#first one to use that hashtag let’s fucking go

[chelith]

pause from durarara for my oc content

[justhereforsubsevika]

Sevi in a thong (sevika nsfw a little bit, mainly fluff ig?)

Sub!Sevi, because of her stature, had often been pressured into being the dominant, masculine one in the relationship. At first, when she met you, she expected no different. She only ever wore boxers and boy-shorts around you. It made her feel safe, like she was guarding something.

But once you two got more serious, she quickly realised she was allowed to let go. She was allowed to be subby, and she felt like herself for the first time in ages.

But still, she wore her boxers.

See, she knew she was allowed to let go behind closed doors in the bedroom, but she didnt expect that you'd let her be more herself day-to-day. Suddenly, she was allowed to dance to girly songs. She was allowed to hum while she shamelessly mixed cake batter and whisked icing. She was allowed to use a baby voice with the cats.

You were taken aback when you came home one day, seeing Sevi playing a bit of dress-up in the bedroom. She was staring at herself in the mirror, your thong wrapped over her muscular thighs. "Oh! Uh-uhm, sorry i just.." she flushes and grabs her boxers, sheilding her body from your gaze: sheilding her femininity from you. You smile and shake your head.

"Baby, its fine. Let me see?" you request sweetly. She nods eagerly and chucks her boxers across the room, geekily holding her hands behind her back and shifting from hip to hip. "So?" she asks as you, quite perversely, stare at the fabric that barely covers her. Her happy trail disappears under the lace and its the most tantalising sight you've ever had the privilege of seeing. "Fuck baby." You sigh out, walking to her and taking her in a one-armed hug.

"Beautiful.. Beautiful girl.." you groan, tracing your finger down the deep crease in her abs and stopping where her hair meets the top of the lace. "I wanna get a purple one, dark purple." she says, and you can hear her smile.

HASHTAG NEED THAT

[faeflowerz]

Savanaclaw Imprinting on You

I have nothing cheeky to say. Let's do this.

Warnings: My gross misunderstanding of animals, Bullying Leona for being a big chonk

Characters: Ruggie, Jack, Leona

Ruggie imprinting on you is an "oh shit" moment for him. He lives his life so casually and when he sees you, like really sees you for the first time, he's acting unwise. Ruggie will do things for you that he wouldn't for anyone else. He doesn't ask for you to return the favor. He even shares his food.

Now this last one is particularly special for him given that he values food more than his peers. Food is how he communicates and finds pleasure. I won't get too far into the feederism side, but I think there'd be a lot of "You should eat. Have you had breakfast?"

But it's not all picnics and dandelions. Hyenas are pretty scary if you piss em off. So if one of your guy friends touches you the wrong way or tries to tease him about his sudden obsession with you, he will go on the offense. Lots of growling and hes ready to turn them into a hashtag. You gotta drag him away every single time.

"Dude, you can't just go around picking fights with everyone! What's your damage, Ruggie?"

"I wouldn’t be so mad if those assholes kept their hands off of you!"

"That's what this is about? They mess around all the time, it's not a big deal."

"It is to me! I don't like it!"

"Okay, but why though? Why would you give a fuck?" You shake your head, frustrated by the look he was giving you.

"Because I'm jealous!" He barks. "I don't want anyone else touching you but me!" Everything is quiet as you try to process what he just said.

"Ruggie...what-"

"I like...being around you all the time. And all I can think about is you. And...ugh...this is so stupid." His cheeks are cute and pink as he mumbles his way though his confession. And you, you're smiling. Seeing him get so real with you is so sweet and touching. As he's trying to justify his behavior, you place a sweet kiss on his nose. Then he's all shishishi cause he got kissed.

When Jack imprints on you, he's pretty tsundere about it. Suddenly he's hanging around you and by extension the other first years. Its not like he loves you and how you smell and the way you laugh at your dumbass friends. He just...needs to be within five feet of you at all times. Oh, and that tail? It's wagging every single time you acknowledge him or give him attention. The most antisocial boy is suddenly craving your affection.

And of course Ace is gonna clown him for it. Though it feels a little bit different. "Is there somethin you're not telling us? No fair that you two have A Thing going on the down low."

"What are you even talking about?" Jack crosses his arms, clearly trying to keep cool.

"Come on, dude. You lit up when Prefect sat next to you," Ace pouts at the both of you before calling you out too. "Are you together?!"

"Wh-what?! What would make you think that?!"

And all of your friends have examples. Waay too many. And then, Ortho says, "You know, imprinting can happen to beast men too. There's a chance that-"

"What happens between me and Prefect is our business. I didn’t ask any of you to help me confess either."

Major self report. His tail is going a trillion per hour and he realizes what he just said. "Damn it."

"Ha! I knew it!" Ace chortles.

"Wow...that was pretty bold, Jack," Epel hides his grin behind his hand. As for you...

Well, you're smiling like an idiot. It's not like you haven't been purposefully saying and doing things to see his tail wag, make his ears flicker and see him smile a little. You can't pretend to be shocked as you look at Jack for a response. "Well, I guess I should have been honest from the start..."

So there you are, resigned to be a pillow for the biggest cat you've had the misfortune of knowing. Leona loves your thighs and like hell he's going to pass up on your free period to get some sleep. You've accepted your fate, but your legs are just as comatose as he is. As you try to shift around, this catman actually whines in protest. Inside, he's praying you didn't hear it. "Stop moving," he manages to say.

So, Leona's imprinted on you. Now what? Well, you're gonna know quite quickly. Like, it's kind of not a secret since Leona is so shameless with everything he does. Though, he won't actually say "I've imprinted on you." His actions are all the confirmation you need. Actually, he's the most overbearing because he will just drag you away from whatever you're doing just to take a nap with him. Are you in the greenhouse for a class? Well, too fucking bad. Leona wants you to give him attention. You know. Like a cat.

"M'leg's asleep," you complain. "Plus you're heavy."

"Neither of these are my problem."

"You're literally responsible for both."

"You callin me fat?"

"...maybe I am," Leona opens one eye to glare up at you. He wants to be mad. But seeing you so pleased by his reaction makes him melt a little. "What? All you do is eat and sleep what else am I supposed to think?" To your surprise, he sits up. You're about to ask but he flops on top of you, sending you both into the soft patch of grass. Leona's spooning you and your face is buried in his fat (and kind of fuzzy) tits. "Seriously?!"

"Look, you're just going to have to deal with the fact that you're one of the few people I can tolerate."

He's a real piece of work, isn't he? Still, his body is kind of warm and cuddly, huh? He would probably get mad if you said that out loud though.

[koiiiji]

I love your writing! I will continue to support you😭🫶🏻🫶🏻Can you write hyeok kwon x reader nsfw?

nsfw alphabet

author's note ; THANK UUUU💌!! i haven’t really following wb hashtag lately, so im sorry if someone already did nsfw alphabet with Kwon Hyuk

author's note 2 ; MDNI, AGELESS BLOG DNI OR I WILL BLOCK YOU!!

a = aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Hyuk is sleeeeeeeeepy. after sex you need to push him to the shower, so he won't fall asleep all naked and sweaty (but let's be honest, sometimes it happens too...). but usually after shower he likes to get in comfortable, close position and snuggle into your body and blankets to slowly fall asleep with small sex talk (i think he likes to hear your prises after sex, like did he do a good job? (ofc he did)).

b = body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

i think he appreciates his arms and hands! he knows that he has some strength and likes when you can grip on to his biceps in the heat of the moment. i mean he knows how to work his hands.

as for you, he truthfully loves every part of you. if you ever asked him 'what part of me is your favorite?' he would actually say boobs. he likes resting on them.

c = cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

i don't think Hyuk is particularly keen on making a mess, especially of the bed. i truthfully think he'd surprisingly enjoy cumming on your face, mainly around your lips. messy oral? he's done for.

d = dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

i honestly have no idea what to put here, because Hyuk is quite lazy and not really kinky... but maybe he would like to try some role games?... sex in cosplay costumes maybe?... like to see you in cute bunny or kitty costume with ears and tail? maybe?

e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

he is pretty experienced. he watched a lot of porn — different kinds, from home to most trivial ph shit. don't forget that Hyuk and Wooin are friends since high school and this fact alone allows to think that these gremlins been through some experience. so don't worry, he knows how to use his fingers and dick!

f = favorite position (this goes without saying)

so, i think something simple like missionary where he can stare into your eyes, kiss you, tell you sweet things, etc. his ultimate choice is on the side, when he can hold your leg and slowly fuck you from behind. cowgirl can work too if he is extremely lazy today.

g = goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

can't help but be clumsy sometimes. he can't help but giggle when hair gets caught in your mouth or some other silly thing. however, he likes to keep things intimate and prefers to have a serious moment with you in bed

h = hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

clean shaved or well trimmed. i think he finds it more aesthetically attractive and just likes to keep his higiene be that way.

i = intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

calm, can joke sometimes if it's appropriate of course. but mostly he is completely immersed into the process — kissing, cuddling, holding your body, tease, whisper sweet nothings into your ear

j = jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Hyuk is super chill about...everything. if he needs it right now he will do it. he doesn't see anything wrong with it honestly

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

okay so...i think vanilla. when you're getting to know him and for the first few times you have sex, he keeps it simple. but with time he can go more and more sweet and even romantic. however, i think Hyuk have his kinkier side!! i think he really enjoys mocking you. like 'so wet for me already? greedy girl' and other dirty talk.

l = location (favorite places to do the do)

your bedroom! he is super lazy and if he had opportunity he would stay in bed all day (and this is canon i think, still it been stated in wb that he is lazy and likes his bed too much)

m = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

seeing you all domestic, in his oversized clothes, just woke up standing in the kitchen, hair is messed and eyes are still sleepy. he really likes slow morning sex on the kitchen!!

n = no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

bringing other people to your bedroom. and really weird stuff like peeing or something like that

o = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

mmm 50/50 with giving. i don't think he have a great skills. like he surely can go down on you, but Hyuk is not super skilled and his tongue and jaw get tired quite fast. but he is not pushing you to give oral to him either.

p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

depends on his mood. he can get really fast when he's feeling extra needy or kinky. however, when usually Hyuk will take his sweet time teasing you and go nice and slow with his thrusts, movements, touches. but there are time where he could also use slowness to his advantage and tease you.

q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

nope. i think he consider it as unnecessary splash of energy, he would rather wait until you two have a mood for proper sex. and he likes resting in bed and generally are lazy so it's no.

r = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

uuuh, he definitely wanted to try few places like changing rooms, or maybe friend's place, but just out of curiosity, he probably won't like it, so his preference is bedroom (read 'because he fall asleep almost immediately')

s = stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

i don't think he has very high stamina. it's not that he gets really sleepy after, but he can't go for multiple rounds. i think Hyuk doesn't really understand the point of few rounds if you two already had great time. like he can go two rounds if you insist or it's been a long time since he's seen you. he can last a while though, i think. but dont expect him to be sex machine, he is super lazy.

t = toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

most of the time he is indifferent about such things. if that means it will bring you extra pleasure, he don't mind.

u = unfair (how much they like to tease)

ohh he likes to tease!! both with words and actions! he likes to tease you through your panties with his slander fingers, he likes to tease your clenching pussy after he spent some time with his fingers ther. he likes to give you playful bites, slapping, literally everything!! he loves teasing so so much

v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

keeps quiet, mostly. some interjections of grunts and groans, especially when he cums. he uses his voice more for humiliating-sweet talk, when he teases you! he loves hearing your noises, though, and it gives him more encouragement than anything.

w = wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

once you woke him by going down on him. he really liked it and secretly want to wake up like this more often, but he is kinda shy to ask this since he doesn't really enjoy doing same to you (as i said, only because he isn't that skilled and get tired fast)

x = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

i would say average. he is quite slim, vienny, but okay, maybe a little longer than average.

y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

i think he has a fluctuating sex drive. during flu and cold season — autumn and winter — he is so clingy, desperate for your body heat, and won't let you escape warm bed, snuggling into your boobs. however, during the summer... just dont touch him. hot weather affects him so much that you hardly receive a hug from him.

z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

immediately. just few minutes after shower, when you two just cuddling, murmuring soft nothings and you found him not answering you, so you rise your head just to see he already softly snoring in his sleep.

