#first of all it's my fucking account and I can post what I want

[tonysbed]

Secrets I keep | Part 16

Max Fewtrell x norris!reader

summary: You and Max have been dancing around your feelings for years but jealousy gets the best of us all..

warnings: again, the internet is cruel. Max gets into his head, mental health issues?? self doubt, crying, mention of cheating

not proofread

series masterlist | previous | next

-

“Alright, I’m leaving then! I’ll see you in a few days” You say, coming trough the door into the living room, where max was sitting on the couch. It had been a few good weeks since the whole incident and you were both cooled down from the drama.

Lando hadn’t really come to his senses, but you unblocked him. Your dad had a talk with him, that resulted in nothing.

“Alright. Be careful and text me” He gets up from his place and hugs you, kissing the top of your head “I will, don’t worry” You kiss him and smile “I gotta go now before I miss my flight or something!”

You look at your phone “And they’re here! Okay, gotta go. Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone! I love you” “Won’t do, I love you too” Max watches you leave the apartment with a suitcase, and sighs.

He still hadn’t voiced his concerns about Franco. Not to think wrong, franco was a super nice bloke but he was flirty and you two just got along a little to well for his liking.

But how would you know? You only had eyes for max, franco was not interesting for you. But that is something that Max has to get in his head first..

-

You slid into the backseat. Kika turned around to look at you “Ready?” You smile “A tour through the headquarters of tractors? Sure!” Pierre glared at you through the mirror “Do you want to walk?” He grumbled “Pierre!” Kika slapped his arm “What? She said I’m driving a tractor!”

Kika rolled her eyes smiling and pierre dropped it.

-

norris.yn

liked by franciscagomez, pierregasly, maxfewtrell and 36 others

norris.yn she’s everything and he’s… there

pierregasly why am I always catching strays

franciscagomez 🙂‍↕️😘

alexandrasaintmleux 😂😂

charlesleclerc oh pierre 🤦‍♂️

maxfewtrell always tired 😂

pierregasly of your girlfriend? Always

franciscagomez Pierre.

pierregasly What? She’s always stealing you

norris.yn she deserves more than you

pierregasly see??

maxfewtrell I choose peace and ignore it.

-

You three arrived at the Alpine headquarters and as you neared the entrance you saw a figure enthusiastically talk with Paul, who just looked like he was being tortured.

As you got closer, Paul spotted you three and sighed in relief “Thank god. Now he can talk your ear off. I really like you Franco, but it’s to fucking early” Paul says, yawning.

You chuckle as Franco huffed “Mean” He crossed his arms but smiled at you “You’re alive! You weren’t at the paddock, your brother acts as if you aren’t his sister and you don’t post anymore!” He throws his arms up in the air.

“Have you seen what happened?” You chuckled “Yeah I know” “Don’t you follow her on here new account?” Pierre asked “Uh..new account?” Franco looks puzzled at the frenchman and then at you.

“Yeah, I made one just for friends, no strangers, no privacy invasion, just us” You say smiling. Franco nods, pulls out his phone and hands it to you.

You type in his code, which kika raised an eyebrow at and request your account from his. You hand it back to him and accept the request.

“Ah, yes you have been alive!” He laughs. You nod and laugh. Pierre and Kika start to make their way inside, and you two follow them.

-

norris.yn

liked by pierregasly, kellypiquet, francocolapinto and 46 others

norris.yn @/ jackdoohan, pls get better soon, they’re crazy

jackdoohan I will try my best 😂

norris.yn pls hurry up 😭😂

franciscagomez we’re not that bad 🤔

pierregasly …

paulaaron you love us, really

francocolapinto now why would you post this? my my

norris.yn you’ll live

-

max grimaced at his phone. This is exactly what he feared could happen. But before he could continue his thought train, another notification popped up on his phone.

It was a gossip page that had tagged him. That was never good but he clicked on it, and immediately regretted it.

-

f1gossip

f1gossip Franco Colapinto was spotten near the Alpine Headquarters with Yn Norris. Mclarens number one drivers sister. Has she moved on from her boyfriend Max Fewtrell?

user oh my god. She’s disgusting

user what a bitch

user max isn’t even allowed to be mad, he did the same

user are we gonna ignore that Pierre, Paul and Kika were also with them??

user 🤢

user franco noooo

-

-

You sigh as you put the phone down. Kika tilts her head at you “What did he say?” “He’s being weird” Franco raised an eyebrow “About me? I swear, I know you guys are a thing! I don’t want anything from you” Franco raised his hands in surrender.

You chuckle “I know that. Something tells me tho that this is not based on todays events.” You look at Kika with a knowing look. She presses her lips together.

“Do we have to understand this?” Pierre asked confused “Are you a woman?” She asked him with an raised eyebrow “No?” “Then you won’t get it.”

“I’ll guess it’s an early leave for me” You sigh “Nooo, can’t he be weird alone for a few more days?” Paul pouts “I’d rather resolve this as soon as possible. I know how much Max can get into his own head because of the media. I’ve seen it with him, and i’ve seen it with Lando. I know what It does to people”

“Especially something like this” Pierre says, his voice now serious but calm. Kika nods “Of that is what you think is better for the two of you, that’s okay. We can do this another time. Maybe even bring max that time” Kika says, Pierre nodding along “Definitely”

You smile “Thanks guys. I guess I’ll see what flight will get me back the fastest” You pull out your phone again “Is he in monaco again?” Kika chuckled “Yep. He’s at my apartment” She nods “Obviously.”

-

While you were planning your trip home, Max was laying in your bed. His eyes fixed on the side you claimed as yours the first time he had officially slept over as your boyfriend.

He smiled a bit at the memory, which was quickly soured away by the pictures of you and franco flashing in his mind. He knew you would never do such things, he knew that Kika, Pierre and Paul had been there but in moments like these, his mind wasn’t quiet.

It screamed at him. Screamed he’d get hurt again, or more by the one person that could actually hurt him deeply.

He shakes his head. You wouldn’t.

Are you sure? You’re not even a racing driver.

She loves me for me.

does she now? why would you be enough

Max sat up and got up to go into the bathroom. He looked into the reflection of the big mirror. His eyes were red from crying, but not too bad that he couldn’t pass it off as sleepiness.

He splashed water in his face and sighed. His mind was playing tricks on him that only you could outplay. You were outplaying tricks you didn’t even know about.

He let his head hang and sighed again.

He turned off the light and made his way to the kitchen for a glass of water. In moments like these, he would’ve called lando. Something he had also cost her.

She would’ve never argued about Daniel with Lando if it wasn’t for him. It was all his fault.

-

It was later in the day when you had finally arrived back in monaco. You sighed as you pulled out your keys but before you could put the keys in, the door swung open.

Max looked backwards into the apartment, his suitcase in hand. He closed the door and finally turned around to look at you.

you both stare at each other for a moment. You look between his suitcase and him “Uhm..where you leaving?” You ask confused.

“I..uh” Max didn’t know what to say. He hadn’t expected you back so soon. What in christs name-

“Why are you back already?” “That doesn’t matter right now. Did something happen?” Max’s jaw clenched and he looked away.

A knot forms in your stomach “Please don’t tell me this is about the Franco thing” You say quietly. Max still doesn’t meet your eyes. You abandon your suitcase for a moment and unlock the door.

You point for him to go back inside. Before he could protest, you shake your head “We’re talking about this. Inside. With your suitcase.”

-

You sat down on the couch, turned to Max, while he was faced forward, hands fidgeting.

“Max, please talk to me about this. I already told you, I would never..Franco isn’t..He doesn’t even fit into my life” You say, still looking at him.

“I know” He says quietly “Well apparently you don’t. You wanted to leave why exactly? To tell me what? You didn’t call, you didn’t text” His head turns to the kitchen.

You can see the island from the couch. There is a vase of your favourite flowers and a letter perched up against.

“I knew you would try to stop me” He says quietly. Now he had made you speechless. You look at him in shock.

“You..so” You take a deep breath “So this is it?” You ask, not entirely sure what you’re even saying. Max finally looks at you. He doesn’t say anything but his eyes told you everything you needed to know.

You clenched your jaw “why?” You whisper, biting back tears. Max weighs his options. You would try to convince him to stay, when he would tell you the truth. But he would only hurt you further.

His mind kept screaming to go, his heart was aching, and crying out your name, longing for your love. He knew you’d be better off without him. He had to go.

“You wouldn’t understand” “Then make me understand. Let me try to fix this! Us!”

“There is no us. Not anymore. There should’ve never been an us”

The words lie heavy in the room. You stare at him. You can only watch as he gets up, takes his suitcase and takes one last look at you.

This is it, she’ll be free of you.

-

Alexandra could barely understand what you were saying over the phone as she rushed out the door, Charles closely behind, having to drive her over to you.

She tried to calm you down, with no success. The only thing she understood was “Franco, Max, broke up” And the last one was what made her stomach turn.

-

She opened your door with her spare key, rushing inside, finding you curled up on the couch.

“Hey, hey.” She took you into her arms. Her arms tighten around you as your sobs got heavier and more pained. Charles looks worried, wording the name ‘Kelly’. Alex nods, hoping Kelly would get more out of you, knowing you two knew each other longer.

Kelly arrived sooner than Alex expected, and Charles left, telling Alex to call if she needed anything.

-

alexandrasaintmleux added to their story

[cap: @/kellypiquet our new master chef 👩‍🍳 🍝❤️

reply’s:

charlesleclerc how is she holding up?

she’s okay for now. Calmed her down but his story doesn’t make sense. It’s quite confusing and just really out of the blue.

charlesleclerc hm..you want me to play detective?

pls do

charlesleclerc no problem mom amor❤️

❤️

user isn’t that yn’s kitchen??

-

so uhm.. yeah. Here’s a good handful of angst and Max’s head full of chaos 😬 Ups

Happy Valentine or whatever

[ziminy]

If you love me tonight

You moved in with Toji out of convenience, however, you two started to get along way too good, it's getting suspicious

Tags: smut, minors and ageless blogs do not interact, f!reader, college au, friends with benefits, roommates, oral (f!receiving) (lots of it), both of you have a crush on each other, fingering, virginity loss, humping, bad language, phone sex, basically just me writing this with my inexistent dick, not proofread

Author's note: happy valentine to all my girlies out there. I can't be there to make your day better but hope this fic will 😘

Author's note: I was going to post this sooner but I was out the whole day and didn't got the time to.

Masterlist roommatesmasterlist

You were in the same friend group, because somehow, out of nowhere, you were dragged into this group of dorks one day while walking around the school. And now you're stuck with them. Even so, you and Toji never really talked.

Yes you do have each other's numbers, yes you follow every single one of his social media accounts and he followed yours. And yes, you were seeing each other every single day. But you never really had the balls to talk to him.

It was something about him that made you feel intimidated. The whole group had you like that for the first two weeks since they adopted you, but you got over it after one night of partying too hard, almost puking in Satoru's car while he was taking you home. Waking up the next day with the whole gang in your place, scattered all over your room and sleeping like they didn't had other places to be.

You realized that they're idiots, every single one of them. It didn't matter how scary Sukuna looked with his tattoos and his shitty attitude, because deep down he was just a dumbass who was awkward at making jokes. He was so bad at them that the first few times you actually took his words seriously.

Or the trio, Gojo, Geto and Shoko who were just them. You don't really have anything to say about them since you see them so much you feel like the forth wheel to their tricycle.

The only normal person in that group was Nanami, but even he could lose control over himself. Like when he's drunk. How can you forget about the time you managed to steal his watch right from his wrist because he fell asleep while talking. You gave it back, but you still think about it from time to time and you still can't believe it how much he changes.

And you can't forget about Choso who when you first met him you thought he was going to drink your blood because he was dresses like a vampire lord. He looked so edgy, how could you have known that he cries while watching princess movies. Which, you're still surprised about it and you promised not to talk about it ever again. For his own good.

Now, it's not like you don't want to get close to Toji, it's just that unlike the others, he was the same as when you first met him. The same charismatic smile on, the same fuck ass attitude and how he seems to keep everybody at a relatively close distance. He was open about everything, but at the same time he looked like he was always lying. And you didn't know if you should take him seriously or pass it as a joke.

You were scared, and maybe it was from the way he posses, the way he dresses and talks. He wasn't trying to impress anybody, and it made you wander how he ended up in the group. Because he always seems to want to pick fights from the way he interacts with others.

That scar of his, you know it was rude to stare, but you just could not stop. It made your eyes instantly move on him when he opens his mouth, because it was something about the way his lips moves, and that shit eating grin. He was bad and he knows it, that's perhaps what made you afraid of him.

"Y/N, what happened?" it was a rainy night when the white haired man opened his door, revealing you who was soaked from head to toes, still in pijamas and a bag with what he could only guess were the essentials in your arms.

"I got in a fight with my roommates. Can I come in?" you said like you didn't just ran from home.

"What happened this time?" he knew your situation wasn't really bright but he didn't thought it was that bad.

"I don't know. Just woke up with them screaming at me. Women, what can I say." you shrugged, not understanding what got into them either. "Anyway, can I sleep here tonight?"

"Of course. Go take a bath, we'll talk about this after." you didn't thought much when you opened the front door, just running to the closest person that lives near to you. It was moments like these where you're glad you didn't blocked Gojo the first time he tried to get in your dms.

"So, what happened?" Shoko asked, looking at you who just got out the shower. Satoru was exaggerating, he shouldn't have called the whole group there.

"My roommates wants me out the house." not really surprising from the way they kept acting for the past few weeks.

"You should move out. Those girls are out of control." the blonde said, looking like he was dragged out of bed to be there, still in pijamas. But it wasn't surprising that he rushed there when he heard your name being involved.

"I agree. This is going nowhere." Suguru was right, your situation only escalated with each day that passed.

"Want me to get rid of them?" omg, Sukuna shut up.

"So, again. What happened this time?" at least Shoko was the normal one in there.

"They want to get their boyfriends in or something. But there's not enough space because of me apparently." maybe it was your fault too for not trying to get to know your roommates. But you can't blame yourself since they're attitudes turned you off.

"We'll find a new place, don't worry." you hoped so too.

"Daddy will pay for it. I'll get you an apartment in the same building as me." the white haired man said, making you shake your head instantly. You'll never be able to financially recover from this if he does that.

"I want a small place, just a room is alright if I can sleep in peace." it wasn't just about you here. I mean, sure, your opinion counts, but how can a room be enough for everybody? If you get a place it wasn't just yours, it belonged to the whole group somehow. Because what does privacy even means when you have such a big group of friends.

And so, from the moment the sun came out the next day, everybody started looking for a place cozy enough to fit your imagine, a home that you could call your own with a smile on your face. And big enough to not look like a doll house.

Everybody was on their own, because why working together when you can work individually and get the thing done even faster? However, you didn't expected Toji to approach you when you were at school, hands in his pocket and looking just as nonchalantly as ever. Does he ever get bored of wearing just black clothes?

"Heard you're looking for a place." not a hi, how are you. He just got straight to the subject. Well, he wasn't good at small talk to begin with, and because of that he often comes out as rude.

"Oh, yeah. I am." you nodded, looking at the big man who seems to have been working out more lately.

"Me too." really? You had no idea. "Looking for a roommate or something? We could share the rent." i mean, it didn't sounded bad. That way you had more options to chose from, since you won't be living alone.

"Sure. Why not." that was surprisingly easy. He thought you would say no or something about how you'll think about it. But if you're being honest, you don't think you could live alone. You're always surrounded by people. At home and here, you're never alone, and you have no idea what to if you're by yourself.

And now, you had to let others know about it. But if you're thinking about this, you don't think you can do it. I mean, you know that they'll exaggerate. How could you accepted someone's else help when they're trying so hard. But to your surprise, this wasn't as hard as you thought.

Everybody accepted your choice without a single complain. So what if you're moving in with a guy, they knew him. After all, Toji was one of their idiots, and everybody knew how he was so busy that he's rarely home to begin with. There's nothing to be afraid because they all knew where he lived if he dared to get too close to you. After all, you were such a sweetheart, how could they let anyone harm you in any way possible?

And now they had a new task. Find a better place for you to stay at, and make Toji pay more than 70% of the rent, because how dare he ask for you to move with him and make you pay 50/50. But the dark haired man was quicker than the rest, texting you before anyone else could about this place that he found near your college, and if you wanna go and see it.

Hell yeah. You spend no time and went there as soon as you could, now being in front of a nicely looking building. Somehow, you were surprised by how good it was looking, sure, it wasn't anything fancy, it didn't look expensive and over your budget, you're just surprised to see that it's well taken care of. You're standards were already low, plus he managed to find this place in such a short time. It was normal to be surprised.

How can you forget that Toji was part of the group too. Everybody had connections, you wouldn't be surprised if they're actually in some kind of underground organization and they took you in just to look more innocent.

But man, he knew what he was doing. The whole place looked so nice.

The apartment was on the second floor, being welcomed by a small hallway with a built in closet where you could store jackets and shoes. And after opening one more door, you were now in the living room that was shared with an open kitchen, a not so big couch in the middle of the room and two doors next to each other somewhere behind it. Those must be the bedrooms. But now that you're looking around, there were actually three doors, a small bathroom in the corner that had a pretty big bathtub. You're surprised it even fits in there.

And there even was a balcony, you couldn't fit more than two chairs in total but still. You now had a balcony.

"What do you think?" he asked, looking at you as he was waiting for your answer. He had to make a few phone calls to get this place, but it was better than to wait for those fuckers to do something.

"When can we move in?" by the end of the week you were already in there.

But you couldn't just spend the first day in there all alone, after all, it was an important date. The whole group had to be there, now inspecting the place like they're about to buy it.

"I don't like it. The bathroom it's too small." Sukuna said, trying to convince you to move to the place he chose.

"It's not too late to move in the same building as me. I found a three bedroom, two bathroom apartment on the third floor. I couldn't fine anything smaller than that." Satoru too was trying to convince you.

"I talked to my old landlady and she said you can move in whenever you want." even Nanami was trying to convince you to move out.

"Is this your bedroom?" everybody's eyes were on Choso.

"Me first." the white haired man ran there, jumping in your bed and being welcomed with a loud bang.

He broke your bed, he really just broke your bed.

"I was gonna sleep there." Shoko looked at the bed that was half on the floor and half still standing.

"Damn." nobody expected this to happen. "You're paying for this." your roommate said, not wanting to pay a single buck for something he didn't do.

