternative is if he ends up maimed and running to daddy he most likely ends up in a relationship with Andrew instead, but it does not last because they are eachother's destructive tendencies.
Riko - oh this is my favourite can of worms. Because of Neil's uncontrollable attitude problem and ultimate daddy issues Riko would have a someone to butt heads with instead of slap around. Think what that would do to him. Neil gets so much extra angst points for the fact he is a first born son. He's like an amplifier and balm to Riko's issues at once. Does that mean he has a chance to be better? Does it mean he is worse? Thats a game of russian roulette! I love even the odds end up in this scenario though!
Nathan and Mary - more likely than not Nathaniel ends up an orphan sooner rather than later. I would say more but I think your imagination will paint a similiar picture.
The Foxes - well, Seth is alive, I think that's a happy ending?
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gothcsz · 6 months ago
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𝑻𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒇𝒂𝒓𝒆 / Chapter VIIII.
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PAIRING: Javier Peña x Original Female Character
SUMMARY: After months of dancing around their emotions, Javier and Paloma finally address the tension between them head-on.
WORD COUNT: ~9.2k
RATING: 18+ Mature topics such as sex, drugs, murder, the occult, religion, cannibalism and other triggering matters will be explored in this body of work. Minors DNI.
CHAPTER SPECIFIC TAGS: smuttt, bulge riding, dry humping, protected p in v sex, dirty talk, javi being an asshole, angst, crime talk (if it's not accurate don't @ me), descriptions of violence against women, vomit mention, slut shaming(?), detective!javi is very gorgeous ME, other things that I'm probably forgetting.
DISCLAIMER/WARNINGS: The Javier Peña referenced in this body of work is solely based off of the character that appears in Netflix’s Narcos and not the actual person. Very canon divergent and I will tweak things as I see fit to compliment the narrative of this story. While efforts have been made to be accurate in terms of canon timeline, a lot of details will be fictionalized, including the usage of the song(s) that Paloma will perform throughout the story.
A/N: we did it… we did it joe !! javi and OFC finally [REDACTED] !! thank u to everyone who has been keepin up w this foolery so far, it makes my lil heart happy to see engagement < 3 also wanna say that years of watching criminal minds is finally starting to pay off and i rly hope u guys are enjoying the crime aspect of the plot because i'm havin A LOT of fun writing and developing it !! shit is gonna get twisted and intricate so brace yourselves for where we're about to go !!! the smut in this chapter is heavily inspired by touch it by ariana grande so i def recommend giving that a listen bc i feel like it just fits their vibe so well (i may or may not have used some of the lyrics in the dialogue.. oop!) last thing sooo irrelevant but mayor abbott looks like jonathan bailey (bridgerton hive RISE!!) in my head so take that as u will xoxo always feel free to drop any type of feedback/support on this blog or ao3. i'd really appreciate it <3
♰  read on ao3. ♰
♰  playlist | pinterest | series masterlist ♰
As the sun casts its golden rays over the quiet outskirts of town, a grim discovery awaits the two men. The body of Jessica Valdez, the young girl reported missing from their neighboring town, lies lifeless in a shallow ditch. Javier stands beside Sheriff Leighton, their expressions grave as they survey the scene before them.
Reporters and curious onlookers have gathered, drawn by the spectacle of flashing lights and the somber atmosphere. A small group of people whisper amongst themselves, their hushed tones mingling with the distant sound of camera shutters clicking.
Romeo’s authoritative presence looms beside him, a pillar of strength in the face of another tragedy. His eyes narrow as they push through the gathered crowd, commanding respect and order in the chaotic scene.
They duck beneath the yellow crime scene tape, ignoring the questions being hurled at them by the press.
“Are there any indications of a motive for this murder?” 
“Is this connected to the similar incidents in the area recently?”
“Is there anything the public can do to assist with the investigation?”
Javier’s stomach churns with sorrow as he takes in the sight. The body lies face down and sprawled in the dirt. He clenches his jaw, steeling himself against the wave of frustration threatening to overwhelm him.
Another failure on their behalf and all he can think about is the kiss shared between him and Paloma.
“Talk to us, Cecelia.” 
“Well, at first glance: the body is still fairly warm so she was alive a few hours ago. It looks like she was held captive somewhere due to the bruising on her wrists and ankles. There are signs of malnourishment and she has smaller injuries scattered throughout her body. I won’t know more details until I do the autopsy.” The coroner answers before continuing,” Her chest is completely slashed through, just like all the others. Still our guy. Or girl–– you never know nowadays.” 
Javier’s jaw flexes out of exasperation, mirroring the heavy sigh that escapes the sheriff’s lips. The weight of this repeated revelation settles over them like a suffocating blanket, casting a shadow over their efforts to uncover the truth.
Despite their tireless pursuit of justice, they find themselves no closer to catching the culprit or unraveling the mystery shrouding these towns. It’s fucking infuriating. 
Amidst the tangled threads of his personal life, Javier has momentarily lost sight of his purpose for being here. He has been too immersed in his own character transformation and entanglement with Paloma, overlooking the harrowing reality unfolding around him: innocent women continuing to fall victim to brutal, senseless violence.
The gravity of his oversight has a mixture of guilt and despair settling deep within his chest. 
Javier prides himself on his prowess, his ability to navigate the most intricate of cases and weather the toughest of storms. As a seasoned field agent with a string of accolades to his name (some undeserved, others very well deserved), he’s faced down challenges that would make others quiver.
Yet here he stands, feeling utterly impotent in the face of this whodunit in the confines of a sleepy town.
It gnaws at him, this sense of inadequacy, like a persistent itch he can’t scratch. It’s a bitter pill to swallow, a humbling reminder of the unpredictable nature of crime and the limits of his own expertise.
He needs to be better.
“What’s interestin’, though, is this,” She stands, motioning for the two men to follow her and they share a look before wordlessly complying. Cecelia hands them both a pair of latex gloves, instructing them to put them on.
They make it a few feet away from Jessica’s body and that’s when Javi sees it.
“Is that vomit?” 
Cecelia nods, “It is. I’m betting it’s hers. The interestin’ bit isn’t that she vomited–– but the contents. Take a look. Tell me what you see.” 
Javier is the first to kneel with Romeo looking over his shoulder. He eyes the evidence, pushing his aviators to the top of his head, making out the larger chunks in the grossly colored bile.
He can’t discern what it is right away and Cecelia encourages him to use his hands, which has him looking at her ludicrously and muttering how gross this shit is in Spanish before doing as suggested.
Poking his latex clad fingers in the mess, Javi analyzes the contents and that’s when he sees a symbol marked in ink on one of the scraps.
“It’s flesh. Human flesh.” 
Shit. He sees it now, the mark is a tattoo and he quickly barks out an order to have one of the lingering deputies come take pictures of it.
