#finally all the references avaliable

[r3dcam3llias]

Brainstorming Ideas for Step 5 Mod...

Recently, I've been in my finalizing planning step (it's messy) for this mod, and I wanted to brain-dump some ideas for the logistical side of things. I decided there would be two main routes to focus on right away: Pregnancy and Adoption. While I plan on making a 3rd route to let players choose neither and just have fluffy, child-free moments with their husband/boyfriend Cove, that is not my main focus for the mod initially. Additionally, I would LOVE to make a surrogacy option, but again, it is not my main focus and will have to be something I consider after the 2 main routes are finished.

Also, for simply the sake of maintaining my sanity, Step 5 is going to have to be fully linear, meaning moments will happen in chronological order. Although they will still be able to be fully skipped and will include content warnings (if applicable) at the beginning of each one! (with the exception of a few key moments, to be expanded on later…) Now to get into the brainstorming itself, I'd like to share the outlines I've cooked up for these routes:

Pregnancy Route

During the pregnancy route, the MC and Cove will be able to have a biological child together through the MC becoming pregnant. This route is only avaliable if the player chooses that the MC was assigned female at birth or is intersex and assumes the MC still has female reproductive organs and anatomy conducive to pregnancy. Although the player can choose during gameplay whether or not they ever developed breasts/had them removed. I plan on making this route be split up into five optional moments, over the course of 9 months, with at least one optional moment before the MC becomes pregnant (not related to pregnancy at all) and at least two non-skippable moments after their baby is born. Additionally, I want as many people as possible to be able to play and enjoy this mod and also be comfortable and feel represented while doing so!!

Because of this, I know not everyone is comfortable with in-depth depictions of things such as pregnancy or talk of medical conditions, yet still want to have the experience. While obviously, there will be no outright graphic or disturbing things in the mod, I still want people to be comfortable playing. For this reason, I want to implement a “Safe” mode that cuts out any and all potentially triggering subjects for a fully wholesome, discomfort-free experience. When the mod is finished, I plan to have full documentation of what these moments are so players can give a quick read-through at their discretion before playing. Additionally, I may implement an additional system to cut out small, unneeded references to the MC’s pregnancy by family members, Cove, etc, for those uncomfortable with the fact being shoved in their face during gameplay, allowing a sort of “High” or “Low” reference mode (similar to initiative levels, I suppose!).

Adoption Route

I don't have a whole lot to say on the adoption route, as I feel like it's a whole lot more straightforward (and will give me less headaches hopefully...) But I plan to give it a similar story structure to the former. This play style will be open to any MC, regardless of identity. The MC and Cove do not need to be married for this option to occur, but they have to have been in a long-term relationship at least since before Step 4. Like the pregnancy route, there'll be at least one optional moment before Cove and the player decide to adopt a child, followed by 3-5 moments as Cove and the MC make this decision and navigate the process of becoming parents. They will be followed by at least two moments after their child is adopted. As for the child Cove and the MC adopt, I'm considering making their appearance randomized from a few looks and you'll also get to decide to do a domestic or international adoption, although this won't have an impact on their child's looks. ANYWAY... That concludes my rants, thanks for reading. Do you have any concerns, comments, or questions? Suggestions for how I could make this mod better/more inclusive?

[eomereadig]

Snippet: Like A Ray Of Sun

Fandom: Star Wars

Pairing: Commander Cody/Commander Fox

Rating: G

Tags: cuddling and snuggling, fluff, timeline? What timeline, happy endings, alternative universe - canon divergence, slight angst, references to past abuse, the Coruscant Guard deserved better, Fox got his hug, implied/referenced substance misuse

Full fic now avaliable here

Cody was so glad that the war was over - more for Fox’s sake than his own. 

It was difficult not to keep coming back to - the war and its resulting effects had dominated the better half of their lives, after all. Cody kept his focus on Fox, instead. Fox who was handsome, warm and sleepy by his side. 

He loved the way the sun hit the other man’s face, the way Fox’s mouth hung just slightly open as he slept. Cody just fucking loved him.

A tiny, barely-there kiss was pressed to Fox’s shoulder to illustrate that point before Cody settled back to watch Fox sleep for a while. Yes, Cody was well aware that he was a little, lovesick puppy, but he didn’t care. 

This was Fox. And Fox was safe, comfortable and relaxed at his side - three things Cody didn’t think any clone could have for any length of time. He couldn’t help himself when he reached up to brush some of Fox’s unruly curls away from his forehead, just to see that handsome face a little better. 

Fox’s face twitched as he blinked awake, something akin to a croak leaving his throat. His eyes were barely open but he still managed to shift a little into Cody’s chest. Cody watched the movement of his throat as Fox swallowed thickly before his eyes finally focused in on his cyar. Cody couldn’t stop his smile from growing - didn’t even attempt to try. 

“You look so cute like this.” It was barely a whisper but with how close the two of them were, Fox heard him anyway. At first, the other man’s only response was an inarticulate grunt as he whipped the sleep from his eyes with a clumsy fist. But then he seemed to remember he could talk. 

“Bu’ I just woke up…” 

“Yeah, you did.” Cody agreed, as if that were all the explanation needed.

Full fic now avaliable here

[feverofthyself]

tapping the mic is this thing on. one two three one two three.

My all-time favourite Medea depiction (and perhaps adaptation) is Apollonius of Rhodes' Argonautica [loud boos from the crowd].

Argonautica III does to me what I have seen Hamlet do to my friends. It postdates Euripides (who is of course the main source for common perceptions of Medea), but I genuinely think it should be required reading before talking about Medea because it's an innoculation against girlboss-ify-ing her. Not just because the context of Medea's arrival in Corinth makes the whole play so much more claustrophobic and her own options much more limited, but also because the traits Apollonius brings out in his portrayal of Medea lead (imo) to a different and more interesting read of Euripides. Also it's really good and surprisingly feminist, and I have made it my life's mission to make it a more popular text.

My white whale Medea adapation is a metanarrative Italian-language play about Medea as a trans Brazilian immigrant to Italy from a talk I went to last year. I only have my notes on it and I have never been able to find anything else about it.

The Worst-Best Medea adaption is Lord Byron's translation of the prologue. Now there is a man that is very confident and very mistaken in about his ability to rhyme.

Okay the second and third questions have kind of the same answer. The thing I think absolutely everyone gets wrong about Medea is the fact that she does not always kill her children.

Before the Euripides play, we have maybe one fragment suggesting she might have killed her children, and lots of evidence that she didn't -- while her story involves their deaths, they were killed by the Corinthians, rather than Medea herself. Obviously the filicide has captured imaginations and taken root as the traditional story, but if I were adapting it I would want to lean very heavily into the suggestion in the Euripides that Medea knows that her story ends with the deaths of her children. I would want to place much more weight on "it is a kindness for them to die by their mother's hand" as a concession to this, rather than as a reference to their birth (I personally find most analyses of Medea and motherhood to veer slightly too hard into bioessentialism, but I don't think that's inherent to an analysis of motherhood in "Medea"- it just puts me off a little).

I am also so frequently amazed by how many articles (non-academic and academic) manage to side-step racialised aspects of Medea entirely. Medea is at least as much a play about xenophobia as it is about gender, and I do not respect any reading that simply ignores this. I also think that remembering there are axes of oppression other than womanhood is another innoculation against the horror of girlboss Medea.

The final thing I think people get wrong about Euripides' Medea specifically (I promise I have read more on Medea, I just think Roman ideas of gender and foreigness make for less interesting depictions, and we don't have many more surviving Ancient Greek texts) is how trapped she is. If you are not taking the things Medea is saying in the play with a pinch of salt then you are not reading it correctly, but it amazes me how many times she will say that she truly has no good options avaliable to her and how many times people will overlook it completely for their image of an evil woman being evil on purpose. (This is also why you should read the Argonautica - I love the way Apollonius integrates this)

I have not read any modern retellings of Medea I don't think (?) because they all need to go through a complex vetting process in my head until I am sure they are not just simply blindly copying or making worse the misogyny & racism/xenophobia of the originals (and becuase I have such an emotional investment in her). And so I don't do that unless they come recommended. But if Bright Air Black is good I am looking 👀

OKAY I didn't even go into the Heroides but I hope you enjoyed my Medea thoughts and if you have different answers to your questions I would absolutely love to hear them. Particularly on foreigness and motherhood because Medea is so rich in things to talk about regarding those.

would love to hear your medea takes... if you have discussed them at length before feel free to refer me there but tumblr search is. well. you know

OH UMM. YEAH. ABSOLUTELY.

idk where any of my medea posts are (floating around?? somewhere??) but if you have any questions, shoot. I am much more interested in Greek depictions than Roman, if that helps.

[sofipitch]

Ilioupersis: 3,4,5,7, and 15

Sorry my answers are over a week after this was sent, I just hate rereading my writing so I had to be kind of drunk to do so

3: What’s your favorite line of narration?

The betrayal hurt worse than the knife.

Not bc I think it's the most poetic or anything but I like good opening hooks when reading and try to imitate that.

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

Louis talking about Claudia: “Perhaps our love simply wasn’t enough. Love does not justify every crime. A child should not have to live with the crimes of their parents”

5: What part was hardest to write?

Honestly it's always hard for me to decide when it would be realistic to have Lestat agree with Louis, him choosing to listen to Louis seems random and volatile so I'm always afraid if he agrees *too* quickly it's OOC. So when having Louis convince Lestat not to go after Claudia was hard. But also Lestat saying he forgave Claudia for killing him in TVL lives in my head rent free at all times and it's very important to me

7: Where did the title come from?

Ilioupersis refers to the fall of Troy (illum). Troy was finally destroyed through deception, and rather violently and I saw it as similar to how Claudia defeats Lestat aand then Louis, deception, and then excessive violence. The fall of Troy also just seemed like the kind of thing Louis would romanticize the destruction of his family as being equivalent to.

15: What did you learn from writing this fic?

I learned that we (humans/scientists) don't know how much blood there is in alligators. When we googled that question but for horses for TLWH it was readily avaliable but for alligators all I could find was a whole bunch of articles on blood pressure (Important for animals that hold their breath underwater for a long time since they need to ration their oxygen)

[microbiologynerdd]

Notion - BASIC and EASY Note taking system FOR STUDENTS

Hello everyone!

I hope you are well!

For this weeks #Microbiologynerddweeklytips post, I shall be sharing my university note taking and organisation system using Notion.

I have been using Notion for roughly 1 year, and have used it to organise my second year university studies, in addition to my voluntary position as the VP of my society.

So below is a very BASIC and EASY to use format you could adapt for yourselves! Enjoy😊

Contents

As a directory to everything I need at university, I have a contents page. Here I have each of my modules, as though they were chapters of a book. Each leading to a separate page of their own.

After this I have the required ‘modules’ for my placement year. I have arranged this slightly differently to my regular university notes - more details on this later.

Below this you can find pages for my summer microtalks hosted by SFAM. I attend these weekly and make notes in that subsection.

And finally I have a section for Taekwondo, to organise tasks I have to complete as the VP of Taekwondo.

Module pages:

So i have tested 2 different methods for module layout, each only having a slight twist.

- Please click the photos to enlarge -

In the photos above, I visualise the 2 different systems. Each of the systems involves having a new cell per lecture. However, in the first 2 photos (from left to right) I have separate pages for my lectures vs my lab notes. Whereas on the right, I have my lectures, labs, extra reading and questions all formulated into one table. Clicking the See All button at the top left of the table, above the search bar, you can choose to view classes by type i.e. just see my lectures or just see my lab notes for example.

The second system I have found works best, otherwise you are just clicking too many buttons to get to the area you need. However, in future I shall implement the ‘breadcrumb’ at the top the page, like i did with the first and second photos. (Breadcrumb = univeristy/ BMS2037:cellu../lecture below the page titles). Breadcrumbs make it easier to shift between pages instead of clicking the back button all the time. They are essientally hyperlinks to other pages.

Tip: to insert a breadcrumb simply put /breadcrumb and a breadcrumb will appear. This works for anything you are trying to insert e.g. a table

You can also choose to insert materials e.g. any lecture slides or resources you used within that lecture. Personally I dont find this helpful, as our VLE is clearly laid out with our lectures. But it might be something worth trying, as you can also insert pictures or any sort of media you require.

I also use the tick box function to keep track of whether I have written the lecture into Anki cards (flashcards)/ attended the lecture.

