#finally I'll see Victor again
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victorluvsalice · 11 months ago
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-->And then – success! L. Faba bought the first item of the day by getting a strawberry fizz cupcake! :D And with her leading the way, the sales started pouring in – Victor, done cloudgazing and actually feeling a tiny bit social, came over to chat with customers Dominic and Clara as they bought an everything bagel (Dominic) and some pumpkin spice waffles (Clara), then Alice showed up (having finally finished her painting – also a masterpiece – and unsuccessfully scavenged in the park) just in time to see a few more plates of pumpkin spice waffles and banana split waffles, along with another cupcake and a bagel (L. Faba, returning for another go) get sold. I decided it would be nice to have her commemorate the occasion and had her take a couple of pictures from a couple of different angles of Smiler and the crowd. :) And then, right afterward, I had her grab some leftover pumpkin spice waffles someone had dropped and gobble them down so they wouldn’t go to waste. XD She started cloudgazing behind the crowd while I sent Victor (who wanted to level up his Handiness anyway) to upgrade the weather machine with a “moisture vaporator” so it would be even better at producing clear skies in the future –
And then I got an MCCC Error as Clara came back and got a slice of blueberry pie. *sigh* Oh, Sims 4, why you gotta be this way... I looked at the error log after the fact, and I think Alice was trying to say goodbye to her, but the interaction didn’t go off the way it was supposed to. *shakehead* Hard to tell if these errors are from mods or the damn game itself sometimes...
-->I soldiered on though (not the first time I’ve gotten an error) and had Alice hang out with Victor as he finished up his upgrades, having them talk about her lycanthropy and Victor’s magical status and getting in a little kissing and flower-exchanging while Smiler finished up their food sale. <3 The whole kit-and-kaboodle finally ended at around 6:30 PM in-game, with Smiler making an even $400 in profit (from two cupcakes, three pumpkin spice waffles, five bagels, four banana split waffles, and three slices of blueberry pie), getting level three of the Enterpeneur skill (meaning they can now research business plans if they want) –
And causing their number of thrown “social events” in their Party Animal aspiration to tick up a notch! Apparently food sales count! O.O Well, that’s good to know... Anyway, I had them clean up the food and pack away the stall, then sent them over to go get their flirt on with Victor –
Only for the skies to darken, and the rain to start falling again. Oops – thunderstorms are back! Time to get home before the lighting starts flying!
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speechless-illusions · 1 month ago
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I kept seeing people on Tiktok saying "Suzanne ended Hayffie" "I'm proud I never shipped them" and even trying to flip the narrative and bring the age difference discourse and the "she met him when he was a minor!!" cards to try and make the ship become "problematic" and tie it to the recent "ship police/purity" witch hunt (ironic, after reading a whole book about the dangers of propaganda) so other people turn to hate it now.
And I'm so surprised because to me, an avid Hayffie shipper since day 1 (more than a decade in this ship, I won't get off now or never), Hayffie has never been so validated as with this book. Suzanne has given us SO MUCH CONTENT.
The makeup case scene? Her putting flowers on Haymitch's shirt? Both are very intimate scenes to me. Her being the last one she saw before entering the arena (her eyes being the last thing he focused on before going into that hell) AND first friendly one to see after he got out? Her making sure he knew that even after how the Capitol portrayed him, she believed he was a good person? Her making sure to check on him during the whole time he was in those capitol parties (and we know what depravities the capitol people made victors do. She maybe was checking noone did anything to him)? I even saw a comment on a Hayffie edit saying that in how grey Haymitch's life turned after his games, Effie was there every birthday of his after that, wearing rainbow colored clothes and trying to bring a positive attitude...
YOU CAN'T TELL ME SUZANNE DIDN'T PURPOSELY GIVE US ALL THIS CONTENT OF THEM
I'll admit I was a bit sad after seeing no mention of her in the epilogue and seeing so many people saying the "goose mate for life" thing completely invalidated them. And then I stumbled upon a comment here on Tumblr that made me go investigate and...
It turns out the "Goose mate for life" means once goose choose a partner, they'll be with that parner until one of them dies, then have a long mourning period, but then CAN and sometimes DO find a new partner after all of that.
I CAN'T THINK SUZANNE DIDN'T KNOW THIS. AND I'M THRIVING AT THE IMPLICATIONS
All I hope, and want to believe, is that this book, just as how Haymitch tells his story to Peeta and Katniss, is finally his way to reconcile with everything and with Lenore, to finally let go of the feelings of regret and guilt. And realise he can have someone by his side to help him cross this world before he finally gets reunited with her again in the other. I believe Effie is that person to him and I'll always still do.
P.S. Knowing most of Effie's development and their relationship sparkled from the movies and not the original books I can't help but pray the director of the SOTR movie has something prepared for us... Maybe if the put the epilogue in the movie, we'll see Effie with Haymitch there 👀
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joelswritingmistress · 9 months ago
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Neighbors with Benefits: Part 2 (Joel Miller x f! Reader)
Part of the #hotdilfsummerchallenge put on by @hellishjoel 🙏 Thanks again for this overabundance of Dilfy Pedro content & promotion 🥵
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Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader
Word Count: Roughly 4000
Warning: Dilfy Smut/ Age Gap (23 & 42)
“(Y/N), do you want some money for pizza?" The voice sounded like a distant echo. "(Y/N)... (Y/N)?"
You finally snapped out of a daydream and turned to your mother in the kitchen from the sink where you aimlessly washed dishes. "Huh?"
"Do you want some money to order a pizza or are you going to have something here?" Your mother waited for a response that was taking you an extra long time to give.
"Oh." You cleared your throat and looked at the soapy bowl in your hands, "No... no I'll eat something here."
"Are you sure?"
You nodded. "Yeah there's... soup and stuff."
"Soup?" Your mother asked, "It’s eighty-eighty degrees outside.”
You shrugged. "I had a turkey sub for a late lunch. I'm fine." You managed a smile, "What time will you and Dad be back?"
"Well the banquet starts at seven." She eyed the ceiling as she thought, "I can't see us being out much past ten."
Your father wandered down the stairs straightening his tie that completed a black suit, "How do I look?"
"Dapper dear."
You laughed, "Dapper? Is that still a word?"
"Hey if selfie is a word," your father contested, "Then, yes, dapper is a word. And I'll take it." He kissed your mother on the cheek, "Are we ready to go?"
"Just about." Jennifer glanced at you again.
"I'll be fine." You shoo'd them with your hand, "You guys look great."
Tim reached into his wallet and handed his daughter a twenty. "Just take it," he ordered with a grin when you began to refuse. “In case you change your mind about the pizza.”
"Fine." You smiled and tucked it into your jeans and then kissed them each on the cheek. "Have fun."
The two of them waved and then headed toward the front door, locking it behind them and heading off for the evening.
You continued with the dishes, unable to put the events of the night before out of your mind. You knew you had officially crossed a line - a big line. You had had one of the hottest moments of your life the night before with your much-older neighbor. All day you had kept an eye out for Joel. Once you'd seen him outside watering flowers in the front of the house and another time washing his car. With your parents quite literally over your shoulder it proved to be harder to pursue his offers than you would have thought.
All the more reason to have my own place, you thought.
You turned off the faucet and dried your hands before making your way up into your bedroom. You had begun to feel like a stalker, staking out Joel's every move and looking for some opportunity or excuse to go over there to see him.
"Where ya headed?" Joel's voice filtered in through the open window in your room and you rushed to the window to listen.
You swallowed hard, watching as he sat on a rider lawn mower shouting to your parents who hadn't yet left the driveway.
"Retirement dinner!" Your father shouted, "Open bar!"
"Even better." Joel put his hands out to the sides and gave a wave. "Enjoy!"
You took a breath and saw him kick the mower back into gear before continuing on down the yard. You couldn't take your eyes off of him and only did to watch your parents' vehicle vacate the premises with a friendly double-beep of the horn as they headed a few towns away to a fancy dinner for a friend.
Do I go over there? you wondered. Will I look too desperate? Your heart raced and all of a sudden you felt like you were in high school again - waiting for your parents to leave so you could talk to some guy you were crushing on. Not just some guy, you knew. He was more than you had bargained for in the best of ways.
With a deep breath you took a glance at yourself and changed from the plain, pink t-shirt into a fresh cami from the closet before reapplying some deodorant and giving a spritz from her best Victoria's Secret body spray collection.
I'll just go grab a beer and sit outside, you decided with a nod before ripping the hair-tie from your hair and letting it fall in a naturally messy fashion around your face.
You darted down the steps, reached for a bottle of Bud Lite and headed out the back door to sit on the steps. Your heart was pounding now and flashes of memories from the night before continued to rattle your brain, sending electric currents to every part of your body. You didn't want the encounter to be a one-time ordeal and so when you saw him casually ride up and down in the next yard over you couldn't help but stare.
He's busy. You didn't know if you meant what you were thinking or if you were just scared to go over there and talk to him.
Each second felt like a minute; each minute like an hour. You adjusted from sitting to standing, to sitting again and then decided to pretend to check the mailbox, though you couldn't have cared less if there was mail or not. All you wanted was for Joel to notice you.
Like before, your heart thudded with each step as you crossed the yard and rounded the house that was adjacent to Joel's. His back was to you, and for that you cursed to yourself but you continued the walk toward the driveway, glancing out of the corner of your eye as he put the mower in reverse and turned to face your direction. As your feet waltzed over the pavement you saw him glance over, letting his stare linger as you paced the length of driveway before reaching the mailbox.
You swallowed hard, noting there was nothing to retrieve and then took a deep breath as you prepared your walk back. Again, Joel’s back was to you and he continued what he was doing, mowing perfectly straight rows up and down the lawn.
You sighed, noting it was only halfway done and the impatience that radiated out of you began to drive you mad. Still, next door Joel didn't falter. He carried on with a sense of patience and control that it almost made you feel crazy.
He doesn't seem to be in any rush, why should I?
You sipped your beer again and then reluctantly went in the house when Joel disappeared around the opposite side of his. You scrunched your nose and turned on the television to try to pass some time, though you opened up the living room windows so you could hear the hum of the lawnmower.
You actively felt yourself growing weaker as you relived the moment in the bathroom yet again - his face a few inches from yours while his fingers explored your most sensitive areas. You imagined his inability to control himself in the midst of his climax that left him cursing and moaning with no regard for anything but the way you were making him feel. And his eyes; his eyes burned into your soul and made you submit to him in ways that no other man had. Never in your life had you been enamored so quickly or fallen so hard and fast for someone. It was all brand new and exciting.
It's driving me crazy!
When the lawnmower went off you muted the television and listened, wanting to burst out the front door and run over next door. You knew you couldn't do that - not if you wanted to look like you could handle the passion that was brewing between you and Joel. He wouldn't tolerate some clingy little girl. You knew he needed a woman - a hot, young woman to satisfy him.
You tapped your foot and bit down on your fingernails until they were as short as they could possibly go. As the world grew darker your hopes began to fade. Truthfully, you didn't know if you had the balls to go over and knock on the door of his house. Though, without warning, fate finally appeared to be on your side.
A light knock at the back door made you freeze. Your body went numb and you swallowed hard, able to hear the beating of your own heart. On a second knock, you sprung to your feet and began to rush through the living room. The closer you got, the slower you moved in an attempt to look like you had your shit together. You didn't - not even a little bit. Still, you were addicted to the feeling and the suspense that went along with your short bout of time knowing Joel. If it was anyone else at the back door you knew you might lose it, and so when you flung it open and he stood there still in his yard clothes, you couldn't help but smile as excitement and relief filtered through your body.
"Hi." You smiled at him.
"Hi." Joel's voice cut straight through you. A familiar tantalizing chill ran down your spine.
You stepped aside and held the door, prompting him to slowly ease himself inside. As if it was already a habit he removed his work boots and closed the door behind him, leaving them on a mat so as not to make a mess. The action made you grin and you glanced up at him.
"You, uh... you cool with the shit that went down last night?" Joel asked, leaning against the counter in the kitchen.
You nodded. "Yeah."
"You sure?" The human lie-detector in him studied your features more intently now though he could tell from the smirk you were fighting off, your big excited eyes and the reddening flush in your face that you were being truthful.
"Yeah, I'm sure." You nodded and Joel looked around for a moment. "My parents are... gone."
"Until when?"
"Ten."
His eyes landed on a clock that read seven-thirty-six and then he returned his gaze to meet yours. "The mail doesn't come on Sundays."
"What?" you looked at him, "Yeah, I know..."Your voice trailed off and you felt your face grow a shade darker again.
Joel began to chuckle, "I was sure you did."
You shook your head and sighed, putting your hands on your hips for a moment before casting them out to the sides. He had seen right through your little stroll up the driveway.
"You could've just come over ya know." He gave a closed-mouth smile accompanied by playful eyes.
"I didn't want to bother you when you were mowing the lawn."
Joel smiled, "I was just fuckin’ killing time.. waiting around.. hoping you’d bring by some butter.”
"You were?" You smiled a little wider, pleased to know that you weren’t the only one who felt the anxiety that went along with the cat-and-mouse game you were actively involved in.
"My dick's been hard half the day thinking of last night. Took some serious will power not to fuckin' take care of it myself."
Fuck. What a visual that was.
You giggled but felt that familiar flush in your cheeks again as you leaned back against the counter across from him. Joel grinned when you began to twirl the blinds closed in front of the kitchen window.
For a moment he stared across the room, taking every part of you in from where he stood and eyed each twirl of your fingers around the blinds. When you moved to the next window to assure your privacy, he stalked quietly, waiting for you to begin to close the blinds on the second window before moving in behind to wrap an arm around your midsection.
You felt it again - the electricity. His touch shot currents through your body like you had never experienced. Your eyes closed as he kissed your neck; you whimpered as his fingers carefully undid the button of your jeans. He teased you by letting them dance just an inch or two below your waistline.
Joel reached for your hand, placing it on the front of his jeans and began to nibble on your earlobe. You bit your bottom lip when you felt his hard-on through his pants. "This is what you fuckin' do to me," he whispered.
"Mmm..." you moaned, keeping your eyes closed, "You already know what you do to me,” you told him, pushing his hand farther down your pants so he could feel the dampness that had lingered there since seeing him out on the lawn mower.
He moaned against you, pushing his erection against you from behind and continued to ravage your ear. "I've been dreaming of what you feel like all day." Joel continued to whisper, becoming more aroused by the second.
"God..." you pressed your eyes shut, your arousal spiking now from his words. When you felt his hands sweep down over the thin straps of your cami, you slunk your arms out of it, allowing him the access to grasp both of your breasts from behind. His hot breaths continued to land on your neck. When you heard him undo his zipper you almost couldn't take it. You sighed out loud and reciprocated his advances when he bent you over in front of the back door so your hands were pressed firmly against it.
Joel dropped his pants, stepping out of them with ease and removed himself from the black boxer-briefs he was left standing in. With a swift move he fingered your underwear to the side and positioned himself so at your entrance.The anticipation was almost too much.
You bit your bottom lip and closed your eyes as you waited those long couple of seconds until finally feeling him for the first time. Inch by inch he eased in.When Joel pushed fully inside of you, you moaned
“Ughh…”. His deep, desperate breaths from behind made you feel weaker in the knees, though when his big, strong hands clamped down on the outsides of your hips and he started thrusting you were taken to a whole new level of pleasure.
"Fuck..." You were barely able to get the word out as he wasted no time, pumping hard and relentlessly into you; though when he didn’t stop you couldn’t contain yourself. “Oh..my..God.” You couldn’t hold it in.
Joel closed his eyes, switching his hands from your hips to her shoulders. He tried to remain in control of the feeling, but everything about you got the best of him. The way your back was arched; the way his name echoed off the kitchen walls as you moaned uncontrollably. You couldn’t help it.
As a man who often prided himself on control, Joel was the one who was overwhelmed with a desire so intense that he felt like he could come already at any second. It was why he was forced to pull out, replacing his dick with fingers so he could continue to pleasure you.
“Joel.” You whined his name and your fingers curled against the door, widening your feet again to assure he could do whatever he wanted. Your head dropped and your midsection went weak. “Fuck.” When he removed his fingers this time he pulled you back to him, spinning your around to face him and then crashed his lips against yours.
Joel's tongue dominated you and you wrapped your arms around him. Both of you moaned together as you took a breath in the kiss before he picked you up by the backs of your legs and set you down on the kitchen counter so you faced him. For another few seconds you continued to make out fiercely until he finally reconnected himself to you again at the edge of the marble.
You met his half-open eyes as he proceed to fuck you raw. You wrapped an arm around his shoulders and left the other pressed firmly into the counter with your calves digging into the backs of his legs. He appeared as if he was barely hanging on, though everything he was doing was effectively leading you toward an orgasm.
Your eyes closed now and your fingers dug into the back of his shoulders. You tightened your legs around him and whimpered. It left your thighs aching; your stomach taut. The strength of what was building was mind-blowing, and you begged him not to stop as you let yourself go, releasing a moan you didn’t know you had in you. It was primal and raw, accompanying a burst of pleasure that pulsed with such ferocity that Joel groaned from the recognition of your climatic moment.
"Holy fuck..” He barely got the second word out and gripped your hips harder before releasing inside of you, complimenting your orgasm with a powerful one of his own. Joel let out a guttural moan and had trouble catching his breath as the feeling lingered. Joel kissed you hard as he finished completely, leaving an ache on your lips as he breathed his final breaths into your mouth.
You held onto him hard. Sweat coated his heaving back beneath your palms as he breathed heavily and rested his forehead against yours, now dormant inside of you.
"Fuck," he whispered against your lips and pulled your hips closer to his, thrusting slowly into you once more as if to assure you had gotten every single drop from him.
"Mmm..." you hummed a moan, keeping your arms slung loosely around him. In that moment, you knew you could easily get in too deep, too fast.
When his lips lazily danced against yours again you felt the same electricity as when he'd first entered the house. Your new mission was not to fall in love.
"Any of them college boys ever fuck you like that?" Joel whispered, half-smirking with heavy, satisfied eyes. He hummed another quiet moan and nibbled sensually on your earlobe.
Your senses hadn't quite turned to normal and your face glowed a shade darker. You breathed out the word, “No.”
Joel pecked your lips a few more times in a row before finally separating himself from you.
All of it still felt a bit surreal. For the first time ever you didn't have a care in the world for what kind of consequences could stem from your actions. Joel didn't take his eyes off of you. The lazy post-coital gleam in his eye was unmistakable and you finally chuckled when he failed to look away from here.
"What?" you tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
Joel's face twisted into a mischievous smirk. "Let me see your phone." He kissed you once more before pushing back off the counter to retrieve his pants from the floor.
"My phone?"
"Yeah," he chuckled, "Your phone." Joel began to get dressed and you slowly slunk off the countertop, feeling a heaviness in your thighs.
You glanced around the kitchen, not wholly aware of where you'd left it and then reached a few feet away across the counter when it finally caught your eye.
Joel waited patiently, still smirking to himself. "Punch the code in, honey."
You did as he asked and were tempted to ask what he was doing, but ultimately decided you had nothing to hide and slipped the phone into his waiting palm.
"What the hell was that friend of yours name from the bar last night?" He asked.
You pressed her eyebrows together, a small bout of jealousy filling your body. "Holly. Why?"
Joel kept his eyes on the small screen in front of him, letting his tongue dance over his lips in amusement as his thumbs began to type away at the screen.
The anxious butterflies returned to your stomach and you were dying to know what he was writing.
Joel continued to smirk, almost laughing to himself, and then a noise went off that indicated he'd successfully sent a text message. "Here." He tossed the phone back and sat down at a chair at the kitchen table, crossing one foot over the other, waiting in anticipation as you read what he'd written.
Your eyes scanned the screen and you couldn't contain a wide grin when you saw that he had texted her parents claiming you were spending the night at Holly's house.
When your eyes lifted to meet his, Joel maintained a smile and waited for what you would say.
You decide to tease him. "I'm not staying at Holly's house tonight."
"I know." He nodded matter-of-factly.
You snickered, knowing what he was getting at. "What about my car? My parents will see it in the garage."
Joel waved a hand again, requesting the phone back.
You handed it over, smiling as he sent another message before tossing it back to you again.
"Holly is on her way to pick me up," you read aloud.
Joel cleared his throat and then rested his hands behind his head. Before either of you could say anything more your phone went off and he chuckled, prompting you to put your finger to your lips over an ear-to-ear grin.
"Now, I thought you were an adult and could do whatever the fuck you wanted." He winked and you fought back a laugh as you answered the phone.
"Hi Mom." You made eye contact with Joel who you knew was gaining far too much amusement from the situation. "Yeah I'll text you when we get to her house... no we're not going out drinking." You paused, “Yeah I'll get us some pizza with the money." Another pause. "Okay, goodnight."
When you hung up the phone you eyed Joel again who appeared more than satisfied about the situation. "How will I get back over here without being noticed?"
“I've put all the pieces of this plan into motion,” he reminded you, “Time for you to be creative." Joel slipped his boots back on. "I'm going to shower," he informed you.
“Okay.” You reached down for your jeans, still standing next-to-naked in the center of the kitchen.
Joel made his way back to you, resting his fingers beneath your chin and tapping just under your lips with his thumb. He then leaned down and gave you a chaste kiss. "Pack a bag. I'll leave my back door unlocked."
CLICK HERE FOR PART 3
@pedropascal111 @axshadows @smolbeanzzz
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mrs-kmikaelson · 2 years ago
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Our Song and Dance³
Pairing: Finnick Odair x reader Summary: You'd grown used to dancing the same dance over and over again, the victor's dance, but then you start dancing with Finnick Odair and you feel things you never thought you'd feel. So you let yourself enjoy the dance, even though you knew that every song inevitably came to an end. Warnings: long, exploitation of minors, mentions of forced prostitution, suicidal thoughts, implied torture, violence, complicated relationships, complex mental health issues, and i involve finnick more in everything Words: 8.1K
Masterlist | Part 4
a/n: switching it up, so this part is from finnick's pov. it's basically mockingjay one, then i'll do one more part for mockingjay 2. ly guys!
