#finished up 1x05 again! finally!

[incorrectssr]

Been chewing cement over Dottie Underwood again so I present the court with some sleep deprived babbling about the Red Room/bread scene at the beginning of 1x05 'The Iron Ceiling' that I typed out on Discord. I have had so many interpretations of the bread over my six years in this fandom and I maintain Dottie considered Anya as prey from the very beginning.

So we know that the bread is a hidden luxury (if it can be called that it looks stale as heck) that Dottie should not have, although is likely encouraged to have as I think survival and secrecy is something promoted by her superiors (Heaven forbid she gets caught though). However, sleeping in the middle of a highly open plan room she has limited time to consume her contraband. Knowing that the Matron is looking the other way as she is concerned with the handcuffs of girls behind and walking in the direction opposite to her, the girls around her busy with making their beds, Dottie takes out the bread and faces the direction that the Matron is making her rounds so that she can see how long she has.

Of course, this time, Anya is there. I like to think of Anya as either being a new addition, an older girl when taken or generally one of the weaker members of the cohort because I do not think Dottie has any friendly intentions towards her. The former appears more likely as Anya is shown to be physically larger and stronger than Dottie in the final fight scene (Dottie flinches when Anya feints a lunge towards her). The sharing of the bread, as I have said previously in one of my many extrapolations on this scene, is a signal of enmity for Dottie (as seen with her offering half her baguette to Peggy in the diner immediately after the Black Widow sequence - although the line 'I can never finish mine' could be interpreted in such a way to support the idea of a genuine friendship but I think that would be a little out of character… unless the timeline of the first sequence is MUCH longer than it appears… interesting, I might have to explore that avenue of thought later).

However, I think it is a necessity as well. She has been seen; it was always likely she would be seen. So she has three options: intimidate, bribe, or do nothing. In a cutthroat world the latter option would be suicide and the former would do little good against a girl physically bigger than her and would attract too much attention. Her only option is bribery, which naturally casts herself at the whim of her victim who could always choose to say no and snitch on Dottie but Dottie is a clever little beast and has already scoped Anya out.

Anya is wide eyed in these opening scenes. She watches Dottie's transgression as though she has never seen something so bold, would never dream of doing something so daring. Intimidation would scare her too much, but a sweet touch? Dottie has memorised every word, every tone, every expression of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves - she knows a defenceless creature when she sees one. And she hasn't had anyone to practice her bright, happy, childlike joy smile on yet. So she hands Anya - starving, obedient Anya - half of her hard earned bread and breaks out her well rehearsed smile. Does it first, quick - I am a friend I am a friend I am your friend - to open up the possibility of amicable relations for Anya to flash her teeth back BUT Anya's smile reaches her eyes and for a sequence with so much focus on Dottie's eyes one will notice her smile doesn't reach her own.

It's actually really sickening this sequence - especially the scene where she kills Anya. That said I am obsessed with the way that Anya uses her size to intimidate Dottie in the fighting arena and the way Dottie flinches away proving that Anya IS the superior fighter, the stronger, bigger candidate who SHOULD win the fight. But she can't because Dottie has been placing these seeds of friendship in her mind - the bread, sitting beside her in the projector room - and that will weaken the strong but not the tenacious. And Dottie Underwood does not care about your feelings but she does care about survival.

But yeah, I think the bread occurs as a one time necessity and carries on as a litmus test - how you respond to the bread determines how Dottie will deal with you. Peggy's refusal of half of the baguette no doubt reaffirms Dottie's perception of her as the perfect, spoiled girl who gets everything she wants. Peggy doesn't NEED the sustenance, doesn't accept it and is willing to let it waste without a second thought. For a girl raised on stale bread rolls tucked under her pillowcase that must feel like a spit in the eye. Fuck I love Dottie Underwood.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[spencerbegins]

someone help Ben and Devi why can't they communicate for shit 'I thought it was a one time thing' like so typical JESUS just hash it out and get married already

LITERALLY i just need someone to lock these 2 in a room until they talk about their fucking feelings!!!!!

i will say it feels SOOOO in-character for devi to let herself be vulnerable with ben and then immediately panic and (even accidentally) sabotage what they could have. we see it in 1x05 when she nukes him and in season 2 when she cheats on him . season 3 has been the most emotionally mature devi's been, and her relationships show this; after the breakup with paxton, she doesn't really have any conflicts other than the whole des + rhyah situation, which she wasn't even at fault for!! but then in the s3 finale she lets herself be vulnerable again, lets herself go after ben because she knows she wants him, and. well. i think that must have been pretty damn scary for her in retrospect. so she flees! she effectively nukes what could have been yet again, this time not out of anger but out of fear, and likely ghosts him for the remainder of the summer (assuming based on the trailer - im guessing they havent spoken since The Boinkening, so the 1st day of senior year is the first time she sees him since then) so of course ben thinks it was a one-time thing; she bounced as fast as she could after they *ahem* finished, he hasn't heard from her in months despite living in the same city, and, well, yeah, hes in love with her, but as far as he can tell, she doesn't feel the same. so he goes after the pretty girl that does want him, and devi retaliates by going after the pretty guy that wants her, and, well, i'm betting they dont get their shit together until after ben gets suckerpunched in new york lmfao.

i'm SOOOO ready for like....petty pining from both sides up until they finally do talk shit out!!! theyre going to be even more insufferable now that they're not totally oblivious & its going to be SOOOOO good

[starbuck]

need to find the mimetic blood contagion post again… one moment…

[kirathehyrulian]

🔮Witch!Sam Bingo🔮 🚘🐺Friday Drive🐺🚘

(Please do not edit/alter. Feel free to reblog, but please do not repost. At the very least please give me credit.)

Square Filled: wolf!familiar Event: @witchsambingo​

For more art from me please check out my “myart” tag here on Tumblr. 👇(Art Notes and sketch below the cut) 👇  

Art Notes: I finally finished my first square for the Witch!Sam Bingo!🙌 I’ve been trying to do that for a year now, but I couldn’t settle on an idea for any of the squares. Finally, last month I had sketched out this on cardstock paper, thinking I should try again at another traditional ink and marker drawing:

And I like where this sketch was heading. I was like what’s not to love with mixing classical spn with witch!Sam elements? But, I knew I should just take it over to digital instead of risking me screwing up the inking process with traditional mediums. So I took a picture of it and traced, adjusted, and fixed stuff in Sai. But, it took me so long to get it all done because I kept procrastinating with it. I was just, for some reason, struggling to work on it. Eventually, when I got to the end of the shading and all of the lighting stages I mainly just slapped it all down just to get it done. I wanted to be finished. It’s been hard to art lately. I can get spurts of art in every once in a while but it is not reliable.

The background was an image of a cornfield I found on google that I took to Ps elements 15 to motion blur and change the coloration, lighting, and shading. I really could not be bothered to do a hand drawn background here. And tbh, I don’t think it would have turned out as well if I did. I’m actually pretty happy with how the background turned out.

I probably should have Gaussian blurred Dean but, I didn’t want to take the time. The me right now is satisfied enough with it.

References that I used for Sam and Dean: For Sam’s face I referenced a flipped 7x06. Sam and Dean’s outfits/body’s and inside of Baby I referred to both 1x02 and 1x05 where Sam and Dean are in the car. For the wolf I referenced two google images of an orange-ish wolf that I thought looked pretty. (One that was just a side profile of the head. The other a full body side profile)

I have no idea how to approach the other eight squares, but I’m hopeful that I’ll get some ideas eventually. It’s a lucky thing for me that the bingo decided to drop the deadline. Otherwise none of this would have happened.

But, for now I can at least cross one off the grid.

I didn’t really listen to anything specific for this....well I did keep relistening/rewatching electricmonk’s vid for a little bit towards the end so that kind of counts. Too gorgeous of a vid not to rec anyways.

And, I think that’s it. Enjoy, if you can!♥♥♥

[iredreamer]

random thoughts about Gentleman Jack 2x01

Marian sewing Anne’s button on her cuff was poetic cinema and this is why:

I love seeing people take care of clothes in period dramas, it’s historically accurate and makes the characters more human and real.

They used the visuals of mending and then cutting the thread as a metaphor for Anne’s relationship with Ann Walker and Mariana Lawton – I love love LOVE how we see Marian sewing the button on while she and Anne talk about Ann Walker, and then when they start talking about Mariana we see Marian finally cutting the thread, freeing Anne from staying still while she finished the work but also metaphorically freeing her from Mariana’s hold. Just fucking loved it. I feel like this scene is telling us what is gonna happen between these three women: Ann Walker is the one who’ll put the pieces back together when Anne breaks down later on in the series, while Mariana, well... bye bye M-

I loved all the shots of the rings – yes, give it to me, show me they’re married every chance we get, thank you very much I appreciate it a lot. Keep telling me their marriage is at the center of the show like that, love it, a dream come true. Also hands, you know?

“Don’t you ever tell my aunt anything about me, ever again!” – I don’t know if I have deep thoughts about this I just loved it in a completely irrational way. I love this side of Ann Walker. I love how we can see at different moments in the episode how she stands up for herself, how she contrasts Anne Lister if necessary, how she negotiates things and agrees to them only when she’s actually sure about them.

I am IN LOVE with Ann Walker’s caring touches – What can I say? Ann Walker has grown so much from last season and we can already see that in this first episode. The “It breaks my heart when you’re angry” she says to Anne was so moving – just think about Ann Walker last season: when she was upset she used to get it all out without really thinking about how it would make Anne feel (1x04 & 1x05) – in this first episode we still see a bit of that but she’s already become more thoughtful and considerate in the way she shares what she feels. I absolutely love how she can read right through Anne and immediately understand what she needs – she shows her warmth and love with caring touches and it is a beautiful love language we’re starting to see.

Ann Walker literally owns my entire life, she was probably my favorite thing of the whole episode. (also rings, again, love it)

Mariana looking into the camera pissed me off but it was genius – let’s be real for a sec, at first I didn’t like this one bit, like no-no, didn’t like it at all, I actually screamed at the end of the episode BUT but after a couple of rewatches I now believe it is almost a genius choice to have Mariana break the 4th wall here, and this is why. I already went through what breaking the 4th wall means in Gentleman Jack – we know why Anne does it and we know that other characters can do it (i.e. Marian) – now, Mariana Lawton looks at us at the end of the episode because she’s taking control of the narrative, it’s a power move – that look shows us that she’s ready to do all necessary to get Anne back and start trouble. It’s a challenging look. In her mind she is Anne Lister’s wife, she is her woman, she is the “co-protagonist” if you will – not Ann Walker – that’s why she’s looking at us. And for me it also shows us that Anne is not as much in control of the whole thing as she likes to think.

The Ann(e)s married dynamic sends me into the stratosphere – I love their new dynamic. I love the happiness on both their faces when they’re together and I love how they are already operating as a team – “First and foremost, we must respect ourselves, and each other, and what we want.” – I love how they communicate, how they talk about what needs to be done, why and how. My favourite bit was probably the calm conversation they had in Anne’s bedroom towards the end of the episode. It’s them against the world and they know it. 

Now on a more frivolous and light note...the fact that you could tell they wanted to jump each other bones in every scene is what I’m here for. I mean, we knew Ann Walker was thirsty af but good lord Miss Lister is hungry just as much – here look at Anne checking Ann Walker out and rolling her tongue while doing it.

Just wanna end this saying that I’m here for Anne realising she’s in love with Ann, oh yes!

[aeide-thea]

[cw hella negative witcher netflix s2 discussion]

so i finally finished s2 and uh. that sure was a hot mess

like. character development (role as sandpiper, mountain-esque sad solemnity that you really feel for and respect) for jaskier? why stick with it when we can just punt him right back to laughable, dismissable comic relief in the last couple eps! relatedly: why the fuck does geralt say he ‘needs jaskier’s help’ when. literally jaskier provides none help. why does yen go wake him up in ep 8 so he can... make juvenile wisecracks about her potion-making. genuinely he is wholly extraneous here and it sucks both in terms of ‘using the character well’ and in terms of ‘constructing the characters’ interactions/motivations in a way that makes any watsonian sense whatsoever.’

literally why has geralt changed on a dime wrt his feelings abt ciri/destiny. like. they wholly fail to show them bonding in any meaningful way (he just keeps trying to protect her in ways she resents and failing to explain anything to her or connect with her??). and then he says to yennefer in ep 7(?) that he embraced fatherhood in large part because of her. how so. expand on that even a little maybe. also. again. show me literally anything rather than just making belated declarations about it without any palpable feeling behind them. anyway i guess i ship geralt x istredd now bc that sure was the only interpersonal dynamic that felt like it might plausibly have evolved from s1 geralt. (also if geralt’s such a big father now why is he not more visibly outraged by nivellen the rapist. i know he doesn’t do visible emotions but he HAS in fact historically done ‘visible/articulated fury/outrage at sexual violence against women’. gimme ‘betrayer moon’!geralt back.)

wanted to like yennefer’s arc a lot more but unfortunately ‘mage burnt out after overuse of power, has to wait for it to seep back in’ is like. an extremely overdone trope actually?? like. obviously she’s going to get it back eventually, also if i was supposed to feel Big Surprise and Angst abt her betraying ciri (and by extension geralt) then maybe you shouldn’t have established in 1x05 that she’s perfectly willing to do violence to people beyond what’s sympathetic in service of her own ends?? and like. yeah, sure, character growth at sodden or whatever, but like, obviously they don’t care abt sticking with character growth when instead they can revert characters back to their silliest/most selfish beginnings.

between the mascara and the petulance i really just. cannot for the life of me get past ciri-as-dalton-girl (or as @/quailfang said, a CW character). it’s just. not a type that excites me, i’m sorry.

also like. ik everyone was really excited abt p*ul bulli*n pre-s2 and like. nothing against the actor but hoo boy did they make lambert a dick and not in a way i can get behind even a little bit.

small positive: i did think fringilla and cahir’s arcs were interesting! but like. is that really enough to carry a season on.

anyway like. will presumably continue to read some witcher fic, if people do some serious, thoughtful work turning this season into something that actually hangs together and is compelling in any way, but. would not call myself a fan at this point! more like: ‘still unfortunately vestigially invested but pissed the fuck off about it.’ like WHAT a lurching slipshod piece of writing.

