#finally finished this it's from like january | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

umbry-fic · 1 year ago

Text

new Paradise(memory = null);

Summary: She awakens from emptiness, and witnesses a God descend.

Fandom: Arcaea Characters: Hikari, Tairitsu Relationships: Hikari/Tairitsu Rating: T Word Count: 2603 Mirror Link: AO3 Original Post Date: 25/06/2023

Notes+Warnings: This is a canon divergence fic that contains spoilers for Final Verdict and Silent Answer! It's basically Silent Answer Ending A but two steps to the right. It's not a happy fic, and there is no happy ending here.

~~~

Awareness tugged at the threads of her mind, sluggishly pulling her from the empty void upon which she had floated - for how long, she did not know. Back into the world of the living, where she struggled to open heavy eyelids, a whisper echoing in her head, telling her that she had to wake up.

The world that met her was far too bright, a blinding white that seared itself onto the backs of her eyelids when she screwed her eyes shut instantly, wondering if she could sink back into blissfully quiet darkness.

An icy hand closed around her heart, sharp icicles digging into her flesh, refusing to let her slip away. The whisper had sharpened into a scream, one that she knew wouldn’t go away even if she clapped her hands over her ears - it had embedded itself deep in her mind, grating against its edges.

Continuously, as if stuck in an endless loop, it implored that there was something she had to do. Surely, she must exist for some purpose, and it was her responsibility to discover what it was.

But how could she ever do that when she couldn’t even recall her name, her mind a barren expanse that yielded nothing?

“You’re awake.” The words were muttered in a quiet voice that brushed against her skin, finally quieting the maelstrom within her head. In the silence that pressed upon her shoulders, she opened her eyes once more.

Who am I? was what she wished to ask. It was a sensible question that would give her one of the most critical puzzle pieces needed to fill in the gaps.

“Are you God?�� was what slipped from her instead, a girl with no name and no purpose, staring in awe at the figure looming over her.

What she had thought to be the sky revealed itself to be infinite panes of glass, rotating in place, their edges catching the light. They broke apart, gathering together to form flocks. Like birds, each with their own personalities - some skittish and skirting away, some daring and swooping through the air. All clearly under the command of the figure that was the centre of it all - a girl clad in elegant white, hair seeming to float around her knees, piercing pink eyes trained on her.

With but a single wave of the other girl’s gloved hand, all the glass seemed to lose their life, raining from the sky to fall like downed birds upon the ground below. A dizzying display of power that made her heart pound in her chest.

Something told her that if the other girl wanted, she could control this entire world - make it bend to her every whim, reshape it to her very image. Then wouldn’t it make sense for her to have created this physical form she now resided in? In the same manner that Prometheus had moulded men out of clay, before Athena had breathed the gift of life into them.

The other girl came closer, hands clasped serenely before her, her pink eyes boring into her own, sending shivers up her spine. Something lurked in their depths, something that she could not discern.

“No, I’m not.” She smiled sadly, kneeling next to her. A God, fallen from the Heavens, lowering herself to the level of mortals. Perfection, lovely in its magnificence, and equally as deadly. All that broke that image of perfection was a lone black ribbon, tied into a sloppy bunny-ear loop that drooped against the side of her dress. An anomaly that she so wished she could delve into and pull apart.

“My name is Hikari, and yours is Tairitsu.”

Every word that fell from Hikari’s lips pulled taut the invisible string that connected them, dragging her closer, close enough that perhaps they might become one. She could not help but swallow, her throat suddenly dry, utterly still as a hand cupped her cheek, stroking softly.

The spell broke when Hikari’s hand dropped to curl around her wrist, bidding her rise on wobbly legs. She rolled the name she’d been given around in her mouth, contemplating its shape. It seemed right, even if her memories were still but a blank, locked behind a door that her name did not unlock.

She gasped, as all of a sudden Hikari’s grip tightened, nails digging into her skin. Not waiting for her to start walking, the other girl stalked away, forcing her to stumble forward or suffer a painful fall.

“Let’s go.”

It was not a suggestion. It was a statement, a declaration of will that could not be shattered.

Without a word, Tairitsu followed.

