#first story looked more like a garage and 2nd one was set up like a living room/hangout area which is where the party was

[iregularlyevadetaxes]

party yesterday was all faildaughters except one girl's bf. bf and his gf are my coworkers, the rest i've never met. also the property was so spread out i'd never seen anything like it before so I didn't know how to GET IN. the party was in the garage, which turned out to be a separate building. it was freezing and snowing at night outside too; I was legit just running in circles terrified until my coworkers bf saw my pathetic ass outside the window and let me in lmfao. then I got lost trying to get out of the garage ❤️

[stardustinmyhands]

6/5/24

I still won’t say what my jealousy is ok. I told a few people. I don’t need to reveal it at all, and I feel a little guilty about it.

Today I’m just sore, no pain. Taking meds to help it. My stomach hurts a little bit. And somehow I got chub rub on my thigh well I slept, baby powder is helping.

Our car completely died on Sunday. We are gonna go look at cars on Saturday after work. Wish us luck. 🍀

I have to appointments this week, luckily I get free rides through my insurance to medical appointments. So I set those up. Tomorrow is my infusion and Friday I see a cardiologist.

I’ve been staying on top of taking my medicines as I should. So I don’t emotionally spiral again like I did a few weeks ago. It didn’t it like it, I felt so out of control. Like I just cried and felt so helpless. I like that I can control most of my emotions.

I take my Adderall everyday now cause it helps me human. I have its molecule tattooed on me. I wanna add more molecules to it of the medications I take to regulate myself. I’m thankful I found medicine that works beautifully for me.

All cause about 20 plus years ago psychiatrists said let’s try a seizure medication with an antipsychotic medicine. I was put on lamictal and Abilify. Today I’m on triliptal and Abilify, trileptal is a seizure medicine so that combo works amazing for me.

I didn’t get put on adderall till I was in my 30’s. It was a fucking game changer, even my gf cried at improvement she saw in me. I was on several other stimulants before I got put on adderall. I even tried Ritalin, which helped some but not nearly as much as adderall improves my life. My doctor even gives a big dose. I’m on 50 mgs a day. He said the highest dose gives out is 60 a day.

I felt jealousy over not having babies. I told my boyfriend there is a part of me who still wants to get pregnant. And I said I know it would be selfish and dangerous to me and the baby. He said yes it would. I also said I wouldn’t even attempt to get pregnant without his ok. That would also be getting my mirena out, which I wouldn’t without his ok either. For two years I had unprotected sex with my donor, no baby. I wrote in my journal I told the universe since I was a kid, I wanted to be a mom. I mean I was raised that everything happens for a reason, my name literally means that I was told that my whole life. I guess kids were not in my life book this life anyway.

Look how fucking that smile is. I love her so much. I’m 43 and proud to be a Little Monster. One of my managers said when he first met me he wonder what my sexuality was, then he saw my Lady Gaga necklace and knew then. I love that story. I felt safe enough to tell him I was bisexual and polyamorous, and that I have a gf and boyfriend. Where I live now is very Mormon-ville, so I was weary to reveal who I really am till I trusted a few people.

I put cinnamon in my coffee and I’m drinking it with a chocolate protein shake. It’s so good.

Tomorrow is my IVIG infusion. This hospital doesn’t use the bottles they come in, when you arrive the let pharmacy know and the pharmacy put it into a little bag. So I get no bubbles. 🫧 I liked seeing the bubbles. My port Tony makes my infusions so much easier. I have an endoscopy next Friday, that will make it easier too. No iv’s for this girl. I’m getting to infusion early tomorrow so I can eat breakfast at the cafeteria and find the infusion center. It’s like on the second floor in the middle of the hospital. At the Phoenix hospital it was like 100 feet from the entrance, which was right by the parking garage, with covered parking.

I will watch the Chromatica Ball tomorrow while getting my infusion. I watch it at least once a day now. I also have to search for car dealerships, and call and make an appointment with my rheumatologist, I don’t have a follow up yet, and it’s a several month wait to get into him.

I rambled on a lot today. Ok I’m done for today. I have to finish my 2nd coffee and finish cleaning the kitchen.

[dragon-kazansky]

Pro racer Zemo AU headcanons

Here are some general headcanons for my AU that I have.

You know Zemo and Stark are rivals, but here are some of the other racers.

Stephen Strange, next best driver to the two above. Only has one accident under his belt.

John Walker, he has potential, but has a long way to go before he's considered big game. Usually way at the back.

I could also see these characters as racers though they probably won't pop up in future chapters: Quill, T'challa, Carol.

Maybe Thor and Loki? The irony 😏

Shuri would definitely be on T'challa's crew.

Zemo's crew is small, but they work well together, even if some of them bicker.

It's mostly Sam and Bucky who take care of the car, sometimes Sarah helps if Sam asks nicely.

Peter Parker is a racer wannabe. He looks up to Stark. Often brings MJ and Ned to races when he gets a chance to go. Watches it on TV if he can't go.

Stark makes his cars from scratch. He spends most of his time working on them.

Pepper Potts is his manager. She'll come up later.

Zemo, as I've stated, knows cars inside and out. He doesn't build them from scratch like Stark, but he knows how to make them better and faster.

Stark does have losses under his belt, but his success rate is much higher.

People usually come to the races to see Stark. He has the biggest fan base.

The race in my story is completely made up as my knowledge of actual racing is minimum.

So far they have attended the same race track. It's a large stadium, seats everywhere. The track is long and has many turns throughout.

To keep track of the cars, cameras are highly relied on.

Hence why reader loses sight of the cars and has to watch a screen to keep up.

It's one lap.

Though the final race will have 3.

The time span between races is literally so I can build characters and relationships.

It's the perfect bridge for plot building.

I imagine not all racers pass the finish line, but as we're focusing on Stark and Zemo, I haven't mentioned that.

When Zemo's engine gave out in the 2nd race, I imagined him sitting in his car after Tony set off again, glaring in the direction he went off in.

You can probably tell I'm slipping references into the fic.

I work in a cafe in real life, so having the reader work in one was easy.

The Redwing is a small cafe in a little town. It's peaceful and a nice place for people to meet.

Reader lives in a town far from the track, hence the travelling.

That's why it means all the more to Zemo when reader comes to watch him race.

Reader has worked there a handful of years.

Reader's boss like racing. All kinds of racing, I just imagine him being pretty sporty outside of work.

Is a fan of Zemo.

Zemo does have a fanbase, but compared to Stark's, it's a little more casual.

His lack of crowds at races will make sense in later chapters.

It just made sense to me that Zemo would have an abandoned airstrip to practise at.

The hanger is literally a garage for his race car.

Zemo has a complicated past.

There is a reason he hasn't opened up to the reader.

There is also a reason reader can't find much on him.

Reader's "friend" remains nameless through out the fic.

Originally I wasn't going to have her appear all that much, but she worked with the story I had come up with.

You may notice something change the more I write about her.

"Friend" has been to races before.

I had imagined a scenario where she had seen Stark win a race and was like "next time I'll bring reader with me."

I could see reader not being all that into it up until the point she sees Zemo at that first race.

The moment reader approaches his car that first time, I imagine them alone.

That's why Zemo looks back at his car when he walks away.

He was curious as to why anyone at all would be near his car when Stark just won the race.

That's why he pulls up next to reader afterward.

He sees friend go off to celebrate with Stark.

Reader just walks away from that.

I suppose you could say he was amazed someone wasn't fawning over the billionaire.

Zemo started missing reader right after that first meeting.

This AU was going to be a oneshot.

I got carried away.

@ajeff855 @moonstuffsteve @sky-writes-stuff @lieutenantn @lostghostgirl94 @friday18eo @yaskna @my-blood-is-maple-syrup @gingerwriter97 @lunamooney2406 @wilder-fangirl @nectav @whovianayesha @thesuitkovian @cathrin2405 @deathtothepatriarchy @belle82devart @dxrksxul06 @killeromanoff @alex-the-nb @latenightartist-author @hb8301 @goddessofmischief03 @xxidontwikeitxx @themeanestlittlewitch @scuttle-buttle @fillechatoyante

[artificial-ascension]

Murder Park

Deathnottober day 2, murder. L drags A and B to an amusement park but then someone gets murdered so they step in to solve it.

(Story time: So on October 2nd, I was out of town because we were going to an amusement park in Ohio. And I have all these prompts saved on my phone for each day by just the prompt name meaning on that day, I woke up and checked my phone and I had a notification for ‘murder.’ My brother also got that notification because Google calendar dumb. So we all joke about me scheduling a murder with Google calendar and it’s a reoccurring joke all day and then I got the bright idea to have someone be murdered at an amusement park and call it a DN fic. The wrench thing is also relevant because we were talking about wrenches in line at one point and my brother asked my dad if the big wrench in his garage could kill someone. So here we are. Also because I just don’t think we talk about L CANONICALY liking roller coasters enough.)

Alias note: A is using Alan and B is using Belvedere because I don’t think B is capable of just going by like ‘Blake’ like has to be some dramatic ass name.

@deathnotetober

A and B were both extremely pissed off. L was taking a weekend off and had decided to go to an amusement park and wanted A and B to come with him. A and B would’ve declined. However, Watari forced them to go, so now, they stood at the front of the park they didn’t even want to go to.

“Let’s go to the back of the park first to avoid lines.” L said in his monotone voice.

“Sure, whatever.” A grumbled.

B said nothing but instead stared at L menacingly.

They walked through the park, looking around at the decor, which was Halloween-themed as it was fall, much to A and B’s liking as it was their favorite holiday, and seeing the park decked out in skeletons and other spooky things made them a bit happier. They got to a ride in the very back, and L was right, no line. They kept doing that until about mid-day when the lines were sufficiently long no matter where they went. Now they had to stand in line and wait. After they were finished waiting, they sat down for a drink as it was sweltering out, and poor albino A was wearing long sleeves. Plus, they’d been walking or standing for 1 ½ hours with the only times to sit being on rollercoasters where they were constantly tossed around at high speeds.

After their break, they pushed on, being dragged around by L the entire time. Both of them were considering killing him somehow, but that would make A the new L, and he wasn’t ready for that. They ate lunch after a while, which was actually quite enjoyable. Then they rode more rides. At about 6:30, they were in line for the last rollercoaster on their list. The sun was setting, and the air was cooling, much to A’s happiness.

“This time, I get to sit next to A.” B asserted. B’s least favorite part of this was that rollercoasters tend to pair people in groups of 2 or 4, not 3. He was the one who had to sit next to strangers seeing as L always wanted to sit beside A even though A was HIS boyfriend.

“Mhm… yes sure….” L hardly acknowledged B as he was too busy inspecting some of the bolts keeping the ride anchored to the concrete ground.

Once they were on the ride, it was dark, and they got to see the park at night. The lights were lit up, and fog machines covered it in a hazy mist giving it an early look. It was quite the sight. Once they were down, they got to enjoy nighttime on the ground. They walked back to a plaza that contained A’s favorite decorations, a creepy pirate ship. The fog was very thick there, and employees were walking around dressed as zombie pirates scaring people. Three of them all decided that if they were jump scared, they’d either kick the person or cry, so they all walked around the fog cloud. 

This proved to be a good idea as when they were walking away; they heard a blood-curdling scream. Which, considering a bunch of people were being jump scared, that shouldn’t be too weird. However, A recognized the screaming voice as an employee, who were quite easy to identify even by voice as they were yelling complete jibberish rather than screaming in fear like the other park goers. A turned his head to the sound just in time to see another employee come out of the fog screaming incoherently. B gripped L’s hand in fear as his acute sense of smell picked up the strong tang of blood in the air.

“L,” B trembled, “I smell blood.”

“I think we’ve witnessed a crime.” L said, trying to sound nonchalant but B sounding slightly afraid and A clinging to his side made it hard for him not to be scared because, after all, A and B were not easily frightened.

L stepped back a bit and pulled A close to him. On the other hand, B had remembered he was a Wammys kid, so this was no time for him, of all people, to be scared. Although, he was just a bit fearful that the killer would come after them next. Though that was not the case as once the chaos died down and someone turned on the fog machine to see what had happened, they saw a gruesome scene in front of them with no killer in sight.

A corpse of a young woman laid there, her head smashed in from the side pouring blood and brain matter onto the pavement. Guests screamed in disgust, and the street devolved into complete chaos until park security came and roped the area off. L, A, and B had watched the entire scene play out and stepped forwards after everyone had calmed down.

“Excuse me,” L said, raising a hand, “We three happen to be detectives. We can handle this.” 

The park security was more than suspicious at that claim until L pulled out a fake FBI badge he kept on him for times like these, “We’re FBI. Child prodigies. We’d like to take a look at this crime scene.”

The security members looked at each other for a moment, then decided to take L’s word and let them inspect the body. B knelt next to the corpse and examined the wound, putting his forensics and CSI training to good use. L and A stood by waiting for an opinion from B, considering he was one of the few kids who specialized in forensic pathology rather than actual deductive work.

“Alan, what do you think?” L asked with his thumb placed on his lip.

A raised an eyebrow at his alias being used but answered non the less, “I think we need to question the employees and people she was here with, but more importantly, not let anyone leave the park.”

“And why do you say that?” L prodded some more. He already knew why A’d make that call; he just wanted to make sure A knew why he made that call.

“Checking with the employees is obvious along with interviewing the people she was herewith. Making sure no one leaves the park is so we don’t lose any suspects. I’m mostly interested in keeping the employees here, though.” A said coldly.

“Oh,” L turned his head to A, “And why employees?”

“It’s just- a shot in the dark… is all….” A trailed off. A had an issue with making claims with no basis and wild leaps of faith during investigations. He knew L didn’t operate like that, but it was just in his nature to do it.

“Well, Alan is right.” B interrupted as he stood up, “This wound was made by a hard, slim object hitting the skull with tremendous force. My suggestion would be a wrench and a large one at that.”

“Right… And no one brings wrenches to an amusement park unless they need to work on something, which points to an employee who works in Maintenence or, at the very least, has access to a tool room.” A said, looking back to L for approval.

“Yes, that’s what I’d say s the most likely conclusion.” L said calmly.

A smiled, knowing L thought his deduction was correct, “So then we should question the employees here?” A asked.

“Yes, you work on that while I speak to her part members. Belvedere, you keep looking at the corpse.” L said, referring to B using his alias as well.

B was a little angry he was being demoted to corpse inspection, but he was fine with that. He enjoyed the dead bodies. A took a deep breath and approached the employees who were dressed up at the time and spoke to them all, trying to get as much information out of them as possible. Likewise, L spoke to the girl’s party. Afterward, the two met up again to discuss.

“So, what did you get?” A asked.

“She was a college student from out of town here with her boyfriend, who is also not from this area. She had no contacts here, so there’s n reason anyone in the area should have a grudge against her. And you?” L responded, immediately assuming A was looking for connections, which he was.

“The employees say everyone who works in this part of the park has access to at least one tool room, so no one is ruled out except for the few who were out in costume as they wouldn’t have had time to retrieve a wrench while working here. It is to be noted, however, that the employee who screamed when the corpse was discovered had a reputation among the others as a bit of a promiscuous lady, so plenty of other employees had a reason to hate her, considering the relationship drama. That, combined with what you said, makes me believe that an upset coworker killed our victim accidentally while the real target was the employee who first discovered the body.” A said proudly.

“Impressive….” L mumbled, “Now we just need to find who did it from our list of suspects.”

“Right, I think we should figure out what size wrench killed her. Considering not everyone has access to every tool room, and each one contains different tools for each ride.” A turned to B, “Any idea as to what size wrench we’re dealing with, Belvedere?”

“Judging from my measurements, it should be a… 4? I would fit what I believe is roughly a 3 inch bolt. That’s what Google told me.” B shrugged.

A and L scowed at him.

“I’m GAY. I don’t know anything about tools!” B yelled.

The two of them rolled their eyes, “Well, what ride would use that size?” A asked.