[bloom-agreste-cheng]

Winx Club Secret of the Lost Kingdom

@cyithrel I watched that movie again because I was feeling nostalgic so I wanna share some thoughts with y’all about this movie.

I forgot just old this movie was. The animation was not my favorite but it worked. The movie was beautiful and it was fun seeing my girls in 3-D once again.

Bloom’s story was not finished even at the end of season 3. So it makes sense to have the movie wrap up Bloom’s journey.

Why tf have never heard about Hagen until now? It would have been nice to be introduced to every member of the company of light in season 3.

I will openly say this, I don’t like Enchantix, Shining So Bright. I don’t get the thrill of the Enchantix transformation like I did with the other song. It’s a shame they lost the rights to the old song (at least that’s what I heard). If you love it, good for you. I just don’t get the powerful fairy vibe from that song.

I forgot just how strong these girls have become as full fledged fairies, capable of taking down an entire army of robots in 2 minutes, like Musa said. I watched it French so I’m not sure if that was the right quote in English. Anyways, c’était un travaille de Winx(that’s what I call Winx work).

Weirdly enough, I related to Bloom to watching her friends graduate and reach full harmony with the Magic Dimension and their powers. It’s like looking in from the outside, seeing everyone around you succeeding in life while your journey is not even over. I ended up thinking we’re all probably thinking like that. Sometimes, we are Bloom looking at her friends graduate, sometimes we are the friend graduating and finding our purposes in life.

Bloom’s earth world has become too small for her now. Weirdly enough, I understand that. Once you’ve gotten a taste of a whole other life and you’ve grown into that other life, it’s difficult to come back. Once you’ve learned that you’re a fairy, a fairy is what you’ll become and the non-magic Earth world is no longer enough for you.

Watching the girls in action back on Domino, made me think of just how far they’ve come. I thought of Bruce Truckman’s Stages of group development: forming, storming, norming, performing and adjourning. Remember when they first got together and Bloom lied about who she was because she wanted to fit in at Alfea (forming)? Tecna once yelled at Bloom for giving away Stella’s ring in 1x05 when Stella was in trouble or when Layla/Aisha cried because Stella forgot to include her in the group hype-up speech when they were learning convergence (storming). Soon the girls started norming the fact they were in a group and began performing as they did for years at Alfea. They adjourned when they graduated but now they’re back and they’re performing once again. I’m just so proud of them.

Seeing pictures of the royal family of Domino... just UwU. Daphne and Baby Bloom? Precious...

I love Enchantix, I feel so proud of them while they did their convergence. Just have to say, Musa’s magic looks strange: blue sound waves that look super effective? I thought she’d do something more creative like she usually does.

We never got to see the girls’ biggest fears in the show. It was cool to see them in action. Stella being scared of going invisible is such a teen fear 😂 Also it looked like Prof. Avalon was part of the Battle vision in Bloom’s section of that scene.

Bloom is all alone. 😢 Riven’s story arc ending with him deciding to fight for Musa and her love. So proud of him.

Daphne and Bloom working together. Hell yeah. Dragon Fire sisters fighting side by side and defeating the evil their parents tried to eliminate years ago.

I am a sucker for family reunions. Oritel, Marion, Daphne and Bloom, the royal family of Domino is restored.

The final ball. The girls are so beautiful. Bloom is finally a princess with a kingdom. The girls even have their enchantix hair on in honour of the quest they started and achieved. Musa’s hair with the pigtails and that cascade of black down her back was lovely (wished her enchantix hair was like that). Even Tecna elongated her hair for the occasion.

Bloom’s chapter in the book of the royal family of domino is written and the Winx are presented as the new Company of Light. Did I mention how the prophecy of the return of Domino involved six magical companions? Bloom and her friends have been part of that prophecy and they were destined to meet at Alfea from the beginning until now.

I pick this as the true ending to Winx Club and Bloom’s story. The rest of what happened afterwards does not make sense to me although I do like Bloomix and the believix chapter was an insteresting look into the adult lives of the girls and loved bringing Daphne to life (although I understand why people don’t like it). That’s just my personal opinion along with the rest of this post.

[daantaat]

twu s2 thoughts even though nobody asked <3 just a brain dump and it’s quite long so I tried to separate my commentary by categories but it’s still a mess unfortunately. Spoilers under the cut!

General

Overall, I enjoyed season 1 more than season 2. I’ve watched season 2 three times now, and I do think it had some good parts that I definitely overlooked during my first watch (probably because I was preoccupied with Charlotte x Shona 😶😅). My initial reaction to this season was like ‘hmm so that happened and I’m not sure what to think’ but then I rewatched it and tbh I think my complaints are mostly to do with the time jump between seasons and the pacing...

Like yeah there’s only so much to touch on in six 25-minute episodes but!!! I finished the season wanting a bit more, because I thought that some of the things that were introduced were either not explained fully/well or they just dropped off completely and didn’t really have an effect other than me asking questions after the season was over, like it felt as though there were missing scenes— more on that later (though maybe they will be addressed in season 3??? If there is one? How soon do shows get renewed? Idk). Though I guess the audience does have to do some interpretation of their own but still... Idk! Idk. And the assumption that certain events/plot points mentioned in a character’s dialogue would be enough for context had me kinda “:///” y’know? Like don’t tell me, show me?? I’d like the full course please!!

Charlotte x Shona (+ Vish I guess)

I think it was really jarring to see their relationship grow from colleague/business partners to friends and then finally to something more in season 1 only to see them awkwardly handle their unresolved feelings in the workplace with nothing to show for their actual relationship besides a mention of “a week-long gay safari” + the brief flashes of a sex scene that was intermingled with Shona and Vish’s cyber sex session, which in itself is 😐😐😐 like yes it shows that Shona still thinks about/fancies Charlotte in some capacity, but if I were to choose between that sex fantasy/flashback or a flashback of Charlotte and Shona together (like Charlotte telling Shona she was falling for her!!!!)... I think I’d choose the latter? I was just disappointed that we didn’t really get to see Charlotte and Shona being all cute and romantic with each other this season :(

ALSO I wished we got to see more of jealous!Shona; I was super hyped to see that since that scene was included in the trailer. It was nice to see her want the best for Charlotte because she’s “great” but the jealousy part of knowing Charlotte is dating someone great got settled pretty quickly and instead we got Shona evaluating her commitment to Vish and considering the idea of having kids after learning she has a womb of a 39-year-old (😐) and it felt.... like a lot!! It was definitely different from season 1 Shona (”I actually don’t want kids” “I genuinely, I genuinely don’t, you know, it’s not a big deal. Just never have” in 1x04) but if this was to show her dealing with comphet or internalized homophobia or just simply running away from her feelings then... idk what to think of it! I really don’t. I think this is where things could have been written differently because using an affair with Charlotte like that (an affair that we didn’t even get to see besides the stolen kisses at the finance event) was so... ugh, I’m suffering here

Anyway, I think their office scenes were definitely highlights of the season, like Indira and Sharon really gave those scenes their all!! Even though it hurts to see Charlotte so heartbroken and Shona running away from her feelings and hurting Charlotte in the process, I live for the angst lol. I will say though, the 180 that happened after their convo outside Charlotte’s office was a bit “🤔” considering Charlotte had talked to her therapist about Shona for 4 months. Like one hungover feeling dump from Shona and they can move on? Hmm communication is connection, huh. And I guess they were just excited that the article got good results? But how cute that they got each other gifts of their picture in the article??? Wtffff I love my “unfunny and obvious” gal pals even though I’m in pain

As for the voice note... omg, so many questions. Like did Charlotte try to reach out to Shona after she abruptly ended their call to check if she sent the voice note to Vish?? Was that gonna be the first time Charlotte heard Shona say “I love you” to her? What was the reason Shona said “I love you” anyway??? Is she, you know 👀 Also do y’all think Vish will listen to the entire voice note since it was clear it was meant for Charlotte? And who knows maybe Vish’s phone died and he can’t turn it back on or check his WhatsApp or whatever. I’m in denial lmao. But also I think he's a pretty good guy, like when he sent biscuits over to the house when Shona wanted some and him saying what’s the point of having fun in New York when she's not there with him... :/ but he was also a bit weird about her putting a nail in a wall or leaving out the egg duck or whatever as a display item in their house though I suppose that’s not a huge problem so like idk man idk!!! I'm just saying season 3 better not have a time jump I need to see what happens and not just in exposition

Shona and Aine

Love them :) I wish they had more scenes together (if that's possible??) but I liked the somewhat change in dynamic seeing Aine a bit worried about Shona (asking her if she’s okay when she mentions she’s thinking of getting a fringe lmao and again asking if she’s okay when they’re unpacking in Vish’s house). And of course Shona is still very protective and worrisome but seeing Aine just miserably lounging around her apartment over the weekend and getting in her bike accident after Shona wasn’t too supportive of her and James’s business idea made me so sad :( like Shona was so shitty about her not typing up everything in the notes for the meeting! And not even reading James's CV... big yikes. Anyway I thought it was odd that we didn’t get a follow up on the voice note Aine left Shona after getting into the bike accident... like she sounded soooo shaky and out of it :((( what luck Shona was sick and didn’t see Aine with a missing tooth before she got it fixed

Anyhow, Aine was right when she said Shona needs to talk to her and talk about her feelings more!! AND this is part of where my complaint about the pacing and the missing scenes comes into play! I think we should have seen Aine and Shona fighting about Shona’s affair and leaving Vish the voice note. The audience knows Aine cares about Vish and I’m not entirely sure where her relationship with Charlotte stands since Charlotte told Freddie about her being in rehab (on the assumption that he knew, as Aine’s ex-boyfriend) but!!! Just cutting to them on the floor waiting for Vish’s flight to land was not as hard hitting as it could have been

Aine x Bradley (+ Richard)

OKAYYY. Cute!!! I definitely overlooked the signs during my first watch here but yeah they were definitely there during my rewatch(es)!! I quite liked seeing Bradley try to get Aine to stop talking negatively about herself and just try to treat herself better in general like exercising and actually eating off of a plate :’) and the comparisons between Bradley and Richard have me like 👀📝 Bradley saying he likes how much Aine talks vs. Richard’s friend Mark saying she talks a lot and how he wasn’t expecting a whole show to which Richard replies he thought that at first too but she “calms down” like brooo... alright. Anyway Bradley going with her to Tom’s funeral/service made sense since he actually met Tom (though Aine did vaguely talk about him and his drinking problem to Richard in 1x05) and the fact that she told Bradley about PACT and her time there but she didn’t tell Richard (to be fair she was thinking about telling him) hmm 👀 Also Bradley saying “Sometimes it would just be nice to be with someone you could just relax with as yourself” yeah I’m on board with them

Loneliness, COVID, Communication is Connection

Initially I thought these themes could have come across a little stronger but after rewatching... hmm. Yes, Shona was lonely in the house by herself; she even asked Anil to stay for dinner, had her own “pile of shit” boyfriend on her bed (which she did clear off), and told Vish that nobody had time for her. Also after the business meeting she asked Aine what she was doing during the weekend (which Aine also spent alone anyway), but I dunno... oh yeah her hen/bachelorette party was a bit lonely since places were starting to go into lockdown and not everybody could attend, but I think the COVID element entered a bit too late into this season? I’m not sure it really added much in terms of the loneliness. Maybe it did add to the uncertainty of things though

“Communication is Connection” was there but I thought it kind of fell flat as well, but maybe that was the intention— to highlight the mess that a lack of communication can cause? Shona apparently writing off Charlotte’s feelings and them not necessarily talking about their relationship/feelings until their convo outside Charlotte’s office... Shona talking to Seema saying she’s never really asked what Vish wanted (regarding kids) and Seema saying that’s a convo for her and Vish to have... Aine not telling Richard she overheard him and Mark talking about her... Richard not consulting Aine about telling Etienne about them and just getting a new tutor for him... hmm. What does it mean. What does it all mean

Other stuff I’m still thinking about/have questions about

Shona mentioning it’s “annoying” how Aine talks like she’s the only person to ever get sad in episode 1 but still telling Aine she’s fine and then in episode 6 Shona saying she only has two emotions or whatever so she doesn’t need to talk to Aine about her feelings as much -____- istg we need to get Shona to talk to a therapist in season 3!!!

I also liked that Shona, Aine, and Eileen talked more. I’m still a little disappointed that the fact Eileen leaving Shona for three months when she was a baby was not mentioned at all. Yeah it was a secret but when Eileen said “well, you should never lie. You’ll always get caught out.” I— HELLO? If anything, that secret seeing daylight could have had something to do with Shona's sadness + loneliness this season. Also could you imagine that becoming a fear of Shona’s, like what if she doesn’t want kids because she’s afraid of doing the same thing to hers if she has any??