~~~

Spending every moment with Hikari became her entire life. All that it was, and nothing more.

It was not a bad life to lead, not by any means. She was never alone, her and Hikari’s fingers interlocked as they wandered this strange world that was devoid of any life but their two flames, flickering lonelily.

They would sit on the edges of crumbling ruins together, staring out over emptiness, Hikari beckoning for her to rest her head in her lap. She would acquiesce, her eyes fluttering shut as a gentle hand ran through her hair.

Occasionally, Hikari would pull down a shard of glass and stretch it into a doorway, taking her hand and leading her through. Guiding her to explore memories of other worlds, bright colours that could never appear in their world of glass seeming to pop around every corner, vibrant and beautiful. Only in moments like these would the stiffness in Hikari’s shoulders fade away, the restraint that she always possessed fading away to reveal an excited child that could light up Tairitsu’s heart whenever she broke into a smile.

When night fell, they would lay next to each other on the ground, Hikari’s arm inevitably wrapping around her waist and holding her close, until she drifted away surrounded by warmth, quieting all the thoughts that swam in her head. Once morning broke, she would retie the ribbon on Hikari’s dress, chiding her for not learning to do it herself. Hikari would chuckle, whispering that she would always have someone to help her, the words never failing to bring a flush to Tairitsu’s cheeks.

It was a peaceful life. One that sorrow could not interrupt, where tragedy was but a faraway dream. It was a life that could go on, unerringly, for all eternity without interruption.

Perhaps another person would be satisfied with this. A paradise where one would be forever protected, where one’s vulnerable heart could never be broken.

Yet she could not hide behind an illusion, pushing away all the inconvenient facts she did not want to see.

Hikari never fully let her guard down, always on alert for threats that may not even exist, the shards of glass that followed her everywhere sharpening into a javelin at the most minute of sounds. If Tairitsu strayed out of her sight for even a second, Hikari would materialise right next to her, scaring the very soul out of her body. What followed would be a cold fury that Tairitsu was sure swept out across all the land, freezing the blood in her body and causing her breaths to quicken. It was a wonder that they did not crystallise upon leaving her.

Sometimes, she would awaken to Hikari watching her, that same unknown thing from before swimming in her eyes. And then her expression would shutter, returning to neutrality.

No matter what, though, any question Tairitsu attempted to voice crashed into a brick wall, making no progress. Hikari refused to answer anything, the glare she shot Tairitsu’s way enough to get her to clam her mouth shut.

And on nights when she couldn’t find the solace of sleep, the thoughts running round and round in her head intensifying to a cacophony… She would stay completely still within Hikari’s embrace, gaze fixed on the ribbon she had helped tie that very morning, a replica of the one on her own dress.

~~~

“Hikari? What do you think of the truth?” she asked, hands clasped in her lap to hide the tremble of her fingers.

“Whatever do you mean?” Hikari replied, her fingers, which had been drumming on her thighs, coming to a pause.

“Do you think the truth is the most important thing?” She pushed forward, desperately trying to ignore the terror that occupied her heart - a nasty, scaled beast that only grew stronger with each second. Despite Hikari’s claim to the contrary, she must surely hold absolute dominion over this world, able to control every facet. If such was the case, she could cease to exist at any second, if Hikari so willed it.

But she did not look away. To do so would be to admit defeat, and she could do no such thing. Not just for her own sake, but for Hikari’s sake as well.

“Wouldn’t you say happiness is the most important thing?” Hikari said softly, stilling completely. “If you’re happy, who cares about the truth?”

“I…” She bit her lip hard, tasting iron against her tongue.

“If the truth threatens my happiness, then I will not hesitate to destroy it.” Hikari’s gaze rose to meet hers. Cold and empty once more, lacking any of the gentle warmth that was usually directed at her. Glass swirled around her like a typhoon, some pieces shattering into dust beneath the weight of her rage.

The warning in those words was crystal clear.

And she heeded them, dropping her gaze, not wishing to suffer the same fate.

