#finance bros Charmes
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Hades Charmes brain rot dump
Domestic Charmes Modern Au for my needs bc there’s not enough art of them HNNNNG (bless you AO3 writers)
Some designs for Hermes. (Charon’s still in the backlog in my head rn). Hermes with glasses anyone??? 😭
I’m in the deep trenches of making my own Au where Hermes and Charon are finance bros (god of commerce and the god who collects gold, duh, ain’t no way they’re dirt poor).
There’s plenty of fics that display Hermes as the black sheep of the family who’s running his own life away from his family doing odd jobs and barely hangs on (no hate I love them!!!) but there’s not enough Rich! Hermes out there so I just gotta insert my own brain rot. Charon and Hermes working for rival finance companies (one deal with future investment and one deal with settlement money/clauses after one’s death (idk if it’s a real thing but meh)
Check the tags for the synopsis lol AO3 style
Bless Jen Zee for long hair Hermes bc all the hairstyle I can conjure from this 😩🙏
The glasses started as a goofy accessory and ended up staying. Longsighted-Hermes who can’t see things that are close to him and uses contact lenses at work 👁️👁️. Only wears glasses at home (with Charon). Grows very little beard and is perpetually tired bc overworked! Hermes is so canon.
#hades game#hades 2#charmes#hermes hades#charon hades#enemies to lovers#alternative universe#office au#modern au#finance bros Charmes#domestic fluff#using Hermes other aspects as god of commerce and trickster#Hermes is a smart boy#he’s his own boss#dude went behind his company to usurp his Father and unite with his lover#dickbag daddy Zeus is still canon#from hades 2 dialogue where he disses Hermes#but no worries Charon is there for Hermes#so does house of hades#other olympians are chill tho#including Hera bc that woman needs a fucking break#angst with happy ending
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OK so after finishing BBC Ghosts, I started watching CBS Ghosts, and at first I was underwhelmed because it felt like literally an exact copy of the BBC one and also with worse acting and special effects. But then I kept watching and it’s charming in its way, like a Disney Channel AU of the BBC version, and there’s heartwarming moments and decent jokes, plus original ideas like the idea of every ghost having a “ghost power” and Sam going to see her mom’s ghost. That said, I did think it would have been more interesting if instead of doing a nearly one-to-one copy of the ghost ensemble in the BBC version (friendly arrow guy from the 80s, corrupt rich douche with no pants, proper lady of the manor, oldest guy who wears furs and is rough and tough, gay soldier guy, flighty naive girl... and then instead of Thomas and Mary they do have Sass and Alberta, that IS some originality) they could’ve just come up with entirely new American ghosts. I would’ve loved to see some more originality. I actually had been hoping they would include a Jewish ghost, like an immigrant making his way as a peddler in the Hudson Valley somehow idk. And uh, turns out they do have a Jewish ghost, cause in episode 16 it becomes obvious that the corrupt rich douche with no pants is Jewish, and every person he worked with in his corrupt finance firm was Jewish, and also he was friends with Bernie Madoff. So that’s fun
THIS IS NOT ME “CANCELLING” THE SHOW FOR ANTISEMITISM. I DO NOT THINK THAT’S WHAT’S HAPPENING. I AM JUST COMPLAINING
#a weird amount of sitcoms have this subtle 'jewish characters as rich pieces of shit' thing#like in parks and rec there's dennis feinstein and the sapersteins#it's like#they don't HAVE to be the only characters in the show who say 'oy vey' and 'mazel tov' and then also love money to an evil degree#to the point where there's a joke that the spoiled jew daughter says 'money please'#and the evil jew capitalist hunts people for sport#i just. why even make trevor jewish. why have him say 'oy' and 'mishigas' and 'mazel' and his friends are pinchas and ari#and his last name is i think leibowitz or something similar#why. what does that add#julian wasn't jewish but to be fair there's like thirty jews in the entire united kingdom and most are orthodox#and he was also a politician and not a finance bro#ANYWAY. PLEASE DON'T GET MAD AT ME FOR TRYING TO CANCEL THIS SHOW. I AM NOT#i think it's sweet and charming#i like that isaac gets to come out of the closet and that he's played by curtis theothertwo#i like the ghost powers and lore. i like sass and his dry humor#it's not as good as the bbc one but it's FINE#i'm just bitching about a thing i see sometimes which i understand is not real oppression because we're not really oppressed. I KNOW#cbs ghosts#written by me
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What it would actually be like to date various HBOWAR men (modern au):
by me and @guarnerepdf
Speirs:
-is a cokehead finance bro
-you wake up in the middle of the night to him watching you sleep with no explanation given, just an eery smile
-is gaslighting you for purposes unknown (moving your furniture one inch to the left etc)
-buys you the fucking tackiest expensive jewelry and designer clothes as random gifts but half of it is fake
-you justify staying because he takes you to NOBU but you’re afraid to google him
-malarkey keeps telling you he's a serial killer but he has such beautiful hair
-lipton keeps handing you domestic violence brochures when he thinks no one is looking. you throw them away because you want that fucking ugly gucci belt! and the staring is sort of charming after a while
-possibly has a secret child that he is hiding from you. you're not sure.
-the first time you have sex he chokes you without asking and is confused when you get mad at him over it.
-does coke while eating dry fruit loops cereal in the morning. somehow looks hot while doing it.
Liebgott and Webster:
-challengers level toxic throuple, these two come as a pair!
-liebgott is xanned out so badly on the regular that he does not remember the last time he washed his hands.
-lieb met bill and toye in rehab and now all his friends are undergrads even though he's going on thirty.
-lieb won't kiss you in the morning "goddamn it woman, brush your teeth" but will kiss webster no problem!
-lieb likes webster more, but web likes you more because you don't call him slurs and you let him rant to you about sharks.
-you and web unionize at some point to get liebgott back into rehab. when he's gone you realize your relationship is 200 million times healthier but also extremely boring. you take him back the minute he releases himself AMA.
-lieb cannot figure out how to work tiktok, meanwhile webster has 100k subscribers on youtube and does grwm story time videos.
-you once had to be driven home by babe from the gas station after lieb kicked you out of the car. the fight was because he didn't believe you when you said you were allergic to gluten. babe lets you play cinnamon girl by lana del rey on the way home.
-lieb keeps trying to weaponize therapy language against you, 'baby you're fucking gaslighting me!' webster just makes it worse when he tries to explain what the terms actually mean.
Bill:
-you start dating Bill after he steals you away from Babe. Babe was nice, but you got the ick immediately after realizing he's not the leader of the friend group.
-bill sends you disgusting dick pics with extremely poor lighting. you can see his bottle of lotion in the background.
-you think it's sweet that he brings flowers when you go out until you realize they're stolen from the neighbor's flowerbed.
-you have an extremely lavish jersey shore wedding that culminates in a horrible fight when he shoves cake in your face ruining your 400 dollar makeup (that you paid for) and your 2000 dollar dress (that you paid for). during your vows babe has to hold himself back from saying something when the priest asks if there are any objections.
-DIRTY fingernails! does not wash his hands. gives you a UTI but doesn't understand that it's his fault.
-Doesn't cheat but is always on the brink of it.
-Follows multiple swimsuit models on Insta, claims it's okay because 'sweetheart, listen, it's all on the screen!'
-Is so cheap he refuses to pay for extra sugar for your coffee, 'you've had it bitter before, babe.' you are ready to murder him. takes you to chili's and acts like it's a michelin star restaurant.
Talbert:
-cheats on you immediately. within the first week.
-sends you anonymous texts to get STD tested, too scared to actually go to the clinic but is certain he's dying of syphilis.
-cries to lip for an hour when you leave him for speirs.
Gale Cleven:
-'sweetheart. are you really gonna wear that out to dinner? it's a bit...well... risque.'
-accuses you of being an alchoholic every time you drink, but Bucky has done four Jeagerbombs tonight and isn't getting any lectures. Also. Why is Bucky with you two on your date night?
-is straight but keeps stringing Bucky along because he reminds him of his father and for narcissism reasons.
-marge messages you on facebook to warn you about him, and also to sell you on her new MLM scheme.
-bucky keeps giving you mean little grins as he hangs off your man....you are very close to murdering him.
-you finally leave him after he calls you daddy in bed. not mommy. but daddy.
Bucky:
-gives you chlamidya three weeks into dating. gaslights you into thinking you got it from sitting on a public toilet seat.
-drives drunk while you're in the passenger seat, goes above 90 and almost kills the both of you.
-is in love with gale and you both know it but refuses to talk about it.
-laughs when you start crying over your new STD diagnosis.
-is the worst boyfriend in the entire world. do not date this man!
Leckie:
-cheats on you with vera, but has a jealous meltdown everytime you talk to hoosier at house parties. you were literally just asking the man for a lighter.
-hoosier is stirring shit up for shits and giggles. he keeps liking your thirst trap insta photos, commenting 'photo cred'
-cries when you confront him about cheating. writes a poem to you about how badly hurt he was by the whole situation. says he only did it because that's how he was raised! no one taught him how to love properly!!
-exploits his family trauma at any given opportunity, shameless about it
-writes you sweet yet cringy love poems
-chuckler keeps trying to warn you but is so awkward about it that you just end up super confused
-blows up the minute you try and critique his writing
-tells you you're acting 'just like you're mother!' during arguments
-eventually you break up because you cheat on him with hoosier and he cheats on you again with vera
Hoosier:
-completely emotionally unavailable
-laughs at you in the middle of a fight, then when you storm out he stares at the wall for four hours straight. no blinking. no moving.
-goes to chuckler thinking he's dying because he has a 'weird feeling in his stomach.' the feeling is literally just a crush.
-catches leckie flirting with you. doesn't cause a scene but DOES immediately cheat on you as a retaliatory action. has no idea why you're mad about it.
-determined to hurt you before you hurt him.
-somehow makes you think you're in the wrong due to the sheer FORCE of his conviction that it was okay for him to cheat on you.