Jim asking Charlotte if she’s straight and Shona immediately going “what does that have to do with anything” or something like that and apologizing to Charlotte after Jim left— I’m not sure how I should have read that??? Did Shona mention to Jim that Charlotte is a lesbian?? When he started to ask, he was still looking at Shona (yeah I’m reading too much into this I know)

Marcia figuring out that Aine and Richard were seeing each other (after he touched her hand on his way out to get a taxi)— what was the purpose? Other than Marcia obviously feeling bad for Etienne, whom I assume she sees as a son of her own (based on the Mom Instinct™ snooping when she was doing housekeeping + her convo with Aine when he came back from France). She didn’t talk to either Aine or Richard about it, just told Aine to have a good time when they were leaving the house to go to their “separate” events. I guess it wasn't her place to say anything, but hm. Speaking of Etienne, it was obvious he had a schoolboy crush on Aine (or at least he was vying for her attention) in season 1 and it’s really too bad we didn’t get to see his reaction to suddenly getting a new tutor or dealing with Aine and Richard’s relationship other than him looking at them hugging while the new tutor was teaching him. He deserved some more screen time this season :(

Hmm so that was all very incoherent but if you made it this far thank youuu <3 here are some last silly comments:

Absolutely loved Julie!! I want to know what she knows about Charlotte and Shona 👀 girl give me the scoop on the last 4 months at the office

Super sad we didn’t get to see Charlotte’s cat (I’m always gonna be vocal about this 🗣🗣🗣) or know who her new girlfriend was but at the very least we were introduced to one of the most important side characters of all: Charlotte’s stompy boots <33333 she really wore those around the office with a blazer/blouse/leather skirt! We love that lesbian attire

[anextraordinarymuse]

My thoughts on Red and Liz so far

I’m going to put this under a read more, because I haven’t been part of this fandom long but I have already discovered that these two are divisive for a lot of people.

If you are dead set that this is a father/daughter relationship, this probably isn’t the post for you.

Okay, so I just finished Season 3 Episode 5, Arioch Cane, and I have Thoughts and Feelings™ about ... well, so many things. This is going to get long, so buckle up and I’m sorry in advance. 

Up to this point, I absolutely do not understand the choices the writers, actors, and producers made if they did not want the Red/Liz relationship to be read as romantic. Because they have made deliberate choices that lead you right down that path and it’s driving me crazy, so here is an incomplete list of those things. 

The end of 1x05: Red is sitting in the library and tells his helper guy that he’s investing in the future, and then his guy says “your future is arriving now” - enter Liz, and the whole time the song that’s playing is Wicked Game. GTFO with this - seriously? I will grant that it’s a remix of the song (it’s by Emika, and it’s beautiful and worth a listen), but it is still a romantic song that they chose to have playing for the entirety of Red and Liz’s interaction in that library. Music is a deliberate choice that is made in post production (it’s added after the scenes have been shot). Maybe you should have picked a different one.

The NUMEROUS and pointless references to Liz being his girlfriend. They start as early as 1x02, and this drives me nuts. This is a common and well-known trope across tv shows and movies (any story medium, really, including books) to hint at romantic relationships/feelings early in the story. It sets up the eventual hookup or love reveal that comes later. And it’s all over in terms of Red and Liz, and it’s never corrected except once in 1x02 when Red tells Liz she can pose as his girlfriend from Ann Arbor and she says “absolutely not.” It’s never refuted again, not even by Liz. Ressler asks her in a later episode if she and Red are having a lover’s quarrel and she doesn’t answer; Ressler asks Red if he’s in the doghouse (a term that is only used between romantic partners) and he doesn’t answer; Madeline Pratt comments on the age difference with “isn’t she a little young for you?” (a jab at the May/September trope and at Red); Luther Braxton taunts Red over the phone and says “your girlfriend, the princess”. I could keep going because these instances keep happening, and there is absolutely no reason to keep putting these lines in if TPTB had no intention of presenting a romantic angle/possibility for this relationship. That is a DELIBERATE choice the writers made.

This brings me to my next point: Red is never the one to explain away the romantic/sexual tension/looks/hints/undercurrents. Other people do, Liz does, etc. but it never comes from him. Many examples are listed above, but two very prominent ones that come to mind are in early season 3: the first time Red sees Liz with her blonde hair he is speechless. He just laughs and does that nervous tongue flick tic (say that three times fast) of his, twice, and then gives that dry laugh. That moment is just like every reveal I can think of where the female lead comes out looking hot as hell and the man is speechless. Red can’t fucking string a sentence together - he stops mid-sentence and can barely swallow. Seriously? Seriously writers/powers that be? Get. The. Fuck. Outta. Here. It’s Liz that says something about her mother being blonde and thus looking like her, and Red ignores that too. He doesn’t agree or explain away his reaction at all. There is no explanation or redirect or anything of the sort. The other glaring example that comes to mind is when Red tries to tell Lizzy what he sees when he looks at her and physically can’t get the words out. He just stops mid-sentence, again, and takes a drink instead. When he does finally tell her he can’t even manage to look at her. And I could scream for absolute years into the void about “when I look at you, that’s what I see. I see my way home.” Oh, and the song choice again here? It’s “our house” by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young and has the line “play your love songs all night long for me, only me,” which you can hear during the scene. I mean, just ... just fuck off writers.

Also, for several weeks while they’re on the run, Red and Liz are hunkered down on a theater stage ... that is staged as a house. They’re literally playing house. *sigh* I hate it here

And now we get to episode 3x05, Arioch Cane. I could write an entire paper on this episode. Maybe I will at some point. Anyway, everything about this episode. Everything about the last, like, 20 minutes of this episode. Solomon calls Liz Red’s girlfriend (and we’re back to this) and not only does no one correct him, he then goes on to give us this: “What is it with you two, anyways? That’s what everyone wants to know. Some say it’s a daddy-daughter thing. Others swear it’s a May/September. I prefer to believe it’s a little of both.” .......... yeah. Right on the nose there, writers. No one will ever convince me that line wasn’t a statement directly from the writers to the audience that yes, the romantic subtext and tension and whatever is there. You’re not crazy, audience, we put that shit there and we did it on purpose. You want to read it as daddy-daughter? Fair and valid. You want to read it as romantic? Also totally fair and valid because we put that shit in there. There’s more I could say about this episode, but honestly at this point my brain is just done.

All of this to say that, up to the point of 3x05, I would argue that Red does not see Lizzy in a familial light. I am less sure about Liz and how she sees Red (for many reasons), but I think it has been established that the writers purposely laid a foundation for the romantic route. I personally fall on that side so far, and I think it would make for such interesting storytelling if they go the May/September route. So many intricate, nuanced roads to explore with that option!

TL; DR: Maybe they don’t go that way later on for whatever reason - and I’m sure as I get farther into the show I will have more on those points - but in the early seasons they purposely left it open to interpretation. The romantic imagery, subtext, tension, etc. is all there, no matter what they decide to do in later seasons. 

Thanks for coming to my TEDtalk. 

[gremlinbehaviour]

15b with Leon and Lancelot? -gwen-cheers-me-up

"I don't think you should be alone right now"

This one turned out VERY angsty. It's set in the same AU as a couple other fics I've done, where Lancelot was knighted after 1x05 but faced a lot of bullying from the other knights. Here, there's allusions to a little bit more than bullying.

"I'll be okay, Leon," Lance tried to reassure his protector. This statement was slightly undercut by the way he limped across the room to his bed. Not to mention his general appearance. The black eye and cut face did not exactly inspire confidence in his ability to look after himself, nor did his rigid posture and movements. Despite his best efforts to hide it, it wasn't hard to see that the short walk from Gaius's chambers to his own had been hard, and taken a lot out of him. "You don't need to watch me every moment," he continued as he sank carefully down to his bed.

"Respectfully, Lancelot, I'm not so sure of that," Leon countered as he closed and dead bolted the knight's door behind him. Finding a chair against the wall, he dragged it over in front of the door before sitting down in it. Despite the uncomfortable way the pommel of his sword dug into his side, he didn't remove his weapon's belt. He had always been a cautious man by nature and now not knowing who to trust out of even the knights he commanded was pushing him over into the downright anxious category. But was it really paranoia if Lancelot was actually in danger? He'd been on edge the entire time he'd been escorting the injured knight back to his chambers, and the fear had barely lessened now that they were there. "The ones that did this may come back for more, to finish the job, and I am not leaving you to them. And honestly, I'm not convinced that you're as okay as you say you are." Lancelot looked up for half a second at that, but then quickly away after making eye contact. Leon took this as an admission of the truth of this. His heart broke all over again, and if he'd thought Lance would want him to, he would have gone over to hug him immediately.

As it was, he kept himself firmly seated in the chair. He had a bad feeling standing up to approach his friend may just earn him a scared and/or pained flinch. He wouldn't blame him if it did, given what had happened. If Leon had been imprisoned and tortured by other knights of Camelot, men who were supposed to be his brothers in arms and have his back through the thick and thin, he would have trust issues too.

"I understand if you don't trust any other knights after this," he added. "Even me. I mean, with what they did to you, and just because you were born a commoner-"

"Please, stop talking about it," Lancelot whispered. His left eye, the one that hadn't already been swollen shut, was squeezed tightly closed, head bowed forward, and arms pulled in as he tried to make himself smaller. "And don't… Leon, you're the only knight left that I do trust. I don't know where I would be right now without you."

Leon himself had a terrifyingly good idea of where Lancelot would be; either still in the dungeons or dead. The knight, who had been stripped of his cloak and armor and left half naked on the stone floor as part of the "initiation ritual," would have succumbed to the cold after not much longer. The numerous kicks delivered to his arms, legs, and abdomen, and even a few to his face, hadn't helped. They'd weakened and pained him enough that he wouldn't have been able to fight back or escape, even if he'd tried to. Lancelot wouldn't have, though. Until the end, when Leon and Merlin had finally found him after almost three days, he'd thought it was part of a process all knights went through to prove their strength and endurance. He wouldn't have fought back against the hazing ritual, as that would have been seen as cowardice and weakness. And Lancelot was always so desperate to prove himself, since he had been born as a commoner and many within the castle thought he should have remained one instead of being re-elevated to knight 

A choked noise pulled Leon out of his furious reverie of planning revenge if they ever caught the knights that had initiated the stunt or any of the other bullying. He looked up to see Lancelot crying, one hand covering his mouth as if to quiet himself. Still he fought not to show any weakness in front of others

"It's okay," Leon tried to reassure him. "You're safe now."

"I know, 'cause you're here," he mumbled, moving both hands up to clench in his hair as he pulled his legs onto the bed and up to his chest. "It's not that. I've just… I've never been betrayed before. I never had friends close enough to do so."

Leon felt anger bloom renewed in his chest, though it had barely faded since the last atrocity. How much work had it taken Lancelot to make friends? Only for all that to be ripped away, and worse, because how would he ever learn to trust anyone now?

"I'm so sorry Lancelot," Leon said, though words could never be enough. "Is there anything I can do?"

"D-don't leave," the knight begged. He nodded, and stood up. Lancelot tensed until he came closer instead of walking away towards the door. Very carefully, mindful of the bruises that peppered the knight's entire body, he wrapped his arms around him. He let Lance control the hug so he would feel comfortable, waiting until the contact was leaned into to tighten his hold ever so slightly. "I don't know why everyone always leaves me."

"It's not your fault," Leon said with conviction. He took his friend's face in his hands so he could look in his eyes and

make sure he was understood. "Do you hear me? This or any other abandonment or betrayal you have suffered is not due to any failure of yours or anything you did." He pressed his forehead against the other man's, closing his eyes and hoping to will his love over. "You do not deserve to be alone. You are a good, brave man, Lancelot. I am proud to call you my friend and I will not leave you." Lance wrapped his own arms back around his friend, pulling him closer to press his face into his shoulder as he cried. Holding him until his tears had dried and not once letting go, Leon knew he had been right to insist on staying. Lancelot shouldn't be alone right now, or ever.

[izzisanauthor]

Siren Song

A Prodigal Son fanfic by IzzIsAnAuthor (izzygrace07)

Based during episode 1x05 - "The Trip"

-------------

"Why is everyone moving in slow motion?"

Malcolm says it casually as if an altered passage of time is an everyday occurrence, and Gil's eyebrows furrow with concern. He should have known that Malcolm would go against orders and talk to Estime early. It shouldn't have even been a surprise when he found his two younger team members at the club he specifically told them not to go to; when a case gets personal, either will rarely stand down.

Gil takes a step closer to Malcolm, placing a protective hand on his shoulder and leaning in to speak. "You okay, Bright?"

He watches as Malcolm's eyes widen, a quick array of emotions crossing his face that range from terror to overwhelming happiness. His usually kempt hair is messily tossed, reminiscent of the bed head that Gil has grown a deep adoration for. He doesn't often get to see Malcolm this way. After all, Jessica would never let him leave his apartment looking anything less than the nines.

Malcolm's hand lands on Gil's shoulder with purpose, his grip strong and secure. His lip is quivering as he says, "When my dad was arrested…" He stops, seemingly to calm down his emotional state. He gulps before continuing. "You showed what a good man looks like. What a good man is."

The hand on Gil's shoulder lands gently on his cheek, cradling his face while Malcolm stares lovingly. It's intimate enough for Gil to falter his breathing, the air getting caught in his throat. Usually, these interactions are had behind closed doors and drawn blinds, hidden from the rest of the world. Nobody, not even their families, has any idea what kind of love the two men share, one that goes further than anyone would expect. If this had been any other time, Gil would remove Malcolm's hand and continue to reprimand him for disobeying direct orders. However, the dilation of Malcolm's pupils and the specks of white powder clinging to his suit tell him that doing so right now would have absolutely no merit.

Gil glances over to Dani and his eyebrows raise. "He's high as a kite."

Malcolm seems shocked by the accusation, but it fades into giddy instantly. A bright, beaming smile crosses Malcolm's face and the corners of his eyes crinkle as he laughs, "I'm higher than a kite!"

Gil lightly grasps Malcolm's wrist and pulls the hand off his cheek. The moment he does, the kid's eyes visibly line with tears and for a moment, Gil worries that he's about to break down. Luckily, Malcolm remedies that sadness by grabbing onto the sleeve of Gil's jacket with his free hand, an impish smile on his face.

"Come on, let's go home!" the consultant exclaims with newfound energy, tugging at the sleeve. "I feel like I could go thirty rounds!"

Gil blanches. His eyes immediately dart to Dani, who is watching them with worry. She opens her mouth to speak, lips stretched into an awkward smile of sorts, only to close it again. She doesn't have to say anything; the pity is clear as day on her face.

Gil clears his throat. "What happened?"