“Son of a bitch is feedin’ people… people. Would explain Nina Thorton’s missin’ leg. What the fuck is goin’ on here?” The sheriff sounds defeated and Javier just remains silent as he mulls over all this new information that’s been revealed.
Kidnapped, held hostage, fed human flesh, murdered, dumped.
All the other victims up until now have only been taken then killed. None of them held captive for long. Not all of them consuming flesh.
But then there’s Nina and her postmortem severed leg.
Fuck, the answer is right there, interwoven in the intricacies and lack of details in the cases. 
No more fucking around, no more helping girls sneak back inside their homes, no more distractions. He has to focus on doing his job.
He will catch who did this, he will prove himself to be qualified to do what he was brought here to do.
Javier remains kneeled and deep in thought as Romeo and Cecelia continue on with their observations. He looks around to study their surroundings, wondering if there is anything else that is right in front of him that he cannot see.
“Three outta five have been brunettes around the same age. I think that’s something worth considering now,” Javier breaks up the conversation betweens the sheriff and coroner, both of them turning to look at him as he stands from his kneeled position and begins to take off the gloves,” Seems like they found their type. There’s got to be a purpose for the consistent victimology.” 
They’ve migrated over to Jessica’s body now, both men doing last minute look overs before she is transported back to her hometown for her parents to identify and for Cecelia to preform the autopsy.
When a deputy comes over to take the last bits of photo evidence, he looks sickly but Javier ignores it. It’s not until her body is turned upright, exposing her mauled chest, that has the younger officer hurling over and throwing up, some of it landing on Romeo.
“God fuckin’ damn it, Andrews, spew that shit elsewhere. Fuck, not only are you contaminatin’ the crime scene but you got it all over my damn pants.” 
The sheriff goes on a tangent, chewing the officer out and threatening to suspend him for two weeks with no pay. It’s harsh, Javier will admit, but he doesn’t say anything, remaining stoic with his arms crossed against his chest as he watches it unfold.
Eventually, everyone trickles out. Even the nosey reporters and townies. Javier wants to stay, walk around the area to see if anything else was left behind. Maybe something was dropped or buried nearby, and while they had assured him that others have already done a thorough search–– he’d feel more comfortable if he did it himself.
“Ya mind stoppin’ by my place so I can change? Kid ruined these.” Romeo’s gruff voice has Javier losing his train of thought, too engrossed in looking out into the vast area of the woods as the sun slowly begins to set. 
Right, they arrived together, driving from the station in Javier’s cruiser.
“Sure.” He replies plainly. His plans for the evening now include getting Romeo situated so that he can come back here and investigate all on his own. He might even drive to Fayette to retrieve the autopsy from Cecelia as soon as she completes it.
With the Leighton home being on the other side of town, this gives the two men time to talk the case over; going over all that they know and all that they’ve discovered. Romeo confides in Javier about feeling inadequate about the way he’s doing his job and, in a turn of events, Javier does the same. In his own way.
The mutual understanding is a relief, though the guilt of his kiss with Paloma is palpable and it makes Javi feel like a fraud.
Across from him is a man who has extended nothing but kindness and trust, offering camaraderie and a sense of belonging. Yet, despite this, Javier found himself drawn to his daughter in a way that was both exhilarating and forbidden.
It feels wrong, achingly so. A bitter realization that despite their mutual longing, their connection can never be fully realized. It’s a harsh wake up call: if he truly wants to better himself, he must shed his bad habit of losing himself in women and distance himself from her.
What a discomforting prospect, the inevitable separation. But he knows it’s the only way forward. He understands that in time, they will both resign themselves to the reality of their infatuation.
It’s a familiar ache, this sense of inevitability that haunts his romantic endeavors like a relentless specter. Javier knows the drill all too well; it’s not his first rodeo in navigating the treacherous terrain of severing emotional ties.
His love life feels like a series of missteps, a cursed labyrinth from which there’s no escape. Despite the initial allure of each new romance, he’s come to anticipate the eventual descent into disappointment. No matter how promising the beginning, the journey always seems to lead to the same desolate destination.
With him hurting them beyond measure.
Fuck the idea of reinventing himself here. He can find peace and monotony anywhere else.
Javier will follow through with his responsibilities, and the second he’s able to peel out of Seminary–– he will, leaving her behind as a bittersweet memory. A beautiful yet unattainable dream that he will carry with him for years to come.
As they pull in to the Leighton residence, he sees the woman that lives in his head perched up on the fence that surrounds the immediate area. Her baggy jeans are hanging low, exposing the sheer fabric of her underwear. She turns as she hears the sound of a car approaching, and her lips pull into a smile once she sees who it is.
Paloma fully expected to wake up the following day filled with regret and plagued by a hangover. The only thing she experienced was the latter, but it had quickly been nursed by a greasy breakfast and some yard work.
Javier had kissed her back, that was enough to feed into her delusions that he does want her. All inhibitions have been dropped, she’s prepared to lay herself out for him–– to tell him that she’s wanted him since the moment they met.
It might seem premature, an impulsive plunge into the uncertainty of his reaction to her feelings, but the tender memory of their shared kiss eclipses all rational thought. She finds herself irresistibly drawn to the possibility of something more, unable to resist the pull of her emotions.
His touch still lingers on her skin. His hands tracing the curves of her body with a hunger that left her breathless. She can still feel the way he had grabbed her ass then gripped onto her hips, pulling her closer to him.
But it was his mouth that left the strongest impression. His tongue had explored the depths of hers, tasting and teasing her with a ferocity that made her feel alive.
In that moment, she had felt desired, cherished, and wanted. It was a feeling that she hadn’t realized she craved so badly until last night. She knew that she would never be able to forget that kiss and the way it had made her feel.
She’s giddy, her excitement bubbling up like fizzy soda, reminiscent of the first time she ever kissed a boy. Except Javier isn’t a boy–– he’s a man. A man whose expertise and skill are a potent aphrodisiac, heightening her arousal to levels she never thought possible.
She’s been hot for him all day, even touched herself to the memory of his soft lips, the tickle of his mustache, against hers then imagining them everywhere else. The mere thought of it is enough to send her heart racing, and she knows that nothing will satisfy her until she has him in her arms again.
Romeo gets out the car, muttering that he’d be right back and Javi opts to stay put. He does not want to speak to her, knowing that the second he gazes into those beautiful brown eyes–– he’d buckle. He needs to build animosity between them; it’s the only way for them to definitively be able to separate from one another.
But she doesn’t make it easy, of course. Because the second her father is inside, she’s practically skipping over to the driver’s side of the cruiser.
“Hello officer. Here to bring me in for all those crimes I committed last night?” She teases as she leans her forearms against the rolled down window, the cowgirl hat perched on her head complimenting her so well.
Javier swallows thickly, taking a lengthy drag of the familiar cigarette between his lips. He can’t outright ignore her so he decides to be short instead.
“M’not here for games, Paloma.” 
She’s taken aback by his tone, her smile faltering.
