#first it was not having machines to pay on the bus. which is fine bc i love free bus rides

[minglana]

i need to find avanza ceo and kill myself in front of them to forever change the trajectory of their life

[benjiwyatt]

do you have any ben/leslie headcanons! i love your posts abt them so much it's great to see someone get as emotional abt them as i am asjdkajhjd

i got this message and i was like "god, i dont really know if i have any headcanons" and then i opened my notes app and started typing and didn't stop for over an hour

i'm literally putting this under a break and organizing it into categories bc it's absurdly long

here it is

A COLLECTION OF BEN AND LESLIE HEADCANONS

PRE-RELATIONSHIP/S3

basically canon but leslie definitely had a crush on a young benji wyatt and followed the story religiously for the first couple months before she started college

ben is only slightly jealous leslie had ann go out with chris to try and get more money for the parks budget rather than leslie asking him out with the same goal. he knows it’s insane, unethical, and illogical but he’s still excited that he gets to spend the night with her on a date plus two other people even if it is to accuse her of bribery.

ann realizes early on that leslie was attracted to ben and teases her mercilessly about it. she thinks it’s absolutely hilarious that leslie wants to make out with "mean ben.” after april and andy’s wedding, she realizes it's more than just attraction and she lays off.

before ben can even think rationally about what he’s doing, he’s in line at bed, bath, and beyond with a crock pot in his arms, calling stephanie to ask her to send him their family’s chicken soup recipe

ann knew ben liked her from the beginning and was totally positive when she ran into him in the hospital asking for leslie’s room number while holding jj’s waffles and a tub of homemade soup.

ben realizes he’s falling in love with leslie when he is at city hall with her until 3am one night trying to budget for the amount of cotton candy machines she wants for the harvest festival. in his exhaustion, he naively believes her when she tells him she’ll go home in a bit so he leaves. he never gets a text from saying she made it home so he stops at jj’s the next morning and brings a takeout container of waffles and a coffee complete with an outlandish amount of whipped cream and sugar to the parks department. he finds her asleep in the conference room. he starts trying to convince sweetums to donate more cotton candy machines that afternoon.

chris had to have known ben liked leslie. he’s not an idiot. in the deleted scene from their wedding, they read out emails from their “tumultuous first week in pawnee” and chris writes to ben saying, “why are you so focused on leslie knope?” ben replies saying, “i’m not. whatever. shut up.” there’s no way chris is this oblivious. ben takes her out for a beer. ben pays out of pocket for a children’s performer to help her out. ben shows up on chris and ann’s date just because he thinks leslie might be there. chris can’t be this dumb. but when they take the city manager jobs in pawnee, he knows it can’t happen so he cuts ben off when he starts to ask about dating someone in city hall. he cracks down on the rule in front of leslie after the tom incident to hammer it in. he starts setting ben up on a bunch of dates to try and head it off. he sends them to indianapolis for the little league pitch because, realistically, he knows they’re the best bet for success but makes sure to interrupt their dinner and invites them to his apartment to continue to run interference the rest of the night. after their fights in 4.06-4.08, he hopes he won’t have to worry anymore. the next work day, they come into his office looking nervous and happy and he knows he’s about to lose the partner and best friend that’s been by his side for the past decade.

april and andy knew they were secretly dating. it went unspoken aside from a few implicit teasing remarks from april and a few suggestive attempted high fives from andy but leslie assured ben they wouldn’t tell anyone despite their ostensible behavior.

BREAK UP

ben had commissioned the li’l sebastian plush for leslie after he had died but the toy shop didn’t finish it until after they broke up. he felt bad not going to pick it up so he did despite not being able to give it to her. he kept it for all those months and sometimes thought about getting rid of it but could never bring himself to do it.

when leslie made personalized copies her books for her friends with individualized annotations and notes in the bylines, she had two copies for ben. there was one that she gave him during their breakup that was very simplified and watered down where the note basically just said “i’m really glad you decided to stay in pawnee.” then there was a second copy that she kept while they were split up that was totally covered in notes and random thoughts she couldn’t say during their time apart. she gives him that copy when they get back together and it may or may not be the best gift he’s ever received.

april was much less abrasive with them during the break up because she’s a sweetheart and wants her friends to be happy.