“The ride we were just on, of course. The paint was chipped around the bolts at the bottom of the ride in a way that resembled the marks left by a wrench. This is unlike the other bolts on other rides, which are painted over perfectly, meaning only that one was receiving constant maintenance. Conveniently, those bolts were 3 inches in diameter.” L stated his own deduction this time without having A explain his thoughts—this time, A mentally kicked himself for not noticing that minor detail. He shouldn’t have, but he didn’t while L did. Just another way, L was still much better than him.

“Ah, perfect!” A turned to the employees, “Are there any people who work on that ride,” A pointed to it as he did not know its name, “Who would have a grudge against our intended victim?”

“Well, Steve would. He’s kind of a creep. If it were anyone, it’d be him.” one of them said.

A turned back at L and smiled. L nodded his head in approval. They had a suspect, just in time too, the cops had arrived, and the three reported their findings before leaving. The park had to be closed early, but it was starting to rain, so they didn’t want to stick around. L bought the two of them some things from the shops, and they all went back to their hotel.

“So A, noticed you were pretty scared there.” B teased.

“Shut up, so were you.” A replied.

“You both had a good reason to be. I’ll admit even I was startled by such an event.” L said.

“Whatever… I was scared. But I had you two, so I’m fine.” A rolled over, trying to hide his blush.

“Aw, you trust us to protect you? That’s adorable. I’m touched.” B placed a hand on his heart.

L sat down next to the two of them on the bed, “B, you were trembling, so really I was the one protecting you two.” “Yes, it’s a miracle we all made it.” B rolled his eyes.

“You’re very ungrateful. I saved your life back there, you know.” L was joking, but it seemed hard to tell with his monotone. Though A and B could tell, seeing as they were used to it.

 A hugged L, “Well, I’m grateful.” he said before kissing L on the cheek and then laying down, “Good night. I’m tired.” 

L touched his cheek as his face went a bit pink, “Good night, A….” 

“I’m also tired.” B said before crawling under his blanket, “Good night, L.”

“Good night, Beyond.” L moved to get off their bed, but A stopped him.

“L,” A asked, “Could you sleep in our bed? To protect us?” A said in a half-joking manner.

L understood what A meant, though, and climbed in between the two. A curled up against him immediately. B took a minute before deciding he also wanted to cuddle and nuzzled into L’s back.

In the morning, L was watching the morning news before A and B woke up. The story of the amusement park murder came on, and he learned that Steve had been arrested where he confessed to the murder. A was right in his deduction, aside from the small part where L had figured out the ride staff to look at. However, that was a very small detail, though he hoped A didn’t beat himself up over it. Either way, they both did a fine job solving it. L turned off the tv and laid back down between his two succors, deciding to get some more time in with them before he had to leave them again.

[mcwriting]

The Marriage Project (7)

IT’S FINALLY HERE! MY FAVORITE CHAPTER OF THIS SERIES!!! Consider it a little Christmas gift from me to y’all :) there’s plenty more to come, but I loveee the vibes of this one so much

Story Masterlist

Word Count: 3491

Warnings: Some language but I’m pretty sure that’s it

% approximately the end of the 2nd week of October %

You stood on the Holland’s front porch Sunday afternoon holding a rust red jumpsuit over one shoulder and your volleyball bag on the other. 

It was nippy out, probably 50-something fahrenheit, but you’d tucked your long sleeved jersey into some black sweats and tossed on your letterman. You had decided to wear your favorite jersey, which was black except for the stripe down each sleeve in your school colors and the white words and number on the torso.

Since you were taking pictures, you straightened your hair again and put on some light makeup to complete the look.

Paddy opened the front door, looking star struck.

“Oh, hey Paddy. How are you?”

He stared up at you, flustered.

“I, um. Good?”

You gave a big smile.

“Good to hear. Mind if I come in? It’s kinda cold out.”

“Oh, yeah. Sure.”

He stepped out of the way and shut the door behind you. Inside, Tom was running around frantically, grabbing various clothing items and stuffing them in a bag. He noticed you as he passed by.

“Hey, y/n. Sorry, just trying to get all my football stuff together. It just came out of the dryer.”

You watched in amusement as he rushed back and forth. Nikki came and stood next to you.

“I love my sons, but they can be a real mess sometimes,” she joked. “Let's go put your things in the car while he gets himself together.”

You set the bag in the back of her SUV and hung the jumpsuit hanger on a loop to prevent it from wrinkling. You were talking in the garage when Tom burst through the door, a duffel bag on his shoulder.

“Okay, sorry. I couldn’t find one of my cleats,” he explained, tossing his own bag in the back. He didn’t yet put on his uniform since the pads would get uncomfortable, so Tom just wore some jeans and a tee for the ride.

“Y/n, do you want to hop in front? I’m sure Tom wouldn’t mind,” Nikki said, raising her eyebrows at her son.

“Are you sure? I don’t mind either way.”

“It’s fine. We can just switch on the way home,” Tom replied. You found it odd that he didn’t press but assumed it had something to do with his mom standing nearby.

With that, you loaded up and started the hour long drive. The time passed quickly as you conversed with Nikki, telling her about your plans for after high school. In the backseat, Tom dabbed a little bit of his mom's foundation over the still-discolored parts of his cheek.

Eventually, you got to a small neighborhood and pulled up to a cute cabin. As you and Tom retrieved your things from the trunk, an elderly couple appeared on the front porch.

“Hey, mom. Hey, dad,” Nikki began, hugging them. She gestured to you, “This is y/n. You might recognize her from Tom’s soccer games and some academic things, she’s on the girls team and very smart.”

You blushed at the compliments.

“Why, yes, I have seen you. It’s nice to meet you, dear. Just call us grandma and grandpa,” Nikki’s mother said as you were shaking hands with her husband. 

She walked up and enveloped you in a hug. As you awkwardly wrapped your own arms around her, you looked over her shoulder to find Tom shrugging sheepishly at you.

She pulled away, holding you at an arm's length.

“Well you are just the prettiest thing, aren’t you?” You blushed at her kindness and thanked her. “Now what are we all doing standing around out here? Come on in! I made cookies while you were on the way so they’re still warm.”

She ushered everyone in, Tom holding open the screen door for the group. Tom directed you to a spare room to set down your bags and hang your jumpsuit while Nikki got her camera things together.

You were sat around the dining room eating cookies discussing the afternoon’s timeline. You and Tom would take your sports pictures, then everyone would eat around five, and then you’d go back out in regular clothes for golden hour at around six.

After a few minutes, Nikki finished getting her lens ready.

“Okay. Tom, why don’t you go put on your football uniform and meet us down at the dock. Y/n, do you need to get anything else for your volleyball pictures?”

You answered yes, walking with Tom to the room to grab your volleyball shoes and ball. You were waiting to take off your sweatpants until you got outside for two reasons: it was cold, and you felt weird about walking around his grandparents’ house in only spandex shorts.

The dock wasn’t far, you could see it from the top of the wooden staircase built into the side of the hill the cabin sat on.

You and Nikki conversed as you walked down, discussing ideas of poses and where you’d stand.

You shimmied out of your sweats once you got to the dock, draping them over a metal chair covered in dead leaves. The cold air gave your legs goosebumps, but you sucked it up. You were just glad you’d remembered to shave your legs above anything else. 

Nikki directed you around some trees, had you toss your hair over your shoulder, and took a few pictures with you in your letterman. It had been about 15 minutes when Tom came down in his football gear, helmet and ball in hand.

“Oh, perfect. Tom, would you mind tossing some leaves for me? I have a neat idea for a shot.”

She had you stand in front of the water and palm the volleyball as Tom sent a handful of leaves in the air around you. You tried a few with a serious expression and some while laughing. After a few more shots that included you sitting on the dock, she had Tom jump in next to you.

“Okay, y/n, I want you to stand with the ball on your right side like that, and then Tom, get on her left and hold the helmet by the facemask,” she pointed around, guiding you. “Good! Okay now y/n, put your weight on your left leg and Tom, raise your chin. Serious faces people!” 

There were clicks and flashes as she continued to direct you in slightly different poses. One cool shot had each of you palming your respective sports balls in front of you.

“Okay, are you good with those, y/n? Is there anything else you want in your jersey before I start working on Tom’s?” 

You shook your head and gestured for her to move on with Tom’s pictures. By now your legs were used to the cold, so you refrained from putting your sweats back on, instead just standing behind Nikki watching Tom model like he’d been doing it his whole life.

Oh right… he has

His mom and he worked together well, as if they were reading each other’s minds. 

You studied the way Tom looked. After all these years, you’d never really looked at him intently enough to see the way he filled out his uniform so well. 

His biceps bulged when he moved his arms to flex for a couple shots, and the tight pants and pads around his legs gave the illusion of massive thigh muscles. As you looked back up, his necklace caught your eye. 

He hadn’t tucked it in completely, instead letting it dangle over his jersey, the red “ruby” glinting in the afternoon sunlight. You smiled at the fact he’d left it on, then looked down at your own hand. You’d forgotten to take yours off, too.

Would it be noticeable in the pictures? Was there a possibility family members would start asking if you’d secretly gotten engaged when you eventually shared the shots online? Maybe, but you decided it wasn’t a big enough deal to worry about. Some had already pestered you Friday at dinner.

You didn’t realize how long you’d been out there when a cowbell began ringing from above you. 

“Oh! That’s mom. Dinner must be about ready. Let’s head back up. I think we got enough, Tom,” Nikki explained.

She started heading up the stairs as you grabbed your ball and sweats, and Tom was waiting for you at the bottom, holding his jersey and pads so he was only left in a compression shirt on top. He started up a few steps ahead of you. 

Woah. His ass looks really nice in those pants was the first thought that popped into your head when you looked up. Oh wait. Shit, what am I saying?

You tried to avoid looking as you continued up the hill. By the time you reached the top, Nikki was already entering the house and Tom was again waiting for you. You passed right by him when he spoke up.

“You’re really gonna go in the house like that?”

You stopped and turned back to face him.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you really want to walk into the home of my elderly grandparents with your ass hanging out?”

Right. The whole point of the sweats.

You set the volleyball down while you pulled them on.

“Now I’m not going to say that I minded the view or anything but-” you slapped him in the chest before you tugged on the waistband, hopping a little to make them sit just right and tightening the strings, then picked your ball off the ground.

“Don’t be talking about my ass that way! Nasty.”

“Sorry, sorry, I had to say it.” He put his hands up in mock surrender.

“Well if you’re gonna say that, then I’m allowed to do this,” you said, right before giving him a light slap on his own butt and darting to the house.

“Ohhh, I’ll get you for that!” he cried, following you in.

You were both chattering as you entered the dining room, where Nikki and her parents were setting up the tableware.

“Alrighty, we have some roast chicken and potatoes and green beans tonight. Hope you all enjoy!” the older woman said before sitting down. The smell made your stomach growl quietly.

You all made up plates and chowed down. Tom’s grandpa sat at the head of the table, with his wife and daughter on his left, and Tom and you on the right.

You and Tom were talking about school things when his grandma addressed you.

“So, y/n. How long have you and Tom been dating?” 

You furrowed your brows, then looked between Tom and her, an awkward tension filling the room.

“Um, grandma… she isn’t my girlfriend,” Tom said for you. You gave him a light squeeze on the thigh to signify thanks.

“Oh! Oh my goodness I had no idea! You two just seemed so close that I just assumed you were together. Sorry about that!”

You talked a little bit longer as you finished dinner, but now things felt a little uncomfortable. 

What were we doing that seemed couple-y? Could they see our little spat outside?

You took your plates to the kitchen before heading back with Tom to change into your other clothes. Since it was already almost six, you both just changed in the room, backs to each other.

You slid out of your sweats and tugged off the jersey, leaving on the spandex shorts under your jumpsuit since they didn’t show through. It was sleeveless, so you needed to change into a different bra. You glanced behind you quickly to make sure Tom was still turned around.

He was, but he was butt ass naked. You turned back towards the wall quickly, eyes wide. You assumed it had to do with the fact he wore a jockstrap under his uniform, but dear God did he have to take off everything at once?

You were scarred to say the least.

You ripped off one bra and fumbled to put the other one on before sliding the shoulder straps of your outfit on all the way. By the time you were done, Tom was at least wearing jeans and tugging on a white tee.

You finally slipped on some wedges and refixed your hair in the mirror. 

“Ready to head down?” you asked.

“Why don’t you go on without me. I’ll be down here in a few. I need to restyle my hair,” he explained, sliding his own letterman jacket on. 

You accepted that and headed back outside and down the steps where Nikki was waiting, shooting pictures of the lake.

“Oh, I love that color on you, it compliments the autumn theme well,” Nikki said as you began taking pictures. Eventually Tom appeared, too. He had another shirt in hand for when he was done with his letter jacket.

You let them take those pictures real quick, and then Tom changed, buttoning up a flannel that’s colors matched your own outfit. You were sitting on the dock balcony posing when Tom appeared next to his mother, who noticed the coordination immediately.

“This is amazing! Tom, go stand in front of y/n and cross your arms, and y/n, drape an arm over his shoulder… uh huh just like that… yes that’s good!” she directed you.

Tom helped you hop down after a few different shots and you went to stand with Nikki as she took more photos of her son.

The sun was setting quickly, so she was about to call it a night.

“Okay, you two, I just need you to get together for a couple final pictures. Act like you like each other for at least a few minutes.”

You couldn’t help but snort as you stepped up next to Tom, him putting an arm over your shoulder as your arm snaked around his waist. She was taking pictures when Tom muttered out the corner of his mouth,

“Your hand’s a little close there.”

Knowing exactly what he meant, you slid your hand down his back, resting it on top of his butt.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you feigned innocence. 

He gave you a look that said “I’m onto you,” so you did what any rational person would do in that scenario. 

You squeezed his buttcheek. 

It must have scared him or tickled or something, because he about jumped from his skin, jaw dropped.

“Oh I’ll get you for that now!” he exclaimed, picking you up and tossing you over his shoulder.

You squealed and laughed and kicked your legs as one hand traveled along your waist tickling you. In the chaos, you didn’t notice the rapid clicks of the camera shutter. He kept you off the ground for a few more seconds before finally setting you down carefully.

“Rethinking that now?” he asked, eyebrows raised in amusement as you stared up at him, pouting. 

“I’d do it again just to see your jaw hit the floor honestly.”

He rolled his eyes when some lights around the deck kicked on, not adding much brightness to the darkening sky.

“Well that looks like our cue to wrap things up. The lights going up the stairs won’t be much better, and I don’t want anyone to fall,” Nikki explained.

Once again, she headed up first, leaving the two of you somewhat alone. Now that it was dark, the air made you grab your upper arms and shiver.

“Here, put this on,” Tom said, holding up his letter jacket.

“Oh, I’m fine. It’ll only take a minute to get to the house.”

“No seriously, you look like you’re freezing. Plus, I won’t have to carry it,” he joked.

You rolled your eyes and snatched it from his hand, sliding your bare arms into the sleeves. His jacket was at least a size bigger than yours, so it basically swallowed you. He chuckled.

“Come on. I don’t want you getting lost up the stairs since you’ve practically disappeared under my jacket.”

He put his hand between your shoulder blades, guiding you to step ahead of him as the darkness began to set in.

% 

You’d changed back into your sweats and put on a tee and your own letter jacket and were now loading up Nikki’s car to head back home. 

After walking back to the house, you had all sat around and visited a bit longer until realizing it was half past nine and there was an hour’s drive ahead of you.

“Come back anytime, dear. You were a real delight,” Nikki’s mom said, squeezing you into another hug. 

“Thank you, grandma. I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Will you be at Tom’s senior night here in a few weeks? I’d love to see you there,” she said, holding your hands in hers.

“Yeah, I always try to go to the games. I’m hoping to be on homecoming court this year, too, so fingers crossed.”

“Oh, sweetie, if they don’t vote you queen, I’ll personally come count the votes myself,” she joked, shaking her head. 

You laughed and after final goodbyes, climbed into the back seat, expecting Tom to go up front. Instead, he slid into the other side of the back row.

“You can sit up front, Tom. I’m happy to stay back here,” you explained, showing that you’d already buckled in.

“Oh it’s alright. I’ve already sat down, we can both stay.”

You again found it odd that he was willing to do so, but didn’t push the matter.