-you two break up but get back together after having a baby. the baby is possibly not hoosier's but he's a genuinely good father. (the baby very obviously has leckie's face. no one is fooled.)
-during your wedding ceremony leckie has to be thrown out after making the worst best man speech of all time.
-parent teacher conferences are a nightmare because your child is biting the other kids and is failing all her classes. hoosier blames you for not helping her with her homework. you all go out to souplantation afterwards and he keeps dropping barbs about you being a dumbass.
-the two of you stay married for 40 beautiful years before dying of old age. within those 40 years you separate and get back together a total of 5 times. leckie somehow outlives you both.
Luz:
-is sweet and lovely and handsome and makes you laugh a lot but
-you're banned from six movie theatres, three bars, the pier, disneyland, and a froyo shop
-you don't even LIKE froyo but the fact that you can't fucking go there anymore is driving you up the wall
-you got kicked out of disneyland because he got into a fistfight with donald duck
-his mother HATES you. she is the ultimate boy mom. they are constantly talking about you in Portuguese behind your back. she wears white to your wedding.
-cannot go grocery shopping because he's stopped every five feet by some old acquaintance. you have no idea how he knows any of these people!
Eugene:
-you're his beard but he doesn't know it
-is the ideal gay boyfriend/husband
-buys you flowers and takes you out on beautiful dates. cringes when you try to kiss him
-everything would be PERFECT except snafu keeps creating dummy accounts to harass you, drives by your house at all hours of the night, and you're pretty sure he's planning to SWAT you.
-eugene has no idea why you hate snafu? he's such a sweet guy!
Babe:
-you're a bit embarrassed to tell your friends you're dating him....he's sweet but just so dorky
-almost puked on you after taking a dab at bill's house. you had to comfort him for ten minutes
-long suffering angel who you cheat on because you know he's just too good for you.... better to hurt him before he leaves you first!
-is popular on tiktok somehow. you have no idea how this happened but it did
#we came here to set you x reader girlies STRAIGHT on some matters#ron speirs#ronald speirs#edward babe heffron#babe heffron#bill guarnere#bill hoosier smith#robert leckie#eugene sledge#floyd talbert#george luz#joseph liebgott#joe liebgott#david webster#gale cleven#john egan#john bucky egan#men not mentioned either bc we do not care about them or because they would be good boyfriends and there would be no drama#like...there is no drama dating malarkey or roe so as much as we love them. they r not on the list <3
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6:37 pm
word count - 907 words
warnings - kuroo is a loser also shitty writing, not proof read much
a/n - happy bday kuroo this is ass lowkey but i'm sorry i'm trying my best. i hate university i'm so busy and stressed but at least my suitemate got a kitty and she's so soft and warm and cute slay
anyways yeah kuroos a loser with no rizz...sorry. he's kicking his feet and giggling over 1 (one) interaction
there was a man. in your spot. at the library.
it was (unfortunately) finals week, meaning you were one more quiz away from a certified crash out, and one more discussion post away from taking a swan dive off the closest bridge. your left eye was twitching, you were running on less than the healthy 8 hours of sleep, and you were drinking your second energy drink of the day.
you were supposed to go to the library on campus to Your Spot, the one you have reigned supreme over for the past few months. it was quiet, on the 4th floor, away from everybody working on group projects below. it was secluded, off in the corner. it had a nice charging block with multiple outlets available, and it had a pretty view of some trees that sunlight could warm you as day faded into night.
it was perfect. it was beautiful.
and it was currently being taken by some guy.
your eye twitched again. you debated shoving him out of your chair, or pouring your drink over his computer, or maybe just glaring at him and biting his shoulder like a rabid animal (the aforementioned crash out from above), but you recognize that starting and escalating an altercation is not productive, and also that a homicide charge won't add anything to your gpa.
so you sighed, resigned, before making your way to the empty table a few feet from Your Spot. but you decided to do some investigative research (read: spying) to figure out what could possibly be so important for this man to study that he needed to take Your Spot. you quickly peek over his shoulder, scanning for his notes and computer.
“net profit…statistical probability…essay for…”
your eye twitches again. statistical probability? net profit? no fucking way Your Spot was taken by a business major?? a finance bro? an absolute buffoon?? did they even have finals, other than a coloring page?
fuck you, mysterious business guy. fuck you.
you were just about to leave when your eyes left his desk-
-and locked eyes with him.
he...he caught you staring!!
wait. no. you caught him stealing your spot, and then you decided to snoop a bit, rightfully so! he's in the wrong here!!
"um, do you need something?" he asked, an easy smile on his lips.
his eyes were hazel with golden depths, and though his hair was messy and his eyes tired, you could still see the gleam of a piercing (and honestly, kind of hot) look to them.
"...no," you say.
"you can have this table, if you want," he said, beginning to pack up. "i'm almost done here anyway."
"oh no, you don't have to-"
"but don't you sit here everyday to study?" he whispered, standing up. you realized just then how tall he was.
you catch his words after a second (you were not distracted by the height difference!), and stare at him hard. "what are you, a stalker? how do you know where i sit?"
he shrugged, zipping up his bag and hoisting it onto his shoulder. "well you sit in the same spot on the same floor like clockwork every night, so it's kind of hard not to not notice."
you rack your brain, trying to remember if you ever saw a guy like him sitting nearby you in the library. it would be hard to forget someone who looked like him (respectfully, and because he is tall and for no other reason!!!), but for some reason, you couldn't remember seeing him at all. maybe he really was a stalker?? "well why did you decide to take my spot then anyway, stalker?" you huff, annoyed.
he had started leaving by now, and brushed your shoulder on the way out. he looked over his shoulder with a smile full of charm.
"because i wanted an excuse to talk to someone pretty like you, of course," he said with a grin. "see you next week."
he left his crush standing jaw open as he nonchalantly scurried away. jesus christ, he never realized just how hard his heart would beat when he spoke to you.
he liked how focused you looked when you worked on your assignments, or how your finger tapped restlessly against your pencil when you came across something difficult. it was just a little school crush, really, and he shouldn't be looking too much into it. but when he got to the library today and saw someone had stolen his spot a few tables away, meaning that he could sit in yours and get an excuse to talk to you...well, he was just a little bit giddy.
he opened the old groupchat from his high school days. a lot of his friends from nekoma were busy with their own lives, but they still kept in touch to this day.
kuroo: guess who go to talk to their crush todayyyy yaku: you finally gained the guts? wow, how impressive. i'm sure they're head over heels for you now. kai: congratulations on saying hi!! kenma: stalker kuroo: i hate all of you.
he couldn't contain his little giggle. maybe next time, he would have the confidence to ask to sit next to you.
#haikyuu!!#oshy writes#kuroo testuro#kuroo x reader#kuroo tetsuro x reader#kuroo fluff#kuroo headcanons#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x you#kuroo x you
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Gemini
Rating: EXPLICIT 18+ MDNI
Pairing: Dave York x f! Reader x OC Em
Word count: 4.3k
Summary: you and your friend decide to have a little fun and get more than you bargained for.
Warnings: SMUT, FFM, oral f and m receiving, sex toys, fingering, degradation, facial, cum play, I can’t remember what else. You know what you’re here for. No use of y/n, not proofread, not beta’d, all mistakes are mine, just ignore them.
A word from the author: I have had this nearly complete in my WIPs for MONTHS. I can’t believe it is finally done. Dedicated to my girls (especially @youandmeand5bucks ) who know who they are. Love you so much, my sluts.
You made the agreement years ago. You don’t even remember how it started and it had always felt like a silly promise, an inside joke. You and your best friend would never fight over a man. If you ever liked the same guy, you’d just share him and live happily ever after as a throuple. You gleefully announced plans and goals for your hypothetical family of three often.
“We are going to have so many dogs!”
“Can we just make our bedroom one huge bed?”
“You cook, I’ll clean!”
It was comforting to have a plan, even if you never did find your third.
It was especially comforting when everyone either of you dated was a disappointment. Anger issues, hidden drug addictions, liars, and bad lays. The girls you’d dated were just as much of a let down as the guys. It was discouraging. Em didn’t fare much better. She’s had her own heartbreaks. Tonight finds you sitting at the Silver Dollar, a cozy bar where you can tuck into a booth and commiserate, clinking every glass together, sloshing your rum and cranberry, growing bolder and surlier. You’re making more plans. Em is leaning her forehead into her palm, looking dejected. You don’t want to see her like this.
“Em. Em! Em, let’s fuck somebody. Let’s have fun.”
She can hear the tone you get when you’re about to make a bad decision, but she just smiles without looking up.
“I’m serious! Why should we suffer?”
Your best friend looks up, to your delight, the gleam in her eyes matches yours.
“Alright. Yeah. Let’s fuck somebody.”
You may have squealed. You’ve had a threesome before. You’d agreed to sleep with your ex and his ex, against your better judgment, but you only live once, right? And you and Em had fooled around a bit. Something of a party trick. Maybe it was a tired cliche, but it did always heat things up to make out with your friend to the cheers and encouragement of the people around you. It never meant anything, so why not? You trust Em, she trusts you, and you know that no matter what, you’ll have each other if no one else.
Em ordered one more round while you touched up your lipstick, feeling electric. You had a nice buzz, feeling tingly and charming. Scooting over to sit on the same side of the booth as your friend, you began to scan the room, smiling, searching, leaning close to talk in Em’s ear, pointing out who would or wouldn’t work for your stress reliever. Maybe you’d never needed to invoke “the plan” before because you and Em rarely fell for the same types. Agreeing wasn’t going to be easy. There were big guys, barrel chested, bearded and loud, young, smug white guys who were almost certainly in “finance” or whatever, ball cap wearing plaid shirted bros who would probably spring for pizza after. None you could agree on. You had begun to think that the fantasy could be enough to get you by when a man strode by you, sidled up to the bar, and waved to the bartender with such a commanding presence that you and Em were both spellbound. You blinked at him, looked at each other, looked back to him, and watched as he took his drink and turned to survey the room before finding a spot to settle in.