the first time leslie admitted she was in love with him was during a long night of drinking and crying at ann’s house

ben craved the taste of sugar during their breakup because he got used to tasting the sweetness when he kissed her

ben found himself unable to sleep at night without the sound of leslie talking in her sleep to comfort him

april texted leslie the night of the halloween party to let her know that ben and andy were at the hospital after a fight and everything was fine and she didn’t need to worry. leslie was mad at andy for a few days after and he couldn’t figure out why.

the only photo in ben’s bedroom was of himself, leslie, and li’l sebastian at the harvest festival. if he got caught staring at it and crying, he would just say he missed li’l sebastian so much.

april and andy started having star wars and star trek movie nights to try and cheer ben up

DOMESTIC

ben and leslie got in the habit of having weekly game nights with april and andy during the campaign since they were all basically living together. it became a tradition that kept going as often as they could make it happen, even after the kids were born. they try to have game night at least once a month. april pretends to hate it.

one of my absolute favorite ideas about them is that she sleeps much better when he’s around to keep her grounded. after they get together for good, she starts getting closer to 5 hours of sleep a night.

another favorite involving leslie’s sleeping: ben is typically accustomed to tuning out incoherent nonsense that she babbles in her sleep but she also has some of her best ideas when she’s not busy trying to focus on a million different things. when he hears her coming up with legitimately good ideas or making speeches or having solid debate arguments, he takes out the notebook he keeps in his nightstand to record her thoughts and quotes. he revisits and revises the notes to strengthen her statements and make them more professional and less rambling but makes sure to keep her distinct voice apparent in them.

ben prefers pancakes to waffles but he will go to the grave with that secret

this isn’t a headcanon because nbc posted it but one of ben’s holidays on leslie’s calendar is watch synchronization day which is the day they celebrate syncing their watches to, as leslie puts it, “always be in harmony, like our hearts” which is just one of the sweetest fucking things in the world

leslie makes ben read and watch all the harry potters because he didn’t get into them when he first tried. ben is much more of a success than ann. she buys him a ravenclaw scarf for christmas.

their first fight as a couple was a historical debate gone awry

since ben clearly has some affinity for custom stuffed animals, he has some made for the triplets.

they’re both dog people but they adopt a cat because sonia and stephen beg for one and it does fit their busy lifestyle much better. they love the cat. they get a dog when the kids are older and life is slightly less hectic.

they both love striped shirts and sweaters so much that they have to make a conscious effort to avoid wearing them on the same day and matching

leslie makes sweets and bakes desserts while ben typically handles cooking the actual meals

BASED ON EPISODES, QUOTES, AND THROWAWAY LINES

i always loved the ann/ben dynamic in bus tour because there’s been such an obvious shift in ann’s attitude towards him in this episode. maybe it’s because she and tom just broke up and she just turned chris down again and she’s frustrated with relationships but i think it’s her realizing ben isn’t going anywhere. since the campaign is winding down, she realizes that things aren’t gonna go back to the way they were because ben is now part of this and he’s clearly in it for the long haul. ann’s definitely jealous that ben is just as important to leslie as she is and she now knows she’s never gonna get that full attention back. ann sits ben down to have a real “don’t you dare hurt her” speech after this ep and before win, lose, or draw. this is when he tells ann he wants to marry her.

they discover they both adore the princess bride after ben says “as you wish” to her one night and after that it becomes their movie.

the wildflower mural becomes a thing between them when ben says he considered that to be their first date, prompting leslie to tell him what the mural means to her.

ben puts banjo boogie bonanza on one of the mix cds he gives leslie at the beginning of their relationship

harrison ford movie nights start after they both reveal they had a crush on him as a kid. ben was obsessed with han solo and leslie was into indiana jones’ whole history teacher vibe.

they basically hate each other’s taste in music and stop exchanging mix cds once that becomes apparent that they aren’t gonna find much common ground. they both love tom petty, al green, and etta james and music in that vein though.

ben makes leslie watch game of thrones just to try to explain why he’s called her khaleesi. she gets into it, not so much because of the show itself, but because of how passionate her boyfriend is about it.

they start learning basic french during the s4 campaign because they think it will be useful to have a basic multilingual vocabulary for their political careers and because leslie confesses she has always dreamed of seeing paris. they study spanish next.