“Well excuse me for tryin’ to make conversation. Wasn’t aware that you’re in a mood today.” 
There’s a pause despite her attempt to add a teasing tone to her words to lighten him up. It falls flat.
“And I’m not looking to have a conversation. You can go.” 
Her brows cinch together at his dismissal, this is not how she was expecting for this to go.
“What’s goin on’? Is this because we… because of the kiss last night?” She lowers her voice towards the end, red blooming across her cheeks but she keeps her composure.
“Jesus,” Javier chuckles humorlessly, shaking his head. It sends a sharp pang through her heart.” Why do you always think that’s the fuckin’ problem whenever I don’t want to talk to you? For someone who claims to be a grown woman all the time, you sure as shit don’t act like it.” 
She stills, the buoyant confidence that had propelled her toward him evaporating in an instant, replaced by a wave of hurt at his unexpected chilliness. What has gotten into him?
“Drop it and move on, Paloma. We just found Jessica Valdez’s body dumped out in a ditch. S’not the time to be hung up on a damn kiss.” 
The sound of the screen door shutting close breaks her away from him and the trance she’d seemingly gone into. Another victim, another tragedy to confront… and here she is acting like a smitten teenaged girl.
The urge to cower and crawl into herself, to surrender to the overwhelming embarrassment and sorrow, threatens to engulf her entirely. She remains silent, fighting back the surge of frustrated, angry tears as she pushes off the car and trudges back toward the house.
Javier exhales heavily once she strides away without a word, feeling a weight settle on his shoulders. He had braced himself for a snide remark or some form of verbal retaliation, but her silent departure was far more impactful.
“I’ll be home late. Don’t wait up.” Her father murmurs as he passes her, planting a tender kiss atop her head. He lingers there for a moment but she doesn’t question it, knowing it’s because of what they found today and she doesn’t even mind that he hasn’t told her about it.
As he breaks away, she conjures up a semblance of a genuine smile, masking her turmoil, and nods before he affectionately pinches her nose and continues on his way.
She doesn’t look back, she doesn’t cry or go inside–– instead she picks up her discarded gardening gloves and proceeds to channel her energy into the simple act of mowing the grass.
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She finds herself alone at the open bar as the party continues in full swing. It’s been days since Jessica’s death, and the tense conversation she had with Javier still lingers in her mind.
“Drop it and move on, Paloma.” 
Unlike the last time they went without speaking, there is much more tension between them now. The worst part about it is having to act as if nothing is wrong in the presence of her father.
No daddy, everything’s fine! It’s not like I threw myself at your co-worker not once, but twice and both times he made me feel like a fucking idiot!
She lets out a disdainful sigh, her fingers curling around the glass containing her coveted cherry root beer since she’s decided to part ways with alcohol and any other substance for the time being.
The two men are busy mingling with other guests and have been since the moment they arrived. Despite her efforts to divert her gaze elsewhere, her eyes keep involuntarily drifting towards Javier’s broad figure.
The event had called for formal attire, so when he strode in wearing a meticulously tailored all-black suit, her breath caught in her throat. The sharp lines of his outfit, coupled with the crispness of his button-down and the matching tie, made her momentarily forget why she was so upset with him. He looked too damn handsome.
It’s brutal how the things we desire most often seem to radiate the brightest when they’re just out of reach.
Observing him mingle effortlessly with others is entertaining. Contrary to her expectations, he appears completely at ease in this bustling social setting, a far cry from the disdain he expressed for large gatherings that morning in his kitchen.
He’s acting a lot more extroverted and… smile-y. It pisses her off as much as it melts her heart.
They make their way over to her and she makes a point to not even look in his direction. Though now she’s caught between her father and Javier as they order another round of drinks. 
It really doesn’t help that they’re shoulder to shoulder. The heady aroma of his cologne, laced with the familiar tang of cigarette smoke and the faint hint of whiskey, infiltrates her senses, making it impossible to outright ignore him.
Javier Peña is like a blazing beacon and she’s the foolish moth drawn inexplicably closer to his flame. But she knows all too well the danger of getting too close, like a moth singed by the heat, the allure of his brightness can be killer.
Javier had assumed that with news of Jessica being found dead, their attendance to this party wouldn’t be mandatory.
Well, he thought wrong. It is a cruel reminder of how life goes on, even when tragedy strikes.
Another dead girl, another over-the-top party.
Which is why he’ll give it an hour–– tops–– to shake whoever’s hand and meet whoever else, then he’d leave. It’s a simple plan, the only thing making it difficult for him is his proximity to the woman he’s desperately trying to cut ties with.
She looks so beautiful tonight, donning a calf length simple black dress that hugs all her curves just right. 
“There they are! My Law and Order! Y’all keepin’ the townsfolk in line?” The boastful voice of Mayor Jonah Abbott draws near and Javier suppresses the urge to roll his eyes.
Foolish of him to think he wouldn’t have to interact with the titular birthday boy tonight.
He greets both men with a firm handshake, and when his attention turns to her; Javier has to drown the subtle spark of frustration with his drink at the way his eyes rake over her body.
“And of course, Miss. Paloma. They say a smile is worth a thousand words, but yours? It’s worth a million dreams.” He brings her hand up to his lips to plant a kiss against her knuckles and all she does is offer him a polite smile. Here we go…
“Mr. Abbott—” 
“Jonah, sweetheart. Been tellin’ you to call me that for years now.” 
Her smile threatens to twitch out of annoyance, “Jonah. Happy Birthday. Thank you for invitin’ us to your home.” 
“Always a pleasure to have you ’round. I heard about your performance up in Dallas. Shame I missed it. Woulda loved to hear that beautiful voice of yours and seen you up on that stage.” 
Javier can’t help the subtle grunt he emits at the mayor’s overt flirtation, causing for her to just briefly glance up at him with a bemused flash crossing her stare.
The familiarity of Jonah’s behavior strikes a chord within him. Once upon a time, Javier was just like this–– an arrogant charmer with a penchant for flirting with anything in a skirt. Standing here amidst the other man’s smooth talk, he sees through the facade with clarity born of experience.
It’s a performance, an act to charm his way in between Paloma’s legs, though Javi can clearly see that she’s not falling for it. Does Romeo notice it too, he wonders? Or is he blinded by the mayor’s charisma, unable to see that this man clearly wants to sleep with his daughter.
Then again, Javier’s opinion on this is irrelevant and invalid since he too has been in the same predicament since meeting her. At least he didn’t do it blatantly in front of the sheriff’s face.
Or, in a turn of events, perhaps Romeo doesn’t give a damn. Jonah Abbott presents himself as a viable candidate to be with his daughter; a young politician with deep pockets and a keen interest in her.
Javier can’t shake off the mental picture of the man’s wedding ring adorning her finger, of her transforming into the perfect, submissive wife, tending to the household and filling this place with snot nosed kids. But such a scenario doesn’t align with her fiery and headstrong nature. She’s far too independent and spirited to succumb to the confines of domesticity, particularly for a man like Jonah.