Well, guess that now the plan changed. Originally everybody wanted to sleep over in case you didn't adjusted to the new place, but now they went home. Leaving you alone with your new roommate.

"Where are you sleeping tonight?" you asked, looking at him getting out the kitchen with a bottle of water in his hand.

"In my room." then what about you? "Do I look like I fit on the couch?" and who's fault was it that he was so buffed?

"Good night.." you looked at him walking towards a door, opening it and leaving as wide as it could.

"This place is pretty bring even at night." you could see that.

Did he left the door open so you won't feel alone? He was surprisingly considerate. Well, you can't say that you're sacred of the dark or of the loneliness the night gives. You were surrounded by people who cared for you, it's not like you could simply just be afraid.

The next day you woke up with your back hurting, and someone at your door. Apparently, Gojo just got you a new bed so you won't be mad at him for what he did. A hard wood bed a lot bigger than the last one, taking more space of your room, but comfortable.

"At least he's good at something." your roommate said after the men that brought the furniture left.

"I'm surprised the bed broke from that much." the furniture was old and it needed to be changed at some points, but he wasn't going to tell you that. He might bring Gojo there more often, and who knows, he might as well refurnish whole house.

"Who knows." he shrugged.

"Are you free later?"

"Why?"

"I was going to buy a few things, just the essentials since we don't really have much." he shouldn't get more involved or he'll wake up with a hit man aiming for his head.

"I'm busy." he noticed the pout on your face right away. "Buy whatever you want." it's not like he haves a saying in this anyway.

"What if you won't like it?" he will like it or he won't be able to see the light of tomorrow.

"I'm fine with whatever." he said, but you still couldn't help but overthink a little.

"So he's giving you an attitude?" Shoko raised an eyebrow, walking around the store with you since you didn't wanted to go alone.

"I wouldn't call it an attitude since that's how he usually is." you said, looking at towels to buy.

"Put a hand here, behind his head, and one under his chin, move them in whatever direction you want and he'll be gone in the blink of an eye." you invited Suguru thinking that he'd be useful with caring your stuff for you. But he wasn't being useful at all.

"I'm not planning on killing anybody. Just needed your opinion on stuff. Is this bland enough or should I look for something even simpler?" you can't fill the house with everything you want, you have to think of other's opinions too.

"I like this one." Geto picked something with the brightest pink ever known to man. "Give this to Toji, I'm sure he'll like it." it hurts you own eyes, how are you supposed to give it to him.

"Go to the car. I'll call you when were done." Shoko tried to get him to leave. This was going nowhere. "If you're not sure about this then move in with me. I'm tired being around these clowns anyway."

"Clowns are the ones who aren't here with us." said Suguru.

"You still haven't left?" they're not going to fight in the middle of the store, are they?

You should have picked someone else for this task. It's impossible to get anything done with them here.

Well, maybe they're right. Think about yourself too. It's hard sharing a house, but that's how it is. You'll learn each other's tastes somewhere in the future, and then you can buy better stuff. You're not here to fill the house anyway, you're here to buy a few cups and towels, maybe get something on the side for yourself but that's pretty much it.

After a lot longer time than you expected, you finally got home.

How could you forget that you're not the only one living here, your friends also think of this place as their own. Of course they had to get a few stuff for themselves, to leave it in here so they could mark their territory.

Shoko reserved the balcony, smoking in there every time she gets the chance, and Suguru even chose his place on the couch, marking it with a heart shaped pillow just to piss the others off.

And the fridge, it wasn't just the things you like, there was all kind of alcohol and sweets bought by Satoru alongside other stuff that everybody enjoyed.

You were a bit concerned at first, but maybe this place wasn't that bad, especially since everybody seems to like it. I mean, you also liked it, but your friends opinions were also important. And your roommate it's somehow so considerate that you feel like you need to be doing more.

He looks and acts like a brute, but he's actually walking on thin ice. All the things he's doing at home are because your friends are making him to, and he's complying because it's not like he haves anything better to do.

Why he's acting like this is a mystery to him too. It's just.. you're you. The way everyone is all over you overwhelm him. He'd be lying if he says he's not curious, but again, he doesn't dare to do anything that out his power.

You do talk, I mean, it would be weird not to, since you live together. But it's always just the usual small talk. A hello here and there, did you eat, how was your day. And you're comfortable with your current relationship.

But soon everything was about to change.

It was a friday night, where you happened to be at home. Because why going out when you can relax in your bed for once?

You went into the kitchen, looking for some snacks, or something to drink during your movie. But while you were looking around you heard the front door, making you turn your head, waiting for who ever came.

It was your roommate, with a plastic bag in his hand, who somehow looked surprised to see you there. The others were all busy with something, so he thought you'd be out.

"Welcome back." you said, going back to your previous activity, back to your hunting.

"Yeah." he came into the kitchen, leaving the bag on the dining table along with his phone, now looking in his pockets for other stuff he's supposed to get out. "Heard Gojo is throwing another party tonight."

"He told me he's going to a party." you said, suddenly remember what the white haired man told you. "But it's always turning into his party, so I guess you're correct." every party that he attends it's suddenly his party, like he organized it.

"Same thing." he took some car keys out his pocket, making you raise an eyebrow. Since when does Toji haves a car?

"Ah." he looked at the metal piece with an expressionless face. "I was supposed to give this to Gojo before I left." no wander the keys looks familiar. "Whatever, he'll find someone to drive him home. No big deal." you let out a laugh, shaking your head and taking a bag of chips in your hands.

"You drink tea?" you asked, looking at the cans of ice tea he got out the bag.

"This is Suguru's." the dark haired man put them in the fridge. "I'm not dying to drink tea." you could recognize that brand anywhere, it was that bitter tea Suguru recently started drinking. Mostly to make Satoru stop drinking his stuff. "I like this instead." your roommate got a beer out. "Tea is for pussies."

"I like tea." you followed him with your eyes as he sat down at the small table that seemed like it was especially made for that kitchen. He didn't said anything for a moment, looking at you and then at the beer in his hand.

"Water, tea, the same thing." he clicked his tongue. "It's better than this." he raised his beer for a moment, shaking his head like he's disappointed with his choice of words.

"I want some too. Beer, I mean." you couldn't really pass his strange attitude as a joke.

"Do whatever you want." he sighed, taking a sip of his drink and trying to forget what he just said.

You sat down next to him, opening the bottle and taking a sip of it. "It taste as strange as I remember."

"You don't have to like it to just do it." he took another sip, turning his head towards the window and looking out of it.

"You're right." it went silent after that. Well, usually your conversations don't last this long. This was just one of those days where you're testing the boundaries, get a new record on the amount of words you said to each other. It's normal to be awkward, so it was alright. It was some improvement, so you can't say that this was a failure.

Suddenly, his phone started ringing, making both of you to turn your heads at it. He took the small metal box in his hand, looking at the screen with an annoyed face and then to respond.

"Yeah." he said nonchalantly, loud music could be heard from the other side of the phone, making your roommate move it away from his ear. "Your keys are with me." you couldn't help but laugh, suddenly remember about who's keys were on the table next to your hand. "No." he said and hanged up.

"Was it Satoru?" you asked, but you already knew the answer from the way he rolled his eyes, his shoulders dropping like some weight was lifted from them.

"Why would he leave his keys with me to begin with." your voice filled the room as you laughed. This is the first time you laughed to anything he said, and it took him by surprise because he wasn't expecting this.

"He does that." it went quiet again. But then, again, it didn't lasted for long. Because somehow, you wanted to talk more. Maybe it was the beer in your hand, or the atmosphere that gave you confidence to talk more. "Actually, I want to ask you something." his eyes was on you. "If you don't mind me asking."

"What is it?" he took a sip of his beer again, letting his back rest against the chair he's on.

"How did you ended friends with the others? I've been thinking about it for a while. It's a really strange group, so I can't help but be curious." you tried to come up with an explanation for your question, but you're not sure if you're sure of your own words.

"I was one time at this party." he said, trying to remember how it went. "Gojo was hosting it at his house, and somehow I got there. Don't really remember if I was trying to break in or was invited." he payed attention to your face, and at how you seemed so focused on him. "I stole a few stuff and I tried to sell it to this girl, at the same party. But turns out that she was doing the same thing as me, so perhaps I did, or perhaps not, threatened her, so she snitched on me."

"What happened after?" he thought you'd say that what he did was wrong, or try to lecture him about it. But no, you actually seemed invested.

"I snitched on her too, obviously." you laughed, again and again tonight. Surprisingly, he was a lot funnier than he looks like. But he too was taken by surprise at how easy going you seemed to be around him.

"I wish I had a cool story like that. I just bumped into them at school and well, I'm here now, so I guess you know what happens after."

"If I bumped into them at school they would beat my ass." you took it as a joke, even if you knew it was true.

"I wouldn't." probably. "But I'm glad nothing happened."

"Yeah, nothing happened." he looked away, avoiding your eyes as he drank more.

"No way?" you gasped. "What happened? Did you got in a fight?" believe it or not, most of the people in your group are here because of a fight, but if you don't know he won't tell you.

"It's getting late." he said, taking your beer away. "I'll take this, you go sleep."

"I want to know what happened next."

"Not now." he's really going to leave you hanging after letting such a bomb on you?

He pushed you to your room, closing the door after and leaving you all alone in there.

Guess you can say that was the start of a great friendship. Because after that night you became so much more open, perhaps a bit too open. But that's just how you guys were. At least in private, when nobody else was there.

When there were more people in there, you go back to your awkward self, keeping some distance so nobody would say a thing. It's not like you're hiding anything, so who were you like this? It was a mystery.

But then again, how you two got close was an even bigger anomaly. And it was about to become even stranger than before.

It was a beautiful morning when you woke up, the sun was up and shining like it was payed to do so. And somehow, it was annoying. The past few days have been so annoying in fact, and you can't really tell anybody about it.

But even so, you went into the living room, looking to see if anybody was there. And of course there was.

Your roommate sitting at the dining table, in the kitchen, scrolling through his phone and looking like he'd rather do something else. You get it, you would rather be productive in that moment, or do something with your life that would get your mind away from whatever you're going through at the moment.

You went into the kitchen, opening the cabinets and looking for any bottle of alcohol brought over by your friends.

"Drinking this early?" he moved his eyes awya from his phone, looking at you looking some a glass to drink from.

"I'm going through an existential crisis." your mind was all over the place, and so was your pussy, but again, you would rather not talking about it.

"It's that bad, huh?" he would make fun of you, but you were clearly having it bad. "You're sure you wanna drink?" he'd rather have you be the sweet thing that moved in with him, drinking wasn't your thing, even if you do it from time to time. "Want me to take care of it?" he thought you're having trouble with someone. I mean, why else would you be like this?

"Huh?" you placed the bottle down. "I heard it hurts? So I'm not really sure about it."

"I mean, depends? How bad is it?" he was going to beat who ever did you wrong.

You stood there for a moment, thinking about what he just said. Does he know? Is it that obviously? "It's ovulation week, you know how it is. Same old, same old." oh, well, he'll sit down on this one, you got it. "How did you know?" you two were on two different lines, completely parallel to one another.

"Ah.. that." there was something changed about you, more than just your grumpy attitude. You had a sweet smell, but he thought it was your perfume or something. "Just knew, I guess." he doesn't know what to tell you, leave it aside.

"I mean.." please brush it aside, he thought you were having problems would a dude, like a boy problem or whatever it's called. He haves no idea what is actually going on. "I never did it before so dunno what to tell you. I'm a bit scared, if I'm being honest." perhaps he needs the alcohol.

He too shouldn't had pushed it, but he's a fucker, and he loves pushing things around, poking and provoking people. And perhaps he wants a few answers out of you.

"Never?" you shook your head, blinking a few times and tilting your head to the side, waiting for what he'll say next. "Then I can't help you." he wasn't going to do that to begin with. "Gotta find someone else." it was obvious he was joking, you knew him and his shit ass humor. So why were you looking at him like that? With big eyes, curious, and a bit of mischief in them.

"I wasn't planning on doing anything to begin with." you got him sweating for a moment. He thought you'd ask him to do something. "You did it tho, didn't you?" does he looks like a virgin to you? "Can't I ask a few questions? I'm curious about it."

"Aren't you supposed to ask a girl or something?"

"I like getting informations about it from both sides." you sat down on the other side of the table, opposite of him. "How is it?"

"Same as always?" he haves no idea what to tell you. He should have let you drink some alcohol, because he haves no idea what to tell you. "How is it for you?" this haves to embarrass you, make you all shy and run away.

"Wet." he haves to admit, you keep hitting him when he's least expecting. You should stop playing with him like this. "I'm either like this all day or get triggered easily." triggered? Is that how you wanna call it? "I can't look at anything for too long without feeling a pool in my pants." you sighed.

"You can get someone to help you." you could. But then again, do you want to?

"Dick comes with problems. So I'd rather not." those were some words he never expected to hear from you. But at the same time, it responds to a lot of his questions.

You're always home, avoiding people outside your group of friends, not getting too close or friendly to people. No wander he never heard about you having any dates, like, ever.

"Get care of it yourself." what other options you have? You're giving him that look again, come on, stop playing with him and his feelings. Your eyes, sad, and a bit disappointed. Like you didn't want to hear that, especially from him. But what else do you want him to say? There's a line between joking and getting serious, and you know he'll never cross it. Unless you're clearly asking him for it, because he personally won't do shit. "Have you ever been eaten out?" he realized what he said only after he opened his mouth.

His words hit both of you, like a third person said it, not him. You both looked surprised at each other, now waiting for an explanation.

"I mean." did he really wanted to know, was he actually asking you or was this one of his other plays? In the end, you shook your head, not really knowing what to say. "Did you?" did he now?

"A few times while drunk." you were always all ears when he's telling a story, and you have no idea what it does to him. No one else reacts the way you do, and now he's always left disappointed when he's telling a story and the reactions are mediocre. "I was told I did a pretty good job." but now he's actually trying to figure out, remember, if he actually did a good job or the girls were all dumb from his dick.

"Then you must be good at it?" is that an invitation? Are you trying to provoke him? Are you telling him that you don't believe it and he should show you? Because if you feed his ego a little more he might actually show you.

"Got them screaming my name and shit." he was trying hard, like, so hard to play nonchalantly. But he's really not fine at all inside. You seem to only want answers for your dumb questions, not to actually want to know how he feels.

"I see." was that it?

"It doesn't hurt if it's not sex." now, here's where's when he's pushing the buttons. But he's trying to let you know, if you want it, it doesn't have to be his cock necessarily. It can be other stuff too, like let him have a little taste, show you that he's true to his words and his stories are no joke. He's real, the things he said are real, and he can make you feel something more real than anything you experience.

He can answer your questions, no, show you. You want to know about intimacy, right? He can make you feel it. But that all is going to cost you.

Dick comes with problems, and your not horny enough to beg for those problems yet.

"I know." you said, getting up from the table and going back to your bottle of alcohol. "Sometimes I like pain, you know? It feels good in it's own way." he needs a better answer than that. He won't take some vaguely words as a green light. "Anyway, this is mine now. Hope it will put me out to sleep." you said before going back to your room.

So this was it? You really are going to ask him all that and leave him alone? What is he supposed to do now? He made a fool of himself, you must think that he's some kind of clown. He can't believe he threw himself at what he thought was an opportunity.

But to his surprise, you really treated as a joke. Like you do this all the time, talk, provoke one another, or at least try.

No, it's alright. As long as you're not mad at him everything is fine. Or he thought.

Because the next day you came back to him, asking questions again.

"So like, oral right? How is it?" you might as well ask him to show it to you. You seemed to interested in knowing, but you don't dare to actually practice it. "Does it hurt? I mean, it might not, but still."

"It doesn't." that was reassuring, it lifted something off your chest.

"How long does it last?"

"Depends from person to person, it's like sex. It's different for everybody." for a thug like him, he was surprisingly indulging. Answering your questions, with care, and a calm voice. Like we knew one wrong move and he'll scare you away. "You're really that curious about it?" you nodded. It was normal to be curious of the unknown, no? "Why don't I should you?"

You bite your lip, looking at your hands, playing with your fingers a little and then looking back at him. "Sure."

You ended up on the couch in no time, pants on the floor, and tshirt all the way up, revealing your tiddies to the cool air. His eyes were on your panties, who had a visible wet spot on them.

It was embarrassing, the way he was eyeing you, up and down, looking at everything he wouldn't usually see.

He'll spare you this once, because it was the first time you done this. But he'll also pay extra extra attention to you, just in case if you're planning on asking for more in the future to know who to go to.

Your panties now on the floor alongside your pants, and Toji positioning better between your legs. Placing them over his shoulders so he knows he's secured there, close to your wet dripping pussy.

Call him a bit delusional, or even crazy, but he loved it there. How your juices were all over the place, waiting for him to do something, wanting him to calm the aching between your legs, calling his name. And he won't let you wait.

Dragging you closer to him, he wrapped his hands around your legs, placing soft kisses on your burning skin. And that alone was making you squirm around. But somehow this feels new to him too, because he never fucks around with people like you. So, him being in this position was as foreign as it felt for you.

He's never this attentive, careful with his touches. Caressing your thighs, and softly lapping at your sweet nectar. He's letting you breath, not just fucking your brains out. And it was weirder because this was so out of character. But it didn't matter, at the moment he couldn't care less of how he's acting.

He was circling your clit, licking it and kissing it all over. Looking up at you to see how you're doing, it only make him laugh at your reactions. If you asked him what he'll think of this situation a few weeks ago he'd say it was absurd, but noe he's loving it.

"Don't hide your voice, let me hear it." he placed a kiss on your clit before inserting one of his fingers into you with ease. It was so warm inside, and slippery, he had no other choice but add another finger. This time a little harder but it was alright, because you seem to take him so well.

You really got him overthinking this, and it was annoying because he feels like his confidence is evaporating. You got him sucking on your pearl while slowly curling his fingers inside you, way too slowly because he's afraid he might hurt you. And if he does that, he'll throw himself out the window.

He should laugh at himself, because this was stupid. He should ask you how you're feeling, but he's too prideful after all that talk earlier.

He said he's the best, he promised to give you an unforgeable experience, to make you come back to him. He can't show any signs of weakness. What if you'd think he's less of an man after that?