Side note: Please ignore my spelling/ how I label lectures, they make sense to me, they dont need to be 100% correct - right?

Internship/Placement Page:

I have recently been dabbling in the layout I would like to use for my internship year, however, I shall update you at a later date with any additional details, as due to COVID-19 the formate of the year and my assessments has changed. I also will find out more when I start my internship... which is soon - yay!

I’ve decided to have reminders at the top, which I inserted using /callout - you can change the emoji to anything you would like. This is for me to know instantly any important documents or tasks that I need to complete.

The external work to that provided by my internship is included in the table. This is essientally the coursework I have to complete on the side of the placement. Here i decided to note the deadlines and percentage of the year that it is worth. This is just to help me grasp the format of this year, since as mentioned above, it is slightly different.

Underneath this I have a selection of details to do with the company. This includes my acceptance letter and any insurance forms I need to send off. I just wanted to have them at hand so i can reference them at any time.

Summer 2020/Taekwondo pages:

These pages I format the same as the ‘Module’ Pages, so I haven’t included any pictures etc.

Miscellaneous things:

- NOTION IS FREE FOR STUDENTS - if you have an educational email, you can sign up for free! If not, packages start at $4 a month, which isn’t too bad for something you use frequently!

- This service is avaliable on tablets and computers, so anyone can take advantage of this organisational software!

- You can change the cover and icon at the top of each page. They include emojis and a standard image database, but you can also upload your own unique images if you desire.

- There are also template designs for pages, with different themes for different needs. So if you don’t want to start one from scratch you have lots of options to choose from. Use those as a base and edit them from there! For example, there are calendars, habit trackers, resume trackers and whole load of other things.

- Using a device for notes, such as notion, allows you access to any notes you have made at ease. It is organised, and you are unlikely to lose your notes. Paper is great until you scrunch up that important sheet, or it rains and the paper gets wet, or you are carrying every single note you have ever made - that can become heavy. Just something to bear in mind, especially if you can afford a laptop/ note taking device of some kind.

- You can create multiple pages for different aspects of your life (photo below). For example I have 2 additional pages, 1 for personal things and another for blog post ideas - to keep you guys entertained... haha! 😆

Conclusion :

What I have shared here is a very BASIC overview of how I use notion. If you desire a detailed in depth report of how notion works, it might be worth checking out Ali Abdaal, who can give you this information. As for me and what I require from the service, Notion has been working really well, keeping me organised with all my notes in one area. Knowing what I am doing, when, and being able to keep up with the speed of lectures - considering my writing speed is questionable. 😂

When you first download notion and look at all the templates, it can be a bit overwhelming/ exciting. Start with what you need, and then explore new ideas that you want to incorporate. There is no point setting up hundreds of pages if you aren’t going to use them, just like writing out pretty notes doesnt help you learn content - but more about that in a future post. Start small, being organised involves consistency, you can’t be consistent if you have given yourself too many things to do daily. Or at least you are unlikely to be.

One word of warning, Notion is not compatible with the Apple Pencil, so if you like writing notes on your iPad, this may not be the best software for you. As well as this, if you are a faster writer than you are typer, DO NOT USE NOTION. The whole basis of this app or at least how I use it, is to stay organised and write notes productively and efficiently. If you prefer writing, keep at it! Don’t just switch because suddenly you hear lots of tapping on keyboards in the lecture theatre.

Play to YOUR STRENGTHS , enhance what you are good at, not what everyone else is doing. As always, you’ve got this 💪

Let me know if you have any questions, or whether you’d like any further posts/details about my notion workflow. I’m happy to answer any queries you have.

Speak soon,

Lucinda x

[filmmakerdreamst]

Xena: Warrior Princess Review

During Pride Month 2020, I finally got around to watch ‘Xena’. A show that had been in my to-watch list for years, but never got around to start. And when I finally did, I was pleasantly surprised. It was not what I expected and it was everything I think my 11 year old self would have loved.

The one thing that surprised me about the show, was the lack of packaging. Even though it was a fantasy, it also played with different kinds of genres too. I’ve talked about this before in my other review - ‘Xena’ was made at a time when TV had very few rules/rarely had a set audience, since there were parts of the show that were clearly for kids and there were other parts that were clearly for adults (therefore had much more flexibility). I admired how they weren’t afraid to break barriers and touch on deep themes such as religion, morality, redemption, spirituality, motherhood, forgiveness etc - even more than shows of today are able. I also loved how they played into the idea of ‘murder’ and how much it can damage a person - not just the person who commits the act, but the many people affected afterwards. I wasn’t expecting it to be that extreme. It made me think that this must of been the inspiration for ‘Game of Thrones’. 

I see a lot of comments here and there, saying how ‘cheesy and terrible’ it was but to just accept it because its part of the fun. And while like any show it does suffer from the occasional spell of bad writing (the whole of season 5) but it was also shown to be very aware of that fact and never took itself too seriously - unlike some shows I could mention. 

And regarding the ‘cheese’ factor (what 90s show wasn’t) It definitely can be, but I would call it ‘camp’ and ‘experimental’ more than anything else. (Don’t diss the poor use of CGI - I’m personally sympathetic to what was avaliable to them at the time) The style of humour reminded me of Taika Waititi’s filmmaking. If you’ve watched any of his films such as ‘Hunt for The Wilderpeople’ or ‘Jojo Rabbit’, then you know what I’m talking about. I liked how little they cared about being accurate or logical, which added to the ‘bonkers’ element in the show - which you can see in all of Taika Waititi’s films.

In all seriousness, a show centered around two women in their late twenties, who are realistic sizes (not trying to play teenagers). One of whom is a reformed mass murderer, who has lived a life experience, trying to do good in the world for the first time, picking the other one up who has no life experience prior (after they bugged them until they said ‘ok fine’) in their path to redemption. Just two women who become friends travelling the world together, fighting crime, having a laff, learning from one another without any toxicity - when suddenly when the stakes are raised - they realise ‘oh I'm actually falling in love with this person’ I have watched a lot of badly written shows in my childhood enough to know that, that’s not ‘cheesy’. I’ve never seen a story like that in my entire life. I’m not at all surprised that Russel T Davis was inspired by it while writing the Doctor and Rose’s relationship in ‘Doctor Who’ since he’s gay himself.

What’s more amazing about their love story is how they’re both develop as separate people as well. There was this video essay explaining ‘Why you should watch Angel’ the spin off series to Buffy; how ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer ‘was all about growing up and ‘Angel’ was all about being an adult. With Xena: Warrior Princess, you have both of those stories at the same time. 

Xena’s character was such a multifaceted experience to watch. And I can’t imagine anyone else who could play her as well as Lucy Lawless. What planet did they get that actress from? She's flawless! The amount of skill she has to put herself into a very physical role is astonishing. I personally had a love/hate relationship with her character all series long. Not in the way that I hated her, just that I couldn’t trust if she was all good or bad, which I know was intentional on the writers part. I haven’t seen a character quite like her before. She felt very much like a fallen angel; almost like the villain of her own story. Some of my favourite episodes come from fleshing out her character and dark past (‘Locked up and Tied Down’ is one of them) which reminds the audience that's she's not the stereotypical hero everyone expects. I loved her transformation from being this incredibly stoic warrior to being content and happy with who she is in season six, all because of a woman she fell in love with along the way. 

I’ve always thought of Gabrielle as the real hero and narrator of ‘Xena’. She’s the prime example of ‘a normal person becoming extrodinary’. Gabrielle’s coming of age story starting out as an innocent girl from a poor village dreaming of adventure, and ending as this vicious warrior who realises the ‘adventure’ wasn’t how she made it out to be is honestly the best character arc that I’ve ever seen. I loved how travelling with Xena made her realise her passion for writing (which was never going to happen in her home town, given the ‘sexist’ and ‘heteronormative’ ideas) and that she became a amazon princess like Xena. In regards to her sexuality, which is more up for debate than Xena’s (which I think we can all agree is bisexual) I personally interpret her as gay, just in terms of how she was written. Theres this moment in season 4 where she's being held up her hair, and Xena “symbolically” cuts it off ‘freeing her’. And she never really gets with a man afterwards, unless she’s being ‘possessed. It reminded me of a moment in one of Hayao Miyasaki’s films ‘Laputa, Castle in the Sky’ where the bad guy Moska shoots Sheeta’s ‘princess hair off’ which symbolises her transition from child to adult.

The cinematography was breathtaking. There was some great utilisation of New Zealand as the scenery. So was the soundtrack. You could tell it was made by experienced filmmakers. One of my favourite things about the show was the domestic elements - moments in the show where time seemed to stop - which made the world around the characters seem very real and magical. Even though it was a show that featured a lot of action/adventure, there was also this gentleness to it as well. For example, you could feel the wetness of the rain, the warmth of the sun and the clashing of the waves. This technique is used in Hayao Miayasaki’s work a lot .

The technique is referred to as ‘MA’ 空虚 meaning emptiness in Japanese. ‘Miyasaki describes this as the time between a clap’

“If you just have non stop action, with no breathing space at all, its just busyness. But if you take a moment, then the tension building in the film can grow into a wider dimension” - Hayao Miyasaki

The episode ‘A Day in the Life’ in season two is a really good example of this technique being used.

To my understanding, they used a lot of the local actors in New Zealand, which according to Lucy Lawless, consisted of ‘African immigrants and other different ethnicites’. It was so refreshing to see such a diverse show (despite some slip ups) especially in the 90s. I appreciated the idea that if the actors or extras couldn’t do an ‘american accent’ people could just talk in their natural speech which was also very refreshing. 

The LGBT representation was surprisingly amazing. I never expected so many queer characters in one show - especially under the censors. There was this one episode where they had a trans woman - played by an actual trans actress - win a beauty contest. It made me cry. Not to mention the actress was an aids activist. It was actually Lucy Lawless’ idea to kiss her which was incredibly controversial at that time considering how everyone thought you could catch aids just by kissing. I can definitey see how it validated people back in the 90s.

When people told me that Xena: Warrior Princess was one of the greatest love stories, I thought they were exaggerating a little. But no, watching the show in context, I found out that it really is. Despite its obvious restrictions, It made me realise (regarding token gay couples today) how often television writers rely on physicality and drama to convey a ‘love story’ and how much of it is actually pandering the audience. One of the reasons why Xena and Gabrielle’s relationship felt so genuine is because it was built on mutual respect/compassion and they were also best friends. I felt like I was witnessing something very real and private. It didn’t need kissing scenes or drama to make it interesting. 

It really helped that most of the writers were queer also. There’s this opening scene in season 4, panning over to Gabrielle giving Xena a massage (metaphor for sex - because they weren’t able to show that on screen) which I consider to be one of the most iconic scenes in media - considering how I wanted to sick up my supper when I watched the 10 minute ‘empty’ explicit sex scene in ‘Blue in the Warmest Colour’. The difference when something is written by a queer women vs a straight man.

Because the creators weren’t allowed to write their love story in the normal way, due to the studio forbidding them to, they found creative ways to showcase that love on screen - which made for a very magical/sensual experience. And I can safely say, if anyone has doubts about watching ‘Xena’, whenever I expected to be queer baited at a few points in the show, I was proved wrong time and time again. It’s the most romantical show I’ve ever seen in my life!

[sunflowershouyou]

✮ Project Fun

genre: fluff

warnings: none

pairing: Bokuto Koutarou x gn!reader

in which you're first year in university and your intent is to focus on your studies; everything is going as planned until you have to do a project with Bokuto Koutarou

word count: 2455

The lecture has already started. The professor hasn't stopped talking for fifteen minutes. Everyone were focused on him completely engrossed in the material.

You were in the first row right in front of the professor. It was your first year as a university student. It was a big deal for you, moving away, starting a new life, being independent and relying on yourself. You liked that but you knew you had to be very responsible and you decided to focus on your studies and not let yourself get carried away from your goals. This meant no parties, no more lazy afternoons and especially no boyfriends. This seemed like a perfect plan for you.

The professor's voice was suddenly interrupted by a loud noise. The door opened and everyone in the lecture hall turned their eyes on the person, causing all the chaos.

'Hey hey hey! Good morning, everyone! Good morning, professor! Sorry I'm late again.' said the guy who was constantly late for lectures.