Then again, why the fuck does he care?
“Well as you know, I do two shows every weekend at The Whiskey Fox. Could always stop by and see me and the band.” 
“A busy man like myself always has a full schedule. Though I reckon I should make some time to be out in the community. Wouldn’t hurt to stop by for dinner and a show.” 
He winks at her and of course he does it when her father turns to order himself another drink. Javier’s jaw flinches.
“Now Romeo, why have you been keepin’ this badass motherfucker hidden from me? I knew we had someone new joinin’ the force but I didn’t think it’d be the Javier Peña. A goddamn American hero— right here in Seminary, Texas!” 
As Jonah begins his praises, pairing them with a harsh slap to his shoulder, Javier remains cool and calculating. He refuses to be swayed by empty compliments.
Meanwhile, she breathes a silent sigh of relief as the spotlight shifts away from her, and she finds it amusing at how everyone seems to talk about Javier.
A hero. A true patriot. Such a brave soul for fightin’ the war on drugs on Uncle Sam’s behalf.
If only they knew the truth––if they had even a glimpse of the darkness he’s had to face, they wouldn’t be so quick to idolize him.
The label of hero, bestowed upon him since the demise of Escobar, sits uneasily on his shoulders. The adulation feels like a burden he never asked for, a title he never wanted. It’s a reminder of the complexities of his past, the mistakes he’s made, and the ghosts that continue to haunt him. Javi despises the word, resenting the way it overshadows his true self and the countless sins he harbors in silence.
“Gotta keep ’em humble. Keeps the head on straight.” Romeo banters back, pulling one of those haughty, rich men laughs from the mayor. 
She cringes at the pretentiousness echoing in the air.
The men break out into small talk leaving her feeling awkward as she swirls the almost fully melted ice around the empty cup. It’s not until Jonah is getting ready to move on to a new set of guests that the attention is turned back to her.
“And you, pretty girl, owe me a song. Specifically that one Linda Ronstadt song from the Fourth of July barbecue last year. Remember? S’only fair… consider it a birthday gift from you to me.” 
Despite her inner discomfort, she maintains a face of cheerfulness, though her stomach sinks with apprehension at his request. Memories of the barbecue flood her mind, vivid recollections of his relentless pursuit despite her repeated, albeit polite, refusals.
The word ’no’ is on the tip of her tongue, but knowing all too well the persistence he’s exhibited before; she succumbs to the weight of the occasion—his birthday—and the anticipation in his eyes.
“Blue Bayou, I remember. Does the band know it?” She inquires, her gaze flickering towards the live band stationed near the open area of the dance floor where a throng of people sway to the music.
She’s secretly hoping that they don’t, but the song is very popular so her hope dwindles.
“If they don’t, they will. I’ll introduce you when it’s time.” 
With a tight and forced smile gracing her lips, she simply replies, “Okay,” accompanied by a subtle nod. His wicked grin spreads larger, almost daring Javier to react by punching him square in the jaw.
Regardless of how he feels towards her and their situation, it irks him to no end how this man blatantly disregards her boundaries.
Her body language screams apprehension, evident to anyone observant enough. However, Mayor Abbott is too fixated on persuading her to comply with his wishes to take notice. It’s apparent that he’s not accustomed to hearing the word ’no’.
Javi just holds his tongue, an insult threatening to slip out, as he finishes his drink with a practiced air of nonchalance.
The mayor finally says his goodbyes before walking away and her shoulders drop instantly.
“Guess I owe ya twenty bucks.” Romeo mutters, digging into his suit pocket for his wallet. 
The laugh she gives, though slight, simultaneously soothes and torments his heart.
Damn it all— this is going to be torture but he must endure.
“She bet that he was gonna pull somethin’ like this before leavin’ the house. I was dumb enough to think he wouldn’t.” He explains to Javier as he slips his daughter the twenty dollar bill which she slyly stuffs under the fabric of her dress by her chest.
The action, seemingly simple, is so hot to him.
“How many times do I have to say m’not a damn show pony that does tricks whenever it’s asked? He’s so lucky that I’m polite and that it’s his birthday— If not I woulda told him to shove it—-” She doesn’t finish her sentence as they’re approached by a group of people that she doesn’t recognize nor care for.
She feels like an afterthought as they bombard the men with questions about the recent cases and other related topics, so she takes that as her cue to leave, ordering another mocktail before slipping away towards the dance floor.
She is fully prepared to turn her brain off to enjoy some semblance of normalcy before she’s thrown back in to the confusing pit that is her current status with the former DEA agent.
Attempting to convince herself that she’s enjoying the moment, she sways to the lively rhythm of the music, lost in her own solitary dance. A few partygoers approach her asking to join her which she declines; peeved by all the unwanted attention she’s getting.
This isn’t even her party. She holds no merit here.
Javier only catches glimpses of her from his peripheral, engrossed in a conversation with a man who remembers him from his sheriff days in Laredo, before he left for Colombia. The discourse drones on, punctuated by forced laughter and idle pleasantries. Each word falls flat, devoid of substance, yet Javier remains steadfast. Anything to keep him and his mind away from her.
Suddenly, the screeching sound of microphone feedback reverberates off the opulent walls of the ballroom-style space and she winces at noise.
“Excuse me, sorry–– I’m not very good with these things.” The man of the hour apologizes, his voice crackling through the speakers. She inwardly curses, anticipating what’s to come next. Setting her now-empty glass down on one of the nearby tables, she smooths her hands along the velvety fabric of her dress, ironing out any wrinkles, and hastily fixes her hair as best as she can without a mirror.
With a deep breath, she pushes down her nerves, summoning a smile to face the adversity when he introduces her. She steps onto the stage, the room erupting into scattered applause as she approaches the microphone.
Midway through the song, to her surprise, Jonah joins her on stage, transforming the solo performance into an unexpected duet. Despite her inner discomfort, Paloma maintains a composed expression and tries to conceal any hint of surprise in her body language as he draws nearer.
Her unease heightens when he pulls her close against him, the heat of his body against hers as they sway to the rhythm of the music during the instrumental interlude of the country song. She reluctantly complies, her compliance more a result of avoidance of potential consequences than genuine willingness to dance with him.
The sight of his possessive grip on her waist, pulling her into an unwelcome dance, ignites a surge of vexation within Javier. He feels the tension in his muscles coil tighter with each step they take, their bodies moving in sync to the rhythm of the music. It’s unbearable to watch, the image of Paloma in Jonah’s arms twisting like a knife in his gut.
Without a word, Javier makes his escape, his strides purposeful as he navigates through the crowded room. He mutters a vague excuse to Romeo, the urgency in his voice betraying his need to flee from the suffocating scene unfolding before him.
