#first family bbq of the year went very well

[n33dlew0rk]

Crollo

rated T | 1113 words | cw: cheating, scarce emotional management, angst

for @steddieangstyaugust prompt “angst with happy ending” (day 4)

This is not even inspired by, I directly quoted/translated some parts of “Crollo” by Quercia.

Yeah yeah yeah, so Steve was not prepared for that, honestly. He was ready for a lot of things but most of them were way outside of the humans hurting other humans emotionally spectrum. Hell, if anything he probably deserved some kind of reward, because the speed at which he turned his more than well-earned freaking the fuck out moment into a demonstration of probably not as much well-earned devotion, was truly compelling. 

His heart was left inside dessicating while his trust left the building without a word.

And he couldn’t even relate to most of the typical rockstar wives enduring the obvious implications of the touring life drama, because it wasn’t a matter of fans and groupies and drugs and trashed hotel rooms, no. He was a producer, a friend, a more than three yearly bbqs with families and acquaintances and coworkers good buddy, a fishing directly into Steve’s worst paranoia of not having enough in common with Eddie nightmare, also a fucking steady gig, apparently.

So Steve did what seems to be the thing he does best: he babysat his relationship through the motions. (The motions being lots of tears and make-up sex and talking a lot about forgiveness and listening to a lot of good reasons why the love of his life was supposedly kind of right in looking out for his own emotional needs instead of talking with Steve even if he couldn’t think of a single time he denied Eddie anything and months of hush-hush couples therapy because tabloid-wise Steve did not exist and ironically nor did Danny).

Yeah, so time went by, slowly piecing together the crumbling foundations of their love with gold-infused hope-based and will-reinforced glue. 

And seeing as helping others was his true call since his long lost life-altering teenage years, Steve can’t really be blamed for forgetting about the festering consequences of those same fractures inside himself. Make them feel good and you’ll feel good too eventually, right?

Steve opened his eyes every day pretending to see the sun filtering just through the blinds of their bedroom instead of through all the cracks not even the purest 24k gold could fix in his attempt to rebuild a fragile vase-like life with Eddie.

One could say that forgiveness has many different fashions of coming into existence, that there’s no one-size-fits-all solution to restore a relationship. And while this is all theoretically very true, it is also true that in bullshitting his way through nearly one year of Kintsugi style patching up his entire world, Steve was brought to the conclusion that repairing his love life even if with golden-plated good intentions would never bring it back as it was.

And as soon as Steve folded under the pressure of this realisation, so did everything else. Like the debris of a fire, hurt spread like an infection, a wedge in a rift long-simmering, not undetected but surely underestimated.

So Steve left.

He packed all the shards in a suitcase, heavy with grief and resentment, leaving a trail of wounds he didn’t even know he had growing inside himself like freshly baked bullets aimed at Eddie’s heart. 

Steve left and the ground behind him where once their beautiful house rose was so burnt he was sure he sentenced to death every slim chance Eddie and him could ever even hope to grasp.

Almost a whole year later, during his first solo therapy session in a new city with a new job and a new apartment and such newfound freedom he never asked for he spent nearly half an hour crying, stuck on a single phrase he kept on murmuring, condemnation on his shoulders more than a prayer for repentance: “I never fix myself in time to not make myself hated”.

It was after a few weeks of pouring waterfalls of regret and bile, after the first painful tries at cleaning the cut splitting him in two, that Janine -bless the woman- said to him: “Steve, how about we ditch this whole” she gestured vaguely at him with her wrinkly blood red lacquered fingers “rebuilding what once was concept”.

Steve looked at her confused as a pre-schooler who’s just been told that he cannot call the teacher ‘mom’. “What do you mean?” he half-sobbed.

She sighed, “I mean that it’s been years for you and weeks for us and still the only direction you seem to be able to look at everything that happened is the one where somehow you magically discover a way to turn back in time and resume your happy unaware life.” That was an unusually long sentence for Janine, whose primary and native language consisted of sceptical nods, expressive and judgemental eyebrows and the occasional grunt.

Predictably it was an exception and the precious sliver of patience was slipping quickly from Janine’s eyes. 

“I- I don’t know what else to do” Steve said, trying to fight tears with a very weak composure, straightening his back on the plush chair. “I tried to fix it, I fucked it up more instead.”

“And you think that the only thing on the other side of that is what? Perfection?” Janine slapped her thighs, getting up and around her desk. “Steve, our session is running short today, but listen to me carefully”, she paused, putting both her hands on Steve’s shoulders.

“The before you’re so stubbornly looking at through rose tinted glasses is the same place where everything you’re trying to untangle now was born.”

Steve lifted his glazed eyes to hers, mid-way between a(nother) breakdown and hopefulness.

“You’re scared. You already know you can’t have it back like it was, you already tried to puzzle your way into a life that wasn’t good enough for either of you.” She said.

Steve rose from the chair, slowly walking towards the door. “The sooner you let yourself break, break free from your already crushed castle of romanticised nostalgia, the sooner your fears will disappear.” Another pause, the bitch really was going in with the dramatics. “Then you can build anew.”

You reached Steve Harrington. I’m currently unavailable, please leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible. “Hey Steve, I know this is kind of out of the blue and I’m calling despite... fear eating me out because honestly. I mean, fuck, I can’t say I would still wanna talk to me if I was in your shoes, but.. Sweetheart I need to at least try, because... I haven’t seen you in more than a year and you’re still the only thing missing from my world for it to be even tolerable. So… what do you say about lunch and I don’t know, start over?”

Divider by @steddiecameraroll-graphics

[wormstacheangel]

hi this was totally inspired by @archervale birthday post [x]

happy late birthday to my best friend, babygirl, and all-time favorite character who is totally real and alive thanks

They’ve been asking him for weeks now what he wanted to do for his birthday. He always answered with, “Let me think about it.”

It wasn’t the first birthday they celebrated as retired old fucks but now they’re more comfortable owning that title. At least he is. Sam kept asking him to stop. Plus, Sam’s not retired. He’s missing out on the good life. 

Still, Dean wasn’t sure what to do for his birthday. 

There was a time in his life when he refused to acknowledge it. Every passing minute he’d be surprised he was alive, while other times, he’d wish he wasn’t. It was confusing and definitely not something an ice cream cake and balloons could fix. 

But now, oh, he fucking celebrates. 

One year they tried to go out to a nice dinner like in the movies but the big group became too loud and their stories weren’t very family-friendly. They have done bowling for Sam’s birthday, a BBQ at a park for Eileen’s, and even an escape room for Jack’s birthday but that one didn’t go well at all. Cas even got to celebrate some birthdays. Went to Disneyland one year for it and now there’s a video of Dean crying while Chewbacca hugged him.

The point is they’re making up for all the missed birthdays. And this one is a big one for him. 

“I’m 45!” Dean entered the water park with a big grin and sticky from the layers of sunscreen Cas smothered him in. “Point me to the lazy river!”

He decided on a waterpark last week when he saw a video of some dude just floating away with a coconut drink in hand. It became his new life mission to become that man. So they all booked a plane, bought a shit ton of sunscreen—it’s an indoor park but Cas insisted—, and are now marching with their flip-flops to get a good spot to put their things down. 

Everyone went their separate ways as soon as they set their things down. They’ll meet up for lunch and dinner plans were already reserved at a Mexican place across the street. 

Life couldn’t get better than this. 

“Dean? You want to get a drink before we float all day?” Cas took his hand, leading him toward the juice bar. No alcohol is served here. 

Dean let Cas lead the way. Holding his hand securely as he looked around the place. Still pretty empty—it was a Wednesday morning— and it smelled like clean chlorine mixed with some artificial tropical scent. He liked it. 

A few minutes later they were floating down the lazy river together. Drinks in one hand and his husband’s hand in the other. Dean would happily get used to this. 

“Happy birthday, Dean.” Cas kissed him during lunch, giving Dean a slice of apple pie with a candle on top. 

Jack took pictures and started singing Happy Birthday while the rest of them joined in. Dean looked around at his little family, a bunch of weirdos who just found each other even though the story told them otherwise, and blew out his candle. 

“What did you wish for?” His husband asked while everyone else dug into the sandwiches. 

Dean smiled at him. Watching as Cas’s loving expression mirrored his. “Nothing else I need, sweetheart. I already have you.”

This made his husband roll his eyes but it got him a kiss too. A win is a win.

[lindsaywesker]

Good morning!  I hope you slept well and feel rested?  Currently sitting at my desk, in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day.

Too Much Information Tuesday happened yesterday, so let’s just reflect on a fabulous long weekend, which continues today!

Friday was pretty normal.  Saturday was superb, as ever.  Many thanks to everyone that listened to the show.  If you missed it, it’s available on Mixcloud.  My team played well and won.  Top 6 at Christmas.  After years in the doldrums, I’ll take that.  We just need a few new players and we’ll have a decent squad.