He was handsome. You would guess he was in his mid forties, putting him roughly fifteen years ahead of you, not that you minded. He had thick brown curls, just slightly overgrown, beginning to show a hint of gray, and creases at the corners of his eyes. He was in a suit, but no tie. He had a ring on his left hand.
“Probably meeting his wife.” You huffed to Em, more disappointed than was probably necessary for the circumstances. Her smile had dropped as well though, and you turned back to your drinks. You wanted to be hoes, not homewreckers. Right?
Dave had seen you. He saw you smiling and laughing, grabbing each other’s hands as you talked. It was hard to miss your animated conversation. Hard to not notice your low cut dress and her snug tank top. You must be in your early thirties. Maybe mid thirties. Adults, but with some spark of youth and possibility left. Dave secured a glass of whiskey and found his vantage point- a high top table in the corner. He could easily see you, but you’d have to crane your necks to see him.
He pulled out his phone and typed a quick text. “Late meeting, won't be home for a while. Don’t wait up, love you.” and sent it to Carol. Carol, his unassuming wife and mother of his children. Always so understanding about his late nights at the office.
The Silver Dollar wasn’t really the place to dance, but there was a juke box and a pool table, so rather than call it a night, you sunk a few dollars into the machine and selected Dreams by Fleetwood Mac, the first few notes drawing mixed responses from the nearby crowd. You can’t make everyone happy.
Em chalked her pool stick and you racked the balls- was that the right word? Who cares? You made them look like a triangle and sang along to your song. “It’s only me who wants to wrap around your dreams…” you sang to yourself as you stood and turned. Your eyes landed on the handsome man once more. His eyes were on you, his glass tilted to his lips and you could swear he was smiling. He couldn’t be, though. You smiled with closed lips and turned away.
“Em. Look. Look. That guy is LOOKING at us.”
Always subtle, Em dropped the end of her pool cue to the floor, tossed her hair over her shoulder, and smiled right at him.
“Maybe he’ll come over! Looks like he’s alone.”
You ventured another look, and he was indeed all alone at his table, and he was definitely still looking your way. He didn’t look away as he sat down his glass and strode toward you.
“Good song, but you suck at pool.”
You scoffed at his opening line, annoyed that he was already being a dick and eager to hear more of his smooth, deep voice.
“Show us how it’s done then, babe. Put balls in holes and maybe my friend will give you a kiss. Keep you from saying anything dumb.”
If he can be an asshole, you can be an asshole.
“Deal.”
He regarded you for a moment, leaned over the sticky felt, and jabbed the cue forward. The white ball tapped the orange ball and the orange ball knocked the yellow ball into the side pocket. Of course it did. He looked at Em expectantly, and ever the good sport, she kissed him softly, giving his tie a little tug. His smile was infuriating.
“How about you, sweetheart? What do you want to wager?”
You thought about it, then winked at Em.
“Make another shot like that and I’ll kiss her.”
“You’d do that anyway. Think of something else.”
There he went being an asshole again. A confident, cocky, good-looking asshole.
“Alright, make three more shots and we’ll take you to the bathroom.”
His eyes glittered and the corner of his mouth lifted a tiny bit as he looked back and forth from you to Em, and Em to you.
“I’m going to make four shots and then we’re going back to mine.”
“That’s a pretty bold assumption. What makes you think we would leave with you?” Em was at your side now, arm around your waist, while you combed your fingers through her hair lightly. You could tell she didn’t mind his lousy personality. She never recognized a red flag. You liked his voice though, and his eyes were kind of nice. He had the nose of a Greek god. If she wanted to go home with him, why shouldn’t you indulge her? Safer to go together anyway.
“You came here just to go home with somebody. It’s either one of these guys,” he said, gesturing to the crowd that had gathered around a college basketball game on the tv “or it's someone who can make you come.”
“Alright, well that’s a lot of big talk. Move the balls and we’ll see what happens.
And he does. First one, then another and another and another. He does it quickly and as easily as if the balls had been pulled with string. He grins wide, showing his straight white teeth and how his eyes crinkle at the corners. He really is handsome. Maybe you’d be insufferable too if you were an attractive man. He slid his arm around you, pulling you close for a kiss that made your pussy throb. When he pulled away, he didn’t turn you loose, just smirked and pulled Em in for another just like it. You heard her moan softly into his mouth.
“Let’s go.” He snaps his fingers and tilts his head toward the door. “I’ll get a cab.” By the time your tab was settled at the bar, a black sedan was waiting. He opened the door for you, ushering you inside with a gloved hand, sealing your plans for the night.
••••••
His apartment was immaculately clean, with little in the way of personality. This was clearly not his home, and while that raised a few questions, neither you or Em thought it was wise to ask. You didn’t ask about the ring, either. You asked his name and he’d told you, but offered nothing more. Maybe you should have been more cautious, but his cool, detached demeanor, the car with a driver, the expensive looking coat and shoes he wore, and the way he smelled clean and well-off in an indescribable sort of way were enough to reassure you that he wasn’t planning to murder you. He didn’t look like a killer.
“Get comfortable. We’ll be a while.” Dave called from the kitchen where he poured wine into three glasses. You and Em each settled into a cushion on the couch, leaving room for him to sit in the middle. When he returned with the wine, he frowned.
“You’re still dressed. I told you to get comfortable. Take your clothes off.” You were a little taken aback at how blunt he was, but you began to unzip your dress. He stopped you again, more thoughtful this time. “Undress each other.”
Dave knew girls like you. Fun girls. Girls he could blow off steam with. You would think you were giving him the thrill of a lifetime, that you were in control. Exactly the kind of girls he liked to push to their limits and see what they were really game for. Would one of you be more bold than the other? Would one of you pout and feel left out? Maybe you’d surprise him. Maybe you’d be just what he was looking for.
Turning to Em, you exchange knowing looks and pull her tank top up, gathering the material in your hands, slowly exposing her inch by inch, taking time to rub your hands over each bit of newly exposed skin. You took extra care in lifting the skimpy top over her tits, pulling the hem snug as you inched it up, letting them bounce lewdly as they were freed. You snuggled close to her, tracing your fingers over her hardening nipples as she finished unzipping your dress, letting it fall. Em gently squeezed your breasts, pushing them up, kneading at the plush swell of them, daring to lean forward to take a nipple into her mouth.
Of course, this was all a show, a little put-on for Dave’s benefit. Pleased with yourselves, you turned to see his reaction. He had taken his place on the couch, tie loosened, shirt untucked,knees spread wide, eyes dark, and hands resting suggestively, dangerously close to the bulge that strained against his pants.
He raised his eyebrows. “Keep going. I said naked. This isn’t skinemax, ladies.”
“Sure looks like you’re enjoying it so far.” Em piped up from behind you as she slid her hands around your waist, tucking her fingertips into the lacy band of your panties, sliding her hands forward and down to cup your mound. You wiggled your hips and smirked at him, holding his gaze as you leaned back to catch your best friend’s lips in a soft kiss. His hips rocked ever so slightly but he only reiterated “Keep. Going.”
Soon her jeans and both your panties were on the floor and you kissed, groping at each other in the best impression you could do of over-produced porn. You were both wet, seeping arousal, taking turns caressing each other’s pussies. There was no real intent in your touches, it was all theater.The way Dave watched and moved his hand to cover the tent in his pants didn’t escape you. You could see him gently pressing it and squeezing it, you saw how his chest rose and fell. After Em had rubbed your slick onto your nipples and blew on them to make them stiffen, you dragged your fingers through her folds and sucked her taste from your fingers. You kissed her deeply. “Don’t you taste good, baby?” You cooed to her.
You watched as Dave stood and loosened his belt, pulling it from his belt loops in a way that made you throb. Dave had had enough of your simpering. “Alright, enough of that. Let’s see if you can listen and earn a little reward, hm? Think you can do that? You both nodded, batting your eyes at him. “Knees, both of you. Right here.” He gestured to the floor at his feet. You obediently kneeled, waiting for his next move. The air was buzzing with anticipation as you got between his knees. You were close, softly pawing at each other, bare breasts bumping together, pouting and kissing and running hands up his thighs. “You sluts do this a lot, huh? So hungry for cock you’re willing to do anything for it.” He grinned darkly as he unzipped his slacks to release his turgid member.
It was big. you stared at it a moment, lips falling open in awe. You looked to Em, but found her similarly stunned by the cock Dave had just pulled from his pants. You could tell he was well endowed, but it wasn’t just big, it was beautiful. Thick, tanned, with a prominent vein running up the underside to a mouthwateringly fat head that shone with precome. “It won’t suck itself.” Dave interrupted your thoughts.
You licked your lips subconsciously as you watched him stroke his length lazily. The glint of his wedding band, the smooth pull of foreskin covering and uncovering his fat, leaking tip. You yourself for a moment, but Dave brought you back. “You’d do anything I told you to, wouldn’t you? Dumb little whores. You can’t help yourselves.”
You blinked up at him, nodding shallowly. He raised an eyebrow at you, and the time to talk was over. You gripped the thick base and licked up the length of him. Em held his balls in her palm as you worked, licking and sucking up one side until she joined you, working in tandem to slick him up with your combined saliva, taking impatient turns sucking the tip into your mouths. You tried to kiss each other with his cock between your lips, letting him thrust into the wet tunnel made by your mouths as your tongues meet under his heavy shaft. Suddenly Em pulls away, kissing you hard before gripping your hair in her hand to guide Dave’s cock into your mouth. She strokes him while she fucks him with your mouth, looking from him to you, pleased with her little trick. Your mind was blank. You let the two of them use you like a toy and your cunt dripped, wetting your thighs. Dave leaned over you and wrapped his warm hand around the back of your neck. You couldn’t see what was happening, but you heard the unmistakable sound of kissing.
“That’s good girls. Great. But if you want a little surprise you have to go get it.”