~~~

She needed to know. No matter what she did, the doubts, the questions, refused to quieten. Who was she, really? Why did some of these places, some of these paths, seem familiar to her? Why were there echoes of thoughts, of distant emotion? Like starbursts behind her eyes, whispers of rage that almost keeled her over, before Hikari’s caring hands brushed them all away.

And it wasn’t just for herself. She wanted to know, so that she could understand why Hikari was so shrouded in sorrow. She wished to close the abyss between them and truly embrace the other girl - soothe the pain that festered in her heart, and allow happiness to truly take root again.

She could not simply forget, could not give up the past and live only in the present, thinking not of the future, as Hikari wanted. Even if time’s flow could not be reversed, she couldn’t give up.

In the dead of night, when the world slept soundly, she untangled herself from Hikari, staring down at her sleeping form. She seemed so peaceful like this; every crease of her brow smoothed away, making her seem far more youthful.

Whispering an apology within the safe confines of her mind, unable to risk saying it aloud, she scrambled to her feet, tiptoeing a distance away before she began to move normally. Really, it didn’t matter. Hikari must be able to see across this entire world. How else did she always find her so quickly?

Her only choice was to get back before Hikari stirred. Whether she bypassed detection, whether she was caught… It mattered not. It all ended tonight.

She didn’t have a destination in mind. She simply followed her buried instinct, letting it drag her in one direction, a thread tied tightly around her finger.

It didn’t take long before her path was blocked by an invisible wall that rippled when she poked it, revealing itself to be an impenetrable wall of glass. Almost certainly set up by Hikari to hide an ugly truth behind it. The closer she had gotten, the more goosebumps had risen on her arms, nausea rolling over her as she swallowed down bile.

Pulling upon the thread that extended into herself, she focussed, gritting her teeth as she savagely tugged against the resistance barring her way. Tearing and tearing, forcing her way through sticky honey until the glass yielded to her control, a hole ripping open in the wall, large enough to glance through.

Within were the nondescript ruins of a church. The walls were crumbling, lone pillars stabbing into the sky. The roof was torn away entirely, surely in some epic struggle, random stones strewn across the ground.

Haunting, certainly, but what -

A wave of raw emotion forced her to her knees, the deluge of memories slamming into her enough to make her scream in agony, her heart feeling like it was going to rip apart. Images flashed through her mind in rapid succession - sitting in the pews of the church facing Hikari’s hopeful smile, hope that soon soured into angered desperation, a frenzied battle over earth and sky, and a sword -

The same sword that now pierced through her stomach, bringing her recollection to a screeching halt.

Reaching a trembling hand to the tip, she glanced down at her wound. There was no blood, just as there was no pain singing through her body. Only cracking glass, rippling outwards from the wound.

It answered all of her questions.

“I suppose, no matter what I do, you’ll always want to know the truth. But I cannot let you remember your hatred of me,” Hikari murmured, genuine sadness painted over her face as she let go of the sword’s grip, letting it dissolve into glass that returned to the sky. She caught her failing body, all strength fleeing from it as she collapsed.

I… I wouldn’t have…

“That’s just you, and I do love that. No matter how many times this must happen.” A gentle hand cradled her face, another reaching to undo the ribbon tied to her chest as lips brushed against her forehead.

With the last of the will she could gather, she reached out a hand that was nothing more than fractured glass, grinding together. Trying as hard as she could to cross that abyss that had divided them this whole time, now that she was so close, finally within reach…

I just wanted… To save… You…

She wheezed, unable to form the words, the consciousness that had been formed from wisps of a soul and tied in place by a fragile body made of lies beginning to escape now that its vessel had been destroyed. Dissolving into the sky, as all that she was vanished.