You made a little noise out of annoyance. It was Bokuto Koutarou. You didn't really like him. Why? He was never ready for projects, never on time, always unnecessary loud and too cheerful for your taste. You could list way too many reasons of why you didn't enjoy his company. To be honest you only thought you didn't like him. Actually you wanted to be like him. Deep inside you admired him. Yes he wasn't the most responsible one but he had a way with people, which you were kinda envious of since you still hadn't made any friends. Bokuto was very confident and even if he said something wrong he didn't mind, you on the other hand had no courage to even raise your hand because you were scared of saying something that might not be right. To sum up Bokuto was everything you weren't.

'Bokuto... again? What happened this time?' asked the professor.

'I'm really sorry I stayed up late last night and couldn't wake up on time this morning.' answered the boy.

'Volleyball practice I assume?'

'Correct!'

'Okay but please try to be on time from now on.'

'Yessir!' cheerfully said Bokuto and since the only avaliable places were on the first row he sat next to you.

'Hi!' he said to you.

'Oh...hello.' you suddenly felt like it was getting hotter in the hall.

'Okay everyone I have an announcement to make.' declared the professor 'Your next task is a project and you have to work in pairs. The deadline is the last week of the semester which means you have one month. Choose your partner and tell me the groups till tomorrow. Goodbye, have a nice day!'

The professor left the hall. You started panicking as soon as he mentioned 'work in pairs'. You hated working in groups and on top of that you had no one to ask to be with you. You were deep in your thoughts when Bokuto asked:

'Hey, do you perhaps want to work with me on the project?' he smiled.

'Um...' you didn't really like the idea but you had no other option '... okay fine.'

'Cool! I'm Bokuto Koutarou by the way. Nice to meet you!'

'I'm Y/N.'

'Oh so it's Y/N! I've been wondering for some time. Your name is pretty!'

He said that so casually that it left you speechless. Your cheeks became pink and it got even hotter. Before you could even say something he asked you:

'So when are we starting with the project?'

'What about tomorrow?'

'Tomorrow!?' Bokuto was shocked. He's not the type of person who does school work immediately.

'Yes, tomorrow. Do you have a problem if we study in the library?

'Nope, not at all.'

'Okay tomorrow at 3pm in front of the library.'

'I'll be there, Y/N!'

------------------

Two hours had passed and Bokuto was nowhere to be seen. You ended up studying by yourself. The library was closing so you decided to head home. At that moment you saw Bokuto running to you.

'Y/N! I'm sorry I'm late! But I'm here now so let's study.'

'Okay but the library is closed.'

'Oh...I guess I was really late then.' he let out an awkward laugh.

You sighed and decided to act a little cold 'Look, I know you're not exactly that type of person but I would really appreciate it if you take this project seriously. I need to ace this subject.'

'Are you always this strict to yourself?' Bokuto was curious.

'What is that supposed to mean?'

'Well... don't you ever have fun? Like I know this is important to you but don't you go out with friends sometimes? Like... on a movie or... I don’t know?'

'I-...' you had hard time finishing you sentence 'I don't have any friends...'

'Huh?' he looked at you with his big curious eyes.

You felt embarrassed. You were ready for him to make fun of you.

'This is kinda good you know?'

'How come?'

'Because I can be your first friend!'

You were absolutely surprised and astonished by the way he talks so casually and reacts to things. Every time he said something you could feel the sincerity. You felt warm knowing there's at least one person who wanted to be your friend despite you completely isolating yourself from others.

-------------

It was the next day. You were on your way to the library where you were supposed to meet Bokuto for a study session. You couldn't stop thinking about what he said to you the previous day. He really was sweet but you decided to ignore any feelings and to focus only on the project.

'Hey hey hey!'

'Bokuto..?'

'Y/N! I'm on time as promised! Am I the best partner you've ever had or what?' he was so cheerful almost childlike and you couldn't help but chuckle a little.

'How did you manage to come on time?' you asked.

'Well... this is very important to you, right? So since we are friends it means that it is important to me as well.' Bokuto explained.

Again... this sincerity. Everything he's said to you made you genuinely happy.

-------------

Two weeks have passed since you and Bokuto started working on the project. You were having lunch at the cafeteria when you got a message from your new friend.

B: [Hey, Y/N! I have an important match soon and I have to stay at practice a bit longer.]

Y/N: [When will you be ready? You know the library closes at 5pm.]

B: [Do you mind coming to the gym? We can study here. I have the keys.You can watch the practice if you want to... ']

Y/N: [Okay, I'll be there when I'm ready.]

Your last lecture for the day was over and you went straight to the gym. There was no chance for you to not find it since the boys shouting and volleyballs bouncing left and right could be heard from miles away.

You opened the door and the sight of Bokuto jumping and spiking the ball as hard as he could breaking the blocks was right in front of your eyes. You realised that you knew nothing about Bokuto. The only Bokuto you knew was the one from lectures. Besides that you had no idea what is he like.

'Y/N you came! You really wanted to see me play, huh?' Bokuto said.

'Uhm... I just... I was curious.'

The boy left you alone since the coach scolded him for talking to you. You planned on studying while your project partner was playing but you found it hard to not look at Bokuto. You were amazed by his skills, especially when someone referred to him as ace. You had no idea he was the ace of the team. You felt guilty for misjudging Bokuto. You had no right to do that considering the fact that you knew almost nothing about him. He was actually very responsible, reliable, dedicated, hard-working and never gived up on anything.

The practice was finally over and both of you and Bokuto realised that you've been watching him the whole time.

'Y/N if you want to see me more on court come to our match!' he suggested.

You blushed. Why did you felt embarrassed by this question? Your eyes met and you couldn't say anything. You were standing right in front of him keeping an eye contact and wondering why couldn't you answer him. Then you felt something. It was like electricity going through your whole body. Everything made you blush even more and your whole face was burning.

'I'll take that as a Yes!' said Bokuto and left to change his clothes.

Your study session went well but why did you keep feeling weird? Why was it so hard for you to stay calm and focus? You were wondering the whole time and Bokuto sensed that there was something else on your mind.

'Y/N?' Bokuto cupped your cheeks and felt the heat from your skin 'You're burning! Are you okay?'

This single movement startled you and you panicked.

'Y-yes I'm fine don't worry, Bokuto! Let's stu-'

And before you could finish your sentence he pressed his lips on your forehead.

'Bokuto! What what are you doing?' You felt as if everything was out of control. What were you supposed to do in this situation?

'Just checking if you have temperature. My mother does it every time when I'm sick.'

How was he so calm you wondered. He basically kissed you on the forehead and acted like nothing has happened.

'Hmmm but I don't feel anything... why are you so hot then?'

You looked at him eyes wide open and still couldn't comprehend what just happened.

-----------

Days have passed and you felt weirder and weirder around Bokuto. You had a lot of fun on your study dates but every time you saw him or heard his voice it had an effect on you. Every day as soon as you woke up you couldn't wait to study with Bokuto. You always looked around hoping you would see him in the hallways. You were constantly checking your phone in case he sent you a message. Why were you acting that way? This was so not you. Everything cleared when you caught yourself daydreaming during lecture. It wasn't a regular daydream. You were thinking about Bokuto, his voice, his laugh, his silly jokes and that particular kiss. Then it hit you.

You liked Bokuto Koutarou.

With every day passing by you found it harder to concentrate especially when both of you were working on the project. Good thing is that you finished it on time. The week before the due date you barely saw Bokuto. The reason was that he spent every minute in the gym spiking, receiving and serving. His important match was on the day when you were supposed to present your work in front of the auditorium. Bokuto reassured you that the match would be before lunchtime so both of you would have enough time to go to the campus and do the presentation. Everything was going just as planned when you received a call from Bokuto.

'Hi, Bokuto! I'm almost ready you haven't started yet right?'

'No, we haven't. But... Y/N...'

'Hmm?'

'They've changed the schedule and our match is going to be exactly when we are supposed to do the presentation.'

'Oh... is there anything we can do?'

'Well I talked to the coach and some of the staff but nothing can be done... I'm sorry Y/N I really tried.'

'I know, don't worry.'

Both of you became silent.

'You know what... I'm going to campus and I'll talk to the professor.'

'Good idea, Y/N!'

'Don't worry and focus on your match, okay?'

You hung up and got on the bus.

It was time for Bokuto’s match. You haven't called since your conversation in the morning and you were nowhere to be seen. Bokuto started worrying. He thought that you decided to present by yourself. This made him a bit sad but he knew how important university is to you and he just hoped that you would do great.

Ten minutes since the start of the match and Bokuto was about to serve. His hands were sweaty and the nervousness got to him. He looked at the crowd hoping you would be there. And you were. You were waving at him and shouted:

'GO ACE!'

This was it. This was all he needed to stop all the negative thoughts in his head.

The match was over and as soon as the teams greeted each other Bokuto went straight to you and hugged you tight. The two of you were equally surprised by that.

'So you managed to come! When did the professor let us present then?' Bokuto asked.

'Actually... he didn't.' you smiled.

'What? Why? Then what are you doing here?' Bokuto was worried.

'I just really wanted to see you play.'

'What about the subject then?'

'Well... we both failed.'

'Y/N...why didn't you present?'

'And leave my partner? Never! Besides there will be another chances.'

Bokuto tilted his head a little. He was very confused and worried about you.

'Y/N how are you so calm? This was important to you.'

'Well yes but the match is important to you and since we are friends this means it's also important to me!'

Bokuto couldn't believe your words.

'Woah... you've really changed Y/N...'

'Thanks to you!' you giggled.

'Failing classes? I must be a bad influence then.' he said while scratching the back of his head.

'You actually taught me to have fun. You know... you always say to not choose what's easy but what's fun... so...'

'So...?'

'I've had the most fun with you, Bokuto. Therefore I choose you!'

Both of you blushed and couldn’t look at each other for a moment.

'Um... Bokuto?'

'Y-yes!' he looked at you.

'What I really meant to say is that... I like you, Bokuto.'

As soon as you confessed you closed your eyes out of embarrassment. Where did you get the courage to say those stuff? You again started panicking and just when you were thinking of running away you felt Bokuto’s soft lips on your cheek. You froze yet your whole body was burning.

'Not fair, Y/N... I wanted to say it first!'

'Huh?'

'I like you, Y/N.'

He kissed you again but this time on the lips and then hugged you tight.

'Now let's go and celebrate your win and our failure.' you suggested.

'You know... this is actually good.'

'Us failing? Why?'

'Because this means we can spend more time studying together!'

At that exact moment you realised that being in a university can be  more pleasant and interesting experience when you allow yourself to have fun.

Thank you for reading!

- sunflowershouyou 🌻

[20.09.2020]

[pau-san]

Since not everyone knows about this, I'll talk about it, why not.

On October, DSP posted this on Twitter

Translation:

DSP wants to do illustrations of all those things.

And what are those things?

Her upcoming projects!

-10 angels and 10 demons

A story with the servants of the sadistic god and the horny devil. We'll get the public release of the angel crew's names, only avaliable right now on Ci-En (I know them heehee)

I like to think this is going to be some sort of sitcom between all these guys lol

-Ocean Kaleidoscope

A story protagonized by Adauchi when he ran away from his home and met Rema and Lastar Chaos.

-Carnival Rhythm

We all know this one. DSP has mentioned that game will take a while to make, implying it may be the longest of all she has made so far.

-The Great Sinner(s?) of the Dawn

No idea about this one. Could be about anyone and anything.

-The Gray Garden Remake

Again, we know this one. Nothing new about it so far.

-Oji-summer (pun of ojisama = uncle)

THIS. THIS IS THE GAME. THE IDATE DATING SIMULATOR!

... Except that you play as Nagi. So don't expect to be able to fuck Idate. Or maybe you will be able to, who knows.

A story where you go on vacation with your uncle and your dad, and you decide to stalk your uncle. Hell yeah.

-Buri-ing/Ivleeching

Yet another dating sim! This one with Ivlis!

You play as Satanick, obviously.

But fear not, my friend! Look at what it says under the picture! DSP is going to give us the chance to get a happy ending!

-Devil Girl Ivlin

The April Fools joke that turned out to be an upcoming story. What a nice development. DSP has said she could make the "nipple-showed" version avaliable only by payment. Basically, make us pay to say to see our desired Ivlin/Ivlis porn.

-I'll die tomorrow

More of those comics starring a weird group of friends. Maybe it'll become a manga... 🤔

-On the Sea Below the Sea

According to an old post and if I'm not mixing stuff because who translated it didn't do the best of translations exactly, this is going to be a story about Aounabara and his creation of the Sea Kingdom. Aka, a Wadanohara prequel. Where we may finally learn why did he choose Uomi over Mikotsu.