“Go get it?” You asked dumbly, not understanding what he meant.
“It’s in the bedroom. Right down the hallway. Go ahead, the door’s open.”
You and Em stood and moved toward the dark hallway, but his voice stopped you in your tracks.
“Uh uh. On your knees. Want to see you crawl for me.”
Dave was smirking, but he just held out his hand, gesturing for you to go ahead of him. Another look is exchanged between you and your friend. You saw the flash of uncertainty in her eyes, but she followed suit as you dropped to your knees, arching your back to make a show of crawling as seductively as possible while Dave followed, watching the sway of your hips.
“Really didn’t expect to bring home a whore tonight, let alone two.”
You made it to his bed and you both sat on your knees, assuming a submissive position without even being told. Dave had that effect.
“You’re fast learners. I think you earned your prize. Treasure chest is under the bed, sweetheart. Pull it out.”
He directed Em with a jut of his chin as he untied his tie, then unbuttoned his shirt with care, laying it neatly on the dresser. As he worked to undress, Em pulled a black briefcase from under the bed. She popped the latches and lifted the top, revealing an array of vibrators and dildos and toys you’d only seen in porn.
You picked up a glass wand with a little pink heart on one end, and teased it between your tits.
“This is quite a collection, Dave…You know how to use all this?”
Dave was stripped down to just his snug black boxers now, pretty cock tucked away once more. He knelt down and took your chin in his big warm hand and spoke softly.
“I’m not going to use them. You are.” He turned to look at Em, smiling sweetly. “On her.”
It sent a chill up your spine. Where did this man come from? Where did he learn to talk like this? How often does he do this? He was unreal, you thought. Em was similarly affected, her eyes were shining obsidian, and her hand was between her thighs.
“You want that? Hmm?” He pouted at her mockingly. “Get on the bed and lay down.” You reached for a purple vibrator, but he grabbed your wrist. “I’ll pick. Go get between her legs.” You might have been nervous, but when you stood, he smacked your ass playfully, a mischievous smirk on his lips.
Em had made herself comfortable on his pillows, hair fanned out around her head, knees bent, and fingers dipping aimlessly into her slit. “You’re so pretty.” You cooed to her. “Look at you, sexy girl. You ready to let him watch me fuck you?” Em kissed you, quick and sweet, a reminder that this was something you both wanted. “I’m ready for you, baby. Better make me come.”
Dave brought his “treasure chest” to the bed and climbed on behind you. He was close. You could feel his breath on your shoulder before his hands were on your thighs, your belly, pinching your nipple, never staying in one spot long. “I want you to play with her tits.”
You climbed over your best friend forever, and kissed her again, more sensually this time. You plucked at her nipple, then licked the other.
“Suck and squeeze.”
Dave directed from his spot in the bed. You did as he said. You propped yourself up on your elbows and squeezed both her plush breasts, pushing them together and sucking her pebbled little peak. She sighed and you licked over to the other to give it the same treatment, licking, sucking, swirling your tongue over the point. You flexed your fingers, dimpling her flesh. Her sighs became whines, and she began to roll her hips beneath you. You were lost in her warmth, her sweet scent.
“Stop. That’s enough. You’re both wet, probably soaking my sheets. Think you can make her come now?”
He hands you a smooth purple vibrator, and presses a button to bring it to life, buzzing in your hands.
Dave shuffled on the bed for a better view as you drew the toy across Em’ mound, making her buck her hips.
“Look at her body begging for it,” he admired. “Lower.”
You caressed her slick lips, twisting the toy over her slit teasingly, not pressing, just letting her feel the weight. Em groaned and twisted Dave’s sheets in her fists.
“Touch your tits, pretty girl,” you cooed to her “let’s show him how good you can be.”
She did as you said, delicately skating her fingers around her nipples as you clicked the button to kick the vibe to a higher setting.
Dave held your hips with his big, warm hands as he watched you glide his toy through her folds. You drew it from where she dripped and up over her clit, making several slow passes, before pushing it inside, eased by her arousal. She gasped and pinched at her nipples as you fucked her on the toy. She chased the sensation, needy and unashamed of her desperation to come for you and for Dave.
You wanted so badly to please him.
His breath was warm on your neck, it made your nipples tighten and your pussy throb to be his plaything. You pressed the buzzing tip of the vibrator to her clit and plunged two fingers inside, pumping them deep. In moments she was undone, squeezing your fingers, bucking her hips, rasping your name, but her eyes were on him.
While you were making her come on your hand, he was exploring your body with his hands, feeling the weight of your breasts, caressing over your stomach, testing the wetness of your slick and dripping center. He coated his fingers in your wetness and brought them to your nipples, teasing the tender points before bringing his fingers to your mouth, letting you suck his three slippery fingers clean.
When Em’s moans died down to soft panting, he took the vibrator and tossed it aside.
“That’s enough,” he declared, turning you and arranging you between her legs. He pushed you against her, you felt the heat of her soft body against you, her arms circling you to pluck at your nipples and push your tits together, kneading and squeezing them for Dave to enjoy.
He watched a moment, shoving his boxers back down his thighs to stroke his cock, dark eyes moving from your tits to your shiny slick pussy, to her lips kissing your shoulder and neck.
“The two of you were made for this, weren’t you? Just two little sluts waiting for a man who knew what to do with you.”
You both nodded and turned your heads to kiss each other, letting your tongues tease at each other.
Dave pushed your legs up and apart, spreading you wide, exposing you. He made Em hold you open, her hands under your knees like he showed her.
The three of you moved against each other, with you sandwiched between them, Dave driving into you, slowly at first so you could feel every bit of the sting and stretch as he entered. He was thick and pulsing inside you, seated deep and snug, you needed him to move.
He drew back slowly, and you anticipated the returning thrust, but he didn’t stop. He pulled out and ground his wet cock against your swollen, sensitive folds, the thick head of him nudging at your clit, then suddenly piercing you again, sawing in and out.
He set a punishing pace, slamming into you deep and hard, with one hand on the back of your thigh, and the other on Em’s shoulder, holding her just where the column of her neck sloped down, and felt the rapid beat of her pulse under his hand as you keened pathetically.
The angle of his hips let you feel the rough scratch of the trimmed hair at the base of his cock against your swollen clit. Your orgasm burst, sparking and hot, rippling through your body and his.
“Fuck,” he sneered, teeth bared. “Oh fuck, yes, little whore pussy wants my come.”
He pulled out of you suddenly, leaving you fluttering around nothing as you came down, and quickly repositioned to take his wet cock in his fist and aim the warm ropes of milky spend across your face.
Cum covered your lips, your nose, your cheeks and chin. You tasted the mild, salty flavor on your tongue.
Dave watched with satisfaction at his work, and Em looked on in dazed awe. He looked between your faces. “Clean her up. Don't waste it.”
Em licked your cheek, timidly at first. You twisted to give her better access, and she dragged her soft tongue through Dave’s mess, spreading it, humming at the taste. She reached around your chest to hold your tits in her hands, squeezing them, playing with them as she licked the cooling semen from your face and kissed it into your mouth, sharing it with you for Dave’s enjoyment. When you were finally done, you turned to him, pleased with yourselves.
David showed you to his en-suite and you and Em cleaned yourselves up.
“That was…”
“Yeah.”
You giggled and whispered to each other, wiping your faces with Dave’s thick, soft washcloths. You patted down your fucked out hair, and left the apartment hand in hand, declining Dave’s offer of an Uber. With your shoes hooked on your fingers, you looked at your best friend.
“Want to get Taco Bell?”
#dave york fan fiction#dave york x f!reader#dave york x you#dave york smut#dave york x reader#dave york#pedro pascal characters#pedro pascal fandom#pedro pascal character fanfiction#pedro pascal smut#the equalizer#the equalizer 2#the equalizer fan fiction#dave york x female reader#Dave York x f reader x oc#Dave York murder daddy#murder daddy#smut#bat writes
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For the AU game, por favor.
Maybe this is like a freaky Friday type swap. Where Regina is the kind, bubbly and super sweet one and Cady is more calculated, cold and bitchy. Regina is a nerdy teacher and Cady has the more cutthroat career in the industry of your choosing.
For this ask game!!
Regina, the sweet, geeky, and still insanely hot high school english teacher, enjoys reading shitty romance novels in her free time. She makes little editing marks in them, because she just can't help it. Cady finds them when they're early on in their relationship, calls her a nerd, and kisses the hell out of her. Regina kisses her back, but then spends the rest of the night justifying her corrections and explaining to Cady how the story could've been improved with simple edits. Cady listens with rapt attention and gives her lots of kisses in between each of Regina's very valid points.
Cady brings Regina to networking event and is surprised by Regina's confidence, and her knowledge of Cady's field. Regina admits that she spent a little time in college working on a finance degree before she stopped thinking about what others wanted for her and chose her own path instead. She completely charms at least three clients that Cady previously hadn't made any headway with, and Cady makes a mental note that Regina is never to be underestimated. She thanks her profusely in exactly the way you think.
There's a chronically ill student that was in Regina's AP Lit class last year, but they've had to quit attending school for health reasons. Regina goes to see them every week, for several hours, despite the fact that she's not currently one of their teachers and she's not getting paid. When Cady asks about it, Regina explains about the bus. About her own experience with homebound schooling during her junior year. About Mrs. Norbury, a teacher who made all the difference for Regina herself. Cady buys lots of sweet treats for Regina to take with her and share. (For this AU, I'd say Cadina met in their mid 20s).
Cady surprises Regina with lunch one day, and the kids are... intrigued. Mrs. Heron is a lesbian? (I just decided Cadina is married oops.) They ask questions about Cady all day once she leaves, and Regina promises to get her to come for the career day panel, or something.
Regina is the best dressed high school teacher ever. She owns several pantsuits, and she has an impressive sneaker collection. Even when she's coaching basketball, she dresses like a star. Cady dresses like a finance bro (khaki joggers on her off days😷) until Regina saves her.