Having spent most of the afternoon with Tom’s family, you hadn’t looked at your phone much as not to seem rude, so you immediately began responding to snaps and scrolling through social media.

Tom, on the other hand, was watching Tiktoks. 

“Hey, watch this,” he said, unbuckling his seat belt and sliding into the middle spot next to you, refastening himself in.

“You could have just given me your phone,” you said, eyebrows raised.

“Like I could trust you with that.”

He handed over an AirPod and you watched together, laughing. He continued to scroll through his for you page while you looked on. 

After a while, your neck became strained, so you resorted to leaning your head on his shoulder. He didn’t say anything, instead only tilting his cheek to rest on your head as you continued in silence. 

A little bit later, he left the app and went to Spotify, turning on a playlist containing songs with soft beats that made you sleepy. 

You didn’t realize how tired you really were until you were being shaken awake by your nemesis, sitting up straight in realization of what happened. 

“Hey, we’re about to pull into my neighborhood,” he whispered. You just nodded in response, trying to compose yourself.

Nikki pulled into the garage and you began collecting your things from the back.

“Y/n, would you like to stay in the guest room tonight? It’s almost eleven and I wouldn’t want you to feel unsafe going home.”

You thought about it for a moment before realizing you had no extra clothes and well… Tom.

“Oh that’s alright, my house is only 10 minutes away. Thank you though,” you told her as the three of you entered the home. 

Nikki said her goodbyes and disappeared up the stairs for the third time that day, once again leaving you and Tom alone.

“Why don’t I walk you to your car?” Tom offered, opening the front door. You unlocked the car and Tom opened the back door for you to set your things in it. You were about to leave when something popped into your mind.

“Thanks again for clarifying to your grandma earlier. I didn’t want to break her heart but I wasn’t sure how to let her down nicely. She seemed so excited,” you explained.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m pretty sure she would have asked any girl the same question. But she really did like you, grandpa too. He doesn’t quite show it like her.”

“That’s sweet. I enjoyed hanging out with them this evening, and the food was incredible.”

“She does make some of the best food you’ll ever eat, but you should taste grandpa’s grilled steaks. Those are a real treat.”

“Well, you’ll have to bring me again some time. Oh, and thanks for letting me use you as a pillow in the car. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

You knew your face had turned pink, but you could see Tom’s redden as well.

“Don’t mention it. I actually ended up sleeping for a little bit, too.”

A silence fell around you, so you eventually said your goodbyes and hopped into your driver’s seat. 

You watched in your rearview mirror as Tom stayed standing on his sidewalk until you had driven a few yards off, eventually meandering back to the house.

There was a familiar flutter in your stomach as your lips turned up into a smile.

Maybe he’s not as bad as I always thought.

%

A/N: omg I’m so happy to finally post this y’all have no idea. Hope you enjoyed! As always, feel free to send asks about anything or just say hi!

Send a message or ask if you’d like to be added to my permanent or series taglists so I can verify you’ve been added!

Story tag list: @jackiehollanderr, @one-big-fangirl, @l0lmk, @primadonnasdream, @bookworm06, @thenoddingbunny-blog, @agentnataliahofferson, @spider-babe, @stxfxniexreads,

[shesawriter39049]

|7 DEEP| M| MASTERLIST|

SMUT/ANGST/FLUFF/POLY AU 

AU SUMMARY- Your husband Namjoon and yourself run a successful Adult Film Entertainment Company called “Onyx” with your 5 best friends from college who you also happen to be in an open relationship with! This is a candid in-depth look at the rollercoaster ride that is your life!

ALSO LOWKEY A RAGS TO RICHES STORY.....

Namjoon, Yoongi, Jin, Tae, Hoseok, and Jimin, all already work with the OC and Joon, Kookie comes in later one as a new hire...and the possible final piece…

DISCLAIMER: Obv this is a poly so the boys are Bi..but outside of kissing and dirty talk I have not YET ventured into physical MXM….

NOTE- As long as this keeps getting support the initial plan is 7 one-shots, one for each boys. Everyone installment will have smut as well as a overall storyline, one that not only ties into your job, but also the OC’s (AKA YOU) special dynamic with each individual member. The last one-shot (7th) will be the first and maybe only one where smut wise it’s all 7 of them, it will finally address how they all came together, and will be partially a flashback sequence. HOWEVER, there will be bits and pieces of the “Characters” lives and what not sprinkled within the “drabbles” too...so those will also be worth reading especially, as the story developes....or at least reading the summaries! 

Kookie will make appearances throughout, however, he is NOT as involved off rip as the other boys…

ONE-SHOTS SO FAR :

AFTER-HOURS- NAMJOON X OC (Tae comes in at the end) - 

ABOUT- Your husband and business partner find you up way past acceptable work hours for the 3rd night in a row! So, daddy has to step in and remind you that’s not something we do in this household. You come before work, in every sense of the phrase!

OR-You're in desperate need of a 2nd videographer/editor, because Yoongi’s in over his fucking head! So here you are, up at 1 AM scrolling through resumes because your that boss that hates to overwork her employees so she overworks herself!

AKA- “MEET THE KIMS” 

PRETTY PLEASE- TAEHYUNG X OC - ( Joon comes in at the end)

About- Tae fucks you on top of your receptionist's desk before you fire her…

Or- Tae’s feeling a little needy...and somewhat high-key self continuous about you possibly hiring a new production assistant...AKA...Jungkook. It seems as though Mr. Kim takes pride in being the youngest within the office! It seems as though your baby boy just needs a little..reassurance…

JIN & CHOCOLATE- JIN X OC (FT A lil Seok at the end ) - 

(5K SMUT WITH A SIDE OF PLOT! NOT JIN’S INTRO CHAPTER) 

About-You suck Jin off…and brownie batter may or may not be somewhat involved because why the fuck not. Oh, Hoseok comes over to drop off weed…and welll….doesn't exactly leave

Or- His assistants birthday is tomorrow and she’s insisted on him making his infamous “Dizzy Brownies” AKA…pot brownies and Jin being the perfectionist he is, scrapes the first batch. You however, think they’re fine and if he’s not gonna bake with said  batter you’ll find use for some of it…..Then Hosoek stops by to bring the missing ingredient…weed and his dick…

TOUCH ME , TEASE ME- NAMJOON X OC 

(5K, IN COLORATION TO THE EVENTS THAT WILL TAKE PLACE IN “GOT ME LOOSIN’ ALL MY COOL)

About- Namjoon eats you out the minute you walk in the door because well…that’s the kinda husband he is!

Or- Jimin text’s Namjoon to brace him for the mood you’ll more than likely be in after a day full of drama and finally firing the front desk receptionist! Which essentially red for him to make you come hard AF and then feed you….OH, and You guys invite Yoongi over to talk about the Tae and Kookie “Thing”

PRIVATE SHOW- TAE X OC (NEW) 

(5k, Holiday esque one-shot however for the 1st time it does dive into the downside of being in a poly relationship that’s essentially a secret in the publics eye) 

About-Just a casual lunch outing where Tae’s trying to do his job and your trying to get him off under the table with your shoe...nothing new!

OR- Tae and yourself are grabbing lunch at 71 Above, after checking out the last couple of venues for the company's end of the year Holiday party. While at said restaurant, it becomes a humbling reminder that the most important people in your life are essentially a secret...cute!

 UP AND COMING: In no particular order! 

MUTED- YOONGI X OC (SIDE JIN)- HIATUS

Note, this is more of a smut drabble though it will be around 3k...this is NOT Yoongi/Jin’s official “Introduction” if that makes sense….(SNEAK PEEK IS LINKED) 

About-Yoongi goes down on you in the back seat while you’re on a business call….Jin’s driving, lowkey watching..and being a little shit the entire time…

Or- You’re on the phone with a dick of an investor and a second away from losing your shit and calling off the entire deal…however…your boys decide to “distract” you. Give you a little something to keep you at ease so you don’t blow this 6 figure account…

MAKE ME PROUD- JIMIN X OC (ALL THE MEMBERS ARE IN THIS BRIEFLY)

About-  Jimin and yourself take a trip to get a sneak peek at “Filter” before it opens… and Jimin fucks you on top of the bartop…

Or- Jimin’s ready to make his first solo big boy investment….AKA...opening up his own Gay club in WeHo...and the new business venture also reopen’s old wounds about his past. Both good and bad..but at the end of the day he remembers he wouldn’t the version of himself that he’s oh so proud of...without a little someone named “Y/N” 

 “PARTY FAVORS”- YOONGI X OC- 

About- You and Yoongi get a little one on one time while in Amsterdam, IE getting completely stoned, and attending a sex show..hell maybe even joining in on a sex show...shit just get’s wild in the Dam!

OR- You and your boys jet out to Amsterdam for the weekend to celebrate 16 AVN award nominations (AKA THE TONY’S/GRAMMY’S OF PORN) and while high and in a country where nobody knows who you are...(which means Yoongi and yourself are free to do as you please even in public)....Yoongi admits for the first time that sometimes he feels a type of way that HE wasn’t the one that married you considering the two of you were a thing FIRST....

“CHAMPAGNE SHOWERS” - JIN X OC (Side Namjoon)- NEW 

About- Jin says he's coming over to discuss business over brunch, champagne, and a nice Jacuzzi bath…which, of course, leads to more than just talk about “Finances and portfolio expansions” 

OR: Jin’s the eldest, he loves control, he needs control, hints why he’s the finical controller..always has been...even in the domestic sense. Jin’s also shit at feelings he’s used to being the shoulder to cry on not needing the shoulder..he’s not used to feeling vulnerable...so it’s not to easiest for him to admit that he misses being the one you all come home too...misses being “needed”! He’s used to being the one that has his shit together, being the glue that’s held you lot together during your worst times..so this...is completely out of his comfort zone!

“ALL EYES ON ME”  - HOSEOK X OC (FT OT7)-  NEW 

About- Hoseok and yourself have sex in a very questionable place while at the launch party for ‘Spectrum” I.E. your newest business venture...sex toys…your man deserves a little…”Thank you” for all the work he’s put in...including planning this party!

OR- Hoseok’s in over his fuckin head, he’s the one essentially spearheading the launch of “Spectrum” which is obviously his job as the head of Marketing, tactical ETC, however, this is just..different...he’s literally the one steering the boat. He’s good at what he does he knows this, he’s fucking made for it...but...it;s still’ bringing out some old, nasty insecurities...reminding him how he's his own worst critic...a perfectionist to the fault. Reminding them of those days where he never thought he was good enough...and it would absolutely break him if he lets you lot down! 

“GOT ME LOOSIN’ ALL MY COOL) -KOOK X READER | JIMIN X READER (SMUT) FT- YOONGI & TAE

About- Jimin and yourself take Jungkook shopping for a new suit to wear to the “Spectrum” launch party! OH, and Jimin fucks you in the backseat of your truck in the parking garage of the mall…..

OR: You know Kookie still in that “Broke college grad” phase only being with the company barley a month, and you don’t want him to feel self-conscious at the event! You’ve also been too busy to really check in with him to see how he’s adjusting! So, you thought something like this, in a more laxed atmosphere, would be a good solution! Oh and Jimin, honestly he’s just nosey as fuck and inched himself along, like nobody really invited him he invited his damn self! Also Jungook can’t underatand why the fuck your all so damn attractive...like...why!?

AKA-MEET JUNGKOOK JEON

SNEAK PEEK 

***

THE “FINAL” ONE-SHOT,  IS NOT FULLY OUTLINED YET

******

FINAL NOTE-

This series is open to request...for one-shot/ member scenarios/drabbles.

The initial 7 one-shots are done to get the dynamic and I guess you could say “Plot” set in stone...however, once that’s done and in-between I’m open to random scenarios as long as it somewhat coincides with the “Universe”

This is a story that follows normal day to day life in a sense....they just happen to live a very exciting one!

Anything from them going grocery shopping and making dinner...all the way to the OC and one of the boys fooling around on set...as long as it fits the vibe. I’m down!

   *** To clarify as well...publicly ( And in the workplace) the world just knows your married to Namjoon....the whole poly situation is not something blasted on your Wiki...at least not yet....***

(Optional)

***POSTIONS’S WITHIN THE COMPANY*** 

(Obv things are spread out now and they have other employees but they all STILL oversee multiple jobs...It’s a habit now. For so many years they couldn’t afford the help! So, now that they can they’ve just become a little...protective of said job duties..) 

Y/n Kim(26)- CEO/Founder/HR/Storyboard/Content  creator/Directory/Scriptwriter/Talent scout/ALL OF THE ABOVE (Set design, DVD author, 2nd Location manager, etc)   

Namjoon Kim (26)- CEO/ Founder/ Director/ Content analyst/ Lead scriptwriter/ Sr Production manger/ ALL OF THE ABOVE (IT, web design, outreach, etc)

Yoongi Min (27)- Head digital producer/ Program/site Planner/Production manager/Sound engineer/Production scheduler

Taehyung Kim (24)-Executive Assistant/ Content admin/ location manager/Wardrobe assistant/backup talent scout & health liaison

Seokjin Kim (28)- Senior Accountant/ Sales manager/ Financial controller/Logistics/Operations

Jimin Park (25)- Head talent scout/ Model Liaison/ Wardrobe/ Hair & Makeup coordinator/ Onset assistant/Health Liaison

Hoseok Jung (26)- Social media/ Streaming manager/Tactical marketer/ Advertising/event manager/PR

NOW HIRING: FOR A VIDEO EDITOR/IMAGE PROCESSOR/SOUND EDITOR/SECONDARY PHOTOGRAPHER AKA-

 “PRODUCTION COORDINATOR“

....WELCOME TO ONYX!

[animeraider]

My Kevin Gilbert Story, and my latest single.

As some of you know I’ve had a few brushes with the “big break” that many in my line of work crave. I was signed to a major label in the early 1990s, and the record I turned in was shelved. The label wanted me to be the “next Michael Penn” and by that point not even Mr. Penn was interested in that, let alone me. I had three songs picked up for a movie, which was never released. I got out of my record contract and signed with another label, releasing an album that included 5 songs from the one that was shelved. The label put no money behind it. I had a big hit in 2009 and signed a European distribution deal, which fell apart when the married couple who ran the business fell into a messy divorce. I sold thousands and thousands of records in Eastern Europe – which were being sold by pirates. It took several years to get that fixed.

I had an audition that everyone felt I was a lock for to play keyboards for a Japanese band that had a huge following. My flight to the audition was supposed to be September 12, 2001. I actually watched the plane I was supposed to board land as it was the last flight grounded. I’ve done some engineering and performing I don’t get to tell anyone about – the NDA’s are pretty strong. One of my songs became the theme to a German Television show.

But let me tell you the story of a relationship I almost had with a multi-Grammy-winning star who soared high and made it further than I have, whose song I have made a cover of and released as a single today.

So where to begin. First of all, yes, I knew Kevin Gilbert. No, we weren’t friends, but we were colleagues and classmates. We performed together a few times – all of if school related. That’s it. Oh, and he invited me to a jam session he was going to have once and I turned him down. I’ll get to that.

Believe it or not, I have to tell this story starting in the middle. There was once a band called Toy Matinee. I loved that band. Clever songs, well written melodies, a sense of darkness and a sense of fun. It was a band that me and my roommate Max could agree on and we cranked that album loud and often. We went and saw them live at the Troubadour in Los Angeles, and were about 10 feet from the stage. This is NOT the live album released in 1999, but I can tell you they rocked the place that night. Played almost every song from the album, and did an encore of Elton John’s “Funeral for a Friend/Love Lies Bleeding” that smoked.

A great night.

Now I jump into the past, to tell the tale of the UCLA Synthesizer Ensemble. It was the brainchild of Professor Roger Bourland, who at the time was only in his 2nd year as a professor at the school and would later become dean of the department. He searched out the most rock and roll musicians in what was mostly a stuffy classical music department. Me. Dave Koz. Joel Harnel. And this kid named Kevin. The five of us took another student’s source material and arranged up a musical. Straight musical theater and full of schlock, and all performed on synthesizers. We eventually put on four shows, with the five of us in the orchestra pit. I wrote the show-stopper ballad and a Latin inspired piece. I hate to say it, but I no longer remember what everyone else did, although I remember Dave mostly for his EWI playing and Joel for multiple reasons – including the fact that he wrote and arranged all of the drum parts.