So, now he's stuck on sucking the life out of you, moving his fingers faster, his touch a lot rougher without even realizing. But you didn't said anything about it, only going with your hands through his hair and tugging at it lightly.

His eyes had something dark in them, like he couldn't even realize what he's doing anymore, lost in his own world as he tried to prove to you he's no pussy. He can make you cum like never before, you'll even beg him for more. So just wait a little longer, he'll show you.

He came back to his senses the moment you said his name, making him freeze for a second as he looked up at you. You're lucky he's not going all the way in today, he would have fucked you up for that look you're giving him. "Too much?" he's indulging today, he haves to remind himself that. He can't let his control slip for even a moment.

"A bit." you had a few tears in your eyes, and all he's wandering is what are you going to do if you're going to take things further? Crying from this much? You won't even be able to cockwarm him.

Believe it or not, he haves full control over himself. He's all about control, he always knows what he wants and what to do. But you, you little unpredictable thing, you make him rethink his life's decisions. Did he actually knew what he wanted? Because now his brain is upsidedown, not being able to think rationally.

Even in moments like these, jumping from bed to bed, he was always the one who decides everything. And yet, right now he's doing everything to your heart's desire.

Is he too rough? Do you want it softer? He'll do it however the fuck you want. Because who is he to begin with when it comes to you?

And instead of making fun of him, or ordering him around, you give him those puppy eyes. Careful with your touch as your hands brush against his skin, making him lean in for more, like he's some kind of pet waiting for his reward.

He's going crazy, he's absolutely going insane.

"That's.." you sighed, not even being able to finish your sentence. But he understood it perfectly. You don't have to tell him anything, he gets it. He'd be too stupid not to.

You want to come? Do it. He'll claim everything all for himself. He'll take it, and he'll even try to pull out more from you if you allow him to.

You let out some soft sounds, moans barely audible, too shy to let anything out loud. But he liked it, even if he was talking about making others scream, he didn't expected that from you. Especially when he's not even trying to.

Right now it was all about seeing how far you can take it. What you'll give him. And about making you trust him more. He won't push you, so give him everything you want.

You're so cute when you cum, and you have no idea. He might seriously be in love right now, and even he doesn't know it.

This haves to be ridiculous, like a thing you'd only see in circus, a type of charade especially made for movies for idiots. He doesn't think he can let you go just yet. He want to see something more, feel more. See something you haven't showed him yet. And the ridiculous part is that even he doesn't know why exactly he's doing this, why he feels like this.

"One more?" he asked, getting up from between your legs, and placing them on either sides of his body. He was waiting for your answer, an affirmation that gives him even more control over what he's about to do next.

"One more?" wasn't once enough? You don't think you ever managed to orgasm this hard in your life. He must be a wizard, because his hands are magical.

"You're still so wet, don't you want more?" well, you did feel like something was missing, but your body feels so heavy. And he already did so much, you feel bad to let him do everything.

"I do, but-" he didn't even let you finish.

"Then do you not trust me?"

"It's not that."

"Did it not feel good?" he leaned down, caging you between him and the couch, his face against yours as he looked down to where your private parts were.

"You did. It's just.. I want to do something for you too." you're just so cute. He was going to bite those cheeks of yours.

"And I want to do you. Let me do it and we'll figure it out after." he was going to sweet talk you until you give him a more acceptable answer.

"Alright." you give up so fast. But you did good, so he might as well give you something to think about.

One of his hands went back between your legs, slowly pushing two fingers inside your warm core, purposely positioning over you in a way that it makes you feel more of him. In a way that would play with your mind that his cock is actually going in, that's he's fucking you in that moment even if he wasn't.

He's playing with you, he's guilty of it. But he realized that if he's not giving you a little push then you'll never do anything on your own. So, he's giving you a little preview, to show you that it's not that different from what he's doing now. Even if it was, how would you know?

"How is it?" he asked, moving some of your hair away from your face.

"It feels different from before." because last time he didn't even tried going all the way in, mostly focusing on the outside, on your clit that seems desperate for his attention.

"Does it hurt?" you shook your head, leaning more into the couch, letting your body weight drop.

You were squirming around a little, feeling s bit too full of him. It was weird, the way you feel like he's deep into your guts, deeper than he actually is.

And he seems to enjoy this, seeing you struggle as you try to adjust to him. He was bigger than anything you took before, and those were only your fingers.

You shouldn't have been curious, because now look at this, you're stuck with this maniac who seems to take pleasure from seeing you struggle.

Then he started to curl his fingers, hitting a place where it got you gasping. Looking at him with a pout on your face, begging him to stop playing around.

You picked the wrong person, you definitely picked the wrong person. Because he was way too happy about this. Curling his fingers, again and again, giving you no time to think as he kept bullying your insides at a constant pace.

Your hands were tugging at his shirt, shaking when his palm started to move right into your clit. He knew what he was doing, and he didn't seemed to stop until he shows you all of his tricks.

"You're squeezing my fingers." he said, feeling the way your insides tightens around him. "You're cumming already? But it's just getting started." he was talking like he didn't enjoyed this.

"It's too much." you sobbed, making him lean more in, his hand moving at a meaner pace. He was trying to snatch that orgasm out of you, pull it like it was his life's mission.

But then again, if you can't handle this much will you ever be able to handle him? "It's alright, I'm here." not him talking like he wasn't the cause of your current state.

He can't get enough of this, he was going to go insane if you let him play with you more.

The way you're shaking, letting out broken cries as you cum around his fingers. Your hands gripping at him, dragging him closer, like you were trying to use him to shield yourself from the world.

One more, he haves to do it one more time. He doesn't know what he'll do if he doesn't do it one more time.

He was licking your tears away, making you sob as he seemed to press his body into yours. He's all yours, at least for the moment. So do whatever you want, eat him alive, rip those clothes off him and comand him as you please, because he's not going anywhere.

"No more." you shook your head, grabbing his arm in yours to stop him from doing anything more. "I can't take another more."

"Alright." he still stayed on top of you, keeping you trapped as he let some of his body weight fall into yours. Taking some time to calm himself, because he also need it.

He can't believe what he just did. If you didn't said anything he would have fucked up millions. This was the first time something like this happened to him, so he doesn't know how to react.

What even is this feeling? It was madness, it was driving him insane and he haves no idea what to do. You smell sweet, tasty, delicious even, and he only wanders how sweeter you can get.

He can't let this go any further. Picking your clothes from the floor, he dressed you up, now slowly guiding you back to your room.

He should have went out today, because he doesn't know if he can recover from this. Stupid him for being curious. And stupid you for falling right into his arms.

What is he going to tell the others? I mean, he won't say shit, but what if you do? He'll take responsibility if you want, even if he haves no actual idea how. But to his surprise, nothing changed.

You laugh at his dumb jokes, you greet him like always. You were clearly still in friendly terms, that same old distance between the two of you was still there. Everything was exactly the same of how it was before. This plus a bit more touches.

Your hands would touch, and it made both of you freeze. Sometimes you'd sit way too close next to each other and when you realize what's happening you both are staring into the void. Your eyes wanders around too, tracing along your bodies and trying to figure out if there's something new that you haven't seen yet.

You try to play it cool around other people, of course. But sometimes you can't help but wander.

To others, you're still awkward, your relationship haven't changed yet. In a matter of fact, it looked more like you're trying to talk and you don't have the courage yet. It was somehow true, but not in the way people would expect.

You both want to talk, but you don't seem to have the words yet.

That of course was until you happened to be home alone one time. Coming back earlier than usually, and having the whole house to yourself.

You never thought you'll see this place empty, without a single soul in there besides you. It was calming. Like you could finally breathe, sit on the couch and enjoy your time in peace. You even managed to take a nap, stretching your arms and legs as you tried to occupie as much space as possible. There was no one there after all, so you had the sofa all for yourself.

Soft light illuminating the room, even the sounds that are coming from outside are relaxing, like everything decided to be in harmony for you to be able to sleep.

You were tired, these days have been so tiring, it was normal to fall into a deep slumber the first chance you got. You were so gone into the dream world that you didn't even heard the front door, or the guy that got inside who was surprisingly quiet.

He didn't even knew you were home to begin with, he thought you'd probably be out, doing whatever you're usually doing. But then he saw you, laying on the couch, drooling as you didn't seemed to care even a little about anything else than to rest.

He was tired too, his body was aching, but he kept lying to himself that he's good. He kept telling himself that he doesn't need to rest, just yet. That he can go a few more days without some good sleep.

"You're back?" your words got him back to reality, he doesn't even remember since when he kept staring at you. You looked so peaceful, sleeping without a worry, and for some reasons he was jealous.

"Yeah." he took a step backwards, not daring to get any closer than that. He was still giving you so much space especially after what happened between you two.

"Are you tired?" you were still half asleep, you had no idea what you were saying. But he looked tired to you, like he needs to rest for a few minutes.

"A little." he couldn't even think of excuses in that moment, this warm atmosphere you created around you was suffocating. It was playing with his mind, making him feel relaxed.

"Why don't you take a nap?" he's a busy man, he doesn't have the time to do that. "Here." you pointed to the little space that was available on the couch. You must still be asleep because he doubts you would say that to him when you're wide awake.

"I'm good." he haves to go out again anyway, so it's not like he haves the time for that.

"Toji." you said his name softly, a hint of amusement in your voice as you looked at him with a smile on your face. Finally looking at him as you're not avoiding eye contact anymore. "Come here." you didn't sounded demanding or asking for it. And for a little he was tempted, like he was going to allow himself to let himself slide again.

"I have to go back in an hour." he actually doesn't even know what time it is. He was trying to give you an opening to back out.

"That's more than enough time." you pat the place next to you. "Come." you lay down, getting yourself comfortable as you moved to make more space for him to fit. You closed your eyes again, falling back asleep with your arms open, like you knew he'd come.

He doesn't really know what got into him for actually accepting your offer. It's just.. you as a whole. You're so welcoming, so warm, and your scent so confusing. He could practically taste you, and it made his head blurry every single time.

He wrapped his hands around you, his face buried in your neck as he fell asleep way too fast that he would like.

It was supposed to be a quick nap, but both of you woke up in the middle of the night, the sun being long gone as the whole room was filled with darkness.

No one said a thing, just staying in place and trying to remember what exactly happened to get in this situation.

Your arm was sore since his head been on it the whole time, and your body was stiff from the way you stayed in a single position, not having enough space to turn around and do something.

"You're awake?" his voice scared you for a moment, but somehow it calmed you knowing that he was the one next to you.

"Yeah." you're thankful that's it's dark at the moment, not being able to see much. "Are you going back to sleep?"

"Probably." no one moved, you were both in the same position as when you woke up.

You couldn't sleep, and neither could he. You were wide awake, your brain working way to hard on this situation and failing to process a single thought.

"You told me to come." he said. "Take a quick nap."

"I did." at least you remember that much. Don't blame him for anything he didn't do. "What time is it?" he doesn't even know at what time he came home.

"Dunno." and he doesn't want to know.

This is playing with both of your heads, all kind of thoughts filling you. Thinking of the possibilities, of what will happen if someone moves at least a little.

Your heart was beating so hard it might jump out your chest, and he seemed to be in the same situation.

"You know, what happened.." he said, clearing his throat. "Before." how could you not remember? Your pussy took you places you wouldn't go on gunpoint. Being horny wasn't for the weak. "Shit happens sometimes." you're aware of it. You know fully well it's on both of you, it's not only his fault of yours alone.

"I know." but you still can't help but feel a bit.. off. How can you put it in better terms? You're thinking about it every time before going to sleep, the feeling of another person on you, not really skin to skin but closer than you ever been to someone else.

"Don't mind it." he can't tell you not to when it can't leave your mind. Now you want more, as scary as it was, you're craving for more.

"Is it usually like this?" so you weren't going to give him a break after all? He thought he could talk you out, but you're only bringing him problems.

"Like what?" fine, he'll entertain you. He doesn't want to get up to begin with, so ge might as well answer a few more of your questions.

"Awkward? Strange? It left a bitter taste in my mouth and I don't why." he doesn't know why either.

"It's not." at least for him. "I don't feel anything afterwards." he could feel your eyes on him. "Usually." he continued, feeling like he had to explain himself.

"How do you feel now, then?" you're too curious for your own good.

"Like I left something unfinished." so he gets it then. "Empty." it was more like he overdid it, but still not quite enough. "I could have done more."

"More?" you sounded offended. "I thought I saw the light for a moment. What do you mean you could have done more? You're trying to kill me?" he laughed. It's alright if you don't understand.

"I didn't show you how I usually do it, so perhaps that's why I feel like this."

"Why don't you show me then?" you're trying to provoke him? He's trying not to fuck up again like he did last time, not do more.

"Now?" he can't never back down. And who is he to say no to begin with?

"Whenever you want."

"I got the time now." he had no idea what to do. He's usually more than just talk, but he was really not prepared for anything now.

"Now?" you weren't prepared either. "What should I do then?" but you trust him. So you'll follow his lead.

"Hop on." you got on top of him, your ass pressed against his cock who seems to get harder with each second passes. He can't do much, he can't free himself from his pants, he also can't let you bounce on it. He's not even sure if he's allowed to touch you to begin with. "What do you want to do?" he can't believe he's asking you this.

"I don't know." you're not being helpful at all.

"Move a little backwards." his hands were on yours sides, moving your hips on his hard cock. He was half hard, and yet he was so big already.

The room was bright, but not enough. The light from outside wasn't enough to see your expressions clearly. And at the moment that's all he wanted to see. What faces you're making, how did you react when you felt him? Stupid light, can't even help a man out.

"Grind on it." you figured out that much.

Placing your hands on the couch, right next to his body, you positioned better on top of him. You hoped for something more, but that's alright. You're learning something new everyday, and you're happy with it.

"Like this?" you moved your hips back and forth, your clothed pussy right onto him, feeling his cock jump around whenever you let out a whimper.

"Do it how you want it." that's not really what you wanted to hear.

You're unsure of what to do when he'll leaving everything to you. A bit of guidance would have been helpful, or some feedback. But he's not saying anything, only staring at you, like he suddenly got night vision. Or like he's trying to get one.

"How do you feel?" you asked, too lost in your thoughts to even realize how you're feeling.

"It's good, keep going." that lifted something off your chest, now focusing on how you're moving.

You never thought of how it would feel, doing this on another person. One who's surprisingly hardheaded, not saying much and making you overthinking about your actions.

Good thing your body was on autopilot, moving desperately on him and trying to cum. The darkness had it's own benefits, like the fact that he couldn't see you. So coming would be less embarrassing, especially in front of another person.

He wished he could get in your head, or at least have some kind of superpower that allows him to hear people's thoughts. Your soft sounds makes his mouth water, and yet it wasn't enough. He was a visual learner, he needed more than just your voice. And the fact that you seem to get so closer to your release didn't helped him. He needed to see it. "You're close?" he needed a confirmation. He can't make accusations based on his intuition, or better said, delusion.

"Yeah." you said out of breath. He's taking it from here.

With a quick move, now your positions changed. You were the one underneath him, and he was on top of you. Pressing his hard on you, grinding a lot faster than you did, harder. Taking you by surprise from the way everything turned around in just a moment.

You said you're close, didn't you? He's just helping you. After all, how will you come back to ask for more if he's giving you a mediocre orgasm?

His lips on yours, being way too lost in this competition only he's participating in. Kissing you like there's no tomorrow, and giving you once again the illusion of him fucking you.

See? There's nothing scary in it? It's just him and you, and your bodies. He's giving you pleasure you're asking for, the one you kept craving after. And he's going to give it to you every time you come to him.

Your mind went blank, not being able to think of anything as you're shaking in his arms.

He's not stopping moving, letting you ride your high out as he slows down. One of his hands went between your bodies, trying to tug at his pants to free his cock before freezing in place.

He's going insane, he's officially a mad man. He can't believe he really was ready to fuck you right there and then. He said this was about you and yet he couldn't even keep his dick in his pants.

Why are you giving him attention? Why did you chose to fuck around with him out of all people? Was it because he's always around? You're seeing him and something convenient to use when you're feeling horny? Then use him properly, don't talk nicely to him or he'll get the wrong idea.

"You're going to kill me sooner or later." you said, trying to catch your breath. "What about you, don't you need help?" how long until he finally snaps? Who knows.

"I'm alright." if you keep putting your hands on him he will not be able to take it lightly.

"You're sure?" seriously, let him be. He won't die from a boner.

"Yeah." he pushed his body up, giving you space so he won't do something stupid again. "I'm going to take a shower." and take care of the thing between his legs.

"Without me?" you giggled, like you were waiting to say that for a while now.

"Come and you might not be a virgin by the time we get out." oh, that made you shut up. Nope, you're not ready for it yet.

"I was joking." of course you were.

"It will take a while, don't wait for me." he said before finally getting into the bathroom.

You too need to change, your underwear might as well become part of your body from how sticky it was.

The next day? Surprisingly, you were pretty alright. You didn't seemed to walk on shells anymore. But that alone made him feel like it was alright to keep going. Because, believe it or not. Every time you touch he becomes more and more delusional. And perhaps you do so too.

It seems like your still craving for more, purposely sitting next to him, and trying to make as much body contact as possible. It was small touches, but it was still something.

He's down whenever you're down. Just say the word and he's ready to bend you over whenever.

You're shy, like you're waiting to see what he'd say. Does he wants you around, or does he not? You're trying to see what exactly he'll do.

You're giving him looks, biting your lip and fluttering those eyelashes at him like you're all innocent. When in reality you're far from that.

You told him your secrets, asked him embarrassing stuff you never dared saying before. Heck, you even let him do things you didn't even dreamed of doing. What more do you have to do to prove him that you trust him?

"You got pretty big hands." you said the thing. "Mine are so small compared to yours." if this doesn't prove that you want him, then you don't know what. "See?" it's like you're asking him to get in your bed.

But he's not satisfied with just this much. Because he knows you can say the right things when you're desperate enough. So how dare you think he'd take the bait just now?

"You'll grow." he's doing in intentionally. But now he wished he said something else. Your disappointed look got him rethinking his decision. Maybe he shouldn't make you try that hard. It was your first time doing something like this after all, so he should keep it easy.

"I won't grow more than this." well, it was true.

"You're alright the way you are." he tried to fix his mistake. "Or something." he had to play cool, so you won't think he's all soft.

You wanted to say something more until you heard the front door. You didn't expected anyone to come over today.