ben makes leslie watch the star wars prequels just so he can complain to her during them. he doesn’t think she’s paying attention and then he reads about midichlorians in the paper.

ann is also in on ben’s plan to sneak vegetables into leslie’s waffles.

they will sometimes jokingly refer to themselves as the “dream team” or “dynamic duo” because, despite chris’s absurdity, it’s true

i’m open to literally any origin of this because no matter what it’s perfect but i like to think that “i love you and i like you” started at some point in season 4 when, at some point, leslie went “i like you” and ben replied “you like me?” “mhm” “hm just like me?” “yes i like you. i love you and i like you. both.” “mmm i love you and i like you too”

i barely even register some of these things as headcanons since they just live so solidly in my brain

this might be my favorite ask ever thank you for loving benslie enough to ask me this and be genuinely interested

if anyone read all of this, i love you

[living-dead-parker]

Theatrical Chaos - P.P

Summary: Requested by @justanothermarvelfanaccount   -  First off, your stories are incredible and I absolutely LOVE reading them. Also, if you have the time, could you possibly write a peter parker x reader where reader works at a movie theatre and can get them into free movies before they come out? Maybe peter and the rest of the science squad can wreak havoc in the theatre and tony has to bail them out. Thank you!!

Hope y’all enjoy the science squad once more!! I also took some liberties from the original request, but tried to follow it as much as possible!! 

Warnings: cussing, spoilers for Halloween (2018) but that came out over three months ago so it should be acceptable at this point to speak about it

Word Count: 1.8k

Gif is not mine!

Getting a job was not really something you wanted to do. But, you gotta make money somehow. Sure, Tony likes you enough to just give it to you if you ask, but you don't like buying into his rich man capitalistic ways. That and you have too much pride, despite having asked him for hundreds of dollars. So, you got a job at a movie theater. Gross. The only benefit is the family discount and you get to watch movies for free. So, when you lean against the warm popcorn machine -curse the owner for these extremely cold conditions!- and you notice the familiar faces of your five bestest friends in the world coming into the theater, your frown turns into an upside down frown.

"Y/N! We're gonna watch the Halloween movie!" Shuri says.

"You mean the best comedy of 2018? Bc damn!" Harley says excitedly.

"Oh, must be fun, fuckers. While 'lil 'ol me is stuck working. How rude!" you add as you move over to the counter. The theater you worked at was one of the cheaper ones that show movies that left the bigger theaters months ago. Just last week you found out you'd be getting Bohemian Rhapsody in five months!

"Can we get some popped corn and some carbonated water with high fructose corn syrup?" Michelle asks, speaking in her deeper voice. A running gag among the group to throw off people at retail stores. Totally unnecessary, but totally worth it. Except not when it's being done to you.

"Yeah, can you throw in some of the circular colored chocolate sweets with the 'm' on them? And a red iced drink with cherry flavored syrup for taste?" Ned asks.

"Just say popcorn, Coke, M&M's, and Cherry Slushie for fuck's sake!" you groan as you begin working on their order.

"Yeah, can you throw in the tortilla chips with the classic cow byproduct classified as Nacho with a green pepper garnish on top? And a tea, preferably one of the iced varieties, raspberry to be exact," Shuri adds. You roll your eyes as you continue working on the order. Harley and Peter were the only ones to order using proper language and totally not fucking with you by telling you they meant something completely different than what you heard -which they did not!

After twenty minutes, their order was complete and you were sending them on their way to enjoy the movie. You still have another hour and a half until you were off, so they'd be done by the time you're off. You watch as they walk away, Shuri hitting Harley on the back of his head, causing the rest of the group to laugh.

You were manning the concession stand for a few minutes before being told to do your final theater inspection. This just meant going into every showroom and staying for five minutes to make sure everything was fine. So you begin, going from showroom one all the way to showroom ten. Upon reaching showroom ten, you see Peter, Ned, Michelle, Shuri, and Harley sitting in the dead center. There were only four other people in the room with them; a couple in the very back -most likely doing something they shouldn't be because they looked very guilty- and another couple in the front who look angry at each other.

"Okay, but why can't he just let her take a shit in peace?" Shuri asks loudly. The couples didn't seem to mind the comments being hurled by the teens, and in fact seemed to find them extremely funny.