Thanks so much for the ask!!
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did not feel like paying a sixty dollar cab home or sitting under harsh metro lights last night. i went home with a random guy at the bar instead. i have sucked cock for less than a cozy bed and mineral water. very classic finance dude bro venture capitalist analyst blah blah. hopelessly unfunny and nouveau riche but almost charming in his entitlement.
he walked me to his home, guiding me with his hand wrapped around the back of my neck, as I drunkenly stumbled down cobblestones. no offerings of a night cap or tour, we headed straight into his bedroom where he told me to strip. a beautiful crossing of the threshold, a very exciting prospect. it always does feel like second nature to kneel in front of someone and nuzzle into their thighs.
dear reader, i was teeming with excitement, with neediness and yearning and desperation. he couldn’t get hard! i always forget that these types love cocaine almost as much as they love pussy. still i kept my mouth firmly on his flaccid penis, bobbing and tongue swirling and drooling and eyelash batting. no dice. we laid in bed as he put on a sleep eye mask and murmured about an 8am meeting in the office.
the night does not feel like a total bust, my body is warm and fuzzy. I touch myself under the sheets while the venture capitalist sleeps. pulling and pinching and prodding and rubbing. i can’t cum and fall asleep. i dream of the regular things: playing in soft meadows with puppy dogs, showing up to work pants less, clown college. I come out of my dreams in a fog feeling pressure on my body. the sun is peaking ever so soft through the blinds.
the venture capitalist is holding me from behind, his cock just an inch or two inside me gently rocking. I try to rock back just a bit, in a way that seems natural and still allows me to feign sleep. I assume it both frightens and emboldens him. he has slipped fully inside but rocks even slower. it feels almost like being cradled and i inevitably drift back to sleep.
when i finally wake up, the apartment is empty and my phone is dead. it is so fascinating how much trust is given to pretty girls. I walk to his bathroom, still naked, to snoop and to pee. I find a bottle of ativan and pop one of the little pentagons. between my legs there is the unmistakable smell and residue of dried semen. it makes me laugh, perhaps too loud, in the bathroom. I don’t bother to clean it up but do swish some mouthwash and clean up any mascara under my eyes. i leave a note that says ‘thanks!’ on the kitchen island, no name or number, and walk to the train.
#this technically happened on Monday night but I kept forgetting to blog about it!!!#i’m a blogger baby!!!!#cnc somno#terrible when single men have money the homes are always terribly decorated
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Hiiii lemon 👋🏻
I was trying to make an oc for Cersei and Jamie and talked about it with a couple friends to bounce ideas with and they all had the same thing to say "you really think Cersei would love someone!? she literally killed Melara for daydreaming about Jamie..." And this kinda made me a bit...
Anywayyyyy personally I think yes Cersei can be delusional, heartless... But that's part of her charm !!! And really people would not be as harsh on her if she was a man.
Like imagine a boy killing his bestie over liking his sister/lover... People would call that a romantic gesture lol.
Which is why I'm here to ask what would you personally do if you were making Cersei/Jamie a female love interest.
Hi, anon! There's quite a lot to unpack in your message. Cersei and Jaime could have the potential to love other people. But certainly their insular upbringing and dysfunctional family made them overly reliant on each other to the point of co-dependency. So I think that if you want to create realistic OCs for them, you should give them traits that tend to their greatest needs or inadequacies.
For Cersei, it's perhaps more easily identifiable the kind of husband who could make her happy - it's basically who she imagines Rhaegar to be. A noble, handsome, gallant young man who would be devoted to her, treat her kindly and involve her in his daily political dealings. Both Cersei and Jaime struggle with gender roles. Cersei wants to be considered a leader and valued for something other than her reproductive abilities, she wants to be respected and not discarded the replaced the minute her body becomes "irrelevant". So power-sharing with a husband who values her personhood and intelligence would help to heal her accumulated trauma. What Cersei yearns for in a partner is not so different than what any woman would wish for herself.
With Jaime, it's more complicated, because you somehow how to prevent him from joining the Kingsguard. Because 1. he would not be able to have a functional relationship when his vows are in direct contradiction and 2. if Cersei is still Queen somehow in this AU, he'd only be miserably sniffing around her skirts, entangling himself in her business, getting inevitably jealous and miserable and keeping her from taking her marriage seriously. Other than that, Jaime has no true interest in politics and he bores easily, so an ideal wife for him would be one with good social and administrative skills, who could handle the tasks Jaime would consider tedious in his position as (eventual) ruler of Casterly Rock. He also has a quick with and is quite funny, so I think he couldn't be truly content if his wife didn't share those qualities. So, IDK, some combination between Sansa and Aunt Genna. :))
Ultimately, I think they could really only reach a true level of contentment if their spouses help them fulfill their societal roles. They're too entrenched in their identities as Lannisters to ever run off to the Free Cities and do whatever and too comfortable to renounce all privileges and live the lives of regular peasants or merchants. Feudalism offers few opportunities that provide safety and comfort; they can't exactly became finance bros or get a job at the business factory to support themselves or engage in some other bullshit activity that's little work and high reward, so staying in the socio-economic sphere of their rich family is their best bet.
Cersei has this fantasy of swords and mail, but she wouldn't have been happy as a knight, with the pushback that comes with true non-conformity. Equally, Jaimie already did what he wanted and eschewed his role as heir, but life as a perpetual knight doesn't seem to bring him satisfaction either. They're not revolutionaries out to dismantle the status-quo and campaign for change, but, in the absence of that, society is not going to just simply accommodate their idiosyncrasies just because it's them. And they don't really like it either when they find out the world doesn't bend around their wishes! (affectionate)
#unsure if you were referring to a female love interest for cersei too#she does have that thing with taena going on#but it's such a mindfuck with her that it's hard to figure out#whether she's truly bisexual bc she keeps thinking of fucking taena like robert did with her#so there's some attempt of reclaiming trauma there by passing it on to someone else? which is v....unhealthy to say the least#ask#anon#cersei lannister#jaime lannister
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omg!! which girl do you identify with the most?? what are your opinions on the men (mainly big, but also interested to hear about the other men)? what are your opinionsssss i just finished it for the first time and i'm obsessed
Back when I first watched it I thought Samantha. As I’ve got older definitely more Charlotte. I would say I’m still a mix of the two. I’m a traditionalist like Charlotte but I’m more like Samantha in terms of my humour and lack of filter 😂
When I watched the series the first time I loved Big. Rich, charming, way too old for me - just my type. I am embarrassed looking back. I mean he’s just…Peter Pan. He’s Nate Archibald, a finance bro…he’s The ultimate situationship. He’s every guy who despite their narcissistic sense of self importance knows they aren’t worthy of the women they want (the Natashas of the world) but they try anyway. But those women don’t worship them enough, they don’t make him feel special because she’s the equal he asked for but in reality can’t handle. Those women force him to own up to his own irrelevance, they make him realise he’s not actually Patrick Bateman, he’s just a guy. And that feeling of inadequacy leads them to settle for the girls like Carrie who give them that adoration they crave. Except the Carries aren’t what they really want or what their narcissistic mind tells them they deserve, so they punish them with poor treatment, and keep trying ensnare the Natashas but can’t live up to the men they pretend to be so they hurt the Natashas too and return to the Carries out of self loathing. Let me tell you, there’s Bigs everywhere. And they’re small. They’re the smallest men who ever lived.
Aiden was just a Carrie to Carrie. The thing she settled for when she need to feel special because Big took all the power away from her. Insecure and a doormat. Hate him.
Harry is THE MVP like the way this man just absolutely killed it at every turn I cannot 😭😭😭
Steve was the perfect guy for someone, but not Miranda imo. Genuinely good guy and she didn’t deserve him. She resented everything about him. She liked the little things about him and not the big things and that’s really sweet when you’re 19 but I don’t know how you build a marriage off the fact that you like his quirks. Idk I did not get their opposites attract thing at all.
I feel like both Samantha and Carrie had too many seasonal guys to remember. I do remember Burger though and all I can say is that Burger was Carrie’s karma. He was her taste of the tortured artist crap she made everyone else endure the whole time. That needy emotional disregualtion was what everyone in her life put up with and that was her comeuppance.
Oh and the Russian. The Russian. I can’t even…that man did not feel real to me. He honestly feels like a fever dream. He was the only long term character that felt so incredibly fictional to me. There were traces of things I recognise, but the most real thing about him was the way Carrie changed around him. That was like…almost dark to witness. Because haven’t we all seen that happen? A friend hooks up with someone markedly more mature or sophisticated than them and their whole essence seems to dull. I didn’t even like Carrie’s essence but the way that man sucked it out of her was palpable. But like…why was he so weird? Why did he behave like that? He was just so…dry? But also a wet blanket? But also just someone who did not have the charm to act like he did. Like I LOVE an old rich man and even I would not have dated that guy he was so icky.
That show was such a moment in time though. I sort of wish we had something like that for the modern era but also don’t because you can’t make shows that authentic and simultaneously unrealistic anymore.
It’s such a trip to watch in the digital age though 😂
I popped off a bit here hope you don’t mind
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Sada Vang || 50 || #308 || Lucy Liu || Closed
Personality:
Sada Vang could be called a sociopath. She cares little for other people, gives little thought to their thoughts or feelings outside of how it impacts her or how she can use it to her advantage. She can be charming and disarming when it suits her, but she also has no qualms in stabbing someone in the back and stepping on their corpse with her designer boots to get what she wants. She has no qualms with hurting others if it serves her in some way, and is not at all squeamish when it comes to 'getting people out of her way'.
Biography:
Born to a drug addicted mother in New York, Sada was abandoned from the moment she was birthed as her mother left the hospital without warning a day after, never to be seen again. Born addicted to the same drugs as her mother and with a name given by one of the nurses who'd delivered her and a government employee, Sada Vang entered life straight into the system. From the get go it was noted by her foster families that even as an infant she rarely cried, and by the time she was a toddler they were noting her lack of affection, disregard for other's feelings, and a tendency to hurt the other children in the homes.