"Gunfire!" Malcolm articulates. "I got on the ground with Dani, it started to snow, and now, I feel like I could run a marathon!" He gasps, grabbing Gil's shoulders and leaning in close. In a half-whisper, as if he's had some kind of grand realization, he says, "I could be a top."

Gil pulls away from Malcolm, praying that his face keeps its usual colour. His worry for Malcolm overshadows most of his other thoughts and worries, but in the deep, selfish parts of himself, he wants to take Malcolm with this sudden energy he's gained. Not eating much and having little sleep results in poor stamina, so when the two decide to get intimate, they'll rarely go for very long. Now, however, seeing his boyfriend dripping with desire is enough to make his heart pound and his blood rush to areas he would prefer to keep under control in public. Gil chastises himself internally for feeling even remotely excited while Malcolm is in this state.

Dani lets out a sharp exhale. "Cocaine use can lead to poor judgment and increased sexuality. He probably doesn't realize that what he's saying is wrong."

Malcolm looks offended at the comment, turning to Dani with lowered eyebrows. "That's not nice, Dani. I can have sex with a man if I want to. Because…" He turns back to Gil and throws his arms around him, nuzzling into the crook of his neck. "Sex is amazing. And Gil is amazing!"

He raises his head and stares at Gil, expression changing into something more serious. He grabs both sides of Gil's head this time, forcing their gaze to stay locked on each other. In a voice as gentle as a lamb, Malcolm puts his entire heart into speaking.

"You're amazing."

They're two simple words, but the look in Malcolm's eyes amplifies the meaning. They hold so much affection and passion and pride, absolute love. Gil's restraint is being put to the test, a gruelling effort. It only becomes more difficult when Malcolm hugs him again, only this time, Gil is hyper-aware of the half-hardness pressing against his thigh.

He looks up to Dani and sighs, pushing down his dangerous thoughts and returning his focus to the more important situation. "We'll talk about this tomorrow," he says, ignoring the sweet nothings Malcolm mumbles into his ear. "You're not off the hook, Powell. I'm taking him home to make sure he comes down from his high."

Dani nods. "You've got it, Gil."

He turns his head towards the broken window, destroyed amidst the shooting. "Go help JT look for anything that could help us figure out who started the shooting. Message me with any leads."

"I'm on it." She is quick to head towards the scene, evidently remorseful for what happened to Malcolm, needing a way to atone.

Gil lets out a heavy breath, patting Malcolm on the back. "Okay, Bright. Come on, we're going home."

Malcolm pulls away quicker than lightning, his face lit up with childish joy. "Finally!" He smiles devilishly. "I have flavoured condoms."

"And we'll use them on a different day, once you've sobered up," Gil whispers, grabbing Malcolm's wrist and rushing him through the club. The night air is cool and crisp, a complete contrast to the warm, soiled air in the building. He helps Malcolm sit in the passenger seat before heading to the driver's side and starting his car.

~+~+~+~+~+~

When they arrive at Malcolm's apartment, the younger man practically marches through the door like he's on a mission, pulling his coat off with vigour. Gil, with a small sigh, closes the door as he follows him in.

"All right," Gil says, pulling off his jacket. He watches Malcolm discard his expensive article at the bottom of the staircase and gives a disapproving shake of his head. "The best thing you can do for the seven hours or so, just stay calm and drink lots of water."

Malcolm looks towards his living area and he perks up, inhaling with excitement as he takes off towards the coach. "Or!" He leaps up onto the back of his sofa, taking a moment to balance himself, and thrusts his hands out towards his collection of murder weapons. "We throw axes!"

Gil pauses, eyebrows shooting up as his eyes widen incredulously at Malcolm. "What?"

Malcolm turns to face Gil, pointing at him excitedly. "You and me. Broad bladed axes." He steps down onto the leather cushion of his couch, as if walking on a couch is a completely normal thing to do, and holds up a hand with his fingers splayed. "I have five!" He stops. "No, six… Doesn't matter, we have plenty."

Gil approaches the island and pours himself a glass of scotch. It's going to be a long night. "No," he says sternly.

He hears the sound of Malcolm shutting something and speaking, voice pitched and full of animation. "God, this feeling! My neurons are on fire!"

Gil takes a long sip from his drink, letting out a heavy exhale through his nose. For someone with poor self-care skills, sleeping and eating especially, Malcolm has a lot of energy. It's like the cocaine boosted the effects of his second wind. It reminds Gil of Dani years back when he would watch over her, drugged and falling. At the start, she was off the walls and full of childlike joy. But, as time passed and she became reliant on it, she was paranoid and terrified, either backing away from Gil with tears in her eyes or holding onto him like he was her saving grace. The memories only fuel his concerns for Malcolm after tonight; the thought of him in such a dark place, especially with the trauma he's experienced, makes Gil's chest tighten with anxiety.

When he looks up, Malcolm is heading his way on quick feet. He has that look in his eyes, the one from the club, the one that showed nothing but absolute love. "You know," Malcolm says, "people say that dopamine triggers pleasure. But really, it's about…"

He is suddenly in Gil's space, arms wrapped loosely around his neck and only an inch of space left between them. Gil doesn't want to encourage Malcolm's drug-induced lust, but still instinctively puts his hands on Malcolm's hips, pulling him closer.

"...Desire," Malcolm finally finishes. Gil's heart skips a beat at their proximity. The intent behind the word is obvious, and the sultry tone Malcolm entangles into his voice makes the temptation harder to resist. He's like a siren, singing out to Gil with his entire being. The song muddles his mind, clouding his judgment in fog and starving him, desperate for the taste of Malcolm.

Within seconds, Gil has Malcolm pushed up against the island and their lips are crashing together hard enough to leave bruises. It's passionate and messy and their hands wander across the familiar territory of each others' bodies. Gil runs his hand through Malcolm's hair and grips tightly, releasing a moan from the young man's mouth. It only increases volume when Gil bites down on Malcolm's lower lip, drawing it between his teeth. He grabs at his boyfriend's tie with impatience and practically rips it from his neck, moving to undo the waistcoat and the button-down shirt.

Gil lifts Malcolm onto the surface of the island and stands between his legs. The bare chest before Gil is free to be marked, previous love bites and hickeys having healed over the past few days. He takes Malcolm's skin into his mouth, sucking mercilessly along the collarbone. Malcolm props his hands upon the island behind him and throws his head back with a gasp. The noises he makes send blood rushing down Gil's body and strengthens the desire to hear more of those sexy sounds.

Gil licks his thumbs before dragging them along Malcolm's nipples, feeling the skin perk up underneath his touch. With a strong buck of the hips, the tip of Malcolm's restrained erection pokes Gil in his stomach.

Somehow, against all odds, that physical touch is enough to snap Gil back to himself, regaining his previous hyper-awareness to Malcolm's arousal; most importantly, to the cause of it. The events of the club make their way back to the front of Gil's brain and within moments, the two men are apart. Both are coated in sweat and panting like animals, and Malcolm's face is flushed a brilliant red.

"What's wrong?" he asks gently between breaths, sitting up and putting his hands worriedly on Gil's still-clothed arms.

Gil feels guilt flood his system and chastises himself. He let his wants overshadow his morality, so much so that he nearly had sex with his inebriated boyfriend. It would have been–it is sexual assault. Knowing Malcolm, he probably wouldn't be mad at Gil; the young man understands that he can be annoyingly persistent even when sober. However, that doesn't cut it because Gil would never be able to forgive himself for taking advantage of the best man he's ever come to know.

With laboured breaths, Gil finally says, "We can't do this, Bright."

Malcolm seems completely oblivious to the problem, furrowing his eyebrows with bewilderment. He pulls his hands away and Gil can see the self-consciousness making its way into Malcolm's head. "What happened? Did I do something?"

Gil sighs. He holds out his hand, helping Malcolm down from the counter. He then wraps his arms lovingly around him in a protective hug. "No, kid. You didn't do anything." He pulls away and takes Malcolm's head in his hands, forcing their eyes to lock. "But I can't have sex with you like this. You're not in your right mind."

"B-But…"

"Hey." Gil pushes some stray hair away from Malcolm's face. "If our situations were reversed, you'd say the same thing to me."

Malcolm appears to take a moment to think about that idea, blinking slowly like a machine that's processing information. For a split second, it makes Gil wonder if that was enough to get through to the kid or if his words were falling on deaf ears. Fear begins to creep into the back of his mind as he imagines Malcolm begging to continue, dripping with sex appeal, and Gil is too weak to turn him away. He's seen the pain Malcolm has been through, the betrayal he's been forced to endure. Gil can't become another one of the demons; he's supposed to be an angel.

He's brought back into the moment with a gentle kiss on the cheek. Arms wrap tightly around Gil's torso and Malcolm speaks to him with pure appreciation. "Aww, thank you!"

Gil's heart flutters with love and admiration. He brushes back Malcolm's bangs and plants a kiss on the kid's forehead. He wants to thank Malcolm for being so understanding, for recognizing just how heartbroken Gil would feel if they had made it further than they did. Gil wants to tell Malcolm that he is the most empathetic man Gil has ever met. He makes sadists have mercy, and for that, Gil loves Malcolm with every fibre of his being.

He says nothing, knowing that Malcolm wouldn't remember any of this. Instead, he returns the embrace and holds his boyfriend closer, thanking God for the favourable outcome to the situation.

[percilout]

Why I think Jaskier is queer-coded and also bi/pan: An Essay

Earlier today I made a post [x] asking for opinions on Jaskier being queer-coded and now I’m presenting you my 1.5k word long essay on why I think that’s the case and why I also think that Jaskier is bi/pan (even though the character most definitely wasn’t planned that way).

I used lots of gifsets and Tumblr posts as inspiration and sources and humbly thank everyone who has made my life much easier with those.

Okay, so, let me start this off by saying that the showrunners don‘t and most probably won‘t want to make Jaskier queer in any way. But there‘s a bit of a problem there because there‘s a good chance that the actor (Joey Batey) is going to go against that with his personal choices in acting the character out.

It doesn‘t help that there‘s an interview in which he actively goes against calling Jaskier a womaniser and says that he is just „falling in love with everyone“ as soon as he sees „them“, he spots „someone“ and is obsessed with „whoever“ is in front of him. You can see it in this post (https://heydrichmuller.tumblr.com/post/189946596054/my-brother-played-the-pronoun-game-wound-up) in which what the actor does is called „playing the pronoun game“. That‘s what lots of queer people do when talking about their love life/sexuality/partners/etc. I say it doesn‘t help because it actively paints the character he‘s playing as bi/pan, especially with the „he just loves everyone“ comment.

 Then there‘s another thing, now something that we can see in the show - movement.

Queer-coding hugely depends on clichés, I know that, but that doesn‘t mean that those clichés aren‘t true sometimes. So when I look at Jaskier‘s movements and he‘s moving his hands a certain way, cocking his hips and holding his hands there, cocking his head, I can‘t help seeing a queer person there. (https://gayregis.tumblr.com/post/189807338329/its-all-about-the-hand-gestures-joey-batey-as)

 That also brings me to the next point:

He‘s a Drama Queen. He gasps! And argues! And cannot believe the way he’s treated! He deserves better!

Now, one could say that He‘s a bard! That‘s what he does! It‘s to entertain people! But. Jaskier doesn‘t entertain people when he‘s being a drama queen. Instead, he‘s greatly annoying them with it and, at the most, only entertaining himself. This is mostly visible in the „You need a nap!“ scene, which also shows his exaggerated movements pretty well. (https://captainpoe.tumblr.com/post/189836119464/the-witcher-1x05-bottled-appetites)

 Then there are some other scenes that (to any queer person, I‘d say) just scream „this can‘t be straight, can it?“, simply bc it‘d be So Fucking Weird if it‘s actually meant to be straight...

One of those is the bathtub scene. Like, what, it‘s normal to rub your friend-not-friend‘s „lovely bottom“ with camomile? In what world??? And there‘s no reason Jaskier needs to do any of that, Geralt could have just bathed himself. (https://mrcavill.tumblr.com/post/189812738178)

From that we can go on to another part of the bathtub scene: „And yet, here we are“ (https://catness-tchalla.tumblr.com/post/his-189817475480), implying that Jaskier wants/needs Geralt.

 Jaskier‘s basically running after a fruitless friendship for over 10 years. He‘s showing real perseverance in befriending someone, while also employing excuses to do so (using the fact of being a bard and /having/ to sing about him/sharing his legacy as an excuse to stick close to him for so long). And he does try to have a kind of intimacy with a man who‘s generally seen as someone who‘s intimidating and driving everyone away. (https://thewitchersdaily.tumblr.com/post/189937577863/no-lord-in-his-right-mind-will-come-close-if)

Still, Jaskier‘s desperate to have his company and wants to continue travelling together to prove that he can be a good partner. (https://meldvnsk.tumblr.com/post/189961512351/me-when-i-see-how-desperately-jaskier-want-to-be)

 I do also want to make a point about Jaskier‘s outfits, although most of it can really be condensed into Well, He Is A Bard, So.

But I just want to state that there is no reason for him to still dress so extravagantly when he‘s just walking through the woods for days and weeks with Geralt. At first he has no other choice but, with the years, surely he can learn to have something more.... practical.... in his bag with him? But no, he chooses to keep his style and always look out of place. And, well, queer people are kinda known for the special care they take of their clothing (https://meldvnsk.tumblr.com/post/189960250906/jaskiers-outfits)

 Then I want to shine some light on the way Jaskier talks about him on their first day of meeting: https://thewitchersdaily.tumblr.com/post/189776322313/same-geralt-of-rivia-and-jaskier-in-the-witcher and https://skywalkrluke.tumblr.com/post/189956240667/the-witcher-2019. He is basically trying to please this, well, Manly Man™, with his (very awkward) compliments, akin to another scene we know - the „sexy goose“ fiasco, in which Jaskier totally fails in Flirting 101. (https://thewitcherdaily.tumblr.com/post/189811062630/the-witcher-1x06-rare-species)

 In episode 6, there‘s a scene that a lot of queer people can identify with (or at least I think so and I actually do). Jaskier is trying to comfort Geralt in a way, but also himself. He suggests leaving together, to „get away for a while“, to run away from all their problems while still sharing each other’s company. And what hits the most is the bard saying that No, he is not thinking about a new song right now, this is just about them, this is just about him trying to figure out what he himself wants. (https://skyvalker.tumblr.com/post/189947455079/the-witcher-2019-s01e06-rare-species)

 And now we come to the point where I can seriously not think anything else but „Oh boy, that guy is love with another man“: Her Sweet Kiss (https://youtu.be/NyZvWBFbIRw).