Finally stepping out into the cooler night air, Javier takes a deep breath to soothe his frazzled nerves. He makes his way towards a gazebo that’s right by the large pond, putting as much distance as he can between himself and the party inside.
Leaning against the railing of the structure, he retrieves his trusty pack of cigarettes from his pocket, hands trembling slightly as he lights one. Each drag offers a fleeting moment of respite from the turmoil brewing inside him.
Inside, the song ends and she wastes no time in descending the stage, a sense of urgency propelling her movements. She refuses to linger, her mind consumed with the dread of another unwanted encounter with the mayor. Surveying the crowded room, she searches in vain for her father or Javier, but they’re nowhere to be found amidst the sea of faces.
Determined to escape the party atmosphere, Paloma makes a beeline for the exit, craving the solace of the summer night air. Stepping out onto the back porch, she inhales deeply, the breeze offering a welcome reprieve from the stifling heat of the event.
The night is alive with subtle sounds—toads croaking in the distance, the distant murmur of conversation—but it’s the solitary figure in the distance that captures her attention. With a sense of inevitability, Paloma finds herself drawn towards the silhouette, her heels clicking softly against the pavement as she descends the steps leading to the gazebo.
When she approaches, Javier remains steadfast, his gaze fixed on the tranquil expanse of water before him. The rhythmic puff of his cigarette punctuates the silence, a tangible barrier between them. Despite the tension hanging in the air, Paloma presses forward, her resolve unyielding as she closes the distance between them.
“We need to talk.” 
He stands like a statue, the weight of her words are heavy, yet he remains resolute in his silence, hoping that she’ll simply give up and leave him be. But Paloma is nothing if not persistent, her frustration bubbling over as she confronts him.
“Fuck, Javier will you at least look at me?! Acknowledge that I’m standin’ here tryin’ to speak with you?!” Her voice crackles with pent-up emotion, her southern accent thick as each word is laden with an intensity that he can’t ignore.
Reluctantly, he turns his head slightly, his gaze skimming over her figure with resignation. It’s a small concession, but it’s enough to stoke the fire of her frustration to new heights.
“I dunno why you’ve decided to be such a jerk to me all of the sudden,” she continues, her tone laced with a raw edge of hurt and confusion. “You’re tellin’ me that I’m bein’ childish a-and that I need to move on from the kiss but we both know it’s so much bigger than that. We’ve been dancin’ around it since the moment we met and I’m tired of pretendin’ like I don’t want you.” 
His eyes close briefly, a fleeting moment of vulnerability before he retreats behind his stoic facade once more. His fingers find their way to the bridge of his nose, pinching tightly as he struggles to find the right words to respond. But before he can form a coherent thought, she presses on, her voice trembling with the weight of her confession.
“I told myself I wouldn’t care if you didn’t feel the same way,” She admits, her voice growing softer now, tinged with a hint of desperation. “But that was before I got to know you. Before you somehow wriggled your way into my heart and overtook my mind entirely. We became friends, and I-I didn’t want to screw that up. But then we kissed, and in that moment, I knew you wanted me just as badly…” 
She draws closer, her hand reaching out tentatively to rest on his shoulder, the touch sending a jolt of tension through his body. It’s a silent plea, a manifestation of her vulnerability, and it’s all he can do to keep his composure still as her words wash over him like a hurricane.
“Every time I see you I don’t want to behave, Javi. I’m tired of being patient, so let’s pick up the pace and finally give in.” 
He flicks his finished cigarette out into the water, the ember trailing like a shooting star before disappearing into the dark abyss below.
Slowly, he turns to face her fully, the summer air crackling with tension as he takes in her determined stance. His hand shoots out, grabbing hold of the wrist that had just been resting on him, his dark eyes boring into hers in an act of intimidation.
But Paloma doesn’t back down, her gaze unwavering as she meets his stare head-on. Instead, she brings her free hand up to rest against his chest, the heat of her touch seeping through the fabric of his shirt as she steps closer, closing the gap between them until his dress shoes are toe-to-toe with her pointed heels.
He doesn’t make an effort to step away or decline her advances, his resolve crumbling in the face of her determination. Her words have jumbled him up completely, the sudden revelation of her feelings catching him off guard and leaving him reeling. The direct mention of what they’ve been indulging in for the past few months digs into his achilles’ heel—his tendency to fall in love in the damndest of times.
He stares down into her eyes, a storm of conflicting emotions raging wildly. The lust swirling in her gaze stirs something primal and raw within him. Any rational part of his brain seems to shut down in that moment, his thoughts consumed by the overwhelming desire to kiss her again, to lose himself in the exhilarating whirlwind of emotions that she evokes from him.
“It’s obviously insane, m’not a fucking idiot I understand the repercussions…. but we both know what we want, so why don’t we…” She whispers, tilting her head up until their lips brush against one another.
“Why don’t we fall in love?” 
It’s not clear who makes the first move, but their lips are interlocked in a passionate kiss—a fierce collision of desire and pent-up longing that surpasses the one they had previously shared. Paloma’s hand on his chest clenches the fabric of his shirt while Javier relinquishes his grip on her wrist, his own hands rising to cradle her jaw in his palms.
The taste of the lingering cigarette smoke mingles with the faint bitterness of alcohol on his breath, a heady combination that heightens her desire. She moans softly into his mouth, her tongue intertwining with his in a desperate attempt to savor every fleeting moment before it inevitably slips away.
Javier, consumed by the intoxicating sensation, slowly walks her back until her back is against the sturdy pillar of the gazebo, his movements now possessive and urgent. He deepens the kiss, molding his body against hers as if to merge their souls into one.
Her touch is addicting, a bittersweet symphony that resonates in the depths of his bones. Despite the warnings screaming in the recesses of his mind, urging him to stop and pull away, he finds himself unable to resist the magnetic pull she exerts over him.
Breaking the kiss, Javier’s lips trail down the side of her mouth, blazing a trail of heated kisses along her jawline before descending to her neck. His teeth graze her delicate skin, resisting the urge to leave a trail of marks in their wake as his tongue traces a path along her neck and up to her earlobe, where he bites down gently.
“Is this what you wanted, nena? For me to shower you in my fucking attention?” He husks, his voice thick with desire and a hint of frustration. His words swim between them, a question laced with layers of longing and palpable need, as he continues to lavish attention upon her neck, each kiss and caress fueling the flames of their mutual desire.
Paloma just whines, arching herself into him as her thighs rub together to relieve the tension of arousal that is assaulting her core.
“Yes, Javi, that’s all I want. I want you to talk to me, to touch me, to make me feel good.” 
Her hands are now against his broad shoulders, fingers curling into the fabric of his suit jacket as she feels the muscles beneath tense at her touch. A low, guttural groan escapes his lips in response to her words, a primal sound that sends shivers down her spine.