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Finnick Odair was not sure that love existed. Or, at least he wasn’t. He could barely remember what his parents looked like, let alone if they loved each other. But he had Mags; she proved to him that love existed because he loved her. It was the falling in love that he was unsure about.
And then he met Annie Cresta and it was like he suddenly understood. Yes, this was what the poets were talking about. This was love. 
But they couldn’t be together.
He was being sold off all the time, taking countless visits to the Capitol. He couldn’t endanger her like that, let her get involved in the fucked up world he lived in. So he didn’t. He loved her from afar, knowing they’d never really be together.
He thought it’d end there, but then one night, he saw you. Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was all his own will, but he walked up to you. He’d seen you at these events before, back home, and on TV, but standing there so close to you, it was like it was just hitting him how beautiful you were.
You were a victor, too. But he realized just how alike you were when he watched as you left a hotel room, in the same state as him. After that, it was you who took a chance on him until he almost looked forward to coming to the Capitol, just to see you.
You weren’t Annie. You didn’t remind him of what poets had written. No, he couldn’t describe you or what you meant to him in just words. What he grew to feel for you over time wasn’t akin to anything he’d ever read. This was so much more than that.
He loved Annie, he always would, but being with you made him realize what it was like to be in love.
But he never told you this, never said any of it out loud out of fear that he’d lose you.
Now he lost you, anyway.
The doors to his hospital room opened. He knew it was Katniss, but he didn’t say anything, staring right at the ground in front of him.
If he looked hard enough, he could see your face.
“Finnick.”
He looked up from his feet, but still didn’t look at her. He already knew what she looked like, and it wasn’t much better than him.
She was mad at him. She’d barely spoken to him since they got to 13, but he knew that she couldn’t have been much more mad at him than he already was at himself.
His voice was quiet when he spoke. “I wanted to go back for them—for Peeta, and Johanna, and Y/N… but I- I couldn’t move.” He twiddled his fingers with the rope in his hands, wishing it was your hand he was holding, but he wasn’t. You weren’t there. He left you.
He finally looked up at Katniss. She looked both emotionless and so emotional at the same time, lifeless but alive. “I- I love her, y’know?” He looked back down at the knot he was tying, sniffling involuntarily.
He was trying to keep it together, but without you, that was like trying to fix a broken glass without any glue. 
You were the glue that held him together.
And now the Capitol had you.
The words left his lips without much thought. “I wish she was dead.” He chose to stare at a spot on the ground instead of looking at Katniss’ reaction. His chest tightened. “I wish they were all dead and we were, too.”
If they had died, then at least they wouldn’t have been going through this, having to live but feeling so dead, anyway.
Katniss was silent until he eventually heard her leave the room.
There were words she didn’t say that still floated around the room, agreement that she didn’t voice. She was just as broken as him, holding on for dear life. He hoped that she’d keep holding on.
He had to have hope. He had to have hope that he’d see you again, that this wasn’t all for nothing, that they could build a better world that you could both live in. He needed to hope.
That hope was the only thing that kept him holding on, too.
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He was in the cafeteria, sitting next to Katniss and Annie when it happened. The fanfare started playing, Caesar Flickerman’s face coming to the screen. He scoffed, tuning out and looking back down at the food on his plate, swishing it around. Recently, it had been hard for him to work up an appetite.
He looked back up when Katniss grabbed his hand, hers trembling. He soon realized why.
It was Peeta, on the Capitol TV.
Katniss got up, walking to the TV and standing right in front of it, shocked. He would’ve gotten up and followed her, tried to console her, but it was as if he was paralyzed.
Peeta was on the TV.
And you were nowhere in sight.
He heard the conversation that had everyone on the edge of their seat through muffled ears. Peeta didn’t look exactly like himself, but he still looked like the golden boy Panem fell in love with. It was so obvious that the Capitol was using him, playing him like a puppet, but what confused him was that they were using him and not the much more powerful weapon they had in their arsenal.
You were the Princess of Panem. Plutarch and Coin knew that; that’s why they wanted you. Katniss could light a fire, but if they also had you, then together you could cause an explosion. If the Capitol wanted to sway public opinion, why wouldn’t they just use you, someone who the people trusted and adored?
Suddenly, his stomach fell.
If they weren’t using you, then it was because you weren’t in a condition to be shown to the public.
He felt a hand on his, turning his head to see it was Annie, looking at him with a sympathetic expression. As if she could hear his thoughts, the smallest of sad smiles grew on her lips.  “It’s gonna be okay, Finnick,” she whispered. “Everything’s going to be okay.”
How the tables had turned. Now it was her assuring him.
In that moment, he understood Annie like never before.
Because he wasn’t so sure she was right.
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After Peeta’s interview, Finnick didn’t leave his room much. He’d lie in bed and stare up at the ceiling, pretending that you were there with him. He could withstand the silence if he had you by his side.
But now, the silence was deafening.
Sometimes, he didn’t hear a thing. Other times, your voice would fill the gaps, memories of you flashing before his eyes like a movie. Sometimes, they weren’t memories at all. Sometimes, he imagined a different life for you where you were both happy, in love.
And, sometimes, he imagined what they could’ve been doing to you in the Capitol.
Whenever these awake-nightmares got too vivid, he’d find Katniss and sit with her, knowing she must have been going through the same thing. It was what you would’ve done, what you did with him and Johanna.
You wouldn’t have wanted them to suffer alone.
The next time he was around everyone else, it was per Coin’s request. She announced to them all that Katniss agreed to be The Mockingjay and that, in return, she’d look for an opportunity to extract you, the victors that had been taken.
Katniss moved next to him. “Finnick, I made the deal for Y/N, too.”
It was like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Hope—this was hope.
“Good,” he said. For the first time since he left the arena, he smiled. “That’s good, Katniss.” A small chuckle left him.
Maybe he’d get a chance to make those dreams of his a reality.
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With a newfound ardour, Finnick threw himself back into the ring instead of avoiding the fight like he had been, sitting in on meetings and doing whatever he could to make this work. He would see you again; he’d make sure of it. 
He went with the propo team to 8, watching as the Girl on Fire did exactly what they’d all been waiting for her to do. He wasn’t the only one that was hopeful—so were people in the districts, the people in 13.
They played her propo at the next assembly. The crowd cheered, but as he stood with The Mockingjay herself on the sidelines, she didn’t look so cheerful. Finnick understood this, he understood it well, but he couldn’t afford to think like that with your life hanging in the balance.
She shouldn’t have to either, he thought.
He leaned closer to her, quizzing, “You don’t like hearing a fight song at a funeral, huh?” She looked up at him almost in the same way she did when he made that joke in the arena. At the memory of your response, a small smile arose on his face. “The more people on our side, the closer we are to Peeta and Y/N,” he reminded her.
She nodded, muttering, “Yeah,” and then turning back to the crowd. She didn’t look so convinced, but he left it there, knowing she was coping with this in her own way.
If Katniss loved Peeta even half as much as he loved you, then he’d let her do whatever she felt comfortable with.
But at the end of the day, it was love that kept them both going.
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The next time Peeta was on TV, it was a wake up call for everyone. He didn’t look so refined anymore, so clean. There were bags under his eyes. He looked like he hadn’t slept or eaten in days.
If this was what Peeta looked like and they still had him on TV, then what about you? 
A bile rose in his throat. He ran to the nearest trash can and threw up whatever they served that morning for breakfast, your face flashing underneath his eyelids. You weren’t smiling like in the dreams he had, but screaming.
He knew you weren’t dead, that the Capitol wouldn’t kill you, but when he pictured your face, you didn’t look so alive.
Oh, he wished he could’ve made you smile more. But in the world you lived in, sometimes it was too hard to even do that.
That’s why we’re doing this, he reminded himself. We’re trying to build a better world. But there were no words that Coin could say to shake the guilt he felt, guilt for leaving you, guilt for being the reason this happened to you. There was no band-aid he could put over this wound, no pills that could kill this pain.
But he had to push through it, and he couldn’t do that by sitting in his room by himself; every time he closed his eyes, he saw you. So he went to Katniss’ room, finding her in a position so similar to his own.
That was the man she loved on TV, even if she hadn’t come to terms with her feelings. She must have been just as guilty as him, if not more so. Finnick could remember a time when he rejected his feelings for you, too, scared of caring for somebody, scared of this happening.
He went through the Hunger Games and the Quarter Quell, being sold when he was only sixteen, but falling in love with you was the scariest thing he’d ever experienced.
If that’s how Katniss felt, then he didn’t want her to be alone, not when she reminded him so much of you.
So he sat next to her in silence, letting all of the words he wanted to say hang in the air, hoping that she heard them. They sat there wordlessly until Gale came in, telling them it was time to go, that they were going to 12.
It was only when he was about to leave that he finally spoke, deciding that these were words he had to make sure that she heard, words that he needed to hear, too.
“We’re gonna get them back, Katniss.” 
She looked at him, forming somewhat of a smile and nodding. After staring at her for a few seconds, he left the room, going to get ready.
She didn’t know it, but the entire hovercraft ride on the way to 12, he repeated those same exact words to himself over and over again.
We’re gonna get them back.
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While nothing could really ease Finnick’s worries, seeing the people fight back certainly helped. The revolution was picking up traction. The videos they shot in 12 had moved people so much that they were willing to put themselves at risk, just out of hope for a better Panem.
If they could do that, then he could, too.
He wondered if you knew about any of this, if you were even aware of what was happening or if the Capitol was just keeping you in the dark. Did you know? Did you hear Katniss sing?
Did it remind you of him the same way it reminded him of you?
He had so many questions, and so little answers.
Rebels in district 5 bombed a hydroelectric dam, cutting power in the Capitol. Not long after, Peeta Mellark was back on TV, talking about it. He no longer even looked like himself. He didn’t look like a victor, but like someone who had lost.
But Finnick supposed that was what a victor was.
Beetee managed to get through the Capitol’s firewall, cutting Peeta off with Katniss’ propo. They watched as tears filled his eyes on screen.
That was the first time he looked like himself.
Are you, are you comin’ to the tree?
He faltered. “Katniss?”
Finnick watched as Katniss got closer to the screen, shaking her head. She saw it, too. She saw the man that went into that arena with them.
But then, like a victor would, his mask went back up so quickly. 
“The attack on the dam was a callous and inhuman act of destruction-”
Where a dead man called out for his love to flee.
Peeta inhaled shakily, his lips so slightly quivering. “Think about it,” he said. “How will this end? What will be left?” Finnick walked closer to the screen, like he was caught in a trance. Peeta’s previously calm façade had broken and was replaced with someone who looked stricken by panic. “No one can survive this. No one is safe now. Not here in the Capitol.” He shook his head. “Not in any of the districts.” 
He stopped, looking right into the camera as if he was staring into Katniss’ eyes. He may not have known it, but he was.
“They’re coming, Katniss. They’re gonna kill everyone.” They heard quick footsteps behind the camera as Peeta rushed to get his words out. “And in district 13 you’ll be dead by morning-”
Then the camera cut out.
Finnick didn’t know what to say, glancing over at Katniss to see her cupping her mouth in shock.
Haymitch was much more calm. With Katniss spinning out, he had to be. “He’s warning us. That was a warning.” Behind him, Boggs said something in agreement.
Katniss looked to have gotten over her shock, frantically turning and fretting, “We have to get him out before they kill him.” She was ignored.
What about you? he wondered. Where did this leave you? But right now, what they needed to worry about was where it left them.
Otherwise, you wouldn’t have anything to come home to.
“It’s time for an air raid drill.” Seconds after Coin spoke, an alarm went off. Everyone that’d been fixed to their spot in the room was up, like they’d been preparing for this for a lifetime, and from what he heard, they had been.
Katniss went running, searching for her sister while he went looking for Annie and Mags, grabbing them and descending down the stairwell as soon as he saw them. Adrenaline pumped through his veins, his mind blank, just as it was in the arena.
If he let his thoughts take control, then he’d lose it, and he couldn’t do that right now. He couldn’t slip up right now with what was at stake.
It was your life on the line.
He couldn’t lose you.
But a part of him knew that, the second you were in Snow’s hands, the you that he knew was lost forever.
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Down in the bunker, Finnick sat on the bottom bunk with Mags off resting by herself while Annie had fallen asleep at the top. Sometimes, with her episodes, it was easy to forget that she was a victor, too, that she had danced the same dance you had. But she was, and she was dancing like never before.
He could tell that she had been trying hard to keep it together, but with all of the panic and the noise, it was hard. She fell asleep easily. 
Although the bunker was pretty quiet, his thoughts were still so loud. The last time he saw you played out in his head. He could still taste your lips on his, still feel your soft skin, still see your beautiful eyes.
I’ll see you at midnight?
Yeah, I’ll see you at midnight.
But he didn’t. He never saw you again. He would’ve never let you go if he’d known then what’d happen. He would’ve held you longer, kissed you longer. He would’ve told you he loved you.
If he’d known this’d happen, he would’ve told you long before The Games. The truth was, he couldn’t pinpoint exactly when he fell in love with you. It had always been Annie for him, and you were just there.
But that was exactly it. You were there. You were always there. 
Maybe he started falling for you after the first time you slept together. Maybe it was after your fifth time mentoring together. Maybe it was after the time he had a nightmare and you let him hold you. Maybe it was after you smiled, and really smiled, for the first time since you decided to start pretending to be a couple. He couldn’t be sure, but somewhere along the way, you became so much more to him than just Y/N Y/L/N, Princess of Panem and victor of the 67th Hunger Games.
You became the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.
He just wished he could’ve told you that.
He was pulled out of his thoughts when someone walked up to him. “Hey.” He looked up, seeing Katniss. She looked beat, her voice quiet. “Can I sit?”
He nodded, moving over so she could sit next to him. She had her family down here, that’s why he hadn’t gone over to her, but he understood why she was coming to him. After going through what they went through, it was easier to be around people who went through the same thing, who were going through the same thing.
Like she was reading his mind, she asked, “Are you thinking about her?”
There wasn’t any need for further explanation. Truthfully, he answered, “Yeah,” looking down at the ground. Every moment he had that wasn’t dedicated to this revolution was spent thinking about you.
After a second, she spoke up again. “Snow’s using her to punish you. He’s taunting us with them.” She scoffed a little. “I didn’t understand that until just now watching that stupid cat.”
She was right. This wasn’t just about propaganda. This was about Snow’s little puppets misbehaving.
So now he was showing them that, even in 13, he still owned them. He still owned Finnick. He still owned Katniss. He still owned Johanna. He still owned Peeta. And he still owned you.
He was using you against him because he knew how much you meant to him, the same way he knew how much Peeta meant to Katniss, even if she didn’t see that herself.
Finnick sighed, debating on whether or not he should say what he was thinking or keep it to himself before deciding that he had held enough in, that holding his thoughts in had never done him any good. So he turned to Katniss and started, “I- Y/N and I, we hadn’t met until after she won her Games. We weren’t really friends, at first, but rumours start fast in the Capitol, especially when ‘royalty’ is involved.” He humourlessly chuckled. “People were saying that we were dating, and so she- she thought the best thing for us to do was to let them believe it, let them have their love story. The alternative, two people coping together- that was a lot darker than what the Capitol could handle.”
She tilted her head, furrowing her brows. He watched as she put it all together. “Wait, are you saying that…”
He nodded. “Yes. It was fake. Our love story was just that: a story.” Surprise was painted all over her face.
“But… you told me that you love her.”
A ghost of a smile came to his face. “I do. I love her. It wasn’t like that at first, but over time, I fell for her, Katniss.” He saw a look pass over her face: understanding. What he was describing wasn’t just you and him; it was her and Peeta. “Y/N and I, we learned how to play the game. If anyone could spot a fake relationship, it was us. After your first Games, we thought your whole romance was an act. We expected you to continue that strategy. But it wasn’t until Peeta’s heart stopped and he nearly died that… I knew I’d misjudged you. You love him.”
Katniss looked away, like what he was saying was something she’d never even considered. It was so clear to everyone that she loved him, everyone but herself.
“I’m not saying in what way,” he added, understanding her feelings so well because he’d right where she was. “Maybe you don’t even know yourself. But anyone paying attention can see it.” He maintained his stare, even as she looked away.
With the life they lived, you didn’t want to give yourself to love, to admit that to yourself, to allow yourself to be vulnerable. But you could only hide a love so strong for so long.
She swallowed, gaze still aimed at the floor. “How do you live with it?”
You’re asking the wrong person, he thought, but that wasn’t an acceptable answer. That wasn’t the answer she was looking for. Right now, Katniss was lost; he needed to point her in the right direction.
Even if he still had trouble doing that for himself.
He paused for a moment, searching for the right words to say. “I drag myself outta nightmares and there’s no relief in waking up,” he confessed. “But I- sometimes, when I’m awake, I let myself dream about her.” Finally, she looked over to him. “I dream that, one day, when this is all over, we’re living in a better world, happy.” The corners of his lips quirked up at the thought. “It’s hope, Katniss. That’s how I live with it.”
Katniss eyes were dull, red, tired, but even in the darkness of the bunker, he was able to see a tiny spark light up in her eyes.
Hope.
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They’d fallen asleep in the bunker along with everyone else until Finnick woke up to Boggs shaking him, telling him that they had to go. Coin wanted Katniss to get in front of the camera, tell Panem that they were still standing after the attack.
But, as soon as they stepped outside, he watched her fall apart.
Roses.
A rose?
They’re a Capitol favourite.
You hated roses. Looking at them himself, he couldn’t even blame Katniss. He felt sick, too.
She couldn’t do it. She was almost hysterical, so of course Boggs let her go. They couldn’t put her on TV when she was like this. But they also didn’t have time to wait.
With Katniss gone, Haymitch and Boggs pulled him aside to a briefing room, getting started on a new plan.
“Okay, what are we doing?”
They gave each other a look, much like the look Plutarch and Haymitch traded right after the Quell, like they knew something he didn’t, like they were getting ready for him to explode.
“Finnick, the dam that went down in district 5 cut power in most of the Capitol,” Haymitch started. “Their defences are down—Beetee’s gonna be able to get in now.”
His brows furrowed. He already knew that. 
Sensing his confusion, Boggs cut in, “We’ve gotten word that the victors are in the Tribute Centre.”
Suddenly, it was like his heart stopped.
You were coming home.
He echoed his thoughts. “You’re going to get them?”
“Yes, I’ll be leading the mission-”
“Well, I’m coming.” Again, they both shared a look, like they were expecting him to say that, and why wouldn’t they? You were his girlfriend; of course, he wanted to be there to save you. 
“Finnick-”
He cut Boggs off a second time, repeating himself, “I am coming with you.”
“I’m afraid I can’t let you do that.”
He scoffed. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
“Finnick-”
“If you’re going to get Y/N, then I’m coming with you-”
“You are too valuable to this revolution for them to let you go,” Haymitch said, but Finnick really couldn’t give a damn about whatever reason they threw at him. You were all he could think about.
“I’m not just gonna sit here and do nothing while they’re being rescued,” he retaliated. For over a month, sitting around and doing nothing was practically all he’d been doing, fantasizing about you, unknowing of when he’d see you again or if he’d ever see you again, trying to imagine what you could’ve been going through.
He couldn’t just stand by while you were in a live or die situation.
If you died- no, he cut his thoughts off, refusing to finish the sentence.
You couldn’t die.
Haymitch sighed, glancing away before looking back at him. His eyes were always hard, but at that moment, Finnick saw flashes of sympathy. “You won’t be doing nothing.”
His eyes slightly narrowed. “What do you mean?”
The two shared another look before he told him, “Katniss can’t record right now. But you can.”
Another scoff left his lips, an incredulous look on his face as his voice was laced with sarcasm. “You want me to film a propo while you save Y/N?”
Haymitch didn’t respond right away, just staring at him like he was trying to properly articulate his words. The way he was looking at him unnerved him, like whatever he was gonna say could shatter him into a million pieces.
“Not a propo, Finnick,” he finally said, hesitation evident in his tone. “It’s a lot more than that.”
And, as Haymitch explained to him what they wanted him to do, Finnick learned just how much more that was.
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Finnick Odair. That was a name synonymous with royalty, luxury, desire. Before he even met you, that was the name he’d built for himself—or, rather, the name that was thrusted into his arms.
A sex symbol.
When you won your Games, he could remember listening to the Capitol chatter. Stunning, refined, intelligent: a princess. You both already had so much in common, both from the same district, both so young when you won, but suddenly, as he watched you leave that hotel room that night in the Capitol, he realized that you had much more in common than he thought.
You were one and the same.
Those nights you spent together in the Capitol, out in the cold, you were silent. And then, even as you spoke to big Capitol fishes and gave speeches, you were still silent then, too, never speaking out about the injustices you’d been faced with.
Now, Finnick stood outside in the darkness, cold, but this time, you weren’t next to him. You weren’t next to him, and that was because Snow took you.
So he wasn’t going to stay silent anymore.
You deserved better than that.
He glanced around, almost as if he was trying to tell if his surroundings were real, if he was really doing this. 
He looked back when Cressida called his name, a careful look on her face. “Yeah,” he said, conveying he was okay without saying it, even if he really wasn’t. 
She didn’t look very convinced, but she still responded, “Okay.” She paused. “Take your time. Just remember to keep talking and don’t stop.”
He lightly nodded, looking up in front of him, seeing his breath in the air. For a moment, he was silent, but that moment didn’t last long. 
He had been silent for far too long already.
“This is Finnick Odair. Winner of the 65th Hunger Games,” he introduced himself, even though he knew that anyone watching must have recognized him right away. “And I’m coming to you from district 13, alive and well. We’ve survived an assault from the Capitol,” he recited. “But I’m not here to give you recent news.”
What he was going to tell them was much more than news about this rebellion. What he would reveal was about a war that’d started long before this rebellion ever did.
“I come with something much more valuable.”
I haven’t dealt in anything as common as money in years.