First off, the song is a reaction to Geralt‘s rejection of him and states how hurt he is by that rejection (https://captnswilson.tumblr.com/post/189886399796/if-life-could-give-me-one-blessing-it-would-be-to).

But I will go into a bit more detail, starting with the changes in the song that happened between the first time we hear it (start of episode 6) and the time we finally hear the finished song at the end of the episode.

 Firstly, „I‘m weak, love“ changed to „I‘m weak, my love“, underlining with the use of the possessive pronoun that whoever is the „I“ sings about their personal loved one.

Secondly, there‘s the line „garroter, jury and judge“.

We know that Geralt is the mentioned garroter (remember Marilka saying Geralt sounds like garroter in the first ep?). Now, what does it say that Jaskier is debating whether to use „gorgeous garroter“ or „lovely garroter“ in the song and then ends up using neither? My take on this is that the finished song focuses more on the pain he experiences than being a hymn on the heroic actions of the handsome Witcher. The idea of a gorgeous garroter has actually become, as Jaskier calls it, „too cerebral“.

 I‘ve talked quite a bit about the song now without having explained what I think it actually means, so let‘s come to that.

Her Sweet Kiss has three sets of personal pronouns - I, you, and she. I believe that those stand for Jaskier, Geralt and Yennefer respectively. Going with this choice of characters, it‘s fairly easy to see what the lyrics want to tell us.

In the first verse, Jaskier is basically just complaining about Yennefer. He paints her as the evil one, the one causing him heartache and pain.

I do not think that this verse, as I have read quite often, is written from Geralt‘s perspective. It doesn‘t make much sense regarding the use of pronouns and the meaning of the verse.

Why would Geralt complain about her and then call her his love? Why would he talk about her (using „she“ and „her“) and then switch to talking to her („Tell me, love“)?

It makes much more sense to say that this is Jaskier talking about „her“ (Yennefer) to his „love“ (Geralt), especially when one thinks about the line „How is that just?“.

 That last line of the verse shows Jaskier criticising Geralt‘s actions. It directly accuses him of being unjust towards Jaskier, something that was previously unheard of because the Witcher always does the thing that does the world justice. But in this case, the bard was left hurt by him without a good reason.

 When it comes to the chorus, there is nothing much to interpret. The lyrics plainly state that Geralt‘s relationship with Yennefer is destroying something. Looking at the context of Geralt and Yennefer „breaking up“, followed by Geralt forcing Jaskier to leave, this must clearly mean the destruction of Geralt‘s and Jaskier‘s friendship.

 The second verse starts with Jaskier warning Geralt of Yennefer, who is depicted as a dangerous current, pulling him closer into her clutches.

The verse then ends with the part we already know from the beginning of the episode.

 „I’m weak my love, and I am wanting

If this is the path I must trudge

I welcome my sentence

Give to you my penance

Garrotter, jury and judge“

 If you think this is Jaskier giving up and leaving Geralt alone after having accompanied him for more than a decade, having finally been judged and sentenced to a life without him by the famous garroter, then yes, we are exactly on the same wavelength there.

  (Of course I don‘t think that that‘s what the producers thought while making it but hey, that‘s exactly where the accidental queer-coding comes in again!

So, anyway, this is exactly why I see Jaskier as bi/pan but of course that‘s only my personal perspective.)

Tagging the people who helped me by making gifsets and sharing their thoughts on Jaskier:

@lola1b @pocketlibrary @heydrichmuller @gayregis @captainpoe @mrcavill @his-catness-tchalla @thewitchersdaily @meldvnsk @skywalkrluke @skyvalker @captnswilson 

[gra-sonas]

Alex Manes - an essay

Alright, my inbox is bursting with asks, and I’ll get to them (tomorrow, it’s almost midnight D: ), but I’ve been thinking about this all day while trying to work (had to get up and angrily pace my flat several times), and I had to write it all down to get it off my chest. (Also, I’m sorry, but once again Tumblr won’t let me add a Read More, after two attempts at creating new posts with a Read More, I’m giving up 🙈)

As viewers, we’ve been introduced to two different versions of Alex.

Alex at 17

wears mostly black

puts on nail polish, eyeliner and jewellery, including a stud earring and a septum piercing

loves skateboarding

plays the guitar

works at the UFO Emporium

his mom, a Native American woman from a New  Mexican tribe left the family when he was younger

has 3 brothers, presumably they’re all older than Alex

Alex at 27/28

a soldier, he’s been in the Air Force for a decade

a decorated purple heart airman with three deployments under his belt

an amputee, he lost part of his right leg in an attack in Iraq, sometimes uses a crutch

a codebreaker who's hacked into Russian and Chinese intelligence

a man who still dips fries into his milkshake

the nail polish, spiky hair, piercings and jewellery are gone

Alex wears fatigues occasionally, his civil clothes are mostly neutral colored shirts/jeans (until The Leather Jacket™ in 1x13)

we don’t know whether he still plays the guitar

his brothers are also all military, Flint (~2 years older than Alex) is a Special Forces Weapons Sergeant with the US Army

Quotes from/about Alex’s youth (incl. Jesse’s abuse)

1x01, Alex: "We're not kids anymore. What I want doesn't matter.“

✧→ 17 year old Alex hoped to escape his father one day, he dreamt of making music. His  hopes were shattered that day in the toolshed, and Alex hasn’t allowed himself to go for what he wants since then - including Michael.

1x02, Alex: “Made me think about... I don't know, who I was when this started. Before I went to war.”

1x05, Kyle: “Do you remember that night your dad made us set up that tent to teach us extreme weather survival?” Alex: “Yeah. Your dad had driven home for the night, so mine concocted a brand-new form of kiddie torture.”

1x05, Alex: “My dad was a homophobic, abusive dick."

1x05: Alex: “The dad I got was a monster. Is a monster.” Kyle: “Because he sent you off to war?” Alex: “My father was my war. And your dad saw it, when we were kids. Do you remember the summer - that we built the tree house?” Kyle: “Yeah.” Alex: “That's the summer that my dad found out I was gay. He knew before I did. He thought he could beat it out of me. Jim tried to intervene. But you can't make someone stop hating someone. And my dad hated me.”

✧→ Alex is talking about his father/childhood matter-of-factly, but the language he’s using to describe his childhood allows a glimpse at the hell he went through: torture (through extreme survival trainings), homophobic abuse, his dad is a monster, sent him to war, for years tried beating the gay out of Alex, Jesse hates him. This is not just a homophobic remark his dad made at the dinner table, this informs us about years of violence and abuse Alex endured at the hands of his father.

1x06, Alex: “Things at my house suck.“

✧→ Many teenagers will probably say this at some point while growing up, this isn’t about Alex being upset about a curfew, or having to do his homework tho. This is as much as Alex will disclose about the ongoing abuse.

1x06: Alex: “Dad, this has nothing to do with you.“ Jesse: “Everything you do... everything. And I will not be humiliated.“

✧→  This is Alex, terrified of what his dad might do. And he knows that Jesse will do something (he’s already picked up the hammer). Alex expects violence, because that’s what his dad has done to him numerous times. 😔

1x07, Mimi: "You look like your dad today." Alex: "Oh, good. I was hoping that the rage face might skip a generation."

1x08, Alex: “I've been looking for leverage my entire life.“

✧→ “My entire life”, a clear indication that having Jesse as a dad’s never been a walk in the park, Alex just got the special ‘anti gay’ treatment as a bonus when he got older.

1x08, Alex: “When I was...- I wanted to make music. You sent me to war.“

✧→ Alex at 17 wanted to make music, and although he never says it, I think it’s implied that he never planned to join the military. Jesse didn’t give him a choice though, he made Alex enlist, probably threatening him with what he’d do to Michael if Alex didn’t do as he was told.

1x08, Alex: "Why are you trying to frame Michael? Haven't you done enough to him?"

1x08, Alex: "Do not talk to me about unprovoked violence!"

1x09, Michael: "And what do you want to say, Alex?” Alex: That I loved you. And I think that you loved me. For a long time.” Michael: “Yeah.” Alex: "But we didn't even know each other that well, did we? I mean, we just, we-we connected, - like something… -“ Michael: “Cosmic.” Alex: "Yeah, but we didn't even do that much talking."

1x10, Alex: "My dad is a bigot with no moral compass."

1x12, Flint (to Alex): "You ever get tired of being the black sheep of the family?"

1x13, Alex: "Look... I shouldn't have left you behind when I enlisted. I could... I could stand here and tell you that I didn't want to leave, but I did. After what my dad did to you, I just, I... I wanted to be the kind of person who won battles. But now I-I look in the mirror, and I-I don't even see myself sometimes. I see my father. I'm still fighting his battles. Not mine."

✧→ It’s kinda implied that Alex never wanted to enlist, but once Jesse forced him to do it, he tried to make the most of it. He wanted to be the kind of person who won battles. He was also looking for leverage, something he could use to take his dad down.

✧→  Alex at 17 wanted to get out, he wanted to make music and live life his way. Since Jesse was going to beat him for being gay anyway, he’d at least wear what he wanted, put on make up, and wear jewellery. Jesse hadn’t manage to break Alex.

✧→ The shed incident changed everything, because someone else got hurt. And from Alex’s POV it was because of Alex. Because he’d been selfish. He’d wanted Michael. And because of that Michael got injured.

Now that we’ve established the basics, onto Carina’s statement.

“Alex was too ashamed of Michael  (not of being gay, which Maria knew, but of michael specifically) to name him to Maria for 10 years - until he saw Maria as a threat.” [x]

✧→ At 17, we saw how much Alex cared about Michael, that he wanted him safe and warm bc nights twere too cold to sleep in the car. That’s why Alex offered Michael to stay in the shed. He liked Michael, and he wanted to spend time with him. He even brought Michael a guitar bc he thought Michael would like to play. None of Alex’s behavior gives any indication that he was ashamed of Michael before the shed incident.

✧→ 17 year old Alex was afraid of his father, no surprise after years of abuse, but he also seemed confident, defiant even, believing he could handle it for a little bit longer until he’d finished high school and would finally be able to leave to make music. Despite living under Jesse’s roof, he dressed in all black, openly wore make up, nail polish, and jewellery/piercings, refusing to be another picture perfect son of his military father. We didn’t see it on screen, but given Jesse’s homophobic views, Alex’s behavior very likely caused his father to punish him in some way for it.

✧→  Then Michael kissed Alex at the UFO Emporium, Alex kissed back, one thing lead to another and they ended up at the shed where they had sex for the first time. It was Michael’s first time with a guy, we don’t know whether it was Alex’s first time tho. Alex still didn’t show any signs of being ashamed of Michael.

They were SO in love and happy in that moment. 🥺

✧→  When Jesse and the hammer happened, and it changed everything. Up until that moment, Alex had been used to his father’s abuse, he’d been strong enough, he’d been convinced he could take it, but this time someone else got badly hurt, and I think that broke something in Alex.

✧→  We never saw how things played out for Alex after Michael left the shed, all we know is that Jesse made Alex enlist. And given Jesse’s preference for blackmailing (he blackmailed Jenna, and Alex asked Flint what Jesse had on him) it’s probably fair to assume that Jesse threatened to go after Michael should Alex not do as he says.

Alex didn’t tell Maria for a decade because he was ashamed of Michael (at 17)?

Say what now???

There are several good reasons why Alex wouldn’t have told her, but shame isn’t one of them... I’m sure Alex thought of Maria as a trustworthy friend back then, but the most important reason why he wouldn’t reveal who ‘museum guy’ was would be the one the straight showrunner of the show’s apparently not aware of:

Alex would’ve outed Michael (without Michael’s consent I’d like to add) to Maria by telling her who it was. As a gay kid in 2008, I’m sure Alex was very well aware of LGBTQ etiquette, and the first rule of queer club is, you don’t out a fellow queer. And guess who’d just experience a brutal attack because he’s queer? Why would Alex ever consider outing Michael and potentially putting him at risk???

The outing reason alone would be enough to explain why Alex never told her who it was. And in 1x10 he didn’t outright out Michael either, Maria realized it was Guerin and Alex reluctantly confirmed (there was no way for him to plausibly deny it).

1x10, Alex: “It is just a standard, run-of-the-mill boy problem. Oh, come on. Don't give me psychic face, Maria.” Maria: “It's the guy from the museum, the one that kissed you into crazy stupid love when we were kids. He's back?” Alex: “Wha... How-how do you do that?” Maria: “You're just... I feel it, you're-you're hopeful, like you were before. Who is he? Come on, spill it. I've been waiting ten years for this. - Come on.” Alex: “You... you wouldn't believe it.” Maria: “It's not like you're hooking up with Wyatt Long or Michael Guerin or something. Geez. Please tell me you're in love with Wyatt Long. Wow.” Alex: “Michael's not so bad after a shower. But you know that.” Maria: “I had no idea...” Alex: “I know. I mean, how would you?” Maria: “It meant nothing, Alex. Seriously, I swear, it was just a drunk, dusty, no-good Texas rounder."

Another reason why Alex wouldn’t necessarily have told Maria: Alex was traumatized by what happened at the shed. This wasn’t just the ‘normal��� kind of abuse he endured on the regular (which is a boatload of trauma all of its own), someone else had been hurt, someone Alex liked, and because Alex liked him. On top of that Jesse likely threatened him. There’s no way Alex wasn’t scared and deeply traumatized. It’s fairly common that victims of abuse don’t tell anyone about it, out of fear even more bad things could happen, there’s surely also a lot of shame and self-blaming involved.