By the time she was ten she'd been in twice as many homes as years to her name, and by sixteen she'd walked away from the system altogether. Spending a year on the street, she eventually managed to procure a fake ID and a job in one of the more prestigious gentleman's clubs in the city. With her boundless confidence and easy handle on her sexuality and sex appeal, Sada rose quickly in ranks among the dancers, earning top dollar on the side through trysts, affairs, and a hint of blackmail with the city's affluent men. By her eighteenth birthday money was no longer problem, but as a gift, the owner of the club brought her in on his 'back door' enterprise.
Thriving as much in handling the back of forth of drugs through the club as she did dancing in it, her reputation became an open secret among the city's wealthiest. On her twenty-first birthday she semi-retired from dancing, instead managing the club and it's less legal operations with the occasional performance for shits and giggles and special occasions. For her thirtieth birthday, the club's owner decided to retire himself, being bought out by his now partner, Sada. Twenty years later and Eden's Garden remains by far the top Gentleman's club for the 1%, and a hefty percentage of the drugs coming into the city passed through her. Ridiculously wealthy in her own right, no one could ever say that Sada Vang wasn't a success story.
The day of the outbreak, the club was empty preparing for Sada's massive 50th birthday blow out, and she'd been in making sure everything was exactly the way she wanted it. For a long time she wasn't even aware anything was going on until her former employer called to tell her to get home. By that time it was too late and just opening the door had brought an attack down on her, one laid to rest with the heel of a well placed stiletto through the temple of a snarling finance bro. Locking herself inside, that's where she stayed with enough food, alcohol, and drugs to keep her occupied until the power finally cut. Seemed it was time to finally start the trek back to The Wexley and the comfort of her waiting loft with a duffle bag of 'supplies'.
Pre Outbreak Occupation: Strip Club Owner/ Drug Dealer Previous Zombie Experience: Killing multiple zombies on her way to The Wexley from her club Eden's Garden. Martial Status: Single Children: NA Residence: Loft #1003 Years residing at The Wexley: 15 Years Connections:
Rhiannon Wells - Former 'Employee'
Jeremiah Rose - Employee
JP Rose - Employee
Ashton Ryder - Ugly, meddling, pain in the ass
Zach Sanders - Acquaintance
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your fics have turned my brain into mush finnie. i was thinking last night how i'm like, the furthest thing from someone that would be matched with ozzie depite my huge crush - i'm a shy hermit woman working towards a career in domestic violence services, i'm very sensitive (let's be honest i'm a crybaby), and wear unassuming clothes because i don't make enough for the wardrobe i'd like to have.
but then i had a dream that ozzie somehow was charmed by me after my friends dragged me out of my crazy workload, and since i'm humble to a fault and try to refuse gifts, the DV shelter i spend my time at mysteriously began receiving tons of donations bc if he can't spoil me traditionally he can show his love by spoiling a place i care about... i have brainrot level 1 million bro 😭
(baby ok me too i doubt he'd want some nasty lookin little gremlin like me and also i know he'd be into a thick girl but specifically not the type of thick i am and also i am a hassle and a pain in the ass so you're definitely above me in the list regardless my sweet but also who cares it's our fantasy! 💚)
ANYWAY this is the nicest thing ever ;-; can you even imagine, he seems like exactly the type of boy who would do that, this old man hiring women and protecting them with workplace benefits, taking on men who have had a shit time and letting them learn a skill like bartending or finance or secretarial work i dunno I AM RAMBLING
but i can see him donating a lot of money to a lot of causes, secretly, because no one needs to know he's soft. offering you gifts, being so hurt when you refuse them, thinking it's your way of rejecting him politely like "don't spend your money on me i'm not interested" and deciding that yeah, you might not be interested in him, but you still deserve something nice. so he funds the whole place, funds permanent staff, security, high quality everything not just the bare minimum quality. and never ever admits that it was him 🐧💜
the brainrot is ridiculous honestly if i don't fuck that old man, and i obviously won't, i am going to SCREAM EVERY DAY
#i already do scream every day but mostly just for fun#this time it's personal >:(#friends being friends#anon
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The Hargreaves family
Patriarch: Howard Hargreaves - fc: Jeff Bridges (NPC)
Texan
Charming
Ruthless
Unscrupulous
Hot temper
Womanizer
Straight
First ex wife: Tatiana Balakirev - fc: Michelle Pfeiffer (NPC)
Russian
Cold
Former model
Loyal
Still gets along with Howard who supports her luxurious lifestyle
Straight
Current wife: Eleanor Heargreaves née Davenport - fc: Cate Blanchett
Born in Georgia
Callous
Vindictive
Fashion designer
Charming
Tough
Resourceful
Bisexual
First son: Bradford ‘Brad’ Hargreaves - FC: Travis Fimmel
Son of Tatiana
Common sense
Slow pace and chill
Ranch life but still acts rich and takes advantage of his privileges
Hates the city
Cornell University’s College of Agriculture and Life Sciences
Straight
Twins:
Oldest twin: Huxley Hargreaves - fc: Boyd Holbrook
Son of Tatiana
Cocky
Smart
Harvard Business School
Rebel
Finance bro/Wolf of Wall Street
Drugs
Party
Closeted bisexual
Youngest twin: Margaret Hargreaves - fc: Evan Rachel Wood
Daughter of Tatiana
Republican senator
Ruthless
Cerebral
Pragmatic
Harvard Kennedy School
Bisexual
Fourth son: Royce Hargreaves - fc: Michiel Huisman
Son of Eleanor (she got pregnant when Howard was still married to Tatiana)
Yale Law School
Player
Trickster
Charming
Lobbyist
Bisexual
Fifth daughter: Eliza Hargreaves - fc: Margot Robbie
Daughter of Eleanor
Cunning
Self centered
Ambitious
Yale University
Daddy’s girl
PR Consultant
Bisexual
#family inspo: the hargreaves#someone has been watching succession and it shows#asdjhaksjdhaksjdh#anywayssssssssss here's a bunch of horrible people#hmu if you are interested :)
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Eryiss Fanfiction: 2022 - Present
2017 - 2021 Fanfics
Multi Chapters & Long Shots
The Liar Prince Of Fiore (Freed x Laxus) - Ongoing
Laxus knew Freed better than anyone else, but everyone had secrets. With Freed's secrets laid bare. his past life of royalty, titles and expectations come back to haunt him. Laxus makes a promise to protect him. For as long as necessary, he will play the role of Freed's husband. It might have been easy, if Laxus didn't wish so much for their lie to be true. [Canon Divergent AU | Ongoing]
Capture The Moment (Freed x Laxus) - 5/4/2022
Struggling with his college finances, Freed takes a job as the wrestling team's social media operator. It would be an easy job, if it weren't for the hot, cocky, spandex clad wrestling captain. Laxus Dreyar turns Freed's live upside-down, and Freed doesn't mind at all. [Modern College AU | Complete | 54k Words]
One Shots SFW
Thoughts On A Guillotine (Freed Centric) - 17/11/2022
Freed would do anything to complete a mission, including letting himself be captured and tortured if it could get him the intel he needed. But that doesn't mean he has no limits. When pushed to them by a group of slave traders, Freed reveals just how twisted his own mind can be. [Canon Divergent | 3.5k Words]
Tell Me Lies (Freed x Laxus) - 5/11/2022
Laxus returns to the guild to find Freed under the influence of a truth spell, which forces him to answer all questions truthfully and as fully as he can. Laxus takes it upon himself to help Freed navigate the potential embarrassment the spell can cause, but his own crush on Freed and a slip of the tongue might change their relationship forever. [Canon Divergent | 5k Words]
Captains Don't Kiss (Freed x Laxus) - 21/7/2022
An uneasy alliance between pirates. A common enemy. A silent agreement not to talk about what happens at night. Freed and Laxus are in an unfamiliar situation, but can they survive it together? [Fraxus Week 2022 | Pirate AU | 5.7k Words] Gold, In Triplicate (Freed x Laxus) - 20/7/2022
High off his Olympic victory, Laxus wakes up in his dorm with the hazy memory of a man by his side. He consigned it to the past, but twitter had other ideas. [Fraxus Week 2022 | Olympic AU | 4.1k Words]
False Love's Kiss (Freed x Laxus) - 19/7/2022
Playing the lead roles in Broadway's Beauty & The Beast wasn't Laxus' idea. Neither was all the practice kissing. And that's all it was. Practice. Right? [Fraxus Week 2022 | Theatre AU | 5.5k Words]
The Perils Of Matchmaking (Freed x Laxus) - 18/7/2022
Freed knew he and Laxus couldn't last, and he was meant to marry someone else. But, at his engagement party, he realises the mistake he's made. But is it too late? [Fraxus Week 2022 | Medieval AU | 5.6k Words] The Demon's In The Detail (Freed x Laxus) - 17/7/2022
Ivan Dreyar needed to die, and Laxus was going to make it happen, even if he needed to sell his soul to an annoyingly charming demon to do it. [Fraxus Week 2022 | Occult AU | 5.1k Words]
Bromance In The Blackout (Freed x Laxus) - 16/7/2022
Freed and Laxus were friends. Platonic. Bros. At least that's what they used to be, before they got trapped in the library together. [Fraxus Week 2022 | High School AU | 3.5k Words]
Not Enough Time In The World (Freed x Laxus) - 15/7/2022
Freed's job is to travel through time, stopping people from disrupting the timeline. It was fun work, until he met a renegade chasing him through time. A renegade named Laxus Dreyar. [Fraxus Week 2022 | Time Travel AU | 7.7k Words]
A Certain Kind Of Sense (Freed x Mard Geer) - 6/2/2022
The Raijinshuu didn’t really understand Freed's relationship with Mard Geer. It just didn’t make sense. But Freed seemed happy, so they should just accept it. What they absolutely not do was spy on them. So of course, that’s what they all do. [Canon Divergent | 3.5k words]
Two Types Of Lovers (Freed x Gray | Bickslow x Natsu) - 21/1/2022
Natsu and Bickslow hooked up on their first night together, and found an instant connection in each others' beds. Freed and Gray took things slower, with gentle kisses and stolen glances. Two couples with different dynamic, enjoying each other's bodies on the same night. [Modern AU | Word Count 4k]
