#first one: i worked at mcdonald's for a while as a teenager. that comic was about knocking the mop bucket over after done mopping :(

[liar-remastered-2011]

evolution of my fursona

[peakespages]

Write-Up: Relish by Lucy Knisely

As someone who loves comics, I occasionally find myself wondering what kind of books I’d recommend to a friend who, for whatever reason, isn’t a comics-reader. Comics, after all, are much more than the superhero stories which remain a cornerstone of the medium, and Lucy Knisley’s Relish is one of the first books I’d recommend to someone who might think comics are all colourful costumes and world-ending dilemmas.

Knisely has built a career over the past decade or so as a graphic memorist, basing comics around periods of her own life. Her works include books on being a (relatively) carefree twenty-something (An Age of License), marriage (Something New) and pregnancy (Kid Gloves), and while these books each focus on a specific segment of Knisley’s life, Relish: My Life in the Kitchen (to give its full title), moves through different points of Knisley’s childhood and adolescence, with each chapter focusing on a different meal or type of food.

We learn that Knisley, as the child of a gourmet father and caterer mother, grew up with a special connection to food, and we see how many of her memories of her formative years were burnished by a specific meal, recipe or encounter with the world of food. An illicit trip to McDonalds while visiting Rome with her father. Chocolate-chip cookies, made with eggs from the tough chickens on the rural farm Knisely and her mother moved to following her parents’ divorce. Sushi sampled when visiting a teenage friend whose family moved to Japan. Knisley’s writing, which sometimes covers some very personal memories, is honest and thoughtful, and her love for food is clear in every page of her bright, unfussy illustration.

What’s more is that Knisley includes an illustrated recipe at the end of each chapter, so that the encouraged reader may attempt to recreate her mother’s sauteed mushrooms or authentic Mexican huevos rancheros, thereby bringing Knisely’s memories to life in a way that few auto-biographies can hope to emulate. I’ll admit this post might benefit from some photos of my own attempts to create the meals Knisley describes, but unfortunately, unlike our author, I’m a bit of a slouch in the kitchen. Maybe I’ll try those mushrooms one day!

[brawltogethernow]

So, I don't think I've ever asked you this... what IS the whole point of the Spider-Sense? It really seems like something that only exists for writers to ignore or work around when they want to inject Legit Tension into a story.

I’ve thought about this power so much, but never with an eye to defend its right to exist, so I needed to think about this. The results could be more concise.

Ironically, given the question, I have to say its main purpose is to ramp up tension. But it’s also a highly variable multitool that a skilled creative team can use for...pretty much anything. It does everything the writer wants it to, while for its wielder always falls just short of doing enough.

I went looking through my photos for a really generic, classic-looking example to use as an image to head this topic, but then I ran into the time Peter absolutely did not reimburse this man for his stolen McDonald’s, so have that instead.

A Scare Chord, But You Can Draw It

That one post that says the spider-sense is just super-anxiety isn’t, like, wrong. It’s a very anxious, dramatic storytelling tool originally designed for a very anxious, dramatic protagonist. I find it speaks to the overall tone of the franchise that some characters are functionally psychics, but with a psychic ability that only points out problems.

Spidey sense pinging? There’s danger, be stressed! Broken? Now the lead won’t even KNOW when there’s a problem, scary! Single character is immune to it? That’s an invisible knife in the dark oh my god what the fuck what the fU--

Like its counterpart in garden variety anxiety, the only time the spider-sense reduces tension is in the middle of a crisis. But in the wish fulfillmenty way that you want in an adventure story to justify exaggerated action sequences, the same way enhanced strength or durability does. Also like those, it would theoretically make someone much safer to have it, but it exists in the story to let your character navigate into and weather more dangerous situations.

For its basic role in a story, a danger sense is a snappy way to rile up both the reader and the protagonist that doesn’t offer much information beyond that it’s time to sit smart because shit is about to go down.

Spidey comic canon is all over the board in quality and genre, and it started needing to subvert its formulas before the creators got a handle on what those formulas even were, and basically no one has read anything approaching most of it at this point, so for consistent examples of a really bare bones use of this power in storytelling, I’d point to the property that’s done the best job yet of boiling down the mechanics of Spider-Man to their absolute most basic essentials for adaptation to a compelling monster of the week TV series.

Or as you probably know it, Danny Phantom. DON’T BOO, I’M RIGHT.

DP is Spider-Man with about 2/3 of the serial numbers filed off and no death (ironically), and Danny’s ghost sense is the most proof in the formula example of what the spidey sense is for: It’s a big sign held up for the viewer that says, “Something is wrong! Pay attention!” Effectively a visual scare chord. It’s about That Drama. And it works, which won it a consistent place in the show’s formula. We’re talking several times an episode here.

So why does it work?

It’s a little counterintuitive, but it’s strong storytelling to tell your audience that something bad is going to happen before it does. A vague, punchy spoiler transforms the ignorant calm before a conflict into a tense moment of anticipation. ...And it makes sure people don’t fail to absorb the beginning of said conflict because they weren’t prepared to shift gears when the scene did. Shock is a valuable tool, too, but treating it like a staple is how you burn out your audience instead of keeping them engaged. Not to go after an easy target, but you need to know how to manage your audience’s alarm if you don’t want to end up like Game of Thrones.

The limits of the spider-sense also keep you on your toes when handled by a smart writer. It tells Peter (everyone’s is a little different, so I’m going to cite the og) about threats to his person, but it doesn’t elaborate with any details when it’s not already obvious why, what kind, and from what. And it doesn’t warn him about anything else-- Which is a pretty critical gap when you zoom out and look at his hero career’s successes and failures and conclude that it’s definitely why he’s lived as long as he has acting the way he does, but was useless as he failed to save a string of people he’d have much rather had live on than him.

(Any long-running superhero mythos has these incidents, but with Peter they’re important to the core themes.)

And since this power is by plot for plot (or because it’s roughly agreed it only really blares about threats that check at least two boxes of being major, immediate, or physical), it always kicks in enough to register when the danger is bearing down...when it’s too late to actually do anything about it if “anything” is a more complex action than “dodge”.

Really? Not until the elevator doors started to open?

That Distinctive, Crunchy Spider Flavor

The spider-sense and its little pen squiggles go hand in hand with wallcrawling (and its unique and instantly identifiable associated body language) to make the Spider-Person powerset enduringly iconic and elevate characters with it from being generic mid-level super-bricks. Visually, but also in how it shapes the story.

I said it can share a narrative role with super strength. But when you end a fight and go home, super strength continues to make your character feel powerful, probably safer than they’d be otherwise, maybe dangerous.

The spider-sense just keeps blaring, “Something’s wrong! Something’s wrong! God, why aren’t you doing something about this!?”

Pretty morose thing to live with, for a safety net! Kind of a double edged sword you have there! Could be constantly being hyperattuned to problems would prime you for a negative outlook on life. Kind of seems like a power that would make it impossible for a moral person to take a day off, leading them into a beleaguered and resentful yet dutiful attitude about the whole superhero gig! Might build up to some of the core traits of this mythos, maybe! Might lead to a lot of fifteen minute retirement stories, or something. Might even be a built in ‘great responsibility’ alarm that gets you a main character who as a rule is not going to stop fighting until he physically cannot fight anymore.

Certainly not apropos of anything, just throwing this short lived barely-a-joke tagline up for fun.

One of my personal favorite things about stories with superpowers is keeping in mind how they cause the people who have them to act in unusual ways outside of fights, so when you tell me that these people have an entire extra sense that tells them when the gas in their house is leaking through a barely useful hot/cold warning system that never turns off, I’m like, eyes emojis, popcorn out, notebook open, listening intently, spectacles on, the whole deal.

It also contributes to Peter Parker’s personality in a way I really enjoy: It allows him to act like an irrational maniac. When you know exactly when a situation becomes dangerous and how much, normal levels of caution go out the window and absolutely nothing you do makes sense from an exterior standpoint anymore. That’s the good shit. I would like to see more exploration of how the non-Parker characters experiencing the world in this incredibly altered way bounce in response.

It’s also one of many tools in this franchise hauling the reader into relating more closely with the main character. The backbone of classic Spidey is probably being in on secrets only Peter and the reader know which completely reframe how one views the situation on the page. It’s just a big irony mine for the whole first decade. A convenient way to inform the reader and the lead that something is bad news that’s not perceivable to any other characters is youth-with-a-big-exciting-secret catnip.

Another point for tension, there, in that being aware of danger is not synonymous with being able to act on it. If there’s no visible reason for you to be acting strange, well...you’re just going to have to sit tight and sweat, aren’t you? Some gratuitous head wiggles never hurt when setting up that type of conflict.

Have I mentioned that they look cool? Simultaneously punchy and distinctive, with a respectable amount of leeway for artists to get creative with and still coming up with something easily recognizable? And pretty easy to intuit the meaning of even without the long-winded explanations common in the days when people wrote comics with the intent that someone could come in cold on any random issue and follow along okay, I think, although the mechanic has been deeply ingrained in popular culture for so long that I can’t really say for sure.

It was also useful back in the day when no artists drew the eyes on the Spider-Man mask as emoting and were conveying the lead’s expressions entirely through body language and panel composition. If you wiggle enough squiggles, you don’t need eyebrows.

Take This Handwave and Never Ask Me a Logistical Question Again

This ability patches plot holes faster than people can pick them open AND it can act as an excuse to get any plot rolling you can think of if paired with one meddling protagonist who doesn’t know how to mind their own business. Buy it now for only $19.99 (in four installments; that’s four installments of $19.99).

Why can a teenager win a six on one fight against other superhumans? Well, the spider-sense is the ultimate edge in combat, duh.

Why can Peter websling? Why doesn’t everyone websling? Well, the spider-sense is keeping him from eating flagpole when he violently flings himself across New York in a way neither man nor spider was ever meant to move.

How are we supposed to get him involved with the plot this week???? Well, that crate FELT dangerous, so he’s going to investigate it. Oh, dip, it was full of guns and radioactive snakes! Probably shouldn’t have opened that!

Yeah, okay, but why isn’t it fixing everything, then? Isn’t it supposed to be why Peter has never accidentally unmasked in front of somebody? ('Nother entry for this section, take a shot.) That’s crazy sensitive! How does he still have any problems!? Is everything bad that’s ever happened to characters with this powerset bad writing!? --Listen, I think as people with uncanny senses that can tell us whether we are in danger with accuracy that varies from incredible to approximate (I am talking about the five senses that most people have), we should all know better than to underestimate our ability to tune them out or interpret them wrong and fuck ourselves up anyway. I honestly find this part completely realistic.

*SLAPS ROOF OF SPIDER-SENSE* YOU CAN FIT SO MANY STORIES IN THIS THING

The spider-sense is a clean branch into...whatever. There is the exact right balance of structure and wishy-washiness to build off of. A sample selection of whatevers that have been built:

It’s sci-fi and spy gadgets when Peter builds technology that can interface with it.

It’s quasi-mystical when Kaine and Annie-May get stronger versions of it that give them literal psychic visions, or when you want to get mythological and start talking about all the spider-characters being part of a grand web of fate.

Kaine loses his and it becomes symbolic of a future newly unbound by constraints, entangled thematically with the improved physical health he picked up at the same time -- a loss presented as a gain.

Peter loses his and almost dies 782 times in one afternoon because that didn’t make the people he provoked when he had it stop trying to kill him, and also because he isn’t about to start “””taking the subway’’””’ “‘’“”to work”””’’” like some kind of loser who doesn’t get a heads up when he’s about to hit a pigeon at 50mph.

Peter’s starts tuning into his wife’s anxiety and it’s a tool in a relationship study.

It starts pinging whenever Peter’s near his boss who’s secretly been replaced by a shapeshifter and he IGNORES IT because his boss is enough of an asshole that that doesn’t strike him as weird; now it’s a comedy/irony tool.

Into the Spider-Verse made it this beautiful poetic thing connecting all the spider-heroes in the multiverse and stacked up a story on it about instant connection, loss, and incredibly unlikely strangers becoming a found family. It was also aesthetic as FUCK. Remember the scene where Miles just hears barely intelligible whispering that’s all lines people say later in the film and then his own voice very clearly says “look out” and then the room explodes?? Fuck!!!!

Venom becomes immune to it after hitchhiking to Earth in Peter’s bone juice and it makes him a unique threat while telling a more-homoerotic-than-I-assume-was-originally-intended story about violation and how close relationships can be dangerous when they go sour.

It doesn’t work on people you trust for maximum soap opera energy. Love the innate tragedy of this feature coming up.

IN CONCLUSION I don’t have much patience for writers who don’t take advantage of it, never mind feel they need to write around it.

[justapayneaway]

It took me a while to compile all these Ziam fics, but here we are with a long list of beautiful stories for everybody that is interested in reading Liam & Zayn fall in love or be in love a lot of times! 

A big shout out to every single fic writer out there in the world... You’re amazing and I thank you every single day for the amazing stories y’all write! 

Enjoy and have a good read ❤️

0k - 20k

There's so Much that We Need to Share by Lovelyziam (1k) The sight of snow didn’t make the cold worth it to Zayn, no. It was this: Liam’s body snug and soft in front of him, pressed tightly to Zayn’s chest while he sat between Zayn’s thighs. It was his arms wrapped around Liam’s waist and their fingers interwoven beneath their pile of blankets. It was the warmth radiating from Liam’s back and slowly seeping into Zayn, making him sleepy and languid despite the freezing press of Liam’s toes against his own.

Sunshine through my window by sunnysideup (2k) Fic idea about Liam being a happy puppy in the sun and Zayn hears him through his window, sees him for the first time and poof, he's in love.

Drive Safe, I Love You by JoMouse (3k) Liam surprises his son with a day at a Motorcycle Bike Show. While there, he finds out about Mini Moto and meets the man who runs a team.

I Know The Sound Of Your Heart by LibbyWrites (7k) Liam always adored the peace and quiet of his neighborhood. Until a new neighbor shows up and turns his world upside down with much more than just loud music.

Most Poetic Ride or Die Death Wish by LetTheMusicMoveYou (10k) Or the one where Niall convinces Liam to join Tinder and a slight miscommunication might make it the best mistake he's ever made.

Get a little bit nervous by louistomlinsons (14k) Ziam farmer's market au where liam, louis, and niall work at the produce stand, harry and zayn work at the bakery stand, and nobody's straight.

Favourite Entertainer by eternallyunleashed (15k) Zayn is a popular YouTuber well known for uploading song covers and original music on his channel and doing podcasts on murder mysteries. He’s amassed a couple million followers and dedicated fanbase. After endless requests from fans, he introduces them to his boyfriend Liam and does the ‘boyfriend does my makeup challenge.'

Just the two of us and a cute little cup of cyanide by orphan_account (17k) An I-accidentally-married-my-best-mate-in-Vegas fic, where Liam's completely oblivious, Zayn's completely in love, Harry's had enough, Louis plays mediator and Niall just wants his best friends to be with each other.

Only Place I Call Home by scottmcniceass (17k) Liam works at a coffee shop; Zayn is a homeless street performer who plays just outside the shop. Sometimes Liam brings Zayn coffee and donuts and in exchange Zayn sings for him.

20k - 40k

We are the quiet ones by englandziam (22k) University AU where Zayn is an English student and Liam is the football captain.

Until you believe it by lizee (23k) Where Zayn and Liam meet at a sixth form party and Zayn offers to tutor him. He doesn't expect himself to fall in love with the kid while he's at it.

Ridiculous by scottmcniceass (24k) They are every cliched high school story. The jock and the rebel. The popular boy and the outsider. They shouldn't fit, and they definitely shouldn't work, but they sort of do anyways.

Wake up the part of me that has fallen asleep by nooelgallagher & yoursongonmyheart (24k) The one where Liam discloses something incredibly personal about his sex life and Louis hatches a plan to help him - which may or may not include Zayn.

Can I Keep You by scottmcniceass (26k) Liam is always trying to do what's best for himself and his daughter, but raising a kid on his own at twenty-two, on top of juggling school work and a full-time job, isn't easy. Zayn just wants a chance to show Liam that he's not going to walk out on them. And Liam's daughter, Emma? She just wants to keep Zayn.

I just can't keep you too far from my thoughts by halleluzayn (28k) The YouTuber AU fic where Zayn is not a beauty vlogger, Liam types like an over excited teenage girl, Louis is a Harry Styles fanboy, Harry is basically Ed Sheeran, and Niall is Liam's video editor that really needs to get laid already.

Down the vista of years by ohthathurt (cloisterrific_221B) (30k) Zayn whispered, “So where do we go from here?”Liam shrugged, seemingly lost in thought. Then he smiled down at his boyfriend, “Forward?”Zayn smiled serenely, eyes twinkling like gold in the sun seeping through the open windows. He nodded, “Forward.”

I'll Be Strong For You by scottmcniceass (30k) When Zayn breaks his leg attempting to skateboard over Harry's car, he ends up stuck in the hospital for two weeks. The only thing he doesn't hate about the hospital is the gorgeous volunteer, Liam, who is almost annoyingly sunny and happy. But Liam's got a secret a secret hidden behind his impossibly bright smile.

It's Always Darkest Before The Dawn by historyziam (30k) At a time in his life when Zayn thinks he has forgotten what genuine happiness feels like, Liam comes into the picture and changes everything.

Somehow I Still Carry On, Burdened By Fears by slashter (31k) Liam's been kidnapped but doesn't remember Zayn and Zayn struggles with loss and love and heartbreak all over again.

You Never Give Up On Me by sunshinexbomb (31k) In which Zayn is an English teacher tempted to write awful poetry about the warm coffee color of Liam's eyes, Liam is a primary ed teacher and single parent who thinks he's too busy to be in a relationship, Niall and Harry are the sickeningly cute newlywed teachers in the school, and Louis is a drama teacher who is not-so-patiently waiting for the day of his own wedding.

The Truth Will Set You Free by loveandbeloved (34k) Zayn wakes up the next day to the news that Liam has taken on the case of the kid, to oppose Zayn and prove that he isn’t a killer.To say he’s pissed beyond belief goes without saying, but somehow he thinks that he should’ve seen this coming.

So let's say, I'll come another day by sophieisgod (36k) Zayn meets Liam in 1999, swinging on the gate in his back yard. Liam meets Zayn in 2010, killing time in McDonald’s on the most important day of his life. They have adventures, conquer the world, and fall in love. A story about fate, timing, free will, wonky genetics, parallel universes, significant tattoos, emotional haircuts, sudden nudity, sex crying, and a Batman t-shirt from HMV.