Alex also knew that Michael was homeless, and probably not yet of age. Jesse could’ve threatened Alex to put Michael back into the system or whatnot.

Absolutely NOTHING we’ve seen on screen suggests that Alex was ashamed of Michael when they were 17. Alex joined the military afterwards, and was away for a decade. Not many opportunities to talk about it to Maria, but again, the first reason (outing Michael) is a perfectly valid reason not to tell her for an entire decade. And this being a major trauma, Alex probably didn’t feel like opening that box again after such a long time.

And wow, claiming that Alex waited to tell Maria (which isn’t exactly what happened) because she felt threatened by her? Sure, Alex just waited for the right moment. 🙄

Is Alex ashamed of Michael at 27/28?

In 1x03 it seems like Alex let’s his father’s words get to him. “Seems to me the only one you're embarrassing is yourself, son.“ I’ve always interpreted this as a thinly veiled threat tho, and Alex, on instinct, immediately put distance between himself and Michael. Because before he talked to his father? Alex was perfectly happy to be seen with Michael, if he'd been ashamed, as Carina claims, he wouldn’t have approached Michael in public in the first place.

This is also how I read the scene in 1x02: “What happened at the reunion cannot happen again.“ In the pilot, Jesse had been part of the group of soldiers poking around Michael’s Airstream, and Alex saw the way his father looked at them talking. Then they kissed at the reunion, and I’m sure it felt so good and like coming home, but the fear of what Jesse could do if he found out was back the next morning, and Alex once more tried to put distance between himself and Michael to keep Michael save.

This is not an excuse for Alex pushing Michael away, not an excuse for Alex to call him a criminal either. That is absolutely shitty behavior and not okay. I just don’t buy this ‘Alex is ashamed of Michael’ shtick.

Friendly reminder that Maria did not only tell Alex in 1x10 “It meant nothing, Alex. Seriously, I swear, it was just a drunk, dusty, no-good Texas rounder.", here’s what she said in her next scene with Guerin:

1x10, Maria: “We're closed. - You found my necklace.” Michael: “Clasp broke. I fixed it. I think it calls for a celebration. And by celebration, I mean booze, preferably the free kind.” Maria: “Alex is one of my best friends.” Michael: “Congrats.” Maria: “I never would have slept with you if I knew you two had history. It can't happen again.”

So in 1x10 Maria

learned Michael is 'museum guy’

realized that Alex is in love with Michael (still), and hopeful

swore to Alex it was a one time thing and that it meant nothing

told Michael that Alex is one of her best friends (and you don’t go after your best friends’ love interests)

she would’ve never slept with Michael had she known

she also says it can’t happen again

And yet Carina’s surprised why many few fans don’t understand

what made Maria ignore Liz’s advice to talk to Alex (which would’ve been the fair thing to do, no one’s mad at Maria for catching feelings, it’s that she acted on them without talking to Alex first what upsets and angers people)

why Maria invited Michael to kiss her just 3 episodes later

why she’s still chasing after Michael 2 weeks later without having talked to Alex

she’ll continue to go after Michael but still won’t talk to Alex

and therefore some are having a hard time not to dislike Maria to some degree? Okay...

Either way, imo Alex was definitely not ashamed of Michael at 17, and I don’t see much evidence of him being ashamed of Michael at 27/28.

Apart from that, shame is for sure NOT the reason why Alex never told Maria.

Alright, this got LONG, but it I had to write it all down. I think I provided facts in the form of dialogue quotes. In addition, I’m sharing my interpretation of these facts.

I don’t claim that I’m right, I don’t claim that I know more than Carina (who seems to have forgotten some things she herself wrote tho), none of that. This is my interpretation of what happened, based on what we saw on screen, what’s been said by the characters, and what we know about the different characters involved.

I also don’t claim that Alex didn’t do anything wrong, that he’s a saint, or whatnot. But I strongly disagree with the notion that by not telling Maria Alex is somehow to blame for her going after Michael.

[margoshansons]

Desperate Measures: 5/?

Bellamy Blake x Reader

Summary: A pod drops down to Earth causing tension between Bellamy and Y/N once again.

Warnings: Swearing, slight violence,

Notes: Based on 1x05 “Twilight’s Last Gleaming”

She was shaken awake by Miller and Octavia, her sleeplessness finally catching up to her as the two teens stood above her, smiling like nothing had gone wrong the day before.

“Y/N, get up” Octavia’s voice was too perky for the time of night, too bright. “You have to see this.”

She stirred groggily as Miller nodded in agreement. “Alright, I'm up.”

The two pulled her from her position in bed, dragging her out in the middle of the camp, pointing upward into the night sky. The wind sent bumps spiraling down her bare skin as she stared above her, not even caring about the fact that she was only left in her shirt and underwear. 

A bright streak moved across the sky, until finally collapsing to the ground like the dropship before it. 

“It’s a pod” She whispered to Miller. 

“What do you think’s in it?” He asked, curiosity raging.

“Supplies” Y/N announced, a small smile gathering on her face, “Medicine, arms, perhaps a radio.”

She caught Bellamy’s gaze on her, the events of last night sweeping through her mind. She launched a small smile at the shirtless twenty-three-year-old. She swept her gaze across his bare chest, letting herself admire his physique before training them back on his face. Awe graced his features, but she knew something else lay behind them. Something more concerning. She turned her gaze back upward, the pod reminding her of the shooting stars that her mother used to tell her about. 

The Ark had sent something down to help them, and she was going to find it. She was going to bring her people home. 

“We’re ready to go” Miller entered her tent while she finished stuffing rations and her book into the makeshift pack she had been carrying around for the past few days. 

“Awesome,” She pushed herself through the flap, meeting the determined gaze of Octavia on their way out. “Make sure to keep your flashlights on and weapons drawn, we need to be prepared if we run into any grounders.”

‘Nobody’s going anywhere.” Bellamy’s authoritative voice rang out, causing several delinquents to look at him. Y/N squinted. “At least not until sunrise.”

“That pod was visible to anyone within a 70-mile radius, “ Y/N pointed out, “We need to go now.”

“We’ll go when it’s light” Bellamy grasped her arm, pulling her back, “It’s too dangerous in the dark.”

Y/N scoffed, narrowing her eyes, “You think the grounders are going to wait until sunrise? We need to go now.” 

Octavia and Miller moved to follow before Y/N stopped her best friend. “I need you to stay here Miller, we need someone with combat experience to guard the rest of the campers.”

Miller scoffed at the weak excuse, “Like hell, you need someone with quick hands if the grounders get a hold on any of the other supplies.”

Y/N pushed her hand on his chest, stopping him. “I promised your dad I’d keep you safe.” She finally admitted, catching the look of frustration he sent her, “That’s what I’m doing.”

He chuckled mirthlessly. “My dad sent me down here with the rest of them, you wanna obey that asshole? Go ahead. “ Miller turned around, storming to the fire blazing in the middle of the camp. Y/N shut her eyes as she sighed. Why was everything so hard down here?

Why couldn’t he understand that she was trying to protect him?

She turned back toward Octavia, pushing the moment in the back of her mind. She creased her eyebrows as she saw a familiar head of curls missing from her side. “Where’s Bellamy?”

Octavia shrugged, throwing some rations into her mouth, “said he was going for a hunt, the hypocritical dick.”

Y/N knew what he was going for. He wore his emotions on his sleeve, and right now he was concerned about being found out. She grasped a freshly sharpened knife from the pile and stalked after him.

It was fairly easy to pinpoint where the asshole was going, he was terrible at covering his tracks, and the rustling of the bushes didn’t help his cause much at all. She raced after him, the sun rising as she caught up just in time to see him snatch the radio from the Ark pod. 

“Oh no, you don’t.” Y/N muttered, torn between following the bastard and finding out who was in the pod. 

The answer to her choice came in the form of Clarke and Finn approaching minutes later. 

“Hey, guys!” She called from the treeline. Clarke spun around, a grateful smile written on her face as the other girl approached. 

“Have you seen Bellamy at all?” Clarke asked, concern lacing her voice. 

Y/N nodded, setting her jaw, “Yeah, He got here just before I did, stole the radio. I got here a few minutes before you showed up.”

“That means he can’t be far,” Finn suggested, determination working its way across his face. She nodded and Y/N caught the blush on Clarke’s face before the two of them pried open the pod door, gazing in awe at the groggy girl in a spacesuit. Y/N knew her immediately.

Raven Reyes had made it to the ground.

“Hi,” She replied, “I-uh, I made it?”

Y/N nodded her head, glad some good news had come from this day after all. Their meeting was cut short as Raven informed them of the news Y/N had almost been floated for.

They were going to cull 320 people from the Ark to conserve oxygen.

Without a second thought, she went racing into the woods where Bellamy had disappeared, running into him a few miles away from the ship.

“Hey Sparky” He spoke condescendingly, “just going for a walk in the woods.”

“Cut the crap Blake,” She snapped, pulling him by the arm to face her, “Where’s the radio?”

Silence enveloped the two of them as tension radiated from the unspoken conversation the two were having. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he quipped, still feeling nothing for his actions. She punched him in the face, sending him reeling. He stumbled back and she took this moment to push him against the tree, a freshly sharpened knife pressed against his throat, drawing the crimson liquid from his veins. 

“I’m going to ask you one more time” Y/N spoke darkly, watching Bellamy’s eyes widen in fear, “Where’s. The. Radio.”

Clarke froze as she watched the exchange between the two. “Y/N, what are you doing?”

“Getting information.” She replied, refusing to look away from the man who had doomed them all. ‘Now I’m asking again. Tell me where the radio is or three hundred people are going to die on your watch.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

Y/N bit her cheek in annoyance, “They sent us to Earth to see if it’s survivable. If they find out it isn’t they are going to cut off the oxygen supply of three hundred and twenty people aboard the Ark. And you can bet it won’t be council members.”

Bellamy’s face fell as guilt began to creep across his face. His actions had consequences, looks like he was starting to realize that.

“It’ll be your people. My people.” She barked, “The working class, and if you don’t tell me where that radio is I won’t be able to save them, Blake.”

Raven stepped forward, “Wait, Bellamy Blake?” She asked, a vicious smirk crossing her face, “They’re looking everywhere for you.”

Bellamy’s eyes turned murderous, ready to launch at Raven if he wasn’t already bleeding onto the silver knife still pressed against his throat.

“Why?” Clarke asked, pressing the issue further.

“He shot Chancellor Jaha.”

A tense silence fell over the group of teens as they watched, for the first time, Bellamy be exposed. 

His plans. 

His motive.

Taking the wristbands off. 

Stealing the radio. 

He didn’t want anyone to find out his crime. He didn’t want to be floated. 

It all made sense.

“Well, looks like the king has secrets after all.” Y/N murmured before stepping back, finally releasing him from the grip of her knife.

“Jaha deserved to die,” Bellamy justified, trying to gain some of his breath back. 

Y/N rolled her eyes at the pitiful defense. That didn’t excuse what he did. That didn’t excuse his selfishness.

She was just starting to like him too.

“Yeah, he wasn’t my favorite person either” Raven jumped in, “But he’s not dead.”

Bellamy’s eyes grew wide at the revelation. “What?”

She shrugged nonchalantly, “you’re a lousy shot”

“Bellamy,” Clarke began to plead, “do you see what this means? You’re not a killer. You can still save those people. Just give us the radio”

Bellamy swallowed. Y/N scoffed, her deathly stare refusing to leave him. 

“It’s too late” was all he said. 

***

Bellamy stared at the river before him, guilt spreading through his body like a virus. He was going to be responsible for the deaths of hundreds. All because he was a coward. 

He massaged his throat, staring intently at Y/N as she searched the water. 

His stomach dropped as he recalled the rage and disappointment that fueled her break down earlier. All pointed at him. 

The two locked eyes before she frowned and turned away. 

“I found it!” Jones called. 

Bellamy was pulled out of his stupor as he watched Y/N accept the radio in her arms, meeting the rest of them onshore. They waited for her verdict.

“It’s useless” she murmured in frustration, “it’ll take half a day to dry out the components at least”

Raven stared at the girl in surprise. Y/N shoved the radio in his chest, the dripping device reminding him of his failure. 

“Enjoy your freedom, Blake.” She snarled callously, pushing past him, retreating back toward the camp. 

“Franco wait!” He called after her, following the seething girl, trying to find the right words to make up for his mistake, “I’m sorry.”

She whirled on him, eyes blazing, fists clenched, “You think that makes up for what you’ve done?”

Bellamy shook his head, guilt wracking his chest as he tried to explain his actions to her, “No, but what did you expect me to do? I had no choice”

“Bullshit” she shot at him, “There’s always another choice” echoing Clarke’s words at him, “You think we would’ve let them take you? You think we wouldn’t fight for you?”

He was speechless, her ferocity stunning him as he scrambled to find the right words to say. His mouth opened and shut and Y/N shook her head and left him alone in the trees. 

***

The flares went boom as they streaked across the sky, Y/N closed her eyes and sent up a prayer, hoping the Ark would receive their message. They needed to see it. They had to. 

She couldn’t let anyone else die. Not when she could save them. Not when there was another way.

“Can you wish on this kind of shooting star?” Clarke asked, although Y/N wasn’t sure who she was speaking to. 

“I wouldn’t even know what to wish for,” Bellamy confessed, gaze dropping to the ground. She huffed, refusing to meet his gaze, still angry at him for ruining the radio.

He moved forward, stepping in next to Y/N, who refused to take her eyes off of the purple missiles in the sky. 

“What about you? What would you wish for?” He tentatively asked, eyes flickering to her profile. 

Her eyes met his, the pleading look causing the anger to shrink away, “Some peace and quiet” her mouth twitched playfully and the two eased into a comfortable silence as the flares streaked above them. 