On Sunday, as predicted, I did a huge shop at Sainsbury’s.  Cashed in all my Nectar points and got £30 knocked off my bill.  Many will say it’s a false economy, as Sainsbury’s is one of the most expensive supermarkets.  Yeah, maybe it is, but we like their food.

The queue to check out was 30 minutes!  As I queued, I talked to this woman, and we couldn’t remember the last time Christmas Eve was on a Sunday, definitely contributing to the congestion!  The Trouble wasn’t really feeling Christmas Eve and dozed most of the day, only waking up at midnight to start wrapping presents.  Best to let her work to her own rhythms. 

Christmas Day was brilliant!  We had ackee, saltfish and hard dough bread and butter for breakfast.  Including all the kids, we had 24 for dinner!  More than we’d expected.  The dining room was a glorious cacophony of very loud teasing, insults and laughter.  There was no room for me at the table, so I ate in the front room.  Vegetable soup for starters, roast lamb, roast chicken, BBQ ribs, roast potatoes, fried plantain, macaroni cheese, stuffing and gravy for mains.  Trifle for dessert.  Nobody went home hungry and that made me very happy.  I love my family and I love feeding them!  The Trouble out-did herself & cooked up a veritable storm!

We’ll be off to Hove soon, to see Lady Wesker & my brother, in from Leipzig.  That will involve eating more food, so I’ll make sure I walk down to the sea front on Wednesday morning.     

Have a tremendous & tumultuous Tuesday.  I love you all.

[sapphiredhearts-a]

let's talk early life

Jacob had a very happy childhood . His parents were childhood sweethearts & for his memory he did not recall a time where there was any strain on their marriage . of course his twin sisters were able to recall a particular argument involving a pregnant woman in La Push once upon a time - but it seemed to go nowhere & they never spoke on it .

For the most part - Billy Black worked & Sarah Black stayed home with the children . Sarah was a beautiful woman with a sunny disposition that made anyone love her within moments . She cared about everyone & would lend a helping hand to whomever needed it . She had gone to school to be a teacher but had decided to stay home with the three children as she felt her calling was truly to be a mother .

Jacob was probably the closest to his mother , always choosing to toddle along behind her or begging her to take him wherever she went . He enjoyed time with his father but in the beginning they were not very close - only bonding over sports or cars which Jacob took a liking to very young .

Around the time Jacob was seven , his home life began to change . His mother started to become withdrawn - sad even . He was not sure what happened but overheard his sisters talking about some baby . They always quieted when he came into the room so he never learned the true story . In time it would come to be a habit - secrets were something the Black family did well .

Over the next few years Sarah would stay in bed more often than not & when she was out she often wandered to the beach alone - either walking the shore or staring off into the distance as she sat on the sand - a blank expression in her eyes . Jacob was terrified & did all he could to try to bring her back to life . Nothing worked as it was beyond his capability but he tried anyway - even going so far as to quit baseball at school and come home to try & do things for his mother . People whispered , of course , but he paid no mind to them .

Age 9 is when tragedy struck . Nobody knows what happened on the rainy night that his parents got into the car crash . Some say Billy was driving back home from the Clearwater's annual summer BBQ . Some say it was Sarah who hadn't wanted to attend in the first place . What everyone did know is that it changed the Black's family dynamic forever . Sarah died on impact & Billy was left paralyzed from the waist down - having to be put into a wheelchair for the rest of his life .

Jacob's sisters very obviously blamed Billy . Rebecca was the first to want out - staying away from the house at all hours & talking nonstop about how she would find a way from this "hell" of a town . She and Jacob had never been particularly close but this drove an even bigger wedge between the two . It took awhile but when she was in her senior year of high school - Rebecca met a tourist on vacation from Hawaii . Jacob figured she would have married him for the plane ticket alone but she seemed to truly love Solomon & left as soon as the wedding vows were said . Afterwards , she never visited .

Rachel , for the most part , tried to help out . But anybody could see that it was wearing on her . She was not made for domestic life & although she did her part in raising Jacob it was apparent that she loathed having to help Billy & had unresolved anger towards the man . When she was accepted to college she left too , leaving Jacob at home with Billy at the age of 14 .

Jacob rose to the occasion as he knew his mother would want him to do . He did well in school & even found time for his friends Quil & Embry - although they mostly hung out in his garage in case Billy needed him . Unlike his sisters , the accident had driven Billy & Jacob closer together . Sometimes he thinks it is because he was scared to lose both parents - but otherwise he tries not to think too hard on anything surrounding those years right after his mother's death . He prefers to stay optimistic .

Jacob was popular in school & certainly had his pick of girls from not only his school but in Forks . But he mostly stayed away from forming deep bonds with anyone outside of his two friends . It was too difficult to juggle anything more & he figured eventually he'd have time for himself . He never asked questions about anything about their past & it seemed that this pleased Billy . Although he did find his father's increased ramblings on the tribe's legends & history to be annoying . Jacob did not believe in anything out of the ordinary until he had to .

[youngcheesecaketale]

Omega’s First 4th of July

Today was a special day for Omega. Today was going to be Omega’s first time watching the Fireworks. She is 3 yrs old now. Hunter and the others tried to show her Fireworks but she would fall asleep before they EVEN started. This year they….well Tech MADE sure that she would see her first Firework show. Tech planned the WHOLE THING OUT so Omega would have a WONDERFUL and a MEMORABLE 4th of July with her family. Even her Uncles, Aunts, and Cousins were coming.

Tech made sure that everyone had a KEY ROLE to make this day SPECIAL. This is what Tech gave everyone.

Hunter: Get Omega dressed into her cute Red, White, and Blue Outfit. (I found this picture on the internet)

Echo: Clean the Picnic Table and set the paper plates and plastic utensils. 

Wrecker: MAKE SURE TO NOT BLOW THINGS UP. WE DON’T WANT THE FIRE DEPARTMENT COME AGAIN LIKE LAST TIME. 

Crosshair: Picking out Fireworks and Lighting them. He was also in charge of cooking the Hamburgers and Hot Dots on the grill.

Tech was in charge of making sure the food WASN’T EATING by Wrecker and laid the food on the table. Tech had invited other Family Members and asked them to bring something too.

Cody & Obi Wan: Potato Salad

Rex & Ahsoka with their kids Jasmine & Jasper: Drinks (Beer & Soda for the Kids)

Anakin & Padmé with Luke & Leia: Chips

99 & Shaak: Famous Chocolate Chip Cookies

Cut & Suu with Jek & Shaeeah: Green Jello

Once all the rest of their family members came, they all started eating and enjoying the food. Crosshair was a GREAT COOK. Especially whenever he cooked food on the BBQ grill. Hunter made sure that Omega was in a DIFFERENT outfit so she wouldn’t get food on it.

Omega was SO HAPPY to see her Uncles, Aunts, and Cousins, that she went to each one of them saying “FIREWORKS! FIREWORKS! FIREWORKS!” instead of saying hi to them.

“Are you excited to see the Fireworks, little one?” Obi Wan asked her. Omega jumped up and down saying “YES!!

“You’re not going to fall asleep like last time are you?” Cody jokingly said with a chuckle.

“NOPE.” Omega said as she shakes her head. Then Omega said this. “I’m not going to fall asleep. Wrecker and I made a promise.”

“Oh. What did you guys promise?” Rex asked when he overheard HOW EXCITED Omega was. Hunter joined too.

“Uncle Wrecker said that if I stay awake when we do the FIREWORKS, he will secretly pull me to the side so I CAN LIGHT a FIREWORK. He also told me that he would give me PIXIE STICKS to help me stay away. Uncle Wrecker told me to not tell anyone but Uncle Echo told me to NEVER LIE if someone tells you something.” Omega said in her cute toddler voice. She is still learning what a secret and a lie is.

Once Hunter heard that, he went over to Wrecker and had a LONG, VERY LONG talk about what Omega told them. Wrecker said that he was the same age when he FIRST lit a FIREWORK. 

99 overheard this and yelled back, “The only way you were able to light a FIREWORK because your DRUNK Uncle Alpha took you to a church parking lot gave you a lighter. You guys lit a FIRECRACKER ROCKET which hit the roof of the church! I don’t know how my Brother was able to sneak you out….” Before he could finish, Shaak smacked 99’s head. “The reason you didn’t know was because you were drunk!” Shaak yelled at him. 

As Tech saw this WHOLE DRAMA going on, he saw Omega getting emotional. He didn’t want her to have a FIRST 4TH OF JULY ruined. He quickly stopped the fight by yelling at them to stop as he motioned his head towards Omega. Everyone who was arguing stopped to see that Omega was crying. Hunter IMMEDIATELY picked up Omega and told her that they aren’t mad at her as he rubbed her back. Started to come down. Hunter told her that she was TOO young to like BIG FIREWORKS but that she would be able to help light a different kind of FIREWORK. She would light the others SPARKLERS after someone lights her SPAKLER. She would use her SPARKLER to light the other kids SPARKLERS. Omega was happy that she was able to “LIGHT” her first FIREWORK. She stopped crying and asked if they could do it now. They told her that they will do it when it gets a little bit more dark.