Be cruel to me ('cause I'm a fool for you) by frenchkiss (37k) The one where Zayn is a stressed out single dad, Liam might just be what he needs, Louis and Niall are always happy to babysit and Harry's a loud snorer.

I’ll never stop choosing you babe, i’ll never get used to you by redsweater (37k) Zayn and Liam are happily married until they're not. 

Twisting to the sun and the moon by orphan_account (37k) (2nd part is also amazing!) Liam has three simple, non-negotiable rules when it comes to one-offs. And he doesn't ever fall for someone he associates with hotel sheets and lust. But this kid, Zayn, twists things inside of him he's not expecting. Suddenly, the rules don't make any sense at all.

My Reflection; All I See Is You by taecheeks (38k) (There is a 2nd part too!) This life, it's forever. That's what being immortal means, but Zayn didn't realize it would take him this long to realize it. What good is forever if nothing else is?

40k - 60k

Every Step by taecheeks (40k) Every step Liam takes, it's for her, Lily. And every path he's journeyed has somehow led him to Zayn.

Here I Stand by StormDancer (40k) Zayn lifts his chin, turns so that he’s facing Harry. He doesn’t look at Liam, because he can’t bear to look, and because he’s really not trying to be mean or pointed. Liam can do what he wants. But Zayn drew a line in the sand a long time ago, and it matters. “I’m not hiding, Haz. This is who I am. They can deal with it.”

You're The Shining Distraction That Makes Me Fly by Romancemesomeziam (40k) Zayn is a recently new single father, falling into his role without ease until Liam, his son's first grade teacher, helps him a little to adapt to the new lifestyle.

Lover Dearest by scottmcniceass (43k) "First rule, babe," Zayn says, leaning down. His lips slide over Liam's jaw, barely there, just a soft pressure, fleeting and gone as soon as it came. "Never trust a vampire."He's grinning as he climbs off Liam, heading for the door. Liam watches him go, thinking that he's wrong. The first rule should be to not fall in love with one.

Some moments are rare by orphan_account (46k) Zayn is spending a summer studying aboard; thirty days across Europe, with his best mate by his side. It's always been like this ― Zayn and Liam. And he's always been a bit daft about love, or the fact that Liam's always been in love with him. It's all a bit of a mess, actually.

Until two and two is three by orphan_account (47k) They're perfect for her, Lily, even if she's their best mates' daughter -- except they hate each other. But life plays out a little comically and a lot tragically sometimes. And Liam will never get over how much he loves Lily or how much he hates Zayn, but they're all she has left now.

Like Peter Pan (Or Superman) by orphan_account (48k) Zayn has spent most of his life up until now in a cloud of smoke, hiding from his past, being different. When a firefighter named Liam rescues him from a fire, Zayn starts to realize maybe Liam's saved his life in another way... and he's not quite sure he's ready to be that guy he should've been all along. But maybe, just for Liam, he can?

Good Thing At a Bad Time by scottmcniceass (49k) Zayn prefers to be on his own. It's easier to survive when you don't have to worry about anyone else. Liam leads a large group of people that have taken residence in an abandoned prison. When Zayn wakes up in a prison cell, all he can think about is finding a way out. Liam makes him want to stay.

It keeps my veins hot (the fire's found a home in me) by loveontherocks (51k) The one where zayn survives a fire and falls in love with the firefighter that saved him.

Not Happening by scottmcniceass (53k) Zayn and Liam are roommates. They hate each other. (Most of the time.)

And you take me the way I am by orphan_account (54k) Liam needs a date to a wedding. His family loves to match him up with blind dates. He doesn't want that. He needs a date... and, well, why not Zayn. Pretending to be boyfriends for a weekend isn't the worst idea he supposes. Liam is horribly wrong.

It's You by happily_missy (56k) Liam is a PA for a famous fashion designer and Zayn is their gorgeous new model. Or the one where Liam is in control of everything except for the fact that he keeps getting hard around Zayn and Zayn refuses to admit that Liam might be everything he's been looking for all along.

Your Lips On Mine by zipplekink (56k) The one where Zayn is a camboy, who likes to think about the fit mechanic with a liking for leather jackets and scruffy beards from uni during his shows. And Liam, the mechanic, who realizes his new roommate is Bradford, the man with the smooth skin covered in tattoos that Liam watches late at night with a hand wrapped around himself.

Face to Face by JoMouse (57k) Liam's fiance lost her ring. Zayn found it in his girlfriend's rucksack. What happens when the ring brings them face to face?

Floating On The Water by scottmcniceass (58k) Liam just wants to get through his last summer working at Malik Resort before University without incident. Of course, life is never that easy, and he ends up getting roped into giving the bosses son, Zayn, swimming lessons. That wouldn't be so bad, if Zayn didn't happen to hate him so much.

Hold on When You Get Love (and Let Go When You Give It) by orphan_account (59k) Where Zayn's studying Lit at Uni and Liam is a construction worker who catches Zayn's eye every day he passes by.

Let Me Drown Slowly by fruityoatey_bahhh (59k) The one where Liam's a prostitute, and Zayn just wants to be kept warm at night.

60k - 80k

These Faded Stars Along Our Horizons by ch3stpaynes (60k) Zayn isn't used to this; the buzzing feeling that comes along with pinched grins, cherry red lips and eyes like Sunday morning coffee. He's used to smogged out cities, not enough oxygen between each breath and perhaps a few spliffs with the boys when the weather isn't absolutely dreadful. And Liam Payne may just flip all of his priorities upside down.

Habits Of The Heart by taecheeks (61k) “I’ll be really good to you,” Liam whispers, sliding an arm under Zayn’s shoulder like he is a pillow. Zayn closes his eyes, remembering when Liam had said those same words to him while laying on his chest before they started dating. The same feeling rattles in his chest, the same uncertainty, the same need for his words to remain true.“I know,” Zayn whispers, massaging his fingers through Liam’s hair. “You always have.”Liam pushes up, brows furrowing together as he stares down at him, the humor in his face turning far more serious. “And I always will, Zayn.”

I See You Babe, But We Are Both Blind by SoftlyandSwiftly (61k) One Direction returns to London for a break from their Take Me Home Tour in August 2013, and after an unfortunate run-in at a coffee shop, Liam and Zayn find themselves in a fake relationship. Except, it ends up not feeling fake at all.

Run For the Woods Now by jmcats (62k) (there are other 3 parts to this one so read them all because they are amazing!) Zayn knows some of the best and worst moments start with one of Louis' ideas. Still, it's almost as if everyone knew where this, his life, was going when Harry and Liam moved into Wagner’s old flat, with that stupid plant sitting in the doorway, and too many cigarettes and Justin Timberlake for any of this to have been one of those classically clichéd love stories.And Zayn doesn't do clichés. Not until Liam, that is.

Some Love Wait Till Its Time by wasp (63k) University!AU where heart-in-the-right place but always-trying-to-save-people Liam Payne meets slightly pretentious hipster Zayn and tries to mend his broken heart.

Keep this love (in a photograph) by carissima (64k) The one where Liam's a fireman, Zayn's a photographer and yeah, there's a calendar shoot or two involved.

The bittersweet between my teeth by gaysubtexts (64k) Liam and Zayn grow up together, louis, niall, and harry tagging along later on. 

According to your heart (my place is not deliberate) by orphan_account (65k) A university-volleyball au in which Zayn hates the game but he does it for a scholarship. And for Louis. And possibly for the new freshman setter who keeps teaching Zayn new things.

The beauty of this mess by orphan_account (67k) Zayn loves this city, loves his boys, loves the salty taste of the surf on his tongue even though he hates the ocean... but he's not expecting to fall in love with Liam and all of his little secrets, too. Not enough to stick around in this sandy city of teenage dreams.

Let's pretend it's love by wafflehood (68k) Pretend!boyfriends fic in which Liam and Zayn get papped while hamming it up for Louis and Eleanor, and management decides the easiest way to deal with the resulting hysteria is to let it run its course.

Simple truths of belonging by soofyahn (68k) Liam spends ten years building the career for himself that he’s always wanted, and spends the same span of time falling out of communication with the one person he can’t reason why he misses. They find each other, again, stumbling around each other for a moment until they fall together in new, unpredictable ways.

Until the End of Time by theyinlove (68k) Zayn Malik lives a pretty decent life. He’s got an incredible family, a nice little place for him and his three sweethearted dogs, an amazing group of friends, and a good, stable job. Aside from the bouts of depression he may occasionally fall into and the intense anxiety he battles, he feels good about where he is in his life. But what do you get when a hunky fireman, who also happens to be a piece of sunshine on earth, walks into a bar? You get a cautious of love man realizing that, shit, maybe some people might be worth the risk of heart break.

The Prince King by ziamhaze (69k) At twenty, Zayn finds himself a widower and single father of one. It takes everything in his power to raise the three month old alone while also keeping up with his budding career as an artist. Five years later and Zayn’s more dedicated than ever to do whatever it takes for the little boy to have a better life than the one he had at his age. When that includes hiring a professional carpenter to build him a treehouse, Zayn finds himself having to figure out how to win the man’s game of cat and mouse before the structure’s complete, or risk missing out on someone who makes him want to spend the rest of his life mixing oil paints together in order to find the exact shade of warmth that the contractor exudes.

These amber words on our fingertips by orphan_account (69k) Zayn's life in London is about one thing — making life perfect for his son. He's still finding himself in this city, with all of the noise and left behind dreams. He needs to focus and Liam is, well, distracting. He's different. Zayn's always liked that word.

These fading scars by lovely_ziam (69k) Vampire!AU in which Liam falls in love with a human.

But the sun comes up instead by blackwayfarers (71k) Zayn Malik, charming and confident fraternity vice-president, meets shy but achingly endearing high schooler Liam Payne at a kegger and everything just goes straight to hell.

The Only One Who Takes You Home by loveandbeloved (71k) The fluffiest stripper AU in which businessman!Zayn and stripper!Liam have a lot of feelings and they both get more than they expected.

Just let me know by SoftlyandSwiftly (72k - this one has two more parts so read them all!) Zayn wakes up in a hospital, eyes blurry and head pounding, only for a doctor to tell him he's lost two years of his life. And if that's not awful enough, something's different with Liam, off like something has changed, and Zayn doesn't understand. Until he does. And then it's somehow worse.

Money Moves by mmaree (74k) A Fake Engagement AU with Boss!Liam and Secretary!Zayn.

Give love a try, one more time by iwasnthere (75k) Zayn groans, "Liam, do you ever get tired of annoying me?""Nope" Liam replies, popping a chip into his mouth. "Because it's cute watching you lie to yourself""Excuse me?" Zayn looks at Liam bemusedly."You're lying to yourself when you say that ‘I annoy you’.” Liam does the quote unquote thing with his fingers, smiling. “Admit it, you like me.""You've been asking me out for the past year and a half,” Zayn states, “the answer you always get is no, and I'm pretending?" he asks incredulously."Yep." Liam grins, "I'll get that yes one day, Zayn." “Keep trying.” Zayn gets out, trying for snappy but it ends up sounding amused. Damn it.

Through the summertime, winter, spring, and fall by taecheeks (77k) They change with the seasons, burning bright during the summer and biting cold during the winter, but that feeling of being in love Zayn found in the summer clings to him through it all.

What We Become by scottmcniceass (78k) “Nervous?”“No.”“It’s okay if you are,” Harry says seriously. “I mean, I know I would be. Like, if there was ever a date that was destined to go bad, it’s probably this one. Werewolf goes on date with the son of a werewolf hunter, who’s also training to be a werewolf hunter when he’s older, while another pack of werewolves are practically massacring the town, and no one has no idea how to stop them. It's not a question of what could go wrong. It's a question of what could possibly go right, and I'm willing to bet the answer to that is nothing."

80k - 100k

Kick, Push by ziamhaze (85k) World champion street skateboarder Zayn Malik has been on top of the sport’s rankings since he turned pro at 15. So when the Olympic Committee announces that skateboarding will be included for the first time at the 2020 Games, he’s thrilled to take on the challenge while representing Great Britain. There’s just one thing standing in between him and adding another title to the record books: his crippling performance anxiety. But when Team GB Skateboarding’s awarded a physiotherapist with an affinity for experimental therapy methods and a crinkly eyed smile, Zayn thinks he might just have found his ticket to bringing home gold.

Pride by iwanttowriteyouafic (86k) The one where Zayn and Liam strike a deal to help each other through their dirtiest nights, but Zayn's perception of alphas may be preventing him from something purer.

Compartment 451 by ziamhaze (88k) Zayn’s a muggleborn wizard whose parents leave him to fend for himself once he’s made aware of his magical abilities. The Payne’s are an open minded wizarding family, who take him in and provide the boy with a loving home before he and their overly excited son Liam, go off to Hogwarts for the first time.

Tunnel Vision by scottmcniceass (90k) In which Zayn is an award-winning popstar with a knack for getting himself in trouble, and Liam is the bodyguard he didn’t want to hire who has a few problems with staying professional.

Z.A.Y.N. by ziamhaze (92k) For six years, international R&B star Liam Payne has topped the charts with his unique, upbeat songs. Even though he’s proud of where he’s gotten himself, he knows he can’t take all the credit; there’s one particular songwriter that goes by the name ‘Icarus Kalim’ that’s played a huge part in his success. Because of the writer’s ability to craft thought provoking tracks that touch Liam in a way he didn’t even know was possible from afar, the celebrity makes a musical exception for ‘Icarus’, buying the man’s songs for himself, even though he swore he would never put his name on something he had no help in creating. But what happens when Liam finally tricks the soulful poet into meeting him after years of not even knowing what the man looks like? Is ‘Icarus’ really all Liam’s made him out to be in his head or will he be unlike anything the singer could’ve ever dreamt up...

Colour my senses cherry red by thilia (96k) Zayn Malik, closeted gay pornstar.

+ 100k

Lost for Words by AGreatPerhaps12 (102k) The one where Liam has a stutter and zero self confidence, and Zayn has a carefully controlled temper (also starring Louis and Harry as that disgustingly-in-love couple and Niall as the only straight guy around, apparently).

Slow and High Tempo by taecheeks (103k) "I just want you, Liam," Zayn whispers, skating his lips across his. "Can I?"Liam's lips part more as Zayn's do, exhaling slightly as Zayn's words sink in. He doesn't understand what they mean, but he knows he meant it when he said Zayn could have anything he wants. His eyes flicker open to stare up at Zayn's dark ones, filled with a warmth that seems to consume Liam as he waits for him to respond. "Yeah, babe."

Deadpool by rorz94 (111k) Zayn Malik, a multi-millionaire good doer/artist, is targeted by a lunatic serial killer for no reason. Enter hot charismatic detective Liam Payne in the investigation of his case. Payne is assigned to protect Mr.Malik as a punishment from his supervisor but Liam does not think it's such a bad punishment to stay close to the attractive young man.

Permanent by scottmcniceass (114k) At twenty-six, Liam has made a name for himself as one of the best football players of his generation. He's in the prime of his game when a car accident threatens to end his career permanently. Depressed and hating the world, Liam heads back to his home town to take some time off and find himself again. He doesn't expect to find life pretty much the way he'd left it eight years ago, and he definitely doesn't expect to find something that might make him want to stay permanently, but that's what he gets.

Hello kisses sweet as wine by xxcaribbean (123k) Zayn doesn’t expect mr. payne to have all the answers, and he certainly hadn’t meant to leave an impression. So, this isn’t really a love story. Well, it shouldn’t be.

Intoxicate Me, Mesmerize Me, Obliterate Me by eternallyunleashed (280k) There was a certain heat obtained from rebellion that even the actual throes of heat never sparked. Keeping up an image of perfection; being the good kid, the perfect son to the Mayor and Chief of Police, the city of Lincoln’s sweetheart omega, it was all taxing to Zayn. Walking the thin line of danger was exhilarating. Was it coincidental that this danger happened to be an attraction to a certain alpha who was none other than the leader of the South Side Vipers gang, who seemed to despise him and the part of town he came from? Probably not. But when had anything ever stopped Zayn?

Can't Help Falling in Love with You by eternallyunleashed (518k) Zayn is an 18 year old just out of high school who is going to start pre-med in NYU in September. Liam is a 26 year old CEO of a major company and also an ex-football player. Their paths cross when Zayn lands an internship at Liam's company thanks to Harry and their lives are completely thrown off balance.

[randomrichards]

BEST MOVIES OF 2020

10)          BORAT SUBSEQUENT MOVIEFILM

It’s a miracle Sacha Baron Cohen could pull off his guerilla comedy style considering how iconic his character is (especially during the COVID-19 Pandemic). Just as surprising is how uncompromising it is with its political commentary and how it never backs away from its deliciously inappropriate humour.

As everyone’s favourite anti-Semitic, misogynist dim bulb reporter (Sacha Baron Cohen) becomes a pariah in his home country, Borat tries to sell his daughter Tutar (Maria Bakalova) to Michael Pence (then later Rudy Giuliani). The result is an endless array of side splitting, cringy moments from convincing a baker to write an anti-Semitic slogan on a cake to Borat attempted disguises to avoid detection.

Not since Buster Keaton has a comic actor pulled such dangerous stunts for a laugh. Cohen puts himself in such risky situations for the sake of his comedy when he hangs around with Qanon nutjobs or barges into a Republican convention dressed as “McDonald Trump.” [1] Well, it’s not just for laughs. As with his earlier works, Cohen uses his guerilla comedy style to expose the ugly side of humanity and America’s complicity in said ugly behavior. A notable theme is the consequences of misinformation. Borat is an instigator and willful idiot for his home country’s propaganda, which makes him an easy target for conspiracy theories. It all comes to a hilarious head when his daughter becomes a rightwing pundit and breaks his heart with holocaust denial.

Maria Bakalova is the film’s breakout star. An unknown actress from Bulgaria, Bakalova matches him every step of the way as the gullible, degraded young woman. She shines in her own hilarious moments when she’s ballroom dancing with a bloody dress or cheering about the joys of masturbating in front of a Republican Meeting.  She also gives the movie a heart as Borat bonds with his daughter and forces him to reevaluate his beliefs.

It’s impossible for the film to reach the same level of impact as the first Borat considering what a surprise phenomenon the original was. But it’s still surprising the sequel was as good as it was without sacrificing its inappropriate humour.

9)            HIS HOUSE

Writer/Director Remi Weekes brings another great addition to the metaphorror genre with His House; a creepy horror flick about a Sudanese refugee couple who find their lives in Britain threatened by the literal demons of their past.