“I can make you feel good, hermosa. Better than any fucking culero (asshole) in this town.” He murmurs, his voice dripping with possessiveness. With deliberate intent, Javi begins to hike up her long dress, the fabric yielding easily to his touch until it’s gathered at the top of her thighs, exposing her black, lacey panties. His hands roam lower, trailing a path of electricity along her skin until they find purchase behind her thighs, gripping the soft skin firmly as he effortlessly lifts her into his arms.
She wraps her legs around his waist, anchoring herself to him as he hoists her up against the solid pillar of the gazebo. She feels his hardness pressing up against her clothed cunt and it has a sharp pang of pleasure sprouting at her core, igniting a fierce heat to course through her entirely. His touch is addicting, sending waves of ecstasy rippling through her body as she surrenders to the intrinsic urgency of their shared horniness.
The pure conviction in his tone only adds to the intensity of the moment. She wants nothing more than to be completely ruined by this man. She wants to be his, and his alone.
Javier grinds his hips up, the friction between them firing up every nerve ending. Her pussy throbs with need, aching for more of his touch. She can feel every inch of him pressing against her, his hard cock straining against his pants, begging to be released.
As their bodies move in perfect harmony, she wraps her fingers in his hair, tugging at it lightly. His lips move from her neck and crash against hers, a wild, passionate kiss that leaves them both panting for air. It grows more frenzied, their teeth clashing together in a desperate and selfish need for more. She moans into his mouth, the sound sending a jolt of electric arousal straight to his cock. He grinds harder against her, his hips moving in rhythm with hers.
She can feel her orgasm building, a fierce heat blossoming at her pussy. Her whimpers turn to animated moans as she writhes against him. The last time she dry humped someone to completion had been way back in high school and that had been an overall embarrassment so it’s never something she revisited.
Not until now, with Javier who is making her feel like she’s the only girl in the fucking world.
His fingers expertly cup her breast, teasing her hardened nipple through the fabric of her dress. She arches her back, pressing her chest into his hand, silently begging for more. He takes the hint, groping her and squeezing it gently, relishing in the way she shudders.
Her eyes close in ecstasy as he continues to knead her tit. His other hand trails along her inner thigh, inching closer and closer to the heat between her legs. When he finally reaches her core, she gasps, her body trembling with need. He doesn’t touch her, instead he digs his fingers into the soft flesh of her thigh.
“If this is what you wanted so fucking bad then go ahead and take it, needy girl. Go on, make yourself cum by grinding that wet pussy all over me.” 
She mewls, throwing her head back as she feels her orgasm building. She’s such a sight to bear witness to, how her swollen lips part and his name slips from her tongue like a hymn, making his cock twitch.
Her wetness seeps through her flimsy thong, leaving a damp spot on the fabric of his dress pants. He can feel it seeping through the material and it drives him mad. He needs to be inside her, to feel her walls fluttering around his cock as they finally give in to each other…
But first, he wants to watch her unravel just like this.
“I’m close, Javi…” His lips hungrily devour the tender flesh of her neck again, making her eyes roll back as their hips continue to move at a sensual pace. The metallic zipper of his pants brushes against her sensitive clit, sending shockwaves of pleasure coursing through her body. She can’t help but cry out in sweet surrender, her voice louder than before.
His large hand clamps over her mouth, preventing her screams from echoing out.
“Don’t get us caught, chiquita. Wouldn’t want your daddy comin’ out here and findin’ you like this–– all cockdrunk and begging to be fucked.” 
His dirty and abrasive words are like fuel to the flames of her impending climax, sending her spiraling out of control. Her rhythm stutters, her body writhing uncontrollably as she bites down on the skin of his palm as the orgasm overtakes her entirely.
All that can be heard is their heavy, shared pants. His hand falls from her mouth as she falls limp in his arms, her body jolting every now and again with the aftershock of her intense orgasm. 
She peppers tender kisses along the bare expanse of his jaw, silently berating him for having his shirt buttoned up for once and the pesky tie restricting her from licking and biting against the tantalizing skin of his neck and collarbone.
“Need… need to feel you, Javi, please.” She whines against his ear, her hands trailing down from his broad shoulders, over his chest, then down to his belt buckle. She can still feel the swell of him pressed up against her sopping cunt and despite just coming hard; she’s craving to feel all of him.
This is the pivotal moment where he knows he should exercise restraint, where the noble path of virtue beckons him to rise above the consuming tide of desire. To explain to her that they can and never will be anything but an unattainable fantasy.
But he doesn’t, instead Javi lets her untuck his dress shirt from his pants and helps her with unbuckling his belt.
“We shouldn’t do this, Paloma…” Is all he can say in an attempt to keep it from happening but she shushes him, her hand slipping beneath his boxers as she wraps her manicured fingers around his girth and begins to pump him slowly.
“Mierda,” He curses in Spanish, his forehead falling gently against hers as his eyes flutter close at the overwhelming feeling of her softer, smaller hand jerking him off. Her thumb glides over the tip, spreading his excessive precum over the length of his cock.
“But we want to… oh you’re so big Javi. Gonna be feelin’ you for days…” She sounds like something out of a wet dream and he simply can’t hold back any longer.
He instructs her to grab his wallet from his suit pocket and to retrieve the condom he keeps in there, receiving a playful eye roll from her but she doesn’t push her luck–– she needs him badly and she’d go absolutely feral if he decided to deny them both the pleasure of fucking.
His strong hold on her keeps them secure against the pillar, she rips the small package with her teeth then pushes his pants down enough to release his erection, rolling the latex on easily.
There’s a moment where suspension hangs in the air, both of them staring into each other’s lust blown eyes.
“Don’t think about it too much, please. Just fuck me.” 
Her insistence is such a turn on, spurring him into reaching down to ball up the thin layer of her panties before he yanks them off, the sound of the fabric tearing apart causing her to gasp. Stuffing the ruined material into his back pocket, he readjusts his hips so that the thick head of his cock presses up against her exposed and puffy folds.
“Such an impatient little thing, hermosa. I shouldn’t even give you what you want. Should just walk away and leave you here a desperate and wet mess.” 
Gripping onto the base of his cock with his free hand, Javier nudges it between her slit and teases her, the head repeatedly brushing against the pearl of her clit.
Her breath hitches, rolling her hips to entice him into entering her, “Please, Javi, I’ll do whatever you want just plea–– oh f-fuck!” 
He sinks into her pussy, leaning forward to bite down on her shoulder to keep his own sounds of pleasure at bay as he feels the way her fleshy walls contract around his cock, stretching her with how thick he is.
Her fingers return to intertwine themselves in his hair as he begins to set a delicious pace, fucking into her with a passion that’s making her see stars. The feeling of his teeth digging into her skin is an added stimulant to the already immense pleasure.
“Damn it you’re so tight. Feel so good wrapped around my cock, pretty girl. You satisfied now that I’m giving you what you want, huh?” He grunts out, nipping at her jawline as all she does is keen and moan, too overwhelmed with how good he’s making her feel. “Spoiled little thing, gonna fuck that right out of this tight little body. So you can learn, fuck, learn how not to be such a fucking pain in my ass.” 