Well, then how do people pay for the pleasure of your company?
“The truth. The truth about being a victor, about being royalty.” Bitterness seeped through his tone. “Not the myths about a life of luxury. Not the lie about glory for your homeland.” He looked straight at the camera. “You can survive the arena. But the moment you leave, you’re a slave.”
We will never be free, Y/N.
He took in a breath before he spoke his next words, knowing that they held power stronger than a weapon. He may as well have been pointing the gun at his own head. But if he had to get burned to burn down the Capitol, then he would do it. He would do it a thousand times over.
And so would you.
“President Snow used to sell me. Or my body, at least. I wasn’t the only one.” Your face flashed in his mind. “If a victor is considered desirable, the President gives them as a reward or allows people to buy them. If you refuse, he kills someone you love.” Johanna.
It’s not fair. He killed her family. She said no, and he killed her family.
I know. It’s not fair, I know.
It was never fair. No riches or glory could ever be enough to compensate for that.
“To make themselves feel better, my patrons would make presents of money or jewelry. But I found a much more valuable form of payment.” The corners of his lips upturned slightly to form a small, humourless smile. “Secrets.”
The secrets he knew had the power to rip apart the Capitol’s so called “peace” at the seams. For him, for Katniss, for Johanna, for Peeta, for Annie, for you—this peace had fallen apart ages ago.
Katniss was forced to become the voice of thousands when she could barely do that for herself. Johanna turned to rage. Peeta turned to charm. Annie lost her mind. And you… what about you? 
It was about time that this peace was destroyed. It was about time that people understood exactly what victors really lost. And that Panem’s monsters weren’t hiding under the bed.
They were sitting on thrones.
“See, I know all the depravity, the deceit, and the cruelty of the Capitol’s pampered elite. But the biggest secrets are about our good President, Coriolanus Snow.” The biggest monster of them all. “Such a young man when he rose to power. Such a clever one to keep it. How, you may ask, did he do it?” He paused, looking right at the camera as if he was looking right into Snow’s eyes.
He hoped he was watching.
He hoped he was watching as they burned the Capitol to the ground.
“One word.” He lit the match. “Poison.” And then he dropped it.
“He stopped every mutiny before it even started. There are so many mysterious deaths to adversaries. Even to allies who were threats.” He could remember being at one of those dinners, watching a man fall onto his plate, his life over so quickly.
Once you were on the playing board, it didn’t matter how powerful you were. To Snow, you were all just pawns that he could knock off the board easily.
Not anymore.
“Snow would drink from the same cup to deflect suspicion. But… antidotes don’t always work, which is why he wears roses that reek of perfume. Help cover the scent of blood from sores in his mouth that will never heal.”
When Finnick learned this, he could remember the feeling he had, the satisfaction in knowing that a man who had spilled so much blood was bleeding himself. It was karmic.
How ironic was that?
“But he can’t hide the scent of who he really is,” he continued, remembering Cressida’s words. Don’t stop. “He kills without mercy. He rules with deception and fear. His weapon of choice is the only thing suited to such a man. Poison.” He scoffed. 
“The perfect weapon for a snake.”
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Moments after Finnick’s last words, they were off the air. Cressida’s hand went to her ear, a dark look passing over her face. The Capitol air defence system’s coming back online, she said, and she didn’t get to say much else before he went running inside.
Much like every other day he’d spent in 13, your face came to his mind, but this time was different. This time, they went in to save you.
What if they couldn’t?
No, they had to bring you back- they had to.
He ran and ran until he got to ops, seeing Katniss crying in Haymitch’s arms. As soon as she saw him, she latched onto him and he reciprocated her hug tightly. He had to hold on. He had to.
He wouldn’t survive the fall if he let go.
He knows, he knows they’re in the Tribute Centre, she cried, and then for the second time that day, his heart stopped. He knew. Snow knew about the rescue mission.
His ears rang, eyes going blurry. And then things got a little blurry after that, too. Eventually, he ended up back in his room by himself. He didn’t know how he got there, but he did. All he could hear was your voices in his head.
No, you are coming home-
Finni-
We are both coming come. We are both coming home, Y/N, I swear.
He was supposed to protect you. He promised. He promised you that you would both make it home. But now where were you? You weren’t with him.
You never came home.
At one point, Annie came in, trying to be of some consolation, but she ended up leaving, unable to get through to him. He couldn’t hear her over your conversations that replayed in his head on a loop.
I told you. I’m not letting you die.
A tear raced down his cheek. He knew that you were maybe still alive, that you still had a chance, but that didn’t matter. It was never supposed to get to this point. He was never supposed to let it get to this point, a point where you could be dead.
He was supposed to bring you home.
Yeah, I’ll see you at midnight.
The doors suddenly slid open and Katniss walked in, breaking him out of his spell. He wiped the tears that’d fallen, clearing his throat. “Is there any news?”
Solemnly, she shook her head. “No.” He sighed as she sat down next to him, a big exhale leaving her lips, too. Both of them had passed the point of exhaustion, but it wasn’t like they could rest. Finnick wasn’t sure that he could sleep if he tried.
With this song playing so loudly, how could he?
Katniss was dancing the same dance as him, fighting the same battles. The man she loved was out there, too. She must have been just as scared as him.
They sat in silence for a while until she broke it, her voice raspy and just above a whisper. “Finnick?”
He turned to see her looking down at the ground. “Yeah?”
“I-” she stammered. It was only when she looked up at him that he saw the look in her eyes and knew why she was so nervous.
He shook his head. “It’s fine-”
She scoffed. “No, it’s not- it’s not fine-”
“Katniss-”
She cut him off. “I’m sorry.” Her words made him swallow. He knew she was going to speak them, but for some reason, hearing them was so different, surreal. She exhaled again, maintaining eye contact. “I am sorry.”
Finnick looked away. It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate her apology, but he felt uncomfortable, looking into her eyes and just seeing the pure sorrow, pity. No, Katniss hadn’t been through exactly what he had, but at that moment, looking into her eyes was like looking into a mirror.
He couldn’t handle that right now, not when he stood at the top of the tallest mountain in the world and had such a long way to fall, everything to lose. 
He nodded, accepting her apology without words. It wasn’t her fault. She didn’t know, she didn’t know him back then. She hadn’t been a victor long enough to know yet. If anything, he was glad that she didn’t get to know their world, that she wasn’t sucked up by the same darkness that took you and him.
He was glad that her and Peeta got time in the sun, even if it was only for a little while.
“Y/N…” At the sound of your name, he turned back to her, seeing her brows furrow, eyes glazed over. “When I met her, she said something to me.” Realization flashed across her face as she looked up. “Was- was she-”
He cut her off, “Yeah. Yeah, she was.” When he blinked, he saw you walking out of that hotel room, the look on your face. He’d never forget the way you looked at him that night.
May the odds be ever in your favour, darling.
“There were more,” he admitted. “Any victor that the Capitol found desirable was taken. Annie only couldn’t because of her madness. Johanna-” a humourless chuckle left his lips. “Johanna refused, and her entire family paid the price.” He look back to Katniss to see that her mouth had fallen open, a look of horror on her face. “You and Peeta were spared because you were together. Hell, that’s the reason Y/N and I got together, to escape all this. And now look where we are.”
With you on the verge of dying and Finnick on the verge of losing everything.
You. You were his everything.
And you didn’t even know it.
“I never told her, Katniss.” He was breathless, like the wind had been knocked out of him. He’d realized this before, knew that he made a mistake, but now it was like he was realizing that he may never get the chance to correct it. “I- I never told her I loved her.”
I’m your girlfriend now?
Oh, come on, Y/N. You can’t be serious right now.
I am so serious right now.
You had no idea. You had no idea that you were the reason he kept living, that you were the reason he kept going, even when it hurt so badly. He’d walk through Hell if he could get to Heaven and be with you.
But what if you never knew that?
What if you died without knowing how he felt about you?
Katniss grabbed onto his hand. He looked to see tears welling in her eyes. “You will,” she whispered. “Hope, Finnick. You need to have hope.”
“Hope,” he echoed. Just like how he saw your face, he was able to see a future just as easily. It was so clear. That better world that Coin went on about, the better world that they were fighting for… it was just within their grasp. He nodded, managing to form somewhat of a smile. “Hope.”
He needed that, now more than ever. If he ever wanted to make it to that better world, to live in it with you, then he had to have hope—hope for the both of you.
Katniss didn’t say much after that; neither did he. Both of them were reflecting on their own, still trying to process all the turmoil that the day had caused. He spent his time thinking of you, imagining that better world.
In a better world, you and Finnick would’ve never been sold. You would’ve met, and he would’ve gotten the chance to fall in love with you the right way. He wouldn’t have been so scared to tell you. You would’ve given back to the community, not taken kids to their deaths.
You would’ve been so happy together.
But that wasn’t the world you lived in.
In the world you lived in, you and Finnick were sold at ages far too young. First, you sold your souls by winning The Games, and then your bodies were sold to people who had no business touching you.
In the world you lived in, you were only brought together because of tragedy. You only dated to try and save yourselves from a much greater evil, not because you loved each other.
In the world you lived in, Finnick fell in love with you. But he couldn’t tell you that, not when his biggest fear became losing you.
But in the world you lived in, he lost you, anyway.
So he had to have hope that a better world was possible- he had to. Not having that was another blow he wasn’t sure he could take.
When imagining your better world turned into reminiscing over all that’d happened to you both, he cut his thoughts off. He couldn’t let himself stop and break down now, not when he was so close to the finish line, so close to you.
So he pulled rope from his pocket, tying the same knots over and over again, a habit he’d picked up at a young age. Focusing on the knots was able to take his mind off everything, allowing white noise to play instead of this song.
He didn’t want to hear it without you.
He did this until he lost track of time. It was only when the doors slid open again that he was broken out of his trance. Katniss perked up right away. It was Haymitch behind the door, looking as enthusiastic as Finnick had ever seen him. “They’re back.”
She gasped, getting up and running right away, but it was as if Finnick was cemented to his spot. They’re back. 
You were back.
Just like that, he was shaken out of his shock, standing and quickly catching up with them.
They ran until they were in the medical area. As soon as they got there, he saw Johanna, ripping an IV out of her arm. Her hair was gone, shaven off, bruises all over her pale, pale face.
“Johanna,” Katniss muttered, but Finnick’s attention was elsewhere, eyes darting around the room, searching for you, heart racing.
And then he saw you.
His eyes went wide. “Y/N!” Without waiting another second, he ran to you. After over a month, here you were, right in front of him.
But it wasn’t so simple.
You flinched as his hands went to touch you, making him retract them right away. Your eyes didn’t look in his direction once.
Like you were scared of him.
At the thought, his heart clenched. It was only then that he noticed you were shaking, even as you were covered in blankets.
Your body was littered with cuts and bruises. You were pale, too, so clearly malnourished and sleep deprived. But it was your eyes that really got him. Your beautiful eyes no longer looked so lively. They looked empty.
You looked like a ghost.
“Y/N?” His voice cracked simultaneously with his heart. Why weren’t you looking at him? “Y/N-”
He was cut off. “Mr. Odair.” He turned to see a doctor standing on the other side of your bed, a hesitant look on her face and a look in her eyes that made a shiver go up spine. “Could I speak to you for a moment?”
He glanced back to you, seeing that you still weren’t looking at him. Your gaze was fixed on a spot on your bed. You hadn’t looked up once, even as the doctor spoke. Confused, he nodded, letting the woman pull him to the side, out of earshot from you.
But even as the doctor started speaking, he couldn’t get your eyes out of his mind.
That look in your eye was somehow worse than any of his nightmares combined.
“Mr. Odair, Ms. Y/L/N’s condition is… it’s quite complex,” she cautioned. He furrowed his brows, his worry increasing.
“What do you mean- is she okay-”
“No, I meant- physically, I’m not seeing much to be worried about. Of course, she could be better- much better, but this is what we were expecting.” She paused, glancing at you. “Mentally- I’m not even sure where to begin.”
He glanced back at you, too, to see that you were still staring at that same spot on your bed. He let the doctor’s words register in his brain. You weren’t okay.
“We’ve informed psych, but for now, you’re just gonna need to give her time.” Time.
He let out a breath, feeling his eyes getting wet as what she was saying really soaked in. “You’re telling me to leave.” Just as he got you back.
“Mr. Odair-”
“You’re telling me to leave.”
“Finnick.” She cut him off with a strong call of his name. “Your girlfriend’s mental state right now is unstable. She’s in shock; she’s not herself right now. It is going to take some time to get her out of this state, and it’s going to be hard for you to see her in it. In the meantime, the best thing you can do for her is take some time to collect your thoughts.”
She was telling him to go off and think. Did she know that’s all he’d been doing for hours, thinking and throwing himself into the worst possible scenarios, only to realize that one of them had become a reality?
But he didn’t tell her this, instead looking back at you. You were lifeless. When he looked back at the doctor, there was a pleading expression on her face. He didn’t want to leave you, but she made it sound like the best possible thing to do for you. So he did.
But the truth was, he just couldn’t bear to watch you when you were like that.
You were the love of his life. It was like his heart started beating again when he saw you there, alive, but then it dulled once he really looked at you.
You didn’t look like the girl he fell in love with, the girl that went into that arena, or the girl he said goodbye to. It only took a month, and now you looked like a completely different person, like you had seen things no man had ever seen.
In his haze, Finnick made it back to his room, but he didn’t make it to the bed, collapsing onto the floor, bringing his knees up to his chest as his mind spun.
You were alive. He thought that, when he finally saw you again, all of his worries would be erased, that everything would be okay again, that the world would go back to being in colour instead of this black and white that he’d been stuck in with Katniss.
But nothing seemed more colourful.
Nothing seemed better.
You were here. You were back, Y/N Y/L/N, the same woman he loved, the same woman he’d dreamt about for weeks. You were alive. 
But, oh, he should’ve known it couldn’t have been that easy.
Your heart was beating, your eyes were open, and you were there… but that didn’t mean you were alive.
I told you. I’m not letting you die.
Little did Finnick know, you were already dead. 
Taglist: @avoxrising @mxacegrey @littleshadow17 @lovelyteenagebeard @nasyanastya @catastrxblues @zodiyack @zulpix-blog @mushroomelephant @muggies @lantsovheiress @hobiebrowns-wife @notplutos @faeriepigeons
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yuriisclumsy · 10 months ago
Note
After I read that Cale x flirty reader!!..I screamed..Like oh my!!.. Can I make a request where is the enemy to lovers?.. Like the reader is a villain who likes to flirt with Cale every time they meet. In addition, this reader is shameless.. Definitely a mess dan chaotic 🤣🤣🤣.. And the reader kisses Cale on the cheek before she leaves saying 'Next time we meet, I'll ask for the size of your ring finger, Bye baby.".. I want to see Cale and the many reactions too..Bye author
Take care of yourself 😘
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Villains Have a Heart Too, Y'know
𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝: 1,355
»»►When I got this request I was surprised many people liked Flirty Reader!
»»►I went off a bit from the request, but what can I do? When a good plot just pops up I have to follow it, no matter if it has little to do with the request. Still, I do try to make it as closely to the asker's request.
»»►I feel like, for this scenario, it would take place in the Whooper Kingdom–you’ll know why once you read.
»»►On another note, [Name] has had encounters with Cale ever since he somehow got transmigrated into the world of Birth of a Hero. The man is tired. But let’s be real, when is he not?
»»►Cale just has to deal with another headache-giving-maniac sadly.
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Metals were crashing.
The clash between steel signified a battle taking place. Brutal forces wrestle against each other for dominion. 
Fighting for power. It has always been like this.
Walls and towers, buildings–whether high or low–cumbled due to the aggressiveness of battle. Many scurried off to safety, finding a safe place to hide until the warfare concluded with its victors.
In the Whopper Kingdom, where mages were deemed to be spans of evil, stood a woman of great talent. She was a genius in her field, with masses tittling her: “The Grand Magician.”
The Grand Magician had been a force not to be reckoned with ever since her ascension through the Magic Tower. Which is why she is the main target for the Rebellion; Toonka's sworn enemy.
“Come back here witch!” a wounded man yelled.
“Awww, is little Toonka unable to land a hit?” the girl said. She giggled at the man’s inability to harm her.
“Why, you little sh-t! AHHH!” The man–Tookan–charged at her with fists fully ready to punch her. He missed by a large margin.
“You missed me!~” the girl taunted Toonka. She had been flying on a broom this whole time, using spells to her advantage, without fully killing the barbaric man. She had the power to eliminate her opponent, but she found more joy from playing with her food.
She laughed at Toonka’s poor excuse of attacks.
“Get down here you demon-incarnate!”
“My my, that insult is far too sophisticated for you! Did you finally grow a brain?”
“I alway had a brain you b-tch!” Toonka leaped in the air in anger, and missed her once again.
“What foul language,” the mage manifested a staff, “I should teach you some manners!” Twirling her staff summoned a ray of spells; casting lighting in the field—all which Toonka managed to avoid. How lucky.
“Damn you woman!” Toonka screamed as he barely missed a bolt.
“Hehehe…HAHAHAHA!” The girl laughed hysterically with tears in her eyes. She loved to see people from above, scramble like ants.
“Hahaha...ahhh. Dear me, I haven’t had this much fun in a while,” she said, wiping away a tear that had formed.
An orb suddenly appeared next to the mage flashing in alert.
“Hmmm…” in amusement she took it into her hands, one hand gracefully waving above it. An image appeared on the sphere; a red haired male was shown through the ball—he seems to be inside the Magic Tower.
“Dear me, if it isn't my sweet love,” she looks at Toonka after making the crystal ball disappear, “sorry, little Toonka, seems our playtime needs to be paused and rescheduled to a later date. Hope you can keep entertaining me. Ta ta~”
Casting a spell, she disappeared slowly to the disgust of the man she bid farewell to.
She had done it on purpose.
“GET BACK HERE YOU WRETCH!”
The twentieth floor, the master of the magic tower’s room.
“I-I thought I was going to die…!!”
A young mouse-dwarf child had almost seen his soul ascending to the heavens above a few seconds prior, when his tiny body was lifted off the ground and flew to the top of the magic tower.
He stepped back trying to ground himself. He bumped into someone, making him turn around apologetically.
“I-I’m sorry,” he turned around only to see a cat.
“Meoow.”
His eyes meet the gaze I casted at him.
“...”
“Ah.”
How awkward.
“There is one more floor in the magic tower,” the kid said, diverting his embarrassing moment. 
“Then is the twenty-first floor the master's room?” I, in all my mercy, went on with my business like nothing happened. This was much appreciated by the boy.
“No, that’s not what we call it.”
“Then what do you call it?” I questioned him.
The real room of the master of the magic tower. A place that even the non-wizard alliance hasn’t found; a room no one knew the existence of.
At Least, that was the only thing that was stated in Birth of a Hero.
“Ground Zero,” a high pitched voice responded.
“We call it Ground Zero.”
It doesn't belong to the child, nor could it have come from him–since he didn’t know the room's actual name–the cats did not speak in this form, they knew better than that.
I can recognize that voice even if I become half deaf…
“[Name]...” I called the name of the intruder, facing her as she appeared from a mist that manifested out of thin air.
“Hello,” She smiled innocently, “it’s been a while…dear Cale.”
I stare at her with a suspicion of a hundred detectives. “What are you doing here?”
The children recoil behind me. The mouse: scared out of his mind; The cats: hissing at the intruder.
She had been causing nothing but wreck since the day I met her.
“Awww… did you not miss me?” She pouted.
“No.” I said bluntly.
In truth, although she is destructive, she’s never killed anyone. She may act like an evil witch, but she’ll alway cast barriers to protect.
The reason she acts like she does is still a mystery, even to me.
“Bo-hoo…” She pouted. She quickly got over it and spoke, “So, Want the treasure of this tower now? You know, if you called for me beforehand, I would have shown you the way.”
“Then take me there.”
“Nope,” She smiled teasingly at me. Honestly…can’t I just have a day without a headache. “If I did, you would just leave right after, leaving me all alone in this empty tower.”
“Then what do you propose?” I inquired.
“Well… I want to join your little fiasco.”
“*HISS*” the cats hissed at her. They really don’t like her.
I narrowed my eyes on her. I can’t deny that she would be really useful if she joined us. But on the contrary, the people of the anti-wizard organization would look at us in a not so good light. Tonka is my main problem. If I let her in, Toonka will follow me until the end of the world for, quote-on-quote, “betraying him.”
I don’t need more problems. But his majesty would kill me if he found out I didn’t recruit her in. Luck isn't on my side this time.
“You can join.”
“Oh, I knew you wouldn't let me—wait, what?” she paused, looking at me incredulously. “What did you say?”
“I said you can join,” I repeated.
“...”
“...”
“...”
“I CAN JOIN?!?!?!?”
We flinched back.
Jeez… Wasn’t it her idea in the first place? Why is she acting like this after I said yes? Honestly… I’ll never understand a woman’s mind.
“..yes,” I said slowly to not ignite another yell.
She jumped up and down while squealing in excitement.
“Oh, I have to go and pack my things!” she summoned her staff, with a swing in the air she started to disappear the same way she appeared. “See you soon love! Next time I’ll ask for your ring size!~”
“Oh, and little Mueller?” she spoke to the boy hiding behind me.
“Yes..!” he shrieked.
“Open up Ground Zero for Cale, will you?” She then fully vanished.
“*sigh…*” I turn to look at Mueller. “Well? Are you going to open ground zero, or not?”
“Ah! Y-yes, right away!” he scurried off to do what he was told.
What have I gotten myself into?
"Human, do you want me to obliviate her?"
"No!"
Fin
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requiem-for-a-raisin · 4 days ago
Text
Victor - The Abstinent Beast Devours Love Story Event
*Fan translation for funsies! IP owned by Cybird, translations are my own and may be inaccurate. 18+ MDNI. See About page for more info.*
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:readmore:
Since I started dating Victor, I've been facing a problem.