Dilapidated rooms with peeling wallpaper, decaying floors, and malfunctioning lights are a perfect atmosphere for horror, Weekes and his cinematographer Jo Willems takes full advantage of this environment to unsettle the audience. Bol Majur (Sope Dirisu) and his wife Rial Majur (Wunmi Mosaku) find themselves tormented by voices in the walls, and mysterious figures peaking through the crawl spaces. It’s clear these supernatural figures are the manifestations of their trauma.

Weeks contrast the supernatural horror with the real horror they face, which takes the form of an uncaring bureaucracy that sticks them in a dilapidated home in a crumbling neighbourhood with some hostile, indifferent neighbours. It shows how finding a doctor’s office in an unfamiliar land can be as scary as facing ghosts.

You care a lot about these two thanks to Dirisu and Mosaku, who bring a lot of quiet humanity and heart to their characters. You pray for them as they fight for their right to live with dignity after what they’ve been put through.

8)            WOLFWALKERS

British girl/wannabee warrior) Robyn (voiced by Honor Kneafsey) joins her father (Sean Bean) on a trip to a remote Irish village where she encounters Mebh (Evan Whittaker), a wild red-haired girl with the ability to control a pack of wolves. With her father tasked with killing Mebh’s pack, Robyn must find Mebh’s mother and protect the pack from the tyrannical religious fanatic Lord Protector (Simon McBurney) in Tomm Moore’s conclusion to his Irish Folklore trilogy.

The animation is just as gorgeous as Moore’s earlier films The Secret of Kells and The Song of the Sea with his trademark storybook-like animation style. A noticeable difference between the earlier is how deliberately rough the animation looks. There are moments you can see lines and circles that are usually erased when drawing characters. It fits with the wild energy of the characters.

There’re the clear environmental themes of humans encroaching on animal lives and the need to respect nature. Lord Protector believes he needs to dominate the wilderness and the wolves. The villagers in contrast have more respect for the environment but can’t do much under Protector’s rule. So, the wolves are forced to find a new home.

Another theme of this film is the importance of questioning authority and not blindly conforming to social norms. Robyn’s father expects her to train to be a chambermaid while he’s blindly follows Lord Protector’s orders. They keep saying it’s “for the greater good,” but that “greater good” involves the destruction of a wilderness and a denial of one’s true self. It just leaves everyone miserable. And all for a religious fanatic.

It’s a shame Moore’s films don’t get more attention because they have that rare sense of wonder.

7)            NEVER RARELY SOMETIMES ALWAYS & UNPREGNANT (tie)

I’m putting these two films together on the list because they have the same premise of two teen girls travelling across state lines so one of them can get an abortion. What sets them apart is how different they are in styles.

Never Rarely Sometimes Always is a grounded drama about Autumn (Sidney Flanigan) a teenage girl from Pennsylvania who secretly travels with her cousin Skylar (Talia Ryder) to New York to get an abortion without their parents knowing. Writer/director Eliza Hittman avoids melodrama in favour of grounded realism. Flanigan and Ryder keep their performances at a lowkey level to reinforce the realism. Hittman also avoids political moralizing in favour of just presenting a slice of life showcase as the cousins travel to New York, try to find the appropriate procedure for her circumstance, then tries to find the money to get back home. In a way, it makes the little moments more meaningful when Autumn is forced to watch anti-abortion propaganda or when she and Skylar plays at an arcade.

While the former goes for grounded drama, Haley Lu Richardson’s Unpregnant bears a closer resemblance to comedic road movies like National Lampoon’s Vacation and Planes, Trains & Automobiles. This time, popular teen Veronica (Haley Lu Richardson) enlists the help (and the car) of social outcast/former friend Bailey (Barbie Ferreira) to drive from Missouri to Albuquerque to get the procedure without her parents knowing. The result is a chaotic road trip with the two crashing a few cars and meeting a few colourful characters along the way. This film has quite a set of cameos including Breckin Meyer, Betty Who and Giancarlo Esposito. This film has the John Hughes blend of broad humour and recognizable heart. This film gets its point across by showcasing the absurdity of how teen girls are treated. One notable example is Veronica’s boyfriend; a stage 5 clinger who lives under the “nice guy” mindset.

Both films celebrate teen girls helping each other out.

6)            THE VAST OF NIGHT

Switchboard operator (Sierra McCormick) and DJ Everett Sloan (Jake Horowitz) search for the source of a mysterious sound in The Vast of Night; a gripping and visual dazzling sci fi flick that captures the feel of the Twilight Zone.

Director Andrew Patterson and co-writer Craig W. Sanger wrote a tightly knit story the follows our heroes over the course of a night as they play detective in a 1950s New Mexico town. Never does a second feel wasted. Plus, it’s fun to see stereotypical 1950s nerds being the heroes in a story like this.

What truly makes this film stand out is its visual styles. From the Twilight Zone-esque opens plays on an old tv, cinematographer M.I. Littin-Menz has you under his spell. His camerawork is always gorgeous in both the way he is zooming into a 1950s high school basketball game and shining omniscient light from the night sky. There are also some unusual moments when the film will suddenly play on 1950s tv. This may either further the intrigue or take some viewers out of the movie.

The result is a unique experience for sci-fi fans.

5)            KAJILLIONNAIRE

Emotionally distant young woman Old Dolio (Evan Rachel Wood) and her small-time con artist parents (Debra Winger and Richard Jenkins) find their lives turned upside down when a perky stranger named Melanie (Gina Rodriguez) joins in their schemes.

Some audiences may be put off by July’s stylized approach to filmmaking, especially Wood’s unusual deep voice. But for those into lighthearted, quirky comedies will be enchanted by the little visual oddities of the family stooping (or in Old Dolio’s case, leaning back) to avoid their landlord or the pink suds always flowing down their apartment walls.

Kajillionnaire fits into July’s celebration of the timid and the outsiders. But July surprises us with a dark side to the outsider. The parents reject the unfulfilling, debt filled conventional life, but they aren’t particularly good at their cons and struggle to make ends meet. It has also made their daughter emotionally distant and with severe trust issues. It takes Melanie to give Old Dolio the human connection she never had.

I can’t say much beyond that because it takes many unexpected twists and turns. What I can say is this colourful dramedy offers an assurance of human connection.

4)             SMALL AXE

Ok, I may be cheating on this one since it’s five films (two of them just barely over an hour), but director Steve McQueen’s anthology complement each other perfectly with their unflinching examinations of systemic racism inflicted on lives of West Indie Brits during 1960s and the 1980s. The films are also connected by their celebration of people who celebrate life despite overwhelming odds stacked against them.

MANGROVE centers on the title Caribbean restaurant in Notting Hill. Owner Frank Crichlow (Shaun Parkes) just wants to serve customers and be left alone, but his business is a constant target of harassment by racist cops. It all comes to a head with a 1970 protest, which leads to Frank and 8 others falsely accused of inciting a riot.

The trial demonstrates how Police can brutalize protesters, then turn around and accuse the protesters of inciting violence. It also shows how the justice system is complicity by blindly taking the word of the police over civilians. Not helping is a prosecuting attorney who peddles in racist dog whistles, a defense attorney naïve about the justice system’s treatment of black people and an indifferent judge. But the defendants stand strong as they use the trial as a platform to expose racial profiling while poking holes in cop’s testimony.

The two standouts in the film are Parkes and Letitia Wright as British Black Panther Co-Founder Altheia Jones. Parkes brings a lot of sympathy as a desperate man who just wants to live his life but grows to become an activist due to circumstances outside of his control. In contrast, Wright is a powerhouse of righteous anger as she fights for dignity.

LOVERS ROCK takes us through a night at a house party, where two strangers (Amarah-Jae St. Aubyn and Micheal Ward) fall in love. There’s isn’t much plot in this one, its mostly just people dancing and playing music. But as the camera lingers on the DJ playing records and the guests dancing and enjoying each other’s company, this film enchants you with its celebration of music, dancing, and the joy of company. It feels like a much-needed break from the uncomfortable racism we see in the other movies.

RED, WHITE, AND BLUE Is probably the most heartbreaking. John Boyega portrays Leroy Logan, a young man who enrolls in the Metropolitan Police in hopes of reforming it from the inside. He underestimates the racism he’ll face during training or how the system enables the racism. What makes it worst is how his own community would turn against him, especially his father (Steve Toussaint).

Boyega gives a powerful performance as a determined and smart guy who fails to understand how in over his head he is. You feel his fury when Leroy berates his fellow officers for putting his life in danger by not answering his call for backup. Toussaint is just as powerful as a man who feels betrayed when his son joins the very people who have brutalized him for years.

ALEX WHEATIE tells the true-life story of a young man (Sheyi Cole) who would go on to become an award-winning writer after being jailed during the Brixton Uprising of 1981. We follow him from his childhood growing up in uncaring white institutional care homes to finding a sense of community in Brixton, where he develops a passion for music. Through his attempts to pursue a DJing career and his run ins with the law that he confronts his past and begins a journey to healing.

We conclude with Education, a coming-of-age story of Kingsley (Kenyah Sandy), a 12-year-old boy who was singled out as “disruptive” and sent to special classes for the “subnormal”. This film looks at an unofficial segregated system that dismissed black kids and discarded them in classes for people with mental disability. It’s clear Kingsley is a smart kid with interest in rockets and space, but he shows signs of dyslexia. But neither his headmaster nor are the special classes helpful, especially when the teacher cares more about play his guitar and teaching the kids anything useful. His parents are even less helpful when they dismiss his concerns (when they’re not working two jobs.) It leads to a sad moment when Kingsley hides inside a bus to avoid seeing his friends.

This film also shows the power of black women. You see it through Kingsley’s sister Stephanie (Tamara Lawrence) whose empathy makes her realize somethings up. You see through Lydia Thomas (Josette Simon) activism as she investigates these school conditions. You especially see it through Kingsley’s mom (Sharlene Whyte), not just from working to jobs to provide for her family but her ability to grow and learn. She goes through a journey as Lydia teaches her about the systemic racism in the education system, forcing her to realize how she’s dismissed her son’s concerns. Near the end, we see how children like Kingsley can be helped by those willing to understand his problem.

3)            FIRST COW

Timid forager Cookie (John Magaro) feels out of place among the hunters and fur traders in the Oregon Territory. Then along comes King-Lu (Orion Lee), a Chinese immigrant with big dreams. Together, they swipe milk from the only cow in the area to cook and sell pastries to the locals in the area. As their little business grows, so does the bond between these outsiders. But their success comes under threat when they attract the attention of a wealthy landowner (Toby Jones) who owns the cow.

A premise like this does not sound like the type of film that attracts major audience attention, especially with Co-writer/Director Kelly Reichart’s minimalist style. But when it comes to Reichart, less is more. Reichart takes her time to take in the muted colours and natural beauty of Christopher Blauvelt’s cinematography and allow the relationships to develop naturally. It’s helped by the low-key yet engaging performances. Lee showcased the enthusiastic determination of a born entrepreneur. But it’s Magaro who shines brightest with the most nuanced performance of the year, revealing Cookie’s humanity through the subtlest gestures.

Reichart’s subtle, patient storytelling isn’t for everyone, but through her gentlest touch she enchants the audience with a haunting tale of unlikely friendships and the achievements of outsiders.

2)            UNCUT GEMS

I know this is a film was released in 2019, but It didn’t come to our theatre until 2020 and It’s too damn good not to talk about.

This film is a cinematic panic attack. Never once do the Safdie brothers give you a moment to relax as fast-talking Jeweler Howard Ratner (Adam Sandler) dodges pissed off debt collectors while plotting for the biggest bet he can get. The result is an experience that keeps you on edge from opening credits to end credits. In lesser hands this would be an unpleasant experience, but the Safdie brothers uses this to create a compelling, intense portrayal of a man who gets off on standing on the edge of a cliff.

One reason it works is because beauty and ugliness make strange bedfellows in their movies. Nowhere is this more perfectly summed up than in the opening scenes where cinematographer Darius Khondji travels through an inside of a gem. The colours and lights make you feel like you’ve ascended to a magical world, but this scene happens in between scenes of African Miners being exploited and the inside of Howard’s colon. Just as beautiful is Daniel Lopatin’s new wave musical score. On its own, the music lulls you into a beautiful sense of peace. But this music often plays over uncomfortable scenes of characters screaming over each other. Somehow these two elevate the cinematic experience.

But the true strength of the film is Howard himself, which is astounding considering how unlikeable the character is. Throughout the film, he keeps digging himself into a deeper hole as he gambles even more recklessly, which makes it worst when he starts putting other’s people lives at risk. But he’s too complicated to hate. He shares a close bond with his kids and his coworkers. The film makes it clear he’s excellent at predicting Basketball games with near perfect accuracy, which gives you hope he will win. But then again, you don’t end up with over a hundred thousand dollars in debt without making terrible life decisions. He would be impossible to watch without Adam Sandler’s performance. He blends a smooth-talking charm and panic desperation to his character every time he tries to fast talk his way out of his circumstance. You can see why people like having him around.

When the credits roll, you’re relieved it’s over and were glad to experience the thrill.

1)            THE TRIAL OF THE CHICAGO SEVEN

The real-life trial of seven protesters and Black Panther co-founder Bobby Seale feels more like an SNL skit than a courtroom drama. From the Merry Prankster duo Abby Hoffman (Sacha Baron Cohen) and Jerry Rubin (Jeremy Strong)’s tweaking the nose at the buffoon judge Hoffman (Frank Langella) to the Judge bounding and gagging Seale, this trial was so contrived it can only come from real life. And writer/director Aaron Sorkin exposes the absurdity of this story in The Trial of the Chicago Seven.

It’s funny how a film about a trial from the late 60s can capture the mood of 2020. But with brutal images of Police attacking protesters and Judge Hoffman’s horrific treatment of Seale, this film feels like it came at the perfect time.[2] The trial itself showcases how the Justice system works to silence discourse and smears protestors. Sorkin further emphasizes how the system attacks anyone by showcasing the contrasting beliefs of the protestors from the radical anarchism of Hoffman and quiet dignity of Seale to the moderate ideals of student protestor Tom Hayden (Eddie Redmayne) and the unapologetic pacifism of suburban dad David Dellinger (John Carroll Lynch).

Sorkin does all this while keeping the film gripping and entertaining from start to finish. He brings his sharp wit to his dialogue whether it’s Hoffman’s political speeches or the Marx-brother’s esque exchanges between the Judge and the increasingly frustrated defense attorney William Kunstler. Matching his writing are the endless great performances from the actors including Joseph Gordon-Levitt as reluctant prosecuting attorney Richard Schultz and Strong bringing out his inner Tommy Chong. But it’s Cohen who steals the whole film bringing out the uncompromising radicalism of Hoffman, who seems to have a better understanding of the situation than most of the protestors.

The result is a film that perfectly captures the political feel of 2020.

[1] At one point, he was almost attacked by protesters.

[2] Which is ironic considering it took Sorkin over a decade to get the film made.

[zebraslovescupcakestoo]

Does anyone remembered last year when they redesign Toucan Sam for the next younger audience? I almost never watch TV cause my family was almost on it everyday. My dad especially and I don’t want to take that from him. Please excuse me if I am more than a year late to know this.

But I learned yesterday from a Youtuber that there was this backlash on this at the time and.... I’m not a fan of backlashing but this was REALLY poorly redrawn. I can link his video here. This one was probably inspired by that cartoon show of TAWOG. I get the reference, but this was NOT it, personally.

Thankfully, the newer redesign is much more easy on the eyes. Bit more teenage, plastic look of a McDonald’s toy and added blue and green ring on his beak. Reminds me of the whole Sonic Live Action movie from the first trailer and they had to re-do it while post pone the film date. At least THIS a lot better.

I did have my favorite BBTIM OC based on this mascot if you knew my early posts days. If he saw this he’d sue and beat the crap out of Kellogg’s @&& if Felix didn’t stay by his side, helps calm him down and think of a better solution. (while he’s trying to swallow his Froot Loops cereal from what he saw. He can’t blame Sam for this. This was too funny.)

On the mascot version canon, Sam Toucan is more showing how he’s kind to others, sharing his signature cereal to everyone even to strangers and rivals/enemies after defeat or shake hands for peace.

MY version of BBTIM OC Sam Toucan however, is not as sweet as this one on first impression.

I’ve evolved/changed his characteristic and personality overtime, but basically he’s mostly neutral to anyone depending who he’s interacting with. If you’re a good person, he’ll be nice/polite. If you’re a bad guy or a piece of s!t, he’s not gonna sugar coat it depending on the situation. For example:

First time meeting Alex:

A: Why hello, I am Alex “is better than Felix” Cat. *Extend to shake hands*

S: Hi, I’m Sam “You’ve pissed me off, f#k you too”-can. *Flipped the bird*

*He can smell BS after a certain accident to detect liars/dishonesty.

His Character design is based from Phoenix Wright from the AA franchises, Elvis inspired hair and wacky colors that no one would dare to come close to him.

As for his personality, I based him originally on George Carlin, Rick Sanchez and a bit of Brad Stine. I could say that he’s got some trust issues from his first love and during WW2. He thought that he’d know better to make a third attempt to let anyone close to him until a faithful encounter when he moved to the same city as Felix and Bendy. After a few chit chat and encounters, he realized that Felix was somewhat of his old version of his younger self of why he became an attorney in the first place: to protect the innocents and vulnerable.

Thus they are now more like the alternate Boris and Bendy duo. Their relationship on job professions are Boss/Employee since Sam pays Felix for helping his cases and Felix, in return, helps Sam handling with his clients or court trials.

Outside of work, they seem like at times, Tintin and Captain Haddock from the comic series, Rick and Morty Sanchez in good and bad times, depends, or simply father/son like bros. (IKD OK?! Almost but nothing like Boris and Bendy level.)

Anyways, thank you for reading this, this was out of the ordinary but I hope you enjoy my little rant. Hope that the Kellogg’s learned not to mess too much with redesigns in the future.

Characters OG Sam Toucan belongs to Kellogg’s.

@bendybeforeinkmachine​ AU, Humanized! Felix belongs to @marini4

BBTIM AU OC Humanized Sam Toucan is mine.

[soyouareandrewdobson]

Things Dobson mocks because he is too ignorant...