As soon as it got dark enough to light a few FIREWORKS, everyone laid out blankets and chairs on the front lawn to watch the FIREWORKS.  Hunter helped Omega get into her cute outfit. It was a little struggle getting it on her because she wouldn’t stop moving. He finally got her in it as she ran outside to sit on the lawn with her cousins.

Crosshair gave Omega a lit SPARKLER and told her to light everyone else’s SPARKLER. As was doing that, Hunter noticed that Omega’s SPARKLER was almost out. She wouldn’t get a chance to draw/write. He decided to tell Omega that she was done lighting everyone’s SPARKLER and traded her a new lit one. Omega had a BLAST drawing and writing letters. She was trying to write “Uncle Wrecker” but spelled it like this “Unkle Wraker”. She is still learning her ABC.

After the SPARKLERS were done, it was now for the REAL SHOW. Crosshair light one after another. Omega was fascinated with the colors and sounds. Hunter was afraid that she would get scared with the loud noises but she didn’t. This was a 4th of July that they will NEVER FORGET and Omega’s first FIREWORK show. She stayed awake through the WHOLE thing. Wrecker might have given Omega 2 PIXIE STICKS when no one was looking. But overall, it was a great 4th of July.

[northstaffstv]

An on-call firefighter in Staffordshire who gave more than 20 years of his life to local communities has been recognised for his efforts. Glyn Chen was presented with a ceremonial axe by Chief Fire Officer Rob Barber to mark his retirement at a surprise ceremony at Chase Terrace Community Fire Station alongside his colleagues he’s worked with over the years. Glyn first joined the Service back in 2000 where he was an on-call firefighter in Brewood for 10 years before re-locating to Chase Terrace. Glyn said: “I moved to Brewood from Wolverhampton and remember seeing the fire engine drive past every now and then and thought how satisfying that job would be, to make a difference and give something back to the community. “When I applied, I was working with my brother dealing with the importing and exporting of engine components, then helping my sister at the weekends in her fish and chip shop. Luckily for me, the role of an on-call firefighter is quite flexible I was able to fit my on-call hours in between my other jobs and commitments.” Glyn also has two children and he said: “My daughters were fairly young when I first joined the Service, so I had to really consider what hours I gave to being on-call as well as juggling three jobs. “Being an on-call firefighter was not only a big commitment for me, but also for my family as well. Fortunately, they were really understanding and supportive which made things easier to manage.” As an on-call firefighter, you have to be prepared to attend an incident at any time, day or night and sometimes that can also mean missing events and special occasions. Glyn said: “I remember one time we were having a BBQ and just as we were about to eat, my alerter went off and I had to leave and go to the station. “There have also been many times where I’ve been called out in the middle of the night, but no matter when you’re called, you never know what incident you’ll be attending and no two jobs are ever the same. “The job is so varied and that’s what makes it so satisfying.” Like Glyn, many of our on-call firefighters have other jobs (also known as primary employment) and together, they bring a range different skills, experience and knowledge to the Service. Glyn said: “Most of the crews I’ve worked with work in different trades so they’re able to bring different transferable skills to the team which means we have a good skills base to deal with different situations. “Working with others, working as a team and making new friends was one of the best things about this job. You’re in it together and you build a unique bond and you all join to help others.” Chief Fire Officer Rob Barber said: “Our on-call firefighters give so much to their local community and Glyn has done this for over 20 years. The commitment that Glyn and his family have given to Staffordshire residents is remarkable and I am so very grateful for his Service. “Glynn is a credit to the Service and we all wish him well for the future.”As we wish Glyn all the best in his retirement, we are also looking for new on-call firefighters to join our crews and help our communities. For more information about the role and to apply, visit: On-call firefighter recruitment CFO Rob Barber and Glyn Chen Read the full article

[travelingtheusa]

TEXAS

2024 Apr 20 (Sat) – We went to Spindletop-Gladys City this morning.  It was the site of a big oil dig and the city was, at one time, full of well heads.  We went through a museum and walked the sidewalks of a replica old west town.  There was some kind of health fair going on and tables were located around the square with different organizations offering information about their particular health plans.  There was also a band playing on a raised stage in the middle of the square.

      We left with Joe & Diane and went to lunch at Floyd’s BBQ.  The meal was good and we brought home left overs.  Back at the campground, Diane made carnitas for dinner. 

2024 Apr 19 (Fri) – We both packed up and left Ledbetter at 9:05 a.m. after first stopping at the dump station.  It was a long drive to Beaumont.  We missed a turn for I-10 and had a heck of a time finding a route to Sam’s Club to stop for lunch.  We wound up taking over 5 hours to get here to the Elks Lodge.  We set up, took a short nap, then went into the lodge to pay for 2 nights camping.  We have full hook ups with 50 amp service.  The camping area (can’t really be called a campground) is a kind of mish mash in the parking lot.  Very un-improved.

      We had drinks, played shuffle board, and had dinner.  The exalted ruler reheated smoked ribs, chicken and beans.  They also offered potato salad, cole slaw, and bread pudding with a pecan sauce.

2024 Apr 18 (Thu) – We drove into Brenham at 11:30 a.m.  First stop was at Blue Bell Creameries. They stopped giving tours 2 years ago so we just stood on the second floor and looked down at the factory workers hard at work.  There was a museum area that explained the process for making ice cream and lots of pictures of the founders of the creamery.  It is still a family run business.  We then stopped at the counter and each got a scoop of their special flavors.

     Now that we had finished our dessert, we went out to lunch at Must Be Heaven.  It was a very eclectic restaurant.  You picked up a menu, got on a long line, and placed your order.  We then moved down the line where several employees behind the large counter prepared your food.  It was all pretty good.  We then took a walk around the quaint western town, admiring the many murals painted on the sides of the buildings.

      Sated and satisfied, we headed down the road to Koopers Distillery where we tasted different types of bourbon and a whiskey.  Paul bought one bottle and Joe bought two.

      At 5 p.m. we went to Joe & Diane’s RV where she cooked pork carnitas with lime rice.  After our meal, they taught us how to play Pegs & Jokers.  It was fun.

2024 Apr 17 (Wed) – We packed up and left Fredericksburg at 9:40 a.m.  It was almost 4 hours to Ledbetter where we are camped at Lake Sommerville State Park Nails Creek Campground (isn’t that a mouthful?).  We stopped at WalMart for lunch and Paul pulled over to the side of the road when he spotted a liquor store.  I ran in to get a replenishment for our libations.  We arrived at the new campground around 2 p.m.

      At 4:30 p.m. Joe & Diane and we drove down the road to a little barbecue place to get dinner.  It turned out to be something about the size of a broom closet with a huge smoker outside.  A woman sat at a window and took your order.  They only do sandwiches on Wednesday and Thursday.  Dinners are on Friday and Saturday.  We all got sandwiches.  The meat was good but they put it on regular hamburger buns, which were too soft and mushy.  Yuck!  After dinner, we played Rummy Kube.

2024 Apr 16 (Tue) – We went into town and had lunch at Opas Smoked Meats.  Joe & Diane met us there.  It was a kind of deli that also made sandwiches.  Paul and I both had chicken salad.  The bread was dry and crumbly but the salad was good.  Everyone wanted to walk the town but I was feeling woozy and went home to nap.  Every few months, I get that.  I think it’s the medication.

      At 5 p.m. we went over to Bill & Rhonda’s RV to join the remaining group of Cajuns (several have left) for a grilling.  We brought over chicken to grill.  Others brought steaks or burgers.  It was a very pleasant evening.  The sunset was beautiful with a bright red sky.

2024 Apr 15 (Mon) – We went to WalMart to pick up a few things.  My pedi-shaver and Paul’s shaver both quit on us.  We also got Sheba a new scratching post and a mat for underneath the cat box.  Still couldn’t find drawer slides.  *sigh*

      We did the laundry today.  For a resort, the machines were cheap!  Just $1.50 for washers and $1.00 for dryers.  It made me wish I had more laundry to do.  😊

      The President of SMART and his wife, Richard & Mary, drove in from San Antonio to join the group for potluck tonight.  We went over to visit with him at John & Kathy’s RV.  At 4 p.m. we went into the community hall for happy hour.  At 5:30 p.m. all the food was cooked and we shared a potluck meal.  Past President Willie and his wife Joyce also came in to visit.  It was quite enjoyable.