Neema
"Oh, Vic… tor..."
The quiet room echoed with the sound of our breaths and bodies. His long hair hung down like a canopy, hiding only me. I clutched at him desperately, squinting at the beads of sweat that fell from my eyes.
Victor
"Neema."
Neema
"Ahh!"
The moment he dug deep inside me, my mind went blank.
(This is definitely a serious problem...)
Neema
"Victor, I need to talk to you."
I reluctantly got up and sat on the bed, the ache between my legs still lingering. My voice was hoarse, and every muscle in my body was screaming in pain.
Victor
“What is it?"
He sat up and looked at me with a gentle gaze.
Neema
"No sex for a while!!"
A problem I faced after starting a relationship with Victor.
The reason was that my nights with him were so good that I lost my stamina, and by the time it was over I was exhausted and unable to move.
(After he had made me cum so many times, I thought I had reached my limit, and then the real thing started.)
After most of my strength had been taken, I finally took his heat.
Victor
"・・・・・・・・・"
(I understand Victor's thinking, though...)
Given our size difference, I need to be well prepared to accept his heat. I know that he is so careful to prepare me because he cares for me more than anything, but even so…
Neema
“I don't have the stamina ・・・・・!'
This was two weeks ago.
Victor
"Well then Neema, good night."
Neema
“Yes, good night."
We get into bed and I fall asleep in his arms.
Victor was keeping his promise again today, and I was both relieved and in agony over it.
(I've never seen him not do it for two whole weeks・・・・・・)
The look on his face when I had issued the prohibition was the very essence of despair. 
Although he understood the reason, I felt so sorry for him when I saw how sad and dejected he looked. I secretly started training and working hard to build up my physical strength and improve my stamina.
(I'm slowly but surely getting stronger, so it should be okay.)
I feel like I won't be able to bear it if we don't do it any more, so I rubbed my cheek against his chest.
Neema
"Um, Victor."
Victor
"Hmm?"
His eyelashes flutter, and his beautiful jewel eyes catch my gaze.
Neema
"Well, today..."
Victor gently strokes my head.
Victor
"Don't worry, I won't do it today either."
Neema
"Huh?"
Victor
"I was so happy that the woman I loved had finally fallen for me, and I got carried away."
Victor
"I didn't think about the burden it would cause you... I'm so sorry."
Neema
"It's my fault, Victor."
Victor
"No, it's my fault. I'm sorry, Neema."
I want to feel the joy of being with the person I love forever, just like you.
Neema
"Victor."
Victor
"Huh?... Hmmm."
I gather up my courage and steal his lips.
Victor blinks in surprise.
Neema
“I've been training for the past two weeks.”
Neema
"I'm sure I've gotten stronger than before, but..."
Before I can finish, my lips are taken away by him, and I am intoxicated by the deepest kiss I’ve had in a long time.
Just as my head started to get fuzzy, Victor let go of my lips, got up, and grabbed both of my legs.
Victor
"Let me tell you something you are misunderstanding.”
Neema
"Eh, ahhh?"
He pushed my underwear aside and brought his face closer in between my legs.
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Victor
“It's not really an elaborate preparation for me to make you cum until you are a mess." 
Victor
“I have been pushing you because your face when you cum is so cute, and I always want to see it more.”
I was grabbed with such force that I couldn't escape even if I wanted to. The tip of his tongue finally poked at my sensitive bud.
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Victor
"I haven't seen you for two weeks, so I think I'll make you melt more than usual today."
The next day he devotedly cared for me, as I was unable to get out of bed.
His face was glazed and shining with joy as he smiled happily at me.
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Not me screaming and kicking my feet translating this, I can’t believe the elusive Victor is secretly a Roger in disguise. Took me way too long to understand the “problem” here, but I finally get it 😳. Thank you Cybird, I’m so happy old man Victor is finally free to be a horn dog 🙏.
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etherealily · 7 months ago
Text
guilt // f.odair
My other Finnick fics, if you have the time.
[1/3] Long.
Part 2 : Art Part 3 : Bets
Finnick Odair + fem!reader. Warnings : Cuss words, SFW but discretion advised, mature themes. Slight inconsistencies (tributes + mentors leave the next day instead of the same day)
Desc. : But is it in his nature?
You do NOT have permission to repost and/or translate any of my fics.
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═════════════════════ ⋆🔱⋆ ══════════════════
'Suck on his sellout cock, go ahead', your mind taunts you as you traipse behind him into the Victor's Village, a place where you simultaneously hoped you'd live and you'd never step into again.
See, Finnick had always dominated your childhood.
You grew up watching him charm the nation, be welcomed back to the District like he was God.
One of your biggest flexes was that you got to see him in person in a parade once, when he'd come back from one of his many Capitol visits.
However. That all changed once you became fifteen. Because you'd finally got some fucking sense and realized that the people at the Capitol, the Hunger Games, none of it was fair, it was all fucking shit.
And you hated Finnick all the more for it.
Prancing around, doing promotions, adverts, sending children to die, being the Capitol's bitch. You'd narrowly escaped your last chance to be reaped, but you still wished he'd choke on his ridiculously expensive Capitol meal.
You couldn't respect him.
But. But, it wasn't like you'd ever tell him that, though. Because when Finnick Odair talks to you, you fucking talk back.
And when he tells you he wants you to come back home with him after seeing you by the ocean one night, you go, no matter how much you'd rather fucking kill yourself.
"This is my house.", he smiles, and waits expectantly, as if you're supposed to applaud.
"It's nice."
He doesn't look disappointed or surprised at that. In fact, he seems mildly entertained. "Get in."
═════════════════════ ⋆🔱⋆ ══════════════════
"And then, maybe, just bring your hand up the side of your leg? Yeah, yeah, just like that. Okay, yeah, sweetheart, that's it."
Click.
"And this is for..."
"Modelling."
"For the Capitol?"
"Who else?"
You raise a brow, your mind immediately picturing some rhinestone encrusted Capitol asshole getting off to a picture of you. You shudder.
"I'm joking. It's for me."
"For you?"
"Feel free to look around.", he says, offhandedly, as he looks through the camera at all the pictures he'd just clicked of you. "Maybe something will catch your fancy."
"You brought me here to... take pictures of me and... let me take whatever I want from your house?"
"I'm a weirdo, sweetheart."
"What will you do with the pictures?"
"I dunno. Can't publish them anywhere. I guess I'll just use them.", he mutters, more to himself than you, but you catch it. He looks up and then clarifies, "To improve my photography skills."
Thank fuck.
"Why me?"
"You're a good subject."
Your fingers move almost fluidly past various things, bottles of expensive liquor, watches, jewellery that he probably stole from his long list of Capitol lovers, and a single, slightly pathetic looking conch.
"I'm a subject? Like... math?"
He snorts. It's condescending, he's aware - there's no way you'd know. You've never been out of the District.
"It's photography lingo. A subject is who you're taking photos of. You have the correct facial structure for my lighting to illuminate you how I want it to. Hence, you're a good subject."
"Oh."
He continues flicking through photos and adjusting the background, taking a few trial shots with the result of his tinkering, until he seems to notice that you haven't spoken in a while. "You like the conch?"
"It's pretty."
"So are you."
You fight the urge to roll your eyes. Ugh. There he goes again, back to Finnick Odair, Capitol man-whore instead of Finnick, photo geek.
You turn to him. "How much did it cost? Twice the wine?"
"I didn't buy it. I found it, back when I was eleven."
"You've had it for almost a decade?"
He licks his lips, his hands pausing their scrolling of the camera's gallery for a moment. "I guess it has been a decade."
"What was it like, though? When you won?"
"Won? Won what?"
"The Games."
"Oh. Uh... bittersweet."
"Bitter? Why would it be bitter?"
"You ask a lot of questions. Sit down."
You know the truth. He just didn't want to admit that there was nothing bitter going on. He won because he was hot, and now, he continued reaping the benefits of his genetic lottery win.
You sit, still looking up at him as he comes to kneel in front of you, turning his camera to you. "What do you think?"
The pictures he's taken of you have an unsettling ethereality to them. In one, you're looking out the window with your back to the camera, your outfit hidden by a rose he'd apparently been holding in front of the camera.
A white rose.
It featured in every fucking picture, so much so that you almost asked him about it. Key word : almost.
In one of the more lighthearted ones, the rose sat in your mouth.
"They're pretty nice."
"Is your vocabulary limited to those two words? Pretty. Nice."
"I don't know what else to say."
He regards your face for a moment - like, really fucking observes you - before fiddling with some knob on the camera. "Take off your clothes."
That shouldn't have surprised you as much as it did.
"What?"
He looks up, confused. "Take off your clothes and I'll take some pictures."
"What? No."
"You don't want to? But you were okay with all the previous pictures."
"Yeah, because I was clothed."
"Being unclothed is a problem for you? Being exposed? Hm? That bothers you?"
What?!
"I- look, man, I'm not trying to offend you."
"But you are. You said you'd let me take photos of you. You are not your clothes, are you? You are your self, your soul, your body."
"Yeah, but I'm just not comfortable."
'Y'know what, sweetheart, people do shit they're not comfortable with all the fucking time. Twenty-five/eight. If you can't deal with it, you're weak. Take. It. Off."
You had a feeling there was another reason he was so angry about your non-compliance, but you didn't push it.
"Please don't make me do this."
"Fine! FUCK! Am I asking you to suck my cock? Huh? I could, y'know that? I could've, but no, I asked you to help me make art, and you chickened out!", he yells, his finger scarily close to poking your eye.
Finnick Odair was no longer pissing you off.
Finnick Odair was genuinely scaring you.
"Just get out.", he mutters, setting his camera down in defeat on his couch. "Get out, seriously."
You don't even have two seconds of backing-away-time before he stops you again. "What if I killed your family?"
That scares you more. "What?"
"What if I killed your family? Or at least, threatened to? Would you do it? Would you?", he asks, and now, he's not angry at you, or frustrated, he's more desperate, frantic, as if your answer would shake his fucking world.
As if your answer would change his self perception.
"Please don't kill my family."
"Would you suck my cock if I threatened to kill your family, Y/N?!"
"YES!", you scream, flinching, almost. "Yes! I would, but please, PLEASE don't!"
Finnick Odair gazes back at you with relief, and you want to strangle him. "You would, wouldn't you? You'd do unspeakable things for your family, yes?"
Well, of course.
"Things that would make your skin crawl. Not just because you love them, but because you're responsible for them. Because you got yourself into this mess."
He's no longer talking to or about you, that much is clear.
"And it's up to you to keep them away from it."
Slowly backing away, you try your hardest not to show up in his peripheral, to make sure he stays in whatever zone he's in.
But he is Finnick Odair. So he doesn't even look up at you as he instructs you. "Don't take the conch." Like stealing from him was the first thing on your mind.
"Wasn't planning to."
"Don't tell anyone about today."
"Wasn't planning to."
"Stay."
Wasn't planning to.
"I'm sorry, Y/N. Please. Stay."
The apology only solidifies your urge to stab him in the gut. "I have to get home."
"I didn't mean stay the night. I don't want you staying the night."
Finnick Odair, as you had begun to gather, was debilitatingly honest.
"I just mean stay for a while. Have dinner and then go."
"Dinner?"
"Yes, dinner. I have turkey from the Capitol."
"What's that?"
"It's a kind of bird. It's just like chicken but better."
"What's chicken?"
"Another kind of bird."
"Oh."
He frowns at you for a moment. "You're not okay with eating birds, are you?"
"They're just... very rare, so I don't see why you have to kill them."
He sighs, looking around the room in deep thought. "I could make fish. You know fish. You like fish."
You do know fish. You do like fish. You nod.
~~~~
Finnick's fish is unlike any you've ever fucking eaten.
Living in District 4, you'd figured you'd had fish every way it could be cooked. But no.
You can't help but take more. And more. And more. You weren't hungry, and momentarily felt guilt, thinking about kids in the other districts who were, but it was divine and you couldn't bring yourself to care much.
"You like that?", he asks, from opposite you, raising a brow in amusement.
"It's really fucking good."
He whistles lowly. "Ooh, nice, vocabulary expansion. So you do cuss. I was afraid I'd corrupted you with my rough Capitol language.", he muses, looking at your plate. "You have room for dessert?"
"Doesn't everyone, always?"
He nods. "That's fair. Cake?"
CAKE? This Capitol whore managed to bring cake back to District 4?
"Sure."
That was divine, too.
"You like that, too?"
"Yeah. It's really good. The Capitol has it really good."
"The Capitol is filled with cunts who throw up food because they want to taste more."
Was that... disdain? Interesting.
"Well, seeing as you spend most of the year there, I just thought..."
He stands, clearing the plates. "What? That I was one of them?"
You watch him go into the kitchen, taking a sip of water as you do. "No, just that... no, yeah, I did."
"It's okay, I get that a lot. I just... I gotta go, do these promotions, adverts. I have to. I made a deal."
You sigh, standing and pushing the dining table chair back to its original position. "Contract?"
He clenches his jaw momentarily, before nodding, his shoulders tense. "Yeah. Sm'n like that.", he grins, his dimples emerging once more. Thirteen year old you would have swooned and fainted and died.
Eighteen year old you just lets him lead you to the door.
"I'm leaving for the Capitol tomorrow. Along with the tributes from this year."
Why he's telling you this, you have no clue.
"You should come and wave me off."
"Do we know each other well enough for that?"
"No, but I know you know the tributes well. One of them goes to school with you, doesn't she?"
Yes. Little Faye.
"Yes, she's in the eighth grade. I used to tutor her."
The reality hits. She will probably never be able to high-five you when she gets a question right again.
"You should give her courage.", he suggests. "Going in thinking you're going to die will get you killed. Let her know she can make it."
"Can she?", you ask, quietly. The answer will ruin you, you can tell.
"She's a Career."
"Yes, but can she?"
"Chances are slim." Finnick fucking Odair. Finnick "debilitatingly honest" fucking Odair. "I won't tell her that, though."
"I'll see you tomorrow, Finnick."
═════════════════════ ⋆🔱⋆ ══════════════════
His hands grip your chin and you swear you're about to kill him. You look up at him, hanging out the open door of the train carriage and holding onto you, and you're half tempted to pull him down with you because what the fuck was he doing?
You can feel it coming, the urge to slap him away, but then again, it's still Finnick FUCKING Odair, and you're not sure if there's a law against rejecting his advances.
So you just kind of let him kiss you. It's not bad, no, far from it, it's just... unexpected.
Considering it's in front of every camera in the district.
Considering you'd only known each other one night.
Considering his last words were 'you're the only thing I care about.'
Considering he said your full name an unsettling amount of times.
Considering little Faye was watching and wondering why you were calm enough to be making out with some hot guy instead of sending her off.
Considering now the entirety of Panem was either going gush at you or rush at you.
~~~~
You can't bring yourself to watch the news.
Everyone assumes it's because of Finnick.
But, ironically, Finnick's the only one who knows it's not.
It's because of Faye.
"Finnick's on TV.", you're informed at least twice an hour.
"'Kay.", is your usual response. "Faye?"
"I'm sure Finnick trained her well. And besides, the 11th is this weekend! You'll find out."
Right. You'd been invited by Snow him-fucking-self to the Capitol. Apparently, the cameras outside your house weren't enough. He needed you there, with Finnick, for promos. While children were dying.
You receive gifts from your family, your neighbours, your teachers - basically anyone you'd breathed around - for your journey to the Capitol, as if you're going to some dreamland.
As you ride the train, your head against the seat, you try to imagine this is the train that leads you out of Panem. Your family will be waiting at the destination - in your head, an actual dreamland - and you'll be fine and dandy.
As you're escorted out, you imagine you're hanging from the ceiling in full display on the TV instead of Faye having to go through the Games.
And as you're directed to Finnick's room, you imagine slitting his throat. It's funny. You almost laugh. Then, the door opens.
Dimples.
═════════════════════ ⋆🔱⋆ ══════════════════
"How is it you've never worn lip tint before?", he mutters, tutting as if you'd just misspelled a basic word. "C'mon, pucker up.", he instructs, his thumb smearing red on your lips.
You have no idea what you look like and you're not sure if you want to find out. "I thought you were a merchant."
You shake your head. "No, I said I live by the merchant sector of 4."
"Not in it?"
"Of course not. Why would I have been picking seashells to make necklaces out of if I were a merchant? I just sell shit in the marketplace. Doesn't make me a merchant."
"I mean, technically... yeah, it does.", he says, his thumb accidentally slipping and smudging your makeup over the left of your cheek.
"Right, well, I'm not merchant class.', you shrug, trying to wipe the results of idiocy that was Finnick Odair off the side of your cheek.
Finnick... seems to get it. He nods along as he continues trying to de-plague your face with makeup.
Guilt is etched on his face. Regret, a tiny bit. Sadness, festering throughout.
"What's that look?"
He doesn't seem like he's out of whatever thought he was in moments ago when he hums in response, before quickly leaping towards his bedside and taking his camera, holding his thumb next to your bottom lip, with your still messy lip tint just about seen. Click.
"What's that look?", you repeat.
"What look?"
"That one.", you say, pointing to his face as if he can see it.
"That's my sorry look. I shouldn't have sprung the kiss on you. It was a dick move.", he says, gently moving behind you and guiding your shoulders to manoeuver you to face the mirror.
He says it as if he already knows you'll forgive him.
Yes, you do. But it irks you that he seems to assume that.
"Yes, it was."
"I'm sorry. What do you think?"
"I look like the 12 escort."
"Trinket? No, no way. You look great.", he assures, and you try to believe him, but you haven't seen yourself in makeup before and it doesn't look as though it's you standing there.
"Beautiful.", he says, as an afterthought, almost, as if he were trying out the word to see if it sounded right or not. He seems to decide on the former. "Beautiful.", he repeats, nodding.
That gets your attention and you take a second glance, and suddenly, you see what he sees. The makeup isn't subtle and hidden, but it isn't what the Capitol wears. It's... pleasant.
He brushes some hair in front of your shoulders. "See? Beautiful.", he reiterates, like he can't get enough of that word now.
"You sure I'll fit in here like this? Like... dressed up?"
"Yeah.", he says, vehemently nodding before doing that thing when he looked in your eyes again. "Well, mostly. I mean, I'd prefer it if you had the easiest time possible, 'cause I kinda got you into this mess."
You nod. That checks out. "Thanks."
═════════════════════ ⋆🔱⋆ ══════════════════
The night sees you staring at the ceiling while Finnick breathes softly in sleep beside you. It's pleasant. Domestic, almost. Like what Finnick wants, you think. Like the Capitol believes, you know.
He shifts and your eyes snap shut. Why you're so afraid of him finding out that you are awake, you don't know, but you are. He reaches out, his knuckles grazing your cheek with enough purpose that you realize he wasn't asleep in the first place, either.
And then he does it.
His hand reaches out, gently feeling around for your hand, before he grips the middle three fingers on your left.
He squeezes them softly, then brings them to his chest, where his own hand lays. That's it.
You watch him actually sleep until he mumbles, shifting again. 'Y/N?"
"Yeah?", you respond immediately, kicking yourself internally. Cover blown.
"Can't sleep?"
"No."
"Scared?"
"Mhm."
"Of the photos we took today? I promise, the makeup isn't bad, and you won't have to take any more - they'll publish them and pass them off as taken over a few months, so it's not-"
"No, for Faye."
Silence. "Oh."
"I feel like I didn't get to even tell her how well she's going to do."
"You can see her."
You can what?
"When?"
"Well, not in person, but we can watch the live feed of the Gam-"
"Yes. Yes, please, thank you.'
He sits up, rubbing his eyes. "Really?"
"Yes. Yes, absolutely. When can we?"
"Well, technically, it's always streaming, so I, I guess we can go now."
You nod.
He raises a brow as if he never expected you to agree. "Okay, uh, just, uh... gimme a second to wake up, okay?"
He comes out of the bathroom after washing his face to find you pacing, biting the inside of your cheek. "C'mon."
~~~~
The Viewing Room is desolate except for a few Gamemakers' Assistants (GAs), that have to watch footage 24/7.
"We have to record these things all the time, just in case something happens during the cover of nightfall", he explains, as he walks in front of you and gestures to the large screen in the opposite side of the room. "Usually, the stronger Careers, from 1 or 2-", he cuts himself off. That was not what you needed to be hearing right now.
He watches as you slowly walk up to the screen, as though the soft glow from it could lead you to Faye. Your eyes dart around the entirety of the enormous screen, looking for something - anything - to announce you of Faye's survival.
"She is still alive. You'd have heard a cannon and seen a picture of her if not."
It's not the most comforting thing he can say. He's usually better at this. God, if he didn't miss his old self, but the guilt of essentially using you to keep Snow's interest off his family and on you, the - to the extent of Snow's knowledge, anyway - love of his life, isn't exactly letting him be warm and inviting to you.
But he wants to. Let it be known, he wants nothing more than to do what he usually does. Brighten people up.
"Where is she?"
"WE'VE GOT A RUNNER!", calls one of the GAs and your head snaps to a blue triangle tracking one of the tributes on the screen, and you run over to that side of the massive screen.
The lights come on in the room, and people flood in. Sponsors, gamblers, Gamemakers. Because this is prime TV. He imagines every screen in the country lighting up, because you have to watch. Every child has just been woken up because the feed's back on.
"Who's the runner?", someone asks, and Finnick turns to you, diligently tracking the blue triangle with your eyes. Blue. Ocean. District 4. It's Faye.
"Girl from Four. The boy's already dead."
"How much did I have on her?"
"Oh, c'mon, you didn't have shit on her! No one thought she'd make it this far."
"Fine, fine, but now how much?"
The sounds of cruelty almost have him zoning out, going back into Capitol-Party-Finnick-Mode. That is, until, you call him.
"Finnick?"
He rushes to your side, a guilt induced speed to his gait. "Yeah, y'okay?" No the fuck she isn't. What the fuck is wrong with him?
"Who's the gold triangle chasing her?" Gold. Luxury. District 1. CAREER.