And then there was nothing but blissful darkness.

~~~

“You’re awake.” The words were muttered in a quiet voice that brushed against her skin, imploring her to open her eyes once more.

Who am I? was what she wished to ask.

“Are you God?” was what slipped from her instead, a girl with no name and no purpose, staring in awe at the figure looming over her.

The other girl stayed silent for some time, contemplating her answer, a smile slowly spreading across her face. One that could be described as serene, if not for the terrifying emptiness that yawned in her eyes.

The shards of glass in the sky rained down like feathers, forming the wings of a glorious angel behind her, two black ribbons fluttering on the sides of her dress.

“Yes, I am.”

#fanfiction #one shot #arcaea #hikari #tairitsu #hikaritsu #silent answer spoilers #final verdict spoilers #finally finished this it's from like january

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iknityounot · 11 months ago

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(Long post, sorry y'all)

A little more than two years ago now, my grandmother passed away. She and my grandpa had moved down to my home town a few years before so we could take care of them. I brought them groceries once a week, helped them write checks, fixed tvs, and found lost things. I was really close with my grandma.

In addition to her hilarious personality and dry wit, one of my favorite things about her was that she was a painter and a crafter like me! She used to crochet, and I took her to the craft store a couple of times so she could get more yarn and books on crochet. But her arthritis and the shaking in her hands kept getting worse, so she eventually had to stop.

She kept her most recent project, a granny square blanket, safely packed away in a plastic bin. She told all of us she was going to finish it one day.

Her hands never got better, and when she got sick, and we found out it was cancer, she rapidly deteriorated.

After she passed, I went to work helping my mom clean out my grandparents apartment so we could move my grandpa in with her. In our frantic cleaning, I found that bin again:

DOZENS of granny squares, dozens of half used skeins. I asked my mom what she wanted me to do with it, and she said she didn't care. I set it aside and later took it home.

Maybe a month later, that tumblr post about the Loose Ends Project was going around. It felt like a sign--I was never going to learn to crochet in order to finish my grandmother's blanket. But they might be able to help!

So I filled out the interest form. They got back to me SUPER quick. And maybe 2 weeks later, I was paired with volunteer in my state (only 2 hours away!) and the box of yarn, granny squares, and my grandmother's crochet hook were in the mail. That was at the end of January this year.

Over the next couple of months, my "finisher" emailed me regular updates on her progress, and asked me questions on my preferences for how she constructed the final blanket.

At the end of August, the blanket was done!

I had always intended the blanket to be a gift for my mother. So I cleaned it up, put it in the only bag I had big enough to fit it, and drove to my mom's. I gave the blanket to her and she was gobsmacked. I explained to her all about Loose Ends, and how someone volunteered to finish the piece for us. She was speechless. (I was quite pleased with this, because I am not the best at giving gifts, so this was a pretty exciting reaction!)

She said that it was the most thoughtful gift she had ever been given. She said "your grandma would love this". To which I replied, "yeah, I know she really wanted to finish it a couple of years ago". But that was when my mom dropped the bomb of a century on me--she told me that my grandma had started making those granny squares OVER 30 YEARS AGO. She had started the blanket when my grandpa was staying in the hospital, but that was back when my mom was younger than I am now! My grandma had packed them all away, planning on finishing it, when my grandpa was sent home from the hospital. Then it went from house to house, from condo in Chicago to their apartment in my hometown. All that time and my grandma had wanted to finish it, but couldn't. First because she was busy, then because she forgot how to do it, then because of her arthritis, and then because of the cancer. My mom said she had given up on expecting my grandma to finish it.

She said I brought a piece of her childhood with her mom out of the past.

And really, all of this is to say, if you have seen or heard about the Loose Ends Project and have an uncompleted project or piece from a loved one who has passed away--these are your people. They were so kind and treated my project with such care. That box probably would have been found by my own grandkids one day if I hadn't heard about Loose Ends.

Five stars, absolutely worth it!

(From what I understand, you can sign up to volunteer too! If you have time to share, it might be worth checking out!)

#loose ends #the loose ends project #joy knits #text #long post #knit #knitting #crochet #crocheting #craft #crafting #diy #crochetblr #yarnblr #yarn #knitblr

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