2024 Apr 14 (Sun) – We drove to Luckenbach this morning with Joe & Diane.  It is a modern day ghost town.  Three people live in the town but they have wooden buildings with shops, a large dance hall, and a stage for musicians.  The schedule is for music all weekend and there was a band setting up while we were there.  We got lunch at the one food truck in town.  It was far more reasonable than the food truck we ate at yesterday!  We wandered around the town, reading information plaques and memorial signs for those who started the town.  It was established in 1850 and closed in 1971.  Individuals have come along and made the town a tourist stop.  The lady who owned the hat store was from upstate New York and we enjoyed conversing with her about the poor state of affairs back home.  We then wandered through the general store and picked up a Christmas ornament.

      Our next stop was at Meierstone Winery.  John & Kathy know the owner and arranged for a tasting for a group of 12 of us.  I didn’t like any of the wine.  Paul bought 2 bottles.

      After our return to the campground and a quick nap, we went to happy hour.  Paul brought over the beanbag baseball game and we had a rousing competition.  It was fun.

      Sheba is doing better.  She, at least, is looking to eat again.  That was a pretty bad flare up she had.

2024 Apr 13 (Sat) – We ran into town to pick up a few things from WalMart.  Paul is still searching for 12” drawer slides.   It’s still the only size missing in all the stores we look in.  We stopped at the Auslander Restaurant for lunch.  It as a quaint German restaurant.  There were cuckoo clocks on the wall and the stuffed heads of elk and moose around the room.  Paintings were hanging to depict the German countryside.

      After happy hour, Joe & Diane and we went over to a parking lot next to the campground where there are six food trucks parked.  We got burgers.  It was quite expensive!  There was a band getting ready to play some music.

2024 Apr 12 (Fri) – We packed up and left Elm Mott (Waco) at 9:30 a.m.  With Joe & Diane in tow, we headed out to Fredericksburg.  Johnny & Linda dropped in on our group about half way here.  We pulled off into a WalMart parking lot to make sandwiches, then continued to Fredericksburg RV Park.  We were here back in 2017.  It’s still a very nice campground.  And the laundry is cheap, too!  $150 for washers and $1 for dryers.  They have a community room that the Cajuns will use for our 5-day stay here.  We all enjoyed happy hour at 4 p.m.  The group had a potluck for dinner at 5 p.m.

2024 Apr 11 (Thu) – We had a delightful tour of the Waco Mammoth National Monument this morning.  I thought we had seen it before but it was totally unfamiliar to both of us.  Two boys found a bone while exploring a creek bed.  They brought it to a nearby museum.  It turned out to be the leg bone of a Columbian mammoth.  Excavation found 15 mammoths at the site.  It was a nursery herd that was at a watering hole when a flash flood trapped them in the mud (or so they hypothesize).  Since, they have discovered more bones and are still digging out more remains.

      The dig site was covered by a large building.  We walked in the door and were on a suspended walkway that looked down on the dig site.  There were several bones marked with signs identifying where remains were found as well as implements spread around the place telling what they are used for.  It was an interesting stop.

      After the monument, Johnny & Linda and Joe & Diane and we went to lunch at Ninfa’s Mexican restaurant.  The food was very good.  We then ran some errands – stopped at Home Depot, Lowe’s and Ace Hardware looking for drawer slides to repair the desk drawers.  There seems to be a shortage of 12” drawer slides.  There are many other sizes in stock, but no 12”.  Wonder what’s going on.  We also stopped at H.E.B. to pick up potatoes for potato salad for a potluck and the gas station to fuel up for tomorrow’s move.

      When we got back, we had happy hour where the group played card bingo.  It was a good night for the Thomases!  I won a game and Paul won 2 games.  All in all, we won $20.  Then we went to Johnny & Linda’s new rig for dinner.  She made chicken and rice; I made a salad.  They traded their Class A for a Class C rig.  It is much smaller than their previous rig and they are adjusting to it.  We are still adjusting.  Both of us keep going to the wrong cabinet for the garbage.  Just got used to where things were before.

2024 Apr 10 (Wed) – It was raining lightly this morning.  We packed up and with Joe & Diane in tow, we pulled out at 9:35 a.m.  The rain picked up over the ride and it poured buckets during some parts of the trip.  We traveled Route 31 to Elm Mott, just outside of Waco.  There was a section of road that so bad.  We hit many bumps.  When we got to the campground and opened the slide on the RV, we had damage.  The drawers on the desk had opened and caught the side of the slide.  Two drawers were damaged beyond repair and the trim piece around the slideout was pulled out.  We also found another leak in the RV.  *sigh*  I am suffering buyer’s remorse.  There are several things about this RV that I am not happy with.

     After set up, we did the laundry.  At 5 p.m. we went over to the community room where almost everyone else joined us for happy hour.  There were some very tasty snacks.  When we got back, I worked on sending out a newsletter about the upcoming National Muster in September while Paul went out to Home Depot to buy material to repair the drawers.  They did not have everything we needed but there was a liquor store next door.  Paul was able to replenish our alcohol supply, so all was not lost.

2024 Apr 9 (Tue) – It rained all morning and didn’t clear up until almost 2 p.m.  Because of the rain, no one really did any activities together.  At 4 p.m. we climbed into Joe & Diane’s car and drove down to Easley’s Steakhouse where about 12 of us had dinner.  There definitely seems to be a very strong schism in the Cajuns chapter.  Doug, who was supposed to be coordinating activities, hasn’t done any planning and has shared no information.  There is a lot of grumbling about the lack of communication. 

       After dinner, Joe, Diane and we went to the town square to explore.  We parked and walked around the block.  Like many small towns we have been in, Canton’s court house is located in the middle of the square.  Stores and shops surround the court house on all 4 sides.  We had to cross the road at each corner to go to the next area.  Most of the stores were closed.

       Afterward, we came home and prepared for tomorrow's move.

2024 Apr 8 (Mon) – Today was the Solar Eclipse.  We worried about the weather – forecasts were for thunderstorms and hail starting around the time of the eclipse.  Although there were scattered clouds, we were still able to gather together and watch the eclipse.  Totality took place at 1:44 p.m.  It got pretty dark for a few minutes.  Automatic sensors turned on outside lights.  Bo grilled up some hamburgers and Diane made chili.  The rain started after 7 p.m. tonight.  Paul discovered that the window next to the desk is where the leak in our side cabinet is coming from.  He’ll take a look at it tomorrow.

2024 Apr 7 (Sun) – We worked around the rig, continuing to plan our Michigan caravan next year.  Paul and I went food shopping to pick up snacks for happy hour.   Happy hour was at 4:30 p.m.  We went to dinner with Joe & Diane, Johnny & Linda, and Hank and Brender.  We ate at Val’s Italian Restaurant.  There has been a band playing in the field across from the parking lot for 2 nights.  We sit in the rig and listen to them playing.

2024 Apr 6 (Sat) – We left the Shreveport Elks Lodge at 10:30 a.m.  The drive was just 2 hours.  We stopped for lunch at a rest hour about half an hour away from Canton.  When we came out of the rig, we discovered we were hemmed in by 2 semi-trailers.  We started to back up when they both pulled out.  That was a pain in the butt!

      When we got to First Monday Trade Days Campground, we had to call to the camp host, Frank.  He arrived in his little golf cart and led us to our site.  We are basically located in a huge open dirt lot with rows of hookups.  Every site is a pull thru.  It is good to see many of our friends here: John & Kathy from our Appalachian Caravan this past October, Johnny & Linda (who we just left in Chatham, LA), Joe & Diane, Bo & Karen from Mississippi, and Hank and “Brender” (Brenda with an accent) from south Texas.  There was happy hour at 4:30 as we all caught up with one another on what we’ve been up to.  Four of us have new rigs so it was fun touring everyone’s camper to ooh and aah over them.   

[indigo102-blog]

Hospital staycation begins …

To add a little context. In my previous post I said I went from being extremely physically fit. I was cycling over 4,500 miles a year and was about to head to Mallorca for a cycling trip which would have involved around 300 plus miles of cycling and a lot of climbing. I was in pretty good shape. Additionally, I can handle a bike and am a pretty experienced cyclist having ridden over 20,000 miles in the previous five years.

Saturday 23rd April 2022, life took a sudden turn. We had been having a very relaxing typical Saturday afternoon in the garden, few jobs around the house, weather was warm despite it being April. Friends popped over on the way back from town to say hello. Around 6.00pm, I turned to the BBQ to cook and an invitation to supper was extended to the friends.

After supper, I retreated to watch Tyson Fury fight against Dillian Whyte, friends remained in the kitchen chatting with my wife. Our daughter was at work, in a well-known restaurant in the city centre just one kilometre away. On the suggestion that I needed to meet her after her shift, I said I would send a taxi to pick her up as I was watching the fight. The fight finished early, after just 6 rounds, so I was now free to make the meet. I jumped on my bike, lights on and slowly went down the drive and proceeded to cross the road and head into town. The time 10.55pm. That is the last I remember.