"Hey," Peter begins, speaking in a mimicking type of voice as it cuts to Michael banging the restroom stall in the movie.

"Occupado!" Harley cuts in with a fake high-pitched voice as the camera pans to the Dana in the restroom, looking around cautiously and screaming.

"Sorry," Peter says through a muffled laugh as Michael begins to kill Dana.

"Let's have some fun, this beat is sick!" Michelle sings as Michael begins to smash Dana's head against the restroom stall door.

"I wanna take a ride on your disco stick!" Harley sings along. Harley seemed to be the one cracking up the most, laughing at everything, making the most comments, screaming from laughter at random times.

It came as a surprise to you but nobody was telling Harley or the others in the group to shut up. Maybe it was mostly due to the fact that the movie came out a few months ago, so for sure these people have seen it already one way or another, or just did not care enough about it to get upset. Plus, the couple way at the back seemed to just need some privacy to get to doing their business. You're supposed to report that kind of stuff when you see it, but you decided to turn a blind eye because they were being quiet and there was no one in their row. They weren't bugging anyone.

As the movie goes on, Harley and Peter seem to be making the most comments, laughing the most at everything. Michelle and Shuri stopped paying too much attention after a while, which you found funny. Ned would just laugh, but he seemed sort of into the movie. The kind where you don't care but you're being forced to watch it so you might as well just watch it.

"Hey fucker," Harley begins as the scene where the prison bus is flipped over and the small kid is exploring what happened after his dad had been missing for a few minutes now. "If an old man in a bus that just flipped over tells you to run, you fucking run!"

The kid did not run. No matter how much Harley screamed, he did not run. In fact, he died. He's gone. Michelle and Shuri boo at the fact that he didn't run. Peter just giggles as the scene transitions and the movie continues. Over the course of the movie, Peter and Ned hold hands and make jokes to each other. You can hear Peter -loud and clear, you might add- tell Ned that he can beat his meat with a knife any day. When Peter catches your playful glare, he blows a kiss your way. You pretend to catch it and then throw it on the ground before stomping on it. Peter playfully glares at you to which you pretend to ignore.

You should've left long ago, but then the movie reaches a pivotal moment. Michael discovers Allyson and he begins to chase after her. Suddenly, a revamped version of Michael's theme song begins to play and Michelle goes on about how the song is a 'certified bop' and how it deserves all the Grammy's. Harley stands up -literally stands up! Nobody stops him either- and begins to Milly Rock to the beat of the song. Shuri and Michelle stand up as well and join in on the dancing, doing all sorts of dumb dances.

Ultimately the movie nears its end, and when you check the time, you see that you have 20 minutes left until it's time to clock out. With that thought in mind, you decide to leave the room and head back to the concession stand to finish cleaning your station, help some customers, and eventually clock out. Ten minutes go by in a flash and the group of teens are rounding the corner and into your line of vision. You hand a bucket of popcorn to some random teenager who wouldn't stop trying to flirt with you.

"Hey, maybe I can come back later and we can catch a movie together?" the kid asks. You roll your eyes and grab the small nozzle that you use to spray butter into the popcorn.

"Beat it or I'll cover you in butter and tell the girl that you came with what you said," you tell him as you aim the nozzle to the little jerk. He mutters something about you being a bitch before leaving. As if you didn't already know you were a mega bitch.

The teens watch it all unfold and Peter can't help but want to punch the kid. He does refrain but the immense need to do it fills his mind. Maybe later, when the punk comes back. They all approach you as you begin to clean up once more.

"How may I help you today?" you ask as you give them all your fake smile. Harley pushes past everyone and looks at the menu, making you roll your eyes.

"Yeah, I'll take three buckets of popcorn, and one thicc bih," Harley says before winking at you.

"The only thicc bih here is Peter," Michelle comments. Shuri and Ned nod as Peter turns in a circle to show off the junk in his trunk. He really does have a bubble butt.

"Thank, I grew it myself," Peter says proudly as he winks at you.

"Mr. Thiccums getting too confident. I'll be off in five, let me just clock out and get changed," you say to the group of teens. They nod and move over to the mini arcade area as you begin clocking out of your register. With a quickness like never before, you head to the employee restrooms and quickly change back into your street clothes. When you head back out to the main lobby, you see people crowding the arcade area.