-A Paradise Submerged in Darkness

As I like to short it... Apsid.

I already made a post about this so... Nothing to say. I'm still scared.

[kimkymury]

Blue Rose Tears - Chapter 10

Hey everyone, another chapter of Pascal x Carl fanfic is here, I can’t believe that we have reached chapter 10, thank you very much to everyone who is following and supporting the story.

I’d like to thanks @depressedoverdrawings​ for  for reviewing the history and help fixing grammatical errors.

Warning:  Just a little warning, some characters have distorted views about sexuality, and those views do not represent what I think in real life. This was written on purpose to suit the environment and the time that the story takes place, since at that time people were more closed minded.

The Portuguese Version of this story is avaliable on Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/971396659-as-l%C3%A1grimas-da-rosa-azul-cap%C3%ADtulo-10

Under the cut!

Chapter 10

P.O.V Narrator The sun was at the top of the sky, indicating that half the day had already passed. Only part of the way had been walked by the boys so far, and they seemed to be the only ones in that place. It didn't look like the same Lacombrade they always saw, it was too quiet. Usually there were several students hanging out outside the school after classes ended, but now the lonely landscape brought a feeling of freedom to Carl quite unlike anything he had ever felt, a strange blend of adrenaline, fear, and excitement. They took a shortcut through the forest in order to avoid being seen, as was likely if they walked through an open area. The journey to the greenhouse was done silently, as the religious boy apologized internally several times for his truancy. The older boy, who led the way, decided to start a conversation, so that he perhaps could calm down his friend's nerves.

"You surprise me sometimes." - The redhead spoke as he walked, catching the attention of the dark haired boy.

"What? How so?" - The youngest one asked, relieved that a conversation had started and that the deafening silence was broken.

"I thought spending time with Serge was what you wanted, but not only did you decline his offer, you also agreed to go to the greenhouse with me." - Pascal replied, smiling a little bit.

"I've never seen you take so many risks in such a short period of time." - He spoke again in the middle of a laugh, leaving his friend a little embarrassed.

Carl did not know how to respond. It was true that being with Serge had been his greatest wish for a while, but that didn't feel like such a great priority right now. It was strange, because the only thing he felt right now was the desire to spend more time with Pascal, which made him feel a little shy.

"I just thought it would be better to get away from him a little bit, until those unwanted feelings disappear." - The religious boy replied, dodging a branch that was in his way.

After a few minutes of walking, the two boys were in a clearing with a small dirt path to the greenhouse, which reflected the sunlight on its glass walls. The place was a contrast to most of Lacombrade, which used to be so cold, always with its gloomy atmosphere. It seemed that the greenhouse was a little piece of paradise on Earth, a place that felt almost otherworldly, so warm and welcoming it was. Entering the glass-walled room, the old surroundings, seen before so many times, still managed to impress the two friends. A great many plants fought for space, varying in colour and size, some falling over others, making the entire room messy yet comforting. What stood out most was a radiant pepper plant, which carried its long branches as high as it could. The sun shone behind the plant, making it look even more charming. Delighted at how long it took him to realize the beauty of that place he'd already frequented several times, the dark-haired boy touched the small peppers that reflected the sun, disappointed in himself for not having noticed the greenhouse's beauty before.

They did not feel like they were in an ordinary place, they didn't even feel as if they were still in Lacombrade Academy, nor did they feel they were doing something wrong. It was just the two of them before the dazzling beauty the greenhouse provided them. Spending the afternoon analyzing and picking different species of flowers was one of the Pascal's favorite pastimes, and even though Carl didn't quite agree with the activity, he understood why his friend enjoyed spending his time doing so. It was like a sanctuary, away from all the worries and uncertainties that the school's aura conveyed. It was a place to rest, think, or share a moment with someone special. Glad to finally be able to show Carl one of the reasons that always motivated him to escape classes, Pascal gives his friend a list of some species of flowers to be harvested, which ranged from roses to weeds. With his paper in hand, the religious boy starts walking slowly through the greenhouse, looking for exactly what was written, and taking the opportunity to admire the environment even more, noticing the small details that always went unnoticed.

Meanwhile, inside one of Lacombrade Academy's classrooms, the same one where the two boys had been hours before, their names were the subject of a conversation. It was only a few minutes before class started, and everyone was surprised that the Class Representative was not there. Some asked what happened, worried if something might have happened to him, others, more malicious, already imagined that he'd been led astray and followed the steps that some cute boys followed in the school.

"Did you saw Carl and Pascal after lunch?" - Serge asked the friends who sat next to him, they seemed curious and worried.

"We didn't see either of them, Pascal is probably busy working on his Blue Rose, but we have no idea where Carl might be." - Kurt replied, as Neka agreed with a gesture.

"He didn't look well, he was late in the morning, and now he doesn't come to class, what could have happened?" - The pianist asked worriedly, flipping through the pages of a book that would be used in that class.

Carl's perfect reputation could be a flaw at times, as everyone always expected the best from him and admitted no less than exemplary attitude. He might not show it, but he was tired of being seen as a reference or a model, it was exhausting to keep all aspects of life perfectly balanced. His grades were always high, he wore the cleanest and tidiest clothes, had an exemplary education and was seen as a true gentleman. His kindness, qualities and purity hid someone who, even though he was surrounded by people and received lots of praise, felt lonely. It was not very noticeable, but most times he smiled, it was possible to see that deep sadness, that melancholy look that never failed to worry. Rare were the occasions when Carl's smile was entirely devoid of any negative feeling.

"Maybe he wasn't feeling well today, we can talk to him after class." - Neka said, reassuring his friends while trying to think positive, he couldn't imagine any other reason for Carl to miss classes.

Amid the flowers that bloomed in the glass room, the list of the two boys was slowly decreasing in size, with only a few species left to be harvested. They carried in their hands the most polychromatic bouquets they had ever seen. They looked like those sold in Arles or Paris, any girl would sigh when she received one of these. They carried in their hands the most polychromatic bouquets they had ever seen, they looked like those sold in Arles or Paris, any girl would sigh when she received one of these. The last item on the dark-haired boy's list was roses, and Pascal had not specified exactly what kind of rose he should pick. He decided to choose the color himself, as he imagined that it would not make a difference in his friend's experiment. And so, some red roses were picked and placed next to the other flowers that were in his hand. Pleased to be able to complete the list, Carl took the bouquet to the scientist along with the list, saying:

"In the list you gave me, you didn't specify what kind of rose you wanted, so I picked the red ones, is there a problem?"

After turning to talk to his friend, Pascal analyzes the flowers that were picked before answering the question asked. The truth is that the dark-haired boy was standing exactly where the sun's rays perfectly framed him, giving him an angelic aspect.

"It was exactly red roses I needed, you picked the right ones." - The redhead responds trying to act naturally, although he was a little enchanted by how radiant he looked in the sun and the plants.

"I thought the color of the roses didn't matter, as you always try to make them blue." - The religious boy said, slowly running his fingers over the soft red petals of the flowers.

It was impossible not to mention the scientist's obsession with changing the color of flowers. Ihat had been his life goal since he was very young, even though his own family disbelived that it would ever be possible. Carl was one of the few people who understood his dream, it was one of the reasons that brought them closer, because he always supported him, even though he had little chance of success.

"The colors are extremely important, because in addition to the different pigments, each of the roses has a different meaning." - Pascal replied, happy to have the opportunity to teach his friend something.

"White roses symbolize purity and innocence, they are the ones I use the most because they have a color that is easy to change. Yellow roses symbolize joy and friendship, they have a pigment that is not really useful to create the blue color." - He explained in detail, articulating well and naturally, as he spoke about one of his favorite subjects, one of which he was the most knowledgeable about.

Carl had become accustomed to his friend's peculiar interests, but he was surprised to learn the symbolism of each type of rose, after all, he had never presented anyone with flowers and didn't have much knowledge on the subject. What he admired most was the way Pascal explained things. It was possible to have a genuine interest in what he said, it was exhilarating to see just how much the older boy wished to learn, to know more about the flowers. Soon after a relatively lengthy explanation of what each color of rose meant, the youngest boy realized that the meaning of one flower had yet to be explained: the red rose. Even though he already had a brief knowledge about the flower, with a bit of shyness, Carl decided to ask his friend, just to hear his explanation.

"What about red roses? What do they mean?" - He asked taking a single red rose from the bouquet, making it very visible.

Surprised by the sudden question, a part of Pascal wondered if the youngest boy really didn't know what the meaning of the flower was, since it was one of the best known and most used types for gift-giving. Perhaps he had noticed a little audacity on the part of his friend, as it was as if he just wanted to hear what he had to say about the rose. These thoughts were soon put aside, it was evident that Carl would never provoke him that way. He was just imagining things again. Assuming Carl didn't really know, he explained normally, just as he had done with the other colors.

"Red roses, the flowers of Aphrodite, Venus and Maria. They are the most symbolic species in the West, and even though they are so similar to the others, they have a much deeper interpretation." - The older boy answered the question, taking the reddish flower that was in the hand of his friend - "They are the flowers that are most used to present the loved one, as they mean beauty, consummation and love."

Pascal analyzed the flower he was holding as he continued his explanation, not realizing the effect his words had on those who were listening. The religious boy felt a little shy hearing words as sentimental as these, and felt flushed like he did the afternoon they spent in the laboratory.

"They have the same color as blood and heart, they symbolize the respect and devotion that an individual has for the loved one." - The scientist said in the midst of his daydreams, the explanation about the other colors was simple, but with the red rose, he went on talking.

The dark-haired boy was surprised at the times when Pascal was able to think in a more emotional than rational way, as he usually boiled down to numbers and calculations, but this time he seemed more emotional than usual. It was eccentric the way he knew so much about relationships, but never had anyone pique his interest. This was one of the few things that Carl did not know about his friend. The two rarely talked about matters of the heart, and the neglect towards this type of conversation resulted in neither of them knowing about the other's romantic interests. It was evident that Pascal had extraordinary knowledge in several subjects, even in interpersonal relationships, as he had helped Carl in his moments of doubt. He was afraid to be indiscreet, to make things between them awkward, but he needed to know:

Has the rational genius, Pascal Biquet, ever fallen in love?

The redhead was not the favorite suitor of the girls or their families, that was a fact. His disregard for strict social rules, his careless appearance, his eccentric interests, and his unique way of thinking were not exactly what was considered attractive, though being one of the oldest children in a family with a good reputation and financial condition did give him some advantage. In all these years he had known him, Carl had never heard his friend mention a lady's name, or give any sign that he had been interested in anyone. This in a way comforted him, even though it was a selfish and immature desire, he was happy to be the closest person to his friend at the time. He couldn't imagine the redhead with anyone, even if that was eventually going to happen. Whenever thoughts like that crossed his mind, he felt a kind of discomfort and didn't know why, he just stopped thinking about it and tried to distract himself.

"You understand so much about love and its aspects, but have you ever met someone who made you feel it?" - The question was asked timidly, he felt so embarrassed that he couldn't even properly pronounce the word "love".

It was the first time he heard Carl ask him about love, as it was a subject rarely discussed between the two. Obviously the scientist would not miss an opportunity to joke about the situation.

"First, you agree to truancy, and now you want to talk about a subject that we don't normally talk about? I must admit, the imposter they put in your place really isn't very good at all." - The redhead said in a sarcastic tone, making his friend forget his shame and laugh a little.

"There's no need to answer if you don't want to, I was just curious." - He replied looking away and returning his attention to the flowers again, trying to escape from the subject and avoid further embarrasment.

Pascal thought about possible answers. It was rare to see Carl so boldly mention this topic, so changing the conversation was out of the question. If the answer was negative, he would be lying to himself and to Carl, but if it was positive, he would have to be careful that his true feelings were not discovered. The dark-haired boy looked at him expecting an answer, but also afraid that he had asked something too intimate. Deep down, he knew that most things people considered embarrassing or inappropriate would not affect Pascal, but he still feared he had gone over the limits of what was acceptable in their friendship.

"Yes, it has already happened to me." - Pascal replied, this time without sarcasm or with a joke involved, he was being sincere and direct.