Two Types Of Dates (Freed x Gray | Bickslow x Natsu) - 19/1/2022
Long distance relationships can be hard, but they're making it work. With Freed visiting Gray and Natsu visiting Bickslow, the two new couples have plans to catch up with what they've missed and make the best of their time together. [Modern AU | Word Count 2.9k]
King Of His Fantasies (Freed x Mard Geer) - 15/1/2022
In moments like this, Freed put himself in the mercy of Mard Geer. The demon took his pleasures and Freed did as he was told. But this was the first time Freed had followed his master's demands outside of their shared dreams. Surrounded by mirrors, with toys and demands to keep him obedient, Freed will do as he is told. No matter what. [Canon Divergent | Word Count 3.5k]
King Of His Nightmares (Freed x Mard Geer) - 12/1/2022
Freed was a pragmatic man, so ending up with the demon king Mard-Geer Tartarus went against his nature. Even that ignored the fact Mard lived only in Freed's mind, that Freed was falling for Mard, and that he had no idea how Mard felt about him. A list of problems, without an obvious solution. Fate, it seemed, had a violent and terrifying answer to set Freed's mind at ease. [Canon Divergent | 3.5k]
Keeping Promises (Freed x Laxus) - 7/1/2022
When he returned from excommunication, Laxus made a promise to always help those he cared for. So when Freed returned to the guild half dead, Laxus was the one to help him recover, even if there had been a distance between them recently. But with things to say, apologies to make, and attraction to contend with, maybe being Freed's carer is exactly what Laxus needs. [Canon Divergent | 9.5k Words]
Dealing With Something New (Freed x Gajeel | Evergreen x Levy | Bickslow x Gildarts) - 5/1/202
In a quiet moment, Gajeel and Freed see each other in a way they'd never considered before. Attraction hits them with sudden fury, and both men don't know what to do. So, what else can be done but going to their friends? And, their friends' unexpected partners, apparently. [Canon Divergent | Thunder Legion Rare Pair Week | 4.5k Words]
A Public Celebration (Freed x Natsu) - 4/1/2022
Professional footballers Natsu and Freed have been dating in secret for months. When they win the championship match, Natsu is filled with an overwhelming energy and desire to kiss his boyfriend in front of the camera, the crowd, and and world. And he's not exactly known for impulse control, is he? [Modern AU | Thunder Legion Rare Pair Week | 1.5K Words]
Love Of The Zodiac (Freed x Loke) - 3/1/2022
Loke and Freed had been dating for a while when Loke stumbled on the paper. Freed had been seeing how he conformed to Leo traits? How cute. And what a perfect opportunity to see what Zodiac traits his darling Prince had. And, maybe confess his love as well. Who knows? [Canon Divergent | Thunder Legion Rare Pair Week | 2.5k Words]
Hypnosis & Bubbles (Freed x Lyon) - 2/1/2022
In the circus, gossip is wild. So when Lyon maybe fell in love with Freed at first sight, he knew people would start interfering and trying to get them together. But, what he didn't know was that it wouldn't matter, because he could handle things himself. [Modern AU | Thunder Legion Rare Pair Week | 2.5k Words]
Sleep Makes For Secrets (Freed x Mystogan) - 1/1/2022
Mystogan made an effort not to make an impact on the people of Earthland, and as such couldn’t take not of anyone. But now, each time he enters the guild, he sees a beautiful man with green hair, and he can’t seem to forget him. [Canon Divergent | Thunder Legion Rare Pair Week | 4.2k Words]
One Shots NSFW
Online, On Cam, On All Fours (Freed x Laxus) - 25/6/2022
Freed became a camboy to get himself through college, but his online fame blew up and he grew to love it. The only issue was his boyfriend of two months didn't know. Not until he walked in on Freed on all fours, mid show, dressed in a playboy bunny costume. Needless to say, Freed didn't need to worry about Laxus' reaction. Not at all. [College AU | NSFW | 4.6k Words]
Call Me Master (Freed x Laxus) - 12/2/2022
Laxus has taken to his role as guildmaster well, but there's one more thing he needs. Freed has yet to call him Master. But he'll change that; and if it takes teasing, a firm hand, and just a little humiliation, then so be it. [Canon Divergent | 2.2k Words]
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Movie Review | Sanctimony (Boll, 2000)
Casper Van Dien's limitations as an actor I found a liability in his best known role in Starship Troopers. That movie was supposed to implicate us in its satire, and his woodenness meant that we could never quite identify with him. But here I think that quality works. This character is a sociopath, he's not all there, and Van Dien's woodenness, especially in his badly acted interrogation scene, plays into that. I'm not crazy enough to suggest that Uwe Boll is a better director than Paul Verhoeven, but I do think he makes better use of this one specific actor.
Van Dien is a trader who kills people for some mix of thrills and contempt for society, and he's contrasted with a working class cop played by Michael Pare, who basically fails to keep up with Van Dien until the latter starts shooting people on live TV. I won't pretend Boll is a great progressive filmmaker, but to his credit he does present both actors as objects of desire, Van Dien's body pored over with admiration in his racier scenes, and Pare being thirsted over during a nude photoshoot. (You see buttcrack but no hog.) Unfortunately, such enlightenment does not extend to the characterization of Jennifer Rubin as Pare's partner, who decides to use her feminine charm to trap Van Dien. Boll auteurists will also appreciate the presence of Eric Roberts, who plays his role as Pare's and Rubin's superior with little flash, although I suppose the guy has to be a bit quirky if he's gonna assign the two worst cops in the force to a high profile serial murder case.
Boll auteurists will also appreciate that he exercises his stylistic muscles more than usual here. There's a bit of Natural Born Killers inspired sensory overload, a pretty stylish scene at a shooting range (including a shot through a bullethole in a paper target and gunshot-punctuated editing), and a particularly tasty sequence where Pare navigates the labyrinthine basement of a club while enveloped in red and blue lighting and hissing steam, which plays like the dipshit Y2K equivalent of the creepy corridor scenes I love from classic gothic horror movies. This basement belongs to a club where they have some kind of bushido cage match for the enjoyment of the regular patrons and evil Germans making a BDSM snuff video underneath. Where is this club? So I can never visit it, of course.
Boll's weird blocking pops up too, to sometimes effective results. Van Dien's work setup is not a conventional trade floor, but a villainous lair that makes him look like an evil receptionist, where he takes videocalls resembling FMV games. He visits his favourite restaurant and seemingly gets the table right in the middle, which evokes the insularity of the circles he travels in. (There's another restaurant he visits that has a giant aquarium, and were I of his status, I would visit that one way more often because it looks way cooler.) Less sinister is a scene where Pare scrambles out of a crime scene like a Keystone Kop in the background while Van Dien in his car in the foreground makes an angry phone call that begins with "Do not sell, motherfucker!" and ends with "Now go pick up my dry cleaning."
I do think this movie suffers by not leaning hard enough into its premise. Van Dien doesn't get to kill nearly as often as you'd hope, and his rants are textureless "We live in a society" BS rather than the kind of "Get a job!" stuff you'd expect from a finance bro, so whatever societal rot he was hoping to explore through these acts of violence doesn't land. (Given the scene here with a trap, I do wonder if this stuff would have landed more had Boll made this a few years later in the context of both the torture porn era and the financial crisis.) That being said, if you're in the tank for the guy, there's enough good stuff here that this probably lands near the top of his filmography.
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Potential Keeper? This Heartthrob Only Gets Physical When You Criticize His Crypto Spending Habits
IRVING, TEXAS - In today’s fast paced world of romance, it can be hard to find a partner who fits all the boxes: charming, fit emotionally available… and deep in decentralized debt. But for one lucky woman, it looks like she’s struck gold—or at least Bitcoin.
Meet Blake “BitBoy” Finnegan, the ultimate crypto bro next door. He’s got it all: a six pack formed from hours of pressing the “HODL” mindset, endless charisma, and a Dogecoin tattoo that’s 50% ironic. Blake seems to be perfect—until you mention his $2,000 investment in Hoo Ha Coin that “hasn’t panned out yet.”
“He’s the man of every woman’s dreams,” said Jessica Spence, 29, Blake’s on-again, off-again girlfriend. “While most men are manipulative pigs who abuse their woman any chance they get, my man only gets physical when you ask why he’s maxed out his credit card on NFTs of pixelated armchairs. He’s literally Prince Charming.”
Jessica first met Blake at a local smoothie bar where he saw him wearing a T-Shirt that read “I Only Date Bulls”. It was love at first sight, at least until she found out that “bulls” referred to rising stock markets and not his alleged “interest in investing in our future”.
“He’s so attentive,” Jessica gushed, “as long as you’re asking him about blockchain technology. The second I ask him if we can go out for a real dinner instead of ordering 20 wings that we order in Bitcoin, then things get… Personal.”
Sources close to the couple have confirmed that Blake’s emotions remain stable unless you dare criticize his crypto holdings. According to Jessica’s roommate, Becky, Blake once threatened to set their entire apartment on fire when someone questioned whether Web3 would “really take off”.
“He keeps on assuring everyone that the markets going to explode and we’re all going to make it rich,” Becky said. “But it’s hard to take him seriously when all of his life savings are invested in a coin literally called MoonToad.”
To outsiders, Blake’s behavior might sound extreme, but according to him, it’s all about balance. “People just don’t get it,” Blake explained during an interview conducted with the Misinformer while he bench pressed his vintage Ethereum T-Shirt collection.