This is a shorter chapter and one of my least favorites, but here it is!

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Once Upon a Time 1x20 “The Stranger” Review

Reviews 1x01 1x02 1x03 1x04 1x05 1x06 1x07 1x08 1x09 1x10 1x11 1x12 1x13 1x14 1x15 1x16 1x17 1x18 1x19

We have finally found out who August is! He is Pinocchio! And also the 7-year-old boy that ‘found’ Emma on the side of the road when she was just a baby! Who also abandoned her later on. I don’t know about you, but I’m not a huge August fan. Technically, he’s only back to get Emma to break the curse because he knows he’s a huge screw up and he doesn’t want to turn back into wood. If the wood thing wasn’t happening would he even be there to help her? Would he even care? But onto the review.

Summary: August takes Emma to the place she was found as a baby to get her to see the bigger picture in her fight against Regina and makes some startling revelations to Emma. In the EF we see that two people could go through the enchanted wardrobe and Geppetto negotiates with the Blue Fairy that Pinocchio be the one to go.

Opening: Jiminy Cricket

Character Observations: 

August/Pinocchio: So if the viewers haven’t ascertained who August was back in the EF, this first scene pretty much tells you. August, the writer, has just finished installing a new lock on Mary Margaret and Emma’s apartment door. August claims he learned how to build locks in woodshop. Ok then.  They discuss Emma fighting for custody of Henry until Henry walkie-talkies a code red.  August follows Emma and tells her she needs to look at the big picture to beat Regina and wants to take her somewhere. August wants her to take a leap of faith. She says Henry needs her, she doesn’t have time for faith. August looks like he doesn’t know what to do next. Next we see August fondling the hat we’ve seen Pinocchio wear in flashbacks, in case you still weren’t sure. He calls Gold and says they need to talk. Pretty bold way to talk to someone who had a knife to your throat a few days ago. His leg starts hurting again and now we finally see why. His leg has started turning into wood!! August goes to Gold’s shop where Marco is looking at a cuckoo clock Gold wants fixed. August’s face when looking at Marco is so full of angst and guilt. Some great acting here from Eion Bailey. If Gold wasn’t sure who August was before, August’s face and stuttering when seeing Marco definitely clinches it. Gold wants to know why August isn’t getting Emma to believe since he seems to be under a time crunch with his ‘dying’ and all. August says she’s too busy trying to fight for Henry and will be coming to Gold for legal advice. Gold says he’ll steer her toward August. August says he’ll get Emma there, trust him. Gold finds that very funny knowing who August is, but he’ll give her a nudge in the right direction. Emma comes to August so he can show her the big picture. They take his motorcycle outside of Storybrooke to learn August’s story. They go to a diner. Emma is pissed because she recognizes it as the diner she was brought to when she was found as a baby. August explains he was the boy that found her. They walk toward the tree they came through. Emma is arguing that she was found near the highway, not a magic tree. He says he had to lie about where he found her. Tells her about her baby blanket and that he’s Pinocchio. She figures out he added the story to Henry’s book. August says he needs her to know the truth. Everything will end once she believes. Emma, predictably, runs off, but, of course, that’s when August’s wooden leg starts giving him pain. He’s upset because he failed with her. He tells her it doesn’t matter if she believes or not because it’s still real. He’s sick. He was in Phuket when Emma decided to stay in Storybrooke and he woke up to a shooting pain in his leg at exactly 8:15 pm Storybrooke time. August shows Emma his leg, she only sees a leg, she doesn’t see that it’s turned into wood. He tells her she is in denial. He tells her everyone needs her. Emma doesn’t want that responsibility.  August says that doesn’t change the truth. Emma says they’re all screwed then. August goes to visit Marco who is having trouble fixing the clock Gold gave him to fix. August gives him the same advice he once had given him. They have a heart to heart where Marco basically tells him that he did his best, he made a mistake and he tried to fix it, and if he had a son that would be enough for him. August offers to be his assistant.

Pinocchio: We all know the story of Pinocchio. A wooden puppet brought to life who learns a series of life lessons because he can’t listen to his father. He has a nose that grows when he lies. And eventually he saves his father when he gets eaten by a whale and for that bravery, he is granted the wish of becoming a real boy by the Blue Fairy, the latter part we see here in this episode. The Blue Fairy says he must be brave, truthful, and unselfish, and as long as he does so, he will stay a real boy. Way to put pressure on a 7-year-old. I know very few kids that age that are brave, truthful, and unselfish. That’s something they have to learn and grow into. Not basically threaten them that they won’t be real anymore. Geez! Next we see Pinocchio helping Geppetto fix a cuckoo clock and when it opens, Jiminy Cricket tied up inside. Geppetto reminds him about what the Blue Fairy said. And speaking of the Blue Fairy, she arrives to let Geppetto know that the curse is coming and about the enchanted tree. They all go see it and the Blue Fairy lets them know it will protect two people. What? Geppetto wants Pinocchio to go through with a pregnant Snow. We see Pinocchio in the War Council sanding his wooden whale, then we see the curse coming. The Blue Fairy tells them that Snow’s baby came early so Pinocchio can’t go through anymore. Pinocchio wants to tell Snow that two can go through so she and the baby can go over together. Geppetto makes him get in the wardrobe and tells him to watch over the princess. Pinocchio tells Geppetto he told him not to lie. He says sometimes you have to lie to protect people. He tells Pinocchio to be the baby’s protector. Pinocchio doesn’t want to leave. Geppetto makes him promise to get the princess to believe and closes the wardrobe door. Pinocchio blasts out of a tree in the Land without Magic. He freaks out when he sees a plane flying overhead. He’s then knocked out by a rainbow shockwave and baby Emma is now in the tree. We see that he and Emma were put into a foster home. Pinocchio is trying to be helpful by fixing Emma’s crib, but the foster father yells at him and threatens him about touching his tools. Another kid has stolen some money and wants Pinocchio to runaway with him and the other kids. He hesitates because of Emma, but ends up leaving. Ok, that is a lot of pressure to put on a kid. I’m sorry. I don’t blame Pinocchio for leaving Emma. He has no idea what kind of life she’ll have, but he’s seven. And he hasn’t even been a real boy for that long. He didn’t even want to leave his father in the first place.

Geppetto/Marco: We see the ending of the Pinocchio story that we know. Geppetto has just been rescued by Pinocchio from the whale and the whale isn’t happy and they end up washed up on shore. Geppetto wishes he could save Pinocchio and the Blue Fairy appears and grants his wish by turning Pinocchio into a real boy for being so brave. Now it’s time for the curse. The Blue Fairy comes to Geppetto before the Charmings to ask him about building the wardrobe. She tells him that two people can go through it, obviously pregnant Snow and Charming, but Geppetto is afraid Pinocchio will be turned back into wood when the curse hits. The Blue Fairy says she doesn’t know what will happen. Geppetto says he wants Pinocchio to take the second spot and that Snow can raise the baby without her husband. Jiminy argues with him about this, but he says that after what he did to his parents his debt can never be fulfilled to him, and to butt out. The Blue Fairy agrees to his terms. I don’t understand Geppetto’s negotiation tactics. The curse is coming, and he is asked to build a wardrobe out of a magical tree to whisk the Charmings away to a land without magic, so their baby can eventually break the curse. Geppetto is worried that Pinocchio will get turned back into wood when the curse comes, so he negotiates with the Blue Fairy that he won’t build it unless Pinocchio gets to go through the wardrobe as well. But if he doesn’t build the wardrobe, Pinocchio will still get turned into wood. Then we see the War Council scene and looks like Geppetto is being asked for the first time from the Blue Fairy to build a wardrobe, but now we know better. We go to the curse coming. The Blue Fairy tells Geppetto that Snow gave birth to the baby early and has to go in the wardrobe with her. Geppetto says they made a deal. The Blue Fairy doesn’t want to argue. She has other things to do and tasks Geppetto with telling Snow the truth about how many the wardrobe can hold. Seriously? Geppetto tells Pinocchio to get in the wardrobe and tells him he needs to protect the baby and makes him promise to get her to believe. I get that Geppetto was scared for Pinocchio, but what parent in their right mind sends their 7-year-old off with a newborn? A 7-year-old who has the worst track record when it comes to responsibility? Worst plan ever.

We don’t really see much of Marco. Gold wants him to fix a cuckoo clock for him, but it’s really just a ploy to see August’s reaction to him since he suspects August in Pinocchio. Then August goes and has a talk with him, in which Marco says he would forgive a son for whatever it is August did since he did try and fix his mistake. 

Emma: She is in full mama bear mode. Mary Margaret asks Emma if she’s sure she is ready to be a mother. Emma says yes. Then they are interrupted by Henry calling a Code Red for Operation Cobra over the walkie-talkie. She meets him at Granny’s. Henry noticed there is new, unfinished story in the book. It’s Pinocchio. Emma goes to Gold and asks him to help her take Henry away from Regina. He won’t help her. They can’t prove any of the accusations Emma has against her and he knows how to pick his battles. She goes to August so he can show her the big picture. They go off on August’s motorcycle and leave Storybrooke. They go to a roadside diner and Emma is pissed. She thinks August is screwing with her because it’s the diner she was brought to when she was discovered as a baby. August tells her it’s his story too. He’s the 7-year-old who found her. Not what Emma was expecting. August brings her into the woods. He tells her he is showing her where she was found. She says it couldn’t be him because she was found on the side of the highway. He asks her if it ever occurred to her that the boy lied about where he found her. She says it occurs to her that he’s been lying to her about everything and she’s done listening to him. He says he knows about her baby blanket. That gets her to listen. He reminds her about Henry’s book and how she came into this world, that they both came to this world through the tree. He tells her he’s Pinocchio. She says that explains all the lying. Emma realizes August added the story to the book. He needed her to know the truth. She thinks he’s crazy; why didn’t he write the ending. He says the ending is her believing. Emma has had enough. She runs off, but August’s leg starts hurting him. She wants to know what’s wrong with his leg. He says he failed, tells her the story of Phuket, and shows her his wooden leg. Emma still thinks Henry’s curse talk is pure fantasy, so she doesn’t see a wooden leg, she sees a normal leg. Just like when Graham thought he didn’t have a heart Emma could hear a heartbeat. August tells her she needs to believe, everyone needs her to believe. Emma doesn’t want that responsibility. August throws out that she didn’t want Henry either and now she’s fighting for him. She says that’s all she can handle. And if everyone is relying on her then they’re all screwed. Back in Storybrooke, Emma wakes up Henry over the walkie-talkie. He gets in her car and she tells him to buckle up because they’re leaving town! Honestly, by this point, I’d think Emma might start believing. Henry’s been trying to get her to believe, she was kidnapped by Jefferson who talked about believing, and now August. Can she really think that all these people are just crazy?

Blue Fairy: Um, she put the most insane restrictions on a puppet turned boy that had done nothing but be bad up to this point. She made a bullshit deal with Geppetto to get the magical tree turned into a wardrobe. She then lied to Snow and Charming about how many people could go through the wardrobe. Then she left when she knew Geppetto wasn’t going to abandon having Pinocchio go through that wardrobe. So far the Blue Fairy hasn’t done anything to make me like her. She just makes bad decisions and choices all the time.

Regina: She talks to Mary Margaret at school because Henry has forgotten his lunch. Mary Margaret calmly informs her that Henry is with his mother. Regina wants to know if something is wrong. Mary Margaret says that someone went to an awful lot of trouble to set her up. Regina reminds her that was Sidney. Mary Margaret says she knows it wasn’t, but she forgives her anyway. Why is Regina acting like she didn’t tell Mary Margaret she knew she was innocent but she was going to pay for what she did anyway? Henry arrives and Regina tells him she thinks he should transfer to another class. He wants to know if it’s because she tried to frame Mary Margaret. Regina actually looks hurt that Henry could believe that of her. He says of course he believes it, she’s the Evil Queen. She says she’s lucky she doesn’t get Mary Margaret fired for giving him the story book. Um, on what grounds? If she’s been reinstated after false murder charges, I doubt anything Regina says will get her fired otherwise. Henry yells about Snow White and Prince Charming getting their happy ending and ending the curse. We next see Regina trying to fix her car. The engine won’t start. David just happens to be leaving work. He offers to take her and her car full of groceries (since when does 2 bags constitute a car full) home. She invites him in for dinner. He says no, but then she reads a (blank) note from Henry saying he won’t be home tonight, so David feels bad and stays. So they eat dinner and David offers to do the dishes. He asks Regina about how she found him. She makes up a story about forgetting her phone and going back for it and finding him on the way back. David says it was like the universe wanted her to find him. So of course she tries to kiss him. Ew! He backs away before any actual lip touching can occur, thank goodness. He says they’re good the way they are. Come on Regina, you’re supposed to be good friends with his ex-wife. Girl code much? Now, I’m not sure if Regina has tears in her eyes because she’s supposed to be playing the victim or if she is actually upset that she really can’t seduce David, but either way, after he leaves she takes a good look at herself in the mirror, does not like what she sees, and throws her wine glass at it.

Mary Margaret: She’s making sure that Emma truly wants Henry and isn’t just trying to get custody of him because of her grudge against Regina. Emma says she’s truly ready. Mary Margaret is back at the school and really happy about it. Regina comes by to give Henry his lunch and Mary Margaret gives Regina the calmest beat down I’ve ever seen. Mary Margaret should be yelling obscenities at Regina for all the hell she put her through (even though Regina tries to convince her that it was all Sidney, Mary Margaret ain’t buying what Regina is selling), but instead, she is calm. She forgives Regina, which you can tell infuriates her. Mary Margaret continues by saying that Regina must be real lonely if the only way she can be happy is to destroy everyone else’s happiness. Ding! Ding! Ding! You are correct Mary Margaret.

Henry: He has finally discovered the new pages in the book. Took him long enough. We’ve seen both him and Emma look at the book several times since August put the pages in. Henry also beats down Regina later when she wants Henry to be transferred out of Mary Margaret’s class. Henry, don’t antagonize her, it just makes her do stupid things like try to seduce David. We last see Henry getting into Emma’s car and she’s trying to take him out of Storybrooke. We’ll see how this ends up in the next episode.