Worried -since your friends were there last- you head over to the arcade area and your face flushes at the sight in front of you. Tony Stark -genius billionaire playboy philanthropist- was attempting to pull Harley's arm out of the claw machine.

"Harley, I need you to let go of the stupid-" a violent groan escapes Tony's lips, followed by a yelp, "-stuffed animal! I can always buy you one!"

"Fine!" Harley screams and within a few seconds, his arms is coming out of the claw machine, red marks all over his arm. Your brows furrow in confusion. How did this all happen so fast? You were only in the back for about 15 minutes. From the corner, you notice Shuri, Michelle, and Ned laughing as they record. Soon, Harley is charging at them, screaming about how he'll punch them for laughing at him. Peter holds Harley -and some chuckles, admittedly- back. Harley screams for Peter to let him go.

In a bold move, you step into the arcade room and push past everyone. You're still on the premise, so you gotta do something about it. You sigh and clear your throat before yelling at the group of yours.

"Hey, fuckers," you say loudly to get their attention. They all turn and pull away from each other. You even notice Tony flinch a little. Ned may be the mother bear in the group, but you were the mother bitch. Nothing got through you. "Stop with your fighting and screaming now or I'll give you a reason to scream!"

The group goes quiet as they nod. You turn around and begin the walk out of the theater, Tony and the others in tow. Surely, this would make the news much later.

Please leave some feedback or requests! Also plz send in asks or come talk to me!!

[littlebitofbass]

Maybe Ed doesnt care but I dont think Kevin should tell his business like that bc now people will ask for money

I see your point. But I also think that if someone is the kind of person who would ask Ed for money, then they probably would do it whether or not they knew he’d helped out someone else. You know?

I love that this is the sort of thing Ed does for his friends, though. Even if it was just the once. (Of course, for all we know, he’s done it tons of times for different people. In fact, I’m sure he has.) But it reminds me of… when I was a kid, my dad used to own a small business. It was a video rental place - like a Blockbuster or something - except this was before DVDs were a thing so it was all VHS tapes and video game cartridges that you could rent. My siblings and I used to go to the store every day after school because both our parents worked there, and we’d do our homework there and then sit and watch tapes until closing time, which is why I have an unreasonable amount of trivia in my head about corny oldschool movies that no one has heard of. (We also had a popcorn machine like they have at theaters, and I got so sick of popcorn that I stopped eating it when I was seven and didn’t even give it another try until I was well into college.) 

Anyway, this place called Action Video moved in right next door and put us out of business. 

So, everything was repossessed by the bank. We literally had to pack up all the movies in boxes and take them to the bank. We lost the business itself, and our house, and both cars. I remember standing at the bus stop after school one day and seeing our cars being towed by and not really understanding where they were going. We waved at the towtrucks and the drivers waved back. My family moved into a house that was much too small for all of us and my dad took the first job he could find (selling insurance door to door - it was awful) and we ate spaghetti-Os for supper every night and shopped at Salvation Army and honestly I still had no idea we were poor, because my mom is actually the best mom ever and she was always coming up with games for us to play, so this whole time my parents were sinking further and further into debt, I was happily oblivious. 

It was only after I was already in my 20′s that my mom told me we almost lost that house as well, except that this man who went to church with my family (he was a dentist) heard about our situation and came over one evening with a check for my dad. It was two thousand dollars, which is a lot for someone to just give you and was even more back then. He said he just wanted to help, and that he never wanted us to pay him back, even when we got back on our feet and could pay him back. My dad’s not the kind of guy who asks other people for help, especially people who are not family, but he couldn’t not take the money because he didn’t want his kids sleeping in the street. So that money was enough to keep us afloat for another little bit, and then he found a better job in a different town and of course now everything is fine and has been for a good long while. 

I asked if daddy ever paid the guy back, and my mom said he didn’t because he was told not to. But now my dad is the manager of a department store, and around December every year there are always families coming in struggling to pay off their layaways for Christmas so their kids can have presents, and my dad always picks a few different families and helps them out with their last payments to make it easier. And my mom said it’s because of what our old dentist did for him back in the day. It’s his way of paying him back, and he does it every year even though by now he has paid back way more than what was given to him to begin with.