"Get your ass here already." Sukuna, of course. "Can't believe I came all the way here to pick your dumb face." you looked at your roommate, confused if the pink haired man was talking about you or him. "You're not ready yet?"

"Me?" you asked, not remembering having any plans for today.

"Not you. Him."

"What was today again?" the dark haired man asked, not being able to remember anything. He thought he'd be able to stay home tonight, but apparently that wasn't an option.

"Boy, get moving already."

"Bye." you waved your hand. "I'll miss you." you didn't mean to say that.

"I'll miss you too." Sukuna looked at you, not minding your strange words at all. "You though it was for you?" the tattooed man looked at your roommate, raising an eyebrow and waiting to see if he'd say something. But nothing, the dark haired man didn't said a thing, as he was getting into the entrance hallway.

Well, here you go, I guess. Now you're all alone when you thought you wouldn't.

But to your luck Shoko was calling you, checking to see how you're doing since she haven't been able to come over recently.

"Life have been boring lately." she sighed, walking towards the window and open it so she could smoke.

"That's not good." you couldn't say you relate.

"Anything good on your side." well, now that she said that, you have a few questions for her.

"Actually." should you ask her? What if she tells the others? "I need someone to talk to, like, a girl talk." you got her attention.

"Did something happen?"

"So.. I'm talking to this guy." you paused, waiting for her reaction to know if you should continue or find someone else to talk to.

"Do I know him?" that was a trick question. She knew everybody you talk to, your friends were her friends.

"Maybe. But that's not important. It's just need some advice."

"Go ahead then?" she lit a cigar.

"But like, don't tell anybody." who knows what they're going to do if they hear about you and a guy getting involved.

"I won't." she better.

So, you started telling her what happened to you recently. Letting out a lot of the things that happened, and names, and places. All she needs to know is how you want to move forward but he seems not to.

"He likes you." she said before you could even finish speaking.

"You're sure?" this happens if you let out more than you would like.

"It's either this or he wants to get in your pants." you sighed, not even wanting to this about it.

"I wish." she didn't expect you to say that.

"Oh?" now she needed the actual tea. "What happened?"

"I want to but he keeps holding back." he keeps dodging every time you try to flirt and it was annoying. Maybe he was actually doing all that because he took a pitty on you. Seeing you all sad and depressing.

"If you don't want him give him to me." you doubt she'll say this if she knows who you're actually talking about.

"Anyway, I don't know what to do."

"I still think that he likes you. Why don't you call him?" that wasn't a bad idea at all. Since he's not home you have all the time in the world to pack your stuff and leave in case things go south.

You waited, perhaps a bit too much than you would like. But you did texted him in the end. It was almost midnight when you did.

You're up? if he wasn't, that was your sign that you shouldn't try anything and sit down.

Yea. Wassup. he replied almost instantly, and for a moment Shoko's words were all over the place once again. Does he actually likes you?

Nothing, just wanna hear your voice. you became a bit too open with him than you would like. Who else would you text in the middle of the night that you're missing them if not him?

Want me to call?

Yeah. he didn't anything more than that, because in the next second he called you.

"Can't even go a day without missing me?" unfortunately.

"Wanted to see how you're doing." you don't even know what to say now that you're hearing him. "How are the others?"

"Left a while ago and they didn't even noticed." that sounds like your friends. "I could come home and they won't say shit."

"Everybody been busy lately. Why don't you go and have some fun?" you're supposed to ask him what he thinks about you, not make him hang up. Stupid you.

"Nahh. Don't want to." lucky you. "What are you doing now?"

"Talking to you." that's true. "Don't gave anything better to do."

"Missing me that much, huh?" he tried to joke around, but you weren't really in the mood for it.

"Yeah. Kinda." he get it now. This wasn't time for shits and giggles.

"Want me to do something?" what can he even do from over there? "I wanted to take a look at your pussy before I left, unfortunately didn't got the chance to." can he really say stuff like that? What if somebody hears him?

"Really? Because I remember it different." but you can't back down when he clearly started it.

"Believe it or not, I'm an idiot. I say things without a meaning all the time." he does that a lot. "Wished I could make it up for it now." you were bad at expressing your feelings, but you got more open about it when you're horny.

"I want to hear your voice more." he bet you do.

"Don't rile me up now." he let out a heavy breath. "Can't make it out past those idiots without being caught."

"Where are you now?" right, you had no idea where he even was to begin with.

"Some random room in Gojo's house. Might take home a souvenir while I'm at it." some things never change.

"Can't you come up with an excuse to come back?" you're doing that again, talking in a way that makes him say yes to whatever you're asking.

"Need me that bad?" there was a hint of amusement in his voice, but there was nothing funny the way his pants starts to feel uncomfortable.

"Maybe. Can't say for sure if you're not here." he'd jump out the window to come home right this moment if he wasn't on the eight floor. He shouldn't have left, he could have come up with something the moment those idiots texted him.

"I'll be back tomorrow, probably."

"Probably?" he loved the way you whine and the way you're so needy for him. Ugh, he's not alright at all.

"If I try to leave now they'll tie me up."

"I want to tie you up too." big words for someone who never experienced a dick before.

"Maybe not now. But we can do something different." his mind is working pretty fast.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Turn on the camera, let me see you. Bet your pussy is missing me." that's too much for a beginner like you.

"Can't we talk like this?" you were embarrassed, and man he wished he could see your face.

"Alright then." he'll be back tomorrow anyway, so it didn't matter. "Take your panties off, play with yourself for me. Let me hear it if you won't show me."

"I'm a bit embarrassed." he knows.

"I'll do it too. So you won't be alone." oh, well, that could help. But now you're more interested in hearing him than do something yourself. "Wanna see how hard my cock is? I'll send you a picture."

"I'd rather see it in real life than in a photo." the room was filled with his laugh. You were so bold out of a sudden. Wait until he gets back, you won't be that confident anymore.

"You're sure you won't cry from it? What if it's too big for that little pussy of yours?"

"If it's you, I'll handle it." you could hear him moving around, and for a moment you went quoet trying to understand what he's doing.

"Why did you stop talking? Say something, let me hear your voice." his voice was so low for some reasons, and you could only imagine why.

"What do you want me to say?"

"What are you doing now?"

"Talking to you?" you could hear him clicking his tongue.

"Not that." what else then? "Touch your clit for me, tell me how you feel." oh, he was really going to do it?

"Give me a moment." you won't say no when he also wanted it. You took your pants off with a quick move, alongside your panties, and throwing them somewhere around the room.

"You had all this time to get ready." it's like you're not even listening to him.

"I'm kinda wet." kinda? He wanted to hear about you having a pool in your pants just from thinking about him.

"Kinda isn't enough." you weren't prepared for this. You thought you'd have a little chat, not this. "Get it ready for me."

"You won't be back until tomorrow tho?"

"And? That doesn't mean that I won't be back. Get it ready so you won't say that I bullied you." did you ever said he did? Perhaps you did, but that wasn't important. "Can you push two fingers in? Doubt you can take more."

"I can."

"Yeah? I don't believe in empty words, I want proof." this fucker.

"On a second thought, two it's alright." he laughed again, running his hand down his hard cock and letting out a sigh.

"Then do it. Try to go as deep as possible." you followed his instructions, pushing two fingers inside your wet core and trying to do as he previously did.

You remember you used to do it yourself without a problem, so why were you struggling now? Are your fingers that little? You didn't feel like your even halfway through.

"How are you doing it?" you must be struggling, huh? He can't help but smile at the thought if you not being able to please yourself without his help.

"Something's wrong?" he could only guess.

"I can go all the way in." he bet you don't.

"Aww, poor baby. You must miss me even more now, huh?" he was way too happy at your misfortune.

"I can do it without your help." if he thought he was being funny, then you too can play. You started to let out any kind of sounds you made without any restrain. And all he could do is hear them through a phone.

Wasn't it funny? You're louder alone than you're with him. But don't worry, he'll take revenge on it later. At the moment he'll enjoy your voice since that's the only thing he can have.

He was paying more attention to you than him. To the way your voice would break a little when you do something your body likes it, like when you touch a place that feels too good for it's good. And how you'd move your hand away, afraid of giving into the feeling.

That's why you need him, he doesn't hold back unlike you. With him you can rest assured you'd be crying and shaking, while when you're alone you take so many breaks, not daring to push yourself at all.

He can't believe you avoid touching yourself in the places that you should. At this point this will take forever with you. No wander you're so obsessed with him. He does the things you don't dare to.

"Rub your clit faster, don't stop till I say so." now he was waiting. All ears on the wet sounds your body produce, and your voice.

You're listening to him so good, doing as he said without a single thought behind your head.

He can't get enough of you, and your dumb naive self. What will you even do without him? At this point you might need him more than he needs you, and he'd rather die than admin that.

He's practically chocking his cock as he was listening to you, his phone pressed against his ear as his head went backwards.

He wants to go home, he can't even cum knowing that you're there, in the darkness of the night, waiting for him all sad and alone.

"Just wait until I get home, alright?" that's all he said before hanging up.

You went to sleep, thinking you'd see him tomorrow morning. But he wasn't there, not a few hours later or even at noon.

Did he forgot where his house was, or did he perhaps didn't want to have anything to do with you anymore? You'd rather chose the first option than even think of him not wanting you anymore.

But he came back, late at night when you least expect.

He was breathing heavily, standing in the middle of the living room as he looked at you who was in the kitchen. "Sorry I'm late." that's all he said before getting closer, cupping your face with his hands and kissing you like it's been years since you last seen each other.

"Thought you forgot about me." you got the chance to say when he started to take off your clothes.

"Those fuckers. Had to run away or they would have dragged me to fuck knows where." his lips were back on yours, trying to lead the way to his room while kissing you.

"Your clothes." you said when you got to his bed.

"Fuck it." he took his clothes off so fast you're surprised he didn't ripped them.

He's not going out again any time soon. He's staying home, or at least he'll go wherever you're going. He's not leaving you alone ever again.

He got with his head between your legs, starting to eat you out, to ease you so it won't be hard for any of you later. Two of his fingers quickly slipped in, moving and making sure to stretch you out. But he's too impatient to do something for too long.

"Look at me." he said, getting up to be at the same eye level as you. Holding his cock with a hand and slowly pushing his head past your folds. You'd only get scared if you look down, and he'll try to distract you however he can.

He kept pushing himself in more and more, not stopping until he got all the way in. And staying there until you tell him to do something.

"Does it hurts?" he had to ask, to know if you were alright or if he went like an idiot right ahead.

"A little." you wrapped your legs around him. "But it's alright. You can move." here he was again, kissing you like he was trying to eat you while his hips were moving at a complete another pace.

He was careful, moving in and out slowly, painfully slow and letting you accommodate to him and his zise. But at the same time he tried to get your head away from him, or the fact that yes, indeed he was inside you.

You didn't complained, you seemed to be just as greedy as him, dragging him closer, wrapping your arms around him and securing him in your arms. In case he doesn't want this anymore and decides to leave.

But how can he leave? Especially when he came home all in a hurry, having to run away when no one was looking so he could be there with you. In fact, he's even more paranoid than you. What if you suddenly see him for what he is and leave? What if you don't want him anymore and go for someone else who can treat you better?

Just that thought alone was making him go crazy.

You can't leave him, not when he wasted so much time trying to get close to you. Not when you fit perfectly in his hands. Look, your body likes him, it craves for him. Your pussy is sucking him in and it doesn't seem to want to let go.

"Harder." you said, wanting to feel him even deeper. He needed to touch places no one else did before, to go as deep as he can and to practically become one with you. Because you needed him to. How else can you claim him as yours if not like this?

"No." he said, kissing the side of your face.

"Do it." and then you'll cry that he was rough. He won't give you a reason to look for somebody else. Instead, he'll fuck you nice and slow, show you that there was more to this that you think.

Sneaking a hand down your body, his thumb started circling your clit, his hips slowly hitting yours, filling the room with sounds barely audible.

This was good the way it was. Body against body, intimate touches and you craving for each other. What more do you need? Because he, personally, doesn't need anything more than this.

He wish he could keep you in this moment forever. In an empty house where only the two of you were. Where it was forever night, so no one else would disturb you.

"Stay with me. It's not done yet." his forehead pressed against yours, pushing more of him onto you so he could feel you more. He didn't want to come, and he didn't want to see you do it either. Because it means this moment had to end at some points.

"Don't leave me." silly girl. He won't leave your side even if you kill him.

"I'm here. I won't leave. I'm all yours." he better not be lying, or you won't forgive him.

[cosplayparental]

If I may add,

I am a writer. I have a lot of writing I've posted on AO3 but i also had the start of a novel posted on an old Wattpad account I have since removed all writing from and deleted. It was an original story. It was something I had been working on for 4 years but had put a pause on because life got busy.

When the app character.ai was being developed they STOLE my novel. They used it to develop their writing algorithm for their bots. I didn't know about this for a long time until I had a friend who was curious about the app telling me what they experienced when they tried it. The reason they talked to me about it was because the writing of the bot they were talking to was an EXACT replica of my writing style. My work was stolen and there has been nothing I can do about it because people still use that stupid app.

I will never be able to publish my first novel. I can't even bring myself to finish it, it's been tainted and ruined for me. I can't look at it, I can't open it, I can't finish it and I can't publish it because the minute I try someone is going to accuse me of stealing from a stupid generative ai app to write my book when what happened is the app STOLE FROM ME

FOUR YEARS OF MY LIFE WASTED ON SOMETHING I CANT EVEN LOOK AT WITHOUT WANTING TO CRY AND HURL AT! SO YES ANON, WE HATE GENERATIVE AI HERE! FUCK YOU FOR USING SOMETHING THAT IS KNOWN FOR DESTROYING SMALL CREATORS CHANCES TO SHARE THE STORIES THEY HAVE SO LOVINGLY CRAFTED!

FUCK YOU FOR CHOOSING THESE HARMFUL ACTIONS AND FUCK AI!

So the AI ask wasn't spam. I'd highly encourage you to do some research into how AI actually works, because it is neither particularly harmful to the environment, nor is it actually plagiarism.

Ignoring all of that however, my issue is that, fine, if you don't like AI, whatever. But people get so vitriolic about it. Regardless of your opinions on if it's valid art, your blog is usually a very positive place. It was kind of shocking to see you post something saying "fuck you if you disagree with me, your're a disgrace to the community." Just felt uncharacteristicly mean.

Even if you insist AI isn’t actively harmful to the environment or other writers (and the research I have done suggests it is, feel free to send me additional reading) and you simply MUST use prompts to generate personal content, nobody has any business posting it in a creative space for authors, which was the specific complaint addressed in that original post. While I’ll never say “fuck you for who you are as a person” on this blog, I might very well say “fuck you for harmful or rude actions you’ve taken willingly,” which is what that post was about.

Ao3 and similar platforms are designed as an archive for fan content and not a personal storage place for AI prompt results. It is simply not an appropriate place. If you look in the notes of the previous ask you will see other people have brought up additional reasons they have concerns about this practice.

A note on environmental effects for those who might not know: Generative AI requires MASSIVE amounts of data computers operating. As anyone who has held a laptop in their lap or run Civ VII on an aging desktop computer, computer équipement generates a lot of heat. Even some home and small-industrial computers have water-cooling systems. The amount of water demanded by AI computers is massive, even as parts of the world (even in America) experience water shortages. Besides this, it consumes a lot of power. The rising demand for AI and the improvements demanded to keep it viable mean this problem will continue to scale up rather than improve. Of course, those who benefit from the use of AI continue to downplay these concerns, and money is being funneled into convincing the public that these are not real concerns.

I have been openly against the use of generative AI, especially for art and writing, since its popularity rose in the last couple years. I’m sorry I wasn’t clearer about this stance sooner. I have asked my followers to alert me if I proliferate or share AI content, and continue to do so.

[etherealising]

three | dinner with the berzattos

masterlist | ↢ previous chapter | next chapter ↣

pairing: carmen 'carmy' berzatto x fem!reader | fem!reader x original male character | the bear x fem!reader

summary: you do your best to make the most of the holiday, but instead find carmy is the topic of your conversations. and being under the same roof as him does nothing to help...oh well at least it's almost time for dinner, what more could go wrong?

warning(s): angst | fluff | pining | semi-unrequited love | minimally edited

wc: 6.8k

housekeeping: wowza long time no see! so sorry for just disappearing it was definitely not in my plans but here we are. firstly thank you everyone for sticking by me through all the back and forth of me being gone and randomly coming back. also updates will continue to be sporadic i want to try and post a chapter at least once or twice a month, so this way i can get a backlog going. other than that enjoy this update 🫶🏼

The sound of laughter could be heard through the door of Donna’s bedroom. The two women occupying it caught up with each other like no time passed at all. You were lying on the end of Donna’s bed, elbow propped up so your hand could hold your head up. Tiff was in front of you sitting up slightly from you adjusting her pillows when you first appeared in the room.

“Wait so Richie blew up your mom’s microwave?” The words came out between the laughs that wracked Tiffany’s body. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears as she listened to your account of the story.

You sat up rapidly head nodding to confirm Tiff’s question, “Exactly, Mikey volunteered to pick my mom and me up from her chemo appointment, and Richie bless his soul was trying to make dinner for us.” You paused as you couldn’t stop giggling at the memory, “He couldn’t find any plates, so he put fucking foil in the microwave, and by the time we got home the house was full of smoke and there were scorch marks on the wall.” You couldn’t help but to lean over clenching your stomach at the belly-aching laugh the memory induced. Tiff doing no better, hand gently cradling her bump as she tried to catch her breath.

Finally getting enough air into her lungs Tiff spoke up, “Wha-What did your mom do?” She searched your eyes waiting to hear your explanation.

Your laughter finally settled down allowing you to finish your story, “Absolutely nothing! My mom was so sweet on Richie he could’ve burnt the house down and she would’ve thanked him for it!” The laughter in the room took over once again as the two of you imagined how much your mom’s little crush inflated Richie’s ego.

The two of you finally calmed down sitting in the ambience that a memory from your younger years left behind. Tiff did her best to sit up, careful not to move too quickly in case it induced a bout of nausea. Her hands reached out gently clasping yours in her embrace, “I’m sorry she couldn’t be here with us today.” The slight squeeze she sent you helped convey the raw emotion she felt, the small sad smile gracing her lips also doing its best to comfort you.