"Uh..." Deliver it softly. Sweetly.
"Unless she's a shapeshifter, the girl's DEAD!", laughs one of the sponsors. "It's my tribute, the Career boy from 1 chasin' her, with... wait, zoom in? Oh, yeah, a dagger!"
Your eyes widen and Finnick wants to kill himself. "She'll be fine. She can swim, he..."
Can also swim. Fuck.
"... he won't be able to keep up with her." , he says, finally.
Partially true. District 1 Careers didn't have access to the ocean, not like those from 4, so it was very much possible that he wasn't trained to know about tides and currents and shit.
There's a moment where no one in the room says anything. Because they both just jumped into the water, and Faye went under.
Finnick holds your head to his chest as you cling onto him in fear. It's not even remotely close to making up for what he's planning to put you through - well, already putting you through - but he at least feels a bit like the old him. The one who could actually comfort.
The tribute from 1 splashes around a bit, looking for Faye. You've turned a bit now, your head's still in his chest, but half your face is facing the screen. You're watching, anxious as ever.
"She's not drowned.", he mutters, stupidly. Duh.
"What if something pulled her under?"
Oh fuck. Yeah. Valid point.
"I'm sure it's just a strategy."
One that he remembers teaching her.
Maybe if she uses this and beats this District 1 Career, he could be one more step closer to gaining your forgiveness, and his redemption.
For a crime that the victim wasn't even aware was being committed.
The Career flounders around a bit more, screaming, clearly, but the audio is muted here. He looks around, not willing to look under, in case that might trigger the release of any muttations the Capitol cooked up for them.
And then, he's tugged a bit, his leg down, and he springs away from the motion. Please be Faye. Please be Faye.
He's jerked fully under, and a splash of Faye's hair can be seen before both disappear underneath the mildly murky waters, a struggle very evident in the way the water's splattering about.
Suddenly, it stops.
Faye leaps exhaustedly onto the bank, gasping for breath.
A cannon goes off. Florian Jentry. District 1 , Luxury. Score : 10.
Finnick holds onto you tighter as you sigh in relief. He softly kisses your hair because he doesn't know what else to do.
Relief is the only possible emotion to feel.
No one's happy. No one's sad. You're only either relieved that your loved one isn't gone, or relieved that they're not gone in a torturous way.
Wait, scratch that. The patron who just bet on Faye is happy.
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helloclancy · 1 month ago
Text
haymitch is tasked with speaking to johanna mason about trying to break the machine because of the stunt she pulled after her name was called. she thanked the district 7 escort for pulling her, out of every other name in the bowl, because she's just weeks away from her 18th birthday, then flipped the capitol building off with both hands.
"fuck that!"
haymitch understands why. he understands why plutarch pulls him aside after all the tributes and mentors gather in the capitol, and tells him that johanna painted a poster at her reaping. he knows why plutarch shows him the unedited footage. he knows why it was edited, too. because half of district 7 flips the capitol building off as they drag johanna mason away, kicking and screaming. no final goodbyes.
a kid, no older than 10, running through a crowd parting for him in anguish, screaming her name. a girl, maybe 18 since she didn't seem to be part of the reaping, chasing after him, red-faced from trying to hide her grief. refusing to play their game.
lenore dove. sid. maysilee donner.
before he truly, completely fell off the wagon and into a downward spiral of the worst victor alive, merrilee donner paid him a visit. she brought him ham hock soup and strawberry ice cream. "it was her favorite," she said. "i much prefer chocolate." they eat in silence, haymitch clutching his stomach, merrilee rubbing her head. pinching the bridge of her nose. shutting her eyes tightly.
she tidies up his empty, lonely house. she sings the ladybug song. she sings nothing you can take from me, was ever worth keeping. haymitch watches her. and he drinks. his deep scar itching with pain every time their eyes meet. "itchy itchy haymitchy," maysilee sings from the corner, her teeth stained red. haymitch takes another swig.
merrilee tells him she won't visit again, because she knows what it's like to stare at a ghost every day. haymitch whispers an apology. "there's no need, haymitch. maybe no one else got to see what happened out there, but i did." she rubs her head again, flinching in pain. he wonders if she's okay, but of course she isn't. "she made you pinky swear." he has no idea how she could have gotten access to unedited footage. forbidden footage. maybe mags got it to her. or maybe it was plutarch. "i just wanted to make sure you got this," she holds out her palm. a golden chain messily braided into old leather cord. in the center of the necklace hangs a metal flower, similar to the one she wore into the arena, but this one is gold.
"tam amber made it for her. the copper one was mine. it's a primrose flower. she left me all her necklaces, and i noticed that you lost yours, so i wanted you to have this one." she places it on the table, right next to his twitching fingers. he's trying not to cry. he's failing. he brushes his finger along the flower petals. his sis.
"even if we never speak to each other again, i just wanted you to know that when she said she'd be your sister, it went for me too." she kisses the top of his head. "be the worst victor that you can be, brother, and i'll do the same. for her."
he never speaks to merrilee donner again.
haymitch knows that johanna mason does not have a token. he also knows the price she might pay for painting her own poster. he fiddles with the necklace he kept to wearing under his shirts; debating. since burying his precious flint striker with his love, this necklace has become his battle armor. he knows johanna mason will need it more than him now, if she accepts.
"i saw that girl with your brother. at the reaping. she's your girl, ain't she?" she freezes, for just a split second, before squaring her shoulders and steeling her gaze.
"fuck off,"
bad start. "hey, wait," he slurs, not helping his case. he tries again, "johanna, that's not-"
"what are you gonna do? hit me? feel me up? tell me all i need is the touch of a man? are you gonna-"
"no!"
her eyes widen in fear, then anger. "then why is the infamous drunkard of district 12 trying to talk to me like we're pals? shouldn't you be drinking away the loss of your newest tributes?" ice cold. just like his sis.
so he tells her about lenore dove and her painted words. about her uncle and his hidden love. he tells her about the newcomers, about wyatt and his odds, about wellie and ampert and louella and lou lou. then he pulls out his necklace of hope and tells her about his sister, maysilee donner. who refused to die begging. who slapped their escort and transformed each district's tokens and obliterated the crowd's fashion choices during her interview. how she never once faltered in her convictions. how she trusted him without ever knowing the full truth. he tells her how he accepted his fate in the arena and accepted the task of blowing it up. how maysilee donner's necklaces helped him do it. he tells her that he was spared, but everyone that he loved died because of it. that he was kept alive just to watch them die. and then he unclasps the necklace and cradles it in his hands.
"we promised each other that if one of us won, we'd be the worst victor that the capitol ever had." he gestures to his drink. "she made me pinkie swear it."
"so that's why you're a hopeless, bumbling idiot." he nods. "why me, though? why not your tributes?" this, he struggles to answer. district 12's tributes this year are both only 13 years old. one is halfway to starving, the other beaten and bloody from peacekeepers. they've got no fight. no fire. they're so young. so innocent. he suddenly thinks of burdock's girls, katniss and...what's her name again? he's seen her following behind her big sister through the hob like a lost little duckling.
he looks down at maysilee's necklace in his fingers. primrose. primrose everdeen. children. they're just children. johanna takes in his silence.
she accepts the token. "well, if i win, i'll be the second worst victor in history. because i don't plan on playing their game."
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juneberrie · 17 days ago
Text
LOATHING ⸻ J. MASON
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summary — johanna mason hates you. district eight's golden girl, the victor that came before her and killed her best friend. but how could she hate someone so..... nice?
author's note — i lowkey forgot annie won the 70th games so for the sake of this fic she won a different game. also, first fic in literal MONTHS!! who cheered!!!
⸻masterlist && wc: 1.3k
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johanna hated everything about being a mentor.
she hated sending tributes to their deaths, knowing they stood no chance against bloodthirsty careers.
she hated having to play nice for the capitol and their cameras.
she hated dressing up in stupid outfits and sucking up to sponsors to send gifts to her tributes, walking dead among the arena.
but most of all, she hated being stuck with you.
you, district eight's golden girl and winner of the 70th hunger games. you, the girl who had won by being nice to everyone, forming alliances with both careers and lone wolves. you, who won by letting them kill each other, before turning and stabbing the remaining tributes in the back. you, who had killed her best friend with no hesitancy, no remorse, when you were the last two tributes.
she hated you. total, unadulterated, absolute hatred. loathing, extreme dislike, distaste, whatever synonym for hatred, thats what she held for you.
she hated how fake you were. you were sweet as sugar, always smiling and chattering with your fellow mentors. not her, never her. you're guilty, she thinks. for killing her best friend. good. she doesnt want you near her.
you've interacted a whopping total of twice.
the first time, during your victory tour. when you got to district seven, you went out of your way to find her friend's family. you had apologized to them, stuttering some excuse about the games bringing out the worst in everyone, and how she really was such a wonderful girl.
you turned to leave, to get back on the train, and johanna stood there, arms crossed. she glared at you.
"sorry doesn't bring her back, you know," she spit out.
"i know," you said simply. "i'm sorry."
she had scoffed and pushed past you, making a point to hit your shoulder with hers, hard.
the second time had been the 72nd hunger games, her first as a mentor. you were in the elevator when she got in, and she kept her gaze trained on the shiny floor in front of her as you passed floor after floor in silence.
"your dress looks stunning. your stylist must be great," you finally said.
she didn't look up before biting back, "i'll be sure to tell her that."
you rode in silence for a little longer before you spoke again. "i never got to congratulate you."
she looked up, dark eyes trained on you. "what?"
"on your games. for winning."
she stared at you.
"your family must be proud."
"my family is dead," she snapped, crossing her arms defensively.
"mine too," you said simply. there was a gleam in your eyes that johanna couldnt place, something that intrigued her. what could you, the sweetest, nicest, fakest, liar of a victor, have done to piss off the capitol? the elevator dinged as it reached the seventh floor, and she brushed past you without a word, wondering.
and then, years later, she got put in an arena again. with you.
she planned to avoid you during training, avoid you during the game, and hope you got killed by some other tribute.
because for some reason, for some strange reason she didn't understand, she could not bring herself to kill you. yes, she hated you for killing her best friend. yes, she hated your fake-niceness and fake smiles. but after that conversation in the elevator, something about you fascinated her.
she had made it this far without seeing you. she made it through the bloodbath, she brought nuts and bolts to finnick, peeta, and katniss. and then, when they were trying to rest, they heard rustling through the foliage.
johanna's hand instinctively found her axe, her fingers curling around the handle. the group collectively held their breath, trying to discern whether the rustling was a career or some other evil the gamemakers had shoved into the arena with them.
thats when you tumbled out of the trees. you tripped on a rock, falling on top of johanna. your arms caged her head, bracing yourself. your knife narrowly missed her head, burying itself in the sand.
for a few seconds that felt too long for johanna's liking, you just stared at each other.
finnick mustve said something, because your head snapped to look at him, but johanna's gaze stayed trained on you.
you were so..... pretty.
she pushed you off, scoffing. "watch where you're going," she scowled.
you shrugged, standing up and brushing yourself off. "my bad," you replied.
introductions were made — katniss was weary of you at first, not entirely trusting the girl who'd crashed out of the trees and who's entire tactic was trying to befriend as many people as possible and betraying them last second. finnick reassured her that you were not going to stab them in the back. she didnt quite believe him, but she relented. peeta was nicer, simply introducing himself in turn and making small talk for a few minutes.
that night, johanna called first watch. she sat with her back to a tree, facing the beach.
she heard a branch snap, and she whipped her head around.
you.
you held your hands up in mock surrender. "just me," you said, a hint of a smirk on your face.
she scoffed, looking away from you and back towards the water. "what do you want?"
you were quiet for a few minutes, sitting down next to her. your hand grazed hers, and she pulled it away quickly.
"why do you hate me?" you asked eventually, keeping your gaze on the horizon.
"why wouldnt i?" that was a question she couldnt even really answer herself. her one good reason was that you had killed her best friend, but then again, it was the hunger games. no one in the arena was the same as out.
truthfully, she didnt like that you made her feel..... sparky. her stomach twisted and turned when she was near you. her heart pounded in her chest and her gaze was always trained on you.
"im sorry about your friend," you said.
"sorry doesnt bring her back," johanna said automatically.
"i know," you said sincerely. "but i mean it."
the two of you were silent for a few minutes. johanna probably shouldve woken up someone else to take watch, gone to sleep and ignored you and your stupid smiles and words like she had planned. but she didn't. there was something almost warm about your presence. you didnt put on the bubbly facade you did for the capitol with her.
"my family was killed right after my victory tour."
she looked at you. she remembered you mentioning them being dead once, but there was never an explanation.
you chuckled bitterly. "snow.... he wanted me to, uh..." you paused for a moment. "spend more time in the capitol." johanna knew what you meant; snow had offered her the same. "i said no, obviously, and well.."
"im sorry," johanna said. she hadnt even thought about the words before the words slipped out of her mouth. but it wasnt fake, like most of the apologies johanna gave. this one was sincere.
you looked down at the sand. she noticed a few tears lining your lower lash line. and johanna understood. as much as she hated to admit it, she understood you.
she knew what it was like to be sent to your death and survive against all odds; she knew the cold, bone-chilling fear that took over your body when your family's safety was threatened, and she knew the agony and guilt that ensued when they paid the price for your unwillingness to be a pawn. because she had gone through the same things you had.
you looked back at her, smiling softly. "its alright." something about your smile made her feel those stupid sparks of loathing again. she hated that you did that to her, made her feel like she was some stupid schoolgirl with a....
oh.
oh.
so thats what it was. all the loathing, the sparks, the stomach turning and lingering glares (read: longing gazes).
as she sat with you on the shore, she realized that maybe she didnt loathe you. not at all.
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honey-minded-hivemind · 9 months ago
Text
Something Wicked This Way Comes AU Skits:
A government agent: Would you like to join our team of highly trained and special indivi-
Reader: F*ck off
Government agent: I really think you'd like this program of ours-
Reader: I said f*ck off
Government agent: But you haven't even heard of what you'd get-
Reader: I'd get brainwashed and set on your personal enemies like a dog, believe me, we know the shtick, now f*ck off! I'm drinking my beer!
Reader: is nursing on a root beer
Government agent: knocks the drink out of Reader's hands
Reader: ...
Reader: You little f*ckin' @&>/ !!!! tackles them, biting and scratching, then kicks them out of the soda shop
Reader, answering why they haven't sought out their old "pals", Wolverine and Sabretooth: Well, would YOU try to seek out someone who you haven't had a decent conversation with since the early 1900s who then stabbed you in the guts after his brain got scrambled, or seek out the guy who got so fried in the noggin he tossed ya off a freakin' cliff after beating you to a bloody pulp? No? Well, that's what I thought!
The X-Teens: What the h*ll??!!😨😰
The Brotherhood: That's b*dass!!!🤩😍
The adults: Who did you say you were, again, Mx. Reader? 🧐🤨
Wolverine: I tore their guts out? Poor kid... Hmmm... something still isn't adding up...
Sabretooth: Eh, I toss a lot of people off a cliffs... and turn a lot of people into bloody pulp. Good on them for surviving! Except they seem too familiar to be just a random hit...
Reader: sweating bullets Um... I'm... leaving, right now! runs off, disappearing into the streets
Everyone: ... Okay, we need them as our new member-
Reader, seeing the X-Teens broke into their house and took something: Oh you little...
Reader: JAMES LOGAN CREED HOWLETT!!! GET YOUR F*CKIN *SS DOWN HERE TO FIX YOUR BRATS' MESS, OR SO HELP ME I WILL DRAG YOU BACK HERE BY YOUR F*CKIN' EAR!!! DO YOU HEAR ME?!?!?!
Logan: Who the h*ll is screaming at 1:00am in the morning?!
Logan: spots his kids sneaking into the mansion carrying an old and stained box
Logan: Kids. What. Did. You. Do.
The X-Teens: ... Um... we, um... maybestolesomethingfromReader!! But we had to! They're not telling us something, and we think it's important!
Logan: Well, it looks like you're all returning it, unless you want to be in the Danger Room for the next five hours 😡
The X-Teens: Please, just a peek! 🥺
Logan: ... Ugh, fine, just one look. Then we're gettin' in the car and returning it, you hear me?
The X-Teens and Logan, looking into the box: 😶
The box: full of video tapes, recorders, old papers and journals, and different rocks and fossils and old heirloom jewelry
Logan: Okay, fine, you take one thing, something that would be hard to miss-
Kitty: Done! grabbed an old recorder
Logan: I'll hold onto that, since you kids got us into this mess
Later-
Logan, listening to one of the many recordings in shock: It's been nearly two centuries, but I still miss James and Victor, even if they were both quite brash at times... Boys, right? ... Ha... I think Jimmy is called "Logan" nowadays... I think I should leave him be; he seems happy with his friends, he doesn't need me anymore... I suppose Victor doesn't need me, either... I guess it's hard to miss someone that they can't remember... well, I think that perhaps this summer I'll be able to finally pass-
Logan: pauses the old recording
Logan: ... I need to find them, NOW-
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see-arcane · 3 months ago
Note
The Book: Victor is 20
The casting: 45 year old man
They keep aging Victor up to Appropriate Dad-like Age rather than allowing him to be the unhealthy fainting fever-brained college kid barely out of puberty because
1) Easier paternal comparison with the Creature and
2) It's a lot harder to be aghast at his abandoning !!1! of said Creature and definitely for real responsibility for all the murdering he does when you actually highlight his youth and the unhealed death trauma that spurred him, a 'man' barely past being a boy, to chase the concept of a better human being to spite death
Like, imagine seeing Victor Frankenstein standing beside the Creature as they appear in the book.
A young and stunned David beholding the Goliath he made, misplaced, and has met again only after said Goliath took a turn for the monstrous. A talented boy who invented a wretched man. There's so much more meat to be had with that contrast than with 40-year-old Victor VS Generic Man-Monster in His Prime Creature.
This isn't just a warped parable about parenthood and the way society can form its own monsters. It's about a desperate young man, distraught at the inability to prevent grief and loss, who throws everything into making the 'ideal' impervious improved human. He wanted to make something better than himself and frail humanity, but fucked up colossally. And isn't that something we never see in Frankenfilms!
Imagine a movie that reminds us that Victor wasn't just chasing pure hubris in cackling mad scientist fashion. He wanted to cure death itself so no one would hurt from loss as he did (and never moved past). A child building a solid imaginary friend to magically fix the problem of his pain as masked by scientific cause. The tragedy in it being that the very thing he made to repel death was the figure who would go on to murder all the loved ones he had left in poorly aimed vengeance.
I don't doubt that Oscar Isaac will do well in his role, however del Toro steers him. I'm sure I'll enjoy it. But I don't really need another middle-aged Victor Frankenstein.
I want to see the actual haggard and wretched boy, limping through his final days of life in an arctic waste. A child crushed by what amounted to an elaborate toy he made in lieu of processing his mother's death.
But I won't hold my breath for it.
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daisyjonesgf · 1 year ago
Text
the river (3) // finnick odair x f. reader
summary: the Capitol has taken you away from Finnick, the life you've been trying to build together and now he has to fight to get every part of you back
previous chapter / next chapter
masterlist
4.6k words
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warnings: angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, mental illness, self-hate, suicid/l ideation, brainwashing, paranoia, mentions of trafficking, s/h in the form of scratching, breakups, no use of y/n, unedited, President Snow, threats, slightly mean!finnick towards conway
𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒
Finnick wanted to beg the doctors to see you, but he also was terrified of pushing you into another breakdown. So he'd settled for sitting outside the hospital room’s two-way glass at all times. He didn't sleep, he couldn't, nor eat so he just watched. At first you'd been sedated, but you were relatively calm if untrusting. Which was nothing, especially compared to Peeta who'd tried to kill Katniss. You were quiet, voice small and shaky except when your distrust took over.
A doctor had been trying to get you to swallow some pills with your water which you'd been adamantly refusing, “I don't know what it is."
“It's just a medicine to help fight off any infections you might have." The doctor explained and Finnick was grateful that she was more patient than the others. Yet you still looked uneasy, “We can go over what's in it and what it'll do if you want." The doctor suggested and you slowly, unsurely nodded. They'd showed you the bottle, read to you, and let you read the bottle information before you'd finally agreed to take it.
After hours of this Finnick couldn't help himself anymore, "I want to talk to her.” He abruptly stood from his chair and stared at the medical staff.
"She's calm right now, it might not be wise to do something that could disturb her.”
“Can't you just explain it to her somehow, I'll stay in a chair in the corner, won't move a muscle, you can handcuff me. I need to talk to her." There were sighs, hushed arguments before an agreement was eventually made. So, he stood outside waiting as the doctors tried to convince you to see him.
“Someone wants to see you now, if that's okay. He'll stay right in that chair, won't move at all, if you feel uncomfortable and you call out for us, okay?”
You looked at her, untrusting, "Who?”
She sighed and sat down on the hospital bed with you, she must have decided you were less of a threat and more someone who had to be communicated with. It hurt Finnick to know you'd let a doctor you'd never met so close, but were terrified of him. “You remember that you're married, right?"
“He wants me dead." It was like you couldn't get it off your tongue fast enough.
“No he doesn't." The doctor says, very decidedly and before you can get your next words out she insisted, “We'll all be right outside, so if he did want to kill you we wouldn't let him.”
You shook your head, “No, you wouldn't."
“Why do you think that?"
You laughed a little, “Because I'm a threat, you don't know what I did or didn't reveal, and everyone knows that I…” You trailed off. He couldn't grasp his head around the idea that you were still so attached to that perception of yourself, you did what you had to do, to stay alive.
"Coin granted all the victors rescued immunity. We've got no reason to want you dead.” Silence. You stared at her, she stared back at you. The words must have registered, but you seemed to be too deeply steeped in denial.
“I want to talk to Peeta.” The universe despised Finnick, he was sure of it.
"We can't let you do that.” She said softly.
"Why not?"
"He tried to kill Katniss Everdeen.”