One “talent” Dobson seems to have, is the ability to alienate a lot of people through his opinions. And while he claims to be proud of that talent because he believes those he alienates are just assholes and racists who disagree with him CAUSE he attacks their abhorrent worldviews, the reality is much simpler; On average, people just don’t like him cause Dobson has no idea what he is talking about, which won’t however stop him from mocking the mere existence of certain things/interests and the people enjoying them. And those people tend not to be racists who want to see non-white people go extinct, but simply nerds and enthusiasts who like to enjoy their hobbies without the input of someone who won’t get over how he was bullied as a nerd back in school, but at the same time will bully you for being “nerdier”.

I could go into more detail how I mean that by analyzing a lot of his anime related SYAC strips as well as his soapbox strips on comic culture in a row. However, for the sake of “simplicity” I just like to go over one of his oldest strips, published around 2011. Back when Dobson was portraying himself still as a human. This strip alone will show how even a decade back, Dobson could just be an asshole to any “nerd” who dared to be into stuff he wasn’t, how he could manage to piss off many people all in one going AND be unfunny.

Now the first thing I want to put out is that I do not even think that Dobson’s primary intention with this strip was to mock others and their interests. See, one thing about So you are a cartoonist especially in its early days was, that it was in a way Dobson’s attempt to make himself look likeable in the eyes of others. He portrayed himself just as an Average Joe, wanting to make comics. This strip itself was even part of a series of strips I like to call “Things Dobson likes/dislikes”, which really were just him in each panel pointing at something he is into or not.

 And honestly, part of me does not mind it. It is just Dobson’s attempt to show others how “quirky” or contrarian he is. The problem really steams more from the following two facts: a) It is not really a cartoon or comic if you think about it, because there isn’t a joke, punchline or story attached to them, just Dobson showing off what kind of person he is and b) that his “things I do not understand” comic is really mean spirited compared to the others if you look just a bit deeper into it.

Right from the beginning the strip is just indicative that this will be more mean spirited than Dobson will later like to claim it was. Otherwise he would not feel the need to say “chillax” as a sort of semi defense mechanism, cause if he really intended to make his grievances heard through “good fun” he would not need to say that. So from the gate we can assume its snarkier and more hurtful than it needs to be. So lets get through the things he does not understand, shall we?

Sports: I will admit that I am not really into sports myself, neither as a fan or someone participating in it competitively. I go to the gym however in order to feel good about myself and do something for my health instead of going every Friday to McDonalds. In addition, as long as you do not go overboard with being a fan or participating in it, I understand how sport can unite people (see events like the Olympics and Soccer worldcups) , and while I am baffled upon the fact that the salary of many people in sports (particularly soccer and football) are ridiculous high in addition to money they make with advertisement deals etc. I have respect for them. Respect for how they can stick to a hard training schedule, can take injuries, will do stuff for charity etc. Furthermore, unlike Dobson, I do not believe people who are into sports are dumb. Yes, I know the stereotype about college footballers and sports who only graduated because of their sports activities and are otherwise “meatheads”, but that stereotype does not apply to everything in reality, Dobson. Ever heard of NFL lineman Duvernay-Tardif, who also has a degree as a surgeon? Granted, he made that title only in 2018, seven years after the comic was made, so look a bit further and see what we find… Oh, look: Myron Rolle, college football player and later members of the Tennessee Titans and Pittsburgh Steelers around 2010/12: Has a bachelor degree in exercise science and in 2008 studied for a Master of science for medical anthropology in the UK.

Ron Mix, famous AFL and NFL football player forever immortalized in the Hall of Fame has a Juris Doctor Degree and after his work as a sports became an attorney.

 And that are just three examples googled up in relation to American football. Other famous sports worldwide have degrees in medical and sports related sciences. Heck, one of Europe’s most famous boxer’s in the 2000s, Vitali Klitschko, not only has a doctors degree in sports, he is nowadays head of the governing party of Ukraine, following the independence of the country in 2014.

So stop wiggling your three sets of eyebrows and cease your smug grin and shove that periodic table up your ass, Dobson. I bet you yourself don’t even fucking know the chemical symbol for silver or titanium you Agonizing Twat who never got over the fact some popular kids in school bullied him.

 Final Fantasy: I doubt Dobson ever even tried to play Final Fantasy or ANY JRPG, honestly. Heck, not only does Cloud look pretty wrong (anime hair seems to be another thing Dobson can not draw) but frankly, the statement of Cloud being an emo is false and is based on misinterpretation. Bear with me for a bit; Final Fantasy 7 is in my opinion a good game and it had a major impact on the series and the perception of JRPGs in the west. However, I do also believe that many people overhyped its quality over the years. Including SquareEnix themselves, who particularly around 2005 released all sorts of tie in and sequel games, including also the movie “Advent Children”. Or as I like to call those things, Tetsuya Nomura’s wankfest, because now all of sudden everything is related to some guy called Genesis, we have even more characters to supposedly care about than we already got through the original game, happy end override happens almost on every corner and “goth” aesthetics are everywhere. And Cloud himself became an embodiment of that emo/loner stereotype in anime and manga around that time, despite never having been like that in the original game if you ask me. Yes, Cloud in the original game went through a lot of emotional trauma and he was not like some happy go lucky laid back shonen manga protagonist. But he also didn’t come off as a pretentious fucktard who never showed emotions and shut himself off from his friends and allies. He was more of a determined person who still cared for others and wanted to stop Sephirot so no one suffered like he did. His most “depressing” moment was when Sephirot revealed his false memories, making Cloud question his own existence as an independent being to the point he was broken enough to hand the Meteor sphere to Sephirot, but that was about it.  But hey, “emos” sell better, so SquareEnix tried to sell that aesthetics and others were just so dumb and further misinterpreted it as emoness being Cloud’s main character trait, when in reality freaking Squall Leonhard in his original game was worse than Cloud in comparison.

I also find the implication of Dobson, that Final Fantasy is pretentious in that panel funny as fuck. Cause Final Fantasy 13s’ pretty dumb story and wankery of clicheed anime tropes not withstanding, the average Final Fantasy game has a straightforward fantasy plot of good guys vs bad guys, with some twists and anime tropes thrown into the mix. The most pretentious guys in those games really are just the bad guys when they talk on average about how the world is suffering and misery, and even that is just straightforward nihilism to justify why they want to destroy everything. It is in fact so straightforward, most little kids will get it particularly in the first 6 games of the series, which are just set in more “classic” fantasy worlds to begin with. I am not saying the Final Fantasy franchise as a whole is flawless (I really am not a fan of 13 and its sequels, but if you like it, you do your thing) but you do not need a thesaurus to get why people enjoy it or individual games from it. So stop hating on an entire game series, which btw has actually some pretty awesome female characters in protagonistic roles in it too.

 Twilight: Both an example of Dobson’s hypocricy and idiocy. Idiocy cause frankly, what is hard to understand why people liked the books? Twilight (in my opinion) was just a professionally published self insert fanfiction, in which Bella/the reader fell in love with the local bad boy who just happened to also be a vampire. Sure, a vampire in name only (seriously, if you asked me, the Cullens could be replaced with a lot of other fantasy creatures and it would barely affect anything), but that is beside the point. Shameless romance stories about someone falling in love with the bad boy who deep down has a heart of gold and just needs someone to fix them, are nothing new. So I was not surprised that people, particularly teenaged girls and other women, enjoyed it. It was the romance literature equivalent to fast food which just happened to explode in popularity because Young adult novels were a simultaneous hit and something needed to fill the void after Harry Potter. I read the first book myself and I thought nothing in particularly wrong with it, aside of the fact I thought the book itself was plotwise kinda dull. But that was not why people bought it, they wanted Bella getting together with the bad boy. The fact Dobson did not understand on what the popularity was build up on, is just an example for how Dobson does not even in theory understand how stories work and what it is on a pure technical level that makes them interesting and sell worthy to others.

As for the hypocritical aspect, that comes up nowadays when Dobson claims he feels bad for mocking Twilight all those years ago and how people were bad for making fun of it and Stephenie Meyer. That those who did it were like women hating assholes and still are if they do not apologize. Cause frankly, I feel a majority of people “apologizing” are just dishonest with themselves now. Apologizing primarily because in the eyes of some other people they look up to, if they do not they will be pariahs. Especially when extend of their initial childish disdain for Twilight becomes clear. I e.g. do not hate Lindsay Ellis aka the former Nostalgia Chick, but the fact she made a big apology video on Meyer was laughable when you see how she “stood” to her opinion back in the day to the point she wrote a novel to mock the kind of story Twilight did. Sure, she admitted to a lot of her own faults back in the day so there was also some self reflection to it and I respect that. But I think in a way this was also a tactic to just appease some other people and it does not take away that initially she had those thoughts about Twilight. And frankly, Twilight is problematic in a way.

Again, I read the first book and I did not consider it the worst thing in the world, just kinda dull for my taste. However, having read on a lot of things that happen in the book series itself, it is clear that Bella and Edward are some pretty horrid and selfish characters who barely get called out or face consequences for terrible actions. Take also into account the pacing of the story and you get on average a book series that deserved a certain amount of criticism from a technical point of view and Meyer’s at least being questioned about some of her decisions in the writing process. It did however not deserve book burnings or people mocking and harassing fans and the author, the former being mocked by Dobson here funnily enough.

 Transformers: And what is it you find weird about people caring for cars? This is not even me being a cars fan here or something, I just ask because even that “explanation” is no explanation at all. He is just saying “I don’t care for X because I also do not care much for Y”. The correlation between the two is missing.

As for why people care about those two things Dobson, perhaps it is for the following:

Cars because people like the aesthetics, the technics, like to build stuff or get a rush by driving them. Transformers, because people just like action as well as the lore to the franchise and think giant robots turning into vehicles is cool, as long as Michael Bay is not involved in creating a story.

Furries: As with cars, likely aesthetics. Anthropomorphic animals have been part of our culture even long before cartoons (just look at fables, fairy tales and legends all across the world involving animals) so I assume there is even something more subconsciously involved with it. And frankly, I like furries myself. Some of them are way better artists than Dobson could ever be. That said, I do as an individual draw a line at furries that harass other people and show creators, hurt animals or are combining their interests with some really weird sex fetishes (two words: diaper fur). Which I guess do many other people cause there is a healthy amount of furries and non furries who have standards. The thing is just Dobson seems to think all furries are the same. Not to forget that for a long time he did everything denying he was interested in furries, citing his college as a reason for it cause people there installed a hatred for furries into him. A wonder then he would even enjoy Looney Tunes anymore. And honestly, himof all people mocking people for having a “sick” fetish? I am sorry Dobson, but compared to the kind of inflation you drew, I would say the average furry (as in someone who just draws two adult fursonas making out with each other under consent) is less “disturbing” than you. Someone who did not just inflate the female, at times underaged victims, but also made them pop/killed them.

DnD: I wish I had the comment Dobson posted on deviantart under the comic, as in it he digged himself even deeper with every panel and the explanations he gave. Just to show I am not pulling it out of my ass when I say for DnD one of the main reasons he hated it was that he thought nerds made the fantasy genre even nerdier by adding math to it.

Oh no. The fact people have to add numbers from a couple of dices together is too high of a math concept for Dobson. So those people must have absolutely no lives and are all just fat, bald and with acne.

Seriously though, fuck off. I am not into table top gaming, but whoever is, they shall just have fun. And stop body shaming nerds with the way you draw the DnD player here (and in that other infamous DnD comic he did), especially when you yourself look like a shaved egg in real life. Heck, did you know of all people Vin Diesel enjoys DnD?

Just let the people enjoy their adventure campaigns and come together once in a while instead of being shut offs like you, whose only experience with an interactive fantasy story involves playing Skyrim at 10 fps.

And yes, I am aware that Dobson has changed his opinions on DnD now thanks to some podcast. But based on his record, I feel that Dobson only did join it because it is now the cool thing to care on average about DnD as nerd. In addition he also did not own up to his past “mistake” till people just called him out on his bullshit often enough.

Klingons: Okay, I am not much of a Trekkie myself, but again, I get that people just like the aesthetics of them and the story crafted around Klingon culture within the franchise. So, just let them have fun with it. What is even the “joke” here? That people enjoy it despite it “just” being black Asian barbaric samurai in space, which is a very simplistic, in my opinion even outright racist description based on the choice of words here? Frankly, I am glad he did not just also add a racist Japanese accent to the guy here.

So there you have it: Things Dobson does not understand and essentially mocks for existing. And don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with Dobson not “getting” those things. Everyone has their own tastes, likes and dislikes as well as reasons why they are into it or not. I e.g. understand that people enjoy Bob’s Burger, but I myself really do not like the show much, because most characters come off as annoying to me in terms of personality and quirks. That said, I understand the visual appeal to it, if you like it that is fine and if you ass why I don’t like it I will give an explanation to it. What I will not do is make a comic mocking the existence of it, imply that my disinterest is correlated to me thinking there is also something inherently wrong with you if you enjoy it and build my disinterest on none existing issues with the thing in question.

Dobson however seems to have done that quite a couple of times and combined with his self righteous nature, it becomes kinda obvious why people began hating his stuff to the point that almost all of 4chan and tumblr developed a stern disdain for him.

[monsters-demons-and-ai-oh-my]

McDonald's! McDonald's!

I actual posted this a few days ago on AO3 but I’ve been lazy about posting it here, I thought I’d try writing something a little more comedic in tone than what I usually write (even though it has angst by nature of when the story is set).

AO3 Link

Post 13x01 - On the way back to the bunker the Winchesters stop for dinner at a McDonald’s with the day-old Jack. The nonsense you’d expect ensues.

Sam felt like a cosmic joke.

Not in the general constant way that came from his life being an actual, honest to goodness, vastly pre-planned since de-railed cosmic joke, but in the way that he could imagine Chuck standing on a stage in a c-list comic club pitching his current predicament in a nervous voice to a tough crowd.

"So, uh... two brothers and Lucifer's newborn son who just happens to look like a… I-don’t-even-know-what-ager, are on a road trip…"

Sam almost snorted and rubbed at his eyes tiredly, if he was laughing at that he was, well and truly sleep-deprived. It had been a very long very draining forty odd hours filled with loss and death and… and all the other shit their lives entailed, he wanted nothing more than to eat something and pass out.

Dean looked exactly the same as he had when they entered the car hours earlier, staring straight ahead, dead quiet, not even one of his old tapes crooning from the speakers.

And Jack…

Sam glanced behind him expecting to see the boy still sitting stiffly watching both men, but was surprised to see him face squished against the window, eyes closed and breathing deeply, out like a light.

So Nephilim slept...

It dawned on Sam they didn't know the first thing about the kid. Despite what age the boy appeared it was still terrifying to have someone's hours old child depend on you for safety and survival when you had no idea what their needs were.

Was he hungry too? Did Nephilim eat? Sam almost smacked himself. He and Dean could deal with skipping a meal or two to make good time on the road, but it was just wrong to make a kid go hungry.

"Dean?" his brother ignored him staring out at the dark road.

Sam, sighed, "It's been hours, do you… do you want to swap places?"

Dean almost never wanted to switch but it was enough to make Dean raise his eyebrows and get his attention.

"I'm fine," he said gruffly.

"You're not... ready for a break?" Sam said carefully.

Dean shot him a look, "we stopped for a piss break like an hour ago, your bladder isn't that small."

Sam huffed he guessed he'd have to spell it out, "look, Dean, we’ve been running ragged for two days straight, the only calories you’ve consumed was a friggin’ big gulp, and we have a kid in the back seat, we need food, we need sleep…”

Dean shot his brother a sharp look probably about to make another rude comment about said kid, but Sam shot the look right back.

He knew his brother was in a bad place, hell he was in a bad place, he felt like as soon as he let himself think about Cas or Mom or even freaking Crowley he’d fall apart but that didn’t mean he was okay with Dean taking everything out on him, or Jack.

Dean sighed.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

Sam couldn’t talk his brother into stopping for the night but he did at least manage to convince Dean to stop somewhere for food.

Judging by the enthusiastic nodding Jack gave when Sam asked if he was hungry, Nephilim, unlike the angelic side of their family tree, did in fact eat.

The only place nearby that was open at half-past ten was a twenty-four-hour McDonald's off the highway.

They decided to actually go inside the restaurant for once since it was nearly empty and no one working the late shift would ask questions about two strange men carting around what looked like a perpetually confused college freshman.

And anyway it didn’t matter how old Jack looked there was no way Dean was letting a twenty-hour-old kid eat in Baby.

Sam made sure Jack's coat was closed enough to hide the bloody hole in his before they headed inside. Dean told the kid to sit down and not do anything in one of the corner booths as they went to actually get the food, but Jack didn't seem to mind, he just keep looking around with a kind of cautious curiosity.

Like all fluorescent lighting and brightly colored window cling ads were the most fascinating things he’d ever laid eyes on.

It made Sam's mouth twitch upward despite everything.

"Do you think the Anti-Christ eats McNuggets?" Dean said bluntly.

Sam shot him a look, "kids like them so it's probably a fair bet, yeah…"

"You're not his nanny Sam, until we..." Dean lowered his voice to a whisper, "until we figure out how to deal with… it, I'm not going to play house or get attached, and you should probably do the same…'

Sam bit back a response that he wasn't planning to let Dean kill a kid who at this point had done nothing wrong, how he thought Jack could be the only way they’d get their mother back. He knew after everything that had happened that if Dean killed the newborn Nephilim it would push him over an edge he wouldn't come back from.

But now… wasn't the time.

Sam wasn’t ready to say it and Dean certainly wasn’t ready to hear it.

“That’s still no reason to... Dean?” Sam snorted as Dean ignored him and walked up to the counter to address the bored-looking teen behind the cash register.

“Sam?” a quiet voice made him jump a foot in the air.

“Jack…” Sam breathed heart racing, “you, you scared me.”

“Sorry,” the boy said sheepishly, fiddling with his hands.

“Did you need something?”

Jack’s eyebrows furrowed looking deep in concentration for a moment before looking up with a satisfied smile.

“No.”

Of course not…

“Hey hey… I thought I told you to stay at the table,” Dean pointed a handful of straws at Jack accusatorially.

“I got bored.”

“You got…?” Dean snorted, “Whatever, I don’t care, just go back and sit on your ass until we bring the food over.”

Now Sam was annoyed, “you ordered for me?”

“Yeah, don’t give me that look, you always get the same thing anyway.”

“Excuse me sir…” the bored teenager blinked wearily at them, “what dipping sauce did you want with the nuggets?”

Both brothers looked instinctively towards Jack who just looked confused, “Sauce?”

We’ve got, Barbeque, Sweet and Sour, Signature Sauce, Ranch…” the teen trailed off at the blank look on Jack’s face.