[tinycozycomfort]

i found the door

pairing: jackson era!joel miller x f!reader

day seven of @pascalisbaby and i's joeltober: edging -> read her day seven here

summary: Joel is a beacon, the warmth sloughing off his chest keeping you in that hazy place between tired and restless—the brightest slice of your vision.

warnings/tags: edging, daddy kink, c*ckwarming, touch of somno, unprotected piv, age gap (joel is 50s, reader is not), dom/sub dynamics, the tone of this is: they're in love, bulge kink, name calling (slut) + pet names (sweetheart, honey, etc)

word count: 1.8k

rating: explicit! 18+ only, mdni

a/n: i am so hashtag nervous about this one but very big thank you to @pascalisbaby for encouraging me and listening to me complain every day 🖤

main masterlist

“What is she, sweetheart? What do we call her when she’s drooling like that?” 

Joel noses at your chin, puffy stripe of scarring across the bridge dragging colder than the rest, lifting a field of goosebumps in its wake.

You can barely mumble at first, the swipe of his thumbs along your ribcage doing little to ground you, focus washed out with the low light that pools in from the window. His hands are firm—even in their spread—pinkies dipping into the crease of your side as he keeps you seated atop him, sweat-damp sheets taut where they weave between the folds of your knees. 

You’re pliable over him, hiked up and lopsided where he’s fixed you high in his lap, the shape of his cock outlined inside you to the hilt. 

Nights like this—right before the onslaught of Wyoming winter—he likes to just let the time pass, to make use of his body while it’s still skin-warm, no cold to slow his joints or frost to stiffen his muscle. He wants to prove himself capable, spry, even in his climbing age, to make sure you both know how in control he still is of this vessel, of your pleasure. 

He does it in the slowest way—the only way he sees appropriate—unwrapping you in pieces, biting away at the minutes like they’re endless, peeling away at the doubts he only thinks you have for him. 

Joel is a beacon, the warmth sloughing off his chest keeping you in that hazy place between tired and restless—the brightest slice of your vision. The valleys of his hollowed cheeks are deep, his restraint bound there in the tense sinew between his molars.

Only when he feels you deflate does he rock up gently, nudging at the apex of your womb, never touching—just the suggestion of what he’s able to find within you. He lets you whine and plead until you’re at the steep slope of your orgasm before stopping altogether, letting it wane, over and over, the pause to recoup shortening with each near-miss—a loop of ‘almost’s and ‘just-so’s that remind you he can take away as much as he can give.

“Hm?” He’s encouraging as he draws you from your stupor, a lapse in his unkindness—some space for you to right your wrong.

“A slut.”

Joel rolls back on the knob of bone that ends his spine, curling his hips up to give you just the slightest bit of friction. 

“That’s right. Little pussy’s being such a slut for me.” He shifts up again, just a beat to punctuate his point, the squelch that follows sounding out in the silence as if on cue. “Don’t know how you don’t fall all over yourself dripping like that.” 

You’re humming again in response, the last two full words taking more of a toll than they’re worth, voice scratchy from just how much crying you’ve done. The little analog clock on the nightstand ticks, tallying the painfully long stretch that’s passed since he promised to fuck you; that and the hour, maybe—or well over—since he decided he was going to make you wait for it instead. 

He savors this—the chance to make you up like some sleepy, weak thing that he can dote on, that he can thaw between his hands and mold into all of his beloved shapes, syrupy and unwound and enamored. He loves you like this, at his mercy, the heft of his strength and his promise enough to carry you through to the other side of content. 

He needs you like this. 

Joel reaches down to where your middle scrapes the start of his chest, grazing his knuckles over the swell in your lower tummy, rubbing at the wide protrusion that evidences his excitement. He flattens his palm over it like a bandage, uses it as leverage to put some space between you so he can get a better view, carving out more room where he’s hooking into you.

“Look at that. Got me so deep inside you it’s trying to come out. You gonna keep it in for me?” 

You’re nodding before he’s even finished, ready for him to bring you to another barely-peak, shoulders slack so as to not work yourself up, hope strapped to the last notch. 

“Poor thing. Had enough, honey? Ready to beg for it?” 

You huff before thinking, “I have been.” 

“No—crying at me isn’t begging. You have to ask.” 

“Please.” 

“Please…?” 

“Joel, can you pl–” 

He scoops up the meat of your cheeks with his free hand, fingers scalloping the flesh in a tight grip, wedging the points between your teeth until it feels like he’s inside you; he has you by your soul at this point, his hold runs so deep. 

“I know my girl isn’t that dim. How many times have we practiced this, sweetheart? Still can’t get it right on the first try?” 

He’s dead serious—frown severe—but you can’t help the curl of your mouth, laughter bubbling at the base of your throat. What a horrible, mean man he wants to be. In reality, he loves you more than he’s able to say most days, only leaning back on this game of obedience and correction and reward as a crutch when he can’t find the words. 

“Sorry, daddy.” 

Joel angles his fingers back so that he’s hanging onto the hinges of your jaw, the broad U of his middle-to-thumb long enough to give you room to speak and breathe and scream. 

His hips start to cant, the sticky swing of his cock inside you pulsing outwards, a fresh wave of arousal pooling at the joint. 

“There we go. Go ahead with the rest, then.”

“Daddy—fuck, please.” 

His resolve begins to melt at just the mention of his newly-appointed favorite title, a thing that slides between completely earnest and a silly pass at something new, not completely settled into habit. Even so, it’s sticking fast, the sheen over his eyes and abnormal measure of his breathing proof enough. 

“Please, what, sweet girl? You need daddy to make that slut pussy happy? You need to come?” 

Your mouth is wide open, nothing coming out but brief, irregular puffs of air that keep you conscious. He’s enjoying it—hoists his chest up so he can get close to your face, unhinge his own jaw, mock you that much more. He fails to not smile, head bobbing has he continues to fuck up into you with all the effort his body, and this position, are willing to allow. 

The hand pushing into your stomach falls, twisting at the wrist so he can toy with your clit, struggling not to slip in the web of slick that’s yet to dry where you’re connected. He’s determined, though—switches his thumb for the flat section of skin between his last two knuckles, gliding along the bead of skin at your core until you’re slumping forward, unable to take the whole brunt of him at full mast. 

“Oh, honey. Can’t even get fucked right anymore, can you? What’s gonna happen when you can’t take this cock? What do you suppose I do with you, then?” 

“No, daddy. ‘M just tired. Don’t stop, please.”

“Half-awake and the only thing you can think to do is ask for more. Now we’re getting somewhere.” 

“Yes, more, more.” 

“That’s right. Tell daddy how grateful you are. Tell me how much you need it.” 

“Fuck, yes. I need you.”

The fingers on your face pinch harder, throbbing as your cheek contours to the line of your teeth. Joel shakes his wrist, your neck lolling in his clutch as he commands your attention.

“Hey, I let it slide the first time. Don’t use that kind of language with me, girl. Be polite to me for all I do for you.” 

You’re too close to the end to say anything other than sorry, sorry daddy, the pitch rising in time with his movements, the burn of your climax worming its way up your spine. He’s equally as close, descending into the force of his movements so quickly he abandons his half-hearted reprimand, lashes clumping and wet, the line of his brow shining with sweat. He works at your clit with unwavering effort, sliding ten-fold as you begin to meet his thrusts, the two of you fighting to be on-beat in the work-up.

“I’m gonna come. Please. Please, can I?” 

“What am I going to want to hear from you before you do, sweetheart?” He tucks the bow of tissue that separates his thumb to your chin, his longer fingers plucking at some of the hair that's tacked down with wet—another show of sympathy.

“I love you.” 

“How sweet are you, hm—when you want to be? That’s my perfect girl. Just one more time, now.”

“Joel, I love you. More than f—more than anything.” 

He manages a exhale—his best attempt at amusement in this state—at the way you fumble to catch your own error, too close to the edge to afford another mistake. 

You clamp down with both hands on the forearm clutching your face, like more of you on him can better emphasize your statement and he moans, a high, ragged thing that falls out before he can contain it. 

Eventually, he accepts, “I love you, too, honey. More than you know.” 

You’re right at the cusp now, cunt seizing around where he’s driving up into you and he aims to bring you there before he falters, “Come on, let me have it. Show me just how much you love me.“

It's just a slew of yes’s after that, body locking up as the crest of your orgasm washes over you in flashes of white, so intertwined with him you don’t realize he’s made his way there as well, the sear of his release a welcome addition to the flurry. 

He doesn’t stop until your breathing evens, dropping his grip to wind his arms at the small of your back. He envelops you the way he wishes he could have to begin with, with all of the raw affection he needs courage to produce. 

“I mean it. Really.” He thumbs at the bumps of your spine, a swirl of something like guilt threading through his voice. 

You’re quick to dismiss it, dropping your head into the slope of his neck, the chill of September flooding in now that you’ve halted. You bring an arm up, fingers pleating into the hair he’s grown out in preparation for the season—a cut you suspect he’s kept because you’d mentioned taking a liking to it. You shuffle closer, knees slanted inwards to cradle him.

“I know, Joel. I’ll love you for the rest of my life.”

[pakunod-a]

Silly Prom Night

Prompt: It's prom night! What do these men do in the ballroom? 🤨

Pairing: Overblot boys x Reader

Riddle, Leona, Azul, Jamil (I) [here]

Vil, Idia, Malleus (II) [here]

CW: Random stuff, not really fanfiction-ish, more like drabbles, some shorter than others lolololololololololol Reader is referred to as You and Yuu. Reader is described to wear a gown, other than that it's gender-neutral if you don't mind the fabric gap. Bad English because I'm not a native English speaker :( not proof-read, random as FUCK and characters might seem very ooc if they do I blame my not-so-American education

Notes: entire work is based off of stuff that happened to me last night at prom, and i was thinking about various characters that would probably fit the profile of all the mishaps that happened to me last night lolololol

Work under the cut :)

Riddle Rosehearts !

You were sitting at your table, waiting for the buffet service to end so you could take the dance floor.

Well, it's not like anyone's dancing with you.

To be fair, you were supposed to be partnered with a first-year, who got sick the night before, so he couldn't make it. Poor lad.

It was horribly long, it felt like a very, very long time.

It took around thirty minutes for the dance to start, and everybody's got a partner.

All, except for you.

What a bummer.

Wait, is that the housewarden of Heartslabyul, in the corner, without anyone asking him to dance?!

Let's go fix that. 🏃

You ask him if he wants to dance, and he simply says;

"No."

"Come on, it's a ball, you're supposed to dance. You're getting there whether you like it or not. This long ass dress won't stop me from dragging you on the dance floor."