You shook your head, "No, he wouldn't do that. They're just in his head, he'll remember.” The irony of it all, Peeta wanted Katniss dead, and you thought Finnick wanted you gone as well.
“Did they get in your head too?"
You laughed again, “No, no, they didn't."
“Then why do you think Finnick wants you dead?"
You take a deep breath in and sound frustrated, hands bunching up the thin hospital blanket, “They're not in my head! They just showed me what I wasn't paying attention to, I know what happened, and the things I've done. I'm not crazy.” Your voice shook like you were going to cry.
"No one here thinks you're crazy.” Finnick could tell there was more the doctor wanted to say, but was holding out in fear of you devolving. "He will sit in a chair the entire time and no one will let him any closer, I promise you."
Finnick prayed to whatever might have been that they'd let him have a moment, that he'd be able to help you. Your head was buried in your hands, “Okay." You finally muttered and he breathed a sigh of relief.
The doctor smiled, giving an encouraging squeeze to your shoulder as she stood up. Pushing the only chair in the room up against the far wall before exiting. Finnick was anxiously messing with his piece of rope when the doctor finally approached him. “You've got the go ahead, but stay in the chair, no sudden movements, it might startle her enough to make her panic."
“I understand." Finnick nodded and the doctor waited a moment before she opened the door, letting him slowly walk into the bright, white room. And there you were, legs pulled up against your chest like it would give you some extra barrier. He wanted to hold you, to tell you it was all going to be okay, but Snow had even taken that away from him so he sat in the chair. “Hi, sweet girl." He gave a soft smile while you wearily observed him. You were silent though, "Do you know who I am, angel?” He knew you did, but just needed to hear you say something, anything to him.
Every so slowly you nodded, hands rubbing at your neck, "Finnick Odair.”
He hummed a yes,"Mhm, good job. Do you know what we are?” Finnick tilted his head slightly.
You nodded, but it was like the words were stuck in your throat. Squeezing your eyes shut for a second, “I care about you."
He nodded, “We care about each other. We got married, do you remember that?"
“People keep saying it." Stinging pain covered his chest, Snow had taken what was left of your trust, your happiest moments, and left you with the husk of anxiety. “I'm sorry, I can't, I don't know." You hit your head with the bottom of your and started crying.
“Hey, hey, it's okay, don't do that, it's alright!" He wanted to leap up, move your hands away, and have you in his arms. “You don't need to feel bad, angel, can you just tell me what you do know."
Your face became sober almost immediately, “You want to kill me."
“No." He said just as fast, “I'd never want that-"
“You don't have to lie to me, I understand. I can't be trusted, it's a smart move." Hands were back to rubbing your neck.
"What you did to survive all those years ago, when we were teenagers, doesn't mean you're not trustworthy. I trust you." He felt like he was going to cry, he was back at square one, when you'd returned from your games, but now you didn't even trust him.
You shook your head rapidly, “You're trying to get in my head!" There the tears were and his elbows landed on his knees so he could hide the fact his hands served to hide his cries. The world would've been a much kinder place if he was dead, if you were dead, if everyone could just die and stop this endless circle of torture. This was his inescapable boulder he kept pushing up the hill only to see it roll down over and over again, maybe if he'd died the first time around or even in the quarter quell the finality of death would bring peace. His eyes must have been bloodshot when he lifted them from his hands, only to grab the rope again. He needed more rationality to talk to you, this could help him ground himself because if had to live, it had to be with you.
“You used to teach me to tie ropes." You eventually muttered out, curse you and the way you were trying to say something to help him when he was at his weakest, even though you were convinced he wanted you dead.
He looked up from the knot and tried to smile appreciatively even if his eyes were still watery, “Yeah, I did.” He swallowed even though his mouth was completely dry, "I am. I am teaching you to tie ropes.”
You maintained eye contact with him for a while, like you were trying to read into the depths of his soul and he hoped you would find how genuine he was being. You leaned your head back onto the wall, “I could always do most of the knots after the first few times, but I liked it when you would keep helping me.”
"I know.” He missed it, all the times you'd grumble about the activity until he was right behind you, hands on yours where you'd suddenly seem a lot less aggravated. Then you were sobbing and he dug his hands into the chairs arms rests to force himself to stay seated. Not being able to touch you, help you on top of trying to convince you that he loved you was like his own personal hell, so perfectly built.
“See I couldn't even stop myself from lying about that." You choked out through the tears, the rubbing of your neck was turning into scratching.
“That was endearing, I could never hate you for something like that, I could never hate you." You didn't respond to that, the scratching was getting worse, “Sweet girl, you're gonna hurt yourself, you gotta stop." He pleaded, but you were too far gone, muttering things too low to hear under your breath. “God, I can't even help you." Finnick could feel another tear falling down his face, he couldn't grab your hands, breathe with you, keep you comforted, it was eating him up inside and out. So he did the only thing he could, call out for the doctors who quickly marched in to stop you. That's when the yelling that could print his ears with the cacophony of your agony for all of eternity, began. It was remarkable how many people it took to hold you down and get you sedated,
Finnick wished he'd savored every moment he could've had with you. There'd never been a point in leaving you the first time, you were bound to be dragged into the Games, he wasn't the fire that burned you. He could've stayed with you, had so many more moments to think about. Time with you was precious, delicate and he would do whatever it took to have you back
𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒
You were like heaven and he should have known that was something he wasn't worthy of. It was easy to forget that though when with each month he became more and more infatuated, it felt impossible to be as in love with someone as he was with you and so quickly. It just seemed like you understood each other, were so similar, but also filled the gaps for whatever the other lacked. He wanted to take you out every day and when he was feeling more impatient for your company he'd buy out the whole stock of crabs just so you could be off earlier. By the first month of going out he has noticed an interesting development in who Finnick considered to be the worst thorn in his side, Conway.
“Who's that?" Finnick had asked one day, tilting his head in the direction of Conway and a girl who he was with.
You smiled so brightly it made him want to live in a world where it was his sunshine, “Oh, that's Meena! They're going out now." Maybe that thorn was finally being removed.
"She looks just like you.” Finnick whispered slyly.
“She does not!" You rolled your eyes and glanced over at her, "I mean we have the same hair color. So maybe a little."
"And you're both similar heights, same face shape, I wonder if you both have the same eye color too.” You playfully hit his arm as a warning.
"It's better than him being single and moping around, it was kind of driving me insane how melancholy he was being.”
“Because he's madly in love with you." Finnick teased, hands on your waist.
“No, he's just got a crush because he won't talk to other girls. And now he's out of his shell.”
"Because he's madly in love with you and you picked me.” He smiled, leaning his face in closer.
"You're such a dick!” Yet you were smiling and your face was so close to his.
"No, I'm just saying how lucky I am.” You rolled your eyes again and Finnick used it as the perfect opportunity to kiss you which you instantly reciprocated. He was right about Conway and Meena of course, right after Finnick had broken your heart, he'd heard through the grapevine that they'd broken up. Conway was able to take his place back as having some sort of chance with you.
He'd miss the way you'd lay with your head on top of his chest at the beach, didn't stray away from being seen with him in any sense, if the Capitol cameras followed him around you would easily fall into keeping up his appearances for them, he should've been more cautious. When he was upset and couldn't tell you why, you'd hold him, rub his back, do anything to try and help. Which is why when Snow showed up at his house in Victor's Village he felt like any semblance of happiness was being torn away from his grasp.
“President Snow." He greeted, slowly walking inside of the room.
“Mr. Odair, the Capitol has missed you, so much in fact that I had to make this very disappointing visit.”
"I wasn't aware I was needed back so urgently, or else I would have come.” Usually he was notified of the visits, who wanted him now, and when.
"Of course you would've, but would you have been fully there?”
"I don't understand what you're talking about.”
"Your performance, to be enjoying their company, has been lackluster. People aren't convinced that you're, how shall we say it, emotionally present on top of everything else.” He wasn't, it was so much easier to check out of everything.
"I'm sorry.”
Snow hummed, "If people aren't convinced, they're dissatisfied, if they aren't satisfied then I'm dissatisfied, and we both know the outcomes of that.” Everyone he cared about dead, him lonely.
“Yes, I'll do better."
Snow's smile was so menacing, snake-like it sent shivers down Finnick's spike. “Good, we wouldn't want any complaints trickling down, would we?” He turned on a projection of something Finnick couldn't quite decipher. "She's very pretty, I'm sure no one would be pleased if the dissatisfaction continued.” Finnick felt numb all the way through, it was you, arms around him. How could he have been so stupid as to not think about you?
"It won't.” Finnick said quickly, voice choking involuntary.
"Oh good, I wouldn't want to have to get creative with it.” Snow rose from the chair, “The train will be here to pick you up in two days, Mr. Odair." Then the man who smelled of blood and roses was gone, abandoning Finnick with the feeling of lead in his stomach. He had to put as much distance between the two of you as possible, make you less of a target, shrink the one already on your back. He sunk into the chair he was closest to. Trying to remind himself to breathe as he tried to figure out how he was going to break your heart. How do you spend almost a year with someone, praising the ground they walk on and then suddenly leave them in the dust. He couldn't be cruel to you, not when you were so kind. The idea that you would put your walls up again and completely shut him out made his chest ache, a pain that threatened to tear him apart.
He'd have to give you up, condemn you to the life you didn't want to live. Watch as you lose the hope of something newer, something that wasn't expected and settled for the life everyone saw for you. Maybe that's why Conway made him want to be meaner, his blood boil, because deep down Finnick knew that if he didn't have you, Conway's persistence to love you would pay off. You'd stop being the girl who would barter for things she enjoyed if only for a moment, there would be no more fantasies of your soul finally feeling complete, the way you'd both felt together. To protect you, he'd have to put a damper on the dreams.
Finnick hated thinking about how he was supposed to see you that night, how he'd promised to meet you at the beach since you'd insisted you didn't care about the weather as long as you could see him. He'd have only as long as it took to shatter the hopes of being with each other to memorize you. Your smile, your laughter, your playful banter, the way your eyes twinkled, the smell of peaches and the sea, and tasted like peaches and vanilla. For the rest of time you'd only exist as moments he cherished in his brain, distance would be pivotal. No more escapes from your life to his lavish parties, that association would still be close enough to get you hurt, you'd have to be cut off from any droplets of the Fountain of Love he was to you.
He'd steadied himself when the clock had finally ticked to the time that told him to go to the beach, to his ending with you. Time to subject himself to a lifetime of acting for Panem and you to submit to fate. The fates that had decided you'd both had your run and needed to get back on the roads planned out for you. It was windy and cloudy over the ocean, like he was being mocked. He stood there, staring at the stormy horizon that lay ahead of him until you appeared.
“Hi!" The way you smiled like the sun made him think he couldn't do this to you, to himself. He solemnly nodded in response and your eyebrows scrunched together in confusion, you were so beautiful. “What's wrong? Are you not feeling good, we can just go inside, I'll make soup." This was a torture method, how was he supposed to hurt someone who wanted to take care of him at the slightest sensing of upset.
"No, I feel fine.” He said it too sharply and it visibly took you aback. You'd both bickered before, only when someone directly caused it, and then you'd both get over it. Usually someone would do something to get you both to laugh it off, but he'd never been harsh with you.
You crossed your arms like they would provide some sort of defense, the walls were already being put up as far as Finnick was concerned. “Sorry." You stopped looking directly at him, eyes focused on the sand, he wanted to say ‘No, I'm sorry. You're so sweet and you look so pretty.’ To kiss you, your cheeks, your forehead, for his lips to memorize you. The silence was brisk and awkward until you'd felt forced to break it, “So, are we swimming?" He shook his head and it was hard to miss the way you scoffed, “Okay, um, do you just wanna sit and talk? We can do that." How were you still so considerate and sounded so soft, when you were so annoyed? Maybe the barrier wasn't around you, but him because you made no move to give a comforting touch like you usually would, like you weren't sure it would be received well. “Finnick, if you're gonna be in one of your moods and not let me help, I'm sorry, but I'm gonna go home."
“I'm breaking up with you." It spilled off of his lips in a way that made him want to burn them off. He watched the look in your eyes go from concerned annoyance to sad shock.
“What?" The way your voice became shakier made him want to give up on the whole endeavor, say it was some fucked up joke he was dared to do. “What do you mean?" A small nervous laugh forced itself from your throat.
Finnick took a deep breath in, “I can’t be with you anymore.”
"Can't? What does that mean?” It would've been easier if you just cried and ran off.
"It's just not working out.” He didn't want to lie, say it's how he felt or what he wanted, but he had to get you away from the ticking time bomb.
"For who?” You sounded exasperated.
"I can't explain it, I just have to do this, it's better for you, for both of us.” He pushed down the part of him that wanted to start bawling, begging you to refuse to let him go. "I have to protect you.”
To his surprise you didn't pester on that question more and he watched a tear escape from your glossy eyes, "Don't say that.” You shook your head, bringing your hands up to your face to catch the tears. “You can't break up with me and say stuff like that, it's mean." He was confused and it was evident, "It makes me love you so much more.” No, no, no, no you couldn't say stuff like that when he was supposed to rid himself of you. It wasn't fair.
His fingers ran through his tangled hair, "I'm sorry. I really am, but it means you can't be around at all anymore, anywhere. You need to be as far from me as you can be." You tilted your head upwards, towards the sky, closing your eyes as you exhaled. "Say you hate me."
“What?" You looked at him.
“Say you hate me, hit me, tell me to go fuck myself, something. Be angry with me." He could feel the tears escaping, they were supposed to do that.
“Finnick, I'm not going to do that." Then you were unclasping the necklace, the one that you'd work every day since he'd given it to, and it was in your hands instead of around your neck.
“What're you doing?"
“Letting myself know it's over." Then the necklace was in the ocean, floating away, like any hopes and dreams of being with you. The way you'd built your walls back up, stopped crying, blocked him out from your feelings, astonished him. You trusted him enough to take him at his word, that he needed to protect you, and listened. Distance in the mind as well as in person. “Finnick, take care of yourself." You sent him a small, sad smile and then it was like the wind had blown you away. Out of his grasp forever.
𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒
“She agreed to see you again." Finnick's head shot up, the doctors wouldn't let him stay in your room so he initially had planted himself in a chair outside. Eventually they'd just rolled in a hospital bed when they realized he wasn't going to be leaving. He'd spent every second diligently watching over you, making sure you were alright from afar. You'd been sedated most of the time since your breakdown before except when you ate and sat solemnly with your thoughts. “Same rules apply, don't get closer unless she asks, keep a calm, steady tone." Finnick nodded with the doctor's words waiting to be let in.
“I understand." The door clicked open and he was back in that chair across the room. “Hey, angel. Are you feeling better?" Your blanket was pulled up as far as you get it over your knee that was pulled up, holding your face up.
You slowly shook your head, “It's cold." And he couldn't be the heat to contrast that, he couldn't even rise to get you a blanket.
“I can ask them if they can make it warmer or at least get more blankets."
You nodded into your leg,"I'm so lonely, I know you want me dead, but I miss you so much and I'm not even sure why.”
Because you had to know deep down that he would move mountains to keep you safe, that all that had really come forward was from your own self hate. "Why don't we play a game.” You looked at him confused, "You ask me if something is real or not real when you're struggling to tell. Just those words and I'll help you figure it out, angel.”
"How am I supposed to know you'll tell me the truth?”
"You just have to trust me.” You observed him like you were waiting to see a crack in the facade, for a muscle to indicate his deceit. You leaned back in the bed, letting your leg rest.
"You hate me, real or not real.”
"Not real.” You stared at the white ceiling.
"Why not?” There was a beat of silence, "I'm perfectly deserving of it, so why not?”
"Anything you think you did that's worth hating yourself over was something that couldn't be helped, you're so sweet, I could never hate you just because your hand was forced when you were a teenager.” Your eyes shifted back down to look at him, “You don't have to believe me yet, there's a lot going on, but it's true. I love you more than the ocean loves the moon.”
"There's just so much going on in my head. I want to believe you so badly, but something in my head says I can't.” You covered your face to try and hide the fact you'd begun to cry. The things he would've given to kiss away your tears.
“That's okay, sweet girl, I have all the time in the world to prove to that voice otherwise." It was painful to stay seated, to know he had to regain all the privileges he'd once had.
You rubbed at your neck again which worried him to no end, “Can you come closer?”
Finnick wanted to jump up, but he couldn't. "Are you sure?” You nodded and he ever so slowly stood up. "How close?” He asked.
You took some deep breaths to calm yourself before you answered, "Over here."
“You're sure?"
Your breathing was shaky, “Yeah." He was terrified of scaring you away. So he approached cautiously to see if you'd eventually startle, but you didn't. Then he was standing right beside you and it was even harder now not to reach out. Ever so slowly you grabbed his hands, fingers tracing around his palms, each callous, and then you were trailing up to his face. He was confused, but didn't make a mention of it. Your fingers lead themselves around his face, rose with his nose, like they were memorizing each crevice of his face. He shuddered when he felt your touch, it had been so long and your cold hands soothed his hot skin. Then your touch was gone and he instantly missed it, longed for it back. “Thank you. I'm sorry."
“It's okay, sweet girl." You moved away from him and settled yourself laying down.
"Can you lay with me?” You whispered out.
"Of course, angel.” Underneath his facade he was ecstatic as he slid into the spot you'd left for him.
"Can you just keep your hands on top of you, so I can see them?” Your voice was so nervous.
"Absolutely.” His hands landed firmly on his stomach as he lay there with you.
Maybe now the long rope didn't seem as appealing.
𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒
thank you so much for reading and all the support! comments, feedback, reblogs, and likes are all super appreciated. my ask box and requests are open, I've got some I'm working on right now, love you all so much 💋
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siolixz · 6 months ago
Text
♔Of Love and Loyalty♔
+18
Part 3: the end.
<Part 2><Part 1>
Pairings: Oz "The Penguin" Cobb x Reader
Reader takes Victor's place in this story. She has already been through enough by now and Oz's ruthless ambition finally meets the satisfaction of power. Hope you guys like it- I spent most of my day writing this and I apologize for any grammar mistakes. I'll fix them when I wake up. Please, remember that MY Oz has been changed a bit from the show Oz- in order to make a "x reader story" I gotta humanize him, while also keeping him at least half true to the masterpiece Lauren created. I have enjoyed writing this story sooo much. Everyone is 18+ and consenting.
Words: 6.2k
Enjoy and give feedback If you want :)
Warnings: mentions of violence, vulgar language, age-gap relationship, smut ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡° )
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You don’t remember how you got here. 
First you remember talking to Oz about something on the phone early in the morning after a delivery- then you remember going home to sleep and when you arrived- there was nothing. 
What the fuck happened? There was a guy- he came towards you. Then you looked at him- then he; he punched you? So that’s why you have a splitting headache. Everything felt like a dream- were you dreaming right now?
Are you sleeping? Why is everything so dark? 
You could hear voices, faint voices but they were there. Someone grabbed you by your arm and forced you upright. Now there was light everywhere and your eyes felt like they were on fire. Why is everything so fucking bright?
You blinked a few times and looked around the room; wow, how fancy. Where were you? The walls looked like they were carved and you only saw furniture like this when you looked at the TV. You saw a man there, a big guy; an enforcer, you thought, and in your dazed state you asked him “Where am I?” he looked at you and remained quiet. Great.
Your head was killing you. Jesus. Your hands and feet weren’t tied however- how odd.
You rapidly lifted your head when you heard the sharp sound of a pair of heels on the expensive floor, the door opened and- Oh, it’s her. 
“Look who’s awake.” Sofia softly smiled at you, she’s gonna kill you probably. Why does she have a plate of food?
“I brought you breakfast- you’ve been gone quite a while you see.” She walked across from you and placed the plate down on the table. 
“I bet you’re wondering what you are doing here.” she came over and sat next to you- crossing her legs and leaning back “You and I have a lot to talk about.”
She looked you up and down. You looked like the complete opposite of her, in your jeans and t-shirt, you were sure your face was smeared with blood too- where you got punched.
“Are you nervous?” she asked- her eyes were examining every inch of your face, trying to search for any signs of anxiety or sadness. You shook your head- “No.” you said. 
She said your full name and gave a long description of your family- what they did, what jobs they had, she mentioned your sister too, your poor sweet sister- how dare she speak their names. 
“When I saw you at Oz’s apartment or at the club, I didn’t get a good look at you. But I did see the way he looked at you.” a small smile danced on her lips “ like he would look away and you would be gone, like in a dream. How fascinating I thought. Some girls spend their whole lives wishing someone would look at them like that.” You listened to her and she came closer to you.
“You know, I really never noticed at the time- how young you are.” She once again looked you up and down, her voice became quieter
“Guess this is the same old tragic story, ‘orphaned street kid falls prey to some maniacs silver tongue’ . Yours won’t be any different, I can assure you. Maybe you believe it will- but it won’t.” She got up again and walked towards the table. She picked up a piece of toast and sat back down next to you.  
“W-why am I here?” you asked her, your throat was sore and that stupid headache was still there. 
“Why?” she looked surprised “Didn’t you figure it out by now? You’re our bargaining chip- you’re gonna help us. Greatly. Sal already has Oz, now all we need is to find a way to kill him.”  There was an indescribable emptiness in your stomach at her words
“Of course after I make sure he feels the same sort of sadness he inflicted on me-that’s where you come into play. ”
You looked down at your feet, trying to find words to pronounce. This is what this sort of life brings you, death. Only death and pain.
“What ma-makes you think he’s gonna su-suffer as much as you?” you muttered- more to yourself really. 
“The way he looks at you and sure- looks ain't enough, but the way he talked to me about you.” She exhaled loudly, like a schoolgirl talking about a crush, mocking you.
“Some people could only dream about that. You know, he talked about you at my brother’s funeral and the way he would compliment you before the deal at the club; but besides that-” her face got serious.
“-you’re the closest person to him. The only person who knows the in’s and out’s of the massive drug operation he built; his second in command, you have his ear and loyalty. You’re the last thing he has got left in this world, without you, he’s all alone.” she leaned back again.