“Crypto just isn’t any ole’ currency, man. It’s life. It’s energy. It’s like, if your partner can’t respect the pump—financially and physically speaking—then how can you two build generational wealth together?” Jessica admits that despite Blake’s obsession with decentralized finance, he still knows how to sweep her off her feet—usually after he’s finished an hour long rant about why the Metaverse is the future of intimacy.
“I’ll never forget the first time he showed me his wallet,” she recalled, with stars in her eyes. “It was digital, of course, but when he said ‘this NFT represents our bond,’ I couldn’t help but swoon.” While some might question the long term viability of their relationship—especially as Bitcoin prices continue to fluctuate—Jessica still remains optimistic.
“Sure, I wish he’d spend more time talking to me than to his crypto bros in his Discord server,” she said, “but love is all about compromise. And as long as I don’t tell him to sell his CryptoKitties, then we’ll be just fine.”
Still, with Blake’s holdings in crypto fluctuating faster than his heart rate during a deadlift, only time will tell if this romantic fairytale will make it to the moon—or crash right back to Earth.
Until then, Jessica remains hopeful. After all, in a world full of risks, sometimes you just have to invest in who you feel like is the right person… even if their biggest attraction is some virtual coin that nobody has ever even heard or seen of.
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THE EVIL ANGELICALS
So, who’s been supplying the missiles to Palestine? They can’t all be home made…who funds the fundamentals? Iran and Syria with some Arbian cash…supported with a smile by Russia with a view not only for destabilisation but to focus attention away from its invasion of Ukraine. America and any allies Israel has left will need to be concentrating a vast amount of diplomatic energy, special forces and weaponry into avoiding a serious war in the alleged ‘holy’ lands. Slovakia, Poland and Hungary have steadily been becoming more reticent over support for Zelensky as the Kremlin works hard to undermine. Seeds all over Europe germinating to rise in grim blooms of far-right groups. Black humour dark as oil to see nationalists being manipulated so easily into serving their actual enemies. As always, follow the money.
Not isolated to Europe either…Brexit and Trump were strongly financed and encouraged as the collective dumbasses in the UK and the US wilfully sucked up the disinformation in the name of (don’t laugh) patriotism. Whipped up to distraction like moralising masochists over the ‘liberal woke’, transgender issues…with the tantalising promise of taking back their countries and making them wonderfully utopian by voting for greedy, venal power-hungry politicians paid by lobbyists, oligarchs and others connected with Moscow and Beijing.
To the point where their governments were and still are, going against the advice of their own scientists, diplomats and information services. Yeah sure, beware of deep state reptilians, covid vaccines activated by the 5g masts controlled by the Illuminati and the sneaky old Hebrews blah blah yada yada.
Dumbing down all the way has been firmly on the national curricula for quite a few decades and it all seems to be coming to a head where the West is ripe for take over. And we deserve it. Just a shame it has to be by the East rather than angelic aliens crossing dimensions of light. But that’s how it goes these days.
Bro down! Kim and Putin bestial buddies for life (and more likely Death). Looking like two cliched James Bond villains with guided tours of missile bases, nuclear bombers… weapons for the slaphead and technology for the fat Wrong Un. Military masturbation for the chuckle brothers in a substitute boner festival, because 19 months of using prisoners and pensioners as cannon fodder plus grinding losses have left the Kremlin Gremlin short of bullets. Charming to see such a pudgy North Korean greaseball whose people allegedly eat donkeys and grass while he gorges. (Not much future hope in his pale anorexic sister either.) Putin mentioned that Kim is ‘trying to develop space’. Well, he certainly takes up a lot of it. Love the way his terrified sycophants have to scribble down his golden words in notebooks to catch every fetid drop of wisdom. Perhaps he just has a very short-term memory.
Songun…is the North Korean policy of all tax money going to the military first… this means Dough Boy has plenty of stockpiles to share, as his direly undernourished population can always tighten their belts and starve harder. With regard to their chummy brotherhood, Kim said ‘I hope we will always be together in the fight against imperialism’. Hmm. Part of the definition of the word imperialism is ‘a policy of extending a country’s power and influence through use of military force.’
So, irony not at home in Wrong Un’s head. The workers really control the means of production over there, eh? All power in the hands of a few evil rich, (just the same as in imperialist capitalist democracies), not much actual communism. But then, there has never been much of that, just revolutions turning in cycles, as they do.
Russian schools are now teaching young children weapon skills…so as to be ready immediately to fight imaginary Nazis when they are called up at 16. And Russia wants to rejoin the United Nations Human Rights Council…as human rights is obviously an issue about Putin cares deeply.
‘The fact that we recognise the verbal level as internal-subjective and mistake the visual-tactile level for external-objective is the main cause of our frequent confusions, mistakes, bad judgements and repeated or dogmatic ‘wrong ideas’. Well said Robert. Give that man some Jameson and a joint of good weed,
Every person, sooner or later will experience a personal loss. A tragedy. Some can overcome and let go. Most of us will spend the rest of our lives carrying memories which cause us to drop into a spiralling void whenever we recall unbidden. Banishing rituals need to be performed within. It explains a great deal about the world, the mental burden of anguish we all shoulder. Perhaps when broken in pieces, we can better flow with the river. I have spent months now, over sensitised, looking to become functionally numb. And winter is coming.
Hibernate in a cave. Too much part of the story in reporting the facts, too emotionally unevolved, I couldn’t keep a professional distance, so I kept an amateur closeness. Too male, too English, in spite of everything I thought I’d learned. I was going to call this blog Empathy for the Devil but found there is a book with this name about helping you ‘Overcome Drug and Alcohol Problems’. Lol, as they say. My only problems in connection with these substances comes when I don’t have any immediately close to hand. Lol; eat her. Anyway, the devil never existed any more than did ‘God’. and ‘all energy flows according to the whims of the great magnet.’ HST.
(‘The resultant of all these repressions acting convexly from outside is experienced concavely from inside as the defined self; it has been defined by others.’)
Meanwhile, back in the home of the grave…with their oath keepers, proud boys and evil angelicals. Trump must not win. Should he do so, his first acts will be total revenge against all those hundreds he perceives as being enemies. He will seek to dismantle and rearrange the CIA and the FBI, the senate and the law courts. Followed by deals with Putin which will allow Ukraine to fall by withdrawing all American financial support from NATO in the name of peace.
Vlad will smile and talk of their great partnership while continuing to deal happily with China to further undermine the EU and the USA. Trump will meet with Kim again for another pointless red button dick measuring contest and also cement Netanyahu’s crushing of Palestine. (This paragraph was written in September.) Causing the Arab world (other than smiling Bin Salman who recognises pure greed and lust of power) to attack and attack and attack.
This will allow the non-Muslim world to rant about fundamentalism, share a created common enemy, start further wars to benefit the arms and oil industries, drive up prices, spread deepening global fear and causing Trump to do what any despot always does…i.e. change the laws to increase his terms in office and special powers. The massed ranks of evangelicals and ‘true patriots ‘will swell into Star Wars stormtrooper proportions in righteous fervent glee that their emperor messiah has come at last and America is finally great. Sorry, great again. Trump is a terrorist. There, it’s in writing.
At that tipping point, Putin and China will either allow the USA to fall apart under the massive weight of its colossal bullshit while trying to micromanage it not become a black hole…or by that time will have the technology to neuter America’s weapons technology from space. And the East will rule the world with an evil heart even worse than the West.
Hope I haven’t missed any negative bits. There is always the beautiful ‘random’ factor of chance. And Trump’s life is finite. Just continues to seem weird that in such a big and democratic country, the best candidates they can excrete upwards are an ancient man and a truly hateful orange scumbag. And the others. Sheesh.
Now the British (well, half German) Queen is dead, not sure Trump gives a toss about the plague ship UK and we can continue our downward spiral as America’s 51st state. Unsure who outside of Britain would give a toss if we were annihilated with clean fission weapons…other than the oligarchs who have well-appointed properties here. Irradiated real estate is hard to sell.
The old science fiction idea of the rich paying for tickets out of here to survive in space colonies or travel cryogenically frozen to a distant planet is also becoming ever more plausible. Egos unable to comprehend flesh being finite will demand their brilliant lives survive this burning, flooding, earthquaking world. Funny, as the majority of such types also refuse to believe in global warming, due to being stockholders in companies which vomit pollution.
Of course, the self-chosen ones will need a few hundred self-replicating proletariat slaves for manual labour. And we are back to Sumerian times. Anthropomorphic polytheism many gods in human form. Modern Moses the Egyptian comes down the mountain with a couple of Apple tablets. ARF.
Thirteen years of Tory misrule, I’m not a socialist but… Green Rishi ‘Long Term Decisions for a Brighter Future’ Sunak, backtracking and U turning on every single save-the-planet idea they had (due to the insurrection against ULEZ cameras because a handful of votes might be in it) is truly disgusting. The Conservatives, preserving the dysfunctional status quo, not quite as net zero as they might have led suckers to believe. Fossil fuels for fossilised hearts.
And Home Secretary Suella, a second-generation immigrant pulling up the drawbridge against an ‘invasion’ of the wrong sort of aliens, reminded me of an interview with a Pakistani gentleman over twenty years ago. He had come over in the seventies and opened up a newsagent and upon being asked what he thought the worst problems were in Britain, he immediately said ‘There are too many foreigners coming over here’. I felt the same way in Prague, far too many Brits and Yanks wanting to be musicians and teachers, go home scumbags. One likes to imagine one is individual and important compared to amateurs. Arf#2.
During the day, I write, do housecleaning, gardening and read books in silence. In the evenings, I switch off the machine with whisky and sound. Watch a good film or some comedy. Open and raw, peaceful as Zen then numb and enclosed but in a good mood to go to bed and enjoy my dreaming. 23 (wouldn’t you know it?) bits of writing have suddenly appeared within the last 5 weeks. Tiptoe the line between fine tuning and overthinking And it is finally time after five years, to take out my guitar…
HAPPY SAMHAIN/HALLOWEEN TO YOU, with Love
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