Carl found himself surprised, even though he knew it was likely to have happened. He felt a little frustrated, and guilty too, because he should have been feeling happy for his friend. He imagined he would have been be the first person to know, they were best friends and shared everything that happened in their lives. The younger boy tried not to care, after all the scientist owed him nothing. He wondered who was be the person who managed to arouse such interest in Pascal, in his head he projected the image of someone with the characteristics that would attract his friend. He had several questions, such as who that person was, how he found out what he felt, and most importantly: what he did about it. He considered asking or not, but preferred to remain silent so as not to be invasive. Pascal was amused to see Carl's confused expression, he probably wanted to continue the matter, but he didn't know how.

"Feel free to ask anything you want to know, you know I don't mind that." - The older boy said, leaving Carl surprised to have guessed what he was thinking. - "If you keep imagining too much and don't ask, you'll get even redder than you are right now."

That was enough to make the boys laugh. The fact that Carl got red in the face in situations where he didn't know how to act was in a way attractive, it was a unique and subtle feature. Normally he didn't like that detail in himself, he felt even more ashamed when others noticed it. But with Pascal it was different, having the freedom to laugh at each other was an advantage of being very close, it was something they did only when they were alone.

"How did you find out what you felt?" - The religious boy asked, gently sighing after saying so, still feeling guilty over the feelings he had for Serge.

The redhead knew exactly what made him attracted to the dark-haired boy, his shy and somewhat withdrawn personality, the way he was always so diligent, and how he always tried gave his best to fulfill his responsabilities. Besides, he understood him like no one else, and he could count on Carl for whatever he needed. The words were carefully thought out before being said, as he took care to make them clear but not too revealing.

"How can I explain? It happened in a natural way, I knew it right after I realized how comfortable it feels to talk to that person, and even when we don't talk, their presence is sufficient." - He said as he continued walking slowly through the greenhouse, being accompanied by his friend.

Carl knew that the women closest to Pascal were his sisters and other girls in the family. The redhead's social life was not very busy, and he could hardly think of who the person described by his friend could be.

"They support me in my experiments, even though they're not sucessful most of the time. What I like most about them is the fact that we have fun together and how they know almost everything about me, as well as I know almost everything about them." - The scientist continued to speak, arousing his friend's curiosity.

"Please, continue." - The religious boy told his friend, who had paused a little to look in his direction. Carl seemed a little disappointed to hear those words, and he was trying hard to look excited.

He was really innocent, thought Pascal. He could hardly imagine that the scientist was talking about him, in his monologue.

"Let me think ... When I'm with this person, I feel that I don't have to try to adapt to what is expected of me. They understand me, and they've seen all parts of my personality, even the most fragile ones." - The religious boy was impressed with the ease wish with his friend spoke about his feelings, while he could not even express what he felt.

"They've helped me in many difficult moments, moments that even I couldn't believe in myself. Sometimes they scold me, saying that I should try harder at school, but deep down I know that they only do it because they care about me. " - He said, hiding the happiness he felt when he said those words, for fear that Carl might be suspicious of his true meaning.

The younger boy did not know how to answer. He should be happy for his friend, after all Pascal was old enough to marry, so finding a girl with whom he identified was wonderful news.

"You two must be really close." - The dark-haired boy said, trying to look excited and proud of his friend.

"Yes, the best part is that when I'm with them, I don't feel like being with anyone else." - Pascal said, this time looking at his friend, while pushing his glasses slightly upwards.

For some reason, those words kept echoing in Carl's mind, what did he mean by that? Did "not feel like being with anyone else" include him, too? Even though he knew he was being selfish, hearing that made him feel anxious, as he feared that they would grow apart after they graduated, each one following their own path, maybe never seeing each other again. All the criteria his friend listed as the reasons he fell in love seemed a bit strange, they didn't fit with what he felt for Serge. Maybe his feelings weren't as strong as he thought. This in a way motivated him, made him realize that those feelings could be, in fact, fleeting, and that everything could maybe return to normal with the passage of time. In fact, if he tried to use Pascal's criteria to choose the ideal person for him, he wouldn't be able to think of anyone.

In fact, there was a person who met those criteria, but young Carl Messier was not able to see it.

"Well, whoever she is, she must be adorable. I'm glad you found someone you like!" - The dark haired boy said, showing himself happy for his friend, who was trying to hide his disappointment when he heard the answer.

Pascal had planned to tell Carl what he felt for him for some time now, but first he needed confirmation that his feelings were mutual. Carl's somewhat neutral response did not help, he still couldn't figure out what to do. He wanted the relationship of the two to progress somehow, but at the same time he feared that their friendship would end tragically, and by the redhead's calculations, there were great chances of this happening.

The conversation changed there, and they continued to look for flowers to complete the lists. After a while, the bouquets in their hands was even more colorful and every flower on the list seemed to have finally been picked. They sat side by side on a small wall in the greenhouse to compare the species of flowers harvested. The distance between them was minimal, a fact that did not bother either of them.

"All the flowers on the list were picked, I just couldn't find as many lilies as you wanted." - Carl said showing the small amount of lilies in the middle of the bouquet; they weren't widely cultivated in the greenhouse.

"No problem, I only need one component from them." - The redhead replied, still with his eyes turned towards the list.

Only on rare occasions like this did they allow themselves to be so close. Physical contact was generally not well regarded by people, but they felt comfortable being close to each other. The sun's rays reflected on the glass opposite from where they were sitting, bathing them in a golden glow. That moment seemed perfect, just two friends together, creating good memories amidst the tranquility of the greenhouse's beauty Suddenly, their faces were closer than usual, as they talked about the flowers they had picked. It was not strange, but still, both felt themselves a bit mesmerized. The last time they were so close was in the laboratory, during their experiment, a memory that heated the hearts of both boys.

Carl did not move and did not say a word, he was static and did not know what to do, what he would normally do in this situation would be to avoid, but he continued to stare at his friend. The redhead, on the other hand, slowly leaned forward, getting only inches apart from his friend's face. They looked deeply into each other's eyes, unable to move or look away. Carl's heartbeat started to quicken, he tried to calm down but it was no use. He didn't feel like pulling away. Being so close to the scientist allowed him to take in every detail of his appearance, his reddish strands were uniquely hit by the sunlight, giving his hair a fiery glow. The dark-haired boy felt uncomfortable when evaluating the appearance of the people he saw; he didn't feel entitled to do so, especially with other boys. And yet, he did it now: even though Pascal didn't have angelic beauty or a flashy appearance (or just didn't care enough about his looks to have one), Carl still managed to find him attractive. He'd seen him every day for many years, he was completely used to his friend. He didn't try, but could still somehow look handsome while his hair was messed up, his glasses were over his head and he wore a wrinkled lab coat.

The scientist's gaze went from his friend's eyes to his mouth, which was slightly open as if to say something, but the words wouldn't come out. After a few more seconds in that same position, Carl obeyed his instincts and approached slowly. The day had been full of adrenaline, broken rules and, mainly, a lot of guilt. Maybe he shouldn't care, just for today. He really needed a day off, a day away from all his daily stress. The guilt could haunt him later, after this was over. The older boy took the initiative, seeing that he had nothing to lose, and that the consequences of his next action would most likely not be negative. He touches his friend's lips with his own, just as he had done the day before. This time, it was different. There was no experiment to be an excuse. They were simply doing what they wanted to do, and that was what frustrated Carl. All his life, he'd been taught that it was wrong. He'd repressed himself so much, and felt guilty in a way he couldn't explain. Now, he was here, out of class during school hours, sitting on one of the greenhouse's short walls along with his best friend, doing something he would probably regret later.

While Pascal was happy to be having moments like this with Carl, he worried about what he was thinking. He didn't want to pressure him, to speed things up too much. The religious boy, however, let himself be carried away by the emotion of the act, allowing himself to forget, even if just for a few seconds, the guilt that always haunted him. The position of the Sun indicated that it was well past noon, but time seemed frozen in that greenhouse. The glass building kept a newly created memory that would be deeply engraved in the minds of the two boys.

Continued in the Next Chapter

Written by KimKymury, thank you for reading it!

[dangerouslysmartslime]

Trying to understand college: My first Academic Development 101 Zoom Meeting

Discussion is going to start, and it’s going to be for Chapters 1 and 7. Academic Development 101… Starting with a check in, so… I didn’t read both parts because it is purely questions that you’d find at a mental hospital, which makes sense but it is a pain. So stop wathcing fucking shows like People Watching and get stuff done.

What is one thing you hope to accomplish this Winter Session

I hope to get used to online classes, unlike my Junior Year of High School, which was quite unpleasant. At the same time I also felt like I was being babysat by the school as there was no on the campus who knew what I was taking. Taking US Government, Trigonometry, English, Environmental, and such but a lack of continual feedback. Just trying to understand things day in and day out and the best thing I could seemingly think to do was to read the material and then look at what other people online thought, and then use both the actual sources and analysis of others. To be a lot better person than that is ideal, however it can be a lot harder than being at a class and there being discussions and then what happens outside of class is review.

There are a lot of folks who are here today, so they’re taking attendance and I feel unsure of what to do. I realize now that the three classes are interconnected, in the fact that they aren’t straight and narrow, they’re pieces that you have to read, go over, then respond with in your ideas. You have two days left before all the assignments are due for the week. A lot of people say they should earn at least a B+ GPA. One must first be stable before they can help themselves. Apparently a lot of people don’t know what to do with themselves, but they spend a great deal of money on education. Where do you take it to and pursue. Improving as a student and being more organized. It’s definitely something that I should work on, as there are Modules 1 and 2 at the same time, and getting it all done is important so you don’t get multiple 0s and fail classes. Just as you ended up getting an 80% in a Quiz just because you didn’t answer the questions quickly and efficiently. Learning better time management as folks can often be procrastinators. Passing, keeping focused, and keeping ahead of assignments.

Transitioning to online classes can be a pain for people. How to apply the tools you have, as there is a difference between getting dressed and being there or being online. And the program they use is something that people get used to. Her name is Stacy Hurley, who’s taught at CCBC Face to Face since 2011, taught Sociology classes in the evening and worked with child protective services for Baltimore City as well as nonprofit and therapy. She is an adjunct, and works with the Howard County. She does dog walking, dog sitting, and tutoring for fun. She likes that she is flexible, and her favorite thing is teaching. She started a post-graduate program, as not only she has a teacher perspective but a student perspective, so she was taking classes as well as teaching. She even asked for extensions, using the tools to keep yourself on track. Any questions? Nope.

Meets Tuesdays and Thursdays, and is a Synchronous class, meeting at those times and you are reading the chapters before class so there can be a good discussion. Know the material, and then review is in Zoom. There are quite a few modules she goes over, and the process is important. The “journey is the point of it” The final point is the “story of me” Where hopefully the class is at a different point in 3 weeks from now. All of the Office 365 applications are used, and there is a way that you can connect the google calendars to the school one. You can add those in there so everything is in one Calendar. Work on understanding everything so you can be organized. You also get a OneDrive to store work, and some people may also use a Google one, and saving it into the OneDrive is important so you can do it on your work computer, or home computer, or a library computer. You can make folders as to organize things by class, then week, then assignment (just as I have already done). I still need to make a To Do List for each week, and getting things done efficiently.

Announcements, and if you need tutoring, then you can arrange them through the virtual tutor. You go to getting Started, a tutorial to get to CCBC Email and Login, then the Keep Learning guide for online resources going from Face to Face, then logging into Blackboard. Going to Blackboard and it’ll bring you up, and if you don’t have it then you have to go to MyCCBC login. For the New Student Orientation there is a video and powerpoint to look at. The information will also be talked about in the next 2 hours (because it’s already been 30min) in the end there was the certificate, which I need to send to Stacy Hurley for Extra Credit.

Students improve and remain in college because of Academic Development 101. Think about Resilience and Grit. It’s not hard stuff, it just takes time and planning to deal with. Schoology is similar, for grades there is All, Graded, Upcoming, and Submitted. How much everything is worth, where you see discussion, assignments, and all of that. When she grades something you will see the grade out of how many points, then a text bubble giving feedback. “Hey you’re missing this, hey I like this, hey you should’ve had this.” And you can submit multiple times, taking her feedback into consideration. Practice your writing and communication.