You nodded, sending a small smile her way, eyes quickly leaving hers to dart around the room, not comfortable enough to see the earnestness in her blue eyes. You cleared your throat trying to ground yourself, “You expect it to get easier, but it always hits the hardest around the holidays especially when I’m not spending it with all of you.” You let out a pathetic little laugh doing your best to not let the gloomy feeling settle over the room.

You squeezed Tiff’s hands back finally finding her eyes again, “Speaking of, I took up one of her traditions and I made something for you, well the baby.” You watched as Tiff let out a quiet gasp, she’d met your mom a handful of times when she and Richie first began dating and the two always bonded over all of the things your mom used to sew and crochet before it became too much for her ailing health. You recalled how she fell in love with the baby blanket your mom made for you when she was pregnant, wishing her relationship with her mom brought forth such love.

Before you could get up to retrieve the present from the car, the bedroom door opened as Hayden let himself into the room. “Well, aren’t you two just a pair of cute gossipers?”

His demeanor made you frown, his posture was more relaxed, words almost slow as he spoke them, and a dopey grin lined his lips as he looked between you and Tiff.

“Are you high?” Your voice was incredulous as you watched Hayden cover his giggles behind his hand, the idea of Hayden being high wasn’t something new to you, he introduced you to recreational drugs in the first place. But seeing him high on Christmas made you realize just how severely he was taking the break-up with Sasha and maybe you were a bad friend because you’d been so cut up about reuniting with Carmy that you hadn’t stopped to think about the facade he was putting on.

Tiff patted the space between the two of you inviting Hayden to join you. Hayden happily clapped his hands together before moving towards the bed, he walked around the foot of the bed and crawled atop it before resting his head in your lap, his mop of hair tickling your legs as his body took up most of the space left.

“Awe, what’s got you so mopey Hay Hay.” Hayden let out a giggle as Tiff used the nickname he randomly earned senior year of high school.

Hayden took a while before answering, something you were all too familiar with when it came to an intoxicated Hayden. He let out a dramatic sigh before beginning to trace patterns into the duvet. “Sasha’s leaving me…but it’s okay I have a new wife already lined up!”

His hand reached up to poke you on the forehead, and the force of it sent your head backward, Tiff gave you a confused look prompting an explanation, and now that you knew who exactly Carmy assumed you were married to you could give a full explanation. “Richie told Carmy Hayden and I were married,” her mouth fell open in a gasp as she nodded “Sounds like Hayden was in on it though.” Your voice held an undertone of annoyance earning a quiet ‘whoopsie’ from the man-child in your lap.

“Wait and he believed him?”

Tiff’s question need only be answered with a single look alone, “He tried to use it as some bullshit excuse against our friendship. Like what the fuck does being married have to do with the two of us trying to be friends again?”

It was almost unnoticeable but you quickly caught on to the look Hayden and Tiff shared between themselves followed by Hayden's giggle letting you know you weren’t in on their secret. “No, what the hell was that?”

“What was what?” Tiff’s words were uttered around the saltine she began chewing on as she tried to avoid the way your eyes narrowed in on her. “Pregnancy brain?”

“You’re pregnant, not stupid.”

Hayden’s guffaw of a laugh surprised you as his body shook atop yours causing you to shake right along with him. “Oh you naive, silly, stupid little girl,” Hayden took his time sitting up somehow maneuvering his tall frame into criss-cross applesauce in the small space atop the bed, you had no time to object before his hands engulfed both sides of your face and he pressed his forehead against yours. “The kids been in love with you our whole lives, my sweet summer child.”

You scoffed shoving the man off of you as Tiff’s giggles mixed with Hayden’s hysterical laughter filled the room, the man had plopped back onto the bed in a raucous fashion, at least Tiff was trying to hide her amusement.

“One adjective would’ve worked just fine Hayden,” you tossed one of the pillows that fell to the floor at his head, only encouraging his laughter. A huff of annoyance left you as you watched the two adults look at each other conspiratorially once more before deciding to call it quits.

You listened as Tiff tried to get an apology out over Hayden’s laughter as you shook your head trying to keep a strong front but slowly failing. “I’m gonna go get your present…keep an eye on him I guess, please.”

Tiff nodded, waving you off before she spoke in Hayden’s direction, the last thing you heard was your name before shutting the door once more.

You made your way downstairs, laughter and loud voices came from the direction of the living room. Walking to the closet where you knew Carmy put your tote bag you quickly grabbed your keys and debated slipping your coat on before ultimately deciding it wouldn’t be necessary. You could hear Mikey’s voice as you made your way out the door, he and Richie recounting one of their many tales. You quickly slipped through the door making sure it closed behind you to not let any cold air in.

Rushing to your rental you popped the trunk reaching for the Christmas-themed gift bag. You reached up to shut your trunk wanting to hurry and get back inside when your eyes landed on the matte black box sitting there. A matching black bow atop it, the white ink that spelled out Carmy’s name glared back at you.

You let go of the trunk letting out an exasperated sigh. You hadn’t planned on buying him anything, but in the weeks leading up to your flight, you let your anxiety guide you after Nat dropped the bomb that Carmy would be home for Christmas and spent hours scouring the internet for something he might like. Against your better judgment, you closed the trunk, you’d give it to Mikey or Nat to hand off to him, you weren’t in any mood to pretend things between the two of you were okay. The sound of another car door closing caught your attention, Pete made his way towards you from across the street letting you glimpse at the Christmas lights on your childhood home, his hand went up in a little wave to greet you. You smiled, raising your hand holding the car keys to return his greeting.

Deciding to wait for him so you could walk in together, your eyes took in the aluminum tray grasped in his hands, “Oh shit.” The expletive left your lips as Pete finally took his place by your side, his goofy grin drew your gaze, and he balanced the tray in one hand to give you a side hug that you willingly leaned into. “Baby! I feel like I haven’t seen you in years!” You snorted at his lame joke considering you were boarding at his house. The two of you began your trek up the sidewalk.

“Oh Pete, your dad jokes never get old, but what’s in the tray?” You nodded your head at the silver rectangle in his hands.

Pete followed your vision before smiling back at you “Tuna casserole! Couldn’t come empty-handed you know.” Pete’s happy-go-lucky energy brought a small smile to your face, and the two of you stopped before entering the house. You turned to him, giving him a serious look before you reached out to gently squeeze his bicep.

“Oh you poor kind soul, they’re gonna fuck you up in there.” The words caused Pete’s smile to falter as you sent him one of your own before walking through the door and holding it open for Pete behind you. As you both walked through the front entrance you caught the tail end of what sounded like a hostile conversation, Pete helping to steal the show by making his presence known. You had half the mind to leave Pete to defend himself, but a part of you would’ve felt bad for letting someone as sweet as Pete take the heat alone. You walked around him sitting on the arm of the chair Mikey was sitting in, his arm moved to wrap around your waist unconsciously.

“You know it’s seven fishes, right Pete?” Mikey’s question drew the rest of the room's attention to the tray Pete was still happily holding. The room burst with voices as almost everyone took turns berating him. You leaned back slightly so you weren’t blocking Mikey’s view before turning your head in Richie’s direction hoping to gain his attention.

You reached behind Mikey’s back to pinch Richie’s arm his eyebrows shooting up an offended look on his features as his head turned to you, “What the fuck was that for Baby? Pete’s the one with the eighth fish.”

You rolled your eyes, palm swatting against the back of his neck, “That’s for letting Carmy think I was married…and to Hayden of all people.” Richie had the decency to look sheepish as he gave you an apologetic smile.

“I mean it was funny at that moment.” He raised his hands in surrender as you reached out to pinch him once more.

A small smile pulled at your lips as you maneuvered the gift bag around Mikey’s imposing body before handing it off to Richie, “Merry Christmas Richie, it's for you and Tiff so don’t open it without her,” You scolded, raising your eyebrows to further cement your message. “I know Mom would’ve done the same if she was still here.” You gave him the warmest smile you could muster.

He gently grabbed the gift bag out of your hand, a slight nod sent in your direction as he gave your hand a comforting squeeze. “Thank you, Baby, means a lot.” You smiled back quickly, turning back to the conversation, not wanting to get caught up in any more unwanted emotions.

Carmy’s voice suddenly broke through the onslaught of shit Pete was being subjected to, “Hey, family. Come on, let’s sit. Okay, dinner’s ready, alright.” Your eyes connected with his baby blues before you quickly looked away playing with Mikey’s fingers as they rested atop your thigh, leaning down when the older man began to whisper in your ear. Missing the way Carmy frowned at the glaringly obvious lack of ring on your finger.

Carmy did his best not to let the sight bother him, it wasn’t any of his business whether or not you wore your ring. Mikey gave him some cryptic ass advice in the pantry earlier about you, that he shouldn’t blindly trust everything he heard and instead should ask you himself, something Carmy tried and failed at doing once already today. The longer he stared at you he couldn’t help but wonder why you and Mikey were so touchy and where the hell was Hayden.

You hadn’t noticed Carmy’s eyes glued to you as you exchanged hushed whispers with Mikey, “Any chance on you and that idiot kissing and making up by the end of Christmas dinner?” Mikey’s words caressed your ears as he allowed you to distract yourself with his fingers.

A small shrug was your only response as you took a moment to gather your thoughts, “I want to Mikey, I do but now that I’ve seen him after all this time, I don’t think I can take just being friends with him anymore.”

Mikey’s quiet sigh rang through your ears as his other hand came to trap yours between his palms and give it a firm squeeze, “Baby.”

He had that tone in his voice again, like he was trying to get something through to you but you were just too stubborn to hear it, or worse you didn’t want to hear it. “Please don’t Mikey…it doesn’t mean anything when its not actually coming from the one person I want to hear it from.” You decided not to tack on the part about the feelings not being reciprocated because you knew it would annoy Mikey.

“I won’t force you to say anything tonight, but you gotta get this over with at some point.” Mikey gave your hand one last squeeze, “Plus m'not into all of that sappy shit but I’m rooting for you fuckin’ idiots.” Mikey let go of your hand before gently knocking his fist against your chin sending a wink your way and earning your quiet giggle.

“Yo Baby, Baby.” Your head shot up, eyes locking on Carmy’s as he called for your attention, “What is that? What the fuck is Pete holding?” You quickly looked at Pete feeling bad that he was on trial before finding Carmy’s eyes again, a small smile spread your lips as you sent a shrug in his direction, not wanting to be the one to rat Pete’s good intentions out.

Carmy nodded, lips pursing as he wiped his hands down his face and turned his attention to Stevie knowing he’d give him a straight answer, “You’re gonna be upset, but his heart was in the right place, Carm…It’s a tuna casserole.” The slight flush you could see creeping up Carmy’s neck indicated the toll this mishap was taking on him.

You leaned into Mikey more, settling into a more comfortable position as you drowned out the rest of Pete’s trial. You were ready for the day to be over and you hadn’t even eaten dinner yet, you could feel your eyes slowly drifting shut as Mikey’s warm body pressed into your side, each rise and fall of his broad chest pulling you into the purgatory before sleep and consciousness.

The sound of Nat’s voice jumping onto the tuna casserole bandwagon roused you from the little peacefulness you were beginning to find, she'd been so dead set on keeping her mom in check you'd only caught glimpses of her throughout the day. You watched with drowsy eyes as she snatched the dish from Pete’s hands presumably disposing of it, you softly gave Mikey’s thigh a pat before removing yourself from your seat with the intention of retrieving your fake husband and Tiff.

You stopped at the threshold of the door sending Pete a small smile, “If it makes you feel better Donna threatened to beat my mom’s ass when we showed up with collard greens and baked Mac n cheese our first Christmas here.” You gave a soft pat to his elbow hoping the anecdote helped him feel a little better.

As you moved to walk up the stairs you stopped to return the car keys to your tote bag.

Carmy stopped in the doorway of the kitchen as he found you standing in the hallway, he had half a mind to hide out in the kitchen until you left but knew he’d probably get shit from his mom about it.

He cleared his throat, gaining your attention as he took a few steps forward to lessen the distance between you. His hand raised to scratch the back of his neck, eyes not meeting yours as he prepared himself to interact with you, “Ahem, I uh I overheard what you said to Pete. I-I never got to say it in person but I uh, I’m sorry about your mom.”

You stared at Carmen surprised by the sincerity in his words as though your mom had passed recently, you gave him a small smile trying to dispel the sadness that began to swell up in you, “It's not like you killed her Carm, that's why they call it a terminal illness.”

Carmy’s eyebrows pinched together at your poor attempt at being humorous before he began picking at the loose thread on the sleeve of his sweater. “Did you uh get the flowers and t-the card?”

A small smile lined your lips as you thought back to the gesture before you nodded at him letting him know you received his condolences years ago.

“I uh I tried coming home b-but uh...Mikey fought me on it.”

You nodded as Carmy met your gaze, “I know Carm, I asked him not to let you,” you watched as he opened his mouth to protest. “You’d already gotten out, Carm, I couldn’t bring you back here…you know my mom was really proud of you though, right?” You smiled as his eyebrows raised in surprise at your question, your hand shot out before you thought better of it to grasp his and stop him fiddling with the thread.

A quiet sigh escaped him as your skin made contact with his, Carmy’s hand flexed against your palm letting his fingers gently press against yours as he fought off the urge to lace them together.

“I wanted you there Carm I did, but I was hurt and I didn’t know if I could grieve my mom with you by my side knowing how you felt about me.” Your hand dropped from where it delicately touched him as you sent him a small sad smile.

“Baby I-,”

You cut him off, not in the right mindset to get into whatever he was offering, you took a step back to the staircase creating distance between the two of you. “M’gonna get Tiff and Hayden for dinner, I’ll see you in there.”

Carmen was left alone at the bottom of the staircase, eyes still glued to where you stood just a moment ago. He closed his eyes trying to get a deep breath into his lungs. Carmy was trying to understand how he had ever deserved to have you in his life, he was a grade-A fucking asshole to you, and you were still nothing but kind to him. There were so many things Carmy wished he could do over when it came to you but life seemed to be leading the two of you in opposite directions and he wasn’t sure he’d ever get the chance to redeem himself.

“Are you sure you’re okay? I can call you a cab if you want.” You stood at the top of the staircase huddled against the wall with Hayden. Tiff exited the room ahead of Hayden and kindly let you know that they’d got to talking about Hayden’s pending divorce and that whatever high he was cruising on had taken a drastic turn as the sadness he was trying so hard to hide surfaced.

As you looked at him you could tell he wasn’t doing well, and whether he was having a bad trip or the emotions of his situation were finally beginning to hit him you couldn’t be sure. You reached out for his hand gripping it in yours and giving it a squeeze letting him know you were there for him.

His silence gave you a moment to think. It was surprising how far your relationship had come, the two of you having only met senior year of high school and bonded over your love for literature. Neither of you thought the friendship would blossom into what it was now, but after your falling out with Carmy, in a way, he filled the other man’s spot. Even after everything Carmy put you through you would always consider him your best friend but Hayden was a close second, having helped you during one of the roughest years of your life after your moms passing, he was your rock and you loved him for that. The least you could do now was return the favor and be there for him as much as you could.

Hayden’s hand squeezing yours brought you back to reality as your eyes landed on his face, a small forced smile already waiting. “You worry about me too much.”

You rolled your eyes, raising your eyebrows and imploring an actual answer out of him. He pulled you into a hug resting his chin atop your head, “We sure know how to pick 'em’ don’t we?”

A quiet laugh sounded from you at his words, the noise earned a chuckle from the man pressed against you. “Let’s just enjoy Christmas dinner, yeah.” You felt Hayden’s head move up and down in a nod before he released you and motioned for you to walk down the stairs ahead of him.

By the time you made it to the dining room everyone was seated and the only empty seats were directly across from Carmy so it wasn’t like you had any other choice but to dine with him in your eyeline. You walked in slowly at the commotion as Hayden moved to sit down, your eyes locked with Carmy’s at the same time something aggressively hit your thigh, causing you to wince.

A chorus of “Michael” reverberated around the dining room. You looked down at the sound of metal clanging against metal, one fork was next to your foot another a little ways in front of it. Bending down you scooped the two forks up in your hand. You looked around the table even more confused than you already were eyes darting to Mikey as he threw his arms open in greeting, “Baby! Nice of you and Hayden to join us, mind doing me a favor and handing me those forks?” Your eyes flashed to the forks in your hand before taking in everyone’s expressions around the table.

You had no clue what you walked into. You looked in Carmy and Nat’s direction, the two of them subtly shaking their heads, Hayden turned in his chair before shrugging his shoulders at you just as clueless as you were. Your eyes found Mikey’s once again a little unnerved by the look in his eyes, “They were just on the floor so I’ll just go wash them off real quick-.”

The sound of palms slamming against the table cut off your explanation causing you to flinch where you stood, eyes still glued to Mikey, “Sorry Baby, I’m sorry,” his hands raised in a placating gesture. “Just hand me the forks alright, don't needa wash ‘em off,” You gulped, nodding slowly as you took a few steps in Mikey’s direction. He carefully took them from your grip, and a mocking smile pulled at his lips.

You gave him a small nod quickly retreating to your seat. Quietly thanking Hayden as he helped you to shuffle your chair in. All was silent for a moment as everyone looked at each other, you doing everything in your power to avoid anyone’s eyes. A quiet laugh broke the silence.

“Of fucking course.”

Mikey’s eyes snapped back to Lee's zeroing in on the older man, “What did you just say?” The question sounded more like a demand to your ears.

Lee laughed again shrugging his shoulders and turning his head to glare at Mikey, “I said of course she’s gonna fucking do what you say the girl has no fucking backbone.”

An echo of “Lee,” and “What the fuck,” could be heard from both Richie and Cicero, one trying to diffuse the situation, the other not settling for the unwarranted disrespect thrown at you. Your head shot up a frown decorating your features as your eyes locked on Carmy’s, he shook his head in a silent plea for you to ignore it and not further feed into the chaos.

You ignored Carmy turning in your chair to face the geriatric old man, “What the fuck is that supposed to mean Lee?” Hayden’s fingers began drumming against the table. His stiff posture let you know he was ready for whatever was about to happen after noticing your irritation.

Lee faced you with a sardonic smile pressing into his lips “Is somebody gonna tell her? Do I have to tell her?” He looked around the table looking for anyone to take the reins from him, “I’m sorry that nobody's honest with you sweetheart, but you’re just a glorified lap dog.” He shrugged his shoulders as if in apology, “Just a bitch he keeps on a leash.”