Questions:

It took Henry, what, a few weeks to finally discover Pinocchio’s story had been added to the book?

Regina said Sidney is incarcerated. When did he have a trial? Did he leave Storybrooke? Is he in prison somewhere outside of Storybrooke? I thought no one could leave.

What happened to the rest of the enchanted trees?

Why did they have to build a wardrobe out of the tree? Why couldn’t they just put a hole in the tree to go through?

How would Geppetto not building the wardrobe benefit him in anyway? And are there no other wood carvers out there that could build it?

Why wasn’t Pinocchio’s story in the book in the first place? Henry knew Marco was Geppetto, so something had to be in there for Henry to know.

What preparations did the Blue Fairy have to go make before the curse? Nothing is supposed to be left afterward. Or was that just a test for Geppetto that he failed spectacularly?

Did August write the book somehow? How did he know there was a book and how did he know to add his story to it?

How was Pinocchio’s story not finished? We see an illustration of the whale after Geppetto and Pinocchio escaped from it, was that all it went to? Did it not show Pinocchio turning into a real boy? If it did, what else does there need to be?

How does Emma get back to Storybrooke? Did she ride back with August?

When did Pinocchio start going by August Wayne Booth? Did he randomly make it up, or did he go by something else as a kid? What name did he tell the social worker when they brought him and Emma to the foster home?

Where does August get money from? Did he really make that much as a writer that he doesn’t need to work anymore?

Observations:

Mary Margaret comments to Regina that ruining people’s happiness is only going to leave a giant hole in her heart. Maleficent said the same thing to Regina in 1x02 The Thing You Love Most.

Henry has a Tron lunchbox.

The clock Gold wants Marco to repair is the same one Geppetto teaches Pinocchio to repair.

Pinocchio as a puppet has blue eyes like August’s. Pinocchio as a real boy has hazel eyes.

Emma stops right in front of the unicorn mobile in Gold’s shop when talking to him.

Geppetto knows that Jiminy is responsible for his parents being turned into puppets.

The Blue Fairy lied!

Emma and August can leave Storybrooke.

The diner August brought baby Emma to is called Chantey’s Lobster House.

Emma and Pinocchio were brought to a forest not too far from where Storybrooke ended up.

Phuket is in Thailand.

August says his leg started turning back to wood when Emma made the decision to stay in Storybrooke. He says this was at 8:15 Storybrooke time, but it wasn’t. The clock was stuck at 8:15. That doesn’t mean that was the time she made the decision.

Marco has the wooden whale that Pinocchio made in the EF.

This was a good episode, but many people made bad choices here. Geppetto made a bad choice to let Pinocchio go through the wardrobe and take care of a newborn instead of informing Snow and Charming about it. The Blue Fairy made a bad choice in first, lying to Snow and Charming, and then to not tell them herself about the wardrobe after Snow had Emma early. Pinocchio made a bad choice in leaving Emma, but he was seven, so he didn’t have the best judgement. August seems to have made a lot of bad choices that he’s now trying to make up for by getting Emma to believe so he can save his own skin (literally). Emma is making a bad choice by trying to leave Storybrooke with Henry. Two more episodes until the end of season one!

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[austencello]

You have saved this City - Arrow Music Notes 7x22

The season finale concludes the conflict between Oliver and Emiko, the young Team Arrow saves the city in the future finishing with a beautiful and heartbreaking time with Oliver, Felicity, and baby Mia before Oliver leaves to save the universe.

Emiko and Oliver - breaking the cycle

After stopping the bioweapon virus from completely wrecking the city as well as as escaping the police who believed the team was responsible for the terroist attack, Oliver and Emiko have a final confrontation in Palmer Tech, the former Queen Consolidated. Emiko’s strings, percussion and alarm-like electronic sound plays as Oliver arrives: “I’ve been waiting for you.” As they face off, violins play a slow version of the Arrow theme and hammered dulcimer joins in as Oliver tells her that he was angry at her for letting their father die and sending him on a path that included so many losses. The Arrow string patterns and her string and brass motif alternates as they fight each other. His hero horn theme plays as he tells her that her allegiance to the 9th circle killed her mother as did her hatred for their father.  He admits that their father drove her away as a faster version of “I forgot who I was” (1x05) plays in the strings and then he tells her that together they can be better. “I forgot who I was” is the theme for Oliver and his family: Moira, Thea, William and Emiko.  It speaks to the lies and consequences that gave them so much heartbreak but also of the deep love and loyalty Oliver has to his family.  There is nothing more important to him than that.  This theme played in 7x10 as he discovered that his father had another family with Emiko.  Even after Emiko tried to kill him several times, determined to take down the Queen family legacy, he is determined to give her one more chance to redeem herself and turn away from hatred and vengeance, just as he was given that chance.

The 9th circle shows up to kill Oliver and Emiko chooses to fight with him instead of against him.  In the process, she is wounded and as she dies, she apologizes with the background of guitar harmonics (an instrument of Oliver’s since the pilot) admitting that she wanted to be a Queen. He couldn't save her physically but she did have a change of heart, warning him to keep his family safe from the 9th circle.  Oliver’s hero theme plays once more as he escapes the exploding building.

The future legacy

In the future, all the new team members are surrounded by Zeta soldiers and it looks bleak until one of them (Connor) gives Mia a knife and then she fights back as the her electric guitar Blackstar theme plays (first introduced in 7x08). Meanwhile, Zoe saves Rene and William as Dinah’s Canary theme plays.  This is either because Zoe’s is not firmly established or because Zoe is steeping into Dinah’s shoes as the next leader of the Canaries for the new generation.  This seems to fit with the theme of legacy that is present throughout the whole season but especially in this episode as the mantle is passed down.

As the whole team gathers to figure out how to stop Archer and bring the wall down, music from 7x16 (as William and Mia were looking for a tape recorder in black market underground) plays as Felicity mentions that she may have erased Mia from the Archer system giving them an advantage to defeating it.

One of the brilliant editing and storytelling moments was the going back and forth between Oliver and Emiko’s fight (especially with the 9th circle) and then with the younger team Arrow (William, Mia, Zoe, and Connor) as they blow up the wall.  One of the challenges that was well executed was the music going back and forth between the scenes.  The future music sounds have been well established (including string patterns alternating half-steps) as well as Oliver’s fighting music so it was always clear musically as well as visually which story was being told.  As Mia fought on the wall, horn played with string patterns underneath, a heroic sound clearly tying parallels between herself and her father. This horn theme mirrors Oliver’s 2nd hero theme (going down instead up) but Mia’s uses a 4th instead of a 5th making it her own.  Similar but unique.

Another music parallel was using her main theme slower in the high piano for a vulnerable moment as she told William to take care of their mom, believing that she might die before pressing the detonator.  Oliver’s main theme is used in the same way throughout the series so it is a beautiful way of using her main theme which seems brash and fierce in the electric guitar into a quiet, intimate moment in the piano.  Like Oliver, family (and Felicity) is the most important thing to Mia.  Then the full guitar and violin Blackstar theme plays as she fights her way out and zip-lines her way off the building.  (This season nicely established all the necessary music themes needed for next season or a spin-off if they choose to go that route).

The older team passes on the torch to the new team to protect the city and Felicity brings William and Mia to Oliver’s grave to say goodbye, wanting to be all together one last time.  As she does so, the opening strings from “Everyone left” (5x02) plays. It is a theme of loss and goodbyes, first when Oliver felt like he had pushed everyone away except Felicity and now as Felicity recognizes that William and Mia no longer needs her protection and says goodbye.  Mia and William still want her in their lives but she tells them that she promised Oliver that she would protect them until they didn’t need her anymore and she believes that that day has come.  As she shares this and they talk about missing Oliver, harp (Felicity’s instrument) plays as she tells them how proud Oliver would be of them.  Her love for both Oliver and her children kept her strong throughout the 20 years apart.  Oliver’s hero themes play in the violin as Felicity tells them how much she loves them and charges them to take of each other.  Oliver’s heroism is carried through Felicity and their kids: “He lives on in the two of you.” Piano (Oliver’s instrument) plays as they hug and the camera moves over to Oliver’s grave stone alongside his electronic Arrow slide.  

(Picture from telltaletv.com Arrow review)

The End of an Era

The team rejoices in saving the city in the present day and then Oliver and Felicity tell them that they are leaving the city, his legacy being the team, leaving the city in good hands.  His Arrow theme plays in the horn and low strings as he shares that he thought his legacy would be saving the city but was in fact the team.  Hammered dulcimer begins to play as he says that he started his crusade alone and he thought he would end it alone but that every bit of success was due to the team being alongside him with their courage, compassion, selflessness and loyalty (the 4 admirable traits/pillars of heroism in Oliver that Tommy pointed out in the previous episode).  Hammered dulcimer was used in the pilot as Oliver looked at his scars and set up the Foundry alone and has accompanied him on his journey to being a fully fleshed out hero; from being closed off and singleminded to trusting others: Diggle, Felicity, Roy and many others throughout the years.  His team reflects the best part of himself and the violins take over the slow version of the Arrow theme as he shares this and they talk about creating the Mark of Four.  The horns take over and low strings play a repeating pattern building up the music as Diggle mentions that it feels like an end of a era, the music resembling “Not Black or White”(4x23) in feel, paralleling looking over the masks and uniforms together.

Oliver stands in the middle looking over the bunker as Felicity joins him asking if he had second thoughts while clarinet plays.  This instrument is rarely used for the two of them but was used in the previous episode when Alena asked Felicity what she was willing to do differently to keep their baby safe.  It is the sound of a new beginning for their family.  Diggle comes over and tells them that they are leaving behind a cycle and legacy of heroes who will fight for the city with every fiber of their being as Oliver’s hero horn plays 2 in a expanded theme.  The closing of the bunker is accompanied by the classic Arrow title music as the lights shut down focusing on Oliver’s face.

Oliver, Felicity and Diggle arrive at their new home as clarinet and violins play the Olicity theme “The one I love” (2x23).  The clarinet adds a new dimension to their family, the culmination of their love and joy for their baby girl as they tell Diggle about her.  Lower strings play Oliver’s second hero theme as Diggle mentions that now that the city is in good hands, they can focus on their family.  The first time this theme played was in 1x14, the episode when Felicity became part of the team, joining Oliver and Diggle.  It is fitting to have that play with the three of them once again at the end of the team and moving on, having completed their mission. 

The music then transitions to “Being Happy” (1x07) as they say goodbye to Diggle, have a cabin honeymoon looking out over the stars, the birth of Mia and then walking through the yard, with Oliver lifting Mia up.  Using this theme brings several moments back such as 2x06 with Diggle thanking Oliver for helping bring back Lyla: “you had my back.” Now, Diggle has their backs as he helps establish their new home, always a part of their family.  But even more importantly, it brings back a conversation with Tommy in 1x17 when Oliver tells him that lying to the people closest to him was hard but he was wrong to think he could be both the vigilante and be open with people around him.  Tommy told him that if he is alone, he’ll never be happy and Oliver responded that being happy wasn’t what was important.  Oliver never imagined that he would live past his mission let alone be worthy of happiness.  But now he is blissfully happy thanks to the love of his life and the daughter they share which is emphasized by the violins and horn playing a version of the Olicity theme as he holds baby Mia as he sleeps.  Oliver is happy and at peace.

Then the Monitor shows up to collect Oliver from the deal he made in the crossover to save the universe.  As the scene flashes back to their conversation, the Monitor’s violin theme plays and the added choir makes the moment epic in scale as he gives Oliver the option to maintain the balance to save Kara and Barry by agreeing to help the multiverse to survive when it is time. Strings and brass play as the scene returns to present day and a timpani roll leads into the news that the Monitor has seen Oliver die in the upcoming Crisis.  A repeated electronic note (reminded me of Chariots of Fire) accompanies the horns and strings as Felicity tries to stop it asking why it always has to be Oliver.  The repeated note gives a sense of inevitability, no way to stop what is to come.

The episode ends with Ruelle’s song “The other side” giving the season a bookend of Ruelle songs as the season opened with one of her songs, as Felicity and Oliver were separated by a long prison sentence, following Oliver’s lonely and repetitive journey in prison.  Now, the lyrics match the goodbye Oliver has to say to Felicity and Mia, heartbroken and unsure that he will ever come back.  Felicity promises to come find him and 20 years later, the Monitor takes her to find him.

I don't want to know who we are without each other It's just too hard I don't want to leave here without you I don't want to lose part of me Will I recover? That broken piece, let it go and unleash all the feelings I don't want to know what it's like to live without you Don't want to know the other side of a world without you

I don't want to know I don't want to know

Extra Notes

- I cried a lot with this episode.  And then again in writing this review.  It was beautiful and heart-breaking. While I realize there are 10 more episodes, this felt like a series finale.  The rest almost feels like an epilogue to a grand tale of a man who became a hero, who deeply loves his family and his city, who fell in love and grew to accept that he was worthy of happiness.

- My deep dive into Arrow’s music was through Felicity after Season 3.  I wrote a brief thing on Oliver and a little more on Diggle but then I recorded every bit of her music through the first 3 seasons which inspired me to keep writing and analyzing the individual episodes, 4x01 until now.  I loved discovering the use of harp and that her last scene in the official score used that.  I love the Olicity theme with it]s numerous iterations and have even recorded cello and piano versions of it. While I hope that it will appear in the last 10 episodes, I also love that it was played twice as Oliver, Felicity and Mia had a bit of happiness together.  I am going to miss Felicity greatly.

- For some reason, my account cannot find any Mia or future gifs.  It’s weird.

- Sorry for the month delay.  My life has been crazy (sister’s wedding, cello recital, etc.)!  

- I have one or two Arrow music projects I am hoping to accomplish this summer.  I’ll keep you posted!

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