They sighed and clearly having stopped giving a fuck by this time of night reached below the counter and plunked two multicolored fistfuls of sauces onto their tray.

Jack’s eyes went wide, “Thank you, you’re very nice!”

“Go nuts kid," they sighed going back about their business yelling at someone behind the counter about a lack of fresh fries..

Jack beamed at the brothers, Dean rolled his eyes looking like he was about to say something but Sam interrupted grabbing two cups from the tray and pulling the boy away before Dean could say something snarky and crush his enthusiasm.

"Since Dean said he has the food," Sam handed the confused Nephilim a paper cup, "I've got a new job for you…"

Jack followed Sam like a duckling over to the drink machine holding his cup gingerly with both hands and just… staring.

Sam felt incredibly awkward doing a simple task with a rapt audience.

"You just…" Sam gestured for a moment then sighed going through the process of filling his cup with ice figuring it would be better to just show the boy.

He got lemonade as it seemed to be the only option that didn't have a thousand grams of sugar and dye and felt oddly accomplished as Jack watched him work the machine with awe.

He carefully finished capping the cup and putting in the straw, and then found himself almost pushed away in Jack’s eagerness to apply his new skill.

Jack painstakingly and carefully filled the cup with ice and then peered at all the spigots looking mildly overwhelmed.

"Just pick what looks good to you buddy," Sam found himself saying amused.

Jack nodded seriously, at this point in the less than a day of what made up his entire life on Earth it was probably very important to him.

He eventually settled on some strangely flavored Sprite with a bright green and orange label smiling triumphantly at Sam as he managed to start the machine.

It took all of four seconds for Jack’s triumph to turn to horror as the soda neared the top of the cup and then proceeded to fizz over.

Oh right… newborns know nothing about carbonation...

Before Sam had a chance to react Jack panicked and in his hurry to pull the cup away managed to slosh a good bit of it over his hands and part of his jacket cuffs.

"Whoa whoa, hold on," Sam reached out to steady the cup and Jack stepped back with his dripping sleeves held out in front of him.

"I… I'm sorry, did…"Jack looked forlornly up at him, "did I do that?"

"Did you…" Sam blinked perplexed, "Oh no no, no that wasn't… the machine is supposed to add bubbles to some stuff. I really should have warned you… um."

The boy stared at him, wet hands still stuck out awkwardly.

"There should be a bathroom you…" Sam sighed setting down both drinks and gently guiding him in that direction, "you'll need to wash your hands before they get all sticky, do you know how to…"

Jack blinked and said as if it was obvious, "mom taught me how to wash my hands."

Ah yes, the mysterious Nephilim fetus telepathy Jack had mentioned before.

"Right yes, go… do that, and I'll wait for you at the table, okay?"

Jack nodded and headed off to the bathroom arms still stuck out. And Sam dealt with the drinks and went to guard the table while thanking Kelly up in heaven.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

"Where the hell’s the kid?" Dean said when he arrived with their tray of sauces and food.

"Bathroom, there was uh… a mishap with the soda machine," Sam said sheepishly.

Dean put down the tray with a little more force than necessary and looked around wildly, like he was half ready to draw his gun..

"Seriously?" Sam deadpanned, "dude, would you just chill, he's not going to open up a hell gate in the men’s room."

"You were supposed to watch him," Dean said accusatorily.

"Half of creation wants him dead and we're literally the only living people he knows, where would he even go?'

"You're really buying this lost puppy routine Sam?"

"Ah yes, because we all have such devious plans when we're a day old," Sam muttered dryly.

Dean rolled his eyes, "You know that’s not the same. And this is exactly what I'm talking about Sam, he already has you under his thumb."

"He's a kid not a prisoner, and I'm not going to treat him like one when he hasn’t actually done anything."

"Because waiting until he kills someone is a great idea,”Dean muttered darkly unwrapping his Big Mac and taking a pointed bite.

Sam ignored him, snatching a few of Dean's fries petulantly.

"Really?" Dean huffed with his mouth full, "eat your own food…"

Sam blinked innocently, "I wanted fries, you got me salad, you should’ve asked."

Dean rolled his eyes and Sam snorted a laugh pulling his actual meal off the tray.

"How long has that kid been gone anyway?"

"Uh, ten minutes…?" Sam said sheepishly.

Dean paused, "to wash his hands?"

"It's fine," Sam said, coating his salad with dressing, definitely not concerned.

Dean looked about ready to leap up and make sure Jack hadn't teleported off to destroy Chicago, but thankfully about then the kid finally emerged.

"What took you so long?" Dean asked, annoyed when he reached the table.

"It… it was different than at the house," Jack said playing with his hands nervously, “there were two sinks…”

Dean and Sam both looked at each other in confusion, Sam shrugged, maybe it was a kid thing?

"It's fine, just come sit down," Sam brushed it off patting the seat beside him Jack took it, still eyeing Dean a little warily.

Dean grabbed his fries and did his best to move them out of Sam's reach then pushed the tray with the rest of the food towards Jack.

"Here, McNuggets, fries, eat," Dean said gruffly.

Sam handed Jack his drink he’d salvaged with a little less roughness, the boy thanked him and everything lapsed into awkward silence.

Sam cleared his throat, “so um… I was thinking, in the morning we need to stop at a thrift store or something.”

“Yeah, why?” Dean asked, preoccupied with his food.

“For Jack,” Sam explained, “he only has the one set of clothes, and his shirt already has a big bloody hole in it.”

“Just lend him some of your clothes if it bothers you so much,” Dean balked.

Sam snorted at the image “We’re not exactly the same size, he’d be swimming in them, and besides Jack doesn’t even own his own underwear.”

Dean rolled his eyes, “there’s no point in buying a bunch of crap he’s probably never going to get the chance to-” Dean paused distracted.

He reached over to grab the sauce Jack was struggling to open and tore off the top, “you pull the tab,” he said gruffly.

Jack gave a small unsure smile and went about more cautiously opening more of the sauce packets, “Is your house close by?” he asked hopefully.

“It’s not a house, it’s a bunker…” Dean said bluntly, his voice softened to normal after catching Sam’s glaring at him, “And no, it’ll take a few more days..”

Jack shoulders drooped for a moment before he sighed softly, shook himself and got back to contentedly opening and lining up one of every sauce in a big arc.

Maybe the long hours on the road were tiring him out to… Sam made a note to find something for the kid to do besides nap and sit in awkward silence over the next few days.

“Is it a very big place?” Jack asked after a minute.

“Just eat your McNuggets,” Dean sighed.

Jack looked sheepish but, seeming satisfied with his rainbow of sauces, finally opened his box of chicken nuggets and took one out eyeing it a little warily.

“They’re good I promise,” Sam prompted him gently.

Jack nodded seriously and finally took a cautious bite.

The kid’s eyes lit up and he looked up at Sam, a big smile quickly spreading across his face as he chewed..

Sam was unable to stop himself from smiling back.

"They're good!" Jack declared happily.

Sam chuckled and stabbed a fork into his own food ignoring the look he could feel Dean giving him. “Bite me Dean,” Sam thought. Good things in their life were too rare not to smile at a kid’s obvious joy.

Jack hummed happily to himself as he sampled his fries next but he again ran into a bit of snag when it came to his drink, he put his mouth over the end of his straw-like he saw Sam and Dean do, but then paused and looked perplexed. He pulling the straw out of his mouth and then tried again, still clearly not getting anything. He huffed and pressed his lips together in frustration.

Sam noticed and cleared his throat to get the boy’s attention telegraphed the process for Jack to follow, being sure to make a loud enough slurping noise that the boy realized what he had done wrong despite the disturbed look it earned him from Dean.

It was worth it to see the lightbulb go off in Jack’s head and the pleased mildly overwhelmed look on the boy’s face when he got his first taste of pop.

"Sam," Jack said a little sheepishly after a minute, dipping one of his nuggets in barbeque sauce, "can I ask you a question?"

“Shoot”

Jack’s eyebrows furrowed.

Sam kicked himself mentally, “I mean, yeah, sure, of course, ask away.”

Jack nodded, still looking a little confused, “Um, my mom she taught me a lot of things, but I keep finding new things that I don’t… get?”

It made sense, Kelly only had, what?, a few short months? Weeks? Who knew how short of a window between when a Nephilim gained awareness and when they were actually born to teach her son all she could. And while Sam sent a thankful prayer up to heaven for her positive influence (and for her teaching Jack things that would be incredibly awkward to have to teach to a kid that looked Jack’s physical age) he doubted things like why McDonald’s workers wore weird topless hats made the cut.

“Like what?” Sam prompted him gently.

"Like…" Jack looked a little unsure, "why there were two different sinks in the bathroom."

Sam opened and closed his mouth, the answer felt so obvious he had to be missing something, "what do you mean?"

"Well one was normal and had a handle though it didn’t stay turned on," he described, "but the other one,” Jack looked a little uncomfortable, “ It turned on whenever it looked at me…"

Dean nearly choked on his drink.

“When it… looked at you?” Sam asked carefully as Dean hacked up a lung.

Jack nodded looking mildly concerned towards Dean, “Um… yes, and the paper towels did the same thing and so did… what I think was soap?”

“What you think was soap?” Dean said incredulously, clearing his throat.

Jack nodded, “the sink with the handle had a regular bar of soap, but it was in a cage that I couldn’t see how to open to open it so I used the foam stuff the machine by the other sink spat at me.”

Dean’s mouth opened and closed then he buried his face in his hands.

“Um… Well I think the foam was probably soap…” Sam blinked deciding to ignore the i ndecipherable cage part, “and the sink, it… it wasn’t watching you… or spitting at you, the sink and stuff like that just have a little machine inside that makes them turn on whenever something blocks the light. It can’t actually see you.”

“Oh…” Jack looked equal parts relieved and disappointed, he shrugged again seemingly satisfied and went back to happily testing sauces.

“Soooo evil,” Sam muttered in Dean’s general direction making his brother roll his eyes and ignore him in favor of his burger.

Jack for his part seemed nonplussed continuing to experiment with his fries and nugget pulling various faces.

He paused after a moment looking genuinely confused, pushing a bright orange sauce in Sam's general direction and pointing carefully with one finger, “this one it makes my tongue feel…” he screwed up his brow, “stingy?”

Sam borrowed one of Jack’s fries to test it himself, “Buffalo sauce, it's spicy…” he explained gently.

“Spicy…” Jack tried the word in his mouth.

“Do you not like it?” Sam asked.

“I don’t…” Jack tilted his head slightly in thought making Sam’s chest feel heavy, reminding him for all the world of Cas.

“I don’t think I want to feel like anything else is attacking me today…” Jack said tapping a McNugget pensively against its box.

Sam smiled sadly, “I don’t blame you.”

"Do you like spicy things?" Jack asked him curiously.

"I guess, sometimes," Sam said offhandedly turning back to his own salad

Sam heard faint rustling and looked up to see Jack holding out the partially eaten sauce to him expectantly.

"Oh um… thank you," Sam took it sheepishly, not having the heart to tell the kid he had no use for it on his salad.

Jack smiled satisfied going back to his own food.

"Okay," Dean announced after a few more minutes balling up his trash, "we should probably get going…"

“We just..” Sam muttered through a mouth full of salad pausing halfway through to swallow, ( he didn’t want to be teaching Jack bad habits early ) “We just got here.”

“You’re almost done eating anyway, and he’s…”

Jack looked owlishly up from where he was casually dipping a single Mcnugget in every one of his sauces.

Dean blinked incredulously at Jack for a long moment, “anyway… we have a lot of ground to cover and we need to get moving. You remember what happened back at the police station, until we find some way to ward the kid or get back to the bunker sitting still is painting a big blinking target on our back.”

Sam sighed but knew his brother was right, “okay, fine but we can’t wait five more minutes...?”

Dean rubbed tiredly at his face, “Whatever, I’m going to the john before we leave, you can deal with... that.”

Dean got up from the table muttering something that looked suspiciously like, “two sinks?” under his breath.

Sam wished Dean would at least stop talking about Jack like an object to his face.

He turned towards the boy and did a double-take.

“Jack stop, don’t do that you’ll choke.”

Jack stopped trying to hurry by stuffing multiple McNuggets into his mouth at once looking like a sheepish chipmunk.

“I’m not going to take them away from you Jack,” Sam told him gently.

Jack chewed and swallowed before answering earnestly (making Sam feel like he’d made at least one positive foster parent decision and wasn’t completely failing Cas) “I know… but if Dean’s right, I don’t want anyone here to get hurt like at the police station…”

Sam wished he wasn’t so physically and emotionally exhausted so he could come up with a good way to convince the kid that what happened wasn’t his fault but for now he settled on just distracting Jack by asking him what was his favorite out of his sauce rainbow.

Jack’s eyes lit up and he launched into his explanation as he finished up his nuggets and shared his fries with Sam. Sweet and Sour, Honey Mustard, Barbeque, his favorites were all the sweetest sauces to no one’s shock. Still, with the literally and figuratively hellish 48 hours Sam had had, having Jack go on and on pleased with something simple was a nice distraction for the older man to.

Sam nodded along with a soft smile, Jack helping him clean up the table when they finished, continuing to chatter like he was determined to test every adjective he’d learned up to that point to describe his most recent culinary experience.

“And I don’t know what zesty means but that one tasted very confused,” Jack waved and gave the tired late-shift worker a cheerful, “goodbye,” as they made their way out to the Impala sitting on the back bumper to wait for Dean.

“Do you think there’s McDonald’s up in heaven where my mom is?” Jack asked Sam innocently still sipping his drink.

It hurt to hear the kid ask that, but Sam was thankful Jack had at least chosen the least painful recently deceased person to ask Sam about.

“I don’t know, heaven… it’s a place where people can relive their best memories, and I didn’t know your mother well enough to say,” Sam answered honestly.

Jack nodded solemnly but then gave Sam a cheerful smile, “I think if I was in heaven, there would definitely be a McDonald’s there, this place is wonderful.”

It was such a bizarrely bittersweet thing to say, but before Sam had a chance to respond the door to the McDonalds swung open with more force than necessary and Dean stepped out staring at Jack with a look of abject horror on his face.

“Please, please tell me you DID NOT wash your hands in the urinal!”

[enchantingkittengaditor]

Deep Water | 00.2 Caitlyn

August 10th, 2019

There were two months until Alice released her next album and even now times were hectic. There were people running around her Californian house trying to get ready. She was packing to go to New York. And there I stood in the middle of this whirlwind, not sure how I fitted into any of it. I’d given up summer in Oxford for one trailing behind my sisters, helping Bea at comic con and sneaking out onto the floor with her so we could geek out about all of our fictional heroes like everyone else, visiting her on set with Alice while her life was insane. Then, now rushing around packing my bags that I never even had time to unpack to go to New York for the release and then back California to enjoy the last of the summer before school started back.

Their lives were hectic and it was a break from the normal life I lived in Oxford.

What I didn’t know at the time is I too would be grabbed by the hand and pulled into the spotlight of Hollywood. I also didn’t know that my sisters had been planing that the whole summer. But now I do.

I had one day left in LA and me and Alice had a plan; we were going to Disney. Obviously, Alice couldn’t just waltz into Disney and not expect to draw a crowd but she could if she put on a disguise of her old clothes. Which to me was hilarious, seeing her as I remember her before the fame.

“You look like you just walked out of your year 10 photos,” I commented as she walked out of her room.

“And you look like your going to seduce Hercules, Ms. Megara,” she snarked back. It was good to spend time with her because I could tell she hadn’t changed at all.

“I wish Bea or the others could be here,” I stated looking at a photo of our whole family at Christmas.

“Well, they’re busy people. Anyway does that mean you don’t want to spend time with me?” She asked sarcastically.

“No anyway, Arya’s going to join us so I can spend time with her not you,” I snark back to her.

“Now girls play nice,” Arya says as we walk up to her car, ready to have some fun.

“Sansa, Lis,” I greet my cousins as I climb into the back with them.

“Hey, little kitten,” Sansa said to me.

September 2nd, 2019

The first day of school was always one of my favourites. The morning rush of breakfast on the go. The rush of three kids and their mother in the one bathroom that currently had running water. The ushering of my littlest sister onto her bus. Then doing the same for Dot. Before I got into mum’s car with her and we drove toward Oxford University and my posh school. I’d gotten a scholarship there after Alice and Bea had gotten their own. But instead of arts scholarships, I got an academic scholarship, which meant I had to keep up and be one of the top graduates each year or I’d lose it and have to go to normal school near my house. Luckily for me, yet another one of my sisters had gotten a scholarship to the same school this time for sport. Yet she insisted on going on public transport with her friends to their school and then to our school, which wasn’t that far away.

Though when my mum dropped me off at the gate I was greeted by the warm sign greeting of McKenna and the warm smiles of the rest of our group of friends. So I signed back to her as we walked toward our form classroom ready to start a new year.

When we arrived though we weren’t just greeted by the warm, welcoming face of Ms. McDonald, who we had met on Friday at a quick meet and greet of our teachers, we were instead welcomed by Mr. White, the schools self-proclaimed ‘best’(?) drama teacher. Who wanted to talk to me. The only reason I knew who he was was because he was Bea’s favourite teacher when she was at school here.

“Miss Watson, Caitlyn, Cat, I need you to come with me,” he stated.

“Never call me Cat or Caitlyn again and I’ll think about it,” I said pushing Kennzie’s hand down as she signed some things that even those who don’t know sign language know are bad.

“Caitlyn, he wants to talk to you about an opportunity for your future. Take it while it’s here,” Ms. McDonald told me, looking me right in the eye.

“Fine but if this has anything to do with what my sister’s do I will not do it. I don’t want fame and I never have. I want to change the world and be successful, not famous because fame is irrelevant and corrupting trust me I’ve seen it first hand,” I told him looking down at him.

“No can do, they requested you by name.”

“Well, then they can be disappointed. Mr. White, I’m sure you’d agree inflicting fame on someone my age wouldn’t be a good thing. You remember my sisters’ multiple mental breakdowns over their time here, probably better than I do.”

“Damn, your more like Sansa than Alice aren’t you?” He asked me.

“Yes. Yes, I am,” I responded.

October 22, 2019

The day had finally come when Alice would release her new album. And it was all anyone at school could talk about at school. Except for Kenzie. I always hung out with her on album release week. Even my other friends weren’t immune to album days and as she couldn’t hear the music she didn’t care any more than I did. While yes I was proud of my sisters, I couldn’t help but get annoyed with every premier or album release that happened because it would be all anyone who knew could ask me.