Your mouth opened a little bit confused as to how this conversation became a personal attack on you.

The sound of Hayden kissing his teeth silenced whatever rebuttal you had planned. “Watch the way you fucking talk to her.” The calmness of his voice let you know he had the situation handled, not even looking at the older man as he addressed him.

Nat’s quiet call of your name pulled your attention to her. Her eyebrows sat high on her head as she implored you to do something about your guest with one look. You gave her a small nod before turning to try and stop Hayden, ignoring the way Carmy’s eyes followed your every move.

“Oh and you’re her lap dog then I guess!”

Hayden’s humorless chuckle punctuated the air, no one dared to speak, you were surprised to find both Mikey and Richie silent in the moment. “Listen, Lee. I don’t particularly fucking like you, but you’re lucky I respect Ms. Berzatto enough to not ruin the Christmas dinner she prepared for all of us. Now if I gotta beat your ass after dinner, fine by me but whatever animosity you got towards anyone at this table you leave Baby the fuck outta it.”

Lee’s irritated scoff was the only response given as a tense silence fell over the dinner table. Hayden’s hand gave your elbow a squeeze letting you know he was always in your corner.

You felt something hit your foot under the table gaining your attention. You turned to Nat who was keeping an eye on Mikey too worried about him popping off again to be paying attention to you. You felt the nudge again, eyes finding Carmen's, his eyebrows raised in a silent question, eyes searching your face to catch any remaining emotions, you smoothed out the frown on your face sending him a small nod to let him know you were fine.

The two of you were drawn back to the argument before you as the two men began berating each other again, voices growing louder by the second thankfully your name hadn’t come up again. You watched Mikey’s face lose any sort of emotion as Lee accused him of being medicated as your eyebrows drew into a frown confusion raced through you at the accusation. You felt your heart squeeze in your chest at Mikey’s reaction the sudden thought that the older man’s words had any truth to them felt like a betrayal to the man you considered a brother.

The table remained silent; the only sound filling the room was the ticking of a clock in the background, everyone did their best to not cause any reasons to incite more violence. The anxiety caused you to bounce your leg up and down unsure as to where the rest of this night was going, Hayden completely zoned out so even though he was right next to you, you felt alone unsure of what to do with yourself. You felt a foot gently tap the toe of your shoe, something Carmy used to do whenever you needed reassurance that everything would be okay and other forms of physical contact were impossible. His feet spread apart so you could reach across and slip your feet between his like a security blanket, a piece of protection you never realized you wanted until it was offered.

You turned your head, watching as Mikey pawned Pete’s fork from its set place, an uproar going around the table pleading with Mikey. You sat there silently watching the scene, if ten other people hadn’t already gotten through to Mikey, you were sure an eleventh voice joining the mix would be completely useless at this point.

Natalie’s voice cut through the chaos attention zeroed in on Mikey, “Michael. Please don’t do this.” You watched as Mikey focused his attention on his little sister, “I love you.” It was her final plea as Mikey seemed to be weighing his options. The discourse between the two continued as everybody watched with bated breath waiting to see what the next move would be.

Steve’s unwarranted giggle broke Michael’s focus, his rush of apologies being brushed off by Mikey all in the name of fun. Cicero decided he might be the one to finally get through to Mikey playing his hand as mediator. You watched Mikey’s erratic behavior in silence, you weren’t usually privy to this side of Mikey, never being in town long enough to experience it in person, always being told about them on phone calls with Nat. It scared you, and it wasn’t necessarily Mikey that was scaring you but knowing that his switch could be flipped in such a timely manner that had you worrying about his safety.

The argument was nowhere near resolved as Lee’s constant instigating kept fueling the fire. Mikey’s sudden movement to stand up caused your heart to race, you honestly couldn’t give two shits about Lee’s well-being, your only concern was Mikey and what was going through his head at that moment.

You held your head in your hands that were propped up on the table by your elbows, the impending headache beginning to make an appearance. The animal noises coming from Mikey’s direction do nothing to ease the ache behind your eyes. You did your best to drown out the two men.

The clapping around the table drew your head up as Donna danced into the dining room, you felt so exhausted you couldn’t even muster up a fake smile to appease her. “What did I miss?” Donna laughed as she made her way to her seat, a quiet “nothing” being her answer. “I missed something,” she said while sitting in her designated spot.

Donna’s eyes landed on Hayden as she let out another laugh “Jesus you look fucking miserable Hayden. I missed something.” You felt Hayden sit up in his chair as his elbow bumped into yours watching as he forced his lips into a pathetic smile, his hand absentmindedly playing with the fork that was sitting on the placemat.

“Not much Misses. B, just defending my wife’s honor from that cunt Lee.”

You rolled your eyes as the man threw his arm around you before leaning in to press a dramatic wet kiss into your temple, your hand quickly shot up to wipe the leftover evidence on your sleeve. A quiet wince escaped your lips as Carmy’s foot clumsily stepped on yours, noticing how he avoided eye contact with you.

Murmured confusion scattered around the table aside from Richie’s awkward choked laugh as Tiff glared at him, any hope for a somewhat peaceful family dinner squandered by Hayden’s remark. All eyes flocked to Donna as she let out a full belly laugh, hand coming down to hit the table. The same hand moved up to point at you and Hayden, “Now that’s fucking funny Hayden, the two of you…married! Carmy would die before he let that happen!” A shit-eating grin stretched across Hayden’s face as he sent a wink to the matriarch, watching as her laughter went on for a few moments longer before Carmy awkwardly cleared his throat at her words, his legs moving from against yours ever so slightly as you frowned in confusion at what the older woman meant trying to gain Carmy’s attention only for him to shift his focus to the other end of the table.

“Uh, Stevie, Stevie’s about to say grace, Ma,” Mikey interjected trying to stir Christmas dinner back on its rightful course, Donna looked appeased, eyes happily finding Stevie’s figure as she waited for him to begin. A small back and forth between Mikey and Stevie ensued before the latter began his prayer.

“Um…Hey. Uh.. that we’re all…” Michelle’s laugh interrupted her partner causing you to anxiously laugh but quickly stop at the soft pinch on your thigh earned from Nat. You fell silent as you listened to Stevie give what seemed more like an awkward ramble rather than a prayer.

You could feel Carmy’s eyes darting across your figure as Stevie gave his explanation of what he thought the seven fishes symbolized. “I think that spending time and using that time on the people that we love is how we show them that we love them.” You looked up in that moment, eyes connecting with Carmy’s piercing blue ones. Neither of you gave into the urge to look away, instead drinking each other in like two plants feeling the first drop of rain after a drought.

Your gazes were both drawn away by Donna’s quiet sniffles, a chorus of praises sent in her direction to calm her aching heart.

“You okay?” Natalie’s question caused you to flop back in your chair, eyes clenched shut, followed by Hayden’s quiet sigh. You knew all Nat had was good intentions and would always be the first one to put Donna’s mental well-being first, but you also knew what it felt like to feel so overstimulated that those two measly words would send you in a downward spiral.

“Do you know how much I fucking hate it when you ask me that? Do I not look okay Natalie?” Donna’s mood shifted just as quickly as it had been the whole day. Her unknown limit was reached in a minute.

“Not really.” Michelle’s subtle shade drew a hardly restrained laugh out of you, “Oh, fuck you Michelle.” Donna snapped before setting her sights on you, “Is something funny Baby? Hmm?” The question caused the lingering smile to immediately drop your back going straight against the chair, your head quickly shaking back and forth, clearing before answering Donna.

“No, sorry I’m just nervous.” You admitted head still on a swivel to ease Donna’s agitation.

You glanced at Carmy, his whole being sunken in as he looked at you as if your existence was exhausting him at this moment. Regardless of Carmen’s look you know your mom would’ve crucified your ass for walking into Donna Berzatto’s house and feeling comfortable enough to disrespect her not only to her face but with a bunch of her peers around.

“Are you motherfuckers okay?” Donna continued letting her subdued rage out the table silent to not enrage her any further. “Fuck you!” The smashing of glass as the plate hit the ground caused you to flinch, your leg knocking into Carmy’s from the sudden noise, his knee tapping yours twice to reassure you everything would be fine.

Donna made her exit while berating Natalie, who sat there speechless unaware of why her need to make sure her mom was well was taken as a personal attack. Lee’s unprovoked comment about Donna’s tirade irritated you along with Michelle’s comment about it being her worst moment.

It was funny to you how each and everyone sitting at this table would drag themselves here every year. To sit in Donna’s house, to eat Donna’s food. To reap the rewards of the countless hours of Donna’s hard work, only to dismiss her because she had become so overstimulated the only reaction she knew to give was unadulterated rage.

You saw Mikey’s hand move before the fork flew across the table narrowly missing Lee’s head, surprised to find yourself tucked against Hayden’s body as a form of protection just in case. The older man jumped up no longer tolerating the eldest Berzatto’s antics, Mikey followed suit the clattering of the dishes loud as he threw his side of the table. The two men tried to get to each other, you let Hayden know you were okay so he could help keep Mikey from abusing Lee.

Silence encompassed the room at the sound of a car driving through the side of the house, before the whole room was in an uproar once more. You stood up from your seat mouth dropping open at the Mercedes Benz now sitting in the dining room. Mikey’s voice shouted at Donna to open the door as Nat tightly grasped your hand trying to ground herself. She and Carmy were the only two remaining guests still sitting. Natalie’s tightening grasp on your hand drew your attention to the two younger Berzatto’s watching as Nat did her best to internalize what was happening while Carmy stared blankly past you.

Your head was pounding at that point, the small headache from earlier now felt more like a migraine. You slipped your hand from Nat’s grasp removing yourself from the dining room as quietly as you could, you quickly walked to the front door. Every bone in your body was screaming at you to walk out that door and not come back, to protect your peace. You plopped down on the porch step head resting against your knees. As much as you wanted to run, your heart wouldn’t allow you to leave the Berzatto siblings to this mess alone.

[gaylightisminetocommand]

.

[bloodied-dagger]

my “for you” page is fucked. Completely unusable

[alastyr-not-alastair]

Hhhungryyyyyyyyyyy

[moongothic]

The idea of my work getting scraped for AI garbage is nasty but I do have to remind myself that my work is mediocre anime shit at best that nobody in their right mind would want to recreate/copy so that's slightly comforting lmao

And Glazing the shit out of my work to poison those data sets would be quite fun too ngl

(But yeah the most frustrating part would be knowing that even if I started Glazing anything new I posted, even if I deleted all my old work, every single reblog would still exist and be out of my control)

[beanietopia]

choso has a porn addiction, plain and simple. every morning for him starts with the same: open up twitter, get his bottle of lotion, and scroll through his bookmarks until he can cum. he’s had girlfriends in the past, they all thought his addiction was gross. what girl would ever entertain a guy that jerked off to random girls getting creampied on twitter?

well, you, of course.

he messaged you on a random morning, ‘hey’, was all it said. you happened to have a slight porn addiction of your own, having filled your bookmarks for your own solo sessions. you didn’t realize your messages were open and felt your brow go up as you read his message. a click to his bio and there wasn’t much there, just the year he was born and 🇯🇵. your first instinct was to delete the message, but your curiosity got the best of you. you messaged back, investigated how he found your account, and choso revealed his intentions.

‘are you into the idea of sending some nsfw posts to each other?’

choso used to sext with his ex girlfriends, but none of them wanted to include porn. they found it weird and considered it cheating to look at videos while in a relationship. now here he was, randomly texting a stranger on the internet to get a quick nut. if he wasn’t palming his dick through his shorts right now, he’d actually think he looked a bit pathetic. it wasn’t until you said yes and started sending your bookmarked videos did he realize what he was getting himself into.

freeing his dick from his briefs, he started to stroke himself while imagining himself doing the things in the videos with you. he didn’t know what you looked like, hell, he wasn’t even sure you were who you said you were. but you were just as porn obsessed as he was, and he didn’t think you could get any better until you sent another message.

‘let me suck it while you play video games.’

it’s like you knew the exact words to say to get him off. choso hastily reciprocated, although it had become quite difficult to type with one hand. he confessed on how desperately he wanted to cum in your pussy and how you suck him in so well, not knowing that you too had started pleasuring yourself at the mere thought. it had been a while and you needed some action too, okay? his messages started getting further and further apart until he asked you to send a post he can finish to. bringing yourself back to reality for a quick moment to send him a creampie video, how could you have known his favorite genre? you found yourself soon chasing your own orgasm. the echoes of the moans coming from your phone had blended with yours, and you soon came undone on your fingers. 

once you remembered to look at your phone again, choso had let you know that he had made a mess, followed by a picture of his cum stained hand and torso. when you sent back a picture of your glistening fingers and soiled sheets, choso audibly moaned. what a pervert.

‘fuck, you’re making me hard… is same time tomorrow good with you?’

part 2

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uhh welp this is my first piece of work on tumblr LMFAO HEY GUYS! special shoutout to my pookie bears @gojoscinnamonroll @xixflower @takumasimp @webism for encouraging me and AAAAAAAA I HOPE SOMEBODY LIKES THIS,,,, i wanna keep posting on here so lmk what you think :3 ok bye beanie out

[themirokai]

I got this comment on a story from my Other AO3 Account this morning.

(Info redacted because I prefer keeping these accounts separate but no one follows me on the side blog I have for that account.)

The story was posted almost a year ago and is relatively “popular” by my average statistics even though it has tropes and themes that are big turnoffs for a lot of people (hence separate accounts). This popularity is undoubtedly because it’s a Marvel Loki story and that fandom is massive.

So there is obviously an algorithm or a bot scrubbing ao3 statistics and leaving this comment on fics that meet a certain metric with the main character of the fic inserted into the comment.

I had a little time to kill this morning so I decided to investigate further. And y’all this is so predatory. Come on this journey with me. It made me mad. It may make you mad.

First, if you go to Webnovel’s website, you HAVE to choose between male lead or female lead stories before you can go any further. WTF?

And that’s weird, but this gets so much worse. This is basically a pay-to-read site that has different subscription models. Which… okay BUT! The authors don’t get paid! Look at that comment again. They’re promising a supportive and nurturing community, but zero monetary compensation. It’s basically, “post your stuff here so we can get paid and you can get… nice vibes?” I mean look at this Orwellian writing:

Using the phrase “pay-to-read model” in the same sentence as “qualitative changes in lifestyles for authors” deliberately makes you think that you can get paid and maybe even make a living on this website. But that’s not actually what it says and authors will not receive one red cent.

Oh but wait, the worst is still to come. In case this breaks containment (which I kind of hope it does) this is where I mention that I’m a lawyer in the US.

I don’t do intellectual property or copyright law but I do read and write contracts for a living. So I went to look at their terms of service. It was fun!

Highlights the first, in which Webnovel gets a license to do basically whatever they want with content you post on their site. This is how they get to be paid for people reading authors’ writing without paying them anything.

Highlights the second, in which Webnovel takes no responsibility for illegally profiting off of fan fic. This all says that the writer is 100% responsible for everything the writer posts (even though only Webnovel is making money from it).

Highlights the third which say that by posting, the author is representing that they have the legal right to use and to let Webnovel use the content according to these terms. So if a writer posts fan fiction and Webnovel makes money from people reading the fan fiction, and the House of the Mouse catches wise, these sections say that that’s ALL on the writer.

So that’s a little skeevy to start off with but the thing that is seriously shitty and made me make this post was that these assholes are coming to ao3. They are actively recruiting people in comments on their fan fiction. And they are saying they are big fans of the character you’re writing about and that they share your interests.

They are recruiting fan fiction writers and giving every impression that you can make money from posting fan fiction on their site and hiding the fact that you absolutely cannot but they can make money off of you while you try, deep in their terms of service which no one but a lawyer who writes fan fic and has some time to kill will read.

I see posts on here regularly from people who don’t understand how this stuff works, don’t understand that they (and others) can not legally make a financial profit from fan fiction. And there are tons of people who will not take the time to dig into the details.

Don’t deal with these bastards. Fuck Webnovel.

[sharlsworld]

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆ to be loved loudly - 𝐋𝐍𝟒 𖤓

（ 𝗅𝖺𝗇𝖽𝗈 𝗇𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗂𝗌 𝗑 𝗐𝗈𝗅𝖿𝖿 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 ）

（ 𝗌𝗎𝗆𝗆𝖺𝗋𝗒 ）𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗅𝖺𝗇𝖽𝗈 𝗇𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗂𝗌 𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗍𝗌 𝗂𝗌 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗒𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝗄𝗇𝗈𝗐 𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝖽𝗈𝗐𝗇 𝖻𝖺𝖽 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗂𝗇 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝗁𝖾 𝗂𝗌 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗀𝗂𝗋𝗅𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽

✫ i feel like i have to say this but most of my smau’s are literally just random posts and rarely have a plot also lowk part 3 of walk em like a dog?? idk i somehow made her totos daughter without realizing 😭

🝮

yn

liked by pierregasly and 2,871,443 others

yn 🍋‍🟩

landonorris first

landonorris fuck i’m hard

⤷ yn what??

⤷ landonorris baby you can glance at me and it’s up

⤷ yn weirdo

⤷ landonorris don’t stop i’m close

⤷ yn WHAT THE FUCK LANDO??? this is public everyone can see this

⤷ landonorris ain’t no one gonna stop me from thirsting 💀 keep going i was so close

⤷ yn why am i dating you

⤷ landonorris well if i remember this correctly you said “i love pathetic men”

⤷ yn get out of my face

⤷ landonorris i came

⤷ yn i’m going to report your account

landonorris i’m gonna miss you when i scroll 😔

⤷ yn you’re sitting on my lap right now?

⤷ landonorris i just wanna be close to you

⤷ alex_albon loser 😂😂

⤷ lilymhe Now alex…

⤷ alex_albon I was joking only good boys sit on their gfs laps fr

⤷ landonorris good boys?

⤷ alex_albon are you not a good boy?

⤷ landonorris i’m the best boy ho

⤷ mclaren What am I looking at

oscarpiastri I feel molested

maxverstappen1 Lando is horny 24/7: confirmed

georgerussell63 Chile anyways so

🝮

landonorris

liked by tomholland2013 and 3,890,516 others

landonorris i love my girlfriend so much everyday i wake up i thank god that i’m able to call her my girlfriend no one compares she is perfect and so funny and so beautiful and so kind i love her more than all the stars in the sky in every lifetime and universe i will find her because she is my one love

yn so sappy i love it

⤷ landonorris always for you honey

charles_leclerc Average Lando post

alex_albon super cool super rich super popular nepo baby gf who has everyone in the palm of her hand x loser bf who looks at her like she hung the stars in the sky is my favorite love trope

⤷ landonorris i’m cool and rich and popular as well?