You ended up having a half-hearted Riddle dance with you.

Honestly, the way he held you felt like he wasn't interested at all, let alone happy. It felt like he was disgusted by your presence.

Every time you'd look at him, he would have an unpleasant look on his face, and aim his gaze elsewhere.

After the dance is over, and everyone returns to their seats, and you get a notification from your phone on Magicam. It was Cater, tagging you in a post.

"So cute! I'm vouching for RiddeYuu next year. #RiddeYuu #YuuRid"

..huh. Attached to the post was a video, and a bunch of hashtags you swear you didn't care about. You clicked the video, thinking that it was some kind of impractical prank being played on you.

Oh boy.

Boy, were you wrong.

In the video, it was you and Riddle dancing together on the dance floor. Riddle was a mess, blushing and shying away from all the lights. He had a small smile, as he evaded your gaze whenever you looked at him. He seemed genuinely happy to dance with you.

Maybe he wasn't disgusted after all.

Maybe he really did love dancing with you.

Leona Kingscholar !

You couldn't count the number of times this guy stepped on the hem of your train.

It's like your hair being pulled out of your skull, except it's your entire body being pulled back like a slingshot.

It wasn't the most fun experience.

Then, you had to pick a partner to dance with for the nth time this evening.

Your feet hurt already, how much more dancing?

Surprisingly, even though you had little to no interest in dancing, a certain sleepy lion approaches you with a scowl on his face.

"C'mon herbivore, chop chop. Vargas says I gotta dance for extra credit. You look like you could use it too."

This feels and sounds condescending.

He's pretty nice to dance with, doesn't step on the hem of your train anymore, nor does he step on your feet.

On the contrary, he scoops up the longer part of your train whenever you'd have a hard time walking somewhere.

Other times, he straight up carries you like you're a cat.

It's funny, really.

There was this one instance where you mentioned you wanted ice cream.

He set you down on his chair near his party's table, and disappeared. He actually came back with half-eaten ice cream

You love your sleepy lion, even if he seems a little TOO catty at times. :)

You eventually got too tired to dance, and just sat down. Leona napped on your shoulder.

How sickeningly cute.

Azul Ashengrotto !

Where there is bank to be made, Azul Ashengrotto's the merchant's name.

Seriously, this guy's part of the catering group for the buffet.

Bro did NOT stop making deals at a school function. The grind never stops, respect for that.

You'll probably end up selling your kidney and a lung if you stayed there any longer.

Buuuuut, he does need a dancing partner.

So what say you, if he offered you a slice of mango graham cake and a cup of coconut jelly with a side of gelato in exchange for a dance?

Hell yeah. sorry to the readers that dont have a sweet tooth, have some roasted garlic and onions.

He wasn't too bad honestly, never stepped on your feet once.

You do remember having two gold bracelets on your hands.

He admired one for a quick moment, and it seemed to disappear.

Now, he wouldn't go around stealing stuff from anybody.

No no.

He found it on the floor, while you were too busy dancing.

You want it back?

"Three more dances. Then I'll give you your bracelet back. After all, what's a precious bracelet in exchange for a few dances, no?~"

"You're wasting my time, screw you."

You ended up dancing with him, ten times.

Not thrice.

Ten.

Bro just exploited the jewelry glitch, and wore you out all night.

"Oh, poor Yuu, however will you get back home? If you promise to help out at Mostro Lounge, I'll have you home in a jiffy—"

Thud.

You fell on the ground, snoring.

Oh. You're asleep now. That's convenient.

Don't worry, he'll carry you back home to Ramshackle, free of charge.

After all, dancing with him all night must've tired you out.

He'll just repay the favor.

Surely, that would be the more gentlemanly thing to do.

Jamil Viper !

Would you believe me if I said this guy was in the corner, squinting his eyes as he looked for someone?

Oh. Dude must be looking for Kalim. Fortunately for him, he's over by the second-year's table, away from him.

Hold on.

Away from him???

But the Octotrio sits at that very table.

The Leech twins and Azul Ashengrotto himself?!

Hell no!

Jamil sprints half a mile across the ballroom in an attempt to sweep Kalim away.

"You shouldn't be sitting with them. They're not exactly the type of people you should be socializing for this type of event."

Not even a few seconds later, Kalim trips on a giant camera stand.

He face-planted into the ground, his nose bleeding from hitting the ground too hard. He still has that stupidly goofy smile on his face.

It honestly gives you cuteness aggression.

He had to be brought to the infirmary.

Poor Jamil, he really doesn't get a break.

It's not until he gets dragged to the dance floor, does he leave Kalim's side.

Let me tell you, once this guy relaxes, DAMN can he dance.

He could be blindfolded and spun around five times, and he'd STILL have the balance and elegance of a ballerina.

Work it girl, show those students who's boss.

note: "which events were these inspired from?" oh wow i thought youd never ask let me give you a tour of my brain juice i used to write this real quick and indulge myself in an immersive storytelling 🤜💥🧱

For Riddle: when i got called up for my award, there was a boy who also won the same award in the male category. we were instructed to dance together, for the Royalty dance. i thought he was disgusted because i was holding him, so i felt uncomfortable dancing with him. in a video posted by my schoolmate, they tagged me in a video of him looking at the camera and smiling as he waved. he looked half pale and half pink.

For Leona: while dancing for the "waltz" part of the prom, i felt hungry and told my dancing partner i was hungry, but they wouldnt let me back into the buffet because my dress almost took up the entire line for the buffet, so i either had to ask someone to get it for me or have my homeroom teacher get it for me. he eventually sat me on a chair, and ran back with ice cream from the dessert bar. he did eat the whipped cream and cherries, so i made him go back and get another.

For Azul: this one student was working behind the counter at the buffet, and he was jokingly stealing his dance partner's earrings, necklace, and bracelets while she wasnt looking. he said it costs three waltzes for a singular piece of jewelry to be reclaimed, but if she danced to a budots remix, she'd get everything back. she waltzed for more than seven times until she collapsed onto a couch and snored for an hour straight. she did get her jewelry back, and she resumed dancing with our Azul-like classmate.

For Jamil: i saw someone slip and their friend was scolding them for not being careful. he sat down at the table full of people who dont like him, and he got an earful from his friend on why he shouldnt sit there. his friend reminded me of Jamil so much, i had to write him like that.

[mgarmagedon]

Okay my Transformers Earthspark season 2B review!!!

There will be spoilers, skip it if you don't want any spoilers

I won't repeat myself about topics I already talked about like Hashtag, plot holes, graphics that give me nightmares, etc.

So... you can be surprised but most of the episodes weren't making me instantly mad! Ik, ik, it's shocking, but yeah, main cause of it is Prowl! Like every episode that he was in was entertaining enough to foucs me on what was happening and not make me think about all the fucking filler and waste of potential is happening in background XDD

But before we go to this part, let's start from the beginning! 3 first ep of this part of a season were just straight up fucking filler. Like those eps were so boring and unimportant that while i was writing a review of it on my instagram yesterday I needed to rewatch first episode, because I forgot what was happening there XDDD like omg every ep before Prowl showed up was so useless and waste of time!!! Like they could use it for like idk STARSCREAM DEVELOPMENT WHICH THEY STARTED IN SEASON 1, RUINED IN THE BEGINNING OF THE SECOND AND DID NOTHING LATER WITH IT

But lets go to the fun part uwu which is ep where Prowl shows up, like he and Megatron are holding this fucking shit show on their shoulders every scene they are in XD

Like Prowl is such a funny racist bitch, I'm kinda sad that they forgot that Tarantulus exist and never do something with him and Prowl, like that would be so cool if Prowl was anti hero, not a villain... but him being funny racist learning that he should respect other ppl is ig cool???

I still fucking can't believe that his figure is repainted cyberverse Roddi

And second is Megan, which is serving (not in design way), every scene that she shows up in is just melting my heart, because he is such a cute grandpa for Twitch (he is not her fucking father figure, he is elder man which is taking care of youngling, which means he is grandpa for hair >:(((()

I can only put one video in the post so I only show you this, but like OMG he is stealing the fucking show, every fucking scene he calls her 'little bird' one child rids off the daddy issue

But let's come back to rest of the stuff, which means: too many fucking characters.

Like there is so much characters that they have almost 0 time do develop or even talk, like yet Grimlock showed up only in zombie ep for longer than 10 seconds in season overall, and doesn't even talk XDD

Or Starscream situation, like for sure focusing on terrans having troubles with Robby's alien date was more important than Screamer reliving the trauma of being left by everyone and getting crazy to the point he is talking to corpses... IT'S NOT IMPORTANT AT ALL

And I don't even wanna know what they will do with this giant bitch which they woke up in the end...

ANYWAY Season 2B is getting 5/10 score, which is the highest for Earthspark yet!

It's like buying from the Shein, you think it looks cute and cool, but turns to dust while you put it on your ass.

Ah and this one pic I made a while ago is still really valid

Ah and Izzy is bad villain like bad not in evil way just bad

[pickmedolls]

✸﹏𓉸ྀི ݁ ˖ ◜GET READY! DOLL SUMMER IS HERE!!

DOLL SUMMER is the third mini album of Heartbreak’s beloved girl group Pick Me. It was released on July 10th, 2024 and featured the tittle track STICKY, which they promoted alongside the lead track ACT LIKE AN ANGEL for four weeks. During this time, they performed STICKY thirteen times, and ACT LIKE AN ANGEL another six. In addition, the girls performed each of remaining the tracks at least once, making the total of twenty-six performances from which twenty-two earned them a win.

GET YOUR PHOTOCARDS HERE!!

⁰¹ STICKY ⁰² GET HIM BACK! ⁰³ CALL ME (4 A GOOD TIME) ⁰⁴ HOW MANY LOVERS? ⁰⁵ ACT LIKE AN ANGEL

⁰¹ The title track might just be the most controversial song on the album. With Pick Me’s carefree and unfiltered style, it’s almost a given that they’ll face backlash for being too bold and "tarnishing" the reputation of K-pop. With STICKY, the drama erupted over its choreography and revealing outfits. Used to this kind of drama, Yue and Kiko went live, with Yue declaring: “Look, I’m done repeating myself. We’re real people, not company-controlled idols. If we want to wear cute little sundresses and shake our asses in our songs, that’s our call. Stop being a fucking pain in the ass and go stan someone else. Honestly, we couldn’t care less”, to which Kiko would add: “And we’re all adults, for you information. We’re allow to twerk on camera.”

⁰² Rumor has it that Jules and Rosie wrote this song with a particular name in mind. Shortly after the group’s debut, both girls found themselves caught up in a rumor claiming they were romantically involved with the same guy, who was allegedly cheating on one with the other. The guy in question was said to be none other than Lee Junseo, a well-known soloist under IDOL MAKER and former groupmate of Jules, artistically known as JUNO. Although the rumor was never confirmed by the companies or those involved, it was never denied either. Years later, with the release of their mini-album, the fire has reignited, and fans are convinced that GET HIM BACK is a silent confirmation of the rumor.

⁰³ CALL ME (4 A GOOD TIME) is yet another testament to the girls’ vocal prowess and their commitment to delivering live. This track is the only one on the album that got its own Band Live Version, quickly becoming a stan Twitter classic for shutting down any haters who doubt their live performance skills. Microphones were on, and the girls ate and left no crumbs! All drama aside, this song is an uncommon occurrence because Yue rarely produces and writes entire tracks on her own.