I think helping other people who need it is the best thing you can do as a human being. And you never know how many different lives you could touch just by helping one person when you have the opportunity. Knowing that Ed is the kind of person who does this makes me admire him even more. That guy has such a good heart! And I don’t know, maybe Kevin just told the story about Ed helping him because he wanted everyone to know what a great person Ed is. That’s why I talk about him, too. It wouldn’t be to encourage other people to pester him for money, but to prove that there are wonderful people in the world, and that even when a situation seems dire, it’s still possible for everything to work out in the end. :) 

[anestiefel]

Berlin: 10 tips for riding public transit like a local

Officially, the Berlin public transit goes by the rather daunting name, Berliner Verkehrsbetriebe, but Berliners all lovingly shorten it to BVG (beh-fow-gey). The BVG includes the U-Bahn and S-Bahn, as well as hundreds of bus lines, trams (a type of street car only running in former East Berlin), and even ferries.

Berlin’s transportation system is truly one of the best in the world. It will zip you through the city at pretty much any hour of the day.

Berlin Public Transit Tips

Here are 10 of our best tips for how to ride the Berlin public transit system like a pro.

1. Know which ticket to buy (and how to buy it)

Unfortunately, this is no easy task. Although the ticket machines all have an English language option, they can still be very difficult to figure out, and the locals waiting behind you are likely to get impatient with any greenhorn taking too long to buy a ticket. To avoid too many nail-biting sessions at the ticket machine, it’s better to know which ticket to buy in advance.

Related: Getting the most for your money with Berlin public transit tickets

Here’s a list of all the single fares and some tips for how to understood what the heck they mean by them:

Short-trip ticket = up to three stops in one direction

Single ticket = ticket in one direction, including any transfers, valid for up to two hours

Reduced = ticket fare for children, students, and seniors

AB = fare zone for central Berlin and outlying suburbs

BC = fare zone for outlying suburbs and Potsdam

ABC = fare zone for all three

A regional map of the U-Bahn and S-Bahn system. Photo: Bre Pettis

If this seems confusing to you, it’s because it is. A better option — and one that will save you some dough — is to buy a ticket that’s valid for a longer period of time. Depending on how much longer you plan to stay, you can either buy a day ticket, a 7-day ticket, or a monthly pass.

(If you’re also interested in visiting some museums, you may also want to opt for the Berlin WelcomeCard, a ticket specifically designed for tourists that includes admission to attractions and covers public transportation.)

The good news? Although tickets are a bit tricky to figure out at first, they’re valid for any form of Berlin public transit. You won’t have to worry about having to buy a separate ticket if, for example, you want to ride both the bus and the U-Bahn.

Familiarizing yourself with the transportation map will help, too. Download the route map here.

2. No credit cards

As is often the case in Berlin, U-Bahn, and S-Bahn ticket machines do not accept credit cards. Unless you have a German bank card, your only option is to pay with cash. Machines accept any coin ten cents and above as well as €5, €10, and €20 bills.

Please note that they will give you your change in coins only, so if you’re buying a ticket for a smaller amount, it’s better to use a smaller bill, so you won’t be overly weighed down with a pocket full of change. Not all machines accept bills, so if you don’t have enough small change, look around until you find the one that does.

Keep an eye out for ticket machines like this one.

3. Stamp it — or be shamed!

Once you successfully buy the ticket you need, there’s one more crucial step you need to take before you hop on the train: Stamp and validate that baby!

Unless you’re riding the bus (more on that below) it’s unlikely that anyone will “control” (ask to see) your ticket, but it’s still very important that you remember to stamp it. To do so, locate a validating box and insert the top of the ticket in the slot that says “please stamp here” (the machines are usually near the ticket machines on the platform).

If you fail to validate your ticket (or, gasp!, board without a ticket), you’ll be riding schwarz (black), which is German slang for fare dodgers.

If you’re caught during one of the checks they do periodically, you’ll have to pay a €60 fine. If you have a ticket but forgot to stamp it, you might get lucky and be controlled by someone who has mercy on clueless tourists, but you may not luck out. Don’t take a chance — stamp it!

4. Know the difference between the U-Bahn and the S-Bahn

If you want to impress someone with your nerdy BVG knowledge, you can tell them U-Bahn stands for Untergrundbahn (underground train) and S-Bahn for Stadtbahn (city train). While “underground” train is clear, we think a better word for the S-Bahn would be Übergrundbahn (above ground train).