In general the information hasn’t changed in the newer textbook, but it might be a good idea to buy, and we’re not going to get to all of the chapters. College Policy regarding etiquette for Zoom Classroom. Of course wear clothes. First part of the list, you must read. Student Success Navigators. There isn’t a counselor on campus, but they assist with finding resources like food, housing, applying for benefits, getting mental health help, referring for any of these services. You should be successful and going there is done at any way. Either talking to them or filing a report to need services. Someone contacts you to set up an appointment for what you need. There are disability accommodations, for different mental and physical disabilities depending on if you have a 504, and people don’t tell them why you get accommodations, as it is protected by HIPPA and such. There is also the Student Success Center offering tutoring, and avaliable for tutoring as the class fees pay for it. So use the link. Pay attention to the Academic Calendars, like when you can drop a class and when there are finals. Use proper college English, use proofreading. This is the time to do so. Turn your work in on time. Anything extra that was not assigned will be extra credit. Take advantage of it, as not every class has extra credit. Earn as many points as possible out of 800, so you earn as many as possible, then add the Extra Credit points, then the class grade is that out of 800. Know where everything is by keeping it in one place. Keep it in APA Owl Purdue College Format. It breaks down how to cite. Some courses may use APA, some may use MLA. You will be creating “The Story of Me as a Lifelong Learner” as each assignment builds up to the final project, which will be done using the app SWAY. Given each topic and skill you should be able to build a toolbox. The three words are Grit, Resilience, and

If you want to do the bare minimum, that’s on you, but if you want to do more, then you can. Really it is best to do as much as possible. The biggest Module is Module 4 as there are the most complicated pieces. Career Inventory, a survey that goes along with it, research links to look at careers you’re interested in. Looking at Educational Plan with DegreeWorks attached and information from ARTSYS website to plan Spring classes. I still need to talk to an advisor, so that is rather important. Transferring to another university later. You have to pay attention to each of the pieces. The final project is due February 1st, taking all of the pieces to have a Portfolio,/Presentation/Blog online about you as to finish it. The career piece will be on Animoto. You’re not paying for anything, you’ll just be using the free version. So manage your work and your stress to do what is needed. In person they used to do a career poster. Videos on how to set up Cornell Notes if handwriting. The templates were given for Word. You must write a summary of the chapter to show what you have taken away, it is pretty important. This chapter told me ABC. The notes must be in the format, whether typed or handwritten.

What is ACDV? Academic Development

Helps you be successful in your academics, to identify weaknesses, meant to help you develop good habits in academics, to come up with a strategic plan for yourself. Promoting healthy attitudes, to help sharpen your skills. To help you transition to college, to know where things are on campus and on Blackboard. To help make sure you are choosing the correct career path and educational path, to help you with a work/life balance with a new academic lifestyle, to help you prepare for the future, to help you have an idea of where to go. Getitng to know yourself better, developing academically. Exploring your passions, interests, values, skills, and talents. You can be interested in a great many things but you aren’t skilled in many. But interests can become skill. You can develop new skill based on the interests you already have. What are your values. The jobs that you’re thinking about, what is your motivation. Because if your motivation is purely money, then you could’ve taken a job that costs less to study for. What do you want to accomplish and look at. You don’t want to be a nurse if you don’t like blood or needles. Sure carrying tradition might be nice but it may not be fit for you. Do you want to have a career and not just a job.

What is academic development

To help us know what to do with our lives.

It can be quite difficult as there it can take a third of our lives to become who we want to.

A guide to CCBC and how to perform well in this institution.

What is Student Life is a thread that it has. There is the Community Book Connection as well. A book club, and the newest one is “The Truth about Stories, a Native Narrative” which if you do it, you get extra credit. Campuses are open, and you have to stop, they’ll check temperature and you have to ask questions on whether you’ve been close. The library and bookstore are open to go and get things. It is kind of a ghost town due to the plague, but things are still open. Blackboard has a list of Campus Events, Activities, and Resources she’s talking about. All of the folders are there, and things are due by tomorrow, while for Intro to Human Services my classes are due the day after. It is a pile of things stressing me out and the best thing you can do is to do your best at surviving and making the world a better place. Important things you need to cover, so let’s get done what is needed one thing at a time. Module 1 for ACDV is now due on Friday, and you’d get the rest done by Sunday. On Thursday we’ll talk about Finances, so that will also have to be handled. Filling your mind with sha helps no one, so take it one step at a time, use your peers and teacher. Try first, you will have to deal with things outside of time and sooner or later it will all click. We might not get to everything, so mainly do what is assigned. If it isn’t assigned, then wait until you’re done with assigned work before working on unassigned work or work due far later (following week). 

[tsaduri]

𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐃 𝐒𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑   ..      right  hand  of  god.                           trilla suduri is a dead woman.                           i found pieces of her,  i found so many pieces.

           𝙸𝙽𝙳𝙴𝙿𝙴𝙽𝙳𝙴𝙽𝚃 & 𝚂𝙴𝙻𝙴𝙲𝚃𝙸𝚅𝙴 𝚂𝙴𝙲𝙾𝙽𝙳 𝚂𝙸𝚂𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝙾𝙵 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁 𝚆𝙰𝚁𝚂.

my carrd is under-construction & so for now, here is a brief overview & summary.

this is a private and semi-selective writing blog for the second sister / trilla suduri of star wars jedi: fallen order. 

my name is naz,  i’m 21,  jewish & from new zealand.     i’m a huge meme & a full time student.     i love video games and spend too much time reading.     i’m super approachable & u can just send me a meme and we can hang.     discord is avaliable on request!

i am working on a prequels verse!     i’m just lazy and slow.     i have a modern verse [which i’ll detail in a post soon] and a cyberpunk/futuristic verse,  which again, will be detailed later.

i’m also just lazy & slow in general.     please understand my replies will take a while sometimes.     however,  i fully admit that i do prioritize replies to people i talk to regularly & have plotted with.     i simply find it easier & as trilla can be fickle,  it helps my writing.     please feel free to come and throw yourself at me so we can plot!

i will not interact with any kylo ren or general hux blogs.     full stop end of story.

i default to a non-canon verse in which trilla  survived  vader’s attack & escaped.     as the second sister,  she is declared and assumed dead.     she was however,  left scarred & alone,  taking an escape pod from nur during the ensuing chaos & eventually heading to the planet, arkanis. 

the main point of scarring occurs across her back,  connecting from her left upper arm near the shoulder joint and crossing diagonally across her back.     the heat from the lava beneath the flooring left the right side of her face scarred in the cheek & jawbone area.     however,  due to her helmet as an inquisitor rarely ever being removed,  her face is not publicly known.     darth vader,  the grand inquisitor,  cal kestis and cere junda being the only living people knowing her face. 

she currently lives on alderaan;  under the alias of eva and working dealing junk in a small store.     the second sister is considered to be dead & trilla suduri was considered to have a long time ago.

>    the final moments of ‘the second sister’, she changes sides and defects [avenge us, to the padawan’s like her & her genuine look of defeat after cal bests her].     she considers herself  grey  now, neither jedi or sith.     she is simply grey & one with the force.

i will elaborate later on trilla’s force abilities later but please understand: she is an exceptionally powerful force-user.     she trained as a padawan for several years before eventually being captured & tortured.     she trained under the hand of darth vader,  both in the force & as a duelist.     she rose to the rank of second sister for a reason.     but --   since her break from the dark side & the inquisition,  she loses power.     purposely cutting off her own abilities of anything self-deemed  too dark,  she is signifigantly weaker but regains some light-side abilities she once abanonded.

when referring to her:  anything pre-order 66,  she is trilla suduri.     post-order 66 and pre-defection,  she is the second sister only.     as the second sister,  she is known & feared in the galaxy.     her outfit,  markings & voice are recognizable as the second sister.     after defection,  she is eva;  to all those who do not previously know her.     out of character,  i usually refer to her as trilla as a general overview but occasionally as the second sister when specifically talking about her time in the inquisition.

i will eventually add more to this & detail more about later.

[strawberry-dangancanons]

Escapism

also known as the auditon tape of participant 433, yodogawa seishi, for the latest season of danganronpa

characters: pregame seishi yodogawa

alternate universe: pregame au

tw: bullying mention, anxiety mention

word count: 758

ao3 link: currently not avaliable!

The audition room.

He walked in, nervous and practically shaking a leaf. 

The room was dim. There was only one light, and it was on the side opposite of the door, right above the camera high on the wall. The room was also rather small, but it wasn’t enough to cause any discomfort in him. 

Thank god. 

Seishi didn’t need to be any more scared than he already was. By looking at the walls, he could see that they’re diligently soundproofed. There were two tiny lights below the camera, just small enough to not affect the room. One was red, and the other one was green. The red light was flashing. When the green one flashed on, he was going to start his audition.

The male shifted anxiously beneath the camera as he waited, fidgeting with the sleeves of his oversized Chiaki Nanami hoodie. Seishi could practically feel his body’s tremors while his wait continued. He glued his eyes to the floor briefly, causing him to almost miss the flash of green light. Maybe he didn’t want to see it. He didn’t have to do this. He could still turn back if he wanted to. 

However, he didn’t. 

Seishi rapidly attempted to straighten his posture when he looked back up at the now flashing green light. 

“My name is Y-Yodogawa Seishi, and I’m p-participant Number 433...”

He took a shaky breath, desperately trying to soothe his nerves, before he started up again. 

“I’m, uhm, not the best with words, despite writing a few popular fics for your show,” He let out a seemingly bitter and forced laugh as he continued. “Ehehe… I-Isn’t that ironic? I’m fanfic writer w-who can barely get a sentence out.”

The show he was referring to, the show he was auditioning for, was Danganronpa. It started off as a small TV series that followed groups of high school students who were forced into a murder game. He hadn’t heard of it until Marin had introduced him to it. Then, like most franchises do, it managed to skyrocket in popularity and gain more obsessed fans. 

 “If I am a contestant... I’d want to be... someone more confident. Someone who’s more liked than the mess I currently am,” Seishi’s gaze wavered with the camera a little while he tugged at his hoodie’s sleeves more, “I could be someone who’s as intelligent as Kirigiri-san. Like… m-maybe a mystery novelist? Writing is one of the only things I’m good at, after all.”

His breathing shook as he thought back to the constant abuse and mistreatment he went through at school. He was teased, splashed with water, and even physically assaulted. Outside of Marin, Ayumu, and his sister, he didn’t have anyone who truly cared about him. Sure, he had fans who liked his fics, but there was no way in hell they’d like the real him that wasn’t hiding behind a glass screen. Seishi’s hand briefly grazed over the bandage on his left cheek before he spoke out with a somewhat more steady voice. 

“Or… I’d want to be someone who’s able to protect themselves. On your show, I see so many characters who are strong, capable, and reliable. I… want to be someone like that, you know?” His voice managed to shake a little after he touched his bandaged cheek again. “I d-don’t want to be hurt anymore.”

Before he had finally decided to end his audition, he willed himself to speak up again, just to make one final request. 

“Um… two people w-who are important to me are also auditioning for this season, and their names are Mizuta Marin and Fujimori Ayumu. If you choose them, please let me be in the game as well. I don’t want them to do this alone, especially Fujimori-kun. He’s one of the only people who actually care about me, and… I don’t want to see him getting hurt.”

Not knowing how to end the tape, he gave a rushed, awkward bow before quietly saying “thank you for your time.” He turned around and exited, assuming the light had turned back to red. After he left the audition room, he let out a heavy sigh and reunited with his two friends. 

Maybe things were going to be okay. 

Maybe, just maybe, he’d become more than the hurt and weak Yodogawa Seishi he already was. For once, he could possibly finally protect himself, be liked by people other than his family and close friends, and be free of any doubts.

He could finally be able to find his own form of escapism.

[note-katha]

Chapter Two: The Five Circles and The Four Rings

Welcome back! It’s time for...chapter two, right? Right. Okay, let me find my page again, let’s see.

There was a long silence….ah, no that’s too far ahead. We’re not ready for that yet, or at least you probably aren't.

Here’s chapter two! Let me tell you, this chapter is going to be filled with information. Classes and more classes and a few people that I recommend you take a moment to burn into your memory. Not literally though, I should point out. I can’t afford another literalism lawsuit. Well, let’s move on. We have a fresh pot of tea and an enthralling chapter to get too!

As entrancing as orientation can be, especially for new students, we, unfortunately, have to cut through all the chatter to focus! We’ll pick up right about here, where the professors smartly split the group into Witches and Nevermore-originating students. It’s just for ease of communication, I’m sure you understand, yes? There’s such a variety of different material to cover that it’s the only way they’d be able to get everything done.

We haven’t even gotten to the Rings!