I was found some 4 minutes later lying in the road, opposite my house, having crashed off my bike. The cause, which I was later able to piece together - I had hit a pothole. The family that found me lying motionless in the road, their son a friend of my son so they knew who I was and where I lived. I must sincerely thank this family who found me in the road, called 999, knocked at the house to alert my wife and for the fantastic way they supported me moments after the incident until the emergency teams arrived.

Records note: 4 police cars, 4 ambulances, Air Ambulance paramedics all came to the scene after being called at 11.03pm.

The first moment I recall, although I could not see. My wife’s voice saying, “it is four o’clock in the morning, do you know where you are?” “You have come off your bike and you are in hospital”.

The long night began as I was taken for emergency surgery. I woke to find myself lying in Ward One, Major Trauma. The hospital staycation had begun …

[savingjayden]

ꕀ ᐝ 𖠳 derek discanio, cismale, he/his ᐝ ꕀ ‷ heads up ; if you hear limits by bad omens blaring, it’s most likely jayden "jay" hanson making their way down the shore ! they’re 30 years old and celebrate their birthday on 08/26 - i knew they were a/an virgo ! especially since they’re very charming and reckless. they are from albany ny, staying in sunset retreat and are currently working as a/an lead singer in saving annie, here at the cape. they always did remind me of aesthetics nike sbs, backwards hats, and plaid button ups.‷

INTRODUCING…

NAME: Jayden Robert Hanson

GENDER & PREFERRED PRONOUNS: Cis male {He/him}

AGE: 30

BIRTHDAY: August 26, 1992

SEXUALITY: straight

FACE CLAIM: Derek Discanio

LABEL: The Rockstar

OCCUPATION: Lead Singer in the band Saving Annie

HOMETOWN: Albany, NYC

CURRENT RESIDENCE: Sunset Retreat, Cape May, NJ

CHARACTER PLAYLIST: HERE

Jayden Robert Hanson is the son of Rockstar Jackson Hanson guitarist of the 80s hairband Heavens Gate and Laywer Helena Hanson. When he was younger his dad was not really around because his band was still touring in his band and playing music while his mom was home taking care of him. They were not rich for say but they did have money. He knew something was up when his mom moved him to a bigger house when he was 9 years old and his dad didn't come with them. At the age of 15 he got into high school and started skateboarding, listening to bands like Blink-182, Sleeping with Sirens and All Time low as well as started dating a beautiful girl named Annie. One day he went home with his girlfriend and started singing at a bbq they had and there was a friend of his moms who was a talent agent there asking if Jayden did it professionally and he shook his head after the guy said his dad would be proud of him and is looking down on him. confused before he looks at his mom and questioned what this man just said. His mother said they moved here because his father passed away on tour and she didn't know how to tell him and this talent agent was her boyfriend. He went inside and started grabbing his stuff and took Annie with him. At the age of 18 he graduated high school and never spoke to his mom. Annie was going to college USC to be exact and he needed something because college was not an option for him. So he spend days and even nights in his house that he paid for with the money his father left him in a trust fund before his passing. The male wanted to start a band. He had some friends of his looking for a lead singer so he basically did what Vince Neil did in the movie the dirt and tried out and he was perfect and they knew he was perfect as well. They were about to go on their first call as he had gotten a call from Annie's mom and she had passed away from a car accident and was driving under the influence. He then went to rock bottom. He knew this wasn't what he needed because he was about to go on his first tour with his band but his friends cancelled the tour because of it. In the summer of his 19th birthday he said goodbye to the love of his life with his best friends and told her mom that he was here for the family. Annie's mom told him that Annie loved him and before she passed away Annie told her that she knew he was special and that's why she loved him. She told her mom that if he didn't go on the road she would come home and push him to do it then never go back to college because his dreams came first. Jayden knew what he had to do. He ran out of the wake after it was over to the rehersal space where his band was and told them that He was ready but they were changing the name from Sly Hookers to Saving Annie. They agreed and knew it was the right way to honor Annie's memory Jayden is now 30 about to be 31 years old living in Cape May, NJ and still making music with his band even after a decade. He has worked with tons of other bands as well such as Our Last Night, Against The Current, Neck Deep and so may more. He has won a couple of awards but to this day he still thinks about Annie and what it would have been like if she was still with him today. He knows he can't change the past but he will make sure his future is bright and he does everything in memory of Annie.

[lindsaywesker]

Good morning! I hope you slept well and feel rested? Currently sitting in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day. Welcome to the working week although, for those of you working in the NHS, welcome to just another day.

My weekend was very enjoyable! For a wide variety of reasons. Actually, I always enjoy my weekend. Whether I’m doing something or nothing, I enjoy my life. My life is good.

Friday was a very long day! I was up before 6.00, scheduled to teach from 9.30-12.30, then I had planned to help a student with his podcast from 1.00-2.00, but then the school asked me to cover another lesson from 4.30-7.30. So, when I eventually got home just before 9.00, I was cold, tired and hungry but, thankfully, my house was warm and there was Chinese food waiting for me.

I’m not well. I sound a bit like Barry White. Got a bit of a cough and a cold. More like Barry Green! Thankfully, the radio show went well. Many thanks to everyone that listened to the show live and those that will listen to it on MixCloud. The Letter M (Pt. 11) is this Saturday at 1.00 p.m.

On Saturday evening, The Trouble and I attended a 90th birthday party. The father of GaryColonel Henry. 90 years old? Crikey, if I make it to 70, we’re having a big fuck-off party! If I make it to 80, you are ALL invited! When I first met The Trouble in 1982, she was part of a lover’s rock called Prediction, which is also when I first met Gary. Because they were brilliant, I began managing the band soon after and, many years later, Gary and I wrote most of the songs on the second Dazzle album, so we’ve known each other 40 years and been through a lot together. It was a pleasure to catch-up with old friends and hear lots of them grown folks, old time reggae tunes. Delicious catering courtesy of Angie’s Kitchen, who gave me some take away boxes, which I will eat today!

On Sunday, The Trouble cooked-up a storm and we actually entertained Sunday lunch guests. Most Sundays, we do a huge fry-up but, this week, we got rice & peas, stewed chicken, macaroni cheese and BBQ ribs. Yes, yes, I know. I am spoilt rotten. During Sunday lunch with some of The Trouble’s cousins, we were talking about Caribbean people reaching 90-plus, and they agreed it was probably due to more ‘natural’ remedies (such a soursop and cerasee) being dispensed, as opposed to yet another drug prescribed by the local GP.

My diary has suddenly gone barmy but there is lots to look forward to. We are down in Hove this weekend, I am spinning tunes at a wedding on May 27th and joining the Bank Holiday party at The White Lion (Streatham) on May 28th. We have one dinner date on 31st and another dinner date on June 3rd, it’s The Trouble’s birthday on June 11th, ‘The A-Z Of Mi-Soul Music’ is coming live from Summer Soulstice on June 24th and then I’ll be doing the Mi-Soul ‘Concert At The Castle’ event in Windsor on July 9th. ‘Let The Music Play’ is back at Cinnabar (Stevenage) on August 27th and, at some point in September, we need to go to Jamaica for a family wedding!

Sad to hear about the death of Dave Brown, presenter of the soul show on BBC Radio Kent for many years. First met him in about 1982. Back in the day, before the internet, for the good folk of Kent, Dave was their essential guide to the newest soul, funk, jazz-funk and disco releases.

The only problem with the 90th function was that it was held in a five-a-side centre, with guys playing football long into the evening. Needless to say, the male toilets were disgusting! What is it with men and toilets? All three stalls were clogged with toilet paper. Parents: do the world a favour and teach your boys how to use a toilet! How hard is it to take responsibility for your waste? Flush two and three times, if necessary. It’s not complicated.

Probably the funniest thing on Sunday morning was people on my timeline going, “Eurovision was rubbish!” Erm … Eurovision always has been rubbish and always will be rubbish. It’s a flawed concept. It makes ‘Naked Attraction’ look like good television!

Have a marvellous and momentous Monday. I love you all.

[badwolfweightloss-blog]

4-1

OK, its been a hot minute.

I went to disney. It was super fun. I ended up doing really well in the beginning before the family got there. I proved to myself that I can do this. Truth be told, I was not feeling deprived at all. Then the family came and all bets were off. I kept ordering luxurious meals, steaks, full apps and deserts, and the drinking started again.

Then, I came home, and instead of pulling my shit together, I took an entire month off, binging and drinking when I felt like it, because - why not?

What on Earth is the matter with me? Why do I do this self sabatoge to myself? It always follows a time when I am allowed to be off of my programs. I remember after losing a ton of weight, I ended up going to burger king because I really wanted to try that bbq sauce chicken sandwich they were pushing. It flipped the switch, and over the year that followed I gained it all back and more. Same story every single time I come back from vacation. This time in particular, I felt so angry and resentful that I had to come back home and continue life in the frozen tundra that is NY during March - I was completely unmotivated, had no interest in shopping or planning or cooking, or cleaning. It is April 1st and I still have not run any of my laundry. It is all piled up in my room and the laundry room. I don't know what's clean, dirty, ect. I'm having trouble finding clean underwear. I'm rewearing dirty stuff. This is what I have found myself doing - is it depression? A complete protest of living the way i have to live? A deep regret of the life choices i have made? All of that is amplified when I come back from vacation and see this life with fresh eyes, and juxtaposed with vacations, it sucks. Then, I play the same feelins and thoughts out over my chosen drug. Rinse, dry, repeat.