⁰⁴ No Pick Me album is complete without a Jules-produced banger to let loose and dance until you drop. HOW MANY LOVERS? aligns with the album’s overall sound but adds Jules’ signature fresh and playful twist. Her solo fans devoured the song and made sure stan Twitter was flooded with her fancams. To top it off, the girls released a series of TikTok videos under the hashtag #LoversParty!, where they danced to the chorus alongside various idols, with quick-cut edits switching from one person to another—if you haven’t seen it yet, you’ll want to check out the video above.

⁰⁵ Produced by Heidi, a regular in the girls' discography, ACT LIKE AN ANGEL is the album's most viral track. This comes as no surprise, since all of Heidi's productions tend to become fan favorites, often driving the most traction and success. Heidi's journey as a producer for Pick Me dates back to the girls' debut, when she was personally sought out by Heartbreak to produce Angel of My Dreams, the first of many bops to her name.

ARTISTS CREDITED ﹏ Finn (@bluwavez) ✸ Heidi (@allta1k)

✸﹏Fuck Brat Summer, it’s Doll Summer all along!

✸﹏In an episode of Doll Diaries, the hit behind-the-scenes mini-series for Pick Me, fans caught a bit of drama in the background of one scene. You can hear Sylvia Hara, the group’s creative director and manager, and Yue having a pretty heated conversation off to the side. The mics barely picked it up, but after hours of replaying the clip, fans are convinced Sylvia was going off on Yue for her attitude during one of the group’s win performances, where she looked pissed at Rosie and Jules.

Different fan accounts have slightly different takes, but the general gist of the convo goes something like this: “Yue, you’re not fucking five years old. I don’t give a shit how you feel about them or what you think off-camera. When the cameras are rolling, you cut the crap and smile. I’m done with this bullshit.”

Yue’s solo stans immediately jumped to defend her when the other girls’ solo fans tried to paint her as a bully. She later took to Twitter, claiming it was all just a misunderstanding and that she was having a bad day during the performance. Even Kiko chimed in, saying that everything’s good between the members and that their relationship is actually super close.

✸﹏The girls promoted…[ERROR_NOT FOUND]

[nerd-space]

No thoughts, Mike spanking your pussy with a belt. He's gotta practice his disciplinary on someone if he's going to be a leader one day 😉

oHdhwhc writing a lot on this bcus i... yeah.. lets just say getting your cooch smacked w a leather belt is ahem.. REAL nice from experience I LOVE THIS SHITTTT

warnings: impact play, INCORRECT USE OF LEATHER BELT, degradation+praise, Mike being on a wicked power trip lol

Dom!Mike who dotes on you despite your abnormally bratty remarks all day- knowing you probably had a rough week or just were off today

Dom!Mike who when you get home, corners you into the front door and questions why you acted so out of line earlier

"Sweetheart? What was that all about huh?...bad week?....yeah?... y'want me to help you wind down?... mhm?...okay, baby.. i can do that."

you thought he was going to let you ride your stresses out... not this time.

Now you've got a spread bar between your ankles that locks your legs open- the first whack of his leather belt stining and making tears prick your eyes

"A-ah!- o-ow.."

"Aww s'that hurt baby? Too bad, you'll learn to like it."

He makes you count everytime too omg...

"Count, you'll keep counting till i feel like you've earned getting fucked 'kay?"

he heard you whine in protest and clocks his belt under your jaw sternly to make you speak

"Oh-Kay?"

"m-mhm...'kay.."

"Count one, baby"

"On-ah!-one!"

"Good girl, now keep that going for me"

He likes to pause between smacks to rub his leather belt into your wet cunt, rubbing the sticky stuff all over your pussy and his belt...sometimes tapping the belt over your clit to give you a little stimulation just to pull away as fast and smack again, forcing you out of your pleased headspace and snapping you back into punishment.

"Aww..what? poor brat is tired and just wants what? speak up, hon...me? you want me?... Just a few more for me? Yeah? Good girl, always so good for me"

You're in tears and hiccuping as he hits harder every last whack he can, you finally count to ten and youre shivering and dripping from your core as he finally slips under the spread bar to lean forward and kiss your face so softly, rubbing your sides in a comforting manner

"Good girl, ohhhohh you did so good for me.. now.. will you be bratting out on me like that again? or will you properly ask me to fuck that stress out of you hm?"

you sigh and grin a wicked grin as you look at him mischievously

"...well....what if i...say no to that?"

"Alrighty have it your way, baby."

he moves back and winds up his arm to leave another harsh SMACK against your cunt- now making you count and extra 15 hits.

need. that. hashtag.

[craetor]

Hi....! If you don't mind, can I ask, who are your top 5 favorite romantic relationship's couples in books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series (can be canon or non-canon) and your top 10 favorite characters ever from any media? Why do you love them all? Thanks if you want to answer....

Omg hi! Yeah no problem! Hope they're not too obvious. I've done this before so this is a nice update♡

5th favorite ship: Griffguts

I usually hate romance that's based on misunderstandings but Griffith is just so cunty and I love how he comes onto Guts, who totally likes it but is such an oblivious dude about it. If Griffith wasn't so tight-lipped about his inner workings toward everyone, let alone the one he wants more than literally anything and could absolutely have, as Guts proves to him so many times, they'd be such a power couple. I've written about their potential several times in fics. Their misunderstanding is annoying but kinda funny, which I enjoy a lot, as you're going to find out further down the line. Also the rivalry they eventually find themselves in is very hot because whenever they see each other it's like a visceral reaction. I don't like the Berserk story a whole lot. I just like to focus on their relationship.

4th favorite ship: Billford

The psychosexuals. They also speak to my monsterfucker side a lot (Bill for being a psychotic demigod who doesn't have any fine-tuned idea of tactfulness & autistic antisocial nerd who just wanted to be a monster hunter). I love myself a codependent gay romance. I love particularly much how much Ford is genuinely just into being ruined by Bill, getting tattoos for him, following his self-righteous, usually simple-minded demands (like getting rid of Frilliam & building the portal just so he can have a stable dimension to return to after another night of heisting & partying) and letting him alter his very mind. I also like that they spiral into this (at first genuinely macabre, but later) silly rivalry, when Bill comes down a bit from their falling-out and has moved on from ruining his life and resorts to flicking Ford's nose, ruffling his hair and hashtag pranking him by turning him into a gold effigy ("why did the old man do this ✋️⚠️✋️" is so great omg...). Old man yaoi. They're really fun.

3rd favorite ship: Saiouma

Some of Danganronpa's characters have no business being this freaking complex. I adore their cat and mouse game, but Kokichi's sweetness toward Shuichi makes it my favorite detective-thief relationship ever. I'm a sucker for the trickery and mind games but in other Sherlock-Moriarty type situations I always miss the moment where the two look into each other's eyes in a heated moment and see a glitz of honesty that makes them all weak. Also, through canon Saiouma interactions most of the evidence that Kokichi isn't an evil freak can be derived, which is why I often enlace the two topics. I used to be EXTREMELY obsessed with them and know them like the back of my hand. They make me sigh dreamily and smile.

2nd favorite ship: Komahina

Intended from the beginning or not, they're super well-written. They are in eachother's business in every timezone of their teenage lives we get to see. If it's pre- or post-lobotomy, they see every change in each other's life through. They're such oddballs next to each other, but they're so freakily compatible. When they insult and fawn over each other in canon my heart blooms. Because it's fucking funny but also I believe this uncensored honesty is extremely important to both of them. It's important that the other can take it, and he does. Immediately they're less contrived than the mainstream hetero relationships I loathe. When I think about how they ruined and then built up and then ruined and build up each other's lifes it undoes them so beautifully because half the time they don't even know it's each other at the time. When I imagen what they'll become after the end of the canon story I just know they'll do so well for each other. They're just exhausted. Let them have their little relationship.

Favorite ship: Lawlight

Even after all the shows and movies I've been watching lately, all the new pairings I've been exposed to, they remain my favorite. They're just perfect. I just empathize a lot with them, I guess. All the truly solid relationships in my life are based on an initial rivalry or constant bickering, constant rearranging and reaffirming our statuses, which eventually becomes one perfectly balanced and dense element, like a diamond. I can't but feel comfort in analyzing them and see that they could be much the same. And it's not just the projection that brings me comfort. Death Note is a legitimately good piece of media that I enjoy ironically and unironically. Takeshi Obata is my favorite artist after Francesco de Goya & Madhouse (my favorite animation studio) absolutely cooked when they made the show. I'm always so happy to be exposed to them & their memory is such a cherished part of my brain. I don't think I've felt this way about any other pairing (this intensely, I mean. Komahina aren't on my mind a lot anymore).

I'm so disappointed that there are no (true) yuri relationships that make it into my top 5. Only some yuri yaoi & for-lesbian BL.

My (roughly) top 10 favorite characters (I love analyzing concepts of people):

• Violet Evergarden (10/10 stories, lovely character as story telling device, walking sapphic symbolism, I love that she's never sexualized♡♡♡)

• Gundham Tanaka (love his vibe, especially when Sonia is around. We stan a self-confident loser who found comfort in alt fashion)

• Griffith

• Souichi, both young and old (from Junji Ito's Souichi) (I hate him he's so shitty💖)

• Johan Liebert (he's entirely underrated. His motivations are so complex and ambivalent. Thank Madhouse for introducing me to another slay.)

• Yumeko Jabami (because Kakegurui is one of my all-time favorite shows & I have to pick the nexus of it all to symbolize that. I also love her design)

• Miu Iruma (she's so period. Pop the wig finna snap boot the house down hunty werk. The way Kokichi and her bounce off each other is so entertaining. She's so fun and literally genuinely smart. So sad she had to go. I could totally see her as a survivor too)

• Kokichi Ouma (I'm still upset gamegrumps don't understand him. He's phenomenally written. Almost ridiculous amount of effort on the devs' side)

• Nagito Komaeda (my wonderful son with a dozen disorders)

• L Lawliet (INTJ king. Silly, tragic, interesting, what more must I say?)

I've been having insane brainrot about the mass production Evas, Hanuš from Spaceman & the demigod from The Ritual because they're very fuckable, as I've finally come into myself as I've realized I'm kinning Stanford Pines (which led to a small unraveling at first, not alleviated by my strong pull towards the Canadian/Icelandic wilderness I've been feeling for years and am about to give in to. Just kinda made it feel like my fate of falling into the hands of a hot, malevolent ancient deity is sealed).... But they're just crushes so... foot note for them.

[pagegirlintraining]

✂️🎵 for dancing through life pls? 💜

Thank you Lia 💜 it’s been ages since I’ve gotten to talk (or honestly think much) about DTL. So answering this ask was such a nice throwback.

I’ll start with the shorter answer, which is ♬ THEME SONG: pick a fic and I’ll share a song that reminds me of it (and why!):

There are so many possible songs for this one, simply because of all the routines. But one that isn’t directly involved in it but still reminds me of it is “Power” by Spinall, because the original plan for the epilogue was to let them perform a street dance choreo to this song. Obviously in the end I went less ‘fuck the monarchy’ and more ‘dreamy, fluffy boys in love’. But I still think they’d have killed that choreo.

As for the deleted scene, I picked the moment Simon learns about Wille’s obsession with the ship edits people keep making of them. Featuring Erik being a shithead of course 😁 this is set in chapter 11, during the night of their dinner where Simon first meets Erik as Wille’s boyfriend.