⤷ alex_albon not as much as y/n

⤷ landonorris true

danielricciardo Pussy whipped

⤷ landonorris damn right you would be too

lilymhe So cutie patootie

georgerussell63 Lando please, you’re making all of us look like bad boyfriends.

f1 We love our talented, athletic, beautiful, multilingual queen

georgerussell63 y/n blink twice if you’re being held hostage

♥︎ yn

⤷ georgerussell63 That’s a sign. Help is on the way dear

alexandrasaintmleux Tell her I’m in need of a date at the mall

⤷ landonorris i’m not her assistant?

⤷ alexandrasaintmleux Aren’t you?

⤷ landonorris ms wolff said she is available any time for you. but not for me ig.

francolapinto i was the line leader in 3rd grade 🙂‍↕️

⤷ landonorris seriously? on my own post? i’ll kill you

⤷ carlossainz55 That escalated quickly

⤷ landonorris i zont play about my girl

⤷ francolapinto well i tried

⤷ landonorris try again and see what happens ❤️

🝮

yn

liked by lilamoss and 4,461,220 others

yn lan saw it first

landonorris first

⤷ carlossainz55 second

⤷ charles_leclerc third

⤷ oscarpiastri fourth

landonorris lawd have mercy 😫 i’m about to bust

⤷ yn awh thanks babe

landonorris you’re so cute i can’t get enough of you

landonorris most beautiful girl i have ever laid eyes on how did i get so lucky

⤷ yn you sweet talker 💌

⤷ oscarpiastri Seriously though, how did you get her to date you I’m still baffled

⤷ landonorris years and years of begging, endless amounts of gifts and flowers, zero contact with any females i’m not related to, and charisma 😎

⤷ oscarpiastri I wonder how much money you’ve spent on her over the years

⤷ landonorris you do not want to know 😎

⤷ landonorris forgot to mention i became best friends with her family and got invited to all vacations, holidays, and birthdays so she couldn’t avoid me 😎

alexandrasaintmleux Heaven sent 🪽🤍

⤷ yn thank ya angel baby 👼🏽

francisca.cgomes ooh lala 🙉

landonorris i was the line leader in 3rd grade

⤷ francolapinto seriously?

⤷ pierregasly You made it to 3rd grade?

⤷ landonorris shut your butt

⤷ pierregasly You first

🝮

alexandrasaintmleux

liked by landonorris and 871,054 others

alexandrasaintmleux Aquí me quedo

yn mi chica 🙂‍↕️

⤷ alexandrasaintmleux mi amor 😘

landonorris release her now. give her back. i have not seen her in ages. this is not funny.

⤷ alexandrasaintmleux You seen her at lunch? Besides she love it over here

⤷ yn yeah i love it over here

⤷ landonorris don’t make me send out an amber alert

⤷ oscarpiastri Please not again you had all of Italy in a state of panic last time

landonorris why are you matching with my wife?? just say you hate me

⤷ alexandrasaintmleux 😏

⤷ landonorris did you just threaten me?

⤷ alexandrasaintmleux 😭

⤷ landonorris you this is funny? i’m getting grey hairs woman GIVE MY GIRLFRIEND BACK FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I’M HAVING WITHDRAWALS PLEASE

landonorris fuck she so hot

landonorris who’s the hottie on the right???

landonorris i will find you and i will make you regret hiding my wife from me

⤷ yn lando please. you have my location

⤷ landonorris oh silly me 😅 coming to get you be there in 10 minutes ❤️

⤷ yn i’m 30 minutes away?? do not put yourself in danger lando i’ll smack you upside the side

⤷ landonorris baby, danger is my middle name 😎

⤷ yn oh just die

⤷ landonorris okay i’m getting a lot of mixed signals idk if you want me dead or safe?? like my head hurts please choose ❤️

⤷ yn die

⤷ landonorris whatever you say baby ❤️

🝮

yn

liked by naraaziza and 3,451,802 others

yn the legend lives on

landonorris who’s the hottie behind the camera 😍

⤷ alex_albon *debbie ryan smirk* *raises hand shyly* 🙂‍↕️

⤷ landonorris shut your face do not steal the spotlight from my lady

⤷ landonorris as i was saying…who’s the hottie behind the camera 😍😍😫

⤷ yn shut your face

⤷ landonorris mmm i love dirty talk

⤷ yn don’t make me get a restraining order

⤷ landonorris kay, i’ll meet you in the hotel room 😈

alexandrasaintmleux Unfortunately

georgerussell63 My petite prince 👑

⤷ landonorris yk what ain’t petite though?

⤷ georgerussell63 Was just trying to have some light hearted banter 😔

francolapinto dang

⤷ alex_albon alright lil bro do you have some sort of death wish or something?

⤷ oscarpiastri I’ve seen him cuss out this server at a gala cause he complimented her dress…it was pretty entertaining tbh but I think he was gay

⤷ carlossainz55 One time I told her she looked pretty (purely platonic she’s a baby) and that night I woke up to him sitting in the corner of my room. Almost shit myself.

⤷ lewishamilton Not to be a gossip or anything but like he knocked this guy out in my garage once cause he gave her a weird compliment and he was like 40, I think that’s when Toto finally accepted him

francolapinto you two are endgame fr🤞🏽

⤷ landonorris right? (don’t try to lock your doors i’ll find a way in)

🝮

landonorris

liked by judebellingham and 3,890,154 others

landonorris my wife (she ain’t gonna be able to walk tomorrow)

alex_albon just put the fries in the bag bro

lewishamilton Let’s put the phone down for a bit bud

oscarpiastri Please, this can’t be healthy. I’m sick of hearing you two every weekend

⤷ landonorris sorry osc i can’t function without her my body starts to shut down

georgerussell63 How many PowerPoints do I need to make?? ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

maxverstappen1 Get the wheelchair ready

lando.jpg my cute amazing talented tan beautiful funny sexy hot sweet wife

⤷ yn so when are you gonna stop calling me your wife and actually make me one?

⤷ lando.jpg soon baby, trust me

⤷ danielricciardo This actually sounded so sweet

pierregasly My kinda guy 🤝🏽

yn my dad see’s these

⤷ landonorris are you cereal?? and you’ve never told me??? i’m to young to die

lilymhe babygirlll 😍😍

⤷ landonorris please, not today

mclaren Please stop posting things like this Lando it is bad for our image

⤷ landonorris that’s telling me to stop breathing I CANT it’s just who i am

charles_leclerc Okay but why is she so good at tennis?

⤷ yn what am i not good at? 😂

⤷ charles_leclerc Being nice 😖

⤷ yn i’m very nice just not to you

⤷ charles_leclerc I’ll sue you

⤷ landonorris I’ll drown you ❤️

🝮

yn

liked by brock.purdy13 and 5,153,403 others

yn my favorite puppy dog 🤍

landonorris awhhh you do love me 😘

landonorris ugh i’m touched

landonorris baby i’d follow you to the ends of the earth if you asked me to

landonorris sweetest brat ever

landonorris i’ve never loved anyone or anything the way i love you

landonorris my one love forever

landonorris i’ll never get tired of loving you

landonorris there are no words that can describe the love i have for you

landonorris you have me wrapped around your finger

landonorris you’re so perfect i cannot fathom your beauty

landonorris most precious soul ever

landonorris i can’t imagine my life without you, you’ve changed me for the better

landonorris the yin to my yang

landonorris you complete me

landonorris i was made to love you

landonorris let’s fuck 🌹

⤷ oscarpiastri Almost had it

⤷ landonorris I CANT CHANGE WHO I AM OSCAR I WAS BORN LIKE THIS DID YOU NOT HEAR ME SAY I WAS MADE TO LOVE HER I’VE BEEN YEARNING FOR HER MY ENTIRE LIFE OSCAR LET ME LIVE

⤷ francolapinto a man who yearns is a man who earns ☝🏼

⤷ landonorris does this have some sort of double meaning?? cause i’ll kill you fr 🤞🏽

landonorris as i was saying, let’s fuck 💐

⤷ yn kay, i’ll meet you in the hotel room 😈

⤷ georgerussell63 IS SOMEBODY GONNA MATCH MY FREAK?? IS SOMEBODY GONNA MATCH MY NASTAYYYY???

[artisimpossible]

Saw a fun little conversation on Threads but I don't have a Threads account, so I couldn't reply directly, but I sure can talk about it here!

I've been wanting to get into this for awhile, so here we go! First and foremost, I wanna say that "Emmaskies" here is really hitting the nail on the head despite having "no insider info". I don't want this post to be read as me shitting on trad pub editors or authors because that is fundamentally not what's happening.

Second, I want to say that this reply from Aaron Aceves is also spot on:

There are a lot of reviewers who think "I didn't enjoy this" means "no one edited this because if someone edited it, they would have made it something I like". As I talk about nonstop on this account, that is not a legitimate critique. However, as Aaron also mentions, rushed books are a thing that also happens.

As an author with 2 trad pub novels and 2 trad pub anthologies (all with HarperCollins, the 2nd largest trad publisher in the country), let me tell you that if you think books seem less edited lately, you are not making that up! It's true! Obviously, there are still a sizeable number of books that are being edited well, but something I was talking about before is that you can't really know that from picking it up. Unlike where you can generally tell an indie book will be poorly edited if the cover art is unprofessional or there are typoes all over the cover copy, trad is broken up into different departments, so even if editorial was too overworked to get a decent edit letter churned out, that doesn't mean marketing will be weak.

One person said that some publishers put more money into marketing than editorial and that's why this is happening, but I fundamentally disagree because many of these books that are getting rushed out are not getting a whole lot by way of marketing either! And I will say that I think most authors are afraid to admit if their book was rushed out or poorly edited because they don't want to sabotage their books, but guess what? I'm fucking shameless. Café Con Lychee was a rush job! That book was poorly edited! And it shows! Where Meet Cute Diary got 3 drafts from me and my beta readers, another 2 drafts with me and my agent, and then another 2 drafts with me and my editor, Café Con Lychee got a *single* concrete edit round with my editor after I turned in what was essentially a first draft. I had *three weeks* to rewrite the book before we went to copy edits. And the thing is, this wasn't my fault. I knew the book needed more work, but I wasn't allowed more time with it. My editor was so overworked, she was emailing me my edit letter at 1am. The publisher didn't care if the book was good, and then they were upset that its sales weren't as high at MCD's, but bffr. A book that doesn't live up to its potential is not going to sell at the same rate as one that does!

And this may sound like a fluke, but it's not. I'm not naming names because this is a deeply personal thing to share, but I have heard from *many* authors who were not happy with their second books. Not because they didn't love the story but because they felt so rushed either with their initial drafts or their edits that they didn't feel like it lived up to their potential. I also know of authors who demanded extra time because they knew their books weren't there yet only to face big backlash from their publisher or agent.

I literally cannot stress to you enough that publisher's *do not give a fuck* about how good their products are. If they can trick you into buying a poorly edited book with an AI cover that they undercut the author for, that is *better* than wasting time and money paying authors and editors to put together a quality product. And that's before we get into the blatant abuse that happens at these publishers and why there have been mass exoduses from Big 5 publishers lately.

There's also a problem where publishers do not value their experienced staff. They're laying off so many skilled, dedicated, long-term committed editors like their work never meant anything. And as someone who did freelance sensitivity reading for the Big 5, I can tell you that the way they treat freelancers is *also* abysmal. I was almost always given half the time I asked for and paid at less than *half* of my general going rate. Authors publishing out of their own pockets could afford my rate, but apparently multi-billion dollar corporations couldn't. Copy edits and proofreads are often handled by freelancers, meaning these are people who aren't familiar with the author's voice and often give feedback that doesn't account for that, plus they're not people who are gonna be as invested in the book, even before the bad payment and ridiculous timelines.

So, anyway, 1. go easy on authors and editors when you can. Most of us have 0 say in being in this position and authors who are in breech of their contract by refusing to turn in a book on time can face major legal and financial ramifications. 2. Know that this isn't in your head. If you disagree with the choices a book makes, that's probably just a disagreement, but if you feel like it had so much potential but just *didn't reach it*, that's likely because the author didn't have time to revise it or the editor didn't have time to give the sort of thorough edits it needed. 3. READ INDIE!!! Find the indie authors putting in the work the Big 5's won't do and support them! Stop counting on exploitative mega-corporations to do work they have no intention of doing.

Finally, to all my readers who read Café Con Lychee and loved it, thank you. I love y'all, and I appreciate y'all, and I really wish I'd been given the chance to give y'all the book you deserved. I hope I can make it up to you in 2025.

[valeriehalla]

actual writing advice

1. Use the passive voice.

What? What are you talking about, “don’t use the passive voice”? Are you feeling okay? Who told you that? Come on, let’s you and me go to their house and beat them with golf clubs. It’s just grammar. English is full of grammar: you should go ahead and use all of it whenever you want, on account of English is the language you’re writing in.

2. Use adverbs.

Now hang on. What are you even saying to me? Don’t use adverbs? My guy, that is an entire part of speech. That’s, like—that’s gotta be at least 20% of the dictionary. I don’t know who told you not to use adverbs, but you should definitely throw them into the Columbia river.

3. There’s no such thing as “filler”.

Buddy, “filler” is what we called the episodes of Dragon Ball Z where Goku wasn’t blasting Frieza because the anime was in production before Akira Toriyama had written the part where Goku blasts Frieza. Outside of this extremely specific context, “filler” does not exist. Just because a scene wouldn’t make it into the Wikipedia synopsis of your story’s plot doesn’t mean it isn’t important to your story. This is why “plot” and “story” are different words!

4. okay, now that I’ve snared you in my trap—and I know you don’t want to hear this—but orthography actually does kind of matter

First of all, a lot of what you think of as “grammar” is actually orthography. Should I put a comma here? How do I spell this word in this context? These are questions of orthography (which is a fancy Greek word meaning “correct-writing”). In fact, most of the “grammar questions” you’ll see posted online pertain to orthography; this number probably doubles in spaces for writers specifically.

If you’re a native speaker of English, your grammar is probably flawless and unremarkable for the purposes of writing prose. Instead, orthography refers to the set rules governing spelling, punctuation, and whitespace. There are a few things you should know about orthography:

English has no single orthography. You already know spelling and punctuation differ from country to country, but did you know it can even differ from publisher to publisher? Some newspapers will set parenthetical statements apart with em dashes—like this, with no spaces—while others will use slightly shorter dashes – like this, with spaces – to name just one example.

Orthography is boring, and nobody cares about it or knows what it is. For most readers, orthography is “invisible”. Readers pay attention to the words on a page, not the paper itself; in much the same way, readers pay attention to the meaning of a text and not the orthography, which exists only to convey that meaning.

That doesn’t mean it’s not important. Actually, that means it’s of the utmost importance. Because orthography can only be invisible if it meets the reader’s expectations.

You need to learn how to format dialogue into paragraphs. You need to learn when to end a quote with a comma versus a period. You need to learn how to use apostrophes, colons and semicolons. You need to learn these things not so you can win meaningless brownie points from your English teacher for having “Good Grammar”, but so that your prose looks like other prose the reader has consumed.

If you printed a novel on purple paper, you’d have the reader wondering: why purple? Then they’d be focusing on the paper and not the words on it. And you probably don’t want that! So it goes with orthography: whenever you deviate from standard practices, you force the reader to work out in their head whether that deviation was intentional or a mistake. Too much of that can destroy the flow of reading and prevent the reader from getting immersed.

You may chafe at this idea. You may think these “rules” are confusing and arbitrary. You’re correct to think that. They’re made the fuck up! What matters is that they were made the fuck up collaboratively, by thousands of writers over hundreds of years. Whether you like it or not, you are part of that collaboration: you’re not the first person to write prose, and you can’t expect yours to be the first prose your readers have ever read.

That doesn’t mean “never break the rules”, mind you. Once you’ve gotten comfortable with English orthography, then you are free to break it as you please. Knowing what’s expected gives you the power to do unexpected things on purpose. And that’s the really cool shit.

5. You’re allowed to say the boobs were big if the story is about how big the boobs were

Nobody is saying this. Only I am brave enough to say it.

Well, bye!

[angelsforthenight]

i could eat that girl for lunch… (ellie williams)

ways you can help gaza🇵🇸

summary: you post cute pictures on your story in the hopes of gaining a certain girl’s attention… luckily you get more than what you anticipated ;)

cw: mdni, fem!reader, texting, cunnilingus, desperate top!ellie, teasing sub!reader, cannibalistic metaphors, cursing, ellie is goofy lmao

you’re this close to screaming. the winged eyeliner on your left eye somehow keeps fucking up; either looking too splotchy or shorter than your right one. what’s pissing you off the most is the fact that you aren’t even going anywhere… getting all dolled up just to take it all off in 15 minutes, just to post cute little photos on your story and, of course, just to get her attention.

ellie williams. the name rolled off your tongue with such velvety sleek. every single one of your friends knows her name; has had to endure through your countless obsessive gushes.

you two had met during a party. having been in a drunken haze, you barely remember the first conversation that sparked such an interest, but you do remember her gin breath against your ear: asking/shouting, amidst the blaring music, if you had wanted to go somewhere a little more quieter. the night ended up in you being fingered in her car, before being driven back home by her. a freckle-faced angel in a leather jacket coated with small pins and badges. you were immediately hooked. but it’s been a week since then, and you two haven’t spoken. having achieved her number, you thought of messaging, but didn’t want to come across as desperate, even though you so are.

you thank instagram suggested for bringing you her account on a platter; being filled with niche, introverted posts of every cool-looking thing but her face. she doesn’t even have a “me” highlights! you can’t tell if her lack in posting her face is a blessing or a curse. so here you are, getting ready to post on your story since you followed her the day before. the skin around your eye is starting to sting by the amount of times you’ve been wiping and restarting your eyeliner. it needs to be perfect. you’ve orchestrated all this to be perfect. you take a deep breath and focus, striving to get the perfect wing.