I knew Joel fairly well – we had played together a few times and he was even more rock and roll than me, with more experience. Dave Koz was, even then, Dave Koz. The only saxophonist I had met up to that point in my life who was better than me. We had played in jazz bands together but he was already a rising star. When he beat me for the gig with Richard Marx’s touring band his career just took off – but all this was before then. I was one of Roger Bourland’s students – in fact, I had been in the “test” classroom when he had auditioned for his job.

I barely knew this Kevin kid. I was constantly getting his name wrong – for whatever reason my brain had him wired as Kevin Anderson.

My only real interaction with him outside of this 12-week experiment was down in the practice rooms. Many of these rooms had pianos in them and on any given day you could hear Mozart, Brahms, Chopin and all of the other usual suspects. I would go and write my own material and be pounding out rock and roll. Kevin did that too. Once while in the middle of the writing process for the musical he came into my practice room while I was working on a song in the style of Elton John. He invited me to a jam session the next Tuesday he was going to, and I declined. Tuesday was when MY band practiced, and as their lead guitarist I needed the practice.

That was the end of it. After the musical was over we all drifted our separate ways and for the most part didn’t run into each other again. I ran into Dave once at a music festival in San Francisco and he introduced me to Clarence Clemmons, which was pretty damned cool.

By now you’ve figured out that Kevin was Kevin Gilbert. Congratulations. I hadn’t. For many years to follow I would remember him as Kevin Anderson.

Now I’ve told you all of this so that you understand that this is long BEFORE Max and I went to see Toy Matinee in concert. I became a fan of the band without knowing that Kevin was its leader. I was ten feet away from him, performing for an hour. I had performed with him myself.

I didn’t recognize him. Nothing clicked in my brain that this was the same guy. I didn’t put two and two together. I rolled for my intelligence check and got a one.

Kevin Gilbert would go on to a solo career, win seven Grammys for his work with Madonna, be part of the driving musical force behind Sheryl Crow’s first album, become one of the founders of the Tuesday Night Music Club, and become one of my songwriting heroes. The man could paint a picture with very few words and his musical ability was enviable.

And then he died; a victim of his own vices. I’m not going to go into that here – I know nothing at all and can shed no light on the subject.

Several years later I relocated to San Francisco with my family. I discovered the band Giraffe once I was on their home turf, and of course discovered the fact that Kevin Gilbert had been their leader when he was a teenager. BEFORE I knew him. Giraffe was a pretty damned good band that had come so startlingly close to making it big – their albums are worth hunting down and they did a fantastic live rendition of Genesis’ “Lamb Lies Down on Broadway” (the full album mind you) that is lots of fun.

I was looking for a recording studio for my second album when I ran across a man named Steve Smith who owned a recording studio down the peninsula from where I was living. In his bio, he briefly mentioned that he was the drummer for Giraffe. Awesome. On his web site of the time if you dug in a little bit there was a bio of Kevin Gilbert, and he talked about the brief time he spent at UCLA.

Parts of the story looked and felt awfully familiar to me. Smith talked about the musical without mentioning the name, and again, it felt familiar. Me being slightly brave, I wrote an e-mail to him to ask what was the title of that musical and that I might have been involved in it. He confirmed it for me.

Holy crap.

All of the pieces started falling into place then. The rehearsals, our discussions about piano playing, that I went to one of his shows and failed to recognize him? The fact that I think he invited me to come join the FUCKING TUESDAY NIGHT MUSIC CLUB and I didn’t even fucking notice!?!!?!!?!!?

I’m an idiot.

Actually, in looking back at the timeline I don’t think he invited me to join TNMC. That came a couple of years later – I think. I’m never going to know for certain. If he had told any of the other members I don’t know about it. I’ve exchanged about a dozen words with one of the other members over social media but we certainly don’t know one another.

I wonder if he saw me in the audience that night and laughed. I will never know. I can tell you there is an album version of that night you can listen to and/or buy. A then-unknown Sheryl Crow played keyboards in the band, dressed up like a dominatrix biker chick. When I found out about that later I was amazed – I didn’t recognize her either.

I’m an idiot.

Nick D’Virgilio of Spock’s Beard played drums. I don’t remember the name of the bass player but what I remember is this man with the thickest eyebrows I have ever seen in my life. Marc Bonilla played lead guitar. Oh, the people I could have met.

I never did work in Steve Smith’s studio. I no longer remember why.

When I was working on my third album in my newly built home studio I recorded a number of covers and one of those was Kevin Gilbert’s “Tea For One”. It’s a fantastic song of unrequited love and missed chances told from start to finish in only a few dozen words. I have no idea if he would have liked what I did to his song – he had a wicked sense of humor that I can recall now but I never got to know him on a personal level as a songwriter, which was my mistake. I could have but I was so focused on myself in those days that even if the overtures were made I probably didn’t even notice.

I recorded the song in what I called "Garage Pop" during those days. A bit uneven, imperfect vocals - what you might get from a band practicing in their garage instead of a polished studio version. If you want that, I recommend hunting down his version.

But I recorded “Tea for One” just the same – it’s a great song and I’d like to think I gave it some justice – even if it doesn’t come close his version. It was on the original version of my third album "The Long Goodbye", which I released myself, but was cut when the album was moved to digital streaming services (In all fairness, I cut 21 songs from the original release – which was a 2 CD set).

My music career has been dark for several years, but it got jump started in 2020 in the middle of the pandemic and I’ve been revisiting a lot of my unreleased work since, and of all the covers I did this is still my favorite. I am releasing it now, in tribute to a musician I admire and could have called friend if I had just paid a bit of attention.

The guy holding the roses was me, as it turns out. I had no idea.

+++++++++++++++++

For those of you with very long memories you should listen to the full single on Spotify, because I’ve thrown in a little bonus for people who remember the 1980’s band ASK. Just a little piece of a little ditty written by me, Kevin Donville and Ed Lee.

[ohhellnowhy]

Happy Birthday, Sammy.

In honour of Sam Winchester’s birthday, I decided to write some smut for him. Thought I’d start off my blog with a lil present. Plz be nice, it’s only my first smut, and constructive criticism and comments are always welcomed! Go for a request if you want one. I’ve got a couple more posts planned but if y’all request something I’m more likely to write!

Please reblog with credit and don’t repost without my permission onto other sites. The AO3 post: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23993437

Sam x Reader: smut, swearing, slightly Dom!Sam, restraints.

I woke up slightly groggily next to Sam. It was crazy sometimes, how he was so warm, despite me being on the other side of the bed and barely touching him. But what was a little strange was waking up next to him. Usually, Sam would’ve been up and out for his run by now, maybe even back by the time I’d awoken, but Sam, Dean and I had been out for a relatively taxing hunt and drove back to the bunker more or less immediately after getting the job done. So Sam was particularly sleepy today and wouldn’t go on a run until later. 

Glancing at the time, I saw it was 09:03. A strange time for me to be up and Sam not to be. Then the realisation dawned. Today was May 2nd; Sam’s birthday. I figured my subconscious must have made me wake up earlier so I could put my plans into action. Oh, and boy, did I have plans.

Part 1: Birthday wake-up blowjob.

Smirking almost evilly, I slowly peeled back the covers from the both of us and positioned myself just next to his crotch. I then palmed his cock through his boxers, noticing the morning wood that was slightly growing beforehand, whilst slowly edging the underwear down. Sam groaned above me, but not waking up yet. Once the boxers were down enough, I started softly stroking him enough for him to get harder, but only slowly so he wouldn’t wake up before the best bit. Sam was still making some happy noises, now a little bit louder and complimented by a little bit of squirming. 

It was the perfect time to engulf his cock with my mouth, and Sam shot awake with a deep groan. “Ah, SHIT, (Y/N). That’s a wonderful wake up call.” I looked back up at him and hollowed my cheeks, sucking with earnest. I bobbed my head up and down his length, drawing stifled groans from the glorious, messy man above me. I flicked my tongue over the head of his dick, making him thrust up into my mouth which consequently made me gag. Trying to suppress the reflex, I took him down further into my throat. “Oh, God, (Y/N), I’m gonna-” With the obvious statement he was making, I cupped his balls and circled his cock with my tongue, swallowing around him as he came. Once I swallowed all his cum, I sat back up to give him a quick peck on the lips.

“Happy Birthday, Sammy.” Once he got his breath together, he actually formulated a coherent response. “Oh, yeah. I sorta forgot about that.”

“How do you forget your own birthday?” I questioned, looking at him incredulously. “Well, we never really celebrated birthdays.” He shrugged. “I guess there always seemed to be more important things to focus on.”

“And that attitude is why I’m making your birthdays more important to you. They’re good milestones and an excuse to have fun. Remember Dean’s birthday this year? Wasn’t it fun to just get away from hunting a little bit and enjoy quality time?” He sighed. admitting defeat. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” We then sat and just held each other for a bit, talking about just whatever we wanted for an hour or two. “Thank you for the wake up by the way. We need to have morning sex more often.”

“I totally agree with you. We don’t do it nearly enough - barely ever.” With that, he captured my lips with his, tenderly and sloppily making out. He started to grab my ass, trying to pull my shorts down but I cut him off. “Nuh-uh. We’ve got other plans today. Why don’t you go for your run first?” He whined, trying to give me the puppy dog eyes but I resisted. “Nope. You want me to get you anything from the kitchen before you go out?” Sam sighed, knowing that once I knew for certain I was going to do something, I wasn’t ever giving up. “Can I get an apple and a bottle of water please?”

“Sure thing.” I smirked, getting out of bed and walking to the kitchen to retrieve the requested items. Dean was also in the kitchen, cleaning up the dishes from breakfast. “Hey, Dean, Sam’s off out for his run - we’ve got to start now.” With that, he strode out of the kitchen to get Jack and Cas for the preparation. I grabbed the apple and a bottle of water from the fridge - Sam always had cold bottles of water kept in the fridge for quickness - and met Sam on his way out. “Thanks, Babe.” He said, giving me a quick kiss before heading out.

It was time for Part 2: Just a Small Birthday Party

Once the rest were assembled in the kitchen, I set out tasks. “Dean and Cas - you’re in charge of the decorations. We need some in here and around the map room. Jack - we’re gonna do the cake. Decorations are in my old room. Go.”

Dean and Cas scurried off, realising they were time limited. Jack got the ingredients out and measured them whilst I got the utensils and the like out and started preparing. Jack was watching my baking intently, clearly wanting to learn something as interesting and delicious as this. I narrated what I was doing, with reasons as to why with my limited knowledge. I wasn’t the best baker in the world, but every now and then I did something that surprised the Winchesters. Soon, the cake was in the oven, and Dean and Cas were already pretty much finished in all the rooms. Jack and I cleaned up the baking mess (complete with licking the spare batter off the spoons and whisks) and started preparing the decorations for the cake and making other foods. Dean was cooking gourmet burgers and homemade chips - he actually had quite the affinity for cooking and had more time to perfect it once they’d moved into the bunker.

Just as Jack and I were about to decorate the cake, Cas came rushing in to tell us he heard one of the garage doors closing, meaning Sam must be back. I told Cas to take over what I was doing with Jack whilst I distracted Sam for just a little while longer until we were ready. Coming into our shared bedroom to see Sam stripping out of his workout clothes, I tempted him with the prospect of us showering together and another blowjob. He took the bait and we very much enjoyed the bunker’s long-lasting hot water and stable water pressure. 

Once we were cleaned up, I noticed Dean had shot me a text saying they were ready. “Hey, Sam, I think Dean’s cooking those nice burgers we get from the butcher’s - you up for food?” Hearing his stomach grumble, he shot me a look that said it all.

A little nervous, Sam and I wandered towards the kitchen. Turning on the lights, which he seemed confused at as to why they were off, Jack, Cas and Dean stood up to shout “SURPRISE!” along with me behind him. Jack and Dean joking pulled some party poppers as Sam took in some decorations. A banner that stated “Happy Birthday!” In a surprisingly nice, simple colour was strung above the table, with a few more obnoxiously stereotypical balloons in one corner and some presents wrapped near them. “Aw, thanks guys! You didn’t have to do this for me.” Dean spoke first, joking that his little brother was “-getting older by the minute so they had to stave off the grumpiness as long as possible.” He also revealed the burgers he was cooking with an assortment of sides and fillings available. We all served up our lunches and cracked open a beer each. 

As we ate lunch, we talked about all sorts; Dean’s surprisingly good cooking, Cas eating on a rare occasion, retelling old stories and teasing at embarrassing moments - we were all content and having a good time. Jack and I dumped the dishes in the sink to tend to later as we brought out the cake and Jack lit all the candles for us. He cut the lights as I carried the cake to the table and decided not to sing happy birthday as only Dean and I knew the song and it would only be awkward otherwise. “Make a wish!” I said as Sam blew out his candles, Cas then questioning these strange human customs moments later. Sam cut some cake for us all and the others appreciated my baking skills. 

“Okay, time for presents!” Dean announced, taking the whole pile of gifts and dumping them on the table just as Cas cleaned the rest of the plates away. The first was from Cas - neatly wrapped were some old lore books that, somehow, the Winchesters had never got their hands on before yet Castiel somehow did. Jack had gotten Sam a plaid shirt and a big photo album with a few old photos he got from Dean and some more recent ones that had been taken on various occasions - but there was still lots of room for more. I gave Sam a box of chocolates and a couple of fiction books Sam had been meaning to read for a long time but he had just never got round to. Finally came Dean’s gift; a pair of Lycra shorts and other pretentious but cheap workout clothing that were just utterly ridiculous. But then in all seriousness Dean handed Sam a box that, once unwrapped, revealed a new tablet. Sam was particularly ecstatic with this gift, but then he profusely thanked us all again for the presents. Jack went on with washing the dishes (with angel powers) whilst Dean and Cas cleared up some rubbish from the unwrapping. 

I helped Sam carry the presents to his room. As he bent over to put the new shirt in one of his drawers, I came up behind him and snaked my arms around his waist and propped my head up on his shoulder. “Ya know, those chocolates and the books weren’t the only presents you’re receiving from me today.” He turned around to face me and smirked knowingly. “Oh? And what would be the other present?” 

“Let me show you.” 

I grabbed a bag hidden in the wardrobe, and dashed off to the bathroom to change.

The last part - Part 3: Amazing Birthday Sex.

Sam’s POV

Waiting in anticipation, I thought I knew what to expect but I also didn’t. I presumed it was birthday sex or some variation thereof, but whatever twist (Y/N) was putting on it I couldn’t tell. I was snapped out of my thoughts by a text I’d just received - from Dean. It read:

Me, Cas and Jack are off to a hunt in Washington - leaving you two to have some alone time. It should be a pretty simple hunt, but we’ll be about 3 days. I’ll only call if it’s desperate. Stay safe and have fun, birthday brother ;)

I sent back a quick, thankful reply as I realised (Y/N) had planned all of this. The sly, stunning dog had planned this all out and roped the rest of them in aswell. Not that I was complaining, simply noticing the effort (Y/N) had put into this. God, she was amazing; on every single level. 

Speaking of the devil, she sauntered in at that point, looking absolutely delicious on every level. She wore a red, lacy matching set of lingerie that made me almost drool at the sight of her. Her cleavage displayed perfectly and teasingly as it was framed by her bra, and the completely lace panties accentuating her figure in the best possible way. “Like what you see?” She said tauntingly, one hip cocked out sassily. “Oh, fuck yeah.” I replied, striding purposefully over and crashing my lips into hers, holding her face in my hands. 

She pulled away and said: “Hang on. I’ve got something else for you.” (Y/N) told me to sit on the edge of the bed, hold out my hands and close my eyes. I then felt her sat on the bead, nearer to the headrest but then lent forward to place two objects in my hands. Before I could try to assess what they were by touch alone, she said I could open my eyes. I immediately looked down to see a pair of leather-lined handcuffs and a long, silk rectangle of fabric. It was obvious what they were for. “You want me to use these on you?”