Professor Maaya took the group not too far away, leaving Dr. Avali to deal with the Nevermore kids. Maaya, unlike Avali, was endlessly rational, a benefit when it came to describing magic to a few scores of people that hadn’t known magic existed until now.

“Shall we begin?” She asked with a warm smile. The professor turned to trace out the Five Circles of Magic in the air, illuminating it in Energy-based magic. Ah, you might want to see it, I’m sure my explanation wasn’t the most helpful, huh?

Here, hand me that paper, would you? I have a pen.

There we go! I haven’t been drawing this symbol for years to be bad at it. Now you have something to refer to while I keep going.

“The Five Circles of Magic are the most basic concept that as Witches, you all must understand,” Maaya explained. “The Fifth Circle is the most common, containing the spheres of Energy, Nature, Voice, Time, and Space. I’m sure most of you here are attuned to the Fifth Circle. I, myself, am an Energy Witch.”

Ardis and Jules shared a look, one that went “oh, that makes sense”. Ardis and Jules were both separately mildly relieved to know they’d have someone at least somewhat similar to them nearby. Aw, that’s so adorable, isn’t it?

As she spoke, the sigil lit up, starting at the very top and moving around in a clockwise pattern. Yes, this order is important, make a note of it.

“The Fourth Circle of Magic is less common but very important. The Fourth Circle contains the four basic elements, Wind, Fire, Earth, and Water.” The pattern repeated, showing where each one was placed with Wind at the top and Earth at the bottom. “While some countries choose to replace one or two of the elements with others which they feel works best, Evenfall has chosen to follow the Western Arcane theory for the Five Circles.”

She nodded to herself, eyeing the group to see if anyone was lost. No one was tired, though that was rather due to her energy spell currently covering the students. They’d sleep well tonight, luckily.

“Alright, moving onto the Third Circle of Magic, I hope you’re paying attention!” She clapped her hands together with a brilliant grin. Oh, right, did I forget to mention that Professor Suli Maaya was one of those kinds of people. The type that has a switch to flip and suddenly be a disconcerting vibrant (and mildly aggressive) person. “The Third Circle contains, from the top, Mind, Soul, and Emotion! This here is a very dangerous circle, as it relates to altering a person’s self but it’s not necessarily something to be feared,” she adds as a reassurance, “And Third Circle attunement is quite rare.”

Well, I hope that wasn’t too much for you, because we have a little more to go before we can get back into the fun stuff.

“Finally, the Second Circle of Magic, Creation and Destruction. This is the rarest and technically power circle to be a part of.” Professor Maaya scanned the group. Kal squirmed a bit, she was feeling guilty for some odd reason. It’s good to be unique! I would imagine she knew that but now, but she’s an odd one. “I want to preface one very important thing before I ask for questions,” Maaya said, “Despite how it may appear, you are all equal in power and strength. The Inner Circles often appear more powerful but are far more difficult to ever truly use. The Outer Circles may seem limited or small but they will provide you with undeniable abilities and skills. At Evenfall, we want everyone to thrive together and work as a group to hone your powers. Strength comes in multiples not singles.”

Oh my, that was quite cheesy. I told her once she should probably change that line, but it’s managed to make an impact every year. Judging by the baited breathes and silence, it worked once again!

“Any questions?”

There was a long silence, people don’t figure out things that quickly.

Fortunately, something did break the silence.

“Magic...MAGIC ISN’T REAL!” Someone unknown screamed from the back of the group. She’s one of those people I mentioned to remember. Her name is Mira and you’ll be hearing that statement and a variety of variations from her quite often. At least it broke the silence, sending the group into a crowd of laughter.

Kal bit her lip, unconfident. Originally, she was inclined to agree with Mira, but now? She was more unsure if she was capable of surviving at a school like this. Which, is absurd. She’s a main character! Well, she doesn’t know that, but that doesn’t make it not true. It looks like we’ll have to wait for the character development for the rest.

Someone raised their hand for a question, “What about the First Circle of Magic?”

All the energy seemed to drain as a quite deadly serious expression was now on Maaya’s face, “The First Circle of Magic is dangerous, so I beg you, please, do not look into it.”

“Isn’t that...just gonna encourage people to look into it?” Juli whispered quietly. These three were, in fact, the exact type to look into it.

“You could lose your life by doing so.”

“....Nevermind.”

There was far more to do in terms of “beginning”, but it was decided many years ago to place those in the first few days of classes.

All students being required to take their respective Circle Magic class gave a guaranteed spot for students to finish the final steps that would truly allow them to step into the world of Nevermore and Everless.

And allow those scared to run away. Don’t tell anyone I said that, I already got in trouble enough about it before, I would rather remain on good terms with the school.

Anyways, by the unfortunate thing called “organization”, all our wonderful students are all in separate classes.

Well, Kal was guaranteed to be separated but Ardis and Jules wound up in separate classes. Quite tragic, really.

Well, who’s first? Well, we started with Kal first so why not Ardis? He’s in for some, how would I put it, interesting company.

Ardis was humming lightly, as he tends to do, as he entered his class. He didn’t recognize anyone, which makes sense, Ardis you haven’t met anyone yet. Though, that’s probably because he’s in that dorm. A mostly empty place which people rarely actually lived in.

His luck was only evident of his main character status, don’t worry. He took a seat near the front of the class, hoping to be left mostly alone. He wanted to learn! Which, well, he hopefully will at Evenfall. That’s the point of college, isn’t it?

However, as unfortunate is it is for him, there was someone who recognized him.

“Hey, is this seat taken?” The voice of an obnoxiously flirtatious voice called out. Ardis glanced to his side, only to see Mary Sue, his suitemate.

“No?” Ardis answered quite unconfidently. Ardis wasn’t sure if he was relieved to see a familiar face or off-put by the girl’s odd behavior. He was fairly certain that getting involved with someone with a weird name like “Mary Sue” wouldn’t be a very good idea. Though, let me be honest, he’ll be doing far more than she will.

“Hey!” Mary Sue hissed, glaring as she looked around. “Who said that?”

“Who said what?” Ardis asked.

“That, uh,” she stopped. “Whatever it doesn’t matter, it’s just part of my fantastic destiny probably.” Oh dear, I think she can hear us. That shouldn’t be happening.

That’s quite a problem, but it doesn’t matter. We don’t see that much of her! So we can move onto discussing what happens during class. Personally, the Circle classes are always delightful to teach. They’re pass/fail classes and unless you miss all the classes or skip the final, you’ll pass. It’s education on how to use your magic, most students aren't inclined to miss the class.

Mary Sue plopped down with a huff, but caught Ardis’s confused staring.

“I’m sorry, uh, whatever you’re named, I’m not interested,” she said with a weird smile.

Ardis cocked his head to the side, very innocent, “What?”

“I’m not interested in you, so don’t even try.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“I mean that look you’re giving me!” Mary Sue laughed. “You have something to say, right?”

“I was going to ask if you needed stomach medicine, you had a weird expression,” Ardis said simply. Ah, that’s what I love about this kid. Blunt and innocent, it’s a very fun combination to see. Especially now that that Mary Sue girl’s eye is twitching. Let’s hope that doesn’t become a habit.

“I don’t.”

Ardis gave a nod, finally being able to focus on his own stuff again. A delightful set of pens and paper to take notes with. Oh yes, he’s one of those people. He likely spent a few hours debating which of his colorful stationery he’d bring along.

Class began shortly afterward. Professor Zita Cavallo was teaching this class. I hate Professor Zita Cavallo, she owes me for an incident way back in ‘33. She’s a generally nice person, however, which prevents me from telling you to hate her.

Regardless of owed debts, she was teaching this class. Attuned to Space Magic, she was quite the interesting teacher.  Someone stood beside her, a glamour placed upon them. It seemed to be tied to Professor Cavallo but none of the students here were really talented enough to notice that.

“Good morning students,” Cavallo signed, accompanied by their assistant. “My name is Zita Cavallo, this person beside is Luna. This is the Introductory Fifth Circle Magic class,” she paused to cast a spell. The fifth circle emerging behind her. “That includes Energy, Nature, Voice, Time, and Space.” The corresponding points lit up as she signed. “I’m attuned to Space, personally. There’s a lot to discuss! So, we need to discuss and work on the assignment of Rings.”

“Rings?” Someone called out.

“Evenfall and the surrounding area is unfortunately not very safe. So, in order to protect our students, we have made pacts with ancient entities. These old and wise beings have protected our school and students since the beginning of the school’s life. Today, before any classes truly begin, we will be allowing the selection process to occur.”

That got Ardis’s attention. “What do you mean, allowing?” He asked, looking at the professor with confusion.

“You and I do not select your Ring. Their Guardian selects you.” Ah, yes, the stock line every Circle Magic professor uses. I mean, it’s not bad just not creative! “We’ll step outside for a few minutes for the process. It shouldn’t take long but we’re organized into times since there’s quite a few classes to get through and our guardians can’t stretch themselves too far trying to help all of us.”

There were murmurs through the class as Cavallo began to lead them out of the room. It was rather unexpected, after all. The Rings, however, are quite interesting and I always find it fun to watch students in their amazement for what goes on.

They filed out onto an open area, where Cavallo ordered them to circle around. She stepped into the center. The first step to the Ring ritual was the origin summoning.

Cavallo was good at this, she’s done it plenty of times. She stretched out slightly before beginning to cast a very specific spell.

Five circles, well, five rings were illuminated around Cavallo. They burned brightly for a long moment, even despite the sun shining above the students. They soon disappeared and Cavallo grinned. I swear, I hate her cockiness, she did a simple spell, not changing the world. I would know.

“Okay, students. So, the Selection process isn’t very glamorous, but that’s not the point here. This is important, so please listen well.”

Well, we’re not listening to her. I find that Cavallo’s explanations drag on and on and on. She’s the through type and we all know that through means boring.

The Five Rings each represent a Guardian. Fye, Brist, Mir, Sair, and Ravere.

Brist, who manifests as an owl, represents wisdom and creativity. She’s a sweet person but can be terrifying when upset. I don’t recommend making her upset. Mir, who manifests as a deer, represents nature and growth. They’re quite a nice being though a bit of boring. They’re very reliable.

Sair, who manifests as a fox, represents fire and trickery. He was once considered evil but if you give him pets, he melts. Don’t tell him I said that though. Then there’s Ravere, manifesting as a hawk, she represents wind and passion. She’s very strong and appears most frequently to her charges.

Finally, Fye, of ice and courage. A lone wolf, both in personality and form, they’re very selective in who they pick and rarely show kindness. They’re just shy, I think.

Anyways, with that explanation, let us return to the story.

Mary Sue, who had stuck near Ardis for some reason, leaned over. “Obviously, Fye will pick me. I’m the perfect choice!” Ardis nodded half-heartedly, far more curious in the ritual than the girl beside him.

“We’ll begin with…” Cavallo scanned the class. “You! Come here.” Ardis! Wonderful, this chapter was getting long.

Ardis walked over, curiosity suppressing any of his nervousness.

“So, quick explanation, you’ll stand in the center of where the circles were and with a bit of your own magic energy, the Guardians will appear for just a moment, before one selects you. Quick and simple, your magic carries part of yourself, allowing the Guardians to start to understand you.”

Ardis nodded, “How do I use my magic energy?”

“Ah! I forget, not all of you know. Just take a deep breath, focus on whatever it is you feel within you. Search for that energy and cling to it. That’s enough.”

Deciding that was enough of an explanation, mostly because he had been able to do some types of magic beforehand, Ardis figured it wouldn’t be hard.

He closed his eyes, trying to shut out the students around him. He could feel it, the energy and the magic that was there.

He jerked, opening his eyes to see the rings once again bright with light and animals in each one.

The Guardians.

There was only a short moment of tense deliberation before one ring, rimmed in orange with a fox at the center was the only one to remain. Sair, the fox of fire and trickery. He had been selected.

The fox seemed to bow before disappearing as well.

Cavallo clapped her hands to grab Ardis’s attention. “Good job! Let’s get to the next person. You?” She pointed at Mary Sue.

The two switched places as Mary Sue flipped her hair. She was confident, very confident.

Ardis was now able to watch the scene that had unfolded for him, yet slightly different. From the outside, you couldn’t see any of the Guardians, simply the light of the Rings.