“thank fuck.” you murmur under your breath once you finally get it right, before enveloping your lips in lipstick. you admire yourself in the mirror once done. you look fucking amazing.

since you spent way too long putting on your makeup, it wouldn’t be fair to yourself to only post one picture, so you post a couple. a mirror picture following up a layout of 4 images with the perfect song in the background. a little smile tugs at your lips as you replay the story two, three, four times before setting it on do not disturb and finding something else to do. your heart pounds at the thought of ellie seeing it, praying that she’ll interact. even a simple like will do.

after removing your makeup and getting into your pyjamas, you click on a movie to pass time, setting your phone on do not disturb. half an hour passes, and you’ve been neurotically checking your phone for a sign of ellie to appear on your notifications, but nothing. you check your story to see if she’s seen it but again, nothing. another hour passes, and you check for any sign of ellie. nada. look at my story, you freak! are the words etched in your head, words you wished you could telepathically scream at her. you remember you set your phone on do not disturb for a reason, so you place it far away and focus on finishing the film.

a while later, you’re slumped on your couch on the verge of falling asleep. the movie’s ended and it was so boring that you’re finding it hard to keep your eyes open. you decide to check your do not disturb notifications one last time before taking a nap, until your eyes fall on the name ‘ellie.’ you immediately jerk up, awake and alert: your thumb automatically pressing the notification centre so you can see what it reads.

seventeen minutes ago.

ellie liked your story

ellie liked your story

ellie replied to your story: doll face

ellie replied to your story: you need a seat? lemme volunteer 🙏🙏

a shit-eating grin lights up your face. fucking finally! not once but twice! you excitedly draw your knees up to your chest, eager fingers tapping away, ready to respond - regardless of how long you’d been waiting for her texts. play it cool….

y/n: hahaha thank u thank u <3

y/n: (replied) oh word?

you’re surprised and very happy when you see the ‘typing…’ your heart doing goddamn backflips.

ellie: wooooord

ellie: literally cannot stop replaying ur story… bring that over here 🙁

ellie: come over

!!! your heart sinks all the way down to your ass. the hell does she mean come over?

y/n: ur not serious lmaoaoaooa

ellie: i’m being deadass,,, come over.

you look at the time. it’s almost 1 in the morning.

y/n: idek where u live bru😭😭😭😭

y/n: if anything you should come over since you’ve driven me to my house b4

ellie: mmm nahhhh

you blink in disbelief when ellie sends her location over. she’s not kidding.

y/n: girl i look bummy… i don’t even have any makeup on anymore :< took it off

ellie: i really don’t care

ellie: plsplspsls come over

ellie: u won’t regret it……………. trust 🤓🤓

next thing you know you’re leaving your house in your plaid shorts and a silly graphic tee. thankfully, ellie only lives 10 minutes away, so you take a bus before walking up to her apartment.

y/n: i’m cominggg

ellie: LOL yeaa you will be coming real soon 😇😇😇

though you cringe at her text, your body betrays you; your stomach forming a deep pit. she’s so sultry and playful you don’t know even know what to think. and there goes your heart again, hastily beating away like there’s no tomorrow. you reach the door, a trembling hand raising up to knock.

“hi.” ellie beams, smiling like an idiot. her eyes seize you from head to toe, “nice fit.”

“told you i looked bummy...” you mumbled, trying your best not to seem nervous. ellie moves aside so you can come in. her apartment smells exactly like she does; that faint campfire scent, conjoined with a forest-ey musk. a forest fire you were more than willing to burn in.

“so…“ you begin, with nothing prepared to follow up after that.

“sooooooo….” ellie repeats blithely.

“it’s been a week since… you know…” you whisper, awkwardly shifting your legs.

“since…?” ellie blinks, furrowing her eyebrows. she’s taunting you, trying to play innocent when it’s pretty fucking obvious what you’re on about.

“the party.” you respond, entertaining her coyness for no reason.

“party?” ellie pretends to think, looking up at nothing. “oh!! yeah… jesse’s one.” she smirks.

you smirk back, furrowing your eyebrows in amusement. “you could do so much better at playing dumb, y’know…”

“you think so?” ellie narrows her eyes, tilting her head as she steps closer. the impish smirk on her face never leaves. she’s having fun. you both are.

“yup. for your own good, don’t choose acting as a career.”

“for my own good?”

“for your own good.” you haven’t even realised how close you two are to each other now, daring eyes locked with another pair of daring eyes. takes one to know one. a silence permeated with tension fills the room.

“c’mere…” ellie finally mumbles before cupping your face with both hands and bringing you in for a kiss. you’re quick to melt in her grasp, your hand finding it’s way to ellie’s hair, giving it a playful tight squeeze that elicits a quiet groan from her. her hands, those goddamn hands, then move to your waist, pulling you closer. you two don’t even waste time before you’re making out with such fervor. save the sweetness for later, it’s the hunger that’s on display for now. the memory of her lips were starting to slip away from your mind and you’re glad you’re here to reboot it.

once you pull away, ellie’s eyes drift to something behind you. you follow her gaze, only for your eyes to land on a chair in the middle of the goddamn living room. it’s so random that you can’t help but burst out laughing.

“why is there a chair?” you ask in the midst of your laughing fit. it’s not even that funny, but the laughing is helping with your nerves.

“it’s for you.” ellie giggles too, a light pink tint on her cheeks that’s hard to miss.

“me?” you blink rapidly, your gaze darting from the chair to ellie, “do i sit?” you ask stupidly.

“no, you stand.” sarcasm laces her tone, as she giggles a little more, “go sit.”

“don’t order me around like i’m your dog.” you respond playfully, but you do as she says. despite your ‘tough’ front, you’d do anything she’d tell you to. guess she was being literal about offering you a seat…

ellie grins down at you, angling your chin up so you’re looking at her. you can feel the heat start to prickle in your face, down your neck and pervading the rest of your body. her thumb traces along your bottom lip, slightly dragging it down. there’s that same darkened look she had back in her car, one that makes you feel so small.

“so cute… like a human deer.” she murmurs distractedly, almost like she’s talking to herself instead of you. your head grows fuzzy, blushing even more. you mindlessly squeeze your thighs together, trying to ease the growing heat in between. ellie notices.

“you doing okay?” she softly asks, unable to mask the smug look on her face. you nod quietly. with her eyes kept on you, she lowers down until she’s on her knees, her smile growing. she kisses the top of both your kneecaps in such a tender way it sends tingles down your spine.

“can i eat you?” she breathes, her voice hollow and needy. it takes a second for those words to register in your brain.

“you…” you trail off. ellie’s gaze is very, very distracting. so intense and intrusive. she patiently waits for your answer, resting her chin on top of your knees. how can someone look so adorable and intimidating at the same time?

“please?” she adds, and you smile. a realisation has just dawned on you: you like to make her wait.

“eat me?” you cock your head to the side in feigned confusion. now it’s your turn to play dumb.

“yeah… like, your pussy.” ellie mumbles, becoming so desperate that it’s funny. she needed to be humbled at least a little. “i want a taste…”

“yeah?” you mock, and ellie’s face warps into a frown. “stop teasing me.”

“it’s only payback.” you shrug.

“for what?” ellie whines.

“for taking a week to text me.”

ellie stares at you for a moment. “then let me make it up to you…” her eyes travel down to your clamped thighs, wanting to open them up so bad. truth is, you’d let her devour you. chew you up like a deranged creature and watch her greedily lick the blood from her fingers. but teasing her was just so damn fun.

“aren’t your knees getting tired?” you tease, cupping the side of her face as she stares up at you with puppy eyes. it’s getting hard to resist. ellie immediately shakes her head.

“for you? never.” she whispers. your grin broadens in satisfaction. such sweet words. meaningless? maybe, but cute nonetheless.

“fine…” you sigh, leaning back and gesturing for ellie to go forth. ellie’s face lights up like a bulb, eagerly parting your legs. the movement makes you shiver, as you can feel the heated moisture of your arousal seep through your underwear. despite your shorts still being on, ellie’s lips travel up, both hands gripping your sides as her lips leave fond, wet kisses along your inner thigh. her teeth clench around the hem of your shorts, letting out a muffled chuckle as she playfully pulls your shorts down with her teeth. she’s kidding around but that’s one of the hottest things you’ve ever seen in your life.

you adjust your knees so that your shorts can be pulled down. you’re so wet your underwear is fucking see-through. you just know she’s about to say something.

“someone’s real excited-“

“shut up and keep going.” you hastily cut her off out of embarrassment. ellie laughs, glancing at you one more time before leaning back down again, dragging her ardent tongue up your inner thigh. you gasp quietly, and that little noise influences her to do more, letting out a sigh of her own; the sort of sigh you do when relaxing in a hot bath, or when pissing after holding it in for so long… like she’s needed this. you’re startled when ellie drags her tongue right in the center of your clothed heat, your breath hitching. you want more.

ellie’s teasing is relentless and mean. she sucks your clit through your underwear, eyes on you; observing the way your hips are desperately buckling up, the way your thighs are twitching.

“so mean…” you whine as ellie flicks and rolls her tongue against your underwear.

“did you want something?” ellie blinks. again with the coyness. you scowl and ellie grins in return.

“you can’t outdo the do-er, babe.” she chirps, pulling the drenched underwear off your legs. she opens your legs wide, staring at your pussy like it’s the best piece of artwork she’s ever seen. you can practically see sparkles in her eyes. you shiver when you feel her fingers pry your cunt open.

“so fucking hungry for you…” she whispers, her breathing shallow and her eyes glazed-over. she gets to work immediately, a firm trail up your vulva before kissing it with her lips. a fleshed moan doesn’t fail to escape your own lips, as your eyes flutter shut. of course she’d be good at this.

ellie moans too, gripping your thighs and pulling you closer, burying her face in between your legs as she goes to town on you. she’s moving like she’s starving, like she hasn’t eaten for weeks and has been presented with a banquet.

her lips tug at your folds, your pussy slick with a mixture of your arousal and her spit. every single time her lips hit your clit it elicits yet another strong reaction from you. she’s so vigilant that she’s quick to notice that that’s your most delicate spot, so she abuses it; kissing it and pulling on it, her head shaking as she pleases you with her tongue. you nourish her with hushed praises: ones like “yes, yes…” or “you’re doing so good” to keep her going. it fuels ellie like no other, and drives her to go harder, a little faster.

her movements are so consistent and perfect that you could froth in the mouth right here and now. you grip her hair tightly, and ellie adores it: groaning happily when you squeeze too tight. you mindlessly push ellie’s head closer to your pussy, feeling the tip of her nose buried in. your moans begin to crescendo. you’re in fucking ecstasy.

“getting close, are we?” ellie pants, her thumb rubbing your clit in slow, teasing drags as she resumes sucking on your cunt.

“i’m gonna cum… i’m cumming… e-ellie…” you babble, tears threatening to pour; and it isn’t just the eye tears we’re talking about here…

“yeah? you gonna let yourself go?” ellie stares up at you, her voice a little higher and breathier. her face is warped into one of pleasure, like she’s the one being fucked.

“yeah… please ellie, i’m really close…” you whine: barely coherent, light tears streaming down your face. ellie chuckles at how adorable you look, taking a second to appreciate how good you look when needy. she dives back in, her nails digging into your thigh as her mouth moves with the perfect vigour to push you off the edge. and oh, you do.

one last strong lick gets you off: your spine bending backwards, same as your head as you let out a strangled scream. you grip her hair tightly, your eyes momentarily rolling to the back of your head as ellie purposely continues to extend the high a little bit. eventually, she pulls back. the both are you are completely out of breath - huffing and panting like dogs.

you slump back in your chair, completely out of it and in a daze. ellie smiles.

“you okay?” she murmurs, appreciating your cute, spent look. you nod quietly in response.

“fuck, my knees.” she mumbles, before sitting back and stretching them. you laugh a little.

“there was no need for the chair.” you reply.

“i know… but i wanted to. it was hot.”

“it was.” you smile. you’re glad you decided to get dolled up for your story tonight.

a/n: i’m back! i’ve been so caught up in school that i haven’t been able to post fics as much but i’ll try 2 be more active :33 i’m absolutely obsessed with billie’s lunch so i made an ellie fic based off of it. hope u enjoyed and if u have any requests leave them in the ask inbox !!!

[fading-event-608]

1000 NOTES IN THE LAST DAY GOT FALASTIN AROUND 130$. THAT'S 13 FUCKING CENTS PER REBLOG.

I CAN'T RELAX FOR ONE FUCKING DAY. EVERY TIME I THINK I CAN TAKE A BREAK IT BITES ME IN THE ASS BECAUSE WHAT? IF I DON'T SCREAM AT TUMBLR USERS FOR 8 FUCKING HOURS SHE GETS NO FUCKING DONATIONS. IF I DON'T MAKE NEW POSTS EVERY TWO FUCKING DAYS WE GET THIS BULLSHIT.

OH ARE YOU TIRED OF SEEING THE SAME POST? YOU DON'T WANT TO REBLOG THE SAME BASE?

NEITHER ME OR FALASTIN ARE WRITERS OF YOUR BLAND WATERY SHOWS OR FANFICS, NOR ME OR HER SHOULD BE FUCKING REQUIRED TO SUPPLY YOU WITH A NEW GRUEL EVERY DAY TO GET DONATIONS.

WE ARE NOT NEWS ANCHORS OR FUCKING HISTORIANS, AND YET THE ONLY TIME WHEN SHE'S NOT FOCUSING ON HER FAMILY SHE GETS SOME ATTENTION FROM BIG BLOGS. ARE HER OTHER POSTS NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU? PLEASE TELL ME, BECAUSE ALL OF YOU HAVE DMS AND/OR ASKS CLOSED.

SHE GOT ANOTHER MARTYR IN HER FAMILY JUST 4 DAYS AGO, SHE RIPPED HER HEART OUT FOR YOU ALL TO SEE AND SHARED HER GRIEF IN THE OPEN, AND WHAT IT GOT HER? 1,5K$? IS IT HOW MUCH HER COUSIN WAS WORTH IN YOUR EYES?

FALASTIN DIDN'T CATCH A BREAK FOR A FUCKING YEAR NOW, AND YET SHE STILL WRITES HERE, IN ENGLISH (!!!), ON THIS FUCKING PLATFORM WHERE SHE GETS MESSAGES FROM SCAMMERS, ZIONISTS AND CREEPS. SHE DOES THAT BECAUSE THERE ARE 24 FUCKING PEOPLE DEPENDING ON HER IN GAZA AND SHE CAN'T GIVE UP.

I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF YOU SAW THIS POST TEN MILLION TIMES, BOOST AND FUCKING DONATE. DO THAT EVERY FUCKING TIME YOU SEE ANOTHER FUNDRAISER POST, THE FIRST TIME YOU SEE IT, THE SECOND, THE THIRD, AND EVERY FUCKING TIME AFTER THAT.

YES SHE WAS VETTED, SEVERAL TIMES:

#282 IN VETTED GAZA EVACUATION FUNDRAISER LIST [HERE], #957 IN BUTTERFLY EFFECT PROJECT [HERE]

YOU CAN LOOK AT HER ACCOUNT [HERE]

MORE THAN 10$ DONATED CAN GET YOU A COMMISSION FROM ME IF YOU DM THE PROOF TO ME. MY ART BLOG WAS TERMINATED ALMOST TWO WEEKS AGO AND IT'S STILL NOT RESOLVED SO PLEASE DM WITH QUESTIONS.

GO FUCKING DONATE AND CHECK THE RATES BEFORE YOU DO:

10$ = 103 SEK

25$ = 259 SEK

50$ = 518 SEK

100$ = 1,036 SEK

[sonicboomseason3]

a brief recap of what has been going on with the sonic movieverse in the past several months:

paramount has come out in public support of israel

keanu reeves, a man who has publicly rubbed elbows with none other than benjamin netanyahu, reportedly gets cast as shadow for the upcoming third movie

james marsden, the guy who plays tom, got exposed as having written a letter of support for a convicted pedophile

there's fucking??? zionist propaganda in the knuckles series???

kind of connected to the last point but adam pally, the guy who plays wade, is evidently pro-israel too

this is a complete and utter joke.

EDIT AS OF 4/30/24: if people see this version of the post, i'd really appreciate it if you reblog it instead of the other versions, as it's the most updated one with all the information that i want included. thank you :]

you know, it's been a few days since i've made this post, and some of you (not most) are staying determined in defending/justifying/giving the benefit of the doubt to keanu for that photo with netanyahu, whether it's because "it was a decade ago," "him being civil to someone he ran into at a party one time doesn't mean anything," "he's probably just silent because his pr managers won't allow him to speak up," etc. i've made my thoughts on the matter quite clear by directly responding to these people, but at this point, i'm tired of both seeing them in my notes and repeating myself, so take this as my final word on the issue.

i can't help it if you don't think the photo with netanyahu is damning, and i'm done engaging with everyone going out of their way to tell me that. i obviously disagree, especially after finding out that 1. the host of the party, arnon milchan, is a former israeli spy who has a history of developing israel's nuclear program and promoting apartheid in south africa (information that had broken out a few months prior to the party and thus would've been fresh news around the time keanu chose to attend) and 2. keanu has been caught hanging around at least two other weirdos, but if you don't find any of that to be cause for reasonable concern, then there really is nothing else i can say afaik.

with all that said, i'm beginning to realize how strange it is that these people's first instinct when seeing this post is to start debating about keanu's political stances without ever acknowledging any of the other bullet points. you guys realize that this isn't just about him, right? i know tumblr reading comprehension is known for being piss-poor, but like… you realize that i was trying to make a point of how there are MULTIPLE terrible things that have broken out about the people and company involved in the sonic movies, right? and yet, a lot of the people leaping to speak on keanu's behalf in my notes are completely ignoring the parts where i bring up paramount, pally, etc. all in favor of zeroing in on the singular point about keanu and making bad faith assumptions about me for holding him accountable. really makes one wonder where your priorities lie if, in a post that talks about so many other things, me accusing an a-list celebrity with, according to google, a net worth of almost $400 million is where you draw the line and apparently the only thing worth your acknowledgment.

ultimately, what i'm trying to say is that the intention of this post was just to gather up everything that i had been hearing for the past several months and put it all together in one place. there were a bunch of people who didn't know about at least one of the bullet points before seeing this post, and i'm glad that i could help inform them, that was what i was hoping to do! but as for the keanu thing, i've said pretty much all i can say for now, and i don't want to derail the original post even more than i may have already. unless something new comes up, i'm done talking about him.