“You can do whatever you want with them. The control’s all on you, birthday boy.”

I groaned at all the filthy thoughts running a millions miles an hour through my head and almost leapt on (Y/N) to kiss her. I positioned her to lay beneath me, her starting to unfasten the buttons on my shirt. Bringing up her wrists to the headboard, I scolded her gently. “Ah, ah ah.” I stopped her, fastening her hands together with the handcuffs, attaching them to the headboard so she was stuck in one position. 

“The control’s all on me, little girl.”

She let out a shaky breath at this.

We both knew it was going to be one hell of a night.

[chilling-seavey]

Anything But Mine (d.s.) - Chapter Sixteen

A/N be gentle with my sweet Florence...she’s kinda all over the place right now... 🥴

Monday, December 2nd, 2019

Florence took the subway down to CTV studios late one evening to resign and thank them for the opportunity of working there. It was borderline unprofessional as it was such a stretch to be able to work there in the first place and it had only been a few weeks but Florence couldn’t keep shipping Clementine to various babysitters as well as the fact that working along side Grayson made her focus more on feelings than what needed to get done.

Now eleven months, Clementine was lively and a clever little girl. Despite her quick learning and developing, Clementine was still yet to walk. She could stand up on her own and cruise a little whole holding onto the coffee table but never went farther than a few shuffling steps. It worried Florence a bit, but Michael and Luke assured her it was normal, that babies all develop at different rates. The Clifford’s still loved caring for Clementine when Florence needed time to herself, this case in particular as Florence stood alone in front of the CTV building, swallowing nervously before making her way inside.

It was late evening and most employees would be gone but Florence was surprised to find the offices empty as she stepped out of the elevator. Of course, the single desk lamp that was switched on belonged to the last person she wanted to see.

Florence tried to head back out without being noticed but she was caught by a, “Hey.”

She turned back and forced a small smile, “Hi.”

Grayson got up from his desk and took a few steps towards her. The floor was dark, illuminated only by the moon and city lights outside the large pained windows and Grayson’s single desk lamp casting a warm glow over the area were they stood.

“What are you doing here?” Grayson asked.

“I’m resigning.” Florence said. “Is Christina here?”

“No she’s not. I’m the only one here right now. It’s late. I can take down your notice though.”

“Thanks.” Florence nodded stiffly.

Grayson frowned after a moment of silence, “Why are you resigning?”

“Working life just isn’t for me I suppose.” Florence chuckled nervously.

“You loved it here though.”

“Yeah, at first, but not recently.”

Grayson looked to the ground, his hands in his pockets. Florence did the same.

“Do you want to come sit?” Grayson whispered after a moment. “I just ordered a burrito. We could split it.”

“Yeah...okay.” Florence couldn’t help but smile a little as she followed Grayson back to his desk. She pulled up a second chair and they sat down. Grayson passed her half of the meal, offering her a gentle smile with it. She took a bite before resting it back on the napkin.

“Gray...” Florence mumbled, clearing her throat nervously, “I’m really sorry for hurting you.”

Grayson merely glanced at her as if urging her to continue.

“I guess I should have talked to you about things before assuming. My only relationship experience is kind of a shitty one and I know that’s not an excuse but...I just want you to know that I’m sorry. I didn’t know what I was doing and you didn’t deserve to be hurt like that.”

Florence looked over at him, her eyes begging to be forgiven. Grayson took a bite of his half of the burrito but finally nodded a little.

“Thank you for saying that.”

“Are you-“

“Have a drink if you want.” he slid over the bottle of pop to rest between them. Florence looked from the bottle to his face and he smiled warmly at her. She couldn’t help but smile back. It was the simple act that told her she was forgiven.

The two ate in silence for a little bit. It was surprisingly comfortable despite the silence and darkness looming around them. Once the food was finished and the bottle was emptied, Grayson tossed the garbage into the small trash bin under his desk. They filled the quiet space with discussion of Grayson and Ethan’s show they had been producing and Grayson shared stories of his favourite on-set ‘fails’ and mess-ups. They managed to laugh until their stomach’s hurt; something both of them really missed. Once calmer, silence fell, as they returned to their thoughts.

“Are you really quitting?” Grayson asked as he sat back comfortably in his chair.

“Yeah.” Florence sighed.

“Even if it’s not weird between us anymore?”

“Yeah. It’s was a good experience here but I need to be home with Clementine. It’s just not the right time.”

Grayson nodded, “I get that.”

“Thank you, though.” Florence set her hand on his leg. “It was really amazing of you to do this all for me.”

“Only what you deserved.” Grayson shrugged.

Florence smiled shyly, looking to her lap and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear before folding her hands together on her lap.

“How is Clementine?” Grayson asked after a moment.

Florence broke into a genuine smile at the mention of her daughter, “She’s amazing. She loves to say ‘yes’ now. Seems to be her favourite word.”

“So you can get her to do chores without her talking back.” Grayson pointed out, a cheeky grin plastered on his face.

“I don’t think I trust her enough to do the dishes yet.” Florence chuckled.

“And Daniel and the boys? They’re okay too?”

“Daniel doesn’t talk to me anymore.”

“What? Why?” Grayson frowned.

Florence shrugged, dropping her gaze to her lap.

“I’m sure he’ll come around. He told me himself how much he loves you. He’s probably going through his own thing.”

“Hopefully.” Florence sighed.

“And Emilio?”

Florence sighed at that question, “Do you care to know?”

“Yes. Need to make sure he’s treating you right.”

“He’s just fine.” Florence forced a gentle smile.

His hand on her leg made her startle and she looked over at him. His gentle touch sent shivers down her arms.

“Are you with him?” Grayson whispered.

“Emilio?” Florence clarified, her heart speeding up in her chest.

Grayson nodded.

“No. We’re not dating.”

“Does he know that?” Grayson teased.

“Yes, he knows.” Florence would have chuckled at his teasing but they way he was looking at her had her stomach in knots.

She hesitated a moment before standing up, swiftly pushing the chair back to the other desk. Grayson stayed sitting and he watched her silently.

“I should go.” Florence mumbled.

“Go?” Grayson stood up too now. “Already?”

“Yeah.” Florence shrugged. “Don’t want you to do something you might regret.”

“There is not a second that goes by where I regret being with you. You were one of the best things in my life.” Grayson frowned.

“Until I messed it up.” Florence said plainly.

“Mistakes happen, okay? I missed you so much. But you’re here now.” Grayson assured her, taking a step closer.

“And what does that mean?” Florence whispered, now close enough to feel his presence against her body.

He set his hands on her face before speaking, “Listen,” his tongue poked out between his lips, wetting them, before continuing, “I have missed you so damn much.”

“Me too.” Florence whispered, her breathing turning slow and shallow as he stood in front of her, mere centimetres between them. His hazel eyes looked down at her with this emotion that made her legs weak. There was still something about him that always got to her in the most beautiful way. She couldn’t help but wrap her arms around his shoulders and pull him in to kiss him. His hands on his waist sent absolute fire over her body and she clung onto him like somehow he would save her life.

 ~~

Almost an hour later they were sat in the parking garage back at Florence’s condo, silence between them as they stared out the front window of Grayson’s blue Porsche. Florence tucked some of her messy hair behind her ear, letting out a soft sigh.

“You okay?” Grayson asked, looking over at her.

“Just fine.” Florence smiled, meeting his friendly gaze. He leaned over to press a single kiss to her lips. “Very fine.” Florence whispered.

Grayson smiled widely, his hand resting on her leg and he watched her like she was framed artwork. He was leaned back comfortably against his seat, his entire body turned towards her in a simple subconscious action that meant nothing less than that she had all of him to herself.

“Gray.” Florence breathed, her fingers tracing the outline of his hand lazily.

“Flora.” he responded through a gentle smile, turning over his hand palm up so she could slide her hand into his.

“What does this mean for us?” Florence asked quietly as if there were people around listening.

“What do you want it to mean?”

“I think you should answer first.”

“Alright,” Grayson cleared his throat, “I want any part of you or your life that you want me to be a part of.”

“But Emilio is still around.” Florence breathed, not looking up at him.

Silence lingered between them, both of their eyes on their intertwined hands.

“These past few months…” Grayson mumbled, “have sucked. Really fucking sucked. I have been holding back tears almost every minute of every single day. I don’t like crying around people…not even E…and it’s been taking such a toll on me. I kept it all in and it hurt so bad. I loved you, you know? So fucking much. I just never felt like I mattered. That compared to Emilio, I was disposable.”

“Gray, you do matter. So much. And you’re not disposable. My heart ached for you when you left that night. I messed everything up and I know that. I missed you, I still do, and I want you in my life.”

“How?”

Florence looked up at him and he was already looking at her. She sighed and looked back down at their hands, “I don’t know.”

“Can we even just be friends?” Grayson whispered, “It’ll be hard to simply be friends after what just happened in the studio.”

Grayson cracked a small smile. Florence’s cheeks went pink and she gave his hand a little squeeze.

“That wouldn’t be able to happen again.” he spoke.

“I agree.” Florence nodded.

Grayson’s free hand went to her cheek and he ever so softly pressed his lips to hers. Their kiss was nothing but chasté, closed mouthed and innocent, and when they seperated, both sighed quietly. She let her hand rest against his face, admiring him in their close proximity, her thumb gently caressing his cheek.

“Not again.” Grayson breathed.

Florence nodded once in agreement before slowly moving to open the car door. She pressed one more kiss to his lips before sliding out of the sports car with a whispered ‘goodnight’ and made her way to her apartment.

[mcmansionhell]

2018 McGingerbread Hell Competition Winners

Happy New Year, Folks! I’m pleased to announce the winners of this (past) year’s McGingerbread Hell Gingerbread House Competition!!

First off, I cannot find the words to say how much joy each and every entry to this competition has brought me. Every single one of the participants put their 100% best McMansion Hell face on and the results were charming, hilarious, and, if we’re being punny here, downright sweet. This may be the best idea this blogger has ever had. 

Second, let me say that the when I say the competition was fierce, I mean, it was fierce. So much so that I drafted the fellow judgement of two of my favorite colleagues, my literary agent Caroline Eisenmann, and fellow architecture critic/Editor of Chicago Architect Magazine Anjulie Rao to help me narrow the 43 contestants down to 8. 

Just a note: Last names of the winners have been abbreviated for privacy reasons. If you would like your full name to be published instead, please email mcgingerbreadhell@gmail.com with your preferred name. 

We’re going to start our line up with the 5 honorable mentions in alphabetical order, after which there will be a break to take those of you scrolling through this on the dashboard to the full article where the top 3 McMansions will be revealed. 

Without further ado... 

Honorable Mention #5 : Manoir de emporte-pièce by Anya D.

The judges were impressed by the whimsy, creativity and finely detailed execution of Anya’s house. Caroline summed it up best: “what else is a McMansion if not a bunch of smaller houses wrapped into one package?” 

Anya writes: 

Hi I'm Anya and I'm 12. I made my Gingerbread house from Gingerbread I mixed and baked myself. The house shapes came from a cookie cutter. It's held together with royal icing frosting I made. The shingles are almonds and the house off to the side is the dog house and has candy dog bones on it. The "lights" on parts of it are candy balls. I hope you like it!

Honorable Mention #4: AMAZING Custom Home with Quality Features by Sydney E.

The judges were impressed by the house’s fine craftsmanship, attention to detail (especially the peppermint columns, the gumdrop crenellations, and the chandelier in the back) and great sense of humor. Anjulie remarked: “Love the inclusion of the nuclear family.” What really had us in stitches was Sydney’s wonderfully rich description, especially this part:

 “...You'll know you're living in the lap of luxury when you see the ENORMOUS GOLD CHANDELIER in the dining room. But it's the ROOFTOP PATIO with no discernible purpose or point of entry that will really set you apart from your neighbors. "Hey, how did you get up there?" they'll ask, but you're not telling (mysterious!). The landscaping will make you feel like you're in the countryside, in a sea of royal icing TURF GRASS (shown here, lightly dusted with coconut snow). The FOUR TREES on the property are either too far from the house to provide any shade (stately!) or extremely close to the house and actively obscuring at least one window (posh!). The entire house, the front walk, and the driveway are all bordered in royal icing ENGLISH IVY, which is definitely never going to be a problem for native plants (colonial!).”

Honorable Mention #3: Suburban Hobbit House by Jennifer K. & Cara M.

The judges were impressed by the difficulty of execution in Jennifer and Cara’s house, especially the dome, the cleverness of using almonds as cladding, and the hilariously barren “asphalt” lawn complete with soul patch. Kate remarked: “Pretty sure I saw this exact house in Bergen County, New Jersey.”

Jennifer and Cara wrote about their house: 

Made of solid gingerbread in shape of skulls (had the pans), graham crackers, lots of icing, nuts, chocolate, a candy cane, grape tic-tacs, decorator sprinkles, butter-rum Lifesavers, fondant, Tootsie Rolls, and a loaf of rosemary bread. Round center mass house with back porch nub, two wings, a charming turret. We totally meant for it to look this way.

Honorable Mention #2: European Charme by Núria O. 

The judges were very impressed with the fine detailing (such as the columns, balustrades, and front door), the crisp, clean execution of the design, and total commitment to the McMansion Aesthetic™ from front to rear, including the completely barren lawn. 

Núria describes the house in finely practice Realtor-ese:

Beautiful gazillion-square-feet chalet featuring lots of personality and European flair. This cozy 4-bedroom, 10-bathroom cottage is made of sturdy construction-grade tan-beige gingerbread from top to bottom. Roof plates are structurally tinted, not painted, ensuring a durable color that will last until the last crumble is eaten. Windows glazing is made of gelatine sheets coated with black-coloured blueberry jam to ensure privacy as you lounge by the bay window or enjoy the views from the beautiful faux-balcony. 

All doors are solid gum paste, with royal icing on all window frames as well as the balustrade. This home is ideal for entertaining, with its luxurious two-story entrance featuring genuine Spanish _neula_ columns with doric capitals, ornated pediment and a quaint half-tindered wall that gives true European _charme_. Utilities are housed in a lovely turret next to the service door. The garage accomodates two SUVs or six European sedan cars. The magnificent brown-sugar-paved front yard features icing plants and a signature landscaped crushed-sprinkle turf patch on cookie soil. The same type of grass was used in the large, sunny backyard which also has a patio area.

Honorable Mention #1: Existential Crisis on 34th Street by Caitlin R. 

The judges were very impressed by the house’s clever use of different baking materials and attention to detailing, especially in the icing work. Kate was especially excited by the rounded gingerbread turret, and Anjulie loved the “Existential Crisis” detail and monumental marshmallow columns. The description had Caroline especially in stitches.

Caitlin describes the house:

This nine-bedroom mansion is made from the most exquisite of gingerbreads. Lovingly handmade from scratch, and crafted by local artisans, it's ready for your own sweet family. Grecian inspired columns impose your might on the neighborhood, while a pebble-clad tower with bay windows adds a touch of country charm. Architectural details include a 'stonework' wall and chimney, sweet dormer windows, and a luxurious back porch. A myriad of windows let light into this expanded historic house - the original building dates all the way back to 1982! Come by today, and soon you'll be calling this three-and-a-half story, Greco-Chateauesque Italian Revival Americana, 18,600 square foot mansion - home!

Now on to the TOP 3 PRIZEWINNING HOUSES!

It all comes down to this. It was stiff competition through and through, and the judges deliberated long and hard about who the top 3 spots should go to. Each house showed tremendous ability in craftsmanship, detailing, and McMansion Engineering. Without further ado: 

Third Prize: Saccharin Sanctuary by Christa H.

The judges were wowed by the amazing craftsmanship and attention to detail present in Christa’s house. Caroline was impressed by the use of Cinnamon Toast Crunch as shingling, Anjulie loved the jellybean stone accents, and Kate found the use of sticks of gum as fake-stucco siding to be very clever. The execution of the lawyer foyer, turret, and appropriately nonsensical rear exterior put this house in to the third place slot. 