For now, Ardis quietly wondered how Kal and Jules were getting along and what it meant for a being of trickery to select him of all people.

taglist: @falling-rivers @superwaywardangel @immawritethat @arynneva  @likeicarusifall @aschenink, @writing-for-the-batfam, @ekrizdis, @wiccanchester, @spacebrick3

[recentanimenews]

An Explorer's Guide to the Wonderful World of Visual Novels

Visual novels! Once decried as a “niche” by the masses, they have slowly but surely wormed their way into video games as a whole. Persona became a visual novel, then Fire Emblem. Now Saya no Uta, Gen Urobuchi's disturbing cult “classic” (?!) is available on Steam to stumble upon. There are fewer barriers than ever before to experiencing this varied, historic and often misunderstood medium.

    But where to begin? Some visual novels are very long. Others are quite lewd. A number of them (even the ones people love) front-load their most boring material at the beginning, and save the best moments for the last hour of what can be twenty or thirty-hour games. Picking up Saya no Uta without being primed for the extremes of the medium is a recipe for despair. But don't be afraid! Many of the best visual novels being made today are only a few hours long, encompass many approaches and genres, and are acceptable for all ages. In this piece I will lay out a path that you, dear reader, may follow into the thickets. Some things to keep in mind:

1. Every one of the games featured here is legally avaliable in English. If you know Japanese and are willing to spend some money, feel free to experiment on your own!

2. The games featured here range from appropriate for teenagers, to appropriate for mature audiences. Content warnings will be marked as needed. That said, almost none of these games feature the kind of graphic sex you'd see in old-school titles like Fate/Stay Night; the exception is the final title, included for completionism, which is truly sordid and not appropriate for anybody (but I like it).

3. While I've had some experience with the medium, BL and otome games are huge blind spots of mine, so I won't embarrass myself by pretending expertise! If you're interested in exploring those fields, I've heard good things about Code: Realize (get the collector's edition with the extra content!), Hatoful Boyfriend and (if you're OK with some NSFW material) Coming Out on Top.

With that said, let us being our journey!

  SHORT AND SWEET:

  These games last about two to three hours, but will stick with you longer than that. Don't assume these are “beginner games” simply because they are short! I could argue that collectively, the three titles here are the best on this list.

    Butterfly Soup is Brianna Lei's follow-up to her cult success Pom Gets Wi-Fi. It's free! It's also one of the most acclaimed visual novels ever by the mainstream games press, scoring praise from folks like Patricia Hernandez and Steve Gaynor. As for what it's about: it's the story of four girls on their high school softball team, two of them are in love, and there are many funny jokes. I found the ending to be abrupt, but if you're looking for good vibes and some much-needed encouragement to stay true to yourself, I highly recommend this game. Plus it references Matt Mullholland's excellent “My Heart Will Go On” performance, which earns it extra points in my book.

  Content warnings: Brief depictions of parental and physical abuse (no visuals!), ableist slurs.

    We Know the Devil is “what if Kelly Link wrote Revolutionary Girl Utena?” Plenty of anime and games channel that energy (my beloved What A Beautiful visual novel series among them) but few do so as succinctly and distinctively as Aevee Bee, Mia Schwartz and their team do in this game. The result is a punk, unsettling take on magical girl stories set in a Christian summer camp, featuring sneaky world-building and some striking body horror. You'll feel for the cast and their struggles, and cheer in the True Ending when everything goes completely off the rails.

  Content warnings: Psychological and body horror, alienation of queer youth in a religious setting, freaky music.

    EXTREME MEATPUNKS FOREVER is a game about gay antifascist folks fighting fascists across the desert while riding giant robots made of meat. It's the equivalent of a zine you'd pick up at a fair, willing to dive into messy topics most games shy away from and wholly uninterested in sanding away any rough spots. The music is great too! Play this game if you want to beat up Nazis in a giant meat machine called ROOTS AMONG ASH.

  Content warnings: Body horror, mentions of self harm and abuse, suicidal ideation, alcohol, gender dysphoria, loss of bodily autonomy, apocalyptic ideation. For mature audiences!

NICE AND MEATY:

  These games are a good bit longer, ranging from five to fifteen hours to beat. If you enjoyed the earlier entries and want more, try some of these!

  The House in Fata Morgana is a bonafide cult classic, a game made by a small studio that earned itself a legion of die-hard fans in the visual novel space. At first glance it's an entertaining genre pastiche, four tales of doomed love centering around a cursed mansion. But read past the first four chapters, and suddenly the real story comes to the fore—the tale of two ordinary people and a love that lasts for centuries. Fata Morgana takes some huge swings, tackling societal oppression, intersexuality, recovering from past trauma and learning to move on from those who have wronged you without having to forgive them. Its success at landing these swings likely depends on the reader, but I found Fata Morgana's heart to be in the right place. Couple that with one of the best soundtracks in video games, and you have an experience that is worth it even at 0% off.

  Content warnings: incest, domestic violence, racist and sexist remarks, psychological manipulation, homophobic and transphobic remarks, sexual assault, child abuse. For mature audiences!

    Heart of the Woods is, as of yet, the most ambitious game made by Studio Elan. It's a supernatural mystery where two adult women travel to a small town in the cold and dark to investigate some strange occurrences. What they find leads to unexpected romance, but also incredible danger. Heart of the Woods is sweet, it's funny (Tara is hilarious!) and as has come to be a running theme in this piece, the music is excellent, courtesy of Sarah Mancuso and Kris Flacke. Heart of the Woods is a game made by people who clearly have a lot of affection for visual novels as a medium, but had enough discretion to snip out the bits they weren't fond of. It also comes with a plethora of accessibility options, allowing you to customize everything from the text to the music to your needs.

  Content warnings: Parental abuse, alcohol, light horror elements, some sex scenes you can enable with an optional R-18 patch. For mature audiences!

    As for Seabed, it's... yuri ASMR? It's difficult to describe, as the appeal of this one for me isn't so much the story—which is intriguing, but very slow-paced—as it is the feel of it. Everything from the music, to the sound effects, to the text, contributes to a languid feeling unlike every other game in the medium I have played. Seabed won't be for everyone, but few titles match its distinctive atmosphere.

  Content warnings: alcohol, partial nudity. At least one sex scene that isn't too explicit by the standards of the medium. For mature audiences!

  THE DEEP END:

  These games range in length from fifteen hours to fifty... and beyond! If you're looking for the experience your Japanese-speaking friends fell in love with back in the days of fan translations and frantically searching online for information on Type-Moon properties, this is it! 

    Imagine that you have an idea for a great Japanese TV-drama, but you decide to make it as a visual novel instead. Wanting to produce as authentic an experience as possible, you hire actors and have them act out every scene in your script as you take multiple photographs depicting every twist and turn in the plot. Imagine the sheer amount of time and labor it would require. Then multiply it by five, let the player switch between these narratives with the ease of hitting a button on a gamepad, and tie them together into a vast meta-narrative. That's 428: Shibuya Scramble, one of the most ambitious visual novels ever created and a game that was famously awarded a score of 40 by the Japanese games rag Famitsu. Despite having an enormous and complicated script, it was localized into English just a year ago. Don't miss out on this bizarre and fascinating video game! If you're a fan of the Yakuza series, you'll be right at home with 428's brand of lunacy.

  Content warnings: Violence, drugs, alcohol, some bad language.

    Umineko: When They Cry is a lot.  A gonzo mystery story that starts as a riff on And Then There Were None, it swiftly mutates into a hundred-hour game of four-dimensional chess. It was made by a small team, scored by the music of the gods, and is fully committed throughout to its brand of sentiment, metaphysical rambling and extreme horror. Some might say that Umineko is overwrought, but that is the point: the game is memorable for its excess, not despite of it. If you're looking for a taste of the full VN experience, complete with shocking twists, a weird obsession with trivia and far too many words, this is the most authentic you can find that's appropriate for all audiences. Please play with the original art! It's charming.

  Content warnings: Parental abuse, blood and gore, people getting killed and suffering fates worse than death at the hands of witches (???). For mature audiences!

    And now we come to [NSFW] Wonderful Everyday, everything your anxious friend told you about visual novels. It's not just that Wonderful Everyday has sex scenes, it's that it takes less time to list what triggering and problematic content is not in the game than what is in it. It references Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus and Cyrano de Bergerac. The game isn't afraid to take huge, unexpected shifts in tone and aesthetic in order to scare or destabilize the player. You might be wondering: why recommend a game like this, which many would find morally abhorrent? All I can say is that Wonderful Everyday is the game that convinced your Japanese-speaking friends to read Wittgenstein. It's a cult classic, a title unavailable in English for years that came with the highest praise imaginable: that it was a profound work of art, that it would change your way of thinking forever. After finally playing through the game two years ago, my feelings were more mixed; but there's no mistaking that few games better personify the visual novel medium's eccentricities, indulgences or shoot-for-the-moon ambition than this shaggy, gross, but fascinating video game.

  Content warnings: suicide, psychological and body horror, multiple variants of sexual assault, extreme bullying, extreme violence, bestiality (thankfully cut down for release in the US!), a transgender character who is handled in a pretty specious way. Many graphic sex scenes. For very mature audiences!

  There's even more great titles out there that I couldn't fit on this list! The high stakes and interface-shattering plot twists of 999. The countless games being made in engines like Ren'Py, Choice of Games and Twine. South Korean visual novels like Nameless and Mystic Messenger. No matter what kind of person or reader you may be, there is a visual novel out there somewhere for you. I wish you luck in your endless journey of discovery!

  Are you a fan of visual novels? Do you have any (safe for work, if possible) recommendations? Please let us know in the comments!

---

Adam W is a features writer at Crunchyroll. When he isn't eagerly awaiting the announcement of the Girls' Work anime by Type Moon, he sporadically contributes with a loose coalition of friends to a blog called Isn't it Electrifying? Follow him on twitter at: @wendeego

Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[belladoesmakeup]

Hey everyone,

The time has come ..... it’s time to talk Fenty Beauty. In the U.K. Fenty Beauty has launched in Boots which for those who don’t know is a drugstore shop that sells highend / drugstore makeup all over the U.K. which means a lot more people can get their hands on it. So before I headed to work I saw queues going down streets to get into Boots on launch day which is amazing but I had to wait until after work and come back to try and get my products.

After work I headed to Boots and I knew roughly what foundation shade I would be and what products I really wanted. I managed to get to the counter and try the testers to see what foundation shade I am which ended up being 120 so I got the foundation in my colour and managed to grab the last primer which I was over the moon about. I also picked up a eyeliner called Flyliner which I love already and the last gloss Bomb in the shade Fenty Glow which I’ve tried previously in the shade Fussy and loved. Obviously this wasn’t a cheap trip but I really wanted to test products out.

So today I wanted to chat about the primer and foundation and in later posts I’ll do eyeliner and gloss Bomb. First off the Fenty Beauty PRO FILT'R Soft Matte Longwear Foundation, like I said earlier after trying some testers I found out I’m shade 120 which is for fair skin with Neutral undertones, I tried 110 but it almost white which even for me was light so I was the 3rd lightest in the collection. (In other foundations I vary from porcelain to soft ivory if that helps for reference.) This foundation is described as a medium to full coverage semi matte foundation which is a accurate description, when you first start using this product it’s definetly medium but it’s easy to build up making it full coverage depending on what you want. 120 couldn’t be a more perfect shade for me and it just feels so lightware on the face it doesn’t cake up and when as this foundation dries matte you don’t have to use so much powder to set your makeup either which feels so much better. This foundation is costs £27.00 which I know isn’t everyone’s ideal price range but it’s so worth the hype and I much prefer it over my Kat Von D and Urban Decay foundations if I’m being honest.

Now with this foundation many recommended getting the primer as it works best with that formula so I picked up the Fenty Beauty Pro Filt'r Instant Retouch Primer which is a soft matte hydrating primer which feels amazing on the skin. It really leaves your skin feeling soft and really does help blend the foundation out lovely. So I do recommend trying the primer when you get the foundation and what’s even better is there is a travel size primer that is 15ml for £17 or 32ml for £24 which I decided to get.

How as you can tell I’m so excited this is finally avaliable in Boots which also means you get your loyalty points which trust me helps out a lot. If you’re interested to try fenty in the UK check out your nearest boots store.

Lots of love

Bella x x

[nitroplushes]

It’s been a while: coursework, heartbreak, depression and moving back home to deal with it all has taken a lot out of me but after a month long break i finally finished Scrappy last night. I'll post some progress pics of the body if anyone wants, it was a freakin nightmare with hardly any reference images avaliable... (I keep my phone in his mouth so Im not tempted to check it late at night)