Although they sometimes break those rules, both train systems usually stick with the program, the U-Bahn staying underground and the S-Bahn running above ground. Although this means the S-Bahn can make for a more scenic ride, there are other differences. The U-Bahn makes more frequent stops in the city, while the S-Bahn functions more as an “express”. The S-Bahn can more quickly whisk you off to the suburbs.

The U-Bahn also runs more often (every two to three minutes during rush hour) and is generally more reliable. The S-Bahn is sometimes notoriously late — in winter, it’s been known to sometimes even shut down completely.

A bus rolling through the streets of Berlin near Alexanderplatz. Photo robdammers

5. Taking the bus

As we mentioned above, your transit ticket is also valid on the bus. If you have a valid ticket, get on in the front of the bus. Then, show your ticket to the driver.

You can also buy a ticket on the bus. To do so, you’ll need to tell the driver which kind you need, for example, single ticket AB (in German, Einzelfahrt AB (Eyen-cell-fart ah-beh). The fare is the same price and can be paid in coins only. Once you’ve achieved this feat — and don’t take it personally if the driver was grumpy, because they almost always are — the driver will hand you a ticket, which you don’t need to stamp.

6. After 1 a.m. on a weekday? Take the Nachtbus

Berlin is famous for its late nightlife, but the U-Bahn runs around the clock only on the weekends. If you feel like living it up on a Tuesday, you’ll find the U-Bahn and S-Bahn stations shuttered and closed down between around 1 a.m. and 5 a.m. Although you could always take a taxi — and luckily they are not as expensive in Berlin as they would be in, say, London and Paris — you’ll still have to dig deeper into your wallet than you might want to pay.

But never fear, the Nachtbus is here to save the day (or, in this case, night). When the U-Bahn, S-Bahn, and regular bus lines shut down for the night, the Nachtbus (night bus) takes over, and all for the nice price of a regular ticket.

7. Get used to silence and stony faces

Yes, it’s true. Many Berliners you’ll see on the BVG will look as if they’ve been having a bad day… for the past 20 years. Tourists often find the frowns and silence a little intimidating and spooky, but true Berliners often just don’t see the need for idle chit-chat when they’re on their way from A to B among strangers.

If you’re on one of those trains, filled to the brim but as silent as the grave, be sure you aren’t too loud yourself or people might start giving you dirty looks. And take comfort. They’re smiling… inside.

Riders on the Berlin subway. Photo: Alexander Rentsch

8. Don’t put your feet or bags on the seats

If Berliners have one pet peeve (aside from giddy American extroverts), it’s riders who put their bags on the seats of a busy train. When the train is not full, you can place your bags there. Be sure to move them right away when more people get on, not just when someone wants to sit down. If not, someone is likely to get annoyed, and Berliners aren’t shy when they’re irritated.

Want to tick them off even more? Put your feet on the seats. That was a joke — don’t do it. In Berlin, it’s just about one of the rudest things a person can do.

9. You’re probably not getting hit on

Some tourists think Berliners stare because they’re silently judging them, and others think it’s because they think they’re hot. Neither one of them are right. Staring is just what you do here, so do as the locals do and stare away.

If the person next to you is also sitting so close you can feel their leg touching yours, it’s also not likely that they’re coming on to you and/or creepy. In general, Berliners aren’t as particular about personal space in crowded spaces, so it’s likely they’ll sit more snugly next to you than you might, um, expect.

10. Get used to being pushed around

Although German has words for “excuse me”, Entschuldigung for example, means “sorry”, it’s unlikely that you’ll hear it too often during your trip. In a crowded place like the U-Bahn, you will get pushed and prodded and sometimes elbowed. Your toes might get stepped on. If you’re very unlucky, it will be strong enough to leave a bruise. Don’t expect an apology, because it’s not coming.

However, even with the occasional push, leg touching and stony face, the BVG is an expansive and efficient transit system. It’s far more reliable than most of the public transportation networks in other countries (including, obviously, the US!).

Enjoy the ride. And seriously — she’s not hitting on you.

Need even more tips?

We have many more posts in our budget guide to Berlin. Check out these 12 simple ways to save on your trip to Berlin, plus this recommended list of budget hotels in the city center.

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