Christa’s description, in perfect Realtorese: 

This fabulous 1.5 story house features a gorgeous columned entry, double garage, show-stopping turret, and the picture perfect back patio. Built from the finest gingerbread and white chocolate... you can be sure that this house has a superior foundation that you can trust for years to come. Jelly Beans, spear mint Lifesavers, Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Double Mint gum among other award winning materials make this house’s curb appeal unforgettable! List Price: 🍬574,900  Est Mortgage: 🍬2,240/mo Listed By: Sugar & Space Reality®️

Second Prize: The Hundred Thousand by Louisa G.

The judges were blown away by, as they say, the sheer size of this lad. The monumentality of such a massive roof must have taken some serious gingerbread engineering, all while perfectly encapsulating McMansion Roof Culture. The engineering, clean execution, attention to detail (millions of nonpareils!!), and true, well, McMansion-ness of this house vaulted (ceiling) it into 2nd place. 

Louisa describes the house thusly: 

The Hundred Thousand has no equal. This 37-piece towering gingerbread edifice was baked and constructed over four days during the heat of an Australian summer, by an Australian and a Finn, using a Finnish gingerbread recipe. Inspired by Mt. Nub, The Hundred Thousand boasts a porcine screaming porch, eight ahoy-mateys windows, a royally-iced gable front that almost but not entirely obscures the front door, and palatial grounds landscaped with topiary sweets, all topped off with a soaring roof tiled with hundreds & thousands. 

So many hundreds & thousands were used that the builders ran out of material - causing the construction project to grind to a halt for almost ten minutes, until the Australian’s father arrived with more much-needed building supplies. The Hundred Thousand was fixed together using high-quality caramel, and is internally braced by two large gingerbread cross-panels. This fantastic abode required nearly 2kg of flour and eight eggs (provided by the Australian’s chickens) and was constructed as large as the oven would allow, measuring a whopping 40 cm across on the front facade, and nearly 30 cm high. 

And finally, (DRUMROLL PLEASE)

First Prize: Casa de McGingerHell by Beth and Tina C.

From the moat, dome skylight, and lawyer foyer, to the rice crispy treat retaining wall, and chocolate rocks, this house, in the words of Caroline, was “truly next level.” The judges were blown away by the incredible attention to detail and clever use of different materials, specially the pretzel railing on the bridge, the marshmallow penguins, and we all freaked over those sugar glass and water elements. From the several different types of windows, bizarre massing, and three car garage, this house encapsulates the deranged opulence of McMansions in the sweetest way possible. 

Beth and Tina describe their house: 

Located centrally and literally dominating the entire living room, this McGingerMansion features over twenty handcrafted stained glass windows, a double sized garage, and three hand laid rock face walls! This gingermansion also has not one, but two incredible water features including a delightful frozen waterfall in the spacious backyard. Boasting several pre-decorated pine trees surrounding the property, this festive gingermansion showcases several dozen strands of lights and as well as a handful of charming wreaths. 

The one hundred percent genuine pretzel log deck overlooking the backyard is the perfect place to entertain friends and family alike, especially during the holiday season! Standing at just over a foot and a half tall, this truly massive gingermansion has a total composition of just over twenty pans worth of gingerbread. Call now to schedule a tour today; this gingermansion won't last long! *Disclaimer: As required of us by law, we must disclose the presence of a minor pest infestation in the form of roughly a dozen cute, but possibly rabid penguins on the property.

On behalf of the judges and McMansion Hell, we would like to thank everyone who entered the competition for their amazingly wonderful houses, and for the funding from McMansion Hell’s Patreon supporters whose generosity made running the competition and supplying the prizes possible. 

Stay tuned for this year’s new and exciting McMansion Hell features:

- The conclusion of the 50 states, starting with Virginia next week.  - A series of essays on kitsch - Looking at McMansions decade by decades - McMansions in film and media - Updates on the McMansion Hell Book

If you like this post, and want to see more like it, consider supporting me on Patreon!

There is a whole new slate of Patreon rewards, including Good House of the Week, Crowdcast streaming, and bonus essays!

Not into recurring donations or bonus content? Consider the tip jar! Or, Check out the McMansion Hell Store ! 100% of the proceeds from the McMansion Hell store go to charity!

Copyright Disclaimer: All photographs are used in this post under fair use for the purposes of education, satire, and parody, consistent with 17 USC §107. Manipulated photos are considered derivative work and are Copyright © 2018 McMansion Hell. Please email kate@mcmansionhell.com before using these images on another site. (am v chill about this)

[k-racer]

A Formula 1 Fantasy Universe using GPM2 2019 Mod: Intro, entry list, and race calendar

Hello there, after a long break from posting stuff on here.

This is going to be a randomized let’s play of Grand Prix Manager 2, using the recently released 2019 mod as a foundation, but with three expansion teams joining in so that we have a full 26 car entry list. I will be taking control as one of the expansion teams, so enjoy the ride!

The 2019 Entry List

Here’s what the lineups look like for all 13 teams after conducting a Draft Lottery and a snake format Fantasy Draft based off the lottery results complete with a preview of what I think the team’s fortunes are. Remember, in F1 each team can only have two race drivers at a time, and a backup reserve driver is highly recommended and actually required by the game itself. That’s the main reason why each team must have three drivers signed before the start of the season!

Mercedes

14 Fernando Alonso

63 George Russell

T 24 Lucas di Grassi

Will Fernando Alonso finally gets his elusive third Driver’s title? With the best overall car on paper, this is his best and probably final chance that he gets to do just that! On the other side of the garage is George Russell, who will make his F1 debut under massive pressures to perform straight away. George already has proven everything in the junior categories, winning titles in every single category of the ladder, F4, F3 and F2. This has the potential to be awesome like their recent successes over the last five years or maybe it would turn into a nightmare like when Alonso had to partner Hamilton in 2007? 

Ferrari

27 Nico Hulkenberg

99 Antonio Giovanizzi

R 28 Brendon Hartley

The Number 27 is officially back on a Ferrari! With Ferrari signing Nico Hulkenberg, they have just gotten a driver that was looking for a top tier ride all of this time, and he finally got his wish. He will perform with a chip on his shoulder and maybe take the Tifosi by the neck and push them to work harder than ever to get that elusive team’s title back to Italy. The biggest question mark regarding the Scuderia is the #2 slot with Antonio Giovanizzi, who only has two f1 starts to his name with Sauber as an injury replacement, but he had to struggle with an inferior car, maybe being in an elite team will help him?

Red Bull-Aston Martin 

33 Max Verstappen

25 Jean Eric Vergne

T 37 Nick Cassidy

Max Verstappen was going to stay put as soon as it was announced that Red Bull Racing would get the first pick in the lottery. Now, the bigger question, can Max become the second Red Bull driver to win the Driver’s title? His chances are decent but the biggest question mark is the new in-house built Aston Martin Valkyrie AMR1 engine. If it’s reliable, expect them to be contenders for the team’s title, especially if Jean Eric Vergne relishes his second chance in Formula 1, fresh after winning the Formula E Championship. If not, Nick Cassidy, the team’s new tester will have a stab at things sooner than later.

Renault

3 Daniel Riccardo

77 Valtteri Bottas

T 6 Artem Markelov 

Mr. Smiley has a new home! After being treated harshly at red bull racing last year, he decided to exit the program altogether and joined a factory team in desperate need of a savior. In addition, Valtteri Bottas, a perfect #2 driver during his time at Mercedes AMG before being let go over the lack of one-lap qualifying pace relative to Hamilton joins the Enstone-based team looking to crack into the big three conversation once again. What does this mean for Artem Markelov, who was looking to crack into F1 after finishing 2nd in F2 during the 2017 season? He will be a hot prospect going forward, that’s for sure.

Haas-Ferrari

11 Sergio Perez

88 Robert Kubica

T 50 Josef Newgarden

Money is starting to be a problem over at Haas especially if the rumors that Rich Energy is a faker happens to be true. In the meantime, they have Sergio Perez’s Carlos Slim backing of companies providing a more stable back-up package if the Rich Energy deal happens to be blocked by a court. On the other side, is an amazing comeback story, Robert Kubica, who almost lost his life before the 2011 F1 season, is officially back in a F1 race seat. There’s no question that his qualifying pace is still great, but how can his race pace be especially considering his physical limitations post-rally crash? 

Racing Point-BWT

31 Esteban Ocon

94 Pascal Wehrlein

T 34 Nyck de Vries

Racing Point is now officially a full-fledged constructor now. They still have a customer Mercedes Benz Engine but it’s rebadged as BWT. As for their drivers, they kept Esteban Ocon, a promising talent that is looking for a promotion to Mercedes AMG, when and if Fernando Alonso calls it quits. Pascal Wehrlein, who is back into a F1 race seat after a year’s worth of testing work with Ferrari is the other driver. Nyck de Vries is the team’s reserve driver, after getting his F1 super license thanks in part of his stellar F2 finish last year. 

McLaren-Cosworth

44 Lewis Hamilton

20 Kevin Magnussen

T 40 Paul Di Resta

Just as Lewis Hamilton was looking like he could potentially get his 6th drivers title, the FIA has decided to conduct a sport-wide fantasy draft in an effort to stop his domination. Despite this, Lewis Hamilton has returned back to McLaren, after Zak Brown selected him 3rd overall in the draft. With McLaren rebuilding after years of devastating management calls since Lewis left before the 2013 season, the hope is that he turns them back into title winners. His teammate would be Kevin Magnussen, who is also returning to the team for a second stint. Hopefully, the in-house built Cosworth engine is up for the task.

Alfa Romeo

5 Sebastian Vettel

13 Pastor Maldonado

T 36 Luca Ghiotto

The newly renamed Alfa Romeo F1 team, who is now building their own engines, has managed to steal an elite level qualifying talent to spearhead their rebirth since flopping big time during the ground effect era of the early 80’s. Sebastian Vettel who failed Ferrari thanks to the massive pressures of driving for the Tifosi, has returned back to the team that gave him his F1 debut in 2007. However, in a highly debatable move, the Alfa Romeo Management decided to give the second seat to an interesting driver, Pastor Maldonado, who was out of F1 since the end of 2015 has somehow got more money to spare!

Toro Rosso-Honda

10 Pierre Gasly

23 Alexander Albon

T 53 Alexander Rossi

Entering year two of the Honda engine partnership, Toro Rosso are hoping to build on a modest start by improving driver talent across the board. Pierre Gasly stays put which is a good thing for research and development work. Alexander Albon, a relatively late addition to the draft, was selected as the team’s second driver after initially was hoping to crack into Formula E instead. As for the test driver, that role falls on a resurgent Alexander Rossi, after spending the last three years back in the United States honing on his race craft in the IndyCar championship.

Williams-Mercedes

7 Kimi Raikkonen

4 Lando Norris

T 21 Esteban Guiterrez

Things couldn’t get much worse for Claire Williams, right? After going for the extra money in 2018, which backfired them in the worst possible way. They are now going in the opposite direction, going for experience and proven quantities that can help set up and develop a car that desperately needs it. Kimi Raikkonen, an elite racing talent still at this point of his career despite losing some outright one-lap pace over the last few seasons, signs on a one-year prove it deal. For the other seat, they are going with Rookie Lando Norris the 2nd place finisher in F2 last year, who has star level qualities already.

Panthera-Honda (User Controlled by Myself)

16 Charles Leclerc

18 Lance Stroll

T 70 Naoki Yamamoto

Now for the brand-new teams that will enter Formula 1 in 2019. First up, Panthera Team Asia, who will use Customer Honda Engines. It also helps that this expansion team got the 2nd overall pick in the draft and snatched Charles Leclerc away from Alfa Romeo. He can lead this team far if given a solid baseline to begin with. The bigger issue is at the #2 seat, with Lance Stroll, now being separated from his rich dad for the first time in his racing career, after Lawrence decided to run the Racing Point team. How well can he respond to this separation? At worst, Naoki Yamamoto is a quality driver that should get some looks.

SMP-Renault

26 Daniil Kvyat

2 Stoffel Vandoorne

T 35 Sergey Sirotkin

The second of the three Brand-new teams, SMP Racing has decided to go with two drivers looking for fresh starts to their F1 careers after fizzing out with their previous teams. Daniil Kyvat, who bombed out with Red Bull and refined his career with a simulator job at Ferrari the previous year, has a new lease at life with SMP racing. The other seat will be taken by Stoffel Vandoorne, who failed to produce alongside Fernando Alonso at McLaren over the last couple years, but he should be better in a lower-pressure environment. Sergey Sirotkin, the team’s reserve, pays the bills for the Renault engines if anything.

Campos-Porsche

55 Carlos Sainz Jr.

8 Romain Grosjean

T 9 Marcus Ericsson

The last of the three Brand-New teams, Campos Racing has managed to convince Porsche to return to Formula 1 as an engine supplier only. As for their drivers entering 2019, they managed to draft Carlos Sainz Jr. with the 4th pick in the draft, and he will spearhead the charge for this young team that is looking for a role model to rally around. As for the other race driver, they are counting on Romain Grosjean to be less of a crasher in the races and more helpful with feedback during the practice sessions. If that doesn’t happen, Marcus Ericsson, a useful veteran is always welcome to try.

The 2019 Race Calendar

1 Albert Park: Melbourne, Australia

2 Bahrain International Circuit: Sakhir, Bahrain

3 Circuit de Catalunya: Barcelona, Spain

4 Monte Carlo Street Circuit: Monte Carlo, Monaco

5 Circuit Gilles Villeneuve: Montreal, Canada

6 Silverstone Circuit: Silverstone, Great Britain

7 Nurburgring: Nurburg, Germany

8 Hungaroring: Budapest, Hungary

9 Spa-Franchorchamps: Spa, Belgium

10 Monza Circuit: Monza, Italy

11 Marina Bay Street Circuit: Singapore

12 Suzuka Circuit: Suzuka, Japan

13 Autodromo Hermanos Rodriguez: Mexico City, Mexico

14 Circuit of the Americas: Austin, United States

15 Interlagos Circuit: Sao Paulo, Brazil

16 Yas Marina Circuit: Abu Dhabi, UAE

The First round will be posted shortly, stay tuned!

[creative-horror-network]

The Fog Report - Los Angeles Haunted Hayride 2019

Welcome back, intrepid listeners! The season is drawing to a close but that hasn’t deterred me from hitting a third haunted locale, although in this one the haze you’re walking through is less fog and more kicked-up dust. Probably has something to do with that weird-looking fairground tucked away in the trees there…

Started in 2009, the Los Angeles Haunted Hayride has taken up residence in Griffith Park, in and around the grounds of the Old LA Zoo. Already a fairly eerie place with its trails past abandoned enclosures and cages, the Hayride has consistently utilized the environment to create terrifying tableaus and vignettes, seen and experienced from a tractor-pulled trailer - something done for Halloween in many other parts of the country but a relative oddity in the big city. Though its themes have shifted and changed over the years, this year new owners Thirteenth Floor Entertainment have given the Hayride a unifying story and a setting from which to place their event: a cursed town called Midnight Falls.

Anyone who has read my last two articles about Dark Harbor and Knott’s Scary Farm (or who just knows me in general) should guess why this alone finally pulled me to the event. This was my first ever visit to the Haunted Hayride, so my expectations were not so effected by previous years; it’s all fresh eyes and raw opinion here.

The Event

Before I even get to the venue itself, can I just say how enjoyable just the walk there was? Unless you’re parked in one of the upper lots, you’ve got a little bit of a trek through a nighttime park ahead of you, and I wasn’t kidding earlier when I said this was “tucked away.” in the wilderness. The natural darkness and night noises certainly helped me get into the mood as I trudged up the path and saw the flickering orange glow in the distance.

Once you do get there, you find yourself in the town square of Midnight Falls in the midst of its 13th annual Halloween Festival, 1985. The Hayride itself, as well as three mazes, several concessions and a handful of slight-up charge escape rooms can all be accessed from here, but as a zone in itself the town square is well worth wandering around in. The roaming monsters - townsfolk who have been cursed but seem to be in good spirits - are more interactive and funny than outright scary, engaging visitors with humor and giving Midnight Falls the character of a cheesy 80s horror-comedy. Each character is an archetype of the era and each is a very distinct, from a jock werewolf to a hook-nosed Miss Midnight Falls to a snappy goblin server from the local diner (hi Reggie!), just to name a few of the myriad citizens.