Anyway, Its April 1 - 1 month of that crap is done. I'm back. I logged my english muffin, egg, and cheese. I have preplanned lunch (out for lunch today for Dad's birthday.) But the thing i did that really triggered me back was ... I won a raffle for Orange Theory Fitness, and I took my first class yesterday. It was VERY scary and i almost walked out, but I stuck with it with much coaching, and I didn't die. I actually felt really good and my body isn't as sore as I anticipated today. I burned 520 calories. Amazing! I signed up for the same coach for tomorrow morning, which means I am not drinking tonight with my friends, even though they are coming over.

I also want to cook the ham my parents gave me - maybe I'll do that tonight and then I can give it away. I want to get a vegetable platter to munch on. Yesterday, I was munchie at my friends house, but couldn't stop with the cheese and the nuts. That was the 520 calories+ right there. GRRR. That's ok, its all new and I have a good feeling about this.

Additionally, I am planning to do some other fitness stuff too. I can't do OTF every day - well, I guess I can the first month, but next month I am signing up for the 4x a month plan, so I will have to suppliment my exercise program with some other stuff. Plus - you know, variety. So I'm thinking walking outside is great with the peleton coaches. They do fun 80s and disney walks so I will do one of those a week. Then I need two more fitness things that are fun and engaging to put into my schedule. That would be 4x a week. Plus I will push myself outside during work for walks to get moving. Its just not healthy to be sitting in front of the laptop for 8+ hours a day.

Also, gotta start planning meals again. Lets go easy - I need to be able to start small with all of this, or i won't see any improvements.

[xtrablak674]

I'm Still In It

"I have been thinking I want to bbq once it gets warm out. I miss bigger family events."

An innocuous sentence from my niece, I am talking about the second one. I responded to her:

"I don't have words for that one, cause I don't mess with any family other than the kids."

My intention is never to be a downer but I like to keep it one hundred percent with the children. Curiously her statement bought me back to my childhood, which was significantly different than the solitude of my adulthood. All of this is a time before all the loss that I would face in my life. In my childhood I had all of my siblings and most importantly my mom, I had enough first cousins to start a football team. I was in the little league, church choir, school chorus and Boy Scouts to name a few extra curricular activities and of course had friend in all of these places.

Family events were an actual thing then, I even had my own family unit at that time! There were birthdays, Labor Day, July 4th, Memorial Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas events and or gatherings to attend. I had an extended family with my god grandmother and her sons and daughter who were uncles and aunt, her niece like a big sister to my young self. Even my spiritual life was cared for with weekly Sunday School, vacation bible school, bible study with Uncle Larry's Jehovah Witness friends.

I had a life filled with love and abundance, you would have never thought that my brothers and I went without anything, even though our mother supplemented her very meager single-mom income with food stamps (the paper ones), government cheese and other surplus welfare foods. I had a rich social, familial, and spiritual life. I have every confidence that my first depression didn't emerge until after my mom died, and I moved to the Bronx with my parental grandparents. They did their best, but city life is very different than living in a small town, whereas I had a concentration of relations literally blocks away, in the city family was there but not as close and that closeness makes all the difference.

Moving away from my live-in brothers to a younger one who was now closer but might as well have been on the moon, Harlem and The Bronx were in very different orbits. This brother I shared a father with, so the grandparents I now lived with were also his grandparents. Due to our distance, and the demons that haunted his mothers mental capacity, we would never be 'brothers' in they way my womb-mates were, the siblings I shared a mom with.

Notwithstanding his being about a decade younger than me, I don't think I even considered that he would proceed me in death. But as I had a serious think this morning, I had the dour realization that all of my siblings may proceed me in death. Due to the advantages of living with my affluent grandparents my life had turned out very differently than theirs. It was clear that my health and lifestyle surpassed their meager livings.

Unlike me you couldn't see the wear and tear of lowing paying jobs and long hours on my body or a part of my psyche. My hands were soft and my feet well manicured because I worked in either salaried positions or high paying independent contractor work, my hourly jobs behind me in my past as a teenager. These kind of things wither the body and the soul and albeit I hadn't seen my womb-mates in year I could see the pictures of them their children shared, and could readily tell I was doing better than them, at least financially.

This isn't really what I signed up for, because I plan on dying at sixty-four while I still look amazing. But sadly life doesn't work like that we can't make appointments for our deaths, but our choices or actually lack thereof does lead us to stacking the fates either for us and against us.

My youngest brother was a chronic smoker, when he ran out of money to actually buy loosies, I recalled watching him and his wife looking for partially smoked, discarded cigarettes. I thought in addition to being a disgusting habit this extra bit of scavenging the streets for others refuse was very off-putting to me. I knew that his mother, like himself probably had undiagnosed and untreated bipolar disorder, and living with that level of paranoia and rapid mood changes had to be very difficult for a child.

I also believe she was probably physically abused as a child and this lead her abusing her own children. I feel strongly she had PTSD in addition to the cornucopia of mental health issues she also had, and these demons rages played out on her children and subsequently her grandchildren. She had bought her son up to be the dependent placated defeated man she wanted him to be and he died still living with and being supported by his mother at forty-three.

It feels disrespectful of me to be mad at him for who he became based on my full knowledge of who raised him, and what a toxic individual she was, I too suffered at her hand as a child and can't even imagine what living with her full-time would have done to an impressionable mind, but I guess now I did know seeing the light dimmed in those oh so curious and bright eyes I had seen when I came to visit him when I was nineteen and being disturbed that at his age maybe seven that he was still wearing diapers.

All the signs were there that this wouldn't end well and it sadly did not. And here I am being one of two survivors of my fathers family only Uncle Allen and myself remaining. I pray to Goddess that I proceed Uncle Allen, because in no way shape or form do I look forward to being deaths pariah watching everyone around me pass as I stand witness and once again inherit another dead persons belongings or assist in clearing out the detritus of their lives.

[Photo by Brown Estate]

[chroniclesofhopeandlove]

[thatbadadvice]

Help! What If A Person Has A Human Body At My Wedding?

Dear Prudence, Slate, 17 August 2022:

Q. Am I wrong to think his actions were rude and disrespectful toward me at their family BBQ? I recently met my fiancé’s family for the first time at the family BBQ which his mom and dad organized at their cabin at the lake. Everything went well overall until the end. They seemed like friendly people. The sister initially I thought was a bit stand-offish but by the end, we had a chance to chat and my perspective of her changed. Mind you I am a very intuitive person and I can usually pick up people’s energy. I am also an introvert, so it takes me time to warm up to people. As we were winding down to say goodbye to everyone, I was standing next to my fiancé and directly behind his brother with just a small space between myself and the brother.

The brother decided to let one out loudly. A huge loud fart. This is a full-grown, married man acting in this way. My fiancé’s reaction was to pull me closer to him. His family’s reaction was to scoff it off. I can tell his wife was not pleased but also smiled about it. I felt embarrassed and disrespected but I played it cool until a few days later when I attempted to talk to my fiancé about it, to tell him how I felt. And how I was concerned for this type of behavior to happen at our wedding. His brother had texted him the next day and stated he “felt bad for farting on me.” My fiancé became defensive and angrily stated, “I won’t invite them then if you are worried about your family being disrespected.”

He said I was getting too worked up about it. Am I wrong to think his brother was rude and disrespectful for releasing gas loudly on me? Whether he did it intentionally or not, that’s not something you do in the presence of a stranger you have never met before. I need some advice on how to move forward because I feel like the next family encounter will be awkward, especially if he is going to be my fiancé’s best man at our wedding. Please give me some advice.

-- Rude Welcome Into The Family

Dear Rude Welcome,

Wedding days are fraught enough without the threat of the possibility of a person potentially passing gas somewhere in the general vicinity of the proceedings, the all time worst thing that could ever happen at or to a wedding in the era of overlapping global pandemics and climate-change-induced extreme weather events. 

So no, you are emphatically not too worked up about this -- of all the things that could go wrong on your special day, one guy doing a fart is absolutely at the top of the list. When people think of things that could absolutely fucking decimate the day they’ve spent months, even years, planning, they think of a man farting. Brides and grooms the world over lay awake at night, trying to game out every terrifying eventuality that could result in the total destruction of their wedding experience, but none looms so large as: a fart.