The sound of laughter coming from the saloon made Wilhelm stop, his hand halting its movement right above the door handle in favor of listening for a moment.

It wasn’t like he’d necessarily been worried about leaving his brother and his boyfriend alone for the five minutes it had taken him to use the bathroom. Still, having this audible proof that they were getting along splendidly without him flooded his chest with so much warmth, he had to give himself a moment to process it. To really dwell in this feeling of pure, utter love he felt for the two men whose laughter had morphed more into a series of giggles on Erik’s part and several snorts on Simon’s now. Only then did he let himself press down the handle.

“You need to see this, baby,” was the first thing out of Simon’s mouth the moment he clocked Wilhelm’s presence, an outstretched hand waving Wilhelm over in a gesture so entirely adorable, he thought for a moment his heart was going to entirely melt inside his chest. Erik made sure to prevent that from happening.

“Oh, don’t worry. He’s probably seen all of these already”, he was saying, and from the devilish gleam in his eyes, Wilhelm knew instantly that that couldn’t possibly be a good thing for him.

“What are you watching?” he asked, unable to fully suppress an air of apprehension. In response, Simon simply repeated the same gesture with his hand, and this time, Wilhelm followed his request, stepping over to the sofa holding him and Erik, his hand immediately finding Simon’s shoulder, thumb brushing the side of his neck as he peered over it and onto the laptop screen on Simon’s legs.

He was only mildly surprised when he found a picture of his own face there, an official one that the Let’s Dance Instagram account had used to announce his and Simon’s partnership on the show, albeit airbrushed in a way that made it seem like he was exuding a white glow. There wasn’t much time to wrap his head around this, since his gaze was caught quickly by another face beside his own, this one Simon’s, just as ridiculously airbrushed. He had also clearly been cropped out of the original photo in order to stand closer to Wilhelm, in a way that left them both smiling right at the camera, their photoshopped temples nearly touching.

“Vote for #TeamWilmon” the caption above said, with a whole rainbow made of hearts and two crowns behind it. Yeah, he definitely knew why Erik had been laughing now. And knowing his brother, the next few minutes, if not hours, were bound to be majorly embarrassing for Wilhelm.

“It seems people have decided that we have a team name now,” Simon was saying, clearly oblivious to his inner turmoil, “There’s a whole hashtag and it’s apparently been trending on and off over the last few weeks.”

“Oh. How, uh, supportive of them.”

“They’re really creative, too”, Simon continued, apparently too engrossed in this new discovery to notice Wilhelm’s abysmally hidden embarrassment. “This one person made a compilation of you tripping in practice and told people to vote if they wanted to see the monarchy fall.”

“That… that’s actually pretty clever”, Wilhelm got out, feeling himself relax a little bit. He could handle Simon potentially teasing him about falling down in practice. Lord knew he was already doing plenty of that, and eight times out of ten, Wilhelm got a kiss or two as an apology afterwards. So honestly, he didn’t mind that part in the least. What he was much more nervous about was Erik tattling on him and telling Simon how he’d been actively watching different kinds of videos about himself and Simon lately. So much so that his entire for you page was now basically one big collage of ‘Wilmon’. Because yeah, people were very creative when it came to putting together different combinations of clips of the two of them to all kinds of dramatic and sometimes cutesie music. And sue him, but a lot of times, that combination really worked for him.

Any tentative hope of getting out of this mostly unharmed was crushed the moment Erik cleared his throat, adding a low chuckle eight after.

“I’m surprised you haven’t seen any of these before, Wille. Then again, you’re more partial to the couple montages, aren’t you?”

“The couple montages?”

Of course, Simon would’ve jumped right on that. Wilhelm’s eyes squeezed shut in a pained expression all by themselves. When he opened them again, Simon had shifted on the couch, now fully turned back to face Wilhelm.

“You’re making couple montages?”

And okay, with how not at all weirded out - and maybe even slightly excited - Simon sounded asking this, Wilhelm suddenly felt almost bad that that wasn’t what he’d been doing.

“Not, uhm… not exactly.”

“He’s binging ship edits of the two of you. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’d made a fan account himself at this point.”

Yup, leave it to his big brother to ruin his life.

“You’re completely exaggerating”, he claimed, trying to come off as somewhere between amused and nonchalant rather than as panicked as he suddenly felt. Because what if Simon thought that was a ridiculous, or even creepy thing for him to be doing? What if he disapproved of the whole ‘shipping real people’ aspect of it all and would get mad at Wilhelm for not actively opposing it?

“Oh, am I?“ If anything, Erik’s grin had widened since Wilhelm’s last comment, which kind of made him regret not simply keeping his mouth shut. “So you’re saying if I were to check your Tiktok likes right now, there wouldn’t be anything from, say, last night, when you insisted on going to bed early only to then proceed to watch videos without your headphones until way past midnight?”

“Fuck off, Erik. I was watching a movie and fell asleep in front of it.”

It wasn’t even a lie. He had put on an old comedy for background noise that he’d ultimately ended up dozing off to. There was no actual way for Erik to know that he’d been more focused on the compilation of their rehearsal packages he’d been watching on his phone at the same time.

“Sure, stay in denial”, Erik told him now, his tone of voice making it very clear that be wasn’t actually planning on letting Wilhelm stay in denial about this. And really - “I just thought your boyfriend should know how big of a fan you are of your rela-“

That’s as far as he got before Simon surprised both of them by asking, “Do you have a favorite?”

It took Wilhelm a moment to even grasp the meaning of the question. When he did, he still felt like he needed to check again.

“You mean, like… a favorite edit?”

“Exactly.”

To his utter surprise, Simon was smiling up at him warmly, one hand coming to cover Wilhelm’s on the back of the couch, thumb beginning to draw slow patterns onto the back of it.

“I’ve only seen some of the ones that Rosh has sent me, but I’d love to know which ones you like. You know, just for, like, inspo, if I ever miss you and feel like checking some out.”

His cheeks had started to take on a slightly pink tinge toward the end, but just like the incredibly brave man Wilhelm knew him to be - god, he was so much braver than Wilhelm himself ever would be - he didn’t seem to even think about averting his eyes, or playing anything off with a stupid joke. No, his loving, wonderful boyfriend was looking right at Wilhelm with a soft smile and eyes that sparkled with open curiosity. And holy fuck, Wilhelm was so completely gone for him.

“I’ll show them to you later if you want,” he offered, and suddenly, it was the easiest thing. Because why not own the fact that he liked watching clips involving him and his beautiful boyfriend if it made Simon so obviously happy, and even a little bit giddy?

“”I’d love that”, he was telling Wilhelm now, smile deepening as he continued to stare up at him, their gazes irrevocably caught in one another.

“Urgh, you’re no fun”, Erik groaned next to them, but Wilhelm didn’t even need to look at him to know that he, too, was suppressing a genuine smile, even as he continued, “If you’re gonna keep doing whatever this is, I think I’ll call it a night now.”

“Night, Erik”, Wilhelm quipped without once taking his eyes off Simon, whose hand had now started to travel over his wrist and up his arm, leaving a string of goosebumps in its wake.

“Unbelievable,” he heard Erik mutter, but couldn’t find it in himself to mind the teasing he knew this would lead to in the future even a single bit.

I hope you like it and it feels in tone with the story. It really has been so long since I tried getting into DTL Wilhelm’s head (and writing him as Wilhelm. The amount of Wille’s I had to change in this one, rip me 😂) Anyway, thank you so much again for the ask, and giving my hectic brain something to be nostalgic about today 🥹💜

[worldclueless]

Much to discuss after the weekend it seems. Buckle up cause this is a long one.

After the Brazil GP, a lot of swirling thoughts I’ve been feeling for the past few months made themselves apparent. 

First things first: Formula 1 and by extensions some of its fans, are incredibly tolerant to concerning behavior. 

The concerning behavior of bigotry (specifically racism) continues to permeate the sport like a moldy sock. Putting up some hashtags and PR statements do very little to address the issue. 

Through press conferences that have grown to become a soapbox that he could speak unchallenged through (cause for some reason journalists prefer not to really do their job nowadays), Max has positioned himself to be some sort of persecuted figure (???). 

The latest boogeyman is the British bias that Max and RedBull harp on about and how they favour most (a very important distinction as POCs receive no such grace) British drivers. 

He’s able to go on and on and on about how persecuted he is by the British media without an ounce of irony or perspective. What’s worse, he’s enabled by RB and its fans, again, without an ounce of irony or perspective. 

The way in which he is treated with kids gloves at times is truly stunning. His comments about ‘having the wrong passport in the paddock’ were distasteful. Point blank. Just utterly distasteful to have those words uttered by a white Dutch man with a Belgian passport. And for some reason, his fans do their very best to be extremely dense as to why it was so distasteful. 

And then he throws a hissy fit for his right to say swear words. I think it’s personally dumb to police drivers over silly things like this, but the way in which Max is more passionate about swear words than, let’s say, kneeling with a fellow driver over police brutality…I don’t know, the reaction is different. 

In contrast, the head of the FIA was willing to ban Lewis for 6 races after a joke about being black. I have to emphasize (because it’s so fucking insane) the head of the FIA, Jean Todt, considered banning Lewis for SIX (!!!!) races because he joked about being black (and it was a popular Ali G joke mind you). 

Like, do you seriously think being able to say a swear word is the sword to die by and make yourself a martyr over? Do you think me, with my black, melanated self gives a fuck if you can say ‘fuck’? 

Furthermore, when I think of the way some fans speak about Lewis, it’s also the specific wording that is always used when they speak about Lewis. Lewis has grown so much (as if you were talking about a wayward child and not a 39 year old man) or Lewis is such a class act (always setting him to a higher standard and expecting him to take the high road) or Never liked Lewis before but I really am starting to now (strangely is always said after he is charitable to others who spew venom in his face).  

RB and its fans, have absolutely no leg to stand on about being persecuted when their environment can tolerate racism. Additionally, they continue to host and tolerate the presence of Nelson Piquet who was blatantly racist to Lewis. Max was able to fix his mouth after his Brazil win to make himself the victim of discrimination by the British press again, and then go celebrate with his Bolsonaro-supporter girlfriend and her racist father without an ounce of pushback from any of the journalists. Like, do I need to spell out the dynamics at play here? 

When teams are hosts to figures like Trump and Rogan, are we really surprised that racist and discriminatory actions amongst fans is able to happen when the messaging is clear: we can tolerate this. 

And unfortunately, it’s true. Fans can tolerate it cause to put it bluntly: y’all do not give a fuck. 

The journalists continuously fail to critique the ways in which this racist sentiment is able to insidiously thrive within the F1 environment. 

That’s why I’m just so skeptical of messaging that is pushed by new fans that ‘F1 is for the girlies.’ Which girlies exactly? Certainly not for me. 

This makes me think of Kenzo Craigie. I was delighted to see him and Lewis interacting and going for a hot lap. I loved seeing Kenzo so excited about meeting someone that looked like him and was so successful in his field. It was such a powerful moment. But it left me with a pit of anxiety in my stomach. That’s because Kenzo seemed like such a bright-eyed and eager boy.

When I saw the BBC interviews of Lewis as a child, I never actually saw a happy young boy. There was always deep sadness I detected in his voice when he spoke of his experiences as a young black racer. Recently, after Lewis spoke about suffering from depression that stemmed from the racist abuse he suffered as well as the high expectations placed on him, this confirmed my suspicions. 