“I almost feel sorry for you.”
You blinked, trying to make sense of her words- she continued, disgust laced in her words “You’re just a fucking kid.” 
There was a silence that followed that only made the gravity of her words more apparent.
“He put this on you. It seems to me- like you had a pretty good life- before all this. You studied well, you had a lot of friends- it seemed like your life couldn’t get better. Then the floods came and you turned into a street rat. Now you think him saving you was what you needed- but no. He’s a manipulator and a liar and he will stop at nothing to achieve his goals.” She took another deep breath and squinted her eyes at you in judgment.
“I mean, don’t you ever think what your parents would say? Seeing you with a man like that?”
“Don’t talk about my parents-” she was pressing your buttons and you knew that lashing out at her was at the cost of your own life right now.
“What would your mother say? Huh? I bet she wanted her little girl to find herself a good man, with a nice job, but no.. she found herself a drug lord.” Sofia snickered, half in disgust and half in pity. 
“You kn-know… Oz-“  you started and she cocked her head to the side
“He’s gonna kill Sal, just like-like he did his wife and son and th-then he’s coming straight for you.”  
“You have a lot of faith in him.”
“Yes I do.” Yes you did. If there was one thing you knew about him is that he was unstoppable, one way or another- he was going to get his way and he was going to win in the end. He had to. 
You lowered your tone and leaned closer to her “He’s always-always two steps ahead. He will come for you.” There was a twinge of something on her face, was it- was it fear? 
She got up and left afterwards. Thank god. You didn’t want to see her again.
Some time passed; your stomach was rumbling but you didn’t eat the food she prepared, you had time to think- think about what she said. 
What would your mom say? It almost brought tears to your eyes thinking about them. 
Late at night before you would go to sleep, since you were young she would always come in and kiss your forehead. That was your ritual. 
You smiled before it was quickly wiped from your face when you remembered what sort of life you had now. What would she think?
“My little girl” she would say “so brave” she’d probably be disappointed, so disappointed. Her and your dad too. They despised people like Oz, people shouldn’t murder and cheat their way to the top. He was the complete opposite of the man they were hoping you'd be with. 
They loved Robert, always inviting him at home to eat together, he was a good boy, he listened and he studied well, it’s better he left Gotham.
They would probably be frightened by Oswald, afraid to even look at him. This man couldn’t look acceptable to the parents of a young girl like you in a million years, from the big scar on his face to his gold teeth and manner of talking. 
They would rather hope for him to be your sugar daddy than you loving- loving him?
You knew at this point there was no going back, you loved him- you did. However wrong this was. You loved all of him and you were disgusting, both of you. 
You blinked away the tears that were threatening to fall. 
Was he gonna be sad you were nowhere to be seen or heard? Was he turning the place upside down when he saw you were gone? Was he for a split moment thinking you tried to leave, and this time, you were successful? Was he thinking all those nights and days spent by his side, next to him- over him and under him were all a facade when you stopped responding to his texts?
Someone called out your name.
 “I’m doctor Julian Rush... I am a psychiatrist” He looked at Sofia who was also next to him then back at you “I’m here to help you.”
Dr. Julian Rush weirded you out, severely. He put you down on a sofa and started asking you things, about your family, about how you felt- he had this ginormous light that would flash red that only worsened your state of defiance. It induced this sort of feeling in you- seeing it. 
It toyed with your emotions and feelings; it made you remember. You remembered everything.  
You told them everything.
From your earliest memories in Gotham, to your latest. Riding your bike down the street as a kid, running with your friends to your favorite diner before it closed, family nights, the happiness you felt when walking in your home, even if your parents or sister sometimes annoyed you- you were so rich in their love and warmth- so happy.
 You told them how you saw your apartment get swallowed up by the waves- how you tried to call; warn them, but to no avail.
At this point you were definitely crying your eyes out- holding yourself and trying to find some comfort.
Living in a FEMA camp was a nightmare, a nightmare that was never ending and it seemed to only become more like reality every damn day. You scraped by, you had to eat and live not just survive. So you joined some of the local boys there when they said they were going to find something to sell.
You never thought you would be stealing; you knew it was wrong and evil, but you did what you had to do. Life is cruel. 
You tried to remember everything. Not wanting to lose even a bit of detail. 
You had to be quick. Until he comes back. The first look at the Maserati waiting out there was like a piece of pie ready to be eaten- one of the boys went “wow” when he saw it and you were next to it like some hyenas soon enough.
At the first shot, you saw everyone scream and pick themselves up to run. You acted too slow that night, too busy with doing a good job to notice you were the one closest to him. 
The first time you looked at Oswald, you thought he was the scariest man you’ve ever seen in your whole life- especially because it was night time and because he just tried to fucking kill you. 
You told them how he made you do all those things. How lonely he was- how he touched you and looked at you sometimes. You told them you found kinship in one another, how you weren’t that lonely anymore and how utterly frightened he made you feel. Every.Damn.Day.
How you cried yourself to sleep all those nights, how you wanted to be better- be something more and this was the only way. This or death.
You told them about Robert too- how you hoped he had a better life, find someone who will love him and treasure him. How he tried to make you go with him and you tried to. By God you did, until he came back that night at the club. How he pushed a gun in your face and-and-
You blinked yourself out of it slowly, you knew you wanted out. This sick piece of shit was toying with you. With your emotions.
She brought you back in, reminded you about how he looked that night- what he said about you “you can remember, just tell us” the Doctor said.
His smell and all of him. A sick man, he was sick.
He wanted you all to himself and would kill you if that’s what it takes. 
You remembered your mother’s words to you at every family gathering or dinner “She’ll find a good man, one who takes care of her. I know it. Maybe a doctor, let’s hope.” You heard everyone laugh; so clearly- like they were there with you.
It seemed like they were taunting you now.  They expected so much more from you. 
You felt better whenever he was around you, how he would talk and walk to his jokes and smile. He was everything to you now. Late at night you would talk about all the things you wanted to do or have. You told him about your biggest dream in the whole world:
“A pen-penthouse” you whispered next to him as you were looking down at your fingers from your place on the couch. Maybe he thought it was stupid, how could someone like you ever achieve that?
“Yeah?” he turned to you “That what you want?” he asked, a small smile was gracing his lips.
“Yes. No one is above you or beside you; the c-city skyline.” If you closed your eyes, you could picture it—clear as day.
“With b-big windows so I can look outside and great big rooms with high ceilings- like in the movies.”
Julian told you Oz took all of that from you. Your old life- if he cared, if he truly cared he would’ve let you go that night. The bastard.
Sofia told you he manipulated you, he molded you into the woman he wanted you to be, you’re just a kid. You should have no part in this. 
It must’ve been hours since you haven’t eaten or drank anything.
You wanted to go back to Crown Point, have him tell you it’s all a bad dream “Let’s cook something, I’m starving-” he’d say and you two would chat until late at night. You slept the best with him in bed with you, even if he snored and it was hard to get him to turn over on the other side. You missed that. 
They grabbed you again- taped your mouth shut and stabbed you with something tiny, like a needle; it felt like a pinch. You proceeded to drive into the city and they shoved you through the back door- and then you saw him.
Tied down to a chair with tape, a towel shoved in his mouth, he started yelling and struggling when he saw you- making a gesture towards Sofia- like he wanted to strangle her.
This felt like a movie, like something you weren’t experiencing yourself- more like something you were watching from afar. Was this it?
The last moments of your life; they got you two and now everything has gone to shit again. 
Well you couldn’t say you weren’t close to getting what you wanted. 
You looked at him as they sat you down on a chair, trying to remember everything you could about him. You felt like crying but no tears came out.
“So, now that everyone is gathered here-” Sofia started “-I wanted to bring some stuff to the surface. Shine some light regarding some things.” She walked around you and back towards Oz.
He looked at you then back at her; confused. 
“Oz, while you were getting blown up- me and your ‘Bonnie’ had a talk. It was a real eye opener, I would say.” she glanced back at you
“Do you wanna tell us why you decided to spare her life that night? Let’s have your side of the story.” Sofia took the towel out of his mouth-
“What the fuck is this shit? You’re a sicko- ya know that? Jesus Christ” He yelled while looking at you and her.
“-Oz, you wanna tell us, huh?-”
“Fuck you!” 
“Alright. Well I already know everything. Your little girl here sang like a bird-”
“-Fuck did you do to her?!”
“Nothing. We just had a conversation, girl to girl.” she gave him a smile “She told me everything.” 
Oz looked at you, confusion clearly written on his face. You couldn’t even shake your head no- something was wrong. You could barely lift it. Did they give you something?
“You think she’s in love with you-” Sofia cocked her head to the side “-I’m here to tell you, she’s not. This whole thing that you two have- fear, fear ties her to you. It was all a lie. All of it.”
Oz looked at you again. Fuck you could barely lift your head, it looked like you were staring at the ground, not wanting to make eye contact with him, your vision became blurry too.
You tried to blink away the feeling of falling asleep, what was happening?
Oswald called out your name and you heard him yelling at you that he was going to get you out of here. 
“You’ve ruined her life. Because you’re selfish and greedy and lonely. That night at the club- she wanted to leave- to escape, and you brought her back. You held a gun to her face and told her she’s not going anywhere-”
“Fuck you-”
“You know what Oswald? I think she would like an apology. Right here and now. An apology for the life she could’ve had.” 
You don’t know how but you managed to lift your head and look him in the eyes. You tried to move your legs- tried to wake the fuck up. 
“She wanted this.” He said. 
Julian grabbed your hand and placed it on the table. “From which hand was the finger that you cut? The left or the right- It was the left.” Sofia said.
It must’ve been the pain that woke you up halfway from the episode you must’ve been having because your eyes fully opened when you realized that they were cutting your finger. Shit, shit, shi-
You heard Oz call out your name and throw profanities towards Sofia. “All you gotta do is apologize, Oswald.-”
“-She knew what she was getting herself into I-”
“-Say you’re sorry-”
“-I told you I ain't got-”
“-Just say you’re fucking sorry!” 
The pain almost made your ears ring and you screamed into the tape that was on your mouth, trying your best to get away from the pain you were feeling. 
“This is fucking insane!” 
The pain stopped and you grabbed your hand, trying to get some relief. 
“You would’ve let me cut it.” Sofia’s voice was filled with disgust “Rather than admit you made her life worse, you would’ve let me cut it…you’re fucking despicable.”
You saw Julian grabbing something from his suitcase and bringing it closer to your arm. It looked like- like a needle. 
“I never realized it till now but this is almost like a high for you, isn’t it?” Sofia's voice was almost a whisper “Having someone so utterly dependent on you, her sole reason for existing is because you let her. You have her whole life in your hands… you’re a fucking bastard. What were you thinking huh? One day you were gonna make her Mrs Cobb and you two would live happily ever after?” 
Julian managed to get the needle in your skin and you felt a warmth spread across your whole body. You looked at Oz and saw how hard he was struggling against his restraints and the look of fear on Sophia's face when he actually freed himself.
What was she thinking- binding a 250 pound man with duct tape on a chair as old as this restaurant? You heard the commotion and you tried to stand up but black dots started to appear in your vision-
“She fell and hit her head- “ you felt like you were dreaming but you could hear and feel certain things. Like when he put you in the back of the car or when he placed you on the hospital bed. Maybe you died. 
“She’s gonna be alright, yeah?” 
“We’ll do anything we can, sir.” 
You thought you died and instead of the devils in hell torturing you for all the injustice you have done- there was nothing. Nothing. Just the sound of something beeping and the sound of voices sometimes, you could also smell- was this a hospital? 
There was also yelling and a voice. You knew that voice. 
“C’mon doll, open those big eyes for me. Please.” a hand brushing your hair back and one touching your hand.
“I did it. I’m the fucking king- all this shit ain’t gonna mean anything if you don’t wake up.” you heard him whisper.
“Please open your eyes, sweetheart. Please” 
When you finally woke up, it must’ve been late in the afternoon. The sound of rain softly touching the window and the beeping of the monitor was the only sound in the sterile room.
You swallowed, trying to wet your throat.
Your eyes felt like they were opened for the first time or like when you want to take a short nap in the evening and you wake up at 12am, they felt like they were sewed shut and only now you could open them.
You looked around the room and saw that your hand was being held- There he is, you thought to yourself. 
He was sitting on a chair, his head uncomfortably placed on his shoulder- ouch- that's gonna hurt later. You raised your right hand; placing it on your stomach and squeezed his with your left.
Once and then twice. 
“O-oz, Oz.” your voice was hoarse like you yelled all night long, you squeezed his hand again- harder this time. 
He finally lifted his head and looked at you. His eyes were so red and bloodshot; he must’ve been crying. 
Oswald looked shocked and then relief flooded his face- his eyes lit up- “Hey-” he said, then kissed your forehead.
“-you’re finally awake.” He hugged you and you placed your arms around his neck, slowly- but you did. 
“I did it.” his voice was muffled by the pillow and your neck “I showed all those sons of bitches.” You rubbed his back- not knowing what exactly he meant by that.
“I thought you weren’t gonna wake up.” he lifted his head and looked at you “They gave you something, pento- something. I thought-” He was getting choked up. This big strong bull of a man.
“Ye-yeah well, I was halfway to hell when I remembered I forg-forgot you here so…” you whispered.
He started laughing at that- touching your foreheads together; gold teeth gleaming.
After you left the hospital you told him you just wanted to sit and talk. So he drove you to a park, it was very secluded- you two sat on a bench overlooking the river.
 He explained to you everything he had done, from throwing Sofia in Arkham to getting all the crime bosses murdered by their second in command and now having something to hold over a congressman- Oswald would be running in the upper circles as one of them, not a lieutenant or a cripple- one of them.
 “What a smart man” you said while hugging the jacket you had on closer to you. Winter was already here. The city lights softly illuminating his face, he had the expression of a man who won it all- he was on top of the world. 
“Fuck- ya' know, I couldn’t have done it without you.” He looked at you softly and with admiration
“You are really something special kid.” he smirked at you, leaning back a little- trying to take all of you in. 
“Oz, you’re like fam-family to me.” You told him and saw as his expression shifted- something laid beneath his eyes- you couldn’t place a finger on what.
“You see - “ he grabbed your body and pulled you closer to him, his face mere inches from yours “You showed me, doll- you can be my greatest strength. But the thing about family is… they make you fight harder than you ever thought you could. They show you what you’re really capable of- even when you’re not seeing it.” he grabbed the side of your neck, gently brushing his thumb over your face. 
He was hesitant, a man so full of words and phrases was left without any in this moment. 
“It weakens you too and I think- I think all of this would not mean as much if you weren’t by my side.” He kissed you. 
You never in a million years thought you were ever gonna drive a Maserati- now you were in a Rolls Royce.
 A gorgeous purple color, something that once only showed his flamboyance now signals his power and influence over everything that moves in the underworld of Gotham, he was “the king” and you couldn’t be more proud of him and you. When the car rolled down the street people stopped and stared at it, talking among themselves and taking pictures. 
He told you that night, after a very expensive dinner- he had a surprise for you “Somethin’ real special” he got. 
You entered a very fancy apartment complex, the opulence of the place immediately striking you as the elevator whisked you up.
In the mirrored walls of the lift, you couldn’t help but smile to yourself, catching a glimpse of the two of you.
 “You two look like a match”, you remembered Roxy’s words from the club. You were both dressed in black—the most expensive dress you owned, a gift from him- and Oz, who looked as if he had stepped out of a Fred Astaire movie. So poised, so polished. People with your kind of money didn't even open their own car doors.
You’d asked him where you were going, and he only replied, "It's a surprise," with that familiar glinted smile of his.
Oz was a man who relished in the influence his newly acquired power gave him. He’d been rapidly reconstructing Crown Point, making a name for himself not just among Gotham's underground elite but also rubbing shoulders with the high society.
It wasn’t a stretch to imagine that one day he’d run for mayor- and you’d be right by his side.
The elevator doors slid open, and you stepped out into the apartment, breath catching in your throat.
It was... breathtaking.
The entire space was so grand, it felt almost unreal, as though the world had bent its will to cater to him. To you. You almost couldn’t take it all in at once.
The high ceilings stretched above you, the living room expansive and bathed in the soft glow of a fireplace, the crackling warmth spreading throughout the room. But it was the view that stole your breath. The floor-to-ceiling windows revealed all of Gotham, its lights twinkling below like a blanket of stars.
You moved toward the window, your feet almost moving on their own as you absorbed the beauty. The city spread out endlessly, like a maze of lights and possibilities, and here you were—at the top of it all.
The heat from the fireplace surrounded you, making the space feel so warm, so alive, and for a moment, everything outside of this apartment, faded away. This was your world now. You could hardly believe it, after everything that had happened.
After everything he’d done to get here.
Oz stood behind you, his presence so steady and unwavering. You could feel his eyes on your back, his gaze warm, yet calculating, as if he was still analyzing the moment.
"Ya' like it?" His voice was soft but full of that familiar edge- he wasn’t just asking about the apartment.
You could tell there was something deeper in his question, an unspoken desire to know if you truly liked the life he had built for you, for the two of you.
You turned to face him, the firelight catching his features, casting soft shadows across his face. His eyes were dark, intense, as though he was trying to read your every emotion.
You met his gaze, the warmth of the room matching the heat you felt in your chest.
This is it, you thought. The beginning of everything, everything you’d ever wanted. And somehow, it felt like the end of something else.
You took a step closer to him, and for a moment, you simply stood there, breathing in the air between you. You could feel the tension in the air, thick and heady. 
“Of course” you proudly announced. You loved it- every inch of it.
Oz stepped forward, closing the distance with one smooth movement. His hand reached out, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear, the simple touch sending a shiver down your spine.
His voice was low, only for you to hear, “I made it happen for you... for us. All of it. Tell me, doll... you proud of me?” He came closer to you, grabbing your face. 
“Of course,” you said. Excitement gripped you and you knew him asking that sort of question meant he was in need of some love and appreciation. 
“You know-” you got out of his grip.
“-I actually want to see the master bedroom- maybe the sheets are purple too.” You laughed- the adrenaline you felt when his face changed to one of excitement as well turned you on and you left your shoes near the staircase that went upstairs- to the second floor of the massive penthouse. 
The icy cold feel of the floor didn’t matter to you as you almost sprinted to one of the doors upstairs - you heard him climb the steps and your heart started pumping. 
Even after all this time of making love to Oz, the electric rush that shot up your spine every time you saw that wild spark in his eyes- made you crazy.  You quickly took your panties off and got on the gorgeous bed. The bedding was so comfortable- like a cloud.
The door opened and you saw him. 
“You got some nerve, runnin’ away like that.” he said as he came close to the left side of the bed and grabbed the upper part of the dress, almost testing how easy it was to pull it off, you simply giggled at him. 
How were you ever afraid of this man? 
You rubbed your hand on his hard on and he gave you a shaky breath- still crazy about you. 
"Wouldn't be the first time you tried to disappear." He paused, eyeing you intently, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his lips "Turn around."
He unzipped your dress and undressed you- gasping when he saw you weren’t wearing anything underneath. You got on your knees and helped get him undressed too- before he would always leave his clothes on, always preferring to have only you naked when you were with him. Things change.
He climbed on top of you and you welcomed him between your legs. This man- all of him, you loved him so much. He gave you the whole world. You both groaned when he entered you and set a very gentle pace while kissing your neck. You put your arms around his neck and pulled him closer. 
“Tell me you’re proud of me.” He whispered in your ear
“I’m so proud of you- “ you gasped as he pressed himself even harder inside you “You’ve done so much for us-” he did it again, harder this time “And I love you” he started fucking you even harder, the feel of his greater thighs touching the underside of yours and the sound coming from your pussy were louder than your soft moans and his groans of pleasure. You squeezed his body with your legs.
“There’s-there’s-” the feeling of having him in you, while he pressed himself deeper and deeper, his body over yours as he was holding himself up on his forearms next to you- you’ll never get tired of it “There’s nothing-nothing standing in your way.” 
He kissed you, putting his tongue in your mouth “You’re so beautiful, doll” He kissed all over your face as he said that and squeezed your breasts as he pounded into you. “So fucking beautiful” his eyebrows were furrowed and eyes closed, deep in thought about how you felt around him. 
“Fuck- com’ here” he pulled himself out and got on his back, slowly touching the side of your body as you lowered down on his penis with your lips. 
Oz wasn’t the sort of guy that enjoyed small kisses near his manhood and soft touches, if he wanted you to suck him- he wanted you to get to business. 
He grabbed hold of your hair- not for dragging you up and down him but to help you. You climbed on his leg- to pleasure yourself while you’re at it, no? 
Your lips enclosed around his head and as you bobbed your head up and down him you tried to breathe through your nose and help yourself with your hands. One cradling his balls and one on his penis, up and down. 
His moans were like music to your ears as you pleasured him, whenever you would stop at his head and lick the underside of it, he would press himself even higher in your mouth.
“I love you, doll. I love you-” he would chant as you took him. 
You rubbed yourself on his thigh as you sucked him, your legs were almost shaking.
“You take me so good- you’re such a good girl- my good girl.” This man and his words. 
When you would get off of him to breathe, he would push your head down to lick his balls and then make you get up to suck him again. His grip on your hair was becoming even tighter, bringing you down on him until you almost choked and then back up again.
 He would thrust up into your mouth as he got closer to his peak, chanting your name and how much he wanted to fuck you.
“I wanna fuck you so bad-” He pulled you on top of him and you gave him a giggle as you sat on top of his cock- only exciting him more.
“You wanna ride daddy baby?” it was a new nickname he enjoyed to give himself, you don’t know what changed in him, maybe the way people in society looked at you two, Oswald Cobb and his much younger woman. You nodded excitedly and grabbed his length from down below.
Fucking such a powerful man- he was the king, you should be proud of yourself.
He ran the Gotham underworld with an iron fist, everyone was afraid and respected him while also loving him too- he gave them jobs, he gave them a place to sleep- he took care of people. 