You are infinitely kind and patient to entertain the thought that the fart could have been accidental, but we both know that all humans everywhere can contain their gaseous emissions all the time, because all our bodies all work exactly the same, and everyone knows that a barbecue meal of greasy smoked meats accompanied by flavorful greens and soupy baked beans is unlikely to produce alimentary gas! The math simply does not add up! This man is coming for you directly and specifically with his butt! The call is coming from inside this full-grown married man’s rectal cavity, and you mustn’t answer it! 

Trust your impeccable intuition for once. And indeed it’s lucky that this gastrointestinal, barbecudinal tragedy befell you, an intuitive person, before your future brother-in-law had a chance to raze an entire church with a toot. A person less attuned to the ~ vibes ~ of the universe might not have recognized this man as the agent of chaos he so clearly is, but you sussed out his nefarious flatus for what it truly is: the sheer essence of disrespect, an intentional and deliberate flatulative assault on you personally, and a warning shot across the bow of your future wedding vows. This man cannot be allowed anywhere near your nuptials, lest the force of his flatulence blow the entire wedding party to kingdom come, a thing he clearly intends to do on purpose because he had gas after eating barbecue one time when you were there.

In fact, you may consider retaining a notary to stand watch at the entry to your venue so that they can witness signatures for those guests who are willing to enter into a contractual agreement not to pass wind for for the following five hours. Attendees who are unwilling to show you this most basic sign of respect by shutting down the normal functions of their human body during an event that probably includes an elaborate sit-down meal could perhaps watch a livestream of the ceremony in the comfort of their own disgusting, fart-filled homes like the repulsive trash goblins they are.

[nev3rfound]

seriously, doll? : b.b

there was no denying bucky was a bit of a flirt. but when there is something underlying between the two of you, you can't help but feel jealous watching him flirt with sam's sister, sarah. (1.7k)

requested: yes by the lovely @interestedcas - apologies for the very long delay, but i hope it lives up to your idea! warnings: some spoilers for tfatws

also thank you so much for 6k!

masterlist / permanent taglist / etsy shop - requests open!

Sometimes you couldn't help but wonder if Bucky thought you must've been blind or deaf to not notice his small flirtatious acts arise with none other than Sam's sister, Sarah.

It was obvious he was flirting without trying to, that was part of the 'Bucky Barnes Charm' as Sam coined a few months ago when he witnessed Bucky painfully try to flirt with you.

The events that took place in Madripoor weren’t exactly what you’d coin as flirting. Being overly protective whilst you were assigned the role of Zemos arm candy, then yes.

“No one is here, Zemo. You can let go of her now.” Bucky sternly speaks up after being silent for the majority of the walk into lowtown.

Glancing over his shoulder, Zemo simply smirks at the former soldier. “There’s eyes everywhere, James. And I don’t think Y/n minds.”

Bucky opens his mouth to protest, but you beat him to it. “Y/n can speak for herself, thank you.” A scoff follows from you, and Bucky watches with pride as you slung off Zemo's arm. “You don’t have to touch me to play the part, Baron.”

Zemo tuts to himself. “But where’s the fun in that, liebling?”

Walking a few steps faster, Bucky finds himself alongside Zemo. "If you do anything that makes her even the slightest bit uncomfortable Zemo," Bucky forcefully starts, but Zemo remains unphased.

"You'll what? Kill off your only lead in finding the serum?" Zemo raises a brow, only to see Bucky clench his jaw and avert his gaze. "I thought so." He adds with a hum, holding his hand out toward you. "Come, Y/n, our work has only just started."

During that entire mission, Bucky kept a close eye on you. Whenever Zemo stepped out of line, Bucky noticed the smallest of changes in your demeanour. He'd watch your eyes close slightly, or your fake smile widens into a grimace; all of which boiled his blood.

And then once it was over and you were no longer required to be Zemo's arm candy Bucky almost stopped caring. He didn't make any remarks to Zemo about his behaviour toward you, instead, he went back to his normal self, well almost normal self as he seemed to avoid you like the plague.

Now free from the flagsmashers and the spread of the new super soldier serum you could all relax for the first time in months.

Sam had insisted you come to visit him in New Orleans, and you could hardly say no to the chance of a change of scenery and a challenge with his parents' boat.

Music filled the dock with family and friends enjoying the BBQ Sam helped put together. You couldn't keep track of the flow of beer and laughter that ensued throughout the day as Sam roped you into numerous conversations with old family friends.

And it was all good fun until Bucky turned up -later than intended. You could hear Sarah's children calling out to him, and glancing over your shoulder it was impossible to stop a smile forming on your face.

Bucky looked happy, truly happy clad in a denim jacket and sunglasses with a smushed cake in hand, typical.

Walking toward your friend with a spare beer, you could feel your heartbeat increasing as he slid the sunglasses off. "Hey, Buck-" Before you could finish, Bucky's attention averted to Sarah.

Remaining still, you watched in almost slow motion as he accepted a beer from Sarah, his hand lingering against hers. He was smiling at her with that dazzling smile rarely seen over these last few years, but whenever it did you couldn't help but feel weak at the knees.

Yet, you remain seated and watch the two of them, not interfering in the slightest whilst your heart hammers in your chest.

Sam rose to his feet, exchanging a knowing look between his sister and somewhat of a friend. "I told you, Barnes," Sam starts, holding his finger out at Bucky. "do not flirt with my sister."

Laughing along with the reminder, Sarah shot Sam a look whilst Bucky held his hands up in defence. "I was just being friendly." Bucky states with that smirk, and you can't help but take a bigger swig of your beer.

As the afternoon progressed into the evening, you watched from the sidelines, talking to various people but your ears always tuned in on Bucky wherever he was. You hated the unknown effect he has on you, that you're just his friend who he'll flirt with as mere banter. Whilst to you, everything he says you feel inclined to shield your heart, knowing it's only surface level talk.

"And that's when young Sam Wilson turned up," Kevin was chortling, unable to stop as he tries to regain composure. "wearing nothing but his underwear and Sarah's bra on his head!"

A series of recollections of that event quickly followed from other neighbours and their humour was contagious, ridiculously so.

"Oh, and here's the man himself!" Someone calls out and you turn to see Sam standing just behind you, noticing his smile growing from the company surrounding you both.

"So this is where you've been hiding, huh?" Sam nudges your arm, watching you playfully roll your eyes in response.

"Not hiding necessarily," You mutter in response, unable to stop your eyes glancing over to see Bucky at a table with Sarah's kids hanging from his metal arm. "just,"

"Avoiding?" Sam finishes for you with a knowing look. "I get it, things have been kinda tense between you two since Madripoor."

Scoffing lightly, you step away from the group of people you were previously talking to. "I don't know, Sam." You shrug it off. "He's happy, and I'm okay with that."

"Don't lie to yourself, Y/n." Sam tells you, catching up with you as you quickly walk along the docks toward the edge of the boardwalk. "It's not a bad thing, to be honest with yourself once in a while."

"I disagree." Shrugging your shoulders you continue walking despite Sam having stopped. "Helps avoid getting hurt." You mutter under your breath before reaching the edge of the boardwalk, wiping away the tears that begin to fall.

Closing your eyes, you exhale deeply before sitting down with your feet dangling over the edge of the well worn wooden boards.

Beneath your feet the waves crash against the structure, blocking out the sound of someone interrupting your tranquillity.

"Thought I saw you walk off in this direction." Bucky calls out. Now having caught your attention, he notices your shoulders slump and lack of acknowledgement. "Not that I blame you, I mean, wow." He whistles at the view, the various shades of orange and pinks painted across the sky begin to blend into the purples and blues of the night sky.

"It's peaceful." Finally, you respond whilst trying to keep your voice down so Bucky can't hear the crack that desperately wants to sound. "Just, just allows me to reflect and not worry for a while."

Bucky steps closer before sitting down next to you, his arm brushing across yours. He immediately notices the slight chill that runs through you and the frown etched across your face.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" He asks quietly, aware of your brows knitting together before you glance his way with glossy eyes and shake your head. "Come on, doll, it's only me." Bucky pushes the matter with a small smile, unaware of him worsening the issue as your heart pushes further outward of your chest, close enough for him to rip out if he wishes.

"You just don't get it, do you?" A sad laugh escapes as you shake your head. "It's not just you, Bucky, god." For a moment, your hands rise to cover your face and the choked sob that crawls up your throat. "I have spent months trying to push aside my feelings for you, any and every single thought I had over you has been blocked out. But when you asked me on this mission, I," You trail off, looking out at the waves once more. "I was stupid to think it meant something more than working together again."

Silence falls over the two of you uncomfortably whilst laughter echoes down the boardwalk.

"It, it wasn't just for the job." Bucky mutters, glancing up at you with a soft gaze. "These last few months without you haven't been easy."

Shuffling beside him, you turn your legs toward his and brush your foot across his as Bucky huffs loudly.

"Why didn't you say anything, Bucky? I, I would've answered if you called." You tell him quietly despite the slight annoyance he can trace in your voice.