When I say ‘anyone who knew’ I mean Alice and Bea had stage names that everyone believed to be really, even they sometimes did. Alice had become Taylor Swift and Bea had become Florence Pugh. Both of them taking their middle names and turning them into names and then choosing an inside joke into a last name. For Alice, this joke was the fact she wouldn’t stop singing that song from Mulan where they say something about being as swift as the coursing river. For Bea, this was the fact she always used to yell ‘PEW! PEW! PEW!’ whenever our grandmother made us go to church, so she took up the name Pugh like the seats and the sound she made.

They were inside jokes that only the three of us and our mother knew, making it even more special whenever they got called their fake names in public because all of us would burst out laughing.

I thought I was out of the woods of teenage stupidness as me and Kenzie walked toward her mother’s bookstore and their house. That was until I saw Alice leaning against her car smiling at me. Well actually it was a bit after that when she dropped us off at the bookstore and a paparazzi got out of the car behind us and started asking Alice a lot of questions about the album, who we were and about her most recent relationship. And then Kenzie’s mother came out of the bookstore and scared him away.

“Thank You!” Kenzie signed to her mother as we walked into the store.

“It’s what mothers do! How was school?” her mother signed back at her.

“Good, we’re going to study upstairs!” Kenzie signed back just before her mother could ask any more questions. “Who is it? Do I know them? Tell me all your secrets, Caitlyn. What happened between you? How was filming? Is Brie nice?” she signed once we got into her room.

“Slow down Kenzie. I don’t know what you’re talking about. It was good and she’s lovely she wants to help you get hearing aids to help you,” I signed back at her. While most people thought Kenzie was either thick or completely deaf I knew the truth. She had a disease that slowly ate away at her ability to hear, she was born with 60% and 40% hearing and by now only had 5% hearing in both ears and it was still going down. But there is surgery, the only thing is it’s experimental and only happens in Atlanta, and her insurance doesn’t cover Atlanta and they can’t afford it. Not without selling the bookstore and her mother going back to corporate law, which she loathes.

“Caitlyn Watson. I know that look and you are not letting your sisters and her pay for my treatment, I know I’m never going to hear my mother, you or anyone ever again and I’ve made peace with that,” she signed at me after a while having accepted my answers to her earlier questions.

“I wasn’t going to. The doctor who invented it is coming to Oxford next semester to teach the surgery to my mother’s students. I thought she could do it and if Brie wants to buy you hearing aids till then why not let her. You’re going to need them anyway, why not get them now so you can get used to them before you can hear mostly by yourself. Or I can let Bea and Alice pay for it all,” I signed back at her knowing she wouldn’t agree unless I lightly threatened her.

“OK. But are you sure it will work?” She responded.

“They get back to either the level they were born with or 80% if they were born with 100% so yes but you’ll still need hearing aids,” I told her as she started crying at the thought of getting her hearing back.

“If I do this, you have to take me to Billie Elish and Taylor Swift,” She told me in response.

“Deal, Kenna. It’s a deal,” I respond going to shake her hand.

[thecomicsnexus]

Fifteen Years Later / Thoughts on Paper / Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle

TURTLE SOUP #4 FEBRUARY 1992 BY A. C. FARLEY, MICHAEL R. GAYDOS, JACK KIRBY, RICHMOND LEWIS, DAN BERGER, MARK THIBODEAUX AND GUY ROMANO

SYNOPSIS (MIXED WITH TURTLEPEDIA)

Fifteen Years Later

Down in the sewers, a young Con Ed worker is lost, searching for Grid 19 but having accidentally wandered into Grid 32. The young man is distraught; for fifteen years he’s been plagued with awful dreams and haunted by guilt. He had dropped his pet baby turtles down the sewer by accident many years ago, and ever since, he has had nightmares about them as huge, monstrous things. He even believes that he’s glimpsed them in the sewers on previous work days.

The young man suddenly recognizes that Grid 32 is the same sewer tunnel he lost his turtles in all those years ago. Then, by happenstance, he stumbles upon the fragments of the very same glass bowl he dropped down the open manhole.

Standing back up, he shines his flashlight forward and comes face to face with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Raphael sends a shuriken into his flashlight, knocking it to the ground, and lifts the young man up by his collar. Raph and the young man look each other in the eyes and a fleeting moment of recognition passes between them. Donatello then calls Raph off, telling him to “save it for the Foot”. The Turtles disappear into the darkness.

As the young man recovers from the shock, the voice of his boss yells his name (“Chet”) over his walky. His boss asks if he’s lost, but a smiling Chet replies, “…After 15 years, I’m finally in the right location!!”

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle

Michelangelo falls asleep while reading comics and in his dream, he fights a troll in high seas.

Thoughts on paper

Through an abstract collage of familiar imagery (Turtles, ninja weapons, Splinter, the sewers), one of the Turtles contemplates their relationships through stream of consciousness babble. He thinks about how they have been hiding and searching for themselves for 16 years. He thinks about how Splinter is not just their master, but “the one”. He thinks about how he and his brothers are “four” and “forever”. Yet also, sometimes they are not his brothers, but reflections of his own inadequacies and loneliness. He considers how all these numbers and variables are too confusing to keep track of.

Don is suddenly roused from his drawing board by one of his brothers (either Raph or Mikey). They’ve come back from McDonald’s and it’s about time for “Cops in Budapest”. Don snaps out of it and tells his brother that he’s been studying art lately and it kind of got him itching to experiment with what he’s learned. The Turtle takes one look at Don’s surrealist sketchbook and immediately thinks Don is on something. Don laughs and agrees that his attempts at art maybe aren’t so hot.

As they leave to go watch TV, Splinter takes a look at the sketchbook for himself. He is immediately fascinated by Don’s profound musings.

REVIEW

These stories from Turtle Soup #4 (I covered another one in the past) seem to be very emotional. One, because Jack Kirby, one of the many inspirations for Eastman and Laird, is finally doing a story for the Turtles. The other one is the reunion with Chet (the kid who used to own the Turtles). It’s kind of funny that the name Chet appeared all over the first issues of volume 1.

I think the Chet story is perhaps the highest point of the issue and something we usually don’t think about... but it is a great plot to go to.

The Kirby story doesn’t have much to it, it feels like an excuse to let Kirby go wild as usual. I think it’s fine. It is amazing to think that the king was still drawing until the day he died.

I give these stories a score of 9.

[tshepiso-reads-books]

My Favourite Books of 2019

I had a pretty good reading year in 2019. Formulating my favourites list this year was definitely harder than it was in the past couple of years. This list has changed and shifted drastically as they year went by (if you’d like to know my favourites in the first half of the year check out this post).

I agonized for weeks trying to rank my favourites and eventually had to give up entirely. I read so many different books this year across genre and form and it was absolutely impossible to rank and compare them. So this year I’ll be talking about my favourite books from four categories: fantasy, science fiction, comics and contemporary. This is going to be a long one, so gird your loins.

Fantasy

2019 was a fantastic year for adult high fantasy. I finally dipped my toes into this category after years of hesitancy and discovered stories filled with rich worlds, pulse-pounding plots and fantastic characters.

The Fifth Season · N.K. Jemisin

If I had to choose a singular favourite book of 2019 The Fifth Season would definitely be it. Every single aspect of this novel was done to perfection our characters were fully rendered, the plot was absolutely gripping, and the worldbuilding so fleshed out and unique. This book was so perfectly realized and is truly a feat of master craftsmanship.

Circe · Madeline Miller

Even after all these months, Circe is still a stand-out story. Miller’s prose was breathtaking and cutting and our main character, Circe, so all-encompassing and well explored. The lens through which Miller views greek mythology was fascinating and the way she explored characters we already had preconceived notions of was fucking brilliant.

Jade City · Fonda Lee

This book was the perfect blend of inciting action, gripping family drama. The multi-layered and ever-changing landscape of the plot of Jade City kept me flipping the pages of this book, but the strong interpersonal relationships between the family at the center of this book kept me connected to every single plot point.

The Diviners · Libba Bray

The Diviners is the only YA fantasy on this list and I think it truly speaks to the heights that this book reached. What stood out most to me about this book was how politically relevant it was. Bray’s focus on the bigotry and hatred in America in the 20’s time felt pointed and relevant today. With fantastic characters, atmospheric writing and engaging mystery to boot The Diviners was a truly great story to read.

Foundryside · Robert Jackson Bennett

Foundryside was a genuinely fun time from beginning to end. I was gripped by Bennett’s unique magic system which I can only describe as “coding… but magic”. The great character work and entertaining character dynamics added to my absolute enjoyment of this story.

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Sci-Fi

I got really into sci-fi for the first time this year and absolutely adored so many of the stories in this genre. I glad I dove into this genre more in 2019 because I discovered some fantastic stories.

The Wayfarer’s Trilogy · Becky Chambers

The Wayfarer’s trilogy was like a warm blanket to me this year. Every time I picked up a new book in this series its themes and messages filled me hope and joy. Chambers is really writing the sci-fi we need in 2019. I loved every book in this series, but I wanted to shout out A Closed and Common Orbit in particular because it was definitely my favourite.

Ninefox Gambit · Yoon Ha Lee

Ninefox Gambit was a late entry into my favourites, but damn did it hit with a bang. It was certainly one of the most challenging books I read this year, but the reward for sticking through it all was just priceless. Lee crafted such an intricate world and delving deeper into it as I kept reading was enthralling.

Sleeping Giants · Sylvain Neuvel

It took me a while to fall for Sleeping Giants, but once I did I fell head over heels. Neuvel weaved in an interesting story through the interview format he utilized. I’m awed by his ability to capture the scope of the world and create a heart-pounding plot and intriguing mysteries exclusively through interviews.

Time Was · Ian McDonald

Time Was was an excellent novella. It captured everything I adore about time travel stories and historical science fiction. In a few pages, Ian McDonald sold me completely on every aspect of this story. I loved the sweeping romantic atmosphere imbibed into the story.

The Calculating Stars · Mary Robinette-Kowal

Another historical science fiction made its way into my favourites list and it truly deserved to. The level of detail poured into The Calculating Stars is amazing; Mary Robinette-Kowal delved deep into the space program and her accuracy to the time is astounding. Her ability to make me care about the minutiae of daily life is a credit to her character work because the protagonist of this book, Elma, was so charming and real that I couldn’t help but be invested in her story.  

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Comics

I read comic books for the first time this year and absolutely loved most of what I read. I discovered some fantastic authors and artists telling amazing stories and hope to only increase my comic reading in the coming year.

Nimona · Noelle Stevenson

What more is there to say about Nimona. I raved about it so much both online and in my personal life. Noelle Stevenson is writing the kinds of stories that sink their way into my heart and stay there. I adored every single panel of every single page in this story and encourage every single person to pick it up as soon as humanly possible.

The Vision · Tom King & Gabriel Hernandez Walta

I don’t even know what to say about The Vision other than, wow. This dark, psychological, tragedy affected me so deeply. It’s one of the three books I actively cried while reading this year and to this day I can’t eloquently express why I adored it so much. King really makes you care about the family at the center of this story which makes the tragic outcome of the story and the inevitability of that tragedy all the more painful.

Hawkeye · Matt Fraction & David Aja

I love Clint Barton with my whole heart and Hawkeye is the reason why. Fraction and Aja demonstrated a true understanding of Barton as a character and through their three-year run, they crafted what I believe is the best story about him out there.

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Contemporary

This year was pretty light on contemporaries both in number and quality but I did discover amazing stories that spoke to me deeply.

Radio Silence · Alice Oseman

Radio Silence is a book that directly spoke to an exact moment in my life. I read this at the start of my final exam season of high school so the failure of the education system really resonated. Oseman managed to capture the rat race that is school. This book was deeply affecting and emotionally resonant which is probably why it’s one of the books that made me cry in 2019.  

Fangirl · Rainbow Rowell

I’m kind of cheating by putting a re-read on this list, but I found rereading fangirl this year to be so impactful and moving that it would feel a right shame to leave it out of any ‘Best of 2019’ list. Fangirl spoke to me so much harder in 2019 than it did when I first read it. Rowell perfectly captured the reasons we go to fandom for solace and community and the struggles Cath faces in this book are all the more relatable with time.

Autoboyography · Christina Lauren

YA contemporary captures the melodrama of teenagerdom in a way other subcategories of YA never really do. Autoboyography distils the essence of what it feels like to be a teenager so well. And not only does it do that it also contains a beautiful love story at its center.

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Honourable Mentions

I read so many fantastic books this year and this list would feel incomplete without some honourable mentions. All of these were so close to making it on to my final list but sadly didn’t make the cut.

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So, that was my extensive favourites list for 2019. I had such a good reading year in 2019 and I want to bring that energy into the new decade. I’d love to hear about all your favourite books of the year in the comments below so please feel free to share them.

Happy reading!

[miachanblog]

I’m not sure someone will read this and that’s fine, I just want to write it...

I’m so lost in my life, right now... I don’t know what I should do.

Going back to my childhood and teenage years, I grew up with really rigorous parents (mainly mother). I always were more into creative fields, but that’s not something that’s welcomed in my country. My mother was literally obsessed with my studies, and I had to study until 8/9PM everyday, cause she believed that was the only way I could get good results at school. My friends used to hang out without me. I was always stuck at home studying, to the point I had some strategies to pretend I was studying when in truth, I was reading books or playing games. My mother was so obsessive that she forbade me of buying books: so that I wouldn’t waste my time reading them. Only school books allowed. Have you known a mother who was unhappy that her children enjoyed reading? There you have it. Mine. My life was so controlled and so boring that at the weekends, I would wake up early and turn my TV with the volume really down, cause once my mother got up, my day was doomed. If she got up, I’d turn it offand stay in the bed while pretending to sleep, cause it was less boring than looking at a school book once again. This when I was younger. As I got older, I just pretended to sleep, no Tv on, nothing. I would even be wary of moving in my bd (as if asleep people don’t turn) afraid she’d think I was awaken. There was also a day when there was a teacher’s strike so my school closed down, and I was so sick of home and I knew that if I went home, it would just be one more day pretending to study, listening if any of my parents were walking around so that I had to hide my fiction book and go back to “study”, so I didn’t tell her the school had closed down. Instead, I went with some friends to a BIBLIO right next to the school to read the Witches comics that my mom didn’t allow me to buy. But she found about it from a neighbor and we had a really huge fight all the way home. Also, all my hobbies were individual sports (I hate sports), cause I had to stay slim, so no time for me to be creative. I was raised to be a genius in maths, science, law, medicine, something along that way, you see. But I NEVER wanted that. She was also obsessed with my weight and called me fat even when I was slim, so I also had pressure anytime I was eating or about too. So I grew up like that and suppressed my wishes since to every display of my actual dream, a very heated fight would start within my family. I though about getting a job to do as I wish, but she wouldn’t let me: My job was to study, and only study, or I would do bad at school. So I went to college without thinking much about it: everyone goes to college in my country, so they build you to believe you don’t have an option. They don’t ask if you want to go to college. The ask “what do you want to study in college?”... “When you go to college...”. These kind of words make you believe there is no choice. So I didn’t really know what I wanted because everyone shaped me into things I didn’t want to be. I chose Audiovisual and Multimedia cause it was a diverse course, and most subjects I didn’t even know what they were but sounded good to me... That’s how superficial the choice for my future was.

I finished college 4 years later, at 23 years old. I kinda enjoyed the course, so I stayed till the end, but then I realized I was really anxious to send a CV... In one year, I must have sent 5 CV’s, even if I opened the jobs’ offers pages quite often and scrolled all the way down... But I just couldn’t send them. I couldn’t see myself sitting on a desk 8 hours a day doing graphic design. I imagined myself unhappy, and also another problem was that I’m hypochondriac, so I’m really scared to go for jobs that make you sedentary...

I started doing digital illustration cause I realized it relieved my stress. I enjoyed developing a new skill too. I went through a surgery during that time, in which I couldn’t leave home afterwards, so I used all my time to draw and realized I haven’t been that happy in a really long time. It made me happy that I was improving in something, challenging myself, investing in me.

My real big passion always was to tell stories. Be it on series, songs, animation, movies, books, dance, even real people. Whatever it is: if it tells a story, I love it. And that’s what I realized... Is that my passion was telling stories and that I couldn’t handle to apply for jobs in graphic design cause you can’t tell a story in design, and since I’m very conformist, I knew that at the moment I entered a company, I would very much likely condemn to that life.

So I decided: I must invest on my dream. But I can’t just stay jobless. What can I do to support my dream? If I work all day looking at a computer screen, I don’t think I’ll have the energy to turn on my pc once again at home, cause my eyes will want to take a break, and remember that I fear being sedentary? Also, the company system kinda sucks your life in my country by working overtime (not paid, so yeah, that was a bad choice). I thought that I could get a dynamic part-time anywhere to gather some money and invest in illustration in my free-time. I did it. I work on McDonald’s right now and I actually don’t hate it. I gathered some money, and so I invested in something I really wanted to do as well, and my parents never let me: Singing lessons. I always wanted to learn how to sing but they never let me, so after having some money of mine I joined a music school, and I just had my 1st singing class and I loved it so much, I’m really looking forward to it.

But I couldn’t tell my parents that I basically committed career suicide. In their heads, I just couldn’t find a job about my course, so I desperately found a job in McDonald’s. I couldn’t tell them either that I signed up for singing lessons. They would tell me to stop playing round and become an adult, and they have a point on that, cause I should get a proper job, but how can I now? Seriously, all my life was a prison and I hadn’t realized it. Not only cause I was closed in my room all my childhood, scared that they would find me reading a book, but because I didn’t have experiences. And I couldn’t have them earlier, cause it was the time my mind needed to set free of their restrictions: that I could never be an artist, and anything related is a waste of time, and it’s ridiculous, and that my focus should be on reality. I finally put that aside by signing for singing lessons, like, I ALWAYS wanted to do that, and I finally did it, even if I’m too old. But my singing lessons are at 5:30PM, and any company job in Portugal is until 6PM. And you know what the worst is? Is that my father met a woman who works in a big company recruitment team, and he might have though that he would be saving me if he got me a job... Either that or he is ashamed that his daughter works at McDonald’s. Idk. But he got her contact, gave it to me, and demanded that I send her my CV. And you don’t imagine how anxious it makes me to go back to that file, to send it, to commit to a life that scares the hell out of me, that I never wished for, and that would stray me from following the path of my dreams that I just now started. It’s like, you just finally put down a brick wall that was blocking you and gives you a taste of freedom and then, it just builds again to stop you.