Kenzo, in contrast, through my limited viewings of his interviews, seems relatively happier in his demeanor. And this is what I fear. I fear the way in which F1, its fans and the FIA will stomp out the light in his eyes. I don’t want to see this happy young black boy have his joyful spirit stomped on by an unrelenting organization. What’s worse, his Britishness will not shield him from any of the British bias (lol) that fans screech about. 

Bigotry will always thrive if there isn’t continuous action to address the problem, and I have zero faith in the FIA stepping up to meaningfully take action. 

Anyway, I think I’ll only stick around so long as Lewis is around cause I don’t think there’s much for me here as a young black woman. This sport would never love me back.

[caplanbuckybarnes]

Songs4Caplan Challenge

(I located an older song fic challenge from a deleted blog I had that had this graphic on it. LOL)

Rules:

Tag me in the authors notes & send me a message with yuor fic once it's posted! (along with the hashtag so I know which Masterlist to place the fic when I post it)

Please tag the proper warnings before the fic

Can be ANY CHARACTER YOU'D LIKE!!

More than one person can write for the same prompts

RPFs are allowed

If you’d like to write for more than one song, please make them separate fics

the songs are randomly picked from my playlist, so don't judge lol.

Can be however long you’d like the fic to be, however, please be considerate to the folks using the app and place the 'keep reading' feature on your posts!!

PLEASE tag the fic as #songs4caplan so i can easily find your fics!!!

Addicted to you simple plan

Africa Toto 

All downhill from here new found glory 

All for you sister hazel 

All summer long kid Rock 

Alone together fall out boy

Amnesia 5 seconds of summer

Animals maroon 5

As it was Harry styles 

as the world caves in Sarah cothran

Ashes of Eden breaking Benjamin 

Attention Charlie put 

Bad guy Billie eillish 

Bad things jace Everett

Beautiful mistakes maroon 5

Beautiful soul Jesse McCartney 

Before he cheats carrie underwood 

Before you go Lewis capaldi 

Beggin maneskin 

Better than me hinder

Blue ain’t your color Keith urban 

Burn usher 

Car radio twenty one pilots 

Church fall out boy

Climax usher 

Come & get it Selena Gomez 

Count on me Bruno mars 

Criminal Fiona Apple 

Deja vu Olivia rodrigo 

Delicate Taylor swift 

Diary Tino Coury 

Dirty laundry Carrie underwood 

Dirty thoughts Chloe adams 

Don’t call me up Mabel 

Downtown lady a 

Drivers license Olivia rodrigo 

Easy on Adele 

End of me a day to remember 

Every breath you take the police 

Every morning sugar ray 

Everybody hurts r.e.m. 

Fall for you secondhand serenade

Fallin Alicia keys 

Fast car Tracy Chapman 

Flowers Miley Cyrus 

For the first time the script

Forever young alphaville

Forever and ever amen randy Travis

Fuck it Eamon 

Fuck you bitch wheeler walker jr

Ghost of you Justin beiber

Glimpse of us Joji

God gave me you Blake Shelton 

Hate (I really don’t like you) plain white tees

Havana Camilla cabello 

Heart attack Demi lovato 

Heartbreak anniversary giveon 

Heaven Kane brown 

Hello darlin Conway twitty 

Hold on, we’re going on drake 

How do you sleep Jesse McCartney 

Hurt Johnny cash 

I fall apart post Malone 

I miss you blink 182

I see red everybody loves an outlaw 

I wanna be your slave maneskin 

I’m not the only one Sam smith 

I’m the only one Melissa Ethridge 

I’m yours Alessia Cara 

In my blood Shawn Mendes 

It ain’t me baby me Johnny cash 

Jealous nick Jonas 

Just one yesterday fall out boy 

Just the way you are Bruno mars 

Keep Holding On Avril Lavigne 

Killer queen Queen 

The last of the real ones 

Leave  the door open Bruno mars 

Leavin’ Jesse McCartney 

Let her go passenger

Like I can Sam smith

Lips of an angel hinder

Little do you know Alex & sierra 

Little Talks Mumfords & sons

Mama's broken heart Miranda lambert

Man down Rihanna

Misery Maroon 5

My Boo usher & Alicia keys 

Needed Me Rihanna 

Never gonna be alone Nickelback

New Rules Dua Lipa 

Not Over You Gavin DeGraw

Obsessed Mariah Carey

One Call Away Charlie Puth

One More Night Maroon 5

Our Song Taylor Swift

Picture KidRock & Sherry Crow 

PillowTalk Zayn Malik 

Please Don’t Leave Me Pink

Red Taylor Swift 

Remember the time Michael Jackson

Rolling in the deep Adele 

Say My Name Destiny’s Child

Say So Doja Cat 

She’s Got You Patsy Cline

Shower Becky G

Smokin out the Window Bruno Mars 

Someone You Loved Lewis Capaldi

Stay With Me Sam Smith

Take a Bow Rihanna

Take Me to Church Hozier

Take You Dancing Jason Derulo

There’s Nothing Holdin Me Back Shawn Mendes

Title Meghan Trainor

Too Good at Goodbyes Sam Smith

Too Little Too LAte JoJo

Trip Ella Mae

Trouble P!Nk

True Love P!NK

Unfaithful RIhanna

Unholy Sam smith

Unsteady X Ambassadors

Uptown Girl Billy Joel

Wait For You Elliot Yamin

Walk Me Home P!NK

Walkin After Midnight Patsy Cline

Want U Back Cher Lloyd

What a Man Gotta Do Jonas Brothers

What Ifs Kane Brown

Wolves Selena Gomez

Would You Go With Me? Josh Turner

You Found Me The Fray

You Had Me @ Hello A Day to Remember

You Need to Calm Down, Taylor Swift

[desceros]

Hey, if this is too personal totally feel free to disregard this! But I've seen you mention having adhd more than once, and I know a super common symptom is executive dysfunction. The professionals I see aren't sure if I have adhd specifically, but they agree that I definitely have major executive dysfunction issues. Like... it feels like an actual, physical wall between me and the things I need to do, and even want to do. This wall feels... impossible to scale. I think that's just executive dysfunction in general, though, and isn't really unique to me. I just wanted to know if you have any tips that help you do the things you want to do or need to do even when it feels impossible? I've tried so many of the tips I see online, I've done quite a bit of research into the mental illnesses I do have and even the ones I likely have, and... I don't know. I still just feel stuck. Sorry if my thoughts are disorganized or hard to follow, I'm sorta really going through it right now. I'm fine, just... stressing myself out. Any tips you feel comfortable giving would be so, so appreciated. And thank you for taking the time to read this!

yes indeed, i am hashtag officially diagnosed with what i like to affectionately call my dumb bitch disease (not that anyone else is allowed to use that term for it.... well. maybe my very close friends. but yeah. gotta laugh at the awful things so you don't cry, right?)

so the thing with adhd (well. any kind of mental health issue) is that it's all a spectrum. every human person on this planet is somewhere on the euclidean axis of how many neurodivergencies they have. some people have no recognizable symptoms in any of the recognized areas we have. some people may have mild issues with things, and it's a bit fuzzy if they "have adhd or not." when you talk to a professional, there's a particular line of demarcation that happens when someone is looking to diagnose you with something.

do these symptoms interfere with your day to day life? are they severe enough to rise to the level of DISORDER?

it's completely possible for you to struggle with executive function and not have adhd. you may have something else, as executive function disorder is not exclusively in the domain of adhd, or it might just be that those particular neurons are cranky in your brain. what you're doing here—recognizing symptoms and looking for ways to address them—is really good, and basically what adhd therapy does, anyway.

all that being said, honk shoo honk shoo, let's get into a What The Fuck Are You Talking About for people who want more information on the subject, and some advice i have for you. i'll start generally, then talk a little bit about the writing thing specifically since it's a bit of a special beast for me.

what you are describing does indeed sound like issues with executive function to me.

first, for those new to the idea, executive function is the fancy term for the "executive" of your brain. the guy in a fancy suit who makes shit happen. when you walk by a dirty plate, you have the thought "oh i should put that in the dishwasher." executive function is the gap between the thought "oh i should x" and doing x.

a lot of the problems that neurodivergent people have, especially those with adhd, is that this function is impaired. some days, it's just fucking impossible to move that plate.

and it's not consistently, or predictably. some days, you will be perfectly able to do the thing. yesterday you put the plate in the dishwasher. today you put the plate in the dishwasher. tomorrow you will put the plate in the dishwasher. but tuesday comes, and you walk by the dirty plate, think "oh i should put that in the dishwasher," and then you stand there and stare at it without moving it. and you're like, c'mon. it's easy. you did it yesterday. all it takes is moving your hand. picking up the plate. walking into the kitchen. putting it inside the dishwasher. isn't that so easy? why can't you do it? why isn't your hand moving? are you lazy? are you stupid? this is infuriating! you literally just did this yesterday! you've done it a hundred times! what the fuck is wrong with you?! and then wednesday comes. now you have two dirty plates. now the task is twice as hard. maybe you can do it. maybe you can't. it's a harder task now. now you have three plates. now you're guilty because you have all these dirty plates, and it's a mountainous task now, and your roommate is giving you stink eyes for leaving dirty plates out, and you're a fucking adult who should be able to take care of some dirty plates, and you want to, you WANT to take care of the plates, but every time you THINK about them you flop into a cold sweat—

this is executive dysfunction. it's one of the more insidious side effects of adhd in my experience. that said, there are a lot of little tricks i've gotten from therapy specific to addressing this problem, so i'll give you a list here.

DO I HAVE TIME? this is best used for small, quick tasks like our plate example. you walk by the dirty plate and think "i should put this in the dishwasher." do you have time, right now, to do it? will it interfere with the thing you were doing? for example, if you're on the way out the door because your ride is honking, the answer is no. if you're on the way to get another glass of water while kicking back and watching some youtube, the answer is yes. if you have the time, do it now. now let's say you bring the plate into the kitchen and open the dishwasher. it's clean. you haven't emptied it yet. now the task has changed. but that's okay; do you have the time to empty the dishwasher right now? maybe you only get an hour a week to kick back and watch the youtube, and it's a special time that you need in order to recharge. the answer becomes no. well the plate is in the kitchen now instead of your room. victory.

COIN FLIP GAME. this one i actually got from the anti-planner by dani donovan, which i can Not recommend highly enough. there is a task you have to do, and you want to do it, but you're having a problem getting started. or maybe you have to do it but it feels icky, but you do really need to do it. the important thing for this trick is that it is not time sensitive; if you don't do it right now, it's okay. so you flip a coin. heads, you do it. tails, you get to wait until you have the thought that you need to do it again. if you get tails, then you are allowed, guilt-free, not to do the thing. if you get heads, sorry champ but you're doing the thing. gamifying it in this manner kind of... cheats your brain into approaching things differently, which can help you get around that brick wall.

TASK INITIATION. sometimes, it's not that the task itself is the problem; it's because you're having problem with what's called "task initiation." getting Started doing the thing is really fucking hard. if this is your issue, you can try and approach it a different way, usually by going "backwards" down the order of operations. so say for example, laundry. i have a lot of trouble with laundry. if i think to myself "i need to do my laundry," i have difficulty with the task initiation there. so what i do instead of "starting" at the shoving clothes into the washing machine part, i'll go into my room and make sure i've picked up all the dirty clothes and sorted them out. check my bathroom for towels and washcloths. sort them away. now i'm standing in front of my dirty laundry, and i'm "doing laundry," so it's easier to pick up one of the organizer bags and take it into the laundry room. i went backwards down the line and found a place in the task list where i could begin without the hassle, then i basically tricked myself into continuing past the point where i was having trouble.