She’s too wrapped up in the feeling of him brushing up against her cervix to fully process what he is saying against her skin. Their lips slant over each other as they kiss messily, the way he fucks her making her brain melt.
There’s no thoughts up there, just the feeling of him as he continues to break her open with his delicious cock.
His hands fall down to her waist, holding on tightly as he goes from languid thrusts to a quicker, more brutal pace as they chase their orgasms.
She’s glad that they’re far away enough to where no one can interrupt this moment, though the idea of there being an onlooker does entice her more than she’d ever admit. 
Her legs tighten around his waist, the pointed heel of her shoes digging into his backside as she feels a knot forming at the pit of her stomach, indicating that she isn’t far from coming undone.
“C’mon nena, be a good girl and let go,” His thumb finds itself being pressed against her soft lips and immediately she opens her mouth, licking around then sucking the digit and maintaining eye contact through it all. It has Javier grunting out a few expletives before letting his saliva coated thumb drop between them, rubbing tight circles against her clit.
This has her clenching around him and crying out, which causes a smirk to tug at his lips as he puts more pressure onto her clit.” Tan bonita así, toda lista para mi. (So pretty like this, all ready for me)” 
She tugs harshly at his hair at the sound of his Spanish, her arousal topples over and her second orgasm hits her like toppling bricks. She squeezes his cock tightly inside her, her legs an iron grip on his waist as she bites down harshly on her bottom lip, almost drawing blood, to keep her intense whimpers and moans from spilling out and drawing attention to them.
Satisfied that he’s made her unravel on him, Javier fucks her through her orgasm relentlessly until he’s spilling into the condom, burying his face in her neck, right where he can feel her pulse, and grazing the skin with his teeth. He wants to leave a mark, for her to walk around with evidence of him on her body but that’d be a wrong move atop of all the other wrong moves he’s made tonight.
Paloma breathes heavily, mind hazy as she tries to recollect herself from the throes of passion bestowed upon her by Javier Peña. They stay there, embraced in one another before he pulls out of her with a grunt and she whines at the loss of him.
Her legs unwrap from his waist as he tentatively sets her down, discarding of the condom into the water as he tucks himself back into his pants and she pulls her dress down, not even bothered by the fact that he ripped her underwear right off of her.
“That was a mistake.” 
His statement cuts through the night air and she’s already struggling to catch her footing on wobbly legs, the effect of being fucked hard and good.
“Javi––” 
“No, Paloma, I’m fucking serious.” He asserts, his voice taking on a sharp edge, landing like a heavy blow on her already rattled nerves.
“All that sentimental bullshit you were saying before… it means nothing to me. You’re just a distraction–– a pretty face that’s been keeping me from doing my damn job. Now, there’s another life lost, and instead of finding answers, I’m too busy babysitting you.” 
“Don’t you dare pin your incompetence on me, Javier,” She shoots back, her tone tinged with anger and frustration,” I’ve seen my father struggle with this bullshit for months now–– it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with you. S’not my fault you’re not as clever as everyone thinks you are. All the praise you get for being such a fuckin’ hero and yet… look at you. Unable to meet the expectations.” 
She adjusts the thin straps of her dress back up her shoulder, wincing slightly as she brushes against the bite mark he accidentally left against her skin, knowing that she’s going to feel that atop of the soreness between her legs after this.
She braces herself for the inevitable discomfort that will follow, both physically and emotionally.
Javier’s jaw tightens, muscles rippling beneath his skin as he fights to maintain his composure. He knows better than to let her words get to him the way that they are.
This is exactly what they need, some intense fight to fully shatter the illusion of their involvement.
“Look at you, Paloma,” He sneers, his words dripping with contempt as he levels a scornful gaze at her. “Throwing yourself at me every chance you get like a whore. I used to pay for shit like this, but you? Oh, I didn’t spare a fucking dime. Giving it all up for free.” 
Her jaw drops, a surge of anger and indignation flooding her senses as his words cut through her like a knife. She raises her hand instinctively, intent on delivering a stinging rebuke in the form of a slap across his jaw. But before she can make contact, his grip tightens around her wrist, arresting her movement with an iron grip.
“Don’t be stupid, querida,” He mocks her, his voice laced with disdain as he delivers each word like a venomous dagger. “Now that I fucked you one good time: Leave. Me. Alone. How ’bout you go back inside and fraternize with the mayor. I’m sure he’s eager to give you all the male validation you’re clearly chasing after.” He tilts his head, glaring at her in contempt. “Better yet, run off to your junkie, criminal boyfriend; won’t be long before he knocks you up and you’re stuck living in a run down trailer park in this shitty fucking town.” 
Paloma’s heart shatters at his callous words, tears welling up in her eyes and streaming down her cheeks unchecked. She gazes up at Javier, but the man before her is no longer the sweet, charming figure she thought she knew. His eyes, once warm and inviting, now glint with coldness and malice, rendering him unrecognizable to her.
“Fuck you,” She spits, wrenching her hand free from his grip with a mixture of anger and hurt flashing in her eyes. Despite the tears welling up, she summons every ounce of defiance to shoot him a disdainful glare. “You’re a piece of shit, Javier Peña.” 
With those final words, ones he’s heard a plethora of times before, she whirls around, her footsteps echoing loudly on the wooden stairs as she races to the nearest bathroom.
Ignoring the throbbing ache between her legs, she finds solace in the confines of the lavish restroom, allowing herself to unleash the torrent of tears pent up inside. Feeling foolish and utterly used, she wonders how she could have ever fallen for a man like him.
Meanwhile, Javier is left grappling with the sight of her heartbreak now etched into his memory. Pushing aside his own conflicted emotions, he knows he can’t afford to let their tangled affair distract him any longer.
This is what you both needed. He reminds himself, looking out into the water as the silver moonlight reflects off of the surface. Harsh, but she’ll get over it.
With a resigned sigh, he retrieves another cigarette, the familiar ritual offering a fleeting sense of calm amidst the storm raging about.