That woman is coming tomorrow to meet me, cause my father arranged it, and even if I couldn’t tell him I don’t want to, believe me, it was in my face. I’ve been crying everytime I think about this, and I’m scared I will cry tomorrow when she asks me what is my motivation and I get screwed cause I don’t have any. I’m scared to fail and bring shame to my father, and her, who actually went out of her way for me. I’m scared I get accepted and I have to give up my singing lessons after loving the first one. I’m scared cause I thought I was freed from their expectations. But I’m not.

[academiablogs]

Self-Published Books: Better Than the Drive-Thru

For many authors, the very phrase “self-published” means defeat. And to some it’s simply the “easy way out.” Conversely, many people would never buy a book that didn’t have the stamp of approval from Tor, or Harper Collins, or Penguin. And let’s be honest, some people only buy books from big name authors and no one else, publisher be damned. So what chance do indie authors stand, who often publish on their own and are relative nobodies? In general, people who laugh when you tell them you self publish have one (or all) of the following arguments:

* If you can’t get an agent or publisher to accept your work then you probably have no business being an author; you’re simply not good enough.

* Why buy a ‘generic’ book when there are thousands—millions—of bona fide works of art to choose from? Who needs “Best Value” Cheerios when normal Cheerios are cheap and readily in stock?

* Indie books are poorly written and edited, making it a chore to read them. The big publishers pay people to smooth out the kinks of their authors’ works—but indie authors either can’t afford to or simply don’t care.

* Indie books are derivative and unimaginative copies of the best sellers, much like a ‘direct to video’ movie (who seriously wants to watch Star Crash instead of Star Wars?)

These are all compelling arguments, and like many stereotypes they contain a kernel of truth. Are there many poorly written and edited indie books on the market? Of course. Are some of them derivative and generic versions of the best sellers? Sure. And do many indie writers turn to self-publishing when all the big name agents and publishers turn them down. You bet they do. Ah, so I’ve admitted the truth—it’s all true, you just said so!

Proving some things true doesn’t prove all things true. Just because McDonald’s gets your drive-thru order wrong twice in a row doesn’t mean they always get your order wrong in every city throughout the country. It ultimately comes down to the individual franchise or workers, but it can’t be indicative of the experience of an entire restaurant chain. Whatever you think about McDonald’s food (and I boycott it, personally) the reality is that many managers take pride in their businesses, and many workers are happy to do a good day’s work. Not every teenager working a minimum wage job hates life—and by extension, hates you. And even I, who hate McDonald’s, have occasionally been forced to eat there on a road trip and can get good service and decent food and think, “well, okay, so it’s not always bad—but I still don’t like it.”

You see where I’m going with this? Are all indie writers hacks, charlatans, and wannabes? Do they slap together books simply to turn a quick profit and then skip town? Even more so than McDonald’s owners, they’re people with dreams, many of whom work long hours at a ‘real’ job and then come home, bleary eyed and exhausted, and still log in a few hours with a work-in-progress, hoping that one day it will climb the charts and validate their secret passion. Because the reality is that not everyone can be a writer. There are just too many books already out there, and too few people who want to pay people for writing books (and sadly, too few people who want to buy them).

Conversely, there are probably millions of people who are genuinely talented writers, at least half of whom also exhibit traits of genius—people who could legitimately revolutionize the field. How many of their works, however, will ever reach print? Probably only about 1%, and that’s being generous. A sad truth of the modern world is that many talented people will die without a single person recognizing their gift. Some will get a measure of recognition, but not enough to quit their ‘day job,’ and many more will give up in despair and look back at their affair with art with revulsion—or guilt.

The ability to self-publish is, in some ways, one of the most compassionate bones ever tossed to society via technology. Now everyone can publish their works and see their works in print. True, the price of getting every talented writer a book is that millions of untalented writers and outright hacks get one, too. But is that worth the cost of admission? In general, I would say it is; after all, bad books come and go, but the good books stay, as long as enough people find them first. And now, even in a field drowning with books, it’s still possible to find a truly good book—even by an unknown author. Below are some very compelling reasons to buy an indie book and support a self-published author despite everything you’ve heard, everything you’ve said, and everything you know (or think you know) from first-hand experience:

* Most self-published writers are writing against the current, so to speak; no one asked them to write this book, they’re not being paid for it, and they often do so at great personal and professional expense (i.e. when they should be taking care of kids or doing their jobs—or sleeping!).

* They’re following a dream. Sure, professional authors are, too, but they’ve already achieved it in some measure. Indie writers are all like Cyrano de Bergerac (Rostand’s once-famous play), who claimed that the only fight worth fighting is the one that you know you can’t win. The fight that you’re doomed to die in. That’s the indie writer: howling into the winds having already seen the pitiful fate of their comrades.

* They can afford to take chances. An established author has to think about their agent, publisher, editor, audience, and so forth, and all of them have a say in what they write and when. The indie author can write whatever the hell they want. They can fly in the face of trends and even defy industry wisdom about what sells and who wants it.

* Usually the people who start new trends are doing it where no one is looking. Honestly, Steven King isn’t going to change the landscape of horror or science fiction at this point—he did what he did, and his moment is over (though he continues to write good books). However, even he came out of left field and changed the market. Today, that’s most likely going to come from someone who doesn’t have the ear of the industry. Someone who is writing in obscurity until an intrepid reader catches wind of it and says, “why isn’t everyone writing like this?”

* You can actually make a difference in these authors’ lives. If you write a fan letter to J.K. Rowling, you might get a generic reply from one of her many handlers. I’m sure she’s happy you like her books, but really, she has bigger fish to fry. But if you read the work of an indie writer, and you write them...then will respond to you. Likewise, it will make an immediate and tangible different in their lives. You could even become the catalyst that makes a great writer about to give up write their next bestseller.

* Indie writers are more likely to be fans of the genres they write in. All-too-often, genre fiction catches the attention of an ‘important’ writer who wants to revitalize their career, like Margaret Atwood trying her hand at writing a superhero comic. I’m pretty sure she could give a shit about superheroes in general, or even comics; indie writers, on the other hand, are much more likely to read comics and to know the universe they’re actively trying to shape. In other words, they’re probably more like you.

* One word—surprise. Simply put, you don’t know what you’re going to find with an indie book. The big publishers are very predictable in what they publish: namely, what has already sold. Indie writers might be trying the same thing, or they might try their hand at something completely different. You’re much more likely to be taken unawares by an indie than a mainstream writer, though admittedly big writers can surprise and indies can disappoint.

After all, reading isn’t a formula or an equation. It’s a gamble...and sometimes, it really pays off. So while there are many good, sound reasons to never buy a self-published book, there are some damn good reasons to defy current wisdom and do just that. And honestly, buying a book is never a bad thing to do or something you should regret. In fact, you’re more likely to get better service and a more wholesome product than if you go through the McDonald’s drive thru! It’s a hell of a lot cheaper, too...

[bigyack-com]

Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Narcos: Mexico, Homeland, and More: February 2020 TV Guide to Netflix, Amazon, and Hotstar

The start of the year — January — brought the first genuinely good series for Apple TV+ in Little America, an anthology about immigrants from the makers of The Big Sick and Master of None. It also brought about the end of BoJack Horseman, one of the best animated shows of our time. Meanwhile on domestic shores, both Netflix's Jamtara, about small-town teenagers pulling off phishing scams, and Amazon's The Forgotten Army, centred on the Subhash Chandra Bose-led Indian National Army from Kabir Khan, were a let-down, especially because they had a lot of potential to begin with. January also saw the return of Seinfeld co-creator Larry David's comedy Curb Your Enthusiasm after two years. And then there was the return of Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart) in Star Trek: Picard, nearly two decades on from his last appearance. Both have been well-received and will continue airing across February. Speaking of the new month and returnees, we have new seasons of Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Narcos: Mexico, and Last Week Tonight with John Oliver to look forward to. Elsewhere, Al Pacino will be hunting Nazis, Carrie Mathison has her last hurrah, and Anthony Mackie dons a new sleeve. Here's our February 2020 TV guide, which includes shows on Netflix, Amazon Prime Video, Hotstar, Apple TV+, and Comedy Central. Taj Mahal 1989 When: February TBA Where: Netflix Sheeba Chaddha (Badhaai Ho), Danish Hussain (Bard of Blood), Neeraj Kabi (Talvar), and Geetanjali Kulkarni (Gullak) star in this “nostalgic exploration of love and longing set against the backdrop of the eponymous monument in Agra.” Made by Viacom18's digital content arm Tipping Point, and created by Pushpendra Nath Misra (Ghoomketu). McMillions When: February 4 Where: Hotstar In the late eighties, McDonald's tied up with Monopoly for a contest in the US. In 2000, investigators uncovered a nationwide conspiracy and fraud amounting to $24 million, involving an ex-cop and security chief, who had been stealing the most valuable game pieces and giving them away to his friends and family. This true crime series documents how it happened for over a decade. Mark Wahlberg is an executive producer. Locke & Key When: February 7 Where: Netflix After a failed TV pilot and film trilogy plan, Joe Hill's eponymous comic book series is finally getting a series treatment. In it, three siblings and a single mother move to their ancestral Massachusetts home after the murder of their father. There, they discover magical keys that grant them access to a variety of powers and are subsequently hunted by a demon who also wants the keys. Lost showrunner Carlton Cuse is part of the creative team. Mythic Quest: Raven's Banquet When: February 7 Where: Apple TV+ From the creative team of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia — Rob McElhenney, Charlie Day, and Megan Ganz — comes a new comedy about a team of video game developers who are working on a very popular title. McElhenney also stars alongside Danny Pudi (Community), F. Murray Abraham (Homeland), Imani Hakim (Everybody Hates Chris), and David Hornsby (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia). Already renewed for season 2. High Maintenance When: February 8 Where: Hotstar In its fourth season on HBO — after six on Vimeo as a Web series — Ben Sinclair's weed delivery guy The Guy has a new canine companion in the sidecar of his new transport vehicle, a bike. Events will be spread out across a year and focus on “cycles of renewal, webs of human connections, and putting down roots” in New York. Nick Kroll, Rebecca Hall, Larry Owens, and Calvin Leon Smith join returning guest stars. Brooklyn Nine-Nine When: February 10 Where: Comedy Central The much-loved comedy enters its seventh season with a bit of shake-up at the 9-9 again, as Andre Braugher's Captain Holt is knocked down to a traffic beat cop owing to the events of the sixth season finale. Nicole Bilderback (Dawson's Creek) takes his place as the new chief. Both Lin-Manuel Miranda and Chelsea Peretti, who play Amy Santiago's brother and Gina Linetti, are expected to guest star. Begins with a one-hour special, airing February 6 in the US. Homeland When: February 10 Where: Hotstar How is this still a thing? Well, for what it's worth, Carrie Mathison (Claire Danes) will return for the final time in the eighth season of this spy thriller. As she recovers from her imprisonment in a Russian gulag, she will also need to help her mentor Saul Berenson (Mandy Patinkin), who as National Security Advisor to the US President, is sent to Afghanistan to work on peace with the Taliban. Narcos: Mexico When: February 13 Where: Netflix In the second season of this spin-off, Miguel Ángel Félix Gallardo (Diego Luna) struggles to maintain control over his growing empire, thanks to friction between the various “plazas” that are part of his Guadalajara cartel, the torrent of American retribution thanks to the death of DEA agent Kiki Camarena (Michael Peña) in the first season, and the actions of maverick DEA agent Walt Breslin (Scoot McNairy), who leads Operation Leyenda. Last Week Tonight with John Oliver When: February 17 Where: Hotstar The titular comedian returns with his titular weekly news satire show for the seventh year. HBO hasn't announced what topics will be tackled — the trailer below is a celebration of season 6 — though the 2020 American election season will no doubt prominently feature across the season, which traditionally ends in November, around the same time a new US President will be elected. Hunters When: February 21 Where: Amazon Prime Video In his first regular series role, Al Pacino plays one of many Nazi hunters living in 1977 New York, who have discovered a conspiracy that aims to install a “Fourth Reich” in the US. Created by newcomer David Weil and executive produced by Jordan Peele. Pacino stars alongside Logan Lerman (Percy Jackson films), Kate Mulvany (The Great Gatsby), Tiffany Boone (The Following), Carol Kane (Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt), Saul Rubinek (Wall Street), and Josh Radnor (How I Met Your Mother). I Am Not Okay with This When: February 26 Where: Netflix From the director of The End of the F*ing World, Jonathan Entwistle, and the producer of Stranger Things, Shawn Levy, this is a coming-of-age story of “a teenage girl who's navigating the trials and tribulations of high school, all while dealing with the complexities of her family, her budding sexuality, and — mysterious superpowers that are just beginning to awaken deep within her.” Based on the Charles Forsman graphic novel. Altered Carbon When: February 27 Where: Netflix Anthony Mackie replaces Joel Kinnaman as Takeshi Kovacs in the second season of the sci-fi cyberpunk series, which returns after a two-year gap. In it, Kovacs will return to his home planet of Harlan's World with the goal of locating his lost love Quellcrist Falconer (Renée Elise Goldsberry), who only appeared in visions and flashbacks in the first season. Simone Missick (Luke Cage), Dina Shihabi (Jack Ryan) also star. Based on Richard K. Morgan's novel trilogy. Review: In Netflix's Altered Carbon, Immortality Has Killed Humanity Beyond February We'll have a detailed round-up of upcoming TV shows each month, but we do know a fair bit about the future already. Amazing Stories: Season 1 / March 6, Apple TV+ Better Things: Season 4 / March 6, Hotstar Westworld: Season 3 / March 16, Hotstar The Plot Against America / March 17, Hotstar Ozark: Season 3 / March 27, Netflix Read the full article

[ciceroisthefamilycat]

CW Series in Development

SPIN-OFFS

The Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina: eyed as a companion series to Riverdale and a dark drama in the horror genre, the new project reimagines the origin and adventures of Sabrina the Teenage Witch as a dark coming-of-age story that traffics in horror, the occult and, of course, witchcraft. Tonally in the vein of Rosemary’s Baby and The Exorcist, this adaptation finds Sabrina wrestling to reconcile her dual nature — half-witch, half-mortal — while standing against the evil forces that threaten her, her family and the daylight world humans inhabit.

writer: Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa

director: Lee Toland Krieger

executive producers: Aguirre-Sacasa, Krieger, Greg Berlanti, Sarah Schechter, Jon Goldwater

producers: Warner Bros. TV, Berlanti Productions

Wayward Sisters: tells the story of Sheriff Jody Mills and a group of troubled young women — all orphaned by supernatural tragedy — these “wayward sisters” emerge as a formidable force against the supernatural, under Mills’s training and protection. Unlike the original series, which centers on a biological brothers, Wayward Sisters is about a sisterhood of girls in a foster family.

writers: Robert Berens and Andrew Dabb

executive producers: Berens, Dabb, Robert Singer, Phil Sgriccia

producer: Warner Bros. TV

There are also talks of a spin-off from “The Originals,” featuring Hope Mikaelson

 ROM-COMS (like Jane the Virgin, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend)

Make Divya Great Again: centers on an Indian-American woman, who under tremendous pressure from her traditional parents, bails on her arranged marriage and invents a perfect Indian boyfriend. She then sets in motion an absurd and poignant series of events that derail her life, all while she is trying to clear her name in the darkly comic accidental death of her ex-fiance.

writer: Devanshi Patel (Black-ish, Ground Floor)

executive producers: Patel, Eric and Kim Tannenbaum, Patti Carr, Alex Hertzberg

producers: CBS TV Studios, The Tannenbaum Co.

Near Beth Experience: centers on a cynical young stand-up comedian who survives a near death experience. The former non-believer starts hearing the prayers of people in close proximity to her — forcing her out of her egocentric comfort zone as she attempts to help others in eccentric, funny and begrudgingly heartfelt ways. As described by the creator, Near Beth Experience is not Touched by an Angel. It is more like Touched by a Cynic, or Inappropriately Touched by a Comedian with Issues.

writer: Rob Giles

executive producers: Giles, Mike Kelley and Melissa Loy’s Page Fright

producer: Warner Bros. TV

Bestseller: follows a risk-averse aspiring author who self-publishes an erotic novel under a pen name. When it becomes a surprise bestseller, it complicates her work life and personal relationships, and inspires her to act more boldly as she navigates her new double life.

writer: Abby McDonald

executive producers: McDonald, The Kennedy/Marshall Company (Frank Marshall and Robert Zotnowski), Exile Entertainment (Gary Ungar)

producer: CBS TV Studios

Illegal: a light one-hour about sixteen year old Rafael. He is a charming but bumbling high school student just trying to survive puberty. But when this all-American teenager discovers that he is not American at all, but undocumented, his perfect Honor Roll world is turned upside down.

writer: Rafael Agustin

executive producers: Agustin, Gina Rodriguez, Emily Gipson

producers: CBS TV Studios, I Can & I Will Productions

Untitled Spencer Paysinger Project: centers on a rising high school football player from South Central L.A. When he is recruited to play for Beverly Hills High, the wins, losses and struggles of two families from vastly different worlds — Compton and Beverly Hills — begin to collide.

writer: April Blair (Reign, The Shannara Chronicles)

consultant: Dane Morck

executive producers: Greg Berlanti, Sarah Schechter

producers: Robbie Rogers, Berlanti Productions, Warner Bros. TV

 GENRE

After On: centers on a young entrepreneur who unwittingly causes a top social network to become sentient.  Super-intelligent yet riddled with human flaws, it takes on the persona of a “mean girl”.  Our hero and his friends need to tame her before she – or her many enemies – annihilate humankind.

writer: Mark Goffman

executive producers: Goffman, Rob Reid

producer: CBS TV Studios

It’s The End Of The World As We Know It: is based on the 2012 Alloy book of the same name by Iva-Marie Palmer. In the show, when a prison spaceship carrying the universe’s most deadly aliens crashes in Southern California, two millennial women with bigger dreams than working at a kids’ pizza place in The Valley are recruited by a space cop to hunt down the escaped criminals, who have camouflaged themselves as eccentric Angelenos.

writers: Justin Halpern and Patrick Schumacker

executive producers: Halpern, Schumacker, Rob Thomas, Danielle Stokdyk, Dan Etheridge, Leslie Morgenstein, Gina Girolamo

producers: Warner Bros. TV, Ehsugadee Productions, Spondoolie Productions, Alloy Entertainment