“Oh, baby..” he pulled you out of your daydream as he grabbed your waist and dragged you up and down him “I wanna get you pregnant doll” 
Your stomach twisted when you heard that-in a good way. You felt butterflies in your stomach and your pussy only got wetter. His eyebrows were furrowed and his groans were becoming even louder- you loved how loud he would get when he got close to cumming.
 He grabbed your breast in his hand while the other held your waist- fingers gripping into the skin there and you grabbed his chest to steady yourself as you rocked yourself on him. 
His fingers readjusted themselves on your body, gripping even harder this time- he would push himself into and his movements became erratic when near his climax. You smiled at Oz as you saw him gasp and hold you still. 
As he held you in his big arms that night, you had a clear view of the city from the bedroom window- you couldn’t believe you were here.
After everything you had to go through- finally, maybe your parents wouldn’t be disgusted with you. 
You had everything you ever needed here, with him, he was gonna keep you safe from now on.
 Maybe your mom, dad and little sister were happy- their girl found herself a man who fought tooth and nail to get where he was now; his ambition never ending and his resilience like iron, he loved you, he was going to give you children and give you a life you only ever imagined in your wildest dreams. 
Was he a bad man? Mayhaps, for some. His profession required him to be- but he was also sweet and kind and good. People weren’t black and white. 
Your eyes were slowly closing with the soft snores of your soon to be husband lulling you to sleep.
Gotham winked at you from down below- reminding you it took you right where she wanted.
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Author's note: AHHHHH its been so much fun writing this- thank u for reading and I hope it was good. Thank you to @fat-bottom-demons because I don't think I would've been this quick in writing this big ass chapter without her nice words.
The Finale made me feel like I got punched in the throat lol. I hated Oz, like I didn't even look at the scene in order to reproduce it here in this chapter- something I usually do and poor Sofia, hope she wrecks his shit in the movie.
I wanted to keep Oz's nature of a manipulative and horrible man in this story as well- it's just that he CAN love and he can make himself vurnelable enough to love someone like he loves the reader- which he is also kinda obsessed with.
Maybe I will revisit this story- once we see what he's up to in the movie ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)
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akajustmerry · 2 days ago
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maybe I'm a little bias because I do love the books a lot, but I don't think any of the recurring characters from the main trilogy that appear in Sunrise On The Reaping are unjustified. I've seen a lot of people critique Sunrise On The Reaping by saying there are too many "cameos", mostly they bring up Mags and Effie as examples, because these readers feel like it's all too self referential and small worldy. I'm not tryna tell anyone how to feel, but solidarity and deep unseen friendships between the victors were very well established in Catching Fire. It felt very par for the course to me personally when Wiress and Mags showed up as Haymitch's mentors because it makes his implicit trust and grief for them in the trilogy all the more meaningful. Wrt Effie....again, I'll acknowledge my Haymitch/Effie enjoyer bias here, but learning in SOTR that Effie's family were traitors in the war which is why she and her sister are assigned district 12 despite their obvious talents made a lot of her loyalty to the D12 victors make sense. It's made very clear that Haymitch is such a pariah after winning that only Effie is willing to escort him in part because she sees it as an opportunity to reform her family name, partly because she does respect Haymitch. To me, none of these appearances by these characters feels forced, it's more like being shown the foundations of a house. Finally, ppl saying that Haymitch knowing Katniss' parents and vice versa feels too heavy handed honestly just seems like lack of literacy to me. District 12 is the smallest district. Everyone knows everyone. Katniss says on the victory tour over and over that she's shocked by how much bigger the majority of districts are to her own. Moreover, Haymitch and Katniss' mum talk a handful of times to one another in front of Katniss and each time it's pretty clear they know each other. I think there's a valid critique in pointing out that there's a limited amount of new world building, etc in Sunrise On The Reaping, which is strange for a prequel. But I do think one of the overall points to SOTR is to say that: almost everything has happened before but that doesn't mean there's no value in it or nothing is learned. I don't think people have to like that as a message, I've got my own issues with it too, but I really don't think there's any character in SOTR that feels like it's Wrong for them to be there. I think a lot of people have made the movies the main version of the story in their heads and in doing that are judging this book in relation to the films and maybe idk reread the books!!!!! Because everything is justified when you've read the books!!!! You don't have to agree with the or like thr justification, but it is justified.
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shatcey · 27 days ago
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Victor's route (MLE)
Well… I've finished Victor's Mad love ending (MLE) and I want to say a few words. No spoilers, just simple facts.
In the main part of the route, we will learn about how Victor's cursed ability works. The words he commanded sound very familiar, but I can't remember where I heard them. But… I couldn't find an explanation for how Vivi figure out what words he should say… Perhaps it will be explained in the blind love ending (BLE).
In MLE, we learn a little about his grim fate. Everything is quite simple and logical. I'm not even surprised.
BUT there is no information about his fairy tale. Maybe it will be in the BLE.
William knows a lot about Victor. Victor told him about it himself. The whole 11 and 12 chapters, William tells us about Victor's past.
William very much presence at this route. Even so he's not the same William we used to, harsher, more playful, more active… But I like this William anyway. This is what I expect from him when I just start to play this game so I'm very happy.
The Vogels have only one scene each. They don't affect the plot in any way. Well… you can say that Dari forced Vivi to show up. And Rina infected Kate with his inability to navigate the building in which he has been living for several weeks. It's okay, baby, not everyone has a map in their head. I also get lost often.
The other boys not much presence. At the beginning of the route and at the 3 first chapters of the MLE. I like how neatly the developers put the story together. Yes, this is Victor's story, but the boys always invisible presence, and Kate goes on missions with them.
Kate had never been in a situation where she was abducted or injured. The skinned knee didn't count, it was entirely her fault. But… considering her condition and how Vivi protected her all the time, it's understandable.
Victor doesn't often show his harshness or dictatorship. I expected this, but mostly he was very sweet, caring and very kind. I can't say that I am disappointed. No. I'm disappointed! I wanted to see that side of him. I dreamed about it. But I just drowned in sweetness. There was one scene in MLE that made me squeal. But I'll write about it later.
I didn't feel fate in this story. At all. Despite the fact William said that it was fate… I shouldn't doubt the expert's opinion, but I really don't see it. Vivi literally said that he often came to this church to meet her again. So it's not surprising that they actually meet in the end. It was a pretty logical result of his actions. The last meeting indeed seems fateful. But… with whom… that's the question. The fact that she was crying over the cat makes me think about one particular person… and it's not Victor.
This is a story about how to work on relationships. There are a lot of misunderstandings and incorrect formulations… And Kate, as she said at the previous event (Love Contract), is really working to solve all the problems. Victor… with his good intentions in mind… tried not to help her. But… he didn't stop her from doing that either.
And one last thing… In the epilogue of MLE, Kate told Vivi why she likes him... and this is a lot… to make him blush. And failed. But in my favorite 17 chapter (yes, I have a favorite chapter in this route), she made him blush… just staring at him. So… it's not words that make him blush, but actions (smiles happily). I love it!
Now that I've finished reading Vivi's route, I hope I'll have more free time and be able to finish writing about this route as soon as possible. And I have a long list. And right after that, I'll finally get back to other games. And I'll work on the stories that I planned to write a few weeks ago... I will do that!!! No doubt.
Don't get me wrong, I love Vivi, and I really enjoyed his route. But I don't want to get tired of this game, so I'd like to switch to something else before that happens.
I will continue to publish one chapter per day. Victor's route is full of interesting scenes.
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🔝 𝕊𝕋𝔸ℝ𝕋 ℙ𝔸𝔾𝔼 🔝
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lunamadhatter99 · 1 year ago
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All for the cameras
chapter 2
Finnick Odair x fem!reader
Here we go, part 2! Thank you, thank you, thank you all for the support with the first chapter!! I'm so glad that everyone liked it.
I hope you're going to like this second chapter too🤞 again if you're new and want to be tagged in the next chapter, comment here❤️❤️❤️
Chapter summary: It's time for the big event. And better keep our eyes open.
Chapter warning: none, except the usual mention of prostitution and usual Hunger Games stuff. Nothing too wild. We still won't see Finnick in this chapter, but I promise it's going to be worth it❤️
Tag list
@guacam011y
@justtrying2getby
@idontevenknow1359
@alexandra-001
@bambikitten
@maggiecc
@redh00dsbf
@haneybunny
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@sisiking99
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"Snow is watching us." Haymitch says, we're almost at the Capitol for the final interview and the big celebration.
"Of course, he is. He needs to watch everything. Especially the inconveniences," I scoff.
"Yeah. And if he wants you to pacify the districts, I promise you, he's not happy." Haymitch continues, "instead of being in love, you two sounds like you're reading from a drilling manual."
"You try reading that stuff that Effie writes us," Peeta mutters.
"Snow doesn't care." I tell him. "That's not how you want to convince him."
"I'm open to suggestions," he says back, tired.
"We could get married," Katniss quietly suggests, not looking up at anyone.
"That's not helping," Haymitch comments.
"I'm serious. If, like you said we're on this train forever, it's gonna happen eventually. Why not now?"
"It does make a statement. I'll give you that." Haymitch then looks at Peeta who agrees, but quickly stands up and leave. Katniss looks at me.
"It's something we can try, you're right... they would want it to happen eventually." I shrug.
"It's settle, then." Haymitch drinks to that and Katniss looks at me with hope.
---------------
"Are you sure you don't want to come to the party?" I ask Haymitch before I have to leave for Snow's residence. "Lots of free alcohol."
"I don't need free alcohol." He chuckles amused, "I'm a victor. I already got that."
"Don't you want to save a damsel in distress?" I try again.
"Our president seems very well guarded on his own," Haymitch jokes, "he's safe."
I genuinely laugh at that shaking my head.
"See? I need that! Please?" I try to beg just one more time.
"Don't send me that look, Princess." He turns his head away ready to walk away.
"Fine, fine... I tried." I raise my hands up in surrender. "Wish me luck, at least. "
"Maybe they'll leave you alone tonight, too interested in the two lovers," he sadly smiles at me, hoping, rather than believing, his own words to be true.
"Yeah, maybe," I take a deep breath, "well... have a goodnight, Haymitch."
"You too, princess." He winks, "and eyes open."
------------
The party is just as exaggerated as ever. Lots of people, lots of food and drinks and lots of lights.
I make my way through the crowd, towards the tables full of food and drinks, hoping to find something to make this evening more tolerable. I take a glass and take a sip, breathing deeply.
Some people come to talk to me, about the victors, thankfully.
"Two victors, exciting, uh?" One of the them says cheerfully.
"Very," I say with my usual forced smile.
"You must be proud, two victors on your turn on 12," a woman with very voluminous hair nudges me, "you were the talk of the town these past few days, you know?"
"Me?" I ask, surprised by that, usually everyone forgets about me during the victory tour.
"Oh yes, well beside the lovebirds." A green haired man chimes in.
"Why?" I start to get anxious, the necklaces feel a lot tighter than before.
"I heard a rumour... someone wants to put a ring on your finger," she whisper-exclaims with a wink.
"W-what?... I don't think... uh..." I stutter.
"C'mon, everyone knows you're Cal Kingslay's favourite." She teases, with a devilish smirk, "and it's rumored that he wants you all to himself."
"Isn't that wonderful?" The man cheers. "We could probably get two well awaited weddings this year!"
"I hope I didn't ruin the surprise." The woman adds, with, what I'm sure is, a fake apologetic smile.
"Of course not. Now would you excuse me, gotta wait for my Victors." I say turning around to walk as far as possible from them, I finish my drink in one go and soon take another glass. Thankfully it's announced the arrival of Katniss and Peeta.
I spot them walking through the crowd following Effie and heading to Flavius and Octavia so I quickly join them.
As they see me arrive they immediately smile, relieved.
"There you are," I say holding my hands out for them to hold, "I've missed you,"
All for the cameras.
"It's only been 30 minutes," Peeta plays along.
"And you can stay that long away from me?" I fake offence, "You wound me,"
Everyone around us laugh so I just decide to stick with them as long as I can.
Helping them play along is much easier than expected, especially with Peeta, Katniss is still a little uncertain, but I get her, it got me years and years to get used to the cameras.
After I unfortunately finish my fourth glass, I need another one, in order to survive this evening.
"Excuse me a second," I whisper at them and head to the other side of the room where I can get another glass of Whiskey.
I turn around to go back to Katniss and Peeta when I'm met with a firm chest.
Unfortunately I already know who this might be.
"Found you" Cal teases.
I look up at him, the blue in his hair is even stronger than I remembered, and a little longer too, he got bigger, more muscles for sure, eyes just as devilish.
"That you did," I try to mask my fear with a chuckle.
"I've missed you, you know, been looking everywhere for you since I got here," he says with a sweet tone, that only makes my skin crawl. He grabs my hand to play with my fingers.
"I've been here the whole time, chatting with the Victors you know," I take my hand back, "I should get back to them, exc-"
"They got you all this time," he stops me from walking away, "it's not the same without you."
"I..." I want to say something, but nothing comes out.
"I mean, it's fun and all with Finnick, but with you..." he lets out a big dreamy sigh, "with you it's so much better"
He says the last part leaning in, close enough to suffocate me.
"Excuse me?"
We both turn and see Peeta standing there.
"Peeta!" I say, both surprised and relieved, "Peeta, uh.. this is Cal Kingslay, his father was once the general himself"
"Nice to meet you, sir," Peeta extends his hand and Cal grabs it and shakes it.
"The pleasure is all mine, Mr Mellark," Cal greets him, he's tense though, he doesn't like being interrupted.
"Uh... Peeta, where's Katniss?" I ask to change the subject.
"She's dancing with the new Head Gamemaker," he explains simply, "but I still wanted to dance so I thought to ask you, if you're free."
"Oh, but of course," I say holding out my hand for him.
"But..." Cal starts.
"Oh, c'mon, he's our new victor, we can't say no to him, now can we?"
"Of course not," Cal says with a very evident forced smile.
That being said, me and Peeta go dance with the other people, I even spot Katniss with said New head Gamemaker.
"Thank you," I breathlessly say as we start dancing.
"You're welcome, you looked like you needed saving," he says with his kind smile, "who is he?"
"A fan" I simply say, "a very... uh... insisting one"
"I see," he nods.
"Thanks again, really."
"Don't worry about it." He laugh, "I mean, you helped saving me in that arena, this is nothing."
It's actually a lot more than he thinks.
I smile at him, grateful.
I then feel a slight tap on my shoulder, I turn around seeing Katnis and the Gamemaker.
"Mind changing partners?" He asks politely.
"Sure."
Me and Katniss exchange spots.
"It's an honour," he says once we're dancing.
"That honour would be the same if I knew your name sir," I tease.
"Oh, my bad, I apologise." He chuckles, amused, "I'm Plutarch Heavensbee,"
"Now the honour is mine," I say, "new head Gamemaker... when did they choose you?"
"Oh, I volunteer," he simply explains.
"Oh..." I let out a surprised laugh, "I see Katniss is already dictating fashion."
"Yeah, she's an inspiration, don't you think?" He says it almost as a challenge.
"I do," I answer seriously. "There must be more then... why volunteer?"
"I think it's time for the game to mean something," he shrugs and smiles.
"Mean something?" I wonder, "that's pretentious,"
"A little," he chuckles again, "so I'd keep those eyes open, if I were you."
My eyes snap back at his face, he's smiling, proud of himself.
Why? Does he know something? Does Haymitch know something?
Before I get the chance to ask him anything, the Capitol anthem starts and the crowd cheers.
"I'm sure we'll meet again," he says before following the rest of the people out for President Snow's speech.
I'm a little stunned, it's Effie's call that snaps me out of it. I quickly join her, Katniss and Peeta out.
We all gather in front of the residence, waiting for the President Snow to come out. I turn around looking for Cal, only to make sure he doesn't sneak up on me again. I see him looking around, for me probably, so I quickly turn around getting closer to Katniss.
At last the President comes out on his balcony.
"Tonight, on this, the last day of their tour, I want to welcome our two Victors." He starts with his usual charming persona, two young people who embody our idealsof strength and valor. And I, personally, want to congratulate them on the announcement of their engagement."
Everyone cheers. Peeta and Katniss smile at the crowd around them.
"Your love has inspired us. And I know it will go on inspiring us every day for as long as you may live." He holds up his glass and the fireworks start and I turn around to look at them like everyone.
I sense Katniss holding my hand and turning around. I want to look at Snow too, but the way she starts to squeeze my hand tells me all I need to know...
He doesn't believe them.
It didn't work.
---------------
I'm sitting in an armchair staring at nothing in particular. My mind can't help but think about whatever we can do to make their story more believable, but nothing, absolutely nothing comes up.
The riots in the districts surely won't make him happy, which means it will be worse for everyone else.
Fuck.
My head snaps back as I hear footsteps coming, I let out a sigh when I notice it's just Katniss.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," she apologises.
"Don't worry about it," I wave her off, "can't sleep either?"
She shakes her head, I motion for her to sit with me.
"Do you think we ever had any chance?" She then asks me.
"I guess, the positive side of me really hoped... but the realistic side knew." I sigh, looking down at my own hands, "I'm afraid it was too late from the beginning. And I don't mean from what happen in 11... I mean from the moment you took out the berries, that made the districts feel something, these riots all over the place won't be pacify by a love story. Snow knows that."
"He asked me to convince him," she explains, "to convince him ours is true love."
"He never believed you." I directly say, "not for a second."
"Why ask me that then?"
"Control." I simply answer looking up at her with a serious expression. "Show you he has control."
"How did you end up living like this?" She asks, she seems genuinely interested, but I'm not ready to share that part of my life with her just yet.
I smile at her, a smile that doesn't reach my eye.
"Aw... Katniss, I thought you knew the difference between living" I turn serious again, looking her dead in the eyes," and surviving."
With that I stand up, grab a bottle of what I think is rum, and head to my room.
-----------
I stand by the doors waiting for Peeta, Katniss and Haymitch to get off the train. The thought of going back to normal is dreadful enough, going back alone is even worse, I don't want to think about it.
"Home sweet home," Haymitch declares as he nears.
"Don't be so eager to leave me," I joke, holding my hand out for him to shake, he takes and kiss the back of it.
"You know, it pains me deeply," he teases back and I chuckle.
"Take care of them, will you?" I ask quietly.
"You take care of yourself, will you?" He lets go of my hand and leans down to whisper into my ear, "and eyes open" He smiles one more time before getting of the train.
"You'll have to explain that to me properly one of these days," I tell him as I watch him go.
"Isn't his whole character just... cryptic?" I turn around seeing Peeta and Katniss.
"Or just constantly drunk." Katniss chimes in.
"He's cryptically drunk all the time," I smile, "so... you got everything?"
"Yeah, we're ready to get home." Peeta smile back at me.
"Good... Good." I let out a deep sigh, "it's been a pleasure assisting you two. I guess I'll see you at the next Hunger Games, mentors."
"Thank you for everything, Y/n." Peeta pulls me in for a quick hug before walking away.
"Bye," I wave then turn to Katniss, "you okay?"
"Yeah... I think so." She forces a small smile.
"I wish I could do more," I tell her honestly.
"Thanks,"
"Say hi to your family for me, alright?" I smile again and she nods.
Once Katniss is out of sight a Peacekeeper comes up to me.
"Yes?" I ask.
"Your presence has been requested back in the Capitol. We'll be leaving soon." He tells me.
"May I know who requested it?" I ask, tired. I already imagine who-
"President Snow."
Uh?
"Did he say why?"
The peacekeeper doesn't answer and walks away. I stand here dumbfounded, wondering what he might want from me.
Is it because of Katniss and Peeta?
Is it because of the riots in the districts?
Is it because of the Quartel Quell? Does he wants me to be more participant or?
Then a terrifying thought comes to mind...
------------
"You asked for me, sir?" I stand in front of his desk as he write something down.
"It came to my attention a rumour's veen going around regarding you, miss L/n." He starts, still not looking directly at me, "a merry one."
"Sir?" I ask, my throat instantly dry.
"Cal Kingslay apparently wants to marry you," he finally puts down the pen and looks at me with, what might seem, a genuinely happy expression, "That's a wonderful news."
"Is it?" I don't know what he wants from me.
"Oh yes, the people can't help but be thrilled about. the idea. I, myself, think it's great news. After the contributions the Kingslays gave to the games in these last years, it will show, not only to the Capitol, but the districts as well, that you are an active part of this system." He explains, the hint of a challenge in his eyes. Challenge me to say no, to refuse.
I really want to, I want to scream at him and just run away. Being sold to all rich people in the Capitol is not the life I want, but being tied to him... permanently, it's more terrifying.
But I have no choice.
All I can do is swallow my pride and take a deep shaky breath.
"I... how... how will it happen, sir?" I ask.
"You two will get engaged once I announce the Third Quarter Quell and get properly married after the crowing of the Victor. He will ask, you will happily say yes." He explains, satisfied with my compliance, then he goes back at the papers in front of him, "That's all."
I don't need him to tell me twice, I immediately walk out of his office, ready to go home and just let everything out.
"Oh, before you go," Snow's voice freezes me on the spot, "Plutarch Heavensbee asked for your company, you will be escorted to his house immediately." He informs me.
I shakily nod and walk out of his office where two guards make way.
-----------
"Do you want some tea?" Plutarch motion for me to sit at a big wooden table, "perhaps something stronger?"
I nervously nod as I sit.
He walks away, I hear him talking to someone before walking back into the room I'm in with two drinks in hand. He offers one to me and sits by the opposite side of the table.
"I told the guards to come back in an hour, we should have enough time" he smiles and I nod again, still not sure of what to expect.
Suddenly the lights go off and the room falls into deep darkness. I can still make out his face due to the lights coming from outside.
"What...?" I ask.
"You can never feel safer," he tells me.
"What's going on, Mr Heavensbee?" I ask, anxiety growing at every passing second.
"Tell me, miss L/n," he starts, voice a little quieter than before, "what do you know about district 13?"
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