"Because I didn't want to damage things." He blurts out. "So when this came up, it was almost the perfect distraction. Being with you on a mission felt weirdly comforting." A dry laugh leaves Bucky's lips, but you remain quiet, now listening intently. "It meant I could see you, be with you like old times before everything became so,"

"Complicated?" You finish for him, watching as he nods. "It doesn't have to be complicated, you know."

A small smile begins to toy at Bucky's lips at the thought, but he catches himself off guard at the sight of you shiver. "You cold, doll?" He asks and you nod.

"I knew I should've brought a jacket." You admit.

Before you're able to wrap your arms around yourself, Bucky shrugs off his denim jacket and drapes it over you. "There," He sighs in content and lifts his arm up, bringing you into his embrace. "no more complicated, yeah?"

Resting your head on his chest, the two of you sit in a comfortable silence watching the waves begin to die down and the sun now setting allowing an endless amount of opportunities to consume the night sky.

As your eyes begin to close, Bucky can feel your breathing slow.

Looking down, he lifts his metal hand up to brush your hair out of your forehead and with some confidence he gently kisses your temple with a smile.

"No more complicated." You whisper with a tired smile, feeling Bucky's heart practically skip a beat.

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[wordsbymae]

I really like the nickname peaches!!! But me personally I feel like her nickname would be generic like “baby” or darlin’. I can this being his very first and serious relationship with a woman before all the rest were quick and fun flings or one night stands to get his rocks off. But y/n doesn’t know this. Despite his brash and vulgar attitude Clement is handsome. The rugged type. He’s definitely not the pretty boy type 😂😂😂. Y/n dosent know much about sex besides that’s how children are made and all the practical uses. All the things she learned like (doggystyle, ass job, dry humping, boob job,etc) she learned it from him. So it won’t be strange for her to assume that he had many relationships like this with other women (she’s not wrong but not in the romantic sense) but she doesn’t know this and feels jealous when in reality she is (technically) his first gf and wife. It isn’t uncommon for men to get remarried so… I can imagine her getting a bit possessive over him. Unlike y/n Clement is hyper and overly aware of men’s perception and thoughts of his wife, it never occurred to her that other women would view her husband the way she did. So when catches her coworkers eyeing down him (he’s sitting in the lobby lazily flipping through the pages of a magazine), or when they go to church, the grocery store…acting on pure emotion she would skip over to him and command and intense and hot make out session in front of her surprised audience to show off her claim, he’s so confused like “???” And they get in the truck she tells him she “needs him” it’s astonishing how he didn’t blow his load right there. He dosen’t know what happened or if he was the reason but for sure he’s down to some good ole fuckin’ especially if she initial it this intensely. But he asks her “what brought this on?” “I don’t like how other women look at you” “how do they look at me?” “Like you don’t know” “ I don’t enlighten me, darlin”, she went on a tangent and quickly got scared that she might get punished by acting disrespectful towards him but once again he lets out a booming laugh at another one of her antics. And he lays naked there with y/n laying on chest also naked (of course) and they are having a heart to heart conversation (literally). As they continue their days together he gets exposed to more of her personality traits that he wouldn’t have guessed she would have from first meeting her. He thinks She’s very adorable and cute, especially the way she gets worked up over things he considers not so important. He can’t help himself from cuddling/hugging her tightly while laughing, she’s too cute! So now knowing this he would sometimes play into other women eyeing him, like maybe opening a few buttons, flexing his muscles, etc. basically putting on a show, y/n gets jealous and they fuck like to dogs in heat. And she lays there satisfied ( the double meaning 😂 I’m such a cornball). She feels like “only I get to do these things with him! And no other woman would ever get the chance to know what he looks after sex. Only I do”. Now Leroy loves his mother very much. He would protect her as much as he would die for her like any other loyal son. But because he loves her so much that’s why he keeps his no so legal activities from her. He knows she would be utterly heart broken. feel as if she failed him as a mother. When in reality she was exactly the type of mother he needed. When he brings bunny over for bbq with his whole family and his mother asks him how they met”…uhh…well”. And bunny quickly answers that her car wasn’t working and he stopped what he was doing to drive her home, it was love at first sight.His mother is utterly smitten.While his younger brother (1 year difference) laughs at bunny’s funny discreet way of telling part of the truth. Everyone “ohh” and “ahh” at Leroy’s wife and year old son.Because out of all the sons Leroy would be assumed to be last to become a family man, but here they are.I can imagine the other sons being their own families and it’s so much people they hold the event/lunch/dinner outside majority.Hope you liked :))))

I love the nickname darling!! man, I'm blushing.

I bet clement is kinda is envious of the "pretty boys" his Darlin would have been around. he thinks she would prefer men like that. he probably makes note of it when he's balls deep in her, saying shit like "I bet those pretty boys of yours wouldn't fuck you like I do", "them boys would be too gentle with ya, act like you're some kind of lady, but we know better don't we peaches, yeah we do, you like getting fucked like an animal"

Maybe even for her first time, he's saying (remember they weren't in love in love back then) things like "I ain't a soft man little lady, I'm not gonna lie and say I'll try and be gentle, lord knows a man like me ain't got no business touching a woman like yourself, but I made it my business, so you're gonna do the right thing by me as my wife and open those pretty legs without complaint". and of course, she's got no idea what to do or anything so she's laying rigid on the bed hands folded over her nightgown and she's freaking out. he tries to teach her of course, but he's not patient or gentle about it, this was when he thought she was a frigid bitch so at this moment all he cares about is his pleasure. in my mind their first time is doggy style, he wants to humiliate her and "bring her down to his level" and what better way to do it than making her feel less than human. but haha jokes on him, cause she just assumes that this is how all sex is done so she's like oh ok on my hands and knees then. of course, she would have liked to see his face, or even be cuddled afterwards but she is still afraid of him so she's just focusing on being a good wife.

maybe when he falls in love in love, he feels bad for how he treated her that first time (and legit every time since) in bed, so he's doing it properly and making love to her instead of just fucking her. and cause I'm a sucker for angst, its the first time he stays after sex and cuddles her, so she cries a little cause she just realised what she's been missing and what she was craving all those other times he just left straight away but didn't know what cause she had never been given it. clement is a bit scared by her crying until she explains and then he just feels like a dick head and realises if he had actually treated her with respect since the beginning they would have been making love and cuddling since the beginning (he tears up thinking all those moments they could of had, that he had he wasted)

yes! she's thinking he is so much more experienced than her (I'm thinking he's been with 3 women - yes lots of sex just not many women- before her, it's a small town and not a lot of people), so she feels insecure about her own lack of experience, especially when other women fawn over him! ahhhhh! reader would of heard all these horror stories from her mother and sisters of men cheating and having mistresses and throwing the old wife out and she is spending whole nights terrified he's gonna fall out of love with her. she thinks she's not very sexy or hot compared to other women and she's worried he's gonna get bored. so yeah she gets possessive, so she's kissing his cheek, putting his hand on her ass, going and giving him a big massive kiss in front of her work resident home wrecker (in theory only but reader is too paranoid to try her). It's the most desperate his darling has been for him ever and she's practically begging him to fuck her, so he's lost for words and has barely any thoughts besides where his keys are and where is his truck. I can see them getting hot and heavy in his truck near a lookout or something on the drive home and when he's finally coming down from his climax :

“what brought this on?” “I don’t like how other women look at you” “how do they look at me?” “Like you don’t know” “ I don’t enlighten me, darlin”,

and so she tells him of how it hurts her watching all those women touching him and fawning over him and he doesn't do anything to stop it ( cause he's oblivious), and how it makes her worried she isn't sexy enough or experienced enough. she is so worried he's gonna get mad thinking she doesn't trust him but he finds it hilarious she thinks he has eyes for anyone else and probably makes a joke back on himself like:

"It's my fault baby, I clearly wasn't loving on my sexy, beautiful wife enough. You must hate me, darling, you must! I haven't been showing my baby enough love, is that it? making you feel this way, don't you worry wife, I ain't got eyes for nobody but you honey, you and those gorgeous tits of yours"

he finds it so sweet she gets so worked up about her book collection and he just looks in confusion that ever so often she's rearranging it and then getting upset because it doesn't look good or she can't fit all her favourite books on a self and no clem! she cannot just put them on another self, those other selves have their own genres and if she put the rest of her favourite books on those selves the entire organisation is ruined! (wow really exposed myself there). and he's just hugging her as she's pouting and he's promising to go get her a new, bigger bookcase. (as you can tell I am very sad about my parent burning, that's right BURNING my bookcase while I was up at uni, my books are total fine and packed away, but it was so sad! my parents aren't evil or anything they are just preparing to sell the house) or how she eats certain things in weird certain ways without fault.

I loved this! especially the family get-together! very cute!!!!! can't wait to hear from you soon!

lots of love mae xx :)))