BREAK UP THE TASK. this one is good if you feel like you're looking at a mountain and it's so overwhelming you just. don't do the thing. you'll hear it a lot: "just break it up into smaller tasks!" but. what the fuck does that actually mean? what does it look like? it's going to depend on You, but let's look at our plate example. so we just walked by the plate and we know we need to put it into the dishwasher. well. let me start by looking at the plate. can i do that? can i pick it up? let's say the answer is no. well, why? maybe i'm so stressed from work that this is just one too many things on my, haha, plate right now. okay. maybe don't worry about this right now, then. or maybe i'm having trouble because i know that the dishwasher is full of clean dishes, so it's not really as simple as "put the plate in the dishwasher." so, bring the plate into the kitchen. put it on the counter. maybe that's enough for now. or maybe i can open the dishwasher. look inside. it's full, and i don't really have the energy to unload it right now. ...or maybe i do, but i'm just looking at this huge thing that feels too big. maybe i can put away one plate. okay. that wasn't so bad. maybe i can put away all the plates. plates are easy. my trick is i take all the clean dishes OUT of the dishwasher and put them on my kitchen island without worrying about putting them away yet. then i load the dirty things into the dishwasher. well now i turn around and i have all the clean dishes pilled up nicely here. momentum really is everything. one task leads to two leads to five leads to done.

TASK BUNDLING. this is useful if you're trying to be more consistent about something and you already have something else you do consistently. for example, i have dogs. every night around six pm, i feed them supper. now, historically, i've had problems with remembering to eat/feeling like cooking when i wasn't hungry/being hungry but having trouble cooking. i don't need to tell you how unhealthy that is, hahaha. so what i did is i bundled my supper together with their supper. they will eat every night. they will Not forget to remind me that they want to eat. i make their supper every day. so i make their supper, feed it to them, and bam! i'm in the kitchen. preparing food already. so it's really easy for me to keep going and prepare My food. let's say you want to drink more water. every time you open tumblr, bundle together the task of checking to make sure you have a glass of water with you, and take a sip. let's say you want to take a vitamin. keep the bottle by your toothbrush. and get weird with it! don't let social norms hold you back. i have a toothbrush in my shower. i have medicine on the bookshelf next to where i play video games. these aren't the "usual" places for things, but they Work for ME. find the places that work for you, and bundle things together. you'll be a lot more likely to do them if they're tied to something else.

BODY DOUBLING. this one is HUGE. i've actually infected my neurotypical friends in discord with this one, it's so powerful, hehehe. basically, you externalize the executive function. there are a couple of ways to do this. if you want to do something, ask someone to be in the room with you. they don't have to be doing the same thing, or anything, really. but having another Person there (another BODY, if you will) will make it so you can do the thing. you can also do this over discord. for example, my friends and i will open up a voice chat, and we'll be doing things. i'll be writing, khaya will be drawing, yorsh will be writing or drawing, keisha will be writing or drawing... and because we're all there together, we're super productive! it smashes through that brick wall a bit. there is a whole genre of youtube videos i LOVE that target this thing. find "study with me" type videos where you have someone doing homework or something, maybe they have rain, or lofi music, or just the ambient noises of a coffee shop; whatever you find most helpful. i actually body double with a little fox timer i have on my desk. i turn him on for an hour, and since he's "working," it's really easy for me to be like "ok i gotta work too." silly? yes. does it work? yes!

BULLET JOURNAL/APPS. i don't mean the pinterest pretty things where you end up spending way too much time on making a pretty spread. i mean the actual basic bullet journal that the original creator developed because he has adhd and needed something to keep his shit straight. i did this for a while, and i found it somewhat useful? eventually i found more success with the app TickTick, which is so good for me keeping my tasks straight and accounted for, i pay for the premium bc fuck yeah. if you're the kind of person motivated by streaks (think, like, doing something because you don't want to break a streak. i am very much this person.) then i've gotten a lot of good mileage out of the Today app. i don't use it much anymore, but it's very good if that's a motivating thing for you.

WEAPONIZE ANNOYANCE. i do this one a lot. i have certain things that annoy me a lot. like, being wasteful with water really annoys me. so that means i don't like to wash laundry more than once. which means, if i put something in the washing machine, i WILL move it into the dryer. so if i can put my laundry into the washing machine and get it started, i have defeated the demon of moving it into the dryer by weaponizing my own irritation against myself. same thing with gritty bathroom floors. my cat's litterbox is in my bathroom. i Really hate stepping out of the shower and feeling litter under my feet. so i'm pretty meticulous about keeping the bathroom floor clean, even though sometimes i have a moment of executive dysfunction about vacuuming every day, because whenever i hit that brick wall i think. ok. well. we can look at this brick wall that's here. now think about the sensation of stepping out onto cat litter out of the shower. aofjalsfjadlskfjslakfjsalkfj. and that's enough for me to reach for the vacuum. so you can use your preferences against your weaknesses, especially if they're things that you're Very particular about.

RECONTEXTUALIZE. my therapist will sometimes stop me and say "you are should-ing all over yourself." and this is when i'm saying things like "i should x" or "i should y." i should be able to put away this plate in the dishwasher. i did it yesterday! i should be able to do it today! the moment you catch yourself thinking these things, stop. think about it differently. instead of "i should be able to put this plate away," think "i want to be able to put this plate away." now you can say. well. why do i want to put the plate away? because it's dirty, and dirty dishes will attract bugs. i don't want bugs. i want my room to be clean and smell nice. i want to enjoy being in here. now, instead of a chore that needs to be done, you can think about it as a positive thing you're doing. sometimes this is enough to get around that wall.

now. you've asked me about writing specifically, which is. kind of a special beast for me. you said it seems like i have a compulsion to do it—and it really does kind of feel that way. if i go too long without writing, i feel uncomfortable. antsy. like i'm not doing what i need to be doing in order to be Me. as such, it's usually not that difficult for me to convince myself to write. if i start seeing a brick wall about it, i can go "...but... think about the COOL SHIT that's about to happen in symphony!!" and i'll go "OH YEAH" and break right the fuck through that brick wall kool-aid style.

that said. i do experience executive dysfunction with my writing. there are days when i want to write, i have the scene in my head, i have the time, i'm in my special writing place, and i sit down and—and i can't do it. i can't write. i keep clicking into tumblr. i close tumblr on my computer then pick up my phone. i watch youtube videos. it's like no matter what i do, i can Not focus on writing. even though i am screaming and rattling at the cages because i want to!!! i want to write!!! i want to do nothing MORE than write!!!!

often, one of the tricks above will work for me since i've learned how to use them over the years, and i have practice tricking myself. i find particular success with the body doubling in particular for writing. but some days, it just. Doesn't Happen. and here is the ultimate truth that i will bestow upon you:

it's okay if you don't do the thing.

so you don't pick up that plate today, and tomorrow you have two. so you don't do your laundry, so you have to do it tomorrow. so you miss a meal. you go a day without writing. it's okay. as long as you're safe and healthy, it's okay. tomorrow is another day for you to try and do the thing.

stressing out about how much you want to do the thing is counterproductive. you're just going to make yourself ill doing that, and then you'll be less capable of doing things. just... chill. relax. breathe. do what you can. try the tips i gave, look for some more and see if those work, and if they don't... all right. it just isn't meant to happen today. no big deal. do something else today. maybe you don't pick up that plate... but you do fold that laundry that was giving you a brick wall a few days ago. maybe you don't write that fic today... but you do read that book you've been putting off, and now you have a new favorite author you want to pick apart and study. life is short, and precious. don't should on yourself.

[shewritesfics]

Word Vomit

Pairing: Charlie/Reader

Warnings: Alcohol, drug use, slight panic.

Summary: You and Charlie have been friends for a long time, but his worrying finally gets you to confess.

Word Count: 2.9k

Notes: Heyo! I hope you all enjoy this! Can someone pls tell me how to collapse a fic so it doesn't take up the whole hashtag, idk why but that shit bothers me. Lmk what you think! <3 Edit: Guys I fucking figured it out.

Okay, you would be the first to admit, that maybe you had a problem. But, hey, admitting is the first step!

The whole gang had past addictions as well, it’s not like they were any saint compared to you. From glue huffing, crack, and coke, to alcohol. So compared to all of those combined, you were good! They were oblivious anyway, always too fixated on what was happening inside the group to be mindful of outsiders. So, until anyone else saw it was a problem, you were in the clear.

You walk into the bar, and everyone is already screaming at each other to notice, besides Charlie. You quickly tuck into the bathroom, locking it behind you and pulling out your baggie. It’s full, you just picked it up before heading to the bar. You sigh, but a smile graces your face as you pour some lines out. Sniffing them up quickly, you check your face in the mirror before heading out. Charlie excuses himself unbeknownst to the gang and hops right on over to you, cheekily sliding past you to get behind the bar, touching your back lightly.

“Hey hey hey!” He cheers happily. “What can I get for you?” He smiles giddily at you.

You wave him off lightly, “Since you’re not technically a bartender, I’ll make it easy and just take a beer.” Flashing a smile at him and starting to grab some cash from your wallet.

He pops off the cap with ease and slides it over, rejecting your hand with the money and smiling at you.

“It’s on me.” He bows slightly and grabs himself a beer.

“It’s always on you.” You laugh back and take a sip, enjoying the cool it brings to your throat.

“That’s the Charlie special.” He winks at you. A blush comes over your face, he doesn’t know he’s flirting and that’s not his fault. Too infatuated with the waitress to give any person another thought. It was hard, a one-sided crush on someone like him.

He bashed rats! He went into the sewer naked for fun! He slept in a bed with another man and played nighttime games with him! Digging through the trash to find any secret treasure. He drinks paint. He eats stickers. He doesn’t brush his teeth for god’s sake, and you wanted him. Wholeheartedly. You’ve seen the devotion he gives to the waitress, who doesn’t even give him a second thought. Charlie deserves more. He would worship her if given the chance. You’re not jealous per se, but you can have a crush. Charlie is just so intoxicating to be around. So charismatic and happy. He’s ready for anything at the drop of a hat, he may dispute and argue, but he’ll always give in. He’s the wild card, unabashedly unashamed.

He waves his hand in front of you, taking you out of your daze and a blush of embarrassment quickly rages your face.

“Whatcha dreaming about?” He asks a brow quirked and a shy smile on his face.

“Oh! Uh- just uhm hungry.” It wasn’t technically a lie.

“You want me to take you somewhere?” He perks up instantly. Of course, he would, he loves going out to eat. And for free!

You sigh lightly, chugging your beer quickly. “Sure, let’s do it.” Alone time with Charlie never hurt anyone.

“Great! Let’s go to this coffee shop I know…” He trails off, thinking of the waitress. You inwardly groan and roll your eyes.

“Can we go to someplace else?” You try to ask without ground teeth. Charlie deflates, if he was a dog his ears would’ve turned down. You frown, but overall it would be better for you. He mumbles out a quick yes, before grabbing his coat. You excuse yourself to the bathroom quickly and he quirks a brow at you. You give him a pressed smile. Just a few more lines, and then maybe you’ll be done for the night.

You walk out of the bathroom, giddy as can be. Thoughts are running through your mind, and you want to talk away. Charlie notices a pep in your step, he assumes you're just happy for a meal.