This feels like a genuinely happy medium between the heavy thematic elements of Knott’s and the party atmosphere of Dark Harbor. You’re at an in-universe fair, and they play that up without it detracting from the scarier elements. It certainly evokes the spirit of a local Halloween: I spent a good chunk of my teenage years in the small mountain town of Idyllwild, and they also have (had?) a Halloween carnival, so I can say big props for reminding me of that feeling. Couple that with the amount of atmosphere and the commitment of the actors in their improv with guests and each other, and you have a nicely immersive, if tongue-in-cheek, experience.

It’s also good to know that the event is small, considering what it actually offers. The night I visited I managed to get there right around opening and was able to get through most everything in two hours. That doesn’t mean its not worth visiting, but don’t expect a marathon session like a theme park haunt.

The Hayride

As stated before, the hayride is the namesake and main draw of the event, a chance for Angelenos to board a hay wagon (and sit in real honest-to-goodness hay) and take a ride through the Old Zoo, now the outskirts and foothills of Midnight Falls. This attraction is presented as a sort of weird origin-story, demonstrating how the land fell under the Halloween hex and riders in the midst of it happening.

This is a wholly different kind of trip than one would make on foot through a maze, and is a proper ride in every sense, with each scene being staged in such a way that it only transpires as the hayride passes. The main ingredient is the live actors lurking in the dark that rush at the trailer and menace the riders, usually after a theatrical beat in a scene plays out, I’d never done anything like this before and it was honestly impressive, each scene having its fair share of startling surprises: highlights for me were a ghostly girl leaping from a cliff (possibly reenacting a suicide), a werewolf gang unleashed from some of the old animal cages, a amorous couple in a convertible being mauled by a Sasquatch, a close encounter with a ghost train, and a giant spider emerging from a stone structure.

I wasn’t able to take any picture while on the hayride, mainly out of respect for not ruining the moment and trying to present for it. Trust me when I say that even if the scenes seem a little cheesy, the fact that they’re part of this spooky hayride experience makes it fun. I actually feel like this is a decent entry point for people leery about going to a haunt, as it struck me as being less intense than being in the midst of a maze. Pro tip for first-timers: sit in the middle. The folks on the left and right get all the attention, so the heat’s off if you stick to the center.

The Mazes

As an added bonus, Midnight Falls has three mazes as part of its spooky neighborhood. Each is fairly short but exceptionally well put together for something built in the middle of Griffith Park, and I walked away from each fairly impressed.

The first maze I visited, Midnight Mortuary, takes you through the town’s funeral home, its backyard, morgue and chapel. The monsters here are a mix of the ghoulish staff and some goat-masked figures in white robes; perhaps a cult of some kind? More Victorian Gothic than grisly and gory, creative use of space and good set design are strong in this maze, and the startling finale helps put the random goat-people’s presence into perspective.

My favorite maze was definitely Trick or Treat, simulating a trip through a Midnight Falls neighborhood where every house has a resident surprise. This outdoor maze is unique because anyone visiting can actually ring the doorbells of the houses to see what wacky scare emerges. Since almost all the scares are guest-driven, the reward for courage comes when most of the monsters give you real candy! It’s a cute detail, and it really plays on the horror-camp and the tropes of Halloween: my favorite bit is the Devil-themed “home haunt” at the end that looks like some earnest kid built a strobe-light maze through their yard and garage. Big props for creativity.

Rounding out the three is Roadkill Ranch, ensuring no meat goes to waste in Midnight Falls… because if it’s good enough for your tires, it’s good enough for their fryers. While the effort was there, I’m personally very tired of the bloody Hellbilly theme for mazes as a whole, so this one did not really impress me. It did have some choice scare moments and a good strawbale layout in the back of it, making you weave through while masked ranchers hid in the dark, but I just think the trope has been done to death.

Final Thoughts

Though small in stature, the LA Haunted Hayride is big on personality and dark charm, offering a main attraction that isn’t offered anywhere nearby and a collection of scary sides to go along with it. The overarching setting of Midnight Falls is a huge boon to the event, and I hope it sticks around for the foreseeable future, along with its cast of characters. I’d love to see what they can add to it if it continues to expand.

What gives this an edge for me and makes it stick out, even from its larger competitors, is the festive quality of the Hayride. Halloween is not just the backdrop of the season here for spooky stuff, it’s positively dripping with Halloween flavor. Not many haunts actually make the holiday their front-and-center, and I’m super grateful that this does. It’s hard not to feel spirit (pun intended) of All Hallows Eve here, and I didn’t realize how much I missed that kind of vibe until I was there.

If you’re local and you can make it, the LA Haunted Hayride is worth a visit. Come kill a couple hours here and feel a bit of that Halloween magic, both terror and humor - trick and treats, if you’ll pardon the expression. And hey, if you’re not anywhere near LA, go see if anyone near you is doing a haunted hayride. It might help kindle that jack-o’-lantern flame in your soul too.

Anyway, I’ve got a lot of Midnight Falls dust to brush off my clothes. Until next time, I’ll see you in the fog.

The Los Angeles Haunted Hayride runs most nights in October and every night during the last week until November 2nd, from 7 to 10:30 or 11pm depending on the night. More details and tickets can be found here.

[introvertguide]

West Side Story (1961); AFI #51

The movie that I have spent so much time reviewing has been the absolute classic West Side Story (1961). It is the cinematic version of the Berstein and Sondheim play that was based on the Shakespearean story of Romeo and Juliet. The film was far and away the big winner at the Oscars getting ten awards including: Best Picture, Best Director, Best Supporting Actor, Best Supporting Actress, Best Art Direction, Best Editing, Best Cinematography, Best Sound, Best Score, and Best Costume Design. The AFI awarded it with 3 of the top 100 songs in American cinema (”Somewhere,” “America,” and “Tonight”) and it is considered the 2nd greatest musical. I want to go through the plot of the film briefly and then discuss some of its aspects:

SPOILER ALERT!!!

The movie begins with the toughest gang dance scene ever put to film. There is tension between a white American gang, the Jets, and a Puerto Rican gang, the Sharks. The Jets are led by Riff (Russ Tamblyn) and the Sharks are led by Bernardo (George Chakris). A fight breaks out and Lieutenant Schrank and Officer Krupke arrive and break it up. The Jets decide to challenge the Sharks to a rumble at an upcoming dance for neighborhood control. There is singing.

Riff says that his best friend Tony (Richard Beyman) should fight in the rumble, but Tony now has a job. Riff invites Tony to the dance, but Tony is uninterested. He tells Riff that he senses something important will happen and Riff says that Tony should come to the dance because maybe that is where that important thing will take place. Then there is singing. 

Bernardo's younger sister, Maria (Natalie Wood), is excited to go to the dance because it is her first time going out, almost like a debutant ball. She is harassing Bernardo’s girl friend Anita (Rita Moreno) to make her neckline lower so she can impress at the dance. Once everyone gets there, despite the efforts of the DJ, the different racial groups do not mix and take turns dancing around the center of the room. Tony arrives and he and Maria fall in love at first sight in one of the most strikingly cinematic scenes. Bernardo is not having it and demands that Tony keep away from his sister. At the end of the scene, the gang leaders agree to have a war council at the local drug store.

Maria is sent home in a romantic daze while the rest of the Puerto Rican gang and their girlfriends dance on the roof and compare Puerto Rico and the US in a lovely rooftop dance. There is lots of singing. 

Tony discreetly visits Maria on her fire escape, where they reaffirm their love. There is singing and it is very similar to the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet. Side note, Maria keeps telling Tony to be quiet but they are both belting out their love for each other. Very silly. Krupke, who suspects the Jets are planning something, visits the drug store and tells the Jets to keep clean. After Krupke leaves, the gang has a rather long song and dance number explaining why their behavior is not their fault. When the Sharks arrive, both groups agree to have the showdown the following evening under the highway, with a one-on-one fist fight. Schrank shows up and tells the Sharks to leave then askes the Jets to tell where the rumble will be so that Schrank can protect them. The gang reveals nothing about the fight. 

Maria is on cloud nine the next day at work and goes on about feeling like the prettiest girl in the world. There is singing. Anita accidentally tells Maria about the rumble. Tony arrives to see Maria, which shocks Anita. The couple admits that they are in love and Anita warns them about the consequences if Bernardo learns of their relationship. Maria makes Tony promise to prevent the rumble and the couple fantasize about their wedding ceremony. There is more singing. 

The Jets and Sharks approach the area under the highway. Tony arrives to stop the fight, but Bernardo antagonizes him, trying to bait Tony into a fight. Unwilling to watch Tony be humiliated, Riff initiates a knife fight. Tony tries to intervene, which leads to Bernardo killing Riff. Tony see his best friend dead and kills Bernardo with Riff's knife. Police sirens blare and everyone flees, leaving behind the dead bodies.

Maria waits for Tony on the rooftop of her apartment building when the boy that Bernardo had wanted her to date, Chino (Jose De Vega), arrives and tells her what happened. Tony arrives later and relates his side of the story and asks for her forgiveness before he turns himself in to the police. Maria is upset about her brother but does not want to lose Tony so she asks him to stay with her.

The Jets assemble outside a garage with a new leader and decide that they need to lay low in case they run into the police. There is singing. The idea of the number is that they need to play it cool, but the members keep spazzing out like they can’t hold in their rage. 

Tony and Maria arrange to meet at Doc's, where they will pick up getaway money to elope. Anita goes to see Maria and sees Tony running away. She is angry about Tony but agrees to help them since Maria loves Tony like Anita had loved Bernardo. 

Schrank arrives and questions Maria about the rumble. Tony is waiting at Doc’s drug store and she can’t leave, so Maria has Anita go to the drug store in her place to tell Tony that Maria is detained from meeting him. When Anita reaches Doc's, the Jets harass her until Doc intervenes. Anita declares that Bernardo was right about them and that Chino killed Maria. Doc banishes the Jets and gives Tony his getaway money in the basement and delivers Anita's message. Tony runs into the streets, shouting for Chino to kill him as well. 

In the playground next to Doc's, Tony spots Maria and they run toward each other, only for Chino to shoot Tony. The Jets and Sharks arrive to find Maria holding Tony, who dies. Maria stops the gangs from fighting and takes the gun from Chino and threatens to shoot everyone, blaming their hate for the deaths. Schrank, Krupke and Doc arrive and the gangs form a funeral procession, with Maria following. The police arrest Chino and lead him away. There is no singing.

This film stays very close to its roots and follows the timing beats of Romeo and Juliet almost spot on. Tony is Romeo, Maria is Juliet, Riff is Mercutio, Bernardo is Tybalt, Anita replaces the role of the Nurse, and Doc is the Friar. There is a lot less singing in the Shakespeare play. The opening fight scene, the balcony scene, the death of Mercutio by Tybalt, the revenge of Romeo. The story is all there. All are punished.

I try very hard not to be topical with these reviews, but I wanted this to come out before a 2019 remake was finished. Steven Spielberg is directing so it will likely do well and I did not want to have to delineate between the two by constantly referencing the year. 

There is only one gripe I have with the film and that is the two lead actors. Tony does not seem like a tough guy who is won over by love and Maria is played by Natalie Wood in dark make-up. Neither of them are very good dancers and apparently neither of them could sing because both of them were dubbed completely for any singing sequences. But everything else is so vibrant and beautiful with spectacular music and dance sequences. The film is cinematically appealing with huge crane shots that show these massive scenes. The film could have put just about anybody as the lead and it would still have been fantastic, it is too bad there weren’t actors cast who could have elevated the role.

I want to point out again the scene where the star crossed lovers meet at the dance hall and how it is so beautifully cinematic. The two see each other and everything around them becomes dull and fuzzy. Only the faces are in focus. The music goes from blasting brass and super expressive dancing of all the people in the hall to just the couple dancing to light woodwinds very slowly and sweetly. It is exquisitely shot. The music then catches up and Bernardo steps in to break up the meeting. It is only about two minutes of run time, but it is one of my favorite bits of cinema that I have ever seen.

I have made fun of how strange the dancing is with the serious tone of the film (the intro fight scene, the “play it cool” number, the knife fight that looks like a dance number), but the incongruous actions add a charm that I absolutely love. I tried to get some of my housemates to sit down and watch the film with me and they were having none of it. I told them that one of the main characters was Russ Tamblyn who played the weird doctor in Twin Peaks, but they did not care. I told them the film had white actress Natalie wood basically in brown face. Nothing. I even threw in the “Beat It” video style knife fight and I still got nothing. So I watched alone. I still loved it.

The question of whether or not this should be on the AFI list is not much of a question: Of course. It is a beautiful story and a beautiful movie. It won 10 Oscars. It adapted Shakespeare’s great tragedy and set it in New York. The whole concept is pure genius. Would I recommend it? I would say that if you haven’t seen it then you need to go out right now and find it. It is referenced in so many things that not seeing it means you are missing out. The depth that this movie is ingrained in Americana is staggering. It is political, it is sweet, it is fun, and it is a tragedy. Managing all these things puts it in my top 10 of all time. 

[falloutdialogue]

Codsworth Dialogue (Long Post

In the Chinese Submarine

[Doesn't like the idea of helping a Chinese Ghoul] Sir/Mum, I do hope you know what you're doing helping this... captain.

[impressed, but not too happy about it] An impressive bit of machinery... for communist wankers.

Hmph. I suppose the red bastards deserve some credit for the state of this submarine.

Cleaning

I can hardly believe a place like this actually exists. I don't even feel the urge to clean.

Watch your step, sir/mum. So much dirt and debris. I can't imagine how long it'd take to sweep this place out.

[Seeing an office with chairs arranged in a circle] I've the most incredible urge to rearrange those chairs in a more perfect circle.

This room's a sight for sore sensors. I wonder who's been keeping it up all this time.

Can it be? A residence untouched by time?

Hubris Comics

Looking for the next issue of Grognak, sir/mum?

[excited at first. Then a little less impressed - Finding the Silver Shroud sound stage] Why, it's the Silver Shroud sound stage. My, but it's... low budget.

USS Constitution

[USS Constitution] This ship looks quite the mystery. Run aground on a bank and not a scratch on her!

Oh yes. Nothing to see here but a ship stuck in a skyscraper.

Trinity Towers/Height

[At the top] Please tell me we're heading back down.

[At the top] Oh my. Mum, please tell me we're heading back down.

[Looking up at a tall building] Please tell me we aren't going to the top. I can't imagine what the years have done to this building's stability.

[Quarry is drained to reveal it’s very deep] Oh my, that was really quite deep.

[Looking up at a tall building] Please don't tell me we're going all the way up there, sir/mum? I can already feel my acrophobia taking hold.

I do hope this overpass holds out long enough for us to get back down... safely, I should say.

Have I mentioned I'm afraid of heights? Especially ones with ramshackle crumbly bits?

Seeing the Player’s Dead Spouse

Sir/Mum, I'm... I'm so sorry.

[Worried at first... Then realizes it's the body of the player's spouse] Oh dear, is that... sir/mum?

Combat Zone

[Behind the scenes in the combat zone] Quite the theatrical set up back here. I can only imagine the elaborate plays that were performed here.

A cage? How uncivilized.

Gwinnet Brewery

[Disgusted] I'd be very dubious of the quality here. Sanitation looks to be at an all time low.

[Jokingly at first, trails off into a bit of worry at the end] Up for a tour of the ol' brewery, sir/mum? I can't imagine they charge... although I can't vouch for the safety either.

Miscellaneous Nervous/Disgusted/Cautioning

I can't imagine anything friendly is hiding down here.

Quite disturbing down here, is it not?

By Jove!

[Looking at a pool filled with radioactive waste and spewing up small geysers] That's an unfortunate water feature for you.

Sir/Mum, I'm picking up the sounds of a fairly... large creature taking a snooze. Best be on the quiet side.

I'm guessing we won't find a welcome mat here.

What is it about empty tourist attractions that can be so haunting?

Moments like this make me thankful I've no stomach.