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muzanswaifu · 1 year ago
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Ive seen a lot of people confuse me leaving for “people being mean to writers” or getting hate for the things i write of how i write them but its not
But Im not leaving just bc of the audience, i can handle some hate and honestly it was kinda fun from them bc ik that hate comes from jealousy and trolling
Im leaving because of other writers and my “friends”
Ik i said i would get into it and i really dont want to all that much bcuz im tired and just wanna be done with this but it feels wrong to leave under a false assumption and let people think their actions dont have consequences
Ive dealt with a lot from my peers on here, back talking, hating, straight up bullying, and i just cant anymore
I cant deal with drama irl AND on the internet, bcuz at the end of the day i can just delete everything on here and be done with it all so thats wat im gonna do
Tbh this has been building up for a while, i can only handle so much from “friends” and irl i cut people off pretty quick and on here should be no exception but ive fucked up and let people do watever too long and its bitten me in the ass
Yes ik im dramatic lol, ive gotten that a lot and a lot of people hate me for, a lot of people love me for it, its how i am and it keeps things interesting. I get it, i like to make a lot of call out posts. Y? Bc people deserve to be called out and idgaf ab appearances on here. If someone did something bad, im gonna call them out bc last i checked its my blog and i can do wat i want. If u wouldnt do it, thats fine, its ur decision, and this is mine
Yes, i dont post a lot, I. Am. Busy. I have work. I have school. I have a social life. I cant write smut all the time even tho i want to, and at the end of the day, its not my job to write smut all day so people can read it and move on. I like to interact with yall, its fun, i like to talk to a lot of different people on her since my irl friends arent really into anime. Apparently people think im a loser for that? Ok? Sorry i like to talk to people on the internet when im bored instead of producing smut all day for people to read, ig i shouldve remembered im only on here to provide content since i dont deserve to have some fun, my mistake
Requests? Requests r a generosity. So many of my requesters have been absolute angels with being patient in receiving their requests, happy to just see me writing or interacting at all. Others have hounded me regularly telling me im lazy and selfish for not completing my requests, saying im an asshole for not completing them over my own projects bc “they asked first”. LMAO, U WRITE IT THEN???? i dont owe anything to anyone, certainly not someone who comes here solely to read my fics, not even leaving any interaction or encouragement whatsoever, then leave.
The icing on the cake? The tip of the iceburg? Discord of all places. Im sorry some of u didnt enjoy my server, i really am. Ive never used discord before and me and the mods did the best we could and im sorry i couldnt be as attentive to it due to my busy schedule
Im sorry i couldnt get there in time to stop conflicts or just straight up call people out, and im sorry someone had to make another server since they didnt like how i was handling mine bc i didnt take their side in a fight that THEY WERE WRONG IN? But i tried to be nice, tried to defend her and nicely explain y she was she cant say anything they want in any situation bc people get hurt. but it didnt matter. Y? Bc apparently i cant tell people what they can and cant say…
And that made me realize something! Theyre right! Theyre absolutely right and im so stupid for not seeing it until now! I cant stop people from saying things to me. I cant stop people from talking shit ab me. I cant stop people from even saying things on my own blog and server! I just cant. Bcuz in the end, people r gonna say what they want and do what they want bc people dont wanna learn. They dont wanna talk. They dont wanna hear ab how what they do or say affects others. They just wanna do what the want when the want, and they wanna be allowed to, bc fuck everybody else. Everybody is the victim in their own story, and i deserve to be the victim in mine.
And what would a victim do in this situation?
Leave.
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apollos-olives · 8 months ago
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wanted to get your thoughts on this.. palestinian to palestinian lol.... but if this is overstepping i am so sorry bc overstepping was not my intention.
im palestinian american but my roots trace back to gaza -- specifically beit lahia. am i an asshole for getting mad when non-palestinians buy things or take advantage of things that are obviously meant for ppl of gazan roots?
great example of this is how the gaza kufiya from hirbawi always sells out first { and i [a person w roots in gaza] feel like [i am not entitled to getting it but like --] out of all ppl who should be selling it out i feel like it should be us gazans!!!!!!}
+ i seem to always get videos on my socials of non-palestinians (especially white ppl) wearing the gaza kufiya. it sometimes feels like i have to use all my strength to just scroll past the video rather than get upset in their comments section because i know that does nothing for me or them.
sorry for the late response but no dude listen. your feelings are absolutely valid.
i'm very happy that people are sharing appreciating our culture but i also get frustrated because there is a line that many people cross and it does get irritating. i do understand how you are frustrated that the gaza kuffiyeh gets sold out first, and how you think gazans should be the ones to sell and wear them instead. i get it! trust me, i do. but there is also the fact that hirbawi is the last factory in palestine. hirbawi is preserving and saving our cultural traditions and clothings, so while i understand your frustration in that you think it should solely be a gazan thing, with how our situation is going, i think it's appropriate (for now) for hirbawi to be selling kuffiyehs from all over palestine, not just gaza. i feel like the situation really depends on context, and since palestine is in a really awful state right now, i don't believe our criticism should be louder than our support. of course, once palestine is freed and more palestinian factories are put up, then yes! i think gazans should sell gazan kuffiyehs and designs and i think other cities and villages should sell their own designs as well. it's just that hirbawi is very vitally important to palestine and to preserve the authentic kuffiyeh, so that's why i don't have much of an issue (for now).
however i DO have an issue with people wearing and disrespecting our cultural clothings. non palestinians who change our clothings outside of what we have instructed to do with them is HORRENDOUSLY disrespectful and i do feel very bitter about it. so your feelings are absolutely valid.
i have a similar issue with the dabke. seeing these random white people dancing the dabke on tiktok for views is genuinely so disgusting to me that i feel so enraged about it. seeing people doing the dabke for attention and not really for the appreciation of palestinian culture and community makes me just ! ugh ! so like anon, i get it. people using our culture outside of what we have told them to do is very frustrating and your feelings are valid for not liking it.
so like, it really depends on the situation. i think people ARE doing cultural appropriation, but at the same time, like i said, we shouldn't be criticizing palestinian companies for selling and sharing parts of our culture for awareness. if it were a different time and a different scenario, then i'd 100% say that we should gatekeep and not share our culture with anyone. but support for the cause is needed and the best way to show our support is to buy from palestinian brands and not criticize more than care.
i'm sorry if this wasn't well answered, i just think it truly depends on the situation. i hope this helps though
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So, that last scene of everyone coming into the room has me thinking bc sure, Eddie’s all smiley and glowing for the first time this episode.
BUT Eddie’s doing that parent thing where he focuses solely on his kid so that he doesn’t have to fully engage in an uncomfortable situation. He keeps his eyes on Christopher, and I can’t decide whether he even looks at Buck at all. If he does, it’s barely a glance. He’s stepping back, hiding behind Christopher so that he doesn’t have to actually face what happened. He can disengage from everything bc he’s there as Christopher’s dad, not Eddie, Buck’s partner. It’s a tactic I know well. You look like a doting parent from the outside, but inside you’re fucking panicking bc the only thing keeping you from bolting is your kid.
He’s there for Chris. He even says, “give him a hug,” letting Chris act in proxy for his feelings. It’s about Chris getting the affection he needs and the confirmation that Buck is really alright. He makes it about Chris so that he can leave in one piece bc if he thinks too hard about what happened, he’ll fall apart again.
This isn’t the first time Eddie has used Chris as a shield when processing his emotions. Grocery store call out, anyone. But this moment feels different bc it’s supposed to be joyful. Everyone is so happy, and yet Eddie, Buck’s best friend and partner, has gone into full dad mode. He still can’t look at Buck bc it means too much.
Eddie is so fragile right now.
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