The walk there is quick. It’s sunny out and there’s a slight chill in the air. The tip of your nose is tinged pink, probably from the drugs but maybe it’s the air. Charlie is rambling on about something and all you can do is watch him. How he talks with his hands, his facial expressions changing with the story. You’ve noticed that sometimes when he gets a big smile, his ears raise slightly as well. You’re just smiling dumbly at him. Any outsider could see it. You’re sick with love.

At the restaurant, you both order drinks, something frilly and fruity for you, and Charlie just orders a beer, though he’s jealous of your cocktail. You drink it quickly, trying to mask your face when the runs start happening in your throat. Your nose is runny and you’ve been clearing your throat a lot.

“Hey man, are you- like sick or something?” Charlie squints at you, leaning back in the booth. You tense up lightly, finishing the drink and pushing it away from you.

“Uh- no- not that I know off. It could be allergies, you know pollen and stuff.” You wave your hand as if to show pollen flowing through the air. His eyebrows raise and he nods in understanding.

“Yeah, dude, that shit fucks with people.” He shakes his head and finishes his beer. You don’t know how much he’s had to drink today, but you’re hoping to be shitfaced by the end of the night. Sure, it would be easier to drink at Paddy’s, but fruity cocktails are so easy to get down. If you can afford that much coke, you can afford a few cocktails at happy hour.

Charlie is trying to read the menu. Complaining about how there are no pictures that he can look at. You chuckle at him.

“Charlie, I’ll order for you. There’s a meat and cheese platter.” A huge smile overcomes his face, his eyes crinkle and you laugh.

“Dude, you’re just- the best, man.” He shakes his head and smiles brightly. You blush and avoid his eye. “How come you always do that?” He asks quickly.

“Do what?” You ask, confused.

“You just never look at me after I say stuff like that.” He shrugs and starts fiddling with his fingers. His brows pinched together as he focused on the skin around his nails. Your posture gets a bit straighter, and you look at anything but him. Charlie isn’t the smartest person on the planet, but fuck, he is so oblivious when a girl is into him. It’s charming really, he’s just authentically himself all the time. He never shows off unless it’s the waitress. Of course, he’s cocky when it comes to the group, but he never falters.

“It’s nothing.” You turn down his questioning. He backs off when the waiter comes over and you order, getting another drink for yourself while he’s there.

The food is there in a flash and Charlie goes directly for the cheese. You smile and laugh, digging into your meal as well. Coke has an interesting effect on your appetite, but at least you can take it for leftovers if he doesn’t eat it as well. You nurse the drink while Charlie rambles about the cheese, among other things. You listen and nod when he’s looking for a reaction, giving small feedback when there’s a lull while he’s swallowing. It’s almost intimate. The two of you are alone at a dimly lit table, it feels like a date. You weren’t the only one who thought that.

The waiter comes back around with a small dessert and sets it on the table. He clears his throat, “Couples get a free dessert on us!” He smiles grandly and Charlie chokes lightly.

“Oh, man, yeah we’re not dating. Can we still have the dessert though?” He reaches for the plate and the waiter looks at you, quirking a brow. You’re face is flushed with embarrassment and you quickly shake your head no.

“Uh- no. Dessert is free only for couples.” The waiter also reaches for the plate before Charlie holds it away from him.

“Yeah, I mean, I get it man but you already put the plate down and said it was for us. So- I think it’s only right…” He trails off with his defense, it falls on deaf ears. You excuse yourself to the bathroom real quick, shuffling out of the seat and into the single restroom.

You stare at yourself in the mirror. Your hands are shaking lightly as you pour out a few more lines. Your eyes are wild and your face is flushed. His words ring throughout your head. Charlie didn’t mean it to be malicious, you knew that. He would never do anything to purposely hurt you, but fuck, did that sting. You run your hands through your hair, taking in deep breaths and shoving down the hurt that was bubbling in your throat. Exhaling and grabbing the rolled-up dollar bill, you snort it quickly, tilting your head back and breathing heavily. Plugging each nose and breathing in as hard as you can to avoid any leakage. You look at yourself one more time and quickly walk back to the booth.

Charlie is looking at you weirdly. To be fair, you did just run away. It’s been so long since you guys have been friends. It’s been so long that you’ve been holding all of your feelings in. It’s not fair. It’s not fair that this man gets to be delusion about his crush on the waitress when you have been waiting for him. You could love him. Listen to all of his stories, hold his hand when he starts getting nervous, and pick at his skin. Play and style his hair after a risky endeavor with the gang. You would clean his scratches and bandage them. Scratch his back before bed, and hold him closely and softly just before falling asleep. You would listen to his medleys and would hold him from behind, so when he sings softly it would vibrate throughout your body. You would be his warmth.

“Y/N, you good man?” He looks at you with his soft eyes.

“I’m sorry, Charlie, I just keep zoning out.” You dismiss him.

“It’s more than that.” He mutters. You look at him, tilting your head. “I don’t know- you do this thing, man. You just like- disappear all the time.” He shrugs. You scoff lightly and roll your eyes. “You can talk to me, ya know?” His hand comes up and rubs his neck. “You always listen to me…”

A frog is caught in your throat. Your heartbeat pounds in your ears. You look everywhere but him. Anywhere but him. You’ve planned this out so many different times in your mind. The way you would word your confession if what he did that day would preoccupy him more than your talking. It’s been a million in one scenario. His reaction differs each time, but you’ve never dreamt of one where he feels the same. Your yearning has bounds, and false happiness will always be one. Why is he asking all these questions today?

“Charlie…” He leans in after your voice drops. “Can we just go?” The receipt was on the table when you got back, you reach into your wallet and leave cash on the table. He nods and slides out of the booth, eyeing you as your jaw is tensed and you quickly walk out of the store. You’re thankful for the slight bite in the air, focusing on how the cool air fills your lungs. Charlie is in step beside you, playing with the inside of his pockets, biting the inside of his cheek. The silence is nice. You would never get tired of his voice, but you were so close to telling him everything. It’s terrifying.

You end up in the back alleyway of the bar, reaching for the door before Charlie steps in front of you, leaning on the door.

“Dude, what gives?” You ask and reach for the handle, but he’s firmly leaning against it, not budging in the slightest.

“You’re just being weird, man.” He shrugs and looks at you, a pleading look in his eye that drives a stake right through your heart.

You waver for a second. “It’s nothing, Charlie. Genuinely, it’s fine.” You avoid his gaze, he crosses his arms over his chest indicating that he’s not going to be moving for a while. A frustrated sigh comes out and your hand comes up to rub your temples. He shrugs and gives you a pressed look. “Why do you even care?” You ask a small bite in your tone.

“Cause you’re important to me, ya know? I- I like- just having you around…” His head tilts and his look softens. “I like you, dude.”

You scoff and shake your head, a small laugh falling from your lips. “Yeah, sure, you like me.”

“I do man. You’re just like- so cool dude.” His hands drop as he tries to explain something with his hands. “It’s just like- I dunno- my day just gets better when you’re around.” Your heart jumps, breathing falters before he continues. He takes in a deep breath. “Just a great-no-like awesome friend.”

Your heart sinks. Your stomach knots. Your hands shake.

Charlie's mouth is moving but no noise comes out. The only thing you hear is your panicked heartbeat. It vibrates throughout your whole body, making your knees buckle with each pulse. He notices your silence, though it’s somewhat usual, the air is thick. He sees how your jaw tenses and how a glazed look is on your face.

“…you good?” He stutters out. You laugh sharply, your hands coming up to your heated face and bringing a cooling sensation. You take a deep breath in, lips pressed together in a thin line. You clear your throat, not even sure what’s going to spill out of your mouth.

“Charlie.” Okay, starting strong! “It’s- I mean- you just- I’m so-” Fuck, dude. You shake your head in disbelief at the situation, hoping the blinking would somehow make it disappear. He’s watching you struggle with furrowed brows, which makes it even more frustrating, he must think this is so fucking weird. “I just…” You trail off, taking in a deep breath, and locking eyes with him.

“I’m so in love with you.” You rush out. He stills. His hands fall to his sides and his eyebrows shoot up in surprise. Your heartbeat is through the fucking roof at this point, and your breathing is erratic. You can’t read his look, the information processing. You look away from him now, arms coming up to self-soothe. His mouth opens but you cut him off swiftly.

“And I know the waitress is your one true love or whatever, but she doesn’t even like you!” You state, exasperated. It’s harsh coming from you. “She doesn’t even care, Charlie.” Your tone falls flat. “She can go by every day without thinking about you, and god, sometimes I wish I could do the same. You haunt my thoughts like the ghouls you’re so sure of…” You laugh and look down. “It’s pathetic really, how often you drift through my mind. You know, the first time I came to Paddy’s I was just trying to use the bathroom, but you looked at me. God, the way you looked at me. The smile on your face when I waved, my heart stopped beating. I only stayed cause I had to talk to you, fuck, I needed to hear your voice. The bar is so scary too, but I just needed to be around you. I craved the feeling of your eyes on me and how you would always stop whatever you were doing just to say hi. You have an awful beer selection that I don’t even like, but when you serve it, it tastes like liquid gold! And the way you tell stories gets me so entrapped, how you’re so passionate-”

His hand is holding your cheek, lifting it to look at him. Your eyes are hot and glazed, tears threatening to spill over. His look is soft, his touch is warm but you can feel the callouses against your cheek. God, he’s holding you so softly, like you're fragile. His other hand rests on the back of your arm, thumb stroking softly. Your breath is stuck in your throat, shock is evident on your features.

“God, Charlie.” You laugh as tears crawl down your cheek. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I said all”

His lips are on yours. His lips are on yours.

You close your eyes and your hand cups his face, his lips are so warm, and so soft compared to what you dreamed about. His facial hair tickles you softly, which is oddly endearing. He’s pulling you close, holding you as if you’d crumble, you fear you might if he lets go.

The kiss ends sooner than you’d like, his face is unreadable besides the small smile that graces his lips. You bet your eyes are wild, your skin is covered in goosebumps by this point.

“But- the waitress-” You try to reason with him.

“Doesn’t matter.” His voice is firm. “Nothing matters if I have you.”

Nothing matters if I have you.

[v88sy]

I am 99% sure this came from Oliver, based on the interview he did. He wants to use Buck being bi as an excuse to let Buck fuck around, he wasn't interested in telling a queer love story. At least not now. Bucktommy was in the way of #LetBuckFuck 🙄

I feel dumb for trusting him to do bi storytelling justice, to be honest. Straight men will be straight.

See, I don't get that. Buck had his "fuck around and don't find out" era. That wouldn't be anything new for exciting and in fact, a regression.

And, if he truly wasn't a fan of the storyline with Tommy, why put so much effort into it? Why not go for the easy route before Tommy became a character we were rooting for?

And yeah, I do not like that line from Oliver in the interview, especially considering it was a hashtag most likely developed by the other side (ooooooookkkk so I just went back to the interview again and that was legit hashtag Oliver made up and was always texting Tim. So.) so that they can have their ship instead, completely ignoring that it's biphobic, and that if Buck were to get with Eddie now, he would be Eddie's first male romance. Soooo...seems like we're back at square one with Eddie, no?

I'm not saying it was the right thing for Oliver to say, but I don't think he was trying to be malicious with it, I think he was just commenting on something that was said to him, and to be fair, we don't know his sexuality, nor should we unless that's something he wants to talk about.