Looks like the "mystery meat" mystery has been solved... Just goes to show, some things are better left unanswered.

I say, Vault-Tec really does enjoy crossing the line, don't they? Watching these poor souls like animals in a lab.

[concerned more for himself then the player, near water] Heading in, are we, sir? Just... try not to fall overboard.

Sir/Mum, I'm picking up dangerously high levels of radiation. Best not linger here if you value your health.

[Seeing a raider stronghold at the end of a tunnel] Oh, this is where we turn around, right, sir/mum? 

[Seeing a large crater] Watch your step, sir/mum. Don't want to topple in unexpectedly.

[Inside an old water turbine] Sir/Mum, I do hope you're certain this turbine is no longer functional. The implications if it were to turn on are... not good.

Quite a novel idea, building a ramshackle town on an overpass. Especially if you hate yard work.

[Hearing a voice from a fridge] Sir/Mum, I do believe that fridge requires your attention.

Sir/Mum, no matter what may befall us, I hope suicide is never an answer you seek.

Sarcastic/Joking

Ah, another fine mess of a parking garage. I wonder what awaits us this time. 

If I'm not mistaken, and my database says I'm not, that's a pyramid.

Just another welcoming and friendly neighborhood in the Commonwealth.

Are we going in there, sir/mum? You know how much I love water.

[In a hospital]  Look, sir/mum, no wait. Medical miracles do exist.

[Looking at a settlement built in a nuke crater] Ah yes, the moment I see a nuclear crater, I think, "Home, sweet home."

Ah yes, nothing like cozying up to a barrel of nuclear waste for the night.

This place is just full of charm, isn't it?

[In an old bowling alley] Fancy a game, sir/mum? Something tells me the bumpers are no longer available.

[Seeing a crane you could walk on to reach an above highway] Feel like taking the high road? It appears that crane can get us there.

[In a sniper’s nest after killing the sniper.] With a view like this, it's a wonder we're still alive. Either that or our late friend here shouldn't have quit his day job.

Ah nothing like the warm glow of a fusion reactor, wouldn't you agree, sir/mum?

[Watching raiders and synths fight in a subway] Never a dull moment in the subway stations.

[Finding a lighthouse lit up by glowing ones] That's one way to light up your lighthouse.

At least radio is still alive these days. I wonder if they'll ever manage to revive the telly.

[At the bottom of an irradiated crater filled with feral ghouls] And of course the crater comes with its own welcoming party of Feral Ghouls.

Looks like these Raiders became quite the Feral feast.

[In the storage room of a blood bank] This must be the clinic's storage. Bloody impressive, wouldn't you say, sir/mum.

An ideal spot for some light camping, I'd say. Minus the mirelurks, of course.

[In a hidden room where a bomb was being made] That's one "do it yourself" project I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole.

Up for a bit of sport, sir/mum? I could give you quite the run for your money.

[Looking up at a giant Mister Handy Statue] Ah General Atomics. Only the topmost quality in consumer robotics.

Ah a secret, underground base! Right out of the ol' spy novel, wouldn't you say, sir/mum?

[At an old car factory] Ah the Corvega. I like to think of it as a distant cousin.

[Encountering Super Mutants wearing sailor hats.] Who'd have thought Super Mutants fancied a bit of dress up.

Robot Racing

Ah the nerve center of this charade. Sir/Mum, I beg you to shut this place down.

I say! General Atomics' finest, reprogrammed as simple... race horses for bloody Raiders? Appalling!

[halloweeneveryday]

Perks of the job

So I used to live in a big house (6 Bedrooms, 4 bath, basement, etc.) by myself. I was there as a hiring perk and to look after the place for my boss who lived out of state but owned the home, one of those win-win situations. The first couple of month were fine, but when winter came I started hearing things coming from the second floor. (I lived pretty much exclusively on the 1st floor) It started with little bumps and bangs coming from above where I had my computer set up and progressed to distinct footsteps coming and going across the 2nd floor.

I had been up to the second floor to check up on it from time to time and I knew that there were unfinished areas up there. One place always stuck out- an unfinished room that was a sort of walk-in closet for one of the upstairs bedrooms. It was attached to the garage attic (complete unlit). It was open when I went up to investigate the noises. I shut the door- and locked it.

Two nights later, more noises. Footsteps- leading from unfinished room to the bathroom- then nothing. The worst part- the door. The door that led to the unfinished room would not stay closed or locked. I tried everything. Eventually I pushed the bed up against the door to keep it from opening. That seemed to work , a few months went by without the door coming open, but I would find it unlocked all the time.

As time passed- I would hear noises all over the house. Mostly footsteps, but the occasional THUMP with no explanation. I cannot explain how horrifying it is to hear little taps up and down the hall from the other side of a bathroom door during your morning shower.

I eventually moved out- but another employee moved in to take my place. His stay there only lasted about a month. The story he told me is that he was shaving one morning before work an d he heard a SLAM like someone dropped a heavy stack of books right outside his bedroom door, then heavy footsteps like someone running down the hall. He won't stay there anymore and no one in the company will live in the house.

source: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/a6zizm/serious_redditors_who_have_lived_in_a_haunted/ebzkqbv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x

[bahamutgreen]

A hyper analysis of the Mario Stages in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

Hey I took the liberty of spending too much time of my life going through some of the Mario stages in Ultimate to find pretty scenes and interesting secrets. I go through each stage one by one in this MASSIVE text post so it’s all hidden under this readmore link! Enjoy the post if you have the time and energy to read it all, haha!!

Super Smash Bros. 64 (2 stages)

Peach’s Castle

As one might expect, the Smash 64 stages don’t have too much to talk about. But I tried to find as much as I could! For starters, here’s a very pretty scenic shot of the background, which is a bird’s eye view of the starting area in Super Mario 64.

Secondly, there are these trees, which are taken directly from Super Mario 64 smushed down a little bit, and had the colors desaturated a bit.

And, just for fun: This isn’t the first time this tree appears on the Nintendo Switch, as this same tree sprite was used in the recreation of the courtyard in Odyssey!

Mushroom Kingdom

Again, not much to talk about but hey here’s something everyone already knows: You can see the blast zones in this stage. I believe this is actually in each iteration of this stage (64, Melee, Ultimate) I also think the fake 2D pipe is a little interesting to look at. It doesn’t blend in very well but it’s cute.

You can also get a glimpse of how far down the vines and mushrooms go

And lastly, here’s a picture of the cute Buzzy Beetle on a spring. Rumor has it that this was added in by a developer without permission in the N64 version? I don’t know if that’s true but it’s a neat story. Also, Buzzy Beetles don’t usually appear above ground, so there’s some trivia for you

Super Smash Bros. Melee (4 Stages)

Princess Peach’s Castle

This is the first stage to get an HD remaster! Look at the beautiful recreation of the Peach Mural in front of the castle!

You can also see the bridge over Peach’s Moat, which I don’t think you could see before

Also, this isn’t intentional and is surely a coincidence but if you clip under Peach’s castle, it looks like there’s a hole in the water which is almost what it looks like if you clip under Peach’s Castle in Super Mario Odyssey.

Lastly, here’s a nice scenic shot of the waterfall behind the castle

Rainbow Cruise

So, this stage opens up with a really beautiful scenic shot. And to the left of the lake, you can see a little town! This was also in the original Melee version of this stage.

Interestingly, if you move the camera you can see that the whole stage is already loaded while you’re on the airship, and the airship is actually stationary.

Yoshi’s Island

OKAY this is a Yoshi Stage cause it’s based on Dinosaur Land but it comes from Super Mario World which is a Mario game so I’m putting it here.

The walk off part of the level actually has grass on it

And the level has been updated to have cute New Super Mario Bros. flowers!

And this stage has cute 2 paintings of the Sprites from Super Mario World AND a shot of nice HD Yoshi Fruit. These fruits have a much more berry or persimmon look in modern Mario titles but the apple look isn’t too far off.

Mushroom Kingdom II

A sequel to the first Mushroom Kingdom Stage, this doesn’t have a lot to talk about either but there is some stuff! It looks very pretty with the All-Stars sprites

And if you look, the tops of the platforms are just a very... neat looking solid green color

And you can even get a peek at where the stage’s background cuts off!

Super Smash Bros. Brawl (4 stages)

Delfino Plaza

My favorite Smash Bros. Stage ever! I love all the detail put into this stage, particularly all the stages you can see from the plaza itself. Like Ricco Harbor and Bianco Hills

Pinna Park and Sirena Beach

And even the Airstrip!

There’s also tons of cute details in the Plaza, like the manhole covers and the overhang that contains the Pachinko stage!

Even the open windows have been updated to have fully rendered rooms inside them! Although the camera can’t zoom in very far to see them.

And here’s a fun glitch, you can clip the camera underwater just like clipping Mario under the water in the original Sunshine!

Also I noticed that the fire from Mario’s Final Smash leaves a special burning effect behind when it touches grass

Mushroomy Kingdom

The spinoff to Mushroom Kingdoms I&II, it has a TON of fantastic visual detail. Being a realistic, worn down reimagining of the original 1-1

You’ll notice in the last one that the pipes have covers on them, so you can’t enter them. The castle itself also has a fantastic visual wear and tear

Here’s a cute detail! 6 blocks away from this pipe is a hidden box. Just like the original Super Mario Bros.! In the original game it had a hidden 1-up inside!

Also here’s a nice shot I got of Mario grabbing the flag pole!

Figure-8 Circuit

Most people already know this but you can almost see the full track just out of reach of the screen

You might notice a cute garage and even stands for the audience! However, the stands are filled with humans instead of Mario characters. I think they’re recycled from the Punch Out arena stage. But there’s a screen that keeps track of where the Shyguys are in real time! Neat!

Speaking of which, here’s a close up on the Shyguys. They use the Standard SG Kart just as they would when playing multiplayer mode with 1 cartridge in Mario Kart DS. Which is where Figure-8 Circuit comes from, of course.

Lastly, one of my favorite details in this track is it’s use of Mario aesthetics and platforms as set pieces to build the environment. You can see large mushrooms, hills, checkered floors, and the block platforms seen in Mario Bros. 3!

Luigi’s Mansion

A really nice detail in this stage is that all the rooms you can see are actual rooms from Luigi’s Mansion! In order, left to right, top then bottom, the rooms are: Nursery, Foyer (1F), Study, Kitchen, Foyer, Ballroom.

And by stepping out of the Mansion you get a good look at the front!

But don’t worry, you can still see the cross section if you turn the camera

Some other cute details include the well where you first see Mario’s fate in Luigi’s Mansion, there’s a lot of tombstones around the mansion which take designs from Luigi’s Mansion’s graveyard. And even the chimneys at the top of the mansion are right where they should be!

And lastly here’s some of the Boos that spawn when you destroy chunks of the mansion

Mario Bros.

I only have one thing to talk about with this stage, and it’s that the POW Block has a strange amount of detail to it. It’s updated with this cool, cybernetic design.

Super Smash Bros. for Nintendo 3DS (3 Stages)

3D Land

This stage is GORGEOUS, in my opinion. Here’s some good shots that show the detail of blocks, flip panels, Peach’s castle, and spike pillars, all with their 3D Land designs

You can also see a little visual thing where this mountain isn’t exactly in the water

An interesting developer trick is that when you go into the pipe to restart the stage, tilting the camera will show you that almost the whole stage unloads around you

And now... Here’s just a ton of really pretty scenic shots I got from this level. I just think it’s a really nice looking stage. It also does a good job of incorporation Mario elements and platforms into the environments.

okay I’m done sorry

Golden Plains

Some really nice recreations of Mario props in this stage. Here’s the 3 types of coins that appear in the stage, Gold, Red, and Blue. Gold/Blue count as 1 and Red counts as 5.

The little sign at the bottom appears when the stage starts scrolling. Also here’s some other Mario set pieces.

Also this stage isn’t as pretty as 3D Land, it does have some nice background shots

And here’s a screenshot of the stage gimmick, getting 100 coins will turn you into a gold version of your fighter!

Paper Mario

this is another stunning stage to look at. The detail in the paper and crafts are so amazing. 

In the first area, based on Hither Thither Hill, if you look to the side the walk off part of the stage actually has the same walk off between areas that Paper Mario games have!!

Here’s a close up of the fan

The 2nd area, based on the S.S. Flavion, has a super cute references to the reoccuring Big Blooper bosses in Paper Mario and the Whale from Paper Mario 64

The 3rd area, based on Bowser’s Castle in Sticker Star, is just pretty. And when the stage transitions back to the 1st area it actually closes like a story book, how cute!!

Super Smash Bros. for Nintendo Wii U (4 Stages)

Mushroom Kingdom U

A really underrated stage in my opinion. This is the most recent entry in the Mushroom Kingdom series of stages, based on the New Super Mario Bros. series this time. The first area, based on Acorn Plains, has some very cute environments in it.

You can even see trees containing Super Acorns, which naturally grow in this area! The 2nd area is based on the Meringue Clouds world. It’s so pretty and I even got a shot of the icicles that fall periodically through this stage. Sadly I couldn’t get the beanstalk to spawn? Maybe it’s not in Ultimate’s version of the stage. But I don’t know.

The next area is based on the games’ fortress stages! It has REALLY complex machinery for the center platforms, and you can even move the camera to see down the tower. It’s a LONG drop. I also got close ups of the multiplying blocks

The final area is based on Sparkling Waters and Rock-Candy Mines. It has pretty backdrops and sea urchins!

Lastly, some nice pictures of Kamek!

And Nabbit! Who, interestingly, has a visual glitch on his bag. The top of the Mushroom emblem is incorrectly doubled right underneath it.

Mario Galaxy

Another super pretty stage. It has gorgeous set pieces

Here’s a closeup of Starship Mario and one of Bowser’s airships. Starship Mario has Lubba, the Lumas, and all the trimmings. The airship doesn’t seem to have many crew members, though.

And here’s a closeup of a falling starbit

Mario Circuit

This, like Figure-8 Circuit, is a recreation of Mario Kart 8′s Mario Circuit. It has all the same details (minus an audience to watch)

Also, some of the towers you land on have staircases that go a lot further than you’d think

And lastly, here’s a close up of the shyguy racers. They’re now decked out with the Standard Kart design from Mario Kart 8. If you look closely, the Shyguy’s clothes are also far more detailed than the Shyguys in Figure-8 Circuit.

Super Mario Maker

This is a neat stage because it can shift artstyles mid battle. Here’s a picture of the 4 art styles: Super Mario Bros., Super Mario Bros. 3, Super Mario World, and New Super Mario Bros. U!

I also got some shots of the hands that will appear to fix parts of the stage you break during combat! I’m sure there’s more hands but we do have human hands, animal hands, and Mario hands!

Mario also has a cute Mario Maker alt. to go along perfectly with this stage!

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate (1 Stage)

New Donk City Hall

We finally made it! Here’s the end of this massive, way too long post! Here’s some nice shots of the city, a shot of the park, and I even tried getting most of the sky scraper in one shot

Here’s some nice shots of the Odyssey! You’ll notice it has 21 Power Moons, as the official art for the Odyssey has. But it actually takes 55 Power Moons to reach the Metro Kingdom.

Some bonus stuff: A lightbulb, the New Donk City players (plus poster), and even a shot that shows how much of New Donk City was rendered.

And look! It’s Captain Toad!!! I love this fella so much!

His arm looks very weird and long when he puts it in front of his face. But you wouldn’t notice that during normal gameplay anyway

And now... I have no other way of saying this. I have a million shots of Pauline. She’s so gorgeous. I love her so much.

A really nice detail about this is that we get a good shot of Pauline’s back! You don’t get a good look in Odyssey because when you get to her during the festival the camera is locked.

AAAAAAND that’s it! That’s all the little snacks and secrets I found in the Mario stages. This was very fun and very tiring. I hope you enjoyed what I found. I know there’s a ton more stuff I missed. I do also have screenshots from the Mario spinoffs, like Donkey Kong, Yoshi, and Wario. So if people wanna see that too I can share them. But hey, for right now. I’m going to sleep. Let me know if you wanna see the spinoff stages or if I should share nicer quality pictures of the environments. That’s all for today. See ya later!