School for Psychics: a drama based on K.C. Archer’s upcoming book series; when an aimless, jaded young woman learns she has powerful latent psychic abilities, she is recruited to join a secret government program for gifted individuals. She must quickly hone her newfound skills to help uncover an imminent threat to psychics that has an unexpected emotional connection to the mysterious murder of her parents two decades ago.

writer: Paul Sciarrotta

executive producers: Sciarrotta, Dan Jinks, Jason Egenberg

producer: CBS TV Studios

Dead Inside: after surviving an explosion that killed her hotshot detective big brother, an underachieving beat cop starts seeing his ghost, flipping their sibling dynamic on its head and allowing her to truly live her life for the first time, as they work together to help crime victims both living and dead, and figure out the unfinished business keeping his spirit on Earth.

writer: Katie Lovejoy

exectuive producers: Lovejoy, Bill Lawrence, Jeff Ingold

producers: Warner Bros. TV, Doozer Productions

Roswell: an hourlong reimagining of the 1999 series; based on the Roswell High book series by Melinda Metz; the new Roswell reflects the realities of its location in a state bordering Mexico. After reluctantly returning to her tourist-trap hometown of Roswell, NM, the daughter of undocumented immigrants discovers a shocking truth about her teenage crush who is now a police officer: He’s an alien who has kept his unearthly abilities hidden his entire life. She protects his secret as the two reconnect and begin to investigate his origins, but when a violent attack and long-standing government cover-up point to a greater alien presence on Earth, the politics of fear and hatred threaten to expose him and destroy their deepening romance.

writer: Carina Adly MacKenzie (The Originals)

executive producer: MacKenzie, Bender Brown Productions (Kevin Kelly Brown and Lawrence Bender), Amblin Television (Justin Falvey and Darryl Frank)

producer: Warner Bros. TV

Hold Fast: is an epic love story told in two timelines, about an injured Union soldier in the Reconstruction-era South who awakens reincarnated in present-day Charleston. With rapidly diminishing knowledge of his past life, our hero must navigate present-day relationships — including a fiancée he doesn’t remember — while uncovering what happened to his past love and searching for her.

writer: Dana Stevens (Reckless)

executive producers: Stevens, Greg Berlanti, Sarah Schecter

producers: Warner Bros. TV, Berlanti Productions

Black Rose Anthology: a one-hour horror anthology series written and directed entirely by women, which will explore some of humanity’s deepest fears from a woman’s unique perspective. Classic themes of terror will be tackled via vignettes about guilt, jealousy, repression, paranoia, insanity, sexual obsession and survival through a modern and distinctly feminine lens.

writer: Jill Blotevogel

executive producers: Blotevogel, Alpine Labs (Jamie Denenberg and Kevin Abrams), Flower Films (Drew Barrymore, Nancy Juvonen, Chris Miller, and Ember Truesdell), MasiMedia (Anthony Masi, Nick Phillips, and Lotti Pharriss Knowles)

producer: CBS TV Studios

[inadarkdarkroom]

I Told You So

In the late ‘80’s I moved to a small town called Mercer Island just outside of Seattle to live with my aunt and her three daughters. I had just gotten out of one of those “troubled kids” institutions that I still blithely refer to as a reform school, and needed to enough credits to graduate.

I was totally cool with it. My aunt is a lovely woman and I did not want to go back to England where my dysfunctional immediate family lived. Fuck Margaret Thatcher, you feel me? I’d gotten used to living in the states after spending my entire life as an ex-pat.

When I first moved in with my aunt she’d been living in Winthrop, Washington, a small town in a county the size of Rhode Island but with only one stop light. But my aunt was getting her degree at the University of Washington, and Mercer Island has one of the best high schools in the state and she wanted to make sure her kids had a better chance of getting into the colleges of their choice, so we moved there soon after I moved in with her.

Mercer Island was, and is to this day, a very insular, wealthy, and tony community. And the people who lived there(not all of them, but most), were very pleased with themselves that they lived in a little John Hughes movie-type neighborhood. Which meant that there was fuck all for the local kids to do.

There had been bowling alleys and video arcades and an all-ages venue, but the parents had complained that these places were not in the Mercer Island spirit of making sure their kids were staying at home and hitting the books and making them proud. So pressure was placed, letters were written, complaints were filed, and one by one all these places went out of business. Then the parents would loudly bitch and moan and wonder why all their kids were dying in drunk driving accidents on the floating bridge coming back from keg parties held in Seattle eight miles away. It’s amazing how adults’ cogent thoughts and logic reasoning tend to disappear once they can afford a BMW...

What this meant was that there were two places for teenagers to congregate on Mercer Island. One was the parking lot at McDonalds, and the other was the local Denny’s. Years later, after I’d moved to Seattle, the local Parental Fun Police decided to take on this particular den of iniquity as well, with the end result that Mercer Island wound up as being one of only two places in the US where the Denny’s wasn’t open 24 hours, closing at 11 on weekdays and midnight on weekends.

So I’m now a senior at a real American high school after spending my entire life overseas. Sure, it’s in the middle of a overprivileged white ghetto, but the school is top notch and I’m making friends. And my friends and I would go and hang out at the local Denny’s, drink endless amounts of cheap coffee and smoke Camels and bullshit.

So one night my friends and I go down to Denny’s and I wind up meeting George Russell, who is hanging out there as well, and we sit at his table with him.

George Russell is charming. George Russell is loquacious. George Russell is well read. George Russell makes eye contact when talking to you, his handshake is firm. George Russell is also one of the very few black people who live on the Island, and all my friends who are quite sheltered are glad to have their One Black Friend to prove they aren’t that quite sheltered.

I could care less about his ethnicity or my friends’ attempts to gain street cred. I’d just spent eighteen months in a reform school after being kicked out of a British military academy I hadn’t wanted to go to in the first place, I have nothing to prove.

And like I said, George Russell is quite a fellow. That night we talk about comic books, and the publishing houses of Dark Horse and Fantagraphics, literature, movies, politics, foreign policy. George Russell’s a smart chap, and quietly self-effacing. Purposefully harmless.

But George Russell is also in his thirties, and while I understand the allure of associating with an older individual, especially if that older individual can buy your underage ass beer, that older individual is still hanging out with your underage ass.

And George Russell also has a police scanner on the table in front of him. Every now and then he would cock his head to the side to hear what was coming over the airwaves, pausing the conversation to hit the squelch button and fine-tune the frequency. Later that night, two cops wandered into the joint for some comped coffee and they give George Russell The Nod. George Russell gives The Nod right back. I ask him about it. Quite pleased with himself, he informs me that he does “some side work” for the local PD. My friends assure me that George Russell is cool. Don’t worry, he’s not a narc. He just helps them around the office. Also, he gets all the chicks. George Russell is the man.

But this sets my spidey sense tingling. I’m only eighteen, but I’ve already been around the block a few times in quite a few different neighborhoods in several different countries. And I’ve just gotten out of a reform institution. I can judge body language and vocal inflection and eye movement, and there’s something about George Russell that doesn’t add up. Maybe it’s the fact that he’s so self-effacing and purposefully harmless. Maybe it’s the fact that he screams Cop Groupie. And trust me, people who are Cop Groupies should set your antenna twitching. But no matter. As a minor acquaintance, he’s a good conversationalist.

So George Russell would buy my friends beer, hook them up with whatever shitty brick weed they were desperate enough to smoke, sometimes hang out with us at parties. We would chat a little bit, the two of us. But in the back of my mind I thought him an unctuous creep with a bad case of the smarm so we didn’t associate.

After I graduated I would still spend time on the Island, and I would run into George Russell here and there. By this point I was using my Swiss passport as a “fake ID” and my gift of the gab to get it past the liquor store clerks’ limited understanding of French and German so George knew he couldn’t sidle up to me and be all like “Hey bro, you need a half rack of Rainier? I can totally get it for you.” So we’d just give each other The Nod, and that was it.

One night I was hanging out at the Bellevue bus station waiting for the #220 to arrive. I looked over to the side and saw this girl nearby. Poor thing. She was probably barely seventeen and covered in makeup and her slumped posture and guarded body language just screamed “Get me out of here. Please. Take me away from this godforsaken dump and knock me up with two brats to beat in the double-wide while you’re working triple shifts at the brewery to pay off your Camaro lease, I don’t care. Just get me out of here.” My heart went out to the poor girl. Even though I was barely out of my teens myself I remembered how awful they could be.

Just then a voice said “Hey Dude. What’s up?”

I look over and there’s George, all smiling and harmless. He bums a smoke from me and we take in the night. He notices my pitying look at the sad case off to the side and apropos of nothing busts out with “Yeah, I noticed her too. Wanted to go over and say something and cheer her up, you know? But you know how it is. A black man in a town like this talking to a white girl? I’ve got to watch myself..”

The bus arrives. We stub out our Camels and get on board, he in the front with a magazine, me in the back with my Walkman and my thoughts. And my thoughts were this: What the fuck?

First of all, while Bellevue was another well-to-do white neighborhood on the East side, it sure as shit wasn’t Alabama. And yes, by this point I’d been living in the States for a few years and had realized that outside some cities it was kind of a racist shithole populated with really spiteful ignorant cunts who didn’t know jack and hated anyone that did. But it didn’t mean that if you needed to pull that Ralph Ellison Invisible Man shit, that Bellevue was the place to do it.

Second, every single other brother I knew would not for a moment have said something like that, much less to a white boy like me. Public Enemy was king, Malcolm X was years away from hitting the movie theaters but Africa medallions were omnipresent, NWA was pissing off both the cops and Tipper Gore in equal measure, no way somebody with any kind of self respect would up and announce that statement. Unless it was something they thought it was what you wanted to hear.

I remember looking at George Russell in the front of the bus and thinking to myself that yes, he was an unctuous creep with a bad case of the smarm. But there was something else. Something I didn’t like. I scanned my thoughts for racist overtones, but honestly could not find any.

Look, I understand if you’re a diplomat or a spook(Note to readers: Spook as in the pejorative of a member of the Clandestine Services, not that other pejorative. Please take a short fall off your high horse) or a diplomat who’s a spook or you’re an undercover cop and you want to blend into the background and not attract attention. I get it. But if you’re a normal citizen, a citizen, and you’re going out of your way to be unseen? There’s something going on.

And there was something going on with George Russell. And it made me suspicious that he told me what he thought I wanted to hear. Moral of the story here, if you’ve got spidey sense, listen to it when it tingles. It’s there for a reason.

A few months later one of my friends had a party at his apartment. He was one of the few of us who had one and because it was on the quiet white East side instead of Heavily Armed Hobo Junkie Alley where my warehouse was in Pioneer Square, all my friends would go there instead.

George Russell was there, doing hot knife hits off the stove and flashing that famous smile of his. Making small talk and minor physical contact, little pats on the back or touching your forearm when talking to you, like a waiter angling for a bigger tip or Bill Clinton hitting you up for a campaign contribution.

I remembered that night at the bus station and kept my distance. Just gave him The Nod, got it back in return. So far, so good.

George Russell soon left to go on a date, leaving behind the better part of a case of Henry Weinhardt’s for my friends to toast his early absence with. That was the last time I ever saw him. I don’t think I even touched a drop of his beer bribe, I just concentrated on the Afghani Blonde I had smuggled back from overseas the year before, so cut with henna it was like smoking designer shampoo.

Once again I voiced my personal opinion of his character to my friends, but they were white kids barely out of high school and so stoked to have a homeboy to high-five with, that they assured me I was just paranoid and definitely not as def and down with it as they were. My manners dictate that I don’t mention that they live in a fucking Disneyfied suburb where the most dangerous thing they have to deal with is drunken frat boys at TGIFriday’s.

The next morning a man walking his dog spotted what looked like a body by a dumpster near a nightclub noted for it’s blond and brainless clientele. The local homicide arrive in their unmarkeds and discover a twenty three year old female vic, naked and strangled and raped and most unsettling of all, posed. Laid out on the sidewalk like Jeebus on the cross, legs folded over each other, arms akimbo and outstretched with a pine cone carefully placed in each open palm. She’d been kicked so hard her liver had split open against her spinal column.

This is one was not a crime of passion. This one had had time spent on her. This one had been used like an object to send a message. This is not good.

Even though it’s a singular instance in a small town with a small police force, to give them credit they wise up quick. They swallow their pride and send an assistance request to Behavioral Science at Quantico.

But the Feds have a backlog a mile long and two miles wide. Everyone knows Washington State has the highest number of serial murderers in the nation, but the hard-ons in wingtips have been burned before out here. They’re still smarting from the fact that the Green River Killer has evaded capture for decades, burned up countless man-hours with nothing to show but the occasional awkward press conference. We’ll look into it. We promise.

About a month later a man broke into a woman’s apartment that she shared with her two young children. He raped and beat and strangled her to death, then placed her corpse on the bed posed so that when her kids came into the room the next morning to find out why she hadn’t made them breakfast before taking them to kindergarten, that the first thing they saw was the shotgun he’d inserted into her vagina and left there.

The suspect was a secretor, and the semen samples matched those of the woman found in the parking lot the month previously. The press dubbed him The East side Killer, and noted the two victims were habitues of local nightclubs where popped-collared douche bags flashed cell phones the size of bricks to impress the type of women easily impressed by a fucking cell phone.

Less than two weeks later, The East side Killer struck again. This one also was caught napping. Beaten with a baseball bat so badly her brains splattered all over the bedstead, he had then taken a knife and stabbed her almost three hundred times from her head to the soles of her feet, left her corpse with a dildo in the mouth and a copy of The Joy Of Sex tucked under what was left of her right arm.

By this point the Boys From Virginia With No Sense Of Humor had come on the case post haste. They sent out John Douglas, whose character Scott Glenn in The Silence Of The Lambs was based on. Overworked and seriously underpaid, he wound up with brain fever caused by exhaustion and almost died in a cheap hotel room in Seattle. But he recovered and continued to work the case. Posited that all three murders were the work of one man. Definitely a Cop Groupie. Maybe an African American, skilled at blending in white society, maybe brought up in white society.

This was big news. Serial killers go on the hunt inside their own ethnic backgrounds, at least, that was the given up until this happened. Douglas discussed how white American mono-culture had become so entrenched in media that it had become easy to imitate for outsiders. He was proven right when forensics found the pubic hairs found on all three vics were African American.

Meanwhile, good old George Russell was still being good old George Russell. Cheerful and good-natured and pleasant. But chinks were appearing in the armor. Ex-girlfriends now found him hostile towards them, whereas before he had always been Mr. Smooth. Whereas before he had always been modest, now he was cocky and arrogant.

One of the reasons George Russell had been doing “some side work” for the PD on Mercer Island was because he had been arrested a lot as a kid for petty crimes, and the local police had taken him under their wing to try and straighten him out, give him errands to run and a vision of a possible future that didn’t involve a vision from behind bars.

But it hadn’t taken hold, and they knew it. When the word was being spread around cop shops from Bothell to Bellingham that the suspect was an African American perhaps brought up in white society, they just knew. After all, Mercer Island was pretty much white society.

When they arrested him they found personal belongings of all three victims on his person. And although DNA testing was still considered science fiction, and expensive science fiction at that, they put up the scratch to have it done and it came back positive. He smiled and joked with them as they put on the cuffs. This is all a big misunderstanding fellas. Don’t worry, we’ll all have a good laugh about this later at Denny’s. Ha ha, you guys....

Good old spidey sense. It saved me from being subpoenaed. Because we didn’t associate I never had to stand up on the witness stand and point him out to twelve tried and true. A neighbor of mine with whom he’d had a relationship later told me he once confided to her that I scared the shit out of him. He was probably lying. If he wasn’t then it was probably one of the nicest things anyone has ever said about me. Friends, acquaintances, they weren’t so lucky. Summons servers slapped paper on them and they had to go to King County courthouse and see the glossy technicolor close-ups placed on an easel for evidence, Kodachrome enlargements showing battered bags of meat that had once been mothers and daughters. Human beings turned into bloody mush out of rage and anger and hatred hidden behind a smile they’d all fallen for.

And there, in front of them in a snazzy sport coat and tie, seated grinning by his grimly aware public defender, was George Russell. Giving them little waves of encouragement. Hey fellas. Sheesh, can you believe this? What a world, eh?

In Washington State they still hang you, you can decide between the noose or the needle if you get the death penalty. Fucking barbaric either way, I suppose. George lucked out with three consecutive life sentences. No possibility of parole.

Walla Walla isn’t the worst place to do time, but prison is prison and inside your word is bond. Some chancer who fancies himself a smooth mover with a fancy line of patter isn’t going to get much credibility no matter how brutal the crime. Last I heard he’d been attacked while in the yard, had his throat sliced ear to ear with a piece of broken light bulb. Whatever genius for a day trying to make his rep wound up missing both carotids, so George survived. Probably still trying to weasel his way into the upper incareration echelon. Hey Dude, remember when you tried to kill me? Ha ha, good times, Bro. Good times..

My friends were astounded and creeped beyond belief. None of them had known any of the victims, but George Russell had been their buddy, man, their bro, and their bro had turned out to be a fucking great white shark in their very small pond. They were lucky they were minnows, they just didn’t realize it. I’m not a cynic, I’m a realist. Very few cynics get to say I told you so as often as I do, but in this case I kept my mouth shut and didn’t remind them of the times I had warned them about him.

At this point I’m working two jobs while taking night courses at the UW in filmmaking. Evenings I’m bouncing at the Moore Theater to feed my concert habit, but by day I’m back at Mercer Island working at a video store, pretty much getting paid to get a filmmaking education of another sort. And the housewives would come in and chatter about the local boy turned serial killer, getting a slight frisson as they discussed the case over little cups of overpriced frozen yogurt.

I’ll never forget a comment made by one of these people that sort of made me see it from George Russell’s perspective, which was really creepy in and of itself. These two women were talking, and one of them said: “Well, you know he was never reallyfrom Mercer Island. He just moved here as a child.”

I almost wanted to scream at them what fucking idiots they were. They were so soft and suburbanized and stuck up that one of their own had started hunting them for sport and taking their lives as trophies but hey, at least he wasn’t really from the neighborhood. Their property values weren’t compromised. Hooray for them.

If you don’t believe me google George Waterfield Russell(Because remember all serial killers have three names, natch), but be prepared to see blurry cop polaroids of a dead and naked woman with a shotgun inside her.

But the point of this story is, is that Bundy was arrested in Florida, Bianchi was tried in California, at the time this all went down Green River was still considered a bad place to turn tricks, this means that I used to hang out and get high with the first convicted serial killer in Washington State.

And he was a total creep.